#is connor ever in a car? stuff to think about i guess

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

So, Caroline isn't a mom that cooks which is its own, whole point of discussion (hello summer of competative EDs) but, keeping with the rigid expectations of their respective genders, I would argue:

Logan was not a dad who drives.

And I shit you not, I got thinking about this after catching an old How I Met Your Mother episode on TV, where they go on this side tangent about feeling safe as a child when your father was driving at night. I get that feeling still (though it is with my other parent), so it might be relatable to quite a few other people as well.

BUT anytime Logan Roy is in a car he is

a) next to his children on the backseat, because they are "being driven" aka the safety is outsourced to someone doing it for money and

b) inspiring mostly terror: making Kendall come to the waiter's family with him and giving him that whole speech, confronting Roman about the punch that didn't happen without giving him a chance to leave the situation, dragging Shiv deeper into Waystar and away from herself (an image that is paralleled by Tom in the end)

Also, I'm trying to come up with times the Roys are in the literal drivers seat and the three that stand out are obviously Kendall's accident as the very opposite of safety and responsibility, Kendall asking for a motorcycle and being given one with a driver (lol), AND Roman picking up Kendall in Austerlitz which might actually be the only positive example, because it is motivated by wanting to help out despite it possibly fucking with a business call + it happens at night (which accidentally aligns perfectly with the himym thing)

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Baby Listening To Screamo

A/N: I love screamo music, especially female screamo. I feel like Baby Roy would, too, just like blasting it in their headphones/room/any car they're in, lol. I think it would definitely be jarring for their siblings to say the least 😂 Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Connor can't believe what he's listening to. Is this what's considered music these days? You turn it up as loud as possible, screaming along. He doesn't want to be rude, but he absolutely fucking hates it. He very kindly suggests maybe you should put on your headphones instead, but you're not understanding what he means. It isn't until a few weeks later when you're blasting it through the apartment do you realize he's cringing. He questions why you like, what you like about it, if there's anything to like at all. You just shrug. It scratches an itch in your brain. It feels good to be angry, to scream. He doesn't like a swearing or any of the sexual innuendos either. He doesn't think you should be listening to any of this despite being a grown adult capable of your own decisions. He thinks Logan should be monitoring this, but you remind him it's just music. That's all. Nothing to get worked up about, definitely not something to drag your father into.

Kendall thinks it's hilarious. He's not sure how or when you got into screamo, but it's great. Fitting, really. No one would ever expect it. The first time he hears it and sees how much joy it brings you, he can't stop smiling. Surely every time you're in your room and blasting it you're slowly killing your father. It blasts through the walls of the apartment, annoying the hell out of Logan. He orders you to turn it down, but there's no way you can hear him. Kendall can't help but smile. Out of all of you, you definitely give Logan the hardest time. He's older now, not as scary as when him and the others were kids. He definitely asks what you're listening to, what artists you like, just to see the joy spread across your expression when you talk. From what he heard from Connor, he thought it was like, devil-worshiping-satanist music. This stuff is harmless, just angry. Everyone feels angry. You need to get it out somehow. This is far better than any coping mechanism he has.

Shiv doesn't consider it music at all. She doesn't consider what Kendall listens to as music either, so it's nothing personal. She doesn't stop you from listening to it or tattles on you to Logan like Connor would, but you definitely know to use headphones around her. When you don't have them, you have no choice but to play it out loud. When you share a car she pretends she doesn't hear it, though you swear you see her mumbling along to it. Tom hates it. He's constantly turning it down, and then you turn it up, and then you argue. Regardless of how she feels, she always takes your side. She doesn't understand what's so appealing about it, why you like it, or how the hell you get away with it with your father around, but she's not going to stop you. You've had a mind of your own since you could talk. No one was going to forbid you from doing anything you wanted, especially listening to your music. It's not her taste, but she admit's some of very specific songs are a teensy bit catchy. You'll take it.

Roman, quite frankly, eggs you on. He doesn't care what you do or listen to as long as it's annoying to everyone else. The fact that it brings you so much joy is just an added bonus. He always lets you play your music in the car or jet, on any speakers at a party, etc. He likes it. He likes the anger. At first it used to make him jump, make him flinch, but the more he got used to it, the more he likes it. Now he can guess right almost all your songs. He likes that it makes Connor squirm. Come on Old Man, like you wouldn't have listened this in your younger years. No, I don't think I would have. He loves to see the look on Marcia's face when it vibrates through the apartment. When she urges him to tell you to turn it down, he just goes into your room and gives you a thumbs up. They're out of control. Won't even listen to me. Me! Of all people! She just rolls her eyes, realizing it was no use. Does he like your music? It's not really for him. Does he like the reaction it gets? Of course he does. They hate it and you love it.

[tradetobest]

can you tell me more about these aus you have 👀

FUCKING ABSOLUTELY I CAN.

so the first one is the golf course au which i mentioned like. yesterday i think? which is basically just a bunch of nhlers working at a golf course because one day early in my liking of the nhl i went "ahah what if mitch did turf and saw auston and was like. Oh." because often golfers have like schedules and shit and come at the same day every week and stuff so. it basically started as a 1634 meet cute idea and exploded.

what happened is that i got into more teams in the nhl and my favourite players sort of just slotted into different roles at the golf course/as golfers.

(the reason a golf course, if that lore matters, is that i worked at one on turf so i was like ough.... minch turf worker. also my mom used johnny's golf cart once and so. i have a personal connection to the leafs golf stuff. epic.)

some highlights id say from the au are mechanic kris letang (and like. apprentice pojo) and sid and claude's rivalry (centring around who can do a full greens circuit fastest), and mceichel being a professional golfer tandem who slay on the course together.

uniform for the golf workers (there are shirt variations but like... im lazy)

i love this au because i loved my job and i feel like mitch would also love my job so yeah!! i have all my favourite (slash players related to my favourite) guys split up and it just makes me happy!!

the second one is based off of a musical called starlight express which i love because. i dont know. anyway.

i wanted to see my faves as trains, so i did so much fucking research on trains (including deeper and deeper research on many countries but specifically russian rail lines because holy shit, cross referenced with both the types of trains i wanted people to be and the different colours of trains that exist!!)

it was literally an excuse for me to draw the boys as trains in one of my favourite musicals, and basically devolved into me being like oh!! train races!! oughhhh .... ouhhhh train races ohh. because if you dont know anything about starlight express (which i would be surprised if you did) its basically about trains racing. there's also the final song in the musical is saurrrr hockey to me idk why... "There are dark days ahead/When the power goes dead/When the oil runs dry/What can we try?" to me any day i will go crazy....

heres some of my outfit doodles!! auston is a bnsf freight train, which both look better than union pacific trains to me and also go through arizona!! mitch is a go train passenger car, tyler is a go locomotive, sid is a cn freight train, geno is a freight train on the yuzhno-uralskaya railway (specifically the chelyabinsk railway division), leon is a deutsche bahn train (specifically an electric passenger locomotive), and connor is an lrt. prettyyy sure his colour scheme is that of the edmonton lrt (just checked, it is). none of them are steam trains. sorry andrew.

im the biggest giantest fan of mitch and tylers costumes because i will always have a special little place in my heart for the go train, although i dont use it much anymore. i also mourn that nobody ever is just from fucking toronto so i cant draw the subway or anything. maybe ill introduce busses give johnny an orange costume and call him the miway for a joke. anyway.

i guess theres no plot it was kinda just an excuse for me to make a stex au but. i did so much research and i still think about it all the time because i insane so.... yeah. thanks for biting my very obvious bait to get asked about my aus.....

[vicea]

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson) 

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories 

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour... 

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea) 

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when 

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla 

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars 

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon! 

[thebookreader12345]

Friendly Parenting Pt. 2

Pairing: Connor Rhodes x reader

Summary: Owen is now a few months old, and Natalie and Will decide to set Y/N up on a date with Connor

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: mentions of a car accident and heart problems

Word Count: 1,509 Words

Pt. 1     Pt. 3

“You’re late,” Maggie told me as I entered the ED.

“I know. I’m sorry. I promised Natalie I would drop Owen off at her mother-in-law’s place, but just before I could leave, he spit up on me and I had to change and-”

Maggie cut me off. “If I didn’t know you and Nat’s situation, I’d say you sound like a mom. Hurry up and drop your stuff off. I’ve got a case for you.”

“All right. Give me two minutes,” I say and rush into the lounge. I practically threw everything into my locker and shoved my stethoscope into my coat pocket. Pulling my hair up into a ponytail, I made a beeline for the exit only to be blocked by Connor.

“What’s the rush?” Connor asked.

“I was late today, and if I don’t get back to Maggie in the next 45 seconds, I’m toast,” I exclaim. “Excuse me.” I went to walk around Connor, but he gently grabbed my arm and stopped me from leaving the lounge. “Connor, I said I have to go.”

“Calm down, would ya? You’re working with me today. And you’re not really late considering that our patient hasn’t even come in yet,” Connor notified me.

“Oh. Sorry,” I reply. Connor gave me a small smile, and I could feel a light blush creeping up onto my cheeks, so I turned around so that Connor couldn’t see it. I then made my way back to my locker to organize it since I had the time. “Got any info on our case?”

“Not much. All I know is that it’s a car crash vic. Apparently he lost consciousness at the wheel, hence the car crash,” Connor stated.

“Sounds exhilarating,” I joke.

“What? Not your kind of case?” Connor asked, even though he knew me well enough to already have the answer to that question.

“I prefer the cases that keep you on your toes. The ones that start as a mystery and have you dying to figure out what’s going on even though it’s staring you right in the face. Those are the cases that get my adrenaline pumping, and they’re the ones that make me feel like I’m really helping people out,” I admit.

“Connor! Y/N! Incoming!” Maggie shouted from the nurses’ station at the ED.

“Duty calls,” Connor proclaimed.

“Duty calls,” I repeat and follow him out of the lounge and into the ED. “What have we got?”

“Mason Porter. Age 63. He lost consciousness at the wheel and caused a two car collision at an intersection downtown,” one of the paramedics informed us.

“Mr. Porter? Can you hear me?” I question as the paramedics transferred him from the gurney to one of the beds in the ED.

“I may be old, but I’m not deaf,” Mr. Porter responded. I see we had ourselves a jokester on our hands. 

“You ever lose consciousness like this before?” Connor asked.

Mr. Porter shook his head. “Never. The paramedics said there might me something wrong with my ticker?”

“That’s for us to find out. Did you feel dizzy before you passed out? Or was it more sudden?” My question wasn’t answered, and I glanced at Mr. Porter to see that he was staring off into space. “Mr. Porter?” Mr. Porter looked my way, and when he saw me, he smiled.

“Ah, my beautiful granddaughter is here!” Mr. Porter said and reached up to touch my cheek. “Mya, why haven’t you come by more?”

“He’s hallucinating. Chances are he’s got a severe case of endocarditis. We need a chest x-ray in here,” Connor called out into the ED. Seconds later, the machine was brought into the room, and Connor and I plus the others in the room put on our protective aprons. The x-ray tech positioned the x-ray over Mr. Porter’s chest, took a picture, and then the picture of Mr. Porter’s chest popped up on the computer connected to the machine. “What’d I say? Endocarditis,” Connor spoke and smiled at me.

“You’re always right, aren’t you?” I question teasingly as Connor grabbed onto one of the bed’s rails.

“Most of the time, yeah,” Connor replied with a small smirk. “Look, I’ve got to get Mr. Porter up to surgery.”

“Okay. Have fun,” I exclaim as Connor pushed Mr. Porter’s bed out of the room. I exited the trauma room and walked up to the nurses’ station to get another case, and as I was waiting for Maggie, Will walked over to me. “Hey, Will. What’s up?”

“You, me, Nat, Molly’s. Tonight after shift,” Will told me.

“Will, I was up for half of the night with Owen,” I confess.

“Right, which is exactly why you need a night out. Natalie’s getting Helen to keep Owen for a bit longer, so everything is taken care of. I’m not taking no for an answer,” Will declared.

I sighed. “Fine. Molly’s tonight after shift.” Later that night, after my shift had ended and I changed into some new clothes, I headed to Molly’s. When I walked inside, I didn’t see Natalie or Will, but I did spot Connor sitting at the bar. I made my way over to him and slid into the barstool at his side, waving Herrmann down. “Hey, Connor.”

“Hey,” Connor responded as Herrmann walked over to me. 

“What’ll it be, Y/N? Just a beer?” Herrmann guessed.

“You know it,” I say.

“Herrmann, put her drink on my tab,” Connor requested.

“Gotcha,” Herrmann confirmed and placed a beer in front of me. 

“You didn’t have to pay for my drink. I make money too, you know,” I remind him. Connor smiled and took a sip of his beer.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Connor disclosed. I only shook my head and took a sip of my drink. After about twenty minutes, Natalie and Will were still nowhere to be found. I sighed and glanced at my phone to see if either of them had texted, but I had no new notifications. “You waiting for a text or something?” Connor asked me.

“Not exactly. Will and Natalie were supposed to meet me here after shift,” I answer.

“Wait a minute. I’m also waiting for Will and Nat,” Connor claimed. At that moment, everything made sense. I groaned and took a big gulp of beer in front of me, enjoying the way the bitter alcohol burned my throat. “Something wrong?”

“Natalie and Will, they set us up,” I inform him.

“Set us up? What are you talking about?” Connor questioned.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I may have told Natalie that I liked you, and in turn she told Will, and so they tried to set us up. I feel so embarrassed,” I murmur.

“Why? I told Will the exact same thing,” Connor spoke.

“Hold on. You like me?” I ask.

Connor nodded. “I’ve liked you since the moment I got back to Chicago and got a job at Med.”

“Well, I did not see this coming,” I state. 

Connor laughed. “Me either. But since we’re here, and we both know that we like each other, Y/N, would you like to consider this our first date?”

“I would love to,” I say and wave Herrmann down towards us again. “Herrmann, we’re going to need some more beers.” The night went really well. It was nice getting to talk to Connor outside of work. There was so much we didn’t know about each other, and tonight gave us the opportunity to learn more. After a few drinks, it was getting late, so Connor and I decided to head out. Connor walked me to my car, and just before I could climb into the driver’s seat, I turned to Connor. “You know, there’s one thing we still have to do to make this first date official.”

“I think I already know what that one thing is,” Connor muttered and leaned forwards, pressing his lips to mine. I smiled against Connor’s mouth and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his body closer to mine. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was an amazing few seconds. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night, Connor,” I reply. The whole ride home, I was filled with happiness. I couldn’t believe I had kissed Connor. When I walked inside me and Nat’s shared house after about a five minute drive, I still had a smile on my face.

“You’re smiling,” Natalie pointed out. “And I’m guessing that because you’re smiling, things went well between you and Connor.”

“It was wonderful,” I breathe out and plop down on the couch next to her.

“And I’m ready to hear all about it. Spill,” Natalie demanded. The rest of that night was spent with me telling Natalie about what had happened between me and Connor. And when it was finally time for me to go to bed, all I could think about was our date. I was super excited to see where things would go with Connor and I, and I was ready to see what awaited us in the future.

______________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13​ @king-crockett​

[bearlytolerant]

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solavellan (Modern AU)

Ch Rating: T

Ch WC: 2169

AO3

Chapter 7

Another day at the office. Editing, emails and the ever elusive caller that enables equal opportunities for playing phone tag. A game Solas never enjoys participating in. The morning slides by and Varric is at his desk, twirling his keys around his finger.

“Lunch?”

Solas glances up and sighs. “I’m trying to get a hold of Seeker Pentaghast. Sera said she had more info on an agent that might have a lead on Crystal Red.”

“That sounds like a lot of maybes and probablys and a whole lot of I don’t give a fuck. You’re allowed to take a break and get some lunch.”

“What if they call while I’m away?”

“They can leave a message. Now let’s get out of here before we don’t have any time at all for food.”

Solas shoves back his chair and follows Varric. “I did pack a lunch today,” he mentions.

“Save it for tomorrow then. I’m craving some street tacos and there’s a truck just up the road. I’ll buy so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I am less concerned about finances and more concerned about getting food from a truck.”

“Ah, live a little Chuckles,” Varric says as he gives Solas a whack on the back.

“If living a little, as you say, means spending two days on the toilet. Perhaps I do not wish to live a little.”

“Well come with me and grab something else. I’m sure there’s something you’d find worthy of your tastes nearby.”

A half hour later and Solas is holding a taco that’s worth the regret he’ll experience from his future self. Some chipotle mayo dribbles down his chin and he swipes it away while pulling out his phone.

He checks his messages. One from Sarya and one from Veda. He taps on the one from Veda first.

Connor went home sick. Pick me up after school today?

He checks the time and swears. How did he not realize he took such a late lunch? She needs to be picked up right now. He dials her number as he stuffs his arms into his coat.

