#incorrect silvercyclops

[incorrectsilvercyclopsquotes]

Peter: Okay, well, what about this new linguistic discovery that I made in Chicago?

Scott: *staring intently*

Peter: What the sigma?

Peter: He’s got a level ten rizz.

Peter: No cap.

Scott: Oh! The youths, yeah.

Peter: Gen Alpha. 

Peter: Gen Alphaaaa. 

Scott: *gasps* Is that after Z?

Peter: Yessssss!

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Scott: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Pietro: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

[tired-bi-andreadytodie]

*peter and scott deep in trouble*

peter: in times like this, i wish i'd listened to what my dad used to tell me.

scott, barely keeping his shit together: ok, so what did he tell you?

peter: i don't know, i wasn't listening.

[lauriel816]

Peter, to Scott, lying facedown on the bed, regretting everything: And then I called him dad.

Erik, downstairs in the kitchen with Charles, on the verge of tears: And then he called me dad.

[crazyquicksilvertrash]

Peter: Apparently dad has been telling everyone I have a boyfriend just to mess with them and find out who is homophobic.

Peter: I can't wait to mess with him when I tell him I genuinely do have a boyfriend.

Scott:

Scott: Please tell me you aren't dating me just to mess with your dad.

[incorrectsilvercyclopsquotes]

Counter argument. Don’t think about Peter aging slower because of his mutation. Don’t think of Peter being physically twenty when he’s lived for sixty hard years. Don’t think of Peter watching the people he loves slowly die, because mutants either burn out too fast or live lives that are too long. Don’t think about Peter holding Scott’s hand when he’s on his death bed, miraculously having reached the age of one hundred and twenty. Don’t think of Peter screaming when he lays Scott to rest besides two of their children, Luna sobbing beside him. Don’t think of Peter outliving Luna. That he had just passed his two hundred and seventy sixth birthday, when he got the call that his two hundred and forty three year old daughter had been hit with alien technology too fast for even her healing factor to combat. Don’t think of Peter going to the top scientist of every generation, any person that could possibly kill him, and getting no results.

Don’t think of Peter and Wade sitting in a bar together, both around five hundred, mourning their families. Don’t think of Wade pulling out a photo album, just to show Peter his happy family. At least his husband had a healing factor too, Peter Parker had lived until he was around three hundred. Matrix was still alive, but Ellie had died in her late seventies. Peter pulls out his own albums with tear filled eyes. John had been his first child to die, a young man who had been used as nothing but a taunt from alternate reality villains in the end. Nathan had been next, all the time travel caught up to him and he aged much too fast, dying of old age before he was fifty. Scott had held on longer than a human could, but all the years had taken their toll and he had died in his sleep. Don’t think about Peter aging too slow and healing too fast. Don’t think of Peter outliving all that he knows and loves.

Don’t think about Peter aging faster due to his mutation. Don’t think about how Hank most likely found out when Peter got hurt by Apocalypse. Don’t think about Peter’s face when he finds out he has less than a year left. Don’t think about Peter not telling his friends. Not because he didn’t want them to know. But because he didn’t want them to act differently. Don’t think about Peter running into Erik a month after he found out. Don’t think about Peter wishing he could tell Erik. Don’t think about how Peter would hug Erik and say he wish he had a father like him. Don’t think about Peter collapsing and his friends taking him to Hank. Don’t think about how his friends would hug him and cry when they find out. Don’t think about Peter not being able to move a month before he dies. Don’t think about his mother’s tears when they tell her he died. Don’t think about how his grave would say he died when he was around 30.

Don’t think about how Erik would go to Charles and scream that the world wasn’t fair. That the world kept taking his children. Don’t think about Ororo remembering when Peter had made jokes when fighting the literal end of the world. Don’t think about Raven going to his grave at night and wishing that her friends didn’t die so young. Don’t think about how Scott would mourn the person who tried to save his brother and almost sacrificed himself to fight Apocalypse. Don’t think about Jean wishing she saw his death and warned him. Don’t think about Jubilee making jokes and expecting him to finish them. Only to be reminded when silence would take over. Don’t think about Peter’s sister looking back at graduation photos and crying because it was the last time she saw him. Don’t think about how the school saw how his death hit everybody. Don’t think about how he was taught in classes about how mutations can have a side effect. Don’t think about Peter dying early. Not because of a battle, but because of his mutation.

[verycorrectxmen]

Scott: Hey there new recruits, my name is Scott Summers-

Peter: And I’m the only surefire way to disengage your temporal mandibular joint, DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT!!!

Scott:

Peter: Let’s Party

[dxmerons]

Charles: we are going to choose team names. Scott?

Scott: we will be called gryffindor.

Peter: really? Not slytherin?

Scott: slytherin are the bad guys, Peter.

Peter: I know. Okay, we will be....Voldemort.

Scott: he who must not be named? I wouldn’t do that.

Peter: Voldemort

Peter: Voldemort!

Scott: okay seriously-

Jubilee: Voldemort!

*Jean rolling her eyes*

Peter: VOLDEMORT

[surferboypizzas]

*guitar strum outside Scott's door * I love you. Bitch.

kurt: “you said your dorm would be a quiet place to work on our science project, no?”

scott: “yeah... um... it usually is. peter just does this every 3:00 PM on the dot, it will pass by 3:05 at the latest if we don’t respond, he’s impatient.”

kurt: “your american customs continue to confuse me, no matter how long i live here.”

[simqly-me]

Kurt- *sitting on Warren's lap*

Scott- Why dont we do cute shit like that?

Peter- *Pulls Scott onto his lap* Here. Happy?

*a few minutes later*

Scott- Do you seriously have a boner right now?

Peter- You asked for this

[incorrectsilvercyclopsquotes]

Pietro: What’s a guy have to do to get some decent treatment around here?

Pyro: You know Quicksilver? The criminal?!

Scott: Yeah, we’re just, uh, work friends.

Pietro: Work friends? I’ve been inside of you!

Pyro: *immediate gagging*

[tired-bi-andreadytodie]

peter: what's upstairs?

scott: well, peter unfortunately the stairs don't talk...

[lauriel816]

Hank: Every time I see Raven, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.

Charles: That’s because you love her.

*meanwhile*

Peter: Every time I see Scott, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.

Erik: Don’t get close to him again, you seem to have an allergic reaction.

[crazyquicksilvertrash]

Jean: so when did you realise you wanted to marry him?

Scott: we saw a dog at the park and Peter asked the dog if he could pat him

[dying-inside-today]

Peter: Hi! I’m Peter with a B and I’ve been terrified of insects my entire life!

Scott: Wait, hold up

Peter: what?

Scott: Where’s the B?

Peter: ThErE’s A bEe!?!?!?!?

[verycorrectxmen]

Peter: I used to pray to God to take away my ass hair

Scott: You don’t think God had more to do than worry about the wicker basket climbing all over your shit?