I’m sorry for getting distracted like ten times before sending this but tbh it’s kinda your fault <3
Imagine you’re sitting in the backyard with Eddie while watching the kids run around and Eddie starts talking about how happy and thankful he is for the life he has now. He gets emotional with you and even starts to cry and I just wanna see him cry happy tears. LET MY BOY BE HAPPY.
Your wish is my and @munson-blurbs’s command our darling wife 💚
Words: 2.3k
[As You Wish masterlist]
Autumn in Hawkins is…well, like any other time in Hawkins, but with a crisp bite in the air. The leaves that budded in the spring and held a lively green in the summer are now beginning to turn brown, curling in on themselves as they fall off of the trees. The sun dips behind the clouds earlier and earlier, bringing many of the town’s residents inside their homes for the night.
But not your family.
You and Eddie sit side by side on the porch swing, watching your kids run around the backyard. All three of them—four, if you count Luke’s dog—are playing a rousing game of tag. Ryan and Luke have teamed up against Eliza and Patch. It isn’t much of a fair fight, considering your daughter is only three years old and the dog doesn’t have a clue about what’s happening, but no one is complaining.
Eddie’s hand finds your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. “This is pure chaos,” he whispers in your ear.
“Insanity,” you agree. Eliza shrieks giddily as Ryan picks her up and slings her over his shoulder. There was a time where you could carry Ryan; now, he’s sixteen-years-old and turning into a young man. It was as though the years had slipped through your fingers without you realizing. “What were we thinking, adding another one into this mix?”
Instinctively, Eddie splays his palm over your stomach. You’re only a month along and aren’t close to showing yet, but he still feels that protectiveness over you.
“Four kids and a dog,” he muses, shaking his head. “This is your fault, y’know?”
“My fault?”
Eddie nods, a serious look on his face. “Oh, yes. It was two against two when we just had the boys. But then you had to be so damn perfect, and so I had to give you a baby.” He presses a kiss to your cheek.
“And what about this one?” You glance at where his hand rests. “Is that my fault, too?”
“Absolutely.” Eddie grins. “I mean, you looked so beautiful pregnant with Eliza. How could I possibly let that be a one-time thing?”
You’re about to protest that it was actually a nine-month thing, but you’re interrupted by Patch barking excitedly.
The brown and white puppy runs as fast as his little legs will take him, doing laps around the three kids. He seems content when Eliza is put back down on the ground, and he can go over and check on her.
“I’m okay!” Eliza comforts with a breathless laugh.
She pets Patch on the head as he sniffs all over her small legs and feet. Luke snatches his little sister, and though he doesn’t pick her up off the ground, he holds her prisoner against his chest.
“Whatcha gonna do now, Patch?” he teases. “Remember, I’m the one who feeds you!”
Eliza squeals and wriggles against the fourteen-year-old’s chest. Ryan decides to take the attention off both of his siblings and plop down on the grass right next to Patch.
The plan works perfectly as the Australian Shepherd and Labrador mix abandons both younger Munsons and climbs onto Ryan’s chest.
Eddie chuckles from next to you. When you turn to look at him, an infectious grin has you joining in his laughter.
“We’re raising some great kids, huh?” he muses, still watching them.
“Let’s hope this next one turns out just as amazing,” you say, squeezing your hand over Eddie’s where it’s perched on your stomach.
He turns his hand around to lace his fingers with yours before bringing your hand up to his mouth. His soft, yet slightly chapped lips press kisses from your knuckles all the way to the inside of your wrist. The two of you may have been together for over six years now, but the display of affection still makes you dizzy with giddiness.
“I keep wondering about how they’re going to react,” Eddie says, nodding towards your children out on the lawn. “I think I’ve imagined them responding in every possible way.”
“Can I be the one to say it to them?” you ask. It feels a little silly, but the idea of getting to say the words “you’re going to have a baby brother or sister” to them fills you with glee.
“Of course, princess.”
It’s quiet for a few minutes as the two of you watch Eliza demonstrate to Patch how to roll over. Luke pretends to give his little sister a treat from his pocket and the girl playfully growls at him.
