#is that his family wasn't lacking in love and support

[roturo]

SUCCESSOR -`♡´-

summary: He believes he’s going to die soon, and the idea of leaving the Kira case unfinished gnaws at him. The thought of his legacy fading away too soon is unbearable. He needs a successor. And soon.

warnings: A LOT of breeding, smut, unprocteted sex, overstimulation, multiple rounds, pwp, tummy buldge, mentions of cum, mating press, virgin!L, obssesed!L, mentions of forming a family, not proof read and sleepy while writing this. and more.

a/n: ik this is going to have as much support as my other works, but it's def one of my best and favs writings, so please show me your support with a comment and reblog! it means a lot for me!

You've been part of the task force for a while now, ever since L handpicked you for his elite team. As a regular member, you've earned your place and trust within the group. The necessity of keeping your identity hidden has diminished, thanks to the expanding team, but you still opt for an alias during meetings, maintaining a veil of secrecy around your true connection to L.

L’s mind is a labyrinth, each thought of a winding path leading to an unknown destination. His strategies are always a step ahead, his deductions razor-sharp. Yet, despite his brilliance, one specific thought has been haunting him lately:

He believes he’s going to die soon.

This isn't a paranoid delusion but a calculated assessment. L understands the immense dangers tied to the Kira case. The complexity of the situation has grown, and he suspects an external force at play, one that eludes even his grasp. This unknown entity has shifted the balance, making the case more perilous than ever.

L is determined not to let his legacy end prematurely. He has dedicated his life to solving the world’s most challenging mysteries, and the idea of leaving the Kira case unfinished gnaws at him. The thought of his legacy fading away too soon is unbearable.

He needs a successor.

And soon.

Finding someone who can match his intellect and tenacity is no simple task. The successor must be able to understand his intricate methods, to carry on his relentless pursuit of justice. The urgency of this mission weighs heavily on him, as he prepares to identify and groom the next guardian of his legacy.

You were the perfect match for him, and his calculations confirmed it. There was an 86% probability that having a child with you would result in someone with a higher IQ than his own, combined with the social skills he lacked. In the realm of interpersonal relationships, L was inexperienced, never having had a relationship or intimacy before. Recently, he had been contemplating how to propose this idea to you.

Should he ask you outright? Should he try to make you fall in love with him first? No, this wasn't about love. It was a precaution, a step in his investigation, a way to ensure his legacy continued if the worst were to happen.

The atmosphere in the headquarters was tense as always, the dim lighting casting long shadows across the room. You sat at your desk, engrossed in your work, when L’s quiet footsteps approached. His presence was magnetic, his aura of mystery and intellect always palpable. He paused beside you, his gaze fixed on the monitors displaying the latest updates on the Kira case.

“Can we talk?” His voice was soft, almost hesitant, a rare departure from his usual confident demeanor.

You looked up, surprised by the uncharacteristic uncertainty in his tone. “Of course, L. What’s on your mind?”

He shifted, glancing around the room as if searching for the right words. “There’s something I need to discuss with you. It’s… personal.”

Your curiosity piqued, you nodded, giving him your full attention. “I’m listening.”

He took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours. “You’re aware of the importance of my work, of the dangers we face daily. The Kira case has made me realize that I must consider contingencies I hadn’t thought of before.”

You nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“There’s a… statistical analysis I’ve conducted,” he said, his voice becoming more clinical as he explained. “It suggests that if I were to have a child with someone of your intelligence and social capabilities, the child would have a higher IQ than mine and possess the social skills I lack. This could be crucial in continuing my work if anything were to happen to me.”

The gravity of his words hit you like a ton of bricks. L, always methodical and rational, had approached this highly personal matter with the same analytical mindset he used to solve cases. You could see the logic in his plan, yet the implications were overwhelming.

“So, you want me to… have a child with you?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Yes,” he replied, his eyes unwavering. “But understand, this is not about emotions or personal desire...I think” He whispers to himself before he continues– “It’s a precaution, a part of my contingency planning. I’ve never experienced a relationship or intimacy, so I’m uncertain how to approach this.”

The room seemed to close in around you as you processed his request. It was a cold, calculated proposition, yet it carried a weight of vulnerability and trust. L was placing his future, his legacy, in your hands.

“How do you expect this to work, L?” you asked, your voice tinged with both curiosity and trepidation.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted, his facade of invincibility cracking slightly. “I’ve considered different approaches. Should I simply ask you directly? Should I try to make you fall in love with me first? But this isn’t about love. It’s about ensuring that if I am no longer here, someone capable can continue my work.”

A silence fell between you, heavy with unspoken thoughts and emotions. L’s eyes searched yours, looking for understanding, perhaps even acceptance. You could see the conflict within him, the struggle between his logical mind and the unfamiliar territory of human connection.

“I need time to think about this,” you finally said, your voice gentle but firm.

L nodded, a flicker of relief crossing his features. “Of course. Take all the time you need. This is not a decision to be made lightly.”

Finally, you made your decision.

One evening, you found L in his usual spot, hunched over his laptop, eyes glued to the screen. The dim light cast shadows across his face, highlighting the intensity of his focus. Taking a deep breath, you approached him, your heart pounding in your chest.

“L,” you said softly, breaking the silence. He looked up, his piercing gaze meeting yours.

“I’ve thought about what you asked,” you continued, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “And I agree.”

For a moment, L simply stared at you, processing your words. Then, slowly, he nodded, his fingers tapping lightly on the edge of his desk. “Understood. Thank you for your cooperation.”

You took a seat across from him, the air between you charged with a new sense of purpose. “How do we proceed?”

L leaned back, his thumb brushing his bottom lip in thought. “We need to ensure this doesn’t disrupt our work or compromise the investigation. The task force must not be aware of our personal connection, as it could create complications.”

You nodded, understanding the delicate balance that needed to be maintained. L’s expression remained impassive, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes. “I must admit that emotional connections are not my area of expertise. This will be… a learning experience.  Should… we do it tonight?”

“Ah- Ah- Slow down, L-Lawliet!” you gasped, your voice breaking with a mix of pleasure and urgency.

L’s thrusts were sloppy but fast, driven more by instinct than experience. His movements lacked rhythm, a clear sign of his inexperience. He had come twice already without withdrawing from you, his body responding purely on primal urges.

He had done his research, concluding that a mating press might be the most effective position for this purpose. But he never anticipated how overwhelmingly good it would feel. Was it like this with everyone? Or was it something unique because it was you?

His thrusts grew more erratic, almost desperate. Small whines escaped his mouth, each one tinged with your name like a prayer. You could feel every twitch, every movement inside you, the raw intensity of his desire almost too much to bear.

“L,” you whispered, trying to regain some control. “You need to… slow down.”

He nodded, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. “I’m trying,” he panted, his voice unsteady. “It’s just… so overwhelming.”

His usually sharp, calculating mind seemed lost in the haze of sensation. Every thrust, every brush of skin against skin, was a new experience for him. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between maintaining control and giving in to the raw pleasure.

He moaned at the familiar, overwhelming sensation of climaxing again, and you could feel your own release approaching. The intensity was almost unbearable when he grabbed a pillow and slipped it under your back, angling you into an even deeper mating press. His thrusts became more deliberate, his cock somehow reaching deeper, hitting your g-spot with precision over and over again.

The pleasure was so intense, so all-consuming, that all you could do was chant his name like a mantra, each syllable a prayer of ecstasy. “L-Lawliet,” you breathed, your voice trembling with the force of your impending climax.

He watched you with dark, hungry eyes, his own pleasure driving him to thrust harder, faster. “S-shit,” he gasped, his breath hitching, “I think—” His words dissolved into a whine as he came again inside you, his release flooding your womb with a desperate, addictive need.

This wasn’t just about producing a successor anymore. It was about the raw, primal satisfaction of filling you over and over again. He was captivated by the sight of your bodies joined, the way your mixed arousal leaked from where you were connected, glistening in the dim light.

“Lawliet,” you cried out, your own climax hitting you with the force of a tidal wave. Your body tightened around him, milking every last drop of his release as he continued to thrust, his movements erratic and needy.

He whimpered, the sound vibrating through his chest as he pressed his forehead against yours, his dark hair falling in a messy curtain around your face. “You feel… incredible,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion and exertion.

He groaned before pressing his lips to yours, the kiss deep and fervent. His cock remained erect inside you, pulsing with an insatiable desire. The feeling of having you this close, of being connected so intimately, was overwhelming. In that moment, he lost all sense of reason and the initial purpose behind his actions.

His mind, usually so sharp and focused on the Kira case, was now clouded with visions of a future he never thought he'd consider. He imagined how adorable you would look, carrying his child, a baby with his eyes and your smile. The idea of having a family with you consumed him, pushing all thoughts of logic and strategy aside.

Without realizing it, he began thrusting again, the movement instinctual and desperate. Each thrust was deliberate, fulfilling the small bump of cum inside you that was already visible through your tummy. He watched in awe, fascinated by the sight of your bodies joined so intimately, the tangible evidence of his desire and your shared pleasure.

“L-Lawliet,” you gasped against his lips, your hands clutching his shoulders as he moved within you. “What... what are you thinking?”

He pulled back slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. “I’m thinking… I’m thinking about us. About a future I never allowed myself to dream of.” His voice was rough with emotion, a raw edge that you rarely heard.

Your heart swelled at his words, the vulnerability in his usually composed demeanor striking a chord deep within you. “Lawliet,” you whispered, your fingers tracing the contours of his face. “I never imagined… I never thought you’d want this.Want me”

“I didn’t either,” he admitted, his thrusts growing more purposeful. “But now, with you, that's all I can think about. The idea of you carrying my child, of us having a family…you in general… it’s overwhelming.”

He kissed you again, more gently this time, savoring the softness of your lips against his. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure through you, the sensation heightened by the emotional intensity of the moment. His hands roamed your body, memorizing every curve, every detail.

“Do you… do you want this too?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

“Yes,” you breathed, the admission freeing a weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. “I want this. I want us.”

His eyes darkened with a mix of relief and desire, and he kissed you harder, his movements inside you becoming more urgent. The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, each moan and gasp a testament to the bond growing between you.

As he continued to thrust, you could feel the tension coiling tighter within you, each movement pushing you closer to the edge. He seemed to sense it too, his rhythm intensifying as he chased his own release.

“Lawliet,” you cried out, your climax hitting you with the force of a tidal wave. Your body tightened around him, every nerve ending alight with sensation.

He groaned, his own release following closely behind, filling you once more. The feeling was addictive, the raw intimacy of it all-consuming. He held you close, his forehead resting against yours as you both caught your breath.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered mostly to himself, his voice filled with wonder.

“Neither can I,” you replied, your heart pounding in sync with his. “But it feels right. It feels perfect.”

He nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “It does.”

You stayed entwined like that, savoring the afterglow and the newfound depth of your connection. The Kira case and the outside world faded into the background, replaced by the warmth of each other’s presence and the promise of a future together.

Eventually, as the reality of your situation began to seep back in, you knew you had to return to your duties. But the bond you had forged would remain, a source of strength and comfort in the days to come.

As L gently pulled out and helped you adjust, he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. “We’ll figure this out,” he said softly in a small whisper. “Together.”

“Together,” you echoed, your heart filled with a certainty that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them side by side.

[moneymasnn]

Right Timing | Charles Leclerc

Notes: 11k words of Charles and y/n pinning for each other…your all (hopefully) going to love it xx

this is my first post in about 6 months and I'm so happy to be back! thank you all for the continuous love and support I fucking love this app. this fic hasn't been proof read but oh well, ignore some spelling mistakes, sorry. anyways... ENJOY!!!

Blurb: One where you have a huge crush on your best friend's brother, the one and only charles leclerc, since you were a teenager, with him continuously telling you he was too old for you and you had no chance. You eventually gave up hope and moved on. But did charles? (Best friends brother troop/ slight enemy’s to lovers troop/ Older boy and younger girl)

Warnings: lots of angst, crying, sad y/n and sad Charles. lots of arguments and slight nsfw? but not really. Small age gap.

11.1k words

Arthur leclerc, your best friend since nursery… Your favourite partner in crime, your favourite laugh on a bad day, your favourite person in the whole wide world. Best to be described as home, your comfort person. He was the voice within reason, all that was right in the world. 

He's your best friend.

Y/n y/l/n, she was truly and utterly his favourite thing about the world. He counts his lucky stars he has her to help him carry his weight. Y/n was the only person Arthur let visit him when his dad died, and in his books, that made her alright. Sure she would make him want to scream and cry and punch walls, especially with her choice in men. But Arthur was always there for her, when she needed to laugh or to cry he knew what it was she needed at any given moment, he could read her like she was his favourite book. 

She was his best friend. 

—

How it started:

A little girl with puffy red cheeks sat at the bottom of the nursery playground. Her legs crossed on the green summer time grass as she sniffled again, gently plucking a daisy for the ground before adding it to the daisy chain she was making. She liked to say she enjoyed her own presence, but truly she was distracting herself from the lack of company. With the other young girls teasing her for her wild curly hair, she willingly chose to be sat on the grass of the playground alone.

“Hey! Can you teach me how you did that? I wanna make one for my mum!”

And with no regard for her personal space he sat down next to her on the grass, squashing half of her daisy chain, but she didn't tell him that.

He didn't care that she was crying or that she had poofy hair or that she was even a girl, he was eager to learn her talents and carry on with his lunch break.

But when Arthur noticed the signs that the girl was rather shy and sad he thought he would stay with her for the rest of lunch, keep her company.

Little did she know this company wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

And at age five, the pair promised to be friends for life.

It didn't take long for them to get their mothers talking, and after that it was set in stone, playdate after playdate. Arthur's mum became your mum's hairdresser, so there were many nostalgic memories for the two in the salon, especially when y/n would accompany her mother to her appointments. The pair's best memory is y/n letting Arthur cut her hair in the storage cupboard of his mum's shop. The horror on both parents' faces when one of y/n's pig tails were held in the hand of the young boy.

Their friendship only bloomed from there…

After spending almost every weekend watching Arthur and his older brother race in karts in the rain, to spending most afternoons around the leclerc residence playing with Arthur on his xbox, the girl felt like family.

When she was young she always found herself drawn to the middle leclerc. He was away a lot of the time, karting. He was slightly older so no doubt he found the pair childish and would always moan when he was made to spend time with them.

Charles' mother was the first to figure out your little crush on the boy. She first noticed it when you joined the family on a winter skiing trip, you were around thirteen. It was your first time up in the mountains, so when your arms started to wave and you felt your body lean way too far back Charles did the only morally right thing, dropping the glove he was putting on and outstretching his body to catch you in time.

He didn't catch you in time. 

Instead his heroic act to save you turned into humiliation when he realised you had taken him down with you.

Pascal carefully watched as you turned around, her eyes glued to yours that were glued to her sons. She watched your tinted red cheeks as Charles scoffed and begged you to get off of him as his bare hands were now engulfed in the thick snow, causing him to suffer with a cold for the rest of the holiday.

Your eyes widened and sparked at the sight of him. You would gaze up at him like he hung the moon and the stars, an expression his mother would soon get used to as she watched you fall for her son over the next few years. 

Charles was older, and very uninterested. He didn't find your little crush as cute as everyone else did, the thought it made him look uncool. He would roll his eyes when you would grab his arm or duck when you would try to kiss his cheek. He hated when your families would go out for meals and you would sit next to him, or how you would call him after a race to congratulate him, no matter his result.

Charles always saw you as his little brother's best friend, nothing more and nothing less.

That was until your first boyfriend. A three year age gap wasn't that big of a deal as they all grew older. Charles found himself having mutual friends with his brother and would occasionally bump into Arthur and you at a party.

You were 16, you thought you had met the love of your life, an older boy, he was 18, around charles age who was now 19 and worming his way into f2. 

Arthur didn't approve of Joao. He knew you were trying to prove to charles that the age gap isn't that big of a deal after his brother had repetitively told you you were to young for him, but somewhere down the line you found yourself mesmerised by Joaos eyes and that was it for you, charles no longer rented the forefront of your mind.

Joao was great, at first. You knew he wasn't the love of your life, but for the moment he looked to play the role quite well, and you were happy. You just didn't expect it to end like it did, maybe age gaps do matter?

You were at some house party in the hills of monaco, some friend of Joaos. You were downstairs in the kitchen with Arthur as he watched you drink your body weight in alcohol. He could tell something was bothering you but he chose not to mention it. In all your years of friendship he knew you would come to him eventually. 

“Where is the lover boy anyway?” he spoke up.

Your lack of response is when Arthur clocked onto your boyfriend being the reason for your excessive drinking. Him ditching you, yet again.

You slammed down your empty red cup, wiping the dribble from your chin as you decided enough was enough and you looked for the presence of your boyfriend. 

Arthur bid you good luck on your travels as his attention was now turned to the girl he had been eyeing up across the room.

And with your liquid courage you stumbled around the party. The house was huge. Gigantic windows that draped around the whole house. Everywhere you looked was so picturesque, making you fall in love with Monaco more and more. From the kitchen window you could see the river of lights leading down to the beach front. From the other end you could see continuous hills leading up into the stary sky, tiny specs of light from homes probably just as big and fancy as the one you were currently standing in swarmed your vision, a far cry from the apartment you and your mother shared where your view was a brick wall to another apartment complex.

Your heels were rubbing the back of your ankles as your hands gripped the bottom of your dress pulling it down as it was miles too short as you made your way out to the garden.

And there he sat, on the steps leading to the lit up outdoor pool, your boyfriend. A skinny little blonde girl sat on his knee. She was older than you, clearly. She took the cigarette from his lips and placed it on her own as her other arm draped over his shoulder. It was like this week after week, it was like you were a ghost.

This isn't the young love you put out for, and you decided enough was enough.

You always forgave him, but tonight was different. This night changed everything.

Tears welled in your eyes as you turned back into the house, you were going home. Joao caught a glimpse of this as he jumped up and followed you back into the house, why he would always chase after you you still don't know.

“Y/n, baby stop.” you ignored the sound of his voice as you pushed through the crowds of people to get back to the kitchen in hopes that Arthur was still there. He wasn't.

You made it to the kitchen before he grabbed the back of your arm pushing you against the kitchen island. His hand came up to wipe away a fallen strand of hair as he tucked it behind your ear.

“Come on y/n i didn't even do anything-”

“She was on your lap.” your voice crooked, you so desperately didn't want to be the little girl everyone thought you was and cry, not in front of everyone anyway. 

“It's not that big of a deal-”

“It is that big of a deal! I'm humiliated!” you shouted back, creating a scene you so desperately wanted to avoid.

“I just- I just want to go home.” you said in between sniffles.

“Baby, don't cry, let's just go back to mine, okay? I'll call a taxi-”

“No, I want to go home, my home.” you begged, the tears were falling now.

His grip tightened around your arm as you tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

“I need to find Arthur, and I need to go home.” you said, pushing his arm as he still had you pinned against the counter.

“Oh come on y/n, drop the act you know you want to come back to mine.”

You threw your head back dodging his fingers that were trying to touch your hair again, avoiding his eyes.

“Joao let go, you're hurting me.”

That only made his grip tighten around your arms, pushing you against the counter even harder than before. As he leant down to your ear-

“She said let go mate.”

Your vision was too blurry to focus on what happened next, but you felt joao grip loosen as he stood back.

“Yeah and what are you gonna do about it, leclerc?”

That's when punches were thrown and Joao was hunched over holding his busted lip. Joao was grabbed by another person before he could lunge back at who you assumed was Arthur, but as you turned your head you saw a different leclerc shaking his hand. His knuckles were red, and his eyes were darker than the ones you were used to, charles.

“y/n get in the car.” he said, you stood up, sniffing and nodding your head. But then you remembered your missing friend.

“Arthur-”

“I'll get him. Get in the car.” his tone was strong, not what you were used to from the middle leclerc. 

You waited by his car in the cold for a few moments just before Charles came out the house, a stumbling tipsy Arthur under his arm. There was pink lip gloss smeared over his cheeks and lips, and at that moment you felt a small smile creep on your face. 

However, the car ride home was silent, you sat in the front with Charles, as Arthur passed out in the back seat. Faint french music played from the radio as charles eyes were firmly gripped on the road.

As you rounded the street to your home Charles finally spoke up, “You really know how to pick them.”

You sniffled again, unable to reply to him mainly because he was right and you were embarrassed. As the car came to a stop Charles undid his seat belt mumbling that he would walk you to your door.

He balanced on the back of his heels as he watched the moonlight highlight your tear stained cheeks. Charles thought you looked beautiful that night even though you had been crying for the last half an hour, your hair hadn't been brushed and you were rummaging through your purse like a mad woman, he still thought you were pretty. He would never tell you that though.

“Don't tell me you've lost-”

“Got them!” You giggled, shaking your keys in the air before whipping your nose for what felt like the fifth time that night. You stalled as you pushed the key in the door, turning to look Charles in his eye for the first time since the party.

“Thank you-” but he cut you off, not wanting to hear it. You were his brother's best friend, Arthur wouldn't forgive him if he ever watched you in a position like the one that night and didn't do anything.

“Dont.”

“No really, thank you, charles.” You smiled, Charles smiled too, mainly because it was probably the first time you had called him Charles and not charlie.

After a moment you dropped your bag on the floor and wrapped your arms around the boy's waist, your head rested on his chest as he hastily moved his hand and rubbed your back.

“Just make sure the next one isn't a total dick, okay?” he whispered, his chin placed on the top of your head.

He didn't know how much that sentence broke your little 16 year old heart.

You smiled and entered the house, Charles didn’t drive off that street before you waved at him out your window.

On the drive home we looked back at his younger brother, drooling on the back seat of his car. 

It was that night where he realised the both of you weren't all that different, but so far apart.

The first time Charles saw you after that night was a couple months later, a family day at the beach. You had turned seventeen in that time and joao was old news. But charles eyes were stuck on your body as he watched you sat in the sand on your own. Sipping from a bottle of beer that you most likely stole from his crate, your toes were dipped in the wet sand as you watched the sun set on your own.

Arthur had brought his new girlfriend with him and even though you were still as close as ever, Arthur's attention was stuck on the pretty blonde that was talking to his nan.

The rest of your families were distracted too, or so Charles thought. His mum watched him intently as he walked back to the car park, grabbing a spare jumper from his car before making way down the beach front to join you.

He spent so much of his life avoiding you, but after the night of the party he just wanted to make sure you were okay. 

He crouched down in the sand next to you, aware of how your eyes were on him. He placed the jumper on your legs,

“You're going to get a cold.”

You scoffed but complied. Putting the jumper over your head and pulling at the sleeves, it smelled like him.

“How are you?” you asked charles, he could feel your eyes staring into his side profile, but he stared at the sun setting over the monegasque sea.

“I'm okay.”

The boys lost their dad a little under a year ago now, you hadn't really seen Charles since. But he knew you hadn't left Arthur's side for them few months.

“How you holding up, really?” you nudged his shoulder with yours, he did his little signature smile before looking down at his lap. Avoiding the question.

“Thank you. For looking after Arthur I mean, he's lucky to have you.” 

“Charlie…”

He looked in your eyes this time, he looked so sad, so broken. So desperate for a hug. You didn't pressure him to answer your question, insted you gently placed your head on his shoulder looking along the coastline in silence.

Charles appreciated the silence and the way you didn't push him, moments like these he understood why Arthur loved you so much.

“It will be alright you know.” you hummed on his shoulder.

“I know.” Charles whispered back.

“Really, i can already see Charles leclerc, ferrari formula one driver. Your face will be all over Monaco, and we're all so proud. He'll be so proud.” 

Charles hated how much you believed him, because in that moment a nineteen year old boy with dreams bigger than the world itself everything felt impossible. 

“Don't forget about me when you're all big and famous, yeah?” you smiled up at him.

Charles looked down at you, his eyes were glossy but the smile on his lips was enough to melt your heart, he threw his head back in a laugh. 

“I dont think I'm ever getting rid of you.”

Now it was your turn to laugh, “at least your self aware charlie.”

After all the laughing he noticed how your eyes shifted from his own to his lips, and then he remembered why he was avoiding you in the first place.

“y/n..” he whispered, oh how he whispered your name in his little broken accent, your heart melted as he backed away.

“I know, I know.”

You smiled and placed your head back on his shoulders looking at the sun that was nearly gone.

“You know I'm too old for you, right?” Charles whispered as he leaned his head on yours that was resting on his arm.

“I'm in it for the long game leclerc.” Charles giggled as he let his cheek get comfy on your head, pushing his side into you as you fully watched the sun disappear over the sea.

On the night of your 18th birthday Arthur had taken you out to your first club, you drank, alot…

Charles happened to be at the same club, so when your drunk body collided with his you couldn't help but wrap your arm around his torso, clinging onto him.

He gently placed hand on the small of your back smiling as you leaned on him.

Charles was 20 now, soon to turn 21 and had just signed a contract with alfa romeo, he was officially in formula one. Even Though you were proud of him you missed having him around. 

You stood on your heels, leaning up to his ear as Charles met your movements and bent down to hear you better in the loud club and your heart fluttered at the small action of his ear hovering near your face.

“I'm eighteen now charlie.” he could hear the smile in your voice.

“I know, happy birthday mon amour.” kissing your forehead, this was the closest you had ever been to him before, and you craved more. He had never called you the nickname before, he was teasing you.

“I'm officially an adult nowwwww.” you longed out his ear before you hand palmed his cheek. You so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“Y/n.” His tone was serious as he caught onto your intentions.

“Y/nnn.” You teased him back, imitating his serious tone and rolling your eyes as you do so.

“I know you want to Charlie, come on…” you giggled at him, but you were drunk and a mess, so the arm around your waist was to stop you from falling flat on your arse not because he just wanted to touch you, you thought. You pushed his hand off you and stood up straight, Charles sighed as he placed his hand back on the small of your back, you looked up at him. The stupid little puppy dog eyes that he refused to listen to.

“I'm too old for you, love.” Charles' hand once again held you close as you started to lose your balance again, “and you're too drunk.”

“Drunk on love.” you exclaimed, Charles laughed, like really laughed and you couldn't help but admire the creases around his eyes. He moved your arm over his shoulder so he could hold you up.

“Let's find Arthur and get you home, okay?” but as Charles pulled away you pulled him back.

“I've waited eighteen years, Charlie, I'm sure I have the patience to wait a bit longer.”

Charles thought maybe you had forgotten that night, but you remembered the way his hand was filmy stuck to the small of your back most of the night, and how he lent down to hear you and how his stubble felt in the palm of your hand, and the butterflies only got worse. 

You were falling harder everyday and you hated yourself for it, he didn't like you back.

Charles carried on with his f1 career with alfa romeo that year and you took up a journalism degree, following around arthur as he navigated the world of f3. You would occasionally bump into Charles when the boys had races at the same circuit. 

But with his first Monaco race you obviously had to be there to support him.

Charles hated how his heart beat boomed in his ear when he saw you standing in his garage with your old ferrari cap on and an alfa romeo shirt with the number 16 on the back hugging your chest. 

You truly had blossomed into a beautiful young woman and Charles found it harder to stay away. Your hair isn't frizzy anymore and you had for sure gone through puberty, he didn't like to stare but he found it hard not to sometimes. Especially on family boat trips when you would wear a bikini in front of him.

The worst part is you hadn't even openly flirted with him in a while, and he couldn't seem to figure out why, and that bothered him so much more than he liked. 

The small little y/n that used to follow him everywhere, always latched to his arm, looking up at him with heart eyes. I mean, you weren't sixteen anymore that was sure, but Charles couldn't help but feel a sense of abandonment that you weren't head over heels for him anymore. 

Charles needed to snake off that weird feelling in his stomach.

You were now 19 about to turn 20, it was the off season and you couldn't wait to soak up some sun on the leclerc yacht. Your favourite summer getaway.

You drove up to the small paddock on a little beach and climbed onto the grey boat, it was charles’, of course. The whole family was there, you were talking to pascal as arthur pulled you around the side of the boat, nearly causing you to break an ankle.

“Erm hello? Watch it.” you scolded him for pulling you so ruffly.

“You're over the whole in love with my older brother thing, right?” he asked, his hand running through his hair.

“I- i why?” you said, clocking your head to the side at Arthurs panicked manor. He knew you had been doing great this year, and he also knew why you declined every single boy that had attempted to ask you out on a date this year. 

“Okay, erm,'' Arthur stood up straight and scratched the back of his head.

“Forget your stuff, let's just get off this boat. And er, don't turn around okay?” he tried to nonchalantly say, his hands gripping your shoulders were a dead give away something was wrong though.

You nodded your head and followed Arthur down the steps of the boat before stopping in your tracks.

“Since when have I ever listened to you? I going to read my book on the sun-”

Your mouth fell open as you turned around to be met with Charles, your Charles with a girl.

A pretty girl, beautiful actually, she was slim and perfect and her smile was enough to make you want to crumble in a ball. 

She was leaning on him, grabbing his bicep as her hand brushed through his hair, he was laughing like really and truly laughing at whatever it was she had to say and you had never felt emotions like the ones you felt in that moment.

You felt like he had personally ripped your heart out himself, no remorse, and had just served it back to you on a silver platter.

He really didn't want you. 

“y/n, i didn't even know he was bringing her i-”

“You knew?”

Arthur sighed before running his hands through his hair, “it's been around four months, mum really likes her, she's nice. I mean she's not you, but he's happy so i can't complain.'' Arthur shrugged his shoulders, not sure how to console you in that moment.

