#im too tired for this shite rn

[rosedhall]

I have the most schlocky au in mind.. idk if I am going to do anything with it. It's one of those "everyone lives" ones that devolves into soap tier drama .. timeline is a little wonky but smth smth big family mushed together

[pells-beautiful-wife]

Cuddles and magic remedies

Warnings: periods, fluff, cramps, not proof read, spelling mistakes, reader is female

Armin x F!reader

This is really scrapy because it took me like an hour and im tired. I need armin rn but couldn't find anything so I wrote this. We. Need. More. Armin. Fics.

Anyway enjoy

Your day was shite.

There was no other way of putting it, your cramps had been on and off all day, ranging from so painfull all you could do was curl up and pray for your life too I think I have cramps but I only feel them when I think about it.

So now here you stood in captain Levis office hoping there was a god.

"You finished?" He asked annoyedly.

"Yes sir," you stood to attention.

"Tch, your done for the day go get some food. Dismissed," happily you skipped out of his office glad your half-assed attempt at cleaning the store room had been accepted,or maybe he knew what time of the month it was?

As you entered the food hall you saw it was almost empty except for a few cadets playing old maid.

Collecting your soup you sat in your usual spot and waited, and waited...

You smiled as Armin walked towards you waving as he did. When he reached you he sat down on your left.

"Hi," he beamed picking up his bread and taking a huge bite out of it.

"Hey Armin, how are you?" You replied.

"I'm good been working on a new strategy that could include erens titan, I'm thinking of trying it out soon, how about you?"

"Ooh sounds exciting, personally? I have done next to nothing," you huffed letting your head fall onto the table.

"You ok?" Armin asked genuine concern in his voice.

You were about to reply when eren and Mikasa came up behind him.

"Hey Armin!" Eren exclaimed. You moved along a seat and eren took your old one.

"Hi eren can I-" armin started, but you cut him off knowing mikasa would want to sit next to eren you ignored your body screaming at you and got up. Leaving your luke warm soup behind.

"Later armin," you excused yourself and left.

It didn't matter that you'd let your soup go cold so you could eat it with him.

You lay face down on your bed sobbing into your covers. Wearing your comfiest night clothes and wrapped in your softest blankets. The hot water bottle sloshed as you rolled to lie on your side.

A soft knock came from the door.

"Hey its Armin can I come in?" He said softly.

"Yeah," you sniffed shuffling in the bed to make room for him to join you.

Quietly he entered closing the door softly behind him.

"I thought so," he smiled at you. "You need anything?"

"Cuddles and a magic remedy," you chuckled, but it turned to sobs.

"I can do cuddles," he said softly pulling you into him as he lay down next to you.

"Thank you," you snuggled into him.

"It'll be okay," he kissed your head, stroking your hair.

"Now that your here?" You laughed.

"Yeah," he laughed too.

You laughed together until a sharp pain struck you in the gut.

"Ow," you groaned burrowing your face into his neck.

"Sshhh," he showered the top of your head in kisses. "I'll be right back ok."

Quickly he stood up and exited.

You curled into a fetal position as the heat from the water bottle was infinitly lacking.

When Armin returned he was holding a steamy cup.

"Whats that?"

"It's ginger tea, petra told the captain and he told sasha and she told jean, who told connnie and he told, never mind its meant to help with cramps," Armin flushed red.

"Thank you," you said reaching for it.

"Wait let it cool down first its to hot right now."

"Armin it's meant to be hot it helps trust me," you smiled at him.

"But this is too hot, I don't want you to get burned," he looked at the floor.

"I'll be careful just gimme the magic remedy," you pouted.

"Mm ok," he carefully handed you the cup.

Slowly you stuck your tongue in it checking the temperature, it was barely hot just a pleasant steamy heat.

You took a large swig and almost moaned.

"So it's good?" Armin joked.

"I think I was promised cuddles," you smiled.

"You were promised nothing," he said but still sat down next to you letting you lean into him.

"I love you," you said into his neck.

"Love you too," he replied into the top of your head.

[last-starfighter]

Hello. sorry this will be long, I didnt know where to leave a review. I played Jjimjilbang for a bit (not the full demo, not gonna lie, I am too tired for this today. Just so you know the extent of my gameplay) Also I am generally not good at games (easy mode is my mode) and I don't know much about stats.

I have no problem with the graphics and music (my first console was the big grey gameboy lol). I quite enjoy all of that, it feels nostalgic to me. Music isnt too intrusive either and does not distract from stuff on the screen (granted there isnt a whole lot going on so its pretty safe) I like how the characters are designed, and their little avatar picture in the bottom speech frame (I am foreign, I dont know how thats called in english)

I like the rpg aspect. It was a bot weird to be thrown into the story simply with a text screen (well plenty of old games do that but I was spoiled by the zelda games and "illustrated" storytelling). I dunno if youre supposed to find roach first, but i explored a bit alone and got obliterated, before I found him. so If you're supposed to find him and the shop before diving head first into danger like an idiot (me, I am the idiot)... maybe it should be more obvious/forced? otherwise just blame my bad decision making skills. (this is where its obvious I started as a new game and not from the save)

I have a very bad sense of direction so I got confused often in the rooms. i know there is a "map" text but it didnt help for me to paint a general map in my brain. I insist that my sense of direction is lower than average lol.

I enjoy the random encounters as much as I enjoyed them in the tall grass in pokemon, which is not at all. BUT they are ghosts and it makes sense for them to jumpscare you and be annoying. I am not SUPPOSED to enjoy it so that's not a real problem. I wish their level was a bit more worked? i dunno i was without roach and encountered 3 of them at once, I think, it seemed overkill (it sure overkilled me). and then I had a tiny one that I oneshot, which restored my ego a bit. But maybe I stepped in the wrong room, as I said. In fact the ghosts would have been less annoying if I wasnt interrupted while trying to retrace my steps because I got disoriented on the map. encountering them when you explore is fine. being interrupted while going back and forth is a bit more of a pain. it adds to the frustration. As I said again, my direction is absolute shite.

