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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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ultravioletness · 1 year

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gay knights and dames collages part two

#gay knights #knightcore #knight x knight #arthurian legend #medievalcore #john william waterhouse #edmund blair leighton #lesbian dames #pre raphaelite #decidedly less so this time around #uuh what tags did I use last time #the other post really blew up this will be its less successful cousin #although there are some real gems in here not to brag lmao #anyways I was feeling so many knight feelings that I started historical fencing #again I did this on my tiny phone at work so be nice i know they’re wonky #the hardest part is finding head rotations that actually work #also since people mentioned a lack of lady knights nothing is stopping the ones in armor from being lesbians be creative

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bulkhummus · 1 year

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i just know he’d be insufferable

#and he’d be RIGHT #im not saying cecil wouldnt murder for the crown but— no i am saying that actually #hes a bitch #babygirl supreme <3 #you deserve it king #i love sans but unfortunately i love cecil more #cecilsweep #sans undertale #cecil palmer #sexymanotd #wtnv #welcome to night vale #art tag #this is prolly the last sexyman art ill make except for the one ill post to patreon #tumblr sexyman poll

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splatloafbud · 22 days

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THANK YOU SPLATOON 1 FOR CHANGING MY LIFE ❤️

#(this drawing's actually still a wip- but idk if i have the energy to finish it tbh)#ive been a splatoon fan & player since the very first game #i was there during the global testfire #and there for the first splatfest #i became hooked on the concept ever since it debuted in that E3 trailer #and man.... i can say so much about this game here in tags /pos #but it would literally last forever #thank u so much for the memories splatoon 1 #and for the inspiration during my creative journey #as well as being one of my sources of joy growing up #yeah i stressed out a bit during splatfests and online matches #but like MAN..... the enjoyment far outweighs the gamer anger LMAO!!!#goodbye splatoon 1 #splatoon #splatoon 1 #splatloafbud

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hellspawnmotel · 7 months

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remember when I did this?

well I did more

#deltarune #heathers #noelle holiday #kris dreemurr #pizzapants #susie deltarune #nooses tw #blood tw #suicide tw #hanging tw #death tw #art tag #first three were actually done a year ago but i never finished the fourth one until now #partially bc Background Hard but also i was like 'this might be too dark actually'#my friends were like its heathers of course its dark and then i showed them the sketch and they were like oh that IS dark #whatever its done i did it #ALSO this is important some people were confused with this last time: these are based on the MOVIE not the musical #like literally these are screenshot redraws from the movie but with dr characters lol #important bc since the musical makes betty and martha a composite character and in the movie theyre two different girls #and i wouldnt have put susie in the role of martha in the context of the musical. i probably would choose catti for that #and im also. not that fond of the musical. on the whole. for reasons #i do have like five of the songs from it on my showtunes playlist though LMAO #i may not agree with the story and characterization choices but i cant deny bangers #crossover

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fizpup · 3 months

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valentine, you're a horse ❤️

#my little pony #mlp g3 #wish-I-may #wish-I-might #ok so. I'm gonna ramble for a sec #normally when I post on valentine's day I complain in the tags about being single. but I won't this year!#I've recently realized I'm definitely somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. and that I'm perfectly content without a partner #in the past I've described myself as 'emotionally unavailable' or having 'commitment issues' but neither of those things were ever true #I'm a very loving and loyal person!#I've always been extremely affectionate with friends and family but unable to have the same level of love for potential partners #unsure if I'm just demisexual/demiromantic or actually aroace but I'm definitely not the default settings type of gay lol #I'm a big fan of romance and sex in fiction! but irl? 😅😬 idk about that fam! idk!#hypothetically I would like to have a gf one day and maybe fall in love but now I understand why that may not happen #or atleast is gonna take a while. and that's fine :)#tldr; if your top song on spotify last year was Cupid by Fifty Fifty it's time to do some soul searching lol #happy valentine's day!! 💕

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joshuamj · 5 months

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A continuation of my last post cuz I just had to draw the red life version, its also just so good.

