#immediately dies for 3 minutes after this. great parenting

[surviveds]

buck adopts a fifteen year old named ivy just a few months before the lightning strike. their father dies on a call and the only other family they have is a transphobic grandmother who isn't even in a position to take care of a child because of her health, so bobby and hen help buck arrange for them to stay with him, temporarily at first... but they bond, of course, and buck ends up becoming their official foster parent.

[roploem]

Some Shen Yuan Toddler AU:

What if Shen Yuan suddenly poofed into existence as a toddler in PIDW after he died?

Like, no system (because I don’t see how that would help or whatever…).

He just suddenly fell into the middle of an important Cang Qiong Peak Lord Meeting and stopped the arguing with his sudden appearance.

Everyone just freezes at the sight of some toddler sitting in the middle of their table looking dazed and confused. Everyone’s minds are going in different directions:

LQG: Demon baby!! Must kill!!

SQH: SYSTEMM!!!! THIS DIDNT HAPPEN IN MY NOVELLL!!! DONT TAKE MY POINTSSS!! THIS WASNT MY FAULTTTT!!!

SQQ: Where did this… thing… come from???

Then after the initial shock, MQF checks for injuries and demonic qi, WQW’s sword also being used to check for anything they can’t detect.

Then after all of the testing they just settle on the story the kid told them. (Which was mainly bullshitting so he doesn’t get killed.) it basically summarizes to a demon attacking his village and the demon hitting him with magic and him appearing here the next minute. (He tells them his parents died so that they don’t try and return him to some nonexistent parents)

And I imagine after that all of the peak lords slowly become more and more attached to their chronically ill mystery toddler and now all of the disciples are witnessing the Peak Lords act like divorcees who are still fighting a custody battle.

Also, I think that Shen Yuan appears a couple years before Binghe does. So when Shen yuan meets a cute little bun waiting to join Cang Qiong a few years later, he tells his guardians about him. Which makes them go into protective mode immediately.

I believe in the end there are 3 most likely candidates for Shen Yuan’s custody:

YQY: He is the sect leader….

SQH: He and the kid found out they are from the same hometown! Plus, they can speak the same language and can communicate easily!

MQF: Our poor baby has a chronic illness!! He needs to be under constant surveillance!

SQQ is close 4th, but he just isn’t that great with kids.

(The way I would kill for a fic of this, but I’m too lazy… actually… I might… idk, don’t hold me to it.)

[fuckyeahisawthat]

i rewatched Dune Part Two recently and one of the most striking shots for me was the one of the Fremen attacking the Sardaukar on wormback, while holding the Atreides flag.

Like, we just saw the Sardaukar forming up with their numerous flag bearers, even trying to maintain their flags raised after the nuclear detonation (in a shot that mirrored the famous "Raising the Flag in Iwo Jima" statue to me btw, nice nod to imperialism).

And then the Fremen arrive, but they're not bearing their colors, their flags, not fighting in their own names, instead it's the Atreides colors. The colors of their new, imperially appointed rulers. New pawns in the warfare between Great Houses, soldiers instead of freedom fighters. Urgh. Wish i could make gifsets.

Yeah yeah yeah it's horrifying!! You are watching a national liberation movement get successfully co-opted by a superpower and it's awful!

They did such a good job making it feel creepy and foreboding when the Atreides symbols and motifs start re-appearing in the last hour or so of the movie. The second Gurney shows up he immediately re-introduces the Atreides way of looking at the world, and it's disturbing how easily Paul falls back into thinking like that, seeing the planet and its people as tools to be used in an inter-imperial power play. (It's right after Gurney tells him about the family nukes that Paul has the signet ring out for the first time since the beginning of the second act and we're like OH NO.) This is before he drinks the Water of Life; he is already starting to think like a colonial duke again some time before he declares himself one.

After the opening montage where we see the piles of bodies being burnt, we don't see the stylized Atreides hawk symbol for most of the movie. The next time it appears is on a vault of nuclear weapons, which are never treated as anything but a curse. It's so important that Stilgar and Chani are with Paul and Gurney when they open the vault so we can see their horror at these weapons and the gleeful, casual way Gurney talks about them. Chani is also seeing an aspect of Paul that she hasn't really witnessed before--Paul, the Future of House Atreides--and she does not like it.

And then of course the whole ending battle is making the point over and over again with repeated imagery that Atreides and Harkonnens are exactly the fucking same. All the imagery from the initial Harkonnen attack on Arrakeen in Part One--which at least shows the Atreides as brave in the face of overwhelming odds--gets inverted into something that's supposed to make us shudder. That scene of Gurney hacking his way through the crowd of soldiers with someone carrying the Atreides flag behind him? Nightmarish.

All of this stuff is super important to what the movie is trying to say because it is very very easy for us to buy into the Atreides' propaganda about themselves being the good guys. If we're paying attention to what Chani tells us in the literal first 3 minutes of the first movie, we already know we should be viewing them with a bit of critical distance. And while I think there is plenty in the first movie to make us side-eye their noble image (Leto saying we will bring peace to Arrakis?? fucking yikes dude), it's easy to forget that because Leto generally seems like a good dude to the people close to him, and he dies tragically so we never get to see much of what kind of colonizer he would have become. And I think it's easy to start thinking well if only Leto the more reasonable parent had lived then things wouldn't have turned out this way.

But fucking desert power?? That was Leto's idea. This is Leto's dream being realized. The plan was always to use the Fremen as pawns in the power struggle between the Great Houses. Maybe not quite in the way that Paul does cause he definitely goes off with it, but the end result is just as much a product of Atreides imperialism as it is of Bene Gesserit religious colonialism. The Atreides aren't inherently any more noble or benevolent than the Harkonnens in their intentions, they just have better PR. But the end result is exactly the same: a pile of dead bodies being set on fire.

[fantasybabygirlslutsworld]

The Realm's Light - 3

Part one

Part two

Safe to say, the celebration of Princess

Mariana's birth would be far grander than her own parents's wedding. King Jaehaerys I of his name had announced that a grand feast with hunting and tourneys would commence for a month inviting all the lords and ladies of the seven kingdoms and free cities to honor the birth of his great granddaughter.

While preparing for the grand feast for their immediate family, Queen Alysanne had questioned her eldest son about the whereabouts of her other grandson.

" Baelon, where is Daemon? It's been more than 6 hours after the babe was born but he hadn't come to see his niece till now." Prince Viserys had already sent a guard to inform his brother about Princess Aemma's labour.

" You know about Daemon, mother. When informed about Aemma's labour, he immediately flew on Caraxes to Dragonstone to fetch a dragon egg for his little niece or nephew ." Crown Prince Baelon replied to his mother." We should soon find a match for that boy so that he can embrace his responsibilities." Queen Alysaane gruffly said.

"Mother, did you invite Vaegon and Maegelle to the feast." Prince Baelon asked his mother. Ever since Vaegon Targaryen became an archmaester in Citadel and Maegelle as a Septa to the faithful seven,their visits to king's landing had been limited.

" Vaegon informed that he will not be able to attend today's gathering but he will come during the tourney next month to see his grandniece and sweet Maegelle had gone to a village near the riverlands to se fellow followers." Queen Alysanne said to her son .

After the death of her two daughters, Princesses Alyssa and Viserra, Septa Maegelle had became the only comfort for the old queen. "I hope that the birth of the little Princess may unite our family,Baelon." The old queen said to the spring Princ.

The crown Prince agreed with his mother as the house of the dragon was slowly starting to break away after the death of Prince Aemon soon followed by Prince Baelon given the title of Prince of Dragonstone instead of  giving it to Princess Rhaenys,Prince Aemon's only daughter.

If the problem was not solved then, there would be a future filled with destruction for House Targaryen.

As the news of the birth of his niece soon reached him , Prince Daemon closed his eyes and did nothing but smile for a minute. The gods had granted his prayers. Now,it is time for him to fulfill his part in the plan . But first,he needed to find a suitable dragon egg for his darling niece.

Words are that the people in the village near Dragonstone saw a dragon flew to an isolated cave a moon ago. Prince Daemon went alone to look for the dragon and see if there is any egg with it. As he went near the cave a familiar pungent smell of blood hit him. Someone must have died here recently.

When he went inside the cave,a dragon was seen lying motionlessly with no external injuries with it's silver scales glittering in the darkcave. 'It must have died from childbirth ' Prince Daemon thought . However,Something had caught his eye before he could fully examine the dragon. In the corner lays an egg so white that it brightens the whole cave.

Prince Daemon took the egg in his hands and decided that it would be perfect for his Issa dōna hāedar. He then went outside the cave and called Caraxes. The Blood Wyrm roared and landed near his rider. Prince Daemon touched it's about and said " Are you excited to see īlva tolie half, Caraxes?". After saying that, he claimed on his dragon to attend the family gathering tonight and meet a special someone.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The preparations for the celebration had kept every servants on their toes . Lord Corlys Velaryon and his children had arrived to king's landing and was now sitting with King Jaehaerys, Queen Alysanne,Prince Baelon and Princess Rhaenys in the royal dining hall prepared for the occasion while the Velaryon siblings were taken to their chamber to sleep by heir wet nurses .

" Uncle Baelon,do you know where is Daemon ? He was not present here during Aemma's labour " Princess Rhaenys questioned . Before the spring Prince could reply, " I told you,Baelon. That son of yours doesn't care about his duties and was only interested in jousting and riding his dragon. Yesterday, I had gotten a velry good proposal from Lord Roland Royce of the Vale to make a betrothal with his only daughter to Daemon." Queen Alysanne angrily said to her son.

" I know about Daemon, mother. Even if he doesn't seem to care about the royal court, he is loyal to our family. Even now, he had gone to Dragonstone to fetch an egg for his niece. He should be coming now at anytime. And about Lord Royce's proposal, let Daemon decide about it, mother." Prince Baelon softly said to his mother. Before the Queen can reply, a piercing roar of a dragon echoed through

the walls. a knight had entered the hall and said " My King, Prnce Daemon had arrived at the dragon pit with his dragon".

" Well,  Daemon had chosen to come at the perfect timing with us speaking about him,  grandmother." Princess Rhaenys slyly replied. " Inform Prince Daemon to  come here soon." King Jaehaerys ordered. " Yes, y King " the royal gaurd replied and went away.

