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#im sorry girl i'll try better
aryxchse · 6 months
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Girl I need ANYTHING for percy and nyx! Reader cause I wanna self indulge 🤭
Maybe headcanons? A blurb ?
Anything really. maybe sprinkle some Egyptian shit in there cause I love representation of my pretty country. 🤭
Like that amazing fic you did for percy x Turkish reader
LOVE U BESTIE 💙
constellation. | percy jackson x daughter of nyx! reader
a / n : baby i didn't know what to mention about egyp so i wrote some mentions for ya, thank thank thank you for the compliments, love u smm!!! 🤍
warnings : mentions about dying, cleopatra's grave (i hope that's the thing a woman got close to finding), but suprisingly not else
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"and the closest person to find her grave was a woman, can you believe that?" you said, pausing the video. percy nodded exictedly with you, head resting on your shoulder.
"you really know a lotta stuff about cleopatra," he said and you rolled your eyes. "duh, im egyptian." percy chuckled, kissing your shoulder. "yeah, my bad."
you guys were doing a picnic out in the camp's secret forests, one that you two managed to found in one of your sneaking out sessions. you both layed under the stars, percy snuggling into you like a koala while you made him watch cleopatra documentary videos with you.
you put your phone away, playing with percy's hair instead. percy was now watching the sky just like you, trying to find constellations.
"what's that?" he pointed out. you looked where he was pointing. "orion." you explained, resting your cheek on his head. percy hummed, still searching for stars to ask you.
"and that?"
"big bear."
"that?"
"aquarius."
"you know so many."
"i know all of them percy."
he chuckled at your response, kissing your colarbone. "my bad again, sorry." he murmured and you only smiled. "i didn't know you could see this much constellations from camp."
"i know right?" he agreed, hugging your waist tighter. "do you have the power to create a constellation?" he asked softly. you hummed, thinking for a moment. "maybe, who knows?"
"would you make me a constellation if i died?" he asked quietly.
"stop asking things like that," you warned, already starting to overthink. "you know i hate these conversations."
"yeah, sorry. my ba-"
"your bad, i know." you both laughed. after a minute of silence, you finally had the courage to answer his question.
"i wouldn't." you whispered.
"hm?" he asked, resting his chin on your colarbone. "you wouldnt what?"
"i wouldn't turn to you in a constellation." he frowned, standing up on his elbows. "why not?"
"you'd shine so bright that the other constellations wouldn't be seen."
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b4kuch1n · 1 year
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pre-holiday leave crumbs
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it#anyways. tomorrow I Travel#The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed#three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying)#goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn#anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours#until I gotta get up for car time#kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct#20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it#I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it#oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop#in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here#hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them)#also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl'#it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that#literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however#anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo#have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again#eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day
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insomnya777 · 5 months
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hi! how do you. describe characters so you don’t just use pronouns like 37 times in a row
(Especially when characters all use the same pronouns 😭)
omg ok wait this is one of the hardest things ever. i hate using like descriptive words like "the blonde man" "the taller one" etc because it just like icks me out for some reason so usually i just use character names often and then switch to pronouns. it can still get vague or confusing sometimes so then i try to just reorder the sentence/phrase it differently
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 2 months
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I just finished watching S2E13 The Stan Who Came To Dinner, and there's a scene I didn't remember before in which Stan asks for Dorothy's forgiveness for all the times he cheated on her, because he wants to face his operation with a clear conscience. Which is,, yikes, of course, but also not the thing I want to talk about right now.
What surprised me is that Dorothy seems to be shocked at his revelations? It seems like she really didn't know about Stan's infidelity? I mean, the whole dialogue begins with her saying:
"I've already forgiven you for that, Stanley. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, it's not bad to wait 38 years to make your first big mistake."
I initially thought his mistake was divorcing Dorothy (since his line before this one is 'I love you, Dorothy. That sounds crazy because I walked out on you, but it's true.' ), but then he admits that the divorce wasn't his first mistake, because he's cheated on Dorothy before -- and she seems genuinely taken aback:
"I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that I am hearing this. I always assumed something like this could happen, but..."
And this was so strange to me, because I always sort of assumed she did know. She even caught him one time! In S7E8-9 The Monkey Show, she recounts this episode about Stan:
"[...] I rehearsed my speech and I made arrangements to meet him at a coffee shop. I got there five minutes early and caught him necking with a waitress."
So... she does know (of at least one time)? But then, why didn't she say anything?
I feel like there's three possible answers:
She really doesn't know. She thought the incident with the waitress was a one-time occurrence, and she's believed him all throughout their marriage when he said he was 'going at a convention' or 'working late' or whatever excuse he used to cover his actions.
She's lying to him in the S2E13 scene -- and she's lied to him all throughout their marriage. She does know about his affairs, and never confronted him because she wanted to keep their marriage and their family together more than she hated his guts; she didn't want to rock the boat, so to say. What shocks her in the S2E13 scene is that he's admitting this stuff out loud, with plenty of details.
She lied to herself all throughout their marriage. As trustful of him as Dorothy can be (and as trustful of him as she was in her youth, especially), she's also a smart cookie, and Stan's not really the sharpest tool in the shed. It's hard for me to believe that she never figured out that he was cheating on her, especially after catching him with that waitress; it's easier to think that she forced herself to believe his gaslighting, as part of her efforts to be a good wife to him. When Stan (sort of...) comes clean, she's shocked because it's sinking in, in real time, that she was right.
I'm not sure which option is more likely; I feel like it's probably a mix of the three. At the beginning of their marriage she likely didn't think it possible and believed everything he told her; once she caught him with the waitress, she had a sort of transition phase where she tried to believe he was faithful to her even though she knew the truth, deep down, and then by the end of her marriage she was over it, and simply chose not to let him have it. She's shocked in S2E13 because she can't believe he's admitting this stuff out loud, but she doesn't seem as shocked (and angry) as she would be if she was just finding it out in the moment, imho.
I also feel like her knowing about his infidelity doesn't change the meaning of the first mistake line, because, well... he's always come back before. He's come back to hurt her again and again, but he has come back -- and then she gets a phone call, and suddenly, for the first time, he's not coming back anymore. It's the one time that's so devastatingly painful it eclipses everything that came before -- no wonder she counts it as his first mistake.
#it's 'thinking about dorothy's marriage' hours once again folks#ohh dorothy... oh honey.......#there is so much going on in this episode this is just a part of it. the mere fact that this sorry excuse for a man comes to her for help?#and then he proceeds to LIVE IN HER HOUSE for months?? being waited upon for his every request??#and then he has the gull to LIE TO HER and fake a relapse just to keep being waited upon?? he asks for her forgiveness for his cheating???#he TELLS HER HE LOVES HER??? bitch im going to murder you!!!! leave the woman alone!!!!!!#blanche and rose and sophia are really good in this one they *do not* let him catch a breath i'm so grateful for them#half their time is spent insulting stan and the other half supporting dorothy. perfect no notes#i only wish dorothy telling stan to 'grow up' and to stop relying on her had had any consequence... and instead#he kept bothering her until the very end like the parasite he is#i also wish blanche and rose had kept this energy for the whole 'dorothy remarries stan' thing but oh well#that answer 3 is hurting me so much... like the mere idea...#i can see her lying in her bed at night alone and trying to convince herself that surely. this time. he really is away on a work trip.#there's no way he's having another affair. he's working. he's providing for the family. surely this time he didn't lie#but deep down she knows. she knows he's with someone else. and it eats her up even worse because she pretends everything's fine#AGH dorothy!!!! girl you should have planted a knife between his eyes!!! im sure you would have gotten away with it!!!#i'll go back in time and do it for you if you won't do it!!! just PLEASE girl stop giving him the benefit of the doubt!!!!!#YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak
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feltcaverns · 6 months
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Hey you should know that He ended up responding to me and my friends poking fun at him on Saph's blog. So I would keep working under the assumption he's watching you. Stay safe you two
Where the hell do you people learn about opsec??? Fucking reddit memes?
HELLOI HAVE BEEN LEARNING ABOJUT A LOT OF REDDIT MEMES.
Okay. Thanks for telling the crowd about that. (This was a goddamn mistake.)
:)
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sometimes i think about that one post about how you should have people who are absolutely delighted by your existence and like that's nice and all but what happens when they get bored of u
#im so sorry for being mentally ill on main i've just had a ROUGH couple of weeks#got covid for the first time and then my car started acting weird and now i have to pay 2k to fix it and also it's.#impossible for me to get to work with like an uber or whatever cause the guards would get pissed off#so now i have to rely on my coworkers/friends who also work with me to give me rides#and i don't live that far from work but it's still Awful being a burden#and next week is going to be so much. in terms of the ridiculous workload i gave myself#and it would be fine if i was 100% but im still so so so tired from having covid#my room is somewhat cleaner tho.#and that's Better but im still overwhelmed#im just dumping everything into my closet so i don't have to Look At it#so that i can have a clean space for my stupid mental health and then i'll slowly chip away at the closet mess over the next week#this is all unrelated to the post.#the post is about what happens when people who love u run out of patience#and also if u keep being like uwu u promise u love me uwu#they're just going to get annoyed at ur insecurity and LEAVE YOU#the problem is. i am a bit abrasive and have trouble making friends because of that. and im working on that#even tho a lot of my friends do tell me not to change cause they like my personality but also i want everyone to love me and that's not#possible with how i am#(im working on the Lying. it's so hard. i was at dinner the other day and someone asked me for a bite of my food and i went sure!#and then everyone started laughing and was like girl stop Trying to Lie just say no we all see u don't want to share#and then someone was like 'but i love how transparent you are about everything' (which is very funny because i actually hate this person an#have been working very very very hard to hide it for the sake of the rest of my friends even tho they tell me i don't have to but im trying#to not be mean to him. he sucks. even tho he's not trying to fuck me anymore he absolutely sucks. made my friend's bday about him.#oh there was a point to this but i got distracted)#anyways. the lying. i'm trying So Hard. i feel like this is a skill my parents should have taught me#and im still trying to figure out Where i got the bluntness from but i think that's just Me and not something i can blame my parents for#delete later#these tags don't make any sense but it's ok i just wanted to word vomit and feel slightly less overwhelmed and now im going to continue#cleaning my room. and then im going to go work out and then im going to finish lesson planning for tomorrow#and im probably going to tell leah that she has to be nice to me at work tomorrow or im going to cry and hopefully she'll listen
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livin4woso · 22 days
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Never meet your hero (alexia putellas x teen!reader)
Summary - After transferring to Barcelona, the reader just wants to impress their idol, yet no matter how hard they try, it won't ever be enough. Alexia only realises their admiration when they accidentally push themselves too far.
Growing up womens football was rarely spoken about but if you dug for it you could find the media and thats when you in 2019 stumbled across alexia putellas a Barcelona midfielder with promising talent to be one of the greats.
You quickly found yourself trying to be like her and while she was claiming more accolades and fame to the name putellas; you were climbing the ranks of Chelsea academy football fast and not realsing you too were making a name for yourself.
Then it happened at 17 years old. You had somehow managed to gain the attention of Barcelona for a 4 year-long contract after making your professional debut for Chelsea just 8 months beforehand. Now, this raised some spectacle across the Barcelona team, and the fans, as you were young, couldn't speak spanish, which wasn't an issue but to compete with the stacked Barcelona midfield full of ballon d'or winners and major tournament winners was where people wondered how good you were.
Even you wondered how you were going to fit into the midfield, but playing with your football hero who made you change your playing style to the one that made you succeed was another type of pressure. You wanted to impress her and not seem like some scrawny teenager who had been given way too big of boots to fill.
You had arrived in Barcelona and the club hadn't wanted you to live on your own so the only other native english speaking member of the team keira was happy to let you crash at hers for your first year. "Im so sorry for crashing in your apartment for the next year, man. i swear I'll be clean around the place, and you know, help out," you told her as you were unpacking your belongings into her spare bedroom. "Honestly y/n its fine. Don't stress about it, it'll be nice to have some company in the place," she said with a warm smile.
You had spent the week before training at keiras just to settle into the area and get a grip on the basics of spanish and some catalan phrases which wasnt going the best for you or keira who was trying to teach you. It was finally time for you to start training with the team after far too many medical and fitness tests the team made you do. Keira was driving you there, and you had started to feel the nerves build in your chest as it finally hit you that you were meeting your idol and many other players who you deeply admired.
You had stood in the changing room waiting for the rest of the girls and as you stood you were using your hand to try to flatten out the creases on your training top and pushing back the fly aways from your hair to make yourself more presentable. Meeting the team wasn't as scary as you had thought it would have been. Everyone was friendly and kind to you, greeting you with smiles and shaking your hand until you were faced with alexia.
She was rather stoic in her features, and she was rather intimidating, but she was going to be your captain anyway so you just had to deal with it "hi im y/n erm sorry about not knowing spanish yet im trying too." You said as you tried not to stare at the floor as nerves dripped through your words "its fine im alexia, you're new captain" thats all she said back to you and ignored your hand that you held up for a handshake you thought maybe it was her lack of english but you let it slide.
As the weeks progressed, alexias attitude never changed towards you she would laugh and joke with vicky pina and patri, yet when you were around, it was like she could flick a switch of pretending you weren't there or would just blankly ignore you. It had started to get under your skin as you had took extra spanish lessons to fit in and would spend extra hours in the gym to be better to get better so she could appreciate you as a team member.
It had reached international break, and unfortunately, you hadn't been selected, which you had expected, and you had to practically beg keira. You would be fine on your own for the next 2 weeks. That was a lie in those 2 weeks you had worked yourself to the bone training and in the gym every moment of the day and while you thought this would be a positive you had been neglected your bodys health by not eating enough; by this point you were only eating dinner and a few random snacks just too make sure you weren't going to starve to death.
The change wasn't too noticeable, so it was nothing anyone was going to flag off as unhealthy behaviour, which led you to believe you were doing the right thing to be better for alexia, for her approval. You wanted to prove you could be like vicky or patri or anyone else in the team because to you she was your everything and yet she only saw a teenager but she didn't release she was treating you like an outsider.
Alexia putellas the la renia she had a reputation and she saw potential in you she did but she thought a tough love approach would make you a better player yet she had took it to another level that she didn't realise. She never noticed the way your shoulders dropped when she wouldn't compliment a good goal in training or the way tears welled in your eyes when she wouldn't joke on with you like the other girls. She was oblivious to it until it took a turn for the worst.
You were working yourself into the ground, and it was clear you weren't going to stop until someone told you to. These unhealthy habits had continued but not to the extreme when keira had returned from international break. They were so subtle that unless you were looking for it, it would be noticeable.
It was a Wednesday training session, and after an early gym session, it was time for field work, which was your favourite time of training. However, you should have noticed it your passes were sloppy. Your movements were slower than normal, and you just couldn't hit the target of the net. Then it happened it was during quick fire 5v5 games with the mini goal 6 minutes on, then 6 minutes off.
It was just your luck that you had been chosen to mark alexia, and it was round 3 of the games when something didn't feel right. You looked to receive the pass from esmee to turn and move forward when all of a sudden everything went so fast you couldn't comprehend it. Your body became heavy, and so did your eyelids, and that was it. You lost all control of your body, and it collapsed in on itself to a bonless pile on the pitch.
Meanwhile for alexia it was the opposite it was like slow motion she was stood opposite you waiting to defend your play when you missed the ball completely and your body went dropping to the ground with quite a loud thud which caused the game to be stopped immediately. She was hunched over you, trying to make you regain consciousness by lightly shaking your shoulder. The medics raced onto the pitch. However, alexia wouldn't budge from her spot next to you she needed to know if you were okay.
There was a ringing in your ear which had changed to a mix of voices and random spanish words which you could translate but not in the disoriented state you were in at the moment. You tried to open your eyes, but it was like looking directly into the sun, and the only thing you could understand coherently was alexias voice "y/n are you okay?" She asked you, her voice laced with concern "mmh what happened?" You asked back groggily to her."You don't remember you just passed out onto the floor, " she said to you, and it had set panic of within you shit. im done for.
