#in the first books and then the author I think started trying to redeem her. I just stopped reading.

[bonefall]

while i do agree with the sentiment that bloodclan should be more nuanced as an entity i still believe it is wrong to portray them as the necessary "response" to clan injustice (haven't read the books in years but i am pretty sure that bloodclan started with no connection to the clans) / an opposition to the clan's flaws. some of the thing scourge did was out of selfishness and bloodclan isn't the other colour of the black and white debacle with the clans. the clans are heavily flawed yes, but it isn't realistic to completely say that their structure had no redeeming qualities altogether and that all outsider groups is fundamentally better than the clans.

all clans and groups are flawed in their own way and i believe we shouldnt brush past the things that other groups (the sisters and what they do with their toms *cough cough*) did solely to be able to degrade the clans and their culture.

Buddy, you're setting up a strawman. I promise you that if you look into the reduxes I've made of BloodClan, Guardians, The Sisters, and the Tribe, you will see that I don't make any of them a "flawless" alternative to Clan life.

Nor do I say that the Clans have no redeeming qualities. In fact, you can browse the "Clan Culture" tag to see the various expansions I've made to show how these traditions, values, and technological advances make Clan life so alluring.

The overarching theme of BB is that the nature of culture is change. For better AND for worse.

With respect, I think there's something insidious in the wording of "the things the other groups did." We're talking about fan responses to a work that consistently demonizes and degrades foreigners to make the Clans look like the "best way to live," justifying xenophobia. These are not real groups, they are writing choices.

In the franchise with some pretty extreme examples of misogyny, the authors said "What if bizarro world where women rule and have no men... woag..." and only includes a single Clan-alligned member of this culture, with a BAD opinion of them, who can't even do his diplomatic job because he HATES them so much.

In the same franchise that shows Fireheart getting bullied, facing prejudice, and fighting a murderous tyrant who publically executes a mixed-race character, their endgame villain is an outsider, like him, but this one IS a godless heathen who HATES love and friendship and banned families.

In the VERY same franchise which made its first non-malicious group barely able to get through an arc without needing to be saved by Clan cats, totally unable to defend themselves, framed as "whiny" for not wanting their clearly 'inferior' culture to be forcefully changed.

And I'm re-stating all this because, again, no offense to you in particular Anon, but I've been seeing a few people with a sentiment like yours lately. Complaints into a vacuum that don't make targeted critique of anyone's fanworks, gesturing at this broad "woobification" which is apparently out there somewhere over the rainbow, saying things like "well Scourge is selfish" or "well Moonlight abandoned her 13 year old" as if we haven't BEEN knew.

As if we're not all directly responding to these choices. As if I haven't written ESSAYS on this topic.

Since this was about BloodClan in particular though, and you admit you haven't read the books in years, please go back and actually read Rise of Scourge before trying to make critique of the ways fanon rewrites its origin. It's EXPLICITLY a response to the Clans, in the text, that the Erins wrote, it is canon that fanon is working with.

And you want people to take that out and approach it a different way... why? Because it's so incredulous to you that a nation forms in response to a threatening neighbor? That a common enemy through invasions is a way that people might choose to unite, and encourage their new culture to value brutality? Because you don't like the idea of Clan Culture's XENOPHOBIC BATTLE CULTURE affecting surrounding communities??

Could YOU, maybe, be doing this "woobification" thing I keep hearing about? Can I play this stupid game too? What's our stupid prize? Can it be a lollipop? Do we get stickers

TL;DR, ok.

[rabbiteclair]

I think this opinion is not a big surprise to anybody who's talked to me about Otherside Picnic for any real length of time, but I feel like the first book is pretty rough, and the series doesn't really hit its stride until the kotoribako. (Which, of course, makes the anime even more of a tragedy.) I don't dislike the first book and a half, but I do think that section is relatively weak compared to most of the later installments, especially if you are not spending the entire time nodding and going 'wow Sorawo is so relatable, I too am an antisocial nerd with few redeeming qualities who would risk drowning in a marsh just to have a quiet, secluded hangout spot'. Trying to explain just why I feel like the opening parts are weaker has always been a pain though, so I wanna try listing the reasons.

Roughly in order from biggest -> smallest issues -

Sorawo + Toriko's powers and the fights: Early on, their eye/hand feel very... isekai protagonist power, where they've got a cool trump card ability that counters every enemy. The kunekune is defeated by Sorawo looking at it and Toriko shooting it. The big monster at Kisaragi is defeated by Sorawo looking at it and shooting it. The windmill lady is defeated by Sorawo looking at it and shooting it. Book 2 starts introducing more variations on the formula, and by 3 the 'look at it and shoot it' approach is rarely a meaningful solution. Even when their abilities are key to defeating something, like with the yamanoke, it isn't so straightforward. This is very much an improvement, because I think the fights start feeling same-y pretty fast.

the variety of threats: This is kind of unavoidable for a few reasons, but the threats from the Otherside are very straightforward this early on. In between the kunekune and the kotoribako, basically every enemy is a big scary thing that chases them or tries to abduct them. The variety of threats diversifies a whole lot past that point, and by books 4-5 the Otherside is basically conducting sociological experiments on them instead. (The anime exacerbates this by adding two more episodes of 'a scary thing chases them' encounters.)

the vibe of the monster encounters: Later on, the series gets pretty good at working the netlore stuff in more naturally, and a lot of them aren't even fully explained outside of the author's notes at the end. The earlier in the series you are, the more likely it is that each monster is introduced with two paragraphs of "'wow, it's Hasshaku-sama, just like in my favorite 2008 2chan horror story. You see, Hasshaku-sama is a ghost who is eight shaku tall and-". Part of this is just Sorawo being Sorawo, but the earlier ones feel pretty... fanservice-y to me, in the traditional sense of pandering to fans. And I say this as somebody who fucking loves kunekune.

the Otherside feeling arbitrary: The Otherside's rules and mechanics are still being established that early on, and a lot of the time it crosses over from feeling 'mysterious' to 'arbitrary' to me. I think the big culprit here is all the times they get sucked into the Otherside without warning. That happens like every other chapter in the first two books, and I feel like it's the kind of thing you need to use really sparingly lest it lose its impact (which I think it does here.) File 4 in particular is a whole series of arbitrary-feeling stuff imo and some of it, like the glitch village, doesn't feel like it fits very well with the mechanics of the Otherside as we understand them in newer books.

relationship/character development: Their relationship just isn't in as interesting of a place early on, and their characters aren't as fleshed out. Sorawo is always good, but at times early on she can feel like a genderswapped 'complete loser lucks into powers' LN protag. She gets a lot more nuanced past the first few files. The speed/degree with which Sorawo falls for Toriko also feels a little forced to me. This last part isn't a major complaint, because Sorawo barely comprehends her own emotions and spends the whole time bewildered by it, herself.

supporting cast: Similar to the previous one, the series just hadn't had time to build up the supporting cast by this point. It's just Kozakura until file 7. I can hardly call this a flaw, since it can't introduce everyone in chapter 1, but I feel like the expanded cast has made things more interesting. In book 1 you gotta wait five more whole books to meet Benimori. Tragic.

[smokestarrules]

I want ALL of your Amity's analysis. Do u hear me? ALL, hahaha

ok bet

The family Amity grew up in was very simple: Odalia and Alador are the authority, Edric and Emira can do no wrong (though, of course, it’s more complicated than that), and Amity can never be enough. 

Luz was everything Amity wanted to be herself. 

She loved Grudgby, but she stopped playing it because she didn’t like the person she was while playing. 

She has no fucking idea on how to talk to people, including and especially Willow.  

Amity wasn’t going to fucking dissect Luz, and neither was Principal Bump. 

Amity Blight does not cheat. That is an essential part of her character. She does not cheat to get to where she is, because 1) Blights don’t cheat (and it doesn’t matter whether or not that’s actually true) and 2) Amity doesn’t cheat. Amity doesn’t cheat because she’s worked hard for every single thing she’s ever been given and cheating would undermine her entire character. 

She doesn’t have many safe spaces, so when she does find one, she makes sure to go all-out on making it feel like home. 

Amity grew up having to justify every single thing she did to her parents, having to justify her own existence, and that especially includes things she enjoys. 

If Luz hadn’t joined Edric and Emira in the library during Lost in Language, the relationship between the twins and Amity literally would have been damaged irreparably. She would have never spoken to them again. 

Luz was the first person on-screen to make her laugh.

She is just a little bit dumb sometimes <3

Luz saying “We can fix this together” in Understanding Willow is one of the most monumental moments in Amity’s entire life. 

If it weren’t for Luz, Amity almost 100% would’ve campaigned for the role of Grom Queen. Because Luz was there, though, her fears changed, and she knew it. 

Amity was going to confess to Luz before she had to go and fight Grometheus in Enchanting Grom Fright, but Luz offering to take her place stopped her in her tracks, because she wasn’t at all ready for that. 

Amity’s fear, too, is the culmination of everything she was scared of losing, not just Luz rejecting her advances. 

After King’s reassurance in Eclipse Lake, she’s self-aware enough to understand that the similarities between herself and Hunter don’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, and she makes a conscious effort to reach out to him. 

She started learning Spanish before she was stranded in the Human Realm in an attempt to further connect with Luz. 

Amity does not snoop through Luz’s things even when she thinks knowing more could help because she’s had that happen to her and she understands how small it makes you feel. She is ridiculously emotionally intelligent when it comes to Luz, and, later, when it comes to herself. 

She would do anything for her friends. 

She’s the only witch who’s ever read The Good Witch Azura series, which she latched onto because it served as a sort of escape for her. She sees herself within Hecate, because despite her wrongdoings, the narrative treats her with kindness. Consequently, the book in which Hecate is effectively redeemed is the only one she hadn’t been able to collect herself. 