You turned away from the happy couple and sat on the small steps that lead down to the bottom of the yacht. Arthur sat down next to you, pulling your body into his as he wrapped his arm around you.

“What about me? When will I be happy?”

You hadn't realised you were crying until Arthur grabbed your arm and pulled you straight off the boat.

That was your wake up call, you had spent too much of your life waiting for someone that never wanted you. 19 years to be exact, a sad sad story to anyone that knew you. You were embarrassed and angry at yourself. 

You needed to actually move on. 

So that's what you did.

And that's when you met him, a young british boy, he was around your age and drove for a papaya team that shared the f1 grid with charles.

Lando norris.

He was 20, awkward, way too cocky for only his second year, and when you bumped into him in Bahrain of 2020 you chose him to be the one to make you move on.

He asked for your number a few races later and the two of you used to text all the time. He took you on cute picnic dates, asked if he could kiss you before he did, and overall was the kindest most respectful boyfriend a girl could ask for. You were actually happy, and it only took nineteen years.

It was imola when you bumped into Charles in the paddock, his brother wasn't here so he was confused as to why you were here, but then he saw the McLaren hat on your head and his eyebrows furred evenmore.

“y/n?”

“Hello, charles.” you gave him a tight lip smile before moving past him but he chased after you why you walked down the paddock strip. Past the ferrari garage.

“You're a McLaren fan now, huh?” 

“Yep.”

Charles' heart hurt at your bluntness, he grabbed your arm so you would stop walking and talk to him. 

“y/n.” serious charles. That stupid tone that usually made you freeze and obey whatever he had to say.

But this time you rolled your eyes and pulled your arm from his grip.

“Charles, I really have to be somewhere.” you lied, checking your watch.

“Like a journalism thing? Why didn't you tell me you were going to be here, you could have flown with me and Joris?” and Charlotte, but he didn't mention that.

You really tried to pull your eyes from the red drivers suit that was wrapped around his hips, he was a ferrari driver now and you had never been more happy for him. You just wanted to wrap your arms around him and tell him how proud you were of him. 

But right at this moment, you had never wanted to create more distance between you both.

“y/n?” 

Both of your heads snapped as Lando ran up to you, you coughed and took a step back from charles.

Landos arm wrapped around your shoulder as he put out a fist for Charles to spud. Charles' eyes were glued to landos arm resting on your shoulder and he could feel the blood pumping in his heart speeding up.

Lando kissed your temple and Charles' eyes were glued to yours. 

“Charles.” Lando smiled nodding his head.

“Lando.'' Charles' voice was laced with venom, not that Lando noticed. 

“So you guys are?” Charles' eyebrows furred pointing between you both.

“We havent you know, labelled it yet. It's still kind of new” you smiled, it had been months.

“But I'm happy, really happy.” Charles knew that was a message to him, you were happy and he needed to leave you be. But with Lando of all people, Charles couldn't seem to shake this one off.

Charles mumbled something about needing to be somewhere and walked away from you both. Lando again oblivious to the interaction as his arm stayed secured around you and he balabbed on about the race as you walked to the McLaren motorhome.

Charles hated him. 

Charles hated himself for his feelings.

He didn't know why he was so bothered, he had never been this bothered, nothing gotten to him like you and Lando just did. Joris told him maybe it was because he had a soft spot for you deep down, he joked that maybe Charles liked you back and Charles ignored him for the rest of the weekend at that accusation. But that didn't mean he didnt ignore his words. 

It was over, you grew up and he should feel relieved you've moved on, right?

He broke up with Charlotte a month later.

Charles scoffed when you first bought lando along to family night, he hated how your mum loved his accent and how arthur laughed at all his jokes. He hated that he hadn't caught your eye all night, instead your eyes were glued on the stupid little british boys. Charles hated it, he sat there like a toddler that hadn't gotten their own way all night. He knew it was wrong but he hated his feelings more than he hated lando being sat at his table.

Charles was in the kitchen, he was picking at the leftover pie on the table top as everyone else was outside fawning over one of landos stories, he had really charmed the family.

His mother walked into the kitchen as he was taking a bite of cherry pie looking like a caught child, she laughed at the cherry stains in the corner of his mouth and passed him a tissue.

The pair stood in silence for a moment before Pascal spoke up.

“That's definitely not allowed in your diet, my sweet.” she smirked knowing the driver's strict diet.

“But you won't tell on me maman.” Charles flashed his puppy dog eyes as his mum laughed at his actions. She sighed and moved closer to him as he stood up straight. 

“You have a lot on your mind my boy, and don't tell me you don't because I gave birth to you, I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Maman.” Charles sighed.

“This is about her isn't it?” Charles' eyes refused to look at his mother at her words.

“I don't even need to say her name, it's her, it will always be her.” she smiled as she walked over to her son and placed a hand on his cheek.

“She's happy, Charles.'' he heard the sternness in his mothers voice.

“So everyone keeps telling me.” Charles scoffed again.

“So then you know you're being an ass, right?”

Charles' eyes widened at his mothers language but she just laughed and waved him off.

“After all the years she spent pining after you, Charles, it would be cruel for you to not let her be happy.”

“But what if I'm not happy?” he asked his mum, she just sent him a sympathetic smile and grazed his cheek once more.

“Do you love her?”

“I dont know.” Charles shrugged.

“See, it would be cruel to break her heart over this kind of uncertainty. Either you love her or you're just jealous. You have a lot of thinking to do my boy, but don't do anything until you're really sure. She's fragile when it comes to you.”

Charles nodded his head.

His mum was right, he really did have a lot of thinking to do. 

And as if on queue there she was, walking into the kitchen, the widest smile on her face as she grabbed another beer from the fridge. She had started to let her curls rome free recently and it was sending charles’ heart into a spiral, with her stupid little shorts and crocs and no doubt she had conned lando into giving her his jumper. 

She used to do that to him, Charles thought, remembering all the times you had tricked him into stealing his hoodies. 

She smiled at Charles mum and told her again that the food was lovely, nodding at Charles, and she left just as quick as she came in.

“Maman, I'm so in love with her it physically hurts me.”

And there it was, the words you had so desperately wanted to hear your whole life, but you didn't hear a sound as Charles vowed to never say it again out loud. Your happiness came before his.

Charle suffered for a year, he knew he loved you, he had said it out loud once and the vulnerability he felt in that moment knowing you were stood just 15 feet away with the boy you were in love with was enough to make him swear to never voice his feelings again, he was embarrassed and wanted the world to swallow him whole. The worst part was the guilt, he could only feel like he had let one of the best things go, slip straight from his grasp all for a bit of pride. He didn't want to be seen with the young naive girl that had a crush on him, but now he just felt stupid. Stupid that he didn't recognise your love for him sooner, he had always thought you were one of the most amazing humans he had ever met, he found himself looking for you in other people when he didn't even know it. He was stupid, and he knew that for sure.

Charles dedicated the rest of the year to focusing on his f1 seat, with ferrari fucking him and sebastian over and over and after his wins at spa and monza he felt hungry for more and felt that the true love of his life should be formula one.

But his heart hurt when he didn't hear from you after his win in spa, and then it crushed him again when you didn't contact him after his result at monza.

No call.

Not even a text.

He had fully let you slip from his grasp.

It was a long year for Charles that year, and as summer break quickly approached he found girls and training were his favourite pastime. He stopped turning up to family events when he knew lando would be there and you were in love and happy. After a while it was a rarity he would even stay at an event for an hour.

He was 22 and as a new season started the only thing he was talking from lando was his teammate, not that charles was complaining. He liked Carlos, and he was ready to step up and take that 1st driver's seat. He was ready to make everyone proud just like you had promised him that night on the beach.

After a while charles mothers birthday rolled around, one he would definitely not miss as his mother requested a small family meal. Everyone was sitting, looking over the menu when Charles undoubtedly noticed the missing presence of you.

“Where's y/n?” Charles asked Lorenzo, who was sitting next to him.

Lorenzo just shrugged and turned his attention back to his menu, was it normal for you to not attend family outings? Charles hadn't been around for so long he didn't even think to consider that maybe she didn't turn up to these things anymore either.

“With Lando I suppose.” Charles murmured, he tried not to sound jealous but the older brother just laughed.

“Lando?” as he turned to his younger brother.

“Why would she- you really haven't spoken to her have you?” Lorenzo asked, his eyes widening at the thought of his brother being so dumb.

Charles just shrugged his shoulders as he urged his brother to continue.

“They broke up, a while ago actually.”

Charles didnt know why his shoulders felt lighter but he chose to ignore it and try to press some more information out of his brother.

“So? First break up, we've all been there, doesn't mean she can't be here for mamans birthday.'' Charles rolled his eyes as he tried to act like he didn't care.

“She's not even in the country charles.”

Charles' head snapped towards his brothers, “She's taking a gap year, last I heard she was staying in Australia for a while.”

Lorenzo could see the gears turning in charles’ head; he knew he wanted to ask more so he answered for him.

“Hey Arthur, where's y/n these days?” Lorenzo asked his other brother who was at the other end of the table with his girlfriend.

Arthur shrugged before answering, “Still in australia at the moment, she really likes it there, but i told her she cant like it to much because there's no way i'm sitting on a plane for twelve hours every time i want to actually see her face and not on a phone screen.” arthur joked, everyone else laughed along with him for a moment until charles countered up the courage to speak up.

“Why didn't she just travel with formula one? She wanted to be an F1 journalist anyway.”

Arthur's eyes narrowed at his brother. 

You definitely hadn't meant to cause it, but there was a small crack in between the brothers' relationship within the last year. Arthur definitely blamed Charles and his stupid effects on you for you running away.

“She wanted to be away from f1 for a while.'' Arthur told his brother like it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world, hoping to squash this table subject, not really wanting to talk about his run away best friend.

“I mean I don't blame her, especially when her Lando ended like it did. She's living her best life.” Carla, Arthurs girlfriend chimed in. Arthur slightly winced at his girlfriend's words not wanting this to be the dinner conversation tonight, especially when Charles clearly knew nothing about y/n's life within the last year.

“What?'' Charles asked the table, but no one answered him, instead everyone's heads were down dead planted down at the table, everyone except for Carla who had no idea what she had just started.

“Why did no one tell me what's been going on?” charles raised his voice slightly, catching the attention from everyone else on the table.

Charles mother intervened knowing where this was going, “charles, not right now-”

“No, she's been going through something and no one even thought to mention it? What the fuck.”

Arthur was visibly turning red, Charles noticed as Lorenzo's head was shaking telling his little brother now wasn't the time, pleading Arthur to just bite his tongue.

“Say it arthur.”

The flame was lit.

“And who do you think upset her in the first place, charles?” Arthur tutted, picking up his menu pretending to scan it so he didn't have to pay attention to the conversation anymore.

“Drop it, arthur.” Lorenzo sternly interrupted.

“Considering no ones told me anything how the fuck am i supposed to answer that question?” Charles spat back at his brother.

Arthurs cheeks were a visible red now, he was about to blow up. Something he had been holding in for a while. He slammed his menu down and turned to look at his older brother.

“You know what Charles, you have no right! No fucking right, sorry maman for the language-” charles mum just put her hands up in defence as she let her youngest son get it all off his chest. 

“She loved you, and you constantly broke her heart and told her no and then when she was finally happy in a relationship you had to go tell the world you love her so much that ‘it physically hurts you!” Arthur mugged his brother's words.

Charles was shocked, he had no idea what was happening. 

No one knew of his feelings towards you, no one except- charles head snapped towards his mother who pulled a tight lip smile and just shaked her head in a no. Charles was about to deny deny deny when-

“Yeah, she heard it. And it fucking broke her charles. It was mean and it was selfish, and I've never despised someone more than you for what you did to MY best friend.”

“Arthur-”

“I'm not finished. Then you have the decency to finally come to a family meal for the first time in nearly a year, nearly a year charles! And ask about her like you didn't completely cut her and us out of your life? You're selfish, completely and utterly selfish charles.”

Charles sat at the table pale, he felt the colour drain from his face as he scrambled to find the words to say but his mouth didn't open.

“You really do pick and choose your moments brother, I don't know why I even came tonight, I'm sorry maman but I told you I wouldn't be able to sit in a room with him.”

Arthur stood up, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and took Carla's hand in the other.

“I'm really sorry maman, and everyone else, happy birthday, i guess.” Arthur gave his mother a hug and walked out of the restaurant with carla. Leaving everyone else at the table in pure shock.

Especially Charles, he had know idea what to say, he looked up at his mother opposite him who looked at him with sympathy.

“My sweet boy, I'm sorry to say it but there was some truth to your brother's words. I told you she was fragile.”

Charles felt awful.

Charles felt like he was going to cry at the table.

It had been a long year for Charles, he had groveld for the most of it, thinking you were happy somewhere while Lando flew you anywhere and everywhere around the world. Now he came to think of it, maybe there was a better reason for the young mclaren driver avoiding him.

He wasn't really friends with Lando, but his teammate, Carlos was close with the boy and whenever there was an offer for the three of them to hang out Lando magically had something come up and couldn't attend. 

It all made sense now. Even the fact he hadn't seen you in the paddock, he thought maybe you were caught up in your studies, oh how he was wrong.

He sat at the table for the rest of the meal, and with every passing comment he didn't think he could sink more into his chair.

He was an awful person, he thought.

When the family were leaving the restaurant Charles hugged his family members, swallowing the anxiety and embarrassment down.

He looked over at Lorenzo who sent him a sympathetic smile, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Tonight wasn't supposed to go like that, i told arthur to just drop it i-”

“No, it's okay. I deserved it.”

“I dont know, you fucked up, but you didnt need to run, nether did she.'' Lorenzo, his older brother shrugged.

“What happened? With her and lando." Charles pushed.

“alot .” lorezono chucked.

“I don't know if it's my place to-” enzo sighed at that stupid little puppy dog face his younger brother was pulling.

“I'm pretty sure she cheated on him, Arthur said as she fell into a bit of a hole. So the only thing she really could do was just leave Monaco for a while. She seems good, Charles, healthy and happy." Lorenzo shrugged, watching as Charles' eyes widened and he latched onto every word. 

“If it's any closure she's not mad at you, Arthur, well I'm sure he would be he loves y/n like a twin sister, but she's not mad at you. She was just confused and hurt.”

“If i call her-'' Charles started but his voice flattened as he realised it would ne dumb to contact you.

“Call her Charles, I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you.”

You knew what today was, arthur's molthers birthday. You had called her in the morning sending her your love and wishes, she told you that Charles was attending the meal and Arthur would be on his best behaviour, little did you know.

You wondered if Charles knew what you were up to, if pascal or lorenzo had been keeping him in the loop.

You were at the beach, cocktail in hand and book in the other, your earphones were in as you hummed to the faint sound of the music and read, but you were disturbed when the rigging was a call from your phone echoing through your earphones, charles.

Pick it up.

Pick it up.

You couldn't do it.

Your body froze in place, you pulled your airpods out, throwing down your book, not caring that you lost the page you were on. You took in a deep breath and picked up your phone, and just as your thumb hovered over the answer button, the ringing stopped.

He had called you?

You needed a moment to think about what you were going to say to him, what he would say.

You so desperately wanted to hear his voice, it had been a year, and you wondered if that was enough time for feelings to vanish.

You looked out at the calm seas for a moment, did you really want to fall back into a loop of pining for him like a puppy. You loved him, loved, past tense. You were a grown woman now, so you opened your phone and called him back.

Ringing.

“Hello?” his voice echoed through the phone.

“Charles?”

You heard his sigh of relief over the phone, and your heart melted all over again, he hadn't even spoken yet, but the closeness of his presence made it all too real.

“I'm sorry.”

He's sorry?

“Charles-”

“I'm sorry, okay. Arthurs right, I was mean and I was selfish and you deserved so much more than what I did to you. From the bottom of my heart y/n/n, I'm so so incredibly sorry.”

“It's- it's okay.” 

You forgave him.

“It's not.”

There was a silence that lingered for a moment.

“What I said, what you heard, it wasn't supposed to happen like that. I really didn't want it to happen that way.” he pleaded over the phone, his breathy voice echoing through the speaker.

“I want to see you.”

More silence.

“Please, y/n.”

“Okay.”

More silence.

“Soon, okay.” There was promise to your words.

“Soon.” he repeated, as though it was something for him to hold onto. 

Soon.

“When I'm ready Charles I'll come home, I'm just not ready yet.” you winced at your own words because you so desperately wanted to see him too.

“Then don't come home- i'll come to you, i'll catch the next plane if i have too just tell me where you are-”

“Charles, I'm not ready yet.” you interrupted him. 

Silence.

Charles wanted to cry, hearing your voice and knowing you were just within reach he wanted to see you, hold you, apologise as much as you would allow him to. He wanted to kiss you and hug you and love you forever, but you weren't ready.

“I'll wait for you, okay? Soon or not.” his voice cracked, and god did it melt your heart.

“I'll see you soon charlie.”

This was feeling a little too much like a goodbye for charles.

“y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Am I too late?’

“Time doesn't apply when it comes to you.” and Charles had hope. He hadn't fully let you slip, yet.

Charles would now spend every waking moment wondering how soon was soon?

But after a while he figured ‘soon’ was a little long, three more months to be precise.

You had left Australia, travelled around more like you wanted to, and you came back to Monaco just before the end of the f1 season.

Charles was already in Abu Dhabi by the time you landed back in monaco.You had asked everyone to not tell him of your arrival.

You were sitting with Arthur in his mothers living room, just like the old days. You told him about your travels while he updated you on his love life and gossip in the paddock.

You had missed this.

And it wasn't until pascal passed you a warm cup of tea and sat with the two of you, sharing her own gossip from the hair salon you realised how much you were ready to be home again.

Arthur had run to his room quickly to grab his trophies to show you and as he walked out of the room your eyes lingered on the suitcases by the door.

“You're going to Abu dhabi?” you asked pascal.

“Tomorrow.” she smiled at you.

Pascal could visibly see the gears turning in your head, she placed a hand on your knee and smiled up at you.

“I don't want to pressure you y/n, and i know you just got back but you should consider it.”

You knew what she meant and you nodded at her with a small smile, and Arthur came back.

You went home a few hours later and sat in your room, if you go you'll see him, but you're going to see him at some point regardless. 

You felt vulnerable.

So completely scared, but that didn't stop you from texting Arthur that night telling him you were going to join him and his family tomorrow.

You were going to see him.

Your time was up.

You were ready.

You meet up with the leclerc family at the airport in the early hours of the morning, your suitcase gripped in your hand as you were mentally preparing yourself to sit on the plane and go over any and every possible outcome this weekend could have.

Arthur sat with Carla at the front, and Pascal was fast asleep. But the chair next to you suddenly became occupied when you looked up and saw the eldest leclerc.

“You look well, y/n.” he smiled down at you.

“Thank you.” you smiled back at lorenzo.

“I think the time away did you good, no?”

“yeah, i really needed some space, but now i'm back and just feeling a little..” you stumbled on your words, struggling to describe your emotions.

“Overwhelmed?”

“Yeah, exactly that.”

“Does he know you're coming?” you knew the ‘he’ lorenzo was referring too.

“I dont think so.”

“He's going to be happy to see you.” lorenzo nudged your shoulder.

“I hope so.” you nervously chucked.

You took in a deep breath and looked back at the eldest leclerc brother, “I'm just anxious, I have no idea how this weekend will pan out. The next time I'll be back on this plane going home I could be happy, sad, crying or planning to run away again. I just feel so lost.”

“Lost isn't a bad thing.'' Lorenzo shrugged.

“He's just as lost as you y/n, trust me. I just hope you both figure it out, you both deserve the peace of mind. And if this all goes to shit, you still got on this plane today and tried.”

“I just don't want to get my hopes up.”

“Then don't, sometimes things aren't just meant to be.”

That's what was worrying, you had loved this man for years, and now was the deciding day if he loved you back or not and you don't know if you were ready to give up the fantasy of him

being the love of your life up yet.

You weren't mentally prepared for the shit outcome of this story, you didn't know if you could handle Charles breaking your heart another time.

When the plane landed and the warm air hit your skin you took in a deep breath. Time to face the music.

You went straight to your hotel, it was a Friday so Charles was about to participate in fp1 by the time you turned up to the track.

The smell of burnt rubber and the sound of happy fans filled your ears, you had missed being in the paddock more than you knew. This place was your home.

You were walking with Arthur and Carla when your name was called, judging by the accent you knew it wasn't the monegasque, it was the papaya coloured boy running up to you.

You told Arthur and Carla you would catch up with them as you stopped and smiled at lando who had now reached you. 

“Hey.” he smiled.

“Hey.” you smiled back awkwardly.

“Listen lando, you deserve an explanation-”

“It's okay y/n, we were young, it was a while ago you’re forgiven.” Lando chuckled as he poked your shoulder.

“But that doesn't mean what I did was okay, you deserve more than what I gave you.” 

Lando gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Consider it done with, okay? No hard feelings.”

You smiled up at the British boy, he looked good, he seemed well and that made your guilt feel a little less painful.

“I erm, I have a girlfriend actually, she's great, her names luisa.”

You watched as he lips upturned at the mention of his girlfriend, he was smitten.

“I'm happy for you landini.”

You both laughed for a moment, the free air was nice. Seeing lando meant there was a weight lifted off your shoulders.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing, I didn't want things to be awkward.” he said.

“I don't think I could ever be awkward around you.” Lando smiled at your words.

“Are you still thinking about becoming an F1 journalist?” he asked, remembering how it was your dream, he had also hoped your disappearance in the paddock for the last year wasn't his doing, stopping you from reaching your dream.

You smiled as he remembered, “I'm working on it.”

“Well i hope i see you around more often then, you deserve it y/n, really.”

Lando was getting called from the other end of the paddock as he had to be in his car within the next 10 minutes, you both shared a hug and it felt nice to feel comfortable with him.

His hands squeezed your back before saying a quick bye and skipping down the paddock. 

As he pulled away and walked past, your eyes connected with them all to familiar grey ones you were so nervous to see.

Charles.

He didn't seem too happy though.

He had just watched you smile and laugh with your ex in the middle of the paddock and then hug him bye, even though you thought nothing of it, Charles' mind was spinning.

There he was, a tight lipped smile right opposite you. He had grown out his stubble and he looked tired. You knew he hadn't had the best of seasons with Ferrari, you didn't keep up with it too much, it upset you that his childhood team had failed him massively. 

He nodded his head and followed his press officer in the opposite direction, but you weren't going to let him go just yet.

“Charles, wait!”

And before you could process it you were running, sprinting down the paddock after him, but he had already disappeared into ferrari hospitality.

“Shit.” you mumbled as you jogged down to the garages in hopes of catching up with him.

You scanned your pass and walked into the back of the garage Pascal had walked up to you and grabbed your hand.

“You need to put some headphones on dear, it gets loud in -”

“Pascal, where did he go?” you asked her frantically, like a mad woman out of breath.

“Charles?”

“yes!”

A slight smile just appeared on her face as she turned around, “Be quick dear, I think I can see him putting his balaclava on.” She pushed your shoulder and you walked around the red barrer that clearly said ‘no public entry’.

“You can't be back here, ma'am.” a security officer grabbed the back of your bicep.

“No, I need to get through, it's an emergency.” you whined, pulling your arm from his grip.

“I'm sorry ma’am, it's a safety hazard.” the man's grip tightened on your arm as he pulled you away from the back of the garage. You pushed off him but his grip only improved as he swept you off the floor, lifting you up at your attempt to run. You kicked your legs like a child learning to swim and kicked arms that trapped you.

“If you refuse to cooperate, I'll have no choice but to remove you from the garage.” he said, trying to dodge your feisty little kicks.

“And If you don't get your slimy huge hands off me right now i'm going to-”

“y/n?!”

Your head snapped at the sound of your name, Jorris, Charles' best friend.

“Jorris, oh thank god!”

“She's okay, she can come in.” Jorris grabbed your other hand and wiggled you away from the huge security man's grip as he dropped you back to the floor. You brushed off your dress and gave the security man a dirty look before turning to Charles' best mate.

“Jorris, where is he?” your breathing was rapid and your heart beat feeling like it was thumping out your chest.

“y/n you really shouldn't.” he sent you a sympathetic smile.

“Please.” you pleaded with him. After seeing you try to fight a six foot five security man Joris really didn't want to feel the wrath of you right now, so he complied.

“You have five minutes, follow me.” he led you through the back of the garage.

Whenever Charles got in the car he liked to be left alone to his own devices, it was his switch off time, but you knew on some occasions he didn't mind the company, you just needed to talk to him, tell him you were here for him. You didn't want him getting in the car overthinking that you were here for lando.

And before you knew it, there he was, standing in front of you, you were painting out of breath with your hands on your knees as you looked up at him.

Charles giggled as you held up a finger to let him know you were still getting your breath back. He pulled his ear pieces out of his ear and zipped up the rest of his race suit.

“I hate to rush you, but I have to be in the car in four minutes.” Charles frowned, “and four minutes aren't enough for what I have to say to you, y/n.”

“Let's keep it short and sweet then.” you stood up straight and smiled at the boy.

“Im sor-” he started but you cut him off.

“That's not what I meant by sweet.”

Charles squeezed his eyes and winced at his name being called behind him, he opened his eyes and saw you beaming up at him and he knew he was in love, he just wasn't going to tell you yet, especially not if he had just witnessed you make up with lando. Lando made you happy, Lando didn't break your heart on multiple occasions like he had. Charles wouldn't blame you if you went back to the British driver.

You tilted your head to the left and smiled at Chris, Charles' manager. He was pointing at his watch and tapping his foot.

You looked back at Charles and took in a deep breath, you stood on your tip toes and placed your arms on his shoulders, gently placing a kiss to his cheek.

Your soft lips connecting with his ruff stubble is something Charles cherished, he couldn't wipe the Cheshire cat grin off his face.

“I know it's only a practice session, but good luck out there charlie.”

“Thank you.” he smiled, trying to hide his blush. He couldn't believe he was blushing and how the roles had reversed between the two of you.

“What about lando?” he had to ask, it was on his mind.

“I'm not standing next to Lando wishing him good luck right now, am i?” you smirked at him.

Charles smiled before looking back at his manager, he bent down and kissed your forehead like he had done a thousand times, but this time it felt different, electric, it felt like love. It was love.

“I'll be waiting for you, okay?” you told him.

Charles smiled to himself, he wasn't too late.

If anything was on Charles' side that day it wasnt timing. Charles finished fp2 with a few flying laps and a heavy heart, his first plan was to find you but his press officer had forced him to do interviews, and then he had a meeting and then he had checked his watch and it was way past nine and he knew you were probably back at the hotel by now.

He huffeed as he left his meeting, grabbing his jumper and keys and saying goodbye to the engineers that were going to work on the car overnight.

He had it all planned in his head, he was going to get some flowers on the way home, knock on your hotel door and ask you on a date.

“Charles!” called out his manager, he really hoped he didn't have to stay in this hell hole any longer, he just wanted to leave the track and get his girl.

“What?” he huffed.

“She waited.”

“What?” Charles repeated, his manager now having his full attention. 

Charles caught the way his manager's lips turned into a devilish smirk, but he wasn't looking at Charles, yet something behind him. When he whipped his head around there you were, his heart thumped at the massively oversized ferrari jacket one of the staff must have given you to keep you warm while you waited.

You just smiled at him and waited for him to walk to you, but charles sprinted, he was a man on a mission and when he got to you his hands slipped around your waist, pulling you up in the air for a moment before he dropped you back down, his hands still remaining tightly wrapped around your torso.

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear before placing his forehead on yours.

“Take what's yours charlie.” you smiled. 

Charles' thumb gently traced over your plump bottom lip before he placed his hand on your cheek, smiling like an idiot. 

He slowly grazed his lips on your before gently adding pressure and connecting your soft lips with his in a quick kiss. A kiss that was full of smiles as Charles pulled you as close to him as possible. Towering over you as he kissed you unlike he had kissed anyone ever. The way your lips moved in sync with his was magic to him, it had never felt like this before.

He pulled back letting you get some air, before using that as leverage to stick his tongue in your mouth, he put all his power and passion into the kiss and it was just as you imagined him to be with you. Sensual and passionate. 

Your hands ran along his shoulders and up to his head where you gently tucked on his hair. Charles groned on your lips and eventually pulled back, he giggled as he placed his forehead on yours again. 

“All mine, finally.” He said through a wide smile.

“I've always been yours…”

Thank you for reading!! Here’s a gif of baby Charles because this is how i imagined him when y/n had her teenage crush. Bare faced and spiky hair🥹

[aphroditelovesu]

Hello. Yandere husband Aegon the Conqueror ?

❝ 🔥 — lady l: I love Aegon and I feel that lacks content for him, so I'm doing my part. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of death and toxic relationships.

❝🔥pairing: yandere!aegon the conqueror x female!reader.

Even though Aegon already had two wives, he still chose to marry you. People often say he married Visenya out of duty, Rhaenys out of desire, and you out of love. But what few knew was how much in love he was with you.

Aegon the Conqueror dedicated his love to you intensely and silently. Amid the challenges of the newly unified kingdom, your presence was his strength. There was no doubt who his favorite wife was.

Some said you were chosen as his third wife as a way to stake a greater claim on Westeros, still fragile after the Conquest. You were a good choice, you came from a good family and you had honor, which was enough for others, but Aegon was in love, he was obsessed.

He fell in love with you quickly, being enchanted by your manner, your personality and your beauty. There was something about you that attracted him and he knew he couldn't let you go. He wanted you to become his wife and so it was done.

