#is fascinating to think about in dependent plant context

[absinthe-of-midnight]

I know the default explanation is "sci-fi hive mind" for the dependent plants but I think there's also realistic eusocial organisms thing going on, like stigmergy, a mechanism of indirect coordination, through the environment, between agents or actions.

The principle is that the trace left in the environment by an individual action stimulates the performance of a succeeding action by the same or different agent.

Agents that respond to traces in the environment receive positive fitness benefits, reinforcing the likelihood of these behaviors becoming fixed within a population over time. Stigmergy is a form of self-organization. It produces complex, seemingly intelligent structures, without need for any planning, control, or even direct communication between the agents.

Losing individuals in a stigmergy would be akin to a injury, it's like an interesting fusion of "sci-fi hive mind" and "realistic eusocial organisms".

[4-tempered-offshoots]

tell us a lil abt some of the plants you got

{4TO} Now that I'm not in the middle of.. well yeah plants!

{4TO} Where to even begin?? Ok so first off some context, my can has a number of outhanging greenhouse structures set to all sorts of different climates and environments, as well as a few larger internal ones. They used to be all for my research on Karma flowers, however one of the first things I did on e the ancients left was to rip nearly all of them out. I left one though for sentimentality sake, and for a long time forgot about it. One of the most annoying things I learned when I researched Karma flowers is that they have some set of latent genes in them I was never able to fully parse out, so that when they were in suboptimal conditions, they would revert from their traditional form of tall, graceful stalks to a woody, leafy underbrush dotted with flowers. In this state it spreads quite fast, looking for a space where the conditions are right to revert back to its prioritization on flowers. No matter what I did I could never get the conditions of my can just right to get those perfect stalks, and would often get some in between state of the two. So when I came back I wasn't surprised to see not rows of lacy yellow flowers, but a tangled mess of underbrush spreading across the room. Looking back, I like it better like that, if only because it pissed off my admin so much, I do wish it wasn't so aggressive though

{4TO} Besides that I have houses full of plants from basically every inch of the environments around me that me and now my Gatherers have been able to reach. I'm quite partial to the flashbang plants and that whole genus, they were some of the first that I found, right underneath my can! There's the common blue everyone knows, as well as some slight variations, however there are also some more distant variations that are less known of. Specifically, underneath my can I've found a species that has developed into a tree-like structure, which I call Lantern trees. Now you might be thinking: why would it do that, doesn't it need to conserve energy since it's so dark under there? You would be right, and in general they grow much larger in my greenhouses than in the wild. But here's what I've observed. For the common flashbang plant, it's fruit are designed to be easily separated from the plant once ripe, like say if a spider tries to eat the plant, at which point the spider would be dead via the fruit hitting the ground, splitting open, and killing it, and it's colony would learn to avoid the plants. However, the lantern trees have taken a different approach. The general strategy of the lantern tree is to cast enough light to deter spiders from getting near in the first place. Because of this they have a number of adaptations different to your more common flashbang plant. Their fruits have a much tougher skin, and the internal chemical composition is slightly different as well, casting more ambient light but no longer reacting so violently when burst. These fruits tend to be smaller than a regular flashbang plant, and grow in clusters. One fascinating aspect of the tree is that it has evolved in tandem with the lantern mice of the area. The lantern mice nest in the tree, and their combined light benefits both species in protecting against spiders. The tree uses the mice as pollinators, and when the fruit eventually expire they dry out on the branch, leaving behind food for the mice. The mice themselves have adapted to host large colonies inside these trees, and they tend to glow brighter than your average lantern mouse, as well as center around a very similar yellow to the lantern tree in light color, as opposed to the usual variation you find from mouse to mouse. The two species have come to depend on eachother, and in order to grow them effectively you need to start a new colony as well. They tend to grow in small groves on the surface, where they can benefit eachother through the light they emitt, which over time I wouldn't be surprised to see spread over most of the surface down there. They're really something, it's like it's own little glowing world when your inside one of those groves.

{4TO} I've seen scavengers use the fruits as light sources, though they tend to prefer lanterns, they're as bright as a whole cluster, and much easier to carry. However one benefit f the fruits is they last a lot longer, and so I've seen dedicated hunting parties that spend most of their time away from the tribe string the fruits around themselves for light instead of using lanterns, which they would have to replace much more often

{4TO} I could go on listing more of the specimens I've found but yeah! If you want to know anything more specific about any of them, what I've found in different environments, or how I take care of them at my can, just ask!

[fnafpro52]

OC QUESTIONNAIRE THING

Unlike the last questionnaire, I'm gonna be doing this with another OC of mine, Audrey Cryla, over Deraj.

What is your favorite thing to do to avoid responsibility?

"Mm... avoiding responsibility isn't really something I allow myself to do... I guess, on the rare occasion, it would be... acting oblivious?"

If you could choose anyone in the world to be your sibling who would it be?

"I definitely view several of my friends and allies in a similar light to a sibling. But out of all of them... probably Mortifer. She's... the most like me, I guess."

What is the most sublime thing you have ever eaten and why?

"Deraj once dared me to eat something he called a 'jalepeno.' I didn't realize why until I actually took a bite. I have never tasted anything more spicy in my entire life. Kaeden said it was probably because I come from a 'fantasy' world or something, to which Deraj confirmed."

What was the worst day of your life?

"...The day I lost my family. Moving on."

What is your worst nightmare?

"Worst nightmare? Hm... losing my newly found friends and allies. I lost my family, and I'm not losing another one."

If a monster asked you your worst nightmare what would you tell it and why?

"I would not answer. Why would I willingly give something that most likely wants my head hold over me?"

Would you give away secret information if tortured? Be honest.

"...Perhaps eventually? I've never been tortured, but I can imagine what it would be like. It may take a lot, but I imagine I would eventually crack."

Who could you trust most with a secret?

"Statistically, probably Erelm. Even if he wasn't mute, he's not overly sociable in the first place. Not to mention, he kept his real name a secret from us for years until finally telling us."

You have been caught somewhere you shouldn’t be! Quick, what is your excuse?

"Uh... I can't think of anything... it would depend on where I've been caught and the circumstances. Provided context, I could probably think of something."

How good is your sleep schedule?

"I try my best to keep a healthy one. Granted, the universe doesn't always grant me such peace, but I try regardless."

Do you have any siblings? If so, is your relationship good?

"...I had one... My brother, Eryx. We, uh, had a fine enough relationship. Didn't really interact with each other as we grew older, but... yeah..."

What’s the toughest time you had to endure growing up?

"Working on a farm with my mother and grandmother. Granted, I couldn't really do much as a young girl, but I tried where I could!"

What’s your relationship with your family like?

"...No comment."

Do you have any hobbies? If so, what ones?

"Reading, studying, stuff like that. Deraj actually has a really fascinating shelf full of books of various subjects in his office, which is something I never really expected of him."

Do you dream often? What do you dream about?

"Hm. My dreams tend to range between dreadful nightmares to ominous messages from the future to tranquil peace. I much prefer the latter to the two former ones."

Have you ever been in love?

"Not... that I can remember?"

What is your least favorite thing in the world?

"Unnecessary violence, especially if it leads to murder."

What is your pet peeve?

"I once had a pet peeve about Deraj lacking a proper hobby outside of combat-related training, but I don't think that I would be annoyed by such a thing again."

Would you consider yourself different?

"A... rather broad question... I... guess so? I mean, the majority of my friends and allies are humans, while I am a half-elf. Although I guess our group also includes a hybrid between a robot and a sentient plant, so maybe not."

How far would you go to save a loved one?

"As far as I possibly can, no matter the risk."

Would you team up with your worst enemy if it was your only option?

"I would if the scenario was that despairingly dangerous. Although I would keep my guard up."

What is the worst insult you can give?

"Uh, heh, insults aren't, um, really my strong suit. I've never felt the need to verbally injure someone. That's more up to Deraj's speed."

What is the nicest thing someone could say to you?

"...I don't know. I'd be perfectly happy with baseline compliments."

Are you a jealous person?

"No, I wouldn't consider myself to be one."

Have you ever committed a crime?

"No... I think... I'm fairly confident... I'm somewhat sure..."

Are you neat or messy?

"Um, I was going to say 'more neat than messy,' but I remember my desk's condition back at my old childhood home... yeah, generally more messy."

How do you feel about crying? Let it out or hold it in?

"I'm completely with letting my tears fall. In my personal opinion, crying makes you stronger as a person."

Who do you live for? Why?

"My friends and allies, as I have already mentioned. Deraj has told me before about my 'unwavering loyalty,' something he commended me for. That may be why."

Who has betrayed you most?

"As much as I hate to admit it, probably Deraj. He's lied to me, and everyone around him, for that matter, more about himself and his past more than once. I know, I know, it's not standard betrayal, but it's the closest thing I can think of!"

What style of accessories do you wear? Is it willingly?

"Accessories? Well, most prominently, I wear a silver necklace with a blue charm around my neck. It's a family heirloom, the last thing my grandmother gave me before she passed on. But other than that? Nothing, really."

[jcmarchi]

From neurons to learning and memory

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/from-neurons-to-learning-and-memory/

From neurons to learning and memory

Mark Harnett, an associate professor at MIT, still remembers the first time he saw electrical activity spiking from a living neuron.

He was a senior at Reed College and had spent weeks building a patch clamp rig — an experimental setup with an electrode that can be used to gently probe a neuron and measure its electrical activity.

“The first time I stuck one of these electrodes onto one of these cells and could see the electrical activity happening in real time on the oscilloscope, I thought, ‘Oh my God, this is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!’” Harnett says.

Harnett, who recently earned tenure in MIT’s Department of Brain and Cognitive Sciences, now studies the electrical properties of neurons and how these properties enable neural circuits to perform the computations that give rise to brain functions such as learning, memory, and sensory perception.

“My lab’s ultimate goal is to understand how the cortex works,” Harnett says. “What are the computations? How do the cells and the circuits and the synapses support those computations? What are the molecular and structural substrates of learning and memory? How do those things interact with circuit dynamics to produce flexible, context-dependent computation?”

“We go after that by looking at molecules, like synaptic receptors and ion channels, all the way up to animal behavior, and building theoretical models of neural circuits,” he adds.

Influence on the mind

Harnett’s interest in science was sparked in middle school, when he had a teacher who made the subject come to life. “It was middle school science, which was a lot of just mixing random things together. It wasn’t anything particularly advanced, but it was really fun,” he says. “Our teacher was just super encouraging and inspirational, and she really sparked what became my lifelong interest in science.”