Meanwhile, Prince Viserys and Princess Aemma were getting ready for the celebration in their own bedchambers while their newborn daughter lied in the baby cot in her parents hared chamber.

Suddenly, the footsteps of a person echoed through the palace halls and the person stopped at the chamber where the young Princess was present.

The door of the chamber was opened by the royal gaurd to let the person in and the first thing that caught his eye was the

Cot made of mahogany wood.He then made his way and stopped right infront of the babycot.

In the moonlight,it can be seen that the person stnding there was the rogue Prince himself in a red tunic and black breaches. He was intensely gazing at the small figure lying on the cot in a white gown made of fine silks,her platinum blonde hair symbolising her as a Targaryen. That the same hot dragon blood coursing through his body is also in hers made him wondered.

As if sensing his presence, the littlest Princess opened her eyes to see the intruder.A gasp left Prince Daemon upon seeing her eyes.One emerald green and another Targaryen violet just like how his mother, Princess Alyssa, once had.

Now seeing the same eyes on his niece made his heart warm and a smile tugged in his face. " Welcome naejot īlva lentor, issa dōna darling . " Prince Daemon said to his now wiggling niece.

" I see my daughter had met her kepus already. " Prince Viserys had said while walking into the chamber. " Well, you all had been here from her. She must have yearned to see someone younger while surrounded by older people, brother "

Prince Daemon snarkily replied.

" I am only 20 summers old, Daemon. Besides who are you calling old when you yourself was going to be an adult?"

Prince Viserys retorted. " Oh Please! Don't start your verbal brawl in the presence of my daughter. I don't want her to bicker like you both." Princess Aemma intervened and said.

" Please,I had no wish to start a brawl with my brother after flying for hours on Caraxes to and from the Dragonstone. But it was so much worth it doing for my darling niece." Prince Daemon said while looking at the new addition of his family who was holded by his brother .

" Do you want to hold her, brother?" Prince Viserys asked his brother. " What if she might break in my hold?" Prince Daemon whispered. " She is not a glass,Daemon. She will not break" princess Aemma chuckled and said.

Carefully,the rogue Prince took his niece from his brother and held her in his arms. The young Princess looked at his hair and face and showed her toothless smile. The rogue Prince smiled back. " So, my daughter likes her uncle very much that she smiled for the first time." Princess Aemma said with amusement.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door and a kingsguard entered the chamber to inform that everyone of House Targaryen was present and now waiting for them. " Let's attend the family gathering, brother. Word of warning, I heard that grandmother was working on your betrothal to Lord Royce's only daughter." Prince Viserys said to his brother before walking towards the dining room with his wife.

" She can try but I won't marry anyone of her choosing " Prince Daemon muttered while following his brother while holding his niece.

" Stop talking, you both and Daemon, I knew Rhea Royce from childhood and she is an excellent leader and skilled in hunting." Princess Aemma whispered to them . Soon they reached the entrance of the royal dining hall while the guard outside announced their presence.

" Prince Viserys and his Princess consort Aemma of House Targaryen had arrived to the hall.Prince Daemon Targaryen, wielder of dark sister had arrived to the chamber."

As soon as he announced, They had entered the hall and sat on their respective seats in the table . King Jaehaerys had sat on the head of the table with Lord Corlys on the other end of the table while the old queen sat beside her husband and across her older son with Princess Rhaenys beside her husband and Pricess Aemma on her other side and across Prince Daemon.

Prince Viserys sat beside his brother and father.Prince Daemon can be seen holding his niece who was staring at the huge chandelier hanging above .

" I am glad that most of our family had  gathered here for celebrating the birth of my great granddaughter today. In her honour, let's toast for her good health and hope she brings glory to our house. Hear,hear." King Jaehaerys announced.

" Hear, hear " Everyone drank the wine in their glasses except Prince Daemon as he was only 15 summers old and still a child in their eyes. "Prince Viserys, I congratulate you for the birth of your daughter and may she grow with beauty and happiness." Lord Corlys said.

" Thank you,Lord Corlys,we are happy to see you here after sailing for a day from Dreamfort . " Prince Viserys replied back.

" Cousin,my husband and I have prepared a gift for our niece. I hope she likes it in the future " Princess Rhaenys said while signalling someone to present the gift." Oh my goodness! These are the rare type of pearls which possess different colours when shown in the sunlight " Queen Alysanne exclaimed looking at the chest of pearls in various colours. " We have imported them from the Braavos which took almost a week of sailing" Lord Corlys proudly said. " We express our gratitude for your wonderful gift, Lord Corlys " Princess Aemma said to them.

" Son , I too have prepared a gift for my granddaughter. I have named her as the Lady of the spring manor which is in the north where your mother liked to spend time " The crown Prince said to his son with mirth in his eyes." Thank you, father " Prince Viserys replied.

" Now, if you all have finished,can we start the dinner?" Queen Alysanne playfully questioned them. " Wait, grandmother .what is a Targaryen family gathering without dragons?. I too have gift for my darling niece. The one which will be the most precious to her than jewels and manors." Prince Daemon said. Everyone except Prince Baelon was puzzled at what his gift was . One of the guards came forward and kept a Iron container in the middle of the table. Prince Daemon handed his niece to her mother and opened the container took out an object.

In his hand,lays a dragon egg so white, that it shined brighter than those pearls. Everyone was perplexed at the sight of the egg ." I had never in my life saw a dragon egg of this colour. Where did you obtained this egg ,boy" King Jaehaerys questioned his grandson. " I had retrieved it from a dead dragon in a cave near Dragonstone, grandfather. It must have recently died from childbirth." Prince Daemon replied.

" Thank you, brother. It would be the most precious gift to my daughter anyone can give to her. " Prince Viserys thanked his brother. " And Aemma and I have decided a name for our child " he said to everyone present there . " And the name of my daughter will be Mariana Targaryen ,the first of her name , the Realm's Light. " Prince Viserys proudly announced."

Everyone was overjoyed about learning her name and toasted for another time but both Prince Baelon and Prince Daemon got emotional upon hearing her name. Princess Alyssa had always wished to name her daughter that but never gotten chance. Prince Baelon smiled at his eldest son for gratitude while Prince Daemon looked at his niece with a strange gaze.

The celebration continued as everyone shared shared some of the interesting incidents and ate dinner with whole heart . As wished upon, this gathering had made House Targaryen stronger than ever and hope it will remain stronger at difficult times.

Only future holds the answer to the questions.

Part four Part five Part six

___________________________________________

Author's Note: I hope you like the chapter done by my amateur writer self.

Do vote for my story if you like it.

@snowtargaryen @sadmonke @girl-of-multi-fandoms @cwallace02sblog

@bitchycollectorvoid @immyowndefender @kpopstanforlife2007 @hc-geralt-23 @beebeechaos

@ayamenimthiriel

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 meals/food-related moments?

have a good day :)

oh ho ho ho so I see you have decided on a nuclear option. Well, do I have just the thing for you

Kayoko telling Kenji that Shiro Talks About Him in What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2, Ep. 11

Shiro has a really hard time verbally expressing love, especially about Kenji to Kenji. Which is why you, me, Kenji, everybody has to understand Food As Love is Shiro's entire shtick. In season 1, Shiro outed himself to Kayoko because she thought he might attack her and she calmed down about Shiro immediately after she found out he was a lawyer. And we see Kayoko ask Shiro about Kenji from time to time. BUT in Season 2, Kayoko sees Kenji in the supermarket and instantly recognizes him off of Shiro's description of him alone. And she treats him like a celebrity because of how much Shiro talks about Kenji. So you can imagine that I was absolutely bawling my fucking eyes out when Kayoko said this to Kenji at dinner:

"But you know, I already knew your preferences so well. When I go shopping with Kakei-san, he talks about you all the time...He says it with a smile"

Complete with flashbacks of Shiro talking about Kenji, what food he likes, why it's okay to get something a little more expensive. Kenji is a loud, proud, more femme gay man who is not able to hide his queerness the way that Shiro has. Kenji is also an incredibly patient and understanding man who knows Shiro is grappling with a lot of internalized homophobia, the weight of knowing he can't give his parents the grandchildren they want, parents who struggle with his sexuality. Kenji knows that Shiro loves him, but we know he can be hurt by it sometimes. So Kenji hearing from Kayoko how much Shiro talks about him was something that was so fucking needed. Not necessary, but needed. And I could not hold back my tears to see Shiro smiling away talking to Kayoko about his boyfriend, because he has so few people he can and will do that with.

Making "Magic", Our Dining Table (Bokura No Shoutaku), Ep. 5

gif by @bubblegeon

gif by @troubled-mind

Absolutely one of my favorite moments in the entire series is Tane appearing with this instant ramen package in his hand asking if Minoru wants to make "magic". I love it for so many reasons. I love it because Minoru has sacrificed so much in his life to help take care of Tane and because of that, because of who Minoru is, because of who his father is, because of who his mother is Tane is an extremely extremely emotionally aware kid. My sweet, sweet, beautiful baby boy can tell something is up with Yutaka after they run in to his older brother at the grocery store, and he can tell something is up with Minoru after they meet with his ex-girlfriend at the restaurant. And Tane repays all the care he is giving by these two by trying to find a solution he thinks will help make them feel better. Which is of course to make ramen fried rice.

Now. There is even more to this than Tane just picking up this meal his mother used to make a lot. Because Tane's mother died when he was two. He would have little to no memories of his mother, but Minoru would. Which means Minoru would have had to teach him this, carrying on her memories, her stories, her comfort to his baby brother. Minoru teaches Tane how to smash the ramen the same way their mother taught Minoru to do it. AND there is even more to this that is not really addressed but is something I (and I'm sure others) realized a bit later. Because I have made this meal multiple times and it is...so easy. I mean, 20 minutes rice in the rice cooker the day before, smash the noodles, I microwave them for 3 minutes, drain the water, and then five minutes later I've got a complete dish. It takes almost zero energy and it is great for my high pain days or my super low days. Minoru talks about his mother being sick, and how she really didn't let on to it. But the ramen fried rice is a good indication to me that she was hiding her exhaustion, her illness, her pain with fun, easy meals like this that require minimal effort and energy.