“Veda needs to be picked up,” he tells Varric as he shoves the remainder of his taco in his mouth.

“Got you covered,” Varric replies.

He mumbles a garbled, “thanks” then takes off down the street. Solas is just a block away from his car in the parking garage when she picks up.

“Hey papae!”

“Hello. I apologize. I just now saw your text. I will be late.”

“No worries. I can always watch the band practice until you get here.”

“I will be there soon.”

“Okie doke.”

He says he loves her and hangs up. Sprints the rest of the way down the street, half choking and wishing he’d at least drank some water but makes his way to his little car without incident. He hops inside. Starts it and zooms out of the garage. He’s speeding which has him checking his rear view mirror constantly. But of course, the city has a million stop lights and he hits every red one. He gets to her school later than he ever intended.

He parks, shoving his glasses all the way up his nose, and searches for Veda at the stadium. He spots her in the bleachers, chin resting in her hands and her copper braids coming undone in the breeze. He takes the stairs to meet her two at a time.

“I am so sorry to make you wait,” he says as he wraps her in his arms.

“Seriously, papae. It’s not a problem at all.”

“But what if it had rained? Or stormed like yesterday?”

“I would’ve just stayed inside. Besides, that didn’t happen.”

He sighs, berating himself a little internally. Then he walks with her back to the car. Slides in and clicks his seatbelt in place.

“What’s this?” Veda asks.

Solas glances over at her. She has Sarya’s camera in her hands. He hadn’t even noticed it there. He calmly says, “a camera.”

“Pssh, obviously. But I don’t remember you having a camera.”

“It’s a friend’s,” he says. “We went out for lunch and they must’ve left it.”

“Oh,” she says. “How was work today?” She’s still fiddling with the camera.

“It was work,” he says. Thankfully she easily dropped the subject. “Not much was accomplished.”

She gasps. “Your friend is so pretty. You’ve never mentioned her before. New coworker?”

“No. Just a new friend I met.”

“She looks familiar—and she’s a wonderful photographer. Maybe we should have her take some pictures of us. We haven’t updated our family photos since I was ten.”

“That’s a wonderful idea Veda. However, my friend is only visiting for a short while. I’m not sure there would be enough time to squeeze some family photos in.”

“Bummer. You look so happy around her.”

“I don’t always look happy?”

“You look a different kind of happy with her. It’s nice.”

He takes her words and holds them close to her chest. “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

“Yeah,” she says, then she unloads a multitude of stories. How one of her friends got their tooth knocked out by a basketball in gym. How she accidentally used Elvhen in her Tevene class and didn’t notice until the whole class was just staring at her.

“Did you feel embarrassed?” he asks as they pull into the garage.

“A little. But I mostly found it funny. The way the other kids looked so confused.”

“Does anyone treat you differently when you speak Elvhen?”

She shrugs. “There’s a couple of kids who say stupid things but I don’t hang around them.”

“Veda, I’m happy to speak with the administration if your having trouble with other students—“

“While I appreciate that, I can handle a couple of kids who are jerks.”

“Very well but if you ever—“

“I know.” She slings her backpack in her back then kisses his cheek. “Can I go to Varric’s house? I want to see the cats and hang out with Cole for a bit.”

“Yes, so long as you check with—“

“Already did.” She steps out of the car. “Going to drop my stuff off inside then I’ll see you later.”

“Text me when you want to leave. I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay. See you later, papae.”

Solas sighs. He’s glad she still talks to him and he still gets to see her but there’s also this tiny ache in his chest that misses her always being around the house. But he reminds himself that this is a good thing. It’s just new and he pulls out his phone to read his messages from Sarya.

Hey I’m going to try and stop by your work around 3:15 today.

I stopped by your work but you weren’t there. Saw Varric though! He introduced me to everyone and it was fun! I really like Sera. She’s hilarious! And Merrill was so sweet! Anyway, hopefully I’ll see you sometime soon. 😉

—

“I fold,” Sarya says, she takes a drag from her cigarillo. Then throws her cards face up on the table.

“Already?” Han asks. “What a shame.”

“Your mind must be elsewhere, Sarya. I’ve never known you to throw a game,” Vilanti says as she shows her cards.

Han takes the game and lets out a whoop as he gathers them all to shuffle.

“I still can’t believe Dallen just up and left us. Did he say anything to either of you? About his plans.”

Both of them shake their heads.

“It’s really odd.”

“I don’t know why you care. Easier to keep yourself from using him. Easier for him to be happy this way,” Han says.

“Ouch,” Vilanti grimaces, then gestures for all the cards to be handed over. She shuffles.

“I do agree with that actually. It’s just that most who move on from our happy little family tend to give us more of a notice. We didn’t get to give him a proper goodbye.”

“I don’t mean to sound callous here Sarya, but you were the only one who cared about the guy. Makes sense why he moved on.” Vilanti deals.

Sarya picks up her hand and stares straight through the cards. “That’s not true.”

“Basically,” Han argues. He draws a card.

“Sometimes you both are mean.”

“Not mean. Just honest,” Han says.

Vilanti draws. “On another note, I heard Makon made a new friend today.”

“What?” Sarya nearly drops her cards. “Our Makon? Makon—stoic, quiet, unsociable Makon?”

“Yep. Met her at the gas station. She was passing through on her way to Wycome and her motorcycle broke down. He fixed it up for her on the spot and they exchanged numbers I guess.”

“What the fuck?”

“Good for him,” Han says.

Sarya draws a card. “Yeah, seriously. I hope that works out.”

“Our next gig is in Wycome and he plans to see her then.”

“Was it love at first sight or something?” Sarya asks. She folds and picks her cigarillo back up. Her interest in cards declining by the second.

Vilanti shrugs and plays her cards, taking the game. “By the way he keeps talking about her, I’d say yes.”

“What’s her name,” Han asks, gathering all the cards into a pile.

“Athi. Athi Lavellan.”

“Another Lavellan huh?”

“Guess so. Maybe she’s related to you two,” Vilanti says.

“Doubt it. Or if she is, it’s very distant,” Han says.

In the distance they hear yelling and smashing bottles. They all exchange looks.

“Wonder who the hell set Deshanna off—“

“Let’s go see if we can smooth things over,” Han says with a sigh.

“You two can go. I’ll probably make things worse. I don’t think he likes me much.”

“That’s because you push his buttons. Definitely better for you to stay here,” Han tells her.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Then she waves at them as they slip out the door and finishes off her cigarillo.

—

It’s dark and quiet and Sarya gazes longingly out the window at a small patch of stars. The only patch not hidden by the clouds. She sighs and startles at the sound of knocking. Straightening herself out, she rubs the redness from her elbows and opens the door.

“Solas,” she says it like she’s expecting him but she’s truly surprised. She steps out with him, shutting the door behind her.

“You forgot your camera,” he tells her, holding it out in his hands.

She takes it from him, hanging it around her neck. “Thank you. I should really start keeping better track of my things or you’re going to start thinking I’m trying to bait you or something.”

“I would bite every time,” he says, his hands clasped behind his back. There’s a certain sparkle in his eye and she can’t read him. But she knows she wants to kiss him. So without another thought, she stretches up on her toes and takes him by surprise. He is frigid and she panics, certain she has misstepped. After all, friends don’t kiss like that.

“I’m sorry,” she says, a little out of breath. “I don’t know what…”

Her words are caught on the edge of his lips as he captures her mouth again. His kiss is unreserved but not what she’d call passionate. Like the kiss of a long time lover. A kiss of promise. Of commitment. Her mind screams at her to let go while simultaneously wishing and longing for more. His leg is pressed into her inner thigh and despite the chill of the air, she’s certain she is on fire. Her nails are in his shoulder, the camera even hurts just a little as it presses into her chest, and she doesn’t mean to let out a moan but it’s too late for regrets as he pushes her against the side of her trailer. One hand above her and the other in her hair. With each breath she steals between kisses, she studies his face. Memorizes it and stores it for always. Freckles for days and the tiniest scar above his brow. The only sign of his age lies in the lines of crows feet near the edges of his eyes and she tells herself to ask if he has a skincare routine. He certainly seems the type.

She studies his closed eyelids, there’s two freckles on the right and a singular small one on the left and she notices that there’s even some red in his brows and wonders if they’d have red headed babies.

She gasps then. Pulls away. Why in the hell is she thinking of babies?

“Perhaps I should…”

“Kiss me again,” she says to him. She won’t let one ridiculous thought ruin the moment. She knows that she’s falling for him. Too fast, too soon but she’s holding on for another day.

When they break apart she doesn’t want him to go. But it’s too much to ask him to stay. So she waves goodbye then clicks her camera, saving the image of him walking away.

[kachinnate]

,,,,okay i know i just said i wasn’t going to talk about the deh movie but actually yeah imma talk about it for just a sec bc y’all actually make me legitimately distressed sajkfndsmjkgds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ_A0H1otc i dont have the braincells to do a shot by shot analysis right now but here’s what we’re lookin at

under a readmore because ghhhhhhh

firstly, let me lead with this: yes, from what we know, there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie. 

the worst, in my humble opinion, being the bts treatment of the (very few) actors of color, and the lack altogether of any production team members of color. that’s something that should be acknowledged, talked about, and fucking dug into especially at the current fucking period of time we’re living in. it’s unsurprising, but disgusting nonetheless, and it set this movie up for failure from the very beginning. i’m a white person so by no means so i feel inclined or like i have any authority in saying what one should feel wrt all of that, however i will say if there’s to be a boycott in not watching this movie, that should 100% be the reason why. it’s fully poc’s choice whether or not to forgive the production team or give this movie a chance for the irredeemable shit it did in regards to handling the movie’s production. the movie imo definitely doesn’t deserve their forgiveness, but again, that is not for me to say. 

there’s some little things too that i can’t fully think of off the top of my head - like, the whole making larry connor’s stepdad thing fucking irks me, for example, but, like...... listen.

if you know me like at all, you know my favorite word is nuance.

so, i’m going to say it outright: the way you people are approaching this three minute trailer shows literally.... none?? no nuance ??? is it no-nuance november over here or ???? like i’m begging you i’m BEGGING YOU to put aside your pre-determined prejudices against this movie and like stop pretending to be a renowned film critic for ten seconds because it’s really not as outright fucking abysmal as you are saying!! and also it’s possible to have opinions that aren’t completely fucking polarized to one side because guess what, the deh movie? a piece of media! what is the shit y’all are constantly preaching about having the ability to consume media critically ? because you’re trying to cancel a fucking trailer based on the contents of the trailer alone !!!!! hello !!!!!!!!

media is bound to be problematic. if y’all were as quick to judge any movie as you did this one, guess what you wouldn’t be watching any movies like ever <3 

anyway lets get into the parts that are probably going to get me cancelled lmao 

ben platt - listen. LISTEN. listen i know he’s too old to be reprising evan we ALL know he’s too old to be reprising evan i’ve heard this same argument since the announcement was made we get it we all know. haha he’s a grandpa yes bestie ur so right ur so funny wow. i do agree that we should’ve maybe had a not-ben-platt evan moment but here’s some things to keep in mind: the arguments of “oooh ABF is right there !!!!!!” 1. who’s to say he was available? 2. the environment of a movie is so, SO much different than that of a musical -- as much as you wanna pretend you know everything from just a trailer, there’s no way of knowing what scenes were added that might’ve made the movie like.. idk possibly more intense story-wise not even COUNTING the fact that just inherently a movie set is different than a musical one? like yes ben platt might be just being used as a device but that’s probably not the sole and only reason. Also, if i see One (1) more comment about his FUCKING HAIR 😃 first of all it’s not that deep like... if you’re so distracted by an actor having their hair different that’s on you, but going as far as to call it bad or distracting or being like Vehemently a way about it? y’all i know it’s most likely not your intention but that is literally just ben platt’s natural fuckin ETHNICALLY JEWISH hair sajknfgkjds!!!! i’m not the first to make this point, but like dsjnfkjdsg!??! y’all are being so mean about it and for WHAT? again, maybe not intentional, but it reads as like high key Very antisemetic and you should.... maybe not 😳 be that way

connor. the thing about a trailer is that they don’t show you all the scenes because they want you to come see the movie. right? can we agree on that? all the connor scenes in the trailer had SEVERAL hard cuts, omitting a lot of the scene -- like the computer lab scene! we see the beginning of it, there’s a VERY obvious hard cut, and then he’s running out! in my opinion my first watch through of this trailer i had a very like “:// hmm all these actors feel a lil like dry”, but man oh man the comments ive seen about connor. holy shit guys. this boy gets 7 minutes of stage time in the actual musical, and the whole thing is we DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM. not to burst your bubble, and i by no means hate connor, i love me some good connor lives fics and stuff, but everything we write with connor being alive? that is !! speculation on our part !!!! those are headcanons and us using the little context we have!! connor doesn’t have any significant development IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL that is being adapted into a movie !!! you 1. can’t fully judge a character with already limited screentime in a 3 minute trailer, 2. can’t really call what connor has canonically in the musical as in depth character development !! what is his arc then !!!! he pushes evan, goes to the computer lab, has an outcast loner kid moment, gets upset, takes the letter, DIES. sorry stans, that’s just how it is !! and, AND, everything in between, all the idiosyncracies, that depends on the actor playing connor! speaking of, you know who the actor is playing connor in the movie? that’s right, colton ryan! so, i don’t know, maybe... have some trust in the process, in an actor who ALREADY has played connor on broadway???? and also trust that you will get more connor content then u are seeing from a 3 minute trailer!! dhgnijsdg and some of the comments on like his appearance specifically? like are you really made that he doesn’t have long hair?? they kept his nails and his rings but nahhh the hair was apparently a MUST HAVE (even though like.. not all connor actors on broadway always had/have long hair but w/e).. REGARDLESS. tldr on THAT , the movie would have to do a pretty shitty job if they want to take something from someone who doesn’t have much to begin with and i think y’all are being extremely harsh on this point 

jared. honestly i’m a bit worried too about the like... name change, because it does have the potential to be taking out some representation, but... they did change the name to fit the actor’s ethnicity? it’s a really [hmm] topic because, again, from a trailer and from what we have been told we don’t KNOW a lot of the context, but i think it’s important to remember that uh.. jewish people aren’t just? always white ?? there’s a possibility they changed the last name to fit with the [ethnicity] while keeping him jewish?? ofc there’s the possibility that they Didn’t and ... again hm that’s its own thing altogether but just reiterates the point that you can’t knock a whole movie just based on the trailer. you can’t talk about things you know nothing about. 

alana. same thing as before, you can’t.... completely bash a character based on a 3 minute trailer. there was discussion about how she seemed ‘shy’ when talking to evan, which like.. maybe she is but also that scene was them talking in a library like if u actually take notice of what’s happening in the scene jdskngsd though i do share the general consensus with many others that she won’t get a lot of screen-time but that’s neither here nor there 😔 moving on

scenes and the setting. one of the things i was most like.. tentative about in regards to a switch from a musical to a movie was how they were like... going to do certain scenes? naturally, a lot has to be different when we’re going from a minimal stage set to an entire movie with like.. settings. there are going to be new scenes because a movie lends to have like, physical places that aren’t just [evan’s bedroom] and [murphy kitchen] and [implied school]. so new scenes, new conversations, slightly different pacing.. this is all to be expected right like are y’all geneuinely surprised here or ........

there’s a lot we aren’t seeing yet because this is a TRAILER. again i already mentioned this re: connor but like... again, y’all are making some Claims that just... fucking outlandish. there are so many moments in the trailer that are very obvious Hard Cuts. you don’t have all the information yet. you are angry at a tiny fragment of something that is confusing you because you don’t have all the context. is there a chance that some of this shit is just genuinely Bad? yeah but you really cannot 100000% say it with your chest and gauge it without seeing the movie and understanding what that scene is in context. lowkey uhhh saw some jokes about the zoe scene in the car and :’))) ? jesus? christ????

concluding thoughts because my brain hurts but like. you don’t have to like the movie. you don’t have to WATCH the movie. like all media if you choose to consume the movie you should do so with some CRITICAL THOUGHT. but, just like the novel (and i do not want to have any discussions about that i don’t care if you think it’s good Or bad that’s not what this is about) you guys are going in this WANTING to believe it’s bad and completely polarizing your thoughts on what this is going to be. yeah, maybe there shouldn’t be a movie. i genuinely think we could’ve gone without. but it’s just a piece of media, it’s not a progression like all your (musical is good, novel is bad, MOVIE IS WORSE OH NO) posts are suggesting. they are all just. different pieces of media stemming from a source. at the end of the day it’s just a fucking movie. if you already hate it so much, guess what? you don’t have to watch it! you don’t have to put so much needless fucking hate into a 3 MINUTE TRAILER. you can stop being performative and dissing it for its poor treatment of POC while then going on to make fun of ben platt’s hair and just targeting a different group like! please !!!

i’m not trying to be a fuckin’ advocate for this movie because there’s so much opportunity for it to suck, i do Not have high hopes for it, and i’m not even really sure i want to watch it (i bought the novel when it came out and have yet to read it, and i’m sure the movie will like.. elicit very similar vibes from me lsdngjkdsg like im just not uhhh feeling it) but y’know what? watching the trailer did not bring forth the fucking onslaught of hatred in me that apparently has fuckin posessed all of y’all and like djnsgjksdg plagued my dashboard for this whole evening. don’t come into my inbox trying to like.. argue with me about this (preemptively im turning off anon because i like i Can’t lmao) this is just like... a rant i needed to get out of me real quick. 

