#in order to avoid a total mental shut down

[lexluvswriting]

✎ God of Stories!Loki Laufeyson & Gen-Z reader!

☆ SFW drabbles- first meeting! ☆

-> Content Warning + Notes: loki is god of stories in this!! gender neutral, non-specified identity reader, fluff, slight flirting? kinda. i love him sm (T-T)

-> TW: none.

W/C: 1.4k

╰┈➤ Lex's note: AHH, here's the post, oh god. based off of THIS ASK !!! i'd like to preface by saying yes, this will be a bit ooc for him. This is MCU, Loki Series!Loki, who is the God of Stories! I'd like to hope that he still stays mischevious still, so I tried to keep a bit of both personalities!! Also added some backstory for context !!

Uni was hard. Your lectures were hitting that stage where content was 'less fun' and more soul-suckingly 'boring'. Your latest assignment had thrown a spanner in the works of your mental sanity, and you were a few more minor inconveniences away from committing some sort of crime.

Kidding. Kinda.

What you hadn't expected was to be blitzed into some sort of gap in space and time after your friend begged you to come assist them with some help on their Physics experiment. "Science is fun", they said. "Helping your friends is the kind thing to do", they said.

Not when their janky little machine blasts you into a pocket that seemed to avoid space and time completely.

The Avengers had solved everything. Thanos was dead, the snap was unsnapped, this shouldn't be happening anymore... right? You were terrified, clutching your bag like a safety blanket as you stood on some invisible force, watching the space around you seem to shift between an endless loop of different colours and morph- the glittery mass swirling like liquid stars- or like a bad trip.

"What the fuck..." You whisper, prepared to scream, cry, throw up or lie down and die. Probably all in some order.

"You, there. How did you find this place?"

A voice that seemed to come from all corners of wherever you were, and also nowhere at once, sounded out. You flinched, whipping around again to find a strange handsome man sitting on some strange tree-like throne, wielding greenish vines that seemed to appear around you, branching out everywhere and whatnot.

"Are you speaking to... me?" You point feebly at yourself, amazed you're still conscious at this point.

"No, I'm referring to the nothingness of space and time. Yes, I mean you, mortal. Who are you, and how did you enter this place?"

His green eyes bore into yours, and bile rose in your throat. His tone made you falter, like a deer in headlights as your brain conveniently decided to shut down and restart. He couldn't be real. Why was he here?

"Oh my God... you're-" Your revelation seemed to amuse him as his eyes crinkled knowingly, the corners of his lips twitching up.

"Yes, little one. Loki, formerly the God of Mischief and Prince of Asgard. Now, I appear before you as the God of Stories."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

꩜ Telling him about your world! :

After you both get over the fact that you both are coexisting somehow- Loki is still partially convinced you're part of something called the T.V.A or whatever- you end up sitting down on one of the roots of the tree, blinking up at him like he was some immaculate, divine figure. He so totally is. You figure the best thing to do is wait for your friend to undo what they did, so you end up telling him about your world. He's familiar with Thanos, and the timeline of his so called 'death'. He asks about his brother, and you watch him with a deep sympathy that feels almost useless. It's quiet for a long time, before you offer to show him a picture.

"Would wi-fi even work here?"

"Doesn't your device contain it already?"

You blink up at him, supressing a pained sigh.

"... Are you kidding, or... ?"

He, with a dry hum of amusement, nods for you to unlock your phone, and strangely enough it works. You want to ask how? but his look tells you that it would probably hurt your brain. So you relent, and show him pictures of his brother most recently from social media news pages.

"Everyone is kinda... gone now. I mean- ever since Ironman..." You trailed off, and he nodded, his gaze softening slightly as he beheld his brother. You felt almost awkward, wanting to give him a moment to process this before-

"He looks fat."

"Jesus-"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

♫ Telling Loki about music, and educating him on artists:

You take it upon yourself to show this man music, after you had shown him the internet of your world, catching him up to date with all the important news and such. You made it a very good point not to scroll too far down in case he noticed something titled 'HEADCANNONS, DRABBLES AND WET DREAMS I HAVE ABOUT THE SEXY, MISCHEVIOUS LOKI LAUFEYSON-', instead questioning him on his music and artist knowledge. Sylvie had introduced him to what you both recognised as 70's and 80's hits, and you sent a silent thanks to whoever 'Sylvie' was. But you decided to catch him up on some of your personal faves- Mitski- neither of you spoke for a bit after he accidentally pressed 'Class of 2013', Mac De Marco, Lana and most importantly:

"Laufey. She's Icelandic and Chinese- and it's pronounced LAY-VAY. Like, Laufey. I just thought it was funny, cause... Loki Laufeyson, and Lau-"

He's already ogling you like a three eyed, two head sprouting, bat-winged monstrosity, but as soon as he hears the name, he shakes his head with an irritated grunt,

"There is no relation, nor will there ever be a relation. I am the God of Stories. I hold multiversal timelines between my fingers- I am seated at the throne of destiny. And you're asking me about some mortal like I'm supposed to... care?"

"Um. Okay." You smacked your lips together, cocking your head to the side with a hand on your chest as you search internally to find the words for a response without losing your life to a multiversal deity.

"So... I don't like that tone, first of all. Second of all, I just want you to listen- Just listen to her-"

Don't you notice how

I get quiet when there's no one else around?

Me and you, an awkward silence.

Don't you dare look at me that way-

You fed him her melodic song, your eyebrows raised in disbelief that he would be so dismissive after you brought out the big guns, and he listened to it, feeling oddly stimulated from this entire encounter. He was handsome, of course. But more handsome when he was quiet, when you could see his brain shifting and while you could see the way his eyes flit around in microscopic shifts, processing the sounds as they progressed.

Soon it finished, and he watched you, glancing down at the small phone, before glancing at you again, trying to find a response that didn't make him seem like some desperate lonely hermit.

"She isn't bad, for a Laufey anyway."

"Dude-"

"God."

"God-"

...

"How would I obtain this to have? Just... playing idly."

The smile that split your face was almost creepy with how wide it was, and he had to squint, looking away from the radiance and delight you emit.

"She's got more if you wanna listen."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

✮ Showing Loki diverse ways to compliment each other! aka. sending him into cardiac arrest: (one suggestive line!)

People die, and habits die harder. But nothing could remove the pride and preening personality this God has. He wasn't an idiot. He had noticed some of the 'links' and images and strange looking messages regarding his name and face that were almost cleverly hidden on the page you showed him, and he relaxed knowing that people still worshipped him in other timelines. As they should. But nothing could prepare him for his first edit.

"What does that say- No, no don't show me, I just want to make sure you understand what that means."

Have you ever wanted to make a God go absolutely insane because of you? Well you'd be in luck. The wrinkle that creased his smooth forehead was not small by any means, neither is something else he carries, and he had to take a moment to process what he had just heard you say.

"It's a term of- it's a phrase of... endearment!"

"'We're going at it until Ragnarok happens?'" He echoed, voice almost hitching as he tried to maintain control of his facial expressions. How much time had passed? A few seconds? A few days? He was starting to wonder how much more of you he could take. We'll get into that again, later.

"'Till I remember the veins and twitch patterns?!'"

"Okay well, you didn't need to read that one-"

He scanned the comments again, the screen hurting his eyes- and his heart, but he did it anyway. Deep, deep down- in a small, lonely part that wished he wasn't stuck on a throne of Yggdrasil, he felt something of amusement. A peacock showing off his feathers.

A small, impish smiled curled on his lips as he sat back in his throne, exhaling slowly, thinking. Calculating. Watching the way your eyes greedily absorbed the sparse clips of him in New York and Germany.

"So... one billion people enjoy me saying 'kneel'?"

"Oh, don't start-"

"I'm simply thinking, mortal. Don't fret your pretty little head over it."

...

"You think it's pretty?"

╰┈➤ Lex's note 2: @jaguarthecat i finally published. i kept coming back to your ask, and i realised i might as well put something out there cause like, might randomly die tomorrow so why shy from it.

[snootlestheangel]

Break For Your Heart P2

Cast Aside

taglist: @stuffireadandenjoy

For once, Simon wanted it to rain. He wanted the day to be covered by clouds and a light mist. Something depressing to match his mood. Yet the sky was sunny, bright and cloudless. A rarity for England, and for once Simon hated it.

It was the day Simon was sent to prison.

He never believed himself totally innocent. He was the one that led Gary on the hike. He was the one that led his guard down with the stranger. He was the one that watched and did nothing as that wicked man tortured his friend. He was the one that saved himself.

He was the one that abandoned his friend.

"Are you fucking listening?" A guard snapped, and the harsh tone of his voice dragged Simon out of his thoughts. Almost sheepishly, Simon shook his head, and the guard glared at him.

"I said to change and then head through those doors." The guard grumbled as he gestured vaguely to the pile of clothes Simon was supposed to change into. He did, rather quickly in order to avoid pissing the guard off further. That, and he felt rather exposed, having to change in a hallway surrounded by people.

He was led down another hallway, through several security gates, and another set of massive doors before they even came close to the cell block where he had been cursed to stay. As they entered the cell block, they passed a couple of people, one of whom was an older man with a calculating gaze. He watched Simon pass from under an old fishing hat, but Simon had lost the will to be curious, and instead let the man's gaze judge him as he passed.

The movies were wrong, Simon quickly learned. Here, no one jeered at him, no one shouted as he walked past all their closed cells. No, they all just watched him. Predatory and hungry, like vultures waiting for a fresh kill.

It disturbed him, how he knew they all believed he belonged.

"In." The guard leading him stopped towards the end of the block, gesturing towards a now open cell. His eyes kept nervously glancing inside it, and he shuffled on his feet as Simon didn't move.

"Get inside!" The guard snapped, yet kept his voice lower than a shout. He shot another nervous glance at what Simon realized to be someone already inside the cell. The other man was lying face down on the top bunk of the rather small looking metal bunk bed screwed into the wall. He had one leg dangling off, and Simon only barely stepped foot inside the cell so as to avoid awkwardly bumping into a potentially dangerous man.

Potentially. Simon had to mentally roll his eyes at himself. He was surrounded by the worst, surely this sleeping man wouldn't hesitate to put Simon in his place.

"Hands." The guard snapped once the cell door slammed shut. Simon turned around and allowed the guard to remove the cuffs from his wrists. The guard once again nervously glanced at Simon's new cellmate before swallowing thickly.

"You've got a new bunkie, MacTavish." The guard said, rushing through his words before quickly walking off. Simon shook his head, trying not to let the breath he had been holding shake as it came out. He turned, not quite sure what to do, but stopped when he realized his "bunkie" had moved.

The man was now on his side, facing somewhat towards Simon, his head propped up on one of his arms. Sharp blue eyes scanned Simon up and down, leaving him feeling exposed. A small smirk danced on the man's lips as his eyes lingered on Simon's torso, yet Simon didn't want to know what he had been thinking. A loose strand of dark hair fell over the man's brow, leading Simon to realize he had a mohawk.

"Welcome to our wee slice o' hell."

[ikari-cat]

It’s been months I know BUT

Here’s a long, LONG, update on my life currently along with the usual goals that are always 50/50 SO *types for like almost 2 hours* 

2022 - the year-long eviction crisis that I dealt with. I don’t even recall if I mentioned it here but yes in late 2021 my family and I received a notice of eviction. We have lived in the same apartment complex for around 26 years now, so you can imagine how stressful it was to be kicked out of my ‘home’ - I still live in the same complex I grew up with. So throughout 2022, I was stressed, I was broke, and I was hopeless about my future as a psychology major. Clearly, I needed to be making and saving money instead of studying in a school I felt like a stranger all while not knowing if this piece of paper will get me anything worthwhile. On top of that, I decided to go on birth control, which was a struggle for me both mentally and physically, sufficient to say my ongoing relationship with my high school sweetheart was put up to the test as usual.

SO let’s section up things from here on - still tangents however so YEET

School

The struggle of being a psychology student. In late 2021 I decided to take on Advanced Statistics due to needing to take at least one ‘graduate’ level class as an undergrad. I really enjoyed learning from my Intermediate Stats Professor so I asked for advice on improving my psychology field skills due to my continued questioning as a student - they had stressed taking as many stats courses as possible. To my horror, however, they did not teach any upper-level courses (in fact they later left the campus in general to take a position in Washington which honestly goes to show his worth) SO I was left to pick up other stat courses with other professors. As expected, they were questionable, to say the least. Given my VERY horrible introduction to stats overall at my community college, I was left feeling like even with an A in intermediate stats I was totally underqualified to be in a graduate-level course. I WAS RIGHT OF COURSE. I felt so alone, I could barely grasp any of the concepts with the professor, and ultimately my final straw was crying in a lab late at night feeling so worthless to be here as a psychology student. After the midterm, our professor had check-ins with every student on their status so far, they had asked me if I wanted to continue the course or not. I was honest, I had no idea what was going on, and with the eviction in the back of my mind it was literally like “why am I bothering with this right now?”. So, given that it was the semester after the lockdown, the professor left me as an incomplete, which I would ‘retake’ the course again within a year in order to pass it. I left and ended up dropping my other elective course due to being stuck on a group project I felt so done with (my communications students out there - I believe some of y’all are red flags now).

The following semester was in Spring 2022, at this point I decided to trust my mom in her words that she will handle everything with the eviction thus putting my all into school. I was a full-time student with a new car (which I am gonna rot with interest at this rate wfoijwofij) on the path of making up for my lack in this new school. To save myself the stress, I told my stats professor that I would retake the class in the Fall, sufficient to say my Spring semester was LOADS better with the avoidance of that class. I eventually got the hang of the campus and overall felt better than I was in late 2021. NOW, my summer could have been a lot better, I practically locked myself up in our room after being rejected from a program for the lack of experience basically and shut down once again (even more since I wasn’t saving any money for whatever eviction outcome was to happen). Fall 2022, another full-time semester, with the addition of advanced stats in the background causing me to once again go mentally insane. TO SAVE THE CHAOS, a basic rundown in the end. I PASSED ALL OF MY CLASSES. I was really fucking surprised, I should have failed at least 3 of the class (a psychology lab, another psychology course, then advanced stats) LITERALLY due to failing the majority of assignments in these classes. I wrote practically a 2-page lab paper that clearly needed to be 10 pages long, failing exams in my regular psychology course, then not turning in half of the assignments in advanced stats - sufficient to say these professors fucking took pity on me. In total, I took on essentially ‘6′ courses - I would recommend doing so for the ones who clearly have fixed discipline skills cause holy shit never again. Did I learn? For sure. Is it all gone from my head? Yes - only remember the pain. 

Now, it’s Spring 2023, originally my final semester. The semester was supposed to end with my internship class, a psychology course, and another elective. BUT AS EXPECTED, I didn’t secure an internship of my choice in time, thus pushing me to graduate in Fall 2023 since no aid can cover me in the summer. It sucks, really, but as I go in more later, right now Evolutionary Psychology and Geography on National Parks are really enjoyable - my search for an internship continues.  

Housing

So what ended up happening in the end? Our case got settled in February 2023, with us being able to stay so long as we pay back the ‘missing’ rent we owed to the complex. What started off as a parking space issue ended up making us pay practically 4k in the next 7 months that followed that settlement, as a VERY broke college student with no steady income this has been hell. All of my grant money is now gone, I have to either take out a loan or get another job in order to pay my part of the rent. Then my car didn’t help, which HIGHLY STRESS TO NEVER GET A CAR FROM A DEALERSHIP, I have fucking learned my lesson. So, overall, I’m glad to have a stable place to still call home, but how to get money again is the issue. Leaving my ‘official’ job back in 2020 messed me up mentally, the fact my standards of a job now is just to be treated as a human being with minimum pay is sad. I know I have worth, but getting yelled at every day over the littlest of things really messed me up. On the plus side, the manager of the complex we were dealing with got ‘replaced’ with a new one! My mom was one of the few old tenants to stand her ground here against them, apparently, they were kicking off older tenants for a variety of reasons. So they decided to ‘evict’ us just because my mom went to the main office instead to dispute about an extra parking space, the biggest red flag was them refusing to take our money orders then later on claiming that we were now ‘not paying rent’ thus deserved to get evicted. UGH, I’m telling you, the whole process was so fucking weird to deal with LIKE HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS HEARD OF SOMEONE FIGHTING AN EVICTION FOR OVER A YEAR??? NEVER GETTING THE COPS CALLED ON THEM OR ANYTHING JUST LITERALLY ENDLESS NOTICES UNTIL THE COURT FINALLY TOOK US IN. I am suffering in debt now but wow I could not believe this all started over a landlord getting called out - I’m so glad they are gone. 

Career 

I still work as an assistant to an acupuncturist, I think it’s about to be 5 years now? This is technically my first job but at this point, it just feels like I’m helping my grandma since well I’ve never been close to my actual ones. I’ve mentioned it before but if for some reason new people read this, basically I had gone to see her as a patient with acne scars, and yeah wanted them dealt with SO micro-needling in a way. The old assistant was leaving, and I was going to stop my sessions due to lack of money now, so she decided to give me the job. It’s well, something still, business pretty much died due to Covid, and well with the recession and all it’s basically not cheap to go here. The treatment works, just money comes into play, as in general acne isn’t something cheap to deal with (especially since it’s mainly based on genetic factors). I miss getting treatments myself, but since we only work 2 days.....you get the point. I still would rather be her last assistant till she retires though, or at least until her niece works with her SO overall it’s either another part-time job or wait till I’m done with school. I have no idea what I want to do still, all I want is to be treated well really, it’s sad but I really don’t mind doing mundane things so long as I’m helping others. Because of my variety of interests, however, I’ve been so tempted to go back into food service, especially if it is at a bakery! Given my rising interest in plants and wildfire, however, it’d be cool to also work in that realm BUT I chalk it up to me just wanting to go out and explore in general. Overall, I still want to work in something related to psychology, hence my pickiness in an internship. SO MANY OF THESE SITES JUST WANT A SOCIAL MEDIA INTERN, YOU FUCKERS IF I WANTED TO DO A MARKETING JOB I WOULD HAVE MAJORED IN THAT, I know we live in a capitalistic society but god damn I do not want to waste my internship on something like this. THEN THE ABA ISSUE, literally a whole fucking sham I’m telling you, in what world do you think it’s safe to send out students to families like this???? If a job offers a bonus sign up it’s a sham like AND THEN BEING ON CALL?????? I’m tired bro - literally if I am so desperate for an internship I am going to cry in picking a site like that. 

Mentally and Physically

Oh man, I have been on a trip. This year I am in therapy, it’s provided by the school, and currently doing 1-on-1 and an art therapy group (on a waitlist for another therapist with my primary healthcare). It’s been a lot, I cry often still, and in front of others again. Especially with dealing with serious past issues (being a CSA victim for one), for like almost 6 years now I’ve tried to cope with my mental issues alone - please seek out therapy. I’m serious, it has helped me a lot, it’s fucking terrifying but you feel so much better knowing that you are being heard and consulted. My breakdowns got so bad that I’m going off birth control just to see if that has caused a rise in things, I have pinpointed around 4 moments where I literally wanted to end things for myself. Given my issues, I could not imagine a ‘normal’ person taking all these things at once without at least feeling exhausted. So, it’s been a long time coming, but I am glad I am receiving the help I needed. As you can imagine, however, I’ve distanced myself online to avoid downsprialing in social media as I usually do. It sucks, especially since I am a closed-off person with only 4 bonds (my partner, my two friends, and my brother) BUT I’ve also noticed that a lot of my interests online were getting negative (pokemon, dceu, star wars etc) so to avoid the heartbreak it means to distant myself more. ALTHOUGH, yes I am more active on my side twitter with dimileth than anything else, hey they have been a pairing that has made me very emotional over so it’s been comforting for me (especially with being sexually liberated and all). Overall, I am trying to do better. Physically I have been more active, the campus gym being free really helps, and I’ve been taking weekly yoga classes to cope better. Ideally, I want to just be able to take the goddamn stairs without panting like a bitch, but a push-up would be great to fwjofijwofiwfwjf ALSO I forgot to mention that food stamps have really helped me as a broke student! I’ve also cut off soda or rather just cold drinks in general, the only caffeinated things I can tolerate now are sweet coffee and matcha which I rely on for my mornings. I can make a list of foods but for the sake of this part, basically being more active both mentally and physically. 

Relationship

Ah man, if you are reading this still, you are a trooper. But I wanted to share it here since well, this is my blog after all. I will probably make an official post about this eventually but I AM ENGAGED. This is going to bite me in the ass later but fuck it, I can’t wait to marry this weenie I’ve been with since high school. It’s been such a mess but I literally am ready to settle down with this fool, he’s been through so much with me that just the mere thought of him gone from my life tears me up. As mentioned, birth control messed me up, but it has taught me a lot about what I want in a committed relationship. M and I went on a family trip of sorts to Joshua Tree National Park, it was with his extended family and I was so excited since it was my first National Park and potential in the well family! Unfortunately, the trip did not go well, I saw what a broken marriage can be and it really affected me. I felt like shit, and I just remember crying in the car wanting to leave cause I couldn’t take seeing them in pain and M understood. I felt guilty, this was his family after all, but it was like a reminder for both of us how families aren’t at all what they seem. I felt like despite the terrible experience however, it made me realize that I never want to be like that, I want to make things work and not even THINK of taking it out in front of others with no remorse, at the end of the day children shouldn’t be exposed to this conflict - as a broken child I can’t imagine doing that to one of my own. I’m so fucking critical of families now but I can’t help it, I want the best for my family, and I want to do better. So, YES, I’m sure M and I will go on rough paths once again but seeing all these struggling relationships makes me realize that what I have is something to be grateful for - wow this is so preachy fiwojfwoifjwo f

Overall

Honestly? I still never expect anyone to read this, but as always, it gives me time to reflect on my life all while realizing that I do have a blog for like 7 years now. I do feel guilty for not keeping the blog updated, but well, as you read, it hasn’t been easy for me. In high school, I remember drawing all the time, and now I keep staring at others' draw wishing I can do the same. I’ve been more active on Instagram since my friends dragged me along there, so it’s been great to keep up in well irl things since I was so used to just living in my own bubble. I swear it’s like after Ben Solo died nothing has been the same fjwoifjwf literally COVID hit and life has changed for everyone since. I unfollowed a lot of blogs here in order to give myself a fresh start, and well hoping to queue from my drafts again first before starting to blog again. Will I draw soon? Probably not, despite getting the Ipad I feel like I stopped drawing, so maybe it’s really just trying to draw back on paper again to get the mood. I know I’ve completely dropped fandoms, but well the ongoing content that comes with them hasn’t been making me happy SO I would rather post things that make me happy. It sucks, especially if you follow me for something specific, but well that is just life after all. I am not sure what exactly I want this blog to be still, but I think the premise is still the same as ever - random stuff I like. From Pokemon, to Horror, to now a pairing from a Fire Emblem game that is almost 3 years now? All while getting a BA in psychology?????? Truly, thank you for sticking around, I’m going to be updating my socials despite my messy state but hope you have been doing well!!! If not, we struggle together!!!! *disappears* 

(My baby is turning 7 in August - time is really going by)

[funkymbtifiction]

hey Charity! i’ve got a few things on my mind about some of the enneagram triads i was thinking about earlier:

1. withdrawn, assertive, superego: i tend to picture withdrawn types as being literally withdrawn (reserved, shy, quiet) due to some of the triad descriptions so when i come across a bubbly soc 9 for instance i’ll sometimes mistake them for a 2. and superego types are described as very responsible, organized, orderly.. which may be the case if they’re 1s but i was reading enneatype structure recently and naranjo seemed to view type 2s as quite undisciplined and a bit hedonistic, he likened them to 7s at one point. how can you generally tell if someone is withdrawn if they’re outgoing and friendly or superego if they’re disorganized and careless? or assertive types who are on the quieter and more reserved side (like ISP 7s for instance who may have lower energy for continuous external stimulation due to being introverts)

2. gut/heart: can’t strong emotions produce a physical sensation that can feel like a gut instinct? how can you discern if you’re acting from your gut or off of emotions? or is heart triad less about acting off emotions and more about acting with an image in mind and therefore more calculated than acting purely off emotions?