Amane having dinner with Ryuji's family, If It's With You (Kimi to Nara Koi Wo Shite Mite Mo), Ep. 3

gif by @jimmysea

I will never not love characters who are deeply deeply sad and hide the pain they've suffered and the melancholy they carry with them behind kindness and smiles and light. Amane brightens up every room he walks in to...well, every room that has anyone else but Ryuji in it. Ryuji is incredibly incredibly good at seeing straight through to Amane's core and calling him out on trying to hide himself and his feelings away. But here, in Ryuji's home Amane is well and truly feeling happy. He is understanding what family can look like, what family can feel like. Something he has never known because his parents worked so much he always ate alone. Amane deserves to experience these things, and I am so glad that he was able to have this moment because if and when Ryuji gets comfortable with dating Amane and brings him home again, it's good to know that Ryuji's family is kind and that they already know him, love him, and are comfortable enough to tease him immediately so Amane won't have to worry about their reaction.

Charn eating with Tinn's family, Laws of Attraction, Ep. 5

The fucking!!!!!!! GAHHH!! As much as we have all obsessed over the chemistry between Jam and Film, how hot Maya and Rose are, how unhinged Charn are Nawin are, how fucking awesome the grandmother is, we really do not talk enough about the fact that Laws of Attraction is first and foremost a tragedy. In the short time we had with her we knew Tonkhao was happy, and funny, and loved and she was just trying to help ease the burden her uncle had by going shopping for him and died as a result. That's Tinn's baby girl, he's raised her since infancy, and he lost her in such a horrific way. I reblogged something about grief the other day that talked about how grief in fiction and grief in reality are so different because grief in reality is so mundane, your world may be turning on it's axis but you still have to go grocery shopping. Stories like this one do more to bridge that gap, Tonkhao is dead, but you still have to find a lawyer, Tonkhao is dead but you still have to run your restaurant, Tonkhao is dead...Tonkhao is dead. And her memory and the love her family had for her is being tarnished in the news, this familly's grief is on full display, is questioned, is attacked. And I really loved this moment and the conversation that Charn has with Tinn immediately afterwards where Tinn talks about Tonkhao and how he wants her to be remembered, and I love this so deeply for what it shows about grief. That you can't just turn it on and off, here they are: grandma, Tinn, and Charn in a good mood, chatting away and then all of a sudden watching Charn eat and enjoy the soup just triggers a memory of Tonkhao that brings a ton of pain bubbling to the surface out of nowhere. Tonkhao haunts the narrative, even after justice has been served, she is still there with them, her little doll sitting in a chair at Tinn and Charn's wedding.

Jim shares a beer with Li Ming, Moonlight Chicken, Ep. 7

There is something about the death of a community pillar rocks the community at large, and how the tragedy and grief of losing someone that important to so many people can finally spur people in to action. Jim has been watching Li Ming grow up before his very eyes, but he's like many other parent/guardians and has spent so much of the show having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that Li Ming is growing up. Jim spends so much of his time stressing out about Li Ming, his financial situation changed dramatically probably right around the time he took Li Ming in, Jim is worried about how much Li Ming has struggled and may continue to struggle and is having a hard time not blaming himself for that. And finally we get the release of the all the stress and tension with Jim acknowledging Li Ming is stepping in to adulthood. I love everything about this scene, I love the acknowledgement, I love the apology, I love Jim teasing Li Ming about Heart, and I especially love the conversation about Jam because I think it shows Jim that Li Ming is capable of complex, nuanced, adult thoughts and feelings. He helped with the funeral, he stood up in support of Heart, he talked back against injustice, Li Ming spent so much of this show coming in to his own, and this is the moment all that work, misery, stress, anger bears fruit for the single most important relationship in Li Ming's life.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[mossyivy]

Ever since you mentioned Chris’s wife having a friend who just HATES him, it’s been stuck on my mind.

The two of you would probably be highschool friends; Let’s call her Isabella, Bella (Bella? Where the hell have you been loca? 🤪) for short. That girls seen you dragged through the mud and back. She was the one that saved you from you last husband, the one that consoled you at 3 AM as you came knocking on her door. It was the last straw. You were done with him being so controlling, abusive, and toxic with you and your little boy.

You didn’t even have a plan in mind—you just packed up your things one night and drove. You’d deal with all the other divorce shit later, you just needed to get out. It was pouring rain, parking your little Honda in your best friend’s driveway and quickly picking up Ollie in your arms and shielding him from the cold heavy rainfall.

Ollie was only a year old, still so small, way too small to go through this. You knocked and after a minute or so, the door finally opened. You just broke down sobbing, asking Bella to please help. If you could just crash at her house for a couple days while you got back on your feet you’d be so grateful. You’d pay her once your check hit.

Being the best person in the entire world, Bella invited you in. Grabbing the things from your car so you could carry Ollie and stay warm in the living room, letting you stay in an old spare bedroom. You just told her everything. What he’d do, how you just packed up, how you were the worst mother in the world for allowing your baby to see that.

It had been almost a decade since that, and Bella still couldn’t get over that day. You’d be forever grateful for her, still paying her back and doing whatever sweet gesture to keep your promise. Ultimately, you moved on and started dating Chris. Your knight in shining armor, the man of your dreams. Bella was SOOOOOOOOO worried. That girl conducted an entire background check on him, literally finding out he had a sister before you did. Finding his old high school graduation pictures even.

Oh, she’d hate him. Send him nasty glares across the room, talk to him, maybe even slightly threaten him when you left to go to the bathroom or something. She was like an eagle watching over him. Even at your wedding, she was still so skeptical, practically bore a hole through his face from how hard her stares were. Bella knew how great of a guy he was, but she still had that fear. She couldn’t let you get dragged down by another man. Not on her watch. She’d make sure you’d never go through that again.

- Anon! 🎀

(Bella is the kind of friend you need in your life.)

I could imagine how worried and horrified she'd be when you came to tell her about this loud mouthed douche from work who never shuts up when you're trying to do your comms job. How you ran into him in the office one day after hearing someone call him Redfield, recognizing the name immediately, and you walked up to him. Ripping him a new one about "shutting the fuck up on radio when you're relaying something important." And he just kinda stood there like a deer in headlights because you wouldn't let him get a word in otherwise.

AND NOW SUDDENLY YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH THE GUY!? You tell her not to worry, it's not a date. He just wants to apologize for being a dick. But Bella knows better by now. You don't talk much about him because even you could tell it was worrying Bella. But whenever he came up his name went from "that asshole" to "Redfield" to "Chris" so quickly... She saw this before with Turner, your ex-husband, and she refused to let it happen again. Not as her duty of your best friend and definitely not as Ollie's aunt/Godmother.

So she'd do a full background check on him, PAID HUNDREDS TO GET EVERYTHING SHE COULD ON THIS MAN! She even got his record of discharge for the Air Force and started making calls... Found out he became the guardian of his little sister in 1994 and took care of her after their parents died. Found all his old S.T.A.R.S. members teammates names or at least the ones who were alive. Called a few people posing as someone looking into him for a job. The only one who was willing to talk was Rebecca but she just seemed so nice Bella couldn't take advantage of that...

You understood Bella's reasoning but it did feel extensive... You got into an argument over it. Didn't speak for a few days. But you came around and you both apologized. You knew why she did it and didn't blame her but at the same time she had to let you make your choices. You're both adults, she can't stop you. But you'd still reassure you that nothing was going on... It's not like that!

And then you were out with her and Ollie getting lunch one afternoon and you just so happen to run into Chris and Claire.

You barely knew anything about Claire but she seemed so excited to get to meet you. "My brother won't shut up about you! It's so nice putting a face to the name. You're just as pretty as he described." :)

Oh... Oh. It is like that...

This is also when Chris gets to meet Ollie for the first time. The man's weakness is babies. He's infatuated with the kid (who's about a year and a few months now) Ollie's excited cause new person. Claire and Bella are chatting each other up but Bella's watching Chris like a hawk as he dotes on Ollie and talks with you. Apologizing for Claire's habit of blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. All while feeling the glare from Bella as she talked with Claire. You'd have to explain that.

Then Chris asks you out again, it's been a few times now and you've hardly talked about your past with him. He's told you what he could of himself. So... you told him everything. All about Turner and all the horrible shit he put you and your son through. You had a lot of baggage if Chris wanted this to go anywhere. A baby and an abusive soon-to-be ex-husband. But he saw it as you just being strong and doing the right thing for yourself and your kid. And he said he wanted to be with you. Even with all the problems.

Bella was still so skeptical for a while until Chris ended up helping you get in contact with a good lawyer after your ex-husband tried getting partial custody of Ollie. No way in hell would the 3 of them let that sweet little boy go anywhere near him. Chris had a little bit of experience after getting custody of his sister. Thankfully everything worked out when you could prove that he'd do do more harm than good in court and you were granted full custody and even a restraining order against him for both you and Ollie.

Everything felt right now. You'd been dating Chris for 6 months, Ollie was almost 2. Bella started to ease up on the hatred (even deep down she knew she didn't actually hate Chris but she just can't stop being on high alert). You find out you're pregnant with a little boy with Chris and he's honestly so happy he gets to be a dad. Besides Ollie who adamantly calls him daddy. It's nice to finally see you happy with someone who cares about you and treats you like gold.

Finally you get Bella's blessing during her maid of honor speech at the wedding and from then on it's just snarky back and forth between the two. Still says she hates him but she doesn't. It's obvious.

[haletwfic]

New Life

Derek Hale x Reader

Inspired from Teen Wolf Movie Teaser Trailer.

This is just for fun. My grammar is very bad bcs english is not my language.

-

Everything went great right after you graduated from high school. You applied job at local restaurant, Stiles became an FBI agent, Scott worked full time at Deaton’s animal clinic, Lydia went to college alongside with Malia. Derek? He moved to New York before you graduated. Actually the last time you saw him when you all at Mexico. He left with Braeden and leave you without a goodbye.

Oh, you still lived with Noah, Stiles’ father. You felt you owe him everything right after your parents death, he took care of you and let you live with him and Stiles. And you working instead of went to college so you could gave him some money as a gratitude for everything he did for you.

Everything hasn’t the same. You barely hang out with Scott, almost lost contact with everyone, but still manage to call your cousin to check him out. And it’s been three years.

You closed the restaurant because it’s already 9 PM. You walked out and you found Scott stood beside his motorcycle.