When Harnett was 11, his father got a new job at a technology company in Minneapolis and the family moved from New Jersey to Minnesota, which proved to be a difficult adjustment. When choosing a college, Harnett decided to go far away, and ended up choosing Reed College, a school in Portland, Oregon, that encourages a great deal of independence in both academics and personal development.

“Reed was really free,” he recalls. “It let you grow into who you wanted to be, and try things, both for what you wanted to do academically or artistically, but also the kind of person you wanted to be.”

While in college, Harnett enjoyed both biology and English, especially Shakespeare. His English professors encouraged him to go into science, believing that the field needed scientists who could write and think creatively. He was interested in neuroscience, but Reed didn’t have a neuroscience department, so he took the closest subject he could find — a course in neuropharmacology.

“That class totally blew my mind. It was just fascinating to think about all these pharmacological agents, be they from plants or synthetic or whatever, influencing how your mind worked,” Harnett says. “That class really changed my whole way of thinking about what I wanted to do, and that’s when I decided I wanted to become a neuroscientist.”

For his senior research thesis, Harnett joined an electrophysiology lab at Oregon Health Sciences University (OHSU), working with Professor Larry Trussell, who studies synaptic transmission in the auditory system. That lab was where he first built and used a patch clamp rig to measure neuron activity.

After graduating from college, he spent a year as a research technician in a lab at the University of Minnesota, then returned to OHSU to work in a different research lab studying ion channels and synaptic physiology. Eventually he decided to go to graduate school, ending up at the University of Texas at Austin, where his future wife was studying public policy.

For his PhD research, he studied the neurons that release the neuromodulator dopamine and how they are affected by drugs of abuse and addiction. However, once he finished his degree, he decided to return to studying the biophysics of computation, which he pursued during a postdoc at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute Janelia Research Campus with Jeff Magee.

A broad approach

When he started his lab at MIT’s McGovern Institute in 2015, Harnett set out to expand his focus. While the physiology of ion channels and synapses forms the basis of much of his lab’s work, they connect these processes to neuronal computation, cortical circuit operation, and higher-level cognitive functions.

Electrical impulses that flow between neurons, allowing them to communicate with each other, are produced by ion channels that control the flow of ions such as potassium and sodium. In a 2021 study, Harnett and his students discovered that human neurons have a much smaller number of these channels than expected, compared to the neurons of other mammals.

This reduction in density may have evolved to help the brain operate more efficiently, allowing it to divert resources to other energy-intensive processes that are required to perform complex cognitive tasks. Harnett’s lab has also found that in human neurons, electrical signals weaken as they flow along dendrites, meaning that small sections of dendrites can form units that perform individual computations within a neuron.

Harnett’s lab also recently discovered, to their surprise, that the adult brain contains millions of “silent synapses” — immature connections that remain inactive until they’re recruited to help form new memories. The existence of these synapses offers a clue to how the adult brain is able to continually form new memories and learn new things without having to modify mature synapses.

Many of these projects fall into areas that Harnett didn’t necessarily envision himself working on when he began his faculty career, but they naturally grew out of the broad approach he wanted to take to studying the cortex. To that end, he sought to bring people to the lab who wanted to work at different levels — from molecular physiology up to behavior and computational modeling.

As a postdoc studying electrophysiology, Harnett spent most of his time working alone with his patch clamp device and two-photon microscope. While that type of work still goes on his lab, the overall atmosphere is much more collaborative and convivial, and as a mentor, he likes to give his students broad leeway to come up with their own projects that fit in with the lab’s overall mission.

“I have this incredible, dynamic group that has been really great to work with. We take a broad approach to studying the cortex, and I think that’s what makes it fun,” he says. “Working with the folks that I’ve been able to recruit — grad students, techs, undergrads, and postdocs — is probably the thing that really matters the most to me.”

[publicabsent]

flower   <3

MUSE QUESTIONS. / accepting.

flower: what would be their favorite flower, & why? because of what it means in the language of flowers, or because they just like how it looks / smells?

i think there are several flowers that could be her favorites, sort of depending on context/the most common way to get the flowers. so i'll list one for each:

wildflower: while i compare her to dandelions, i think her favorite wildflower is queen anne's lace. (daucus carota, or "wild carrot"). it's a compound flower, & she remembers seeing lots of it in her grandparents' backyard, growing as tall as her. it symbolizes safety, refuge, & sanctuary, which suits it reminding her of one of the few positive things about her childhood.

garden flowers: though this isn't always a flower planted, she loves wisteria. (wisteria frutescens, american wisteria.) while they are technically parasites, they add softness & color to otherwise monochromatic scenes. they symbolize welcoming.

not-technically-a-flower-but: mistletoe. (viscum album, european mistletoe). it once symbolized a place where no violence could take place in druidic cultures, & with all the books she's read with some sort of fantasy, she finds it fascinating. multiple cultures used it to symbolize peace & harmony, though now it's considered romantic. another parasitic plant.

[aleapple1216]

Levi and Hange flower meaning

So, at this point I think it is not new news that we will have a 2022 SNK calendar. And this is one of the illustrations, corresponding to September (Hange’s birthday month):

Now, let’s analyze the flowers that both of them have, ‘cause I’m a freak and I love overanalyzing. 

Disclaimer: I analyze based on the knowledge of flowers and their meaning that I have collected over the years on some books, but I’m not a biologist, a botanist or a florist, so, if I make a mistake identifying the flowers, feel free to correct me. Also, I’m a crazy LeviHan shipper, but that will not interfere with the meanings that I say of the flowers. I will be as neutral as possible. 

This analysis may have some spoilers about the fate of this two characters.

Hange’s Flowers: 

In their hands, Hange brings a bouquet of fully blooming roses. Bouquets of full bloom roses (in other words, without a single rosebud on it) means gratitude. Also, there are 4 roses, which have two meanings depending on the context: one is an everlasting promise, and the other is “everything is over between us”.

Now, the color of the roses. Orange roses are hybrids between yellow and red roses. There are people who say that therefore, the meaning of orange roses is the mixture of the meanings of red and yellow roses: love, passion and respect combined with happiness and friendship respectively. Other florists suggest to give to your significant one orange roses to represent the transition from friendship to romantic love, like a declaration. But this meaning is not usually very common.

By itself, orange roses are a “mood booster”. They represents life, energy, fascination, passion, and excitement. In a more “grounded” meaning, orange and coral rose bouquets symbolize the joy that a relationship brings to you. And that means ANY KIND of relationship: love, friendship or even family. This flowers offer a message of sincere gratitude and happiness.

The other flower on Hange's bouquet is the Calla Lily. This is a bit more difficult, as the meanings of this flower are a lot and they are somewhat contradictory. On one hand, ancient cultures considered it a symbol of fertility, sexuality and life, and on the other hand, this flower is usually a symbol of death.

These flowers often decorate bridal bouquets as a blessing for the marriage. They represent the beauty and chastity of the bride, as well as fertility. Even calla lily share a lot of associations with the Virgin Mary. Buuuuut, this is only when the calla lily is white. The meaning changes completely due to the color of the lily.

Pink calla lilies that Hange holds represents appreciation, admiration and true devotion.

A calla lily also has many associations with death regardless of its color. If there is a calla lily drawn on a grave, it means that that person died young or “before their time”. Likewise, in the Christian religion these flowers are usually taken to funerals as a symbol of rebirth and resurrection.

(If you know the end of the manga this is just so fucking sad)

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Levi’s flowers

Levi is carrying a mixed bouquet (with flowers and buttons) of purple roses. There are 5 roses; and giving to someone 5 roses means “I care about you”.

Purple roses are really uncommon, they are also known as the "mystical rose”, for what they represent: “to be unique”. The lighter colors of purple represent enchantment and love at first sight, but a more vivid purple rose means that you look up to someone and really value their opinions. Some florists even recommend giving purple roses when you want to ask for someone's forgiveness.

The other flowers on Levi’s bouquet are quite hard to identify. In my opinion, they can be any of these: small cup daffodils (narcissus), stephanotis, or jasmine flowers. So, I’ll put the meanings of them.

Narcissus: Regard, formality, affection returned and sympathy. There are also two phrases associated with this plant: Stay as Sweet as You Are, and The Sun is Always Shining When I'm with You.

Stephanotis: This kind of flowers used to represent happiness in marriage; now is a symbol of good fortune. They also mean a desire to travel.

Jasmine: High respect, affection, good fortune and modesty. Due to their white color, another meaning is purity, faith and innocence.

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And well, that’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading.

[therealsaintscully]

Mary and butterflies - the inevitability of death, murderous calling cards and collectors

Some ramblings with links to other people’s excellent meta, in which I suggest that butterflies (and/or moths) symbolize Mary as Moriarty’s reincarnation and or calling card, while also hint at her inevitable death.

Disclaimers: credits are below the cut. I’m not an expert in any of these topics. Thank you, @thewatsonbeekeepers​​ for the beta. In this post I’ll be using moths and butterflies interchangeably, apologies to any entomologists.

Mary’s appearance in the show brings with it new imagery we haven’t seen prior to The Empty Hearse - butterflies. Once Mary’s in the picture, there are butterflies in some very strategic locations, all are either visually or subtextually leading to her. The show has done that previous to season 3; Moriarty is connected to some well established symbols like magpies, apples and IOUs. 

When I first started reading meta I used to think these themes were a bit of a stretch, but I’ve since accepted  that this is a show that puts barely noticeable phoenixes in a restaurant scene that shows us Sherlock rising from his death.

Here are some of the butterflies I spotted so far:

Butterflies (and in the case of this piece of meta, moth) symbolize most commonly resurrection, change and renewal. Behind the symbolism stands the transformation of a small, ungainly creature into something full-grown and unbound. In that case, in the simplest way, one could argue that butterflies were chosen to symbolize her because the ‘Mary Morstan’ persona was a stillborn’s identity that was stolen and used ‘reborn’ to create a new person.

But more than this simplistic idea; butterflies carry multiple symbolisms. When it comes to Sherlock, I and many others tend to look at Victorian symbolism, considering the detective’s Victorian roots. 

I find the appearance of butterflies interesting in Mary’s context, much like I find the skull interesting in Sherlock’s. The skulls, in Sherlock’s case, serve plenty of purposes, but one of them is the idea of memento mori.

