#iq color post

[becauseimanicequeen]

Ming and Joe's Colors in My Stand-In, Part 1: Overview

Part 2: Black and Blue

Part 3: Red and Green

Part 4: Yellow/Gold

Part 5: Brown

Part 6: Random Color Moments

I received an ask a couple of days ago asking me about Joe and Ming's colors (which is something I've been thinking about for a while) and decided to answer that question in a separate post. So, here I am.

I have a feeling I'll have a lot to say about this (because looking at the colors in QLs I love (and I love My Stand-In) is such a nerdy thing for me), so I'm sure I'll break this up into parts. I'll start by looking into what color/colors Joe and Ming are (which I'll do in this post) and then, when I've come to my conclusion about that, I'll dive deeper into their symbolism and meanings in separate posts.

Let's dive in!

My first impression, without having looked very deeply into this, is that Joe is mostly green while Ming is surrounded by/wearing a lot of black.

However, I also feel like they are both bi-colored because I believe Joe is also yellow/gold or blue (or both?) while Ming is also red. And, if this turns out to be possible, then I have them in contrasting colors and I will be screaming about that when I get to it in another post.

Since this is such a nerdy thing for me that I love to explore, I will rewatch every episode we have available now (at double speed because I'm only focusing on the colors and Joe and Ming). So, I'll be back with images and thoughts in a couple of hours.

*speeding through 7 episodes of My Stand-In*

I'm back! That was an interesting experience. (It might've been a second for you, it's two days later for me, lol.) Anyway...

I feel like I got a better sense of Ming and Joe, and I was a bit surprised that my ideas were mainly pretty good.

Before I figure out my thoughts in this post (because writing them down is how I come to conclusions about things I'm unsure about), I want to mention the colors first.

Based on my rewatch:

Ming is black and red.

Joe is blue and green.

Yellow/gold is significant to both.

Brown also has some significance (and this is where I get into nerdy territory with color theory).

(Btw, artists can discuss pink into eternity, but for the sake of simplicity in my posts, I will treat pink as the lightened value of red. So, when I mention red-ish in my posts, this is what I'm referring to. Also, since secondary colors (like orange) sometimes are hard to separate from the primary colors they're created from, because they can include a lot more of one of them, I will sometimes use yellow-ish to refer to yellow hues that might verge towards orange.)

Also, I think it's important to note my approach to Joe before I dive in. I will treat Joe 1.0 and Joe 2.0 as the same person when it comes to the colors unless stated otherwise. I might get into a tangent if I notice that the colors are different depending on the different Joes. But, unless I do, Joe is just Joe (whether 1.0 or 2.0).

Now, let's start with Ming because I feel like he's the most straightforward out of the two.

Ming is definitely associated with black.

He's often surrounded by/wearing black and it fits his moody brooder very well (I'll get into this more in another post in this series).

But Ming is also red.

Red flag jokes aside, the red goes very well with his fiery, passionate, dominant personality.

When it comes to Joe, I feel like green is the most obvious one of his colors.

Green is a color found in nature and it suits the more "grounded" parts of his personality (again, I will develop the symbolism and meanings of the colors in regards to Joe and Ming in other posts in this series).

(That Joe and Ming are green and red means that they use contrasting colors, which is also something I will yell about in another post in this series.)

Then we have blue, which I was a bit unsure about going into my rewatch. However, I feel like it has solidified a bit more since my rewatch, and I'll explain why.

The blue is usually quite subtle around Joe even though it is there. The thing that solidified Joe being blue for me was that Ming is seen surrounded by it a lot the deeper he falls/has fallen for Joe (and let's not forget the blue watch Joe gave Ming).

The blue fits Joe well as he's both caring, loyal, and sad.

I feel like this is pretty accurate and straightforward, so far. So, let's get into more complex territory.

Let's start with yellow/gold, which is a very prominent color in this series together with green and black.

I previously stated in this post that I feel like yellow/gold is significant to both Ming and Joe, and that's because they share this color.

Joe 1.0's home bathes in warm yellow/gold/yellow-ish light, which means he's constantly surrounded by it. It's part of his home, his color palette, his life.

The same goes for Ming, as his family home includes golden details. Also, I feel like the light aspect of things (which I will write more about in a separate post) also has to do with this moment where he has his queer awakening seeing Joe's back on that billboard.

Let's forget that Ming thought it was Tong and just look at those colors. Joe is surrounded by that warm yellow/gold/yellow-ish light, which latches onto Ming out of his devotion and desire for that back.

Ming and Joe both had some aspects of the yellow/gold color before they met, but it deepened the more time they spent together (especially for Ming).

In Ming's case, it started as that little light in the background when he met Tong, became more evident the moment he met Joe, until he's bathing in it every single day in his condo.

That's how affected he was by Joe.

I will probably dive deeper into how Joe is the light in Ming's life and how Ming was the light in Joe's life in another post in this series, but I wanted to mention it here as well. And it's very evident in Ming's case considering how his new place looks so much like Joe's with all that yellow/gold light.

This is the color they share. The color Ming used to mend the broken mugs that represented their life together, their connection, and their relationship.

Honestly, so far, these are the colors I'm most sure about because they show up all the time. And call me crazy if you want (I'm giving you permission to in this particular case), but I'm pretty sure this image sums it all up:

Look at the blue-ish ferris wheel, the green plant, the black sky, the two dots of red light (right underneath the right lamp), and the yellow/gold lamp. That's Ming and Joe's individual colors plus the yellow/gold they both have. Both of their colors are summed up in this one image, which leads into a scene where Joe tells Ming that Ming has made his dream come true while Ming agrees to move in with Joe.

Go on, call me crazy.

And my crazy doesn't stop there. Because then we have brown, which can become a bit complex.

Since I've already used up the image limit (why tumblr, why do you only let me have 30 images per post? This visual artist needs visual aids in her posts, damn it!) I will have to do this part without visual aids. However, I will develop the use of brown in a separate post in this series, which will include images as well.

Anyway...

Let me first get into some brief color theory, because it matters to my view of how they use brown in My Stand-In.

There are two ways that I usually mix brown when painting. The first one (and the simplest) is to mix orange and black. This is pretty interesting considering some of the yellow/gold light that often surrounds both Joe and Ming sometimes verge into the orange (which is why I call it yellow-ish). Mixing that with Ming's black gives us brown.

The other way I usually mix brown hues is by mixing the primary colors: yellow, red, and blue. Does that sound familiar? Yellow is the color they share, red is Ming, and blue is Joe.

So, in my color-deranged mind, brown happens when Ming and Joe's colors are mixed together. And, in Joe and Ming's case, I've noticed that brown has two opposite effects. It either shows up when they feel the most grounded and relaxed or when things become "too much" between them. (I will develop this in a separate post.)

Some of their more explosive scenes actually include brown, but since my image limit is reached, I can't show examples of any of those right now, so I'll leave that for the post where I'll focus on the use of brown in My Stand-In.

Now that I've established all this (which will be the focus of my other posts in this series), it's time to move on to the next part.

Part 2: Black and Blue

Part 3: Red and Green

Part 4: Yellow/Gold

Part 5: Brown

Part 6: Random Color Moments

[apopcornkernel]

wow i dont even know where to begin

[jrueships]

iq and ty !!!

[pforestsims]

I'm a fan of traits & trait mods and I really liked Atomtanned's mod /based on Dill's Turn-Ons & Turn-Offs/. This is quite an extensive edit - I just wanted to adjust it a little for my game and once I started I couldn't stop xD

Atomtanned's Trait-Based Chemistry EDIT

& (optional mod) ONLY TO Chemistry

⚡ Download: SFS ⚡BOX

*Archive contains PDF file with detailed list of changes (added / removed stuff) and a few notes.

🟢 Trait-based Chemistry mod edit is available in 7 Languages: English, German, Finnish, Polish, Swedish, Russian, French

❕ New stuff: added Facial Hair TO (replaces Daydreamer), Business Shark TO (was: Serious), Expressive TO (was: Unique). Increased hobby and interest requirements from 5 to 8 pts, Formal wear added to Stylish TO - and more...

I also included an optional mod that switches off Zodiac / Aspiration chemistry and balances out the chemistry bolts gain - so it makes chemistry betwen Sims much less complicated. Obviously it will only be useful for those who like to control every aspect of their Sims romantic lives. Details under the cut.

You'll need Traits /and stuff required for these to work/.

Credits: @atomtanned , @lilbabydilljr , Epi for their TO replacements, @lazyduchess for Lua script

@peanuttysims for No Zodiac & Aspiration attraction (MTS2 link)

I used TS4 icons, icon mashups/ edits, and my own.

Thanks: @tvickiesims , @vegan-kaktus , @lilakartoffelbrei . Special thanks to @episims for all the support 💎🤗

*This is for The Sims 2

More under the cut:

Trait-based Chemistry mod

It will replace original TS2 turn-ons and turn-offs with entirely new ones (only hair colors and fitness/fatness are unchanged!).

It conflicts with NickM406's No More Loading the * Family mod , and Tunaisafish’s Attraction Fix, make sure you don't have tunaisafish_fix_attractiontraits package in your Downloads.

🟢 It's compatible with mods that change /or switch off Zodiac chemistry, Aspiration chemistry, or both.

⚡TURN-ONS / TURN-OFFS:

Note: I've added and removed some stuff, for example Plantsims and Bigfoot from 'Occult' TO, and Zombies from 'Undead' TO!

(This is an edit of the list posted by Atomtanned: )

Adventurous: 3 vacations, Adventurous, Daredevil, Sailor, Brave

Alien: Trait, skin, eyes

Animal Lover: 2 pet friends, Animal Lover, Cat Person, Dog Person, Equestrian

Artistic: Artistic, Avant Garde, Photographer's Eye, Savvy Sculptor, Flower Arranging/Pottery/Sewing silver badge, Arts & Crafts hobby, Creative skill

Athletic: Athletic, Equestrian, Loves to Swim, Sports/Fitness hobby, Body skill

Business shark: Born-salesperson, Ambitious, Mean Spirited, Snob, Workaholic

Charismatic (charisma): Charismatic, Irresistible, Schmoozer, Star Quality, Charisma skill

Cultured (bookish): Avant Garde, Bookworm, Film & Literature Hobby

Expressive: Excitable, Childish, Party Animal, Dramatic, Over-Emotional, Diva

Facial hair

Fitness / Fatness - original

Foodie: Natural Cook, Cuisine hobby, Cooking skill

Hair colors - original

Indoorsy: Bookworm, Computer Whiz, Couch Potato, Hates the Outdoors, Film & Literature Hobby, Games Hobby

Infamous (bad reputation): Bad Reputation*, Evil, Mean-Spirited

Intellect (high IQ): Genius, Logic Skill

Introvert (reserved): Brooding, Loner, Unflirty, Shy, No sense of humor, Grumpy, Socially Awkward, < 2 Outgoing personality points

Laid Back (slacker): Couch Potato, Mooch, Slob, < 2 Active personality points

Musical: Natural Born Performer, Star Quality, Virtuoso, Music & Dance hobby

Occult (mystical): Werewolf, Witch, Fairy, Mermaid, Supernatural Fan

Outdoorsy: Angler, Green Thumb, Loves the Outdoors, Sailor, Gardening badge, Fishing badge, Nature hobby

Outgoing (social): Irresistible, Flirty, Natural Born Performer, Party Animal, Social Butterfly, > 8 Outgoing personality points

Plant Lover: Eco-Friendly, Gatherer, Green Thumb, Vegetarian, Flower/Gardening badge, Plantsim, Fairy

Rebellious: Daredevil, Inappropriate, Hot-headed, Rebellious.

Stylish (elegance): Snob, Diva, Irresistible, Cosmetology badge, Fashion interest, Formal wear

Technology: Servo, Bot Fan, Computer Whiz, Handy, Vehicle Enthusiast, Robotics silver Badge, Mechanical skill

Tidy: Neat, Cleaning skill, > 8 Neat personality points

Undead: Ghost*, Vampire

Well-Liked: Good reputation*, Friendly, Good, Proper, Nurturing.

*"Ghosts" = sims turned into playable ghosts, with Ghost trait (and Mermaids are sims with mermaid trait, but ofc you don't need these to be able to use this mod).

🔸 Hobby requirements in Dill's / Atomtanned's versions (as well as interest) were set to 5 points, which is kinda an average in my game. I don't want TOs to trigger too easily so I've increased these to 8 points, just like Skill point requirements.

I also increased good reputation requirement from 30 to 60.

Above is the comparison of original vs new TOs, in the exact order.

FYI I've fixed the little mistake I've found in the mod - in my version stylish TO works as it should.

If you have any questions about how the game calculates attraction, read this.

And here's free version (SFS) of my buyable ReNuYu potion default, will be useful if you'd like to correct TOs for all your Sims.

"ONLY TO Chemistry" mod

Conflicts with No Zodiac Chemistry by Belladovah , chemistry mods by Peanutty (it incorporates their "No zodiac and no Aspiration"mod) and any other that contain Attraction Constants BCON and Attraction Tuning BCON.

In unmodded TS2 game, interests and skills do not play part in attraction. Trait-based chemistry changes that only to some extent because Zodiac and Aspiration are more important. To make TOs the crucial attraction factor in my game, I disabled Zodiac / Aspiration Chemistry, and tweaked bolt requirements.

This mod makes chemistry between Sims straightforward and TO-based however various bonuses to attraction also apply (!), like Beauty Wish, Vacation bonuses, bonus for very good rep or penalty for extremely bad reputation (even if your Sim likes bad guys, they will be put off by Dirty Dirtbag status, and enticed by extremely good rep). Anyways, if you use this mod and your Sims have no other attraction bonuses, then:

if one Sim has a turn-on towards the other, and the other has none, it results in no bolts

if one Sim has two turn-ons towards the other, and the other has none, Sims have one bolt chemistry

if one Sim has a turn-on towards the other, and the other has a turn-off, it results in negative chemistry

if a couple has single turn-ons towards each other, it gives them one-bolt chemistry

couple has three turn-ons, that gives them two bolts

couple has three turn-ons, one turn-off, that gives them one bolt

couple has double turn-ons, they have three-bolt chemistry

Special bonuses granted by mods for certain Traits like the "irresistible" still matter of course.

[gothlute]

Since you said it was okay to send you asks about Lute (and I really wanna talk about her ajshgs): do you have any headcanons for her as a character, fallenwings and/or guitarspear? :)

Also, as a doodle idea: fallen angel Lute!

I love this so much!!!!

Okay so the fallen angel Lute doodle will be done a bit later since I ordered a graphic tablet and I wanna draw it on it. I'll tag you!

Ive already made a post about Guitarspear headcanons too :D I might post more if I get ideas!

___________________________________________

Lute headcanons.

• Metalhead & likes goth music

• Had an emo phase, obviously, tho she won't admit it

• She's REALLY into music, either listening to it or making it. Adam and her make music together! She can sing and kinda play drums (tho she's a begginer)

• Her favorite bands is Type O negative

•Her favorite colors are black and red

• Super picky eater, and so is Adam

• High IQ, and possibly autistic, she gets told to get tested a LOT but she doesnt want to

• Is SUPER good at make up, she does her eyeliner super fast

• Very very good at strategy games. She's overall very smart and learns fast. The kind of kid to learn how to read super early and then get pissed at other kids because they can't do it

• Super serious most of the time, but the most unhinged mf with Adam because she trusts him deeply. She actually makes almost as much dirty jokes as him when it's just the two of them

• Both bi and homophobic : she was raised in a SUPER religious family and feels attraction to girls but is deeply ashamed of it.

• Had a situationship with Vaggie, but had too much internalized homophobia for it to work. She's SUPER bitter about it

• Pretty interested in mythology

-She's pretty muscular and very strong, she works out a LOT and pretty much all gay exorcists have/had some sort of crush on her (and everyone's aware of it except for herself)

• Wears a band shirt and black sweatpants like 50% of the time when out of uniform

• She would LOVE the Saw movies. They have gore, interesting lore and she'd love to learn about all the traps (she would wanna try them on demons LMAO)

___________________________________________

Now let's dive deeper into the Lute and Vaggie part.

