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galadrieljones · 22 days

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Zabel Interview, Team Delusional Round-up, re: the past few weeks (months?) 💫

(Based on an ask from @natural-blue-26! This post contains spoilers, pertaining to the script leak. If you don't want them, turn back!!)

First, let me say that @twdmusicboxmystery has posted an excellent video covering this topic over at her youtube channel. This post is jumping off of that, with some additional takes and analysis by me!

Also, note that I wanted to wait to post or to talk about this too much publicly until today, as I think there are a lot of genuine shippers who might be let down right now. Not all c*rylers are unhappy, unruly people. Many are shippers just like us, and even though I don't ship it, I support them. I am only putting this in the Team Delusional tag, so anyone who sees this is seeing it either because they follow me, follow the tag, follow someone who follows me, or they went looking for it themselves. I am not making drama or inciting a "ship war." If you're here out of anger, I suggest you turn back. I am just going to go over what I see.

The Facts

There has been a recent spate of events that have lead Team Delusional to a rare and more than modest resurgence. Until now, we were mostly just working with templates and symbolism, with a healthy dose of informed meta and speculation: We were seeing how the season 4/5 template was beginning to unfold toward the Grady arc, which includes Carol in a major role.

BUT. Let's check in with what's been going on over the past six months. A lot of this new resurgence starts with Emily's multiple trips to Europe for TWD cons in the past six months, integrated with her (yet unrealized) insinuation that she has been in studio recording one or more songs that Beth sang on TWD. Massive financial burdens aside, these are unusual undertakings for Emily. While she has done many fan cons over the years, visiting Europe twice in a four month period is bizarre (as well as expensive). She also talked openly and excitedly in the panel at French comic-con about how cool it would be if Beth returned. Further, Emily's "re-recording" of "Parting Glass" and possibly other TWD songs was a fairly big announcement for us at the time, but we haven't seen any more on it since. Speculation went everywhere from "She'll be singing in a flashback in Daryl Dixon season 2" to "Her songs will be part of the soundtrack" to "She'll actually BE in season 2, singing, in the present moment."

A lot of these things, if they were spread out over a 5 year period, wouldn't matter at all. But the fact that they're all taking place in the six-month run-up to Daryl Dixon s. 2, when we've already been able to speculate her tenuous return based on templates and other tells, is exciting. It's been almost ten years to the day of Beth's *death.* Why now? The timing on all of this is very suspicious.

Now, a few weeks ago, there was a LEAKED SCRIPT excerpt, which was claimed to be the final scene of DD 2.6. In the script, we learn that Isabelle has died and is appearing to Daryl in the form of a hallucination while he fights walkers in the Chunnel. This was confusing for many reasons. First, we already know, given their ruthless advertisement of the fact, that season 3 is already being filmed in Spain. So why are they headed to England? Also, where the hell is Laurent? Further, Isabelle's death, while unsurprising to many of us, creates some new questions. Many members of a certain *other* ship were ecstatic to learn about Isabelle's death, as Daryl/Isabelle ship rumors have been rampant in the fandom basically since season 1. Forget the fact that the same ship FREAKED out over Daryl/Leah three years ago (a clear nothingburger). Any time another female character even comes into contact with Daryl, a notable portion of fans must make their "displeasure" widely known.

Moving on. Yesterday, an article came out summarizing a yet-unreleased interview with David Zabel in SFX magazine. You can read it here. In the interview, Zabel makes the following comment about "C*ryl":

"The obvious thing to do, and the easier thing to do would be, 'Okay, now they're falling in love and they're a couple.' But I always felt like that would be a mistake, because it would feel like you were going into the TV book of tricks," he explains. "To me, there was never a question that [their connection] was something other than what it is, and what it seems to want to be, and why it works so well."

Zabel then goes on to hint at a highly-contentious romance with Daryl and Isabelle:

"What happened in season one was that you could see a connection forming, for sure," he says. "We didn't manufacture that but we left room for it. A lot of season two is about the development of that and where that relationship goes, and that little surrogate family of Isabelle, Daryl and Laurent."

Now, the full interview doesn't come out until September 4, at which point, we may get a clearer picture of what's going on. However, it seems that Zabel is politely declining the "C*ryl as romance" narrative. In the quote, he uses the excuse of wanting to avoid TV tropes; however, he then goes on to say (in a portion of the quote that is being wildly misinterpreted among the c*ryl ship) that "To [him]," there was "never a question that [their connection was something other than what it is." He then equates "what it is" with "what it seems to want to be" and "why it works so well." The misinterpretation is coming with that second part. "What it is" = friendship. Zabel is clearly saying that c*ryl "seems to want to be" exactly "what it is," aka: a sacred friendship and nothing more. He's basically saying that this already "works so well," and so why fix what ain't broke? Why create a romance between two characters who are clearly just very, very good friends when he could go another, more interesting direction?

Certain c*ryl accounts have misinterpreted that section of the quote. They seem to think he's saying that the c*ryl ship "seems to want to be" something else, something other than what it is. But if you follow the grammatical logic of the sentence, you can see that they're wrong here. It wants to be what it already is, which is friendship. Of course, to c*rylers, what it already is = romance, but that isn't canon. There's no proof of this. In fact, there's more proof to the contrary, that they're best friends. They're family. Carol was married to somebody else, raised a child with him, still holds a contentious relationship with the other man, allowed Daryl to toil away in the woods alone for five years because she needed to stay with her husband...

In addition to factual evidence from the show, the C*ryl Friendship Campaign has been going strong on social media for MONTHS. In her video this morning, twdmusicboxmystery also goes over quasi-recent comments from Angela Kang which are UNSUPPORTIVE of a c*ryl romance. The notion that this perspective is coming out of nowhere, which some fans are claiming as a way of blaming Zabel for either lying or betraying his fanbase (and the actors), is, frankly, absurd.

Please note that I'm not saying that nobody should ship c*ryl just because it isn't canon. That would be silly. I ship non-canon ships all the time. BETHYL is a non-canon ship! I've written whole fanfics for Beth and Daryl (well, I've tried lol, but most remain unfinished). It's one of the funnest parts of being in a fandom.

What I'm saying is that c*ryl is NOT CANON. It never has been. And the people who get angry about this, who want to get professionals fired over this, who think that they're entitled to getting exactly what they want, lest the show perish, are wrong. They're doing it wrong. It's totalitarian and, frankly, obsessive. This is not how you be in a fandom, and my interpretation here of the Zabel interview in conjunction with the C*ryl Friendship Campaign is that they are TRYING to let this highly volatile and frankly unpleasant faction of the fandom down lightly in an effort to get them off tptb's AND the actors' backs. They don't want to deal with this shit anymore. And by the way, they're actually not leading anyone on. They've been insanely clear here, in their rebranding of c*ryl to a platonic ship, as to what's happening and what's going on, and while I really do feel for the good people who may feel let down by this, I am GLAD to see that the showrunners aren't going to heed the demands of one tiny, loud faction of a giant fandom, and that despite the haters, they're going to tell the story they want to tell.

ANYWAY.

Over the past 48 hours, things have gotten...weird. Zabel's interview dropped less than a day after the TWD Skybound social media accounts appear to have...posted a Bethyl edit out of nowhere. @sweetz1919 also posted early this morning, bringing together a few more Beth-related posts on either official accounts or *near* official accounts, which post promotional material, and which are followed by AMC TWD. One of these posts is a repost on twitter by Scott Gimple, who so rarely posts on social media, that any time he does, it's like a unicorn, symbolically notable and certainly important.

Now, pertaining to the Zabel interview, another wide complaint taking place in the c*ryl camp is that Zabel is likely LYING or he is being taken grossly out of context, because if c*ryl isn't happening, AND Isabelle is going to die, then how could Daryl POSSIBLY get his happy ending?

THIS is where Team Delusional comes in. Of course, we have our theories. Most people think WE'RE the delusional ones. And maybe we are! Lol. I don't really care. Most of our theories are crafted through a TON of hard, circumstantial, pattern-driven, and symbolic evidence, evidence taken from IRL sources, and hypotheses made after paying very close attention to what's been going on and making LOTS and LOTS of connections over a period of many years. Me, myself, I've only been here for four, but some of you guys have been doing this for almost ten, and for that, I salute you! As I said earlier, TD has been theorizing Beth's "return" in DD2 based greatly on symbolic and template-driven evidence alone for a while. A lot of what we're seeing now on social media is playing directly into our hand.

Emily in Europe multiple times in a 4mo period, including a trip to Paris, with her latest stint being just a week before "official" filming for season 3 was set to begin? Emily re-recording tracks from TWD? Leaked script pages in which Daryl mentions Beth specifically AND suggest that Isabelle is going to die? Romantic!C*ryl = not happening? HOW could Daryl possibly get his happy ending now? The rest is TD theory, ie: WHY we think Beth will come back to manifest Daryl's "happy ending." Speculation and theories on how she could come back, the connection to Spain/England/France, that's basically all we talk about lol, each of us with our own interests and niche perspectives, all arriving at the same point.

SO while there is still no proof that she is coming back, all of this is a Good thing, actually. For us. Because while everyone is looking around, freaking out, wondering what's going to happen next, we are seeing and able to read a LOT of signs that others ignore. And rightly so! There's no reason the rest of the GA needs to think that Beth is legitimately coming back. That would overshadow Carol's role in season 2, which is significant. It's just important that the GA REMEMBERS who Beth IS, that she was important to Daryl, and that hey, people used to really like Beth, and they liked Beth and Daryl together, and that was hopeful, and nice for him, and he hasn't had much "hope" or "niceness" since, and wouldn't it be nice if he could have that again...? All of these things are really there to do just this: let the c*ryl ship down easy, and remind people that Daryl once held a very strong connection to a woman whose life "ended" too soon, and who has really never been mentioned again.