Memento mori (Latin for 'remember that you [have to] die') is an artistic or symbolic reminder of the inevitability of death. These are representations that can appear in any form of art such as paintings, literature, poetry etc. It’s a concept that existed in many ancient cultures but is also deeply rooted in early Christianity. It serves to remind people of the inevitable; that even if we choose to ignore it, not think about it, it’s always there lurking, and the purpose is not to scare us but to encourage us to make good use of our time when we’re alive. Memento mori was the philosophy of reflecting on your own death as a form of spiritual improvement, and rejecting earthly vanities.

Victorians were obsessed with the concept (weren’t Victorians obsessed with everything?). They would take photographs of the dead and keep locks of hair of those who died in mourning brooches. It is said that they found these practices comforting. 

Another expression of the ‘remember that you must die’ concept was vanitas art;  vanitas is a symbolic work of art showing the transience of life, the futility of pleasure, and the certainty of death. The Latin noun vanitas (from the Latin adjective vanus 'empty') means 'emptiness', 'futility', or 'worthlessness', the traditional Christian view being that earthly goods and pursuits are transient and worthless. It alludes to Ecclesiastes 1:2; 12:8, where vanitas translates the Hebrew word hevel (הבל), which also includes the concept of transitoriness. 

This concept reminds me, most especially, of the skull used in The Abominable Bride, which is actually Charles Allen Gilbert's 'All is Vanity' Illusion art.

Back to butterflies - butterflies are a staple component of vanitas art - paintings executed in the vanitas style were meant to remind viewers of the transience of life, the futility of pleasure, and the certainty of death. They also provided a moral justification for painting attractive objects - in a way, it’s a justification for the vanity, or the human need of enjoyment of beautiful things.  Below is a vanitas by Jan Sanders van Hemessen:

But butterflies are also considered an omen of death: 

“Butterflies and moths were associated with death, sometimes merely as omens, sometimes as the soul or ghost.” These butterfly omens came in many ways.  For example, in the nineteenth century United States, some people thought that a trio of butterflies was an omen of death.” [x]

Oh.

But I also think there’s more to the butterfly symbolism than Mary’s imminent death; I suggest that, in keeping with @loudest-subtext-in-tv​ M-Theory (suggesting that Mary was planted in John’s life by Moriarty), they symbolize Mary as Moriarty reincarnated following his death in TRF. That Moriarty had indeed not disappointed Sherlock - there was a posthumous game after all! That Sherlock was supposed to understand that while one form of Moriarty died on that roof, another had emerged, continuing the mission of burning Sherlock’s heart. Mary is Moriarty’s calling card, left behind in the crime scene. They’re different, but not separate, which is why Sherlock is so obsessed with Moriarty between HLV-T6T; he’s both wrong and correct at the same time.

So far, what I’ve suggested is that in Sherlock, skulls are Sherlock’s symbolic memento mori - the skulls are associated with Sherlock in some very significant ways. 

However, Mary’s character was doomed from the start - she dies during Sherlock’s hiatus in ACD canon. I believe many fans assumed Sherlock’s Mary expected the same fate when she was introduced to the show. Although the story of Samarra is told by Sherlock, who expects his own death in T6T, Mary is the one who ends up dying. 

Butterflies in ACD canon

Searching for the significance of butterflies in the ACD and BBC canon led me to a number of interesting directions in meta written by others. 

The first and probably the best place to start is this meta post by @tendergingergirl​​, which I strongly suggest you read in full: Butterflies, Sexual Deviancy & The Bloodline Theory in The Hound of The Baskervilles. 

Stapleton also has a hobby. He collects bugs…Butterflies, to be exact. This can often be seen as purely academic, but depending on the actions of the hobbyist, they can indicate more disturbing things. That of holding something vulnerable captive, treating it as your hostage, pinning it down. The torture of animals has come to be a good indicator of someone who would do this to a human. He had already shown callousness by laughing as he recounts to Holmes of ponies wandering onto the Moor, becoming trapped, and dying. In 1974, there was a release of a new edition of Sherlock Holmes stories, with the forward of The Hound of The Baskervilles written by British author, John Fowles. He is responsible for several well-known works, including The French Lieutenant’s Wife. Another, was a novel that Mason finds himself wondering why Fowles doesn’t mention in his introduction, since the villain is such a close parallel to Stapleton.(but as we have learned through the study of ACD, most writers will not come right out and say where they got their inspiration. They like for you to guess!)

A lonely young man, works as a clerk, and collects butterflies, becomes obsessed with a pretty young girl, Miranda, an art student. He chloroforms, and kidnaps her, taking her to his cellar basement, to add Miranda to his collection. That book was called The Collector. But what else does it sound like?

“So yes, I googled. From an article on the release of the movie’s Documentary. "The docu proves a poor reference point for anyone who wants to understand the literary and movie links for “Lambs.” There’s no mention, for example, of how Harris partly based the butterfly-loving Bill on John Fowles’ kidnapper in “The Collector” …And here I thought Mofftiss added allusions to Silence of The Lambs into Sherlock just for fun. SMH.”

@tendergingergirl​ also added this photo to their post:

So what we have here is a chain of metatextualities/inspiration, starting with ACD’s THOB, where Jack Stapelton inspires a book about a disturbed butterfly collector (The Collector by John Fowles), which inspires a the author of Silence of the Lambs in creation of his character Buffalo Bill, a serial murderer who inserts a death's head moth into the victim's throat because he is fascinated by the insect's metamorphosis. Silence of the Lambs served as inspiration for Sherlock  as analyzed by @garkgatiss​ in Bond, Hannibal, and Holmes (I suggest you read the whole Hannibal section) . 

Let’s look again at some imagery from His Last Vow. Mary shoots Sherlock’s heart, essentially burning his heart out, and who does Sherlock meet in his Mind Palace in a very cocoon-like straightjacket? Yes, the dead dude who encourages him to die already (“one more push, and off you pop”).

What’s the next thing we as an audience see once Sherlock opens his eyes? Mary coming to the hospital to hear that Sherlock had, in fact, survived. And what is she wearing? Her butterfly scarf, one which will another appearance later in the episode, during the tarmac scene.

I also find it interesting that in the context of Sherlock and Silence of the Lamb, there’s an element of gender-switching between Moriarty and Mary. Buffalo Bill, the murderer from Silence of the Lambs, skins bodies of women to create himself a woman’s 'suit’; in Sherlock, Moriarty is a man-villain who transforms into a female-villain in the form of a bride and/or Mary. 

By the way, who else is obsessed with his suits?

Also, let’s not forget the worms, maggots and other such crawlers in the grave scene:

Now, let’s go over some of the photos I included in the beginning of this post a bit further.

Mrs. Hudson’s butterfly tea set is first shown in TEH - she uses it to serve John tea when he comes visiting her and tellis her about Mary. We also see it near John’s chair on the day of the wedding. This isn’t Sherlock’s set - his set is different, featuring the British Isles. Moriarty drinks from it in TRF. The next tea set we see, now that Moriarty is dead, is the butterflies one. In TLD, Mrs. Hudson uses Sherlock’s tea set - the butterflies are gone.

Mary’s bedroom wallpaper is very feminine, with flowers and butterflies, both complementing symbols while also very common in vanitas art. Much like Mrs. Hudson’s wallpaper in Baker Street, Mary’s wallpaper is supposed to show the contrast between Mary’s flat/Mary and Sherlock’s flat/Sherlock.

There’s an interesting moth reference in The Empty Hearse, which in my opinion, is Mary & Moriarty related. In short, in a previous piece of meta I wrote, I suggested that the Jack the Ripper case in TEH is subtext alluding to Mary’s skeletons, which Sherlock ignores because he’s upset by his reception by John. And what’s one of the first things Sherlock notices about the skeleton? New mothballs smell, hinting at an attempt to get rid of moth/butterflies - maybe a hint to  the fact that Sherlock has a chance to discover the truth about Mary but misses it. Also, in the context of Mary and the Jack the Ripper case, notice this transition:

Transitions are important on Sherlock - they’re nearly always there to draw our attention.

This, I think, is perhaps the most telling about a possible connection between Mary and Moriarty: we have both magpies (a Moriarty hint) and butterflies together here. This isn’t the only hint of Mary’s past we get in the wedding; there is, after all, the telegram from CAM.

Mary’s scarf is colorful, and it appears by the time Sherlock’s subconscious suspects Mary. Mary’s black butterfly dress - an ominous dress, I’d say - is the one she wears during the labour scene in the car. The third photo is a behind the scenes photo uploaded by Amanda Abbington, although I’m unsure whether this necklace is AA’s or Mary’s (but I couldn’t pass on including this).

Interestingly, the butterflies do not appear in Rosie’s context - either because it’s a telling sign that Mary won’t be with us much longer, or because Rosie is spared being considered a part of the ‘burning Sherlock’s heart’ plan. Sherlock, on the surface, seems to love Rosie and accepts her.

Also, another BTS photograph I came across during my research which I’ve never seen before and ties nicely to the vanity topic is this one (found here):

The Death's-head hawkmoth and ‘Death with Interruptions’

You’ll recall that I referenced The Collector and Silence of the Lambs, both featuring butterflies on their cover art. 

The Silence of the Lambs cover features Acherontia atropos, otherwise known as the death's-head hawkmoth. It gets its name from the sinister-looking skull shape on its back. In many cultures it is thought to be an omen of death. In a bit of another coincidental but stunning piece of symbolism, all three species of the Death's-head hawkmoth are commonly observed raiding beehives of different species of honey bee; A. atropos only invades colonies of the well-known western honey bee, Apis mellifera, and feeds on both nectar and honey. They can move about in hives without being disturbed because they mimic the scent of the bees and are not recognised as intruders.

Anyway, the use of Acherontia atropos reminded me of the book ‘Death with Interruptions’ by Jose Saramago. Interestingly, this is another book about a deathly collector with a butterfly on the cover:

In Death with Interruptions death is a woman, and she falls in love with one of her future victims. She decides to spare his life: Every time death sends him his letter [notifying him of his imminent death], it gets returned. death discovers that, without reason, this man has mistakenly not been killed. Although originally intending merely to analyse this man and discover why he is unique, death eventually becomes infatuated with him, so much so that she takes on human form to meet him. Upon visiting the cellist, she plans to personally give him the letter; instead, she falls in love with him, and, by doing so, she becomes even more human-like.

It’s pretty common to read theories about Mary who maybe was one of the assassins due to kill John both at the pool and in front of Barts. So we have a death harbinger trying to kill someone twice and failing. She then falls in love with him.

But how does the butterfly fit in?

