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lovelivingmydreams · 4 years ago

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Paper Flowers: Everyone falls

But it’s getting up that matters.

People try their best. And sometimes that isn’t enough. But that doesn’t mean one should give up. This week Thomas had a bad night and tensions rose high. Join me in the morning after.

And with the fanders a little pick me up was just what the doctor ordered.

As usual Virgil woke up to Princey singing at the top of his lungs.

This morning's opening number was 'how far I'll go,' from Moana.

Virgil sighed. Today was going to be a long day. He'd expected as much. After yesterday...

Thomas had gone out with Joan to a party. There'd been a really cute guy. It had been fun and he was charming, a fellow actor even. Things were going so well... until, somehow, they had started talking about social media... YouTube and vine among them. This guy did not like the creator community. And he was very vocal about it. Something about attention seeking talentless idiots giving theater a bad name.

Luckily they made a clean getaway. Roman had played it off last night until he knocked at Virgil's backdoor.

Virgil hadn't needed an explanation. He'd gathered his first aid kit and came into the meadow to tend to Roman's injuries. Roman hadn't wanted to talk last night, so Virgil hadn't pushed him. Hadn't even made him promise to go to Patton if he wasn't feeling better in the morning. Roman usually didn't mind letting Patton look after him, but something told Virgil that he'd come to him for a reason.

He looked at himself in the mirror. "Let's get this over with."

He made his way downstairs for breakfast. He was the first to arrive. Aside from Patton that is.

"Virgil! You're up!" Clearly seeing Virgil was not what Patton expected first thing in the morning.

"Didn't have any other choice with Princey belting Moana in the next room," he grumbled.

Patton visibly relaxed at that. "Roman's singing... good. That's good."

Virgil was pretty sure he was the only one who ever heard Roman sing in his room. He didn't know if it was his heightened senses or something else, but no one ever seemed to complain about it. He'd never confronted Princey with it. First because he was sure Roman would sing even louder the next morning out of spite, and now because he kind of liked hearing a friendly voice first thing in the morning.

Virgil huffed and mumbled something about a bad night as he made himself a cup of chamomile, he needed to calm himself down. He did not like being here this early. Patton was too chipper in general and there was no one to distract him now.

"How did you sleep anxiety?" There it was.

The question, which normally came so easily when directed at anyone else was loaded with tension.

Virgil decided to stick with a shrug. Hoping that would be enough to let Patton feel like he'd met his quota of showing interest in him today. The answer was complicated. He'd been exhausted by the time he was done panicking last night. Especially since he'd tried not to show Princey too much of his worries while patching him up. He was having a rough enough time.

So once he did fall asleep he slept like the dead so to speak. It just took ages to get there.

Once his cup was in his hand he stalked to his seat he got some cereal and started eating. He could feel Patton struggle with something.

"I can practically hear you thinking. If you have something to say, just say it," he huffed, not looking up.

He heard a deep intake of breath.

"You were a bit too hard on Thomas last night."

Of course. Well at least he wasn't tiptoeing around him anymore. Before Patton dragged him to dinner that first time he would be so extremely careful when telling him to soften up. Like he was going to attack him if he said the wrong thing.

"We've established that I do what I do and don't care if you like it or not. Thomas needed to consider these things. You might've wanted him to forget that conversation ever happened but that isn't how real life works," he stated. Thomas had to be aware people thought those things to not get as hurt by meeting someone like that again. Pretending that if was a fluke and didn't matter was not right.

"Good morning Patton... Anxiety. Unusual to see you at the breakfast table,” Logan greeted calmly as he, made his way to the tea kettle. Virgil jumped at the chance to change the topic.

"Am I seriously the only one who heard Princey perform for his teddy bears this morning or what?" Virgil groaned. Logan cocked his head curiously. "Interesting... do you often hear things we do in private?" What? Where did that come from?

"I'm not eavesdropping! I literally woke up from the noise!" he seethed. He knew they didn't like him but did they have to assume everything he said or did had malicious intent?

Logan simply finished making his tea and toast before sitting down.

"Apologies that was perhaps not properly phrased. I just meant to ask if this was a first time or if your hearing simply automatically bypasses the barriers between the rooms all the time."

Oh, Virgil relaxed at that. Log

Oh. Virgil relaxed a little embarrassed he made such a big deal over it. Great job anxiety. Just another reason they would never truly accept you as s friend. Not that he was hoping for that. He was fine. He shrugged. "Princey sings every morning. Sometimes I hear typing from your room." Understatement. It sounded like the keys were about to be chattered under Logan's speed and force whenever he heard it.

"And..." Suddenly he changed his mind, this was all probably really private. He was anxiety. He figured he picked up Princey's singing in the morning no matter what mood he was in because part of him was listening for any noises whether in the real world or Thomas' mind. But the rest… that might be them under stress and he shouldn't expose any of them like that without permission. But asking Pat's permission now would prove he cared and it would out the fact that Patton was hiding stuff. "Just stuff," he shrugged dismissively getting back to his cereal.

Logan did not get the hint. "I see... would you..."

"Can we keep the third degree for some other time? I'm really not in the mood!" he groaned.

And just then the whole reason he was subjecting himself to this came in. With a smile plastered on his face and a grand gesture. "Good...!"

"No!”Vigrgil exclaimed turning to Roman, hiding his face from the others allowing him a chance to check him over. He seemed alright. But just to be safe. “Especially you! Just shut up! I don't want to hear another word this morning! I came down so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone trying to drag me down for family breakfast or whatever. So let's just eat in freaking silence alright!?" He shouted. He wasn't really that upset. But Princey might still not be up for Patton fussing over him. So Virgil hoped that for once Patton being scared of upsetting him came through in a good way.

“If you insist on making noise, hum or something. Just so long as you shut up for once!” And with that Virgil sat back down and started eating.

He could hear Patton ready himself for a reprimand but it didn't come. He assumed either Logan or Roman had stopped him. Roman sat down and hummed ‘Poor unfortunate souls'. A silent acknowledgment of what Virgil had done.

Breakfast was silent, and Virgil made sure to eat slow enough for Roman to be done before him so he could make a clean getaway. Logan finished first and left without a word.

Roman was next and went straight to the field. Virgil was a little happy to feel his key vibrate in an almost melodious rhythm. Roman's way of inviting him to hang out if and when he felt like it.

He finished his tea and got up. Planning to go straight to the meadow and check prince over. But Patton had other plans.

“Anxiety we need to talk.” Quite possibly one of the worst thing to say to literal anxiety, but okay.

“I feel like I made it clear that we were done. I don’t tell you how to do your thing. So you should do me the same favor,” he huffed before starting to walk away.

“Why didn't you answer Logan's question earlier?” The moral side blurted out.

Virgil, paused, he hadn't expected that. He didn't let that ruin his devil may care act though. “Didn't feel like it,” he shrugged.

“If that was all, I have to go and contemplate the futility of our existence,” he drawled with a salute.

He hadn't even fully turned around yet before Patton spoke again. Rushed as if trying to get it out before he could think about it. “Did you hear?”

Virgil froze. He knew what Patton probably wanted to remain secret above all else. What he might've worried Virgil overheard with his heightened senses.

He'd almost checked in on him last night, but then realized Patton wouldn't want assurance from him of all sides . What could he even say?

Logan was out too, and Roman was in no shape to take on another side’s troubles.

“Depends…” he turned back to face Patton his face still carefully controlled though he allowed himself to be sincere. “Do you like…” Ugh. He was going to kill Roman for hammering on about giving the others a chance. “Want to talk about it, or something?”

Patton looked surprised. He was silent for a moment, like he was actually considering it.

But Virgil could see how uncomfortable Patton was. Of course. Of course he didn't want to talk about it. Not to Anxiety at least. He hated how much that hurt. What did he expect?

“Then I guess I have no clue what you mean,” Virgil continued casually as he disappeared up the stairs. Not even waiting to get through his room before opening a door with his key. It was risky he knew, but he needed to be somewhere no one could bother him.

“Virgil, you came.” No one except Princey. But he was a special case. Virgil smirked at Roman as he walked over to sit beside him. The relief in Roman's voice and face was unmistakable.

“Of course I did idiot. You didn’t think I was actually mad at you right? We've had enough fights for you to know the difference I’d say,” he teased as he leaned back a little to study the clouds.

“Yeah, I just… I would have understood if you really needed a break. I know eating with us can be stressful, and I left you by yourself…” Virgil sighed, knowing what princey was getting at.

“How are you?” he asked instead glancing at the royal by his side. Trying to spot any sign of his injuries bothering him.

Roman sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. I took of the bandages this morning and they didn’t need replacing. But thank. Not having to pretend everything was perfectly fine this morning… I needed that. How did you know?” Roman wondered, allowing himself to be distracted for a moment.

“You only sing ‘I want’ songs and power ballads first thing in the morning when you are really down. I was honestly relieved it wasn’t ‘Go the distance’ or ‘Defying gravity’. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done then.” Not letting Princey force himself to put on a show during breakfast for the others was one thing. But making him stay in bed would be tricky to pull off without letting the others in on what he was doing.

“You… Hear me sing… And you know my mood by what songs I pick?”

Roman sounded moved for some reason.

“Yeah, I think it has to do with being on alert in the morning or something. And I can hear you the others in your rooms when you guys are… Anxious I guess. Logan was a nightmare during finals,” he jests.

“And I learned your mood playlist because it was useful to know when to avoid you and when I could push your buttons a little. I just use my knowledge for good now I guess.”

Roman gave him a playful push. “Aw, don’t lie. You were secretly worried about me when I sang my sad Roman Playlists,” he teased.

Virgil just rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Patton didn’t give you a hard time over this did he? Because I can talk to him later and get him to lay off, I can make an excuse…”

Virgil waved him off. “I’d never let you straight up lie to Patton for me Ro. You know that. And. He just… I let it slip that I heard you singing in your room. You know, to make them think all is fine and dandy. And Logan pointed out that we’re not supposed to hear what happens in each other’s rooms and wondered if I overheard stuff more often. I dodged the question and Patton wanted to know why. Wanted to know what I heard from his room.” It wasn’t exactly what was said but Patton was allowed choose who else knew how badly last night had upset him. Plus Roman would feel guilty if he knew. Virgil curled in on himself and stared ahead as he remembered how the conversation had ended.

“I… Tried to offer to listen if there was something he needed to vent about or something.” He averted his gaze, he didn’t want to even catch a glimpse of Roman’s pity. “Didn’t go well. Not that I expected him to open up to me of all sides. But… I don’t know…”

“It hurts none the less,” Roman said empathically. Virgil chanced a glance and was relieved his friend seemed understanding instead of sorry.

He relaxed a little. “Yeah…” he admitted.

He expected Roman to come to Patton’s defense. To explain why the moral side acted that way, and how good his intentions were.

But instead. “I’m proud of you for trying though. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

Virgil chuckled. “Thanks,” he allowed.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while.

“Wanna do each other’s nails while we brainstorm something fun for Thomas to do to give him a boost?” Virgil suggested casually after a while.

Roman shot up and ran to his room to get his stuff. Virgil couldn’t help but laugh. That was a yes.

Today was awful. Everything just insisted on going wrong!

You let yourself fall on your bed and pick up your phone hoping to find some kind of escape.

You see a new video from Thomas Sanders. Oh, those are usually funny. Maybe it’ll be a prank or a storytime…

You tap the video and see Thomas pointing at the camera.

“Hey you!” The camera goes up and down and shows the prince smiling at you.

“You gorgeous human being!” he declares grandly. Up and down it goes and the teacher character is looking at you with arms crossed and his head cocked a proud smile on his face.

“You are so smart,” he states with certainty.

This time the camera returns to the dad character his arms close to his chest hands balled in fists near his face, huge goofy grin on his face.

“You are unique!”

And then sleep! Looking like he’s taping in the middle of a party. “Take a nap gurl! You deserve it!”

And lastly the nemesis. He too has his arms folded in front of him but he looks at you with a strange sort of stern yet gentle look.

“You deserve love and respect. No matter what others say,” he tells you seriously.

And damn it. Why did that mean so much!? Maybe just because you kind of needed to hear that right now. Maybe you will have a quick nap.

But not before liking and sharing. Even sending it to a few friends to make them smile.

Next: The little things

#ts sides #sanders sides #Roman sanders #Virgil Sanders #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #paper flowers au

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wildlyminiaturesandwich · 6 years ago

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It’s time we talk about SimsDom again.

Most of you probably already know who and what Simsdom is but for those that don’t, Simsdom (or SimsDomination) claim to essentially be a CC finds website, which in essence I suppose they are... But don’t get your hopes up for a Lana replacement because they are SO much more than that. And not in a good way.

I know this is an old subject, and most people probably thought it was all over and done with, but Simsdom is still around and what’s worse is that I’ve noticed a growing trend among my fellow Game Changers who create content for Youtuber and Twitch/Mixer of promoting the site by using it to do CC shopping haul videos and streams, which is encouraging their viewers to use Simsdom. I’m not going to name names or point fingers but it made me realise that maybe some people don’t understand just how bad Simsdom is for the community in general, but especially for the amazingly dedicated CC creators of Simblr. And it’s just so disappointing to see people that some many in the community, including myself, look up to promoting this garbage site!

If you’re curious to know why this is a problem, I’ll explain under the cut. If not, keep scrolling... But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

If you visit the Simsdom website (which I’ve purposely not provided a link to because you absolutely shouldn’t visit it) you’ll notice a whole bunch of custom content is available there, more than likely you’ll even find quite a bit from some of your faves like @peacemaker-ic, @nolan-sims, @storylegacysims, @crypticsim, @renorasims, @savvysweet�� and MANY more. My stuff is even on there as well and if you’re a creator, the chances are high your stuff is too; whether you want it to be or not.

But don’t be fooled, myself and most of the other creators whose content appears on their site did not give permission for our content to be shared on there. In fact, most of us have specifically asked Simsdom to remove our content from their site. I say “most” because there are some people who willing uploading their content there (god knows why). The easiest way to the tell the difference is to look at who posted the content. If you see this:

That content has been shared by a bot, without the creator’s permission and more than likely against their many requests that Simsdom NOT share their content. If it says the name of the actual creator instead of “Exchange”, that creator uploaded it themselves.

You might also ask why anyone would care if their content was shared on a CC finds blog, after all, it means more traffic to our blogs and content, right? First of all, whether it brings in more traffic or not, is beside point. These creators have specifically requested Simsdom not share their content and they have been ignored, disrespected, threatened, and harassed. Simsdom claims that their users make up 30-90% of Tumblr creators traffic, but I call bullshit. I check my Google analytics every single month for traffic coming in to both my Tumblr and Blogger from Simsdom and I can tell you that LESS THAN 1% of the COMBINED TOTAL traffic from BOTH BLOGS comes from there. And when you understand how they operate, you’ll understand why that is.

- UPDATE -

In reference to Simsdom’s response to this post, they linked 5 creators that they claim meet their crazy statement that their site provides creators with 30-90% of their traffic. So I just thought I’d point out some interesting facts I noticed while looking at those sites.

One of those sites is dead; literally, it doesn’t exist anymore, if it ever even did. Another, @simiracle, is a fellow Game Changer who reblogged this post, so I’m guessing they don’t have support there. And the other 3 are alpha CC creators, none of whom have ever uploaded any of their CC to Simdom, nor have they ever mentioned Simsdom on their sites in any way. However, all three earn money on their own content via either adfly, adsense, patreon, or some combination of the three; my guess would be they wouldn’t be too happy to find out Simsdom is making money off them too.

You see, Simsdom might sometimes link back to the original creators site, but often times they don’t. I’ve noticed quite a bit of the content of my own on their site directly links to the file on SimFileShare, completely bypassing both my Tumblr and my Blogger. This might not seem like a big problem, but what about if the creator has put specific instructions, requirements, or notes on the original download page that if the downloader doesn’t read could result in broken/unusable CC, or worse, a broken game?

- UPDATE -

In reference to Simsdom’s response to this post, they linked to SimFileShare’s page on SimilarWeb and claimed that I was lying about direct-linking to my files there because their site does not appear in the list of referring sites. What they failed to mention is that that list only shows the TOP 5 sites that link to SimFileShare regularly. There are still 385 other sites that aren’t shown and can’t be seen without having an account with SimilarWeb. Convenient, huh?

I also said they only direct-linked SOME content. With my content it was only about 4 or 5 things out of the 15 or so they have on their site and I didn’t check anyone else’s stuff but I have heard other creators say the same thing. So of course they’re not going to show up in the top 5 if it’s only SOME links.

But wait, there’s more.

Anyone downloading from their website without an adblocker is forced to wade through potentially harmful ads as well. Notice the blue button that says “download” at the top? That’s not a real download button and if you click it, it will instantly begin shoving pop ups in your face claiming you have a system error or that your local law enforcement agency has detected illegal activity from your IP. Yes, I clicked it. There is nothing of importance left on my HDD (it’s all stored safely on an external drive that isn’t connected to the PC at all) because this drive has been slowly dying for weeks and I’m destroying it tomorrow and replacing it with a brand new one, so I decided to take a chance.

These ads, which are on pretty much every page of Simsdom, are what’s called “Ransomware”, and it’s whole purpose is to distract you with fake pop up “warnings” when you click on it so that you don’t realise it’s actually downloading a very harmful file to your computer in the background. It’s designed to be next to impossible to close the pop ups, so that even if you somehow became aware of the download happening, you couldn’t get past the pop ups to stop it before it’s had time to finish downloading and automatically begin running it’s payload when it’s done.

What payload? That’s the scariest part, you won’t know until it’s too late. It could be something as simple as a trojan that will force your PC to mine bitcoins, which is still harmful because these mining trojans are resource hogs and put a massive strain on your CPU. Or a trojan designed to target and encrypt specific files on your computer (usually sensitive ones) and demand you pay a literal ransom (usually either in bitcoin or pre-paid cash) and if you don’t, your files will either be complete erased or leaked.

Or worse still, it could be something even more sinister such as a key-logger; a piece of spyware that is designed to track and log EVERY. SINGLE. KEY. you touch on your keyboard. So every password you use, every online banking key code you enter, all the conversations you have via Discord, Twitter, Tumblr, or any other form of instant messaging, that fanfiction you’ve been working on that you are too scared to show anyone in case they think you’re a pervert, your credit card and bank account number you use to shop online, what porn you look for, even your Google search history (regardless of if you’re incognito); all of it will be no longer private and in the hands of someone who could use it to steal your identity, empty out your bank accounts, charge thousands of dollars worth of goods to your credit card, or expose every little strange thing you do on your computer that you thought no one would ever find out about, unless you pay their ransom.

Scary huh?

Also notice that those Get Famous recolours I made don’t say that they actually require Get Famous? Why is that a problem, you say? For most people it’s not, you see “Get Famous Recolours” and you automatically know you need Get Famous to use them, but what about people who are new to using CC and don’t know that for my recolours to work you need the pack they came from? Yeh, that’s a problem, because that particular download is one of those ones that leads straight to SimFileShare:

It leads directly to the merged file, which is NOT the only file available for download in that set, just the largest. But no one who finds my content on Simsdom will ever know that will they? Nor will they read the part of the download page that clearly states Get Famous is required to use the recolours.

I hear you saying “But adblockers are a thing”. Yes they are, but that doesn’t solve the issue of them linking straight to the file. And also, here’s what happens when you try to download something from Simsdom with an adblocker enabled:

You’re forced to wait 180 seconds before the download button appears. THREE WHOLE MINUTES in which you cannot move from that page or the counter will stop, and it will only restart when you go back to that page and stay there for the entire three minutes. Even Adfly isn’t that gross.

So, all of that isn’t enough to discourage you from using this vile site you say? Well, let me introduce you to the person/people who run the site. There are plenty of examples floating around Tumblr of how disrespectful, arrogant, immature, and disturbing the owner/s are (just search for “Simsdom” and you’ll see) but here’s just a few posts showing “receipts” of what happened to creators when they ask for their content to be removed from the site: Here, here, and here.

They have threatened to doxx several creators, tried to blackmail others, threatened to shut down some people’s sites, and even actually refused to remove people’s content unless they say “please”; as though these creators are six year old children who need to learn a lesson for not wanting THEIR content on someone else’s website!

All of this was said AFTER they made a post on their Tumblr saying they would respect creators wishes to not have their content on their site. I myself had a run-in with them as well but I don’t have the receipts because as soon as they finally agreed to remove my content (after almost 4 days of arguing with them and being threatened several times) they blocked me... and they continue to share my content to this day. That’s part of the reason why my motivation to create has been so low lately; I know its just going to end up over there, locked behind a paywall making money for these disgusting people and tricking simmers into thinking they have to pay to access my stuff.