Some expected reservations from his sister-wives, but there were none. Visenya and Rhaenys liked you and supported Aegon's choice. The preparations were made and you quickly married him, becoming his third wife, Queen and the one he loved most.

Life with Aegon brought joys and challenges. His obsession flourished even in difficult times, consolidating a unique partnership between you. The court commented on the happiness that emanated from the king when he was at your side, and the union between you strengthened the bonds of the kingdom.

He was a loving and dutiful husband, Aegon would always make sure that you were happy and satisfied and if there was something that bothered you, you should talk to him without hesitation. Your happiness was the priority for him.

Aegon pampers you without limits, bathing you in gold, jewels and silks, everything worthy of a Queen. Your whims and desires were met immediately. If you just wanted to eat cake for breakfast, for example, you would have cake every day.

Your husband always sought your advice, confident in the wisdom and vision you brought, your opinion was always considered the most important. The complicity between you was evident, and although it aroused envy in some, Aegon would not let them harm you.

You played a vital role as the king's advisor and confidant, contributing to the stability of the kingdom. Aegon, in turn, never failed to express his gratitude and admiration for the woman he chose as his Queen. He adored you completely, from head to toe and would make sure you knew that every night.

Most nights, Aegon spent by your side. He shared a room with you, unusual for Kings, but he wasn't just any King. He loved you more than anything and wanted you to know that. He loved sleeping cuddled with you, your legs tangled together and arms wrapped around you. Aegon feels at peace by your side.

The harmony between you, Visenya, and Rhaenys solidifies the strength of the Triple Crown. The three of you, the Three Queens, work together to overcome political and social challenges, uniting the kingdom under the symbol of the dragon. Your presence, as the beloved Queen, triggers a period of stability and prosperity.

Aegon is extremely overprotective and possessive over you and this only got worse after Rhaenys' death. He knows he would go crazy if something happened to you and he can't allow anything to happen. He's suffocating and will be breathing down your neck for as long as he can and will kill anyone if they cross you, if they cross him.

You are the only person who can truly control him and Aegon will be happy to let you do so. There is no doubt about who holds all the power over him. Aegon would do anything for you, he would kill everyone for you, slaughter anyone for you. Yours and yours alone.

Once Rhaenys died, Aegon's obsession only grew stronger, Visenya's as well. They lost someone important and not all the destruction caused is enough to make up for it, they couldn't lose you too. Aegon cannot lose you. May the gods forbid, but if something were to happen to you... The world will know the true fury of the dragon.

Your love with Aegon not only stood the tests of time but blossomed into a deep connection that inspired songs and legends. In the halls of the Red Keep, where the flames danced, it was clear that your union was more than political; it was a bond intertwined by the most darkest feelings. It was a shame the bards didn't know about his obsession.

Aegon loves you, he truly does, and although he may be consumed by jealousy and anger, he would never lay a finger on you. He respects you too much to humiliate you in such a way. After all, you are his wife and his Queen and his favorite.

[aledmorningstar]

╰┈➤Bad joke

Summary: Sukuna discovers that you don't like jokes.

Relationship: Ryomen Sukuna/Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Note: Slow updates, my editor and I are in a fight with my university administrators.

-‘๑’-: No curses au, uni au, sfw, humor, fluff, slight angst

The terrible hours of class had finally ended, the hard day of university had culminated its torture at 6:00 pm, every day you reconsidered the idea of ​​continuing studying so intensely, did you really need that university degree?

Without a doubt, life sounded more beautiful in an imaginary world, being a pretty housewife who patiently waited for her millionaire husband who loved her madly, your days would be spent helping your children with their homework and wasting an unreasonable amount of money on any whim.

“We've told you to stop daydreaming, it could be dangerous in the wrong places.”

Your daydream was interrupted by one of your best friends, it seemed like your group of friends had already finished putting away their belongings and were just waiting for you to leave the classroom.

"Oh I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the future."

“Is the young lady returning to the fantasy of married life with her impolite boyfriend?”

"Hey! I already told you not to talk about him like that."

You argue while you put your notebooks and computer in your bag, the one that your boyfriend Ryomen had given you on your birthday even though you told him that a gift was not necessary, you knew how difficult it must be for him and how limited which can sometimes be the money in your situation; his mother, playing the role of both parents and trying to provide a bright future for her children; Yuji, his twin who had to complete several courses to be a firefighter and also study a Bachelor's degree in automotive mechanics; and finally Ryomen himself, who had to complete his university career as a lawyer.

It was definitely not easy for him or his family, unlike you, who had lived the life of a princess in an imaginary bubble impenetrable by the dangers and worries of reality. Even though you had insisted on helping that modest family financially, you were not allowed to do so. Both Sukuna and his brother and mother refused to accept a cent of your generous support, saying that they did not want to take advantage of your kindness. That did not stop them from you gave expensive gifts to each one on special dates.

Maybe that was the reason behind that expensive gift from your boyfriend, one day he simply listened to you talk about that beautiful designer bag that was going to become fashionable with its next release on sale, he used all his savings and even did part-time jobs, washing cars, walking dogs, helping model clothes for the fashion design department; just to be able to see a cute and excited smile on your face.

You are a princess, the most beautiful flower he could find and of course he would give you everything you deserve, everything that fine society has given you and he does his best so that you do not have any lack by his side, to be worthy of you.

You didn't have the heart to tell him that you had pre-ordered that bag thanks to your father's contacts and that you had to refund it, angering some merchants for their wasted efforts.

“Hurry up, if we don't get to the cafe on time the tables will be full.”

Like every Friday you and your friends got together to talk about the latest news in your lives, your social circle was mostly made up of girls just as privileged as you, it wasn't difficult for your father to convince you to choose a career in law, much less make you enter one of the most demanding and prestigious schools in the country.

Your friends are good girls, you knew that otherwise you wouldn't have even looked at them; However, like you, they were overprotected and followed the sophisticated rules that society had imposed on them. This was one of the reasons why they didn't quite agree with your relationship with Ryomen Sukuna, a commoner in their eyes.

Like any conversation between friends, the topic of boys and relationships could not be avoided, a topic in which you came to light with your strange relationship of “opposite poles”, the little princess of the city and the delinquent of the campus, it was the funniest and most interesting experiment your friends could witness.

“So… How is our little princess's relationship going? Did he already ruin it?”

Of course there were going to be silly comments that doubted that your relationship was authentic and that waited for the slightest mistake from your boyfriend to shout in your face “I told you so.”

"No and he won't, you don't know my 'kuna"

“We know his history”

Even though all your friends were always supportive and kind to you, there was one in particular who wasn't very nice. Ann, always making sarcastic comments and believing herself to be better than everyone, everyone could see how jealous she was of you; She had been the last to join the group, one day you saw her alone and decided to integrate her into your group, unfortunately you never found the words to tell her that you no longer wanted to be her friend.

“Come on, darling, everyone here remembers how your relationship began.”

“He has changed, he is not the same person he was before, he is a new man”

Sure, your relationship may not have started off in the most convincing way possible, there were lies, misunderstandings and a lot of tears, but everything is different now. Now you have the romance that any girl could dream of, one full of love, affection and trust of those you only find in books, you would have your happily ever after.

“Well, I'll wait for your bad boy to do one of his things and don't say I didn't warn you.”

"When pigs fly, that's not going to happen"

The atmosphere had frozen in an awkward silence as you and Ann exchanged a big forced smile, it was strange to see you angry because of your sweet personality, but it would certainly be even stranger not to see you jump into an argument that included Ryomen Sukuna's name, you are his unofficial lawyer.

“Okay girls, let's talk about something else…”

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

You love Fridays, the best day of the week, since you could sleep over at your loved one's house and enjoy the weekend in his arms watching movies, doing puzzles, taking photos, listening to music, talking, watching videos, going out on dates, ordering takeout or even when he played a video game on the console and you were left coloring the pictures he printed for you (sometimes he needs his space).

That Friday the drawings were finished quickly, so you decided to watch some videos on your tiktok while Sukuna played a video game that you only knew had weapons because of the shots. The videos on your fyp were about pranks between couples (something that amused you), some light and others a little harsh.

Sukuna was someone who was a joker, someone who liked to make jokes but couldn't stand having one played on him; However, you were a couple, a slight joke between you could be kind of funny, it wasn't even a funny joke you just wanted to see how funny his reaction could be.

A message made Sukuna's phone ring, you thought it was the perfect time for your little act as you held back your laughter.

“Who is sending you so many messages? You have another girl, right?”

Your comment surprised Sukuna slightly, you weren't the jealous type, he looked at you for a split second and that was enough for him to know you were joking, he can play too.

"Oh my love. It's not even one girl, they´re five precious ones."

The amused smile that adorned your face disappeared in an instant, being replaced by a strange grimace, your eyes glistening from the tears that formed and that you refused to let go as you bit your trembling lower lip, preventing any sound.

"Really?"

“Of course, pretty. I'm too cool to stay with just one girl."

Memories of your conversation with Ann invaded your mind, Sukuna Ryomen had a past that was difficult to overcome, would he really change overnight for you?

Your boyfriend quickly realized that you had started packing your belongings back into your suitcase, why would you do that? The plan was that you would stay with him like every weekend, what was happening?

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

Well, you had dropped a little bomb that exploded in your face and you didn't like it, but you wouldn't let him notice that it dealt a low blow at least for you.

“I'm just putting my things away. “Can you pass me my colored pencils?”

Sukuna decided to make the difficult decision to abandon his game and pay attention to the seemingly serious situation that was occurring with his beloved.

He did as you asked, you put away your colored pencils next to your other belongings with quick movements and finally wrote something furiously on your phone.

“I asked you a question, what are you doing?”

“Nothing… I'm asking my driver to come pick me up.”

"Now?"

“Yes, now. In fact I'm writing to him 'Please hurry up, I want to leave here right now, come as fast as you can'”

You could barely feel the force and speed with which Ryomen snatched the phone from your hands, he stood up and placed your phone on one of the highest pieces of furniture in the living room.

"Why would you do that?"

"What do you mean why? Did you hear what you said earlier?”

The hardest question you can ask a man, ask him the reason why his girlfriend was angry. The pink-haired man's reasoning quickly went to work.

Connect the dots, you had gotten angry within a period of 5 minutes, you weren't angry with him before that time, all he had done was play video games. Had that bothered you? No, he had given you drawings of your favorite characters to entertain you, the only thing he had done besides playing had been answering your joke... Oh.

“Ah, that's it.”

“Is that all you will say?”

Okay, a mental note for Sukuna: You like making jokes, you don't like having them made or returned to you. You're a crybaby, but he still loves you.

“Sorry, love, it was a joke. You know that I only love you, you are the only girl who occupies my heart, the owner of my soul and my body, I would kill for you, ask me to kill for you."

Ryomen approached to hug you from behind, he placed one of his hands on your abdomen and one on your shoulder, crossing your chest to bring you closer to him, you could feel his breath on your neck and after a few seconds you shivered from the kisses he gave you. he left on your cheek.

“I didn't find your joke funny.”

“In my defense, you started joking that I had another woman. You’re a baby, jokes aren’t your thing, darling.”

The look on your face made him feel like he had just kicked a puppy, his solution was to carry you back to the couch and hold you in his arms.

"I'm sorry baby. You can choose the movie we watch today, deal?”

"Deal"

⋆·˚ ༘ *🔭 master list is here

[edenesth]

TWTHH Spinoff: Love to Hate You [1]

Pairing: royal secretary!San x female scholar!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 5k

Summary: San prided himself on his knack for building easy connections with women, viewing himself as a trusted ally for the opposite gender. Thanks to his deep bonds with his mother and sister, he possessed keen insights into the female mindset. Never did he imagine facing the ire of a woman, until he encountered a resolute female scholar with a strong dislike towards men.

A/N: As stated in the title, this is a spinoff. If you have yet to check out the main story, it's probably better to read that before starting this.

Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 2

"Moon Siwoo, you get over here this instant!" you commanded, hands planted firmly on your hips as you glared at your twelve-year-old brother, who grumbled and rubbed his eyes sleepily while trudging reluctantly toward you.

"But noona, it's too early!" he protested, his pout aimed at evoking your sympathy, but you merely shook your head in disapproval.

Your mother sighed beside you. "Please go easy on him," she implored, but you met her plea with a stern gaze. "And who went easy on me, mother? If you keep coddling him like this, he'll grow up to be just another one of those entitled brats who call themselves a man. Is that what you want?"

Defeated, she fell silent and retreated to prepare lunchboxes for you and your brother. The silence spoke volumes, conveying the weight of the elderly woman's guilt as she grappled with your palpable disdain for men. Ever since little Siwoo came into the world, you had made it your mission to ensure he wouldn't become one of those disappointing individuals who claim to be men.

Of course, your dislike wasn't unfounded.

Your late father, already lacking as a parent, succumbed to his drinking problem not long after your brother's birth, leaving you, the eldest, to shoulder the family's responsibilities. But that wasn't the worst of it; his demise was overshadowed by the circumstances of his death—a result of excessive drinking in a brothel, of all places. It was a fact that brought you little sorrow.

Throughout your childhood, he imposed expectations meant for a son onto you, driven by his own unfulfilled aspirations of becoming a respected scholar in Joseon society. However, his misguided attempts at moulding you into his image of success involved subjecting you to gruelling and excessive lessons from a young age. At that time, your mother held little sway and dared not challenge him. Consequently, there was no one to shield you from his demands.

The irony lay in his expectations for you to excel, despite setting a horrible example. He often cited stress as justification for indulging in alcohol, initially venturing out for brief outings with "friends" before progressively extending his absences. Eventually, his nights away grew longer until he would vanish entirely, only returning the following morning reeking of different women's perfumes each time.

Therefore, you would be lying if you said you didn't harbour resentment toward your father. Discovering his passing brought a sense of relief, even if it meant assuming a heavier burden on your young shoulders. Life had never been easy for you in the first place, and you gladly accepted the added responsibility of supporting your mother and younger brother without the presence of a tyrant dictating your actions at home.

Yet, just when you thought the worst was over, you bore witness to the struggles faced by women around you as you juggled odd jobs while pursuing your studies independently, preparing for the state examination—the initial step toward achieving the status of a scholar-official. During this period, you witnessed firsthand how women were often relegated to the roles of mere child-bearers and servants to men who offered little in return. It was almost funny how they depended on women for everything while simultaneously treating the female gender as inferior.

This realisation fueled your determination to become the first female scholar, not to uphold your useless father's legacy, but to advocate for the marginalised women who lacked influential advocates to champion their cause and facilitate change.

Over a decade has passed since those tumultuous times. Now that Siwoo had reached an appropriate age, you resolved to enrol him in school after years of personally tutoring him to impart basic knowledge and skills, aiming to cut costs. You had taught him enough to grasp reading and writing. With him now eligible to enter the foundational levels of education mandated for embarking on the path to becoming a scholar-official, you were resolute in instilling him with your aspirations.

"Too early, you say? Would you rather rise with the sun for school or face punishments then?" you challenged, lifting an eyebrow.

Amusement danced in your eyes as the child's gaze widened in fear, vigorously shaking his head. "No, please! I'll behave and go to school! Spare me from standing in the corner for hours again, noona!"

"Now, that's my good boy," you gentled your tone, tousling his hair affectionately and straightening his slightly dishevelled hanbok. "How many times have I reminded you to tie the ribbons neatly like this? The teachers will scold you if they're not done properly, and you wouldn't want to make a poor impression on your first day. You'll make mother and me proud, won't you?"

He grinned brightly, "Yes, noona!"

Watching from the sidelines, your mother's heart swelled with warmth. Despite your stern demeanour at times, she was aware you loved him more than anything, knowing you could never be overly harsh. You had a knack for striking the right balance, teaching valuable lessons while showing him care and affection. Even as her daughter, she sometimes felt there was much she could learn from you.

"Alright, here are your lunchboxes, kids. Make sure to finish them, okay?" she instructed, passing the bags to you, receiving a smile in return.

"Got it! Don't worry, mother!" he chirped, saluting playfully.

"Thank you, mother. You should rest well while this little monkey heads off to school. How's your back feeling? I can swing by the apothecary for more herbs if you need any," you offered.

She shook her head, gently patting your cheek. "I'm fine, dear. Don't spend money unnecessarily. Some rest will do. Now hurry along before you both end up late."

With an arm around Siwoo, you guided him alongside you after bidding farewell to your mother. Your next stop was dropping him off at the nearest school before heading to the palace yourself to borrow some books not readily available in the public library. Having already passed the first two preliminary examinations with flying colours, only the final one stood between you and the coveted title of scholar-official. You were determined to complete it all swiftly, eager to finally begin making tangible contributions for the women of Joseon.

As you reached the entrance of your alma mater, you handed your brother his bag. "Alright, the teachers are expecting you. Please remember to behave and keep in mind what I've taught you—always be respectful and avoid causing trouble for anyone. Stay attentive and don't hesitate to ask questions if you're unsure. You won't learn anything by staying silent," you reminded, smoothing down his hair.

He nodded earnestly. "I won't forget, noona."

You grinned, pinching his cheek gently. "Good, I'll be here to pick you up after school. Wait right here if I haven't arrived yet. And don't wander off with anyone, understood?"

He swatted your hand away, rubbing his cheek. "Yeah, yeah. How could I forget? You've been drilling that into me for a week now. Bye, noona."

"Goodbye, Siwoo," you murmured, watching him enter the school gates and noticing the familiar figure of one of your teachers, Master Lee, waiting to greet him. Meeting the kind elderly man's gaze, you bowed deeply in gratitude. He was one of the few genuinely good men you had encountered in your life. Back then, understanding the difficulties you faced with your father's strictness, he had always strived to ease your burdens at school. Being the lone girl in a predominantly male institution also made you susceptible to bullying, but in this teacher's presence, you found solace.

He had also played a crucial role in securing your brother's enrollment. While your own admission might have been facilitated by your father's connections, the same couldn't be said for Siwoo, lacking influential or affluent backing. It was your close relationship with Master Lee that ensured his placement in the school.

As the man gave you a reassuring nod before guiding your brother into the school, you lingered for a moment, watching them until they disappeared from sight. You couldn't shake off the constant worry for the kid. The fear of him being bullied once his classmates discovered he didn't have a father plagued your thoughts. Yet, deep down, you understood this was necessary for his growth. After all, you faced similar challenges alone during your own schooling years.

You pushed aside those concerns, reminding yourself that Master Lee would be there to look out for him. With a heavy heart, you reluctantly turned away, knowing that as his elder sister, there was only so much you could do. The rest was up to him.

He'll survive; stop worrying.

Walking away from the school, you reminded yourself of your own priorities for now. Your focus needed to be on studying and acing the final examination. With that thought in mind, you set off towards the palace, your mind already forming a mental list of all the books you would need from the royal library.

Each step brought a sense of determination, the weight of responsibility settling firmly on your shoulders. You couldn't afford to let yourself be consumed by worry for Siwoo, not when your own future depended on your success in the upcoming examination.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I will deliver the latest batch of minutes and reports to General Park to ensure he is kept informed by today," San stated in his customary professional manner before bowing deeply.

The King nodded, gesturing with his hand to dismiss the secretary. "Very well. Proceed. And do not detain him unnecessarily; I am sure he is eager to spend every moment with his wife," he remarked, chuckling softly into his fists, pleased by the transformation of his once stoic general into a loving and affectionate husband.

"Understood, Your Majesty," the younger man replied, stepping back to excuse himself from the throne room.

As he made his way to his office to retrieve the documents before heading to the general's estate, he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. With a furrowed brow, his steps faltered and he scanned the surroundings, searching for the source. Finally, his gaze settled on what appeared to be the fourth prince, observing him intently from a nearby pavilion. Despite the surprise, San maintained a neutral expression, not wanting to appear impolite.

Meeting Prince Yeosang's eyes, he offered a deep bow in greeting. His Highness reciprocated the gesture with a nod but continued to watch as the royal secretary attempted to move away.

Does he... want something from me?

San let out a deep sigh, internally debating whether to approach the prince. He knew Yeosang wasn't particularly sociable and might find it difficult to initiate conversations, despite any desire he had to do so. Finally, he made up his mind and veered towards the pavilion where the fourth prince was seated.

With a respectful bow, the royal secretary pretended not to notice the small breath of relief that escaped Yeosang upon his arrival. "Good day, Your Highness. It's unusual to see you out. How have you been faring?" he asked politely, mindful of the prince's ongoing punishment, which restricted his access to most areas even within the palace.

Yeosang gestured towards the seat across from him. "As well as one can be, considering my limited movements. Please, Secretary Choi, take a seat, and let us have a chat."

Giving in to the prince's invitation, San settled down and accepted the offered cup of tea. "Thank you, Your Highness. What would you like to discuss?" he asked patiently, allowing Yeosang time to collect his thoughts. As the prince struggled to articulate himself, the royal secretary calmly finished his tea, maintaining an expectant gaze upon His Highness.

After what felt like an eternity, Yeosang cleared his throat before speaking, "H-how is she...?" San immediately understood whom he was referring to but chose to feign ignorance. "I don't think it would be right for me to make any assumptions. Whom do you mean by 'she,' my prince?" he inquired.

Flustered, the prince sighed, avoiding San's gaze as he replied, "Lady Park, the general's wife... I noticed General Park hasn't been attending assemblies for a while now, and I was just... you know, wondering if everything is alright with her or... them."

The royal secretary's demeanour softened at Yeosang's inquiry. Offering a warm smile, he reassured, "Your Highness, please do not worry. Things are more than fine over at the general's estate. I didn't think it'd be right for you to hear this from me, but it seems there's no avoiding it, especially given your current restriction from leaving the palace."

Yeosang's curiosity sparked further. "What news do you speak of? Please, tell me."

San hesitated briefly before disclosing the truth. "Lady Park is, um... well, she's expecting, my prince. That's why the general has taken time off from work to care for her."

The prince fell silent for a moment, processing the news, while the royal secretary observed the myriad of emotions crossing His Highness' face. Finally, Yeosang croaked out, "I suppose that means he's treating her well then, yes?"

San nodded reassuringly. "Yes, he is. Perhaps when His Majesty pardons your punishment, you could pay them a visit. I'm sure Lady Park would appreciate seeing you."

The prince nodded slowly. "That's good... and yes, I think I will."

After a brief pause, the secretary spoke again. "Well, if that's all, I should probably return to work, Your Highness."

Yeosang nodded in understanding. "O-oh yes, of course. Don't let me keep you any longer. Thank you, Secretary Choi."

With a polite nod, San took his leave, continuing on his way to his office. His mind couldn't help but wander, pondering whether the prince still held any feelings for the general's wife. Even if he did, the secretary reasoned, at least His Highness was gracious enough to accept and acknowledge that he didn't stand a chance.

As he walked, his steps faltered, and he did a double take when he noticed a figure he had long wanted to meet—the first of your kind. He had heard much about your impressive performance in the preliminary exams. You must be here to prepare for your final examination. Eager to make your acquaintance, he rushed over, only to be met with the last thing he had expected.

"I'm just trying to help, Scholar Moon," the royal secretary insisted, his arms emptying as the stack of books he was previously carrying was abruptly snatched away by the newly acquainted female scholar.

You scoffed in response, "I don't remember asking for your help, sir. I understand it must be quite intriguing to meet a female scholar for the first time. However, there's a reason I'm the first. I'm not your typical damsel in distress. I don't need saving. While you may be used to women swooning at your feet, rest assured, I won't be one of them."

San stood in stunned silence as he watched you storming off in a fit of anger, completely taken aback by your hostile response to his well-intentioned gesture.

He had stumbled upon you as you exited the royal library burdened with a stack of borrowed books, his innate helpfulness and gentlemanly nature immediately prompted him to offer assistance without hesitation. But rather than the customary grateful smile and expression of thanks he anticipated, he couldn't believe he was met with such an unexpected and vehement reaction.

Did I... do something wrong?

A court lady standing nearby widened her eyes in disbelief. "Did you seriously just say that? Do you even know who he is?"

You rolled your eyes dismissively. "Probably just a eunuch, why?" you retorted, waving off her concern. "I doubt any high-ranking officials would pay me any mind."

"Well, you're correct about that. He's not a high-ranking official, but he is someone close to the King. He's the royal secretary," she disclosed, causing your heart to nearly stop as you gaped at her.

He's the what?!

After taking a moment to compose yourself, you blinked rapidly before turning around, only to find him already gone. With a sigh, you faced the court lady again, wearing an expression as if you had done nothing wrong. "Okay, well, as you said, he isn't a high-ranking official. Just a mere secretary. What's he going to do about it? Run to the king like a spoiled little brat? It will be fine," you said, though it sounded more like you were convincing yourself than her.

Suppressing a chuckle behind her hand, she nodded in agreement. "Well, you're not wrong about being fine. Royal Secretary Choi is known to be one of the nicest people. I'm sure he will let it slide," she reassured you with a gentle smile.

Your brows furrowed sceptically. "One of the nicest people, huh? I know men like that; wolves in sheep's clothing. They'll treat you well, make you feel indebted, and then exploit you eventually."

She sighed in resignation, shaking her head in disbelief. "I know nothing I say now will change your mind, but with time, you'll see he isn't anything like that at all."

You replied with a wry smile, "With time? No, I hope I never run into him again. I have no interest in his character. Nevertheless, thank you for the insight. I'll remember to steer clear if I ever see him again. Good day, madam." With a polite bow, you bid her farewell and continued with your day.

As you made your way back to your educational institution to resume your studies, you couldn't help but scoff as you reflected on the encounter with that man and the favourable reputation he tried to cultivate in the palace. Being no stranger to such types, you recognised his type: those who exploited their charm and false kindness to manipulate others. They always seemed to get what they wanted, with people readily bending to their will. It was a trait you detested. This royal secretary appeared to be cut from the same cloth.

But if he thought you would succumb to his charm like the other court ladies and comply with his wishes, he was sorely mistaken. You hoped you wouldn't have to see him again.

Despite feeling a twinge of embarrassment for being less than polite to someone of his stature, you didn't regret your words. They were spoken with genuine conviction.

"Thank you, San. If that's all..." Seonghwa's voice trailed off as he caught sight of the troubled expression on the royal secretary's face. "Oh god, what is it?"

Shaking his head, the younger man replied, "It's nothing serious. I just had a really odd encounter earlier today, and I'm wondering if I did something wrong..."

"Really? You? Doing something wrong? That doesn't sound like Choi San to me. You can do no wrong," the general teased, finally managing to coax a smile out of the royal secretary.

San chuckled. "Well, you know how easily I usually connect with girls and women."

Seonghwa raised an amused brow. "Ah, girl problems? It must be the season of love. Yunho's confiding in my wife about his own love troubles as we speak."

The secretary's eyes widened, and he waved his hands to dismiss the suggestion. "What? L-love? It has nothing to do with that."

"Yeah, that's what they all say..." the general grinned knowingly.

"No, seriously. Have you heard of the famous Scholar Moon?" San asked, to which the older man nodded. "If you're referring to the first female scholar in Joseon, then yes. So, she's the protagonist of your love story, huh?"

Secretary Choi rolled his eyes. "I swear, sometimes I miss when you're all cold and brooding. Anyway, I met her for the first time earlier, just before coming here. I saw her emerging from the royal library, arms filled with books, and out of kindness, I offered to help. But instead of thanking me, she... snatched the books back and launched into a whole monologue about not being a damsel in distress and not needing my help. She seemed... quite angry with me."

The general pondered for a moment, "Hmm, interesting..." San anxiously waited to hear Seonghwa's thoughts on the situation, nervously biting his lip.

Finally, the older man spoke up, "Well, she is the first female scholar after all. Perhaps she's different from most women you know. And besides, if she didn't request your help and you intervened, it might come off as presumptuous. Or maybe she's just having a bad day, and you happened to be there. Or... well, I'm probably the last person you should be consulting on this. You're the expert when it comes to women, so if you can't understand her, how can I...?"

Observing the continued concern on the secretary's face, the general added, "You care too much, San. Remember, no matter how well you think you understand women, not everyone is the same. Don't be surprised if you can't get along with every woman on earth. If, as you said, it's not about love, then let it go. Why should one Scholar Moon upset the great Royal Secretary Choi?"

San took a moment to absorb General Park's words before nodding slowly. "You're right. Maybe I just have to accept it," he conceded. "I guess I'm so affected because this has never happened before."

Pushing himself up from his seat across from Seonghwa, the secretary bowed respectfully. "I've taken more of your time than I planned. I should probably get going." The older man nodded, rising to see his friend off.

As San reached the exit of the general's study, he paused. "Oh, wait, one last thing... I spoke with the fourth prince earlier," he mentioned, sensing a slight shift in Seonghwa's demeanour. "He mentioned not seeing you around the palace and was concerned about Lady Park. I... told him about her pregnancy. I hope you don't mind. He seemed relieved to hear she's doing well."

Seonghwa's expression softened. "Thank you, San. That's good to know. I appreciate it. He's... her friend, I'm sure she'd want His Highness to know." Giving San a pat on the shoulder, he said, "Off you go then. Have a safe trip back. I'll see you next week."

As the secretary made his way back to his family estate, he opted to forgo the carriage ride for the day, choosing instead to take a leisurely walk. He figured it would help clear his mind of the unnecessary thoughts that had been bothering him. Perhaps it was the people pleaser in him, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that the earlier incident had affected him more than he cared to admit. Even though he knew he hadn't done anything wrong, he couldn't help but replay the encounter in his mind, wondering what he could have done differently to elicit a more favourable reaction from you.

