#in other news this issue almost made me cry. the moon rocks...

[scanndan]

JL: You made Batman smile?

Lateef: What, like it's hard?

Superman (2016) #41

[theonewiththefanfics]

Don’t Worry, Darling (one-shot)

Synopsis: Falling in love with a co-star is something that can hurt, especially when it seems like they’re talking to other people behind your back, but falling in love with a co-star and being unable to help when they’re sick, is even worse.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT 

Warnings: COVID-19, sickness, swearing, SMUT (fingering, m going down on f, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

Word count: 11 968 (yoikes)

Please note I’m not trying to make light of the pandemic or the virus and those impacted by it. It’s a very real and serious thing, which is why I decided to use it. Please stay safe and healthy, follow the local health guidelines and if you have the ability please get vaccinated. Let’s keep ourselves and one another safe, frens :)

When Y/N got the call she’d gotten the role of Jack’s ex-wife who’d disappeared in mysterious circumstances, she was over the moon. As a Marvel alumnus, she was excited to work with Florence, as she’d loved Midsommar, and knowing she was going to be one of the new faces carrying the next Marvel chapter, she wanted to get to know her. Having played Tony Stark’s adopted daughter since the age of six, she was very protective of the franchise but was excited to see where it’d go.

      Then Shia LaBeouf, Chris Pine as well with Dakota Johnson’s announcements coming soon after, Y/N got even more stoked, and with Olivia Wilde leading all of them, she was sure the movie would be a hit.

      Shia and Dakota had to drop out due to scheduling issues (which Y/N couldn’t lie – she was kind of happy Shia couldn’t do it), and that's where Harry Styles took over the role of Jack with Kiki Layne Dakota’s Margaret.

      Now, when Y/N had seen Harry’s picture next to the re-cast e-mail the whole production had been sent out, she might’ve had a little (a massive, like a ginormous) freak-out. As much as she’d grown up listening to classic rock, due to Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man, she’d been an avid One Direction fan. Like to the point, it might even seem a bit creepy. Y/N had sort of grown out of the obsessive phase of it all, but most definitely admired the solo albums they’d been able to produce, and when Dunkirk came out, she was excited to see Harry join the acting world, with the amount of talent he had.

      The first table read was sort of awkward, and definitely the weirdest one, given how a pandemic had started, and everyone was at their respective homes using Zoom. 

      Y/N and Florence had been the first to join the conversation about half an hour before the official beginning, and by the time everyone else did, they were crying from laughter and had to excuse themselves from their computers to collect whatever remaining composure they had. 

      “You two alright?” Oliva Wilde had raised her eyebrow, as the women re-joined, still chuckling. “Will we have to use body doubles for the scenes you two are in?”

      “No!

      “Nohooo!” both of them yelled through laughter. “We’ll be as professional as professionals are. Which is very professional.”

      Then Y/N made the mistake of glancing at Florence’s square, and the two busted out laughing again, spewing apologies in between, but no one seemed to really mind. In fact, it looked like they appreciated how casual and open everyone was being, hoping the set wouldn’t be stiff either when they moved onto filming.

      And for the two women, it wasn’t really. Actually, they grew closer than ever. The amount of time Florence spent in Y/N’s trailer was to the point that the two started to talk about just moving in together. After scouring the nearby apartments for rent, they settled on a three-bedroom apartment, as two-bedroom ones were non-existent. 

      When Harry grew closer to them as well, given how he spent quite some time with both women, they suggested he move in as well.

      “You know, what? I changed my mind. You’re taking away our closet, and I don't like that,” Y/N pouted, watching as Florence lifted a pile of her clothes and moved it to her room. “That’s not very ‘treat people with kindness’ of you.”

      All he did was flick a finger at her forehead, which Y/N swatted away with a smile. When he’d double-checked about moving in with them (which, mind you was the seventh time, and half his stuff was already there), the two women were ecstatic. They got along amazingly on set and basically having a sleepover with friends every night suited all of them quite well. 

      At that moment, Y/N was sitting on the edge of her bed, knitting while Harry painted all of their toes and Florence put on facemasks.

      “Wine!” Y/N suddenly exclaimed, almost knocking over the light blue nail polish bottle as she jumped up, throwing her needles back on the bed. “We need wine!”

      “Do not ruin my masterpiece!” Harry hollered after her, as she waddled away on her heels, toes separated by foam and hight up in the air. She even had to manoeuvre around the carpet to avoid any hairs and fibres that could get stuck inside the still wet lacquer.

      It took her a second to find a bottle all three of them could enjoy, given their tastes were so different – Y/N preferred sweet and red, and didn’t care if it was a three-dollar bottle from Target, Harry had a bit more of an expensive pallet, giving preference to something with a more of a lingering aftertaste and in the higher ranges of price point, while Florence liked rosé and white wines.  

      Taking two glasses in one hand and the bottle with a third glass between her fingers, she shuffled back to her room when she heard the two muttering something in low voices before Harry whispered harshly, “I’m not telling Y/N that!” 

      “Won’t me what?” Y/N’s question made him and Florence spring back where they’d been engaged in a heated conversation when she re-entered the room, putting the wine bottle and glasses on the nightstand.

      Florence waved her off, giving her a smile, she didn’t believe in. “Nothing. Now come on, Harry will do your fingernails now, and I think it’s about time the mask came off.”

      And that’s when Y/N’s heart dropped. She’d been in the industry long enough to know how fake people could be, how they could put on smiles so inviting and friendly while hiding their true intentions behind them. She just didn’t think two people she’d found so genuine and sweet would be like that.

      And the thing was – it wasn’t the first time she’d heard the two whispering like that and hushing up when they saw her enter the room or even come somewhere near to them. 

In the beginning, Y/N had chalked it up to the two being closer, given they had to spend more time together, so they knew one another better, but this time sort of solidified it wasn’t the fact the two were closer, it had to deal with Y/N specifically.

      So, she started to distance herself. She’d had enough users in her life to last her for the rest of it. Y/N excused herself from the movie nights they had on most Fridays, she no longer joined in on the cooking sessions and mostly spent time in her room, or on work calls.

      When she re-entered the flat, four weeks after their falling out, they watched as she nodded to them, and went inside her room, closing the door, much like she’d been doing for the past thirty days. 

      “Do you think she knows?” Harry asked, brows furrowed and bottom lip between his teeth as he hoped the doors would open, yet, obviously, they didn’t. 

      “Well, I haven’t told her, and unless you did, then I doubt it…”

      Harry stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna talk to her.”

      “You think it’s a good idea?”

      “No, but if she’s upset maybe she needs to talk to someone.”

      “Or maybe she wants to be alone.”

      Harry bit his lip thinking over Florence’s words. When he was upset about something, he himself did like to kind of retreat and become a little bit of a recluse, to sort out his emotions before anyone else tried to jump in and help with it, but the thing was – Y/N’s distancing started the night when she’d walked in on the two of them arguing, and it’d been about the girl in question herself, so he shook his head. “I’ll just ask if she’s alright.”

      He took a deep breath and went to enter the room he hadn’t seen in almost a month. “Hey.” Harry poked his head through Y/N’s door, making her swirl around in her chair. She looked adorable to him. She’d changed into a big fluffy nightgown, the hood up, a headband pushing hair away from her face with a green facemask covering her skin. The domestic life flashed through Harry’s head like a freight train, as it was something he craved, but pushed it away. There was no daydreaming before figuring out what was in front of him in reality. “You okay?”

      “ 'M fine.” She shot him a quick smile. “Why? Did Olivia send something new for the script?”

      “Um, no, ‘s just you’ve been, I dunno – detached a bit?”

      “Look, Harry… I may be younger than you, but I’ve been in this industry longer than you or Florence.” Y/N stood and shrugged before crossing her arms. “And the thing is – I don’t care for shit like that. So, you two can gossip and whisper and talk whatever you want about me behind my back. Everyone else is doing that so, you’re not that special. But’ I’d prefer if you did it somewhere else besides my room, my space, and I’ll say this once, but very clearly – we’re not friends. I don’t need friends like you. We’ll be civil and we’ll do our jobs, but…” Harry’s heart broke at her eyes, seeing the pain in them as she nodded and made sure he understood where she stood. “We’re not friends.”

      She didn’t leave any room for argument. When Harry left, Y/N didn’t even look over her shoulder to see him exit.

      The next couple of mornings she didn’t see them leave nor come back, seeing as Y/N had the week off from filming, but the morning of the seventh day was awkward as hell, given how all of them had to go and get tested, and well, they had their allocated time slots one after the other. Usually, they’d take one car together, but this time, Y/N drove off on her own, while Harry and Florence carpooled on their own.

      The tests were always nerve-wracking. If one person went down, the whole production did for at least two weeks. And as much as she hated going in alone, she was glad no one was with her in the car, because as she stepped out, a certain notion swept over her that this would be a lot different than usual.

      A doctor dressed head to toe in protective gear motioned for her to sit down, as another processed her ID and work ID. Her leg was bouncing up and down the whole time, and he eyed her. If she could see his lips, she was sure they’d be pursed. “Anything wrong?” He handed her back the IDs before moving to the table where a set of large q-tips seemed to lay in sterile packs.

      Y/N sighed, biting her lip and nodded. “Woke up with a sore throat and a small cough appeared on my way here as well. I wiped and cleaned everything down at the apartment I’m staying at and wore gloves and a mask the whole time.”

      “Anything else?” the doctor asked, writing down each word as Y/N said. “The feeling of breaking bones, fever, muscle pain, eyes hurting when you look up, lost sense of smell or taste?”

      “No, nothing like that. Just a sore throat and a small cough.”

The doctor let out a large sigh, probably from having to wear a full-on hazmat suit. “Alright. Just for safety reasons, so we know who’s a potential contact person, who are you staying with?”

      “Florence Pugh and Harry Styles. We’re renting an apartment together.”

      “Do you know if they’ve had any symptoms?”

      “No,” Y/N shook her head honestly. “And I haven’t really interacted with them this past week, as they’ve been on set, and I didn’t have any scenes to film, and by the time they get back, I’m already asleep, and I’m still asleep when they leave so there’s been no direct contact. We have our own kitchenware, so there shouldn’t be any direct contact. I think.”

      That last bit was half-true, seeing as she hadn’t been asleep when they came back, but she might as well have been. The second Y/N heard the door click, she’d place her headphones on or leave the room, only glimpsing the two faces falling as she did that.

      The doctor clearing his throat and motioning for Y/N to open her mouth so he could take a swab and then to do the same for both her nostrils, was what brought her out of it. She was so used to it, it was like nothing at that point. “Okay. We’ll need you to stay in the car while the test is being run, and if it comes back positive, you’ll be placed in a separate flat, as to not endanger the rest.”

      Her ‘alright’ was barely audible. Fuck. It just felt like the universe was against her. First, the two people she’d gotten closest to were whispering behind her back and being fake to her face, now she might have a super contagious virus to which there was no medicine really, nor was there a vaccine, let alone the thought she’d have to miss filming for potentially more than two weeks.

      The thirty minutes of wait were agonizing, her leg bouncing up and down. Y/N’s eyes kept watching the line of cars slowly move forward through the tent and then settle behind hers. She knew Harry was about five cars away, and she was glad he wasn’t closer. They weren’t really allowed to get out of their vehicles while the tests were being run, and Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to not look back at him through her review mirror. 

      Two more minutes passed when finally, one of the med students in the full hazmat suit came up and knocked on her car window.

      “Miss Y/L/N?”

      “Yes?” 

      “ID please.” It was standard so that no med info got leaked. The only reason she had to rummage through her stuff was, because she’d bite the little plastic card in half if she didn’t throw it somewhere deep inside her bag.

      “So.” The man sighed, and he didn’t need to elaborate. Y/N understood, but still, he had to confirm it to her. “Your test came back positive for COVID-19. The production has been informed, and for safety reasons, everyone will have to self-isolate for two weeks.”

      Y/N’s head slammed against the back of the seat. “Fuck. Okay.”

      “Because so far, you’re the only positive case, you’ll be placed into quarantine. We’ll need the address you’re staying at, and if you need anything from your apartment, we can send someone over to grab a few things. You’ll have to follow the black SUV right there.” He pointed further down the lot where indeed a black SUV stood. “They’ll take you to where the quarantine apartments are. Is there anything immediate you’ll need?”

      “I – uh – I need my pills, my birth control that is. I take it every evening. Computer, chargers. That’s the most immediate I can think of. Maybe some food? I didn’t get the chance to eat breakfast.”

      Even through the mask, Y/N could see the man smile. “Well arrange that. In the meantime, here’s the number for the coordinators who’ll get you the rest of your things and deliver them to you.”

      “Thank you. I’ll call my assistant, and she’ll drive down to the apartment. She knows where everything is.”

      “Have you been in close contact with her?”

      “Just through the phone. She hasn’t been on set in almost a month, as I told her only to come when it’s an emergency… Guess this is it.” Y/N let out an awkward chuckle.

      And truly that was it. With one last motion as to where the SUV stood, she started back up the engine, reversed out of the spot and followed the car to where the ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ production had set up a few quarantine apartments, specifically for actors and crew, speed-dialling her assistant Anna and letting her know of the situation.

      “Shit, girl,” she’d cursed. “That sucks.”

      “Tell me about it.”

      “Okay,” Anna huffed. “Do you have a spare key for the apartment by any case or do I need to go down to the lot and ask Harry or Florence?”

      “Both of them will be at the apartment, given how everything’s shut down, so they should be able to open the door for you. Hopefully, if both of them are negative. If not, call me, I’ll tell you where we hide the spare. Thank you, Anna.”

      “Of course.”

      As Y/N pulled up behind the SUV, a man and a woman in face guards and masks stepped out. She ended the call and stepped out as well, pulling on a cloth face mask, an envelope in their hands, which they handed to her.

      “Your flat’s on the third floor, 367. When you have the list of things you need, forward them to us, and we’ll gather your things.”

      Y/N nodded and gave them a tight smile. “Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

      With a sigh, she took her bag and entered the complex. As much as she’d only had a small cough in the morning and a sore throat, walking up those flights of stairs made her winded more than it usually would. Maybe it was the knowledge she had a sickness, or maybe it was stress about missing work and putting everyone on lockdown, or maybe it was the combination of it all with her falling out with Harry and Florence on top.

      She placed the key in the lock and twisted, revealing a studio type apartment, and it was so bare it made her heart clench. As much as she felt awkward being around Florence and Harry, their flat was a bit messy, had little pieces of clothing thrown around, giant knitted blankets on the sofas, a candle always lit whenever someone was home. Harry’s shoes were typically all over the place while Y/N’s make up was scattered around everywhere. Literally. Florence and Harry had gotten back early one morning from a night shoot and found her looking under the sofas for one of her lash glues as she started to get ready for the day. They’d made that flat their home for the time being. This… this was nothing like that.

      She threw the keys on the small kitchen counter and shrugged off her jacket. They was going to be a long two weeks. At best.

 ***

       Back at their place, Florence and Harry were pacing around, having heard the news that someone was positive, and everything had to shut down for the time being, yet Y/N was nowhere to be seen when a knock at the door disrupted them.

      Harry was there and flinging it open in a matter of a second, only to be stopped by Anna instead of Y/N.

      “Hey.” His brows furrowed as she and two people all wearing masks and gloves entered. “What’s going on? Is Y/N alright?”

      Anna sighed, nodding her head for the two strangers to go towards the woman’s room. “She was the one who tested positive for the virus. Gave me a list of the things she’d need while in quarantine. We’re here to pick ‘em up and get them to her.”

      “And she’s not doing that here?”

      “Per the safety instructions, she’s been placed in a separate flat in self-isolation.”

      “She could’ve done that here. We’d be fine with it,” Florence butted in, arms crossed over her chest. “We’re more than willing to take care of her. She’ll need someone to help her.”

      “You both tested negative.” One of the people piped up, carrying a box of books and yarn. “I’m sorry, but she’ll have to quarantine separately until she’s no longer infected. She’s under the supervision of doctors, and she knows if an emergency happens, they’ll be there in ten minutes tops. I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.”

      Harry sighed, nodding as the people exited their place, but before Anna could leave, he took hold of her bicep. “Hey, can you please tell her to call me? I just wanna talk.”

      “I uh – ” Anna furrowed her brows, showing Harry that Y/N hadn’t said anything to her about the falling out they’d had. “I’ll uh, yeah. I’ll do that.”

      With that he was left to close the door and just wait for… anything.

 ***

       In the two hours Y/N had spent in the apartment, she already felt like going insane, having been left alone with her thoughts, so how she was going to do another two weeks after finally getting back into the rhythm of work was beyond her. She didn’t have any of her knitting supplies, didn’t have any of her books (yet), and most likely there was no reason to look at her script anymore, as she’d made up her mind about a lot of things. 

      There was a knock at the door, and Y/N instantly had a mask on her face and gloves on her hands. She peeped through the peephole and when she saw boxes lined in the hallway, three people in masks and faceguards at least six feet away, only then did she open the door and give them a wave.

      “Everything should be here, but if you need anything else just pop me a message.” Anna then pointed at a bag that sat atop everything. “There are the most important things, so you don’t have to rummage through everything and a pizza is on the way while I do some grocery shopping for you. And umm, there’s a paper you need to sing that you know you need to be in self-isolation and that you understand what happens if you’re not.”

      Y/N hoped all of them understood she was smiling underneath the mask, grateful for having them help her out like that. “Thank you. So much.”

      She rushed inside found a pen and signed it, moving between the boxes to place the papers on the stairs so that they could be safely retrieved. With that, the two assigned people left, leaving Anna to say goodbye.

      “Call me.” She pointed at Y/N. “No matter what, even if you just wanna talk for five seconds.”

      “Will do.” Y/N nodded and gave her a thumbs up. “If I could, I’d hug you.”

      Anna sighed, cocking her head. “Same. And umm, Harry told me to ask you to call him.”

      “Yeah, uh thank you.” She knew he probably wanted to talk, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise, but it still made her stumble on her words. “Take care, Anna.”

      “You too.”

***

       The next two days Y/N spent worrying as to how to present her decisions to the cast and crew. She felt worse with every hour, and with that had come her thought process, but as much as everyone was going to be impacted by what she was going to do, Olivia would be the one dealing with it most, so later that night she hopped on a Zoom call with her director.

      “Hey, girl.” Olivia gave her a warm smile, and Y/N almost melted. God, she loved that woman. She was like the older sister she never had. “How are you doing?”

      “I’m alright. Feelin’ kind of woozy from time to time, throat’s killing me, and I’m fairly certain I’m getting abs from how much I’m coughing.” That made both of them chuckle before Y/N bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair. “Look,” she sighed, looking at Olivia. “The reason I called you is that umm… well, I think it’d be a lot more cost-effective for you to re-cast me. We’ve barely shot one scene with me. I’ll be out of commission for two weeks, as a minimum. It could get worse. And I’m definitely not going to be back before I get two negative consecutive tests.”

      Olivia shook her head, running down her hands over her face and then through her hair. “Y/N, I really don’t want to do this. There’s a reason we cast you. You’re amazing, and yours and Harry’s chemistry is off the charts. We’re all quarantining for two weeks, and I’m sure you’ll be fine in no time, back on set and killing it like you always do.”

      “You don’t know that.”

      “Of course, I do! Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

      “All I’m saying it could take up to a month to get those two negative tests. By that point, you could’ve shot at least a fourth of my scenes. Olivia…” Y/N gave her a small, sad smile. “I know you know I’m right. I hate to pass on this, but I won’t hinder the production. If you want my input, I’ll help with the re-casting, if it takes the guilt away.”

      “I still feel like shit this is an option we even have to consider.”

      “’S not your fault. You didn’t get me sick. We should be happy it’s just me, not someone else or more than one person.”

            ***

      For two more days, it was radio silence from Y/N, and Harry and Florence were anxious messes. If they could distract themselves from the falling out while on set, then now, having to be cooped up inside the apartment with pretty much nothing to do, was so much worse, not to mention Y/N declined all of their calls and left their messages on read, leaving the only option for checking in either through Anna or what she decided to share on her social media, which wasn’t a lot. But the thing was, Harry knew his best bet was to call Y/N in the middle of the night. Disorientated and barely awake, she probably wouldn’t look at the caller ID once. And he was right.

      A bleary face appeared on his screen, eyes squinting as she tried to block out as much of the light as possible. “Hello?” Her voice was scratchy, and Harry’s heart clenched at just how much pain her throat must be in, let alone how she was feeling as a whole.

      “Hey, there, lovie.”

      It took her a second to comprehend the person who was speaking, and she’d be lying if she said hearing Harry’s voice didn’t bring her some sort of joy. “Hey, H. Are you alright? Why are you still up?”

      “I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about you.”

      Y/N hummed, rolling on her side, and immediately regretting it as the action elicited a coughing fit. “Yeah?” she asked hoarsely. “ ’Nd what about me?”

      ‘How shitty I feel about everything’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m so fucking terrified’, but instead he asked, “How are you doing?”

      “Alright,” Y/N croaked out before her body was racked with coughs once more. Harry’s own chest hurt just hearing them. “Fever’s finally down, so I’m getting some sort of sleep. Throat’s killing me though, and they’ve hooked me up to an IV. They’ll be coming in two hours or so to change the bag. How are you?” she asked quietly. “How’s Florence?”

      “She’s alright. Upset. Just like I am.”

      Y/N’s brows furrowed. “Why’re you upset?”

      “Are you kidding me? You’re sick, alone in quarantine and… and we can’t help you. I can’t help you.”

      A genuine chuckle escaped her. “Didn’t know you had a medical degree, Styles. Could be my personal nurse. Fetch me my water and shit.”

      “No, but at least I’d like to be there for you.”

      “Harry…” 

      “I like you,” he said after taking a deep breath, hoping that the break he’d heard in Y/N’s voice as she’d said his name wasn’t just because of the sickness, but because her heart thudded just as fast as his when he thought of them together, that her mind reeled with the possibilities of where their futures could take them and that whenever they touched, she could feel the electricity that ran through his fingertips, igniting his whole body. “That’s what Florence and I were whispering about all the time. Is that I’m madly crushing on you, and I couldn’t gather the courage to say it to you.”

      A strong coughing fit made her drop the phone on the bed and lean over, as she gasped for breath, and through it all, all Harry wanted was to be there. Fuck him possibly getting the virus, as long as he could make it easier for her in some way. 

      “ ’M sorry,” Y/N whispered, trying to keep her voice as low as possible as to not aggravate her throat. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

      “Hey, there’s nothing to apologise. You’re sick, you can’t help –”

      “No,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry I assumed you and Florence were talking bad behind my back. I never should’ve done that. And this is not an excuse, I’m not trying to shift the blame from being in the wrong, but I like you too.” She gave him a shy grin that he thought was as bright as the sun. “I really like you too, Harry. I think that’s why it hurt so much to hear you two whispering ‘bout something. And thinking it was about me, and it was something bad, hurt even more, ‘cause I really connected with Flo, and I kinda, well I kind of fell for you. Hard.”

      “You did?” His tone was like he didn’t believe what his ears were hearing.

      “Yeah. A lot actually… I – I really like you, Harry.”

      He couldn’t explain how his heart expanded in his chest while simultaneously was being crushed by his inability to help, by the distance between them, while the hope that glimmered in his eyes at Y/N’s words made her heart break as much as his was, when he asked, “So you won’t resign?”

“Harry,” Y/N made her voice as tough as it could sound with her condition. “I told them to re-cast me not because of you. I’ve been on enough sets and worked with enough pricks, and still gotten the job done. Genuinely, this is not because of you or Florence. I just – I just don’t want to hold up production. You’ll all be out in what – twelve days or something? I’ll be here for at least twice that, if everything goes the way it’s going right now.”

      “I don’t want anyone else to play Larie. You are my Larie,” he muttered, which made Y/N smile, but in a true Y/N fashion she just wanted to make others feel better. 

      “You do know Jack murders Larie in the middle of the night.”

      Harry’s mouth opened like a fishes’ while Y/N’s mouth pulled up in a grin. “That’s – that’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

      Both of them were laughing now, all tension having evaporated. 

      “I know.” She bit on her lower lip. “But um… we’ve gotta be practical. I sent Olivia my resignation letter already, and she signed.”

      She saw Harry sigh and throw back his head at her words. 

      “ ’M sorry, Haz. I didn’t want to but –”

      “I know.” His smile was gentle, understanding. “You always put everyone before yourself. God, this just sucks major ass.”

      “Trust me,” Y/N started before being interrupted by another major coughing fit. “I –,” she took in a breath. “I know.”

      Her heart cracked seeing Harry’s face and his green eyes, the eyes she’d gotten lost in more times than she’d ever admitted being lined by tears. “I wish I could help you.”

      “But you are. Just by – by talking to me, by keeping my mind off things. You’re helping me more than you’ll ever know.”

      “When you get out, I’m taking you on a date.”

      Y/N couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face. For the first time in a while, she felt good, despite being sick. “Is that a threat, Styles?”

      “It’s a fucking promise.”

      That night she fell asleep listening to Harry talking, seeing as it became harder and harder for her to do so, so he just took over, telling her stories that lulled her to dreamland where he was there, and she could touch him. 

      The following days she also had calls with Florence and the rest of her cast to explain the situation, but she wasn’t doing much talking anymore, and one night they’d even seen her almost throw up from coughing so much, which broke everyone’s hearts. They were lucky the only Covid case before Y/N had been a light one, so witnessing just how brutal it could be, made everyone appreciate what they had, but at the same time, feel as helpless as ever.

      A week and a half in, that was when shit really hit the fan. Despite her feeling shitty the previous days, now Y/N woke up from the feeling as if she was drowning. She’d fallen asleep while talking with Harry on FaceTime, his features illuminated on her phone. At first, she thought it was just her dream still lingering and causing that effect, but when after a minute or so her lungs still remained on fire, she knew she had to dial the doctors.

      In five minutes’ time, an ambulance was at her door, and it was a miracle she’d been able to get out of bed to open it because the second she did, her whole body pretty much collapsed into the arms of one of the nurses. 

