Tumgik
#it all feels very sanitized to me
la-stelle · 5 months
Text
I’ll say it. PJO should not have been adapted by Disney.
19 notes · View notes
local-magpie · 5 months
Text
ngl considering the increasing focus i see in leftists on walkable cities, public transport, and other urban features, im... really not surprised people keep thinking "rural" just means south. rural folk really are invisible huh
14 notes · View notes
dishsaop · 2 months
Text
does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
10 notes · View notes
girlscience · 9 months
Text
the RAMPANT consumerism on the section of youtube I have ended up on recently is actually kind of disgusting to me. if I see one more video of a perfectly manicured hand with a hint of a sweater sleeve putting things in a target cart or using 100 bottles for a skin and hair self-care day or using 50 different cleaning products in an enormous, pristine, white home while a random pop song remix plays in the background I'm going to start destroying things.
#I know exactly how I got here#there is a specific crossover of decluttering/production hacks/workout plans/minimalism/motivational videos that leads directly#to very wealthy stay-at-home women doing sunday resets and target hauls and restocking and organizing the guest bedroom#and 4 hour pre-vacation self-care videos#but it is so BAD. I am not saying don't buy things or take care of yourself or anything like that#I literally have mentioned several times in the past two weeks that I was waiting on packages in the mail!#but GOD. the difference between buying a set of dvds I'm going to use until they fall apart#and literally having 4 bookcases of skin care products is ASTRONOMICAL#I cannot imagine a single reason anyone would ever need that much stuff#and it's All so sanitized and perfected and nothing can be out of place and it's just awful#that girl aesthetic/it girl/clean girl aesthetic/etc etc#and every single woman in these videos is perfectly shaped and tanned and hair done up#and they all wear these matching set workout fits#just oh my god girl!!!!!! what are you doing????!!!!!??#I don't know. I don't know that there's a point to this besides me complaining and being upset#but it's just so antithetical to the way I want to live and I know it's so bad for the environment#and I know it is encouraging so many people to look and act just like that#and I hate it!!!! it feels like we are never getting out sometimes for real#maybe I'm being mean. maybe they are actually very conscientious of the environment#and maybe they are only showing a once a month shopping trip#and maybe they have just been sent a ton of PR packages that they have to figure out how to store#but. it really doesn't feel or look that way
9 notes · View notes
highwaydiamonds · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
#journaling#art journaling#i've done couple spreads/pages from these affirmation cards i got last year with a set of stickers & planner thing i purchased#they weren't designed for this but i've used a couple of them that way#i feel like this is a very simplified - not exactly sanitized - but not NOT sanitized either version of how i've felt about things lately#there's been rather a lot of 'the suck" but i a working to try and keep my head up#oh - and because of the shiny surface the rectangle in the top left - is an image of hokusai's the great wave#i am so full of FEELING - i don't know where to put it all. it's like a spill running in too many directions#i don't know how to organize them or say them all without spreading some kind of infection around- triggering/dumping on other people#and maybe i am also simply tired on top of everything else - smh - but i am tryong to sit with these waves#to remind myself that i need to do what i can to mitigate things - that i know what some of these things ARE - even if i don't like them#and that i CAN do them - regardless#and the stuff i cannot change - that i don't have to absorb it all - that i can see it - and name it and admit it sucks and try and let go#and if - let go- isn't quite right then it's more do what i can to keep going anyway - then that's what i need to keep trying to do#i feel like i keep coming back to the mountain goats' lyrics from This Year:#There will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year - and i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me#embrace the suck
30 notes · View notes
rosykims · 2 years
Text
i cannot believe im saying this but ive been thinking about my cousland and sten all morning and theyre making me insane