But back to the story! Once they realised 99% of Tumblr creators — the people they get most of their content from — were going to ask to have their creations removed however, they changed their mind and instead started refusing to remove content. In fact, if you go to their website and use the contact form and choose the option “Remove my Content” they literally ask if you are Tumblr creator or not, and if you say you are, this is what you get:

And that “Our Rights here” link? That leads to this nonsense that literally contradicts itself with almost every single sentence:

“Creations can’t be uploaded without the creators permission... but we do not need permission to share your creations” “Feel free to contact us to ask to remove your content... but actually don’t bother contacting us asking to remove your content because we won’t” “SimsDomination is a free website... We don’t steal any content... *literally has other people’s free content locked behind a paywall and charges people membership fees to remove said paywall*”

And as for the EA terms part... I have news for you Simsdom, YOU are the only one breaking EA’s terms of use by putting content behind paywalls. I’m an EA Game Changer, I have actually read the terms of use AND spoken at length on the topics of earning revenue from CC, and why paywalls/memberships/exclusives are against EA’s terms of use with the Sim Gurus, have you? Didn’t think so.

If you had, you’d realise that we are allowed to earn revenue from our CC by having ads on our blogs/sites provided they aren’t deceptive — you know, like that ad with the big blue button you have that shows up on every single page of your site — and don’t lead to anything malicious, which yours do. I clicked several of the ads on your site and they all either lead to disgusting 18+ websites, started producing ransomware pop ups like I described earlier, or tried to download a mysterious file called setup.exe to my computer (which was most likely a trojan as well). We are also allowed to earn revenue via donations and Patreon early access systems provided the content is also made available for free to the general public within 14 days.

We are not, however, allowed to lock content behind Patreon exclusives, memberships and paywalls such as Adfly; which is exactly what you are doing. Like Adfly, you are not only potentially exposing underage children to 18+ content and risking the safety of people’s PCs, but you are also forcing them to wait to click a link and charging membership fees to avoid having to wait to download said content that isn’t even yours; content that you have been asked REPEATEDLY to remove. That is the very definition of a paywall. It is NOT the same as Pinterest or Facebook AT ALL, they might have ads but they aren’t malicious and they do not force people to wait to view content.

- UPDATE -

In reference to Simsdom’s response to this post, this is probably one of my most favourite Simsdom lies, because it never changes but it’s so easy to prove false! “Users don’t need to pay to download any content and don’t need to wait to download them” Oh really? Shall we take a look at your site on the old SimilarWeb that you love so much?

How strange. If you don’t make people wait, then why do you need adfly? And if no one has to pay, then why do you need premium memberships to get rid of the ads and wait time you don’t have? Odd.

Also, lets talk Adsense. I never said I had a problem with you having ads on your site; I said I had a problem with the TYPE of ads on your site. If you seriously don’t think your ads are in any way harmful, I’d suggest you take another look at your Adsense, because either it’s been hacked or you seriously don’t know what you’re doing. Oh, but that’s right, “Google will never display suspicious ADs“... Mmm hmm, you just go right on believe that. Yeh, it’s definitely not possible for Google to be hacked... Nope, definitely not.

Also, if you use your Adsense revenue to pay for your site.... what happens to the extra? Because based on your SimilarWeb page I can take a rough guess at how much you earn every month through Adsense alone and there’s no way your site costs that much to run. For that matter, where does all the extra revenue from Adfly, Short.st and this mysterious “other” go? And all the revenue you get from your premium subscriptions that you totally don’t charge people money for?...

Is that fish I smell?

You are not doing anyone any favours here, so stop pretending that you’re in this for anything other than money. Stop sharing content you’ve been asked REPEATEDLY to remove/not share and breaking EA’s and many creators TOUs!

If you’ve managed to make it this far, congrats lol I know this has been long and probably boring but thank you for taking the time to read the whole thing. All this post was meant to do was explain why people should not support Simsdom, and why I’m so disappointed in other Game Changers for promoting it, but it kind of got away from me a little.

Oh well, now you know what Simsdom is and why I will NEVER support them or willingly allow my content to be shared on their site. And if you do decide to still use their site, just... please be careful. My content will always be free and safe to download, just like the majority or CC creators here on Tumblr. Don’t pay for something you can get for free from the original source.

Also, if you’re looking for a Lana replacement (aka a good CC finds blogs that isn’t shady af like Simsdom) check out @maxismatchccworld!

- UPDATE -

This isn’t in relation to anything specific, just the situation as a whole. It seems Simsdom has just removed the search box from their website completely:

I’m sure it was totally legit reasons and not at all because they didn’t want anyone searching for their own content on the Simsdom website. Just like it wasn’t for that reason the last time too...

#VERY IMPORTANT #DownWithSimsdom #Boycott Simsdom

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moonbelt · 6 years ago

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»worth the wait

↳ soulmates au | somewhat bootleg coffeeshop au

pairing » jeon jungkook | reader

genre » soft angst + fluff + sexual themes

word count » 9.280

» on Earth V12 everyone is born with half of their emotions – the other half is safely kept within the soul of their soulmate. however, its been a few wee years and it’s safe to say that you don’t have one. or at least you dont think so. but the universe cant possibly hate you so much as to leave you without your emotions for the rest of your life, or can it?

authors note » yeah yeah, it’s been a while. but soulmate aus are literally the only thing that give me joy and hope about love so.... hope you enjoy it!

The doctor at the local health clinic tells you that there's no use in holding out for a soulmate. Giving up is the best way to ensure less heartbreak, she diagnosed. It’s much better that way.

You've already passed the age criteria to find one, she said. Typically, a year or two after nineteen is the maximum time it takes for you to find the one, she'd told you with a tone of neutral candor. Your doctor probably felt sad – pitiful almost, at that fact. But she was careful to not let it show. That although there was nothing biologically wrong with you, the hard-cold truth remains that you can't feel what she does, what other seven billion people in the world feel — emotions. Or at least a subset of them.

To emote, you believe, is a privilege that not everyone receives. However, history and biology books taught you, just like it did to everyone else on Earth V12, that once you came of age you earn that right. That once the universe believes you've merited it, you get to experience the wild, wide and boisterous range of emotions.

You've read about it. Oh, how much you've read. Huddled and bundled up in thousands of blankets on the window seat in your bedroom back at your family home. Even now in university, in between study breaks and long hours of researching on metaphysics. You read to feel but you don't know exactly what you should be feeling. You read to understand, to know the differences between being sad and being upset. Am I sad that the Universe has decided I'm not worthy of a soulmate? Or am I upset that I believe I need a soulmate to begin with? You don't know. Like a thousand other things that simply just do not make any sense.

They told you not to worry. After all, everyone has a soulmate. It's unfathomable to believe otherwise. That's just the way things are. The way things have always been. The beginning and the end.

You watched, a little wide-eyed, disoriented and mystified as your closest friend and associate, Taehyung, became a different person in the five seconds after he met his soulmate, Eden. It was like a dam had been bust open right before your very eyes. It's a little hard to explain, even now that it's been a couple of years, you'd never quite seen anything like it.

The books say that eons ago gods, back in the time when they walked amongst us, granted wishes. But they also took gifts away. And one day when a fight broke out between two demigod children which resulted in one of them dying, the Sun god came down from his place on high and decided with a few other gods that the human emotions within us — the ones that spark hate and contempt and love and weakness — were to blame. Emotions, the god argued, did not play into reasoning or knowledge. And hence they needed to be earned back. Or at the very least, we needed to recognize their value.

But he couldn't just hoist billions worth of people's emotions into thin air. Instead, what he stripped from one he placed in another. The very essence of soulmates. By splitting the emotions people carry and making them search for The One with their other half, the god decreed that he had made the most beautiful creation. The Sun god ruled this as a magnificent feat, tooting his own horn about his generosity to break humans apart.

To take something apart and then put it back together again, just as you found it — perfect in all its nature, is something you long for. Something you yearn to understand. How is it possible to place jagged pieces back together and get something so phenomenal in return? To get something whole?

To experience Love the way the novels and books you devour describe it. To feel that Sadness that can cause people to cry rivers. You want to know this whole other world that everyone seems to get but you. You have Apathy — loads of it. You understand what it's like to be Disinterested; very much so. Frightened and Scared, you know. However, Hope and Serenity, you do not.

It's a struggle because it makes you insensitive. You simply can't understand what others are going through if you've never had an inkling to what they feel. And you have no idea what to say to comfort them because everything you say comes out wrong, everything you try to emote comes out forced and makes you feel like a bad liar.

"I just don't get why anyone would do that, you know?" Taehyung sighs loudly and over-dramatically before he takes a sip of his macchiato. "Like I hate when people take my stuff without asking. It makes me absolutely livid."

Eden nods in agreement. "It's the principle of the thing."

"Exactly!" Taehyung cries out in joy of being understood. Of being related to. "I swear I can't wait to move out and get a place with you. Everyone in that frat drives me up the fucking wall."

An odd third-wheel is what you feel like. So out of place next to your friends that you've known for years. You don't quite get why Taehyung is so mad at his frat brothers for borrowing his stuff, typically if he told them not to, they wouldn't. That's just how communication works. But nah, Taehyung is livid. And Eden agrees. He’s been livid before too.

"You could always tell your roommate to not touch your stuff," you say, interrupting Eden and Taehyung as they throw around other instances when people took their shit without asking. "I would do that."

Taehyung rolls his eyes, not in a condescending way like the other people in your university, but it still very much rubs your spine the wrong way. "The thing is; I have told him. Repeatedly. He’s got like, I don’t know, cement filled in his ears or something. He never listens."

Every soulmate pair is different in their mannerisms and the way they flow into each other. For Taehyung and Eden, it's like they complement each other and always have to add on to what the other says. Like a sign that they are there, and they've got their back. You guess it's adorable, in the same way little cats pawing at your ankles is adorable.

"It's like common decency," Eden tries to explain, his mop of ashy-white hair haunting over his eyes. "People generally just don't like other people touching their shit without permission."

And see, this is where your problem lies. You understand the principle of the act; you understand why someone would get theoretically mad at it. It's an inconvenience at best and rude at worst. But is it worth getting absolutely angry over? You're not sure. You're not even sure how someone can get angry with it. That's the big distinction between the people with soulmates and the people without.

Taehyung looks at you with pity swimming in his light brown irises and smiles. But it's without humor, without the type of light he reserves for Eden, without feeling. "Oh, you just don't understand."

There was a time when you understood your friend and he understood you. There was a time that both of you scoffed at the imperfections of the soulmate enigmatic system. And for a moment it leaves you in a state of disarray with how far he has evolved from you. How different the two of you have become.

You spend the rest of the hour focused on your hot chocolate and reading your Mythology and Folklores That Absolutely, Factually, Most-Definitely Happened book. You leave Eden and Taehyung to discuss whatever it is they discuss about. You so clearly can't simply understand what they go through, it makes no sense to dawdle in their conversations then.

It's the last week before the university closes for winter break but the snow has been piling up for months now. Hanging out at cafes felt like a good idea at the time, what's not to like about baked goods and the smell of heady caffeine? But now you wish you'd never come at all. Or at the very least, that you'd come alone.

So, when Taehyung and Eden start packing up – they have work to get to – you don't budge. You look them in the eye and tell them that spending a few more hours in the cafe sounds like something you're craving. It's been a while since you left your apartment for something other than school and volunteering.

Taehyung scrunches his nose and pouts his lips. "You're coming out to the party tonight though, right? It's the last one before break and it's time you had some fun. Today is your birthday, after all. Maybe you'll find—"

Before he can finish that sentence, you force a grin onto your face and a pep into your voice to try and drag him off that course. You're desperately tired of remembering your own birthday. Nothing good ever comes out of it. And you doubt the ripe old age of twenty-one would do anything different. "Don't worry, I'll be there. Your fraternity is the one hosting, yes?"

He nods his head as he slings his messenger bag across his shoulder. "Yeah. Don't be late, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you guys then." You long for them to go already and leave you to your lonesome. You have a very interesting book to get back to. "Bye Eden, have fun in the studio." You wave them off on their way out and hope to the gods that they do not drag this outing any longer.

Once they are gone and the chatter around you falls into a nice subliminal background noise, you peel open the pages of the myth and folklore book and begin to read again.

Ah, yes, the Sun god. The creator of soulmates and the one that cursed all humanity. You wonder now if the god regrets his decision. What about the people like you? The ones that seemingly never find that other half. Are you just supposed to swagger through life with one leg oddly bent? Did the god merely not give a flying crow-shit? How come it was so easy for Eden and Taehyung to find each other whereas it's become exponentially hard for you? Are you not worthy of your own emotions? Are you not worthy to experience that all-encompassing love? Is it simply just an haute club that you could never even dream of barging into?

You sigh and lean back in your chair. The book gives you more questions than it does answers. In fact, it barely gives you any solutions. All it does is relay what happened ages upon ages ago in hopes you will understand. But you don't. These days it feels like you don't understand a thing.

You were meant to have found your half exactly three years ago and nothing of that sort has even thought of happening. Sometimes you feel little bursts, like your half was feeling so much intense emotions that it filtered through the cracks into your side. But nothing to write home about. It leaves you with a lingering sense of hoping for something… more.

Maybe it's because you're not paying attention — after all, you're too busy lamenting on your disproportionate life — that you don't notice the chime of the bell as the café door is pulled open. You don't notice the swells of oohs and ahhs that erupt from the shops teenage companions like they've witnessed the second coming of a god, or better yet some YouStreamer.

You do not notice the slow, creeping feeling of madness that is seeping into your bones. No, you could never notice that when it feels one and a part of you. You don't notice anything really, not until a voice above you lets out a sound of admiration and awe all laced into one exhale.

"Oh," the voice says. "That's a good book."

Your body isn't made to be twisted around but you do it anyway. Testing the limits of how far it will go. And when you crash into deep, soulful brown eyes that look to you like they hold all of the world's greatest mysteries, you freeze. And even though you know time is a theoretical construct and there's no way to actually stop the passing of it, you believe that in this tiny secluded café, time with all its boundaries, halts.

Academically, you know this isn't true. The world still turns, and as much as you wish it, it does not revolve around you. The snow still falls softly to the ground outside, the graceful music pumping through the coffeeshop's stereo is still playing. Nothing truly stops, but something inside of you does.

It takes all you can give to break forth from the haze cast upon you to speak. Speak, dammit! But you're in awe, mesmerized by a sight you've never sensed so well before. You've met countless people, some conventionally attractive, others more idiosyncratically beautiful but none have made you feel like this.

Taehyung describes attraction as something that is either there or it is not. The books describe attraction as a feeling that can make you desire somebody. You've never felt attraction, not like this. You've felt the vague need to be intimate with another but never like this. Like you crave something – someone – you don’t even know.

The person is tall with hard, crystal cut angles and visible confidence. It's with the way he holds himself like he knows his place in the world. Like he never has to question it. It draws you in. Makes you examine him thoroughly from the tip of his fluffy black hair to the heel of his patent leather boots.

He cocks an eyebrow and for a shy of a second, you are highly embarrassed by the fact that you've spent gods-knows how many moments just ogling him. You never ogle. You've quite literally never ogled in your life… until now that is.

You clear your throat and attempt to come off as blasé. Which is hard considering the awkward positioning of your body and the rigorous pounding of your heart in its cage. "It's not a good book. It's a great one. Probably why I read it so much."

"Debating the existence of the old gods, are we?" His voice is laced intrinsically with mirth and amusement.

"More like debating the existence of my life, really."

He chuckles, a sound that fills all the jagged crevices of your soul and body. He moves and you do the same, shifting from your oddly angled position to look at him better. You don't really know how to explain it, this feeling coursing through your veins. Like you know everything there is to know about him, even though you clearly have never met him before.

You clear your throat and will your mind to stop. This is honestly atrocious, outrageous and, frankly disconcerting. It feels like some random spaz has possessed your body and is making you mewl and purr like some damn cat on the street.

"I'm Jungkook, by the way," he finally says when you find the courage to look back up at him. You respond with your name, pronouncing the syllables clear enough so that he doesn't mess it up. But he gets it. And then he tries the name aloud, twisting it around on his tongue. "It is a good day to question our existence, isn't it, __?"

You smile up at him, a different smile from the one you gave Taehyung and Eden earlier. This one comes easily, and it tilts the corners of your lips without feeling faux and fraud-like. You don't even have to try.

"Depends," you say. "Do you consider a cold as shit day in the middle of Winter to be a good day?"

The tips of his lips upturn into an uncanny lopsided grin. One that feels like he's withholding more than he lets on. "A little."

The line in front of him moves and you find yourself watching the way his body propels forward almost gracefully to order a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and extra salted caramel drizzle. It's then that you turn your head back to your table and busy yourself with fiddling with your fingers.

You feel something nudging your chest as if begging you to listen for a hiss in the wind – of a window or door being carefully opened. But you push that away. You have no idea what it means. And now, you're too busy focused with reeling your cheeks back to a substandard level of hot. You're not sure why basic communication with this dude has you channeling the same emotes as one of the schoolgirl children in the movies you watched when you were younger. You're an adult for seven heaven's sake. You are better than this!

Your cheeks and your ears do not agree. Instead, they inflame themselves hotter than ever. What is it about Jungkook that has you willing to sell a piece of your soul just to talk to him? You've never felt like this. Like nothing you say could surprise him, mind the fact that you just met him.

This time you are aware when he strides over to the seat that had Taehyung had previously occupied. You look up at him, into those deep russet eyes that hold flecks of something so beautiful and then you feel it. The magnetic pull of someone enigmatic. Someone that holds simply more. Maybe not for others, but to you.

His backpack loosens around his shoulders and his veiny hands clutch the Styrofoam cup with an ardent need as he speaks. "Would you mind if I sit here?"

Normally you would be repulsed by the question. What would ever possess someone that you don't know to act so familiar? But you don’t think as you motion for him to take it. After all, it wouldn’t feel right to just send him away. There’s a thin thread tangling and stretching between the two of you and you would be damned if you cut it on your own accord.

Jungkook finds himself lowering his body nimbly into the chair in front of you. And then you find yourself discussing more with Jungkook than you’ve spoken with anyone else in years. It feels relaxing — freeing. But also like a cruel joke from the Sun god. Here’s someone that makes you feel somewhat whole but there’s no indication that the two of you are even meant to be. How sad.

He talks as if his mind has no filters; effortlessly switching between topics. Do you play any sports? Piano is about as rigorous an exercise as you can handle and Jungkook laughs as he tells you that he’s Vice-Captain of the Baseball team, although now they’re not participating in any tournaments. The air in your lungs turns frigid when you ask if he attends the same university as you and then the air is goddamn stolen from your lungs when he responds with a yes.

“No way,” you cry. “I would have seen you on campus.”

Jungkook sends you a lazy grin. “You would’ve but I doubt you take your head out of your books often.”

You concede. “Okay… maybe a little. But still, isn’t our school defending champions or something? I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of the team doing well before, just not you in particular.”

“Ah, I get it. I’m not popular enough.” He jokes. “Perhaps I need to print out a flyer of my face and paste it around school?”

“That’d be fun. There’s no way I’d miss you then.”

He laughs, a loud sound that expands the more seconds pass. He laughs as though you’re the funniest person in the room, which you doubt. But you laugh along too.

“So, what do you do for fun?” Jungkook asks.

“Other than the obvious reading and playing the piano?” You tilt your head to the side and scratch the nape of your neck before you continue on. “Well, I’m studying Metaphysics and researching the fundamentals of soulmates. Why some find theirs and why others don’t.”

“That’s fun?”

You shrug, a small smile playing on your lips, but you refuse to apologize for your interests. “To me. I guess it just helps me understand.”

Jungkook seems to soak in your answer, his eyes drifting from your eyes to the top of your head, down to your gray turtleneck and glitzy star-shaped earrings. And you take your time to truly examine his face. How perfectly in line his nose is with the rest of his bone structure. How perfectly his jaw and cheekbones accentuate his physical beauty. And how for some reason he reminds you of what you believe the children of gods looked back when demigods were a thing. His face makes you think regal and heavenly all at once.

“What’s your theory?” Jungkook finally breaks you out of your ogle match.

“My what?”

“Theory,” he repeats. “On why some find their other half and others don’t.”

You bite your lip. Not sure if what you say might offend him. There’s no sign that he has found his soulmate or not and you don’t want to be increasingly insensitive. You do not want to hear another ‘Oh, you just don’t understand.’ Especially not out of his lips. You reckon you won’t be able to bear it. At least not today.

“It’s simple, I guess. It all boils down to has the person merited it? Earned it? The Sun god split us apart because he believed we needed to find the value in our feelings. I guess the ones without soulmates simply haven’t attained that understanding yet.”

Jungkook frowns and your heart thrusts itself into a deep panic. See, now you’ve gone and done it. This is why you hate talking, hate speaking. You ruin people’s moods (much like you do your own) without a second thought and honestly, now that you think about it. This must be why you have yet to find your one. You barely understand the emotions you do have; how can you possibly comprehend others?

After a minute or maybe three, Jungkook takes a big sip out of his drink before he focuses his attention back on you and you feel yourself burning. A light excavating through the muggy mess that is your mind.