The decor is real nice, I am a bit bummed that there are items that are just decorative. like there was a locker with a thing on top, I was upset that it wasnt something I can pick up, and just deco, while the items to loot are in very obvious chests. I don't know, I am a fallout player, I see a locker I inspect it hahaha. Having dungeon chests for regular non-ghost items felt a bit non-immersive maybe. like I expected to find items such as the mirror and watch in the locker itself. though finding a key in a safe makes sense. it does make it easy to pinpoint what your task is, in a specific room, but takes away from immersion in my opinion.

Anyway I enjoyed it really much so far and would enjoy playing a full version. This is not bad at all and I am nitpicking. see thins a being honest and constructive about my experience as a below average gamer, not in a "here is a list of why it sucked" way (not at ALL).

Also is there a korean version? I would be interested in that too.

holy shit thank you uhhhhhhhh

youre bein super nice and so im just goin a little bit blue screen of death yknow

so uh if you wanna leave a review next time you can do it on the games itch.io page but this is a really good review and it made me happy

a lot of the bullshit you mentioned (like missing roach) is shit that other people have told me about so were gonna fix it for the final build

and rn theres no plans for a korean version because i dont speak korean- but it would be so fucking cool and if you know someone who can translate maybe when we go for a final release you can hook us up?

[paacifist]

dude the tumblr post editor is driving me insane and literally blocking me from editing and or doing basic stuff i ⸺

[sweetestfollows]

blehbleh

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

THE FLIGHT IS BOOKED, THE TICKETS ARE NONREFUNDABLE, GUESS WHOS GOING TO ICELAND!!!!

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 4

a/n: I LIVE FOR THESE MANAGER SEIJOH ASKS LIKE BLS TAKE OVER MY LIFE

(i originally planned to write the other schools for the manager scenario like theyre already in my drafts with plans and partly written out but like seijoh is my TOP PRIORITY (sorry pls dont hate me) BC THEY ARE MY BOIS)

also, most of my ask box is all for a kyoken ending and kyoken fluff and aoba johsai fluff and im quaking bc this is spurring me to create more aoba johsai imagines and my love for the other schools is just like being overshadowed by our little plant babies :’)

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request: Im the anon who mentioned the chaos about the dating and can I say I love it!!! 🙏🙏 i kinda have this hc for the boys that they fight whenever they go on bus rides, just because they want yn to sit next to them. But she usually sits next to the calmer members?? The reason the boys fight?? She may or may not have fallen asleep a few times, her head on kyo/iwa shoulder. 🥺🥺

LMAO THAT PART JUST REEKED CHAOTIC ENERGY AND SHE WOULD TOTALLY SIT NEXT TO THEM JUST TO SPITE THE OTHERS AND I LOVE THE IRONY LIKE THE MOST AGGRESSIVE LOOKING ARE THE SOFTEST AND CALMEST TOWARDS HER LIKE PLEASE KYOKEN AND IWA ARE JUST LITTLE SOFT BEANS AND DESERVE THE WORLD

(bruh im so soft for iwa and kyo like my best bois and i must write them out IMMEDIATELY bc theyre so uggghhhhhh!!!!!!!)

MY TWO MEN IN ONE GIF GOD HAS BLESSED ME-

oh dear

bus rides,,,,, yep here we go

the team is usually peaceful and civil w each other (minus iwa literally beating oiks up but thats irrelevant information)

like they dont really have fights or have any arguments bc they meet up every saturday to talk about the week and if anybody had any concerns or anything they were mad about since it was like a family meeting

but boy oh boy

when you entered this family,,, arguments and misunderstandings happened once a week

‘no! y/n-chan said she was going to go shopping with me!’

‘um, she already agreed to go to to the arcade w me’

‘wait, she told me we were going to go visit that cafe!’

yes you agreed to do those things w them but you never assigned a date

your attention was something that these boys were always wanting since they only see you during club hours and practices

their jealousy gets really ugly sometimes and the two first years actually get all smug about it 

‘hm, y/n, we still up for studying later?’

you ruffled his hair and smiled up at him

‘yep! we need to set an alarm though or else i’d end up staying after 1 in the morning again’

‘great. cant wait’

kunimi rarely shows any emotion towards his senpais but they couldnt miss the smug smirk that made oikawa grip the volleyball and mattsun holding him back

god hes such a little shite

everyone knows that the first years have a upperhand than them bc of your same grade so the upperclassmen were much more sensitive to spending time with you outside of practice

and they liked to spend that time wisely

when the time for away games come, you weren’t that worried about it

i mean,, why would you when boarding the bus is going to be so early in the morning at like 4 in the morning and theyd be sleeping the whole time so you get peace and quiet

in fact, you were looking forward!

but nope!

jesus took the wheel and said no

instead, you were watching the team members shouting and yelling at each other at the asscrack of dawn

say sike rn

the 2 coaches were actually not there yet so they werent able to help you and whip the boys to order so here you were, bleary eyed and clearly still tired, sighing and rolling your eyes at the fight

‘SHE SITS WITH ME! IM TEAM CAPTAIN! I GET DIBS!’