While I really have no idea what's coming next, I wonder if we'll begin to see more astroturfed discussion on Beth's *death.* How weird it was, what the hell was going on at Grady, etc. If we don't see it in promotional material, we may hear about it in-show. Because if Daryl is casually mentioning Beth (along with Merle and Glenn) to Isabelle's ghost/vision in episode 2.6, then this likely implies that he's told her about Beth before, and that he's talked to her about what happened. It implies that Isabelle knows who Beth is, which would be a truly insane development, since he's literally never talked about her to anyone, including Carol, as far as we know.

So anyway, as usual, we should all just keep our heads down, chins to our chest, keep hope alive, but with a balanced sense of anticipation. We still really don't know what's going to happen, so it's important to be rational, but it also won't hurt to have a little faith 💫

#team delusional

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buffyfan145 · 3 months

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Have you seen the new Saurondriel Empire Magazine covers? 👌 Two versions each of them; One of them Galadriel and Halbrand both in deep green and gold; Another, Galadriel and Annatar, both blonde, and both wearing silvery-grey with snake-like branches or vine patterns. As @shady-swan-jones pointed out, Empire really went there and established Saurondriel as the Main Couple of TROP, that also happen to be the Main Adversaries of the series. It's their story. Also, someone apparently posted Charlie's interview which says that Sauron "Wants to dominate," and he usually makes his appearence fit to appeal to different people's tastes. Annatar fits Celebrimbor like Halbrand fit Gal. However, I feel like Sauron was surprised that Gal found a scarred human smith so appealing. He liked her regard and ran with it. With Celli, he's being way more calculating and sinister.

I just got back online after binge watching both "The Bear" and "My Lady Jane" to all of this and I'm loving it!!! 😀 I had a feeling a lot of the promo we'd still get for s2 would still be Haladriel focused and I wasn't wrong. They still are the most popular ship on this show, and even so many fans who aren't shippers are so excited about fully getting Sauron/Halbrand's side of things and like Charlie said "being in on it with him", and they're the main hero and villain so it all makes sense. I love the covers too, especially Galadriel's dress, and seeing both sides of both of them.

Love that Charlie confirmed too he's made each form for them. We all knew about from the books about Annatar and Celebrimbor, but amazing to get this and that he made Halbrand for Galadriel. That even fits with our theories after season 1 aired that Galadriel would always see him as Halbrand for the rest of the 2nd and 3rd Ages, and maybe even beyond. Also I'm pretty sure he'll be back as Halbrand when he goes back to Numenor too as after the fall of Eregion he can't be Annatar either, but the Numenorian know him as Halbrand and will likely follow someone they think they can trust.

But yeah I don't think he expected Galadriel to actually fall for him and she did. That's where their relationship is so different from how it is with Celebrimbor and even Adar, as there are feelings there on both sides.

There's going to be more in the magazine too for all the other characters and excited to find out when that's out next week.

#the lord of the rings #the rings of power #spoilers #haladriel #galadriel x halbrand #sauron #halbrand #annatar #charlie vickers

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citrusrick · 10 months

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s7e5 Unmortricken (HUGE SPOILERS)

HOLY. SHIT. i did not expect this at all and was so fucking excited!! we've all been waiting for this for a looong time, both the rick prime and the evil morty returns! and they gave it to us in one episode!

there is soooo much to unpack in this episode, but i'm dumping all my initial thoughts into this post. i feel like every scene during this episode my mind was turning so fast. this episode broke me and healed me, idek. i just need to take a minute and stare at the wall in silence for a while. my brain is just a mantra of god i fucking love this show so fucking much.

evil morty not only being smarter than c137, but prime is so fucking cool. definitely hoping we see more of him in the future, especially with how he downloaded the schematics of prime's brain. his plotline is definitely not completely finished. (especially 'the rick project'? very interested in that tbh)

needless to say, c137 and prime's (and evil morty's) fight was fucking awesome and well-done. especially the very last when rick gets to just beat him to death, thanks to evil morty. also, we see a rick’s ego get him once again with the mindset of ‘a morty could never outsmart/get me’, and boom.

i loved how it ended simply like that, no gadgets, just punching the shit out of him until he dies while prime keeps saying things he thinks will cut deep. prime telling c137 that nothing he has now actually belongs to him, AGH! no words. just thinking about how hard that must've been for rick to assimilate into the family, so fucking painful.

learning that prime not only killed rick c137's diane, but ALL dianes across all the infinite realities makes a lot of things come together and make sense. basically, prime threw a massive fit over some rick's not wanting to drop everything to join him in his universe-hopping. also prime giving rick shit for his car sounding like diane when he literally modeled his kill bots after her is so fucking ironic lmao

rick prime saying he missed when he was just him and rick, the only two to actually invent portal travel, really interested me. so this means that both prime and c137 are the 'rickest rick'. also c137's diane was not killed with the omega machine, as we saw her and little beth killed with a bomb.

when i first saw that poster with rick and morty covered in 'spaghetti sauce' while morty hugs rick, i knew it was gonna end up being in an episode with blood all over them and i was half-right, since rick's the only one covered in blood when morty hugs him in this episode lol

another little thing i noticed, they very prominently showed us prime and c137's cybernetic wiring tangling together in a shot during the fight. is this something that'll be relevant later or just like a random shot?

i think it's possible rick prime isn't dead, maybe left alive by c137 for some reason we don't know yet. we don't necessarily see prime die only c137 come out covered in blood and imply that prime's gone. (i noticed tear tracks on in the blood on rick's face and thought i was tripping at first but he was crying, shattering my heart over here).

if it was truly that simple and rick prime is truly gone forever, rick now has to move on with the rest of his life and figure out who he is without this need for revenge driving him. i'm so nervous to see what happens after this. it'll either free him or destroy him.

p.s. that post credit scene, which was (in my opinion) showing us what would've happened with rick and birdperson if things were different between them. just a little thing i thought of, and i'm not even a huge birdperson/rick shipper.

p.s.s. and even if it's not about rick/birdperson specifically, it still means rick could've chosen a different path if he'd been able to let go of his need to kill rick prime and get revenge.

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 spoilers #rick and morty season 7 #rick prime #rick c137 #rick sanchez #morty smith #rnm season 7 spoilers

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apple-orchards-writings · 7 months

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i just KNOW that if you're extra sweet and obedient (no running away!!) to cult leader kylar he'd spoil you... fancy gothic gowns and only the finest silky fabrics on your skin, your bath water is always scented with pretty flowers like jasmine and honeysuckle, and he never lets anyone else touch you.

i feel like when he's busy with his duties as leader, he'd issue a group of specially appointed handmaidens (high ranking cult members who would do anything for him, including worshipping you) to take care of you when he isn't present and get you all pretty for him when he comes home. but the moment one of them touches you too sensually for his liking (this can be ANYTHING!! LIKE!! AN UNASSUMING BRUSH AGAINST YOUR THIGH AS THEY WALK PAST YOU) and kylar's already seething with rage - summoning an inhuman abomination that vaguely resembles himself, rendering the assailant into a thick red paste on the hallway floor.

cradles you so, so possessively after. you can feel him shaking with rage as he cards his fingers through your freshly-washed hair. doesn't take any of his anger out on you because he believes you're a gift, something that he should cherish and never subject to that ugly side of himself. if you ask him about anything like 'going home' you'll be met with a sickly sweet smile that doesn't reach his eyes. reminds you that this is your home now! don't fret over your origins or silly things like that, kylar doesn't mind! just focus on your newly-wed husband, okay? (also considering the possibilities of a wedding night ritual... involving CL kylar covered in a lot of blood and a petrified pc...)

(also. I SCREECHED WHEN YOU POSTED THIS BECAUSE IVE HAD AN ASK IN MY INBOX THAT HAS BEEN MARINATING FOR AT LEAST TWO MONTHS ABOUT CULT LEADER KYLAR ANDA NDSJSJSJS ...I've been too intimidated to answer it. i will tag you and ur original post when i answer it eventually BSHDNSKS -kuu)

KUU YOU ARE MAKING MY DAY HERE

but wow yeah, the marriage ritual with kylar's body being covered in blood, and he's dipping his fingers in the bowl of what you fervently hope is red paint, slowly dragging them over your body and creating what seem to be markings for a ceremony. Once he's satisfied with painting every nook and cranny of your body, the lights will go dim and his eyes will glow, with his pupils changing shape.

He'll embrace you and you'll spend what feels like an eternity in this room, eventually coming out to see that a week has passed. Kylar will not stop grinning, overjoyed at the fact that you are now bound to him forever, and won't be able to escape him even in death.

The group of handmaidens that tend to you weren't allowed to speak to you before this, but now that you're officially Kylar's, they're so excited to gossip with you! But their new familiarity with you does not mean they'll help you in any way, so be careful. They just love seeing their leader so happy, it would be a shame if anything got in the way of that. In a way, they are your number one shippers lmao

#apple answers #kuu i have so many thoughts about him and none of them are articulate im sufferinggggg #cult leader kylar

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k-s-morgan · 9 months

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Happy New Year! Wishing you peace, happiness and of course safety❤️. I was just wondering how far into the new chapters you've got for your Tomarry story and batjokes stories ? Which one will be updated first and what will the word counts be ?

Another ask by @amaryllis7atzori: Hello, hope you're fine right now... when will be released the next chapter of "And the living will envy the dead"? Very soon I hope <3

Another ask: Hey! I Hope everything is going well. I’m praying for all of those soldiers on the front lines and that all the civilians stay safe. Stay strong <3.

On another note I’m super excited about your Batjokes story because I’ve been following all of your other fandom stories for awhile and seeing that you ALSO like batjokes was such a pleasant surprise because all I ever see is Superman/Batman as a hardcore batjokes shipper :( Any hints on the next chapter?