“Have you merited it? The other half of your feelings, I mean.”

Is he asking you if you’ve found your soulmate?

“No. Not yet.”

“Oh.” Is all he says but you hear the unsaid meanings. “Personally, I think the god did something terrible by rupturing us apart. What good has it really done anyone?”

You don’t answer. Not only because you don’t have a good response but also because the topic of soulmates has you on edge already. Someone like Jungkook obviously has all his emotions and has found his half, you think. You doubt the two of you are even on the same wavelength on the matter. So, instead of answering you change the direction of the conversation to him and his collegiate baseball career.

And everything after that clusters into a ball of yeses. When he asks you for your number, when he asks you if you’ve heard of Beta Tau Sigma, and subsequently when he invites you to Beta Tau Sigma’s end of the year party later today even though you already promised Taehyung you’d be there.

Suddenly, you wonder if Jungkook and Taehyung are friends, you guess they should be since they are frat brothers, but he never mentioned his name before. So now you wonder if Taehyung has separate friendship circles for those with and without soulmates. You don’t get mad or angry at the thought. But your mood dampens anyway.

“Wanna know what I think?” Jungkook speaks up just as the two of you are packing your stuff from the table. He doesn’t wait for you to say yes; he presses on almost immediately. “There’s no time limit on soulmates. And to believe so is to believe there’s a time limit on life itself. Our whole lives we’ve been told that the old gods exist and that the old gods did this and that and blah, blah, blah. But then they tell us that if we don’t find our other half by eighteen, better yet seventeen, there’s something wrong with us?”

Jungkook laughs but there’s not a shred of sparkle in it. “Us… the people born out of the happenings of gods? Okay, riddle me this. If we are so clinically incapable of finding our soulmates, then why do we long for them anyways? Why would there be pieces of my very soul that feel so incomplete?”

You’re dumbstruck by him. And again, you feel the little tilt in the wind that sounds to your ears like someone is knocking on a door that you can't see. But this time even though you do not have an answer for him, you force yourself to spit something out.

“If I were to find my soulmate this very second, I’d believe you.”

He smiles down at you, the one where his eyes fold into deep crescent moons and again you think that he’s holding out on you. Holding onto a secret that only he knows. “Won't that be amazing.”

The day goes by without you paying attention to much else. You meet with your philosophy professor on the advancement of your thesis paper even though you have no idea what you want to base the paper on. Almost every relation between soulmates and reality has been explored and at times you find that your professor and you clash on too many issues. You grunt through the meeting, walking on thousands of eggshells before you finally head back to your apartment but once you put your feet up on the couch, you get a text from Taehyung.

TAE » Remember, you promised!!

You » ...

TAE » Don't tell me you've forgotten Beta Tau's party slash your birthday bash? You promised!!! People might start thinking I made you up L

Although you know deep in the deepest crevice of your heart that Taehyung doesn’t mean anything harmful by his statement, it makes you squeamish.

You » What's that supposed to mean? Now I'm the token soulmate-less? Bragging about all my deficiencies to your fraternity brothers that I've never met? Be my guest.

TAE » Oh fuck. You know that's not what I meant __. I'd never do that. I didn't mean for it to come off that way.

But it did.

And you’re not sure where this surge of despondency is coming from. Almost like a switch in your psyche has been flipped. Some part of you acknowledges that earlier today, you would not have read that message as anything but harmless. But the situation has changed. It’s like your body is thrumming with unshed resentment. Resentment at who? You don’t know but Taehyung seems to be on the receiving end of it.

It’s this feeling of deep antipathy that propels you into getting dressed for the damn party. Not the fact that it is your birthday, not the fact that there is a slight possibility of finding your soulmate at the wretched place. No. You get dressed because there would be free booze and people stupid enough to pick a fight with you in your current state. Well, maybe not a real fight. But there’s a thrumming in your veins and you don’t know how to curb it. You’ve never felt anything akin to it before. Oh, and maybe the small huge chance that you’ll see Jungkook again.

By the time you get to the Beta Tau Sigma house lined up on Greek Row you are quite literally ready to burst at the seams. The weather is cold as fucking shit and although it stopped lightly snowing, the breeze has you tightening your hold on your navy jacket. What is up with everyone today and being a major dick to you? First, it was your professor, and then it was your neighbor that stopped you on your way out of your apartment to pity the fact that you hadn’t found someone on your twenty-first birthday.

Fuck off, you almost screamed at her. Leave me the fuck alone and go shag your boyfriend in the back of his termite-ridden Honda!

But you’d smiled through it, bearing the stinging of your cheeks as you stretched them past your limit and fisted your palms so hard that you created crescent shapes into your flesh.

And gods, you’re tired of smiling through it. Tired of being told that you’re not allowed to feel anything other than your predisposed emotes. Exhausted with having to always be passive. Nothing is supposed to hurt you. At least not emotionally. But you feel a swelling in your chest like your heart is about ten beats away from finally asphyxiating itself.

You push through the frat house and find Taehyung almost immediately. And you watch with a hint of simmering hatred as he cracks joke after joke and his brothers and friends laugh and you feel more and more isolated between their world and yours. And then the hatred comes to a boiling point when you catch two lovebirds giggling and making out on the sofa next your foot.

You blink and blink and blink again. Coming here was a bad idea. To be surrounded so much by the one thing you desperately want but can't have. The irritation and animosity that’s been brewing within you transforms into something more solemn. Dimming itself down to a feeling of major disappointment. At yourself, at the world, at the cursed Sun god.

The second you're about to pivot the fuck out of there, a pair of eyes to the side of the room fixes on you and you are stunned into a halt.

His eyes say a thousand things at once and you hear it deep in your soul. His eyes rake over your entire body as if looking for the source of your imminent distress but when he comes up short, his pretty lips squeeze together and form words that you suddenly want to be etched onto your very being.

“You okay?”

No one – and you mean this without irony – has ever asked you that in all seriousness. Not your parents, not your friends, and certainly not you. Your parents try, you guess, they know how hard it is to not have a soulmate, but they found each other early and never had to question themselves. Never had to question the essence of their souls.

And that’s when you feel it; a quiver in your lips. You open your mouth in an attempt to say something – anything – but nothing comes out and you close it, only to repeat the motion with no improvement.

Jungkook crosses the room in long strides and before you know it, he is everywhere around you. All black. Black tee-shirt, black cargo pants, black sneakers. You didn’t realize how big he was before but now that you have, you can un-see it. Lean and lithe but strong and sturdy. A walking contradiction. Especially with the light shining from his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks as he puts his hands on your shoulders and centers you.

You hate, absolutely despise, how watery your voice sounds when you say “Nothing. This party is just so lame that I’m feeling a little off.”

The both of you know how bad your lie is but for some reason, he rolls with it. “Yeah? I was thinking the same thing actually. This has to be the worst thing Tae has ever put on and to think he said it’s supposed to be a birthday party. I could do much better.”

And now you feel utterly terrible. You’d been so ready to rip Taehyung a new one, assumed his prejudice against you for what? Awful. You’re so awful as a person that of course, you haven’t earned the right to find the other half of your emotions. Of-fucking-course.

You’ve never felt so out of your own body before. Who is this impostor that has possessed you and when can you get your body and appropriate feelings back? You need it back before you completely annihilate all your relationships.

“I’m sorry. I don’t usually act like this.”

“Why are you sorry?” He seems genuinely confused.

“I… You probably wanted to have fun with your brothers and all. And here I am just – “

Jungkook squeezes your shoulders hard which forces you to raise your attention from staring at your shoes to gazing at his face. It’s a much-needed distraction from the wobble in your voice and the feeling of cotton in your throat.

“You need some fresh air?” He poses his statement as a question, but you don’t really have a choice in the matter anyway because he slides his warm fingers into yours and although you feel a momentous spark, you let him drag you through the house.

Taehyung notices you then and begins to rush towards you. Perhaps he’s glad that you still came out tonight even though you had a fight with him earlier. Perhaps he’s relieved that you don’t utterly hate him. But you attempt to give him a watery smile that is both apologetic and reassuring, but his eyes fly down to you and Jungkook’s conjoined hands and he pauses.

And it’s not the smile he usually gives you. No. This one closely resembles the ones he reserves for Eden. Like maybe you’ve found your sanctuary. Maybe you’ve come to finally understand.

You scoff at the thought just as Jungkook snatches two Margarita cans from a cooler and pulls you up the stairs and through a hallway that leads to a balcony. When you're outside, he motions for you to take a seat on one of few white benches. Without saying a word, he passes a can to you. You clasp the cold drink between your fingers and revel in the iciness sipping through your flesh.

You've never experienced this feeling of tranquility meshed with a creeping sense of foolhardiness with another person in your life. And you're struggling with how to process it.

“Wanna talk about it?” Jungkook finally breaks the silence, sitting right beside you. The warmth emanating from his body warms you down to your toes and you revel in it.

No. Yes. Fuck. “I don’t know. I’m just being stupid, and it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“I know you're not stupid and it does matter. It matters a lot.”

Great, you think. One more person in the grand universe that you're destined to disappoint. You sigh and stare out at the starless sky. You always hold your feelings in check and rigorously work to not let the few emotions you do have to get the best of you. To not cloud your judgment. But during the course of this whole day, you’ve felt like you're on a ledge. On the precipice between falling and drowning. Like your mind is waging a war against itself.

You are not a crybaby. But even as you think this, you feel wetness at your eyeballs and a stinging in your cheeks, and you blink and blink to try and push it away. But it feels like your body is burning with never before experienced sensations and it scares you. You open your mouth and the choking feeling from before returns, it muddles everything else and you panic. You refuse to cry in front of Jungkook. Not now when you feel so downright weak.

“P-pieces of my –” Against your will your voice cracks. “Pieces of my very soul are so incomplete.”

The corners of your eyes fill up more with tears that you desperately do not want to shed. And it takes everything in you to not raise your hand to swipe the madness away.

Stop! Stop, goddammit! Stop this very instant! You’re above this. Better than this. You didn’t cry when the doctor told you that there was nothing biologically wrong with you, you didn’t cry when your group friends slowly diminished as they found oneness with their partners and others more attuned to them. You didn't cry then, so why are you on the verge of it now of all times and days?

And even though you're trying your damn hardest to not have a full-on breakdown, you feel your body heave and then sniffle. Gods this is so embarrassing. You turn your face away from the sky and instead focus it on the cold can in between your fingers.

You pushed away your feelings until they were stuffed in the darkest parts of your mind and now it seems, they are breaking out without a care in the world about the consequences.

“Remember I told you that my theory has to do with some of us earning the privilege of someone else? I haven't earned it. Heck, I haven't earned anything. I'm passive. I try not to be but investing myself into others has never worked in my favor. All the emotions I do have feel so negative that when I'm around people I can't help but not connect. Because I don't understand half of what they are saying or feeling, and I hate it. I hate it so much.”

You're a piece of work, __, your ex-partners had said. You've dated around before; scavenging for love in uncanny, dim places with people destined to be with others until they finally realized that you were not theirs.

Because everyone eventually did. Realize the oddity of not being empathic. There's something defective about you. You can't seem to find anyone willing to be around you for two weeks talk less of forever. But everyone you'd been with magically happened to find theirs. The stars seem to gravitate away from you like you exude such a power that is so repulsive.

And it hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Like hot coal sliding down your spine and marring flesh. But you can't stop your mouth from speaking, the words tearing the edges of your lips with each choked up sound you exhale. "A part of me doesn't care if I don't have a soulmate, I mean, my life shouldn't be dictated by whether or not I have someone tied to my arm. But the other half of me desperately wants it. I get this ridiculous chasm of sadness when I think about every emotion that I can't experience because I'm not worth it. I've never been worth it."

Your throat is burning. Your eyes are burning. Every part of your body is aching madly but Jungkook doesn't say a thing. Your chest begins the act of carving in on itself and if you didn't know any better you would reckon that your heart is cracking into two halves.

Gods, this is pathetic. You feel so pathetic. All your life you've never felt like the world had conspired against you until this very moment. Like the Sun god had taken a special hatred on you and dumped all these folds of resentment into your soul. You wanted to claw it out.

And for some reason you will never understand, you keep going. As if the cracking of your voice and the upheaval of your shoulders wasn't enough, actual tears started to slip and slide down your cheeks.

“Why the fuck does our society bank on soulmates anyways? What's so great about them that everyone acts like if you don't have one you've been done a great disservice? Why me?" A whole bunch of unfiltered anger bursts inside you and propels you from the bench and a graver sniff infiltrates your voice. "Seven billion people on Earth V12 and you would think that I would be able to find someone in this mess of a world but no. I've wasted twenty-one years of my life without knowing anything. Without feeling anything. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. I want to feel something. Anything. I'm tired of being like –”

Oh, seven hells, you feel like you are dying. Decomposing to dust on the balcony of a fraternity house in the middle of winter in your favorite jeans and so-so high-tops.

It feels like every section of your body is withering away. Rotting. Falling apart and there's nothing you can do to stop the trajectory. Tears pool beneath your chin before they cascade into the neck of your shirt. Your lips quiver so badly you're afraid they might never be the same. If this is what sorrow feels like you hope you never experience it again. It makes you feel gutted.

Your vision becomes so blurry that you can barely make out the dark sky in front of you. Can barely even think. And try as you might, the tears just keep rolling.

You’re not sure of when Jungkook stands up but you feel him wrap his arms around you – tentatively, all-encompassing and fully, and rest his chin on the side of your head. He doesn’t say a word, and maybe it’s because he doesn’t need to. You feel him. The budge on the window sill that leads to your soul. You feel him there. But you want him to let go. There are certain things you acutely feel like you do not deserve, and he is one of them.

“Let me go,” your voice sounds like two trains grinding against each other and it makes you pull away from his embrace. But Jungkook’s arms stretch around your torso.

“No.” Is the soft reply that weighs on your ears. His body is warmer than you want it to be because it's making you feel at home.

“I –”

“It’s okay. You can let it out.” In some kind of way, he feels even closer than before. Like he's impressing himself into your lungs. Like he's giving you the very air that you so desperately need to breathe. Like he's forcing you to bloom and he doesn't care if he has to be the one that solely weeds away at all the nonsensicalities in your chest to make sure it happens.

And maybe some part of him just knows that a part of you is desperate to run away from the unknown because he hugs you harder, tighter, and firmer. So much so that now you can't breathe for different reasons. You don’t know what to do so you let him.

“You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. Not me, not the gods… no one. And –” You make a move to interrupt him but Jungkook cuts himself off. “Do you feel it?” He asks with his torso pressed against yours and your heart syncing along with his.

“Feel what?” You croak out.

“I can't explain it, that’s why I need you to feel it. It’s every around us you have to, I don’t know, listen.”

You don’t want to, but you do it. You squeeze your eyes shut and wrap your fingers around the Jungkook’s shirt and wait. You wait for the madness in your mind to calm down. You wait for the apprehension in your heart to subside. But nothing happens and you feel worse than before.

“Jungkook,” you start.

“Don’t.” You swear you hear a slight tear in his voice. “Just listen.”

Listen, he says, but what are you even listening for? Here you are, miserable than ever and being told to listen. To the universe? Or listen for that goddamn hiss in the wind again? But all you hear is the sniffles that your chest is releasing and the slight exhale of Jungkook’s hot breath against your cheek. And you don’t know how to explain it. But it is then when you are doubtful and least expect to hear – talk less of feeling anything, that you identify it.

And it’s a beautiful thing. Like two halves of a comet melding into each other to crest a dynamic explosion into your very being. Something that lifts the burden weighing down on your heart and helps you to finally breathe. Breathing in through your nose feels better. Feels easier.

The thread you’d felt before in your mind that had been so tangled and messed up that you could barely discern what it was suddenly fizzled, expanded and stretched out and when you feel for the force at the other end of the cord and come in contact with an aura that reminds you so much of the person in front of you, you are shocked. Better yet, surprised.

You don’t know to explain it. Heck, you’ve never experienced such a colorful array of emotions in your life that for a minute or maybe three, it leaves you dazed and disoriented. It feels like your body is in a vacuum and is receiving dangerous sensations at the speed of light.

It’s burning. Oh, how it's burning. It’s burning through every fiber of your existence but unlike before, this burn doesn’t make you want to choke up and die. Instead, it revitalizes you.

“Do you feel it?” Jungkook asks again.

This time you have an answer that you don’t have to scour for.

“I feel it. I feel it so much. I feel it everywhere. I –” you don’t know whether to cry even harder or laugh at the oddity of the situation and that leaves you in an awkward limbo of both. “Oh, gods. It’s you.”

All the haphazard sensations you’ve been feeling all day. The anger – no lividness –at your neighbor, the overwhelming sadness, the uncharted pettiness at Taehyung with a bare minimum reason to be. It all finally starts to make sense. Everything – or at least, all of that – happened after you’d met him. After you’d been exposed to someone akin to a livewire.

This is nothing like the books said. You’d gone your whole life thinking, believing, that when you met your other half, you’d instantaneously know. Like the skies would crack open and some kind of bell would resound. Now you realize how ridiculously absurd that would be, but it had made sense at the time.

Words lose their meaning in an effort to explain what you feel. Your body is being put back together again. Pieces that you hadn’t realized were even missing suddenly fit into each other. You welcome the tingling in your veins and instead of ignoring the sparks igniting beneath your bones, you embrace it. And oh, it is magnificent.

In this loud, beer-infested fraternity house with slovenly college students pushing against each other downstairs and on the day you turn a striking twenty-one, you find someone that the history and biology and mythology books could have never predicted.

Jungkook’s voice is much softer than before. Is that possible? But it is. And he holds you tighter, holding you like you’re unbreakable.

“To me, you're the moon, the sun – the whole fucking galaxy. I’ve always known you existed, and I’ve waited to find you for a long time. I carried your half with me for so long, how could I not? In the depths of my mind and when I really concentrated about it, I could feel you. Somewhere close but sometimes distant. I held out for you… always. So, you’ll forever be worth it. And you don’t need to earn me, you already have me. You’ve always had me.”

The stain of his words etches itself onto your soul and becomes a part and parcel of you. They quiet the chatter of your heart and bring subliminal teardrops to the crooks of your eyes but this time you don’t mind it. How could you ever mind it?

“So, you’ve always known then?” You don’t sniffle or sob and your voice doesn’t pathetically crack. Instead, you maneuver your face away from his chest so you can see his eyes. In the process, your bodies disentangle and you miss his warmth but this is really happening. And you’re desperate.

He smiles. It's blinding in its glory and it blitzes straight into your core. “Always. It's destiny; you and me.”

You and him. Him and you. You like the sound of that.

“Even though we had to wait for so long.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes like he’s tired of you thinking about time as some enormous continuum rather than the now. “We have the rest of our lives to be together. I don’t think knowing you a bit earlier would change that. It is what it is. And even if I had to wait five years, fuck, even ten. I wouldn’t give up. Not on you, __. Not on my other half.” He spits the last words out so vehemently you don’t have the audacity to doubt it. “What we have is more sacred than anything in the world. I’d be stupid to let that go without trying.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“And you’re not unloved by anyone in this world so stop thinking that.”

“I was not –”

He sends you an exasperated look, one that you immediately identify because the bond the two of you have defies all logic. One that says that he knows you. He knows that the tears that sprung to your eyes earlier were not simply because you were overwhelmed by everything in the universe but also because you felt like you had lucked out of the love train. Watching your friends find havens with their other halves and seeing that couple giggle on the couch like it was the end of high school all over again, it made you feel desolate. And Jungkook felt that. Somehow in some way, he knew.

“I love you. I’ve only met you and I know that much. So, what about your friends? Your family? They love you too albeit in different ways than what I'm feeling. But no matter how much the Sun god split us apart, I, you – we – have always known that we were made for each other. So, yes. I love you.”

You’re pretty sure your mind all but blows up into a tiny clusterfuck of a mass because you can’t even hear what Jungkook says next. You’re hyper fixated on what he had just said. He loves you? How does he even know that? What was this? Had your brain and ears finally imploded on themselves? Was this alternate reality?

“Do you need me to repeat it?”

What? Huh? What?

“I don’t know what to call it. Maybe love at first sight?” He carries on like you’re not having a self-induced heart attack right before his eyes. “Never believed in that before but then I saw you and gods, you’re the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. I sure hope when you saw me it was the same because I have no idea how to describe what you do to me.”

But you understand what he’s saying because you did feel it. You felt so much when you first looked at him and you still feel it now.

“Like everything suddenly made sense. The whole craze about finding soulmates finally made fucking sense. I finally understood.”

You blink and blink so fast that you fear your eyelids might not keep up with the action. You never thought your other half would be a huge, spectacular talker and that they would know just how to steal the breath from your lungs away. But Jungkook knows. You're finding a lot of new things this night and one of them is that Jungkook is a hopeful romantic. It almost makes your body bring on another set of waterworks.