#oc: elspeth#tay plays dao#ive been debating whether or not elspeth recruits him for WEEKS now#but contextually her being a cousland AND an archetypal 'hero' chara doesnt rly slide w the whole killing children thing lol#but ive finally settled on her recruiting him regardless and it makes sense in my head both in yhe moment AND narratively which is 🤪#her whole arc is sort of abt her internal struggle irt being a warden (altruistic/heroic) which shes always wanted to be until she was one#vs being a noble (powerful/respected) which she never appreciated until she lost it#and feeling like both of them conflict with the other and thus feeling like shes not living up to either#she chooses to 'conscript' sten under the pretense of the warden redemption but a lot of it is her selfish noble streak#wanting to punish him for rendon howe's sins .....#idk if this makes sense to anybody but me but obvs it also opens up more moral dilemmas#like..... she gives sten mercy and she WANTS to give loghain mercy and resents alistair for denying her the option#but she would never allow the same mercy to be extended to howe. with good reason obviously but yeah ultimately shes a noble and#quite unknowingly selfish underneath all the posturing and righteousness. she gets over it especially a bit after reaffirming her loyalty#to the wardens..... but yeah. her idea of heroes comes from very sanitized bard songs and chantry tales#she def realizes she cant have her cake and eat it too and i think sten surprisingly is the best character i have to explore that with????#WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT ? NOT ME ❤#anyways if u read all this ur a legend and u may be entitled to financial compensation
21 notes · View notes
eldrichthingy · 6 months
Text
not to be an ass but I do wonder now after developers stances on controversial endings how does majority of astarion's fandom feel knowing that they were wrong the whole time with their "holier than thou" attitude lmao
2 notes · View notes
dreamofbecoming · 1 year
Text
i have an unhinged neighbor who hates me and watches my door for me to take out my trash so she can dig through it and dump whatever she doesn’t approve of back on my doorstep, which last time was accompanied by a threatening note taped to my door, which has given me quite a lot of (i feel) reasonable anxiety regarding taking my trash out? anyway i’ve been letting garbage pile up in my room so i don’t inconvenience my roommates (she doesn’t seem to mind the general apartment waste, it’s mainly my shit she doesn’t like because i’m disabled and throw away a lot of nutritional shake cartons that are made of cardboard but not technically recyclable, and she thinks i’m being “lazy” and that’s somehow her business) and bc lack of spoons, and i keep meaning to bag it all up at once and dump it on the curb late at night right before pickup day, so she doesn’t have time to snoop, but i’ve been having a bunch of bad days and i keep missing pickup day but!! today i finally bagged up the worst of it and while i can’t take it out until tomorrow night bc pickup was this morning and they won’t come back til wednesday, i feel like a fucking superhero
5 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
a littol rats 
#i still love cat toys so many of them look very cute and cool and soft lol#when I was a kid I used to ask my guardians to buy me cat toys even when I didnt have a cat. I just wanted to keep them for myself#same with fishing bait. I had a whole box of those little rubbery plastic looking soft fish bait things or whateer they are#because they were squishy and bright colors lol#'i used my birthday money to buy a new doll! what did you get?' 'hand sanitizer because it has bubbles inside of it. erasers#to chew on and destroy. a bunch of cat toys and fishing lures.'#and then carried them to school with me#A VOLLEY BALL!!!! jhbjhb that was one of my goal gifts when I was a kid and I never got one#because they had one at one of the afterschool daycare things I went to and I would carry it around. and when we would go outside#I would put sunscreen on it and talk to it and stuff and pet it like a cat because I really just loved the texture of whatever it was made o#ut of and the fact that it was white ( my favorite color) and round (one of my favorite shapes) and just looked really cool#and then the adults of course were like 'please stop taking the volley ball out of the toy basket and carrying it around with you all day#it does not belong to you and the other kids want to play with it. also stop putting sunscreen on it..' and I was just like >:T#i will get my own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and I never did#I also used to think it was 'volley vall'#ANYWAY fvjhjh#still sometimes I go into stores and feel drawn to the cat toys..
