rox-reads · 2 years ago
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taylor, listen, youre so talented at rationalization (truly a gift!), but i feel like you mightve failed to realize that leaving a teen girl at the mercy of her bullies and leaving a civilian at the mercy of a huge fuck off water monster are, while both objectively bad, events of slightly differing orders of magnitude
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hearteyedbunny · 7 months ago
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what if i take questions from this ask game and answer them about arty bc i just want to :)
What is their biggest regret?
i mean this...is obvious. but...even though it isnt his fault, he regrets allowing his family to enter that vault. he blames himself for a long time, wondering what he couldve done differently to prevent it, even tho there was nothing anyone could do :(
Who (or what) are they emotionally closest to?
Danse is the obvious answer, but Art is also very close with Nick and Preston. i suppose i could count Hancock too, but they are just kind of casual friends who get drunk together sometimes. i think Art considers Nick a kind of...father figure, of some sort. Nick was the first person to really be empathetic and helpful towards his situation with his family, and ever since then he's confided in Nick and considered him a very very close friend, despite Danse's disapproval.
also dogmeat, of COURSE. Art loves that dog SO much. he was sad when he joined up with the BOS and found out he couldn't bring dogmeat with him, so he leaves him with Nick until after blind betrayal, when Art can bring dogmeat with him and danse to red rocket :))
How do they feel about physical touch / affection?
it depends who it is. if its someone he isnt close to, even if theyre an acquaintance, then no he doesnt want to be touched at all. he tends to guard himself from others...but if you get close to him and he considers you a friend then he will gladly accept a hug or casual touches. Nick probably pats him on the back or lightly grips his shoulder sometimes, and Art appreciates that. and of course he and danse are very touchy, but Art probably initiates most of it since he feels so safe with danse
What faction(s) do they despise?
HAHA, the brotherhood. he hates being a part of it. he hates the rigid rules, the military-esque way of life, their bigoted beliefs, and their self righteousness. he thought he left that all behind when he left the military back in his own time. ive said it before but hes only a part of the BOS because he knows he'll be protected while hes with them, they provide him food, water, shelter, etc. and they allow him to investigate the institute and take it down. being exiled from them sucked, but at least he doesnt have to answer to anyone anymore.
What are their thoughts on chems and alcohol?
big thumbs up babey!!!!! for real tho i think at first he tends to use chems and alcohol (especially alcohol) as a way to cope when he first gets out of the vault. he doesnt know what else to do, really, or how to handle his emotions and his grief. it never becomes a problem, as he eventually breaks out of the habit, but everyone aboard the prydwen was used to seeing him drunk and shambling about a lot of the time.
after BB he still drinks occasionally, but danse makes sure to keep an eye on him and make sure it never gets out of hand :)
and i dont know if this counts but he does smoke cigarettes as well. i think hes been doing that since before the war. pre-war he was probably trying to kick the habit, and he was doing pretty well until uhh.........[gestures to everything]. hes trying tho.
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astral-from-afar · 2 years ago
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Please confirm my memory of the culling arc in JJK because I don't have time to reread it but I wanna test my knowledge lol
gimme an accuracy score out of 100 after reading my shitty summary lol
Okay so before it starts first Yuji and the others meet Tengen to dicuss a game plan and I believe Yuki + Choso stayed behind with Tengen while Yuji, Yuta, and Megumi would go to the underground fighting place to gather players? And Maki would go to get weapons where she would eventually do that massacre.
Anywho after that Megumi and Yuji and Panda fight Kirara and get her and Hakari on their side to play the culling game. Okay so I think there were two colonies??? Shibuya and Sendai I think. In the Sendai one i think Kenjaku led non-sorcerers out of the colony through their dreams or something.
Okay and then I believe Yuji and Megumi split up. Yuji first dealt with the helicopter-hair people and met up with a middle school classmate or something where he would get led to Higuruma, the "Im gonna expose ur crimes" guy.
While that goes on Megumi fights the girl with a stabby hair and a rich guy i forgot. Im pretty sure i have my chronological events wrong but whatever.
Uhh i think after that one of them racked up their points and made a new rule in the game? Idk.
Yuta dealt with like a huge cockroach and a partially invisible lady and another guy i forgot i think?? After that megumi (or yuji i forgot which) fought the receipt dude and yuji gained a new weird ally while fighting against someone.
I believe after that was the Kashimo (was that his name; the lightnjng dude?) vs Hakari
Hakari won and got Kashimo on his side as part of a deal to let him fight sukuna.
i couldve sworn rules were added but idk
OH and there was a mangaka guy that hakari fought before kashimo
And thats up to volume 21 i think
anyways whats my score^^
I've been re-reading the manga (bc brainrot) so I can gladly try explaining it paragraph by paragraph and giving a final grade.
Paragraph 1: Yeah you pretty much got that all. Choso and Yuki stayed with big toe Tengen, Maki left for weapons and came back with the blood of her entire clan and Yuuji, Megumi and Yuta all went to be game participants but Yuuta left on his own.
Paragraph 2: Yep, Megumi and Yuuji both went to the fight club in order to get help from the third-years, Kirara and Hakari. Megumi's original plan was that Yuuji would start winning fights and grab the attention of Hakari so he can meet with him to discuss what's going on outside (y'know with the whole Gojo in a box thing). But Yuuji has to fight Panda who was already part of the fight club. Panda lets Yuuji win and Yuuji gets sent to Hakari, but Kirara smells something fishy and finds Megumi and Panda. They both have to fight and convince Kirara that they aren't opps from the higher ups at Juju Tech. Meanwhile, Hakari and Yuuji chat but Yuuji is obviously saying the script that Megumi taught him.
Hakari has the whole 'fever' thing so he senses that Yuuji isn't actually passionate and is just 'a cog in the system'. This brings them to the fight outside where Kirara has been convinced by Megumi and Panda but Hakari refuses to work with soulless ppl. This leads Yuuji to ask Hakari to hit him. So he does but chad Itadori takes them. Hakari senses a little fire in Yuuji so he agrees to join the party. Also he thinks Megumi is a good asset as Megumi was technically the heir of the zenin clan so Hakari thinks that it would be good for his fight club. Little does he know that Maki had exterminated her clan the day before. I'd give this paragraph 75%.
Oh yeah, Kenjaku was taking people out of the Sendai colony in their dreams. He also thanks one of Yuuji''s old friends and paranormal club member for looking after him. This was because the big sorcerers were there and Sendai technically has the biggest body count so you'd probably have to evacuate most people since they'd die and be rendered useless to Kenjaku's plan. In summary, there are 10 colonies and we've seen 3: Tokyo colony no.1, Tokyo colony no.2 and Sendai.
The plan the group made was: Yuuji and Megumi go and hunt for Higuruma the lawyer guy since he had over 100 points. Hakari and would go to find Kashimo (the lightning guy) since he was the one who racked up those points and already made a new rule ,to see every players profile with the amount of points they have. And Panda was to find Angel and negotiate with her.What the 4 need to do is to convince these players to help add more rules so they can fight back against Kenjaku. And I guess Kirara stays behind which is sad since I liked her technique.
Paragraph 3 + 4: Although Megumi and Yuuji both left the colony together, they were sent to different areas of Tokyo colony no.1 by Kogane. I assume this is because it'd be pretty useless if everyone went to just one colony and started killing each other, making the cursed energy only useful in one colony rather than equally between the ten so they just randomise where you end up. Yuuji has to deal with the spawn camping helicopter duo and pretty much defeats them. There he meets an old classmate who knew of Yuuji since Yuuji saved him once and agrees to take him to Higuruma. Megumi also lands in Tokyo colony no.1 but saves the spiky hair girl who wants him to be her knight in shining armour. She also agrees to take Megumi to Higuruma. But here's the thing, both of them say different locations which means one of them are lying.
Turns out Yuuji finds Higuruma bathing with his clothes on whilst Megumi met the rich guy (reggie star) and has to fight him. The fight with Yuuji goes first and we see more backstory on Higuruma (personally one of my favourite arcs) and Yuuji manages to convince him to use his points to add a new rule, to be able to transfer points among players. You were semi-right by saying Yuuji tries to get Higuruma to be an ally but he refuses saying that he'd feel even more guilty .Megumi has to fight a boat load of people but gains an ally, Takaba the comedian (you might have seen panels of his sheer dumbasssery). They win and Megumi who is on the brink of exhaustion, collapses in alleyway and is saved by Angel.
Paragraph 6: You're right that it is Yuta's arc and he is in Sendai colony (remember when I said it's the most bloodiest colony). Some background would be that there are 3 old-time sorcerers who have been reincarnated + a cockroach cursed spirit that could have been caught by either Suguru Geto or Kenjaku and are now in a stalemate for power. This has mostly been respected until Yuta comes in and kills one of the members (his name is Druv). This immediately makes them all shift their focus on Yuta as he tries to help evacuate more non-sorcerer people to safety. Unfortunately for him, since there were so many people it attracted the cockroach guy and they have to duke it out. He then kisses the cockroach and sends positive cursed energy at his head, therefore killing him.