*** 

      “Come on,” Harry muttered into the phone, pulling on a pair of trousers as quickly as possible and a knitted sweater he took from the floor as he immediately tried to redial her, having heard the call drop. “Come on! Pick up, Y/N!” Her voicemail answered instead.

      “Damn it!”

      It took Harry seven minutes with the way he was driving to get to her assigned isolation place, only to be greeted by red and blue flashing lights, an ambulance right in front of the entrance, and it took Harry five seconds to feel his heart drop as a team of three doctors wheeled out a gurney on which lay Y/N, face covered in a mask, an IV stuck inside her arm while a huge plastic cover domed over her body.

      Without even thinking about himself or his safety, Harry jumped out of his car, rushing towards the ambulance.

      “Sir.” One of the doctors extended a palm towards him, keeping him back as Harry tried to get towards the inside of the car. “Sir, you can’t be here.”

      “Is that Y/N?” Harry felt like he was spinning out of control, and his mind was dizzy from not being able to take in a proper breath. “Is – is that Y/N?” 

      “Are you family?”

      “I –,” Harry so desperately wanted to say yes, to say he was her boyfriend at least, but he couldn’t lie. “No, I’m just her collegue – friend! I’m her friend. Is she alright?”

      “Okay, well is there anyone we can contact from her family?”

      Harry nodded, knowing that her mum and dad were on her emergency contact lists. “But her family is out of the country, and they won’t be able to fly out with all the restrictions in place.”

      “Alright.” The doctor sighed before looking back inside the car. In a way, Harry was happy he couldn’t see Y/N because he was sure if he did, he’d completely break down and crumble to the ground. “We’ll contact her parents, but if you could leave us your number as an emergency contact on place that’d be a lot of help.”

      “Okay, uh…” Harry took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds and then let it out before reciting the number he used while in the USA and his permanent UK number as well, so he could be reachable anywhere and at any point in day or night, no matter the time. 

      “Well keep you up to date.”

      And with that, the ambulance doors shut, and they rushed away, the vailing of sirens echoing in the dark night, leaving Harry with a hand in his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks and without a clue as to what to do.

***

      In the end, Harry had gone back to his car and cried for what felt like ages, but instead, it was just twenty minutes. He pulled himself together but was still shaking as he made his way back to the flat where Florence basically ripped open the door. Seeing his face told her everything she needed to know.

      “She’ll be alright,” the woman muttered as she soothed Harry by rubbing a palm up and down his back, letting him hide his face in her shoulder. “It’s Y/N. She’d pull through an atomic bomb.”

      They spent the rest of the night and the following day on the couch, glued to Harry’s phone waiting for any sort of updates. From time to time a text message came from the hospital letting them know what procedures were being done on Y/N, that her parents have been informed, and if necessary, they’d allowed Harry to be the main contact person because of his proximity to their daughter.

      Three days later and the quarantine for the rest of the cast and crew ended, yet when they returned to the set, everyone was in low spirits. Especially, Harry – he was miserable. Every moment spent not reciting lines or acting was occupied with the thoughts of Y/N, how she was doing, was she improving, was she still breathing, how he wanted to just ditch everything and run to her, to help in whatever way he could.

      “This sucks,” Florence grumbled, arms crossed over her chest as they took a break while re-setting already in for the fifth day of filming, eight since Y/N’d been in the hospital. “Can’t believe they won’t allow a phone in with her.”

      “It’s the same policy for everyone, but trust me,” Harry sighed and looked up at the bright blue sunny sky above. “The number of times I got out of my bed in the middle of the night and had the car keys in hand is ridiculous. And the number of times I’ve thought about breaking into that hospital is even more concerning.”     

      Florence let out a small chuckle and nudged his shoulder. “I’d cover for you if you did. As long as she doesn’t have to be there alone.” She hung her head, blond strands falling down to curtain her face. “Can’t imagine how scared she must be.”

      Harry just sighed. There really wasn’t anything he could say. 

      Something vibrated in his pocket, but he no longer furrowed his brows when unknown numbers called, knowing it was from the hospital. It was nerve-wracking though to pick up the call each time because he had to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of bad news, even though he always hoped for good ones. 

      “Yes, hi. Hello. I – oh,” he put a hand over his mouth and sagged down onto a chair. “Oh, thank god, thank you, doctor. Yeah. Yes, I’ll let her know, and someone will be there to open the flat. Thank you again. For everything.”

      He took away the phone from his ear and stared at the ground for a minute before leaping up and hugging Florence, laughter escaping his mouth.

      “What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, it’s the opposite. Y/N’s out of the hospital.”

      “Oh thank god!” Her hands flew to hug him back.

      “She’ll have to stay in self-isolation until the two negative tests and will be monitored by the doctors, but she’s out.”

        Immediately he was dialling her, and Harry had never been as happy for the invention of a video call, because when he saw Y/N’s face light up the screen, as tired as she looked, it was the most beautiful sight that graced his eyes.

      “Hey, lovie.” His voice was soft and low as if anything louder would worsen her state.

      Her ‘hey’ was barely audible, but he heard it, and it made the weight of a boulder drop off his shoulders.

      “I’m so – I mean we all are so happy you’re back home.”

      Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “I’m happy too,” she whispered. “I missed you. Missed everyone, but most of all I missed you.”

      Harry was happy they were separated by a screen because if she was anywhere in a five-mile radius, he was sure she would be able to hear his heart beat out of his ribcage at her words. “How are you feeling?”

      “ ‘M alright,” Y/N tried to let him know. “Very tired.”

      “Then get back to sleep, lovie.”

      Y/N shook her head. “Wanna talk to you.”

      “I’ll keep talking,” Harry promised. “Like we did before, okay.”

      “Okay…”

      And so, he did. He kept talking as Y/N listened, and he watched as her eyes slowly closed before she drifted off to sleep. Even though Harry had to go back to filming, he didn’t dare end the call. He’d never end the call. 

***

      It took a month and a half for Y/N to get those two consecutive negative tests, to feel somewhat human again and when she did, she probably garnered at least seven speeding tickets with how fast she was driving down to the set.

      It was the most inconspicuous outfit she could scramble together, consisting of a hoodie and baseball cap, as she watched Harry as Jack lean down to peck the actress’s lips, then step into the vintage car and rev out in the driveway, while a dishevelled Florence started the scene from the side, eyes racking over Jack’s first wife, who was dressed the exact same way, hair styled like hers and even nails painted the same, her character putting all the puzzle pieces together. 

      “And cut!” Olivia yelled across the lot, nudging Y/N’s side and giving her a smirk. “He’s gonna freak. You’re all he’s been talking about on set. We almost had to put a ban on you as a topic,” she muttered that part so only the woman could hear while telling everyone to re-set, so they could do the scene from another angle, but not before asking the three actors to come and look at the monitors so they could understand how to move in order to keep the continuity.

      Y/N moved to the side, ducking her head down as Harry, Florence and Mandy, the actress that took over her role, all leaned closer to watch the monitors. Y/N had to bite on her lip to keep the grin away, as all of them analysed their movements and the scene, nodding along to what Olivia was saying.

      “Y/L/N, what do you think?” Olivia asked, grinning. 

      Y/N stepped forward a bit, seeing all of their shocked faces through her peripheral, as she pointed to the screen, lifting her head so that everyone could see her face fully. “I think it’s great, you might want to step to the side a bit more, Harry, when –” but she was unable to finish the sentence as he swooped her in his arms, lifting her basically off the ground, and burying his face in her neck.

      “Watch the hair! Daniele will have a fit if you ruin her masterpiece!” Y/N laughed, holding one of her hands on the base of his neck, the other tightly wrapped around his shoulders, but he just shook his head, and she could feel tears splash her skin.

      “Fuck the hair!” He let out a small chuckle, and she could hear the lump in his throat. “I’ve missed you so much. I was so scared.”

      “Same,” Y/N whispered. “Missed you like crazy. And your stupid, unfunny dad jokes.”

      “ ‘M hilarious, lovie, what are you talking about?”

      He finally set her down but didn’t let go of her waist, and she smiled cupping his cheeks. “A true comedian, that’s what you are.”

      “I know. Why’dya think I got that SNL slot?”

      But his eyes, as he gazed into hers once more glassed over.

      “Hey,” Y/N cooed wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, cause then I’ll cry, and we’re both gonna be crying messes, and then these guys will have to deal with that.”

      Harry sighed, leaning into her touch. “Happy tears, lovie. All happy tears.”

      The two looked at one another as if there was no one else in the universe. And for the two of them, there really wasn’t. Neither had to say what was on their minds, they already knew.

      His face was inching closer to Y/N’s, and heart started to beat erratically, not that Harry minded, as his palm rested in the middle of her back. In fact, his own heart mimicked the rhythm, but it stuttered when someone behind him cleared their throat and interrupted their moment.

      Y/N hid her face in Harry’s chest as he sighed at Olivia’s raised eyebrow. 

      “You’ll be able to smooch as much as you want, but we need him in hair and make-up.”

      “Oli-“

      “Now,” she let out a small laugh. “Before Daniele removes my head from my shoulders.”

      “Go,” Y/N patted his side. “I’ll still be here.”

      “Is that a threat?”

      She grinned up at him. “A fucking promise.”

      Harry dashed away like lightning, hoping that the quicker he was done, the sooner he could have Y/N back in his arms even if it was for a second, but her attention was taken by a woman with long blond curls, a flowing green slip on her figure; her steps unsure as was the wave she gave her, but Y/N’s heart melted at the sight of her.

      “Hey, Flo,” she whispered and brought the girl in a bone-crushing hug, holding onto her, trying to convey how much she regretted her words and actions, especially because they were unwarranted.

      “I’m so sorry,” Y/N said, and she nodded.

      “Me too.”

      Y/N shook her head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

      “And I should’ve made sure Harry pulled his head out of his ass.”

      That made both of them laugh, and it was nice to do it not only without having to cough up her insides, but to do it with someone she’d connected with and had become great friends with.

      “He did that. I just hope if he wants to make another move, it won’t take me dying to push him to.”

      Florence pointed at her, a serious look on her face. “I’ll kill him with my bare hands if he does.”

      A small noise of someone clearing their throat from behind Y/N took both of their attentions for them to go onto the actress who’d been cast as her replacement, the woman coming forward and extending her hand for a handshake with a nervous smile. “Hi. I’m Mandy.”

      “ ‘S very nice to meet you.” Y/N tried to give off as open and accepting of a vibe as much as possible, because she genuinely wanted Mandy to feel respected and that she wasn’t a threat. “Before you think anything if you’re worried about me taking the role, don’t. It’s all yours, so don’t worry about that. I just stopped by ‘cause I hadn’t seen anyone in almost two months. Never thought I’d say this, but fuck did I missed people.”

      Mandy shook her head, her smile a lot lighter and brighter now. “I – uh thank you for that actually. I’m a huge fan of yours, and well, can only try and live up to what you would’ve portrayed.”

      “Well, I’m sure you’ll absolutely kill it, and I can’t wait for the movie.”

      It was great to see Mandy’s shoulders drop in relief. “Would it be too much if I asked for advice on the role?”

      “No,” Y/N laughed. “But I would say that you should make this role your own. It is yours. You are Larie now. And Harry’s Jack. Make it yours.”

      As she said that, she turned to watch Harry who was practically bouncing on his feet, green eyes flitting back to where she was standing, and when their gazes met, neither could help the smiles blooming on their faces.

       “You know he messed up a scene once and said your name?”    

      Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked over at Mandy. “What do you mean ‘said my name’?”

      “It was a kissing scene. The wedding bit, actually. As Jack and Larie recited their vows, and he leans down to kiss her, he was supposed to say, ‘I’ll love you Larie, until the very end’. He said your name instead.”

      That hit Y/N more than a semi-truck wheeling a ton of bricks would. Yes, she knew Harry liked her, and he knew she liked him, but love was a big word, and for him to admit that, whether it was a flub or not, was even bigger.

      Harry was a private person. While he openly talked about what he felt, he guarded heart at the same time, much like Y/N did. But she had to wait until Olivia yelled cut for the day, and had to watch him make a mad dash for hair and make-up before running to the dressing trailer as he didn’t want to miss out on a second he could spend with her. Even as they walked up to their shared flat and he opened the door, his fingers stayed intertwined with hers.

      “How does it feel to be back?”

      “Kinda shitty, honestly,” Y/N laughed throwing the keys to the table and shrugging out of the jacket and taking off the cap, Harry immediately helping her and putting it on one of the racks. “I’ll have to move out, now that I’m not part of the movie.”

      “Why? ‘S not like the production is paying our rent, we’re doing it out of our own pocket.”

      “Yes, but now that I don’t have a job, I kinda need to look for one.”

      “And what says that you can’t live here while you do that?”

      “I –,” Y/N’s brows furrowed. “I mean nothing, really… I just… kinda thought because I’m not part of the movie anymore it’d be safer if I found my own place. But um… I think I have something else I’d like to talk about. Mandy,” Y/N dragged out her name a bit, a sly smirk appearing on her face, “told me you had a flub on set.”

      Harry’s heart was pounding underneath her palm where she’d grabbed onto the lapels of his dress shirt, so he couldn’t run away. 

“I’ve uh,” he let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve had a couple of flubs on set. Who hasn’t?”

      “I don’t doubt that. But she said you misspoke a name.”

      She made him look into her eyes and wouldn’t dare let their gaze break. “You said my name during the wedding scene. You said Y/N. Not Larie.”

      Harry looked like a cross between a deer in headlights and a fish out of the water, eyes wide with his mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out, which made Y/N worry a bit.

      She placed a palm against his cheek. “Harry? You alright?”

      “I – I meant it.” He let out a deep sigh and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “And when I thought back on it, I don’t remember seeing her face or Larie’s face. It was yours. And the lips I was kissing belonged to you too. I was holding your hand, and you were holding mine. And I know it’s way too quick, for a wedding -”

      “Unless you threaten me with it –”

      “I –,” Harry stuttered before laughing, all tension evaporating from his body. “No, that I don’t want to be a threat. That will be a question asked with love and hopefully an answer given to it the same way.”

      Y/N nudged his nose with hers. “Well, we’ll see. I mean if you don’t kiss me what makes you th–,” 

      But she didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence before his lips were on hers, pressing with such gentleness, it made her weak at the knees, and she would’ve crumbled if Harry’s arms handn’t woven around her middle, fingers pressing into the sides, the pressure increasing with each second their mouths were connected. 

      Harry’s hand drifted up Y/N’s back and settled on her neck as if he could pull her any closer, her own palms slipping over his stomach, pecks and grabbing onto his jaw, fingers lightly scratching at the stubble that’d grown throughout the day. He had to shave every morning for the role of Jack, but each evening she’d see a small, darkened shadow across his skin, and Y/N would be lying that when she’d realised her attraction to him, she hadn’t thought about how delicious it would feel to have it leave small burn marks on the inside of her thighs. 

      Unconsciously, she clenched her thighs, trying to create some sort of friction which became more and more unbearable as she felt Harry moan into her mouth, tongue sweeping against her lower lip, asking for permission without words, which Y/N granted without a second to spare. 

      It was heavenly to have him so close to her. She did wonder if the sensation was intensified by the fact, she hadn’t been able to touch anyone properly for almost two months, but that thought vanished when his fingers skimmed underneath her hoodie, brushing against her heated skin. No. It was because it was Harry.

       “I –,” he was breathless as he pulled away, but Y/N didn’t let him get too far, her lips attaching themselves to his neck, making him groan in pleasure. “I don’t want to push this too far.”

      Her brows scrunched up, as she took a look at him. “What do you mean? If you think I don’t want this, then let me be perfectly clear – I do. A lot.”

      Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so fucking glad you do, but… Y/N you just got out of the hospital, where you were on a ventilator. I don’t want to make anything worse.”

      “Not your choice to make.” A devious smile appeared on her face, as she stepped a few feet away and lifted her hoodie over her head, making Harry inhale sharply. “So here are your two options.” Her hands went behind her back, unclasping her bra and letting it slowly drop to the floor, the green eyes that hadn’t left her now wide as saucers. “Number one.” She toed off her boots and popped open the button of her jeans. “We can stop this, obviously, just say the word, and I get to my room, start packing and looking for a new place. We can have some dinner and just chill. Or number two.” Y/N hooked her jeans behind her thumbs and slowly dragged them down her legs, revealing more and more of herself to Harry. “We can go inside your room and make up for the lost time. In every position imaginable, for as long as you want. But.” Y/N’s eyes glimmered with mischief as she made her way to Harry’s room. “I don’t think you wanna take the first option.”

      Harry ran a hand through his hair, turning it from the meticulously gelled hairstyle into a mop of messy strands. “You know you’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman.”

      Y/N swayed her hips a bit more as she took another step closer to his room, the door meeting her back, and one of her hands went to the doorknob, pressing down on it. “Well, a gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date, and definitely not like that.”

      He stood there, hands on his hips, eyes not leaving her body, as she cocked her head. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

      They were ten torturous seconds for both, hearts beating out of their chests, but it only took three steps for Harry to cross the hallway, his hand sneaking behind Y/N’s back and pressing down on the doorknob as well, revealing the inside of his room. It was messy, much like her own, but it wouldn’t take too much to rip all off the tossed around bedding leaving a whole bed to themselves. 

      “You. Are. The. Devil.”

      Her smile was nothing short of wicked. “I mean you can listen to the angel on your shoulder.”

      “I’d rather listen to you.”

      Together they stepped inside, and Y/N nodded. “Making good choices already.”

      “Can’t get on your bad side, can I now?”

      “I mean you can.” Her legs hit the back of his bed and she fell down on it, Harry leaning over, resting his elbows next to her head. “But bad boys get punished.”

      His nose skimmed over hers. Now he was the one smiling like a devil. “I’ll hold you to your word. For future reference, that is.”

      That kiss was nothing like their first. This was messy, and passionate, all tongue and teeth, hands grabbing everywhere possible to get the other unclothed. Or at least that’s what Y/N was trying to do, seeing as she was pretty much naked already, and Harry was the one still wearing too much.

      Her hands pretty much ripped open the shirt. It one of his expensive Gucci ones, she was quite certain of it, but it didn’t seem like he cared, as he shrugged it off, throwing it to land somewhere on the floor.

      Y/N sighed into his mouth as her hands were now freely allowed to run over his chest, over the ink embedded into his skin, over taut muscles that relaxed under her touch, and dig into his sides in an attempt to leave her own marks on him, much like he was going to do to her. 

      “Think you can take your pants off? It’s only fair.” Y/N muttered into his mouth and his own travelled down to her cheek, then neck and to her chest.

      “You mean my trousers?”

      Her lips quirked up and she shrugged her shoulders. “No, in this case, I meant pants the British way.”

      “And if I’m going commando?”

      Y/N pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him away from her. “You had nothing underneath all day on set?”

      “No! I wouldn’t subject the dressing department to that. But underneath this.” He looked down at his jeans and smiled at her. “I do have nothing.”

      “Well then? Get on with it!”

      Both of them were giggling, as Y/N tried to unbuckle Harry’s belt, his own fingers mixing with hers as he went for the zipper and the button. He nudged his head towards her. “Your socks and pants come off as well. Or we’ll be unevenly matched.”

      Y/N lifted her eyebrow, as she went for her own remaining pieces of clothing. “No socks during sex?”

      “No, what kind of a weirdo do you think I am?”

      “And if my feet get cold?” She threw them away somewhere.

      “We have a blanket.”

      As Harry removed his jeans and his own socks, Y/N slipped off the dampened piece of clothing that’d been on her, now both of them completely naked. 

      “Alright.” He leaned over her again, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling them chest to chest. “Happy now?”

      Y/N deeply kissed him. “Very. But I think we can make each other even happier.”

      “Agreed,” Harry hummed. “Wanna get a taste first.” He attached his lips to her collarbones sucking a bruise there. “Can I?”

      She groaned at the feeling, knowing there be a pleasant ache that accompanied mark. “You can. Don’t have to, if you don’t want. No need to do this for me.”

      “And if it’s for me?” Harry was moving lower and lower with each word, wet tongue flicking against a perked bud, and making Y/N gasp. “What if I wanna feel you cum on my tongue, and what if I wanna do something I’ve dreamed about for months now?”

      His hands were kneading her breasts, mouth having left a trail of kisses down the middle of her stomach as it was moving towards where an ache that’d been left untreated made itself more and more prominent. 

“Then please, please, please do something, Harry.”

      “With pleasure.”

      Luckily for Y/N, she didn’t have to beg any more, as his mouth attached itself to where she wanted him most, tongue sweeping past her lower lips and licking up a broad, steady stripe.

      One of her hands went to fist into her hair and the other into Harry’s. “Shit,” she moaned. “Fuck, that feels good.”

      “Guide me.” He licked a circle around her clit. “Tell me how you like it.”

      “Mhgm, fuck, okay,” Y/N breathed out. “I – I mean you’re doing great on your own.” Her chest was heaving as if she was running a marathon, and Harry shifted her legs so that they lay over his shoulders. “But umm, like if you lick around my clit, but like really press down li – oh, fuuuuck, just like that.”

      The coil in her stomach tightened with each pass he did, just like Y/N had instructed, small tight circles just how she did with her fingers, only what took her sometimes half an hour, Harry managed to do in less than ten minutes, to have her toes curling and hands grasping anywhere they could find purchase to just keep onto something real.

      The vibrations from Harry humming sent shivers straight to her core. “What else, lovie? What else, do you like?”

      “If – if –,” Y/N panted, “if you suck on it, but like – fuck – shit! If you kinda keep a seal around my clit, that fuck! Yes!”

      The way Harry was eating her out was almost sensational, but what made it even better wasn’t that he just decided to do something and assumed, she’d like it, he asked, he wanted to learn and discover what made her tick and turn, or in this case – cum. 

      “Harry, ‘m close,” Y/N warned him, feeling the warmth slowly start to spread all throughout her body. 

      “I’ll get you there.”

      He let his lips go for a moment before slipping two of his fingers so that they pinched her clit and moved them slowly but tightly up and down it, while his tongue went to slip inside her hole, and that did it for her.

      With a gasp of air, Y/N’s eyes rolled to be back of her head, hips lifting up as euphoria exploded through her veins. Her mind went completely dizzy, and she was quite sure some drool also dribbled down the side of her mouth because she’d lost all ability to function.

      “ -o me, love,” Y/N heard as if through a fog, and then felt two soothing palms running up and down her legs. “Come back, love. There you go.”

      A drunken smile bloomed on her face, and she ran a hand down it, the same hand that’d grabbed Harry’s hair like a vice. “Fuck. You’re good, you know what you’re doing.”

      “Well, I’m certainly glad you enjoyed yourself because I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

      She watched as he straightened out to sit on his knees, her legs still over his shoulders, cock slapping against his stomach, and when she looked down there was a wet patch on his side of the sheets, a sly grin morphing on her face. “You liked eating me out so much you came yourself?”

      “What can I say – bringing pleasure, gives me pleasure. And your cunt’s probably the sweetest I’ve ever eaten. But… do you think you’re ready for me?” Harry asked, kissing the inside of Y/N’s thighs and watching as she vigorously nodded her head, but he just smirked. “I think I need to test it out. Just to make sure.”

       “Harry,” Y/N whined as she felt his fingers skim the apex of her thighs, teasing her. 

      “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

      With that, he used one of his hands to open up her lips, his thumb pressing down on her already sensitive clit, eliciting a gasp before he allowed two fingers to skim her entrance and then slipped in.

      “Still so tight,” he said, watching as Y/N sighed and her mouth fell open, his fingers curling in a come-hither motion. “Told you needed to check if you were ready. What kind of a gentleman would I be now, if I didn’t make sure you could take it?”

      Y/N gritted her teeth. “I can take you.”

      “Don’t doubt it.” Harry left kisses along her leg, as he continued on with his movements, noting how her hips slowly started to grind down on his palm, so he pushed his fingers in deeper so that the heel of his hand could rest against her clit, making the pleasure intensify. “But I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you when all I wanna do is give you pleasure. And you weren’t stretched out enough. Not yet at least.”

      “Oh, god, Harry,” Y/N groaned, one arm thrown over her eyes as his fingers hit just the right spot.

      “That’s it? Right there?”

      “Yes, right there,” she moaned. “Just. Fuck! Just don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

      “Gonna cum again?”

      “Yes, just – just curl your fingers and twist them a bit more.”

      And much like the first time, a couple more times was all it took. Her orgasm was even more powerful than the previous and fully knocked her breath out of her lungs. Her legs fell open around his shoulders, stomach and chest spasming from the intensity. 

      Gentle fingers skimmed up and down Y/N’s arms and featherlight kisses fluttered over her breasts, then chest, neck and finally were peppered across her cheeks.

      “Kinda spaced out on me there. You alright? Not too much?”

      “ ’M – I’m good. But I’m pretty sure you’ve killed me.”

      Harry chuckled, and Y/N leaned her head to the side so she could press a kiss against the closest of the swallow tattoos. “Hopefully not. I still wanna take you out on that date.”

      Her eyes landed on Harry’s left hand’s ring finger, where a golden band still laid. 

      “Oh, yeah.” He lifted the digits, still covered in her cum before pushing them past his lips and licking them clean. “Forgot to remove it. Hope the prop guys don’t kill me.”

      She hated how his eyes sparkled, absolutely knowing what that sight did to her, how it made her stomach flutter and heart thunder against her ribs. Y/N was sure with the force it was pounding, they’d crack. 

      “Well, if they don’t, I will.” She pulled him down, nails raking on his skin, dragging to rest on his ass as they bit into it. “Now get inside me.”

      “Condom.”

      “No, ‘m on the pill.”

      “I’m clean, I swear, but it’s still not a hundred per cent safe.”

      Y/N shook her head. “I’ll buy the morning-after pill. Just need you inside.”

      “You sure?” Harry placed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

      “Yeah. I mean I’m clean, and uh… I just wanna feel you.”

