#connor brashier fanfiction

[connordavidscamera]

The (Not So) Good Ol’ Days | Connor Brashier

A/n: This chapter has literally been ready since March and I keep forgetting to post it when I come on here, but anyway, here it is after a very long wait. So sorry about that.

Summary: After Connor’s ex shows up randomly, y/n starts having doubts about her relationship with Connor, but they boys are there to reassure her.

Warnings: angst, obviously. It’s not me if it’s not angsty

Word count: 6.8k

***

I think I’ve stopped breathing. Because I’m standing here watching the only man I’ve ever loved stand in front of the only other girl in the world that has had him the same way I have. I’m suddenly back in high school, watching from the sidelines as Connor loves and cares for another girl in a way I had only wished he would love and care for me. 

The first couple of weeks were hard. It was difficult to figure out what I could and couldn’t do anymore now that Connor had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who isn’t me. Things between Connor and I didn’t fully change immediately. It was gradual, and to anyone else it probably wasn’t even noticeable, but for me it was. It started with a side hug when he slid into the seat next to me. Then a nudge, then nothing but a “hey.” Then it became a thing where he had me scoot over so McKenzie could sit with us. Then they started to get to our seat before me, causing me to have to sit in front of them.

I’d sit there and have to watch them hold hands over the table, and kiss. I’d have to watch him move her hair out of her face, and her play with the tufts of hair on the back of his neck. I’d watch her laugh at everything he said, and him hold onto every word she said. It was torture, but I was learning to live with it. That is until she approached me one day before class.

It was very much a coming of age, teen rom-com movie moment. I was in the bathroom, washing my hands when she came in. I forced a smile, same as I always did when I saw her. She did the same. 

“Y/n, just the person I wanted to see. I was hoping you’d be here.”

“McKenzie,” I nod. “What can I do for you?”

She looks into the mirror, adjusting her ponytail so it sits higher on the top of her head. “Well, I’m glad you asked. I want you to stop hanging out with Connor.”

“Excuse me?” I turn off the water, facing her, but reaching for a paper towel. 

“I want you to stop hanging out with him. I don’t know what your relationship is or was before I came along, but I don’t like it. I don’t like how close you two are.”

“Um, he’s my best friend.”

“Mhm, and I know you like him.”

“Uh, McKenzie, I don’t know where you heard that, but-”

“Oh, it’s obvious, don’t play dumb. Everyone knows you have a thing for him, except for him and it’s going to stay that way because I’m his girlfriend now, not you. So that hanging out alone that you used to do, isn’t gonna happen anymore. If all four of you are together, expect me there too. And don’t even think about sitting next to Connor when you do go out together.”

“Does Connor know that you’re in here telling me this? Because I don’t think he’d be okay with it.”

She rolls her eyes, “Oh, I’ll be telling him the same thing. Don’t worry about that.”

I toss the paper towels in the trash and look at her, my arms folded over my chest. “I’m sorry, and what are you getting out of this? Like what is your end result?”

“To have you out of the picture,” she says matter-of-factly.

“Okay, but… he and I have the same friends. And we have for years. I highly doubt that he’s gonna let some girl that he’s only been dating  for three weeks come in here and disrupt his life like that.”

“Connor does whatever I want him to do. And if I tell him that I don’t want you around, he’s going to make it happen.”

“But-”

“Look, I don’t have time to explain this more. Just stay away from Connor, okay? That’s it.”

I don’t respond, but she takes that as one. 

“Okay, perfect. Well, I’ll see you in class. I’m so glad we were able to have this talk.”

I watch her leave the bathroom, but I don’t leave. I lean back against the bathroom sink and take in everything she just said. Surely Connor wouldn’t go for this. I mean, we’ve been friends forever. He wouldn’t just cast me to the side because he has a girlfriend. 

But… isn’t that what he’s doing now? Pushing me to the side to make room for her.

“What are you doing here?” Connor asks. “Last I heard, you’d moved to Arizona.”

McKenzie nods, smiling that same perfectly straight, shimmering smile that she always did in high school. It’s crazy how some things never change. Like the look she’s giving him - I don’t know how a look can convey possession, but hers does. Hers says that she still has him. That he’s still her “Connor Bug” despite them having broken up over three years ago. 

“Yeah, I did. I’m going to school there, but my friend, Cammy - you remember Cammy, right? She goes to school here, so I thought I’d come visit for a little while. I didn’t realize you go here, too.” She looks over to where Shawn and Brian are - which just happens to be who I’m currently hiding behind. 

“Shawn, Brian! It’s so good to see you guys again!”

They both nod in acknowledgement. “Hey,” they say.

Brian reaches behind him and finds my hand, squeezing it reassuringly, telling me just what I need to hear - they’ve got me. They always do.

Friday nights look a little different now. For the past three weeks, I have opted out of my usual Friday night plans with the boys. It’s been pretty much the same since middle school. We go to the diner down the street from the school (they have the best milkshakes in the state, you can’t convince me otherwise), and then we either go watch a really bad movie - or rent one  - or we go to the park and we play on the playground until it gets dark. After that we grab pizza or chinese food and head to whoever’s house we feel like crashing at that night. Our parents are well versed in our plans, so it was no surprise that mine questioned me when I said I wasn’t going that first week. 

Shawn and Brian did too, but all I had to say was that I was having really bad period cramps and they were done with the conversation. Connor didn’t even ask why I didn’t go - I actually doubt he noticed with how intune he is with McKenzie. (And by intune I mean they’re practically swallowing each other anytime I’m around, so if they even came up long enough for air, I know he didn’t notice.)

The second week, Shawn and Brian gave me a sympathetic look. I think Shawn was starting to understand why I wasn’t going at that point, given the fact that I had also started opting out of eating lunch with them. I told them that I was tutoring, but really I was sitting in the far corner of the library, reading, hoping they wouldn’t come looking for me. Thankfully they didn’t. At least not during the day.

I’m sitting in my room, curled under my blankets, just hoping that sleep will take over so that I don’t have to address for the third time this month why I'm not going out with the guys today. However, about forty minutes into cowering under the blankets, my bedroom door opens. The lack of knocking tells me exactly who it is.

“Alright, sit up. We’re watching movies.”

“What?” I peek out from under the covers to see Shawn and Brian sitting on the edge of my bed. They have pizza and movies in their hands, as well as all of our favorite junk food. “What are you guys doing here?”

“I told you,” Shawn says, setting the pizza box beside me before taking off his shoes to put near the door. “We’re watching movies.”

“Yeah, but aren’t you guys supposed to be at the diner?”  I sit up, making room for them on the bed. 

“If you’re not there then we don’t want to be either.”

“But…”  I shake my head. I know that it’s better to just go with it than to argue with them. “Is Connor coming?”

They share a look between each other and Brian shakes his head. “No. Not tonight. Shawn and I thought it would be fun to have it be just the three of us tonight. For old time’s sake.”

I nod once, “Oh, right. Sure. That’s good.” I clear my throat and scoot back on the bed, “Well then let’s put in a movie. What are we watching?”

McKenzie looks between them, making eye contact with me, and that smile that she has for everyone else changes. It’s now tight-lipped and forced, fake. “Y/n. I see you’re still hanging around my Connor Bug, huh?”

“I’m not your Connor Bug, Kenz.”

Kenz. The nickname rolls off his tongue so easily and I hate it.

She shrugs, ignoring Connor’s comment. “Why are you hiding? You’re not happy to see me?” She frowns. “Well that hurts my feelings.”

She’s challenging me. It’s what she’s always done. It’s how she got me to stop hanging around Connor alone - or at all for a period of time. But I’m not the same person I was back then. I wouldn’t stick up for myself then, but I sure the hell would now. 

I hum and squeeze Brian’s hand before making my way between him and Shawn. “Well to hurt feelings, you have to have them, don’t you, McKenzie?”

Shawn sucks in a breath beside me.

She chuckles softly. “Oh, come on. We can put all of that petty stuff behind us, right? It’s been years.”

“You’re right,” I nod. “It has been. So you know it’s been three years since you and Connor broke up, right?”

“I’m aware,” she nods, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Good,” I nod too, mimicking her stance. “So then you also know that a lot can change in that time, right?”

“I guess so. What are we doing? Playing twenty questions?”

“Well you were always one for games.” I take a step forward, arms still crossed. I will not back down.  I will not let her ruin what I have worked so hard to build. “So let me ask you something then. If it’s been three years, what makes you think he’s still single?”

“Are you telling me he isn’t?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. He and I are together now, in case you were wondering.”

She stares daggers at me and then at Connor. "You're joking."

Connor shakes his head. "Nope. Four months."

"Oh!" She laughs. "So it's not serious then."

"We also live together," I tell her. "Although whether or not we were dating for four months, four weeks, four days, that shouldn't really matter." I make my way back over to Connor, who puts his arm around my waist instinctively. "We’re together and I'd appreciate it if you didn’t try to flirt with my boyfriend."

"Well it looks like things really have changed, huh?"

"Yeah, but you haven’t."

"You know it's not gonna last, right? You're just a fluke. He needs to get it out of his syst-"

"Enough, McKenzie! Fuck, just stop!" Connor exclaims. "Look, I'm sorry I ended things the way I did in high school, but we weren't right for each other. You were horrible to my friends, you manipulated me into hurting the most important person in the world to me. You just wanted to boss me around. Sure there were some good moments, but those didn't outweigh all the hurt and pain you caused. Now you can be mad or jealous or whatever the fuck it is that you are right now, but it doesn't change anything. I'm with y/n. I'm in love with y/n, and we're happy, so just leave us alone."

She stands there, speechless. I’ve never seen her speechless before and I like it. But it doesn't last long. She plasters on the smile reserved just for me and nods. “Okay. Well, just so you know,” she says, but she’s only saying it to me, despite our group of friends around us, “whatever you two do in bed together, he learned from doing it with me. If it’s the best head you’ve ever received, I taught him everything he knows. Have a good night.” She pushes past us and I chuckle, turning in Connor’s arm to lunge at her, but he quickly pulls me back.

“Let go of me, I’m gonna rip out those ugly extensions,” I seeth, still reaching for her as Connor and now Shawn and Brian are practically dragging me to the car. 

“While we would love to see it, that’s not gonna happen,” Brian says, opening the passenger side door.

“Fine, then let me break her nose. Give her an excuse to get that nose job she was always whining about.”

Shawn laughs from beside me as he bends down to grab me from behind my thighs and shove me in his Jeep, despite me still resisting. Connor’s walking to the other side of the car to turn it on. “Well that’s very thoughtful of you,” Shawn says, biting back another laugh. “But we’re gonna hold off on that.”

I’ve just now realized that Alessia and Liv are still with us, following us to the car, getting a front row seat to my crazy. They weren’t around when Connor and McKenzie dated, and for the most part, they knew little to nothing about the relationship. All they knew was what I had written in the songs I wrote with Shawn, and even then it was only about how I was feeling, and less so about her and their relationship. 

I scoff and fall back against the seat, my head thrown back in frustration. Shawn pulls at the seatbelt and Connor takes it from him to buckle me in. “I can buckle my own seatbelt,” I grumble.

Connor smooths my hair back, “I know you can, baby. We just want to help.”

“Then get me out of here.”

“Okay,” he nods. “Shawn, can I take your-”

“No,” I shake my head. “I want Shawn to drive.”

“What?”

I take in a deep breath and shut my eyes tight. “Bub, I love you. But right now if I look at you, I’ll see her and I’ll end up being upset with you. I don’t want to be upset with you, so just, please.”

He sighs, “Okay. I’ll ride back with Brian.” He shifts and kisses my temple gently. “I love you,” he says quietly.

“I love you,” I say back.

—

“Hey, Shawn?” I say quietly after we’ve been sitting in silence for the first five minutes of the drive.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know what prompted their breakup? Like why he suddenly went from being so in love with her to not wanting anything to do with her in the span of like two days.”

He sighs, “Y/n, I don’t think this is a good conversation to have with me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t speak for him. I know, from my perspective, what happened, but I don’t know what he was thinking at the time.”

“Well, then from your perspective, what happened?”

He turns on his signal light, merging lanes. “I know that Brian had to talk to him about how McKenzie was treating you.”

“Brian talked to him about that?”

Shawn nods, “Yeah. Connor came up to us about a month after you, me, and him started hanging out by ourselves. Asked him what the deal was. Why we weren’t inviting him out anymore, why we didn’t sit with him and her at lunch, why you would barely even look at him anymore. I don’t remember exactly what Brian said because obviously it was years ago. But it was something along the lines of how she treated you like trash and we were tired of sitting around and letting it happen, so we decided to just distance ourselves. If he wanted to hang out with us, he still could, but he had to do so without her.

“And, I mean, you know what happened after that. They broke up like a month later, right, and things were back to normal. As they should have been.”

“Normal is a relative term.”

He chuckles, “Okay, yeah. It took a while there, but you guys worked through it, and you’re here now. So just think about that. After all of that, you’re here now. You’re together. You’re in love. All is right in the world.”

“Why didn’t y’all ever tell me that y’all talked to him about what was happening?”

Shawn sighs, “I guess we didn’t want to hurt you even more. You were already in a world of pain at the time, and we knew bringing him up would only make it worse. Hell, we were scared to even let him start hanging out with us again because we didn’t want you to freak out and leave.”

I look down at my hands, “It was a really bad time, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It was. Brian and I hated seeing you in so much pain. We hated that we couldn’t do anything about it. No matter how much we really wanted to, we couldn’t fill that Connor-shaped hole in your life.”

“But you tried,”  I reach for his hand, squeezing it three times. “I never told you guys thank you for that.”

“There was no need to. We just wanted to be there for you.”

Connor leaves me alone for the most part when we get home. Well, all the guys do. They know I need a moment to process everything that just happened. You know like the fact that Connor just told me he loved me for the first time, and wrote a song about me, and then his fucking ex-girlfriend just showed up out of nowhere and ruined the whole night. I’m sitting on my bed, my knees pulled up to my chest as I stare at the photos on my wall. I still haven’t changed out of my clothes yet. 

A knock sounds from my door and it opens before I can tell them to come in. It’s Brian.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Just came to check on you. You alright?”

I shrug, but usher him in. “Sit down with me?”

He nods and steps in, closing the door behind him. “What’s up?”

“When we were in the car, Shawn told me that you had a conversation with Connor before he and McKenzie broke up. About me. And the way she treated me.”

Brian sucks in a breath but nods anyway. “Yeah, I did.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

He sighs, “Y/n, I don’t-”

“Please?”

He relents, “Okay. Well Shawn and I were at my locker, I don’t remember what we were talking about. Doesn’t really matter, I guess. He just showed up like he would any other day, except this time he was mad.”

“Yo, what the actual fuck?”

“Excuse me?” Brian rears back.

“Like, what? Are you kicking me out of the group or something? You’re barely talking to me, Shawn’s always busy when I ask to hang out, and y/n hasn’t even looked at me in weeks.”

Brian and Shawn share a knowing look, and Shawn shrugs. “We’d invite you if we knew it was just you.”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means we aren’t the biggest fans of your girlfriend,” he shrugs. “And you can’t tell us that it’s because we don’t know her. We know enough. We know her and we don’t like her. So, if you want to hang out, great, but don’t bring her with you.”

Connor scoffs, “She’s my girlfriend, Brian. I want to spend time with her.”

“And that’s great. You can totally do that, and you should. But don’t make us spend our time with her when it’s just supposed to be us four. We’re not dating her, we’re not asking for her. We’re asking for you.”

“I don’t get why you don’t like her? Like what’s the big deal?”

Brian shakes his head, “The big deal, Connor? She’s a bitch. And you can be mad at me for saying that, but holy fuck. Do you see the way she is with y/n? She’s so rude to her, it’s not even funny, but you go blind or deaf when she’s around. I mean, the last time we all hung out, y/n left almost in fucking tears and you didn’t do anything about it like you normally would. Your girlfriend hates your best friend.”

“That’s not true.”

“Not me, not Shawn. Y/n. Everyone knows that you two are best friends, but you’ve totally dropped her since McKenzie came around. I mean, you make your own decisions, that’s cool. But you can’t force that relationship on me and Shawn. We know where our priorities lie, and we know who’s important, and that’s y/n. She’s one of the most important people in our lives, and she used to be the most important person to you. But it’s clear that things have changed. It was just the three of us before and if it has to be that way now, then I guess that’s how it is. We’ll pick her every time. I guess the question is, will you?”

Brian shrugs, “He chose you. It just took him a while.”

I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder. “I hate that I made you choose.”

Brian sighs and takes my hand, “You didn’t. We did that on our own. You’re important to us and you were hurt by the one person you thought would never hurt you. The one person we thought would never hurt you. There’s no chance we weren’t gonna be on your side.”

“Y’all are always protecting me.”

“It’s our job, hon. Now, I think you need to go talk to Connor. He’s been pacing since we got back, he’s creating a draft,” he jokes. 

I shake my head with a soft laugh, “I thought it was a little chilly.”

He squeezes the back of my hand, “There’s our girl. You want me to call him in?”

“No, I want to change first. I’ll go talk to him in a minute.”

“Promise?” He holds his pinky finger out.

I lock our fingers, “I promise.”

“Okay,” he presses a kiss to the top of my head and stands up.

I wait a couple minutes after he leaves the room before I’m able to pull myself up and change into my pajamas. I find one of Connor’s softest shirts in my drawer and throw it on with a pair of shorts that I find thrown in there. I go to the bathroom to take off my makeup before going to Connor’s room.

He’s sitting at the edge of his bed, biting his nails and shaking his leg with all the lights off except for the lamp by his bed. I sigh and knock on the open door. “Hey, can I come in?”