3. rejection/frustration: what’s the difference between rejecting needs and being frustrated needs aren’t met? in both cases, you’re feeling that the needs arent met (vs an attachment type who i believe? feels their needs are met and is therefore attaching to what they feel is meeting them) so it it really just a matter of rejection types deciding not to care about the needs not being met/deciding they don’t need them anyway vs frustration types not wanting to accept that and being upset about it?

by the way, unrelated but i really enjoyed the new style you tried out the other day comparing and contrasting the two characters! seeing how characters can potentially make the same choices for totally different reasons (or clash due to different priorities and perceptions) is helpful and interesting :)

Focus less on behavior and more on looking beyond that behavior to see what is motivating it. Withdrawn means “I move away from you to solve my own problems and don’t rely on you.” It can mean they are shy and wait to be approached (in introverts) but it also means “I shut you out to get my needs met… by myself!” You can have a socially outgoing 9 who is still going to shut down and push people away when something bad happens in their life, because they trust themselves to deal with it and it doesn’t occur to them to involve you. Super-ego has a mentality of “should.” They have moral judgments about other people and how they are behaving, what the right thing is to do, how they ought to live, etc. They also over-think all the time in their respective centers (2s, about relationships; 6s, about everything; 1s, about being perfect.) Assertive types can be introverted, but it’s still “I will get my way. You will get out of my way.”  Identify the behavior, and then ask yourself why they are doing this—to avoid pain, to reach a goal, to avoid being vulnerable, etc? Is this 2 prideful in that she is the center of everyone’s world and necessary to their well-being (“you need me to show you how to be successful and popular!”) or is she a 7 who just wants to avoid pain?

Yes, some people make emotional decisions. If torn between gut and emotions… ask yourself if there’s anger involved. If not, they are not a gut type. Gut types are driven by anger; anger is their foremost emotion and what springs them into action. They are mad, all the time. Even the sweet little 9s who say they aren’t mad are still upset at being taken advantage of by the world, because they refuse to take up space in it. And yes, image types do focus a great deal on managing how you perceive them.

I see rejection vs. frustration as this ��� rejection types ‘reject’ their own vulnerability in order to believe something about themselves; the 5 doesn’t need you, they are fully independent; the 2 doesn’t need other people (but they need me, or their lives would fall apart!); the 8 doesn’t need to be vulnerable (I cover it up with toughness and warn other people not to be soft). They assume their needs won’t be met by others and so prematurely reject that as a possibility; whereas frustration types are getting their needs met by others, but are refusing to let that make them happy, by insisting there is something ‘wrong.’ 1s are angry that this isn’t more perfect; 4s are refusing to accept what exists for a fantasy of a different version of reality that is more meaningful to them; 7s are choosing to be restless as a response to their sense that everything could be more idealized/better/magical.

Thanks for your feedback. So far it’s been positive in terms of people liking that style. You’ll see more posts in that manner coming soon!

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Breaking Me in Two | Part 2

Word Count: 5.4k

Genre: smut, angst

Summary: You don't know what possessed you to say yes to a threesome between you, your best friend that you've been secretly in love with for years, and his new best friend.

Warnings: love triangle, threesome, sub!reader, sub!jake, dom!sunghoon, mxm, hyung kink, blowjobs, fingering, PIV, brat-taming, edging. 

You haven’t seen Jake since you agreed to the friends with benefits thing a few days ago. You tried inviting him out or to your dorm but he turned you down every time. You missed him terribly even if it’s only been a few days. It seemed that getting a taste of him has kicked your need for him into overdrive and now you couldn’t wait for more.

So when the time came around for movie night and he texted you that he got snacks and everything ready for you, you were ecstatic to finally spend time with him. And if you had put on makeup and something extra pretty for the normally low effort hangout, who was to blame you? Now that you are in a physical relationship, you want to look sexy to him. And if it happened to get you laid, then all the better. Even if per the official deal that the three of you agreed on, no two people were allowed to hook up without the third party being present in order to avoid making the absent party feel left out and create jealousy among you.  But who cares? You don’t have to tell Sunghoon, and what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?

All the hopes and fantasies you had dreamt up in your head were dashed however when the door to their shared dorm swung open to reveal a smiling Sunghoon. “Welcome, princess.”

“Oh. You’re here.” Your stomach drops to your feet. You feel like you’d been caught red-handed even if he had no way of knowing your intentions.  

“Yeah, did you think I wouldn’t be?” The smile doesn’t leave his face. 

“No, of course not! I totally knew you’d be here.” You say, nervously wiping your hands on the front of your dress, and quickly regretting it when Sunghoon’s eyes follow, biting his lips as he takes you in. “Hm, so you’re wearing this pretty dress for us then?” 

“No! I was out before I dropped by.” You lie through your teeth, tugging the skirt of your dress down. You felt so exposed under his sharp gaze, mentally and physically, and you quickly push your way past him to escape. But you’re out of luck as his hands snake around your waist, pulling you back into his chest and shutting the door behind him.

“You look beautiful, princess.” He whispers in your ear and you shiver in his solid embrace, his large frame draping over you and your body settling into his so easily it makes it hard to break free of his loose hold. 

Thankfully, you hear your name being called and you look up to see Jake coming around the corner. “You’re here!”

That breaks the spell, and you squirm in Sunghoon’s grasp. He lets you go and you run towards Jake, throwing your arms around him in a big hug. “Woah, there.” He laughs, hugging you back just as tightly.

“I missed you, Jakey.” You pout.

“I missed you too, buttercup. Sorry I kept cancelling, I was really busy.” He says apologetically, pulling back and you reluctantly let him go. He grabs the skirt of your dress with his thumb and forefinger and tugs on it curiously. “What’s with the dress?”

“You like it?” You beam, feeling your heart pounding in your chest as you twirl around for him. 

“It’s nice, I guess. But are you gonna be comfortable wearing that?” He asks dumbly, brows furrowed. “Would you like to borrow some of my clothes instead?”

You deflate at his obvious cluelessness. Not only did he have no idea that you wore this for him, but he also didn’t even care. 

“Sure.”

Jake pats your cheek before leaving to grab you something to change into. When he’s gone, you hear a snort coming from behind you and you whip around to see Sunghoon looking at you with amusement dancing in his eyes.

“What are you looking at?” You scowl at him and he holds his hands up in defense.

Soon, Jake returns with a t-shirt and some sweatpants that you quickly snatch before stomping away to his bedroom, miffed that Jake inadvertently made a fool of you in front of Sunghoon. 

“What’s with her?” You hear Jake ask, but Sunghoon just laughs.

_____________________

You end up wearing only the shirt. It was long enough to reach your midthigh and you wanted to maintain some level of sexiness in spite of Jake’s cluelessness and you thought that the baggy pants would kill that.

When you step into the living room, however, you regret not wearing the pants after all as Sunghoon’s eyes immediately fall to your exposed thighs. Consciously, you tug on the shirt and quickly grab a blanket, choosing to sit alone on the loveseat with your legs covered with a blanket.

Jake looks at you in confusion. “Don’t you want to sit with us?”

You eye their position on the couch, with Jake sitting at one end of the couch and Sunghoon sitting next to him in the middle. If you were to join them, you’d have to sit next to Sunghoon and you didn’t want to do that.

“I’m good.”

Jake pouts at your reply, but he starts the movie nonetheless.

___________________________

Throughout the movie, you see movement out of the corner of your eye happening under their blanket, and you hear the occasional whine from Jake, followed by a scolding from Sunghoon to calm down, pup. You do your best to concentrate on the movie and pretend like you don’t notice anything.

But then Jake lets out an insolent huff and throws the blanket to the floor, climbing over Sunghoon’s lap and pulling him into a hungry kiss. Sunghoon lets it go on for a minute before he smacks Jake’s ass with both hands, making him whine loudly and you have to hold down your own whimper.

“You’re being such a naughty boy right now.” Sunghoon warns and Jake protests. "But you said we'd do it when she gets here. Well, she's here."

Jake’s words cause a sharp pang in your heart. Did he only invite you over to have sex?

You notice Sunghoon throwing a glance at you and you quickly school your expression so as not to let on how hurt you are. You can’t show any weakness to your rival. 

Sunghoon look back at Jake and his fingers knead the other boy’s ass. "Fine. What do you want, pup?"

"Want to suck hyung's cock."

"Get on your knees then."

Jake gets on the floor between Sunghoon’s legs, his hands obediently in his lap as he waits for further instruction from the other man. Sunghoon slowly pulls his pants down and takes his cock out, stroking the half-hard length until it’s completely stiff in front of Jake’s watering mouth.

“Open up.” He orders and Jake immediately opens his mouth, taking Sunghoon’s dick inside.

Sunghoon puts his hand on Jake's head, gradually pushing his head down his long length until Jake starts gagging. He tries to pull back, but Sunghoon doesn't let him. 

"Come on, you wanted it so bad. Take it." 

Jake moans pitifully and does his best to take the other man's cock, his hands fisting in Sunghoon's thighs as gags and slobbers over his dick, the wet sounds filling the room along with Sunghoon's deep grunts make you heat up. 

You can't help yourself. The way Sunghoon makes Jake so easily submit to him lights your nerves on fire and you don’t know which man you’d prefer to be right now--Sunghoon who is so strict and firm as he guides Jake over his cock or Jake who is pliable and needy as he pleasures the other man. Either way, you feel dazed as you let a hand slip under the blanket to rub at your pussy. 

"No getting yourself off." Sunghoon's voice makes you jolt in shock. You’d forgotten that this wasn’t some kind of erotic movie and that the two men can see you too. You look up to Sunghoon’s face to see him glaring at you. "If you wanna feel good, come here."

You hesitate. You still feel super wary around Sunghoon and you contemplate whether getting to cum is worth dealing with him. But then Jake takes his mouth off Sunghoon’s dick and looks at you, extending his hand out towards you encouragingly. “Come on, buttercup. Want you too.”

That’s all it takes. His words are like a spell, pulling you to your feet and stringing you along until you’re knee to knee with him on the floor. You watch, mesmerized, as he puts his mouth back on Sunghoon, licking and sucking along his cock.

You could sit there and watch him forever, his heart-shaped lips puckered around the other man’s dick while his tongue wets the hard length. He looked like such a whore and it made your poor pussy throb.

You’re rudely shaken out of your reverie when a hand twists in your hair and tug on it, forcing you to look up. Your eyes meet Sunghoon’s as he nudges your head forwards towards his dick. “Now you try, princess.”

You glare at him, ready to curse him out, but then you feel Jake’s hand crawling up your body and squeezing your breasts through the thin shirt, staring you dead in the eyes while he gives Sunghoon little licks.  

“Jakey…” You breathe shallowly, arching your chest into his touch as shivering as his thumbs tease your pebbled nipples. To make matters worse, he leans into your neck and starts kissing the skin there, and if you weren’t already on your knees, you’re sure you would’ve fallen. “Do it. Wanna see you suck his cock.”

You shudder. It’s so unfair that he’d do this to you. How could you ever say no to him? 

Immediately, you grab the dick in front of you, giving it some licks of your own. Jake pulls back to watch you, but his hand never leaves your tits, squeezing them and pinching the nipples as he watches, egging you on as you swirl your tongue around Sunghoon’s tip before hollowing your cheeks and taking him inside your mouth.

"Hmm, that's it, just like that." Sunghoon groans, the fingers in your hair massaging your scalp appreciatively. "You're so good at this, princess. Used to having dick in your mouth?"

You glare at him but it's hard to look intimidating with a mouthful of cock and it ends up just making him chuckle. "It's okay. You look pretty with my dick in your mouth.” 

You want to protest but the way he's looking down at you so hungrily, eyes heavy-lidded and pupils so wide and dark they could suck you into their blackness, makes the words catch in your throat and around his cock, leaving you trying to discreetly rub your thighs together to soothe the burning heat between them.

“Jake seems to think so too." Sunghoon adds pointedly, and Jake stills beside you. You pull off of Sunghoon’s dick with a pop to look at Jake and see his hand frozen on his cock. "I said no getting yourself off, pup."

Jake whimpers guiltily, looking so small and pathetic you can’t help but reach forward and grab him by the hair, pulling him to sunghoon's dick and meeting his lips there. 

It’s filthy, the two of you unable to kiss properly, your tongues teasing his tip as they try to caress each other and ending up just slobbering all over Sunghoon’s cock. Not that he minded.

“Fuck. Good puppies. That's so sexy.” He hisses, dick twitching as you and Jake trap his tip between your mouths as you kiss. "I'm close. Get off."

But you didn't want to stop. 

You don't know what comes over you. Maybe you wanted to stick it to Sunghoon and show him that he’s not the boss of you. Maybe your mind is so corrupted with the image of Jake's mouth on Sunghoon's dick that you now need to see it come to its logical conclusion with Sunghoon’s cum dripping from Jake’s lips. 

Or maybe you figured that if you get sunghoon off and make him soft, then only Jake will fuck you.

Whatever the case may be, you have your mind set and you grab Sunghoon's dick with one hand, jerking him hard and fast to not let his orgasm fade away while you use the other one to push Jake’s face against his dick. 

"Open your mouth." You tell Jake and he does so immediately, it makes your pussy clench. He is so obedient for you the same way he is for Sunghoon and it thrills you. Maybe you too can control him and give him the pleasure he craves. Maybe in the future you won’t even need to have Sunghoon there at all.  

"What the fuck?" Sunghoon gasps as he cums, his seed spilling onto Jake’s mouth.

You struggle to decide who to watch--Sunghoon with his body convulsing as he loses control and paints Jake’s lips with his pearly cum, or Jake as he sits there and takes it, the cum pooling so prettily in his mouth.

You suppose the answer is easy. After all, you’re only in love with one of these men.

You pull Jake’s head towards you and kiss him passionately, sharing Sunghoon’s cum between your mouths. God, you feel debauched as he holds onto you and eagerly shares another man’s cum with you. You were both beyond messes as you put your hands against his shoulders, intending to push him down and ride his brains out. 

But then you feel yourself getting yanked up by the hair, your body pulled up and onto Sunghoon’s lap so you’re face to face with his wrath.

"What the hell was that? Did I say you can do that?"

You shrug, trying to act unaffected like you weren't soaking through your panties right now and the way he was glaring at you was making you use every ounce of willpower not to grind yourself on his thigh. 

“I don’t like brats. Speak up.” He grabs your jaw, gritting his teeth at your nonchalant response. 

You roll your eyes. "I don't care."

Suddenly, everything is spinning around as Sunghoon turns you around and pushes you down, bending you over his knees and pulling Jake’s shirt over your ass before he smacks it harshly.

You cry out pathetically. You’ve never been spanked before, and you feel simultaneously humiliated and turned on.

Sunghoon pauses, his hand kneading the flesh he just hit. “I don’t want to do this to you, princess. Just say you’re sorry and I’ll stop.” 

Yeah, there is no way in hell you’ll ever apologize to him. “Fuck you.” 

That earns you another slap. This time you make an effort to bite down on the garbled cry the spank elicits, but it’s not really effective.

“Don’t want to hurt you, princess.” His voice is rough and hoarse as he says it, making it hard to believe his words. His hand kneads the skin of your ass, his fingers creeping closer and closer to your pussy, and you try to sit up, mortified by your wetness and worried he’d find out if he were to touch you. But his other hand presses on your back, holding you down while his fingers brush over your panties. 

You shudder at the light touch and his subsequent sharp intake of breath makes you want to melt into the couch in embarrassment.

"Fuck, you’re so wet your panties are sticking to your pussy and you still wanna act like you don't care." He rubs your pussy through the thin fabric and you bite down on your tongue so as not to give him the satisfaction of hearing your moans. He doesn’t let you get away with it however, his hand reaching up and coming down hard on your ass. "Answer me."

"Fuck you." You’re repeating yourself, but it’s the only thing your strung out brain is capable of thinking up right now and it does the trick. 

"You still wanna be a brat?" He grits out, "Fine. Do you remember the safe word?"

You do. You'd agreed on the traffic light system beforehand, but you’re feeling stubborn so you don’t say anything. He grabs you by the hair and yanks your head up, holding it in an uncomfortable position that makes your neck hurt. “What’s the safe word, brat? If you won’t say it then I’ll stop everything.”

Jake comes into your field of vision, face colored with worry as he caresses your cheek. “Tell him, buttercup.” 

You can’t say no to him even if it means giving Sunghoon what he wants. 

“Red.” You croak, and he lets your face fall back into the couch.

“Good. You might need it.” He informs you then he says to Jake, “Get back. She doesn’t deserve to be treated nicely until she learns to be good.” 

Jake reluctantly moves away as Sunghoon goes back to spanking your ass, this time not stopping after a count or two but raining the hits down on you without mercy.  You jump with every smack of his open hand on your ass, feeling your skin turning red and hot as the tears spring to your eyes. 

You don’t know how long this goes on, your gaze trained on Jake as he watches you get punished, his eyes silently begging you to just give in but you can’t. You can’t lose to Sunghoon. 

It feels like forever, but Sunghoon stops eventually, his hand going back to massaging your flesh, his touch uncharacteristically soft.

“Don’t cry, princess.” He soothes, and with a start you realize you’re crying. “I’m sorry but you can't just do whatever pops into your pretty head. I'm in charge here." He runs his fingers between your folds once again, finding your wet hole and pushing into it through your underwear, not getting far enough in because of it.

You cry out in frustration. You’ve endured his punishment well. You deserve more than these lousy touches. 

"What’s wrong, princess. Does it hurt here?” He asks with fake sympathy, one hand pulling your panties to the side while the other teases your hole from outside. “Want me to put my fingers in you?”

Yes. Fuck yes. His fingers were so long and slender and pretty, you needed them stuffed inside you. You remember how they filled you up so nice last time, and your pussy clenches at the memory. But, stubborn as ever, you can’t give him the satisfaction of having you tell him you need him and you bite down on the couch to silence your need.

A sharp slap hits your pussy and you jolt forward with both pleasure and pain, your cry muffled against the couch cushions for a second before he grabs your hair and pulls your head up again. "Ah fuck!"

"Wanna give in yet? You're so drenched, it's ruining my pants."

"Only cuz of jake." You heave out stubbornly even as you squirm on Sunghoon's lap, and you hear Jake gasp. The next smack that you feel is the harshest one yet. 

"Yeah, you want the puppy?” He scoffs, pulling your body up and freeing up the space in front of you. “Come on Jake, give her your cock."

You hear Jake shuffling to his feet with uncertainty, but Sunghoon is there to guide him. 

“Sit on the couch.” He orders and Jake obeys. He then pushes your face into Jake’s lap, ordering you to suck him off. For once, you eagerly rush to obey, but as soon as you put your mouth on Jake’s dick, Sunghoon pushes his fingers inside of you, making you groan loudly and your mouth fall open uselessly.

Sunghoon rubs your face against Jake’s dick, humiliating you. “Come on, didn’t you want his dick?”

You hold yourself up on shaky arms and start licking Jake’s dick, trying not to buckle under Sunghoon’s fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. You can’t really focus though with how needy you are and how much you crave release, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Sunghoon. 

"Come on princess, don't slack off. Suck the puppy off properly." He grabs your head and pushes it all the way down Jake's dick, making his hips tense and shoot up, burying his dick even deeper inside your throat. "It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

He holds you there for a few seconds before he lets you get up. You gasp, your closed up throat not letting you cough properly. 

You feel a hand at the back of your head again, and you panic a bit, not ready for the assault on your throat yet. But the hand only nudges you towards the dick in front of you gently and you look up to see that it’s Jake who is holding your head this time, his eyes needy. 

Weakly, you lick his length as you try to regain your breath, but that’s not near enough to satisfy him and he whines. This draws Sunghoon’s attention and he pushes Jake’s hand away and replaces it with his. 

“What’s your color, princess?” He asks, his fingers curling inside you and brushing against that sensitive spot, making you moan loudly. 

“Green.” For once you give in easily, hoping your compliance will get him to keep hitting that spot. 

"Good." He grabs your hand in his free one as the tips of his fingers brush against your g-spot again, making your mouth open in a silent groan, and Jake uses this opportunity to push the head of his dick into your mouth. "If you want to stop, squeeze my hand, okay?" 

You groan around Jake’s dick, signaling that you heard him, and the resulting vibrations make Jake gasp and his hips twitch under you. 

"Good girl." He pulls his fingers out of you before thrusting them back in, and your mouth falls open in a muffled moan. Jake shivers under you, struggling to hold back and it seems like Sunghoon notices. “You don’t need to hold back, Jake. You can fuck her face.”  

"Thank you, hyung." Jake breathes out, grateful to Sunghoon as if you’re some toy that Sunghoon is allowing him to use. 

It should piss you off. Sunghoon isn’t your master. He doesn’t get to decide what to do with your body. You are pissed off. But you’re also incredibly turned on. It’s hard not to when the man you love is moaning so prettily because of you, his thrusts erratic and desperate as he seeks the warm, wet heat of your mouth. 

But you also can’t deny how hot it is to be under Sunghoon’s cool authority, getting fucked open by him as a reward for letting Jake use your mouth to get off. And damn, did his fingers feel good. You can’t really focus on the abuse your throat is getting subjected to when he’s fucking you so good, his two fingers knuckle-deep inside you and filling the room with an embarrassing squelching noise. 

But It’s not like he’s not affected too. You can feel his hard length poking against your stomach, the heat of it adding to the fire that’s pooling inside of you. You squeeze your free hand under you, pushing your ass up in the air to allow you to grab his dick. 

You want him to feel something too. To take him down a peg. To feel like you turn him on too.

But to your dismay, he pulls his fingers out of you and grabs your wandering hand. You whine around Jake’s dick as he twists it behind your back, his other hand never leaves yours. "Keep this here." 

You can’t really protest with Jake’s cock so far up your throat, and all the curses your mind thinks up break apart as soon as Sunghoon pushes his fingers back inside you, three this time, their thickness making it hard for him to fuck you as fast as before and you needily move your hips to help him, fucking yourself back on his fingers, your moans coming out nonstop around Jake’s dick.  

He’s the first one to break, the combination of your puckered lips and loud moans around him pushing him over the edge, and he thrusts up one last time, burying his dick all the way down your throat as it twitches and he cums, his seed shooting out. It’s too much for you to take in all at once and gag and cough, some of his cum drooling out of your mouth and making a mess of the both of you. 

Sunghoon pulls his fingers out of you. “Let go of my hand, princess.” His hand brushes over your back gently, and you realize you’re squeezing tightly on his other hand. 

You let go of it and he immediately grabs you by the waist and pulls you up, seating you in his lap and wiping the semen and saliva off your chin while you try to catch your breath. 

"There you go princess, calm down."

With the way you’re perched on his lap, you can feel his hard dick nestled right against your aching pussy, and you throw your arms around him, whining as you grind down on it. 

"Don’t try to act all sweet now.” You growl, voice coming out scratchy. “Fuck me already, you bastard."

Sunghoon flips you on your back, placing your head in Jake's lap as he settles between your legs. You’re sure your hair is now matted with Jake’s cum, but it’s hard to care when Sunghoon pulls his dick out and rubs it over your pussy teasingly. “I want you to beg for it." 

Fuck, you hate him so much.

"In your dreams.” You don’t know how you’re still holding back. You’re so horny you could cry, and his dick is so close to giving you what you needed if only you’d give into him. But you won’t. Your pride is on the line. 

“Come on, I can see how much you want it.” He coaxes, pressing the tip of his dick against your entrance. 

To your mortification, your pussy clenches around his tip and arousal gushes out to coat HIM, your pussy basically begging him to fill you up. 

But his body is working against him too. You can see how his dick jerks, painfully red and hard against your pussy, and his hips twitch as he does his best to hold back.

“And I can see how much you’re dying to fuck me, so just do it and get it over with.”

Sunghoon glares at that, unhappy with how dismissive you’re being. "Don’t speak like that."

Your retort is ready on the tip of your tongue but then Jake props his fingers under your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. "Listen to him, buttercup. Just tell him what he wants to hear." He smooths your hair down, stroking it gently.

