#insulted each other

[elainiisms]

i only like couples where they are both just losers. like absolutely pathetically embarrassing. they are sooo lucky they found each other bc everyone else on the planet would rather be shot than be shackled to either of them

[vivenecii]

"Did you, uh... ever meet him?"

"Yes. Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

"Why?"

"He's a carpenter from Galilee. His travel opportunities are limited. [...] That's got to hurt. What was it he said that got everyone so upset?"

"'Be kind to each other.'"

"Oh, yeah. That'll do it."

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

i bet the aftg universe youtube videos of "neil josten and kevin day having the greatest exy friendship for 12 minutes" slapped severely

[probablybadrpgideas]

Swear Words By Fantasy Language

Common: hit your thumb really hard and see!

Dwarvish: Dwarves don’t have any swear words. Rather, a Dwarf must show their craftsmanship by combining non-swear words in a vulgar way. You’ve not been truly offended until a dwarf calls you a house-painting-horse-bargainer.

Elves: Elvish has exactly one swear word, and each elf can only use it once in their life. If uttered it kills all plant life in 300ft and everything capable of hearing must make a wisdom saving throw or disintegrate on the spot.

Giant: Giant contains such swearwords as “double fuck”, which is like normal fuck but twice as big.

Gnomish: Gnomish uses things like “tax returns” and “fiscal responsibility” as swear words. Mentioning your accountant will have you thrown out of respectable gnomish society

Goblin: Honestly, it’s easier to list the words in goblin that aren’t swear words.

Halfling: Halfling has incredibly harsh swear words, to the surprise of everyone when this pastoral little man toddling around a farm and eating muffins calls you a motherfucking shithead cockface

Draconic: Draconic swear words translate to things like “gosh darn it” and “oh heckers” but, to be fair, they come off as more serious when roared at you while you’re on fire.

Orcish: Orcish contains no swear words. Don’t assume based on stereotypes.

[thehecklingmouse]

alhaitham sulking because he hasn't seen kaveh for hours(it's been 30 minutes). the pain. the torture. its awful. his husaband(they aren't dating) has left him to rot(kaveh went to meet a client) and will never come back home ever. oh the cruelty, the pain of being abandoned.

[creepycoffins]

I said he was unpleasant, he said I was a louse, and then we took to quarreling round the house

[turtleblogatlast]

Imagine the boys getting cursed to bear witness to “some of the most negatively impactful things in their lives” and they’re terrified, thinking it’ll be stuff like the invasion or Shredder or something-

Only to be met with multiple scenarios of their family. Saying offhand, but hurtful things. Doing hurtful things. Lots of scenarios that were inconsequential to everyone but the one most affected.

And they’re all scrambling, desperate to make sure the others don’t look too deep into it haha it doesn’t really bother them- but they all know the truth. Because they’re all in the same position here. It wasn’t on purpose, and they all know it wasn’t on purpose, but it still hurts.

It’s almost a relief, that they’re going through it all together. That they can apologize for mistakes, and accept that they’ve held onto hurt too long when they could have dealt with it sooner.

And that’s how they break the curse, reversing it into something different, as they’re told that before it leaves them for good they’ll bear witness to the most positively impactful things in their lives. And now they think they’ll see some of their best victories, some of their grandest adventures-

The scenes they see then are of the same cloth as their negative ones. Simple scenes, ones that most wouldn’t remember. Times where someone managed to make someone else smile, times where they were just so content to exist by the other’s side, times where they were just happy being there with their brothers, their family.

It’s the little things that go the farthest, because that’s what you experience the most in life. And they’ll mess up again, of course. Things happen, and they’ll never really know how their actions and words will be taken. But through the good and the bad, they’re family.

Besides - turns out, there’s a lot more good.

[idontcarecarebear]

My favourite thing about rewatching the hobbit an unexpected journey is hearing Thorin call Bilbo a traitor for saying they smell bad

Thorin can dish out all the insults he wants but he can’t take one even if it’s to literally save his life

I think he was angrier then when Bilbo took the Arkenstone

[dunnowho180125]

I absolutely love (Zukka or not) fanfics in which Zuko has very dubious talents like lockpicking or pickpocketing or shady bargaining and being generally good with boats and where he doesn’t always live the lavish lifestyle of a prince and where Sokka is the one who can put shit together in nature and who can actually hunt and know what to eat and whatnot and is super good at geography and-

[lovable-bastard]

I will not sit here while people write Merthur as a soft, affectionate couple!

This is them

[originalartblog]

Little thing I did for @videogamelover99's Chuuya leaving the PM with Dazai AU!

Enjoy the boys during their 2 years in hiding, driving around Russia (and missing their stupid exit)

[sysig]

“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)

Bonus:

Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c

[anghraine]

I love that Elizabeth and Darcy are so ready to effectively tell each other they're full of shit. This happens a bunch of times, but I was re-reading their conversation at the Netherfield Ball and they're both kind of refreshingly Done.

[Darcy:] “Do you talk by rule, then, while you are dancing?” [Elizabeth:] “Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together; and yet, for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible.” [Darcy:] “Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?” “Both,” replied Elizabeth archly; “for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the éclat of a proverb.” “This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure,” said he.

It's also pretty funny, because I suspect Darcy is thinking of this sort of thing in a later conversation at Rosings:

“You mean to frighten me, Mr Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me. But I will not be alarmed, though your sister does play so well. There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.” “I shall not say that you are mistaken,” he replied, “because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know, that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which, in fact, are not your own.”

[katrasining]

I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF! I LOVE THEM!!!

[parksrway]

people who tag general loz things as LU are annoying but I think that zelink shippers are even worse tbh

[unlawfulchaos]

Ice: Hey kiddo, breakfast is ready.

Baby Bradley: Thanks. Should I give the old bitch some, too? I think he's upstairs.

Ice: We've already talked about this. Slider called Mav that ONCE in the heat of an argument and you are NOT supposed to repeat it.

Ice: Also, yes.