You had managed to be hauled to your feet with your body weight being supported by alexia, and you couldn't tell if she was doing this because she cared or rather it was captains duties. You were now sat on the medical table after being forced to chug a bottle of water and an energy gel. However, alexia still hadn't left your side while it was strange to you it was rather comforting. The medical staff had ran quite a few tests on you to figure out the cause of why you passed out. However, you knew why your body was physically exhausted, but you were also mentally exhausted.
"So miss y/l/n it seems that the cause of your collapse was your body being overworked and a lack of the correct nutrition. We've noticed you have a slightly decrease in body weight however you have been adding up to 6 hours extra training a week we have on record." The medic stated and well it wasnt a suprise to you but too alexia she was shocked you could be doing this to yourself. "Y/n this isn't healthy why have you been training so much extra?" Alexia states to you but unfortunately you couldn't be professional on your response you told her the truth.
"Because im clearly not good enough for you or the team all i wanted was you to appreciate me on the team yet you hate me. I learnt spanish for you i tried so hard for you to notice me yet everytime you see me you blank me or frown at me and i want to know how can i be better" the words tumble out of your mouth as tears threaten to fall down your face. And in that moment alexia could feel her heart break she was the reason you had worked yourself to the bone for her and she had treat you like a piece of gum on her shoe. "Y/n im so sorry i thought that if i was tough on you, you would improve under pressure but it was really wrong of me im so sorry I'll try to be better for you because its not fair for you" she said to you.
"Well it doesn't matter anymore i dont care about you and your opinion and im done trying for you because its clear i dont matter to you" you shouted storming out of the medical office where keira was waiting in the car to take you home. The ride home was a tense one as keira had found out about your unhealthy behaviour, but you didn't need a lecture as she could tell you knew it was wrong.
Since then alexia was much nicer to you however it had never been the same you hadn't seeked out for the validation of alexia you had realised that praise is awarded and not always found when looking for. While you had never found the love to forgive alexia for your rocky start to your time in barca she had found solace in watching you progress and prove that she knew she was right to recommend you to transfer in the first place but she wouldn't ever tell you it was her because you needed to become your own player rather than tagging along to be the next alexia putellas.
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zweiginator · 2 months
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omg escort!reader and divorced!art is so well written you are an artist… i need to know what happens when she gets back from hiatus🫢 maybe she is taught to not reveal too much personal stuff but art is just so desperate and lonely that she caves… maybe she gives him the most intimate and passionate blowjob of his life and he’s so pathetic because he hadn’t gotten his dick sucked in like two years and it’s so good that maaaaybe he cries a little…
art calls one more time, exactly a week after his first one. he asks politely to the woman on the other end, your boss--is she back yet?
and just by the breathy desperation in art's voice, she knows who is calling. who he wants so badly.
"look--she'll give you a call when she comes back. i'm not sure when that is. you may hear from her before i even do. are you sure you don't want to book a session with another girl in the meantime?" she explains that there's another girl who looks a little like you.
"that won't be necessary." art takes a sip of his gin and tonic. "i'll wait for her."
she sighs, lets it go. tells art to have a good night and art wishes her the same. but his head sinks into the pillow, the bitter curl of gin still on his tongue and he wonders where you are.
three days later you come back. your boss had flagged you down when you came in to talk money with some of the other higher-ups.
"hey, a client of yours called a couple times while you were out."
you plunge the applicator of your lip gloss back into the sticky tube.
"really? who?"
"guy named art, i think he said. sounded like you really made a lasting impression."
art. of course you remember him. dirty blond hair with salted white strands around the crown of his head. sunken in eyes that turned boyish when he smiled, although the wrinkles around his eyes revealed wisdom, experience. the smell of musk and tobacco radiated from him like the cradle of his body heat.
"long time client?" she asks you.
"no. just once." it surprises you, that he cared so much to call.
"you must've made a good impression." she winks.
your heart sinks a bit when you remember how you forgot the money. that maybe he only called to urge you to pick it up, not wanting to be caught up on the bad side of a system like this one.
so you go to his hotel room. you remember art telling you he was taking a break from tennis, that he would be staying at that hotel down by the highway for as long as they'd let him.
and art is watching shitty reality television when he hears a knock. your knock. three open-palmed bangs and art is opening the door in an old t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. somehow, he looks even better than before.
"hi." a smile creeps up. a big one.
you blush and look down at your feet. that's so unlike you. "hi. im back."
"please, come in. i'm sorry." he ushers you inside and latches the door. "i was about to make a gin & tonic. you want one?"
"no, thank you. i heard you had called the service about me?" you sit on the desk chair across from the bed.
"yes--I" a pause, like he's trying to really gather himself. "i'm sorry if that was inappropriate. you forgot the money and--I just really wanted to see you again. if i'm being completely honest."
you try to hide how your face contorts, disappointment as art mentions the forgotten cash, bliss as he admits the calls were to ask for you.
"here i am." you scoot forward. "not inappropriate. i promise, you're much more respectful than most of the callers we get."
art asks to cradle you in his lap again and you oblige. you like to feel small with him, and he likes to feel strong and protective and push your hair away from your forehead to kiss you there. it all feels so much more intimate than sex could ever be.
"have you been feeling any better?" you ask art.
he ponders, and then nods. "yes, actually. since meeting you ive felt better."
"good. that's good." you latch your lips under his ear. "i thought about you while i was away."
blood rushes to arts face. "really? in what way?"
"i didn't pleasure you at all."
art pulls your face close to yours. stares at your lips and the dip of your cupids bow.
"you did pleasure me."
one of his hands cradles your head, the other resting on the top of your thigh. you grab him, making his fingers trace up your torso, your throat. and then you suck his fingers into your mouth. you swirl your tongue and let the spit drool out of you and make a mess.
for the first time, art groans. it's guttural and surprises you. the both of you. because it came out involuntarily, a dormant beast that the warmth of your tongue pulled out, inch by inch.
a twitch under your ass. he's hard. but the skin of his fingers is so, so soft. regardless of the callouses on his palms from tennis rackets.
"i want to make you cum."
this vocabulary. this depth of conversation, of laying each other out in the open and digesting stories and vulnerabilities is not your job. using such straightforward verbiage is not your job. your job is to be pretty and be used and be paid for it.
but this isn't your job right now. because art never paid you, and you still haven't brought up the $800, although you saw it in an envelope with your name in small, capital letters, blue ink.
you're not his escort. no, right now you're his lover.
art tilts your chin up. "do whatever you want to me. even if it hurts me, i'll want it."
and god, he's so fucking ridiculous with those puppy dog eyes and furrowed eyebrows. pathetic but in a way that made you want him to use you even more. but he won't.
you untie his pajama bottoms.
"do you want me to make you cum?" you yank them down, along with his boxers.
"yes. fuck. yes." his erection slaps his stomach and he's long. pink and wet with pre-cum; it looks just as pathetic and needy as he does.
you wrap your hand around him.
"pretty, pretty cock." you stroke him, pretty painted nails wrapped around the length of him. "so hard. god, i bet it feels so good to be touched like this."
it does. god, it does. but art can't speak. his mouth hangs open because you're touching him like it means the world to you to do so. so, so, slow. intentional how you feel the ridges of him.
he closes his eyes, just for a second. but then he misses seeing your face, how it mirrors yours in terms of pleasure, even though he isn't touching you at all.
his eyes open to see a glob of spit falling from your lips as you stare at him. his micro-expressions. he nods.
"do you want me to get it nice and wet for you?"
you already have, bubbly spit warming his cock so nicely.
"yes. please--"
the sounds of you touching him are louder now. he hasn't been touched like this in so long he feels like he may just cum right now. spill into your hands and apologize profusely. tell you he isn't usually like this.
but then he feels your lips. a soft kiss to his tip and he groans. instinctively grabs your hair and you open your mouth all the way for him.
"fuck my throat." you say it so sweetly, his erection still in your hand, ghosting over your mouth. tempting him.
"i dont want to hurt you."
you bat your eyelashes. "fucking doesn't necessarily mean fast or hard. fuck me how you want to."
he wants to worship you. he wants to feel you from the inside out. but he'll take this.
he holds the back of your head and tells you to tap out if you're in pain. as if he forgot the nature of why you're here. you kind of have.
you nod and you're drooling for him. over a year of doing this and you've never felt your heart beat so assuredly. knowing that you want him more than it's healthy too. that this is more than a contract between seller and buyer.
he pushes in. slowly, inch by inch and your eyes water. he holds your hand tightly and you squeeze him back. you're completely still. you trust him all the way as he fucks your throat slowly. his spongy head hits the very back of your throat and every movement makes art whimper, moan, swear. it makes you wetter than his hands being all over you. just pleasing him. he deserves it and so much more.
"fuck--you look so pretty. taking all of me. want you to take everything i fuckin' have--"
his hips stop moving, they stutter. and you pull off him, opting to do all the work yourself. it's messy; spit drips between his thighs and you kiss his shaft up and down. kitten lick him, worship him. softly stroke him and tell him you want him to cum, you want him, you want him.
it's not a lie, but art wouldn't care if it were. hearing the words makes him cry, makes him finish, makes him pull you onto his lap as he's still coming down. to hold you close. you wipe his tears and stay all night.
411 notes · View notes
love-belle · 10 months
Text
i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.
or
for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 3,628,344 others
yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all
18,528 comments
username IM SCREAMING MISS MA'AM WHAT IS THIS
username you were driving fast??? i was holding back??? and i loved you babe??? but i bet u knew that???
username nothing has ever and will ever hurt me like this ep has
username I MEANT DON'T GO IT CAME OUT AS GOODBYE U SAID FINE WHEN YOU SHOULD'VE SAID WE COULD TRY
username the way she's literally our mother like AHSHSJSJJSJSKSS I LOVE U
username lewis hamilton watch ur back
username tears are streaming down what the fuck
username OH SHIT I WON THE BREAKUP
username love how this ep is her crying abt lewis and simultaneously shitting on him and somehow still blaming herself for everything
username THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 HEAVEN 😭 KNOWS 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 AND 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 GOES 😭
landonorris nice album 👍
-> yourusername thank u this random dude said it hit all the right corners
-> yourusername unlike u in the last race
-> landonorris UNPROVOKED
-> username NAH SHE'S SO WRONG FOR THIS
username did it hurt? when y/n finally acknowledged her break up but with a 5 song ep that rips out ur heart out of ur body and crushes it?
username need lewis to blind react to this NOW
username I KNOW THAT I SHOULD KNOW BETTER
username the way i know lewis saw this post and cried like imagine having to say that y/n y/l/n is ur ex gf???
-> username right like i would litch never show my face again
-> username no bc he was so "my girl is angry with me i hope death takes me swiftly" HOW IS HE HOLDING UP
username they still follow each other that HAS to mean something
username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN
-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)
carmenmmundt so proud 🩷
-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH
username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO
username WHEN U SAID WE'RE LIKE YOUR MUM AND DAD KNEW U LOVED ME BABE WHEN U TOLD ME THAT
username im in shambles whatcthe fufk
lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT
-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU
username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME
-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED
username she did NOT hold back
-> username committed several felonies one by one
-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK
username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD
username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears
charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".
-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that
-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT
-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT
username the way i loved u i will not be embarrassed of that just should've known when to quit ARE U KIDDING ME Y/N
username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,628,148 others
lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago
16,689 comments
username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK
username nah im like wtf
username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????
username nah the audacity of men sometimes
username im going feral wgatctefuck
landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same
-> lewishamilton lando?
username bitches are so messy sometimes i LOVE it
username the way i know he cried while hitting post
-> username frrrr LMFAO like there's no way he's this thriving after the break up
username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔
username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????
-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv
-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"
-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭
username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her
-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP
username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again
maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.
-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?
-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC
-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed
username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf
-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS
-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk
-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK
-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO
-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔
-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf
georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???
-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me
-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE
-> username russell george i am shook
-> username omg he's madddddd
username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise
-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone
-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this
-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to
-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment
-> username roscoe barked at him
mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff
-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.
-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff
-> maxverstappen1 yes we will
-> charles_leclerc yes we will
-> carlossainz55 yes we will
-> landonorris yes we will
-> oscarpiastri yes we will
-> danielricciardo yes we will
-> fernandoalo_official yes we will
-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 3,186,419 others
yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours
comments on this post have been limited
username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK
username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other
username IM CRYING ARE WE REALLY DONE DONE NOW
username OH SHIT YOU WON THE BREAKUP 🗣️🔥💯‼️
username i will forever remember the y/nlewis era 💔💔💔💔💔
username nah wtf i wasn't even this sad over my ACTUAL REAL parents divorce
username do it for roscoe guys get back bc of him :(
charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing
-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing
-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT
-> username IM CRYING SHE WILL NEVER LET THE GRID LIVE IN PEACE
username i will always remember the way lewis was so :) whenever she was around and the way y/n was so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like
username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER
-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other
username y/n i will always let u bejeweled pls give me a chance
roscoelovescoco not cools mum's
-> yourusername LOG OUT OF THIS ACC I SWEAR TO GOD LEWIS
-> username IM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK
username I DON'T NEED YOUR LIGHT TO BE LIT
lilymhe YOU'RE GLOWING I LOVE U STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AHSHSJSISN 😡😡😡😡😡
-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU
username forever in love with her like AHSJSJSS
username i screamed
username someone sedate me im ginna pass out WHAT IS THIS
1K notes · View notes
itsnevercasual · 4 months
Text
Infinity
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pairing: college au!harry x reader
summary: The guy next door likes to blast music. You maybe-sorta-kinda really like him.
warnings: cussing, not edited, im not in college idk how it works…
You didn’t want to be annoying. Truly, you didn’t. But you and your roommate, Daisy, were asleep.
Or…
Trying to be.
It was difficult with the blasting music next door.
And honestly, you had tried to avoid it. Had let them play their loud music for months now. Sent Daisy over to tell them to shut up so you didn’t have to (because despite her name, she was terrifying when she got mad).
But.. really?
It had to be, like… three in the morning. They’d been blasting it since nine pm, and you hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.
So, clad in your bunny slippers, pajama pants you stole from someone (don’t ask who, you don’t remember) and a Fleetwood Mac shirt four sizes too big (because that was all they had at the thrift store), hair pulled back into a very messy braid, and glasses you rarely wore because you liked yourself better with contacts (mainly because you were so blind your glasses made your eyes look bigger), you stomped on over.
You pounded on the door (not really.. your knock barely made a sound), and miraculously, they heard you and opened the door.
A boy opened it.
No. Not a boy.
A cute boy. A very, very cute boy.
You blinked in surprise. You had expected girls… were boys even allowed on the same floor as girls?
“Ehm.. can I help you?” he asked after you were silent for a little too long.
“Oh. Right. Uh.. would you mind turning the music off? I have a final tomorrow, and.. I’m next door, so.. I can kinda hear it. On full blast. Um.. you don’t have to turn it off.. just.. down..”
He sighed, turning into the dorm to shout, “I told you to turn it down, Lou!” he turns back to you. “Yeah. Sorry. My mate’s practically deaf, I’m pretty sure. Doesn’t realize how loud he is… you say you’re next door?”
You nod.
“You got the alarmingly scary roommate named after a flower?”
Another nod. Why was he making small talk? You wanted to sleep.
“Ah. Glad y’didn’t send her over.”
He eyes you up and down, giving that sentence another meaning you didn’t really like.
"Right. Well.. just.. turn it down, please," you give an awkward smile and nod.
When you turn to walk away, he stops you, "’ey-- little rude to not give me y'name, isn't it?"
"Oh. Uh.. I’m Y/N."
He grins, "Well, hello, Y/N. I’m Harry."
You nod, pursing your lips as you pull on a strand of your hair.