"No, Jakey. You fuck me."

That was the wrong thing to say. 

You gasp as you’re suddenly down and off Jake's lap, a shadow covering you as Sunghoon looms over you, blocking your entire view.

"He doesn't call the shots here. I do. You understand?” He grabs your thighs and pushes them flat against your body, twisting you in half and squeezing half the air out of your lungs, the other half getting pushed out when he thrusts his dick all the way inside of you at once. 

He goes in without a condom this time. You'd discussed it beforehand. All of you are clean and you are on the pill. And the feeling of his bare dick brushing against your walls, his heat seeping into your own, burns you up. 

Still, you can’t help resisting him. 

"Really? Seems like I'm the one who calls the shots." You bite back, but your triumphant laugh gets cut off halfway when he pulls back and thrusts into you hard. "You make me so angry, brat."

Whatever you had to say comes out garbled as he grabs onto your hips and fucks into you like an animal. With his position hovering over you, he just has to let his hips drop to fill you to the brim with his cock before drawing back and doing it all over again, suffocating you as he lets out all his frustration at you, quickly reducing you to a moaning, whimpering mess. 

“Finally, something shuts you up.” He growls, and you can’t even talk back anymore even if you wanted to, his cock going so deep inside you, you can feel it in your belly, the upper side of it dragging along your g-spot and making your thighs quiver and burn as they're pressed between your bodies. 

"Look at the mess I've made of you." He coos, cradling your cheek gently in contrast to his hips slapping against yours. 

"C-close…" You manage to whimper out, just needing the tiniest little push to cum after being basically edged all night.

But then he's pulling back and slipping his dick out of you, depriving you of all stimulation all at once. Panicking, your hands shoot forward and your legs wrap around him, trying to pull him back inside you, but he places one hand on your waist to put distance between you and he uses the other one to jerk himself off. 

"No…" You cry out,  reaching out to grab his dick and push it inside you but it's too late, his warm seed shooting out and covering your hands and the outside of your pussy, taunting you with what you could’ve had. 

It's too much. You were so close. He was so close. But he ripped it all away from you.

"Fuck you!" You sob, hands shaking as you smack his chest.

He easily grabs your hands and pins them down. 

"Grab her something clean to wear, Jake."

Your mouth hangs open in shock. "You're not going to leave me like this, are you?" You squeak out, scandalized.

"You were nothing but a brat this entire time. You don't get to be rewarded for it." His words sound insane to your ears, and you’re not the only one. 

"That's a bit cruel, don't you think?" Jake speaks out but then Sunghoon shoots him a glare and he shuts up. "She made up her mind. Now go." 

You hear Jake scurry away and you cry out. "This is so fucking unfair! You can’t do this to me, you crazy bastard!" 

"You've learned nothing, have you?" He sighs, sitting up and pulling you on his lap with your back to him and his arms around you so you can’t take a swing at him. 

Anger burns you up. Who the hell does he think he is? 

You stay quiet. You refuse to even grace him with a response. He won’t give you your release but he expects you to entertain his bullshit? 

"I'm sorry that I had to do this but you won't listen." He says, lips kissing your shoulder and his hands caressing your thighs in a way that was probably intended to be soothing but it just reminds you of how horny you are and how he won’t give you the release you so desperately need.

He sighs at your silence but says nothing else. And when Jake comes, he pulls the shirt you’re wearing off, using it to wipe the mess between your legs before he takes the fresh shirt from Jake and puts it on you.

"Are you really not gonna help me, Jake?" You accuse and he looks down, unable to face you. 

"Fuck you both." You huff and try to get up. But Sunghoon doesn’t let you go. "Where are you going?" 

"Away from you." You growl, trying to squirm your way out of his grip but he won’t budge. “You can’t leave like this at this late hour.”

“I’m not staying with you.” You hiss, fighting harder and he snaps at you. “Will you stop struggling?!” He booms and you immediately still. 

“It’s not safe for you to leave like this. Jake, take her to your room to sleep." He sighs, handing you to Jake. "And if I find out that she seduced you into getting her off, you'll both be punished severely."

_________________

A/N: this story is so tricky to write and not let everyone’s intentions be so clear 😭also writing threesomes is fucking hard what did I get myself into 😭

leave me messages of support or what you think of the characters so far or whatever I need all the motivation I can get. Also the plot takes a while to pick up so bear with me

[after-witch]

A Simple Cup of Tea [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Title: A Simple Cup of Tea [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Synopsis: You have to be prepared and poised and perfect. But it’s hard to be all those things, even with the looming threat of your husband sitting next to you, when you’ve got a secret hidden underneath your clothes...

Word Count: 1875

Notes: yandere, forced marriage, abuse, bondage, NSFW 

Poised.

You must be poised. Every movement, every gesture, must embody a quiet grace. Your face must be pleasant, without seeming garishly joyous. Your voice must be soft, melodic, clear; yet loud enough to be heard without being required to repeat yourself. 

You must know how to keep a conversation going smoothly, like water in a stream, yet understand when to keep silent. You must know all of these things and so much more, and act on them at all times in the proper degree; all in order to avoid embarrass yourself and more importantly, embarrassing your husband.

In other words, you must be perfect.

And you try--you have to try, because what other choice does Scaramouche leave you?--but it’s difficult. You were never born for this stifled life he’s pushed you into, for a life spent mostly within the walls of his home or at most, behind the high, impenetrable walls of the courtyard.

A life draped in rich clothing, overseeing fine details of the estate that make your head spin. How many bags of this or that must be ordered per week? When should the bedding in that room be washed? What is the appropriate amount of money to put in a servant’s purse when sending them to the market? Questions you never imagined yourself asking yourself, which now fill your day with a gilded tedium.

There’s a deceptive leisure lurking underneath everything here. True, you no longer have to travel far and wide, selling your family’s wares from heavy baskets carried on your back; you no longer have to search the edges of the forest for edible plants to toss into boiling broth on days when you could not afford meat. You never want for food (unless he takes your dinner away as punishment) and any comfort you could need is within reach, so long as you’re behaving.

But you are on edge, always. Preparing yourself for another pitfall that might open up beneath your feet, and always looking for ways to improve yourself. Or at least ways to avoid earning your husband’s sharp disapproval. Regardless of your efforts, you have been on the wrong end of a harsh insult, a slap, a pinch, a cane, more times than you care to count.

Be prepared, be poised, be perfect. It’s the mantra you repeat to yourself every morning.

The mantra you repeated to yourself this particular morning, in preparation for a meeting he insisted you attend. A meeting which apparently required your finely-tuned skills in pleasing conversation and your much-practiced ability to “pour a passable cup of tea.”

Anyone else might assume it was meant to be an insult, but your time with Scaramouche has led to you to understand that the slightest praise towards you, while minuscule to others, was something you were meant to fall on your knees and thank him for. Sometimes literally, depending on his mood.

Why he wanted you to pour tea for some delegates from Fontaine, and what their increasing presence in the area really meant, you didn’t know. But it wasn’t your place to ask him, and the memory of recent stinging pain on your backside keeps you from feeling even remotely tempted to broach the subject.

So here you are. Dressed elegantly, but not garishly, as is proper for his wife. With a tea pot in your hand and perfectly arranged cups and the ghost of a pleasing smile on your face. Charming words drip from your lips, pleasantries, pleasantries, pleasantries--the type of words Scaramouche loathes yet drums into you all the same.

Prepared, poised, perfect.

Except for the slight tremble of your hands.

Except for the uncomfortable hitch in your breath as you speak.

Except for the fact that there are ropes tied snugly around your breasts, wrapping around your chest and criss-crossing between your breasts with an uncomfortable pressure, all hidden underneath the outfit he’d chosen for you that afternoon.

You’d balked, first--then begged. Begged not to be humiliated like this. What if someone sees? What will people say? You’d even tried to appeal to his pride, suggesting that if you couldn’t fully concentrate on your duties, well, how would that reflect on him?

All that earned you was a glint of a smirk and a tug as he knotted the rope encircling your breasts, making it even tighter than before. His final threat at your continued pleading--”I can always make you go out in nothing but the ropes”--finally shut you up.

And so, here you are. Face hot with shame and something more, silently pleading that your clothing won’t somehow shift and reveal the secret underneath. Despite the layers covering you, you still feel naked, exposed. As if the people indulging in polite conversation can see right through you, see the way your breasts are framed by the itchy ropes. See the way your body is responding to such a total humiliation. 

It’s not just the chafing rope that bothers you. It’s the pressure itself. It feels… no, you don’t want to think about how it feels.

Instead, you hone your focus in on the task at hand. Pouring the tea, a nice subtle blend made with Violetgrass flowers. A previous round of guests from Fontaine had enjoyed it so well that Scaramouche had you tell the teashop to start stocking up for future visits.

You wish you could hide the way your hand trembles ever so slightly as you pour the last cup of tea for a woman whose name you regrettably can’t remember. You normally repeat their names over and over in your head, lest you forget and endure Scaramouche’s sharp tongue (if not his cane) later on; but your predicament made it impossible to keep track of new information.

You might be able to enjoy the tea, enjoy the facsimile of polite conversation weaving its way around the table, if only you weren’t so distracted by the tightness, the chafing, the undeniable fact that--oh Archons above, that all of this was making your nipples humiliatingly hard underneath your clothing.

“Do you agree, wife?”

All eyes glance at you. Whatever Scaramouche just said had clearly be addressed to you, only you were too distracted to notice.

In the moments that you’re left half-gaping, mentally groping to somehow pull his previous words out from the ether, his hand snakes around your waist. You feel his fingers on the outside of the soft fabric, searching until they find their intended target--the knot--and tugging hard to tighten it further.

You gasp, your body lurching upward and forward at the sudden sensation of your breasts being squeezed, and the tea pot you’re still holding drops to the table. Time seems to slow to a thick crawl, and you can see the pot is not cracked, but tipped over, hot tea spilling onto the table underneath with abandon.

The sight of the dark brown stain spreading, trickling underneath saucers and cups, leaves you helpless until you force your shaking hands to grab the pot and set it back up on the table.

“I, I--” you start to stutter something. An apology? An explanation? But the constricting ropes and the dawning realization that you have just committed an extensive social faux pas--in front of guests, no less--leaves you helplessly unable to speak.

The guests, for their part, look suitably uncomfortable. The woman whose name you can’t remember is holding onto her cup, saving it from being intercepted by the trickling tea. You don’t know whether their looks are because of your embarrassing display or because they know your husband’s reputation, and feel pity for you. Perhaps a bit of both.

Scaramouche’s voice cuts through the tension, though it does nothing to lessen it.

“I apologize for my wife’s clumsiness,” he says. “I should have realized that she wasn’t up to the apparently complex task of serving tea.” His voice is dripping with condescension, making more heat rise to your cheeks.

Humiliation does not begin to describe what you feel as he gently--public appearances, you think--takes your arm and stands, bringing you with him.

“Perhaps you are ill.” He looks you up and down, faux-concern written all over his face. But you know what he’s really thinking about, as his eyes linger on your chest for a fraction longer than they should.

You swallow hard, and do your best to nod. It doesn’t take any effort to look ashamed at what’s transpired.

“I--I have been feeling unwell,” you say, making sure to project loud enough for the audience he’s curated for you. “I may be too tired.”

He shakes his head, as if he can’t believe your silliness. A silly, silly wife--that’s what you are. Never mind that it’s all his fault. Never mind that he chose to do this to you, and chose to do it in front of guests. 

A small, bitter part of you resents the guests for being there at all, resents the fact that they probably know you’re an unwilling ornament to the Harbringer’s obsession but do nothing about it.

But what good does resenting them do, when it won’t change your fate?

He takes your hand and gives it a pat, each touch patronizing to the core.

“Apologize to our guests and go rest. And send someone more capable to clean up your mess.”

You have to apologize for the fact that you spilled tea due to his decision to engage in some perverse bondage in a public fashion. You have to apologize for the fact that he deliberately made you do it, too, knowing how you might react when he pulled the rope.

It’s horrible and humiliating and unfair. 

But you do it anyway.

Turning towards the guests, gaze downcast with shame, you force out an apology; keeping your voice soft and melodic and clear, as expected.

Then you retreat as calmly as possible, feeling everyone’s gaze--but especially his--on your back as you leave. You catch the eye of the nearest servant as you make your way back to the bedroom, laying out the quickest version of events and not relishing the look of anxiety that crosses their features at the thought of dealing with Scaramouche after such an apparent social travesty.

But you only have enough energy to consider your own anxieties, so you continue on without thinking more about them.

Walking only seems to make the feeling of constriction worse, and you bite down on your lip as your sensitive nipples begin rubbing against the fabric with every step. It feels good, it feels bad--whatever it is, it’s all too much, and you want nothing more to cut off the ropes and hide until the morning.

Not that you have the courage to risk such an endeavor.

You don’t feel any calmer by the time you reach your shared bedroom, but at least your humiliation is a private one, now. And you can rest, at least until he’s finished for the evening. For a moment, you simply stand still, bringing your arm across your chest and pressing to provide some pressure, some relief, to your sensitive breasts. 

There’s an undeniable twist in your stomach when your arms brush against your nipples, and you hate it, and you love it, and you feel just as sick and perverse as he is when you slide a hand inside your clothing and give one aching nipple a pinch. You rub your legs together and ah, there it is--the pleasurable tingling and beginnings of wetness, and well, why not give yourself some pleasure, you think; why not give yourself something good and pleasant before he comes in and ruins everything with whatever sick punishment he’s concocting? 

It’s not until you make to curl up on the large bed, eager to relive the tension building inside you, that you see the scroll wrapped up on the pillow. With a sense of justifiable dread building in your stomach, you sit, and unfurl it. 

The words are written in Scaramouche’s familiar handwriting:

“Take off your clothes. Lay down and spread your legs on the bed until I return. Don’t touch yourself. I will know if you haven’t followed my instructions.”

Bastard, you think. As if your humiliation today wasn’t strong enough. Your hands go to undue the fastenings keeping your clothes together, and the first hints of bare skin leave you with anticipatory goosebumps. How long would you be expected to be on the bed, presenting yourself for his apparent pleasure? 

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

But--well. At least he didn’t tell you to bend over the caning stool again.

[diavolosthots]

Hey Queen! Beautiful Queen whom I love and adore! <3 It's me! Your bitch! That bitch! I was just thinking like, some wholesome Belphie is very much needed everywhere and for everyone. Like, MC is feeling super cuddly and stuff and they go to Belphie and it's just super fluffy and super cute, and really sweet - @belphies-cuhm-sluht <3

I scrolled until I found your request because I know you need it and I hope you feel better soon, cutie @belphies-cuhm-sluht

Cow Pillow (BELPHEGOR X GN!READER)

It used to be that sleeping your life away felt almost like a sin, like it wasn’t allowed. There was a time for sleeping and there was a time for doing things and out of 24 hours in a day, only eight could be spent resting or you’d feel guilty. Maybe it’s the work drive in you or maybe it’s the feeling of endless guilt that makes you feel like you have to prove yourself by doing things, more things, and definitely things done better than by others. Maybe it’s also because too many people called you lazy throughout your life so you vowed to never be lazy, somewhat neglecting your own self to prove to others that you were worth it. Who cares if you suffered, as long as everyone else was happy with you, right? 

But throughout the years you found loopholes in that. They’re not even loopholes, but to you it makes more sense, and it makes you feel less guilty, rather than outright admitting that you like being lazy. These loopholes range from things like “I have spring allergies so I need some more rest…” to “well, it’s technically not due until the 25th…” to “People deserve love and affection and cuddling is my preferred type. It’s necessary to be loved in order to function.” All of these are valid all on their own, and yes, all of them are considered valid reasons, but it still makes you feel guilty admitting that, so you call them loopholes. Life’s loopholes to make you feel a little less shitty about something that’s, in all actuality, completely normal. 

Today’s ‘loophole’ however, was actually something new to you, kind of. It was rainy and storming; the perfect weather to kick back and just relax. Maybe read a book so you couldn’t call yourself completely lazy. After all, reading does challenge the brain and as long as you’re stimulating some part of yourself, whether that be mental or physical, it’s okay, right? It totally counts. But you also had someone with you that’s… the complete opposite of you and he lured you in. He lures you into the deep depths of laziness that you’re unsure you’ll ever be able to get out of once you’re in them. It’s almost creepy how he does it, too, without even lifting a finger. Without a worry in his mind. Without… trying. 

Belphegor didn’t care what people thought and somewhere, you admired him for that. He made it seem so easy. So what, he sleeps for 36 hours straight and no one bats an eye. If they do, he just avoids them. He doesn’t even pretend to give them the time of day and he’s explained it to you many times before. “Why would I worry about people I will never have to deal with, ever? Now that’s tiresome.” and it made sense. It would be tiresome to constantly think about how other people view you, don’t you think? Belphegor himself is hated by some, neutral for many, and loved by few, but he doesn’t care. The few people that love him, love him a whole lot and that’s all it takes for him. Maybe it’s also easier for him because that’s his avatar. Maybe. He does wonder how you do worry so much, though, because to him, that is crazy. 

He actually made it a point to influence you as much as he can just because you’re almost as bad as Lucifer when it comes to getting stuff done and besides the fact that it’s, in his eyes, annoying, he also doesn’t want someone as interesting as you to end up with Lucifer. What’s that supposed to be? Wanna-be dad and step-parent? The last thing he needs is for the person he’s interested in to call him son. No thank you. Anyway, he made it a point to enter your dreams and drag them out a little bit (a lot) longer than they’d usually have. The small “oh my God I slept through my alarm!” that he heard the first few times had him laughing, but also thinking about how adorable it is. “You worry too much…” is what he’d mumble in his own sleepy voice. 

Now it’s gotten to a point where he openly talks to you in your dreams and you willingly drag things out with him, but when you try to do the same in the actual world? He pretends to be asleep. Not because he doesn’t like talking to you, but he just feels more comfortable when he’s somewhat in control and can remove himself from the situation if need be, you know? That’s why he keeps his distance. He did openly admit that to you, though, and that’s fine. At least you know where he stands and that he doesn’t hate you. However, today you just… you just can’t wait until you fall asleep and until he enters your mind. It’s raining outside and you feel somewhat lonely. You’re in need of company and he’s your favorite type of company, even if you mainly hang out together in your mind. So today, you decided to just go into his room and join him. The worst he can do is say no, right? 

But he didn’t even do that. As a matter of fact, he didn’t even realize you entered until you stood in front of him and in all honesty, he didn’t even fully register that either. It’s more like… he realizes he’s not alone but he’s also not awake and he definitely doesn’t care enough to open his eyes. “Hm?” You were already whispering his name, explaining awkwardly that you just needed to cuddle. “Cuddle…” he just repeated the last word, rolling over onto his back and for a moment you feared he didn’t even recognize a thing you just said. “Okay… come here then.” “Hm? Are you sure? I can leave again Belphie…” Maybe you should take this day to do something productive? Everyone else will already be lazy so one person should do something, right? 

“Yes, come here. Lay down so I can lay on you.” He’s still not opening his eyes, only scooting back for you to join him on his bed and then waiting. You can either join or leave again and he doesn’t really care which option you choose. Except he does. He just won’t admit it if you choose wrong. “O...okay… yeah. I’m already here.” And you really, really would like to cuddle with him, after all. You laid down beside him, carefully, trying to respect his boundaries but also trying to remember that he did want to lay on you so should You lay on your back? “Oh… oh yeah okay this is fine.” You couldn’t even ask him because the minute he felt the bed dip, he moved back closer to you and curled into your side, placing his head on your chest and wrapping his arm around you. 

“Is this okay? Belphie?” He only hummed in response, nuzzling into you, and you carefully wrapped your arms around him too. It felt nice. Really nice, and you found yourself relaxing almost immediately, although you did blame it on Belphie more than anything. He does have that calming effect on people after all. “You’re better than the pillow, but…” You looked down at his head confused until you felt him shift, his face buried deep in your chest now while he tried to keep his horns away from poking you. His tail swayed behind him for a second before wrapping around your waist right beside his arms. “That’s better…” you looked at him, poking his horn for a moment before laughing. How is this better? How is this comfortable? Can he breathe? He must be breathing otherwise he wouldn’t lay like this, right? 

“You worry too much…” “What?” How did he know? You weren’t even asleep yet. He chuckled, lifting his head a bit and smiling at you, eyes still closed. “I don’t need you to be asleep in order to be inside your head… stop worrying so much. I know you want this.” He put his head back down right after, his whole body relaxing against yours and for a moment you wondered if this actually happened. “Belphie… I just…!” “Yeah I know. You want this but you worry about not doing enough. Just shut up already, okay? You, of all people, deserve to relax and what better way to relax than with me? Just ssshh… go to sleep. I won’t let you leave until I decide that you have rested enough.” And by that he means… you’re stuck with him on top of you until the next day has come and he’s thoroughly convinced you took some time for yourself. 

“You’re so silly, Belphie…” But it also felt really, really nice to have someone that seemed to care so much. And he does. He cares a lot. And he wishes you’d be more like him, in a sense, but then again… he’d just keep you with him at all times and make you his new cow pillow. It’s not like that’s going to be an issue, though, right? 

[seiyasabi]

The Scientist

(Hange (Hanji) can rearrange by guts tbh :P Lol, anyways, this is a Yandere Hanji x Female Reader story! It takes place in current time tho (same universe as Yelena). Also, idgaf how tall the creator says Hanji is. In this fic, even the tall girlies get to be shorter than Hanji. 

TW: kidnapping!, !drugging!, unwanted advances, stalking!, etc! 

Please proceed with caution! Also, I’m sorry if you can tell that this was in my drafts for a hot min. I started to write this when I first started this blog, and I just finished/revised it lol. ) 

“Hey, (Nickname!” Hearing the loud shout of a certain brunet, you jump about a foot in the air. As usual, Hanji decides to surprise you whilst you’re in the middle of something. 

Pulling away from the microscope you’re currently looking at, you put on a strained smile, “Yes?” 

Their one eye sparkles in a hopeful fashion from behind their glasses, one of her their fiddling with their eyepatch, “Sooo,” They draw out the o, seemingly trying to disarm you, “Are you free this weekend? There’s this suuuuper cool bar that’s just opening, and me and the others are thinking about going! It’s totally not a date or anything,” They pause to let out a loud laugh, “I think it’ll be fun! What D'ya say?” 

Forcing out a chuckle, you shake your head, “Ah, I’m sorry, Hanji, but I’m busy this weekend. I have a lot of samples I need to process for that upcoming court case,” You chew your bottom lip nervously, “I’m sorry. I hope you and the others have a good time, though!” 

A new voice is heard, butting into your conversation, “I can do those! I’ve been needing more hours, anyways,” Whipping your head in the direction of the voice, you silently curse. Fuck Armin for being so helpful! 

Hanji beams even brighter than before, clapping their hands together happily, “See! Armin can do that for you!” They lean in closer to you, their lab coat brushing against yours, “Come on, (Nickname), I’d be reaaaaally happy if you go!” 

An uneasy feeling pools in your gut, as an anxious sweat begins to bead at your brow, “I-uhm-I suppose I can go for an hour or two.”

“Great!” They grab your hands in theirs, squeezing them in a friendly manner, “The bar is called ‘Titan’s Wrath,’ and we’re meeting at eight on Saturday!” Releasing you, they pat you on the back, “See you later!” They run off, most likely back to the dry lab. 

After a moment of silence, you slowly turn towards the short haired blond man, “Armin, I’m going to kill you.”

He blanches at your blunt tone, flushing a bright red, “Wha-what?” 

You grit your teeth, tears starting to bead your eyes in frustration, “They’re the person I was telling you about! Hanji constantly harasses me, and you practically just tossed me into their arms! Why would you do that?” 

A look of pure terror and remorse appears of his face, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t realise that they were the person-oh my God, I’m so stupid. I-I really didn’t know! I’m so, so sorry!” You let out a quivering breath, hands clenched into fists to calm you down. 