However, he reminded himself of General Park's words – not everyone was meant to get along, and that was okay. With that in mind, he tried to focus on the scenery around him, letting the gentle breeze and chirping birds distract him from his thoughts.

Just as he was about to walk past a school, he heard the unmistakable sound of a child crying. Curious, he turned toward the source of the sound and saw a young boy sobbing alone by the entrance of the school.

San looked around to see if anyone was responsible for the boy's distress or if the source of his tears could be identified, but there was no one nearby. Passersby continued on with their day, seemingly oblivious to the child's plight. Unable to ignore the situation, San slowly approached him before kneeling down beside him.

"Hi there, kid. Are you okay? What happened?" he asked gently.

The child sniffled, wiping his tears. "My sister told me not to talk to strangers. If you think I'll follow you, then forget it. I'm not like those other dumb kids," he replied with a pout.

Taken aback by the boy's response, the royal secretary blinked rapidly before reassuring him, "I... no, I'm not a bad person."

The boy snorted sceptically. "Yeah, that's what they all say. If you try anything, I'll scream for my teacher."

Huh, that attitude feels oddly familiar.

Raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, San shook his head. "I promise, I just wanted to check up on you and find out why you're crying. If you don't want me to bother you, I'll leave right now."

Just as he was about to walk away, the boy sighed and tugged on his sleeve. "W-wait... fine, just listen to me then," he relented.

San chuckled softly. "Go on, tell me what or who made you cry. Even if I might not be able to help you, you'll feel better after talking about it."

The child nodded, fiddling with his fingers nervously. "It's my first day of school and... it's stupid. My sister already warned me that it might happen, but still..." Fat tears rolled down his little cheeks as San wiped them away gently. "It's okay, you can tell me," he encouraged.

The boy continued, his voice trembling with emotion. "They bullied me because I don't have a father. He died not long after I was born, so it's just me, my mother, and my sister. But I don't get it! Why should I get bullied for something I can't control?"

Just as San lifted his hand to comfort the child, he was startled by the unexpected appearance of the last person he anticipated seeing so soon. "Hey! Don't you dare lay a hand on him!" you shouted, hurrying over.

Your protective instincts kicked in as you arrived to collect Siwoo from school, only to find him in tears with this unfamiliar man poised to touch him. At the sound of your voice, the royal secretary swiftly turned his head, and your eyes widened in shock at the sight before you. Just when you hoped never to encounter him again, fate had other plans. The world had never been kind to you, so perhaps you shouldn't have been surprised.

Are you freaking kidding me?

"S-scholar Moon! I swear, I was just trying to help..." San's words stumbled out, but you took a deep breath to steady yourself before responding, "It's fine, we're fine. I'm not even going to ask what you're doing here. I just... I apologise for my earlier behaviour in the palace if I offended you in any way. Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi, for your kindness, but we really don't need your help."

Your brother protested, "But, noona—"

You shot him a stern look. "We'll discuss this at home, Moon Siwoo."

As San stood there, his mind racing, the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. Not only were you the first female scholar, to achieve such a feat without the backing of a powerful father, but you also carried the burden of supporting your family on your shoulders. Could it be that your disdain for help stemmed from a distaste for pity? He couldn't fathom how difficult things must have been for a young lady like yourself.

It occurred to him that your independence might have forged a toughness within you, causing you to recoil at the mere thought of accepting assistance. But these were mere speculations. He knew his mind would not find peace until he uncovered the truth.

As you turned to leave with your brother, the royal secretary's voice halted your steps. "Wait, Scholar Moon! I swear, I came across your brother by chance; I didn't realise he was related to you. And I... I, too, apologise if I've offended you in any way. There must be a reason for your reaction, and if there's anything I could have handled better, please let me know. I understand that being a female scholar must not be easy."

You briefly closed your eyes, acknowledging his smooth words. Had it been someone else, they might have melted. But maintaining your resolve, you turned back to face him. "I appreciate the apology, Royal Secretary Choi. But please, don't overthink it. My reaction wasn't aimed solely at you; it would have been the same with any man. Now, if you'll excuse us, we must be on our way."

Wait, what does that mean?

« Preview of Part 2 »

"Sometimes I wonder what His Majesty sees in you. You can be so dense, it's astonishing," Haneul remarked, shaking her head in playful disbelief as she nudged San's head.

He whined, swatting her hand away. "What are you even doing here, noona? Is your husband okay with you always running away from home like this, huh?"

She smacked him lightly. "Is that any way to talk to your older sister? Besides, this is my home too. What's wrong with visiting once in a while? And let's not change the subject! She's already dealing with a tough life, and now she has to contend with self-absorbed men like you. It's clear she doesn't trust men. She grew up without a father, and even when he was around, who knows what he was like? And being a female scholar, imagine the prejudice she faces. Do you honestly think she's had positive experiences with men?"

"What? I'm not self-absorbed!" he protested, shooting her a glare.

Haneul nodded sarcastically. "Oh yeah, not at all. All you've been busy thinking about is what you did, what you could have done because everything revolves around you and your magical ability to charm all the women on this land. Finally, you meet someone immune to it, and of course, it couldn't possibly be because you're just a man, but rather, it has to be about you."

"W-well, if you put it that way..."

She rolled her eyes. "Just admit that I'm right and move on, you fool. Now that you know it's not about your actions; it's just her general distrust in men, you can sleep in peace tonight knowing you did nothing wrong. It's not you, it's her."

But the royal secretary found himself unable to sleep well that night. Understanding that it was men you hated only ignited a newfound determination in him.

I'll show her that not all men are the same.

Y'all, I'm sorry this took so long! I'm afraid updates will be slow after this because guess who is starting her full-time job tomorrow :) back to that Mon-Fri 8-5 corporate life, so I won't be able to write as frequently anymore💔 but I'll do my best to write whenever I can!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

"Why Would You Bother With Me?" - An Analysis of Kitsunami, 09/07/2024

tw: major discussions of abuse, the cycle of abuse, re-traumatizing situations, toxic and abusive relationships (non-romantic)

so like when I first read this panel my reaction was just to joke with Cori that this is a "get out of my school" moment (iykyk) but I've been thinking about it a lot recently because I... couldn't remember any specific beef Kit had with Tails?

Last we saw of them interacting one-on-one, Tails was talking Kit down from fighting, and Kit's beef with the squad later was more with Sonic than him. Tails didn't take down Surge in #56 or even affect the fight in any way, and Sonic was the one who told Kit that Surge was dead beforehand. At least that I could remember, so I went back to those comics. Indeed, in #56 he shows no animosity towards Tails specifically, nor when he talks to Surge in #55.

Then I went back to #54.

See, he does seem to blame Sonic entirely for the Surge death fakeout, and he thinks that Sonic is literally trying to kill her when he walks in. But he does have one (1) reaction to Tails, right at the end of the interaction.

In the previous issue, after Sonic and Tails saved his life, Kit immediately switched on his subservient personality and was desperate for any kind of validation from the hedgehog. We only see it for a few panels before he is told about Surge and sinks into a depressive state, but it's made very obvious.

And when he leaves to help?

Kit's conditioning under Starline means that he is excessively codependent on Surge– and if Surge isn't around, on anyone who is nice to him. The hypnotic repetition shown to us was "You live to support Surge. You'll do anything for her." Kit's sole purpose in life is to be a Support party member.

Kit's conditioning was to be the new Tails.

Starline wanted Surge and Kit to replace Sonic and Tails– that much was obvious from the get-go. But what was also obvious was his fundamental misunderstanding of Sonic and Tails's dynamic and how that negatively impacts Surge and Kit's relationship.

Starline completely misses the strong sibling bond that Sonic and Tails have. To him, Tails is just there to support Sonic, to provide the brains and tech that Sonic lacks, and so Kit needs to be there to support Surge in the same way. He sees it only as a business partnership, and not a mutual relationship built on trust, love, and shared experiences. Starline only saw other people as tools, so obviously he projected that onto Surge and Kit, hoping that they would immediately take up the closeness that Sonic and Tails did because, well, they served the same purpose to each other, right?

Except Surge and Kit don't have that relationship. These two children were forced into the same proximity and made to work together. They're coworkers at best, being told to act like a family.

Obviously their dynamic is super toxic, with Surge clearly holding a lot of power over Kit, but it's also clear that this isn't because Surge wants to beat on the kid. She was made to be Sonic, and so she has his arrogance (and possibly Shadow's, considering IS1 showed his image when Starline was talking about stealing abilities), but, as Boom!Sonic says, "Without any of the awesomeness to back it up." Okay, wrong, she's plenty awesome, the correct phrase is "Without the experience" and, most importantly, "without the altruism that makes Sonic Sonic." Surge wasn't programmed to like the people she saves, because that would conflict with Starline's goal to take over the world. So she's only made to be competitive and to want to best Sonic, anyone inbetween them be damned. This clashes with Kit's programming to not only be liked, but to be liked by Surge. Surge was also programmed to believe fully in herself in order to enhance the arrogant trait, and Kit was made to give her the help that she doesn't want.

To Surge, Kit represents everything holding her back. And she's not built to view him as a person, because Starline doesn't view him or her as people. Obviously this doesn't absolve her of her treatment of him, and later issues showing her getting more and more aware as she becomes more social is definitely going to impact the way she views him– or, if it doesn't make her reconsider Kit's personhood, it'll serve to make her more antagonistic for the viewer.

But the point is, Sonic trusts Tails because he knows and respects him as a person. It isn't just because Tails can help him, but because he knows Tails will. Surge, at this point in the comic, not only doesn't view Kit as a friend, she doesn't even care what he thinks or feels.

And despite the brainwashing, I don't think Kit is oblivious to this. He knows how bad their situation is, but he is so conditioned to accept it that he can't escape it whatsoever. In both fights with Tails, Tails talks him down easily because Kit doesn't want to hurt anyone. Kit only reacts violently when Surge is brought up, because he's meant to do anything she wants.

Like he said to Belle, he was made for Surge. And what he says directly after– "Sonic can use me, too." Kit doesn't even view himself as a person, only a tool– that's how far Starline's brainwashing went. It's clearly even affecting Surge, who realized in the latest issue, #72, how fast she and Kit fell into their abusive patterns again once Clutch took over– they were conditioned to be tools. Clutch claimed to want to help them, but really he was just using them for his own ends, just like Starline. So they went back to the familiar.

And speaking of familiar– pain is familiar to Kit, specifically pain in service to others. In his breakdown in #50, he says that Starline made him happy he'd been hurt. And in Imposter Syndrome #3 and #4, we see that him and Surge hate Starline and want to usurp him... but also are still trapped in the patterns he implanted in them. Surge still wants to kill Sonic and outperform everyone else. Kit still can't do anything but what she wants, to the point he becomes near catatonic when he believes she's dead.

Another pattern Kit is still trapped in is the idea that he has to be okay with his own suffering.

The only sense of home or family Surge and Kit have is in each other, but they fundamentally can't work together, at least as they are currently. Kit is expected to take Surge's anger, and Surge isn't expected to treat him like his own person.

And this, I think, is Kit's problem with Tails.

He was made to be Tails, and he knows this, but he can never have what Tails has. He can never live up to Tails and do what Tails can do, despite that being his entire life's purpose.

He doesn't hate Tails because he was programmed to– as he says to Surge, he only wants to destroy Sonic because she wants to. When he first encounters Tails, he refers to him as his target- a simple, unemotional term. He doesn't have the deep ingrained hatred for him that Surge does for Sonic.

Instead, he hates Tails because of what he sees in him. He sees Sonic and Tails interact, he sees how much Sonic trusts and relies on Tails, and he sees how he also loves and respects him. He sees how Tails has his own motivations and opinions, and he's experienced Tails's genuine compassion that was in part fostered by the hedgehog that raised him. In turn, Tails is loyal to Sonic, but not because he has to be– because he, in turn, loves Sonic and wants to be with him.

Kit only wants to be with Surge because he was forced to. Starline wanted to use Surge and Kit to stop Sonic and Eggman's cycle, but he made a whole new one instead. Kit is trapped in a cycle of pain, knows he's trapped in it, and is helpless to escape it.

Tails isn't, and Kit sees that in Tails. Subconsciously, he sees Tails and only sees how he fails to live up to his life's mission, and how he'll never have what Tails has.

After all, why would anyone bother with him? They already have Tails.

Is he a target? I like it here now.

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Spoiled Brat

Remus Lupin x Fem!Gaunt!Reader

August Taylor Swift

Masterlist

Summary: When your escapism over the summer turns a bit more real, as you fall in love with a half blood your father would never approve of}

Wc- 3642

Cw: Use of {Y/N}, sexual themes and scenes, cussing, }

A/N- This was an idea I have been toying with for a while, this may become a mini-series if you'd like

Taglist- @otterlockholmes

If it was one thing your parents stuck into your head when you were younger, it was that you, {Y/N} Gaunt, were better than any other witch in your presence. 

‘The Lost Gaunt’ is what they referred to you as. You, and of course, your parents fed into this idea. People were sure they had died out, either from your family's admittedly embarrassing financial status, or from a few choice family members disgracing your blood line with Muggle blood.

It wasn't a secret, your family's blood soaked history and ideals on muggles of any variety. Your father spoke especially lowly of half bloods, saying they were some of the most loathsome and desperate of them all, with parents who tainted their good family names by giving it to scum. 

Very opinionated, that man.

You were much the same when you were younger. Snappy and spoiled, demanded everything and no one ever fought you on it. Even with your family's position with lack of wealth, when your parents came out of hiding as Voldemort started his horrid flock, your father didn't hesitate to join. There was no lack of support from expected places. Every pureblood with half sense wanted to be in the good graces of the heir of Slytherin, even if she didn't attend the school. Little you was treated like an absolute princess. Even receiving a letter from Durmstrang personally, your father opting for the obvious choice, burning your Hogwarts letter before you even read it. 

It made you an absolute terror when you got to the foreign school. Suddenly, you weren't as special as you were in London. Your name still carried a lot of marit, but so did several other students. You learned to keep your mouth shut, to keep your cards to your chest, and eventually, you unlearned everything your parents taught you. You met half bloods there, stronger than you had ever known witches and wizards to be, making close friends with several other open minded purebloods and friendly half bloods. 

Of course, you still had a family name to uphold. You studied and worked your hardest, eventually making it high enough on a social latter that Gaunt no longer mattered, but {Y/N} did. 

You started your rebellious streak in year 4, when your father asked you if you wanted to return home for the summer. It was the first time he gave you the choice, you refused. Instead, you traveled to Muggle London without his knowing. You went with a few friends, half bloods, they wanted to show you where they grew up. Your father would have your head for this. You thought in amusement as you danced through the market and gawked at all the muggle contraptions. You were sure to them you looked absolutely delirious, but you couldn't care less in the moment.

You wandered down the streets with a few girls who had broken off from the group. When you noticed a record store, your friends waved you off, refusing to join when they knew you'd be in there for hours. A boy who fancied you gifted you a small record player, and since then, you had been collecting muggle records at any opportunity. Thank Merlin your father didn't keep track of your spending.

You walked in with your head held high, you already gave off the impression of someone too good to be there, a force of habit. You walked down the aisle and searched the albums, dismissing people who tried to educate you on what was best, mostly men trying to impress you, you figured. Nothing more charming than being spoken down to. Eventually, you made it to some of the older ones, clearly used and used and used again. A soft yellow album caught your eye from the top shelf. Etta Jones? You thought for a moment. You had never seen it before, but the woman on the cover looked beautiful. 

You got on your toes and began to balance on a shelf, struggling to reach the damned record. You have a huff, ready to give in, before you hear a chuckle behind you. Whipping your head around you nearly spun around completely. Then, you saw him. A boy, he looked to be your age, tanned skin with soft pink scars littering his form, with one large one across his face. He had shaggy sandy blonde hair, almost brown, and the cockiest smirk on his face.

You huffed at him and put your hands on your hips, tilting your head at him. “Not very polite, you know. Watching a lady struggle without even an offer of help.” 

His smirk slowly turned to a dazzling smile. “You want my help? You've been blowing past people who've offered you help this whole time.” He remarked and you scoffed.

“Don't be coy. They weren't exactly being truly helpful. Also, no one here is as,” You gestured to him with both hands. “Vertically gifted as you.” 

He laughed at this and you got another flash of his pearly whites. “That so?”

“I only speak the truth.”

“That I see.”

“So will you?”

“Will I what?”

You scoffed with a scandalized look, gesturing to the album. “Help a damsel in distress?” 

He gave a playful hum and put his hands in his jean pockets, leaning forward a bit in his brown jumper that laid over a mustard yellow button up. “I'm not really the princely type, princess.” He teased and you slowly smirked. “I'm more in line with the monster.” 

“Well, kind monster, would you do your princess the kindness of grabbing her this single?” You hummed and he laughed. “My princess?”

“If you behave.” 

He looked you up and down before he walked over and grabbed the record, looking it over and holding it just out of reach as you tried to snatch it away. “What if I don't?”

You huffed and gave up on trying to swipe it, crossing your arms and biting your cheek. “That's not a very gentlemanly thing to do.”

“I'm not a very gentlemanly person.” He gave you a look that had the alarm bells in your head sounding, but you bit your lip and nodded. “Fine then. What would you like in return, hm?”

“Your name.”

“My name?” You huffed and smiled once more. He nodded with a serious look, but a smile tugged at his lips.

“{Y/N}.” You introduced and held your hand out. “You don't need my last name. You'll never have to call me it.” You remarked and his eyebrows raised in delight. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You mused as he handed you the record. 

“And your name?”

“Remus. Guess I'll skip the last name too. But please, call me Moony.” He remarked and you nodded. 

“Until next time, Moony.”

“Next time, {Y/N}.”

The summer was absolute bliss. You spent it doing all the things your father hated about muggles. Running in fields and jumping in stray bodies of water, going to parties and drinking until you were sick. You kissed muggle boys, went to underground concerts, and even took enchanted pictures for yourself to keep.

Though, you didn't see that record store boy for the rest of the summer. Not from lack of trying, however, going to the store twice a week to try and snag a glimpse of him. Eventually you gave up and went back to your friends.

The next summer, you did see him again. This time, it was a month in, you were out late at a party, and were waiting for the bus to take you to the flat you had bought under a fake muggle name. Well, you say you bought, in reality you had been taking portions of money from your father and pureblood families that wanted your favor, from the start of the school year, saving up enough to be the spoiled girl you were. 

You were standing under a street lamp, leaning against it as you pulled out a packet of cigarettes. You put it to your lips, just as you did, a voice called over to you. “Need a light?”

You turned to face the boy who seemed to sneak up on you in alarm, before you slowly lit up at the sight of him. He seemed puzzled by your expression before recognition covered his features. “Record store princess.”

“Record store monster.” You cheeked and he walked over, leaning down to cover the end of your smoke from the wind, lighting it with a simple flick. You didn't even think about how you didn't hear the usual metallic click of a lighter, instead, a snap. That was how you lit them anyway. 

“Where have you been, pretty boy?” You asked after a long drag, and he watched you breathe the smoke out of your lungs, eyes lingering on your lips. This made you curl them to give him a better view. “Around.”

“Something caught your eye?”

“Someone.” He muttered and you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, glancing at the bus station. “I'm heading home, to my flat. Care to make sure your princess gets home safe?” 

He chuckled at the bold offer, rubbing the back of his neck and wetting his lips. There was a pause as he thought about it. “... lead the way.”

That summer was somehow even better than the previous. He spent the night with you, that night, then every single other night. He came and never dreamed of leaving, only gone a handful of days for a few hours at a time for his summer job.

There was this amazing peace, waking up, laying in your stomach, hugging your pillows in your plush massive mess of blankets and pillows, with him. Most of the boys you brought back would be gone in the morning, you preferred it that way, but when you woke up to his arm around your bare back and his nose in the nape of your bruised and bite ridden neck, you couldn't dream of another outcome.

He joked, the second he saw the large canopy bed, about you letting monsters into your private quarters. He seemed to not think so highly of himself, but with every part of your skin he discovered, with every touch and sound he drew from you, he seemed to grow more confident in your situationship. It was dangerous, you knew it, this muggle boy had you wrapped around his finger. Judging by the way he looked at you when you would fall into the clouds of euphoria, he met the same fate.

You had never felt so content, going out and partying, coming home before he did, and spending your nights and afternoons together. With the odd exceptions of a few days out of the months, he was glued to you. Your friends teased you, but for once, you couldn't find it in yourself to be embarrassed. When school came, you had never felt so crushed. You spent the day before lingering in each other's presence without a word. The silence was enough. 

When he brought you to bed, and your skin was pressed to his, his nose to your temple as he whispered sweet words of encouragement and pure infatuation, you were wreathing and gasping in short spouts, you muttered something that drew his rough movements to a stop. You hadn't even realized it, and he noticed how your eyes squished together and you whined with a huff. Fluttering open your eyes, staring up at his knee weakening hazels. He stared at you in silence and you slowly moved to sit up. It clicked to him, you hadn't even realized what you said. You'd never know that those three little words utterly destroyed him. Knowing that tomorrow he would be away from you again. He knew it would be hell.

He huffed and slowly pulled back. He began slowly, taking you in as if he was trying to commit you to memory. Every curve and blemish, every bit of scarred flesh he devoured with an open mouth kiss. You were lost once more to your own ecstasy. 

He wanted to say it back so horribly. 

