#it all comes down to her accepting and forgiving herself and finally taking the time to grieve her father and the life she lost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sepublic · 1 year

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Thinking about how Watching and Dreaming is a story about Choices, their relation to Change, and the Responsibility that comes with that.

It’s about Luz choosing to be a hero, choosing herself, choosing happiness in a world where she’s made any friends; The Titan herself tells Luz that he can’t decide anything for her, it’s Luz’s decision to accept his power and return to the isles to stop Belos. It’s Luz’s choice to be a Good Witch.

Choosing just one magic course? Luz has always been unique about choices in her own way, she can’t decide on just one thing if she can have them all; Hence why she studies all magic tracks. Why Luz maintains connections to the human and demon realms. Even her bisexuality could be seen as a meta refusal to settle for one; So it all culminates in her palisman String Bean, who represents Luz not so much being indecisive, but rather choosing it all. Choosing all of the choices, with an intent that really does make a difference to her nervousness from before.

It’s the Collector’s choice to become better, to let go of their anger and loneliness. It’s about choosing to change, something Belos never does; What makes him ‘irredeemable’ is not all of the heinous crimes he’s committed, it’s the fact that no matter how many times he is offered the opportunity to change, even be forgiven, Belos chooses not to take it. He refuses to change.

But the Collector does. And they’re rewarded when King chooses to give them Francois; And it was always about King’s choice, his decision that the Collector respected. It was never about having Francois, hence why they didn’t cuddle with Francois behind King’s back, rescued him from Belos’ grasp and returned him to where he belonged.

By contrast, the Collector’s control defies the ability to choose, because they decide everything for everyone. But he can’t force people to be his friends, it’s up to them, especially on whether to forgive. The students at Hexside are understandably scared of the Collector, and in the end, the kid can’t choose for them to be his friends; That’s something they decide for themselves, even if it’s the choice he wouldn’t have liked.

THAT was the Collector’s mistake with Belos; It was not compassion’s folly. It was that they assumed by giving Belos a chance to change, he would automatically choose to do so; In a sense, the Collector expected that choice to be made for Belos just by offering him the opportunity to take it. But it’s just a change, a possibility, there is no certainty. The Collector can’t make Belos change as a person, they can’t control him either; They can only hope, but never assume on his behalf.

Belos also chose things for people; Made them decide on just one magic track, and/or servitude to him. Insisted to Luz she ‘choose better’ by settling for humanity, took away agency through direct possession of Raine and the Titan. Both of whom fight back and regain some semblance of change and control but for themselves. In his final moments, Belos pretends he was a victim like them; Absolves himself of responsibility by claiming he didn’t have a choice, that he was forced to by his nebulous ‘curse’, and deep down he must believe God’s Destiny also spares him accountability.

But by placing himself at Luz’s mercy, it gives Luz the power to decide Belos’ fate; And she doesn’t choose ‘peace’ like Belos hopes, because like with the Collector, merely offering a choice does not make someone take it. Raine and the Titan still managed to fight back and decide things for themselves, as did Hunter, and so many under his coven. Caleb was under the same indoctrination growing up but changed anyway; Philip has nobody but to blame but himself, for being passive.

People choose to get better, or don’t; There are covenscouts like Tom and his group, confronted by Steve who chose to change and improve. And when offered the compassion and opportunity to do the same, they accepted; They chose improvement. Meanwhile, Coven Heads like Terra, Adrian, and Vitimir choose to stay the same. They don’t want to change, and it’s up to people like Darius and Eberwolf to prevent any more harm from them.

Alador chooses to change for his kids, because he misses them. He wants to be a dad they can look up to, and love. This is contrasted by Odalia, who bitterly stands off to the side; She could’ve chosen this moment to change, because it’s not like there were any other opportunities to pursue. But she doesn’t want to change.

And that’s part of theme of Choice, it’s that you have to choose to change, proactively and make it happen, or accept that change has happened regardless of your participation. When you have the ability, you have the responsibility, both in what to choose and the consequences that come. Philip didn’t want to face the consequences of his actions, denied responsibility. But people like Luz and the Collector and so many took responsibility; They saw they were hurting others and/or themselves, stopped and fixed the damage, and grew up. There is a responsibility to always offer compassion, even if you accept that people might reject it anyway.

Belos didn’t want to change, nor did he accept that times have changed; His brother is dead, there’s no bringing Caleb back. The human world has changed, he saw as such through Hunter’s eyes when the Gravesfield that indoctrinated him ultimately looked back on its witch hunting prejudice and decided that was wrong, admitted it changed.

Things can’t last forever, the Collector is convinced by Luz to accept change, not just in letting go, but also in learning about and acknowledging death. Just as Luz accepted her father Manny’s death; Belos being a cancerous growth that envelops the Titan, who is a father figure to King and low key Luz herself, is a metaphor for whatever illness killed Manny. By helping the Collector, a child who doesn’t understand death, Luz basically helps her childhood self; And by stopping Belos, she comes to terms with Manny’s death, and conquers her grief to move on and find a new future and a new family.

Because Luz and the Collector accept change, that means they don’t need to maintain an unnatural stasis; They’re able to wake up from their fantasy dreams by coming to terms with the loss of loved ones, for Luz her dad, for the Collector their previous Titan friends, and their fear of losing King. Belos, he clings to his dream of being a hero, and never wakes up, even insisting in his final words that it’s the witches who are evil, not actually him. Belos clung to the past of Gravesfield and his trauma, and was forced to face the now, the consequences that came afterwards with his sins, in the form of people actually alive and very angry.

But even with Belos’ death, the isles changed because of him, alas; The left arm has permanently risen, the geography of that area is drastically different and people must adapt. The Titan has finally, truly died, after he moved on, no thanks to Belos; No more of HIS glyphs, but there are King’s. So things change, and Luz accepts that; Even before King’s glyphs develop, the fact that she changed enough to earn String Bean allows her to survive this period of no glyph magic to rely on just fine, and build and plan a future around that.

There are still scars, like the literal ones of Luz, King, Eda, Hunter, and Raine; Or the emotional scars like the death of Flapjack, the trauma that everyone has suffered and is healing from. But because so many characters chose to change, and to accept change, they themselves became people so radically different, and so much happier for it. So when they all appear before Luz to thank her, to express gratitude for the compassion that enabled them to decide to change, and become new people for it…

It’s all about Choices. It’s about Freedom. It’s about Change, how you must facilitate and/or accept it. Control is antithetical to this, at least in application to others; But when you can control yourself and exercise autonomy, that’s wonderful. People like Amity, Lilith, Bump, Alador, and so many others chose to change and become better people, to create change in themselves and the world around them. Eda and King took responsibility for their actions, Eda accepting her curse was no excuse to push aside Raine, King becoming responsible with the implications of his divinity by rejecting them to be humble.

Luz changed people, and she never forced them to. She simply gave them the same choice that she chose for herself, and that’s beautiful. There is no Destiny that’s decided ahead of time for you, no God who decides your role in the world. There is no ‘Chosen One’, one for whom a decision has been made by someone else and thrust upon them, there is only One who Chooses. It’s all about deciding for yourself, and that’s part of the uncertainty but also freedom of growing up.

Luz chose to enter a foreboding shack. She chose to go back for her father’s book, to remain a weirdo, for herself and for Manny. And she chose to stay in the isles rather than go back. She’s been making choices all this time, deciding her own fate and as Eda advised her, what kind of witch Luz wants to be; A Good Witch.

#the owl house #luz noceda #the owl house collector #emperor belos #philip wittebane #meta #themes #analysis

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jymwahuwu · 7 days

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Last one was great!

Poor arrogant reader soon will be fired from her position as head of the Family for some fabricated case, she is now basically jobless with all her belongings and money arrested and guards are not letting her leave Penacony.

She is such a mess now, so stresssed out with her career ruined she isnt even noticing that she hadnt got her period for several months.

But who will she come for help, who will accept a mess like her at such low point of her life?🤔

Of course our angelic prick will take her in. Reader doesnt have a choice to be honest. She doesnt have money to pay for shelter, food and medical care for her condition anymore?

I also hc Penacony being really expensive place especially in terms of healthcare. And abortions are strictly prohibited.

Well, clean house, homemade meals and some other nightly services could cover those expences. Our arrogant girlie will have to humble herself a bit.

And kid being born out of wedlock? Not on Sunday's watch!

Imagine some time later her former coworkers, heads of other Families or her former subordinates witnessing reader going out for groceries or just going out for a walk with Sunday holding her hand firmly?

She does not seems like arrogant bitch anymore, her belly is swollen, clothes are modest, matching rings at couple's fingers.

so sorry for the long delay in replying!!

I've been meaning to find the time to write this... and thank you for writing it in such detail. super love the content about arrogant reader get humiliated. this is awesome 😽💗💖 sunday brings it all to you but you started it first, right?

part 1

cw: yandere, dub-con, brainwashing, mind control, housewife kink, pregnancy, inappropriate traditional concepts (language about serving husband and family)

Sunday used to always forgive your arrogance and intrigue, but that's the past.

Since you like this trick so much, Sunday brings these back to you. In this dreamy and fallen city, your reputation is completely destroyed in half an hour. (He was at the party, shaking his glass and socializing with the guests.) Some Bloodhound family guards burst into your office and led you away , in full view of everyone and a lot of chatter. They grabbed your hands and dragged you forward. (He stretched his hands into fists, put them to his lips and chuckled.) It was almost a crime of betrayal to Xipe and The Family. Listen to harsh words and sign documents. (The money ejected from the machine flies into the sky. The scale of the clock is turning.)

These days of interrogation have left you exhausted. One day, you open the door to your home with the usual verification, but there is a notice on the door that it has been sealed and frozen. That was locked and confiscated. A cold stab of fear stabbed your back. There is no way to book a hotel room or rent a new house. Your bank account is also blocked.

The final straw is the realization that you haven't had your period in months. Used the last of your credit points to take a pregnancy test. The result is a baby growing inside you. There was no doubt that it was that wing bastard's baby. A baby destined to have a halo and wings.

Your eyes were sore, and tears welled up in your eyes and flowed down your cheeks.

The eyes of birds these days are staring at you from every height, corner, and alley. Your pregnancy test results are sent to Sunday's phone. His glove patted your back gently. He whispers to you, the aura continuing to send out gentle waves, shushing you. You whimpered, pushing him away in annoyance. "Get away, you bastard!"

"I just did to you what you've always wanted to do to me. Don't make a fuss." The rising corners of the oak leader's mouth only added fuel to his raging anger at you. What happened to him? He's really terrible! You point at him and take a few steps back. "Don't fucking touch me! You hypocrite."

He frowned.

"No swearing."

"What the fuck-" Just like last time, a cheerful and harmonious arrangement of notes penetrated your mind. That ethereal and strange light appears before your eyes and captures your thoughts. You obediently followed Sunday to his mansion.

What Sunday offers you comes at a price. He provided for you, after all, didn't he? You can no longer be so arbitrary, arrogant and rude. You need to pray at the dinner table, kiss him on the cheek, and be grateful to Xipe and the nutritious food he provides you. Or have him pinch your cheeks and feed you. Now that you have no job and no money, you should have time to sweep the floor, right? Keeping the house tidy is important. He checked the dust on the vase and scanned the floor. Of course don’t forget to suck his cock and spread your legs at night. He will be very, very careful. (Sex during pregnancy is always slow. You whimper when milk is secreted from your buds.)

And witnessing that humiliation! Yes, in the past, you and he competed in the workplace, and the atmosphere was tense. Everyone knows you hate Sunday. And now other family members can see the changes in you. You held his hand tightly, intertwining your fingers with your belly swollen. Those luxurious clothes of the past have disappeared, replaced by your simple, loose skirts.

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #sunday x reader #yandere honkai star rail #honkai star rail x you #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader #honkai x reader

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romeavecryst · 12 days

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Fragments of Love ˖ ࣪⊹

K. TUSKISHIMA x Fem!reader ˖ ࣪⊹

Sum: Loving Tsukishima wasn’t easy, and eventually the fraction of love he gave her wasn’t enough to make up for his words anymore.

Warnings: Angst, toxic relationships, cursing, not proceed ofc!!

.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.

It was to perfect, wasn’t it? Sure she knew what she had gotten herself into when she began dating him knowing it wasn’t easy. But every couple has downs right? But one fight turned into one every week, and one every week turned into almost every day. They’d go days without having a meaningful conversation or even checking up on one another. The smile she once greeted him with slowly disappearing every time he saw her, she looked exhausted.

She was, she was tired of begging for his attention his love. The fucking bare minimum, why couldn’t he give it to her? Because he simply didn’t want to? ‘

‘Just leave him.’

She couldn’t, she stayed because even after the cruel words he said to her even after he got in her face even after everything. She came back to him every single time. Because he apologized.

He’d apologize, holding her close to him and tell her that he was sorry and he loved her. He’d show her so much love, because deep down he knew he was wrong for what he’s done.

That she never. Ever. Deserved the things he said yet he said them to her. He’d break her heart over and over again and she stayed. And everyone remind him that, simply tell him that he didn’t deserve her. That he took her generosity for granted, and that someday she won’t be as forgiving, that she won’t run back into his arms.

Their voices echoed outside the gym, they had been arguing all day and it finally erupted. Him complaining that she’s taking up his practice time, that he has better things to do then sit her and argue with “ a fucking-!”

“A fucking what?! A fucking what Kei!”

“A stupid fucking bitch!”

“Fuck you! You don’t care about anyone but your fucking self!”

He scoffed going back and forth with her, his face close with her as there screaming match became more heated. The sound of the gym doors opening being drowned out as they yelled. “You put your hands on her I’ll put you down my self.”

Tsukishima turned around quickly the feeling of his captains hand grabbing his arm, “like I’d fucking touch her.” He said.

Daichi glanced at his fist then to him “but you thought about it.” His voice stern. Tsukishima scoffed pulling away from Daichi walking to the gym, not sparing her a glance. As sick as it was she wouldn’t be surprised if he ever laid his hands on her, he’s punched walls and thrown things at her.

Daichis eyes met hers, her makeup running her eyes bloodshot. “Think it’s best you head home for the night.”

So she did.

And when it was time for his cycle to repeat, she stood there her eyes lifeless as she looked at him. Moving her head when he tried touching her face. Her anger was still fresh. Give her time. Give her time to come back like she dose.

Time was given and she didn’t run back into his arms, she didn’t accept his apologies. Days had passed and he was going crazy, the messages he sent being left on read over and over. Her never responding to them even when he would curse as her and tell her stop being dramatic in the voicemails he sent. He couldn’t stand how she avoided him in the halls like he was nothing. He was weak.

He’d never admit it would he that he was weak without her. It made him sick how dependent he was for her. Once two weeks had pass he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please.” A broken sob came from his throat.

“Go home Kei.” She spoke turning around to face him more.

Tsukishima was on his knees his head touching the pavement as he bowed apologetically, “I’m begging you please.” He cried.

He had finally looked up to her hoping there was something, even a simple frown in her brows. But nothing, she faced him emotionless. Just like last time. He’d sucked the last bit of life out of her, that when he finally decided to care it was too late. He wanted her to laugh in his face right now tell him how pathetic he was; crying at her feet like this. Yet she just stood there her hands tucked away in her sleeves her arms crossed.

“You used to make me feel good about myself, but now you make me feel like shit.” She spoke softly.

“Like I’m not good enough, or interesting enough-“

“I don’t think that..” he started.

“No shut up. Because that’s bullshit Tsukishima! You’ve told me yourself,” she scoffed. “Telling me I’m not good enough, that I’m lame, that I’m annoying that I’m unlovable.” She said her voice cracking.

His heart broke because she was right. He never had anything good to say, he’d done nothing but degrade her for months. That he was the cause of all of this because he couldn’t show her his love.

“I hate that it’s taken me till now to open my eyes,” no, no,no.

“Because I am enough. I am interesting, I am worthy of fucking love!” She spoke her voice stern.

She was worthy of love, yet he never showed that to her. He wasn’t worthy of hers, he didn’t deserve the chance she gave him. And she was going to leave him, this was what he was so afraid of. Trusting letting someone in. But how could he feel that what when the person he treated so horribly let him in so easily over and over again, he treated her like a fucking chore. Not his girlfriend.

“We’re done Kei. Over. I’m transferring, because I can’t be around you. I’m blocking and removing you on socials, don’t fucking reach out to me. Because with me leaving I don’t know what you’ll do. Maybe you’ll get a new girlfriend and treat her like a fucking human being.”

No, no he didn’t want a new girlfriend. He wanted her, she was leaving him. Leaving him for good. Moving schools so she doesn’t have to she his fucking face anymore. Blocking him so she doesn’t receive messages of him threatening and bullying her then begging for forgiveness. Over and over.

Broken sobs came from him as he stood up walking towards her, pleading her not to go. Just to give him a chance he’ll make it right this time. He promises. He promised to love her. To cherish her. That nobody could love him like she did because she was lovable. Because he was so fucking in love with her.

His head pressed against her front door as he begged her to open it, that he’ll make it right. A loud thud of his fist hitting the door as he cried. “Go home Tsukishima or I’m calling your brother to pick you up.” She spoke her back to the door.

