#making choices

[palatinewolfsblog]

"True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don't need to regularly escape from." Brianna Wiest.

[tom4jc]

Genesis 4:7 Sin Is Waiting At The Door

If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it. Genesis 4:7 Years ago salesmen would go door to door trying to get people to purchase their products or services. They would knock on the doors to try and get people to answer so that they could make a sale. People had to make a choice as to whether…

[pratchettquotes]

"If that's all the choice there is, I'm not choosing."

Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

[richelle-goodrich]

"It turns out that the simplest choices have been far more important in the long run than I ever imagined."

― Richelle E. Goodrich, Slaying Dragons: Quotes, Poetry, & a Few Short Stories for Every Day of the Year

[spiritusloci]

“Do you choose to love life in spite of everything?”

Really needed this right now, hope it resonates with you, too.

[thrivingwhilemultiple]

Choice was more important than safety.

I wasn't just destroying myself, but everyone with whom I came into contact, especially those who cared about me. My decisions were rash and desperate, but they were mine and, for a while, that was the only thing that mattered.

I could have, should have, died many times over. Dissociation, resilience, and tenacity can go only so far; denial and optimism can go only so far…

How am I not dead? How did none of that kill me?

– Reckless Luck

[aritaylor-ix]

“It’s okay to live your truth. Even if it doesn’t make sense or you go at it alone for awhile.”

-What I needed to hear today

[denimnan]

some bonds are hard to break

some bonds are easy to break

but some bonds have to be broken

they are like poison that kill you slowly

- N.R.K.

[redheadedfailgirl]

Some girls are rays of sunshine, and others are bumps of cocaine and it's up to you to decide which you wanna be

[kithpendragon]

This is all too common a difficulty (even among neurotypical folks!), and we should be teaching solutions to it as early as possible in the public school systems. Here's one solution that works really well for many people.

Decisions Pro Tip

The most difficult choices tend to be the ones with the lowest stakes. Higher stakes choices tend to have obvious downsides to the wrong answer[1].

e.g. Which flavor of ice cream? This is a Low Stakes decision[2]. Really, there's almost literally no stakes here at all. You're stressing out over optimizing the experience of eating ice cream. Tell me, have you ever had a Bad flavor of ice cream? Isn't the point to hang out with your friends anyway? Are you even going to taste most of that ice cream? But at the same time, there's just SO MANY amazing ice creams to try, right? And you'll definitely taste the first spoonful, won't you? And you love your friends and want to have the Best Possible Friends-Together Experience (tm) with them! UGH!!

One excellent solution is...

Sane Defaults for Low Stakes Choices

Set up reasonable rules ahead of any choices you know you struggle with so that you can't actually do it wrong.

That way you can just default to the rules instead of wembling around the issue for hours. This reduces the "Ugh Factor" - the friction of actually getting started!

Self-care-like choices:

A tie between basic needs goes to whichever is more urgent. If nothing seems obvious, decide that food gets priority over a shower because hunger will kill you faster than being sweaty will. Drink Water wins against Eat Food, and for the love of whatever you love just go pee right now. Does this reasoning actually apply to your situation? Almost certainly not! You can go weeks without food or shower if you have to. But it shorts the decision making process by pre-selecting a default action to get you off the couch to take care of your hungry, sticky body. You will get a sandwich in you AND a nice warm shower well before the three hour mark this way simply because you got started.

Ice-cream-like choices:

For ice cream, decide that Rum Raisin is the objectively correct flavor and plain chocolate is a reasonable backup if the ice cream place wrongly doesn't have that. Decide this BEFORE you go in and become overwhelmed with the 1.68 Billion different flavors. Ice cream shops are DESIGNED to make everything look delicious, after all.

Then (here's the power move) do EXACTLY one round of "does anything look substantially better than Rum Raisin (or, like, chocolate, I guess). If the shop has Mole Sauce ice cream today, that's rare and exciting and WAY more interesting than rum raisin so get that. In the absence of an obvious winner, get the default.

Now, for this class of decision it helps to make sure you decide ahead of time that the default action IS the Correct Answer (tm) and gets a +1 against EVERYTHING ELSE. There doesn't even have to be a "real" best answer!! Maybe you picked pistachio ice cream even though it's kind of meh (as far as ice cream goes - i mean, it's still ice cream!). But it is the Correct Answer (tm) -- because you said so -- unless some other flavor really catches your eye that day.

Note Well:

You're allowed to be wrong about your default selection! But the next time it comes up, still go with the old default. While you're getting your scoop or your shower, THAT's the time to think about what a better default might be and commit to the new one before the NEXT time you have to make that particular choice. Because you're not going to remember to figure it out between instances.

And remember, it's OK to have a sub-optimal experience if it means you're doing what needs to be done. This is for the low-stakes cases, remember? Literally any ice cream is better than none. You need to both eat and shower, the order doesn't really matter. The point is to reduce the Ugh Factor that's keeping you from doing EITHER thing!

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[1] For an example of high stakes decisions, think of signing a contract. This has lasting, legal consequences and you should be damn sure you understand what you're agreeing to and are prepared to actually follow through on that!

[2] As long as you can digest lactose, that is. If you can't, I think you can still get the point here. Imagine I wrote about sushi or stickers or something else instead. The same logic applies, that's how it works.

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

I'm a simple bitch. i believe the purpose of government should be to improve the lives of its citizens and protect its most vulnerable members. unfortunately i live in a day and age where this gets me labeled an enemy of the state

[richelle-goodrich]

"If you suffer lingering doubts; if the consolation you cling to is 'it will probably be okay,' then run the other way because what you’re contemplating is not a good choice."

― Richelle E. Goodrich, Slaying Dragons: Quotes, Poetry, & a Few Short Stories for Every Day of the Year

[alunah-lalunah]

Every choice she made in her life SHE MADE. Even if reluctantly, she must acknowledge these were HER choices alone, and even bitterly, it restored some sense of power in her.

[fogaminghub]

✨ Dive into our guide for the thrilling Cable Car Station Adventure! 🚠 Whether it's meeting new friends or facing tough decisions, each moment is packed with fun and surprises! Ready to see how your choices change the game? 🌟 Click here to explore the adventure!