      He’d cum once already, and Harry would be dammed if he did it again before having the chance to know how heaven feels like. As gently as possible, he took himself, giving a few strokes before nudging the tip against Y/N’s clit, her sharp inhale stalling him until she nodded. 

      Her nails dug into his biceps, as he finally slipped inside her, making both of them moan at the feeling. Even with all of the stretching out he’d done with his fingers, and the two orgasms he’d drawn from her, the slickness helping everything to be easy and smooth, Y/N still felt a little sting.

      Harry’s head dropped to Y/N’s shoulders and even from under him, she could feel his thighs and stomach shaking, as he tried to hold his composure and give her a little bit of time to adjust.

      A couple of deep breaths later, she tapped his ribs. “You can move now.”

      “ ‘ya sure?”

      “Mhm,” Y/N nodded her head and pecked his lips reassuringly. “Please.”

      His dishevelled and sweaty hair shook as he nodded and slowly drew back his hips so that just the tip of his cock remained in her before gliding back inside. The sight alone was more than enough to make both of them explode, but they wanted to last longer than thirty seconds, especially for their first time together. There’d be quickies for later, now they wanted to have a proper shag.

      Bit by bit, Harry’s pace quickened, pearls of sweat gliding down his skin and dampening the sheets below them, much like it was with Y/N. Her leg slid up to rest around his hips, giving him a better angle and more leverage for him to strike the right spot, as he pushed her knee to rest against her chest, Y/N’s head falling back to the pillow.

      Her insides were shaking from the pleasure, and it was like an invisible force was pushing down on her chest, as she struggled for a proper breath. “Harry,” she dragged out his name, the word turning into a high-pitched whine.

      “I know,” he responded in the same breathless voice. He could feel her tighten around him and wasn’t sure just how much longer he’d be able to keep up the pace. “Touch yourself ‘f me, lovie. C’mon, use those fingers.”

      Y/N did as she was told. It didn’t give her that butterfly feeling like it’d happened when they’d been Harry’s, but it did make her cum faster, and the sensation of her gushing around his cock made him lose all self-control and he spilled inside.

      It wasn’t enough for Y/N, but she guessed she needed to settle for it. She knew that nothing really ever touched in the universe, that the closest atoms ever come to touching one another is when their wave packets overlap, much like she and Harry were now overlapping, his body lying on top of hers, skin sweaty and frame trembling as he came down from his own high.

      “I uh,” Y/N cleared her throat, finger tracing the outline of one of the butterfly in the middle of Harry’s chest. “When the people came to get my stuff, I umm, asked them to take your rainbow cardigan. Wanted something that smelled like you, so I didn’t feel so alone. Was the first thing I put on when I got out of my hospital gown.”

      She felt his body rumble with laughter and a kiss being pressed to her forehead. “I know. Saw Anna stash it inside the suitcase. I uh, I was the one who also put in one of my sweaters. Know how cold you always get.”

      She hid her smile against his collarbones. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”

      “ 'M always thinking of you… Will you knit me one though?”

      Y/N raised her eyebrow. “Knit you one?”

      “Yes. I know you knit –“

      “Everyone knits nowadays.”

      Harry drew himself back a bit, and she pushed away the matted down strands from his forehead, wiping away the sweat from underneath his green eyes as well. “Yes, but the point is – there’ll be a million other Gucci shirts and sweaters and cardigans. But I’d like to have one-of-a-kind made by you. So, I have something to sleep next to when you’re not next to me.”

      Y/N ran a finger along his jawline, biting away her grin. “It’ll probably have mistakes. I’m not that good at it. ‘M not a professional.”

      “Exactly.” Harry tilted her head up with a finger and their eyes met. “Which is why it’ll be perfect.”

      “The arms will most likely be different lengths in the end.”

      “Don’t worry, darling.” He pecked her lips before hugging her and not letting go. “It’s flawless for me.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415​ @crazy--me​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog​ @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

A/N: My tags are always open :)

P.S. please don’t repost my work without specific written permission onto other platforms :)

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Can you talk about autistic Hawk/Eil

Sure, I’d love to!!!

Credit where credit is due, of course--I got a lot of my Autistic Eli headcanons from @jackonthelongwalk, who’s got a little more authority to speak on the subject since he’s actually autistic and whatnot. I mainly just saw his takes and was like “THOSE ARE GOOD TAKES” and adopted all of them XD Although I DID come up with a few of my own headcanons!!! I’ll just compile everything here.

~Eli tends to be pretty particular about physical touch, and a lot of the time he doesn’t really like it. Over the years, Demetri’s found that one type of touch that Eli’s okay with is shoulder-squeezing, and it kinda becomes their thing. Typically Demetri giving Eli a quick shoulder squeeze helps comfort him and makes him feel safe by basically reassuring him “I’m here for you, I’ve got your back.” You can see Demetri give Eli a shoulder squeeze in 2x09 when he’s comforting him about Moon, and he does the EXACT same one in the school fight in 2x10 just before kicking him into the trophy case. I think it was his way of saying “even though we’re fighting right now, I still care about you” and that kinda helped snap Hawk out of his near-psychopathic rage. In Season 3, he’s still shitty to Demetri, obviously, but it’s more controlled, not as unhinged or feral--even when Hawk breaks his arm, he hesitates a LOT before and regrets it IMMEDIATELY after in a way I’m not sure his UNCHECKED RAEEEGE self would have during the school fight.

~Over the years Demetri develops kind of a sixth sense of when Eli is about to have a meltdown. He’s able to pick up on super minute changes in body language, changes in the way Eli speaks, small alterations in Eli’s general temperament--basically anything that indicates he’s getting overwhelmed. That’s actually how he discovers the shoulder squeeze tactic--Demetri realizes he needs a quick way to comfort and reassure Eli when he can’t go in for a full hug (like they’re in the middle of class or something) so he can calm Eli down a bit and stop him from having a meltdown. Mainly because Demetri knows the bullies will have a field day if Eli cries in front of the other kids, so the shoulder squeeze develops as sort of a way to protect Eli from this.

~At some point after Demetri first started using the shoulder touch/squeeze on Eli, Eli started also using it on Demetri to quickly communicate affection/appreciation. Demetri isn’t nearly as touch-averse or picky with physical touch as Eli, and would’ve been okay with a number of physical touches, but he’s honestly super touched that Eli saw him doing a thing and was like “Oh hey!!! Demetri does this thing to me and it makes me feel safe and loved, so I’m sure it’ll do the same if I do it to him!!!” It kinda becomes their special touch, and becomes somewhat of a silent “I love you” (although obviously these two clueless idiots are led to believe it’s ONLY platonic love for many, many years XD). You can see Eli give a little shoulder pat/squeeze to Demetri at the beach party in 1x09!!

~Eli really does not like being touched around or under the chin, mainly because this is how bullies like Kyler touch him and it’s triggering for him. Demetri basically never touches him here. Even after they get together and start getting intimate, Demetri tends to touch/stroke Eli’s cheeks or the side of his head if he wants to touch his face, but he avoids touching Eli’s chin like the plague because he knows how much Eli dislikes it. This is something Eli really deeply appreciates--even Moon wasn’t able to catch on to the fact that he didn’t like having his chin touched, and he was too obsessed with coming across as “tough” to her to admit that it bothered him. Moon didn’t mean any harm at all, of course, she just wasn’t able to pick up on his more subtle indications that he wasn’t a huge fan of chin touches. Demetri has come to pick these indications up by second nature.

~The whole thing Demetri does at the beginning of the show where he kinda talks “for” Eli (the thing that, ironically, people loooooove to blast him about for being a “terrible friend”) I think is largely done because Eli is autistic. Eli seems to have a lot of social anxiety right from the get-go--he doesn’t even verbally greet Miguel when he first sits with him and Demetri and Demetri introduces Eli. Eli just kinda awkwardly smiles and nods at him. He’s obviously not great with social cues either, which we see later on--he’s so PAINFULLY oblivious to the fact that Piper is super not at all into it when he tries to hit on her in Season 2. I imagine after a number of social blunders in their youth, and seeing just how uncomfortable and anxious social situations made Eli, Demetri took the reigns and did a lot of communicating FOR Eli to take some of the pressure off of him to talk. I’d argue that once Demetri is taken out of the picture, we can see in full force JUST how socially anxious and uncomfortable Eli really is--he seems damn near terrified trying to stand up for himself against Johnny when Demetri’s not there. He’s lowkey stuttering and tripping over his words, his voice is shaking. He nearly leaves the room in tears. He’s used to letting Demetri be his voice, and this seems to be what makes him feel safest and most secure. When this is taken away, he has to find a new way to protect himself--hence, possibly, the entire Hawk persona.

~Eli has a lot of issues with emotional regulation and often feels emotions really, really strongly and gets overwhelmed by them--as an ADHDer, this is a struggle I understand SO MUCH. When Eli gets really overwhelmed with strong emotion, he tends to have meltdowns. These can be either sadness-based meltdowns (like we see in the flashback) or angry meltdowns (like we see when he beats Brucks up). Due to his emotional regulation issues, Eli has a really hard time hiding his emotions or stopping a meltdown once it kinda onsets--this is why he tends to “bawl” at movies. Once he starts crying, he can’t really stop, or reign it in--it just keeps coming. He also can’t really hold it back--his emotions tend to force their way out, whether he wants them to or not. This is also why he goes so HARD when he’s angry--wailing on Brucks, throwing punch after punch at Demetri at the school fight, getting carried away and attacking Robby’s injured shoulder at the tournament. His anger (and other emotions) tends to just kinda explode out, and he has a really hard time reigning them back in and keeping them in check. Demetri, ever the voice of ration and reason, can help with this--and probably has a lot, historically. With Demetri less and less in the picture and their relationship on the rocks, Eli’s emotions just seem to get even more wild and uncontrolled, particularly his anger. Part of the reason I think Demetri and Eli work so well together--Eli tends to get very caught up in his emotions (no shame in that--I’ll admit I do too!), and needs someone to help him keep his feet on the ground and be the pragmatist who helps him keep things in perspective.

~Karate is most definitely a special interest for him. It lowkey takes over his life and he makes it damn near his entire identity--big special interest energy. And Demetri (at first, at least) is lowkey so supportive!!! Like he goes to the all-valley tournament to support and cheer Eli on, despite not having any personal interest in fighting and seeming to think the whole thing is the kind of dumb macho shit that goes against everything his nerd identity stands for XD But he goes to the tournament anyways to clap for his boyfriend best friend’s badassery!!! The real MVP!!! Also special interests in general (not unlike ADHD hyperfixations) tend to be very random, hence why seemingly out of nowhere Eli gets absolutely OBSESSED with karate.

~Just a random little headcanon I have (I think I mentioned it on one of my general headcanon posts), but I like to think after Eli adopts the whole “Hawk” persona, he gets a special interest in birds of prey in general for a little while. Like back before he’s too “tough” for anything even remotely related to “nerd shit,” he watches nature documentaries on raptors and the whole 9 yards and constantly rambles excitedly to Demetri about how badass he thinks they are, and how cool it is that they can “literally hunt mice from the sky and shit” (probably an exact quote from him). Demetri finds this sudden new obsession both amusing and kind of endearing--but as always, he shows an interest in it and accommodates it as best he can. I imagine he’s seen Eli go through a number of special interests over the years, and is a pro by now on how to handle them (my own childhood best friend is a fellow ADHDer, and he was CONSTANTLY getting new hyperfixations--I imagine it was something like that XD).

~The whole “Hawk” persona in general seems pretty autistic, speaking of that--like it’s almost entirely based in mimicry and masking. Like Hawk pretty frequently mimics Johnny’s expressions, body language, and speech patterns, and (at least at first) Miguel’s fighting style. He also starts to mimic a lot of Kreese’s problematic views and general “never accept defeat” attitude in late Season 2 and Season 3, setting his good old Bastardization Arc in full swing. The whole Hawk thing could easily be masking, especially given how exaggerated and overdramatic Eli’s facial expressions, voice, and actions tend to be when he’s trying to be Hawk. When he slips back into “Eli” (or how he was before he adopted the mask), it’s usually around Demetri (i.e. the Doctor Who conversation)--which makes sense, since Demetri “gets” Eli better than most people and Eli doesn’t have to mask or overexaggerate his expressions or statements to communicate effectively with Demetri. They’ve known each other so long and Demetri is so familiar with his body language and mannerisms that Demetri is able to pick up fairly easily on what Eli’s trying to communicate/express without Eli having to work too hard at getting his point across. It’s why Eli’s expressions and body language aren’t nearly as exaggerated around Demetri, even when he’s trying to intimidate him--he knows he doesn’t have to overstate what he’s doing to communicate with Demetri.

~Relating back to the social troubles and social anxiety thing, I think Eli has always had trouble communicating verbally, hence why he’s so quiet at first. And even when he does get more talkative, a lot of it is mimicking other people’s speech patterns and ideas (namely Johnny’s at first)--it doesn’t really feel like him talking. Even alone with Demetri, he tends to prefer to let Demetri do the talking, hence Demetri saying Eli’s a “man of few words.” He often prefers to communicate nonverbally through body language, and when he DOES communicate verbally, he does it somewhat sparingly and chooses his words carefully, not usually bothering to say things he doesn’t mean (if he isn’t masking, anyways). THIS is why Demetri was so ready to accept such a short, concise “I’m sorry for all of it” from Eli instead of a long, drawn-out apology for each individual thing he did wrong. Eli knows he doesn’t have to bother masking to communicate with Demetri, so he’s not going to bother saying something that isn’t genuine. Eli has never been the greatest at articulating his thoughts verbally either, so TRYING to apologize for each individual thing he did to Demetri would be extremely hard for him, and Demetri knows this. This is why he accepts Eli’s apology without question and doesn’t expect him to elaborate on it. He knows Eli’s communicating a lot more than he’s actually saying aloud, if that makes any sense, and he cares more about the entirety of what Eli’s trying to say rather than just the spoken part. And Eli definitely communicates he’s genuinely remorseful through his actions as well--saving Demetri from the Cobras, teaming up with Demetri afterwards to help Deme’s side win the fight, straight up openly  BETRAYING Kreese and Cobra Kai AT GREAT PERSONAL RISK TO HIMSELF (especially if Tory’s threat is anything to go by!!!) in order to go back to Demetri. Honestly, given everything he knows about Eli and how he operates, expresses himself, and communicates, I highly doubt Demetri expects at all for Eli to go on a long, detailed rant about how sorry he is and is honestly just grateful to have Eli back in his life.

~I think at the beginning of the show, Demetri puts a lot of work into helping Eli feel as safe and secure as possible--possibly in part because Eli’s autism makes him feel kinda isolated as a “freak” or “outcast” or what have you. Demetri makes an effort to crack jokes and make Eli laugh when no one else will, possibly to help Eli feel more relaxed and at ease. And Demetri’s reluctance to try out karate could be a kind of misguided overprotectiveness on his part--he’s spent a lot of time building up their own little world for them where he can keep Eli relatively comfortable, and he’s worried anything that interferes with that or shakes up the status quo is going to stress out or overwhelm Eli too much. Demetri wants to keep things as they are, because even if it’s not perfect, and they still get bullied on the regular, at least he KNOWS how best to help Eli and help him feel better (or at least he thinks he does) in their current situation (i.e. “I think we’d rather spend our afternoons playing Crucible Control than getting hit in the face”). If they were put into a drastically different new situation, he WOULDN’T know how he should best assist and support Eli with it, and that scares him a lot--because he’s ALWAYS kind of intuitively known how to help Eli, and the thought of anything changing that makes him terrified that without him, Eli is going to get really hurt somehow.

I think that just about covers everything--might add more stuff if I think of it! Definitely go check out @jackonthelongwalk’s blog for more quality, in-depth autistic Eli content!!!

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

101 Open MHA Gen Prompts

I had a very long ask game where people gave me fake titles and I came up with fic ideas to go with them.  Multiple people asked to use some of them as prompts, and some of my friends have lately maligned the lack of gen prompts out there, so I decided to compile them all into a single post.  Almost all of these are gen, aka not shipping, but you can do what you want I’m not your boss.  Everything is free and open to use WITH CREDIT, so have fun with my word vomit.

1. In Dreams I Had the Sun - Being the number one hero isn’t all it’a cracked up to be, Toshinori realizes early on

2. The Chainlink Fence that Held the Ocean - In his new book post-retirement, All Might opens up about his regrets, struggles with mental health, and his issues with the hero system as a whole.  The backlash is swift and intense.

3. Welcome to the Loud Silence - After an injury, Izuku is rendered deaf.

4. Water Since Turned Red - After a villain attack nearly kills All Might, the beach where Izuku used to go to find comfort now feels tainted.

5. all scrap left untouched is bound together - A group hero students who failed the provincial license exam for the third time, effectively ending their careers before they start, get together to take revenge on UA’s first years who beat them out.

6. You’ve saved more more times than you know - Times All Might saved people without his powers, just by being a cool, nice dude.

7. No Amount of Tragedy Can Justify Your Actions - A dying All for One tries to justify his centuries of cruelty to an uncaring Toshinori.

8. To Leave a Cage Locked - One for All is conscious and has a will of its own, one that doesn’t always line up with Izuku’s wellbeing.

9. Okay, who let in the Kraken? - Izuku is the reincarnation of an ancient eldritch horror.

10. keep us alive up above - Izuku and Shigaraki get trapped together somewhere.  Izuku knows he needs the villain’s help to survive and escape, but the other would rather they both die.

11. The world will revolve around me neither less - The ebbs and flows of AFO’s influence over the years.

12. More Roulette, Not Russian - Kids get their quirks swapped.

13. Patron Saints - Toshinori teaches a class about pre-quirk superhero comic characters and their influence.

14. Don't Come Back - Touya Todoroki’s first few weeks after a severe injury resulted in his father abandoning him.

15. The Blessed and the Fool - Toshinori meets up with a few of his ua classmates after retiring.

16. Not Your Sacrifice - Some of the other kids have started adopting some of Izuku’s self sacrificing habits and the teachers are concerned.

17. Break in the Storm - Villains use a power outage as an opening to break into ua.

18. One Day Those Consequences Will Finally Catch Up - Even though the teachers don’t take her concerns seriously, Inko saves every piece of evidence regarding people hurting her son.

19. a garden in their eyes - Izuku meets a fan who got injured after trying to step into a villain fight, just like he did, and it makes him question some things.

20. what could have been, if not for you - After Inko divorces him, Hisashi’s goes to the press to say All Might stole his wife and son.

21. Promised Misery - All Might finds out the severity of Bakugou’s bullying, and warns him he’s on thin ice with him.

22. Fly Up Higher, Blossom Brighter - Izuku has to write a paper for middle school about being positive, intercut with all the bullshit he has to deal with.

23. Libre Me from Hell - One of Izuku’s new quirks is spiral related.

24. No One to Blame but Yourself - Izuku’s kindness doesn’t extend to murderers, tragic backstory or not.

25. At Its Finest - Izuku accidentally gets involved in a hero commission coverup.

26. A Rising Issue - Izuku starts developing more severe side effects of his injuries.  He’s convinced he’s under the influence of a quirk, while the adults thing he’s finally gone too far hurting himself.

27. What you are in the Dark - Izuku usually keeps most of his anger to himself until he can’t.

28. nowhere to go - Inko moves into UA after their home was destroyed.

29. Something Without - My theory about the 2 OFA vestiges that are blurred out is they don’t approve of izuku as a successor.  Izuku tries to figure out why. 

30. Walking with a Ghost - Toshinori joins the OFA dreams while he’s in a coma.  He gets to reunite with nana, and is more open to Izuku about his past and feelings.  Part of his starts to wonder if it’s worth waking up, since he will die and join the others eventually.

31. Death By Crying - Izuku is affected by a quirk that will suffocate him if he expresses any emotion.

32. Justice is Subjective - The hero commission gets to Shigaraki before AFO does.  

33. Undo / Underdog - Death loop fic.  Izuku keeps reliving the day he met all might after being killed by the sludge villain.  he has to find a way to break the loop and survive, but he gets s little weaker every time he restarts.

34. Like Wildfire - A rumor that Izuku is All Might’s bio son picks up steam, and the characters have to decide whether to deny it but risk suspicion or play along and add a new layer to the lies protecting one for all.

35. Once Upon A December - All Might and Inko actually met in the past trope.

36. Some Legends Are Told - All Might’s first interview post-retirement.

37. Will The Real Mentor Please Stand Up - Aizawa considers himself the better teacher, but a lot of the kids seem to like All Might more.

38. I don't want the cure, I want the POISON! - Inko is killed in a hit and run, and Izuku becomes desperate to find the killer.

39. I will kill my heart before I dance on stage for these bigots - Izuku is interviewed as a rising star of UA, and the interviewer brings in some of his old bullies because they claimed to be his friends from middle school.  Izuku does not play along.

40. Split Ends - A quirk gives Izuku brief visions of what would have happened if he made different decisions.

41. Dreamless Sleep - A One for All dream leaves Izuku with a cryptic half-warning, and he desperately experiments to try and figure out how to trigger the visions to get the rest of it.

42. toxic flowers and pretty blades - Young Inko escapes the constricting life of her cruel wealthy family by becoming a vigilante.

43. The Suns we Orbit - Some of the other teachers believe Izuku is too codependent on Toshinori, and separate them for a time.

44. Submerged - Similar to those buried alive fics only someone’s in a box at the bottom of the ocean.

45. Deprive - Izuku also loses his stomach to an injury, and struggles to adjust to the necessary lifestyle changes.

46. The ashes fall like snow - Post Kamino cleanup.

47. Home will always be here - Inko cares for Izuku after he’s sent home due to “trouble at work study” but he refuses to clarify what that means.

48. Playing Favorites - A look at several times where Izuku was punished, while Bakugou got off scot free.

49. Elusive Dreams - Some kind of training or issue forces the kids to stay away for several consecutive day, and they start losing it.

50. Fracture - Izuku struggles through physical therapy after a severe injury that leaves his hero career in question.

51. Starlight, Starbright - Space cadet au

52. Someone in Your Corner - Gran Torino looking after Nana, Toshi, and finally Izuku through the years.

53. I cast magic missile into the darkness - Generic “the gang plays d&d” fic.

54. One Month At A Time - Izuku breaks a limb, and has to let in heal naturally over the course of several months.

55. Head Above Water - Izuku runs out of his pain meds and can’t get access to more doses for a while, so he has to endure not only the pain, but the withdrawal symptoms.

56. Are you going to leave a path to trace - All Might uses a new strategy to try and get Izuku to be less self sacrificial: what about all the young kids who are going to look up to him?

57. The View from Halfway Down - Izuku realizes that a risky move has just landed him with a potentially life threatening injury, but the fight it still going.

58. The Dust Bites Back - A villain All Might defeated early in his career is back and out for revenge.

59. The Absence of your Worth - Nighteye thinks he’s put together a rock solid case for why izuku isn’t worthy of One for All.  All Might’s response is to ask if he has something against quirkless people.

60. Behind the Screens Nobody is Afraid - All Might explains some of the context of his most popular hero videos to Izuku.  They are much more tragic than the media has spun them in hindsight.

61. Under the Light of the Moon - Someone gets turned into a werewolf.  And I ain’t talking the wattpad piss shit.  I’m talking full-on back-breaking monstrous transformations into a bloodthirsty abomination set to Bad Moon Rising.

62. some dreams were made to be broken - Bakugou crosses a line and finally gets expelled.

63. You Say You're Into Closure - Izuku finally beats Bakugou in a one on one fight fair and square, but Bakugou is a sore loser.

64. Something or Someone Missing - AU’s memories of Izuku get wiped, but those closest to him can’t help but feel an absence.

65. Too Little Too Late - Izuku’s father returns to find he’s been replaced.

66. Collecting Dust - Inko goes through the stuff Izuku didn’t take to the dorms.

67. Where the souls of wanderers go - Toshi meets up with a retired hero support group.

68. Fragility of Trust - Suspected traitor au

69. no one answered - Izuku is trapped in a cell in a building that’s collapsing in slow motion due to a quirk.

70. Eye of the Storm - One of the other kids has a panic attack for the first time between public appearances.  izuku has never seen from from the outside.

71. To Whom It May Concern - The kids find a mysterious collection of letters from previous students hidden in the ceiling of the classroom.  Some are ominous, some are incomprehensible.  Aizawa has no answers.  They enthusiastically go to try and solve the mystery within, but that excitement quickly diminishes the more they find out.

72. Of Popsicles and Ponytails - All Might gets in a discussion with the other teachers about whether the Clark Kent glasses thing would actually work.  All Might bets them it does, so he goes around town with no disguise other than his hair being up, and no one bats an eye.

73. All Men are Not Born Equal - Word gets out to the public that izuku used to be quirkless.  Everyone finds out just how deep anti-quirkless sentiments run when some begin to question whether a quirkless kid should be at ua, regardless of whether or not he has a quirk now.

74. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies - Something about encountering death in person for the first time being the dividing line between child and adult.

75. Sins of the Father - All for One has had many children over the centuries, and has made numerous attempts to groom them into the ideal heir with several different methods.  None of them worked though.

76. Where The Dead Come To Rest - The kids come home after a long, grueling mission where they saw some shit, and are too tired to process what they went through.  They take off their gear for plain clothes, then sit in the common room in silence long into the night, not wanting to open themselves up but also not wanting to be alone.

77. Rivalry - Nighteye tries to pit Izuku and Mirio against one another.  It goes right over Mirio’s head, but Izuku becomes convinced the other boy is in on Nighteye’s plan to wear him down until he gives up One for All.

78. A Subtle Language - All Might and Nana never said out loud that they loved each other, but little things told them that they did.  All Might hopes to pass a similar love down to his own successor.  But Izuku is very different than himself as a kid, and he needs to learn a new subtle language of affection.

79. It’s Gone - One for All stops working one day.

80. A Sight For Sore Eyes - All Might looking after Izuku in the aftermath of the second movie.

81. Loose Lips (sink ships) - Bakugou blurts out something about One for All during a rage, so the rest of the class jump on him and Izuku for answers.

