#in a way she doesn't know any better

[bixels]

Scary Sunset.

I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.

[catebees]

Still thinking about Marian and her way to approach her own feelings.

She was always too busy, "introspection is for the rich folk who have fuckall to do all day. I've got fields to till" (or whatever, I still don't know what she'd do in Ferelden, definitely not mercenary work).

Because of this she very rarely knows what's going on in her head. For most of the time it was a constant whispered uneasiness, like an ache in your bones that will never really leave if you keep breaking your back. And it's not like she can stop, so like. Why address it. It just became background noise.

I wonder how different it would all have been if she had had the tools to figure it out sooner. If she could have been more comfortable in her gender identity, if she could have understood earlier what exactly she wanted and what she could give.

She doesn't realise she doesn't want to be a "woman" until inquisition. "I thought it was normal to dislike being called a lady." Everybody called her Hawke for so long and that felt so good because she was almost a thing, Just A Person. Bull and Krem just look at her like 👁👁

And the same thing goes for romance. She always had people she found interesting and wanted to get to know, people she wanted to impress. She definitely craved some sort of intimacy but never really knew how to get it. A bit of bread shared in the shade with the farmers or a cold drink after work, a job well done, laughter, a slap on the back - that went a long way. That was enough.

The first year in Kirkwall was pretty much the same, the people were different but the beats were there. She probably picked one or two interesting people of the group to exchange looks with and have something to talk about.

Then Varric comes around. Then Merrill and Isabela, Fenris, Anders, Sebastian. That empty space gets filled. And it stays like that for years. And she would be satisfied. Except that this time she gets picked. And when she looks across the table Fenris looks back and it's not some almost-stranger. With them, she could never imagine anything happening. It was a past time. She would always fold before anyone could take her up on her offer.

Fenris chips away at her defences without her noticing, and the same happens to him. And at one point they realise that they can't stay apart.

When I say at one point I mean extremely late. With all that happens in Kirkwall there's no time to stop and figure out what this sort of feeling means. Fenris is the one who initiates things and when he leaves, all she worries about is his wellbeing.

Years later, he is the one asking to try again. And that's what makes it all starts to make sense. "So this is what it feels like to be happy". Which is extremely dangerous.

I said it before but Marian thinks she's cursed. Not like "a witch put a spell on me" but "From Clear Evidence, everybody I love gets taken away from me." It doesn't help that the city is also Disaster Central.

(At one point she develops a sympathy for Saemus Dumar. Nothing romantic, he's much younger than her, but she likes him. Maybe she sees some hope for the future in that kid. She maybe talked with him twice but every time she sees his about she hopes he has a nice day. When he gets killed she wonders if she somehow brought that on him.)

So she never tells Fenris she loves him. They start sleeping -just sleeping- together and it's so obvious how much they care for each other.

The sex is there. It's nice, it's fun. It's a way for Fenris to savour his freedom and to replace bad memories with much sweeter ones. Secretly, she's also conditioning herself. Replacing her first reaction to love with happiness instead of fear.

Some mornings when they're in their new little home in Ferelden, Bethany will go out early with Peach and stay in town for a while. The house is small and they all sleep in one room. When Marian wakes up Fenris is sitting at her side with breakfast. Sometimes they thank Bethany for the privacy. More often they let the hours go by in bed, finally being allowed to slow down.

[mourn-and-watch]

i would really like to see people appreciate beau's growth and character arc more without trying to convince newcomers that "she'll get better eventually just you wait" implying she was such an unbearable character you have to make yourself sit through her scenes. i assure you, she wasn't

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[jabberwockypie]

Filled with perpetual despair that - while my mother traumatized me in multiple ways and left me with physical and emotional scars that I'll carry for the rest of my life - as parents go, like, she's not really even in the Top Ten Worst Parents I know of among people in my social circle?

She did at least recognize that children aren't just . . . potted plants you just have and then don't have to do anything with except yell at them if they make a mess. She understood that children have feelings and need to be taught how to deal with them and that you have to actually engage with your child about their interests and play with them and express that you love them in a way where they like, actually believe it.

Pro-tip: If you can't deal with the fact children make messes, are inconvenient, sometimes annoying, are not just an extension of you, and sometimes you have to say things like "Oh no, what are we going to do, Ariel? :-O" because you have been cast as the fish sidekick in an elaborate mermaid drama? Don't fucking have kids.