“Do you think Luke will wanna name this new baby?” you ask Eddie as his thumb lazily strokes the back of your hand.
“God, I hope not,” he admits with a breathy chuckle. “He’s been obsessed with WWE lately. We’ll have to name it John Cena.”
You giggle and rest your head on your husband’s shoulder. Man, this pregnancy was already hitting you with the exhaustion.
“Well, Eliza would probably pick Hercules or Megara,” you point out. “Not much better.”
Eddie leans in and kisses your forehead. “Maybe we have to institute a ‘no wrestlers and no cartoon characters’ rule this time.”
“But then Eliza wouldn’t be Eliza,” you point out. It was Ryan who had chosen the name while watching The Wild Thornberries. “So, we might have to make an exception if needed.”
“Fair enough.”
Before you can set any more ground rules, Luke calls out from the grass:
“Attention, lady and gentledad! The Amazing Eliza and her fearless pup, Patch, would like to perform their death-defying spectacular!”
You sit up a bit, watching as Eliza crouches on her hands and knees. Luke fishes a slice of bologna out of his pants pocket—you’re not sure how long it’s been in there, and you’re not sure you want to—and stands on one side of his sister.
On her other side, Ryan holds Patch in his arms, the Aussiedor wriggling in anticipation of his snack.
“And now,” Luke bellows, “we will release the beast!”
With that, your oldest son places Patch on the grass. Before all paws even touch down, the dog bolts towards Luke, leaping over Eliza with surprising grace.
Eliza jumps up, excitement written all over her cherubic face. “Mommy! Daddy! Did you see that? Did you see me and Patch?”
“We sure did, sweet pea.” You look over at Eddie to gauge his reaction, only to see that his eyes are glassy. The kids are already plotting Patch’s next trick when you ask your husband what’s wrong.
Eddie shakes his head, swiping at a tear that managed to escape. “I was just thinking about how much they smile,” he says softly. “Especially the boys. It wasn’t always this way.”
You lace your fingers with his. “I know.” You remember the early days of babysitting Ryan and Luke. They walked on eggshells around Brittany, always prepared to be dismissed or outright rejected. Each “I’m too busy to play with you,” extinguished a little more light in their eyes.
“I love you,” Eddie murmurs. “I love you for so many reasons, but I love you most of all for bringing joy back into our lives again. For reminding us how a family should be.”
Another tear rolls down his cheek as he takes in the unconditional love that surrounds him. You reach over with your free hand and wipe the tear away with your thumb.
“Every smile and little giggle from those boys has brought me so much joy ever since I met them. Seeing their general happiness grow over these last ten years has been a highlight of my life.”
You bring Eddie’s hand up and press a few soft kisses against the back of it.
“And now there’s another infectious laughter added to the mix,” Eddie says with a teary chuckle as Eliza’s wild giggle floats over to you on a crisp breeze.
“And another one soon, I’m sure,” you say, placing a hand on your lower abdomen. “I can’t picture this kid having less than an enchanting laugh.”
Eddie sniffles and nods his head. “We’re all so lucky to have you here. The best mom and the best wife.”
“Not to mention that loving and attentive father our lucky babies have. You don’t give yourself enough credit for how happy you make all of us,” you tell him.
He tries to shrug it off, but you’re persistent.
“It’s true! Every laugh and smile I saw from the boys in the early days was because of you. You’re the reason they had light in their lives those grade school years. And you’re the reason Eliza is as stubborn as a mule, but still the greatest kid who is full of love and laughter. And then there’s me.” You rest your chin on his shoulder and look up at him through your lashes. “I’ve never felt so safe before. So safe and loved. And I get to goof off and laugh everyday with my best friend. Cause I’m lucky enough that I got to marry my best friend.”
Eddie’s tears are coming in harder now. It brings a smile to your face, though, to know he realizes just how loved every single person in this family is. That the love only grows stronger every day and soon there will be a new little person to give and receive even more love in the Munson house.
Your husband clears his throat and rubs over his eyes with the sleeve of his black zip-up hoodie.
“Dad?” you hear Luke say, approaching closer. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie assures him as he tries to make sure any trace of tears is gone. “I’m okay.”
