#in short this song is rewiring my brain

[see-arcane]

(Needless song dissection incoming)

Okay, I know the lyrics match up tonally with Jonathan's stay in Transylvanian Vampire Hell, hence 'so far from home~,' but it's starting to click home to me as something Dracula must have had on his brain as of/just after October 3rd.

The most obvious reason is that, like the rest of the @re-dracula tunes, it would only make sense to have "Inside You" happening within chronological order of events. Why backpedal all the way to the opening for a time-misplaced tune?

But the subtler reason it's most likely placed right around October 3rd's events? Potentially right after Dracula got a look at white-haired, hollow burning-eyed Jonathan in Piccadilly (and got duly mugged at kukri point)? The style of the song. It's a jaunty, whirling, waltzing, stage-ready melody.

The kind of song Dracula would likely never have heard and summarily gotten stuck in his head until he was in England and in reach of a stage. You don't need an invitation to a theatre! Everyone is welcome with a ticket! So he mills inside the same way he idled his way into wolf-browsing at the zoo, and takes in a show. And the music hooks his ear.

Cue today's spectacle, replete with making the one move guaranteed to enrage and devastate his runaway solicitor--so far from (his) home--and lay the groundwork for the young man ultimately crawling back into his thrall. Holiest love and all.

Jonathan won't stay put to be turned and take his place with the Brides like a good new addition? Jonathan wants to join his nuisance busy-brained beloved in mucking up Dracula's plans for England? Jonathan, the man who belongs belonged to him, wants to defy him, strike at him with more than a spade?

Fine.

Mina is damned by force. It is a heinous assault, but the job is done in minutes, the horror left to stain things in the bastard's absence.

But Jonathan? As the tune gleefully, insidiously implies, Dracula wants to shoulder him back through the gamut of their past roles, to take the time to make him plead for mercy that won't come (for him or her), wringing out the old doomed song and dance from his former captive until all the light he saw in his eyes--hollow-burning, strong, vicious, meaning to make the hunter the hunted--go out before Jonathan is dragged, beaten and broken at last, into the state he barely escaped in the castle.

And, like all the knife-twisting acts of that hellish summer stay, Jonathan will have to do it by choice.

Facing the wolves or waiting out the night.

Kill her or join her, my sweet friend. Don't look so sour, Jonathan. No one is forcing you to do this. Ha ha.

Even in his own sourest moods to come--and the bloodsucking fucker will have PLENTY to be sour about in future entries, get wrecked you undead prick--I imagine humming the little tune to himself will be some balm.

Ugh.

[fellshish]

just felt like letting you know im makin my way through your spn bookmarks on ao3 and its saving my life 💚 do you have an ultimate-nothing-compares destiel faves from the bunch?

YES omg these are the fics that rewired my brain changed my life etc:

And this your living kiss (M, 56k): au where dean is a self deprecating former poet who used to write anonymously under the pen name jack allen. Now he’s finding his way back to loving poetry by taking a class at a college taught by professor novak… only he doesn’t know professor novak happens to be the number one jack allen scholar in the country. Amazing. Inspiring. I’ve reread it several times and it’s probably my favourite fic of all time

The cheapest room in the house (E, 89k): one of those fics whose writing i’m jealous of, it’s mind bogglingly good. And hot. The destiel grindr fic — cas downloads grindr and dean helps him. The rituals are SO intricate. But really, nothing i could say could do justice to how good this is.

Fenario (E, 47k): cas empty rescue fic. Certain paragraphs and scenes are just seared into my brain, amazing writing. I still think about “Cas’s legs give out and he pitches forward, falling the rest of the way into Dean’s lap in a mockery of a pieta” — that’s the point where i knew this fic was gonna become a fave

Right where you left me (E, 93k): cas comes back from the empty but it’s years later. He rings the doorbell and finds dean married. This fic was an event while it was still updating. Supremely well written and with an emotional maturity needed for the theme

Am I a man or am I a muppet (G, 7k): one of the funniest fics i’ve ever read. Dean wakes up as a muppet. Just roll with it! It’s crack, sure, but so good?? This inspired a scene in one of my gomens fics even

Burn this into your brains forever (E, 10k): to me this is an underrated fic for how funny it is. Fake dating between dean and garth but don’t worry, it’s a destiel fic

Half empty (M, 37k): more of a dean study. Reads like you’re dreaming and nothing makes sense. Dean is confused about everything. Kind of a mysterious vibe, excellent writing

There is rest for the wicked (G, 14k): sleepy, domestic dean. The destiel happens so…. Idk. Naturally. It’s a fic that really stays with you for a long time

Ninety one whiskey (E, 401k): one of thee destiel fics of all time. It’s famously a must-read and for good reason. A war fic, so quite heavy and not for everyone. But an absolute experience. I read the last few chapters in bed middle of the night tears streaming down my face. Simply iconic

A winter’s tale (T, 64k): this fic forever changed the way i see cas’ human arc on the show. Not super destiel-y but can be read that way. Again quite heavy. Northernsparrow is an excellent writer.

The dean winchester beat sheet (E, 144k): au where dean is in college and in complete and utter denial about his sexuality. So supremely funny. I will say this dean is not for everyone. But to me he is iconic and i think about certain scenes still. Forever changed the song i want to break free for me.

What has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? (T, 16k): basically uhhhh dean gets turned into an octopus. HEAR ME OUT. This fic will change you fundamentally as a person. It’s funny but also smart. A classic!

Maybe it really is the end (M, 2k): it’s short but there’s not a word out of place. Basically, belphegor taunts dean and cas while in the body of jack. It’s so good and so underrated. I think about it all the time

How a grocer watches dean pull his head out of his ass in seven days (E, 51k): destiel written from an outsider pov, a christian lady who’s easily scandalised and whose narrative voice is SO hilarious. One of the funniest fics i’ve ever read. Fake dating too!

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

The Holiday Special and Homecoming

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I’m bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 5.2k

a/n:

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. Happy Holidays to all. Here's my little gift of a few short stories about the holidays in RLW. And yes... finally I have wrapped up the Homecoming story.

I listened to an awful lot of christmas songs while writing this, if anyone is interested I could attach a playlist (The Christmas Song by Nat "King" Cole is a must listen for this).

This is for you @angelofsmalldeath-codeine merry christmas beloved!

Thanksgiving 1977

By the time Andrea begins zipping up her sweater while walking home from school she realizes that perhaps her oh so thrilling friendship with Javier Peña was only a summer thing. On the last sticky day of august he ruffled her hair and joked about her sun freckles. Sitting at the lake’s dock, shoulder to shoulder a thirteen year old Andrea shares an orange with fifteen year old Javier. He tells her, her nose looked like a chocolate chip cookie, god forbid Javier even slightly throws a compliment her way. Andrea balls her hands in fists with a grin when she says thank you, her brother scoffing from the other edge of their lake dock, “He wasn’t complimenting you, you idiot.” He calls with a snort, Genie pinches his arm and he yelps. Javi looks over his tan shoulder at his best friend and laughs along. Her face falls when Javier doesn’t correct Frankie but instead pushes off away from her and runs to the other end and pushes her brother into the murky water with a voice crack laced scream. Andrea and Genie flinch from the splash. She flinches from the weather dropping below sixty, eyes narrow as she walk uphill after being dismissed for thanksgiving break. 

That was the last time she saw Javi. He stopped coming to the house to pick her and Frankie up. Two weeks into seventh grade she noticed how strange it was to not be with him. Everyone in the halls at school were strangers, shit, they hadn't even known she spent the summer crushing on Laredo’s cutest freshman. Andrea tries to practice self control by not bugging Frankie about where the hell his so-called best friend was. That was until of course October when Frankie snatched a piece of gum from Andrea’s bookbag. 

“Where are you going?” She asks, her head lifting from her damn geometry work. Frankie pops the gum in his mouth and shrugs. 

“Homecoming game with Javi.” He says it like its nothing. Her eyes go all needy and in the most little sister voice she begs to come with. Frankie screws up his face, “No. Absolutely not.” 

Andrea slams her pencil down feeling betrayed by her brother who just two months ago let her tag along, every time! 

“Have you been hanging out, like just you guys?” She asks, sounding more whiny than she wanted. 

“Yeah, we hang out every day.” He bends down and tightens the laces to his chucks, his Laredo high school pull string hoodie flopping over his head in the same movement. She remembers her heart sinking at that moment, How dare they leave her out! She stands from the chair, it screeches loud.

“What!”

Frankie laughs and heads out the door with a slam. 

So Andrea learns that, yeah, it's a summer thing.

She rewires her brain to believe it stays that way just because she was the only one still in middle school. But she still finds it beyond strange that she doesn't bump into him, not even once–not until thanksgiving. The Diaz household only celebrated christian holidays and occasionally birthdays, so thanksgiving was just another day. Andrea rolls over in bed after a good late afternoon nap, her eyes falling to her year wide calendar. 49 days until she’s fourteen. She prays she grows some boobs, blurry eyes staring down at the mosquito bites under the t-shirt. 

A knock at her room door has her sat up straight, patting down the wrinkles in her shirt. “Yes!” She calls, eyes wide and cheeks flush.

“It’s Javi.” 

Andrea nearly shrieks at the sound of his voice from behind the door and from the position she had just been in. Up on her feet she hurries to the mirror, “Give me a moment I’m-um-I’m naked.” She blurts, her cheeks heating at her brain's stupid stupid stupid self. Patting her hair in place and slipping on socks, her freckles are long gone. No longer is there a trace of summer on her, what if she was just prettier under the sun. 

 He chuckles behind the door, “Uh-um okay.”

“Come in.” She shouts instead of opening the door for him. She wonders if maybe she looks more grown, her eyes dance to the mirror and polka dot fluffy shorts that stopped mid thigh, nope definitely not. He opens the door and the sight is absolutely delightful. Javier clad in a flannel and jeans, his brows furrowing at her. Lips quirking into a smile and at that moment Andrea realizes this is Javier’s first time in her room. Her cheeks set a blaze, his eyes scan the place, he smiles lazily at a picture of the summer crew taped onto her vanity mirror. “Sorry, I was just changing after a nap.” Half true. Her eyes bounce anywhere but his own, god Andrea could be so obvious sometimes. Have I no shame? 

He frowns, lifting a tin foil plate up, suddenly the smell of Peña fresh pork and rice, and tamales. Andrea’s stomach grumbles cartoonishly and Javier splits into a chuckle. Andrea is utterly gobsmacked at how badly she likes the boy.  Is this what love feels like? Like the sound of their makes her ache, was she too young to feel that hard? She giggles anyway, “Sorry I’m so hungry, let's go to the kitchen.” She tilts her head toward the door and he nods, leading himself out. Shamelessly staring at the nape of his neck as she trails him down the stairs. She has a dangerous thought of her lips pressing right there, that thought freaks her out and she feels her stomach flip. 

“Why are you alone?” Javier asks as he sets down the plate on the kitchen island. Andrea slept off the annoyance she developed from her mother and brothers yearly antics. Each thanksgiving, the two of them, just the two of them, go out to eat. They call it their mother son day of the year, when Andrea was young she was left with her nanny who took it upon herself to take little Andrea to a movie each thanksgiving. But Andrea was no longer little and the tradition continued, so the past 3 thanksgivings had been spent alone. It was routine to her, she wasn't sure if she was ready to understand her mothers ways just yet.

This Thanksgiving fell on Andrea’s fathers birthday, it's all she knew about him. His birthday and name. Lucas, November 24th. One complicated parent a time, she didn’t dwell this thanksgiving but she’d be a liar if she said she hadn't felt like she was on the verge of tears the entire day. 

Andrea peels open the wet aluminum, oh lordy I am thankful, thank you Chucho… for this food, Andrea looks up at Javier who had been staring at her with such contentment, and thank you for making the adonis that watches me now. Grabbing a fork Andrea answers, “My mom does something with Frankie every thanksgiving so I’m left here! God this looks amazing.” She drags her fork at the slab of pork, and it pulls so beautifully she could cry. Javier pulls the plate away from her. “Hey!”

