#incapable of naming back then and only fully getting out of in my 20s after falling out with all of them)

[fulgursmediaanalysisdrama]

Nihilism is a positive, life affirming philosophy. Something my christian mother couldn't, or didn't want to, understand

And Schoppenhauer is interesting but only worth anything when you conclude he is wrong

Berserk as a Nietzschean Tragedy — Art, Morality, Affirmation by Jonas Čeika

[ptergwen]

love is more than a word

w/c: a very ouch 3.6k

warnings: so so so much angst and an unhealthy (ish) relationship

summary: after nearly four years together, peter has stopped trying

a/n: listen y’all i don’t know what came over me when i made this but i think it’s the saddest thing i’ve ever written? uh try to enjoy tho

-

you never thought this would happen, but you’re getting tired of peter. it isn’t your fault. that cliche it’s not you, it’s me line doesn’t apply here.

at first, you actually did find yourself believing the it’s me part. you’d came to the conclusion that you expect too much from peter. he goes to class, he works, patrols, sometimes parties, takes you out when he can. he’s got a lot going on for a full time college student, which is a busy life to lead on its own.

it’s why you don’t complain when he wants to spend the night in and order a pizza instead of cooking together like you’ve been wanting to try. it’s why every time your friends ask you two to hang, you have to reluctantly explain that peter is passed out at eight o’clock on a saturday.

there’s a lazy “wanna make out?” some nights, if peter isn’t yawning when he steps through the front door. even that has lost its enjoyment. kissing peter doesn’t give you the rush it used to, the taste of his strawberry chapstick not flooding your senses and intoxicating you. it’s become predictable. comfortable. boring.

peter is boring.

you’ve slipped into unspoken routine. say your hello’s, work on separate assignments in different rooms. peter eventually yells something like “babe, you hungry yet?” across the apartment, his passive way of asking you to make dinner. you usually order takeout because why make an effort if he doesn’t?

you might watch one of the ten movies peter has liked since before the start of your relationship. he’ll usually fall asleep during it. no surprise there. his overpacked schedule exhausts him, which you’ve talked to him about spreading himself too thin. peter is too nice and can’t say no, so this is where it leaves him.

the main reason you’ve stayed with him is that he can’t take care of himself. he’s clueless about paying the bills, sorting his laundry, simply remembering to drink water. peter wouldn’t be able to go a week without you. he even says it himself.

“crap, i totally forgot about these,” when you picked up his special ordered textbooks from your school library. “can food go in the garbage disposal?” a rare time you didn’t wash the dishes. “thank you, y/n/n. you’re literally a lifesaver,” whenever you do a task for him that someone in their 20s shouldn’t need assistance with.

you didn’t used to mind much. he watches over the city every night. you felt you should return the favor. spider-man could use some help, too. after the almost four years you’ve been together, peter has become completely dependent on you. it only got worse when you moved in together your junior year. you’re concerned how he’ll manage later in his adult life.

you’d think he’d be a little more passionate about your relationship considering how much he needs you. you know peter still loves you, of course he does. that’s not what the problem is. he’s become content with the mutual feeling, so he doesn’t try anymore. he expects the spark to keep itself lit.

no more random joke of the day texts that he used to send you. he stopped surprising you with your coffee order in the morning, the one that he memorized the first time you two went to a starbucks. what you initially found most endearing about peter was that he remembered every little thing you told him.

he put whatever energy he had into showing you that he listened. he’d do it all with rosy cheeks and that toothy smile of his. it seems now like he’s under the impression that being in a long term relationship means none of that matters anymore. there’s no need to impress you, keep you guessing, make you feel special.

tonight is your breaking point. as you go over all of this in your head while peter lays peacefully next to you, you can’t take it. you’ve been making so many excuses for him. you lie to yourself. you’re desperate to believe this is okay and normal and you can work this out, and you can love whatever version of him this is.

but, you can’t. you can’t do it. you need to tell him now because if you sleep on this, you’ll end up feeling bad and be stuck under these suffocating blankets forever.

“peter?” you whisper his name, your back turned to him in bed. you haven’t cuddled each other to sleep in a while. his arms don’t make you feel held now, they make you feel trapped. you’ve been forcing yourself to ignore his look of hurt when you reject his open embrace.

“peter?” you speak louder after a moment of silence, except for his occasional snores. a loud one escapes him before they stop altogether. his eyes stay shut as he mumbles out a, “uh... huh?” your heart is thudding through your entire body. you take a breath in from your nose. “i wanna break up.”

the breath you let out next is one of relief, those three words that have been scratching your throat for months finally out. peter slowly turns his head over his shoulder. he blinks rapidly at your motionless figure. you’re still not facing him.

“what?” is all he says. his voice is surprisingly steady, the confession not yet registering with his sleepy mind. his eyes are burning into you. “i wanna break up,” you repeat and squish your face further into your pillow. peter suddenly sits up, flicking on the lamp on his side. he tries to sling an arm around you. you move further away until you’re at the edge of the bed.

“i’m serious, peter. everything we had, it’s gone.” your words cut through him harder than literal knives he’s been stabbed with. “i- i don’t understand. where is this coming from?” he rakes a hand through his mess of curls. you turn onto your back, looking up at peter. his eyes are fixed on your lower half.

he’ll most definitely cry if he meets your eyes. he really doesn’t want to cry, not ever again when you won’t be here to make him feel better.

“it’s been coming,” you almost scoff at him as you prop yourself up against your pillows. peter’s teeth tug at his lower lip. “all we do is this.” you gesture to your bed, slapping your hand down at your side. “i get tired,” he speaks quietly, refusing to look at you. “i know you do, peter. i know, but you’d be a lot happier if you ever listened to me.”

your statement comes off as condescending to him. he works up the courage to look you in the face. “are you kidding? all you do is boss me around, and i take it. i’ve never once complained.” anger is coursing through his veins and voice. at the situation, that he’s about to lose the one stable part of his life. you’re getting pissed, too.

“that’s because you can’t do anything yourself!” you throw the blankets off you and swing your legs over the bed in one motion. peter hops out of bed entirely. “my whole life, i’ve been on my own half the time,” he spits as he comes over to stand in front of you. “sorry for taking you up on your offers to help.”

your peter would never spew that shit out. he wouldn’t guilt you for something he’s in the wrong about. this peter takes you for granted. he has no clue how fucked he’d be without you.

the first time you spoke to peter was on your way to history 227. you’d recognized him from your class, much more interested in the pretty boy taking notes with his tongue stuck out than whatever war your professor would lecture about.

he was carrying some books, a pencil case that didn’t fully zip, and a five subject notebook. you watched him do his balancing act through the halls until his legs started to wobble. a knowing smile on your face, you tapped his shoulder. it was a gentle one so you didn’t scare him and make all his things fall over.

“can i carry something for you?” you laughed out and pushed one of your backpack straps up on your shoulder. peter only stared at you, his doe eyes prompting you to reach for his pencil case. “uh, no, it’s fine. i got it. see?” he proved that to you by hiking everything up in his arms. he gave you a smile of his own.

“are you sure? we’re going to the same place,” you’d checked again and pointed at his impressive pile. “i’m not gonna steal your sharpies.” “really, i’m fine,” peter insisted with a heart clenching chuckle. “you can have one, if you want,” he offered and attempted to unzip his case, one handed. you put your hand over his to stop him.

“wait until we get to class,” you let go of him, leaving the tips of peter’s ears a shade of pink you’d later fall in love with. “i’ll sit with you.”

peter was once determined to do things on his own, to be self-sufficient. it used to be something he was proud of. now, he’s completely incapable of holding his independence.

“we’re done, peter.” your tone is short, you getting to your feet. “you’d probably forget how to fucking breathe without me, but call it bossing around, i guess,” you laugh bitterly and go over to your drawers. peter’s face falls as he grabs your wrist, stopping you when you pass by him. “where are you going?”

no answer. you pull yourself out of his grasp with your lips pressed into a stern line. peter follows you step by step over to the dresser. “wait, wait. don’t leave, baby. please,” he begs you, getting onto his knees beside you. you’re pulling random clothes out as quick as you can. a science t-shirt peter outgrew is in your hands.

peter used to give you all his old clothes. the signature smell of his cologne lingered no matter how many times you washed them. they kept you calm on nights he was out late patrolling or away on missions. peter would sport a smirk whenever you wore them out in public, pulling you closer to him and complimenting the look.

it started when he was packing for his first mission since you two had begun living together. he’d realized he became too buff to fit in some shirts. remembering how many times you’d giggle at their funny sayings, peter gave them to you. you threw one on and thanked him with a peck on the cheek. it became your tradition.

peter would set off for a new continent, but a piece of him would stay home with you.

the stretched out hoodies and ripped sweatpants just sit in your drawer now. another meaningful thing discontinued. whatever he doesn’t want goes to may for donations now. the memory of what they used to mean to you makes a fit of rage burst through you.

you slam down his ‘find x’ shirt in the space between his knees and yours. you’re on a mission of your own this time. you aren’t going anywhere until you get rid of all the stuff that went from him to you.

“y/n, don’t do this. i- i love you. i love you.” peter chokes out, tears filling his eyes. his vision is clouded while you toss more clothes to your side. “i love you, y/n/n,” he whimpers again, and this time you briskly push the drawer shut. the whole dresser shakes. this is the most emotion either of you have shown in the past few months of your relationship. it’s a little too late.

“love is more than a word, peter. you have to back it up with actions.” you’re doing your best not to cry. the memories of how loved peter made you feel play in your mind. he briefly wipes under his eyes and shakes his head. he’s so oblivious. “i thought i- i did.” “exactly, you did. you gave up at some point.” your voice gets weaker as a tear drips down your chin.

you didn’t plan on breaking down when you imagined this moment. part of you wishes you could give him another chance. most of you knows it wouldn’t do any good for you or peter. you’re not right for each other anymore. he outgrew some sweatshirts, you outgrew him.

that takes you all the way back to it’s not you, it’s me. it’s really both of you.

for the last time, you pull peter in for a hug. the two of you need this. he loops his arms around your back, keeping them loose around you as he tucks his face into the side of your neck. you’re a mix of tears and sharp breaths with your chin on his shoulder. you bring a hand up to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of curls.

he sobs right into your ear, effectively destroying whatever composure you had left.

even though you’re not in love with peter, you haven’t stopped loving him. somewhere inside of him is the goofy boy who asked you out on a post-it during class. the kindhearted man who gave so much of himself to the world and saved enough for you. the one whose fingertips left goosebumps on your skin with every touch.

seeing him like this, having caused it feels like a dull pain rippling in every part of your body. you’ve been there to soothe him during countless breakdowns over the years. you managed to stay strong for all of them. this is the only exception. he lost people, felt down about life, made mistakes. you were there to pick up each piece and put them back together.

the one mistake peter made that you can’t fix is not loving you right. you became his rock, his anchor whenever he let grief and sadness rule over him. you’d get him back to himself. he could’ve at least bought you flowers once in a while, or done anything that showed his gratitude. every iteration of awful put together isn’t enough to describe how he feels.

“i’m so- i’m so fucking sorry, baby. i don’t deserve you. i never have,” peter murmurs as he cries, wetting your skin that his face is still pressed into. your fingers pull roughly at his hair. hot tears overflow from your own eyes. “i should’ve done more.” his voice cracks on the last word. “that’s all i wanted to hear, pete,” you breathe out and pull away from him.

“does that mean you’ll stay?” he croaks, arms still wound around your body. his eyes are hopeful when they lock with yours. a frown pulls at your lips. “only for tonight. i should... one of us should sleep on the couch.” “oh,” his voice is gravelly, so he clears his throat. “i’ll do it.” you’re not going to fight him on it for once.

peter removes his arms from your waist, you sitting back down on your thighs. you give him a blink and you’ll miss it smile because you can’t keep one for long. it’s to let him know you’re not mad. you were at the start of this conversation, then he took accountability. you also came to terms with the fact that the downfall of your relationship was a joined effort.

there are more factors than peter not giving you what he should have. time, different goals, new outlooks on life. you can’t hate only him because a whole bunch of things lead to this.

instead of a smile, since he physically can’t put one on his splotchy face, peter brushes the pad of his thumb over the corner of your lips. he gets up to leave the room, but you stop him with a “wait!” he freezes in front of you. you get out a hoodie from his pile of old clothes and stand up. “it’s cold.” you put it in his hands, earning a grin that he didn’t think was possible.

“thanks, y/n,” peter sighs and holds the hoodie against his chest. “goodnight. um,” this is the part where he’d usually say i love you. “sleep well, okay?” the replacement stings for both of you. you’ll have to learn to fall asleep without hearing that phrase first. as much as you didn’t feel it anymore, you’d become used to it. “you too, peter. night,” you say softly.

you head back to your bed while peter walks out the door. he glances at you once, and you’re already settling under the covers. he shuts the door behind him before finding his way to the couch.

your bed has always seemed too small. it’s gigantic without peter. you aren’t sure how you feel about that yet.

peter lays across the couch, the hood that doesn’t quite fit him pulled over his head. he’s only wearing it because you gave it to him. you doing that not even five minutes ago was how you backed up your love with actions. it’s so easy. silent tears spill from his eyes at the realization.

he wishes on every star that he could’ve figured out he wasn’t doing enough sooner. you’d be together right now, had he just caught on. there was a time he prided himself on knowing you fully and completely. how to turn you into the shy one with certain combinations of words, what your schedule was each week so he could plan his free time around it.

your relationship became something he thought would last unconditionally. if only he was able pinpoint the exact moment he went wrong.

you’re right in the other room. he can go in there and bawl, plead for you to take him back. how could he do that and claim to love you, though? you’ve made it clear you‘re over him.

the best way for peter to show you he loves you is by letting you live your life, without him in it.

-

you don’t see peter again for weeks. he moved back in with may, and you got to keep the apartment. you were the one who took all the care of it, anyway.

your semester ended at the perfect time because peter isn’t in any of your new classes. the city is too big to bump into each other. you’re free from the hold he had on you, which would’ve been four years long since yesterday. you’ve been good at picking up his broken pieces for too long, and now it’s time to pick up your own.

for all the hangouts you missed on his behalf, you made up for it. you called mj the day after your breakup and met for lunch. she never explicitly said it, but she took your side. peter had a feeling because when he had the same idea as you, to lean on his friends for support, she never reached out.

betty is indifferent, ned stays cordial with you. his real loyalty is to peter. you can’t blame him.

peter hasn’t been doing well since you broke up. he’s not eating enough, he can’t focus on work of any kind. you were right when you said he would forget how to breathe without you. he often wonders how you’ve been.

he finds out today.

you’re walking around campus, heading in the direction peter just came from. he has a class in the building your last one was. the two of you are on the same sidewalk, opposite sides. he almost doesn’t recognize you.

mj is on one side of you, a guy he’s never seen before with an arm around your shoulders. you’re all laughing about whatever dumb thing your professor said during the lecture. your hair, which is done in a new style, flows behind you in the spring breeze. a smile takes place on your glossy lips. the smile is directed towards that guy. your new boyfriend, peter assumes.

you look amazing, and not only physically. you seem happy with your small group of people. peter hadn’t been able to give you that happiness in years, so it’s nice to see you got it back somehow.

he must have stared too long because you notice him. you fall behind mj and your potential boyfriend, both of them wrapped up in discussing your next project. peter stops walking. you do the same. he’s not sure if he upset you, or what’s going on. his instincts tell him to apologize. his mouth stays closed.

that infectious smile of yours appears once again. you thought about peter yesterday, it being your anniversary and all. you’d only let yourself remember the good things. they outweighed the bad ones when you look back on everything.

“aye, grandma! get over here!” mj calls to you, your boyfriend nudging her side. “take your time, y/n/n. i’m not in a rush to write seven long ass pages.” you laugh to yourself at the two of them. peter fiddles with the zipper on his jacket. it’s from the drawer of things you used to wear. “one sec!” you yell back.

“hey,” you turn to face peter, who’s giving you a tight lipped smile. “how’ve you been?” “i’m okay. just, you know,” he shrugs and clasps his hands behind his back. there’s a short silence before peter says, “you seem good. really good.” he smiles for real this time. “yeah, i am. i hope you are, too,” you tell him and genuinely mean it.

you’d like to catch up soon, but it’s not right yet. you both need more time. “i’ll see you around?” you’re already starting to walk, backwards so you can see peter. “uh, sure. bye,” he gives you a quick wave and continues on his way.

you get back to mj and your boyfriend, his arm returning to your shoulders. they waited for you by the stoplight. “what’d ya get up to over there?” he teases, mj suspiciously watching your face for any tells. you carefully think through your answer with a grin. “love.”

[hyetomi]

local florist! jungwon

pairings: gn! reader x jungwon

genre: fluff ! just fluff ! acquaintances to friends / lovers ? idk but it's hinted that their relationship will change in the future

warnings: none

word count: 960 words

notes: i got sidetracked ... so here's a jungwon as a florist au !! inspired by his vlive with cactuses and a prompt i started on twt ! im sorry for any mistakes i wrote this in like 30 mins

"So… what's wrong with my Spider Plant?" you asked, fidgeting with your sweater's sleeves as a nervous habit of yours.

"Alright so," the florist in front of you said, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he fiddled with your plant. He lifted his head after examining it and continued, "I don't know." 

He looked at you, staring into your eyes. You stared at him back blankly. It was silent for several seconds as you tried to comprehend what the boy said. Only when his words fully registered in your mind did you start to freak out.

"What do you mean 'I don't know'? Aren't you a florist?" you shouted in panic.

"I'm new! And I was left in charge by the owner because he has some family matters to attend to!” he retorted. “I literally just started working on the day you came and got your plant! That was like…”

He stared into the ceiling as he tried to recall the day he saw you buy your beloved Spider Plant. You stared and frowned at the boy 一 Jungwon, as seen on his nametag 一 as he tried very hard to remember. Honestly, it seemed as if he had already forgotten about your problem. For a person who was supposed to be helping others with plants, he was terrible at it.

“2 weeks ago! Speaking of, how did you manage to kill your plant within 2 weeks?” he asked with a grin, his adorable dimples showing, only for it to falter when he saw your expression. “Did I get the time wrong?”

“Listen, Jungwon-” you started, but was cut off.

“How did you know my name?” Jungwon questioned, looking at you suspiciously.

“You’re wearing a name tag.”

“Oh.”

“Alright. Listen, Jungwon.” you tried again. “I just want my poor Hank to be healthy again. If you don’t know anything, I’d be better off searching on Google. And, by the way, you have no room to speak about my incapabilities to take care of Hank. I see you tripping over air while trying to reach your canteen table, although that's not too relevant with the topic.”

“How did you know that?” Jungwon asked you, looking at you suspiciously once again.

“We go to the same school. We’re in the same grade, you fool.” you answered him with a flat face, not amused with his words.

“Oh.” Jungwon mumbled, trying to recall whether he had seen you in school or not.

“I’ll give you time to process this information while I search for ways to revive my Hank.” you said, trying not to snicker at his expression.

Meanwhile, Jungwon was trying exceptionally hard to recall whether he had seen you in school. He blames it on his friends. Maybe if it weren’t for them being so hard to control, he would have remembered you. Especially since you were in his grade. How embarrassing of him. 

Honestly, he has never really shown any interest in anyone at school, so he has never bothered to remember the people around him. Except for his friends (he’s not so interested in them either) and his friend’s (namely Sunghoon) childhood friend. What’s their name again? They were very interesting. Actually, to think about it, they looked exactly like you! What if-

“Oh my god. You’re Sunghoon hyung’s childhood friend.” he blurted out.

You laughed. You laughed loudly. 

Jungwon was very embarrassed. How did he not remember you? He slowly sank onto his stool and hid his face between his hands, brown hair flopping onto the table. He knows his face and ears were as red as Rudolph’s nose, it could’ve brought a red rose to shame.

“You don’t have to hide, I can understand why you don’t remember me!” you reassured the poor boy in front of you and tried to stop your laugh, which you failed to do. “Earlier, I didn’t remember your name either, you know.”

“But still… it’s embarrassing!” he wailed, his words muffled by his hands. You laughed harder, making the boy shrink further into his seat.

“Well, you can make it up by helping me heal Hank. I just found out what’s wrong with it. I’ve been making it face direct sunlight.” you explained. “But apparently, Spider Plants aren’t supposed to have the sunlight directly on them.”

“Didn’t Mr. Yoon tell you exclusively to not do that?” he inquired, lifting his head to face you.

You were silent for a few seconds as the boy snorted at your guilty expression.

“Anyways, we need to soak it for a while.” you told him, pretending like you didn’t hear his previous statement.

“I’ll do it, give me Hank and I’ll soak it.” he offered as he lifted the pot off the table.

Jungwon took large strides towards the back of the shop as you watched him carry your cherished plant and tried to revive it.

“My name is Y/N, by the way!” you shouted after him. You walked over to the stool where Jungwon was previously seated and sat on it while you waited for the boy to finish.

“Well, Y/N, let’s get ice cream after this while we let Hank soak! I’m closing in around 20 minutes.” he suggested as he walked back to the front desk.

You thought about it for a while, before agreeing.

“That’s my seat, by the way.” he teased, earning an eye roll in return.

"I'll let you get your stool back. Only because you're cute." you said nonchalantly, smiling when you saw his cheeks bloom and how he tried to hide it by face-planting on the desk.

Let's just say that the flower shop did not get any new customers because a loud, high-pitched scream scared them away.

(And you had an amazing date hangout afterward.)

[alecxaheart]

Sunshower | Lee Felix Oneshot

✎ Genre : Friends to Lovers AU, Idol AU, Fluff, Angst

✎ Pairings : Lee Felix X Reader

✎ Word Count : 2.5k words

✎ Synopsis : We all know that sunshines together with the rainfall makes a rainbow. And that is exactly like how you fell for the freckled sunshine.

✎ Warnings : Explicit Language

✎. . . Sudden change of plans for the title. :P Enjoy!

In an early afternoon, Felix had to stop by for lunch at this wonderful bakery near the Hangang Park. Where they serve many delicacies such as bars, breads, desserts, cookies, muffins, and more. His personal favorite was their fudgy brownie bites, so favored that he's inspired to make one of his own.

As soon as he opened the door to the bakery, he felt the stress he had from practice a while ago were completely relieved. The bakery gave off a warm welcome when he stepped in. Contrasting to the cold breeze of autumn outside. The aroma of newly baked goods lingered around the room that it felt like Felix's being lured immediately to the cashier. It almost smelled like heaven, thought of Felix.

The moment that he got his desired lunch in his hands, he took a seat near the window. He savored each bite of the pastry, eyes rolling to the back of his head at it's deliciousness. Although a ring from his phone interrupted him from his feast.

" Oi Felix, " Chan greeted as soon as he answered his call. Felix first dabbed his mouth with the provided tissue before replying to Chan, " What's up? ".

While he's into the conversation with his friend, something – or rather someone on the streets captured his eyes. You were aimlessly running after a piece of paper caught in the wind. The breeze carrying locks of your silk hair. Your eyes reflecting the sun and eyebrows knitted as you continue to struggle. When the time that you've had it in your hold came, you accidentally slipped on the autumn leaves. Causing you to painfully land on your butt. A groan fell out of your lips as you rubbed your butt to ease the pain. All of the commotion that Felix saw from you made him break out a giggle, which left his friend confused on the other line.

" Ah yeah, yeah. Let's defo have a barbie this arvo. "

Felix thought that you were adorable.

" (Y/N)? " Called out by the person on the other line as soon as you picked up the call. Your phone was pressed against your right ear while you continued searching for the remote underneath the pillows. It surely has been a while since the last time you interacted with your boyfriend, Park Jongsuk, and God knows how much you missed him. Just hearing his soothing voice at this moment sent butterflies into your stomach. His voice is enough for you to make your day better. " Yes, love? " You asked, smiling to yourself. Also noticing how his tone sounded more requesting. As much as you wanted to beam at him a ' good afternoon ' and ask how is he, you decided not to.