She sets incredible boundaries with her father. He’s trying now, sure, but that doesn’t take back the years of pain, and it shouldn’t. 

Amity gets noticeably more and more silly as the time goes on, because she’s coming back into herself.

Also as time goes on, her magic grows more versatile!

She was not trying to antagonize Willow in Labyrinth Runners, but trying way too hard to protect the person that she had once hurt so deeply. It’s a setback, nothing more, and one that arises from miscommunication. It’s settled, too. They’re on the same page now. 

And because of that, Amity is able to let herself be silly with Willow, too!!

She may be the least powerful (certainly one of the least powerful, at least) of the main cast, but that’s a good thing. 

It’s also a good thing that we haven’t seen her library hideout since season 1, as cute as it was. She doesn’t need it anymore. 

Over time, her relationship with her siblings has improved to the point that they know her well enough to know how to calm her down, and she’s comfortable with them to be able to talk freely about Luz. 

Amity still had hope for Odalia, because even after everything she’s done to her, Amity still wanted to believe that she wasn’t all bad. 

She tried so hard to make sure Luz also got through the portal in King’s Tide. She would’ve stayed behind if Luz did. 

Amity knows full well in Thanks to Them that Luz is feeling guilty, if not the extent of it, and she tries to help out by setting up Halloween costumes that she thinks they’ll both love; Hecate and Azura, which is the thing they bonded over initially. 

Recognizing that Luz doesn't feel like she deserves love, Amity quotes her girlfriend to show her that, yes, she does, and this is how much she means to her. 

[chevelleneech]

The Acolyte ep7: The Good!

I posted my negative thoughts first, to get them out of the way since they were my initial reaction. However, I didn’t end the episode upset or even frustrated. If you want to read them though, click here.

Going to the good…

This episode, while flawed in my opinion, did a good job following through on what it seemingly set the tone and theme of the show as. As far as I know since getting into the series, it’s meant to be a villain origin story, but no one really knows who the villain is supposed to be.

We know Mae was the assassin, but we never knew if she’d remain our dark side pov. Then we met Qimir, the by-the-book villain who is looking to recruit people to the dark side, and Osha, his likely pupil given her call to freedom and power since youth. We also had an inkling it could be a Jedi who turns, because it’s possible, as we’ve seen it with Anakin (if he was a Jedi, I don’t actually know, lol).

Point is, we knew the show would be about someone choosing the dark side, but not who. This episode followed through on why it’d be possible and even justified, because the Jedi have an inflated sense of ego no matter who it harms, and while I don’t know everything about Star Wars, I do know that has been a long lasting conversation. The Jedi Order wants ultimate control without coming across as being oppressive, and that is simply not a feasible want in life. As a result, they must cover up their crimes, no matter how well intended.

As such, we saw in this episode that while Indara attempted to do the right thing the whole time, she still chose to protect the aggressors. Which was her team, thus claiming the lives of an entire coven. We saw Torbin, a young man being taught he was an authority figure even though he clearly wasn’t ready to be on the field, act on his own impulse just because he wanted to go back to a place of comfort and privilege that benefited him. And lastly we saw Sol, a man clearly in search of his Purpose, choose to act on his emotions instead of trying to understand a different culture’s way of life.

What stood out to me the most, as well, is that Sol didn’t even know the girls apart from each other as he attempted to stake his claim. I know he meant well to an extent, but he called out for Osha despite knowing Mae is the one with the symbol on her head. It can be argued he didn’t see it, but that also proves my point. He didn’t feel a connection to Osha specifically. Like Indara said, he put his own deep seated wants above what was actually happening.

Sol decided Osha passed the Jedi test. Sol assumed the worst of Aniseya to justify killing her. Sol decided Mae was too attached to the coven to give her any benefit of the doubt. Sol chose to kill Mae to save Osha. Sol chose to protect himself by agreeing to lie to Osha and make her sister out to be a murder. Sol, Indara, and Torbin all acted out of selfishness, and while Kelnacca could have chosen not to jump into battle, he really is the only one who did not cause harm. His body was taken over and used without his permission, and as a result, his life was chosen to mean more than tens of others.

As much as I spoke on why the episode didn’t hit the mark for me, I do still think it is a really solid foundation for why Osha eventually going dark makes sense. It also redeems Mae, because she could have chosen to kill all Jedi everywhere, yet she didn’t. It also helps make better sense of why she decided to turn herself in once learning Osha was alive. I already figured it was because she had her sister back, but that was when I thought there was true mind games going on with the Jedi and she wanted to tell Osha she didn’t start the fire.

She did start the fire, but it’s still a solid reasoning, because had the Jedi not been there, none of it would have happened regardless. At the same time, Mae’s want for revenge stemmed from believing the Jedi killed Osha, and because she saw Sol kill her mother. So it makes even more sense that she hates him the most, and decided to kill him once again after Osha refuses to forgive her. Sol ruined her life, and unbeknownst to her at the time, chose to kill her too.

I kind of lost my train of thought… sorry.. but basically, I think for all its worth, the episode did stick to its guns. We know why Mae wants revenge, we know why Osha never felt truly connected to being a Jedi in the end (because Sol forced it more so than he let it happen naturally), and we know why Sol has been so guilt ridden and also confused as to why and how Mae turned out. He asserted she was dead, because he let her fall. He didn’t think she was a killer, because she never was before his actions turned her into one.

Okay, so I’m tired of typing now and gotta get some sleep for work, but that’s pretty much all my thoughts. I think. If not, you’ll certain see more of them over the next week. I also think I’m going to make a predictions post tomorrow, so I’ll link that here if I do. Bye.

Wait, quick thoughts after reading it back.

Who saved Mae? I’m confused as to that part, and am partially hoping it’s not Qimir, because it would make me side eye their lack of a dynamic. Unless they have him save her and send her on her way, only for them to meet up a decade later, and he realizes she needs guidance right as we is seeking a pupil, so he decides to train her.

And the last last thing… people who hate the idea of the Jedi being corrupt, are probably not going to like this episode even though the Jedi overall are not the ones who covered anything up. It was that single crew, but we all know how Those Folks can get. They’re already too deep into their “The Acolyte is the worst show ever!” high horses, and they aren’t coming down anytime soon, lol.

Okay, now goodbye!

[blamemma]

everything i read in november

on the savage side by tiffany mcdaniel, 5*(!!!) - the month started off sooooo good with tiffany mcdaniel's latest release, centring around twin sisters who lose themselves to drug addiction and the path it takes them down to feed their addiction. but like, everything isn't as it seems. and you follow this thread of darkness throughout the novel that exposes itself near the end...and just. wow. i won't tell u my emotions because i literally do not want to give any hint of a spoiler but i think this would appeal to so many reading audiences cause it has a thriller-esque nature to it. please heed content warnings for this one tho x

scabby queen by kristin innes, 1* - baaad. very very baad. this was just boring and hard to follow and had literally no redeeming qualities. the plot was ridiculously hard to follow, i cant remember any of the characters names because there were literally far too many and i get the argument that was trying to be made here but the execution was just soooo far off. big sad to review a scottish author badly but yeah this one was not for me

jazz by toni morrison, 3.5* - ya know what, i enjoyed it. think i'm at that reader level now where i can appreciate morrison and think i'll try and read her whole works next year because i did really enjoy this one. plot was really interesting, characterisation worked so well, some beautiful stunning prose. interesting discussion on power structures, class, who and where home is. i liked it.

venomous lumpsucker by ned beauman, 3* - oh dear. this was like a heavy predicted 5* for me. i have had a copy since christmas last year and i haven't picked it up because i was waiting for that right moment, cause i thought it was going to be oh so good. and it wasn't. it was....it was just missing that bite. the writing style felt childish in places. really long-winded sentences and run-offs that had no place in making the story stronger. really dislikable characters and the message of the book got lost halfway through when side-quests started to be explored. a shame, cause i think the themes that beauman was playing with here and the way he was trying to craft them could have been so intelligent and so interesting, but this really missed the mark for me. it could maybe be a 2* honestly. sigh

grief is a thing with feathers by max porter, 4* - yeah this was clever. this was gut wrenching. it was a re-read. but it hit me just as hard as it did the first time. the "you decide" chapter still hurts every time. i carry this family with me. i think this book perfectly encapsulates grief and the way we just have to...move on. i think max porter is a genius and his lyrical writing style is beautiful. one of this generations greats imo.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 3/5

Book Blurb: Sparks fly when an occult expert and a disgraced archeologist become enemies-with-benefits in this steamy romance from "go-to author" Rosie Danan (The New York Times Book Review).

Riley Rhodes finally has the chance to turn her family’s knack for the supernatural into a legitimate business when she’s hired to break the curse on an infamous Scottish castle. Used to working alone in her alienating occupation, she's pleasantly surprised to meet a handsome stranger upon arrival—until he tries to get her fired.

Fresh off a professional scandal, Clark Edgeware can’t allow a self-proclaimed “curse breaker” to threaten his last chance for redemption. After he fails to get Riley kicked off his survey site, he vows to avoid her. Unfortunately for him, she vows to get even.

Riley expects the curse to do her dirty work by driving Clark away, but instead, they keep finding themselves in close proximity. Too close. Turns out, the only thing they do better than fight is fool around. If they’re not careful, by the end of all this, more than the castle will end up in ruins.