He looks up at me with wide eyes, “Pretty girl,” he sighs. “C’mere,” he motions me in with both arms and stands up. I’ve barely made it two steps in before he’s wrapping me in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she was gonna be there, I promise. I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. You are the most important person to me and I-”

“Shh,” I shush into his neck. “I know. I know, baby. Just calm down. You don’t have to apologize. Let’s just go to bed, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, “It’s been a long night. Let’s sleep it off. Is that okay?” I ask, threading my fingers through his hair.

“Yeah,” he nods. “That’s good. C’mon. Come lay on me.” He kicks his door shut and then walks us back to his bed where he falls down first, allowing me to lay beside him. We shuffle until we’re at the top of the bed, sliding under the covers. He pulls me to his chest and we just stay like this until sleep finally takes over. I wish it didn’t. 

We’re sitting at the beach, all four of us, because it’s been that way again for the past few weeks. Connor broke up with McKenzie, and since then he’s started hanging out with us again. The boys asked me if it was okay, first, but I couldn’t say no. I missed him. I wanted him back too. However, it’s very clear that things aren’t the same. 

Despite him apologizing to me and us hanging out alone for the first time in almost seven months, I couldn’t make it seem like everything was just perfect because it wasn’t. Yes, he was back, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still hurt by what happened. 

So, if this was any other time than now, I would be burrowing into his hoodie instead of Shawn’s. I would be resting my head on his shoulder instead of Brian’s. I would be leaning into him and I wouldn’t think twice about it. But now, I feel like I have to think eight times about everything that I do around him. 

He’s peering at me now, but he won’t say anything. He doesn’t say much at all the rest of the time we’re here actually. 

“Hey, Bri and I are gonna play fifa at his place, you in?” Shawn asks him, his arm around my shoulders as we walk toward our cars. 

“Um, no. I have an English paper that I have to get done, so I’ll just see you guys on Monday.”

The boys nod and start to head toward Shawn’s Jeep where we all rode together, except for Connor because he was running late. I watch as Connor gets in his car and slams his head against the steering wheel. I move out of Shawn’s grasp, “Hey, I’m gonna catch a ride home with him. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asks.

I nod, “Yeah. Love you guys,” I pat both of their sides and rush to Connor’s car. I open the passenger side door and slide in before he even has time to process what’s happening. ��Okay, what the hell is going on right now? Why did you just lie to them? We don’t have a paper due.”

When he looks over at me, I see the tears in his eyes and I crumble. “I can’t,” he shakes his head. “I can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not. Nothing’s fine anymore. I feel like everything is slipping right out of my fingers. I don’t want to play fifa with the guys, or go out and film. I want to spend time with you. I want to go out and play mini golf because you suck at it, but you still somehow win every time. I want to sit next to you instead of in front of you because you feel so far away when you’re in front of me. I want you to lean on me, trust me. Wear my hoodie when you get cold. I want my best friend back. I want my girl back,” he shakes his head and wipes at his tears.

“So yeah, I lied to them, but I just need a damn moment to take in the fact that I’ve lost you.”

I look down at my hands, nodding slowly. “I’d like my best friend back too. But I don’t know what’s okay anymore. I didn’t have you to lean on for six months. Six fucking months. I had to go through everything alone because try as they might, Shawn and Brian aren’t you. They don’t know how to help me the way you do. You didn’t lose me, Connor. I was right fucking here the whole time. But I lost you. So, I’m sorry that I can’t just lean on you like I used to, but I’m scared you’re gonna disappear again.”

He nods, sniffling. “I know, but it feels like I’m losing you right now. Because you’re right here but you’re not y/n. And I know that’s my fault, and I’m so sorry for putting you through all of this. I just, I don’t know how I let it get this far.”

“You’re not losing me,” I respond quietly. “But you can’t just expect everything to go back to the way it was the second you said you’ve broken things off with her. You know I don’t work like that. I would love to lean on you, Connor. I would love to fall asleep with you when we watch movies. I’d love to wear your jacket instead of Shawn’s, but I don’t know if it’s okay anymore. I don’t know where our friendship becomes too much, where it crosses a line.”

He nods again, “I want you to do those things so badly, but I get it. I want you to be comfortable with what you’re doing, so I guess, if we need to start fresh then that’s what we’ll do.”

I sigh and drum my fingers on the inside of my wrist, a nervous tick I picked up a few years ago. “I just want to be Connor and y/n again.”

He reaches over and takes my hand in his, rubbing over my knuckles with his thumb. “I wanna be Connor and y/n again too.”

I close my eyes tight and squeeze his hand, “I’m terrified that you’re gonna leave me again.”

“Never again. I promise.”

“Don’t promise,” I suck in a breath, “promises can be broken.”

I jolt awake, holding my chest. Connor’s quick to sit up behind me. “Hey, hey what happened?”

I shake my head, pushing my hair out of my face. “Nothing. Nothing, I just… can memories be dreams?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” he yawns. “What did you dream about?”

I shut my eyes tight, “Just a really bad time in my life. Nothing to worry about.”

“Are you okay?”

I nod, “Yeah. Let’s just go back to sleep.”

—

I wait for her to fall back to sleep. She asked me if memories can be dreams and I’m wondering the same thing. Because the dream I just woke up from was anything but. 

“Smash or pass? Really? What are we thirteen?” I ask when our group gathers into a circle around the coffee table. My parents are out of town for the weekend, so I thought I’d have a small get together. It was just about twenty of us, but there was enough alcohol to serve a party of fifty. But now, there’s only six of us left. Shawn, Brian, y/n, me, Sam and Matt. We’ve all been drinking, so we’re all staying here for the night. Y/n’s drank the most probably. 

Until today, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drink. She’s usually the responsible one of us. I guess since we didn’t plan on leaving, she didn’t have to be tonight. I’m watching her carefully. 

“Don’t be such a downer. It’ll be fun. Y/n, we’ll start with you. Do you want a guy or girl?” Matt asks.

She shrugs, resting her chin in her hand on the table. “Doesn’t matter. Surprise me.”

“Ooh, okay. How about that girl from Pitch Perfect. Hailee something?”

“Steinfeld?” she asks. 

“Yes! Her! Smash or pass?”

She doesn’t even hesitate, “Smash. 100%.”

“Really? Interesting,” he nods.

“Are you saying she’s not a smash? Because you’d be wrong.”

“Oh, no. Totally a smash.” 

This goes on for a while, throwing out different celebrities until Sam gets a bright idea. “Okay, let’s make it interesting. People we know.”

I go to protest, but everyone nods. “Y/n, you’re up. Smash or pass with Brian.”

“Pass,” she says instantly.

He gasps, “Hey! Rude! At least act like you’re considering it.”

She holds her hand out to him, her eyes squinting, her head bobbing a little because she’s five drinks in, and I’m pretty sure all her drinks had at least two shots in them. “Not because you’re not attractive. Don’t get your panties in a twist. S’cause you’re like my brother. I wouldn’t fuck my brother, that’s disgusting.”

“Alright, in another universe then?” Matt asks, but I don’t really want to know the -

“No. There’s just no attraction there. He’d try to tell me what to do and I’d bite his head off.”

“Ha,” Shawn laughs. “Which one?"

“I think you know,” she sips her drink but frowns when she finds it’s empty. “Oh, sad,” she looks in her cup with furrowed brows. “I’m getting another.”

“Ah, I think you’re done,” Brian argues. “That’s five.”

“Don’t kill my buzz just because I said I wouldn’t have sex with you,” she slurs.

“No, honey, I think he’s right. You’ve had a lot tonight,” Shawn agrees. 

I don’t know what to say because I think she’s had a lot too, but I’ve never been with her when she drinks. I guess her drinking habits are new. 

“I think you both suck, and since I’m not driving, I’m having another.”

They both sigh and look to me for help. She and I still aren’t back to where we were before, but we’re at least better than we were on the beach a few weeks ago. “Y/n, at least get some water to drink too.”

She frowns but nods, “Fine. I’ll be back, keep playing.” She staggers off, barely able to keep her balance. 

I sigh, “When did she start drinking like this?”

Shawn gives me that look. The one that says “take a wild guess,” and I know my answer then. When Kenz and I started dating. 

“Right,” I nod. “Got it.” She comes back, a water bottle in one hand and whatever concoction she just made up now. 

“Okay, who’s next?” she asks. We go around again until it’s her turn. 

“Shawny boy here, smash or pass?”

She looks him over and huffs, “Pass. In another universe where I didn’t know everything about him, smash.”

I clench my jaw, but Shawn just laughs. She’s drunk, I tell myself. It doesn’t mean anything. Except don’t people say that drunk words are sober thoughts? The next round takes a little longer, and by the time it gets back to her, she’s falling asleep on Shawn’s shoulder. 

“Hey, Con, can you help me get her to your room? She’s about to pass out and I’d rather not leave her here on the floor all night.”

I nod, “Yeah, no problem.” I stand up and Shawn puts her arm around my shoulders and I hold onto her waist while he stands, taking place on her other side. 

“Y/n, one more,” Matt says. 

“M’kay,” she nods. 

“Connor, smash or pass?”

"Dude," I start to protest, but she answers quickly and definitively. 

“Fucking smash,” she shakes her head. “A million goddamn times.”

Matt and Will laugh, but the rest of us stay silent, especially me. 

“Okay, let’s get you to bed,” I say, walking her up the steps. We get her to the room and on the bed. I walk over to my dresser to get her some clothes. 

“Is she sober enough to change on her own?”

Shawn shakes his head. “Gimme. I got it. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to change her.”

“She’s been drinking like this for a while?” I question, going to my bathroom to grab the makeup remover I have stowed away for her for when she stays the night.

“Yeah,” he nods, pulling my shirt over her head. 

“Shawn?” she whines, her voice cracking. 

“Yeah, honey?”

“Why doesn’t he want me?” She whimpers, “Why am I not good enough for him?”

I rear back like she’s hit me. What? Who is she talking about? It's not me, right?

Shawn sighs deeply, "You are, baby. You’re enough," he assures her and then looks up at me. "Give me a second with her?"

I don't want to leave her because I want to know who she's talking about, but my heart doesn't. So I nod and leave the room, shutting the door behind me. I slide down to the floor and rest my head in my hands, waiting for him to come back out.

He does ten minutes later and I look up at him, defeated. "She thinks I don't want her."

He gives me a sad smile, "She's just drunk. She gets like this when she drinks."

"Drunk words are sober thoughts," I shake my head. "I can't believe I've made her think she's not good enough. That I don’t want her? I want her every day, Shawn. I always have."

He doesn't say anything except, "She’s asking for you."

I get up in a heartbeat and walk into the room. "You need something, love?" I ask gently, sitting beside her on the bed.

She looks at me with her half closed eyes and an extreme pout on her lips. "Will you lay with me? Sleep with me tonight?"

I nod, "Anything you want, it’s yours. Let me go get your water. I need you to drink it before you fall asleep, okay?” I push her hair out of her face and let my fingers trace over her cheek.

“Okay, bubba. Whatever you want,” she hums. “Hurry back.”

I let my hand linger for a moment before I get up to go downstairs. The boys are still just sitting around the table, laughing, fooling around. Brian and Shawn look up at me when they hear me. 

“Is she okay? Does she need anything?” Brian asks.

I point to the water that’s sitting by Shawn’s elbow. “I just need her water. I’m gonna go lay down with her.”

“Just lay down?” Matt wiggles his eyebrows, earning a punch in the arm from Brian.

“Shut up. She’s drunk, he wouldn’t do that,” he points to me. “You won’t touch her.”

“You know I would never do that,” I shake my head. “I’m just gonna hold her until she falls asleep. And this,” I gesture to the group, “this game never happened. Not a single one of you will bring up what happened tonight. I don’t want her to be embarrassed.”

“So, what? You’re just gonna pretend it didn’t happen?”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do,” I sigh, “There’s extra blankets and pillows in the closet down the hall. Make yourselves comfortable, I’m going back upstairs to lay with her.” I don’t wait for anyone to say anything because honestly, I don’t care what they have to say about it.

I walk back into the room to find her sitting against the bed frame, a picture frame in her hand. 

“Whatcha looking at, pretty girl?” I ask her, closing the door behind me.

She turns the picture to face me. It’s a photo of the two of us from last summer. I’m leaning against her, my eyes closed, face scrunched, flipping off the camera. Her arms are around my bare chest and she’s licking my cheek. I promptly tackled her after the photo was taken. “This was my favorite day.”

I hum, sitting next to her. “Mine too. Here,” I hold the bottle out to her. “I need you to drink the whole thing.”

She nods, setting the picture back down on the nightstand. There’s still a lot of photos of her in here despite McKenzie telling me to take them down. The one she just had was hidden in my drawer, but I refused to take the other ones down because they had the boys in them too. She takes a few sips, successfully downing half the bottle before handing it back to me, resting her head on my shoulder. 

“Did you take down all your photos of her?” she asks quietly.

“No,” I shake my head. “There was no need. I never had any hung up.”

“Why not? I bet that made her mad.”

It did. “Doesn’t matter,” I turn my head to kiss her forehead. 

She shifts and wraps an arm around my torso, we haven’t cuddled like this in a long time, and I wish it were under different circumstances, but I’ll take what I can get now. A few moments of silence pass before I feel her body slump next to mine. She’s out like a light. 

I sigh and lean down, kissing her forehead once again. “You’re enough, baby. I want you. I always want you. And I’m gonna show you every single day for the rest of our lives.”

***

I hope you enjoyed it! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

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[xeunoais]

Connor Brashier MS

(A/N): ! = author’s favorites

-

 - left with a broken heart !

 - rumor 

 - better half

 - four years !

 -  quarantined lovers (request)

[queenmendes]

laughs, kisses, & tears

Part 2 of Successful!