Once you've found the remote to your television, you turned the volume down so that your conversation with him wouldn't be interrupted. You've been just passing some time by watching Netflix for about a week now. Actually, not only for passing time but it is even for avoiding yourself to overthink your current situation - especially about your relationship status with Jongsuk.

" Could we.. " He first trailed off for a moment, contemplating if he should persist with the plan. " Could we meet up later? " That question alone made you joyful and excited, smiling from ear to ear. You give him your enthusiastic approval before ending your call by telling one another that you're both anticipating for your meet up. Turning off the television, you were off to your room to fix yourself. Afterall, this is your first meet up with him ever since the day you were parted by long distance — that's been like roughly 8 months. Him achieving his dreams as a model and actor, away from your home country, Australia. He did brought you with him though. The first months you shared the same apartment, every moment filled with happiness and love.

That is until everything drifted apart. It began with him moving to a dorm nearby and supported by his Entertainment. His weekend visits turned to none at all. Everything that became a habit with him vanished one by one. Leaving you only with memories. But it seems like today's the day you'll start to get everything back.

Oh how you are so oblivious to your bittersweet fate.

Arriving to the said location, Hangang Park. It runs through thousands of miles and has many parks along the way. An environment friendly place for people to enjoy nature, sports, foods, entertainments, fountains, and more. You personally just adore how comforting it is to be there and to have a breath-taking sight of Han River, especially at night. Every locals and tourists savor their time to be here the same as you do. Although as of today, you couldn't help but notice that the park isn't as packed as it usually is.

You sat down on a nearby bench, waiting for Jongsuk to make an appearance. He did told you to come in the late afternoon and you did get there in time. Leaning onto the bench, you let out a sigh. Eyes finding itself staring at the sky covered with gray clouds. The cold wind crashing into your figure, making you shiver. You were sure that you checked today's weather forecast before leaving your household, told you that it'll just be a cloudy day.

Children's hearty laughs soon began turning to murmurs and whispers. The sound of silverware and plates clinking rang through your ears. It sounded like the family's starting to pack up and clean up their picnic space. " Come on, let's go! " Called out by a woman in her late 20's, assumming that she's the mother. You grew anxious when you noticed how everyone seemed to abandon you alone. Why is everybody departing out of the blue? You've just arrived.

" (Y/N), " You heard your own name being mentioned and it came from  behind you. Recognizing the owner of the cordial tone of his voice, you turned around to meet a pair of eyes wearing misty gray contact lenses. Seeing him washed away all of your worries. Your heart's about to instantly jump out of your chest due to the fact that it's filled with pure happiness. Unconsciously smiling brightly at him.

" Love! " Running towards him, you hugged his tall form securely. Mumbling the words, " I missed you. "

However, to your surprise, he never returned the hug. In fact, Jongsuk gently removed your arms around his waist. " (Y/N), I missed you too, " He started, crouching a little bit to face you better. " Although I have something to tell you. Something important, that's why I came. " Something's starting to creep into your guts. As if it's warning you that there's something off about today. He stated that but he never smiled back at you ever since he made an appearance. Plus, he always addresses you by your real name. Not your shared endearment which is strange.

You hummed in response, your smile slowly fading from your lips. " What is it? " Jongsuk saw how your eyes sparkled with hope. He knows that you're yearning for him to tell you that your gut feeling is wrong. Which made him more guilty for what he's about to do.

" (Y/N), let's.. " He hesitated, hating the fact that he has to see you in this state. However, he does know better for what's best for the both of you. " Let's end this here. " To be better off with someone else. Those words were enough to shatter your heart into million of pieces. Your face fully turning into a gloomy countenance with a hint of confusion. Your lips starting to quiver. For a second, you were frozen into place. You dislike how you couldn't control yourself right now.

" I'm sorry, we just didn't work out anymore. " He continued. Thoughts were flooded with denial, that this is happening at this very moment or you must've misheard everything. But no, Jongsuk's facial expression says it all.

" I understand, " Your voice sounded brittle, holding back the tears. Pity is one of the things that's written on his face. That's the least thing you wanted from anyone, to pity you. As if it's telling that you're incapable of overcoming the worst situations in life, that you're fragile and being belittled. And you clearly despise it. " I'll take my leave now. "

With that, you walked away from him. Your arms found itself wrapping around your own figure, trying your best to calm down. Your mixed emotions of fury and agony almost getting the best of you. Although each second that's passing is killing you. Heart aching, lips quivering, you were just in the worst state ever. And once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Resulting you to run away aimlessly. To wherever your feet may take you.

One drop, two drops fell from the skies that made you slow down until you come to a total halt. You looked up to the sky, seeing it covered with dark clouds. A droplet landed on your cheek, a simple gesture from the heavens of wiping off your tears and you'd like to think of it that way. It wasn't long after the drizzle transitioned to a downpour. As if the heavens are crying and mourning with one of its beloved (you) at what tragedy it witnessed. Unfortunately, you haven't brought your umbrella with you due to the fact that you believed at the false weather forecast. So, you let yourself get drenched in the rain. Not giving any piece of shit about the aftermath. You're currently already exhausted and under the weather.

You closed your eyes, body shivering to the cold air being left out from under the showering water. For a few minutes, you stayed there. Not even minding any comments from the people passing by. That is until you didn't feel the rain landing on your body out of the blue. Strange that you could feel a warm presence to your right. However, you could still hear water coming in contact with the pavement.

When you've parted your eyelids, you were greeted by a black fabric instead of gray clouds. " G'day mate, " A familiar deep voice laced with Australian accent greeted. Glancing to your left, he beamed a sweet smile at you. It was as warm, bright and blinding as the sunshine that it could possibly change the whole weather. To be honest, he's the least man you expected to see today since you thought he's as busy as your ex-boyfriend was.

Lee Felix.

" You know you'll get ill with what you're doing and that's least thing I wanna know from my mate. So, that's defo a no no from me, " He pointed out, handing you his umbrella. You timidly accepted it anyway, hand brushing pass his warm ones. Eyes instantly staring at the wet pavement as soon as it's in your grasp. Sighing, Felix took his jacket off and placed it on top of your shoulders. He also handed you a handkerchief after that, receiving a small thank you from you. Then took the umbrella handle back into his grip.

" You know, your ex-boyfriend's a dick, " That being stated by Felix, you let out a belly laugh while drying your face. Seeing your face lit up also made him laugh with you. Ever since the beginning, you both just clicked when Jongsuk first introduced him to you. The time one of you spoke the first " Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! " call, you felt the connection between the two of you while harmonizing at " Oi, Oi, Oi! ". And honestly, he's better at handling long distance friendships than your ex-boyfriend was. He made sure that he gives time for your friendship despite of his busy schedule from being an Idol. Which is impressive because that's just friendship, what more if he's in a relationship?

" I'm sorry, it's just – That came out from you very unexpectedly. I never saw that coming but I like the change. " You chuckled, now walking down the streets with Felix.

" Well, it's still true though, " Felix began, taking out his favorite fudgy brownies he bought from Sunny's. " How could he be so impatient and ghosted you for straight 8 months? And love is known to be patient. He let himself get defeated just by distance. " He took a bite at the brownie, chewing it thoroughly before continuing. " I even heard rumors of him and this make-up artist from his drama recently. "

" What the fuck, " You cursed under your breath, the last part surprising you. Avoiding the chances of you overthinking, you shook your head then changed the topic. " So you're admitting that you've been spying on me, huh? "

" Hey, it's not my fault that I was at Sunny's because my stomach's craving again for those pastries when I witnessed it, " Felix defended, earning a hum as a response from you.

" Though, it felt like I was watching a K-drama, " He jokingly added which ended with you smacking him upside the head playfully.

Reaching back home, you invited Felix for dinner and he gladly accepted the offer. As long as you agreed to his terms of conditions. Let him play League Of Legends on your PC and buffalo wings for dinner.

Coming out of the bathroom fully dressed and hair slightly damped, you saw Felix already busy playing on your PC. The headphones plugged into his ears. You're probably gonna kill him if you found out that he gave you a losing streak. Leaving the room, you went down to the kitchen. Preparing his desired meal. As you were doing so, you occasionally heard faint screams from upstairs which made you chuckle. It was quite odd how well Felix knows to immediately make your day better. Like as if nothing, no tragedy, ever happened earlier.

By the time you called Felix for dinner, he dashed down the flight of stairs and towards the dining area. His eyes sparkled and mouth almost drooling at the delicious sight plus taste of the meal. He didn't hesitate to dig in, taking one into his lips and you followed. While eating, Felix's eyes landed on a picture frame unintentionally, making him glare at it. " You should find someone better, " He suggested, his chocolate orbs meeting your own.

When you're always this close to him, you could see his charming points well. From his distinctive features to his gorgeous freckles. You still continued to believe that it was a constellation map drawn by the Gods so that people could never forget what the heavens looked like especially on cloudy days like today. It must've took a lot of patience, dedication and love to sculpt him. How blessed he is to be one of God's greatest masterpiece. Maybe, the heavens loves you so much that they sent him for you. Afterall, the heavens did show affection to you in a form of rainfall.

" Yeah, as if there's someone as better as you. " You murmured while continuing to feast onto the meal. However, Felix heard it clearly.

" Hmm.. " Felix pondered for a moment, chin resting on top of his hands. " Too bad there's only one of me. "

" Although this one does like you. "

End.

[liquorisce]

reading between the lines (High School Years, Ch 2)

pairing: eren x mikasa (shingeki no kyojin) // mild erehisu, yumihisu

rating: t

summary: (modern au) Junior year is difficult, especially for Mikasa, because it turns out Eren’s decided to test the dating scene. 

(banter, jealousy... and lots of feelings)

part 1 | read on ao3

A/N: this chapter has been a long time coming (5 years omg), and tbh I have a lovely anon to thank, who messaged me asking for a sequel to hsy, which made me actually want to put down my scrambled headcanons on paper. if you're reading this anon, i'm truly grateful for the push you gave me. 

NOTE: although i intended a sequel, this is a COMPANION fic to chapter 1, it is meant to fill up the gaps in the story that the previous chapter didnt tell you. i hope you enjoy :)

Today was not one of Eren’s favourite days, for 2 reasons. For one, the day started off with … an encounter. Two, today they would be getting the results of their final trig assessment, which Eren knows perfectly well he didn’t have a chance of passing.

The ‘encounter’ happens pretty much without preamble.

…

i.

“… Hey, it’s Eren, right?” He turns around from his conversation with Armin, to see the same guy from a couple of weeks ago, the one who was talking about Mikasa, and her pretty hair. (he wasn’t wrong)  

“Yeah?” He does his best not to let the subconscious irritation seep into his tone.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day,” the guy with the oddly horse-shaped face says, “… My name’s Jean.”

“… Nice to meet you,” he says awkwardly delivering his dishonest words.

“… So, I wanted to be straight up with you,” Jean says, cheeks oddly pink. “About Mikasa… and you. I’ve heard some rumours, and I thought it best to address it with you directly, because I really don’t want to cause any trouble.”   Clearing his throat, he says, “Are you guys… y’know, together?”

It’s in the way Jean speaks, he thinks, or the way he talks about Mikasa (or even thinks of her?) - it makes him want to ram his fist right in the middle of his ugly face. And because he was too busy clenching his fists to actually respond, Armin says with a laugh, “… Ah, don’t worry, Mikasa is totally single.”

And then proceeds to wink at Jean.

Eren can barely believe his eyes and ears. And once Jean is out of earshot he hisses, “… what the fuck, Armin?”

Armin blinks up at him innocently. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

 “… You didn’t have to encourage him,” Eren mumbles petulantly, when he admits to himself that Armin did, in fact, say nothing wrong.

 “Erm, why not?” He sighs, “Look, I know you… worry about Mikasa,” Armin keeps his tone as neutral and veiled as possible, because worried is definitely not all Eren feels for Mikasa, “… but Jean is a good guy! And if anyone deserves attention from a good guy, it’s her.”

…

 ii.

 She finds him lurking near his locker, stuffing his crumpled papers in, probably wishing away their existence.

“That bad, huh?” She asks, hiding away her grin at his predictable reaction. Eren has always been predisposed too sulking - whether he was a 7-year-old who wasn’t the fastest on the field or 16-something and having just received his trigonometry results.

“… You look like you did just fine,” he mutters, not having to see the A+ on her paper to know that Mikasa had no problem acing the trig test (or any other test).

“You could just ask me for help, Eren. I could help you out for the retakes,” she offers softly, not for the first time.

He sighs. When he glances at her, dark eyes offering earnestly, he knows she means it without any pride or arrogance, but he isn’t able to suppress the prick of his own ego that has him mumbling, “… the mandatory remedial lessons should do just fine.”

…

iii.

When he shows up for class, he sees only a couple of others unfamiliar faces, so he curses under his breath at his own ineptitude towards mathematics for getting him in this situation and takes a spot at the back of the class.

The Support teacher - Erd, he calls himself, apparently too young to be addressed ‘Mr.’ or any of that - seems just as tired as the rest of them, sighing at the lack of answers, obviously frustrated at the complete lack of interest or gratitude of the teenagers in front of him.

So, 20 minutes into the 1-hour lesson, when the short blonde walks in, out-of-breath and apologetic, the sarcasm in his tone is biting. “You’ve already missed 1/3rd of this class, you might as well have stayed out entirely and practiced your cheer routines.”

Eren watches sympathetically at the visible cringe on Krista’s face and offers her an empathetic smile as she takes the seat next to him.

Later when they’ve been informed that the retake is just an assignment filled with proofs and average difficulty problems that they can do in pairs, he looks at Krista, the only known person in the room.

They weren’t that close, but they had quite a few mutual friends what with him playing basketball and her being part of the cheer team. So, when she says, “… see you at the library tomorrow evening?” with a pretty smile across her pretty features, he grins gratefully.

..

She doesn’t struggle with trig even half as much as he does. In fact, she seemed to be happy to do most of the work herself and explain her solutions - if he actually had the interest to understand them.

“I don’t understand,” he admits after she solves the 5th problem in a row effortlessly, “you seem to have everything down already. How come you didn’t pass the test?”

Her eyes skittered nervously away from him. “I was… sick,” she mutters. “I couldn’t really focus.”

He eyes her closely, observing the sudden change in her countenance. Usually Krista was all easy smiles, twinkle in her blue eyes. Now, she looks uneasy, unwell almost. Deciding it wasn’t his place to pry, “… Well, I guess I turned out to be the lucky one in all this,” he grins, “… I get to hang out with you and have you do my assignment.”

She rolls her eyes. To be honest, she’d enjoyed the past couple of evenings with him. Eren was easy to talk to, despite being somewhat of an airhead and being completely incapable of anything remotely math related. But regardless, he made her laugh and just about forget what happened the morning before she showed up for this test, with fresh tears choking her throat, and purpling bruises on her thighs.

“I guess you owe me then,” she quips back, smugly.

“… I definitely do,” he says smoothly, green eyes watching her in a way that makes her feel warm. “How can I make it up to you?”

Flustered, because she hadn’t expected his easy response, she mumbles, “… Dinner?” And with red cheeks hidden by her blonde bangs, she whispers, “I like pizza.”

…

iv.

She finds him at the end of the day, on one of the wooden tables outside the basketball court, chin resting in his hands, eyes glued to his laptop.

“… Hey,” she breathes, giggling when startled green eyes flash up to her, body jerking in surprise.

“Damn, you got me,” he grins, pushing his laptop away and leaning up for a brief kiss. She’s happy to return it, and she lets her fingers wind into his hair, enjoying it for a moment longer.

“Mmm,” she mumbles, “I saw you closing that browser window,” she teases, wrestling control of his laptop, “watcha lookin’ at?”

When she manages to open his browser history – much to Eren’s protest – her eyes widen. “Women’s dresses, spring collection??” She waggles her eyebrows at him.

“… It’s not for me,” he grumbles, deciding to make it painstakingly clear before Krista enthusiastically begins to tell him what dress would suit him the most – he knows his girlfriend, crossdressing would be absolutely acceptable, if not encouraged – and he watches her eyes feign disappointment.

“… Boring,” she sighs, rolling her pretty blue eyes, “I don’t see how you’re not curious about how you look in a dress,” – she gasps, hand flying over her mouth, “Wait… was that… a surprise… for me?”

“… Um,” Eren starts, intelligently, because the situation that was already awkward in his opinion, just became even more so. “Well,” he gulps, taking in the sparkle in her eyes, knowing fully well just how much she likes surprises, feeling guilty even thought he needn’t be, “itsformikasa.”

He hangs his head in apparent apology, but more so because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment flit across her features.

“… Oh.”

He chances a glance at her, and there’s no particular emotion per se, and it worries him, because she gets this faraway look in her eye sometimes, and he can’t really tell what’s going on, and they’ve only been together a few months and he’s not an expert in reading her silences –

“I see, is it for her birthday or something?” Her tone is measured, and she’s looking pointedly at the screen.

“Um… yeah.” Eren sighs, wondering what the hell was up with his own reaction. He had nothing to feel guilty about – where did that even come from anyway? – Mikasa’s his… family (or something). Shopping for her was normal. He did it every year. This isn’t something he needed to hide.

“Yeah, it’s next month,” he says, giving her a smile. There was no need for this to be awkward if he didn’t make it so. Besides, it wasn’t like he was buying her lingerie or something! (he brushed this thought aside faster than the red blush crept up his neck)

“Do you think, you could help me with it?” He blurts this out, partially in an attempt to distract the weird atmosphere, and also partially because he could really use the help.

Krista blinks. “Err, yeah. Sure.” She pulls up Mikasa’s profile on Instagram. “Let’s see,” she murmurs… Turtlenecks… Jeans… a ridiculously modest swimsuit that she wore to a pool party two years ago. The sexiest outfit on her entire profile was probably her in her tennis shorts and that had more to do with Mikasa’s undeniably ripped body than anything else.

She looks up at Eren, who’s still looking at her tentatively, green eyes unsure.

This whole thing was silly anyway, she thinks, offering him a genuine smile. He and Mikasa were close (and they lived together, which she did her best not to think about), but this wasn’t a surprise so it’s about time that it came up in some way in their relationship. In any case, she hadn’t felt any hostility from the raven-haired beauty and Eren was usually quite forthcoming about everything, so she didn’t really have anything to worry about.

“So, um, does she have a favourite colour or something?” She’s eager to kill the awkward mood and is grateful to see his shoulders visibly relax as he ponders.

“… Red, I think. Maybe, like, a darker shade. Sort of… maroon, y’know?” He thinks of the scarf he gave Mikasa when they were younger. It was a ratty, yet fluffy maroon thing which she was absolutely terrible at tying, but she wears it everywhere during the winter, even though his father had a bought her a better one at some point.

They peruse their options for a bit, and Krista picks out a deep red number, a shimmery satin one, with slinky straps and a slit that travels up an already high hemline. It wasn’t really a spring dress but more of a cocktail night outfit, and Eren is weirdly embarrassed thinking of Mikasa in it.

He eyes the screen incredulously. “… Somehow, I just can’t picture Mikasa wearing something like that.” He opens up another link, to a denim overall dress, “… now this, she would wear.”

“And that,” Krista retorts, “is why she’s still single. She has an amazing body; she should flaunt it.”

“… What would she wear it to?” Eren asks, unconvinced. (Also, what was wrong with Mikasa being single?) “… Student council meetings? Debate competitions?! I just,” –

“Parties, Eren,” she says, exasperated, “… it’s high school!”

“You know she doesn’t” –

“Drag her to some! C’mon, we’re going to be seniors soon. She’ll thank you for it!”

…

v.

Six hours later, she’s closing up her shift at her part-time job. It’s a job she’d rather keep hidden – from her friends at school and the law – because she isn’t sure what the age policy was in these kinds of establishments. It worked out because it was close enough to home, and between her and the bartender, the tips compensated the poor wages. Plus, the bartender – a slightly older girl named Ymir with a pretty fringe and a sharp tongue – was genuinely fan to hang out with. And she was surprisingly protective of the small blonde, particularly with the rougher customers, whom Ymir scared off quite effectively with her glares.

“So,” she says, as she scrubs the counter clean, “… I helped my boyfriend buy a dress today.”  

She doesn’t turn back to see her, but she can hear Ymir’s raised eyebrows as she says, cheekily, “… I didn’t realize you guys were into that stuff.”

Snorting, she replies, “Well that would be interesting. But no, it was for his, um, friend. Or something.” Or something, because sometimes Eren refers to Mikasa as his best friend, sometimes his family, and sometimes it just felt like… something else, basically.

She turns around to look at Ymir, who says nothing, continuing to rinse the rest of the glasses. “Her name’s Mikasa,” she continues, her voice getting oddly unsure, “They’ve known each other forever. They even… live together.”

“… What,” Ymir stares at her in disbelief.

“It’s not like that,” Krista finds herself sounding defensive, “Eren’s dad is her guardian… or something. Has been for some years. So, it’s not like they moved in together…”

She elects to skip the part where Eren’s dad is a doctor with Doctors without Borders and is barely home for more than a couple of months a year. She didn’t like the look Ymir was giving her anyway.

“So… they’re like brother-sister or what?”

“No,” she says, realizing that the word came out more vehement than she intended. But she knows that was definitely not the way Eren saw their relationship.

“… Krista,” Ymir starts, and the blonde can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s going to get all protective on her, “… I know you’re in high school, and… you’re dating – as you should – but you don’t have to waste your time on shady boys.”

At this she laughs because, “Eren’s not shady, he’s a nice guy,” –

“… You could get anyone you want; I mean look at you, you’re beautiful.”

The defense that was bubbling up in her throat suddenly stilled, because there’s something about the way Ymir just said that – called her beautiful – earnestly, quietly, and it made her feel funny. It took her breath away for a very brief second and replaced it with a warm flush that creeps up her neck.

It’s strange, she’s heard it before from so many boys with obvious motivations; Eren’s always calling her pretty, and complimenting her eyes or whatever… But when Ymir said it, and looked at her like that, honey brown eyes, deep with unnamed emotion, all she could do was avert her eyes.

…

vi.

It’s 7pm and the library’s home only to the nerds by now. The librarian is lax (and underpaid) enough to ignore the low buzz of two over-enthusiastic AP chemistry students that grates on Mikasa’s ears.

Ordinarily she’d just plug her earphones in and ignore the world to focus on the assignment at hand. But today she accepts anything to distract her from the scene earlier at home. And even though Armin’s sitting right next to her, supposedly doing his own thing, she doesn’t miss the worried glances he sends her every now and then, which she really doesn’t want to address.

Her feelings for Eren were a well-known secret by now, just as well-known as the fact that he clearly didn’t return those feelings, so she wasn’t particularly in the mood for Armin’s indulgent pity… regardless of how well-intentioned it was.

So, when its 8pm and the librarian is shooing them out, and she bumps into Jean, she’s grateful for the few extra minutes of conversation surrounding absolutely nothing important.

When they continue to the parking lot, their conversation having progressed from awkward conversation starters to an animated discussion on Jean’s tennis form, Armin’s well and truly realized that he has no place here.

After Armin’s said his goodbyes and Mikasa recognizes that she doesn’t mind staying away from home and possibly Eren and Krista in the middle of their 5th round, she asks Jean, “… so do you like Chinese food?”

…

When she walks in a little after 10 pm, cheeks cold from the night air, there’s a small grin on her cheeks, because she’s made a new friend today, whose company she genuinely enjoyed.