Review:

A cursebreaker and a grumpy disgraced archeologist become enemies-with-benefits when they both find themselves working on the same site that is said to be cursed. Riley Rhodes comes from a family of cursebreakers. She wants to make her family's talent a legitimate business and the first step in doing so is working as the new cursebreaker on an infamous Scottish castle. She thought she would be working online until she finds out that the cute guy she went on a date with the night before just happens to be a grumpy archeologist who is trying to get her fired and thinks she's a con artist. Clark Edgeware is fresh off a professional scandal and needs this new dig to help him regain his reputation. Clark wants Riley off his site, especially because he thinks she'll ruin his chance at redeeming his reputation, yet the tension between them is palpable, and the "hate" they feel is only leading to them getting closer. Clark and Riley can't stand to be in the same room, they both believe in different things, yet the more time they spend together the more they're starting to fall for each other. Can Riley break the curse before it's too late and can Clark work out his feelings for his infuriating enemy before the start of a potential relationship is left in ruins. This was a enemies to lovers relationship with a tiny bit of paranormal. It's an overall kind of cozy romance. The story is a bit slow and kind of lacking in excitement or paranormal aspect. It's an okay read if you like slow romances but it just was okay for me. I didn't really feel the chemistry between the two characters, like I can understand a rivals to lovers but they really didn't feel like they had anything that would make this a lasting relationship between them. I wish this worked out better, I really wanted to like this more, but unfortunately it was just kind of lacking.

*Thanks Netgalley and Berkley Publishing Group, Berkley for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[alyssalikestoreadbooks]

Borrow My Heart - Kasie West

"When a girl overhears a guy getting verbally destroyed by his friend for being catfished, she jumps in to save the day—and pretends to be his online crush. A young adult romance from the critically acclaimed author of Places We've Never Been.

Wren is used to being called a control freak. She doesn’t care; sticking to the list of rules she created for herself helps her navigate life. But when a cute guy named Asher walks through the door of her neighborhood coffee shop, the rulebook goes out the window.

Asher is cute, charming . . . and being catfished by his online crush. So Wren makes an uncharacteristically impulsive decision—she pretends to be the girl he's waiting for to save him from embarrassment. Suddenly she’s fake-dating a boy she knows nothing about. And it’s . . . amazing.

It's not long before Asher has her breaking even more of her own rules. But will he forgive her when he finds out she's not who she says she is? Wren's not so sure. . . . After all, rules exist for a reason."

Read Date - August 2024

Length - 320 Pages

Genre - Romance, Contemporary, Young Adult

Rating - 6/10

Stars - ★★★☆☆

Notes - I've said this in the past, but i think its SO CUTE when books have little quirks or unique features. This book features "rules" at the start of each chapter! i love it. I love how nerdy Asher and Wren are, and the way they converse with each other is just so sweet. The fake identity thing is REALLY interesting and i can't wait to see how that plays out. It's interesting to see how Wren has to deal with Karen's at the animal shelter, and the dynamics of different people is so cool. The concept of Wren reverse-catfishing Asher is genuinely very cool to me and i think it's very interesting the way that it's all played out. Asher slowly falls in love with her, and Wren breaks all her rules. On top of this all, she's lying to him, and hiding the truth. The reveal that Wren creates these rules to protect herself from her mother is heartbreaking, and it makes sense psychologically. The drama between Wren and her mom is such a smart way to draw a divide between the sisters, and Wren wants to make up for it by going on a trip with her sister to her moms. Involving social media in the efforts to get Bean adopted was such a smart and cute thing. I love all the different events, and how people come out of their comfort zone to make it all happen. The reveal that Asher knew the entire time is breath releasing like oh my god yesssss i love this trope. Wren's mom ditching them again is a good way for the author to get Wren's sister to realize that she's a deadbeat parent, without having to manufacture too much drama to create it. Dale and Asher posting the videos about the catfish to go viral literally has anxiety spiked in my chest, like I can't believe he would do that. I don't think this is redeemable imo because Wren is such a shy and reserved person who doesn't like to be on social media and this just betrays her trust despite what she may say. It's a great wrench thrown into a dynamic where she started out the bad guy, and Dale is trying to paint her slightly that way (unintentionally) by doing so. I had to skip some parts because its a hard cringe read when Wren finds out that he's used her to go viral. Bean getting adopted before Wren could say goodbye was so heartbreaking and it literally makes me want to CRYYYY THAT WAS HER BABBYYYYY!!!! Her eventually getting to see him again is so sweet, and im just so glad that no dogs die in this book. it's so amazing. Asher making his brother delete the video and the two of them getting shamed by their mom for posting it was satisfying. It made it alright that Wren and Asher got back together in the end. This is the first time i would've been okay if Wren got together with Chad.... just saying! In general, this was a nice book that i'd recommend to other YA readers but outside of that niche, I'm not sure if others would like it as much. It was an alright book for me.

[abookclubofonesown]

killers of a certain age | deanna raybourn | 2022

billie, helen, mary alice, and natalie are retiring after 40 years at the Museum - a extra-governmental agency formed after WWII to go after (and kill) escaped nazis. for their retirement, they are sent on an all-expenses-paid cruise and things go sideways when they clock one of the Museum’s own targeting them. the Museum has put a kill order out on them with a bounty and now they need to figure out who is after them and why - all while dealing with menopause. 

---------------------------*spoilers ahead*--------------------------------

this book was fun! i always feel like with spy/assassin books that i need to suspend my disbelief just a smidge more than to i do for other books and this one was no exception. my mind just can’t wrap itself around the resources and logistics needed to successfully pull off any of these missions. so that’s my own brain getting in the way for me, but i consciously set that part of my brain aside and really just focused on the characters for this one. the plot was fine and entertaining - it hit all the spy/international-agent-of-intrigue marks. 

this book uses a device that always sticks out to me as a device and like... not a free flowing narrative. there are some flashback chapters that help flush out some of the characters, but their placement is obvious. like they get to a point where they decide to kill these three dudes who they’ve work with for the past 40 years. so there is a flashback chapter featuring this dude and giving him unique characteristics that the women will exploit in the next chapter to kill him. i don’t think this takes away from the book at all, but i was definitely reading those chapters hunting for clues as to how they’ll use that info to kill him. the author, to her credit, doesn’t really handhold you through that leap at the start of the next chapter all that often, but it’s still something that i noticed. 

what were the standout points for me in this book were the characters, the focus on women, and the art historical references throughout. 

CHARACTERS: 

while the book is focused mainly on billie, helen, mary alice, and natalie; billie is definitely the protagonist/main character. the book’s chapters are delineated by flashbacks that are told in 3rd person and present day written in 1st person from billie’s pov. i think billie was the natural choice for the narrator since she is kinda the most neutral? the other women are really Characters ™ with nat being a locksmith horndog, helen being a women struggling with grief for her late husband, and mary alice is dealing with her marriage. you could have maybe done from mary alice’s pov, but then you would have had to make her wife and their problems a bit more center stage and i don't think billie would have popped on the page if we hadn’t been inside her mind. billie is the one who got good at her job because she enjoyed it. she didn’t have the marriage like helen or mary alice and she didn’t seem all that interested in other people the way nat was. she dedicated herself to the job and was happy with that. it did mean that she eschewed a romance early on in career with another field agent, but this man (taverner) does make an appearance and you are lead to believe that they’ll rekindle their romance. i liked this pairing because they didn’t try to change for one another. they respected what the other wanted in life and chose what was best for them. and now they are at a time in their lives where what they want is the same. it’s kind of a love-at-first-sight thing going on but i think that works for what this is and the pages you want devoted to it.  

the men are suitably vile and chauvinistic without it being cartoonish - a believable dickishness. the only redeemable one is taverner. martin starts off being a meek, computer geek who the women have a soft spot for and (they think) vice versa. but he turns out to be the instigator for everything after trying to launch a coup. i feel like i’ve been seeing this trend a lot with authors setting up with these men that position themselves as meek and mild to women only for that to be a guise for their manipulation and exploitation of them later. that’s not something for which i had to suspend my disbelief.

and it’s not just old women featured here, you’ve got minka (an ukrainian under billie’s wing and a tech wiz/app developer) who’s probably early 20s and naomi (a Museum agent) who’s in her mid-30s and pregnant with baby #3. my favorite parts of this book were when all of the women were interacting together. it was fun when they were killing the men together but also when they were just sitting around and talking. i find women fascinating so that helps lol. 

ART HISTORICAL FOCUS: 

the Museum was founded, in part, by some of the monuments men in WWII - this was a group that was dedicated to finding and safekeeping artworks stolen by the nazis. the Museum made it one of its missions to find and repatriate artworks back to the people they were stolen from. if that family can’t be identified or no living descendants remain, then the Museum retains it. 

the painting at the center of this book is The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba by sofonisba anguissola. i studied anguissola in one of my classes in graduate school so i was delighted to see her name being mentioned! she’s one of the few female painters known to us from the renaissance era. she became a court painter and she is mainly known for portraits. her most famous being that of her sisters playing a game of chess. however, this painting is fictional. the author describes it so well that i want it to be real, but alas it is not. and.... not to go all art historian.... the subject matter is a little out of left field for anguissola. maybe she makes that point in the book and i can’t remember, but anguissola was more of a portrait painter of courtly lords and ladies and less of a biblical scene painter as described in the book. i’ll forgive because it’s whatever but it really just feels like who she really wanted was an artemisia gentileschi painting with a name that was more insider baseball. 

tl;dr: killer old ladies from (mostly) the united states stick it to the man (a few of them, in fact)  

[plan-d-to-i]

I didn't interact much with my previous fandom but it followed a pattern. The angry character(A) who clearly had major faults in the initial books but the author decided to give A a book after things where mid way over to tell more about their personality and perspective(idk I don't like A that much but I appreciated them a little after the choices they took in the next book).

The ending of their book had them saving their family members(one of them B) and that's canon. We get most the development in the book and A choosing to save their family is canon. The two family members, A and B, actually become close and I liked the way they went thru their issues.

BUT there are still people who try to drag down B and write takes about how they're inconsiderate and didn't deserve A's sacrifice (B is infact a good character and always looked out for A, even if they had issues.)

I mean half of the fandom is filled with people supporting the angry person and ignoring all the initial stuff. Ofc i left the fandom.

Their relation is not like jc and wwx.