“YN!” He looked so happy when he saw you. He approached you and wanted to hug you. You smiled and hugged him immediately.

You pulled the hug. “How’s Deaton?”

He frowned. “I came far away from clinic just to get to you and that was your first question?”

You laughed and so did he. “I know you’re doing good. How’s your parents doing?”

He smirked. “Felt so different having my dad living in my mom’s but I’m happy they’re back together again. What about you and Noah?”

You sighed. “He’s getting old you know. He’s missing Stiles so bad. And that’s why i still live there so he wouldn’t be lonely. At least his nephew got some spark on that house.” “You got something to say to me? Because I’m going home and I’m bringing my car.” You glanced at your car.

“Oh about that…,” he looked so nervous. “Derek is back to town.” He paused. “He still live on that loft, in case you want to know. Alright, see ya YNN!” He left you, and you walked to your car. Damn. Derek is in Beacon Hills?

You immediately drove your car to the haunted building that Derek lived in. You didn’t know why you wanted to get there. What if he lived there with Braeden? You might look fooled if you saw both of them. But you didn’t care. You just want to make sure that Scott wasn’t messing with you. You need to see Derek so bad.

You arrived at his door. Very heavy sliding door. You knocked it softly and he must have known you’re here since he could sense you.

He opened it and kinda startled when he saw you. “YN?” He stood there and made eye contact with you for like a minute. “Come in.” He finally let you in. You notice his loft much brighter than before. And smell fresh like he put some perfume. And also you hadn’t seen any sign of Braeden here.

“How are you?” You asked him a very basic question. Of course you didn’t want asked him about him and Braeden. Stop thinking about her.

“I’m good, what about you?” He asked and gave you the sweetest smile.

You rolled your eyes. “3 years you have been away from Beacon Hill and now you’re back and asking me how am i doing?” You didn’t answer his question and hugged him. “Are you married with Braeden?” That question just came out from your stupid mouth.

Derek laughed. “It’s not funny.” You said it with a flat face. “Because the last time i saw you, you ran away with her.”

“I’m not… married to anyone.” You sighed in relieved.

When you and him were silenced, there was a sound of someone crying. “Who is that? Is there a someone here? Are you watching a movie with someone and there’s a scene?”

Derek didn’t answer and run upstair immediately and you followed him. You shocked when you saw him hold a toddler. “Am i seeing you with a kid or it just a doll?”

He came approached you. “This is Eli, my son.” Your eyes widened when he mention ‘son’ word. “Not with Braeden. I had a girlfriend, Delena, but she died on childbirth.” He definitely could read your mind. But your heart kinda break when he mention he had a girlfriend. “You know where i could find a babysitter?”

You punched his arm. “You just back to your hometown just to asked me where to find a babysitter?” And then you both laughed.

[connectionterminated13]

OOOUUAGAHW YES TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT CLAY

This is so fucking long sorry man

Well he was born and raised in hurricane son of the police chief, who was the son of the former police chief going back like 10 generations-

Clay's early life was boring the most interesting thing to happen to him at that point was His good friend Emily being swept up with some kind of hippie girl, And leaving hurricane behind Will he set off to the police Academy and got married to his high school sweetheart Betty!

Clay passed the police Academy's exams with very average normal grades. And somehow immediately out of the Academy got a job as police chief of hurricane (not because of his connections to his dad why would you say that?!). Clay was great at being The towns police chief mostly because like nothing ever happened there. He busted one teenager for trying to spray paint The local convenience store and that was like the most interesting thing... Until his wife got pregnant and he became a father!! Him and Betty chose the name Carlton. And Carlton just lit up his world even more...

around 1972 Emily Officially returned with her new husband Henry and her husband's friend William. The 3 of them working together had transformed Emily's parents Garbage diner into A Lively New diner with funny singing robots! Clay never really becomes close friends With William or Henry but they spent a lot of time together since all 3 of them had sons that were the same age. Clay thought Henry was weird but well-intentioned and William was funny and interesting and Had a nice accent....

And so everything continued like that. Family barbecues and elementary school concerts. Clay continued as a normal suburban dad who lived in a very very boring town and rarely had to do anything. And then Charlie died.

It was the most horrifying thing Clay ever saw. He had watched this girl play with his son on the monkey bars not a week earlier. And there she was. Blood mixing with the puddle forming beneath her one stab wound to the chest. He had to look his son in the eye and tell him why his best friend wasn't going to be coming School anymore.

And yes of course Clay tried he's a cop that's what he's supposed to do! He looked around and investigated but all of it was dead ends... And yes maybe he could have looked into it more maybe he could have poked more at William but Clay new William and William would never do that. William was a good handsome kind man.. So what would be the point?

After Charlie things calm down again sure the town is scared but it's just one tragedy. Life go on. The only serious thing clay has to deal with is Michael Getting a bit too violent with John which though undesirable.. boys will be boys! So as you can tell everything's going pretty well considering a child murder happened nearly 2 years ago. And oh no turns out Michael killed his own brother by accident! And now there's legal proceedings and Clay has to testify and it's horrible.. But then of course William comes in and explains what really happened. You see Michael's friend in the Bonnie mask Ibrahim was actually the one who planned the bite and it wasn't Mike's fault at all. So that's just what Clay said.

After all he knows William and he knows Michael.... Michael's just a boy who's having a tough time after charlie's death and Fell in with the wrong crowd.... So it's fine... And the real bastard behind poor Evan's death gets locked up in juvee so it's fine! But after the bite nothing's the same. Clay just has this feeling that something horrible is going to happen if he lets his guard down for even a minute.

And he's sort of right when Clarice Afton William's wife dies in her sleep. Yes maybe you should have investigated it more but William was really sad and What is it his business to dig up a man's dead wife??

But despite all of that Clay was relaxed moving in to 1985 and then the missing children's incident happened. That was probably the worst week of his life.... It started with Susie. Susie's mom Patricia Came into the police station freaking out and clay was used to this because the crazy local protective mother. But then Jeremy's parents came and Fritz's parents came and Gabriel parents came and Cassidy's parents came. All 5 of them gone... They scoured the entire town for those kids. There were search parties and giant missing posters and local broadcasts. Clay did everything. Except checked the back of Freddy. William told him that the red stuff leaking out of the animatronics was rust and it wasn't anything to worry about and clay believed him. Even though all the kids went missing at Freddy's... Because William wouldn't Lie like that. But people didn't agree with him, they thought Henry was to blame since the kids went missing at his restaurant and because of his erratic behavior after Charlie's death. This included his wife Betty who told him point blank that he was a horrible cop and a worse man for not just arresting Henry on the spot since it was so obvious he did it.

Because of the missing children's incident clay's mental health and his marriage continued to crumble. He spent countless hours even after the investigation was closed trying to figure out where those kids went. He even checked the amatronics and William was right it was just rust.... But despite all of this clay tried to continue on like everything was normal for his son and the town even though like half of it absolutely hated him for not just arresting Henry. And then Elizabeth disappeared at Williams's new restaurant opening... Just like before clay did his best to search the town up and down. And again he couldn't find Her.... His wife Betty got fed up at this point and told him to just go and investigate Henry's house for goodness sake! Clay refused saying there wasn't enough evidence and their marriage got 10 times worse.....

And Things get even worse when 3 teenagers Jeremy Fitzgerald, Fritz Smith and Samantha langtree Break into Henry's house as revenge for their dead sippings, And blabber some nonsense about Henry having a robot girl thing That bit Samantha in His dead daughter's closet.... Clay honestly doesn't know what to do with them since Henry doesn't want to press charges and they are just kids and it was a mistake and he can't really prove for sure it was them though he's like 85% sure so he compromises with William and Henry and makes them work at the pizzeria for this summer.

And he feels really good about himself solving the issue until oh my God the bite of 87 happened and more children are missing!!! The town is in freakout mode again as 5 more kids all suddenly go missing at the pizzeria and Clay tries to look for them and find a suspect! He Arrest Kimberly Hines (Phone guy In my AU she's a transwoman) Which makes perfect sense she's odd and has a deep voice and stubble And this one of those people so it was probably her.... Except actually he has like no evidence and has to release her a week later.. And now his wife is extra mad at him for not arresting Henry and they get into a big fight and they start the divorcing process...

Over the next 5 years Clay gets a divorce. They're absolutely miserable. Even though hurricane is quiet again with the divorce and the general uneasiness from the missing children's incidents Clay is a complete and utter mess. And then one night at the local bar juniors he runs into William. He hasn't seen William a lot since 1987 but knows that life hasn't been going good for him either. His daughter is presumed dead his son is dead and his other son ran away like a coward to live with his mom. (But of course because William's so kind he took in a child from a previous relationship he didn't know about named Vanessa) And so they start talking about life and being dad's and how much things suck and then they're drunk and they're kissing and then oh no oh no things happen at Williams home that Clay is confused and horrified by (Gay sex happens)

And so William and him getting to one horrible horrible relationship. Since him and his wife are already divorced and his son has moved out clay moose in with William and they start being a gay couple which confuses and horrifies clay because he thought he was a heterosexual man into William just came along into his life. And for a wild relationship is actually really good.. It makes clay stop thinking about all the missing children and horrible things that have happened recently! He even starts getting William's daughter Vanessa into police work which is really awesome!

And things continue being nice until 1997.... It was around Christmas time. Clay was going downstairs to get some of the decorations. He found one of those things William made. It was some kind of horrible black shifting sludge of teeth and eyes clinging to a robot. He found his journals in the bloodstains and all the other horrible things in that basement.

When William got home there was a fight and William kicked clay out and clay didn't arrest him immediately. He should of but he couldn't. There had to be some explanation for it William the loving William who had loved him for nearly 4 years would never do something that horrible.... But that time wasted couldn't be got back since William disappeared. Clay spent a bit looking for him but it was no use. Eventually news got out and people thought that William had killed himself that was the narrative that clay was bringing up because he wanted to find William and kill him for what he did. Michael and his mom took William's house and were planning to clean it out and sell it. (Clay of course took all the incriminating stuff out of there to look it Over beforehand)

After months of searching Clay went to the old pizzeria. He began investigating slowly but before he could reach the safe room something grabbed him by the neck. It was the puppet the one Charlie had died next to so many years ago. And it was her and it hated him. She slammed him about for a bit before stabbing her hand right through his chest.