I hope y’all enjoy this little blurb! Wow I actually finished something and am posting it? Who would’ve thought?? P.S that little eyebrow twitch and smirk in this gif had me dead

~~~~~~

It’s no secret that Shawn loves to spoil you, despite how much you’ve protested. Not a week goes by where there hasn’t been a fresh bouquet of elegant flowers brought to your office or littering your shared condo. Half of your closet is made of new outfits Shawn had picked out for surprise date nights. You can't even count the amount of jewelry he has given you, despite telling him you don’t need it all, but according to him “you need to look pretty for all those business meetings”. Shawn loves to spoil you, but now it’s your time to spoil him.

Sadly, there has not been time for the two of you like you’d hope. With him finishing his tour and then award season coming right behind. Once he was home, he dedicated all his time to helping you with the last details of your company before the launching. But now, everything's in place. Shawn is home full-time and working in the studio downtown while the company has been climbing the chain and doing great. Which is why you’ve planned a weekend away from the two of you.

It’s your time to spoil your boy for once.

Shawn’s back was to you as you entered the condo. His tall figure sitting in front of the beautiful, black piano; a soft melody filling your ears. His hands effortlessly danced across the keys and they didn’t stop as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, nuzzling your nose into his hair.  

“Hi baby.” The music stopped as he turned around on the binch, resting his hands on your hips. “You’re home from work very early.” He says, pulling you into his lap.

“I didn’t go in to work today.” You confessed and smiled as his head tilted like a confused puppy. “I was picking up a few things for this weekend.”

“This weekend?” Shawn was silently panicking, thinking he forgot an important anniversary or event.

“This weekend, you and me in my family’s cabin. I have a few surprises for you.” You grinned, excited for the weekend you had planned.

“Oh baby, you didn’t hav-” You cut Shawn off by planting a soft kiss on his lips, silencing his words.

“You are always spoiling me. It’s my turn to spoil you. Besides, I already packed our bags and got the stuff to make all your favorite foods and a few small things that you deserve. So, if you don’t mind, please get your cute butt downstairs and in the car.” Shawn smiled and placed another kiss on your lips before grabbing his keys from on top of the piano.

The three hour drive to the cabin was peaceful. Shawn’s hand was holding yours the entire time and you’ve been singing Disney and Broadway songs the whole way. It didn't seem like a long drive at all and before you knew it, the beautiful wooden house was in your view.

The two of you quickly unloaded the Jeep and brought everything into the toasty warm house. You looked over and smiled as you saw the fireplace cracking away and fresh blankets laying around. Quickly, the two of you put the few groceries up.

“God, I love your parents.” Shawn said, looking at the lively cabin, knowing who got the place all together. “But I love you more.” Shawn whispered in your ear, pushing his body up against yours; his lips finding their way down your neck, to your collarbone. A soft moan escaping you as your head leans back on his shoulder.

“Show me how much you love me.” You all but beg.

“Yes ma’am.” and god, did he show you.

__

Your eyes fluttered open to see Shawn’s arm wrapped around your middle, his large hand resting on your stomach as he pressed your back against his chest. Carefully, you moved his arm away from you and wiggled out of bed and slipped on a pair of panties and Shawn’s hoodie before making your way into the kitchen to begin preparing for dinner. Deciding to grab all the ingredients to make steak with loaded potatoes and ceasar salad, which was the first meal you ever cooked for Shawn.

You were in the middle of placing the potatoes into the oven when you heard shuffling down the hall. Shawn’s tall figure came into your sight as you closed the oven door and placed the seasoned steak into a skillet.

“Hi love.” You greeted him as his arms went around your waist. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mhmm. I got cold without you though.” He lightly presses a few kisses to your cheeks. “Whatcha making?” He asked as you flipped the steaks over.

“Steak, with loaded potatoes and salad.” You answered, focused on the cooking food in front of you. He moaned in delight at the smell before walking to the fridge.

“Do you want any wine, honey?” He asked, taking the bottle of red out of the fridge. You pause for a moment.

“No thank you.” Shawn nodded, knowing sometimes you just don’t want to drink. Soon, the steaks were cooked to your preference and the potatoes out of the oven. As you were tossing the salad, Shawn helped plate the food and take it over to the small table. The two of you dug into the meal, a calm and comfortable silence between the two of you; with Shawn praising your cooking every other bite.

“So why the sudden trip babe?” Shawn asked as he finished off the last of his food. You smile over at him.

“I can’t spoil my man?” You teased, grabbing his hand. “Baby, you have supported me through everything and never failed to spoil me with what I need to make it through, despite how much I’ve told you to stop. I finally am in a place where I can give back to you because you deserve it.”

“I love you, and I would do everything all over again for you.” He whispered, kissing your hand. “And I will never stop spoiling you.” He teased.

“Speaking of…” You ran into the other room, grabbing the wrapped box. Shawn gave you a pointed look as you placed it on the coffee table, rushing over to pull him on the couch. “I got you something, to just show how much I love you and how proud I am of you finishing your tour like a champ. Now open it!” You were anxious, hoping he liked it as much as you wish he would.

Shawn couldn’t help but gasp lightly in surprise at the guitar that laid in the box. A 1969 Fender Stratocaster sat in perfect condition before his eyes, one that he knew all too well from how often he researched it as a teenager. It was the guitar that Jimi Hendrix played.

“Baby…” Shawn’s fingers traced over the strings. “How?”

“The museum in Seattle was having a charity auction, and this was the top item. I’ve had a few of my people’s eyes out for it for a while now and when they announced that it was being sold, I made a good offer.” You explained, scooting closer to him. “I remember you saying how much you would love to play just one song on this guitar and now, you can play as many as you choose.” Shawn’s lips captured yours in a passionate kiss, one hand on the side of your neck and the other tangled in your hair.

“I told you that when I was 16?” Shawn whispered against your lips as he pulled away. You laugh lightly.

“Trust me, I remember everything about you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes.” You said, kissing his lips once more. “But there’s more. Look on the back.” Shawn looked confused but excited as he gently flipped the guitar over, seeing a note on the back.

I hope you hold our little one as gently as this guitar!

Right underneath was a small ultrasound photo, pointing out a small, almost unnoticeable dot. Shawn swears he stopped breathing as he stared at the photo and note. Your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing as you watched him in silence, letting him take it in and process.

“Really?” Shawn’s head turned towards you, his eyes teary. “You’re really pregnant? Like my baby is in your tummy?” His eyes darted down to your stomach.

“Yeah, your baby is in my tummy.” You lightly laugh at his goofiness as tears form in your eyes. Shawn’s lip wobbled as he pulled you onto his lap, hugging you close. The two of you sharing more laughs, kisses and tears as you celebrate the new bundle of joy to come.

[kritomiesterbanta]

Cruel Summer [Part 5]

ABOUT: Y/N is not happy about her boyfriend Shawn having to fake date Camila, nor is he happy about Y/N’s blossoming friendship with Connor

WORD COUNT: 4,271

NOTES: Thank you for the continued out pour of love and support for my Cruel Summer series! I love this story, so I’m glad you are all loving it too! I’m definitely interested in hearing whether you are team Shawn or Team Connor, especially after reading this part! Let me know!

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 6

You loved Shawn, you truly did, which is why you were trying so damn hard to separate what was going on, with how you felt about him. The thing was, this whole watching him “date” someone else was killing you on the inside. Part of you had to wonder if maybe even coming out here on tour to begin with had been a bad idea. As hard as it had been to be apart, and to mostly communicate through texts, phone calls, and facetime, at least you wouldn’t have had a front row seat to his arms being wrapped around another girl. 

You had done your best to be supportive, and not say anything, but your heart had been broken the morning that Shawn had approached you to let you know that they needed to step things up with Camila. You knew this wasn’t going to be a conversation that you liked, especially since you could see in his own eyes that he was hurting and dreading this, but to make things look more real and believable he was going to have to kiss Camila.

 They had kissed a little bit during the filming of Senorita, but for some reason this just seemed different. He had tried to reassure you that it was just acting, and that he didn’t want to be doing it, but for the sake of all the work that they had put into this, they needed to keep it up, and of course, step it up as well. You wanted to believe that what he was saying was true, that it was different, but it certainly didn’t seem like it.

In Senorita they were playing characters. While maybe they were still to some extent playing characters now, and heightened versions of themselves, they were ultimately still being Shawn and Camila, and it hurt that your Shawn, that your boyfriend, was going to be kissing another woman.

 Then again, what could you really do? You were a nobody. You didn’t get to dictate any of this, especially since you already felt like Shawn didn’t get much of a say himself. When he told you that this wasn’t something he wanted to do, you believed him. You could see it in his face, especially when it was just the two of you alone in a room.

It had even gotten to the point that it wasn’t even something you wanted to discuss with him at all. Each night when it was just the two of you alone in your room you could see the weight of what was going on was killing him. He was stressed, he was exhausted, and you could see the guilt in his eyes when he looked at you. He knew that he was hurting you, and you knew that was killing him, and therefore you had stopped letting him in. You didn’t want to add to the stress of everything going on.

You coming to join the tour for the summer was supposed to be something fun, and something calming for Shawn, you weren’t here to cause waves or make things more difficult. Instead, you did your best to be the kind of distraction he needed, not the girl that complained about how damn hard it was to watch him with Camila, talk about Camila in interviews or the Q&A’s, or bring up just how hurt and heartbroken you were on the inside.

You knew that you were slowly breaking down, and that you couldn’t keep going on like this, but you were hopeful that somehow, or someway this would get easier. It was only supposed to be a summer fling. You could get through this, you had to. 

You knew that Shawn was growing more and more frustrated with your own relationship and friendship with Connor, but it wasn’t something that you could give up. He honestly was the only one keeping you sane, especially since he did provide as the perfect distraction, and when everything got to be a little too much he was the first one to grab your hand and pull you off so the two of you could go on your own adventure. 

The two of you didn’t even need to be doing anything crazy or all that significant for you to enjoy your time together. Actually, the times where you and Connor just went around taking pictures and videos, or even just sat in his hotel room while you watched him edit were more than enough for you. As long as you didn’t have to watch your boyfriend put his hands all over another woman you were happy, and Connor seemed more than happy to be that distraction.

At first you had felt rather guilty about always pulling him away from everything, but after assuring you that this too was what he’d rather be doing, you had stopped asking if it was okay, or trying to assure him that you’d be okay if you stayed around and watched the “show” that Shawn and Camila were putting on. Plus, he had long since learned to see past your bullshit answers when you tried to play it tough or cool. He knew you weren’t happy or okay, and he didn’t like you having to force yourself through it.

As much as you hated it, Shawn did make his occasional comment about it, especially after each time you put up a new selfie of you and Connor on your Instagram. It really had just become a running joke between the two of you, since he constantly teased you about your love of selfies, and you teased him about his ridiculous hatred for them. Plus, you didn’t see anything wrong with it. There were plenty of pictures out there with Shawn with Camila, so why couldn’t you have pictures of you and Conner? 

That had been the original story after all. You were on tour to spend time with your friend Connor. You were only selling that storyline even further, and even more than that, Connor was your friend now. Actually, given how close the two of you had gotten the past few weeks you would argue that he was becoming one of your closest friends. The two of you just got each other, and while that maybe bugged your boyfriend, it was something that you needed, and therefore something that Shawn needed to deal with.

 As much as you wished that Shawn could be your refuge when things got tough, that just wasn’t the case. You didn’t want to add any more stress to his pile, and it did just seem to make more sense to go to Connor when you had to vent or complain. In some ways, you felt like Connor just happened to get it more than Shawn did anyway. You of course didn’t want to complain about Shawn as a boyfriend, since when it was just the two of you, he was the best, but he could get understandably defensive when he felt attacked over the situation.

You knew that he was just about as ready for this Camila stuff to be over as you were, and since it wasn’t like he was trying to hurt you on purpose you didn’t like looking at him in a negative light. Honestly, if none of this Camila stuff had happened you would argue that he had been one of the best boyfriends you had ever had, but these days it was hard to see all of that.

With Shawn’s birthday nearing you had been so excited about the idea of being able to celebrate together, and before all of this had happened, it had been the day you were looking forward to the most. Twenty-one was a pretty monumental birthday after all, and instead of being some star studded party, it was mostly going to be his best and closest friends that were invited.

However, the closer it got, and as more details of the big day, and the big party were being revealed you soon came to the realization that you weren’t going to be able to play the big part in the day that you had originally wanted and hoped for. Shawn had assured you that he wanted you close by all night, but you couldn’t hold hands or act like a couple. There were going to be cameras there after all, and if anything got leaked it would ruin everything that he, Camila, and their teams had worked towards. 

While everyone on tour knew the truth about you and Shawn, most of the party goers wouldn’t know that, and it wasn’t safe to let your relationship be seen or discovered. There were already a lot of people out there that weren’t buying his and Camila’s relationship, and while selfishly that made you sort of happy, you also knew that it was in his best interest for it not to be found out what was actually happening and going on.

Like usual, you reminded yourself that you would have Connor there, and that at least made it so you weren’t completely dreading the party. This was Shawn’s big day after all, and being the good girlfriend that you were, you did want to make this as easy and drama free as possible. The day wasn’t about you, even if as his girlfriend you did feel like you should have been given a bit more consideration in all of this, but what really could you say? If it was up to Shawn you imagined he saw this day going a little differently as well, so at least there was that.

When the big day had finally arrived, you did your best to make it special for just the two of you. You were the first one to see him in the morning, which meant you were the first one that was going to be able to wish him happy birthday. That was precisely why you had woken up early, and thanks to a little arranging, and the help of a few others, you had his favorite breakfast delivered to the room, along with a cupcake that you were able to light up with the one candle that sat in the middle of it.

“Happy Birthday to you,” you softly sang, after having lit the candle and made your way over to his side of the bed where he was currently laying shirtless, in nothing more than his boxer briefs, stomach down. “Happy Birthday dear Shawn,” you continued as he turned to look at you with a boyish grin and sleepy eyes as you finished up singing. “Make a wish babe,” you directed as he quickly blew it out before finally pushing himself up and moving into a seated position with his legs off the bed.

“Thanks babygirl. You are amazing, and I’m so lucky to have you,” he smiled as he pulled you closer so he could rest his hands on your hips.

“I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around, but I’ll take it,” you playfully declare before leaning down to press your lips to his.

The two of you had definitely taken advantage of the alone time together, and had actually spent the majority of the day and early afternoon together in his room, but unfortunately that hadn’t been able to last. His family had flown in to spend the big day with him, and with lunch having been planned he had needed to say goodbye and leave.

While you had met his family, and gotten along great with all of them, there were likely pictures going to be taken, and it wouldn’t make sense for a random girl that was friends with Connor, and not his actual girlfriend to be at lunch with them. If a girl was going to go, it would have been Camila, but Shawn had thankfully requested for that not to happen.

In the end, you had found a way to keep yourself busy with a little shopping as you picked out the perfect little red dress to wear tonight, gotten a manicure and pedicure, and had even arranged to have your hair and make-up done by a professional. Even if you weren’t going to be the one totally at Shawn’s side tonight, you wanted to look good for him.

While you had unfortunately hoped to ride to his party with him tonight, that hadn’t happened. Shawn was to walk in after most of the guests were to arrive, and much to your chagrin, he was going to walk in with Camila, and his family. 

You couldn’t lie. That sucked, and it hurt, but like usual you had Connor by your side to make it feel alright, or at least as good as you could possibly feel about any of this. In the end, you didn’t want to make his big day about you, so despite how shitty you felt, you slapped a fake smile on your face, even if Connor could easily see right past it. Actually, you found yourself deeply hoping that Shawn could as well, but you knew it was a selfish thought.

After walking in you and Connor made your rounds, talked to a few people, and had gotten a glass of champagne to celebrate Shawn’s imminent arrival. Once it was announced that he was coming in soon, you made sure that you and Connor were right near the front.

 As Shawn made his grand entrance you, like everyone else began to shout at the top of your lungs, and you couldn’t help the butterflies as his eyes immediately found yours. Maybe you didn’t get to walk in by his side, but he was doing his best to show that you weren’t forgotten. It also helped that he was clearly taking in you, your dress, and little makeover, and he was obviously impressed. You had seen that look in his eyes before, and you could tell it was taking everything in his power to not walk over there and kiss you in front of everybody. 

So maybe it hadn’t been your favorite to see his hand in Camila’s, but it was you he had looked at like that, and not her, and that was what was getting you through. You watched as he made his rounds a bit, hugging quite a few people and thanking them for coming, before he finally made his way over to you. 

“Hey,” he smiled, his eyes once again taking you in, while also trying not to give too much away about how he truly felt about you, especially since tonight, to all these people Camila was Shawn’s girlfriend. Not you. 

“Hey,” you shyly smiled back, loving the way his eyes had just looked over you all over again.

“You look so beautiful babygirl,” he whispered into your ear as he had moved in to give you a hug. “I’m pretty sure you are the birthday present I’m most looking forward to unwrap,” he softly joked before slowly pulling away, his touch lingering for as long as he could possibly make it.

“Oh my God Shawn, have you already been drinking?” you tease as he innocently shrugs his shoulders, making you giggle. 

“Come on, it’s my twenty first, I may have had a drink or two on the way over,” he admits as you let out another soft giggle and a shake of the head.

“Well you deserve it. I hope you are having a good birthday so far,” you admit, even if your heart sort of hurts that this is going to have to be your only interaction for awhile. You would give anything to spend the entire night by his side, and holding his hands as he goes around and talks to everyone and introduces you to his old friends, but you get why that can’t be.

“It’s been good.. But I wish it could be a little different,” he admits back, almost as if you two are sharing a very similar thought. 

“Well we will hang out later tonight, right?” you try offer in an effort to see that signature Shawn smile that you love so much, and one he deserves to be wearing on his birthday.