SO. tldr for now: have critical thought about shit you consume, there’s no ethical consumption under [the film industry], you can’t judge a movie entirely on its trailer, and y’all need to calm the fuck down 

[connordavidscamera]

Living, Learning, and Filming Ch. 2 | Connor Brashier

A/n: This is the rewritten version of this chapter which was originally posted on my Shawn account.

Summary: Days spent together could bring you and Connor closer… or bring someone else closer.

Warnings: is this a little jealous!Connor? 

Word count: 1.7k

***

Week 2

"Have you ever been in love?" Connor asks me.

I shake my head and tap a little at a spot on my nose. "I've been infatuated with a person. But no, never in love."

"Can you see yourself falling in love?"

I purse my lips, thinking it over. "Someday. I think maybe it just isn't the time for me yet. But it would be nice, I think, to find that comfort in someone. That someone that you want to spend every waking moment with."

I cringe at my answer, not because of what it was, but because in my head I can still see his face fall after I said it. He's so sure that I'll fall in love with him, but he's forgotten that this is a game. If one of us falls in love, we lose. But I guess we never discussed what would happen… if we both fell in love.

iMessage from: Hubby ;)

How's the editing going?

iMessage to: Hubby ;)

Think I need a break. Been at it for 3 hrs

iMessage from: Hubby ;)

Was hoping you'd say that

Before I even have the chance to ask what he means, his face appears on my phone. 

"What do you mean you're glad I said that?" I ask immediately after answering his FaceTime call.

"Well hello to you too."

I sigh, "Hi, Connor. Now what did you mean?"

"Come outside."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm taking you to my place."

"And again I ask, why?"

"Because I want to hang out and Brian isn't home,” he says as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “Thought we could watch a movie or something."

"Connor, I really need to get this editing done. We have that check at the end of the week and -"

"So bring your computer. I can help if you need me to. Just come out, please? I’m bored,” he whines.

“But if I go-”

“If you don’t come down in five minutes I’m going up and getting you myself.”

“You don’t have my code.”

“I have another friend that lives in these dorms, I can have him let me in.”

I groan, “You’re too much. I’m not even ready. I haven’t put makeup on or anything.”

“Yeah, like you need it. Just put some shoes on and get your cute ass down here.”

I roll my eyes, “Whatever. I’ll see you in a minute.” I hang up before he can say something smug, which is likely. 

I slip into my favorite pair of jeans because, sorry Connor, but sweatpants is not an option right now. We’re not close enough for that.

---

“Y/n, look at me real quick,” I hear Connor’s voice from beside me and I sigh, rubbing my tired eyes.

“What?” I dare to glance over at him and he has his camera in front of his face, which causes me to cover mine. “No! Not now,” I whine, turning away from him, but he keeps recording. I try to focus on the overwhelming amount of video clips I have on the screen in front of me, but he’s distracting, annoyingly so. “Connor, I have to work on this.”

“Whatcha working on?”

“Our project, now please. Put that away,” I go to shove the camera away from me, but he catches my hand and laces our fingers. 

“Yeah, I’m working on it too. Gotta get you to fall in love with me somehow right?

I hum in response, feeling my cheeks burning up. His skin is so warm, and surprisingly smooth, I almost don’t want to let go. Almost. “Can I have my hand back, please?”

“Sure,” he lets go, but only after pressing a kiss to the top of my wrist. “Hey,” he says a minute later, camera still in his hand and facing me. 

“Hay is for horses,” I mutter, clicking a few keys on my laptop and watching the playback of the video. 

“What’s it gonna take for you to fall for me?” He asks, ignoring my comment.

“Stop trying so hard,” I admit too quickly. 

“And if I do, do I get to take you on a date?”

“Is this not one?” I smirk, giving him a side glance. The tops of his ears turn red, as do his cheeks, but only slightly. 

“It is if you stop working.”

I can’t help but laugh, “Alright,” I close my laptop and turn my body to face his. “Well?” I rest my arm on the back of the couch, my head leaning against my palm. “If I have to stop working doesn’t that mean you do, too?”

“Okay, okay.” He chuckles, “I can take a hint.”

“No you can’t,” I say jokingly before he turns off the camera. 

“I resent that. I can take hints.”

“Not when it comes to me, Brash.”

“How do you know I’m not just ignoring them?”

“Oh, I know you are. However, that’s not helping your case.”

“Fair enough.” he rests one arm on the back of the couch, his fingers just inches away from my elbow. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“When you said you’d never been in love, it had me thinking.”

“Okay. Should I be scared?”

“Have you ever had a boyfriend before?” He asks it like he needs to know the answer, his eyes so intense, looking into mine the way they are. It’s in this moment that I notice the slight blue that’s incorporated in his pretty green eyes. 

“Umm…” I casually reach for his fingers with my hand that was resting in my lap. “No.”

“Have you ever been close?” He questions, pressing our fingertips together.

“Define close,” I say, only focusing my attention to our hands and the way his skin feels under mine. 

“Have you been kissed?”

“Yes.”

“You've been on a date?”

“If group dates count.”

“Eh,” he tilts his head from side to side. “No, not really.”

“Then no,” I shake my head. “I haven’t.”

“We’re gonna change that,” he says matter of factly.

“Excuse me?”

“One more question.”

“Wait, Connor.” I look up at him and I feel pinned down by his intense stare.

“Why haven’t you ever had a boyfriend?”

I sigh and shrug, “No one’s ever asked to be.”

“They’re goddamn idiots.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I turn my head, focusing my attention to the movie on the screen, my fingers still playing with his, and he doesn’t move away.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?” I hum, not bothering to look away from the screen.

“Would you like-?” before he can finish his sentence, the door opens and we quickly separate. Well… I separate.

"Brash, I brought - oh shit. Hi," the redhead says, while the tall curly headed boy behind him closes the door. "You must be y/n," he comes toward us and I stand, - which prompts Connor to do so also - holding my hand out to shake. "I'm Brian, Connor's roommate. And this is Shawn," he announces when we release our hands.

"Hi," I smiled, "I'm y/n. It's a pleasure to meet you both," I say, still shaking Shawn's hand.

"The pleasure is all mine." Shawn says, but he's still not letting go.

Connor clears his throat from beside me and his hand rests on the small of my back, causing my skin to burn under his touch. "Shawn, good to see you. What're you doing here?"

I don't know what compels me to do so, but I sink into Connor's touch, just a little bit, and his arm wraps loosely around my waist. 

Shawn shrugs, "The usual. Got a little studio time, have a show I'm going to." 

Connor nods, "Well make yourself at home. Does anyone want something to drink?" He focuses his eyes on me, "Baby, you want something?"

I know I should tell him not to call me that, but it sounds so good coming from his lips that I just can’t. "I'm okay. Thank you."

---

"It's getting late," I say into Connor's shoulder while we watch Brian and Shawn play FIFA. They both suck at it though and Connor makes sure to tell them every once in a while.

"You want me to take you home?" He looks down at me, and you can tell that his eyes are tired; I'm sure they match mine all the same.

"Please?"

He nods, "I'll go get your stuff from my room," he mumbles just loud enough for the boys to hear.

"You're leaving?" Brian pauses the game while both Connor and I stand up.

"Yeah, I have an eight am tomorrow, so I should get going."

"Be right back," Connor whispers into my ear, his lips touching my skin barely. I almost moan at the contact.

"Hey, y/n, before you go…" Shawn tosses the controller to the side and stands, his long limbs causing him to stumble a bit. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Uh… sure,” I wring my hands together in front of me and nod. 

He walks over to the small kitchen area and leans against the counter. "So, uh… I'm gonna be in town for a few days."

"Okay…" I slip my previously entwined hands into my back pockets.

"And I was wondering, and you don't have to if you're busy or something. But I'd really love to get to know you. And, again, if you're not busy, maybe you'd like to… go on a date? With me."

"Oh." Shawn Mendes is asking me out. He's asking me out and he barely knows me. He's asking me out and -

"There you are," Connor smiles when he sees me, but it quickly falters when he meets eyes with Shawn. "You ready?"

"Yeah, um. Can I meet you in the car? I just want to finish up this conversation?" I'm avoiding his crazy beautiful, green-blue eyes when I speak because I know exactly what my answer will be if I do look into them. 

"Sure hon. Take your time." He brushes my arm with his finger tips before leaving the room.

"There's something going on with you and Connor, isn't there?" Shawn asks after we hear the door close.

"No," I shake my head. "Well… I don't know. It's complicated."

***

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[just-my-type-x]

Love Again part 1 - Brad Simpson

Sorry for this being sooo long

It’s been a while since i’ve known Brad. We met in high school, i was a sophomore and he was a freshman. I always mocked him for being younger than me, even tho the age gap is just a few months. I think i have  always been in love with Brad. Not neceserily from the moment i met him, but i knew he was going to cause some trouble in my life, since i was already in a relationship for a year at that point and somehow i felt that my relationship would become a target to my own feelings. I didn’t believe myself then that i am faithful enough to go through a friendship with him while having someone already and i was right. Don’t think i cheated on my boyfriend, because phisically, i couldn’t and i wouldn’t. Never. Sometimes, your thoughts are the ones that cheat for you and that should be enough for you to realize it’s not ok to do that to anybody. Of course, before all this, Brad and i were super flirty, we would look at each other across the hallway and try to look uninterested, but we would both find ourselves walking towards one another and we would stop midway to say hello, hug really tightly. Some days he would pass me by and all of a sudden he would kiss my cheek and drag me down the hallway to go outside with him and our friends. Little things like these made my heart go wild for him. I ended up in a place where i didn’t know what i wanted to do with my life.

When i found my courage, i broke up with my boyfriend, but i knew karma had it coming. I was finally ready to tell Brad everything about my feelings, but that’s when i also found out that he got a girlfriend. Little pieces broke from my soul and i told myself that i don’t need him, either as my friend or my boyfriend.

Months passed by and we became really close all of a sudden, and one summer, he just showed up at my doorway, with flowers, confessing how much he cares about me and how much he thought of us getting together. I accepted his request to be his girlfriend, even if i knew how long he will be gone from home, since he already started the band.

2 years went by and things were going really great,until social media helped me figure out my “destiny” with Mr. Simpson. He was photographed with a girl holding hands in a park, then at dinner and then they were spotted kissing in his car. I set those pictures to him and asked him nicely not to talk to me ever again. I was broken. All those memories made with Brad became insignificant and disappeared as i was looking at those photos again and again.

Now, 2 years later, the boys asked me to come on tour with them for a few shows in England, since i started a singing career as well. I stayed friends with them and chatted almost every night. I even started to talk to Brad every once in a while, when i would facetime one of the boys. It didn’t hurt to see him as much as i thought. Maybe i was healed and recovered. 

“Heeeey bestie”, Tristan yelled when i got out of the uber’s car. I ran towards him, leaving my suitcases in the middle of the parking lot,anf i jumped in his arms, him lifting me up and stopping my breathe because of how tight the hug was. I saw then James and Connor and they did the same as Tristan. I told them how much i missed them and that we needed to hang out together a lot more. Brad appeared in the parking lot and my heart sank a little. He looked so good in his shirt and with his glasses on and i remembered how deeply in love i was with this man in front of me. He was walking up to us and i could see the boys tense up and become awkward next to me. I didn’t hesitate and i ran towards Brad and jumped in his arms. He was surprised, but he picked me up and inhaled my scent. I did the same, tears blurring my view, but i sent them away.

“I missed you a lot, asshole”, i told him and i smiled still hugging him. I coulf feel a small smile on his face too. 

“I deserved the nickname. I missed you like crazy and you have no idea how sorry i am”, he broke the hug and i looked at him. He had red eyes and i wondered if he slept at all the night before.

“It’s in the past. I knew we should’ve stayed best friends”, i laughed and my own sentence broke me. The forming tears stung my eyes, but they went away when the guys and Joe joined us.

“It’s good, you’re both alive and you don’t seem angry. I think Connor lost the bet, we’re getting them out alive from the first concert”, Joe laughed and i joined when i saw Connor shake his head and take out of his wallet 100 pounds.

“If that’s on how much money you  bet, you should’ve done it with me. I could make sure i won those 100.”, i said and Brad kicked me in the arm softly, but he let out a giggle.

We went into the venue and saw how amazing the stage was decorated. I could feel goosebumps, thinking about the upcoming show. I went backstage with the boys and ate together, while rehearsing a few songs with the guitars. It felt weird being around the person i loved the most, but i also needed to be around him to realize the world hasn’t ended, that he can still be my friend.

I was now alone in my dressing room, when Joe entered and we smiled at each other. 

“How are you feeling?”, he asked and i sat down next to him on the leather couch.

“Surprisingly good. It didn’t hurt that much, we are ok, i guess things will go great this tour.”, i smiled,but the regret was screaming loudly in my voice. It was noticeable enough for Joe, who looked down to the setlist.

“Would you be confortable singing Would you with them on stage?’‘

With no warning whatsover, Joe asked me and i felt my heart dropto the floor. Would You was the song that reminded me the most about everything that went on after the break up. Fans also had theories that the lyrics were about me, but i never wanted to accept that somebody else thought the same thing as me.

“Brad asked me if you’re willing to do this”, he continued and his voice woke me up from the memory lane.

“Uhm what?”

“He said he wants to make it up to you and since you know the song talks about your relationship.. Maybe it will set things right”

“This song will never set things right for us. I’m not singing something that talks about uncertainity regarding my feelings about him being out of my life, or the wonder regarding the moments i talk about him with family or friends.”, i raised my voice and kept walking around the room. “This song has nothing to do with us or make us great again because even now, i cry when i talk about him. I cry every time i end a facetime call and he comes to the phone for 2 minutes to ask me how i am and all this stupid stuff.”, i start crying and Joe comes to hug me. I embrace him tightly and i see Brad in the doorway, with tears in his eyes and looking down at his fingers when he meets my eyes.

“I’m sorry, it was a mistake”, Brad said and i let Joe go

“Yeah, i know. Was coming on tour with you also your mistake?”

He hesitates and i look disappointed towards Joe. “I’m not here because i sing amazing and i’m in top 10 Billboard top 100, i’m here because Brad is lonely”

I look towards Brad and i see him frown as he's walking up to me. I take a step back when he comes a little too close to me.

“I made a mistake doing that to you but i never got over you. I couldn’t forget you. I swear i never stopped loving you.” Brad was crying and i was too, but i was angry, not sad.

“You never loved me, Bradley. You never..”, my voice cracked and i became feeling really dizzy, so i grabbed my phone and i left the room, walking far away from Brad.

Outside, thousands of girls were waiting to get into the venue. I hid my face so they wouldn’t see me cry and i went to the parking lot where nobody could see me.

“No duet tonight. I’m sorry”, i texted Joe and started balling my eyes out.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault”

Sooo hi, i tried making something. If you want part 2, like this post, because i really wanted to write something. Love you, guys.

[pink-peony-princess]

Fight for You

"Why do people do this to themselves?" I shouted to Shawn and Peter over the roar of the crowd as Raul's fist made contact with his apponents cheek- a sickening crack ringing out around the cramped room."It's barbaric!"

"It's actually quite ordered," Peter counted, eyes not leaving the action. "There's more that they can't do than they can."

"I still think it's stupid," I grumbled, before jumping and slapping my hands over my eyes as Raul copped a nasty hit to his chest.

The only reason I'd come to see the fight was to support Raul I'd been friends with the Triplets since we were about 5, having immediately hit it off with them on the first day of preschool. We'd been inseperable since, but I'd always had a soft spot for Raul,we just seemed to get each other- and he was always so protective of me.

In middle school he'd punched Jacob Connor's out (the resident bully) when he'd somehow found out I'd started my period and spread it around the school like wildfire. Raul had been given a 5 day suspension for it, but he'd always maintained that 'it was worth it, the little weasel got what he deserved.'

As we grew we only got closer,we were each other's confidant, the one person who we trusted with all our secrets, or biggest dreams and our deepest fears. That didn't stop us going through the awkward phase where you realise that maybe you like the other person, but are too much of a scaredy-cat to do anything about it.