“I love you.” He says the soul-breaking words again. “And I already know that love is malleable but what I feel in my bones is for forever.”

In your bones, transformed out of what had laid dormant you felt Love. All around you love. Like you could mess up, you could do the oddest thing in the universe and the love would still be there. You want to shout it out. For the first time in your little life, you feel love and you want it always. And you want to give it always.

And you don’t know how you know but you know that he’s about to kiss you. Oh, gods. He’s about to kiss you right after –

“I love you too.” You hurl out fast enough and it slows down Jungkook’s advancement towards you. “And I have no idea what I'm doing but I'll do it with you. I don’t trust just anyone but what we have is bigger than trust. Like you said, it’s life itself.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I would wait forever for you too.”

“I know,” he says and you don’t run away when he steps closer to your body. And his fingers reach for a set of yours. You raise your free hand to his chest and feel the rapid, erratic beating of his heart in its cage.

“And I've never done this before. But I'll do my best I –”

“We don’t graded,” he cuts you off with a laugh. “And I know.”

He knows.

His free hand cups your cheek and you almost hyperventilate. Almost. But you’d rather die than miss this. So, you take deep, long breaths that inflate your system with the mix of sandalwood, earth, and hope. And then his lips press onto yours and give you a happy death. His lips crush yours with a force reserved for rocks and specks of dust breaking away from comets. His kiss wakes you up. And you love it.

Before you can even push further, his lips move to the side of your cheek, barely-there before it cascades to the other. And then his mouth is on your brow bone, a light presence that feels heavenly beautiful and nerve-wracking all at once before his lips rest on the middle of your forehead.

Jungkook’s lips came back to yours and kissed one corner of your mouth and then the other. Oh, seven hells, you can’t think. You don’t want to either. Instead, you open your mouth and kiss him back with more fervor. You lithely raise on your toes and kiss the apples of his cheeks, his temples, his brow bones, beneath his lips and right on his chin. Gods, it feels like you kiss him everywhere.

The hand on his chest feels how frenzied his heart is pounding and it makes you smile because you’re sure your heart is doing the same. You close your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck. You don’t need to say anything in this moment because what needs to be said is all around you and under your skin. He reached forward and kissed you again. This time harder, and more frivolous and you gave and gave and took and took. And when the two of you finally break apart for air, you feel a tingle of cosmic goodness down your limbs.

Fuck.

He grins, actually no, he does more than that. He momentarily lights up like a firetruck and pulls you impossibly closer. And you think he has the most beautiful smile in the universe. You want to keep that on his face forever.

“You’re worth it,” you tell him, breathless.

“Worth what?” He asks smugly, his smile turning cocky as he acts like he doesn’t know.

You roll your eyes, your shoulders shaking as you laugh. A genuine one that warms your belly. “Worth the wait.”

a/n » hooo my god, this is the first thing i’ve written in about a year? and it feels so good to write and even better to pour my soul into this soulmate au. i really hope y’all loved it!! and please do tell me what you think!

⇢ masterlist

©️ 2019 kai, moonbelt [aka high-on-food]

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 6 years ago

Text

Dark Corridors

Erik Killmonger x fem!Reader [One Shot]

Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected sex. Don’t be silly, wrap that willy.

Word Count: I mean, who am I to say no to a 2am wishful thinking of my brain who heard WAVES by Normani once and decided it wanted a full-fledged smut with this bad boy. Have your way brain. It was such a smooth ride. I definitely didn’t sweat the entire day just thinking about it. Neither did I have breathing problems while writing it. And vivid scenes? Naw! Not at aaaaall!

My neighbours are having a party right now and I can hear mum’s friend singing songs off tune while being jovially drunk. Hihihi

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

There is something about these lights. The dim-lit corridors with just a single subtle line of blue guiding you to the equally lit floors but with strobe lights and a lot of people. The place smells of alcohol, smoke machine and something citrusy going about in the air. Smells like pent up emotions just waiting to get out and have fun. Smells like the edged nerves before sex.

Everyone here is with someone. Tables filled up with friends buzzed into the night. Booths filled up with couples with hands roaming each other without any restrictions. There is something about this place.

Talking of place...

Your eyes wander farther than the barstool you come to settle on, ordering your usual. Why you are doing this, you're not sure yourself. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You were not supposed to be like this.

Three weeks.

Three weeks since you came here with your girlfriends to get away from the mental torture of finding out stains of lipstick on your boyfriend's shirt, his clothes reeking of the lingering feminine perfume that had grown stronger day by day. Three weeks since you ordered four Long Islands for yourself, wanting to just let it all slip away- your senses, your emotions, your body. Most of all...your tears.

Tears don't come that easy when there's a need for them. So, there is a need to go about finding dark corners inside and out to find a point of no light to help you make yourself bare. Three weeks since you did slip away from the bar to find yourself up the stairs walking in dark corridors, trying to find a perfect corner. Three weeks since something in the darkness touched you.

At first, it was a graze along your clothes, almost so light to be missed for a breeze. Then, it turned a little curious, the touch rising up your back before finding its way down. The curiosity had given way to a filthy need when fingers seemed to reach down your skirt, your mouth clamped shut with fingers so that no noise came out as they tried to get their way.

You don't remember what it was exactly- the buzz, the flight response or the need to just lock your teeth onto something really hard- but you were biting down on those fingers trying to shut you up, making a gurgling scream leave a man as you tried to run away, only to run into something hard at the end of the corridor.

You would have mistaken him for a wall if it hadn't been for the moonlight bouncing off him, colouring his dark skin a glittering blue from his neck all the way up that sharp jaw carrying a thick stubble, going further up to be met by intricate dreadlocks on one side.

You were thankful for the hold of those strong arms around you, breaking the otherwise drunken gait that would have landed you headfirst down. But thankful as you were, you were scared. Scared by the dark eyes looking like smokey quartz polished to perfection by the creator himself. Scared when those pair of quartz looked down at you, into you, all over you, before loosening their grip on you and walking right into the darkness you'd run away from, bringing out wails that could raise the dead and kill the living.

But nothing in your life seemed to have given you as cathartic an experience as when you watched him come back out, unscathed by the unseen.

There was something about the moonlight that night.

There was something about the lack of it the next week. When you went back again, this time looking for an escape from your boyfriend. It wasn't going anywhere and you wanted to leave him. Get away from that cheater. As much as you could. So alcohol was being made the catalyst to the escapade. Till you saw him. Again.

Sitting in the farthest booth with nothing but a candle lighting up his corner, he seemingly was in a meditative state, studying something on the table in front of him. Those arms form the previous week were covered in a full sleeves navy blue t-shirt today. Those eyes were behind thick-rimmed glasses, looking down at the contents of the table, giving you enough time to study them from where you sat. At least that's what you thought till they shot back up to look directly at you. No one but you.

You wanted to look away, but the grasp of those quartz was strong on you until your body had to drag you away from their hold.

You visited every other night since then, trying to steal a look of that dark stranger who would sit in the invisible corners, alone, carrying out whatever it was that he did. You? You kept finding yourself feeling guilty of coming back for him, having thoughts of his skin brushing over yours, that stubble grazing your skin, those eyes stripping you naked and making your core pool just by their stare.

All those weeks and you both kept your distance. Physically.

Tonight it is the same old routine. He sits in the corner with that candle as his only company. You are on the bar with the Long Island sitting in front of you. The drops trickle down the glass, your eyes following them, trying to erase the fight you had last night when you left that excuse of a man for good.

Right now, it's just you and your drink, slowly diluting everything that is sullen. You are aware of the eyes that linger over your form clad in this blue dress with crisp straps over your shoulders, the fabric going down no more than your thighs. A man or two do try to sit next to you, buy your drinks for you, take you out for the night. The same men mutter curses when you show no interest.

It's all fine till you see your boyfriend- ex- come and sit down next to you, smelling of whiskey too heavy for you to stand the odour. He wants your attention. He wants your body. He wants you back.

You hold your thin blue shawl closer to you, covering your arms as much as you can. Your ex tries to hold them, making you shrug him away- not before he gets hold of your shawl, yanking it away from your body- get up and walk away from the bar. It is hard to find a way through the crowd, that might as well just be solid shadows in true hall. You can feel him calling out from behind you, forcing you to go up the stairs, past the people rubbing on to each other in the night.

He does catch up, grabbing your arm and not letting go till he has you pushed against the wall. You push him away, wanting to get his body away from you as much as you can, only for him to press it more against you, the bulge in his pants trying to press in between your legs.

When the nerves cannot take it anymore, your hand takes it unto itself to punch him across the face, catching him off guard.

You think that should be enough to get you away from him, clearly misjudging his reflexes to grab you by your throat, ram you against the wall and slap his back of the hand right across your face.

The impact leaves a tingling sensation on your cheek and a ringing in your ear. Your focus on the heat rising up in the hurt flesh does not let you observe the presence of another man taking your ex by the collar before throwing him a few feet away with a single smack to his face.

The sound of that man dropping catches you off guard, making you look up at the familiar man of the moonlight, standing with his back to you- or rather, standing between you and trouble.

It doesn't take much more for the ex to scurry away with a bloodied nose and curses under his breath, leaving you and that man alone.

A woman comes up, calling this man Erik, asking if everything was okay. Erik, turning to look at you trying to find the gravity under your feet and hands, just nods before letting his hand curl up around your arms as slowly as possible- so as not to startle you- and get you up on your feet.

No words are exchanged as he walks you through the corridor up another flight of stairs where soft yellow lights seem to illuminate a little living room past the main door. It has a warm scent of apple pie and roasted chicken, probably coming from the kitchen right next to it. Across the living room, without any doors or blinders is the bedroom housing a bed with grey sheets, clean to the corners.

It's nice.

Erik leaves your arm once you're standing by the sofa and goes to the bathroom to get his first aid kit.

It is a task to decide whether you sit down or not. But you do it anyway, being careful not to get anything on the flower-patterned beige fabric.

It doesn't take Eric long to come back with a plastic box in his hand, walking to sit down next to you to begin the ritual of tending to your wounds.

Jasmine. He smells of jasmine and...and something earthy that you can't put your finger on. His eyes follow the cotton dipped in clean water before coming to rest on your cheek. And then your eyes.

You turn your cheek to him giving him permission to take care of it for you. And so he does. The cold moist touch is gentle, though it makes the wound sting. Makes you close your eyes and draw in a troubled breath. All of it is followed by a cool breeze fanning the burn, soothing it, making it calm down.

It's Erik, easing the pain with his breath.

Once the wound is clean, he dabs a bit of clinical spirit.

You don't even know when it happens but you are leaning into his touch more and more with every passing second till you find yourself waking up from a trance with his fingers pushing away your hair from your face and behind your ear.

Close. He is close to you. The original art of what you had been imagining of facing for so many days, right in front of you. Lips, perfect and parted. Breaths, easy. Eyes, heavy and dark. Intentions, deliciously questionable.

It isn't hard to miss- or he is making it rather obvious- when Erik keeps shifting his gaze from your eyes to your lips.

You too, are starting to question every microscopic thought you have had about those lips and the curiosity of what they taste like. Being the cat who does not want to be left in the dark, you shift your weight and close the distance with your lips landing on his.

It's a hurried decision that you're still wondering if you'll regret when you feel his lips take over, opening up to deepen the aftertaste of your curiosity.

Sweet and salty. That's what he tastes like. With just a hint of alcohol. Craving for more, you let your tongue get a lick of him. And once he figures that, his own tongue is letting itself into your mouth to reign over every corner it can find.

Before you know it, his hands are holding your waist, his fingers wanting to dig beyond the blue fabric over your body as his chest pulls you down and his leg plants itself between your thighs, letting you grind your pulsating core against the surface of his jeans.

The once tender kiss has deepened into a lustful need for more demanding exploration. His one hand lingers on your jaw, the other delves into the lower regions, ricocheting under your dress, teasing the hairs on your thigh rising to welcome his touch.

His tongue has managed to grab an illicit moan out of you, which you reciprocate with a provoking bite to his lips between your teeth.

Erik's eyes go hauntingly dark at your audacity to so graciously let him know what all you are open to. It has never been normalcy for him to give up the strings to someone else to let him be played. But just this once, he wants to test the waters, wants to see where this goes.

He helps you get off his shirt and you pause for a second to watch in awe the markings on his body. Perfectly patterned ridges run across his chest at intervals that you are allowed to touch and even scrutinise under your fingers because your touch is this gentle breeze of a drug that Erik slowly seems to be getting high on. Not too long before you have undone his pants and freed his length that has been waiting for you for quite a while.

The first stroke is but a pleasant kiss by your fingers, making Erik's cock twitch. The precum is spread over the length and a few languid strokes by your hands later, his breath is fluttering a bit before a considerable tremble is felt as your mouth takes in as much of his length as it can, letting your tongue play with it, your head bob over it with a slow and steady rhythm and uncontrollable low moans that escape your throat. What your mouth can't cover is taken care of by your hand, stroking the length, leaving no part untouched. It is a pleasure to hear him audibly shudder when your tongue plays with his frenum, making him see dark spots behind his eyes.

It is an entirely new spectrum of pleasure for Erik, and yet his hands twitch for taking the reins. He wants more. He wants to take control. He moves your hair out of your way before taking your jaw in his hand, making your leave his cock. Before you can gather, he is lifting you by your thighs, putting you over his shoulder and walking towards the bedroom to drop you on the fluffed up mattress.

Your dress is unzipped and thrown on the floor, your panties practically torn before his fingers are finding your folds, diving into your wetness, locating your clit and rubbing it to light up all the dark corners of your body. Your cunt is at his mercy now. And that's not the only thing that gives you pleasure, Erik makes sure of that. His tongue is giving all the attention to your nipples in turn, making them perk up with more of his sucking and nibbling, having a terribly good effect on your already sensitive core.

When a high note of simmering pleasure escaping you reaches his ears, Erik stops the play, much to your dismay, for not wanting that pleasure to end just here. Instead, he takes your legs- which still have the boots on- and lifts them up over his shoulders, biting and sucking on them all the while. You will not be surprised if you find bruises where he is digging his teeth. These are the only types of bruises you'd want anyway.

His length teases your folds, making you arch up into him, asking him through your eyes to satiate your hunger.

You want more.

And you want it all.

Erik seems to know that desperation lurking in your eyes for he pushes his cock in, forcing out a gasp from you at his size, at the same time making you grab at iron rails of the headboard in the name of gravity to get you through the first few seconds.

Once he feels you having adjusted to his length, Erik nearly pulls himself all out before going back in with the right about of jerk, making you go for the headboard again. The pace is picked without much room for a love-making trot, skipping straight to the highs of watching his form smile down on you while his hips slapping with your ass cheeks and you let out rhythmic moans, instantly finding yourself pooling up and shuddering under your orgasm; the high being carried out when he rides you right through it.

But Erik isn’t done yet.

He flips you on your stomach, slapping your ass before digging his fingers in your hips to drag it close to his pulsating cock yearning for more.

You are still catching your breaths and feeling the sweat rise behind your neck when you feel his throbbing length enter you once again, and your body with a will of its own arching back into him.

Why, he has his claws into you. Your ass cheeks feeling his nails dig into them as he once again slamming himself into you, this time, creating fireworks behind your eyes. The pace is torturous and tactile at the same time. Your breasts dance at every impact, your walls lighting up whenever he hit the right spots, again and again, his grunts and groans vibrating right into your core. You can no longer hold your cries back, letting them out with the fast rhythm he is riding you on.

Yes.

You want this. You crave this. You crave him. Inside you. Over you. Everywhere in this moment of your existence.

The pace fastens as Erik reaches his own high, his length gradually swelling up inside you. You too are close once again, your cries rising higher as the edge of that dam approaches, letting your fingers find your clit to come with him. And as the pace gets sloppier and the cries from the both of you more feral, asking for more, the orgasm hits in its prime, bringing Erik down on you as his legs shudder and your knees, in turn, give way, falling flat over the mattress, glowing with the mix of sex sweat and orgasmic high.

A few moments pass in silence when both of you catch your breaths and find parts of each other under your fingers that want reassurance through touch.

Satisfaction.

Nothing like this has been achieved before. And it only makes you question what all can be explored in the future.

But for now, it's bliss. Pure bliss.

Erik slowly pulls out of you and goes to the bathroom while you take the opportunity to turn and get up, feeling your core throb at the fresh ache it experiences in there. Within no time, he's out again, this time with a towel that seems to be wet, cleaning the aftermath of the pleasure between your legs. The fabric feels warm and soft, cleaning every last trace and being dumped into the laundry basket by the bathroom door.

This part, you are unsure of.

Stay?

Or walk away?

The deed has been done.

You know what you want, though. It's the question of what he desires.

The duvet he pulls over you while planting himself in the bed next to you seems to answer the question.

And as if to make double-sure on it, Erik lets his hand grab your waist and drag you close to marr your swollen lips with a tongue-tied kiss.

You are lying on his chest, feeling the ridges under your skin and fingers while his arm embraces you, soothingly rubbing on the injured cheek.

The sounds from the club downstairs are muffled, the lights off, letting the moonlight creep in and be bedfellows for the night, dancing on your skins jovially.

There really is something about the lights tonight.

188 notes · View notes

aquaminwrites · 7 years ago

Text

Skin Deep: 08

Pairing: Yoongi x Tattoo Artist!Reader (M/F) Genre: Friends to lovers, slow burn. Eventual smut. Rating: 18+ Warnings: Sexual situations, the 95 line being...the 95 line Word Count: 5.5K

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 (links removed due to tumblr issue)

A/N: Only two chapters left! Say it with me--FINALLY. I hope you enjoy. PS. Smut next chapter. That is all. Let me know what you think!

You can’t remember the last time you were so nervous.

Showing up unannounced at someone’s place is completely unlike you, but after your talk with Namjoon, you feel emboldened and want nothing more than to see Yoongi again. Two weeks is the longest you’ve been without hearing his voice or seeing his face since the two of you became friends all those months ago. You hadn’t realized how much you’d adapted your schedule to include him until he was suddenly gone.

You manage to slip through the lobby of the building just as another resident is leaving, riding the elevator up to the seventh floor. You find yourself standing in front of his door now, nothing separating the two of you except a slab of wood.

You knock. Once, twice, three times.

You’re met with nothing but silence.

The breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding escapes your slightly parted lips in a sad sigh, and you think to yourself that maybe you should have called or texted him beforehand to at least make sure he was home.

But Hoseok said he’d been holed up in his place for the last few weeks, not even stopping by HopeWorld to watch Jimin and Jungkook dance like he usually did, even before he’d known you.

You wait another minute before you lower your head, and begin to dejectedly turn on your heel. It’s at that moment that the door swings open, and you’re suddenly face to face with a very stunned looking Min Yoongi.

God, it feels like an eternity since you’ve seen him. His inky hair is a little unkempt and dark circles are forming under his eyes, his loose black t-shirt hanging limply off his frame. He looks a little thinner, sallow, and it breaks your heart to know that you are the cause of this.

“Y/N…” he whispers out, voice pitched slightly in confusion. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I…” you begin, unsure of what to say. You offer up a small smile. “Can I come in?”

That seems to snap Yoongi out of his daze. “Yeah,” he replies, stepping aside to usher you in. “Yeah, of course.”

The apartment is just like how you remember, albeit a little messier than the last time you were there. Yoongi used to joke that he never really had company before, and ever since you started frequenting his place, he kept it pretty much spotless. It seems as if he’s reverted to how it was before—not horribly messy, but definitely more cluttered than it had been since your last visit.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Yoongi asks as he moves from the doorway over to the kitchen.

You shake your head, gesturing to the couch. “Can we talk?”

You notice as he wipes the palms of his hands against the denim of his jeans. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

You sit down on one end of the couch, and Yoongi sits on the other, as far away from you as possible. You look over at him and frown.

“Do you hate me?”

He seems shocked by your question, whipping his head over to balk at you. “What? No, of course not. Almost the exact opposite, actually,” he states with a forced sounding laugh.

You bite at your lower lip before quietly asking, “Then how come you’re all the way over there?”

He gapes at you momentarily before acquiescing and scooting a little closer. Not close enough to make you uncomfortable, but not far enough to make it seem like he’s avoiding you.

Your lips quirk up just a touch before you’re turning away from his gaze, staring down at your feet. The two of you sit in an awkward, uncomfortable silence before you finally speak up.

“I’m sorry.”

Yoongi can’t help the scoff that escapes his throat. “Don’t do that.”

You immediately look back at him, confusion painting your features, your forehead creasing slightly as your brows furrow. “What?”

“Don’t apologize,” he clarifies, sounding so tired, weary down to his bones. “Don’t apologize to me like you did something wrong. It just makes me feel like more of an asshole.”

Your lower lip begins to tremble without your permission, and you clasp your hands together in your lap as you return to fixing your eyes to the ground. “Sorry,” you rasp out again. “And…sorry for saying sorry.”