‘NO! YOU DROOL ON HER AND MESS UP HER CLOTHES! YOU LIKE MAKKI-SENPAI MORE, RIGHT, Y/N-CHAN?!’

now you might be asking me, ‘author-chan, why are they fighting so hard for something as simple as a bus ride?’

well, my young grasshoppers, this is not just a simple bus ride

you are infamous in the team to be a sleeper

no matter what form of transportation, bus, car, any surface, you found yourself in dream land

yall i wish i was like that

the sleep paralysis demon beside my bed says otherwise

they freak out and fight over even a simple touch of affection from you, do you really think they wouldnt fight tooth and nail to being your pillow and freely watching your adorable sleeping face?

these men are fighting as if they were fighting something serious like a world war

lmao with how intensely theyre fighting, it practically is

but there were two players who actually didnt care either way since they only wanted you to be the most comfortable and they werent exactly the most squishiest members

in fact, they were basically all muscle and probably not the most comfortable

NOPE I BELIEVE THAT IWA IS IN FACT ONE OF THE MOST COMFIEST AND BEST PILLOWS IN THE ENTIRE HAIKYUU UNIVERSE

totally not my bias talking or anything

so it was no surprise when they didnt get themselves involved

iwa was already done w them and goes in the bus because mom deserves a nap

naturally, kyo follows the leader and boards the bus after him, leaving the others to fight it out in the school parking lot

you were happy that they were too distracted that they wouldnt notice you sneaking away into the bus and you were slightly disappointed that out of all the seats, kyo had to sit in the one-seater by the front

so you immediately went over to the other person, who was iwa-san, and he was just settling in, pulling out his teal blanket

you blinked at him when he caught you stare but he gently smiled before opening the blanket

‘i was never a fan of window seats anyways’

you happily bounced over to him and you placed your bag at the overhead compartment bc seijoh is bougee and can afford everything before you climbed over him to the seat next to the window

iwaizumi tried to make you as comfortable as he can so he kept the seat divider thing yanno what im talking about? between you

but his eyes widened when you casually pulled it up and snuggled closer to him

youve done this before so he opened his right arm for you to cuddle closer but he was still surprised 

meanwhile,,,

you just closed your eyes with a smile as you pulled the blanket to your chin and practically glomped yourself to iwa

ugh im so jealous of you!!!!!!!!!!

‘hmmmm, youre so warm iwa-san. youre like,,,,, jacob from twilight’

his eyebrow quirked and he smiled, wrapping his arm around you and tightly holding you close

‘oh? the werewolf?’

he felt your head nod

‘mhm. so warm, and strong, yet so gentle and soft’

by now, both your legs were already swung over his lap and head on his chest as you sat sideways

his fingers traced circles around your middle as his other hand was fiddling with your fingers

‘didnt he like mark a little girl?’

‘iwa-san dont talk about that!’

his laugh grumbled his chest and you giggled, trying to become even closer towards his naturally warm chest and inhale his scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

it was such an odd combination from the people you knew and you were immediately drawn to it

thats why you usually wore his jacket rather than your own

he always gets confused as to where it is but you steal it and watch him look for it

you didnt hear that from me though

it didnt take a long time for you to fall asleep and by the time the 2 coaches finally arrived and yelled at the players, they were already late

‘oikawa, i thought youd handle this properly!’

oiks whimpered from the coach’s scolding but apologized then pushed everyone in

the sight in front of them made them both boil in jealousy and squeal in uwus

you, the softest and sweetest and kindest little flower human being, being cuddled up to iwaizumi, the brute and bara arms and the ultra macho strong man, who had his head on top of you

KYAAAAAAAA

even though they knew you were a heavy sleeper and iwa slept like a rock, they still quieted down and silently walked over to their seats, hissing and shushing at anyone who even made the slightest bit of noise

rustle of the bags?

SSSSHHHHHH

seat creaking as they sit down?

SSSHHHHHHHH

they only let this slide bc your sleeping face was just so cute and they didnt have the heart to wake you up

and also face the wrath of titan iwa and be thrown into the atlantic ocean like oikawa did one time

when you finally arrived at the stadium, they waited for a rough 10 minutes just to figure out how to wake you up

they didnt want to wake up iwa first and have him yell at them but they didnt want to wake you up first either

but kyo didnt understand the dilemma and instead just goes to the back where yall were at and he goes to the seat behind you so he could reach you easily and tickles your cheek

the team is just like 👁️👄👁️

your nose scrunches at this tingling sensation until it continues so you open your eyes and finds kyo just smiling down at you

oiks is literally shaking bc he could see the smallest smile on kyo’s face

‘wake up’

with his gruff voice, it sounded like he was ordering you around but you knew he couldnt help it and blinked tiredly at him, giving him a smile of your own

‘hm, hi kyo-san’

you winced at the sudden appearance of the sunlight and that made you fully wake up before flinched at the eyes of the other players

‘hello, everyone’

you said slowly and you sat up, noticing iwa still sleeping

oiks held his breath bc hes been friends w iwa since he was still a baby and he knows that its like waking up a sleeping dragon

‘wait y/n-chan-’

but you didnt listen and poked his nose

‘iwa-san? iwa-san, we’re here’

you cooed and the poking made his eyes flutter open and with his head still tilted to the side, he swore he saw an angel by the way the sunlight hit the back of your head giving you a smiling angel effect

hm, i could get used to seeing this when i wake up

you grinned and when he finally stretched, you sat up stright, waiting for iwa to get up so you could slide out

but kyo was an impatient little bean and just hoisted you out of there and towards him behind the seat

‘come on. i got your bag’

he mumbled and you nodded, letting him hold your hand

lmao wait i forgot the time this is set

this is set during the 2nd inter-high okay? okay

oiks was still complaining at kyo and iwa hogging you but you didnt listen and continued walking towards the entrance, glancing around at the other teams

as usual, oiks and iwa were walking to the front bc yanno, captain and vice-captain, while you and kyo walked at the back, mainly bc you didnt want any player to stray off like kindaichi did last time and look for him for hours

kyo gripped your hand and you turned your head to look at him to see his eyes glaring at anything

you chuckled which made him look down at you, the glare slowly disappearing

‘hm, kyo-san, you should really invest in contacts. it doesnt matter if wearing glasses makes you feel like a nerd bc you still need it to see’

he scrunched his nose when you scolded him and he was about to retort when him and the team caught the whisperings of the nearby teams

‘oh my god, seijoh and the beautiful manager’

‘how old is she? i hope shes at least a second year’