There’s a beat of silence, and you contemplate just throwing yourself off a bridge, honestly.
"I'll see you around, Y/N."
With that, you scurry off to your room. Despite being uncomfortable in the moment, it wasn't because of him. You just were horrid at talking to boys.
-
A few weeks passed, and you accepted the fact that maybe you wouldn't see your neighbor as much as you hoped you would.
And really, you weren’t surprised. You’d never seen him before, why would that change? It made perfect sense that he remained as elusive as he had apparently always been.
Well, that is, until you were dragged to a party you really didn’t wanna go to in clothes you really weren’t all that comfortable wearing at your house— let alone at some douchey frat party.
The first hour was fine because it was early, so only a handful of people were drunk.
The second hour was less enjoyable, the longer the party went on, the more people drank.
In the third hour, your friends shoved a drink in your hand, and once you finished it, they sucked you into taking far too many shots.
The fourth hour was when you started to get antsy. You were pushing over the edge of just being a little too tipsy, and it was hot and sticky and crowded and had it always been so hard to breathe?
You shoved your way out of the crowd and onto the empty (or so you thought) patio, and exhaled. It was less of a patio and more of a balcony, since it was the second floor— but it was huge. 20 people could comfortably stand on it and not be crowded.
Your heels clack on the concrete as you walk to the edge of the patio, leaning on the railing as you take deep breaths.
“That bad in there?”
You nearly jump out of your skin at the familiar british voice. You spin around with wide eyes and a hand over your heart, “Jesus Christ! Don’t do that!”
“Sorry!” he raises his hands in defense. “I thought you saw me!”
“Clearly not!” you pause and take a deep breath, “Sorry— I’m kinda drunk and I hate being drunk. I’m paranoid enough when I’m sober, so when I can’t even walk straight I’m extra jumpy and anxious. And I honestly didn’t even wanna come out tonight, my friends just dragged me along and put me in some ‘going out clothes’ that I don’t think I even have the confidence to wear alone in my dorm! And—“
You pause at his grinning face.
“I’m rambling, aren’t I? Sorry, I get nervous when I’m drunk. Did I already say that? I think I did. Anyway, I talk a lot when i’m nervous, and I don’t really know how to talk to guys in the first place. If I get too annoying just tell me to shut up and I will. I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the— I’m still going. Sorry.”
“No harm done. I quite like your nervous rambling.”
Your cheeks heat up.
“So what made you run for the hills to come out here?” he asks, standing up from the chair he was sitting on.
“I’m not really a party girl.”
“Yeah, I could’ve guessed that.”
You frown, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Not in a bad way!” he rushes out. “But you just.. are a jumpy person, like you said. Like a bunny. I’d be surprised if you went to parties every weekend on your own free will.”
And really— you have to laugh, because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m definitely not a party girl. And I am not the girl who wears this stuff. Not that it’s bad! But.. I’m just not.. comfortable in this,” you shrug, pulling at the short skirt.
The outfit your friends had picked out consisted of a white, very mini mini-skirt, a white cropped tank top, and some black heels. If the skirt was just a little longer, perhaps a little looser, you’d be fine. If you could at least cover up your belly button— you’d always hated it for no real reason except for the fact that, as embarrassing as it sounds, belly buttons freaked you out.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you look great,” he smiles.
You probably look like a tomato’s long lost sibling by now.
“Thank you.”
“But.. I also think you look great in pyjamas and bunny slippers and glasses and that little pout telling me my music’s too loud.”
“Hey!” You cross your arms.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he laughs as you try to smack his arm. “So, if you don’t like parties, why’re you here?”
“My friends wanted to go out,” you shrug. “I was done the second we got here.”
He pauses, as if mulling over a thought in his brain and you desperately want to know what, before he speaks, “D’you wanna go home, then?”
You blink at him, “What? I— I mean, yeah. I do, but I’m kinda drunk and all my friends are plastered—“
“I’ll drive you,” he cuts you off before you talk yourself up a wall. “Live next door t’ya anyway.”
“Really? I— are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he shrugs, “Wouldn’t have offered if I was. Let’s get y’out of here.”
-
The trip to the car took far longer than necessary, mainly because you ran into your friends doing shots and got sucked into one more round, which turned into ten more rounds.
By the time you were done, Harry was half carrying you out. He’d long since looped your arm around his shoulders, and his own arm around your waist as you stumbled towards the car.
“Alright,” he sighed once the two of you finally reached the car. “In you get, love.”
You can’t even stop yourself from grinning ridiculously as he helps you get in the passenger seat and buckle.
He shuts your door and slides into the driver’s seat. You stare at him. He smiles, but doesn’t call you out.
He turns on the radio, and you gasp. “I love this song!”
“Do you, now?” he laughs, and it’s almost teasing. Or, perhaps, it is, and your brain is too fogged up to comprehend that.
“Yes!” you exclaim, turning up the volume as Cruel Summer blasts through his car.
“I’m drunk in the back of the car! And I cried like a baby comin’ home from the bar! Oh, oh!” you sing, extremely off key.
“Quite the singer,” he comments.
“Said I’m fine, but it wasn’t true! I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you! And I snuck in through the garden gate—“
-
“You’re pretty,” you comment as Harry helps you up the stairs.
“You think so?”
“Yeah. You have nice eyes. And hair. Your hair’s really soft.”
“Don’t think you’ve ever touched my hair, so I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion, babe.”
You grin. Babe. “It looks soft. Duh.”
“Oh, of course. Duh.”
You think he’s teasing you, but you don’t care to tease back or get offended.
“Alright. Where’re your keys?”
“My keys! They’re… with Daisy.”
“No spares?”
“No,” you pout. “Do I have to sleep in the hallway?”
“No, ‘course not,” he shakes his head, pausing. “Ehm.. new plan. Gonna set you up in my bed, yeah? That okay?”
You nod with a hum.
He moves you one door over and fumbles with the key before finally pushing the door open.
“Bed’s right here, love. In you get, c’mon.”
He helps you sit down on the bed, and you rest your head against the wall.
“Hey, hey— don’t sleep yet.”
“Why?” you whine.
“Gotta get you comfy,” he explains, tugging your shoes off. He quickly goes to the dresser before pulling out pants and a shirt.
“You need help changing?”
You frown and nod.
“Alright. I won’t look, love. Promise.”
True to his word, Harry turns you around so your back is to him as he helps you get out of the tank top. He quickly slips the t-shirt over it.
He lays you down on the bed and slaps a hand over his eyes as he pulls your skirt down and helps you into the pants.
“Alright.. better, yeah?”
You nod, lying on the pillow. He helps you under the covers that smell like him and gives you an extra blanket.
“M’kay. Gonna sleep on the top bunk, yeah? Just say my name if y’need me.”
“Thank you,” you mumble.
“‘Course.”
He moves to walk away, but— “Wait, Harry—“
He turns back to you, “What’s wrong?”
You lift a hand up and run it through his hair. “I was right. It’s soft.”
He laughs.
“Go to bed, babe.”
“Sir, yes, Sir.”
He knew you’d probably be embarrassed in the morning, but he wouldn’t tell you that he enjoyed how touchy you got when drunk.
You didn’t plan on telling him that you’d slightly sobered up on the drive home and just played the drunk bit up as an excuse.
And your keys were in your purse.
-
a/n: YAYYYY COLLEGE AU HARRY!!!
429 notes · View notes
jinwoosbabyboo · 17 days
Text
Moments Posts - Sylus
Random posts on the TL w/ Boyfriend Sylus ft. the crow twins
misshuntermc
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♥️ liked by talkthat_tara, thing2_kieran, skye.109 and 101k others
misshuntermc: somebody got us kicked out I won’t name any names though….
tagged: thing1_luke
comments
skye.109: I told you not to bring them with us
↳ misshuntermc: coming from the person who used his evol to get a perfect score ↳ skye.109: no proof
thing2_kieran: What’s a guy gotta do to get credit for a pic 🙄
↳ misshuntermc: control your brother ↳ things2_kieran: nvm 😁
skye.109: I will buy you your own arcade so we don't have this problem
↳ thing1_luke: can I get one ? ↳ skye.109: don't piss me off
skye.109
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♥️ liked by misshuntermc, liiisa_, imjenna and 51.2k others
skye.109: She looks good enough to eat
tagged: misshuntermc
comments
misshuntermc: is that a promise or a threat?
↳ skye.109: come find out ↳ misshuntermc: 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
talkthat_tara: this man posts once a month and its always his girl who wants to jump off the 5th floor with me??
↳ thing1_luke: wait for me 🏃🏻 ↳ thing2_kieran: lets do the 25th floor instead ↳ misshuntermc: 🙄 can you three stop ↳ skye.109: let them hate
liiisa_: oh my gosh mc you look so hot 🥵
↳ misshuntermc: just trying to be like you babes 😉
skye.109
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♥️ liked by misshuntermc, thing1_luke, thing2_kieran and 47k others
skye.109: I tried to persuade her to call out of work today
tagged: misshuntermc
comments
misshuntermc: update I went to work guys
↳ liiisa_: you're a better person than me ↳ imjenna: I would've called out ↳ talkthat_tara: suddenly im sick as hell 🤒 ↳ misshuntermc: JENNA??? 🥴
thing2_kieran: I broke my back carrying all those bags just for her to abandon us
↳ thing1_luke: I will never emotionally recover from this 🫠
misshuntermc: why does no one want me to work???
↳ skye.109: you should've called out ↳ talkthat_tara: you should've called out ↳ liiisa_: you should've called out ↳ imjenna: I'll approve your sick time call out next time
skye.109
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♥️ liked by misshuntermc, imjenna, nene.nero and 34.4K others
skye.109: She doesn't know this private jet is under her name
tagged: misshuntermc
comments
misshuntermc: IM SORRY?????
↳ thing1_luke: she knows now ↳ skye.109: surprise sweetie 😘
nene.nero: cries in broke bitch 🥲
liiisa_: is that offer to jump off a building still on the table?
↳ talkthat_tara: girl im coming to pick you up we can hold hands
thing2_kieran: lord I've seen what you've done for others 🙏🏼
↳ misshuntermc: you're basically his son ... you're rich by association ↳ thing2_kieran: I didn't get a private jet ↳ skye.109: and you never will
311 notes · View notes
ladcedes · 7 months
Text
controversial!
summary f1 heartthrob lando norris starts dating a hot, up-and-coming celebrity with a not-so-hot personality and some fans protest…
disclaimer reminder this is completely fictional!!! the “faceclaim” (very loosely) may be rachel zegler but in no way am i basing it off her personality!!! no hate to her at all i love her sm
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the tweet:
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comments
user-1 isn't this lando norris' new gf
user-2 no way she's featuring on a DRAKE album 💀💀
yourusername
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Liked by bellahadid and 223,449 others
yourusername one thing about me and red carpets... i'll always be serving cunt ❤️‍🔥
view all 442 comments
hunterschafer yess always serving the best looks
bairdballad absolute icon!!
(liked by lando norris)
⤷ bairdballad wtf lando liked this
⤷ snowangel @.bairdballad lando is so real for that
landonorris always a stunner
⤷ yndefender so can we take this as confirmation that they're together
⤷ ynmyloves @/yndefender if this isnt confirmation idk what is 💀
ln4life her language is so vulgar why would lando be with her
⤷ futuref1w4g ikr she's such a bad influence
⤷ angelyns icb you actually said vulgar 💀 lando norris is a fully grown!! BRITISH!! man!!
⤷ milcedes @.ln4life @.futuref1w4g average instagram comments...
lewishamilton 👏👏👏
⤷ ylnstars LEWIS??? lando you better get tf up
⤷ ultraviolenced ariana what are you doing here
2007wdc we should expect lando of all drivers to be with a girl like her most tbf
⤷ 9thwdc aside from lewis
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lando.jpg
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tagged: yourusername
Liked by daniel3.jpg and 342.112 others
lando.jpg and that marks the end of the 2023 season ✨
view 4 comments
yourusername not a single pic of my face yet you tag me... someone tell him that's not how soft launches usually work
⤷ lando.jpg @.yourusername who says i'm trying to do a soft launch
⤷ yourusername @.lando.jpg you showed me hundreds of other 8K HD pictures of me with my face and only post faceless ones?
⤷ lando.jpg @.yourusername maybe i'm just gatekeeping your face
⤷ yourusername @.lando.jpg it's ok lan, you can stop trying to cover up your loser soft launch attempt, i'll still love you
comments have been disabled
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yourusername
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tagged landonorris
yourusername cheers to the haters 🥂 he still loves me xx
3 December 2023
view 316 comments
georgerussell63 @ landonorris Your gf is scary help
landonorris you tell em babe
norrislclrc queen behaviour i say
ln4life can’t believe he’d get with you
⤷ ynloml and? you think he’d ever look in your direction?
⤷ ynvfx literally get a life how are you still out here yapping about them even on insta??
ladcedes using this "comment" as an author's note! this is so scuffed im sorry i started it back in early december planning to do more for it but i got busy and atp just wanted to get it done 😭
⤷ ladcedes so for anyone confused about the drake album randomly being there… yeah…
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quickstappen · 2 months
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track 001: end of the beginning
A/N: hello, welcome to another smau i guess, enjoy? this is the real reason why the latest part of carved my name was up so late yall ;) oscar won his first race and i had to do something!! i'm sorry to all the carlos fans, but someone's gotta be the bad guy, yk?
masterlist | next
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december 2020
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liked by prema_team, arthur_leclerc and others
paola_sainz I can't believe it is time to go, it still doesn't feel real. Thank you for those amazing years together, for the memories and happiness, I couldn't wish for better team, better friends, I love you all and I'll miss you tremendously. Cheers to the next chapter in our lives.
see all comments...
prema_team We'll miss you vice-champ! Make sure to visit when you're around ❤️
↳ paola_sainz of course! I'll visit so much you'll get sick of me ;)
sainzssss_ noooooooo, what???
shithappens what. the. fuck.
carlossainz55 Excited for your new journey! Now you can spend more time in my garage 🔥😎
↳ paola_sainz yeah, im so excited too!
↳ quickstappen this seems... dry
↳ albono_23 right???
ilpredestinatox oh noo! you were the reason i decided to follow my dreams and go to college for mechanical engineering, i can't believe you're not gonna be racing anymore
↳ paola_sainz oh sweetie, i'm so glad you're following your dreams! dm me if you have any enfeneering problems - i can ask around and get back to you ;)
↳ nyoomf1 she's so sweet 🥹
arthur_leclerc I'll miss your annoying face you know? (only a tiny bit)
↳ paola_sainz acting like you won't see me at basically every race anyway (i'll miss you too) 🤍
↳ arthur_leclerc 🤍
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february 2024
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liked by arthur_leclerc, jensonbutton and others
paola_sainz does it ever drive you crazy...?
3 years ago i was broken beyond recognition, i lost my purpose and will to carry on, i thought that without racing i was noone. to think that the same girl just sold out her first collection of athletic wear is absolutely crazy, i can't believe how far we've come and i can't wait to see what else we can do
see all comments...
carlando333 girl 💀💀
↳ ilpredestinatox what do you mean, tf
↳ carlando333 Carlos literally just lost his seat for next year
↳ ilpredestinatox well, this is not carlos' page is it? she's not his keeper, she's allowed to be her own person
cuddlyxricc can she like,, read the room?
byelandoo lol, she does not care about the ferrari drama AT ALL
carlove55 are you gonna comment on the carlos situation??
shithappens she looked so happy when she was racing 🥺 i still can't accept that i'll never see her in a f1 car
↳ quickstappen right??
arthur_leclerc i am going to model the next collection
↳ paola_sainz don't know if you've noticed, but i make WOMEN'S athletic wear
↳ arthur_leclerc you just don't want to see me slay
↳ paola_sainz do not say slay ever again
charlosp1 💀
spanishxbabe so Carlos means nothing to you?
jensonbutton So proud! Brittany loves her set 🧡
↳ paola_sainz 🧡
charles_leclerc Knew you could do it Lola 🤍
↳ paola_sainz thank you for believing in me Charlie 🤍
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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and others
paola_sainz oh baby, how good to see you again!