Fallenwings headcanons (sorta)

!!CW interalized homophobia

I don't believe Vaggie and Lute dated. I do think they had something going on though.

To begin with, I think Lute is bisexual, with INSANE. amounts of internalized homophobia and religious guilt. She's plain homophobic, and thinks it's a sin, while ignoring the part of her that likes it. It has been easy at first because she wasn't into ONE specific girl.

But when she started liking Vaggie, everything was way harder. Her feelings were too hard to ignore. She felt genuine physical attraction, to the point where training with her was getting hard. Everything was complicated.

And Vaggie felt this way too. She started flirting with Lute, and even though she felt painfully guilty about it, she gave in.

They kissed a copious amount of times (never in public), slept together almost as much, and genuine feelings were developping for both of them.

But Lute's self hatred was only getting worse, and it was getting in the way. She would rather die than make their relationship official (though let's be honest you'd have to be blind to miss the sexual tension during training), and Vaggie had to constantly remind Lute that it was okay, that it didn't make her a sinner.

She didn't believe it.

She sometimes pushed Vaggie away when she initiated any contact, even chaste and friendly, and got very cold and disgusted to talk to her. Because after all, she's gay.

Vaggie tried to be as understanding as possible, but it was getting too far.

Her and Lute got into an argument.

Vaggie was like "this is stupid, you insist that we hide when we see eachother, you seem uncomfortable and it's clear that you don't really like me SO we should probably just stop". She wasnt that mad just a bit annoyed and sad

Except Lute took it very badly, and got VERY defensive and mad, because Vaggie was right. She got mean and lashed out on her, Vaggie left and they just...stopped talking

Basically, Vaggie thinks Lute used her to "try it with a girl" while Lute had actual feelings, and she HATES Vaggie because she let her see her weaknesses and thinks she's disgusting for making her fall for her!! She was a lesbian after all.

+ She betrayed heaven and it was OVER. It was the proof Lute was waiting for, proof that Vaggie was just a filthy sinner, disgusting, that she deserved to rot in hell, and that Lute's little phase was over, probably a test from God she passed.

Sometimes, Lute still dreams of the filthy sinner, of her sweet words and the warmth of her embrace. She still feels all warm when seeing two girls kiss, she still gets jealous. But she knows better than to indulge in those feelings now, she's a warrior.

[veinsfullofstars]

-trips and drops all my eggs on the ground-

(ID: A small compilation of Kirby series fanart featuring Magolor in various silly and disconnected scenarios, with guest appearances by Marx, Kirby, and the rest of the RtDL team as well. More detailed descriptions and transcripts under the cut. END ID.)

I sketched out most of these months ago while I was playing through KRtDLDX for the first time. The Epilogue was giving me thoughts and the brainworms were feeding. Still, I didn’t really have any big piece ideas for these, so I figured I’d just slap them all into a comp, throw some lines and color on, and call it done. A little loose on context, I admit, but I think they came out okay in the end. I just love drawing this wretched man (and the clown that bothers him).

Sketches started 02/28/23, render started 11/02/23, finished 11/04/23. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 11/04/23.

---

Image desc. & transcripts (in no particular order):

-Magolor points to a barrel, smiling pleasantly, and says “Trust me, it’s foolproof! Now get in~” Marx looks on unimpressed.

-Magolor (in his tattered gray outfit) grabs his head with a look of fear on his face, saying “No one told me there’d be consequences to my actions!”

-Magolor (in his Tome Trackers outfit) winks and twirls his mustache, saying “Of course I’m trustworthy! You can tell by my mustache and ridiculously high IQ!”

-Shopkeeper Magolor holding the Gem Apple sapling and giving the viewer a thumbs-up, saying “That’s right! Spin-off games have canon in ‘em! It’s all over for you lore bitches!”

-Magolor happily lifting Kirby by the hands via Helper mode

-a large human hand squeezing a frightened and very unhappy-looking Magolor

-Magolor smiling smugly while the RtDL gang (off-screen save for their hands) all point their weapons at him (see the Knife Cat meme)

-Magolor showing Marx a Gem Apple, a look of wonder in the jester’s eyes

-Magolor weeping and clutching his head as a pair of large hands reminiscent of his Soul form loom around him, ready to grab

-Shopkeeper Magolor smiling with his hands together, an arrow pointing at him reading “no longer evil :)”

-Magolor (in his tattered gray outfit), first standing neutrally, then looking down at his hands, then shrugging with his eyes shut, saying “Oh, well. Time to learn nothing.”

-Shopkeeper Magolor showing off a Gem Apple to the viewer, saying “This apple cured my sociopathy! Imagine what it could do for you!”

-Magolor and Marx sitting back-to-back on the floor, the former fixing a pocket watch with a screwdriver, the latter propped up on his side watching a Minecraft let’s play on a purple childproof tablet; Mags says, “So, anyway, that’s how I lost everything to a baby, went to hell, fought my demons, and ultimately grew as a person.” Marx responds in disinterest, “Uh huh, sure, buddy.”

-Magolor winking at the viewer with a hand on his chest, saying “Of course I have a heart. Several, in fact! In really nice glass jars.”

-Magolor and Marx holding hands (er, well, Mags holding the end of Marx’s hat like a hand), facing away from each other, looking flustered and nervous; an arrow points at them reading “Shhh… they’re on their first date

-Marx smiling innocently at the viewer, eyes shut, one tooth peeking out, waving the end of his hat; an arrow points at him reading “causes problems on purpose”

-Magolor looking at something off-screen, a hand over his eyes as if to block the sun

-a tear in the background shaped eerily like a smile, a goopy drip connecting top and bottom, a blank red eye in the center peering out from within

[sawturn77]

you and i, we were

Born to die.

yuta okkotsu x reader series

-in which yuta okkotsu and y/n meet under harsh circumstance. assigned to execute him before gojo’s intervention, y/n felt uneasy, unable to feel normal around him. how could she be normal around the guy she was supposed to kill? a sweet guy who had really done nothing wrong, at that. destined to die. destined to be cursed through love. destined to meet through death.

—————————

01: beautiful stranger.

02: fragile.

03: valentine.

04: bewitched.

05: a night to remember.

06: promise.

07: someone new

08:the other woman.

09: sad girl.

10: margaret.

11: chemtrails over the country club.

12: let the light in.

13(final): born to die.

—————————

info(there will be reminders in mostly every chapter if u forget): y/n l/n, with the ability to stop time for a second and change the probability rate of something happening. her mother had the ability to choose a random card with different effects.

ace of hearts: heals

ace of diamonds: increases iq

ace of spades: increases strength

ace of clover: increases speed.

king: increases spades and clover

queen: increase hearts and diamonds

joker: automatic enemy death.

using too much of both their cursed techniques can cause internal damage (organs and brain stuff like harsh pains or amnesia.

an: another series yikes😱i figured that three series would give me room to not be stuck and burnt out on a singular series and not post abt the others. ill hopefully post the first chapter of this or the 5th chapter of ocean eyes.

also the chapters are color coded.

pink=fluff

red=lots of action, maybe disturbing themes.

blue: angst

[mas-o-kissed]

(FROM THE IMPCO ARCHIVES, IT’S PART 1 OF AN EPISODE OF BRAINDRAIN.

CW: hypnotic intox, dubcon hypno, public humiliation, kidnapping)

It’s the middle of the night, and your television flickers. There’s a static haze, a soft droning. As the picture comes into focus, a jaunty, old fashioned tune plays over the title card:

BRAINDRAIN

with Imp

Camera slowly zooms in on a small, effeminate man, grinning at the camera. A lower third tells you that his name is Imp. The image is hazy, as if it’s an old broadcast, but you could swear he has horns and a devil’s tail. Are those fangs? What is this show?

“Good evening, Impsomniacs! It’s 3 o’clock, and you know what that means. It’s time for your favorite game show: BRAINDRAIN.”

The camera follows as Imp walks across the set.

“Now, I’ve been hosting this show for many years. It’s been so long, we don’t even remember that far back! The before times, the long long ago, it all fades into nothing, like a dark void at the center of my mind, and no matter how hard I try to remember, it’s like we’re filled with this emptiness. It’s frightening, but it’s exciting at the same time. Like, what even is hiding in that dark space? Is it better if we never find out? This guy knows what I’m talking about!”

Imp points lightheartedly at an audience member, who appears to be asleep. AUDIENCE LAUGHS.

“HA! Haha. Yes.” (Stage whisper, into his headset) “Get that guy out of here. He’s too far gone to laugh at any of my jokes.”

The audience member is swiftly carted away.

“We have a very special player on our show tonight. You might recognize him from such places as snooping around Impco at 6am, or the holding room where we keep all of our prisoner— I mean contestants.”

Curtains move aside to reveal a man chained to a podium by his neck and hands. There is a gag in his mouth. He struggles against the binding. The messy scrawl on his name card says: “POSTMAN (ALLEGEDLY)”

“Usually I’m not up so early in the morning, but today I was woken up by a terrible horn-ache, and that’s when I found contestant number one poking around the facility. What do you have to say for yourself, contestant?”

Imp removes the gag from the man’s mouth.

“I was delivering a package, you lunatic!”

“Oh? Really? And what was in this package?”

“That tie! You’re wearing it right now!”

Imp looks down at the tie around his neck.

“HA! Hahaha! Oh darling, I sure wish I believed you. But you see, we’ve already downloaded dozens of fun triggers directly into your brain. It would be such a shame to waste them. Not only that, but our audience is just aching to see what’s going to happen to you. They’re ravenous. Like dogs. Isn’t that right, folks?”

APPLAUSE AND BARKING.

The man continues to struggle.

“Now, I think we all know the rules by now, but because I’m so nice, I’ll explain how the game is played.

I spin the wheel of post-hypnotic suggestions (we’re still coming up with a snappier name for it).

Whatever it lands on is the trigger I’ll use before I ask you a question.

Will you have to answer a complicated math problem after having your IQ reduced by 30 points? Will I make you into my puppet and then ask you to grab something just out of reach? Will it be a mysterious third thing?

You don’t know! And neither do I! That’s what makes the game so fun. Are you ready to play, Luke?”

“Let me go! M-my name’s not even Luke. It’s Daniel.”

“GREAT! Time to spin the wheel of post-hypnotic suggestions. Ooooooh!”

Imp spins the large, multicolored wheel. In each color is a different image, indicating a different trigger. As the wheel spins, Imp’s eyelids start fluttering. He watches it, half-lidded, a blank look on his face. The wheel has stopped spinning. Five seconds pass. An Imptern in a black t-shirt and headset rushes onto the stage. She snaps her fingers in front of Imp’s face.

“Bwuh.. wha..?”

She hurriedly whispers, “Sir, you know you’re not supposed to look directly at the wheel.”

“It’s my show. I can look wherever I want.”

“You were just zoning out, again!”

“You know I can’t be effected by hypnosis, doll. Now, get off the stage, I’m trying to do a show.”

She rushes off. TEPID AUDIENCE LAUGHTER. Imp gestures to the wheel, which has landed on a drawing of a bottle.

“Oh, a classic! Are you ready for the trigger, darling?”

“P-please don’t, I-I…”

“Hmm, stuttering and slurring like that. Oh dear… How much have you had to drink?”

The contestant’s eyelids flutter. He looks confused. His cheeks flush.

“Whas… happening?”

“You heard me. How much have you had to drink?”

“I’ve haven’t had… anything. I… I feel…”

The contestant giggles, clearly drunk. AUDIENCE LAUGHS.

“Uh oh, I think he’s had a bit too much.”

“I don… nunderstand. I didn’t think it wass real but I ffeel…”

“Didn’t think what was real? Hypnosis? Brainwashing? If that was true, we’d all be out of the job! HA! Ohh, you poor thing, you look like you’re going to be sick. Are you ready for your test, darling?”

“Fffuck.”

“No swearing dear, we’re on LIVE TV! Considering your pitiful state, I’ll keep it simple. Your question is: If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

“I… wh… what?”

“I’m sorry, that’s wrong. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know that that’s definitely not it.”

“Youu asked me a trick queshtion! Ompurpose! How’m I supposed to answer something like… that…? Shit… the room wontstop spinn..ninng…”

“Easy there, tiger. It’s time for a quick commercial break, but don’t you fret. We’ll be back to seal our dear contestant’s fate after this! (BUY IMPCO PRODUCTS!)”

There’s a commercial for Impco brand hypno-goggles. You’re not sure what hypno-goggles are, or what you’re even watching. But that Imp seems so nice. And he said to buy Impco products. So maybe you should…

(Decided to break this up with the commercials since it’s long but part 2 is coming soon! When I post it I will link it here.)

[sonicslushie]

Stars By The Pocketful~P.P.

A/N: Alrighttttt youins, anotha one. I caught up on my school work (summer classes so I don’t gotta cram 18 hours into my last semester of college lol) so here’s this. Starting part 2 od when the devil’s calling after I post this, so it’ll probs be uploaded sunday. Sorry for keeping yall waiting lol. Thinking about creating a playlist of the songs i use to write to, if youins want i’ll make it public and post it on here

Also pretend I mentioned the reader being homeschool bc I definitely didn’t. And it’s a fem reader btw.

playlist i write to, for u to read to

P.S. look up the meanings of the flowers mentioned in this i dare u

Summary: Man you really don’t like that Peter Parker kid. Or do you? 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader 

TW: underage drinking, crudeness, langauge.

Word Count: 4.8k

Peter Parker. 

Oh how you hated that guy. 

It was always Peter Parker this, Peter Parker that. Oh he’s such a sweet boy, really smart too. Did you know he was bit by a radioactive spider? Now he’s SPIDERMAN!!! Newest Avenger and don’t forget it- he’s also Tony Stark’s media proclaim prodigue! God it sucked. 

The media didn’t even know about you, Tony Stark’s only kid. Nobody talked about how you were so smart, with an IQ of 137. Nobody talked about how you have been the mastermind of most of Tony’s greatest ideas, like FRIDAY. FRIDAY was your creation, but did anyone remember that? Nope. And hell, you were sweet… Sometimes. When you wanted to be. But recently, that wasn’t often. Because most of your time was spent mentoring Tony’s “prodigue” and making sure he wasn’t doing anything stupid because Happy couldn’t take the constant texts and calls from him- not that you could handle it much better. 

Just yesterday Peter had called you to tell you he saved a cat from a tree. All you could say was “good for you” then you hung up on him and continued your Twilight marathon. 

Life was so much better when that kid wasn’t around. You had peace and quiet- well as much peace and quiet you could get in the Stark Tower. Sure there was the constant bustling around of various Avengers and SHIELD members, but they mostly let you do your own thing. You had to attend nightly dinners with your father and the rest of the Avengers that stayed in the tower and the weekly movie nights, other than that, you were free as a bird. But now you were picking Peter up from school, overseeing his patrols in case anything got out of hand, and of course you handled all correspondence between him and your father. ​​

The texts were the worst part. 

Sometimes it felt like Peter was just texting you to text you. Maybe he was bored and didn’t have any friends, you didn’t really know. Or care, for that matter. He would text you every morning with some variation of “good morning” with a BUNCH of emojis. Not even normal ones like the regular smiley or even the sun one, he typically used the jackolantern, the robot one, and the anatomical heart (yes the actual HEART not the little colored hearts). If he was feeling real weird that day he would use ALL of the star-like emojis, including the planet ones. All of which, you never responded to. Nor did you respond to the various questions he would send you, mind you they weren’t ever Avenger or Spiderman related. One time he asked you if you believed in people having auras, and if you did what color did you think his would be. (You didn’t answer him, but you did think about it. You decided his would be green.)