82. No Expectations - Word gets out that All Might is going to choose a successor.  None of the theories or speculation online resemble Izuku in the slightest.

83. Eden was Only a Garden - Izuku gets hit with a quirk that erases some of his most traumatic memories, but in doing so loses part of who he is.

84. Run it Down - With all Izuku’s new quirks and his incredible skill, some of the other students with similar powers (Iida, Sero, Uraraka) start to feel like izuku is upstaging them.  And it affects their friendship.

85. Fool's Gold - Bakugou grows even more jealous of Izuku having One for All, and his relationship with All Might.  He thinks that if he could just prove himself to be more worthy, All Might would change his mind and name him his successor.  But in reality, he ends up jeopardizing the relationship they already have.

86. somewhere down the road - The final deadline for Nighteye’s predictions passes, and All Might lives.  He debates telling Izuku, as even though it would be a weight off the boy’s mind, he doesn’t want to jinx it.  He will still die eventually after all.

87. Just For You - All Might has certain rules and boundaries for fan interactions that he completely ignores for Izuku.

88. if these walls could talk (their whispers would be maddening) - Montage of training accidents in a ‘cursed’ ua gym

89. If Only I Could... - Nighteye tells Mirio about One for All, including that he thinks he’s more deserving than Izuku and he plans to pressure him into giving it up.  Mirio struggles with the knowledge that his mentor, someone he respected more than anything, only saw him as a replacement for All Might, meanwhile watching Izuku strain under the pressure of that mentor’s impossible expectations.

90. This is a Test Designed to Provoke an Emotional Response - shameless Blade Runner AU

91. Once and for All - Retelling of the Superman story “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way?” with All Might.  Some new heroes use much more aggressive and violent tactics against villains while also upstaging All Might.  That, and there general approval from the public cause All Might to question his moral code.

92. Sitting In The Rain - Tsuyu likes to just sit out in the rain sometimes.  Not do anything, just sit there.  Some friends decide to join her.

93. At Sundown - Mysterious creatures start attacking ua every night.  The gang works tirelessly during the day to find the cause and a solution, while defending their school and each other at night.

94. The 1000th time's the charm - Uraraka has been practicing a new move in secret but they just can’t get it right.  She wants it to be perfect before showing it off.  But one attempt gets her seriously hurt while training alone at night in one of the gyms, and she’s too hurt to get up to the phone to call for help.

95. Sunflower Seeds - All Might attempts to start a garden as a new hobby.

96. What It Means To Be Human - Sun god Toshi starts living among people.

97. Eyes on Me - All Might teaches Izuku some unarmed fighting moves to defend himself from bullies.

98. one remains - Izuku has developed all but one of the quirks he’s slated to, and he has no idea what it will be.  Anxiety ensues.

99. Come Back Home - Izuku vanishes from campus and everyone assumes he was kidnapped, but in reality he ran away to try and clear his head after a depressive spiral.  He goes by train as far away as he can until he comes to his senses and calls the others.

100. I Won - Izuku accidentally managed to kill Shigaraki during a skirmish, and while everyone around him praises his heroics, he struggles to deal with the fact that he killed someone.

101. Ivory Tower - All Might grapples with how much izuku suffered as a quirkless person, how he could have done more for quirkless rights in his time as a hero, and how now people may not care as much because he’s retired.

Reminder to credit me if you use any of these prompts, and a special thanks to everyone who submitted titles!

[nomoregoldfish]

I Promised You The Moon rant

Just binged it and this was from the episode by episode reaction/discussion with my partner in crime @glossyboy.

First of all, Oab stole the show, singlehandedly, which he's not supposed to. I don't think anyone expected it including himself. In the very top post when I searched his name on tumblr, he said this lol

But the truth is he played one hell of "villain" that required a very nuanced performance and he delivered it in a believable and graceful manner. Jai became the catalyst of the entire season and his rather complicated relationship with Teh was the highlight of part 2.

EP 1

From the very beginning it's clear that part 2 is very much a Teh's story rather than a balanced story about two young people's journey as a couple in the next chapter of their lives. It makes me uncomfortable they made Oh-aew clingy and pessimistic without giving him any character development.

The best part is probably the opening scene where they went paper-rock-scissors to decide who's gonna buy condoms. It felt authentic, the expectation, the hesitation, the mischievous act, all fits their characters well. Other times ep 1 was more like two adult kids playing house, literally in an empty giant ass upper middle class apartment.

EP 2

It's great that they poked the femininity vs. masculinity issue through Oh-aew, but stopped right there at the surface. Missed a perfect opportunity to go head-to-head with the controversial topic, start a debate, crush the stigma of femininity, bring something new, be a real game changer of the BL genre, and most importantly give Oh-aew some concrete character development. Part 1 showed us a gay character that's very comfortable with his sexuality and femininity, that's almost revolutionary in Asia, not as a comic relief but a leading role. Oh-aew questioned his own sexual identity once in that bra wearing scene, it's straight out of comfort zone, BOLD, and transgressive. So I expected more from part 2.

That's it? And they're already sophomores? Can't believe Oh-aew's character has been marginalized like this. It's pathetic.

But I love the brutally honest conversation at the end where Teh vented his rage and despair regarding his frustration of acting. He was acting like a dick because he's disappointed, and scared. Teh again was not afraid of showing vulnerability, making the reconciliation very realistic and touching.

EP 3

Dare I say I freaking love ep 3! The unresolved (partially sexual, but not entirely) tension between Teh and Jai was over the roof! And the built-up to their kiss was very authentic, which paled Teh and Oh-aew's much sidelined storyline, including the long anticipated sex scene (still can't believe it happened right after Jai explicitly instructed Teh to do it after the two spent a whole night bonding, like wow! Totally TRANSGRESSIVE and to some extent, kinky.) Teh looked up to the senior, idolized him, wanted to be good for him and make him proud, thirsted for the validation from him, which was mixed with affections. The workshop diary was a brilliant idea to let them open up to each other and eventually bring them close. This was what a meaningful arc of a story looked like. By contrast, there isn't a single moment between Oh-aew and Teh in part 2 that made me go "Damn it's soooooo hot!"

I know Jai/Teh wasn't the endgame but I appreciate the storyline so much. It's a very bold move considering it broke the over-glorified "one true love in one's life" fantasy of its target audience, mostly young cis women. The popular narrative of "you can only love one person through your life/one true love" in romance fictions/chick flicks was totally smashed. And it wasn't written just to stir up things between Teh and Oh-aew, it wasn't a silly fling. Instead, it's meaningful, complicated, natural, and realistic, delivered by nuanced and excellent acting from two young actors. It's hilarious that fans hate Jai with a passion and call him names.

And big news, Jai is bi?! Bravo! He's radiating bi vibes since his first appearance.

I kind of gave up at this point, the season wouldn't do Oh-aew any justice. Like my partner in crime pointed out, the costume design literally threw some "incongruous female fashion pieces" on Oh-aew, made him dye his hair red, without...making any actual point of his personality or his character development. Wardrobe was supposed to make a point in storytelling. Yes, PP wearing pink is cute, and? There's nothing else for Oh-aew. Unfortunately he's reduced to this sulky, crying, and wronged partner in a failing relationship.

EP 4

Oab again was killing it. The tension between Jai and Teh...from the rehearsal in front of Oh-aew to the dressing room pep talk, was incredibly intense and hot AF.

Was it a manipulative relationship after all? Oab was so good at conveying a character with many faces. Jai's a mentor to Teh, also a good friend, their relationship was genuine. He's also ambitious with his own goals, he used, challenged, provoked Teh in a way that benefited them both. It made sense the title of part 2, I Promised You The Moon, was from Jai's script. He promised Teh what the junior wanted the most, a bright future in acting. Teh's unconventional and unspoken feelings for Jai was the best part of the entire season in terms of creative writing, it's complicated, fragile, delicate and completely heartbreaking.

The after talk in the hallway was so well-written. It's funny (Teh joking about playwrights always write about their EXs is gold), intimate yet meticulously controlled, no one lashed out or wept. Both knew what they signed up for and Jai particularly made it clear about his motive and the purpose of the "special workshop" beforehand (or right away.) Yet it's no one's fault that Teh got carried away. He's younger, he's immature, he's more into it, it's totally natural. It's so romantic when Teh's singing karaoke in the bar with Oh-aew, yet he couldn't help but desperately staring at Jai on the floor, knowing he and the man who just turned him down were never gonna happen, they were done, but he's still madly attracted to him and his talent. He fancied Jai, at least the idea of Jai, a playwright, a director, someone knew him better than himself. That hurt beautifully.

EP 5

Teh/Oh-aew endgame at this point was pretty meaningless. Oh-aew as a leading character never got any solid character development over a span of four years. What happened between Jai and Teh wasn't just "cheating", though they surely made it look that way, like Teh's empty promise of "I won't see him again after the show ends". No matter how Oh-aew and Teh eventually reconciled, there's no emotional connection, no sparkle anymore between the couple.

But I knew for a fact they had to. Otherwise it's too much of a risk financially for the series. The creators had to take the easy way out like most traditional romances—one of the most contrived and formulaic trope where the male leading character made a mistake (usually cheating) and realized he's wrong, he deeply hurt the female leading character (Oh-aew was merely a girl substitute in part 2), then he completely changed for hell knew what reasons, started doing every nicest thing in the world to try to "win" the female character back. It has been feeding the emotionally-deprived cis female readers/audience who are frustrated with heterosexual relationship irl for decades. The formula that made romance outsell other genres of fictions combined in the 60s and 70s still sells today, under the name of boys' love. It's pathetic to see Oh-aew confess to Bas that he always "lost" to Teh. Love shouldn't be some kind of game or competition, there isn't winner or loser in love. Love is spontaneous. Oh-aew didn't lose because Teh developed feelings for someone else, and he didn't win when Teh begged him for reconciliation. People change, people move on.

And as predicted, they went for it. The ending was so absurd and tedious.

Overall, Jai's probably the hardest villain to play, he needed to be REALLY GOOD to be "the bad guy", to make his role conceivable. Oab absolutely nailed it with his talent and experience. He's not even my type or extremely good looking yet I'm 100% SOLD. I immediately re-watched the scene of him kissing Teh back hungrily at the end of ep 3 like I used to re-watch Teh/Oh-aew's steamy make out session at the end of episode 3 part 1. Coincidence?

I like some parts of both seasons for the same reason, each challenged and tried to break some outdated/contrived narratives in the BL genre. Part 1 took on the sexuality taboo by showing two same sex characters sexually attracted to each other, no more "I'm not into boys, I just happened to fall for someone of the same gender" or "pure love" bullshit. By staying true to the characters' sexuality and actually showing it with explicit, intense (and beautifully shot) scenes, the gay characters were normalized. They weren't just pure and innocent, no one was. And it created two of most unconventional gay characters in Asian pop culture, Oh-aew, a beautiful boy who's very comfortable with his own sexuality and femininity, not passive at all, taking initiative to pursue what he wanted; and Teh, a sensitive, caring and vulnerable boy who cried a lot, he's confused but also sweet and brave.

Part 2 tackled the "You can only love one person through your life" trope with a very nuanced story of "cheating". Yet neither carried out what they started. Part 1 fell short of a revolutionary piece that stayed true to "adolescent sexual turmoil", dismissing bisexuality and becoming a typical unrealistic BL fantasy in the end. And Part 2, ugh, forced a "happy ending" that almost no one digs. I understand it's extremely difficult and risky to disrupt the established norms of a genre. But sometimes being transgressive and progressive could be the same thing. A story, an artwork, has to challenge something in order to create something new and compelling.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Tis the Damn Season

Chapter 6- Last Christmas

Hi all! Sorry she took forever- I edited all by myself, so be gentle!

Plans change. Tickets do too, it seems. Harry's beautiful hope, his gift, it came in handy.

Not in the right way, the intended way. Not because she came to him, ran around the world or even an unfamiliar city with him. Those were dreamy ideas, when she wound up spending all of fall semester in Holmes Chapel. Those daydreams shaded the hospital walls and funeral home with sunny possibilities.

Her father had a heart attack and her mother a breakdown. It was too late, when her mother noticed he'd been out with the dog for too long and the dog was inside whining.

"I knew, in my gut. Day dawned wrong. And then never ended." She'd cried. Her mother had cried in her arms in a reversal Emma felt was way beyond her maturity level.

That hadnt been over the phone. Over the phone had only been muffled sobbing and her dad's name, "John."

Emma didn't call him John, but she could forgive her mother. It was up to her mother's good friend Di to share the news: Emma had always looked up to Di, she'd had some tragic marriage in her youth, and then decided god damned men weren't for her.

At the moment, Emma was of a similar mind.

Emma assumed she'd have a similar life to Di, had planned for it actually. Di had her own house, a thriving career as a solicitor and no children. A life like that, of her own, was Emma's dearest wish before she wished to be able to say yes to Harry.

Now she just wished her dad was still around.

There were so many plans to make, a funeral to finance and a mother to support, to put back together.

It's a wonder Emma wasn't an outright romantic, the way her parents had been, lifelong sweethearts. They still had moon eyes for each other until the very end, could be found holding hands on the couch often. Emma had come home unexpectedly early last year and found her mother sitting on the kitchen counter with her father between her legs making out like teenagers.

It was a lot to live up to.

Emma supposed it was why she kept all her heart eyes and love life in the closet and saved it all up to spend once a year. Just like an old lady's Christmas budget.

This year, she didn't think it would be happening. Harry must have had some rich person thing going on with the ticket, because the minute she decided that rather than ask her mom to buy her a ticket to get home, for the funeral, instead use the one she  had from Harry, he'd called. There was clear excitement in his voice, hot on the heels of her phone call to the airlines. It was August. He was set to embark soon, she'd just got back to Amsterdam. He must have thought she was gonna sneak in a cheeky visit.

"You're coming?"

"What?" She was so disoriented. Coming where? What was going on? Her brain was muffled with plans her feelings kept stumbling over at the knees like a trip wire.

"To see me? I got a notification you used the ticket?"

Her brain was muddled, like an egg in a hot pan, what? How did he do that? "No, Harry, umm I'm not coming. I don't even know where you are right now." She barely knew where she was.

"Whose fault is that?" There was a tiny edge to his voice that would cut her if she could even notice. "You could have answered my calls."

"Harry," she sighed, she had been avoiding him a bit. Mostly because she had an evergreen memory of his disappointed face when she told him going on tour was too much, that she simply didn't have the time. She was glad she couldn't see his face when she said the next bit. His voice was buoyant with hope, she was about to pop that balloon. "I need the ticket to go somewhere else." She couldn't bear to say it, was biting her lip hard not to think it, the liquid memory brimming anyway.

"Yeah, ok. Well, Happy Christmas I guess. See you in four months, maybe." The bitterness in his voice was like an old lemon and she didn't even have time to sweeten it with truth when his phone clicked off.

That made her resentful. How could this truth be sweet in any way? It got worse over time, the resentment just nestled among her other griefs.

Then he wouldn't answer her calls. She supposed that was giving her a taste of her own medicine and it was a quick wash down her throat with no water after the other jagged pill life had just forced down her throat.

And it didn't get better. Though, she had to scoff at herself for even having a square of heart for Harry to break leftover.

Break it did though, when she heard he had a new girlfriend, a blonde, a model, a French blonde model.

Of course.

Emma couldn't help but stalk her instagram. His was useless, ill used, so when she'd finished a day of running the house she'd been a child in while taking care of her grieving mother, she'd torture herself some more and watch stories where the beautiful blonde played in a pool, or made jokes, or showed the big mirror over her bed.

That one hurt most. She'd never seen Harry's bed, nor he hers. The little devil voice inside her head whisper shouted that he much preferred the one he was in now, with the mirror and the model to the tiny inn room they'd spent all their overnights in.

She didn't hear from him, and she never called to explain herself either. What would she say? My life fell apart and I needed your ticket, but it hurt to much to say it out loud and you were to much of an asshole to let me say it.

Harry wasn't an asshole, not really, he was hurt. Emma was stunned she had that power, though she had admitted to herself there was more between them than mistletoe kisses and holiday fucks.

She'd admitted it was more to her.

He acted like it was more to him, unless this was just a bruised ego. She didn't like to think that. Harry had every reason to have a giant head, figuratively to go with the oversized cranium he actually sported, but he'd never shown it. He was cocky at times, just enough to be sexy. All of that was a veneer over a sweet vulnerability that made everybody want to be around him, protect him, love him.

Did she love him?

No, she didn't think so, but given more time, the potential was there, like a rock at the top of a hill, all it would take was a push.

Which, time on tour with him would have been. If she could have went. Which she couldn't. She wanted to explain all of this to him as soon as she has the chance- which she would in 6 hours.

Her promises to herself were that she would not cry and that she would accept his new relationship. His real relationship. Emma would not try to touch him, or kiss him, or confess her almost love to him.

He was probably in love himself, from her internet stalks, she was halfway there, with both of them. Harry edged it out by being perfect in person. Camille, that was frenchies name, could only be half as perfect as Emma made her in her head.

"Do I wear the sweater?" She asked her reflection. She'd had to become her best friend the last six months. Emma might have called her mom her best friend, just based on time spent together, if their relationship was reciprocal, but at this turn of the road, she was supporting her mom as she grieved and got back to herself. Emma could see glimmers. She had hope.

She however wasn't sure she had hope for herself. Was she really contemplating wearing the sweater Harry gave her last Christmas to his mother's Christmas party? How pathetic was that? She was rolling her eyes at herself. He'd had a big year, and he bought lots of gifts, probably for his new girl, so her thinking he'd remember felt narcissistic.

Plus, it was her favorite, which mostly had nothing to do with the fact it was from Harry.

Emma really didn't want to go, but Gemma was expecting her. And she really needed to see her, have her support. They'd been texting, a lot. Gemma had heard about her dad and reached out. It was the only emotionally connection Emma really had, those texts, and she needed to see Gemma, honestly. Even if it meant seeing Harry.

She might have wanted to see Harry.

To explain, and maybe just to see him. Make sure he was happy, feel his warmth, steal him back.

No, that was unlikely. See if he was happy and wish him well.

She wore the sweater.

The house was cozy when she arrived, like it always was and it thawed her heart enough for it to ache a bit. For something new. Her heart ached a fair bit off and on, then went numb. It was the only way she'd survived lately. Emma knew she was putting off really feeling her major loss.

It was a strange pleasure to mourn something as minor as heartbreak.

The hug from Gemma made the trip through the snow and down memory lane worth it. And the people all around her and their laughter were invigorating.

The alcohol helped as well. Their house was pretty dry but had been especially when she started to notice her mom was unconsciously developing a bottle a day habit. When it wasn't there she didn't mention it though, so Emma didn't buy it, except for special occasions.

She was merry, and felt held. Her hand was in Gemma's. She'd stayed away from the back bathroom and the kitchen, even come in the front door.

Emma felt like she was getting away with it.

Harry wasn't there, with girlfriend in tow or not. So all her pontificating about checking on him was all for naught, and she was getting all the crosses. She certainly felt like today was a plus.

Until she heard a tone of elation issue from Anne's happy voice that only motherly joy could produce.

Harry was here.

"Fuck!" Came out of her mouth, and Gemma looked at her sharply.

"What?"

"Nothing, guess I'm jumpy, your mum's shout made me spill." Emma thought she shouted an excuse me while she hurried up the stairs to hide, find a place farthest away from Harry and his happiness. He might be alone, but if he was glowing like a brand, the way he did when they holed up together only slightly dimmed by their parting, now because of it, from some other lover, Emma couldn't stand it.

Plus, she thought she'd heard another name connected to his over her own rated r exclamation.

She was coming out of the bathroom. Emma had suppressed her tears ruthlessly and her bottom lip might bruise from the brutal teeth marks she employed. She'd have given herself some words in the mirror, affirmations helped, but what was she gonna say. "You're happy for him."

She wasn't. She was happy with him.

"Fuck this." Emma decided the only course of action was a straight line to her parents house. her mother's house, she mentally corrected and gave herself a more legitimate reason to cry than over a boy. Even if that boy was Harry Styles.

Who she barely stopped herself from running into as she kept her head down and rounded the bannister to head down the stairs.

"Jesus! You gave me a fright!" She dramatized and kept a hand over her heart and her tear stained face down.

"Emma." His voice was flat, and not cold, but the warmth that snuggled around her name was absent and she shivered. "I wondered if you'd be here." Not Hoped, she noted. "What are you doing up here? Don't your usually use the back bathroom?" There was just a bit of heat in that statement, but it didn't warm, it burned. Was he being mean, that wasn't like him? "Nice sweater." Ok, definitely mean.

Her face came up with that thought, it shocked her out of the sense of control she was exercising.

He did look hard, mean, for a moment, but soft around the edges like a melting popsicle when he caught her face.

"Are you crying?" His hand came up and he stopped it mid air before it wiped away her tear.

Emma felt her body lean into him and another tear slipped out when his warm palm and always chilly finger tips touched her cheek.

God she'd missed him! While she was bolstering her mother, she'd needed support. He was supportive, or would have been. But he wasn't taking her calls, and she couldn't bring herself to text, "my dad died". Then, it was such old news, she figured he'd have heard from Gemma.

He took his hand away like she was a hot cooktop.

He pushed his hair back off his forehead with the hand probably damp with her tears and bravely changed the subject. "How long you in town for this time? Jetting off to some climate refuge hotspot soon?"

Emma flinched. Oh- he didn't know.

"Un, no, I'm living here." She didn't elaborate, maybe saying it out loud was as hard as texting it. "I was actually just about to head home to check on my mum. The back bathroom was in use, and the cold makes me need to pee." What the fuck was she talking about, he didn't need that information.

His dimple pressed in just a bit and he went to say something, but Emma just couldn't. She couldn't look at him anymore, or tell him about why she lived there, or about the ticket he seemed to have been hurt enough to move on over. She definitely didn't want to see evidence of his movement, especially not his upgrade. "Anyway, nice to see you," the words shot out of her mouth, impresonal and true. "Bye Harry."

"Wait Emma!" She thought she heard, but she just kept going. She'd tell Gemma she was sick.

She nearly was when she saw Harry's girlfriend hugging her closest friend in the living room.

"Oh god."

Luckily, when she got home, her mum was awake and feeling chatty, not blue. Emma focused on her and the special she was watching. Let the warm sound of her mother's once common laughter wrap around her as a blanket. It was more comforting than a cup of tea.

She waited until later to cry herself to sleep.

The next day was Christmas- the first without her father. She dried her rightful tears before she saw her mom, though she would have had all the standing in the world for them and she felt better about them than those she's shed the night before. She knew though that her wet face would cause a cascade event, the first drop in a waterfall, so she dried them up.

They had traditions to get through.

And get through they did. They each wrapped a gift for her father that they left under the tree and held each other right before tucking into a late brunch and preparing a boozy and sweet laden Christmas dinner, Emma contributed the puddings.

They were very much her mother's favorite, and she broke out a scandi recipe she'd enjoyed the last several years.

She Skyped her university friends, they exchanged the small gifts she'd mailed them and them her. She missed them something awful. She missed school horribly, so much she even emailed her advisor. All of her heart hoped to return after the winter break.

Emma thought the feeling of missing something was a bit like a paper cut and losing your keys combined.

Harry called late Christmas Day, just a few minutes shy of Boxing Day. That more than stung, it was a gut punch, or a knife plunge, though she'd never had either.

Emma ignored the call from Harry. What was there to say?

Boxing Day, well, Emma wasn't much of a drinker, but it was basically a tenet of British culture to get obliterated while watching the queen.

For the last several years, Emma had been off her face on Harry. This year she chose savingnon blanc with her mum. Two days, then they'd go back to a dry house. Tradition was tradition, and she couldn't think about the one she'd started and ached all over for.

What a pale imitation of ecstasy drunkenness was, though she supposed they both left a hangover, a residue.

Her bed, when she begged off to it early was warm and fragrant, but it smelled all wrong. No sandalwood or black coffee, not even the mint she'd come to associated with the comfort of love, or something like it.

It was worse, because when she closed her eyes, having seen Harry's someone in person, she could see him snugged up to her, so cozy. It was in their place, their room at the Boat's Head.

It was over, Boxing Day, when she puked.

She had another missed call from Harry. 11:59 Her personal witching hour.

The next day was a little bit better, either because she had her literal hangover to tend, or because she'd ripped the bandaid off her hurt and let the wound air.

"Hiya!" Gemma's voice and face were bright, unlike the gray day.

"Hello." Emma smiled and her voice held it, she held onto it. "You're merry!"

"Yeah, I'm at the pub. Everybody is at the pub," she flashed the phone around so Emma could see the waving swaying people, "we wanted to get you outta the house, you made such an effective Irish exit the other day you've let your people down, we need to see your smile. You feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you." Emma thought about it, there was a pull to the pub. "Um, maybe I can swing over."

It only took a few minutes to throw on jeans and a jumper, not her former favorite. The walk was a little longer.

When she found them, her first comment was "Im not drinking!" Over a grimace.

"Too much wine with old Elizabeth, huh? " Gemma Laughed

"Yes! Did you know my mum has a long pour?" Emma shared with a laugh.

"No, but mine's gotten more heavy on the booze with me lately, they must like the new stages. Daughters as actual friends and drinking partners. Mum is thrilled!" Gemma grinned.  "So am I! Harry's a little jealous."

Emma tried to catch her grimace before it stomped across her face. Gemma kept talking and she thought she'd got away with it.

"He wants to be one of the girl's! He came down last night and mum, Camille and I were sharing wine and mum was showing her atrocious pictures. You'd think he'd be mad or embarrassed! He was like, 'Where's my glass?'" Gemma was staring at her while she chuckled.

Emma had less success not responding. Her face was a picture she was sure, a jealous one. And then she heard herself asking, "what's she like?" She gulped down the g word she almost voiced. "Camille?"

Gemma made a funny face, then looked at her again. "Um, she's silly and kinda quiet and I think she's worried my mom will care she's posed nude."

She wouldn't. That wasn't Anne's style. And if she did have an issue, she'd never voice it. She was really big on respecting her kids choices. Even some of the stupider ones Harry had made.