“Then why were you crying?” Eliza gasps out as she runs over to the two of you.
“Just happy,” Eddie responds, picking the three-year-old up and setting her in his lap. “I’ve got the greatest wife and kids in the world.”
“And dog,” Luke adds as Patch trots his way over. “Patch is the best.”
“And Patch,” Eddie agrees with a chuckle.
The puppy puts his front two paws on the porch swing next to you and you take the hint. You bend over and pick up the precocious canine, who happily makes himself comfortable in your lap.
Ryan comes over and sprawls out on the grass at the edge of the stone patio. He stares up at the rest of you and lets out a content sigh.
“Dad’s a big old softy,” the sixteen-year-old quips.
Eliza climbs up on the porch swing and Eddie has to wrap an arm around her waist to keep her from falling as the seat bucks from her movements.
“Daddy is not soft,” Eliza states as she pokes her father’s bony shoulder. She then rubs her hand over his stubble as if to further prove her point. “Hard and scratchy.”
“What about big and old?” Luke asks, doing his best to keep a smile at bay.
“Everyone is big compared to Liza Bean!” you butt in, reaching over with one hand to poke her belly. “She’s so teeny tiny!”
Eliza nods once in agreement.
“Right, Mama! And, yeah, Daddy is old.”
You, Luke, and Ryan can’t help but laugh at her casual words. Eddie’s jaw drops open, and he looks at all of his family members with an affronted face.
“I am only 41!” Your husband defends.
“Old,” Eliza reiterates.
Eddie grabs Eliza and clutches him close to her chest.
“Listen here, little missy!” His fingers dig into Eliza’s sides, making her squeal out in laughter. “I’m young enough to beat you up!”
“I don’t know if anyone can win against Eliza…” Ryan mutters.
“No!” Eliza shouts through her laughter. “I younger! I stronger!”
Eddie ceases his tickling and holds the three-year-old tight against his chest.
“You can never escape.”
“Bite him!” Luke suggests.
“I’ll bite back,” Eddie says. “And my teeth are bigger.”
“Don’t want to damage your dentures,” Ryan says, a smirk dancing on his face.
You and Luke can’t help but laugh, but Eddie only narrows his eyes as his oldest son and leans into whisper something in Eliza’s ear. Your daughter’s face breaks out into a grin, and she nods her head enthusiastically.
Eddie lets her down and takes a wide berth walking around her brothers. Neither of them takes their eyes off her small figure as Patch jumps down from your lap and follows the girl. While Eliza distracts them with the direction she’s walking, Eddie silently slips off the swing and is able to pounce on Ryan.
“Hey!” Ryan calls through laughter.
Despite how hard your eldest son tries to get free, Eddie is able to hold Ryan’s arms behind his back. With him subdued, Eliza launches herself at him, quickly glomming onto her biggest brother’s torso.
“We got you!” Eliza calls.
Ryan manages to get all three of them laying down on the grass, all squirming around like exposed worms looking for shelter.
Luke simply shakes his head as he sits next to you on the porch swing.
“Such children,” Luke admonishes.
He uses his heels against the patio to gently push the swing back and forth as the two of you watch the other three squabble.
“Us mature ones would never act this way,” Luke says to you.
“Never,” you agree with a chuckle.
You have no doubt something diabolical is spurning in the fourteen-year-old’s head, but you know that nothing you do or say will be able to stop it. Instead, you just lay your head down on top of Luke’s as you watch Eddie and Eliza try to keep Ryan down on the grass.
“Mature,” you repeat to yourself. “That’s definitely us.”
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27 asks! Thank you!! :}} 🔮
Oooo very cool! I hope you have fun with it!! :DDD And as for how I make a story it kind'a depends-
For Grimace, Sylvester and the rest of the gang.. well that was just my Violet team. I gave them personalities that I thought would suit them and just.. went from there I guess? <:D
For Conkeldurr, Zuora, Emboar and the 4 piglets.. well, it started with just thinking about Conkeldurr and how much I like that Pokémon. I pictured him as a Gentle giant and imagined how fun it would be to draw him with some other tiny Pokémon that he adopted. I went through the Unovan pokédex and picked a Zuora because she was small and fluffy <XD
After making a post about them I wanted to give Conkeldurr a friend. Well I like the Emboar line so hey why not do that? She can be a mama Emboar to switch it up and she can have 4 kids. Why not? Since I didn't draw her in that first post, I made the story they they went their separate ways for a time but now they're back together.