“It-it’s alright. I never really told you who they were. Just never do that again, okay? If you need more hours, just tell me, and I’ll see what I can do,” The younger man sighs in relief, shoulders deflating. 

“I promise to never do that again!” You nod, blinking away your unshed tears, and smile at him. 

“Okay, then we don’t have any problems,” You laugh lightly, shaking your head, “Who would’ve thought our newest intern was the dry lab’s wing man?” He panics again, making you cackle good-naturedly, “Now, can you please grab the dilluter? I forgot to grab it from the fridge.”

-

Hanji, being the ever cheerful person that they are, set their sights on you the moment you were hired. 

But, if they came out with their feelings immediately, you’d just assume that they wanted to take advantage of you. 

So, they watched you. Writing down your likes and dislikes, your quirks, everything. Through their ‘research,’ they came to realise that you’re very good at your job. The wet-lab should be lucky that they have you… but they never give you the recognition you deserve! 

They bombard you with assignments, become upset when you don’t finish them in seconds (which is so unreasonable!), and hardly give you any time off! 

You don’t seem to mind, being the good girl you are, but Hanji sure does! 

So, they’d seek out the top graduates from the college nearby, and help them become employed at the lab. The newbies really helped get the load off of your shoulders, and once done, they decided to swoop in now that you had a decent amount of free time. 

It started at the vending machine- they’d asked you if you wanted to get coffee with them sometime. You said no, probably because you felt it wasn’t professional. After all, rumours would spread like wildfire if you went out with the lead lab tech of the dry lab! 

So, everytime they knew you had a weekend off, they’d approach you with new places to try. 

Be it a movie, a store, a concert- it didn’t matter. They just desperately wanted to have some time with you! 

But, you reacted the complete opposite of how you were supposed to. 

You’d pick up as many shifts as possible, most times going into over time, just to avoid the flamboyant lead. Whenever you saw them in the hall or by the break room, you’d turn in the complete opposite direction. If wet-lab needed to correspond with the dry-lab, you’d send your most qualified coworker to do so. 

It was saddening, to be honest. They love you so much, yet you refuse to even face them. 

But, thanks to that Armin kid, their plans can finally bloom into fruition. For once, you can’t escape the brunet’s advances! 

Because of that, Hanji made a note to the owner of the lab that Armin would make a good contribution to the lab after he gets all of his qualifications. 

-

Saturday night comes far too soon. 

Dressed in black skinny jeans and a cropped, white long sleeve, you stand in front of ‘Titans Wrath.’ Scoffing at how the bar sounds like a metal band, you make your way inside. 

Grabbing the door handle, you yank it open, immediately hearing loud rock music. Mentally patting yourself on the back for your observation, you step inside of the cool building. 

Looking inside, you see a large, double sided bar in the middle of the room, a stage and standing area just behind it. There are a few pool tables in the front area where you’re standing, along with double doors leading to a hidden kitchen. 

There’s also a lot of people inside. You can’t see Hanji or their friends, but seeing a band setting up on the stage tells you that they’re probably on the other side of the bar. 

Walking over to the steps leading down into the stage area, you try to ignore the leers of a few men around you. Maybe you shouldn’t have worn clothes that accentuate your beautiful figure. Peering around the corner, you see the scientist and their friends, an empty seat in between them and a large blond man, that you vaguely recall being the police chief of your city. 

Strolling towards them halfheartedly, you give yourself a small peptalk inside of your mind. Sure, Hanji has always been touchy-feely with you, sure, they’ve asked you out about one hundred times, sure, you run into them every time you leave the house, sure- 

“(Nickname)! You actually came!” The brunet’s voice is loud, loud enough to cut through the loud music and equally loud chatter. Forcing a smile onto your face, you give a small wave, suddenly uncomfortable with the line of strangers at the bar suddenly looking at you. 

“Yes, hello, Hanji,” When you’re close enough, you’re thrown into a tight embrace, their body practically molding into your own. They’re about a head taller than you, making it so your head is practically forced against their protruding collarbones. Hesitating slightly, you give them a soft pat on the back, trying to escape their suffocating embrace. 

“I’m so glad you came!” They release you just as suddenly as they grabbed you, putting a hand on the small of your back, and practically forcing you in between the blond man and themself, “(Nickname), this is Erwin. Erwin, this is (First Name).”

His blue eyes rake over your appearance, recognition appearing on his face, “It’s nice to see you again, Ms. (Last Name), especially under better circumstances.” 

You nod, thinking back on some high profile cases you met with him for, “Yes, it’s nice to see you again, Mr. Smith.” 

A loud scoff is heard from beside Erwin, the head of a short, dark haired man peeks around the broad chested man, “It’s about time you brought a respectful brat,” You have to stop yourself from flinching at his harsh tone, “I am Levi,” Opening your mouth to introduce yourself, he holds up a hand, halting you, “There’s no need for introductions, Shitty-glasses has gushed about the ‘pretty wet-lab scientist’ for months now.” 

“Oh, alright. It’s nice to meet you,” His lifts his whiskey on rocks in acknowledgement, before downing it with one swig. 

“Likewise,” After that, he turns towards a light brown haired woman, her high pitched voice is heard from where you’re sitting. 

“I’m sorry about that. The detective is very… unsociable.” 

“It’s alright, Mr. Smith. He kind of reminds me of one of my interns, Annie,” You say with a small smile, before your swiveling bar stool is forced around so you’re facing Hanji. 

“Sooo, you like the bar so far?” Their smile is somewhat pleading, and you can’t help but just go along with them. 

“Yes, this place is, um, cool. Very interesting choice,” They clasp their hands together with a pleased expression, as they somehow move closer to you than they already are. At this point, you’re worried that they’ll fall off their stool. 

“Right? Our residential emo boy found it, and we’ve been hooked ever since,” A loud ‘Shut up, Shitty-glasses,’ is heard from behind you, making the brunet laugh, “Let me order you a drink! I think there’s something that you’ll really like!” 

Opening your mouth to reject, it was seemingly too late, because the brunet has already waved over a punk-ed out bartender. You didn’t really hear what the drink is called, but the man sets to work immediately. 

It barely takes a minute for it to be finished, and the purple drink is suddenly in front of your motionless form. Looking up, the purple haired man winks at you, before turning his attention back to a speaking Hanji. 

“Anything she orders, put it on my tab,” He nods, before walking off to service another customer. 

Turning your attention back to Hanji, you try to persuade them to let you pay, “Thanks, Hanji, but it’s alright. I can pay for my own drinks-”

“Don’t worry about it; I asked you out, remember? And it’s the least I can do for harassing you for the past few months,” Startled by their uncharacteristically somber words, you nod in understanding. 

“Alright. Thank you,” They nod, before motioning towards your drink. 

“Try it! I’m sure you’ll like it!” Grabbing the cool glass cup, you bring it up to your lips, and take a small sip. It’s amazing. It tastes like (favourite flavour), and it goes down smooth. 

“You’re right, this is delicious!” They grin brightly, clapping their hands together in glee. 

“Great!” They motion towards the stage with their head, “The show’s about to start! Are you ready for a kickass night?” You laugh at their vigour, and nod. 

“You bet!” 

Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all. 

-

You spoke too soon. 

It seems like you’ve drank too much, because you’re now feeling dizzy. Throughout the set, you’d ordered about five more drinks, and they seemingly hit you all at once. 

Hanji, who’s been watching you since your fourth drink, feigns shock at your unstable form. That Rohypnol they grabbed from work works quite well! Now they can see why it’s the choice drug for those awful, awful people. 

“Whoa there, (Nickname), it seems you’ve had too much to drink!” Hanji jokes, hands holding you steady on your bar stool. The only person from your group still at the bar is Erwin, but he knows they have it under control. As chief of police, he feels a bit of remorse, but he knows it's for the best. Hanji will take care of you, because, after all, you’re their only true obsession. 

“Wha-huh? Was’ happenin?” Hanji can all but coo at how cute you are. 

“Don’t worry, cutie. I’ll get you home safe,” Helping you to your boot clad feet, they send a knowing look to Erwin, who smiles in return. Wrapping an arm around your waist, they help you stumble out of the bar, and walk towards their car. Once at the passenger side, the brunet unlocks the door, and assists you inside. You flop onto their leather interior, eyes unfocused, and body movements random. Chuckling to themself, they buckle you in, not before pulling on gloves, and taking your phone, keys, and wallet off of you. 

Taking these items, they empty your wallet of its cash, and chuck everything into a nearby bush. Knowing that the cameras outside the building and the buildings surrounding the place are off, they feel at ease. If anything, they feel like your knight in shining armour. If they hadn’t taken you, someone else would’ve-you’re just too cute. 

Closing your door, and rounding the car, they slide into the driver’s side, before starting the car. Buckling themself in, they look at your out-of-it form, and smile. 

[vagabondreamer]

After the Fall (1)

Pairing: Lucifer x Angel! Fem! MC

Word Count: 2.5k

Series Summary: Angel! Fem! MC is part of an exchange program that sends her to the Devildom for a year.

Chapter Summary: MC has a rude awakening when Michael orders her to go to the Devildom. Some pleasant and unpleasant first impressions of the brothers.

Author's Note: My story will follow some events from the Obey Me! game, but will deviate since MC is an angel.

***

You march into Michael’s office unannounced, a small letter in your grasp.

“Michael, what is this?” You hold up the paper to show him.

“MC, it’s rude to enter without knocking,” he scolds you. “It’s an exchange program. You’ve been chosen along with two other angels to go to Devildom.”

“Yeah, I can read that! Why do I have to go?” Michael sighs and meets your upset gaze.

“It’s to improve relations. And as Lucifer’s replacement it’s your duty to engage in these politics.” Michael places his hand on your shoulder in a friendly manner. “I know it’s been tough, and I know you’re still learning, but you will go.” His tone changes, much more serious this time.

“Yes sir.” You turn to leave his office.

“Oh and MC? Check up on Lucifer for me.”

“Yes sir.”

You left his office, and started towards your home. There was so much to do, but so little time; Michael must’ve sprung this up on you so you wouldn’t get much of a say. You looked down at the letter to see who the other angels were: Simeon and Luke. Simeon was a familiar name, you never got to meet him, but you knew he was close to Michael. Luke, on the other hand, you had no idea who he was. There were thousands of angels in the Celestial Realm so that wasn’t too surprising.

You packed your essentials, and said your goodbyes to close friends. Michael said he’d take care of your duties - which worried you. Were you not doing a good enough job? Was he going to replace you? Shaking your head, you told yourself not to worry. You only had to get through one year; and one year was nothing compared to the lifetime you lived.

One year in the Devildom.

One year with Lucifer.

***

It was early morning, the sky was bright and the air was fresh. Rolling to your side, you saw your luggage sitting next to the door. You jolted up.

“I thought that was a bad dream.” Rubbing your temple, you get out of bed and quickly get ready. There wasn’t a time written on the letter, but it was safe to assume you were already late. You rushed to the gates, and saw the other two other angels.

“I can’t believe we’re getting sent to the Devildom! There’s demons there!” The small boy complained.

“Well, demons need a home, too,” the other one teased.

Michael was also there.

“Ah, MC, you’re late.”

“I’m sorry. I -”

“This is Simeon and Luke, you should get to know them,” he interrupted you.

You shook their hands and introduced yourself. Never having met either angel, you were surprised with their looks. Simeon was absolutely gorgeous - formed by God himself. Luke, well, he was much younger than you anticipated; he must’ve only been a thousand years old - if that.

“Alright, it’s time to go. Be on your best behavior, you three represent the Celestial Realm.”

Everyone nods, and heads into the portal, one by one. You look back, saying a temporary goodbye to your beloved home.

Stepping out of the portal, the first thing you notice is how dark the environment is. The second thing you notice is that you’re in a large council room with a group of young men.

“Welcome to the Devildom,” a handsome man with red hair says. “I’m Lord Diavolo.”

You nod, giving a small smile, your stomach is doing flips.

“This is Lucifer -” Lord Diavolo continues his speech, but at the mention of Lucifer you tune out. Your eyes travel up and down him, trying to engrain his image to your brain. Never had you met him, only hearing the stories about him and his brothers. He looked mean.

“MC?” Lord Diavolo calls out again.

“Ah, yes?” Your cheeks light up, he kindly chuckles at your embarrassment.

“I was asking about what you do back home?”

“I-I’m a seraph.”

“You look young to be a seraph,” Lucifer responds boredly. Holding back the urge to roll your eyes, you cross your arms.

“I was created right after the war. In fact, I’ll be promoted to an Archangel after my training.”

Lucifer scoffs at this.

“You really think Michael would make you an Archangel?”

“I am your replacement, after all.”

He didn’t have a comeback for that, and by the look on Lord Diavolo’s face, he was not to continue quarreling. You meet the rest of the brothers: Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, and Beel. Perhaps your memory was jumbled up when you walked through the portal - you swore there was another brother. They have interesting personalities to say the least, you were glad you didn’t need to interact with them that much.

“Lord Diavolo, where will we be staying?” You assumed you three angels would be lodged together - oh how you assumed wrong.

“Right, well, there’s another exchange student - he’s a human. He’s requested to stay with angels so that he can learn more about them.”

“Okay, that’s no problem.”

“The problem is Purgatory Hall only has three rooms. And I’ve been told that Simeon is Luke’s guardian. I doubt you’ll want to share a room with another man, so the only other option is the House of Lamentation.”

“House of Lamentation?”

“It’s where we reside,” Satan speaks up. “Oh and it’s haunted.” Was he trying to scare you?

“It ain’t haunted! Stop talkin’ like that before you invite spirits in!” Squeals Mammon.

“Both of you, enough.” Lucifer grabs Mammon by the collar. “You’re going to look after her, and make sure nothing happens to her, do you understand me?” Mammon mumbles complaints but is otherwise compliant.

“I don’t need a babysitter. I can protect myself.”

“You’ve never met a demon until today, you will be escorted for your duration here.” You disliked his smuggish tone. He thought he was better than you. A smart retort would have come out of your mouth had it not been for Simeon.

“MC, I’m going to take Luke to the Purgatory hall, I’ll see you later.”

“It was nice meeting you both.” You say your goodbyes and follow Mammon. The walk to the House of Lamentation was full of fussing coming from your demon counterpart.

“I can’t believe I’m stuck babysitting a dumb angel.”

“I’m not exactly thrilled about it either.” You mumbled. “In fact, there really is no reason for you to watch over me. After all, I am a powerful angel. Simeon doesn’t need a babysitter so I shouldn’t either.”

“That’s right! I just need to show you how to get around, but you can totally take care of yourself. Huh, you are smarter than you look.” He’s one to talk.

Mammon showed you around the town real quick and then led you to the House of Lamentation. You had gotten quite a few stares, your outfit made you stick out like a sore thumb. Your body was adorn with a flowy white dress with gold accents, and a gradient teal cape draped over your shoulders. You made a mental note to go shopping for clothes as soon as you could.

“Alright, this is it.” You entered through the front door - the house was grand, it was more like a mansion. Mammon led you to your room, said ‘see ya’, and left just as quick.

Sighing, you sit on your bed. The covers were pink, you wondered who was the last occupant. The day had barely started and you already felt overwhelmed. Had it been up to you, you would’ve just stayed in your room and avoided the brothers all together. But a single knock at your door ruined those plans. Getting up, you reached for the door knob and opened the door. In front of you was a giant - his name was Beel, right? You were having trouble keeping track.

“Hi, MC. I was wondering if you were hungry.” At that moment, your stomach started to growl. That’s right, you were in such a rush this morning that you didn’t get to eat. In response, Beel’s stomach growled right back. A small blush covered his cheeks. “Want to go get lunch?”

“Sure.” You followed Beel not knowing where he was taking you; he went on and on about Hell’s Kitchen and how delicious their food was, so it was safe to assume you were headed there.

The restaurant was fairly busy, and you could’ve swore you heard the staff groan when you both sat down.

“Do you come here often?” You cringed at yourself - that sounded like an awful pick up line. He didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh yeah, I know the menu by heart. And when they come up with new stuff, I’m always first in line.”

A waitress came by to take your orders. Beel ordered the whole menu and then some, the waitress then looked at you; you weren’t sure what to pick, so you guessed and hoped it would taste good.

“So, tell me about yourself Beel.” You placed your chin in your hand, giving him your undivided attention.

“Myself?” He ponders for a moment. “I’m the Avatar of Gluttony.” You nod, encouraging him to continue. “I’m the sixth-born. And...I have a twin brother.”

“Twin? Which one?”

“Belphie...you haven’t met him.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, so there was another brother.

“Where is he?” Beel adjusted in his seat and avoided your eye contact.

“I can’t say. Just don’t mention it to Lucifer, he’ll get really mad.” You decided to drop the topic, and just in time the food was being brought out.

***

The plan was to avoid the brothers, but after hanging out with Beel you decided he could be an exception. When you got back to the house everyone was actually there this time. As you walked back to your room, another demon stopped you - this time, Asmo.

“Ahh! You look so gorgeous! You must tell me your skincare routine right now!” He practically drags you to his room, not giving you a chance to protest. He sits you down at his vanity, poking and prodding at your cheeks. “You’re not wearing any makeup?” He gasps.

“No, Michael doesn’t really allow it. He says being too vain is a...sin…” You shut yourself up, quickly realizing you’re in front of the reason Michael says that. Asmo laughs.

“Well, Michael can’t tell you what to do down here. Please let me do your makeup!” Asmo has a good point - Michael wasn’t down here, and a little makeup wouldn’t be as sinful as he says.

“Okay, sure!”

Asmo worked on your face for about an hour and a half - to say he was a perfectionist felt like an understatement. You weren’t even allowed to look at your face until he was done; right then and there, you promised yourself to never let Asmo do your makeup ever again.

“Ta-da! I’m all done.” Asmo spun you around so you could look in the mirror. To say you looked beautiful was also an understatement.

“Wow…” You didn’t know what to say; your skin was flawless, your eye color popped, and your lips looked kissable.

“You look absolutely radiant.” For a moment you forgot where you were and you forgot who you were with, but you engulfed Asmo in a big hug - making sure not to ruin your makeup. “You’re welcome!”

“Would you want to go shopping one of these days? I really should get new clothes.” Asmo’s face lit up at the mention of shopping.

“Of course, darling! But what’s wrong with what you’re wearing now? I absolutely miss wearing my angel garbs.”

“It just grabs a lot of attention.” You hold up a hand to stop Asmo from interrupting. “I know what you’re going to say, attention isn’t always a bad thing. But, I just don’t want a bunch of demons to know I’m an angel.”

“Well the problem isn’t your clothes, MC.”

“What do you mean?”

“You literally radiate purity. All angels do. You can be dressed like a whore and they’d still know you’re an angel.”

“Oh, I suppose you have a point.”

“We can definitely still go shopping though!” You nod in agreement.

“That’s great! Well, I should probably go look for Lucifer and actually discuss what my day-to-day routine will look like.”

You gave Asmo a goodbye hug. Beel and Asmo would be the only two boys you don’t avoid - at least, you kept telling yourself that.

***

Walking around the house, you looked for Lucifer’s office. Michael always complimented Lucifer’s work habits - something you lacked in comparison. Now, you definitely weren’t lazy and your tasks were always completed, but because of Michael everything felt like a competition with someone who wasn’t even competing anymore.

You saw a door slightly cracked and peered in. Just your luck, it was Lucifer’s office. Barging in without knocking first, you find him at his desk full of papers.

“Hey, Lucifer, I’ve got a couple of questions about my time here.” You ask as you get a little too comfortable in one of his chairs.

“Do they not teach manners in the Celestial Realm anymore?” You recalled Michael always nagging about you barging in unwelcomed. Old habits do die hard.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” You sit up straight, feeling like you’re about to be scolded. Instead, Lucifer sighs and puts down his pen.

“What kind of questions?”

“Well, what am I going to be doing?”

“You’ll be attending RAD, just like the rest of us. You’ll learn the history of Devildom, law, potions, just like any other school.”

“School?” Your body slumped in disappointment; you had graduated and become a seraph what felt like only a few years ago, you really had no interest in RAD whatsoever. “What about meetings with Lord Diavolo?”

“What about them?”

“I was sent for relations, not academics.” Getting up from your seat, you move to stand in front of his desk.

“This is an exchange program. You’ll go to school and when Lord Diavolo sends for you, I will personally tell you.” He picks his pen back up and continues his work.

“Michael said I was here to talk politics.”

“I’m sure he did say that.”

“Then why are you treating me like a child?”

“Because you’re acting like one.” You scoff at his response. “Honestly, I can’t believe they created someone like you to take my place.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Childish, impatient, insecure, self-important, oh and you have no manners. You’re nothing like me.” Your hands balled into fists in anger.

“News flash, Lucifer, there’s a reason I’m not you. They don’t want another...incident.”

The pen he was holding snapped into two pieces. Maybe it was the way you said it, or perhaps that you were a reminder of his worst memories, but Lucifer subconsciously turned into his demon form. In retaliation, you turned into your angel form. You only had two wings, compared to his four - another way you were inferior to him.

“Get out.” You stood there, processing what was happening. “NOW.”

[tomthesoftie]

let them flow

❧ synopsis: after the collapsing of an unhealthy relationship, each side begins to improve and thrive, one for the other, one for themselves. coincidentally, they meet at the same dreaded party that led to the breaking of their relationship. will this unfortunate series of events lead them to opportunity?

❧ pairing: jock!tom x fem!reader

❧ genre: fluff

❧ warnings: mild angst, fluffy-ish ending, exes to friends to lovers, one or two curse words, lil bit of crying, mentions of alcohol

❧ a/n: it’s finally over. thank goodness. this also is so long it can be considered a second part fuck. i know i took a whole month to write this, but i barely have free time to write nowadays and the times i do, i don’t have much inspiration. anyways this came out better than i expected so hope you guys enjoy.

in order to understand this ending, please read this first: her hidden crystal tears 

masterlist                     prompt list                     add yourself on my taglist!

In the first month you spent broken up with Tom, you, for once, felt at peace, with no burden of hiding relationships and denying feelings. You had forgotten how free living singly was. Within that month, you were able to reshape your life. Your grades began to improve, and your mental health had phenomenally developed for he better. Your friends had even gone out of their ways to help you with a "glow up."

Tom, on the other hand, had tried to shape him into a better person in hopes of salvaging your crumbling, if you could even call it that, relationship. He worked harder in class, and every time he saw you sitting in the lecture hall, you were surrounded by other classmates, giving him no place to fit in. He also started to distance himself from his old group of friends, looking for a better, influential group.

Tom couldn't help but feel a tug at his heart when he saw you walking with one other friend to class, laughing at something they said. He saw how your under eye-bags turned bright and how you shoulders straightened up after the breakup. It broke his heart to know the negative impact he had on you, which you never complained or spoke out about.

The brunette wanted to improve for you and himself.

How you ended up in a pair of high-waisted, black, denim shorts and a black bandeau with a sheer, cropped, long-sleeved shirt overtop you didn't know. After much begging and bothering, your friend had convinced you to go to the afterparty of the football game. You tried your best to deny their attempts but failed when they baited you with money.

This would be your first time attending a party, for you were always driven home and away from them. You couldn't deny, though, the chills that snaked down your spine at the mention of it.

Stepping into the house, you noticed how similar it looked to a fraternity. People were dancing, pushing their bodies against others and grinding their hips onto drunk partners. Other students were playing beer pong, stripping on tables, or resting on couches with a red, plastic cup in their hands. It smelled terribly of sweat and oversaturated body spray, making you gag on your breath.

"How do so many people like this?" You shouted over the pounding music and loud voices.

"How do you not?" You friend giggled, dragging you through the crowd.

Dodging and pushing people off of you, you gripped your friend's hand tightly, afraid of losing them.

"Where are we going?" You asked, eyes darting all over the place in uncertainty.

"Before we party, we've got to get drinks," they pushed the door of the kitchen open, revealing the alcohol infested space.

Scrambling over to the bulky cooler, they grabbed a can of beer, popping it open and downing it.

Flinching in disgust, you commented, "Don't you want to wash that, first?"

"What d'you mean? It looks perfectly clean to me," they shrugged, throwing you a can.