“Is this every thanksgiving?” He asks, shielding the plate with his arm to get her to answer. 

She didn't care, “Yes, now move.” Andrea pinches his wrist and he slowly pulls his hand back to his side. Shoveling the pernil in her mouth with an excited mumble. Javi stays silent for her first few bites, just watching Andrea stuff herself. She was so hungry she couldn't bother looking at him. But then he sits next to her and gets a fork for himself and begins eating off the plate with her. 

Cheeks bulging with arroz con gandules, her eyes brighten and she smiles. “Happy Thanksgiving.” She says with a full mouth, to anyone it would be a gross act but Javier had thought it was the most endearing sight ever.

“Happy thanksgiving Andrea.” 

They eat together in silence.

Javier leaves with his heart beating fast in his chest, his stomach turning in the worst way. He looks at his father in the driver's seat, Chucho rolls down the window. “What took you so long!?”

Javier shook his head, not wanting to risk shouting what he discovered at the lawn of Andrea’s home. He shoots his head over his shoulder to take one more look at the house that contained just Andrea inside. 

Running a hand through his hair, Javier opens his fathers truck door and settles in. That feeling, that hole in his chest still in full effect.  “Andrea spends every thanksgiving alone.” He says it, his chest rises and falls. Andrea spends every thanksgiving alone.

Thanksgiving 1979

Andrea spends it alone again. Javier sat with his uncle, and dad in Houston, feeling awful homesick. Javier filled out the scholarship to the High School of Law and Justice in March and got free tuition for the upcoming year in late August, he had no time to really tell Andrea. Chucho traveled north for the holidays. Cooking for his helpless little brother who had Javier living off cafeteria lunch and ramen. The house smelled delightful and it truly felt like the holidays, even if he wasn't really home. During grace, with his hand resting on his fathers shoulder, in a warm room filled with home cooked food and love, he realizes she’s likely napping again. Probably sleeping to fizzle out hunger and loneliness.

Javi struggles to enjoy his food.

Homecoming 1979

Homecoming sure felt like a holiday in Laredo, at least within the halls of the school. The week had been full of underage drinking each night, pranks, and defacing the rival schools flag. Andrea couldn’t be bothered with the festivities, she just cared that senior Brian Flores who asked her to the dance. Now she could use this as an excuse to be pretty and maybe, maybe get her first kiss. She attended the game, and met Lorraine face to face for the very first time. Andrea attempted to bite back the jealousy buttering her tongue, and she surely took it out on Javier when he asked to talk after the game. Asking her all these questions that made her feel, for just a second, that he wants to be near her as much as she wants to be near him. 

Then he called her kid, and Andrea felt winded at the blow. 

“Next time I’ll think twice before I invite my best friend's kid sister to hang out. I apologize for trying to be polite and include you, god knows you used to whine about being left out.” 

Javi had distracted her from the handsome boy clad in shoulder pads who asked if she was okay, she couldn't even bask in the feeling because immediately Javier switched to protector mode. With a furrowed brow his eyes darted from Andrea to the grown man attempting to court her, and oh it settled something deep in his stomach he was unprepared to talk about. 

“What the fuck was that?”

“What do you mean?”

After a mini tangent and a few curses about him being far too old for her, Javi in a fit of protectiveness asked Andrea just to go with him. His brain completely abandons the thought of his unofficial girlfriend Lorraine. When he watches Andrea’s eyes twinkle for one second, he is reminded of the girl he had spent the last few weeks witj and the feelings he truly felt for the Lor. He wanted to be Lorraine’s boyfriend, he was tired of sneaking around–homecoming would have been his perfect opportunity to just go steady with the girl he had a crush on. 

 “Please stop acting like you care, I don't feel left out anymore. I have my own friends and life now. You guys only had me around because my mom made you, cus’ i couldn't make friends but obviously-Obviously I’m doing better now, so just please leave me alone” With that all thoughts of anyone but Andrea clears, only panic fills his chest when he watches someone who had never been upset with him, someone who had always been eager to spend time with, reminds him that things have changed and she becomes someone who wants to be left alone. 

Andrea heads home and sleeps well, she glances over at the dress she picked out and strangely the twisting jealousy and betrayal she felt from Javier fizzled at the thought of being appreciated by someone who actually likes her. Not so bad for a freshman, she thinks. She dozes off and dreams of Javier. She dreams she accepts his invite–even if it was offered in a white hot moment. In her brain she wears something entirely different and dances with him in their school gym. It’s decorated much more beautifully than she anticipated, but her brain paints it perfect just for them. Javier doesn’t make a move on her the entire night of the dance, it wasn’t his style. When the two decide it’s time to go, he kisses her gently and slowly against the brick walls of the gymnasium. Heart in her throat, she grips to the lapels of his blazer, pointing her foot in a beautiful disney first kiss. What a lovely dream it was, maybe that’s why she feels well rested the next day. 

She gets ready with an empty house, Frankie spent the night at Genie’s, again, a photo of Sharon Tate taped to her mirror. Eyes squinted as she messes up with powdered eyeliner for the… eighth time. The guitar riff in Marmalade’s I See the Rain bouncing off the walls of her bedroom. She pats down the wrinkles on the pale yellow dress. Her chest still not quite filling the thing but the built in lace shawl like jacket covers her modestly. Melissa had found too many of the short dresses too grown for a freshman. Andrea’s eyes flick up to her own, then down to her lips. She liked those, pinching her lips together her eyes narrow attempting to give her reflection a sexy pre kiss smolder. Her nose turns up in a cringe. Stomach flipping, will Brian kiss with tongue? He’s seventeen, god, he will for sure. Her eyes survey the room, she is alone… her mom got out of work at 9 pm. Frankie had no intention of coming home until tomorrow.

Screw it.

Andrea bunches her hand, her thumb lapping her pointer. She brings her hand to her lips and attempts to emulate what she thinks a kiss should look like. Her eyes close for just a moment when she feels a rhythm that feels right, hmm this doesn't seem too bad. Hopefully his breath doesn't smell like punch–

“Andrea-what the fu-”

She squeals at the top of her lungs when her eyes fall on a hurried suit clad Javier. Her wet hand is covered in Avon’s ripe cherry lipstick. “Ah! Oh my god.” It's her worst nightmare, her none kissed hand wiping the other while Javier stares with confusion and a hint of amusement. “What-how-why–how did you get in here?!” She yells, jumping to her feet. Javier tugs at his bow tie and stares at her hand for a moment, eliciting an ahem from her throat. His cheeks hint a blush. 

“Door was unlocked.” He stated flatly. Andrea blinks a few times, her lashes still wet with mascara, was he really here or had she kept dreaming.

He was just as nervous, as he got ready in the morning he wavered his options. He goes to homecoming and tells her while she’s there with her prick of a date, he tells her everything. He shook his head at that, he knew that could be a mess, it could create a scene. Javier crossed that off the list, he thought of just calling, he let that idea go too. As he crouched down to tighten his dress shoes his eyes caught a glimpse of the dusty space below his dresser, a white border poking out into view.

Javier leaned forward and pulled the thing out from under his dresser. There Andrea is, her hair long and braided, her classic teal bike to her left. To her right is Javi with his arm slung over her shoulders. With a sting in his eye and heart beating in his throat, Javier ran all the way to her, to Andrea. 

So without warning to Lorraine, Javier lays it all out. 

“You can't go to homecoming.” 

Andrea rolls her eyes, “Javi I’m tired of this weird protector complex you’ve developed, but I’m fifteen now I-”

“I won't let you go because that douchebag is being paid to take you, being paid double if he kisses you and triple if he fucks you.” He says it so rushed, just to get her to zip it. He saves Andrea in a sense, she was ready to spill some cliche lines that will have her cringing in t-minus six hours. The urgency was useful only in that facet, because then it hist Andrea all at once. Her eyes fall to the floor, heart dancing in her chest. How could I have been so blind. She knew of the senior bucket list, she knew, yet–

“Oh.” Her eyes screw shut for a moment, really hoping this was a dream. My god was she humiliated. She bought a dress, taped magazine clippings, painted her nails, kissed her hand and pushed Javier away for nothing. For someone to plan to use her for a checkmark on a list, she felt like a total idiot. Javi must think I look so stupid, Andrea thinks. Here in the middle of her room practicing kissing in an over priced dress. And despite her efforts to prove to Javi that she is in fact mature and strong and no longer in need of acceptance, her chin begins to quiver in the same way it did when she was just a kid. Her eyes blurry, she doesn’t even realize Javier is walking over to her with a soft pleading voice. Makeup ruined already, his hand grips her shoulder and instinctively she reaches out to grip his wrist. He’s frantically trying to get her stop crying but she just felt so embarrassed, crying is the only thing distracting from that pain in her chest. He’s whispering promises, 

Andrea please stop crying

I’ll stay here or-or we can go together 

We can stay in—watch something

We can egg his car—please stop crying. 

Shaking her head, her fingers dig into his wrist and he takes it as a sign to gather her up. Pulling Andrea into his chest, she knows her mascara tears must be staining his tux yet he couldn’t seem to care. The ache in his own chest settling the second he flattens a hand on the back of her head. Cheek resting on the top of her head. Andrea leans her entire body weight into the embrace, absolutely exhausted of being the joke, of being a pawn. Tired of being behind and naive. Javier tucks her head below his chin, resting on the top of her head. And oh boy is he in trouble because he hadn't thought of Lorraine, not even once. 

Despite the circles she’s talked herself into about her need to be self reliant—god did it feel good to just be hugged. 

With a squeeze to Andrea’s hip she pulls back, her eyes in all their raccoon glory, somehow she was still so beautiful. "Let’s go downstairs and watch something. Then we can flip through the yellow pages and sign the bastard up for the most incessant and embarrassing subscription with his home phone. How does Cat Scratch sex line sound?” Javier suggests. Just there, she feels it again, Am I too young to feel this much?

Through tears and smudged makeup, her lips quirk at its corners. 

“Okay.”

Christmas 1979

Christmas at the Diaz house wasn’t actually so bad. On the eve of christmas Melissa sets out all of the presents she’s bought her kids, then in the corner of her room lays a second pile of gifts for the people of Laredo that she’s made her family. Then she dresses her children, yes, even at their old age, in outfits she bought. The three take a drive to their church’s party and it goes the same way each year. The Smithfield’s lead a prayer, they play their mix of american christmas classics and spanish ones, then they regret serving alcohol at their christmas party. 

Two days before the party half of their christmas lights fall and in a fit of anger Melissa calls over Chucho to bring his latter and fix the damn thing. It must be genetic because when the Diaz women call, the Peña men come running. To Andrea’s surprise Javier shows up with his father. The group of friends watch the disaster that is Melissa Diaz with Holiday anxiety. 

Melissa stands at the foot of a ladder while Chucho puts up her lights. “A la derecha!” She yells from below, Frankie, Javier and Andrea sit on the lawn watching in amusement. It was chillier, a low fifty, it became Andreas' excuse to wear her lacrosse sweatshirt. Her brother and Javier joke about something that happened in school, something she didn’t witness. So she picks at the grass surrounding her and looks off at the two geezers arguing with each other in Spanish. Nat King Cole and Celia Cruz blasting from inside their house, windows open and in the December sunset their christmas tree twinkles beyond the window. 

Andrea decides maybe she likes Christmas with her family, with this family. 

She decides to take that statement back when her mother forces her to run the boutique from opening till closing on Christmas eve. Andrea stands behind the cash register wearing a headband with twirly attachments that jingled with each slight movement. If she hears happy holidays one more time she’ll kill Santa Claus herself. So it’s safe to say that when she locks up shop with a daily sale of five thousand dollars, she couldn’t be bothered with seeing half of Laredo in the church basement. 