And as the consciousness finally slipped fully from his body Clay could swear he saw an angel looking down at him with hate....

[maninthemiroh]

My CM DR as incorrect quotes

Me: When I die, I want my biological parents to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

Emily: Come on, you need to go to bed. Penelope: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want and that you need to die! Emily: … Emily: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—?!

Supervillain unsub: You’re too late! You'll never stop me now! Dave: That’s where you’re wrong, evildoer! We WILL stop you, with the powers of: Penelope: Friendship- Jennifer: Harmony- Me: Incredible violence- Alex: And love!

More beyond the cut <3!

Jennifer: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations; where did you get the fake skeletons? Me: Fake?

Penelope: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza. Aaron: What? Penelope: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom. Me: So, a calzone? Penelope: You can’t just name things I dream up; they're MY dreams!

Luke: This date is boring! Me: This isn't a date; I said I was going to the store. Luke: Then, why did you invite me? Me: I didn't; I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "Fuck you, bird boy, I'll do whatever I want!

Emily: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm going to ace this reinstatement test! Derek: Ok, I'll give you one more question before you go. What began after 1971? Emily: 1972. Derek:...You're ready.

Alex, at the foot of Aaron’s hospital bed: The results are in; I’m afraid you have updog… Aaron: What’s updog? Alex: Matt, get in here; I told you I could do it!

Tara: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. Me: Oh, that was all real. Tara: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! Me: If I’m going to be sacrificed, it’s going to be done right.

Aaron: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container. Dave: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless, but the pasta is now.

Alex: HELP! I TOLD CORVID I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT, BUT I CAN'T COOK! Emily, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And, you thought I could help?

Spencer: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. Derek: Uh, it’s nice to see your smile when you win! *Later* Spencer: He's just staring at my ass, isn't he? Kate, shrugging: We all do that.

Me, about Strauss: I don’t know how she has her foot in her mouth, her head up her ass, and her nose in my business, but here we are, that fucking witch.

Derek: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Tara: Ooh, so close; that's a snake.

Jennifer: What are you two going as for Halloween? Spencer: A skeleton. Emily: A clown. Me: So, I’m guessing we don’t need to get either of you a costume then?

Tara: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous. Derek: What if it bites me and it dies?! Aaron: Then you're poisonous. Goodness, Morgan, learn to listen. Luke: What if it bites itself and I die? Spencer: That's voodoo. Matt: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Kate: That's correlation, not causation. Penelope: What if we bite each other and neither of us die? Me: That's kinky. Dave: *Long, drawn out sigh*

Me, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Kate, whispering: Should we call the unit therapist? Aaron, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick~ Matt, appalled: Immediately.

Derek: I couldn't do this without you, baby girl. Penelope: Sure, you could, just with less style.

Alex: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. Kate: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. Spencer: A realist sees a freight train. Me: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

Jennifer, knocking on the door: Spence, open up! Spencer: It all started when I was a kid. Jennifer: That’s not what I- Dave: Let him finish!

Kate: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza. Dave: So, you’re not going to share? Kate: I’m not going to share.

Me: I haven't seen Luke and Spencer for fifteen minutes now. *Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Luke and Spencer running after it in panic. I don't look outside at all.* Me: I hope they're doing something productive.

Luke: Question: When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all? Linda Barnes: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Jennifer: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Kate, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win, you should have tried not being poor.

Emily, to Alex: Oh, hi, I didn't see you there. Welcome to my humble abode. Dave: But this is MY house. Emily: ... Emily, smiling: I'm so happy to have you, guest!

Spencer: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Me, narrating: He did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night, fought a raccoon, and lost.

Derek: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch". Dave: Junior?

Kate: Bonjour, voulez–vous coucher avec moi? Me: No, I don't want to sleep with you. Kate: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Me, to Emily: You’re starting to forget your Spanish—you don’t practice! Emily: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada Me: You just told me you’re pregnant? Spencer: Congratulations, Em, you’re glowing!

Emily: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly? Jennifer: Not again! Emily: No, seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land; there should be no exceptions. Me: Just wait until you hear about whales. Emily: What now?

Jennifer: What's with the new hat? Derek: Oh, this? It's nothing. Penelope: It's the loudest nothing I’ve ever seen. Dave: Morgan, you just can't mosey in here with a brand new hat and act like you're not wearing a brand new hat. Derek: Look, I'm trying something new, okay? Just take it easy. Alex: He's right, guys. Come on, let's not go down this path. It's ugly... Kinda like that hat. Derek: I got this from a nice store! Aaron: What store? The one before you exit the Al Capone Museum? Emily, entering the room: What's up, Derek? Did you just finish Bling Ring-ing Bruno Mars' closet? Derek: I'm being brave, okay? You may want to take a long, hard look in the mirror, sheeple. Emily: Better us than you. You look like a park ranger from a cartoon. Derek: Corvid, do you think the hat looks bad? Me: It's different, like something you would wear in Indiana... Jones and the Temple of Bad Hats.

Me: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Kate: Please don’t get arrested. Me: No promises! <3 Matt: Why not both? Get creative! Me: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Kate: Please don’t encourage him, Matt.

Matt, jealous: You can’t find a roommate! Me: Why not? Matt: Well, um, how are you going to feel when they see you without any makeup? Me: I never wear makeup, if not for a case? Matt: Fuck, you’re beautiful.

End note: Well, this was long, wasn't it? Sorry, I don't know what came over me, lol. Anyway, all quotes, though many were modified, originally hail from this link!

Divider credits: @/i-mmaculatus and @/v6quE

Taglist: @amiivrse @the-badass-penguin @colettecrybaby (I hope you don't mind being added, but you seem to really like my CM DR related posts and I'm just a little guy, so...)

[feuqueerfire]

4 Minutes Ep 5 - 6 Live Blogging

Ep 5 (Aug 23)

Coincidentally this started airing on iQiyi the same week I'm on my VIP trial. Downloading it to watch on my phone during lunch (while outside lol not in the office) but I can only get the regular version, not sultrier.

im watching this on my lunch break outside where it is very sunny + on my phone so im ngl that entire first part was just pretty much a dark screen for me.

i still cannot quite comprehend the Great and Tyme relationship.

i also don’t get how Tyme’s parents ended up killed but ok

ah, so Nan was not the female doctor. She was in this and decided to team up with Tyme

Watching Sultrier version: okay Nan's friend Mon did die at the gambling place! I was wondering if we weren't gonna see something happening to Mon that was gonna turn Nan against the gambling place even more.

20 minutes in, gonna watch rest while on the subway home bc the lighting will be fine at least.

Spoilers from twitter: Great is dying, Tyme is possibly dying (smth about them dying after e/o? idk), a screenshot where the user was saying Tonkla killed Title, everything was fake from great’s mind?

Sultrier version: the parents trying to figure out what to do about Great helping Nan get away

ah, he took the money because the company owner greats father was there as was Tyme's grandma

rewatched pre-credit scene and ohh it’s how tonkla got Title in a vulnerable position to probably kill him

Nan went ahead on live and is trying to expose the illegal gambling business

as expected, it seems like the woman who tried to kill herself’s son likely was involved in that gambling pool

lol Fah knew about Korn seeing Tonkla and now wants to put an end to it so that they can get married

what’s even going on with the woman giving away her entire life savings to that guy and premonitions of death

wait, misstress son… so Great is related to the dad but out of wedlock and while he had a different wife?

Also, the treatment of Korn and Great is so different. Korn got slapped by the dad like 2 sentences in, right after he spoke harshly to Great's mom about Great. Great on the other hand is allowed to be rude and confrontational.

oh, the woman sent the killer after Great's mom/the company leaders

why did the 4 minutes thing just happen immediately? Like shouldn’t the guy have shot the gun 4 minutes later?

ah, she died anyway

We're at 11:03 this episode, the time is back after not really appearing in ep 4. On the other hand, barely any Tonkla, just that cold open. More and more curious when and how Tonkla and Great's stories will converge (in bigger ways than just Title and Dome)

The watching experience of this episode left a lot to be desired since I was fr just watching on my screen, barely able to make anything out in the darker scenes because of the sun. Maybe I should rewatch but don't really feel like it.

3 more weeks before it all (hopefully) makes sense, oh man.

Ep 6 (Aug 28)

Using data during my walk outside on lunch break but I barely have any data left so probably won’t be able to watch much hmmm

So what’s the timeline, Win found out about Tonkla being a suspect, slept with him again (after finding out he was cheating), then came to catch him? Or is this in a different timeline? Or is the order of events incorrect? But also lowkey why does it feel like Win kinda gave Tonkla a heads up or something to get him outta there.

Oh, we’re starting from the very beginning but presumably seeing the original timeline events

Ah, Tyme’s elusive ex girlfriend

The shots of Great at the end of the table is so beautiful

god Great is such a dick

no like in DFF Great would have been part of the shitty friend group that bullied Non and got him killed, except it’s even worse because Great killed some woman with his car and helped Title hide a body (and he watched as Title first killed the guy)

ah, Great and Tyme’s original meeting

bro I really can’t see shit in the dark scenes

okay back at home

oh I remember some people saying they probably had a one night stand the first timeline and stuff instead of pursuing a relationship

Tyme bugging Great's room?

oh we are Seeing the lube, that's crazy

oh that's crazy, the camera captured them fucking?

girl what, Tyme is gonna post revenge porn of Great?

he really did post it woah. TymeGreat are truly horrible4horrible

Great's dad is saying that Tyme's parents were the ones who originally started this gambling business (+ that he didn't kill them hmm)

Great's conversation at the dinner with Tyme after the clip... he's crazy fr

The way Great said "Wanna hook up?" is so funny, I actually lol-ed aloud. and what a character he is, asking this after knowing the Tyme initially had sex with him to post that clip bc he's beefing with his dad

Oh, in this timeline, is Korn crueller?

In the original timeline, Great pulls down Tyme's mask after he attacks Korn, rather than Tyme pulling it down himself

Aw man, Nan just died in this timeline and Tyme's has to come to terms with that. I get that Tyme's gonna be grieving and such and he does have a point about Great being able to do something because they wouldn't have shot him but... Tyme knew this was a possibility from the start, right?