10 notes · View notes
cparti-mkiki · 2 years
Text
it’s interesting how in fandom mind a standard rape by a main character is irredeemable but a standard murder by a main character doesn’t even register as one most of the time. i suppose it’s the effect of a long history of cool murder which has desensitized the audience but of course it would be disingenuous for me to pretend that rape and murder are framed equally in fiction. like in real life i think we and the legal system agree that rape is very bad but murder is basically the worst thing ever - whereas in many media universes murder is framed as so unremarkable that the audiences might not even see it as murder (and more often then not also framed to look extremely uhh badass and cool) but rape is given enormous narrative & emotional weight. maybe because rape is a terrifying reality that’s never far from us but getting sliced in half by a valyrian steel sword is something we don’t really see happening anytime soon?
anyway this is a post about how twitter’s only “you can’t like this character” character so far is aegon, who has killed no one but raped one, possibly many, whereas his relatives who have a kill count per episode are huge fan favorites. this is also of course a post lamenting people holding morality as a guide to what characters people can like and which are evil monsters no one should express any interest in or else you’re a rape apologist or something but i think we already have enough of these posts on tumblr? like talking about how it’s insane to try to police media enjoyment online & infer anything about people because they like controversial characters and also how it’s even more insane (and probably impossible. and sad.) to limit yourself to caring about characters who are good and pure and all that, i feel like that’s covered. at least in my mutual bubble i am preaching to the choir when i say that these are not people - these are lines of text that the author has decided to portray doing such or such thing for there to be a story - and the point of enjoying fiction is not to be constantly weighing who is morally good so you can be exclusively on their side (imagine doing that for hotd.. haha… ha…)
#honestly the only actual crime a character can commit in my eyes is to be boring#like what’s the point then. you’re not making me feel anything except tired can we get back to your problematic cousins#but anyway back to complaining about the audience. imagine trying to side with the good guys in a show that 1) has no good guys 😭#my posts#to add on to my first paragraph it’s also interesting how there are a lot of posts like#’i love when characters are messy i love when characters kill etc etc’ but the same posters are outraged and repulsed when a character#actually does something messy (like rape. torture. being mean to their fave). it’s all very superficial like their idea of a messy#character is someone slightly edgy (daemon for example) but who never does anything most people would find genuinely upsetting#whereas disaster guys like larys or aegon (or viserys. but the real viserys not the fandom’s girl dad peepaw viserys)#or criston or otto are instantly disliked by them#for being cunts and problematique#and they start making their callout posts like the people liking these characters are… unaware of their terrible actions?#like that’s only possible explanation for liking them? that you haven’t realized / been made aware that they’re BAD and unrighteous?#and reading a callout post will make them go ‘oh my god they’re right! aegon really is a piece of shit! how could i have associated w him!’#like i don’t think they get what makes a character interesting (hint it’s the essence of what they usually denounce in their callouts)#boy am i glad not to be one of those posters who can only enjoy sanitized content or else they turn into the puritan police 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
10 notes · View notes
Text
Today is not off to a great start.
7 notes · View notes
ct-hardcase · 1 year
Text
.
3 notes · View notes
cicidraws · 2 years
Text
nothing like just moving to a new place, being unable to use the washer or use the bathroom in it bc it decided to back up from the washer twice, and also barely ever flush, and back up all over teh floor and make ur house feel and smell disgusting uwu
1 note · View note
allbark-no-bite · 20 days
Text
good boy.
Tumblr media
art donaldson x reader (wc: 2.9k)
summary: as Art’s personal physical therapist, it’s your job to fix what Tashi has torn apart, by whatever means necessary. or in which Art just needs some TLC
warnings: 18+ smut, it could be worse tbh, mentions of disordered eating
author’s note: i’m back ig?? im out of uni for the summer and challengers has me in a chokehold. Art Donaldson the man that you are
————————————————————————
You're standing just within earshot of the doorway, passing a sanitary wipe over one of the tables in the athlete treatment room when you hear the door abruptly open. Tashi storms in with a purpose and Art trails meekly behind her. Even if you had been clueless to how the match had gone rather than on the sidelines beside Tashi not even twenty minutes ago, you could have guessed by the hard line of her mouth that Art was in for it. Not that her displeased scowl was much different from her usual scowl, but you'd been around long enough to know the difference.