----------

Thank you all so much for your wishes and for your support and prayers! Third anon, I was so surprised to see that Batman/Superman is the most popular ship when there is Batman/Joker right there - I know it's bias speaking, though, it always feels like my ships are the best :D

About my Tomarry and Batjokes fics: none of them is in active progress right now because I'm still finishing the chapter for my Black Butler story. When I'm finally done with it, I'll be writing both stories simultaneously, but the Batjokes one will be updated first because its word count will be smaller: I imagine the chapter will be somewhere between 12-16K words. The Tomarry chapter will take about 40K words since it'll be covering the period from January to the start of the summer, and quite a lot of things will happen during this time.

#my fics #personal #tomarry #batjokes

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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year

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Happy Saturday :) We have reached S2 Finale. I can’t believe we are here already. Feels like I just started on S2. This has really helped me get through this unusually long hiatus. Fun we can do this together. Thank you all for lovely likes, comments, and re-blogs on last one. I had a lot of fun writing it. Not a ton of Chenford in this one sadly.

So it'll be a lot shorter than our content heavy ones. It is closing an important chapter for Tim though which is important to go over. This is a fairly Nolan forward ep and its good but low Chenford. It’s time to close out this season so let’s get started.

2x20 The Hunt

We start off with our couple just starting their day. Tim confides in her about an informant he has a beat on. Love him confiding in her about this BTW. They are a slow burn with a lot of little pay offs like this we get to see along the way. I love it. Tim tells her about vice having an informant for the last 9 months in the Derain organization. A man named Cisco. Lucy gets excited cause means that he could give them Serj. A much needed win after losing the weapon that killed Chris. They don't have much on him right now. So this would be huge if they could track him down. I love how intently she listens to him knowing him sharing this is a huge show of trust.

Although this is a great lead for them Tim is worried he’s been killed. Says he hasn’t replied to a meet since yesterday. Before we continue I must note I will forever and ALWAYS love him opening doors for her. Like second nature habit with him. He never allows himself to go first. Makes my shipper heart happy. Chivalry is sexy af with Tim Bradford. He shows that constantly with her. I've said before it's the little things that make me happy. I also love them having their own secret op. I need more of this in S6. They’re going to try and track down this informant and see if they can find out where he’s hiding if he's not dead.

Their secret op is going to start with trying to see if he can be found at his normal places. Tim mentions checking their new sex trade businesses and a karaoke bar. Lucy makes a joke how she can’t believe a karaoke bar could be a front for a brothel. Tim and his jaded cop ways saying it’s LA of course it could be haha I mean where’s the lie? Ha That anywhere in this city is a cover for a brothel. Her reply and facial expression is priceless LOL

Lucy mentions it’s Rachel’s last night. Asking if Tim has anything planned? Tim doesn’t say much just dinner and taking her to airport. He is being very detached about the whole thing. Defaulting a little to his old ways with this. Lucy can’t help herself and give him a hard time about the airport though. Let’s note the smile he’s flashing in the first gif when she’s teasing him. You know that man loves it when she does.

She also calls him out on his ‘visiting’ plans. Clearly Rachel told her Tim would come see her after she moves. Tim continues his further detachment. Says no that he’s just going to be straight with her. Rip that emotional bandaid off about this. Insisting just like he did in 2x18 that long distance doesn’t work. (Also this scene continues my love of their height difference. These shots are my fav. I must comment on them every time ha)

Lucy can't help herself in trying to help him see it could work. She hates him having to go through this. The look on her face says it all. She hates the idea of him just giving up. That continued guilt of setting them up and watching it fall apart. Tim is decided and says no it’s not going to and he doesn’t see it happening at trying. Now we all know if it was Lucy he would wait for her. Make the effort. Show her she’s worth that effort. But this is Rachel and she is not that person for him.

Hell it’s why in 5x08 when Tim tells Lucy ‘She deserves someone who’s worth the effort’ was him saying she would be for him. That he would be willing to make ANY effort for her. Rachel was not that for him and this just shows in this episode. She helped him heal a lot post-Isabel but not deep enough of a connection for that kind of effort. Lucy finishes their convo out with saying she’s going to miss Rachel. Tim cracks a little emotionally and says me too…

They’ve reached one of the spots they’re checking for Cisco. Once again Tim opens the door for her. She even says Thank you *be still my heart* I love these two so much. They use the guise of their ABC’s to check out this place. To be able to get eyes on everyone there if possible by doing this. The lady who runs this place is a real peach. Tells them to kiss her ass. That she follows the rules. Even the dumb ones. Tim doesn't care about her attitude they are there for a reason.

They have everyone step out into the hallway. Clearly seeing if they can get eyes on Cisco if he's there. This is a pretty slick way of getting him to show himself. To be able to get to him without exposing the real purpose of their visit. I love watching them work in the field for this reason. They are a well oiled machine at this point. Very fun to watch them in action. I will say it is sexy to watch Tim dissect this business with his cop eyes. Walking through the hallway as Lucy follows his lead. Ready to follow any play he has in mind. Lucy finds the one door still shut. Alerts Tim and he knocks on the door to get them to come out. That’s where they find Cisco thankfully.

Tim pretends he is coping an attitude with him and shoves him back into the room. He "searches" him so they can talk. Cisco says after the shooting everyone's phones were taken. So Tim gets him a new phone since his old one was taken. Slips it into his pocket during his "search' Tells him to text him Serj’s location. Not gonna lie love watching him in this mode. 'Take no shit from anyone' mode right now. He’s already suppressing how he’s feeling about Rachel leaving so he’s a little pent up. It’s coming out here just a bit. Tim ends their convo and says he’s clean to the hallway of people. Then he and Lucy leave having gotten what they came for.

Rachel calls Tim expecting him to be at the station. She’s on speakerphone so Lucy can hear everything. He says the day got away from him he can be back in 20 minutes. Clearly having forgotten the time for their dinner. Lucy interrupts and says Cisco texted them a location. You can see the regret on his face he apologizes he won’t make it now. Rachel is also devastated he can’t make it. He apologizes profusely.

She tells him she’ll text him when she lands…In New York…Poor Tim looks so sad he’s disappointed her. He’s such a loyal person to not come through for someone is going to weigh on him. Before Lucy can say a word he says ‘it’s better this way’ her face though... Lucy has learned when to say something and when not to. This is one of those times. Doesn't say a word let's him be. She’s hurting for him though. It's written all over his face how upset he is about this. Not the way he wanted them to end.

Luckily they’re able to get to converge on Serj quickly and arrest him. Tim is able to catch her before she leaves. This is a huge moment for growth for him believe it or not. Instead of just shunting away his feelings about her leaving. (Which he was doing this entire ep and ever since she announced she was leaving really) And ignoring everything their relationship was for him he faces it. Tim's way of showing her this relationship meant a lot to him. Honestly It did she was his first real one since his divorce. It was an important chapter for him. I’ve said it all season. I am grateful to Rachel. To everything she helped him heal over.

Showing him he could open up again and have a healthy relationship. One with the possibility of a deep future. She helped heal that portion of himself. Show him he was capable of it. Which ultimately opened him up for Lucy in the future. Tim tells her he’s willing to actually give this long distance thing a go. He can't predict the future but wants to try. Now we all know they don’t make it past this episode. Because she was not his person. The growth is him pushing past his usual M.O. of suppression.