Great's mother must die in this version too, right? Or wait actually I guess not because the lady who sent the assassin was actually killed by Great. saved his own mother's life in a round about, killer sort of way actually

Ohh, Tonkla shot Great in the original timeline, the reason he's in the hospital.

Okayyyy interesting episode to get the original ep 1 - 5 events! I wonder what this means for the last two episodes. I think if we were going for a "and nothing was changed, Great dies, Tyme dies" after the changed timeline storyline, then we wouldn't have gotten this episode today. Feels like the next 2 episodes are gonna try to tie original and redo timeline together somehow?

I'm curious and excited, this might've been one of my favourite episodes.

The Great and Tyme dynamic feels so much more grounded and realistic this time around, the way Great wants to hook up while Tyme's like wtf... ?? The rosy original timeline was clearly not quite right. But it again brings into question what even is going on with their romance in the redo timeline because they're not in love here + Tyme kinda hates Great right now, so what's up with such a cutesy romance in their redo thing? I can see it from Great's end but Tyme?

Also Great truly is suchhh a piece of shit. Not even in a bad way. well like bad way obviously because he's a bad person but as a viewer, it's extremely entertaining and compelling.

I think I should rewatch this show on my laptop because there are definitely moments esp last week where I was watching on my phone while outside and it was just too dark to truly see stuff. And maybe I'll notice stuff on a rewatch. Dunno if I should do it this weekend or wait until the week of ep 8 and rewatch in preparation for the finale.

[thornescratch]

15 people, 15 questions

@snipertrifle tagged me in the 15 things meme, and it's been sitting in my drafts since early October and I finally finished it.

1. Are you named after anyone? Yeah, my mom told my dad's sister she would name her first girl after her, since my aunt passed away young before I was born, and then they had to find a name that worked with that name. So, my middle name is for my aunt, and my first name was a convenience of assonance accompaniment.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like, actual sustained crying, back in June when my dad died. Some occasional tearing up since then, but each time I have immediately walled it off like some kind of imaginary cask of Amontillado because I have legitimately not had the goddamn time for an emotional breakdown until recently. (Now that it's November, I finally do have the time, but my brain is all, 'Hmm. No. I think we better wait for something innocuous in public to set you off unexpectedly. Perhaps the next time you got to Costco. Gotta keep you guessing.' Some poor customer service person is going to wind up on the witness business end of that, and it is going to be super awkward for everyone.)

3. Do you have kids? No, hasn't worked out that way. I always wanted them, though; I never had any doubt that I wanted to be a parent and have kids. It does make me sad. But I have nephews and nieces and godchildren I adore, so that's something.

4. What sports do you play/have played? Swimming, diving, soccer, some track and field, and I can skate well enough to not fall on my face most of the time.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Never.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? How we would stack up against each other if we were stuck in a situation where cannibalism of the other was the only option for survival. (But in reality, eyes and voices. Sometimes hands.)

7. What’s your eye color? Brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I do enjoy scary movies the way God intended, by reading about them in great detail on wikipedia but rarely watching them in full.

9. Any talents? I can tie cherry stems into knots with my tongue; I think my record is like, four in one minute. I can also touch my nose with my tongue and wiggle my ears. I'm okay at writing. Apparently I have the kind of face that people ask me for directions a lot (this is a mistake.)

10. Where were you born? Maryland.

11. What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, hockey, swimming, putting together Legos with the kiddos, screaming about Star Wars, occasional amateur skeletal articulation, foraging, the kind of hiking that's actually just rambling, and baking.

12. Do you have any pets? A turtle obtained through dubious legal means who will probably outlive me, at the rate he's going.

13. How tall are you? 5'6"

14. Favorite subject in school? English, Biology, Art. Surprisingly, Latin.

15. Dream job? I mean, optimally I would receive large amounts of money and not have to work at all! I used to say fiction editor, but now I want to just read whatever I want all day without necessarily trying to make it better. As long as I'm dreaming, anyway.

No pressure for tags, but I could always stand to learn more about @milliebeeweasel, @immoveableobject, @darkisrising, @bronze-lorica, @maikaartwork, @soranokumo-is-catt, @sushiburritonoms, and @marloweseyeball, if only so I can eventually steal their identities (both online and physical).

[marisramblings]

Cyberpunk Edgerunners should’ve been episodic vignettes

I’ve seen 7/10 of Cyberpunk Edgerunners’ episodes. I tried watching earlier this week and quit after episode 3. I tried again yesterday and quit at episode 7. I quit the first time because I found David to be boring and Lucy to be a manic pixie dream girl. The plot wasn’t engaging and I couldn’t make myself care or become immersed within the story. I immediately skipped to the final episode and actually liked it.

Everyone seems to love the show and after watching a few videos on the Cyberpunk universe, I gave Edgerunners one more chance. I liked it more but it was still lacking. The character relationships are empty. I felt nothing when David’s mom died because it was so obvious. I was pleasantly surprised when she seemed to survive. Lucy and David’s relationship is empty as hell. I cannot tell you why these two are compatible. David is a teenager and Lucy is edgy and cute. Lucy basically stays as the mysterious dream girl until she suddenly cares about David living and kisses him. Why? All we see them do is run. We know jack about Maine and his past so I didn’t care when he died. The relationship between him and David is more fleshed out but still devoid of genuine connection. None of the character relationships feels tangible, except Dorio/Maine and even that was barely explored. We know nothing about these people and they’re killed pretty early on. Show, don’t tell is generally good but it fails if what you show makes no sense.

Okay, so onto the main point of this post. I watched the music video for Let You Down. If you don’t know, there’s a character story and It’s beautifully animated. By the end, I was more invested in Sasha’s story than the entirety of Edgerunners. A 4 minute music video with minimal dialogue made me care.

From what I’ve gleaned, Cyberpunk is depressing. That’s an overly simplistic take but I think it speaks to the cold inevitability of its universe. Our heroes don’t overcome the odds. Innocent people suffer. Every victory is secured through incalculable tragedies. There’s a lot of complexity within Cyberpunk, and David’s story is just one of many within Night City. I think having each episode be a little longer and focus on different people would’ve have been much better. This would allow the audience multiple views of life in Night City. Show us the Davids whose parents die from poverty and die in blaze of glory. Show us the depravity of the upper class. Show us cybernetics junkies like Maine and net runners like Lucy. Have an episode on sex work, one on cyberpsychosis, one of Sasha. Since the episodes are shorter, quick relationship and character development are fine. Tragedy and lessons can work in the small confines of a 30-40 minute episode. Edgerunners isn’t Arcane. Arcane had longer episodes and proper development. I don’t think its story was mind blowing but it was still great. Edgerunners is quick, flashy, and fast like the lives of cyberpunks.

[bellamysgriffin]

Now I’m curious about your ST thoughts!!!😭 but could you talk about your favorite parts of stranger things/your favorite characters? (If you don’t want to share the unpopular opinions ofc!)

omg of course i have No Fear of discourse, i'm always open to sharing unpopular opinions, i just couldn't be bothered to type up a whole post unprompted lmao but okay

starting with my fav parts of the show:

i will forever say s1 is the best season of the show and it really doesn't matter how good s5 is, because it won't top s1. from the bottom of my heart i think stranger things would have been a kickass miniseries and probably should have stopped after season 1 because i think it went from a good show to a fun show after that

that said there are always things i love from each season. in s2 i really adored hopper and el's story, in s3 i loved robin's inclusion, and in s4 i thought the max stuff was really great

i am also unashamedly a stancy truther and i literally dont care what y'all say i'm correct and it would actually make PERFECT sense for them to get back together now

hopper is forever my fav character and i think david harbour's performance in this show is truly incredible

then if we want to go to my um... controversial opinions. i'll just let them rip

i think all the kid actors except for sadie sink have gotten noticeably worse. although i would say gaten matarazzo is pretty much the same, and i want to say finn wolfhard hasn't gotten worse but maybe that's because he was so great in the it movies. in this, there's really no way to tell bc they don't give him anything to do lmao

i don't have any real investment in the mike/will/el love triangle but i will say if you rewatch the first season, it's pretty clear that mike really loved el and i think it's just because they feel so lackluster right now that people are convinced they won't end up together but like. i personally would not be getting my hopes up lmao

i also think fanon perception of the show has truly gotten so divorced from reality it's literally crazy. i can expand upon this but i don't want to piss people off THAT much lmao

i think stranger things has a huge problem with consistent characterization and there's always one character you see that with most pronounced from season to season. in s2 it was joyce who straightened her hair and put on eyeshadow and became an entirely different kind of parent because of that i guess. s3 it was hopper who became an oafish comedic device. and in s4 i hate to say it and you guys will be mad, but robin. that is a different fucking character than season 3!!! in s3 she was like. the cool girl/savvy loner, kind of snarky, relatively sarcastic and like ridiculously smart. in s4 she's just like gangly and awkward and talks a mild a minute and claims to have no understanding of social cues. what???? i mean, i like the nerdy lesbian as much as the cool lesbian but that's just blatantly not what she was and i think it's really disappointing that they took this character that was aloof and witty and very socially savvy and made her a nerd because that's how writing lesbians made more sense in their brain i guess i don't know

and for the real kicker..... i think eleven should have died in s4. i'm actually so fucking bored that she didn't. and that's not because i hate her character but because she has effectively turned into a deus ex machina and i am tired of every season ending with millie bobby brown sticking her hand out and screaming until the monster dies. i was SO BORED during the last half of that battle. and look, they had their chance to get rid of that deus ex machina without killing her when they took her powers away, but they obviously didn't know how to write without that convenient plot device in their back pocket so they immediately gave her powers back to her. stupid! killing 11 would have genuinely been the most interesting thing to do going into s5 because then our main cast would be confronted with how to stop the monster without their resident superhero, and that's a difficult thing to write which is obviously why the stranger things writers didn't want to do it lmao. so yea. i'm team kill eleven before the finale so i don't have to sit through another hour of telekinetic lazy writing

[blogtaculous]

I decided to take on Far Cry 5, and now that I’ve finished it boy do I have opinions!

What the fuck was the story. Like, what the fuck. This isn’t the good sort of “what the fuck” like when the alien shows up at the Brazilian birthday party, but the bad kind where nothing makes sense and everything is stupid. Four main antagonists and all of them are Vaas. It’s just Far Cry 3 again, but worse.