Well, at some point in the story, death (that’s her name, sans a capital d), contemplates that using the death head butterfly, instead of a violet piece of paper, would have sent a much stronger message to those whose death is coming for.

And here’s another last bit of coincidental reference to Sherlock: I’d argue shades of purple, among them shades of violet, are associated with Mary and her secrets. There’s the purple dress she wears in TEH, her bridesmaids’ dresses include various shades of purple (including what I would argue was a violet sash) and let’s not forget:

Oh and, by the way, remember the song Donde Estas, Yolanda from TEH, about a woman called Yolanda? Always thought it was a bit of an odd choice for a song?

Yolanda is a female given name, of Greek origin, meaning Violet.

:)

Thoughts?

Credits: thank you @lukessense​ for directing me to @tendergingergirl​ meta about butterflies. Episode screenshots are from kissthemgoodbye.net.

@sarahthecoat​  @tjlcisthenewsexy​ @devoursjohnlock​ @inevitably-johnlocked​ @shylockgnomes​ @possiblyimbiassed​ @raggedyblue​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @gosherlocked​ @waitedforgarridebs​ @helloliriels​ 

[hello-nichya-here]

So imma break what seems to be the typical trend with these asks and not just tell you a head-cannon lol. What is your opinion on taking a good character and making them "bad-guys".

Warning - this part is long lol.

For example, I'm playing around with the idea of writing a story where Katara was kidnapped by the Southern Raiders at the age of 4 or 5. She was brought before Azulon who, upon seeing her age, decides to introduce her to Azula. His plan is basically to curb a bit of Ozai's influence on her. (For reference, Azulon is still an ass. Just not to his family and he has a respect for the power the other elements have.) So alongside that, he goes and collects everything he can on waterbending, and takes it upon himself to teach her (I'm having Azulon be the one that gave Iroh that speech about the elements being connected which he later told to Zuko. Just roll with it lol.) So Azula and Katara grow close over the years, Katara eventually not remembering her original home (when I say that, I mean emotionally. She feels no connection nor desire to go back because she was taken at a young age). As she's learning, Katara is quickly found out to be a bending prodigy, despite not having a real master. At age 8 she goes to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls with Azula, where they meet Mai and Ty Lee. While there she learns about different places water can be found, such as the water cycle and eventually the composition of the human body. (I feel like having Hama teach her is to predictable and it's counter intuitive to where I want the story to go lol.) So she begins experimenting. First with the water vapor in the air, then with the water within plants, moving on to her own blood and eventually other students. As she practices, and spends time with Azula teasing other kids, she becomes increasingly cruel. This trend continues and influences Azula as well, bringing out the worst in her (Hey she has a healthy respect for the other elements though. So Azulon didn't completely fail.) This trend continues until the girls are ten. Katara by this point isn't very outspoken. She finds the act of internally injuring someone fascinating, listening to how they scream differently depending on what's damaged. Azula is more outspoken, similar to how she is in canon only much more likely to actually do the threats she makes or even sometimes act first then give the order to someone else. At this age both girls are essentially bending masters (completely believable to me considering Katara became a master in just a couple months in canon). This is also the age when Azulon passes away.

Ursa leaves and not long after Iroh returns. That's when he does the unthinkable. He gives Katara a drug rendering her unconscious before taking her from the palace. He has her put on a boat and sent to the Southern watertribe. She hates it there, her body not adapted to the frozen wasteland of the tundra. She views Sokka as an idiot, but she does like Gran-gran. Her soft demeanor reminded her of how Azulon treated her. Unable to leave, she has no choice but to wait, choosing to hide her current bending skill. Things proceed as they did in canon until they find Aang. When Zuko arrives he does the same thing he did in canon. Aang reveals himself to be the Avatar. When he tries to turn himself over, Katara reveals herself. (I'm thinking of having her say "Hello Zuzu" in a condescending voice lol. Not 100% on how that particular scene would play out.) Zuko immediately recognizes (and fears) her. She proceeds to use her bending to throw him back on the ship before taking off with Aang, leading them away. Canon proceeds as normal, certain scenes like the waterbending scroll not happening because she's already a master bender. She focuses on learning Healing while in the NWT until the invasion. She kills Zhao when he threatens the moon spirit (her ability to bend. I wanna make this scene rather gruesome. She does it with subtle bloodbending so the others don't know it was her).

As they are escaping the earth kingdom fort, Katara has pretty much reached her limit with traveling with the group. She had hoped he would be the quickest way back into the nation, hoping Azula would be sent after him. She had every intention of ditching them at Omashu when she finally sees Azula. Katara pulls Azula out of the fight, into a secluded area where they have thier reunion (I am having them be soft with each other, and only each other.) Katara wants to join Azula but Azula instead wants her to act as a double agent. Seeing Appa flying in, Katara quickly pulls Azula in, stealing a kiss before running back and flying away.

Canon proceeds as normal clear up until the crossroads of destiny. Katara of course is happy to find Azula in the throne room. She willingly hands over the invasion plans before they spend the day together, eventually setting a trap in the Catacombs (Zuko is still going to be there). When Aang breaks in, she asks why he's with Iroh. Aang tells her about Iroh saying he saved her from the firenation before. Katara realizes what he means. She takes being on Aang's side eventually using her bloodbending during the fight to immobilize him, leading to Azula getting a clean hit with her lightning. Iroh tries to interfere as Sokka and Toph arrive. Katara goes off about her kidnaping her before preventing his blood from reaching his heart, killing him. Zuko trust to attack her in anger while Sokka and Toph grab Aang and flee. Zuko is captured and taken back to the firenation in chains.

*takes deep breath*

I went through ALL of that because my questions start at this point. I could have Ozai order Azula to kill Katara, leading to them fleeing and joining the Gaang, leading to a nicer ending. Alternatively, I could have the same thing happen and have Katara and Azula kill Ozai instead, with them systematically killing the members of the Gaang leading to fire nation victory. Or I could find some kind of middle ground, where the Gaang doesn't die but the fire nation doesn't give up the colonies as a condition of ending the war.

Which of these makes the most sense to you. Are these darker stories something you like? Should I make Katara and Azula's relationship co-dependent! On a scale of 1 to yes, how kinky should I have Katara get with bloodbending Azula lol? Overall, what are your thoughts? Hopefully this isn't way to much when it comes to an ask. I know that was a lot of set up for just a few questions but I felt the context was important. If nothing else, I hope you found that incredibly rough outline I came up with off the top of my head pretty interesting lol. I never actually wrote any of that down. I probably should at some point.

Holy shit, this was one hell of a wild ride. And yeah, you should write it at some point. Your story is interesting and from what I know about Azutara, that ship needs more content.

I really like dark, grim stories... but I live for happy endings. However, this is YOUR story. The advantage of fanfic is that it can be as self-indulgent as your heart needs it to be. Go with whichever ending you like the most.

Some sweet, sweet codependency is perfect for darker stories. Also you made me very curious with the bloodbending thing.

To sum it up: DO IT! JUST DO IT!

[t455a-rambles]

A Little Fanon Story for FNF StarCatcher

Before I start, y'all gotta check out the creator of FNF StarCatcher and support their creation on their Instagram , Twitter , and their YouTube Channel!

Alright! Now that you know the context, allow me to ramble about Boyfriends's journey and how he ended up at that place. Let's go!

.....

So, I had the idea of, Boyfriend was a space enthusiast and had a dream of becoming an astronaut someday and travel trough the galaxy. He began his early life learning and understanding the different types of planets to the layers of a spaceship. He also sang in his spare time and was fond of it.

After he graduated from college, he began to apply a job as an astronaut at the age of 19. It was tough for him to go through all of that training, but he eventually passed through the training.

A few years later, a team of astronaut were signed to do out and investigate a newly planet discover just a few years away from earth. Of course, Boyfriend was also joining the team and was super hype to finally visit space.

Let's just time skip to the day the team had arrived at the planet. One of them had to go out there and planted a drone and a sample for the researchers to study this unknown planet. Boyfriend insisted to take the offer and was geared up.

When he was trying to carefully take a few samples to bring back home, suddenly, there was a strong force out of nowhere and was pulling Boyfriend in. The other crew members was trying to pull Boyfriend back inside the spaceship, but the tube wasn't strong enough to withstand the powerful tug and was ripped open, which Boyfriend had to succumb to his fate.

.

Boyfriend felt like his body was beginning to stretch out and seeing a lot of bright colors. Think of that experience from the movie, Contact. Yes, I love that movie so much! After a while, he arrived at this strange buildings where the buildings had more curve and futuristic designs. And the people who roamed the land had those antennas attached to their heads. No doubt those were aliens.

Boyfriend was more fascinated than frightened, until he stumble upon a tall lady, a few centimeters taller than him. She was called Girlfriend. I would imagine that the aliens would speak Beep language but can easily picked up a foreign language so quickly. Of course, it depends on which type of species and region those aliens come from.

In this case, the Girlfriend is the heir to the throne of her own planet. She and Boyfriend almost instantly click with each other, most likely because both of them were very VERY curious about their background, themselves, etc. And even Boyfriend was learning the Beep language to better communicate with Girlfriend.

One of the Royal Guard noticed Girlfriend was talking to a strange being and immediately reported to Daddy Dearest, or DD for short. DD then ordered the guards to escort his daughter and her "alien" friend inside the palace.

When the two had arrived, DD interrogate Boyfriend in the Beep language. He asks about his name and the reason for him to be so close to his daughter. Boyfriend's response was a bit incoherent for the last question, telling DD that he is dating Girlfriend.

Girlfriend was shocked and blushed from that respond, but DD was furious. DD then challenged Boyfriend to a singing battle, which later he lost. But DD didn't gave up that easily and instead made a deal to Boyfriend. If Boyfriend could collect all six stars from different regions, he will be granted to date his daughter.

Up until that point that Boyfriend realized he was going to date Girlfriend, which was a huge misunderstanding from his response earlier. Girlfriend then reassures him and told him that they can hangout more and who couldn't resist spending time and learning new things from Girlfriend. So, he accepted the offer.

.

After battling some opponents, even Girlfriend's own mother, both Boyfriend and Girlfriend were getting closer than before and felt comfortable to be called friends. They spent a lot of their spare time exploring the region and making friends with their opponents even.

But even with the joy Boyfriend was receiving, he found himself feeling homesick as he never felt so far away from Earth. He then wondered how his colleagues and family would think. They might assume he was dead. And how long has it been since he was gone? Had it been days for Earth's time? Months? He couldn't tell.