Somehow Andrea finds herself in a stockings and a puffy green dress. She is half asleep by the time she spots the black leather couch at the farthest corner of the large basement. The basement of Los Tres Reyes church was the home of many parties. Many that could be considered non-fitting for a church but to most it was simply just a venue. Considering Lorraine’s father was the english mass pastor and his daughter was the most admired girl at the school, Mr. Smithfield held the Laredo Christmas party-invite only. Contrary to most parties at Los Tres Reyes, the Smithfield Christmas extravaganza (nice dresses and day drinking) was exclusive in Laredo terms. 

Lorraine was suited in the prettiest outfit in the room. Too fashionable for this town, plaid flared pants and a cashmere turtleneck. Andrea wants to groan at the silly dress her mom forced her into… and she was so tired. The party began to fill with the most prestigious faces of town, mostly store owners and Lorraine’s friends. Flashes fake smiles at each wave and struggling to stay awake the second she sits down. The familiar crunch of the couch with the sound of the tool of her skirt created a new strange ear splitting sound that has Andrea cringing. Legs crossed she wondered how many feet of tinsel they used for the ceiling. 

Fleshy nylon rubbing together with each leg-crossed readjustment. God she wished she had a magazine or something to not look so socially awkward in a setting like this. Deep inside Andrea was praying for Monica or Liandra to show up and save the day. She knew Javier was on his way, she knew she couldn’t bear the sight of the couple, especially how romantic it is to spend Christmas with your girlfriend’s family. Frankie was talking off Genie’s dad’s ear while nursing a beer. 

With the Ronetts playing on speaker and the bustling chatter, Andrea finds it awfully easy to drift off. Head falling back against the rest of the sofa. 

“My god she’s really sleeping.” Melissa whispers to Chucho about nearly four hours into the party. Eleven pm, nearly Christmas day. “Señor dame fuerza…” Her head falls into her hands while Chucho watches Andreas' fully laid out body in amusement. Her flats fully kicked off and her cheek squished to the leather. 

The Peñas arrive quite late to the party. Lorraine dragged Javier to the church bathroom to scold him for embarrassing her. He kissed her hoping it’ll soften her up but she slapped his arm instead. “Don’t be mad please.” He pleads as she opens the restroom door. Lorraine looks over her shoulder with a frown. 

With a snapping attitude and sarcasm, “Nice sweater.” 

Javier looks down at the thing, his face softening at the sight of his own sweater that his uncle knitted himself. It’s a thick gray cable knit sweater. For a moment Javier wonders why he lets these things slide from Lorraine, just a few weeks before he nearly broke it off after her intrusive suggestion on how to get over his mothers absence. 

Javi decides he’ll just drink tonight. 

With his hands shoved in his nice jeans, the pants Chucho bought two years ago for him to be forced into every holiday. His keys in his back pocket jangling as he walks down the stairs to a slowly dying party as the night closes. The lights around twinkling and the smell of clove and cinnamon filling his nose. He passes two girls in Lorraine’s friend group, Hilda and Diana. “Do you think she’s drunk?”

“I don’t know, but it’s tragic.” Hilda giggles, sipping her beer. Both their eyes planted on Andrea, in all her Christmas tree glory. Surrounded by her large green dress, socked feet curled and the most peaceful face he’s ever seen. His brows knit together, it was unlike her to fall asleep in a place like this. He shoots a glare over at the two girls and walks straight past them, straight to her. He grabs a cracker crown from one of the tables. Ignoring Lorraine’s call as he makes his way next to Andrea.

For a moment he feels watched, a bit insecure as he surveys the room as people pretend to not stare at the two. He frowns before wrapping his hand around her ankle and shaking her awake. She stirs slightly but just furthers herself into comfortability. He drops his head in an endearing smile. “Andrea.” He calls to her and she jolts at the sound of his voice.

Her smooth nylon clad feet brushing over his lap, causing a flip in his stomach. Something stranger happens in his christmas jeans.  “Oh!” She chirped, wiping her mouth clean of drool. “Javi!” 

“Andrea.” He laughs moving her small feet from his lap. Leaning forward and placing the gold crown on her disheveled hair. She giggles slightly, and blinks her eyes into full awareness. 

“Did I really fall asleep? What time is it?” She flattens her shimmery skirt. He just knows Melissa picked out the dress. He remembers the second summer they spent together, when her style changed completely. He knew she got her mother to back off on the kids catalogs, it seemed she still held higher ground when it came to christmas attire. Despite the forest pooling her body, to him she might have been the prettiest girl in the room, he should ask Santa Claus for a smack upside his head because the selfish thought came quickly and stuck like glue. Her shimmering eyes glance at the clock, fifteen to twelve. “Jesus!” She slaps her hand over her mouth at the decision to call the man out on his name, on his birthday and in a church. “I slept for so long.”

Javier chuckles a hearty laugh, “Yeah, decided to save you some embarrassment, you got quite comfortable.” His eyes fall to her feet. She burns mistletoe bow red and shoves them back into her flats. Still sitting up straight tenser than ever, and it aches his chest. He had her over just a week before, they joked around together in his house over dinner–he invited her to New Years at the bar. Two months before that the two sat awfully close on her couch watching Star Wars: A New Hope and signing up her one time homecoming date to awfully embarrassing subscriptions, using different personas and voices on the phone. Yet here, under everyone's surveillance she sat uptight and all frowning like she was afraid of being under the gaze of others. That drove him a bit crazy, she was his best friend too, hadn't she known?

Silence falls between them for a moment as he nurses his beer and she looks off, her mind running wild.

“You treat me differently when it’s not summer.” He blurts, bringing his drink to his lips. He knows why, he knows deep inside. Their summers together were organic, devoid of outside influences. She could just exist as Andrea, his Andrea. In summer she could just fall asleep on a couch and not have to worry about judging eyes. She could crush on Javier without guilt and restraint. He could call her pretty and not feel like the entire world is watching, prepared to scrutinize him. It was warm, it was easy to be close to one another, easy to ignore what others felt about them. Summers were just for them. It stirred something devastating in the cavity of his chest at the sight of her in a sweaty dress, with her hair done up and perfect posture. It wasn't her, it wasn't like her to be so afraid of him. 

Her lips quirk in a polite fake smile, as her eyes survey the room. She’s extremely aware of the eyes on the two of them. Javier’s jaw clenched at the sight of Andrea of all people being fake to him. She clears her throat like he asked her a scandalous question. Then she turns to him all at once and he swears under her makeup he sees a hint of the freckles that deepen under the Texas sun, and her features fall all sincere, like he’s the only person in the room. 

And she whispers, “Well maybe I don’t know how to be your friend in the winter.” Her eyes drop and her forehead forms that tiny crease of worry between painted brows. Javier’s stomach pits and maybe the holidays made him feel sentimental, maybe he’s afraid that being in the same school will somehow create a wedge in something he cherishes so deeply, maybe he feels like strangely time is running out. Perhaps he regrets meeting Lorraine at this time. It’s something about being surrounded by love, warmth and home cooked meals. Something about the sounds of chimes, organs and jingle bells in the music filling the air. Something about spending Christmas eve next to Andrea Diaz, something about not being able to kiss her under the mistletoe. Maybe because it actually snowed in Texas this Christmas, small flurries that didn’t stick–but snow nonetheless. He’s never had the urge to before but her, in front of him, at this time, with those eyes–he wonders what he’s doing wrong. 

With his heart in his throat he can only muster out one thing. 

“Merry Christmas.”

Christmas 1980-85

Houston isn't home. The holidays become a brain splitting headache he ignores for years to come. He's no longer seventeen. He had one holiday with her, and it wasn’t really with her, yet he can't imagine having one without her.

What a scary feeling.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Hetalia Mating Season: Demon King England

Alright how this series is going to go is that I will be making these short stories and not do multiple parts. Because if I did that I’d never be able to get to the Golden Nightingale this year. I know I’ll do all the mains plus Spain. You can also just yell at me in the comments for others if I get a high enough interest in it. Anyways, here we go. 

Also this series will be done in Gender Neutral…..until the spicy part because I do have to get specific. So I separate the Male! and Fem! version of what goes on. I want all who want to read to be included and actually have fun. 

So yeah, that’s my bit here we go. 

Also I'm keenly aware of my skill in making male x reader content is lacking in the emotional and physical payoff. I'm working on that.

***********************N$FW AHEAD YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED************************

“All love songs have a hypnotic lure in them, you just need to pick the one that will make them want to take the bait.” 

Arthur was down in his lair studying the last 100 songs that you’d listened to in the last 90 days. You had tendencies to have certain songs play more than others. Now that he’s got enough intelligence to know which tune will catch you off guard. The spell that he’s crafted hijacks the temporal lobe that can override the rest of your brain signals. All he has to do is get the melody within range of your ears. 

“A simple enough task, to get my mate here with me. This is exciting and so much fun!” He begins to giggle like a schoolgirl that’s just recently seen their crush from afar. His short choppy hair had a charming frizz. His light, matte skin was lit by the light of his wand. He’d been moisturizing it so that he could look more enticing to his human lover.  He was neatly writing down the incantation for the amorous melody with a feather quill. He admired the neat writing that decorated the paper. It had taken him hours to perfect his spell. He practiced on a few gnomes, ogres, and fairies to see if he’s had success in being able to rewire their brains to become reactive to the music he played that suited their personalities. It was successful for the most part with a few minor hiccups. His spell would become faulty if there was another melody in the distance playing or if he himself is not entirely concentrated while he performs the spell it could be broken depending on the victim's concentration. 

It would be hard for you or any other human that could hear the enchanting melody to resist. Especially if England himself utters the melody and doesn’t simply use his fae familiars. 

Arthurs mind wanders off onto the day you met. There was a light downpour. It’s drops made light plops against his black umbrella. The way that you walked like a ballet dancer effortlessly dodging other pedestrians. This is where his initial attraction lay. You were so light on your feet that you were managing to escape from his vision. He knew he had to catch up. He knew he couldn’t let you escape. He flicked his umbrella into the air and disappeared behind it transforming himself into his demon form. He jumped on one of the nearby buildings so he could have a better view of where you’d run off it. You acted as if you were the white rabbit that was very late for an important date. 

Once he saw that familiar red beanie that you kept a top of your messy locks it was easy for him to keep track of you. He went to lower buildings so he could keep you in his vantage point. Once you went inside that gift shop that was situated on King’s Road. He shifted to his incognito mode so he could observe from afar for a while. He watched as you apologized for the delay and that you’d be ready to open in 10 minutes. The small crowd that was at the shop had a compact but cute entrance. He saw how swiftly you zoomed around the shop turning on the lights and quickly sprucing the palace up two of the people who were in the crowd were your associates. 

The fairy lights and lamps lit up your fantastic brick-and-stone shop. All the cute knick nacks of union jack adorned goods, unique wood carvings shaped like men, monsters, and other dimensional beings. Streamers of luminescent pastel lights give the place more of a magical forest-like feel. 

“Alright everyone! Thank you for your patience [Last Name] Timeless Gifts is open!”

Some of the crowd began to clap in excitement. Your store was extremely popular on Instagram and a few other platforms. It was one of the new reasons the latest flux of tourists came to London. They wanted to get some of the latest charming gifts that were from around the world and from all  of the artists in the U.K. The queue drained into the store eager to get pictures and gifts. 

Arthur shifted his shape to look less attractive; he didn't need attention. He’d need stealth. He wandered over to the famous little gift store. He loved the way that your energy was always on high when you spoke to your customers. You were evicted about the thing you go to do every day. You were in the middle of showcasing some of the crafts you’d made. You were beaming with pride at the results you were able to make for your efforts. Your energy was different from most humans that he’d ever encountered. The energy that floated off of you was like small sunbeams that were meant to heal any soul that was overcast with dark rain clouds. 

He was eager to know more about you from that day forward. He summoned seven faries to keep watch over you and all of your daily activities. They were to have a nightly session to discuss any new developments. After a few months of surveillance and his occasional visits in his modified form he decided that it was finally time to approach you and use his intelligence to woo you. He had to calm himself beforehand his heart was racing like it was trying to make it’s way to the ball. How exciting that he can finally put his devious plan into action. 