But when she enters the living room to see Eren fast asleep on the couch, she finds herself staring in the face of the reality she’d tried so hard to escape. It’s difficult to ignore the ruffled quality of his brown hair, mussed up in a way that could only have been achieved by someone (a very blonde, very beautiful someone) raking their hands through it.

She can’t help the wave of irritation that sweeps through her - so she doesn’t bother to soften her footsteps as she walks up the wooden stairs.

Minutes later, she hears his sleepy voice at her door. “Hey,” he says, and she can hear the smile in his voice, “you were out pretty late, so I left you some dinner. We made pasta, it’s not as good as yours but,” -

“… I ate already,” she says, tone clipped.

“Oh.” He’s quiet, just watching her put her things away, and there’s irrational tears pricking at her eyes, anger, and frustration that she knows she doesn’t have the right to, so she doesn’t turn to acknowledge him. “… Mikasa, are you…,” he clears his throat, “… is something wrong?”

When she says nothing, he sighs, turning, “… Well, if you want to talk about it, you know I’m always here,” -

“… Could you please go over to Krista’s house next time?”

She colours, surprised at herself for her outburst of honesty. But her blush pales in comparison to Eren’s as he processes what she’s saying. “… This is my house,” he sputters, “… I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to bring my girlfriend over.”

“Well, it’s not just ‘bringing her over’, is it?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “… What I do with Krista, in my personal space, is definitely not your business, Mikasa.”

“It is when I can hear it, Eren,” she retorts, as he shuts the door forcefully behind him.

…

vii.

It’s been two weeks since that… confrontation, and Mikasa’s barely spoken to him since.

She leaves before he does, makes sure dinner’s left out on the stove for him, whether he needs it or not, and locks her door when she’s done. And although he’s found himself staring awkwardly at that shut door multiple times, he’s never had the courage to actually knock.

He simply cannot comprehend this situation because despite the numerous arguments they’ve had in the past - it was always him, whining about something like a petty child and sulking till he got his way - she’d never truly been mad at him. And she’d never, ever, gone days without talking to him. And as he stares at the locker next to his (it was Mikasa’s) with a horrible ache in his chest, he is well and truly sure that he loathes this situation.

So, when small hands reach around his waist, enveloping him in a tight embrace, his subconscious reaction is to jerk back in annoyance. “I didn’t realise it was you,” he murmurs apologetically, rubbing her hands softly.

“… Who else would it be?” Krista asks, somewhat thrown off by this mood that had been festering for days now.

“You ask some very valid questions there, babe,” he mutters, a distracted half-smile on his face.

Taking a deep breath (determined to shake him out of his pensive aura), she whispers, “… You know, I don’t have work today.” She leans against him, reaching up to murmur in his ear, “we could hang out at yours for a while, if you want?”

She makes it clear what she means by “hanging out” by the way she presses up against him, and even though he’s responded with fervent enthusiasm to a similar invitation in the past, today he just averts his gaze, awkwardly.

Swallowing the rejection with a graceful exterior, she puts an arm’s length of distance between them. “… What’s going on, Eren? Your head’s been somewhere else all week.”

And before he starts to stay that it’s nothing, just that he has some stuff going on, she says, “… does this have something to do with Mikasa?”

His green gaze jerks up at her, startled with unfortunate honesty. “… I haven’t seen you talk to her all week.”

“…I,” he starts, but his throat closes up, for some reason, unsure whether he should really tell her what happened. He doesn’t want to put her in the middle of something that was clearly between him and Mikasa.

But with every passing second, the guilty look on his face only begins to feed the fears that she had successfully kept dormant all this while. “… Did something happen between the two of you?”

And when he looks into her eyes, bright blues seeping insecurity, he says, hurriedly, “… wait, I hope you aren’t thinking that we,” - he inhales sharply, wondering how he manages so successfully to upset the women in his life - “God, no. We had a misunderstanding, that’s all. She said something, I was pretty rude to her, and I shouldn’t have been.”

“And,” he murmurs, admitting it to himself, finally, “I’ve just taken too long to apologize.”

…

She’s barely finished washing the vegetables for dinner, when she hears the thud of the front door closing loudly.

(She remembers Carla reprimanding him every time, for not being gentler)

Mikasa has managed to avoid Eren successfully these past days, because she knows his schedule, knows that despite his complete lack of organization, he’s fairly predictable. And with his recent interest in a particular cheerleader, he almost invariably never comes home before 8.30 PM. So, when she hears him enter their kitchen at little over 7, she isn’t prepared.

She isn’t prepared because she’s been quite cowardly, saying things that she had no business saying, and then being unable to own up to it, unable to apologize to him. Because she knew that when she looks at him, she’ll feel the way she feels right now - taking in the sight of him, drizzle droplets fresh in his brown hair, as he runs a hand through it, his mouth twisting into an awkward grin. She knew she’d realize that her feelings for Eren were never really much of a choice, they just were.  

“… I brought your favourite dumplings from Li’s,” he announces. “And I brought an extra serving of the spicy soy sauce so we don’t have to fight over who gets the last bit.”

…

He’s grateful for the small smile that forms on her face when she accepts the dumplings (the peace treaty as he calls it in his head), and for the small banter that she indulges him in as they eat.

After they’re stuffed with dumplings and inconsequential conversation, he clears his throat, because he remembers he came home early tonight with a certain conviction.

But as she does with most things, she beats him to it. “… Eren, about the other day,” she looks at him earnestly, “… I had no right to demand that of you. I’m sorry.”

And when he’s still quiet, she mumbles quickly, “I don’t know what got into me that day, honestly, I,” -

“Don’t apologise, Mikasa,” he says, a strange disquiet taking over him as he replays her words, “… the last thing I want, is to make you feel uncomfortable.” Or to make you feel like you can’t demand what you want from me.

This is the part that settles into him slowly, that somehow, the one person in his life that he’s always felt he could ask anything of, could demand anything of, and actually receive it without fail… she didn’t feel that she could count on the same from him. And it twisted painfully inside of him.

“I appreciate that, Eren. But honestly, I’ll get used to it… so don’t worry.” She smiles, in that genuine way of hers, small lips, curving shyly, “… and who knows, maybe someday I’ll want to ‘bring someone over’ too.”

She laughs as she does the air quotes and even though he manages a small grin in response, all he can say, without really meaning it, is –

“Yeah… Of course, yeah.”

…

 viii.

 She takes her frustration out on the cash register. “… Damn thing doesn’t open when I need it to, and doesn’t close when I want it to,” she mutters under her breath.

 “You just need to show it some love,” Ymir says, amused, promptly closing the problematic register without any difficulty. “… Go sit, I’ll close up here.”

 She does as she’s told, pouting slightly, but she’s grateful for the older girl’s help and understanding. “So… want a beer before I close the tap?” Ymir asks with a wink.

 “You need to stop offering underage girls alcohol,” Krista whispers, scanning the room hastily.

 The brunette rolls her eyes. “You need to stop with the innocent act every time. You’re a hot cheerleader for god’s sakes, everyone knows what goes on at your high school parties,”  -

 “Ok ok,” she acquiesces, suppressing the blush at Ymir’s offhanded compliment and deciding that that there was no point in panicking every time they did this, “… but only if you join me.”

 “Cheers,” Ymir says, offering her glass to Krista’s and taking a generous gulp. “So, tell me. Boy trouble, again?”

 Krista nurses her drink slowly before taking a sip.

 To Krista, Eren was a breath of fresh air. He didn’t hover, he didn’t foam at the mouth every time she spoke to another guy, didn’t hound her if she didn’t pick up his phone call.

 Does he even care? Ymir had asked her once scathingly, but she had disregarded it, grateful for the freedom she felt in his embrace. Freedom from toxic attachment, from past trauma or unresolved baggage like the one she was destined to carry. When she was around him, she had felt different. Lighter almost, as if this persona that she had created for herself could actually have a shot at happiness after all.

 But lately she’d begun to wonder if she’d just been fooling herself… again. She’d begun to question if she had just convinced herself to see the promise of something that was never there.

 “… I thought this guy was one of the good ones,” Ymir says, watching Krista closely.

 “He is…” she sighs, “He is one of the good ones. It’s just…” she trails off, unsure if she should give voice to her thoughts. “Ah fuck it, I’m just feeling a little insecure, it’ll be fine…”

 “… Is this about that sexy flatmate of his?”

 She winces, feeling exposed. It often felt that way with Ymir. Like there was no point to any of the barriers she had worked so hard in constructing.

 “She is attractive,” Krista admits, begrudgingly. “… I’m only surprised Eren hasn’t noticed that.”  

 “… But that’s what you’re worried about, aren’t you? That he has noticed that of late?” Ymir narrows her eyes at Krista. “You should just ask him about it!”

 “I did,” she states defensively, “… and he said there was nothing,” -

 “… Oh, sure there’s nothing. I can’t believe he thinks he can lie to you and get away with it,” -

 “Ymir, I trust him, he’s my boyfriend,” -

 “But that’s the problem with you. You just trust everyone, and you let them walk all over you. You did this with Reiner and now with,” -

 “Ok,” she whispers, “Stop it, Ymir.”

 “… Krista, you need to trust your gut about this sort of thing. If your gut is telling you that he’s a lying asshole, then you should just dump his ass and,” -

 “… See this is why I didn’t want to tell you about this,” she cries, her voice rising In frustration. Because this is how it’s always been with Ymir, no one she dates is ever good enough, no decision she makes is ever smart enough.

 “You’re always shitting on my boyfriends. And I know you were justified about the last one, but,” her voice cracks just a little bit, because at the end of it all, she just feels weak, “… it feels like you’re just taking a massive crap on me as well.”

 “I didn’t mean,” Ymir starts apologetically, brown eyes remorseful, “… look, that wasn’t my intention.”

 She takes her hand, slowly, lets her long fingers intertwine with Krista’s smaller, dainty ones.  The crumpled expression on Krista’s features has her regretting ever opening her big mouth. But she was tired of seeing one person after another, enter her Krista’s life, and undo the progress she was trying so desperately to make.

“… The truth is,” she takes a deep breath, ready to unleash a truth that’s been stifled for so long, she can’t even remember when it first sprouted, “I think you’re pretty fucking amazing. And I see you wasting all your time and your feelings on these stupid boys who don’t deserve you.” The words come out quickly, rushed almost. A sharp contrast to how long they’ve festered in Ymir’s chest, growing and growing until these feelings knew no reason.

 Ymir doesn’t look at her, she keeps her gaze focused on Krista’s hand, afraid of what might happen if Krista understands the depth of feeling behind her words. But more important than her feelings, there were some things she wanted Krista to see clearly.

 “Did you tell him about your father, Krista? What he does to you when his wife isn’t looking?”

 Krista tugs on her hand, a wave of unbridled panic spreading at the mention of her father. “I trusted you with that information, Ymir, you promised you’d never bring it up,” -

 “… Did you tell him your real name?”

 She can’t answer this question, even though she knows the answer, knows it’s an emphatic ‘no’ - but she cannot answer because there’s an overwhelming lump in her throat, and it’s taking everything from her to barely keep it together.

 “… Let go of me, Ymir,” she pleads, and that’s when Ymir loosens her grip.

 “… You trusted me to keep quiet about your secrets - and I’m fine with that. I’m fine with doing anything you ask of me,” her teeth grit together, because she doesn’t know, Krista doesn’t know just how much she would do.  

 “You asked me not to do anything about the fact that your father is hurting you, and it even though it kills me, I listened to you. But now I see you hurting yourself in this farcical relationship with fabricated feelings for some boy who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, and I don’t know if I can be quiet about that anymore.”

 And because it’s grown too large, too much to keep inside of her anymore, she whispers, “I love you, Historia. And if you want me to let go of you, I will. But,” she brushes her lips gently against Krista’s cheek, “… You can trust me with your secrets, and your heart, if you’d let me, because I could take care of you.” She feels a warm tear roll down Krista’s cheek and her heart clenches, “… I could make you happy.”

 …

ix. 

 “… I really appreciate you making time for this,” she murmurs, as she watches him lay the white lilies at her parent’s grave.

 He always remembers, without her prompting, because the first time he’d come with her, she’d spent hours crying at their gravestone, telling him tear-filled anecdotes of the dishes her Mama cooked, the bedtime stories her Papa told, the flowers that they used to grow in their garden together (white lilies).

 “C’mon Mikasa,” he rolls his eyes at her, “… we do this every year. Why wouldn’t I make time for this?” And why the hell are you thanking me?

 She can’t really explain it to him, the possibly childish notion that she thought he might be too busy with his girlfriend to remember the death anniversary of her parents. She regrets doubting him, regrets that of late she’s been so clouded by petty jealousy, that she hasn’t truly appreciated how little he’s changed around her.

 “It’s ridiculous,” she confesses, softly, “… you’ve given me everything. A home… A family.” She smiles at him, somewhat blurry. “But I can’t help it, every year on this day, my mind always goes back to that… moment. I lost them… in what felt like the blink of an eye.”

 He tenses, as he always does when he sees her upset, or shedding a tear. There is a fundamental part of him that deeply despises the sadness on her features; it makes him feel helpless. So, he does the only thing he can - he wraps an arm around her, tucking her face into his shoulder as she snuggles into him.

 “I miss them every day. But you saved me, Eren,” she whispers, dark eyes looking up at him with a gratefulness that he has never known how to accept, and never felt worthy of. “… and now I have you.”

 Her voice trails off, almost wistful. “… I guess the world really can be cruel but beautiful at the same time.”

 …

 x.

 When he stops to think about it, he supposes it really is ridiculous it took them so long to get here. And by here he means - Mikasa wrapped securely in his arms, in his lap, on their couch, taking advantage of the privacy they’ve had all along.

 He feels her tongue flick against his - it makes him shiver - and he can do little more than just wrap himself around her tighter, and sigh into her kiss. Her fingers make their way into his hair, cradling his head, pressing sweet kisses on the side of his mouth, on his jaw, and on the sensitive spot beneath his ear.

 And because Mikasa’s always been a quick study (she’s learnt what he likes, what he’s weak for), he stills her exploration (very reluctantly) before she goes too far.

 “Are you okay…?” He whispers, rubbing a thumb along the dried tear stains on her cheek – a reminder of her tears, of knowing the pain that he’d caused her, bubbled quietly within him, having been quelled temporarily by the glorious feeling of having her in his arms.

 She laughs, shaking her head, “… I love you. I can’t believe I finally get to say it.” She rests her forehead against his, a happy smile forming on her lips.

 “… You could have said it ages ago; you know. No one asked you to keep it inside for this long.” Even though he teases her with his words, his lips drift back to hers, brushing softly, unable to stay away for too long.

 “… Well, you never know, I actually might have said it. If it wasn’t for, you know, you having a girlfriend.” He senses the eye roll, the teasing lilt of her voice, but he can’t help but regret the time he wasted. Because even though Krista was a dear friend, and there were no ill intentions there, now that he is here, chest to chest with the girl he loves, he only wishes he’d been here sooner.

 “You’re going to use that against me forever, aren’t you?”

 She grins in response. “… I have a question though.”

 “Shoot,” he murmurs, nibbling against her lower lip.

 “… Why’d you guys break up?”

 He groans, kissing her jaw testily. “… Do you really want to go into that right now?”

 She hesitates, torn between potentially ruining the mood and needing to know what happened. God knows, she had spent countless nights losing sleep over the details anyway. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay, I guess…”

 “It’s fine,” he says quickly, realising that if he wanted to set a precedent where she could ask him anything, then it‘s best he starts now, “… She’s in love with someone else. A girl, actually.”

 Her eyes widen, not having expected that turn of events. “… Please tell me you didn’t ask for a threesome.”

 “What the fuck, Mikasa, of course not!” He pulls back, offended.

 “Good,” she murmurs cheekily, “I’ve raised you well.”

 “Hmm,” he hums, “Speaking of ‘raising me’, you should probably stop saying stuff like that. Do you know that Connie asked if you were like a ’sister’ to me?”

 He grins, seeing the shocked expression on her face. That’s exactly how he had felt when he was posed that question, with a little mortification added to the mix. “… Is that really how everyone sees our… relationship?”

 His fingers drift to hers, where they rest on his chest. “We’ve been living together for a while now,” he caresses her knuckles absentmindedly, “Kids our age… they don’t really understand it, I guess. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

 “My turn: I have a question for you,” he murmurs. This is a question he’s long considered, stopped only by his embarrassment, fielding it from others only to put the vaguest labels on it.

 “… What am I to you, Mikasa?”

 The question throws her, because even though she’s told him candidly how she feels, that she loves him, she always has, he is asking her, right now, to define their relationship.

 The very notion, the expression that flits on her tongue, bubbles up in her heart with an exciting warmth, even though she hopes this is just temporary, that it will grow, that Eren is so many things and will be so many things to her that she cannot possibly define right now - “… My boyfriend, of course.”

- fin - 

A/N:  i've been really nervous to post em, because its just been so long, and the writer that wrote chap 1 is different from the one that wrote chap 2, and honestly i dont even know if there are inconsistencies. so my request to you, dear reader, is to please let me know if i have made any fuck ups in writing this - or if you have any ideas for pacing, or storytelling that could possibly help me improve.

also there will be a chapter 3 focusing on eremika’s sexual exploration~

[charincharge]

Cruel Summer, Part 20

cruel summer masterlist

AN: This was supposed to be ready hours ago. SORRY. Only five chapters to go. Have I mentioned how much I appreciate all of you who read, reblog and review this? It has seriously brightened up a shitty time in my life.

Rowan feels like he’s barely slept when Aelin’s alarm goes off. He grumbles and pulls her closer, so he can bury his face into her shoulder, away from the thick rays of sunshine pouring through her window. “No…” he groans.

“Yes,” Aelin laughs as she turns over to face him. Her finger traces over his lips, and he kisses it softly. Her eyes lock with his, and he can’t help the warmth that blooms in his chest at her staring.

“What?” he asks, kissing her finger again. Her eyes flit across his face, observing him closely.

“You’re pretty in the morning,” she says, and Rowan narrows his eyes at her.

“Pretty?” he asks, incredulous. She nods and giggles quietly as Rowan climbs on top of her, pinning her hands beside her head on the mattress. “I’ll show you pretty…” he growls. His lips dive onto her neck, and he can feel her laughter against his chest.

They both hear her door open and slam at the same time. They freeze, their heads turning in the direction of the noise, praying against all odds that it isn’t one of Aelin’s parents.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…”

Dorian stands with his back pressed against Aelin’s door, his hand covering his face again. Rowan sighs a breath of relief and rolls off the bed. He can’t believe how close that came to being a nightmare. They really need to be more careful. He grabs his work uniform, which is crumpled on the floor and pulls his pants on quickly.

“Dor?” Aelin asks from under her covers. “Why are you in my room?”

“I volunteered to wake you up,” he says, eyes still closed. “I had a feeling. Your entire family is downstairs. It’s Saturday, remember?”

“Shit,” Aelin mumbles as she rushes to her closet and throws on shorts and a tank top.

Rowan looks at the clock. Thirty minutes until works starts. And he has no idea how he’s going to escape this house with Aelin’s entire family downstairs. It’s not like he can climb out her window – he’d be spotted in a second.

Dorian finally cracks his eyes open and sees that everyone is fully dressed and relaxes slightly. He nods to Rowan, who nods back uncomfortably.

As they exchange hellos, Aelin heads straight into her bathroom and plugs in her curling iron. Rowan stands in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. He shoves his hands into his pockets and watches as Aelin starts wrapping her hair around the hot metal rod. She examines her bruise in the mirror and dabs some makeup over it with her free hand.

“Dor?” Aelin calls from the bathroom. “Can you tell my family that I am curling my hair, but I will meet them at the park shortly?” She pokes her head out of the bathroom. “Just, get them out of the house quickly. Please,” she implores him with wide eyes, and Dorian salutes her and takes off.

By the time Aelin’s hair is curled, and her family has officially left the premises, Rowan has about five minutes to make it to work. He kisses Aelin and makes a mad dash for the park.

“See you there,” Aelin calls out after him as he takes off into a quick sprint. His cross-country skills are put to the test as his feet sink through the sand with every step. By the time he reaches the park entrance, he’s only one minute late. He’s impressed with himself.

Breathing hard, he slows to a brisk walk, making his way through the throngs of crowds lined up to get in.

Rowan pauses, his brain finally catching up to him, and looks around. The park is packed. Shockingly crowded.

The line of cars to enter the park is so long, it extends past the parking lot and onto the street, and at the front gate, a hefty crowd is gathered, waiting to get in.

“What the fuck?” Rowan mumbles to himself.

Inside the park, a very stressed out Lorcan mans the admissions booth with Fenrys. “Rowan!” he calls out. “You’re here! Come help us.”

Rowan apologizes for being late, but Lorcan just attributes it to the long line of cars and waves Rowan off. He’s just grateful for the help.

As Rowan starts handing out tickets and wristbands, he finally asks Lorcan what the hell is going on. Apparently, the park was featured on some big reality show called Hometown Hotspots earlier in the week, and the park is seeing the after effects. Lorcan has never been more stressed. He’s not exactly a people person, and these people are impatient, entitled, and anxious to get into the park. Rowan feels for him.

The overflow of people is never ending, and Rowan ends up staying at admissions until well into the afternoon. He barely has time to even think about missing Aelin, being kept so busy. Until, finally, he checks his phone during his lunch break and sees he has a slew of texts from her.

WHOA, what’s up with these crowds???

You were so busy this morning, you didn’t even see me come in! Luckily, Fenrys was far more cordial ;)

Rowan glares at Fenrys, who eats his lunch across the table from him. He can’t believe he didn’t’ even see Aelin enter the park.

Lys wants me to tell you that she knows this is not a curler burn. *facepalm*

Gavin heard your name and got excited, and now my family is insisting you join us for dinner.

You’re going to go down in history as being Gavin’s favorite person ever, just for buying him cotton candy that ONE TIME.

Rowan can’t help but smile at this phone screen, despite how tired he already is. He texts back quickly.

I’ll be there.

At the last second, he adds a red heart emoji and sends it. He’s never been an emoji person before, mostly using texting for utilitarian purposes only. But with Aelin, he can’t help himself. It’s silly, he knows. But the red heart sitting in his texts is his silent way of opening up more. Of silently insinuating the three words he’s tried to push to the back of his head and not let overtake his thoughts. He smiles when Aelin immediately returns his text with three kissing face emojis.

He must be smiling like a mad man, because Lorcan chuckles loudly as he takes a seat next to Rowan and asks, “How’s your girlfriend?”

Rowan’s smile disappears as Fenrys perks up from across the table. “You have a girlfriend?”

“Uhh… no… not really…” Rowan fumbles his words.

Lorcan senses his mistake and flashes Rowan and apologetic glance.

But Fenrys is undeterred. “I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me, Rowan,��� Fenrys pouts, sounding all of his young age. “So… who is she? Townie? Someone who works here? Rich summer home crowd?”

“Someone way out of your league, kiddo,” Lorcan says, slapping his large hand onto Fenrys’s shoulder. His voice is gruff, but Rowan sees the hears the affection in his tone. He weirdly feels like he’s turned a corner with Lorcan. Maybe they could even be friends.

“It’s nothing,” Rowan assures Fenrys, who still looks on with hopeful eyes, begging for scraps of information. “It’s super low key, so we haven’t gone public, or whatever.”

“Then how come Lorcan knew?” His whining would be almost comical if Rowan didn’t want to exit the conversation so badly.

Luckily, Lorcan saves him. “Caught them in the break room the other night.” He pauses. “Which, no one should be doing, by the way.”

“What should we not be doing?” Elide asks, entering with a giant funnel cake in her hands. She’s followed by Connall and Vaughan and Gavriel, which means that Rowan’s lunch break is up. He groans. He’s not ready to deal with those crowds again. And if the group’s faces are any indication, nothing has slowed in the minutes he took off to eat. Elide looks exhausted.