Girlfriend had to reassure Boyfriend during his tough times and Boyfriend had to accept the truth that he may never come back. Boyfriend had to tell himself that he'll get use to the life he is now living and hope things turn out alright.

.....

Wooo!! That was long. And it almost sounds like a fanfic to me. Whoops ^^'

I kinda want to explain how Pico ended up as a half-cyborg since he's not from that world. And maybe go in depth on how Boyfriend knows the location of the stars and became friends with Skid n' Pump, Pico, and Mommy Mearest.

This was a lot of fun to think about. I hope you like my little fanon story ^^

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 8 of 26

Title: Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape Our Futures (2020)

Author: Merlin Sheldrake

Genre/Tags: Nonfiction, Creative Nonfiction, Science, Biology, Mycology, Botany, Anthropology, History, (I’m probably missing some), First-Person, Illustrated

Rating: 9/10

Date Began: 3/03/2021

Date Finished: 3/11/2021

Fungi are some of life's most essential, yet least understood organisms. In Entangled Life, PhD Merlin Sheldrake discusses the mysterious and largely unexplored world of fungi. 

How do truffles lure creatures to them? How do vast mycelial networks communicate and make "decisions"? How can some fungal species permanently alter the mind? How do fungi make life on Earth possible? How can fungi potentially replace our furniture and architecture? Entangled Life is an accessible primer to what we know about fungi, its effects on human life, and its potential role averting climatic and ecological disaster.  

Fungi are everywhere but they are easy to miss. They are inside you and around you. They sustain you and all that you depend on. As you read these words, fungi are changing the way that life happens, as they have done for more than a billion years. They are eating rock, making soil, digesting pollutants, nourishing and killing plants, surviving in space, inducing visions, producing food, making medicines, manipulating animal behavior, and influencing the composition of the Earth's atmosphere. Fungi provide a key to understanding the planet on which we live, and the ways that we think, feel, and behave. Yet they live their lives largely hidden from view, and over ninety percent of their species remain undocumented. The more we learn about fungi, the less makes sense without them. 

Full review and content warnings under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Recreational drug use, mention of animal neglect, mild sexual content. 

I've always been fascinated by--and a little terrified of-- fungi. They're essential to life on Earth, yet often seem strange and alien. I didn't get the chance to study them much in college, so I wanted to read a nonfiction work about them that wasn't necessarily just a textbook. Entangled Life caught my eye (or maybe lured me in?), and I'm glad it did.

Entangled Life is probably the best nonfiction book I've read in years. While it's definitely a scientific work (with a vast catalogue of citations to prove it), it's very approachable to a layman. Basic scientific knowledge is helpful going in, but Sheldrake makes sure to explain even simple concepts as they apply to various subjects in the text. While I wouldn't call this book a light read, it's certainly easier to grasp than a standard textbook or academic research paper. I was also pleased to see he cites and defers to a multitude of female scientists, which was refreshing after reading Bill Bryson's otherwise great A Short History of Nearly Everything. Is "including women" a low bar? Yes, but it's not one people consistently meet, so props.

What's interesting about Entangled Life is it's neither strictly scientific nor strictly about mycology, the study of fungi. It DOES go into our basic knowledge of fungi and recent discoveries and studies. But Sheldrake also adopts a holistic approach, acknowledging various disciplines and how they all relate to fungi as we know them. Sometimes this means botany, like how plants and fungi interact via symbiosis. Sometimes this means anthropology, and how fungi have shaped human culture and history. Sheldrake even talks about the notable contributions of amateur enthusiasts and how they have shaped our understanding of fungi. A big component of the work is speculation; philosophical tangents on what fungi mean to us, what certain discoveries could mean for the future, and so on.

There's definitely a creative component to the work as well, something that really tickled the former English major in me. I labelled this book Creative Nonfiction because Sheldrake often goes into his personal experiences with fungi; these sections read like a memoir. There's some illustrations originally drawn with inkcap ink, which is a nice, thematically appropriate touch. I also loved the section of gorgeous color photography and illustrations inserted into the middle; I felt this added some much needed visual context.

Also, my guy managed to use a Lord of the Rings quote to analyze mycelial networks, which I have to assume was a dare/personal challenge, but... damn dude. (AND an Ursula K Le Guin quote? Bro?)

If I have a criticism it's that sometimes Sheldrake's biases show a little. Probably the most noteworthy is the section on LSD and magic mushrooms. Sheldrake seems downright giddy about the positive effects of these mind altering drugs. And said positives are certainly interesting, like experiments that indicate a long term recovery from anxiety and depression as a result of ingestion. I also found the human history element of this chapter interesting; indigenous cultural uses, anthropological evidence, and modern usage and legal issues. But it's a little disingenuous to imply there are zero negative effects to drugs that can fundamentally change one's long-term personality after a single trip. Regardless of Sheldrake's own positive experiences.

Interestingly, Sheldrake DOES discuss how biases affect all scientific disciplines. He talks about how we naturally gravitate toward metaphor in order to contextualize nonhuman phenomena. For example, we might view symbiosis from a capitalist or socialist perspective, despite neither have anything to do with biological function. However, he doesn't delve into his own biases at all. But this is a nitpick. Biases are difficult to overcome even in a strictly academic work, which this isn't. For what it's worth, I think Sheldrake does a good job with this everywhere else. 

Overall, Entangled Life was a treat to read. I rarely venture out of speculative fiction but I found this whole book approachable and fascinating. I learned a lot of stuff I didn't know previously, so I'd consider this a good introduction for an amateur mycologist. I hope Sheldrake plans to publish similar works in the future.  

[wanda-peitro-lorna-maximoff]

Chapter 4

Part one here:

_____________________________________

Morgana was 16 now. Itd been a year since her father Uther announced she would be of marrying age. At the very least of age to be promised to someone, and it was easy to say that Morgana was not pleased at all. Arthur had tried to sway their father, as gently as he could without angering him, but Uther wasnt having it. The old man was already confined to his room, sick beyond repair, and he 'had to make sure his children were taken care of.' It didnt matter how. It didnt matter if Arthur would be miserable as a young king, or Morgana miserable as a house wife; as long as they were taken care of. And that's when Morganas teen rebellion really kicked in. Everyone knew about it, Morgana would sneak out late, making it incredibly easy for anyone to find her going to see her latest 'crush' of the week. She didnt mind the gossip-- she even welcomed it. The one suitor who had been at the castle when he heard about her 'cheating' - which, for the record, the prince had only asked Uther to court her; never morgana herself- was absolutely mortified. And Morgana couldnt have been prouder. Gwen and Arthur were... reasonably a bit embarrassed, but they had about as much of a chance of stopping her as Uther did. And if Gwen was really being honest, she found it hilarious. All Morgana had to do was ask for a kiss from a fair lady and the busybodies in the castle would get to work.... unfortunately the more it happened the more Gwen and Arthur were less amused. Gueinivier couldnt quite put her finger on it but it made her stomach turn whenever she saw Morgana kissing some other lady... Arthur was more annoyed in general, in a brotherly way.

But today seemed different. A lot more relaxed... no one was giving her letters from princes' or kings, and no need to ask for more favors from the ladies in the town or working in the castle. The perfect day to get up to something with Morganas favorite people in the world... Gwen and Arthur. ... well, Gwen was definitely a favorite, arthur really got on her nerves a lot, but he was still her brother. So that's what brings us to the now. Gwen and Morgana walking through the forest in comfortable silence... Arthur had unfortunately been roped into another meeting with the king and the round table, so the two thought to make it a girls day. As they walked, Gwen couldnt help but let her mind wander, glancing over to Morgana... it was true, the Pendragon siblings were both very good looking. Anyone anywhere would love to be their king or queen... but gwen loved them beyond their looks. Morgana was mischievous, mysterious and bold. Arthur was strong, dependable and kind... the two put her head in a tizzy. But with Morganas.... escapades lately... she couldnt help but give the witch the cold shoulder. The secrets and kisses from other girls were funny and cute at first but now they had gotten a bit more frequent... a little more bold. And unfortunately, Gwen was far too good at hiding her true intentions because Morgana hadn't even noticed anything was wrong. Sure she had acted a little off at times but, times were strange now... with her fathers declining health and tensions on making sure Arthur was ready to be king...

... and then Gwen nearly jumped out of her skin. Her thoughts were so abruptly interrupted by a sudden presence that she let out a squeak in suprise. the suprise guest in question laughed at her reaction, along with Morgana.

Mab had been watching the two for a few minutes, waiting for a good moment to suprise them and drop from her place in the trees. "Hello you two." Mab put her arms around the girls. Admittedly it had taken her a while to accept Gwen even as an acquaintance. But what really sealed the deal for Mab was Gwen's pure, genuine fascination. Whenever she looked at magic and its byproducts her expression held nothing but amazement, wonder and fondness. And if anything, Mab wanted to keep amazing her, just to see that look on her face. It never failed to make her laugh. "I'm suprised you're both out today..." the princess trailed off, and Morgana groaned. "Its been absolute hell back at the castle." She rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders for emphasis, to which Gwen chuckled and shook her head. "They... that is, Arthur and Morgana... have had their hands full to say the least." Gwen further explained to Mab, who got a thoughtful look on her face before replying. "Sounds like you've come to the right place to decompress then." She winked at the girls before wordlessly leading the way further into the woods...

"Ahhhh...." Morgana sighed in relief as she sunk down in the fairy made hot spring. She didnt realize how much tension she was holding in her neck and shoulders until now, but the hot water was absolutely amazing on her muscles. All that running away from terrible princes, knights and responsibilities does a number on ones self she supposed... "Are you two done yet?? The waters going to get cold." Morgana called through the thick veil of greenery to Mab and Gwen, who were currently whisper fighting with eachother. Since neither girl was exactly ready for a suprise swim, Mab had let them borrow some of the stollen goods she... acquired as offerings in her woods. People who dont want to be kidnapped, killed, cursed or worse always left her a little something at the threshold of her home. And the few cloaks she'd acquired she allowed Morgana and Gwen to use... they were her least favorite anyway. But honestly, Mab didn't see *why* you needed to cover up around others while you swam, showered, bathed, etc. It was a completely foreign concept to her, but she got a kick out of the red faces from Morgana and Gwen she just told them both to hop in. "I cant just go in! What if its... not secure enough." Gwen gestured to the 'swim-suit' Mab fashioned for her. "Well, then itll fall off. What do you *think* would happen?" Mab hissed back at her sarcastically. "You'll be fine. Its not like she'd bite you.... well..." Mab had to reconsider that. Gwen shoved her arm and the faerie princess grinned. "Follow my lead." She said confidently, Gwen watching as Mab strutted out. She had her usual attire on. Not uncommon, since it looked like the plants that made up her base clothing were just a part of her; but the few nice touches of clothing or signs of humanization were gone.

