#incorrect lotr quotes

[adrianright]

Oh my gods oh my gods!!!

I was inspired by Davos from Game of Thrones talking about Shireen and I thought it fit for Aulè yelling at Melkor about Mairon/Sauron and about how Melkor "killed" Mairon and manipulated and killed his beloved Maiar to create Sauron.

It may go something like this!:

Aulè: "You killed Mairon!"

Melkor: "I did no such thing-"

Aulè: "I loved that boy... like he was my own... he was good, he was kind, and YOU KILLED HIM!"

. . .

Aulè mourned for Mairon the way a parent mourned for their child...

[comradefinwych]

Elrond: Please beware, Sauron has a sweet tongue, but his intentions are evil.

Celebrimbor: You know, if you kiss him all the time, he'll be silent and won't do any harm...

Elrond: coughs

Annatar: he's not wrong, tho winks

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

[autistook]

[lithiumseven]

Frodo: *stabbed by an immortal blade*

The Hobbits: What do we do Mr. Strider

The Hobbits: *looking to this big scary mountain man so intimidating and mysterious they don’t even know his real name*

Aragorn, truly just some guy at heart: I’m gonna call my dad

[meteors-lotr]

Thorin: OW! Bilbo: What happened? Thorin: Nothing, just nicked myself on the blade Bilbo: Aw, here *kisses his finger* Thorin: Why'd you do that? Bilbo: It's a hobbit thing! Kissing booboos makes you feel better! Thorin: -Later- Thorin: Dwalin I need you to punch me in the mouth

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Ngl, obsessed with the idea that the questers know that legolas is, if not thousands of years, then centuries old, but it not regestering until he mentions having met their ancestor or a historical figure to them. It doesn’t help that legolas looks like a teenager.

Just like that scene with eowyn realizing aragorn is a legit grandpa but with legolas and the rest of the walkers instead.

Legolas: i never had the pleasure of having a conversation with the man, but from the brief glimpses of (insert boromir’s ancestor from 1000 years ago here) that i saw, he was an honorable man.

Boromir, bluescreening: yes, he was known as quite the chivalrous man. But for you to have met him you must be at least a thousand years old!

Legolas: *clicks tongue and doesn’t say anything with an amused smile*

Aragorn, who has gone through all these emotions already: older.

Gimli: Older?? Are you telling me that this beardless, pointy elf with a face of a teenager is, what? 2000?

Aragorn: more.

Gimli: MORE???

Merry: if he is close to 3000 years than he was probably born around the last war for the ring!

Legolas, enjoying this all immensely: i was old enough to fight in it actually.

Pippin: alright, so legolas is 3000 and a few centuries. That’s a lot older than i thought to be honest. He looked like the youngest elf in rivendale.

Legolas: i’m 4000, actually.

Gimli: GODDAMN IT! I knew we shouldn’t trust these babyfaced point ears! You can’t even tell their age!

Legolas: if it makes you feel better, other elves also have a hard time discerning the age of silvans. They’ve routinely thought of mine to be millenia younger that we actually are.

Boromir, having an existential crisis: what the fuck

[incorrect-lord-of-the-rings]

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Y/n: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Legolas: Even better!

Y/n: What the fuck did you-

Legolas: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Legolas: I kissed Gimli.

Aragorn: Wow.

Aragorn: I owe Gandalf so much money.

[modernincorrectlotrhobbit]

Gimli: As my good friend Aragorn once said… Gimli: Get fucked. Aragorn: I have never once said that, Gimli.

[adrianright]

A little headcanon that Elrond identified more as a Feanorian and a son/ward of Maglor. In the current events of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, Elrond wears the feanorian star as a pendant, but under his clothes. He also has an old circlet dating back to the Years of the tree that was given to him by Maedhros, the center piece was a feanorian star with a red gem in the center.

[punstars]

[ragrfisk]

Dearest Tumblr, from my exhausted brain, The Dumbest Comic:

[autistook]

LOTR & HOBBIT TEXT POSTS

[sauronnaise]

Legolas: Merry Christmas!

Gimli: Merry Christmas!

Sam: Merry Christmas!

Frodo: Merry Christmas!

Merry: Merry Christmas!

Pippin: Pippin Christmas!