But the thing you hated most about Peter was that he wasn’t hate-able. He was genuinely kind, sweet, and really really smart. He made you laugh with those stupid questions he would send you and he challenged your thinking, and that’s what you hated most. Most people barely stimulated your brain, but Peter? He made you think. He made you think hard. He made you question everything you knew and felt, and it was weird. He was weird. You wanted so badly to hate him with all of your soul but you just couldn’t find it in you. Those good morning texts, the nightly calls to update you on patrol, the silence when you two are working in the lab together- it was all something you enjoyed. He didn’t annoy you- no you enjoyed his company the most. If you were being honest, all the “peace and quiet” you got before he was around was really just loneliness. He filled that loneliness simply by being Peter. 

The only thing you truly hated was all the attention he got from everyone, especially your dad. Tony Stark loves his daughter, there’s no lie in that, but sometimes it felt like he loved Peter more. For one he publicly shows his affection for Peter, but you understand why he can’t let the public know you’re his daughter. Stupid safety hazards and all with the copious amounts of super villains and bad guys that would want to use you to get to him. For two, he spends a lot of time with Peter, even if it’s not Avenger or superhero related. Just going out for burgers or hanging out in the lab building random stuff that you’ve always wanted to build with your dad. (There was this rocket that you had designed, and you dad promised to make it with you. He did it with Peter.) It just seemed like your dad preferred Peter. And that’s what hurt the most. So you deflected that anger onto Peter, unfortunately for him. 

Most days you would just be short with him, ignoring his texts, telling him to suck an egg or something. Sometimes you didn’t even speak to him at all, just some grunts in his general direction. If you had to make appearances, you would pretend to be an intern alongside Peter and spend your time sulking in a corner, maybe sneak a drink or two from the open bars and scarf down any dessert in sight.

But today you and the rest of the Avengers were informed that there was to be a gala. For what? You didn’t know, you tuned out after your dad said that everyone was to attend and look pretty. A gala? A night of dancing and eating and possibly drinking if the venue was big enough to hide from your dad. Seemed fun enough, until your dad said something directly to you. 

“Y/n, I would like you to be Peter’s date for the gala.” He said, very out of the blue to you. He had mentioned nothing about dates before, or at least you had thought so. (To be fair, you weren’t really listening, just imagining what food they would have.) 

“What- why?” You asked, perking up at the turn of conversation. 

“Because you two will be the youngest people there and I’m not trying to have a bunch of old men try to dance with my daughter. No arguments, I’ll even buy you drinks so you don’t have to sneak them.” He says, smirking at how the last part catches you off guard. You thought you had been being sneaky, but clearly drunk you got a little sloppy. 

“Why couldn’t I be Bucky’s date, I mean he’s got a vibranium arm for god's sake.” You say, sighing as you lean back on the couch. Fortunately for you, Peter wasn’t there to get all excited about the gala, he was at home with his aunt May, probably sleeping for school tomorrow. He would be almost jumping out of his seat at the thought of being invited to a gala. 

“I second that.” Bucky says, sipping from his drink, you wink at him but your dad snaps his fingers at the both of you. 

“No. I don’t have to worry about Spiderboy being a perv, old man. We go tomorrow at 6, be ready you hoodlums.” Tony says, going back to picking a movie. You zone back out, freaking out about being Peter’s date. Obviously you were gonna have to be the one to tell him, you handle giving Avenger information to him. And this just so happened to be Avenger info, even if it was just a glorified dance. 

You decided to go ahead and get it out of the way, you shot him a text, hoping he would be asleep.

Yo we’re going to a gala tomorrow. You’re my date. Avenger thing. 

Not even a minute later he responded. 

UR ASKING ME TO BE YOUR DATE?????

Fuck. 

No, dad demanded it. Literally demanded it. 

A minute goes by, you see the typing bubbles. You also feel bubbles in your stomach, as much as it pains you to admit. 

Oh, well I’m honored to be ur date either way&lt;3

Okaaaay that was enough Peter for one night. Now if you could handle a few hours of him tomorrow night. 

Tomorrow came a little too quickly for your liking. You had to go shopping for a nice dress with Natasha during the day while Peter was at school. You found a beautiful lavender dress, it clung to your figure and showed off your back in a way that made you feel pretty delicious. Natasha was the one to pick it actually, she was pretty keen to fashion and what looked nice on you. Way to go, Nat. 

You were also in charge of getting Peter’s tux, luckily you had his measurements from his suit that your dad made him, so you were able to find something that would fit him nicely and kinda sorta match you to appease your father. If you were being completely honest, you were excited to see Peter in it. He typically wore jeans and a baggy t-shirt, those did nothing for his body- no like the Spiderman suit. For someone you pretended to dislike, you had to admit, he had a nice ass. The tux was definitely going to do wonders for him- not that you would tell him that. 

After everything was done in preparation for the gala, you picked Peter up from school, who practically JUMPED into the car. 

“Y/n you are never going to believe what happened today at school- oh my gosh and the gala ,what am I gonna wear- are you excited- you don’t look excited- oh is that a bagel-” 

You shoved the bagel into his mouth to get him to shut up. 

Luckily it didn’t choke him, though in that moment you would have been okay with that happening. 

“Dude chill, I got your tux. What happened at school today?” You asked, slowly pulling the bagel out of his mouth. Peter delves into his day at school, talking about how this guy Flash (a guy you truly hated for how rude he was to Peter) slipped on a banana peel like something out of a cartoon. You actually laughed at that, like a genuine laugh. 

It was the first time Peter had heard you actually laugh at something he said. He was mesmerized by the sound of it, a warm laugh from your chest. It was unlike anything he had ever heard before, especially since it came from you. Peter was aware of how you acted towards him, I mean how couldn’t he be? The other day you threw a fork at him for just entering the room while you were dancing (or just shaking ass) to Taylor Swift. He knew he was trying a little too hard to be your friend, but he wanted to be your friend. And he might have had a little crush on you. How could he not though? You were beautiful, brilliant, and you were kind. Not outright, but it was the little things you did, like bringing him a bagel everyday when you picked him up for school, playing a playlist he sent you when you thought nobody was around, hell even going and picking up a tux for him for this gala. He knew you were sweet, he just had to crack that wall you had up. 

And that laugh felt like a crack in the foundation of that wall, and he was going to bring it tumbling down tonight. 

After a 20 minute drive to the Stark Tower and hearing all about Peter’s day and how excited he was for the gala, you two parted ways to get ready for the gala. At least you were going to get ready for the gala, Peter was going to go bother Happy into helping him figure out what your favorite flowers were, unbeknownst to you. 

Time flew by and before you knew it FRIDAY was requesting that all the Avengers met in the lobby of the tower to be shuttled off to the gala. You were dressed up to the nines, praying you wouldn’t fall over in the heels Natasha lent you. Dear god, why were they so TALL?? If Nat wasn’t a world renowned assassin, you would wallop her in the head for making you wear these monstrosities she called “shoes”. There was no way you were going to make it through the night in these and having to keep up with Peter. 

Before you could make it to the door of your room due to constant tripping, there was a knock at your door. You grunted at whoever was behind it to come in, Peter came in with one of his hands behind his back. 

He watched you as you looked up from trying to get your heel unsnagged from the carpet, your hair falling into your face slightly. It was like a moment out of a movie; he was seeing you dressed up for the first time and he was dumbstruck. There could have been a musical number dedicated to this moment right here, the moment he knew he wasn’t going to last the night without making a fool of himself trying to get you to see him the way he sees you. 

The moment was somewhat ruined when you said, “You gonna stand there drooling or are you going to help me?” 

He scrambled over to you, bringing his arm out from behind him, displaying the bouquet he got you. He had gotten you your favorite flowers, a bouquet of tulips with baby’s breath surrounding them. For a moment you faltered, caught off guard by the act of sweetness. How did he know those were your favorite? He must have asked your dad or Happy, but either way it didn’t matter, the act melted your heart. It made those butterflies come back, especially as you took him in in all of his glory. His tux fit him perfectly and dear god, the bow tie you picked out for him. The lavender color complimented his skin and the brown in his eyes, which you never truly noticed before. Boy, you were in trouble. 

“Why don’t you wear some different shoes? I’d love for you to hang on my arm all night, but those look like torture devices,” Peter says, laying the flowers on your bed and literally pulling you out of the shoes. Maybe he was right, there was no way you could happily prance about a gala in those. But before you went to pick out a different pair, you picked up the flowers. 

“How did you know?” You asked, he got what you meant. 

“Happy helped.” He said nervously, he didn’t know why he was so nervous. He was used to you being somewhat cold to him, but the soft tone in your voice was what got to him. The warmness in it was something he had always longed to hear from you. 

“I love them, thank you,” you say, putting them on your desk as you go to your closet picking a slightly less tortuous pair of heels. As you were searching through your shoes, you tried to calm the blush you had growing on your cheeks. Who knew such a small act could mean so much to someone so lonely? Once again Peter had you rethinking everything, maybe you had been a little too mean to him. You could have responded to some of his texts. You could have not thrown that fork at him the other day. Hell you could invite him to movie night like you dad had been asking you to do ever since he joined the Avengers. Why couldn’t you just get past that stupid resentment you had towards him. It wasn’t even really towards him as much as it was everyone, he just so happened to be the one to get the brunt of the anger. He didn’t even have the short end of the stick; he had the whole ass shit stick. 

Maybe you should start being nicer to him? 

Maybe. 

You grab your new heels and slip them on, holding out your arm for Peter to take. 

“Let’s get this show on the road, Pete,” you say in a surprisingly unannoyed voice. Peter took notice and was fisting pumping the air in his head. Perfect, he knew he was going to get through to you one day. 

The two of you made your way to the lobby, everyone else already there. All the Avengers catcalled and woohoo-ed, your dad even looked impressed by how well you two cleaned up. 

“Nice tux, Under roos,” he said, winking at Peter. Mood immediately ruined for you, Tony simply gave you a smirk and a nod, and added a, “That color looks very nice on you, kid.” 

Right when you were this close to enjoying the night with Peter and trying to put your sadness and anger aside he went and blew it. Not even a ‘wow you’re stunning, hey look everyone, my beautiful daughter has arrived’ like he used to in the past before Peter showed up. I will say you did try and not let it get to you. You plastered a smile to your face and gripped Peter’s arm a little harder than you meant to, making him flinch a little. But the rest of the group just doted on Peter and how nice he looked. And you were almost 110% certain it took him less than 20 minutes to get ready. It took you 3 hours. Come on guys, appreciate the art here. 

But soon enough the limo was ready to take you all to the gala, you and Peter were last in line to hop in. Out of earshot of everyone else, Peter leaned in and whispered into your ear, sending chills down your spine, “I think you outshine all the stars.” 

A bit of that coldness in your heart melted just a little bit more as you muttered a ‘thank you’ and got into the limo. 

The gala wasn’t as eventful as you thought it would be. When you guys got there, there was a red carpet, photos were taken, interviews were given, and by the end of that you were sweating from all the lights and cameras. You had never been one for pictures, but you did as you were told. 

Inside there were a bunch of old people in various cliques across the ginormous ballroom, there wasn’t anyone dancing to the soft music playing. You had guessed because the itinerary said dinner was to be served first. This was until like any party you had ever attended, this was just a classy old person party. So you and Peter waited quietly, talking amongst yourselves about what the old people might possibly be talking about (some topics you two fools came up with were: the amount of young ladies one old man could fit into his infinity pool, anal, and various other crude topics that made the two of you giggle). 

Then, dinner was finally served. You were starving, you had been saving up for this meal because you thought it would be the fanciest, most tasty food you had ever had in your life. Unfortunately, it was mediocre shrimp carbonara with rolls that were probably bought in bulk from the nearest New York. And ghastly red wine, though that might have just been you, you’re more of a pinot grigio girlie. You trudged through, with a lot of salt, it wasn’t that bad. You hated that you didn’t like it, but you had high hopes for dessert. You had heard over the old person grapevine that there was to be some kind of cheesecake, and that just might save the night. 

It didn’t. Again it tasted just like some whole foods thing and you were thoroughly disappointed. For your first gala, you have to say, it was certainly not what you were expecting. Maybe you just didn’t have the same taste buds as the elderly people around you, but damn it. You wanted a good cheesecake, and honestly a really greasy pizza. You could live without the wine for now. But one bite into the cheesecake, you looked over at Peter and you could almost read his thoughts. He was thinking the exact same thing as you: dear god why are we here right now? 

Finally, it was time for the real socializing and dancing, the one thing that would truly save the night. 

The music was classical, which honestly you didn’t mind. It was nice and melodic and calming. Perfect for the chit chat that surrounded you and Peter as you made your way to the dance floor. You had mentioned one time that you liked dancing, plus he saw what you were doing to Taylor Swift, and the minute the tables were cleared for the dance you, he offered you his hand. 

Only you didn’t notice your father and all the other Avengers that truly knew you two were watching, all with knowing looks in their eyes. Lets just say some bets were placed after you had gone to bed the night before, and Steve was winning right now. What can I say, the man has an eye for seeing through facades. (For other people, not himself, poor Steve.) 

You two got close, a lot closer than you had ever been before. Arm in arm and chest to chest, you could feel his breath on you and his heart almost beating out of his chest. You looked up into those eyes you knew all too well and saw something in them you hadn’t really noticed before. 

Adoration. 

Hope.

Longing. 

It almost threw you off your game, but you had to break the silence that was now slowly building in tension. 

“What’s got your heart going, Parker?” You used to always call him by his last name before today, you were hoping to bring him back to reality a little bit with it. What his eyes were saying couldn’t possibly be true after being such an asshole to him. 

“Dancing and being really close to pretty girls tend to do that to a guy,” he chuckles out, his eyes still glittering with unspoken emotions. It gets to the point where you have to glance away. Was it getting hot in here? It was definitely getting hot in here. 

“It’s actually probably because of that terrible wine,” you say, swaying with him the calming music. Man you wish it were calming you now. 

“Yeah that was nasty as hell.” He says, he takes the moment of you looking away to lean his head against yours, making you lean yours against his chest. Better in a way, but also worse. You could smell his cologne and boy it made you see stars. Why did he have to have good hygiene? It would make it a lot easier not to feel any type of way if he smelt like a locker room. 

A silence fell over you two as you stayed like that for the remainder of the song, more comfortable now that you weren’t looking into those deep eyes. You could ignore the emotions you saw there when you had your head on his chest, just embracing the feeling of him wrapped around you and the music taking you away to some far off time. It was actually nice, just being there with him, nobody else who knew the two of you anywhere within earshot. It made you think about the possibility of being friends with Peter, maybe even letting yourself feel whatever was bubbling in your gut. 

The music slowly turned into a more melancholy song, a few people shifted off the dance floor around you, changing partners and whatnot. But you and Peter stayed right there, and danced and danced and danced until it was time to go home. 

The limo ride back was full of tales from the night, though you and Peter sat quietly, barely even listening to the talking going on around you two. As you all arrived home, Tony offered to let Peter spend the night, and he took your dad up on that. Tony had you lead him to the guest bedroom right across the hall from yours, and that was that it seemed. 

You two bid each other an awkward goodnight, and went to your respective rooms. 

Really? Was that how you were going to end the night? You had the chance to clear the air between you and Peter and yet you were only left with a lot of questions. 

No- no. You were going to get answers. You didn’t even change out of your dress before you walked to your door and opened it- 

Only to find Peter Parker already standing there, hand in the air about the knock. 

“Oh! Hey,” you say, genuinely surprised. Great minds, am I right? 

“Hey, I just wanted to- I don’t know. The food was shit, and I’m hungry, do you wanna go grab a pizza or something?” Peter says, scratching the back of his neck. If you were honest, that sounded way better than what you had in mind. 

“I’d love to. Come on, I know the best pizza place in town and we can eat on the roof.” You say, grabbing your car keys off the desk, noticing the flowers once again. Remembering how nice it was to be in Peter’s arms. A realization hits you in that moment and you know exactly what you’re going to do about it. 

About an hour later, bellies full and happily gazing up at the stars, you and Peter laughing to yourself about how ridiculously awful that gala was. 