You clumsily captured the condensated drink, before putting it on the counter behind you, "I don't drink."

They groaned, "Why are you such a doormat? Come on," they nudged your shoulder, "Live a little."

You laughed, "I can "live a little" just fine with water."

"Ugh, fine. I'm guessing you also want to sit in a corner and become a hermit," they spoke, sarcastically.

"Actually," your eyes lit up, "I do."

"You," they pointed at you unsteadily, "annoy me, but since I already brought you along," their finger moved to point at an idle seat in the corner of a calmer room, "There."

You nodded, eyeing the isolated spot with glee. However, before your friend could escape into the crowd, you told them to stay safe and slipped away to occupy said seat. 

Although Tom no longer associated himself with his old group of friends, he couldn’t avoid them forever, as they were his teammates. Also, as the captain of the football team, it was practically an obligation for him to attend the after parties. 

Honestly, ever since you had broken up with Tom, he had developed a small fear of being whisked away by his fangirls and teammates, constantly thinking you were waiting in his car for him. His guilt had piled on top of his conscious, leaving him an insecure wreck.

Nevertheless, he stepped into the filled building, nodding and waving at familiar faces. One face he wasn’t expecting to see sat in the corner of the room was yours. 

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, he murmured to himself, “She’s not there, you idiot.”

“Tom, buddy,” a familiar voice hollered.

Through your peripheral vision, you swore that you saw his chocolate curls, but when you looked up from your phone, he had disappeared. Your eyes began to dart through the crowd of people, looking for the man you supposedly had gotten over.

Quickly realizing your mistake, you shunned yourself for willingly wrapping yourself around his little finger. You returned to scrolling through your phone, distracting yourself with the illuminated screen.

Tom watched as his teammate, and former friend, grabbed at a girl swaying her hips, pushing her ass against his friend’s crotch, into a grind. Suddenly feeling highly uncomfortable where he stood, he moved into the kitchen to grab a drink.

The room let in muffled sounds but ultimately was the quietest room in the building. The white LED lights left the room bright and easy to navigate, albeit the clusters of finished drinks and used cups littered on the counters and in the sink and overflowing out of the trashcan. 

The brunette drifted over to the fridge, locating the fresh water bottles hidden from other partygoers. 

Feeling quenched, you stood up from your seat, unwillingly. You looked for a quick and precise path to the kitchen, though you failed to do so. Deciding to extemporize it, you awkwardly squished your way through the crowd, mumbling “excuse me” and “sorry” periodically. 

Pushing the white-paint clad, wooden door open, you stumbled your way into the room, glaring at the sudden brightness engulfing your vision. 

Hearing the music and sound of people cheering grow louder, Tom turned around to see the oh-so familiar girl he had fallen infatuated with many months ago.

You stood, blinking your eyes as they tried to adapt to the sudden change of lighting. Groaning, your hands began massaging and harassing the poor skin of your eyelids. 

Your unnoticed ex, still stood in front of the fridge with a cool bottle of water in his hand, smiled at your adorable behaviour — widely contrasting your provocative outfit — watching as your cheeks puffed out in frustration. 

Feeling the haze leave your eyes, you looked ahead of you to see a silhouette emerging. Embarrassed, you blushed, looking down at your shoes. 

You felt a cool presence resting beside your cheek, and quickly looked at the item.

Water? You thought, confused.

Eyes trailing up the arm holding the bottle, your met with the sight of your former boyfriend smiling at you.

“Tom,” you breathed.

After avoiding and ignoring the boy for so many weeks, you already had forgotten how sweet he looked with a smile and soft blush grazing his cheeks. Maybe you hadn’t forgotten; you were just rarely, if ever, given the opportunity to admire it.

“Hey,” he responded, shyly rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. 

You glanced at the bottle then back to Tom, silently asking what he was doing with it.

“O-Oh, I just thought you’d want a bottle of water, since you don’t drink, but if you do now, that’s totally cool too,” he rambled nervously, like a little boy talking to his crush on the playground. 

Although you had only broken up with him a bit over a month ago, you couldn’t bring yourself to trust taking the drink from him.

“Thanks, but I can get one myself. I’m sure you wanted to drink that too.” 

You gave him an awkward, tight-lipped smile before walking past him to the fridge. Reaching into the cool container, you pulled out a frosted water bottle. 

The situation was strange. Everything felt so familiar but so different. It didn’t feel right to talk to each other like you knew how they slept in bed at night or how they loved warm cuddles on the couch as they binged shows and movies. 

“Look, Y/N,” Tom spoke up, breaking the tension with a breath, “I know that I was a jerk we were together. I also know that I neglected you. I shouldn’t have cared about what everyone else thought about our relationship. 

“Looking back, I understand why you were so frustrated with me, and you had every right to break up with me. I was a wuss that used protecting you as an excuse to keep you under covers. I reveled in the popularity and attention I got, back then.

“I’m different, now, though. I’m not saying you have to take me back. You don’t even have to consider it. All I want to do, right here, right now, is to apologize to you, so, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the anguish and sadness I caused. I’m sorry you had to waste your tears on me. I’m so fucking sorry, and if I have the slightest chance to even be your friend again, please let me take it.”

You felt a churning in your core, and tears prickled the corner of your eyes. You didn’t understand where your emotions arose from. You thought that you had moved on from Tom. You thought you had left him behind, left him in the shadows of your life. 

You turned around, hand reaching up to quickly wipe your tears away. That is, until a calloused hand grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t,” the accented voice choked, “It hurts me as much as it does you.”

Your words were caught in your throat. You tried to say something, anything, but nothing but sobs slipped your lips. 

Everything became a blur. You could only feel warmth enveloping you. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, darling,” Tom murmured into your hair. 

After the encounter at the party, you and Tom went on with your life as normal. 

Although, nothing that happened that night could be considered normal. You cried while he held you tightly in his arms. He apologized for his faults and asked for a second chance, as a friend or more. You forgave him and gave him the chance. 

Will you ever want to have the same relationship you had with Tom as before? No.

You and Tom are working on building a better, healthier relationship for the both of you: an open and honest relationship that won’t be hidden from anyone, especially not his “fangirls.” 

“Don’t ever hide your tears again,” Tom whispered into your hair, “Let them flow.” His pointer finger gently lifts your chin, locking his eyes with your tear-filled ones. He brings his thumb to your cheek, wiping away the shining streaks of pain, sadness, desperation. 

“Let them flow because I’ll be here. I’ll be here to wipe them away every and any time.”

taglist: @big-galaxy-chaos @chloecreatesfictions-archive @dpaccione @cuddlykoala101 @tomshufflepuff @lmaotshollandd​ if you would like to be removed from the taglist, please send to my inbox

[getouswh0re]

pairing: kirishima eijirou x reader

genre: yandere, unhealthy relationships, gaslighting, peer pressure, blackmailing, mentions of school bullying, power play

synopsis: all you want is a peaceful languid life free of trouble, yet everything spirals downhill when a certain redhead wanders into your life out of nowhere. Worst of all, he isn’t planning to leave you for good.

****************************************************

one

“What is it that you want to ask me, Kirishima?” The spiky redhead sucks in a deep breath, feeling the rhythmic thrumming of his heart rising to a crescendo as he shoots a nervous glance at a nearby bush where his squad is hiding. It is going to be alright, he reminds himself. You have practiced the confession with Sero and Kaminari over and over again, all that’s left is for you to say the exact words in front of y/n again!

“I ... I know we have only been friends for a short while y/n, but I really like you! And I was thinking if there would be a chance for the two of us to try things out. Please ... please be my girlfriend! I promise I’ll make you the happiest person on the entire planet!”

For a while, silence dominates the air, leaving you shell-shocked and an extremely flustered Kirishima who turns his head away, refusing to stare at you in the eye. He cognises that this confession must’ve given you quite a bit of shock, yet he is willing to wait for you to reciprocate his feelings no matter how long it takes. Squeezing his eyes shut as he clasps his palms together, the redhead feels like he is waiting for your reply — akin to an answer from the heavens. Not until you open your mouth and what seems like an iridescent future for him has reduced to dust.

“I’m sorry Kiri ... I like you too, but I don’t think of you romantically.”

It takes you forever to muster up the courage you need to politely reject the bubbly redhead; and in all honesty, you can already feel your conscience berating you for doing so. Admittedly, Kirishima is a wonderful guy — with a bright personality, amazing quirk that would guarantee him a promising future in the hero industry. You, on the other hand, have a somewhat decent quirk as well; yet despite everyone around gushing about how great it would be for you to become a hero, your resolve towards being one isn’t as strong as your fellow classmates in UA. And you don’t want your thoughts to affect the other students in striving towards their ultimate goal. 

Including Kirishima Eijirou.

“... why?” Pangs of guilt shoot through your heart when you hears the redhead choking back sobs. “Why can’t we give one another a chance to work things out? Am ... am I not good enough? Did I annoy you? Or do you hate my hair? I — I can dye it whatever colour you want! Just to make you happy ...” 

“It’s not like that Kiri.” You place a hand on his hunched shoulders, attempting to cheer up his dejected spirit. 

“You are not annoying, nor did your behaviour put me off. You are a really nice guy to be honest, and you deserve a lot more. I’m not like you or the others ... I just want to live a normal life, and I don’t want my mentality of not being a hero to affect the rest of you who work so hard to reach for the stars. Plus, I’m sure you’ll meet a lot more amazing people like you out there once you become a professional hero ... and perhaps, you’ll find someone more deserving of your kindness and love. I wish for your happiness Kiri ... may you have the best of things coming your way in life.” 

With that, you spill out apologies one after the other, leaving the heartbroken hero-in-training behind. 

two 

Never would you have imagined that the act of turning down Kirishima’s confession eventually bites back at you like karma. 

Soon after the incident happens, words about how you reject the redhead has spread its way around the school like wildfire. Within the span of a day, you’ve become the number one gossip of the campus; wherever you go, dozens of eyes would trail after you as if they are lurking predators and you being the prey.

Many shoot you harsh dirty looks, raising their voices every time you saunter through the corridor about what an ungrateful, insolent bitch you are to break poor Kirishima’s heart into shambles. 

Insults are thrown your way, slips of paper filled with harsh messages flood your locker; and once in a while, some students would purposely stand in your way, intentionally bumping their shoulders into yours and shoving you out of the way. Even your own classmates from class A whom you’ve gone through thick and thin with side with the disconsolate male, muttering about how all of this would’ve been avoidable if you’d simply said ‘yes’. 

School has become an absolute nightmare for you for the next couple of weeks; and to make matters worse, the school authority doesn’t do much to alleviate the situation, merely giving verbal warnings about how bullying on school grounds is unacceptable before moving on with settling their own matters. You’ve tried to ignore everything that happens in school, you really did. Yet with the weight of it all come crushing down upon your shoulders, you eventually find yourself teetering on the brink of suffering from a mental breakdown. 

For countless nights you would cry yourself to sleep, burying yourself beneath layers of blankets in order to forget about the pain. Still, it does nothing to alleviate your suffering and you wake up to find the dark circles under your eyes growing bigger with each passing day. The vicious cycle continues, with you trapped in the centre of it. Perhaps this is your punishment after all — your consequence for hurting a fellow classmate who is loved by everyone. 

And maybe it’s about time you fix your mistakes before it is too late. 

“Kiri ...” You bow deeply as an apology at the surprised redhead when you manage to drag him out of the classroom during break time under the prying eyes of everyone poking their heads out from the corridor, brushing aside the mean comments reverberating in the air. 

“I’ve been thinking about it ... and I realise I’m wrong. Maybe I was too quick to jump to conclusions, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give things a try. I’m ... I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, and yes. Let’s give this relationship a try, shall we?” 

Oddly enough, the bullying vanishes into thin air once words are spread around the school that the two of you are dating. 

three

Being in a relationship with the boisterous redhead isn’t as bad as you had imagined, but you wish there is something you could do to get yourself out of this mess. Kirishima isn’t a terrible lover at all; he has been nothing but loving, kind and openly affectionate with you at all times. You would’ve regarded him as the perfect partner for life — if not the fact that he pries a bit too much about your personal space and social circle, making you utterly uncomfortable. 

You totally understand his intentions, albeit thinking that it would’ve been better if he knows not to cross certain boundaries. Regardless, every time you try to bring the subject up, Kirishima would invariably find a way to divert the topic of discussion. Still, you need to make sure he understands the message; and so comes a certain night, when you decide to sit down and settle matters with your boyfriend. 

“Eijirou, we ... we need to talk.” 

“What do you want to talk about babe?” 

“I ... I think I need a break — for this relationship I mean.” Hearing that, the redhead’s smile falters. 

“Why? I ... I thought everything was going perfectly! You’re happy, I’m happy. Isn’t that good enough for you?” 

With tears squeezed forth from the pro hero’s waterline, he lunges forth to grab at your arms, nails digging a bit deeper into your skin than a normal lover should. Despite wincing at the pain, you shift your gaze away from your crying boyfriend, reminding yourself of the inordinate number of occurrences that Kirishima has guilt-tripped you into pushing your boundaries. Seeing the unfazed expression on your face only makes chagrin seethe in the redhead’s chest even more. You love him just as much as he loves you, right? Why would you go to such lengths to destroy everything? Why would you risk all that there is to tear yourself away from his life? 

“Tell me babe ...” The rawness laced in his voice is more than evident to drive your frozen heart on the verge of breaking, his unanswered pleas coming out as a broken record. “Do you hate me that much ... that you want to leave?” 

Taking your silent nodding as a yes, Kirishima’s chest aches more than ever. Being a professional hero is never easy; the weight upon his shoulders increases excruciatingly as he steadily climbs up the ranks. Together with shouldering the guilt of the lives he once failed to save, the suffocation is immense. You are his elixir, his solace every time he returns home battered and utterly drained day after day of repetitive villain fighting. Your presence is all that it takes to save him, and he has become a hero — your hero. He has dedicated his all to protect the city.

So why couldn’t you just do the same for the sake of his sanity? 

“... I understand.” Pulling himself out of his pensive mindset, the redhead finally compromises. “But I have one last request: there would be a hero gala this Friday, and all I want is for the two of us to go as a couple for one last time before this relationship ends. Would ... would that be fine with you?” 

You agree without hesitation, relief surging through you as if a weight has been lifted off your chest. Your wishes have finally been answered, and freedom is just within arm’s reach. 

Or so you thought. 

four 

You hate him for putting you in the limelight. 

Still, you are to blame as well. Perhaps you shouldn’t have been so gullible in the first place, believing that Kirishima Eijirou is a man of his world. 

Staring at yourself in the mirror, a wry grin adorns your face as a team of makeup artists and hair stylists prepares you for the grand wedding, gushing about how lucky you are to charm your way into the chivalrous redhead’s heart and the privilege for you to be his one and only blushing bride (except that all of this is out of your own will — more like enforced onto you). Despite being dressed in the most elegant wedding gown you’ve ever seen and having your features accentuated with powdery makeup, you don’t feel elated to the slightest. Most girls would be thrilled on their wedding days, yet you couldn’t even bring yourself to smile. 

If you had unveiled Kirishima’s lies, would all of these happen in the first place? 

“Everyone ... there is something I would like to announce.” Having said that, the hero gives your hand a gentle squeeze whilst the two of you walk onto the podium situated at the centre of the banquet hall where the gala is held. Thinking that the redhead is about to reveal the breakup to the others, you don’t have much on your mind at that particular moment — that is. 

Not until the entire outcome of the jamboree changes completely when Kirishima gets to his knees without warning and pulls out a shimmering diamond ring before you even get to scream at him about what the fuck is going on. 

“y/n ...” Deceptively adoring eyes that make your stomach churn bore into the depths of your betrayed ones as the redhead shamelessly plays his trickster part well, ignoring your hushed protests while he pulls off an elaborate performance in front of the party guests, his sinister intentions masked beneath the innocent smile and corny confession of love. 

“For as long as I could remember, we have been with each other through highs and lows. You are everything to me and I wish I could cherish this bond for a lifetime ... would you make me the happiest man on earth — and marry me?” 

That son of a bitch —

Following that, claps and cheers resonate in the expanse of the arena, overshadowing the choked sobs ripped from none other than your throat. You should’ve expected this, for a lovesick bastard like Kirishima to resort to such abject measures when he runs out of options to make you stay by his side, forcing you to accept his proposal under the pressure of the gathering crowd. 

You hate him.

You despise him more than anyone else. That said, it isn’t like you have a choice to get yourself out of this predicament; and with a heavy heart, you could only follow along the scripted play, feigning tears of joy as you reluctantly mumble your response. A cheeky smile stretches across your fiancé’s face as he does what every engaged couple would do: slipping the ring onto your finger and showering you with kisses whilst surrounded by incessant blessings of fellow pro heroes and friends alike. 

“You look stunning today, love.” Catching a glimpse of slicked vermilion hair, you cannot think of an alternative response other than flashing the grinning groom a prominent scowl. “Now don’t give me a face like that. It’s our wedding day, we should be happy right —”

“Cut the bullshit.” You spit with raging fury, tears rolling down your face as you back away from your husband-to-be. “You’ve ruined my happiness and my future, yet you have the audacity to act like this? To be all smiles in front of me? I never want to be with you in the first place Kirishima Eijirou! Hell — I never want to date you!” 

Your words pierce his throbbing heart, but the redhead can’t care less. Taking a step closer at a time, he easily towers over you; tenderly caressing your stained cheeks, Kirishima gives his final warning. 

“Love, it’s my word over yours. Who do you think people would believe? An up-and-rising pro hero, or a civilian like you? Also, even if you manage to leave me, how long do you think you can sustain your own living out there? I wonder if anyone would hire you ... if I told them every bit of info I have on you —“

Pupil-blown and legs shaking, you fall limply beneath his intense stare. 

“You ... you wouldn’t dare!” 

“Oh yes I would.” Pressing a kiss to your forehead, Kirishima saunters out of the door. “Now ask your stylists to touch up on your makeup, wouldn’t want to look like a crying mess on your special day. Would you?” 

[maybebanks]

Hurting - part 4

link to part 1

link to part 2

link to part 3

jj maybank x reader

Previously: JJ and Y/n’s relationship is tested after the mental and physical difficulties of Y/n’s secret. She’s been an expert at hiding them, but now, he knows, and she has to face all her demons, and letting JJ think bruises are hickies is what she decided to do, to avoid the truth.

You didn’t need to get a job, because you were a ‘kook’ now. So what were you going to do with your summer? It had to be out of the house. And it couldn’t be with your best friends, the pogues.

You brushed the setting powder over your neck and jawline. Taking a deep breath before heading downstairs for breakfast.

You couldn’t face your mom, you were just going to grab some food and leave.

“Honey,” you heard a deep voice say.

You jumped and turned around, “um, yes sir,” you frowned, looking down at the ground.

“You’re mother took an early flight and I’m having a meeting here, so you need to stay in your room today,” your step father stated.

“W-wait, mom’s gone?” Your voice was shakey. You didn’t even get to explain the whole JJ situation.

“Yes.” He said impatiently, “look, doll, I don’t have time for you right now! My associate will be here any minute and if he sees you, we will have a problem,”

You didn’t understand, but you listened.

“Can-can I just get my bag? It’s in the front..um room,” you asked, meekly.

“Damnit you idiot!” He shouts, his fists clenching. You squinted your eyes on instinct, knowing he wants to punch you, knowing you were seconds away from pain.

The doorbell rang.

“Fuck. Get the hell out of my face,” he shoved you aggressively, then left your sight to get the door.

You stumbled, landing on the stairs, on your side. Cursing on impact.

You quickly got up, grabbed your bathing suit and ran out the door. Deciding to escape to the beach.

You put on your navy blue string bikini and quickly dove into the waves. It was weird because the last time you were here, you were with JJ.

He’s always been so sweet to you and you never knew why. Your first day on the island, when no one would talk to you, he came up to you. And being the established, well-liked person that he is, others followed.

You were very shy at first, and JJ didn’t know the real you until about a month in. But he didn’t give up, he was perfect.

You came up for air again. The salt not stinging your eyes.

Friendship. You’ve never had anything close to it until you met JJ.

But it’s too late. He’s gonna stop trying after what you’ve done, after what you’ve let him think you’ve done.

“You cheat on me?”

“W-why?”

“Answer me.”

“JJ...I think you should go,”

“Y/n.”

In your head it was the right decision. But in your heart? You’d die without him.

“Hey! Catch any good waves?!” Someone shouted from the shore.

You turned around from wading on your surf board. Waving to the boy at the shore.

A head of shaggy, long-ish brown haired boy seemed cheery. He threw off his button up and jumped into the waves.

You sighed, you were going to have to talk to this stranger. You almost didn’t have the energy.

“Why haven’t you been...around?” John B asks. You were surprisingly comfortable around him. He was your friend, you just didn’t notice at first.

“Just some...family stuff going on,” you shrugged.

“Ohh right. JJ told us!” He remembered.

“He-he what?” You stutter, afraid of what he might know.

“Yeah, he said your mom was coming home and she hasn’t in a while. That’s really all he said,” John B shrugged, flipping his hair after.

You felt like crying. Your mom wasn’t coming home, she was visiting for less than 12 hours.

“Hey...what happened to your leg?” He asked, swimming closer to you.

“Nothing, haha don’t uh..worry about me. How are..how are you?” You changed the subject.

“Well...oh shit! Did I tell you! I fucked uppp bro! I kissed Kie-“

“You did?!”

“Yeah! And she totally rejected me,” John B admitted.

“Did she like swerve? Or like push you?” You asked, curious about a normal thing for once.

“Nah, we kissed and then she pulled away, and said the no pogue on pogue macking rule. Fuckin JJ found a loophole with that,” he joked.

“A loophole?” You questioned.

“Yeah. Because you’re technically a kook,” John B shrugged.

“I guess,” you sighed.

“Hey, wanna get out of here? The waves are shit,” John B asked.

“Yeah.” You sighed, finally feeling calm for the first time in a while. Afterall it was a good distraction from JJ and everything else.

You and John B swam to shore and you threw a hoodie over your head.

“How good does the Wreck sound right now?” John B chuckled.

“So good,” you laughed, imagining shoving fries in ur mouth right now at the best restaurant in the Outer banks.

-

When you arrived at the restaurant, John B held the door open for you. He wanted to see you smile. You did, a soft curl of the lips, but it faded suddenly.

Something was wrong.

John Bs chest collided with your back, he chuckled. Because you stopped walking and blocked his path foreward.

“What’s up Y/n/n?” John B asked.

“Shut up-“ you said abruptly, John Bs eyes widened.

“Um..sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, just...don’t say my name like that,” you mumbled.

“Why? It’s your nickname right? Are you not cool with me calling you that?” John B questioned.

“No, no. I didn’t mean..just..nevermind,” you sighed. You just didn’t like it when people said your name loud in public places, you didn’t want to be recognized by certain people.

“Okayy? Anyway, let’s do that table in the back,” John B suggested.

“Okay,” you answered, keeping your head down.

He walked you to the table, and to your surprise, Kie arrived to take your orders.

“Hey guys! Is this a date? Or...” she joked. Laughing.

“Very funny Kie. Are you trying to make me lose my appetite? Poor business tactic of you ask me-“

“Hey! You asshole,” you mutter. Dipping your fingers in your water glass and spraying it at him.

John B tried to duck, but then bumped his head on the table.

You and Kie laughed loudly as he groaned in pain.

She could barely stop laughing, “can...ah I take your orders?”

“Yeah...um I’ll get um...John B what are you getting?”

“A cheese burger with no Mayo,” he told Kie.

“Idiot,” she muttered as she wrote it down.

“You want the usual? Fries and-“

“Ooh yes I’ll just have fries and cheese please,” you smiled.

“Yup, you got it. Ok I’ll be back,” she winked before leaving.

“By the way,” John B began, “I just want you to know I’d never make a move on you as long as your with JJ. I mean-Kie was joking in all-“

“John B, don’t worry about it ok?” You interrupted.

“Yeah but...I also wanted to ask you, what’s going on between you and JJ. Eveytime I mention him you get defensive,”

“What are you talking about? No I don’t,” you responded.