You can’t see him, but you can tell that Yoongi’s shoulders are slumped, his back hunched as he sighs loudly beside you. “Look…this…this isn’t how I wanted this conversation to go. When I’d imagined us having this talk in my head, it was so much simpler. And I just—h-hey, are you crying?”

“No,” you hiccup, hastily swiping at your eyes, fully turning your head away from him. You feel the couch cushions shift as Yoongi moves closer, and then you feel his arms winding around you as he tugs you to his chest.

“Baby,” he murmurs, rubbing slow, comforting circles against your back. The term of endearment doesn’t escape your notice, and you allow yourself to relax against him, breathing him in for the first time in weeks. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” you mumble, which is immediately followed by a sniffle. Yoongi croaks out a laugh, his shoulders shaking gently as his grip on you tightens. You find yourself laughing too through the tears, and you swear you feel the gentle press of his lips against the crown of your head.

“We’re really bad at this, huh?” He asks quietly once you’ve calmed down.

“Yeah,” you can’t help but agree, though you make no attempt to move from his grasp. He takes that as a sign and grips you tighter.

“I should be the one apologizing to you,” he admonishes. “The way I spoke to you that day…I had no right. It was fucked up. I shouldn’t have tried anything, shouldn’t have tried to kiss you, especially after the run-in with your ex. Definitely shouldn’t have blown up at you afterwards, as if it was your fault, or something.”

Yoongi sighs, his voice starting to waver.

“When you never called me back or texted me, I just…I assumed you hated me for what I said. I figured that I lost my chance with you, the first person in a really, really fucking long time that I’ve ever cared about. I’m not…I’m not good with emotions, and I’m not the best at expressing myself when it comes to these things. But all I know is that you are the only person in the entire fucking world that I want to be with every single day.”

You shift away from him just enough that you can look into his eyes, his confession startling you. This is the first time you’ve ever heard Yoongi speak this way, and you bite your tongue as he continues.

“I want to learn everything about you, and I want to learn new things with you. I want to teach you piano and sound production, and I want you to teach me about tattooing and its history. I want to be able to hold your hand and wake up beside you, and it kills me every day that I can’t, because I want to. I want to so fucking badly. And when I said those things…the way you looked at me made me feel like we were strangers all over again. And I fucking hate myself for hurting you, Y/N. You deserve better. You deserve more than I can give.”

The silence that settles between the two of you is palpable, and Yoongi can’t help but shy away from your eyes. He sniffs loudly, trying to play it off as if he isn’t on the verge of tears, and you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“What if…” You clear your throat, taking hold of one of his hands. You love his hands—they’re the hands of a musician, of a creator, of a poet. “What if I don’t want ‘better’?”

Yoongi looks at you, confused. “W-what?”

“What if I don’t want ‘better’?” You repeat with a little more conviction. “I still owe you an apology, Yoongi. Even if you don’t think that I do. I led you on—maybe because I liked the attention you gave me at first. But I do really like you. And I promise you that I’m not lying about that. I should have told you sooner. And if Namjoon hadn’t showed up at my shop that day, I know that things would have been different. What if we’re both just fucked up, damaged people, and all I want is you and everything that comes with you? What if I want you to teach me piano, and to teach you about tattooing? And what if I just want to kiss you in front of your friends just to get them to shut up?”

At this point, it’s hard to tell what Yoongi resembles more—a human, or a fish out of water.

After a second, he blurts, “Wait, what?”

You can’t help but giggle at that, bringing your finger under his chin to close his mouth before dropping your hand back to grasp onto his. “Everything that you said that day was right. Sometimes I feel the need to save people, and it can be self-serving. And maybe that’s why what you said stung so much, because no one has ever been that transparent with me before. But honestly, looking back now, I needed to hear that. The reason why I never called you back or texted you was because I was too scared to listen to the voicemail you sent me. I thought maybe you’d gotten drunk and called to yell at me again, to tell me that you never wanted to see me and that whatever this was,” you gesture between the two of you, “was over. And I didn’t want us to be over. Not when we hadn’t even begun.”

You sigh, shaking your head.

“I spent a long time being part of a couple, and I lost a lot of who I was in the process. And then through therapy, and by just being alone, I was able to figure out who I was again. I felt empty for a really, really long time. And then when I met you,” you smile, biting your lip slightly, “it was the first time in forever that I actually felt whole.”

Yoongi tilts his body to face yours fully, his eyes shining with desperation. “I need you to know how sorry I am about what I said. It could have been a conversation, but instead I just…fucking exploded. If I could take it all back, I would. Every day, I think about how lucky I am to know someone like you. You make me a better person, and I actually like who I am when I’m with you. When I said I wasn’t expecting to fall for someone like you, I meant that I never expected to know someone as kind, as smart, as talented, and as earth-shatteringly beautiful as you. I mean, look at me. I’m basically a goblin by comparison.”

That earns a genuine laugh out of you, and you swat genially at his chest as you shake your head. “I don’t know. You’re pretty cute for a goblin.”

“I mean it,” he insists. “Well, not so much about the goblin part. But the rest is all true. I never had a reason to like myself before I met you. And then you came into my life and you changed everything. You mean so fucking much to me, you know? The two weeks we spent apart were some of the most miserable I’ve ever experienced, and that was just because you weren’t there with me, in my studio, sitting on my couch, pretending to draw and watching me work on my music instead. I don’t know how you did it, but you became my everything, and I just…I need you.”

“If it’s any consolation,” you admit, “I was miserable without you, too.”

Yoongi shifts to scratch at the back of his ear, a bashful smile on his face. “That kind of makes me feel a little better, yeah.”

You giggle, and then take a second to just look at him again. You take in the softness of his gaze as he watches you, the tiniest upward curve of his lips, the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. His eyes dart down to your mouth, lingering there for a moment, and it takes a second to register how close he is now. You can nearly count every single one of his eyelashes as you feel the warmth of his breath dancing across your skin.

Yoongi blinks, his eyes searching yours. Finally, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

You breathe out the tiniest sigh of relief, unable to stop the smile that spreads across your face. “Yes. Please.”

Your eyes flutter shut as he brushes your hair away from your face, and you feel your heart thrumming in your chest at the anticipation. But to your surprise, you feel Yoongi’s lips press gently against the curve of your neck, over the lines of your peony tattoo. The sensation makes you shiver, and you can tell that he’s smiling gently against your skin.

Yoongi continues, kissing softly up your neck as you tilt your head to give him more access. His lips find the edge of your jaw, and you feel your heartbeat pulsing in your ears. He trails sweet kisses along your cheek, his hand coming to caress your face. He angles you towards him just slightly before his lips finally find yours, and it’s like the entire world falls away until there’s nothing remaining but you and him.

His lips are soft, but also a little hesitant as they move with yours, almost as if he’s still asking for forgiveness. You bring your hand up to cover his own that’s cupping your jaw, pulling away for just a second. He doesn’t shy away from your gaze, and you smile, running your thumb along his fingers in a comforting gesture that tells him It’s alright, I’m sorry too, I want you, I need you, I forgive you.

And so he kisses you again.

You tilt your head slightly to change the angle, deepening it as he lets out the tiniest moan against your mouth. His tongue traces along the seam of your lips and your hands move to card through his soft, silky hair as you open for him. Everything about him is overwhelming—the taste of his tongue as it slots against yours, the feel of his hands as they slide under your shirt, thumbs massaging gentle circles against your waist.

Months of longing and desire, secret subtle touches and fleeting glances all culminate in this moment, and you allow yourself to sink into the feeling of kissing him, kissing Yoongi, the man who completely changed your life without you noticing.

He shifts and pulls you onto his lap, your knees falling on either side of his waist as you straddle him. Yoongi tugs you impossibly close, so close that you’re grinding against the growing ache that begins to stiffen in the confines of his jeans. You place a hand on his chest and pull away from him, though you don’t want to, and press a soft peck to the corner of his mouth.

“I spoke to Namjoon.”

Yoongi’s hands don’t stray from your hips, but he narrows his eyes, lips flattening into a thin line. “You really want to talk about your ex? Right now?”

You sigh, running the pad of your thumb along his cheekbone. Like a man starved for affection, he leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut momentarily as he basks in the sensation.

“I just…” You begin, taking in all the details of his beautiful face. “He was a big part of my life, but I want you to know that I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I don’t want that to ever be a thought that crosses your mind. He knows how I feel about you, and he respects that. But when I got together with Namjoon, we rushed into things. And I don’t want to rush with you.” Your eyes dart down to the growing bulge in his pants before shifting back up to look at him. When you do, he’s blushing. “Is that…is that okay?”

Yoongi replies by kissing you again, and you swear, you’ll never get sick of this feeling, of his mouth slanting against yours.

“I waited my whole life for you,” he breathes against your skin, pecking you once, twice, three times. “I can wait a little longer.”

You scrunch up your nose as he peppers kisses all over your face, unable to stop yourself from giggling like a teenager as he nuzzles against you.

“Go on a date with me,” you whisper against his mouth, your nose grazing his.

He raises an eyebrow, though his eyes remain closed. “Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking you out?”

“What can I say, I’m a progressive woman,” you joke, moving off of him. You rise, tugging him up with you. He immediately loops his arms around your waist, your arms curling around his neck as he pulls you close. “So, what do you say?”

Yoongi tilts his head back, pursing his lips as he sucks in a breath through his teeth. “I don’t know…”

“Yoongi!” You whine, a pout beginning to form.

He looks down at you and laughs, only making you frown more. “You’re cute, you know that?”

You start to blush, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Shut up.”

“Are you being shy?” He teases, pinching your side until you yelp and swat at his arm. “Ow! I’m just kidding, yeesh.” Yoongi leans down and kisses your cheek, and you feel your blush deepen. “Where do you want to go?”

You take his hand, leading him towards the door. “Anywhere, as long as I’m with you.”

—

The two of you wander for a while, hand in hand, finally just being able to enjoy each other’s presence without holding anything back. You find yourselves near the waterfront, where the summer carnival is set up in a large, empty lot. Colourful lights twinkle throughout the stalls and midway rides, the smell of deep-fried food wafting through your nostrils. The laughter of children fills the air, along with different kinds of music from all sorts of directions, creating a melodious cacophony that only a carnival can produce. The ferris wheel lights up the evening sky, and you think to yourself that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

Yoongi gestures at the ring toss game. “Want me to win you a stuffed animal? Or are you too progressive to let me try to impress you?”

You roll your eyes, leaning into him. “Half these games are rigged, aren’t they?”

“Y/N!” He whines. “Let me try. Please?”

You can’t help but chuckle before finally conceding. “Okay. But don’t spend more than five dollars or I’ll feel bad!”

“Too late,” he hollers, handing the woman who runs the stall a ten dollar bill. She chortles at the two of you, commenting on What a cute couple you are, before handing Yoongi a dozen rings. Your face is beet red as you slap a hand against your cheek, watching as Yoongi takes aim at the rows of green glass bottles in front of him. He only needs to make one ringer in order to win a prize.

He makes five.

“And you doubted me,” he gloats, unable to hide the smugness from his tone as he hands you an ostentatiously large stuffed bear. “Where are you gonna keep this thing?”

You hug the plush toy to your chest, chin resting atop its soft head. “I don’t know. My studio has some room. Or maybe my apartment.”

Yoongi grasps your free hand and the two of you wander down the midway together. “You know, I still haven’t been over to your place.”

“You will,” you say simply, smiling up at him. “Eventually.”

Yoongi nods, understanding that your privacy is extremely important to you. You continue to walk along the rows of booths together, talking about nothing and everything all at once. It’s almost as if the two weeks of radio silence never happened, and you are so thankful for that because being with Yoongi just feels so right. It would have been a terrible shame if the two of you were to never speak again because of what was essentially a misunderstanding. But as he links his fingers with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze, you forget about everything aside from this moment, and the way he looks at you with nothing but affection in his catlike eyes.

You’re heading over to the food vendors when all of a sudden, you hear a familiar voice calling out your name.

“Y/N-noona! Yoongi-hyung!”

The two of you turn to see none other than Jimin and Taehyung—the former is waving frantically at you, while the latter is busy stuffing a giant soft pretzel into his mouth. Jimin drags Taehyung over to where the two of you are standing, opening his mouth to say something before staring at your joined hands and openly balking.

“FINALLY!”

“Jesus, Jimin, keep your voice down, we’re in public,” Yoongi grumbles, clearly embarrassed. You lift yourself up onto your tiptoes and peck him on the cheek. He then turns to you, his eyes wide as saucers. “We’re in public!”

“When did this happen?” Taehyung asks, his mouth full of pretzel, though you can tell by his eyes that he’s trying to smile as he chews.

“It’s new,” you admit, resting your head on Yoongi’s shoulder. You can tell by now that he’s not super comfortable with public displays of affection, if the shy apprehension on his face is anything to go by, but you just can’t help yourself. Now that you’re able to hold him and touch him whenever you want, you never want to let go.

“It’s just a date,” he grumbles out, clearly a little embarrassed. “Don’t make a big deal of it.”

You reach up to flick right between his eyebrows, and he yelps out a protest. Turning back to the other two, you say, “We were just going to grab something to eat. You want to join us?”

“Sure!” Jimin claps. “I haven’t eaten yet. Tae-Tae was supposed to share his pretzel, but…” He glances sideward at his friend, who lets out a tiny burp. “He inhaled the whole thing.”

“I’m a growing boy!”

“You were supposed to share!”

“Hyung will buy you fries or something,” Yoongi mutters, gesturing to the food stall. “Can one of you guys go grab us a table? We’ll be there in a second.”

“I want fries too!”

Jimin scoffs. “Taehyung! Don’t be greedy!”

“I’m a growing boy!”

Yoongi turns to you, his eyes glazed over with indifference. “Should we just let them starve instead?”

You tap your finger against your chin, pretending to be contemplative. “Well, Taehyung did have that pretzel just now, so it’s not like he’ll die right away…”

“The fuck?” Taehyung practically hollers before Jimin shushes him by smacking the back of his head, gesturing to the numerous children in the close vicinity. “The fuck,” he repeats, in a hushed whisper.

“Go get a table,” Yoongi barks, shoving a pointed finger in the direction of the seating area. The two younger men immediately straighten up and scuttle away, but not before Jimin snatches the infant-sized teddy bear from your arms, pretending as if it’s an actual kid. Yoongi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as you loop both arms around his middle, pressing a kiss to his chin. A dusting of pink flushes his cheeks as he mumbles out a whine. “Baby.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that,” you grin, reaching up to peck at his lips. “C’mon. The line is moving.”

“Says the woman clinging to me like a koala.”

You raise an eyebrow with a smirk, detaching yourself to hold onto his hand instead. “Not a fan of PDA?”

Yoongi opens his mouth to retort, but instead just ends up chuckling sheepishly. “Not sure, to be honest. Never really had a girlfriend to have PDA with.”

You give his hand a light squeeze, your tone purposely flippant. “Oh, so I’m your girlfriend now, huh? I thought this was just a date.”

He glares at you. “Don’t start.”

You can’t help but laugh, your other hand coming to rub against his lean bicep. “I like you, Yoongi.”

He looks down at you, his eyes soft with affection. His free hand rises to tilt your chin slightly skyward, and he kisses you on the mouth, witnesses be damned. “I like you too.”

The two of you finally detach from each other long enough to grab a tray of fries, hot dogs, burgers, and fountain drinks. You meander over to where Jimin and Taehyung are sitting with your stuffed toy, the bear occupying its own seat on the picnic bench. Their eyes light up at the sight of all the food, and Yoongi fixes Taehyung with a glare that has him folding his hands in his lap instead of reaching out to grab at the fries.

“So,” Jimin drawls, mouth half full of deep fried potato as he watches the two of you. You’re sitting beside Yoongi, who is eating with one hand, his other draped protectively around your waist as you lean into him. “Now that you two are finally together, when’s the wedding?”

Yoongi almost chokes on his burger, and you cough loudly as the pop you’re drinking goes down the wrong pipe.

“This is our first date,” Yoongi hisses once he’s sure he isn’t going to die.

You vehemently agree. And then you have to ask, “How long have all of you been waiting for this to happen?”

Jimin ponders, drumming his fingers against his chin in faux-thought. Finally, after a dramatic pause, he replies, “The second Yoongi-hyung brought you into HopeWorld for the first time.”

Your eyes widen, and you turn to Yoongi in disbelief. “You liked me for that long?”

He’s clearly embarrassed now, chin propped up on his free hand, eyes darting everywhere but the three (four, including that giant bear) of you. He mumbles out something you can’t quite hear, and you poke him hard in the ribs until he speaks up. “I may have liked you since the moment we met,” he admits.

“You what?” You cry out in disbelief. “But you were such a dick to me at the bar that time!”

“Because Hoseok was all over you!” He protests. “Do you know how annoying it was to see one of my best friends flirting with you, and you looking like you were into it? I thought for sure I had no chance.” His eyes soften, and his grip on your waist tightens. “I mean, look at you. I still can’t believe you like me back.”

You look down, biting back a smile when you hear the sudden click of a camera and a flash of light. Confused, you glance up at Taehyung, who has produced an older looking film camera out of seemingly nowhere, his big, boxy grin on full display.

“Sorry,” he says, not sounding apologetic at all. “Too cute of a moment to pass up.”

You simply laugh, shaking your head.

I’ve got to ask Tae for a copy of that photo.

—

The night winds down, and you and Yoongi bid farewell to Jimin and Taehyung. Yoongi insists on walking you back to your apartment. As much fun as it was to hang out with the others, being alone with him, strolling hand in hand, is definitely your favourite part of the night.

The two of you talk about nothing and everything on the long walk back to your place. You talk about your separate careers, what to name the giant teddy bear (you offer to name it Hoseok, just to bug him—it works, he glares at you for a solid sixty seconds), and the infamous choreographed dance that Yoongi still has to do for you. He jokes that he’ll just offer you a lap dance instead, but immediately retracts it once he seems the glimmer in your eyes.

You finally reach the front steps of your building, and you turn to Yoongi, setting the bear on the ground for a moment.

“I’m glad we had a chance to talk and sort out our shit. I had a lot of fun tonight.” You smile, as his hands find your waist, tugging you closer.

“Me too,” he agrees quietly as you loop your arms around his neck. He doesn’t waste any more time, dipping down to kiss you.

Your fingers twine through his hair as he presses you flush against him, the tiniest moan escaping you as he nibbles on your lower lip. You’re drunk on the taste of him as his tongue dips into your mouth and he crowds you against the brick wall, hands wandering lower grip at the curve of your ass.

He’s sinful and surprisingly dominant as his lips move with yours, one hand sliding down the back of your thigh to hitch over his waist. You cling to his shoulders and let out a whine as he grinds into you, the thick sound of saliva permeating the air as you lose all sense of time and space, wrapped up in everything that is Min Yoongi.

You wanted to take things slow, but having his body flush with yours, being able to feel his heartbeat against your chest, you’re starting to question your own rule. You want to break it badly, so badly, and you’re about to say fuck it and invite him upstairs to have your way with him when he pulls away from the kiss, moving to run the tip of his tongue along the shell of your ear.

“I want you so bad,” he pants, and you can tell, by the stiffness in his jeans that is pressing deliciously against your core. His teeth nip at the most sensitive part of your neck, and you gasp out his name. But just as suddenly as this all starts, he’s moving away, lowering your leg and sliding his hands back up to a respectable position on your waist. “But I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

You think that you probably look insane, hair mussed and lips kiss-swollen as you pant, eyes searching his. “What…” You begin, but need to start over as the air returns to your lungs. “What was all that, then?”

Yoongi winks at you, pressing an almost comically chaste kiss to the curve of your cheek. “Something to think about for next time,” he offers.

You huff out a laugh, your forehead dropping against his shoulder. “You’re making this really hard for me.”

Yoongi narrow his eyes playfully. “Did you just make a pun?” He asks, eyes darting down to the semi he’s currently rocking, that is still poking you through his pants.

Bursting out laughing, your body shakes as he joins in, and the two of you just stand there outside your apartment building, holding each other without a care in the world. After a moment, you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on either side of his face. You pull him in for another kiss, thinking about all that time wasted not being able to touch him this way since your first meeting nearly six months ago.

You pull away, hands resting on his chest. You can feel his heartbeat against your palm, and he looks at you with eyes full of affection and longing.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You offer, and he nods with a smile.

“See you tomorrow.” He kisses you one last time before scooping the teddy bear off the ground, dusting it off and handing it back to you. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Yoongi,” you reply, almost sounding bashful as you slip through the front door. You can’t help but giggle as you watch Yoongi waddle away while adjusting his crotch through the window. You shake your head and head to the elevator, biting your lip as you hug your teddy bear close to your chest.

You reach your apartment, and once you’re inside, you lean against the door, and let out a huge sigh of happiness. You place the bear gingerly on your couch before pulling your phone out of your pocket, scrolling through your contacts until you find the familiar name. You click it and bring your phone to your ear, flopping down onto your bed with a giant, stupid smile on your face.