(also, charles_leclerc go and win me a race please, i don't know how many forza ferrari sempre's i have left in me)
see all comments...
shithappens i'm sorry, is that a man? with my wife?
quickstappen queen is back in paddock!
arthur_leclerc so the ones with me in them were not good enough to make it, but the random one with him tying you're shoelaces made it?
↳ paola_sainz guess so, try harder next time
screwderriaf1 she's so real for that, Charles for WDC2024
↳ ilpredestinatox GIRL, be so fr rn
↳ screwderriaf1 just let me dream man
carlando333 oh come on! she doesn't care about carlos at all! fucking snake, thinking she's better than him🐍
logansargeant nice of you to visit old friends
↳ paola_sainz we're literally going for lunch tomorrow?
↳ sheilaxf1 they know each other??
↳ lewibear yeahh, since her time at prema i'm pretty sure
charles_leclerc Yeah, no pressure right
↳ paola_sainz you know it ;)
charlosp1 did she really say that she wishes that charles won and not her brother who's fighting for his future this season 💀
redmilton Paola Sainz soft launching a white man in the year 2024 was not on my bingo card
cuddlyxricc sorry but first no comment on carlos' seat and now this? yeah no, not cool
elmatadorf1 traitor! rooting for charles when your brother lost his seat because of him 🐍
madi_races is my girlfriend in a relationship with a.... man??
predestined55 absolutely no honour, not surprised tbh after seeing who she hangs out with 🐍
darth_nando can we please stop mentioning Carlos in every comment section under her posts? it's so unnecessary
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paola's messages:
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YouTube, Screaming Meals | now playing:
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↳ 01:52s - - - > - 04:37s
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↳ 21:46s - - - > - 29:31s
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↳ 52:14s - - - >- 1:08:11s
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paola's messages:
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madi's radio: okay look, the text between Spanish speakers.... i do not know Spanish and putting entire conversations through google translate is not the best, so let's just pretend they're in Spanish, yeah?
click here to be added to the hiding in the seams taglist!
DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!
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starlightazriel · 25 days
Text
bee 9
series desc: modern best friends > lovers (fem reader) tattoo artist az
warnings: 18+, az acting crazy and toxic haha, arguing/angst, just the beginning of the groveling, simp behavior hahaha, drug/alcohol addiction, reader struggling, heart break, time jumps, aa, depression mess, az is literally falling apart at the seams, don't expect good decisions from reader lol she's hurting that's all ima say
a/n: wow I know I ain't shit this took me so long I'm sorry angst central too ik
wc: 3.8k
other parts can be found on my az masterlist <3
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nine
"Say the word Bee, I'll knock on his door and knock him out." His jaw was tight, eyes dark with the desire to inflict pain. Real pain, sometimes that side of Azriel scared me, these days it would only make my panties wet.
"Im fine Az," I wiped tears from my face with the back of my sleeve, my chest tightened slightly at his willingness to put himself at risk for my naivety. "Hes not worth it anyway," I added, trying desperately to swallow the lump in my throat.
"Well that youre right about. Tried to tell you he didnt deserve you," he pauses, his face looking displeased. There's a moment of silence and it made me wish I had the courage to fill it with my feelings for him. "Please stop looking so sad though. Bings will help," he smirks, trying the only way he knew how to lighten the mood, he held up his bong, already freshly packed. I sighed softly, letting a small smile tug at the corner of my lips despite the ache I felt in my chest.
"Yeah they might," I smirk a little bit, and take the bong from him, taking one of my little baby hits, I shove the bong back in his direction, coughing obnoxiously despite the small hit. Normally he would make fun of me, I figured he was sparing me the embarrassment in light of the current situation.
"I can kick his ass," he repeats and I just shake my head at him. I didn't doubt it either— when it came to me, Az didn't have any limits. He would go down swinging for me, no matter who it was.
Thinking back on that memory... It made me feel sick, that now he was the one to hurt me.
I had made the mistake of trusting Azriel too much. I knew better. I knew he wasn't ready for this and still I let myself live in some little fantasy world for weeks. And now... Now I was dealing with the consequences.
My heart was shattered.
Incomparable to my insignificant couple of break ups in the past... This was so much worse.
Az... My Az. Maybe not my Az after all.
He clearly couldn't even handle a relationship.
Or maybe... The alternative made my stomach sink.
Maybe he knew the entire time that he was moving and he was just passing the time until he did? Az wouldn't do that... Would he?
You can know someone forever... As soon as there are drugs involved... Well, nothing is guaranteed.
It seemed to be just as hard for me to admit that he had a problem than it was for him. I hated it, but this pain— it made me see things more clearly, see him more clearly.
I couldn't bring myself to block him. I did have to turn my phone off for a while because not picking up was just becoming hard. 39 missed face time calls, 12 missed regular calls, and a handful of text messages that I was leaving on read.
baby please just talk to me
i'm so sorry shit was so fucking stupid
please come home
bee i swear i'll come over there and drag you out of that house by your hair
you know i didnt mean that
im sorry
i need you bee, don't shut me out
just talk to me
i'll stop drinking so much i'll do whatever please just fucking talk to me
cass is a fucking idiot nothing happened i swear baby i didn't fuck anyone.
The messages were spaced out minutes between some, hours between others. I couldn't help myself when I typed out a reply to the last one.
how do you know you didn't fuck anyone? do you even remember? You were getting your fucking grind on with a random ass bottle girl. or maybe she wasn't random lol who fucking knows with you. and you had your face in tits Az. Tits. WERE TOUCHING YOUR CHEEKS. AND YOU WERE SMILING LIKE YOU LOVED EVERY FUCKING SECOND. AND I BET YOU DID CUS YOU LOOKED HIGH OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND.
It was only seconds before he read it and was typing.
i didn't fuck anyone. i only want you. i'm just a dumbass. bro please do not do this shit to me. i will do ANYTHING to make this up to you that's on literally everything.
And another one.
you don't have a choice anyway and i swear if i catch you outside with any of these mother fuckers yo youre both done
And another.
its not a threat its a warning don't play with me
I groaned in frustration and tossed my phone to the side. It was all so... Exhausting. My chest quite literally hurt. And the audacity, please don't do this to him?
He did this to us.
And why the fuck did he think he owned me? I hated that it made my heart flutter— bottle girls, titties, Vegas. I reminded myself.
Sick.
I had confessed everything to my mom the first day I had came back to my parents house, which in hindsight I wished I hadn't. Knowing me... I would be back in Azriels bed within days of being back, my cheeks burned at the thought. No matter what he did, it didn't change the way I now knew how he could make me feel.
She had always loved Az, since day one... He had practically been a part of our family at one point, joining our family dinners every night, even my dad and him had a certain respect for each other. 'Some people are just better off as friends,' was my mom's response to the whole ordeal. Maybe she was right, but I didn't like it, not now.
How could we go back to that?
Was it possible to go back to that?
-
The stress, the heaviness of my heart... I couldn't stop myself from swiping a cig from my dad's secret stash in the garage. I was now sat on the rocking chair on my parent's front porch, debating on what I was going to do when I returned home. I had to go soon, it had already been weeks now I was starting to dip into my old wardrobe.
I had been commuting to class even though it was much farther than Azriel's apartment. I just didn't know what to say when I saw him. I didn't even know how to bring up the fact that I knew he was moving. Did he plan on telling me? What had been his plan for my living situation if he didnt have the apartment anymore? Had he even thought about it?
"So you're smoking now?" his voice causes me to jump, my heart nearly leaping from my chest as my head snaps to Azriel who's standing there, one hand shoved in his pocket other hand gripping a small bouquet of flowers. Scarred fingers against delicate stems, my cheeks turned pink remembering what he had done to me with those fingers. That feeling soon turned to anger remembering what he else he had done, he's frozen now, maybe half way up the stone path leading to my parents front door.
"Jesus Az what the fuck?" I breathed out, exhaling a shaky breath, my tone laced with a venom I had never used with him before. "You scared the fuck out of me, what are you even doing here?"
"You know what I'm doing here," his voice is soft but slightly strained, my stomach twists at the pain I can feel, radiating off of him. I didnt know how he did that, he was always able to change the air around me— like I was so hyper aware of him that I could sense his feelings.
"Az-"
"I love you," he cuts me off, my breath hitches, his cheeks are slightly pink, hand still shoved into his pocket. I set the burning cigarette down on the can beside me, I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat.
So long.
I had waited to hear those words for so fucking long. And now, here, under these circumstances— it didnt feel how I imagined it would. It didnt feel how it was supposed to.
"I love you too Azriel you know I do but I-"
"But what? You dont want me because Im so fucked up right?" His voice drops slightly, his throat bobbing and I noticed his grip tighten on the bouquet in his hand. His face was soft— pained, and my heart cracked again, remembering that boy so many years ago bruised and bloody with that same heartbroken face of betrayal, and now I had done that to him. "Im sorry, Im so fucking sorry please—"
"I didn't say that," I mumbled, my heart felt like it was bleeding in my chest, like there would be nothing left once he walked away. He didn't dare to step closer. "I just- I need some time Az," I mumbled softly and he closed his eyes for a minute before tugging at his hair, huffing out a frustrated breath. He looked like he would get down on his knees for me, like he would beg me if I asked him to.
"I know what that means Bee," he huffs out another small breath, his face slowly contorting into that hard cold stare I knew him to hide behind. "Anyway," he breaths out, looking away from me. "I'm going to change your mind, we—" he struggles again before giving up, I could see his eyes were bloodshot as he got closer, dark circles prominently underlining them. "Here," he finally says, he shoves the bouquet in my hand, there was an envelope taped to the side of it with my name on it.
"I'm coming home soon Az," I mumble, though, I didn't even know if I was ready for the conversation the two of us would be having. "I told you we could talk then," I add and he sighs, stepping back off of the porch.
"I'll see you soon then," he muttered softly and just shrugged his shoulders, I could tell he wanted to run to me... He wanted to wrap me in his arms and kiss me. He wanted to strangle me also— I could see that too, that deep rooted need for control, to make me see things his way. I couldn't blame him— it stemmed from years of physical abuse, traumas I would never truly be able to understand.
"Go home Az. Goodnight, thank you, for the flowers," is the last thing I say before walking back inside shutting the door behind me, in his face. I didnt watch him walk away, that short conversation had been painful enough. I put the flowers in some water and tore open the mini envelope despite how angry I was with him.... Seeing him, made me crave him so much more.
'I could lose every single thing I have in this world but I can't lose you. I miss you. Please stop shutting me out. I can't take much more of this Bee.'
His handwriting was rushed— desperate messy scrawl, guilt twisted in my gut. I couldn't help it... I had nothing to feel guilty about and yet... Imagining him alone, needing me, missing me... Enough to buy flowers and scribble out a little note. More than I'd ever seen him do for any other woman.
I couldn't fall for it.
My chest tightened and tears welled up in my eyes. Why did he have to fuck everything up? It had been so perfect. Leave it to a fucking man to ruin everything.
-
Azriel swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as he stared blankly in front of him at all of the faces looking back at him. His palms were sweaty, ears hot with embarrassment and he couldn't stop tapping his foot. He had opted not to get up and stand at the front, feeling much more secure in his seat toward the back of the room.
"Hi, uh, my name is Azriel, I'm twenty five, and Im um— Im an alcoholic," it was the first time he'd ever said it out loud, it tasted horrible on his tongue. "I've um I've been addicted to drinking alcohol probably for about ten years- Got me into other- shit and I'm here today because I fell in love with my best friend and um- I don't want to lose her. Never tried to quit drinking before— never really believed I had a problem but— yeah, here I am," his voice had gotten quieter as he finished and he realized he was rambling. His cheeks burned, he hated all the eyes on him, hated that he was the center of attention. And he was craving a line, bad.
His introduction was followed by many 'Hi Azriels,' which only made him feel more uncomfortable. They tried to make him feel welcome, tried to relate to him— get him to open up. He thought he might explode but he listened though. He listened to each and every persons story that shared. And when it was over the leader gave him a small white chip, service, unity, recovery. A pledge to a new beginning, toward sobriety.
He sighed and shoved it into his pocket, he was sitting on the step now, to go coffee cup in his hand, black obviously. Isn't that what recovering alcoholics did? Drink black coffee and smoke cigarettes?
"Can I bum one?" a male voice asks and next thing he knows he's sitting down next to him, he was a bit older, maybe 40.
"Sure," he mutters and pulls a cigarette from the pack and extends it to him, he recognized him from inside the meeting.
"It's Max, if you didn't catch it in there."
"Azriel," he mumbles, looking straight ahead at the cars passing by. He didn't know how to feel. He didn't want to get sober. But he needed Bee. He couldn't lose her, after getting a taste? He couldn't handle not having her again. He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"You need a sponsor?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, Azriel shrugs, the new sobriety coin felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket. The anxiousness... The insatiable desire to rid himself of any of his uncomfortable feelings by doing a line and buying a bottle... How the hell was he supposed to stay sane?
"You going to be my sponsor?"
"First things first, don't wear a cocaine vile around your neck to an AA meeting."
-
I was quiet, careful when I slowly pushed open the door to Azriels apartment, my apartment too, I guess. Not for long.
It didn't feel like home anymore— the sickening feeling that twisted in my gut as I took a step inside. It was quiet, he wasn't home... Fucking filthy. There was pizza boxes and take out containers, ash everywhere, multiple ash trays made from various things, there were unfinished cigs and blunts everywhere that made it smell awfully of cigarettes and stale weed. Cocaine residue and half crushed pills were out on the coffee table like it was normal. I swallowed thickly, a soft breath leaving my lips I knew I shouldn't feel guilty, shouldn't feel bad that he obviously wasn't okay... But I did, I just left him. Never, never had I ever done that to Azriel. I was the one constant in his life, the one person who was always there. Ever since that day in front of my house all those years ago.
Titties, bottle girls, moving to Vegas. I reminded myself, my stomach turned again. So angry. Fucking idiot.
I entered the kitchen for a glass of water, needing something to calm that sick feeling. The bile that rose in my throat that felt like I was about to hurl everything I ate for the past three days. I thought better of it quickly, before I consumed anything from this rancid kitchen I would need to deep clean and disinfect.
Dirty dishes in the sink, the dishwasher hanging open half loaded still with clean dishes like he had just been taking them from there and hadn't bothered to put anything away, empty liquor bottles overflowing from the small recycling bin, more take out containers, a bong tipped over, the foul smelling water from it still dripping off of the counter, a small puddle of brownish water collected on the white tile.
What the fuck?
My room was the only room that didnt smell like bong water and cigarettes, but still, he had been in here. Maybe even slept in here. Papers covered the floor, not just papers but drawings. There were drawings of me everywhere. Just me, me naked, him and I together, kissing, fucking, our hands intertwined— there were even drawings of us when we were younger. A little messy, like he had been pressing down so hard— drawing with such emotion that he kept breaking his utensil of choice that day.
I let out a soft sob, my hand flying to cover my mouth.
Fuck.
Kat. I needed Kat.
I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat again and pulled my phone out to check her location. Of course she was at the shop.
-
"Hey," the bells chime softly as I walk into the shop, there was no one in the waiting room besides Kat and she looked up from her phone, our eyes locking.
"Heyyy baby," she greets, flashing me a smile that soon turns into a frown, her eyebrows drawing together. "Are you good?"
"No," I loosed a shaky breath, advancing to the counter, I leaned against it like I had so many times, but my chest was fucking aching. It was so fucking infuriating that nothing felt the same, nowhere felt the same. I guessed this was what heart break really felt like, seeing the world in every color one day and then black and white the next. "Is he here?" I dropped my voice lower, playing with one of the knick knacks on the desk to distract myself.