“Don’t do this.. please.”

His brother had eventually picked him up with Yamaguchi and his father. When he got home he stood in his room phone in hand a message typed out to her. The message was green when he sent it.

“FUCK!” He yelled throwing his phone. Anger, was all he felt Anger and sadness. As he thrashed his room tears streaming down his face. He fucking hated her how could she do this to him. How could she leave him. That she made him feel so loved and she just left him. God how pathetic, she was a fucking loser, leave him? How could she leave him in so much pain?

“You’re actually joking me right…”

Tsukishimas eyes met his best friends. “What..”

“You’re blaming her.. how dare she leave?”Tadashi scoffed. Tsukishimas eyes left his looking over the others that sat with him during break Kageyama and Hinata.

The team stayed out of his business of corse but tsukishima brought this on himself rambling about her, because he was obsessed. Because he couldn’t admit he was in the wrong. That he was wrong, but how dare she leave right? Because it’s all on her.

“You ruined her.” The voice of the team’s manager spoke up.

Everyone looked at her, before Tsukishima could open his mouth she turned towards him “You ruined her, she let you hurt her over and over again. And she stayed. But when she’s finally fed up with your bullshit. When she became self aware of her self worth it’s selfish? Shame on her for wanting to be loved right? Shame on her for knowing she is so much more than you ever deserved.” She scoffed.

Kiyoko looked Tsukishima in the eyes “Thanks to you, she won’t ever be able to let anyone in as easily again, she won’t be able to feel loved because you tore her apart, you didn’t love her.”

“I did, I do love her. Fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He spoke standing up.

Kiyoko rolled her eyes. “You don’t, you never fucking loved her because if you did she still be here. If you loved her you would have showed her.”

“But you’re a fucking insecure loser.” She finished her tone filled with venom.

Tsukishima was speechless. Kiyoko was right, that if he loved her she would still be there. With him smiling, holding his hand. But she wasn’t.

He ruined her, ruined her sanity and self respect for herself. Shame on her for having an enough to leave him so she could fix herself. Because all of a sudden once she left once he knew he lost her he started caring. She wouldn’t let anyone love her in the way she deserved because of him, because of him she’ll create a barrier never to let anyone in again.

Because he only gave her a fragment of his love.

it’s very much ranting apologies.. listened to ceilings on repeat while writing this!!

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starberry-cupcake · 24 days

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We are done with book 1, folks!!!

previously, in gideon the ninth

this happened

also, I was proven right about dulcinea (kind of)

just pointing that out again

final update of this book, it's gonna be a bit of a long one, folks (gideon, from inside my mind, where she is now living rent-free: "that's what she said!"):

we left off in the fight against not!dulcinea

yandere simulator twin w/inner chad was being used as a battery pad

regina george twin is at an unknown location

la gideon and my qp wife are fighting

harrowcita passed out

so basically not!dulcinea unlocks the big magnus archives entity monster harrowbean had previously locked

harrow wakes up to make a bone dome

for scale, this is the dome and mickey is gideon, but she's inside the thing

magnus archives junji ito monster keeps beating the dome from outside to crack it open like an egg

harrowbean starts to disintegrate from the inside because it's hard to make a bone spaceship earth and keep it up

camilla is accepting fate at this point, my poor beloved qp wife

but la gideon is not gonna give up

she's never gonna give you up

never gonna let you down

never gonna...

so harrow starts making a goodbye speech

reminding gideon to take care of the ninth and the barbie in the freezer

for the barbie reference, please go to this recap

but gideon is determined to come up with a plan

*very niche reference but "bien warrior" by miss bolivia plays in the background*

we all know this is a terrible idea because gideon's plans are always "punch really hard" and, in this case, that's a wild thing to do

but she does that

a metal version of that

she decides to, if I understand correctly (because description is scarce for various acceptable reasons) impale herself on the iron spikes inside the dome, to force Harrow to slurp her soul

so this is the situation

absolutely heartbreaking stuff

she's sort of ghost-placing herself behind Harrow to guide her using the sword

like this

and being all silly and gideon-esque and harrow is heartbroken and sad and it's all very very heartbreaking and I'm suffering

I'm ANGRY, OK????

IT'S NOT FAIR

I didn't even like gideon at the start

I complained about her for like a good first chunk of this book

I got mad at her for being dense and not following through with things

I got angry at her way of approaching situations and trusting people I didn't trust

I didn't totally vibe with her vibe most times

and then she made me like her and grow attached and NOW I HAVE TO SUFFER???

what's the point????? you make me like you and then you SACRIFICE YOURSELF?????

WHY??????

footage of me

anyway, it's fine, we're fine, everything's FINE

harrow and force-ghost gideon defeat not!dulcinea by aiming at the "issue" palmolive started

( @lady-harrowhark "paramedics" is actually a much better nickname, why didn't I think of that)

not!dulcinea crosses the veil, hopefully forever, good riddance bitch, you really did fuck everything up for petty reasons

harrow passes out

afterwards, harrow wakes up in like a sort of hospital situation or something like that

the space version of that

there's a man reading stuff in a tablet and a paper

a "flimsy", which I didn't know was something before this book (again, not a native English speaker, doing my best here)

the man has very specific eyes which I imagined in a way that I'm not sure is what it's supposed to be, but I'm gonna keep my version for now

this is the man of the hour, the emperor, many other titles I can't remember, the reason we all got together in the first place

harrow is upset, I'm upset, we're all upset

emperor sama over here can't do shit about it

according to him

which, what are you, the wizard of oz?

he's also like "forgive not!dulcinea, it was my bad" I WILL FORGIVE NOTHING

he says he can't bring gideon back without risking harrowbean as well

very limited for a man who claims to be god

who seems to have beef with a barbie in an ice cube

idk about this guy

so he tells harrow that he's gonna protect the ninth if she becomes lyctor because the universe is going to shit and he can't handle everything on his own anymore

you know what could have helped, my man? COMMUNICATION

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT ANY GIVEN POINT

anyway, harrow is, at this point, tired and sad and grieving for everything so she says ok

according to this guy, the only other survivor is yandere simulator twin w/inner chad who is missing an arm

very convenient for him, who needs lyctors

an didn't, at any point, explain anything

but they "haven't been able" to find the bodies of: la gideon, my wife and regina george twin

everyone else was, at least, partially recovered, as far as I remember he said

they're probably gathering pieces of palmolive from every carpet and piece of wallpaper

I am reluctantly gonna miss that guy

so there is hope that I'm not a qp widow yet and that la gideon might come back in some capacity, which I MEAN, COME ON

also, I don't know if people would be making such a fuss about her arms if her body wasn't of consequence anymore

because I don't know much about these books but I did know that coming in, that and skull make up were my two clues

and we still don't know where she came from and if she's a demigod

and why her hair and eyes are that color

I don't know, I'm unsure about this

I hold hope

keeeeeeep hoooooolding ooooooon ♪

I am sure regina george twin will be back because people have been cryptic about her in replies to my updates

and I hope camilla comes back because right now I'm like a victorian wife, standing at a lighthouse, waiting for her sailor to come back from the depths of the sea, throwing messages in bottles

final extra notes:

THERE WAS A GLOSSARY ALL ALONG

I COULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT

maybe it was better this way, though, but WHY DIDN'T I LOOK PROPERLY

PALMOLIVE WOULD KILL ME FOR THIS OVERSIGHT

now I know what thanergy is, what thalergy is, what bone magic and flesh magic differ in, can you believe???

I can summon my own construct and everything

it's the only way to make friends as an adult, after all

there is a guide for the names and I have been pronouncing more things right than I thought because many of these are based in Latin and I'm a Spanish speaker so maybe if I had just pronounced them as they sounded to me I could have remembered more names

there is also a list of salseo/tea from judith

I kept making comments while reading them

she was acting like camilla was of no consequence from the start

ALSO PROTOZOA HAD KIDS?????? WHAT????

man, poor dude, rip this guy we never really knew

she did read chad for filth, which is correct

but they were off about absolutely everything else

important ending commentary of the book:

as an ending side note

I'm going to just point this out, with kindness and utmost respect

like, much love and respect and warm regards

don't kill me for this

as an editor

I am enraged with the tagline they have in the cover of this book, now that I've finished it

the quote that's in the cover about lesbian necromancers in a victorian mansion in space and whatnot

it sells the book incredibly short and also tells you things you shouldn't be told because a) they aren't as clear cut as they make them out to be and b) you should be told none of that entering this book

best experience is to know absolutely nothing

like gideon

and since I have an ebook, I see that quote more prominently than any blurb

it reads like the short summary of a fic and it doesn't do it justice one bit

now that I've finished the book, I think this post was about it and I didn't know at the time, because that's fair

this book is very difficult to categorize because it seems to be using a lot of different references and mixing them together in a very personal and unique way to the author

but, because of that, it's a very unique take on different things

I think it stands very aligned with both core classics and more contemporary foundations, at the same time

and the narrative point of view is a bit at-odds with the complexity of the lore, which makes it a very brave first part of a bigger thing for an author to throw out there

and it works, as it is

it actually works well like that

however, as difficult as it can be to explain it, that tagline really flattens it to something that I don't think favors how much more of that it is???

I don't know, that's just my personal & professional opinion, but anyway

I need to go find the next one

you haven't seen the last of me!!!!!

#luly reacts to tlt #gideon the ninth #tlt #tlt spoilers #gideon the ninth spoilers #gif cw #long post #trying not to do literary analysis at the end there #and editing analysis #for all of our sakes

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meowsequence · 1 month

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The paradox of white chest plate is solved!

Warning: 1) Heavy spoilers 2) Lots of text 3) My point of view may change later

Let's recap some "Fake Ending" and "Continue Game" events:

Elster enters the Gates and goes through red desert. Red is the colour of bio-resonance and Ariane's wrath and suffering, or, in other words - Hell. Loops are also part of Hell.

She sees many corpses which are not (!) results of "Leave" ending - these don't look like they died with inner peace, they are far from Penrose-512 and, most importantly, they are still in Hell. These Elsters just never found the Ship or didn't dare to come closer. Remember Ariane's "come closer" call?

This time Elster finally made it to the ship! But then she got injured by invisible strike. Invisible means bio-resonance and there is only one bio-resonant in Hell - it's very creator Ariane. She didn't forgive Elster. Red part of Ariane feels betrayed and who can blame her?

Despite feeling Ariane's wrath, which hurts in many ways, Elster keep going. She puts her hand on the ship and awful noise stops. She climes up Penrose-512 and tries to open the hatch. "Ghost in the Shell" reference shows that Elster does not care of her body, she didn't forgive herself neither. And she fails. Again. And she falls down dying. Again.

She's actually dead, just look at her eye at main menu! The tragic story of Penrose-512 repeated.

We chose to continue and we see memories of Elster and Ariane being happy (interesting detail - back window is blue here)

We coming back to Elster's dead body and see how Ariane's figure appears next to it. Then we see how Ariane's face blends into bandaged version. I guess we can read it as Aline taking over Ariane or it is Ariane's other side kicks in as she looks at poor Elster? The side that is tired of suffering and wants it all to end - the White (sorry, white won't be visible) colour side, aka what's left of original Ariane. (Is it a proof that there are 2 long-haired Arianes in the line-up, so either one of them Aline or Ariane has 2 sides?) And then…

Elster's last memories are taken out of Red Hell (and therefore - out of loop) into White (snowing) Limbo. Just same way it was transferred from dead Elster on Penrose-512 to Hell in the beginning of the game.

Elster opens her eyes and climbing back. She does not use the hatch. Instead she appears in Ariane's room on the same place where original Elster-512 died. She has another dreadful injury now - her heart was brutally ripped out. That is the scary price for another try. It is hard to admit, but love was the reason of Elster's failures. And now she's desperate enough: she gave a promise and she'll do anything. We see exposed blue bones, blue is Elster's colour. And Ariane accepts Elster's hart as a sacrifice and… forgives her?

Finally, we are approaching the chest plate paradox that is announced in the title! But first, couple words about our sponsor… Do you like brain rot? Have you ever been going to bed and saying "man, I wish I had something to think about again and again instead of healthy sleep"? Try Signalis! Providing broken harts and sleepless nights from 2022! And if you are an artist, you are cursed for additional 50%! Okay-okay, now serious XD

Remember that we are still in White Limbo, outside loops of Red Hell. Another Elster's body we find by the cryo-pod is not a result of other in-Hell endings! It shows us WHERE and HOW we should have died! Arm/armour - is a sign of Ariane's forgiveness. We cover red chest plate and arm markings (the colour of Ariane's wrath) in white and blue - colours of Ariane and Elster. And that will protect us. Now she's ready to jump back to Hell. Now Red side of Ariane can't stop her anymore! What she's gonna do about it, huh? Except… hm… driving Adler mad and wake up Falke? >_>

#signalis #spoilers #ariane yeong #lstr 512 #signalis elster

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salamisatos · 4 months

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late to the party?

I recently finished Xena's first season and it's the first time I'm rewatching it since I was a teen. And I'm just overwhelmed. I finished "Is there a doctor in the house?" last night and spent my whole day thinking about the episode and the season as a whole.

The thing is, I missed tv so much without even realizing it. Halfway through the season it hit me that we did used to have mid-season finales and the storyline would go a certain way to 1) give us a twist or 2) plant the seeds for the finale. What a joy, truly.

Anyways, from what I could remember the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle was never just implied but I thought they had only started to add more things in later seasons but it's so clear that this build up starts as soon as season 1. It was a very pleasant surprise, actually.

The start of Gabrielle's hero journey is breathtaking. I love a good "young and naive sidekick that tries to keep their heart pure even after witnessing the horrors of the world" trope. She starts like that and it's so painfully clear how much Xena wants to protect that and at the same time in later episodes we also see how much she respects Gabrielle's worldview. I also love that when she goes back home to figure herself out after freezing facing a dangerous situation it's 100% her choice. It was an amazing choice to put this moment right after she starts becoming more and more competent in battle, taking more care of herself because I feel like it was such a turning point for her. It's like in that moment she fully understood how high the stakes were and it's heartbreaking to see Xena come to the realization that she can't help Gabrielle with that. Ugh, I love it.

Speaking of Xena, I love how through the season we see her getting more and more fond of Gabrielle but really keeping her at arms length because she thinks she's not a good person. They are always doing things kind of separately, mostly Gabrielle staying behind and what not. I also love how this power trip and bloodlust she gets into feels almost like an addiction and it's such a painful struggle. She's trying so hard and Gabrielle is so ready to vouch for her, to absolve her of all her wrong doings, even us as audience feel so much in the way she's trying to do what's right and then bam they hit us with Callisto.

AND IT'S SO GOOD! like the literal personification of everything she did wrong. and they show us in such a nice way how much Xena understands and accepts that what she's doing is basically the bare minimum. She's not going to be absolved of anything, she's doing what's right because it's the right thing to do because she doesn't want that pain and suffering anymore and not because people will cheer and forgive her on the spot. She won't cheer and forgive herself on the spot.

It blows my mind how she's as caring as she's tough. I feel like often in media people still struggle to balance this line with the "strong female character" and here I felt it was done so naturally. In the last episode we see her using so many of her battle techniques but this time to help heal people. People she doesn't even know. We see her so practical, rationally teaching medicine as we know it to Hippocrates lol but then it all comes crashing down so painfully when Gabrielle gets injured. Like, that's her guide, her northern star, her partner and best friend. The scene where she's trying to get Gabrielle back is just so so so strong. She's like a cornered animal, no one is going to help her, she's at her most vulnerable and everything is so raw and desperate it truly took my breath away.

I don't think that's when she realized she really loved Gabrielle, I think she's known that for quite some time at this point but it was the first time she actually had to face what it would be like to really lose her and it was the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

Anyways I don't even know if I'm making sense, I just felt a lot of things and decided to let it out. I just love them so much it's crazy. And they love each other so much it's even crazier.

#long post #xwp #xwp personal recap #xena warrior princess #my text #also it's been ages since I typed so much english lol

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look-at-the-soul · 1 year

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Save yourself- Tommy Shelby x reader

So ages agooooo @runnning-outof-time posted a Kaleo song that I kept listening to over and over again, then @shelbydelrey made a cheating theme celebration 🎉 and I had been working since forever in both ideas but something was missing… until I decided to mix it and this came as the result.

K, I hope you like the result of using this particular song (Idk what idea you had in mind for it), but it gave me these vibes.💖

Isa, I couldn’t decide how to approach this particular theme, but Tommy cheating seemed to come to life by itself… and I hope it’s not too late to celebrate you 💕

⚠️ Cheating, angst

Y/N removed the hat as she walked into the House of Watery Lane, feeling so much better than the previous night, she had to leave the Grand re-opening of The Garrison early after feeling unwell, but after some tea and crackers, the only food her stomach seemed to accept. Polly offered her house because it was closer and she didn’t want to disturb anyone or ruin the fun for them, Ada was finally visiting them, Arthur was the happiest she had seen him in a long time, proud of the new and flashy decoration, and Tommy… well he just was enjoying himself to take him back home just because she was tired and nauseous.

Opening the door, she found a scene she never wanted to see; Tommy, her Tommy in bed with not one, but two women.