Was she ranked among those now?

"Why do you ask?" The gentleness in a Gemma's voice told Emma she knew more than she was saying.

Emma couldn't explain, she was still in such a tender state, like a fissured piece of glass, she knew she couldn't go over it. "I just hope Harry's happy."  It was the only true thing she could say.

And Gemma, bless her just looped her arm through Emma's and said like she was holding a cracked egg. "He is." She left it at that, before she stood, pulling Emma after her. "And we need another drink." Apparently Emma was drinking, she needed it.

They spent another couple hours at the pub and Emma walked home through the soft snow. Her nose was stuffy, and her eyes were leaking, and she was drunk. Least she realized she must be, cuz she was crying. She really hated crying.

She was still weeping under her breath when she got home and found Harry on her doorstoop.

"You're still here?" She boggled. She assumed he'd taken his girlfriend to his big London home Emma had never been to, since she wasn't ever his g word.

"Yeah." He rubbed his hands over his corduroy flares. She'd consider what that might mean, but the pants distracted her. Those were new, must be getting fashion influences from new places, mew people. Those pants were roomy for him. He looked good in them. He looked good, happy.

"Did you need something?" Seeing himwas ripping her guts out and she could barely keep more tears at bay. Her insides were dangerously close to the skin now, tender and exposed. She hoped the distance between them and the weather and, well, maybe his rose colored glasses brought on by loving some other girl, he wouldn't notice her crying.

Over him. At the moment.

"No, I, um," he swallowed. "I thought we might talk." He made those green eyes at her and she hated it. Cuz they were soft and for someone else these days.

"I think we've said it all."

"We haven't said anything, not really, in a year."

"Yeah, well actions over words mate." Good, she was angry. She tried to go around him, into her door. Out of the cold and this situation.

"Emma, wait." He caught her shoulders and her blood froze in her veins but her tears were hot on her cheeks. "I'mso sorry about your dad." He choked up too.

She looked at him and let hurt run down her face, didn't even bother trying to stiffen her upper lip. When he opened his arms, she went to him and cried in a way she really hadn't let herself, into the comfort of his scent, the hurt of his presence.

Emma wasn't sure how long she cried, they wound up siting on the cold stone bench when their knocking knees froze.

"S that why you used the ticket?" He whispered against her hair sometime later.

She nodded. Sniffed up her tears and his pain laced smell.

"Why didn't you call me?"

She shrugged.

"I would have understood. And I would have come, to be with you."

Her tears apparently hadn't run out. She knew that, but she was hurt, by his hurt and his expectation.

She looked up at him. Her lips were so close to his, the outer edge that felt so plush and lovely.

That was a Liberty she didn't have. Maybe never a right she had, like him just expecting her to drop her goals to go to him.

"Where's your girlfriend?" She said the word like the four letters it felt like it was to her.

"Um," he stumbled over the subject change . "She was tired."

"You tell her you were coming to see a girl you used to fuck?"

"What?" He looked at her with a frown and Emma supposed she was being mean, mean but honest. "Don't say it like that. That's not what we were about."

Emma quirked a brow at him. "No?"

"Listen, why are you being like this?" He swallowed and looked like the wronged party when he was the one who assumed the worst of her, then abandoned her, moved on, and showed up, she could only assume, to rub it in her face.

The last year had been the worst of her life, and he'd been part of that. Mostly his absence.

Whoever's fault that was.

"Look, I don't need your pity or your condolences. Or your forgiveness. You just assumed I was taking advantage of you like you didn't know me at all. Which I realized is true apart from knowing what I look like naked, right? Let's be honest Harry? Huh, I'm just the girl you used to fuck over break. Your Christmas bit of fun. Til you found your next model. Who you couldn't wait to come home and show off, right in my face. So if we were more, you're a heartless asshole." She was crying over him now, but half the tears at least were angry and her face must be bright red.

The kicked puppy look on his face was so genuine and felt so false to her she could scream. "Why would I even think you would care if I had a girlfriend or not? If anybody was just the person the other thought of as a holiday fling, it was you about me, Emma."  He huffed, took down the finger he'd stood up to point at her. "I tried for more, asked for more?"

"When?" He'd asked for more, how'd she miss that?

"What'd you think the ticket was for? That was me asking you for more, at least more time?"

"I don't have extra time." She countered. Emma supposed that was some mealy mouthed passive way of saying you wanted to spend time with a person at least.

"And I do?" He yelled that before taking a big breath and muttering sorry. "Listen, I know what you're about, and that you are very serious saving the world, but I'm just as busy as you, more, and I would have made time for you."

"Why?" She stood up into his space. "So I could just miss you more, fall more for you and not get to have you in any real way? To torture myself?" And there is was. Emma knew the ache of the first weeks without him, and she'd always counted their brief time together as worth it. Subjecting herself to more just seemed masochistic. "Have more time with you so I have to get over you all over again multiple times a year."

"Who says you would have had to get over me? We could have been together!" Both of their voices had escalated past the bounds of polite disagreement.

"Together in every way except literally?" She threw her hands out at her sides. "What's the point of that?"

"The point?" He huffed. "The point is that I wanted you and you wanted me, and we could have had each other, but you're too busy," he sneered, "and couldn't talk to me."

"I couldn't talk to anyone!" She screamed. "I was supposed to text you that my dad died and I needed to use the ticket that was supposed to be a gift but was more like a curse, to take care of my mom. That my dream was at best on hold while I made sure my mum could get out of bed?" He looked a little slapped. "While you were off what? Being a rockstar? Having a record breaking year? Moving on? Out of spite?!" She didn't want to think that, but she'd wondered. She knew she was giving herself to much credit. "Why you made sure to bring her to Holmes Chapel? You take her to the Boar's Head too? Or just fuck her in your mum's powder room?" The words were explosive, the cadence like charges lighting off each other. Emma felt like a powder keg.

He was shaking his head. "Stop it. No, no, I didn't move on, not until I thought you were done with me."

"Oh, when I needed you and you wouldn't answer my calls?"

He looked at the ground then. When his eyes came up , the lovely green of them was even more vibrant, due to the tears crowding around their ages. "Emma, I'm so sorry about that. I'll never forgive myself."

His sincerity softened her, though the anger she'd wrapped around herself like a coat was all that was keeping her ribs together.

"I'm so sorry, I know the last year has been more than anybody should have to bear, especially alone." He took  a big breath. "But Camille, I didn't, it's not," he stumbled over the words like they were glass edges, but Emma had a feeling she was the one who was about to get cut. "Um, she and I just met and, well, we, we get on." That was a kind way to put it. "I wasn't looking for somebody else. But I was lonely and she's," the changes on his face ripped through Emma. "She's lovely. I brought her home, because I wanted mum to meet her." That told Emma everything.

"You love her?" She already knew the answer.

He ran his hand through his locks, avoided eye contact until the last second, "yeah, yeah, I think I might."

Emma was nodding, biting her lip to gatekeep the fresh round of tears threatening. "That's good Harry, I'm," she breathed, "I'm happy for you."

He looked at her then. "Really?"

"Course, I care about you, your happiness." That brought on the tears and he reached for her and she had to throw up her hands to keep him away. "No, no, please don't touch me."

His phone rang, he was the only person she knew who actually kept their ringer on. Well the only person under 50, it made her smile. Then cringe, the weird personal knowledge she had because of how much of an almost they were. From his face, Emma knew it was his actual calling.

"Um," he shady buttoned the call. "I have to go."

"Yeah," was all she could respond with, she already knew that. "Well, have a happy nee year Harry. You sticking around?" God she hoped not. May have to convince her mum to go to London if so.

He shook his head, "Um no, we're going to Paris." Ouch. Emma tried for subtle when she wrapped an arm around herself. "Sorry, I'd like," he always looked so genuine lately, in every interview she'd watched to hurt herself, his heart on his sleeve, in his eyes now. "I'd like to hug you, think you could stomach it?"

Emma nodded and went to him for the barest second and then concentrated on the pressure behind her eyes while he kept her close. "I'm so sorry Emma, for everything. I'd really like to be friends," he'd pulled back to hold her eye line at that.

She nodded, she wasn't sure how she'd handle that, but at best it was a couple phone calls, and no weekends away, they hadn't mentioned that in their middle state, she didn't think it would be to hard to keep him at arms length when they had continents between them most times. "Yeah, ok, friends. You take care of yourself, Harry." Emma was a strong girl, woman now, she could handle some texts and a phone call or so.

He kissed her cheek, a continental affectation she closed her eyes over and turned to go. He was almost out of the gate when he turned back. "I'd never take her to the Boar's Head, by the way, that's our place. I'd never take anybody else there." Before she could even think of a response he looked away quick and started to go. "Take care of yourself, Emma. Happy New Year." That came back to her on the wind.

Blew away like the hold she had on the heart she'd given him last Christmas. At least he was someone special.

[muertawrites]

Hey! I absolutely loved your Zuko x reader one host you wrote, and I was wondering if you could do one where Zuko and the reader barely talk, but she’s part of Azula’s friend group. At the beach some stuff happens, and Zuko finds out she’s not as crazy as he thought she was. Kind of angst. I totally understand if you can’t, or don’t feel like it! I hope you’re safe and healthy, and everything is going well. Thank you!

From Eden (Zuko x Reader)

Word Count: 1,776 (FUHREEDOM MOTHERFUCKERS 🎆🦅🦅🦅 🎆 )

Author’s Note: Ok this request is P E R F E C T. I don’t think I need to tell anyone I love the psychology of this show, but I love the psychology of this show - especially with Zuko and his relationship with himself and others. And this episode??? Ohhhhhh I have some THINGS. TO. SAY. about this episode. I have been in this boy’s place and I feel 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 him 👏🏻 he 👏🏻 deserves 👏🏻 better 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. I went in a sliiiiiiightly different direction, but I didn’t drastically change it (it turned out cute I think). Also, I named this “From Eden” because as I was writing it reminded me of the Hozier song. I’m such a sucker for a Broken Babe™, especially when the babe in question has a lot of personal growth and learns to love because of it. Thank you so much for this, anon, you’re absolutely gorgeous and I hope you’re keeping safe and healthy as well ❤ 

~ Muerta 

(Also, if you’d like to request something, I have a list of prompts tagged! Feel free to ask for anything from fics to headcanons to imagines - I’m also open to new character suggestions!) 

“Hey.”

Zuko sat on the porch of his family’s old vacation home, his mind miles away. Your greeting made him snap his head towards you, glowering down at where you stood at the base of the front steps. You crossed your arms, responding to his gaze with a defiant glare. 

“What do you want?” he growled. 

“To have normal friends,” you spat in reply. “Seems I’m stuck with you instead.” 

A few hours ago, Zuko almost made a crater in the beach from the campfire you, his sister Azula, and your friends Mai and Ty Lee had started a screaming match around. Insults were flung, tears were shed, and skeletons were evicted from closets, all resulting in your realization that maybe political survival wasn’t worth the dysfunction of constantly being surrounded by a sociopath and her cronies. Pretending to have a super fun sleepover with them back at the guest house was proving to be too much for your fragile sense of self-containment, and you weren’t quite friendly enough with your newfound death wish to tell Azula how you really felt about her, so you went where you knew it would be quiet. You didn’t expect to find Zuko and his anger issues there a second time, but he honestly didn’t scare you - you’d take his obvious rage over Azula’s subtle calculations any day. 

“I don’t know why you’re complaining,” Zuko jeered. “You’re just as emotionally fucked as the rest of them.” 

“Ty Lee’s got herself pretty much under control, despite her gullibility,” you answered cooly. “Also, if you really wanna talk about emotionally fucked, I’m not the one who almost roasted my ex-girlfriend alive earlier.” 

Zuko furrowed his brow at you, leaning forward as if to challenge you. You stayed exactly as you were, regarding him with a hard, unimpressed expression that revealed just how little he intimidated you. You couldn’t bend and weren’t a trained fighter - you knew he knew this, and that he wouldn’t actually attack you, despite how convincing he tried to make his empty threat appear. After a long, intense moment of wrinkled foreheads and competitive frowning, he backed off with a sigh, leaning back against the pillar behind him. 

“So, what, you want to come and make peace? Talk it out or something?” 

You shook your head, climbing the steps and lowering yourself onto the second highest; just below him, with a few feet between you as a courtesy. 

“The last thing I want to do is talk about that dumpster fire on the beach,” you told him. “I just needed some time alone. But, since I found you, I guess it’s a good time to ask if you’re okay.”  

Zuko looked you up and down, a confused and partially concerned look on his face. You half expected him to raise the back of his hand to your forehead to check for fever. 

“What do you care if I’m okay or not?” he asked bitterly. “We’re not friends.” 

“Zuko, I’ve known you since I was a toddler,” you said. “I’d say we’re friends. It’s not like anyone else really is.” 

“Mai is my girlfriend,” Zuko snapped at you. “She’s the best friend I have!” 

“Mai dumped you for being a possessive asshole,” you deadpanned, “then she let her best friend convince you to commit arson. Friends don’t let their friends’ sisters manipulate them into felonies.” 

Zuko huffed, slumping back defeatedly. 

“You can’t act like Azula’s never made you do anything you didn’t want to,” he grumbled. 

“I don’t,” you replied shortly. “I’ve just stopped caring about making her like me, since she really doesn’t like anyone. She doesn't get under my skin like she used to when we were kids.” 

You noticed Zuko’s lips curl upwards into the ghost of a smile. You mirrored him, leaning your arms atop your upright knees. 

“What?” you asked. 

Zuko chuckled faintly, shaking his head. 

“Nothing,” he responded. “You just… Do you remember when you were eight, and Azula teased Ty Lee about being too slow climbing the trees in our courtyard?” 

Your eyes widened in realization, your mouth parting into a wide smile as you let out a gasp of hysterical laughter. 

“Oh, that was awful!” you cried, though the memory only brought more fits of giggles to your gut. “I was such a little brat!” 

Zuko was laughing with you too now, arms wrapped over his stomach as he tried to speak between breaths. 

“It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!” he exclaimed. “Watching her fall out of the tree like that, the shock on her face, and then I caught you with the knife and saw where you cut the branch... She deserved it. You should give her a taste of her own medicine like that more often.” 

You blushed, looking away from him as your laughter died down. 

“Now she could kill me if she wanted,” you said. “I try not to say or do anything around her if I can help it.” 

“... Is that why you’ve been so quiet since then?” 

You nodded. 

“She beat me up when she found out what I did,” you explained. 

You stood, pulling down the waist of your sarong to reveal the burn scar on your right hip. Zuko’s eyes burst with shock at first, wondering exactly why you’d be disrobing in front of him, his expression softening when he saw the mark Azula left. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Most brothers feel like they should protect their little sisters. I always felt like I should’ve protected all of you from her.” 

“You did,” you assured him. You sat back down beside him, closer this time, so that your hips almost touched. “I remember you jumped in front of her once when she threatened us. And that time…” 

Your voice faded, the memory almost bringing tears to your eyes. You couldn’t figure out why. 

“You hid from her,” Zuko finished your thought. 

You nodded. 

“You let me hide in your room,” you recalled. “Remember? Azula punched me. I ran to the first quiet place I could find and accidentally went to your room.” 

Zuko hummed. 

“You were crying,” he added, “and your eye was all red and swollen.” 

“You held me.” 

Zuko’s eyes fixed on you. He didn’t say anything, though he remembered; you burst through his half open door, sniffling, tears and spittle running down your cheeks and chin. It was the first time Azula had actually, physically hurt you, and you were terrified and confused. He asked if you were okay, and you shook your head. Being so young, the only thing he could think to do was hug you, since that’s what his mother did to make him feel better, and you clung to him, sobbing into his shirt and using his much bigger body for protection. After that day, he let you use his bedroom as a hiding place whenever Azula got to be too much - until she found out about it and started teasing you about wedding dresses and baby names. 

“We were friends,” you breathed. “I wish we still were.” 

There was a long silence in which the two of you stared out at the horizon, down the steep hill leading to the vacation house and into the ocean. The moon hung in a small sliver, barely flickering across the calm waters that rocked below; you could hear the gentle rush of waves as they crawled over the sand and shrunk back into themselves, creating a calming din that echoed up to where you sat. 

“... I still remember your favorite game to play with me,” Zuko said into the warm air between you. “Those times you hid in my room. You used to pretend to be a Kyoshi warrior. My mom gave you one of her old fans and we’d jump on and off my bed, trying to catch each other.” 

You grinned. 

“I would wrap myself around your legs to keep you from walking,” you recalled. 

Zuko laughed. 

“I loved that,” he admitted. “It used to make me laugh so hard when we were kids.” 

He looked over to you, and you turned to face him as well. The anger in his eyes was gone completely, in its place a warm, steady sadness that made you ache. 

“I miss you,” he whispered. 

You reached cautiously for his hand, relieved when he slid his fingers between yours and gripped your palm tightly. 

“I miss you, too,” you replied. “I’m sorry I let Azula drive me away from you.” 

Zuko wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tender embrace. Your hands latched together on either side of his back, gripping into his shirt a little bit as you buried your face in his shoulder. He felt and smelled the same as he did when you were little; hard like the walls of a sturdy house and sweet like the last embers in a fireplace.

You didn’t know how long you held each other, but when you broke apart, you sat together for ages, existing in silence on the steps of his childhood house and beside one another. You felt small again, but in the best way - you felt like the girl who was brave enough to cut through the branches of a maple tree so your tormenter would fall out of them. 

“I want to run away,” you blurted. “I could be someone totally different if I weren’t stuck here.” 

“If you do, I’ll go with you,” Zuko said. “We can be different people together.” 

You grinned, leaning your shoulder against his. 

“We could move to Kyoshi Island,” you suggested. “I’m too old to start warrior training now, but we could start a business. Open an inn or something.” 

Zuko chuckled at the thought. 

“I’ll call myself Lee,” he mused, “and you can go by Izumi.” 

“Maybe we could be married. And we could adopt orphan children and cats.” 

“Just cats. You can’t emotionally destroy a cat like you can with a kid.” 

You glanced over at him, noticing the hard gleam in his eye. You wrapped your arms around his bicep, holding him close to you. 

“You’re not your father, Zuko,” you whispered. “You don’t want to be.” 

Zuko nodded. He reached for one of your hands, curling his own around it. 

“... I feel like I am going to leave,” he said, “at some point. When I do… will you stay? So that I have at least one friendly face to come home to someday?” 

You nodded, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“I will,” you promised. “And when you do, I’ll give you Azula’s severed head as a homecoming present.” 

Zuko laughed at that. 

{ epilogue }

[ushiwakaout]

Lead Singer! Tamaki Amajiki with tattoo artist & lead guitarist S/O || MHA

Genre: Rock Star AU || Fluff || Self-Indulgent angst ||

⚠️ Warnings: Drug Use || Nsfw || Orgy || Mommy kink? ||

Words: 2k+

A/N: very self indulgent bc i love rockstar aus i’ve never seen one of tamaki so here it is! 

Gender Neutral Reader

Dude, don’t even get me started

HE SINGS LIKE JESSE THE GUY WHO SING SWEATHER WEATHER AND DADDY ISSUES

Can you imagine his singing devils advocate, holy shit he’d look so good MA’AM PLEASE

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT HE WOULDN’T DRESS LIKE HARRY STYLES 

He’s still shy and still has stage fright the first few times but your his lead guitar player (dated before the band was together)

Mirio is on the drums while Nejire is the bass player

It’s so hard not to pounce on him once he gets into his music like wow 

ESPECIALLY IF HE SUNG DEVILS ADVOCATE

You guys wear a matching matte black rings and people assume you’re married, y’all never say no so you’re gonna let people assume bc you’re fine with it.

You used to be a tattoo artist so many tattoos Tamaki has or will have, it’s done by you, he won’t want 

After every set he’ll either kiss you or your hand, it just depends if you go straight into the next set or not

He sings pretty boy dedicated to you bc if it where all to end, he’d be okay if it was by your side

The fans either ship you or they don’t 

It’s a little hard thinking that people don’t think you’re a good match but Tamaki always says that you’re his angel and he’d never fall in love with anyone else bc you’re his soulmate 

Some fans ship him with mirio and they both think its funny bc they’ve been best friends since they where kids so they don’t have a problem

But Tamaki does not, DOES NOT like it when they ship him with Nejire. Not that he doesn’t like her bc she, along with mirio, got him out of his comfort zone a lot (in a good way). 

He sees the way you’re smile fades when you see a post about their ship, people saying that they look good and all. It’s gotten to a point of wanting to break up with Tamaki just to make a handfull of fans happy

You’d do anything for his music to rise up the ranks, even if it meant losing your relationship

You’ve gone to mirio sobbing about this, it kinda hurt Tamaki that you didn’t go to him but you just couldn’t face him without the reminder of those stupid post

There was one day where a post said “look at the way he looks at her, he looks at her like he’s in love with her.” You looked at the picture for a long time and didn’t even realize the water works

You didn’t really mention it to anybody but when tamaki sang pretty boy, everyone could tell that it had a different feel to it

the set was over and before tamaki could look at you, you had already gone off the stage and ran towards the back locking yourself into the bathroom and kinda just letting it all out

god you hated this feeling, the ache in your chest 

Tamaki basically broke into the bathroom and froze when he saw you crying. He was so worry and so angry at the same time.

You both ended up crying on the bathroom floor together proclaiming your love for each other in such a snotty mess that it ended in laughter.

After that incident there was a long thread tweet of Tamaki explaining politely why he doesn’t like when people ship him with someone else other than his s/o or mirio (bc you don’t mind it either) people could tell that he was angry through the tweet and it was a lil scary bc tamaki DOES NOT GET ANGRY 

anygays- angst is over, sorry very self-indulgent. 

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS MAN DOESN’T SMOKE DUE TO ANXIETY 

You guys have 21+ concerts bc it’s those type of concerts where u can smoke weed legally and drink

SHOT GUN SMOKE WITH TAMAKI HOT HOT HOT

Tamaki’s a lil high so he does it with mirio too and u end up doing it with nejire (your relationship def gets a lot better after the whole shipping situation bc yall talk about it and nejire ends up outing herself to you guys as a lesbian)

so if you’re a girl, Tamaki will def. tell her to watch herself when it comes to his girl but if you’re a dude- you guys are like oh... cool, good for you.

MMM  tourbus sex

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT AS A BAND YALL DIDN’T DO SOMETHING TOGETHER

you don’t Nejire anywhere near Tamaki tho, def a small cat fight while it happens 

TAMAKI GOT REALLY JELOUS WHEN MIRIO KISSED YOU OH MAN

Tamaki def fucked you several times while Mirio was listening bc TAMAKI WANTS HIM TOO KNOW WHO YOU BELONG TOO (cannon amajiki is a bottom and probably a pillow prince but fannon tamaki is a switch but in my head in this au TAMAKI IS A HARDCORE TOP)

Several occasions where you have to sit down during concerts bc tamaki ruined you minutes beforehand

FOR A FUCKING FACT yall do it in the dressing room and he just cums inside you and slips you’re underwear back on minutes before set AND U HAVE NO TIME TO CLEAN YOURSELF SO YOU’RE LIKE FUCK

mmm i love me some dom tamaki

Okay lets get to award shows

B E S T D R E S S E D C O U P L E A W A R D 

its something like this:  female / male

if y’all win something tamaki will NOT speak, way too many people are looking at him at the moment and he almost died during the pictures. 

“some many flashing cameras”

holds your hand tighter and y’all ask to get escorted out 

If y’all live together like only you and him, you’re house def is the definition of dark decor

if you guys every do get married, you aren’t getting a live band, everyone thought you did but it turns out it’s you guys in wedding attire- they love it.

Also very small wedding, somehow able to hide it from the pap and its like 50 people or so, mostly friends and like 1/3 family

100% LIKE PEWDIEPIES WEDDING. very very private but very nature/dark decor 

do y’all get wedding tattoos. yes. but not matching, not really.

do y’all tattoo each-other at the wedding... yes.

on your ring finger you have a sun and he has the moon.

you are the light that guides his threw the darkness  and he is your sun, always lighting up your life you know bc the sun lights up the moon

y’all just love eachother sorry

you don’t break up and y’all don’t expect to

BABIES Fem version

do you still play while pregnant yes

are people surprised, yell yeah

you gotta sit down tho bc your feet are killing you 

around the 6 to 9 month mark, the band goes on a break tamaki ends up going solo for a bit during the break and he makes you sing with him AND WOW do you get a larger fanbase bc of it. yes

angelic voice of a pregnant mother

it made tamaki horny, like how the fuck are are you so fucking great at fucking everything please let me fuck you god please

will whine, WILL CALL YOU MOMMY god yes

BABIES Male version.

Yall really wanted to adopt w one baby but the baby you liked had a twin so youre like HOW CAN U TAKE ONE AND NOT THE OTHER

they are twins but ones a boy and one is a girl

god you love them with all your heart

BABIES IN GENERAL (fem version yall have twins too, boy and girl)

they grow up to be band geeks, yall love it but your boy learns piano and the girl ends up playing the guitar (def not the outcome you guys thought it would be but you really dont care)

Let set names Mizuki for a girl, Haru for a boy. (legit beautiful moon and the sun)

Mizuki is very alternative meets fairy academia/ loves plants. probably a baby witch: has the same attitude as Tamaki

Haru is Dark Academia meets city pop / loves record, old gadgets and reading books: very much more like their other parent 

If y’all ever retire to just making music at home the kids are def. gonna take the band name and just put “The new gen” after it. You guys make fun of them for being unoriginal and they get pouty 

but they had you guys crying the first time they got a gig. they both sing, make music like billie and finneas and y’all just so proud. 

when you guys start getting older they will take you to award shows as their date to flex the fact that they are gen celebs who actually made something off of their parent success unlike some people

y’all just flex you’re kid bc they doing so well

just for shits and giggles (kids are like 22 at this point, you guys are like 46) :

Haru would probably get a girl pregnant during a one night stand and end up in a baby daddy situation

Mizuki probably steals Tamakis weeb and smokes it w lavander, you catch her and you’re like.... is it good? mother/father daughter smoke sesh

Haru is like “where’s mom, i need her to run by some notes- are you guys smoking? I’m telling dad.”

