#it all just FEELS very on point to me personally

[earlgreytea68]

Okay. It's time for an AI rant.

My nephew is 13 years old. Whenever he writes a paper for school, I check it over and fix all of his mistakes for him. He said to me, "Maybe I'll proofread your paper for you in exchange," meaning one of the scholarly articles I write for work. I said, "Cool," and gave him the file. And he said, "Well, this is full of errors! See, you always say you have a lot to correct on my stuff, and look at all the stuff you got wrong!" And I said, surprised, "What? Where?" Because I'm sure there are typos in the draft I sent him, but not, like, that many.

And then he pointed to the screen and said, "Look at all the blue and red lines you have."

And I said, "Yeah, but those are wrong. Like, those are blue and red lines I'm ignoring because the computer is wrong." And then I paused and added, "You know you can't proofread a paper by just looking at the red and blue lines, right?" And he gave me the blankest look, because that clearly is EXACTLY what he thinks. And it became even clearer suddenly why, whenever I correct something on his paper, his immediate reaction is, "It didn't have a blue or red line."

There's a very good reason for that: THAT'S BECAUSE THE COMPUTER ISN'T SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT IT WAS WRONG.

I am so tired of being sold the idea that computers are better than humans and so we should just outsource everything to them, which is clearly the lesson my nephew is absorbing in U.S. middle school. COMPUTERS ARE NOT BETTER THAN HUMANS. Like, maybe they are better at humans at crawling through rubble to find people trapped inside. They are also better at preserving things in a searchable format. Things like that. Very limited circumstances.

I don't want to sound alarmist but everything I hear about people using generative AI freaks me out. It's not just that I'm freaked out by people being like, "I use it to write novels!" (Although I don't see how they do, I have tried to have it write fiction for me and the output was truly terrible.) But I recognize my bias around creative writing and so no one needs to credit my views on artificial writing. But! Other things are alarming, too! "I use it to brainstorm x, y, or z." But...why? Why not just...use your own brain...to...brain...storm? The computer doesn't even have a brain to brainstorm with! And you might be like, "But it comes up with things that my brain would never think of!" So would other people! You could also brainstorm with other people! Or even through Google to see what other people have thought before you (not AI). Please don't belittle the wonder of thinking.

I just feel like the marketing around generative AI boils down to "Wouldn't it be easier not to use your own brain to think about things?" Everyone. No. It would not be. Please just trust me on this. I'm not just an old person who is out of touch with technology or something. I promise. USE YOUR BRAINS. IT WILL BE OKAY.

[chaoticclownage]

"I didn't realize you think so low of me."

God like I usually HATE the miscommunication trope with a fiery passion because typically it's something painfully obvious that could've easily been avoided and is usually a pointless stressor to elongate the plot but the way it's done with Stolitz is so real like this isn't tiresome tropey miscommunication, it's real world miscommunication. It's a very real scenario that is as complicated as it plays itself to be and it's so well done actually. Like, the perspectives the characters have are completely different because they're individuals with problems and experiences that have formed different views on themselves and the world around them and it's caused this major rift in how they view things. Stolas is a bleeding heart who has always been an honest individual and he doesn't treat his royal status as something to lord over others and tries his hardest to be as free of it as he can despite his obligations, meanwhile Blitz is an imp who has had a rough life and views himself as lowly, as something not deserving of love, as someone that someone like Stolas with all his wealth and power wouldn't ever spare a glance at romantically. Blitz's view is so tainted by his own self-deprecating view of himself and his self-sabotaging nature that he drives Stolas away because he can't even entertain the idea that Stolas would ever genuinely love him.

All up until the moment Stolas has to throw his feelings in Blitz's face and be as vulnerable as he can and say it to him straight. Which is painful. Even for an honest person. What Stolas did is so incredibly difficult for anyone to do because of how raw of an action it is. That level of openness with someone you aren't sure is going to be accepting of it is like trusting someone with a gun pointed at your head not to shoot. This kind of miscommunication isn't just an easy fixup or something that could've been avoided, nor was it unessesary for the plot. It IS the plot. The divergence of their characters and how those two experiences and their flaws clash with one another is the driving narrative here. Stolas being brave enough to let go of the rope he'd given up everything to hold on to, because it was hurting him. Blitz realizing what he was losing and how he was wrong. And Blitz being seconds away from apologizing after he got hit with the reality check he needed only to end up seconds too late.