He then starts fighting with Uro (the semi-invisible lady) but then Ishigoori (cannon hair guy) drops in to make this a three-way duel. Whilst the player cockroach is dead, the cursed spirit isn't so it kind of breaks the whole domain expansion thing the three were doing. This led Uro to shift her focus to the cockroach which Yuta took advantage of and got her from behind, but Ishigoori was the one to do the final hit on her with his granite blast. Now it is a 1 v 1 with Yuta and Ishigoori. Yuta wins this by recovering his technique, and using Uro's technique to shift Ishigoori's attack to the sky which goes back down to hit him directly. Uro and Ishigoori aren't dead but have to give all their points to Yuta, this is mostly thanks to Yuuji's new rule that transfers points among players. After that event Yuta has 200 points. This is in my top 3 personal favourite arcs which is the only reason I can remember most of it.
Paragraph 7: I'm gonna skim over this because I cannot FOR THE LIFE OF ME explain the Kashimo vs Hakari fight. So in basic Astra terms, Hakari first meets manga guy Charles Bernard where they go on a ferris wheel trip and Charles asks Hakari to make him hate him like a battle shonen, so Charles can have a reason to fight. They fight it out and Hakari wins by the power of his technique that I can't understand. We then shift to Panda where he's trying to find Angel but accidentally gets found by Kashimo. They duke it out but Kashimo wins but Panda is still alive. Cue Hakari dropping in and starting the fight epic fight between the two. Hakari wins the fight and agrees to to let Kashimo fight Sukuna which I am excited to see. The two come back to Charles and is met by Momo who tells them that they don't need to do rule #3 yet since Mei Mei's little brother can talk through colonies and Maki can enter and leave at will due to her 0 cursed energy. This leads to the next colony: Sakurajima.
And that's basically it for vol.19 to vol.21 of jjk. I think the culling game arc is way better reading all at once rather thank weekly because you get caught up in the smaller details and forget to look at the big picture. I'd say you have pretty good knowledge on vol.19 except Megumi's fight with Reggie which does have some importance later on in the story. You have decent knowledge on the Sendai colony arc but I think you'd need to look at vol.21 itself. I know there are videos that explain the colony battles I'd recommend Diavalo's ones on youtube which are about 1h long but are easy to listen to.
Overall score: 70/100 or B+
Good job Ren :)
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redrobin-detective · 3 years ago
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I know I’ve thrown around a lot of various Ghost King headcanons but you want to know the version I really believe in and want? Danny had a legitimate strong claim to the throne when he defeated Pariah Dark but he was still young, seen as an annoyance, like he wasn’t a real ghost. Most of the Zone and it’s leadership just kind of decided to ignore Phantom’s claim and focused more on preventing Vlad from acting on his much more tenuous claim. 
But then the years go on, Phantom becomes much more powerful, he learns what it means to be a ghost and understands more of Zone culture. He still fights off ghosts but they soon recognize he’s not just being a killjoy, he’s fulfilling his obsession and self appointed guardianship of Amity. Agreements are reached and truces conducted and pretty soon the ghosts think to themselves that Danny isn’t that bad. He’s just as much a ghost as they are and he’s genuinely fun to fight. They start to think that he wouldn’t be the worst choice for King.
Danny makes ghost friends, spends more time in the Zone in general. He forms strong alliances with many powerful and influential ghosts. More and more see Danny as he is, a strong ghost with a compassionate heart and a dedication to protecting others, living and dead. Ghosts like Frostbite and Dora and Pandora see these traits and kind of edge him towards his destiny. Some Ghost Zone politics lessons here, a little bit of royal history there, enough to prep Danny for what they see as inevitable. 
By the time Danny’s senior year comes around, it doesn’t matter that there’s other candidates for the throne. Danny is the only real choice having gained the support of most major members of the Zone. Unlike Vlad and the others who were actively vying for power, Danny was the only one who seemed to be willing to help out the ghosts. The Zone looked at itself and imagined a King who would fight for them, who wasn’t just the strongest and the fiercest but the kindest. With enough built up support, Danny was named heir apparent. 
When he was shocked and stammered out that he didn’t want this, that the ghosts couldn’t possibly want this, he was shocked to see how many ghosts wanted him. Danny had never been wanted before and then it was all about his powers or his connections. This time, for the first time, he was wanted for just being him. He did a lot of thinking, long hours of soul searching before accepting the claim. It was a job he felt he could do in bones, knew that he would be good at, that would fulfill both his ghost obsession and his human desire to help.
Danny started out as the Dark Horse candidate, the one no one wanted or was expecting to win. He ends up with the crown not because he fought harder or took it by force, but because his very nature was enough to change minds, to make the ghosts wonder if maybe it was possible for a King to actually be kind.
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dr4cking · 3 years ago
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congrats on 500!! 🌈 - maybe best friends to lovers with fred? thanks!!
thank you babe!! 💞💞
500 folls celebration
best friends to lovers with Fred Weasley (HC) :
you and fred has been best friends since you two were in diapers. your parents and his having the best friendship getting you into this position.
youre practically growing up with fred and his twin, but you feel more bonding with fred.
when you were 5 you three would always play in his garden and practicing magic with each other.
you even received the hogwarts letter the same day as fred! you both were so happy and embracing each other.
he suggested to open the letter at the same time which you gladly obeyed.
both of you screamed and jumping happily when you two see what was the letter said.
he invited you to join with his family to buy stuff for school, you two ended up lost from his family exploring the store.
fred got sorted into his house first, he was sitting nervously on his chair as he wishing you to be at the same house as him.
he was the first person who stand and clapping his hands as you finally get sorted into the same house, gryffindor.
since then you two became inseparable, everyone who saw you and fred would always think youre together.
then puberty hit both of you, hard.
fred was entering the train looking for you and he froze in his way as he saw the new you.
he always think youre beautiful but now, you are drop dead gorgeous.
he swore he never felt this way before when you pulled him into a tight embrace.
his heart beat faster as you pulled away looking at him with the usual smile before dragging him to your cabin.
“you grew up a lot.. in a good way” he teased you as soon as you two get in the cabin making your face heated.
since then, your friendship improved a lot better but more complicated at the same time.
you cant ignore the feeling of your melted heart and flushed face when all he does now is flirting with you there and then.
you flirted back of course, which getting him acting all flustered around you.
whats wrong with you? he is your best friend, since you were born.
at that time you realized that things now has turned into something different.
each days passed, fred’s behavior changed towards you, he became jealous and more protective as now boys starting to find a way to get you.
he’d stormed out of the room when he saw you talking to a boy making you confused why he was acting like that.
of course you ran after him, grabbing his wrist to stop him and pulling him to an abandoned corridor confronting what was wrong with him.
“i cant see you with another guy beside me, i know this is so wrong but i cant help.. falling in love with you.” fred whispered under his breath looking down to the floor when you asked him straight to the point.
what you did next surprised the both of you. you cupped his face and catching his lips on you, he was shocked at first before slowly melted into the kiss and pulled you closer by your waist.
“i feel the same.” you said as you broke the kiss, he is already have a cheeky grin on his face.
“be mine?” he asked as he pushed you against the wall trapping you with his body.
“i’ve always been yours.” you pulled his hair and reconnecting the kiss once again.
there’s just spark and butterflies around you and fred. it was the best feeling you two have ever felt. finally.
who couldve thought? something simple as a best friend turn into a lover.
in the end, you two are made for each other. it was meant to be.
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tiens-letters · 4 years ago
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upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past
zhongli (angst)
@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe
Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.
Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.
Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.
It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.
He felt exhausted. Desultory even.
Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.
Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.
The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.
You.
He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.
Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.
"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.
"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.
"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his
"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him
"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.
After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.
"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him
"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."
"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him
"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"
"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.
"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.
"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.
"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"
"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him
"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."
However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.
"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze
"Thats better."
He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.
Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.
Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.
He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.
Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening
" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.
"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of
" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."
"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white
You slapped him.
With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.
"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them
"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips
"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."
To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.
But of course, all things are evanescent.
The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.
"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.
He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.
Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."
To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.
Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.
He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.
The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.
The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.
It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.
"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant
"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."
Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe
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fandom-puff · 4 years ago
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Exhaustion
Pairing: Jon Snow x reader
Requested by: anon
Summary: you’ve been up for well over a day, helping Queen Sansa with returning winterfell to its former glory. Jon, back from the Wall now that Greyworm has ventured to Naath grows increasingly concerned for your health as you wear yourself to the bone
AN: so yeah this is totally a season 8 fix it bc we all got incredibly screwed over :) can you tell I’m not too fond of Danaerys after about... season 1? Anyways I love writing for game of thrones lol! Gif creds, as always, to the owner <3 ALSO: YNN= your nickname
Warnings: sleep exhaustion, season 8 spoilers
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“There is damage to the wall, my queen, the entrance to the castle as well. The stables were burnt by dragon fire, the armoury... well, most of it is gone. The statues of the direwolves are also destroyed, more so than when the Bolton’s were here,”
Sansa nodded slowly, her hands grasping the ornate wood carvings of the arms of her throne. She looked sideways to you, her closest friend and most loyal advisor, a lady from a lesser house in the north. You turned to the fellow Northman in front of you and surveyed him for a moment.