“They clearly had the money to get the good cheesecake, dude, what was stopping them?” Peter said, you didn’t know if it was the late night giggles or if you were finally letting yourself laugh at how blunt and goofy Peter was, but you were actually really enjoying yourself with him. You make some comment back to him, something vague as you decide it’s time to get down to business. 

You sit up all of the sudden, catching Peter off guard.  You look over at him and pull him up into a sitting position next to you, keeping your hands in his. 

“I don’t want to bring the mood down or anything, but I wanted to say I’m sorry for how I’ve acted since I’ve met you. You’re actually a really amazing person, and you didn’t deserve any of it.” You say in a tone that felt a little too serious after the giggle fest you two just had. 

“Listen, it’s okay I know I kinda just swung in and stayed. And I might have tried a little too hard to get you to be my friend. I just didn’t want you to feel left out,” he says, matching your energy. He looked you in the eyes and you know that he meant it, but you had a feeling he wasn’t saying all of it just like you. If you wanted total honesty, you had to give it. So you did. 

You explained how you felt like he was your dad’s favorite, everyone’s favorite, and that’s why you were so volatile towards him. You explained that you didn’t hate him. You hated the attention he was given, and all you ever wanted was to not feel lonely. He lets you speak through all of it, listening and taking in every word. He felt bad, but he knew there was no way your dad liked him more. Tony doted on you every chance he got, so did all of the Avengers for that matter. They all adored you, just like he does. 

“You know, you truly mean everything to them. All of them, not just your dad. Sure it doesn’t feel like it at times, and I’m sorry for taking up so much time with Tony, but he spends all of it talking about you. About how he wished you were there with us, and telling me so much about you. Everything he’s told me is true: you’re loving, loyal to a fault, fierce in your beliefs and what matters to you. You’re beyond brilliant, and the most gorgeous person to grace this planet. He loves you, Y/n. And I think I’m falling for you.” He rambles out, the last bit just flowing from his heart, his mouth moving faster than his brain. 

The last bit stunned you into silence. It was exactly what his eyes were saying before, you just wanted to hear it out loud. For a moment, Peter thought he fucked up and was going to get drop kicked off of the roof. 

You look up at the stars once more, then you look at Peter. Slowly, but not unsurely, you lean in and press a soft, warm kiss to his lips. He melts into it, all feelings of unsureness or uneasiness floating off into the night sky. He could have lived in that moment forever, finally, finally feeling at peace. 

You pull away, squeezing his hands, “Peter, when I look at the stars, I see you.” 

And he knew at that moment, he was yours.

[becauseimanicequeen]

Ming and Joe's Colors in My Stand-In, Part 6: Random Color Moments

Part 1: Overview

Part 2: Black and Blue

Part 3: Red and Green

Part 4: Yellow/Gold

Part 5: Brown

I received an ask a couple of days ago asking me about Joe and Ming's colors (which is something I've been thinking about for a while) and decided to answer that question in a separate post (which turned into a series). So, here I am.

In this post, I'm gathering the random small color moments I loved seeing in My Stand-In but that didn't fit into the other posts I've previously posted in this series.

Let's dive right in.

I loved that Joe 2.0 was wearing pink (which is, if we're keeping it simple, basically red mixed with white) the first time he meets Ming again after the accident.

And since I wrote about the red thread of fate in part 3 of this series, I love that Joe 2.0 is wearing this color (which I call red-ish in my posts) and that Ming almost instantly recognized something about him.

Another color moment I loved was this one, where all of Ming and Joe's colors are present in one frame. And it's on the first day they meet.

Ming's black (the cars) and red (that post in the background), Joe's blue (the neon-like sign on the building) and green (the plants), the yellow/gold they share (the lights in the background), and the brown (some of the features on the building behind Ming). I love moments like this.

I also love that Joe served Ming food in that golden pot, with the black nob, and putting it on the table in those red-ish oven mitts.

Gold, black, and red are all Ming's colors. And considering Joe is surrounded by green, it makes these contrasting colors (the red and the green) stand out.

Joe is basically showing his generosity by feeding Ming, and I'm pretty sure this is one of the ways he shows his love. Moments like this make my artistic soul so happy.

And, on the topic of Joe's green...

The fact that this petty little bitch (whom I love so much) is feeding Tong the green treat makes it obvious that he wants to get back at Joe for the way Joe (unintentionally, of course) made him feel jealous.

He clearly chose the green one because he knows green is Joe's color. It's also fitting since green is often associated with envy/jealousy. Ming is so fucking obvious with his pettiness and I love him dearly for it.

And, continuing on the topic of green...

Ming started out with a green phone...

Which, again, is Joe's color (even though Ming probably uses it here because he believes it's Tong's color). Then has a brown one two years after the accident...

Which represents the sadness and loneliness he's felt since Joe disappeared. Phone cases are meant for more than just protection and decoration. They're clearly meant to show off your emotions as well, lol.

And, on the topic of emotions...

Ming is sitting on a blue chair (can we call it that?) while eating instant noodles after leaving Joe on the floor in Joe's apartment.

Blue is one of Joe's colors and the instant noodles were what Joe served Ming the first night they met. Ming is clearly in his emotions, specifically his emotions for Joe. You can try to convince me that Ming isn't attached to Joe at this point. But I would not believe a single word you say, lol.

And, on the topic of Ming and Joe's relationship...

The green and gold color of the bowls Joe bought (they're so fucking pretty, btw) shows up in the post between them when Joe agrees to Ming's deal (but with some conditions of his own).

I haven't really thought about what the post and those colors showing up again might mean. Perhaps that it should've been evident to Ming that Joe 2.0 is "his" Joe. Perhaps that they're not being honest with each other or communicating clearly. Perhaps that their relationship is starting anew but in a slightly different way. Perhaps that Ming will once again (with a lot of work, growth, and groveling) make Joe feel like this again:

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Then, moving on to a whole other color situation...

When Ming found out Tong was about to ask May to marry him, the lights around them were pink. Pink represents love. But it also represents delusion, among other things, which I feel suits Ming's attachment to Tong (at least in the beginning of the show, before the time skip to 2 years later).

And after Ming is heartbroken knowing Tong will ask May to marry him, and he walks out in tears, the lights have turned blue. Blue is a color representing sadness. But it's also Joe's color. So it can be seen as if Ming, even though he's clearly hurt, is walking towards something better (even though he fucks it up).

And, on the topic of blue...

The first time Ming meets Tong and is crushing hard on him, a man walks past with a blue ladder, cutting Ming off from Tong and May, which leads to May getting closer to Tong instead of Ming.

Seriously, props to that man walking past with a blue ladder since blue is Joe's color. And this is after Ming has fallen for Joe's back (he only mistakenly thinks it's Tong's).

Tell me Ming and Joe were meant to be together without telling me they were meant to be together.

And, on the topic of the mess that's Ming, Tong, and Joe...

Say what you will about Ming using Joe as a substitute for Tong (and you're definitely right), but Ming loved Joe too.

The red bag he carried those mugs in says it all. It was a part of him (since red is one of Ming's colors) and his love for Joe.

And, on the topic of Ming's love for Joe...

There's this moment with the red and blue lines entwining on that RV (the RV Ming used). That's Joe's blue and Ming's red entwining as they meet again (and even work together).

There's a pink line too, and that line represents love. (Perhaps delusion too. But mostly love. I need to be positive about this after watching the 8th episode, lol.)

And, on the topic of red lines...

Joe is wearing a shirt with red lines on it (which isn't the first time, as I wrote in part 3 of this series). This time it's when he meets Tharn who is Joe 2.0's ex.

Perhaps it's meant to show that Joe 2.0 and Joe 1.0 actually have a red thread of fate situation going on and that their deaths (and other possible similarities) have a connection.

And, on the topic of Joe's accident...

Ming refuses to believe Joe is dead. And I love the blue light visible behind him as he says this:

Blue is Joe's color, and it's present here as Ming reinforces to himself that Joe is out there somewhere.

I also love the yellow/gold light Ming is facing. That's the color that Ming and Joe share. As I wrote in part 4 of this series, they're the light in each other's lives and the light is often guiding them toward each other (even after Joe's soul has moved into another body).

Then, at last, I have a very random color moment that doesn't have anything to do with Ming or Joe, but I just loved it so much that I had to include it...

Look at Joe's mom and Sol sitting there in contrasting colors:

The yellow and purple are so pretty together. Sol's hair is still distracting as hell (and I'm saying this as someone who used to dye my hair in various hues of red as a teenager, lol!), but at least the contrasting colors took the attention away from his hair in this particular scene (lol!).

Part 1: Overview

Part 2: Black and Blue

Part 3: Red and Green

Part 4: Yellow/Gold

Part 5: Brown

[cashcart1er]

Red - Handed

I guess I have to post this because all my other stories won’t post for sum reason🙄

IF YALL LIKE DIS ILL MAKE MORE PARTS

Summary: When she got back home from Wakanda, Shuri surprised Riri with her old suit. A couple days after that, a new student was introduced mesmerizing Riri. Riri had never felt like this before and she never wanted this feeling to stop. Riri was so obsessed to the point where she became friends with her and stalked her when they weren’t talking. No one is getting hurt…right?

Warning:Ironheart!Riri, Stalker!Riri ,Student!Riri Student!Riri, cuss words,violence, and mature language

——————————————————————————

@letitiaslabyrinth

@cafehyunji

@inmyheadimobsessed

@pantherheart

@tishlvr

@ashleighshaw

@darkangelchronicles

@ziayamikaelson

@xchoxix

@f4t3lunts

@nichole-224

@love4jennaortega

@oceean

@cuddl3s4shur1

@nightlife-things

——————————————————————————

It’s been about 2 days since Riri came back home from a brawl involving 2 nations which one was under the fucking water. When she did get back all of her projects and other assignments were done thanks to Shuri. Even though that was the case, her professors were going to be on her back anyways just like how they are right now.

“Riri I think you should stay behind and help me clean up this place considering you haven’t been here to help at all.” Mr.Aston was the worst of them all. It was like her IQ was bothering him so much he wanted Riri to be bothered with him.

The bell rung shortly after he spoke to Riri and they started cleaning up some paperwork and cleared the board that was covered with lessons that were thought today. “Mrs.Williams I must ask, where have you been? If I’m being honest, MIT has been quite bland without you.” Riri chuckled because she knew that he meant he had no one to be all up on.

“Sorry I left you without someone to bother” She spoke sarcastically making him scoff. “I’m just harder on you because you’re smarter than all these other students.”

“Yeah ok. See you tomorrow Jeffrey.” He gasped as if she was trying to kill him. “It’s Mr.Aston to you-” “Bye Jeffrey” She closed the classroom door before he could get even more annoyed than he already was. Riri didn’t have any more classes that day so shenwas headed to the garage with Kehlani booming in her AirPods.

“Let me go ahead and add this to my playli-“ before Riri could even finish mumbling to herself, someone rammed into her shoulder like they’re at football practice causing her to fall in the middle of the hallway. “Have you lost your fucki- oh my” And there you were.

Usually in any other universe, the two soon to be love birds would become friends for a while until the have that mind blowing first kiss but this was different. You see this girl was not like any other girl. There was something about her mocha colored skin and they way her lip gloss was smoothly glistening on her lips.

This unknown difference sparked something in Riri. Something lovely yet something…obsessive. “Shit! I’m sorry I’m running late to a class” This girl helped Riri up with her soft hands as Riri could do nothing but stare. The was a small scratch on Riri’s forearm which the other female took notice in.

“Damn and I roughed you up a bit. I’ll make it up to you” The girl grabbed a piece of paper from her bad and began writing on it. “This..is my number. We could go out to eat sometime. I’m Y/N by the way. And you?” Riri snapped out the trance she was in to answer Y/N’s question “R-Riri uh Williams” Y/N giggled at her stutters as she put the slip of paper into Riris’ hand.

“I’ll call you soon Ri” It was almost like Y/N spoke in a flirty tone..then again that could just be Riris’ delusions. Either way, this wasn’t going to be Riris’ last time seeing Y/N even if her life depended on it.

Once she got to the garage she saw her boy best friend Q which she met in an engineering class. “Wassup Ri! The fuck you been? You know there has been some rumors about you being up in Wakanda and shit” Riri didn’t even acknowledge her friend at first as she was still replaying the conversation you and her had until he hit her on her shoulder.

“Oh what’s up” He scoffed at her dry response even though that’s how she usually is. “I said where the hell you been lil nigga?” Riri shot a mean glare at him due to the name. “First of all, why can’t I go somewhere without you asking where I was and Second, don’t call me lil cuz’ ain’t shit little about me nigga” He chuckled at Riris’ temper.

“Damn my bad. I see you about to head into the garage. Can I see what’s under that dusty ass blanket now?” Riri scoffed at his unnecessary insult to the cover that used to hold the original Ironheart suit. “No it’s been shipped somewhere. Even it wasn’t, I still wouldn’t let you see it because what’s under that is a secret.

Q whined at the shorter girl’s stubbornness. “Man whatever. Anyways after you done with whatever you gotta do, wanna get sum to eat?” Riri grinned a bit at the gesture. “If I’m not busy then maybe” Q was shocked because usually it was an immediate because she had ‘better things to do’ but Riri was in a good mood.

“For real? Cool see you later” Riri was about to remind the taller guy she said maybe but he was already running off. After that, Riri went into her garage ready to rebuild her suit that was already in the garage? “What the fuck?” There was a note on the chest area of the suit catching Riris’ attention.

‘Repaired your old suit! (Without using vibranium) I hope it’s the way you want it. You still need to lay low though. Those officers aren’t too happy about happy about Ironheart being back on the move’ - Shuri. This made the shorter girl chuckle. she was glad to be back to her old suit and anyone tell if they saw how she was embracing it right now. “Alright let’s get you updated”

——————————————————————————

A couple hours had passed and it was about 10:45. Riri wanted to sleep in her dorm today instead of her trusty workshop just to worry about being late to class the next day. I soon as she stepped out her garage there you were again. You looked beautiful where you stood as your curly fro flowed in the crisp breeze. Before Riri could even get more lost in your eyes, you began moving onto your next destination which looked like the dorm A center.

Riris’ dorm center is dorm B but it wouldn’t hurt to make a small stop right? Riri began speed walking so she could close the gap slightly but left it open just a bit to keep her from getting caught. Riri kept a close eye on you as she slowly crept behind.

SNAP

Then just as things started to ease through, a fucking twig snapped. Riri dashed behind a trash can before you could notice her. “Yo anyone there?” You asked but no response was given back. “Let me just get to my dorm” you mumbled continuing your walk.

After a second or two Riri got right back up following you once again. If she was being honest, when she found out what dorm number you have she didn’t know what she was going to do with such information but she was going to see regardless.

They were just about there to the dorms but let you slip away slightly when you cut a corner. Riri was a bit behind so she needed to speed walk a bit. “Slow the hell d-“

SMACK

Riri were met with your fist as soon as she turned on the same corner as you. She fell down from the blow wincing. “Who are you and why the fuck are you following me perv?” You saw Riri and a look of confusion doused your face. “What the f-fuck? My nose is bleeding” Riri acted as if she was clueless why she was hit.

“You were just following me what did you think was going to happen?” “I wasn’t- shit following you! I was going to my friends crib and he’s in this dorm center” Riri was partially lying. Q did have a dorm here but that was definitely not the reason why she was headed here but of course, you became apologetic falling for Riris lie.

“Im so sorry I jumped to conclusions. Here come to my dorm I can fix you up” Riri accepted the hand you held out for her so you can help her up.

Now you’re really in it deep

[bisexual-queenie]

Could you please write more BNHA Pro Heroes as Incorrect Quotes. I need a Pt.2

OMG Im so happy that someone wanted a part 2 to one of my favorite posts that I made!! Here yall go!

(Few trigger warnings before we begin: Use if swearing, and mentions of violence an alcohol. Let me know if I missed anything!)

Ships mentioned (Vaugley and outright): Erasermic, Edgejeanist, Nightmight, and Kamui x Mount Lady

—————————————————————————

Eraserhead: You have to apologize to Takeyama.