#secret life #secret life smp #trafficblr #mcyt #goodtimeswithscar #josh art tag #a tad of the lineart on this is used straight from the last one #and some of the shading is reused but i had to redo that myself #otherwise its all new!#actually except for the wheelchair wheels i also reused those #anyway i hope u enjoy my goodtimeswithscar appreciation

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waveoftheocean · 10 months

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been thinking about brazil hinata recently so here he iiissss

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hinata shouyou #hinata #hinata shoyo #hq!!#my art #mine #i??? actually don't think i've ever drawn brazil hinata before????????#which is INSANE #THAT ARC HAD AND STILL HAS SUCH A HOLD ON ME #ahh...wish i could go back and relive the experience of reading the last couple of haikyuu arcs for the first time all over again #but also i feel so LUCKY that i was able to read them as they were coming out #amending my tags to add that i HAVE DRAWN BRAZIL HINATA BEFORE #literally the post i queued for his bday right before this one #facepalm #but this is the first i've drawn him in his beach uniform (i..think. if my goldfish memory isn't fooling me again)

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sinnabee · 3 months

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Congratulations on your new semi-permanent experimental position as the Official Daycare Assistant and Attendant Handler!

Now, you may have heard from a few of your coworkers that the Daycare Attendant can get a little... overeager, at times. But we can assure you that these are merely rumors, and should promptly be ignored - after all, the Daycare Attendant is always excited to start the day off with a smile!

Welcome to the Fazbear Family! We're sure you'll love your time with us!

And remember: you have nothing to worry about.

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theloveinc · 7 months

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Being the princess betrothed to barbarian!Bakugo.

You don't mind so much as you've always known this was to be your destiny, born merely to smooth over tensions between the kingdom and the country.

But your first meeting is hardly from ideal. The man shoves himself into your dressing room in trying to avoid the grooming his own mother is trying to give him, desperate to get away from the egregious, stifling rules the castle enforces regarding presentation, mainly putting on a shirt.

(He was born of his own parent's desire, but volunteered himself to save the country from annihilation via. industrialization, NOT realizing it would involve marriage. He's much less thrilled than anyone.)

And there you are, being (forcibly) sewed up into a corset that you're absolutely spilling over, your face matted from a layer of unnatural-colored powder, your lips stained the color of fruit that doesn't blossom for months as you turn to look at him in surprise (and then fear, and then confusion and question, your maids squealing before running off to get a guard)...

And Bakugo is suddenly made aware of this itching desire to save you, too.

-

(You're standing there, both breathless and bare; him voluntarily, you because of timing. And it's so oddly intimate for separate reasons; Bakugo's never associated nudity with sexuality and you've never been naked in front of a man before.

And despite the betrothal, neither of you know what to say, stuck in the midst of an "is this it?" moment, at least until Bakugo is grabbing your hand to whisk you away and marry you where he was born rather than in between castle walls.)

#bakugo #SOBBBBBBING #that last part is actually my tags but they were good and i thought why not put them up there #so i got nothing for here #except a separate image of going to bakugo's home village and needing to bathe #and he's the one to teach you how to in a stream instead of a porcelain tub #and he's teasing u about ur stress of taking off your clothes except he's holding your hand to help you get in the cold river #and he's so sweet and calm even if youre so cute when youre shuddering n your n*pples get hard #and its a realization for him too #ANYWAY #caitie post #gen

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illir · 4 months

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sherliam nyc life art dump 2023 (not including arts that already had separate posts in my blog) (unless i forgor)

warning long post

(↑ something super specific about sherlock's hair that i think of often)

(↓ 3 drawings below are connected story-wise)

(↓ morning routine for some reason)

(↑ based on this merch)

(↑ they're both the same)

i ended up not drawing as much as i did last year and i failed to be active here again (haha) but nevertheless thank you for your support in 2023 as well :) happy new year, i hope everyone is healthy and happy always