He will come in about a half hour before closing for ‘bridge’ time. He will take a gander at the sizable book collection that sat in the center of your store. It had more of the gag book gifts that one would give as a fun last minute stalking stuffer, or for a bachelor(ette), or for a light hearted office prank. Regardless it was a great way for him to think of a way to spark up a conversation with you. Since he knew that humor was one of your forte. You really knew how to illuminate a room with your charming charisma. It was one of the many things that he fell in love with in the months of observing you.

“Excuse me Y/N I love the ambiance that you have brewing here. Is that Earl Gray  that is brewing for the scared hour?” He has a charming smile that graces his face and his emerald eyes sparkle with excitement but you could tell they were holding back some other emotions. But you paid it no mind after all. All of your customers who came in had different stories and opinions to offer all of which brought in new life to your store. 

“Of course, up in the atrium I believe we have room for one more to join us for afternoon tea. Care to join for a small fee of £10.” 

“Sign me up it sounds like a jolly good time.” Not even holding back the gigantic smile that now adorned his face. It was like he was living in a daydream. Through the course of tea time he sat right next to you and stole all of your attention from your other guests who only maybe got in a question or two about how long you’d had the shop or how you got into your craft. Arthur was always able to smoothly interject in something that he knew would pique your interest. 

“Oh yes I remember that bakery that is just out of the way on Piccadilly Circus. It has the Sticky Toffee Pudding that is to die for. If you haven’t tired then maybe we can go sometime.” He made mental notes of where he’d ask you out on a date. He had plans A-J worked out in his head and he was ready to deploy his tactics. He took winning you over as seriously as he did when he wanted to conquer more lands within the underworld. 

You give him a smile that touches his cold heart and ignites it with a match. When your response was: 

“Sounds like fun maybe one a day when running this gift shop isn’t so crazy.” You give a thoughtful gaze to your planner that you had in front of you next to your delicate pale yellow tea cup. “Would next Thursday at three O’ Clock work for you?” 

The match had been thrown into the nest of hay twigs and firewood that was nestled in the pit of Arthur’s heart. The tiny flickers of fire spread through the brush to create the flames of desire for you. The way that you spoke, the way that you wrote, and the air of summer that surrounded you constantly even in the depths of winter made him realize that you were the perfect one for him to claim as his mate. 

“Sounds like a date.” You giggle and take a long swig of your tea, you had to attend to some of your other customers you requested your attention. You quickly jot down your number and give it to him. And as soon as you left to greet other customers, you for some reason felt a slender tail of sorts wrap around your lower leg. The feeling didn’t linger for long and you assumed it was your imagination after all. You had been up for 48 hours straight since the holiday season that started next month in November was about to begin . You were already beginning to become back up with national and international orders. You were bound to make big profits all around. Soon you’d be able to own your own home and start some of those other dreams you had in mind. 

Arthur however was still not satisfied. He wanted to have your undifivied attention and be able to drive himself into you in peace. He wanted to capture his sunshine and hide you away for your attention was too pure for others anyway. He gritted his teeth and sucked in a breath.

“At least they said yes.” 

“Alright you two, I'll check in with you tomorrow at 11am. Make sure you lock up properly and put the new inventory away.” You bid your small team good-bye for the day. You were eager to get to your date. The posh British man had an electrifying energy that drew you in like a moth to an open flame amidst the blackness of the midnight sky. One where there were there were no stars or moon to act as guides. You’d be susceptible to his trap. 

“Hello, love. You look great!” He grabs your hand and places a gentle kiss on your bare hand. The kiss sends lighting bolts up your veins. It was like getting hit with 500 mg of caffeine at once. You were awake now and he had your undivided attention. 

“Thank you. You as well.” Red appeared on your cheeks like bright fairy dust. 

‘The face fitting for a demon royal. I just want to get in with it. It’s getting hard holding back my urges.’ 

“Let’s go and get ready for tea time at the Bluebell Pastry Palace. The scones should be getting ready to come out of the cobblestone oven and their tea has been shipped from Japan and India. The best chai and the best matcha too. It will be quite good time.” Not even attempting to hide his happiness. He can’t help but be charmed by you. Every lingering glance you gave him and gazed into his eyes added extra logs to the burning fire in his heart. You reach for his hand and your hands interlock. You wandered through the somewhat crowded streets. The union jack was laced throughout the streets while there was a light breeze with tufts of fog that whipped through your hair. You felt like you were entering into a hazy dream of sorts heavy with meaning. You felt like there were sparkles of red that hit your body. Was that a faint melody that you could hear? Familiar was how it felt, but it also held a great deal of mystery to it. 

“Hey Y/N are you alright were here! You look as though you may have seen a troll or a fairy just wander just out of your view.” He teases with a toothy smile that makes your heart jump a little. 

“Yeah, I’m all fine. I get lost amidst my thoughts on occasion.” 

Once you were seated at a window table that was adorned with red roses, pastel pink  tulips, ruby carnations, purple orchids, and vermilion peonies. The scene laid out before you looked like a fancy fairytale daydream. The greenery that surrounded the elegant flowers curled out like long strands of silky streamers that were sewn by a fairy godmother prepping for a ball. You felt like every moment that you spent with Arthur felt like you were being pulled deeper into a lucid dream one which you did not want to be awakened from. 

When I saw you over there I wasn’t sure

Now I’m feeling something I haven’t before

Your (eye color) float back over to his forest green eyes. They put you in the center of his pupils that were like microportals. 

“Your thoughts wander to where Y/N?” Did his voice sound a little more hypnotic and enticing? 

“Toooo….” Your mind really couldn’t think of an answer. 

Look at us so distant now skin to skin 

Your concentration was disappearing and all you wanted to do was concsntrate on the song that was faintly playing in your ears. It sounded fun, it sounded lively, it was surreal. Arthur hadn’t let go of your hands since the two of you had wandered in from the misty London streets. That magical lighting shock that you first felt when first encountered him. There was something more to him that you couldn’t really pin down. 

If you keep this up I’ll let you in. 

You vision began to fade in and out. The spell that Arthur had perfected was beginning to take effect on you. Its talons had made its way into your mind. It felt like being a mix of high and drunk at the sametime with the melody of the song becoming clearer in your mind. You body felt fully relaxed. You were fine. You looked into Arthur’s pools of verdant green, becoming you to take a dive and take a swim. 

Yeah you, almost make me fall in love 

Yeah yooooooou, got me hypnotized under your spell.

Arthur’s grin was much larger than that of the Cheshire cats by now. He was beginning to break out in a cold sweat of sorts. He wasn’t going to be able to hold back for much longer. 

Your eyes are glazing over with smoky clouds of confusion and being in a heavy daze. No doubt the song had hooked you in and was dragging you out to the wider seas. Where there would be nothing to stand between you and him. You’d been met with the Leviathan of the seven seas, who sprung up from hell during the first mating call of spring. 

“What sort of tea will you be ordering, love? I’m going to stick with my usual at this time: Earl Grey.” 

For a moment you seemed to snap out of the trance you’d been under but you still felt the weight of something baring down on your soul. You were in the middle of the sea. Where the waves still rocked your tiny boat of consciousness recklessly. You pick [insert choice] along with your favorite dessert of the moment, Madeira Cake, which had been sweetened with sweet white wine and had hints of lavender. It seemed to be the tastiest treat. 

Arthur’s hands had made themselves once again interlocked with yours once you gave your order to the waitress. 

“I’ll be right back dears, with the tea!” She said cheerfully as she went on her way. 

“A lavender cake of sorts that’s not a bad idea Y/N so. Tell me more about you and what brought you to London and about how you established your store.” He looked at you intently with a glint that had appeared in his eyes. Was… was that a look of hunger? You quietly mused to yourself. 

‘It’s a first date. I’m overthinking this.’ You give him a girn and tell him about the origins of your store. 

“Yes, I’d always wanted to not work myself to death at a boring office job and I loved to learn about new crafts like miniature wood works  and making small musical boxes. There's just something so spectacular about being able to craft a miniature world to tell a story.” You yawn for some reason. 

When I get you closer to my body. 

Wanna feel your hands all over me! 

For a moment you thought all that existed was just you and Arthur and his gloved hands that had a strong hold on yours. Your lips had just turned upwards. You were in a state of ignorant bliss. It felt like there was a thin tail that had made its way around your lower calf. You paid no real mind to it though because whatever Arthur was going on about you were into it right? 

Gotta make ‘em jealous everybody

Cause you know we got it 

Chemistry! 

“Here are your tea, dears! Enjoy. I’ll be back in a few with the fresh scones and cake!” The cheerful waitress only momentarily disrupts the daze you were in. You didn’t care though; your mind was on another planet, relaxed by the floral scent of the tea and from the windowsill. You also began to see small orbs of light form around Arthur’s blemish-free face illuminating it like Christmas lights decorating a tree. The orbs all lingered around his ear and you were unaware that he was trying to ask you something until you hear his voice say your name like it was disembodied. 

“Y/N , love, aren't you going to try your tea? You wouldn’t want it to get cold.” He flashes a toothy grin right before he takes a sip of his own cup. He shifts a little in his seat, it was becoming troublesome to keep his hardened cock at bay. 

‘Just a minute or two  more and I’ll be okay.’ 

You agree and momentarily stare at the cherry red porcelain cup that had apples adorn the face of it with a matching red saucer. You saw a pink orb linger on your cup for a few seconds before it playfully wandered away. The smell of lavender wafted off your selected tea, you found it somewhat odd and thought the aroma from the cake just had you mistaken. You simply smiled and let your eyes wander off to a bright pastel corner of the store where the orbs were no longer in your vision. But your awareness was decreasing rapidly. The only thing you were aware of was…

‘Did Arthur always have sharp teeth like that?’ Before the next thing you knew the feeling of the tail became much more real than ever before. The flowers and sunshine had vanished from your vision only to be engulfed by the blackness of hell and the song that played in your head was on full attack now. You could hear it ringing in your ears after new earbuds had been placed there. 

The sensation of the tail playing with your nether regions. It felt good and that was all that mattered to you at that moment. Your mind has been muddled with a plethora of different concoctions to keep you calm. It wasn’t long before you didn’t really remember what happened on the rest of your date, but the next thing you were aware of is that you were on a soft duvet with missing shoes. 

[Male Ending]

His tail wrapped around your clothed member tightly. You let out a gentle moan in surprise. 

“Y/N, this won’t hurt too much, but you will need to behave for your King. Understand love?” 

“Haaa okay, but like where is my tea and like where are we?” 

Arthur’s smirk perks up and he allows his tail to pick up speed and cause greater friction on the fabric and your dick. You bite down on your lip and let out a pleasure groan. Your body simply falls back onto the bed and you try to make sense of where you are but couldn’t. 

“We can also get some for the aftercare Y/N but for now let's have some fun~” He appears from his walk-in closet from the other side of the room. He decked out in his black lingerie . Most of his tall slender form is in place except for his protruding penis that stood straight out from his body. 

He could only hear you giggle. 

“What’s funny my love?” 

“Heh. Everything.” 

“Is that so?” He uses his large wings to glide right next to you lying limp on the bed. He ceased his movements on your member for now as he took a few more moments with the aid of the dimly lit fireplace. He grabbed the jacket off of you and ripped off your button-down shirt. The same went for your pants, leaving only your boxers and socks untouched. 

“Yeah, it feels. Nice.” A blush has made it’s way to your face. ‘Wait, what’s going on am I having some sort of lucid dreaming right now….?’ 

“Oh I know.” He grabs your cock tightly. “But this is about to feel even better.” Arthur licked his lips. You could feel claws now, but it still did not trigger panic within your consciousness at all. Still docile, but growing heat was beginning to bud towards the place that he was massaging, and it won’t be long before it also disappeared from your body. Arthur finally planted a kiss on your lips with a bit of force that knocked you back onto the dark duvet. His tail pulled one of your legs to the side so he could straddle you properly. 