Because I will fucking find you and I will tell your kids that you were shit and that the things you did were not okay.

[toastingpencils37]

Nya with the hairband piece in the show Nya with the hairband piece in the show this is not a drill

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

You know guys? Is funny to love the spider-verse movies so much, and fall in love with this ship so hard it consumes your thoughts, and you want Miles and Gwen so badly to get together in the movies-

And then you read the Spider-Gwen comics and now you are praying with all your might that Gwen and Miles DON'T get together in those.

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

[givehimthemedicine]

"I can't lose you" vs. "You're not going"

so many times that Mike expresses love for El or concern for her safety, he frames it on himself, and how losing her would impact him.

it's true that Mike's adolescence shouldn't have to be so heavily shaped by traumatic losses. it's true that El shouldn't be obligated to keep putting her life on the line. these two have this repeatedly clashing survivors guilt / hero complex thing going on that makes this all so complicated. I'm not painting a 13 year old boy as bad for not articulating a complex issue. this isn't an anti-Mike post.

what I'm focused on here isn't Mike's thought process but what El actually hears come out of his mouth, because that's all she has to go on.

and what she keeps hearing from him throughout the show is that his love for her, and wishes for her not to die, tend to sound motivated by fears about the emotional consequences for himself rather than concern for her wellbeing.

2x9. El, about to walk back into the building where she was imprisoned and abused all her life and use her powers to a potentially life threatening intensity with the burden of the literal world on her shoulders, has to spend her parting moment with Mike reassuring him that he won't experience loss.

3x6. El, for the first time in her life finally hears someone say they love her, and in the same breath the frame gets pulled back onto Mike's own fear of loss again, because again it's about her risking her life / using her powers. (not to mention, after it's all over and done without Mike having lost anyone, she tries to follow up on the I love you and he pretends he has no idea what she's even talking about)

4x9. El hears Mike elaborate on the "I can't lose you" concept at length while in doing so literally (ofc unintentionally) causing her to lose Max. his long awaited love declaration speech is focused mostly on himself rather than naming anything he loves about El beyond her abilities. which seems to be the moment it really clicks for El that this ain't it.

now consider El's response to Max's death.

there couldn't have been a more perfect opportunity to give her Mike's usual line, "I can't lose you!" but they didn't draw that parallel.

even in the privacy of the void, El doesn't speak on her own loss. her words are a direct response and reassurance to Max's last ("I don't wanna go, I'm not ready!" -> "You're not going"), even knowing she can't hear her for multiple reasons at this point. she listened to Max. she doesn't make it about herself. her concern is framed solely on Max.

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

This is not prepared at all, so it's likely going to be messier than usual, but I was in the shower earlier thinking about the Golden Girls (as one does) and I drew a couple of conclusions on the topic of how many children does Blanche actually have? that I wanted to share with you all.

So, first of all, let me sum up the controversy. The issue lies with one of Blanche's statements in S3E3 Bringing Up Baby, when she's trying to convince Dorothy to keep the Mercedes she bought with the money they'll supposedly get after Baby's death:

"I want that car, Dorothy. I will give you anything. [...] I'll give you one of my sons. I have given this a lot of thought. I have had four kids, I have never had a Mercedes."

Ok, everything tracks so far. Blanche has had four kids, some of which are sons. We meet her two daughters, Janet and Rebecca, a few times during the series, so the natural conclusion is that Blanche has four kids, two sons and two daughters.

Which is great, except... her next line in S3E3 is this:

"What do you say? Which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy? No, don't take Skippy, he's got asthma."

She names a Biff, a Doug, and a Skippy, so... three sons. Which, in addition to the two daughters we see in the show, makes for a grand total of five kids. Huh.

Alright, we know that Blanche wasn't the best mother ever, but I find it hard to believe that she forgot how many children she has, so: what's going on here? The obvious explanation is, as always, that this is a continuity error (although it's a really egregious one!), but you folks know I prefer to find a Watsonian explanation wherever I can, so let's see if we can figure out anything interesting.