I honestly don't have solid concrete advice I can offer- I just think "hey this would be neat" and slap it on there. Or I think "hey this scenario would be fun to draw" and so I structure the events and story to make the characters run into this scenario in a reasonable way. That's really all I do.. <:D
@beryl-shade
I've seen Markiplier play it :0 Its.. well its something! <:D
(Referencing this post)
<XD I never understood why they made him Spanish, the sudden guitar noise is always a jumps care XDDD
@shiny-is-miney
Humans do not exist in any of my Octonauts AUs, nor have they ever <:/
@catain-skyler1987
I do not <:/ sorry!
@nwo-metalscottic
Daww,, thank you 🥹🥹🥹its been rough these past.. how ever many months- my health is still poor and I still am glued to my bed/the couch 24/7.. but I'm hoping to finally see some improvement soon.. and I hope you feel better too! <:))
Any who, I'm glad to hear your views on Conkeldurr! :D Some people can be kind'a harsh :x As for the Tepigs, I can see them sticking around even after evolving into Pignites. They love their mama and would have no desire to leave her.. 🥺
As for what threatens them.. when they were apart, I kind'a image any meat eating Pokémon that thinks they could take them in a fight would be a threat. Or perhaps territorial Pokémon or protective parents that would see a big Pokémon coming near and just attack on instinct.
Now that the two of them are together, they have a lot less trouble with random Pokémon. They're a much bigger challenge to take on as a team. Plus I can see Zuora walking with them disguised as a second Emboar or Conkeldurr. Creating a group that looks like three macho parents that will fiercely protect their piglets.
As for the Minecraft movie, here's the thing about the Piglins. In the actual game they turn into Zombie Piglins the moment they leave the Nether. Why are they still normal Piglins despite running through a village??
And a Netflix show... uhg.. I'm just not interested. I feel like Minecraft looses all its charm when you convert it into a show or movie. And especially if you mess up Steve as badly as they did. Jack Black.. that's the worst casting I can think of.🤦
This is so cool! It feels like it could be canon to the Pokémon universe! :DD
Also thank you so much!! :)))
I have! :0 I watched 8-bitryan play some of it! :) ALSO THANK YOU!! :DDD
@cicutagreninja
WOW!! :00 THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD I plan to return to it someday!! :)))
@astaherussy (Referencing this post)
I think I put that on almost out of habit <XD when I picture old abandoned houses I imagine notes stuck to the door warning of debts and bills that need to be paid lest the owners get evicted. So I drew that because it felt fitting!
..Only just now did I realize that the old owners were supposed to be a mystery.. if there was any at all. So having that note on the door doesn't really make sense.. 😅
ALSO WAAHG THANK YOU!! :DDD
I've seen the FNAF movie and I've seen multiple Youtubers play all the FNAF games. Though I haven't played through any of them myself. :00
As for what I thought of them.. I have a place in my heart for all the games. From the lore jumbling ruin DLC, to the classic first game, I'm a total sucker and I love them all.💞💞
The movie wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I adored the inclusion of MatPat and the intended inclusion of Markiplier. There were some aspects I didn't like and a lot of missed opportunities in my opinion. And of course the lore is all outa whack..
None the less, I think the movie is charming. And my love for FNAF has only strengthened upon the movies release :))
@i-only-created-this-to-read
Since Metagross isn't in Black/White (Its in Black/White 2) I wont be looking into that species for a bit.. and I wont be looking at Mega evolutions-
As for a Quantum slime equivalent, I have no intentions to make equivalents for all the slimes- I didn't add trubbish to be an equivalent to pinks. I just noted that Trubbish are a common slime that can eat anything, just like pinks are :0
The slimes and foods I add will be their own thing. Not intending to replicate or replace any of the canon slimes or fruits/veggies/meats from slime rancher. If that makes sense-
@petrichormeraki
I don't really have any proper name ideas for them 😅 I've just been calling them the shiny one, the normal one, the runt and the big one. XDD
Also thank you!! :DDD
Oooo that's really interesting actually! :000 That would have been a much more tame version of my Zuoras story <XDDD
@pigeonsplural
SLAKJDJ THANK YOUUU!! :)))0
*plotting noises......