It weighs heavier on one's heart

I could tell right from the start that sweet ones are hard to come across

Her heart stopped beating for an instant, while the realization was sinking in… there was an indescribable ache, so hard to breathe… imagining his arms around them, giving those women the same pleasure he gave her endless nights.

He was just as shocked as she was, and quickly he tried to get up, untangling himself from them, shit, what did he do? Y/N didn’t deserved that. As she felt her stomach up in her throat, she couldn’t watch them anymore.

Snapping fast from her trance, she found herself turning around, strangely calmed, a realization hitting her like a bullet, heartbeat now drumming against her ribs, her fingers felt numb, clumsy, as if she had a big cloud inside her head.

She wasn’t going to make a huge drama out of it, she wouldn’t ask for explanations, she didn’t feel like listening to lame excuses to justify his actions. No, she walked out of there in silence, with her heart shattered into million pieces, yes, but she would get over it, just like she had been all of her life.

Tommy rushed to get dressed, shouting for her to wait, he would ask for forgiveness, beg on his knees, tell her it was just a mistake. Fumbling with his pants, he picked up his peaky cap from the floor, breaking an empty bottle of whiskey as he stumbled. Trying hard to tuck in his shirt inside of his pants, but she was gone already. She was the best thing of his fucking life and he ruined.

Heart like yours is rare to find

Someone else's gain will be my loss

Revenge could come in different forms, she could’ve steal all the money from the safe in their room or the one in his office, fuck him over, force him to buy her expensive presents to make it up for it all, she could fuck anyone right there in front of him just to give him back what he did. Anyone would suggest make him pay, make him beg and watch him suffer…

But she wasn’t going to make an scandal. No, her reaction was much lethal than that.

She would leave in silence, without tears, without shouting, no pointing fingers.

He turned out to be just like his father, she knew that would kill him, the comparison.

Choose your words before you speak

Can you see that all you've got is time?

Tommy rushed down the street cursing at himself, feeling the worse headache forming and found her in their bedroom, a single travel bag over the bed, she was calmly folding her clothes.

Just as she packed their bags to go to their country house.

“Y/N please.” Tommy pleaded desperate.

His words meant nothing now, all of those empty promises, the dreams they had together… gone.

Seeing her like that was worse than hear her shouting, breaking things, yelling at him. That would’ve been the expected reaction after what she saw. But she wasn’t even crying or hitting him, he deserved that.

He’d have preferred that, a million slaps than this.

She took a moment to check her belongings and walked towards the dresser to retrieve her passport and important papers. She arrived to this house with just a few things and she would leave just about the same.

“Y/N… nothing I could say could repair what I did, but I swear it meant nothing, it was a mistake, I was so drunk…” she wasn’t even listening to him anymore, it was just a buzz in the back of her mind. “I lost control…” he drank a lot, mixed it with an obscene amount of snow, didn’t even realize…fuck.

Walking into the nursery, she went directly to the first drawer and carefully, took a blanket that Polly knitted for the baby, the nappies and the rabbit that Ada bought for their unborn child. Yeah, she really didn’t need all those expensive gifts he gave her.

“I’ll go somewhere else, you can stay here I won’t bother you,” Tommy kept babbling while she walked past him, back into the bedroom they once shared.

Still in complete silence.

He knew Y/N better than the palm of his hand, he knew he should stay away right now, but he needed her to stop packing, this silent treatment only added more worry and stress to his already altered heart.

And that was the only time she dared to look at him in the eyes, making him wish she never did. Shoving away his hand from her body as he tried to reach her.

Tommy deserved a slap, deserved to have his balls cut, but she wasn’t going to lose time in that.

He started to see white dots when Y/N closed the bag, it wasn’t completely full yet and she seemed to be done.

And not just with the bag, but with him as well.

Tommy rubbed his hands all over his face, lost for words, feeling his entire world coming to an imminent end. It didn’t matter that he was stronger than her, in that very moment he felt so small, so useless, knowing that nothing he did, would make her change her mind.

But he tried, he tried to grab the bag from her hands as she stood at the top of the stairs, still begging for forgiveness.

“Fine, I don’t need that either.” She wasn’t even going to try to fight him over the bag, especially not close to the stairs, she just wanted to leave.

She knew she deserved better, not because she was someone important, but because she knew her value and she wanted respect, simple as that. Birmingham could be his territory, but he wasn’t her owner.

“No no, Y/N, listen to me please…” he rushed down, to stop her from opening the door.

But she was determined to leave, with or without the bag, of course that wasn’t going to stop her.

Before she met him, she had several wooers, with better intentions than him, but he was determined to make her fall for him, and that was the greatest mistake of her life.

Oh darling, save yourself for someone else

“We’ve a story together, Y/N, please…”

Save yourself

Oh, won't you save yourself?

“You can’t take away my child!” He snapped breathlessly, panicking because he was running out of time, of reasons to make her stay.

Are you going to break?

The look Y/N gave him, could’ve easily turned him into stone, a sarcastic smile playing in her lips.

“Now it’s a good time to remember you have a baby on the way, should’ve think of that last night, don’t you think?”

Y/N ripped the bag from his hand.

It would be just her baby and herself, away from this life, away from the risks, away from his lies.

She was unsure of a lot of things, but there was one around her mind in that very moment, sometimes you need to save yourself.

The worst part of it, was that Tommy knew deep down, that Y/N would be better off without him.

***

Master list

As usual, your thoughts are my favorite part 💕

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @gypsy-girl-08 @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @ange-thoughts @gretelshelby @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @strayrockette @forbidden-forest-witch @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @zablife @peakyscillian @moral-terpitude @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @cilliansangel @rangerelik

#That’s what Cill said #Tommy Shelby #Tommy Shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby fanfic

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theerurishipper · 8 months

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Coming back to one of the points I've made earlier but never really elaborated upon, what does it do for Adrien's arc to have everyone lie to him?

Adrien's arc is about finding his self-worth and his independence and learning how to be loved unconditionally. Gabriel is controlling and abusive and only gives Adrien a second's worth of attention if Adrien caters to his every whim. And so, you'd think that part of Adrien's arc is learning that people will love him for who he is without him having to bend to their desires, and that he has the right to make decisions for himself. But this new development as of the Season 5 finale is that, no, Adrien's loved ones actually don't want him to make his own choices. In fact, they would rather support and emulate his abusive father's controlling actions and deny Adrien his agency and his ability to make informed choices about his own life. They would rather dictate how he should feel and would rather decide what's best for him rather than giving him the choice to do so himself. This comes with its large set of very much unfortunate implications.

Under the cut because this is long.

This is a problem that started with Season 4, with the introduction of Ladybug's Gabriel-esque behavior towards Chat Noir, and the subsequent lack of proper resolution. In fact, the resolution was that Chat Noir was asking too much of Ladybug, and that what needed to be done to resolve this conflict of Ladybug keeping important secrets from Chat Noir and replacing him with other holders... was for Chat Noir to suck it up and continue supporting Ladybug. It was for him to put aside his legitimate concerns with her actions and to accept that he would never be treated the way he wants to be. It was for him to push down his own feelings and come to stay by her side even though she had not treated him well, and even though she never actually fixed her mistakes.

What is the importance of his relationship with Ladybug? For the first 3 seasons, at least, it was the escape from his abusive home life that Adrien needed, to someone who would accept him unconditionally. But Season 4 introduced the infamous Ladynoir conflict that permanently altered their dynamic. I've talked about how the Season 4 finale only served to reinforce the inequality between them. It begins with Ladybug keeping secrets from Chat Noir and pulling away from him, and it ends by him simply forgiving her because he is used to downplaying his own needs. And I don't feel the desire to rehash all that, but it does beg the question: What is the takeaway from the Ladynoir conflict? Is it that he should bend himself over to be what she needs, but she doesn't need to return the same support? Is it that Ladybug is the Flawless Leader™, and he should learn his place? Because that's the impression it gives.

Now, I've talked before about how Gabriel's abuse has caused Adrien to believe love is conditional and has to be earned by him pleasing the other person and doing whatever they expect of him. And the importance of his Chat Noir persona being more expressive and "imperfect" is that this is the only time he can let loose and have fun, free of the expectations of others. And Season 4 has him return to his trauma responses around Ladybug, the person who is narratively supposed to be the one person who accepts his imperfections and doesn't place any expectations on him. Now, Chat Noir being traumatized is not Ladybug's fault, of course, and if he is fawning over her, certainly it is not her fault. But the narrative frames this as beneficial to her. Ladybug likes when Chat Noir fawns over her as Catwalker. Over and over in the story, she takes advantage of his forgiveness and trust, and never examines herself or her actions, and never tries to fix her mistakes because he always ends up forgiving her due to his belief that his feelings don't matter. Ladybug meets Catwalker, which is literally just Adrien fawning and trying to be whatever he needs to be to please her, and she instantly falls for him.

And in a narrative sense... this is detrimental to the concept of the Love Square, because it reinforces the narrative that Ladybug will never fall in love with Chat Noir, because what she wants is the perfect image, the flawless partner. The rose-tinted glasses she sees Adrien with are not being removed, rather she is putting on a fresh, darker shade. And it doesn't say good things about their development that she falls for the perfect act almost immediately upon meeting him, the moment he swears that he'll take care of her. And I won't go into too much detail since I've covered it in my other posts, but the point is that Marinette only ever seems to fall for boys who don't inconvenience her with their emotions, and instead take care of her needs without expecting anything, and this makes it seem like she is benefitting from Adrien's trauma. And Marinette is never allowed to return the support she gets from Chat Noir in any meaningful way, and it is framed by the narrative as right and wonderful that Adrien is so nice as to put his feelings aside and support her over and over again despite her repeatedly making the same mistakes and hurting him. His trauma response is framed as a good thing because it benefits Marinette.

Season 4 was about Marinette deliberately keeping secrets from her partner, dictating his actions and outright lying to him and taking advantage of his trust at times. Decidedly Gabe-like behavior, even though it was way more toned down and way less malicious (I won't go too far with that comparison, but still). And Season 5 ends up adding more salt to the wound, by having Marinette straight out lie to Adrien about his father, dictating his perceptions and controlling his thoughts and feelings, just like Gabriel would have liked. And in fact, Gabriel asked her to do this to the son she knows he abused, and she sides with him. And it's not just Marinette. The list of people who have denied Adrien honesty just goes on and on. Gabriel, Emilie, Nathalie, Amelie, Felix, Kagami, Master Fu, Luka, Plagg, Tikki, Marinette, Alya, Su-Han... they are all, as those who knew truths about different situations, people who chose to lie to and hide information from Adrien that he was entitled to. And with the exception of Luka and Master Fu, all of these people are complicit in siding with Gabriel and denying Adrien the most important secret of all, the truth of his very existence.

Which raises the question: if Adrien's arc was supposedly about breaking free from a controlling life and finding those who didn't do that to him, then why is it that everyone around him appears to agree with Gabriel? Why does the person who, in the narrative, is supposed to be the opposite of Gabriel and the saving grace for Adrien, parallel him so much in both actions and backstory? Does that not cheapen Adrien's arc? What does that imply for him? That he can never escape the fate of being controlled? That being controlling over a person's agency is fine and dandy if done for the right reasons?

Let's take a look back over Adrien's arc. Adrien's first scene is him rebelling against Gabriel, and we see him come closer and closer to the realization that Gabriel is abusive and cruel. We see Adrien make friends like Nino and Ladybug. We see the trajectory that his arc is going in, one of him learning to reject his father and assert his self-worth and his own identity in the face of the man who has controlled him his whole life.

And yet, there are still some glaring problems that become more apparent as the story progresses, and they come to a head in Seasons 4 and 5. It's shown in scenes like in the episode Felix, where we see that despite everyone getting together to do something nice for Adrien, the moment he acts out of character, their first instinct is to admit that they don't know him very well at all. Almost all the interactions he has with his supposed best friend and his other friends are about setting him up with Marinette. Adrien only matters to them in his role as Marinette's future boyfriend. And this is not addressed by the narrative as something that should be fixed or resolved, or that it is even a problem in the first place.

Adrien's feelings are repeatedly denied in this show. From him having to simply forgive and forget how Ladybug hurt him, to him being repeatedly taken advantage of by Felix without the narrative letting him be upset over it, to his instant forgiveness of Gabriel, the narrative will not let Adrien feel anything negative towards the characters that the narrative actually cares about so as to not inconvenience them. His only purpose is to prop them up and bend to their needs, and anything he might realistically feel against them is invalidated and forgotten because it would go against his role of being their motivation/prop/plot device.

We also see a problem with narrative focus for him. Adrien is not the protagonist of the show, and my criticism is not that he does not get as much screentime as Marinette. The issue is that even the dedicated screentime he does get outside of being shipped with Marinette and being a part of the battle of the episode, the screentime that should be used to develop his character is often cut into by the writers' desperate need to shove Marinette into every single plot and have her be the focus of every episode. Episodes that should have focused on Adrien's loneliness like Puppeteer 2, or episodes dedicated to Adrien's friendships with others like Party Crasher, or even episodes like Gabriel Agreste which should have focused on the Agreste drama, are ultimately about Marinette trying to confess her feelings for Adrien. But this really shows itself in Chat Blanc, where the main plot of the episode is one where Gabriel's abuse of Adrien is ramped up to the max, and one where Adrien undergoes unimaginable and incomprehensible trauma, and the only thing that truly matters about it is... how it affects Marinette.

And as I said, Season 4 takes this to a new level. Ladybug, the one supposed to be Adrien's escape from his civilian life, is also someone who he fawns around. And that inherently is not a bad thing to depict, because it is not Ladybug's fault that Chat Noir is traumatized, and it is realistic that this happens. What is a problem though, is the way the narrative never paints this as a trauma response. Chat Noir pushing aside his feelings and supporting her as she repeatedly hurts him over and over is treated as good and nice of him, without her having to examine herself or realize she's treating him badly. And in the end, he accepts that he'll never be treated like he wants to and comes back to support her in her hour of need, and simply shoves his feelings away, never to complain about them again. I mentioned that Ladybug benefits from Chat Noir's civilian abuse, and this is how. Chat Noir is allowed to be traumatized, but only as long as it doesn't affect Marinette. Then, his trauma response is not only beneficial, but also the romantic and right thing to do. And, as Kuro Neko said, the answer to the issue of Ladybug keeping secrets and making mistakes is for Chat Noir to stop being so sensitive and just push his feelings away to support her. Chat Noir's trauma does not matter.

And Season 5 only doubles down on this. Adrien's rebellion against his father only matters now because the end goal is for him to date Marinette. The issue of him being a Sentimonster only matters because now it's getting in the way of him dating Marinette. But it could have been fine. Development is development, and the scene where Adrien finally confronts his abuser and asserts his right to be an individual and have autonomy over himself will still be an empowering moment that shows him breaking free of abuse-

He is not in the final battle.

Instead, Marinette is the one to face Adrien's abusive father, by merging Adrien's Miraculous with hers, by facing him off in Adrien's home. Marinette is the one who stands up to Gabriel and faces him. Marinette is the one who completes Adrien's arc for him. It was never about Adrien facing off against his father. It was all a set up for Marinette to do it.

As we all know, Thomas Astruc has gone on record on Twitter to say that Chat Blanc was the reason that Adrien could not participate in the final battle. Chat Blanc, which happened in Season 3, two seasons before Adrien rebelled to this extent against his father, before he underwent that little thing in writing called character development. In Season 4, we watched Ephemeral which more or less rehashed the same points as Chat Blanc, and in Season 5, we watched Representation, where Adrien's final interaction with his father was to be sprayed with nightmare gas and be unable to fight in the final battle (even though Bug Noire managed whilst also suffering from nightmares). We saw these ridiculous excuses be used to contrive a reason for why Adrien could not participate in his own arc, in his own story, even though they could have been easily resolved.

Throughout Season 5, we see the parallels being built up between Marinette and Gabriel, about how they both came from the same situations, and how alike they are in that regard. Previous parallels established between them that the show does not acknowledge as much as it should are their controlling streak (though Marinette is nowhere near as bad as Gabe) and them being willing to do anything for the people they love ("love" being questionable in Gabe's case). Marinette is the one who hears the truth of the Agreste family. In the Season 5 finale, Marinette and Gabriel are the ones that face off against each other. Adrienette was rushed up to come to full fruition in Season 5 despite it hampering the development of the Love Square, all in an attempt to connect Marinette to the Agreste plot. Therefore, Adrien was only ever a plot device so that Marinette could have a stake in the Agreste plot. He is there to connect Marinette and Gabriel and give them something to fight over. Their fight is about him and what is best for him, but he has no agency in it despite it being about him. He only exists as the prize for the winner.

I've talked about this before, but the jist of it is that Adrien was never meant to have an arc about breaking free of abuse. He was never meant to confront his father. Adrien's story only mattered so that Marinette could use it in her speech to talk Gabe down. Adrien's feelings only mattered as far as they affected Marinette herself. He was just meant to be there to further her development. His main contribution to the arc with his last name was to give up his agency and step aside for Marinette, and this is what his role has been throughout the show. All his character was meant to do was be the damsel in distress who she could receive as her trophy once she defeated the big bad villain.