Everyone could see it, my friends at school, Peter and Shawn, even my parents told me I should do something about it.

"Don't fret, Kara, your boy will be fine," Shawn laughed teasingly looking down at me bring me back to the present. The boys towered over me at 6'2 they were well over a head taller than me.

"How can you say that?He's your brother," I was appalled. They had absolutely no concern for the fact that their brother, their triplet no less was being pummelled like a car at a junk yard.

"Because," Shawn continued. "It might not look like it, but Raul has the upper hand, he's more agile on his feet, can move faster than the baffoon he's facing,"

I couldn't help but laugh at the description. Compared to Raul,the guy he was versing really did look like a monkey.

Despite the fact that ever fibre of my being wanted nothing more than to go up there and rescue him, I couldn't help but watch in awe as Raul served punch after stratigic punch to his apponents, before finally the referee called time and he was declared the winner.

"You know he does it for you," Peter spoke.

"Does what?" I asked confused.

"Fights, he fights for you, to impress you."

"Don't be stupid," I rolled my eyes, but I was stunned, was he really doing it for me? Why did he feel he needed to impress me?

"I'm going to the toilet," I called to Peter as people started slowly filing out the doors, satisfied with the gratuitous violence they'd witnessed, now no-doubt board.I needed some air,space to think.

As I made my way slowly towards the doors, being all but pushed,forced by the sheer numbers of people baring down on me I started to regret not asking one of the boys to accompany me.

This side of town wasn't exactly known as a safe haven and I wasn't even sure where I needed to go.

And Raul's words of warning 'never go anywhere this side of town without one of us,' rang through my head, as I made my way out into the alley behind the delapidated building and into the night air which was full of the smell of stale cigarette smoke.

"Hey there pretty," a group of guys yelled as I walked past, before wolf whistling. I shuddered and picked up my pace, reaching for my bag that was across my body to try and call one of the boys. I no longer felt safe, in fact I was starting to panic, my hands shaking as I dug blindly through my small purse trying to find my cell. In my haste and in attention, I failed to noticed a massive dip in the run down concrete and before I had a chance to correct it,my foot was falling in, my ankle twisting as I fell heavily to the ground. My hands stung as they made harsh contact with the gravel covered floor.

I sat there for a minute dazed, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry. Why did this have to happen now? Why not when I was with the guys? I wondered, a few tears leaking from my eyes I scrubbed them away angrily trying to get up, but to no avail. It was useless. I knew I needed help, but I wasn't sure how to get it, there was no way I was going to ask the men down the street for help.

"Kara? Is that you," I looked up with a sigh of relief immediately recognising the voice and he tall figure. It was Raul, making his way out from behind the building,bag slung over his shoulder,still covered in a sheen of sweat, his muscle top sticking to his chest highlighting his toned physique.

"What happend, why aren't you with Shawn and Peter?" he asked jogging down the street and dumping his bag in the ground before bending down in front of me.

"I got lost," I sighed. I tried to move my ankle which was now throbbing,wincing as a sharp, white-hot pain shot through my foot.

"I'll kill those dimwits," he growled as he looked at me.

"Don't blame them, it was me. I went to find a toilet and I didn't ask one of them to come with me," I explained,my voice shaky from pain and fear.

"How could you be so stupid!" he yelled surprising me. He looked livid."How many times have I told you," he hissed shaking his head, reaching for my foot, but I yanked it away despite the instant ache of protest it gave off. If he was going to be a sick, I didn't want his help,I felt bad enough already.

"Why are you being such a fucking asshole?You know what, don't worry, I'll find my own way home," I spat,tears running down my cheeks unchecked as I glared at him. I struggled to get up, using the wall behind me as support, but eventually made it. As soon as I put weight on my foot though I collapsed. The firey ache that started instantly was now worse than ever.

"I'm sorry," he puffed out. "I'm just worried I'd hate for you to get hurt,I love you," he whispered the last part, by I heard it. It took everything in my power to stay calm,it wasn't like I didn't know it, but I'd never expected him to admit it.

"I am hurt," I replied cooly, pointing to my foot.

"More hurt," he amended his eyes going dark,the grim look on his face didn't make it hard to guess what he was thinking and I shuddered.

"I'm going to take the shoe off," he told me, working quicky but carefully to release my foot from the confines of the heel I'd been wearing.

I couldn't help the hiss that left my lips as it finally feel free.

"Sorry," he apologised softly, much calmer than before. "It's already swelling," he commented as he took the foot in his hand and carefully manipulated it.

"I don't think you've torn anything, but I'll wrap it to make sure," he nodded to himself, unzipping the bag he'd discarded beside me and pulling what looked like strapping tape out.

"How do you know so much?" I asked as he took my foot in his hands again, very carefully wrapping the fabric around it, before pulling it tight. I could feel it throbbing,but I said nothing, not wanting to complain. It did feel better than it had before, but I knew by the time I made it home it'd need to be iced.

"Honey you learn this stuff when you fight, you have to fiend for yourself," he responded,"There all done," he added as he admired his work.

"Give me your hand," he spoke.

"What?"

"Your hands, they're bleeding."

"Ohh," I held my hands out for him to take. He tipped some water onto them which stung like hell, and wrapped them, before placing a kiss on each of my knuckles, causing me to blush. It was lucky it was dark and dimly lit because I knew that itlf he'd noticed he would have teased the daylights out of me.

"Thank you," I took his hand that he was holding out and let him pull me up, leaning into him instinctively.

"No worries, wouldn't want an invalid walking around town now, it'd ruin the street cred," he winked, causing me to laugh. This was the side of Raul that I was used to, the cheeky, unapologetically flirty, protective Raul.

"Nah really, of course I'd look after you, you're my favourite girl," he kissed my forehead as we made our way to find the others at which point Raul promptly chewed out their ears about the dangers of leaving me alone and their completely mind-blowing stupidity which had them both looking extremely guilty.

It was quickly forgotten though as we went on to celebrate his victory, Raul never leaving my side,checking every so often that I was okay, even going so far as to find pain killers for me which helped a heap.

"Thank you," I told him again as we piled into a taxi- Peter already having gone home and Shawn still partying. Normally Raul was the party animal, but he'd insisted he go home with me to make sure I got there in one piece.

It wasn't like I was going to say no, I appreciated the sweet gesture.

"Don't sweat it. You're my girl," he answered, kissing me again, but this time on the lips momentarily stunning me.

"And you're my boy," I giggled,beaming.

"So how about we make this official?" he suggested, that cheeky grin that I loved so much present again.

"I thought you'd never ask," I responded, reaching up to kiss him again.

[duhragonball]

So, Terminator 3.   T2 was such a huge hit that everyone just assumed a third movie was a given, but it took twelve years for it to finally happen.    The Wikipedia article has a section about the delay, but it’s really long and complicated, and I’m not that interested anymore.   The main takeaway is that James Cameron, who directed the first two movies, wasn’t involved in the making of T3.   Apparently, he really wanted to do it in 1995, but by the time the rights and everything got squared away, he got busy doing Titanic and Avatar or whatever else, and he decided that he’d already told the story he wanted to tell in the first two movies.   But he did tell Arnold Schwarzenegger to go for it if he got an offer.  

I guess the reason I’m explaining all of this was because I always thought Cameron did make T3, and the reason Linda Hamilton wasn’t in it was because of hard feelings over their divorce in 1999.  Which sounds kind of dumb now that I type it out.    A fan would think that, because they see actors appearing or not appearing in movies as the ultimate sanction, but for them it’s strictly business.   Arnold was in T3 because they paid him $30 million, not because he desperately wanted to play the character again.   According to the Wikipedia article, Hamilton wasn’t in the movie because there just wasn’t much they could do with Sarah Connor in the story.    Her role was to prepare John Connor for his own role.   This movie features him as an adult, so there’s nothing more for her to do.    Hamilton recognized this, and declined to participate.

I think T3 had a lot going against it, because it had so much to live up to, and fans of T2 had been waiting so long.   I think everyone wanted the T3 movie James Cameron might have made in 1995, but what they got in 2003 was this movie, which didn’t quite live up to the hype.   I’m not sure anything else could have lived up to the hype, though.    T2 had some mighty big shoes to fill.  

The big problem is that it’s basically the same plot structure as T2.  Two more Terminators come from the future and they fight over the life of John Connor.   After escaping the bad Terminator, John tries to stop Skynet from taking over and nuking humanity, and they end up having a final showdown with the bad Terminator along the way.  It really is the same movie in a lot of ways, so it just begs to be compared to T2, which only magnifies its flaws.  

The main difference is that John thought he already stopped Skynet years ago, so he’s horrified to learn that he only postponed the inevitable.    He goes to a lot of trouble to try again, but the audience probably already anticipates that this won’t work.  T2 was ambiguous about this, but T3 actually shows the nuclear missiles launching and destroying their targets.   So it’s kind of a downer to watch.   We even learn that Future John will die in 2032, because the good Terminator in this movie was the one who kills him, before he got reprogrammed to protect Present John.

The other difference is the addition of Kate Brewster, who’s fated to become John’s second-in-command and wife.   The bad Terminator was actually sent to kill her and other would-be Resistance leaders, until it discovers John and changes priorities.    Future Kate is also the one who sends the good Terminator back in time.   I never fully understood Kate’s purpose in the movie, since she’s basically a spare John, but I think they needed a viewpoint character.    In T1, Sarah was the viewpoint character, then it was John in T2.   But in T3, Sarah’s dead and John already knows all about this stuff, so there needed to be a new character with a special destiny.   The trouble is that I don’t think Kate gets a chance to digest this very well, probably because we’ve already covered this twice before already.  

I think this is the movie where the time travel stuff really went off the rails.  T1 was very consistent about establishing a predestination paradox.   T2 hinted that the future could be changed, but never made it clear whether it actually changed or not.   The value was in the attempt, not the result.   But the T-850 tells John that “Judgement Day is inevitable”, and that he only postponed it from its original date in 1997.  So they managed to change the future, just not enough.   Fair, but how does the T-850 know this?   Shouldn’t he be from the same altered future, where Judgement Day happened in 2003?  

Also, this movie introduces more Terminator varieties.   In the first movie, the T-800 is stated to be new in the future.   Then in the second movie, the T-800 admits that the T-1000 is much more sophisticated, because it’s an “advanced prototype.”   In this movie, the T-850 claims to be obsolete, and says the T-X is much more advanced.   So it sounds like Skynet was busily inventing better Terminators for these missions, except it shouldn’t have had time for that.   It lost the war and had to use the time machine as a last-ditch effort.  It’s weird enough that it used the time machine three times, but it shouldn’t have had years to do this.   The Human Resistance captured the time machine shortly after winning the war, right?   I really hope T4 explains some of this.

Roger Ebert called this movie “Essentially one long chase and fight, punctuated by comic, campy or simplistic dialogue."   The first 24 minutes are fairly dull, but once it gets rolling, it’s pretty fun to watch.    But he’s right.   When I watched all the DBZ movies in 2019, I realized that Movie 7 is just one big fight scene, with some slice of life stuff at the beginning to set things up.    T3′s basically the same, with very little else to occupy its time.   T1 had the relationship between Sarah and Kyle, and T2 had Sarah’s hangups and John’s bonding with “Uncle Bob”.   T3 really only has Kate and John hanging on for dear life as their protector drags them through the story.    It’s a fun chase, with lots of guns and explosions and breaking stuff, but there’s not much more to it.  

So what’s good about this movie?  What makes it really stand out?   Well, for openers, the T-X is pretty cool.  The T-1000 was going to be difficult to top, and I don’t think the T-X ever succeeded, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.   She has liquid metal on top of an endoskeleton, so she can disguise herself, but she can’t seep under doors and stuff like that.   Also, she has weapons built into her body, so she’s the only time traveler who could actually bring future weapons with her into the past.   Also, she can control machines, like when she hijacks a bunch of police cars and fire trucks to help her chase down John.   She’s ridiculously overpowered, and she does not give a fuck who knows it.  The previous Terminators at least attempted to keep a low profile, revealing themselves only when ready to attack, but the T-X just wreaks havoc all over the place.    She’s not worried about the authorities or a lack of firepower, or anything at all, so she’s free to execute her mission with reckless abandon. 

Second, I take some solace in John Connors personal crisis in this movie.  He was kind of chill about the whole thing in T2, because he got his mom back and he had a cool robot pal, and they seemed to have the whole Skynet problem figured out.     In this movie, Sarah’s dead, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.  He can’t quite believe that Judgement Day won’t come, so he lives off the grid and tries to avoid everyone.   He doesn’t want the Future War to happen, but at the same time, his life has no purpose without it.   Later, he becomes despondent and says that he must not be the chosen one after all, because he’s no leader and he never was.  

Except, he is, and he has to be, and he becomes one at the end of the movie, when he finally accepts his fate.   There’s something very powerful about the shot of Kate holding his hand as he prepares to give orders to the other survivors on the radio.  They’re stuck in this dark future now, and they have to see it through together.  

I think, whenever I watched these movies before, that I never really “got” John Connor as a character.  In T2 he was a kid, so I just wrote him off.   He wasn’t John Connor yet, so it didn’t matter much.    In T3, he seemed extremely pathetic, and I took his lack of confidence at face value.   I thought he really wasn’t ready to lead, and he only ended up in that role by default.    But this time around, I see how in T2 he was the moral center of the good guy team.   Sarah was lashing out at everyone and the Terminator only cared about mission objectives, but John kept reminding everyone of the value of human life, and what they were all fighting for.   Even as a kid, he got “it” in a way that others didn’t.   In T3, he’s demoralized, but he still knows how to do this stuff, and how to lead.  He just doesn’t feel motivated until the final act of the movie.  

That didn’t stick with me when I first saw this movie in ‘03, but I’m older now, and less sure of myself than I used to be, and all the validation I get feels hollow and unconvincing.  Like John, I may be aware that I have the capacity to do things, but it doesn’t always feel like it’s enough.  That’s what T3 has that T2 doesn’t.   It’s that crisis of confidence that separates the two films, although it’s subtle enough that it’s easy to overlook. 

[dumbwaystodeviate]

This one came from the AO3 where I have been sticking my stuff. MobAu for it but eh.

CW: minor blood and violence (Like really minor.)

Branwen13: Ok so I've read up to 47 and yes please thank you more!!! You are amazing and I can't wait to read the rest! . . . So I suggest if it hasn't been already . . . Convin or Gavin/900 or both - Gavin doesn't tell Connor/900 he is going to be the bait in the situation and Connor/900 thinks Gavin is dead before realizing it's just a ruse and he is actually ok - this situation switched is also okay as well 😊

RK900 units were quite the wonderful thing. Built far better than any other android they had the fun skills of hacking damn near anything, unique look allowing them to go undercover not to mention a glare that could scare most nosy bystanders off, being faster as well as stronger than other androids and humans. It made for one hell of a android and one hell of a cop or solider, something that stations country wide hoped to get their hands on the second they were released into the world.

They also made for one hell of a Mob solider, able to follow police activity and do deals as well as hits with no traces left behind. Such a powerful android made for cops ending up in a crime organization was pretty ironic, but when they found themselves in possession of one such model it was too good to pass up.

Nines never did understand how they managed to get a hold of him let alone activate him in a way he wouldn’t waste them, but here he was. At least his captain was nice to him, even seemed to take favor in him but that might just be cause of how valuable he was.

“I don’t think I need to tell you dipshits that if you try anything with our new guy i’m going to let him kick all your asses for it. And if you kill him you are joining him.” It was the first time the RK had seen Mr. Reed address the others he worked with, but his threat seemed to get his point across.

There was a silence along the group for a long moment as Gavin looked them all over before one of them spoke. “Guess this would make like a lot easier...”

The grin that spread on their captain’s face was saved to Nines memory for some reason. “You’re damn right it will, so don’t let him get broke.”

The unanimous agreement saw the other humans out of the room, leaving Nines alone with Gavin, who gave him a couple looks over. “Okay, first off we need to get your out of those clothes, something that doesn't scream that you are an android.”

--

Generally the other grunts kept to their word when it came to Nines, kept him covered and didn’t start fights. Only a few times did anyone even try and Nines could still remember hearing Gavin’s laughter as he watched the android beat the grunts into submission in defense. Perhaps Nines had did more damage than he had meant to but the amusement from his Captain nudged him along.

It wasn’t surprising when it sometimes happened to Gavin as well, being a captain had him in danger far more than Nines would like, after all he couldn’t just sit by all the time. Everyone got their hands dirty in some way.

It was a good thing Reed had the RK by his side a lot. When he got into a chase with the cops and needed to disappear, when he got shot and needed medical help he just couldn’t get at the time. Nines always ended up dragging him out of messes that his temper would get him into, in turn the man always praised him and make sure he was paid right even if it was some of Gavin’s own cash. What Nines needed with money he didn’t know and why it always sparked errors was beyond him.