"No, he left a while ago, didnt say where he was going," she's still frowning, the worried look still plastered on her face.
"The house Kat?" I paused, making a face. "It's fucking disgusting, I don't understand how hes living like that," my harsh words could have only been brought on by anger, she softens, her look turning more sympathetic which annoys me only, I ignore it.
"He hasn't been the best at work either— snapping on everyone, late every day and fucked up," she lets out a small sigh, "Rhys is fucking pissed," she pulls her lip between her teeth.
"Fuck Rhys, honestly," I mutter quietly, she raises an eyebrow in response but I only ignore it. Of course, none of this was his fault, but still Vegas. Why fucking Vegas? "It's my turn to get fucked up, anyway, that's why I'm here I bought a bottle to pregame, just needed my bitch and one of her miniskirts," my words are met with a grin.
"Babes you know I got you."
-
I hadn't been drunk in a while, so to say the least I was enjoying myself. The pounding of the music, talking to strangers, dancing with Kat. I had needed all of this.
To slip out of my mind for a few hours and just let go.
Kat was definitely enjoying herself now too, and was dancing with some tall sexy man she had just met. I was keeping to myself for the most part, on the edge of the dance floor, swaying my hips to the music as I surveyed the scene with a fuzzy mind.
My mouth popped open in slight surprise and when I felt curiosity instead of the desire to leave immediately, I knew I had drank too much. There was Eris, in all his jewelry and expensive clothes, looking poised and composed as always. Long pale ringed fingers wrapped around a glass of amber liquid. I hadn't seen him since the night we shared.
"You ghosted me princess."
"I had other things going on— and I didnt finish," I smile boredly, not meeting his gaze, it must have been the liquor making me so bold, he scoffs slightly his eyebrows raising in surprise.
"Let me buy you a drink then, to make up for it, must have been an off day for me," he inquires, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction that my body was basically broken with anyone except for Azriel, I would let him believe it was his fault. His ego could be taken down a peg, anyway.
"I have one already," I raise it up slightly, smirking as I swirl the liquid around in the cup.
"Not anymore," in a swift motion he takes the glass from my hand and dumps the drink in a near by plant, a fake plant. I squeaked, looking around to see if anyone else had witnessed it.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? It's fake and you just filled it with liquor and juice! Have you even heard of a fruit fly?" I demanded, swaying a bit on my feet, liquor buzzing through my veins. If anyone did that at my bar, I scoffed slightly at the thought staring him down judgmentally for his utter carelessness.
"It's fake, so the liquor won't kill it," he flashed me his insufferable sexy grin before adding "there's wins and losses to every decision we make," his eyes flashed and I stopped for a moment, weighing those words.
No, I can't get caught up in this. I had to figure out what was going on with Azriel and I. "And now you don't have a drink and I get to buy you one, so I win, Im not really concerned nor do I care about any of the losses. Besides, I only ever come here looking for you, so I don't care if they get fruit flies." That cocky smirk he wore, the way he carried himself... He did look good. That piercing gaze, the confidence that radiated off of him along with his expensive dizzying cologne.
I remembered what Az had said about him 'theres a lot of people that would kill him in this city' hearing his words echo in my head, knowing how much he hated that I'd been with Eris... I swallowed, my cheeks turning pink.
Az didnt care when he was fucked up, when he was smushing his face between those two bottle girls titties he didnt think about me at home— waiting for him.
So I wouldn't care now.
I didnt think about him, I didnt think about what it would do to him when I wrapped my fingers up into Eris expensive shirt and yanked his tall frame down to me.
"Wins and losses you say?" I whisper before pressing a kiss to his lips.
-
a/n: cliffhangerrr only time and comments will tell if yalll are mad about this drama HAHA sorry I had to drag the groveling out into multiple parts Az WILL be on his KNEES in the near future
taglist <3: @smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta @honk4emoboyz @bookishbishhh @dakotali @blessthepizzaman @scooobies
IF ANYONES TAG DIDNT WORK IM SO SORRY
211 notes · View notes
stsgooo · 8 months
Note
moonlit goddess.... maybe jinshi is wondering why his dear maid continues to pull away from him... and maybe gao shun lets it slip that "they shouldn't have been close that day anyway".... and jinshi pesters him until he folds n explains.... IDK I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THOSE TWO :((((( (not forced ofc!! i jus love ur writing!)
Bridge the Gap.
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✩࿐ summary: life and death really makes a girl wonder.
warning(s): idiots in love, chapters 61-65 manga spoilers, master/servant like relationship, description of near drowning, suggestive content, ambiguous ending. wc; 9.3k
pairing(s): jinshi/fem!reader.
a/n: tysm for reading my fics means the world to hear ppl actually enjoy them, anon!!! ;') i wasn't really going to make a 2nd part of moonlight goddess as i thought it was okay to leave off there, but i love jinshi sooo i'll take any excuse to write him. this was initially going to be a part 2 of clumsiness, but i figured my plans worked better with what you were envisioning! im not entirely sure how to feel about this, but i hope this lives up to the standards! i apologize for any mistakes, this was written mostly in the early mornings when i had time!
part i. m.list
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"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"
"Y/N, please, stop asking me that."
"Oh, yes. My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry."
This were, admittedly, not going well. Both of you soaked, hair dripping, and standing in the cave behind a rapid waterfall, and a dull ache in your chest as you recovered. Partly your fault, partly the fault of some crazed marksman that was hiding in the forest, trying to slaughter Jinshi and, by proxy, you.
To understand how you two ended up in this situation, we would have to back up a bit.
"Oh? Y/N, I didn't know you'd be attending this as well?"
"It was a last minute switch with Suiren and I."
"You... enjoy these hunts?"
"I've done everything I could to avoid them in the years past."
Your lack of excitement was apparent and clear. It appeared to bring no ease of mind to Maomao who dragged her rather disgusted eyes from you towards Gaoshun. The older man just kept his attention on the moving scenery outside, a distant glaze over his eyes.
Maomao obviously wasn't optimistic. Just like you. You were almost proud that she had caught on so easily.
The sweltering heat outside seemed to seep into the carriage, cooking you alive in your rather formal wear. Something that you were spotted in far and few, having been years that you truly cleaned yourself prim and proper. You had been on the edge of declining even going when Jinshi, with a grin and a certain glitter in his eyes, had too happily informed you that it was a direct invitation from Shishou.
Your fate had been sealed.
Maomao peeked at you from the corner of her eye, head tilted, "Do you mind me asking why you avoided these events?"
You don't even spare her a glance, "I fear if I spoke my honest opinion, I'd stain Jinshi-sama's reputable name with my foul mouth." You reply flatly in return.
"Please don't." Gaoshun said softly from his seat, looking particularly tired.
You decided to ignore the slump of Maomao's shoulders as if disappointed by the swift interruption and decline on Gaoshun's part. Turning your eyes towards the shifting world outside.
It'd been exactly five months since Jinshi had danced under the moon and you came to the conclusion that any impure thoughts you held for your master would be safely tucked away in the back of your mind (and heart). Forever your secret. Only to be heard in your dreams and upon your death, when you repent for any ill thoughts to the Great Man above.
Everything had returned to its normal routine. You would get up in the morning, prepare breakfast alongside Suiren, eat, then proceed with any chores the woman gave you for the rest of the day, then repeat. Equally, your relationship (or lack thereof) with Jinshi had remained the same. Conversations filled with pleasantries. Simple things that had always lingered between the two of you since you were children. Pleasant and simple. As the world shall ever be.
It got a bit ruffled with Jinshi had cornered you and practically ordered that you come to the hunt instead of Suiren.
In the middle of scrubbing away at the floors, he had found you. Stood above you with that grin, “Y/N, you’re one of my most loyal servants, hm?” He’d begun with an inflection in his tone that made you horribly hesitant.
You had faltered in your scrubbing to stare up at him with confusion, “Uh…well, I suppose, Jinshi-sam’s.”
“Why don’t you join me for the Hunt this up coming week?”
Your had heart dropped. And, by the look Gaoshun had dawned, his had too. The Hunt, in your humble opinion, was a glorified weekend for the men in high positions to rub one off while killing animals. It wasn’t something you found interesting in or much grace. That’s why you had declined Suiren’s question on whether or not you’d like to take her place only three days prior. You had no interest in watching anyone, even Jinshi, size each other up while a defenseless animal bled.
“Jinshi-sama, I believe Suiren—“
Ever the gentleman, he had cut you off, “No worries, Suiren agreed to take over matters while you’re gone! She’s the sweetest, right?” He had appeared all to eager and all too himself for you to ignore.
So, with a heavy heart, you’d sighed, accepting defeat and his invitation.
Now, you would find your torture for a multiple day retreat with a bunch of men with their c—
The carriage came to an abrupt halt, bringing an unruly end to your thoughts as you all carefully exited and were greeted by the sunshine. The humid air heavy with the condensation of the area and already making a sweat appear on your brow. But, ever the lady, you pleasantly tuck your hands into your sleeves and follow behind Gaoshun and Basen.
You were a little surprised as Maomao stuck closely to your side; but not all too surprised to find her attention on your surroundings, vague surprise in her eyes. The area was as equally as beautiful as it was a burden to you.
The buildings weren't anything for you to revel at. Spending an entire lifetime within palaces and in buildings as equally or above standard to those, it just wasn't anything special. The nature surrounding the area, however, was something to stare in awe at. Lucious trees, beautiful grass, and beautiful array of plants and flowers. It almost made you regret all the time you had spent away from this place.
But it wasn't like you had the chance to truly return since the last time you were here. Nothing could bring back that little girl.
You deterred your thoughts away as Gaoshun slid the door open. Immediately, you were hit with a wave of heat that you made you tense up. It was apparent that you wouldn't find your much needed cool down you were desperate to find since you were confined in the carriage days prior.
You were the last to enter and when you did, you faltered at the sight before you.
Jinshi was sprawled across the couch, wisps of his dark hair framed his sweat glistened face, eyes closed in contempt. A small dent appeared between his eyebrows and a frown adorned his face. However, your attention was caught on a drop of sweat that made its way from his hairline, down his cheek, his jaw, his long slender neck, and past his— his collar.
His modesty was of no worry, apparently, as he laid with his robes parted open to reveal his chest. Itself was glistening with sweat. Delicate skin on showcase for all to see. It brought a soft blush to your cheeks, as you blatantly ogled him. Pressing your lips together to contain whatever thoughts you had about him from burst from your seams.
"Y/N," Jinshi's voice hit your ears, tender and smooth. You're suddenly hyperaware that he's staring at you with raised brows, lids peeked open to stare at you.
You straighten your back and offer a bow, "Jinshi-sama. Do you require anything?" You had to get it together. It was inappropriate to behave in such a scandalous way. "Request for ice? Tea?"
Jinshi shook his head, sitting up, "No, rather I'd like for you to rest after such a long journey."
You falter, your arms wavering from their position in front of your face, "Uh.... Wouldn't the room be more tolerable with some ice?" You spare a glance around the room and grimace. The windows are shut tight, only bits of sun peeking through the cracks. Basen looks rather miserable, but trying to appear his usual stern self. While Gaoshun and Maomao seem rather okay with showcasing their small discontent with the heat. A nice cube would help at least cool down a bit.
You also couldn't stand another second seeing Jinshi like that. As if he were some type of nymph testing your faith.
"Really, it's fine—" Jinshi attempted, but you were already turning on your heel.
"I will return with ice." You didn't miss the way Jinshi's face fell and his eyes cut to Gaoshun who shook his head in return.
Your fast paced adventure led you to the main hall, where people were moving in and out. Various officers and servants filled the area, finding their rooms or helping their masters and fellow officers to their own rooms. Everyone appeared to be feeling the heat as they wiped their brows. Much like you, they appeared to be attempting to defeat the heat.
You found your way towards an attendant who helped you get something situated for Kousen. Something that brought you both distaste and irritation. Something to be addressed at a later time.
Joy filled you as you turned around, ice would soon be in the room and you could crowd around it like it was a new lover.
As you were about to make your way back to the room, you ran into someone.
You were about to apologize when they whirled around and you let out an audibly sigh that conveyed your unwavering exhaustion for them.
"Hey, watch where— Oh, hey, " Lihaku blinked, kind face twisted up in vague recognition. “You’re that lady-in-waiting. What are you doing out here?”
“I’m on loan from Jinshi-sama,” you answered rather flatly, not missing the small frown accompanying the man’s face.
You were vaguely familiar with Lihaku. What with Maomao getting involved in the problems within the inner and rear palace, you were bound to make new acquaintances when she was dragging you around. Lihaku was the first one you had ran into. On orders to accompany the girl from Suiren, you had gotten to see her investigative skills firsthand. You were impressed, surely, when she had made the discovery about the potatoes. But the impression was overshadowed by Lihaku, who had spent the entire time chatting your ear off.
He was kind, handsome, and smart when it called for it. But you could tell that, like most officers, he had an airheaded vibe to him. One that deterred you from making things too complicated with him.
Friendly enough, and one of the few people that didn't seem to disinterest Maomao, you accepted his very vague and shadowed feature in your life.
"Well, that's nice of him." He said, clearly disinterested in where this conversation was going. "I'm glad to see a friendly face, though."
You offered a small smile, "As am I. Not many kind faces around here often."
"You can say that again." You hear a loud inhuman snort and a tug on your gown, taking a large step back, you look down. A large dog with drool leaking out from the sides of its mouth stared back at you. "Oh, hey, boy, no!"
"O-Oh my." You uttered, slightly breathless as you looked at the large beast.
Lihaku glanced at you, offering a withering smile, "Eh, sorry, he gets excited around new people— not a great trait in a dog like this, you would think, but he's a real gem. Just has his moments. Hey, now—"
Lihaku pulled out something metal and brought it to his lips, then blew. It emitted little to no sound, at least, any you could truly hear, making your perk up when the dog tilted his head and sat respectfully before the officer. He blew again and the dog laid. Again, and the dog stood on all fours.
You smiled softly, watching in wonder as it obeyed whatever silent orders it was getting from Lihaku.
"He's very smart." You observed as the dog sat down again.
"Right?" Lihaku beamed, "I can get him to come running from kilometers away if need be."
"Useful when you're in a bind."
"For sure!" Lihaku's demeanor reminded you of a proud father as he puffed his chest and looked distastefully towards the cages lined up outside. "He's real smart, yet they still want to use those birds in the end."
You didn't want to point out the various problems that could come with using a dog; as there were probably another list of various pros to actually use the dog. The hawks had been used for years and you doubt that some dogs would be taking their place any time soon. It'd probably be a long time before these arrogant men came to their senses and found better means. Despite dogs being loyal and determined to their cause, the hawk would always be chosen.
Or, the better alternative, they didn't do this hunt anymore.
But you knew that was a longshot.
It wasn't long after that you bid Lihaku a farewell and good luck on his duties, making your way back to the room. You exchanged pleasant smiles and greetings with familiar faces, but nothing that kept you from relaxing much longer.
When you returned to the room, everyone had found their own areas and activities to occupy themselves. Gaoshun and Basen were playing Go near the windows, Maomao was reclining on the floor where a sliver or air was flowing through (from where, you weren't completely sure). Jinshi was back to sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Something that was quickly disregarded as you gently closed the door behind you.
"The ice should be up soon." You informed the room with a respectful bow.
Jinshi didn't look at all interested, "What took you so long?" It sounded like contempt. Irritation if you had to really dig. Something that made you falter.
You look up and see the pout on his lips— childish, as always. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jinshi-sama. I happened to run into a friend and got caught up in conversation." You apologized softly. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him more annoyance and disturbance.
He straightened considerably, "A friend?"
You didn't like the way it was spoken. A touch of disbelief was enough for you to eye him with your own distaste. Even if you and Lihaku were nothing more than strangers with vague familiarity with one another.