Not once in all the constant, endless, bad monologues from four people who spoke with the same cadence and vocabulary did I feel anything close to interest. Just awful writing. Talking in circles FOREVER for no reason. Did they even hint at anything? No. Just talking for the sake of talking. Zero charisma on display.

Far Cry’s tone is always weird, considering the main gameplay has the “holy shit can you believe that!” vibe but then the story is like “This guy is called The Cook because he made two kids eat their parents’ toes before setting them all on fire.” (Side note: it takes like 10 goddamn minutes of the slowest paced storytelling to learn about The Cook and I killed him in 8 seconds with a rocket launcher immediately after laying eyes on him)

The nuclear war was fucking dumb. Ubisoft thinks there were lots of clues, but in the end those clues were:

- Bog standard fictitious doomsday cult says the world is going to end

So when the nukes go off the only response I could muster was “huh?” I even knew that was going to happen (because it came out 5 years ago) so I was actively looking for the subtle clues and hints that was even on the table. Like… it wouldn’t have taken much, but when Ubisoft’s goal was obviously to create that twist ending there can’t be any substantial clues. If the player could guess it then Ubisoft would consider that a failure (the HBO gambit). There were opportunities during the NUMEROUS capture moments to expand on the possibility of nuclear war. I’m putting a pin in that because…

Speaking of unavoidable capture moments:

The capture squads were fucking dumb. Here’s a worthless combat encounter that is not winnable and inescapable. You get paralyzed and captured. The end. Absolutely trash. I know each of the lieutenants gets a moment of “ha, fooled you!” but this guy was so boring and so lame. I don’t even remember how he outsmarted the protagonist.

The Bliss induced haze was okay. I thought it was a little lame that the Marshall is “rescued” in one such haze, but when it was revealed he was compromised from the start I softened on it a little. The cutscene where he becomes Faith’s parrot and starts killing the militia in the prison was really good. I felt betrayed. Also I’m bummed that Faith gets exactly one line floating that Joseph is also manipulating her, and it’s right before she dies.

The random arrows to the thigh were stupid, and I thought the hallucination kill house was also stupid, though I began to get the hint and thought the execution of the Manchurian Candidate plot was really solid. Especially since that is the only area that requires the player constantly return to the militia base to get new tasks, so the parallels between the hallucination and the Wolf’s Den become obvious right as it’s too late. Plus, characters remark at the length Rook has been missing when he’s being conditioned. Seriously, a great story moment and cool twist.

The final boss fight was fucking goofy. It has a solid gimmick, though how the fuck did every named character get Blissed like that? It doesn’t make Joseph feel powerful or in control, it’s just contrived. The fight itself would be better if the battle arena was more than 5 square feet. Really stupid trying to revive someone while Joseph appears out of nowhere to kill everyone else. He also has a great line, right at the end, where he’s begging Rook to believe him, and it sounds sincere and desperate. Naturally it lasts one second then he’s back to being a jackass.

Back to the pin:

Joseph and his lieutenants are obtuse just for the sake of being obtuse, in service of keeping the nuclear twist a secret until the end. I could keep complaining, but here are some solutions:

- The Knock at the Cabin method: in the aforementioned film, Leonard et al prepare video material to convince Eric, Andrew, and Wen that the end of the world is, indeed, imminent. Joseph should have done this. “Next time I see you,” he says to Rook, “<thing is going to happen elsewhere in the world> which means apocalypse is coming and I have seen it already” so that Rook has to consider whether it’s a long con lie or truly the start of the end of the world.

- Don’t fucking end the game that way

Moving on to a related diatribe, it absolutely makes no sense that Jacob’s arrest by Rook brings out the start of nuclear war. Did Joseph just know those two unrelated events would take place at the same time? Who knows, but it certainly isn’t the writers of the game. This concept needed to be fleshed out, but honestly this entire story needed to be done in a different game where the core gameplay loop is something other than “explore a huge world however you want with whatever tools you like and slowly liberate it.” Ubisoft also can’t fall back on “there were radio broadcasts that things were going bad in the rest of the world!” because who fucking listens to those (I didn’t hear even one) and, again, why would an intense global geopolitical crisis hinge on A RANDOM ROOKIE SHERIFF’S DEPUTY ARRESTING A CULT LEADER IN MONTANA??

Anyway, it was an okay game, because Far Cry games are pretty consistent in quality of gameplay. I’m glad there was no crafting. I wish there were more weapons. The perk system was good.

[cyanidefilledcandy]

I apologize for how long this likely will be and how rambly it likely will be, but I just feel like I need to get it out.

I just got a call from my dad that my aunt passed away. I'm sad of course....but maybe not as sad as I should be? Mostly I'm just angry...

I couldn't sleep tonight...even on medication, I was up every hour or so, until I got the call and I knew immediately someone had died... Someone unexpectedly once again taken from my family....at the same time of year around the same time of morning...

For the past 4 years, I've lost someone close to me....always around the same time. (And even before that... It's like the cirmustances are always the same.)

August 2008, I couldn't sleep for more than a few minutes no matter what. Then my little sister woke me up around 3-4am and told me my grandmother, who she and I both lived was gasping for breath and she couldn't wake her up.

A few years later, August, I went to visit my great grandmother, someone I grew up seeing everyday, because she found out she had a deadly illness for years that her doctor didn't tell her abour and again 3-4am, we got a call she passed away.

2018 was when things got kicked into overddrive. 2018, I lost my maternal grandmother around Thanksgiving....after being so excited to be able to spend Christmas with her after years of only seeing her once or twice a year. 3-4am.

I lost my cat a month later; a year later.

I've always been more or less accepting when it comes to death...

Even as a toddler, I was always acutely aware of it, scared of it, its inevitability and permenance. At 4 years old (maybe even younger), I had nightmares of Death, coming after my parents, me. Of inescaple apocalypses and definite countdowns for me and those closest to me. I thought about far more than any child likely did or should, but when it happened, I'd mourn and then move on... fairly quickly. My paternal grandmother's death definitely changed me in some way. She was the person I was closest to and nothing out of the ordinary happened the day before. She did the exact same thing we did every year. She drove around got things ready for my sister and I for the beginning of school the following day. And then....she was gone. I felt grief...deep grief, but maybe not as deep as I should. I was sad. I mourned. But then I was numb...

And I have been ever since....

With every new death from someone I love, grew up with and was close to, upom hearing the news, I'd mostly just feel numb, maybe cry for a bit and then more or less carry on.

That is until 2021 when my little sister died after guving birth. Nothing in the world could've ever prepared me for burying my little sister. No amount of the death dreams I'd had or even my worst nightmare where she was actually killed in front of me instead of us just waiting for could've prepared me for that being a reality. As always, I couldn't sleep that night no matter what (though that's hardly anything new these days), and then....at 3-4am, I heard my dad on the phone with my mom and found out she was gone....after giving birth a few hours earlier; after being mostly fine during that time.

I've never had a death hit me so hard and I don't think I'll ever recover. And it changed me deeply and permenantly as a person....somewhat for the better, mostly for the worst.

For the better (which is honestly the only thing other than wanting to be happy before I die), I decided to try and make time with those I love and get better about communicating.

Family has always meant a lot to mw, but I've always been an extreme introvert. I've always enjoyed my own company. I've always been not super affectionate. I've always hated talking on phones (it's nearly a phobia). And at family events, I'd say hello, and disappear soon after because I never know how to behave around people. I've always felt awkward and have been told I make others feel awkward, so I'd rather just not be around them. I also severely hate driving (again, to the point of nearly phobia) that I don't unless I ABSOLUTELY have to (and sometimes not even then). This all got worse when I got severely depressed in my late teens and with the social awkwardness came anger and iritial irritability, as well as anger for at my family for more reasons than one; so I isolated further.

But I said, I would get better about communicating with people and....in a way I have, but not enough...

I still avoid phones calls, except every now and then with people I know will keep me on the phone a long time. (My aunt was such a person.) And I've always been bad about calling people, somewhat the reason above, sometimes because I'm usually so depressed that I don't want to ruin anyone's mood, but mostly because I'm just super forgetful. I'd been thinking of calling my aunt for the past few days; just to check on her and always either forgot or didn't because the time didn't seem right. I also had two mugs she'd ask me to get her from California that I never seemed to have time to drop off to her. .....and now I can't and this why I'm so angry.

At myself. Literally what the fuck is wrong with me?

When my sister died, I had been wabting to spend Christmas with her and my niece, but got hit with such a bad depressive episode that I felt I couldn't deal with anything. I had also had a possible exposure to COVID and didn't want to risk her or the baby...but the depression was the real reason. Then came the next when she was supposed to give birth. She asked me (begged me) to be with her to deliver; but I mostly thought she was joking because she joked like that all of the time. I planned to, I really did, but the depression was still horrible, plus I had anxiety about driving as well as trying to help my sister with a toddler, a new baby, a likely destroyed house because her BD was useless while I barely had my own shit together.

And then she died. Alone....something she always said she didn't want. She always saidbshe wanted the chance to say goodbye to her family.

And I let it happen....because I couldn't get over my bullshit... She thought the world of me and I couldn't even be a good big sister, as much as I've always tried to be.

And now, here it is again, I've lost two more people who I couldn't be assed to communicate with. My great aunt died last November and now my aunt is dead the following January....

And my mom has lost a mother and daughter and my father, a daughter and a sister (as well as both parents years earlier) and I feel like I should be doing more to comfort them and....I just don't know how. I've done my best to communicate to them to please call me if they need or want ro, but other than that...I just don't fucking know what else to do. Other than visit them, which I do try to do, but still not nearly enough.

And I'm just the worst person during grief because I don't know what to do, and I'm too emotionally distant and numb to be of any help.

And concieted since this post is about nothing except me bitching about myself and my feelings.

I've always felt like a shitty person and people would always ask me why.

This.

This is why.

And on top of that, I'm just... mad at the universe. Like I said, I'd missed a LOT of time with family because if work....most of my adult life, in fact. I was working to try and make things better for us all, true enough, but at the cost of actual time with them. And the MOMENT. The moment I decide to let that go and am actually EXCITED to spend a holiday with them (I haven't been excited about holidays in decades), it's like they all start dropping.