Everything Adrien's character was meant to do was to be Ladybug's prop to offer he support when she needed it, to offer her a connection to the main plotline, and to be her prize after she won. His feelings, his emotions, his trauma... they all only mattered in the context of what they meant for Ladybug. If they inconvenienced her, they were unimportant. If they benefitted her, they were good. He took the blame for her mistakes so that she didn't have to be held accountable, he forgave her so that she didn't have to work to fix her mistakes, and he continued to support her when she didn't really return the favor. Because that is Adrien's role, to be Marinette's emotional support partner who conveniently comes pre-abused and ready to downplay his feelings and emotions to cater to hers while not asking or expecting anything of her. He only exists to take care of Marinette's needs, not as his own character.

And this writing of Adrien's trauma as secondary to Marinette's convenience is a really awful way to write an abuse victim. Not allowing him to prioritize his own feelings and portraying it as a good thing when he fawns over Ladybug is a really awful and bad way to portray his trauma stemming from his abuse. But good thing the fact that he is a victim of abuse is respected at least with regards to his relationship with his abuser, right?

Right?

It's been discussed before how Gabriel's actions are downplayed and minimized in order to afford him maximum sympathy, to portray him as just a misguided and lost soul, instead of as a terrorist and abuser (credit to @erisluna35 for their great post on the matter). The show denies Adrien an opportunity to confront the man, and instead, the good ending is that his victim forgives him. One way the show downplays Gabriel's abusiveness towards Adrien is by having Marinette want to work with him to find a solution for Adrien, implying that his only crime was to not think of Adrien's well-being, and that the only intentions he had for Adrien were correct, fatherly ones that he just lost sight of, and that if he had paid attention to Adrien, he would have been an excellent and loving father, instead of it being that he actively mistreated his son and therefore should not be trusted or allowed to make any sort of decision regarding Adrien's future. He was always "just a man who loves his family" deep down, and he always had only good intentions and a pure heart, and he simply forgot about what he had in pursuit of an ideal family for that son, instead of it being that he was an abusive, controlling person who whittled down his son's self-worth and treated him like a possession, like property, like a doll that was made to cater to his wishes, and that he only ever wanted his wife back for himself and not for his son.

And this just suggests to me that Gabriel's actions... are not meant to be read as abusive. His only crime was paying attention to the Miraculous over his son. Not the gaslighting, the manipulation, the lifelong isolation, the controlling, the physical violence in some realities, the fucking sensory deprivation chambers... those were all not abuse, I guess.

This is confirmed by the fact that Marinette and everyone else lying to Adrien about his existence because Gabriel asked them to do so is framed as a good thing and as proof of Marinette's love for Adrien or something. They are quite explicitly doing what he says, literally following his wishes on how to treat his son. And yet, their actions are not framed as toxic and controlling as they should be, but as selfless and kind towards poor Adrien who won't be able to handle the truth because he's too emotional and weak. Despite this being classic Gabe rhetoric, this is supposed to be seen as sweet and heartwarming and touching, that Marinette is oh so selfless to deny Adrien the information he is entitled to know and to make that choice for him. This tells us that the writers don't really see how Gabriel treated Adrien as... wrong. They don't see his actions are wrong, because when Marinette does it, it's fine! The issue, then, isn't that Gabriel is an abuser who denies his son his autonomy, it's that Gabriel did all these things for the wrong reasons, and Marinette is doing them for the right reasons.

Indeed, the parallelisms, whether intentional or not, between Marinette and Gabriel only serve to further downplay the magnitude of Gabriel's abuse of his son. The problem wasn't that these things are wrong and awful, it's that Gabriel did them because he was Evil and Marinette is doing them because she's Good, and when you're Good, it's okay to gaslight your boyfriend into loving his abuser. There's nothing inherently wrong or abusive about anything Gabriel did. The issue, in fact, is not that he did these things, but his reasonings for them. While it's okay if Marinette denies Adrien the right to be informed of his own life because she feels he is too emotional to be able to make his own choices, because she is Pure and Good and she Loves Him So Much.

And for another example, consider how Emilie Agreste is framed as a perfect and loving and wonderful mother, even though she allowed Adrien to be isolated his whole life and is also heavily implied to have been using the mind control rings on him, since there are two of them. This kinda shows that the writers don't really think mind controlling is abuse or even wrong. It's just wrong because Gabriel is Evil, but Emilie is Pure and Good and therefore allowed to abuse her child this way.

But I don't think the writers were malicious about this. Despite his questionable tweets, I don't think Thomas Astruc doesn't care about abuse. I don't think the writers were deliberately trying to infantilize the abuse victim in the story. I just feel like they don't understand that what they portrayed is abuse. And yet, it comes off as them invalidating the trauma Adrien suffered, but I don't think that would be intentional. The explanation I have for this, therefore, is that Adrien is not supposed to have trauma. Adrien is not supposed to be read as a victim of abuse.

I've mentioned the Marinette-Gabriel parallels, but let me add one more. Adrien is the plot device that furthers Marinette's character, but he also fulfills the same role for Gabriel.

Throughout Season 5, we see Adrien rebel against his father more and more, and it was expected that this would culminate in a final confrontation where Adrien would confront his abuser in his entirety. But Adrien was not a part of this final confrontation, so the arc wasn't about him, and it stands to reason that it must have been for some other character. We see that it is for Marinette, since she was the one who fulfilled what should have been his arc and got the moment that should have been Adrien's. But who was on the other side of this confrontation? Who was the one the speech was directed towards? Who did Adrien connect Marinette to?

It is Gabriel.

Adrien's callout of his father does not matter for furthering his character, but for furthering Gabriel's character. His calling out of Gabriel is less a way for him to finally realize that his father's treatment of him is cruel, and more of a way for Gabe to be seen a tragic, fallen villain. Adrien's callout of his father is not about him, it's about Gabriel and how he feels about it. The finale deals not with Adrien's feelings about being failed by his father, but how Gabriel feels about having failed him. Adrien's increasing rejection of his father is not used to finish the arc he should have had, but it is used in Gabriel's instead. And Gabriel's redemption comes from him being praised by his victim, who aspires to be like him. Adrien was only ever there to progress Gabriel's arc, not the other way around. Adrien had no real agency in the matter, and Gabriel's increasingly cruel treatment of him was only ever there to highlight how far he himself had fallen and was never really about Adrien realizing the truth about him.

And once Gabriel makes the choice to "change," he is rewarded with the forgiveness and love of his victim, who is there to conveniently express to the viewer how we should feel about him. Adrien is there to call out Gabriel when Gabriel is being Bad and Evil and is there to then inform the viewers that Gabriel is Good now by forgiving him and forgetting all his mistakes. Because Adrien forgave Gabriel and isn't Gabriel so wonderful now that he's made up for his mistakes and his victim has forgiven him and even looks up to him?

The main highlight of Gabriel's supposed redemption is the forgiveness of his victim, further highlighting the point that Adrien only existed as a character to push Gabriel's narrative, and not as a victim of abuse who is entitled to decide whether or not to forgive this man. Adrien did not forgive Gabriel because of a natural and believable development in his arc, he forgave him because he is ultimately a plot device to exposit about the current state of Gabriel's arc and to show the viewer what kind of a man Gabriel is, and Gabriel is good now, and so he must be validated through the forgiveness of his victim. Adrien is a prop in Gabriel's arc, who shows us the tragedy of Gabriel's fall and the future redemption of his "selfless sacrifice." His character that of "Gabriel's son," to take us through Gabriel's arc, and not a character of his own.

And since Adrien's ultimate end is to show that Gabriel is a good man after all, it also lends credence to the interpretation that, no, he is not traumatized after all. Nothing actually happened to Adrien himself, because he is only a plot device, not a character. He is there to let us know the tragedy of the man Gabriel. He is just there to let us know where Gabriel is in his arc. We see this in the way his development in just completely erased once Gabriel is "redeemed." His reactions don't make sense in the context of his arc, and it's OOC how he goes from calling out his father for who he is and then reverting back to worshipping him and forgetting all his flaws. But when you consider that the purpose of his character is less being his own character and more about highlighting and pushing forward Gabriel's arc, they make a lot more sense. His reactions don't make sense for the development that he has received throughout the season, but it makes sense if you consider that he is just a cog in Gabriel's story, and that his arc only matters as far as it affects Gabriel's arc. His struggles only matter as far as they affect Gabriel. Just like they only matter in the way they affect Marinette. Adrien doesn't get to learn anything, choose anything or even do anything if it is not about Marinette or Gabriel.

But to go back to the question at the beginning of the post, what purpose does it serve in Adrien's arc to have everyone he knows lie to him?

The answer is that Adrien does not have an arc.

Of course, it seems like he does. He does show some form of growth in calling out his father, so it would appear. But the arc of realizing his father is abusive, the arc of realizing that he deserves to make his own choices, that he deserves unconditional love... does not exist. He is only a plot device in the story, meant to be the motivation for the protagonist and the antagonist. Any arc or character complexity he has is largely accidental. His story about being a victim of abuse is unimportant and non-existent, and the show itself denies him agency and the ability to have any meaningful impact on the story outside of his role in the arcs of the main characters of the show. He has nothing of his own happening for him, he has nothing to do with his own life and family. All he matters for is to be the prop for Gabe's redemption and the prize for Marinette. His only role is to connect these two so that they can duke it out.

He has no autonomy, no agency, no nothing outside of being what Gabriel and Marinette need. We can scream until we're blue in the face about how Adrien feels the need to put on masks to please everyone and has been conditioned into believing his worth is based on pleasing others and that his emotions don't matter, and to be fair I will not stop making those analyses myself, but the fact remains that this is his narrative role. The narrative validates the abuser, both through the actions of the characters around Adrien and the framing of his arc. The characters around him don't treat him as a person as much as they treat him as Marinette's boyfriend, or as someone who doesn't get to make informed choices and should be kept in the dark because he is too emotional. The narrative treats him as a doll who must bend to the needs of the real characters with arcs and a story in the show, as a character who does not have agency and any value of his own beyond being what other characters need. His supposed development is only there to highlight Gabriel's fall. His own feelings and trauma are invalidated in favor of focusing on Marinette. Nothing he does is about him, it's about the main two characters in the show.

The show goes out of its way to remove him from the conflict. There are two episodes devoted to how he cannot ever find out about his father. He gets sprayed with nightmare gas. Fuck, even the only importance of him being a Sentimonster is to make sure that Adrien cannot find a way to break free of Gabriel's control and actually contribute to the plot. The Sentimonster plotline is mainly meant to make sure that there is no way that Adrien would be able to break free of Gabriel's control, hence he cannot take part in the final battle. Its very existence in the story boils down to being a convenient excuse for Adrien to not be a part of the finale. The only importance of the rings is ultimately so that Marinette can have a moment to slide it on his finger while ambiguously either giving him an order or not (I wouldn't be surprised if it was since the show doesn't seem to think mind control is wrong) to show that she's Good and Not Like Gabriel. The Sentimonster thing is textually a plot device to make characters unable to do anything because they physically can't. And it only serves to reduce Adrien into even more of an object, because he's now literally an object. The deeper ramifications of Adrien being a Sentimonster are never explored. It literally only exists to deprive Adrien of more agency so that Marinette can get into the spotlight. The only thing that matters about it is that it is now in the way of Adrienette, once more only focusing on how Adrien's issues affect Marinette.

Adrien is literally reduced to being a part of the magic slave race, because he cannot under any circumstance be a part of the finale and be the one to confront his abuser. And to a smaller extent, this is also the case for Felix and Kagami, two people who have a closer connection to the plotline beyond "fighting the guy who won't let me date my boyfriend." They are also Sentimonsters, and therefore have no choice but to rely on Marinette to save them and cannot fight alone even though Felix had no problem with that in the last season. The Sentimonster plotline is just an excuse to remove anyone with closer ties to Gabriel than his son's girlfriend from the conflict. Either they are working with Gabriel, or they are part of the slave race and cannot fight him, leaving only Marinette to do that for them. But like, at least Felix and Kagami got to make an informed choice about it without being lied to by everyone.

And this denial of abuse and the invalidating of Adrien's trauma leads to some pretty crazy abuse apologism for Gabe. And yes, reducing the impact of Gabriel's abuse, trying to pass him off as "just a man who loves his family," and denying the abuse that Adrien suffered throughout the show is in fact, abuse apologism. And the creators' insistence that Adrien was not emotionally mature enough to fight his father, being that this was the point of Chat Blanc all along apparently, also falls into this same trap of implying that abuse victims are not capable of making sound decisions and having autonomy over their own life, and isn't it so nice that Adrien is now Marinette's doll instead of being Gabriel's. It's victim blaming garbage, and it is frankly really gross. But in the narrative tells us what Gabriel has been telling us from day one about Adrien, that he is too emotional, that he must be protected, that he cannot make his own choices and his autonomy is better left in the hands of others, that his only purpose is to be a doll and a prop for the people around him. He only matters as far as he is useful to them.

And if you want to see the most damning example of Adrien being irrelevant outside his role as the motivation for the two people who actually drive what should be his story, look no further than Chat Noir.

Chat Noir is the only thing that indisputably belongs to Adrien. Chat Noir is him asserting his agency, his freedom, his choices. Chat Noir is his. And Chat Noir is not part of the finale. Not even in terms of physical presence. Chat Noir is an absolute non-entity in the finale. I'm not talking about Adrien; I mean Chat Noir. Chat Noir, who spent nine months fighting Monarch by Ladybug's side. Chat Noir, the owner of the Black Cat Miraculous. Chat Noir in Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir, is missing in both body and mind from this final battle against his father. The one part of his life and the one part of the story where Adrien had any agency and autonomy of his own, was removed entirely from the finale. Chat Noir was reduced into nothing, to mean nothing. Because Ladybug only went there for Adrien and not to finish her and Chat Noir's fight.

Ladybug didn't fight Monarch in order to end their months-long crusade, she didn't acknowledge that Chat Noir was at least there with her in spirit, she didn't come to Monarch to put an end to the battle that they'd fought for so long with any intentions of at least wanting to carry his fight along with her to bring their enemy to an end, she wasn't there for both of them. She came there for Adrien. She came there to look for Adrien. And the symbol of Adrien's agency, Chat Noir's ring, was on her finger throughout her fight with his father over him. Chat Noir did not matter.

I'll say it again. Adrien had nothing. He was only a tool for Marinette and Gabriel. His role was to be passed on from Gabriel's clutches to Marinette's. And it paints a very bad picture that the one reduced to the role of the plot device is the abuse victim. And for anyone who doubts that Adrien is supposed to be Marinette's plot device, Thomas Astruc has helpfully made my point for me by tweeting that Adrien is Ken and Marinette is Barbie, and that we should just deal with it because it's not going to change. And I hope that this also makes it clear that we will not be dealing with the fact that Marinette is siding with her boyfriend's abuser and doing what he wants, because Marinette is always right, and Adrien doesn't get to have feelings that inconvenience her and only exists to prop her up.

The show makes it clear that he is just an object in the story from the way he's written as a damsel in distress who needs someone else to come save him, and this is taken even further by the fact that he is literally a puppet who can be mind controlled. It takes away Adrien's story of regaining autonomy and informs us that he was never supposed to have autonomy and never can, making it clear that he was never really supposed to have any arc of his own. He was never supposed to break out from his father. His end was to become Marinette's boyfriend and to worship Gabriel. Because that is how their arcs end, and their plot device must go along with it regardless of narrative implications or established characterization.

But that is Adrien's purpose in the show. For Marinette to beat the villain, and to receive his son as her prize for doing that. His abuse and trauma are secondary to Marinette's needs, and him being a victim of Gabriel's abuse is secondary to him being the vessel for Gabriel's redemption. He is only there to be a source of motivation for these two characters and to cater to their arcs. Marinette and Gabriel are the only ones who matter, who have agency in the story. Adrien is just a simple plot device to push their arcs, instead of having one himself. There is no arc for the abuse victim. He exists solely as an object, as property, as a damsel in distress, as a doll. There is no agency and autonomy for him in this story. And that is the unfortunate truth.

#MLB #Adrien Agreste #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #Marinette Salt #Felix Salt #I guess?? Tagging to be safe mostly #S5 Finale #Sentimonsters #Meta #My meta #Abuse tw #Abuse cw #Ladynoir conflict

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valentinetypewriter · 5 months

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Me And My Husband - Chapter 5

Taglist (let me know if you want to be on it: @ashlynnmalfoy @ashisabitgay @rainychaosmiracle @uarmysingularity @lafrone

Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Chapter 6

Summary: Barty is avoiding Y/n who is avoiding Sirius and Remus, teen drama at its best. But what happens when a certain someone's younger brother finds out who hurt his best friend

Warnings: swearing, teenagers are kind of dicks sometimes

Notes: sorry this jumps a lot between different characters, there was a lot of stuff I was excited to add into this chapter

Word count: 2,481

It had been two weeks since the Library incident, meaning it had been two whole weeks since Y/n last spoke to Barty. Though it wasn't by her own choice, no the Ravenclaw seemed to be avoiding her. Which is surprisingly easy when you aren't in the same house and share very few classes. Though Barty wasn't the only one avoiding people. Y/n herself had also been avoiding Sirius and Remus, much to a certain sandy haired boy's annoyance. For two weeks Remus had been trying to apologise to Y/n, which is very hard when said girl does nothing but glare right through him as if he didn't exist. What annoyed Remus more than being ignored by Y/n, was how unhelpful Sirius had been since that night in the library. Sirius had seemed more cruel towards her, making harsh remarks and jokes loud enough for the girl to hear. They always made James and Peter laugh, though Remus knew it was because they didn't understand the severity of their situation. And as much as Remus was angry with Sirius he couldn't pretend he himself was innocent, he was just as cruel to the friends of the poor girl who only wanted to get to know the two.