"Yes, a friend." You confirmed with thin lips. Despite your inner voice telling you to reign in your attitude, you upturn your nose and decide to join Maomao— whose eyes were shooting between the both of you with trepidation and vague sympathy. "He was being kind."
Jinshi huffed, "I didn't know you had any secret friends."
"Not a secret. Just don't find any time to speak about it with you, Jinshi-sama."
That made the man falter, a darkened shadow over his face. "I suppose." He frowned heavily now, squinting at you with something unreadable. "Who is this friend of yours?"
You, finding no reason to lie, continued on, "Officer Lihaku."
In an instant, three heads snapped to you with varying degrees of emotions. Maomao looked shocked, but welcomed the information with a shrug. Gaoshun looked pale and overwrought, for whatever reason you weren't entirely sure, but you had an itching feeling it had to do with Jinshi.
The same Jinshi that was now face down on the couch, letting out a miserable sound. Speaking into the fabric of it all, unintelligiable. But you swore you heard something along the lines of— "that second rate, again?!" As he continued to rant and cry.
With that, you decided it best to not involve yourself with whatever Jinshi was battling. You wouldn't win anyway.
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You'd always hated Kousen-sama.
He almost always seemed to loom in the shadows. An masked man who held no personality or words of his own. Pleasantries offered out of necessity and not because that was simply the right thing to do. He was mysterious. He hardly appeared, but he was always there. A reminder for what things would return to one odd day. A symbol for exactly where your loyalties and master lied.
Kousen-sama was to always appear before others with his mask on. To avoid them seeing the ghastly sight of scars and blemishes that adorned his skin because of his sickness (whatever that may be) and spare him the indecency of stares. He was unmoving. Stone amongst he lively environment that ate away at their lunches and softly conversed with one another.
Prince. The respectable Kousen-sama. The great son of the empire. The brave prince against all odds.
Oh, how much you hate Kousen-sama.
But you still had woken up early to help him pin his hair back. To slip his robes on. To delicately place the mask on, fingering the bangs out through the slits to allow some type of familiarity. You were his confidant. His reliable and kind servant.
As always, you and Basen stood behind Kousen-sama with your backs straight and eyes ahead. A pleasant servant on loan and stern guard, you both were familiar faces against the unrecognizable figure in front of you. It reminded the people exactly who was before them. Exactly who had decided to grace their presence.
Still, it brought you discomfort.
You still eyed Gaoshun in the corner of you eye. The older man sat at the other end of the table. Maomao standing behind him with a distant look in her eyes, obviously not paying attention to the things happening around her. Not entirely surprising, but you felt the overwhelming urge to scold her for her lack in etiquette.
Oh, you're starting to think like Suiren, aren't you?
Suddenly, Basen is tensing up beside you and Kousen-sama is turning his head away from a scowling Shishou. Your eyes snap between the two with a scowl of your own. Whatever that man had said—
Kousen-sama's hand clenches. So tightly that his knuckles turn white and he shakes. You know something isn't right. You had missed something. Something so obvious and you were too concerned about Gaoshun.
The man stands from his chair, the legs loudly clattering against the tiled and stone floor. You watch uneasily as Kousen-sama raises, takes a moment to collect himself, then practically speeds away from the room. You don't waste a moment to bring your sleeve covered hands to your mouth and make your own exit.
As you pass a concerned Maomao and Gaoshun, you hear a barely uttered whisper from the girl— heat. Food.
You try to hide your confusion and worry as you follow behind your master.
It doesn't take you long to find him.
Down the path, up against a tree, the masked figure was hunched and obviously breathing heavily. You draw closer, outstretching a hand to gently press it against the large expanse of his back.
"Kousen-sama, are you quite alright?" You ask softly, hunching slightly to capture a glimpse of his eyes from that slit in the fabric.
When you do, you're almost breathless. His violet eyes are alight with something distant and scornful. Eyebrows furrowed as he meets your own gaze.
"Y/N...?" He sounded vaguely surprised under it all, breathless himself. As if he couldn't quite believe that you were here in front of him.
You nod once, reaching out and grabbing ahold of one of the ties keeping the mask all together. "I'm going to remove this. No one is around."
His hand is suddenly wrapped around your wrist. Not tight or unrelenting, but enough to make you freeze. Warm and clammy skin against your own to make you feel scorched. You don't need to see his entire face to know that his jaw was clenched now.
"I can't," he said in all his self-assuredness, "Someone might still come."
What a pain. You thought to yourself as you draw in a heavy breath.
You don't waste a second to slip under his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and allowing him to lean most of his weight against you. "No worries, sir, I'll just find us some place where no one else is around."
You gently guide Kousen-sama from the line of trees and deep within it. Finding an oddly familiar path created within your mind to follow that takes you towards an overflowing waterfall. A loud crash of water hitting the rocks and body of water below that brought you a distant sense of comfort. The refreshing smell of the water hits your nostrils and you take a deep breath.
With Kousen-sama against you, you felt the sweltering heat hit you tenfold. But the mist from the waterfall brushed against your skin like a gently caress from an old lover.
This is it.
You stumble over to one of the few trees next to the waterfall and gently guide Kousen-sama to sit up against it. The man took a heavy breath and you finally felt a little at ease. Reaching forward, you moved to take the cloth off once again and then—
A loud thud and chunks of dirt hit your cheek.
You frowned, looking to the ground only a could feet away and saw a small crater. A sharp smell filled your senses and you stiffened. It was an unkind and almost putrid scent. The smoke from the small crater was the main cause.
"Eh—?"
You were suddenly cut off as Kousen-sama wrapped his arms around you, jerking you upwards and away from the tree. You would've basked in the way his body was pressed against your back or the way his fingers seemed to mold into your abdomen— you would've if it weren't for the loud crack in the air then the pieces of bark that flew through the air around you.
The tree that he had been pressed up against only moments ago was now split open with a piece of metal imbedded into the wood. It looked eerily similar to the same that had been in the ground moments ago.
"Is that a feifa?!" His voice pierced through your thoughts, oddly frantic and uneasy as he moved quickly from the tree and towards the river.
You glanced up at him and found him already staring down at you. Eyes narrowed and, if it weren't for the mask, his entire face would be scrunched up in that familiar distaste and panic. Yet he seemed eerily calm as he dragged you through the trees and into the water.
"Sorry, but this is gonna get a bit dramatic." His voice was soft against your head, warm breath caressing your hair as he wraps a protective arm around your head.
Your eyebrows raise, "Dramatic— WHAT?" You should've known his tone and choice of his words were a warning for what was to come, but you were still caught off guard.
He gave no indication that he was going to jump off the cliff.
"Jinshi, you goddamn idiot!"
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You mustn't get ideas above your station.
The water was oddly clear. Even with the mix of the overflowing waterfall, under it all was peaceful and calm. Fishes and water like insects lived in harmony.
Cool and calm. Always.
You are there to serve your master.
The little boy's head burst from the water with a big grin, short hair flat against his head and dripping. The sun reflecting off his violet eyes and almost blinded the little girl curled up on the side shore. Her face set into a scowl, clothes drenched, and a looming unimpressed older man behind her.
"It's so nice out, why don't you come in!" Beckoned the boy from the water.
The little girl shot him a nasty look, "You know why, you jerk!"
The boy's grin faltered, tilting his head at his friend, "Eh? Why are you being mean?" His voice wavered on the ends, still just floating in the middle of the basin.
"I'm not mean! You're mean! You're the biggest meanie!" The little girl stood up to throw an accusatory finger at the boy, her sleeve heavy and uncomfortable as she moved.
The boy's face reddened, eyebrows scrunched together, "I'm not mean! You're mean!" He repeated.
"No, you are! You're the biggest meanie in the whole wide world!"
"No, you are!"
"You are! You pushed me into the water!"
"You are! You should swim!"
"I hope you drown, meanie!"
The boy's expression fell completely. A heartbroken glint in his eyes flooding them. His lips trembled. But, before he could do something like cry, he was already swimming deeper
Nothing less, nothing more.
"Now, now," a large hand rested on the little girl's shoulder and gently tugged her back, turning her around to face the man. He seemed to be trying to appear as tender as he could to try calm down the girl's high nerves. "No need to get angry."
"But, Gaoshun—" The little girl whined.
Gaoshun shook his head, patting her shoulder, "No, we don't argue. Try to forgive and forget, yeah?" He reminded the lessons that he'd attempted multiple times to teach the two children. "No reason to walk around with resentment for others, right?"
The little girl scoffed her shoe against the ground, a pout on her lips, "Do I have to, Gaoshun?" She knew what this would call for. Exactly how this would end for her.
The man heaved a sigh, nodding, "Yes, you do. Now, go reconcile. I'll wait here."
The girl faltered as the man raised to his full height, cupping his hands behind his back. She dragged her feet through the soft soil and found her way towards the boy once more. He was grasping onto the edge of the bank, sniffling and snorting. His shoulders shook and his face was stuffed into his arms.
The little girl frowned. "Um... Are you okay?"
The boy stiffened, not turning around as he answered, "No."
"I'm sorry, I said something real mean." The little girl uttered, stepping closer as she clutched her wet clothes. "I just... You pushed me into the water, I can't..."
"I thought you were my friend!" The little boy whirled around on her, face red and eyes filled with big tears. He looked enraged but incredibly disheartened. The girl blinks in return as the boy glares. "You say such mean things to me. Friends aren't supposed to be mean!"
The girl clenched her jaw, "You were mean to me first!" She accused.
The boy sniffled, wiping under his nose with his forearm. "You're my friend." He repeated as if that cleared up any anger.
Nothing more, nothing less.
The little girl slowly sat beside him, her feet dipping under the water. "It is nice." She whispered.
The little boy dragged his eyes upwards, looking hurt but hopeful. "Right?" he asked, equally as quiet.
"You're my friend too, Jinshi." The little girl nudge him with her leg.
Jinshi's eyes twinkled, wide and all too bright, "Really?"
"Really." The little girl confirmed with a toothless grin. "My friend forever and ever!"
Jinshi positively beamed, the water sloshing as he jumped happily. "Forever and ever, and ever!"
"And ever!"
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"It's no longer... appropriate for you and Jinshi-sama to be friends."
"I don't... I don't understand. He's my friend."
"His mother no longer finds it appropriate for you to concern yourself with Jinshi."
"But, Gaoshun—"
"No, Y/N. It's over. Come along. Suiren has a present for you."
"He's.... He's my friend...."
"I'm so sorry."
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You are to give your life to your master.
The woman paused, back pin straight, as she entered her master's office, finding him curled up in the corner, muttering nonsensically to himself. The guard of said master was watching on with a pitiful expression of his own, only breaking his eyes away when the woman entered the room. His expression only seemed to deepen.
She didn't need to ask. There was an unspoken understanding as to what their master's breakdown was regarding. The Apothecary. The one that had gotten the attention of everyone in the palace as of late. The one that had been causing her great grief as of late— and was about to create more.
"Jinshi-sama?" The woman called softly, stepping closer.
Jinshi's lifeless eyes continued to stare at the floor below him. A gentle rocking seeming to soothe himself from the rages of his mind. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Thank you, kindly." He uttered just as lifelessly.
The devoted servant's chest clenched. Her face flushed as she reached out a wavering hand. To place it delicately against his hunched back. To offer her best comforting words that she could. To distract him away from her.
Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.
She faltered. This wasn't her place. This wasn't a part of her duties unless Jinshi said so. Inappropriate behavior wasn't called for. It will be punished severly.
Retracting her hand, she stands, and offers a respectful bow. "Please call me if you need anything, Jinshi-sama." And left him in his dark corner.
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"Gaoshun, may I ask you something?"
"Of course, Jinshi-sama."
"You have been in my life for as long as I can remember. You remember more than I possibly could about my younger years. Whatever happened to cause me and Y/N to fall apart?"
"...."
"It had to be around the time I was eight that I noticed we were growing apart. Even now, I see it so clearly."
"It's been a long time, Jinshi-sama. You're no longer children."
"All the more reason to know, isn't it?"
"I don't know...."
"Gaoshun, nothing will come of it. I'm simply curious."
"..."
"I'm sorry to put you in this position. Please return to what you were doing."
"Jinshi-sama.... you might not like the truth..."
"I usually don't."
"Where to begin.... Before her eighth birthday—"
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"H....E—"
Everything felt so muffled. Faraway. Featherlight.
Was that a pressure against your chest? A thump that came into quick successions, then stopped. For something soft and ever so delicate to press against your lips?
Everything was distant. So far away from your grasp. From your state of being. As if you were already long gone from whatever reality you were in moments ago.
"H—"
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It was almost like floating. A gentle sway and a crack.
A joyful gliding against the sky that soothed you away from worries and woes.
Thump. Thump. Lips.
Repeating endlessly. Happily. Wetly?
Thump. Thump. Lips.
You welcomed it. Whatever it was. Whatever kept the rhythm. The wonderful rhythm.
Thump. Thump. Lips.
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Thump. Thump. Lips.
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Thump. Thump. Lips.
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Thump. Thump. Lips.
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Thump. Thump. Lips.
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Thump. Thump. Lips.
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THUMP. THUM—
You shot up with a cough.
Your throat burned and head ached terribly. Your eyes almost felt like they were about to pop out of your head and roll away. You felt horrible.
It didn't help that you were drenched from head to toe either.
Beside you, there was a heavy and loud sigh of relief as he fell to his backside. He let a silence fall over you both as you recovered, hand pressed against your throat and heaving.
Jesus. Had you almost...
The thought alone almost made you sick.
"I'm sorry. I thought.... I didn't think you still couldn't swim." His voice was soft, barely heard over the waterfall. Kind and cautious, worried and terrified. Things that seeped from his tone as if it were bleeding out and bearing all its insides to you.
Exposing him to you.
You peeked over your loose strands of hair to glare viciously at him. "When would I have the time to learn to swim?" You shot back ruthlessly, not entirely caring from etiquette in this moment. "You've lost your mind."
"Right." Jinshi immediately agreed, almost looking fearful as he watched you.
You push yourself up and take in a deep breath, coughing slightly at the burn of your throat. Taking in your surroundings, you swore that this was that—
"Are you really alright?"
You glanced back at the man and found him still sat on the damp ground. His eyebrows are furrowed and a small frown on his lips as he stared up at you. It made you uncomfortable. To see such a glittering violet staring back at you earnestly. Honestly.
You instead clutch onto your dress, "Suiren is gonna kill me." You scoff, tugging the garments apart.
You could hear Jinshi sputter behind you. The gravel and dirt below him crunching as he probably scrambled up from his spot.
You spared a feeble look over your shoulder to find him with his eyes clenched slowed, hand covering your body from his gaze. You snap your gaze back around and tug the fabric a little too hard as you scoff.
You wouldn't deny the pang of hurt that clenched your chest.
"Don't worry, Jinshi-sama, you won't have to see my unruly body of mine for long. I just want to make sure Suiren doesn't slaughter me when we return."
"I— No, I'm just— okay." He finally muttered.
You are stripped down to your underthings, placing the dress and various pieces on the ground as delicately as you can to avoid too much dirt being stained into the fabric.
As you place the last bit of clothing down, you hear the flutter of fabric behind you.
Jinshi is a bright red, gently tossing his robe down behind him. His back is facing you and you know its for whatever mock sense of modesty he wants to give the both of you. You instinctively reach out and take his robe in your grasp, twisting it and squeezing it to watch out a fair amount of water drip out.
"You worry about mine later. Take care of your things first."
Yeah, right, You think as you twist it with an unrelenting grip. You are there to serve your master. It's one of the first things you learn. His needs came before your own. His needs were your needs.
Jinshi snatched the robe away and squeezed the fabric tight, an overflowing amount of water released from the cloth and into the ground.
Okay, so maybe he was better at it than you.
You nod, turning your attention towards your own garments and try to ignore the overwhelming feeling that you had eyes on your rear.
"So, um—" Jinshi cleared his throat when his eyes dragged away from you, cheeks a bright red. "What now?"