‘ngh id tap that’

IM BLEEHHHHH

‘is he her boyfriend? if so, the competition isnt that hard then’

kyo growled and was about to lunge at the yellow jacketed boy but you held him back, also worriedly looking at your boys

‘seijoh, down’

you ordered and they shrunk back, opting to just glaring heatedly at the other teams

you could still feel kyo shaking at rage to them sexualizing you but your hands squeezing him and the other hand rubbing his arm helped him control it

‘dont make a scene, kyo-san. its your first competition since your suspension, right? and you love volleyball so please keep it in. i can protect myself’

you whispered but he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and continuing to glare at everyone as if he was asserting dominance

‘if they touch you-’

‘ill kick them between the legs, i know. you told me already’

you teased and he hummed in agreement

when they played, they were at ease bc the two coaches were there and they were also protective of you like their own so they wouldnt have to worry about someone to go after you

however,,

as they were warming up for the second game, you had to quickly fill up their water bottles bc they were already tired and dehydrated so you needed to fill them up

and they were all busy and you didnt want to bother them and you were going to be quick anyways so you just took the case of bottles and ran to the nearby water fountain

you were hurriedly filling them up and at your last bottle, you were about to cap it when you felt a presence behind you

he stood close and his arms snaked around your waist but you hurriedly tightened the lid and whacked him at the head with the heavy bottle

you continuously hit him and kicked him between the legs before hitting him again

‘DONT TOUCH ME AGAIN!’

you shouted and iwa and kyo were watching from the end of the hallway, panting from running so fast since they heard your shouts

okay a little flashback,

kyo was watching you from his perepharal vision and when he went up to spike, he took his eyes off of you for ONE DAMN SECOND and you nyoomed out of there

when he didnt see you anywhere, he wildly looked around and this caught the attention of the vice-captain

‘oi! kyotani! whats wrong?’

‘y/n. where is she?’

they took off running and the team was just like what

then they heard shouts and kyo knew it was you

his mad dog senses

hehe get it

he as about to tackle the guy but he saw you beat him with a water bottle and eventually taking another bottle and kicking him and hitting him with the two waters

the player cowered and scrambled to get away bc wow this girl was psycho

um no sir, she was protecting herself from hormonal testosterone filled children like you

‘YEA GO RUNNING! COME TO ME AGAIN AND ILL BEAT YOU UP HARDER! DISGUSTING! TRASH! GROSS! SCUM!’

maybe it was because the last time you were touched without consent was when you got bullied but you were definitely fighting harder and more aggressive at protecting yourself

you turned around and the rage from your eyes disappeared when you saw the two boys there

‘hey iwa-san! kyo-san! sorry, i needed to fill the water bottles!’

you grinned and placed the bottles back to the case before lugging it up

my god their eyes were shining

yep, thats my girl

when their games were over for the day, they made their way to the exit where the bus was at and you and kyo stayed behind again

you caught the eye of the guy and his team and you and kyo glared at him, both wearing a sadistic smile

UGH YALL ARE COUPLE GOALS I SWEAR

kyo even went up to him and the team shrunk leaving the guy standing there in fear at the look on his face

‘listen, i dont like it when my baby girl gets touched by filthy shite like you. so do it again, and ill chop those damn fingers of yours, got it?’

lmao he’ll come for your ankles

the guy just nodded in fear while his team were cowering at the back

you chuckled and pulled kyo to go bc as much as you liked watching this, you needed to go to the bus to go home

‘cmon, kyo, i want to go. im getting a headache from the smell of garbage’

he shifted his gaze to you and sent you a soft smile

‘okay. lets go’

hah you thought it ends there?

kyo is a dramatic little shite so he made a show of grabbing your waist and kissing your temple before flashing them a finger

oiks was tapping his foot impatiently at the bus and when you and kyo emerged from the entrace, he was about to snatch you up but kyo stood in front of you

‘EH?! KYOKEN-CHAN, I WANT TO SIT WITH Y/N-CHAN!’

‘no’

he said and didnt say anything else as he pulled you to the bus and into a two seater where you sat at the window again and he sat on the outside

‘hah? you want to sit next to me, kyo-san?’

you teased but he flushed red, hurriedly hiding in your neck

you laughed and brought a hand up to caress his nape

‘mhm’

he mumbled and you pursed your lips to hide the squeal

‘youre so cute, kyo-san’

‘not cute’

‘very cute’

‘no’

‘AM I CUTE Y/N-CHAN?’

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA’

kyoken got away from your neck and went to hit the captain 

oikawa screamed

a/n: my first week of school was so weird bc we only have like 2 days and the other days are just free days bc we havent really done anything except talk about our classes but im just hating this system like ugh i actually want to go to school bc ya girl is going to a tech school and this 2-day a week is not the vibe

[shredmytapestry]

[ SCORPIUS MALFOY ] has arrived in Ardere! Under the bonfire light, this [ TWENTY ] year old [ CIS MALE ] is sometimes mistaken for [ FROY GUTIERREZ ]. Since graduating from [ HOGWARTS ], they have been working as a [ BAKERY OWNER ]. Right now, they are currently residing in [ ARDERE ].

BASIC INFORMATION.

FULL NAME: scorpius hyperion malfoy NICKNAME(S) OR ALIAS: scorp, scorpius GENDER: male SPECIES: pureblood wizard  AGE: 20 HOUSE: slytherin PATRONUS: a bird of some sort im lazy SUE ME  ARMY AFFILIATION: hermione granger-weasley SEXUALITY: polyamorous pansexual  NATIONALITY: british CITY OR TOWN OF BIRTH: wiltshire, england CURRENTLY LIVES: ardere, england LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english NATIVE LANGUAGE: english RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single but not lonely 

HEALTH.

SMOKER?: yes DRINKER?: yes RECREATIONAL DRUG USER? WHICH?: yes SOCIABILITY: extrovert

HOUSE & HOME.