She stops abruptly, and Art heels obediently as Tashi turns around to face him. "I need you to tell me when you're going to fucking get it together so that I can stop wasting my time."
Weary and sweat soaked, Art just stares at her with that pitiful look on his face and says nothing in reply. His blue eyes solemnly take in her harsh disappointment as though beyond used to it. At this point it's not all that foreign to you either.
"You may as well be fucking asleep out there," she snaps.
This time his mouth opens. "I- I'm just tired-" he begins, although there's hardly any argue to his voice at all.
"No, I'm tired, Art," Tashi interjects. "Do you have any idea how much fucking work I've put into getting you back onto the court this past year?! I've done everything! The least you could do go out there and try to act like I've done anything for you at all!"
Art swallows, the slight frown on his face deepening. "I am. I just- I don't-"
Before he can even finish his sentence. The open palm of Tashi's hand connects with his cheek as she pops the left side of his face. Art closes his mouth. You pretend to concentrate on wiping down the table. It's not the first time you've witnessed one of these conversations but it still feels private, like you shouldn't be here. You keep wiping the table.
Understanding that anything else he says is only going to make Tashi angrier, Art resigns to once again watching her in silence. His blue eyes are sad. The usually fair skin of his cheek is tinted pink where she popped him. Although it wasn't very hard, you're sure it still hurt him all the same.
"Quit wasting my time," is all she says before she finally turns and leaves, walking right past you and out the other door. You hold your breath as she passes you. Art watches her go but makes no move to follow. You release an audible sigh. It's been a frustrating day for everyone. As Art's personal trainer, physical therapist, and close friend, you felt every loss, every ache and pain, every bad play. And there seemed to be a lot of those lately.
Art is still standing there, watching the closed door that Tashi left though.
Not knowing how to break the silence, you finally pat the freshly sanitized treatment table. "C'mon," you call gently, as though beckoning to a wounded dog.
It takes a moment for him to budge, but eventually he does, his disheartened spirit apparent in the way he walks over. Used to the usual routine, he tugs his damp shirt off over his head as he takes a seat, the lean muscles of his torso flexing as he does so. You allow yourself to ogle at him, only for a brief moment before stepping in between the bracket of his knees. Gently, you cradle his chin, tipping his head back to look up at you as your thumb smooths over the redness of his cheek. His blue eyes blink up at you, sad and dog-like.
"It wasn't terrible," you reassure him. "You had surgery six months ago. You're still getting your feet back underneath you. Most people wouldn't have come back." You're right. The still-pink scars on his shoulder are still fresh on your mind. The stitches weren't even out before Tashi had him in physical therapy. Even though his medical team had released him, it was still a bit early to start doing rehab so soon after surgery, Art's comfort being your biggest concern. But when Tashi wants something, she gets it.
Wordlessly, Art sighs, the weight of his head settling into your palm as he finally lets go of the tension he'd been carrying. It was always like this. You fixing what Tashi had torn apart. You understood where Tashi was coming from. Art needed a firm voice in his training, and you had a lot of respect for the way she put her foot down and never let up, not even once. But there was only so many times you could kick a dog while he was down.
So if Art needed someone to coddle him, you would coddle him.
He trusts you. He needs you, is what Tashi had told you when she asked you to stay on as his trainer full time. The three of you had been in the same year at Stanford all those years ago, Tashi and Art on the tennis team and you helping out as a student trainer as part of a class requirement. Three peas in a pod, the trio of you were. Of course then they both graduated, leaving you to finish up your schooling, meanwhile Art set off to go pro.
A few years later, once Tashi officially took on the position as Art's coach, she began building his team, and that's where you came in. You were hesitant at first.
'I already lost to you once, Tashi. I won't come in second to you again.'
She had paused on the other end of the line. Back in your Stanford days, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that you were head over heels in love with the blonde tennis player. But loving Art was like accepting the participation ribbon for a game you knew you weren't going to win in the first place. It was like standing next to the podium, just lucky enough to be included in the picture while Tashi and tennis took first and second place. And so you let him go.