He wanted you to know he loved you too.

~~~

You spent all of your sixth year waiting for summer, but when it came you dreaded it. Your father told you that you were to move back to London and resume your normal life in preparation for finding you a suitor.

He had promised your mother that he would wait until you were at least 20 to start, but her passing this year it seems he changed his mind. So you returned to business as usual, being enrolled in Hogwarts for your last year of schooling, and being undertaken by the Black’s matriarch, Walaburga, to learn how to be a pureblood witch worth marrying.

Every day she would come to the Gaunt manor, quiz and train you on behaviors and etiquette. You hated those meetings, she was needlessly cruel and fake nice, to the point it was painful for you to watch her try and flatter and build your fathers ego. It made you sick. Soon, but not soon enough, the summer was over and at least you would be at Hogwarts and away from that sour faced woman.

~~

Remus had gone to your flat that summer, he stayed there for a week before he realized you weren't coming home. He hated it. He hated how you didn't tell him where you were, where you were going. There was this silent agreement between the both of you, You never told him where you would be and he never asked, Never exchanged much about your current personal lives, just the past. So if someone was to ask him where you were, he wouldn't have a clue.  You promised him you'd see each other next summer, and that was enough. 

At first his bitterness was winning, he wanted to believe you left without a word because you wanted nothing more than what you were that summer. Deep down, however, he knew. He knew by the way you looked at him in the morning, how you would pull him into the middle of the room in your socks and his shirt, like it was a dress on you, twirling around and slow dancing to that record he got you the first time you met. You always got what you wanted, and Remus knew he was what you wanted. When he left, he set a paper folded up between the door and the wall, a simple but desperate note. He needed you.

So when he got back to Hogwarts, he was a wreck. His friends noticed immediately. When he sat on the train, and looked out the window instead of shoving his nose in a book or teasing the others together.

“Moony, you good man?” James spoke up first after the three shared awkward looks. 

“Yeah dude, you look like a kicked puppy. Or James when Lily isn't looking at him.” Sirius tried to joke, looking through his suitcase before he paused and his eyes widened.

Remus was suddenly filled with dread. “Don't-”

“Let me guess, the cool girl you met last summer didn't show up this time? Told you, muggle girls her age are crazy.” Sirius laughed, not looking up, only to get jabbed harshly in his side with James’ elbow. Sirius hissed and held his side, looking at James with a glare before James flicked his eyes to Remus.

Sirius looked over and saw just how broken up Remus seemed to be about it. He sighed and gave him a pained sympathetic look. Watching as Peter took out a chocolate bar and handed it over to Remus. He muttered a thank you and took it. Sirius sighed and shook his head. “Look, I'm sorry dude. I don't mean it.”

“It's fine.” Remus answered quickly. “I was surprised she even gave me the time of day. I guess I always have that summer. I'll be over it in time, I'm sure she isn't missing me as much, as I'm moping over her, maybe that will help me get over it.”

He tried to believe that. He really did. His words were coming out low, he tried to sound wise but he truly sounded pathetic. He felt pathetic. She was all he could think about. From the train, to the carriages, to the Great Hall. Lily saw him and gave him a pout, he had written to her over the summer about what had happened. He wanted her perspective about what had happened, where he could have gone wrong, and out of the thirty he sent her she responded in kind to all of them. She walked up to him, straight past James which left the tall boy to theatrics. 

“Sirius did she just-” James gasped and clenched his chest.

“She did, James, she did.” Sirius walked up behind him with a smirk.

“Does she love me anymore?” He turned to Sirius and the shorter boy snickered.

“I don't think so, Jamie. I'll always love you, though.” Sirius indulged his theatrics and caught James (totally not with a struggle, totally smooth, Sirius is very strong) and James gasped. “You will, won't you, pads?”

“Always, my love.” Sirius declared his affections and James fanned his face like a swooning Victorian debutante. Lily rolled her eyes so hard she swore they would fall from her face. 

She turned back to Remus who gave her a painful smile. “I left her a note like you suggested.”

“Anything?”

“Nothing.” Remus sighed and she nodded carefully. 

“I'm sure there is more to it, Remus. Don't let it consume you.” Lily tried to reassure him and he sighed again, making James and Sirius catch up as they sat down. 

“Yeah, there are a million girls in the world!” Sirius tried to cheer him up and both Lily and James winced at that.

“None of them are like her.” Remus sighed and Sirius gave an owl-like look and then gave a breath of shock. “... Damn Remus, that much, huh?”

He groaned and hit his head on the table. “I just want to sleep.”

“We could always ditch the sorting ceremony.” Lily tried to nudge him, he seemed to smile at her a bit at the offer. 

“Yeah, but then you'll miss a seventh year being sorted.” Peter piped up and the four of them snapped over to look at him. 

“What? Seventh?” She asked as she looked up at the kids in front of the hall, before she bit her tongue. “Right.. that Gaunt girl every Slytherin is losing their mind over?” 

Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice before he quickly cleared his throat as James patted his back. “Woah mate!”

“Her! My mom was tutoring her all summer. Regulus told me. That girl, trying to be the perfect bride or some shit? Just another spoiled pureblood.” Sirius huffed and Lily gave a faint nod. “I hate to agree, but apparently she's the worst.”

“Of course, she's the Slytherin heir.” Sirius huffed. “Apparently she went to Dumstrung, and you know how awful they are.”

“Ah.” Lily mumbled and her eyes landed on you past the crowd, nudging Remus. “There she is. Oh Merlin, spoiled and pretty? Dangerous combination.”

Remus sighed and looked over as you sat on the chair. His entire body froze. “Ahh! {Y/N} Gaunt! Slytherin!” 

The hat didn't hesitate. You had a calm blank expression you were tutored on all summer. Looking across the students, almost bored. You stood up and dusted off your robes, before you froze up at the sound of your name being shouted across the hall.

Remus didn't think. He saw you and shot up from his seat. Lily looked at him, startled, looking between the two before her eyes widened at the name. Oh Merlin. 

Sirius was bewildered, James was stunned, and Peter hid his face away from the crowds of students who turned to look at Remus. He got a variety of different looks from everyone, but there was a running theme. Who do you think you are? Talking to Gaunt.

“{Y/N}.” He called again, firmer. You looked like a deer in headlights. Staring at him in a stunned silence before one of the girls you met on the train tugged at your sleeve. You glanced at her and by the time you looked back, Remus was rushing across the hall to you. No no no no no.

“Fuck.” You hissed and snatched your sleeve from her. You watched as he closed in on you. You felt every hair on your neck stand up. “Fuck fuck.” You whispered.

You panicked. And you ran. He was stunned and froze on the spot. You ran straight out of the hall. Remus cursed and turned to his friends, then to the professors. Lily tried to stand and bring him back to sit down, but as if he was a wild animal, the movement gave him a rush of adrenaline. What did he do? What did this absolute stupid and love sick fool do? 

He ran after you. The entire hall was silent, even the professors stunned before his head of house yelled at him to sit down. He ignored them, turning the corner out of the hall and dashing down the hall he saw you run down.

The hall was quiet for a moment or two, before Lily spoke up. “I'll make it up to you, Professors!” She shouted back before she ran after the two. 

“Me too!” James shouted and followed after her. 

“I will not!” Sirius laughed and ran after them, Peter looking at the shouting professor before she made eye contact with him. Peter slowly sat up and she gave him a warning glance, before he quickly scrambled after his friends. 

McGonagall could only sigh as Dumbledore stifled a laugh into his sleeve.

[arabellaawrites]

infrunami | cl16

[ drabble ]

by which, she loved him too early, he loved her too late

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

warnings: none

a/n: hello everyone! this is my first fic ever and I'm so happy with how this turned out! I hope it was an enjoyable experience and I hope there wasn't any element that was unpleasant or unenjoyable for yall! I'm aware that it lacks dialogue and everything is past paced and doesn't have much room for detail! I swear I'm working on that and once I've perfected that art, I hope my writing will be more enchanted etc! alright enough yapping. enjoy the fic!

back then, you and arthur hated watching charles kart. the idea that you both needed to sit under the scorching monegasque sun for afew hours was never exciting but at least you get to watch arthur’s older brother, charles, kart. you’ve always fancied charles ever since arthur introduced you to him at the playground.

he was 3 years older then you and was the exact opposite of arthur, he was matured, well mannered and wasn't childish like you both were. that's what you love so much about him.

until he started going around europe to join racing series, when Arthur broke the news to you, you acted like it wasn't a big deal. you'll still get to see him on the television or during family holidays, right?. but that also means you'll be seeing him once a week or every few months, eventually a week turned into a month, a month turned into a year until suddenly you wont be seeing him at all which broke heart.

soon it was arthur who left you to follow in charles footsteps, racing across europe, joining f4 and achieving great things. unlike Charles, Arthur still kept in contact with you, constantly inviting you to his races and you both still enjoyed each others company, f4 soon turned into f3 and nothing has changed you still admired Charles from afar and Arthur would constantly ask "do you still have a crush on Charles?" or the occasional "y/n you have to let go" but you never did, Charles was your first love and you wanted him and only him.

every night you sleep in bed, tossing and turning, with arthurs voice continuously replaying in your head, but he was right you do have to let go.

when Charles first debuted for formula 1 for haas was when he first reached out to you in years with no contact. inviting you to join the paddock, to see him race in the pinnacle of motorsport, you were above and beyond the moon. strutting down the paddock next to Pascale and Arthur towards the hospitaly while also trying not to pay focus on the ever lasting sounds of camera shutters and kept your composure.

it has been years since then now Charles was in his 6 years in formula 1 and you have never been prouder, seeing him through his ups and down, supporting him through out all the hardships that this sport had caused him.

you often found yourself in and out of college trying to balance study with the constant travel to different races to support your best boys, Arthur and Charles. which alway lead you to end up in his, Charles, driver room before a race reassuring that he'll be fine and his team wont let him down again.

"your the best, y/n" he smiles before suiting up, making you stunned in place with a subtle blush spread across your face as you took his compliment.

barcelona 2023, and you just arrived at the Ferrari hospitality per usual, greeting the staff and Ferrari mechanics as your make your way inside until you bumped into someone making you tumble back as the mysterious man reaches for your waist, holding you steady, you smiled at him and apologized which made him smile back and that's where thing took off.

ever since that day you took has been seeing each other non stop and with that it ruined you and Charles relationship, plans were often cancelled, phone calls were usually ignored and text messages were left unopened. this took a toll on Charles, he's new profound feelings for you was too strong and by the time he realized that he has fallen, it was too late.

"mate please!"

Charles begged to Arthur over the phone, trying to figure out what his feelings were and was trying to piece in the clues in himself. he was frustrated, angry and confused he loved you but it was too late.

while you were living your best life, you had a partner in bed, your home always had that comfortable warm presence of your new boyfriend everything felt perfect, he was everything you ever wanted.

he was also everything Charles ever wanted to be, your man.

until one rainy Tuesday afternoon where everything went downhill, you just came home from them store and was welcome home by the repetitive sound of feminine moans that rang threw out the house. your groceries dropped to the floor followed by the sound of glass in your bag smashing which made the moans stop and your boyfriend ran out to where you were standing. "please I can explain this-" he frantically said while holding on to you as you tried to push him away, "I-ive heard enough! just leave and get your stuff while your at it!" tears swell your eyes as you tried to swallow the horrid sensation in your throat and pushed him away before running back into the rain and in your car. you broke down in heavy tears, your heart ache with hurt and sorrow as you try to make way to Charles place.

"y/n- who did this to you..?"

Charles said as he watches you stand in the rain, mascara running down your face and your clothes all soaking wet, without hesitation he pulled you inside and wrapped a towel around you,

" he cheated on me! how could he-"

you sobs onto him, "he was my-" hiccups "he was my everything and he just!"

you weeped into his chest as he held you tight and tried to calm you down. eventually you stopped crying and lifted your head from his chest

"cha.." you called out to him as he stroked your head and then looking down on you.

"know that I've-" you were cut off "yes I've known...I was an idiot, y/n...I realized too late. I really did love you...I was.." he sighed and looked down at her, "give me another chance, y/n.."

[pinklaetherlagoon]

Hey Rich Boy

pairings: Aegon II Targaryen x reader

tw: mistress!reader, oral (m receiving), reader had beef with Alicent, Aegon doesn't care for anything or anyone but himself, chubby!Aegon

note: english is not my native language

Aegon was a lazy slob. A glutton of the worst kind, but when he was sated he became as tame as a baby. His mother, the doweger queen, didn't like that. To be complaint Aegon had to have his fill of whores and wine and sweet pastries.

But his mother wasn't his wife...and his wife was glad the king let her do as she pleased.

You had been called upon to become one of the queen's ladies-in-waiting. Following that wanderous opportunity, your family had instructed you on what to do and act like, once you reached court. Not one of the most influencial houses. Yours was one of those houses that made their offspring help at home and closed an eye or two when their daughters swore like sailors and met in the barn with stable boys.

An enterprising young woman that lacked the immobile frigidity of the queen. It had been easy enough to catch the king's eye. Much more difficult was to keep him entertained for the longest time possible.

You ate with the king. Strolled around the gardens with him. Sat through his meeting with the smallfolk. Slept with him. But never lacked the distinctive conceit and insatiable sexual resourcefulness to become bothersome or boring like a wife would be.

A mistress had to be all about fun and less about duty. Clever and witty but never too emotional.

You were the mother of his bastards and the whore he sought at night but never the bride he would have loved to have.

You supported all his debucharies, having to indulge him as king. More than that, you shared his liking to some of those. Having to please the king and be pleasant was a full time job; as hard as any other too.

He was a sweet tooth. Always stuffing his mouth full of cakes when he had it not wrapped around your teat. Every supper was a banquet of it's own. Sometimes you entertained the possibility of a war fought in the absence of dragons and you could not picture his stout self mounting a horse. It was out of question, he wouldn't have been capable of keeping up and, frankly, you would have not had the heart of letting him go.

***

"My eyes were a little bigger than my stomach, my king" you whispered, shrugging off the food from your plate to his. Taking a grape and feeding it to him, whose mouth opened, welcoming the fruit. Tongue darting on you fingertip. Your eyes locked with those of the dowager queen, she was clearly enraged by such display. New ladies-in-waiting had been appointed for the queen. Fresh meat to become substitute of the other - conveniently - older ones you had begged the king to give his sister-wife. They all were pretty, sophisticated and ambitious; thanks to the queen mother intercession.

Alicent had never been particularly fond of your presence. She sought to whip her son into shape. You were a distraction and a danger for Aegon's malleable ego. Always backing him up and talking in his ear. He had done a great favour to you and your family, Alicent knew that. Bathing you in riches and gold, giving you bastards that could put her daughter offspring to jeopardy. Alicent's long face looked at you from the other end of the room and was met by your glowing brazenness.

Giggling and whispering nonsense in answer to Aegon's - undoubtedly - tasteless jokes. You averted your eyes from the hag and instead focused on Aegon's puffy fingers being licked clean.

She wanted to crush you, but your domain had just started and you needed only root it.

***

Aegon wasn't dumb...at least not completely and he was growing restless when you idlessly rubbed on him without ever initiating the act that night. Something was troubling you for it could not be just cheeky teasing.

"What can your king do for you?"

Long, sharp nails trailed along Aegon's pale skin leaving red stripes behind, same as the ones that his bountiful hips wore. Deep enough to make 'em show but not hard enough to hurt. His swollen belly allowed for your nails to sink in just perfectly.

"I want her exiled" you mumbled "...Out of court"

"Her? Who's her, now?" Aegon tilted his head, double chin fully showing as he looked down at your head sat on his stomach.

"The dowager queen and her whorish new ladies in waiting" you said matter-of-factly.

His eyes widened in surprised but he soon let out a strangled laugh, "You know I can't do that..but" his brows knitted together, "under what accuse should I do that?"

"She deem me a whore yet she's forming her how harem to throw at you...see if any of them sticks"

What was an amusing conversation turned too serious for Aegon and his growing arousal. He dropped the smile and leaned back anew.

"Can't this wait?"

You propped on your elbows. Typical Aegon, everything that didn't concern him getting stuffed into oblivion or everything that didn't get him to be the one to do the stuffing had to wait. "Depends, can this be solved in a short period of time, you pig?" You grabbed a handful of his lower portion, cock and balls wholly. "You ate, now you want to fuck and go to bed"

Pinching his sides in that way that always made him whine.

He hummed, "Better hurry up then. Don't you think?" His hips moved forward, arching his back a little to present you his cock by pulling his breeches down. "My mother is the last thing I want to talk about now, for whatever impending reason you might have"

For good measure you did exactly what was expected of you. "Of course, your majesty"

***

You continued to stroke his ruddy cock with one hand placing small, kitten licks at his red head. Giving special attention to the slit on top and letting your tongue trace down at his veiny sides. Your free hand squeezing his meaty thigh.

"Oh-ah...if you continue like this I..."

Spit drooling under your chin as you sucked him greedly into your mouth and he bucked his hips in a yelp. Hands flying to push your head down forgetting all about not wanting to cum yet.

Gagging before you took him out again and went back to tease his spongy head, "Ssh...i know"

"Fuck...it-it's too early..oh" the air-headed blonde couldn't even find the right words "'s too quick"

"Yeah?" You blinked feigning blissful ignorance. You were indeed speeding it up a little, but to be fair he had asked for it. He wanted to be satisfied and you wanted to speak, but he had won and was getting what he deserved. "But I thought you wanted it...so bad you didn't want to listen to me talk, actually"

You kissed and sucked at his base, eagerly. "Tell me you'll think about it" you persued. Slurping all the precum and tightening the grip on his base to slow his climax down a bit, take off some of the pleasure.

You smooth, silky lips attached to his most sensitive spot was driving him crazy. Legs arching up as his stomach bent upwards and bucked to fuck your hand.

"Mmh...yes, I'll- I'll think of it... just give me...uhmf" he huffed, too tired already from the strain of getting off his lazy ass after having too much too eat. Couldn't even fuck your hand right.

Plopping back down with a hard thud coming from the bed.

You grinned briefly before getting back to lap at his cock, hand opening and gripping anew. Trapping his base and pulling down the foreskin, methodically and steadly.

He whined, whimpering small 'ah's ' with prolonged A's before he squirted all over his plush stomach, coating it in thick, pearly white cum, "Oh, 'm coming! oh, please, fuck...I'll give you anything you want just, please".

Clumsily trying to slap your hand away from his sensitive cock as soon as he was done.

His chest eaving up and down. He swiped his forehead clean with the back of his hand. Eyes too heavy to stay open, you knew that it was going to take some more conviction.

[stedes-tarty-pink-robe]

Poor Stede. He was getting increasingly cocky as the episode went on, but it was only after Ed left him again that he got reckless about it. I get it. Stede was used to feeling less than everyone else, and being recognized as a real pirate finally made him feel worthy of love and admiration. Only, people were still leaving him left and right. Not just Ed, but the Swede and Buttons in the past and Olu, Jim and Archie now. That's bound to compound his preexisting insecurities. The crew aren't just his employees. They're his family, and all he can see is another family that's happier without him. That he's still not good enough. That others will never care about him with the same depth he does about them. So of course, he desperately leans into the dread pirate shtick to the point that he nearly dies by angry pirate queen. It's what Stede thinks his loved ones want of him. But that's not Stede's appeal. Killing Ned wasn't the amazing thing that saved his crew the previous episode. Stede being interested in and supportive of rival crew was. Stede's crew aren't leaving Stede because they find him lacking. He just helped inspire them to self-reflect and get the courage to pursue the things that make them happy even if it means going somewhere else or becoming something else. That still feels like abandonment to someone as lonely as Stede. Hopefully, the season finale will help bring Stede peace and security. He just needs to know he's wanted and appreciated. That he really is enough.

[deliciousangelfestival]

The Malicious Daughter Is Back! - 7

Character : Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: It's just a business marriage. Bucky thought it would be easy until he encountered the stepsister of his fiancée. She turned his world upside down.

The Malicious Daughter Is Back! Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist || Support : Ko-fi 🙏🏻

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

Victoria wanted to scratch your face with her long nails and pull your hair. She put down her wine glass and stormed toward you, her heels clicking angrily against the floor.

How dare you take her place?

Even as Bucky's official fiancée, she never had the chance to hold him like that. He always pushed her away.

But you… She hated the fact that you were able to stand beside Bucky like that.

Her eyes burned with fury as she approached, her hands clenched into fists.

What did you do to make Bucky look at you like... like he's in love with you? How he looks at you is so different from how he looks at her—as if she's not essential to him.

Victoria could feel the coldness from him but with you? She could sense the warmth in Bucky's gaze toward you, even from afar.

"Wasn't Bucky's fiancée Victoria?" one guest whispered.

"Shhh," another guest hushed her friend.

The judging eyes of the guests felt like needles pricking her skin. She didn’t have to look at them to feel their scrutiny.

Victoria's face contorted with barely suppressed rage with every step closer to you. Her hands shook, her nails biting into her palms as she struggled to maintain her composure.

"Don't do anything," her mom said, grabbing Victoria's hand.

Victoria whispered angrily, "Why?" What reason could her mom have for stopping her?

Genevieve didn’t say anything, just tilted her head slightly toward Jonathan. He was also watching Bucky and you, but his expression was calm, unlike the two women’s.

That means he knew. He knew you were coming.

Victoria stormed over to her dad despite Genevieve's attempt to stop her.

"Why is my fiancé walking with her?" she demanded in a harsh whisper.

Jonathan looked at his younger daughter, who was already panicking because things weren’t going her way. He sighed his expression a mix of frustration and patience.

“Victoria, calm down,” he said firmly. “There’s a reason for this, and it’s not what you think. Bucky has his reasons, and you need to trust the process.”

Victoria's eyes narrowed, her breath quickening. She glanced back at you and Bucky, the fire in her eyes intensifying.

"Trust the process?" she hissed. "This is humiliating. Do you have any idea how this looks?"

Jonathan's gaze hardened. "This isn’t about looks, Victoria. It's about something much more important."

Genevieve, still holding Victoria’s arm, squeezed gently. “Listen to your father,” she urged. “We’ll handle this, but not here and not like this.”

Victoria clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to regain control. She took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

He sighed inwardly. What was wrong with his kin? None of them had inherited his calmness. Jonathan was a heartless man, and he embraced it. His lack of empathy was the reason the company thrived.

Not wanting to embarrass herself, Genevieve said, "This will ruin our business with the Barnes family."

Jonathan smirked. Failure was not in his vocabulary.

"Did you forget why the Barneses agreed to give their only son to us?" he asked, his tone icy.

Genevieve fell silent.

Victoria, who had just overheard this, looked confused and concerned. "Mom, what is Dad talking about?"

Genevieve hesitated, searching for the right words to explain. She wanted to protect her daughter from the harsh truths.

Flashback Start

After Genevieve suggested the idea of an engagement between both families, Jonathan initially thought it would be impossible. It wasn't a bad idea, but the Barneses were like royalty in the business world.

He didn't expect Bucky's father to agree. However, there was a condition: “If my son has second thoughts before the marriage, he can end the relationship.”

That was the truth of the engagement. Jonathan had told Genevieve to remind Victoria not to get too attached to Bucky.

He had prepared for the possibility that Bucky might want to end the engagement. Even though Jonathan was a cold father, he saw at the engagement party that there was no spark between Bucky and Victoria.

But he never thought Bucky would come to him and ask for you.

His first daughter was wild and always going berserk. How in the world could Bucky be interested in you?

Nonetheless, Bucky still chose someone from the Sinclair family.

Flashback End

Victoria fumed. "Outrageous. This is adultery."

Jonathan sipped his wine calmly. "There's nothing between you and him. Even a blind person could feel it."

"But..." She couldn't deny it.

Genevieve interjected, "Bucky is supposed to be with Victoria." Her plan was for Victoria to marry Bucky. She wanted her daughter to have the best. But you have ruined everything.

"Silence," Jonathan commanded.

That single word from his mouth silenced both women. They could see the unyielding determination in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter as long as he's with someone from our family. Don’t forget, she is still my daughter," he said, giving a warning look to his wife. His voice was low and firm, leaving no room for argument.

He knew everything she did to you. He didn't help you because you told him you didn't want anything from him, so he obliged.

The way you despised him also made him ignore you more.

But now, seeing you and Bucky together, he knew he had to give you more attention.

Genevieve went pale because this meant that Jonathan had acknowledged your position.

The three of them went silent.

In contrast, your heartbeat was racing because everyone's eyes were on you.

You gripped Bucky's arm tighter. “I don't fit in here.”

Bucky felt it too. He gently patted your hand and said, “Don't worry. It's time for you to claim back what's yours.”

He was right. You used to dream of this moment. It seemed impossible, but now you're here because of Bucky.

You got this!

Author Note: I learned it too late that I made Bucky's mothers name is the same as the reader's grandma. Lol. 😂 So, I changed Bucky's mother's name to Juliana, while the name Cassandra belongs to the reader's grandma.

Taglist:

@thezombieprostitute

@thetravelingtyper

@scott-loki-barnes

@mostlymarvelgirl

@chemtrails-club

@dexter99

@seresingirlie

@missvelvetsstuff

@kjah97

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@itsteambarnes

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@buckitostan

@wh0reforbucknasty

@bada-lee-ily

@evie-119

@mrsstuckyboo

@ghalouha

@iamasimpingh0e

@loki-laufeyson68

@buckybarnessimpp

Author Note: Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account.

Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating.

Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

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[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 19- Good Luck, and Goodnight

Summary: It's the night before your wedding at your rehearsal dinner. Things are prepped and ready for the big day tomorrow, everyone couldn't be happier for you and Javi, and if you were any more excited to marry your future husband, you're convinced you'll explode. Everything seems to be going perfectly, that is, until it's not.

Word Count: 12.5K (Lil Shawty for me tbh)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap before u tap), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, big fat breeding kink, getting cockblocked by your dog (Sorry, Bear), mentions of death of family members, Javi putting his preemptive girl dad skills to the test (and passing with flying colors), mentions of anxiety/panic, lack of sleep due to said anxiety, Javi can't stop calling you Mrs. Peña and telling you how excited he is to get married, Javi once again setting the bar in the sky for all men

A/N: I am literally so sorry from the bottom of my heart this chapter has legit taken a month (January has kicked my ASS). I am so excited for their wedding, but I figured we'd get a little sneak peak before the big day arrives!! As if this series wasn't already self indulgent enough, I too, have been cockblocked by my own dog more times than I would like to count (please tell me I am not the only one), and got approximately 3 and a half hours of sleep the night before my wedding 🫠 (forever anxious girlies (gn) rise up!!!) ily each and every one of you so much, thank you for all your love and support 🥺💕

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

Perfect. 

That was what your morning felt like as you blinked the sleep from your eyes, stretching your arms over your head to wake yourself to the vision of the bright, golden sunrise spilling through your curtains, casting towering shadows on your bedroom, soft July breeze floating through your open window. 

Birds singing their melodic morning songs, wind gently rustling the trees outside your window…

“Hhhhhhsssssmmmmmggggggggg” 

“Mmmmmmgggggghhhhhhhhhggg” 

…The sweet, synchronized snores of your future husband and dog snuggled next to you, still sound asleep as their bodies laid splayed across the better half of the bed with the majority of the comforter and sheets tangled between them, leaving you with a sliver of mattress and a tiny corner of blanket. 

Well, it was almost perfect. 

You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of your two favorite boys happily snoozing away as the world began to wake around them, pressing a soft kiss onto each of their heads before sleepily shuffling your way to the bathroom. 

You had barely made it two steps before Bear’s ears perked up, tail thumping against the mattress to see at least one of his favorite humans was awake, and better yet, able to feed him breakfast. He sprung off the bed, happily trotting behind you as he followed you to the bathroom, patiently sitting by the toilet as you peed, since you had quickly learned that personal space no longer existed after Bear had become a permanent member of your home. 

“Gimme a second, ya goof.” You smiled, laughing to yourself as you flushed, maneuvering around Bear’s big body to wash your hands before the two of you meandered to the kitchen, leaving Bear wagging and shaking in excitement as he sat by his bowl, wiggling even faster as he watched you dump his food into his dish and began to chow down. 

Leaving Bear to munch on his breakfast, you snuck your way back to the bedroom, softly closing the door behind you before crawling back into bed, sneaking through the sea of tangled sheets to find Javi’s body, his presence warm and inviting as you nestled up next to him. 

Your hands slid up his bare chest and over the broadness of his shoulders until your hands met his jaw, gently cupping the unshaven stubble of his cheeks, swiping your thumb back and forth against his scruff skin.

Javi’s body began to stir, his arms now wrapping around you to pull you on top of him, your stomach resting against his as he squeezed you against his body, making you erupt in sleepy giggles. 

“Good morning, sleepy head.” You whispered against his skin, planting soft kisses across his patchy beard while his eyes began to slowly flutter open, quickly joined by a tired grin growing between his cheeks. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Peña.” He rasped, his greeting making you pull back to see the boyish smirk plastered all over his face, the hands that had been resting on the small of your back slowly snaking their way down to your ass, and giving it a little squeeze. 

“Almost Mrs. Peña, you dork. One more day.” You giggled, your face growing warm at the realization that in 24 hours, that name would be your reality and your forever for the rest of your life. 

“Close enough.” Javi grinned, leaning up to press a soft kiss against your lips, practically feeling his sleepy smile against your mouth. “Fuck, I can’t believe we’re getting married tomorrow. I can’t wait. I can’t wait for you to be my wife,” he pressed another kiss on your cheek, making you giggle, “I can’t wait to be your husband,” he paused, making you giggle even louder as he began trailing his lips down your neck, the hairs of his mustache tickling your skin, “to spend the rest of my life with you,” you squealed as Javi flipped you onto your back, your head landing on your pillows as he hovered over your body, gently tugging your oversized shirt over your stomach, letting his hand creep up your skin, “have a family with you, fuck a baby into you.” you could feel the subtle shift in his tone as his hand palmed at your breasts, kneading your soft flesh, making you let out a soft moan, whispering his name. 

You and Javi had agreed on two conditions in attempts to keep your ever growing baby fever somewhat at bay- One, you were married, and two, your new house was completely finished and ready to be moved into. Tomorrow, the first half of your agreement was about to be fulfilled, and with the second half only a few weeks away, the prospect of legitimately trying for a baby was on the horizon, the two of you had been absolutely insatiable about the idea. 

“Javi, please…” 

“Please what, Osita? Tell me what you want, Hermosa. You want me to give you a baby when I give you my last name too, huh? Show everyone you’re mine with that ring on your finger and our baby growing inside you?” Javi rasped, tugging your sleep shorts off your hips, sliding them down your legs and hit the floor as he situated himself at the edge of the bed, gently nudging open your knees to reveal the arousal that had begun pooling between your legs, soaking your folds and inner thighs. “Sure looks like that’s what you want, isn’t it, sweet girl? Fuck me, you’re so fucking wet already.” 

“Jesus Christ…Yes, oh my god.” You whimpered, already feeling your mind go blank as he settled himself between your legs, draping his arms over your thighs pinning you to the bed, kissing closer and closer to your core, letting his lips ghost over your clit, making you shutter. 

“I know, Osita. Almost, baby. As soon as we’re married and this house is finally done, I’ll give you everything you want. I promise.”  He smirked, watching the desperation spread across your face as he licked one long, broad stroke through your folds, tongue pressed flat against your sensitive bundle of nerves, already aching and throbbing without barely being touched. Almost painfully slowly, he began to work his mouth around your clit before taking his two fingers and collecting the slick dripping from your entrance, soaking his digits before pushing them into your heat, the sensation making you audibly moan in pleasure. 