It was again that time of day when Remus would attempt another apology, he thought even if she didn't really want to accept his apology, It would eventually wear her down enough to do so. People didn't often seem to harbour guilt for things they believed were the right thing to do. So as soon as Remus saw the Slytherin girl he was looking for, and thankfully she was alone, he ran over to her calling out her name, making her stop dead in her tracks. With a roll of her eyes Y/n spun around to come face to face with one of the boys she'd been trying to avoid, unfortunately his constant harassment almost made her want to accept his apology so he'd just leave her alone. “What the hell do you want Lupin?” The girl asked in a cold and flat tone “I wanted to apologies for what happened in the library Y/n, I shouldn't have said any of those things” the girl scoffed at the tall boy “I agree, you definitely shouldn't have ever said those things to my friends, and I still don't forgive you” she turned to leave but stopped at the pathetically miserable noise Remus let out “Look Lupin it's been 14 days and you've apologised 32 times already, that's more than twice a day. So take a hint and leave me the fuck alone”.

She tried to leave, Remus though didn't like that and grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. She whipped her head back and tried pulling away from the tall boy “let go of me Lupin” her voice was cold and almost threatening. “Will you please just listen to me Y/n” the girl tried pulling away once more “I told you no, I don't-” Y/n was cut off by the hand around her wrist tightening, it felt as though her wrist would shatter under his grip “ow! Remus let go please, you're hurting me” her voice wavered and cracked, unable to hide her obvious fear of the boy's sudden change in behaviour. Y/n struggled more in his grip before finally getting free from the boy she assumed had major anger issues. “You know what, maybe my mother was right, you dirty half-bloods are all the same, don't try to talk to me again Lupin. I mean it!” Her voice edged away from the fear it held mere seconds ago to an icy and deep tone. Before the tanned boy could say anything else, Y/n turned around and finally walked off, leaving the boy alone and completely gutted.

“Merlin she's such an uptight bitch” Sirius said to the boy next to him, the said ‘uptight bitch’ he was referring to was none other than Y/n L/n. The only reason he was saying those things, was simply because after another rejection, Remus went sulking to his best friend. Said boy was currently buried under his thick blankets, sulking in his own self pity, Sirius never liked when his friends were upset, no matter what caused it. Sirius was also an incredibly impulsive person, which the two didn't mix very well. “You know what if she doesn't want to talk to you that's fine, I don't care anyway what someone like her thinks of either of us” his harsh words were followed by the loud noise of his stomping feet. Remus peeked his head out of his blanket just enough to see what the raven haired boy was up to, Sirius was currently shoving open the large window beside his bed.

The boy moved over to his bed picking up the enchanted green vase sitting on his bedside table, which for the past two weeks had been the only thing keeping the flowers alive. The angry boy made his way back over to the window, looking out before his attention was directed back to Remus “what are you doing?”. Sirius let out an annoyed huff “getting rid of this stupid thing, if she doesn't want to be ‘friends’ then I'm not going to keep some stupid reminder of her next to my bed” and with that he let the flowers drop out of the window, a quiet smash being heard a few seconds later. Sirius seemed to think that if he couldn't see it, it was no longer his problem. With that said and done, and the window now shut, the grey eyed boy left the room, his anger still burning. Remus just stayed laying in his bed staring up at his own vase, a small ache in his chest as he looked at them.

It had been an entire two days since Y/n was last harassed by Remus, it had been a good experience for the girl, quiet and less annoying. Though she couldn't feel too happy about it, she was still unable to get Barty to talk to her. Not even when she asked Evan and Regulus to help her so many times, he just seemed to avoid everyone and everything. It started with just not talking to her and the rest of their friends, then he was skipping a few meals here and there, and then he stopped showing up to the few classes they shared together, and he stopped going to any meals all together. Y/n heart ached for her friend, she only managed to get passing glimpses of him as he walked through the halls, but even from afar she could tell he didn't look good. Barty seemed more sickly looking, his skin was more pale than usual and he had dark bags under his eyes. Another thing she noticed was how his clothes had been seeming more baggy then his usual.

On the other hand the one thing she didn't seem to worry about was how rude Sirius was towards her recently, she couldn't care less about him or his stupid friend. Well that's what she was telling herself, but no matter how many times she thought that it didn't stop the gut wrenching feeling that twisted her stomach when she saw the green vase that once held flowers she gifted to Sirius, shattered against the ground. The once beautiful flowers were now dried up and dead. All she could do was stare at it thinking about how even though she was beyond angry with him, she never once had a thought to get rid of the gift he gave to her. But perhaps she was wrong to think that. Y/n looked down at her hand, the ring she once thought was pretty now left a sour taste in her mouth, she hated Sirius for that.

The next day when James left his room early for quidditch practice, he had tripped up on his way out, only just managing to catch himself on the door. Peter, who was a very light sleeper and woke up when his friend was getting ready, watched James with a slight bit of worry that was mostly covered by joy at watching his best friend ‘almost’ eat shit “you alright there Bambi?” The joy he felt was obvious in his tone “well I'm certainly awake now Pete” the two quietly laughed together, hoping to not wake up the other two sleeping boys. James looked down to the floor to find out what he tripped on, he was expecting it to be the rug that covered the hallway, thinking that it was probably pulled up by their door. What he saw though was what appeared to be a shoe box, the name Sirius written on the lid. The curly haired boy seemed to completely ignore the fact he had quidditch practice in 10 minutes. As he picked the book up off the floor, he brought it into his room and shut the door behind him.

“What's that?” Peter nodded towards the book James held “dunno, it's for Sirius” the two boys looked over at their sleeping friend “reckon we should wake him?” Peter asked unsure about what to do. James considered it for a few seconds before placing the box on the bedside table of said sleeping boy. He gently shook his friend awake “James I swear if you're asking me to come to your practice again, I'll punch you” James laughed at the tired boys insult “no no Siri, there was a box outside our door with your name on it, almost tripped over it” Sirius couldn't help but let out a tired laugh at his friends misery. “What's in the box?” James shrugged, pulling it off the table and handing it over to Sirius, who was now sitting up. Sirius gently opened the box as James watched over his shoulder, the box was filled with deep red tissue paper. Sirius pulled out the first few layers and felt his heart sink into his gut. In the box was a smaller wooden box, the same one decorated with stars he had gifted to Y/n. there was also a single yellow carnation, just starting to wilt around the edges and seemed to droop slightly when held up. But what made the sad feeling in his stomach bubbled into pure dread was the dark green jewellery box, Sirius knew what sat inside, it was obvious. It was decorated with a crest and motto he was all too familiar with ‘Toujours Pur’. A sick part of him hoped it was a joke, that if he opened the box he'd find nothing but a note, explaining how it was just a cruel prank. He clung to that hope as he slid the box open, the beautiful ring seemed to gleam even in the dim room.

“Wow looks like someone has a secret admirer; some kind of trinket, a flower and even an expensive looking ring” James said as his hand landed on Sirius's shoulder. Peter stood up from his desk, walking over to check out the contents of the gift “holy shit that looks incredibly expensive, whoever it was seems to like you a whole lot” James nodded in agreement “yeah I mean not even my dad got mum something that expensive” Sirius just let out a strained laugh, the two boys just assumed he was nervous about the very pricey display of affection. “hmm, yeah that must really like me” with that Sirius packed the stuff back away into the box and slid it under his bed “well it's a Saturday, so I'm going back to sleep, and I, hopefully, won't wake up until mid-day, have a good practice Prongs” the boy threw himself back down onto his bed, pulling the sheet over him. James and Peter shared a smile, unaware of how miserable their friend was.

Though Sirius wasn't the only miserable one, Y/n herself was also sulking. Though instead of inside the confines of her room she was sat on the top floor of the Astronomy tower, no one ever came to a place meant for stargazing during the day, so it meant she would be left alone. Well mostly, the only other person who would ever think to even come here during the day, let alone on the weekend, was Regulus. After all it was the place they met, it was always the place the both of them went to if they were upset about something. Reglus slowly moved towards the crying girl, gently placing his hand on her back as he sat down next to her “oh mon chéri, what's wrong?” His voice was soft and gentle, his hand rubbing up and down against her back to soothe the girl. “It's just Barty still won't talk to me, no matter how hard I try and it's all Sirius's fault” the small boy froze up, his face hardening at the thought of his brother hurting his friend “what did my brother do to him” Y/n sniffled and looked up at Regulus, her sad eyes full of tears “he said such horrible things to him, and so did his stupid half-blood friend Lupin” she wiped her eye before continuing “they called him all sorts of things, like a pathetic Ravenclaw, and a pathetic pureblood, they even had the audacity to call him Evans pet bird” she shook her head “and then Sirius had the brilliant idea to throw out those stupid flowers I got him, and I mean literally, he threw them out of a window I think” Regulus eyebrows furrowed, he was beyond angry, violent thoughts of yelling at his brother filled his mind. “And after that I gave him back that god awful ring, if he can't respect me or my friends, then I simply refuse to marry him”.

The boy's face instantly relaxed as his eyes shot down to Y/n's left hand, and sure enough, the ring was nowhere to be seen. Quickly his thoughts of him yelling at Sirius was replaced by thoughts of his mother, she'd be beyond furious if she found out he ruined the engagement. He was so incredibly angry at Sirius, how dare he hurt two of his best friend's who never did anything to him, how dare he hurt them so much they stopped hanging around each other, that they both stopped smiling as much, that they cried harder than he'd ever seen before. Regulus wanted Sirius to feel the pain his friends felt, and he knew just how to do so. “Don't worry, I'll make sure to take care of him for you alright, he won't hurt you again,I promise Y/n” the young girl leant into his arms, tears starting to pour down her face again.

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nothingkillsyoulikeyourmind105 · 10 months

Text

“I’m With You Till The End”

Master List

TW- Angsty, Maybe a happy ending, brief smut.

“Don’t let me go Simon”

(Y/N) struggled to hold onto her ice axe. Feeling herself slip.

“Fuck, Soap!!! Soap Where Are You!!!!”

Ghost struggled to hold onto (y/n). The wind and the snow didn’t help with the situation.

“Baby look at me I’m not gonna let you go!!”

“Soap!!!”

Simon tried to pull her back up into his arms but the snow was too soft and the harsh winds didn’t help him either. The sounds of gunfire and bullets flying by scattered the mountain side. The enemy were getting too close. He had to try to pull her up before they are overwhelmed.

Simon was angry at himself that he couldn’t hold onto her and try to defend his team. He had to make a choice.

“L.t I’m taking heavy fire we’re trapped right now!!!”

“Bloody Hell Fuck!!”

“Baby listen to me hold on they are coming I can’t protect us like this. I will be right back I promise.”

“Simon!!?”

“Don’t leave me Simon!?”

She waited for him. But nothing the air went silent. She tried to pull herself up but the sounds of the wind blew against her. She pulled herself up but the snow on the edge broke off.

“Si-?”

She was falling off. She closed her eyes accepting her fate.

Ghost POV

“Where, what the hell happened?”

Simon sits up on his head rubbing his head. Looking around he notices flowers and cards laying around him. And the looks of someone stuff laying in a chair.

Soap walks into the room.

“L.t you’re awake?”

Soap runs over to him. Standing beside his bed. He calls Captain Price letting him know Ghost is awake.

“Where’s (y/n)?

Soap stops himself from telling him.

“Price will talk with you first?”

“Soap where is she?!”

Venom laced with his words. He didn’t want to admit to the reality of being without (y/n).

“Tell me where is she?!”

Simon slammed his fist into the wall. His knuckles started to redden and some parts started to bleed.

“SERGEANT MCTAVISH TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!!?!!”

Soap stepped back and held his hands up. Price finally walked in to talk with Simon about the mission.

“Simon please sit down please?”

Price held his hands up trying to defuse the situation.

Simon sat down and looked at his Captain.

“Where is she?”

She fell. By the time we got to her the ledge she was hanging off of gave away. She fell down the cliff. You were shot 4 times. You managed to save us in the process.

“But I didn’t save her and I promised her I would come back. It’s my fault she’s gone. What am I gonna do without her.”

“Baby, forgive me?”

Simon sits down on his bed. Thinking about the decisions he made up til now. She would still be alive with me if I stayed with her. She would still be here.

Price tries to talk with him but Simon ignores him.

Weeks have gone by and he still goes on missions. He continues his life as normal. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Simon is dead and he shouldn’t have been with anyone. The people that Simon held close and dear to him always ended up pushing up daisies. Not him. He was a curse that is supposed to be dead. That’s where Ghost came in to protect him from that. All emotions are dead and he’s dead to everyone.

There’s no Simon Riley only Ghost.

As the days went on he cleaned out his room but told everyone to leave (y/n) intact for him. He wanted to be the one to take her room down. And today was the day to do that.

Walking into her the smell of her shampoo and perfume lingered in the air. Laying down on her bed felt like an embrace from her. The bed smelled of her so much. He laid in her bed smelling her pillows and pulling her soft blanket off the bed and holding it close to him. Walking to her dresser pulling them open and seeing her clothes. Pulling out all of her shirts and pants and lastly her lingerie. He started to cry looking at them. She wore most of these when they had their intimate moments. Some of theses he bought for her. At the bottom was a box with a red ribbon on it. She wrote on there.

For our anniversary 🖤

Simon started to cry harder looking at her stuff and how she planned for things in the future. She stopped right there putting everything back. He walked over to her closet. The closet had all his missing black hoodies that Ghost lost over the course of their relationship. He softly chuckled at them. She had been stealing his clothes and wearing them. When he confronted her about this she would deny it completely. He knew she was stealing his clothes.

Simon couldn’t do this. He could face death and men trying to kill him in the worst way possible this was complete torture. His heart has been ripped from his chest. Now he’s picking up the pieces. Starting with her.

He laid down in her bed and falls to sleep holding her sweater.

Throughout the night he doesn’t have a single nightmare.

“Baby it’s me wake up. Si sweetheart wake up. Wake up go outside.”

Simon wakes up the sun is just now rising. He feel well rested but his heart aches. He gets up out of (y/n) to smoke outside. Just as he walks out he sees the base is already busy as is.

He sees Price talking to some guys. They look like a private military contractors. He keeps walking not wanting to be bothered. As he takes his drag he hears someone sneeze. It can’t be.

He stops immediately. Looking around that can’t be.

“Her sneeze?”

This is his mind playing tricks on him again.

The sound of her little yelps is heard again. Where is it coming from.

Simon looks back and sees (y/n hair color) he drops his cigarette running to her like his life depended on it.

“Baby is that you!”

Simon drops his cigarette running to her. She never ran so fast in his life.

“Simon!”

(y/n) turns around hearing his voice. She drops the gear she has in her hands and runs to him crying. Her hair flowing in the wind.

She runs up to him she jumps onto him. He rips his mask off immediately as she lays on him. The pain from falling on the ground doesn’t hurt him. He falls back to the ground with her capturing her lips with his. Her hair covers them. She hungrily smothers him in kisses. Simon does the same with her. Grabbing her waist and pulling her closer to him. Pulling away trying to catch his breath her eyes watering up and tears falling on his face.

“I thought you were dead Si?”

“You didn’t come back and I was scared that I lost you and I fell but at the bottom was a bed of dry grass and lots of soft snow. You promised me you were gonna come back?”

“Baby I failed to protect you. I broke my promise and I didn’t come back to save you.”

“Simon it’s okay I’m here now. I forgive you. If it was wasn’t for the KorTac guys I wouldn’t be here they found me when I was crawling through the snow. I broke my leg from the fall. I would’ve died out there if I didn’t crawl to open ground. I laid in the forest below all I saw were trees and all I thought of was you in that moment.”

“The guy in the snipers hood saved me. He spotted me out in the snow. He carried me to safety.”

“His name is König.”

“But Simon I’m so happy to see you.”

Simon got off the ground he picked up (y/n) and carried her back into the base to his room. While on his way he told Price he’s gonna take leave until further notice.

“Baby I know this isn’t the time”

Setting her down in a chair. He pulls out a little black box.

“I know I’m legally dead but I want to call you mine. I’m never gonna make that mistake of leaving you alone again. I’m with you till the end. I swear baby after this day I will worship you everyday of our lives. You name it and I will do it no hesitation. You mean everything to me and I want to marry you. And don’t worry I will find a way to make this work and happen. You only deserve the best.”

“Yes Simon Riley!”

“A million yes in this life time and in the next Yes!”

“And move your stuff to my room. You woman aren’t gonna live in a room by yourself. And that little white box with the red bow on it were gonna tear that to shreds tonight.”