In mdzs, wwx left for good and people try to write reconciliations.

In their fandom, things because better and family persisted. But they try to show how A was way way better and no one really understands her. This lead to them calling A's sacrifice as given to someone unworthy.

It's really a pattern. Stick to the angry character and either seek company and validation and/or believe that you're high and mighty and everyone wronged you and doesn't deserve you.

People reward a piece of shit for doing one small minor good act in a sea of assholeishness, and punish a kind selfless person for the smallest imperfection or show of human frailty. In this world it doesn't pay to be good, selfless and kind. I admire those who still do it. Couldn't be me.

I can't stand that angry, shouty, tantrum throwing, emotionally messy character type. If you don't vibe w someone anymore cut them out. These people want to have their cake and eat it too; Squat in someone's life, but use them as an emotional punching bag and then try to act like they're the ones getting the rough end of the deal. And they always do it to better ppl than them who don't have the heart to set their foot down.

[sokkastyles]

I was sent this screenshot by someone telling me that the author of this post was using it as “evidence” that Zuko is selfish and disloyal to the Fire Nation, while Azula is selfless because of her loyalty to the FN, and was asked to answer the question: is Zuko selfish?

And I just have to say that this post is written in phenomenally bad faith, especially if it’s supposed to be proof of Zuko’s supposed selfishness.

So let’s get into it.

Zuko’s quest to capture the Avatar is certainly selfish, because his motives are based around what he thinks it will gain him (his father’s acceptance), but hardly for the reason this person seems to think it is.

As Katara says to him in Ba Sing Se, the fact that Zuko is willing to destroy the world’s last hope for peace if it means he achieves his goal is selfish, but pitting him against the Fire Nation “cause” hardly proves Zuko selfish, since destroying the world for its own gain is literally the Fire Nation’s goal.

That’s the first point that needs to be made. Loyalty to a regime that is built on selfishness and hate cannot be said to be selfless in any sense of the word. So the idea that Zuko is selfish for being disloyal and Azula is selfless for being loyal to a fascist regime where she exists in the top %1 is completely backwards.

Second, although Zuko’s motivation for trying to capture Aang before Zhao is selfish from a worldly perspective, it’s also pretty backwards to label him as self-interested and disloyal to the Fire Nation because the reason he wants to capture Aang before Zhao is because this is literally the mission he was given by his father, the Fire Lord. Ozai gave Zuko this mission as a punishment for what he saw as disloyalty, and convinced Zuko that it was the only way to redeem his honor.

Zuko is motivated entirely by proving his loyalty to the Fire Lord. And since the Fire Lord has total authority over his nation, loyalty to the Fire Lord is loyalty to the Fire Nation. Moreover, Zuko is convinced that this is the only way that he can be loyal to his nation, because in all other ways, he is considered by his father to be a failure.

Zuko isn’t motivated by personal glory here, he’s motivated by a desperate need to prove that he’s not a failure to his country and his father, and he believes this because this is what Ozai’s abuse conditioned him to believe.

Zhao accuses Zuko of disloyalty but he isn’t calling Zuko out on anything. Zhao believes Zuko is disloyal because that’s what Ozai said Zuko was, and he also knows that this is a trigger point for Zuko and he wants to push his buttons. Zhao himself is being pretty hypocritical here because he dismissed Zuko’s quest for the Avatar as foolishness until he realized that Zuko had actually found something.

And this is where we get to the cognitive dissonance that is characteristic of both abusive people and fascist regimes. “Disloyalty” as defined by Ozai is not obeying and being a failure, so Zuko has to bring back the Avatar. “Disloyalty” as defined by Zhao is Zuko holding back information so he can achieve the mission Ozai sent for him. Ozai most likely sent Zuko on this mission in the first place on the assumption that it would not be achievable, and Zhao also thinks this until he realizes that Zuko has actually discovered something.

I’m sure that if Ozai found out that Zuko tried to impede Zhao from capturing Aang he would brand it as disloyalty, but I think Ozai also purposefully sent Zuko on an unwinnable mission AND was prepared to punish him for “disloyalty” for not succeeding even though that was exactly what he expected him to do. It was only luck that Zuko ended up finding Aang in the first place, and that’s one of the reasons why Ozai restoring Zuko’s honor feels empty in book three.

And here’s the thing, which I’ve said before in response to these bizarre Ozai/Fire Nation apologist takes. You don’t owe any loyalty to anyone who doesn’t have any loyalty or respect for you.

That’s what Zuko eventually realizes, and it’s what he’s beginning to realize as early as here, in the third episode, as seen in his outburst at Zhao calling his father a fool if he thinks the world will follow him willingly. If he thinks people will fall in line by being subjugated by terror and violence.

Zuko knows on some level that he’s stuck in an unwinnable situation and that his father and the FN are wrong, even if he can’t really articulate it yet. Kids are smart, and they know when adults are putting them in unwinnable situations. They also know right from wrong. Kids become frustrated when they can’t do the right thing, and when they can’t please an unpleasable adult that has authority over them, and this is very much what Zuko is doing here. The harder he tries to beat Zhao, the more “disloyal” he is to the Fire Nation; the more Zhao is able to best him, the farther he is from proving his loyalty to his father.

This is actually one of the ways the show sets the groundwork early on for Zuko’s redemption by

1) showing us that the Fire Nation is not worthy of Zuko’s loyalty

2) Showing Zuko being put into increasingly impossible and contradictory situations due to his attempts to remain loyal to the Fire Nation; eventually “screw this I’m out” starts to look more and more like a better idea.

Zuko already knew this, of course, even before the series began, but he buries it deep because of the need for his father’s love. It’s why he stood up in a war room full of adults and demanded to know how the leader of his country could knowingly send loyal soldiers to their deaths. What happened to those soldiers is entirely a parallel to what Ozai did to Zuko.

It’s amazing but also terribly ironic that so many Azula “fans” don’t seem to understand this, either, and try to prop up Azula by showing how loyal she is to a cause that, in the end, destroyed her, as it would have done to Zuko if he hadn’t gotten out.

Zuko is loyal to Iroh because he knows on some level even at the start of the series that Iroh is the one person who isn’t going to gaslight him or manipulate him or hurt him while telling him it’s for his own good. The one person who doesn’t feed him the fascist lie of personal glory and destructive nationalism and instead offers him truth, love and acceptance.

Azula I guess is “selfless” if you consider that her entire sense of self is tied up with pleasing her father, as Zuko’s was at the beginning, but that’s not an admirable trait, that’s just being abused. 

As far as being selfless in her loyalty to the Fire Nation, again, she’s in the top %1 and considers herself as having the right to rule and the right to conquer other nations in the name of the Fire Nation. So loyalty to the Fire Nation is about what she gains and what she believes is her right. From a personal standpoint she is entirely self-centered, as she is cruel and manipulative towards others and sees them in terms of how she can use them. That’s the main difference between her and Zuko, that Zuko actually cares about others, although he tries to shove this impulse down at the beginning of the series, whereas Azula’s cruelty and disregard for those around her that she exhibited in childhood grew as Ozai fostered it.

[sugamamacustard]

Let Me Help You (Part. 2)

Pairing:  Alpha! Toru Oikawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Issei Matsukawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Takahiro Hanamaki x Omega! Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, Hurt/comfort.

Request: Oh boy, here we go!

Anon: hi!! can we get more of the omega depression drabbles/one shots? i would really like to see mattsun’s version and other characters you can think of!! the more angsty the better ;)p.s. luv your writing <3 also stay healthy, safe, and drink water !!

Anon:  Can you make part 2 of let me help you please. if not it’s fine with Mattsun and Makki

Anon: Could you do part 2 for the let me help you with makki and mattsun please if not that’s fine this is also my first time requesting something so i’m kinda nervous💕 

(Don’t be nervous at all, you did amazing!)

Anon:  Mamas, can I order a continuation of let me help you?? Please?? I need some fluff after that hurt 💕💕💕🥺🥺🥺

(Mamas anon! :DDD)

Anon: omg i love the omega depression!! please continue with the rest of the third years or a pt 2 with oikawa’s !! i love your writing!!

@bohica160​: Could we possibly get a part 2 with Oikawa please?  👉 👈  🥺

And I think that was all? You guys just really wanted this, and who am I to deny you? 

Summary: Because of unseen circumstances, you drop, and you drop hard. How does your alpha help you/redeem himself? 

Author’s Note:  I kinda wanna post some self-indulgent OC stuff on here, but idk. It’s kinda crack-y and stupid. Also, we love to see a healthy relationship. Like Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa’s are so soft. Also, also, please note Hanamaki’s is heavily based off of my own experience with depression and the events after with my best friend, whom I will love and cherish forever. 

Requests: Open!

Part 1:  Here!

➵ You drop was actually out of anyone’s control.

➵ Omega drops rely heavily on hormone balances, much like depression, and it seemed like this month just wasn’t your month. 

➵It was hard to exactly pin point when it got bad, or when you started experiencing symptoms, as they were slow and not necessarily noticeable.

➵A missed lunch here, a small scent shift there. 

➵Small things that neither you nor Takahiro would notice. 

➵It was much like a rollercoaster, inching higher and higher until the drop would come. 

➵ Honestly, both of you thought you were fine, and since you were around both of your mutual friends (The Seijoh Team)  enough no one could really point it out. 

➵ It truly was a bad situation all around.

➵ You only really began noticing after a few days of ignoring lunch in a row. 

➵ It hit you when you were sitting in the library, stomach clutching with hunger as you scanned through a textbook. 

➵ You attempted to get up and go find Takahiro to go get something to eat, but you just...didn’t. 

➵ You couldn’t find the energy to stand, much less walk, and just stayed seated

➵ You just couldn’t move. 

➵Like a million bags of sand were tied to your hips weighing you to the chair. 