Midnight: Fine.

Midnight: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

All Might: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Nighteye: Thank you!

All Might: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Nighteye: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Present Mic: Do you remember that horrible roommate you had back in college?

Eraserhead: You mean you?

Mount Lady: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Kamui Woods: Wha-

Mount Lady: And then I remember that I won't be able to see you if I do.

Kamui Woods: *blushes*

———————————————————————

Best Jeanist: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Edgeshot: Good for you.

Miruko: Do I look nice?

Fat Gum: You look like you're about to set someone on fire.

Miruko: Perfect.

Present Mic: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Miruko: And you know what the worst part is?

Ryukyuu: That you're having to process your pain without vodka?

Miruko: No.

Miruko: Yeah.

Midnight: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?

Eraserhead: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.

Present Mic: Something illegal.

Shirakumo: Accept my fate.

Tensei: I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow.

Eraserhead: What?

Shirakumo: That's fucking awesome. Can I change my answer?

Eraserhead: Hizashi, just GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Present Mic: Who's stab wound is this???? Is it OUR stab wound???? No! Stay out of it!

Hawks: I'm the proud owner of an IQ of 5 (and a half)!

Endeavor: Not for long.

Hawks: Please. It's all I have.

Present Mic: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.

Present Mic: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun. Short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

Nighteye: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Present Mic: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

Gang Orca: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Edgeshot: Kuugo, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Gang Orca: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Edgeshot: Well, I mean yeah.

Gang Orca: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Best Jeanist: Wait, you just made them?

Gang Orca: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Edgeshot: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kuugo.

Present Mic: *speaking Spanish*

Eraserhead: I know, I know.

All Might: You speak Spanish?

Eraserhead: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Hizashi speaks.

All Might: I would never say that Mirai is a bitch and I don’t don’t like him. That’s not true…Mirai is a bitch and I like him so much!

Edgeshot: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

*Present Mic sneezes*

Eraserhead: Hizashi, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*anyone else sneezes*

Eraserhead: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

Hawks: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.

Miruko: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Fat Gum: Hey Sasaki?

Nighteye: Yeah?

Fat Gum: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Nighteye:

Nighteye: ...What.

Ryukyuu: So, what's it like living with Hakamada?

Edgeshot: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Ryukyuu: ...

Edgeshot: I love them so much.

Fat Gum: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

Someone interviewing the Lurkers: What are the hardest things to say?

Mount Lady: I was wrong.

Edgeshot: I need help.

Kamui Woods: Worcestershire sauce.

Eraserhead: You’re drunk.

Present Mic: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Shouta.

Endeavor: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Hawks: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Best Jeanist: I got distracted halfway through.

Edgeshot: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Hawks: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

All Might: Schrödinger's boys.

Miruko: FUCK!

Present Mic: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Nighteye: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Nighteye: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Hawks: ...

All Might: ...

Miruko: ...

Present Mic: ...

Nighteye: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

[steffani-milligan]

Sorry guys. I don't have any ideas for posts, so here's what I have at the moment "T-T

Name: Bobby Bearhug

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Pronouns: She/Her

~Dop Info~

♥️- A kind and caring soul showing compassion for everyone and for everything

♥️- She loves hugging and giving love to her friends

♥️- Sometimes she is nalve, because she can take care of someone who, deep down, does not have the best intentions

♥️- She loves honey, cooking, flowers and drawing hearts

♥️- Loves Valentine's Day

♥️- Autophobia

♥️- She keeps her own personal diary and sometimes writes fan fiction

♥️- Pink and red are her favorite colors

Name: DogDay

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual & Omnisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

~Dop Info~

☀️- A cheerful, strong and determined leader of our critters

☀️- He always looks on the bright side of things and encourages others in difficult times

☀️- He doesn't like it when his friends are sad, and especially when they cry, so he tries his best to comfort and calm them down

☀️- He likes jokes and laughs even if he didn't understand them

☀️- Ancraophobia

☀️- Very tickling

☀️- He likes to draw and play with the ball and his friends

Name: KickinChicken

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual & Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

~Dop Info~

⭐ - He likes to wear cool sunglasses even at night if he wants to, and if anyone asks him why he does it, he will say that: "I look even cooler in my cool sunglasses"

⭐- He likes surfing because he thinks it's cool. he also loves dancing and sports

⭐ - Tendencies to fear

⭐ - He knows how to skateboard and knows a little karate

⭐ - He loves to do some extreme things, jokes, pranks and so on

⭐ - Loves sports

⭐ - He can't fly, but he can swim

⭐- He has a strong sense of determination, as he will calmly come out of any tense situation that will bring him to his knees

⭐- He likes to present himself as a "cool kid" in front of others. he highly appreciates this idea of himself, so he maintains his image in everything he does

Name: Hoppy Hopscotch

Gender: Demi-girl

Sexuality: Pansexual

Pronouns: She/Her

~Dop Info~

⚡- Supports energy and enthusiasm

⚡- It happens that she can be very hyperactive, which is why she can accidentally break something or harm herself

⚡- Sometimes she is loud and impatient

⚡- ADHD

⚡- She loves sports and vegetables very much

⚡- She is not afraid to take risks and always strives for her goal

⚡- Her favorite game is volleyball and football

⚡- She can jump rope

Name: CraftyCorn

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Omnisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

~Dop Info~

🌈- A conscious observer of both color and creativity in the world

🌈- She can see beauty in everything that is imagined and shaped

🌈- She loves to draw and create

🌈- She likes rainbows, flowers and bright colors

🌈- Sky blue is her favorite color

🌈- Likes to make himself different hairstyles

🌈- She makes not only a good artist, but also a hairdresser

🌈- Too shy, but a little sensitive and touchy. Also a very hardworking and creative person

Name: Bubba Bubbaphant

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Asexual & Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

~Dop Info~

💡- He supports his friends and always encourages them to make smart choices

💡- Very smart in a gang with a high IQ

💡- He likes to read, learn and learn something new and mathematics

💡- Not ticklish

💡- Inquisitive and attentive. He always knows when someone is lying

💡- Sometimes he may forget to rest or sleep when he gets carried away in reading

💡- He often visits the library

Name: CatNap

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Demisexual & Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

~Dop Info~

🌙- Ensures that he and his friends can always get enough sleep to start the morning game

🌙- He is silent most of the day and does not like to talk too much

🌙- He likes to look at his sleeping friends. It makes him happy and relaxed

🌙- Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)

🌙- Frequent insomnia

🌙- Loves the night and watching the stars

🌙- A little introverted

🌙- He is a gentle and affectionate cat, but sometimes quite cunning

🌙- He always chases a laser pointer because of his feline instincts, even though it annoys him

Name: Picky Piggy

Gender: Demi-girl

Sexuality: Asexual & Bisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

~Dop Info~

🍎- She knows how to cook and loves to eat delicious food

🍎- She likes to work on the farm and grow vegetables and fruits

🍎- Gets dirty a lot

🍎- Likes to help and doesn't like too much attention

🍎- A little introverted

🍎- Pretty strong and hardworking

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

a glimpse of maybe

summary: spencer never really got over maeve - no one can truly forget their first love... that doesn’t stop his best friend, y/n, from trying. 

word count: 1,464                                                                                        reading time aprox: 6 mins

warnings: themes of unrequited love, angst (my specialty)

a/n: first fic back! This can be read by anybody - no specificity in features, gender, etc. Please let me know if I’ve made any errors regarding this. 

masterlist

Jealousy is described as a white hot anger that burns behind your eyelids, paralyzes every muscle, and turns you as green as a swamp. Well, whoever said that must have been a complete idiot… or a lucky fool who has never experienced the depth of longing for someone you can’t have. 

Instead, coldness surrounds you and bites at your veins with ferocity. What they don’t tell you about is the constant emptiness that fills you whenever he looks behind your eyes to try and get a glimpse of her - if there even is one. 

Spencer disguised his grief well; longing stares that I believed were for me, but in truth, were the remnants of her. When he started to reach for my hands and suggested we hang out more, I should’ve known then. Maybe it’s partly my fault - maybe I fell in love with the idea of a blissful tragedy that was bound to happen. 

-

“Spencer, may I remind you that I’m the one with the PhD in Chemistry here. Don’t try to tell me about my own dissertation…” Spencer takes his bottom lip under his teeth with a sly smile, a subtle tell that he was about to protest. “...and just because I technically haven’t received physical proof of my degree, doesn’t mean I’m any less knowledgeable than you, Mr. 187 IQ.” 

He shrugged his shoulders and immediately raised his hands in defense. “I never said that,” he argued while I stared at him pointedly. “I’ll just take my three PhDs elsewhere–” 

“Here we go again with your smart-ass attitude,” I scoffed playfully, burying the smile behind my unimpressed visage as he took pleasure in making me laugh - a ghost of a satisfied and happy glint in his irises. I haven’t seen him so… normal until now. 

A butterfly stretches its wings inside my stomach as Spencer begins to regain a youthful color to his skin. A comfortable silence washes over us as our laughter dies down into nothing but warm glances shared between us. A much too familiar bubble swells in my chest and engulfs the space in my lungs, preventing air from reaching it. 

One. Two. Three new freckles strayed from the top of his eyebrows to the tip of his slightly tanned nose. The amount of times I’ve told this persistent man to put on some sunscreen is incredulous - I can already see the breaking of DNA from the abundance of UV exposure. 

At least he’s getting more sun - he’s going out more. That’s good. Yes… it’s good. You know what’s not good though? Skin cancer. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Spencer broke me out of my trance, throwing an old crumpled up post-it note at my face. 

He really needs to start cleaning up this place. His living room had turned into Oxford’s long lost library archive or a Barnes and Nobles’ recycling dump. Spencer hasn’t really fixed up the place since… 

I make a mental note to help Spencer spruce up the place once he’s ready - and to get him some SPF 1000 while I’m at it. What are best friends for? 

“I was actually just thinking about how much you must be begging for skin cancer,” I teased, taking the crumpled up note and setting it on the side table to cast to the garbage, later on. “But of course, maybe that’s something your three PhDs can defend you from too.” 

“Who’s the smart-ass now, Y/N?” 

“You’re right… we can’t have two smart-asses now, can we?” I sighed, relaxing further into the loveseat I sat in, tracing the stitching that lined the leather material. “Is that offer of you taking your business elsewhere still up?” 

Tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, he leaned forward with a cheshire smile and a look that was out-of-character for him. “Is that what you really want, Y/N? Cause half of my business practically includes you in it,” he admits. 

I suppressed the blush that was threatening to bloom on my cheeks. Averting my attention from his prying gaze. “I get it, Spencer. I’m the most interesting part of your life,” I half-heartedly joked; a part of me longing for it to be true. 

His lips quirked at my quick response, that bright glow in his eyes making another appearance.

Maybe this time, it can be true. 

“You look good like that, Spencer,” I commented with underlying hesitance. 

“Like what?” 

“...happy. Like you're happy.” 

‘I love seeing you happy… happy with me’ was what I really wanted to tell him. 

“I am happy,” his eyes subtly trail down from my eyes, to my nose, and finally, to my lips. “I feel nothing else whenever I’m with you.” 

My lips parted slightly in desperate need for air. In that moment, the mess of the room was gone, the sunscreen forgotten, and the mental barrier lifted. Heat swirled in my stomach and crept up my throat. The butterflies raced inside me with grace, leaving me lightheaded in the moment. 

“You’re only saying that because I’m the only one sane enough to keep hanging around you.” I attempt to brush off his suggestive tone, fearful of mistaking it for genuine interest. I tucked my hair behind my ears, grounding myself back to bleak reality. 

“You know for someone who’s almost has their PhD–” 

“–does have.” I interrupt. 

“...who DOES HAVE their PhD, you’d think you’d figure out to stay away from a guy who can only handle one person in their vicinity. What if I was a psychopath?” 

“I never said you weren’t,” I cut in. 

“Smart-ass.”

“Such a smart-ass,” we retorted simultaneously. 

We broke out into a gleeful fit of laughter, amused at our telepathic nature. The bubble in my lungs only continued to grow, only this time I wasn’t suffocating. I guess living for the hope of it all was enough to feel this way. It was then I decided that maybe the wanting was enough. 

I wish you were my smart-ass. Mine.

“You’ve always known what to say, Y/N,” he teased with a doting tone. 

I didn’t bother to hold back the loving grin that graced my lips and the admiration that poured out of me because in that moment it felt like he was mine to lose - and only mine to love. 

“I love when you smile like that - your dimple shows up just at the surface of your right cheek. That’s how I know I’ve really made you happy.” He presses into his own cheek, leaving a temporary impression of his finger. Something deeper settles into his eyes as his smile cracks subtly. “...Maeve had the same indent on her left cheek - one of her prettiest quirks.” 

And just like that, reality sets in. 

He may have been mine from the start… but I never really was his, was I? 

All at once, that warm bubble shriveled into nothing but a cold and sharp cacophony of hope that had been stricken down. My esophagus constricted around the razor-sharp words threatening to slip by my lips - a stinging sensation imprinting itself on the walls of my chest. 

I lost all focus, swimming around desperately in the concaves of my mind for some sort of solace. My mental attempts bore fruitless to the sharks, that were his words, endlessly tailing me. The emptiness and despair threw my body into an indescribable numbness - a contrast from the searing wetness that hid behind my eyelids. 

…silence.

All my impulses, insecurities, and irrationality formed into one, throwing away all sense of decorum and decency. I bit my tongue, immersing myself in the taste of iron to distract myself from the unpleasant thoughts. 

Why would you say that, Spencer? 

I wanted to scream, claw, and fight. I wanted to feel anything - anything else but this. 

Why is it never me?

But I also wanted to bring Maeve back. I wanted Spencer to truly be happy again. Not just for a moment of happiness… of love. 

Am I too hard to want (like the way I want you)?

Sometimes I wish I can turn you back into a stranger, Spencer. Only then I wouldn’t be yours just to hurt. But you were right though… I never want you elsewhere. I want you here, a blissful wound that I will willingly carry any day just to get a glimpse of ‘maybe.’ 

But I didn’t dare to say those words, not to him - never to him. My tears retreated back into their sockets as I embraced the numbness that came with reality. I flicked the post-it back into the expanding mess in the room, where it knows its place. 

“...of course, Spencer. I feel nothing else when I’m with you.” 

-

taglist: @rexorangecouny @howdycharlie @honeymilk-4 @linthebinbag @andreasworlsboring101 @ssareidbby @kyleetheeditor @fanofalltheficsx​ @jimilogy @lulwaxim @jhillio @m3ssytrash @haylaansmi @meowiemari @ashwarren32 @codyf3rnsupremecy @goldentournesol​

[existslikepristin]

Later than I said I would post the story? Never heard of her. I am simultaneously thankful and sorry @ggidolsmuts for reviewing this for me to verify it makes just the right amount of a lack of sense.

Anyway, please make note of the trigger warnings in red in the tags. Unless you're color blind, in which case you're about to be awakened to some new kinks. Congratulations.

(Oh and fuck BBC entertainment, if that wasn't obvious.)