“It’s not like you’re dad doesn’t smoke either.” 

Haru and Mizuki are like “WHAT?! SINCE WHEN?!” 

“Since always... how’d you think he got over his stage fright? It’s not like i could go down on you’re dad every time before a concert to lift his nerves.”

Fake gagging from the two kids. 

You guys a def the parents who kinda don’t care about your image but you don’t let your kids go off easy

They are good kids who kept good grades and never got caught while doing trouble- so they are well respected and have liberty to do what they like.

There ends up being an article about your family and the cover is you guys- all of you with your nails painted and eyemakeup

very very controversial interview with strict and non liberals calling you guys bad parents and such

and you guys also talked about the topic about how you cared for your children. explaining that you guys stopped smoking, stopped drinking, kept a healty diet until they where 15. once they became 18 it was a very open enviroment, letting your kids grow the way they want and not suffocating them. not shoving down their beliefs and likes- they grew up the way they wanted to with the care of their parents.

parents kinda hate you ngl, yall too great sksksksk

yall also play the game where they ask you questions and if you don’t answer you have to take a shot

Mizuki: “Oh ew, please don’t answer this question... Have you ever had- *clears throat* have you guys ever had sex while we where in the house

Tamaki gets all red and shoves a shot down your throat and now you don’t get to answer “But I wanted to answer!” Haru is cringing hard and he takes a shot himself “You guys are gross”

Haru asks a question and just HATES IT “Oh god... Okay- Only because I wanna know I’m asking parent number 2 (you’re parent #2) Is the rumor of you guys doing the dirty with your band true. Did you guys have an orgy.”

You start to laugh your ass off but Mizuki and Tamaki are looking at eachother bc they cant believe they’ve done this Haru def is out of his shy bubble and now Mizuki has it

“You want a shot papa?” She asked tamaki, he just nodds and she fills it to the brim, “I think thats enough.” But before he’s able to reach for it, She shoots it down and put another one full for him

“Oh yeah, that’s true. Kinda i guess, it wasn’t really an orgy- It was more like two couples doing it in the same room while doing it but you’re uncle mirio did kiss me.”

Kids: Forever gagging

Tamaki: Forever blushing

You: Ah sweet memories :)

Request are open! You can request anyone from My Hero Academia (low key wont write for tsu or uraraka. Will not write for mineta), Haikyuu, Attack on Titan or Balance Unlimited!

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️

[thiswasinevitableid]

Could you do #28 indruck? Or maybe OT4?

#28 was: Mermified. I went with Indruck. Hope you like it!

The rocks on the window start the night he moves in.

He writes it off as an anomaly, or perhaps kids from the town deciding to toy with the new resident.

After three nights in a row, he’s beginning to understand why this house was such a bargain. Yes, it’s a lovely houseboat for one on the Pacific coast, offset from much of the neighborhood for privacy. But every night, small rocks and shells will hit your window, disrupting your already tenuous sleep schedule.

It can’t be a human, because his bedroom faces the ocean, and he’d hear or see a boat or paddleboard or whatever else they used to get there. For awhile he assumes it might be a ghost; his last apartment was actually haunted by a miner who died from the Spanish Flu. They got along rather well, as he didn’t manifest often and Indrid was always careful to leave him offerings or tokens of respect on days like his deathaversary. 

But after scoping the house top to bottom, using a Oujia Board, and just politely asking if there was anyone there who needed to talk to him, he’s disregarded that possibility. 

And tonight, he’s made the mistake of sleeping with the window open, meaning the chunk of bull kelp hit’s him square in the face.

“Oh for goodness sake.” He sits up, sticking his head out the window to glare at the waves.

The waves glare back.  Or, more accurately, a face sticking out of the waves does. 

“Do you mind?”

“Yeah, I mind a whole fuckin’ lot.” The man swims right to the side of the house, locomotion too smooth for there to be legs beneath the water, “I mind because this whole area is under my protection, and this big fuckin house is gonna fuck up this cove.”

He knew there were merpeople along this coast, he just wasn’t expecting to see one up close. Or for it to be so grumpy.

“I’ll have you know I asked for multiple modifications to this house before I moved in. It is designed to have almost zero impact on the marine environment.”

“Uh huh, sure.”  The merman crosses his arms, “you ain’t just sayin’ that to get rid of me.” A flash of yellow light under the water. 

“Well, technically, I am. I would prefer to not have you hurling things at my window every night because you think my leaving is the only way for your patch of ocean to be safe. A strategy, I take it, that worked on my predecessors.”

“Yep. Most left after a couple of days.”

“Most probably had more places they could go. I do not.”

“Ain’t my problem. Never shoulda let them start buildin’ here in the first place; wrecks havoc on the forest.” He glances towards open water, tips of giant kelp just visible in the moonlight. He sounds tired. 

“How about this: you keep an eye on this cove, and if you notice any issues directly caused by my home, I will leave. But if not, you stop throwing things at my window.”

“Fine.” The merman turns, makes to dive under the water, then spins around, “but if I catch you tryin’ anythin’ funny, next time I’m throwin’ a shark through the window.”

The next night brings welcome silence at his window. The day after, however….

“What are you doin’ here, anyway?”

“Good afternoon to you as well.” Indrid doesn’t look up from his drawing; a benefit of being born with odd, future seeing abilities is that he isn’t startled by the merman’s appearance (said abilities don’t function well when he’s sleep deprived, which is why he didn’t see the merman’s initial appearance coming). 

“I mean, y’all can build houses wherever you want up on land. Why live on the water?”

“Because I find it peaceful. I have limited luck living in cities, and have grown used to isolation.”

“Don’t humans have to have jobs? You ain’t left here except once to get food.”

“Spying is impolite.”

“So is livin’ on someone else's turf without askin!” The merman raises out of the water, and Indrid finally gets a good look at him. He has dark hair, mismatched eyes and, just visible, a row of fins like those of a leafy sea dragon dotting his lower back. Ironically, his build is one Indrid finds attractive, a mix of muscle and fat that undoubtedly would feel nice to hold. Were it not for the complication of the tail.

“I am an artist. I draw for a living, hence my ability to live out here. And nobody told me there was a merman living around here, so I did not have the option of speaking to you ahead of time.”

There’s a huff of annoyance, and he barely moves his drawing out of the way of the splash as the merman disappears. 

Three days later, he’s once again sitting on the back deck when he hears, “You ain’t seen an injured seal around, have you?”

“No.” He looks up, finds the merman looking thoughtful as he scans the waves and shoreline, “ah, what does it look like? What color is it?”

“Smallish, speckled grey. Got caught in a net and all torn up gettin loose, but I can’t find it.”

“I will keep an eye out. Should I signal you if I see it?”

“Hmmm….yeah, that should work. Maybe hang somethin’ bright' on that line?” He points to the clothes line. 

Indrid closes his eyes, focuses on the futures.

The merman sniffs, intrigued, “somethin smells good.”

“It’s my lunch. It ended up not quite being what I wanted, you are welcome to try some.” 

The merman grabs the take-out bowl of soup, sipping from it gingerly. His face lights up, and then he gulps the remainder down.

“Damn, that was good.”

“It’s french onion soup. I can bring you more in the future if you’d like. Also, odds are good you’ll find the seal you seek on the beach about a mile that way.”

The merman blinks, “Shit, really? Thanks man.”

“You are welcome.”

The merman hesitates, a flash of white, barely visible in the daylight, zips under water, “Uh, name’s Duck by the way.”

Indrid smiles, “Indrid. Good luck with your search, Duck.”

Duck smiles, bright and friendly as the beach on a hot day, “Thanks.”

--------------------------------------------

Indrid awakens with a cry of alarm. It’s only a nightmare, not even a bad vision, and yet he’s so rattled sleep becomes an unreachable goal. Hoping the night air and lapping waves might help, he drags a blanket onto the back deck, laying down with his back to the water. The nightmare pursues him still, setting off a dozen related memories and fears in his mind until he’s shuddering, trying not to cry. 

A cool hand touches his hair and he freezes for a moment before another gasp pushes from his chest, the images flooding his system too much to ignore. The hand continues down his back a ways, then starts at his head once again. 

“Why?” He says, not even sure who he’s asking it of.

“Helps the seal and otter pups when they get upset. Thought it might help you too.” Duck replies, “I was doin’ a night round and heard you yell. Came to make sure you were okay.”

He wants to say thank you, but the words are weighed down by the realization of how long it’s been since anyone did such a thing. 

“You...pet the pups? Doesn’t, doesn’t that make it difficult if they are eaten by something?”

“A little. Sharks got as much right to live as they do, but still, sometimes they need comfortin if their parents are out huntin. Not my job to protect ‘em from predators. I’m just the keeper of the forest. Means I look out for the animals, the plants. Nature does most of the work for me; lot of my job boils down to makin sure humans don’t fuck everything up.”

“It is a habit we seem to have.”

A pause, Duck’s fingers playing gently with his hair, “Not all of you.”

Indrid rolls over and Duck rests his arms on the deck, soft blue flashes coming off his tail. 

“Will you tell me more about what you do?”

“Sure.”

Duck talks and Indrid listens until finally his eyes droop closed. He wakes up hours later, a bit chilly but with the blanket drawn around him. He wonders how he avoided falling into the water in his sleep. Until there’s a soft splash as his nighttime gaurdian slips back into the waves.

---------------------------------------------------

“Ta dah! No, wait, stay over here. That’s a good boy.” Duck proudly circles the large ray he’s herded near Indrid’s boat as Indrid sits down to draw. Over the last few weeks, he’s brought the human more and more items to include in his illustrations, after Indrid mentioned he was working on a pictures for a book about marine life. 

It started with brightly colored shells or seaglass left on his deck, then Duck would ask for mason jars or bowls to help place a fish safely where Indrid could sketch it. Lately, he’s taken to shepherding larger sea life where Indrid can see it; seals, otters, rays, even a shark. It’s almost as if he’s showing off, and Indrid notices that his tail flickers bright green whenever Indrid flaps his hands with excitement or thanks him for his help. 

Duck visits him every day, even on days when there is no drawing to be done. They talk, or eat together, and Indrid has even hung a hammock out so they can talk well into the night without him accidentally rolling off the deck or Duck having to watch over him until he wakes. Duck can only be out of the water a short time, but he’ll join Indrid on the deck to sun himself, tail bright green and leafy at the “V” that marks the tip of it. When Indrid asks about the lights, Duck explains that they’re tied to his emotions, something to help merpeople signal to each other even in the darkness or murkiness of the ocean. 

Indrid buys a kayak, paddles out into open ocean with Duck as his guide, the merman eagerly showing him his favorite places, introducing him to wildlife, and generally mooning over him whenever he thinks Indrid isn’t looking. 

The mooning is mutual, of course. Duck is funny and kind, easy going now that he knows Indrid is not a threat to his beloved kelp forest. He’s also painfully handsome in Indrid’s eyes, but the futures show scant chances for Indrid to admit this fact without torpedoing the relationship. 

Their laying side by side on the deck tonight, dusk creeping across the sky. In the fading light, he notices Duck’s fins flashing between white and green.

“Are you alright, Duck? You’ve been rather quiet tonight.”

“Uh, um, yeah? Fuck. Uh, you remember me tellin’ you about my friend Aubrey?”

“The one dating the human surfer girl?”

“Yep. They, uh, Aubrey said they finally worked up to kissin. I never heard of mer kissin’ a human and likin’ it before, usually we do it on dares when we’re young and foolish.”

“You seem to be going somewhere with this.” Indrid rolls over, smirking at the future he sees. 

“No, uh, fuch, uh, I mean, would, would you ever wanna try it?”

“With any merperson, or just you?”

“Me.” Duck says softly.

Indrid leans in, cups the back of his head to draw him into a kiss, salt and sun mingling on his lips as Duck moans. Sun-warmed skin caresses his back as Duck pulls him closer, and a cool, smooth tail hooks over his ankles. 

“Indrid, I, I really, really like you.” Duck whispers, kissing a line along his cheek.

“I really, really like you as well, Duck.” Indrid runs a hand along his side, watches his tail light up bright blue at the touch.

“Can, can we try bein’ together? Like Dani and Aubrey are?”

“Of course.” Indrid grins, then gives a muffled laugh as Duck kisses him once more, rolling atop him, wiggling happily as the kiss deepens, Indrid teasing his fingers along his fins to make him whine. 

Then the mer gasps, dropping into the water and coming back up panting.

“Shit, that was close.”

“You were out too long?” Indrid shifts to his stomach

“Yep. Can’t blame me for gettin’ distracted, and honestly I’d fuckin pass out if that’s what it took to kiss you again.”

Indrid bends down, kissing him softly, “no need for such drastic measures yet. But I agree it would be nice to have, ah, dalliances that can last a bit longer. I’m sure we can think of something.”

They try filling the bathtub with seawater, but can’t get Duck to it. Indrid opts to swim, but he’s not a strong swimmer, and any beaches where they could be half in and half out of the water are either too well-traveled or made out of sharp rocks that hurt them both. 

They have some success when Indrid lays on his side, facing the water, to touch himself, moaning Ducks name and telling him just what he’ll do to him once he’s able as Duck frantically kisses him, tail flashing blue and purple. 

But after night after night of longing looks, too-short embraces, and kisses at odd angles, he decides enough is enough. 

------------------------------------

“Why have you come, young man?”

“I wish to make a deal. There’s something I need you to enchant.”

The man grins, cat-like and hungry, “Very well. But it is going to cost you.”

--------------------------------------

Duck circles the patch of kelp he’s checking for the tenth time. He can’t focus, should just go home and rest, but he needs to keep occupied so he stops worrying about the note he found on the deck two days ago.

Duck, 

Have a problem that needs solving. May be gone several days. Don’t worry, it will be alright.

Love, Indrid.

In spite of the reassurance in the letter, he’s terrified that Indrid might be hurt. Might have left him entirely. 

An unfamiliar shape flits in the corner of his vision, and he turns.

“Holy fuck.”

“Good afternoon to you too.” Indrid grins, swimming to him a bit gracelessly with mottled black and red tail. The red and black fan of fin on his lower back flashes bright green for a moment. 

“Indrid.” Duck says with awe, not quite believing his eyes even as his tail curls around Indrid’s own.

“Indeed. I, ah, found someone who would help me. Help us.”

“Are you, uh, stuck like this?”

He shakes his head, “No, I have a charm” he holds up his wrist to reveal a small cord, “I can go back to being human as needed. But I, ah, I can no longer see the future. I...that was the trade for this.”

“You gave that up just for me?” Duck cups his cheeks, brushes their noses together.

Indrid grins, “Yes. After all, whatever the futures may hold, whatever I can no longer see coming, does not matter half as much as the future I’m holding right now.”

[edengarden]

Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)

I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.

Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.

Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Slytherpuff. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy,  snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot. I love going out and drink alcohol with my friends(and sometimes somoke too), the drunken me can be a real asshole, but also hugs out of the blue, I get softer. Oh, and I curse fucking much, I have a disgustingly flithy mouth, bc of my rather innocent appearance and behavior ppl are suprised how much is... cruse.

Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila

Music taste: Oh man, MIXED. I listen to literally everything except techno, it depends on my mood honestly. But if I had to say something, I think indie, alternative rock, electronic and psychedelic songs are the closest to me, but I've grown to listen more and more rap. Most of the songs are depressive as fuck, I mean I can be at my happiest, but I'd still listen some dark shit. But still, I enjoy pop(2000s pop at parties FUCK YEAH), jazz. Also, some occassions all my ears and mind need is some good ol' classical music. Some faves: Tame Impala, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack Stauber, Fink and some Hungarian bands that no one knows unfortunately. :(

Sorry if I was too long and more sorry if I've already requested before(my brain just rots lol), then just ignore me, hehe~♡

Did you,,, did you just copy paste like 3/4 of who I am

Man when I was reading your persona I was going “RinRinRinRinRinRin-“ but I decided against it UwU

ALL IN ALL you honestly sound like my type of person?? Like deadass I’d wanna befriend you. Fuck them small talks tell me what you think of the expansion of the universe and let’s talk about what if drugs are illegal bc they make us perceive true reality-

I’m going to match you up with... Shindo!

This one is a Battle of Wits, I swear. You didn’t trust him a single bit when the two of you first met, no one even thought you’d ever become friends. Shindo could practically see the gears turning in your head and quite frankly he was impressed?? You’re a highly intelligent individual who was able to keep your guard up and seclude yourself from others while not appearing TOO unapproachable? Boy was whipped and he didn’t even realize it. While others thought you were sort of cold and pragmatic, he thought you were the most well-balanced human in the world.

You guys 100% had an enemies to lovers thing going on, but it was slightly different. YOU started off completely uninterested in him, but while he made you think the feeling was mutual, I think Shindo found himself gravitating towards you. You can bet he secretly celebrated every little victory and step forward he made with you. Boy did NOT let up.

I seriously think he’s entertaining enough for you to keep interest in him. Shindo is as two-faced as you are (if not more), and he WILL change his behaviour within a second to keep your interest (somehow no one noticed his habit of doing that when he was crushing on you?? SUSPICIOUS). Also not a big fan of small talk; if he’s interested in you, he wants to know how you tick. He wants to know what you enjoy, what you like and what you dislike. And when you tell him while trying to still keep an emotional distance from him, he takes it as a challenge. No, he doesn’t think your relationship is a game, but he does think it’s highly entertaining and interesting.

When you start softening up to him, he won’t even grow bored. He’s worked so hard to get close to you and it finally pays off and he’s so happy??

But he won’t ever initiate PDA, just because he too has an image to uphold lmao if others don’t personally know you they’d never know y’all are falling for each other.

Songs!!

- One of My Turns, Pink Floyd (“don’t look so frightened this is just a passing phase one of my bad days” just hits different for the two of you?? I’m not saying your relationship is toxic bc it really isn’t but the VIBE is there)

- Do I Wanna Know?, Arctic Monkeys

- Dollar Days, David Bowie

- You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi

[doritopaw101]

Arc1, book 2: Chapter: 11

It had been a moon since the last gathering but things seemed..okay for the most part.

Cloudkit, Bearkit, Violetkit, and Flamekit were in Shadowclan for the time being. His nerves were going crazy, Bluestar honestly had to make sure he didn't try to storm over there. It made him even more determined to take care of his remaining kits, easy to keep Shrikekit and Sunnykit pleased and just mostly making sure Fuzzypelt got to see his grandkits, mainly Rosekit and not giving to shits what Robinwing and Chestnutclaw thought, it seemed to apply to Cherrycloud's litter as well.

He honestly stuck around Tiger-roar and Nightshade because he didn't want them to suspect anything. It was less about his own safety and more about what would happen to his kits, didn't help when Raveneye was avoiding him most of the time, only really being around him at night. He wanted to find hard evidence to bring to Bluestar but he only had his word against Tiger-roar and Nightshade's. He tried to bring it up to Bluestar but her glare was enough to know that wouldn't work, she almost kicked him out of the den when their kits were sleeping.

To give them credit, they covered their tracks very well where it would only be word vs word.

Since Redtail's death, Sandstorm has been running herself ragged. Working hard with hunting and training Marigoldpaw harshly, Icefire could tell she wasn't taking breaks. Dustpelt isn't any better, Icefire knew him and Redtail were close, he also saw the bruises Pouncepaw got from training. Honestly he dragged them away and to camp more often than not to save their apprentices from passing out before they made it back to camp.

He took times to help train with all the other apprentices at this point since his own had been chasing rabbits til they returned. It was hilarious to fight with Fogtail and not get in trouble for it.

Marshstar's idea did work, they found the rouges and sent them backing into Twolegplace.

As much as he trued not to he drifted back to his conversation with Nettlemist yesterday:

-Flashback-

Icefire had just finished hunting with a newly named Cinderfreeze and Brackenfur. They wanted to get started early on the new-leaf hunting. Took him a few tries but he caught his kits favorite, Magpie.

"I'm surprised you wanted to name yourself after me"

"Some cats said it was fitting for me, Harekit liked it" Cinderfreeze replied "I guess you rubbed off on me but you also helped me be a warrior Icefire, you trained me and convinced me to train under Deadfoot so I could still be useful to my clan"

"You were always gonna be useful Cinderfreeze" Brackenfur mewed, rubbing himself against his adopted sibling.

"You say that but..." Cinderfreeze trailed off and Icefire knew what they meant.

"I say screw the mouse-brains" Icefire purred

Cinderfreeze and Brackenfang chuckled through the prey. The chuckling stopped when they heard small sobs. Icefire dropped his prey and went to check it out.

"Head back to camp" he mewed

"But Icefire-" Icefire cut Brackenfur off

"I'll be fine, I'll tell you two later but go"

He had jumped on a log, looking around. He then lowered himself then looked inside the log to see Nettlemist crying. The nursery tom had a paw over his eyes and his fluffy dark gray tail over his head.

"Nettlemist?"

The pointed gray tom looked up and screeched when he saw Icefire.

"W..what are you doing here?" Nettlemist said, trying to wipe his tears with his paw

"I could say the same thing with you crying in a log"

Nettlemist padded out of the log, his eyes puffy and red from crying. "Don't worry about it"

Icefire jumped from the log "You're my friend Nettlemist and I care deeply about you, of course I'll worry"

"I'm fine" the pointed tom snapped

"The more you say it the more I don't believe you" Icefire retorted, he lifted Nettlemist's chin with his paw "What's wrong Nettlemist?"

Nettlemist sat down with a thump, he covered his leg stump with his tail.

"Nettle, please" Icefire pleaded

Tears seemed to form in Nettlemist's blue eyes. "I feel useless" he whispered

Icefire looked shocked "How?"

"Icefire you know I'm not a good fighter or hunter, I'm very useless in a fight and I usually depend on others for food" Nettlemist looked away "I've always been interested in nursery life but after my injury, I felt like I had to be a nursery tom to be useful"

"You were always going to be useful to Thunderclan"

Nettlemist whipped his head around to face him "Don't say that fox-dung Icefire you know just as well that Thunderclan would pile all the disabled cats and let us rot if they could" tears ran down his face "I'm the son of two great and respected warriors and over-seers, I know others say I'm a disgrace to what they worked for"

Icefire knew Nettlemist spoke truth.

"They only reason the clan doesn't treat Frostbite and Featherears worse is because of Bluestar and don't get me started on what I heard Robinwing said about Cinderfreeze"

Icefire couldn't respond to that, he felt all the comments about his issues and his outsider blood. He did his best to bury his feelings but he was starting to feel them spilling out.

'Don't cry Don't cry you weak son of a bitch' he yelled at himself. He felt a flashback of training and Nightshade scolding him for crying when he hurt his paw during training. Even now he was taking her advise "Crying is for the weak" the dark molly had said "Warriors know how to hold their pain"

He held Nettlemist close, letting the other tom cry and rant.

-Flashback ends-

Icefire hated every time he remembered that. He tried not to be he too felt useless sometimes. Tiger-roar could call him a kittypet all he wanted but the great warrior knew he was far from useless from the way he trained him. He knew he would have to put all of what Tiger-roar taught him to bring him down.

He felt a nudge on his shoulder and glanced at his companion "Hey Ice, you okay?" Graystripe asked, her yellow eyes filled with concern

"Yeah I'm fine just thinking" Icefire replied

"Bout how Voletail's a mouse-brain"

"He's your former apprentice Graystripe"

"He's acting like he's Starclan's gift, I didn't expect he'd be a warrior so soon"

"It's not Brokentail soon and he's been growing alot since before and after he came back, he was old enough" Icefire muttered "Over-seers did say he was doing well"

"Not sure why Leopardstorm or Miststrike had to admit it" Graystripe looked away "I'm worried for Riverclan"

"Me too"

Icefire knew Riverclan was having troubles. He saw all the oil and the dark, rotting fish. He wanted to do something or at least check up on them.

When they reached the edge of the trees Icefire realized that the water had risen even farther. The Sunningrocks were almost submerged now, and the current swirled around them in tight circles. "We'll never make it across there" he mewed

"Let's head downstream" Graystripe suggested "We might be able to use the stepping stones"

"We can try" Icefire mewed uncertainly. He was about to follow his lover when he thought he heard something a thin, wailing sound, above the wind and the rushing of the torrent. He didn't know if it was real of his ears acting up. "Wait," he called "Did you hear that?"

Graystripe looked back, both cats stood, ears pricked, straining to catch the sound. Then Icefire heard it again the panic-stricken mewing of kits in distress.

"Where are they?" he mewed, looking around and up into the trees. "I can't see them"

"There" Graystripe flicked her tail in the direction of the Sunningrocks "Icefire, they'll drown!"

Icefire saw that the current had driven a mat of twigs and debris up against the Sunningrocks. Two kits balanced precariously on it, their tiny mouths stretched wide as they wailed for help. Even as Icefire watched, the current tugged at the mat, threatening to sweep it away. "Come on," he yowled to Graystripe "We've got to reach them somehow"

Taking a deep breath, he waded into the flood. The water soaked into his fur at once, and paralyzing, icy chill crept up his legs. The tug of the current made it harder to stay on his paws with every step he took.

Graystripe splashed in behind him, but when the water reached her belly fur she stopped. "Icefire..." she choked out.

Icefire twisted around to give her a comforting nod. He could understand how the river might terrify Graystripe, after he nearly dragged her into a water grave moons ago. "Stay there" he mewed "I'll try to push the mat over to you"

Graystripe nodded, trembling too trembling too violently to speak. Icefire waded forward a few more paces, then launched himself into t he current and began to swim, thrashing his legs instinctively to push himself through the disgusting black water. They were upstream of the Sunningrocks; if Starclan was kind, he should be carried down toward the kits.

For a moment he lost sight of them in the wind-ruffled waves, though he could still hear their terrified cries. Then the smooth gray bulk of a Sunningrocks loomed up beside him. He kicked out strongly, fearing for one panic-stricken heartbeat that he would be swept right past.