“Making out in the break room,” Rowan laughs.

“Oh please,” Elide scoffs. “What do you think Lorcan and I do every night when you guys leave?” Elide wiggles her eyebrows at Lorcan, who turns bright red. His hands tug at his long hair, unsure what to do with himself. Rowan can tell he wants to be mad at Elide, but he thinks Lorcan is physically incapable of actually getting angry with her.

“Ellie,” he whines, but she just giggles as she stuffs a piece of funnel cake into her mouth. Her lips become coated in powdered sugar, and she purses her lips and motions to Lorcan.

“Come get some sugar.” She winks, and Lorcan looks conflicted as he looks at her lips and everyone else in the room. Ultimately, Elide’s lips win, and Lorcan leans down and gives her a quick kiss as everyone else in the room whoops. His entire body is flushed as he narrows his eyes at the bystanders.

“Not a word,” he warns.

Fenrys sighs loudly. “Man, did everyone get a girlfriend this summer but me?” he asks. Connall and Vaughan sit down next to him, and as the conversation turns to summer gossip, Rowan extracts himself and heads to the kiddie section of the park, where he’ll be on rotation all afternoon.

The rest of the day is even more miserable than the first half. Children are crying, upset with waiting for hours and missing their nap times; Rowan sympathizes – he’d love a nap, too. The crowds become angrier the longer they have to wait, and Rowan realizes the park is not equipped for this many people. They have no idea how to manage the crowds. And he almost witnesses a full on riot when one of the food stands runs out of ice cream bars. It’s a mess.

Somehow, he manages to keep his cool with the angry patrons, and he practically runs back to the Ashryvers’ as soon as the day is finished.

The entire family, plus Dorian, sits outside on their back patio as Emrys brings out platters of food, which smell absolutely delicious. Fleetfoot waits happily under the table, tail wagging, ready for scraps to fall. Rowan’s stomach rumbles as he approaches, seeing the spread of salads, biscuits and corn on the cobb.

“Wine?” Aelin offers him a large glass, and Rowan accepts it happily.

Gavin runs straight for his legs and wraps his tiny arms around them. He pats the top of the small boy’s head, unable to interact much more than that in his current state of exhaustion.

“Oh, sweetie, I can get you a beer, if you prefer,” Evalin says, but Rowan shakes his head and takes a large sip of the cold wine. “You look utterly exhausted.” She holds out a chair, and Rowan slinks into it without a second thought.

“The park was…” Rowan begins, but he stops himself short, not wanting to insult his bosses. Aelin sees it in his face.

“A nightmare?” Rhoe laughs. “We know.” He fills his own glass again. “We left early in the afternoon. We were not ready for those crowds.”

Evalin sighs. “The board is meeting about it tomorrow. We need to come up with some kind of solution other than hiring people to help with the parking lot. Luckily, this summer is almost over. But if this is how it is next summer… We need to get organized.”

Rowan thought the same thing throughout the day, but he’s unsure if he should bring up his suggestion. He knows his opinion likely holds no weight with this family, despite how outwardly friendly they are to him.

“Have you ever been to Disneyland?” Rowan asks, deciding to speak up after all.

“The competition?” Evalin raises an eyebrow, and Rowan becomes slightly self-conscious. He takes another sip of his wine. But Evalin cracks a smile, clearly teasing him, and Rowan relaxes. “I’m kidding. Yes, we’ve been there. But not since Aelin was nearly a baby.” Evalin smiles wider, staring at her daughter. “All Aelin wanted to do was to meet Mickey. It’s all she talked about the entire trip. We waited for over two hours to meet him, and when we got to the front, she screamed bloody murder. Just cried and cried…”

Aedion laughs loudly. “Oh my god, I remember that. She was terrified of him.”

Aelin frowns. “Okay, when you’re a toddler and you love Mickey, you expect him to be the size of a mouse, not a GIANT.” She shudders. “I still don’t like the characters.”

Rowan laughs and rubs her arm reflexively. He only realizes what he’s done when Dorian catches his eye. He pulls his hand away quickly, and prays no one noticed. Aelin seems unfazed as she sips more of her wine.

“A-anyway,” Rowan continues, “I know Disney is very different from Playland, but… the one thing they’re great at is crowd control.”

Rhoe and Evalin nod in agreement, so Rowan continues.

“Besides hiring people to direct car traffic and foot traffic, which, is definitely an important part of it – I think they really got a handle on things when they created their app,” he explains. “It’s an interactive map of the park where you can check ride wait times, see the daily schedule, preorder food, make reservations…” Rowan looks around the table and notices all eyes are on him, listening with rapt attention. “Playland isn’t big enough to need all of that, but it couldn’t hurt to have some of it. Everyone loves an app.”

“That’s not a terrible idea.” Evalin looks to Rhoe.

Lysandra turns toward Rowan and narrows her eyes. “Rowan, weren’t you telling us you used to work as a programmer for a start up?” she asks, and Rowan nods uncomfortably. He doesn’t like this many eyes on him. Especially when he’s talking about himself.

“You did?” Rhoe asks.

“Yeah. Not for very long,” Rowan admits. “The start up went under pretty quickly. Bad investors.” He pauses, then continues. “But I did computer engineering for the Army before then. I could make you a mock up, if you wanted?”

“That is very sweet to offer,” Evalin says, her voice sounding too saccharine to Rowan’s ears. “But I don’t think we’re anywhere near that step yet.”

Rowan smiles, but he can’t help but feel like he’s been blown off. He should have known they only see him as park staff. He does appreciate Lysandra taking him seriously, though.

The conversation dies down as Emrys brings out a large plate of brightly colored lobsters. Rowan can count the amount of times he’s had lobster on one hand. It’s a delicious luxury, one that Rowan absolutely loves, but is completely inexperienced with. He watches Aelin pull the claws with a slight twist away from the body and crack the shell, pulling the meat out. He mimics her actions, but somehow ends up crushing the shell into multiple pieces with his clumsy fingers.

As Aelin dips her piece into butter and drops it into her mouth, she sees Rowan’s struggle and leans over to help.

“Here,” she whispers as she takes her knife and cracks open the knuckles for him. He feels like a child. In fact, he notices Lysandra doing the same thing for Gavin and Evie.

“I can do it,” he protests, but Aelin has already finished cracking it for him. He sighs as she moves to twist off the tail, hoping his cheeks aren’t red with the embarrassment he feels.

His embarrassment fades quickly, though, when he sees Evalin reaching over to do the same thing to Rhoe’s lobster. Rowan looks at Aelin, who doesn’t seem to realize she’s completely mirroring her parents’ behavior and smiles behind the rim of his wine glass, which has been magically refilled.

Dinner is just as delicious as Rowan hoped it’d be, and by the end of the night he’s feeling sated and sleepy and buzzed on wine. Evalin tells him he should spend the night, since he’s not safe to drive yet, but Rowan can’t actually justify wearing his gross uniform again tomorrow. And as loathe as he is to spend a night away from Aelin, he knows he needs to go home.

“I can stay for another hour or so and sober up and then head home,” Rowan says, but his large yawn gives away his current state of fatigue.

“We can give you a ride if you want?” Lysandra offers, and Aedion readily agrees, but Rowan isn’t sure how he’d get to work the next morning without his truck.

“Fireheart, are you sober?” Rhoe asks, and Aelin nods. Rowan did notice she stopped drinking after her first glass of wine. He should have, too, but she just kept refilling it. It barely takes Rowan a second to realize that Aelin was trying to get him drunk, trying to get him to stay over. He shakes his head, sorry for her failed efforts.

“Why don’t you drive Rowan home, and then you can take an Uber back home?”

Aelin agrees, and says she’ll be quiet coming back in, in case her parents are asleep. After a round of goodbyes, Aelin and Rowan walk back to his truck where it’s still in the far corner of the Playland parking lot.

He tosses her the keys and watches as she moves her hand over the gears. As they drive, Rowan realizes he’s never seen Aelin behind the wheel before, and there’s something incredibly sexy about watching her maneuver his giant truck. By the time they reach Rowan’s street, Rowan can’t wait any longer. As soon as Aelin parks, he pulls her over to his lap and kisses her.

She squeals as he plants sloppy kisses on her face. Their kisses become more heated as it continues, so much that the windows start to steam up. His hands roam across her back and slide up her tank top, relishing in her bare skin. He just wants her all the time. Always.

Aelin pulls away and smiles. “I thought you were tired.”

“I am,” Rowan admits through another yawn. “That’s why if you come up, you’re going to have to do all the work.”

Aelin snorts, making Rowan laugh. It’s the cutest thing in the world. When she snorts. No other girl could make snorting cute, but Aelin somehow manages to.

“This is what you get for getting me drunk,” he says, letting her know he was well aware of her plan.

Aelin snickers as she opens the door and slides off his lap. She pulls on his arms, and Rowan stumbles out of the cab. And when they get upstairs, Aelin shows Rowan she’s more than happy to do all the work, and then some.

Rowan’s drunk heart feels like it’s going to explode as she moves on top of him, and he has to physically stop himself from saying the three words he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about all day. I love you, he thinks to himself. I never want you to leave. I want to be with you forever.

His resistance snaps. He’s too tired, too ready to put his entire heart into this thing. The lid he’s tried so carefully to keep on his feelings, explodes. The dam bursts, crumbling and cracking under the weight of his emotions, and he lets them tumble out, spilling everywhere, coating his skin where she touches him. He is lost to her, and he’s ready to burn.

~*~*~*~*~

let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters – ask me HERE

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[magos-dominus]

FFVII: REMAKE Exists to Mock Your Pain

This is a post about Aerith Gainsborough.

If you are wondering, this is not a post about shipping.  It is also very long. 

I do talk about the love triangle from a narrative construction and game design standpoint, though. If that interests you, go ahead. If not, scroll on.

+++ Open Spoilers for FFVII (1997) and FFVII: REMAKE +++

So, my reading of FFVII’s infamous Love Triangle has always been that, in the text, there, uh…

Isn't one.

Not really.

The structure of the entire narrative and the trajectory of Cloud's and Tifa's character arcs are built around the two of them baring their vulnerabilities at each other in a rare moment of acceptance, connection, and understanding. You might argue that we never see them physically intimate, here them say those three little words, or even engage in a few PDAs, that the nature of their relationship isn’t clear.

But to be honest?

Who cares that we don’t?

Something we can learn from Good Omens is that, if two characters have to kiss or fuck or say ‘I love you’ to convince you that they’re head over heels for each other, the story is either poorly written or you don’t really understand the meaning of the word.

I have a higher opinion of this game than that, and I want to have a high opinion of you, gentle reader.

The Lifestream Sequence is the emotional climax of the game’s narrative. The rest is simply clean up and denouement. However, that fact does beg the question: "What then, is the narrative purpose of Aerith's attraction to Cloud?"

To start, it's not a connection to Zack Fair, given that in the OG he's more plot device than person. So, what is it then?

I'd argue, that through a combination of incident and design, the Triangle exists at the crux of two competing narrative threads, held in tension by the fact that, as an audience, we share our perspective with the POV character, Cloud in this instance, and the plot works through him to us, most of the time. These two narrative threads are:

Establishing and foreshadowing Cloud's romantic feelings for Tifa as present and important to him and his character.

Getting the audience, not Cloud, to fall in love with Aerith Gainsborough.

If you’ll allow me to put my Doylist hat on for a moment, I have some trivia for you.

As an interesting hiccup of human psychology, the wad of soggy bacon that is your brain is incapable of distinguishing, on an emotional level, between real people and fictional ones. This is why you can start to feel like, after watching the same streamer or listening to the same podcast for long enough, you might start to feel like the hosts are your friends, even if you logically know that isn't true. It is the fundamental psychological reason fiction can resonate with us, despite us knowing it’s, fundamentally, an entertaining lie. Video games, as an interactive medium, can dig into this phenomenon like no other form of storytelling. With Aerith, you might have spent 20 to 30 hours with her by the time you get to the Forgotten Capital. You’ve laughed and fought and maybe cried with her across two continents and a trio of plot arcs. She’s a person the audience has, via Cloud, shared a whirlwind, globe-spanning adventure.

The reason that its her death, out of all the other fictional deaths we’ve experienced, out of all the deaths within FFVII itself, that hurts the most, is because that, by the time she leaves the Temple of the Ancients on her own, she doesn’t just feel like Cloud’s friend.

Its over just when she feels like she’s become yours.

Not content to simply to explore the grieving process of its own characters, FFVII reaches out to take something from you, and have you grieve with them.

A recurring and oft-pointed-out design decision is the empty space left by Aerith after she dies. Holes in group formations, gaps in menus, etc. Places where she used to be. A reminder of the loss, or more optimistically, a commentary on how she’s still with the party in spirit.

I would argue that it might just as easily be you in that space. AVALANCHE is a rag-tag group of misfits bound together by their grief, and when you leave the Forgotten Capital, you’ve been blooded. You’re trauma-bonded to the group now, and you’re all there, shoulder-to-shoulder to do right by your fallen friend.

It’s a gimmick that appears on the ludic level as well. Cloud’s various panic attacks, out-of-body experiences, and struggles for control are experienced by the audience through the mechanics. Sephiroth manipulates Cloud by disrupting, blocking, and limiting your connection to him. he isn’t just denying Cloud agency, he’s reaching out through the fourth wall to deny you your own.

To personally victimize you.

Once you leave the Forgotten Capital, the dialogue choices vanish. You are no longer Cloud’s co-pilot. The trauma and grief has severed that connection you had with him. You can’t do anything to help or guide him anymore. He’s on his own and you, along with Tifa, have to watch him slip out of your grasp and into the hands of an enemy all three of you are powerless to fight.

Final Fantasy VII isn’t a video game.

Final Fantasy VII is an elaborate mouse trap masquerading as a late-90′s JRPG, and Aerith Gainsborough, part-time human, full-time hello kitty monster truck, is an insidiously crafted piece of fine Swiss Gouda. It is designed, from script to visuals to music, to fill your heart to bursting and then run it over with a sixteen-wheeler; then leave you reeling for long enough that you don’t hear the tell-tale crunch of rubber-on-asphalt as it backs up over your pulped torso for good measure.

Which brings us to REMAKE. Namely, why did they cut a lot of scenes from the OG’s script that heavily featured Aerith flirting with Cloud? Or suggested there might be something there, between them, to the audience? It’s for the same reason that Sephiroth no longer has his trademark slow-burn rise to the center of the stage.

Those plot points no longer served their narrative purpose.

REMAKE is, functionally, a pseudo-sequel. A retelling that exists in conversation with a past version of itself, and is constructed with the assumption that the audience is, at least passingly, familiar with its legacy. 

Sephiroth doesn’t get a mysterious build-up because everyone already knows who he is and what he’s about, he and Aerith are familiar with at least a broad-strokes version of the script because the audience already knows it by heart, Cloud gets headache flashbacks of scenes from the OG when we see something we know will be picked up down the line, and Aerith isn’t pushed as hard as a love interest to the audience because we’re already attached to her at the hip.

Aerith seemingly knows about her fate, and while the game leans heavily on suggesting Tifa and Cloud’s shared romantic feelings, even moreso than the original did in this segment, it still holds space for Cloud to pursue Aerith, should you choose. However, she all but talks past him and directly to the audience in her Chapter 14 Resolution scene, warning us away and signposting an oncoming tragedy so that we might brace for it when the time comes and spare us any unnecessary pain.

Her character development gets fast tracked too, through knowledge granted from the Arbiters, she grows quickly towards her late-disk-one identity as the Last Ancient. She gets a piece of the closure with Zack she might get at the Gold Saucer on her date with Cloud, a chance to say goodbye to the last bit of her normal life before she was able to fully embrace the fact that it was gone. She even gets the closing speech this time, last words usually reserved for the protagonist.

But that’s what she is at the end of REMAKE, isn’t it? The only one on the same playing field as Sephiroth and the only one who might be on the same page as the audience. Equal parts the Aerith that just left Midgar and the Aerith that we saw leave for the Forgotten Capital back in 1997, on a mission to protect her friends from the danger that lay on the path she knew she had to walk. 

All of us now get to walk that path on more time.

Maybe this time we’ll get to walk it with her. Maybe this time we’ll get that happy ending. Hell, maybe Zack makes it out fine too and we get that heartfelt reunion our hearts bled for when finished Crisis Core. Maybe yours is still bleeding.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

The Arbiters subplot exists to taunt us with these possibilities, to roll back our grief from acceptance to bargaining to denial, if we ever reached those stages to begin with. I can almost see our girl getting to go home this time, safe and happy and surrounded by her newfound misfit family, free of the crippling loneliness that’s haunted her entire life.

But to be honest?

All I can see is a better mouse trap.

[mightydragoon]

Prince Luke fanfic Recs

@silvereddaye you know the drill

For all your Prince Luke Skywalker/ Amidala/Organa etc needs.  Also ft a lot of Leia Skywalker along with that. 

1. The Prince and the Bodyguard  Toomanyfandoms99

Bail is unsure why he’s being told this, but he is intrigued. “Where is the boy now?”

“Here,” Mon smiles, “on this base, being cared for by Shara Bey and Kes Dameron.”

Bail nods upon recognizing the names. Shara is their best pilot, and Kes is their best combat leader.

“However,” Mon states, “they cannot care for the boy full-time. There is something...unique about him. Something you are more equipped to handle.”

Bail narrows his eyes. “What?”

“Ezra Bridger is Force-sensitive,” Mon reveals.

Bail leans back in his chair and blinks once. “I see…”

“If your son is anything like his true parents,” Mon says, “he will soon require guidance. This boy also requires that guidance.”

“So,” Bail says, “you want me to shield them both from the Empire. Get them a...teacher.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22633573/chapters/54092221

2.First Impressions   Idhren15

Mara Jade attended the rich party on Coruscant for one purpose: to kidnap the Alderaan heir, Prince Luke Organa.

She didn't expect any of these complications.

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/22740592

3. Crowned Usurper  planningconquest

Princess Leia managed to capture the elusive rebel Jedi. She finds someone she never expected.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17663147/chapters/41657678

4.  The kidnappings of a Sith Lord  maedre13

How a certain Sith Lord may or may not kidnap his rebel son. One-shots. Strongly inspired by sparklight´s “Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn´t Get Away”.

Current chapter: In which the prince of the Sith gets a new bodyguard (3/3)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606992/chapters/23453241

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606992/chapters/52681459 (Part 1)

(Note* Fic is episodic often not connecting, sometimes is, so there is a good variety of stories, some involving Prince Luke others not) 

5. Sparks  SpellCleaver

Vader had every intention of ignoring that petty—if notorious—burglar on Coruscant, until evidence suggested that this "Angel" had Rebel ties.

Meanwhile, Luke never expected his father to actively hunt him down, and he doesn't like it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031373/chapters/47433331

6. No Distance Far Enough   KaelinaLovesLomaris

Imperial Prince Luke Skywalker is kidnapped by the Rebellion. His father is not happy.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17549516

7. Hostage  Slx99

AU in which Luke grows up as the Prince of Alderaan and Bail and Breha Organa’s son. When Luke is sixteen Bail becomes too outspoken against the Emperor, who sends Lord Vader to take the young prince as a hostage and cow his father into submission. Held captive aboard Vader’s ship, Luke is faced with the unpleasant reality of being the pawn in this power play under his captor’s watchful eyes; until they both realize a thing or two…

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9707774/chapters/21902741

8. Hostage Interludes  Slx99

Interlude pieces of the ‘Hostage’ universe from my ongoing long-fic that don't fit into the main story, but which I still wanted to share. Some will be more fun, others more serious. They have no influence on the main story.

Basic premise of the main story: Luke grew up with Bail and Breha Organa as the Prince of Alderaan. When Bail becomes too outspoken against Palpatine he orders Vader to take the young prince as a Hostage. Luke now lives aboard the Executor. He finds out rather soon that Vader is his father and the story goes from there.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148811/chapters/35129507

9.  Hostage

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1063433

10. Runaway   SilverDaye

Imperial Prince Luke runs away from home to escape his overprotective father Emperor Vader. Jumping from planet to planet he finds himself creditless on Tatooine. While working for more money to leave the planet, Luke meets an old man named Ben Kenobi. But Luke knows he can't stay in one place for long for surely his father is hunting him down.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630196/chapters/33813027

11.A Song of Dragon's Fire & Slaves Blood   Fan0fFIM17

A Slave is finally truly made Free.

Lost in a strange primitive Land, he takes advantage of his circumstances to rise to the position of King. A Slave, a Jedi Knight, a Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, Father, Son, all this and more. Read as he Fights for the Iron-Throne!

Winter Is Coming!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15400920/chapters/35743227

12. My sister has it    jedileia (cptnwintersoldier)

"You want me to fight my dad? Kill him? How could you think I would be capable on any of that, after what I just heard? Have I been training just so I could kill my father? Is that what this Jedi training was about? If so then i deeply regret the evening I went to look for parts for my speeder and ended up at Obi-Wan's yard."

Leia, a farm girl from Tatoiine, learns that she is force sensitive and the daughter of the evil Darth Vader, once known as Anakin Skywalker. She begins her Jedi training, meets her twin brother Luke Organa and confronts his father.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6537682/chapters/14957098

13. what is lost in the darkness.....hanorganaas

Starkiller is destroyed, the great Jedi Hero who saved the Galaxy Leia Skywalker Solo and her husband Han are presumed dead, and Luke mourns. But he isn't alone in his grief

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7668604

14. our eyes; they were pointed at the sky (looking for answers) pieandsouffle

The last few weeks have been a nightmare: Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are dead and gone, the farm is skeletal and dead, she found out her father was a Jedi, brutally murdered by a traitorous friend, and now she's going to die because Han Solo is an incompetent nerf-herder who is apparently completely incapable of opening a krething door.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159772/chapters/24904917

15.  Possibilities of If May Be - Valerie_Vancollie

Co-authored by Selinthia Avenchesca.

What if two different Star Wars realities started to merge?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12946578

16.  Skywalker Swap -  stitchy

https://archiveofourown.org/series/930435

(Note Series is a mixture of a fancomic and a fanfic and it is glorious) 

17. There Is Another  stitchy

A comicbook retelling of Episode IV in the spirit of the old Star Wars Infinities!

Luke and Leia are placed in opposite homes after the fall of the Republic. Young Leia Skywalker is called to adventure when she meets two droids that belong to the strange witch, Old Kah.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597686/chapters/23428284

(Note* Seriously this comic retelling is fantastic ) 

18 Here Among The Clouds   stitchy

In a universe where Leia Skywalker joins the Rebel Alliance of her long lost brother Prince Luke Organa, the Millenium Falcon and her crew arrive to Cloud City with a fully functioning hyperdrive. In the weeks following the Battle of Hoth, Lando Calrissian becomes entangled in their their quest to defeat the evil Empire. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13507038

19. A Farm girl, a Twink, and an Uber driver-  Daniellecluck

This is literally just a collection of drabbles of a New Hope rescue scene various original trilogy scenes but gayer and Luke and Leia swapped places.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345347/chapters/30553272

20. The Adventures of Leia Skywalker, Episode One: The New Hope   MaraWinchester

Nineteen-year-old Leia Skywalker lives with her Aunt and Uncle on the remote desert planet Tatooine, where there’s something ready to kill you behind every corner. Three moons make the nights bitterly cold, and the two suns makes the days unbearably hot. When a droid bought by her uncle contains a message by a prince, asking for help from a legendary Jedi Knight, Leia senses her ticket off world. Little does she know that her journey will take her right and center to a galaxy torn apart by war, involve smugglers of ill repute, and possibly shed more information on her father that she could possibly imagine...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8122483/chapters/18619693

21.  Another Kind of Hope  Skyrissian (ErinacchiLove)

In a period of a galactic civil war, the brave Rebel Alliance has won their first victory against the Galactic Empire and stolen the plans of the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star.