She stopped at the far end of the spring before jumping in and swimming over to Morgana with ease. "Come on Gwen." Mab said impatiently, and Morgana shouted after her. "Sooner you get here the sooner we can play water games!"

Gwen took a deep breath. Be brave. Just like them. She rolled her shoulders and closed her eyes, calming herself down before opening them again, now with new determination. Her nerves wouldnt get in the way of this rare day off. So, she took off running... and dove into the water. She could hear Mab and Morgana clapping and laughing above, swimming over to them now as she breached the surface. "That was amazing!" Morgana said with a big grin. "One things for sure we've got to do that together-- just... neyoooommm... " she put her fist in the water suddenly, making a splash. "See how big a splash we can make..."

"Well. One things for sure, the fun is only just beginning." Mab gave them a mischievous smile.

The fun was officially in full swing. Mab had invited a few fresh water sirens to come play a guessing game with them, and it only escalated from there.

Some of the river nymphs were playing as a referee for the games going on; some of the kelpies at the bottom of the hot-water would sing while a few of the fae would try and guess what they were singing. Some of the sirens were playing a competitive diving game with their treasures; bits of bone, a pearl or two. Whoever got to it first kept it. Which, without supervision quickly devolved into a bloody fight. A few of the not-so-water-resistant creatures were having loads of fun just on the shore, making flower crowns for any winners and not so subtly trying to help the contestants who they thought were the cutest. Morgana had joined Gwen in the kelpy game, since the creatures had a tendency to drag any losers down underwater and drown them... but Gwen was doing suprisingly well. Morgana was only a little bit jealous. Mab had split from the girls briefly to compete with the sirens, winning a few games and rejoining her friends once she had enough trophies of victory. They came to sit with eachother at the edge, all three of them smiling to themselves and basking in the fun. "So. How's your day off been?" Mab asked them with a grin. "Well considering Gwen's won more games than I... I'd say not so well." Morgana joked, making Gwen laugh. "Well, I can give you some pointers next time." She winked and nudged Morgana with her elbow; making Morgana blush just a little. "Well. Either way you both look just about ready to join the sirens with the way you're pruning up there. Let's get you two dry." Mab hopped out of the 'pool' and shook herself dry a bit. "Okay *mom* " Morgana teased as Gwen and her followed. "No you pronounced it wrong. Its MAB." Mab corrected her. Morgana wasnt super sure if she was being serious or not, but it didnt matter. Mab lead them to a closed off area where she stashed the twos clothing. "Once you're dressed we can do some land-games." Mab winked at them, squeezing out her hair. Gwen and Morgana went over and grabbed their clothes as Mab got some cloth to help dry them. The fae girl allowed them both a screen of ivy and vines to get dressed in a bit of privacy...

Today was... something else. Gwen couldnt remember the last time shes had this much fun. The amazing wonders around her filled her head with dreams and her heart with hope and longing for adventure... discovering more and finding things no ones ever seen before... but only if it was with her friends. As cliche as it was... she wanted Morgana... Arthur, even Mab there with her. Wherever the road took her. They completed her in a way she could never have imagined. She wanted to be there for them. Just as they would for her... Gwen had many friends as a child. But when her family moved to Camelot, all of it was ripped away from her. She wondered sometimes... if they thought of her. But the Pendragons and this magical world... took the heartache away.... but... recently? With Morgana..? The heartache returned... no it wasnt the same as before. No force on earth could take Morgana away from her. No, the heartache wasnt one of sadness... it was longing. So similar but so different. The heartache that belonged to Morgana was one that was bitter-sweet. Whenever she looked at her it was the feeling of coming home to a warm fire and sweet fruit.

So then... why did the thought of being with Morgana... hurt at the same time?

..she knew the answer. Arthur. She loved arthur just as she loved Morgana. And yet... not. They were so different but she loved them all the same. The kind of love she'd want to come home to and kiss before bed every night.... Arthur and Morgana... were her love.

Meanwhile, Morgana got dressed. Nothing in particular was on HER mind. No... but something was on Mabs...

The faerie peaked her head through to Morganas side. Seeing she was infact decent. Mab had been infatuated with Morgana for a long time. She'd known it in her gut. Shes told so many of her friends and they all dismissed it as wanting a pet. And shes seen fae have human pets... the feeling wasnt the same. For them It was control... dominance and cruelty. But Mab wanted Morgana for the very reason just to love her. When she thought about kissing Morgana her heart raced, when she thought about curling up with her, going to bed and waking up to see her face everyday... it made her heart hurt with how much she wanted that. Real love...

"Morgana." Mab began... there was a pause. "... Mab?" Morgana questioned her. She looked incredibly suspicious... was this the start of some prank? "I..." Mab stepped further in. "Wanted to tell you something." She crossed her arms loosely. Mab had never actually planned this part out. She always figured that somehow, someway, she'd just sweep Morgana off her feet and Morgana would have no choice but to practically marry her on the spot!.... but this was definitely not how things were going to go. Morgana was... difficult to really wow, or 'sweep feet'. "... okay." Morgana narrowed her eyes at the faerie, getting ready for some sort of prank or attack of some kind... Mab walked closer... and awkwardly put her hand on Morganas shoulder... and came in closer... until the side of her face touched the side of Morganas... okay so maybe it wasnt 'telling' her anything... Mab didnt even know if she could say the right words... but she hoped and metaphorically prayed that Morgana understood.

She did. It was an intimate gesture. Mab trusted her... to turn her face to her and keep her close; faces touching just slightly. This was big... and Morgana couldnt help the huge suprised grin that spread across her face. Off and on throughout their friendship she's thought about it-- being with Mab. Theres no doubt that they got along and shared so many things in common, but she never even dreamed that Mab would come to her first. And like this.

Mab slowly pulled away. Looking reserved and guarded, waiting for Morganas reaction... still hopeful she understood, and accepted. "So... you like me?" Morgana asked with her grin. Mab looked just a little insulted at that. "Of course I like you! What do you think I am? An idiot? It would be stupid of us not to court! We love the same things, we're already so close and we-" Mab was cut off by Morgana kissing her on the cheek. "Ah yes. How could I argue with such air tight logic?" She asked sarcastically. Mab was completely frozen for a moment. "Is that a yes?"

Morgana smiled. "Does this answer your question?" She pulled Mab back in and kissed her. The faerie could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She pulled Morgana as close as she could, and kissed her back... unbeknownst to them, the screen Mab created was falling apart into beautiful wild flowers to reveal the scene to Gwen...

When Gwen saw the two... she felt like she was going to vomit. Not out of disgust. Never. But she never thought that seeing her secret love and good friend kissing could break her heart so much... she just stood there. Frozen.... until Morgana noticed. And she laughed.

"Wow. Look at miss queen of the fae... cant control her plants when shes kissing." Morgana teased Mab, who was now red in the face, looking around to see Gwen and of course... no screen of greenery. "A-um- i- I can control them! I can do... anything!" Mab argued. Morgana laughed. "Does that include making your face go as red as my hair?" She asked. And honestly... in the moment... gwen couldnt help but laugh along..... it was better than being heart broken.

[sanguinemcinere]

What ships do you have for Blight?

Honestly I am a pretty liberal shipper and tend to take things on an individual basis in an rp sense but in a broader sense of what I enjoy/ships I personally have with him: 

Felix/Blight: This is my number one. I could write a whole essay on how they’re such perfect foils to one another and how their history is tied together. (Ambition vs Hubris, Social Awkwardness vs Charisma, Putting the needs of others above themselves vs not seeing individual harm they do in the pursuit of bettering humanity as a whole, their false personas and the Jekyll & Hyde inspiration, the fact there’s evidence for both of them having ADHD or autism, etc). I adore this ship, it’s my OTP for Blight for sure. There’s a bunch of other stuff but that’s specific to my writing with  @mxthborn (my fiancée who writes Felix)

Blight/Claudette: I feel this one has amazing potential, especially when he’s still Talbot. They both share a great passion for botany (after all it was a foxglove that started Talbot down his path) and it’s honestly kind of cute imagining them nerding out about plants together and researching the pustula plants and their effects togethers. 

Blight/Elodie: Much like Felix they have a tied history (It was his old lab the Pariahs explored on Dyer Island) and they share a fatal flaw: Knowledge without wisdom and going too far in the pursuit of truth. Hell, they’ve both robbed graves on more than one occasion and messed with arcane beings and rituals they don’t truly understand. I feel they’d encourage each other’s obsession and whilst it’s not healthy it’s an interesting dynamic. 

Ghost Face/Blight: Honestly this is just self-indulgent because of fanart I’ve seen lmao. I don’t have any real reason for shipping it, I just enjoy it. I do think someone like Danny would fascinate Talbot. They’re foils to each other too in a way, Danny is utterly unrepentant for all the harm he causes and came to the Entity’s realm willingly; Talbot is haunted by horrors of his research and seeks to put it right, he was actively trying to find a way out of the Entity’s realm because he was tired of suffering and causing suffering. So that’s a nice dynamic there. 

Blight/Plague: Super self-indulgent too since I write and adore them both but I feel they could each challenge each other’s blind devotion and obsession. In Talbot’s case, it’s to alchemy, the soul chemical and the pustula plants and serum— in other words, science or rather an abuse of science. With Plague it’s her literal faith or rather the warped faith the Entity has caused her to have, causing harm when all she wanted to do was help, ignoring warning signs of her own sickness because she enjoyed her Gods and followers’ attentions and of course condemning non-believers for not adhering to her faith. They could knock some sense into each other. 

That’s it off the top of my head. I certainly don’t dislike every other ship but those are my big ones, everything else is kind of individual, case-by-case depending on setting, context and so on. Also ship him with a very self-indulgent self insert in my head but that’s not important and just let me live. 

[severalspoons]

What’s my age again? (In Trigun)

I’m continually fascinated by the way Trigun, both the anime and manga, plays with age.

When we meet Vash, he’s 131 (in the anime) or 150 (in the manga), but he looks to be in his early twenties. He’s gotten to know generations of people since the Fall. He remembers their names, and saves their lives. He’s old, weary, and depressed -- incongruous with his youth, beauty, and perfect smile. He loves people and loses them, and watches humanity do the same. Each moment of his life can be appreciated as it is, and then assimilated into the context of his long memory.