In your vision, it felt like rose thorns forced your legs apart as more pressure to your third head continued to build. You felt as though your body had hit clear day clouds. You felt light touches of fairy wings grace your jawline for a few moments. A bite, however, snapped you from your daydream to bring you back to the present, where Arthur had bitten you. He left a  gash from his sharp teeth. While you hear some incantation of sorts mixed in with him stating your name as if it was….

A searing pain filled to the brim with desire hit you like a boulder that had fallen from the highest mountaintop. You could only let out a confused shriek unaware of if you should be turned on or terrified. The heat continued to swell in your member until Arther wrapped his mouth around your cock, licking up your pre-cum. His head bobbed up and down steadily so that you could become more acclimated to beginning in the underworld and not nearly as spaced out on his potion. The rubbing of his slender but tough hands massaged your calves and the backs of your thighs while his tongue managed to stroke the base of your member. You knew you were reaching your edge. 

“Ahhhh ~” 

Arthur slides his agile tongue along the underside of your cock once more before his mouth releases your dick with an audible *pop*. Seconds before you were about to climax. He swiftly grabs your penis and places his thumb over the tip, with the command: 

“Shout my name.” 

“Augh. What?” Just not getting knocked out of your high. 

“Shout my name, King Arthur ruler of Pride!” 

“kinG Ar… KING Arthur!” You shouted at the top of your lungs as you were finally allowed to climax. 

“Heh, that’s a good boy~” Now heres for the hard part. He spreads your legs wide and gives you no time to react to him shoving all of himself into you. Your mind was still blank and ravaged from releasing from Arthur’s harsh grip. All you could do was groan in pain. Your whole body is tense and grasp for the sheets for they were the only things that could stablize your reeling mind. All you could do was rock your hips along with his. The rhythm of Arthur’s cock moved your whole body like a punk song; fast tempo and distorted shifts with your legs in midair. 

“Ugh. nnnn.” Sleep paralysis like grip was all over your body. The only control you has was the use of your hands. Arthur playfully dragged his tongue along your ear and gripped your hair. The King was beginning to edge towards a climax. 

“Just a little more and you’ll be able to rest your head.” He puurs in your ear as he continues his rampage on your nether region. Arthur finally releases himself and rides out his orgasm. 

[The Aftercare part is at the bottom after the Fem Ending]

[Fem! Ending]

You still felt the presence of his tail on you. His now glowing ember orbs were the only things your eyes were able to see. Everything else was lost in a sea of red, orange, or black. Your mind was still adjusting to the new reality without being blindsided by Arthur’s original incantation that lulled you to him. When you felt it slithers closer to your entrance. Your body shifts away about an inch or two, but you did not manage to get far. 

“Oh, my dear that’s really cute. You can’t escape. It’s far too late.” A British voice calls from the warm black mass that called towards you. 

You grunt in response. Wondering where your voice had gone. It must have been pilfered by Satan's spawn that was resting himself on top of you. 

“Looks like my spell really did hinder you more than intended. Oh well, the first night will be easy… I just have to make my claim on you.” You felt a gentle kiss on your cheek. You whimper in response and not much else. You were still unsure about the reality that you were in were you having a lucid dream or was this some kind of nightmare. “I’ll make you feel okay Y/N, poppet.” You felt your clothes burn away leaving you with no other barrier to protect you from his hungry claws. He kisses you on your lips intently and wraps his tail fully around your waist. He’s waited for too long to have you. 

“Nnnn. nnnnn.” You try to move your arms a bit, but they feel just like when you’re trying to wake up from Sleep Paralysis except no matter how hard you moved none of your limbs would listen. You could feel the breath of Arthur’s cruel laugh as he made his way into the crook of your neck. 

“That won’t help. It’s best if you relax, poppet.” Seconds before he bites your right shoulder harshly and creates numerous hickeys all along your collarbone. Your breathing stayed heavy, and you simply let tears roll down your eyes. 

‘Holy shit this is actually real this is actually happening.’

A few minutes into the hickey session Arthur’s dick is poised at your entrance. He’s posied in full demon form in the nude. It was as if he was trying to showcase himself at a stallion show. He scoops you up and brings your legs to the edge of the bed and places them over his shoulders. Arthur bits his lip in excitement and anticipation. His tail wrapped around your tender flesh tighter. You knew by how much pressure was on your abdomen that you’d definitely have marks in the morning. He slams himself in, taking no regard for the pained yelp that left your lips. Your hips had to accommodate the sudden change quickly. 

“nnnAh!nnn.” You were trying to resist. 

Arthur no longer responded to any of your reactions. He was concentrated on continuing his bloodline here in hell. You could feel his nails being to leave long scratches on you. They began to draw small trails of blood; your first markings as the new Queen of Pride. The bed began to squeak loudly against your eardrums as Arthur moved his chiseled abs closer to your stomach closing the distance between the two of you. The lust that was thick in the air was making it harder for you to breathe and get a grip on the new reality you’d been thrown into. You clutched the sheets for it was the only thing you had to safety in that moment. 

Arthur went in deeper and pinned you closer to the bed. Confident that his cock was capable of keeping you in place. A dozen kisses were all across your chest. His hands interconnected with yours.  It felt like fireflies had now nested in those places and began to fly out from your chest. You felt your heart felt it speeding up while trying to calm down. 

‘No, NO!’ 

The bed was beginning shift from the sheer force coming from his hips. His head moved up once more to place one more hickey on your throat. He was savoring the moment. He was seconds away from the edge. His cock was ready to burst. His hands pratically make new gashes in your skin as he put his all into his final thrust. His lava like seed filling you to the brim until the sheets were soaked. 

“Y/N!!!!” He’d reached heaven practically. It took him five minutes or so to ride out his orgasm while you were still and your body did not react. It only felt the copious amount of fluids that were all over and sticky. 

[This is where the Endings Converge] 

“Ahh!” You let out a log elongated moan, your head was spinning and you felt disconnected to your body. You could no longer feel your lower half. It felt like it had disappeared. 

“Good job poppet.” He gently kisses you forehead not minding the sweat that rolled down your face as if you’d just hopped out of a hot shower. He loosened his tail and transformed into a lesser form that only showed his horns and his verdant green emeralds were back and shining brightly. They felt magical and warm like the orbs you’d seen back at the restaurant. 

“Let’s get you all cleaned up.” He lifts your body from the bed and takes you to the ornate bathroom that had ornate golden thorns in fields of blood red and velvet black Fritillaria painted on the walls. Pure warm water had been drawn into the dark jade green tub that had been crafted from marbel. “This may sting a bit, poppet. I did leave a lot of marking all over your legs. I’ll make sure to clean and bandage them.” You get low to the water until the immersive warm soapy bath englufs your soul. Arthur clings to you and holds you from behind. 

“Y/N?” Voice low and gruff it gripped your ears and your attention. 

“Yes…?” Not knowing what to expect but not wanting to make him upset. 

“Welcome to the Kingdom of Pride. I’ve chosen you as my new mate and my bride. But the first few nights will be rough for you because I will be filled with almost nothing but sex and I’m not going to be gentle.” 

You were shocked by that statement and you were still trying to come out of your spiked tea and the musical haze that he’d put you in. The consequences of which were just now were beginning to show because it felt like there was a jackhammer bagging at the side of your head. You wince in pain and lower your head. Arthur notices that your muscled tensed and moved toward your head. 

“Are you okay poppet?” 

“My head it feels like someone slammed it to the ground.”

“It’s alright my love. I have a healing spell for that.” He kisses the back of your hand and you could feel his tail brush past your legs again. “I know it’s all a lot but it will be fine. Being a Queen will be easy.”

Arthur will summon his spellbook and find the right incantation. He will fix you right up. He’ll let you rest for the night but you will have a rought morning since it’s the first thing that is on his mind once he become conscious again. This begins your new life as the new (Queen or King) of Pride. 

[nutcasewithaknife]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

Thank you @bbcphile @deepbluewithyellow @kingsandbastardz @potahun @seventh-fantasy @redemption-revenge and @heyyo-heyyo for tagging me! Sorry for y'all waiting for days, the procrastination demons got to me ;-;

3 ships you like: Oh dear. How do I pick only three!! Okay, here are some that have been on my mind the most these past few weeks.

Liansanjiao from Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Kinda obvious but I adore every side and the whole of this triangle.

Moshang from SVSSS. Ice Demon Lord and his pathetic hamster man. God and his most beloved blorbo. Fucking clowns. They have the range.

Chengqing from The Untamed !!! They are both so very alike and understand each other better than anyone else possibly could. They could have chosen each other, but never begrudge the other for not doing so either. I'm obsessed with how doomed they are in canon and how perfect they would've been if they'd ever gotten a chance.

First ship ever: Solangelo! I was a gay teen and this was my first gay ship and I went insane about them for a solid year.

Last song you heard: 天下 by Zhang Jie!! Been slightly obsessed with it since I heard it being performed at the MLC concert.

Favorite childhood book(s): Oh, there are so many. The first Percy Jackson series my beloved. The Ajaya dulogy, which is a retelling of the epic Mahabharata from the perspective of the Kauravas (conventionally the bad guys) and rewired my entire brain. ANNE OF GREEN GABLES!! Also was in love with the James Herriot books so much.

Currently reading: Finishing my Good Omens re-read! I also started Geetanjali Shree's रेत समाधि (Tomb of Sand), reading the original Hindi and the English Translation simultaneously! (Kind of an experiment. It has very short chapters, so I read each in Hindi and then in English before moving on to the next.)

Currently watching:

Dead Friend Forever - Thai slasher/murder mystery/psychological thriller/BL (airing weekly, one episode left!)

House MD - Medical Malpractice Georg my beloved (rewatching after a long, long time. Save me unhinged autistic man. save me.)

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna, Season 2 - JAPANESE LESBIANS FALLING IN LOVE OVER FOOD!!! I AM THRIVING

Currently consuming: Tea :)

Currently craving: The inspiration to write something absolutely devastating or utterly silly. Also a donut.

Tagging @fangdoubing @mx-myth @difeisheng @linacies @toppingjeffsatur @t4tadrienette @tejoxys @salamander89 @wuxia-vanlifer (no pressure ofc) and really anyone who wants to give it a go! Especially if you've spotted me lurking in your notes!!

[spurious]

Every other odd + 24 for the fanfic end of the year asks, please?

1 favorite fic you wrote this year

Yeeeeeah it's gotta be O I Think We Should Be Brethren. I think it's the best thing I've ever written like, at all, so?

5 most popular fic this year

Twenty Questions is at the top by kudos, bookmarks, and comment threads, so let’s go with that!

9 longest wip of the year Live Oak #5 clocking in at ~22k right now!

13 favorite writing song/artist/album of this year The Mountain Goats have had me in a STRANGLEHOLD.

17 fics you’ll continue next year Live Oak series!!! Maybe I'll even finish it because by god I am not letting the rest of the entries spiral out of control the way 4 and 5 did/are lmao

21 most memorable comment/review

I got a comment that included the phrase “fuck you and I mean that as worship at a temple” which has not left my mind since reading it

24 favorite fic you read this year/25 a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

oh my GOD how could you ask me to pick a favorite??????? i read a LOT this year and I am abysmal at picking faves. Also I'm gonna combine this with 25 as well.

Written by the Victors by @cesperanza look. I know this is like the most absolute "gimme" of a fic rec for this fandom; I had heard about it even when I wasn't in SGA fandom at all, but. I went into it skeptical because often "fandom classics" can be a bit bland in their mass appeal, and......I was utterly blown the fuck away. read this. let it rewire your brain.

Holy Rivers by @alienfuckeronmain A masterful entry in the genre of "John Goes Nuts in San Francisco" fic, with the twist that John is noticeably absent from most of the narrative, and exists as this space in Rodney's head. The way this fic spools out the extreme denial in which he's operating is absolutely beautiful.