One thing that struck me when I first realized this discrepancy is her use of the words 'I have had four kids'. Not I have, I have had. Why does she use the past tense here? The sentence flows better with it, but it doesn't make a lot of sense in-universe -- unless you think that she's using 'to have a child' to mean 'to bear a child'. If that's the case, then what she's saying translates to 'I have physically given birth to four kids, I have never had a Mercedes.'

I'm sure I don't have to point out the implications of this, do I? If the number of kids Blanche has given birth to is four, but her total number of kids is five, then that means that one of her kids is not hers in the strictly physical sense, i.e. one of Blanche's kids is adopted. This would solve the discrepancy without breaking the canon elsewhere (as far as I can tell, at least).

For a while, this idea remained in the back of my head to examine at a later date, because it still has a number of issues to work through. For one, why would Blanche (and supposedly George) adopt a child? They had kids of their own apparently without any issues -- why adopt another child, instead of, well... making another child, if they wanted one more? I guess it's possible that fertility issues might have arisen at some point, but that seems unlikely for a number of reasons; that kind of problem is generally genetic in nature, and it tends to be diagnosed upon first try, not after four successful pregnancies. So, then... why?

I was stuck on this point for a long while, until I suddenly remembered this conversation between Blanche and Virginia, her younger sister, during S5E11 Ebb Tide:

"I remember when you were 16 and didn't come home for Father's Day." "I was away at school!" "Oh, yes. The Good Samaritan Academy for the Knocked-Up. Two, four, six, eight, all us girls are three months late."

It seems Virginia got into a spot of trouble when she was 16, and was away 'at school' for a while to take care of it. While this might imply that she was sent away to have an abortion, there's also space to hypothesize that she was sent away to carry her pregnancy to term and actually have a baby to then give out to adoption. If this is the case... I wonder if this baby is the one that Blanche and George adopted?

While an adoption seems a bit out of character for young!Blanche (to me, at least: she wasn't interested in her kids, why would she agree to adopt another one?), I think there's some space to consider it. For one, George might have convinced her! We don't know enough about the man to draw clear conclusions, but he did send money to the one child he had out of matrimony (see S5E18 An Illegitimate Concern), so maybe he feels more responsible towards kids near him than Blanche did -- and, well, if he'd asked, Blanche would have agreed immediately, of course. I feel like Big Daddy might have also played a part in this scenario: he could have wanted to keep the child in the family (a Hollingsworth is still a Hollingsworth!), and asked the youngest married couple among his children to take on the responsibility, to shield Virginia from the shame.

Note that this theory has a few issues anyway. For one, while Virginia is Blanche's junior, according to Wikipedia she's only one year her junior, which would put Blanche at 17 when all this happened -- and we know she met and married George much later, when she was already a university student (see S6E9 Mrs George Devereaux). However, I can't find any confirmation for this difference in age in the show itself, so I feel like the hypothesis still deserves some consideration.

As for which of Blanche's children is adopted, well... we can for sure rule out the boys, since she mentions them all by name in S3E3. This leaves her two daughters, Janet and Rebecca. All throughout the series Blanche has a rocky and painful relationship with Janet, even more than she has with the rest of her children:

I would love to have a chance to raise David. I might make up for the mess I made with Janet. [S1E6 On Golden Girls]

Well, honey, I really do want to see you. I think we have a lot to talk about, Janet. I've been thinking a lot about you, lately. [S2E16 And Then There Was One]

"I just talked to my daughter, Janet, and she and my granddaughter, Sarah, are coming to visit in a couple of days. Oh, I've never been so happy!" "Janet? Isn't she the daughter who hates you?" "[...] She doesn't really hate me, Sophia. We just don't see eye to eye." [S7E23 Home Again, Rose: Part 1]

As for Rebecca, while we know they stopped talking for a few years due to a disagreement, she seems remarkably closer to her:

We were always so much alike, and so close, just like Siamese twins. [...] I have missed her. She's always been my favourite. [S3E14 Blanche's Little Girl]

Although Rebecca herself seems to have a different perception on their relationship:

You're not happy, Mama. You're doing it again, you're telling me how to live! [...] Nothing's ever enough for you. I had to be the prettiest, I had to be the most popular, I had to be the brightest... [S3E14 Blanche's Little Girl]

I think there's two possible theories here, neither of which paints Blanche in a good light (but hey, we love these characters because of their qualities as well as their faults, don't we?). If Janet is the child she adopted, I think it's possible she might have been especially neglectful towards her (especially in her first few years); she might have taken her frustration with being convinced to adopt her out on her, as a lack of affection when compared to her other kids. This would explain why the relationship between them is so fraught (certain wounds last a lifetime, I'm afraid).