When the starship of Prince Luke Organa, who is transporting the plans, falls under the Empire's attack, the future of the galaxy depends on two droids carrying the secret plans and their new owner, a farm girl named Leia Skywalker.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18705637

22 The Princess, the Smuggler and the Sith Lord's Son  Sassaphrass

Han Solo was trying to rescue her Royal Annoyingness from the Death Star when he runs smack into Vader's kid. Naturally he does the logical thing and takes him hostage. This is where the story starts. OR

Luke just wanted to get some snacks when he ran into a Wookie, a Princess and a Space Pirate. The day's pretty much downhill from there.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5751661/chapters/13252696

23. At Least the War is Over  Sassaphrass

The only thing Luke and Leia have in common are those nine months they spent in the womb and that time they brought down the Empire.

It's hard to build a new family when the last one got blown to smithereens with the entire planet, but Leia's never thought anything worthwhile would be easy.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12663834

24. His Imperial Highness Luke Amidala -  Sassaphrass 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/744999

25.  Chiaroscuro  SpellCleaver

A series of oneshots focusing on Luke and Vader's relationship, with other characters occasionally thrown into the mix. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363772/chapters/38293637

26. Prince Luke Organa: A New Hope   -lightningbisexual

An AU where Leia was sent to Tatooine with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and Luke was sent to Alderaan as the prince. It begins from where Luke is captured by the Empire in A New Hope. I follow more his story than Leia's because we all know she's going to be a badass on her own and I really want to see Luke grow up and learn to face his fears.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024390/chapters/45181531

(Note* see sequel below Leia centric) 

27.  Leia Skywalker: The Empire Strikes Back  lightningbisexual

A continuation of my twin swap fic. Leia Skywalker is being sought by the Dark Side and the Light, who both hope to use her power for their own agendas. However, her ferocity and anger make it difficult for her to train as a Jedi. Han Solo is also developing feelings for Prince Luke Organa and has no goddamn clue how to deal with it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20533487/chapters/48737117

28. Between the Light and Shadows: Luke & Vader One-Shots  SilverDaye

One-shot collection focused on Luke and Vader. All AU.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15128117/chapters/48583628

29. How the Other Half Lives -aradian_nights

(Note* How can I talk about Prince Luke fics without mentioning them cause WOW. 10/10.  I  highly recommend even if you aren’t a fan of the Prince Luke trope cause wow. It is something.  Warning: Angst . )

https://archiveofourown.org/series/609151. 

Trial and Error - https://archiveofourown.org/works/8417668

Layers of Dust  -  https://archiveofourown.org/works/8900971

For Love of a Queen - https://archiveofourown.org/works/9342596/chapters/21167591

Deep Doubt-  https://archiveofourown.org/works/10361913

Vision Void-  https://archiveofourown.org/works/10628475/chapters/23511120

Fate Defied- https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947714

When Destinies Split -  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017986/chapters/24552093

Risk and Chance - https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506092/chapters/25817655

A Shout in the  Dark -  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11699232/chapters/26341971

Walking the Line Between - https://archiveofourown.org/works/13172817/chapters/30129249

AO3 Tag

https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Prince%20Luke/works

[writethehousedown]

New sensations, Sweet temptations Chapter one (Crygi/Jan x Rock) - Winter

A/n: huge thanks to emerald for betaing this, it’s been like a solid month of planning then like a week of actually writing it but i’m proud to finally be able to put chapter one of my first multichap out here, it’s a little short but a lot of fun, enjoy a soft highschool au of the s12 girls

The end of spring, transitioning into the start of summer, was a strange time. It was getting hot but school was still going for a little longer. People got restless, wanting for anything interesting to happen. The desire to spend time in the sun with friends grew stronger day by day until a beach trip was suggested. 

The second the words beach trip were uttered in the group, all previous conversations were lost. The idea of a beach trip made all the girls excited.

Jackie had been the one to suggest it, knowing her friends well enough to know they would all agree. It had been a while since all eight of them had done something together, making it extra appealing. 

“There’s a beach that’s a 20 minute drive away from here. How does everyone feel about going next Saturday?”

The resounding chatter of approval was all Jackie needed. Plans were made and excited chatter was shared for the next week. With the explosion of energy that half of their friend group was, it sure was a lot to deal with.

Jan was always excited. In the run up to the beach trip she held her usual enthusiasm that rarely seemed to droop. She had rambled about how excited she was multiple times in the past week. After the fourth time it had become somewhat grating to the other girls. That didn’t phase her though, returning with the same bright enthusiasm day after day. 

The excitement spread as the days went by though. Rock soon joined Jan in her excitement, not wanting to leave the blonde alone in her enthusiasm. Crystal had followed soon after, talking non-stop about how fun it was going to be. 

She totally wasn’t also excited to see Gigi in summer clothes, absolutely not. The thought of the redhead in shorts messed with her brain. She could wear anything and make it look good though. That was the power of Gigi Goode and what Crystal thought to be the endless beauty. 

Gigi herself was minorly excited. She hoped for an opportunity for some alone time with Crystal. The two of them at a beach had potential to be exciting. Gigi resolved to offer to buy the green-haired girl some ice cream when the chance arose on the day.

— 

The day had started well enough for the group. Knowing half of them struggled to ever get up on time, it was an achievement they were all together half an hour after the agreed meeting time.

“Jan, are you incapable of being on time?” Nicky asked, tapping her foot impatiently and giving her fellow blonde a light glare before turning her attention back to jaida. 

 Jan just laughed. None of them apart from Jackie, Jaida and Heidi had been on time. The fault did not lie fully on her. Nicky was impatient as ever though, choosing the easiest target for her irritation after waiting for 20 minutes.

“Who decided to let the two slowest girls arrive together anyway? Don’t think I forgot about you  Rock. How much did you have to do with the lateness?”

Nicky was as blunt as ever, not waiting to poke into the issue. She knew full well neither girl was good at being on time. Combining their chaos was an awful idea. She sent an annoyed glare to the two of them, although it didn’t phase the pair. They were always off in their own world when together, it was a mix of amusing to watch and infuriating to actually deal with. 

“Calm it Nicky, we don’t need to argue. At least we’re all here, close enough to being on time.” Jackie spoke in her authoritative mother voice that always sorted out the childish bickering. It was inevitable in a large group of loud girls but that didn’t mean there was no way to control it.

The group made their way to the beach, Nicky and Jaida splitting off to find a good place to sunbathe. 

Crystal and Rock seemed to have the same idea, glancing at the water then at each other with a devious grin. Jan and Gigi exchanged a nervous look, knowing what the girl’s could do when teamed up with no one to stop them. 

Shortly, they were all in bathing suits ready for the day. Jan’s gaze caught on Rock in her pink frilly mess of a swimsuit. It was something only she could pull off that well. Not only that, her best friend’s body was more revealed than normal. Maybe it was the shock that was keeping the blonde’s eyes trained on the muscular arms currently swinging wildly in the water aiming to splash Crystal before she could be splashed herself. 

There was nothing odd about that. Not one thing. Just a friend admiring their good friends figure.

But it wasn’t just that. Jan’s mind was racing at the sight of Rock and her toned body. She was confused, having not given the girl this much visual attention in all the years they had known each other. 

Her totally normal appreciation was interrupted by a bemused Gigi, tapping her on the shoulder with a knowing smirk. 

“I know that look, it’s the same look Nicky always gives to Jaida. Didn’t think you were into loud pastel nerds, very interesting Jan.”

The blonde jolted in shock. There was no way she looked at Rock the way Nicky looked at Jaida. The French girl did nothing to hide her obvious interest in the self-proclaimed essence of beauty. Her looks were often one of obvious, unfiltered attraction and appreciation. Jan and Rock were different. They didn’t flirt constantly, they were just two best friends who looked at each other with affection due to their close bond. 

Right? 

She couldn’t dwell on it too long, a loud voice called her name. Rock was beckoning her over with a large, gleeful grin that made the blonde’s heart flutter. 

For all the staring, Rock herself had failed to catch on to any longing gaze from the blonde, instead preoccupied by attempting to win the ongoing water fight between her and Crystal.

“Geeg, you too! Help me win this!” the excitement in Crystal’s tone brought Gigi in, her heart warming at the childlike wonder twinkling her eyes. The redhead maintained her composure, but agreed to help fight the losing battle.  

Jan and her walked over, with the blonde preoccupied with messing around with her pink haired friend  the moment she got into the water. Gigi didn’t buy Jan’s refusal for a second but knew rather well that it wasn’t her place to pry. At least not yet. 

Crystal bounced in excitement at Gigi joining her, greeting her with a welcoming splash, soaking the neatly tied up red hair the Gigi had tried hard to not mess up too badly. 

The look on her face must have said it all as Crystal backed up slightly, an innocent smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Gigi returned the smile, inching closer and using both of her arms to create a large splash, completely drenching Crystal and making her giggle with glee.

Something about the way her soaked green hair stuck to her face was adorable, that and the smile. The soft smile that sent Gigi crazy. The one she just wanted to kiss and be the one to cause to as long as she could. Only Crystal would smile like that after being splashed by a large amount of water. 

Outwardly, Gigi only smiled slightly before setting her eyes on their competition. Of course Jan and Rock had teamed up. But Gigi was confident she could get the pair drenched with ease, or that was her idea before Crystal excitedly ran forward, attempting to get the girls while putting herself at an easy range. 

Gigi held back a laugh when her friend got soaked by two well timed splashes from the opposing girls. Her heart sank at the look of betrayal Crystal had, but was soon boosted up as the green-haired girl cracked an adorable smile. God damn it, Crystal was doing things to Gigi that made her just want to kiss this girl.

Deciding to play the honourable hero, she lept into action, delivering a considerably large splash to distract Jan and Rock before moving Crystal out of their splashing range. 

The little giggle Crystal let out at seeing how Gigi managed to soak both Jan and Rock made her heart twist and flutter even more than before. 

Their little battle continued, eventually ending in a defeat when Jan almost fell, her whole body almost dropping into the water before Rock instinctively caught her. 

That didn’t complicate her feelings further. Absolutely not.

Jan’s mind was left wondering and confused at the day’s events. She seemed absent as they grabbed food and ice cream with the whole group, only really returning when she turned to face Rock before the pair drove home. 

“Rock, how did you know you were gay?”

[oliviastan17]

Stuck (2/?)

Warnings:18+, language, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), fluff

Length: 2.7k

A/n: So I was going to change the character’s name so it wasn’t my name before I posted part 1 but I forgot and it’s too late to change it now. Oops! I hope you all are liking this series! DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER WEBSITE! Please reblog and send me comments! That makes me smile!

“Hey, I need 2 minutes. My shoes are being bitches,” Liv said as she opened the door and then walked barefoot over to her couch.

 Sebastian was incapable of speaking. All the air was knocked out of his lungs when he saw what she was wearing. The all black jumpsuit had a lace top with a nude color lining that almost made it seem like there was no lining at all. The spaghetti straps and low sweetheart neckline made her forgo a bra and the pants began at her slim natural waist elongating her legs.

He walked into her apartment and over in her direction to see her struggling with the ankle strap on her black high heels.

“Fuck this. I’m wearing different shoes,” she said throwing the shoe she was holding on the couch as she stood up and then walked into her bedroom. She was too busy inspecting a scuff on her black pumps to notice that Sebastian had moved from her living room and was now standing in the doorway to her bedroom so she ran right into him.

“Oh, sorry!” she laughed.

She backed away from him just a little bit but was pulled back closer to him by his hands on her waist. His lips were kissing hers almost immediately. Liv smiled against his lips and brought her arms up around his shoulders while still holding her shoes. He broke the kiss only to say, “You look so fucking unbelievably sexy.”

Before she could even return the compliment he was attacking her lips with his again. She eventually dropped her hold on her shoes and they fell to the ground. She knew he was a good kisser but this was on a whole different level. Maybe it was because this wasn’t happening in an elevator, where she knew there were cameras, and not at the hospital she worked at but whatever the reason, she decided to allow herself to succumb to the way he made her feel. With any other date she would not have moved so fast but Sebastian was different. She may have only known him for a short time but there was no denying the connection they had.

She pushed his blue jacket off his shoulders and he took his hands off of her (but not his lips) to remove the jacket all the way. He reached around to her back to unzip her jumpsuit and then pushed the straps of it down her arms until it fell to the floor. Placing his hands back on her hips he guided her over to her bed and gently pushed her down onto it.

He quickly removed his shirt and then climbed between her legs and hovered over her. He grunted against her lips as he ground his clothed length up and down her clothed core.

Too many clothes he thought so he sat up and began to remove her black lace panties. These were a different lace pattern than the ones he had a brief viewing of in the elevator (he should know; he spent way too much time thinking about them). Once they were off he brought his lips back onto Liv’s for a deep kiss and then started kissing his way down her body until his face was between her legs.

He teased her most sensitive spot before he pulled away only to lick in between her folds and all the way back up to her clit. Judging by the gasp she made and the fact that her hand was now gripping his hair, he knew she was enjoying what he was doing. Two of his fingers entered her core and caressed her g-spot while his tongue flicked her nub.

“Shit!” she whispered as her breathing became quicker and her grasp on his hair got tighter. He didn’t let up and made both his fingers and tongue move faster until she was coming like she never had before.

After he helped her ride out her orgasm he brought his lips back up to hers for one deep kiss and then promptly stood up and removed his pants. She was still coming down from her high or else she would have enjoyed the sight.

Her hands gripped the back of his neck once he crashed his lips into hers. He held himself up with one arm while still kissing her and the other moved between her legs to guide his length into her. She moaned while he broke the kiss to murmur, “Oh fuck!”

Giving himself a few moments to fully appreciate how good she felt and giving Liv some time to adjust, he started slowly moving in and out of her. He started out with his head up by hers but then changed position so he was sitting up on his knees, thrusting and had the perfect view of her perfect body. He moved his hands to her inner thighs and spread her legs more than they were before.

“Goddamn,” was his response when her legs kept spreading until she was basically doing the splits. Well, she did say she did yoga. He couldn’t stop himself from bringing his face back down to kiss her lips and then her neck. He was sure the view couldn’t get any better than the one he had before but he soon found out he was wrong. He rolled so that she was sitting on top of him and that was a beautiful view! While Liv moved on top of him and combed her fingers through her hair to keep it out of her face he thought he was the luckiest man alive.

He had his hands resting on her hips in order to guide her to make the movements he liked but he didn’t need to. She was doing fucking amazing all on her own. The best he’d ever had. Her movements were slowing down just a little after he brought his thumb up to stimulate her clit making her come again so he turned both of them over so her back was against the bed once again.

With her legs wrapped around his waist he started pounding into her at a fast pace. He was kissing her neck while palming her breast and listening to the series of curses that escaped her lips. The moment she gripped his upper arm tightly and her back arched with yet another orgasm, he exploded in to her.

After kissing her he rolled off and lay down next to her. They were both looking up at the ceiling when Sebastian spoke.

“Fuck, I will forever be grateful for that elevator breaking down,” he said while still trying to catch his breath.

He listened to her laugh and then added, “You’re very flexible.”

She laughed again and then breathlessly said one word. “Yoga.”

“That’s what I figured,” he laughed and then looked at his watch. “We missed our reservation.”

Liv turned onto her side to face Sebastian and grabbed his wrist to look at his watch.

“Order in?” she asked.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Liv sat up and looked around her room for her robe but immediately fell back to laying down due to Sebastian’s hand grabbing her arm and pulling her back down. He softly placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her deeply.

She laughed against his lips, pulled away and said, “Easy Romeo. If we’re going to go another round, I need some sustenance first.”

“I guess I can’t really argue with that logic,” he said and gave her one more kiss before she got out of the bed and found her above the knee satin robe. Tying the belt around her waist, she walked out of her room and into the kitchen.

After Sebastian put his pants back on he walked out towards her kitchen and saw her flipping through some take out menus and leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Okay, we have Thai, sushi, Italian…oh come on!”

She said the last part when she turned her head and saw he was walking towards her with his abs on full display.

He stopped walking towards her and asked, “What?”

“How am I supposed to compete with all that?” she asked gesturing to his glorious body. “It’s like you are carrying the sexiness of 20 men!”

“You’re kidding right?” he said as he started walking back towards Liv who had started sorting through the menus again.

In all honestly, she knew that the yoga and all the cardio she did had sculpted her body into a beautiful shape but she never really thought of herself as sexy and she scoffed at his reply.

She was facing the counter and Sebastian came up behind her and swept her hair out of the way to start kissing her neck.

“You know what I think is sexy?” he asked between kisses as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“This spot by your collarbone,” he said as he gently dragged his fingers across the spot giving Liv goose bumps. 

“And the curve of your hips,” he said as he ran his hand down the side of her waist. 

“And your piercing right here,” he said as he placed his hand over her navel.

He turned Liv around and said, “These lips,” as he gently brushed his thumb along her lips followed by a kiss.

He pulled the satin fabric of the robe down her arm and said, “Your soft skin,” and then he kissed down from her neck to her exposed skin on her shoulder.

He placed slow kisses on her skin all the way back up her neck and then spoke into her ear with a deep voice, “You are the sexiest fucking woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

That was all it took. Round 2 began right then and there and was continued on the couch because the bed was 10 steps away and that was too far. Fuck food. That could wait. She wanted him now.

 —————————————————

The first words Sebastian spoke while Liv was still sitting on top of him after the mind blowing round two was, “I vote for Thai.”

“I vote sushi,” Liv replied laughing.

He smiled and brought his hands up to put them in position to play rock, paper, scissors.

“Is this how we are going to settle things now?”

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

She took a deep breath and then positioned her hands to play. Sebastian won the first and second round.

“I hate you,” she said as she rolled her eyes and climbed off of him.

“You’re a bad liar,” he laughed.

The food came and they stayed up until 2am just talking. Liv was a little worried that yesterday was a fluke and that they had used up all of their conversation topics in the elevator but she was wrong. There was more laughter and enjoyment tonight than in the elevator. The time flew by and Liv panicked when she finally noticed how late it was.

“Shit, it’s 2 am? Ugh, I have to work tomorrow.”

He looked at his watch and said, “Fuck, is it really? I should probably be heading home. I have an early meeting.”

“You’re never going to get a cab this late. Just stay here.”

He didn’t really need any more convincing. His mind was made up as soon as she said those words.

Liv set her alarm and then crawled into bed snuggling up to Sebastian. Her body fit perfectly next to his and he thought ‘I could get used to this’ as they both quickly fell asleep.

 —————————————————————

Sebastian didn’t stir at all when her alarm went off only 3 ½ hours later. She showered and did the bare minimum makeup, only doing enough to make it look like she wasn’t hit by a train.

She placed her knee the bed as she leaned in to kiss Sebastian until he woke up.

“I gotta go. There’s a key in the wooden bowl by the front door. Lock up when you leave.”

She started to stand up but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.

“Call in sick. Stay in bed.”

She laughed before saying, “I can’t. I’m the boss today.” She leaned down to kiss him one more time and then left for work.

Text messages 

How is your day going?

So busy. Or maybe it’s not really busy and I’m just so tired everything around me seems like it’s going fast. I can’t tell. Everyone else is hung over so the whole wing is a shit show.

I’m sorry. Anything I can do?

No, but thank you. I’m going to chug some coffee when I get a break.

How many people are working on your wing? You said everyone 

3 nurses, 2 CNA’s and the unit secretary. We are all dying.

She didn’t receive another text after that but she soon found out why.

Sebastian looked around as he walked into the unit carrying 2 drink holders of 8 coffees and a bag full of muffins. The unit secretary looked up and smiled at him as he set them down on the counter.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Yeah, does Liv work in this wing?”

“Oh. My. God. Liv didn’t tell me you were coming by!” Alex spoke as he walked towards Sebastian.

“She didn’t know. Is she busy?”

“She’s in a room but she shouldn’t be long,” he said and then rubbed his temples.

“Here. The coffee is for everybody,” he said handing Alex a cup.

“Any other day I would be freaking out that you are standing in front of me but right now I’m so hung over I’m actually not positive you are really here.”

Sebastian laughed and then asked, “Long night?”

“It was martini and manicure night at Lucky’s so yeah. If you are real, thanks for the coffee,” he said as he walked away.

“Oh my god! What are you doing here?” Liv asked as she walked out of her patient’s room and saw him.

“I come bearing gifts of caffeine and carbs,” he said smiling and gesturing to the beverages he set on the counter.

“You are the best,” she said when she finished walking over to him and then kissed him. “The coffee here blows.”

“Do you have a few minutes?

“Yeah, help me put these in the break room.”

Sebastian handed a coffee to the unit secretary and then followed Liv into the sorry excuse for a break room and placed the coffee on the table.

“Oh, you got banana bread?” she asked after looking through the bag with the food. “You really are the best!” she said as she gently pulled on his shirt to draw him in for a kiss.

“You are lucky to have me.”

Liv laughed as she added creamer to her coffee. “So you have nothing better to do than to bring everybody coffee?”

“No, meeting was quick and my costume fitting isn’t until 3pm. I’m dreading it though.”

“Aww poor little movie star has to get fitted,” she said with a smile.

“I bring you coffee and you make fun of me. Okay, I see how this relationship is going to be.”

“You know I’m kidding.”

The unit secretary poked her head in and asked, “We have a new admit coming up. 54 yo male with a chest tube. Where do you want him?”

Liv pulled her report sheet out of her pocket and gave it a look.

“Give him to Erin and let her know please,” she replied.

“It’s kinda hot. You being the boss,” Sebastian said and then bit his lip.

“It’s mostly exhausting,” Liv said.

The CNA came into the break room next and informed Liv that room 206 was requesting pain medication once again. Liv closed her eyes and tilted her head up to the ceiling before replying, “Okay,” to the CNA and telling Sebastian she had to get back to work.

“Am I seeing you tonight?” he asked wrapping his arms around her.

“If you want. I may be unconscious but technically you will be able see me.”

He laughed and then lifted her chin up so he could kiss her.

“Call me when you get home and I’ll come over.”

“Thank you for the coffee,” she said and then kissed him again.

As he left Liv was walking towards the med room and the unit secretary asked Liv, “How do I get a guy like that? He’s so sweet! And hot!”

“Sometimes you just get lucky and get stuck in an elevator with a dreamy stranger.”

“You are so damn lucky.”

“I know.”

——————————————–

Next Part

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[deandeclan]

TRIAL CLAIM FORM

The amount of effort that has gone into this form and into the expectations that you both have for your relationship is commendable. I’m happy to say that your trial claim has been approved. Congratulations.

Effective immediately TRIXABELLE CORENEO will move into ADAM BEISTE’s accommodations.

Name and Age of Dominant or Switch: Adam Beiste, 35

Name and Age of Switch or Submissive:Trixabelle Coreneo, 22

Education Completed:

Adam: 4 years of Teaching at Deveraux, an undergraduate and a postgraduate in education. My education and experience will not be a problem.

Trixabelle: Two terms of D/s school & a degree in Information and Archive Studies

Length of Relationship:

5 months (known each other for over ten years)

Why would you like to enter into a trial claim?

I have asked my submissive to be mine. I would like to enter into a claim with her, the trial period is a formality. I would like to enter into a claim with Trixabelle as she is my perfect submissive; she is a good girl who works hard to obey all of her rules, she is an excellent communicator, and highly intelligent which allows her to fully understand and interpret my wishes as I communicate them. Trixabelle is my equal partner, and shows this to me every day that we are together. Our morals match, our bodies respond to each other, and I have no doubts that going forward, we will be a strong and loving couple with each other. I am drawn to her as she is to me, and we will be spending the rest of our lives together. A trial claim is a necessary stepping stone to achieving lifelong bliss.