'I'm not asking you to. This is different.'
Your hand slips from his face, and he forces his eyes open.
“Have you eaten?" you ask, stepping away in order to put some distance between the two of you and look for the granola bars that you keep especially for him. The gels were good sources of quick fuel in between sets, but they were hardly enough to even begin to make up for the calories he burned while playing.
Slowly, Art shakes his head, but he makes no move to take the snack from your hand when you offer it to him. Ever since his injury, nutrition became all the more important. So much to the point that every single thing that he consumed was mapped out to the exact calorie. Although he would never admit it, any sort of change in this routine made him incredibly anxious. Some days it was better not to cause him the anxiety than to force him.
Today, you insistently hold out the bar until he begrudgingly takes it from your hand. You don't move until you've seen him tear open the package and take a bite.
"Were you still feeling tight?" you ask as you walk around the table, stopping at the slouch of his turned back. You reach out to grasp at the joint of his neck and shoulder, your thumb smoothing over the kinesiology tape that's peeling away at the base of his neck.
He half turns his head to glance back at you. "You watched the match. You tell me."
His response is meant to be snippy, but it comes out more defeated than anything. To be fair, you've been his trainer long enough to know that if something was bothering him physically, you would have picked up on it.
"I want to hear it from you."
"I felt fine."
Your left hand follows suit on the other side of his neck, and you use both of your thumbs to apply pressure to what you assume will be a tense spot along the upper part of his traps. Predictably, Art groans at the attention. The muscles of his back contract as he fights the urge to shake you off. Relaxing the muscle hurts as much as it feels good. Besides his obvious discomfort, the rest of his body has gone lax under your touch. His shoulders have dropped at least an inch, and his chin has fallen to rest against his chest.
"Finish your granola bar," you reprimand him, your firm fingers working across his back until you find another spot that nearly has him jerking away. He releases a whine but obediently takes another bite of the bar. This time he finishes it before you have to remind him again.
You spend a few more minutes torturing him before you're satisfied that a majority of the tension has left his shoulders.
"Okay, good boy," you murmur, leaning forward so that your chest is close enough to brush against his back. One of your hands trails up to squeeze the back of his neck reassuringly.
You're close enough to hear him swallow at the name. The skin on the nape of his neck shivers despite how hot he still is from the match.
"Was I?" he asks timidly. "Good today?"
'I can be his coach. Or I can be the person he cries to after a bad day. But I can't be both. That's why he needs you."
Without removing your hand from his neck, you walk around the table so you're standing in front of him. Art widens the spread of his legs so that you can stand between them. His chin is still pressed to his chest, blue eyes focused on the ground.
"Art," is all you say, shifting your grip on his neck to tug lightly at his golden blonde hair. At your voice, he lifts his head just enough to look up at you through the pale wisps of his eyelashes. The irises of his blue eyes shine are wet with uncertainty.
Your fingers loosen their grip to allow your nails to scratch at his scalp. "You're good, Art. You'll always be good."
Art twists his head to nuzzle his cheek along the inside of  your outstretched arm. His lips kiss the crook of your elbow. He swallows again. "Even if I don't play tennis?"
You can tell the question's been bothering him, eating at his nerves, and messing up his game. You know him well enough to know that retirement isn't what he wants, not really. At least not right now. What he wants is the reassurance that it's going to be okay if he can't swing the comeback.
"Look at me."
He lingers a moment longer with his lips pressed lovingly against your skin before he reluctantly shifts his gaze up to you. His look is anticipatory but reserved, as if to preemptively conceal his disappointment should you choose to crush his heart with your answer.
His fear is understandable. Art's relationship with Tashi has always been entirely built off of his tennis career. By being the driving force behind his success, Tashi has vicariously lived out the life she would have had had her injury never happened. Without tennis, Art has nothing left to offer her. He knows that if he gives up tennis, he loses Tashi.