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER’S HOUSE/HOME

scorpius lives in ardere n with a couple of roommates??

FAMILY, FRIENDS, & FOES.

PARENTS NAMES: draco malfoy & astoria greengrass SIBLINGS? RELATIONSHIP WITH SIBLINGS?: no siblings OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: florence greengrass, cousin PARTNER/SPOUSE: tbd EXES: tbd. open connections CHILDREN: he is baby BEST FRIEND: tbd. OTHER IMPORTANT FRIENDS:  tbd. PETS: can barely take care of himself.

BLURBS

hi n welcome to scorpius malfoy the angsty lil shite

scorpius is the epitome of a spoiled brat used to getting things his way. his life wasn’t always easy, at first there was still the notion of his last name being dark or him thinking less of muggleborns... none of that was true. scorpius was born out of love and he lived his life with love. he loved his family and never wanted anything more. the death of his mother destroyed their family. his father wasn’t the same and nor was scorpius. 

he didn’t let things slow him down, he studied hard but school was always something he was average at. he didn’t have passions or hobbies and so on a whim, he asked for a bakery. the bakery was a learning curve as he’d only baked for fun, not for selling purposes but it’s doing well! he learned how to bake what ppl like and is always taking on taste testers!

he’s currently the only one working at his bakery as the baker and the seller so he’s so stupidly busy. wc someone to help out at the bakery plssss

that’s all i’m doing for now bc if i write too much i’ll get bored. but i need lots of friend connections and exes and maybe ppl he’s really fucking close to????

he’s poly and very free about it so commitment isn’t on his mind rn but if anyone wants fwb plots or anythin pls just hmu

sry this sucsk am tired

[gayspock]

dont rb/rply

 generally speakin. its not THAT serious & i know that.... LIKE, there’s no deep issue: it’s just my sleep & that’s what causes it every time. but nonetheless. a little freaked out since yesterday. its been those moments, of, like, unreality-unreality u kno wht i mean.... like i do usually have some pretty severe issues with, like, spacin out & disconnect or hwatever. and its normal for me to not remember wht i did in a day but god man. differences bc im gettin those OTHER types of moments rn, that i havent had for a while-while, where its like.... idk wht u even clal it. delusions feel wrong and idk if its appropriate to Call it tht but its like...

yesterday i had that brief moment where i entirely whited out wht the fuck happened & i think i was sayin sth but i cant connect with wht it was. not just in a omg i wasnt paying attention/forgot it was like .. more thn tht but idk how to say it right. and then later on ive been havin those moments and i never kno how to describe them... where im literally Fine, but at the time im not  and i genuinely Believe im in a totally other situation. u kno wht i mean.  its always too abstract to properly explan said moments like... literally the only one instance tht was ever, like, NOT-abstract and easy to explain was like: that one time i was convinced that a) i was not in my bedroom despite being there and that b) there was a bomb going off and bothof those were unshakeable beliefs . that was a few years ago, now, but its like... like its LIKE that  but its always . like i said. too abstract to be like “this is wht i was thinking at the time!” its always a more incongruous sense of terror abt sth tht doesnt make sense & im OUT of it for an hour sometimes and idk. like i said it doesnt happen so much any more but ive been havin Moments since yesterday.... &ik its generally just a sleep issue like its always always a problem when im buggering around with my sleep but fuck man i hate it . i hate it so much

like gd i need to calm down & pull myself together bc i have this exam comin up but i cant focus or relax enough to study for it and im so scared of failing it so badly. im just so tired. i wish i could just handle myself for once but it just feels so fucking difficult just pulling myself together and, like, functioning esp when shite like this happens . i cant feed myself properly or sleep properly or fuckn exist and i feel so damn put out  bc like.. im already stupid as Bricks  u kno. like i dont know if i have a chance at even managing anything without all this but its just so... much to just bother , just to get to, like... be able to get to even try & idk. man it just isnt worth it im Sad

[luxken]

unofficially tagged by @gunsatthaphan​ bc im in the mood to overshare so :D!! 

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? pink im pretty sure

2. Name a food you never eat. uhh lamb? ig which is annoying bc its everywhere

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm D: the sadness I feel

 4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? damn idk WAIt I was writing a one shot for a tomarry ask meme prompt

 5. What’s your favourite candy bar? either old gold, turkish delight or flake

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yea I used to be mad abt cricket way back when I was pretending to be straight

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? muttering to myself abt how to copy+paste this thing effectively

8. What is your favourite ice cream? vanilla bc im a basic bitch :(

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water bc im a bad bitch :)

10. Do you like your wallet? its cool, its worth more than what I have in there currently lmao

11. What is the last thing you ate? some bacon for dinner

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope im broker than the american government

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? probably afl

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? uh,,butter?

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? a friend on snap

16. Ever been camping? DEATH not like real camping ig i mean i went on “camp” for school but it was shite and we slept in cabins so

17. Do you take vitamins? nah i dont have that level of commitment

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? pffft i am godless

19. Do you have a tan? on my arms and legs- the rest? snow white sis

 20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? pizza all the way

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? im too skinny to drink soft drink

22. What color socks do you usually wear? usually black bc i need to wear them for school but i have these rlly cool puzzle socks i got from aldi love them

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? im also driver license-less

24. What terrifies you? being str*ight

25. Look to your left, what do you see? a blank wall bitch

26. What chore do you hate most? like all of them

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? fuckin idk man uh nothing

 28. What’s your favourite soda? not even gonna answer

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? cant drive so i walk inside tho the drive thru is preferable if im w mum

30. What’s your favourite number? 6 its so. r o u n d

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? my sister telling me to shut up

32. Favorite meat? chicken its so good

33. Last song you listened to? im listening to my honest face by inhaler rn

34. Last book you read? like physical? um, hang on need to check goodreads. fully, the princes’s boy, partially hpatcoc (LMAO IT SAYS PHAT COCK). if u mean fanfic then legit couldnt tell u probs smth abt elu