Javi took his sweet time, pumping his curved fingers in and out of your cunt, hitting the soft, spongy spot inside of you over and over as his tongue danced across your clit, swirling and sucking in the way he knew made you lose your mind in the best way possible, relishing in every moan and whimper that escaped from your mouth. Your hand shot down to his head nestled between your thighs, tugging at the sleepy curls of his dark brown hair, looking for some relief as you felt the tingle at the base of your spine begin to grow, slowly creeping its way through your body.  

It never failed to shock you how quickly Javi was able to make you cum without even trying, how he had memorized every twitch and tug of your body beneath him, that he had learned all the ways to make you fall apart over and over again like his life depended on it. It also never failed to shock you how much the smug grin that spread across Javi’s face as he knew you were getting close made you lose yourself even more, the lust swirling in the deep brown of his eyes staring up at you with delight, practically begging for you to cum for him. 

“Fuck, oh fuck- Just like that Javi, fuck, oh shit- holy fuck, you feel so good, baby.” You whimpered, your hand still buried in the locks of his hair as he pulled his face away, the smirk under his mustache covered in your slick as his fingers continued to languidly pulse inside you, now feeling your cunt clench tighter and tighter around them. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. I know you’re close, Hermosa, can feel how fucking tight you are around my fingers. Cum for me, Osita, I’ve got you, baby. Cum for me and then I’ll fuck you so good I swear I’ll fucking beat your birth control and knock you up right now.” His words hummed deep in his chest, the thought of his promise alone making you writhe in the tangled sheets of your bed, your pussy beginning to flutter as he dove back between your legs, his leisurely pace now becoming almost as frantic and desperate as you were. 

His mouth latched around your clit, tongue flicking and and prodding at your sensitive nerves as his fingers worked in tandem, fucking deeper into you with each thrust of your hand, trying to use his other arm to keep you in place as you bucked your hips, instinctively needing to grind your bottom half against his face, feeling your sweet release beginning to spread through you. 

It wasn’t long before the coil inside you had completely snapped, your orgasm spreading through every inch of your body as you cried out Javi’s name, his fingertips digging into the meat of your thighs as he relentlessly worked you through your high, only stopping as the the cries of his name transformed into ragged moans and breathless pants, you fingers gripping so tight on your sheets, you were convinced your knuckles were turning white. 

In one swift motion, Javi had already shifted from between your legs to on top of you, ripping his boxers off his hips, letting his already hard length rest against your thigh as his mouth crashed into yours, the sweet and tangy taste of your slick still fresh where your lips became a mess of tangled tongues and teeth. His broad palm kneaded at the soft flesh of your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between his fingers while the other reached between your bodies, stroking his length before lining himself up with your entrance, the delicious stretch of his fullness making you whine as he bottomed out inside you, his hips flushed against yours, letting you feel every inch of him inside you. 

“Javi, holy shit, fuck, baby.” You whimpered, your brain already beginning to short circuit as Javi began to thrust his hips, the lewd noises of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy already filling the room between your moans and whines. 

Javi buried his face in your neck, sucking at your pulse point as your arm draped around his back, digging your fingertips into the strong muscles of his shoulders as his pace began to quicken as he felt your arms wrap around him. 

Suddenly, Javi’s arm snaked under your back, lifting the both of you up as you settled into his lap, your legs straddling over his as you came chest to chest, foreheads resting against each others while he continued to fuck into you over and over. His palm spread splayed across your bare back while the other snaked around your waist, keeping you steady while you swirled your hips on his length and your bodies melted into one another's. 

The damp curls of his sweat ridden hair brushed against your face as he turned his head up to kiss you again, your lips locking while your bodies moved in sync, the perfect motion of each push and pull bringing you closer to the edge of release. 

“Fuck, you’re so perfect. My perfect fucking wife. Gonna be a perfect fucking mom for our kids. Oh fuck- Fuck, I love you so much, Osita.” Javi grunted, his grip on your body growing tighter as he could feel you beginning to tighten around his cock, throwing your head back in pleasure as you felt the coil in your belly begin to tighten again. 

It felt like a moment where nothing else in the world existed besides the two of you, so blissfully unaware of anything else besides the sweet sensation of getting lost in each other. It was a moment you could have gotten trapped in forever- until you heard the familiar creek of your bedroom door swing open, making your eyes go wide in panic. 

“Javi, Javi-” You whispered frantically, trying to catch your breath and get his attention as he continued to thrust into you, completely unaware of the scene that was beginning to unfold behind him. “Javi!” You panted again, this time tapping your hand against his back, the action combined with your clear change in tone enough to snap him out of his current state. 

“What? What’s going on? Are you okay?” He gasped, trying to catch his breath alongside you, scrunching his brow in confusion at the terrified look on your face as you stared across the bedroom. 

It was only when Bear let out a happy “woof” from the foot of your bed that Javi immediately understood your terror, realizing your dog had just walked in on the middle of you two having sex. 

“Oh fuck me…” Javi muttered, the two of you frozen in fear as you looked at each other, “I thought you closed the door after you fed him this morning.” 

“Well obviously I thought I did too…” You grumbled, looking back and forth between the stark contrast in Bear’s blissfully unaware state and Javi’s very aware and embarrassed one.

“What do we do?” 

“I don’t know, Jav, just like, go find a way to get him out of the room and then close the door so he can’t get back in.” 

“He’s gonna see me naked! I don’t wanna traumatize him!” 

“Oh because him watching us have sex is gonna traumatize him less? Take the blanket at the end of the bed if you’re so worried.” 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi sighed as you got off his lap, scooching to the edge of the bed as he wrapped the blanket around his waist, making Bear perk up and happily thump his tail on the floor where he had been sitting, staring up at you. “Hey, bud, let’s get you out of here, okay? C’mon!” 

Bear was nothing if not the world’s happiest, most playful dog, so as soon as he saw Javi crouching down, trying to coax him out of the bedroom, Bear took it as his turn to pounce, jumping up to tug at the blanket Javi was using to shield himself and catching it in his teeth, promptly ripping it off Javi’s body and leaving him completely naked as your dog pranced around your room with his new “toy”. 

“Bear, no! Give that back! Fuck!” Javi shouted, trying to cover himself with one hand and chase Bear with the other, leaving you erupting in laughter at the comical sight beginning to unfold in real time in front of you. “Oh, so you think this is funny now? No, Bear, drop it!” Javi groaned, finally getting a grip on the blanket Bear had taken as he released it from his mouth, Javi frantically scrambling to wrap it back around his waist. 

“... It is a little funny…” You snickered, trying your best to contain your giggles as Javi rolled his eyes, letting out a huff of frustration as he started to herd Bear into the hallway again. Throwing one of the balls that Bear had left behind in your bedroom, your dog quickly scampered away in a hasteful chase while Javi quickly shut the door behind him, triple checking to make sure it was locked. Javi let out a few deep breaths, the two of you laughing to yourselves, only to be interrupted by whines and scratches coming from the other side of the door. 

A small frown spread between Javi’s cheeks hearing the sad noises whimpering in the hallway, looking back at you with even sadder puppy dog eyes than you were convinced your dog would be giving you from outside your bedroom. You sighed, giving him a slightly annoyed look, knowing that for as much as you loved your dog, Javi had a soft spot for Bear like no other, and the thought of leaving him sad and alone without the two of you was making him crack quicker than you had anticipated. 

“Javi, he’s a dog, I promise, he’ll be fine.” You sighed, reading the concerned look plastered across Javi’s face with his back pressed to the bedroom door. 

“I know… He just sounds so sad. I don’t want him to think we’re mad at him.” Javi pouted, his frown growing even bigger as Bear’s whines became louder and louder. 

“Javi… Seriously?” You sassed, knowing that any other time you would have relished in the sweet sentiment of how much Javi loved your dog, but right now, that was the last thing your horny brain really seemed to care about. 

“Fine, fine.” He huffed, dropping the blanket and making his way back to the bed, climbing his way back on the mattress, hovering over you. His lips met yours again, trailing down your face and collarbone as you reached between your bodies to wrap your hands around Javi’s cock, beginning to stroke him in hopes your efforts would help get him hard again after the incident with the dog had not done him any favors. 

Over your muffled moans and wet kisses, Bear’s pathetic whines carried through the door, becoming harder and harder to ignore as Javi’s dick was becoming less and less hard. 

“You’re not gonna be able to stop thinking about the dog, are you?” You laughed to yourself, your grasp dropping from around his cock, still soft despite your efforts, Javi’s head dropping into your shoulder in defeat, letting out a frustrated exhale in silent agreement. 

“I’m sorry…” He grumbled, now flopping over next to you on the bed, burying his head in his hands in embarrassment. 

“You are such a softie, Javier Jesús Peña. Literally and figuratively.” You giggled, playfully crossing your arms over your chest and raising an eyebrow at Javi. You couldn’t even pretend to be mad, because as much as you wanted to be, the way Javi was too sweet for his own damn good with your dog had you imagining what he’d be like as a dad, and that- that was enough to melt you in a puddle faster than a snowman in the middle of July. “Alright, let’s get dressed. As much as I hate to admit it, I think this is the universe’s way of telling us we probably have more important things to do on the day before our wedding that wrangle our dog out of our bedroom so we can fuck.” 

You let out an overdramatic grunt as you pushed yourself out of bed, fishing Javi’s oversized t-shirt off of the floor and throwing it over your top, followed by your sleep shorts and tossing Javi’s boxers back to him as he stood sheepishly by the door. 

“I’m not that big of a sap…” Javi grumbled reluctantly, shuffling his underwear over his hips rolling his eyes at you as you met him by the door, draping your arms around his neck and pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on his unshaven stubble. 

“You 100% are, even if you won’t admit it. And that,” You paused, pressing another peck of your lips to his, “Is reason number 3,452 why I love you so much.” 

“3,452? That’s it?” He teased, playfully shaking you in his grasp before wrapping his hand around the back of your head, pulling it closer to his bare chest as he buried a kiss in the messy roots of your hair. “Seems kinda low.” 

“Better watch yourself, Peña, or I’ll make it 3,451.” You smirked, giving him a little nudge as you reached over to the doorknob, letting Bear stampede into your room and hop up onto your bed, gleefully wiggling at the sight of his two favorite people. “And you, mister, are so lucky that you are so cute and that your dad can’t say no to you. Whaddya say, stinker, should we take you for one last walk before your mom and dad get married? And then hopefully you’ll be tired enough by the time we get back to let us finish what we started?” 

“You are fucking ridiculous, you know that right?” Javi grinned, gently cupping his hand over your cheek, rubbing his thumb against your skin. 

“A ridiculous woman who is about to be your wife, so that’s on you, ya goof.” 

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you, too. Let’s go get married.” 

When Javi had asked you to marry him, there had never been a shred of doubt in your mind that your answer would be anything less than a resounding yes. There hadn’t been a single shred of doubt or worry since he slid that ring on your finger last November, and you knew that your plans for a small wedding with your close friends and family on the Peña ranch was the perfect way to celebrate the beginning of the rest of your lives together. 

You had no fears or worries that tomorrow was going to be anything less than perfect, not a single care or stress in the world. 

But everyone else’s stress was enough to make you age another 40 years before you even had the chance to say  “I do.” 

Your family had flown in from Chicago earlier in the week, followed by the Murphy family, staying in your nearly finished new home to help the two of you prepare for the big day, although the word “prepare” seemed to have quite different definitions depending on who you asked. 

To your mom, Connie, and sister-in-law, prepared meant steaming your dress, triple checking the amount of silverware for dinner, harassing you about finally getting your nails painted and creating her 407th checklist of to-do’s since landing in Laredo on Wednesday. 

To Steve and your brothers, it meant barely remembering to bring their suits with them on the plane and asking Javi to come out to the bar with them to have some fun before the wedding instead of working on either of their speeches they were supposed to be giving.  

To your nieces and the Murphy girls, it meant forming a ferocious girl gang of 5 and constantly pestering anyone they could find to take them to Mr. Chucho’s to go play with the cows and the horses since wedding planning was clearly not as fun as being at the farm with the animals. 

To your dad and Chucho, it meant staying as far away from the whole situation as possible and being forever thankful there was at least one TV set up in your new house where he could watch ESPN in peace. 

And to you and Javi, it meant the best you could do was take a deep breath and pray that one way or another, you would survive everyone’s stress and all made it to live to see your wedding day. 

With less than 24 hours to go, everyone in the wedding had found themselves gathered at the Peña ranch for final preparations, your rehearsal dinner, and getting all the girls settled to spend the night at the ranch to get their hair and makeup done the next morning, while the boys would migrate to your new house, considering the most getting ready they had to do was fix their hair and put on their suits. While everyone else was busy with dinner, decorations, or in your brother’s case, distracting everyone else from doing what they were supposed to be, you had found a moment to sneak away into Javi’s room where you were planning on staying for the night, looking for at least a few moments of peace and quiet amongst the chaos. 

“You doin’ okay, Mrs. Peña?” Javi’s soft voice cooed from the doorway of his old bedroom, watching you sort through your 3rd bag of things you had packed to make sure you were prepared for tomorrow morning, quietly laughing to himself at your meticulous packing and organizing. 

The familiar sound made your head turn, letting out a quiet sigh and smile of relief to see it was your future husband standing in the doorway, and not anyone else asking you for something or plans about tomorrow. 

“I’m okay, this is all just-” 

“A lot?” He chuckled, making his way into the room to sit next to your bags spread across his old bed, outstretching his arms to pull you in for a hug to try and distract you from the stress he could feel radiating from all the way outside the door, knowing you had probably needed a break from all the hustle and bustle happening outside from last minute set up and rehearsal dinner. 

“Yeah, a lot.” You huffed, feeling your body sink into Javi’s embrace, savoring in the familiarity of his warmth and savory scent, feeling the tension ease in your body as you remembered the reason for your wedding holding you tightly in his arms. “I know everyone is just trying to be helpful, and I don’t want to you to think I’m not excited because I am, I’m so excited to marry you, it’s just that-” 

“Shhhhhh, baby, it’s okay. I feel the same way. C’mere.” He smiled, pulling you closer to him, squeezing you just tight enough to make you burst into giggles before releasing you to grab your hands in his, gently tracing his thumbs along your skin in delicate circles. “Just think, tomorrow, we get to get married and spend the whole day celebrating the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with the most beautiful, stunning, amazing woman on the face of this earth, and then after that, we get to spend 10 days in the Bahamas, just me, my wife and the beach, without a worry in the world besides how long we wanna sit in the sun, what drink you want in your hand and where we wanna fu-” 

“There they are! Shit, you were right, Steve, you know the man well.” Your brother David’s voice rang from down the hallway, quickly followed by the footsteps and sounds of your other brother Charlie, and Steve. 

“Hey! Lovebirds! Remember that party that we’re throwin’ for y’all? Probably would be good if you were there for it instead of makin’ out in here. You got the whole honeymoon for that.” Steve teased, knocking on your door, the boy’s laughter and snickers was enough to make you and Javi whip your heads around, rolling your eyes at the goofy gang the 3 had become since meeting for the first time a few days ago, you and Connie both agreeing that the group was no better than a pack of middle school boys with the ability to drink beer, happily confiding in their shit talking shenanigans to pass the time to distract from the wedding formalities they needed to be kept most up to date on. 

“Yeah, dude, Mom’s been looking for you for like 15 minutes. I’ve already had my wedding and I don’t need to suffer her wrath again.” Charlie smirked, taking a sip of his drink while Steve and David snickered to themselves.   

“Don’t you two idiots have anything better to do than annoy us and drag Steve into it too?” You groaned, turning around and crossing your arms over your chest to face the 3 Stooges in your doorway. 

“No, not really.” David shrugged, finishing off the rest of his beer. 

“Perfect,” You sighed, voice oozing with sarcasm, “Tell mom we’ll be out there in 5 minutes, okay?” 

“Alright, timer’s set, gentlemen,” Steve cackled, waving his wrist in the air and pointing to his watch, “and God knows I’ve walked in on you two enough times that I won’t be the one coming to get you when time’s up.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Murph. Get the fuck outta here, or I’m gonna pick one of the cows outside to be my best man instead of you.” Javi grumbled, resting his face in his palm, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers as he shook his head. 

“Honestly, kinda sounds like an upgrade…” David smirked, slapping Steve on the chest before turning over to Charlie and gesturing towards the hallway, your brothers now scampering away in laughter as Steve chased off behind them. 

“Just think, tomorrow, they’re officially your brothers, too. Lucky you.” You huffed, rolling your eyes as you stepped back into Javi, laying your face on his chest while his arms wrapped around you again, pulling you in for one more hug as he kissed your forehead. 

“I’d take 100 of your brothers if it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you.” He smiled, bringing his hand to your cheek and tilting your gaze up towards him. 

“100? Really?” You teased, raising an eyebrow at him, the two of you laughing at the idea of multiplying your siblings times 50. 

“On second thought, 2 is just fine.” 

“Good thing Patrick’s not here, because I think at this point if he was, they probably would have found a way to take my wedding dress and put it on a horse.” Even though a soft smile settled across your face at the idea of your brothers (and apparently, now honorary brother, Steve) scheming up some sort of stupid prank, Javi could feel the twinge of pain hidden in your voice, knowing how desperately you wished your late brother was here to celebrate your wedding with you. “He would have really loved you, Javi. I really wish he got to be here.” 

You couldn’t help but feel a sting in Javi’s silence as well, knowing how much he missed his mom, too. How deeply he wished that she knew he was finally happy, and had found someone to spend the rest of his life with that she would have loved just as much as he loved you. “I wish your mom got to be here, too. Maybe she could have helped calm my mom down a little.” You smiled at Javi, the two of you both trying to fight the tears that had begun welling in your eyes at the void you wished more than just their memories could fill. 

“She would have loved you so much too, Osita. So fucking much.” 

You held each other just a little tighter before pulling away to wipe the wetness pooling in your eyes,  You paused for a moment, letting out a quiet sigh and laugh, knowing Patrick would have promptly kicked your ass for crying about him at your wedding and told you to stop being such a baby about it, just like Javi knew his mom would be throwing a fit knowing he was spending any waking moment before his wedding not cherishing every moment he could with his bride to be. 

“I love you, Jav.” You sniffed, staring up at him with watering eyes and a sympathetic smile. 

“I love you too, Osita.” He smiled back, his big brown eyes locking with yours in a soft, loving gaze. 

“Okay, well, we should probably head back out there so my mom doesn’t lose her shit and Steve doesn’t harass us anymore.” 

“I wasn’t kidding when I said the cow may be a better choice.” 

“Listen… I never said it wasn’t” 

As the two of you made your way to the back patio where everyone was gathered, you were quickly greeted by your mom and Connie, who had very early on taken it upon themselves to oversee that everything about your rehearsal dinner ran as smoothly as it could to ensure no hiccups tomorrow at the cost of nearly driving you up a wall from their constant and loving pestering. 

“Okay, one last thing and then we’re done, I promise.” Connie grimaced, bracing herself for your less than enthused reaction to what you were convinced would definitely not be her final request of the night. 

“We think that we should run through the ceremony one more time, just to be safe.” Your mom chimed in, nodding her head in agreement with Connie. 

“Like the ceremony that we practiced 3 times an hour ago?” You replied, trying your best to hide your annoyance with their over preparedness, Javi’s hand snaking around your waist and giving your hip a little squeeze of reassurance knowing you were trying your best to keep it together. 

“Okay listen, yes, but-” Connie began to rebuttal, only to be cut off promptly by your mom. 

“It’s your brothers, sweetie. I love them, but let’s be honest, they’re idiots. I don’t trust them to remember how to put their socks on correctly in the morning, let alone walk down the aisle for your wedding.” 

“Unfortunately, I think I may have to put Steve in that category too. I think the girls have it down better than he does.” Connie groaned, all of you now looking across the deck to see your brothers and Steve, David with a beer bottle balanced on his head and the other two chucking empty cans at him to try and knock it off, very quickly nodding in silent agreement that your mom and Connie were definitely not off base about this request. 

“Yeah, okay, fair point.” You laughed, your eyes widening at your idiot brothers, their honorary 3rd member, and the one shared brain cell between them. “Sorry that they roped Steve into the Completely Clueless Carnival of Stupidity.” 

“I’m sorry that my husband is a 12 year old boy who keeps egging them on.” Connie sighed, shaking her head at the trio. “Word of marriage advice, Javi? This?” She pointed over at Steve, now cheering and high fiving your brothers as he whipped an empty can at David, knocking his bottle off his head, “Not helping anyone get laid any time soon.” 

“Duly noted.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his idiot friend, “I’ll remind Steve that he is a very lucky man.”  

After a few minutes of wrangling, Connie and your mom were able to herd everyone back to the field where the ceremony was taking place, quizzing all members of the wedding party about their positions and timing to walk down the aisle after explaining for the 6th time, mostly because 5 out of the 6 times, your brothers had completely forgotten at what point they were supposed to make their appearance.

Even though it was the 4th practice round tonight, you couldn't keep the excited butterflies in your stomach from churning as you met Javi at the end of the aisle, staring up at the lovestruck gaze in his sweet brown eyes while he took your hand in his, softly mouthing “I love you” just loud enough for only you to hear, knowing that the next time you met him here, it would be the real thing. 

With your mom and Connie satisfied enough, everyone was set free to disperse and enjoy the rest of the night for the next few hours, until it was time to send everyone their separate ways before the big day. 

As you and Javi were making your way back to the patio, the two of you felt little hands tugging at the back of your clothes, whipping around to see the girl gang of your niece’s and the Murphy’s, all staring up at you and Javi with scheming grins and puppy dog eyes. 

“Auntie Bear? Uncle Javi?” Your niece Olivia questioned, placing herself at the front of the group to signify herself as the unofficial leader, making you already aware she was going to try and persuade you of something given her syrupy tone. 

“Yes, Miss Olivia?” You replied, crouching down to her level, knowingly raising an eyebrow at her, giving her a little smirk. 

“Wellllll, we were all wondering if maybeeeeee, you and Uncle Javi could go take us to see the horses before we have to go to bed?” If Olivia’s eyes couldn’t have been any wider, the rest of the girl’s sure were, practically pleading with you and Javi as they playfully pouted, chanting a chorus of “please, please, please, please, pleaseeeeeee?” 

“I don’t know girls, it’s starting to get late, we may not have a lot of time.” You responded, pushing yourself back up to stand as you looked over at Javi, running his hand over the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. 

“I mean… We probably have enough time.” He muttered with a little shrug, looking back over at you, trying to hide the puddle he was turning into as the girl's adorable begging began to melt him. Hearing his response, the girls started to squeal in delight, jumping up and down before tackling Javi with hugs of gratitude. 

“Thank you, Mr. Javi!” The older Olivia screeched, beaming with joy as her younger sister snuck between her and Javi, wrapping her arms around his leg with such force it almost took him to the ground. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best Uncle Javi!” Your nieces squealed, now joining Abby on Javi’s free leg and trapping him in their grasp. 

“Alright well let’s not break Uncle Javi before we make it to the barn.” You laughed, peeling the girls off of him as they giggled and squirmed. “How about this? Why don’t you guys race to the gate, and we’ll meet you over there?” 

“Okay!” The girls shouted in unison, quickly toppling off of Javi and lining themselves up in a racing position. 

“On your mark… Get set… Go!” You yelled, sending the group dashing through the tall grass in a fit of joyous laughter and leaving you snickering at Javi, recovering from his full fledged attack from the giggle gang. 

“I already know what you’re gonna say…” Javi grumbled, following behind you and the girls towards the barn, rolling his eyes at the smug look you had plastered on your face from cheek to cheek. 

“Oh, yeah? And what am I gonna say, Jav?” You smirked, giving him a playful jab with your elbow, patiently waiting for your future husband’s admittance to having the biggest soft spot known to man. 

“They’re just- They all looked so sweet and I didn’t wanna tell them no! They’re so cute.” Javi muttered, trying to defend himself from your interrogation, without having to directly admit the truth that the both of you knew all too well. 

“Sooooooo, what you’re saying is…” You bit down on your lip, knowingly shrugging at Javi, trying to hold back your grin. 

“... I’m a softie, you win.” He sighed, trying to keep himself from smiling at his defeat, even though well aware of the fact without having to admit it out loud. 

“Who would have thought, once the world’s most sought after DEA agent to hunt down the cartel is now getting married and providing pony rides to his future nieces.” You teased, giving him another poke before he had you squealing too, picking you up and slinging you over his shoulder, carrying you through the field and spinning you around before placing you back down, giving you a playful shake. 

“Not me. But I couldn’t be more happy that I’m wrong about it. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about the fact that I’m the luckiest fucking guy on the planet that you helped me prove myself wrong.” 

“I couldn’t be more happy you proved yourself wrong, too.” 

The promise of getting to see the horses of the Peña ranch had the girls wiggling with excitement, goofy grins on their faces as they watched you and Javi approach the barn gate in hightented anticipation of getting to interact with the animals. 

Fortunately for the girls, Javi was more than happy to let them have free reign of the barn, letting them pet any horse they pleased for as long as they wanted, even letting the girls sneak each of them a few more treats than they should have.

Unfortunately for you, you hadn’t braced yourself for the absolute puddle you were planning on becoming as you watched Javi interact with your nieces and the Murphy’s. As if it wasn’t already sweet enough that the girls completely adored him, Javi was so thoughtful and patient with each and every one of them, taking the time to answer their questions, tell them the horses names, and hoist the younger girls up on his hip so they could see too, carefully cradling them in one arm and pointing out things with the other that made their little faces beam with joy. 

At one point, he had propped up Brianna to sit on his shoulders, both of their faces lighting up as he watched her lean in to pet one of the horses and then pull back in delight to clap at her bravery, only to tap Javi’s head shouting “Again! Again!” as your other niece stood next to the both of them, cheering Brianna on as she squealed in satisfaction before Olivia was begging for you to come join in on the fun. You had to physically brace yourself as you walked over to the trio, because the sight of Javi and the giggling girls alone was making you weak in the fucking knees, let alone how he looked with a toddler hoisted up on his shoulders. 

“Auntie Bear, look at how pretty the horses are!” Olivia squealed, grabbing on to the edge of the stall to peek over and see the horses inside. “Uncle Javi can you lift me up one more time so I can see pleaseeeeeeeee?” 

“Of course, kiddo.” Javi grinned, reaching up to take Brianna off his shoulders, giving her a little raspberry on her belly on the way down before passing her off to you trying your best to keep your cool while your heart and ovaries were casually exploding into a million little pieces. “Up ya go.” He grunted, lifting Olivia up to rest at his waist, holding her closer to pet the horse. 

“I think that she’s my favorite. I like her spots.” Olivia smiled, petting the horse as Javi held her. 

“You know who else's favorite horse that is?” Javi chuckled, watching Oliva lean over to press a quick kiss into the horse’s nose before pulling her back up, watching her head curiously tilt at his question. 

“Who?” 

“Mr. Chucho’s.” He answered, laughing as he watched her face light up in excitement, grinning with glee. 

“Really?! Auntie Bear, we have to go tell Mr. Chucho that we have the same favorite horse! Can we go tell him?” 

“Absolutely, Cutie Patootie. We should probably start heading back anyway, we don’t want sleepy flower girls for tomorrow, do we?” 

“But I is not even tieward.” Brianna pouted, letting out a long yawn after the end of her sentence, rubbing her eyes in contradiction to her statement, you and Javi quietly smirking at each other at your sleepy niece, gently resting her head against your chest. 

“Of course you aren’t, Lil Miss. Liv, why don’t you go get the other girls and start heading back, okay? You guys can say goodbye to the horses on the way out.” 

“You got it, Auntie Bear! C’mon you guys, let’s go, let’s go!” Before you could barely finish your sentence, Olivia was grabbing the rest of the girls, practically dragging them through the barn, the gaggle of girls racing past the stables and out the barn door as you and Javi trailed behind with Brianna sleepily situated in your arms. You were no less than 10 feet out of the stables before you could feel Brianna’s little snores against your chest, quietly laughing to yourself as you kissed her head, pulling her closer to you. 

“Not sleepy, huh? God, you are getting heavy though, especially with your sleeping dead weight.” You laughed quietly to yourself, readjusting Brianna in your arms before looking over at Javi, his eyes wide and enamored, quietly watching you hold your niece, letting his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he gulped before speaking. 

“You uh- do you um, want me to hold her? If, um, if she’s heavy.” Javi stammered, trying to maintain his composure watching you cradle Brianna, unable to shake the image of what you would look like holding his baby in your arms, and how desperately he wished it was. 

You paused, looking over at Javi, trying not to blush at the awestruck look on his face, knowing he didn’t need to say a single word to hear what was running through his brain, and how much it made you want to say fuck it to your already agreed upon plans to hold out on trying for a baby until after tomorrow and your house was finished.  God, at this point, you’d give this man a baby yesterday, every moment he spent with your nieces or the Murphy girls only making your ovaries weaker and weaker at what a good dad you knew he was going to make. 

“No, I’m okay. Plus, I think if I watch you hold her, I’m gonna lose any last ounce of self-control that I have.” It was also taking every last ounce of self-control to keep your ridiculously goofy grin from spreading any further across your face than it already was, looking Javi up and down with a little eyebrow raise, watching a smug smirk grow between his cheeks. Leaning in just a little closer, Javi wrapped his arm around your waist, planting a soft kiss in your hair and whispering in your ear. 

“And that would be a bad thing because…” 

Before you could even respond, you could feel the weight in your arms lessen, Javi reaching across your body to scoop Brianna into his grasp, gently cradling her over his broad shoulder and rubbing her back as she nestled against him with a little sleepy yawn. 

“Okay, well that isn’t fair in the slightest, is it?” You playfully pouted, crossing your now freed arms over your chest at Javi, the image of him carrying Brianna turning you closer and closer into a human puddle with every passing second. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Osita.” He smirked, shooting you a quick wink before hoisting Brianna up and wrapping his hand around the back of her head, cuddling her against his chest as he trotted back towards the house, leaving you a dumbfounded, lovestruck, baby craving mess in his wake. 

Javi seemed to have no problem testing every last bit of strength you had- carrying Brianna, playing with the girls, being the cutest damn thing you’d ever seen interacting with your nieces and the Murphys?  If this was meant to be a test of your strength, you were quickly realizing that you were turning out to be nothing if not a weak, weak woman who needed to make that man father almost as fast as you were about to make him your husband. 

As the fluorescent pink and orange sunset began to dip below the horizon, the sky shifting from colorful pastels to star speckled darkness, the festivities of the night were beginning to wind down- As hard as they had tried to fight it, your flower girls had barely made it 5 minutes after getting back from the horse barn before they were asleep in the lawn chairs scattered around the yard, your mom and Connie had finished their 15th round of surveillance to make sure that everything was in place for tomorrow, and your brothers and Steve were about 3 beers deeper than they should have been considering they were going to have to be both coherent and presentable in a few short hours. 

As much as you or Javi didn’t really care about the tradition, everyone else had insisted that the two of you spend your last night before the wedding apart- you and the girls at the Peña ranch to make things run more smoothly as you got ready in the morning, and all of the boys and Javi at your new house, now close enough to being completed that it was an option to house people for the night. 

The boys began to pile into the party of cars parked in the driveway, ready to transport them back to the house, while the girls had gathered your nieces and the Murphy’s to tuck them into bed, leaving you and Javi the last two out on the patio, the twinkling string lights hanging above the deck shining down on the backyard where tables and chairs lay waiting, ready to be decorated and filled with family and friends for your big day tomorrow. You couldn’t help but let out a quiet, content sigh, gently leaning your head onto Javi’s shoulder as his arm wrapped around your waist, rubbing soft circles into your hip. 