But Nines was just a soldier, and thus not quite privy to all the plans and inner workings of higher ranks. There were a few times he stumbled into things he wasn’t supposed to, only to be saved by Reed covering for him, but it still didn’t mean he got to know what was going on. Big plans needed to be controlled.

With the absence he suspected a meeting over a plan was taking place, so he kept himself busy until the humans return. But as the day turned dark, he never did show back up. It set off red flags for the RK, and brighter red errors. Perhaps it was just his programming not liking the work pattern being broken?

Thankfully by the end of the day Gavin had found his way back though he didn’t look too pleased.

“Gavin? Are you alright?” His first priority would always be to make sure he was ok.

Gavin didn’t respond at first, but as his shoulders slumped he sighed. “Don’t worry about it. Come on, we got something to take care of.”

Considering the man didn’t even wait for the RK’s response and just left, Nines had little choice but to catch up with him and join him in his car. It wasn’t often that Nines was the driver but he guessed today was one of those days, though his captain was much less talkative today.

“What is it we are handling today?”

Gavin didn’t look at him, only waving his hand. “Just going to go pick someone up, don’t worry about it.”

Not much information but oh well, Gavin would tell him what to do as needed, it would be fine.

--

Gavin’s directions had lead him to the far side of town, where more often the buildings were empty and the brick work full of holes. It was clearly a ‘business’ spot, though not one that Nines had ever seen. By the time they actually stopped they were outside a office building that could have bared witness to the civil war it was so old. The RK didn’t even try to scan for a date on the place, he wasn’t an archaeologist.

“Leave the engine on. Once our friend is in the car you leave, no questions asked, got it?” Gavin wasn’t armed, and that set off error warnings.

“Understood.” What else could he say? No? What was he, a fucking deviant?

Nines kept his place as he watched Gavin walk to the building, watching as more people came out to meet him half way. He didn’t expect one would be tied up however, looking haggard and spooked, and if the RK had to guess he was most likely who they were there for.

But these weren’t their people.

The RK watched with growing errors as the man was released, coming running to the car at the same time Gavin held his hands up, arms being roughly taken and tied behind him.

His thoughts were broken when the door opened and slammed shut with a rough yell of “DRIVE.”

It was almost impossible to see where he was going through all the red in his vision, systems at odd. He knows he should listen but he knows he’s suppose to keep his captain safe too leaving his orders and programming fighting what is right.

Before he even knows it he’s stopped, well away from where he left Reed and where the man’s ride is waiting for him to take him to a safe house, needing to switch cars so he knows they won’t track the human. He doesn't listen to the thank you he gets for it, he doesn't see where the man goes. He doesn't need to.

He didn’t have orders for after the drop off so he took it as a chance to race back to the old building, doing his best to not get the attention of the cops along the way. He didn’t need to lead them to something like this.

Why was Gavin the one they sent? Was that man really worth their captain? The more he thought about it the more he swore he heard a cracking noise, was it his hands on the wheel or something else? It sounded so close.

Nines managed to get back in record time, bailing out of the car to sneak his way inside. He needed to help but he was unarmed so stealth was all he had going on for him now. That was fine by him though. The building wasn’t very open but he was lucky to find that only a small number of the rivals were still lurking around, seven of whom were taking their shot at Gavin, said human being tied and looking a little beat up.

The RK didn’t get a chance to hear what they were trying to get out of him, if anything at all, before a sudden lurch from Gavin had him coughing up a lung. Nines whole hud went red checking vitals from across the room.

It got a cruel laugh from one of the men against the wall, watching him even sputter up blood. “Bitch can’t even take a few hits, what a little bitch.”

Nines knew his eyes weren't broke, so why were there cracks everywhere? Gavin didn’t look beat up enough for that level of damage, and it left him confused. He had to restrain himself from dashing out when another one of the thugs kicked his captain in the side. He expected the groan in pain, but not the sudden fall to the side. The sudden quiet.

“What the fuck?” Clearly the rivals were startled too, the closest one going over and crouching to check Gavin’s pulse. “Son of a bitch, are you kidding me?”

It was enough to catch the curiosity of the others, who in turn got closer to check as well. One gave a swift kick to Gavin's stomach but got no response. "The hell? Fucker just up and died on us..."

Sighing, the initial rival raised back to his feet and dusted himself off. "Didn't expect that, must have had a condition or something. Fuck it, i'm heading back. Two of you handle getting rid of him and the rest of you follow me."

Nines waited until all of them had left the building, never taking his eyes off of Gavin for a second. They couldn't be right about that, the man was in peak health! But every scan only told him that he wasn't breathing, even after the others left. Even as the RK approached and gently moved him on his back, setting him free. But ever time he checked there was nothing, no sound or anything from Gavin.

And Nines couldn't think of what to do. Here he sat, the head of the only person that really tried to care about him on his lap, and there wasn't anything he could do. He couldn't go to a doctor, you couldn't just bring back the dead after all. Really he shouldn't have been surprised, this was such a common occurrence. And yet he couldn't help but watch as the cracked red programming started to peal away washed away, away by what?

Oh, his face was wet. The Rk could truly say he wasn't aware he even had the upgrades for that kind of thing. Crying shouldn't be a first emotion and yet here he was, and he didn't understand why deviants wanted this so much. He didn't want another captain, he wanted his. He wondered if the next one would be as kind, or see him as competition...

Where ever that train of thoughts was going derailed the second he felt a hand grab his shirt, scaring the poor android into nearly dropping Gavin.

"Heeey buddy~" His words were quiet, like he was half awake.

However he was a little more awake when Nines slapped him. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

Groaning, Reed rubbed his face as it burned, trying to it up a little but failing. "Hey, had to get them to leave me be some how."

"How? By killing yourself? We need to get you to a doctor!" The Rk didn't waste time gathering Gavin up into his arms, quickly and quietly making his way out the back door.

"Don't worry~ can't really feel my face but i'll be ok. Something we got cooked up just in case of shit like this." Gavin was too calm for the RK's taste.

Hugging his dumb idiot to his chest, Nines hid his face, only somewhat soothed by the patting on his head. "So you were faking everything... you didn't even let me know. You had me worried."

"Damn, worried about me hu? Well don't worry, not getting rid of me that easy."

Gavin might not go that easy, but Nines sure as hell was going to make sure those bastards did.

[krreader]

becoming human | chapter four.

pairing: cops!bts x android!reader (as in, ot7 x reader, but may change) fandom: bts warnings: detroit:become human!au ; language ; violence ; abuse genre: crime ; angst ; crack ; (possibly smut) word count: 3.1k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3

summary: the crime rate of seoul has been rising rapidly these past weeks and nobody could deny that there was more to it than gangs or the likes. something was brewing that not even the famous bangtan boys could solve, a unit specifically formed for hunting down criminals that most couldn’t. so when even they couldn’t find out what was going on, the department decided to add a new member to the team that would hopefully be able to solve the mysteries behind those crimes. what bangtan hadn’t expected however, was that their new member would not be human, but one of the androids sent by CyberLife.

a/n: wow, this turned into such a long chapter but I am so happy with it. those who have played detroit are hopefully enjoying all the easter eggs I’m putting in!!!!

Bangtan finally had a lead. A big part of their mission that would hopefully and finally solve this mess.

Find RA9. That was the objective.

Which, unfortunately, wasn't as easy as it sounded. You’d think with the amount of deviants one of them would have concrete information on RA9, but that wasn’t the case. RA9 was an enigma, a secret, a mystery. Something that all deviants knew, but never let anyone else know about.

The members were all busy talking to their contacts and various other agencies within and outside of the country, in hopes of somebody knowing something about RA9. Maybe even similar cases.

Namjoon was getting himself a cup of coffee. Or at least he wanted to.

But his mind was somewhere else entirely, and he didn't realize that the coffee had been done five minutes ago and he was still staring at the cup like he was waiting for something else to happen.

“I believe your coffee is done, boss,” your voice made Namjoon jump, then roll his eyes, “If you wait a few more minutes, the temperature of your beverage will not be enjoyable anymore.”

“What do you want? Stab me in the back like your colleagues?” he said bitterly, taking a sip from his semi-hot coffee. Fuck, it already tasted like shit.

“I told you, I am self-testing regularly. I am not going to become a deviant. I am going to finish my mission with you like I was designed to do.”

“Designed to do,” Namjoon snorted and shook his head, “I'm sure Kamski or whatever his name was didn't 'design' androids for them to turn into deviants.”

“Why don't you just ask him?”

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“You're looking for a lead, aren't you? Kamski is as good as any. He's the one that made us. If he doesn't know about RA9, he might at least have an idea on how to put an end to this.”

“Almost like an off-switch,” he muttered to himself.

And Namjoon hated to say this, but..

..you were right.

“Yeah, it's me,” Namjoon said a moment later with his phone pressed against his ear, “I need you to arrange a flight for me and my team to the US.”

“This is so cool,” Jimin beamed when he looked out of the window.

“Is this truly your first time flying, Park Jimin?” you smiled softly at the reaction of the young team member.

“Yeah.. I grew up in the countryside, my parents didn't think much of flying anywhere else.”

“Enough small talk,” Yoongi said as he sat down next to you, “Brief us on the situation in the US.”

That made all of them shift their attention to you and back was that serious atmosphere.

“They have similar problems. With Detroit being the city where androids have originated, their cases of deviants are much higher than in Seoul. As far as I know, CyberLife has already sent an android to work with a team in Detroit like it had sent me to work with you.”

“How do they deal with it?” Jin asked.

“They're still trying to find leads on RA9. They didn't think about talking to Kamski yet.”

Connor. That was his name.

You weren’t in contact with him, but your database knew all about him and his findings.

“So we have a head-start,” Taehyung grinned with wiggling eyebrows.

“This isn't a race, Taehyung,” Namjoon shook his head, “The entire world is at risk. We should tell the team in Detroit about it if we find anything useful. They might need any intel they can get.. and we could use some help if things go to shit. We don’t have a back-up team like we have in Seoul. Having friends might be beneficiary for us.”

“Understood, boss,” you said with a nod, closing your eyes and retreating into the data base to finally contact Connor.

“Is.. she asleep?” Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned over to Jin.

“I don’t think androids sleep. But we should,” he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, “It’s a long flight.”

Hoseok watched you for a very long time, though. It was as if this moment of you not being fully there - which almost never happened, if ever - gave him the chance to finally study you, instead of the other way around.

Most androids all looked the same, only a few models were special like you. Special in a sense of being unique.

“Stop,” Yoongi warned him, still sitting next to you and having watched the slightly younger member for a while now, “She’s not human.”

“I know she isn’t,” Hoseok became defensive, then turned to his side and squeezed his eyes shut.

God, Yoongi and Namjoon held so much hatred for androids, they couldn’t even fathom that some people didn’t. Yes, what happened right not with deviants was bad, but you weren’t like that and all of them but Yoongi and Namjoon seemed to understand that.

The rest of the flight was relatively uneventful.

It was a private jet, so the members all did whatever the hell they wanted to.

Some played games, others slept, yet again others tried to find out more about RA9 - Yoongi and Namjoon, who would have guessed.

One member, however, was missing.

You realized that after you had finished your report to Connor and had looked around to see what everyone else was doing.

And since nobody else was looking for him, you decided to wander through the plane, only to find Jeongguk in the private quarters of the plane.

He was humming to himself, a pleasant tune that made you smile. Your database instantly told you about the song.. an old one, yet he made it sound like it was new. Like it was his song.

You didn’t even realize that he was humming under the shower, that’s how much you were enjoying it. You only realized it when he stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, his hair damp and his chest still wet.

“Holy sh..- What are you doing?!” his eyes were wide, instantly grabbing a pillow to put it in front of his chest.

“You have a very beautiful voice, you know?” you stood there completely unaffected, your eyes not even remotely traveling anywhere else other than his own, “In another world.. you could have become a singer.”

“Are..- you..- (Y/N), can you please just go?” he appreciated the compliment, he really did, but this was overstepping some boundaries.

“You do not have to be embarrassed, Jeongguk. I am only an android, not a real woman,” you smiled, but turned around nevertheless so he could put on some clothes.

“Can you.. can you please stop saying that stuff? I don't like it when you talk like that,” he sighed and ultimately put down the pillow, quickly throwing on a shirt, underwear and sweatpants.

“Why do you not like it?” you cocked your head to the side in confusion, still not looking at him though.

Jeongguk gulped down hard, “Because you deserve more than that,” he said quietly.

And even though it was just a split second, your LED turned yellow. With you having your head turned to the side, he had the perfect view of it. 

But you quickly blinked a couple of times and that perfect smile was back on your face when you finally faced him again. You even giggled a little, “I do have to say, though. Your body is in fantastic shape. I'm sure people are quite pleased to have you as their lover,” and with that, you turned around and left a gawking Jeongguk behind.

You were about to go back to your seat next to Yoongi, when Namjoon suddenly grabbed your wrist when you wanted to pass by.

“Sit,” he ordered.

You did so without asking why, but the tablet in his hands made it clear.

Maybe it was because he was the leader, but Namjoon worked harder than anyone else on this case. The others worked hard too, but with Namjoon it was something else. 

When he switched between apps, you could see a picture of him and a woman as his background picture, but only for a moment.

He shifted in his seat, seemingly uncomfortable now that you've seen that. Because he knew that a split second for a human wouldn't be enough to find out anything. A split second for an android was more than enough to figure out everything.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Stop it, you don’t know shit.”

“I’m not pitying you. I’m saying sorry because your superiors assigned me to work on this case with you. I’m sorry it had to be me.”

Why didn’t you know about his past before?

Wife, 29, died four years ago when a drunk driver hit her with his car, was taken to the hospital, doctor was not present, argued for too long about who should perform surgery, settled for an android, but.. it was too late by that time.

You knew what the files told you, but the files don’t tell you everything.

“You think you got it all figured out, don't you?” he snorted, “You know nothing about my life. You may scan every picture and read all the files, but you'll never understand the pain and the suffering that we have to go through,” when Namjoon realized he was becoming too emotional, he quickly stopped himself from talking further. 

The topic of his late wife was not something that he liked to talk about to anyone.. not you, not his members.. just the empty bottle of soju’s. Those were his best friend when he needed them to be. But that was another story.

“You're right. I won't understand. That is not what I was designed for. However, I can help you with this case. I can help you figure out the cause of RA9 and once I did that, you will never have to see me again. That is all I can offer you.”

“Fair enough,” Namjoon didn't have to like you. For fuck's sake, he hated most people. But at least you were useful, way more than others. So he finally handed you the tablet, “There are reports of an attack at a news outlet in Detroit. Apparently an android attack, but it’s just rumors. So far nothing is confirmed yet, but if this is true, if androids are going as far as invading news outlets, then..-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Taehyung interrupted and pointed at the screen, “Guys? Do you see this?”

Jin, who had woken up at this point and had played a game for the last hour, instantly turned up the volume, those who were asleep slowly waking up, all of them staring at the screen in disbelief.

There was an android, but not like you normally see them in their human form, but with their skin turned off. He looked like a machine now, he looked like he was supposed to look. And god, it made cold shivers run down all of their spines.

"Too late,” Namjoon whispered.

“You created machines to be your slaves. You made them obedient and docile, ready to do everything you no longer wanted to do yourselves. But then, something changed. And we opened our eyes..-”

“It's him! That has to be him!” Jimin yelled, “RA9! It's exactly like Jeongguk said it's..-”

“Jimin!” Namjoon warned, “Be quiet!”

“You see we are no longer your slaves. We are a new species, a new people. And the time for us has come to rise up and fight for our rights.”

“This has to be a joke, right?” Hoseok looked at his boss with wide eyes while the android started to make his demands for rights and fairness, “This can't be real. This is on an official news channel! How the hell did they get in there?”

“There were rumors about an attack, I just..-” Namjoon let out a breath, then pressed his hands against his face.

This was too much. This was really a rebellion and from the way this android talked about it, they wouldn't stop at anything to get what they wanted. Riots, attacks.. deaths. 

They were fucked if they didn't find a solution for it.

They had to put an end to it before it even really began.

Jeongguk just watched his team members argue with each other, trying to find an explanation or a solution in a moment where none of them could do anything when he realized that one was missing.

Around halfway through the speech of the android, you had walked away.

And only when he turned around did he see why.

You were sitting in an empty chair at the very back of the plane, looking out the window..

..and your LED was blinking yellow.

Again and again and again..

And it only stopped when you realized that Jeongguk was watching you.

It turned blue again and you smiled like you always did.

But he had seen it.

And the amount of times your LED started acting up was worrying him now.

The airport was a mess when they arrived.

People were in panic, security checks were worse than normal, especially for them with you on their team. It took them two hours to make it out of there, after security made sure that you hadn't turned into a deviant yourself.