35. Favorite day of the week?  wednesday its grouse

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? yuh

37. How do you like your coffee? like flat whites myself

38. Favorite pair of shoes? some ratty white converse

39. Time you normally get up? for school around 7-7:30, though regularly around 9

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets bc I dont need to get up early

41. How many blankets on your bed?  one not including my doona

42. Describe your kitchen plates. tf. um multicultural

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. smells like fish

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? legally I cannot say, but illegally I can attest to vodka cruisers even tho they're full of sugar

45. Do you play cards? yuh uno is the SHIT

 46. What color is your car? mum’s car- which’ll be mine when I get my l’s- is red

47. Can you change a tire? pfft no

48. Your favorite state or province? tassie bc they're funky and the air is rlly clean even tho they're incestuous as hell

49. Favorite job you’ve had? i havent had a real job yet :/ gonna apply for coles doe so wish me luck 

[the-emotional-equilibrium]

I’d beg for help if I knew who to ask.

I can feel that I’m so fucking ill at the minute, but I honestly don’t know what to do to help myself.

Everything is getting to me. I’m so tired. I’m tired of people starting conversations with me with everything that’s gone to shit for them in the last week. My dad is one of the most negative people i know, and though i get along with him now better than before, he does make me feel like shit when everything he says is just filled with pessimism.

I can’t be bothered to even mention my mum, but honestly living at home is just. I’m so fucking done with it. Just the thought of it being like this for another month is almost unbearable. I’m so fucking miserable at home i cant even do simple things like shower and have time to myself (because she times how long I’m in there) or sing or anything. I’d love to move out and live elsewhere, maybe move in with my dad if it came to that or even couch surf. But honestly I’m too scared to. Despite the fact being at home scared the shit out of me and has pushed me beyond terrified, the thought of telling my mum I’m leaving home just seems dangerous. Besides, despite everything, I’m not sure I could live with the guilt of leaving her to live alone. Ridiculous, I know.

My brain feels like its filled with solid concrete, it physically pains me to form a coherent thought about anything, and those I can form are self loathing and about how no ones every going to love me etc. Which is triggered by just about everything, including seeing other people even mildly happy. I fucking hate myself for that one. My heart hurts like hell. Not even my heart, my entire fucking chest has physical pain because I’m just so sad. 

Life is just a fucking joke at the minute. I’m not sure there are many places in the country where people experience as much stress and pain as sixth form. The stress is making everyone so ill, physically and mentally, its disgusting. And I’m like a sponge, just soaking up everyone else’s mood and letting that weigh me down on top of my own problems.

Even just little things are getting to me, like how i cant travel freely because of fucking unsafe everything is. I’m here for one time, one time only for this relatively short life, and I cant explore the better things this world has to offer because some crackpot radical might blow me up?! Its so fucking unfair. And everyone is dying too young and it makes me so mad no one deserves this. 

Also it’s the most insignificant little thing but there’s a bench at school to commemorate a boy who killed himself a few years back and idfk why but they’ve moved it up to sixth form so now every day I’m going to have to walk past it and I’m not sure I’m going to handle that.

My options though are so limited. My mind just keeps jumping between self harm, suicide and running away. None of which are really possible right now.

Even self harm doesn’t feel like something that would help right now because there’s a certain kind of sad you have to be, and its not this. Plus I cant even find the energy. Then there’s suicide, which I know it sounds stupid but considering it as an option has almost become a coping mechanism for me by now. I doubt I’d do it and I’m constantly fighting against it with all i have to look forward to since I might thank myself for it one day. The hopelessness is just so claustrophobic right now, it feels like the best option. The mental health service in this country? Appalling. I’ve waited a whole year on a waiting list to see a low level Councillor who i saw for the first time today. I’m not sure we’re gonna get along (though I’ll give her a chance); she doesn’t seem to understand what I say just on a basic level and she scares me, so how am i supposed to trust her? But shes my only option unless i want go back to the bottom of the waiting list. I don’t think I’d survive that. But I know I have to be careful because if i admit how horrifically bad I am right now then I’ll get immediately dumped by her and put on a 2 year waiting list for a higher level Councillor. Since of course if she can’t deal with it, 2 years with no help is better. That’s it. That’s all my options. So its not exactly surprising suicide looks appealing in comparison.

[crxnny]

:y

[multiple-nerdery]