[ugly-anarchist]

People are now calling aros homophobic for saying "love loses" and disliking the phrase "love is love"

I don't dislike the phrase "love is love" because I'm aro and I hate the concept of love and I want to trample on queer joy and I don't understand the meaning behind love is love.

I dislike the phrase "love is love" because I don't believe that minorities should have to say "we're just like you!" In order to be accepted. I dislike it because it doesn't apply to all queer people, (including bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc) but people treat it like it does. I dislike it because it's a product of a sex-negative society that deems queer people to be disgusting sex pests and instead of going "that's fucked up because there's nothing wrong with sex" people go "that's fucked up because we're not like those dirty disgusting predators who want sex without romance (coughalloaroscough)". I dislike it because arophobia is rampant in the queer community and people will throw us under the bus for points and have. (Stonewall UK posted a tweet acknowledging aros during aro week and other queer people called us predators and implied we were cishet invaders) I dislike it because the word love is shoved onto aros and whenever we say "please don't" people just redefine it to force it on us. I dislike it because there are better alternatives. I dislike it because rainbow capitalism has taken it over. I dislike it because it just feels a bit overused and cliche at this point. I dislike it for plenty of reasons, from legitimate to petty. Because I'm a person, not an evil aro who wants to destroy the queer community.

Aros, for a very long time, have had the word love used against us as a tool for our oppression. (Yes, love can be used to oppress people) And a lot of aros are sick of not being represented in queer spaces. The community puts so much emphasis on romantic love in an effort to not be the stereotypical sex obsessed queer but that leaves out aros. And people will be like "it's to uplift gays, bis, and lesbians" but there are aromantic gays, bis, and lesbians! I'm an aromantic bisexual person! I am directly harmed by the whole "we're not dirty sex pests, we can love (romantically) just like you!"

I, and many other aros, dislike the phrase love is love because it leaves us behind in the dirt. We often feel like the dirty side of queerness that no one wants to acknowledge. Saying "queer love is real love" isn't a bad thing, but having that be the one and only thing queer people ever talk about leaves out a portion of the community and we're allowed to talk about it.

"Love is love" doesn't represent me as a bisexual aromantic person. Not everything has to represent or include me but it would be nice if just one thing did. My version of queer joy is not represented by love is love and I just want a fucking alternative that does include it!

[Don't tag as ace/aroace or derail]

[tiktaalic]

s1 dean: it's not gay to suck a dick or three or ten you're just making sure you're not gay

s2 dean: getting notes from my team that sometimes it is gay to suck a dick . i would like to formally announce that i never did that. and i never would.and also i'm masc. i'm masc. i'm literally masc.

s3 dean: too busy with dying to think about being gay i'm pretty sure.

s4 dean: really enjoying that cas is unaware of social norms so that dean can oscillate between preening when he teaches him how to be a man (+1 masculinity for being more of a man than cas +1 masculinity for being so much of a man that you can teach others how to do it) and. taking advantage of the no social norms thing to rationalize his OWN behavior with cas because he knows cas isn't going to call him on it not being normal which MAKES it normal because there is no one to refute that.

s5 dean: much of the same but there are now emotional stakes in play because they Are friends he is now Emotionally attached in a real way to this man he was engaging in one way gay chicken with.

s6 dean: mfw my brother tells me to be normal so i marry a woman. ratchets him all the way back to i have never liked a man and i never will.

s7 dean: very similar emotionally to endverse dean / s14 dean in my mind. kind of in the same place as s6 dean but crucially s6 dean was sad and wet and s7 dean is walled off and apathetic. attraction to men does not factor into his worldview.