Junghyun’s voice fills your ears as you snort out a laugh. Seems like he’s been waiting for this call for a long damn time.

“So, when’s the wedding?”

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procancelled · 6 years ago

Note

So have you read that update on that stulid petition? It's some interesting "insider info" Idk I'm pretty sure its all BS but idk idk idk

I hadn't but I looked it up, read through and here are my thoughts on it (I actually made notes on paper). You might want to grab and snack and a drink because this is a long one.

1. Anyone can claim to be a friend of Holly or Jared. Nothing written here has any evidence to support it. If they know Holly and talk to her online I'd assume that they'd have shared at least a few written conversations. They also claim to have known and sent nudes to Jared. I don't want screenshots of nudes but conversations. Where is evidence?

2. Bringing up Holly's mental health wasn't needed, it was probably for sympathy and did they even have her permission to talk about this (if they do know her)(Also same thing about Jared's mental health. More on that later)?

3. I get that Ross wants to stay out of this, more on that in a moment, but if what Heidi has said is completely false and he and Holly had an open relationship, and he and Holly split on any kind of decent terms, and Ross had been mad at Heidi for stopping Holly and Jared's relationship (which yeah, he's mad because his wife isn't fucking another man, makes sense(!)), and for yelling at Holly, then why would he remain silent on everything and let Holly take the heat?

4. Ross wants to be left out of this. They shouldn't be giving out all this information. Say he was aware of Holly and Jared's relationship (though I have my doubts) and that he and Holly were poly (things already stated by people involved in this situation) but any other alleged relationships he was in aren't the public's business.

5. Oh, and we're claiming that Ross and Holly's marriage was toxic for Holly now? I'm gonna be honest Ross is the only person in this situation I still really trust and respect so if he turns out to be not so great I don't know what I'm gonna do, but that's besides the point. Holly and Ross' marriage wasn't the healthiest? Well no shit if she was off telling another man she only had feelings for him and that he had awakened sexual feelings in her she'd never felt before. Shit like that is making me question if she ever actually had feelings for Ross.

6. Also, can we just acknowledge the fact that the person (I'm guessing creator of the petition) asking about the situation pushes the narrative they want and the other person just agrees with what they say? Seems sketchy to me...

7. Why would Ross be mad at Jared for being a good partner and stopping a relationship his wife wasn't comfortable with? I feel like Ross is reasonable enough and would understand (like yeah he may be a little insulted because that's his wife but he must have seen how close she and Jared were and would understand feeling weird about it). Even if he didn't, wouldn't he be mad at Heidi? If this is the truth (which I doubt) then the four of them should have sat down and talked about ground rules and just communicated more. Clearly none of them are cut out for being poly. And again, if Ross was mad at Heidi and not a fan of her see point 3.

8. The whole shit with Heidi and Cristina is speculation. Nothing said is factual, it's just what they 'believe'. Just because Cristina said a few things about Holly and she and Heidi reply to each other occasionally does not mean Heidi had a big scheme. Nate and Cristina broke up a while ago and I haven't seen Cristina and Heidi interact until recently. And even if they did talk they would have known each other through Nate and Jared working together. Unless we get evidence for this claim I'm not going to entertain this idea further.

9. Holly showed a sexual conversation Jared and Heidi had about Heidi's partner. The fact that their relationship was sexual isn't news. Also we don't know when Jared and Heidi stopped being poly. We know that Heidi wanted Jared to end his relationship with Holly because she made Heidi uncomfortable. I seem to remember Heidi even stated that she was fine with Jared pursuing someone else who wasn't Holly and then later they stopped being poly.

10. Heidi said Jared used the fact that he made more money over her. She also said that she and Jared had been together before Jared got big on YouTube. So claiming she was with him for money seems strange to me. Also, maybe not the wisest thing to bring up when Holly has brought up money struggles and when Ross was doing Grumps (and Holly's channel money went to her grandfather's healthcare) she was making less money than Ross so anyone could claim she stayed with Ross for money. See how easy it is to make claims? And this whole idea that she tried to isolate Jared and didn't let him 'have a life outside of her' doesn't seem believable when he had Normal Boots (talking about the guys not just the newish channel) and DCA. They claim she tried to isolate him when Jared clearly had many friends and was far from isolated.

10. They say Heidi 'ransacked' his house; Heidi says she went back to get some stuff she'd left because she had to move out quickly and Jared was out of town at the time. Holly tried to make it seem like Heidi wanted to go back and therefore she clearly wasn't abused. Who knows at this point? All that's for sure is Holly's claim was disgusting.

11. If Jared was so scared of Heidi, why did he make a statement about the divorce knowing that she'd she it even if he blocked her? Heidi said she wasn't going to say anything until she saw his statement and that he blocked her. It's funny to think that this wouldn't be happening if Jared had left it alone or just said they were getting a divorce and wanted to deal with it in private. Holly not responding about how she'd be there to suck his dick if she needed him would have helped too.

12. Just because you had a good experience with Jared doesn't mean everyone did. If someone jumped of a building and somehow ended up being completely fine after that doesn't automatically mean it's safe to jump off of buildings. Your personal experience doesn't not equal everyone's experience. I don't care if this helped you (which by the way just seems like a way of being like 'Jared helped me, he can't be a bad person because he helped me'). It was an abuse of power when he solicited nudes from his fans and minors may have been involved.

13. Mentioning Jared's mental health as a way to gain sympathy. Also, mental health is not an excuse. It can be an explanation, but if you do something that is harmful, especially to others, then you address it and get help. If you engage in risky behaviour then you get help. Jared could give his phone to someone else to stop him sexting people when depressed and fine other ways to distract himself. Additionally, to backtrack slightly, if you know that you are doing something that hurts others and don't try to stop; don't get help, then you are being abusive because you know what you're doing isn't right but you aren't trying to stop (this is more about Holly's behaviour in terms or harming others but Jared knew the risks he was taking in terms of minors possibly being involved and should have gotten help).

14. And lastly, let's go back to the fact that this person claims to be Holly's friend. Holly, who has proven many times how manipulative she can be; who has been called out for her toxic behaviour and lying. So can we trust a friend of Holly's? No. Not just because they may have false information but because they're biased anyway due to being her friend. Also, you know who else is a friend of Holly's? Her previous buisness partner who helped scam a cancer survivor. So yeah... I don't trust friends of Holly's.

#commander holly #holly conrad #commander holly is procancelled #projared #jared knabenbauer #projared is procancelled

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 4 years ago

Text

I Can NOT Believe This Youtuber....

okay I’m on the Xbox One, and I was playing a video game.

but then after saving, I decided to take a break.

and check out the Xbox One’s Youtube.

(which I am still wondering if the computer’s Youtube, has that setting where you can hide inappropriate stuff.)

anyway guess what I find...?

Helluva Boss Episode 4, BUT someone a certain Youtuber....

had uploaded it, not a clip, but the FULL episode.

that episode with the other episodes and pilot,

should only be on it’s Home Channel.

that is a property of Vivziepop.

the Youtuber who did such a thing, has about 226 subscribers.

the time they had uploaded March 23, 2021.

and by the looks of it, they did it to Episode 5 of Helluva Boss too.

on May 1, 2021.

even if I tell them what they are doing is wrong,

and there is somethings you can and can’t do with clips of Youtube Original Series made by it’s creators.

there is a possibility they wont listen.

and their actions, will cause someone to think the original episodes

came from them, if they didn’t check out the link below,

which is lucky in view and isn’t in the hidden where you will have to press “show more” button.

in the description part, in the copy of episode 4,

they tell those who are viewing

they wrote “Made By Viviziepop go sub to him or her“

and in the copy of episode 5,

they wrote "Made By Vivziepop go sub to him"

Youtube really REALLY needs to do better,

I’m not sure if [REDACTED] knows that there can be bad side effects to that.

I don’t have to worry about Camp Camp, Red Vs Blue, RWBY or Death Battle

too much, yeah they are still on Youtube, but at least they are safe on the official Rooster Teeth Site.

which is here --> https://roosterteeth.com/

and they should not call her “Him”

so unless that is her gender identity and she goes by the him/he pronouns,

they should either call her she/her or the neutral pronouns that is for everyone.

it’s not just what that person did, which I just found out today.

but EVERY Youtuber, who does the same thing that they are doing,

I don’t even think they even got permission,

which even if they asked, I don’t believe they would of been given the okay to do so.

there is some stuff you can do on Youtube, and some stuff you can’t.

I think if possible, maybe they can be reason with.

yes there is a chance they might say that nothing is wrong with what they are doing, but sorry to say that isn’t so.

like I said, some people will still do false reports and might not bother to read below.

if they end up seeing [REDACTED]’s copy of the episodes on their channel,

without even bothering to read the bottom of where the video came from.

and they end up seeing the episodes from their home channel,

they might do a false report.

and I am NOT letting that happen again to another person.

sure the Undertale amv is still up, but only the sub version

that the person who put the subs on there, but at least they got permission.

I did surprisingly found the original at another place, and I can only hope it was place by the original owner.

maybe nothing will happen for now,

but just in case, I believe that there needs to be a way to stop the many youtubers who keep doing that, and think they are not harming her and every other youtuber.

what some youtubers keep doing, by stealing other youtubers videos,

by placing a copy of the full videos on to their channels,

without permission, it can end up getting others mad.

at first I was going to write that episode stealing jerk on here,

but I rather not, so I edited the name out and put Redacted instead.

if I’m going to say who they are, then I will say this...

they are just like every youtuber who doesn’t do the fair use,

and just take a full copy of the episodes and then upload them on their channel.

and the one who did it, is from Canada.

at least not everyone from Canada is like that,

nor is the ones from here and the other places in the world.

I wonder if I might have distant cousins from Canada...?

maybe not but it is still possible I do and don’t know it,

there is a possibility I could have distant cousins from around the world, because of my different ancestors and heritages.

it isn’t just that youtuber that is the problem,

it’s every youtuber that keeps doing it.

I know there are others who feel the same way, and wish youtubers like them would stop.

yes Youtube still has some problems.

I would suggest Vimeo, but I'm not sure if that is for the best, yeah there does seem to have Helluva Boss episodes on the Vimeo.

but I don’t know if half of the people who had put them on Vimeo,

are part of the team that worked on Helluva Boss.

I wanted to try to check Vimeo, to see if Viv has a channel their,

and maybe see that as a alternative place to watch the episodes.

it doesn’t seem likely, which I guess is fine.

I’m still fine with watching the episodes and even other videos of theirs on youtube.

I’m not sure if I will watch stuff on Vimeo very much.

it kind of sucks that how this day was going so well,

until find another one of Those Youtubers, once again doing that...

and they better not touch the Arackniss Audio Series,

I’m will not be happy if AxelGear becomes another target for those jerks.

maybe I should just try to relax, and hope karma will deal with those jerks.

I think after I check out Xbox One’s Youtube,

I will watch Panty & Stocking, well maybe before that,

I could watch My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, no wait maybe I will watch a movie first.

maybe Deadpool, yeah I think I will watch Deadpool first.

then later I will watch the Arackniss Audio Series from the beginning.

also now that I know from a confirmation sign (ain’t saying what sign.)

that my soul name is Small Lilith, maybe I can try to see if I can have it changed....even if the name Lilith is a normal name now a days.

it doesn’t really help that my spiritual heritage is both a Earth Angel

and Succubus, and I have to protect myself dream walking, by the use of the dream catcher I got now, which is bigger than dream catchers I had before I think.

of course when I did sleep with dream catchers when I was little,

it was for different reasons.

plus I sleep with gems under my pillow, some which are gems shaped like angels.

I don’t think I use to sleep with bracelets on,

at least not until I had that one dream where I was still sleeping but it was like being awake at the same time, and all I could see was dark,

I was laying on my back, and then I felt something that felt way too real

and as soon as it happen, it scared me awake.

I think it might of been a incubus.

it’s fine that no one believes that or thinks that I’m worrying over nothing

and it was just a scary dream and nothing more.

but no matter if it was just a scary dream and it just felt too real,

I want to play it safe.

if someone like me, were to accidentally dream walk into another person’s dream, it will be because of the sexual energy and it will put me or anyone else like me, into a trance.

which of course if it was like the normal type succubus,

they would be the one doing the placing a trance on the dreamer that they walk into the dream of.

but for the hybrid souls, they will be the ones place in the trance,

the only way to keep anything happening, is to be fully aware and then not get close to the dreamer that you accidentally walked into the dream of,

and then hope you end up back into your own dream.

at least I know now that the reason why I never truly figured out I was Aceflux,

was because of the sexual energy of others.

I kind of want to flip Matron Lilith and Lesser Lilith, the birdies....

I might not agree with what Adam did to Lilith,

and she would of end up being fully healed thanks to the Earth-Heavenly Mother, if it weren’t for what happen.

of course when the Goddess took a piece of Lilith’s soul,

of course it will have traces of “succubus” in it and possibly along with Lilith’s still human soul, and that soul was mixed with the angel soul that Lilith was having romantic relationship with, and it created a Earth Angel Baby.

my soul isn’t very old, surprisingly it hasn’t done that much reincarnating.

so lucky me I was never the ones who I thought I was in a past life.

I’m just fragmented from their soul.

anyway I have my reasons as to why I can’t help but think of wanting to flip those two Lilith’s off, I mean someone who wouldn’t normally do that,

might end up be doing it because of stuff like what jerk youtubers are doing to other youtubers.

I will understand that many will agree about well the whole how a human can end up being a mix of a Earth Angel and Succubus.

or that they have energy wings that can go into flame mode when upset,

or the wings hug around them when they are upset or nervous or any form of mad or sad emotion.

I’m still human, even though my species identity is Demi-Human.

yes biologically I’m human, and my bio-sex is female.

but my gender identity is binary & nonbinary, which is a bigender identity.

I think it might be possible that my Gyno-Agender identity,

might become Feminine-Nonbinary, but it might stay Gyno-Agender.

plus it might be stereotyping to assume that Heaven will just look like,

well the sky and clouds.

that can be just one version, the other being that it looks like earth,

with trees, flowers and who knows what else.

I mean not everyone has to agree about my new views about it,

and you can respect my different view, just don’t call it blasphemy.

also I want to make sure there is no misunderstandings,

plus I want to only talk about this kind of stuff, maybe only once in a while.

I also want to make sure there is no really bad misunderstandings

that can go past the limit of being understanding to end up hurting others.

most of the time whenever I do say something,

it gets taken the wrong way in the worse way, and I end up having my feelings hurt to the point of crying.

I want to make sure to be more careful and try to make it so that my words are not misunderstood in the wrong way.

misunderstandings can be okay, so long as they are small and things can still be worked out the right way.

also maybe I will wait to watch the stuff that I said I would watch,

I mean I can pick something else to watch later.

I still need to color that Bendy drawing and then post it here,

I would of did it yesterday but I wasn’t able to.

so I plan to color it today and then post it on here later.

I think it is best that I try to see about trying to get my soul name changed, maybe in a few months or next year.

but I guess for now I just have to put up with it.

I think I will watch Hotel Transylvania, I can’t wait until the Hotel Transylvania 4.

it be nice if I could find my own zing one day,

and well I’m fine right now, plus if I ever do find my own zing one day,

they will need to respect my personal space when I need it,

be nice to my baby, aka my cat.

they would also need to understand that I need to go to my bedroom half the time, to protect myself as it is my safe zone.

also they would need to understand my different view of romance,

that romance between two people who love each other,

don’t always have to be all kissing all the time or the snu-snu.

it can also just have them hanging out and playing video games and watching movies or reading comic books or any type of book really.

I think I should only try to find my “zing” when I feel ready to.

and I don’t think I am.

love takes time, even to a heart that has been broken before.

ya can’t force it.

so I’m fine with having crushes on real people and not doing anything about it,

or even having crushes on characters from shows or movies.

and well there is a reason why I use “redacted” for the youtuber that stole those episodes...

it might be a bit sensitive, something that concerns and worries me.

maybe I can explain another time about it, like why I had decided to edit out their Youtuber name before posting this up.

I can be sensitive I know, my most dominant expression now

is what you will see on Frisk from the Undertale game.

I do smile and feel happy too, but I rather not smile unless I feel like it.

like if I think of a really funny joke, which I had the other day.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

I think I will wait until much later or tonight to watch Hotel Transylvania and the other stuff I plan to watch.

I think I will watch Arackniss Episode 1 to the other episodes, I mostly watch them not signed into Youtube.

also I have to say if I had to pick

who I would trust more, either my older cousin (who is in jail now, and is most likely a prison-wife possibly.)

or Valentino and Vox....

I’m gonna go with the two Overlords.

as dangerous as they might be, I don’t think they would cross a very dangerous line that my much older cousin did that got them thrown in jail in the first place.

I’m making sure to pray every once in a while

to both God and Goddess that he stays there for life.

I still think it is possible if I was listen to, about what I remembered from my childhood, which might of been a warning dream,

and if it was then I need to try to find out which Angel gave me that warning dream, and make sure they do NOT do that kind of warning dream again,

if they are gonna do that, make sure just say it and not let it be a kiss that ends up traumatizing and causing bad feelings where the child doesn’t talk about it to their family.

it is possible when we get traumatize as children,

we will bury the memories deep in our minds

and we wont remember until years later.

my older cousin wasn’t even in jail yet or did the crime yet,

my trying to tell my concern about them, came first.

and then some time later when we no longer had to worry about him,

we find out he did something really bad.

I don’t think it was a coincidence.

I don’t even think I was truly safe with half of my family.

maybe some of them, but not all of them.

I was just too oblivious and too trusting.

I’m gonna write one more thing up, so I will just post this up first...

and I hope that that youtuber that I had just found out about today,

who is stealing Vivziepop’s stuff, gets stop for good, and others like them.

and if I feel like explaining why I decided to put their name in Redacted, I will.

but right now I can’t.

and I’m sure if there has been anyone who has been hurt past the breaking point before, they might do the same thing as me and try to be cautious.

#vivziepop #stop stealing from vivziepop #stop youtubers from stealing from each other #talking about feelings

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youreader-aus · 4 years ago

Text

This is a long post with me rambling about a Spider-Man AU where Peter never was Spider man but instead Miles Morales is the og spiderman and they’re friends, so let’s get to it:

Miles was bitten by a random radioactive spider when he was like 20 years old and just got his powers when he saved 15 yo Peter Parker and his uncle Ben from a mugging (that in another universe would have killed Ben)

Miles was scrapped by a bullet and accidentally used his electric powers to subdue the guy

Miles was very scared of going to the hospital for the same reason he was struggling alone with his power despite having trustful friends and that was: he was scared

The x-men are a thing in this universe (like a known superhero group) but mutants still suffer a lot with discrimination so Miles knows powers are a thing that exists but doesn’t really know how to contact a mutant that could help him

Back to Miles meeting Ben and Peter:

Ben can’t convince him to go to a hospital and doesn’t press cause he’s a understanding and perceptive guy. He and Peter get him to their house so May can help him, tho

So this three strangers knows miles secret and he is very sus (politely ofc) about them but they promise him that his secret is safe and insists to show their gratitude someway (like a dinner or something), may also wants to makes sure the wound is healing properly so he kinda has to visit them again

They become friends, maybe the Parkers and Miles’ parents get to meet cause I love me some good friendship

Miles is a college student but I really don’t know enough about science to know which major he has but I know it has to do with robotics??? I know his best friend Ganke (also in college) studies software stuff and Peter’s major will have to do with biochem

Miles will start his vigilantism and Ganke will be the only one who knows that

I never read any comic but if I’m not mistaken Miles mother’s death is what motivated him? Just wanted you to know this didn’t happen here. I think of his parents pretty much as the ones in the spider verse movie (except his dad being a cop cause that makes me uncomfy)

I’ll put an almost death on his mother tho, when he was little or not even existed and she might have a scar or disability that makes Miles conscious about how even surviving violence can continue affecting people even after years

That, plus Ben stuff and knowing about heroes and the mutants inspires him to want to help people

Gorke, like in the comics(or at least is what wiki says) will help him with designing his spider suit and work with him in tech he uses

They’re making improvements as they go

Miles and Ganke are interns at Stark industries and there they occasionally work with Gwen Stacy who is a good friend and is very sus of them, she knows they’re hiding something

The internet, of course, is aware of the new vigilant that does lots of parkour, has cool powers and calls himself Spider-Man

And that’s how Peter finds about Spider-Man, he is very amazed by him and seeing videos he recognizes Miles because of the the way he talks (he uses a voice modifier) but also because he recognizes the powers

I didn’t mention Miles or Ganke making web fluid and that’s because it’s Peter’s creation

He’s in the final stages of creating it, like it’s mostly functional but smells bad and he’s correcting it? Idk shit tbh

He was going to use it as a registration for a stark program that pays for education or something (again, idk shit) but instead he gives it to Miles

He talks to him like “I know ur secret identity and if I conected the dots that easily it means that the moment ben and may know about Spider-Man they’ll know it you so you better tell them yourself on your own terms” which he does and helps a lot cause Ganke was helping him in the hero business but he’s not qualified to treat injuries like May is.