“Uh huh,” he said sarcastically.

“Look, the truth is, I just don’t care anymore,” you told him. You knew in your heart it wasn’t true, but it had to be. You couldn’t take back the fact that JJ thought you cheated. So you had to go with it.

“That doesn’t sound like you,” John B said.

“Whatever,” you sighed.

“Oh shit,” John B said, staring at the door.

“W-what? Is he here? Did you invite him? I swear to God,” you said in a hushed tone. You didn’t want to turn around yourself, in case you had to look him in the eye.

“No, chill. It’s..isn’t that your step dad though?” John B asked.

Your moth dropped slightly, “John B don’t say shit like that, your-“ you were about to tell him he was scaring you, but you shouldn’t admit that.

“Look behind you,”

“No I don’t want to,”

“Just look,”

You sighed, and slowly turned.

“Oh-“ you started to respond, but you practically felt your heart stop. Instantly, your breathing picked up.

“What’s going on between you and JJ? Why wouldn’t you want him here?” John B said, trying to pull your attention back to him.

You shook your head, instead of answering. You could hardly form words. Maybe it’s the fact that if your step father sees you here, there’s going to be some contact.

“Whoa relax!” John B said, placing his hand on yours.

Immediately, you pulled your hand away.

He furrowed his brows, confused and offended.

“Sorry.” you muttered.

“You wanna...leave.. I mean ... you wanna get out of here?” You suggested, afraid he would say no.

“What? Why? We didn’t even get our food!” John B exclaimed.

“I..I know. I just..don’t feel like eating anymore.”

“That’s so weird, Y/n. C’mon we can’t leave. Just suck it up for a sec,” John B said shortly. Tapping your shoulder.

“Okay,” you responded. You thought back to JJ. He never made you do stuff you don’t want to. He was just so caring to you. Not that John B wasn’t, just that JJ knew you so well.

A few minutes later, your couldn’t shake the thought that the man you feared the most was behind you. You didn’t have eyes. You didn’t have JJ. You didn’t have anything.

“John B, I don’t feel well I think I’m gonna head out,” you told him, getting up slowly.

“You sure?” He said, analyzing your.

“I um...” for some reason, blurred vision erupted, and you started feeling like you were going to faint.

You stood up slowly. But things were getting worse, and your stance was unsteady.

You gripped the edge of the table for support.

“Y/n...what’s up with you?” John B asked. Sounding annoyed.

For some reason a tear escaped from your eye, you were sorry you were annoying him. So you muttered a quick, “I’m sorry,”

John B stood up, he was now right infront of you. And then, you collapsed. John Bs arms wrapped around you and pulled you into him as you fell.

He was shocked by this. Struggling to hold you up.

No one seemed to pay much attention, but anyone in their right mind would know that they should probobly take you to the hospital. But John B, as did many of the pogues, didn’t always trust authority.

So he took you back to the Chateau, where Sarah, who took a class in Lifeguarding was considerably the doctor instead.

“What happened?!!” Sarah exclaimed as she saw John B carry you out of the van.

“She just passed out. Hey can you help me carry her?” John B grunted.

“Uh..I’ll get JJ,” she said.

“Oh fuck. Wait! I don’t know if that’s such a good idea-“ John B began but Sarah had already called him from working on the boat.

He ran over, his eyes filled with worry. He quickly took you from John B. Carrying you without a problem bridal style.

Inside, he let you down on the couch.

You were slowly coming back to consciousness.

“Put this on her forehead,” Sarah said passing a towel to JJ.

“Hey...hey Y/n. Come back to me okay? Fuck baby. Don’t do this to me alright, wake up,” JJ muttered into your ear.

Moments later, your eyes started to flutter.

To witch JJ sighed in relief, taking your hand and holding it tight in his own.

“Let’s call her parents,” Sarah suggested, grabbing Y/n’s phone.

“Sarah no. Alright? Give me her phone,” JJ demanded.

“No! If I was her my parents would want to know! It’s not normal to just faint-“

“Sarah, give me the fucking phone,” JJ persisted.

John B frowned, “hey watch it, JJ. Don’t talk to her like that bro,”

Sarah frowned, and out of spite began typing on her phone.

JJs temper only grew, he only wanted to protect you.

He grabbed Sarah’s wrists and pulled the phone from her hand.

“Hey!” Sarah exclaimed.

“Dude!” John B interjected.

JJ returned the phone to his pocket.

“Bro, I’m gonna kill you-“ John B said.

“Wait,” you said meekly, “JJ was right, okay? It would only make it worse. Just trust me,”

“But why?” Sarah said concerned.

You shook your head, signaling you couldn’t answer the question.

Sarah sighed and wished you to feel better before leaving.

John B then stepped to JJ, “you’re lucky your girlfriend is so sweet. I would’ve kicked your ass,” John B threatened.

JJ didn’t want to cause a drive between any more of the people he cared about. So he just accepted.

JJ then sat by you, despite what had happened before.

“You really scared me, Y/n.”

“Wasn’t..my intention,” you stifled out, trying to get up.

“Whoa...whoa, can you stay to get some rest? Just stay here for me,” he insisted with a hand on your chest.

“JJ...” you sighed.

“I know it’s not true. I know what you’re doing.”

“Stop. Please.” You pleaded.

“You didn’t cheat on me. Those are bruises aren’t they. They’re not hickies. They’re from him trying to choke you.” JJ explained.

“JJ get away from me. We broke up. I don’t....I don’t-“

“You don’t what? You don’t love me?! Huh! Say it Y/n. Look me in the eyes, and I leave for good,”

“I don’t! I don’t deserve you! You can’t me with me. I’m used, JJ. You deserve a girl that isn’t so-“

“Broken? Y/n, I’m just as fucked up as you. You know my dad hits me right? He beats me. And it’s wrong. And I hate him. But I can’t hate you. Ever. Not for what that sick man has done,”

At this point, you were balling. Wiping tears as soon as they fell.

“JJ...I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying. I thought you would leave.”

“It doesn’t work like that, when I love you more than anything in my entire life,”

“I don’t understand,” you stuttered.

“Understand what?”

“Even after you know what he does. How could you look at me, and still love me?”

“That doesn’t change all I’ve known as soon as I met you. And if you need me to prove it to you, I will.”

-

thx for reading ❤️

@mavelfanatic @my-therapist-hates-me @rudypankowswife @harrypottersgirl @themaddies-obx taglist

[yandearest]

May The Odds Be Ever in Your Favor (Hoseok x Reader Hunger Games AU) Chapter 6: What Happens When You Care

Summary - Living in District 4 you never thought you would have to worry about being selected for the Hunger Games. With a training centre right near the dock of the houseboat you lived and fished from, your district was known for volunteers who trained their whole lives for a shot at glory and riches. But at age 18, your name is called and no girls volunteer to take your place. Your devastation is answered when Kim Namjoon volunteers for the males shortly after. Tall, muscular, highly intelligent and charming, the years of diligent preparation have bestowed Namjoon with the expectation of being the next District 4 champion after Finnick Odair last won 3 years ago.

Fishing for a living has granted you skills with a knife but, as your mentor Finnick is quick to describe, your beautiful face may well be your best asset.

Upon arrival in the Capitol you are quickly faced with the reality that Namjoon may not even be the biggest danger inside the Arena. Especially when you capture the obsessive attention of District 2′s own volunteer, and killing machine, Jung Hoseok. Hope soon fades from ‘survival’ to ‘the mercy of a painless death’ but Hoseok certainly has other plans.

Pairing - Hoseok x (fem)Reader

Genre - thriller, angst, yandere

Word Count 4.1K

Warning: This chapter is quite heavy with 3 deaths described in detail. There is also a (foiled) attempt at sexual assault.

PLEASE AVOID READING IF YOU CONSIDER THIS CONTENT UPSETTING

The following is a dark fic featuring a yandere character, violence, obsession, and coercion. By no means does writing about this in a fictional setting condone any of those behaviours, much like Stephen King writing horror doesn’t mean he approves of psychotic killers in reality. Please avoid reading if any of these warnings makes you uncomfortable.

Previous Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Cross posted on A03 so people can subscribe for updates/notifications

Hoseok had been on edge ever since the careers had collectively agreed to move to the top of the waterfall. He had kept his eyes peeled on the journey upwards, hoping to catch a glimpse of you amongst the trees, but to no avail. When they had eventually reached the top, the group had quickly set up a camp along a part of land near the edge, using the tent, fire supplies, pot, rice, and multiple weapons they had carried with them. The tent was rather small, most likely designed to fit two people, but with the dropping temperature three was a comfortable fit.

After a dinner of boiled rice, the group of five agreed to take turns of three sleeping in the tent and two keeping watch outside. Hoseok took the first guard shift, far too anxious to sleep, with Yoongi taking the other. Hoseok didn’t mind Yoongi, he didn’t annoy him by talking and mostly just sat by the fire.

The top of the waterfall was cold, but Hoseok felt himself becoming increasingly concerned watching the fog crawling across the trees, as he paced around the edge of the cliff. It looked like a blanket was covering the entire arena, as far as he could see, with the top of the trees just barely being visible from where he was. He knew it was pointless, there was no way he would be able to see you tonight, and from the projected faces displayed earlier he knew you were still alive. But he couldn’t help but feel worried sick.

His unease only grew at the sound of the first canon in the night, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“She’ll be fine,” Yoongi’s gruff voice sounded from his place by the fire.

Hoseok grunted in return. He could easily snap, asking how Yoongi would like it if it were Krystal out there instead, but that wouldn’t do anything to help.

He was concerned to the point it was like his stomach was in knots, but at the same time he felt like he just knew that canon wasn’t for you.

The rest of the night passed slowly. Hoseok declined to swap during the first rotation of the guards/sleepers, still feeling too high strung. But by the time the next swap was scheduled he knew he had to sleep in order to be alert and have the best chance of finding you the next day.

There were lingering doubts in his mind about whether his alliance could betray him and kill him in his sleep, but that was a fear everyone had to face when working with others in the game. Yoongi was asleep on the other side of the tent and Athena was next to him, he doubted either of them would try to make a move first. So, with his thoughts entirely on you, he eventually fell asleep.

 ***

 To say that you didn’t sleep well throughout the night would be an understatement. Rather than “sleep” you would describe it as momentary pauses where you passed out from sheer exhaustion. You had spent the last eight (or so) hours either waking up between canons (three in total) or from your own nightmares. Whether the tributes who had died were a result of the freezing temperatures or from a more vicious end, you had no idea. As creepy as you found the concept of a fanclub, you couldn’t help but be extremely grateful for their gift of a blanket. Without it you had no idea if you would have managed to survive the night. And if you had managed then you were sure you would have been in a much worse state.

You were woken up by your body temperature, feeling much too smothered and hot beneath the blanket. Pushing it off your body (but being careful not to lose it over the side of the branch), you noticed that the fog from last night had been quickly burnt off by the morning sun, poking through the trees. You quickly realized how thirsty you were, and took a swig from the bottle of water in your bag, making a mental note to find a water source to refill it as soon as possible. You folded your blanket tightly and stuffed it into the bottom of your bag, followed by the water bottle and lastly the rope from the tree as you untied yourself. You kept your new knife inside the front pocket of your pants.

Looking down to try and map your descent, you felt dizzy seeing just how high up you were, and you certainly were not excited about having to climb another tree all over again (assuming you even made it to the end of the day). With a shaky sigh, you clasped onto the trunk tightly and slowly began to lower your weight until you felt your feet touching the branch below. Cautiously you climbed down, gradually becoming more confident with each branch that you passed, as the distance to the ground below lessened.

You were half way through leaning your legs down to the next branch, when you heard the sound of snapping twigs and footsteps. In a panic, you quickly scrambled to swing your legs back up and tried and hide. Lying flat with your legs, stomach and chest, pressing onto the bark, you felt your heartbeat pounding in your ears as the footsteps increased, meaning there was more than one person coming your way. As the sounds kept getting louder, you pressed your eyes shut, begging that whoever it was wouldn’t be looking upwards.

“Stop! Please!” a loud shriek sent a shiver down your spine at the sheer panic in the girl’s voice.

Very cautiously, you peered over the side of the branch to see a petite girl wildly running through the bushes, whilst a larger boy chased her. He was much stronger and faster, narrowing the distance between them with every step, as the poor girl pleaded with him in shrill gasps to stop. Neither of the pair were looking upwards in your direction – the girl too busy trying to escape and the boy’s eyes were focused squarely on his target. It was as the girl was directly under your branch that the boy made his move, tackling her brutally to the ground, and slamming them both into the trunk of the tree. You gripped onto the branch to stabilize yourself, but being only a few meters above the ground, you weren’t in a life-threatening position if you fell. Instead you felt sickened at the sight below of the boy rolling on top of the girl, his larger body obscuring her entirely from your view.

You immediately thought of the boy from 7 yesterday tackling you into the river. You had been lucky enough to have had a weapon to defend yourself with, but you doubted the girl below you had anything as you couldn’t see any movement coming from her. Maybe she was being strangled, maybe the boy was bashing her head into the ground below. All you knew is you couldn’t just lay there and watch her be assaulted.

Grabbing the knife from your pocket, you unsheathed the cover and grasped the handle. With only a few meters to fall, you pushed off from the branch and landed directly onto the boy’s back. Your weight pushed him to the side and off of the girl, before he could even turn to see who had attacked him, your blade was sinking into the side of his neck.

Not making the same mistake as yesterday, you ripped it out in order to keep your weapon. You watched in horror as the boy took strangled gasps, choking on his own blood as it gushed from the neck wound and soaked his clothes, along with the ground that he fell forward onto. Feeling the red sticky substance on your skin you frantically began wiping your hands on the bark of the tree, picking up leaves from the ground and trying to get it off of you.

It was as you were grabbing for more leaves that you realized you hadn’t heard a single thing from the girl that the boy had been attacking. You didn’t want to see, but you felt a sickening compulsion to look. Turning towards her body on the ground you saw her lying flat on her back, eyes staring wide at the sky above. Her neck was bent at a grotesque angle, leaving her quite obviously paralyzed, however you could very faintly still see her mouth twitching, indicating that she was barely still alive. But what made you feel significantly better about the lingering blood on your hands and knife, was the buttons from her shirt being torn open, exposing her bra-covered chest beneath. You didn’t want to think of what would have continued to happen if you didn’t intervene.

Ignoring the last choke of the boy along with the sound of his corresponding canon, you hesitantly approached the girl. Dropping your knife at your feet, you held up your hands to show her you meant no harm. Her eyes were glazed over and her breath was now nearly nonexistent. You doubted she even knew you were there. Feeling tears stinging in the back of your eyes, you dropped to your knees beside her and pulled her shirt back over her chest. What buttons were still left, you looped back into their holes, trying to restore her dignity in her final moments. You stayed by her side, and it didn’t take long, until her canon sounded too.

 ***

 “That’s it, I’m fucking going, now”

With every canon that sounded, Hoseok had only become more unsettled. But it was the two sounding near back-to-back that finally sent him over the edge. Typically, in the games the opening blood bath is the major loss and things simmer down over the next few days, but there had now been five deaths since you were separated. The fog had definitely been related to some, but for the number to be that high, other tributes had to be killing too – the Capitol wouldn’t want to wipe out so many themselves, it was still too soon.

“Wait, just hold on a second,” Athena snapped “You don’t even know where you’re going to start.”

“Well it’s better than me sitting on my ass up here,” Hoseok snapped back.

“No, actually, it isn’t. You want to go run off into the jungle and get yourself killed? You don’t even know if she’s still alive and you want to leave the rest of us one man down to chase after some idiot who ran away?”

Hoseok’s anger was palpable and it was surprisingly Krystal who leapt up from her seat on the ground, to try and ease the tension. Quickly she stood in front of Hoseok before he could go after Athena, raising her hands to try and calm him down.

“I get it. She was attacked, she didn’t run away. If I was in her position, I’d want someone to look for me too.”

Hoseok nodded curtly. He was infuriated by Athena and also at Krystal from stopping him before he could’ve knocked the teeth out of her mouth. But Athena wasn’t his priority, you were.

“Don’t even think about it,” Yoongi growled in Krystal’s direction.

“What? It’s true, what if it were me? Wouldn’t you be trying to find me?” Krystal turned away from Hoseok to reply to her brother.

“I never said he can’t go,” Yoongi nodded towards Hoseok, who was now grabbing an empty bag and shoving a few supplies inside, preparing to leave. “But you’re staying here.”

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t volunteer, just to watch you risk your life for someone else. She could have come back to us after she fought off seven. She made her choice when she ran into the forest instead.”

“But-”

“I’m not asking you to come with me,” Hoseok cut Krystal off before Yoongi could.

“YN’s in my alliance too,” Krystal frowned.

“I don’t care,” Hoseok bluntly stated, swinging the bag over his shoulder and following it with a quiver of arrows.

“So what? You’re just going to run off through the trees alone, and hope you magically find her, without you or her getting killed by the other tributes?” Athena asked, her sarcastic question laced with a biting tone.

“He’s not going alone.”

The group turned towards Namjoon stepping out of the tent, with his own bag across his shoulder. He had been the last to switch from guard duty to the tent last night, and everyone had just assumed he was still asleep.

“Well that’s great. Did I miss the memo for this alliance where half of us are whipped for some girl we’re eventually going to have to kill anyway?” Athena threw her hands up in exasperation, before angrily taking a seat on the ground next to Yoongi (the only person left with half a brain if you asked her).

Namjoon rolled his eyes at Athena’s outburst, instead taking his pick from the weapons pile. The sword would be too big to carry whilst trying to remain hidden, so he opted for a smaller dagger.

“YN is my district partner and someone I’ve known for years. If your mentor taught you anything you should have known to watch our interviews, and you would have seen I had my own feelings for her long before these games,” Namjoon dismissed.

Athena scoffed and shook her head as Hoseok narrowed his eyes.

“But this isn’t just about her either. The cornucopia is still loaded with supplies, because no one can camp there. We can take empty bags with us and bring back more food items, along with any remaining weapons. Whatever we take means less for the other tributes, and more for us.”

Hoseok pretty much had the same idea, his own bag was only packed with a water bottle, knife, a few protein bars, and a lighter, leaving plenty of room for more supplies.

“Good, it’s settled then.” Yoongi spoke up, eager to see the two leave before his sister could try and force her way in to join them. “You two go get the supplies and try to find YN whilst the rest of us stay here and look after the camp. I’m going to try and use a spear for fishing, but you’re not getting shit unless you bring food back too”.

“Fair enough,” Namjoon agreed. Hoseok nodded once in acknowledgement.

“Let’s go.”

 ***

 Krystal cared too much, at least that’s what her brother had always told her growing up. They had been born into as wealthy a family as one could possibly be from within the districts. Their father worked for the Capitol as a peace keeper, and insisted they begin training as soon as possible, in the event their names were ever called for the games. But despite an authoritarian regime supporting father, and daily lessons on how to kill other children since the age that she could read, Krystal somehow still found herself caring about other people.

Growing up she questioned things – like why other people had to starve on the streets whilst she always had food to eat – that always lead to her father angrily yelling that it’s “just the way things are!”. Her father’s reaction had been enough to stop her from asking him again, but it hadn’t been enough to stop her from trying to help. She would sneak extra bread rolls out of the cupboard and into her lunchbox, so she could share with other children in her school that didn’t have any food to bring. The harsh world around her couldn’t beat the kindness out of her, it just caused her to hide it better.

Krystal’s gentle nature was exactly why Yoongi had volunteered when her name was drawn – to her dismay. Yoongi had similar thoughts on how awful the world was, but he lacked the optimism to see it as a place worth saving. He didn’t even see it as a place worth living in for himself. His sister was special, she could actually have a life worth living if she returned. Yoongi reasoned his life could have some purpose if it was used to keep someone like Krystal alive for longer. He had told her as much on their train ride into the Capitol.

They didn’t have a ‘plan’ besides aim for a career pack alliance, let Yoongi do all the killing, and find a way to make sure Krystal would be the one to leave at the end. But what little plan they did have was disrupted through the inclusion of you.

Because Krystal cared too much, she saw how terrified you were of another member from your alliance. So, she took you under her wing and tried to protect you from Hoseok as much as she could. Yoongi didn’t like it (“she’s going to have to die anyway, may as well let him be the one to kill her”), but she could tell that there was something more sinister to Hoseok’s actions than what appeared on the surface. She reasoned that if you did have to die in the arena, it shouldn’t be from an obsessed stalker.

Because Krystal cared too much, she imagined herself in your position being attacked from behind at the cornucopia and having to fight for your life. Seeing Hoseok’s violent torture with her own eyes, she couldn’t blame you for running into the forest – especially knowing how fixated he was on you.

Because Krystal cared too much, she waited until her brother was distracted with his spear fishing attempts – yelling out to him that she was going to use the ‘bathroom’ and would bring back some firewood – to sneak off into the forest, following the tracks that Namjoon and Hoseok had left.

Given she had to sneak off, Krystal didn’t have the luxury of packing a bag or making any real plan. All she had was the pocket knife that she had been able to slip inside her pocket. Her basic idea was just to use her tracking experience (from childhood training) to find Hoseok and Namjoon. From there she was mentally tossing up the options of; joining them as a group to look for you, following from behind and just watching to make sure that you were okay if they found you, or looking for any traces of you that appeared along the way to then split and try to find you first.

Taking off in the direction that Hoseok and Namjoon had left in, Krystal began the descent back down the steep land, towards the bottom of the waterfall. The trip upwards yesterday had been far worse, given the careers were all having to climb with supplies loaded on their backs. Going down was far easier, but came with its own challenge of being careful not to slip and be sent tumbling. Krystal was also facing a different issue of needing to be as quiet as possible. For now, she didn’t want Hoseok or Namjoon to know that she was tracking them, and she also didn’t want to risk being attacked on her own by any other tributes.

The fog from last night had left a dewy moisture on the land, which made for optimal tracking conditions. Once Krystal came across two sets of footprints in the muddy dirt, all she had to do was follow the path that had already been walked. Because she had to wait for Yoongi to go fishing before she could leave, Namjoon and Hoseok already had a solid twenty-minute head start. Judging from the length between each step, they were also moving rather quickly.

The descent into more even land took around thirty minutes. Judging from the lack of deviation in footprints or sounds of a canon, Namjoon and Hoseok hadn’t run into anyone yet. True to their words from earlier, the duo’s footsteps seemed to be heading in the direction of the cornucopia. The arena was large and based on her memories from yesterday the cornucopia was still another twenty minutes, or so, away. Whilst she was no longer on the side of a cliff, the part of the forest Krystal was in now, remained on a hill. Only now there weren’t gaps between the trees where she could see how much further downwards there was to go. Instead the treetops were all above her, making it difficult to navigate her direction given she couldn’t properly see the sun. At least she still had the foot prints to track.

Krystal really wished she had been able to pack a water bottle. The temperature had rapidly increased as the morning went on and the atmosphere in the forest was extremely humid, causing her to sweat from the physical work. Wiping the sweat off her forehead, Krystal let out an exhausted sigh as she continued to follow in the footsteps before her. She tried to place her foot inside the prints that were already there to avoid being tracked by anyone else, and also try to reduce any noise her steps would make.

Another fifteen minutes later and Krystal began to find herself getting frustrated. She should be close to the cornucopia by now, except there wasn’t any sight of water nearby and she couldn’t hear the sounds of the river either. This was making no sense, had Namjoon and Hoseok gotten lost? But Namjoon had been the one to guide them to the top yesterday and he had a clear sense of direction then. Maybe they had been side tracked? But by what? There were still no signs of any altercations. It was probable that one of them had seen you (or something of yours) and that was why they were still moving inland. But she found it strange that she hadn’t seen any signs of starting to catch up with them. She was expecting to have spotted them, or to be able to hear them by now, given it had been nearly an hour, but so far there was nothing. Just the same footsteps.