“Oh Simon did you dig around in my room you naughty naughty ghost!?”

“Keep saying that (y/n)”

“Anything for you my (your nickname for Ghost)”

Meanwhile Outside

“Hey Captain Price, where’s (y/n)? I wanted to say goodbye.”

“She is maybe with Ghost you can maybe stop by his room.”

König walks into the base looking for (y/n) he finds Ghost room. Before he could knock.

“Don’t stop!”

“I don’t want to be able to walk after this Ghost!”

“You know I won’t stop. And I’ll keep that in mind baby. Be a good girl for me a take it all!”

The sounds of skin slapping each other and the elicit moans and the sounds of Ghost growling. The way her moans are muffled through the door.

König face gets so red. He walks away quietly never has been so awkward in his life. That was so traumatic for him. He’s killed many people over his years but this was too much for him. The young lady he rescued he had fallen for her. But now she’s in another room. With her boyfriend. And he heard her sweet moans.

He walked back out to the plane in complete shock. Price sees him again and tries to ask him is he got to say his goodbyes. König gives him a package and her gear to Price and says his goodbyes to him. He can’t string together a complete sentence.

Simon made love to (y/n). He worshipped her in and outside the bedroom. He never wanted her to feel alone or not have her needs met. He wants to be the only one to see her at her most vulnerable moments and to never ever let her feel alone and afraid.

He pledge his life to her and every mission they went on he made sure he was the only one to protect her. Her life is his top priority. Second comes the mission.

a/n credit to the artist for the gif. Name is label beneath the gif.

#simon riley x reader #simon riley angst #simon ghost riley #cod simon ghost riley #ghost cod #cod ghost #ghost #mw2 ghost #mw2 simon riley #simon riley imagine #simon riley #simon riley x you #ghost simon riley #simon riley fanfic #ghost x reader #cod mw ghost #fanfic ghost cod

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babyjakes · 1 year

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ever green, evermore | 4. difficult introductions.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

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summary | loving husbands jake and ari had always believed they were all each other could ever want or need. but one unusual summer, when their world is turned upside-down by an uncanny girl from down the street, they find that having someone to love, nurture, and care for together is the missing piece that finally completes their perfect family and lives.

characters | caretaker!jake jensen, daddy!ari levinson, wrenley beauchamp (original character)

warnings | mentions/depictions of domestic and sexual violence, mental health themes: anxiety/panic disorders, trauma and post-traumatic-stress, eating disorders (restrictive subtype), therapeutic methods and tools: exposure, age regression.

After such a difficult afternoon, Jake was a bit worried Wren might be scared away from visiting again. But luckily, their routine resumed uninterrupted; if anything, it almost seemed to the man as if the entire experience had actually brought him closer to the girl than he was before. It made sense, in a way, as she had shown more vulnerability than ever, and he had managed to maintain her trust through it all. He had done what he had hoped to do: gently encourage her to step outside her comfort zone while still respecting her emotional needs. In the days following, once he knew he and Wren were still on good terms, Jake found himself relieved that he had managed to take a few steps forward with his friend without completely pushing her too far.

For a while after that, the hardest part was simply the little one's apologies. They were plentiful and unyielding; it seemed she just couldn't adequately express her guilt and shame no matter how hard she tried. Jake was more than happy to listen to anything that might be on Wren's mind, and when the 'sorry's just seemed to keep coming and coming, he held no frustration or annoyance with her. He knew it was just her mind convincing her she had to make up for what she had "done." But it broke his heart to see her so anguished, especially when she often ended up in tears through her scrambled words. All he could do was accept her apologies and promise that she was forgiven, or even further, that there was nothing to forgive in the first place— of course no one was mad at her. Of course they understood. It just seemed as though it was going to take a good long while to convince Wren of that.

Weeks went by and Jake figured it would be best to just put off any further attempts at the meeting for the time being, even after the final apology had seemingly been given. He and Ari were in agreement that this would most likely be best, considering how upsetting the entire ordeal had been for the poor girl. But then, out of the blue, Wren surprised them both by asking for another go at it, herself.

It was early one morning as she and Jake tended the garden together, the courage to ask the question seeming to come from nowhere as her little voice piped up amidst the balmy heat of the summer air, "J-Jakey?"

Looking up from the blush-colored peonies before him, the man raised a gentle brow at her as he hummed, "Hmm? What's up, darlin'?"

Wren's hands paused over the greenery, her small fingers fiddling with her clump of weeds as she kept her gaze low. Bottom lip puffing out a bit, she couldn’t seem to make it past that point on her own. Sensing her hesitancy, Jake pulled back from his work, wanting to give her his full attention. "What's on your mind, sweet girl?" It was rare for her to ever speak first, even after all the time they'd spent together. She was just a quiet presence; she rarely initiated any conversation of her own.

"Just w-wanted to ask..." she mumbled, her voice barely loud enough for her friend to hear. Leaning in a bit to listen, Jake nodded encouragingly, though he knew it would probably take more coaxing than that to find out whatever was bothering the sheepish girl.

"Go ahead, sweetie. You know you can ask me anything," he murmured gently, giving her a small, sincere smile.

Managing a cautious gaze in his direction, Wren caught it, mustering up more courage through a few deep breaths. "Just wanted... I was wondering... I-I..." Eyes falling again, she finally let out the words that would come as such a pleasant surprise to Jake, "I-I was hoping maybe... maybe I could try again... m-meeting Mr. Ari, I mean."

The man’s eyes widened a bit at her words. Wren seemed a little unsure of how to handle his surprise, so he was fast to snap out of his shock. "Oh honey, I think he'd love if we could try again," he smiled, his excitement audible in his voice. "You really want to? We just haven't wanted to push, y'know... we know it was so difficult last time," he told her sympathetically. Wren nodded, her cheeks darkening a bit at the reminder. "And that's okay, bub-" he added quickly, "-we know this is all so hard; I'm so proud of you, chicky. C'mere," he breathed, abandoning his spot across the flower boxes to collect her into a warm embrace.

"I-I'd like to try again, please," she spoke softly into his shoulder. "I promise I'll do better, I-I... I won't back out this time." Pulling back slightly to look at her, Jake was a bit concerned by the sense of urgency in her voice; it was almost as if she were afraid she might be denied another chance, which certainly would never be the case.

"Hey cutie, hey..." the kind man cooed, brushing her hair back from her face, "of course you can try again, Wren. And even if you do have to stop, that's okay. You can have as much time as you need, as many tries as you need, okay? We're just so proud of you for trying, sweet thing. You're bein' so brave, so, so brave." Tucking her hair behind her ear, he cupped her cheek, gazing at her softly. "So, what were you thinkin'? We can do this all on your timing, at whatever pace feels best."

"Well..." blinking bashfully, Wren admitted, "I-I was thinkin' about how... you told me, Mr. Ari really loves lemon desserts, 'member?"

"That's right, he does," Jake confirmed with a grin. "Good memory, bubba."

Tapping the toes of her shoes together, the girl continued, "Was thinking... maybe I could make somethin' special for him. And then... y'know..."

"Sure," he nodded understandingly, filling in the rest of the timid thing's words. "Bring 'em on over and we can give this all another go? I think that's a wonderful idea, sweetheart. He's gonna be so excited; I can't wait to tell him." Thinking for a moment, he suggested, "Maybe you could bring them sometime later this week? I know he'll be finishing up a thesis today or tomorrow. That should leave him with plenty of free time to snack with us."

Wren nodded, and though her nervousness was plain as day on her delicate face, Jake was encouraged to see a teeny glimmer of hope shining in the sweet girl's eyes as she stood there before him, her little cheek cradled delicately into his tender hand. "I-I'll make something super yummy, I really hope he'll like it."

"I'm sure he will, chicky,” Jake was able to promise her without a doubt in his mind. “Ari's loved everything you've ever brought us."

As he entered back into the house later that morning, he could hardly wait to tell Ari the news. Almost tripping over himself as he kicked off his work boots, he made his way swiftly to the pair of glass doors at the entrance to the couple's shared office, giving a light knock. His husband could be seen in his usual spot, amidst scattered paperwork and his computer which occupied most of his L-shaped desk. Looking up at the sound of a visitor, the older man gave Jake a smile, motioning for him to enter.

"Hey honey, you two all finished for the day?" Ari mused, hitting save on his document as he pushed back a bit in his chair. Jake found his way to his own seat at his smaller workspace, relaxing back into the faux-leather cushion as he nodded. "Hot out there today, huh?" the doctor noted, "I've been feeling the heat of the sun through the windows. Glad you two weren't at it for too long."

"You'll never guess what she said," Jake smiled, his excitement seeping through his attempts to mask it as his husband returned his grin, happy to see his partner so happy. "I was so surprised, Ari; I could've cried."

"What'd she say, babe?" Ari asked, now intrigued. It was normal for the blonde to report back on his time spent with his friend; many times he had the sweetest stories to tell of little moments they'd shared, but this sort of excitement was something new.

"She asked if she could try meeting you again," Jake beamed, "she brought it up, all on her own. I thought for sure after what happened last time, she'd never want to give it another go. But it seems like she does really want to meet you, even though it's so difficult for her," he told him proudly. "She was so sweet when she asked, Ari. I wish you could've seen her."

"Oh my," Ari's voice swelled, "I certainly wasn't expecting that."

"Tell me about it," Jake sighed, shaking his head. "I'm so proud'a her. She's really come so far, even in just the time I've known her. Hopefully we can keep working towards the two of you finally getting to meet, face to face. She's gonna bring some treats later this week, after you're done with your paper. She wants to make them special, just for you."

"What a sweet girl," Ari hummed fondly, the thought of little Wrenley making him something special, despite all of her fear towards him, just melting his heart. "Well, that'll be all the more reason to keep working at it," he chuckled as he motioned to his mountain of papers, "I wish we could have her sooner."

"I was thinkin' we should approach things a little differently this time," Jake mentioned, mindlessly picking at a few specks of dirt on his pants as he spoke, "everything seemed to fall apart when you came out for those few moments. Maybe it would be best to get her inside first, just let her look around and see that it's safe."

"That might help," Ari agreed, thinking for a moment before adding, "I guess since she's never been in the house, she might not know what to expect. You guys can come in at her pace, get your shoes off and get settled, that sort of thing. Good thinking."

"We'll just take it one step at a time," Jake nodded. "I told her it'll be okay if she has to stop again; I don't want her to feel too much pressure. I know she's so embarrassed about how things went last time."

"Poor girl," Ari frowned, hating the thought of her having to feel such a way about something she couldn't even control to begin with. "One step at a time," he repeated Jake's words, "sounds like a plan to me, bub."

A few days later on Thursday afternoon, Jake finally got to send the anticipated text. 'Hey chicky, Ari finished up his thesis this morning. You free tomorrow?' Tagging the end of his text with a yellow heart, he hit send. A few minutes later, it was confirmed; Wren would bake that evening and make her way over in the morning. Ari and Jake were elated, spending most of the rest of the night trying to tidy up the house. While they certainly knew it might be another difficult day ahead, they couldn't wait to hopefully make more progress with the girl.

Around nine the next morning, Wren texted Jake to let him know she was heading over on her bike. He and Ari decided the older man would stay in the office while the pair of friends took their time in entering the home. "Good luck out there," Ari planted a kiss in Jake's hair before heading to the office to wait things out.

"Love you, big guy," Jake called after him as he took to pulling on his boots, standing in the entryway.

"Love you more, handsome!" Ari sang back before closing the office door behind him, leaving Jake alone for a few moments to collect his thoughts. He had a weird feeling about the day ahead, a good one. He tried to hold onto the fact that the whole thing had been the girl's own idea to begin with; that alone gave him hope that she might be able to make some big strides forward.

Taking his time, he headed out through the front door, deciding to leave it open while closing the glass storm door in its place. He thought maybe being able to see into the house would be comforting for Wren; he wanted to do everything he possibly could, down to the tiniest details, to help his friend feel safe. Walking down the gravel path away from the house, he was warmed gently by the morning sun as it stood beneath a thin veil of clouds in the sky. It wasn't too warm of a day, nice enough to open up the windows, the man thought to himself as he found his way to the front of the garden, stopping to wait as he gazed down the long road towards the hill. He could see a small figure traveling his way in the distance; as the minutes passed, it grew larger and larger, turning into a familiar body perched atop an ivory bike.

When Wren saw Jake waiting for her, she rang her bell in greeting like always, earning a smile from the blonde-haired man as he waved at the approaching girl. "Hi sweetheart," he greeted warmly as she made it to the edge of the drive, parking her bike in its place by the mailbox. "Nice out today, isn't it? Guess the sun's finally letting up a bit; this week sure's been brutal."

Gathering her basket, Wren nodded in agreement at Jake's observation as she made her way over to her friend, mumbling a meek hello. Her posture was already stiff; it wasn't hard for him to notice. When he pulled her in for a hug, he could feel her small frame trembling weakly against him. "Hey sweet girl," he softened his voice, holding her in his embrace for a few moments as he rubbed her back gently. "You're okay, there's no rush. I got you," he hummed, relieved to feel her relaxing a bit at his words.

When they pulled away from each other, Jake offered the girl a smile as he looked her over. "I like your dress, cutie. S'it new?" he tried to loosen her up with some small talk.

Looking down at her checkered beige apron gown, which she wore over a plain white shirt, Wren shook her head. "No, b-but I haven't worn it much this summer." Jake nodded, noticing it looked a bit heavier and warmer than most of her usual sundresses.

"Well it sure is adorable," he complimented. It was almost a bit of a routine they had. The man was always so impressed by her clothes; he commented regularly on whatever the girl happened to be wearing that day. Clearly she was quite the seamstress, certainly the most talented Jake had ever seen.

Wren gave a hum of bashful thanks as she crossed a foot nervously behind the other, prompting the boy beside her to take her hand carefully in hopes of comforting her. "How're you feeling, honey?" he asked, his voice low and sensitive as the little one's eyes fell to the gravel beneath her shoes.

Blinking her wide bambi eyes, Wren's voice struggled to come out steadily in her reply. "N-nervous," she admitted, carefully adding, "the cupcakes turned out nicely."

"Cupcakes, huh?" Jake smiled, taking the girl's basket from her to ease her load. He debated pulling her over to the bench, not sure if she wanted some time to get herself ready, or if she needed to just get things over with before her anxiety spiraled out of control.

"Mhm," Wren nodded, "lemon c-cake and... buttercream frosting."

"Those sound delicious, sweetheart," Jake reassured her, giving her hand that he still held a light squeeze. "What do you think, chicky? You ready to head in? Ari's gonna wait for us inside this time," he explained, not wanting anything to come as a surprise. "We can go in just the two of us, get our shoes off, that sort of thing. You can have a look around inside- we tried to tidy the place up as best we could," he chuckled lightly, hoping his carefree demeanor might help ease poor thing's relentless worries.

Wide-eyed gaze traveling up the now familiar path to the house, Wren forced down a swallow, nodding. "S-sure, that's alright," she hummed in feeble agreeance. Trying to take her response as a good sign, Jake smiled hopefully as he began to lead the girl in the right direction.

Their walk across the worn gravel footpath was slow, but at least it was something. Jake could sense the internal battle occurring in his friend's mind as she kept her gaze trapped warily on the front porch as they approached, barely willing to blink as if she expected something might jump out at any moment to ambush her. Holding steadily onto her hand, he murmured all the soft words of encouragement he could think of as they made their way, step by step. "Doin' just fine, honey. There's no rush; take your time..." "You're bein' so brave- I'm so proud of you, cutie..." "Look at that, we're almost to the porch! You're doin' so good, sweet thing. Just a little bit further..."

When the pair finally made it to the door, Jake was surprised a bit when Wrenley paused and looked up at him. Eyes wide with the most darling sense of disbelief, her voice swelled a bit as she cooed, "Look Jakey, m-made it!"

Raising his brow in helpless adoration, the blonde-haired man could feel his heart melting in his chest at the sweet girl's excited words. "That's right sweetie, look at how brave you were," he crooned softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "How're you feelin', buggy? Think you're okay to go inside?"

Appearing to muster up her courage with a deep breath in through her nose, Wren nodded. Raising up ever-so-slightly on the balls of her feet, she peered in through the storm door before her, her expression settling a bit as she took in what she could see of the home's interior. From that point, some of the living room was visible beyond the entryway; it all seemed ordinary-looking enough. "Think I-I can do it," she mumbled softly, her voice small yet laced with a bit of hopefulness.

At that point, it was going better than Jake could have hoped for. Grinning at his friend's response, he nodded, encouraging her, "Go ahead and open up the door then, honey."

The girl’s hand shook as she raised it to take the door’s handle, twisting as gently as she could to release its latch. Her attentive eyes widened slightly as she breathed in the mild air of the home, seeming to find some small sense of comfort in its scent. Jake simply watched as she gazed forward; after a few moments, he realized she might need a bit more encouragement to keep moving. “C’mon sunshine, watch the step up,” he told her gently as he entered first, still guiding her by the hand.