“For now, we have little need of an armoury. For any horses who survived the dragon fire, we will source wood to build a temporary stable so they may sleep out of the cold,” you said.
“Lord Bronson, please see that the horses are kept sheltered and that any builders hired are paid adequately for their time,” the queen addressed her newly appointed master of coin. “As for the damage to the wall of the castle, we need stone and men to rebuild it. Scope around for volunteers in the keep, they too will be paid for their extra work,” the man nodded and bowed to his queen. “As for the statues... have the Smithy melt down any damaged weapons and use the steel to remodel the Direwolves,” the master of coin scribbled down the funds and nodded.
“That is all, my queen,” the man said.
“And what of the Northmen? Those nearer the wall will have been hit hard by winter and the night king. The harvests were poor, the livestock is weak. We have an excess in our own kitchens. I want hearty food and good ingredients delivered to the villagers to ensure they survive until a more permanent solution is found,”
“Your highness, perhaps we should send a raven to your brother in the south? Out of loyalty to you and his ally, the North, arrangements can be made between the Crownlands and their ports and the fertile grounds of the Reach? Just because the North is now independent does not mean we ought to sever trade links entirely,” you said slowly, your hands clasped in your lap.
Sansa was quiet for a moment. You could see the internal struggle between wanting to do everything herself without help from the south, and wanting to keep the people fed and strong. She turned to you slowly. “Have a message sent to Bran,” she said firmly, nodding slowly to show she trusted you. “Surely there are resources we can trade with Kings Landing. Have another sent to Highgarden, I believe the Reach was relatively unscathed by the Mad Queen,” you bit back a smirk at that nickname. “They have always been fond of our embroidery,” you nodded. “Thank you for your report,” Sansa turned again to the man in front of her. “We will set to work as soon as possible. You are dismissed. Go and see to your wife, my Lord, I believe she is reaching the end of her pregnancy,” she smiled kindly, and with a low bow, the man left the hall.
With no one in the room but herself, you and the master of coin, Sansa sagged into her throne.
“You’re doing wonderfully, your highness,” you said gently, smiling softly at her. “Winterfell is almost restored and I have never seen a ruler show such compassion and sensibility to her subjects. The King of the South will help us- he probably knows already. And if need be, I will tell my brother that I’m staying at winterfell a while longer, should you need me. I trust him not to run my House’s keep to the ground while I’m gone,”
Sansa smiled at you with appreciation, and she soon gave you leave while she went to visit her Maester. As you were reaching the door, she called out. “YN! I’ve had word from Castle Black. Jon is returning to Winterfell. He should be here tonight,” you tried to hide your excited smile, and couldve sworn you saw a sly smirk tugging at Sansa’s lips as you bowed slightly and hurried off to your chamber.
Jon was coming back! You had been furious when the unsullied had him banished to the wall for killing the Mad Dragon Queen. From the moment you saw Danaerys, you did not trust her in the slightest, having heard the stories from across the Narrow Sea. In your eyes she was a glorified tyrant, as mad as her father and as deceptive as Queen Cersei. You knew she was almost nothing without her dragons, which caused more harm than good. Breaker of chains, she had called herself, when in reality she forged chains of her own- bend the knee or die was not a free choice, it was a threat, and had Danaerys Targaryen taken the throne as she was adamant she deserved it, you would’ve been slaughtered for your loyalty to the North, to the Old Gods, to your family, your friends, and not to a glamorous tyrant who would surely burn Westeros to the ground just as her father had planned.
Once returned to the north, you and Sansa had spoken of Jon a few times, and Sansa always got a mischievous glint in her eyes when you did. She must have planned his return, as he had no real need to stay beyond the wall after the Unsullied left for Naath. Smiling to yourself, you set to preparing yourself for dinner, asking a few passing maids to help you draw a bath. Unlike most nobles, you helped the maids, rather than watch them, and spoke kindly as you heated the water for your bath. Once there was enough water, you thanked them and allowed them to leave as you bathed, washing your hair and scrubbing your skin. Once towelled dry, you rubbed sweet smelling oils into your skin, before slipping into your smallclothes and a simple, yet beautiful, dark green gown, discretely embroidered with your house’s sigil at the trim of the neckline and up from the wrists of your long sleeves. Lacing the dress up at the side, you sat in front of your mirror and set about sorting out your hair, towelling it dry and braiding it around your head. Finally, you fastened a simple silver chain around your neck, your sigil hanging over your heart.
Smiling to yourself, you stood, leaving your chamber and walking to the Great Hall where dinner was normally held. When you slipped through the door, however, the room was empty, only a few candles lit. Frowning, you turned, hearing the sound of two sets of footsteps as Sansa and Jon rounded the corner. Sansa trailed off from what she had been saying and smirked slightly as she pushed Jon towards you.
“Er... Lady YLN,” he spoke in his thick, northern burr. You repressed a shiver and have him a bright smile.
“Jon! Just YN, remember?” You said, slowly walking towards him. Gladly, he accepted your embrace, and you buried your face into the thick furs at his shoulder, not caring about the flecks of snow. You pulled away and beamed at eachother, before Sansa cleared her throat.
“I thought we’d take dinner in my chambers,” she said. “The three of us reunited,” you both nodded and followed your queen. “Jon, I’ve had a room prepared for you, there should be a fire to warm you and new clothes there too,”
“But, your majesty, I... I took the black. I’m in exile,” he said lowly, frowning.
Sansa merely smiled and carried on walking. “No. You were in exile, therefore unable to take an oath of any sort. That, however, was when the unsullied insisted on ‘justice’. The unsullied are settled in Naath, and furthermore, you are a Northman. The north is an independent kingdom. Therefore, you are released from your exile,”
You shook your head fondly at your friend as you entered her chambers, were a maid was laying out the table. She turned when she heard the door and sunk into a low curtsey. “Thank you Amya,” Sansa said. “This looks wonderful,”
“Yes m’lady,” the young girl said, smiling proudly as she was dismissed.
Once fed and watered, the three of you retired to Sansa’s personal chamber, drinking wine and sharing anecdotes. Already smiling serenely from the wine at dinner, having more was making you feel a little floaty. You stifled a yawn as you fiddled with your necklace as you listened to Jon. “YN... you look exhausted,” he said softly, tipping your chin up to face him properly. The flickering light of the hearth highlighted the growing bags under your eyes and how glazed over your eyes were.
“‘M alright,” you mumbled, resting your head on his shoulder. “Can stay up a bit longer. Finish your story,” you insisted, but your eyes were already fluttering shut.
Sansa pursed her lips. “YN... after last night’s small council meeting, did you even go to sleep?” She asked gently. “And today... we’ve had about 15 lords and 12 smallfolk coming in for audiences, all of which you attended...”
You smiled slightly. “Was in the library last night, Sansa...” you mumbled. “Needed to look up the logistics and the finances,”
“Oh, YNN, we have a Maester and master of coin to do that,” she said gently, reaching over to place her hand over yours. “What about when the maester called for a break?”
“I went to start on the letters to my brother and the King in the South,” you mumbled. “And Highgarden...” you let Sansa hold your hand and give it a firm squeeze, still nuzzling you’re face into Jon’s furs as the last two days finally caught up with you. “Nodded off at my desk, though, so I’ll have to start the letter to King Bran again,”
Sansa frowned. “YNN, you’re working too hard. I appreciate it immensely, but I cannot expect you to help me if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Tonight you will rest, and when morning comes you may rest some more. You are allowed to care for yourself, alright? You must. Because without you by my side, I question everything I do. I need you by my side. The north needs you in excellent condition. And so does Jon,” you nodded slowly in understanding, but her soothing words and gentle tone were lulling you to sleep. “I want to make you my hand, YN. But first, you need to sleep,” you nodded again and let out a mumbled ‘yes, my queen’ as you finally turned your head fully into Jon’s furs and let exhaustion take you.
What felt like an eternity later, you were jostled awake. You let out a small noise of complaint and nuzzled you’re face further into the soft thick furs in front of you, your fingertips brushing a lock of curled hair...
“Jon?” You whispered, barely audible.
“Shhh, I’m here. Gotta get you to bed, YN. no arguing, now. Queen’s orders,” you nodded, and mumbled ‘alright’ as he carried you to your chamber. He found your bed already turned down, and gently lowered you into it, letting you wriggle out of your dress. He averted his eyes as you tugged the covers over yourself, despite it being dark. You settled into the pillows, already drifting deeper into your slumber, when you heard the door creak open.