After giving Spider-Man his iconic webs and therefore the ability to swing around he is integrated as a tech support, he and Ganke get along very well

I love mcu Ned and my Peter is basically a mcu Peter with a twist so I want him to have a Ned (and MJ) and I know they pretty much made Ned based on Ganke but I’ll just close my eyes about it and they’ll both exist. Since i don’t know Ganke in the comics I’ll just use the little appearances he has in the spider verse movie as a guide for his personality (I like his design in the comics so I’m keeping it)

So Ganke is very focused, has really bad sleep habits (aka he doesn’t sleep), is very chill and has a dry sense of humor. He also has a resting bitch face.

He will be the introvert for Miles Extrovert and it’s pretty much that couple of friends that everyone thinks is very cool and kinda wish they could be friends with.

Miles and Peter banter a lot and have a kind of a siblings dynamics where Miles acts like an embarrassing big brother and Peter acts like he doesn’t like it (he also wanted siblings tho so he lives for it)

Peter was a bit scared of Ganke at first because he thought Ganke didn’t like him (cause of rbf) but after they start talking science and working on Spider-Man stuff together they get closer. They even find the Lego interest they have in common and he, Ned and Ganke start to hang out to construct their things (I also don’t know shut about legos lol)

Ned pretty much sees Ganke and Miles as ‘cool college people that are kinda my best friends older brothers?’ And likes them a lot

Ned has no idea Miles is Spider-Man BUT he knew Peter was working on the web fluid and even helped occasionally with brainstorming.

It’s because of Ned that Miles finds out peter was going to use the web fluid project to get a scholarship and feels bad about it, Peter insists it’s ok and that saving lives and stopping violence is more important

Back to Ned:

When Peter stopped giving him updates about his project and not long after Spider-Man started to swing Ned connected the dots and was like “Peter u have a secret to tell me? U can trust me I would never judge u for having superpowers and I can keep your secret identity a secret” to which Peter was so surprised he blurted something about giving the web fluid for Spider-Man

He convinces Ned that he just thought it would be perfect and wandered at night till he met Spider-Man and gave it to him, Ned is only half convinced Peter is not Spider-Man

He doesn’t tell Ned he knows Spider-Man identity but Ned knows for sure Peter is the one to make Spider-Man’s web fluid

Peter feels very guilty about lying to Ned and also feels guilty for saying anything at all about Miles secret, he tells him and while Miles is concerned he is also very amused (he knows Ned can’t be discreet, he’s worse then Peter who is already awful at lying but the situation where Ned was convinced Peter was Spider-Man is pretty funny, Peter is ofc too clumsy to be Spider-Man)

Spider-Man works with some of the Avengers a couple of times before Bruce (or Tony? or both) ask about his tech and webs

He tells them he works on his tech but has help of some people and that the web fluid is a creation of a high schooler that gives it to him (he says the same story Peter told Ned)

He is very impulsive when he says it and almost regrets it immediately (cause it could compromise his secret identity) but when Banner is impressed Miles goes on about how the kid would use it for the science money program thing Bruce is like “give me his name, I’ll make Tony sponsor him”

Miles does, he’s aware of how much this might compromise his identity but he knows Tony stark probably already knows his identity (or could know if he wanted) and is only being polite about not mentioning it.

He does ask Tony when they talk about it to not officially put Peter as the web creator cause he doesn’t want Peter to be focus of any of his enemies.

Tony hires Peter as an intern, not the first high school intern but it’s very rare but he also convinces Miles to say who more helps him with the tech, he reasons that hiring them and making they work on it in a professional place will give them more resources

Them Miles gives his own name and Ganke’s too.

Miles identity is like a secret the avengers (or at least Bruce and Tony) knows about but no ones talks about how they know.

I’m not sure I want to go deep into the ‘is ilegal to be a vigilant’ thing so let’s just say: Spider-Man is Avenger-adjacent, he’s affiliated to them but is not an official Avenger and has permission from shield to work as a hero (I like to think Tony helps hide Miles identity from shield)

That’s all I have about this AU for now, I’m gonna call it Earth 222 because I like the number ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so anything I write about it will be tagged as Earth 222

I’m not sure about writing more but I might, I really like Aaron (Miles uncle) in the spider verse movie and might want to integrate him to this somehow? I also could expand on Gwen and MJ and Wade Wilson (deadpool) but lets see

#Now I have to figure out how my tagging system will work #Earth 222 #Spider-Man AU #Miles Morales #Peter Parker #plot ramble #Minor Ganke Lee #Minor Ned Leeds #minor as in ‘not a a lot of content’#tbh this all started bc I was daydreaming about the ‘Peter Parker’s field trip to stark industries’ trope #and wanted Peter to actually be just an intern and not having to hide being Spider-Man #but them I putted Miles in this cause I love he #and them this all happened #long post #my post

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rageagainstthemarine · 7 years ago

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Do Not Reach Beyond the Sky (11/?)

Warnings: None Tags: Canon-typical violence, Freeform, Retelling, Original Characters, Additional Tags Pairing: None yet Characters: All of them

Fahleon Lavellan is several things, a Dalish elf, a deserter Warden, but Herald of Andraste is not of them. The Creators have played a cruel trick if anyone is to believe he played some part of the Conclave even if the evidence is a rift-sealing mark on his hand. Where he does fit, he doesn’t know and isn’t fond of finding out.

Previous|Current|Next

Fahleon's schedule was cleared after an armful of blankets, a cart full of ram, and the ransack of two templar settlements. He dumped the supplies at the edge of the Crossroads and left to see to the rest of his headache back in Haven.

"Val Royeaux," Leliana sighed, a bit too dreamily and a bit too close to his ear. Fahleon picked up his pace and his frown tightened when she kept up. His shorter legs tired after a few steps and his ear twitched at the laugh under his breath. "The Chantry spokesmen have agreed to gather in the square."

A gathering. The thought left a bad taste in his mouth, but calling it a meeting or a council didn't have any of the venom in the word either. A charade. A farce. Fahleon dragged his tongue across the edge of his teeth. That sounded more like the nest of vipers he was walking into - pushed into. So long as it was short he didn't care what she called it.

Josephine was waiting within the war room, one hand splayed across the corner of a map to smooth the curled edges flat, the other tapping away against her tablet with the tip of her quill. Fahleon gave it a brief glance, refusing to show interest in it and too distracted by the uneven pattern of her quill to try to puzzle out the meaning of the haphazard squiggles. She'd explain it to him, anyway, whether he asked her to or not. Fahleon leaned a hip against the table and didn't have to wait long for one. He rubbed at a temple.

"Having the Herald address the clerics may not be such a terrible idea," she started, trailing off. She pursed her lips when she raised her eyes to him and Fahleon lifted a shoulder. It wouldn't be a terrible idea if the Chantry didn't mind a few of their flock returning without their tongues.

"You can't be serious," Cullen laughed with a sweep of his arms. Fahleon kept his mouth shut on his agreement, if it meant he could take the tongues from the first brother or sister that wagged one at him.

"You have to agree that Mother Giselle isn't wrong," Josephine argued. She put the quill down and let the map roll in on itself as she folded her hands in front of her. "At this moment, at least. It is true that the Chantry's only strength is that they are united only in opinion."

He shoved her argument away with another wave of his hand. "You're asking us to just ignore the threat to the Herald?"

Fahleon's lip curled at the title and pulled into a proper sneer when Cullen turned all the way to look at him. If the templar, ex or not, was looking for approval, he wouldn't get it. Not verbally, at least. He'd rather not meet the Chantry people, whether they were willing to talk or were just there for the show of it. He'd rather not meet another sunrise in Haven, either, but he had no say in the matter.

"We'll ask him," Josephine, said, smug, and his refusal was more of a question than a demand. He felt off balance under her scrutiny. The change left him dizzy and he furrowed his brow when she raised an eyebrow. Cullen covered his mouth with a fish and gave a polite cough.

"I won't-" he started to repeat himself, but she cut him off with a shake of her head.

"You won't die just because they don't like you."

"I'll go with you," Cassandra said, stated more like, following the groan of the great wooden doors as she finally entered the room. Her arms were crossed even before she'd lifted her chin to look down on Fahleon. He bristled under her gaze, the hairs on his arms lifting at her proximity. He didn't need her protection anymore than he needed her permission - not that her protection meant much. Not when she was always one twitch of her fingers from cutting his throat. "Mother Giselle said she would provide us with names and she has. Use them," she added with a sense of finality that left him fuming.

Still, his input meant little, as if he wasn't the only being in Thedas with the power to save it from...something. Fahleon blew out a breath.

"I don't think we need to go that far. This is only-"

Cassandra interrupted Leliana with an impatient noise. "We must use everything available to us. Josephine has told us that we cannot approach for anyone for hope with the Breach. For now, we can, however, use the influence we do have with the clerics provided to call them together. Once they are ready, we will see this through."

It didn't take long for the clerics to prepare themselves, and whether that was a sign of interest or underestimation had yet to be seen. The letter that reached Haven within a fortnight had all the necessary details of the meeting place and time, withholding any condescending language and Fahleon took it with confidence. Unless Leliana had taken out those parts when she'd read it to him. He frowned. His confidence in the clerics hadn't been high at the start, anyway. It didn't have far to fall. And so he stared, uneasily, up at a horse again but without Scout Harding to lend him a hand up. He remembered most of the process, and though he was none less graceful as Varric or Solas as he righted himself with as minimal fidgeting as he could, he was more than glad to struggle than to accept Cassandra's offer of help.

She settled her glare to a point somewhere just beyond her own horse's head and took over the other aspect of Harding's job and explained Val Royeaux's current state.

"The city still mourns," she started, and Fahleon let her words buzz idly in the back of his head. The journey to the city would take half the time it had to get to Redcliffe, and his thighs appreciated the brief and easy ride down the mountains. He'd almost gotten used to the pattern of the horse's sway beneath him until it stopped, suddenly, and he wobbled to stay upright. A scout raised her arms in front of her face, pacifying.

"You're one of Leliana's people," Cassandra said, dismounting. "What have you found?"

"The Chantry mothers await you, but...so do a great many templars," the scout reported.

"The templars? Here?"

"Maybe they intend to hear us out as well. Or to help," Solas offered.

The scout's mouth twisted and she shook her head. "The people seem to think the templars with protect them from...from, well, the Inquisition."

Cassandra's frown deepened - if it had changed it all. Her scowl curled into outright disgust and Fahleon crossed his arms out of habit. His fingers brushed against the fletching his arrows and he rolled his shoulders just to reassure him of the weight of the bow at his back. He wouldn't say he understood his ire - he rarely understood any of the activity occurring around him - but he knew enough that the templars were not here to help the Inquisition. Nor the people gathered to watch the Chantry clerics spit and poke at the Herald. The templars must have recognized what little weight the Inquisition had to throw around and had come to have their fun alongside the mothers. Let them, then. It meant little to him and when the demons gnawed that their pointing fingers he'd feel no remorse looking away.

"They're gathering on the other side of the market," the scout said as she rose out of a bow. She dipped her head a second time. "I think that's where the templars intend to meet you, as well. If you'll follow," she added, with a third bob of her head. Cassandra snorted.

"What else are we to do?" she asked, and Fahleon had the idea it wasn't to turn right around and ignore the templars. She started ahead towards the large, golden gates that separated the city from the rest of Orlais, and he had little choice but to follow after. If she was to decide everything, it was only fair that she spoke instead of him. The snarl he'd prepared might have scared the mothers, but it would do nothing but amuse the templars. That display would only make the Inquisition look the joke that it was. Fahleon shook his hand out before digging his nails into the meat of his palm as the mark burned. He clenched his fist tighter with every flinch of the people they passed. They jumped out of the way for them - or, him, specifically. The Herald. The harbinger of heresy. His lip quirked at the thought.

"I think they know who we are, Seeker," Varric drawled, and Cassandra scoffed.

"I am always impressed by your perception," she said with a roll of her eyes. Varric grinned and tossed a look at Fahleon. He almost returned it, until he caught himself.

"It can't be any worse than the grattifi on these statues," he continued, and jerked a thumb at the plague of the closest one. Fahleon made out one of the words etched within the metal workings, and raised his brow at the picture, more crudely added, chipped below it. Cassandra's red face made his clear his throat until the chuckle that threatened to escape subsided.

"Focus. I know Lord Seeker Lucius. I can't imagine him supporting the Chantry after everything that has happened. He must have his own agenda in mind." She paused and glanced at the scout just a step ahead. "Return to Haven and alert them if we are...delayed."

Fahleon rolled his eyes and pushed past Cassanda and the scout to enter the square. It was crowded with the masses of the foolish, the faithful, and the foolishly faithful. It wasn't difficult to tell them apart. The clerics wore robes similar to the Chancellor's, all white and close-fitting, marred only by the red, rising sun stitched along the hem. The rest wore a mockery of clothes. Dresses wider than a druffalo's rump spread out along the cobblestones, more reflective than the shallow pools of the dozen fountains that marked each turn of Val Royeaux's bazaar. The men were more reasonably dressed except for the shoes the wore, and all hid their faces behind gold-painted masks. It made Fahleon's eyes hurt to look at them, but the sight at the end of them was even worse. An elevated speaking platform had been erected at the edge of the square and already several of the clerics had gathered above it. Taunts and condolences fell from their lips like spoiled molasses.

"...our Divine," one of the Chantry woman was saying, louder and sweeter than the rest. "Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will happen to her murderer? Well wonder no more!" The small space amongst the throng Fahleon had wedged himself into felt too large under the glare of her eyes. It widened when she pointed a finger at him as the people drew back, gasping and glaring. Fahleon didn't raise to the bait. He'd been given worse just for the shape of his eyes - the accusation of murder wasn't the first offense he'd been charged with - but killing a Divine had a better ring to it than stealing children for soup. He met her sharp gaze with a lift of his chin. "Behold the so called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell! We say this is a false prophet! The Maker would not send us an elf in our hour of need!"

There it was. He'd been wondering when she'd fall back on his race.

He felt Cassandra close in behind him, but he didn't need her near to stop himself from spitting out his own choice words in retaliation. It wouldn't do him, or the Inquisition, any favors. Demanding their tongues would make him feel better, though.

"The Inquisition seeks only to end the madness of the Breach before it is too late," Cassandra argued. Fahleon nodded and the Chantry cleric pursed her lips.

"Your Herald hides his lies behind others, it seems. But it is already too late to prove yourselves." She waved an arm and the platform filled with silver armor and flaming swords. "The templars have at long last returned to the Chantry. They will face this 'Inquisition' and the people will be safe once more!"

"Incorrect," one of the templars said. Fahleon didn't blink as he shoved his way forward, knocking one cleric to the floor when she got in his way. Behind him, Fahleon heard Cassandra hiss out the Lord Seeker's name under her breath.

"Lucius, it is imperative that I speak with-"

"You will not address me," he snapped, and Fahleon had never seen Cassandra lose her balance so quickly before. It was...unsettling, at the least, to watch her brows knit together and her mouth hang open. It wasn't a feeling of victory or smugness that filled his stomach with something bitter, and he almost wished it was. "Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet in Andraste's name...you should be ashamed of yourself. You all should be ashamed! The templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages. You are the ones who have failed," he said, turning to look down at the cleric at his feet. "You, who would leash our righteous swords with doubt and with fear." His face was shaded with the deepness of his scowl when he faced the Inquisition. "If you came to appeal to the Chantry then you are too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is mine!"

Fahleon scratched at cheek and glanced briefly over his nails. They'd never been even, but they'd grown more chipped and black since working with the Inquisition - and much more interesting than whatever a templar had to demand of him. "Any other speeches? Like why you came here, then?"

The Lord Seeker snorted. "I came to see what frightens these old women so - and to laugh."

A whisper started up within the crowd of templars, doubt or fear or uncertainty. They hadn't known this reason, it seemed, but Lucius silenced their questions with a glare. "You are called to a higher purpose. Do not question it. For I will make the templar Order a power that stands, alone, against the Void. We deserve independence. We deserve recognition. This Inquisition has shown me nothing that can do this for us. It has shown me less than nothing and it will not be protected by the templar Order. Val Royeaux will not be protected. We march!"

"Isn't he a charming fellow," Varric chuckled, dryly, and Fahleon grunted an agreement. The templars took no time in collecting their helmets and descending the platform after the Lord Seeker. He led them through a long, winding path through the streets like it was some kind of parade, a show of power, a denial of that the city had lost. A show. Of power, of shame. It wasn't much, in his own opinion. Yet, fear was plain on the people's face, even behind their masks, and it only grew when they turned to see the Inquisition was still among them. There was no one between them, now, no Chantry, no templars...it wasn't as effective a lesson as cutting down a demon in front of their eyes, but it worked. He watched a few of the nobles turn their faces up to the sky, up to the Breach, and shiver.

"Lord Seeker Lucius has gone made," Cassandra added, distant. "He was always something of a decent man. He has never given in to ambition or grandstanding after he took over from Lord Seeker Lambert's death but...maybe I have misjudged him. This is all...very bizarre."

"There's a hole in the sky and demons are popping out of the Fade like weeds. I don't think one man thinking he's better than everyone else qualifies as bizarre anymore, Seeker," the dwarf pointed out, but he shook his head with a sigh and crossed his arms. "Well, so much for Curly's plan of getting help from the templars. It doesn't look like they'll be any good to us after all."

"As if they would have been from the start," Solas commented. Varric gave him a small smile.

"I wouldn't write them off too quickly," Cassandra frowned. "There must still be some still left in the Order that has seen what he has become. They could still listen to reason."

"Or they're all just as crazy," Varric said, and Fahleon snorted.

"The mages could be no less worse. But they also might be more willing to listen."

"To Redcliffe, then?" Solas asked, and Cassandra nodded, hesitant, eyes still far away. She still flung an arm out in front of herself and Fahleon snarled at the sudden touch, halfway to shoving her off when an arrow embedded itself into the cobblestone in front of his feet. He stepped back in a hurry and snapped his head to the buildings above him to look for a shooter, but in the crowd still lingering it was difficult to point anyone out. He turned back to the arrow and watched Varric pluck a note from the shaft.

"You're going to want to read this, Smiles."

#dragon age inquisition #dragon age inquisition fanfiction #inquisitor lavellan #cassandra #varric #solas #leliana #josephine #cullen #fahleon #my writing #fanfiction #dragon age #dragon age fanfiction #do not reach beyond the sky fic

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bregee13 · 8 years ago

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Hide and Sneak

Hunter did what he could to prepare for the next day. He dug through the entire house and found a pocket watch. Polly snuck up behind him. "What the rapo is THAT for?" "Hey, gotta time you somehow!" He lied. He needed it to time himself. "Why can't I time myself!? I'm trustworthy, aren't I?" Hunter laughed. If she was in charge of timing herself, she'd probably cheat. Polly gave him the stink eye. "And YOU wouldn't cheat?" Hunter shook his head. He would never do such a thing. ...She did have a point though. "Alright fine! Do you have any good ideas?" "How about..." Polly took the watch from Hunter. "...if I'm not timed... at all?" Hunter's eyes widened. There's no way this could work without that watch. "Wha?" He quickly took back the watch. "D-don't you want to measure your progress?" "Progress?" "Y-yeah! ...Don't you wanna show off your skills?" "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE BEST!" "Uhh... But now you can get proof of it!" "They don't need proof to know I'm a good seeker!" "Well uh... They need proof that... uh... you can find ME!" "No they don't. Everyone knows you're easy to find!" "...Not anymore!" He lied. "And who's gonna believe that?" That's true, saying Hunter became a hide and seek master overnight is pretty ridiculous. But maybe... "Maybe if people saw it, they'd believe it!" Polly paused to consider the thought. "Yeah... Yeah! That could work! It'd take time, but yeah!" Hunter grinned. It looks like he actually came up with a decent idea for once! Polly rushed her way out the door. "I'll go see if anyone wants to join in!" As soon as she showed up, Polly left.