all other asks pls

1. selfie no2. what would you name your future kids? i dont know i dont know i might not even have kids3. do you miss anyone? yes. my crush. lots of friends. etc.4. what are you looking forward to? i am going to go eat a brownie once i’ve answered these5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? i mean. my friends. especially camilla, who is my best friend6. is it hard for you to get over someone? yes!7. what was your life like last year? more depression, but tons less drama8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? yesyesyes9. who did you last see in person? i mean. I was at robotics so... people at robotics10. are you good at hiding your feelings? NO11. are you listening to music right now? nah i’m watching supergirl12. what is something you want right now? yeah once specific friend to talk to13. how do you feel right now? i mean, i am a little tired from a shIte tonne of cleaning™™™14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? i mean... opposite sex? but like I got a hug yesterday from a friend16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? oh my go d yes so many of them just a whole bunch of a people17. opinion on insecurities. i have a lot of them. i’ll try to help my friends with them18. do you miss how things were a year ago? ehhh. theyre very similar. i had the same crush so... idk.19. have you ever been to New York? YES20. what is your favourite song at the moment? J-Hø from the Block by Kairos 4tet21. age and birthday? 18 and in September but guys like I’m not putting my exact birthday out there my friends know.23. fear(s) mostly death and other death related things24. height 6′2″ ish25. role model briane greene. richard feynman. my friends26. idol(s) the above27. things i hate nazis28. i’ll love you if… youre cute n nice to me29. favourite film(s) Inside Llewyn Davis.30. favourite tv show(s) RN I like House and Supergirl and Trollhunters and always Miraculous Ladybug.31. 3 random facts i sell old books for money, i like to play jazz music, and i think donald is a nazi32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? girls but theres a lot of guys in there too and some nonbinary pals33. something you want to learn russian34. most embarrassing moment trying to be nice to someone who tried to sabotage me to creat drama for no reason three whole times35. favourite subject math36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? physics professor, musician, writer37. favourite actor/actress i like a lot of them but oscar isaac is a star38. favourite comedian(s) i like trevor noah39. favourite sport(s) hockey n karate40. favourite memory ooh shit theyre mostly related to crushes so no not sharing any of those stories44. age you get mistaken for whatever age lets people think i work everywhere I’m shopping45. how you found out about your idol autobiography. physics book. friendships46. what my last text message says “sorry i didn’t see this till now what?” in reference to my mother saying hello child47. turn ons cute people wanting to kiss me48. turn offs bigotry49. where i want to be right now idk dude50. favourite picture of your idol i have so many idols and i don’t go researching pictures of them dude51. starsign virgo52. something i’m talented at being gay n music53. 5 things that make me happy friends, music, good entertainment, cleaning, fellow gays.54. something thats worrying me at the moment my friend is havin a hard time55. tumblr friends im not tagging any of them because i don’t want to accidentally insult someone by forgetting them i’m sorry im a memory klutz56. favourite food(s) chrizo is big fr me57. favourite animal(s) cats n dogs58. description of my best friend she’s so cool n she’s an artist and a model and legit the coolest person n she’s very gay n has great hair and is a very fuken interesting person i love her so much she’s such a sweetie59. why i joined tumblr my then boyfriend had one an i was all like... okie60. ask me anything you want AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION!

[soupiyamashuu]

SOURCE FOR SHITE BELOW THE CUT

OC ROADTRIP QUESTIONS

team one ( 1.) ) is finn, elena, keiko, and kikka

team two ( 2.) ) is dimitri, cecil, toby, and nikolai

Which OC is the driver? Where are the other OCs sitting in the vehicle?

1.) finn and elena can both drive so .. whoever fuckin feels like driving that time. keiko & kikka just sit there like ??? 2.) i think fuckin dimitri drives im cryin ( tho i think my other ones are old enough / nearly old enough to drive too ) so its just ... toby, nikolai, and cecil sitting around screaming

What form of transportation are your OCs using (RV, motorcycles, on foot, etc.)?

1 & 2.) cars.. its not quite a road trip if ur walking around

What’s playing on the radio?

1.) weird japanese music 2.) GOD KNOWS ... they probably burn shitty memes onto cds and play cryptic russian chanson songs on the aux cord or smth ... imagine ur driving down the highway and u just hear this coming from the car next to u

Imagine your OCs reacting towards staying overnight at an incredibly shady motel

1.) oh god they’d be so fucking upset ... they normally stay in fucking penthouses and luxury suites im cryin. finn’d be like “WHERES UR LUXURY SUITE :)” and the tired fuckin motel worker would be like “sir this is a motel 6″ 2.) THEY LOVE IT. they love the shitty aesthetic and take weird little pictures together with the fucking workers. they’ll like, take polaroids of the dead bugs around the room and hang them on the walls for the next people

Which OC gets homesick nearly immediately? Do they get over it?

1.) keiko and kikka. they don’t like being far away from home very often. 2.) toby, but he’d never fuckin admit it. he’d be like “UM ... Hehe! I’m ok... just dyin a bit ... heh” ( tho he’d get over it fast haha )

Imagine your OCs getting lost

1.) finn would probably cry on the inside im fuckin screaming. elena would force him to stop and go ask the random ppl in mcdonalds where they are im dyin. tho then again, they’d probs have a gps bUT- 2.) fhghfhghfg toby would probably tell dimitri the wrong road and cause them to be on like, the opposite side of the way they’re supposed to be going. then they’d just reroute and start dying on the inside/// “Getting lost is fuckin expensive!”

Which OC yells “HORSE” whenever they pass by horses?

1.) i desperately want to say it’d only be the kids but literally all of them ... theyd all just be like “OMFG HORSES ... LETS SAY HI” hfghgff 2.) toby and cecil.. they love horses im

What does your OC do to pass the time on a long stretch of road?

1.) whoever isn’t driving fucking passes the Fuck out ( if finn’s driving he’ll just be like ... ._. and die on the inside ) but otherwise they’ve got a shit ton of stuff to do. i’m so sure finn and elena would have like, 4 fucking cars [ one for both of them to drive around, one for Long Road Trips, and one for just every day driving around w/ everyone ] and the road trip car is def. a fuckin porsche cayenne with a fuckin ton of weird backseat shit for their kids im cryin. im sure theyd also just draw pictures or play games 2.) theyd either sleep, play games, or fuckin start zoning out im cryin. i feel like one of them would realize they forgot smth while On the long stretch of road.

Imagine your OCs playing I Spy

1.) finn is fucking awful at i spy and always loses, though when it’s his turn he always sees the most obscure shit. “i spy ... smth grey” “???” “That horse we just passed rn :)” 2.) toby is the god of i spy. he can fuckin guess almost everything right and he always beats everyone when they try to find what he saw im cryin

Which OC brings a guitar to serenade the other OCs as they travel?

1.) ??? 2.) none of them can play the guitar but toby would fucking bring smth weird to serenade them with. it’d be like ... a triangle. and he’d start playing fuckin “my heart will go on” all off beat

What happens when your OCs meet a hitchhiker?

1.) if they look like, innocent and theyre going close by they’ll pick them up. but otherwise Z O O M 2.) the fucking noobs in team two have read so many hitchhiker horror stories that they honestly just ... speed away without asking for details first

Which OC insists on stopping at every fruit stall to buy snacks and chat with the seller?