Your relationship with Art was a little less conditional. Hell, you'd been in love with him since the first time you'd laid eyes on him at Stanford. You can still picture him standing there on the court, barely nineteen, scrawny, nervous smile, backwards cap over his strawberry blonde hair. Before he was the Art Donaldson. But when Tashi had stepped into the picture, you figured that was where your fairytale ended.
"I don't love you because of tennis. I love you because you're kind, and thoughtful, and you're passionate about what you do." You smile a bit before adding, "And you're my good boy."
The name turns him bashful again, and he's quick to turn and hide his smiling face against your arm, only the flushed tips of his ears visible. "[Y/n]," he mumbles, likely meaning to be threatening, but it doesn't come out that way.
Art Donaldson lived to be praised.
You laugh, pulling him closer so that his face is held against your chest. The hand that you don't have threaded through his hair trails up the muscle of his defined quad. "You're my good boy. Aren't you, baby?"
Art whines, squirming when your hand reaches the apex of his thigh and hovers over the forming bugle of his shorts. He's not quite there yet, his dick only half chubbed up in interest, but given the day that he's had, you won't make him wait.
"Please?" he mumbles, his face still buried into your collarbone, as if attempting to curling into you, like a small child needing their parent to hold them for comfort.
You rake your nails lightly up the inside of his thigh. "What, baby?"
Not only did Art liked to be praised, but he was masochist even on his worst days.
"Want you to touch me," he mumbles, his voice muffled by your shirt. "Please."
Your hand still scratching through his hair, you press a kiss to the side of his head, unable to suppress your smile at his timid politeness and how it never seems to fail him. The only time he ever resembled anything remotely voracious was on the court.
Palm finding his tented shorts, you cup him through the fabric. Art responds immediately to your touch, his hips shifting further into your grasp. You continue to pet him through his shorts, appreciating the way you can feel him actively responding to your touch.
His nails dig into the padding of the treatment table when you give his now fully hard dick a less than sympathetic squeeze. His breath is hot as he pants against your collarbone, alternating between laving open mouthed kisses to your skin and whining when you pause fondling him just to feel his hips rut up into your palm.
Art was so in control on the tennis court, that often after a match, putting the control into someone else's hands was just what he needed.
When his hips start to stutter, you ease up but continue to stroke him through his shorts. The front of his shorts are damp with the musk of residual sweat and precum.
His breath is shallow—anticipatory.
"Gunna come?" you ask softly, speaking into the blonde mess of his hair, cradling him. He right there, you can tell by the lackluster buck of his hips, his building fatigue, and the change in his breathing.
"Can I? —Please?" Art asks breathily. He hiccups out the last part, his voice catching.
"You know you don't have to ask."
There's a brief pause, as if coming to the realization, before he meekly murmurs, "I know.
It should be sad really, his unwavering obedience, but there are two sides to Art, two polar extremes. On the court, every match, every set, every debilitating second is up to him. No one else can help him out there, and up until about a year ago, he played like it. That was the side of Art Donaldson that Tashi wanted. After the match is a different story. In private, Art needed someone to do the thinking for him, to pull him into a reality where he could believe that it didn't matter whether he won or lost. Tashi had not the sympathy nor the patience for that kind of fragility.
Art comes with a brief cry into your chest, his body arching into yours. Your hand palms at his pulsing dick until he's oversensitive and pulling away. When you relent, the front of his shorts are sticky and wet.
Finally, Art lifts his face from the safety of your chest. His blue eyes are glossed over, but it's an improvement from the detached look they held ten minutes ago. His cheeks are flushed, a mixture of his own embarrassment and satisfaction. 
You can't help the soft smile that creeps onto your face at the look of him, and immediately Art is abashedly trying to hide his face again, his own smile starting to appear. Before he can, you bring your hands back up to cradle his face, thumbs wiping away the wetness from under his eyes. This time he lets you.
His eyes study your face for a second, admiring you, appreciating the love he has for you.
“I don’t want to play tennis anymore.”
You can’t tell if it’s more of a statement or a confession. Either way, you know he’s telling you the absolute truth.
“Okay,” you reply softly, not hint of judgement in your voice. Maybe some disappointment, but that was understandable.