“Of course, Like I said, I still need to unwrap my present,” he teases as he sends what is likely an inappropriate wink in your direction, but neither of you seem to care as you share in this moment and laugh together. 

“I need to go and talk to some people and say hi, but you’ll be close by right?” he asks, a familiar look of concern and pleading showing up on his face. 

“Of course,” you smile in assurance as you reach out and give his hand a small squeeze before he unfortunately has to pull away, looking back at you, giving you one last smile before heading into the crowd.

As much as you loved your interaction with Shawn just then, an emptiness and sadness begin to consume you, but luckily before you can let yourself dwell on it, Connor is at your side.

“What do you say we take a shot?” he asks, and while you aren’t much of a drinker, you are pretty sure you are going to need to something in order to get through this night. Plus, with it being Shawn’s twenty-first you know he plans on drinking quite a bit, so why not join in?

That isn’t the only shot you take that night, nor is it the only drink you consume other than the tiny bit of champagne you had to mark his arrival. You definitely have a buzz going on, and maybe a little more, but it feels good. Even more, it feels good not to be dwelling on the fact that your boyfriend is off socializing without you, with Camila by his side, likely portraying the role of the doting girlfriend that should be you.

 Actually though, you are having plenty of fun where you are at with Connor as the two of you make your presence known on the dance floor. You would never claim to be a professional, or to even know what you are doing, but you also feel like you have rhythm and do alright, unlike Connor. In fact, his moves crack you up, which only makes this even more fun. 

Being you, you have also already pulled out your phone to take the selfie that Connor so loudly proclaims he hates, but you know he secretly loves. Plus, he always looks amazing in them. While he may normally prefer to be the one behind the camera, you think that is just a travesty. His face was made to be in front of the camera. 

You know you promised Shawn to be close by, and while you really had tried to make that happen, it had not only gotten a bit boring to be the weird girl secretly lurking in the back, it had gotten to feel kind of weird. So instead, you had chosen to take advantage of the fact that you were at your boyfriend’s huge birthday bash, even if it was Connor by your side instead. 

When it was time for the cake to be presented everyone did their best to gather in close as a loud round of happy birthday was sung. You did your best to get in as close as you could with Connor by your side, but given how many people had come tonight to celebrate the birthday boy you definitely weren’t as close as you would have hoped. The one thing that had made you at least feel somewhat better about this moment was that he had searched you out in the crowd and sent a little wink, but soon his attention was directed elsewhere.

You couldn’t blame him. He was the man of the hour after all, but that didn’t stop the sting of not being the one by his side from consuming you. It certainly wasn’t helping that you were also a tad bit tipsy, and Camila was right there where you should have been. After the candles had been blown out and a silly drunken speech had been given by your incredibly cute and adorable boyfriend your mood suddenly switched as Camila went in to give Shawn a big birthday kiss as the crowd cheered.

You however, were not cheering, and you certainly weren’t happy. In fact, that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back as you pushed your way out of the small crowd. Despite the fact that you were already outside in the New York air, you couldn’t help but feel like you couldn’t breathe and like you needed more of it.

Out of nowhere Connor reached for your hand, and thankfully led you away, and down a small alley where it looked like the two of you could have some much needed privacy. You of course wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but there likely was much more involved in all of this as hot tears began to fall down your cheeks.

“Come here,” he softly directed you as he pulled you into his arms as you buried your head in his chest, as one of his hands rested on the back of your head, as the tears continued to fall. You weren’t sure how long the two of you had stood like that, but finally you felt strong enough to pull back to look at him.

“I’m sorry I..” you began as you did your best to wipe at your eyes, before he quickly shook his head.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I get it. This is hard Y/N,” he assures you, as he affectionately moves in to wipe a tear off your cheek. 

“It is, and you would think I’d be used to it by now,” you sighed, hating that this was still something you couldn’t seem to get over.

“And you shouldn’t have to. You shouldn’t even have to be dealing with this in the first place. It’s fucked up. You are one of the most amazing women I have ever met, and I don’t get why Shawn is doing this,” he cursed, actually surprising you by how passionate he is about all of this.

“Well, I mean, he doesn’t really have a choice,” you try to offer in defense of Shawn.

“Of course he has a choice. He could have said no, but he didn’t, and he’s still letting this shit show carry on despite how obvious it is that it’s hurting you. It’s bullshit,” he further ranted, his words actually sinking in as you first wonder how much of a choice Shawn does have, and even more, you wonder how obvious it really is what all of this is doing to you. Is everyone else feeling the same way about all of this?

You hate the idea of looking weak or pathetic, and you don’t like the idea of everyone knowing that this isn’t easy on you. Okay, so maybe it isn’t something that should be easy, but you did want to be there and you did want to be supportive.

“I get it Y/N, you’re trying to be a good girlfriend for him,” he further offers, feeling somewhat annoyed that this isn’t the first time today that your thoughts seem to be totally transparent. “But he doesn’t fucking deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you,” he loudly declares as his hands from around you drop as he throws them passionately up into the air in frustration. 

“Connor,” you begin, but honestly, what are you supposed to say to that, especially after having had him witness your first real break down since coming out here. 

“I mean it, you are amazing, and you don’t deserve this,” he keeps going, obviously sensing that you aren’t sure what to say. “You deserve a boyfriend that chooses you. That chooses you over some music sales, and makes you feel like you are always his number one priority. If you were my girlfriend Y/N, I would never do that to you,” he confidently declares as he moves to cut off the distance between the two of you  once more as he places a soft hand on the side of your neck as his thumb softly brushes up against the skin of your cheek. “I would make sure to show you each and every day that you are my only priority, and that nothing is more important than you.”

“Connor..” you softly trail as your eyes move up to meet his, feeling completely conflicted in this moment. Those words, they mean the world to you, and for the first time since Shawn has said something about Connor having feelings for you, you realize that maybe he was right all along, and you aren’t sure what to think about that.

On one hand, you know he is right. Shawn isn’t treating you like his number one priority, but you love him despite all of that, and despite what he can offer you at the moment. On the other hand, not only is Connor saying all the right words, you are starting to wonder if maybe somewhere along the line you had fallen for him too. It’s all so confusing, but before you even have time to think about what you want, you are soon interrupted.

“What the fuck Connor? Get away from my girlfriend,” Shawn loudly shouts, as you quickly jump away from Connor and his touch as your eyes quickly move between the two men, neither looking even remotely happy with the other. In fact, you can see fire and anger there, and know, this in no way is going to end well.

Taglist: @justanotherfangurl272​

[shawnpetermuffins]

Not Alone (We Were Us iii.)

A/n: this is d r a m a t i c. 

Summary: Shawn finds out.

Warnings: angst, told in two POVs

Word Count: 3.5k

part 1 / part 2

***

Shawn’s POV

“Shawn, hey. It’s great to see you, man.”

“Brashier, I’m so glad you decided to do this tour with us again. I think this is going to be our best one yet. That last one was great, but I want to pull out all the stops with this one.” I clasp and unclasp my hands in front of me on the table.

“Yeah, of course! You just tell me what you’re looking for and I will make sure we get it in the film.”

“Great, yeah.” I fidget in my seat, “But um, before we get into it, I just have to ask… How – how is she?”

“Shawn, I don’t-”

“Please? I won’t ask about her again. I just want to know if she’s doing okay.”

He nods, “She’s doing good. She’s been staying with me since the breakup.”

I take in a deep breath, “Oh. Well that’s good.”

“Yeah.” Connor clears his throat and looks down, rubbing his hands over his jeans.

“So, the project.” He says, finally breaking the unbearable silence.

“Right, the project. Yes. So, I really liked the behind the scenes stuff you’d got. Like not just the before show rituals, but I liked how you included the band more. I really want to do that again. I want to make sure they’re a huge focus in this thing too. Because you know, they’re giving up more than me to do this. They have wives and kids. You know, a family to look after. I just want to see more of them.”

He nods and bites the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, completely understand. I’ll make sure to get more of them. What else?”

I run my hand through my hair. “Well I also want to focus on the fans. We got so many shots of me and them. Like the In My Blood run through, but I want to see them. They’re reactions. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them and I want to showcase that. Really, truly showcase it.”

He opens his mouth to say something but stops when his phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket with a puzzled look. “Sorry, I have to take this.”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

I step out of the room and hold the phone to ear. “Honey? Everything okay?”

Honey? Is he dating somebody?

“Tell me what?”

“It’s a girl?” He chokes out. “Oh my god. That’s – god – Mae is gonna be so loved, love.” He sniffles. “Fuck.”

“Is she healthy? Then that’s all I care about.”

I scratch the back of my neck. Is Connor having a baby? Who with? He never mentioned a girlfriend. I straighten up when he walks back into the room, wiping at his eyes.

“Sorry about that. Where were we?”

“You okay, Brash?”

He chuckles, “I’m so good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, y/n’s having a girl.”

I nod, the words only taking a second to register. “Wait, y/n’s what?” I stand from my seat I must have heard him wrong.

“Oh fuck.” He covers his mouth. “Fuck. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

“Y/n’s pregnant?”

He doesn’t answer and my fists clench in my lap. I want to hit him.

“Are you the father?”

“Shawn-” I don’t let him finish before I’m rushing out of the room and out of the building to my car. “Shawn, stop!”

“Is she pregnant?” I ask again, furious as I yank my car door open.

“Yes,” he says lowly.

I scoff and duck into my car, turning it on and backing out in just seconds. Pregnant. My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. And it’s my videographer’s baby. I want to kill him. I turn on my blinker and merge onto the highway. I know I shouldn’t do this. I know it’s not my place. Not anymore. But I can’t stop myself from doing this. I pull into his driveway before I know it and part of me is completely devastated to see her car here.

I rush out of the car and knock on the front door, a little more forcefully than I would have liked, but it’s too late now. When she doesn’t answer after ten seconds, I knock again, and that’s when Connor pulls into the driveway. I roll my eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Shawn, stop it. I can explain everything okay?”

“I don’t want to hear it from you, Brashier. I want to hear it from her.” I groan, “God dammit. Why isn’t she opening the door?”

“Fuck, okay. I will let you in, but you have calm down, alright? I can’t let you near her like this.”

“Or what? I’m not going to hurt her… You on the other hand. I’m having a hard time not punching you in the face.”

He sighs, “That’s fair, I guess. Just –” He’s cut off by the door unlocking and opening.

“Shawn? What are – what are you doing here?”

She’s wearing a baggy sweater, making it hard for me to see if she’s even showing. I push past her and into the house, Connor right on my heels.

“Shawn,” Connor pleads.

“I – are you?” I let out a deep breath, “Are you pregnant?”

“What?”

“Are. You. Pregnant.”

“Connor, did you-?”

“I’m sorry. It slipped out. You just told me it was a girl, I wasn’t thinking. I was so happy and I just-”

“I told you I was gonna tell him myself.”

“Can somebody fucking tell me something? Are you pregnant?”

She sighs, and scrubs her hands over her perfect, makeup free face. “Yes.” She says finally.

I thread my fingers through my hair with a bitter laugh. “I’m gonna kill you,” I point to Connor, taking long strides to him “You lying, cheating, piece of shit.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Shawn, stop it!” Y/n steps between us, her hand on my chest. I look down at her, “What are you talking about?”

“It’s his, isn’t it?”

“What? Mendes is that-”

“You stop talking!” I say to him. “I want to hear it from her.”

“He’s not the father, dickhead. You are.”

“I am?” My harsh demeanor quickly changes as I look down at her. “We’re – we’re having a baby?”

“I’m having a baby.”

“But it’s mine.”

“Yeah, but we’re not together.”

“So what? You were just going to keep this from me? Have my fucking child and not tell me?”

“I was going to tell you!”

“When? Ten years from now?” When she doesn’t answer, I know that’s what she had planned on doing. “That’s my kid, y/n!”

“I know it is! God, I know she is! But what was I supposed to do, Shawn? We’re broken up. It’s not exactly a casual form of conversation. I didn’t really feel like responding to your album release news with a congratulations and ‘hey you’re gonna be a father.’ Okay?”

“No, not okay. I deserved to know about this whether we’re together or not.”

“I didn’t tell you because you have so much going on. The album, the tour. You can’t exactly handle a pregnant ex-girlfriend too.”

“That doesn’t matter!” I seethe. “You can’t keep it away from me. I’ll fight for custody if I have to.”

“Whoa, hey, Shawn. It’s not gonna come down to that.” Connor says, but we both ignore him.  

She crosses her arms over her chest. “You want to fight? Fine. But think about what that would do to your career. Not only would it be everywhere that I’m having a baby, but now it’s a custody battle? Do you really want your child to be forced into the spotlight before they’re even born?! The media is going to tear you apart. Tear me apart. I didn’t sign up for that. And I absolutely do not want that for my baby.”

Our baby. “We can keep it quiet! The media doesn’t have to know.”

She scoffs, “Yeah because it’s that easy. You’re Shawn fucking Mendes. You don’t have privacy anymore. You can’t keep a whole ass baby a secret. A whole fight for custody? Your family has to know, my family has to know, your team has to know. And no offense to your team, but someone is bound to slip and then all hell will break loose. There is no way to do this quietly with you.”

“What do you want me to do then? Quit? Because I will!” I reach for her waist but she retreats, making her way closer to Connor. I don’t know if she does it consciously, but something in me believes that there’s more going on than just friendship between them.

“And do what? Resent me for ruining your career?”

“Look, I’ll take time away from the spotlight and we’ll figure everything out.”

“You can’t! You go on tour next year!”

“I’ll cancel it! We can fix this. Fix us.” I point from me to her and she looks down with sad eyes.

“There’s no us, bubba. Me being pregnant doesn’t change that. A baby doesn’t mean we’re supposed to get back together. It doesn’t mean that. It can’t mean that.”

“Why not? Maybe this is what we needed? This is what was supposed to happen. What’s supposed to bring us back to what we used to be.”

She shakes her head, “No. I can’t be with you like that. Not anymore.”

“But-”

“I wish things were different, but this is what it is, Shawn.”

I feel like the air is being sucked from lungs just like it was months ago when she first said it. “Come on. Please… just come home with me.” I’m on my knees in front of her, pleading. “We can talk about this. We can figure this out. We can be together or not. I just – I have to be part of this baby’s life. It’s a girl? Let me be in her life.”

She sighs and when she looks at Connor, I know that she’s not doing this alone. But it kills me that she’s not doing this with me. “I don’t want to keep you from her. I’ve never wanted that. But I can’t do this right now. Okay? I can’t fight with you about this anymore.” She squats in front of me and takes my face in her hands. “Just give me time. Give me that.”

“How long is that gonna take?” I ask, locking my fingers in hers.

“I don’t know. But it’ll be soon. I’ll call you.”

I sigh, my eyes closed. “Can I – I know this’ll sound stupid,” I remove my hands from hers and look down at her stomach which is now showing just a little bit in her bunched-up sweater. “Can I feel her?”

She chuckles and it’s a sound I didn’t think I was ever going to hear again. “She’s not moving yet, but yeah.” She stands up and lifts her shirt enough for me to see the small bump. My hands reach for her and I rest my head against her stomach, kissing it once.

“We made that?” I ask in disbelief and I knew it was the wrong thing to say because she pulls her shirt down quickly after the words leave my mouth.

“I think it’d be best if you went home now.”

---

Y/n’s POV

I let out a sigh of relief when he’s finally out the door. But the relief is short lived when Connor opens his mouth.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head, “I don’t want to talk about it. I need to go process all of this. And try to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do about him seeing her once she’s born.”

“Let me help you.”

“No, I need to do this alone.” I walk past him but he grabs my hand, keeping me from going any farther. Neither of us move closer.

“Honey, please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t mean for it to come out.”

I stare down at his feet and take in a deep breath. “I know. I shouldn’t have asked you to keep this secret in the first place.”

“Y/n/n, please look at me.” The hand not holding mine slips under my chin and he lifts my head. “Please tell me you’re not mad.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

He frowns, “You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not mad at you. I promise.” I rest my forehead against his. “I’m mad at myself,” I admit. “I put you in a compromising position and I hate that it came to this. And I’m mad at him for coming at you. I’m mad at him for thinking that I would jump in bed with you the second I leave him. He knows we’re not that way. He knows that. And I’m mad that he would think so little of not just me, but you. You’re his friend, you wouldn’t do that.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, Connor. But in any case, why should it be his business if I was with you? How does that affect him?”

He shrugs, “Well, I mean. Right now, I get it. He thinks I’m trying to swoop in and take his place as Mae’s father.”

“But you’re not! You’re just – you’re my best friend. You weren’t about to let me do this by myself.”

“And he’ll understand that. In time. But just like you need that time to process, I think he does too. You’ve known for months, but he just found out he’s gonna be a dad. I think you both need time to figure out what’s best for you and the baby.”

“And what if he thinks the best is us getting back together?”

“You still have a say in that. Look, I know you’re not in love with him anymore. But who’s to say that those feelings won’t come back after this?”

“They won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

I sniffle, “Okay. So what do I do if they come back? Do I just up and leave you? Like you haven’t been here for me through this whole thing?”

“Hey, I’ll still be here. And no matter what you choose. I’m gonna support you one million percent. I’m in your corner for the rest of our lives. Get back with him or don’t. Let him fight for custody or don’t. Develop feelings for me or don’t, because let’s face it, now that you’re living with me, it’ll be kinda hard not to fall in love with me.”

I laugh and hit his arm. “Stop it.”

“I’m just saying,” he chuckles, “I know I have that irresistible charm.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“An idiot that just wants what’s best for his best friend.”

I nod, pulling away from him. “How many times can I say thank you before it becomes redundant?”

“I think we reached that point many years ago.”

I nod, “I’m gonna go to my room. I have a lot to think about.”

“You want me to call in dinner?”

I check the time on my phone. “It’s still early.”

“I know, just thinking ahead.”

“Yeah. Just not Chinese? I can’t handle the smell.”

“Right, the egg rolls got you last time. I’ve got it.”

“I love you, Connor,” I say and kiss his cheek.

He smiles softly, “I love you too.”

---

“This view is probably my favorite thing in the world,” I tell Shawn, staring out the large window of his living room.

“You’re my favorite view,” he mumbles into my neck, his hands slipping under my shirt.

I roll my eyes, “So cheesy, Mendes.”

“I can’t help it. You make me soft.”

“That is definitely not what you were saying last night,” I tease.

“Hey,” he warns, pinching my side. “You weren’t complaining then.”

“Well, how could I?”

He presses a soft kiss to my temple and then rests his chin on my shoulder. He stares out the window with me, watching the rain hit the ground and rooftops and awnings. “Love?” he says after a short while of silence.

“Hmm?”

“Would it be too scary to talk about the future right now?”

“What about it?”

“Like our future?” he says, his voice timid.