s8 dean: he literally was in a foxhole with benny and got a spraytan and had a gay thing. this man begrudgingly puts one (1) rainbow ornament on his christmas tree after sending out christmas cards of him embracing another man while their gay ass dog sits at their feet. the sticking point HERE is "cas doesn't feel stuff like that".

s9 dean: We Cannot Get Into All That but. they literallyyyyyyyyy had to make cas sleep with a woman and get banished forever to sidestep The Implications. which are. dean winchester would fuck the gay angel given the FIRST opportunity. i'd probably fuck cas but my brother is dying so idrc about that rn. etc. this is a man who is conscious of his attraction to 1) men and 2) cas and WOULD act on it given the chance.

s10 dean: this is where it gets love triangle-y with crowley and cas. this is because dean DID fuck crowley and WANTS to fuck cas. textually. this is where he stands. moc dean has sex with men and doesnt care because hes normal. POST moc dean is like. the same sex attraction was a metaphor to show that i was evil and corrupted by the mark.

s11 dean: i'll be honest. i remember fuck all about season 11.

s12 dean: his mom is around which means he will not be out. this is also. iirc? where dabb gets his grubby little showrunning hands on things. which of course. means dabbification. which of COURSE. means destiel eating plain toast and raising a baby domestically. which. of course. translates to dean using cas as a girlfriend stand in. which. imo. is reflected in dean's mindset. like s12 dean is aware that cas is the most important person in his life, and he is not interested in deviating from that formula with a woman at all.

s13 dean: gay man realizing the love of his life is dead and he never said or did anything -> gay man whose love of his life comes back so he doesnt have to grapple with the consequences of never saying anything and they can jump back into pseudo relationship.

s14 dean: this is a gay man coparenting with a gay man and telling his father that he has a family. has accepted his fate as a life long ambiguous bachelor who lives with a man and sometimes sleeps in his bed nonsexually. very much dead inside staring down the barrel of throwing himself on a grenade does not have Time to push the boundaries of his relationship.

s15 dean: too many twists and turns to get into in the stinger of a post.

[penny-for-thots]

edging the windbre boys ; not requested :]

[!] ON THE EDGE.

ⓘ BRINGING THEM TO THE EDGE JUST TO STOP?! gn!reader — smut. includes. sakura, suo, nirei, kaji, umemiya, hiragi, togame, + choji. blow/hand job, ribbons, cock ring, teasing, whining, + edging. aged up 18+ ; now that im writing this, im thinking abt a dry cumming ver...sorry, ive been writing a lot of smut but its the week before my period. im is ovulating, so um...take this <3

"I CAN'T TAKE IT, PLEASE!!" or, SCREAMING FOR MERCY. he's whining, begging, repeating your name and a phrase over and over and over again. his breath is stuttering and a couple of tears may fall down his face. like- he's legit going to pass out soon from the edging.

SAKURA is shaking. in all honesty, he can go in both this category and the 'JUST ... A MESS.' category, however, what sets him in this one is his begging. he's sobbing, a blushing mess, pleading with you like he'll fucking die if he doesn't get to cum. like, "pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease," is leaving his lips. his legs, his whole body is shaking at this point and he's begging to cum. like- to the point of babbling he's begging to cum, telling you how good it feels, and mumbling to himself that he can't last any longer. GOD FORBID, you put a cock ring on him? girl- he's gone.

CONT. at a certain point, because he's no pitiful, you decide to take mercy. you're tongue licking a long stripe up his length, hand pumping him earnestly. your tongue circles around the head and he cums, hard. like- a big ass load is dumped into your as he's hunched over and twitching from the relief he got.

"OOH, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT." or, HE'S ACTIVELY SEEKING REVENGE. this man isn't as much of a mess, in fact, he's doing everything in his power to contain his moans and such. he's trying to be somewhat tough and maintain his composure but he's grunting about paying you back. his hands are definitely tied behind his back, though that doesn't stop him from trying to get out of it.