“I can’t believe we’re actually gonna get married tomorrow.” 

“I know, me either. Fuck, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. God, I’m the fucking luckiest man alive.” He grinned, his grip digging just a little tighter into your side, playfully shaking you in his grasp. 

“I’m gonna miss you tonight and tomorrow morning. I wish the marriage police weren’t on us about not sleeping in the same bed the night before the wedding.” You grumbled, gesturing back towards the house, Javi quietly laughing to himself knowing exactly who you were referring to without even having to say, both your mom and Chucho insisting the two of you indulge them in following through with the idea for “good luck’s sake”, if nothing else. 

“I know, baby. Although, I do think it may not be considered good luck to fuck the bride the night before the wedding.” 

“Speak for yourself…” The two of you snickered, shaking your heads at your remark. 

I’m gonna miss you too, Osita. The day will go by fast, I promise. And the next time I see you,” he paused, gently turning you to face him, his palm cupping your cheek while his sweet chocolate eyes looked you up and down as a goofy grin spread across his face, “you’re gonna be my wife.” 

No matter how many times you told it to yourself, it still didn’t quite feel real- 

Tomorrow, Javier Peña was going to be your husband.

Your stomach turned and flipped in anxious anticipation, butterflies dancing excitedly in your stomach as you let the looming reality start to sink in more and more, realizing that the day that you had been waiting for since the moment you had met him was so close, that you could almost taste it. 

Heat crept through your cheeks as Javi tilted in his head, leaning in to let his lips press against yours, lingering to take in every last bit of you he could as he kissed you, the familiar warmth and taste of him only making your heart beat faster as you tugged him in closer, letting your open mouths slowly turn into a dance of tongue and teeth, melting into each other like you were the only two things in the world that existed. 

Well, at least for a moment.

“Javi. Ehhm. Ehhmmmmmm. Javi! Javier!” 

The two of you practically jumped out of your skin to see Chucho standing right next to you, completely oblivious to the fact that he had probably been watching the two of you make out much longer than he had wanted to, trying to find a way to capture his lovestruck son’s attention without completely scaring the shit out of you. 

“Jesus Christ, Pops!” Javi gasped, eyes going wide as he breathed heavily, his cheeks turning pink as he sheepishly shot his view away from his dad, now standing in front of you with a smug eyebrow raised, arms folded across his chest. “Maybe a warning next time, huh?” 

“I tried to. Several times. Dios mío, you two. You can kiss her all you want tomorrow, mijo, but right now, I’m in charge of taking you back, so you can let la novia déjala tener un momento de pez. (the bride have a moment of peace.)” He chuckled, shooting you a quick wink, your face equally as red as Javi’s as Chucho teased him. “Say your goodbyes and then get your ass in the car before I send Steve out to get you, or worse, her dad. Good night, mija, sleep well. Don’t keep him too much longer.” He snickered, giving his soni a few pats on the back before heading back where he came from, leaving you and Javi frozen in embarrassment. 

“Fuck me…” Javi whispered under his breath, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, letting his fingers brush through his dark curls, looking over at you with a guilty pout, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Listen… Not the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last…” You grimaced, the two of you letting your faces shift from uncomfortable guilt to snickering smirks, shaking your heads at Chucho’s impeccable timing. “Okay, as much as I don’t want to,  I should probably let you go before my mom, or even worse, Connie and Steve walk out on us too.”

“Very fair. Un beso mas, por favor (One more kiss, please).” 

Gently cradling your cheek, Javi’s hand slid across your jaw, his thumb swiping at the soft skin of your cheek as your lips met in a tender kiss, lingering just long enough to be interrupted by the honk of a car horn blaring from the driveway, desperate for Javi’s attention. 

“Something tells me they’re waiting for you.” You teased, pressing up on your tiptoes to kiss Javi on the cheek before resting your head against his chest, tangling your arms around his waist for one last hug before you said goodbye. “I love you, Javi. I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Peña.” 

“See you tomorrow, Mrs. Peña. I love you, too.” With one last kiss buried in the soft swept curls of your hair and a final squeeze in your embrace, making you giggle and squeal as he picked you up off the ground, shaking you in his grasp.  

With another longer and louder honk, Javi reluctantly made his way to the truck, making sure to give you one last look over his shoulder, mouthing one last “I love you” to tide you over into tomorrow as he disappeared to be whisked away by the dads and brothers, the only thing standing in your way of officially becoming Mrs. Peña was the one last sleep that brought you to your wedding day. 

While you were surprised, you couldn’t have been more thankful that the ladies residing in the Peña ranch for the night were insistent on making sure you get to bed as soon as possible, leaving you with an extra few hours of quiet, alone time before the big day tomorrow. 

You had triple checked you had everything ready and set out, and once you had washed your face, put on your pajamas, and checked everything one more time, you settled into bed, curling up into Javi’s plaid sheets. The familiar and comforting scent of him was still hidden in the bed, the smell just enough to help your eyelids slowly blink heavier and heavier with a soft smile between your cheeks. You couldn’t help but replay the image of walking down the aisle to meet Javi over and over again in your head, picturing his handsome, giddy grin greeting you as he took your hand in his, counting down the moments until “I do” becoming easier than counting sheep. So easy, in fact, that you had fallen asleep in a matter of moments, peacefully drifting to sleep as you waited to be woken by the soft glow of tomorrow’s sunrise. 

That’s why you were so surprised when you woke up to what you assumed was the next morning, wondering what time it was if it was still so dark outside, thinking you must have woken up an hour or two early out of anticipation. You rolled over, tossing in the warmth of your sheets to peek at the bright red numbers glowing on the alarm clock next to you. 

Well, it was morning, but 1:47 A.M. wasn’t the time you were exactly hoping to see. 

The first thing that came to your mind was shock when you saw the blinking red number flash in your face as your eyelids stretched open- how had you only been asleep for 3 hours? The next thing that came to your mind was something that you were not expecting- and that was pure panic. 

There was nothing about tomorrow that was making you feel nervous in the slightest. Everything was planned and ready, everyone was excited and happy, and most importantly, you couldn’t be more thrilled to finally get to marry Javi and start the rest of your life together with him. 

So why the fuck were you wide awake and anxious as hell? 

You let out a groan, stretching your arms above your head as your body tensed, tugging the comforter over your head as you forced your eyelids back shut, willing yourself to fall back asleep. You took a few deep breaths, scrunching your face in frustration as you could feel your body only coming more and more awake, your heart beating faster and faster as you realized falling back asleep wasn’t going to be as easy as you thought. 

Maybe I just need to go to the bathroom. 

You threw the sheets off your body, groggily stumbling out of bed towards the ensuite attached to Javi’s room. Not even bothering to turn on the lights, you forced yourself to pee in the dark, hoping the lack of light would trick your body into wanting to go back to bed, but it was no use. Getting up to go to the bathroom had only made you more aware of how awake you now were, anxiously pacing back and forth between your bed and the bathroom, trying to think of ways to help you fall back asleep. 

2:26 A.M.  

The new time you had found yourself reading on the alarm clock was now making your anxiety skyrocket, wondering how you had already been awake for almost a half an hour with no sign of falling back asleep in sight. It also didn’t help that your mind was now beginning to race, the nagging thought of trying to power through tomorrow, the most important day of your life, with only 3 hours of sleep only adding to your stress. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, your leg was bouncing in sync with your rapid heart rate, wondering how the hell you were going to get yourself any sleep before the sun rose. Letting your back flop against the mattress, you let out a huff of frustration, burying your head under all of the pillows on Javi’s bed, desperate to find any remedy to ease you back to sleep. You sat there for a few minutes, but of course, with it being of absolutely zero use, you were back to sitting up, looking around the room for any sort of solution to your sleepless night. 

Boring books. Perfect. 

Eyeing the shelf across the room, you grabbed the most uninteresting looking book you could find, quickly settling on the well worn copy of The Hobbit, based on sheer volume alone. Clicking on the lamp resting on the nightstand, you let the warm glow of the light illuminate the room, shadows dancing against the walls as you tried to settle back between the sheets, opening up the book and letting your eyes graze back and forth the tiny ink print. Even though you were taking in the words on the page, you knew for a fact it wasn’t even close to actually reading, glancing back and forth at the blaring red number of the alarm clock every 2 minutes, as if you were going to magically will yourself to fall asleep and make it morning. 

After a failed half hour of staring at the book, you now felt even more frustrated than before, feeling the panicked tears beginning to well in your eyes as the clock crept close to 3:00 AM and you were wide awake as ever. Burying your head in your hands, you could feel your chest growing heavier with each deep breath, slowly feeling like a pile of bricks had been set on top of you as you began to sob quietly, feeling the inevitable panic and defeat wash over you. 

You weren’t falling back asleep. 

As you rolled over to face the cold and empty half of your bed, you wished with every bone in your body that Javi was there next to you, able to pull you close and promise you that everything was going to be okay, and even if it wasn’t, at least  you’d have him there with you instead of the empty and lonely void of his dark childhood bedroom. 

At this point, the thought of even just hearing his voice seemed like it may provide you with some relief,  but the last thing you wanted to do was wake Javi up and have him suffer sleeplessly with you. But right now, it seemed like the only thing in the world that was going to make you feel any ounce of better was hearing Javi’s voice lull you back to sleep, showering you with reassurance that you’d be okay before the big day tomorrow. 

You sat up, wiping the tears streaming down your cheeks with the back of your hand, getting out of bed to nervously pace back and forth across the room, debating the idea of calling Javi as a last resort  for sleep before sunrise. 

The war of pros and cons raged in your mind with each anxious step across the worn, creaky floor, arguing with yourself about calling Javi at the ripe hours of 3:00 AM to cure your desperate need for sleep. For as terrible as you felt about waking him up, you found yourself quietly creeping down the hallway, closer and closer to the phone tucked away in the kitchen, your fingers gently punching the digits to his phone number and bringing the phone to your ear, nestling it between your neck and shoulder as you impatiently chewed at your bottom lip so hard you were convinced it was going to bleed.

You were in shock that you were in such a panic to the point you were about to wake up your future husband in the middle of the night, only hours before the day of your wedding, but what shocked you more, was that you heard Javi’s voice answer his phone halfway through the first dial tone, and he sounded just as wide awake as you. 

“Osita? Baby, are you okay? Is everything alright?” Obviously worried by your 3:00 AM phone call, you could also hear the worry and stress rumbling low in his chest as he spoke, the relief of finally hearing his voice bringing even more tears to your eyes as the reality of the situation only sank deeper and deeper into your conscious. 

“Javi, I- I’m really sorry, I didn’t wanna wake you up, but I- I just- I’m wide awake and I’ve been up for like, 2 hours and can’t fall back asleep and didn’t know what to do, I tried everything and I-” You paused, trying to stop the sniffling through your sobs to hear the muffled response on the other end of the line. “Jav, are you- Javi are you laughing?” 

“Yeah, because I can’t fucking sleep either.” He quietly chuckled, his admittance suddenly lifting a weight off your shoulders, realizing that you weren't crazy for being wired and wide awake the night before your wedding. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m not laughing at you, Hermosa, I’ve been up for a while too and I can’t fucking fall back asleep. I can’t believe that you’re up too.” 

“Wow, lucky us.” You snickered, smiling at Javi’s muted laughter through the other end of the phone. “I miss you, Jav. I wish you were here. I’m convinced that’s the only thing that’s gonna help me fall back asleep.”  You paused again, this time with no response from Javi, cocking your head in confusion as you listened to the rustling and shuffling from the other end of the line. “Jav? Are you there?” 

“I’ll be over in 15 minutes.”  

“Wait, what?” You responded, scrunching your brow, wondering if you had heard him correctly. “Javi, are you sure? It’s already so late and I-” 

“Listen, I would like to think it’s way worse luck for the bride and groom not to get any goddamn sleep the night before their wedding than it is for them to sleep in the same bed. We can just talk on the phone if you don’t want me to, but-” 

“Javier Peña, you better get your handsome ass over here ASAP.” 

The two of you quietly laughed to yourselves, feeling your cheeks warm in a soft smile, an instant calm flooding your body at the thought that you were only minutes away from having Javi by your side, knowing even if you couldn't sleep, your night would be a lot less lonely with him there with you. 

“Wait, how are you gonna get here without waking everyone up?” 

“Not my first time sneaking out, Osita.” You giggled at his response, practically hearing his smug smirk through the phone.  

“Sneaking into your childhood bedroom the night before your wedding? And they say true love is dead. Don’t keep me waiting, Romeo.” 

“God, you’re such a dork. I love you. I’ll be there soon.” 

“I love you too. See you soon.” 

As the dial tone went silent, you hung the phone back on the receiver, leaning back against the wall of the kitchen, letting out a sigh of relief, you felt the anxious weight off your chest lift, the racing of your heart shifting from stress to sweet solace.

At least if you weren’t going to sleep, you weren’t going to have to do it alone. 

Quietly, you tiptoed back into your room, carefully treading across the creaky and worn wood planks of the ranch floor to avoid squeaks, shutting the door behind you as you made it back to the bed, resting your head against the windowsill as you patiently waited for the familiar rumble of Javi’s truck treading down the driveway.  

It wasn’t long before the bright flash of headlights shone through the panes of your window, illuminating your room and casting shifting shadows against the walls, the crackling gravel crunching under Javi’s truck tires coming to a halt as his car parked along the side of the house. The gentle slam of the car door shutting made your heart skip a beat as you cracked open your window, peaking your head outside to see Javi’s broad figure sneaking towards you through the darkness.  

“Well, fancy seeing you here.” You snickered, gently pushing open the window for Javi, scooting out of his way as he hoisted himself up through the frame, letting out a little grunt as he flopped over into the bedroom. As he stood up, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, one around your waist tugging you closer to him, and the other cradling the back of your head as you rested it against his chest. 

You weren’t quite sure what it was- his familiar scent, his warm embrace, the feeling of home being wrapped up in his presence, but whatever it was, it had every single emotion that had been bubbling up inside you since 1 A.M. coming to fruition, instantly beginning to sob tears mixed with relief, stress and overwhelming exhaustion the second your head met the soft cotton fabric of the t-shirt laying over his chest. 

“Hey, hey, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m right here, I’ve got you. Shhhhhh, don’t cry Hermosa, it’s okay.” Javi whispered, pulling you closer to him, running his fingers through your hair and leaning down to press a kiss on your head, holding you while you let everything out. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t wanna spend the night before we got married waking you up at 3:00 in the morning just because I couldn’t sleep.” You muttered through your shaky breaths in between tears clinging onto Javi’s shirt, feeling the wetness pool on the cotton where your head had been resting. 

“Osita, baby, look at me.” Javi paused, peeling you off of him just enough to force your gaze on him, his hand now cupping your jaw while his thumb rubbed against your cheek, wiping away your tears to see his soft, sweet smile staring back at you. “I don’t care. I don’t care if you wake me up at 1 A.M., 3 A.M., whenever the fuck you wanna wake me up, because today, I get to wake up knowing I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I get to spend the rest of my life as your husband. I get to fucking marry you. I think that’s worth a lifetime’s worth of 3 A.M. wakeup calls. C’mere.” He cooed, carefully picking you up and carrying you over to bed, laying you in the sea of sheets and blankets before climbing in himself and nestling up next to you, his hand splayed along your back, tracing small circles with his fingertips while your arm draped across his stomach as you laid on top of him, snuggling as close as you could into his body. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, your warm breath tickling Javi’s neck as you nestled your face in his shoulder, the faint thumping of his heartbeat syncing with yours as your breaths became longer and deeper in Javi’s embrace. 

“For what, baby?” 

“For being the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Javi couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself, a smile spreading across his face as he looked down at you, curled against his body, watching your eyelids start to droop heavier and heavier with each blink, the telltale signs of sleep slowly beginning to wash over you the moment you were finally snuggled up next to him. It was as if your brain and body knew all you needed was to have him beside you to send you off into slumber. 

“Thank you for making me the luckiest man in the world.” 

Even as you felt yourself starting to drift in and out of consciousness, you could still feel the heat creeping through your cheeks, a soft smile pursed between your lips, wrapped in the warmth of Javi’s body pulling you closer. 

“Can you believe we’re getting married tomorrow?” 

“Even better, Hermosa, we’re getting married today.” 

“I keep forgetting it’s way past midnight at this point, holy shit. Happy wedding day, you goofball,” You paused, letting a prolonged yawn escape from your mouth before letting your eyes fall all the way shut, “I wouldn’t wanna spend the rest of my 3 A.M.’s with anyone else but you. Te amo, Javi.” 

“Te amo más, Osita. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Even when we’re old and gray and I have saggy boobs?” You giggled, another yawn disrupting your sleepy laughter as Javi gently shook you in his grasp, lovingly rolling his eyes at your remark. 

“Especially when we’re old and gray, no matter how saggy your boobs are.” 

“You’re about to make a life long commitment here, Jav, you gotta love me when I’m old, senile and saggy, no backin’ out now.” You teased, only making the two of you snicker more. 

“I will love everything about you for as long as I live, pendejo, saggy boobs and all.”  

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” 

A promise that had granted you permission to finally put your body at ease, sleep washing over you in soft and rolling waves with each inhale and exhale pressed against Javi’s chest, slowly fading into slumber without even realizing. 

It wasn’t until the golden glow of sunrise began to spill through your windows that you found yourself stirring once again, squinting at the beaming rays bursting into your room and willing yourself awake, flooded with relief that it wasn’t the dead of night that had greeted you. Rolling your shoulders and stretching your limbs, you forced yourself through your sleepy fog, shifting over to face Javi’s side of the bed. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Thank God it’s actually morning. Jav? Javi?” Flopping over, you woke to find Javi’s space empty, his broad frame and sleepy smile nowhere to be found to kiss good morning and greet. Sitting up, you peeked across the room to find the bathroom empty, and the window you had left open last night closed shut, Javi’s truck no longer parked in the driveway, disappearing like a thief in the night. Looking back over at the tangled sea of sheets left on his side of the bed, a bright yellow post-it note caught your eye, carefully placed on top of his pillow, taking his place in his absence. 

Reaching over with another yawn and stretch, you carefully picked up the paper, hovering it over the goofy grin on your face that had made its home there the second you had seen Javi’s scratchy writing scribbled across the bright yellow note. 

Morning Hermosa, 

Sorry I left without saying goodbye, figured it was easier if I was gone before everyone woke up and spare us the grief of everyone giving us shit for spending the night together. I know you’re sleeping good because I woke up 3 inches of bed and barley any sheets, since you were buried in a nest so deep I’m convinced you were hibernating. 

Even when you steal all the blankets, I couldn’t be more thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my heart, my soul, everything I never knew I need and am so glad I found. I can’t stop thinking about how beautiful you’re gonna look today. How lucky I am that you’re gonna be my wife. I love you so much, Osita. Till we’re old and gray.

Let’s get fuckin’ married, baby

-J

What you were convinced were the first of many tears today beginning to well in your eyes, one little yellow post-it from your future husband had your heart already bursting at the seams. 

In all your years of life, there had been few things you had found yourself absolutely sure of. Life had thrown you more curveballs than you ever thought you could manage, and you had been more than happy to put yourself down and out for the count. That was until a tall, handsome stranger threw you the biggest curveball you could have never prepared for- that for once in your life, you were finally sure of something. 

You loved Javier Peña more than life itself. And today?

You were gonna marry the shit out of him. 

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild

[sunny44]

All these years (Part 1)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex girlfriend! Reader

Warnings: anxiety attack, fights, brake ups and maybe other things.

Summary: Separated by a disagreement, Charles and Y/n meet again after years apart and all the feelings they had repressed come flooding back.

Next Chapter

Having to go back to Monaco was certainly not in my plans.

I had sworn to myself the day I left that I would never go back, but I had never actually kept that promise.

His family lives there and I've never been able to stop seeing them. Of course, I made them promise never tell him that I was still visiting them and they kept their promise.

I know this because I never received a call or an angry message.

Charles Marc Harvé Perceval Leclerc.

My first everything.

And I mean that in the literal sense of the word.

My first friend, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, the guy I had my first time with.

But most importantly.

My first and only true love.

When I moved to the house next to them, we connected as soon as we were introduced to each other.

We never had many friends because we knew we had everything we needed in each other.

He was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.

But one thing about him was wrong.

His lack of understanding at times.

Charles was always a calm, fun guy who could make my shitty day 100% better.

But in March 10th, 2018.

That was the day everything we had went down the drain.

Charles was focused on getting his first year in Formula 1 off to a good start and I was focused on getting a job since I had just graduated from architecture school.

And I received the best offer a recent graduate could get.

It was an internship at an architecture firm.

The problem was that it was in Milan and Charles and I lived in Monaco and because of Formula 1 he wasn't going to leave.

I remember exactly the day I went to tell him excitedly that I'd got one of the best jobs I could ever want.

But Charles, contrary to what I thought, didn't have the best reaction, in fact he was very upset that the job wasn't in Monaco.

That's when our fights started, me because he didn't understand how important he was to me and an offer I couldn't refuse.

And him for saying that I'd ruined all our plans.

That day we'd had a bad fight, but the next day when I went to talk to him to try and sort it out, we fought again.

He said that I was the worst person he had ever met, that I would be a horrible wife and that our children would be ashamed to have a mother like me.

That day I cried so much that I had a horrible anxiety attack and had to go to hospital because of shortness of breath.

And he never showed up.

From that day on we never saw each other again, five years passed and here I was returning to Monaco for the wedding of Arthur, Charles' younger brother.

He and Carla were getting married after a year of being engaged and I remember how happy I was when he called to tell me that she had accepted and thanked me for helping him choose the ring.

I knew I would meet him there, I just didn't know if I was ready to see him.

Even more so in a situation like this.

"So, are you ready to see Charles?" Kika sits on the bed while I pack the last of my clothes.

"Certainly not, but what choice do I have?"

"You could have chosen not to go."

"I couldn't do that to Arthur, he was the only one who always supported me in everything, unlike his brother." I sighed, remembering him. "And I want to go, I want to see him marry the love of his life."

"I understand, and I know he'll love that you're going."

"But one day it would happen, we have so many things and people that keep us connected, so it took a while to happen."

"But you'll be fine."

"I know."

"Why are you getting so many clothes?"

"Because I don't know how long I'll have to stay there."

"What do you mean?" she asks confused.

"Because my father always convinces me to stay longer than I want to."

"I see."

"Well, I have to go soon, it's a long drive to get there."

We said goodbye and I got straight into the car and started driving there.

It was going to be a long trip.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername Instagram stories

“Road tripping to Monaco”

Who wants to be on the tag list of these new story? I've already got it all written so I plan to post a chapter a day until it's finished.

[ibetonlosinghuskies]

patience and pleasure pt 5

summary: the morning after the party, paige and azzi grapple with their feelings. as they navigate the aftermath of their shared moment, both struggling to read each others' emotions and define their relationship.

cw: fluff, slight angst.

disclaimer: everything i write is fictional, any and all similarities to real life is not intensional.

word count 4.7k +

author's note: ik yall are fed up with my melodramatic ass i’m sorry 😭

paige's pov:

the morning light through my blinds is harsh and telling. the events of last night flood my mind. slow dancing in the street, pleading her to hear me out.

i remember everything.

the hurt in azzi's eyes, gentle and hopeful. her kiss on my forehead felt more like a goodbye than anything else. a rush of embarrassment courses through me. all my desperation for nothing.

years of carefully towing the line between friendship and something more, all undone by my alcohol fueled vulnerability. this wasn't to say i didn't mean it, though. i felt a strange relief that night, even if she hadn't believed me, it felt good to finally get it off my chest.

i should text her and apologize.

my fingers hover over the screen, debating what i should say. what do i even tell her after all of this? i'm left without words, everything i've ever wanted to say, was said last night.

the words i want to type burn in my throat: "i meant every word i said."

but i can't bring myself to do it. the memory of azzi's pained expression, filled with a slight pity. her gentle rejection, while seemingly reluctant, stops me cold.

what if i tell her i remember and it ruins everything? what if my honesty costs me the most important person in my life?

my chest tightens, an anxiety builds between my ribs. and to make matters worse, i'm definitely hungover from last night.

maybe it's better if i just pretend i forgot.

the thought of denying my feelings feels like a betrayal—both to azzi and to myself. i've spent years hiding my feelings, making them smaller, more manageable. but now that they're out in the open, how can i possibly go back from that?

my mind races with possible messages to send her, each one feeling like a step backward. maybe this is what she wants? maybe azzi doesn't feel the same and was just trying to spare my feelings? give me an out, an opportunity to forget and move on.

she wouldn't let me tell her i was in love with her.

the phrase still lingers on my tongue, catching in my throat. i need to think logically here, but my mind is fuzzy and filled with what-ifs.

the next few days blur together in a haze of anxiety and embarrassment. every time my phone buzzed, my heart skipped a beat, hoping it was her.

i tried everything to keep my mind off of her. i spent hours on the court, lobbing up the ball. my performance was lacking, my body reflecting my mind. i ran drills until my legs burned and my lungs ached.

i couldn't outrun my feelings.

i prayed that god would save me from this. give me the right words, the courage to speak to her. i begged god to take her away from me if it wasn't meant to be.

every time i closed my eyes to pray, i saw her face.

i had a few days between the end of the season and training camp, so i went back home to minnesota. packing away all of my emotions in a carry-on bag. thinking that if i pretend to forget long enough, maybe i really will.

i can leave everything here, all of my mistakes, left behind in storrs.

i should be happy to see my family, especially after so long. i've missed them immensely, but as we greet each other, my mind still wanders to her.

"welcome home, paigey!" drew calls from the driveway, standing between my mother's legs. my heart aches, he's gotten taller since i last saw him.

"hi guys," i greet them both, my voice steadier than i felt. they helped me carry my bags into the house. it came naturally to them, after years of supporting me through tournaments and travel. but this time was different. this time, they were carrying more than just clothes and basketball shoes.

deep within those zippers—the heartache, the regret, my unspoken truth. everything i tried to leave behind.

the weight of my baggage laden on my family's shoulders.

the rest of the day, we fall into a familiar rhythm. mom's home-cooked meals, drew's relentless teasing, the comfort of my childhood bedroom. it was easy to slip back into the role of their little girl, a hometown prodigy, untouched by my mistakes of today. it's almost enough to make me forget about everything.

but during family dinners, i'd zone out, wondering what azzi was doing. checking her socials, even though i knew she wouldn't post. was she thinking of me? did she miss me? was this killing her too? i felt guilty for being so absent-minded from my family but i couldn't stop it.

they're my family but azzi was my home.

i went to bed feeling heavy. our days of no contact burdening my heart. it's the worst at night; i haven't been able to sleep much.

the darkness of my childhood bedroom felt suffocating. the walls closing in on me with the momentum only fear brings. my sheets tangle between my legs as i toss and turn. the bright red numbers of my alarm clock taunt me, blinking with expectation.

2:17 AM. i stared at the ceiling. my room so dark, i couldn't tell if my eyes were open.

i miss her voice.

the way she'd whisper to me in the dark of my bedroom. her words like a blanket, soft and heavy.

3:34 AM. i grab my phone, scrolling through our last text. my thumb twitches over her contact.

i miss her touch.

the calmness she carries in her fingertips. the way she ordered my body with just the stillness of her hands.

4:22 AM. i tuck my knees into my chest, burying my head between them. without her, i feel like a kid again.

i miss her eyes.

a knowing spark that glistened at me occasionally, cutting through her poised resolve. the way her eyes lightened when it caught flickers of sunlight, my little pool of honey.

caught in the small space between her eyelashes, i drifted to sleep. it'd only been an hour or two when i heard my phone ding. reflexively, my heart races, hoping it's her.

i reach for my phone, my heart stopping for a moment as i read the text. 

surprise hits me first. azzi's family had always been like a second family to me, but her timing is insane.

then comes a wave of dread. would it be weird? azzi and i haven't spoken in three days, not that i've been counting. our last interaction burned in my mind. does azzi even want me there? had she told her parents what happened?

hope flutters in my chest. maybe this is a chance to mend things, to be normal for a night. the thought is interrupted by a creeping sense of doubt in my gut.

what if azzi doesn't even know i'm invited?

my fingers hover over the keyboard. part of me wants to accept immediately, desperate for any connection to azzi. but another part of wants to decline, to shield myself from confrontation.

as a middle ground, i like the message. giving myself time to debate my decision. this dinner invitation feels like a crossroads. whatever i decide, it could change everything. again.

azzi's pov:

the familiar creek of the third step on the staircase takes me back. my grandparents' house held a special place in my heart. maybe it was the cozy 70's bohemian style that carried through their decor.

maybe it was the fact that it's only twelve minutes from paige's house.

i've been waiting for her to reach out first. after that night, after everything she said, i didn't know where her head was.

god, i feel awful.

i let my fear shut her down. i should have let her finish, should've told her i feel the same. she tried to tell me she's in love with me, words i'd been dying to hear since we were fifteen.

i tried to keep my mind off it, but the guilt was eating me alive. i threw myself into anything else, impatient to relieve this feeling.

i spent hours with my headphones on, letting the music drown out my thoughts.

but every song was about her.

the lyrics distorted to say her name, echoing through the cavern of my heart. i heard her soft breath between beats, real and steady. guitar chords mimicking the hum of her content.

when the silence became too much, i read for hours. clinging to the words on the page, desperate for them to take me away from this reality. i'd almost finished two whole books in the span of three days.

but every story mirrored our own.

i was living between the pages of my favorite romance novels. the missed connections and unspoken tension, all much too real to bring me any comfort.

every distraction felt hollow in comparison to my guilt. a persistent shadow, clouding everything i do.

the happiness that i used to find so easily, died on her lips that night.

the afternoon sun filtered through my curtains, i set the table, getting ready for dinner.

"azzi?" my mom calls from the kitchen while washing the dishes. "i was thinking you and grandma can make some of those chocolate chip cookies paige loves," her voice nonchalant.

my heart flutters when i hear her name, and before i can say anything, she continues. "i invited her over for dinner tonight," she says smiling.

paige. here. tonight. as in a few hours from now, tonight.

"what?" i choke out, my mind racing.

my mom misreads my panic for excitement. "i've missed her, you remember all the summers she's spent here," she says, looking back down at the dishes.

how could i possibly forget?

i sprinted back upstairs, my thoughts spinning. she was going to be here. sitting at my dining room table, looking as beautiful as always. after everything that happened.

i imagined all the different ways tonight could go. what if she doesn't want to see me? what if i ruined everything?

i hope she meant everything she said.

my thoughts shifted to my appearance. if tonight really was going to be the night i finally open up to her, i needed to look nice. i tear through my closet, clothes littering my floor.

i settle on a soft pink sweater. she once told me she liked the fabric, she'd run her fingers down my spine melodically.

maybe she'd reach out to touch me tonight.

my hands shake slightly as i apply my mascara. i fan out my eyelashes, i wanted her to look at me. when i get to my lipgloss, i'm reminded of her. all these little moments we'd share, carried a new heaviness after her confession. i dab a bit of concealer under my eyes, hoping to create an illusion of peace i don't feel.