Krystal continued further on before a weight suddenly knocked into her side, causing her to stumble into the closest tree. Before she could even think to reach for her pocket knife, her body was spun around and her back slammed against the trunk. The force of the shove sent her neck swinging backwards, causing her head to painfully knock into the wood, leaving her momentarily stunned. A large palm covered her mouth to stop her from screaming, as a muscular forearm pinned her body in place, just below her shoulders, preventing her from being able to reach for her knife or try land a punch.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a little follower.”

The panic Krystal felt eased slightly upon realizing Namjoon was the one to have caught her. She let out a sigh through her nose, preparing to tell him off for excessively throwing her against a tree, except Namjoon wasn’t releasing his grip over her mouth that would allow her to do so.

“Now what are you doing so far away from camp? Especially after your brother told you not to leave… unless he doesn’t know that you’re here.”

Hoseok’s familiar voice drawled as he stepped out from behind the trunk of another tree close by. There was something foreboding about his tone that she immediately didn’t like.

Flickering her eyes between the two, Krystal began to pick up on details of her surroundings she had otherwise been missing from focusing too much on the footprints. Certain trees with odd shaped branches looked strangely familiar, and finally the penny dropped that she had been walking in circles.

Krystal quickly realized that what little relief she had felt at being caught by her alliance members was very much misplaced. Her eyes widened in fear and she began to thrash against the bark, as Hoseok stepped closer whilst withdrawing a knife from his back pocket. But it was too late, with Namjoon’s elbow over her shoulders and his palm covering her mouth, there was no way for her to even scream before she felt the blade being plunged between her ribcage, straight into her heart.

Because Krystal cared too much, she was dead before her body could hit the ground.

 ***

 Character kills:

Day 1 – 8

Boy D3 (Unknown attacker, knife)

Boy D7 (Hoseok, knife – O.B.)

Boy D11 (Opening Bloodbath)

Boy D12 (Hoseok, arrow - O.B.)

Girl D3 (Namjoon, sword - O.B.)

Girl D9 (Hoseok, arrow - O.B.)

Girl D10 (Hoseok, arrow - O.B.)

Girl D12 (Opening Bloodbath)

Day 2 (so far) - 5

Boy D5 (Overnight conditions)

Boy D6 (YN, knife)

Krystal D1 (Hoseok/Namjoon, knife)

Girl D5 (Boy D6, broken neck)

Girl D11 (Overnight conditions)

Initially this chapter was planned to be combined with the next one, however, after hitting 4000 words and thinking about how much I want to include in the next part - I decided to split it.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 6

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,710ish

Summary: Val throws a party. You remember the date.

Warning: talk of sex / I do not own Marvel or Grey’s Anatomy.

The morning came and you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. You really wanted to go meet Steve for breakfast, but you knew you probably shouldn’t. With a heavy sigh, you turned over to look at your bedside clock. There was 30 minutes until it was time to meet Steve. You could make it in time, if you went. You also had the day off so if you didn’t go, you wouldn’t run in to Steve today anyway.

After another five minutes of debating, you heaved yourself up and hurried into your bathroom. You got ready quickly, not going too overboard with trying to impress him. As you ran down the stairs, you shoved Clint out of the way.

“Woah!” He exclaimed. “What’s the rush?”

“Sorry, Clint!” You replied, not stopping. “I gotta go!”

When you finally got to the cafe, you were a few minutes late and Steve was already at an outside table. You noticed that he looked a little nervous. He was sketching in a notebook, knee bouncing under the table.

“Is this seat taken?” You asked, having walked quietly up to the table.

Steve’s head snapped up. He looked a little surprised and relieved to see you standing there. “Uh, no,” he smiled. He motioned to the seat across from him. “Be my guest.”

“Thank you,” you pulled out your chair and sat down. He handed you the menu. You took it before looking at the notebook on the table. There was a sketch of you on the open page. “Wow. Did you draw that?”

Steve quickly shut the book and set it in his lap. “You weren’t suppose to see that. Not yet, anyway.”

“Well, it was really good.”

“Thank you.”

“Why didn’t you go into art?”

“Doesn’t pay the bills. Plus, brains are more fun.”

You laughed. “I guess so.”

The two of you order food and sat there for a few hours talking. It was mostly him asking about you and you telling him extremely long stories. You had just finished one about you and your parents that left him laughing.

“You’re parents sound amazing,” Steve said, finishing off his laugh. “I would love to meet them some day.” 

You stopped, immediately looking sad. Just the thought of your parents caused you to remember something. The date. It would be the first anniversary of their deaths in two days.

“Y/N?” Steve broke you out of your trace. You looked at him, a furrowed brow and worried eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I… I should go,” you stood, scraping your chair against the ground as you did. Steve quickly stood up as well, surprised at your sudden need to leave. “I really need to go.”

You hurried out of the cafe’s fenced on section. You didn’t make it much farther before Steve’s large hand was around your bicep, stopping you.

“You’re surprising fast,” he tried to joke. You clearly weren’t having it. “What’s the rush?” He tried to study your eyes, they looked pained. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll see you at work, Steve. Please.” You tugged away from him. “I have to go.”

He stood there, watching, as you hurried off to your car and drove into traffic.

~~~

You went straight to the hospital, willingly taking someone’s shift to get your mind off everything. You did not want to remember it and you definitely didn’t want to drown yourself in grief. You were going to work it off.

By the time your intern friends got to the hospital, you had been there for 20 hours. You ate and caught sleep when you could but it was never very much. Valkyrie immediately came up to you and told you about a party she wanted to throw for her girlfriend that was coming into town. You agreed to it, absentmindedly since you were so tired, on the condition that it wouldn’t be very big.

Before you knew it, the day of the anniversary arrived, and you were doing everything possible to avoid thinking about it. Thankfully, you hadn’t seen Steve since you hurried away. You really didn’t want to explain it all to him. It was early morning when Dr. Banner pulled you into a surgery. You were holding the heart as he worked, with your fellow interns watching from the gallery.

“I wish I could hold a heart,” Scott whined.

“A monkey could hold a heart,” Natasha responded.

“You’re just mad that Banner didn’t ask you.”

“Has anyone noticed that Y/N’s been acting strange lately?” Clint asked, eyes trained on you below. “Like, more than usual.”

“I haven’t,” Natasha shrugged.

“She’s probably just having a bad day,” Scott said.

“Clint!” Val came into the gallery. “I need more ice and chips.”

“Who else did you invite, Val?” He asked.

“Val, we said the list was jocks only. Surgery, Trauma, Plastics.”

“I invited a few of the people from Peds.”

“Great!” Natasha scoffed. “You invited the kindergarteners to Y/N’s place. The next thing you’ll say is that you invited the shrinks.” Val winced. “You invited the mental defects? This party’s going to suck.”

“You know that Y/N thinks this is just going to be a little, small, meet-your-girlfriend cocktail thing, right?” Clint questioned.

“Yes. I’ll tell her the change in plans though. I promise.”

“Why are you wasting the only weekend your girlfriend is in town on a big party?” Natasha asked. “Is she bad in bed?”

“No,” Val chuckled. “I just want her to meet some of my friends.”

“Right. Sixty some odd geeks in scrubs are your friends.” Her pager went off, causing her to look at it and get up to leave. “Bad sex, sucks for you.”

“Did I hear correctly that there’s a party at Y/N’s house tonight?” Peter asked, leaning against the doorway.

“Oh really, a party?” Natasha responded, playing down.

“Uh, news to me,” Scott added.

“Yeah, no party,” Clint said.

~~~

The surgery was long, but amazing. Though it still didn’t help get your mind off the day.

“Hey,” Steve greeted, coming up beside you as you headed to the elevator. “I heard you did a CABG with Banner.”

“Yeah,” you responded.

“Did you get to hold the heart?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s an amazing feeling. You never forget your first time.”

“It was pretty great just to watch,” Clint said, sliding in between the two of you. “Vicarious thrills, you know?”

“Yeah,” you replied again, too caught up in your mind to do anything else.

The elevator dinged and you and Clint walked on. You turned around to see Steve, still standing outside the elevator, looking concerned.

“I’ll see you later,” he commented, the furrow of his brow never changing.

“Bye,” you responded as the doors shut. Clint was leaning back against the wall, watching you. It was eerily silent until you finally spoke. “My parents died a year ago today,” it was a whisper.

“What?” Clint stood up straight, coming towards you. “How—“

“They were driving in a canyon. The road was icy…. Dad lost control of the car… it dove off the cliff.”

“Oh my goodness. Y/N, I am so sorry.”

“I’ve never told anyone what happened before.” A single tear slipped down your cheek. “My parents… they were famous surgeons. I… I changed my last name after they died.”

“Y/N, who were they?” The elevator doors opened.

“I’ve got to go.” 

You rushed out, quickly disappearing in the crowd of doctors and nurses before Clint could follow you. You weren’t watching were you were going, in search for an on call room to break in. You rammed into someone, stumbling back. The person’s hands quickly landed on your biceps, holding you steady.

“Woah there,” Dr. Stark chuckled. “What’s the rush?”

You looked up, teary eyed and embarrassed. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Stark,” you rushed out. “Let me just—“

“Now, hold on a damn minute.” He got a good look at your face, there was clearly something wrong. “What’s going on?”

“Dr. Stark, I really don’t think—“

“Here.” He pulled you into an empty on call room. “Talk.”

“Dr. Stark, this isn’t appropriate.”

“Neither are the giant heart eyes my friend Steve has every time you walk by. You’re clearly upset, and I want to help. I was also friends with your parents.”

“What?”

“You’re parents are the reason I’m alive. I had an accident a few years back, shrapnel too close to my heart. They saved me. So, I owe it to them to watch over you.”

“You really don’t, Dr. Stark.”

“The name’s Tony.”

“Tony. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know what today is. I’ve been dreading this day for a week now. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.” You looked up, trying to blink away the tears. “Did you change your name because of the accident?”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of living in my dead parents shadows… it was too much.”

“Understood… does Steve know?”

“No.”

“You should tell him.”

“I don’t want people to know.”

“Yeah, but Steve isn’t people, is he?” You didn’t answer so Tony sighed. “Look, I have no right to tell you who you tell or don’t tell. But… Steve’s a good person. He’s been through his far share of struggles. He’d be just willing to listen, if that’s all you wanted.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Tony.”

“Anytime.” He walked to the door, opening it to head out. “Oh and, by the way,” he turned to look at you, “I’m totally rooting for the two of you.”

~~~

Natasha was standing at a nurses station, filling out some paperwork, when a cup of coffee was set beside her. She glanced over to see Dr. Banner, sipping his own cup, looking back at her.

“Just coffee,” he said with a nervous smile.

Natasha looked confused. “Good,” she responded.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Bruce gave her a nod before walking away. Closing what she was doing, Natasha hesitated before picking up the coffee and drinking it. Unknown to her, Bruce and Tony were peeking around the corner and watching her. Hiding back behind the corner, they high fived. 

“Look at what taking my advice can do, Bruce,” Tony exclaimed. 

“Alright, alright,” Bruce agreed. “Maybe I should listen a little more often.”

“Damn right you should.”

“Dr. Stark,” Dr. Potts called, heading towards the nurses station. “Please watch your language around the patients.” She began filling out a chart.

“My deepest apologies, Dr. Potts. We were just celebrating victory.” She still did not look impressed. “You know what would be even more worth celebrating? You, finally accepting a date from me.”

“Okay,” she replied, not bothering to look up.

“You’ve given me that excuse before, and it hasn’t stopped me— wait… did you just agree?”

“I did.” She handed over the chart to the nurse before facing Tony. “I’m only free Friday night. Will that work?”

“Um… yeah…”

“Pick me up in the lobby at 7.” Then Pepper strutted away.

“Look at you go, Tony,” Bruce laughed, putting an arm over his friends shoulders. “She finally said yes.”

“Yeah, and I have 3 surgeries and a meeting with the chief Friday night.”

Bruce grimaced. “Well, you’ll either have to cancel everything or just wine and dine her over a boob job.”

“I’m definitely going to need it covered.”

~~~

After your talk with Tony, you focused on helping a few patients. You were getting a file from the nurses station to help your next one when Steve walked up to you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, still concerned.

“Yeah, yeah,” you responded. “I’m good.”

“Are you sure? Cause you seem not okay.”

“I’m fine. The CABG was just long.”

“Well, let me take you out to dinner tonight. You can tell me all about it. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket.”

“I can’t.”

“Forget about the party.”

“You know about the party?”

“Your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else.”

“How do you know about the party?”

“Thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good.”

“I didn’t— it’s supposed to be a small get together. Nothing big.”

“Sure doesn’t sound that way to me. Anyway, dinner. Think about dinner.” His pager went off. He looked down at it before looking back at you. “I’ve got to go. But, think about it.”

~~~

Natasha, Clint, and Scott were sitting in the abandoned hallway as Val walked in.

“Okay, so the beer’s coming at 7,” she told them all. “And some of the floor nurses are bringing wine.”

“You invited nurses?” Natasha asked.

“Did you clear this with Y/N?” Scott asked.

“A few more people isn’t going to make a different. Okay? A party’s a party.”

“But it will,” Clint said. “She’s having a day.”

“And the bigger the party, the less time for bad sex with the girlfriend,” Natasha added.

“Would you stop saying that?” Val was getting annoyed. “Britt and I have great sex.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“All the time.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“In fact, we’ll probably have sex during and after the party.”

“As long as you clear the party with Y/N,” Clint cut in.

“Britt just needs to realize that doctors can have fun. That we’re not all workaholics with god complexes.”

“We are workaholics with god complexes.”

“Just please tell tell Y/N before the party,” Clint continued. “Just… please.”

~~~

Having a few moments to breathe, you sat in the lobby, staring out the window. You were flipping your cell phone in your hand. The few people left who knew you and what day it was had kept trying to call you, leaving long, saddened voicemails and texts. You were ignoring all of it, not wanting to try and make the others feel better when it was your day to be off.

“Hey,” Steve plopped down in the chair next to you. “I heard.”

“You heard what?” You were immediately scared about what he could have heard.

“That you and Tony had a talk.”

“Oh… did he tell you what we talked about?”

“No. He just told me that I should talk to you and let you have the day to not be okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. But that’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head and stood up from your chair. “We’re adults,” you started walking backwards so you could still face him. “When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?”

Steve stood up. “Y/N—“

“I’ll see you later, Dr. Rogers.”

You took your leaving, heading straight for the locker room. You had decided that you were heading to the cemetery, or to the bar across the street. It was time for you to head anyway.

~~~

“You paged me?” Clint questioned Val as he walked up to her.

“I’m gonna be a while,” she responded. “Do you think you could get home and sign for the beer?”

“Why don’t you have your girlfriend sign for it?” Peter asked, randomly showing up.

“You have a very annoying way of sneaking up on people. And you’re not invited.”

“I wouldn't come anyway. I hate big parties.”

“Is Y/N the only person in the medical center who doesn’t know the size of this thing?” Clint asked.

“I’m telling her,” Val said. “I’ll page her now.”

“You can’t,” Natasha said, walking up. “She’s gone already.”

“What? Already?”

“She’s been here for almost 48 hours. It was time for her to go.”

“You don’t think Y/N’s really going to mind about the party, right?”

“When you tell her, I want you to make it very clear to her that I had nothing to do with this party,” Clint responded. “Nothing.”

“Why? Do you—you like her!”

“N-no!”

“And not just as a roommate!”

“I’ve got to go.”

~~~

You decided to drive around instead of going to the cemetery or the bar. You headed to your house, knowing you’re late for the party. As you drove up, there were cars lining the street and lots of people heading into your house.

“Val, I’m going to kill you,” you murmured.

After finally finding somewhere to park, you walked into the house. There were people everywhere, and you didn’t recognize any of them. It was clear, as you walked through the crowd, that most of them were already drunk. The music was making the walls shake. Eventually, and thankfully, you found Clint.

“Where is Val?!” You shouted.

“She didn’t clear it with you?” Clint responded, holding a bottle of tequila.

“This was supposed to be a meet-the-girlfriend get together little thing!”

“Val has a lot of friends.”

“Val definitely doesn’t know this many people.”

“I told her to clear it with you.”

“I really can’t handle this right now.”

“You want me to kick everyone out? I’m gonna kick everyone out.”

“Y/N, baby! You made it!” A drunk Natasha exclaimed, dancing up to them. “Woo!”

“Screw it,” you gave in. “Give me this.” 

You ripped the tequila bootle from Clint’s hand and took a big swig of it. It burned but you didn’t care. You started dancing with Natasha. Clint soon joined the two of you. After the three of you were more drunk, you escaped into one of the empty side rooms.

“Why did we want to be surgeons anyway?” You wondered, laying on the floor.

“Surgery is a very serious business,” Clint responded before letting out a burp.

“Surgery is stupid. It’s stupid…. It’s stupid.” You took another long sip of a drink.

“Give me that,” Natasha took your drink from you. “You’re drunk.”

“I'm not driving. I'm not on call. I'm in my own house. My life is crap. And it's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to.”

Suddenly, a beautiful blond woman peeked her head in. “Is, um, Val here?” She asked.

“Oh, you must be Britt,” Natasha laughed, standing up. “You’re very model-like. And, no, Val’s not here right now.” She stumbled passed Britt and out of the room.

“You and Valkyrie are very beautiful,” Clint stated.

“Val said she was going to be at home,” Britt said, clearly uncomfortable as she looked around. “She didn’t say there was going to be a party.”

“Which, I promise you, pisses both of us off,” you slurred. “Tequila?” You lifted the bottle up. “It helps.”

“When do you think she’s gonna get here?”

“Don’t know. But… I do know I’m low on tequila, Britt.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. We’re interns, Britt. The hospital owns us. It’s what we do.”

Britt gave a fake smile before leaving.

“Bye!” Clint shouted after her.

“Nice to meet ya!” You added. “She was hot.”

~~~

Not too long later, you ended up in the front of your house, swaying drunkenly. Steve was out front too, hands stuffed in his pockets as he leaned against his car and watched you.

“You know,” he called out, bringing your attention to him, “in some states, you could get arrested for that.” You headed towards him. “So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila. Tequila’s no good for ya. It doesn’t call, doesn’t text. It doesn’t write. And it definitely isn’t as much fun to wake up to.”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled him in for a kiss, which he definitely wasn’t refusing.

“Take me for a ride, Steve,” you whispered.

Holding onto your waist, he opened the passenger seat car door. He sat down before pulling you onto him and shutting the door. You straddled him, kissing down his neck as he leaned back the seat. Your hands soon found the way to his shirt. Tugging at the ends, he got the hint and took it off. You lost your breath for a moment. You had seen him before but you had forgotten how gorgeous the man beneath you actually was.

“What’s wrong, doll?” He asked, softly caressing your cheek.

“Nothing,” you responded. “I just…” You trailed off before kissing him again, this time getting more heated.

~~~

After a good round of sex, even from the passenger seat, Steve pulled his shirt over your shoulders.

“You know…” he started as you leaned in and kissed his bare shoulder, “it sounds like the party’s winding down.” You slowly started trailing kisses up his neck. “Listen to me,” he laughed, pushing you to sit up. “We should probably sneak inside.”

“I actually think we’ve done enough sneaking for the night,” you replied. “It was good sneaking, but enough.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “I’d say we’re pretty good sneakers.”

He pulled you down for a kiss. You were quickly interrupted by a tapping on your window. As you hurried and separated, you saw that it was Gamora.

“You mind moving this tail wagon?” She asked, clearly annoyed. “You’re blocking me in.”

“Apparently not good enough,” Steve said as you groaned and rested your head on Steve’s shoulders.

“I’m so fired,” you muttered.

~~~

You woke up in the morning with a splintering headache and a trashed house. You couldn’t deal with either immediately though as you were going to be late to work. Going downstairs with Scott and Clint, Val walked into the house.

“Holy mother of destruction,” she exclaimed, looking around.

“You missed doctor-palooza,” you responded, heading to the kitchen to find something to eat.

“Apparently, you all didn’t.” She observed the tiredness of the three of you.

“I should probably never speak to you again.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea it was going to get so—“

“It’s fine. Really, I don’t care. What would I be doing anyway?” Clint handed you a bottle of water before him and Clint headed out of the house, with you following. “I’m not cleaning this up though!”

~~~

Natasha was walking down the hall when she noticed a tired Doctor Banner enter an on call room. She slipped in, locking the door behind her. Bruce looked up, having already taken off his shoes and shirt.

“Thanks for the coffee,” Natasha said.

Getting a surge of confidence, Bruce walked over and kissed her. Beginning to kiss more passionately, they undressed each other.

“You’re welcome,” Bruce mumbled.

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.7)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Seven) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 3,097 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Notes: I really like writing scenes of them working because… it’s hot. So, part of this is me indulging myself.

Part Six || Part Eight || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Steve got back onto the plane, sitting down as soon as he could. He was covered in sweat, having had to run back to the plane. He had sent Natasha ahead of him, insisting he could finish the mission on their escape. He had succeeded too.

“You alright, Cap?” Clint called from the cockpit.

“Yeah,” Steve answered as heartily as he could. He wiped at his forehead, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“Must have been a tough sprint if it wore your ass out,” Tony commented from further into the plane.

“Got it done,” Steve responded, to a smirk from Tony.

As he relaxed, he pulled out his phone from the bag on the table next to him. He opened it, searching the cameras of the house for Y/N. It was something he did regularly when he was away; he liked keeping an eye on her whenever he could. He enjoyed watching her do regular things, even when doing nothing like sleeping. She was tranquil and he loved her pensive looks when she was reading or focusing on knitting.

Now though, she was racing through the house towards the front door and his brow furrowed in curiosity of what had her so excited.

He switched cameras to the driveway and saw a car pulling in. He straightened up in alarm, trying to zoom in on the driver. He relaxed, remembering their conversation a few days ago. He had told her that she could have her friends visit soon. She had technically asked but had not clarified when.

<> <> <>

They were here!

You came down the stairs as quickly as you could. Natalie and Yua had driven up upon your request. You told them Steve was going to be on a mission across the country, so it would be okay for them to come over for a few hours.

In the main living room, Bryce was talking to the front gate saying he was not informed any visitors were coming.

“It’s my friends!” you told him, slowing down next to him. He shot you a look of surprise. “Tell the gate to let them in or I’ll run down the driveway and push the button myself.”

“Did you ask Mr. Rogers? Does he know?”

“Yes!” you called over your shoulder. You were barefoot, not stopping to grab shoes. It was warm enough out being late summer.

<> <> <>

Bryce stared after Y/N confused. Steve had told him no such thing. He watched her disappear around the corner, and said into the phone, “Yeah, let them in.”

<> <> <>

Steve watched Y/N come out the front door – wearing no shoes at that – excitedly. She practically threw herself into their arms. Jealousy crawled over his skin; she had not done that for him for a couple months. She responded when he initiated sex and kissed him when he came home. But it was never with that much enthusiasm. Perhaps it was her pregnancy hormones; it is what he had to chalk it up to to avoid outright anger.

He dialed Bryce’s number and held it up to his ear.

“Don’t let them stay too long,” Steve ordered Bryce as soon as he answered.

“She did ask you, correct? She said she did.”

“Yes… she did,” Steve said with some difficulty. “I am just irritated I had not been informed exactly when she meant. But she did ask. We just have guests coming over later, remember?”

“Of course. I haven’t forgotten, sir,” Bryce replied.

“Good. I want Y/N to be able to freshen up with enough time. She doesn’t need to spend the whole afternoon giggling like a schoolgirl with her friends. And no, they can’t stay for dinner. Because I know she’s going to ask.”

He hung up the phone.

“She’s quite the little handful sometimes,” Tony commented lightly. “A foxy little handful. But a handful nonetheless.”

“Unfortunately,” Steve muttered in response, returning to the camera.

“You ever watch her shower on there when she’s alone?”

“Jesus, Tony.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Tony returned quickly. Steve gave a little laugh and Tony chuckled, wagging his finger at him. “See. I knew it. Nothing to be ashamed of. She is ultimately yours after all. Totally okay to be examining your most prized possession.”

“Who is over there?” Natasha asked.