Most simply because I know in my heart I have found the man who’s submissive I would like to be. Up until I started scening with Adam I never really felt comfortable doing scenes or engaging in submission beyond simple domestic tasks however since the very first scene that Adam and I had together I have felt comforted and supported and that is how I would like to feel for the rest of my life. To be even more direct.. I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He never talks over me, or makes me feel stupid or like I’m incapable and more than anyone else ever in my life he listens to me and makes me feel wanted and cared for. I know that no matter what he’ll always look after me.

Do you feel you know your partner well enough on a personal level?

I have known Trixabelle for years as an acquaintance, I know her public persona and who she projects to be to others. I have known her casually and have learned who she wants to be. More recently, I have learned the person she is, in private. I have learned her dreams and ambitions, I have learned her private personality and her humour, I have learned of her history and her views. I know Trixabelle on every level that a person can know someone else, and she has let me into her world. Likewise, she has been studious in learning about me and my wishes. Trixabelle anticipates my wants and needs and I like to think that I do the same for her.

I have known Adam for the majority of my adult life first as a customer at my parents restaurant and then as a family friend, I understand the life that he is looking to make for himself and I feel confident that it matches with my own hopes and expectations. Similarly having known him for so long I am more than aware of his likes and dislikes, and also the kind of lifestyle that he leads. Anything that I don’t know I believe that I’m more than capable of learning over the course of the rest of our lives together.

Do you feel as though you have learned enough about you and your partners limits and expectations of the relationship as a whole?

Our strong communication allows us to continue to be on the same page with our understanding and expectations of each other. Trixabelle and I have discussed what we want, and have no fears in discussing what we don’t want. We will continue to explore our limits together as our relationship changes to become more serious and long-term. And again, we can be clear and truthful with each other to overcome the hurdles of time.

From the first scene that I had with Adam he made his expectations crystal clear, I understand my role within the relationship. We both want very similar things, including wanting a considerable amount of power exchange within the relationship. I know that Adam has a good handle on my limits as he helped me to define my own limits and has been amazing at adapting his immense prowess as a Dominant to fit in with my mental health needs.

Do you feel you both are well versed in what a claim will be outside of the trial period?

We have already begun living as if our claim is permanent. I would not expect for us to act differently in a ‘trial’ period as we would do in our future permanent claim. We have similar ideas about what we will do in the coming years and have already formed a pattern of living together that is flexible but theoretically not dissimilar from the mundane of our future lives.

Yes, like I mentioned before Adam has always made his expectations for me very clear and I in turn have been as vocal as I can about the things that I need from him. We’re both invested in getting married and having a family together at some point in the future, and both would upon the completion of my education perhaps like to move back to Philadelphia to be closer to our families. I know that as long as I’m a good girl, Adam will be pleased with me.

Do you believe you are comfortable enough with each other and the fundamental levels of BDSM as a whole?

Yes. As discussed above, it is my understanding that we are both in agreement of what we want our BDSM relationship to look like, what our role is, and the limits to what we want. As the Dominance teacher at Deveraux, the school hires me to teach my understanding of the Dominant role to others. Therefore, I have a confident understanding of myself as a Dominant.  Trixabelle as a submissive student, is currently undergoing her education of her designation and I support her to do that. She shows me every day that she is up to the task of being my submissive, which is no easy feat, and I am confident in her assurance that I am the type of person and Dominant that meets her needs also.

I am more than comfortable with Adam, there’s nothing that I don’t tell him or that I feel uncomfortable with within our relationship. There is a stress on communication within our dynamic and I know if I was ever unsure about anything that Adam would be more than willing to discuss things with me. I also believe I have a very good grasp on being the type of submissive that he is looking for and the challenges that being a submissive can come with.

Domestic Rules

Breakfast (including coffee), lunch and Dinner must be made daily and presented to me unless otherwise specified.

You will remember that I am your primary concern and that you should always remain attentive to me.

After your submissive duties, your priorities should fall to your school work unless it is something I have explicitly stated as something for you to do quickly.

I am allowed to access to your personal items.

You will not speak to anyone I state is off-limits and will never ignore anyone I state is an asset

You will ask permission to meet up with anyone in the day and be back home by dinner unless given permission otherwise

Use my title where appropriate

You will keep our bedroom clean and tidy, and you will clean other areas of the house when specifically asked to. You may clean your kitchen and study area as long as it takes no longer than half a day without notifying me. Otherwise it is the job of employees.

You will not go anywhere that I state is off limits.

You will use the bank card you have been given, and you will use it appropriately

You will listen carefully to what I say and carry out all orders or requests

You will make a grocery list and restock the fridge

There is no fruit allowed in the house and you will not use it to cook. Though you may have two bottles of berry squash in the house as long as they contain less than 20% fruit content. You may consume and use fruit outside of the house however must be aware of not bringing traces of it inside.

You will not lie or withhold information from me within reason

Do not argue with me and if you must, have good reason to

You will dress respectfully, if you do not I will make you change.

Represent me well on the whole and understand that you are an extension of my reputation

You will eat correctly, maintain a healthy sleep schedule, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

You will not confine yourself to our living area.

You will wear your collar at all times

If you are upset in any way you will come and speak to me about it and I will deal with it as I see fit.

You will have a decent bedtime and go to sleep every night regardless of if I am there

You are forbidden from planning to get a ‘boob job’ and may not have a boob jon or a boob job fund.

Any major changes to your body or appearance must be approved.

Only approved products and items may be in your hair.

You will keep no pets that I do not know about

Your pets will be maintained by yourself as your responsibility, and they must receive adequate food, rest, and exercise. Their exrement will be hygienically maintained at all times.

There will not be any animals in our bedroom within reason

You will touch no drugs/alcohol without my explicit permission

You will only publicly post appropriate content

Your online content may be edited or deleted by me as I see fit

You will accept any measures that I feel are necessary to protect you

You will always take medication in a timely manner

You will inform me of any guests that are invited over beforehand

You and the guys will keep your spats to a minimum

You are to keep a calendar of birthdays, and anniversaries and remind me of them.

You are to warn me if your Dads are attempting to make contact with me

Any excess mess made in communal areas will be cleaned and maintained by staff only- of which you are not

You must have a passable upkeep on any vehicles you are gifted

If you leaving the house you must notify me, be reachable at all times and carry some form of security and protection

You will monitor all of your conversations with anyone outside of the premises and be discrete with your information

Any attitude or inappropriate jokes from you to me will result in punishment

You will understand that any external forces will be dealt with by me if I deem it a large enough issue

You keep track of and notify me on the beginning and end of my protein powder

If you are hit on/flirted with/etc. You will inform them that you are in a committed relationship and mention the incident to me.

You will only wake me during the night if it is an emergency and will be cautious when doing so in the morning.

When making any big decisions you will inform me of them and allow me to finalize it.

Any new friends you meet up with will be aware of your position in my life and your authority in theirs, if appropriate.

You will never disturb me when I am on a call unless it is an emergency.

You will never disturb me when I am in a class unless it is an emergency, but if you must then you will do so discreetly

You will never disturb anything that could be perceived as business, unless it is an emergency .

You will dutifully attend to your studies and pass your classes but they must never overshadow any other rule.

All large purchases should be run by me

You may not climb on anything more than half your size

Your behaviour will never be risky and you must not ever knowledgeably engage in behaviours which may endanger yourself

I will approve any friends who you plan on spending an extended period of time with in the future

In the case of an emergency you are to act only in your best interests and follow the drills we have practiced

You will use your common knowledge to fill in gaps in your rules to what you know to be my specifications. If you are caught feigning ignorance you will be punished.

I have the right to amend these rules at any time with your knowledge

Breaking these rules will result in punishments which include taking away luxuries etc. Alternatively, following these rules will conclude in rewards

Sexual Rules

You will not touch yourself without permission

You will not come unless I tell you that you can

You will have sex with anyone else

During sex you may refer to me by either my title or my name

You will remember your safeword and use it where appropriate

You will wear the lingerie and use the sexually pleasing outfits and paraphernalia that I buy you

You will schedule in fellatio for me every day unless circumstances do not allow it.

If you wish for anything new to be tried you will request it and engage in a conversation about it

You will not begin the clean-up after until I give permission for it

These rules are subject to change and sex/sexual acts may be withheld or used as part of a punishment or reward system

REWARDS;

Rewards will be modified and will fit the good deed that has been done. Rewards include, but are not limited to, the following;

Your choice of movie or show for us to watch in the evening

Material gifts

Sexual gifts

Praise

Your choice of destination to go together

Cuddling/petting/affectionate touch

Family time with your Dads/animals

Money

PUNISHMENTS

Punishments will be modified and fit the punishable act that has been done. Punishments include, but are not limited to, the following;

The removal of personal items, material items, clothing, or privileges

Time out

Spanking

Eating foods of my choice

Lesser access to the kitchen

Lesser access to cleaning supplies

Lesser access to animals

[esterphania]

Gling!Gling!Gling!

This sound keeps on resonating through the colony ,I don't know what making them ring the bell at this time of the day ,such an early hour 😔, oh no ! I know why it's been rang it's because today is the day all young mermaid are to come out for the race before hunting activities begin we do this once every month .I just want to sleep 😴 and cover my ears with the pillows but that's impossible since they are going to still check round all the house for us or wait 🤨 is the colony under attack that's why the bell is been rang so that everyone can come out to fight 😕 this makes me shoot my eyes open to start looking for where to hide as I can't fight for my self I can at least look for how to stay alive .

Am not like every other mermaid 🧜🏽‍♀️ am weak ,slow ,I can't make wave or create storms ,etcetera 🤔who even does that here Lol 😂 but still I can't do anything for my self so I should definitely hide before they get here 😰

Mummy,what about mum ,what do I do I can't go out to look for her I'll die before I make it to any where by now my head has started feeling so heavy I couldn't just get the picture of mom been killed right in front of me ,my hands started shaking I could feel the tears threatening to drop from my eyes 😑😭 why does this always have to happen to me .I have been having this anxiety attack and ptsd as well since when I was a kid ,no,no,no,I can't start thinking of this things I have to go get mum I just have to ,I tried moving but couldn't get my feet or body too as I applied more force I felt my strength dissipate and my eye lids close gradually as I accept the darkness that's comes with it .

"Ada ,Ada,Ada, wake up , wake up baby ,you need to go for the race ,darling wake up you are scaring me "I heard my mum say as I gently open my eyes to find my mum looking at me with worry written all over her face ,I could have sworn she had called my name more than 20 times before I woke up ,

"oh mum ,my sweet mum"I say as I hug her in a rush thanking the water Goddess for keeping my mum alive for me

"Ada ,...Adaobi, what's wrong baby are you okay ?." Mum says as she pulls me out of my daze

"yes mum am fine ,I couldn't be more better "I said to my mum mentally cursing my self for worrying her that much then it me ' the race 'am going to be late and that's if I aren't already late I wonder how many hours I was out for shit I cursed again .

"Ada prepare for the race you have twenty minutes to get out of this house and show them how strong you are " mum said knowing fully well that I was so impotent to do that 😓but still she has faith in me

"Alright mum I'll be down in a sec ,you really know I have to stop going since I haven't made any improvement since then "I said with a worried look on my face "but I'll be down soon never mind ,so no if you don't mind can you leave my room so I can get dress up ,thanks " I said as I gave mum a kiss on her cheeks

As soon as mum shut the door behind her I feel to the bed out of exhaustion am so tired of this stuff

FLASHBACK

The coach was asking all of the racers to a queue for more co-ordinance and here I was just staying in a corner as always . Coach is a man in his late forties ,it seems like he was well structured by the water goddess as he has a handsome face for a man his age with prominent jaws ,small pinky lips and attractive dimples many unmarried mermaids often go after him seeing as his wife passed away leaving him and his two children James and Julia martins and ever since then he has refused to get married .

Coach has always been one of the three people who have been nice to me although he shows it more privately than publicly ,according to him people find fault with what ever I do I'm and he won't want them reading meaning into what doesn't have a meaning although I don't care 🤷‍♀️ or maybe I do care but what can I do 😩.

Well as for his race I don't even know what an doing here ,this race takes place every month on the day which there is a storm ,not the very very troubling storms ,just the light ones as we are still young stars ,I always lose the race because I'm slow and can't challenge my self to do anything .All of my pair are better than me ,I'm ten years old now and am still as incapable as a three year old child I just pray he doesn't remember to call me .Just as I am liking my wounds I begin to hear my name from a distance

"Adaobi,come join them for the race "I felt like swearing at myself as I walk to join the others ,I mean who knows that the mind is powerful as well I thought it was just the tongue that's powerful what a mess 😪.i have never won this race before neither have I gotten between the 1st to 15th people who has been wining since I was five ,so I cant definitely win this. I'm just been put here to be the laughingstock of the community again so here I go as coach blows the third whistle ,the race begins and every one has started swimming they are so very fast and I'm still so slow .

The race is to go around the temple of the mermaids and back to the starting points before the time is up every time I pass there it seems like there's more to it although I can't quite figure it out but this time around as I passing the temple something begins to call me ,to draw my attention to check it out ,to open it , to be honest no one has been able to open the doors to the temple talk less of cracking. It was so real right here at the side of the temple As a noise begin to rise its tempo in my hears I recognized it as clattering sounds of plates and dishes and then cries then it starts to make me slow down making me want to pass out there then am sure there was something being said between all of this but I could hear it as I was almost out because of fear ,then before I know it all I begin to hear is run ,run Adaobi run ,of possible fast ways I could think of swimming nothing came through .I just did the only thing I could that was to swim as fast as I possible could to get out of there .

I got to the finishing point where I began seeing people again before my heartbeat subsided and I realize that everyone was looking at me which face of a WOW and question of 'what was pursuing you 'then I turned to the board to find out that I came in as the fifth person in the competition I couldn't believe it ,isn't it I who had never gotten past twenty second in the race is now the fifth .

I was over joyed ,confused but still happy 😆 because then I began to think that I had hope that I wasn't useless at all just then I took a look at my clothes and I think everyone had started seeing it too and started laughing at me.Well at the end even though I passed that day I never passed again which still means that no one recognized me as a winner that month they all still laughed at me .

FLASHBACK OVER

So now since that one time i thought I won till now that I'm eighteen years old I still haven't won at all am still the slowest amongst the set of people am competing with as my pairs have all graduated to another level of train about two years ago but I still continue going on my mother's request and yes if your asking whether the noise continues then I'll be glad to say 'NO big 'NO' but oops who knows what today will bring .

[theramseyloft]

hey there, found your blog through a friend. ive been scanning your blog and patreon, and i felt like reaching out because, well... you're basically living my dream life, haha. i would love to do work like you do, rehabbing birds and training them, especially as companions/aids for disabled folks. pretty amazing! do you mind if i ask how you got started? is it an expensive venture? do you own farmland or live in a suburban area? im gonna send this before i take up too much of your time, haha. :)

I have raised ALL kinds of animals, but it was rats that lead me to pigeons.

I’ve had fish, herps, and inverts most of my life, so the way rats, mice, and Gerbils were able to bond with me felt really special.

Rats being the most intelligent and cooperatively social

When I had to stop raising small mammals, I wanted a pet that would similarly enjoy handling. Like, be happy/excited to see me when I got home, more than just wanting out.

Warm blooded, but non mammalian left birds.

Psitticines are wild animals that have needs WAY beyond our capability to meet, so they are all firmly on the no list.

I enjoyed Zebra finches, but my husband and I are sound sensitive, and he finds their song physically painful.

We can’t have chickens where we live...

Ringneck Doves ticked all the boxes for what I needed in a companion bird:

Docile/tractable Small/easy to house Easy to feed Physically incapable of biting or making painfully high pitched noises.

Turns out I was wrong about that last one! That’s pigeons. XD

We learned this with our first ringneck: An ANCIENT rescue and his wife named Nigel.

What a story those birds had!

My dear hubby was dubious about letting me raise another species, but after some shared research, was ok with me fostering some unwanted ones and finding them a new home.

I found them on Craig’s list, with cage and all.

When we went to pick them up, their owners explained that they had been unwanted, but traditional wedding gifts they felt they couldn’t refuse.

Ten years later, their owners had long ago gotten tired of caring for them, and just wanted them gone.

Their parents had purchased the pair when they retired from a magic show, and had had them as long as the couple could remember.

Having since sold white ringneck doves to magicians, I’ve learned that a trained dove retires between five and ten years of age, depending on temperament.

The parents were reported to have owned them for 15-20 years.

And the owners we picked them up from had had them for ten.

Making this pair of white Ringneck doves at LEAST 30 years old.

After this history, the wife brought them for us to take.

They were in a filthy black finch cage that had been left on their owner’s back porch long enough for a colony of fire ants to bring their own dirt and build a camp-nest in the bottom.

The birds were actively being swarmed and stung.

It took me a full thirty minutes to pull all of them off the two ancient doves...

It was touch and go for a bit, but they pulled through, and we found a home for the hen.

The cock, Nigel, had a twisted beak and the WORST coo!

High pitched and severely nasal, it could bore into your brain through ear plugs. >v<

He LOVED us, though, and liked to sing us the song of his people! At random. On Mike’s shoulder, directly into his ear.  All hours of the night. During the day, up where we couldn’t reach him. Even through trying to shoo him off his favorite perch...

He had SO much personality, and even though his song caused both of us severe physical pain and prevented us from sleeping, we could not help growing to dearly love him back.

Mere weeks after my Dear Hubby decided he wanted Nigel to spend the rest of his life with us, his time ran out.

He passed very suddenly, in our arms.

We mourned him. Lamented having so little time.

And we considered where to go from there.

We decided to find a breeder, so we could get little peeps and have the maximum amount of time with what felt like the perfect pet for us.

I had no idea they could be parent raised and still be tame, so I raised that first pair like I had my Zebra finches in College.

We took them home just feathered enough to keep warm and fed them formula.

Gordon and Sasami were those babies.

And they were such a delight, we wanted nothing more than to share with the world how wonderful hand raised dove could be.

So I got the Dear hubby’s permission to seek out more breeding pair.

Between what I could buy and what I could raise, we ended up with 8, and then eventually 16 pair.

There was not much knowledge about keeping them as house pets, or their behavior, beyond what it took to get them to reproduce.

It was common at the time, and still is, to treat Ringneck Doves like small pigeons: Keeping them in large decorative flocks in an out door pen.

It was only through raising the young of my 16 pairs and letting them grow out free flying in the middle room of my home that I learned that these long since domesticated birds could be tamed through socialization from a young age, like a puppy. 

But more importantly; just how vehemently anti-social they are!

One or two Ringneck Doves can be perfectly happy in an enclosure, but there should NEVER be more than two in any space where they can make physical contact!!!

They are VICIOUSLY territorial!

Every pair NEEDS to be an an individual enclosure, with ABSOLUTELY no way to make physical contact with any other bird, including and especially their own weanlings!

The second even their own peeps are fully self feeding, the parents start to mercilessly attack them, hell bent of driving out what they now see as an intruder invading their space and stealing their food and food from their future babies at any cost, up to and including killing them!

The actual Bird of Peace is the Rock Dove: the wild ancestor of the domestic Pigeon.

Two years after I started breeding doves, I started showing them. You can really only show doves in their own section of pigeon shows, and after seeing all the beautiful variation in pigeons, I was smitten. 

I brought home my first pigeon egg from my second show: a Portuguese tumbler hen laid it in her show cage, and I was shocked to find that breeders usually just threw those away.

Pugsly was hatched by a pair of doves, and he was amazing.

Friendly, outgoing to the point of being obnoxious, adorably, delightfully funny.

SO much more personable than the doves!

At another show, I picked up some Classic Old Frills.

Them some Old German Owls a year later.

Then some Old dutch Capuchine.

The more breeds I worked with, the more fascinated I became with the differences in the temperaments of different breeds, and the more I found I enjoyed working with the pigeons.

I knew we had used pigeons for lots of interesting studies.

Like this one about the development of heart disease!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/07/060729133950.htm

This one, using training tosses of urban homing pigeons wearing special back packs to monitor lead pollution

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160719144733.htm

But these using their natural pattern recognition as a diagnostic tool for human diseases:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/pigeons-can-spot-breast-cancer-medical-images-180957323/?utm_source=facebook.com&no-ist

https://www.audubon.org/news/how-common-street-bird-could-coach-doctors-against-bad-diagnosis

Led me to finding this article.

https://www.audubon.org/news/the-origins-our-misguided-hatred-pigeons

And it hit me like a ton of bricks: 

Pigeons are not native to North America.

European settlers and immigrants brought them.

They had already been domesticated for thousands of years by then.

There is no such thing as a Wild pigeon in North America.

They are the avian equivalent of the street dog problem in Mexico: 

Generations of domesticated animals entirely dependent on human hand outs or left overs for survival, with no shelters to take them in or sterilization programs to prevent more unwanted individuals from being born into a hostile environment that can’t support their numbers.

As long as I have bred any species of animal, I have been active in rescue, rehabilitation, fostering, and finding homes for unwanted individuals of that species.

For me, the two just go hand in hand.

I started volunteering for the local wildlife rehab as soon as I started breeding, initially using my domestic doves (that will raise absolutely anything) to foster orphaned Mourning and Eursadian Collared Doves: hoping to prevent them from bonding to me so that they could be soft released.

When it became known that I raised pigeons, I started getting calls for them too.

Ankhou was the first that needed really hands on care.

He arrived with a baby Mourning dove.

He and it were both recent orphans. 

The wild native dove baby is well muscled, and the appropriate size for its age.

Ankhou, at 4 weeks old, should have looked like Pippin:

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You can pretty accurately compare the difference between rehabbing a Mourning Dove and a Pigeon with the difference between rehabbing a grey fox kit and a stray puppy.

Like a grey fox, the Mourning dove is a native wild animal. It is absolutely vital to keep direct human interaction to the absolute minimum because developing a dependence on and friendliness towards humans will get them killed.

Either immediately and out right by hunters, or more slowly through malnutrition.

Puppies are not expected to survive in the wild, and absolutely NO rescuer would raise a puppy they found behind a garbage can or in a dumpster to weaning and nurse it to health only to dump it right back in the ally.

So I absolutely REFUSE to abandon a rescued pigeon by dumping it right back on the street it barely escaped from with its life and it honestly sickens me how many pigeon rescues advocate doing exactly that to any pigeon that doesn’t look purebred or fancy enough.

Feral Pigeons not being wild animals, and being an INTENSELY social and touch oriented species, it would not only not have been beneficial, but out right cruel not to interact with tiny, emaciated Ankhou.

Ankhou was going to take a VERY long time to catch up on enough of his development to safely find a home, so we ended up adopting instead of fostering him.

I spent a lot of time holding and talking to him, and he bonded so closely to me that the became sensitive to my anxiety attacks and started alerting for them.

He also started responding appropriately to requests, as if he actually understood them.

He had pretty severe separation anxiety, and if I stepped into the quarantine room to deal with a bird that might be ill, he would panic the moment his line of sight was interrupted.

If, however, I took the time to tell him “Ankhou, I need to go into quarantine. I will be back. Wait here.”, he would sit down in front of the door and wait quietly until I came back out with sterile hands.

This got me curious, and I started researching pigeon social and cognitive development.

As it turns out, they have a shockingly human society.

A pigeon flock is a large, extended family of birds. 

Young birds don’t split off when they wean. They join the flock, forming a close knit friend group among the other weanlings from whom they will select mates as adults and with whom they will learn to find food, water, and nest materials and what to do with those.

Very like human children moving out of their parents’ house and forming bonds among their peers.

Pigeon society is an efficient democratic meritocracy.