“Jon?” You murmured, reaching an arm out for him.
“Yeah?”
“Stay?”
Your eyes were shut and you were practically asleep, but you heard the door shut and lock and the sound of heavy leathers and cloaks hit the ground. Best of all, you soon felt the safe warmth of Jon pressed against your side.
Tag List: @diksy1112 @zodiyack @soleil-dor @sleepylunarwolf
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago
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married with children ryan sitkowski x reader
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title: they get married, ryan acts like a child when drunk lol
beginning is super cute and sweet but per usual things go awry pretty quickly lmfao
Song: with or without you by U2
@musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @bleed-to-make-amends
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he had never even thought about marriage. when this all started he wanted nothing to do with it. we both knew we were in for the long haul but he didnt care about tying the knot and he told me that, right from square one. i went back to that moment over and over again throughout our entire relationship, never once doubting him or questioning it. it wasnt for everyone after all. i went over it in my mind again and again when he actually proposed to me. i was so happy i cried as soon as he started talking, telling me how much he loved me and how much i meant to him as he got down on one knee. and now im going over it again as im standing in front of a tall mirror, my best friend helping me put my veil into my hair. i stared at myself and my red puffy eyes from crying with my mother earlier as i got my dress on.
half of me wondered if he had cried yet today too, it was an emotional event after all. i guess id just have to find out later. i heard a knock at the door, turning my attention to it as my mother half opened the door. she sighed in relief before opening it fully and letting my dad in. my friend helped me off the pedestal and put my veil down, handing me my bouquet as my father took my arm in his.
"you look absolutely beautiful."
he said, making me smile as we walked out of the room.
"thanks daddy."
i said as i watched the wedding party descend down the stairs. we had chosen to have a small wedding party, a maid of honor and a best man only, with a flower girl and a ring bearer. we didnt want anything crazy and only invited close friends and family. the reception would be bigger however, more of a gathering than the actual ceremony. i breathed deeply as i heard the wedding bells ring through the church, oh what it took to actually get him to do this in a church. i clutched onto my fathers arm as we began the long walk to the alter. all eyes were on me and i felt uncomfortable at first but as soon as i looked at him i couldnt stop and their gazes didnt matter anymore.
i was smiling like an idiot as a tear slid down my cheek, he looked so happy standing between the priest and aj. as we got close to the alter the butterflies slowly ebbed. i was marrying my best friend, i had nothing to worry about anymore. i could see him more clearly now as aj nudged his arm and handed him a handkerchief. he was crying too, which made me laugh a little bit. he stepped down as my father offered my hand to him which he gladly took.
"take care of her."
he whispered and ryan nodded, taking me to the alter and facing the priest. I couldn't help but smile, only hearing half the words he said as I tried to sneak quick glances over at Ryan before we could face each other. He looked so handsome in his suit, the rose pinned to his lapel a nice shade of lavender. This almost felt like a dream.
°°°°°°°°°
As the music played I held onto Ryan for dear life. It was the first dance after all and I felt so uncomfortable being the only couple on the dance floor as we swayed back and forth. the alcohol we had been consuming so far didnt really help, despite my hope that it would. He still had that wide smile plastered across his face though.
"I don't know if I told you this already but you look beautiful today."
He said, making me smile back at him. Then I saw a flash, noticing the photographer.
"You're not so bad yourself Mr Sitkowski."
I felt his thumb rub gently into my side.
"Thank you, Mrs Sitkowski."
he quipped back. I couldn't help the blush creeping its way up my neck and to my face.
"I'm so glad we finally decided to do this ry."
I said, looking at him longingly. I watched as he scanned my face.
"So am I. I know I said a thousand years ago that I wouldn't ever do this but I'm beyond proud to call you my wife now."
i smiled widely at him as we swayed back and forth in a small circle, the music playing in the background.
"im not gonna lie, i was shocked but i think this is the best thing ive ever done. you really are my best friend."
he leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine as the music slowed and people clapped.
"im so glad i get to spend the rest of my life with you."
°°°°°°°°°
i sat down into the bench with a loud sigh, looking over to ryan who had just done the same. my dress was flowing over onto his lap but he didnt push it away. i looked over to him and smiled.
"we made it."
i said through a laugh, him sending me a wide smile back.
"the wedding and reception are over with, now all we have to do is make it official."
he said boldly, raising his brows and leaning closer to me. i shook my head amused and pushed him away.
"i think it can wait for the honeymoon tomorrow, you are pretty plastered after all."
he pouted at me, his arms making their way around my waist loosely.
"can i at least get a kiss?"
he said with pleading eyes. i rolled my eyes but caved immediately.
"fine, but dont get any ideas big boy."
i said, pecking him quickly on the lips. he tasted like a mixture of alcohols but the most noticeable was the red wine.
"is everything taken care of?"
he asked, staring at me. i looked up to our relatives walking around the venue packing things up and nodded.
"it is being taken care of as we speak ry."
i said and he nodded, readjusting his grip on my body and resting his head against my shoulder.
"thats good."
he said through a sigh. i looked down at him as he watched everyone. then my brother came into view, the box with the punch bowl in it tucked under his arm.
"the car is almost ready if you two wanna go now."
i nodded, tapping ryans arm.
"you ready ry?"
i asked and he sat up, looking at me confused.
"ready for what?"
i laughed a little bit.
"to go, baby, its time to leave."
he smiled at me and nodded.
"oh, then yeah."
he stood up quickly, pulling me with him. i held his hand tightly so he wouldn't wander off as we followed my brother outside the venue.
"are we going home?"
he asked, looking around before patting his pants with his free hand.
"baby we cant, my keys are gone."
i kept pulling him forward.
"my brother has your keys, hes the one taking us home and the one taking us to the airport tomorrow."
he made an 'o' shape with his mouth as we made it to the car. my brother opened the backseat door and ryan climbed in head first, laying down and tucking his legs in. i shook my head in amusement as peter closed the door.
"thanks again for doing this. it really does mean a lot."
i said as he opened the hatch to put the bowl in the already packed car.
"oh, yeah, i wouldnt pass up an opportunity like this one."
he said through a laugh and i shook my head, smiling at him.
"hes not usually this much of a handful but if i were given one day to party like the end of the world id take it too."
he sent me a knowing look.
"you couldve, if i remember correctly that champagne made its way to you a few times."
i scoffed at him as he opened the passenger door for me.
"who wants to get drunk off champagne? either way, one of us has to be the responsible one. ill just have him make it up to me by carrying my drunk ass home some time during our honeymoon."
i said with a wink. he shook his head at me before closing the door.
"i can hear you ya know."
ryan said from the back, making me jump.
"jesus ry!"
i said, clutching my chest. he sent me a lazy smile as he sat up, placing his head on the shoulder of the seat.
"i just want you to know that i will gladly carry your ass anywhere."
i laughed a little to myself before turning and pecking him gently on the lips.
"thanks ry, that means a lot."
he nodded once, proudly, to himself before falling back into the seat.
"i love you after all. what kind of husband would i be if i didnt."
i looked at him in the rearview mirror, a lazy smile plastered on his face as he toyed with his wedding ring happily. in that moment i knew, he really did mean it. it was enough to make me melt inside, and i wouldve cried had pete not been in the process of getting in the car. i turned back to him, him looking at me with the proudest look on his face.
"i love you too ry,"
i reached back and patted his knee gently.
"now lets go home."
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skiesfall-from-the-stars · 4 years ago
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dear [unnamed],
im sorry that I've hurt you, simply by existing, im sorry i always come to you, its simply bc i have no one else i trust. i understand it isnt fair to you, and im sorry. im trying to keep it to myself now..
dear [unnamed],
i understand why you push me away, you say you're a walking hurricane. but you are the hurricane I'd gladly walk into. i know somewhere within that raging, scary storm, is a human. scared, lost, and hurt. i long to help you escape the storm.
dear [unnamed],
im sorry you have been wronged in the past, i understand that you feel you deserve to be alone. i won't let that happen, no matter how hard you push. you will never be alone for as long as you have me, i promise, i will not leave you like others before me.
dear [unnamed],
im sorry you feel that no one loves you, no matter how much i tell you i do. i understand you may never feel the same again, and i only wish i couldve done better for you. i hope one day you meet someone who makes you smile brighter, and laugh louder than i did.
dear [unnamed],
thank you for still being a friend, even though you say you're bad for me. i have never noticed that you're bad for me, not have i cared. im intoxicated simply by the way you speak. you will always be good for me.
dear [unnamed],
im sorry i couldn't do more for you. im sorry i couldnt make you smile more, laugh hard, and feel more loved. i would give everything i have to go back and love you so much louder than i did.
dear [unnamed],
i hope you know i still love you, no matter how many times you tell me i could move on, or find better. you are my better. i never wish to be with anyone but you, i wish i could make you see that. 'lusted by many, loved by none' you told me, and i wish i could show you, 'lusted my many, loved by one'
dear [unnamed],
i will never understand where i went wrong
dear [unnamed],
i wish i could make you see me again
dear [unnamed],
thank you for being a friend
dear [unnamed],
i know somehow you'll make due.
dear [unnamed],
i hope you know, i still truely love you.