I turn in his arms, “What about our future, rockstar?”

“Do you see us having one?”

I run my fingers over his high cheekbones. “That’s a silly question. Of course, I do.”

“Like getting married? And having kids?”

I nod, “Yeah, those would be some of things I think about.”

“How many?”

“Kids?”

He nods, running his thumb lazily over my hip.

I think it over for a second. “Two. And if those are really good, maybe three. What about you?”

“I don’t care how many we have. As long as I have them with you.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I can’t help but laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“That’s a pretty good answer there.”

“What about getting married?”

“That is something I would like to do,” I answer nonchalantly.

“Me too. But I mean, I guess the real question is: would you take my last name?”

“Absolutely. I mean, just listen to how cute y/n Mendes sounds. I would be a fool not to take it. And you said it yourself, don’t be a fool.”

He laughs, one of those big, hearty laughs that I never get tired of hearing. “Are you always gonna use my lyrics against me?”

“Forever, baby.”

“Hey, so I know that having kids is a very distant thing right now. But we can practice, right?”

I bite my bottom lip, nodding. “I think practicing is a good idea.”

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Connor comes into view, kneeling by my bedside.

I take in a shuddery breath, and place my hand over his, hoping for the contact to offer me some type of relief, but it doesn’t. I just let out a choked sob and he springs from his spot, wrapping his arms around me the best he can without crushing me and Mae.

“Breathe for me, honey. Come on, in and out. In. One, two, three. And out. One, two, three, four, five.” I do as he instructs and he rubs soothing circles over my back. “Good, again.”

“Connor,” I say softly after I’ve finally centered myself.

“I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?”

“Be a parent. Co-parent with Shawn.”

“Why?” he asks, but it isn’t accusatory like I’m expecting it to be.

“We talked about kids. Wanting them, raising them. Our kids were gonna have two parents. Two loving parents. We were supposed to do this together. We were supposed to be together, raising her, and now? Now what?”

“You’re still gonna do this. And he’s gonna be part of Mae’s life. You’re gonna love her. He’s gonna love her. I’m gonna love her. This child will not be short on love, okay? You should not feel guilty because you’re not with him.”

“I can’t do this alone. I’m not enough for her.”

“You are not doing this alone, y/n. I’m right here. Shawn’s right there. You aren’t alone in this. I would never let that happen.”

I whimper, falling into his chest. “I’m scared I’ve messed everything up before it’s even happened.”

“You didn’t mess anything up.”

“I should have told him.”

“He knows now.”

“If Shawn fights for custody-”

“If he fights, then let him.”

“But his career. This’ll be everywhere. Every single news outlet will be down his throat. It’s not fair, or right. He can’t do this quietly because of who he is and it’s not fair to him.”

Connor chuckles and I pull back. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious.”

“I know you are. That’s why I can’t help it. You’re not worried about him bringing this to court, you’re worried about what people will think of him. That’s… the most you thing you’ve ever said. He’s not worried about any of that. Why are you?”

“Because he worked hard for what he has. I don’t want anyone thinking less of him because his ex-girlfriend is pregnant. They could spin it around, saying he walked out on us. And if they find out about it and he doesn’t fight, I don’t want them to think he doesn’t care. That he’s doing nothing. I don’t want this to be a bigger deal than it needs to be. He’s had to put up with so much of his life being in the media. He doesn’t need this out there too.”

He sighs and takes the sides of my face before pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. “You’re precious, y/n y/l/n.”

“Connor, stop.”

“No, I’m serious. You could be so selfish in a time like this and you’re not. You’re worried about your ex-boyfriend because you don’t want anyone to think less of him.”

I scoff and bring my hand to my lips, biting subconsciously at my nails (A habit that I thought I had kicked years ago), “Why does it suddenly feel like I’m falling headfirst from a thirty-story building.”

He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I’ve got you now, honey. I won’t let you fall.” He stays with me until I fall asleep, murmuring soft nothings into my hair. “You’re gonna be a great mother, y/n. I know you are,” he says quietly.

“Con?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you help me with something.”

“Anything. What is it?”

“Help me figure out this custody thing. I want something fair without the court.”

He places a soft kiss to my forehead, “Okay. Whatever you want.”

***

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[flor3nces]

just a prank! | connor brashier x fem!reader :)

i turned on the small camera as it faced me.

i introduced the video and explained my plan, “okay so i’ve never pranked him before so i’m just going to see how this goes, i just need to make sure i don’t laugh or give it away,” i chuckled.

i hid the camera in a very covered area where he would never notice unless he was searching for it.

i laid on the sofa and shouted him into the living room.

“connor?”

“yeah,” he shouted from the top of the stairs.

“come here.”

i breathed deeply and tried to think of something sad as he walked towards me, i really gotta turn on my acting skills.

“yeah hunny?” he asked as he plopped himself on top of my body.

“connor get up, i want you to take this seriously,” i said without laughing. so far so good.

“what? what’s wrong?” he said now concerned.

“promise you won’t shout at me?”

“what? yeah yeah, i promise,” he said holding up his pinky. precious baby, this is gunna be hard.

i interlocked mine with his then dropped my hand, his following as they stayed connected.

“i-i think we should see other people.”

his face dropped and i could tell i caught him off guard.

“what? baby, what do you mean?”

“it’s just, i don’t know. i don’t feel the same spark that was there from the start.”

his eyes glossed over, “why? i do,” he said making my heart shatter for him. i just wanted to tell him it was a prank and give him the biggest hug ever and tell him how much i love him.

but it’s just a prank, so i can’t.

“i just- i don’t see you in my future,” i cringed at my words here i am telling this man he means nothing to me anymore when he literally means everything to me. he isn’t just a part of my future, he is my future.

i saw a few single tears spill but he was quick to lift his hand and wipe them away.

“what did i do wrong? i’ll change i promise, just tell me what i did,” he said in a panicky tone. he sounded desperate for an answer.

“connor you didn’t do anything, it’s not your fault. i’m just not in love with you anymore.”

that set him off.

silent sobs escaped his lips as his eyes closed, in hope to prevent any more tears falling.

“i don’t get it,” he mumbled through his sobs.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for you to be so upset.”

instead of a reply, all i got was more and more cries coming from him.

i realized that it had gone on to far and decided to tell him. i couldn’t continue breaking him down.

i grabbed his cheeks and looked into his bloodshot, tear filled eyes.

“my love, it’s a prank. i still love you.” i told him, kissing him repeatedly.

“really?” he asked, genuinely quite shocked.

damn. i must be a good ass actress.

“yes connor,” i laughed at his relieved tone.

“wait, so you still love me?” he asked, sounding a little nervous for his answer.

“oh my god, of course i do hun,” you squished his cheeks and kissed his lips once more.

he let out a small sigh.

“where’s the camera?” he asked, laughing softly.

i pointed to the desk where it was hidden.

connor stood up and walked towards it. he picked it up and faced it towards him.

“everyone unsubscribe to y/n-“

i let out a laugh.

“oh my god, shut up connor!”

[mywrittingwonderland]

Pictours (feat. Uncle Connor)

Hello Pretty People? How are you doing?

To read more of Peter: dAdvices

- - - -

“Peter, are you lost?”

“Hi uncle Connor, have you seen Daddy?”

“He is at soundcheck Pete”

“Oh... okay, I will wait then.”

“Where is your mum?”

“Mummy was giving Els a shower uncle Connor, so I ran here to tell daddy something”

“Does she knows you are here Bub?”

“Not really?”

“Peter! You can’t do that, I will call your mum okay?”

“Okay.”

“Hi... Mhm... don’t worry he is here with me, he will help me take some pictures... Right, Peter?”

“Mhm”

“Mum wants to talk with you”

“Hi mummy... yes I know, I am sorry mummy. I just had to show dad something, but he is checking his sound now... okay mummy, I love you too.”

“All right then, come help me with the pictures?”

“Yes! Uncle Connor?”

“What’s up?”

“Can I try to take some pictours?”

“I loved that! Sure thing, we will both get some pictours, I will get you a small camera with a string on for your neck, so you don’t let it fall, okay?”

“Yes. Uncle Connor?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome Little one, let’s go see dad and take pictours from soundcheck?”

“Okay, how do I do?”

“You look in this screen to see the picture you are taking, and then you click here in this button, try now”

Peter then tried to take a picture of Shawn.

“Oh, hi Peter!”

“No! Dad, you ruined the pictour”

“Oh, I am sorry baby. Does mummy knows you are here helping uncle Connor?”

“She does daddy.”

“Okay good, sorry if he is taking your time Con.”

“It’s fine, go back to your songs, he is my pictours’ guy today.”

“You heard him daddy.”

- - - -

General Taglist: @arypesanchez @turtoix @ivegotparticulartaste @lanallaa  

Connor Brashier Taglist: @tinycertain @sunshineshawnm @fanficscuziranout

[messagefromtheveins]

California Nights

A/N: Don’t know if I’ll end up regretting this 😬 but you asked for it so here you go: my first (and possibly only) very much mediocre Connor smut! 

Words: 3.6k

Pairing: Connor/Reader

Warning: smut

Running a hand through your hair and fixing your makeup one last time, you tucked the little mirror back into your purse before you stepped up to the door and knocked. It took a couple of seconds before the door opened, revealing a smiling Connor- a view you had missed more than you wanted to admit. Breathing your name, he held an arm open for you and pulled you in as soon as you were close enough, tucking you against his chest and placing a kiss on your cheek.

"Hi, Connor," you smiled, blushing a bit as he gave your waist a gentle squeeze before he pulled back.

"Come in," he murmured and stepped aside, letting you fully enter the hotel room before he closed and locked the door.

Connor and you had been friends since high school. Not super close or even best friends, but friends. Just enough that it wasn't awkward when the two of you had ended up in bed after a party, but also not enough that you feared how it would affect your friendship. Instead you had shrugged it off as a one time thing and moved on. Then you had shrugged it off as a two time thing. Maybe a three time thing. Until you had finally decided to just keep it up, with the most serious pinky promise of all time that you wouldn't catch feelings- it was just sex to relieve stress. Nothing more.

So when he had gone off to travel the world things had been put on a hold. You met up when he was in town or when you were close enough- being the PA of a CEO of a huge company often led to you having to travel to other countries and sometimes you just ended up being in the same city as Connor, or at least close enough that you were able to meet for the night.

"I'm surprised you're not at home," you noticed while placing your purse aside and taking off your light jacket and shoes, hearing him chuckle behind you.

"Everyone keeps saying that," he told you and handed you a bottle of water that you took with a grateful smile. "With traffic and everything the arena is like a two hour long drive from home. That's just too much after a long day," he explained with a shrug and sat down on the edge of the huge bed, "but I'm going home to visit my parents tomorrow."

Placing the bottle down on the table, you stepped over to him and gave him a soft smile as he tilted his head to look up to you. "So you've been working all day long?" you cooed, his hands lightly placing on the outside of your thighs as you stepped up between his legs. His eyelids briefly fluttered as you combed your hands through his damp hair, a strong scent of hotel shampoo lingering on his skin. Humming and nodding his head, he grinned as you gently scratched your nails over his scalp. "Why don't you get comfortable and let me help you relax?" you suggested.

A feeling of excitement rushed through his body as he shifted back on the bed, quickly arranging the pillows against the headboard so he was able to lean back, his legs stretched out and eyes closely watching you. The way you crawled over him and looked at him with those eyes was enough to have him fully hard and throbbing, your hands slowly sneaking beneath his T-shirt. His muscles tensed under your palms as you traced them up his stomach, his torso lifting off the pillows and arms raising so you could pull the piece of clothing off.

He completely relaxed beneath you as you leaned in to place kisses over his neck, his hands automatically finding your waist while his eyes fell shut. Your weight settled down on his lap as you straddled him, your hands caressing his torso while your lips found sensitive spots on his neck he hadn't even known existed until he had met you. Fingers slipping beneath your T-shirt, he slowly pushed it up and forced his eyes open as your lips left his neck.

His hands gripped your waist as you grasped the hem of your T-shirt and pulled it over your head, his eyes eagerly trailing over your body. You were wearing that bra again. You knew exactly how much it drove him insane- and you had to hold back a laugh as you noticed how his jaw clenched. Grinning, you leaned down and found his lips in a soft kiss that he didn't hesitate to deepen. He was just about to move his hands down to your hips, wanting to tug you up so you could grind on him and finally give him some kind of friction, when you beat him to it by bringing your hands down.

Nimble fingers undid his belt, followed by the button of his jeans before the sound of the zipper pulling down reached his ears. His teeth tugged on your bottom lip and his hands roamed your back, a low groan falling from his throat as you palmed him over his clothes before you reached beneath his boxers.

Breaking away from your lips with a deep groan, he shakily breathed your name, the feeling of your hand around his fully hard length making his head spin for a moment. Swallowing heavily, he reached down to push his jeans and boxers down just below his balls, the sight of your hand around him something he had seen so often and yet it left him breathless every single time. Before he fully got to enjoy the feeling though you climbed off him, his hand replacing yours and giving himself some slow and lazy pumps while you stood at the end of the bed.

You pulled his jeans and boxers off his legs, leaving both on the floor without another thought, about to crawl on the bed again when he shook his head. "Jeans, baby," he murmured and made a little motion with his free hand. He watched with eager eyes as you took your jeans off, his cock twitching in his palm as he took in the way the set of lingerie hugged your body so perfectly.

Licking over his bottom lip, he didn't take his eyes off you as you climbed on the bed again, your soft lips touching his chest in chaste kisses before you started to trail them further down. He didn't let go of his cock until you mouthed along his happy trail and your own hand wrapped around him, a low chuckle falling from his lips as you pushed him away.

He took a deep breath and placed an arm behind his head, his legs spreading a bit further as you settled down between them. The way you looked up to him while licking a broad stripe up along the underside of his cock made him whimper quietly, his hand cupping the side of your head as your tongue reached his tip. Quietly cursing under his breath, he saw the little smile that tugged at the corner of your lips before you took his tip into your mouth, his eyes fluttering shut for a few seconds. A deep moan rumbled in his chest, his hand sliding to rest around the back of your head as you took more of him.

"So good to me," he mumbled so quietly that you barely heard it, your eyes briefly finding his that watched you intently. You quickly fell into a pattern of bobbing your head and pumping the bit that you couldn't fit, cheeks hollowing out and tongue teasing the head over and over. He moved his other hand down too, fingers tangling into your hair and lightly guiding you.

He was so tempted to just let you make him come like that, the feeling of your mouth around him too distracting, but he spoke up before his brain even registered it. "Hold on," he murmured, almost smiling as you immediately pulled back and looked at him with worried eyes.

"What's wrong?" you asked, his head shaking.

"Nothing," he whispered and grabbed your wrists to tug you up, "just want to try something."

Raising an intrigued eyebrow, you stayed silent as he fiddled with the straps of your bra before he moved his hands to your back. A simple look from you was enough for him to quickly open the clasp, a grin spreading over your like as you tossed your bra aside. "What's the plan?" you wanted to know as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down with your help.

"Turn around," he told you, his voice surprisingly soft, "and sit on my face."

Your cheeks immediately flushed and your heart started beating faster in excitement, the two of you slightly clumsy for a second as he slid down the bed until he was flat on his back before you crawled over him. You experienced a moment of insecurity and feeling too exposed, but it was forgotten when he placed his hands on your hips and gently tugged you down, his tongue finding your clit.

Shakily moaning his name, you tossed your head back and simply reveled in the feeling of his mouth working on your core in the best ways before you leaned forward. Your chest pressed against his stomach and your hand found the base of his cock again, your mouth returning just a second later. The way he moaned against your core made you moan around him, his thighs tensing in response.

It almost turned into a game. If he quickened his pace, you did the same. If he slowed down, you did the same. If he moaned, you moaned- and vice versa. Until he was too close and you weren't. When you slowed down again, he didn't. Instead he sped up even more and tugged on your hips to push you more against his tongue.

He wanted to tell you to slow down, to give him a minute to catch up, but his high approached much faster than he had expected. His toes curled and he hummed against your clit in warning, to which you only took him deeper into you mouth. Both of your hands braced on his hips to keep him down- you knew him too well by now.

He broke away from you with a surprisingly quiet moan as he reached his high, his length twitching against your tongue as he released, shooting hot spurts down your throat and making you struggle to swallow all of it for a moment. His hips squirmed below you, trying to buck up into your mouth and a whine falling from his lips as you kept him down against the mattress.

Pulling off with a wet sound, you realized that you hadn't gotten everything and licked off the trail of cum that slowly trickled down his dick, a low whimper falling from his lips. "Fuck," he sighed and exhaled deeply, his hands giving your thighs a gentle squeeze.

Taking a quick- really quick- moment to catch his breath, he pulled your hips back down and buried his face between your thighs again, your cry of surprise making him chuckle. "God, shut up," you groaned and rested your forehead against his thigh. He guided you to slowly rock your hips back and forth until you started to ride his face, your movements unsure at first, but then you grew more confident. Pushing yourself up, you braced your hands on his chest and bit your lip, but the sounds of absolute pleasure left your mouth anyway.

He every now and then released a soft moan against your core that had you trembling every time, your moans and whimpers getting higher and more frequent until you finally came undone. He tightly held your hips to stop you from moving away, his tongue working you through it while you squirmed on top of him and lightly dug your nails into his chest.

"Stop," your breathless whimper eventually reached him, your clit too sensitive. He pulled back after leaving one last kiss on your core, your thighs trembling as you pushed yourself up and simply flopped down on your belly beside him, upside down on the bed with your feet touching the headboard. He chuckled and brushed the back of his hand over his wet chin before he reached out to you.

His hand placed on the back of your thigh, massaging the tired muscles and slowly moving higher up until his palm rested on your butt. He switched between caressing the cheeks to playfully grabbing one before he went back to caressing while you panted against the sheets, eyes closed and cheek squished against the bed. "You're amazing, did I ever tell you that?" he suddenly spoke up, interrupting the comfortable silence that had settled in the room.

You quietly laughed into the sheets. "Maybe once or twice," you responded and squealed in surprise as he gave your bum a playful pinch- both of you knowing exactly that he told you that all the time. "I guess you're kinda okay, too," you added and squirmed with a quiet sound as he gave your right cheek a little smack. You held your breath, hoping that he would do it again, but he didn't. Instead he went back to caressing your skin, a feeling of disappointment filling your chest.

But it didn't take long until he made up for it. His caresses slowly moved lower until his fingers lightly brushed your folds every now and then, a grin spreading over his lips as he noticed how you immediately tilted your hips towards him and spread your legs a little more. Biting his lip, he simply brushed a finger back and forth over your skin for a moment before he slowly, so slowly that you whined in protest, pushed a finger into you.