"Well, we could attempt at trying to swim back—"
"You can't swim."
"I was going to say that."
"Oh, sorry."
There's a soft silence between the both of you as you finish up. Gently redressing, you make your way towards the entrance of the cave, where the waterfall is blocking it from any negative eyes. You press your lips into a thin line and regard it bitterly. You remember this waterfall.... you could recall the times you whimsical pondered what it'd be like to ride down it like in those stories.
Jinshi had promised such when you both were too young and too dumb to realize how naïve dreams like that were.
You couldn't really judge that mini-you, for you had your own dreams of—
"Remember when Gaoshun first brought us here?"
You hadn't realized that Jinshi made his way over until he was standing beside you. Robes lose over his shoulders and tugging on his top layer. Violet eyes were watching the water as if it were a canvas of memories in the long distant past. Something to be admired and viewed with daisies and smiles. Not to be addressed as anything but good or amazing. Not to see the truth of it all.
You press your lips together, drawing in a heavy breath, "I remember you pushing me in the water and Gaoshun having to pull me out."
Jinshi's face screws up slightly, a faint blush on his features as he almost looks around with shame. "Right...." He straightens, "I'm sorry."
You blink, "Huh?"
Jinshi glances at you with a small smile, "I, uh, never really apologized back then. Made you apologize like you did something wrong." He explains weakly.
You raise an amused brow, "I told you I wished you would drown."
"I kinda deserved it!" Jinshi counters, his lips cracking into a grin. That charming grin he gets that makes your heart flutter. Make you hopeful for terrible and wistful. "I'm real sorry."
You smile softly, eyes kind and soft as you regard him, "I forgave you a long time, Jinshi-sama."
Jinshi's expression faltered, "Don't call me...." He trailed off awkwardly, turning his attention back to the unrelenting waterfall. You watched him for that moment. That split second where it looked like he was actually going to say something that would make you lightheaded. His jaw working and the muscle jumping as he seems to contemplate his next words.
Say anything and I'll cling to it, You think, watching his lips part, I always have. I always will.
"I'm surprised you were the one that followed me out. I thought the Apothecary might've done it."
You tense. That was certainly not what you expected him to say. Of all the things he could say? The Apothecary.
The waterfall in front of you is suddenly much too loud and violent. The cave seems to darken and your eyes drag from Jinshi to stare at your bare feet. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't he want Maomao? Why had you even came here? Who were you to get between whatever silent signal he was trying to send to the other girl.
Him and Maomao. It was nicer than him and you. Jinshi and Y/n.
You straighten, pushing down any ill thoughts and heavy feelings into the dark pits of your chest and mind. "I apologize for the intrusion. I thought it'd make more sense for me to accompany you, Jinshi-sama."
"Why are you apologizing....?" He trailed off and then made a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a caught man. "No, wait, I'm really glad that you're the one who came! Like really glad!"
"You don't have to spare me, Jinshi-sama. I'm a woman now, not a little girl."
"I'm not—" He visibly slumps, closing his eyes and trying to collect whatever thoughts he has and place them appropriately. He draws in a breath and faces you, looking oddly serious compared to his usual self. "I'm not trying to spare your feelings. I was just trying to say that— Well, it's not— I want you here, Y/n."
He's sparing your feelings. He's being kind. He doesn't actually want you there. You can't be friends.
You don't spare him a response. Instead, walking further into the cave. You raise your eyebrows, looking at the gaping hole above you where light and the sounds of nature filtered in. What could possibly get you both out of there...?
Whistle. Sit.
Of course. Him.
Jinshi sighs, "I spoke to Gaoshun before we—"
You place your fingers in the corner of your mouth and blow. A loud whistle bounces off the cave walls and out of the hole. You wait and hope to hear a bark or see the familiar tall man, but there's nothing.
"What are you doing?" Jinshi asks slowly, glancing between you and the hole above.
"Hello?" You cup your hands over your mouth and shout as loudly as you can. "Is anyone out there?"
Jinshi frowns, staring at you uneasily, "Y/n, please, we don't want to attract them this direction."
In the mess of almost drowning and seeing peeps of Jinshi's bare skin, you'd almost forgotten that you both had been chased down here by some violent assassin. Rather foolish, if you were honest.
You place the tips of your fingers against your lips and try to force the blush spreading across your cheeks off. "Sorry." You offer a bow of your head, despite the position you both find yourselves in.
You receive no response which causes you to peek at him. The stare that he's leveling you with doesn't bring you any type of comfort. It usually meant he was about to say something that—
"Hop on my back and see if you can reach up there."
—you wouldn't like.
Your eyebrows shot upwards and you stared at him with wide eyes. If Suiren was here and knew what he just proposed, she'd positively lose her mind. No matter how long she had known you— she'd think it improper. He was your boss and you were his lowly servant. To be in an position above him or treating him like a mat, it was...
It was simply ridiculous.
"But—"
"If you're the one below, you'll get crushed." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Do it."
And that's how you ended up here. Legs wrapped around Jinshi's shoulders and heads, hand reaching out for the dirt above. You dig your fingers in and glance down at the man below you.
"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"
Jinshi sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day, his hand on your thigh squeezing gently. "Y/N, please stop asking me that."
You grimace, "My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry." You shakily raise from your place, ignoring the soft and deep grunt Jinshi gives as you stand on his shoulders.
You dig your nails into the damp dirt and begin to tug yourself up.
This is it. Finally, you could get into the open forest once again. You're not going to be suffocated by his presence. Everything will return back to its rightful places—
You froze when it smacked you in the forehead.
You tried to keep calm as you felt the slimy breathing thing rest on your skin. Body tensed up and eyes staring widely at the bright sky above.
"Y/N?" Jinshi softly called, noticing the way you tensed.
"F—Frog." You utter, jaw clenched tight and you felt it shift as you take a deep breath. "A frog."
Jinshi blinked, looking up at you with his own wide eyes, "Hey, don't-don't freak out! Just shake your head and it'll hop off."
You shake a little, but follow his instructions. However, you may have overestimated the shake as you lose your grip on the dirt and begin to fall back.
"Hey!"
The tumble down is short and not all that hurtful, like you had been expecting. You had closed your eyes in anticipation, fear of having to watch the ground quickly approach too much for your tiny heart. You expected to feel the damp mud to be seeping into your clothes and little bits of stone and bark digging into your skin. However—
Nothing.
There was nothing except the soft silk under your fingers. The scent that resembled a sweet fruit, one that you had smelt quite often in the mornings. In the noons, the evenings, the nights, repeat. You knew that smell and that familiar beat against your own chest.
Peeking your eyes open, you find that Jinshi is already staring back at you. The first thing you notice is that you both are extremely close to one another. His breath fans against your dewy face, making goosebumps raise off your skin and a shiver sent down your spin. Next is his tender expression, Eyes gentle and twinkling. His expression isn't filled with pain or anything that would indicate that he was uncomfortable with the very short distance between you both. The last thing you notice is the fact that your body is pressed against his.
Your complexion flushes and you blink down at him.
He's warm. Incredibly warm. A sharp contrast to his damp clothes, which are open and pooling under his shoulder blades, revealing his bare chest to you. Your breath is ripped from you as you stare at the plump skin. You've seen it a million times. Every day as you help him get ready for the day. It should be normal. Should be something that doesn't make you lightheaded.
But it does.
He's right there. Right against you. You can feel his heartbeat ramming against his chest and into yours. You can feel every small breath he takes—as if hanging onto this moment with, what? Trepidation? Unease? You weren't entirely sure but you knew that you felt light.
Was it so bad that you felt nice in this moment? That this warmth was wrong? Was it so out of your reach that you simply couldn't imagine a man wanting to embrace you in a way?
You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.
Yes. It was.
You clenched your jaw, ignoring the tender look in Jinshi's eyes as you try to bring your mind into the present.
The frog.
It wasn't anything that you wanted to touch, but Jinshi was your master. Your discomforts and fears must be pushed away for his sake and needs.
Reaching down, you feel for any signs of the frog. It wasn't large, but it wasn't entirely small either. It wouldn't be hard to find in all it's slimy and— There it is.
Your hand brushed it and you feel almost elated to find it. Your hand cupped around the bulge from Jinshi's robes. It feels much bigger than the average frog that'd been on your forehead. It was unmoving to, except for the small twitch it gives as you rest your palm down. You gripped it.
"Hng," Jinshi grunts, his eyes close. You're a little shocked as his hips shift, his hands at your hips dig into your flesh, almost too eager. You snap your eyes upward to his suddenly sweating and flushed face. "I-I'm sorry, but... but could you move your hand? It's making things, um, rather difficult."
Difficult?
You grip onto the twitching frog below you—
"U-Uh—" Jinshi moans in a deep and guttural way that would make anyone, especially you, malfunction. It doesn't help that his hands latch onto you harder, pressing you closer and releasing a stuttering breath against your ear.
Why was he squirming so much? Why was his face so red and dripping with sweat? Why was his chest heaving and his hands flexing around your skin? And why was this thing twitching and getting bigger in your hold....
Oh.
Oh.
You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.
You felt a little sick at your intrusion. At the gall. You couldn't believe yourself. You had violated one of the single rules you were ever given. You violated Jinshi's space. His entire being. You were to be punished and hated— ousted from your position.
Disgusted with yourself, you slowly stand up. Jinshi's softly panting from his position on the ground, running a hand through his mused hair.
"S-Sorry, I haven't— I'm a bit—" Jinshi's obviously embarassed and uncomfortable. Look what you've done. You've ruined it all. "Hey, where are you going?"
Before you could think much more as his hands grip your hips once again and pull you down.
You're sat on his his lap and you could feel it.
"J-Jinshi-sama, I'm so-I'm so sorry!" You tucked your head down, shaking with trembling lips.
Jinshi's hands fall to your thighs, limp, "Eh...?"
"What I did was truly inappropriate and-and I will take any and all punishment!"
"Punishment...?" He sounded terribly confused, still a bit breathless. You keep your head ducked and he remains unmoved. "Why would I... you're not getting punished."
"I give my life to you. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished." You repeated softly under your breath, tucking your hands against your face to hide away from his gaze. From the judgement and hatred. "It's only just."
There's a longstanding silence between the both of you and you're hopeful that he's coming to his senses. That you'd be released and freed. That you would finally accept the gap and space between them. To fall away, finally, to the shadows.
It was tarnished the moment Jinshi wraps your hands around your own, gently prying your hands away from your face.
He doesn't look vengeful or angered. No. No, he looks kind. As he always has been. Kind and considerate. Honest and open. He'd always been so...
He'd never really been angry with you. Not without sadness being overbearing. Always so quick to forgive you. To push everything away with a smile and crinkle of his eyes.
"Y/N..." His words are as soft as his expression.
Your hands shake, "Please... Please hate me." You pleaded quietly, pressing your forehead against his hands as if he were a monk to be begged to.
"I'm not going to punish you or... or anything of the sort. Why would you want that?"
You draw in a watery breath, shoulders shaking, "It's easier to let go that way." You admitted.
"Let go of what?"
"Of my love for you."
"What?!"
His shout echoed off the cave walls. Your humiliation and embarrassment was quick to follow once it bounced back at you. Made you flinch back and try to push yourself back from his lap. Why did you say anything? Fool. Disgusting fool.
"Hey, hey, hey," Jinshi's hands wrap around your wrists and tug you forward a bit. You refuse to meet his eye. You refuse to be humiliated and demeaned— "Don't do that. Don't close off."
You clench your jaw and try to push the humilation deep within you, taking a deep calming breath as you stared at his bare collar. "You're so kind and so... you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or disgusted, but I need to tell you. And then I would hope that you would let me go."
Jinshi's eyebrows shot up. "Let you go?"
You've been thinking about this for some time. That it all would be better if, in the end, you were to serve someone else. That you were pawned off for some soldier instead of this slow torture. This uncomfortable, unbearable tiptoeing.
"I would like for you to offer me to a soldier or anywhere else."
The reaction is instant. The way Jinshi's complexion darkens and he stares at you with wide eyes. He slumps into the damp ground and almost turns into putty. His hold on you slackens and gives you ample opportunity to move away. But you're frozen in your spot.
"Why would I do that?" Jinshi's voice is quiet, slow, "You're... You're mine."
A blush takes over your cheeks, "Jinshi-sama, It's not appropriate! I shouldn't be like this with you."
"What if I like it?"
You blink at him. "Huh?"
Jinshi leans forward, his thumb gently skirting against your skin. "What if I have some love for you too? What if I don't care about what's appropriate or follows the rules."
I would ask who you are. You were tempted to say but your mouth was clamped shut in shock. Following the rules had been completely him. He was put in his current position now to ensure the rules in the rear palace were being followed diligently. The thought that he would love someone like you when there were people like Maomao or princesses out there. People much more deserving of his devotion. It wasn't right.
As if sensing you're not believing him, he pulls away and presses his lips thin. "Okay, I'll convince you." He straightens up and takes a breath. "I spoke to Gaoshun not too long ago. Before we came here and I know everything now."
A pause. Everything. He knew everything now? Everything is so much. Everything is... well, everything. What exactly had Gaoshun told him?
"What's everything?"
"That my mother didn't want you around anymore. That Gaoshun told you that you weren't allowed around me anymore. That you stopped being my friend and became my employee."
Your stare up at Jinshi with wide eyes. "That's not...Us being friends wasn't right anymore."
Jinshi frowned, shaking his head and his hands slide up to your arms. "If I had my way, I would've had you by my side all that time. Not as some lady-in-waiting, but as my equal."
You shake your head, ignoring the erratic beating of your heart against your chest. "Don't say that. Don't say things you don't mean, Jinshi." You beg softly.
Jinshi reaches out, wrapping his hands around your own, pressing it against his chest. "I mean it with everything in me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever been separated from you. Forget what my mother said." His words were sweet, tempting. They made you lightheaded. So did the sudden brightness and tender smile on his face. "That's the first time you've called me Jinshi since we were kids."
"What? I've always called you Jinshi."
"No, you've always called me Jinshi-sama."
"Oh."
You suppose you had.
"Jinshi," You utter, unsure of what else you both could say.
Jinshi's expression, if possible, softens further, leaning forward an inch. "Yes?" He whispers back just as softly.
Your eyes trail between his eyes before moving to his lips, parted and glistening, "Jinshi..."
Jinshi's hand slides up your thigh and his lips are ghosting against yours, "I'm here. I promise." He whispers before pressing your lips together delicately.
Your heart soars. Your hands shakily press against his cheeks, drawing closer as his own press your hips together. He's soft. He's tender. He's cautious and all encompassing. Filling your senses and making you lightheaded.
As you both part for a breath, he flips you onto your back. His hand grips the underside of your thigh and presses you close enough that he lets out a soft and broken sound.
His eyes are heavily lidded as he gazes down at you, lips pink. "I just want you. No one else. I promise." He utters.
You twist your hands into his hair, eyes fluttering. "You're it." You pass back.
His lips are back on yours. Wet and eager. This is sudden. Fast. But you've been waiting for so long. Had been clinging onto the smallest of things. Desperate to have this closeness that you had now. To feel his skin against yours. His breath mixing with your own. Everything him and everything you intertwined.
You just wanted to cherish this—
WOOF!
You and Jinshi both tense up, jumping. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widen upon finding a familiar dog staring down at you both, wagging tail eager and happy to see you.
Jinshi's eyebrows furrow, "Huh...?"
There's not much warning before the dog is jumping down. Landing straight on Jinshi's back, causing the poor man to let out a pained sound. He's squishing you against the ground as the dog stands on his back, happily lapping his tongue against your cheek.
Vague disgust and disappointment wash over you, but you smile all the same. "Oh, boy!"
He barks again. A greeting you're sure.
Above, Lihaku and, surprisingly, Maomao appear. Both of them stare down at you with varying degrees of emotions. Lihaku looked excited and kinda like his dog, while Maomao.