➵ You swallowed tightly, rolling your shoulders before stuffing your text book into your bag, trying to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. 

➵Deep breaths. Thats what you needed to focus on right now.

➵ But then you couldn’t. You were hyperventilating, and white-knuckling the edge of the table as your vision turned blurry and watery. 

➵ The cramping from your hunger combined with the sudden rush of emotions made you want to vomit.

➵ Before you could, you slung your backpack over your shoulder, bolting out of the library.

___

Laughter and chuckles were heavy as Takahiro gave a hearty chuckle at something Matsukawa said, shaking his head before taking a swig from his energy drink. His eyes darted to his phone every now and again, just checking to make sure you didn’t need him. 

You would always come first to him. 

When his screen lit up with your beaming face shining up at him, he quickly swiped to accept holding it to his ear, watching while the team laughed at Oikawa, who was shielding himself from Iwaizumi.

“Hiro?” 

“Shooting star?” His brows furrowed as he slowly began cleaning his stuff, straightening himself up so he could leave as soon as possible if you needed him; which, guessing by your home, you did. 

“I-I think something’s wrong.” You paused, making his heart drop. “I don’t know, but I think I need to go to the doctor, but, I know this is a lot so feel free to say no, can you-”

He didn’t let you finish. “Tell me where you are and I’ll come pick you up and drive you. Do you need me to call and book an appointment?” 

A few of his packmates turned with worried eyes, trying to send a non-verbal question. Well, for most of them. Oikawa was trying to whisper-yell his questions, Iwaizumi trying to shut him up. 

“I’m at the front of the school. I’ll just meet you at your car.” 

“I’ll be right there, shooting star. Stay safe, okay? I love you, and I’ll see you soon Omega.” Takahiro waited for your reciprocation and own farewell before hanging up, quickly standing and swinging his leg over the bench and grabbing his bag. 

“Makki-kun, is Y/N-chan okay?!” Oikawa screeched after him, actively crawling onto Iwaizumi, who looked like he was ready to commit first-degree murder. 

Makki threw up a thumbs up behind him, waiting till he was out of the cafeteria before sprinting towards the parking lot. 

He hoped, with every inch of his body, he didn’t lie to his captain. 

___

“Take your pills.” 

“Alpha, they taste horrid-”

“I don’t care, they make you feel better.” 

Takahiro watched you carefully, handing you two of the teal and white pills. The alpha was strict on very few things with you, but your health he did not fuck with. 

The appointment with your doctor went fine, with minimal blood work done, and you were sent off with a prescription for hormone balancing pills. You and Takahiro (Who was absolutely divine during the entire thing) were explained how the pills worked and why you dropped, all of which was simple enough to understand. Since then, Takahiro was insistent on you taking the pills in front of him. 

“Open.” Takahiro demanded, watching as you stuck your tongue out. He moved your head by your chin, checking the very corners of your mouth. “Lift your tongue.” 

You did so, showing nothing. He hummed in approval, letting go of your chin before pausing, pulling you close so you could hear his heartbeat. 

“Thank you for caring, Hiro.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling into your alpha’s neck, taking in his scent. 

“Thank you for telling me about this and letting me help you.”  He responded, pressing a sweet peck to your temple and reminding himself you were still here in his arms. And would be with him for a long, long time. 

➵ Your drop was a mix between miscommunication and little whispers in your ear.

➵ Honestly, there was a reason you were in a pack with minimal other omegas. 

➵ They grew catty and mean and vindictive if there was something they didn’t like.

➵It was one of their many flaws and strengths. 

➵You yourself had caught yourself bad-mouthing another omega to your alpha every now and again. 

➵ Though you hated doing it, at some point it was just second nature.

➵ You and Issei had good communication though, and very rarely did something as silly as jealousy come between you two.  

➵ whenever something was bothering you or your alpha you would talk it out.

➵ You both trusted each other completely. 

➵ If something felt off about another person, you were quick to mention it to the other. 

➵ However, sometimes things got complicated.

➵ Insecurities seeped through your walls that Issei kept strong for you.

➵And sometimes, small little whispers became hurdles and boulders pounding against your defenses and breaking them down. 

➵Leaving you open and stumbling. 

➵ And sometimes, because of this you forgot that you had back-up, an artillery that would fight for you at the drop of a hat. 

➵ And those moments, that ones were you were caught with your tail between your legs and ass in the air waiting to be fucked over, were when you truly crumbled. 

➵And though it broke you down and made you hurt, your artillery had your back.

___

“Issei, I was-”

You bit your tongue as you were roughly shoved to the side by Akina Harakashi, the omega throwing herself at your alpha. His face remained unmoved and his arms by his side. 

She was his science partner for the semester, and though Issei reassured you she was nothing more, you couldn’t help but internally whine at how she acted with him. It was no secret that she liked him, but since you and Issei kept you relationship on the down low, rumors were bound to pop up. 

And though you didn’t let it show, they poked and prodded at you. Make your skin crawl as you ventured deep into your own mindset. Thoughts that would plague your every move and drive your omega into overdrive as they tried fixing whatever you picked on in your own reflection. 

You shivered as she looked up to Matsukawa, who was busy focusing on entering his locker combo. 

“Mattsunnnn~ I’ve missed you!” Her voice was literal nails on a chalkboard to you. 

“I saw you twenty minutes ago.” Matsukawa hissed as his locker popped open. “I haven’t seen you recently though, pretty thing.” 

Your omega purred as Issei grabbed his textbook, closing his locker and pushing past Akina. He smirked down at you, intertwining your pinkies in the most discreet way possible before walking you to class. 

You glossed over his question when he asked you how lunch went. 

___

“Do you think Harakashi and Matsukawa are dating?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, have you seen how she hangs off of him?”

“I think they’d make such a cute couple!” 

“If Matsukawa doesn’t ask her out soon, he’ll loose her.” 

You kept your head down and scent blocking collar tight as you slowly crept through the hallway, exit in front of you. Honestly, you didn’t have the energy to continue on with the day, so you were leaving it the midst of lunch, where you could loose yourself in the crowd and disappear. 

You wanted nothing more than your alpha, but his last message had your eyes stinging. 

‘Harakashi asked me to meet her at lunch, so I won’t be able to see you. Eat something. At this point, I’ll even take junk food. Just get some food. I’ll see you after school.’

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did, but it stung you deeply. This was it. This was the downfall of your and your alpha’s relationship. You were blown off for Akina Harakashi at long last. 

The rational part of you wanted to defend Matsukawa, but every time you tried, the insecurities that had been bubbling within you spit towards the rational part of you and your omega, throwing any redeeming thought into the corner to rot. 

A part of you was angry. Angry with Matsukawa for letting this happen. Angry with yourself for not speaking up. Angry with your fucking stomach which groaned for food of any sort. Livid with Akina for trying to steal Mattsun. 

Angry at the world. 

You couldn’t really remember the last time you ate anything besides...air. The days all blurred together in one miserable run. 

“What did I say?” 

You glanced over at Matsukawa, heart leaping at the jump he gave you appearing out of nowhere, leaning on the wall beside you.  You huffed, turning away from him and leaving him to follow after you. He did so, jogging a bit to catch up. 

“You said I’d see you after school. This is not after school.” You snapped, growling at the alpha. He raised a brow, either in disbelief at your attitude or amusement.

“Omega. I said eat. This doesn’t look like eating.”  His longer legs gave him the chance to cut in front of you, face now set in anger. 

“You also said you had to meet with Harakashi. So scurry along to your new play thing.” You shoved past Matsukawa, trying to ignore the stinging in your eyes. 

“What are you talking about?!” Issei smartened up, grabbing your wrist when you tried leaving him behind yet again, now visibly irritated. Truth be told, he was meeting up with Harakashi to put an end to her insistent clinginess. To put her in her place, beneath you. 

She tried confessing to him before he even looked up, coming into the room with her arms outstretched already, yelling about ‘I knew you felt the same’ or something . He dodged her, sneering down at her and snapping at her to leave him alone or he’d go through the semester alone (Which he already talked to the teacher about, but she didn’t need to know about that). 

Hanamaki had been his eyes when he wasn’t there, reporting back to Matsukawa with updates on you. His latest? You had been missing from lunch for the better part of the week, and last he saw you were ditching the last half of this day. 

Which Matsukawa wasn’t letting happen, because if you went home right now, you wouldn’t come back. And he couldn’t live with himself if he let you drop. 

“I was meeting with Harakashi to tell her to piss off. You’re my omega. Why in the hell would I even want someone like her when I already have you? You are mine, and I fought for you. I don’t need a corner worker.” 

Any fight you had in you disappeared when you saw the small tears glazing your alphas eyes, making your own break free as you ran into his chest. His arms locked around you, holding as if you would slip away if his grip loosened. 

Which you just might’ve. Good thing he wasn’t planning on letting you slip. 

“Wanna go get food?”

“...Yea. Can we get nuggets?”

“Anything for my pretty omega.”

➵ Okay this one is super short, and I’m sorry! I just wanted to get this out for you guys!

➵ And I think you guys wanted a follow up of sorts for Oikawa. 

➵So here it is!

➵ Things didn’t improve over night. 

➵It took awhile, but it was worth it. 

➵ In time you and Oikawa reached a nice equilibrium.

➵ He wore his bond mark loud and proud and you made sure to tell him when you were uncomfortable with his fangirls and how close they were getting.

➵ In turn, you learned to slowly let go of any reservations you had on his loyalty. 

➵He wouldn’t have marked you if he didn’t want to devote his entire being to you. 

➵ This showed up when a girl, who you despised (With no hard feelings, since she hated you just as much) tried confessing to Oikawa. 

➵Toru, baby boy, shut her down the minute she opened her mouth. 

➵ He didn’t even look her way, instead searching for you and quickly brightening up when he saw you.

➵ If he had a tail it would’ve been wagging. 