Your fingers curled into the sheets and you lightly rocked your hips down, frowning as he pulled his finger back out just to add another one. You sighed, though it turned into another whine as he only pushed in to the second knuckle before he pulled them back again. "Con," you mumbled in a begging tone and shifted your hips in an attempt to take more, but he only pulled his fingers back again.

"What do you need?" he whispered, fingertips lightly caressing your walls and just barely missing that one spot that would make you scream his name.

"More," you whimpered, your head turning to catch his gaze. He was comfortably settled back against the pillows, a hand lazily wrapped around his length that was starting to get hard again, a smirk resting on his satisfied and yet hungry features. "I need you," you added in the kind of begging voice that always had him weak for you.

Inhaling deeply, he moved his hand over his cock a bit faster while he still slowly pumped his fingers in and out of you until he was fully hard again. Hands leaving both your and his body, he pushed a hand under the pillows and pulled a little square out from beneath. It had become a bit of a habit to place at least one condom under the pillows when he knew that you were coming over so you didn't have to deal with the awkward searching for one in his messy suitcase.

You turned your head back to the front while he quickly rolled it on, hearing him shift around and feeling the bed dip under his movements before he appeared above you, knees bracketing yours and hands bracing on either side of you. His body slowly, almost carefully, lowered down on yours, his weight a weirdly comforting feeling. Lips placing soft kisses over your shoulders and the back of your neck, he shifted before the head of his cock pushed against your folds.

Your head dropped forward, forehead resting against the mattress as he slowly pushed into you, his length stretching you out in ways you had missed- not that you would ever admit it. He gasped against your shoulder and curled his fingers into the sheets, throbbing deep inside of you as he gave you a moment to adjust. "You feel so good," he whispered against your skin and placed a soft kiss on your shoulder blade, your hips slightly wriggling- which was his sign.

He started to slowly roll his hips, his head tucking into the side of your neck as he took in how amazing you felt around him, warm and slick walls hugging every inch of him so perfectly- almost like he was the puzzle piece your body was missing. He quickly pushed the thought away again, knowing that it was leading him to dangerous territories that he wasn't ready to think about yet.

Pushing himself up on his hands, he released a soft groan and picked up the pace, his skin lightly slapping against yours every time he thrust into you. "Fuck, Connor," you whimpered and writhed against the sheets in a way that made his abdomen tense, heat filling his lower stomach.

Seeing you like this below him- so pretty and willing, all for him to take- made something inside of him snap. Back when you had started all of this you had agreed on no hickeys, especially once you had started your jobs and he was surrounded by a noisy crew all day long while you were in important meetings with clients all the time. But in that moment he couldn't stop himself.

Pressing his weight down on your body, he nuzzled his face into the side of your neck again and attached his lips to your skin, making sure to keep the pace of his thrusts up. He was surprised when you didn't stop him, but instead released a soft cry of pleasure and tilted your hips for a better angle that allowed him to slide even deeper into you.

His deep grunt was muffled against your skin, his lips not leaving your neck until he was sure that he had left a decent mark behind that would stay for a couple of days. You wanted to beg for more, but the thought was gone as quick as it had come as he pulled out of you and sat up on his knees behind you. Your disagreeing whine turned into a moan as he swiftly tugged your hips up, your chest staying pressed against the bed, before he was back inside of you.

It only took four or five thrusts before he managed to hit your g-spot, your spine immediately arching and arms stretching up to grab the edge of the bed with your hands while you released a drawn out moan. The position allowed you to rock your hips back against him and meet his thrusts, but he held you in place. "Let me-" he never finished his sentence that ended in a soft gasp as your walls clenched around him.

One of his hands reached around you, two fingers finding your clit and tracing quick patterns over the bundle of nerves. Your head turned to look at him, blown wide eyes meeting blown wide eyes, lust evident in both pairs. You didn't need to say it, he knew that you were close- and he did everything he possibly could to make you come first.

He put all of his effort into his thrusts, aiming for that spot while he moved his fingers in all the right ways over your clit. Your thighs started to tremble and you weren't sure if you would be able to hold yourself up, walls tensing around him and pulling a grunt from him. Turning your head back to the front, you pushed your face into the sheets right as you came, muffling your moans and cries of pleasure.

The way your walls wildly clenched around him threw him over the edge, the motions of his fingers on your clit faltering as he came with a deep moan of your name. He got light headed for a moment, white spots dancing in front of his eyes and his teeth harshly digging into his lip. With a final whimper he came to a stop, his body falling forward and pushing you into the mattress.

Both of you were gasping for breath, a low sound escaping your lips as he carefully pulled out of you before his full weight was back on top of you. It was only when you had caught your breath and regained any kind of feeling in your legs that you realized how comfortable you felt with him on top of you like this- too comfortable.

"Shit, Brash. Get off," you groaned, secretly feeling a bit disappointed as he rolled off you and laid on his back next to you instead.

You didn't manage to open your eyes as he shifted and nuzzled his nose against your shoulder. "Hey, look at me," he murmured, your head slowly turning before you forced your heavy eyelids to open. He gave you a soft smile that you returned a bit weakly. "I missed you, babe," he whispered and placed a soft peck on your lips before he climbed off the bed.

You watched him as he stepped over to the bathroom, tugging the condom off on the way and unknowingly making you blush. You waited until he closed the door before you rolled to lay on your back with a heavy sigh, your hands running through your hair. "What the hell are you doing to me, Connor?" you whispered to yourself and buried your face into your hands.

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[shhawnboi]

Dad’s Approval | Connor Brashier

Summary: Your dad hates Connor so much that even he starts questioning himself and it’s your job to remind him why he can’t be more wrong.

Word Account: 2K

A/N: This is my first imagine ever, so sorry if it’s to cringey and disappointing. Also, English it’s not my first language, excuse my poor vocabulary and grammar and please tell me major mistakes to correct them.  

                                                          *  *  *  *

Y/D/N Y/L/N, your father, is Connor’s second worst nightmare, the first one being losing you. Mister Y/L/N is the boss of the biggest lawyer’s firm on LA, he is feared and respected everywhere because he has enough power to bring everyone he wants down, and that includes Connor, luckily this hasn’t happened to him, yet.

Your dad adores you. You are his pride and joy he just wants the best for you and he thinks that Connor, a simple boy with a camera, will never be enough, so he takes every chance he gets to remind you both, that. You don’t care about you dad’s nagging words but Connor does because he can’t help but agreeing with him. You deserve better than him and he is a selfish jerk for keeping you all to himself, but he can’t bear the idea of letting you go.

Last Monday your dad called to invite you two for dinner at his favorite restaurant ‘Saint Japher’, a place designed for the upper class with menus that just a few of privileged people can afford, and in that group of people Connor isn’t included. Your father does every other time for two main reasons: to see if you are still together and to drag Connor’s confidence down (task that he has always accomplished successfully). Connor has always tried to win your dad’s favor but to Y/D/N’s eyes, Connor was just a kid who plays with a camera and think that’s a job.

When Connor wakes up, the first thing he sees is your beautiful figure cuddled against his right side. Your body is covered by just his shirt and nothing more, and it makes him feel all cozy inside because it means that all of you is his. You are completely knocked out, it’s a normal occurrence whenever you see your father, he never fails on getting on your nerves and tiring you to death, especially when he starts throwing knives at Connor like there’s no tomorrow. Connor gives you a light kiss on your forehead and decides to go out for a run, he needs it to clear his mind a little. When he steps out of bed you start moving on your sleep but you don’t get up. He tries not to make too much noise while he’s getting dressed and when he is finally out of the house, he lets a long exhale escape from his lips. Con knows that he shouldn’t give a fuck about what your dad thinks about him but he does because he agrees with your father, you deserve better.  

By the time Connor starts running following the peace of some catchy pop song, every snarky word your dad said yesterday comes to his mind, crashing him with the force of wave colliding against the rocks.

“Do you remember Thomas Lebrant, darling?” asked you father while he was looking at the menu.

“Yes dad, I remember Tom.” of course you did remember Tom, you dated him for a year... before you left him for Connor.

“I saw him him the other day, he’s doing great at medical school, he will have a bright future, he’s a very hard-working man, he asked me about you. I really think he was your perfect match.”  

Connor remembered Thomas too, your first boyfriend, he was the guy every father wanted for his daughter: perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect behavior... he was just perfect. You started dating him when you were seventeen and spent a whole year with him, but when you met Connor you started to feel things you had never felt before and you had to break up.  

Con will never forget the day he saw you for the first time. It was a sunny day in LA, he was at the beach with Sam doing a photoshoot with an Instagram model called Lydia Hanni, she was laying on the hot sand and he was supposed to be taking photos of her body, but he couldn’t focus his camera on her, he was too busy filming the beautiful girl playing frisbee with her friends. When you noticed a pair of eyes on you, you turned around and saw Connor with his camera. He waved his hand to say ‘hi’ and you smiled, at that moment Connor swears he felt his whole world stop. That was the beginning of your love story and your dad’s worst headache ever.

“Good for him, dad. I guess you told him that I’m doing pretty good with Uni and my lovely boyfriend.” you reached for Connor’s hand and you pressed a little kiss on it. Your father let out a sigh and Connor smiled at you. You had the power to make everything better.

“I told him you had a little adventure with some guy.”

‘A two years adventure’ thought Connor.

At first he thought that her dad needed time to warm up to him, but time passed and he didn’t change his mindset. He hoped that when he started working for Shawn your dad would be happy, but that didn’t occur, in fact, he got pissed because he was going with his friends to have fun in Europe leaving you alone. Nothing he does it’s good for your dad and that’s eating him alive. He tries to ignore it but it gets harder every single day.  

“Have you found a real job yet?”

“My friend is looking for a coffee guy for his office, I could call him if you are interested?”

“How much has your boss payed you for your hobby? I mean, it’s not a very hard task.”

“Did you have fun on tour? Doing nothing playing with your friends?”

He loves his job and he’s proud of it but he is starting to believe that it’s not enough for you. Your father is right, you are worth of a rich, wealthy man that can give you all you want in matter of minutes. You always say that he’s the best that has ever happened to you, but now he thinks you say that because he’s keeping you away from greater things that you’ll never discover if you’re with him.

When he arrives home after an hour of running, he goes straight to the shower, maybe that’s what he needs to clear his mind for good. Once the hot water hits his muscles, he lets a satisfied moan, a hot shower never fails to relax him.

You wake up the moment you hear the water running from the bathroom, you guess that’s Connor having a morning shower but once you notice his sport clothes scattered across the bedroom floor, you know he’s probably gone out to clear his mind a little. You can’t blame him though, the shitshow your dad pulled yesterday at the restaurant was capable to put everyone on the edge of their sanity. You have talked nearly a billion times with your dad about his behavior with your boyfriend but he always ignores it. You’re sick of it because Connor doesn’t deserve an ounce of the shit your father aims at him, no one really deserves it to be honest. Your boyfriend is the best that has ever happened to you and you’re so proud and in love with him that whenever your dad opens his big mouth, your heart breaks a little.

You decide to get out of bed and get into the shower with him to show him some love. You get rid of your shirt when you enter the bathroom. Connor hasn’t realized yet that you’re there and very much awake so you got him by surprise when you stepped into the shower.

Everything in you is alluring and lovely to Connor’s eyes and your body is no exception. He loved and praised every inch of it, it’s his temple, the place where all his problems disappear. He was completely addicted to it, therefore when you decide to enter the shower, his first instinct is to pull your naked body closer to his.

“Hi, love.” this pet-name always sends shivers down your spine and makes you smile like an idiot “How are you?” you were both under the hot stream of water, nose and foreheads touching and eyes closed.

“That’s what I should be asking, handsome.” you whisper as you kiss him delicately, like you’re afraid of breaking him.  

“I’ve been better.” he confesses with a forced smile. He doesn’t want you to worry about him but you know too well that grimace on his face and the dull look on his beautiful eyes.

“I’m so sorry about my dad, I can’t believe what an asshole he can be.” you’re really ashamed by your father, he never respects your decisions or opinions, each time he tries to impose his no matter what.  

“You don’t have to excuse him, I mean, he’s not wrong.” he looks away because he knows that if he sees your breathtaking eyes, he’ll break down in matter of seconds.

“What do you mean he’s not wrong, Con?” you hold his face between your hands and you make him look at you.

“He’s right about me.” he says heartbroken.

“No, he’s not, baby.” you try to reason with him but he doesn’t take it and watching him so sad is destroying you.

“C’mon Y/N, he’s right. You are this beautiful, kind, smart and amazing woman and I’m a kid with a camera. All your life you’ve been surrounded by the most incredible things on Earth, your dad could give you all you wanted. I’ll never be able to do that, I can’t take you to Bali every month, I can’t pay your studies... You know who could? Thomas, he was perfect for you and I took you away, if you were with him, I bet you’d be happier becau...” you smack his chest before he can finish his ridiculous speech, now you’re pissed and frustrated, he can’t be saying all of that, can he?

“I swear to god, Connor David Brashier, that if you say something like all the bullshit you have just said, I’ll kick you out of the house until your two remaining brain cells realize how utterly stupid you are.”

“Bab...” he tries to interrupt you but you shut him off before he can argue back.

“Don’t ‘Babe’ me, idiot. Connor, I love you, more than anything, you’re my world. Listen, maybe my dad has always given me whatever the hell I wanted, do you know the price? He was never there for me, I was left alone 24/7, on my birthdays, recitals, competitions, even in my own graduation, he showered me with gifts but not love. And Tom, he was a nice guy, he treated me right and all of that, always so perfect, it was boring as fuck: we never stayed three days in a row at home doing nothing besides fucking and eating, he never surprised me with 3 AM dates at the beach or with little getaways at Target... Tom was just there but he didn’t make me feel anything, not the way you do. I want you. You’re the best part of my life and I can’t imagine a future without you. I don’t care about monthly travels to Bali, I care about months just by your side. I love you Connor, you’re perfect.”

Once you finish your monologue, you notice he’s crying. You clean his tears with your soft fingers and he kisses you passionately against the shower wall.

“I love you, Y/N” he embraces you strongly, afraid that if he loosens his grip, you’ll disappear.  

“I love you Connor, let me show you.” you kneel down and that’s the only thing Connor needs to know that he’s in for a very long morning and he’s so ready for it.

                                                       * * * * 

I hope you all have enjoyed it. Please like, comment or repost if you liked it. Right now, I’m working on a long Shawn Mendes fic, tell me if you’d like to read it.

[creepersjeeperss-blog]

Used To This | CB

summary: you wake up with connor by your side and realised you could get used to forever looking like this

warnings: kissing??

genre: FLUFF

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so, this is my new blog. hi! i left my old blog @tinycertain for reasons you can check out on that page but without further or do i introduce you to my new blog which is authentically all me. enjoy this short piece i wrote earlier in attempts to cheer myself up, feel free to lmk if you prefer connor or shawn or anyone else. reblog and leave some feedback please!

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You awoke to the sun shining through the open curtains, causing you to turn away in an attempt to savour any remaining moments of sleep. You groaned after realising it just weren’t going to happen and reached for your phone on the bedside table which read 09:30am.

Just as you were about to let out a mini protest on being up so early on a Saturday you felt the bed dip behind you with your boyfriends weight. You turned around and smiled slightly, still in a sleepy haze.

Connor found you the cutest when you were sleepy; of course to him you were constantly cute but there was something about how dozy and yet clingy you were that made him fall in love with you more every time.

“Morning baby,” he whispered in your ear, smirking slightly as goosebumps arose on your neck.

You mumbled back some sort of reply which led to him chuckling and then flipping you onto your back as he straddled your lower body. He lent down to wake you up with a kiss before he felt a hand to his chest as you pushed him away slightly.

He frowned and silently asked what was up to which you replied with, “morning breath bubs.”

“Y/n I don’t care, I just wanna wake my baby up the proper way: with a kiss.”

You swooned over your boyfriend of two years, Connor was everything you wanted in a partner and he came out with the cutest things but you were determined to brush your teeth before you let him anywhere near your mouth. You wanted him to hang around for as long as possible, not run away after smelling your breath of a morning.

He reluctantly let you out of his hold with a pout on his lips as he watched you saunter into your shared bathroom. However he couldn’t stay pouty for long, as he watched you walk away and smiled to himself as he thought about how he couldn’t wait to ask you to marry him next month so you could do this domestic shit with each other forever.

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okay this was so short which i am sorry for but i’m still getting back into the whole writing thing and there’s a lot going on right now. i don’t have a lot of followers atm because this is my new blog so i’d really appreciate it if you guys reblogged this for me and hit the follow button. feedback would also be greatly appreciated, ily guys!

[mendesbhraanth]

Hi beautiful sending you love mwah 😘😘 just wanted to know if you can write something were you hear Shawn talk badly about you so you distance yourself. Please.

Thank you so much for requesting!! 😘😘

Pairing : Shawn x y/n

Warnings : language and angst

Word count : 2.8 k

The first thing you heard when you opened the door to Shawn's condo was basically loud laughter of people including your boyfriend's. You just came back from work, a bit earlier than usual because shawn had been complaining about how he doesn't get to spend time with you because work has been crazy for you and you had a lot of files to finish and you were hella tired of your boss being a complete asshole, who never lets anyone stay home and he was no different to you. Anyways you were not at all aware of the fact that he had guests over.

The sound was coming from the living area of Shawn's penthouse apartment and apart from Shawn's, you recognised the laughter as Brian's, and Connor's. A small smile creeped on your face. You absolutely adored Shawn's friends so you walked towards the living to say 'hi' to them.

You were close enough to hear what they were talking about when your legs came to halt at the mention of you name.

"So how's life with y/n? Tour's over....You're free and now that y/n is staying with you, you must have a lot of cheesy things to say" Connor said whilst laughing.

"Oh yeah I actually do but not right now because why the hell would you mention my so called clingy girlfriend?" Shawn said and Brian laughed so loudly at that but your heart stopped.

"What??! What are you saying?!?" Connor said because shawn has been the most "I'm obsessed with my girlfriend and she is my goddess!!" Type of guy he had ever met.