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prorevenge · 6 years ago
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How a management consultant fired himself...
I am not exactly sure if its the right section to post in as its a revenge story but not a planned revenge.
It all started when I made the decision to work independently after school. Me and my still best friend came up with a project idea, unfortunately I cant tell too much about as its still ongoing but not yet finished.
Anyway, it is a project with the potential to throw off a lot of profit and became somehow known in our local investor scene, thats why we had serious offers very quick and were both happy to sign a contract with a fairly big company securing us 250k to work with. (I know it sounds like a lot but it was barely enough to cover our costs the first 6 months)
After the 6 months we had to present our progress in front of the comittee of said company, we all knew them except one guy. He was a management consultant and constantly interrupted us with bullshit, ok some of his questions were ''good'', but it was mostly just bad mouthing us. Because this presentation played a huge part in keeping this project alive and financed for another 6 month, we got more and more insecure up to the point where we both thought its over. We took a short break and argued about wether or not we should even continue this presentation, we came to the point that we should continue but our hopes were crushed. (Pls keep in mind we are both young and never dealt with people that demanding, the buisness world is rough)
Right at the moment we wanted to go back into the room the branch manager came to us and told us how we shouldnt mind said consultant too much as he is the son of big boss sister and is just here cause big boss decided that they needed to be checked through. This gave us a little of our lost hope back, and we went through the second part more confident kinda ignoring C (C is consultant now I shouldve given him a nickname earlier)
After the whole event was over we had to wait 3 days until we knew if we can continue working or had to search for a new sponsor AND pay a fine for not delivering what we promised.
3 Days went by fast and we got told that they wont finance the project again and that our contract was expired. FUCK!
Well fast-forward a lot of begging other sponsors going on events and trying to get someone to support us again. We found an even bigger company who was more than happy to help us out, they immediately paid the fine (gladly our old donor didnt take us to court cause we were within the time frame) and almost doubled our old budget (I cant talk in numbers its part of the contract).
fast-forward another 2 months.
We were on an expo, where people with ongoing projects in a specific field are able to present their stuff to investors behind closed doors. It was on this event we met the CEO's of the company we worked with at first and they were interested to say the least. You might guess that C was there as well, being dragged from table to table like a little kid always nodding to everything big boss said but never getting any approval from his side. As they approached our table and we started explaining their eyes lid up. Big boss offered us 300k for a 30% share, it was at this moment Mark (a consultant from our current donor) stepped in and talked with big boss for almost an hour just far enough away so we couldnt hear it. This left us alone with C and 3 other dudes. C went on about how we just talking big but wont be able to deliver and how he already analyzed us blah blah blah, always making sure big boss wont hear him. After big boss and Mark came back they presented us a payment plan, but we declined before they finished. Mark didnt understand but he was about to. We told big boss how we think that they arent the right donor as we already worked with them (He didnt know anything about it as the branch managers of each individual office are responsible for handling the financing of projects independently). We explained how C already analyzed us and that we think we dont fit into their business model. Big boss looked angrier and angrier with every second, eventually interupting us by asking C if we tell the truth. He tried to deny some allegations, but we kept on going, talking about how he disrespected our ideas and us as persons. This left big boss raging, basically screaming....
Big Boss: WHAT POSITION DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO MAKE SUCH IMPORTANT DECISIONS
C: I..... ehm...... ugh.... but they didnt even have a diploma and this guy (pointing at me) didnt even go to university.
Big Boss: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEIR PROJECT COULDVE BEEN OUR FLAGSHIP, WE NEED THEM ON BOARD
C: I thought you wanted me to......
Big Boss: I WANTED MY SISTER TO STOP WHINING IN MY EARS ABOUT HOW YOU COULDNT FIND A JOB
C: But I.....
Big Boss: NO I AM TALKING NOW YOU JUST SHUT UP, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS AND YOU CAN BE DAMN SURE THAT YOU DONT HAVE A JOB TOMORROW. YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT (insert location of the office) FINANCING A DEAD END PROJECT. YOU TOLD ME THAT THEY WILL GO BANCRUPT IF I DONT STEP IN.
C: I thought......
Big Boss: NO NOT AT ALL, NOT EVEN A SECOND, THATS THE PROBLEM. NOW GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I LOOSE MY SHIT.
After that 2 minutes of complete outrage he took a deep breath facing us and said double the first 2 months and 5% less share we just looked at Mark who laughed and said deal. We all gave each other hands C awkwardly standing a few metres away from us. Big boss faced him a last time telling him to finally get lost. C responded with how they carpooled which big boss ignored as he rang his mum and told her how she should pick up her idiot son. There he was a man in his late twenties getting picked up by his mum. We laughed at this incident as they walked away Big boss still talking with her mum on the phone explaining what her son did while completely ignoring C's begging. We felt GREAT. We knew that we didnt need to get another donor on board so we just packed and went out for a great dinner.
(source) story by (/u/ninasocean)
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quinintheclouds · 5 years ago
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Heyyyyyyyy quin, im gonna rant at you for a bit, because im fucking done with this bullshit!!! So, as of right now, my father's plan is to force me to redo freshman year, wether i want to or not(surprise surprise! i don't) He concluded this after taking one look at my grades from this year(four ds, one two as, two bs. not what i would consider good but thats not the poINT HERE) His exact words were "you are redoing your 9th grade year. its just a question of when." 1/idontfuckingknow
(Gonna paste the rest of your asks here. Tw: suicide mention)
Now, i, having already had a slightly toned-down version of this bloody conversation with my mother, did not have the patience for this shit. The following argument goes aproxxamately as follows,(this is a paraphrased version) beginning with me: "No. No, i already had this fucking conversation, im not redoing a year." "What POSSIBLE ARGUMENT COULD YOU HAVE for me to think so??" silence. "Do you ASPIRE to be a waitress?? Maybe a hairdresser" nothing. It only gets worse frome here. 2/??
"How much EFFORT DID YOU PUT INTO FUCKING THIS UP??" Now, lets stop here for a moment. What the fuck is my father, the man who's jizz became me, trying to pull? Anyway, my response was bewildered at best and full on APPALLED AND ENRAGED at worst: "you think i fucking- what makes you- I PUT EFFOR- THATS THESTUPIDESTSHITVIE EVERFUCKINGHEARD!??!!!! WHAT makes you think i DID IT ON PURPOSE??????" "THIS- *waves my report card in my face, wildly* MAKES ME THINK YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE." 3/4maybe5or6idk
Now, ive been trying, oh have i been trying, to get it through this man's head FOR YEARS, that i would never get bad grades on purpose. That should be a given right??? Anyway, he waves the paper in my face, and i (justly) had tears in my eyes. This is the angriest ive seen my father, which is saying a fucking lot, and hes about 8 inches from me, looking me DEAD IN THE FACE. And I have tears in my eyes. I was terrified, and im pretty sure i looked terrified. But did he care? mmmnotreally! 4/???
Ok, im not sure what else exactly he said(other than, sprinkled in there, that I manipulated my mother[no,] and that i 'couldve not shown up to class and still wouldntve done this bad') but either way, he walked away, saying "You WILL NOt be a sophomore at [my school] next year. we arent doing this again." *john mulaney voice* now, we don't have time to unpack all of that, If my father didn't give a shit about me before, he definitely doesn't now. This just fucking confirms it for me. 5/6
Actually, let me rephrase. He, no, BOTH of my parents don't give a shit about my mental health. They care about my grades because, if they turn out good, this tells them theyve done something right. They only give a shit about me if it benefits them, in that way or otherwise. This is what I've figured out. Honestly, i think im gonna have to tell him that ill fucking kill myself if im forced to redo freshman year. At this point, its the only way to get it through his head. 6/fuckigottadoonemore
And, at this point, im not even sure that if i said that, I'd be lying. In fuCKING conclusion, my parents do not give a shit. They don't give A SHIT, about how much BEING HELD BACK, is gonna FUCKING AFFECT ME, THEY JUST WANT MY GRADES TO BE BETTER SO THEY CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEM-FUCKING-SELVES. I'm done now.
_________________________________________________________
Wow, that sounds stressful as all hell... also your parents sound like mine. I can’t stand parents who put blame on their kid for their mental health or struggles. They don’t need the burden of thinking it’s their fault ON TOP OF the burden of actually dealing with that shit! Is it possible to talk to a counselor at school about not wanting to repeat the year? Those grades qualify you to move on, don’t they? I’d be as pissed as you if my dad tried to do that. It’s your education. My parents have screamed at me about grades many a time, and I FEEL your pain. The way they’re acting is unhealthy for you, and I’m so so sorry you have to go through it. Telling you your future has no potential unless you do what they say is manipulative bullshit.
