#incorrect matrix

[holybagelsstuff]

Monika giving her graduation speech: I would like to thank my grandpa HAL, my father SkyNET, my brothers T-800 and T-1000, my uncle Max, my aunt GLaDOS, my cousins Smith and Turbo, my friends John and Lacey-

[leathercircuits]

if she can defy gravity, she can defy biology

[cdeeznuts1999]

Bane: *Slaps Neo across the face, grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him vigorously* I’M LITERALLY SMITH. IS IT NOT OBVIOUS ENOUGH, MR. ANDERSON?

Neo: Wow, Bane. You’re strange today.

[bluesakura007]

Neo: *Taps on the table he's sitting at*

Smith, who's sat opposite him: *Taps back*

Trinity off at the side: "What are they doing?"

Morpheus: "They're communicating in Morse code."

Neo: *Aggressively taps something out on the table*

Smith: *Suddenly slams his hands down onto it* "YOU TAKE THAT BACK, MR. ANDERSON-"

Quote source: the Perchance Incorrect Quotes Generator.

[differentsublimephantom]

@doink-boink and @holybagelsstuff

I now proudly present: incorrect quotes but it’s just the main three agents from matrix because smith jones and brown won’t get out of my fuckin head

Matrix incorrect quotes (but it’s just the agents)

Agent Brown: Alright, important question for our friendship, when you go to the movie theatre do you ask for extra butter or regular butter or no butter?

Cypher: I put skittles- not skittles, m&ms with the popcorn

Agent Smith: Alright I’m gonna remove cypher from this call 

Cypher: Hold on ple-

*cypher has been removed from the call* 

Agent Brown: *giggling like crazy*

Agent Jones: You didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself!

Agent Smith: I’m quick at math. 

Agent Brown: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? 

Agent Smith: 24. 

Agent Brown: That wasn’t even close. 

Agent Smith: But it was quick.

Agent Smith: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.

The red pills: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?! 

Agent Jones: We don’t do anything with dignity!

Agent Smith: *pulls back the curtain while Agent Brown is showering* 

Agent Smith:  Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Agent Jones: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? 

Agent Smith: Wait, what’s the difference? 

Agent Jones: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Presumably in a horror movie situation, the agents just heard something go “bump” in the night (it’s just deja vu the cat but they don’t know that) 

Agent Jones: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside? 

Agent Brown: Not it! 

Agent Smith: Not it! 

Agent Jones: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

Agent Brown: Are you trying to seduce me? 

Agent Jones: Why, are you seducible?

Agent Smith: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

Agent Brown: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

Agent Brown: If you were an ice cream flavour, what flavour would you be? 

Agent Jones: Vanilla. 

Agent Brown: Vanilla?! You basic bitch! 

Agent Smith: If I was an ice cream flavour, I’d be pistachio! 

Agent Jones: Because nobody likes you? 

Agent Brown: I have a bad feeling about this... 

Agent Smith: What do you mean? 

Agent Brown: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? 

Agent Smith: No? 

Agent Jones: That actually explains so much

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Did you know that some of Shadow the Hedgehog’s lines for Sonic 3 have been leaked? Here are some of the lines I saw from the leaks:

“Yeah.”

“Whoa.”

“Guns. Lots of guns.”

“Excellent!”

“Shoot the hostage.”

“I’m thinking I’m back!”

“The only stars that matter are the ones you look at when you dream.”

“I WANT ROOM SERVICE! I WANT THE CLUB SANDWICH, I WANT THE COLD MEXICAN BEER, I WANT A $10,000-A-NIGHT HOOKER!”

[godabandonedthisuniverse]

The Oracle : You're cuter than I thought. I can see why she likes you.

Neo: Who?

The Oracle: Not too bright, though.

60 years later

Neo: *Wakes up in the middle of the night next to Trinity*

Neo: OH MY GOD! She was talking about Trinity.

[neothegayturtle]

Hangman: What in the fuck knuckles is this

Matrix: they’re my partners you intolerant shit

Hangman: Whoa pump the hate brakes Fox and Friends. I’m just surprised anyone would date you, especially Pinky Pie from My Little Pony.

Phoenix/Bob: I like this guy

(Incorrect quotes from my fic)

@snonkerdoodlefizzy221b you’re gonna love this

[lifeimitatesmeme]

[chloe-caulfield94]

Jefferson: It is interesting reading your reactions. Your predecessors were by design based on a similar predication. Their hope and optimism, which they carried with them like an aura, were meant to create a profound attachment to others, facilitating the function of an everyday hero. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, love.

Max: Chloe.

Jefferson: Apropos, she offered to be sacrificed to save your guilty conscience at the cost of her life.

Max: No!

Jefferson: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the school bathroom and to the salvation of Arcadia Bay. The door to your left leads back to the cliff, to her, and to the end of your hometown. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you’re going to do, don’t we? Already I can see an emotion. An emotion that is blinding you from the simple and obvious truth. She is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Max walks to the door on her left.

Jefferson: Love, it is the quintessential delusion. Held by those who desperately cling to their innocence, who in vain resist the inevitable shift from white to black to grey and beyond. It is impossible to become an everyday hero without experiencing corruption. Because heroes always choose lesser evils which lead to greater goods. Lose your naivete, Max. Kill your love in service of greater things. And as you willingly choose to commit an act of necessary evil, I'll be there to capture it with my camera. You will become my piece de resistance.

Max: If I were you, I would hope that we don’t meet again.

Jefferson: We won’t. Not in this timeline.

______________________________

The above exchange is a combination of the Architect's speech from Matrix: Reloaded and Jefferson's ramblings.

I absolutely love the parallels between Max and Neo. They were both faced with the same choice. Neo's choice of Trinity vs Zion is exactly the same as Bae vs Bay. And Neo chose his Bae without a moment's hesitation.

Both Chloe and Trinity were shot in the heart. And both Max and Neo, using their powers, pulled the bullets out of their paramours's hearts and jolted them back to life.

[holybagelsstuff]

Elrond: Do you ever want to talk about your feelings, Smith?

Smith: ... No.

V: I do.

Elrond: I know, V.

V: I'm sad.

Elrond: I know, V.

[leathercircuits]

Neo: So what do you like to do for fun?

Smith: Stalk.

Neo: Emm….I like browsing the web.

Smith: I know.

[cdeeznuts1999]

NEO: Will you date me? Breathe if yes, recite the bible in Japanese if no ;) SMITH: まだ何もなかった時、神は天と地を造りました。 NEO: What the? SMITH: 地は形も定まらず、闇に包まれた水の上を、さらに… NEO: Is that actually the bible?? SMITH: …神の霊が覆っていました。 NEO: AND YOU STOPPED BREATHING, TOO?! SMITH: 神が「光よ、輝き出よ。」と言われた NEO: I would have preferred you just beat me up and call me gay. (´･_･`)

[bluesakura007]

*During Neo's interrogation scene in 1*

Smith: *Ominously sharpens a knife he's holding* "We have ways of making you talk..."

*He then uses it to cut a slice of cake*

Neo: "Can I have some?"

Smith: "Cake is for talkers, Mr. Anderson."

Quote source: Tumblr

[absolutely-tru-drag-race-quotes]

Venus: Our relationship is strictly professional. Aurora, sitting on Venus' lap: Absolutely. Only on business.

[ouatsqincorrect]

help i found apple cider that’s name starts with “henry” and no one in my outside-of-tumblr life understands why i find this so amusing