The Hard Prayer by Rheanna I recently reread this one and was just floored, again, by how good it is. The way it takes the John and Rodney that we know and just tweaks them in the way that this situation would, and then uses that to explore the slow, so slow unfurling of trust between them? Beautiful. Absolutely love it.

29 shortest fic you read this year

I read many short fics this year! This is the shortest one I have bookmarked:

I Do by cathalin Rodney’s not been liked by very many people, and John – John hasn’t been known by many.

[johaerys-writes]

I ADORE your writing! Do you have any book recs? 💗

THANK YOU!!! I do have some book recs, and I'm going to separate them in two categories: a) all time faves (aka books that rewired my brain), and b) my fave books I read this year.

All Time Faves

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller: if you follow me for my patrochilles writing, then you already know I love this book 😅 It literally altered my brain chemistry when I read it and I have never been the same.

RotE: short for The Realm of the Elderlings series by Robin Hobb, it's like 16 books long and I recommend each one. Fitz is my pathetic little meow meow and the Fool is one of my favourite characters of all time. Read at your own peril LOL

Earthsea and Lavinia by Ursula K Le Guin: I'm on a quest to read everything Le Guin has written because her writing is just *chef's kiss*. I adore her prose and the way climaxes and conflict are handled, and I love the worldbuilding. Her Earthsea stories are just so wonderful and poignant, I particularly love the Tombs of Atuan and Tehanu. The latter is permanently on my reread roster, I read it once a year towards the end of the year when I start feeling blue because it's just so comforting. And I have to include my favourite quote:

"You are beautiful," Tenar said in a different tone. "Listen to me, Therru. Come here. You have scars, ugly scars, because an ugly, evil thing was done to you. People see the scars. But they see you, too, and you aren't the scars. You aren't ugly. You aren't evil. You are Therru, and beautiful. You are Therru who can work, and walk, and run, and dance, beautifully, in a red dress."

Please read it you won't regret it 😭🙏🙏

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte: another long time favourite and one I reread at least once a year. It’s just one of the best books ever written (sorry I don't make the rules). I'm not sure if that is where my love of childhood friends to toxic, copedepent lovers and of unhinged, violent men in fiction came from but it sure contributed to it LMAO. I don’t consider it a romance book but I do adore the way it handles love and romance, among other things. It's just so bleak and cynical but also highly comedic in places and I could talk about it forever. TL;DR please read it haha.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong: I didn’t like this book very much when I first started it but it had become a favourite by the time I finished it. I've reread it several times (I think just this year I've read it twice), it's just so heartbreaking and beautiful.

Fave books I read this year:

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat: technically I finished the trilogy end of last year but I still think about it a lot. It's very well written and imo the perfect balance of angst, plot, intrigue and horniness.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik: I read it earlier this year and I literally can't stop thinking about it lol. It’s SO well written and very immersive and even though the plot itself isn't like... comforting, it felt like a great comfort to read it. Ever since I finished it, every time I start a new book I'm like "gah I wish I could read it for the first time again" haha. I'm going to be rereading it for Christmas I think!

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells: another series I enjoyed a lot this year! I listened to the audiobooks and the VA is just so good, he's Murderbot in my mind lol. I should probably reread the last few books because my attention span was awful while I was listening to them, but overall they're very entertaining but also touch upon important issues in a really interesting way.

She Who Became The Sun by Shelly Parker-Chan: I really enjoyed this book, the plot, characters and worldbuilding was very interesting and I absolutely love the way that gender queerness and "otherness" was explored. I am eagerly awaiting the next book 👀

Villains series by V.E. Schwab: a highly entertaining read, I was pleasantly surpised by how much I enjoyed this. I love me a close friends to sworn enemies story, especially when they are obsessed with each other in as homosexual a way as these two LMAO. The supporting characters were also very well written which isn't easy to find in stories with such a busy cast. Once again, eagerly awaiting the next book!

[the-lightless-flame]

I am curious, what is Dolls of new albion? I am intrigued

OH HI

the dolls of new albion is a steampunk-inspired opera. it is amazing i listened to it this afternoon and it has rewired my brain

it is split into four acts, the first following annabel mcalistair, who- because of an extremely unhealthy obsession- brings a guy called jasper back from the dead, putting him in the body of a doll.

although she eventually realises that this was not a good thing (dead people do not like being put in doll bodies and they really do not like being brought back from the afterlife), the rest of the acts follow her ancestors as the city of new albion is changed dramatically several times as a result of the dolls, starting with annabel's son discovering and recreating her work, then continuing on as each ancestor is extremely Not Normal about jasper in their own unique ways.

its got really interesting themes of objectification, repeating cycles, and the difference between how we view something and how it truly is.

the characters are all little bastards and i love them each one of them

there are a few recordings of perfomances online (including one with tim meredith. as in gunpowder tim the mechanisms. playing annabel's son edgar), or bc its an opera (no dialogue only songs) u could just listen to the album. its less than an hour and a half, so a fairly short watch/listen time

its the first of a tetraology of operas about new albion. i have not listened to the others yet but i know they will only make me less normal

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Hi Alyssa!

Question for you— What is one of your favorite pieces of media (tv show/movie/book/album/etc) outside the Pedro-verse? And why do you love it?

Hi Kat! 🙋🏻‍♀️ I hope you’re having a great weekend! Thanks for swinging by, this is a fun question!!

And I’m actually going to answer it with two pairs of non-Pedro media, because why not? Also because whenever someone asks me what my favorite anything is, either A) everything I’ve ever enjoyed leaves my brain in that moment and I freeze and say something like “potato 👍🏻” or B) everything I’ve ever enjoyed rushes in all at once demanding to be chosen. It was the latter this time, so I’ve whittled it to two things. Really 4 because pairs. So I haven’t really whittled much, have I? Oh well.

Pair #1: Station Eleven by Emily St. John-Mandel & Station Eleven, the HBO limited series

This story - both versions of it - rewired my brain and left indelible marks on my heart. I say both versions, because the show differs quite a bit from the book, but in ways that are just as right and good and satisfying and that truly define the word “adaptation”. The show is not at all a 1:1 of the book. But it’s so extremely clear that these are the same characters and this is the same world and I think it was just really beautifully brought to life in both mediums.

It’s an apocalypse story that focuses on a group of people who never get face time in apocalypse stories: the creatives. Writers and actors and artists and musicians. It’s about family - the ones we choose and the ones were born into. It’s about life and love and the reasons we find for carrying on. It’s about getting to what’s important and holding onto it. And it’s full of some of the most beautiful and chilling lines/visuals I’ve ever experienced.

“Hell is the absence of the people you long for” and “To the monsters, we’re the monsters” and “What was lost in the collapse: almost everything, almost everyone, but there is still such beauty” and the entire “I remember damage”/text of Miranda’s graphic novel will live rent free in my head for life.

Bonus? If you’re absolutely heartbroken and soul sick over Joel & Ellie and the world of TLOU in general, you’ll find a balm in show version Kirsten & Jeevan. (It’s also a good apocalypse story for anyone who doesn’t like gore and/or zombies - the “event” in this one sweeps through very fast and doesn’t leave any mutant humanoid freaks behind 👍🏻)

Watch it, read it, read it, watch it - there’s no wrong order, just dive in.

Pair #2: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful & The Odyssey by Florence + the Machine.

My favorite album from my favorite musician along with the short film created from the music videos. HBx3 is immaculate. The lyric in my header actually comes from one of the songs on it - St. Jude. Even the bonus tracks are pure gold. Caught, Make Up Your Mind & Mother are my favorites.

And The Odyssey scratches my brain’s itch for visuals in a super satisfying way. As someone who lived for TRL and Pop Up Video, I love me a good music video, and with this it’s just one after the other all excellently strung together. And it’s so dramatic. Like soooooo extra. 🖤

Thanks again for sending this in, lovely!! Surprise asks are always fun and welcome!! ☺️

[anaalnathrakhs]

👄,🌷,🧑‍🏫,🎬 for the fic ask game :))))

ooooh thaat's a lot :DDD

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing?

oh god.... assuming my otp is marlee, cuz that what i put in the bingo game, as much as i'm a multishipper............... hmmm......

Tomorrow is the End of the World by Steel Panter

Mick would hate it but that's a plot I can definitely see happening. Plus the Steel Panther fic abt it is like, really good.

🌷What’s one of your fics that isn’t as popular, but you hold dear?

trick question none of my fics are popular

uhhh my least popular one is probably uhhh a Formula 51 het ficlet in french, which is. so unpredictable really. but i still like it i like the vibe i was going for in there.

but i didn't expect anyone to read it lmao so... probably Silky Sweet, because i thought it was really cute and it really does come from a place of love and massive author appeal, but crossdressing fics are divisive and it was INCREDIBLY ill-timed coming out the day after Mick's retirement announcement. so.

🧑‍🏫 i assume is 👩‍🎓 sorry if I'm wrong

👩‍🎓 Do you have an ‘official’ creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

Nope. I was teeeechnically published once as a kid, and I work/help out in the publishing house my dad works for (niche side hustle thing for bored academics, to be clear, I'm not in Hachette Inc. or something). It would be awesome to have some experience in some kind of short story journal or smth, but I'm nowhere near the level of discipline and method I'd need for that.

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on?

PONYKLOK

Listen. I had fun trying to translate the cartoony style of both shows into prose. I don't think I perfectly nailed it, and it was hellish. It was also a blast and great practice. I was reading Pyramids by Terry Pratchett at the time, and it was a great inspiration and technical manual for writing visual gags. It was awesome dissecting what made these shows, which I love with all my heart, function the way they do, and work on mixing it together into a cohesive piece.

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY, MUCH LIKE PINOCCHIO WANTS TO BE A REAL BOY, I WANT IT TO BE A REAL CARTOON

I want a stupid youtube fananimation of it like, yesterday. Twelve years ago. I need one stupid talented animator doing that as a hobby, and to watch it at age eleven to experience my brain matter being rewired. I wrote it because it was sorely missing from my life.

If it HAS to be TV, I want to see adult swim's take on it. That one drawing of Nathan Riding a G3 pony in Fanklok is EXACTLY the vibe I'd want. I love both shows and I think for me to like the crossover it'd need to come from a place of love for BOTH shows, not just the fun of shitting on a pony corpse bc we're on adult swim and we can say piss shit fuck, but yknow. Whatever. I want to trust that Brandon Small can understand the hilarious potential of treating the magic ponies with as much tact as the more serious plot elements of Metalocalypse.

thank you for askingggg <3333333

[humblemediagenius]

Top 5 albums? -☀

YESS NOW THIS IS AN ASK I CAN GET BEHIND

1. Way to Normal by Ben Folds

LITERALLY my favorite album of all time. it's all bangers no misses I reccomend it to everyone and I listen to it very often. Assume all the albums in this list to be in no particular order because this is my favorite album just ever forever

2. Lost and Gone Forever by Guster

THIS WAS HARD TO DECIDE BC GUSTER IS MY FAVORITE BAND EVER and I like literally every single thing they've made but this is peak guster to me.... the album is so fun and loud and I associate a TON of the songs with my OCs. I even have a shirt of the album cover that I got the first time I saw them live :D

3. Level Up by NSP

same issue as guster i like everything nsp has made but this has been my go-to album since July.... It's a little short but sweet and in general it's just so silly!!! and I do not care what the people in comments of the the music videos say I think the level up versions of the songs are better than the originals

4. Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon

Self explanatory. this album rewired my younger, brand-new-to-the-internet self's brain. Amazing album and I need to listen to it again

5. Huffy by We Are Scientists

I listened to this album SO much when it came out, my general playlist (where I put all the songs/albums I like on one big giant playlist) the first songs on it are from this album. I was tempted to put Megaplex here instead but I cannot deny the sheer impact this album has on me...