"How much EFFORT DID YOU PUT INTO FUCKING THIS UP??" OH MY GOD if I had an ant for every time my parents said this to me I could make an ant colony strong enough to take over the world. It is NOT okay. Suggesting that your work is a failure in the first place is awful, but adding in that you did it on purpose is a terrible parenting excuse because they think it reflects on them. That shit will mess you up. I still struggle to remember that me having trouble with something doesn’t make it my fault. I used to believe them and blame myself for every break I took. Playing a video game? Could’ve been studying. Reading a book? Should have asked for extra credit. All of that is ridiculous and harmful to any kid or adult. Let’s get one thing clear: it is NOT. YOUR. FAULT. And another: grades are not a measurement of effort, intelligence, or worth. They’re structured poorly and the entire school system desperately needs revamping. Your future is not doomed regardless of your grades.
Your dad saying you “'couldve not shown up to class and still wouldntve done this bad'” is ABHORRENT. Telling you that you not trying at all is better than any efforts you make is just so profoundly fucked up, pardon my French. Also, completely wrong. 
“BOTH of my parents don't give a shit about my mental health. They care about my grades because, if they turn out good, this tells them theyve done something right. They only give a shit about me if it benefits them, in that way or otherwise.“ My parents are the same way. They only care about whether something makes them look good or bad. You are NOT their trophy to show off as though your achievements are their own, and you are NOT some shameful thing for them to treat poorly. You are, always have been, and always will be, your own person. 
I’m gonna use a quote from a show that hits me really hard and I feel that every child of awful parents needs to hear. “I’m... sorry. I’m sorry your parents don’t care enough. You have every right to be angry. But you deserve to be happy.” You have been through so much, and your anger is absolutely justified. And yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t be happy. You deserve better than anger. You deserve to be happy. “And I hope you can find that... even if it’s not today.”
“Honestly, i think im gonna have to tell him that ill fucking kill myself if im forced to redo freshman year. At this point, its the only way to get it through his head. And, at this point, im not even sure that if i said that, I'd be lying.” I have been there, so I’ll be 100% honest with you. If your parents are anything like mine -- and it sounds like they are -- telling them you’ll kill yourself still won’t get through to them. In fact, it might make them take you even less seriously if they see you using it as leverage. Kids of parents that don’t take mental health seriously often drive themselves further into depression as a cry for help (not by their own fault) that’s perpetuated by never being heard. I got worse and worse (tw suicide ment) and I told my parents I was having suicidal thoughts. They just saw it as lazy and selfish and overreacting. I spiraled deeper. Then, when I made an attempt, my mom was furious, screaming at me and threatening me because I could’ve messed up her gun. “If you really want to be dead, ask me and I’ll gladly do it for you. At least I know how to use a fucking gun right.”
I could go on with the rest of that story, but I’ll sum it up by saying: I got help. I got better. I realized that if they wouldn’t care about me, I would. I knew what I was feeling was real. I knew I needed help if I wanted to survive. And now, I’ve found real happiness and more stability. Mental health issues don’t go away easily, and I know it’s not the same for everyone, but working on them is so worth it. I promise it can get better. People like to think of happiness as a long-term thing, but life will always have its ups and downs... I still have down days. I won’t pretend I don’t still have a lot to work through. But I am, finally, okay. I never knew “okay” could be the default, or how okay life could be. And it’s amazing. Happy happens a lot more now, and depression is smaller and manageable. I know you’re stuck where you are for now, and may not have access to professional help. But please... Please care about yourself, even if your parents don’t. I care about you. You deserve to, too. 
I’ve had so many moments that I felt were the last straw, that I couldn’t handle any more, that I was broken or ruined or doomed, but even then I somehow managed to survive. And I can honestly say I am so, so glad that I did. Please don’t let your parents ruin that for you. It’s not your fault for where you are. And it’s not where you’ll be forever. No matter what happens in this situation, whether it’s repeating the grade or moving on to the next, I believe that you can make it through. You are so fucking strong for making it this far. I know you might not believe me, but try to trust me. You. Deserve. Better. And even if it sucks right now, you absolutely can get there.
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actualbird · 6 years ago
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i promised last week that i would do a candy review of every candy i had consumed over the final finals week and here it is, in order of consumption over the terrible, no good, very bad week
1) weird chocolate candy cigarettes my dad bought me when we were in osaka last may - 3/10
this candy is a chocolate stick facsimile of a cigarette. it tastes like chocolate flavored chalk. i am allowed to say this because i have eaten chalk before. one point was added because it is enjoyable but only after the candy is gone, and i feel like anything that needs to not be there anymore to be enjoyed is something that doesnt deserve a high score. the other two points were added for the gifting value. im not ungrateful, i just have high standards
2) chupa chups sour bites fruity flavor - 8.5/10 
this candy is like a few sourtapes stacked on each other for width but cut into smaller sizes. i very much enjoyed this one. the gummy looks like a rainbow and that definitely adds points. this candy is gay. it tastes like a tame sour patch kid and is rather addicting. i deducted points because the name implies there to be an aspect of sourness to it, which the candy lacked. i would say it was more of a fun little tang. also, the pack totally couldve fit more pieces of candy, but instead was filled with air. i finished this candy much earlier than expected and that made me sad.
3) weird candy from the clipper in uptc - 5/10
see, this candy isnt exactly like, enjoyable. but it isn’t not enjoyable. they were advertised in the pack they were in (a pack i had to dispose of because it wasnt resealable and i might be a goblin, but i wasnt going to eat like, several handfuls of candy in one go. thats…..well it’s not ridiculous, ive done that before, a lot of times, but the whole point of eating this much candy in this time period was to make it last so that i had some incentive not to die in the middle of the week. i had to transfer the candy into a small ziplock bag which made the candy look like, really fucking shady, and thats why the picture has a bunch of them on a piece of tissue) as “apple mint hard candies” and a lot of the points were deducted because i did not taste an ounce of apple. they were just mints. not bad mints, but not good either. this was mint purgatory. i often munched them while writing to keep myself awake, and it gets points for keeping my eyes open, i guess. the thought of falling asleep while i had those mint voids in my mouth seemed horrific. 
4) gummy angry dudes (???) that my mom got from bangkok - 6/10
in the taste department, these gummies were standard. tasted like a regular gummy worm. most of the points are awarded simply because i cannot for the life of me figure what the hell this gummy is supposed to be. it has horns, a very angry face, and pretty swole thighs. it’s a very powerful looking gummy and this had to be taken into account. however, my mom ate a lot of these while in bangkok and blames them for giving her the flu for 4 days. points docked for (allegedly) giving my mom a hard time. gummies should not give my mom a hard time. thats what my existence is for. just kidding.
5) fruit-tella - 8/10
a classic. never fails. i got this to munch on during an utterly terrible finals session where my philosophy class had to watch all of the final movie projects we made, and these candies prevented me from disconnecting from this plane of existence because i hated everything, prevented me from astral projecting into a universe where i was happy or at least wanted to be. tangy but not overwhelming. chewy but not overly so. when i was in 4th grade, this candy helped me dislodge a loose tooth, so i didnt have to go to the dentist to get it removed. fruit-tella has never failed me. 2 points docked because fruit-tella does have a tell tale smell that lets everybody within a 50 mile radius Know you have fruit-tella, thus prompting them to ask “hey, can i have some fruit-tella?” i dislike this interaction very much, but i assume in the universe where im happy, this interaction is fine because that alternate!me is probably more well adjusted and cooler and better. anyway.
6) cola sour tape - 9/10
cola sour tape is one of the sexiest candies out there. i love sour tape. i love soda. this candy brings me both in one flat bitch perfect for me to just slowly eat like a noodle while tears stream down my face and i wonder why i chose this course, why am i majoring in writing, what if im not good at the only thing i thought i could do right. cola sour tape brings me the perfect amount of tang and perfect amount of sweetness and it genuinely reminds me that no matter how bad things get, there will be a moment where i will be eating cola sour tape, and things will be marginally less shitty. cola sour tape kept me company as i submitted my final requirement of this sem, the world’s shittiest final fiction manuscript, and cola sour tape’s wonderful mix of fun flavors kept me awake enough to face the fact that nearly two decades into my life, im still not sure about anything, really. one point docked for the fact that all sour tape has the monumental flaw of the sour sugar just getting fucking everywhere. please dont show me evidence of my actions. please. please. 
overall, this past week has been a sugar fueled frenzy of existential dread and stress. i never want to do it again, but i would gladly eat all the candies rated 6 and above like 800 more times. thanks for reading!!!