(Referencing this post)
This ask will be very relevant soon.. 😈 Also thank you! :)))
@roughsketch2010
WAHGG THANK YIU SOMUCH!! :DDD
@kermit-ydafrog
Daww 🥹 Thank you! MY question is why are you so kind?? :DDD
I've heard of it and seen a lot of fanart, but i never got into it myself😅
Thank you for remembering my boundaries and respecting them! <:) And yeah that paints a pretty vivid picture in my head XDDD
@holly-opal
He would have been a better voice for Bowser then Jack Black in my opinion..
@fandomcenteral
WAAHHG THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD And its still a surprise to me that I'm considered a celebrity :00 I hope people aren't intimidated to send me asks because of that.. <:D
@muncho1234 (eye post in question)
Peso, Dashi, Tunip and Ranger Marsh have no eye bags because they have decent sleeping schedules and diets. :0 The rest of the characters either have poor sleeping schedules, deal with a lot of stress, or are very hard workers and burn up all their energy throughout the day.. :(
Oh boy 💀
@minnesotamedic186 (Eye studies post) (Kwazii and Calico Jack hug post) (Ranger Marsh jump scare post)
WAAHGG THANK YOU!!! :DD I ALWATS LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE NOTICE THE DETAILS I PUT IN!! :))))
@caronaro-flipaclip
<XD While I agree with this, I cant help but get red in the face when people like/reblog my old artwork.😅😅 And there's nothing wrong with that! It just shows how far I've come! :)
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Kiyoomi cannot believe he ever thought that Hinata Shoyo was nice.
He’d been blinded by the other boy's idiot routine, thinking that the redhead was an over-excited puppy dog, that he failed to notice that Hinata was actually the devil.
Kageyama took a sip of his beer from his place next to him, sighing. “No one ever believes me when I warn them.”
Yeah. Kiyoomi had not believed the setter when he’d first been introduced - well, reintroduced, technically Kiyoomi had gone to two years of the Youth All Japan volleyball camp with him, but he hadn’t seen the man again until Hinata had dragged him over after a match against the Alders - and Kageyama had sighed, and apologized for his evil boyfriend.
Everyone on the Jackals had been confused of course. Because Hinata Shoyo was not evil. It did not help that Hinata, at the time, had let out a loud squawk, slapped the back of Kageyama’s head, and claimed that Kageyama was the evil one. Everyone had just accepted it - Kiyoomi included.
Now, though, he knew that Kageyama was right. Hinata was the evil one.
“You’re just lucky he’s no longer as bad as he was.” Kageyama scowled. “He locked Tsukishima and Yamaguchi on the roof. In the rain. It started hailing on them.”
Kiyoomi has no idea who Yamaguchi is and only a vague idea of who Tsukishima is, but he feels a pang of sympathy. They’d been subjected to the true evil that was Hinata Shoyo as he was now being subjected to the evils of Hinata Shoyo.
Because it had been Hinata Shoyo who had grinned up at him, all innocent and sweet and fake, and told him he just had to come out to the bar with them tonight, please sakusa-san!
And Kiyoomi, the fucking idiot had agreed, because at the time he thought Hinata Shoyo was his friend.
Hinata Shoyo was not his friend.
Hinata Shoyo was not his friend because he had come in, thirty minutes late to the agreed meeting time - leaving him alone with Kageyama, who was actually a cool guy even if Kiyoomi had no idea what to talk to him about beyond “Hey good game.” - with Miya fucking Atsumu.
Miya fucking Atsumu in a mini skirt.