TOGAME is seething. like- he loves it but he cannot wait to have you over his lap, fingering you and stopping until you get the feeling he's getting right now. he's breathing rough, "ooh, baby. im gonna get you back," he hisses, "i—ngh-oh—fucking promise." his arms might be tied, but he's trying to hard to hump your mouth, seeking any release that could push him over the edge. you'd have put a cock ring on him to get him to stop (hear me out though, a cock cage on togame?). regardless, he's grunting, his abs flexing and relaxing, thighs tensing and shaking, and his toes curled as he swears up and down he'll get you back.

SUO is breathing heavy. he's purposefully trying not to say something, so nothing you can tease him with slips out. unfortunately for him, a grunt that transforms into a whimper has your lips coming off of his cock with a pop! he looks down to see a cocky expression on your face. he huffs with a chuckle, "ooh, mm—damn—when we're done me and you are gonna have a- ngh- very long talk." suo bites his lip to prevent his whimpers from slipping, though he doesn't help himself by watching what you're doing. tying that pretty bright pink ribbon at the base of his cock, he's not against it. he has no problem with "feminine" things, but did you really have to tie it that tight? "hayato! you're staining my ribbon!" suo has to fight himself not to say something, he only chuckles, a hiss leaving his lips. oh, you are so going to get it.

KAJI is literally about to fight you. no bull. of course, being the person he is, he isn't allowed to use his hands. though he wants to, he can't shove your face full of his cock. his tongue swirls around his lollipop in a futile attempt to distract him from the warmth of your hand around him. "damn it! i am—fu-ucking—get- getting you back for this!" his his hips lift urgently off of the bed you've got him tied to. his legs are shaking; dazed and low-lidded eyes staring down at you as is orgasm builds, only to fall off at the last second. he nearly growls, swearing he'll get you back (in his head).

CONT. he isn't geting relief (none of them). he's normally a man with a lot of confidence, and yet, he's fucking trembling because he can't cum? i mean sure, he's out to get you later, but it's completely worth it to watch his eyes roll back into his skull, his hips practically convulsing, and thick ropes of cum shoot from his tip and stain his stomach. plus, the breathy "fuck" nearly has you doing the same.

MR. CAN'T SPEAK, or HE'S REALLY FOCUSED. the man is nearly silent. he either doesn't want to make a noise, or he's like- breathless. he may be huffing, eyebrows furrowed so deeply he'll cause permanent wrinkles. he's looking down at you, but he's more so focusing on not losing his shit because he can't cum. like- "fuckfuckfuck ... " is going through his head while he fights internal demons, and you. how dare you look at him with those pretty eyes?!

HIRAGI strikes me as a quiet man in bed, especially when something like this is happening. his core is tense; his face is tense. eyebrows knitted, eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched, and thighs flexed. he tries so hard not to—to which he fails—though at some point, he genuinely can't. he's moaned and groaned, even whimpered, and now a sound can't come out of his mouth. he's so close to losing it he's lost his voice to beg or whine. "damn—" he croaks, body trembling.

CONT. hes another one where your mercy is his salvation. he just looks so cute- why would make him suffer more? its not until he's allowed to cum does his let out a string of pretty noises, sweat dripping down his forehead and body shaking.

JUST ... A MESS, or SELF EXPLANITORY. he's losing his fucking shit. this man is damn near wailing because he can't cum. he can't get the release he wants and he's losing his shit. fat globs of tears spill down his cheeks, there may even be snot. he's barely coherent, babbling pleads and jumbled strings of words to get you to let him cum.

NIREI is the one literally about to die from being denied. honestly, the display has you wanting to stop. he's sobbing, his voiced cracked, snot dripping from his nose, and body shaking like a leaf. he barely tell you "sorry," or "please," let alone fully beg. his words are mindless babble, strings of saliva falling from his lips, a web of them shown in his mouth. he keens and whines, "puh- plea- plea-ease!" when i say he's vibrating in his spot, i mean it. hes is NAWT the type of person to be able to handle this type of sexual activity (you can't overstim him either).