➵ Things improved and everyone was all the better for it. 

➵ And Toru made sure to, not only apologize to Iwaizumi, but gift him a voucher for a free movie for him and his omega (who was having a hard time as well).

➵Things were looking up and you both were sure to  keep it that way!

___

“Kentaro, please don’t hurt Kindaichi!” Your pleas fell on deaf ears as you tried to stop the alphas from snapping on each other. 

It wasn’t that Kyoutani didn’t like or respect you, because he did-- you were like a second mom, but Kindaichi just got on every single one of his nerves. And then tried dragging you into it! Like, the audacity of this bitch. 

“Kyoutani!” Your alpha’s bark had both the blond and raven pausing, a careful glance making both back down as Oikawa heading towards you guys (Throwing a pile of confession letters into the trash on his way by without even looking; some point they would get the hint if he left the blatantly in the open). 

The blond growled lowly, sending you a quick glance before returning to practice. Oikawa let him, turning his glare to the instigator of the whole thing. The onion-headed pup hid behind your smaller frame, making your laugh. 

It was almost like that moment when dad’s pulled out their ‘behave or else’ voice. And in a way it was. 

“One of these days my pretty dove won’t be there to save you, Kindaichi.” 

“I know.” 

You and Oikawa sent a look to each before you laughed, moving so Oikawa and Kindaichi could have a ‘man to man’ talk. 

The pack was dysfunctional, and you almost let it go. 

You were thankful you didn’t and still had this family to come back home too.  All thanks to your alpha. 

“STOP MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT YOUR OMEGA SHITTY-KAWA.”

“I can’t help it, Iwa- IWA STOP HITTING ME- Y/N HELP-” 

You shook your head laughing, jogging to save said alpha. 

He was childish and arrogant, and sometimes got too far up his own ass, but he was yours. And you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[aquafaith]

My lengthy, angry ACOSF rant review.

Spoilers, TW for mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

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I loved ACOTAR. I still love ACOTAR. I always will love ACOTAR. But every book afterwards made me give up more and more. ACOMAF romanticized an abusive relationship and assassinated characters for the author's convenience. ACOWAR was a bunch of boring and inconsequential death scares. ACOFAS was all-round dreadful. And each book kept shitting on and pushing away Lucien for no reason.

I'd like to preface this by saying I hated Nesta too. I hated the way she treated Feyre in ACOTAR especially, and I wasn't even too excited for this book because I wasn't that keen on Nesta as a character.

Nesta's POV and her backstory changed my perspective. It does not excuse her actions. All Nesta stans can hold these characters accountable for what they do - trauma is a reason, not an excuse. I, and many others, sided with Nesta because of the way she's treated by everyone else in this book. Also, if you're going to hate Nesta for not teaching Feyre how to read and letting her hunt at fourteen, (which I did, and are very valid things to hate), AT LEAST hold Elain accountable too.

This book. This fucking book.

Shall we start with the intervention? Feyre on her little power trip thinks that her boyfriend that hates Nesta and Nesta hates back, Nesta's ex-best friend, and her possible mate who she never talks to should be at this stupid fucking intervention??? Excuse me???

Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre wouldn't shut up about how rich Rhysand is? Feyre literally has four or five houses and is always talking about how much jewelry and lingerie she can afford because Rhysand is so rich??? Well, Nesta has a few shots. So you know what Feyre does? Humiliates Nesta at this "intervention", TEARS DOWN HER HOME, and forces her to go to the Illyrian training camp.

That was the god awful premise for this book.

Did you think Elain wasn't there because she was against the "intervention"? Nope! She was packing Nesta's belongings without permission.

Remember in ACOMAF when it's made a big fucking deal that locking up a traumatised woman is extremely damaging? Well, when Nesta decides she doesn't want to be in Illyria, Feyre locks her in the House of Wind. Nesta can't fly, so her only way of leaving is down the TEN THOUSAND STEPS, that Feyre KNOWS Nesta isn't capable of climbing.

Feyre's pregnant. In ACOFAS she randomly decided that she wanted a baby to remember Rhysand by if he dies. Which doesn't make any sense because they made that stupid fucking death pact in ACOWAR. It's just SJM superimposing her pregnancy onto her early 20's protagonist. Ignoring the fact that Feyre isn't ready for a baby and Rhysand CERTAINLY isn't, and with a war just ended and another looming and so much trauma and a DEATH PACT are all such horrible circumstances to bring a child into, Feyre is already pregnant. Remember when SJM made a big deal about Fae babies being so hard to conceive, and Feyre said in ACOFAS they wouldn't have to worry for a long time because it can take years to conceive your first Fae child? Well it's been no more than 3 or 4 months and Feyre's already pregnant. Yep.

Also the birth will kill her. Because of course it will. Rhysand KNEW this, and still agreed to try for a baby.

There's no solution. Abortions don't exist for some stupid reason, and a C section would apparently kill Feyre?

(Wasn't this book supposed to be about Nessian?)

In ACOWAR, Cassian was on the battlefield with his entrails around his knees. Someone had to literally hold his guts in for him, and he's fine, but you're telling me a C section would kill Feyre?

Don't worry, this is just setting up the AWFUL ending to this book.

ACOSF amounts to Nesta being gaslit into believing her abusers are right. Her friends and family slut shame her and shame her for her lifestyle constantly. Cassian says it took him decades to work through some of his trauma, and he tried to drink and fuck it away too, but suddenly when Nesta does so it's heinous? Nesta's barely twenty five and she's expected to cope better than these ancient immortals.

Hell, didn't SJM write ACOMAF? Nobody expected Feyre to pick herself up so quickly. The IC (excluding Rhysand) respected her boundaries for the most part and understood when it was grief, trauma, and turmoil that made her angry, sad, want to be left alone, etc. But that's all forgotten here.

Amren also compares Nesta to the people in, and says she belongs in, The Court of Nightmares. You know, the murderers, abusers and rapists? This innocent woman who had a few shots and a bit of sex is on par with them, apparently!

The sex scenes.

SJM is scared to say vagina so she says sex.

She says seed to mean semen.

Apparently the word cunt turns SJM on. I just found Cassian saying that kinda cringe because I'm Bri'ish so the word cunt really isn't a big deal.

Back to the baby killing Feyre, because this is definitely what we all wanted from this book as indicated by the change in covers and format and title... Rhysand decides not to tell Feyre. He tells her friends and family, and tells them not to tell her.

SJM loves sweeping Rhysand's abuse from the first book under the rug and claiming it's always about Feyre's choice... where is that here, MAAS? WHERE IS IT?

Anyway, when Nesta rightfully decides to tell Feyre (although it is kind of out of spite), Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta.

And I believed him. With the way he treats his """mAtE tHaT hE lOvEs sO mUcH""" and all the people he's mindlessly killed before, do you really think he wouldn't kill the person who gave Feyre an inch of autonomy?

So what does Cassian do? His lover who he cares deeply about and suspects is his mate has received a death threat from tHe mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lORd iN hIsToRy.

Cassian simply gets Nesta out of the court.

EXCUSE ME?

He doesn't breathe ONE word to Rhysand about this. This Illyrian WARRIOR who fought with his GUTS HANGING OUT didn't dare step up to the hIGh lOrD who he considers his brother and sparrs and fights with all the time?

Cassian literally does nothing.

Was it not Rhysand himself who said Mated males are dangerous? Can kill anyone who looks at their mate? Can be dangerous simply leaving the house? Rhys and Feyre both pull the Mate card to justify their bad actions on the other's behalf... and Cassian just tried to get Nesta out of the court?

Also, this High King bullshit.

I swear to fucking god, if SJM DARES to make this abusive, power-tripping, mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lOrD eVEr, husband-insert of hers hIgH kInG, I will fight her in the street.

My beloved Lucien is in this book. Only for him to be used and shat on.

I really liked it when he calmed Cassian down with just a look though. Yes please fox man.

Helion is also in this book. Nothing to do with Lucien.

Eris is also in this book. ERIS. Lucien's eldest brother. The same one who abused him for years, but according to SJM he's slightly better, because at least he didn't agree to kill Lucien's lover. He betrayed his daddy that one time, therefore Eris is good. Y'know, the same Eris who abused Mor? Left her laying on the Autumn Court border with a nail in her womb? Well SJM is going back on her own canon to redeem yet ANOTHER abusive male, while continuing to demonize Tamlin for things he only happened to do when SJM decided the villain from the first book was sexy.

Nesta and Cassian are Mates.

Remember when Mates were supposed to be a rare and sacred thing? Now SJM dishes them out like Oprah.

I don't want these characters to be mates. I want to see them slowly fall in love. But SJM is incapable of writing that so she forces them together with the mAtInG bOnD. That's literally the only basis for most of these relationships, Feysand especially.

The only relationship where the bond would make sense is between Helion and The Lady of Autumn. Who still isn't named. But I will die on the hill that they're mates, I can feel it between them.

I wanted someone to die in this book. I predicted that it would either be Helion or Tarquin, but Tarquin isn't even in this one.

And the ending.

SJM can't write a decent climax, so she kills both Feyre and Rhysand for the second time. Yep.

The baby is being born which stupidly kills Feyre, and thankfully takes Rhysand with them.

Nesta decides to save them. Bad choice. But she decides to save them! Because she's so powerful and she ATE THE CONTENTS OF THE CAULDRON and she's CONNECTED TO THE MOTHER.

Do you know what happens.

Nesta loses her powers.

NESTA.

LOSES.

HER.

POWERS.

The powers we've hardly seen, the powers that were briefly mentioned and used ONCE in ACOWAR, then we saw like two flashes of in this book? They're GONE now. GONE SO NESTA CAN SAVE HER ABUSIVE SISTER AND ABUSIVE HUSBAND WHO ABUSES THEM BOTH.