The current swirled; Icefire's paws worked furiously, and the river tossed him against the rock, driving the breath out of his body. He saw the outline of the tortie that was around Bluestar, her wounds didn't look healed, her amber eyes eyes were filled with worry. She flicked her tail in the direction. He thought the kits were. He scrabbled at the rough surface, bracing himself against the rushing water, and found himself face-to-face with the two kits.

They were both very small, still suckling from their dam, Icefire guessed. One was a dark gray tom with dark mottled markings that reminded him of Goosefeather and the other was a black tom, their fur plastered against their tiny bodies, their brilliant blue eyes wide with terror. They were crouched on a tangled mat twigs, leaves, and human rubbish, but when they saw Icefire they started to scramble toward him. The mat lurched and their wails grew louder as river water sloshed over them.

"Save them!" The tortie's voice rang in his ears.

"Keep still!" Icefire gasped, paddling against the current. Briefly he wondered if he could climb onto the rock and haul the kits up with him but he saw the tortie look at him and shake her head as if she could hear his thoughts. He shook that though away and went with the better plan which was to push the mat over to Graystripe. Looking back, he saw his friend had already moved downstream, into a good position to catch the mat as it swept toward him.

"Here we go" Icefire muttered "Starclan help us!" He pushed himself off the rock, thrusting at the mat with his muzzle to guide it into the current. The two kits whimpered and flattened themselves against the twigs.

Icefire put every last scrap of energy into pushing the mat ahead of them with nose and paws. He could feel exhaustion draining the strength from his limbs. His fur was soaked, and he was so cold he cold hardly breathe. Raising their head and blinking water out of his eyes, he realized with horror that he had lost sight of Graystripe and the bank. It seemed as if there was nothing in the world but the churning water, the fragile mat of twigs, and the two terrified kits.

Then he heard Graystripe's voice, sounding close by "Icefire! Icefire, here!"

Icefire thrust again at the mat, trying to propel it toward the voice. It spun away from him, and his head went under. Coughing and choking, he clawed his way back to the surface, to see Graystripe pacing on dry land just a few tail lengths away.

For a heartbeat Icefire felt relief that he was nearly there. Then he focused his blurred eyes on the kits again, and again fear pulsed through him. The mat was beginning to break up.

Icefire watched helplessly as the twigs underneath the gray kit gave way and the tiny creature was plunged into the torrent.

"No!" Graystripe yowled, launching herself after the drowning kit.

Icefire had lost sight of them because of his fucked up vision. He heard the kit left on the mat squealing desperately, the kit was trying to cling to the twigs, he felt the mat starting to split apart by the current. With the last of his strength Icefire drove himself forward, sank his teeth into the little creature's scruff, and kicked out for dry ground.

Within moments he felt stones as he rolled onto them, keeping the kit close during the process and managed to stand. Stone-limbed with weariness, he staggered out and dropped the gray kit on the grass edge of the flood. Its eyes were closed; he was not sure if the kit was still alive.

Glancing downstream and narrowing his eyes, he saw Graystripe splashing out of the shallows, with the black kit gripped firmly in her teeth. He padded up to Icefire and set it gently on the ground.

Icefire nosed both kits. They were lying very still, but when Icefire looked closer he could see the faint rise and fall of their flanks as they breathed. "Thank Starclan" he muttered. He began to lick the black kit like he did kits in the nursery, Graystripe followed his example.

Soon the black kit twitched and coughed up a mouthful of river water. It took longer for the gray kit to respond, but at last it too coughed up water and opened its eyes.

"I'm so glad they're alive" Graystripe exclaimed, her voice filled with relief

"Yes, but they won't survive long without their dam" Icefire pointed out. He sniffed the black kit carefully. The river water had washed off much of the clan scent, but he could detect a faint trace. "Riverclan, Mistyfoot's kits" he mewed, unsurprised "We'll have to take them home"

He had almost drowned rescuing the kits, and he felt exhausted. His limbs were cold and stiff, and his fur was soaked to the bone. He may look bulky but it's mostly fluff. He honestly wanted nothing more than to creep into his nest and sleep for a moon.

Graystripe, still crouched over the gray kit, looked as if she felt the same. Her thick gray fur was flattened against her body, and her yellow eyes were wide with anxiety. "Do you think we can cross?" she mewed

"We've got to Gray, or the kits will die" Forcing himself to his paws, Icefire picked up the black kit and headed downstream. "Let's see if we can cross the stepping-stones, like you said" Graystripe padded after him, carrying the gray kit through the wet grass at the edge of the floodwater.

When the river was at its usual level, the stepping-stones were an easy route across for Riverclan cats. The longest leap from rock to rock was mo more than a tail-length, and Riverclan controlled the territory here on both sides of the river.

Now floodwater completely covered the stones. But where they had once broken the surface, a dead tree, its bark stripped away, lay across the river. Icefire guessed that some of its branches had been caught on the submerged stepping-stones.

"Thank Starclan!" he exclaimed. "We can use the tree to cross" He adjusted his grip on the kit and waded out into the flood toward the splintered end of the tree trunk. The kit, seeing the churning water barley a mouse-length below its nose, began to mewl and struggle feebly.

"Keep still, both of you" Graystripe growled gently, as she set down the gray kit to adjust her grip. "We're going to find your dam"

Icefire wasn't sure if his terrified kit was even old enough to understand, but at least it went limp again so it was easier to carry. he had lift his head high to keep the tiny creature clear of the water as he floundered toward the tree. He reached it without needing to swim and sprung upward, clawing for a grip on the soft, rotting wood.

Once he had pulled himself up, his main concern was keeping a pawhold on the smooth, slippery trunk. Gingerly placing each of his paws in straight line, Icefire padded toward the opposite bank with river churning beneath him, sucking at the tree as if it wanted to sweep it, and its burden of cats, away downstream. Icefire glanced back to see Graystripe following with the gray kit, his face creased with determination.

At the far end trunk divided into a tangle of broken branches. Icefire ducked down to squeeze through them, being careful not to let the kit's fur catch the splinters. It was harder to find a pawhold as the branches tapered, and he ran out of anything that might bear his weight when there was still a gap of a couple of fox-lengths separating him from the far side of the river.

Icefire took a deep breath, flexed his hindlegs, and leaped. his front paws his bank while his hind paws kicked madly in the rushing current. As water splashed up, the kit started to struggle again. Icefire kept his teeth clenched in its neck fur as he sank his front claws into soft earth and scrabbled upward until he stood safely on the bank. He lurched forward a few paces and set the kit down gently.

Glancing around, he saw Graystripe pulling himself out of the water a little way downstream. He lowered the gray kit to the ground and shook herself. "The river water tastes like mouse-dung" she spat

"Have you tried fox-dung? cause you would need to know what that tastes like to make a comparison" Icefire smirked

"Icefire!" Graystripe whined

Icefire couldn't help but chuckle. "Look on the bright side" Icefire suggested.

"What's the bright side?"

"It could've been fox-dung"

"That's it you little-" Graystripe broke off as three cats crashed out of the bushes just beyond her. Icefire braced himself as he recognized Leopardclaw, Blackclaw, and Stonefur. Forcing his tired legs to move, he picked up the gray kit and padded along the bank to stand beside Graystripe. The gray warrior hauled herself to her paws, and the two cats set down their burdens and faced their enemies together.

Icefire hoped that the patrol wouldn't attack them. He knew that he and Graystripe were too exhausted to stand up to a patrol of strong, fresh warriors, and his head spun as he tried to summon enough energy for a fight into his frozen paws. But to his relief, the Riverclan cats halted a few tail-length away.

"What's this?" Leopardclaw growled. Her golden-spotted fur bristled, and her ears were flattened against her head.

Beside her, Blackclaw stood with his lips drawn back in a snarl. "Why are you-" he was cut off by Stonefur rushing over to them "They found them, Pikekit Perchkit, they found Misty's kits" the scarred warrior mewed with relief. Graystripe rested the black kit down and Stonefur nuzzled it.

Leopardclaw's eyes widen with realization, she stepped forward but Blackclaw stepped infront of her. His amber eyes blazing with mistrust. "How do we know you didn't try to steal them?"

Icefire stared at the black tom. After risking their lives in the floodwater, he couldn't believe that they were actually being accused of stealing the kits. "Don't be such a mouse-brain!" he spat "No cat from Thunderclan tried to steal your kits when we could walk across the river on the ice. Why do you think we'd try it now? We nearly drowned! Do you think we're Brokentail?"

Leopardclaw looked thoughtful and seemed pleased with that response, but Blackclaw stalked up and thrust his head aggressively into Icefire's face.

Stonefur turned his head "Blackclaw don't-"

But Blackclaw did. He struck Icefire, he felt claws split open his nose. Icefire stumbled a little and Blackclaw advanced, pinning him down.

"Blackclaw!" Leopardclaw mewed sharply "Back off! We'll let these cats explain themselves to Stormstar, and see if he believes them"

"I say we deal with them now" Blackclaw snarled back, spitting in Icefire's face

Icefire struck Blackclaw with an uppercut on the bottom of his right cheek. He kicked off the older warrior, his teeth bared. "I'd say listen to your clanmate"

"Why you-"

Stonefur shoved Blackclaw to the ground, the black warrior pinned on his back with Stonefur digging his claws in. "Enough Blackclaw" he gazed at Icefire's wound "Doesn't look like it'll scar"

"Let's go" Leopardclaw ordered

The Riverclan deputy led the way along the bank, Blackclaw tried to take Pikekit from Icefire who he'd been carrying but Stonefur shoved him away once again while carrying the Perchkit.

When they reached the island where the Riverclan cat shad their camp, Icefire saw a wide channel of racing water separated it from the ridge of dry ground, wrenching at the overhanging boughs of the willows trees. No cats were visible through the reeds, and Icefire could see silver water lapping among the bushes that concealed the camp.

Leopardclaw paused, her eyes widening with alarm. "The water has risen since we left camp" she mewed

As she spoke, a yowl came from behind at the top of the slope, "Leopardclaw! Up here!"

Icefire turned to see Stormstar, emerging from the shelter of the bushes. His gray tabby coat was soaked, fur sticking out in all directions, and his twisted jaw made him look as if he were mocking the patrol and their prisoners.

"What happened?" Leopardclaw demanded as she reached her leader.

"The camp is flooded" Stormstar replied. His voice was flat with defeat. "We've had to move up here"

As he spoke, Silverstream, Morningriver, and Poolpaw emerged cautiously from the bushes.

"And what have you brought us?" Stormstar went on.

"They found the kits" Leopardclaw told him, nodding to Stonefur and Icefire to bring the kits forward. Blackclaw tried to take Pikekit again but Icefire shoved him away with a paw as he set the kit down, he heard Stonefur chuckle. "They claim they pulled them out of the river"

"I don't believe a word of it!" Blackclaw spat "You can't trust a Thunderclan cat"

At the mention of the kits, Silverstream had turned and disappeared rapidly under the bushes again. Stormstar padded forward and sniffed the pathetic bundles. By now they had began to recover from their ordeal and were trying to sit up, though they still looked completely waterlogged.

"Mistyfoot's kits went missing in the flood, we didn't know if they survived" The gray tabby leader lifted his head, his eyes didn't seem hostile just with pure exhaustion.

At that moment Mistyfoot broke out of the bushes and came racing over to them. "My kits! Where are my kits?" They crouched over the tiny scraps of fur, staring wildly around as if they thought the other cats would try to take them away from her. Then they began licking them furiously, trying to comfort both of them at once. Stonefur and Mudbelly pressed up close on either side of them and mewed comfortingly into their ear. Skyeyes and Leopardclaw also went to comfort the frantic cat.

Silvertream, Willowheart, and Minnowpool followed slowly more slowly and stood beside their father, eyeing the Thunderclan cats.

More cats emerged after them and gathered curiously around. Some seemed at little calmer when they saw him, they were already used to his presence. He spotted Condorpaw, he flashed him a small smile as did Lakepaw. He saw Mudfur, crouching near Mistyfoot to examine the kits.

All of the Riverclan cats were wet through, and the fur clinging to their bodies showed they were skinnier than ever.

[deliciousscaloppine]

A TRUE RAREPAIR APPROACHES

For Jiang Yanli / Luo Qingyang (Mianmian!) Are you more the type to cut off your braid and wear an armour to save your princess or the type to give up your royal privileges to run away with your beloved maid? 

This is really too long for a prompt, and too short for the story I wanted to write so excuse my bad planning (the story elements are good though)

The carriage rocked and rattled, making her sleepy.

“Is Lanling a big city?” her brother asked from outside. He was riding on a horse, out in the open air with no care in the world. No worries about his complexion darkening under the harsh sun. No petulant groom for him to satisfy with the pale color of his skin.

“Big? What kind of silly question is that! Why don't you ask if the sun shines.” her other brother barked from the other side of the carriage. “Of course, it's big, I showed it to you on the map!” He was also riding on a horse, out in the open air, his only care if he would make a good impression.

“Why are you mad! Don't you know there are no silly questions! All I want to know is how comfortable our sister will be. Lotus Pier is so distant and so small, it's okay for a peasant's life, but our sister is a fairy from the moon. She deserves the best wedding!”

“You needn't worry, young master!” the driver of the carriage said. “Lady Jiang will have no shortage of comforts. Carp Tower is like a town unto itself. It's no mere mansion. Its residences are outnumbered by its many workshops and shrines. Anything she wants will be delivered to her. All her life she might not have need to step outside of her husband's bedroom.”

An awkward silence followed. Her little brother knocked on the carriage window.

“Big sister, did you hear that?” he said concerned. “Listen, if you want to bolt, just say so. I'll take you on my horse and we'll disappear into the night.”

She had smiled “A-Xian.”

Her family where once rangers. They traveled throughout the land in ceaseless motion. They slept outside under the starry sky, they hunted for food, they knew how to make fire. They didn't mind wearing rags as they fought for justice. Perhaps that's why her father liked little A-Xian so much. He still had that hint of wilderness inside him.

But somewhere along the line, the Jiang had married well, they had acquired a big home and followers, and the ranger had become gentry. Not fully extinguished perhaps, but definitely more preoccupied with courtly manners, and dress, and important political alliances.

The carriage stopped and a loud voice was heard proclaiming some herald of the Jin Clan.

“What do you mean this carriage is too small! It's perfectly sized.” she heard her brother argue outside. “That thing is so big, it might as well be a house. How we'll talk to our big sister in this?”

She poked her head through the window. A well-dressed, if somewhat self important herald approached her.

“Lady Jiang, your future husband, the groom, the pearl of Carp Tower, our lord Jin Zixuan is sending this carriage for you so that you can enter the city with the honor befitting the status of the future lady of Carp Tower.”

Jiang Yanli was already dizzy from the rocking of the carriage. She had hoped to walk a few paces and breathe some fresh air before arriving in Lanling.

“I will take it, if my brothers are permitted to ride at the front.” she said getting off.

Her brothers looked at her uncertain. How could she tell them, she was supremely tired of their bickering. Of course, it was the nerves of the separation, but she had even more of those, and she had to maintain not only a perfect composure, but also a flawless complexion.

The road full of pebbles and rocks, crunched under her shoes and she wondered if that was that last bit of her freedom waving goodbye. A large retinue of maids and servants and all sorts of Jin disciples stood to greet her

“I am Luo Qingyang” a young, athletic lady with a sword and a fairly sunkissed complexion bowed. “I will be keeping you safe on this journey.” she said and showed her the way into the large, ornate carriage.

“You can call me Mianmian. Everybody does.” Luo Qingyang said once they were inside.

“Mianmian!” Yanli laughed behind her hand.

“Isn't it funny! But only girls can call me like that!” she said brightly and reached for a little embroidered pouch from her pocket. She handed it to Yanli. “Here! If you get dizzy smell this. It's some aromatic herbs, they help with headaches and the such.”

Yanli pressed it to her face smiling. “You make these yourself?”

“I am a talented swordswoman, but there is not much to do around in Carp Tower, I mostly escort ladies of the house and lord Jin Zixuan. I learned how to make these aromatic pouches from the other ladies there. They help me remember home.”

Mianmian took out another pouch. “This one has dried herbs my mother plants in her garden. When I get a little homesick, I press it to my face like this. I'll show you how to make them, they are pretty easy! This way you can take the smell of lotus flowers with you wherever you go.”

Yanli looked at the colorful pouch in her hands. “Thank you.” she said and felt tears coming to her eyes.

Mianmian pulled out a kerchief. “Oh, don't cry over a silly pouch! You'll see, you'll miss nothing when we get to Carp Tower. Whenever you get a little homesick, we'll just hop on this carriage and trot at the pace of a snail all the way to Lotus Pier!”

Yanli laughed. She laughed many times, until night descended around them and the horses had to rest.

“What is lord Jin Zixuan like?” Yanli asked lying down on the soft pillows, pressing Mianmian's aromatic pouch in her hand. It was hot in the carriage, but too cold for her to go outside.

Mianmian sighed. “Well, he is kind of aloof, you know. But he just doesn't know how to express himself. I mean, he comes across as conceited. Well, not conceited...self-important? No, that's not the word! Uhm, too full of himself?”

Jiang Yanli paled.

“But he is alright, I guess. I don't think you will be seeing him often, anyway. A sect leader is always terribly busy. Lord Guangshan almost never sees Lady Jin. Even though that whole thing is a different issue.”

“How so?”

“Well, they were forced into this marriage when they were very young, and they never really hit it off. I guess each felt trapped in a relationship they didn't want to be in, and both acted out in ways that caused a permanent rift between them.” Mianmian said. “Though lord Guangshan certainly did the most to ruin the relationship...with all of those uhm...extramarital affairs.”

Yanli sat up on her elbows. “I need a breath of fresh air” she said.

The night was dry and cold all around them, Yanli had needed a coat. The pebbles crunched under their feet. But the sky was clear and all one could see were stars, as many of them as the pebbles of the road underneath their feet. She smiled again to herself. Better not. Her family had good reason to settle.

“I will like Carp Tower.” she said in a loud voice.

“Eh, it's alright.” Mianmian followed. “It sure is impressive at first, but then everyone has so many opinions, so many little things you can slight someone over. So no one ever does or says anything that's slightly out of the ordinary. We all politely eat lunch and smile at each other.”

“How come you never left then!” Yanli heard herself exclaim. “If it's so horrible and boring what are you doing there.”

Mianmian lifted her shoulders. “It's comfortable, I guess.” she said, and Yanli felt her stomach twist in a knot. It was so cold she felt dizzy. The thought of galloping through the night, not with A-Xian, someone else, then seemed utterly ridiculous to her.

She was no ranger! She wasn't even a swordswoman. She was just a pliant, handsome girl who knew how to light the stove and cook, and make everyone feel better. That'swho she had wanted to be! That's who she thought she were. No catching fish or pheasants, and playing all day like little A-Xian. No practicing the sword and running amok like A-Cheng.

“Can you hunt, Mianmian? I don't mean monsters, or other ghouls. I mean can you catch pheasants or fish by the riverside?”

Mianmian looked at her bewildered. “I never had to. Every meal at Carp Tower is a feast.” Mianmian however could tell that was not the answer Jiang Yanli was looking for. “...I could try.” she offered.

“How about a horse? Can you ride one?”

“I always prefered my own two feet.” Mianmian said. “I can ride the sword though. That has to count for something.”

The sword, Janli thought. The sword.

Two days later the carriage arrived at Lanling, and an auspicious wedding was held after some time. Everyone drank to the new bride's health. She put on the fineries of Carp Tower, and smiled. And after a while there came a momeent when she had to say goodbye to her own two brothers, her mother and father and be now a true lady of the Lanling Jin.

“We'll come to see you often!” her brothers waved at her and left.

The groom? The groom was fine. Mianmian said he was polite and considerate, but Yanli thought he was entirely cold. On their first night together he had said, “Why don't you acclimate yourself to life in Carp Tower first,” and then left.

Her first thought was that she had done something wrong. That by some oversight, she had made herself undesirable. She looked at herself in her mirror and craved to be kissed, and held, and be talked to softly. To be squeezed in someone's arms.

“Don't take it to heart!” Mianmian had laughed the next day. “I am sure he is just as nervous as you!”

“I am not at all nervous.” she had said wistfully and wondered if it was wrong. If not being nervous was that disastrous oversight.

“I would be.” Mianmian mused. “I mean you do not really know your husband at all. That is a strange situation. He never had to find what you like and seek your favor.”

“It's too late now for all that.”

“I have an idea!” Mianmian said. “Why don't you tell me what you like! Then I can go and tell him! I'll be like your secret messenger.”

Yanli laughed. “That's childish!” she said. “He wouldn't like that!”

“Why not? Come on let's try! What is something you really like doing?”

Yanli mused. “I guess, I would really like it if he tried some of my soup.” Yanli immediately felt more heartened after expressing herself. “That's right! I want to make him some lotus and rib soup!” 

She took Mianmian and together they went to the kitchen. The many maids that took care of the cooking were very surprised to see a lady of the house in all her exorbitant jewlery and fine silk satins among them, opening cupboards and asking where this and that ingredient were.

For the first time in several days, she felt like her old self. Like she was back at Lotus Pier, waiting for night to fall and share food and stories with her two brothers. Mianmian chattered incessantly, and from time asked to help, chopping the ribs, and grating the ginger, asking why they skim the foam from the top.

“It smells so good!” she finally said, as Yanli carefully served the soup in a bowl.

“Take it to him, before it's cold!”

Mianmian did as she was told, but when she returned, she had no eloquent messages of thanks.

“He's probably too busy to eat soup, right now.” she said.

“Or perhaps he finds it too provincial.” Yanli thought.

“Come on, let's eat the two of us!” Mianmian said and taking the ladle, she served them.

Yanli tasted the soup. It was not exactly how she used to make it. But she didn't what it was that was missing. Carp Tower had everything, it lacked neither ginger, not scallions. Was it the meat? The lotus root? Was it the air of this mansion, heavy with incense and slightly oppressive from the sweat of the fawning courtiers. Did it alter the taste of the soup?

“It's really good!” Mianmian said sipping some of the broth.

“It's not as good as I make it on Lotus Pier. Maybe that's why he didn't like it.” Yanli said pushing the bits of meat and lotus around in her bowl.

“What are you talking about! This is a hearty dish, I've never really tasted anything like it before, but even if I had, I would be glad if someone had just cooked it for me. It might not taste exactly as it does on Lotus Pier, but how could it, you are yourself a different person.”

Yanli's face droop. That's right, she thought, I am sadder. When her two brothers would come back, their faces lit up at the prospect of the soup, her heart was full. They were waiting to be with her, just as much as she did all day...Here no one paid mind to such things. Here no one was waiting.

“What's with the face!” Mianmian asked around a mouthful of lotus root. “Are you feeling homesick?”

“I do.” Yanli said.

“Then eat up! You'll feel better. That's what I always do! When I miss home, I eat watercress soup.”

But Mianmian didn't just say this. Taking a spoonful of soup she guided it to Yanli's lips. Yanli laughed and ate. And soon, she found out there was absolutely nothing with her soup. It tasted great. She ate and ate, until she finally felt full.

I should have played more with my brothers, she thought, when she had finished eating. I should have taught them how to make this soup, and they should have taken me hunting. This way my life would be more complete.

“I never really followed my brothers in their adventures.” she said to Mianmian. “Now I wish I had at least once.”

The following week, a great hunt was held in Phoenix Mountain. All week people run here and there to build a beautiful pavilion for the hunters to rest, and arrange the many refreshments that would be served. Yanli had to dress especially nice, and greet with Madam Jin the many guests. After a while all she had to do was sit at her own table and smile demurely at every remark, at every conversation, even if it was not directed at her.

Until Mianmian came and sat by her side. “I know what will cheer you.” she said. “Let's go hunting together. Let's go catch fish and pheasants!”

“We can do that?” Yanli asked.

“We'll just say you needed to stretch your legs and breathe the fresh air!” Mianmian said, and taking her by the hand, she stole away with her into the forest. Yanli became breathless and dizzy pretty soon, but there Mianmian was, kicking stones out of the path, and giving her her hand, when they had to climb up a steep path.

Mianmian was small, but she was agile and strong like a little mountain goat. They climbed and climbed until miraculously they came across a pheasant.

“I bet I can hit it with my sword from here!” Mianmian said.

“You can't use your sword for a poor bird. You have to give it a fighting chance.”

“Alright.” Mianmian said rolling her sleeves and lunging right on it. The pheasant put up a valiant fight, thrashing around agrily until it won. Screeching offended, it bolted for the bushes.

“I guess I am not that good at catching pheasants.” Mianmian said putting her hands on her waist. From the top of her head to her toes she was covered in dirt and dust, a few plumes sticking out of her hair.

Yanli laughed. “We'll have better luck catching fish!” she said, following the sound of nearby water.

“Only if you let me use my sword.” Mianmian grumbled.

Even if it was the height of summer the rivulet they found was cold, nevertheless Mianmian waded through it valiantly. “Wait here!” she called climbing on a rock.

“I see a lot of fish.” she said, shielding her eyes from the reflections of the water. “I wonder if I can try something.”

Mianmian closed her eyes and unseathed her sword.

“Lady Luo! Don't be excessive!” Yanli called.

But Mianmian didn't stab any fish, until not at first. She waved her sword in a great arc, her body following it like a wave. Rising its tip well above her head, her knee folding. Following the crescent  of this move with her elbows bent, one arm extended, directing power with her index and middle fingers. Breathing as the sword rests for a moment before a decisive swing.

It looked oddly like a dance, Yanli thought. She had seen her two brothers often practice, but their form had nothing as graceful as that. They always looked as if they struggled against something; the air around them, their own shape, their own power perhaps.

The sword glimmered and shined, changing angles around Luo Qingyang's body, moving as if something invisible balanced on its very tip.

Then she brought it powerfully down, smacking the surface of water. The survace of the rivulet bounced, expelling all the fish in the air above them. Yanli shrieked, delighted, as a shower of trouts descended all around them.

Mianmian flew through the air, stabbing two fish, before landing triumphantly. “Let's eat them now!” she exclaimed.