This was kinda hard to pick because other than like my first 3 i have too many favorite albums to organize them in a linear way....... I just tried to pick albums based on their impact on me and how much I listen to them. I love music so muche

[ego-sum-arbor]

Unrelated to my previous post, but the entire folk ballad Robin Hood song collecting bit in the Last Unicorn rewired my brain. There’s so much meta narrative stuff about the nature of stories, the relationship between myth and reality, and who gets to produce or reify it.

Like I absolutely didn’t get that particular part when I read the book for the first time bc I was maybe seven or eight and didn’t get 80% of the depth of the story. I think it was during my second read, years later, when the joke about Francis Child and folk ballad collecting specifically clued me in to more of what was happening in that scene.

Saying that I didn’t understand most of the depth doesn’t mean that I got nothing out of the book, however. I genuinely enjoyed what I did understand and what I missed was still there, waiting for me to pick the book up again. There are so many layers to the story that you can read it over and over and find something slightly different, which is especially remarkable for such a short novel. I feel like I understand more every time I reread it. Still don’t know what’s up with the tree tho.

[murasakin]

!!

OH MAN i already talk a lot about my main boy murasaki a lot (or show him off anyway) so let me will smith pose at the new one i just made for future campaigns.

his name is glacia avery (glah kee ah) and he's meant to be a ffxiv viera race-wise but can be altered depending on dm rules. i specifically picked viera because i was heart eyeing at the fact that female viera are super tall and the male ones are short, and injecting my agenda into it by making glacia a 6'2" trans man hehehehe

he's a bard and typically plays the harp but is more of a vocalist! a pretty decent range but he's definitely most proficient as a high tenor. he's transitioned to a certain degree so he has a pretty deep voice but he loved the sort of... siren song he could manage with a feminine voice so he retrained himself. definitely a little bit of myself in that part of him as a trans man who was a soprano and had to rewire my way of singing but still does pretty high notes!

anyway i was just gonna describe this part briefly but i'm gushing too much aodjhdfhgkfdk forgive my worms

what's gonna be rly interesting when playing him is like....he is dumb as a brick. and i say that with love because he's full of sunshine and kindness and love for others. but unfortunately his golden retriever ass brain has gotten him into trouble here and there. he tends to be a bit gullible.

basically he used to be a pretty famous performer, but he wouldn't manage or advertise himself very well, so he relied on other people to do that for him and trusted them to do it well. long story short he made a few too many deals, that sounded great and promising, to the wrong crowd.

so in whichever campaign he ends up, he's going to be in a lot of debt. he's not really too bummed out about it though as being on the run means he can see more of the world. this babes is a huge optimist, to his credit, and with his sunny disposition he can still win a lot of people over.

he just may need y'all to pack him a nice lunch before he eats his coinpurse

[windmillcrusader]

Tagged by @theriverbeyond & @nepenthean-sleep (ty!!)

Three ships: if we’re talking ships that rewired my brain, gideon/harrow for sure, juno/nureyev from the penumbra podcast, and kirk/spock(/mccoy). If we’re talking ships I’m thinking about right this moment, that’s gonna be gideon/harrow again, cam/pyrrha/pal, and jade/moon/chime from books of the raksura. honorable mention to csethiro/maia/csevet from the goblin emperor

First ever ship: holly short/trouble kelp from artemis fowl lol

Last song: my way home is through you, mcr

Last movie: it’s a wonderful life, and that’ll probably still be my answer two months from now haha, I don’t watch a ton of movies

Currently reading: I’m rereading gideon the ninth and the cloud roads and ignoring the libby notifications blowing up my phone lol oops. I’m also keeping up with bomberqueen17’s meet death sitting series, which is about as long as both those series combined (!)

Currently watching: zelda videos on youtube

Currently consuming: sleeve of saltines

Currently craving: altoids tangerine sours. just ordered a tin from public displays of confection, looking forward to them!

Tagging: @ceruleanvulpine @dadhuddle @iciclecrown @saritaadam @kayliemalinza @damienthepious and anyone who’d like to!

[sinterblackwell]

most surprising reads of 2022

(aka part II (part I) in my short series of highlighting books that didn't quite make the cut in my top 10 reads of the year (because again...we're now at 136) but still rewired my brain so completely in different ways that i had to talk about them somehow)

warning: this is also a long one. but i had a lot of fun with it :') it's actually convinced me to think about making my own book blog on some other site to have some kind of audience, because it's clear there's potential.

anyways, these were the books that shocked the hell out of me in ways i didn't expect and left a positive marker on my brain.

let the long-winded rants and shows of praise commence 🥂

(in order of read date)

- game changer (game changers, #1) by rachel reid (january 31)

"If you think the world finding out how much I love you is scary to me, you’re dead wrong.”

i have a very soft spot for this first book, and it was for reasons completely subjective that has me on the offense if anyone was to read this because of me and then just absolutely despised it :’)

those reasons stemmed from how i discovered this story in the first place, which was through a blogger’s story on instagram where i just so happened to stumble across a slide where they declared little mix’s “secret love song, pt. II” to be kip & scott’s song. this pair wasn’t even the blogger’s favorite couple, they will always scream about shane & ilya in heated rivalry, but for some reason, they felt the need to share how this song was kip to scott throughout the course of the book. the voices in the song were so angelic and so captivating, that it was what convinced me to read this queer hockey romance that had never been on my radar before this moment.

and maybe it’s because of this song that i ended up finding myself obsessed with this book because no, the writing isn’t the best—it’s pretty average, and the dialogue at times made it a little hard to fully be in the moment. and yeah, kip & scott aren’t one of my most favorite fictional couples ever, but there was just something about the way the lyrics of “secret love song, pt. II” were completely spot-on for these two’s story, how i understood exactly why the blogger felt the urge to connect this song and this story together and post it on instagram……

just because i didn’t think the writing wasn’t the best doesn’t mean that it was very poor; it had its highlights and being in scott and especially kip’s povs made their romance very endearing. i loved all the small & little details about how kip was trying to move forward in his life beyond working in this smoothie shop after having trouble finding anything else with his bachelor’s degree in history. i loved how even though this was my first hockey book in a long while, i was already so absorbed in this sport through scott’s pov, and i was absorbed with what it meant to him as someone who’s now an NHL superstar but was once a low-income kid who was barely hanging on as his mom fought to keep them going. i loved the exploration of scott’s coming out, and how he did have a circle to turn to once he stepped out of his fears that kept him in the closet; and i loved how the author went about making clear that he wasn’t the only closeted NHL player, and how significant it would be if he did make the choice to come out with kip by his side.

what i love love loved about this book though?? a detail i’m absolutely obsessed with?? there’s no drama. it’s the fact that there were literally so many parts of the story that could’ve been the trigger for even more drama and to push the characters further away from each other, but the author purposefully steered clear of it. it’s so completely laughable, and maybe just to me, because there would be instances where things could’ve gone so wrong if the characters hadn’t made certain decisions, or if the author simply wrote it just to write it. it felt almost cheeky these small nods to potential drama that would never actually happen because there really was no need, at least not for this book here. kip & scott’s story was really soft, and yeah there was still some trouble (“secret love song, pt. II” is their song for a reason), but i was in it for the long haul, i was invested.

that’s the surprise there. i came into this story with pretty wary expectations and to see them actually be met, and to have then found myself constantly coming back to it and rereading it while i was picking up other stories. well…….this isn’t one of my top favorite reads of 2022, but it has a special place in my heart for the reading experience—one that lasted weeks so….i wanted to give it a shoutout somehow :’)

(also literally had “secret love song, pt. II” on repeat while writing this to encourage me to let out all my feelings on this book here, so emotions are kinda raw right now lol)

- electric idol (dark olympus, #2) by katee robert (march 25)

“Tell me you’re spinning out just as much as I am. Tell me I’m not in the depths alone.”

this was surprising in the sense that the writing in the first book of this series, neon gods, felt so bizarrely average that reading this sequel here completely caught me off guard. for a good minute or two, i questioned how this could be the same author, which is probably just me reading too much into things, but it was a genuine reaction i will always remember i had.

i said this in the tags of a post once, but for an author who’s had a couple books already under her belt, neon gods reading like a meh debut was strange, and it wasn’t until reading this book here that i really got a sense of where their writing was at. i’m no professional critic, and so this is completely something i grasped from my reading experience.

i think it was the appeal of eros & psyche that helped make the story more engaging and gave a lot more for the author to work with because the way they explored eros’ toxic relationship with his mother and then psyche’s character herself was very interesting to me. i loved the chemistry between the two, especially since at first, things were completely on edge with the hit that aphrodite places on psyche, with eros being the one assigned to deal the killing blow. the way this pair interacted from the beginning was immediately charged because of this hit, and it made everything after feel so high stakes and their growing romance really captivating.

i’m glad that with this book, it encouraged me to continue on with this series as the overarching plot that’s become incredibly significant in all three books so far has grown stronger & stronger over time, so i’m really eager for what’s to come now that i know what this author’s capable of.

- icebreaker by a.l. graziadei (april 8)

this is one of those cases where it wasn’t the story itself, but rather the surprise lying at how attached i got to the main character, mickey james III.

the most that i knew about this book going into it was that it was a ya contemporary romance with hockey playing right at the center, and there was also a significant portrayal of mental illness, with the mc experiencing clinical depression. i also was aware of some mixed things readers felt regarding the romance in particular, which goodreads tags it as first & foremost (a common thing with other books that irks the hell out of me). with this criticism and knowledge in mind, i was on a very cautious edge.

so you can imagine how stumped i felt when i saw myself reflected in the main character.

i wish i can be able to flesh out all my feelings and lay it all out on the table here, blood & guts and all, how much mickey’s character spoke to me and how we’re two completely different people who still felt very similar because of small reactions he had throughout the story or just how tired he got.

Whenever I think of Alyssa and Hugh, or Dorian’s relatable music or Cauler’s face when he said “what would you do if I said yes”, I just get so tired, I want to crawl in bed and not come out for five years. It’s not even sadness. It’s nothingness.

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It’s so obvious. I’m so obvious. Why can’t anyone see what’s really going on? I love hockey. I do. I swear. My brain just doesn’t let me show it or feel it or . . . or . . .

he would say certain things, most of it all inside his head, and i’ll be reading it and i’ll actually be tearing up because i’ll never get used to the feeling of seeing another writer just get it, and the fact that they don’t even know me makes it feel worse. it feels worse to see what mickey goes through and how he internalizes most of it, which just makes certain things go downhill. he’s like this other character, mina, from tashie bhuiyan’s a show for two, who i feel the need to defend with all my heart— the difference is that in this case, i know mickey, almost like how he knows himself, and anyone who brushes over what he goes through or paints him simply as an asshole will only gut me because it’s close to my own experiences in my own life.

the truth is much more complicated, and the things mickey says or does or even believes at times do put him at fault, but it doesn’t make him a bad person. and it doesn’t make him someone who never even tries. the hockey element to this story is very strong, and it was interesting getting to see a different angle of this sport through these characters who were playing as a team at a university. it was interesting seeing how far these expectations go for these young kids who might have the opportunity to get drafted into the NHL, but they have to make successful plays at first, both on and off the ice. seeing the commentators at their team games who would make these critiques about mickey when his mind was at its worst, it felt so personal…..i knew how biased it might’ve been but it really was just so personal. i was rooting for him a lot and i was rooting for other characters, too, and i loved how even when mickey felt alone most of the time, he still had moments with his big family and moments with his team that alleviated the story quite a bit.

i didn’t love nor hate the romance, it was pretty okay in my opinion—i liked the way the author didn’t just explore the kind of difficulties mickey was going through but that other characters as well, aka cauler, were—it just so happened to be for different reasons. it painted a picture of how rough playing hockey can be for different people, who all have their own strengths but that also means they have their weaknesses, too, and they’ll always be judged on that, whether it’s with their hockey sticks or through harsh words.

above all of that, what generally just really surprised me about this story is how much i connected to mickey’s character without expecting it, and it definitely put some things to light for my own life that even all these months later after first reading this book back in april, i still don’t quite know what to do with. i want to try, just as mickey tries. i don’t know if that’s enough but yeah, reading this story was enough for me at the time.