“Her friends, Natalie and Yua.” Natasha perked up at the mention of Natalie and Steve noticed. He shook his head, “No. Not happening.”

Natasha mocked a pout, “Oh, come on, Steve. I don’t rough girls up too bad. She seemed interested enough. Even if she was seeing someone at the time. She may be single now.”

“Not happening, Nat. I don’t want anyone else there so we can talk freely.”

“Fine. Buzzkill,” Natasha muttered, leaning back in her chair.

<> <> <>

“Twins?” Yua and Natalie exclaimed at the same time as soon as you told them.

You nodded, cracking open your pop and taking a swift drink. You had asked the maid, Patricia, to whip up some sandwiches to have lunch with them. The three of you were seated in the living room, plates in your laps.

“Yeah. Can you fucking believe it? My first pregnancy and I get slammed with this.”

“Well, I won’t deny you got slammed—” Yua started.

“Oh, shut it,” Natalie cut in, slapping Yua upside the head.

“Ow! Okay, well, also, look at your tummy! I wouldn’t believe that you would be already showing like that if it were just one baby!”

“Yua! God!” Natalie scolded. “It’s not that big, Y/N.”

“It’s going to get a lot bigger,” you joked, a smiling tugging at your lips.

“See, Y/N can take a joke. Why can’t you, Natalie?”

You smiled at their banter, a feeling of loss tugging at your heart. You had missed last month and the month before girl’s night much to everyone’s disappointment. You had vowed to not make that mistake again which is why you had asked Steve if your friends could visit and he had agreed without much resistance, shockingly.

“How are you going to take care of two babies?” Natalie asked seriously as you picked up half of your sandwich, taking a bite.

“A nanny.”

She cocked her head in surprise. “Like… live in?”

You shrugged, “I’m not sure yet. Pepper is going to come over at some point and help me interview people.”

“Pepper?”

“Um, Tony’s wife.”

“First name basis with them now. Nice,” Yua said, nodding in approval. “You’re in with the big people now. Thanks for honoring my request to remember us little people. But, do you really want a live in nanny? If you do, you should get one that’s not too comely. Don’t want Steve Jude Law’ing you or anything.”

“Honestly, if he gave me a break, I might actually welcome the reprieve.”

“I TOLD you. Sex addict!” Yua exclaimed, throwing her hands out, her mouth full of sandwich. “I mean, the pregnancy—" You shushed her, trying not to laugh. You knew Bryce was nearby and you did not want him to overhear. She quieted down and whispered, “I told you. Didn’t I?”

Time flew by; sandwiches long gone, replaced by a bag of chips that were on their way to being completely demolished had taking their place. When you were interrupted with a clearing of a throat, the three of your eyes fell upon Bryce standing in the doorway from the hallway.

“Mr. Rogers said three hours. You still have to get ready for dinner tonight.”

“Oh…” you said, heat tinging your cheeks at being told you had a schedule to keep in front of your friends. Especially since dinner was mentioned and he was essentially telling you you needed to kick them out. “But, there is room—”

“Mr. Rogers said the team only,” Bryce cut in, only looking slightly apologetic at having to tell you that no, you could not ask your friends to stay.

“Dinner? And you didn’t invite us?” Yua teased.

“It’s with the team only, apparently…” you trailed off, shooting a quick glance at Bryce. He nodded once before turning to leave the room. “Steve wanted them over so we could break the news about the babies to everyone.”

“Oh, so we were the first you told? Perfect. I love feeling special,” Yua chirped, not seeming bothered by the fact she could not stay. Natalie on the other hand looked reserved; she had always been more perceptive than Yua.

“Of course you’re special, Yua,” you said, standing up from the couch. “I suppose we should… start saying goodbye. Have to make sure my hair is nice and all.”

Standing outside, Natalie turned to face you before getting into the passenger side. She leaned in, staring at you. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked, the playfulness from moments ago having disappeared from her face. She was solemn, studying you closely.

You forced a smile, “I’ve got to be okay.”

“No. You don’t.”

“I know,” you whispered, giving her hand a squeeze. “It’s not all bad though.”

She exhaled heavily, looking dissatisfied with your answer. “Not all bad doesn’t mean good, Y/N.”

“It’s just… different,” you said, choosing your words carefully. “And I’m nervous. I mean, giving birth to one baby is terrifying. But going through the pain twice? What if they fight to be the first one out?”

That at least made Natalie laugh, relaxing the tension. You took the opportunity to pull her in for one last hug.

“Call us. For anything.”

“I will.”

As soon as they disappeared out of the gate, you felt weight pressing down on you again. You were alone once more. The mere few hours you had together had been reprieve but it had been far too short.

Annoyance built up in you at Steve refusing to let them stay for dinner. Deciding right there, you thought to hell with looking perfect. Simple hair, leggings, and winged eyeliner was the best he was going to get. You turned to go back inside and let Patricia know she could go home because you were going to be the one cooking dinner.

<> <> <>

Pepper sighed heavily settling into one of the tall plush chairs at Steve’s – well, your – kitchen island.

“Where’s Patricia?” she questioned, seeing you removing the chicken from the marinade Patricia had let it sit in for the better part of the day. You arranged it in two prepared pans, enough pieces for thirteen people, including Bryce and Eloise.

“I sent her home early.”

“Oh?”

You shrugged, “I wanted to cook the dinner myself. She’s wonderful but I wanted to do it myself. It calms me down. Always has.” You checked the clock and saw it was almost 5:00pm. Dinner was supposed to be at 6:00pm. The chicken would take thirty, so you decided to wait another ten minutes before putting it in.

“As long as you don’t poison me,” Pepper joked as her nanny, Eloise, came into the room, bouncing her baby. She smiled, “Oh, is she awake now? Ugh, she’s probably going to keep me up all night. Something to look forward to, Y/N.”

“Wonderful,” you said under your breath as you went into the pantry to look for the potatoes.

Pepper spoke to Morgan, playing with her as you turned the heat up to high on the stovetop to get the water boiling and began chopping the potatoes. Skin on, you thought to yourself. That is where most of the nutrients were anyway and Steve could not complain about you getting more nutrients now could he? You were going to roast them too.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself remembering you were going to roast them. You moved to the fridge quickly to grab the baking soda and eyeballed the amount to toss in.

“What are you doing?” Pepper asked from the counter.

“Baking soda helps draw the starch to the surface and then when you bake them, it makes them extra crispy.”

“Interesting,” Pepper commented, sounding genuine. She eyed your stomach and said, “Are you wearing a loose sweater on purpose? Hiding a baby bump?”

Snorting, you lied, “There’s not much to see yet.”

“You’ll start showing more soon enough. You’re almost four months along now,” Pepper told you.

“Steve is very excited for that.”

“Men love seeing it because it makes them prideful that they put a baby there. But they’re not the ones growing the baby, are they?” Pepper noticed your stare over your shoulder, and she laughed. “Well, it’s true. I think women are our own brand of superhero. Our bodies are powerful. You should be proud of yourself. You’re doing something remarkable.”

You refrained from telling her she sounded a little Handmaid’s Tale-ish. It was true, of course. Your body held a special kind of magic to grow another human being. But like Bucky, she sounded like she was trying to coerce your thoughts and feelings to be more accepting of the situation.

“It’s not what I had planned for myself,” you finally said after debating about what to say. You opened the oven to slide the pans with the chicken inside. Now to prep the salad. Shit, you also needed to get the wine.

“Me either.”

You stopped what you were doing, standing still to give her your full attention.

“I hoped I would be on the board at Stark Industries. It took a long time for me to admit to myself I liked Tony, first off. His attention he gave me, his sarcastic wit. Yes, he was a little forceful, but he saw something there that I refused to see because I was so focused on getting a leg up in the company.” She was explaining all of this to you calmly, but you sensed some hurt beneath the surface. She gave you an encouraging smile all the same as she said, “Things don’t always work out the way you plan. But it doesn’t make it the end of your life. Just life as you knew it. Change doesn’t mean everything is falling apart.”

“And… you’re satisfied being home and taking care of a baby then?”

Pepper was quiet for a moment. “Most of the time.” She shot you a look. “I think you understand Steve and Tony are very much alike in their… ways and temperament. There will be days you pine for what could have been. But it’s best to keep that to yourself. It’s not worth the fight.”

She sounded like she was speaking from experience.

“I have a different sort of power now. You ever seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding? ‘The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.’” She leaned in. “Make him happy and you can have him wrapped around your finger. It makes things easier. For everyone.”

You bit back a comment, nodding in its stead.

“Trust me,” she said, leaning back in her chair, turning her attention back to Morgan who had began pulling at her hair. She poked Morgan’s tummy gently, smiling, “You little hooligan. I spent a long time on these curls. Daddy loves them, don’t go ruining it for him.”

Self-consciously, you touched at your hair that you had barely spent any time on. It looked fine but you had not put any extra effort into it. You had already made your choice though: a good dinner and sticking it to Steve subtly about waving off his ‘freshen up’ idea for you or do exactly as he asked, letting someone else cook the meal for the guests coming to your home. You had chosen the former.

A line of cars rolling up the driveway caught your attention out the window, and you told Pepper, “Looks like they’re here.”

You went back to attending to the potatoes, prepping them for the oven.

Tony came in first, much to Pepper’s happiness. She rose to give him a kiss and he commented that she looked lovely. He said hello to Morgan, tickling her, before his gaze fell on you. You could feel the heat of his stare on your back.

“Y/N is cooking?” Tony questioned. “Where’s the cook?”

You looked over your shoulder and said with more conviction than you felt, “I sent her home. Wanted to do it myself.”

“Hmm.” His expression and tone were unreadable, which made you slightly more nervous. Gauging his reaction would help you determine what Steve’s was going to be more accurately. “What have you guys been talking about?”

“Nothing, just cooking tips,” Pepper told him without missing a beat. She held Morgan up to him. “Your daughter is in need of some cuddles from her father.”

Steve walked in next with Bucky, Sam, and Clint. His eyes fell on you, running over you quickly. He was stoic for a few moments, taking it in. Your resolve to be a brat was dissolving quickly, even if you knew he would not cause a scene in front of everyone. There was ice behind his eyes, if only for a moment that you caught.

“Seems Y/N is doing the honors of making our meal. What a treat,” Tony said to Steve and you knew then what his real feelings were about you cooking. You had a maid for a reason, that was the message.

The mask Steve donned was well crafted. “Truly. She hasn’t cooked me anything since we first started seeing each other. I have faith in her.”

He came over to you and now that his back was to everyone, you could see the truth in his eyes. He was not pleased with the situation, which had been your goal. Steve’s hand rested on your stomach, his nose nuzzling into your hair, inhaling deeply.

“We’ll talk about it as soon as everyone leaves,” he whispered into your ear. He placed a quick kiss on the side of your face before pulling away.

The dinner had gone well, everyone satisfied with the meal and even more happy with the announcement. That still did not quell Steve’s disappointment in your choice to be preoccupied with cooking rather than entertaining and spending quality time with your new pseudo-family. Talk about it you did not though. As soon as everyone left, Steve turned away from the door, not sparing you a look. He did not answer his study door when you knocked and called his name. You slept alone and cold. He shut you out and you hated to admit how much the rejection stung more than if he had yelled at you.

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters

[madswritingvoid]

Say You’re Sorry

Pairing: Max Phillips x f!reader

Words: 3k (oops haha)

Warnings: SMUT. 18+ only. Oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, p in v sex, fingering, swearing, slight choking, first time writing smut should probably be a warning itself, sexism, Max Phillips is a warning probably.

You knew it was a bad idea. Well, actually, no you didn’t. Not fully. The voice in your head was just screaming at you to stop - there were other ways to get his attention. Other ways to make Max feel bad for what he did during the Synersavers presentation that didn’t require you stooping this low. Fuck it, you figured, if he can go around and do whatever he wants to get his way then so can I.

Fixing your hair and outfit in the mirror one last time, you went back into the office looking for the desk you usually avoid like the plague. Max Phillips, fuck you.

Earlier That Day

“So you see, Mr. Jacobson, our third quarter projections have us coming in on top by two million dollars and the fourth quarter is looking even better. I mean really champ, if these numbers were anymore amazing they’d be as hot as your associate there in that fetching skirt,” Max winks at the woman taking meeting minutes for your potential new client, causing her skin to blotch, “fucking unreal. Pardon my French,” he finishes, earning a big laugh from the CEO of Synersavers, the new bullshit placebo pill that was supposed to alter the brain’s natural neural pathways to promote synergy. You weren’t sure what dreams synergy was helping pathetic humans to achieve, but it meant a bonus if they signed on so you made sure that PowerPoint presentation was the best slides of your career.

You scoff, worried that if you roll your eyes they’ll get stuck. You know Max Phillips was quite the charmer, you knew better than anyone in the office. This past year saw him go from being just your hot vampire boss you had a crush on, to your hot vampire boss that was now your boyfriend. 

While you never made an official statement to your coworkers, you quietly signed the papers Amanda in HR needed signed and let the sound of you screaming Max’s name in his office while he was balls deep inside you let the rest of your coworkers know of your relationship. Overall, Max was a great boyfriend. Better than expected even - attentive, caring, protective to a fault, all while still being that loveable (?) piece of shit frat boy extraordinaire he had been at the beginning. 

You knew he still had to lay on the charm to close sales from time to time, never actually violating your relationship in any way, but after the fight you had this morning you didn’t think flirting with the only person in the meeting who did not actually control whether or not this partnership was going to happen right in front of you was the best move.

“Mr. Phillips,” Jacobson says, once again only acknowledging Max and completely ignoring you as he had been for the entire presentation, “you got quite the silver tongue. But I like that about ya, I think you get what our product is all about and I wanna make this partnership work. I’m surprised your presentation is as good as it was, because if you’ll pardon my French, if my secretary looked as delicious as yours does I’d be too busy fucking her left, right, and centre to even think about the fourth quarter anything!” He laughs and claps Max on the shoulder and you tense up, sure that Max is going to say something. Not even because he’s your boyfriend, but because he landed the sale and doesn’t have to be as sleazy as this dickhead is. 

“See that’s where you’re wrong Jacobson, it’s almost like I’m working double to avoid her. Just doesn’t get the mojo flowing, y’know? Maybe we should switch, what do you think sweetheart?” He looks over at the still flustered secretary, “Come on and work for me and we’ll work on some new ways of making synergy happen,” he wags his eyebrows and you’re surprised this poor woman hasn’t slid right off her seat. You’re stunned. Even as Mr. Jacobson laughs and brings a laughing Max into some sort of capitalist bro hug, you can’t bring yourself to move. It isn’t until you hear the squeak of the wheels from the chair Mr. Jacobson’s secretary was sitting against the shitty meeting room carpet that you snap back to the present and shut everything down. By the time you finish everyone is long gone, leaving you to stew in your rage.

A hesitant knock on the meeting room door makes you jump as you’re met with a sheepish looking Evan in the doorway. You were never a big fan of Evan when you started, kind of thought he was a wimp but he was nice enough. After getting with Max and learning their shared history, you couldn’t stand Evan, but were able to be far more professional when needed until Max.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was still in here after Max and the Synersavers people left,” he shrugged. “What the fuck do you mean Max left with them?” You asked through clenched teeth. Scratching the back of his neck nervously, Evan took a deep breath before telling you, “yeah, um. They left for a late liquid lunch from what it sounded like, Max said you would be too busy learning how to make a paper clip bracelet to join them… Sorry, he’s such an asshole. You don’t deserve that, especially not from that bastard,” He couldn’t meet your eyes. Even though he still tried to tell you to leave Max every single day, you appreciate him being there this time.

There were many things you could be mean to Evan for, but deep down you knew he didn’t deserve the wrath of your anger this time. 

Later That Afternoon

After taking the elevator up to the office to mentally cleanse his mind from that mindless lunch with that absolute creep Jacobson, Max was trying to come up with the best apology for you. He knew he didn’t have to be so forward flirting with that secretary, what the fuck was her name anyways, in order to win the sexist CEO over. But he was feeling petty after your fight while you were getting ready for work he figured it wouldn’t hurt to remind you that many other women find him quite the catch.

“You’re lying! You have to be lying!! There’s no way that happened oh my god,” Max stops dead in his tracks as he hears your giggles from inside the office. “It is! I totally saw Tim practising the dance moves the day after that Kelly Clarkson concert in the men’s washroom. I didn’t even know she had dancers, but from what I saw it really must have been a hell of a show,” Evan says as you throw your head back and let out another over-the-top cackle. You’re sitting on top of Evan’s desk, resting your hand on his shoulder as he sits in between your open legs, clearly enjoying the attention. 

You’re hamming it up, he knows that, he knows that’s not what your real laugh sounds like - the laugh he gets to hear when he really does something that you like. He knows you don’t mean it but he’s immediately flooded with anger and guilt. He obviously didn’t realize how much the day had taken a toll on you and now you must be really mad if you’re going to Evan to get back at him.

“Oh my god Evan that’s too funny,” you giggle and place a hand on his shoulder, “you just made my day! I won’t tell Tim anything, it’ll be our little secret,” you wink. Evan’s blush deepens at the touch, maybe you weren’t so bad after all and if Max (and Amanda at this point) didn’t look out he would maybe ask you out for a drink sometime soon. Bring you back to the land of the living.

Deciding he’s absolutely had enough, Max quietly comes up behind Evan and slaps both hands on his shoulders after seeing you move yours back to your lap, causing him to freeze and let out a little squeak. “Slugger, I’m sure whatever’s going on here is just too funny, but didn’t I ask you to finish up that presentation for tomorrow’s meeting with NuevaWeight?” he pouts, “I really thought you were taking this job seriously buddy, but maybe I should just get Andrew to take over…”

“N-no Max, sorry. Yeah the presentation is almost done, it’ll be ready before the end of the day,” Evan stammers. Max finally meets your eyes and smirks, “and you can meet me in my office. Apparently you think you can stop doing your job and distracting my employees.”

You can’t even speak, your jaw set and eyes burning from the absolute rage you feel right now. Yeah you’ll meet him in his office, but it won’t be so he can lecture you about whatever bullshit he’s already thought of. “Of course Mr. Phillips, meet you there,” you manage to snap back, calmly making your way to his office. Anyone walking by you immediately gets out of your way, your anger coming off in waves making your undead coworkers shiver.

Clapping Evan on the shoulder one more time, Max saunters over to his office, ready to make you beg for his forgiveness after that little stunt. As soon as he opens his office door he realizes that won’t be happening.

You’re sitting in his chair, legs propped up on his desk in a way that makes your skirt ride up and expose more thigh than what HR might deem office appropriate. “Ah, Mr. Phillips, so nice of you to make it,” you smirk. “Sweets, I think there must be some sort of misunderstandi-'' you cut him off with a dark look and stand up. Walking up to him you close his office door and push him against it, “No champ,” you sneer, “I think you’re confused here. I’m not the one who decided to be a very, very bad boy by flirting with someone else and insulting me in front of new clients.” Chest to chest, your hand slithers up to grab Max’s throat. Even though he is a vampire who could toss you around like a ragdoll, you know he’s letting you be in control. He likes it.

“While you were out entertaining I’ve been thinking about what I could do to make you really sorry, baby. You were already on thin ice from this morning, but now you’re drowning,” you squeeze a little harder on his throat making his eyes roll back. “What are you gonna do? I’m so sorry,” he whispers. You take a moment, just looking into those eyes you love so much, before answering.

“Maybe I’ll sit on your cock. Let you fill my pussy up but not let you cum, because only good boys get to come, you know that Maxie. Maybe I’ll just use you like my own walking, talking dildo. If I’m so replaceable you won’t mind not getting to fill me up? Right?” You smirk again as he whines, his hands clenching because all he wants to do is make you feel good now. 

“You wanna run that mouth, Phillips? You wanna make everything think you’re so fucking special when I know you’re really just a scared little vamp, huh?” You say with a pout. Grabbing his hair, you force his head up so you can look right into his eyes that are now almost completely black from lust. “Come on big shot, if you wanna be a big boy then you gotta show me that mouth can do something other than just spew bullshit, slugger.” 

That’s all the permission he needs. He hoists you up in his arms and thanks to vampire speed you’re now sat on his leather couch, skirt up around your waist, underwear ripped clean off, fully exposed to his hungry eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he pouts, “let me make you feel good. I just want you-” You’ve heard enough, pushing him down so his mouth finally reaches your core. Moaning at finally tasting you, Max wastes no time taking your clit and sucking hard, already teasing your entrance with one of his long fingers. 

“Y-Yes Max, fuck! Be a good boy and make me cum just like this,” you moan and clench around the finger inside of you, knowing you’re absolutely dripping onto the couch underneath you. He adds a second, then a third, making you arch your back until you’re almost sitting up from how good he’s fucking you with his hands. His mouth doesn’t stop, sucking and licking, spelling out his apologies against your body. Knowing you’re close, he starts focusing on that spot inside of you that drives you wild. 

“Oh! Oh, Maxie yes. Such a g-good boy,” you pant, meeting his hand thrust for thrust trying to reach your high, “make me feel so good please please please baby I’m right there, I-” you can’t finish that sentence as your vision goes white and all you can do is let out a strangled moan that sounds like his name.

Once your legs start shaking you pull both of you up, undoing his belt and pushing him onto the couch so you can straddle his waist. You wrap a hand around his neck and start nipping at the area, rocking your soaked pussy along his aching cock that was now free from the confines of his dress pants a few times before sinking down on him. A wicked grin stretches across your face as his moans get louder. He chokes when he feels you gush around him, not expecting you to come again so soon but you were still sensitive from his mouth, the hair above his cock rubbing deliciously against your clit, but you wanted more still. 

Picking up the pace, you squeeze around his throat again and start taunting him, “You gonna replace me baby? Yeah? You gonna find a pussy that takes you this good? Be my guest. Go right now and find something better, or show me how goddamn sorry you are.”

Granting him permission to take over, Max flips you on your back, making sure your head is supported by one of the couch cushions. He immediately wraps your legs around his waist, angling one leg to let him sink even deep inside of you, your moans mixing together as you both revel in the feeling of him finally being inside of you. Wanting to prove himself he wastes no time pulling out just to start slamming back into you. 

You moan and clench around him, making him hiss and he doesn’t let up. Watching him disappear inside of you over and over again, he starts babbling his apologies. “N-Never baby. Could never replace you. Never gonna find a pu-pussy this fucking good. Look at you, so perfect, so so perfect taking my cock like that. I’m sorry. You’re so good. I don’t deserve it, it’s- fuck it’s so fucking good. Best pussy of all time,” he moans as you clamp down on him, your third orgasm ripping through you. 

“Yes - yes Max, that’s fucking r-right. I’m the best pussy you’ll ever have,” you moan again from being so full. You know he’s sorry so you decide to let him finish after all. Taking your hands off his shoulders, you start tangling your fingers in his hair and bring his face close to your so your lips are almost touching, “you did so good Maxie,” you coo, “you cock made me feel so fucking good I know you’re sorry now.” He shudders at your words but keeps his steady pace, trying to make you cum again, still holding back his own impending orgasm. “Thank you baby, ‘m so so sorry, I love you and I just wanna be good for you-” “shhh shhh Maxie, I know I know. You did good baby, now show me how good you are and cum inside of me.” 

That’s all he needs. 

Something between a groan and growl comes deep from within Max as he finally lets go, pushing himself as far as he can inside of you as he starts painting your walls. Coming down from his high, he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck as you start peppering him with kisses wherever you can reach, carding your fingers through his hair.

“I’m really sorry baby,” you hear him mumble into your neck, “I love you.” He kisses along your throat and you hum, moving your head to give him more access. “I know Max, I love you too. I forgive you. But try that again and I’ll cut your dick off in front of the whole office,” you laugh.

He chuckles too, continuing to shower you with love. “As much as I want to stay right here forever baby, let’s go home and I can keep showing you how sorry I am,” he suggests, wiggling his eyebrows to earn a giggle from you, “sounds good Maxie, you’re lucky I’m just sooooo forgiving.”

Untangling from each other and making yourselves as presentable as you care to be, you leave the office hand-in-hand, ready to see what the rest of the night has in store.