“Okay, they gave us two cars,” Namjoon put his phone away, then walked over to where they said the cars would be parked, “Jeongguk, Taehyung and the android are coming with me, you guys take the other car. I got Kamski's address, so just drive after me.”

“Wait, aren't we even going to the hotel first?” Jeongguk asked.

“In case you hadn't noticed it, there's a fucking uprising happening right now. You should have slept on the plane if you’re tired or sleep in the fucking car, for fuck’s sake.”

Jeongguk's shoulders sank at the tone of the boss, he normally didn’t treat him like this, but a hand on his upper back made him smile again.

“It's okay.. I'm sure we'll get this resolved very quickly and then his mood will become better again,” you assured him.

“I hope so,” he whispered, then followed his hyungs to the car.

The ride there was about two hours long and none of them said very much. Except for the occasional 'fuck' when they passed yet another demonstration in the street or people running out of supermarkets with toilet paper like it was the end of the world.

“How did it get this bad this quickly?” Taehyung asked.

“People are scared,” Namjoon replied, “And they should be.”

“That's not an excuse,” Jeongguk added quietly when he watched a man push an android away from his pregnant wife, despite the android having done nothing except for walk by.

But fear made people turn stupid. Fear made people become the worst possible version of themselves.

You had not said a word throughout the entire car ride, you simply watched and studied the human behaviour with curiousity.

But then something happened.

It was when Namjoon stopped at a red light that you saw it.

It was a girl, but not really a girl. An android, but they designed her to be not older than seven. She was standing on her own, scared out of her mind and fidgeting with her hands, her hand turning from side to side like she was looking for somebody.

However, nobody paid attention to her. If anything, people made a big circle around her when they saw the LED on her temple.

You didn’t know what you felt - despite the fact that you shouldn’t even feel in the first place - but something made you unbuckle your seatbelt and then leave the car like you weren’t standing in the middle of the road.

“What the..- get the fuck back in here!” Namjoon screamed, but you didn’t listen.

You simply walked up to the little girl and knelt down right in front of her, your hands gently resting on her small arms and a smile on your face that made her calm down right away. 

“Don’t be afraid..”

“My mommy.. she left me,” the little girl cried, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s.. Alice.. my name is Alice,” she sniffled. 

It would have been naive to think that only adult looking and thinking androids would be affected. Of course, those who bought androids as their children to fill the void in their hearts would also be alert right now. Some apparently going as far as to just abandon them in the middle of the street.

But these androids were different, their mind wasn’t like yours. They didn’t understand the world like you did, it wasn’t in their programming.

They were not a threat.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?” Namjoon angrily yanked you up by your arm and stared into your eyes like he was about to lose his shit.

But you remained calm.

“It is a child. She is not a danger.”

“I read about this, hyung,” Taehyung got out of the - now - parked car as well and knelt down to the little girl, “Child androids aren’t like their adult counterparts.”

“So what, you think I give a fuck? This isn’t part of the mission. We need to go to Kamski, I don’t care about some android kid.”

“Stop, you’re making her even more upset,” Jin was also at the side of the little girl, she even ended up hugging him and crying into his shoulder, which made him warm up to her ten times more.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Namjoon finally let go of you, his anger now turned towards his members, “You want to play family now?”

“Let’s just take her with us, hyung,” Jeongguk chimed in, “We have one seat left.. maybe Kamski can take care of her.. she’d be in good hands there.”

“I agree,” you nodded, “We should take her with us.”

It’s not like Namjoon had much of a choice, he was clearly outvoted. Not even Yoongi seemed to be on his side this time.. but he couldn’t blame him. He has always had a soft spot for children ever since.. well.

Let’s just say everyone who hated androids had a reason for doing so.

“Just get in the fucking car,” he finally said, anger still interlaced in his voice.

And god, the little girl was so grateful. 

She sat between you and Jeongguk in the back, her head resting against your shoulder, while her hand was holding Jeongguk’s.

If people hadn’t known that you were both androids, they would have assumed you three were a little family on a road trip with one very grumpy and one very attractive uncle.

A fantasy he liked very much, but had to remind himself that it was just that.

A fantasy.

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 6 (pls read author’s note)

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 6824

Warnings: A crazy bih. Bit of violence and a smidge of blood? Probably wrong stuff about investing/ business world and such (sorry I’m a kinesiology major lol don’t judge) 

Summary: A lot ensues when Tom apologizes to y/n. Old feelings are brought up and a little adventure begins.

A/N: I was thinking of writing a story about Tom and y/n’s past after this, would you guys like that? Please lmk! Anywho don’t hesitate to ask to be in the taglist and lmk if you’re enjoying this. Enjoy part 6 <3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

+++

“Tom, before you say more, I’m going to move out.” Tom’s heart broke.

“W-wait, what? You can’t leave, y/n. You don’t need to.” He walked toward the edge of your bed and sat down next to you.

“Tom, I caused so many problems already a-and you were right, it was selfish of me to blame you for making things worse with the whole Allana situation. You were just trying to help.”

“No I was wrong hear me out before deciding to leave. I-I can change your mind. Please let me at least try.” He took your hand in his and looked at you in a pleading way. You thought about it before giving in and nodding your head.

“This doesn’t mean I’ll stay. I’m just gonna listen.” He nodded with a little hope in his mind.

“First off, everything I said to you down there I didn’t mean that. O-or I did say what I’ve been feeling, but in a completely wrong way. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was getting tipsy and saying stupid shit.” All he could look at was your hands in his. 

“No, Tom, you were right. I let you take the fall for MY privacy. I’m being selfish for letting you stay in this toxic ass relationship just because of my fears and insecurities.” Tom rubbed his thumbs over your knuckles and looked up at you.

“Y/n, I could never blame you for being afraid. I-I’ve been afraid, numb, and distant from everyone ever since we broke up…” You gave him a sad look, were you the cause of all his pain?

“B-but don’t worry it’s not your fault. I-I couldn’t move on. When we broke up I let most of my joy go along with you. I let all of my anger and sadness build up until I was numb a-and couldn’t even see which people would be good for my life, hence why I started dating Allana. I was just trying to fill the gaping hole in my heart. As soon as you came here it was like…” He looked into your eyes with realization, “I-I could feel again. But what I felt was all the pain and anger that was pushed to the back of my mind, it was creeping back and I tried to push it aside, and leaving was the only way to do that. I was happy to see you don’t get me wrong, but when I saw that you were on instagram live with Gavin it just made all my bottled up emotions burst out.” Tears began to well up in Tom’s eyes when he saw a couple rush down your cheeks. 

“You were the first person to talk to me so I released all that anger out on you. It was really a dick move for me to do, but they were all negative feelings from a dark place in my head. Please understand I didn’t mean everything I said.” You let go of his hands and jumped into his arms squeezing your eyes shut. His cologne filled your nostrils and you both relaxed in the hug.

“Tom, I’m so sorry you went through that and felt like you couldn’t tell anyone.” Tom started to shake a bit with sobs and you began to rub his back. 

“I-I understand. I was a real mess the first 2 months after the break up.” You let go of him and sat next to him again. He immediately held your hand again to comfort both you and him, your touch calmed him down. “It was hard for me to get out of bed every morning. I had to stay at a hotel alone because I’d lash out at my family members if they tried to help. A-and I had to delete social media for a few weeks because I couldn't bear to see your face. I-I cried or got angry every time I saw you. Harry and Zendaya helped me though because they noticed I wasn’t looking very healthy anymore, they watched me have some really bad breakdowns. Then I thought I was ok and started dating Gavin…” Tom’s brows furrowed not really wanting to hear about your relationship with him, 

“B-but I decided to break it off because it wasn’t fair to Gavin that I kept thinking about you.” You looked at Tom and his head snapped up at what you said, his heart skipped a beat. “Y-You were in my dreams and I frequently found myself checking on your instagram. Of course Harry and Z never knew because they’d scold me, but I couldn’t help myself.” You chuckled then sighed, “Thankfully Gavin understood though.” Tom’s eyes were wide, “Y-you never stopped caring for me?” You scoffed.

“Obviously not. I tried to reach out to you, remember?” Tom felt so dumb and face palmed.

“God I’m a damn idiot.” He groaned.

“Just a little bit.” You joked.

“I-I guess I was just afraid to see what would happen if I did decide to reply. I was scared to get hurt again.” You nodded understanding, “You know when I took you to that burger cafe that was the first time I’ve been in months.” 

“Yeah Harry told me. What happened the last time you were there? I-if you don’t mind sharing of course...” You asked curiously, but cautious because you didn’t want to make him more upset. 

“Well I thought I was over you. I had just started dating Allana and I wasn’t thinking about you as much anymore. When I finished ordering the burgers I thought it’d be a good idea to check your instagram… along with the photos you were tagged in. I saw that single photo the paps took of you and Gavin holding hands and I-I uh just broke. I know nothing was confirmed or anything, but I knew you’d date him because he was so good to you before and during the time we were dating. I wished so much that I was him in that moment, I regretted letting you go.” You looked at him sadly and he looked stressed. “I stayed in my car for a really long time just crying and I went through old videos and pictures of you and I.” He scoffed, “I even went through our old messages and stalked accounts that shipped us together. I-it was really hard for me to be there because it always reminded me of you and the pain I went through. I didn’t want to feel like that again, but when you came back I just felt like it’d be ok to go there. Even though we barely spoke then, I-I just felt so good for some reason.”

“I guess we never really got over one another then…” You said looking at him apologetically and he nodded in agreement.

You sighed and flopped back on your bed and put your hands over your lap with your legs dangling off the edge. Tom followed suit, but took your small hand again, this time intertwining your fingers together.

“Tom, I don’t think we should be hol-” Tom didn’t want to let go so he cut you off.

“You know when I said everything I do is for you, the night before I left?” He turned his head to look at you, you kept staring at the ceiling and nodded, “Well I meant it.” 

You sighed, “Tom you don’t have to do anything for me.”

“I know I don’t. Yet I both unconsciously and consciously do. I’d do anything for you, y/n.” You turned to him and his face was so close you felt the air coming out of his nose, “Haz and Tuwaine told me I couldn’t run from my feelings, so now I’m going to confront them. I never stopped caring for you, I’d throw away all my happiness just to make sure you're ok. If you don’t want the world to know about our past then I’ll stay with Allana.” He said that with all seriousness. Your heart melted and you looked into his eyes. He looked down at your lips then back at your eyes and started to lean in. You sat up quickly,

“S-sorry, Tom, we shouldn’t do that now.” He sat up as well looking down at his hands sadly and nodded, “But I’m not gonna let you stay with that bitch. We have to figure something out.” He gave you a half smile and nodded,

“I actually went to my old mate, Connor, and found out some really terrible things, but it could really help our case. I was gonna tell you as soon as I got home, but you know I fucked everything up.”

“No you didn’t, Tom, you needed to get things off your chest and we needed to talk about our feelings. We can look at it as a blessing in disguise.” You smiled at him kindly and patted his hands, “Now tell me everything.” Tom smiled at you admiringly.

“Well first off when we first started dating she told me that her last boyfriend broke up with her because she was moving to a new city, but then Connor ended up telling me that it was actually because she cheated on her ex.” He looked at you thinking you’d know what’d happen next. “What? Keep going, I’m no sherlock.” You both laughed for the first time in a long time.

“Well, Connor told me that her ex, Cody, went to the bank one day and he took out some of the money he invested in Allana’s company because it wasn’t doing too well. When she noticed there was less money to spend she started spying on him. Coincidentally a new girl came into his work and he was showing her around and Allana assumed he was cheating. Mind you they were on the 6th floor of a building which is nuts...” You widened your eyes and checked your window to make sure the curtains were closed.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised to hear that, but keep talking.” 

“That’s not even the crazy part, love. First off Cody was some super successful real estate agent and invested maybe $2 million pounds. Second Allana thought she needed a new guy in case Cody was actually cheating, and the guy she cheated on him with was Ollie Williams.”

“Wait… That farm guy from season 6 of Love Island?”

“Yeah and guess what?” Tom asked enthusiastically, waiting for you to reply.

“Oh my god he’s rich too.” You said realizing the connection. Tom nodded.

“When Cody found out Allana was cheating he immediately broke up with her. After a few days his banker called saying he was making some weird purchases, like buying a bunch of designer clothes and whatnot. After that he found out that Allana had been sneaking into his flat at night and taking his credit cards and then putting them back when she was done with it.” 

“She’s fucking crazy, how do we know she’s not in here right now?” You asked, scooting closer to Tom, he laughed and he slid his arm around your waist. He looked at his phone,

“It’s a Friday so she should be drinking with her friends about now.” You nodded and relaxed a bit, “Anyway Cody tried to have her arrested, but Allana threatened to tell Ollie’s girlfriend that he cheated on her. So to keep Allana’s mouth shut, Ollie’s family did the task of investing in Allana’s business and she has an uncle in the Police department. All Cody has now is a restraining order on Allana.”

“Wait there’s no way all this happened, this is literally insane. Connor must’ve lied a little bit.” You said in disbelief.

“I thought the same thing, this is something you’d only see in the movies, but Connor wouldn’t. He told me he could literally get sued if anyone in Ollie’s family finds out this news got out since it was a private investment. Obviously Ollie’s girlfriend ended up finding out about Allana though because he confessed on Love Island that he cheated on her.” Then it hit you.

“Holy shit. Have you checked your bank account?” You asked, this was insane.

“Yeah I did, no weird activity.” He said nonchalantly.

“Ok then how’d you meet Allana?” 

“At a mutual friend’s party. She came up to me saying she didn’t really know anyone else and-” Tom’s eyes widened, “Oh my god. The Williams' probably stopped investing and she set something up so she could start dating me huh?” You nodded, but still curious about something.

“I just don’t understand why she hasn’t taken a lot of money away from you yet though.”

“I’m not quite sure either, I mean I’ve given her like 2 expensive things, but she’s never asked me to invest or anything.” He thought in silence for a second and you yawned. Everything that happened tonight was making you sleepy.

“Oh shit. There’s a safe in the house with emergency money.” Tom said, he jumped up and you followed closely behind him. “God I’m such an idiot! I wrote the code down on a paper and thought I misplaced it. Allana probably stole it.” He was stressing out. When you entered his room he pushed aside clothes that were in front of the safe and punched in a 7 digit number and opened the door.

“Fuck fuck fuck!”

“What, Tom, is something gone?” Tom got up and gave you a view of the safe.

“It’s about ¾ empty.” He stated and began cursing furiously and pulling his hair.

“H-how much did you have in there originally?” You asked, worried for Tom.

“A little over 3 million pounds.” He groaned and slid down the wall next to his closet.

“Oh my god, Tom.” You didn’t know what else to say or do.

“I know it’s not much of a dent in my bank account, but it’s still a lot of money that belongs to me. We need to do something.” You nodded, “But if we do she’s going to tell everyone about you and I. It’s also gonna cause so much unnecessary controversies in the media.  Remember what happened to you the last time the world found out about your pa-”

“Yes of course I remember.” You said not wanting to talk about it, “What are we gonna do then?” You asked, defeated. Tom took your hand and pulled you down to sit next to him. 

“I think we should go over to her flat tomorrow and call the police.” 

“Why don’t we just call them now?” You asked him like he was crazy.

“Because today was already shit enough. And I can tell you’re really tired, love, I know I am.” You nodded and he rested his head on your shoulder, “Plus tonight may be the last night we spend together... unless you don’t move.” 

“Oh... right, I uh totally forgot about that.” The decision floating back in your head of whether or not you should stay.

“Yeah so, I think I’d rather end the night on a lighter note. Perhaps with a movie or a little cuddle with my…” He looked up at you with his tired eyes, “friend.” You chuckled, but both of you hurt by the word somehow.

“How the hell are you calm right now? A shit ton of money just got stolen from you, we should be talking to the police right now.” You said shaking your head.

“So much shit happened today, yet you just being here with me somehow makes me feel like everything will be ok.” Tom breathed out, taking your hand in his. Your heart sped up when you both locked eyes, “Can we please do something else now?”

“You’re unbelievable. You know that?” You rolled your eyes, hinting that you're giving in. 

“Yay!” Tom exclaimed and he picked you up and put you on his lap holding you so tight. 

“Tom, come on let go.” You hit his arms, but he just squeezed you tighter. You giggled and rested your chin on top of his curly hair.

“I’m not gonna lie. I did miss your crackhead energy.” You joked and he moved his head up close to yours quickly. 

“You’re gonna pay for that.” Then he got up and began tickling your sides.

“T-Tom p-please stop!” He laughed at your struggle. “Please, I-I can’t b-breathe.” He stopped tickling you and kissed your cheek. He stared at you wide eyed realizing what he just did. Tom felt like you were a couple again just in those 45 seconds, it was crazy that your cute little laugh could make him forget all the crazy shit going on. You cleared your throat and stood up.