My grandmother, my cat, my sister, my great aunt, my aunt. And always around this time of year....August-January....a time of year that used to be my favorite. Warm holidays spent with family, lots of family birthdays (including my grandmothers, grandfather, sister, niece, and now nephew), my birthday, and just I love fall and winter in general. Now it's just a time of my depression getting worse and death. Everything about this time has been tainted and ruined and my mind just keeps asking, why now? Why this time of year? Why nearly always that time of night. I know it isn't a curse, and yet it feels like it. My family are good people. They have their flaws, but they're ultimately good people who try to do good by others, yet are still continously dealt shitty cards.

And it's made worse by the fact that most of my family photos, especially those of my immediate family (my mom, full sister, dad, and me) are pretty much all lost. Some because my mom lost a storage unit and others because my grandmother's house was left to rot after she died. (I literally went one day to find some of our family photos thrown in the yard like a pile of trash and that broke me way more than her death did.) I saved what I could and then they still wound up lost after I moved states. My sister had some of them in her apartment but they were all gone when we went to search her apartment....I can only guess her PoS BD either threw them or took them for no reason at all because it's not like he cared for my family or even my sister if we're being honest.

If anything was left in my grandmother's house, I'm pretty sure the tornado a couple of days ago finished it off...

It feels like my family isn't just dying; it's being erased.

So, I'm just angry at everything, especially myself. I just want to crawl in a ball and disappear or just swallow a bottle of pills and be done with it all. I don't want to do that to my parents, but I know I won't survive hearing something happened to them.

[sushis-wild-imagination]

IF you leave me

(Wonwoo x Reader)

PS: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF. This is another of my imagines based on an svt song

Listen to the song while you read it,

If you leave me (song)

If you leave me translation IM SOBBINGG

Seventeen Masterlist <3

‘If you leave in the distant future

I probably won't be able to live

It's not in the distant future

I just don't want to think about it’

Your leg was bouncing up and down in nervousness while you wait for your laptop to make a noise. You sense someone behind you.

It was Wonwoo bringing you a can of coke in attempts in calming you down hoping a cool beverage will help you.

“You’ve been sitting here staring and waiting for too long y/n, take a walk” you hear him say while rubbing your shoulders a bit.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your screen. They said you’ll get a mail today.

You were sitting infront of your laptop waiting for a ping on you mail that could possibly decide your future. You applied to a bunch of colleges, but this one, this one was special. You’ve always wanted to go to Princeton to do a PhD in Math and its tough getting into Princeton. But you were also exceptional when it came to academics, you really had a chance, which is why your professors encouraged to apply.

You sigh, you know he’s right, the milk never boils if you keep looking at it. You stand up to stretch a little while wonwoo rests his hand on the chair, leaning in on it.

“Don’t be so nervous, you’ll get in” he reassured.

He has been such a source of support to you, throughout the whole process, he’s your rock. You were his.

As great as this PhD opportunity would be for you and uour carrier, this meant leaving him behind and that scared you. It scared him just as much, but he couldn’t bear the thought of being someone that holds you back from accomplishing something you’ve always wanted.

You get on your toes and give him a soft kiss.

“Thanks for being here today”

You asked him to come over incase you don’t get in and that horribly discourages you. You needed him around you, it wasn’t dependency, it was just support and distraction.

“Always” he says stealing another quick peck pulling you into his chest by the waist.

Ping!

You freeze.

“Its here, isnt it?” You whisper to Wonwoo, suddenly your grip on his tee shirt tightened. He nods quickly glancing at the screen.

You were terrified. You kept acting cool all these months when you were applying, but when it comes down to this, it really scared you. Rejection is normal, but you really wanted to go to Princeton.

You slowly let go of Wonwoo and sit at your chair. He was right behind you, as usual. Literally and metaphorically, you knew that.

You open the mail biting your nail. You read out loud.

“We’re glad to inform you…”

That was enough for you. You got into the programme. You immediately broke into a smile and jumped out of the chair, into Wonwoo’s arms who was also yelling in happiness.

“I got in, I got in” The excitement went on for a few minutes.

When it finally died down he said he was proud of you and kissed your forehead and a tight hug before letting go.

“I knew you had it in you, you’re too smart not to get in y/n”

You let out one last squeal before you pick up the phone to tell your parents.

Although it was a happy occasion, Wonwoo knew what came next and that made him go quiet. It means you would leave for the US in a months time. He never sat with his thoughts about it,

Maybe it was time he did.

‘Even the time we were apart for just a while

Makes my heart flutter

I know it's not gonna happen

But just imagining it makes me cry’

You were packing for your 4 years at Princeton. You didn’t even know if what you packed would be enough, you assumed you can just get stuff there.

Wonwoo had come over to help you pack right after work and you had to force him to nap because he looked exhausted. Deadbeat.

You finally finished about 70% of the packinng turned around to look at sleeping Wonwoo. You brush his hair from his face.

To be honest, you were scared. You were okay until you were applying but now that it has come to it, you were scared of leaving Wonwoo. You had gotten so used to him, being around him, loving him. Being around your friends, it scared you to leave a life you know so well, how to live, it scared you to do something out of your comfort zone and start fresh. Leaving Wonwoo felt like abandoning him and it didn’t sit right with you.

You didn’t realise admist all these thoughts, you had zoned out on his face and he had woken up.

“Did you finish packing?” He asks groggily.

You shake your head. “I think I forgot something” you say with a playful smile.

He looks confused, “what?”

“You”

You climb into the couch and into his arms. He snuggles you closer you dont fall off. The couch was definitely not made for two people to lie down. But they were all just excuses to be as close to him as physically possible.

“Are you planning on putting me in a big suitcase like a murderer?” He raises an eyebrow.

You chuckle at that, “You’ve been watching too many crime shows, Jeon Wonwoo” you say hugging his torso so you don’t fall off.

There was silence. You enjoyed his snuggles for a while before gathering courage to ask.

“I’ve been thinking, I never asked, how do you feel about all this?”

You hear him take a deep breath, you could feel it because your head was on his chest. You didn’t dare look at him though.

“Remember those 2 weeks I was away for work? I thought I’ll go crazy, and I’ve never been like this with anyone, it’s different when it comes to you y/n”

“So honestly, its scary and I’m sad but I’m also happy for you and proud of you y/n” he answers truthfully.

You sigh this time. You didn’t know how to answer. You didn’t know how to look at him, so you don’t. You bury your head further into his chest instead.

“I know what this means to you, I know you can’t let go of this opportunity, things like Princeton don’t come by often, part of me is so proud of you, part of me does not want you to go, I want to be selfish and I hate it” His heart was heavy, you could hear it in the words he said.

“We can do long distance Wonu, it’ll work out”

You knew for a fact, if you had to do long distance with anyone, it had to be Wonwoo, nothing else would work. Wonwoo was your soulmate.

“Im scared we’ll fall out of love because of the distance, y/n”

He wasn’t wrong. It was a practical assumption. As much as you wanted to run away from the thought, what if you only loved each other because you saw each other so often. Not seeing him made you very moody and you’ve admitted that to him before. You also know you had a healthy relationship that could survive long distance but 4 years seemed like such a stretch.

“What if we break up? I hate to think about it, it breaks my heart to a point where it makes me want to cry, but I also know and understand its a very practical possibility and we have to talk it out, I want us to be happy y/n, there no point to anything if we’re not happy”

He was right again. He was always this strong even in such situations. Unlike you, you just wanted to go to a corner and cry, you were stressed out now.

“I like to think the only reason people should break up is when they dont love each other, and we love each other, so much, I don’t see a reason right now, we’ll cross the bridge when and if it comes to it, although I’m hoping it never does, there also isn’t any point in stressing about it now, we’re happy right now, aren’t we?”

You also had a point. You were both high on emotions and you need to think straight. “You’re right” he agrees.

He has always wanted the best for you, even if that meant not seeing you everyday.

“I can’t think straight, I’m just gonna miss you” he whispers like he is losing a battle. It shatters you heart. You hold on tighter, bunching his tee in your fist, like he’ll disappear if you let go.

“I’ll miss you too” you say and he kisses you head.

‘You are (The only one) for me (Who knows) my heart

Hug (Me) more, I hate tomorrow without you

(I need you, I love you, only you babe)

I'm in a world called you, it's a waste no matter what I give you

I hope we remain like this forever’

The day arrived when you had to leave. The car ride was quiet. Neither of you knew what say. Knowing you won’t see him for a while, wake up next to him tomorrow, you won’t wake up to his kisses, really messed you up. You wanted to cry but you promised each other no crying, it was a pact.

Not many words were exchanged. It was almost like if you would open your mouth to say something you would just choke up and start crying.

You’ve thought of backing out last minute so many times, looking at Wonwoo’s face was enough for you to cancel everything.

He helped you with your suitcases while you waited patiently hugging your self, pinching your arms trying not to cry.

“Come with me” you blurt out senselessly. Its like you had no control over what you said.

“I wish I could, baby” he softly chuckles.

You will miss everything about him. You decided on him flying out to see you in 6 months or so but the longest you’ve been apart was 2 weeks and that had driven you nuts, so you had no idea how you’d survive this.

You felt so overwhelmed by all these thoughts you suddenly hop in for a hug and wrap your hands around his neck, because of which he loses a little balance.

“Are you okay?” He asks patting your head. You shake your head in his shoulder.

“Lets just stay like this forever, I don’t want to go” you say into his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, no crying, we have a pact” he reminds you and you immediately sniffle trying to pull back all the tears back into your eyes.

“You got this, I’m so proud of you” he says beaming a smile at you. You nod looking away, trying really hard not to be sad and to cry.

He puts a finger under your chin and lifts it to meet your eyes.

“You’ll be fine, I promise”

He leans in for a goodbye kiss, it felt horrible. You could see his eyes glistening when you pull back. You know he was as sad as you were.

“I love you” he rests his forehead against yours.

“I love you too”

He pulls back and holds both your hands, bringing them to his lips to kiss them goodbye. You were both holding on to each other so tight your knuckles went white. He didn’t want to let go. You knew you were gonna sob your eyes out on the plane. He didn’t need to know that.

He finally let go and the cold air hit your palm for the first time since you got out of the car.

“Now go, and don’t look back”

“If you leave me babe, oh no

If you leave me babe

My tears turn into rain and fall down

And the four seasons will never stop”

———

Fin. don’t even ask. im a sucker for sad plots, sorry not sorry