Churchgirleum Yawjinius

Tags: NSFW, TheLounge, Loona, Yeojin, futa!Choerry, futa!Hyunjin, futa!Jinsoul, futa!Heejin, futa!Haseul, some other bitch, briefly questionable consent, regularly questionable sanity, anal, double anal, TRIPLE ANAL are you kidding me, alliteration, extreme deepthroat, humiliating someone who deserves it, piss, gallons of cum, slight foot fetish, Jinsoul’s cum is referred to as fish jizz twice and it is a joke I promise, clit smacking, light? bondage, sacrilege, “praying” for dick, writing this lowered my IQ, is Yeojin crazy or is she a prophet, who would ever think this was a good idea, dick sizes never explicitly stated but implied to be unrealistically large, Heejin might be the most normal person there somehow, squelching lube sounds, idgaf this is canon, SCIENCE probably, losing the plot halfway through, is Choerry a vampire or is she a prophet, a little bit of “Mommy”

~~~~~

Spring.

Light and warmth summon fast growth. It's a time that calls for maximum performance all 'round, but provides plentiful sustenance in return.

There's a lot to do! Ensuring future generations, and getting the world to bloom again.

Colors, scents, and bird song cast a spell over Seoul's spring worlds.

Early spring. At first, it's barely noticeable. The beginning of March, the nights are still frosty, and the trees, bare. The last of the winter's chill, still in the air. But the early returning flocks of birds signal a new start. In the fields and meadows, still bare from winter, the pleasurable anticipation is almost tangible. And by pleasurable anticipation, of course, I mean the incredibly rare species, known scientifically as Churchgirleum Yawjinius getting absolutely railed in the asshole by the equally rare species, Thiccdiccaeus Cherrinus.

A strange mating ritual, one might say, as they are not quite "mating" in the traditional sense, and thus are not considered to be, as is referred to, scientifically speaking, "sinning." Good thing, too, for they are performing this semi-pseudo mating ritual within the most sacred place of worship, the church. Let us now take a closer look, and see what we may learn from this quite unlikely interaction we've stumbled upon.

~~~

Yeojin's voice jumped with every syllable she spoke. "Fuck. Yes. Choe. Rry. Fuck. Me." The church pew she leaned over creaked each time her body lurched forward. The nails holding it to the floor weren't made for that kind of motion.

"Oh yeah Yeojin! My... peepee feels so good... in your bum!" Choerry cooed. She had to hold a particularly wide stance to get down to Yeojin's level, which meant her balls were free to swing ahead to slap Yeojin's pussy.

Neither of them were exactly dressed for a usual Sunday service, but at least Yeojin tried. She wore a "slightly modified" version of the classic religion-based school girl outfit: a very short tube top (but with straps) that would have been ever so slightly more modest if she hadn't discarded her jacket before the fucking began, a skirt that was most definitely not regulation length (for which she deserved a good spanking), socks that came up to her knees, and plain black flats.

Choerry was naked.

Nowhere to be seen in the entire church was a pair of panties (or any of Choerry's clothes for that matter), most likely because the little whores didn't wear them in the first place.

Besides the sounds of extreme not-technically-fornication, the chapel was silent, which meant it was absolutely not even a little bit remotely silent. Grunts, moans, claps, smacks, swearing, and mildly naughty words filled the air like a hymn. Depending on their denomination and if they were there, an entire choir might have joined in. On the hymn, not the sex, obviously, if it wasn’t obvious.

Choerry's butt fucking only increased in enthusiastic intensity as she drew closer and closer to orgasm, dragging Yeojin's legs further and further up the back of the pew. Eventually, Yeojin's feet left the floor and hung limp, bouncing off the old, cushionless wood. Her front half was bent over, and she gripped onto the front of the seat (though not because she noticed the subtle rocking of the pew as the nails were pulled out of the floor).

A stern, stoic, strangely stupid, feminine voice rang out from the back of the church. “In the name of all that is holy, what are you doing?!”

Though Yeojin was too dickmatized to even properly notice, Choerry squealed and jumped at the shouting, in just the right forward direction and with just the right momentum that those weak-ass pew nails couldn’t hold up to the thrust. The sudden rush toward the floor, exceptionally loud crash of wood on wood, and Choerry’s uncontrolled, crushing weight, however, certainly did get Yeojin’s attention. The two of them groaned on the floor, and only ten percent of their combined groaning at that point had anything to do with a slowly closing gaped asshole.

Time to ponder said gape was in short supply however, as they heard rushed footsteps coming their way.

“Y-Yeojin, we gotta go!” Choerry whispered far too loudly.

“Hold it right there!” shouted the new stranger.

Yeojin’s eyes shot open (like her butt). “Fuckin! Is that the goddamn priest?!”

Choerry grimaced. “Is that… Are you allowed to say that?”

The one of them more concerned with being caught than bad language pointed at the confessional booth. “Quick! In there!”

~~~

Incredible. Haven’t we already learned so much?

Now, escaping predators is often a frantic affair, and we see it is no different here with Yawjinius and Cherrinus. When a creature sees a burrow that will fit them nicely, whether or not they constructed it themselves, they will quickly resort to using it. Sometimes, they do this without taking any consequences whatsoever into account. For example, what if the burrow is one-ended, and the only way out is the way they went in, directly into the awaiting jaws of the predator?

Of course, a booth is an extremely short one-ended burrow. At least this one has doors! Let’s see if Yawjinius and Cherrinus are able to escape.

~~~

Useless fists pounded on both doors of the booth. “Hey! Get out of there! You’re not supposed to…” The doors rattled a bit. “Why are there locks on these?!”

Choerry wiped the sweat off her forehead. “I can’t believe we made it without being recognized. I’ve never run that fast in my entire life, I think.”

“Yeah yeah,” Yeojin groaned, “Well we gotta figure out what we’re going to do—Why are you standing on the seat?”

“You can see me?!”

“These mesh things obscure nothing. Of course I can. And your cock looks fucking delish. Stand back for a second.”

Yeojin maneuvered around awkwardly in the cramped space until she was nearly upside down and able to kick a hole in the wooden mesh. Doing so resulted in a frightened squeal from Choerry, and a "What in God's name?!" from the dumb shit outside the booth.

It took no time at all for Choerry to get the point and stick her dick through the impromptu glory hole. Apprehension would have been warranted, since the hole was encircled by splintered wood, but something something joke about her hardwood being harder.

The good little sucklicant she was, Yeojin knelt on the seat and wrapped her throat around Choerry’s Thiccdiccaeus.

"Yeojin, your bum feels different!"

Yeojin gagged in response.

"Oh." Choerry backed up slightly to make small thrusts into the orifice she then realized her cock was actually inside. Thankfully she was not stupid enough to think an asshole could gag on a dick. In the literal sense. The asshole that chased them into the confessional booth, however, could.

"I'm getting a key!" the asshole shouted. Her rapidly disappearing footsteps proved her to be a bitch of her word.

While it would have been an ideal opportunity for Yeojin and Choerry to escape in that moment, they decided not to, because deepthroat glory holes in confessional booths are tight as hell.

“Y-Yeojin, your mouth is tight as heck.”

Yeojin gagged in response.

Choerry began bucking, barely bothering to back off or brake, betting the bitch below would brave the barrage. Brewing in her balls, a big batch of baby batter was braced to bust… Boobs.

All of that was to say, Choerry was about to add to the mess on Yeojin’s side of the booth. Already, ejected spit was dripping down Yeojin’s side of the wall, and had drenched the front of Yeojin’s outfit. Not much of it had reached the bare wooden seat, given the astounding absorbency of Yeojin’s clothing, but the seat was still drenched. As one might recall, Yeojin’s panties were nowhere to be found, and her unused pussy and asshole leaked natural and unnatural lubrications respectively at a truly bonkers rate.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna come, Yeojin!”

Yeojin gagged in response. Really, it couldn’t be expected that she would do anything else. She had a big cock fully blocking off her entire esophagus. For posterity’s sake, what she would have said out loud was “For as excited as I am to have your load bloating my stomach, I am exasperated with your insistence on not using adult sexual terminology. Don’t say ‘come.’ Just say ‘cum.’ Say it with me. Cum. Cum. Cum. Fuck it, I’d even accept ‘climax,’ or something equally as romance novel-esque. You know what? Be clinical about it. Just say ‘ejaculate’ and—gag gargle gargle gargle gag gag gargle.” at which point, Yeojin would have become just drunk enough on her asphyxiation to stop thinking in so much detail.

The cum was not to come, however. The lock on Choerry’s side clicked open and she shrieked as she was pulled out. Yeojin’s throat was vacated in one, swift, barely splinter-avoidant motion. Immediately after, there was silence.

Until Yeojin's door flew open and she was yanked out of the booth!

Yeojin screamed, "Let me go, you goblin fuc—... goddammit Vivi! Who the fuck invited you?"

Yes, it was the worst, dumbest, and most pointless member of Loona, Vivi, who was the buzzkill. She was dressed up like some stupid collar-wearing priest. Or she was just making clergy look bad. It was hard to say.

"Yeojin! You can't have sex in a church! What are you thinking?"

"Boo you whore. Where's Choerry?"

Vivi shrugged. "She ran away as soon as she saw me. Real fast."

"Who wouldn't, you dumb bitch?"

"Ugh! Come with me, already."

"Why not? I have nothing better to do now that Choerry and her magnificent cock are gone."

~~~

Vivi has no scientific classification, as she is a bitch, and no scientist wants to be associated with her. But I guess she has to be in this documentary now that she's here, so we'll call her Stoopidiot Vivwhore or something. Honestly, nobody cares.

Well anyway, Vivwhore is taking Yawjinius to the church's office, but it feels like there's no more point to narrating here because Vivwhore ruins everyone's time. Really, I'm sorry she's even here.

I'll go get a stiff drink and come back a little drunk. Maybe then I can put up with her bullshi—Hey, it's Jinso—I mean Skinnierbutlongershlongius Jinsolitus! She's already completely stark-ass naked! And she's kicking Vivwhore out of the office! Excellent! Now we can continue this documentary in high spirits.

It looks like Jinsolitus is also interested in mating with Yawjinius. A dance of courtship begins. As we can see, this dance is quite frenzied. Yawjinius obviously wants to mate as well, having gone unfinished with Cherrinus, but she needs to test the fitness of her potential new mate. She can do this by... trying to escape?

Yawjinius wants to mate, I'm quite sure. Yes, she is merely testing Jinsolitus with a race in the very limited space of the church office, and making sure Jinsolitus is capable of dodging predators by throwing bibles at her. Ouch, that one looks like it hurt. And there goes Yawjinius, vaulting over the desk and toward—OH DAMN, did you see the way Jinsolitus caught her right out of the air and slammed her on the desk?! That looked unnecessarily painful! I guess that's what she gets for leaving some of her clothes on. I mean, that's a rough mating dance! Oh, and now she's pushing her dick down Yawjinius' throat.

~~~

The desk inched forward with every one of Jinsoul's violent thrusts.

"Fucking slut! That hurt!" Jinsoul shouted, referring to the reversed, red, hilariously accurate imprint of a "Holy Bible's" front cover on the side of her face.

Yeojin gagged in response. A few times. A bunch actually. It may not have really been an intentional response. Her throat wasn't massively stretched like it was when it had Choerry’s dick in it, but Jinsoul's felt like it was nearly battering the entrance to her stomach. Her response to Jinsoul might have actually been the way she clawed at Jinsoul's ass and kicked wildly in the air (hard to tell). Having her back slammed on a pastor's desk knocked the wind out of her, and it didn't make meaningful communication any easier. All this ignoring the huge cock blocking her vocal chords.

Jinsoul snatched Yeojin’s arms away fromher butt. "Bitch! Cut it out! Ugh!"

To immobilize Yeojin entirely, Jinsoul clambered onto her knees on top of the desk, pushing Yeojin down so her ass hung off the opposite side, and trapped Yeojin’s elbows in the crooks of her legs. This meant Jinsoul couldn't achieve the perfect angle on Yeojin’s head to insert herself entirely, but her dick was, as cannot be understated, fucking long as hell.

Yeojin heaved her lower body up in one last attempt at a kick to Jinsoul's face, but Jinsoul easily caught her feet and held her in place. Yeojin was thoroughly stuck, with her short skirt flipping down (or up, from her perspective) to expose her most vulnerable zone to Jinsoul. Talk about a mistake. Or a predicament. Or a... you know… definitely consensual upside-down throat fuck? Emphasis on that question mark.

"You're fucking mine, you little sex toy!" Jinsoul released a foot briefly to three-finger slap Yeojin's clitoris like a carnival hammer game with a defective button, and she clearly intended to win the biggest teddy bear.

If there were ever a scream that could be described as both muffled and blood-curdling, it was Yeojin's in that moment. Her fingers flexed uselessly in the air to either side of Jinsoul's hips.

Jinsoul shuddered and bounced her ass as hard as she could without accidentally releasing Yeojin’s arms. Her pussy dripped onto Yeojin’s nose, and the juice rolled down to mix with Yeojin’s flowing tears. "Yeah! Do that again! I love your vibration mode! Haha!"

Another full-force smack broke the bell at the tippy top of the game, splashing a surprising quantity of Yeojin’s underutilized pussy juice onto Jinsoul's face. Yeojin lost any control she had been trying to hold onto. Her burning lungs tried (and failed) to shove air out around Jinsoul's cock, only serving to increase Jinsoul's enjoyment. Her muscles also failed, and a stream of piss fired out of her, nearly straight up and back down in a short arc to soak her skirt, top, face, and Jinsoul's stomach. She didn't really register the taste as it reached Jinsoul's cock and was therefore shoved against her tongue. The desk was drenched. Expense papers, tithe reports, and even more bibles were saturated in slightly yellow liquid. It would be a genuinely gross shame for Yeojin to drown like that, which was not too far from happening.

It was a good thing Jinsoul was always a quick shot!

With one last bounce of her ass, Jinsoul sighed heavily and emptied herself almost directly into Yeojin’s stomach. She released Yeojin’s legs, letting them thump limply against the front of the desk, so she could squeeze her own tits and pinch her own nipples (probably since Yeojin’s were still hiding under a piss-soaked shirt).

Thirty or so belly-bloating seconds later, Jinsoul made the long, long, long, we-get-it-your-dick-is-very long slide out of Yeojin’s mouth. Seriously, that was like a half a meter of cock. Or it just seemed to be that big in comparison to tiny little Yeojin.

The last few centimeters allowed Yeojin’s airways to open up. She gasped and coughed and frantically thrashed around, slapping Jinsoul's legs. Puddles of her piss on the desk spread around as she hacked up her lungs.

"You insane fuckwad—hurk—shitfish!" She managed to scream between coughs. "You wanna fuckin' KILL ME?!"

Jinsoul stood on the desk, feet on either side of Yeojin’s head, wiggling her toes in the piss puddles. "Well like sometimes, yeah," she said, deadpan, "Hey, you're covered in pee."

"Bitch, I fucking know!"

~~~

Wow. What a turn of events that couldn’t have been predicted.

Hey look, now Jinsolitus is urinating on Yawjinius. That's a post-mating ritual, despite having not mated properly. Yes it was, as is Yawjinius repeatedly punching Jinsolitus in the dick. Oh, don't worry, nobody’s getting hurt. We can hope. I mean definitely not. Trust me, I’m a biologist*.

Poor Yawjinius. It seems that Jinsolitus is not simply a mate, but a predator in disguise, like one of those various invertebrates that engages in breeding and then immediately eats their mate. Though, in this particular situation, no breeding occurred, even if Yawjinius does appear to be a little bit bloated. And also in this particular situation, Jinsolitus is probably not going to eat her, if for no other reason than eating someone covered in mixed piss would be nasty. Eating each other isn’t really a thing in this ecosystem, actually.

If Yawjinius now wants to continue her day of faux mating, but not fornicating because they’re still in a church, she must now decide if she will attempt to further engage Jinsolitus, or leave unsatisfied.

~~~

Yeojin flicked the runny fluids off her eyelashes and glared at Jinsoul. “If I wasn’t so horny, I’d tell you to leave… but are you going to fuck my ass now or not?”

“I believe we’d both have to leave, considering we don’t own this place,” Jinsoul said with a shrug, “But, uh, no. I’m going to rail your mouth agai—”

The office door slammed open.

Vivi stepped into the office, pointing accusingly at Yeojin. “There she is! The demon possessed!”

Yeojin and Jinsoul stared back. Jinsoul was the first to speak. “You gonna finish that sentence?”

Vivi’s stupid hand faltered. “H-huh?”

“You said… ugh.” Jinsoul put her fingers to her forehead. “The demon possessed who? Yeojin?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you such a moron, Vivi? Why are you even here?”

Rather than engage in the conversation, Yeojin started fingering her ass. She was really missing Choerry’s contribution to her pleasure.

“I-I’m not! I brought some exorcists with me so they can expel the demon.”