Hunter looked down at the pocket watch in his hands. 'What have i got myself into? Now I have to be extremely careful...' The ticking of the watch soothed Hunter's ears. He took a deep breath and sighed. 'The Twilite Wood... It'll make everything worth it. I know it.' He continued to search the house. It wasn't long until he found a pen and notebook. Hunter picked up the notebook. It looked completely untouched. No scribbles, no wrinkles, nothing. 'Is this dad's?' He looked to see if anyone was around. He didn't want to take it, but.... 'I could really use this... Besides, dad can get another one.' Hunter put the notebook and pocket watch under his pillow for safe keeping. He sat down on his bed and thought if that was all he needed. Well, it pretty much was. But was it everything he wanted? ...No. No it wasn't. But what more could Hunter want? 'Well, a chair would be nice...' Okay, a chair. That can't be too hard, right? 'And a shovel and pail! To dig stuff up!' Okay, there's already a shovel and pail for the beach. Who's to say it can't work with dirt? 'And some food! And toys! And the entire house!' Okay, now Hunter was getting a bit ahead of himself. Hunter stopped himself from getting too carried away, and tried to think. 'When I go to the wood, what will I need to enjoy my visit?' He looked at his surroundings and thought. 'Standing up all the time would be a pain... And there's no way I'll let myself fall aslee... I mean rest my eyes again. A chair would be more than helpful. ...But how am I doing this?' He searched the house for an extra chair nobody would care about. There's no way he could take one from the dining table, everyone would notice. As he searched around, Hunter came across some of the items his dad made for the villagers. 'Maybe I shouldn't be in here...' Despite protesting against it, Hunter searched through the workshop for a chair he could use. He finally found what he was looking for and thought about what to do next. 'Now what? I can't just wait to take it there... I'll have to take it now. ...in broad daylight. ...Maybe this was a bad idea... Dad worked real hard on this...' Hunter looked out the window at the forest gate's direction. Nobody seemed to be around. He looked at the stool in front of him. '...He won't miss one, right?' Hunter took the stool out the front door.

Taking a deep breath, Hunter moved towards the Forest Gate. On his way there, he constantly stopped to look around. If anyone caught him taking this stool to the Forest Gate, it's game over. Hunter had to be extra careful. He walked close to the trees just in case he needed to hide. Out of the corner of his eye, Hunter saw a flicker of motion. He looked at the direction the movement came from, and saw Polly. Luckily for him, she didn't seem to notice him. Panicked, Hunter haphazardly hid the chair within the trees. Polly, hearing the rustling of branches, turned around to find Hunter standing there. "Hunter? What are you doing here?" Hunter did what he could to not look back at the stool and give himself away. "...Oh! Just getting ready for tomorrow!" Polly could tell he was hiding something. "You're not going to hide there are you?" Hunter nervously smiled. "...I can't say!" Polly raised an eyebrow. 'What is he hiding to act this weird?' Hunter nervously laughed. "So... What are you doing here?" "I was finding rapos to help seek. That's what I was doing!" "Oh! ..Did you find a lot?" "... Not really." Polly asked plenty of people, but nobody wanted to join them. Hunter laughed. 'So much for being a good seeker!' Polly grew angry at the smirk on Hunter's face. "Hey! I know what you're thinking! Stop it!" Hunter's smile disappeared. "...sorry." Hunter then noticed something in Polly's hand. "What's that?" "Hmm? Oh!" Polly raised her arm and opened her fist to reveal a pocket watch. "I got a timer of my own now!" She spun the watch by it's chain. "Took a while, but NOW it'll be fair." Hunter looked at the watch. It looked a little familiar to him, but he wasn't sure why. 'It doesn't look like mine, so why is it so familiar?' "Cool! ...Where'd you get it?" Polly jumped a little. She didn't get permission to borrow the watch. She just... took it. '...I mean, Hunter stole HIS watch. How is he any better? I mean, I'll take it back. ...Sooner or later.' She tried to stand as straight as she could. "I found it on the ground! Fair and square!" Hunter could hear her voice shake a little. A small part of him wanted to know more, but he ended up shrugging it off. 'Maybe she's just nervous? Oh well, none of my business. ...Besides, I got other things to worry about.' "Nice!" An awkward silence put a stop of to their conversion. Hunter began to fidget in place. He really wanted to get this over with. "...I gotta go... Uh..." "...Scope out the village?" "Yeah! That!" "Good luck tomorrow!" "You too!" The two began to go their separate ways.

Hunter slowly walked away from the scene. He kept his eye on where he hid the stool, but kept walking. He had to make sure Polly wasn't looking when he went back for it. As soon as he thought the coast was clear, he made a dash for the line of trees where the chair was hiding.

Polly went on her way back home. She didn't have any other plans, and wanted to take a break before the next day. She just hoped her parents weren't back home yet. After all, there's no way she wanted them to know about the watch she borrowed. Once she had gotten close to the house, she saw her parents close by talking to the mayor. Polly quickly backed away and hid from the grown Raposa. She overheard them speak. "...I'm so sorry we couldn't help ya Mayor. I ain't got an idea of where it may be." "Oh ho ho... It's fine. It's just so strange. One minute it's there, the other it disappears." "Perhaps that Zsasha fellow took it?" "Nah, no way. Not in broad daylight." "I'll have to keep looking. Maybe Mari took it. She can be so mischievous for such a young girl." "We promise to look out for it sir." Polly looked at the watch in her hand and sighed. She couldn't bear to face them after what she did. She snuck away as fast as she could, squeezing the watch to silence it. She didn't have anything to do, so she began to wander the village. Besides, maybe she'll find Hunter's hiding spot.

Not wanting to get caught again, Hunter kept moving through the trees, out of sight. The Forest Gate felt so far away, yet he was almost there. He slowly crept out of the trees, dragging the stool along with him. He looked up at the gate, and pushed it open. Once he entered the Twilite Wood, he set down the stool and stretched. After a moment of taking in his surroundings, Hunter picked the stool back up, and carried it to his new hideout.

Polly walked all over the village, looking for any place a rapo could use to hide. 'If I can remember all these spots, I'll find him for sure!' When she looked just about everywhere, she went on her way back home. On her way there, Polly heard a strange creaking sound. The sound came from the Forest Gate's direction. She squeezed the pocket watch and decided to check it out. When she got there, no rapo could be found. She walked up to the gate and inspected it. 'Somebody just used it. Nobody's here, so they must've went in. Better not be Hunter. If he's hiding outside town, I'm going to kick his butt!' She put her hand on the gate. 'I'll catch that cheater if it's the last thing I do!' She was just about to open the door, when she felt someone tap on her shoulder. Polly stood frozen in place. Her parents would never allow her to enter a warp gate. That, and she was still holding the stolen pocket watch. Her hands began to sweat. Whoever this was, they're going to get her in serious trouble. It took everything she could to turn around and greet this mystery raposa. Right behind her stood Hunter. 'Hunter!? But I thought... How is he here!?!' Hunter smiled. "What are you doing?" Polly was shocked. "N-nothing! Just checking out the gate!" Hunter looked up at the gate. "...Pretty, isn't it?" "Yup! A real wonder." "...You weren't thinking of entering it, were you?" Polly jumped a little. "Oh no! No! I wasn't going to do that!" "That's good! I was scared I had to tell mom!" Hunter laughed. "Cmon! Let's go home!" Polly looked back at the gate, and followed her brother home.

As the two walked home, Hunter smiled out of relief. 'Thank Creator that's over with. That was really close. I can't believe I pulled that off... And I thought I would be the one to be caught off guard. Good thing I hid just before she showed up. If I didn't, it would've ruined everything. *sigh* That short trip wasn't close to being long enough. I hope all this struggle is worth it. ...Why do I feel like it will be?'

#drawn to life #dtl #Fan characters #drawn to life ocs #MY OCs #why do I keep writing these?#I should be writing for school! Not for fun!#Hgcjtgkv #Hunter #Polly

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jheselbraum · 8 years ago

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Legit confused anon, I know Bitch Hartman tends to be a bad writer but what else has he done to scare the fanbase so badly?

Alright dear anon, sit down, Grandpa Leo is going to tell you a little story about the Olden Days.

You know how hellish the SU fandom is with their shipping? Remember that drama the GF fandom had regarding authorial intent? Imagine that but with a creator that’s actually homophobic and actively antagonizes and aggravates the fanbase.

Basically, way back in the early 2000s, Hartman was (from what i recall) somewhat active on certain forums, where most of the Danny Phantom fans hung out (Danny Phantom’s original run was 2004-2007 if that gives you an idea of what The Internet was like back then. Facebook was just starting to get popular, smartphones weren’t really a thing yet, etc).

So at some point, someone asked him how he felt about fanfiction, because these were Dark Days when people plastered disclaimers all over their fanfics so they wouldn’t get sued (you know, that thing that you youngsters keep complaining about whenever you find one in a particularly old fanfic: It’s there so we don’t get sued), and knowing where a creator stood on these issues was Important Information.

Now, I wasn’t old enough to be online unsupervised yet (I was nine when Danny Phantom first came out and my parents were strict) and I took the whole ‘you must have your parents permission to make an account’ thing very seriously so it wouldn’t be until about 2007-2008 until I discovered the concept of fandom (during my Speed Racer phase) and by then the Danny Phantom fans were already in the thick of it. I don’t recall exactly what he said, but the gist of it is this:

“I don’t mind fanfiction and fanart as long as no one’s gay”

This, naturally, caused a Ruckus (they were called ‘ship wars’ at the time, I don’t know if the term’s changed or not but boy was it Bad), for multiple reasons, the most important of which being: many actually LGBT people view the show as a metaphor for a closeted gay kid who’s afraid to come out to his parents, which is why the revelation.

This was about the only valid viewpoint in the whole debacle.

It wasn’t the popular pick.

I’d say something along the lines of “fans can write their fanfic as gay as they want it to be” but, to be honest, fanfic is not the guarantee we think it is. A lot of people take their creative freedom for granted these days. The idea of fanfiction existing as it is now was unthinkable back then. No one would have said anything even close to that.

No, the Sides in this ruckus weren’t so noble.

See, almost everyone who was mad at each other over this was straight.

These were Homophobic and Proud Straight Fans fighting with MLM-Fetishizing Yaoi Fans.

It was a vicious cycle and both sides were as wrong as they were right. (Put down your pitchforks I’ll explain in a sec)

On the one hand, the Homophobic and Proud straight fans would cite authorial intent and ‘moral superiority’ as reasons why fanfiction Shouldn’t Be Gay.

On the other, MLM-Fetishizing Yaoi Fans correctly called foul on Hartman’s homophobia, but in response flooded deviantart and ffn (AO3 didn’t exist yet) with yaoi.

Now, for those of my followers who are too young to have really seen Danny Phantom, here’s a tidbit of information:

Danny Fenton has two best friends (Sam and Tucker), a sister (Jazz), a clone-sister (Dani), and another main friend who sometimes wants to kill him but when he’s not a ghost she wants to smooch him (Valerie. It’s hard to explain). Excluding the sister and the clone-sister, that leaves Sam Tucker and Valerie as the main potential love interests, as they are all reasonably attractive, form close bonds with the main character, and are all Danny’s age (remind me to go into detail on the Fandom Hierarchy of Attraction later).

So naturally, most of the Homophobic and Proud shippers shipped Danny with either Sam or Valerie, both of whom got some nice canon interactions. It should be noted that Valerie is black and for some reason more people ship Danny with Sam, who is white but also Early 2000s Jewish, which is to say: you would never know she was Jewish unless you watched the holiday episode, so she’s at the very least white-passing. Read into that what you will.

So you’d think that the MLM-Fetishizing Yaoi Fans would have adored Danny and Tucker right? Wrong. Tucker is also black, therefore, no one really shipped him with anyone (sometimes Valerie, sometimes Dani, who is biologically about 12 but also a clone so she’s actually maybe about six months old). Nah, the yaoi fangirls just loved shipping Danny, a 14 year old, with the main villain, a man named Vlad who is literally old enough to be Danny’s dad. Vlad’s entire character arc revolves around him trying to kill Danny’s actual dad, marry his mom, and become his new dad.

Essentially, all the actually gay people in the fandom got pushed to the sidelines as any cries of homophobia from our supposed ‘allies’ were met with ‘you literally ship a 14 year old kid with a 40 year old man and we’re not listening to you.’ so excuse me for not liking incest shippers who do the same thing

This lasted for years. I think it finally died down around 2010, 2012 maybe? It went on for a while though.

And it all started because Hartman couldn’t keep his homophobic mouth shut.

Basically, as much as I complain about Hirsch and the GF fandom and the SU fandom, you couldn’t pay me to go back to the phandom during that nonsense.

#fandom history #homophobia #Anonymous

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recentanimenews · 6 years ago

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Raphtalia and Filo’s Voice Actors Discuss Shield Hero’s Pivotal Moments

This piece was originally published on WebNewtype and is republished on Crunchyroll News with permission from KADOKAWA.

From The Rising of the Shield Hero

The Rising of the Shield Hero is a currently airing popular TV anime series. Here we’ll be presenting an interview with Asami Seto, who voices Raphtalia, and Rina Hidaka, who voices Filo. In the first part we’ll talk to the voice actors about the story up until the turning point that occurs in Episode 4 and about the appeal of Raphtalia’s character.

Let’s look back at the beginning of the first half of the series, I’d like to ask specifically about the story as it revolves around Raphtalia. First, what were your impressions of Episode 1?

Hidaka: Filo doesn’t appear in those episodes, so I think I looked at it the same way as the viewers thinking, “So this is how Naofumi’s personality was from the beginning,” and “Wow, Myne is awful!”

Seto: You just can’t help but feel sorry for Naofumi.

Hidaka: I was really surprised by Myne and the other heroes, it’s rare for characters to be that infuriating (laughs).

Seto: Yeah, it makes your heart hurt because Naofumi was just looking forward to adventuring in this other world; why does he have to have so many awful things happen to him like this?

Hidaka: In my line of work I get to be involved with a lot of different anime, but there are very few where you’re surrounded by enemies to such a degree. However, there is the word “rising” in the title of the anime, so I look forward to seeing how Naofumi will prove himself to everyone.

Raphtalia appears at the end of Episode 1 and in Episode 2 she becomes Naofumi’s partner and we get to see her maturing.

Seto: At first Raphtalia is such a young girl and it wasn’t the type of role that I do very often, so when it finally came time to watch it on air I felt kind of embarrassed (laughs). But I was relieved after the staff told me that the show was receiving positive feedback.

Hidaka: Raphtalia was so cute! By the time I entered postrecording she’d already grown up into this cool, reliable old sister figure, so seeing her injured, weak and experiencing trauma was very sad but also a totally different experience.

Seto: That’s true, in Episode 2 Raphtalia has a lot of scenes where she’s scared, and I wondered to myself why does this girl have to go through such awful things?

Hidaka: But for all she suffered, it just made her look that much cuter when she started eating her kids’ meal and wiggling her tail.

Seto: I love that scene! Not just Raphtalia, Naofumi is great in that scene too. He doesn’t just feed her, he also gives her a ball too, it made me feel like despite the fact that his heart is dark and closed off, he still has kindness left and it gave me hope for their future.

Actually, in the script of the scene where she’s eating the kids’ meal there were stage directions that said, “Say it very cutely.” It was where Raphtalia was asked, “Does it taste good?” And she answers back, “Yes!”

Hidaka: This series really raises the bar, doesn’t it?

Seto: I remember feeling an incredible amount of pressure.

Was there anything in particular you had in mind when you were acting as the outwardly grown-up Raphtalia?

Seto: When she matures and her relationship with Naofumi deepens, she has this particularly overbearing motherlike quality that comes out. At first Naofumi was the one saving her all the time, but now she’s the one prioritizing him over herself. I wanted to make sure and maintain that motherly aspect.

Once she matures, her and Naofumi grow really close to one another, don’t they?

Seto: Of course she still has those scars and moments of anxiety left from when she was younger, but her feelings of love and loyalty toward Naofumi steadily grow stronger. That isn’t distinctly expressed in the character’s lines, so I hoped to demonstrate her level of affection and attachment by being conscious of the distance between them and the pacing of their conversations.

Hidaka: You’re really amazing, Seto-chan. The same goes for Kaito Ishikawa as well, but when words like “Yes” appear in the script you don’t just act them as-is, you personally ask the staff and make your own proposals like, “What’s the character’s intention as they’re saying this line?” “Can I try doing it this way?” Seeing both of you do that was very inspiring for me.

On that note, was there something that particularly stood out to you in your interactions with the staff?

Hidaka: Raphtalia’s reaction toward Naofumi, right?

Seto: That’s right! After Naofumi says something to her Raphtalia reacts with an “?” and I couldn’t figure out if she was responding that way because she understood what he meant, or if she was responding that way because she didn’t.

Hidaka: For the most part actors just take those lines for granted and perform them. Seto-chan, however, would suddenly ask, “Is Raphtalia reacting this way because she understands?” The director’s answer was something we would’ve never even have thought of, so we were glad she asked.

Seto: Ultimately, Naofumi used words that don’t exist in this other world, so I did Raphtalia’s reaction in a way that was like, “What is Naofumi saying?”

Hidaka: It’s still the same line but the feelings going into it are different, and I thought to myself, “Seto is as amazing as ever!”

Seto: The staff have to keep an eye on a bunch of different characters, whereas we basically only have to deal with one of them. In which case, I think it’s natural that the staff wouldn’t realize some aspects, so I think it’s important for us to respect each other as we exchange opinions during the creation of the series.

Alright then, so how was the climax in the first part during Episodes 3 and 4?

Seto: I was happy to see Raphtalia grow so much more than she did at first, but as you know from Episode 4, Naofumi didn’t actually realize she had matured until then and that was shocking. It made me realize just how much he’d closed his heart off.

Hidaka: I was surprised at the way Raphtalia matured. Not just her outer appearance, but emotionally she’d become stronger too. I was happy to see that such a frail girl had become so strong-willed.

Seto: But there is one mistake I’ve noticed. I meant to voice Raphtalia as being frail, but right from the start she had this unwavering quality to her, more so than I intended.

Hidaka: Personally, it looked very well-balanced to me. It was true that after Naofumi took her into his care she was immediately terrified all the time, but I think from the beginning she was distinct and had this latent potential to be a very strong-willed girl, so it actually felt natural to me.

Seto: I’m so happy to hear that! It’s true that when her father was holding her on his lap, telling her the story of the Shield Hero, she readily expressed her own feelings. That aspect of her personality might be connected to her motherliness (laughs).

How was the duel in episode 4?

Seto: Ugh… Motoyasu.

Hidaka: Yeah, it was absolutely awful!

Seto: Because he believed everything that Myne said.

Hidaka: At least realize that Myne was using magic!

(laughs) You both seem to have really hated it.

Seto: I’m going to be frank and just come out and say it, it got under my skin (laughs). Ren and Itsuki acknowledged the cheating, but Motoyasu couldn’t completely bring himself to believe it.

Hidaka: I thought he seemed like such a child.

Seto: I could understand if he was still in his teens, but Motoyasu was the oldest at 21 years-old. It made me think, “Okay, now you” (laughs).

Hidaka: It was really unfortunate (laughs). The character’s doing this because he has a strong sense of justice, so it’s not like he wants to show contempt for anyone, he’s not a bad person. As a result, there’s this staggering sense of disappointment!

Seto: But gradually even the unfortunate aspects of Motoyasu start to grow on you.

Hidaka: Right! There are parts of him that you start to find adorable.

Seto: That’s why [Makoto Takahashi] looked so cute during postrecording when he was acting out his character.

Hidaka: He was trying his utmost to become his character.

Seto-san, you sing the insert song in Episode 4 called Falling Through Starlight, yes?

Seto: I was so happy that they used the song for such an emotional scene. Although it was played for a pretty long time at a fairly loud volume, so it was a little embarrassing for me.

Hidaka: It was amazing!

Seto: It’s not a character song, but the emotions I put into the song were meant to be representative of Raphtalia’s feelings.

Hidaka: It’s incredible that you were able to sing English lyrics so masterfully.

Seto: I’ve never really challenged myself to sing English songs before, and I heard it was going to be used in a really pivotal scene, so I wanted to be as accurate as possible. That’s why, before we went into recording, I made requests and had them give me extra practice and rehearsal days. On top of that, I had someone who could speak English give me a lecture before we started the recording. On the day of recording we had the song’s creator, Kevin [Penkin], on Skype giving me direction, so I was able to go into it completely prepared.

Hidaka: The music in this series is incredible, the opening theme song and ending theme song included, so I’d love for viewers to give it a listen.

In the next part of this interview we’ll talk about Filo and the events that happen from Episode 5 onward!

Interview / Article by Daisuke Iwakura

TV Anime The Rising of the Shield Hero

Staff: Original - Yusagi Aneko (MF Books The Rising of the Shield Hero / Published by KADOKAWA) / Original Artist - Seira Minami / Director - Takao Abo / Series Composition - Keigo Koyanagi / Character Design & Chief Animation Director - Masahiro Suwa / Animation Production - Cinema Citrus / Cast - Kaito Ishikawa as Naofumi Iwatani / Asami Seto as Raphtalia / Rina Hidaka as Filo / Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as Ren Amaki / Makoto Takahashi as Motoyasu Kitamura / Yoshitaka Yamaya as Itsuki Kawasumi / Maaya Uchida as Melty

The Rising of the Shield Hero Anime Official Website

Official Twitter

Buy the Original Light Novel of The Rising of the Shield Hero at the Crunchyroll Store.

Watch The Rising of the Shield Hero on Crunchyroll

See the original article at WebNewtype.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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