Wren seemed to be almost on her tiptoes as she followed her friend in, peering around curiously as he closed the door behind both of them. Jake’s heart broke a little in his chest as he watched her careful movements, recognizing her attempts to make as little noise and fuss as possible. She was the same way in the garden; it was particularly noticeable when the two were first getting to know each other. Over time she was able to loosen up somewhat, but that cautious, tentative nature never seemed to leave her entirely. It seemed like she was worried about taking up too much space, too much time, too much of anything. Seeing this pattern of behavior continue, Jake couldn't help but wonder what or who might have made her feel so guilty for simply existing.

Wren’s eyes scanned the home from left to right as they stood there in the entryway. From the hallway’s entrance, to the living room, over to the kitchen, past the office doors, and finally to Jake, she was able to at least conclude that the stranger she was so nervous to meet was nowhere in sight. Once she had had a chance to survey her surroundings, she seemed to relax ever so slightly. Jake smiled gently at her as her gaze came back over to meet his. “See? You’re safe. Nothing scary,” he hummed.

“Nothing scary,” she repeated. “Y-your house is so pretty, Jakey. So warm- and comfy.”

Jake’s face softened at her words. “Thank you, sweetheart. I’m so glad you think so. Oh- and look who decided to come say hi,” he cooed as a little black figure appeared in the entryway to the hall, letting out a faint meow at the sight of the new guest.

Wren’s eyes lit up at the sight of the cat, letting out a small gasp as she greeted him politely, “Oh, h-hello Mr. Socks. It’s very nice to meet you.”

To the pair’s surprise, at the shy girl’s words, the cat came right up to Wren without a second thought. Rubbing his face gently against her legs, he wove himself around her a few times, a warm pur sounding from his chest as he did so. Jake raised his brow at the cat’s unusual behavior. “Oh my, looks like he found his new best friend. He must really like you, honey. He usually won’t go anywhere near strangers.”

Leaning down a bit, Wren offered the creature her hand. He sniffed it for a few moments before giving a signal of approval by pressing his face right up against her fingertips, earning a soft giggle from the girl. As she gave him a few scratches behind his ears, which he leaned into with great pleasure, Jake only grew more amazed at her ability to win the little animal over with such ease. He wasn’t a very social cat, and never before had he been willing to even come close to an unknown visitor. It almost seemed like he felt just as Jake did about Wren; there was something that drew him to her.

After familiarizing himself with the friendly girl for another few moments, Socks turned and padded off back into the house, disappearing over into the kitchen. Setting down the wicker basket, Jake finally felt safe to let go of Wren's hand, brushing his hair back from his face as he asked, “Well, what d’you say we get our shoes off and head into the kitchen?” Earning a nod to his suggestion, he bent down, taking to unlacing his boots. Wren followed suit, lowering herself to undo the buckles on her Mary Janes. Slipping them off each foot one by one, she carefully set them next to the small bench against the wall before standing back upright.

In those few moments, a figure had appeared through the glass of one of the study doors. As it opened with a creak, Jake was caught off guard by a frightened yelp coming from his friend as she jumped back in surprise. “Oh, hey-” but his words came too late. As his husband watched from several feet away with a worried look, Wren stood frozen for only a moment before beginning to crumple down into herself, pressed up against the corner between the wall and the bench beside the door. Before either of the men could do anything to stop it, it seemed the situation was dissolving right before their eyes.

“Oh sweetie- okay,” Jake tried, “okay, it’s alright. Here, let’s-” Stepping towards the girl, his heart ached as she ducked behind him, attempting to hide away from the other man who stood over by the office. Wren reached out with shaking hands, which the blonde quickly took into his own. “Hey sweet girl, you’re okay- oh honey,” he frowned as he watched the poor thing collapsing into a state of pure panic.

“Oh hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” Ari attempted to apologize, only causing the little one to flinch back harder at the sound of his voice. Cheeks flooding with tears, Wren seemed entirely too terrified to form words. All she could do was cower behind Jake and cry.

The two men were struggling to handle the situation; it seemed it was yet another instance of poor timing on Ari’s part. Smoothing his hair back in worry, Jake did his best to hold onto his friend, trying to think of a way to bring her back down to a manageable state. During his pause of thought, it didn’t take long for Wren to begin scrambling to find an exit. Eyes darting towards the door, she lunged before Jake could say anything, but he was able to catch her as he stood between her and the handle. She collapsed pathetically against him, the two of them sinking down to their knees as she sobbed into his white t-shirt.

“Wren, sweetheart- hey,” Jake hummed, bringing a hand up to smooth over her hair as his other arm held her up against him. “You gotta breathe for me, bubba. Just breathe, you’re okay,” he tried to best to convince her. As hard as it was to hold her there as she struggled against his embrace, he knew it wouldn’t help any to let her run. It broke his heart to see her so distraught, but he still hoped somehow that there might be some room for trust to be built amidst the profound fear.

“P-please,” she sniffled, “please… n-n-no…” It was the weakest Jake had ever heard her, her broken words barely distinguishable through her sobs. Taking a brief look back over at Ari, Jake tried his best to not appear helpless as he held the poor girl upright. Sympathy and understanding shone across the doctor's face as he watched the pair, his eyes connecting with his husband’s as they shared a glance of mutual pity. As slowly as he could, Ari took a few steps towards the two, wanting to give Wren all the time she needed in the safety of her trusted friend’s arms before approaching and invading their space.

“You’re okay, honey. I’m here, Jakey’s here with you,” the younger man crooned, rubbing tender circles across the girl’s back as she cried. “You’re safe, darlin’. I got you, just try and breathe for me, chicky. Big breaths, you’re alright.”

Inching up just a few more feet, Ari paused as he reached the step up from the sunken living room’s carpeted floor to the hardwood of the entryway. Glancing over with the gentlest of expressions, he lowered himself to the ground as well, hoping it might help him appear less intimidating. When she peeked around Jake’s larger form, Wren’s sobs only worsened at the sight of the older man now closer than he was before. As she met his gaze for the first time, Ari was somewhat startled to see how deep the fear ran through her darkened eyes. She wore a look of distrust he had never seen on anyone before, not even the most severely traumatized patients he had encountered back during his practicing years, and that set off loud alarms as to what kind of situation he and Jake could really have on their hands. Hoping to help his partner start easing the poor thing back down, the brunette began to murmur softly, “Hey, shhhh…” The girl’s head ducked at the sound of his voice, her little face tucking back into her friend’s shirt as he continued to rub her back soothingly.

“Wrenley… c’mon, sweet thing,” Jake tried gently, pulling back just far enough to search for her avoidant gaze.

Unwilling to look him in the eyes, Wren shrunk even further at the shoulders, appearing as though she was doing her best to simply melt into the floor and disappear completely. “P-please Jakey,” was all she could choke out once more.

“‘Please’ what, honey? How can I help, sweetheart?” Jake crooned in response.

“P-please…” Her voice trailed off as she seemed to be searching for the right words, acceptable ones as she tugged on the blonde’s hands pleadingly. “S-so scary, please Jakey…”

“Why’s it scary, bubba? Can you help me understand?” he murmured as he brought a hand up to brush back the little one's hair from her face, earning a weak whimper and wince as she trembled beneath his touch. “Wanna help you, darlin’. Wanna make it feel not so scary, can you tell me more? Let me help you, sweet girl. Just wanna help."

Bottom lip wobbling as the man did his best to coax more information out of her, Wren snuck another glance over at Ari before finally bringing her teary gaze up to meet the blonde’s. Jake could hardly handle seeing the distress overflowing from the girl’s baby blues; it took everything in him not to wrap her up safe in his arms and give in to her every broken plea. “S-so scary,” she repeated, earning an understanding nod from Jake as he encouraged her with his eyes to say more, “s-scary… gonna… please, he’s… s’gonna hurt so b-bad, Jakey.”

Both of the men's hearts dropped to the pits of their stomachs at the poor thing's admission of her true fears. With the wind nearly knocked out of him, Jake found himself having to fight off his own tears as his friend's words processed in his mind. Furrowing his brow, he smoothed the girl's hair back once more as he dared to stare her straight in the face. His voice came out weakly, "Wrenley, honey..." It was almost unbearable to look at her, those big, scared eyes filled with such a haunting sense of desperation and need. In that moment, Jake could run from it no further; he had no choice but to accept that someone had hurt his sweet little bird enough to make her this way.

From his safe several feet back, Ari was just as devastated at the progression of Wren's episode as his husband. Though of course he had the instinctual urge to give the poor girl all the comfort he could fathom, he knew that he needed to wait and let her seek it from where she was already comfortable. It was more than difficult; he was a softhearted, nurturing man in nature. But he knew his premature intervention would likely only make things worse, and so as much as it pained him, he simply rested his weight back as he knelt there, sharing a sorrowful yet confirming glance with Jake when he looked over.

"Sweet girl..." the younger man cooed, his voice low as he tried to find somewhere to begin his reasoning. "What d'you mean, 'hurt?' No one's gonna hurt you, cutie. You're safe- I promise you're safe here, sweetie."

Eyes falling back to the floor, Wren withered as she searched for words to explain herself, seeming wary of both the men's expressions of shock and alarm. "Just..." Wearing a heartbreaking look of something close to shame, she continued, "b-big. Strong, if he... gonna... j-just..."

Feeling guilty as his friend struggled to communicate her worries, Jake nodded gently. He could somewhat understand what she meant; Ari was, after all, about as close to a real-life giant as a man could get. With whatever sort of fight-or-flight she was being thrown into at the mere presence of an unknown person, the same kind of trauma response she had collapsed into when first meeting Jake, it made sense that the older man was presenting a much greater challenge than he had, himself. "I know, honey. I know it's so hard," the blonde murmured, "but I promise you, Ari would never do anything to hurt you. If he tried, I wouldn't let him- but he just wouldn't, chicky. He really, really wouldn't. No one's gonna hurt you here, Wrenley. In this house, with me and Ari, you're safe. You're always gonna be safe, sweetheart." With one of his hands wrapped around her smaller one, he gently linked their pinkies, giving a light squeeze to seal his promise.

Thinking it might be an okay time to try and start providing some reassuring words of his own, Ari nodded sincerely at his husband's words. "Wrenley? Honey, can you listen to me?" he hummed softly, trying not to deflate as the girl's tears once again worsened at his interruption. She tucked herself away into Jake's arms at the stranger's words, prompting the younger man to begin rubbing her back once more as she shook and wept helplessly. "Jake's right, sweetheart. I'm not gonna hurt you; I would never. You're such a special girl- you're Jake's best friend. Did you know that?"

Remaining hidden in the safety of her friend's arms, Wren managed a sniffle, unable to give a response to the man's attempts. Hoping her maintained state might be a better sign than coming undone any further, Ari decided to continue. "You've been such a big help in the garden, and we're always so delighted by the treats you bring us. You're the best baker I've ever met; I'm sure Jake feels the same way."

"Sure do," the blonde added encouragingly as he rocked the small girl in his arms. "Maybe sometime we can have you over to bake; we've got a big kitchen with plenty of space, and Ari got me some new kitchenware for Christmas. You can show us whatever magic it is that makes your goodies so yummy."

"That would be so fun," Ari nodded in agreement, trying to smile through his sadness in hopes of lifting the poor thing's sunken spirits. "You know all those little cards you made? The ones you put on your baggies with the pretty ribbons- the ones that said 'Mr. Ari?'" That seemed to catch Wren's attention as she lifted her head up just the tiniest bit, though she still stayed wrapped up in the safety of Jake's embrace. It was a small, subtle movement, but it was enough; seeing her respond in even just the slightest way to his efforts filled Ari with hopefulness that he might finally be getting somewhere. "I keep them all in a little stack on my desk," the man revealed gently, adding, "Every time I see them, I think about you and how special you are to Jakey, and to me. I could never hurt you, angel. You're too important to us; we care so much about you."

"So much, buggy. Ari's right; you're our special girl," Jake cooed. Praying he wasn't just imagining it, he could almost feel the little one starting to relax the slightest bit in his arms. He hoped more than anything that their soothing words were getting through to her; both of them did.

Softening his expression as much as he could, Ari was similarly picking up on small signs of progress. With faint optimism present in his voice, he asked, "Sweetheart? Do you think you could try and look at me?" It broke his heart to receive a doubtful whimper from the small girl, though he just hummed mildly, "I know, honey. I know it's hard, but you're bein' so brave- you know that? Jakey and I are so proud of you," he commended. "You made it all the way in; I know that must've been so difficult, and now you're stayin' here with us; you're doin' so well, angel. So, so well."

As the doctor crooned his praises, it was visible to both him and his partner that his efforts were slowly but surely working. Now more than anything, Wren was simply slumped against Jake, no longer trying to run. Bringing his hand up to stroke softly over her light golden hair, Jake continued his rocking motions, the feeling of her small body wrapped in his filling his heart with such a sense of pride and love.

"There you go, sweet girl," Ari murmured, the sight before him now seeming a million times more manageable than it was even just a few minutes ago. "You're okay, Wrenley. You're safe, see?" Softening his voice even further, he dared to ask again, "Do you think you could looking over here, honey? You did it before, remember? Just wanna show you nothing bad will happen, darlin'. Wanna show you it's safe, d'you think we could just give it a try?"

Keeping his movements as subtle as he could, Jake shifted their positioning to make it easier for the girl to look over at the man if she chose. There was a period of silent pause, both of them eagerly holding their breath as they waited to see what the little one might do. And to both of their amazement, after gathering up all the courage she could into her tiny trembling frame, Wrenley finally lifted her head up ever so slightly to gaze bashfully over at Ari through a fresh veil of tears.

As her deep blue eyes met his own, the man thought he had never felt so touched by another human being in his life. It wasn't the kind of affection he had for Jake; it was something completely different and new. It was the way a person might look at a newborn fawn when seeing one for the first time. There was such a profound feeling of tenderness, along with a heaviness to the situation that couldn't be ignored. As he knelt there, face-to-face with the girl at last, there was an unmistakable sense that he was cradling her entire fragile world in his hands. Her vulnerability shone through her eyes; she had let him in the door. There was no turning back. And in that moment, all Ari wanted to do was prove to her that he would do just as Jake had done, that he would protect her heart and treat it with the care it deserved.

Relief and compassion washed over his face as he gave her his softest smile, humming, "Hi there, pretty girl. See? Completely safe." Resting his hands on his knees, his heart all but melted as she gave him the teeniest of nods as Jake rubbed her back again proudly, mumbling sweet words of praise in her ear.

Catching notice of the little yellow head poking out of the girl's dress pocket, Ari's smile widened as he asked, "Is that your ducky, sweetheart? Jakey's told me all about him- I've heard he's quite the little gardener, just like you. Does he help you bake, too?" He didn't mind in the slightest if to any outsider it might seem silly; he was more than happy to treat the stuffed animal like a living being if it might help his new friend feel more at ease.

Surprising the couple once more with her bravery, Wren offered a mild nod. "I didn't know he likes to bake," Jake played along, glancing lovingly down at the little figure. "You'll have to come to our baking day, Ducky! It'll be a party in the kitchen!"

"It's very nice to meet you, Ducky," Ari hummed adoringly, giving plushie a gentle wave. In a moment the men both found all too precious, Wren's little fingers came up to find one of the duck's wings, having him give a wave back to the doctor.

Jake finally felt safe enough to relax in his embrace of the girl, turning to shoot Ari a triumphant smile. The older man smiled back softly; there was an incredible sense of calm that washed over the three friends as they sat there in the entryway of the home, seemingly past the worst of the group effort. Resting the side of her little head against Jake's chest, Wren continued to look over at his husband, the storminess in her eyes receding at last.

"You wanna tell Ari what you brought?" the boy asked his friend gently, earning an intrigued look from the brown-haired man as he nodded encouragingly. "She made 'em special, just for you," the blonde gushed as he motioned towards the basket with his head. "She knows you love lemon."

"I do; that's my favorite," Ari murmured with a smile.

Blinking sheepishly, Wren's voice was as soft as ever as she told him, "M-made cupcakes, sir. Lemon cake a-and... and buttercream frosting; it's my Nana's special recipe." Ari hummed approvingly, finding her mildly old-fashioned manners to be rather endearing; she was just too sweet, exactly as Jake had described her.

"That sounds so special, darlin'. We've got plates and drinks in the kitchen- what d'you say we go give them a try? I can't wait to finally give my compliments directly to the baker." After pausing to look up at Jake, who gave her a reassuring nod, Wren nodded at the suggestion. "Perfect. Here, I'll show you the way."

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moldycantaloupe · 17 days

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Lou I come once more with Ghoul thoughts ™️

I saw a post a while ago about giving Aurora angst, and I can't stop thinking about it. Freshly summoned Aurora being pushed to the side, sort of forgotten as the pack dotes on Phantom, because they're the new quint. Of course they're more important than her, why should she complain? But it gets lonely for her, not being able to bond with the ghoul she was summoned alongside because they're put on such a pedestal away from her by the rest of the pack. It gets worse on tour, not being able to fully bond with anyone because of how busy they all are.

Idk, lonely Aurora.

hello moon! I found Stardew valley a couple days ago and well, you know. been MIA

I saw the post, too! I'll be honest, I don't really care for the "pack forgets phantom" trope too much, maybe because i see it all the time at this point, but it's a good point to bring up!