He took a long sip of his whiskey, staring at Miya fucking Atsumu at the bar, his head thrown back in a laugh, accentuating his collar bones with the loose top that he wore, something cropped that showed off those fucking delicious abbs, and his fucking high wasted mini skirt. A high-waisted mini skirt that left almost nothing to the imagination, just the brush of the fabric falling in sync with the curve of the blonde's ass and highlighting his frankly unfairly attractive thighs that Kiyoomi wanted to bite.
God dammit.
“At least you haven’t been handcuffed to him,” Kageyama took another sip of his beer, shooting Kiyoomi a serious look. “The second our old team captain became a cop, he stole a pair of handcuffs and forced Diachi and Suga to be handcuffed together until they finally talked out the fact they’d been in love with each other. He threw away the key. Diachi had to call his boss.”
Again, Kiyoomi had no fucking idea who Diachi and Suga were, but the sympathy was there.
Miya fucking Atsumu laughed again. He took another long sip of whiskey.
And then Hinata Shoyo turned, catching his eyes and had the audacity to wink at him.
“I’m gonna murder him,” He informed the opposite hitter’s boyfriend. “No seriously, I’m going to murder your boyfriend, Kageyama.”
“We’ve all tried.” A dark glint passed in the other's face. “Good luck.”
Kiyoomi let out a long, low breath, then stood, taking his empty glass with him to the bar. Settling into the seat beside Miya fucking Atsumu, he quickly ordered another one before turning to his setter.
Only to find Miya fucking Atsumu too busy talking to Hinata to spare him a glance.
He downed the whiskey as soon as it came out.
Hinata winked at him again, pulling Atsumu into a hug with his hands placed way too low on Atsumu’s hips. He almost let out a growl.
Yeah, Kiyoomi decided. Hinata Shoyo was not his friend.
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ms hayley ! !! do you have hc's for how eulalie would interact with the misfit's cast? I feel like she'd get along with them all save for Montresor and will but I need eulalie content 🙏🏻
omg hiii. I think you meant to say annabel’s team because you brought up monty but I GOT YOU. I got you.
With Annabel
- Annabel finds her very odd. She is a bit bothered by how unpredictable Eulalie can be with her blunt words and tendency to not properly understand all social cues. Annabel Lee is a woman used to talking to people that are playing the game she is, so this is not something she is used to.
- Eulalie is very perceptive, much to Annabel Lee's dismay. She notices when Annabel is mildly irritated by the way her eyebrows shift on her face.
- Eulalie asks Annabel to give her doll curls like her. She does not (and cannot).
- Annabel is horrified to see Eulalie putting two different tea bags into one cup. She wants to see what the flavors taste like together.
- Eulalie isn't terrible at chess. Not on Annabel's level, but she doesn't mind playing against her.
- Eulalie asks her one day why she's mean. Annabel simply responds with "Think me mean if you wish, I am simply surviving."
Then Eulalie says something like "What is the point in surviving if you're all alone by the end?"
She bites her tongue. She cannot tell Eulalie that she will never be alone as long as she has Lenore.
With Ada
- Honestly I think this could go both ways.
- Ada calls her creepy and finds her weird, but she doesn’t really dislike her company.
- Eulalie thinks she’s pretty! She likes touching Ada’s hair bow.
- Asks to borrow said hair bow. Ada only agrees because someone wanting to look like her NEVER happens.
- Ada is jealous of her singing voice.
- Eulalie mentions something about the length of the small intestine and Ada feels sick She just remembers an ax to the stomach.
- Eulalie tells her that she’s pretty a lot and Ada gets kinda mad bc she assumes Eulalie is lying to her because of her tone/the way she speaks.
- “Why would you think you’re not pretty?”
“Empty flattery will not get you anywhere with me!”
“It’s not empty. It’s quite full, really. You are pretty.”
- And she just struggles to believe it internally because compared to Annabel she doesn’t really feel pretty. But of course she just haughtily laughs and goes like “I know! Finally, you took notice!”
With Prospero
- An unlikely duo. Eulalie is interested in his medical knowledge. He is mildly concerned about how much she knows about the human body despite having no medical career.
- Eulalie's humming kinda reminds him of his mother. He'd rather die than say that.
- She claims that he is mean too, but not as mean as Annabel. He takes mild offense.