Nesta is just an Amren now. They both fought for their powers, and had to give them up to save people who didn't deserve it. Now they're anticlimactically trapped in powerless bodies.

Also, and I can't BELIEVE I didn't originally include this - do you know what else Nesta TRADED HER POWERS FOR?

Illyrian anatomy so she can carry Cassian's baby one day.

EXCUSE ME?

I am so fucking SICK TO DEATH of the narrative that every woman needs a man and children to be happy. SJM clearly loves this because she's literally only keeping Amren and Nesta alive now to be sex objects to their partners and nothing else seeing as their POWERS WERE RIPPED AWAY FROM THEM, and now NESTA TRADED THOSE POWERS TO HAVE A BABY SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WANTS? Nesta does NOT strike me as a motherly type. She's the wine aunt, she and Cassian are the couple that go on holiday a lot and and babysit their nieces and nephews, but nope. Nesta HAS to have children.

The Feysand baby is called Nyx. That's just so underwhelming, you go from these huge, multiple syllable names like Amarantha and Morrigan and Lucien to Nyx? I get it's supposed to be unique but it's not even meaningful. It's just more shit-flavoured icing on the hAHa nIgHt uWu cake. I prefer Renesmée.

Nesta is wrong somehow. She says she's sorry as she's saving them. FOR WHAT? For being a little rude to Feyre as all sisters are? And rightfully hating your sister's abuser?

Oh yeah, remember in ACOWAR when Nesta took care of a comatose, starving Elain for months? Elain is randomly okay now because she takes care of her mental health the stereotypical way of baking cakes, and not drinking and fucking, which she shames Netsa for.

Remember the slut shaming, demeaning comments that the whole iNnEr cIrClE made about Nesta? They all expect apologies from her. For some reason.

Nesta has done nothing wrong. She coped with her trauma and minded her business in her own ways, and she's expected to apologise to the people who control and emotionally abuse her.

Nothing that any of these characters did to Nesta is right. Nesta wasn't okay at the end, this wasn't Nesta's healing story. This is Nesta being shamed and degraded until she submits.

Oh I can't believe I forgot to write this in my first draft of this review, do you know how Nesta "overcomes" her grief about her Father's death and her conflicting feelings about him and his life and her guilt? When she visits his grave for the first time, she takes Nyx.

NYX.

She holds NYX up to the grave and talks about how it's his grandson.

GO AWAY YOU STUPID DEMON BABY THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK.

Speaking of, it's revealed that Nesta was abused by her mother and grandmother in this book? Something we were all looking forward to is seeing more of the Archeron's mother seeing as Feyre was so young when she died, but... nope. She gets a few vague mentions, and this newly revealed abuse is entirely glossed over. Nesta was also actively groomed by an older man at 14. But SJM glosses over this because of course she does.

Finally, the bonus chapters.

My edition came with a bonus chapter from Feyre's POV. It was pointless and I hated it.

There's another bonus chapter from Azriel's POV. Once I'd finished this book, he was one of the few characters I still harboured a shred of respect for.

Then I read his bonus chapter.

This exists to purely objectify Elain.

Whether you ship Elain with Azriel, or Lucien, or neither, this chapter is disgusting. He thinks about her coming on his tounge, and other things simply just to please him.

He then dares to suggest that "the Cauldron picked wrong" in choosing Lucien as Elain's mate?

No Azriel, SJM picked RIGHT in not giving each Archeron sister a bAt bOy.

Rhysand does the only right thing he's ever done by telling Azriel to stay away from Elain, but then he has to ruin it by clarifying that it's only so they can manipulate and use Lucien more.

Oh, and Azriel wants to kill Lucien.

Need I remind you that Lucien respects Azriel? Lucien is another victim of the Night Court's needless, baseless torment, and Azriel is no exception.

Lucien stays well out of Elain's way because she makes it clear that she's not interested in a mate, but Azriel wants to kill him simply for being her mate.

Lucien has done nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING to warrant any of this treatment. From the bAt bOyS, from Feyre, from his family, from SJM, from the deluded part of this fandom that think he's done wrong. NOTHING.

All I liked about this book was the Lucien scenes (which is a given), ((although I hated the way everyone talks about him behind his back)), Nesta's relationship with the house, Emerie and Gwyn, the evidence that Gwynriel is endgame and subsequently Elucien, and the book love. Everything else was horrible. Oh, and Nesta hates Rhysand. I love that for her, because everyone else bows at his feet.

Oh yeah, when Nesta DARES suggest that Rhysand is an "arrogant, preening asshole" which I think is a compliment, Cassian can't take Rhys' cock out of his mouth for one second, and has to get mad at her for having an opinion. Don't even get me started on Azriel in that scene.

If each book after ACOTAR made me slowly give up, this book made me give up altogether. I cannot go on to support this victim-blaming, abuse-forgiving, misogynistic series. I've given up on SJM, and the only characters I care about anyone are Lucien, Nesta, Helion, and Tarquin. I'll continue to read this series to see if SJM redeems herself, but I'll be downloading them for free. I'm not giving this piece of shit any more of my money.

I hope we don't get the Lucien book. I don't want her to slaughter my fox in the way she slaughtered LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: I put the review on Goodreads!

[therealvinelle]

You've said before that you think Meyer is a good writer. I'm neutral to her myself but you're the first person in the fandom to say that that I've seen and I was wondering what your reasons were.

Sure thing.

First of, some referential links. In this post I explain why I like Meyer’s worldbuilding, and in this one I explain (in the last reblog - you can get away with skipping the previous posts) why I think her character creation is well done, and in this one I talk about why I like Twilight in the first place, though that post got a bit off-topic.

So, let me first do the disclaimer that I do not think Meyer is perfect.

Her greatest flaw, I’d say, is that what she intends to write isn’t always what ends up on page. Edward is for instance supposed to be the ideal man, chivalrous and the very antithesis of toxic masculinity. His relationship with Bella is supposed to be a love story on part with all the classics. Jacob, too, is intended as a dreamboat. Alice is the ideal BFF, Rosalie is the bitchy Regina George, Esme is the ultimate mother, and all the Cullen relationships are wonderfully happy. Aro is supposed to be a sinister villain and the Volturi are all corrupt.

Now, all of the above is how Bella perceives things, and I’m all for unreliable narrators. All narrators are, to a point, unreliable, and inferring things from fiction is one of my favorite things to do (as you can probably tell if you’ve been following this blog). However, so far as I can tell Meyer didn’t intend for Bella to have no clue what’s going on at any given time.

As it happens, I also think this is one of her strengths. This woman is living on a different planet, her mind is on a level I can’t follow at all, only spectate in silent wonder. What I’m saying is, no author in their right mind would write Twilight. No one would write Edward as delightfully unhinged as he is, for starters, not without toning him down significantly (just look at how the movies toned him down). To say nothing of how Bella would be a much more functional person, and in turn much less interesting. Aro would be an actual villain, and Twilight as a whole would not be so overwhelmingly bleak.

Her strengths come through in that she’s consistent about it, and while she interprets things differently than I do, she is still the creator of this bizarre universe and one who knows it intimately well. Does she think Edward is great, yes. Did she also write Midnight Sun without pulling any punches, also yes.

I’d put it this way, the flaw of hers that I’m trying to get at is that she creates this rich and horrifying universe and gets full credit from me for that, but she views it through rose-tinted glasses. Which in turn leads to some interesting writing and plotting decisions.

She has one other significant flaw that comes to mind. She’s not good at cutting things.

This goes for both scenes and plotlines. There’s a lot of filler in these books, from Bella making enchiladas in Twilight, to New Moon taking far too long in Jake’s garage and with Bella’s depression before things start happening again, to Breaking Dawn being 2/3rds filler (the wedding, honeymoon, and vampire euphoria especially come to mind.) There’s a lot of stuff in these books that weren’t necessary to the plot. The Host suffer from this as well.

To say nothing of the bigger things she should have cut, like Jake’s involvement in Breaking Dawn. He’d played out his part, Bella chose to become everything he hated, we were done. The book had more than enough story with Renesmée and the Volturi happening, and Jake’s involvement only served to lower the book’s overall quality. And introduce a pedophilic storyline, which, Meyer no.

Then there are decisions she made where I would have chosen differently, such as Bella returning to Forks at the end of New Moon.

However, this all being said, I am a very difficult person to please. Meyer was never going to tick all my boxes, and while I have points of contention with her, my overall impression is a positive one.

(Just to stress how difficult I am to please: I read Good Omens a few days ago. I liked it very much, but it wasn’t perfect. Shadwell, Madame Tracy, Newt Pulcifer and the Them could all have been cut, for starters.

I’m too critical of everything, and it’s not just Meyer that I think should have cut significant parts of their respective stories and made them into something fundamentally different.)

So, now that I’ve torn her apart, what do I like about her? What, for that matter, do I think constitutes a good writer?

To list a few things I like about her as a writer:

She’s good at writing Her prose is very good, her characters are interesting and engaging people, she’s very good at establishing a scene or a character, and she’s evocative. Her prose never bores me, and it makes me feel things.

She has good ideas Self-explanatory,  really. Her lore is extremely original, her characters are interesting, and she comes up with great backstories and worldbuilding. The Southern Wars, for instance, brilliant.

She’s consistent She’s described this herself - she doesn’t get to decide what her characters do, sometimes they do things she very much does not want them to do and she’s quite put out about it. And that, I think, is the key to why her characterization is so consistent - she doesn’t do that dreaded thing where the author forces a character to do what they must to force the plot along, like cramming a square through a triangular hole, she just lets her characters decide for themselves. As her characters are already delightful people, this works out beautifully (Edward conspiring with Jacob that they should forcibly abort Bella’s baby so Jake can then impregnate her comes to mind. Or Aro, whom she views as a powerhungry maniac, showing up at the battleground and being absolutely devastated about that fact.) as they never do anything they wouldn’t do, and their characterization does not change from one book to another. (Counterexample: look at how Kylo Ren in The Rise of Skywalker turns towards the light when we’re closing in on the end of the movie. It’s unconvincing, to say the least, and runs contrary to what has previously been established about him. The movie does not bother to explain why this happens now, what it is that’s so special about one chat with Han and a duel with Rey that makes him turn his life around, nor why it couldn’t have happened sooner. He is redeemed because the trilogy is nearly over, not because it made sense for his character.)