- café con lychee by emery lee (may 17)

Theo gives me this look that's equal parts reassuring and heart-stopping, and maybe that's just his way of saying that my secret is safe with him, but the voice in the back of my head is finally shutting up, and I feel like everything might just be okay.

the more time that passes between now & my time reading this book back in may, the more i feel sorta mystified that i gave it five stars. it’s nothing against the story or the author, and i’ll never change that rating (unless i did a reread and wanted to update it) because what i do have a clear memory of is how happy this book made me towards the end. in fact, i remember feeling so happy, that it literally brought tears to my eyes.

but the reason why i feel strange now is because of what i’ve heard from others regarding their concerns about the romance here, which could pretty much read as like a bully romance. the way theo regards gabi for a good first quarter of the book and the way he makes gabi feel raises a lot of concerns because it’s not like he necessarily goes out of his way to directly attack gabi, physically or verbally. more so, it’s just his general attitude towards him, and when they do interact, he’s very openly mean. it’s something theo accepts as a general part of his personality, but he does reconcile with that and how a lot of his attitude stemmed from some other factors in his life—particularly his family struggles—that made his time at school feel like a big weight on his shoulders. that doesn’t excuse him from how badly he treats gabi at times, and for that, some readers might feel put off by it, and rightfully so.

it’s something i have to reckon with because i do have a clear memory of theo being generally mean towards gabi, and it made for some really awkward/tense scenes because gabi experiences a lot of anxiety so every situation to him is dialed up at a panic level of over 50, so whenever he fumbled around theo and theo snapped, it was a lot to wade through. with that all in mind, i still gave this book the five stars and so i have to wonder the significance behind that. did i find the way that theo treated gabi in the beginning cute? did i think that theo was being mean towards gabi as like one of those classic situations where the guy teases/bullies the main character as a way to get their attention? no, not at all. regarding the latter, it’s very clear that theo had no attraction to gabi in the beginning.

so what did attract him to gabi, and vice versa? that was what the rest of the book was for, seeing this pair get to know each other beyond surface impressions and sort of bond over their shared passion of keeping their families’ businesses afloat in the midst of this new fusion restaurant that was blatantly stealing cuisines from other cultures to make their own profit (and it wasn’t even good!! but more customers kept flocking their way to there anyways). both theo & gabi have different strengths that build towards making this new business plan to save their families, and it was cool especially for gabi, to see him become more comfortable as the story went on and have the opportunity to be more creative.

i think what made me the most emotional at the end of the day, and is partly what lends to the surprise that was this story, is that i had read this after finishing a show for two by tashie bhyuian, which put me through the wringer in its depiction of a very poor familial relationship that the mc had with her parents. to read this book right after, café con lychee, and see the way that theo & gabi’s families were depicted and how they fought and forgave each other, i was so happy to see how not all teenagers have it so rough, but i also felt bad for mina in a show for two because she really deserved better than all her parents put her through.

in the case for this book though, yeah, there were two surprises: the way theo & gabi’s relationship developed over the course of the book as i genuinely started to like them together, in a first love kinda way + then seeing how impactful the hopeful depiction of their families were to me and my soft heart. both elements tied together really well for me that it ultimately lended itself the five star rating, and that’s something really cool.

(even cooler is how the next read after this one was the monstrous series by lily mayne, which is definitely something to be discussed in another post :’) )

- unwritten rules (unwritten rules, #1) by k.d. casey (july 14)

Sixty feet away on the mound, the pitcher throws. The ball releases from his hand, and Zach watches the arc and pattern of its movements as it nears its "commit point", when he has to decide whether to swing or stay put. It's a choice he's made thousands of times, with incomplete information, before a curveball bends or a changeup tumbles. One guided by his experience and instincts but also the confidence that his decision will be the right one. So Zach watches and considers and swings.

this was the first baseball romance i’ve ever read, and as someone who had been leaning more towards hockey romances, jumping into a different sport that’s much less about the action and more about having patience while out on the mound, it was so incredibly interesting. i never knew much about baseball before this—all i really knew was about this famous baseball figure, roberto clemente, a puerto rican professional player who had died in a plane crash. as a kid, i had went to two schools named after him, and that was as far as my knowledge went.

what eventually motivated me to read this slow character-driven story was a classic mood reader move where it was all pure impulse after seeing the second book, fire season, on libby. since that story hadn’t been released yet at the time, i felt motivated enough to read this first book in the meantime to see where it could go, and i’m really glad i did. while i really wasn’t prepared for how detailed and slow-moving the baseball content was, i didn’t mind it at all. i feel that even as someone who has no interest in this sport, for me to still be so invested in the story because of the character who was entrenched and was trying to figure out how to reckon with mistakes from his past while trying to move forward in the present—it was very powerful. the dual timelines of the story did such a good job of reflecting on that, and was one of my most favorite things about it.

while i connected much more to reid in fire season—which despite being the second book in the series, is set before the events of unwritten rules—i genuinely liked zach’s pov and i liked how the author explored his own coming out journey and how it looked like while playing professionally in the major baseball league. seeing the way he slowly bonded with eugenio and how they connected while in the midst of other players was so worth it in all the details the author included in the general atmosphere of the sport, whether it was in practices or the actual games. i feel that for any genuine baseball fan who loves a story that really dives into the second-by-second aspects of what it’s like playing the sport, you’ll find a lot of potential in this. because even for me, i really respected the author for how much knowledge she had and how clearly passionate she was about these characters and the game they were playing.

zach makes some mistakes and other characters edge around him because of it, and i can see some readers who might think he was a little boring, but as i mentioned in my goodreads review, i liked how disconnected from the story he felt because that was the point; zach had a lot of shit to grow from and be at his own pace.

what surprised me so much about this book was again, it was baseball, i’ve never read about it before, and the fact that i was actually engaged the whole time?? shocking, but also very cherished to me :’)

- all of our demise (all of us villains, #2) by amanda foody & christina lynn herman (august 30)

"We're the only ones still playing. So let's play."

**slight spoilers for this one**

i had read all of us villains late last year, one of the very few titles i was able to read in the midst of a reading slump, and so i'll always have a very soft spot for this ya fantasy duology. one thing i loved about that first book, and which made me love this sequel/finale even more is how dark it had gotten. it was such a cool story idea to have these stories of villains and actually portray them as such, not trying to muddle them down to seem more pleasing for a teen audience. it was phenomenal and absolutely heartstopping how far these characters would go to prove themselves to their families and to the world, and i liked how you could still connect to them with the issues that they had.

with this sequel here, i was just swept away at how good the characterization was, and how certain relationships were developed in a way i could only ever have dreamed of. to see certain characters come to life and others fall under death's spell, it was amazing the route these authors went because it really felt like they went all in. with gavin & alistair's relationship growth + briony & isobel's character arcs, all their endings were absolutely fit for the epic journey they went on from the moment they stepped foot into the Tournament.

there's so much action & betrayal but it was all about the final moments of one character who wouldn't walk out the Tournament alive because they were playing as the hero; the sad moments shared between two brothers who grew up in a family seen as most wicked of all of Ivernath; one character who looked at themselves in the mirror and felt fit for a corpse's grave with how rotten they felt inside in their desperate urge to win after others already decided for them they were fit for victory; another character who already had a gravestone waiting for them despite how larger than life they were and determined to not lie six feet under.

it was just an absolutely amazing finale, i enjoyed every minute of it and that was the surprise of it all, because these characters really made you work for it in trying to reach the final page.

- the president’s vampire (nathaniel cade, #2) by christopher farnsworth (october 31)

"There's more to this world than the things you can see," Lord said, "There are hidden chapters to history, and not all of them were written by men."

this one might be a bit brief because well, i have had such a chaotic reading journey throughout this entire series (exhibit a), i need a break just thinking about it. this was the book that made me discover the series in the first place, and it was the most mind-boggling of it all, which was everything. it's CIA conspiracy theories taken to the next level, and there were a lot of deaths in this one. it didn't feel like too much, surprisingly so, in fact it felt necessary for the story, and it was clear to the author that if he was going to be given free reign to write a series about a vampire who is sworn to protect the president of the united states, he was not going to be wasting the opportunity to raid every dark crevice of secrets the american government is likely to be holding in their arsenal.

i also really got attached to the characters, especially with cade & zach's strange partnership, which stood out more clearly in deep state, but in here, there were shadow organizations and lizard mutations to fight against and seeing them working together and get separated at various times made for very fucked up scenes of life & death.

it was because of this whole series that i really got into annotating as i was reading, writing a bunch of notes in my highlights that were not enlightening at all, they were just my dumbfounded reactions to some of the shit that happens in here. it was all very entertaining--dark as hell, but entertaining nonetheless......and also plain sad at some parts but well. the first book wasn't so much lighthearted but it was ridiculous a majority of the time, and it wasn't until i read this second book that things seemed to get even darker and feel much more serious--it was the surprise of a lifetime. i was all for it but i mean, you have quotes like this:

The real world was right in his face, and it was a small square of tile on the cold floor. It finally occurred to him that he was not the secret-agent hero of this movie. He wasn't the plucky sidekick. He wasn't even the damsel in distress, because no one was coming to save him.

and all you can do is sit there stumped as hell because well...damn.

- whisper by tal bauer (december 11)

And of everything, We created pairs. Heaven and Earth. Night and day. Sun and moon. Sea and Shore. Light and darkness.

David gazed at Kris. You, for me.

i think every book for every reader will always be completely subjective because there's just so many factors to it that can affect a reader's experience with said book. this was what happened with game changer as i briefly talked about way above, and it was the same thing that happened with this story here. there was certain knowledge i wasn't privy of for a good while and so whenever i thought of this story before actually having the courage to read it, i just felt this sinking dread because i had been under the assumption that a major character would be dead. and they would, but just as it's quoted in the actual goodreads summary for this book, the truth is much more complicated.

i've had such a memorable time reading all of tal bauer's books up to this point, and all of them had their happy endings--for some, it took quite a long and rocky journey to get there, but it was a happy ending all the same. with this story, i was genuinely sitting with the premature grief that this pairing, kris and david as i had known them, would not be so lucky. it took rifling through some non-spoilery goodreads reviews to figure out that it was really worth it to give their book a chance because wow, was it going to be heartbreaking but incredibly healing as well, and it was.

reading this 700-page long military fiction that is based on some real-life events/figures, with a lot of creative liberty used, it was such a long & heavy journey. there were scenes of extreme terror & torture that just made me feel empty for quite a bit, and to have to keep reading because there was still so much ahead for these characters, it was a time. it was a time to witness how the timelines of hush and whisper merged and completely rewired everything i thought i had known to make me that much more devastated.

i would never have imagined reading a story like this if it wasn't for the fact that it had been tal bauer who wrote this, and he wrote it so well. the romance was phenomenal, there's no questioning that, and the characters--kris & david's character arcs--they're put through so much and have so much trauma and guilt to work through. in moments where they try to take one step forward, they're immediately pulled back in the next minute, and it was terrifying as hell what they had to go through. reading to the end felt like a challenge of its own and once i reached the last page, i almost couldn't believe it but i was just so glad that i did.

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.

and we're done!!

[xycuro-illuminati]

7, 8 & 17

7. Do you prefer CDs, streaming, or vinyl?

- I like streaming music more bc I like to walk around with my silly phone using silly earphones listening to my silly music. CDs I still use for my car lol.

8. Which artist have you seen live that didn't live up to the hype?

- All of the artists I've seen live def lived up to the hype. I guess I could say maybe Mystery Skulls only bc the concert felt really short to me idk.

17. Describe your favorite song without telling me the title

- Synth-pop song that rewires my brain each time I listen to it and it reminds me of that ginger beast Matthaniel sometimes

(Ask game here)