i stare at myself in the mirror, imagining finally meeting her eyes. rehearsing what i might say to her.

"i'm sorry. i should've let you finish. i feel the same way."

the words blend together in my head, like a mantra. i'm going to get it right this time.

i take a deep breath, attempting to steady my heart rate. tonight could change everything, for good this time. if she remembers, if she still wants me, i'm hers.

i'll tell her everything.

i hear a car door slam outside. she's here. a combination of fear and hope stirs in my stomach. we can make things right.

i run down the stairs to open the door. our eyes lock, and my world falls away from me. there's a flicker of recognition in her eyes, looking just as vulnerable as she did that night. her lips parted slightly, the ghost of her confession haunting her expression. her eyes soften, just for a second, before she catches herself.

"hey, az," she says, her voice a little too casual. "it's been a while."

we hug awkwardly, our bodies stiff with the burden of unspoken words. "yeah," i say into her shoulder. i'm upset with myself, i still can't find the words.

instead, i just hold her a bit tighter. a firm grip on her shirt, i feel her heartbeat race against my chest. for a moment, i think she might pull away, but then i feel it—her finger, tracing down my spine, dancing over my vertebrae through the soft fabric of my sweater.

just when i begin to melt into her touch, she pulls back, holding me at arm's length. when we part, there's a soft pink flush in her cheeks that wasn't there before. she flashes me an awkward smile, raising her eyebrows slightly, before leaving to greet my family.

does she remember? is this her way of telling me?

we held on for a moment too long, our embraces lingering past the point of a casual greeting. i'm left standing right where she left me, my skin still tingling where she'd touched. the motion of her fingers, like morse code on my spine, a message i'm desperate to decode.

i watch as she effortlessly charms my family, slipping back into the role as their favorite. the floor buzzes underneath my feet with an undercurrent of tension.

paige belongs here, she always has.

at dinner, we sit next to each other, our elbows almost touching. i swear these chairs were not this close together when i set the table.

as everyone settles in, an uncomfortable silence falls upon the table. i catch my dad shooting my mom a look, gesturing for her to say something. she returns the look, annoyed, then looks down at her plate. she opens her mouth to speak but my grandma cuts her off.

"azzi, honey, you never bring any nice boys around. haven't met anyone special yet?" she smiles between mouthfuls.

boys? huh.

paige nearly chokes on her food, a smirk flickering across her lips. regaining her composure, she glances at me, holding in a laugh. her eyes are wide, filled with anticipation, eager for my response.

she can't help herself, chiming in, "yeah, azzi. no cute boys catching your eye?" her voice drips with mock innocence. i catch her tongue rolling against the inside of her cheek, a gesture of pure arrogance. she tilts her head to the side, eyes searching my face.

god, she looks hot when she's being cocky like this.

"i been...busy. you know how it gets in college," i avoid her eyes, careful not to let my thoughts show. but inside, i'm screaming.

i do have someone special. she's sitting right next to me.

my grandma doesn't let up, clearly amused by the topic. "come on, a pretty girl like you? what about that nice boy from the men's team?"

i feel a heat burn through my face, spreading down my neck. i bounce my leg anxiously, trying to find a way to change the topic.

she continues, "i'm just saying, honey. love is a beautiful thing." her eyes shift to paige now. "you shouldn't let it pass you by," she examines our response.

i look up to meet her eyes, attempting to speak up again, when i feel it suddenly. paige's hand rests on my thigh, a bit higher than my knee, slowing my nervous shake to a stop. the placement feels almost suggestive, more intimate than our usual touch.

my breath catches for a moment, and i become aware of the warmth of her palm against my skin. she speaks with her hands, for the second time tonight, stroking her thumb in a sweet, yet somewhat possessive gesture. she gives me a reassuring squeeze before speaking up.

"she brings me around, am i not special, grandma fudd?" paige interjects, pouting; her voice playful but sincere.

she speaks with intention and a hint of something—protection? possession?

my grandma's face lights up like this was the reaction she's wanted the whole time. "oh, of course you are, sweetheart." her eyes darting between us, "i've always thought you two share something very...unique."

the way she says the word 'unique' makes my stomach flip. had she seen it all this time? had everyone seen it? were we the last two to notice?

paige's hand remains on my thigh, a comforting weight. i cover her hand with mine, squeezing gently. a silent thank you.

the rest of dinner goes smoothly, chatting about old memories and stories. i'm desperate to know what's going through paige's mind. i notice the little things:

the way our hands brush when she passes me the salt, our fingers meeting for a moment too long.

the stolen glances when she thinks i'm not looking. the way her eyes flutter when i catch her looking.

how she stumbles over her words when they ask about our last hangout, avoiding eye contact.

the way she tenses up when our knees touch underneath the table, but she doesn't move away.

each moment is a contradiction of the last. her actions are a slow waltz—a push and pull between familiarity and distance. by the end of the night, i'm convinced she remembers. but something inside her keeps pushing it away.

i don't wanna pretend anymore.

after a few hours of this, i know i can't let this continue for much longer. we need to talk, really talk. and soon.

paige's pov:

"can we talk?" azzi's voice is soft and hesitant. my heart skips a beat, a familiar palpitation i've felt around her for years.

i nod, following her up the familiar stairs to her childhood bedroom. the staircase is lined with family photos, filled with memories i've been trying so hard to forget—or pretend to forget.

how can i truly forget when azzi's smile in these pictures makes my chest tighten? she's been missing from my heart for years, it swells at the thought of her.

azzi shuts the door behind us gently, my eyes scan her bedroom. it hasn't changed much, still leaking with her personality. her bedroom walls are covered in photos of us, a tapestry of memories.

i catch sight of an old film camera. azzi's grandma had given it to us right before i moved to storrs. the sight of it brings a rush of emotions from that night i'm not prepared for.

"you still have this?" i ask, lifting the camera. it feels heavier than i anticipated, or maybe i just feel weak under azzi's gaze.

she unravels me in just a few blinks.

her eyes soften, "yeah, of course. we used to take that thing everywhere."

my heart aches at the memory—taking the camera to games, practices, summer trips. i liked the challenge of capturing her beauty between tiny frames of film. though, no photo could ever truly capture the extent of her allure, i had fun trying. i'll always be her photographer, and she'll always be my perfect model.

"do you remember the first roll we ever shot on here?" i tilted the camera, my voice softer than i intended.

"yeah," she says, pointing to a set of photos on the left side of her wall.

i lean in to look at a photo of myself, mouth full of azzi's grandmas' cookies. i'm smiling at the camera, my happiness driven by azzi standing on the other side of the lens.

we were so young.

as i look at the photo, memories flood back. azzi watches my expression, noticing my composure change. "we captured some good memories that night..." she trails off, deep in thought.

like our first kiss.

that was probably one of the best decisions i've ever made. the memory washes over me, warm and bittersweet. the softness of her lips, the slight tremor in her breath. we were so young, so nervous, yet so sure in that moment.

it was simple then. our feelings existed in the small space between our lips, protected from the outside world. i didn't have to put words to the flutter in my chest or the warmth in my cheeks.

loving azzi was as natural as breathing, just as essential too.

i miss the simplicity of it all. i could love her without the burden of expectation. i'd prove it to her eagerly, in everything i did. holding her hair back when she drank too much. folding her clothes cause she hated doing laundry. reading her favorite books, desperate to understand her mind.

our love was in the details—the way she'd adjust my form in practice, save the last of her favorite snacks for me, read to me so i could fall asleep.

loving her has always been the easiest thing. it's everything else that's gotten so complicated.

i want someone, something to blame for this. is this just how things get as you age? the simplicity of love becoming frustratingly far away. maybe it was time, the pressure of sports, or maybe this was bound to happen. maybe we were always meant to put words to these feelings—to call it out boldly by it's name.

maybe it's time.

everything from that night reappears in my mind, this time under a different lens. the thoughtful box of memories azzi gave me that night—had she felt the same way all this time?

i glance at azzi, noticing a sudden change in her expression. she looks like she's just remembered something important, her eyes widening slightly. she starts to pick at her fingers nervously, avoiding eye contact.

"hey, paige?" azzi asks, still looking down at her hands. "did you ever finish that book i gave you that night?" her voice brimmed with nervousness. she radiated an emotion i couldn't quite place, clinging to my response like it will save her from her feelings.

i shake my head, feeling a little guilty. "not quite. i saved the last chapter."

i learned that from her actually. the way she cherished the things she loved, always saving them for the right time.

azzi's eyes light up, a mixture of relief and anticipation washing over her. "you should read it," she says quickly, her voice carrying an urgency that confused me.

she hesitates before continuing, her eyes closing for a moment in a long blink. "about the other night, when you said..."

my body goes cold. my drunken confession. i panic, the fear of confronting my feelings overwhelms me.

what if she's just trying to let me down easy? what if i misread everything?

"oh, yeah?" i force out a laugh. "i hope i didn't say anything too embarrassing, you know how i get when i drink."

i can't risk it again. i'm sorry, azzi.

azzi's face falls slightly, but she quickly masks it. her eyelids flutter, she stares at the floor. i can see the thoughts flickering through her mind. she sees right through me.

"no, no you weren't embarrassing," her voice lowering to a whisper. she locks eyes with me now, intent on making me hear her. "you were actually quite...poetic."

i'm no poet, i was just speaking from the heart.

i swallow hard, knowing she's giving me another opportunity. but i resist, remembering the pity in her eyes that night. "poetic, huh? that doesn't sound like drunk me at all," i joke weakly.

azzi narrows her eyes at me, tilting her head to the side. "you don't remember anything at all?" she questions.

i refuse to meet her gaze, "it's all pretty fuzzy, az."

i'm lying, and we both know it. but i can't bear to see that look of pity in her eyes again.

she takes a deep breath, clearly frustrated. she mutters an "okay" underneath her breath.

the sound of rain pattering against the window fills the silence between us. i hadn't even noticed the storm brewing outside, too caught up in the storm of emotions in this room.

"listen, it's getting late i should go," i say, my voice strained like i'd been screaming, even though i hadn't said anything at all.

as i turn to leave, azzi calls out, her voice soft yet determined. "paige, you can talk to me...when you're ready."

god, she's still so sweet to me. i don't deserve it, not now.

i pause at the door, guilt coursing through me. i know she sees through my lie, knows i remember everything. she knew the moment i stepped foot into this house. she could see it in the softness in my eyes, feel it beneath my fingertips.

"thanks, az," i whisper, before walking down the stairs.

for a moment, i'm tempted. to stay, to talk, to finally be honest. but the fear of getting rejected again, of ruining what we have, is too strong.

katie stopped me as i headed for the door, "leaving already?" she looks a bit sad. "it's pouring out there, why don't you stay the night?"

and share a bed with azzi? after that conversation, absolutely not.

"thanks, but i'll be fine. it's not far," i insist, grabbing my keys.

as i head for the door, i catch a glimpse of azzi's face. hurt, confusion, and something else—disappointment?—flash across her features. but i can't stay.

i step out into the rain, letting it mask the tears threatening to leak out of my eyes. my hands shake as i fumble with my car keys, nearly dropping them in a puddle.

i'm doing the right thing.

the mantra echoes in my mind as i slide into the driver's seat, but it rings hollow. i grip the steering wheel, willing myself to believe it.

i can't let my feelings for her get in the way of our friendship. i'd be selfish to put my emotions over our relationship again. i'd be anything she wants me to be—even if that's just a friend.

i'm doing the right thing.

i turn the key into the ignition, reversing out of her driveway. the intensity of the storm matching the turmoil in my heart as i drive away, leaving azzi and the truth behind.

i can't be wrong again. i can't bear the thought of her letting me down easy, telling me she doesn't feel the same.

i'm doing the right thing.

back at home, my guilt eats its way through my stomach. a relentless ache that promises a sleepless night. my eyes drift to my nightstand, where a worn copy of looking for alaska rests- the book azzi gave me years ago.

sometimes when i'd sleepover at her place, i'd pretend like i couldn't sleep so she could read to me. her voice soothing like a lullaby, i lost myself between her breaths. heavy and melodic, her cadence became my cough syrup, drifting me to sleep.

i flip open to the final chapter, determined to finally finish the book. memories flood back, the way her words coated my thoughts, i can almost hear it now, as i start to read.

i've put this off for so long. terrified of the ending, the finality of a precious memory between azzi and i. saving the final chapter for the right moment. maybe that moment is now.

as i turn the last page, a small slip of paper flutters out. simple yet somehow charged with potential. i unfolded the paper, recognizing the handwriting immediately.

azzi.

my heart pounds as i begin to read. the first few words hook me in, something all too familiar. my breath quickens, my lungs expanding like i'm breathing for the first time.

i didn't need to find the words, she already had. years ago.

by the time i finish, my hands are shaking. the room spins slightly. in a strange paradox of emotions. her words lifted a weight from my chest, stirring a whirlwind of emotions. yet simultaneously, a new weight settles on my shoulders—the gravity of what i need to do now.

how long had this been there? sitting on my nightstand, packed in a suitcase, tucked into a bookshelf. how many times have i almost read this, almost known?

i guess we've both been hiding something.

i leaped from my bed, grabbing my keys, slamming the door behind me. i was exhausted seconds ago, but now, sleep is the furthest thing from my mind. i need to see her. to talk to her. to make it real.

we've wasted too much time already.

[warping-realities]

Making Amends (Repost)

Eric Campbell wasn't sure where his life had taken this turn. But if he had to pick a moment, it would be the one when he revealed to his high school best friend, Ryan, that he was gay and in love with him.

Ryan, although receptive to his friend's sexuality, refused any interest in him and from that moment on the friendship cooled down. The situation worsened when Ryan started dating Vanessa, a classmate for whom Eric had no sympathy and who, upon discovering his secret, decided to make his life a real hell. Telling the whole school the truth about his sexuality, which made Eric move to another city.

Between a shaken friendship with someone who was moving and a relationship with a girl who soon revealed she was pregnant with his child, Ryan opted for the second option. And for more than 20 years the two friends did not see each other.

With the sudden death of his father, the only living relative he still had, Eric was forced to return to his hometown to organize the house and the few assets he inherited. Which put him back in proximity to his old friend, today a successful lawyer, who ironically lived on the same block, along Vanessa and their son, who was spending his college vacation at his parents' house.

While Ryan kept the lean body and the long shiny hair that he was so proud of since his youth, Eric accumulated excessive weight, due to the long hours working as a graphic designer, a lot of fast food, and a complete lack of exercises, which associated with his scruffy beard and messy red hair gave him an unkempt look.

It's not that his life was horrible, his career guaranteed him financial stability to live comfortably. But it wasn't a happy life either, as his youth experiences prevented him from having any meaningful relationships and raising a family. And that's what he thought as he slowly fell asleep while watching porn videos, lying on the couch at his parents' old house.

....

“Hello son” Eric got scared when he heard his late father's voice. Looking around he found himself sitting on the same room he had fallen asleep on but with the body and appearance of when he was 18 years old.

“Dad..? But you passed away..”

“Yes, I'm dead, son. But that doesn't mean I can't do something to make amends with you.”

"Make amends? What do you mean?

"The truth is, I didn't support you when I should have, even though I knew I could have done so much more for you than I did. All because deep down I couldn't accept and love you for who you are... but no more. Tomorrow when you wake up you will receive the first of my gifts, after that I want you to go to your old friend Ryan's house to receive the remaining!”

….

It was a strange morning for Ryan, first he woke up alone in his bed, with the odd feeling that someone should be lying next to him. What didn't make the slightest sense, that side of the bed had been empty for over 15 years, when Vanessa, his ex-wife, had abandoned him, leaving him to raise the couple's son, Jacob, alone. Thinking about it made his head hurt, giving him a feeling of unreality.

Speaking of unreality… Ryan was at that very moment sitting across from his old school friend, Eric, who had decided to pay a visit, while he awaited the outcome of his father's probate process. But this Eric was very different from the image he had in his head, acquired by seeing the photos posted on the other man's Instagram, which he had discreetly followed in an embarrassed way over the last few years, thinking with regret of his actions in the last year from school.

The Eric sitting across from him was a fine specimen of a man, with well-developed gargantuan sized muscles, a perfect face and very well-groomed hair. Contrasting with the obese and careless figure that insisted on appearing in the back of his head.

“So, where's Jake? You know I love that boy.” Eric said with a smile on his face.

"He must be in his room getting ready for the day" Ryan replied without thinking. But soon a question came to his lips

“What do you mean with “love”? When did you see him?”

“Yesterday, and the day before, and in all the holidays he spent with me since his childhood.” Eric answered with a smile.

"I do not know what you're talking about. Jacob never spent a day with you.”

“Did you hit your head somewhere, Ry? Jake has spent more time at my house than his own since Vanessa left. You decided it was better for him to stay with his godfather than a nanny.”

“I… I… don't…” Ryan stammered. As consternation came over his face.

“Ry, is everything okay? Now you really worried me.” Eric replied with concern.

It was then that hazy memories surfaced in Ryan's mind. He leaving Jacob as a child at his friend's house, the three walking on a beach, a video sent from an old cell phone, showing Jacob holding a tooth and laughing with a toothless smile while Eric's laughter could be heard in the background.

“I, yes, yes. I don't know how I could forget about that, Red"

The old nickname returning to Ryan's lips as if had never left.

“But I don’t understand, you left a long time ago…”

“Yes, Ry, but I came back when my best friend asked me to help him raise his son”

“Sure, sure. - That made sense, didn't it? "For which Jacob and I will be forever grateful," he concluded.

“There's no need to thank me, ever, I did everything with the greatest pleasure, I love the little devil, and speaking of him, it seems he's not so little anymore. Have you been working out, Jake?” Eric said looking at the skinny dark haired young man who entered the room at that moment. Which in turn replied somewhat disconcerted:

“Humm, no…not really. But… who are you?"

“Jacob, this is no way to talk to Uncle Eric””

“Uncle… Eric … ? what the fuck, dad?

“Jacob, what language is that? You may be a grown man now, but inside my house you won't treat an old friend like that, apologize, now!"

"But, but…”

“Leave the kid alone, Ry. He was always hot-blooded. And he was always a smartass to. I'm sure it's some joke, isn't it, Devil?"

"I don't know what… "- Jacob started to say, but stopped at the same moment when he noticed his father's stern look. “Yes, a joke of course, Uncle…?”

“Hahaha, and he continues! Always the same devilish boy, even though he's a man now, and what a man, look how big you are kid, look at that musculature!”

Both Jacob and Ryan were unable to understand Eric's comments, Jacob had been a quiet and serious child, a behavior he maintained until adulthood, in addition to that he was always averse to physical activities, preferring to pursue academic achievements, as well as his father, which translated into a thin body for life. But those memories began to blur and mix with those of a mischievous boy, given to pranks, who from an early age practiced all kinds of sports.

"Ah, sit here beside me boy, I want to know everything you're up to in college, you must be the terror of the sororitys, and the fraternities too..." - Eric said with a wink, as he pulled Jacob making him sit down up next to him on the couch.

“Hum, I don't know… I don't know… - said Jacob with a feeling of anguish in his chest and a mess of discordant thoughts and memories in his head. From spending his days diligently studying in the college library, except when he was playing chess with friends, to memories of spending his days diligently training in the gym and his nights going to parties, always ending up accompanied by a beautiful woman... or man.

"Calm down little demon" Whispered Eric in the boy's ear, who finally relaxed his shoulders and smiled. “Dad is here and everything is going to be okay.” He concluded, enveloping the boy in a hug and giving him an affectionate and long kiss on the head.

Seeing the scene Ryan thought that was too much and got up with the intention of separating the two.

“Hey…” he started to say. But his head began to hurt intensely, with the objects spinning around him, and the last thing he saw before falling to the ground was Eric's smiling face, as he caressed Jacob's head leaning against the man's huge chest.

…..

It had been a strange morning for Ryan. He woke up lying on the couch in the living room, his head a little dizzy, and with a feeling of strangeness with the environment around him, as if the atmosphere was denser. When he looked at himself he realized that he was wearing pajamas, but he remembered changing clothes when he woke up, but if he was waking up now…. would that have been the day before? Still confused and with his head throbbing he walked slowly to the kitchen thinking about having a glass of water while he waited for this feeling of strangeness disappear.

Upon entering the room, Ryan got a big scare! Standing behind the table was a red haired giant, half naked, smiling in his direction.

“R-Red? What are you doing here."

“Hey Ry. I'm sorry, my thoughts were far away. I see you're awake, I thought I'd take you to bed, but even with those arms I don't know if I'd have the strength for that, big guy!"

“Big guy?” Those words echoed in Ryan's throbbing head. He had always been skinny, but with time and a workout routine he had acquired a more toned musculature, yet being called "Big Guy" made something resonate inside him... but someone like Red calling him big didn't make sense, as the fact that someone was sitting in Ryan's kitchen, helping himself to his coffee, and worst of all, practically naked.

"Red, what are you doing here, and almost naked?"

“Since when are you a prude, Ry? And as for what I'm doing here, I'm making breakfast for you and that devilish boy. Did you see the time he arrived? I imagine not, since you were sleeping on the couch…. You'd think college would knock some sense into our boy's head..."

“Our…boy?” Suddenly Ryan had a flash, a image of Eric approaching Jacob, whispering something in his ear, his smile looking at Ryan while hugging him...

“Jacob! Where is Jacob.” "What you do with him?” He asked with an accusing tone.

“Calm down Ryan, boys will be boys, regardless of age. But we can talk to him, parent to child if that's important to you” Eric answered with a soothing tone, apparently misunderstanding the reason for Ryan's indignation. Who in turn was staring at the giant in front of him with stupefaction.

“From parent to child?” What do you mean by…” Ryan began to say, being interrupted by the entry of an attractive muscular young man with vibrant red hair, totally naked, exposing his muscular body, with a large pole hanging between his legs, swinging from side to side as he trotted to the kitchen table.

“Morning, dad…” - said the young man passing by him while stretching, making his huge cock swing more willingly.

"Dad…? What… how… Jacob??? What happened??? What are you wearing?"

"Hum, nothing?." Answered the young man. Bursting with laughter along with Eric. While Ryan watched him, who was nothing like the thin boy he knew as well as the back of his hand.

“Hey, Devil, where's my hug? Eric asked, approaching the boy and hugging him, not caring that the young man's cock was exposed.

“Daaad…” replied the young man, with mocked irritation as he hugged the other man.

That scene made Ryan's brain shatter into a thousand pieces, to the point where he stood there watching without being able to form a single word, dumbfounded. With his head pounding harder, as the sense of unreality heightened.

“What the fuck is going on here”? Ryan yelled as he finally gathered his strength. Nothing there made sense.

“What kind of language is this, father?” said Jacob in an unconvincing imitation of a strict father.

“Your dad is looking like a prude old man today, Jake. Frankly, he doesn't even look like the man I chose to spend my life with and father my child with." Eric replied containing a laugh.

That was the last straw. Ryan cupped his face in both hands, sighing in frustration. With the throbbing in his head finally reaching its peak as he blacked out.

….

Ryan woke up lying on the couch in the living room, with his head a little dizzy, and with a feeling of strangeness with the environment around him, as if the atmosphere was denser. When he looked at himself he realized that he was wearing his robe and couldn't avoid a strong feeling that he had been through this same situation before. Confused and with his head throbbing, he closed his eyes in an attempt to think more clearly. And that's when he heard a familiar voice.

“Good morning, Big Man. Soon the coffee will be ready, it's time for you to open your eyes to reality!”

A feeling of anguish and fear dominated Ryan's chest, with a voice saying in the back of his mind that it would be best not to listen to anything that person had to say, to get up and leave without looking back. But a second voice silenced the first one, it didn't make any sense to leave the house where he lived, the house where his son lived, the house where his husband lived…. The first voice tried to fight these thoughts. Tried to say that they were misleading, that something very bad had already happened to his son and that the same could happen to him. “Nonsense, said the second voice, Jake was fine and healthier than ever, after all he was lifting as much weight at the gym as Ryan since he came home for the holidays, although neither of them comes close to Red in that regard. ”

"No, no, Jacob didn't lift any weights"

“Of course he would, with a father like Red, genetics and true dedication together are the best combination.”

"No, no, Eric was not Jacob's father, I’m Jacob's father"

"Of course he was Jake's father, they both were, and it didn't matter that the boy didn't have his blood, he was his son, period."

"But, but…

“No buts, his fatherhood was as real as his marriage was real and he would like to see who would have the courage to say otherwise in front of him. He might not be as big as Eric, but he was far from a wimp, years of exercise and a strict diet had given him a body to envy.”

As those thoughts played through the battleground that was Ryan's head, the truth within them was manifesting itself on the outside. With the robe he was wearing fading out of existence and revealing the muscular body they hid, while his luxurious hair shortened and lost its shine and a stubble beard appeared on his face. Eyes open but without seeing, at least not this changing reality, lost while the world changed.

“Yes, he would very much like to see who would challenge the infamous Big Man Ryan in a dispute, after all his fame preceded him, both in court, where he was a defender of gay rights, and outside of it, where he had already been involved in some fights while defending the same rights.”

“Big Man… gay rights… no… fights… no”

“Yes, this attitude started back in school, when Red confessed to him his sexuality and that he was in love with him. That was probably the happiest and most important moment of their lives, when Ryan, as passionate as his friend, responded with a kiss, and the couple's fate was sealed. And anyone who dared say anything about it would have to deal with him, although at the time he wasn't yet "Big Man Ryan", running away from a fight was never an option.”

“No…. Eric… no… Vanessa”

“Vanessa, that bitch! A single night of thoughtless drinking on Eric's part after a silly fight between the couple and the viper took the opportunity. Bitch! But that night was why Jake was born, and Ry wouldn't know what to do without his little red demon.”

“Jaco… no… dev…”

“It was that wretched Vanessa who put Ryan on the path of civil rights. The bitch, revolted when she was rejected by Red, who committed to assume and take care of the child she was expecting, but not to marry her or have to live with her more than necessary. So she decide to take revenge, telling everyone at school and town about Ryan and Eric's relationship. Which in turn resulted in the biggest beating Eric has ever taken in his life. Upon seeing the condition of his boyfriend, Ry made a promise, which he still faithfully kept to this day: he was going to defend the man of his life with everything he had.

“N…. Nh…”

“It was then, at the end of high school, that the idea of law came to mind. Along with the desire and dedication of physical exercise. Ryan spared no effort to achieve his goals, including using anabolic steroids, after all, not everyone has the genes of a red-haired giant like Eric. The results speak for themselves, Ryan has grown to massive size over the years, though in return he has lost all the hair he was so proud of in his youth.

“N…. no.. no… YEAS!!

Again the exterior manifested the interior modifications. In an instant in Ryan's place stood a huge man, with balding hair, a graying beard, and thick, developed musculature, a match in size for Eric himself.

"And it wasn't just in size that they were a match for each other" The only voice present in Ryan's much less agitated head whispered. And that voice was not wrong, both men had a libido proportional to their height and wingspan, being known to break several beds throughout their married life due to their insatiable and uninhibited sexual appetite.

Closing his eyes again, as his posture relaxed as he accepted reality Ryan felt the last words spoken by his husband echo in his head:

“It's about time you open your eyes to reality, open your eyes to reality, open your eyes… open your eyes!!!

And “Big Man” Ryan, fierce defender of civil rights, amateur bodybuilder, devoted father, loving and warm husband, voracious lover… finally opened his eyes, stretched, while getting up and finally flashed a smile to the love of his life.

“Liking what you see, Red, you old pervert?” He asked with a provocative voice.

“Just admiring the material, and congratulating myself on the investment.” Was the playful response Ryan received as he walked over to meet his husband, while throwing his boxer briefs on the floor leaving his big cock free to swing happily between his legs.

“I think the best investment was mine. I paid for a red hot giant and got a wonderful lover, plus an amazing son as a gift.” Ryan said as he approached Eric.

“By the way, speaking of amazing, have I told you how much I loved that you grew a beard? But I think I prefer your hair longer, there's only room for one big bald man in this house."

“I thought you missed that head full of hair” Eric replied very close to his husband's provocative face.

“What I miss is this mouth sucking my dick and this cock in my ass.” Ryan replied.

“What language is this?” Was Eric's last comment before giving himself to his husband with a passionate kiss. And fuck madly on the living room floor.

And it was with both naked, one next to the other, lying down and soaked in sweat and cum that the couple's son found them.

“You know, some people would be extremely embarrassed to find their parents acting so shamelessly.” A comment made by a smiling Jake, wearing only his underwear, when he saw his parents lying on the floor.

“And since when are we a bunch of Puritans, little devil?” Was the answer he received from a smiling Ryan, while getting up after giving his husband a last passionate kiss and passing by his son and giving him a kiss on the cheek, not caring that he was walking totally naked through the house.

"I'm just going to take a quick shower and get ready for work, you two wait for me before eating."

….

Eric “Red” Campbell was sitting at his desk, after a family breakfast, thinking about life's reminiscences, when he was surprised by a soft kiss on his neck. With a smile on his lips he turned and found the manly but smiling face of his man staring back at him.

“Ready to destroy some bastards, Big Ry?”

"Always! I wouldn't be the infamous Big Man Ryan if Don’t break some idiots, would I?" Ryan replied. “But you know what I'm ready for? Round two! Get ready Red, tonight it's my turn to fuck this big ass.

“And why wait until evening?”

“Don't tempt me, Mr. Campbell.” Was the answer of a smiling Ryan while walking to the door.

Eric turned to the window and watched, mug in hand, as the fine specimen of a man that was his husband trot with steady strides across the front yard toward his huge SUV. With a smile on his lips he thought about how happy he was with his marriage, his son, and the direction his life had taken.

[brucewaynehater101]

What do you think would happen if after the end of the Brucequest, Tim didn't forgive the Justice League for not helping him.

Like maybe he forgave the BatFamily instantly, because to him not forgiving them wasn't even an option, but it was still an horrible year for him and he kinda wanted to vent at someone, so he basically said to the JL that since he didn't get any help from all of them at the worst time of his life, they shouldn't expect any help from him unless it's a world ending crisis.

He's not a main JL member so he wasn't expecting anything to change, he just wanted to get angry at someone, since he's not angry at all with his family, but at the very least before the end of the day he would get Young justice completely on his side

I've seen a few fics (can't remember them rn) that show YJ pulling their support of the JL after Tim's whole debacle with them. I heavily support this decision and believe it should have been the move they pulled. Part of YJ's founding and operation relied on the fact the the kids were not being supported by the adult superheroes. They found each other and, sometimes, only had each other to rely on.

After the JL demonstrated that they are unfit to take care of the younger generation by their mass lack of support to what they perceived was a grieving teen on the verge of a mental breakdown? Fuck 'em. YJ is better off without them. They were hands off anyways.

A cool aspect of this would be YJ's refusal to the JL showing the adults how the younger generation supported the JL. They ran all sorts of missions, helped with tech support, and generally did background maintenance (in a literal and more general sense) for the JL. It wouldn't necessarily devastate JL, but it would leave them unbalanced and scrambling for a bit.

It would be hella cool to see YJ and others in his generation deciding to be the buffer between the JL and heroes even younger than them (aka Damian's generation). They would offer the support and aid that YJ typically went without.

I do think that YJ would support Tim's decision, Cassie being a major proponent of it. If, theoretically, they others didn't pull their support to the JL, they would at least give the older heroes a cold shoulder and harsher attitude.

The difference between the batfam and the JL is the level of responsibility and relationships they have with Tim. The JL is a group of heroes that are supposed to do good. Tim probably would hold a harsher grudge against them because of this (what if they treated others they were supposed to save in the same way). The Bats are extremely dysfunctional, but I imagine they would try to make amends (except Bruce, but I also hate him, so...). Tim would forgive them because he loves them, he understands the circumstances they were under, and they tried to apologize.

Anyways, Tim should be able to save "fuck you" to the JL for the BruceQuest.