By facing what he was feeling and trying to make it work instead of being stubborn and not even trying. Lucy set them up because she wanted him to get past his S1 trauma. To push past all the crap Isabel dragged him through last season. To see him happy. That he deserved that so much in her opinion. So I’ll always be grateful for the role Rachel played in his life. It helped him eventually get to where he could be with Lucy. After this episode this chapter with her is now closed. I would get a kick out of her finding out about them now. Be interesting what she would say. Alrighty that’s all she wrote for s2 finale.

~~~~~

Side Notes-Non Chenford

Not a ton of chenford the episode mainly focus on John and his terrible decision making skills LOL I would've done things so differently than he did my god. Pained me to watch his terrible choices through out the episode.

Only good thing he does is go to Roslyn for insight. But the rest I would've done so differently. Harper put her career on the line for him and he just did most of it with out her. Loved Armstrong saying 'You know your problem John? You think you're better than people.' He was a dirty cop but damn if that isn't true LOL

Kills me every time to watch him tear apart that beautiful home looking for the evidence though.

Unreal we’re done with s2. Thank you to everyone who’s been with me since the pilot, to the newer ones who’ve joined me in s2, I appreciate you all more than I can say. The likes/comments/reblogs are the best. I shall see you in s3 :)

#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #summer rewatch #waiting on s6 #s2 #2x20 The Hunt #the rookie 2x20 #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well #otp: some things matter more #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #tim bradford x lucy chen

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deadbydad · 1 year

Text

My Opinion On The Kuai Liang is Scorpion Thing

So there has been a clip going around of the developer or the creater, which one I don't really remeber, accidentaly slipping out a hint that Kuai Liang is Scorpion in Mortal Kombat 1.

And I want to give my opinion on this, not just as a fan of Hanzo and Kuai, but also as a SubScorp fan and shipper.

A lot of fans are confused or just down right angry and pissed at this, but I am honestly not shocked and like this idea and am very curious on how this is going to work out. I also think that some of these people who are angry and pissed because of this, not all just some, are kind of overreacting.

Let me explain why I think this.

Mortal Kombat 1 is a reboot, a new timeline that the Fire God Liu Kang had created, also NetherRealm did this as well but that doesn't matter right now. But Liu Kang decided to change things up a bit, and with this he made Kuai Liang Scorpion and not Hanzo Hisashi like he originally is. And I personally can't wait to see what they do with this, but I will say that I am excited for what that will be.

And my opinion for all of the people who are mad about this situation, I get where you're coming from, but Hanzo has been through so fucking much that honestly he deserves a damn break from being Scorpion and instead he now has the chance to have a happy life. To have a wife and son that aren't murdered, he won't have to be under Quan Chi's spell, and he can be happy. He deserves that, and I definitly think that he is going to be in the game, but not as a playable character.

And I think that's a good idea.

Liu Kang gave this guy a break after he was fucking murdered in Mortal Kombat 11, and I am okay with that.

Some people also have to realize that just because Kuai is now Scorpion doesn't mean you don't have to stop shipping him with Hanzo. It just won't be as Sub-Zero and Scorpion. You also, in my opinion, should give this a chance before really judging it because we don't really know the whole story and if Hanzo is even in the game. This could be a good thing and it could work if NetherRealm does it right, and by looking at this game it seems like they might be going in the right direction. Don't let one tiny thing that you don't even know the whole story about or where it's going with this descision until you've fully grasped, witnessed, and learned the whole reason and backstory for this idea that was made.

It's a reboot, not everything is going to be the same, and judging something and hating it just because it doesn't fit what you like or don't like is stupid.

In my opinion.

What happened to not judging a book by its cover?

Sometimes this fandon makes me mad, but that's going to be a different post on a different day.

I'm just saying that while we don't know if Hanzo is going to be in the game or not, I believe that people should witness Kuai Liang as Scorpion fully and learn why they made this descision before actually judging it and either hating or loving it.

Again, you shouldn't just decide to hate on the game just because you don't like one thing that doesn't fit with your opinion when they game isn't even out and when there is still a lot of stuff we don't know.

I think that that is just being stupid and ridiculous.

Now hate me all you want, but this is my opinion and I hope you can respect it. I respect everyone elses opinions and what they're feeling, and I think you shouldn't hate me just because I don't agree with you. That's being childish.

Thank you.

Edit: "Some people also have to realize that just because Kuai is now Scorpion doesn't mean you don't have to stop shipping him with Hanzo. It just won't be as Sub-Zero and Scorpion." Let me rephrase that.

I meant that just because Kuai is now Scorpion, doesn't mean that you have to stop shipping him with Hanzo. This reboot is just basically Liu Kang restarting the timeline, and there are other timelines that still have Kuai Liang as Sub-Zero and Hanzo Hisashi as Scorpion. There are multiple timelines in Mortal Kombat.

But still, you can still ship them even in this new timeline, it just will be different.

It's not the end of this ship.

#kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #subscorp #mk scorpion #mk sub zero #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #liu kang

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phxntomhives · 5 months

Text

Welcome to my sideblog

That has most likely become my main one. But idk how to change main and second one. So yeah. So if you see @phxntomhives-98 it's still me. I just don't know why sometimes I can't switch accounts and sometimes I can.

I will try to keep this blog mostly related to Kuroshitsuji and twst but who knows what I will like next. From memes (mostly repost because I am not that funny) to theories you can find anything here.

I am not spoiler free BUT I try my best to protect the new fans and hide things under the cut. Unfortunately, I am human, so you may run into spoilers, I am truly sorry.

I am 25, she/her pronouns, INTP. I would love to get to know more people in the fandoms I am in, but eeeh my social skills are lacking. So feel free to hit my dms, I don't bite I promise. I am trying to make more moots/mutuals pls

Here most thing you can find me posting about/comments etc (under the cut because it became long ops)

Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler

Sebaciel shippers do not interact. I will just block and move on. If you see me liking one post tagged like that it's because I am stupid and I don't always read the tags, pls let me know and I will fix the problem.

Now that the important part is over: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW SEASON AAH. The Weston College arc is my favourite so I am very happy and it feels so nice to see my children here :3

I am up to date with the manga as well, so if you need to cry with someone, I am here. Sobbing.

My fave is Ciel, and Lizzie slander shall not be tolerated (half joking, you are free to dislike her but I am ready to fight at any time to defend her).

A couple of things you may want to check? If you are bored???

New manga chapter comments under: #Phxntomhives Kuro manga yapping

Analysis/theories

"The Parade of Battlers" song analysis

Finny grew up (chapter 211 spoilers)

Short analysis of the GFantasy May cover

The unlucky fate of the P4

Silly theory of the cricket's ending dance

Edgar sure is very much unlucky when it comes to life decision...

About Lizzie's anger (reblog theory)

Chapter 209 crack theory (to welcome denial)

Short analysis of Bluewer talking to Ciel during the Midnight party (from a reblog)

Short analysis of Undertaker's GFantasy cover

Headcanons

P4 headcanons

My kuro AU, kuro AU pt 2

Gregory scream headcanons (kind of angst)

Pandora Hearts

Very new to the fandom and I understood like half of it. Anyway it's beautiful and you all should read it! Come cry with me!

Here some fresh thoughts after I read the last chapter

Headcanon to hurt my soul

Vanitas no carte/The case study of Vanitas

Up to date with both anime and manga! And not so patiently waiting for each update. I miss them, I hope for a new chapter soon.

Twisted Wonderland (JP SERVER)

Up to date with main story and eons behind with the events ops. No I do not know japanese, tho I am trying to learn, but I started the game when that was the only version avaiable and I will not start again on eng server sorry. (Technically I have started but I had no more space on my phone and one had to go)

If you are curious about what I think about the story check #phxntomhives twst yapping (because I plan to type a lot and refuse to keep updating this list it's supposed to be pretty after all)

Theories

Events are canon. Part 2: wish upon a star.

Silver gets a title copium.

Tokyo Aliens

READ IT LEGALLY. FOR FREE. HERE I TELL YOU HOW.

WHY IS THERE NO FANDOM IT'S SUCH A NICE STORY. PLEASE GIVE IT A CHANCE.

I AM LIVING OF HALF A POST AND FANMADE TRANSLATION. HELP.

Parallels between Tokyo Aliens and Negai no Astro

Spoiler/Analysis from scans: chapter 41, chapter 42, chapter 43, chapter 44, chapter 45, chapter 46, chapter 47, chapter 48, chapter 49, chapter 50 (After I added these I basically took over the tags plsssss)

Dr stone

It's appearing more on my feed so I had the feeling I had to add this lol. I love it dearly, I finished the manga and I need to catch up with the anime. I am extremely worried about the rumored (?) new volume that is coming ngl

Negai no Astro

Damn, I am hooked.

Parallels between Tokyo Aliens and Negai no Astro

Aaand honestly many more, feel free to ask! If it helps, here is my not updated because it takes forever MyAnimeList! But I probably missed many of them so really, just come and ask.

I may drop some suggestions to read too sometimes, here they are

Suggestions for you <3

Why you should read Merry Marbling

If you like Negai no Astro or Tokyo Aliens PLEASE CHECK THE OTHER SERIE MENTIONED.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #twisted wonderland #tokyo aliens #twst #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #mutuals #searching for mutuals #negai no astro #pandora hearts

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eclipseaotters · 1 year

Text

Give lover boy Tae a break okay

or: jikookers’ taennie protectors era

Since we’re all open to differing opinions here, this is gonna be a totally different one. Let me rant in my side account so you don’t grab your torch and pitchforks on my main. I’m talking to a wall here but i need to let it out.

I agree that something changed in the air re: Tae and yes I do think it started after Taennie’s photos were leaked BUT HEAR ME OUT.

Try to remember how it was when gurumi surfaced. Seeing the whole thing unfold in real time was horrible—people waiting on the latest photos, fans from both sides scrambling to cover it up saying it’s edited or it’s not them. It was messy. But anyone with eyes and a decent brain knew they were real photos. So it’s extra scary.

It started in August. By October, headlines looked like this:

A whole iCloud account was involved. There was a group chat with hundreds of people. Threats from the awful leaker were THIS bad:

And even then, people were disgustingly excited about an impending dating scandal instead of being concerned about artists’ privacy. Go figure. It was a really, really bad time.

So let me be the really odd one out among jkkrs by saying I understand and genuinely accept why Tae had to amp up tkk interactions AND I’m not calling him out on it. Let me even go as far as saying tkkrs (and Jenlisa shippers i think) were the silver lining during the peak of the Taennie revelations.

Tae and Jennie can’t afford to be found out now, period. We all saw the reaction of the two fandoms and the malicious nosiness of the media after the “accidental” IG follow. And it was just that. What more if it’s a full-blown dating scandal? So any little contribution against the exposé helps, whether it’s proving that they’re in different locations, or appeasing and/or fueling rabid same-sex shippers so they can water down loud intrigue as well as support for Taennie.

I understand why a lot of jikookers, jimin lovers, don’t approve. It fuels the cult and validates them. And some of us are worried it fuels more hate against Jimin. But in a bigger picture, does a few tweaks in Tae’s behavior, a few more tkk interactions, really significantly change things for the worse? It really doesn’t, I think, because even if tkk don’t interact, the cult’s constant hating on Jimin will still be a thing.