Her plotting is generally good Her plots make sense, I’m invested in them, and they’re reasonably adapted to her characters’ power levels (The clusterfuck that was the Department of Mysteries showdown in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is an example of the antithesis of that).

Of these virtues, I’d place the most emphasis on Meyer’s writing and character creation.

As for what makes a good writer…

It’s difficult for me to pin down.

It’s chiefly whether I think their writing is good, and that means prose, characters, and plot. As Meyer fulfills all of these three, that puts her in my “good writer” box. She’s not perfect, but she has earned her place as a published author.

More, I enjoy reading her books and care about the story and characters she creates. This is a matter of personal preference, but I’m down for what she’s putting out. It would be disingenuous for me to do that and then say “... but of course, she’s a terrible writer”, in part because I feel that’s become a bit of a disclaimer when it comes to Meyer. It’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes. Stephenie Meyer is a bad writer, everyone knows that, if you think otherwise you have bad taste. She has written things, I’ve enjoyed them all, and I’m giving her full credit for that.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book Blurb:

This is the story of how I became Anne of Greenville. It’s also the story of how I found my true true, and how I needed to maybe come to Greenville, of all places, to make that happen.

In this modern reimagining of Anne of Green Gables, the first YA novel from Melissa de la Cruz Studio, Anne is an ABBA-loving singer/actor/writer of disco-operas, queer, Japanese-American who longs to be understood for her artistic genius. Recently relocated to middle-of-nowhere Greenville and starting at a new school, Anne has a tendency to A) fall in love quickly, deeply, and effervescently and B) fly off the handle in the face of jerks. Both personality quirks quickly come into play when the soccer team boos the premiere of her disco performance, which—in a roundabout way—introduces her to her new BFF, Berry, and she soon after meets the girl of her dreams, Gilly.Falling quickly into that age-old trap of ignoring the best friend for the new crush, Anne soon becomes embroiled in a series of dramatic and unfortunate events, and quickly finds herself wrapped up in a love triangle she never expected. Is she MTB with Gilly? Or is Berry her true soul mate? Only time (or 304 pages) will tell.

Review:

A modern day reimagining of Anne of Green Gables with sapphic love interests? Sign me up. The story follows Anne Shirley, a half-Japanese American who is the adopted daughter of two moms. When her mom gets a new job as vice principle in Greenville, Anne’s entire life is going to turn upside down as she is faced with homophobia, racism, and cruelty. This story did not pull it’s punches on the homophobic and racist cruelty of some of these students, like they committed crimes, literal hate crimes against this poor girl. This book was less Anne of Green Gables and growing up and more Anne vs homophobia and racism for a majority of the story. Anne herself was pretty spot on and the author did a good job of capturing the essence of Anne Shirley but in modern day. We get Diana Barry as Berry, an artistic and cute new best friend and Gilly aka Gilbert a beautiful but not great person. The folks of Greenvile were not great, and the whole “small town, small minded and closed off individuals” was definitely exaggerated. The novel kind of ends at a point where your kind of like “okay but how will Anne handle the real bigger issues in the school” and against the extremely problematic students who have it out for her and it’s kind of left unresolved how Anne’s treatment from the townsfolk is resolved. This wasn’t really a retelling of Anne of Green Gables so I felt it was a bit disappointing and I would definitely recommend reading the trigger warnings before going into this book. There was a romance in this book but there was never a question of who the romantic person would be because one of the love interest was absolutely not redeemable and definitely not a good love interest. Overall, I dont think I would recommend this for fans of the classic or of Anne of Green Gables...but I do give it props for trying to be a modern day retelling of a classic.

*Thank you Netgalley and Disney Publishing Worldwide, Melissa de la Cruz Studio for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[oddlykilledghosts]

A Review I Wrote About "You" by Caroline Kepnes from high school

Warnings: very-unfiltered, basically a stream of thoughts, remember this is me from high school so, cursing, un-edited

Before I even start I want to address the fact that only once this book was turned into a show people suddenly starting romanticizing the narrator, Joe, who is not only a pin point in the toxic masculinity map but even states himself in the book (trying to defend himself) that if anyone else peeped in on his actions they would call him a "nut". He loves Beck in his demented way, maybe. That does not make him in any way desirable for his "nice" gestures because his crazy cancels it out. Nor does it mean Beck was in any way in a healthy relationship with him. If you think I'm wrong please leave.

Unlike the show, the book does not jump straight away into Joe's "evil" antics. Spoiler Alert: It takes a very very long time in the book for Joe to finally get rid of and kill Benji. In the show it's one of the first two episodes sooooo...I can kind of understand more of your brain thinking "hmm maybe he's still a good guy" if you're reading the book (and even then it's a stretch). If you're watching the show and think that I'm sorry but you don't kill people, not even for "love" or whatever bullshit Joe was feeling. This is a point for the book that I really admired. It normalized Joe more than the show. Like he wasn't meant to kill straight away. Like he didn't go so quickly to the darkness. Almost like it excuses his behavior. The author, Kepnes, did a really good job of this without turning Joe into an unreliable narrator. You want to redeem Joe and every time you come close to thinking you might forgive him you can't and you aren't supposed to. However, if you do redeem Joe that's against the point of what Kepnes was trying (and succeeding) to make. Yes, he's  a character and you think he's interesting and that's okay (it's still only a book/show guys) but as a real person he's disgusting and honestly vile (sorry Snape). Still Kepnes did an amazing job of clearly expressing Joe's creepy and weirdly "right" thoughts in his own way without making it seem like Joe didn't even believe himself, which is hard to do.

Another thing I noticed online was how many people dislike Beck (not you Elizabeth Lail you're gorgeous and amazing). At first I too hated her and now I'm confused as to why. Did Kepnes write her this way and if she did why (and if she did I seriously love you Caroline Kepnes you're a genius)? Maybe we're all jealous of Beck. This girl who seduces guys like it's nothing (and her and her friends talk about every sex-scandel EVER). A girl who everyone is obsessed with. A girl with a cool social media and good following. A girl that has a life that isn't perfect, but don't most of us still want it more than our own? We all want to be watched. We want attention. Everyone is shaming Beck for the same thing. We slut-shame Beck for sleeping with guys. For master-bating in her own home. But how do we know this? No one is shaming Joe for stalking her. For looking into those private and intimate moments that weren't meant to be for his eyes. He violated her life and we shame the victim. Is this how our society is conditioned? We hate her for her friends but I don't really hear anyone shaming Peach for the arsenal of Beck porn on her computer (the only thing I really condone Joe looking into cause that is fucked up). And Annika (Chana) and Lynn are quite harmless...not the best but still better than nothing. The only thing that would be okay to shame Beck about would be lying about her dad's "death". Still, he messed shit up for her and let me know when you haven't needed to put things in the past. Having him in her life would just make things worse so I get it girl. Still, fucked up. You (metaphorically) killed your dad, Beck.

Also btw I'm pretty sure Paco doesn't exist in the book unless I read a totally different book.

I kind of already addressed this but there is so much more to go into about everything people like about Joe is FAKE! "Yeah but they were cute and they like the same things." Uh huh, they have a couple things in common but guess what? Joe stole her fucking phone. He read every text. Every email. Every post. Every Tweet. Who she called. Where she was. He knew was she said two hours before a date. He knew what mood she was in twenty-four seven. He knew what terms she was on with her friends (Peach!). He manipulated his way into a relationship with her based on this information. None of those "oh but I ship them moments" is justifiable once you realize this. Joe would'e never gotten into her heart (or her pants) if he didn't know any of this. In both the show and book right when Joe is about to blow his chance he remembers something of her or her friends THAT HE SHOULDN'T KNOW and it saves him. If he wasn't a vicious and ugly person he would've never gotten to date Beck. Which is both sad and ironic. I'm sorry but your romantic ideal of this character only exists because he's psychotic...he'd be his creepy little gremlin self if he didn't slink around like a pissing homeless person "engine engine number nine on the new york transit line" (haha references).

Just because people don't understand I'll add it one more time YOU DON'T KILL PEOPLE NOT FOR LOVE NOT FOR ANYTHING SO FUCK OFF

Now to get to the writing...ITS REALLY GOOD. I have a very low attention span and even if I like a book I'll be checking to see what page I'm on. Not with this book. I want to keep turning the page until I'm two-hundred pages in and it's almost two am but I keep going. That's how good it is. The dialogue is real and it flows. The character feelings feel realer than actual life. Beck's forever turmoil in life cuts you (maybe that's why we don't like her). And I've said this before but Joe's "feelings" really want you to make him seem reliable, remarkable, and redeemable (unremarkable people don't go around wondering if they're remarkable).

Now the thing that gets progressively worse is Joe's inability to know that he's in the wrong but still feel like he's doing the right thing. This happens when he follows Beck to the Dickens festival and he thinks she's spotted him. He knows he messed up. He did the awful thing and the only time he realizes it's "wrong" (I put quotations because he still sees himself as the better person) Is when he thinks he's caught. The same thing happened when he thought he killed Peach in the park. When he realized he did not kill her but only harm her, he feels a moment of panic before realizing she didn't know it was him. He feels justified after he gets away with it. A classic narcissistic move.

Narcissists love playing-

And that is where I stop because I read this book like two months ago and now I forget everything. Thanks for reading. (aka past me from years ago)

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."