At the time of the fall, Vash is both ten years old and one year old. He can think and act like a ten year old, his body has the size and strength of a ten year old, but he only has a year of experience, a lot of which involves listening to Rem. No wonder Vash comes off as naive, and Knives (actually in the same situation) feels responsible for him.

The plants’ early development has an element of free will versus determinism, or nature vs. nurture, depending on how you look at it. Vash and Knives are conditioned by their environments, and share similar experiences before the Fall, but they make very different choices (free will beats determinism). Alternatively, Vash and Knives’ choices are based on their advanced plant biology, not the (limited) experiences they’ve had (nature beats nurture).  The relationship between Vash’s physical self and life experience has flipped.

I think Vash’s childhood situaton resonates with me because it’s an exaggerated version of the asynchronous development that we call giftedness, which shaped everything about my life. (And also inspired my gifted problems headcanons). Giftedness means being out of sync in so many ways. Out of sync with your peers; out of sync with yourself (because of uneven abilities), even from moment to moment What age are you right now? Who knows. Depends on whether you’re reading, doing math, stacking blocks, sharing toys, or riding a bike.

And then there’s manga Wolfwood. I wish I could talk about him without spoilers, but I can’t. So all of that is behind the cut. TL;DR, Wolfwood is also multiple ages simultaneously, and it’s interesting to think about how that affects his perspective, and compare it to Vash’s.

Age, in general, resonates with me because it’s become an existential issue. Like so many millennials, I haven’t done most of the checklist of things you’re supposed to do by my age, and face pressure from other people that I’m running out of time. I’m at the age I thought meant “grown up” when I was young, the age my parents were then. Now, I’m nothing like what I’d imagined a grownup to be.

My writing is still weird because my life experience lags well behind my writing technique and ability to analyze media. Will it always feel so frustratingly uneven?

What do you think about age in Trigun? What aspect of it interests you most?

Wolfwood

Inside that beautiful body is a person on the edge of adulthood, who has had to shoulder burdens beyond his years. Like Vash as a child, he’s pulled a lot of knowledge out of limited experience What age is Wolfwood really, even on the inside? 

This awkward, sweet, very young looking person who compliments Vash’s smile has already attempted will soon attempt to kill God.

If you held a suffering competition, Vash would win in terms of sheer amount of trauma, but Wolfwood wins on density. When almost every experience of your life involves people being cruel to you or others, it’s hard to imagine a better life, much less a better world. Wolfwood’s cynicism runs deep.

Each moment and decision is a meaningful fraction of his life. That would intensify his guilt. However, being exposed to new perspectives would have a greater effect on him. It makes sense he would be influenced by Vash’s philosophy...if he can get past the “every moment of my life was traumatic and people were almost always horrible” thing.

[theradioghost]

...ok what's up with corsets?

I mean, mostly just a lot of misconceptions about how they worked and what they were for. I’m going to ramble a lot here, but please know that I am not by any definition an expert on any of this, just a 19th century lit major who’s studied a lot of historical context stuff for research and fun purposes.

One clarification is, to simplify the complex and annoying evolution of language over centuries, if it’s from the  early 1800s or later, it’s a corset. If it’s from the 16th-18th centuries, it’s “stays” or a “pair of bodies.” (I think bodies was an earlier term more commonly used for outer garments while stays were undergarments, but don’t quote me on that.) Stays were basically conical with quite a long torso, and you couldn’t lace them particularly tight because metal eyelets weren’t invented until the 1830s and the fabric couldn’t take that strain. Depending on the fashion at the time, their basic function was to create a perfectly smooth, very long silhouette, push your boobs up, or both. Typically their structure came from cording, reeds, whalebone, or layers of paste-stiffened fabric; steel stays from this period are essentially orthopedic devices (or, and I’m obsessed with this idea: fakes created by 19th century fetishists. There’s a reason the 19th century is my favorite historical period and it’s because everything was absolutely nuts, all the time). They also fell in and out of fashion at times – if you look at the naturalistic, Grecian styles of European dresses in the 1820s, for example, many women were wearing either very light stays just to push their bust up, or none at all.

Some nice examples of stays from this period are this, this, and this, from the V&A’s collections. Looking at most portraiture of women from the 16-1700s also pretty clearly displays the conical silhouette that stays produced, but I’m going to refrain from adding images to this post because I already suspect that it’s going to be incredibly, frustratingly long.

Women basically weren’t wearing structured undergarments before the Renaissance, so medieval stays are not a thing.. Although on a fascinating side note, a few years back someone found a bunch of medieval bras, which we had no idea were a thing until then, so that’s really cool. 

Regardless of whether you’re talking stays or corsets, two important things. First of all, they were not worn directly against the skin what the hell, firstly because that is incredibly uncomfortable, and secondly because in periods where most people owned fairly little clothing and a lot of that was wool, having a linen or cotton undergarment under all your clothes helped keep them cleaner by separating them from your skin. Historically most often that was a shift, basically just a big long undershirt thing.

The second important thing is whalebone, historically always the number one material for corset boning. Whalebone is an incredibly misleading name, and I hate it, because it took me forever to learn that “whalebone” is not bone but baleen, the bristly stuff that filter-feeding whales have instead of teeth. It’s made from keratin, same as our hair and fingernails. It’s light, flexible, and becomes bendable with warmth, meaning that over time, the boning of a corset would conform to your natural body shape as it was warmed by your body heat, and would stay in that shape. All-steel boning only really became A Thing in the last couple of decades that corsets were an everyday garment for most women, and that wasn’t because of superior structural properties. It was because it was cheaper, given that after centuries of whaling, there were a lot fewer whales to hunt, and acquiring baleen became more expensive and difficult. Even then, a lot of manufacturers just moved to things like featherboning (made from the shafts of feathers), coraline (made from a plant whose name I cannot remember), cane, or just cording (often cotton or paper cords), rather than steel. They also tended to use spiral steels, which can flex more, as opposed to solid steel bones. The main use of steel in corsets was actually to reinforce the closures, the front busk and the back where it laced.

(Most modern corsets are either all-steel waist training corsets or “fashion corsets” boned with flimsy plastic, but there’s actually a modern product called synthetic whalebone which is a plastic designed to replicate the properties of baleen as closely as possible.)

Then we get to the Victorian period, and that’s where pop culture really kind of loses its shit over the idea of corsetry? All the fainting and shifting organs and women getting ribs surgically removed (what) and generally the impression that Corsets Are Horrible Death Garments.

Tightlacing is one of the big things here. Yes, there were Victorian women who tightlaced to reduce their waists to dramatic extremes, and it was not healthy. There are also women today who put themselves through dangerous, unbelievable things to achieve the most fashionable body possible (tw in that link for disordered eating, self-harm, and abuse), and that article only covers the extremes of the professional modeling industry, not everyday things like high heels, for example. Most women who were tightlacing were young, wealthy, and fashionable, not worrying about being healthy enough to work as long as they could achieve ideal beauty – the same people who do this kind of thing now. And part of the reason we know so much about it is that it was extreme and uncommon even then. Medical experts ranted about the dangers of tightlacing, people campaigned against it. It was definitely not the case that all women were going around suffocating in tightlaced corsets all the time.

It’s worth considering our sample of evidence. You see a lot of illustrated fashion plates, which don’t look like real women now, and didn’t then either. By the late 1800s, photographers had already figured out plenty of tricks with angles and posing to make a model look as wasp-waisted as possible. They would also just straight up paint women’s waists smaller in a lot of pictures. And when you consider surviving garments, a disproportionate number of them are from rich young women who hadn’t yet married and had children, because for a variety of reasons those tend to be the clothes that are preserved and survive. The constantly-swooning women of Victorian literature are for some reason presumed to be representative of real life and the constriction of corsets – let me tell you, as someone who studied 19th century literature specifically, everything is exaggerated and melodramatic, especially extremes of emotion (and men also swoon a lot too). It also seems weird that we nod along unquestioning with the most extreme claims of 19th century panics about the medical harm of corsets (rib removal? with 19th century surgery???) and then just mock those silly, stupid Victorians when we read about things like bicycle face or the claim that fast vehicles would make women’s uteruses fly out of their bodies or whatever.

In fact, corsets were a pretty sensible garment in a lot of ways. They seem really restrictive to us now, but historical garments in general didn’t stretch the way modern knit fabrics do. In addition to supporting the bust just like any modern bra, corsets could actually make moving and breathing easier by helping to support the weight of ridiculously heavy dresses. Women did in fact live everyday, active lives wearing them, including lower-class women who worked physically demanding jobs. Late-Victorian women actually started doing a lot more sports, including cycling – that cyclist at the top of the bicycle face article is definitely wearing a corset, for example. They were used to them, too, and used to the specific ways you move in those kind of clothes, which most modern folks who try to wear that stuff one time are not. One interesting thing I’ve heard is that while corsets helped posture a lot – a lot of people today use them medically to help with back pain and support for just that reason – over time that understandably means that if you’re always wearing a corset, your abdominal muscles won’t be very strong because they’re not doing as much work keeping your posture straight. No ab crunches for Victorian women I guess.

Looking at extant Victorian-era clothing, the fashionable wasp-waisted silhouette actually had a lot more to do with the optical illusion achieved with extensive padding, which widened the hips and turned the upper body into a smooth, Chris-Evans-esque triangle. In comparison, the waist looks smaller. (Seriously, look up some photos of late 19th century ladies, their whole front upper body is this perfectly smooth convex curve. That’s all padding.) Silhouette was what the Victorians really cared about, and padding is a lot more sensible and comfortable than tightlacing.

My basic point here is just I guess that there’s a common and weirdly moralizing perception now that the historical corset was, invariably, this horrible constricting heavy steel cage thing that damaged your health and was a Tool Of Patriarchal Oppression. There’s also a lot of really bad costuming in historical dramas. I just think the reality is a lot more interesting. Also that modern steel waist training corsets kind of terrify me?

If you want more info and some good primary and academic sources from people who actually study and recreate historical garments and Actually Know Things, I recommend Bernadette Banner’s videos (here and here) on corsets – also just her stuff in general, I’ve been incredibly happy to see her gaining a lot of attention lately because she’s delightful – this video by historical costumer Morgan Donner wearing a corset daily for a week and talking about what it feels like, and this article, which cites among other things a really interesting late-19th-century study by a doctor trying to actually gather data on corsetry and its effects. Also for that matter, the aforementioned YouTube costumers have respectively made 17th-century stays and a late 19th-century corset, and seeing how these garments are put together is really interesting.