Retirement would be a kindness. Art would finally put back on some healthy weight, start smiling again, put on a real, actual smile. You could already see it, a nice house for the two of you to settle down in, with a picket fence and a dog in the backyard, the kind of things the two of you would have never had time for on tour.
Tennis had brought the two of you together, but it wouldn’t end you.
2K notes · View notes
hagravenholm · 1 year
Text
,,,
0 notes
sayruq · 30 days
Text
Tumblr media
Amid Israel’s ongoing genocidal war on Gaza, maternal healthcare faces excruciating challenges. Deliberate and systematic Israeli attacks on hospitals and medical centers, and critical shortages of humanitarian aid, including medicine, have created a crisis that is endangering the lives of both mothers and newborns. The situation is critical. There are an estimated 50,000 pregnant women in Gaza and some 180 births every day. Israel’s decision in October to prevent food, water, fuel and electricity from entering Gaza created a desperate situation. Inadequate nutrition, exposure to cold and hot weather, the absence of clean water, and poor sanitation weigh heavily on the wellbeing of women and children. The circumstances force them to consume contaminated water, heightening the peril of dehydration and waterborne diseases, particularly among vulnerable groups such as expectant mothers, new mothers and young children. Fuel shortages and the constrained capacity of the few remaining medical facilities exacerbate the difficulty for women in labor to access hospitals. Um Amin, a mother with a few children, confronted with the harsh reality of displacement, recounted her family’s struggles during Israel’s aggression. As bombs relentlessly fell on their neighborhood, reducing their home to rubble, Um Amin had to seek refuge at a school run by the UN agency for Palestine refugees (UNRWA) in the northern Gaza Strip taking only very few belongings. She was pregnant. And in the school there was little by way of basic necessities such as clean water, food or even clothes for her children. She considered moving south, where food might be a little more accessible. Her husband refused, causing conflict between them.He feared not being able to return. And while she believed that the Israeli army was attempting to force them to leave, she also felt it was a matter of life and death for her children. “It was heart-wrenching to witness my kids fighting over scraps of bread. My 4-year-old started stashing away bread in his pocket for later. I was shocked. Before the war, I never slept without knowing my children were fed. Now, most of the time, I am certain they never feel satisfied.” Her entire motivation to carry on became a matter of feeding her children She denied herself food for their sake, but had also to remind herself of the child within her. “The baby inside me is also a priority, so I had to eat too.” She found the balancing act incredibly challenging, an unbearable burden of motherhood. “I am going to share something I’ve never told anyone I know: I contemplated suicide to escape the weight of this responsibility.”
After the Israeli army unexpectedly stormed al-Rimal, a Gaza City neighborhood, for a second time, Um Amin panicked and fled again, this time going from the UNRWA school to a relative’s house. But her fear caused her to enter preterm labor. A doctor, at the nearby al-Sahaba medical center, had to resort to a cesarean section. It was hell, Um Amin said. There was insufficient anesthesia and she could feel the scalpel cutting into her body. There was no electricity; the doctor had to use a handheld flashlight to see. Um Amin’s cries of pain could not drown out the crashing of shells around her. The operation left her utterly drained. She couldn’t believe she was still alive.She needed nourishment to recover what she had lost during the bleeding and to breastfeed her son. But hunger was stalking Gaza. Food was scarce, there was no white flour in the markets, and Israel was blocking aid trucks from entering the north. “All I had to eat was bread made from animal feed and water. When I had my other children, I relied on foods rich in animal proteins, but it was impossible this time. The price of meat was five times higher than normal.” Unable to adequately breastfeed her child, she had to find infant formula. But the price was multiple times higher than it used to be and more than she could afford. Eventually, she was forced to buy formula that was past its expiry date. “You might blame me, but there was literally no other option. I didn’t have enough money. It wasn’t clumped together, so the doctor told me it could still be used.” She would never find out. Due to the lack of clean water, she prepared the milk with non-potable water from a well. The baby refused to drink.
2K notes · View notes