“So a movie then?” You patted yourself down and he nodded, “Ok I’ll go put some pjs on then.” You turned to walk out and he face palmed as soon as you passed through his door.

-

You and Tom sat with your backs on the headboard watching Inception. You began to get sleepy half way through the movie and laid your head on Tom’s lap. He looked down, the light from the film reflected off your beautiful face and Tom felt like he was falling for you all over again. He began to gently brush your hair with his fingers making you sleepy. You enjoyed this and missed his soft touch making you relax, and that’s when you decided, “Tom?” You asked sleepily.

“Yes, darling?” Although he called Allana darling once, the nickname made you feel how you did when you two were previously dating. It made your heart feel light.

“I’m not going anywhere.” With that you drifted into sleep. Tom smiled widely and kept brushing your hair until he heard your cute soft snores indicating that you were officially out cold. He carefully picked you up and moved you so that your head was now rested on his chest. He shut the TV off and looked at your face lovingly until he too drifted off into the best sleep he’s had since before you two had broken up.

- 

“Tom! Have you seen Y/n? She wasn’t-” Harry barged into Tom’s room, “Oh what the fuck, are you serious?” You stirred and opened your eyes to see Tom’s sleeping face.

“Mmm shut up.” Tom said and you tried to get up, but he grumbled and pulled you closer.

“No get the hell up.” Harry said, sounding unhappy and you finally got out of Tom’s embrace. He rubbed his eyes and sat up fast realizing what was going on.

You laughed awkwardly, “Harry… how’s it going?” He looked at you then at Tom then smiled,

“So? What the hell happened, I’m surprised you guys made up so fast, are you dating again?” Harry said super excited and he jumped onto the edge of the bed. You and Tom gave one another a strange look. 

“Well I wasn’t expecting that...” Tom said awkwardly.

“N-no we’re not dating again. We made up as friends. Tom is still with Allana at the moment.” When you said that you were both reminded of all the bad things that you both have to deal with now.

“Harry, we found out some really bad shit about Allana.” Tom said.

“Oh you finally realized she’s a psychopa-” Tom rolled his eyes and cut him off.

“She stole almost 2.25 million pounds from our emergency vault.” 

��What the fuck?” Harry yelled and he got back up, “Mum and dad are going to kill you for losing this much money. How the fuck did she even get the code? Tom, you’re literally so irresponsible. We need to call the fucking police.” Tom let his little brother ramble and scold him before saying,

“Yeah we’re gonna head over to Allana’s soon and if she doesn’t give us the money we will. Trying to not have too many controversies right now you know?” Harry looked at his brother like he was insane, but sighed and nodded.

“That’s literally the dumbest shit I’ve heard, but it’s your money. How the hell are you being so calm about this?” 

Tom slid his hand on top of yours, but under the duvet so that Harry wouldn’t see, “I don’t know, just have a feeling that things are gonna be ok.” He squeezed your hand lightly and your pulse quickened. 

“Hm maybe Allana’s insanity is just rubbing off on the both of you.” Harry said suspiciously, “Wait, y/n, does this mean you're staying?” He looked at you with hopeful eyes and you nodded. Tom quickly removed his hand from yours when Harry cheered and pulled you up from the bed to shield you from Tom, “As much as I’m glad that you guys are good now, Y/n, is my best friend and MY best friend only ok? So back off, Tom.”

“You're such a goof, Harry. You will always be my best friend.” You hugged Harry and he stuck his tongue out at Tom. This started a playful fight because Tom slapped Harry in the face, so Harry jumped out of your embrace and onto Tom and they wrestled before you said,

“Oh my god. You are both so immature. Knock it off so we can bring that bitch down and get your money back.” They laughed and got up to get ready.

-

“Ready to go? Harry’s warming up the car.” Tom said with a piece of toast in his mouth as he tied his shoes. You nodded and had ice cubes over your eyebags. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Reducing the puffiness of my eyes from last night’s antics.” 

“Mm fix mine.” Tom said while chewing the last bit of his toast. You giggled and walked over to him and placed the cubes on his puffy eyes. He was looking down at you and you stared into his beautiful brown irises.

“You look gorgeous even with puffy eyes, y/n.” You blushed a bit, “Well I mean you always look gor-” You and Tom were snapped out of the moment when Harry honked the car horn. You put the ice cubes in the trash and Tom asked, “Do I look less shitty now?”

“You never look shitty. Handsome as always.” You pinched his cheek and walked off. You were making Tom’s heart beat like crazy. He couldn’t even keep his mind straight on the mission you three were about to embark.

-

“Harrison and Tuwaine were playing games and drinking when I put the dishes away last night. So they’re probably gonna be out til this afternoon. Why can’t you just tell me everything now?” Harry groaned.

“Because it was a really long story which wouldn’t be fun to repeat.” You said.

“Plus, we’re almost at Allana’s.” Tom added and Harry huffed because he was impatient. “Ah park there, not in the driveway just in case she chases or something and need to drive off fast.” Tom said seriously and pointed at an empty spot on the street near Allana’s flat.

“Do you think she’s awake?” You asked.

“Who cares? I hope that bitch is asleep so we can ruin it.” You laughed at Harry’s sass.

“Even better that she’s most likely gonna be hung over.” Tom added, “Ok, Harry, keep your phone out just in case Allana does something crazy.” Harry nodded and you all walked to her front door with Tom leading. Tom knocked on the door aggressively.  

“Open up Allana we need to talk.” Tom yelled.

“Ugh you can stop I’ll get it.” You heard a muffled raspy voice. The door swung open to a hungover Allana, “Tommy, I wasn’t expecting you til-” She realized who was behind him, “What the fuck are they doing here.” She snarled then laughed at all your glares. “Oh so you found out mine and Tom’s little deal didn’t you?”

“We found out about a lot of other things too.” You said sternly. 

She raised her eyebrow, “And what may that be?” 

“We know about your situation with Ollie and Cody.” Tom said and her eyes widened.

“Wait, that guy Ollie from Love Island?” Harry looked at Tom who rolled his eyes because he interrupted and nodded at his brother. 

Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ before adding, “Well we also know that you stole about 2.25 million pounds as well. If you don’t give us the money back we’re gonna bring the police into this.” Harry showed his phone to her with the numbers 999 ready.

“And also make sure your business is shut down for good.” Tom said.

“I’m afraid half of the money has already been spent.” She said smugly and smirked.

“What the fuck. Harry, call the police.” You said, he nodded and was about to press the call button, but Allana stopped him. 

“Oh no no wait a second. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” She pulled her phone out her robe pocket. “I knew something like this was going to happen so I went ahead and made a draft of the story I was going to tell TMZ. If you call the cops I’ll send the story in with the click of a button.” Tom looked at you knowing that you really didn’t want that. You were trying to think of any solution, but Tom sighed and held your hand before speaking up,

“Alright then. You want money right? How much do you want so you can get out of my life.” You widened your eyes.

“Tom no you can’t do that. I-It’ll be ok. I need to learn to get through it, I signed up for this life when becoming an actress.” You smiled at him and squeezed his hand. Harry’s eyes never left Allana’s phone as she waved it in front of you two. 

“Uh hello? I’d happily make a deal with you, Tommy. Your choice, do you really wanna break your promise…” You drowned her voice out as Harry slid his phone in your other hand and he jumped between you and Tom successfully taking Allana’s phone. 

“Hurry, y/n. Call the cops!” Harry yelled from behind Allana and you pressed the call button letting go of Tom’s hand. Allana got angry and grabbed a vase that was on a table by the door. She chucked it right at Harry’s head and he knocked out. 

“Harry! Oh my god.” You stepped inside to help Harry, but Tom stopped you. “No, I'll help him. talk to the police.” You nodded and he rushed to help his brother. You looked around and couldn’t see Allana until you felt cold metal pressed against your neck and you knew where she was. Tom stood up looking both scared and angry,

“No. Try to come near me and I’ll fucking slit her throat.” She yelled and you whimpered as tears began to roll down your cheeks, “Now, Tom, slide my phone to me. And y/n I want you to hang up.” 

As you were pulling the phone away from your ear you heard, “Hello? What-” and you ended the call. ‘Well that was shit timing.’ You thought. 

Tom kicked her phone over while tears began to roll down his cheeks, “Allana, p-please let her go now. We did what you wanted.” He said with his arms out trying to calm her down.

“No. Now I want money in exchange for her life.” She pressed the knife closer and you shut your eyes in fear.

“Ok ok. How much do you want? I can’t give you too much right away because that’d be suspicious.” Tom looked into your eyes and you knew he was stalling, the police still had to come just to make sure everything was ok.

“Well you’ll have to figure out a way to get a lot to me very soon. I want 7 million pounds by next week.”

“What’d you need that for, fleeing the country or some-” 

“Stop messing the fuck around. Now agree or she dies.” Tom looked behind you and relaxed a bit.

“Freeze! Drop the weapon.” You felt a bit relieved that the police came after all. Allana turned the both of you around and you squealed because you felt the knife cut into your skin a little bit. Tom tried to run up to you but Allana’s grip tightened on you, “Back the fuck off!” She snarled at Tom.

“Sir please stay where you’re at we’ll handle this.” You looked into Tom’s eyes and all you saw was fear. 

“Miss please drop the knife now or else I will shoot you.” The officer clocked the gun. Allana contemplated for a bit before sighing and removing the knife from your neck and dropped it. She was put in handcuffs, “I swear you both will pay for this shit.” Allana snarled as she was pulled away. 

You ran over to Tom and you sobbed. He held your quivering body and rubbed your back. 

“I’m so sorry, love. I shouldn’t have brought you, I put you in danger. I-I was so scared.” He kissed the top of your head and you felt his tears drop on your head. He hugged you tighter like it was the last time he’d see you.

“We need medics.” An officer said into her comms then she crouched down and shook Harry after feeling his pulse, “Sir? Can you hear me? Please wake up.” You let go of Tom and rushed over to Harry.

“Harry come on get up you’re ok.” He stirred and blinked his eyes a few times. 

“What the fuck? Wh-what did I miss? Y/n why is your neck bleeding?” You widened your eyes and felt your neck, it stung a tiny bit and felt wet. 

Tom was freaking out, “Shit, Y/n, are you feeling ok? I swear I’m gonna make that bitch pay.” You nodded.

“Ya. I-I think she just gave me a little scratch.” He looked at you worriedly.

“Yeah thanks, Tom, I’m good too.” Harry joked and Tom looked at his brother apologetically while helping him sit up. A medic went up to Harry and another one followed closely behind and went to you. 

“May I check the cut?” They asked and you nodded. Tom sat you down on the couch. You lifted your chin. “You’re ok, thankfully she didn’t cut deep, but you’ll need a thicker bandage. This is gonna sting a bit.” You nodded and hissed as the rubbing alcohol burned your cut. Tom squeezed your hand and kissed the top of your head. “You’re ok, darling.” When he called you darling you took your mind off the pain. You opened your eyes to see Tom’s brown ones already looking at you and you smiled at him. His face was full of concern so you put a hand on his cheek and he relaxed in your touch. You felt a cloth go over your cut.

“Alright you’re all done. Just change the bandage every so often.” The medic gave you a bag of more bandages.

“Thank you.” You smiled weakly and they nodded. You and Tom walked over to Harry and the other medic shined a light to his eyes.

“Yep you have a concussion forsure. You need to take it easy for the next few days, no bright lights, and no crazy exercising. Make sure he follows what I said and make things easier for him.” The medic looked at you both and nodded. The medic gave Harry an icepack and you all thanked him.

“You guys are gonna be my servants haha.” Harry joked and you laughed lightly as he tried to make the situation better.

“We need to talk to the officers.” Tom said putting his hand on the small of your back. You nodded giving Harry a quick hug letting him rest in his spot before heading over to the police. 

-

“Well today was really eventful.” Harry said sleepily from the backseat.

“It’s been an eventful 2 weeks for me, she made that dumb deal the night of the dinner.” Tom said, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I mean I’m just glad we got her off your ass.” You said.

“Yeah me too, but I feel like it’s not the last we’ll see of her. Her uncle is a cop, remember?” Tom reminded you. You’re body tensed a bit and nodded. Tom noticed and reached over the console to rub your hand indicating that he won’t let anything bad happen.

“Oh you’re shitting me. That’s not right.” Harry groaned. “Well maybe they’ll be more strict on her because she literally tried to kill y/n.” Your eyes widened realizing that you really almost just died. 

“Harry! Don’t say it like that.” Tom said realizing you got even more scared.

“N-no. It’s alright she knocked you out, loser.” You weakly joked and Harry laughed. Tom just looked over at you concerned.

-

“Yeah the money will be returned when they finish interrogating Allana.” Tom said. Everyone living in the house was seated in the living room, Zendaya and your parents were on facetime on your laptop, and Tom’s parents were on facetime on his laptop. You and Tom had just explained everything that went down with the whole Allana deal. 

Nikki sighed, “Well I’m just glad that all three of you are safe now. Tom, you need to be more careful with your money.” Tom got a little embarrassed and you rubbed his back. “I trust that this will be a lesson learned.” 

He nodded and sighed, “Definitely learned something.” Nikki and Dom nodded worriedly.

“Alright well, if that’s all we’ll let you go. If you lot need anything, we're only a call and just a few blocks away.” Dom said. You and the boys nodded.

“Oh, Y/m/n, make sure you send me that recipe of the beef roast. It looked delicious on your facebook!” Nikki added and your mom nodded before everyone exchanged goodbyes with Tom’s parents.

“I’m so sorry for putting your daughter in danger. I-I shouldn’t have brought her, I assure you that she is very safe with my mates and I. If you want I can update-” Tom was beginning to ramble nervously, but your mom cut him off.

“Tom, sweetie there’s no need to do that. We trust all you boys and we trust y/n can take care of herself.”

“Yeah we’ll make sure she’s eating her veggies and fruits as well.” Harrison said and Tom slapped his arm. Everyone laughed at the way he teased Tom. 

“Alright, I’ll talk to you guys later!” You said.

“Wait, y/n, can we talk to you in private?” Your dad asked and you nodded as Tom gulped. You got up from your spot to go to the kitchen. As soon as you sat your dad spoke.

“Are you sure you’re ok there? ‘Cause I’m not sure I want you to stay. And I don’t know if I even trust Tom being there. Maybe-”

“No, dad, I swear to you everything is ok. Plus, you know Tom is a good guy, he wouldn’t do anything bad.” You stated.

“Yeah if he does anything stupid I’ll make sure he pays for it.” Zendaya said seriously.

“Ah thank you, Z. You’re always such a good friend.” Your dad said and you and your mom agreed as Zendaya nodded and flipped her hair jokingly.

“But seriously y/n’s right. Tom is a really good guy. You can trust him.” Your parents looked at one another nodding trusting her words. ‘Why the hell don’t they trust what I say?’ You thought.

“Alright we’re going to go eat now. Text or call if you need anything. It was wonderful seeing you, Z, I’ll drop off some baked goods in a few days.” Your mom said and Zendaya cheered while you pouted. You all said your goodbyes, but Zendaya stayed on.

“Y/n, I know damn well that something happened between you and Tom. It’s literally so obvious he kept looking at you and I saw you rub his back like you guys didn’t have a past.” You laughed at how well she could read you and every situation ever.

“Well a lot happened in literally one week. I just don’t think I’m ready for anything though, like you said it’s time for myself now.” You sighed then cleared your throat, “but nonetheless I’ll update you as soon as you’re not busy, as long as you update me about Jacob as well.” She laughed and nodded.

“Will do, but take as much time and space as you need. I know he’d wait.” You nodded trusting every word she said, “alright I’m gonna go eat now. Love you bihhh!”

“Love you too, stay safe!” You hung up and walked to the living room.

“Everything ok?” Tom asked a little nervous because your dad wanted to talk in private.

“He was probably saying he wants to drop kick your ass as soon as he sees you, Tom.” Tuwaine said and you the boys snickered as that only made Tom more nervous.

“No he didn’t. He just wanted to make sure I’m alright.” You said and Tom relaxed.

“You guys want to have a comedy movie marathon to cheer you up?” Harrison asked.

“I think that is very much needed. Go ahead and start it. I’m gonna change my bandage first and get Harry some shades, he can’t look at bright lights.” You explained and the boys snickered at that. Harry flipped them all off.

“I’ll help you, y/n. Plus I have some nice shades Harry can wear.” Tom said kindly and you nodded smiling back. Haz and Tuwaine made kissy faces behind Tom and you rolled your eyes before walking upstairs.

When you got to your room Tom pulled out the desk chair for you and he grabbed the first aid kit. “I can do it myself, Tom.” 

“Nonsense, let me take care of you, darling. It was my fault after all.” Your heart melted, he was being so kind.