"I said y/n is extremely clingy and annoying and I don't have anything good to say about her right now so please stop talking about that hoe!!" Shawn said and started laughing like crazy with Brian. Both of their laughs clouding your mind. You just stood there not able to comprehend anything.

You turned around silently, grabbed your keys and left the apartment in the same clothes you came in.

You got in your car and started driving slowly. You were now driving to nowhere for about 30 mins.

The moment you processed the words shawn said you slammed the break and your head came down on the stearing wheel with a plasticy bang.. must have been painfull.. ow poor y/n.

Did he really say that?!? Does he think I'm an annoying clingy hoe?!? Hell! "HE" was the one who wanted me to stay home and spend time with 'HIM'!! And I'm clingy?!? Is this the guy you've been in love with for what? Like 3 years?!! How could he call you a hoe!?! Why would any boyfriend disrespect his girlfriend like that??!? This is the worst day ever!!

All these thoughts were knocked out from your mind by a loud honking sound. You were basically in the middle of a road and by now, there were tons of cars parked behind you. Wow! You just created a big traffic block in the middle of Toronto city. Go you!! *Claps of sarcasm*

You quickly turned around and took another route to make your way back to Shawn's apartment like nothing happened. Haha asshole! but sometimes you gotta act like you weren't the cause of a huge ass traffic block..

You didn't know exactly why you were going back. To lay it onto him?? To get your things?? I don't know but you got home with slouched shoulders and an emotion less face.

You were about to reach and open the door when Shawn opened the door and a bright smile appeared on his face on seeing you which almost made you forget about the things he just said. Eh but not really.

"Baby!!!! I missed you so much today!!" He said and went in for a hug and you hugged him back it was as if someone was clawing at your heart.

"I'm just gonna walk these guys out and I'll be back in a second okay? You get freshened by then" He said sweetly but right now his words seemed anything but sweet!

How dare he say that to them and then act like nothing happened?? That too infront of them?!?! Which speaking of-!

"Hey y/n!!!" Connor and Brian said at the same time and both hugged you and you silently hugged them back, with a fake smile that could basically convince anyone but not Shawn.

"You guys go ahead I'll come in a sec" he said and turned to you.

"Okay then Bye y/n" they both bid their goodbyes and made their way to the lift.

"Hey what happened baby? Any problem with your boss??" Shawn asked tilting your chin up to look you in the eyes.There was evident hurt in them.

You were debating to weather tell him or push him away but you didn't choose any of that.

"Yeah..had a bad day at work"

"Aww baby you go inside and sit down okay! I'll be back after properly saying goodbye to the guys and you can tell me all about your day. Alright?" He asked sweetly but it sounded like straight up sarcasm to you but you chose not to call him out right now.

He gave you a short peck and there he goes ....'probably gonna talk more shit about me' you thought to your self which and it made you feel like your heart was stabbing itself.

You went inside and sat yourself on the couch. The same couch where the love of your life talked shit about you being a clingy hoe. (Sorry I'm just over dramatic 😅)

About 5 mins later shawn came in and sat by your side.

"What happened baby?? What did your crazy boss do this time?" He asked while taking your hand in his and slowly stroking the back of your hand with his other hand but you didnt move.

"Nothing..just the usual..I have...work...just...I-!...I'm going to take a shower" you said. A slight frown appeared on Shawn's face. But he understood....some days you were like this when work really stressed you out.

'Maybe she doesn't wanna talk about it' he thought.

"Okay baby" he said and you stood up from the couch and before you walked 4 steps shawn caught your hand and pulled you into him.

He craddled your face in his warm huge palms that always made you melt like it wasn't even a big deal at all and kissed your lips sweetly.

You kissed him back but pulled away quicker that shawn would have liked which caused a small pout on his perfectly soft pink lips and all you wanted to do was kiss it away so that's what you did but quickly reminding yourself that he thinks your a clingy hoe and pulling away again.

"Let me kiss my girl properly first" he said smiling at you and you'd be lying if you said it doesn't do things to you even if your upset with him. How could he do this?!? One time he's saying he hates you and now he's all over you as if he really is?!?

"I'm tired shawn I wanna take a shower" you said while planting the same fake smile on your face. He frowned at you and them pulled you into a hug and you only dropped your hands low...not embracing the hug.

"Want me to join?' he asked playfully smirking at you and it literally made you feel all sorts of way but you knew it was all an act and he just.. thought you were a hoe.

"No I'm really tired shawn" you said now turning around and walking to the bathroom with tears forming real quick in your eyes.

"Okay... baby I'll start preparing dinner then" he said and you didn't fail to pick up the hurt in his voice. But why??? He doesn't care at all!! What a great ass actor?!? Your seriously doubting if you dreamed all that. But nah...its real..he hurt you.

You took a long ass shower washing yourself and feeling all your emotions get warmed up by the warm water and you just...started crying. You cried silenty under the shower where one couldn't distinguish tears from water. Maybe you were clingy. But that's only because you love him but why would he call you a HOE!?! Why?? Why would he disrespect you like that?? After 3 years of relationship, was your love for him making you look like a hoe??

After you got out of the shower, usually you would've just put on one of Shawn's hoodies and then go chill on the couch but today you just.. couldn't bring yourself to wear his clothes. So you put on one of your band t-shirts and some shorts and walked to the kitchen where Shawn had already prepared and put out dinner on the table and was waiting for your company.

He came to you with a toothless smile on his face which quickly dropped by half when he noticed you weren't wearing one of his clothes..but he didn't let it bother him that much or let's say... tried to act like it didn't bother him as much as it did. You still noticed it though..and it gave you a weird feeling.

He hugged you which again you didn't return.

"You smell so good!" He said pulling away from the hug and you gave him your half assed fake smile AGAIN.

Shawn was fully aware that something was wrong but he thought you'd tell him while having dinner.

He led you to the table and pulled the chair out for you like he always did and you both sat down to have dinner.

Awkwardness was all around the table.

You did not talk at all and even though shawn tried his best and asked you stuff to get you to talk about what's wrong or let's say..make it less awkward, all your replies were just..yes, no and silence.

After dinner you washed your plate and mumbled a goodnight that didn't feel like it was to ANYONE and went to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It went like this for a few days.. you being extra awkward to Shawn and purposely avoiding him and distancing yourself from him and being really down. He was really sad and hurt and frustrated because he would ask you whats the matter and you would either tell him "nothing" or just shrug your shoulders. You didn't even look him in the eyes anymore. Shawn was really really confused and even more worried.

Well how could you talk to him?!? After all he called you clingy and annoying which means he doesn't want you around and also he called you a hoe.

One day Shawn came back from the studio and saw you reading a book on the couch. A small smile creeped on his face knowing that you were reading some sort of romance novel.

"What are you doing?" He asked while coming and sitting next to you.

You were pretty lost in the book so you did not see him coming in.

"Oh just a stupid book haha... I have to get back to work now.." you said and got up to leave only to walk two steps and stop at the mention of your name.

"Y/n" you turned around to see Shawn now standing up from the couch with a very hurt look on his face.

"I don't know why but I noticed that you've been purposefully avoiding me for a few days..why are you doing that?? What did I do??please talk to me.." He asked now looking straight into your eyes and you could see right in his eyes that he was hurt.

"What? I don't know what your talking abou..-!" You were cut of by Shawn showing his palm infront of your face.

"Y/n stop...you know what you've been doing.....Is it me?? Did I do anything wrong?? Please talk to me.....you can always talk to me you know" he said now reaching for your hand but the moment his hand touched you you shook it away and backed off like he attacked you or something.

Shawn looked at you as if his heart just broke.

"No shawn..you should've thought about that before calling me a clingy, annoying hoe" you said for once and stormed in your bedroom slamming the door shut.

Shawn followed right behind you and got the door shut right on his face.

"What are you talking about-!? I- I-..! Dont understand! I never called you any of that!" Shawn said now leaning on the door.

"Stop fucking lying shawn I heard you talking with connor and Brian that day and you called me all those things!!" You barked from the other side of the door.

"Shit! Baby I can explain! Please open the door for me! I swear I didn't mean for you to hear it!" He said now banging on the door.

"Of course you didn't! And Explain what?!? That I'm being delusional and maybe even say some half assed lies?? How did I ever believe that you love me?!? Maybe I am clingy...But you called me a hoe!!"

"No baby please listen! I know it would've sounded so very wrong but just wasn't being serious! We were just joking around and I said that" he tried to explain and it did not even harm a hair of your anger.

"Haha what are you saying shawn?! That would never convince anyone! Try harder with your lies and leave me the fuck alone!" You said.

"Baby please believe me.. you are the most gorgeous and amazing women I've ever met and I could never ever say such things about you! I love you! Please believe me!" He said with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"I wish I could believe you shawn..but I actually heard this with my own ears.." you said.. now wiping your own tears.

"Please open the door for me I will explain it all please just...hear me out!" He said now bringing his hands to his face to catch the spilling tears.

You opened the door to him kneeling on the floor. You sat next to him resting your back on the wall.

After a few seconds he came and sat next to you..... Both of you staring at whatever that was ahead of you.

"Explain" you said.

Shawn wiped his tears and started talking.

"So...that day..you went to work and connor and brian came over and we were chatting on the couch and you know how connor loves you and me together like he ships us so hard haha so me and Brian were just pranking him and joking around so I just said I don't like you to prank connor....it sounds so fake...I know but that's the truth..I should've never said that..even if it was a joke I'm so sorry baby. You can even call Brian or Connor right now and ask them if you don't believe me " he said

By now you felt almost dizzy..you're so dumb!! 😬..you were making such a huge ass deal about this. OMG you're so stupid!! Wtf?? How could you be so stupid?? Like..all of this would've never happen if you just opened your mouth and talked to your boyfriend!!!!

"I..-! I'm sorry" you said, looking at Shawn who was already looking at you.

"I'm so so sorry baby I thought you didn't love me anymore I mean..I know I'm not that good looking and you could basically have any girl you wanted and I just-! I'm so sorry!! Ya know I always am terrified that one day I'll wake up and you don't love me anymore and I just-.... I should've just talked to you about this. Shit! I'm so stupid this is all my fault!!" You were full on crying right now and shawn just pulled you to his chest while you cried.

"Hey Don't say that!! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on and I can't even imagine living a life where you hate me and it's okay bubba I mean..if I was you this is exactly how I would've acted but from now on ..please talk to me if I did something that upsets you....I hate it when we cry" shawn said cracking a small smile.

"I'm sorry again" you said pouting your lips only for shawn to grab your face and kiss your frown away replacing it with a genuine smile, Something that has been lacking from your face for the past few days.

"It's alright now do you wanna make dinner or get Mc Donalds??"

You smiled at your sweet boy. He already knew the answer.

"Mc Donalds it is!"

[connordavidscamera]

The CONtent is coming back!!

[bubbashawn]

Honey

author: Here’s my first completed request!! Also this is day 7 or 8 of me posting in a row so I’m patting myself on the back. Hope y’all like it and yes it mentions the “pr” stunt w/ Camila so don’t attack me

synopsis: You overhear something you should’ve known all along. But why does Shawn care? He’s the one who threw 5 years away. Throw in a New Year’s Eve Party and everything is bound to go haywire.

warning: requested by anon. Forgive me I swore lol but really it falls in my brand so 2k of angst to fluff :)

“Baby, I love you.”

“Yeah well maybe you should’ve thought about that before Miami!”

“It’s all a PR stunt, Y/N. I don’t get it! Why is this such a big deal to you? That all means shit to me! You know that!”

“Because you didn’t tell me, Shawn,” your eyes started watering but you ignored them, “because I had to explain to my family why your tongue was down some other girls throat and I didn’t know how to because you didn’t tell me!”

Shawn knew a fake relationship would go haywire, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to love you right if he was pretending to love some other girl. Shawn knew what would happen and yet here he was. Standing, begging, in front of you to stay with him because he didn’t think he could ever lose you.

“Honey, you know I love you.”

“Saying I love you isn’t going to fucking fix anything!”

It was true. He loved you so much that he didn’t consider that you’d end things, not when you were so in love with each other. His stupid ego was causing havoc while you cried in his kitchen with your key resting on his counter.

You loved him too much. This hurt too much.

You had that key since he first bought his condo, he remembered the two of you moving him out of his family home. You also used to have a key for there. The two of you had met back in Pickering before Handwritten, before Vine even and your relationship had guided the two of you through your rising fame. You were the one constant in his life, his love for you the only thing keeping him grounded through it all.

“I’m done. I won’t be made a fool and the paparazzi probably will be here soon, so I’m just going to leave.”

“Y/N…”

“Bye Shawn, have a nice life.”

You felt arms shift around your waist and your eyes snapped open. It was just a dream. Except it wasn’t because it wasn’t Shawn’s arms wrapped around you or his cologne covered pillow your head rested on. It was your boyfriend’s.

Not Shawn’s.

Collin must have noticed you shift in his bed because his crystal eyes were staring down at you. He had the sharpest blue eyes you had ever seen, a stark contrast to the familiar hazel.

Collin Bradford had been perfect.

He was what any girl like you could dream of. He wasn’t famous which was foremost the best because you didn’t have to deal with a rivalry about who’s better. He understood your strange hours and never complained about the red carpets or photographers. He was happy to let you take the spotlight. ENews was obsessed with him, not that you blamed them, Collin was by far the most attractive man you had been with since Shawn.

Collin Bradford had been perfect, until he wasn’t.

Once he got comfortable in the relationship he started letting all the new attention get to his head. He became flirty and arrogant. He was the golden boy of Hollywood and he always claimed to love you, so you let him stay in your life. When the cheating scandal happened you let him back in. And the 2 after that. Funny how you let him make you seem like a fool when you’d broken Shawn’s heart for the same reason.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. What time is it?”

“Almost 6. Do you need to get up?”

“Mmm,” you hummed in agreement, “I’ve got that interview with Spanish Vogue in three hours.”

Carol, your stylist, would kill you if you weren’t sitting in front of her within the next hour. You rose to your feet ignoring the ache that Shawn always massaged out of your back.

“Want an espresso?”

“No, don’t bother,” you smiled back at him, “let at least one of you enjoy a morning in bed.”

“Want to get me one?”

“Sure thing.”

“You’re the best Baby,” his face was hidden in his phone before you could say another word. That was his way of saying he’s done with this conversation.

You walked out of the bedroom and hurried to make your boyfriend his drink before scurrying back to place it by his head. He didn’t acknowledge you.

“We have Hailey Bieber’s New Year’s Eve Party tonight. You still want to come?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there.”

You were out the door by 6:10, accustomed to the tight schedule. It was two and a half hours when you noticed a 6’2” frame with curly hair towering over you. You didn’t dare look up until you saw his swallow tattoo emitting an unwanted gasp from your throat. Carol looked at you weirdly but your eyes were trained on pointed Chelsea boots that were hesitantly shuffling towards your seated figure.

“Y/N,” he sounded the same, honey smooth like the rest of him, “Y/N?”

Your gaze lifted from the ground where he stood, up his body and past the undone buttons of his shirt until you stopped on the hazel eyes from your distant memories.

“Hey.”

“Wow, Hi,” he was staring, “it’s been what, 2 years?”

“Just about. 2 years at the end of next month.”

Shawn didn’t pay attention to the nervous quake in your voice and if he did he didn’t make any moves to soothe your mind. He just remained mere feet away and looking down at you.

You hated that you could see the love behind his irises. He had put you through so much even after you left. Shawn hadn’t broken up with Camila for another 8 months after yours. That’s why you didn’t run back to him.

“Wha-what’re you doing here?”

“Oh, um I have an interview about my new work.”

“I heard about that. Congratulations by the way.”

“Thanks.”

He was still staring and watched you shift off the chair to stand before him. Shawn wasn’t paying mind to how close you two actually were until the air between you was mixing. You took his breath away, literally.

“Are you still with that asshole, Charles?”

“Charles? You mean Collin?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then yes, yes I am.”

“Why? Didn’t he cheat on you?”

“Keeping tabs on me?”

He was growing frustrated with your stubbornness.

“Believe it or not, I still love you, Y/N. And I hate seeing you get hurt, especially by some guy who doesn’t deserve you!”

“And who deserves me? You? Shawn, the whole reason I was in this relationship to start was to get you out of my head,” your eyes were tearing up just like that night years ago, “because believe it or not, you hurt me first.”

Carol, bless her soul, gave an apologetic smile towards Shawn for interrupting your conversation and began walking you towards your interview.

“Honey, you okay?”

You nodded your head trying to piece your mind together before some poor interviewer talked to you.

“It was hard not to listen in,” she smiled softly, “but if you want my thoughts, I think he was telling the truth.”

You looked into her eyes searching for answers that you already knew.

“He loves you, Y/N, and I think you love him too.”

With one final look to make sure her observations got through to you, Carol opened the door and guided you towards your manager.

The interview went fine and before you know it, it was over. You spaced out one too many times, you were sure, but it was over and done with. A photo shoot followed so you would have a cover image on Spanish Vogue and before you knew it the sun was setting.

After a long day filled with too many people and the run-in with Shawn, the last thing on your mind was New Years. You had honestly forgotten about it until you got a slew of texts all talking about the plans for the evening. Everyone was going to show up around 10 and the night would progress from there.

You, however, wouldn’t leave the Vogue building until 11:20.

“Your dress is in the car so you’ll have to change in the back which is why I made sure the car would have a partition. And Collin can help you, okay?”

Collin would not be helping if you had a say in anything.

“Thank you, Carol, enjoy the holiday!”

“You too.”

You slipped into the Bentley waiting by the glass doors ignoring the flashes of cameras. And quickly pulled your dress from the door before turning to your boyfriend expectantly.

“Go up to the passenger seat.”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen you strip before,” he chuckled, eyeing the silky minidress in your hand, “is that even a full dress? Like I’m actually going to let you walk out of here in that.”

“Go to the fucking front and you haven’t had a worthy opinion about anything in the last 8 months because you cheated on me so get out.”

He glared at you but didn’t have any excuse. What could he say to you? Sorry? Collin hopped out ignoring the questions and the shouts about his scandals and sat in the front next to your driver. He glowered even more, if that’s possible, when the divider screen went up.

The party was in full blast by the time you had arrived. With only ten minutes until midnight everyone was bustling to reach their lover or any stranger with a decent pair of lips. Everyone was drunk, and if not absolutely hammered then tipsy. Not one person was standing without leaning on something for support.

“Collin, I’m ge-”

Your boyfriend who was minutes ago standing behind you was now leaning against the kitchen counter between some pretty girl’s thighs. His lips sipping from her solo cup before latching on her neck. Shocker.