I think it’s more of us we’re really thinking about here. How Tae’s actions hurt us because it fuels a cult that spreads hate against Jimin. But for Jungkook, Jimin, Tae? What their haters (and shippers) do is insignificant to them. They don’t go around looking for the hate. They see it on the weverse lives, yeah, but I’m pretty sure they’re (sadly) desensitized already. It’s been like that ever since. If they ever feel it’s too much even for them, they’ll call it out the way Joon did.

So let Tae do his thing and let the boys help, yeah? Let the cult be validated because that actually helps a lot in the short term. Taennie don’t have the luxury to be in the middle of a dating scandal in such a transitional, unstable time. All eyes are on them.

At his very core, Tae doesn’t bullshit, please. That’s what I love about him the most. When it got bad before and Jennie’s friend was involved, he acted immediately.

So for Tae to behave the way he is doing now—it’s because he HAS to. It helps.

It’s not just Jikook who knows how to be loud to those who listen, Tae does too. He’s also trying his best to be loud to those listening. Did you watch his latest live? The song he played? Snippets of songs he’s written? Have you been seeing how more romantic Tae’s been the past year? Man’s so in love he can barely contain it.

He could rival Jungkook in the fight for the bigger hopeless romantic (but Jungkook just had to do a series of indisputable-number-1-fan things just weeks ago so he’s still the OG smitten lover boy lol look at him).

Anyway, Tae’s not one to hide but this time he has to because it has serious ramifications to their careers. They’re two of the biggest stars in SK, heck, two of the biggest Korean stars in the world. Both of their groups have a global reach. They have so much to lose.

So please give Tae a break :( Taennie (and Jikook and all of them) are not one-dimensional characters. They’re human and they want to be able to live like humans. If you were in Tae’s shoes, and it’s tried and tested that your actions towards your bandmate—no matter how horrible your shippers are—doesn’t even directly affect their partner/your other bandmate, you might just be doing the same. It’s not even a big deal.

Bottomline is I’m acknowledging the change in Tae’s behavior; I’m just not against it because it doesn’t affect Jikook and it’s not ill-intentioned. He’s only playing the people who want to be played, and that shouldn’t be a large portion of us on this side, because his target audience for that is waaaay over there in rainbow text land.

When you fully absorb that thought, I swear you’ll easily get over that dreadful feeling you have when you see tkk interact and you’re anticipating the cult’s reception of it.

[When I have energy, I’ll let out my precious thoughts on vmin’s relationship because that’s another thing. tl;dr is what they’re showing—or not showing—is also not a big deal for me.]

#jikook #taennie #taennie protector era cuz they cute #but very het #so jikook bros are still my fave

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phoenixwrites · 1 year

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Hey I'd love your thoughts because you're usually very level headed and make good points. I don't know how to go forward with enjoying Grace's online presence in the wake of this Faze disaster. While I fully agree with letting people make their mistakes this isn't just some bad tweets. This is an organization that covered up SA and have made no major changes to prevent it from happening again. They didn't even kick him out, just a measly "suspension". I want to believe that Grace is just a young woman trying to make her own way in a complicated world and that she honestly wants to do good. But this..... as a SA victim myself I think I'll have to unfollow and distance.

So the first thing I’d want to say, that as a victim of SA myself, that you should absolutely do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe and healthy. If this situation is triggering to you, then you should do what you can to distance yourself, unfollow, and take whatever measures you need to protect yourself and your mental boundaries. And you shouldn’t feel bad at all about that, because you are your first priority.

Now on Grace’s involvement with the organization—I think it’s completely valid to be upset with her or disappointed with her. Just don’t take it out on her. And I say this because I want us all to remember something. A year ago, Grace was a pretty much unknown actress. Then she had her role on Stranger Things, shared electric chemistry with Joe as the unforgettable Eddie, and pretty much overnight, had a huge fanbase of shippers and stans. Going from unknown to a large group of people putting you on a pedestal and wanting to know everything about you and how you played your character and if your character would end up with such and such—all of this is a really tricky transition to navigate. Particularly for a female actress who played opposite a fan favorite male character.

Grace had a really positive experience on set and didn’t just have a new fandom, she engaged with them. She posted her own Hellcheer thoughts, reblogged fanart, was enthusiastic about the pairing at cons and whatnot. But it became even trickier to manage, because suddenly she had a lot of people looking up to her, counting on her, idealizing her—while on the other side, a bunch of nasty misogynistic bitches just waiting to jump on her for the slightest mistake. Even without her fumbling, they still went after her and badly harassed her, to the point where she was physically in danger.

No matter what she did, she was going to disappoint someone. Grace strikes me as a little bit of a people-pleaser; she loves her fans, loves Hellcheer, wants everyone to be happy. But she’s also 27 and unlike most of us, she has a huge peanut gallery yelling at her every time she does anything.

Grace talked about how excited she was meeting with new people for new projects and how they were really open to her ideas. I have no doubt they were very charismatic towards her and talked a big game about how they were changing directions and she was going to spearhead the movement. In a small business room, away from the loud audience of the internet, it probably seemed like something good, something positive, that she could help navigate a shift away from misogyny in gamer culture.

But of course, when it was announced, everyone lost their minds. Suddenly it wasn’t a bunch of charismatic people in a business room, it was the entire internet, fans and antis, yelling, pleading, begging, screaming, all at once. Combined with everything else she’s had to deal with this year, that is bound to make you fuck up even more.

I don’t trust faze and I don’t think it was a good idea to align herself with them, even with the best intentions, but I am older than Grace and I don’t have a huge fanbase getting really loud (positively or negatively, it would still be overwhelming) every time I do something.

So I think the company manipulated her and that was their intention from the beginning, to have a convenient little scapegoat for people to focus in on and hate. And for this, I’m inclined to give her more grace towards the situation than I feel like a lot of people are giving her. Even when she said things that were out of turn—frankly, I kinda get it, on a much, much smaller scale. When you have a bunch of people deliberately misconstruing what you’re saying and creating blogs purely to harass and stalk you (it’s nice to have something in common with her), that is liable to make you SNAP and get nasty.

So I wish that we would cut her some slack, I guess, when it seems pretty clear to me that the company talked a big game, preyed on her idealism and hope for change, and then hung her out to dry.

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not-poignant · 1 year

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Wooooheeee merch!! Me is excited!!! Food for thought, maybe you could start a kickstarter campaign or something to cover publishing costs? I know they have a publishing category 🤔 I don't exactly know their policies so it's best to check further but I've definitely seen erotica books/art campaigns on there. Might be a good idea?

Hi anon,

I think this is a cool idea if you're a) American and b) can get to a post office, lol.

The thing is, I can't do anything that would involve me fulfilling orders from my house.

Firstly, there's simply too many books to cover (Game Theory would have to be broken down into 4 volumes, with the possibility of a 2-part release later on). I don't want to run complicated and stressful Kickstarter campaigns every 6 months forever. (Not to mention, frankly, that most Kickstarter campaigns fail to earn the amount they need, and I'm still figuring out how to make minimum wage via Patreon).

I do not have the spoons to think about dealing with the shipment costs (let alone the fact that I can't drive or catch public transport and therefore get to post offices) of extremely heavy, chunky books. But what I do know is that a lot of readers will be extremely put off by shipping costs easily in excess of $50-100 alone - not including the books or the tax on the books. Australia has one of the highest tax rates for books in the world, we have some of the must punitive shipping charges (some of your favourite Australian artists use drop shippers and this is why), etc. I used to ship small original pieces of art internationally, about half the size of a piece of paper, and extremely light-weight, and the *starting price* for shipping was around $30 USD. For heaver books it shoots up immediately.

For this reason, I actually have zero confidence in how this is actually going to work out without using a drop-shipper and distributor like IngramSpark. Mosk Kickstarters don't fulfill out of Australia wherever possible. And I have no intention of paying thousands of dollars to put books in my tiny cottage, only to realise I've shafted myself and all my international readers (which is...nearly all of you) by forcing everyone to pay an extra 10% GST on the book itself along with the extortionate postage prices for what will be, honestly, heavy books (postage is calculated by weight). Not to mention that I then can't get to a post office, and am completely dependent on other people to help me with that! And then on top of that, I don't believe many books will actually sell, so I'd prefer to use third party vendors wherever possible so I can be not miserable about it. When people can always read the ebooks for free, the only folks who are going to dish out money for paperbacks/hardbacks are going to be the really hardcore fans (I do not have a ton of these, though I love every one of them), or folks who hate ebooks.

Even if I had money at my disposal, I could never use a system like this (Kickstarter / paying for the mass printing of books), and almost no Australian author would, tbh.

On the other hand, aside from the book cover fees, I could technically list a book today on IngramSpark and my only fee would be the ISBNs.

And that's way less stressful than a Kickstarter. ;) And if I get booted for my content, that's just gonna be how it is. It possibly leaves Lulu as an option, but I'd prefer not to go that route mostly because it dumps more of the cost on you folks, and it also eats more profit margins for me.

The biggest issue is and has always been tbh the editing and the fact that chunks of Game Theory need to either be completely rewritten, or removed (the spanking chapter is incredibly OOC), and working out the covers because if the story has to be broken into multiple volumes, continuity in design is vital.

#asks and answers #pia on publishing #i cannot overstate just how punitive shipping costs are in australia when sending internationally #this has been the reason i haven't offered merch for over 7 years via Patreon #and if i do offer merch again it will have to be once every 6 months #and that will be for *extremely light-weight goods*#there's so many things people in the northern hemisphere are privileged to be able to do #especially folks in the USA #which is that you can generally access fast shipping #and generally affordable shipping #did you know in january of last year i couldn't get anything shipped to me from the US #for under $150 #it's better now x.x #but not by much

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rengokugutspill · 2 months

Text

Another obligatory preface to say the reason I'm not posting is because Tumblr makes it literally impossible for me to post, even on my Windows Eleven laptop, everything succumbs to the text post glitch where like after typing the seventh word the lag is so bad it can't keep up with my type speed, even when I am making sure to take my time & go slow, it starts to chug over nothing & then still take like forty five seconds to load in five words. Which I said before I had been typing everything into word documents & copy & pasting, but I can't do it on my tablet for whatever reason & Firefox takes ten minutes at a time to do anything. & if you were wondering about disk space, I'm not even close to having a full hard drive. But I do admit sometimes I have too many programs open, the problem still persists even if I close out all my other programs & windows beforehand.