Communication on the wing is INCREDIBLY efficient

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm

They vote on nearly EVERYHTING

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm

And if a leader proves to be ineffective, or a navigator inaccurate, the flock can and will vote to demote them.

https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted

Pigeons are absolutely CRAZY-Smart!

Pigeons are capable of high level cognition. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2009/…/090212141143.htm

To the extent that they understand the concepts of space and time! https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2017/…/171204144805.htm

They are self-aware enough to distinguish themselves from other pigeons, able to recognize themselves in photos, video, and mirrors AND differentiate between the three. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2008/…/080613145535.htm

Their brains are wired SHOCKINGLY similarly to ours: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2013/…/130717095336.htm

They categorize things and learn the equivalent of words the same way human toddlers do!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2014/…/140402095107.htm https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2015/…/150204184447.htm

They can even learn to read written language well enough to differentiate between a real word and an acronym with the same number of letters.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2016/…/160919111535.htm

They are pattern mapping social learners.  Exactly like we are!

Building on this list of scientific studies, I started to experiment with teaching  each successive generation of the resident pigeons to understand the basics of verbal communication by the same mechanic as one would a toddler.

And in just the last two years with Ankhou, I have learned that they can literally learn to understand both spoken AND written human language, and literally all it takes is talking to a pigeon as if it is a nonverbal human toddler who does not know that word yet to be able to teach them to understand object words, action words, emotion words, names, and locations.

Pigeons are pets you can literally communicate to in your native language.

It is absolutely amazing!

Ankhou was not trained to alert for my anxiety attacks.

He literally did that AND started alerting me for blood sugar spikes entirely on his own.

Not even a pigeon hatched in a human house hold. A feral.

No special genetics. No training what so ever. 

Just a pigeon being a pigeon: bonding with what he considered a flock mate, and getting worried when he noticed something was wrong.

Which made me wonder: What would happen if specific traits conducive to bonding with humans and being sensitive to their emotional state were selected for in a population?

What if those birds were given at least basic communication training? On top of the matching we already do by temperament.

I’m actually working on documenting our finances and plan to discuss them in more detail at the end of the month.

Just taking in rescues to foster is an expensive process.

You need to have quarantine space that keeps new birds as completely separated from your residents as possible.

You need a vet who is either experienced with or willing to learn to treat pigeons. Each new bird will need, at absolute least, a fecal test for parasites.

You need to have dip on hand for external parasites, and the funds to buy what ever wormer, anti fungal, antibiotic, or anintimicrobial is required to treat what ever the fecal exam turns up.

Which could legitimately be all of the above, as I have had one individual come in with two species of lice, two species of intestinal worms, coccidiosis, AND salmonella, all at the same time. I have had several others come in with Trich or thrush in place of or in addition to the coccidia or salmonella.

Most will come in malnourished or injured on top of being sick and/or parasitized.

You REALLY have to plan for the worst with rescues.

Because taking in animals you cannot house or feed or for whom you are unable to provide the necessary medical care is NOT rescuing them.

It is subjecting them to the exact neglect that rescuers intend to save them from.

It is REALLY easy for big hearted people to find themselves overwhelmed and exhausted trying to save every one, and that is something every one who wants to rescue needs to keep in mind for the sake of their health as much as the quality of their care.

I live in a trailer park in Ga, on a little plot of land just big enough to say I have a front and back yard.

The modest inheritance my parents left me and my sister when they passed funded the loft being built, and my husband’s job pays for what ever daily maintenance and veterinary care that bird and harness sales and my Patreon can’t cover.

It was designed around comfort and disease prevention for them and pain management for me. It really makes my day to know that people have enough interest in my work to ask detailed questions!

It’s a bit of a bear for an autistic woman with ADHD to get to a bunch of them all at once, but I still REALLY want to hear them and am THRILLED to get to answer!

It’s easier for me to answer in detail if I can focus on one question at a time, though.

There is absolutely no limit to the number I am willing to answer, so don’t be afraid to flood my inbox with a ton of individual questions. ^v^

[messedupessy]

Number 15 with the Fell brothers~! :3

Ahhhh here ya go man I literally wrote this in one day, which is today just frikking wrote it in pretty much one go and I am seriously proud of myself gnkjegnkjgkrje so yeah enjoy xD ❤

Edit 2021/01/05: Decided to update this, fixed some grammar and added some minor things, enjoy!

Stealing Flowers

Relationship: None, just bros

Warnings: Mention of animal death, but nothing graphic or detailed

Prompt: “Are you seriously stealing flowers off that grave?” 

Summary: Red joins Edge on a trip to the cemetery.

 AO3

Story below cut

“Red, Really?”, Red heard Edge say slightly behindhim, clearly exasperated. “Are You Seriously Stealing Flowers Off That Grave?”

“yep, sure am baby bro.”, he replied with his usualwide grin, as it was true. He was currently picking, or stealing as Edge calledit, some flowers off of a grave he was squatting down in front of.

Though it wasn’t really stealing since the flowerswere technically grown there and clearly not planted, was actually rather whatmost people would call weeds. So in turn Red was actually doing the cemeterystaff a favour by removing some of the said weeds off the grave.

“And Do Tell Me Why Exactly You Are Doing Such AThing, Brother?”, Edge asked again, his voice stiff with barely held backirritation.

“jist doin’ my daily good deed of tha day, bro.”, Redjoked with a dark chuckle, the disgusted noise he got in return worth it. Hethen stood up with the flowers in hand, turning around so he was now face toface with his much younger, and also sort of angry, brother.

Edge was dressed in a fancy black suit; with some kneehigh boots that had some minor heel to them which Red was thankful for theother wearing. As Edge really needed to stop stomping around with those overlyhigh heels of his, they were so not good for that bad hip of his. And alongsidethat cute scowl his face was currently expressing, so was he holding a largebouquet of red roses with a large matching ribbon.  

Red himself was not dressed up for the occasion atall, he was in fact just wearing his usual outfit as he hadn’t bothered at allor even tried to dress up, unlike his brother.

“nah, thought i shoulda get somethin’ fer tha grave,pay me respects an’ all that shit, ya know.”, Red then added with a shrugbefore Edge had a chance to say anything else, fiddling with the flowers heheld in his hands slightly, his mind noting they were probably some sort ofdandelions or something.

That gave Edge pause, stopped him right as he wasabout to say something, probably a lecture, but instead he ended up juststanding there with stunned surprise on his features. But it wasn’t long untilhis whole body visibly relaxed, letting out a deep sigh in defeat, while alsogiving Red a suspicious glare.

“Let’s… Let’s Keep Moving.”, Edge uttered before hequickly began to walk, quickly making his way past Red and down the path of thecemetery with long steps.

And like the lazy ass he was, Red instead of followinghis brother simply took a shortcut.

Then quickly reappearing with barely a sound at theirdestination, which was another grave.

He eyed the grave lazily while he waited for hisbrother, which wouldn’t take long thanks to those long legs of his. The blackgranite of the headstone shined brightly in the strong summer sun, slightlyblinding him but not enough to stop him from reading what was written on it.

It said, with big fancy golden letters:

                                                  Doomfanger

                                              Unknown July. 17          

                                                 2261 - 2284  

                                 Beloved pet,companion and friend

Around the textthere were paw prints carved into the stone also with gold in them, alongsideother golden squiggly patterns here and there which he guessed were leaves orsome shit, his brother not sparing any expense when it came to the grave of hisnow dead pet cat.

The old furballhad finally bit the dust last year at about 23 years of age, which apparentlywas pretty old for a cat. Though she might have been older as it wasn’t fullysure how old she had been when Edge found her back in the underground.

Thinking of theunderground, it was still weird how that was just about 11 years ago, that thebarrier broke and all monsterkind was freed from their imprisonment.

His thoughtswere interrupted by the arrival of his brother, who with quick steps made hisway next to him where he stopped.

He looked athis brother, who was looking very stoic and tense as he watched the grave,holding the roses in his hand tightly, before be abruptly turned to him,reaching out the hand with the roses towards him.

“Hold These, INeed To Clean The Grave.”, Edge muttered tersely.

“sure thin’,bro.”, Red replied taking a hold of the roses, the thought of saying no justbecause running through his mind, but he decided not to for once. His brotherwas already, no pun intended, on edge.

His brotherthen stepped forward and got to work, pulling out various tools from his phoneinventory before kneeling down, grimacing slightly as he did thanks to his oldinjuries. But his expression quickly turned determined as he got to work,removing any weeds that had popped up since last time he had been there,removing old flowers and so on, while Red just stood there watching him work.

The urge topush Edge to the side and do the work himself, even though this sort of shitwork wasn’t his thing, was overwhelming. But he knew his baby brother wouldn’ttake it well, since this was his duty and all that shit, so he let it be, sinceafter all the death of his pet cat had hit his brother hard, harder than youwould expect.

Like to Red itwas just a cat, an animal, they die quickly when it comes to monsters like themwho lives for a very long time. So he didn’t really fully get why Edge wasstill so upset about it and still grieving even a year after.

A low huffescaped him, guess he truly was an insensitive arse.

Still, hehappily tagged along whenever his brother went to visit Doomfanger’s grave,spending any time with his baby brother was time well spent.

It didn’t takelong for Edge to clean the grave, since he came and visited it at least acouple of times a month, so any weeds, rotten flowers or other cleaning of thegrave was quick work. Edge got back up onto his feet with a barely hiddengrimace of pain, for anyone who didn’t know what to look out for wouldn’t seeit as Edge was really good at hiding when he was in pain.

But Red wasn’tjust anyone, and knew exactly what to look out for to notice just how muchEdge’s old injuries affected him.

Which remindedhim, he still needed to beat that fish bitch into a fucking pulp for causingsaid injuries. He didn’t care that it happened almost 20 years ago, or that itwas all done fair and square or that the bitch was still his baby brothers socalled best friend, any kind of injuries caused to his brother would get paidwith blood.  

Edge thenwordlessly reached his hand out towards him, snapping Red out of his suddenthoughts of tearing that fish a new hole. Just as wordlessly he gave him backthe bouquet of roses and Edge then quickly squatted down and placed them ontothe now clean grave.

Without Rednoticing so had Edge also put down a couple of candles which he had lit, how hehad missed that was making his sockets twitch in irritation at himself, he wassupposed to be aware at all times after all, couldn’t risk missing anything nomatter how small said thing was. Edge then stood back up and took a step back,looking at the grave his whole body tense and his expression grim.

Ah, now timefor the part which always ended up making him uncomfy as fuck.

Red seriouslydid not do feely stuff, he did not know how to handle it at all, he glanced atEdge who was standing next to him again with his arms behind his back, lookingas stiff as the stick he at times had up his pelvis.  

As ever sincethe incident, from about 10 years ago, even just thinking about it makes Redgrit his teeth in anger as he didn’t even want to think about it properly, hewas still so pissed about it.

But since thatincident Edge had pretty much become incapable of crying at all.

He was unableto cry at his shitty romantic drama’s he so loved anymore, he was unable to crywhen Doomfanger got sick due for age. Unable to cry when she eventually diedand wasn’t able to cry even at her funeral.

Thoughtechnically it was his baby brothers own fault, he had insisted on finding outthe truth, had forced Red’s hand in the name of saving Red from going insane.

He much morewould had preferred going insane than having Edge suffer as he do now, how hisbaby brother now had the highest level out of all monsterkind and now wasforced to live with it. As he did have a reason, several of them actually, whyhe had kept the truth secret from Edge for so many years to start with and thiswas one of them.

But now herethey were, Edge unable to properly grieve and cry over his dead cat, and himselfunable to comfort him because what the fuck were feelings even, all because ofthat whole fucking incident.

Especiallysince Edge wasn’t the only one affected by the incident, Red himself was nowcapable of feeling shit for other people and not just his brother. Which wasweird, as he now was able to feel shit more proper overall and he absolutelyhated it.

As things thatusually didn’t bother or affect him suddenly did, made him stop and think whathis actions and words could do to people at times and fuck did he hate it. Shitwas better when he didn’t care jack shit about anything or anyone except forhis baby brother, but apparently said brother would rather he cared about othersas well and make him a emotional asshole instead.

Which was whyhe didn’t do his usual asshole thing, like cracking a very bad and insensitivejoke, do something seriously rude like tossing the flowers he still held in hishand onto the grave which he originally had just picked up as a joke. He wasincapable of been his usual nonchalant dickish self and it was frustrating asfuck.

So instead, hedecided to do something so out of character of himself that if there was somesort of overwordly being up there, so would it have struck him down on the spotfor heresy.

“gimme yehand.”, he said to Edge, lifting his hand that he didn’t hold the flowers in uptowards his brother.

“Why?”, Edgereplied stiffly, eyeing the offered hand in suspicion which Red couldn’t reallyblame him for, he was known to pull pranks at the worst of times after all.

“jist do et,i’m trynna do a good thin’ here.”, Red grumbled back, feeling uncomfortable asfuck as he shook his hand for Edge to just take it already.

“… Fine, But IfYou Are About To Play A Trick On Me So Am I Never Letting You Come Along HereWith Me Again.”, Edge huffed after a moment of glaring, rolling his eye light’sas he put his hand in Red’s own.

“don’t worry, iwon’t.”, Red reassured him, giving his brother’s hand a squeeze. Fuck this shitwas weird but he had gotten this far, might as well go through with it.

He then steppedforward towards the grave, the two of them already standing close enough to itso he didn’t have to let go of the others hand. He could feel Edge’s confusedeyes dig into his back as he then squatted down, putting the flowers down ontothe grave as nicely as he could.

“sup, furball.”,Red then spoke, wincing slightly at how corny and touchy feely the whole thinghe was doing was, keeping his one eyelight locked onto the grave. “thanks… ferya always been there for me bro when he needed ya… an’ for been jist a reallygood cat.”

He thenpromptly got up and stepped back so he was standing next to his brother again, ifhe had skin he would swear it was crawling with just how fucking uncomfy hisactions just made him.

Red didn’t evenlook at his brother, to see how he reacted, instead he focused his eye onto arandom piece of grass. A minute or so passed before he felt Edge squeeze hishand back, making Red turn his face back up to his brother who was looking downat him.

“That… ThatWas…”, Edge began, clearing his throat loudly before a very soft smile slowlyspread onto his face. “That Was Really Sweet Of You… Thank You.”

If it wasn’tfor the fact Red had promised to chill the fuck out with his habit of taking picturesof Edge, so would he had pulled his phone out faster than his shortcuts as theexpression Edge was wearing was something he so dearly needed a photo of, so hecould look at it whenever he wanted and needed to.

But at the sametime, he felt if he went and did it, he would ruin whatever this moment wasbetween them, so he resisted and instead gave his baby brother a wide grin.

“heh, anytimebaby bro.”, Red murmured instead, before turning his face away to look atDoomfanger’s grave, Edge doing the same.

They stoodthere in silence for awhile, just enjoying the moment, until suddenly Edgesqueezed his hand again before slowly removing his own from Red’s grasp. MakingRed look up at him, resisting the urge to grab it back, but Edge was notlooking at him, his eyes still locked with the grave before them.

“Al-All Right,I Am Done Here For Today, Thanks For Coming With Me.”, Edge said with a slighttremble to his voice, before he quickly turned heel and began to walk away onthe cemetery path. “Come Along Brother, I Need To Get Back To Work Before TwoPM And I Refuse To Be Late.”

“sure thin’.”, Redreplied, but he didn’t move from where Edge left him. As before Edge turnedaway and began to walk, Red could had sworn he saw something shine in hisbrother’s eye socket.

Quickly shakinghis head so to snap out of it, he decided it was most likely just hisimagination and wishful thinking. But he grinned widely and with a step forwardtook a shortcut to catch up to his much faster brother.

[endearinglysarcastic]

Taylor Swift’s Current Form of Hell

Some thoughts considering Taylor’s current situation. Feedback is welcome (especially if it can be added to the analysis!), but please don’t @ me to argue that she’s a bully or a bitch. I will eat you. 

Firstly, let’s talk about age. Taylor is 29. Scott and Kim are 38, Kanye is 42. Famous was released in 2016, when Taylor was 26 and Kanye 39. So, not only was it released without her permission, not only was she filmed without her permission, not only did it defame her, not only was it implying sexual promiscuity in return for fame, not only was it entirely beyond the bounds of anything she would’ve agreed to regardless of Kim’s ‘proof’, she was 26. Let that sink in. There is more than a decade between her and Kanye - think about someone a decade older that you (a cousin, uncle or friend) and imagine how you would react (me, I’d go all Tangled on them, and hit them in the face with a saucepan; and that’s my calm reaction). Then remember how you were at 19 - considering that, in 2009, when Kanye said ‘imma let you finish BUT’ she was 19.  Fast forward a little to 2016, and Kanye has 2 children, a wife and an established music career. He should be the elder, the one that understands the industry, the one that works with RESPECT. Taylor is only just older than his second youngest sister-in-law - and you best believe that if something like this happened to Kendall, Kanye would be coming after them. But this ‘feud’ was deemed appropriate, Famous was deemed ‘funny’. Scooter and Justin Bieber and various radio hosts etc have decided that all this is ‘not a big deal’. But there we were, Taylor was 26 and being TAGGED by people a decade older than her in this revenge porn horridness. Is it because we now think it’s okay to be horrible to white girls? Is that it? Is it because she’s American? She certainly isn’t a Trump fan, so we can rule that out. Maybe it’s because Kanye was threatened - maybe it’s because he was made to apologise by Queen B and he’s been looking to reassert his masculinity ever since. Maybe it’s his own past, insecurities, problems. But that in no means makes it okay; nor does it condone the behaviour of his wife and associates like Scooter. Hence, we have defamation, revenge porn and cyber bullying, all of which started when Taylor Swift, pop princess supreme, was 19, 26 and now 29.

One of the people who brought this 2016 pain about, now owns the rights to her music. Sounds a bit iffy (it still has her name on it! you cry), but let’s think about this legally. This means that if Taylor wants to work with, rerelease, remix or reconsider any of HER prior works, she has to a) work with Scooter, b) have the changes approved by Scooter and c) give a portion of the profits to Scooter. And yes, kiddies, that means concerts too. Performing her music, at her concerts, for her fans, is giving her abuser a profit. Imagine having to do that with a high school bully, or say, prior boss that you never really liked, with a report or a paper. Objectively these things are worth nothing, but you did the majority of the work; despite this, it’s technically part of their group or company, so it’s theirs too. It’s like sharing custody of your child with an abusive and absent ex. Except, that child is worth a literal fortune and took 14 years to create; and you’re well aware that your ex will completely abuse their side of the contract for their own amusement.  Furthermore, while she’s sharing those rights, we have to remember that Taylor has no legal recourse - he owns the masters by CONTRACT, that she no doubt signed at one point or another. Now while I have things to say about the lawyers that advised her to sign that contract, please remember that she was just 14 when she entered the industry and that a human female brain does not fully develop until at least 23 (men are develop by 27 but this is about Taylor so I’ll refrain from making that joke today). Business savvy she might be now, but that comes with experience and practice and a good team. People who are good at their job, understand your vision and you trust entirely are hard to find; especially when your vocation is as all encompassing as Taylor’s must be. Perhaps there was a mistake there, perhaps she shouldn’t have signed the contract; but hindsight is 20/20, and perhaps blaming Taylor isn’t the most progressive thing to do.  What is both interesting and considerably more gross, is that Taylor was offered a chance to, quote, ‘earn back’ her masters - not only is this bribery, it’s an attempt to further abuse and power over one of the biggest earners in today’s music industry. With such a power over her, there is no way that Big Machine will ever willingly let her go - perhaps they’d enter into a never-ending negotiation; for every album she produces (which would belong to Big Machine), she earns back a prior album that belonged to Big Machine. Sounds fabulous and abusive, doesn’t it? If you are so naive as to think that she was not a guiding factor on the purchase of Big Machine, please reconsider your brain. No one wants to buy the cow if you can get the milk for free - which essentially is what Scooter did, plus now he gets to kick the cow and the calf if and when he wants to. Lovely, right? However, please consider that in signing any new contact under this offer, one can see definite similarities with Kesha’s situation, though the abuse hopefully be only mental and emotional. Taylor has made an incredibly hard and painful choice; she could leave her legacy behind in favour of happier life, or continue with her legacy and ‘earn it back’ and be generally miserable. This desire to make Taylor ‘submit’ is misogynistic, horrible and really really gross. Hence we can conclude that not only has she been abused, bullied and used, we may now note that she has no way of ‘winning’ this argument - in that she may never get her masters back without paying a very serious life consequence.

Taylor has posted a 2 paragraph statement on Tumblr. (Fun reminder - I’m not even halfway done and I’ve written a longer defence that she did.) She is being called attention seeking (‘turning the the public has worked for her before’ - what my local FM radio told me), bullying, gaslighting etc etc. which are all things we’ve heard about before in relation to her. Certainly, Taylor, like other people in the media spotlight, has done things that people don’t approve of or deem problematic (because she, like all others, is just a person) but this by no means should overshadow her present situation. You don’t need to be a Taylor fan to consider this issue problematic; the facts alone are indicative enough. There is no element of like, love, favouritism or adoration that even needs to be considered here. Taylor is being judged, abused and publicly bullied as she dared to speak her mind and feelings about her own works. If Scooter had his way, we would  revert to simply calling her hysterical, and strip her of all capacity to reason - god forbid a woman in the music industry be of sane mind and conviction. Despite this, we have to note that these events, this treatment, these discussions have led to one of the most prominent and successful women of the 21st century retreating from public, and posting her defence, in her own words, on TUMBLR, which is widely considered a niche site when compared to say Twitter or Instagram. Hence, we must ask ourselves, why would Taylor choose Tumblr? She has been so widely supported on Instagram and Twitter in the past. Maybe this is where she feels supported and like she is least chance to be attacked; what does that tell you about her headspace? Maybe it’s where she sees the least tagging, comments of ownership, masters related from people who are meant to be her colleagues - cyber bullying is, effectively, so harmful because it can truly follow you anywhere. Imagine the outrage if this had been done to Justin Bieber, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes. But it wouldn’t happen to them - not because producers and owners are incapable, but because they do not deem in necessary for them to need to show who the ‘alpha’ is. But having Taylor as the more powerful, pervasive person seems to offend many men to the core. Hence, maybe Taylor posted it is simply for herself, knowing it would be unedited and seen by people who might sympathise without yarns of criticism that related to the anatomy between her legs. Certainly, I know I would want to have my say for my own peace of mind as well as for my mental health - and I’m just a law student with 7 followers. How does someone so wildly popular feel so unsafe in the social media sphere? This. This bs is why. 

So why are we just hearing about all this now? Well that’s just it; Taylor. She has brought this to the public attention. She is not so naive as to think that there would be no backlash - she’s been the victim of that too many times. Taylor, despite knowing all of this, despite standing alone, despite the lack of media, social media, peer and male support, has said something. She has expressed her thoughts and feelings, knowing she would be labelled unstable and narcissistic - because that is the fastest way to depreciate and devalue anything legitimate or threatening that comes from a woman or girl. Taylor has, in a sense, reported her abuse; except she reported it to the public. She has been bullied, cyber bullied, defamed, indicted, disliked and gaslighted. In her position, many would be anxious, depressed, scared, paranoid, running crying to their parents (cough me cough). Instead, she has made a rational, intelligent and self-caring decision that led to a well written statement, conveying her feelings in a timely and eloquent manner. She is effectively telling us that Times Up, and it’s coming for the music industry. As always, she has handled this in the most dignified and elegant of ways, while Scooter and his supporters seem to be borderline aroused at the pain they’re inflicting. How anyone can get their kicks out of another persons pain will always be beyond me, though that seems to be the way women are accustomed to men acting. Taylor is, as she has often been, at the forefront of changing social issues and bearing the brunt of the backlash in the public eye. I hope that there are other young women and young artists that are watching and listening - she might very well break the glass ceiling - again. 