Shawn was surely the only person aware of his surroundings and though no one else paid mind to you slipping into the party looking absolutely gorgeous except him. No one noticed the asshole behind you sneaking off to fuck some model. No one noticed your unsurprised yet hurt expression.

No one noticed except him.

He’d be lying to say he hadn’t been watching the front door since he arrived, looking for your familiar face. He was elated when you walked through the door because despite the fact that every time you two spoke it resulted in a fight, he still missed you. Had Shawn been a man with any common sense he would’ve shut down the whole pr relationship concept before it even became a possibility. But he hadn’t and then he lost the most important person in his life.

10

He made his way through the crowd offering friendly greetings to the drunk party goers before he was standing feet away from you again.

9

This time however your eyes didn’t shy away like they had earlier that day. No, they watched his gaze flicker across your entire being drinking you in.

8

“Hi,” your voice was breathless.

7

“Hey,” his hands found your waist.

6

“Are you drunk?”

5

“No,” he smiled before repeating your question back at you, already knowing the answer.

4

“Are you drunk?”

3

“No.”

2

“Good.”

1

Shawn’s lips were pressed against your own and he tasted the same as when he was 16. It was like his eyes, pure honey, just so undeniably sweet. You wondered how you didn’t wander back to him like an addict during your 2 years of deprivation.

“Happy New Years, Baby.”

His mouth latched to yours again not wanting to pull apart longer than he had to.

“We still,” you whimpered when your lips separated again as he looked down at you, “we still have to talk about this. About us.”

“As long as there is an us, I’ll talk to you forever. And you have to break things off with that asshole.”

“Mmhmm,” you hummed against his lips.

“You’re my honey. You’re my sweet, sweet honey.”

“You sure you aren’t drunk?”

“Not drunk,” he couldn’t help but smile against your lips, “just happy. Really fucking happy.”

permanent tag list: @wholesomemendes @fallinallincurls @ashwarren32 @mendesficsxbombay @haute-shawn @turtoix @prncsnee @http-isabela

[queenmendes]

cozy day

connor brashier x reader

Note: this is kinda all over the place and it’s been a while since I did anything for Connor but @connordavidscamera needed some Connor cuddles and love! Hope y’all enjoy xxx

The rumble of thunder forced your eyes open as you snuggled into the fluffy pillow. It was refreshing to be woken up naturally rather than by the annoying alarm meant for your lectures; thankfully today, you didn’t have to attend one. The room was lightly lit from the grey clouds outside and you could hear the light sprinkle of rain tapping against the window. It was the perfect day for you to stay wrapped in bed with cheesy movies playing, and that is exactly what you are going to do.

Before finding the will to get out of bed for food, you decided to scroll on instagram. The first thing you noticed was Connor’s icon on the list of new stories. Clicking on it brought up a picture of his empty, unmade bed. The sight made you pout as you wished you woke up next to him this morning. Quickly snapping a screenshot, you send it to him with a text.

iMessage to Hot Stuff: Oof, this bed looks extra cozy today

iMessage from Hot Stuff: would have been cozier with you in it this morning, love. Missed my cuddles

Instead of replying, you quickly got out of bed and slipped on a pair of sweats, one of Connor’s hoodies and a pair of shoes. You washed your face and brushed your teeth before grabbing your keys and wallet and made your way into the rain.  

_____

It took you less than an hour to get to Connor’s place, hands full of bags filled with goodies from your stop at the store. You knew Connor was still in lecture from the lack of his car so you grabbed the spare key and made your way into the apartment.

Connor walked through the door about ten minutes later as you were pulling out all the ingredients to make homemade pizzas, a tradition between the two of you since you started dating; every time you had a lazy day, you made pizzas and brownies and then snuggled together as random movies played.

“Hi babe.” Connor placed his bag on the table before making his way to you, placing a series of small kisses all over your face, letting him hear that contagious laugh of yours. His arms wrapped tightly around you as he stands behind you, humming lightly. “Cozy day?” He questioned as he saw the ingredients spread across the counter.

“Yes, the rain and photo of your bed made me want pizza and your cuddles.” You grinned, starting to roll the dough out. Connor smiled brightly at you before grabbing what he needed to make the brownies he knows you will want later. A comfortable silence fell over you as both of you finished prepping the food. You were lightly dancing as you placed the pizza into the oven.

“Now, go change.” You demanded lightly as the two of you made it into his bedroom. Smoothing the comforter out and fluffing the pillows before adding two more giant blankets to the mix.

“What are we watching baby?” Connor came out in just a pair of grey sweats, knowing exactly what he is doing by that little smirk on his face. His question went unanswered as your eyes fell over his bare chest to the sweats that sat lowly on his hips, giving you a great view of his perfectly tan v-line. “Baby?” Connor’s voice went huskier as he leaned over your from the spot of his bed.

“Why are you so attractive?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him down closer to you. “It’s going to be hard to focus on the movie when there is such a hot specimen next to me.” You tease, causing Connor’s adorable laugh to fill the room. His nose nuzzled into yours as you reached for his computer to search for a movie.

As your eyes wandered over the screen, Connor’s baby blues looked at you. HIs eyes tracing every detail on your face, ones that he knew by heart already. It never failed to amaze him how you make him feel from the simplest things such as homemade pizza and cuddles. Everyday he falls more in love with you; and everyday something new reminds him on why you will be the woman he marries.

“Are you even looking with me?” You asked, eyes never leaving the screen but you felt his on the side of your face. Connor smiled before scooting closer.

“How about the Avengers?” He asked, knowing you loved Marvel movies more than anything. You happily agreed and went to pull the movie up when the oven beeped, signalling that the pizza was done. Connor kissed your head and made his way into the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later with plates.

You froze as Connor obnoxiously moaned after every bite, knowing exactly what the sound does to you. You rolled your eyes at his laugh as you continued eating and watched as Tony Stark appeared on the screen.

___

The two of you were finishing the second movie when you shifted, pressing yourself as closer as possible to his side. Connor grabbed your leg, pulling it over his waist, gently rubbing up and down in a soothing pattern. His lips met your forehead when you placed your head on his chest. As you watched the screen, Connor was watching you again. Every small twitch of your lips or when you giggle lightly.

“Marry me.” Connor whispered so softly, he didn’t think you heard him; but you did. You froze, thinking you misheard.

“What?” You whispered, looking up at him. Connor saw the emotions in your eyes; anxiety was there but love, adoration, and hope massed it.

“Marry me.” Connor said more confidently. You paused the movie and sat up, turning to face him. “I want to come home to you everyday and have movie marathons or make pizza and brownies and snuggle under a mountain of blanket whenever I want. I want to be able to watch you dancing around the kitchen or put up with rewatching shows a million times because you are obsessed with them and never want to stop watching them.” Connor began his rant, making tears form in your eyes.

“Every day, every time I see or even think about you, all I want to do is put a ring on your finger and be able to know that you will be my wife. That you will be by my side for the rest of our lives. Because you are the most beautiful, thoughtful, goofy, supportive person I know and I know there is no one else meant for me but you.” Connor leaned over, pulling a small box out from his side table. “I know it's sudden and we are still young and in college, but I love you, Y/N and I want you to be my wife.” Connor finished, opening the box to reveal a stunning ring. It was a silver banded ring with a diamond placed in the middle , wrapped by small diamonds giving it the effect of vines. It was exactly a ring you would wear, nothing overly dramatic and different than other rings. Connor watched anxiously as you silently stared at the ring.

“Yes.” You beamed over at him. “Yes, yes, yes, yes.” You repeated. Connor sighed in relief as he placed the ring on the proper finger. You squealed and jumped into his lap, your lips smashing against his in a passionate, searing kiss. His hands caressed your waist gently as the kiss continued but soon enough, he couldn’t contain his smile.

“I love you.” He whispers, staring at you with such love and awe. You almost felt yourself tear up again at his gaze.

“I love you.” You kiss him gently once more, “Now, go get me a brownie please.”

[shawnpetermuffins]

can you write an imagine about connor using “i’m calling you at 2 am because i need you” ? .. whenever you have time haha thank you!!

This is really short but I hope you like it anyway!! Thank you for the request!

***

There’s one thing in life that I really hate. And that’s when people call me in the middle of the night for literally no reason. I don’t answer them usually. Usually. But when I see his name light up my screen, I can’t not answer him. He knows I don’t answer. He wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. 

“Con. Are you okay?”

“Hey… wait what time is there?” I assume he checks his phone. “Fuck, baby. I’m sorry. It’s two a.m. Go back to sleep. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no. Stay. What’s wrong, bub?”

“No, I shouldn't have called. I meant to check the time difference. I didn’t think. I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“Connor David. Stop apologizing. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

He sighs but is silent for a moment, the only thing audible is the soft hum of the bus he’s on and the softs strum of Shawn’s guitar. “It’s nothing, I just… fuck. I know it’s two in the morning and you’re dead tired and that I just woke you up. And really this could have waited until morning for you, it really could have but -”“Bubba, please.” I whisper. “Are you okay?”

“I need you,” he says in the smallest voice he could manage. 

“I’m here.”

He lets out a shuddery breath. “I miss you, baby.” I don’t have to see him to know he’s running his fingers through his long hair. It’s grown so much since being on tour - partially because he doesn’t give himself enough of a break to go get it cut, but also because he knows I like it. It was the first thing I mentioned when he came home for a couple weeks. The last thing I touched before he left again for this leg. 

“I miss you too, blue eyes.”

We don’t say anything again for a little while, but it doesn’t bother either of us. I know he just needs me on the phone with him and if that’s what he wants, then that’s what I’ll give him.

“You want to tell me about your day yesterday?”

“I don’t want to keep you longer. I know you’re sleepy.”

“Tell me anyway. If I stop responding you’ll know it’s because I fell asleep. Come on. I want to hear all about my baby’s day. You woke up, no doubt made coffee. Then what?”

He chuckles and it makes my heart happy that even though he’s on the other side of the world and isn’t feeling his best, I can still make him smile. “Well I actually didn’t make coffee. We went out for breakfast, so I just had some there. It was a nice place. We sat outside and it was super early, we got there just after the sun had come up.”

“That sounds nice. We should do that one day when you get back. Go on a breakfast date.”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I’d like that. We can go surfing too.”

“You mean you can go surfing and I can watch.”

“No, I mean we. You’ve got to let me teach you at some point, my love.”

I smile at my given nickname. “Okay, Brash. One day.”

[crazylittlethingcalledben18]

MEMORIES

DESCRIPTION:: You are a Brian’s sister and a single mom. You, Shawn, and Brian grew up together in Canada. You and Shawn used to be best friends, until he got famous and left. After reconnecting, you both come to realize you want more than just a friendship.

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x y/n

Warnings: Language, Possible Smut, & Drinking.

A/N:: hello friends!!! this story is going to have multiple chapters so i will try my best to connect them all! i hope you like it :)

"MOMMAAA!" You hear a tiny voice squeal from the other room. Running towards the little monster in your jeans and bra, you see Peter, your 3 year old son, standing in the middle of the living room on the verge of a meltdown.

"What's wrong, cheri?" You bend down to his level and try to console him before he has a full blown breakdown.

"Mickey went bye bye!!" he exclaims, eyes brimming with tears. You look towards the television and see that the his Mickey Mouse movie was over.

"Alright mon amour, let's see where Mickey went," You say as you pick him up and he clings to your neck until you set him down on the couch to look for the remote. You search under the coffee table, under the couch cushions, and even in the kitchen with no luck. "Merde! Where is it?"

In the middle of my frustration, you hear a knock on the front door. Oh thank god - you know exactly who that is. You run to the door and yank it open, probably looking crazy as you stand in the doorway half naked.

"Hey Bri!" You smile at your big brother before you realize he isn't alone, "And you friend??"

"Hey y/n! This is my roommate, Connor. Sorry I didn't warn you, he needed a ride and you don't normally answer the door  shirtless," Brian laughs as he scans you up and down.

"Oh umm, it's nice to meet you, Connor. Come on in," You turn around heading back to finish my mission of finding the remote, "Sorry, we are running a few minutes late. I was in the middle of getting ready when Peter needed me. Now I'm trying to find the remote so I can Mickey back on the tv for him so he doesn't have a meltdown--" 

"Uncle B!!" Peter exclaims as he runs into Brian's open arms. Brian engulfs him into a big bear hug before he looks my way, "Go finish getting ready, y/n. I'll take care of this little monster."

Before you know it Brian has become the tickle monster chasing Peter around and Connor is making himself comfortable on the couch. You smile to yourself and head back into the bathroom to finish the glam process.

You don't want to be super dressed up but you also don't want to look like a total mom. You are going to Brian's friend, Shawn's, house for his annual New Years Eve party. You say 'Brian's friend' like you don't know him, but in reality, you know him better than you want to admit. You haven't seen him in years - correction - you’ve seen a lot of him over the years since he is world famous and all, but you haven't seen him in the flesh since you left home a few years ago. You don't want to be showy at the party, but you also want to show that you’re not just the girl that got pregnant at eighteen.

You throw on your silky cheetah tank and black cardigan to match your black ripped jeans. Before heading back to the chaos, you grab Peter's diaper bag and throw your wallet inside. "Are you guys ready?" You say as you go back into the living room.

"Faster, B, faster!!" Peter yells while Bri gives him a piggyback ride around the apartment. You can't help smiling as you see how happy they are together. 

Brian spots you and puts Peter down. He makes his way towards you and gives you one of his signature bear hugs, "Well, it's nice to see you fully clothed. You ready to head out?"

"Tête de bite!" You playfully push him away. He puts his hand to his heart with a pained look as if you actually hurt him. Connor looks between you and Brian confused while neither of you offer an explanation as you gather yourselves.

"Time to go mon cheri." You grab Peter's hand and head towards the front door.

<< >>

"No!! Let me go!!" says a girl as she attempts to run away from the monster. You feel Shawn laughing behind you as you guys watch the cheesy horror movie play. You two are laying on the couch, Shawn behind you with his head tucked in the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around you.

"Does she thinks she is actually going to be able to outrun him in those heels!?" Shawn says loudly and you can't contain your laughter. 

"She looks like a penguin when she runs like that," You joke back.

"She looks just like you when you tried to ice skate yesterday!" Shawn teases while he moves his arm to tickle your side - that jerk always uses your ticklishness against you. You try to get away from him which ends up with you falling on the floor and Shawn laughing even harder.

Taking the opportunity to mess with him back, you wrap your arms around your knees and tuck your head down so he can't see your face. You sit there quietly pretending to be upset, until he quiets down and you feel him slide down onto the floor next to you.

"Aww, you know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry," he puts his arms around you and brings you into his chest. You can tell by the worried tone of his voice that he is believing it. "y/n, please, I was just messing with you. Don't be upset, bear."

Once his special nickname comes out, you can't contain yourself any longer. You lift up your head with a big smile on your face. His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion as he realizes you’re not actually upset. "Wait, you aren't mad at me?"

"Of course not, I was just messing with you." You tell him with a cheeky smile.

"Oh thank god, cause I thought was gonna have to go buy some chocolates to make up for it." He says with a sigh and you just laugh to yourself. "Well in that case, let's finish this movie."

He stands up before extending his hand out to you to help you off the floor.

Someone looking from the outside would say you two looked like you were together, but that's the farthest from the truth. Does that mean you weren’t allowed to secretly have feelings for him?? No. Does that mean you had to hide said feelings so you didn't ruin the friendship? Hell yes.

You and Shawn were best friends. You knew each other since you were babies, you literally have pictures of you two in the bath together - thanks mom. You spent every afternoon and every weekend at each others houses. You were in the same grade so you went to school together all through elementary, middle school, and almost all of high school. You would've graduated together too, that was until he left to become a world famous singer. 

You felt betrayed when he left your small hometown. You two had promised that you would always have each other’s backs and grow old together. Not in the way some might think, you wanted your families to live next door to the other and your kids to grow up to be best friends, just like you were. Then he started posting on YouTube and next thing you knew, he was moving to the United States to sing. You tried to keep in contact at first, but then the rumors started going around and his calls started to become less and less. 

You’ve gotten used to it - seeing him everywhere but not knowing him anymore. Although, you can never rid yourself of the feeling of missing Shawn, your best friend.

<<>>

You didn’t think you were nervous until now. You are sitting in the back seat of Brian’s car with Peter next to you and Connor in the pssenger seat as he drives you all to Shawn’s.

Your heart starts pounding, your palms start sweating, and for some reason, you can’t stop bouncing your leg. You haven’t seen Shawn in almost 5 years. He left in the middle of high school and you haven’t seen eachother in person since. That probably sounds crazy but anytime he came in town, you did your best to avoid his existence and eventually, he stopped coming as much. Now, you two live in the same city and you are still avoiding his existence.

Some may ask.. Why? When you spend your whole life thinking you found your person and they just leave, you can either decide deal with it and move on or let it hurt and anger you. Let’s just say you chose the later.

So as Brian parks in the driveway, you push down your fear and anxiety and get out of the car. You get Peter out as well and make your way to the front door.

Without knocking, Brian opens the front door to enter and you are immediately hit with the smell of alcohol, fried food, and.. fruit punch?? Why the hell did you think it was gonna be a good idea to bring your three year old to this.

Your little group makes way through the crowd towards the kitchen. You don’t want to lose peter within the dancing feet, so you pick him up and sit him on your hip.

Brian and Connor find their destination and you find a familiar head of brown curly hair.

“Bri, Con!! Finally you are here!” Shawn exclaims as he turns around. They give eachother a ‘bro’ hug and say hi to some other people hanging around. Shawn turns your way and freezes when you make eye contact.

“Bear? I uhh— I mean y/n.. Hi.” Shawn stands there awkwardly.

You hate it but he takes your breath away every damn time. He is wearing a bottoned down white shirt with the top few buttons open and black jeans. You can’t help but admire his flushed cheeks and fluffy hair.

“Hey Shawn.” You give him a small wave and Peter does too. His eyes immediately go to the child on your hip and back to you.

“It’s been a while.” He simply says.

It’s been a while?? That’s it??

“Yeah, it’s been a few years. This is my son, Peter.” You decide to get the awkward introductions out of the way now.

“Son??” He asks, looking shocked.

“Shawn!! We need you outside!!” Someone calls from the other side of the room. He doesn’t even aknowledge the caller, still looking between you and Peter.

“You better go, sounds like they need you.” You tell him and step closer to Brian so he can pass. He reluctantly breaks eye contact with you and heads into the crowd.

You watch as the head of curls gets lost in a sea of people and your heart breaks all over again.