I am just feeling very cantankerous over orders I've made this month. I feel like the past few months have been pretty good. I started ordering things from Aliexpress that I got a flight of fancy over, another sentiment tied to the one I've made reference to where I'm saying I have to still wait a minute to explain what I'm actually doing. Which of course I suppose makes it sound like I'm trying to commit a scam or something, but there's honestly just something I been waiting for & I was actually thinking when I finally received it would be a good time to make my whole autism post about the fascination itself. Because I have a lot to say on the subject, but I feel like I need this specific thing to properly convey my feelings lol

Anyway, Aliexpress introduced a new shipping method which at first I was really wary about because the initial reviews outside of Aliexpress teaming up with this shipping partner were really bad & abysmal, but so far, I've been having good experiences. They definitely do weird things like delivering shit at night or saying they will give you text updates & then not doing it. I like them because it's fast tracked so I'm sure it's two weeks, but I feel like I'm getting everything in a week & it's the fastest shit ever ! But obviously not everyone ships through them. & I noticed this weird thing through the Japanese proxy shipper where it seems like USPS prohibited the carry of plush items like stuffed animals or pillows ? For some reason when shipping these, responsibility gets passed over to DHL or Fedex for some reason ? Something similar is true with the Chinese goods, but like in reverse ? Where the fast tracked shipping won't cover plush items & instead they get the month long shipping & delivery through USPS.

Essentially I got spoiled by all this fast tracked shipping, that when my holy grail item finally shipped, it was shipped with a lower priority & it's making me fucking insane. It was a preorder, so I already had to wait like two or three months for it to ship, but then it shipped on the ninth & what's driving me insane is since the twelfth my shipping just got really jacked up ? I received a week of no updates, which is fine because it was export customs & I know customs can take a week or longer, but as soon as the eighteenth hit, now I keep getting the same message every few days ? Which is departed from export sorting centre. I've received that message like three times now since the twelfth. Aliexpress has a message on the item's tracking warning customs clearance can take over a week, but by now it's been marked as at the export customs for over two weeks. & I do know that it's not bad & I'm just being dramatic because I've been starving for this item to arrive for months now. It just feels especially obnoxious by contrast with the items that shipped super quickly. I got spoiled & now it's making me neurotic honestly.

& I think the repeated updates are basically just saying it hasn't moved but it's not lost & I just feel like damn, why hasn't it moved ? What are you doing with it ? But I got excited because it had a different status on the eighteenth, but then it's reverted back to the status I keep getting ?? & I did look it up & read that shit can get stuck in customs for like twenty days & I just really feel like wow wtf is happening ? Like, I'm so mad. It's making me insane. I'm like checking multiple times a day because I want it so bad & I'm like omg will you just move ??

I think it's effected me outside of this though where then it's making me think everything else is taking a really long time when it's not. I guess because I keep checking this one package status, it's like since I'm already there, I'm checking the others too. So I end up checking everything like seven times a day & can't figure out why it hasn't move because it's been seven days (because I checked seven times) when in reality it's been like two days since the last update. I'm just so annoyed. Annoyed at the time it's taking & annoyed with myself for getting neurotic & worked up over it.

But I admit I'm also annoyed that I still haven't received any of my pre orders from studio for months. I was feeling high hopes because I started seeing Valentine's items listing in an extremely slow trickle. I was thinking people must be getting their Valentine's orders & if they're fulfilling in Japan, they should hopefully be fulfilling soon out here. But there's still nothing yet. :\

I also got forced to split my last proxy order in such a bullshit way. Basically there was a website glitch that accidentally caused me to ship an entire order minus one item. & what actually happened was the item showed up as arrived on my orders page, but I don't think it actually showed up on my consolidations page ? So I accidentally left an item behind but then really didn't have any interest in buying any more import items atm but had to figure out wtf I was going to ship this with because it was just a five dollar stationary set, it would have been stupid to ship it for thirty dollars by itself. I ended up ordering two dolls to ship with it & the seller had an away message on their store but if they had shipped the day after the away message said they came back, the items would have fulfilled with that order, but instead they waited like two weeks after returning from away to ship, so I still had to fill out the order in a mad bullshit way. I made the shipping worthwhile, but then I went to EMS shipping but it wasn't listed for some reason ? ECMS was & because the price was cheaper, I chose them, & really thinking because EMS wasn't listed that it had just switched over titles ? But I'm having basically the exact same issue with the Aliexpress order where it says exported like a week ago with zero updates since ?

& I did look it up just now & people were saying EMS & ECMS are the same thing, but I disagree. On the proxy shipper website, EMS is usually either Fedex or DHL & both tend to bring me my packages in about four days from the shipment date. I'm just feeling really annoyed. Idk if there is like a mass delay reasoning idk about ? I think I saw there was a storm coming, but not for a week ? & since we aren't currently in a storm, I can't really figure out what the delay is ? Waiting for enough items for an export flight to be relevant ? Why are other things moving ?

Aside from this, I was again thinking about the Rengoku omake & his dynamic with Mitsuri. I'd said before something I found incredibly important about Demon Slayer is the set ups & open pieces. Not only does it create room for expansion, but I think it was always the intended purpose to give the audience things to think about & avenues to explore.

I'd said before I personally didn't really understand why Mitsuri chose Obanai over Rengoku if her whole reasoning for joining the corps in the first place was to find a husband ? Especially because I'd had the theory based on the supplemental material in the official fan book that maybe it was possible there was no confirmation or rejection Rengoku would have passively considered marrying Mitsuri ? Because I still think he's read like the other hashira, that they aren't out here having deeply romantic lives or really doing much outside of hashira tasks. It also seems like if you married someone in the same line of work as you, you would both be on the same page about everything. But I'd said before I was looking at it from the context of the era, that Mitsuri likely would have had to've been married to someone or else she realistically wouldn't be allowed to own anything. To have their relationship encompassed by lines of basically saying they both love eachother, even if it is only platonic love, I don't think it's that unbelievable to think he would consider marrying her especially if it meant putting her in a safe environment...

What I started to think about is why were they actually together in the first place ? Considering all of this information is only supplemental material published after the original series run, there's really no information about it aside from Mitsuri was Rengoku's tsuguko & learned love breathing as an offshoot of flame breathing. We know she joined corps looking for a husband. I feel a little excitable about it because like oooh, where did they meet ? Who idea was it ?? Why are they together & how long have they been together ??

ngl it would actually be cute as fuck if he's just been with Mitsuri since final selection or something. Especially because Tanjiro was made to team up with Zenitsu indefinitely from early on, which you kinda see the sentiment get mirrored with Tomioka & Shinobu in their backstory comic. It makes a lot or sense teams would be formed to cultivate a livelihood of slayers by having them work together, but also I feel like it makes the act of making hashira easier if you're consistently working as a team with someone...

It's also interesting to think about paired with the also up in the air backstory around Obanai; that said Rengoku's dad rescued him & through Shinjuro he became a Demon Slayer. Because some people like to imagine it would have created a closeness with Rengoku & Obanai, which would kind of make sense why Obanai is consistently shown as feeling so positively towards Rengoku. Some people liked to imagine Obanai was temporarily adopted into the Rengoku household or otherwise trained by Shinjuro or Rengoku. & I don't feel either way about this. If that was revealed to be true, I would be happy, but if it was revealed to be false, I would still be happy.

It would be interesting if Rengoku did train somewhat consistently or on & off with Obanai, basically growing up with him as a good friend or like a cousin, because that would also make an opening that the three of them could have consistently been together, & I do think that's a cute idea tbh

Then the romantic connotation seems less like an outward rivalry but more like the Star Crossed Lovers story arc in Legend Of Mana where it was said Matilda treated Irwin & Escad exactly the same but just kinda ended up choosing Irwin in the end. Doujinshi writers would love that tbh because it would make both romances/ pairings true.

I get silly about it because I can't help but like the love triangle dynamic lol xP

After the fact, we get the secondary information by a different author stating Mitsuri's haori is a gift from Rengoku & this story shows her training at Rengoku family household, which I find interesting because I thought the anime stated Rengoku did not live with his family so it's weird to think about why they were doing things there ?

Especially because I understand his father being abusive is also very open ended. Like, we know he kept telling Rengoku he couldn't become hashira & he wasn't strong & we also can see him throwing shit at his kids or showing with Senjuro he has no issue hitting his small son in the face.. & I feel like Senjuro reacts to being hit, but I don't really feel like it's a “my father hit me ??” reaction but moreso just reacting to being hit.

& I said before, even when people wonder about the extent of this relationship, I don't really know that it would get expanded upon because when you really think about it critically, does the extent of the abuse actually matter ? Is it critical to the story or character ? No, not really. The only other thing I was thinking of is how much more tragic it would really be if his father were physically abusive because that's a hashira full on hitting a little kid, like, for sure he would be breaking his sons' bones.

I am just saying that it feels like a plot hole in the second backstory comic to have Rengoku training Mitsuri at the family home rather than his own house because wouldn't his dad not want people there ? But I'd also posited if it's true Rengoku lived in Tokyo, it's possible he just had a small house or apartment. Which I can't help but find cute on it's own.

The fanfare for Mugen Train included the three part radio drama, or whatever you call it, that framed the entire thing as Rengoku consistently worked with Mitsuri & she was by his side up until boarding the train.

I'm also curious because I understand studio exhibits at the same conventions as doujinshi authors. I'd posited the possibility representatives survey the area to better understand how characters are appealing to their fans. It seems a bit invasive at first, but overall I think it's incredibly beneficial. I realize the ship could have existed earlier & then was something that got taken & ran with more officially, perhaps in a way to pay homage to those fans. True or not, I like that idea because I find it very respectable to run with that specific wholesome idea of Rengoku rather than the people pairing him with characters that don't make any sense & really reflect on him by making him look more monster than man.

Of course my perspective is warpped anyway, I'm definitely one of the people who gets extremely excited seeing him marketed with Mitsuri. I also can't help but wonder if marketing with Misturi actually sees a higher profit than marketing him with any other character ?