1.) ELENA. she’s like “oh finn THEYRE SELLING PINEAPPLES... can we buy one lol” and he’s like “hell yeah” kikka and keiko just don’t get it 2.) nikolai for fuckin sure. “toby fucking force dimitri to stop the car so i can buy an orange over there”

Which OC gets accidentally left behind at a stop? How long does it take before anyone realizes that they’re gone?

1.) oh god theyre all way too concerned to leave anyone alone hfghgf. 2.) either cecil or nikolai im crying. fuckin toby would be like “euh .... wheres X/Y” and dimitri would be like “O H  N O” im fucking crying

Which OC buys cheesy souvenirs as keepsakes and to give to their friends who didn’t come with them?

 i’m thinking they all buy that kinda shit, but i’ll go into deets here 1.) - finn probably buys weird shit for his coworkers. like they go to the USA and go on a road trip right. and theyre stopping in vegas and finn just buys like some minion figurine saying like “I WAS IN VEGAS”. and he gives it to the fucking president and he’s like “here dude.. got this for u in the states lol” - elena probably buys a mix of thoughtful gifts and weird obscure meme gifts.. kind of like the fuckin thing i said above, she’d buy weird bootleg objects and give it to her coworkers im dying. but i feel like she’d buy her students little gifts too im crying.. - keiko & kikka buy like... those shitty pencils and magnets. or they’ll buy bracelets... keiko buys “funny meme” gag gifts and kikka buys like, stuffed animals im dyin 2.) - cecil will literally go to the bootleg hidden gift stores and buy the worst quality things he sees. - dimitri probably buys those weird gag gift things OR like, weird clothes. some type of weird ass shirt like “WHAT HAPPENS IN WINNIPEG STAYS IN WINNIPEG” and of course fucking cecil and them start crying at it hgfghhfgh. - toby ... jesus christ he’ll buy anything and everything that he laughs at. either NSFW funny joke things or things that just Look weird. he’ll buy one and then he’ll go buy another for his friends im - nikolai will literally buy “I WENT TO X AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SHIRT” things. for his friends .. he literally gets those weird stretched out pennies im dying.

Imagine your OC sitting on the hood of the car with a thermos of hot cocoa in their hands, watching the sun rise

HEY ... this is pure. 1.) finn would probably fuckng fall asleep and spill all the damn hot chocolate on his lap and start crying. elena would be like “FINN WAKE UP the suns here lol”. keiko & kikka would be like .... !_! 2.) they’d all be playing like, shitty meme videos in the background and record nature “amvs” ( nmvs ? ) for their friends. it’d be like, a video of the sun coming up with “HERE COMES THE SUN” nightcore playing

Which OC is on a quest to try as many different kinds of food as they can on this trip?

1.) elena. she’d fucking be like “ok finn.. i heard they have weird fried food here in las vegas... LETS TRY IT” and then they just go eat weird shit 2.) toby, foR REAL. they go up to like, canada or smth and toby is like “LETS HAVE TIM HORTONS, BEAVER TAILS, POUTINE, ETFUCKINC” and theyre like “kay lol”

Which OC points out every strange sign they pass by on the road and reads them aloud to the amusement or annoyance of everyone else?

1.) kikka and keiko. elena is usually not paying attention to signs and finn is Looking At The Road so theyll just scream out random signs im dead. they probably fucking ask shit like “CAN WE GO SEE CRISS ANGEL” and finn is like “Ya lol” but elena is like ??? 2.) toby and nikolai. they’ll collaborate to fucking see who can say the weirder ones first. dimitri also plays along because he sees the signs fucking first most of the time.

Which OC has to stop to relieve themself every hour or so?

1.) kikka. he’s Always going. finn then gets fuckin concerned and forces him to stop drinking so much water im cryin. 2.) dimitri. cecil and nikolai get annoyed but fucking toby is like “Y E S more stopping in shitty roadside gas stations”

Imagine your OCs getting pulled into a side quest when one OC claims that they saw a cryptid

1.) i ... honestly this is something i can see. finn would see a fucking cryptid on the las vegas strip or something and force everyone to go run around looking for it. keiko would be like “DAD PLEASE” and kikka and elena would team up to say that it went into a place like fucking mandalay bay ( just so they can see the weird aquariums in there im crying ) 2.) i feel like they’d go on a roadtrip in general just to find cryptids im dying. like they all meet up in los angeles and go around the united states / southern canada to find cryptids.

What happens when the vehicle runs out of fuel in the middle of nowhere?

1.) THEYRE ALL YELLING. they call someone and the person is like “uh ... what did yall do... stop Yelling” fghfgh. theyd probably also just sit around complaining. 2.) they probably start laughing im. theyd be like “dudes.... we’re fuckin stuck in the middle of the woods HAHAHA” ( tho dimitri is like “hehe .... Help us god” and he calls the fuckin tow trucks or w/ev )

Which OC starts taking increasingly daring nature/action photos of themselves and their friends?

1.) finn. he’d like .. do a handstand on a fuckin cliff and force them to take pics 2.) all oF THEM. theyd just do weird risky shots #FORTHEVINE ( #ripvine )

Which OC starts out stressed about the amount of work they’re leaving at home, and slowly lets themself have fun?

1.) i doubt theyd be going on roadtrips with a lot of work. elena probably only goes on roadtrips during school breaks and finn usually has to request time off Ages in advance. so therefore, they don’t really have a lot of work to worry about. 2.) im actually not too sure abt this one ... considering the only time they could go on roadtrips is during breaks, they don’t have much work to do.

Imagine your OCs stopping by the side of a quiet road to go stargazing. Bonus points if they all end up falling asleep together, warm, happy, and surrounded by their friends

1.) LOVE IT ???? but theyd probably fuckin fall asleep in like 8 seconds 2.) theyd start making more nmvs but im cryin theyd all be like “I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH THESE FUCKS” fghg