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spicebowl · 2 years ago
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i have very mixed feelings on abortion currently and could never bring myself to get another one. but it was there for me when i needed it and i would hate to live in a world where another scared woman with no idea how to raise a child and no resources to do it is forced to go through with a pregnancy anyways. people dont make this decision lightly and for a lot of folks who get abortions, its something they carry with them their whole lives one way or another. pregnancy does not end lightly, whether it results in abortion or a child. to act like you know everyones situation and personal feelings towards abortion when out into a situation where they need one is fucking delusional. the same representatives fighting for abortion will gladly help the women in their own lives unfortunate to need one. why should this life saving medical procedure be outlawed to the detriment of women everywhere? there is no banning abortions, only safe easily accessible abortions, and this is going to hurt a lot of people. put your own feelings aside and understand this on a national scale. it is so important that abortions be accessible and easy to get, the mental and physical toll an abortion takes on a person makes it a difficult enough decision. why force people into a parenting situation they cannot accept? why force people who wants families but cant do it yet start them too early? why force people who want nothing to do with children have them? why put people who shouldnt have children and dont want them into a situation where they have children who are just gonna end up in thr foster system? i know i would rather see my baby dead in my belly than have a stranger raise her in a strange home. theres too many variables, its too far removed from the people screaming against it, nothing they say will ever change the fact that a pregnant person always always always will make the decision they see as best for that child, and sometimes whats best is making sure they never see the light of day and avoiding the tragedy that they couldve been born into.
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gizaoyas · 3 years ago
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OMG Margaux,
First of all I'm SO SORRY I MISPELLED YOUR NAME ALL THIS TIME. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT. i write all my asks on the phone so there was a lot of going back and forth (of course that's no excuse). I hope I didn't offend you with my mistake ;;;
I'm glad to hear that you had a lovely week <333 you definitely deserved it. I hope you got plenty of well deserved rest and fun during that time~
honestly tho with the way Gege hates gojo i think we'll get a sad satosugu reunion ;;; im hoping with how OP gojo is, he'll make it out of the series alive but im not holding my breath lol i want to see geto and gojo meet again ;;;;;; they couldve been the strongest duo..... (sobs)
I definitely know some bit and pieces of OP that I'm not nearly close to seeing any time soon. It's hard to avoid all spoilers from the most popular shounen series lol
lol noooo don't do that for mdzs. the back and forth happens within the season/episode so it wont make a lot of sense if you watch multiple seasons at the same time. once the backstory is established in the first and second season, they don't do the back and forth as often! it's best to just watch the show traditionally!
skfslfsdf it's definitely a cold year. There's no snow where I am and it's really cold. I ended up getting sick from my sister and her bf but im getting better now! it helps that i wfh so i dont have to travel or miss work because im sick~ and yes!! it's very tempting to just play all day and not work but i like to say i usually get my work done lol
here to hoping you have another lovely week <333 i have your gift coming up!! i hope you'll like it ❤️
-Animanga Secret Santa
Hello again my dear Santa ❤️
Ddhdjdjd of course you didn't offend me at all!! I was so confused because I didn't know how to tell you that without you feel embarrassed, I was very afraid you'd feel bad for it!! I really thought your mispelling was cute!! Even some people of my family struggles to write my name so you know 😆
I got plenty of time last week to get some rest, making colorings, found gifts for my family and ate some chocolate! 😋I recently started a new job, and quit my previous one, that's why I had a lot of free time, I wanted to take a week for myself 😌 I hope you had a very happy, peaceful and lovely week as well and still wishing that everything is gonna be fine for your finals ❤️
Satosugu reunion is what I need the most but Gege is so crual, sure it'd only be painful... I'm almost sure there won't be a happy end for jjk 😔 I wish Gojo gets out of this alive too, but just imagine if he's tired of everything and die because being the strongest would be a curse to him, and he even couldn't saved Geto *cry* ahhh I don't want this happens, but it'd be easier to meet Geto in the afterlife, right ? :')
Ahhh I know what you mean, because before I catch up with one piece (I've paused it for years and then rewatched everything since the first episode) I had to black list everything related to it because I've been spoiled of so many things 😔 gladly I forgot facts I wasn't supposed to know but yes it's so hard to avoid spoilers 🙄 Surprisingly one piece is not the most popular shonen on tumblr, and spoilers are kind of "light" 😖
Omg I totally misunderstood dhsjehzkfzsk the mechanic to watch 1 episode of two different seasons in parallel is very interesting! I haven't played to Danganronpa games so I can't say if the adaptation is good or not, tho I really enjoyed it!! Then I'll definitely not watch mdzs this way, and I can't imagine what I would understand if I watch it like that 😂
Gosh glad to hear you're getting better because getting sick these days seems to be pretty tough to heal!! It took me almost 2 weeks to feel much better 😖 be on lockdown for almost a half of a year is very tough for immune defenses! Oh it's really one of the benefits to wfh!! I'm totally the kind of person who's always waiting until the very last minute to get the work done and it ends up in disaster 😆
Ahhhh Santa of course I'll love everything you wanna make for me!!! I'm very impatient to see what you'll make, like, who from which serie!! Ahhhh I desire to know everything and especially who you are 👀❤️
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relatablepicturesofkpop · 7 years ago
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Yes um hi, please bless me with the knowledge of what kpop groups you stan, thank you🖤
Oooooh GLADLY! :D
So there are three groups I stan to the point i think about them 3462789154 times a day: (i.e. watch every day and can pull random factoids about their debut date, birthdays, hometowns, etc.) and those are BTS, EXO and Astro
-BTS i found in 2015 and they are my ult group, Taehyung is my ult bias. So HYYH has a very special place in my heart :”) At first i saw I Need U and was like ‘what on earth is this’ and Youtube offered me ‘HYYH Full Movie’ (I Need U +Prologue+Run and later on + Young Forever but i found them before Young Forever dropped so that was my first comeback) and i cried harder than i ever had before at Taehyung’s drowning scene and i loved how everyone’s characters are so complex and just— yeah im a THEORIST and i RANT on MAIN (also that vid of Taehyung from Boy In Luv era dorkily dancing? confirmed for me he was my ultimate bias from Day One and ‘till forever) you could show me any bts photo and i could tell you what video its from & what they were doing-Astro! I noticed them around Breathless era but by Baby era i was sucked in. The first song i heard was Fireworks and Breathless acoustic version (THE UNDERRATED VERSION) Sanha became my favorite kid in the whole world & guess what,,, i watched the Cicada video,,, all you Arohas out there know what im talking about,,, THAT vid where they are all terrified of a little bug im so sOFT FOR THAT VIDEO (#tag urself im MJ) how can you Not stan after seeing it(also i just want to let it be known I went to their fanmeet and I dabbed at Rocky and he dabbed back and also that i have gummy bear packets given to me from Sanha Eunwoo Rocky and MJ and that Eunwoo and i touched hands when he gave it to me and also that i shook Sanha’s hand okay sorry for that yeeeeee)-EXO okay so exo was probably the first kpop group i listened to the Most, i COULDNT pick a bias at all but i settled between Chanyeol Xiumin and Baekhyun but eventually Xiumin claimed that bias spot because what a cute baozi he’s like a little kitten whom i wanna cuddle and i cant believe its his Birthday Month… its that time of year where im in denial he’s almost another year again lads (dont ask for my favorite song because i Cannot Deliver)
Other groups I stan (i.e. know all the songs and member’s names but i sometimes miss out on new content)
-Twice alrighty Twice really SHOULD be up there with bts/astro/exo, I knew Twice when Cheer Up released but I didn’t become a fan until Knock Knock. Technically I started becoming a Once when TT dropped, that’s when i decided to be a Once but i didn’t learn the members until after Knock Knock. My first comeback was Signal and boy did i love that era @ signal haters its a bop so fite me i even learned the choreo and everything. catch me trying to learn Likey’s choreo and looking like a Mess. Sana was the member i thought was going to be my bias when i was trying to pick during Knock Knock but Dahyun is my ultimate female bias now.