What I mean to say is, if you're catering to fans, you have to figure out who your fans are & what they want to see. Considering Rengoku's merchandise consistently costs more than other characters posits he's in greater demand, but it also shows to some extent people are willing to spend more money on him. So if you're looking at it like you're catering to women similar to those of the kpop boy fans & contrasting this with romance doujinshi being written about him, versus the type of women who are buying it.. to some extent it's women with money. Especially because by this point I had believed Rengoku was an overall popular character, I'd pictured dudes who like anime would also be buying his figures, but I've actually noticed after the fact I am mostly buying used Rengoku figures from mostly women.

I'm even more curious about this after the release of the omake set.

Hearkening back to Gotouge's previous sentiment of not being done with the Demon Slayer characters, but done with the franchise, pairing with the fact they said they were considering a romantic comedy. It would be fun to see the characters in a romantic comedy; Rengoku & Obanai attempt to win over Mitsuri.

& for drawing I've currently just finished a faces in semi profile & varying perspectives from semi birds eye to normal to semi worms eye. This is traces based on real reference (original comic & anime), but I think I should attempt to redo each one reference only. The pallet actually serves as a more cohesive reference for me going forward to quickly pull up to give me an idea of how his face should look in any perspective rather than searching around for a specific image to match what I'm trying to convey.

On top of this I am trying to do quick, simplified drawings & I still want to finish my chibi fashion pallet. I'd also got a bunch of various asset brushes, so I am thinking really hard about stylized backgrounds/ landscapes.

I haven't been very happy about learning to draw in a more loose simplicity outside of striving for perfection. It's extremely difficult for me. I get really mad at myself.

The traces are fun & although I am learning, it doesn't matter if I'm not actually attempting to utilize what I've learned. My greatest challenge is really never having any ideas. My best bet now I guess is just doing short form domestic comics because I have no other thoughts. What makes this difficult is what is domestic but like folding laundry or making dinner, & both of those actions are a little bit outside of my wheelhouse still. :\

On what feels like a very rare occasion I will get an idea I can see in my minds eye & I do immediately pursue the sketch & I find when I do this, I'd say I'm pretty much always very happy with the outcome. It's just I don't really get ideas.

It's frustrating to see someone & be like I want to draw you but then be like idk what you do. I think it's an overarching issue with character art. You got your character standing in the blue sky field, character sitting in the rain, character hold sword, training... haha, then what ?

Especially because when you're adamant about staying true to the character, you have to be like “would this character do that ?” Like how I mentioned before with having the natural affinity for drawing women pin ups, I can't do that with him because he wouldn't do that. We get decent hints from his official artwork of ways his body would move & what would be natural for him. I know there is a freedom to imagine, but also it becomes difficult to imagine when you yourself don't really experience anything :\

I get a bit annoyed because since I can't use Tumblr, I am on Facebook looking at the drawing groups & it's annoying in the first place groups have to be privated at all, but it's like, if it's a private group then I have no fucking idea what they're even doing in there so why would I ask to join ? I see occasional process discussions, but nothing that I really find helpful for me. There are so many costuming prompts when it comes to drawing, or like, aesthetic prompts, but honestly I feel like I need more action or pose prompts... even still, it's like porn with me. It feels like there's only so many things you can do before you've seen it all lmao

I feel like I'm doing some personal brainteaser to think there are all these aspects to being human I hadn't thought of before that I have to figure out. & maybe it is true to some degree ? When you think about conveyance, you can draw this pose ten times & it will always be the same pose with nothing new or exciting, but you can change the perspective the pose is viewed by, you can change the expression of the character in the pose.

I'd seen an artist at one point who put a lot of study into drawing very animated & expressive faces & I agree with this ! I think conveying a very emotive face in a piece is very compelling !

Either the brainteaser isn't in the posing but conveyance of other aspects, or the brainteaser is holding myself to this imaginary standard of perfection that is unattainable. Held over my head to scare myself & say I could never accomplish this, yet when I try to see it clearly with my minds eye, there is nothing there because whatever I imagined is merely a concept that I don't actually think exists.

Perhaps it like gimmick in art ? Like how I appreciate people who make busy pieces with a lot of abstract details. Maybe the problem wasn't the pose or a lack of idea, but instead fabricating an interest in nothing ? I will try to think about it more.

I keep saying I need to work on portraits & then I never do. I been saying the same about landscapes, but I admit to getting a bit more excited now.

I don't know that I said this before but I think part of my issue is I wanted a small sketchbook to force me to draw smaller. My reasoning for this is to draw smaller will force me to cut out details & focus on shapes. I am struggling with reeling back my execution, it's like I draw in this one very specific size lol

Then the problem became I have this small sketchbook, but the only way to get the small sketchbook was to settle for long length (vertical) with a short width. The binding is glue in so you don't really have the freedom to have at the page however you want or with ease, instead it feels like I'm constantly fighting with it, can't get comfortable & am constantly worried I'm going to snap the binding & explode the whole sketchbook. I was thinking then I would need to get a square ringed binding. I am telling myself this will help me if I have an easy space to work on. I believe myself, but I can't help but be nervous that I'm also just deflecting lol

Though I know it also helps to like the paper you're working on as well as your marking tool. I know I have to put a lot of focus on making drawing fun for me. I'd considering doing random women character art as a break because there is no pressure when doing that. There is no perfection because all of it means nothing to me. Plus the last time I did it, I got so mad & annoyed because I just wanted to be drawing Rengoku, it would be really funny if it did the exact same again lmao

I guess also I wanted to mention that I was feeling a bit bothered because since I can't use Tumblr anymore, I get stuck doomscrolling on Facebook, & it's like, I don't even want to ? But I feel like I have nothing else to do when I'm smoking a cigarette. I feel like I have no other nothing action to pursue as a de-stress between like listing or chores or whatever. There's no null action.

But they did this thing where idk if it's mostly a problem with myself & my roommate because we don't have Facebook friends, but like, I'm only part of like maybe four groups at most on Facebook since as I kind of touched above, I don't understand them, & I feel like by contrast to Tumblr, no one on Facebook can really consistently relate to me or show me things I actually care about seeing. My feed gets bogged the fuck down with reels, group posts & just like people posts that are all made by groups or people I don't follow & am not friends with ? & it pisses me off because this is not what I'm on Facebook for.

I'd seen discussions lately in regards to the human need to find community on social media since our physical ability to participate in social community has been stunted. I find more & more that yeah, maybe I would want to participate in a real world social community, but it's like, what would that be ? Anime night at the bar ? I don't drink. Video game day at the mall ? We aren't oriented to be physically social anymore. Yet when I look very hard at this, I do hate people. I genuinely do not feel like I can relate with people. It's to say that I have a caring heart, I believe I can be a loyal & loving friend, but I feel that I genuinely see most people as just bots & I can't relate with them. I can listen & care with my heart, but I can't help but feel like Patrick Bateman like “we have nothing in common.”

But when I put it that way, it sounds like a sickness. I obviously understand you can care deeply & be friends with people you have nothing in common with. I feel like I look at people & they have rocks for brains. I would attest the problem may be with my perception, but I still think there would be something roiling in me to be like I hate talking to people so much. It's probably a defeatist sentiment. But I don't get that bent out of shape because there is no social circle anyway.

I am just saying to find community on the internet is null to me. I can come & say things in a place where I feel like no one is looking & that's okay, but Julia had mentioned there's widespread usage of bots on the internet that do not encapsulate what real people are actually like. I'm on the fence. I see bots in public. I see people having dumb, null opinions online. There's nothing to say.

Much like I open my mouth in public & nothing comes out but for maybe the smallest, most awkward squeak, I start typing a sentiment for a comment & I can't post it. I feel like when I look at myself, nothing I say makes any sense & nothing is worthwhile.

This is all actually to say Facebook suggested some asexual meme group at me & I was curious so I looked but I was disappointed to be met by no relatable memes but instead just post after post of paraphrasing of “anyone ever just not think people are attractive ?” & I'm like, where's the meme ? I came here to laugh & feel relatable !!

Which I'm not against a “meme” page having conversations about personal problems & how it pertains to the community as a whole or people looking for support for psychological or mental turmoil.. Nothing was relatable though. I am asexual, it's undeniable, it's just no one in the group expressed feeling similar to how I feel. I think I felt like one of us is an imposter & I know it's not me lmao

I just think my thoughts are more vast, considered & understood personally than others. I think people can outwardly say “I don't find people attractive.” & that's it. I guess I want to hear some manner of challenging your opinions; to hear people say “I don't find people attractive & here's why.” But I don't think people think any deeper than not finding people attractive. But also, I love psychology, so maybe it's actually wrong & invasive of me to want to see public psychological exploration like that ? :\

Like, I have the cool one where I do experience sexual thoughts & interests but I just don't like people. I don't think there is a possibility to have a sexual experience I would enjoy because I'm not comfortable having sex with strangers & I think when it gets down to it, even if someone could completely read my mind & do everything I said exactly how I said it, I would still hate it because I hate the sensations, sounds & smells. & I do think it's sad. I get a little bothered to have ideas in my head that something should be enjoyable but it just never is. & I really don't feel like it's a mismatched partner event either, I feel like by this point if I started dating the hottest & most respectful person tomorrow, I'd still likely not enjoy anything.

It likely comes from sexual abuse, but then my position is I guess you talk about it & move slowly & maybe you will change your mind, but is there a necessity in changing your stance ? Does the stance ever change if autism already have you hating noises, smells & feelings ? If everything is slimy now, it will be slimy no matter what.

Maybe people can't be as candid & honest with themselves as I can & then perhaps I get irritated to be met by people who have no desire for personal investigation to better understand themselves or their own feelings ? It's lazy.

No memes on the meme page & not even any good or meaningful discussions lol

I do admit though that when I really look at my situation critically, I am really happy deep down.

I had seen a video the other day that was meant to be satire that really bothered me. I am sure you know where I am going with this by now. It was apparently some prank bro bringing his TV screen girlfriend to the mall & word he was being cringecore because it was a prank video (& I wasn't listening to the volume so maybe it was immeasurably worse) but I was really appalled by how many comments disparaged the dude ? Like no, I'm not going to bring a cardboard cut out of an anime character to the mall with me tbh but I just don't get the ire associated with not wanting to pursue a relationship with a real person ? What are the other people even mad about ? It feels like the robot husband all over again & how so many women were pissed a woman married a robot... I feel like damn, why does it matter ? Who is it hurting ? I said before I felt like the women were only mad because they realized they had options & accidentally saddled up with some man they hated & got tricked into having multiple kids they hate. I stand by this. I think people get so mad to see other options outside of human pairing exists & that people don't actually have to be in romantic or sexual relationships with eachother.