On cue, Heejin and Haseul walked through the door behind Vivi. Though, to her surprise (and let’s face it: everything surprises someone that dumb), both of them were entirely naked and stroking their cocks.

“Are we… in the right place?” Heejin asked, looking concerned.

“Yuuup yup!” Haseul chimed, biting her lip for a moment and doing double finger guns at Yeojin. “Gonna push that demon out her mouth from the opposite end!”

~~~

Collosollacockium Heejineulum and Gargantuagockus Hahsullicus are not, in fact, exorcists. Both of them, however, are hung (in the sense that their dicks are relatively close to Cherrinus’ length and girth, that is).

With Jinsolitus now chasing Vivwhore out of the office for a second time, perhaps Yawjinius now has the opportunity to properly mate. But there are two potential mates for her to choose from! Both appear to be physically fit, capable, and good for passing on desirable qualities to their offspring. Perhaps a contest is in order to determine which of the two will continue their genetic—Wait, right. They're just here to fuck her ass. Breeding would imply vaginal intercourse, but they can't do that because they're in a church. What a silly mistake for a very professional biologist* to make.

Either way, they still need to determine who gets to do the honors. "The honors" being Yawjinius' butthole. Let's observe and see how they—Or Hahsullicus can just force Heejineulum to go first. Well, I guess they're going for it. Let's continue to watch.

~~~

Yeojin was on her side on the desk, with Heejin spooning her. Heejin was grimacing, biting down on her lips.

“The fuck’s wrong with you, Heejin?” Yeojin asked.

“… It’s in my hair…”

“What is? The piss? No duh, Herlock. That’ll happen when you lie down in it.”

“Haseul pushed me… Why are we doing this here?”

“She pushed me too. Whatcha gonna do about it? The correct answer is ‘fuck your ass.’”

Haseul, standing between their legs, laughed, “Oooh, it’s not so bad Heejin. See?” She picked up one of the piss-saturated bibles and licked the cover. Heejin looked like she might puke, but Haseul smacked her lips a couple of times, trying to pick up on the taste. “Huh… is that yours or Jinsoul’s?”

Yeojin scowled. “Probably both. Can we just…?”

“Oh totally,” Haseul said and gave the book another lick before tossing it over her shoulder and dropping to her knees.

A moment later, Yeojin felt a hand spreading her asshole from one side, and Heejin’s eyes shot open. A quiet slurping sound gave Yeojin the impression that Haseul was licking or sucking Heejin’s dick.

One more moment later, Heejin’s cock was pushed up against Yeojin’s half-spread hole and shoved in. “Aw yeah, that works,” Yeojin moaned in delight. “E-ew, fuck,” Heejin moaned in also-delight-but-still-also-disgust.

Heejin’s thrusts were long and slow, but always ended with a quick pound, rippling her thighs and Yeojin’s butt. Each one spiked Yeojin’s head with sexual power. She might have been a little turned off to see the way Heejin nervously avoided touching as many wet surfaces as possible, including herself, but that’s what’s so great about the spooning position!

Haseul strolled around the desk, pushing pens, papers, and crucifixes off to clatter and/or shlop to the floor. Her focus remained on her members though, watching the way they (mostly Yeojin) writhed on the soaked surface.

“Fuck, Yeojin,” Heejin breathed. It seemed that was all she could manage to say, but Yeojin knew the implication: Her asshole was tight, it milked Heejin’s whole cock, and it needed to be painted with cum. The usual, really. She reached back to sensually cradle Heejin’s head, unable to see Heejin cringing away from her wet hand.

Haseul, on the other hand, she could see, climbing onto the desk on her hands and knees before dropping down, brushing her tits through the remaining puddles. She lifted Yeojin’s head a bit awkwardly to the side. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

Yeojin did as she was told, and Haseul kissed her deeply. However, “kiss” in this case meant “tongue fuck” and “deeply” in this case meant that Haseul was licking parts of her that are far enough in the body as to have no slang words to describe them. Under most circumstances, it could have been quite uncomfortable, but with Heejin’s colossal cock pumping her ass and the surprising tenderness that Haseul tongue fucked her with, Yeojin found herself literally gushing.

“I think I can taste a liiittle bit of Jinsoul’s cum in there,” Haseul said after who-knows-how-many minutes of licking the entire interior of Yeojin’s mouth.

Perfectly on cue, Yeojin burped, filling her mouth with the smell of the gallon of fish jizz sloshing around her stomach. “Yup.”

“That and, ya’ know, the pee.”

A loud “hurk” came from behind Yeojin, and Haseul giggled. “Aw, Heejin! Are you okay?”

“Sorry… That’s just… nasty.” Heejin slowed down her thrusting considerably.

Yeojin rolled her eyes and twisted her upper body so she could personally deliver a look of boredom and disappointment.

With a devious smirk, Haseul slinked off the desk and around so she could lean over Heejin’s head. “You poor baby. I promise it’s not so bad! I’ll tell you what. If you make out with our little froggy while you fuck her, I’ll rewaaard you—”

Yeojin couldn’t hear most of what Haseul then whispered in Heejin’s ear, but Heejin’s expression shifted from consternation to surprise, and from surprise to desperation. Whatever the reward was, it was good, and it ended with Haseul pulling away, but reaching down to swirl a finger around Heejin’s nipple. “And when we get home, I’ll give you a nice…” She lightly pinched, forcing Heejin to moan. “Hot… looong… bath.”

Yeojin watched a sudden hunger overtake Heejin’s eyes, and had no time to react to the pounce. Heejin’s tongue was battling hers in a fraction of a second, and her thrusts into Yeojin’s asshole turned feral. Yeojin was definitely not complaining.

The ferocity of Heejin’s fucking distracted Yeojin from whatever Haseul was doing. There was only a split second, when Heejin backed off to gasp desperately at some new sensation, that Yeojin saw Haseul, one hand hidden behind Heejin’s lovely hips, and the other pointing her cock roughly at the place where Heejin’s cock met Yeojin’s ass. Alarms fired in her brain, but she couldn’t raise a finger to protest as Heejin wrapped her in a sloppy, moist bear hug.

As expected, a slight pressure at the rim of Yeojin’s butt turned into an unimaginable stretch, shoved in deeper by Heejin’s cock. A shock of adrenaline ran through her entire body and time slowed down. Haseul was pushing Yeojin’s legs out of the way and slamming into her asshole alongside Heejin, but totally out of sync. Her movements were smoother than Heejin’s, and far deeper considering her more advantageous position. Yeojin screamed into Heejin’s mouth, but nobody checked to see if the scream came from pain or pleasure (it was pleasure).

After an eternity, Heejin loosened her constriction, and Yeojin didn't know what to do with her hands. She flapped them around, covered the parts of her face not overwhelmed by Heejin, grabbed her own tits under her shirt, held her knees back, pulled her hair, groped at Haseul, latched onto Heejin’s arm, and punched the air in rapid succession over and over and not necessarily in that order. Her expression changed just as fast between agony, ecstasy, and anything else that might indicate she was losing her mind to the double anal fucking. And when Heejin separated their faces for air, Yeojin struggled to say more than one repeated word.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fu—ungh! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. AaaAAAH! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

“Mommy…” Heejin moaned, looking up at Haseul, “Your cock feels so good squeezed against mine.”

Haseul smiled. “And your butt looks so cute with my finger in it, baby girl.”

“Dear god,” Yeojin managed to mumble, ignoring the awkward, sexually charged lovey doviness.

~~~

That double penetration went so much more smoothly than I ever could have anticipated, sheesh. I—Well I’m not god, but what can I do for you?

“I’d do anything for one more cock right now.”

Hold up. What are you doing, Yawjinius?

“The fuck do you mean?”

I mean how are you talking to me right now?

“You’re here and so am I, fuckwit. Do I get another cock in my ass or not?”

Now hang on there. You’re currently being fucked in a church office.

“How would you know that if you’re not god? And by the way I think it’s called a ‘sacristy.’”

Nobody knows what a sacristy is! When you say “office” a very similar image is conjured in the mind to what a sacristy looks like! Not to mention, “office” is far more non-denominational, and far less likely to cause anybody specific to get offende—I… what… dear viewer, I’m sorry for this, uh… technical difficulty? Yes, a perfectly normal technical difficulty that documentaries often experience.

“Viewer? You got cameras around here?”

No, no. Nothing so crude. I think “viewer” was the wrong term. I should have said “reader.”

“Well that’s a fuckin’ shame. I was hoping to get a recording of this.”

~~~

“Is… Yeojin okay?” Heejin asked.

“Thaaat’s a good question. Can you tell what she’s saying?”

Yeojin’s muttering was nearly inaudible.

“I think she implied she was talking to god…”

“Oh. Yiiikes.”

“Should we… stop fucking her? Give her a break? A different kind, I mean… since her mind is clearly fucked up.”

“Nah, she’s fine.”

~~~

“Whatever, god. Are you going to answer my prayer or not?”

To reiterate, not god. There will be no prayer answering.

“I don’t care what you fucking call it. Grant my wish. Make my dream come true. Third cock, chop chop. Make it snappy.”

…

“Are you trying to IGNORE me?!”

Members of the order Loonatoris prefer to nest in groups—

“HEY! Perk them ears up, home slice!”

Here, they’re well-protected, and they can mate endlessly in the colorful shadows cast by panes of stained glass—

“Fuck your stained glass! Heejin and Haseul’s dicks are great, but I want more!”

Could you get off my back? Maybe I can’t just make a third penis randomly appear. Did you consider that?

“Yeah right. I believe in you. You got this, god.”

Oh my… Look, Jinsoul’s out there somewhere. Just go find her.

“Pff, nah. She only wants to fuck my mouth.”

Vivi then.

“Ew, no.”

Good point. Nobody wants that. Well what about Choerry?

“Look. I’m far too busy getting double ass-railed to go traipsing around searching for that weirdo. Can’t you just call someone for me?”

I can’t call anyon—You know what? Fine. Fuck it. Oh wow. Another fascinating creature is on her way into the church right now who might want to mate with Yawjinius. Are you happy now?

“That sounded very sarcastic, but yes. What the hell is ‘Yawjinius’ though?”

It’s obviously you. It’s your scientific classification.

“Weird, but okay. Thanks god. I owe you one.”

Not god.

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

Unbelievable… Alright, where were we? Yes, Hahsullicus and Heejineulum have lifted Yawjinius off the desk and into their arms and they’re carrying her back out into the chapel. Did you catch why they decided to do that? I was super distracted. Oh well, doesn’t matter. They’re, uh, taking her out into the open to… dammit, I’m going to go get that drink. I’ll come back for the science stuff in a minute.

~~~

“Phew!” Heejin wiped her forehead as she laid Yeojin back on the lectern and glared at Haseul. “She is so much heavier than she looks… Two people should be able to lift her, like, twice as easily as that…”

“Huh?” asked Haseul, who hadn’t broken a sweat. “Oh! Oooh yeah. What’s she been eating? Raw iron?”

Yeojin gasped and sat up, sliding a couple centimeters down the pair’s dicks. All three of them moaned a little.

Haseul recovered first. “Heeey, Yeojin! Finally awake?”

“Wh-what? What happened?”

“Oh honeeey,” Haseul cooed, and stroked Yeojin’s hair, “You started speaking in tongues to someone who wasn’t there.”

Heejin cut in. “Then you started cumming, but it was like… a super long orgasm. After a minute, you just passed out.”

“And so you carried me into the most fucking obviously visible part of the church without even taking your cocks out of my asshole? Just right out in the open where anyone could catch us?”

“Yyyup,” said Haseul, “Guess we could have thought that through a little better.”

Yeojin squinted. “What the fuck are you talking about? That’s exactly what I would have done too.”

Heejin shivered. Droplets of piss fell out of her hair and onto the chancel. “We could have at least looked around for some towels.”

“Just use that.” Haseul pointed at the altar, over which was a very soft-looking cloth.

“But there’s… candles and shit on it.”

“Nobody cares that you’re soaked in pee,” Yeojin said, poking Heejin in the boob, “We’re all soaked in pee. Blame Jinsoul. She’s a bitch.”

Haseul sighed, leaning against the lectern. “Awww, but I didn’t get soaked in—”

“That’s your own damn fault,” Yeojin interrupted, “Now help me find the third cock I made god promise me.”

Heejin and Haseul stared at each other for at least ten seconds. Haseul was the first to start pulling her dick out of Yeojin. “Maaaybe we should go home. Or a hospit—Ow!”

Yeojin grabbed and dug her nails into Haseul’s hips and held her in place. “No, let’s wait. God promised.”

Heejin fidgeted with her fingers. “Yeojin… I don’t think he promised you anything…”

“God wasn’t a ‘he,’ bitch.”

“Sorry…? She?”

“No, no. You shouldn’t make assumptions about god’s gende—”

Just then, the front doors to the church burst open, flooding the chapel with light. A single silhouette of a fairly curvy body with a massive schlong hanging between its legs stood in the doorway, striking a powerful stance. The doors then slowly shut, creaking loudly, but the figure shoved them apart again and took several steps forward. Once the intense backlight was gone, it was apparent who the newcomer was.

Yeojin said it first, whispering the name, “Enormustothepointofabsurditinicumphallussis Hiyunjicum…”

“What?” Heejin and Haseul said simultaneously.

~~~

Alright, I’m back. Nothing weird better have happ—How does she know Hyunjin’s scientific classification?!

~~~

All eyes (six of them, to be specific, since her own are not included) were on Hyunjin. She looked from side to side and shifted uncomfortably. “Why is everyone looking at me?”

Haseul was the first to speak. “Yeojin’s prayer was answered!”

“I didn’t pray though, apparently” Yeojin said. Her voice sounded a little wet from the drool, “But Hyunjin is a literal gift from god. Hyunjin! Get up here!”

“Why?!” Hyunjin shouted back across the church, “You sound like a crazy person!”

Heejin snickered. “That’s nothing new.”

“I want you to fuck my ass at the same time as Haseul and Heejin!”

“Okay! My mistake! You sound like an insane person!”

“You just walked into a church totally naked!” Yeojin screamed, “Who the fuck is the crazy person here?!”

“I just watched Haseul and Heejin do it a minute ago and I’m sixty percent sure nobody saw me! I’m just doing what they’re doing!”

“What does it look like they’re doing right now?!”

There was a long pause. Echoes from the shouting match finally died down.

“That’s some solid logic!” Hyunjin shouted, “I’ll be right there!”

“So… what exactly are we doing now?” Heejin asked.

Yeojin shrugged. “I thought it was pretty simple. The two of you keep fucking me, and Hyunjin fucks me too.”

Haseul briefly attempted to reason things out. “I think she meant—Weeell,” and she quickly gave up, “Aaalright. Heejin, grab my shoulder with that hand… Yup, perfect, and now we each lift one of her legs.”

Heejin watched Haseul suspiciously to make sure she was doing her part as they hoisted Yeojin up into a throne made of their arms and dicks. The jostling and unintentional thrusting made Yeojin close her eyes and whine. She was getting antsy about the impending triple penetration. She wouldn’t have to wait long… as long as no more odd interruptions occurred.

When Yeojin opened her eyes, she lurched back in shock. Hyunjin was already directly in front of her like some kind of perverted, holy ghost (not even in an offensive way if you note the placement of the comma).

“Are you ready Yeojin?” Hyunjin asked, with her cock already poised between Heejin’s and Haseul’s.

Yeojin looked down. There were a few dicks among all idols that were known for being exceptionally large. Karina’s, Shownu’s, Johnny’s, Handong’s, and a few others’. Hyunjin’s was a secret contender, only having been unleashed upon someone outside of Loona for the first time within the last year. Luda had advised that “my pussy will never be the same,” shortly after the second to last Queendom episode’s recording, and had walked with a limp until the day before their final performance.

Every other member of Loona, including Yeojin, had their experience with Hyunjin, and were highly unlikely to be rendered catatonic. Yeojin was, however, having her doubts. Two well above average dicks were already enough to get her to meet god but a third? And Hyunjin’s humongous hammer, to be specific? She was likely to meet Chuuthulhu.

~~~

To reiterate, not god. Not an elder god either.