- She tries to curl a piece of her hair around her finger and put it in front of her face to copy his hairstyle.
- Reading buddies. She'll blurt out a random fun fact about bones or something and he'll nod and add one of his own. Freaks.
- Eulalie insists that when he's with her, all the "survival games" are set aside. She can tell it stresses him out. His hands tense up when he holds objects, and it's obvious even with the gloves. He's a jaw clencher too.
With Montresor
- As good as you'd expect it to be, really.
- He calls her 'little miss' because she's anything but little. She literally would not care if it were anyone else but him.
- He yanks at her sleeves because they're long and easy to grab.
- "Why is everyone with great hair so mean?"
"Aw, that's real kind of ya to say, little miss."
"You’re horrible.”
- He tries to like intimidate her with close contact but she’s almost his height. Plus, she just doesn’t respond to that sort of thing.
- I think they’d be really interesting actually. He’s been compared to the devil, is considered demonic…and she has an interest in the occult. Imagine that.
With Will
- Honestly, not as bad as you might first think.
- She sort of pities him, but not really. He knows the choices he makes are bad.
- She’s happy to share things with him if he stares for a while. He’ll never dare ask for something, just kinda stare like a puppy until it’s offered. She won’t be cruel for no reason.
- She actually likes hearing about his writing journals.
- Will starts to instinctively study her face and body to learn how to become her even though he has no reason to. She can tell by the way he mumbles her words after she speaks sometimes.
- They’ll be sitting in silence and she’ll suddenly ask him what his loneliness feels like. Like uncomfortable questions that he can’t/doesn’t want to answer. But his reaction is enough of an answer.
- Allows him to turn into her so she can braid his hair.
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Today's therapy session (I'm finally doing therapy for my DID with someone *so* competent)
We started talking about the surgery and then spent most of the session talking about my DID, the shame that I feel regarding it and my doubts.
Bullet list of things I want to remember
My T said that Amely (part who's loyal to our family and misses them greatly) probably needs some of my parts to feel like the parents she longs for in order to not miss my real parents anymore (hearing this felt so 🥺, like my T truly gets us)
It would be helpful to have a part who can mediate between parts so that we function better (I suggested that Dirk could do it because I remembered a message he once left us, how he wants us to cooperate again but later when I looked it up, I found out that it was actually Kiran who left that message) (I just remembered that my therapist said Kiran is a cool name and that he wants to look up where it comes from because he's never heard of it before. Before I found a message from Kiran I hadn't heard of it either. I actually had to google if it was a real name but yeah, it is. And this is not the first part with a name I never heard before (see Anatolia).
My therapist said that it is rare for complete final fusion to happen but that we can learn to work together as a team
He calls my parts "Personen" ("persons") which feels a lot more compassionate than what former therapists called my parts ("Zustände" ("states") or "Figuren" ("figures))
He also said there's no need for shame, that everybody has parts but that mine are just more seperate which can be exhausting to deal with
He says that I could also view my DID as something that helped me to survive and I said that yeah, if I hadn't been able to split off these experiences I wouldn't be able to function to which he replied, "If you hadn't been able to do this, you would be dead." Which man. This man is speaking the truuuuth
Overall he just has such a kind and compassionate way to talk about my DID, it makes me feel so accepted and seen
My highlight of the session:
Me: "But what if I'm just imagining having these parts, what if it's all just in my head?"
My therapist:
(Yes, he quoted Dumbledore, not without a remark about how we're going to ignore the critique regarding J.K. Roling for a moment)
Yeah, I voiced that I'm scared that my first DID therapist might have pressured me to think I have DID (which in hindsight, no, this didn't happen). And my T said that it's there now. These parts inside me and the group chat we use to leave each other notes. So we can work with it. Do I still feel like a faker? Yeah, but I feel less "insane" now
I can't believe I'm really doing therapy for my DID. I'm actually so touched by how compassionate my therapist is that I had to thank him today, for taking away my shame. I truly trust him and I really don't trust easily. Part of me can't wait to finally tackle the DID and learn how to live together, as a team. Or a family? 🥺😭
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