I was especially confused in this scenario because the actor was meant to look like a creep & I'm saying actually shouldn't you be applauding him for not bothering women ?? Like, I honestly don't understand what any womens problem is with an incel neckbeard dating a laptop because jfc he is leaving the real women alone ?? He isn't out here raping or stalking women, he's deadass minding his own business & not bothering anyone ?? Why are you mad ?? What is he doing wrong ?? Like, look at what message you're sending by being outraged by that. It's deadass like saying no I think the neckbeard incel should be harassing & harming women. I don't even feel like I'm being that dramatic to get that takeaway either. Like, wtf do you even want ??

But again, much like with the woman who married the robot, a lot of men seemed to find the situation to be pretty agreeable & commendable. They were like, Hell yeah, dude is living the dream.

Of course I think this is a great societal commentary, that's not necessarily my point.

I don't think there is anything to really feel bad about. I felt forlorn in my loneliness & I did want a partner. Eventually I came to terms that I was being ungrateful because I do have a perfect partner & it's ridiculous of me to reject such a situation & peacefulness. My situation & partner are perfect because they don't have a deep physical existence. They can't hurt me, but also they can continue to be perfect without disappointment because nothing is real. I don't mind if it sounds bizarre or cringecore, but I am very happy to be in this position. He may not be a real person, but he is real to me. I can think hard & imagine how it would feel to be embraced in a time of immense woe. I can fabricate years of a story of a life together. What makes a person real ? Detraction doesn't really matter, not that I personally face it anyway. It's not lost on me the difference between being married to an AI as opposed to being married to an anime character, nor the allowances between male & female. Though I admit I was reading a seller's reviews on Aliexpress who happened to also sell body pillows & I read one broad review of the seller that was clearly in regards to a body pillow that mentioned how they immediately blew a load on her chest & I'm saying at least I'm not saying or doing that. At least whatever a women is doing with a body pillow won't encompass those guys who keep blowing loads in plush toys & refusing to wash them for like ten years or a pony jar.

Though I do admit personally that I don't actually see many women exhibiting dakimakura. Yet any women I'd seen mention one that they didn't clearly have as pandering to male gaze or for attention, I've always respected a women confident about what she wants in life & living her truth.

Lastly, I did make good money recently on many sales. I ended up in a short period without sales & got a little nervous about how long the lull would last, but I made good money again in short order but now I'm also kinda distressed because I am going to have to go to the post office & I wanted to do it today but my stomach was a little too upset & I am just full of immense dread to do it later in the week because all summer has been hellfire heatwave but of course today was the coolest day for the next week. I'm pissed at myself honestly.

I'm also really uncomfortable because I cannot elaborate at this moment in time because it has to do with my silly covert autism I keep teasing but I went to order this thing I had been looking for, just say it's trading cards for now. I order this card the seller claims they had in stock & I'd bought from this seller multiple times now & I would say I really like them because I happened to be looking for a specific card I had seen two other people selling for a ridiculous price. I'd asked a few sellers on Aliexpress selling cards from the same series if they had the one I was looking for & the first two were like no, I don't know anything about it, but the third I asked was this seller who had worse English but they ended up pulling multiple other cards I hadn't seen before that no one else had. So I been buying from them. & they're actually the seller I'm having the shipping issue with right now.

This card in particular I'm trying to get I know has been in distribution before, I have seen instances of other people having it from a few years ago. It seems like certain cards get additional manufacture runs. Basically, I've been so autistic about these, I scour the internet for any information about them & have been able to find a few platforms that seem to tease manufacture of certain line ups months in advance. So although I knew this one had already been distributed, I knew it would be getting another distribution soon.

I happened to see this seller post it & I bought it immediately since I been hunting for it. An interesting thing I noticed about the last two I bought from them is they had them in stock which is uncommon in this market. The first one I bought went unavailable altogether after I bought it & then second one I bought from them is still showing online but that I can't interact with it, so I think it was set to limited sale/ stock. I started wondering if they were actually just buying local resale, so when they would list, there would only be one in stock ? & I am actually really subscribing to this theory moreso now.

I received the other items I bought from them & I've actually been super thrilled about them as a whole because just like with Japanese resellers, they're trying to make the sale, but it is really advantageous when someone is looking for specific items that cater to you. It's a great relationship.

They ended up reaching out to me saying they did not have the item & of course I was really upset & crestfallen & wanted to cry because it's like there's about two more I'm aware of existing that I'm looking for for my collection so I really thought that for now I had my collection completed (because the other is so rare, it probably won't ever run again).

They asked me if I'd be willing to switch with another card which honestly added insult to injury because I had just bought that exact card from a different seller for like double the price. I rejected & they offered a different one that I also already had. But then I realized this might be a good opportunity to ask for the others I was looking for. There's the one I really want that I don't think will see another distribution, but then there's one that I have also seen available elsewhere that I care a bit less about but I was still planning to get, just not with the ferocity I've been acting with these other ones.

They said they're going to look. It's a frustrating situation because obviously I didn't get the one that I wanted that I paid for but it could potentially be very advantageous because if I'm right that they're actually looking at local resale, this might be the only possible way for me to get the one that was discontinued. I'm also not sold they don't actually have the one I want either. I swore I've seen this elsewhere, not with this seller, where people will post a listing for something & then say they don't have it & try to get you to switch your order, but if you refuse all of a sudden they mysteriously have the item they claimed they didn't have. & I do think it's a possibility because if they have to cancel the order or don't fulfill the order then I do think they face some kind of penalty. It's just frustrating though because they have about twenty days to figure out what they're doing & what makes it annoying is someone else is selling it for double the price & I would just get it from them because I have the money, but it's possible I might still get it from this seller.

I'm not completely irritated because it would be a dream come true if they got the discontinued one, but it's also possible they might end up pulling one I haven't seen before that I could want. But I've also seen someone else who closely follows them post a somewhat updated collection & they have none in their collection I'm interested in besides the ones I'm already keeping track of. Though I can't help but wish that regardless such an event could cause a reproduction of the discontinued one..

I'd also wondered if it was possible they were just using it as an opportunity to figure out what else I'm looking for, which if that were the case, it would still be advantageous, because maybe they will at least continue to keep their eye out for these for me. It would be funny to have this person sending me pictures of rare Rengokus like “is he cute ??”

Another thing I was trying to express about how much I dislike Facebook though is that they are so hellbent on forcing community but the algorithm they run on seems to be assuming you would be interested in pages your friends interact with. The main issue being that a lot of people who friend request me are not my irl friends & are just strangers who probably thought I looked interesting. This results in having some of the stupidest & most retarded meme pages I've ever seen constantly suggested to me. & it pisses me off because you can't make it stop, you can't opt out of being shown garbage. I also get a metric ton of horror movie pages & goth aesthetics & it pisses me off because I hate both of those. It makes me feel like my interests are far too niche for anyone to possibly understand, which is alienating because first of all, I could find well tailored interests on Tumblr, but also it's like I'm here to communicate with my family, friends & hot women online that I orbit, so it ends up completely defeating the purpose of me being on Facebook at all.

& I did think it was because I had about a hundred friends & only followed a couple groups, I assumed Facebook was just trying to fill dead air, but it actually makes it impossible for me to see the posts of people I actually want to interact with. Especially because some of the groups I'm in are actually really active, I just never see any of the posts behind all the garbage being forced on me. It results me in blocking tons of people & pages indiscriminately every single time I open the app.

Through this, I have been shown a multitude of anime pages as well as some Demon Slayer pages & my whole thing is I am happy to be a fan of Demon Slayer, there are contributors I feel positively for & hold in high regard, but I feel like the masses of garbage anime fans ruin it because people just be saying dumb & redundant shit that make me pissed off & feel like I lose brain cells to be around. Like, I won't lie that I would get weirdly possessive over Rengoku even though he is just a character. It's easier to share him with people who contribute to him as an anime character because I just get weird & catty to see people who love Rengoku but do nothing but make dumb comments on pictures of him like “mine” or dumb shit like that. Like idk, we can all love him without making it a pissing contest but I feel like how is he remotely yours if you've done nothing to contribute to his character ? By which I mean contributing to making reasonable art of him, sharing official scans or writing fan fiction I guess that doesn't betray intended character. But I also get with any anime, it's going to be teenage fans being wholly unlikable & redundant. It just kind of reinforces that I don't like people as a whole & find concepts of community to be overwhelmingly obnoxious...

*Another note on why I'm getting so distraught about tracking rn is both the Aliexpress & Japanese package have ETAs on parcelapp, which I know realistically means nothing, but it usually is right. So I'm getting agitated because parcelapp is saying I will get both packages before the end of the month & I just don't think that's remotely true because neither have scanned in USA yet :\

*footnote in regards to drawing is I am still struggling with his eye shape & nose shape. I understand the shape of his eye, but I haven't yet figured out a short cut for it. Plus I notice the way it's drawn in the comic is more accurate to how I draw eyes anyway, I'm personally choosing the anime version as my chosen representation.

I'm also having the worst trouble with the chibi fashion studies because since the base is traced with me redrawing the clothes on the body & then doing the hair & face myself, I'm having this issue where I just cannot align the face properly to the head frame & it making me so fucking mad.

I'm also still struggling with the shapes for jaw to chin & I'm not really sure what to do because if I completely abandon model & perfection, my personal style shorthand might be easier, I'm just not sure how it will convey, so I guess I'm kind of waiting to see what my hand will consistently come up with before I decide how important it will actually be going forward....

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