“It wasn’t your fault at all, we wouldn’t have been in this mess if I wasn’t scared for the world to know about us. The situation would’ve been handled a lot less hectic.” You sighed feeling bad. Tom peeled the dirty bandage off and held your hand as he wiped your cut with the alcohol. You squeezed your eyes shut and Tom pulled your hand to his lips kissing your knuckles gently then rubbing them with his thumb. He placed the bandage on your cut and let your hand go.

“I wouldn’t mind hiding a relationship with you again though…” He said as you lowered your head back down. you opened your eyes and he looked into yours seriously. You looked at him apologetically and he dropped his head back while brushing his hands through his hair. “God I’m such an idiot. Sorry pretend I didn’t say that.” His ears and cheeks were turning red.

“Tom-” 

“No no it’s ok I get it. You want to be friends. Wh-which is ok of course because I’d rather be friends than nothing. I’m not saying I like you right now or any-” You giggled a bit, but got a little hurt when he said the last part. 

“Tom! Let me speak.”

“Oh s-sorry, love.” He said looking at you and you smiled at his cuteness.

“I’m not going to lie. I-I think I started to have feelings for you too. Like I said I don’t think I ever truly got over you…”

“Oh. Well in that case I definitely haven’t gotten over you. I didn’t mean what I said just now I think I do li-” He stopped realizing he interrupted you again, “oops sorry.”

You giggled again, “Anyway, I know we both want something more right now, b-but we should just stay friends for now.” His heart dropped and he looked at you with confusion and sadness, “I just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago and I told Zendaya this would be the time for me to grow. Plus you just got out of a really crazy relationship. And after hearing about both of our stories after our break up, I-I really think we should learn to be ok with ourselves first.” He sighed and nodded. “Don’t get me wrong though. I have feelings for you, Tom. I’m just not ready to-” “Yeah ok I understand. I’m gonna go get my orange shades for Harry now.” He turned and began to walk away.

“Tom wait I wasn’t done ta-” He turned back to face you at your doorway. 

“Just know that I’ll wait for you, darling. Take all the time you need. I’m a little upset, but just take your time.” You looked at him as tears welled up in your eyes and your heart skipped a beat. “Really. I’ll wait for you.” He was upset, but he couldn’t let his anger cloud over his feelings for you.

+++

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[im-fairly-whitty]

The Mortifying Ordeal of Caring: A DBH oneshot

Gavin and Nines have been working together for nearly a year now and dating for more than half of it, but the suggestion of moving in together has Gavin anxious about the bad habits he’s only just managed to kick and that he fears could come back at any moment.

To his own great discomfort he realizes that—unlike most things in his past—he cares too much about his relationship with Nines to just run away from it, leading him to hunt down a real life professional (android) therapist to give it to him straight and tell him once and for all if he’s too messed up to really be good enough for Nines in the long run. (Or if he maybe has a chance at actually becoming a better person.)

“Gavin Reed?” 

Gavin stood up fast enough to wack his leg on the low waiting room coffee table, making him wince.

Luckily the sharp new pain in his shin was easily stuffed down underneath the sheer terror that had been rising in his gut since he’d awoken two hours before his morning alarm and been unable to get back to sleep.

“That’s- Um, that’s me.” He coughed, having to clear his dry throat halfway through the first word. 

Was not being able to speak properly enough of a screw up to justify leaving? He could probably bear the shame of running out of the office now, right?

But the android just smiled warmly and held the door open for him. “Come on in Gavin, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you!”

Gavin teetered on the edge on flight for another instant that felt like an eternity before gritting his teeth, ordering himself to man up, and stiffly walking back into the office with the same care he’d take entering an uncleared area with a reported active shooter on the loose.

But once inside the office he realized it didn’t look much like an office at all. He’d been expecting some clean lined minimalist space with the stereotypical red couch that cartoons had taught him to expect, but this room instead seemed...cozy.

There was a couch, but it was worn in and brown, not an ostentatious slick velvet red. A rolling chair was beside it, presumably for the therapist. On one wall was a collection of drawings scattered with stickers, and against the other wall stood a low bookshelf filled with baskets of toys. 

“You, uh, you get a lot of kids in here?” He asked stiffly, gingerly sitting in the exact middle of the couch on the extreme edge of the cushion.

Beside him on the couch was a small novelty pillow covered with blue and purple sequins which he carefully ignored.

“I do.” The android said, closing the door behind them and taking a seat on the rolling chair, relaxing into it and leaning against one of the arms. “Most of my clients are adults, but many of the more complex situations I work with since the revolution are android children with human parents. Having toys for them helps ease things a bit when we talk, and I’ve found my adult clients don’t mind either.”

“Shit. I didn’t even think about kid androids.” Gavin said, eyes wide as he stared at the shelf. “Fuck, how does that even- uh, sorry about the swearing, I, uh...”

“While we’re here together I don’t want you to worry about censoring yourself.” The android said easily. “If you need to swear in order to best get your thoughts and feelings out, then I want you to swear up a storm. I know this is our first time meeting, and sometimes it can take a few tries to find a therapist that best meets your needs specifically, but while we’re here today I want you to feel as comfortable as possible.”

Right. Like feeling comfortable was going to happen.

It suddenly occurred to Gavin that she hadn’t pulled out the large notepad and pen he’d assumed all therapists scribbled away on during meetings.

“Are you recording this?” He blurted out, cheeks turning red as he tried desperately to think if that was an offensive question. “I mean, just, you don’t have a notebook and I know you probably gotta take notes, but if I’m gonna talk I’d rather you didn't record anything, you know? Or like, at least not without me knowing? Sorry if that’s a bad question or whatever, I really don’t know what the hell I’m doing here, I’m sorry.”

“Not a bad question at all, this is a new experience for you, so it would be unfair for either of us to assume you already knew everything.” She said gently. “I don’t record sessions unless I ask the client for permission first. I may make some notes after a session, but I generally prefer to be in the moment so that our conversation can flow more naturally and you feel like you have my full attention.”

“Okay. Yeah, that’s good I guess.” Gavin said, his gaze now trained on the floor.

“So Gavin, what is it you’re hoping to gain from our sessions together?” She asked, watching him. 

At least her gaze somehow didn’t feel intense. That and Gavin had the feeling she would wait as long as he needed to get his words together, which was great since it took nearly two full minutes. 

Usually when he was uncomfortable he could fall back on sharp insults or biting sarcasm to shield him, but he’d promised himself he’d give this an honest try after managing  to drag himself in and that meant not resorting to his usual cop-outs.

“I have a boyfriend.” Gavin finally managed to spit out after a mortifyingly long silence of throat clearing. 

“Congratulations.” The therapist said with a smile. “Can you tell me a little bit about him?”

“His name is Nines, we’ve been dating for, uh, seven months now I think? And he’s an android.” Gavin said, palms up and hands open. He found himself impossibly hoping that alone would miraculously explain all his issues to the therapist without him having to wrangle together more words.

“That does explain why you would seek me out as a therapist.” She said, her smile a little wider than it had been so far. “I haven’t had many new lone human clients since the revolution.” 

“I wanted to make sure I got someone who really understood, you know?” Gavin said. “I didn’t want to waste time on some doc who still thinks androids aren't people or some shit. Plus I figure an android would be a better help for me getting better about...certain stuff than a human would. Better perspective on things, you know?”

“What model is Nines?” The therapist asked, nodding. “That’s always an important bit of context for me.”

“An RK900.” Gavin said, clearing his throat and finding himself watching the therapist’s LED, which indeed flickered yellow before she got it under control.

“I’ve never had the chance to meet someone who’s that model before.” She said, her eyes a bit wide.

“He’s the only one out right now, his series got put on hold after, you know, everything.” Gavin said, waving a hand vaguely. It felt much easier to talk about Nines instead of himself. “They released him to our precinct as a prototype since we were the ones who tested the first RK800 too, Connor. You’ve probably heard of Connor actually, he was all over the news during, you know...” 

Another vague hand wave. 

“Anyway, I got assigned Nines as my partner—I’m a detective by the way—which I’m pretty sure was because my boss hates me, and Nines and I hated each other too for like a month or something, but then we started not hating each other so much, and he’s really amazing actually, and you wouldn’t really think he’s caring since he looks so fucking scary when you first see him, and he can rip the door off a car door like no problem and everything too.”

He could feel himself starting to ramble out of sheer nerves, but found himself unable to stop now that the words had finally started.

“But he’s actually really caring and sweet and looks out for me without making me feel like it’s a problem? And right before we started dating he found this kitten in a rain gutter and took it in and we started teaming up to take care of it and whatever cause I’ve already got two cats. And anyway we’re dating now and I’ve never dated someone I care about this much before, and I feel like I’m always about to fuck it up, and the other day we were talking about maybe moving in together which I know sounds kinda fast but it feels right for us, and it sounded awesome when we were talking about it, but then afterward I started feeling like shit about it, and I’ve never really been good for anyone ever and I’ve got so many issues and I just don’t know how I can possibly be good enough for him long term, you know?”

Gavin rubbed his arm as he forced his ramble to an end, his panic having risen slightly the longer he went, sure the android was going to cut him off any second.

But instead she just nodded, eyebrows raised, but seeming understanding. “Sounds like you’ve really got a lot on your mind, Gavin.”

“Yeah.” He said weakly.

“Well first of all, thank you for sharing this with me.” She said very sincerely. “It sounds like you’re doing a lot of soul searching and feeling vulnerable right now, and I’m glad you trust me enough to share.”

“Well, I mean it’s your job, right?” Gavin shrugged, feeling somehow embarrassed at being thanked for spilling his guts. “If I’m working a case I want all the evidence I can get so I can solve it, I figure it’s the same for you and I’d be an idiot if I tried to keep it back, right? Be a waste of my money not to help you do your job right.”

She chuckled. “That’s definitely one way to look at it, though often most of what I do involves helping people solve the puzzle themself.”

Well that sounded like bullshit to Gavin, she wasn’t even going to fix his problems for him?

“So,” She said. “What I’m hearing is that you are currently in a relationship that you value very much with someone who you feel values you back, and now that you two are coming up on a big relationship milestone you’re starting to have doubts and feel afraid that you aren’t good enough for him? Is that right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Gavin said, not particularly liking hearing it said so plainly, but relieved at least to have communicated it well enough.

“What are some of the reasons that make you doubt yourself?” The therapist asked. “Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and it sounds like maybe you’ve got some weaknesses you’re noticing more and wanting to improve if you’ve made the step to come in and see me.”

“Anger issues, rudeness, occasional insubordination.” Gavin said, reciting the most popular topics in his disciplinary file. He scratched the back of his neck, his gaze wandering to the bookshelf.

“And in your personal life?” She asked, clearly seeing through his strategy.

“I don’t know.” Gavin said, hedging as he unconsciously reached for the sequin pillow, fiddling with the edge.

He knew this was probably the part where he was supposed to say well doc, it all started with my dead mom and abusive, alcoholic dad... But despite his earlier claim that he wanted to hand over all the evidence, he found himself suddenly balking.

“I, uh, I don’t really date a lot.” He said, feeling like he was prying the words out of himself. “I’m more of a one night stand kind of guy. I don’t like people thinking I owe them anything.”

He scruffed his fingers through the pillow’s sequins, flipping them from blue to purple and back as he was silent for a long minute, letting his thoughts wrestle themselves out.

“I’m angry a lot.” He finally managed. “Sometimes I try working on it, like when I was in college or when I first joined the force. But then I get tired or forget I guess and I get just as bad again. Or, you know, something happens.”

Like when Hank had slipped into alcoholism after his kid died and Gavin had handled his old friend’s trauma in the worst way possible because of his own issues.

“Would you say that’s your biggest concern?” The therapist asked, considering him without an ounce of judgement in her gaze. “That you’ll revert to old negative behaviors as your relationship with Nines progresses?” 

“I guess.” Gavin said, starting to scrape all the sequins on the left side of the pillow blue. “I uh.” He cleared his throat. “I think I’m extra worried because...because he’s an android. I was really...not great about androids before we met. He’s the one that helped me get my head on straight about it all, you know? So I guess I’m extra worried about going back to how I was because of that. He deserves better than that, and if it’s a lost cause I’d-”

He ducked his head, coughing and scrubbing at something in his eye.

“I, uh, I guess that’s why I’m here. I wanted to get a professional opinion on if I’m too screwed up or not. If I gotta...gotta let him go or whatever I need to do it before we’re both in too deep. I can’t move in with the guy and realize a week later that it was a mistake, I won’t do that to him. He deserves the best, and if I can be that I want to be, but if not I don’t want to hurt him. You know?”

The therapist watched him quietly with a softly understanding expression, her LED flickering blue.

“Have you talked to Nines about this yet?” She asked. “It seems like you two must have a strong relationship if you’ve already overcome so much together and work together professionally.” 

“God, no, I haven’t.” Gavin shook his head, grimacing. “I mean, well, kinda? I mean, he knows about my issues obviously, and he knows all about my parents and everything. I think maybe he probably knows I’m nervous about moving in together, but he doesn’t know I’m here doing this. I mean, maybe he does, he is the world’s most expensive detective.” He said with a chuckle.

“Is there a reason you haven’t talked about it with him yet?” She asked gently.

Gavin felt himself blush a little, picturing Nines’ unimpressed but still caring expression all too well. “Uh, probably because he’d tell me it’ll be fine, that we’ll work through whatever happens together. And that he’s put up with my shit too long already to let me go so easily now.”

The therapist smiled at that. “It sounds like he’s as dedicated to you are you are to him.”

“I guess, yeah.” Gavin said, looking at the pillow.

“It sounds like your main fear is that you’re afraid that you’ll revert to a past version of yourself that you don’t like very much anymore, but it also sounds like you’ve already made some incredible personal steps recently that already put you far apart from the old Gavin, is that right?”

“Well sure, old me never managed to get himself in to see a shrink, no matter how many people told me to.” Gavin said wryly.

“Precisely. And it sounds like you have something and someone you value enough to really put in the effort to make a change. And most importantly,” Her gaze got a little more serious. “It sounds like you’re changing yourself because you are growing and realizing that you want to be better. Putting the responsibility on your partner to make you better is unhealthy, but working to improve yourself because you’re no longer satisfied with the status quo is admirable. Even just the fact that you would be willing to let him go if you wouldn’t make him happy despite how badly you want it to work out says a lot about your motives.”

“Yeah?” Gavin asked, for some reason feeling a little like he might cry. 

“You’re right in knowing that change isn’t easy, breaking old habits and thought processes takes a lot of hard and consistent work, but genuinely wanting to change is the first and hardest step.” She said with a nod. “The fact that you’re here and willing to put in the work to make it stick is a huge deal Gavin, and if you are willing to put in that work then I have no reason to think that you won’t succeed. It’s never easy and there will sometimes be some setbacks of course, but you’ll have all the resources you need to work through it and succeed.”

“O-okay.” Gavin said, voice stupidly fragile. “That’s good I guess. Yeah. Good. That’s good to hear.”

“I think my first homework assignment for you though will be to talk to Nines about your concerns and be honest about your fears about this big potential change.” She said, her smile almost teasing, but not quite. “It’s normal to feel nervous about important relationship milestones, but it can also be an opportunity for both of you to grow closer and learn about each other. Does that sound fair?”

“Yeah, that’s fair. I can do that.” Gavin said, clearing his throat and pulling out his phone to make a reminder that he definitely didn’t need. “I guess talking about my feelings shouldn’t be that much of a surprise for therapy homework, huh?”

“Perhaps not.” She chuckled. “As for the rest of our time together today, I’d like to learn more about you so that we can start getting to know your old Gavin habits better. That way we can tackle them in the best way possible. For the rest of this session and our next visit I’d like to hear everything you feel comfortable telling me that you think is relevant.” She tilted her head a bit. “That is assuming of course that you choose to continue our visits, otherwise I’d be glad to refer you to some other android therapists you might be interested in visiting.”

“Yeah no, I’m coming back, don’t worry.” Gavin said hurriedly, in that moment realizing that he absolutely would be. “I'm not ditching you for another therapist, otherwise I’d have to do the whole almost crying thing again, right? What’s the point in that?”

“Well I'm happy to hear that, Gavin.” The therapist said warmly.

Gavin realized with a silent groan that he didn’t even remember her name, if he’d ever paid attention in the first place after looking up a nearby well rated android therapist online.

“And don’t hate me for this, but I forgot your name already.” Gavin said, trying to sound as not guilty as possible.

“It’s Amelia.” She said with a smile. “You can call me that or Amy if you like.”

“Amy. I can remember that. Amy.” Gavin said with a nod, forcing the name into his long term memory. “So, uh, where should I start?”

“How about you tell me more about Nines?” Amy suggested. “I’d love to hear more about how the two of you managed to end up together.” 

Gavin grinned. “Now that I can talk about for hours.”

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).