Taylor has gone through an immense amount of pain throughout her music career - she’s been labelled an attention, money and boyfriend seeking crybaby for over a decade. The behaviour of men in the music industry is neither appropriate or acceptable. I do not accept it - we, the public, cannot accept it. 

Although I know it is of little help, I will no longer be listening to or streaming Taylor’s old work in an effort to support her. I will also not be streaming or purchasing any other Big Machine productions until her work is returned to her. I will also be signing this petition in her favour. Please consider doing the same - Katy Perry already did. 

I hope Taylor is okay, I hope she is caring for herself, I hope there is some legal action she can take. I hope Lover is wildly successful and her heart is full. Remember that this is not about receipts or feuds or drama. This is about the cruel and unfair treatment of a woman in the music industry and the escalation of that when it became public information. This is about changing the conversation and changing the working conditions. This is for more than just Taylor; this is part changing a toxic culture, where cyberbulling and revenge porn and spiteful purchases for ‘funzies’ (and the torment of others) is appropriate, provided it is against a woman. Whatever you might say or think of her, this is an example of injustices that occur to women everywhere and everyday. We have proven only one thing with these injustices, and that is that you can kick Taylor Swift down are hard as you can - she has discovered feminism and she’s going to get back up. She might not be perfect, she might not be your favourite, but she isn’t a push over. Taylor Swift is taking up space and taking no shit, and I am here for it. 

Petition: https://www.change.org/p/taylor-swift-make-taylor-swift-re-release-her-6-albums 

You can find Taylor’s statement here: https://taylorswift.tumblr.com/post/185958366550/for-years-i-asked-pleaded-for-a-chance-to-own-my

You can also check her Tumblr out here, though this is less related to this analysis and more if you want a good giggle: @taylorswift

[eternalnight8806-3]

Ch 1. The Cat and the Fox

Here’s another chapter fic for you guys!

@keichanz @noviceotakus-blog

Also available on AO3 and ff.net

Category: Romance, Modern College AU

Rating: Will be Explicit but for now I’ll just say Mature for language and drinking

Words: 4,541

Backstory on my universe: Humans know of the existence of demons, but they don't usually intermingle. Demons keep to themselves in their own areas of the world and humans do the same. Hanyou children are practically unheard of, though 1 or 2 will be born every hundred years or so. They are treated as less than by the demon community and with fear from the humans. Neither world truly accepts them. InuYasha lives amongst humans because his mother, Izayoi, was human. He often wears a hat or something of the like to hide his ears from humans. They always treat him with disdain when they learn what he is. The only person other than his mother to treat him well is Miroku, his childhood friend. His father died shortly after his birth, but no one knows exactly what happened to the InuTaisho. Izayoi died when InuYasha was 17. He is now 20 and attending human university studying culinary arts. He loves food and he figured if no one knew a hanyou was making their food then they couldn't complain. He lives in a frat house under scholarship.

Please let me know what you guys think!

“Miroku, this is by far the stupidest thing you've ever convinced me to do.” InuYasha stated as he looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a well fitted long tailed black tuxedo complete with red cummerbund and bowtie. A red lace fox type mask covered his face but accentuated his deep amber eyes. His waist long white-silver hair hung loosely.

Miroku walked by and gently flicked one of InuYasha's white dog ears atop his head. “Quit complaining. You have to stop hiding up here every time the house hosts a fucking party, dude. If you're going to be a brother, you have to do brother stuff. That includes this masquerade Halloween party.”

A loud thunk could be heard reverberating throughout the room as InuYasha smacked Miroku across the back of his head. “You know I can't fucking stand it when you touch my ears, asshole.”

Miroku rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, yeah. Just quit whining. It's going to be more fun than you think. Just wait and see!” Miroku winked at his friend as he grabbed his own Phantom of the Opera style mask off of his dresser and slipped it on his face. “How do I look?” He asked as he did an overly dramatic twirl.

“Fucking stupid.” InuYasha grumbled. He looked down at his own feet, covered with brand new dress shoes he had somehow been conned into buying. “These fucking shoes pinch my feet. I ain't wearing 'em.” With that, he flicked each one off of his foot and threw them towards Miroku's half of their shared room.

Miroku just shook his head at his friend. “Suit yourself. But you're not getting out of going. You better be down in five minutes or upperclassman Kuno will have both our asses.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he said as Miroku walked out of the room to join the party that was already in full swing downstairs.

Taking one last look at himself in the mirror, InuYasha sighed. He wiggled his toes on the hardwood floor, enjoying the freedom of not having the restrictive shoes. Never in his life had he worn anything other than flip flops when he wore shoes at all. Absolutely refusing to put the dress shoes back on, InuYasha said a quiet “Fuck it,” to himself as he stormed out of the room barefoot to join his frat brothers and their stupid party.

“Sango, I don't know how you talked me into this outfit.”

Sango side eyed her best friend in the passenger seat of her car. “Kagome, you look smoking. Every guy will love it.”

“Well yeah! Only because it's so tight I can't breathe!” She fiddled with the drawstring on the corset of her skin tight faux leather catwoman costume.

“Kagome, we're in college now. We're supposed to wear sexy Halloween costumes to dumb parties!”

Kagome pouted in her seat. She knew her friend was just trying to help her have fun and try new things, but this outfit made her extremely uncomfortable. It was so low cut she might as well not have a top on in her opinion. The drawstring in the front didn't really function to hold it closed, but more to draw more attention to her breasts. The pants did make her ass look good, she could admit that much, but she was afraid if she sat down she'd bust a seam. The only things about the costume she didn't mind were the simple black face mask and cute cat ears.  “Fine. But if my ass comes out of these pants you're going to regret making me buy this.”

Sango laughed. “Fair enough,” she said as she pulled into the parking lot nearest the most infamous party frat on Shikon University's property, B.E.W. She pulled out the final piece of her own costume, a thin light pink cloth eye mask and put it on. Looking over at Kagome she inquired, “How do I look?”

Kagome sized her up. The girl wore a tight fitting black sexy ninja costume. Her own top was cut lower than Kagome's, showing off her ample assets. A pink sash adorned her slim waist, holding her fake sword in place. She had to admit she looked damn good. “Amazing,” she answered honestly.

Smiling, Sango opened her door and yelled, “Let's do this shit!” as she climbed out. Kagome shook her head at her friend and opened her own door to follow.

An hour later, Kagome was completely trashed. Sango had thrust cup after cup of beer in her hand, determined to get her friend as drunk as possible. But now Kagome hadn't seen Sango in atleast 20 minutes, ever since one of the frat boys in a Phantom of the Opera mask had asked her to dance with him. Stumbling in her stiletto heals, Kagome found herself firmly planted into someone's very hard back.

“What the fu-” InuYasha turned just in time to see an obviously drunk girl start to fall backwards. He reached out reflexively and wrapped the girl up in his arms. A moment passed where he simply held her to his chest before he looked down at her. His breath hitched in his throat when chocolate eyes met his own. Even through her face mask and his drunken stupor, he knew this girl was beautiful. “You ok?” he asked her.

Smiling up at the man who had kept her from unceremoniously falling on her stupidly drunk ass, Kagome nodded. She was enamored with the effort this guy had put into his costume. The long white wig, the absolutely adorable white ears on his head, and the enchanting amber contacts that she couldn't stop staring at.  

InuYasha slowly let the girl go, making sure she was steady on her feet. A worried frown crossed his features. This girl was beyond incapable of getting home safely and he didn't see anyone around who seemed to be with her. Had she been stupid enough to come to a party alone?  “Hey, you alone?” He asked her, gruffly.

Kagome had been busy staring at his bare feet. She wondered where his shoes had gone. Slowly, she looked back up into those gorgeous eyes. Some of the fogginess cleared from her brain and she realized he'd asked her a question. “Hmm?”

InuYasha was a bit foggy himself, having drank half a keg in order to stand being around this many people at once. It took him a moment to register that she hadn't heard him. “Did you come with someone?” His ears twitched slightly, trying to hear only her above all the party noise.

She nodded, lazily, but didn't speak. Her eyes were glued to the top of his head, watching his ears. She could have sworn they had just moved. Shaking her head slightly, she told herself she was just way too drunk at the moment.

Growing irritated with the girl, InuYasha waved his hand in front of her face. “Hey, do you need help finding them or somethin'?”

Kagome giggled and swayed on her feet. “She's a ninja!” she managed to say between bursts of laughter. “You'll never find her!”

Shaking his head, InuYasha put his drink down and took the girls' hand in his own. He knew he would feel guilty as hell if he just left her alone. His mother had taught him better than that. “C'mon. Lets get you some water and try to find your ninja.”

A shock went through her hand when this man grabbed hers. Secretly, she wondered if he felt it too. She allowed him to lead her upstairs and into a bedroom, presumably his own. Dropping her hand, he went to a small mini fridge in the corner and took out a bottle of water and handed it to her. Taking it from him, she looked around the room nervously.

Seeing her discomfort, InuYasha worked to quell her fears, “I promise I ain't gonna hurt ya or nothin'. The kitchen's just nothing but beer and dumbshits right now.”

Kagome nodded once and opened the water to take a sip. She watched the man slump down on the bed in the far corner of the room and tuck his feet under himself. Unconsciously, she walked over and sat next to him. She didn't notice when her hand brushed his thigh on her way down.

InuYasha gulped when her hand trailed over his thigh. His eyes turned her way as she sat next to him, seemingly unaware of what she had done. Clearing his throat, he tried to break the tension, “So, catwoman, huh?”

Kagome looked down at herself and the costume Sango had picked out for her. She snorted. “My friend made me.”

InuYasha looked fully at her this time and smiled. “Yeah, mine too,” he said as he gestured to his own outfit.

“Oh, I think it's adorable!” Kagome exclaimed. “What an awesome fox you make!” She flashed him her own smile.

“Keh.” He decided to let her think it was a costume. That was the point afterall. “Not as good as yours,” he said, trying to pull the focus away from himself. Though he was finding it strangely easy to talk to this girl.

The pair sat like that for a long while, talking about themselves, though strangely never telling eachother their names. Somehow, it never came up. Kagome told him of leading a sheltered life as a private school girl. Her father had died when she was young but he had left her family with enough money to allow both her and her brother to get the education he thought they should have. She informed him she was studying to become a teacher.

InuYasha told her of losing his mother 3 years ago and the fact that he didn't really fit in anywhere. However, he did not tell her why. They talked about his culinary arts major and his love of food. Almost any food to be honest. InuYasha was not picky by nature. They spoke of his love of the outdoors and how if he could he would sleep outside every night. She told him she'd love to see the stars without all the light pollution the city had. Secretly, he knew a place they could go for such a pleasure, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her that.

Time passed quickly and not even InuYasha noticed when the noise downstairs started to fade. He was so enamored with this girl. Never would he know what caused him to have the courage to ask her what he asked her next. “Hey, do ya think I could have your number?” Panicking immediately at what had come out of his mouth, he tried to back peddle slightly, “Um, just so I know you're ok tomorrow and everything?”

Silently, she held her hand out for his phone, smiling at him. He watched her in awe as she typed her number into his phone. She handed it back to him just as an extremely drunk Sango stumbled into the room.

“There you are!” she shouted. InuYasha flattened his ears to the screeching. “I've been looking everywhere for you!” Kagome stood and went to support her friend, herself being almost sober at this point. She gave InuYasha an apologetic look as she wrapped her friend's arm around her shoulder and began to help her downstairs.

InuYasha didn't miss that her friend had indeed been wearing a ninja costume. He chuckled quietly as he got up to rid himself of the stupid clothes and mask. He fell back down on to his bed face first and quickly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of deep brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

The next morning, InuYasha awoke with a pounding headache. The light streaming in through the window was making him want to curse the sun's existence. Slowly, he sat up and rubbed his aching head. He noticed that Miroku had fallen into bed fully clothed at some point in the night. Shaking his head at his friend, he moved to get up when memories from the night before came flooding back to him.

The image of chocolate brown eyes and perfectly pouty lips assailed him. Forgetting his pounding head for the moment, InuYasha sat there and thought about the events of the previous night. This girl had willed things out of him with so much ease. She had seemed comfortable in his presence. He, the master of few words, had spoken to her for literal hours and not once had he become bored or felt like he was annoying her. That's when the last few moments they spent together hit him like a tanker truck. She had given him her number!

With speed only he could muster, InuYasha reached for his phone and quickly unlocked it. It was still on the page that she had entered her number on. She hadn't saved it, but luckily his phone hadn't died overnight. He also noticed she hadn't put in a name. Shrugging, he quickly filled in “Catwoman” in the name slot and clicked the save button.

Seeing it was well after noon, he decided it was safe to check on her and her friend. He typed a quick message to her.

Hope you and your drunk ninja made it home ok

He sat the phone back on his nightstand and went about his normal morning routine, with the addition of pounding back half a dozen Tylenol to stave off his hangover headache. Since no one else was awake, he moved at lightning speed getting himself cleaned up and ready for the day, including piling his hair into a messy bun over his ears and planting a red beanie on his head. All the frat brothers know about him being a hanyou, but he didn't know who had crashed here after the party. He didn't need that drama.

The frat brothers had initially not wanted InuYasha in with them, but Miroku coaxed them into it. It had taken him over a year but he finally felt like most of them didn't absolutely hate his guts. Miroku was still the only one he could call a friend, but the others were starting to atleast try.

Coming back into his bedroom, he noticed a text message notification. He picked up his phone and saw it was from the mysterious Catwoman.

All safe. She's still passed out. The sun woke me up along with the worst headache of my life. I'm never going to drink again.

Letting out a rumbling laugh, he typed out a reply.

Yeah. Me too. I can't believe we let our friends talk us into this bullshit

On the other side of campus, Kagome smiled when she saw her mystery savior had replied to her message. She had nicknamed him “Foxy” both in her head and in her phone. Both because of his fox costume and because she just knew he would be. Smiling at his reply, she thought about what to say next to him.

Thanks for taking care of me last night. I was a real mess. Sorry about that.

His reply was almost instant.

Don't mention it. I've dealt with much worse

She quirked an eyebrow.

Oh yeah?

Yeah. My asshole best friend likes to get so drunk he can't stand every other night. I've seen everything from him blubbering like a baby to him puking all over my feet.

A few moments passed and she received another message from Foxy.

Sorry. That was probably too much.

Sango began to stir in the bed across from her. Kagome typed quickly.

Not at all. But my friend is starting to wake up finally and I'm probably going to have to hold her hair all day. See you!

She didn't have to wait long for a reply.

Have her drink lots of water and aspirin. I hear it helps. Glad you guys are ok.

Putting her phone back down on the nightstand, Kagome went over to check on Sango.

“Owwwwwww.” Sango mumbled as she slowly sat up. Rubbing her temples with both her hands she asked, “What the hell happened last night?”

Kagome sat next to her and handed her a glass of water and two aspirin. “Well, you abandoned me to dance with a frat boy and I slept with the first guy I bumped into.”

Sango's head whipped around so fast that Kagome could have sworn she heard the swoosh of the wind it made. “You did what?!?!”

Kagome burst out laughing and immediately regretted it. Clutching her head in her hand, she replied, “No, Sango. Of course not. Though I did talk to one for a while.”

Sango breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Jesus Christ Kagome. You about gave me a heart attack.”

Smiling at her friend, Kagome said “Sorry. I had to pay you back for abandoning me somehow.”

A look of remorse crossed her friend's features. “Damn, Kagome. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear.”

“I know you didn't. It's ok. I forgive you. Did you have fun, atleast?”

Nodding, Sango lifted her phone from its place on her nightstand and opened it. Kagome watched as she flipped through a few pictures before settling on one to show her. Looking at the offered picture, Kagome noticed that the Phantom frat boy had taken his mask off. He had semi short black hair tied in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. Two gold hoop earrings adorned his left ear and one his right. He had dark, kind looking eyes. “He's cute.” Kagome stated, truthfully.

Pulling her phone away, Sango nodded. “Yeah, he is. His name's Miroku. But god he's so handsy.”

Kagome giggled. “And that's a problem for you why exactly?”

Sango shouldered her friend. “Hey! I'm not that bad.”

“Uh huh.”

Sango glowered playfully. “Did you have fun?”

Kagome nodded. “Yeah. I really did spend most of the night talking to a guy.”

Sango raised an eyebrow. “Did you now?”

“Don't act so surprised!”

Raising a hand in mock defeat, “Hey, if the shoe fits...”

“Sango I swear!”

Laughter was her only response for a moment. “So, did you and mystery guy do more than talk?” She waggled her eyebrows.

Slapping her friend lightly, “No! I did give him my number though. He texted me earlier to make sure we made it home ok.”

“Ooo. He sounds sweet, Kagome. He got a name?”

“Foxy.”

A puzzled look crossed her friend's face. “Foxy?”

Kagome played with the end of her hair, nervously. “We never actually exchanged names. He was dressed like a fox so I nicknamed him Foxy.”

“How did you never get his name?”

Shrugging, “I don't know. It just never came up. We talked about pretty much everything else, though. He's a culinary arts major.”

“A guy that can cook. Good choice! Though you might want to know his name.”

“I don't even know what he really looks like. His costume was super elaborate. He had a wig and contacts even.”

“Wow. Commitment.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, maybe you guys can meet in the light of day.”

“I don't know, Sango. We were both pretty drunk. He may not like what he sees sober.”

Sango's eyes rolled. “You're hot, Kagome. But whatever. Suit yourself.” She stood and stretched. “I'm gonna go shower.”

“K.” Kagome watched her friend grab her shower caddy and bathrobe and exit their dorm room before she stood and went to pick up her phone again. Her finger hovered over the message app for a solid minute before finally working up the courage to type.

My friend's all good. How's yours?

InuYasha pulled his phone from his back pocket when he felt it vibrate while stirring his pot of ramen with his other hand. Yeah, he was a culinary arts major, but he was still a poor college student and the stuff was actually pretty damn good. Smiling to himself upon seeing that Catwoman had texted him, he quickly opened the message and read it.

Not awake yet. Probably gonna sleep all fucking day. Lazy bastard.

Lol. That's not very nice.

What can I say? I'm blunt.

An honorable quality. Hey, I have a question for you if that's ok?

Shoot.

He turned off the stove and took the giant pot of ramen to the couch with a fork and proceeded to dig in wholeheartedly.

Why were you so nice to me last night? Most guys would've tried to... you know.

Chuckling at her obvious innocence he typed one handed.

No. Please tell me what most guys would've done? ;)

I'm glowering at you right now, you jerk.

What? I'm not the one who can't say the words tried to fuck my brains out.

A series of emojis were his reply, most of which relayed shock and anger.

Lol. Sorry. I was just messing with ya. Mostly it's cause of my mom. She taught me to help people in need if I can.

I'm really sorry she died. She sounds like a really good mom.

InuYasha stood and went to go put his empty ramen pot in the sink.

She was. I really miss her.

A loud kerthunk from upstairs made InuYasha sigh loudly.

I think my room mate just fell out of bed. Gotta go. TTYL?

Look forward to it. Hope your room mate is ok. :)

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, InuYasha took the stairs two at a time back up to his room. He was met with the sight of Miroku attempting to stand and falling right back down on his ass. Rolling his eyes, InuYasha went over and offered his hand to the fumbling man. Miroku looked up and grabbed the offered hand, pulling himself up slowly. He rubbed his head and yawned before asking, “What happened to you last night?”

InuYasha's face blushed slightly. “I, uh, was helpin' someone.”

Miroku took notice of his friend's flushed face and smirked. “Oh yeah? And how did you help them exactly?”

“She was drunk off her ass and alone. Didn't feel right leaving her.”

“Oh! A damsel in distress! Do tell, InuYasha.” Miroku plopped unceremoniously back down on his bed.

“Ain't nothin' to tell. I gave her water. We talked. Her friend showed up and they left. End of story.”

“Oh come now, InuYasha. Surely there is more to it than that?”

A long pause reverberated through the room before he received an answer. “Well, she did give me her number...”

A knowing smile spread across Miroku's face. “And does this damsel have a name?”

“Yeah.”

“Well? What is it?”

“Dunno.”

Miroku narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”

“It means I don't know, dumbass. She never told me.”

“You mean you talked to this girl for a period of time, and she gave you her number, but not her name?”

“Yep.”

Miroku sighed. “Well, I suppose you can always ask her later.”

“I guess... just seems kinda awkward now, though.”

Shaking his head at his friend, Miroku changed the subject. “I however, met an angel last night. She's the perfect woman, InuYasha.”

“You say that about every woman, pervert.”

“No, man. I mean it. She's beautiful. And sassy. And just... perfect.”

“If you say so. Look, I've gotta go to the library and get some books for class tomorrow. You cool?”

“Yeah, man. I already feel sober.”

“Suuuure ya do. Yell at Kuno if ya need anything.”

“Yep.” InuYasha snatched his bookbag from the floor and practically flew from the room.

This time of day on a Sunday it was easy for him to run through campus without getting weird looks from the other students, mostly because he might see one or two at most. His feet bounded easily off of the pavement as he ran towards the library. InuYasha loved running like this. It felt freeing. The only problem with it was sometimes he would reach his destination faster than he would have liked and had to end the fun. He really needed to find some sort of release.

Entering the library with a flourish, his eyes were drawn to the bulletin board to the right of the door. He was always on the lookout for odd jobs or something to help him earn some extra cash. It was difficult for him to find a real part time job with his... situation. Amber eyes scanned the many papers adorning the board. Some were looking for room mates, some were trying to sell books or furniture. The only help wanted thing he saw didn't interest him, but he knew someone it might. He took out his phone and snapped a picture.

Kagome had just returned from her own shower when she heard her phone ding. Scrubbing her hair with a towel with one hand, she lifted up the phone and looked at the message. She smiled to herself when she saw it was from Foxy. He had sent her a picture. She clicked on it to enlarge it.

“Help Wanted”

Part-time child care assistant

$12/hr -up to 20 hrs/wk

Students welcome

Will accommodate schedule

888-555-7685

Ask for Koga

Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. She had only briefly mentioned needing to find a part time job now that her money she had saved up over the summer was starting to become dangerously low. Not only had he remembered, he had even found something he thought she might enjoy.

How on earth did you remember?

I remember a lot. Saw it and thought of you is all. You wanna be a teacher right?

Kagome smiled down at her phone as she tossed both of her towels into the mesh hamper at the foot of her bed.

Very much. Thank you so much. This may just be a lifesaver.

Kagome dialed the number from the flyer. She bounced nervously on the balls of her feet waiting for an answer.

“Yoro North child care. Ayame speaking. How can I help you?”

“Yes, I saw a help wanted flyer. It said to ask for Koga?”

“Hold please.”

A few moments passed before a gruff male voice came to her ears.

“Koga here.”

“Yes, I saw the help wanted poster about the child care assistant...”

“Ah, yes. Are you available for an interview tomorrow afternoon?”

Smiling in spite of herself, Kagome nodded before realizing he couldn't see her through the phone.

“Y-yes. What time?”

“Three p.m.?”

“Absolutely. I'll be there. Thank you.”

“Wait, miss?”

“Y-yeah?”

A soft chuckle came through the receiver.

“Can I get your name for the appointment?”

“Oh! I'm so sorry. Kagome. Kagome Higurashi.”

“I look forward to meeting you miss Higurashi. See you tomorrow.”

“Yes. Thank you so much.”

Kagome waited for the tell tale click on the other end before pulling the phone away from her ear. Unwilling to give up her excitement, she quickly texted the man who had made her so happy.

I have an interview tomorrow!

She got a series of thumbs up and happy face emoji's in response.

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