Aurora being taught the basics of earth and then just being forgotten. She's a multi, the pack figured, and Sunshine and Swiss were independent when they were summoned; both actually preferred to be by themselves, so why wouldn't Aurora want that space? But she doesn't know that about them, so she really is just casted to the side.

Aurora, crying into the dark of her room while the rest of the pack is sleeping peacefully. Because she's apparently nothing while perfect Phantom gets everything. It's infuriating. It's devastating.

Aurora, eyes down to her plate quietly during breakfast. they only ask her the pleasantries- "How'd you sleep?" "Good." "mmm." before going about the morning.

Aurora, who has to lie through her teeth when Papa questions her. Who has to tell Papa that "yes, Papa, they treat me well. I am learning well, and am getting along with everyone."

Aurora, who decides it's because of her multi-ness. She's a jack of all trades but master at none, why on hell's green earth would they want such a ghoul as herself? But they love Swiss, and they speak so highly of Sunshine, her predecessor. What makes her different?

Aurora, fully breaking down in the middle of her room one night because she sees herself in the mirror, eyes darkened and emotions vacant. She knows this isn't her. She's been made into nothing, and who's fault is it, really? She doesn't know who to feel angrier at; herself or her pack. No, not her pack. They never were

... Aurora, not hearing the door open over her wails until the soft hand of Cumulus' is on her back.

Aurora, suddenly surrounded by multiple members of the pack in the middle of her room; Cumulus, Cirrus, Rain, Mountain. Phantom.

Aurora, confused and relieved but still so angry, as the pack members pour their heart out to her and ask for her forgiveness, as if she's transcendent enough to give it. As if she could trust them.

Phantom, taking hold of her balled up fist and lifting it up to their forehead. she knows of this gesture; it's acceptance, peace, a million "I love you's" in one motion. She breaks into a million pieces in their hands.

Aurora, days later, still wary of the pack but trying to make amends. Going with Sunshine to her first real practice. Sunshine, who had no idea what was happening until days ago, immediately took to protecting her. Aurora found it funny.

Aurora, weeks later, laughing at Swiss being so obliviously head over heels for her. Aurora, who sleeps and cuddles with Phantom nearly everyday. Aurora, who blushes when Mountain kisses her knuckles in greeting. Aurora, who purrs in comfort when all the ghoulettes dote over her.

Aurora, months later, in the first group huddle right before a show, casting her eyes over to Papa and seeing him beam at her. Aurora, who finally got her acceptance.

#i did not mean for this to get long #o well #also wrote this on my phone #lou answers #lou writes #nameless ghouls #the band ghost #aurora ghoulette #phantom ghoul

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crazy-final-girls · 1 year

Text

my insides are red, and yours are too.

ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: quite a bit of plot oopsies, daddy issues, a little bit of violence, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, not beta read so its literal shit writing 💀💀

a/n: i cannot believe i have actually done this. use this as evidence for me to be sent to a psych ward. also he whimpers BYE

he’s got you.

you’re in the police station, with sam and tara and he knows that while he might not be able to have tara, he’ll be able to have you.

you’re so naive, so easily manipulated. sam and tara couldn’t be twisted as easily - not with sam’s strong values of not to trust, not to forget and certainly not to give up, installed in her from her paternal blood.

but you don’t have that. you’re more shy, more afraid, more scared to rock the boat and created waves because what if you’re wrong? so in the new york police department, while mindy is getting stitched up and sam is pointing fingers at anyone who dare look at tara the wrong way, he feigns confusion and earnestness as sam reads out the list of evidence she created on notes app the moment she put two and two together.

after all, who are they going to believe? the young girl who’s the daughter of california’s most famous serial killer, who has a tendency to take joy in her self-defence kills and who never got checked out for PTSD after ripping her boyfriend to shreds? or him, the intelligent, nerdy son of the trustworthy detective?

sam’s seething by the time detective bailey steps in, and you make yourself small. he can tell you feel stupid, so stupid, and guilt is so thick he can cut it with his knife. while sam is being cooled down by tara and told there’s nothing they can do now, he walks up to you.

“i’m sorry,” you whisper, and cast a begging glance to tara and sam. they don’t return it - and that’s their first and final mistake. you need validation, you need someone to soothe your doubts and quell your worries. you need someone to tell you that it’s not your fault, it’s alright, you’re going to be okay.

and he’d gladly step in for that role if it means he can finally have you.

“it’s okay. it’s over now,” he says. he’s gotten good at playing the victim, with a pale face and sad, betrayed puppy eyes. he holds your hands that shake and tremble and he can tell that you’re conflicted between the fast, exhilarating life that comes with being friends with sam and tara versus the safe comfort that comes with being friends with him. nerdy, shy, studies-economics ethan. “you’re good.”

you breathe shakily and wince when sam and tara are escorted out; sam sending dark glares to ethan that mirror her father’s look so much it’s disturbing.

“well,” detective bailey says. “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. seems being a psychotic manipulator runs in the family.”

you know that isn’t true. that sam is a genius and god knows that maybe her farcical accusation is right.

but you also know that the evidence is strung together poorly and mostly relies on lack of alibis, and you also know sam has almost driven herself mad in her attempt to keep tara safe and distance herself from her father's legacy.

and so you let yourself drown in ignorance and trust ethan. you let him hug you despite the fact you know you don’t deserve forgiveness and you let him tell you that it’s okay, everyone makes mistakes, she tricked you. you let yourself smile at him; that smile that charms everyone and earns his understanding. he offers you a ride back to your apartment and you accept.

if you trust him enough to be in a car with him, he wonders what else he can manipulate you into doing.

it all goes to shit pretty fucking quickly when kirby shows up and suggest they check out the theatre again, considering last time they were interrupted by mindy being stabbed. he hurries into his long ebony cloak and slides on that stupid ghost mask, before hurrying off, blending in with the halloween crowd.

his dad looks him in the eye, a certain glare he’d seen all throughout his childhood - don’t fuck this up. in a way, he knew he was kind of bound to - nevermind that he was the gifted kid, the intelligent kid, the only kid to make a life for himself. he’d always be a disappointment in his father’s eyes - never the firstborn son or sole daughter. just the in-between kid, born for his older siblings to have a playmate.

and this time, he wants to make his dad proud. he admits it; there’s something that runs thick in their blood, something seriously fucked up that makes them love to kill and kill for love. he loves the adrenaline rush and feeds off the fear of those he’s squeezing the life out of. it makes him feel in control in a life where he’s had very little control.

and yet, he doesn’t want to take it this far. he doesn’t want to end an entire bloodline because some illegitimate daughter of a psycho killed his brother (and maybe even rightfully so). and he certainly doesn’t want to kill you - not when you’re the only one who wholeheartedly believes he’s innocent.

you’re fighting in the rafters and he’s got you, now. he lifts the knife above his head like so many before him, but, like the coward he is, he hesitates when he sees the fear in your eyes. this time, it doesn’t make him feel powerful or in control. it just makes him feel like shit; like the older brother he swore to overshadow one day.

you take the moment of hesitation to land a solid punch, knocking him off you. you bless your high-school theatre days - you know a layout of a theatre pretty well, and take off, away from the rafters. you run, too tired to check if sam or tara or kirby are okay. you know they’ll be okay, anyways. they have years of experience and the DNA of the original killer himself on their side.

you run out into an alley, but your blood turns to ice when two hooded figures stand in your way to safety. they don’t notice you at first - you hide behind a dumpster that reeks of october in new york, and watch as the two of them discuss fight plans.

“you let her get away?! what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“i’m sorry, okay?” ethan seethes, rolling his eyes underneath his mask. he knew that his dad only saw his older brother and his older brother’s talents, but jesus, his dad here is acting like ethan never received any manipulator genes at all. “i didn’t mean to.”

“you never mean anything.” his father spat is response. “you’re a disappointment.”

“well, i’m sorry i’m not enough like richie for you. sam was right. he made his side piece do all the work and that got his throat slit by girlfriend.”

“you take that back.”

“no,” he shrugged. “i’m sick and tired of doing this for you.”

his father gripped his knife harder.

“ethan, you can be a part of this, or you won’t. this is your last chance.”

there’s no denying he likes the kills. he likes the chase, likes the screams. but there’s no way they’re going to be able to take down everyone. he needs to get out of this unscathed, and he’s willing to throw his father (who never gave a shit about him until he was convenient, anyways) under the bus to escape an innocent man.

“i want out.” ethan responds, composed and certain.

he doesn’t notice his father’s knife twisting in his hands until it’s too late.

“you were always a disappointment. you never stood a chance in taking down the carpenter girls. leave this job for the real baileys; your sister and i.”

he prepares himself for the stab and thinks he deserves it; but it never arrives. there’s the sound of sliced flesh and then a squelching sound. maybe he’s been stabbed and doesn’t realise it.

his father collapses, spluttering, and there you stand; bloody knife in hand and pretty little red blots on your face.

“ethan.” you say, voice hoarse from all your screaming. instinctively, he pulls his mask off, and instantly kicks himself for doing so.

shit.

“i-“ he begins to construct a story in his head. he was manipulated. he never killed anyone. he didn’t know what was going on. he was grieving. he was under duress. whatever legal excuse he’s overheard the law students chat about, and whatever emotional response he can extract, he’ll take. he has no time to die anymore.

“it’s over now.” you speak so softly that the autumn gust of wind and honking off cars in the busy city will whisk the words away. your words are reminiscent of what he said to you in the police department, and you step closer - eyes illuminated by the bright lights that shine.

he freezes, feels himself stiffen and his skin prickle with a sudden chill. you jut your chin out and you smile. you smile that same charming smile that inebriates anyone. he runs over his encounters with you like a broken record, because he swears, he swears he had you wrapped under his finger and in his clutches.

and then he realizes. oh, how he realizes.

you’re smarter than you look, and far more cunning than he’ll ever be. you’re the one who’s been in control. you’re the one who’s been the mastermind in this game of chess, who played the twisted game and won.

he swallows thickly.

you hold his leather-gloved hands, and your face that shines pink in the night from the city, it grows grim as you stare at him for what feels like hours. finally, you say “i don’t want to know” in a way that makes him think you know everything. he begins to panic - this is his last card to play, because if you don’t believe him, then sam and tara won’t believe him, and then nobody will. “whatever lie you’re spinning, save it for the police.”

well, that sounds better than “i hate you and i’m going to tell everyone you’re the killer!”. and sure, maybe you’re the mass manipulator he thought he was. maybe you’re the one in control now. but you’re still holding his hand, fingers at his pulse, standing close to him and blinking slowly, eyes glazed over with dullness. it hits him that he doesn’t truly know you - he doesn’t know how much you know, what you truly think of him and how much you trust him. he doesn’t know if he’s the player or the played. he doesn’t know if his excuse will bag him a get-out-of-jail-free card.

but he knows there was a twinkle in your eye when you stabbed his dad. and he knows that you offer him that conniving smile that twinkles with a secret knowledge, a shared affinity. he knows that American Psycho and Pearl are your favourite movies and he knows that maybe you’re as twisted and bloodthirsty as he is, and just weren’t brave enough to take action.

either way, you’re here with him, and that’s all that matters.

the police take his statement. they believe him when he pins the blame on his fucked-up family.

who wouldn’t? he’s a shy kid that’s been in the shadow of his siblings for years and probably been neglected by his workaholic father who never even liked him in the first place. he lost his brother, and when you’re grieving nothing makes sense except for the love you had for that person. he can barely vote, let alone be mature enough to not be manipulated by his father he’s always craved validation from.

the lawyers use some fancy defence that gets him only a community service sentence and a government-assigned therapist. within months, he’s back at his university in the heart of NYC and back to his economics major.

people whisper in the halls sometimes, but in new york, he’s not the craziest thing there. of course, sam’s friend group are both skeptical and sympathetic - they know all too well the pain of a father, and yet, they also know that grooming isn’t an excuse for going on an attempted murder spree and enjoying those kills.

he doesn’t care anymore what most people think of him. like you said, it’s over now.

but you aren’t most people. you’re different.

because you aren’t supposed to know. you know what he did and what he lied about, and you know he’s still lying now. you know and you don’t care. you don’t care at all, he thinks - you spend your weekends with him, watching bad horror movies to ignore that horror movie he created in your life.

he should be concerned about your lack of care and worry about this. you aren’t supposed to have the upper hand and be in complete control of the situation. he’s supposed to be the one making you blush and making words tumble out of your mouth pathetically. and yet, the complete opposite is true. he finds himself fall into a routine - sleep, eat, do economics and business class and then see you. for you to be absent in his life would cause the biggest stab wound of all - if his life was once sink or swim, all he’d wanna do is drown in you.

he isn’t like most men you’ve had. he isn’t fast and demanding and loud and obnoxious. he isn’t an idiot who will forget your name by the end of the week. he isn’t an asshole who puts their own wants and needs first when it comes to love. no, he’s the complete opposite of that.

most memories of him post-october stay clear. fridays in december at some frat party, getting drunk and high off dollar-store tequila and weed. walking back to your dorm, a feverish heat clinging to the two of you like your ugly christmas sweater and fuzzing your mind.

but there were other aspects, more physical and sensual. a more murky part of that winter memory, obscured by a promiscuous haze. you don’t remember much after the clock strikes ten on a friday night after exams and you both become pretty drunk, but you know he was special.

he was slow and begging and quiet and shy. he would plead with those doe-brown eyes to give you everything he could offer - body, mind, soul; whatever you asked for. if you said to run, he’d ask how far? and if you said to jump, he’d ask how high?

in your dorm, with the door locked, he’d kiss you, and he tasted red - red like cherry cola chapstick, red like deep passion and red like blood, the metallic taste still lingering after october. but you didn’t care. you relished that taste, and the way he’d kiss you on your jawline, the curve of your neck, sucking and biting softly. you loved how he’d give rather than receive. how he wanted to give.

“like this?” he whispered, flexing his fingers as you’d ask. your brow furrows and you rest against his shoulder, nodding against his skin. he’s best at pleasing you like this, making you come undone with the touch of his fingers and shape of his mouth. he brushes a bit of hair from your face and presses deeper, harder, and feels that control surge back when you gasp, covering your mouth with your palm.

“yeah,” you moan, biting your lip. he’d twist his head and kiss your neck and this desire for him would yank so hard in your chest it became physically painful. you wanted more. and good fucking thing ethan loved giving you more.

“okay,” you pause, holding his wrist, and he immediately stops. you look at him, and he gets the memo; making a pitiful noise that would’ve been embarrassing a year ago but he doesn’t think twice of now as he sinks to his knees - like a beggar, begging for you to let him deliver you this. praying towards you, resting his chin against your abdomen and looking at you with his dark, intoxicating eyes, half-lidded and hidden by the curtain of his brunette bangs.

he slowly creeps his soft, gentle hands; always careful, always slow, up your thighs like vines and hold onto your hips.

you’re selfish. you bite down on your lip, and taste a copper flavour in your mouth, when he’d press his lips against your inner thigh, revering every inch of your being. you’re already wet; he’s been fingering you for god knows how long, but he would’ve kept going until his fingers ached if you asked him to do so.

stupidly, embarrassingly, you used to say he’d eat you out like he was starved for it. perhaps he is. he feels as though his craving for blood has been replaced with a taste for you as he licks at you, your thighs locking him in place and your hand pulling ever-so-slightly where it is buried in his curly hair. maybe your plan all along was to get him addicted to it in the hopes that he wouldn't kill again. if it was, then it's working.

the only person he’ll kill for now is you.

he hears you exhale, "just like that," and your hips rise for just the smallest bit of friction, the smallest zap of heat that sends shivers down your spine. he closes his eyes and angles himself in a way that he knows will make you twist the sheets in your fists, will make you slam your head into the pillows, will make you cry out. his own hips try searching for friction, but it’s useless; he knows he can't come until you touch him, and you still haven't. nevertheless, he doesn’t find himself to be frustrated or annoyed; not when you’re letting him do this. not when he can hear you gasping above him. that thought alone makes him moan, and the hum of his whimper forces your back to arch.

he’s done this enough times that he knows when you’re about to climax. your hand in his hair gets so tight it stings as you clutch the sheets. your thighs and legs are tensing up, and he can feel it. the small, punched-out moans that are torn out of your mouth, which are so loud they almost sound like sobs, are what really give it away.

you come hard, arching your back and almost tearing the sheets in your grasp. he smiles; the same way you smile, all-knowing and sly. your fingers reach down to caress his cheekbones and bring his face up; there's tear-tracks down your cheeks and a grin blossoming on your face. you graze one hand against his jawline; your other hand in his hair, a reminder that you're in control, and he likes that. if he'd known this was what it took to convince you that he's trustworthy, that he's yours, he would've done it much, much earlier.

and when he kisses you; it tastes dangerous. fierce. passionate. but that doesn't scare you anymore - it never did, and it never will; because you're the one in control, you're the one who knows, you're the one he's hopelessly devoted to; you've got him.

jesus fucking CHRIST i can't believe i wrote this. send help girlies xoxo

#ethan landry #scream 6 #scream vi #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry smut #i aint seeing the pearly gates anymore 🤣🤣

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