(I feel like I heard somewhere once that S-shape corsets from 1900-1910ish might have been more potentialy harmful because they did weird things to your back posture, but honestly my historical knowledge and interest drops precipitiously when you hit the 20th century.)

[gothsic]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. in his own head maybe

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. lol what fandom does jo have a fandom here???

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ???

Are they underrated?  YES / NO. / IDK. jo thinks he’s underrated does that count??

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Jo is the master of his own story so yeah. I’m following my own canon and whatever I come up with to a T ( unless some good suggestions in writer’s workshops or even here come up! ). He is the main character of my limited series pilot that I hope to write soon called The Insomnia Trap.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Jonathan has many sides to him. The child of mixed Latinx parents and the youngest of three kids, he has had a relatively normal life ( save for early childhood, when he killed his mother by “accident” - should’ve mentioned that! ) and his very long goth phase in middle/high school, but always deemed himself to be on the outskirts of society. Because he was aware from a young age that he was simultaneously unwanted and unplanned, Jonathan came out of his upbringing with the idea that he never should have existed. This planted in him a very nihilistic, misandrist, and generally flippant view of the world despite pursuing his dream to work in comics and cartoons. Though he was hungry for recognition and dreamed of a world not on Earth, he often found himself to be a ghost wandering the streets of town, looking in on the people having fun in their homes without understanding why they were happy. His insomnia developed when he in his teens, though he still had trouble sleeping as a child after seeing his mother’s mangled corpse at the bottom of the stairs - his doing, of course. Whether he lives with the guilt or not is up to you to decide; it’s my personal feeling that there is a part of him, the human part of him, that feels horrible about what he did. He feels monstrous for it, in fact. This is part of the reason why, if he gets extremely close to someone, he warns them that he’s not a good person; the shred of good left in him. But he also feels his “metamorphosis” into the nihilist that he is today was inevitable, given that he was never supposed to exist in the first place. It should be mentioned, of course, that this nasty cocktail of things has not only stressed his insomnia, but he eventually was pushed into going to a sleep clinic to get to the bottom of his problems once and for all. He only encountered an extremely traumatic lucid dream that forced him to confront his past head-on. He was unable to save his rotting humanity ( D., a small girl that looked like his character Deirdre ), and was eaten alive by The Other, a creature that looked like a younger version of himself and eventually absorbed him into itself. He awoke, now in what can only be described as a constant lucid dream in waking life. He encounters monsters and hallucinations from his dreamspace frequently, and will sometimes see D.’s forest crop up in his backyard. To this day, he still believes D. is alive and well - and, of course, that the object of his obsession, the one person who ever understood him in his point of view, Annie Kaye, is going to one day return to him as he’s always dreamed. Sadly, she could want nothing less to do with his sorry ass.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —   Around the time that The Insomnia Trap was simply going to be a screenplay, I workshopped it every few weeks in my senior Screenwriting class in undergraduate school. The overwhelming response I got was that Jonathan was abhorrent, creepy, and the question a lot of people had was why we were following him versus Adri, his ex girlfriend who was documenting his struggles with insomnia. My only answer to this is that is the point - you aren’t supposed to necessarily like him, I instead invite you to understand why he does the things he does. I’m asking you to do something you don’t like, something that makes you uncomfortable, maybe. I don’t believe entertainment in any capacity should be forced to be all about how “great” a person someone is. He’s a horrible person you can observe at a safe distance, and pick apart - a real puzzle who has his nasty qualities and his strangely good qualities mixed into one. I’m not asking you to forgive him, either. I’m asking you to see him for what he is and judge him for yourself. Jonathan is a gigantic mess of things - he’s deeply traumatized, but has chosen to live a life where he’s given in to his narcissism and self-importance, and he’s deeply hurt many people in his life - the most obvious being Annie, whom he feels he “deserves” after suffering so much in his life ( sure... ). He is in many ways a deeply unlikable character, and I wrote him keeping this in mind. That said, he has his better qualities, though they’re few and far between, that I think can keep him human in the eyes of the audience ( his love of animals, guilt towards his mother’s death, his intense self hatred, his genuine love for his nieces and nephews and for children in general, etc. ). Since he’s the protagonist of The Insomnia Trap, I can only hope that he is a complex and interesting enough character to follow for audiences if/when the limited series gets picked up!

What inspired you to rp your muse?  — Jonathan is based off of a very long personal experience I had, and I’ve always been fascinated by intense psychological horror. The two things came together, at first, when I was 12 and simply evolved from there. Originally, the project was going to be an animated flash movie that was divided into parts - but that of course never happened, I was too young and too impatient to ever do that. Over time, I ended up focusing Jonathan’s character, and he first appeared in high school - sophomore year, actually, in a different context. He’s been in development for a very long time, in other words, and I grew fascinated with a variety of different concepts over the years that got incorporated into his story ( doppelgangers, lucid dreaming, revenge, obsession, tragic protagonists, etc. )! He is one of the most intimate characters I’ve ever created, and I love him to death.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Music is a big one, there are specific songs I want to get the rights to use in the project if it ever gets made, and that really helps keep me focused on this blog and develop Jonathan further. Also, threading with my fellow muns and seeing how Jo evolves over time. What’s he capable of? Can he change? Is he capable of change, or is he afraid of it? These are questions that are asked with each character he interacts with, and I sincerely live for it. Also, drawing helps me out a lot too - maybe you’ll see The Insomnia Trap in webcomic form soon... just a thought!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / no idea honestly lmao

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / depends!

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES - I also draw them! / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES! / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / sorta

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / though i can handle critique, film school definitely hardens you to that!

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I do. I’ve been explicitly told Jonathan is disgusting and totally unlikable by people to my face, and I have made leaps and strides to prevent my portrayal from going completely in the “this person is deplorable” category that was tempting to head towards. It’s easy to explore someone’s bad side rather than explore their good side, which I can forget about with him. That said, critique really does help me develop my writing further, and I desperately need it even if it can be hard to hear sometimes!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I love questions. If people ask me questions, I do my best to answer no matter what they may be. They can be challenging sometimes, but that’s what makes it so fun!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure, I’m happy to hear what people have to say. I may not agree with it, but hearing different perspectives is so important in my point of view.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  As well as I could. It can be frustrating, but everyone’s tastes are different, so I don’t really take it personally and move on. I’m really here to do what I want to do in the end, as the rest of us are, so I try to prioritize that over any negative feelings I might have.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Again, I just let it be. I’m used to people not really understanding Jonathan or not caring for him while understanding him, and that’s fine! Everyone has their preferences for what they like in leading characters or just characters in general. He is a triggering character with very triggering themes, and I’m writing him from a very prolonged experience I had ( and it’s very cathartic ) so I can understand why people may not want to engage with him or with me. I’m perfectly fine with it and invite people to put themselves first, and I move on like I mentioned in the above question.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yes! Please go for it. I literally do not proof my replies before I post them half the time so feel free to let me know if I misuse words or put commas/colons/semicolons or whatever out of place.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   — I think so! I try to be open and inviting to everyone I speak to here, and always encourage people to come talk to me if they’d like to. No pressure though! Roleplay is for fun, and it shouldn’t be anxiety inducing or any kind of work - do things at your own pace here, that’s what I say ( though I’m trying to follow my own advice! ).

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @forseenclade !!. thank you flower... luv Tagging: whomstever wants to !! feel free to tag me so i can see !!

[kazushuu]

❥ :: 𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 . . .

“ Hello everyone~ I have a special assignment, and announcement for you guys, so please pay attention...!

If you— eheh, if your ever watched anime then you might recognize this flower? ”

“ This is a red tiger lily! In Japanese we call it ‘higan-bata’ (彼岸花). In Latin they’re called ‘Lycoris radiata’, but there might be as much as a thousand names for it depending on the region! In Japanese, of course. This flower is native to China and Japan.

The bulbs of this flower are very toxic, so they’ve been planted in farms, around rice paddies, to keep pests away. Which is why nowadays they grow around bodies of water. They are unique because it takes quite an effort to make one bloom in the first place. Plenty of rain is needed for a bulb to sprout from the ground, so they bloom during autumn, or late summer...

Are you familiar with ‘hana-kotoba’? Yes! This flower is really fascinating not just for it’s metaphorical meaning when put it like that. Of course, each flower gets its meaning for a reason, and here... the red tiger lily is a symbol of death.

There are many, many legends about these flowers, although they are most prominent in Buddhist stories. In old Buddhist writings, the red spider lily is said to guide the dead through samsara, the cycle of rebirth. Here, they are seen as a tribute to the dead. Planting them near tombs, generally cemeteries is a tradition. For this reason, you should never ever give a special somebirdie a bouquet of red tiger lilies! It’s bad luck!!

Many believe that these flowers come from hell itself... And when you see a trail of them up here on the surface, you’ll be lead to death. Or that there where these flowers grow, two people once parted ways for good...

...Yes, all this history and traditions regarding the red tiger lily make it a symbol that often shows in art. Poetry, movies, books, and as I mentioned, animation... The one thing that always stays consistent is that they symbolize a definite end of something. Sometimes it’s death, sometimes less tragic. I-I use flower symbolism in my writing too, you know~

I think it’s really nice, so I decided to make a nice and hopefully relaxing assignment for you.

Please find a piece of media, or generally art, that uses tiger lilies and describe what the context of that scenario is. How did the author implement it? Oh yeah, music videos can be used too. Please don’t worry too much if you won’t be able to write more than one page about the story.

You see... The reason why I’m giving such a simple lecture is because I’ll be gone for the next few weeks. I’m gonna go on a trip with doctor Iwamine~ You’re all gonna have classes with other teachers, and you have plenty of time to finish this little project. To be honest, you can also write it about any use of hanakotoba in art. All that matters is that you create something, okay?

Y-Yeaah... any questions?

...Yes! I’ll go with doctor Iwamine on an, uh, paid vacation break, haha? We’ll go to all kinds of European countries~

...Iwamine’s favorite flower? U-Um, I dunno... I do think he’d like red tiger lilies. He’s a traditional type, so maybe he likes red roses... But that one time he said that he likes chamomile, which isn’t even red... W-Wait! That’s not related to the class at all! You’re distracting me againnn—!!

...Is nobody interested in my assignment?... come on guys... -sob-... ”