Yanli gathered some twigs. She knew at least how to light a fire. She made a small firepit at the edge of the shore, and lined it with smooth rocks from the river. This was exciting, it was a proper outing in the wild – even if the hunters' pavilion was an hour away.

Yanli smiled to herself as she prepared the kindling. But for some reason when she tried to make fire, her hands faltered. She tried something she knew how to do, but the comfortable life in Carp Tower had made her forget.

Mianmian kneeled by her side, taking the flint from her hands. “Here, let me!” she said brightly, as she stood next to her, their shoulders touching, the sparks flying.

“My mom is a great cook! She taught me how to light a stove at least.” she said smiling.

“I knew how to do this once.” Yanli said loudly.

“You still do! You are probably tired from our little excursion.”

“...Do you think I could live outside, Mianmian?” she asked. “Like a ranger, with no home, just roaming the country on a horse and little else.”

“I am sure you could do anything you put your mind to.” Mianmian said quietly.

Even though Yanli had managed to do this one thing, her heart was now heavy. This was a summer dream, she thought as the fish was roasting. She should just enjoy it and then let it fade away.

The two of them ate their country meal, and as dusk began to approach, they made their way down the path laughing and joking, sometimes holding hands, when the climb down was too steep. When they finally arrived at the hunters' pavilion, before the sun began to set, a great commotion was waiting for them.

The disappearance of the young lady had caused quite the stir. Yanli had wanted to say, “I was just catching fish.” She knew what an immature thing it was to say. So she smiled and apologized profusely, while her husband sat at a corner and sulked, and Mianmian made her own excuses.

When the day was concluded and all the party returned to Carp Tower, Yanli felt she had to apologize to him especially. She tried to explain to him at first what that hunt meant for her. How her brothers would go on long trips, and fool around, knowing that when they came back, they would come back to a home.

“Lady Jiang!” Jin Zixuan said, as if they were not married. “How do you think it makes me feel, when I go looking for you and can't find you!”

Left alone once more during the night, she began to cry. Was it a delusion to think she could bring home with her? Mianmian appeared at the frame of the door.

“Don't cry! It was all my fault!” she cried and in less than a moment, she had embraced her.

“I am not crying about today.” Yanli said. “I am crying for tomorrow and all the tomorrows that will follow after that. I don't think I will ever have Jin Zixuan's love, but even if I did, I am no so sure I would want it.”

Mianmian dried her eyes with her sleeve.

“He might have sounded cold, but I believe in his heart of hearts he has a true fondness for you. When he sees you, he must surely feel like you are the most thoughtful and exceptional person in the world. I know that with time all he'll want is to fall deeply in love with you.”

“He never said that. Stop speaking his mind for him.”

“I am sorry.” Mianmian said confused, her eyes suddenly filling with regret.

Yanli clasped her, tightened her hands around those strong arms that could wield a sword. “When you talk to me like that don't do it for him! Defend me for yourself, love me for yourself.” she said, and as if shocked by her own words, she clasped her mouth next and fled.

She ran through the garden, and hid, like a scared child who has done something worthy of reproach. She stayed for a long time hidden, watching the carp dance in the water, wondering what was happening to her. What were those new things she wanted and why, and sometimes she thought of nothing at all, except for Luo Qingyang's face.

“Don't make this more difficult than it is.” she heard a voice suddenly say. She peeked from behind the bushes and saw Mianmian with two other disciples.

“Madam Jin wants you to leave. Here's some money, take it and go.” they said.

Mianmian looked at their hands, and then with very little hesitation, she took off the lavish garment of the Jin Clan and tossed it at them before storming away.

There were no more reproaches, only consequences.

That night, she smiled and greeted everyone at the banquet. She had graceful words for everyone, but it was not her saying these words. It was a ghost that repeated the things that had been fixed on it since childhood. Yanli felt it retreat from her more firmly with each act of decorum. Goodbye, she said to it with her mind.  

At precisely midnight, a great wind swept the tower, rattling every door and window. Yanli wore her hardiest coat and exited her room. It might have been a fierce night, but the air was fragrant with the smell of the peony flowers. So she run through the empty garden laughing.

She run with with her skirts clutched in her hands, as a torrent of flowers drifted in the wind above her.

“Turn away! Go back!” angry voices sounded in the night. For a moment, she froze, thinking they were coming from her mind. A sword hummed sonorously above the raging wind.

“None of you can stop me!” a familiar voice was heard, and then the sound of a blade thrashing, humming with the stress of every hit, producing a clear sound like a wailing song. Yanli run faster.

Mianmian was in the courtyard dancing with her sword. Twisting around attacks, bouncing her blade on weapons, until they broke. Her form nothing but perfect, as if there was nothing between her and the world, no other blades, no lances, no screams. As if she was just practicing steps in the dark, in deep meditation.

“Fall back! Fall back!” the voices cried. Yanli run to the very bottom of the steps, as bewildered men fled around her.

Mianmian smiled and gave her her hand. The sword hummed and stepping on air, it pulled them through the fragrant, night air, upwards towards the stars.

There were never seen again in the world, but I am sure they are quite happy.

[lucastheunlucky]

sweet treat | rio+luke

Date: Prior to the full moon, week of 6/1/20 Location: Coffee Plus Summary: The two bois have a conversation over muffins and drinks. They both carry many scars that hold great pain and the two seem to understand they are a little broken, but they find great relief in that they can speak freely without judgement between them. @3starsquinn​

Luke hadn’t been in the coffee shop in a long fucking while. The smell almost made his mouth salivate. There was something truly delicious and unique about coffee shop scents, almost like the bakery or his pizza shop. He waved towards Rio with his good arm, and greeted the other with an easy smile for looking exhausted. “Listen, I’m so excited for this drink. I need the energy,” he huffed a laugh, “you really going to order a hot chocolate? I love it. Let’s get some carbs too.” 

If nothing else, Orion was just happy that Lucas was safe. Ever since the two had spoken, Rio couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had known about Lucas from the moment that he had met him. He was cursed with that knowledge, in a lot of ways. He never wanted that ability, never wanted that awful intrusion into someone’s personal life. The same ability that people like his parent’s and other hunters used to get a one-up on people like Lucas and try to kill them. The thought, the fear that this could have been done by his parents, made Rio sick to his stomach. But Lucas had been adamant that he wanted to worry about something else. Rio couldn’t blame him, so instead he would entertain it. Let them meet for food. Maybe discuss what Rio had accidentally texted him like some idiot. “Yeah, uh- I don’t really drink coffee.” Rio laughed nervously, rubbing at his neck and hopping in line with Lucas. “But they have really good hot chocolate here so it’s all good. So you’re looking great, all things considered. The recovery seems to be going… speedy.”

“I look okay? Good. Everyone else keeps telling me I look like shit--,” Lucas teased, and had to laugh a little. “I’m sleeping half the day away and eating the rest, but the time off and doing that cycle with some physical therapy has helped immensely. I’ll be in the shop this week. Back to business so long as I can make sure things are safe for my customers.” Luke waved lightly to the person behind the counter and ordered a sweet drink and a bagel with cream cheese, and two muffins and waited for Rio to order and moved to a table to wait. As if on cue, Luke yawned, and he rested his palm on his cheek and gave Rio a look over. “School is almost out right? Few more weeks? Are you going to be busy with summer?” He asked, trying to keep it somewhat light, even if they both knew they needed to talk about important things. 

“Are you kidding?” Orion laughed incredulously. From what he had gathered from the team at the pizza place, Lucas had gone through some terrible things and been gravely injured. All because some hunter thought that he had the right to harm or kill something that was different than himself. It infuriated Rio, but more than that it terrified him. He hated that they could get away with this. He just wished that he could stop them. “Considering what you went through? You look great. I’ve looked worse after far smaller things.” Rio had gotten way better at handling pain, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t get to him. “We’re all super excited to have you back at the restaurant though!” Rio ordered a hot chocolate, undecided on if he should order any food. Nothing here would fill him up. He may jump back in line later or grab something else later on. “Classes actually wrapped up. Finals were a couple weeks ago. I’m signed up for Summer classes, but I have a little break before those start so for now things have been slightly less hectic.” He had spent most of that time obsessing over the demon visions he had been seeing, but no reason to bring that up. “I’m just happy that you’re recovering and are coming back to us soon. We can use your expertise.” 

“Mhm,” Lucas didn’t like how that sounded, as if there was insinuation that there were times where Orion was hurt and hadn’t handled it well and didn’t have help. His mind toyed with seeing the scars on his arms, and Lucas’ stomach soured. There was a gentle frown on his usually grinning face, “what I’m going through is bullshit. And it’s taken me a long time to be able to see that.” He said it like he was also wanting Rio to say the same thing, as if maybe they both were being dumb softies and should have some back up. “I’m going to shut it down for a week, have it deep cleaned, do some repairs, and restock it properly. Rework the menu and get the business back end caught up so just a heads up. I’ll need all the help. I’m hiring a few more people too, I want the place packed.” He pondered more on what he wanted to say, or more how to say it. “So,” a knowing glance. “You sorta understood what happened to me, Rio?” 

It took him a long time to be able to see that? Orion had no idea what Lucas was going through, but maybe their situations weren’t too different.  Of course, they couldn’t be too similar. Rio didn’t discount what he had gone through, but he could still recognize that he held a certain advantage. Regardless of the pain, Rio had heightened healing and he grew up in a house where he wasn’t constantly afraid of being hunted and killed. Sure, he was afraid for plenty of other reasons, but he had some privileges as a hunter. “I get that.” Rio sighed. He didn’t know what else to say about it. Instead, he tapped her fingers nervously against his cup and tucked a stray piece of pink hair back under his ball cap. “That’s great! I mean, as long as that’s what you want to do. I’m really excited for it. Can I come in and help? While it’s closed?” He was technically hired for prepping, something that wouldn’t exactly be required if there were no customers to prep for. It wasn’t that Rio needed the money, he had way too much money right now actually, with two jobs and a roommate that refused to let him pay rent. But it didn’t matter. This entire meetup all boiled down to one thing, Rio knew that. The talk that they needed to have. “It was more of a theory, if anything.” Rio waved his hands and avoided eye contact. He couldn’t exactly tell Lucas about him being a hunter. Not after Lucas had just been attacked by one. “It’s stupid I just- I’ve seen stuff like that before. People getting attacked for no reason.”

“You can, it will probably be fun to flip everything on its head for a day,” Lucas commented about the pizzeria. It was due for a small update, it’s looked the same for seven plus years now. The main issue Luke had that was difficult to stomach, but one he was sort of forced to push forward with was his anonymity. He’s technically still missing, but the police records and hospital would have put him here to make it easy to investigate his whereabouts if someone really wanted to learn about it. At this point, he was in a rock and a hard place with it. So he was going to just see how it went. Not dart and hide, pull up his hoods, and shop at night. This was all going to start with Yum!Pizzeria, all his employees would know his name, know his face. No more hiding in the kitchen, doing everything. It was a big change. “I’m sorry you see that shit,” Lucas’ stomach once more balled up in a knot. He just wished for once some of this younger generation could live without so much damage to process. Thinking about the kids crying at the ice cream shop when those people after him shot it up. Luke’s lip snarled lightly before he took a sip of his drink. “People all have opinions on what should be done around here. At the end of it. You just have to survive.” Luke wasn’t interested in this being an interrogation, and ultimately, he was already more worried about Rio than himself. “What have you seen? Do you believe it all?”

Orion preferred to think about the restaurant over their other conversation. He wished they could have moved back to that subject instead. Talked ideas for cleaning and a new menu. Maybe discuss the plan for new employees. Instead, they were stuck in the conversation of Lucas’ attack. Or rather, why Rio knew what he did about it. Judging from the look on Lucas’ face, he seemed just as hesitant to talk about it as Rio was. “Eh. It’s life. Not a very fun part of it, but I think I’m in a better situation now.” Maybe. He had still gotten involved more than he wanted to in the town’s dangerous under dwellings. But at least he was doing it free of the obligation to kill. “Just because people have opinions doesn’t make them valid. Opinions are for coffee versus tea. Not whether or not something should die.” Rio grumbled, the thought of hunters viewing their views as a simple opinion made Rio furious. “I grew up in this town. I’ve seen way more than I could ever want to see or try to believe. It’s… most of the stuff isn’t even fathomable. But it’s there. I- It sounds like gibberish. I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” Rio rubbed at his temples and continued to his neck, dragging the palms of his hands across his face. He wasn’t make any sense. Trying to be indirect just wasn’t working. “Just- What I’m trying to say is I’ve grown up knowing what this town is like. I know about hunters and what they do. So when I heard about it… well I just assumed that they were involved.”

“I see,” Lucas got a little bit of an answer, and it was enough. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. I’m not looking to make this difficult between us. I’m actually a little relieved you might get why this wasn’t some random thing. I’m sure the rumors have been weird to hear without me being able to be honest.” He said, pushing the muffin’s towards Rio as a small peace offering, and split the bagel apart. White Crest cranked out many different people, supernatural, hunters, and humans, and it wasn’t unknown to Lucas that some people here knew more than they should ever have too. Especially those who grew up here like himself too. “There is a lot out in the world,” he sighed a little, taking a decent bite of the bagel and wondered how many regular people here were affected by what went on around here. It wasn’t entirely fair to them. “My situation isn’t about life or death. Luckily? Who knows,” Lucas said, “but I wasn’t asking all this to put stress on you okay? Just, wanted you to know that I’m open to listen you about stuff too. I won’t laugh at you over it. I grew up here too. I get, that this place can be a lot on the mind.”

Orion accepted the muffin, offering a smile towards Lucas in exchange and pulling a piece from it to toss in his mouth. “That’s such crap,” Rio groaned, wishing he could phrase it better or make his words seem a bit more poetic. “You shouldn’t have to make up excuses or try to explain it away. You shouldn’t be injured at all.” Rio wasn’t an angry person by nature. He rarely ever got worked up about things and had never thrown or punched something in anger. His frustration was usually expressed through tired sighing and fidgeting. “Don’t worry about me. Being stressed is just a natural state of being for me. It’s not you.” He tried laughing to dispel the mood, plopping another muffin piece in. “I really appreciate it. The open door. I’d like that. Uh- I wish there was more that I could do to help you. I don’t like knowing that the person that did this to you is still out there.” 

“Yeah, I shouldn’t be,” Lucas conceded, but it wasn’t ever his choice to be regardless if he should. Rio seemed to be flipping through thoughts, emotions rather quickly, and Lucas had to appreciate being young and able to handle all that. Luke has trained himself to let things go so he didn’t get overwhelmed in depression and shit, but the more people that tell him that he shouldn’t have to deal with this, he was slowly believing it. Getting angry over just letting it happen. “Hm, I know. There are a bunch of people around me feeling the same thing. Especially my brother. He wants to save me so bad, I worry for him. Dangerous people, they have ways around the law. It’s not an easy thing to tackle, and we’re all not sure how to handle it without causing more problems.” Lucas shook his head lightly. “Sometimes, all you can do is just live. Let life move on a little bit, so that’s why I’m trying to clean up the restaurant, upgrade it a bit. Maybe extend the hours, hire another chef even. There can’t be hiding anymore-- which has been my life for five years now. Life is just too precious to me now, if it ends bad down the road at least I lived with friends and family and not alone.” 

It was an unfortunately grim way to look at life. Despite that, Orion didn’t know how to dispute it. Lucas had a point. He knew the same things that Rio did. About the hunters. About how they were able to get away with the atrocities they committed. It wasn’t fair, and they all knew that. No point in continuing to rant about it. “I like the idea. To just live your life no matter what. I think it’s… formidable. And brave.” Far braver than Rio could ever aspire to be. Sure, Lucas had a point. No point in living life in fear. But Rio knew that there was an easier way to achieve that. By stopping the hunters. If only he had a way to do that. “Speaking of living life to the fullest, let’s uh- maybe try a less depressing topic? Now that we have all that stuff out of the way. I didn’t know that you had a brother.” He realized that until today, Lucas didn’t talk about his personal life much at all. Something else they had in common. “I have a sister. A twin actually. But uh- I wouldn’t say that we’re especially close anymore.”

Luke felt almost embarrassed about being called brave, but it was nice to hear. “Yeah, I do, he’s in town, his name is Miles, but I also have an older sister who is a lawyer out of state, and a younger brother who is probably causing trouble somewhere. I haven’t seen both of them in a very long time though.” Lucas really needed to call them. Explain everything, just to get it all off his shoulders soon. “I hope you and your sister can speak again in the future, sometimes-- I don’t know, seperation does really make you realize what you are missing, but also gives you a little bit of a break to think for yourself. Family can be in your face without much boundary, right?” Lucas settled comfortably, some of the tension leaving him shoulders. “Also, I want to find someone to do some art on the back all in the dining room. Do you know anyone who is good at finding art in town? I might even just hire an artist to paint right on the brick. What do you think would look good there? We could really go in any direction.” 

Family was a sensitive topic. Lucas seemed to hold them dear, even the ones that he hadn’t seen. Orion could tell by the lilt in his voice. It was a shame, really. Lucas seemed to love his family but couldn’t see them. Rio loathed his and felt like he couldn't get away. Even after running from the house, his family was always just around the corner. Literally, given that they live on the same island. And figuratively, given that he always felt they were peering over his shoulder. Waiting for him to mess up so that they could end things. “I’m sorry. That you haven’t seen your other family.” He didn’t know what else to say. “I uh- Yeah family is weird. Sometimes I wish that mine understood me. Or that they would just leave me alone.” That was partially the truth. But he didn’t figure it was worth mentioning that he wanted to stop them. “There’s an art gallery in town. I don’t know much about the owner.” He scratched at his head, pondering it for a moment until Lucas mentioned hiring an artist. “Oh! My roommate is an artist. A fantastic one. He’s more of a sculptor but he excels in most things. He’d be perfect.”

Lucas could also tell that family was another hard topic for them. How could someone as young as Rio have such problems there too? Luke hopes they weren’t alone too much like he had been. Running from things helped clear the mind but it wasn’t the solution, things always came back around, always found you. It seemed they were on a similar cycle, but with different people, different reasons. Luke hoped it didn’t end like it had with himself-- with near death and an unmarked grave. A deep sense of protectiveness ached in him. At least at work Rio will have him. “Your roommate is an artist? Nice, awesome man,” Lucas was excited now. “I mean I’m open to anything, I’m very chill with letting people do their thing. Why don’t you bring them to the shop sometime and let them see the space? What’s their name?”

Orion finished off the section of muffin that Lucas had slid over to him. It wasn’t always pleasant, talking about this stuff. But Lucas made talking easy. He was understanding and kind. He had met multiple people like that in the last few months. He just wished that he had known them beforehand. Maybe he would have been better adjusted. “He’s fantastic. I don’t know if it’s something he’d be interested in but I’ll definitely ask. His name is Ricky! He’s amazing. I will definitely bring him by!” With things discussed, Rio assumed the conversation had mostly wrapped.

Luke cherished the smallest of time slots that could feel normal living. With all the shit happening in town, the weird that lingered around every corner, the full moon rising, and a multitude of problems that liked to chip away at his sanity-- this small shared meal. The idol chatter afterwards that was easy, comfortable. 

[balvinia]

Across The Other - Chapter Three

After putting April to bed, Chloe said goodnight to John and left the apartment. She went first to the tree. There was no sign that Loki was there. She frowned. That was the place she had assumed that he wanted to meet her at. Chloe wracked her brain to think about where to go, then crossed into the Other. She could do so from any location, but it was easiest to open that door from this tree. Her theory had to do with the amount of magical energy that may have been left at the tree. Or, she also supposed, it was simply due to her own attachment to the location. Whatever the reason, the ease of travel was why she would often go there before leaving the earthside.

Chloe stepped out into a wooded area. It was dark and she nearly tripped over what felt like a large rock. She groaned. She was definitely out of practice. Chloe had intended on going directly to the cabin that she had visited Loki at a few times. She figured, since he wasn't at the tree, he might be there instead. She didn't know for sure if she was even close to it. Chloe felt around and, after some minutes, she gathered some sticks. It took longer for her to start a fire. She didn't know how much time passed before she managed to get enough of a spark to get something started. She froze up at every noise she heard, despite reminding herself that silence in a forest would be worse. By the time Chloe had fashioned a torch, lit it, and put the fire on the ground out, profanity was flowing out of her mouth.

She began her trek through the woods. Since it was dark, she had trouble keeping track of which direction she was going without stopping every so often to check for moss on the trees. It became easier when a sliver of the moon peeked out from behind the clouds. She followed that until she found a stream. Chloe almost felt excited until she realized that she was still lost. She sat down on the ground in a frustrated gesture. Chloe knew it would have been wiser to reopen the door and go back to her tree. She knew that the woods, either earthside or across the Other, were not a safe place to be after dark. She hung her head in shame.

"What am I doing here?" She said softly to no one.

"Perhaps you are here for me?" A gravelly voice spoke from the darkness.

Chloe jumped up. She couldn't tell which direction the voice had come from.  As she spun around, she debated what to do. Sometimes it was best to ignore things that you couldn't see, but sometimes it made them more dangerous. She squinted her eyes. "Sorry, I was looking for… someone else?" As she spoke Chloe opened the door to walk out. She stepped back to the tree and leaned against it with a huff before she heard a snap of a twig.

Expecting Loki, Chloe turned with her arms outstretched. She pulled her arms back toward her chest when she saw it wasn't him. A grey creature took a step toward her. It had a lanky body, pointed ears, and sharp teeth. She didn't know what it was, but she felt her skin crawl.

It spoke in the same gravelly voice she had heard just a moment ago. "Why did you leave me? I'm hungry. Where did you bring me?" It sniffed the air around itself.

"Fuck." Chloe slowly stepped back. She no longer had her preferred weapon and she wasn't sure if she could still send an effective energy blast at the grey creature. She gathered up her energy and, remembering she was at her tree, prayed to her ancestors for protection. She felt the air crackle around her before she shot an arrow of energy from her hands. Before it made an impact on it's target, the creature disappeared. Chloe thought that it must have returned across the Other. Good riddance, she decided.

Chloe ran her hands through her hair. She messed up. All because she wanted to find Loki, because he wasn't waiting for her at the tree.

"Loki, where are you? You unreliable asshole! Surely you knew that I would assume you wanted to meet here. Didn't you think I'd try to find you somewhere else if you weren't here?" She sighed.

It wasn't fair of her to blame him for her mistake.

Chloe sat on her heels, resting her heads in her arms over her knees. She heard a rustling sound. There wasn't any wind,  so she looked up afraid that the grey creature had returned. Instead, she saw Loki. He kneeled down beside her.

"What's wrong, darling?" Loki wiped away a tear from Chloe's cheek. She hadn't realized that she had started crying.

"I didn't know where you were. Then I went and ran into some… thing. I don't know what it was, but it freaked me out." She was now aware of more tears flooding her eyes.

Loki pulled her into his chest. "Shh… It's okay. You're here. You're safe." He rubbed her back as she sniffled.

Chloe shook her head. "It followed me here. Nothing ever followed me back before, except for you. It was here. And then it was gone." She felt him stop moving and wondered if she said something wrong.

Loki pulled himself back to look her in the face. His eyes showed concern. "You really are out of practice, aren't you?"

She nodded solemnly. The truth was, since having April, Chloe's magical practice in general had waned. Sure, she still cleansed and warded her home from time to time. She occasionally did healing work and divination. It wasn't often anymore, but she did. Astral travel and the magic she used with that, on the other hand? She was now realizing that she wasn't the expert she once thought of herself as. She hadn't been able to open the right door when she went across the Other, nor had she closed it when she returned. Chloe remembered now, too late, that she hadn't even taken any basic precautions before travelling this evening.

"Where were you?" She finally managed to whisper.

"I'm sorry. There was an issue elsewhere that I needed to attend to. I'm here now. Why had you travelled?" His voice was gently reprimanding when he asked.

Chloe shrugged. "I thought maybe you meant for me to meet you somewhere else. I guess I was too hasty?"

Loki chuckled. "Yeah, you might have been. Next time you want to cross, maybe wait for me? Or at least brush up on your basics first."

Chloe nodded. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea." She wrapped her arms around herself. "Maybe I'll do both…"

The two remained silent for a few minutes. Chloe was embarrassed at her beginner level faux pas and she was thankful that Loki hadn't said any more about it than he did. She thought of her reason for meeting Loki tonight and of her earlier conversation with John. A breeze began to blow, sending a strand of her hair over her face. She brushed it back and watched Loki.

His hair had returned to it's more vibrant fire-like color. He appeared to be studying her face. She gave him a soft smile. She didn't want him to worry any more than he already had. Standing up, Chloe took his hand. She noticed that there was a bandage wrapped around it and raised a questioning brow at him.

"Don't worry about it," he mumbled.

She shrugged. "Okay. Well, I wanted to tell you, if you'll still have me…" Chloe took a deep breath. "Did your question still stand? About us?"

Loki grinned. "I think you know the answer to that." He leaned down, his face close to hers. "Are you ready to say yes?"

Chloe closed the distance between their lips. She felt a jolt of energy spark through her body as they kissed. She didn't want that moment to end and yet, she pulled away. "Does that answer that for you?"

His eyes sparkled as he pressed his body against hers. "I don't know. Maybe you need to kiss me a little more," he mumbled into her ear.

She turned her head and gave him a quick peck, then back away playfully. "That's not all I wanted to talk to you about!"

Loki made a pouting face, then gestured for her to continue.

"I do want to astral travel again. We were talking about that before, but after tonight, I have to ask if you'd help me baby step back into it? John did have a legitimate worry about me doing it, I guess. Especially after tonight. And, I still don't want him to know just yet."

The god nodded. "Of course. Although you know I won't, nor can I, promise to be there every step of the way. Just to be clear."

Chloe shrugged. "Of course," she repeated.

Before she could say anything else, Loki pulled her back into his arms. "Now, what do you say I take you out somewhere before you need to head home?" He winked at her and their surroundings became distorted and shifted to a new location.