If Rebecca is the child she adopted, on the other hand, she might have wanted to overcompensate for her abandonment and sort of one-up Virginia ('see, how well I can take care of your daughter? aren't I the better mom?'). She might have showered her with affection (and with expectations, judging from what Rebecca says!) to the detriment of her other kids, which would explain the issues in her relationship with Janet as well.

I don't know. It's obviously very clear that, for all her faults, Blanche adores her children and is deeply pained by her mistakes as a mother; she often expresses regret for her actions and wishes she'd been a better mother:

I realized, too late, that I'd put myself ahead of my children. I've never made up all the time I didn't spend with them. [...] deep down, I wish you were really mine. So I could try again with what I now know. [S2E16 And Then There Was One]

For all that might have happened in the past, it's evident that Blanche loves all her children equally and considers all of them her own, so she's clearly gotten over any issues she might have had -- but that doesn't excuse her past actions, of course.

There's a whole lot that could be said about Blanche's approach to motherhood, how it connects to the way her parents treated her as a child and to her own internal issues, but as for the question of how many children she has, I feel like this is a satisfying possible answer. It's not airtight by any means, and I'm sure there's other ways to explain the discrepancy (they might have adopted a child from George's side of the family, for one, which would change a lot of dynamics); this is just the one that occurred to me. As always, I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts, so do let me know your ideas about all this!

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[chipistrate]

I think it's always gonna bother me how Gregory's hair is modeled so differently than Vanessa and Cassies-

Why do Vanessa and Cassie have visible hair strands when Gregorys hair is really shaped and cartoony?? Like if it was just Cassie having more detailed hair then I'd get it cause they could've just changed how they modeled hair for the DLC, but Vanessa and Gregory are both literally in the same game

[uncanny-tranny]

I always think it's funny that a terrible life is one where "you're alone with no lover and you will only have the company of cats to keep you scarcely tethered to the real world.

Like... don't threaten me with a good time. That is a dream to me

[coquelicoq]

you reread raksura after reading murderbot and you realize that the kethel in the last book is murderbot from an outside POV. like they don't have the same personality obviously, but if the murderbot books were told from the perspective of, say, eletra from the corporation rim, she'd be talking about secunits the way that all the protagonists of the raksura books talk about the fell. which i feel really conflicted about. you write a five-book series (plus two books of short stories) with a biologically evil race and in the later books start deconstructing it and being like "hey maybe our narrators aren't exactly reliable on this point" but by then it's kind of too late imo. idk. she's doing something interesting here but i don't know if it works.

[navree]

people doing this whole "look at how rhaenys acted with corlys's bastard son vs how catelyn acted with jon snow" to demonize one or the other is weird because, like, maybe it's just me, but i think that catelyn and rhaenys had different reactions because they're different people in different situations.

[fromtheseventhhell]

No offense but trans-masc/trans-man headcanons about Arya are so incorrect, I'm sorry. I can't even take them seriously considering this fandom's desire to separate Arya from girlhood/womanhood. I would love it if people would stop trying to divorce female characters (and real women) from their identities as women just because they aren't traditionally feminine.

If we're talking about actual good-faith interpretations, ones that actually work with how Arya is written, then trans-femme is a much better fit. Arya has never had the desire to be a boy or be seen as one, she is fiercely insistent on her identity as a girl and corrects people several times, she doesn't consider herself a "real" Lady because she's not one in the same way her mother and sister are (!!!), she has self-esteem issues from her looks and ability to perform feminine tasks, she actually spends time pretending to be a boy but never considers herself one or enjoys doing it, as time progresses she loses the ability to pass as a boy (!!!), etc. Look at the material!! There's so much there to discuss from that perspective! Arya's non-conformity and how that fits into a society with such strict gender norms is fascinating and there's a lot to discuss there, but calling her trans-masc is one of the laziest interpretations to come up with.