Well, Maomao looked all too knowing.
"Well, you look rough!" Lihaku called down with a grin, "Glad to see you're not dead."
"As am I!" You huff out a laugh, then look to Maomao. "Hello, Xiaomao!"
"Hello." Maomao said flatly, she looked lower and her face screwed up distastefully. "Is Jinshi-sama okay?"
Lihaku then he spots his dog and slightly pales, letting out a sharp whistle. "C'mon, boy!"
The dog eagerly jumps off Jinshi, going to sit by your head and wag his tail. The man above you sighs in relief, pushing up off you. He sits up and you try not to focus on the bright blush on his face.
"Why did he do that?" The royal asks.
"Must've thought something was wrong." Lihaku rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at you both. "What... exactly where you two doing?"
You and Jinshi glance at one another, furious blushes flushing over you both. Despite anything that Jinshi said, there were things that you weren't allowed to do. Rules and laws that forbid something like this form happening the public eye. For a man like himself from being with a woman like you. A servant with a beautiful prince.
Protecting him was the priority.
"Nothing!" You shout back, ignoring the eyebrow raise that garnered from both Jinshi and Maomao.
Everything was better left alone. A secret between the both of you. To cherish and hold for however long it may need. You could deal with the anger and longing later.
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b3ach-bunn7 · 26 days
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WE SUFFOCATED OUR LOVE
a random number starts texting you and you decide to text back
Or, the bassist of your favourite band accidentally messages you and u fall in love
inspired by this fic 😆 and my fav band the driver era
band!au, no quirks, text form, eventual romance
————————————————————————-
September 18th
10:37 pm
Unknown: Ask Shiggy to grab me a monster on his way back
You: a monster?? are u 12…
Unknown: Shut up and ask
You: sorry I think you have the wrong number
Unknown: No I don’t
You: lowkey u do..
You: r u trying to hack me
Unknown: You’re still texting me so u would probably fall for it
You: okay ur still textjng me genius
Unknown: Texting*
You: Shut up.
You: okay don’t actually shut up
Unknown: Thought I was a hacker
You: maybe I wanna be hacked
Unknown: Is this flirting
You: maybe
You: r u really sexy
Unknown: Extremely
You: 😍 feeling bashful rn
You: why r u drinking monsters anyways
You: Wait am i actually messaging a 12 yr old
September 19th
4:03 am
Unknown: I’m not 12 years old
Unknown: I’m 24
Unknown: And i drink monsters for energy
Unknown: And because they r yummy
Unknown: And cheap
You: omfg you don’t need a separate text for every word
Unknown: Oh
Unknown: Didn’t think you’d be awake so late
You: well I wasn’t but SOMEONE is messaging me at 4am
You: also I’m 24 2
Unknown: Didn’t ask
You: kys
Unknown: Ok bye
You: pussy
You: why are u even awake so late
Unknown: I’m writing
You: omg 😳 are u an author
Unknown: Lol no
Unknown: I write music
You: OMG
You: even better
You: what do u play
Unknown: Bass
Unknown: And I sing kinda
You: kinda?
Unknown: I sing backup mainly
Unknown: Or lead if I’m feeling extra generous
You: generous?
Unknown: To please all my loving woman fans ofc 😫
You: EWW TF
You: DONT EVER USE EMOJIS AGAIN BRUH 😭
Unknown: 😭💔.
You: literally throwing up alllllxover my room
Unknown: Weirdo
Unknown: Go to sleep
You: don’t tell me what to do 🙄
Unknown: Okay don’t sleep
You: lowkey have to I have uni tomorrow
Unknown: Loser
You: shush
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
September 19th
8:47 am
You: FUCK YOU
September 19th
2:30 pm
Unknown: Meanie 😢
You: i overslept because of you
Unknown: Were you up all night thinking about me
You: i dont eben know ur name
Unknown: Dabi
You: oh ur sooooo emo and edgy
Dabi: Shut up
You: nobody... understands you😕⛓️🥀
Dabi: You gonna tell me ur name or what
You: Y/N
Dabi: Pretty name
You: dont stalk me plz
Dabi: No promises
————————————————————————
September 28th
10:02 pm
You: so if u dont go uni what do you do
Dabi: I told you i write music
Dabi: Am also in a band
You: wait are u like
You: successful
You: like do u make money from it
Dabi: Well yes
Dabi: Its my job
You: wait thats kinda cool
Dabi:  😎 
You: take it back so fast
You: do u stream ur music on like spotify
You: let me listen
You: whats ur band called
Dabi: No
You: mid name but i will look it up
Dabi: I dont wanna tell you
Dabi: Not right now at least
You: r u like super famous
You: am i messaging harry styles rn
Dabi: Im sorry i kept this from u for so long
You: is 1D cming back
You: plz
Dabi: Never
Dabi: Narry ruined us😔
You: HAHAH
You: HWO DO U KNOW WHAT TAHT IS
Dabi: I have a sister
Dabi: But seriously I'll tell you one day
You: how do ik ur not lying about ur music 🤔
Dabi: [image attachment]
September 28th
10:13pm
You: MINABHABHAE
You: LOOK
You: OMFG
You: [image attachment]
You: HIS HAND IS ALL TATTED UP AND SEXY
You: AND THAT BASS
You: just creamed my pants
Mina: GIRL
Mina: you dont even know what he looks like
Mina: he does have sexy hands tho
You: sexy hands = sexy face
You: its litch science
Mina: ur so whipped and its been a week
You: uhm
You: ten days actually
Mina: ur not right in the head
September 28th
10:22 pm
Dabi: Did my incredible bass shock u to silence
You: i literally collapsed when i saw it
You: i like the blue
You: also ur tattoos are cool
Dabi: Thanks babe
You: mhm
You: yh
You: did they hurt
You: when u got them done
Dabi: Nah they werent too bad
Dabi: Worst was probs the ones on my chest
You: r u like alll tatted up
Dabi: I am
Dabi: That okay?
You: mhm
You: very cool
You: i want a tatto but im lowkey scared like
You: what if it hurts
Dabi: Ill get one with you
Dabi: Ill talk you through it
Dabi: Distract you from the pain
You: mhm
You: yes
You: very good
You: my roomates calling me ttylxox
September 28th
10:30pm
You: [screenshot]
You: hes SOO FLIRTING RIGHT
Mina: oh babe this reads like a porno
You: DFHBAJHF
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 11th
8:37 pm
You: [link attachment]
You: listen to this song
You: LOV is the best band eva
Dabi: LOL
You: WHAT
You: its so good its my fav band
You: im seeing them next month
Dabi: Really
You: r u jelly
Dabi: Very
Dabi: If only i could be there
You: i think theres still tickets for sale if u acc wanna come
Dabi: You tryna see me in person?
You: mayhaps
You: ur just so mysterious
You: what if ur actually like a pedo
Dabi: The fuck
Dabi: I’m no pedo
You: okay cool
You: you can come to the concert then
Dabi: Seriously?
October 11th
8:47pm
You: MINA
You: PLEASE
You: [screenshot attachment]
You: SHALL I SAY YEA
Mina: UHM
Mina: YES
Mina: concerts are public so if he’s actually a creep you’ll be safe
You: OKAY
October 11th
8:50pm
You: okay omg
You: shall we actually do this
Dabi: Yeah
Dabi: You got another month to figure out if I’m a pedo
You: now I deffo think you’re one
—————————————————————————
October 17th
6:45 pm
Dabi: Does this sound good
Dabi: [audio message]
You: WOAH
You: that sounds really good
You: is that u talking at the end
Dabi: Yeah my roommate walked in
You: ur voice is so deep
Dabi: Sexy right
You: gosh so modest too
Dabi: I’m working on a new song but I can’t tell if I like that riff
You: u should like it
You: it’s very good
Dabi: Thanks babe
You: soooooo
You: can u show me ur band now 😁
Dabi: No 😁
You: 🤬
—————————————————————————
October 21st
8:33pm
You: what would u do if we meet irl and IM actually famous
You: like u pull up to the concert and I’m there but I’m actually like Jojo siwa or something
Dabi: I’d be a bit disappointed
You: u don’t fw jojo??
Dabi: No but she’s gay and I’d hope all my flirting was being put to good use here
You: hardee har
————————————————————————
October 25th
6:45pm
You: I’m supposed to be studying but
You: I can’t stop thinking if halloweeen😝
Dabi: You going trick or treating?
You: i wish
You: unfortunately too old for that now
Dabi: Loser
Dabi: My little brothers 11 so I get to do it with him
Dabi: But I gotta act cool like I don’t wanna do it
You: IM SO JELLY
You: can I borrow ur little brother on the 31st of October plz
Dabi: No weirdo
You: sigh
You: I’m going to a party at least
Dabi: Oh yeah
Dabi: What are u dressing up as
You: me and my friend are going as monster high girls 😁😁😁
You: shes draculaura and I’m clawdeen 😜
Dabi: Sick
Dabi: U have to show me when you do it
You: gosh ur so obsessed with me
You: but okay
—————————————————————————
October 28th
7:00pm
You: [image attachment]
You: the fit is ready
Dabi: Why aren’t u wearing it
You: im gonnna do the full reveal ON halloween
Dabi: Sigh fine
You: what are you wearing punk
Dabi: Punk 😭
You: LOL
Dabi: U can’t laugh
You: okay…
Dabi: You know that show curious George
You: HAHAHA
You: R U FONNA BE THE YELLOW HAT MAN
Dabi: You said u wouldn’t laugh 😔
You: NO ITS SO CUTE
Dabi: I got him a little monkey onesie
You: AWWW
You: THATS SO CUTE
October 28th
7:10 pm
You: [screenshot attachment]
You: when he’s a good older brother 😍😍❤️😝
Mina: okay bare minimum 😍😍😍
You: SHUT UP
—————————————————————————-
October 31st
6:00 pm
Dabi: [image attachment]
Dabi: Ur favourite childhood father figure
You: OMG
You: U GUYS LOOK SO GOOD
You: crazy how ur face is covered🙄
Dabi: You love the thrill of the mystery
Dabi: Let’s see ur costume
You: my party starts at like nine bruh 😭
You: im in bed watching movies
Dabi: Loser
Dabi: Imagine not trick or treating
You: u suck so much
Dabi: Ofc I do 😋
You: VOMIT 🤢
October 31st
6:07pm
You: [image attachment]
You: Mina.
You: look at his ARMS IN THAT SUIT
Mina: it’s bright yellow
You: HES CURIOUS GEORGE MAN
You: his little brothers the monkey
Mina: WAIT WHY IS THAT KINDA CUTE
You: IK
Mina: and he does look sexy in that button up
You: the tattoos🤤
Mina: love a man with a dark past 😍
You: god im so scared to see him
You: the concerts on the 10th
Mina: you’ll be okay babe Dw
October 31st
8:30pm
You: [image attachment]
You: it’s…. A full moon.. I feel myself… changing 🐺
Dabi: Woah
Dabi: You look hot
You: omg
You: thank u
Dabi: You’re pretty too
Dabi: R u wearing that to the concert
You: LOL NO
You: I haven’t decided yet
Dabi: U have to show me
Dabi: So I can find you
You: and how am I gonna find you
Dabi: You’ll find me
November 3rd
7:02pm
Dabi: [audio attachment]
Dabi: Listen please 😄
Dabi: What do you think
You: why r u acc good at this
You: I LOVE
You: yk it kinda sounds like LOV
You: I think you’ll like their music
Dabi: Girl I listen to them
You: GIRL???
You: sassy man apocalypse is alive and well
Dabi: Whos ur favourite band member
You: hmmmm
You: I like the drummer
You: himiko she’s so cute
You: but the bassist 🤤🤤🤤
You: Touya
You: need him in ways I can’t articulate over message 😳
You: uhm where did u go
You: did my thirsting freak u out
Dabi: No ur good
Dabi: I thought you’d like the guitarist
Dabi: Shiggy
Dabi: Every girl is obsessed with him
You: yeah but Touya is all emo kinda
You: I love it
November 8th
9:00pm
You: [image attachment]
You: fit check for the concert😜
Dabi: I love it
Dabi: Very Blue
Dabi: That’s my fav colour
You: that’s why I’m wearing it??
Dabi: Blushing rn 🤭
You: HAHA
November 10th
6:30 pm
You: On my way! now
You: tf
Dabi: Can’t wait to see you!
You: LOL SHUSH
You: im nervous
Dabi: Don’t be
Dabi: Im excited to see you
You: me too 😆
November 10th
6:50pm
Mina: be careful plz
Mina: there’s loads of people around but still
Mina: he could be a freak in disguise
You: I know babe Dw dw
You: I’ll keep u updated
Mina: good
Mina: r u gonna give him a biggggg fat smooch 🤤
You: SHUT UP
November 7th
7:00pm
You: are you here?
Dabi: Yeah
You: omg
You: im scared
Dabi: Lowkey same
Dabi: But im so manly and strong so im actually not scared
You: LOL
Dabi: Okay wait
Dabi: I need to tell you smth
You: is this u telling me the pedo allegations r true….
Dabi: Before we meet u need to know
You: yeah what’s up?
Dabi: Idk how to say this without u thinking I’m lying but
Dabi: I’m Touya
You: uh
You: what 😅
Dabi: I just didn’t wanna tell you because I thought you might like
Dabi: Idk people r so weird about it when they find out
Dabi: And I didn’t want you to just talk to me because of that
Dabi: Especially when I found out u listen to our music
Dabi: I’m sorry I never told u
Dabi: Y/N? You there?
You: yeah I just
You: slightly confused
You: idk how to tell if ur lying or not
Dabi: [image attachment]
Dabi: Theres the face reveal you’ve been after
You: what the sigma
You: okay
You: woah
You: so I’ve actually been dming a celebrity
Dabi: You prefer me or Harry styles
You: you deffo
You: but I think you knew that from my messages from before
Dabi: Yeah i remember
Dabi: Dw you can articulate all the ways you need me after the show
You: haahahahhahaha
You: 😁😁😁 okay
Dabi: I have smth for you though
You: you do?
Dabi: Yeah
Dabi: Go to the back door where that scary security guy is
Dabi: His name is Spinner
Dabi: Tell him Dabi sent you
You: OKAY
You: :((( THIS IS SO CUTE
Dabi: You like them?
You: I can’t believe u got me flowers 😢
You: thank you!!!
Dabi: That’s alright
Dabi: Okay I need to go warm up
Dabi: I’ll be looking for you in the crowd
You: I’ll be staring at you too
Dabi: I said looking
You: same diff
You: wait hold on
Touya: What?
You: nm nm
You: good luck for ur show 😆
Touya: Thanks babe
BONUS
November 7th
5:05pm
Touya: Toga
Touya: Toga
Touya: Toga
Touya: TOGAAAAA
Toga: WTF DO U WANT
Touya: If I was gonna get a girl flowers what should I get her
Toga: GASP GASP
Toga: WHO R U RIZZING UP
Touya: Literally fuck off never say that
Toga: is this that girl you’re always messaging
Toga: and smiling at ur phone 🥺🥺
Touya: Fuck off
Toga: IT ISSSSSS
Toga: IS SHE COMING TONIGHT
Touya: Yes
Toga: AHHSSHAHWHW
Toga: THIS IS SO EXCITING
Touya: I’m so happy ur having so so much fun
Toga: I so ammmmmm
Toga: but why don’t u ask her what she wants
Touya: It’s a surprise idiot
Toga: AWWWWWWWW
Toga: okay well if u wanna be so really romantic u could get her roses
Toga: or maybeee tulips or lillies
Toga: she’ll like whatevs u get her
Touya: Okay
Touya: Thanks
Toga: that’s okay lover boy 😍🥰
Touya: Kys
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THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE OH EM GEE but it lowkey took longer than I thought it would… but i hope u all enjoyed 😁😁
also y/ns messaging is literally just how I message.. I fear this is the most self indulgent fic I’ve ever written
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