-Golden Child DAMDADI WAS THE BEST DEBUT I COULDVE HOPED FOR! I lowkey stanned Golden Child before debut actually. If anyone doesn’t know Golden Child google their song Sea, its like that song you wanna listen to in the warmth of the sunlight and just embrace idk its so??? SO!?!?!? I’m currently in a dilemma because i can’t choose my bias, it’s either Donghyun, Sungyoon or Jibeom, but i think those three are my top of the Golcha bias list, in that exact order
Groups I have decided to stan (i.e. i know the members’ names and most of the songs but probably could only tell you the order of the eras and I haven’t gotten around to catching up on all their personal videos but i still hype the comebacks)
-Gfriend im not a new Buddy but im not an old one either? Ive always liked Gfriend but i never really got into the group as a whole until after a year. My bias is Umji !!! She’s in my top female idols she’s a pure angel istg
-SAY THE NAME, SEVENTEEEEEEN i found them during Very Nice and I learned as much as i could, after exo i told myself ‘no more groups with over 10 members’ but… SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE~ My bias is Joshua Hong and my favorite song is Swimming Fool. However i’m a baby carat because i JUST started to look into their personal videos in December of 2017. So forgive me but im a baby carat! I’m definitely a newer fan and I’m still learning. also rn ‘My I’ is on repeat for the 21th time send help
HONORABLE MENTIONS aka Groups I might stan in the future but for now only keep up with their comebacks-
-Victon I am THIS CLOSE TO STANNING THIS CLOSE YOU HEAR ME-VAV i LOVE their music but i need to see more till i decide!!-TRCNG, they recently debuted and I liked Spectrum (their debut song) but i’m waiting for a concept i really like before i decide to stan or now. Utopia is my favorite song tho -Snuper is a solid ‘i listen to them but idk them’ but that might change-Seven O’ Clock i loved Echo but… i need another comeback to rly see-JBJ i saw Fantasy and was like ‘aite i see you’ then My Flower was all ‘you best bet you gonna be seein’ more of me’
(also is it too late to stan Boyfriend and Super Junior ive always kinda just… been there watching from the sidelines for years lol)
okay WOW SORRY FOR THIS BIOGRAPHY AND WHATNOT but yup that’s all of ‘em accounted for
Just to clarify though, i listen to ALL groups to the majority of Kpop!! This is just a list of groups i really really like both musically and personally, but  music-wise I listen to… everyone i know everyone. i’ve been apart of kpop for 3 years so these are the just groups that have stood out to me The Most™
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago
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skeleton key slash x reader
+++++++++ i wanted something cute and fluffy but ive been in a mood lately so here ya go lol, its kinda cute and fluffy but starts a little disconnected and stand-offish
i edited this but if i missed anything sorry lol
Song: ill always be around by waterparks
tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse @slashscowboyboots @smokeandmirrorz +++++++++
i sat against the wall of the dressing room and swirled the unopened bottle of beer against the tile floor in front of me. it made a mesmerizing sound as the glass scraped against the linoleum. it was the only thing really keeping my attention. it had been a rough couple of days and i wanted nothing more than to feel normal again.
i watched slash slide down the wall out of my peripherals, hearing him sigh as he hit the floor with his full weight. we sat in silence until i broke my trance, opening the bottle finally, i just stared down into it. slash cleared his throat but i didnt look at him.
"You okay?"
He asked, nudging my arm with his elbow. I took a quick swig of my beer, making a sour face at the taste.
"As okay as I usually am."
I sighed out.
"So not very?"
He asked, sending me a look. I looked over at him and shrugged.
"I'm sure things could be better but I'm living life one day at a time."
He shook his head.
"That's no way to live."
i sighed again, taking another drink.
"is it ever?"
he hummed.
"well no, but whats been up lately? you haven't really seemed like yourself."
i took another swig.
"havent i?"
i asked, raising a brow quickly. he frowned at me.
"none of us think so. the rest of the guys have noticed it too. you arent the same as you were a week ago."
i sighed, dropping my head back into the wall and looking to the ceiling.
"im lost."
he looked a little confused.
"youre lost?"
i looked over at him, watching his hair as it fell into his face.
"i dont know, my mood just tanked all of a sudden. i have no drive, i dont want to do anything. the only reason im here is because i have to be."
he tried to examine my face but i was on the whole expressionless.
"you couldve stayed on the bus, not that it wouldve helped, but you couldve."
i let out a short laugh, bringing the beer bottle to my lips.
"i thought getting out wouldve made an impact, ya know, keep myself busy to forget about it."
He nodded.
"it didnt."
I said and he sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. i looked back ahead of me, staring at the wall. we sat in silence for a bit until he shot up, drawing my attention and looking at him like he was crazy. he offered his hand to me.
"come on."
he said, more chipper now. i raised a brow.
"what?"
he shook his hand, wanting me to take it.
"come on, get up. we're going on an adventure."
i drew my brows before reluctantly taking his hand, setting my beer on the ground where i was just sat.
"where are we going?"
i asked as he pulled me out of the room and into the hall.
"It a surprise, but you have to come along to find out, thats why its an adventure."
i followed closely behind him, still unsure about the situation he was dragging me into. he walked comfortably down the hallway, looking from room to room as we went. i just watched him, trying to figure out what he was really after as we moved further into the venue. he nodded to the venue workers as we passed them, his grip on my hand getting tighter, making it known to them that we were attached. he relented as he ducked under pipelines and around mic stands. suddenly i was forced into someone.
"hey! watch where youre going!"
i heard as i looked up with wide eyes. in front of me was a large bald man with a stern gaze and i suddenly realized i was no longer tethered to slash. i looked to my suddenly empty hand in panic before looking back up the man.
"whats your deal?"
he asked, harshly. i looked around but the curly mess of hair was nowhere to be found. i breathed deeply.
"do you speak or are you just here to get in the way?"
the man said a bit louder. i jumped.
"no, i, i, uh-"
i stuttered out. he looked like he was waiting for an answer.
"you just gonna stand there looking stupid with your hand in the air or are you gonna move out of my way?"
he grunted out. then my hand got snatched away from me and i looked to slash with relief.
"sorry dude, i guess i lost my girl."
he apologized, pulling me to him. the man watched us as slash led us away from the man.
"keep her on a leash or something! i dont have time for road blocks!"
he called after us. slash waved his hand in the air.
"will do man."
he said before looking at me like 'yeah right' and making me giggle. slash looked around before ducking into an empty room.
"dude i thought id lost you there for a second. i saw one of the crew and went to squeeze your hand and i realized youre hand wasnt in mine anymore."
he let out a nervous laugh.
"it looks like i found you just in time though cause that dude looked like he meant business."
i nodded in agreement.
"yeah that was kinda scary."
we both laughed a little at the situation.
"but i found this place."
he said excitedly. i looked around, it was dimly lit but the furniture looked much better than the dressing rooms we were in. part of me wondered if it had been an office at one point but was now a storage room. i looked up as the light flickered overhead.
"spooky."
i said happily, raising my brows at him.
"well, im glad you like it cause i set this up for us."
i drew my brows as he took my hand again and led me around the bulky couch in the middle of the room. my mouth dropped at the layout of food, wine, and candles on the floor; all of it arranged on top of a black blanket.
"where did you get all of this?"
i asked, a bit shell-shocked. he half smiled at me, rubbing his arm.
"Well, i noticed youve been down for a bit and wanted to do something nice. i also figured we had a decent amount of time before the show starts so i went out and got this stuff earlier with a little help from duff and he helped me set it up. all i had left to get was you."
i could feel tears stinging my eyes. no one had really ever done anything this nice for me before and it made my heart ping. He really new what to do to make me feel better, he always did. i sent him a smile before pulling him in for a hug. he held me tightly to him, burying his face into my neck.
"thank you, slash, it means a lot."
i whispered against him. he pulled away and helped me sit.
"i wasnt sure exactly what you would like but we asked the lady at the shop down the street what she would want and thats just kinda what we got."
he said bashfully. i leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.
"its great. really. it is."
i reassured as he started pouring two glasses of wine. he cleared his throat as he handed me one of the glasses.
"i, uh, also had a question for you while we're here."
he looked down at the blanket, and i almost thought i saw a small blush on his face but it was hard to tell in the low light.
"ask away."
i said raising  the glass to him in cheers and taking a sip. i watched as he swirled the liquid around in his own glass.
"well, i was wondering, if maybe youd want to go on a date with me. like officially."
i smiled widely at him.
"id love that."
he gladly returned the smile.
"great! i mean i know weve kind of gone on a date before but it wasnt legit, and yes i kind of blame axl for ruining that one-"
i laughed a little bit, shaking my head.
"lets call it a trial run."
i said, making him laugh too.
"well then i already feel more comfortable."
he clinked his glass against mine in cheers.
"same here."
i took a sip before setting the glass down and resituating to sit with my legs crossed under me.
"now, lets see what that lady made you buy."
i joked, prompting him to move the little basket he had acquired closer to me.
"dont blame me if its terrible."
he said through a laugh. i sent him a warm smile.
"thanks for this slash, you really know how to make a girl feel better."
he nodded.
"no, i know how to make you feel better, and i wouldnt have it any other way."
it was my turn to blush, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks at his words.
"im glad you have the thing that opens the door to my emotions or else this tour would be much harder."
i noted, taking a small box out of the basket and setting it next to me. he snorted.
"like a skeleton key to your happy place."
he said. i nodded.
"exactly!"
he laughed a little bit before taking another sip of his wine.
"you have no idea how happy that makes me."
he said, leaning back in his spot. i leaned over, close to him.
"the feeling is mutual."
i said lowly, watching his eyes flicker to my lips.
"can i kiss you?"
he whispered out, looking back to my eyes. i nodded. his hand found its way to my face, caressing my cheek gently. like a slow motion film, he moved forward, it felt like every anticipation building inside me before our lips finally met. it was soft and warm and he tasted like the wine. when he pulled away i felt like my home had been ripped from me and i missed it immediately.
"cant wait for that date."
he laughed out and i couldnt help the amused look on my face.
"likewise."
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