~~~

And yet, Yeojin absolutely could not say no. She nodded once, and her asshole was swiftly stretched out to an incomprehensible degree. She hung her head back in a silent scream of theorized-and-yet-surprising ecstasy. Surely nothing could fill her ass more than these three cocks. That is not foreshadowing. Seriously, nothing could fill her ass more than those three cocks in that moment. Nobody else was going to fit, logistically, in the space around Yeojin, to be able to put another cock in her ass. Her throat, perhaps, if one were to stand on someone else’s shoulders, but certainly not her ass. The three cocks in her were overall the volumetrically largest available. Nobody was going to leave the church to get Karina, for example, to replace one of the cocks currently in place just to increase the amount of cock filling Yeojin’s asshole. This story is dumb enough. One should not expect more people to randomly appear and take part in this anal gangbang. The cover for this story has already been made and while it was made with minimal effort, no more effort needs to be put into it. Even if they really got in close to each other like they were trying to take a group selfie, not a single additional person could possibly get where they needed to be to insert themselves to be the fourth cock inside Yeojin. No, you’re convincing yourself.

Heejin whined, writhed, and struggled to stay in place as Hyunjin slowly sawed in and out. Haseul grinned, bit her lip, and giggled. Hyunjin herself stared hungrily at Yeojin’s wet tube top-covered tits.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Haseul asked, dropping a hand to grope Heejin’s ass.

Heejin’s response was to first say, “M-mommy, she’s smushing our dicks together so tight,” and second to immediately lean over to kiss Haseul.

Haseul sweetly returned the kiss and crooned lovingly.

“Stating the obvious during sex is so weird…” Hyunjin murmured before speeding up her thrusts.

All of the women moaned in a four-part chorus of chaos and disharmony, nearly drowning out the sloppy noise of lube slipping around everybody’s dicks and the more subtle sound of the fish jizz in Yeojin’s stomach being sloshed around.

Yeojin’s legs flopped up and down by Hyunjin’s sides like excessive ragdoll physics. She was no longer an active participant (not that she had been for the last several encounters), merely allowing the lust and unblinking enthusiasm of mostly Hyunjin to move her as needed to bring them all ever closer to paradisiacal simultaneous orgasm.

The simultaneous part didn’t include Yeojin. She was already cumming, hard and repeatedly, so fast and frequently as to have resembled a genuine medical emergency…

~~~

“Yo, god.”

Dammit, not god! Now what?!

“Came back to say thanks. I figured I sounded a little ungrateful before, so… thanks for the third cock.”

Honestly I had nothing to do with—Actually, you’re welcome. Can we go back to what we were doing now, separately?

“Yeah. Just one question though. This three cocks in my ass thing is kind of the greatest thing of all time, and in my head I described it a moment ago as ‘so good I’m gonna fucking die.’ Am I about to fucking die?”

How should I know?

“I would assume you’d know, being g—I mean a documentary narrator.”

Hm. I suppose there have been one or two moments in the last few minutes in which your potential demise has been mentioned, and there could be a whole circle of life narrative in here.

“Wow. Fucked right to death. That’s pretty metal.”

Ferrous indeed, but no. I’d say you’re fine.

“Living would probably be the ideal outcome. I’m gonna have to experience this triple penetration again, for sure… Damn, I’m such a fucking slut.”

I believe Jinsolitus used the term sex toy.

“Haha, alright that works. You’re cool, god. You know that?”

Definitely not.

“Not cool? What a nerd.”

No, I mean god. Not god, you scoundrel.

“I’m gonna call someone at Second Ring to tell them to name a fleshlight that looks like me ‘Scoundrel.’”

Sure. Okay… Ah, the circle of life. And by that I mean nobody is dying and everybody is having a great time fucking Yeojin’s ass or occasionally her mouth. Her ass is the circle, though somewhat triangular at the moment, and she is feeling extra alive. Ergo: circle of life.

~~~

Heejin halted her kiss with Haseul. “Hey, I’m going to cum soon… Where should—”

“Wow, me too,” interrupted Hyunjin.

“Inside me! Inside!” Yeojin screamed, her lack of volume control now a consequence of her five dozenth orgasm.

Heejin squinted at Hyunjin as they both continued to bounce Yeojin up and down between them. “It hasn’t been that long. You’re cumming already?”

“Hey, some people just jizz sooner than others,” Jinsoul said.

Everybody except Yeojin looked down. Jinsoul was sitting on the floor behind Haseul, and was pushing a very large metal cup into the center of the gangbang.

Hyunjin glanced side to side, not at anybody in particular. “Are we doing a countdown or something?”

Haseul stroked Hyunjin’s arm. “You can cum aaany time you would like. I would love to feel your batter covering my cock and Heejin’s, packing this little froggy sooo full of—”

A squeak from Heejin distracted Haseul from continuing, “Yes… mommy!”

The first and likely smallest load was pumped out of Heejin and into the very cramped interior of Yeojin’s butt. Liquid also came out of Yeojin’s mouth, but it was drool. The hot, sticky, not-piss filled every bit of space it could reach before some had to be ejected down and out from between the three dicks and into Jinsoul’s big cup. The cup is probably foreshadowing.

With that, Heejin triggered Hyunjin’s orgasm, and Haseul figured she might as well cum too. Their combined semen blasted out of every nook and gap. Yeojin’s orgasms continued throughout, overloading her mind. Her tongue fell out of her mouth and her eyes rolled. Being fucked silly was kind of one of her hallmarks, but being fucked silly into endless orgasms on three dicks at once was a nice departure from the norm (the norm was generally one to three orgasms).

Hyunjin was the first to pull out of Yeojin, her dick being followed by a massive spurt of semen before Yeojin’s ass closed up again. She wasn’t quite gaped enough to let everything out while still plugged up with two more cocks. When Haseul and Heejin pulled out at the same time though, an absolute torrent of cum overfilled Jinsoul’s big cup thing and pooled all over the floor around it, quickly covering everyone’s feet.

Jinsoul picked up the cup. “Yeah, this will do nicely.”

Stumbling back (and thus revealing she wasn’t doing anything to help hold Yeojin up), Haseul looked Jinsoul up and down. “Yooou’re not planning on forcing Yeojin to drink all of that are you? Also where’d you get that?”

“Trust me. If you weren’t here to stop me, I’d be forcing this shit down Yeojin’s face with a funnel and a leaf blower. But as it stands I have other plans. And this old thing? It was in a corner somewhere with a plaque that said ‘holy water.’ Didn’t seem important so I dumped it.”

Hyunjin took Haseul’s step away as her cue to do the same, and dropped Yeojin’s legs, ceremoniously because they were in a church but no different from how she’d drop Yeojin normally. Heejin may have been strong, but the sudden gravitational force broke her grip. Yeojin flopped onto the floor, barely conscious, pouring jizz from her ass, and laying in a lake of it.

As the only one with any shame in the church, apparently, Heejin blushed. “Sorry… she slipped.”

Haseul shrugged. “She’s alright. She even managed to get this far without a drop of cum on her face.”

“Except,” Jinsoul noted, “I came in her face, and pissed on it.”

Hyunjin scowled. “Wait, is that why she was all wet?”

“Yes. She also pissed on herself,” Jinsoul stated.

“Oh…” Hyunjin started to walk away.

Yeojin’s eyes fluttered open. “Fuck… Am I still alive?”

Haseul knelt down in the lake of cum and patted Yeojin’s forehead. “You sure are! Aaand you’re a fantastic, field-tested triple cock sleeve!”

Yeojin sat up, jizz dripping off of her back and hair. As soon as she turned around, rapid footsteps approached, and suddenly Choerry dropped to her knees next to Haseul, furiously jerking herself off.

“I’m arriving, Yeojin! Please take my white stuff!”

Nobody had a good reaction for Choerry’s arrival, or for her arrival. Copious quarts of cum coated her quarry’s countenance, completely covering Yeojin, cranium to clitoris.

Yeojin wiped globs of cum off of her eyes. “Where the fuck did you run off to, Choerry?”

Choerry twitched as her orgasm died down. “Well I kind of hid in the rafters, and then behind that thing.” She pointed at the altar.

Haseul laughed. “Well, at least one specific person got lost and hasn’t showed up again.”

Jinsoul hopped off the chancel and past the knocked-over pew. “Not exactly.”

“What’s that mean?” Heejin asked as she helped Yeojin to her feet with no small amount of difficulty as they both slipped a bit here and there. Everybody made their way toward the exit, moving a bit slowly for Yeojin’s benefit, leaving a trail of jizztastic gooeyness.

Against the far wall, everybody saw what Jinsoul was talking about and collectively groaned in disgust because it was that bitch whore stupid bitch Vivi. She was upside down, shoulders on the floor, back against the wall, and legs hanging down next to her head. Her priest outfit was quite disheveled and missing the pants at first glance, but at second glance it was clear that her pants had been used to tie her arms behind her back and to a curtain’s bottom pole.

“Ugh,” Yeojin moaned, “You didn’t just kick her all the way out?”

Jinsoul put a hand up. “Calm down yall. It’s not like I fucked her. Besides, this way we can go home without having to deal with her shit.” She hefted the holy water (or rather, holy cum) basin a little higher. “And also…”

Vivi looked desperately at the other members for help and tried to say something. That’s when everybody noticed her priest’s collar had been detached from where it had been and shoved into her mouth as a makeshift gag. And what a gag it was! Nobody needed to hear that dumb whore’s voice.

With a grunt, Jinsoul tossed the contents of the basin onto Vivi, drenching her in mixed cum and all the shame a terrible person like her deserves.

~~~

And so, Churgirleum Yawjinius and her friends, not including Vivwhore, stepped out of the church’s front doors, into the beautiful light of spring midday, enjoying a hearty laugh.

Yes, spring. The leaf canopy is getting denser as creatures play beneath. The shade provided will be important, as summer creeps ever closer.

For now, though, the clean, crisp air revitalizes all. The occasional light rain shower washes away any of the grime left from winter, and memories of the cold are long gone.

I think we’ve all discovered some new kinks here today, haven’t we, dear viewers? I’ll leave you with this fact, definitely about nature: Art is pointless. Exuberant and wonderful, but pointless. We say that we may be advanced by art and yet it does no such thing. We, nevertheless, are defined by our art, as are swaths of time. Pointless, art may be, but it is necessary.

Documentary fuckin’ accomplished.

~~~

*The narrator is not a biologist. You better fucking not be reading this footnote mid-story. Get back up there and finish reading the actual fic, dweeb!

[morlock-holmes]

Richard Hanania is still bugging me.

He is a right-wing intellectual who recently wrote a book called "The Origins of Woke: Civil Rights Law, Corporate America, and the Triumph of Identity Politics".

The Amazon blurb says,

"For those angry about wokeness and what it has done to American institutions, this book offers concrete suggestions regarding policies that can move us back to being a country that emphasizes merit, individual liberty, and color-blind governance."

Anyway, in August of 2023, the Huffington Post broke the story that in the teens, he wrote online under the pen name "Richard Host"

Richard Hanania, a visiting scholar at the University of Texas, used the pen name “Richard Hoste” in the early 2010s to write articles where he identified himself as a “race realist.” He expressed support for eugenics and the forced sterilization of “low IQ” people, who he argued were most often Black. He opposed “miscegenation” and “race-mixing.” And once, while arguing that Black people cannot govern themselves, he cited the neo-Nazi author of “The Turner Diaries,” the infamous novel that celebrates a future race war.

Hanania has admitted that the Huffpost story is correct.

Even five years ago, the media could set the narrative, tell people what was important, and how they should react to any particular story. We appear to be moving past the worst of the cancellation trend. Most outside of a certain echo chamber realize this kind of reporting is contemptible. The goal is not to engage with ideas, but to simply silence a person and remove them from polite company. To not have to discuss their ideas on account of other ideas they put forward at a different time of their life and which they may no longer even believe in.

Man, good thing cancel culture has been rejected, so that saying,

“We’ve known for a while through neuroscience and cross-adoption studies... that individuals differ in their inherent capabilities. The races do, too, with whites and Asians on the top and blacks at the bottom,” Hoste wrote in the 2010 essay, titled “Why An Alternative Right Is Necessary.” “If the races are equal,” Hoste wrote, “why do whites always end up near the top and blacks at the bottom, everywhere and always?”

Is absolutely no obstacle to becoming a respected scholar of civil rights.

Wait a second... I'm not sure we've landed at the correct equilibrium.

Hanania is not a guy who makes TikTok videos about fancy cakes but said some unrelated objectionable things 15 years ago.

He is an author and the founder of a right-wing think tank who hopes to, and probably does, have significant influence on the direction of conservative ideas about civil rights law. His views on civil rights are directly related to his job.

Especially if, like, he was just actively lying to people about how he came to his conclusions as recently as may of this year

Here's an excerpt from a speech Hanania gave to the Yale Federalist Society on April 3 of 2023:

I’m glad to be here talking about woke institutions and civil rights law. I have to say, I was ahead of the curve on this issue. It’s something I’ve been thinking about since I was in law school. I graduated from the University of Chicago in 2013, and my 1L summer I worked for an organization called the Center for Individual Rights, which argued the Gratz and Grutter cases. And I learned a lot while working there about how government forces institutions to be conscious of race and sex. So, for the last decade, from 2011 on, as I was doing other things in life, I would talk to people about all these things government did to discriminate against whites and men, remove standards, get rid of standardized tests, etc. And one reason I was so passionate about this is that a lot of the fixes did not require legislation. Executive orders and judicial decisions are enough. But the Trump administration came and went, the Supreme Court got more conservative, and still nobody was listening to me. So finally I started writing on this topic myself, and now that I’m writing for the public instead of just trying to convince people one-on-one, I’m getting a better return on my efforts. Another reason what I’ve been arguing has caught on is that we saw the transformation in how institutions talk about race- and sex-related issues over the last decade. A lot of people are looking for answers. Who are these diversity bureaucrats saying all these crazy things? How did we end up with so many of them and where did they come from? And all this stuff that was more latent, of interest to legal nerds only in 2011, became much more part of the culture.

In 2010 Hanania wrote:

“The biggest enemies of the Black Man are not Klansmen or multinational corporations, but the liberals who have prevented an honest appraisal of his abilities and filled his head with myths about equality and national autarky,”

I'm not just trying to gratuitously point out how awful the things Hanania said were: I am pointing out that he just lied, blatantly, about the very field he is supposed to be an expert in.

And that's not something that happened years ago when he was just a law student, that's something he did this year.

Hanania knows that this stuff was not "latent, of interest only to legal nerds" back in 2011, because by then he had already spent years embedded in a subculture that was deeply concerned about this kind of thing. Nor, for that matter, was he simply, "trying to convince people one-on-one". He was writing under a pseudonym for numerous far-right websites.

And honestly, at this point the question is just "How much of this speech is a lie" but if less of it is a lie, than it looks way worse for Hanania.

When he joined the Center for Individual Rights he wasn't 15 years out from writing all that racist stuff, he was 3 years out. How much of it did he still believe? When he was an active racist back in law school, was he still planning on joining the Center for Individual Rights?

If the answer is yes, and the actions of a blatant racist and the "classical liberal" he has now become are essentially identical, then, uh, I'm sorry, but that seems like the kind of thing that might be a pretty important part of the story of wokeness.

If the answer is "No" then, well, we're still left with the fact that he just blatantly lied about how and why he reached his current conclusions. This story of someone who had a vague, wonkish interest in something obscure but just had to speak up when he realized it was getting out of control in the teens is an utter lie.

This is a man who has told very self-serving lies about how and why he has reached the conclusions that he has, lies that are designed to leave out crucial parts of any honest appraisal of wokeness, and who kept telling those lies until he was unable to get away with it, up to this year.

I think his willingness to lie about his own supposed field of expertise in order to sell books is pretty damning in itself, and that didn't happen 15 years ago, that happened this year.