CHOJI is ... something. i see choji as someone who isn't too interested in sex, though when it happens he's sooo sensitive. and ridiculously whiny. like- the man will not shut up. he's whining your name, pleading, whispering to himself, cursing—anything. at some point tears start to form and he gets shocked at the waves of pleasure that appear and disappear. he almost gets mad until your tongue starts to work him. his eyes get low-lidded and his body relaxes, it feels to him as if a wave is inches from sweeping him away, and then you stop. and then he sobs. and then he gets mad. then you get back at it. cycle repeats. "i- urgh! can't- can't—awh!" he's legit a fucked up mess, whining and crying like a girl, convulsing and breathing heavy as hell.

CONT. you have to let him at this point, he's not surviving a minute longer. his cock is raw and stiff from your strokes; at one moment, you thought he had accidentally came because of how much pre-cum seeped from the tip. he almost passed out once he cums, that's how much he needed it.

IT DEPENDS or THE OUTLIER WHO'S MULTIPLE. he can range from sobbing and crying for you, to telling himself not to cum, to being a complete and utter mess. it genuinely depends on how he feels that day, what happened. is he letting lose? is he still up tight? does he need to blow off some steam? it really depends on his mental state. he could go from

UMEMIYA grunts. his breaths are shaky, chest stuttering. he's laughing at both you and himself, he's certainly having fun with the moment. though, his body is being a little fickle. one second he's too hot, he's about to burn up, then the next its calm, though there's that painful pleasure in his groin from being denied. he laughs, "it looks good on me, it's—fuck—like y'r openin' a- pre-present." he looks down at the bow you've tied around his cock. of course, he asked for it. it looks better than he thought. he lets out a shaky breath, core tensing as he tries to keep his noises inside. though, to no avail, as he's a naturally loud person. his grunting and groaning fills the room, tears brimming at his eyes, and saliva pooling on his bottom lip. he bites his lip, chuckling, "fuck—y'r making me lose it!" he moans, "ooh, im gettin' you back."

CONT. he broke from his restraints, a stupid mess and all and forced your mouth to stay lodged on him until he finished shooting ropes down your throat. he watches in amusement as you cough, looking down at the mess he's been made of. he 100% got you back seconds later.

[inkyray]

what matt said about his dreams in the newest video made me feel a little conflicted, and very interested to say the least lol. based on what he said, here's what i was able to make up of it:

(before i start id like to point out my mom studied dreams and spirituality for most of her life, passing down some of her knowledge to me. i also own a few books about dreams and their meanings, whether they are just your brain feeding you nonsense or the universe attempting at a message. at the end of the day im not certified nor a professional, just stuff i picked up)

the dream of him stabbing chris: this dream could signify the overwhelming pressure and responsibility matt may hold. dreaming about murdering a family member as close to him as his brother could reflect on built in anger and the need to let go of some problem. killing in a dream is rather symbolic, meaning what matt did doesn't equal triumph but a struggle.

the dream with nick:

starting off strong, a pile of snakes just below his feet. seeing multiple snakes in a dream is always negative, this could mean that several people in his life, or the environment he's around, is rather toxic and quite possibly gonna fuck him up if he's not careful lmao! there is an alternative to this meaning, such as; representing health issues or one specific health issue that has layers to it.

killing the king-- he's under a lot of mental stress, thats all i gotta tell u lmao. he is not looking after his emotional needs and is unable to contain them, also signifying wasted time and effort

killing the queen points to a rather sly person in his life. and that person cannot be trusted ! lol (damn bro so much stuff in this dream keep symbolizing the same shit, matt brother take the hint)

ye but thats all i picked up, im probably reaching anyways. i did this cs i was bored as hell w nothing better to do. a tarot card reading ab the dream

[luverboychris]

𝑹𝑬𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑫 | 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶

IN WHICH.. your child hood best friend has always been able to control and hide his sexual thoughts towards you. until, the day you catch him completely red handed in his bedroom.

semi sub!matt x fem reader, thigh riding, blow job, praising, begging

— 3.4k words ( guess who's back, back again )

you were finally feeling a sense of relief when you and your best friend, matt made amends after a heated argument. that’s how your friendship with him always was, constant bickering like an old married couple.

you and matt have been glued to the hip since middle school. for years on years, people immediately assumed your friendship was anything but platonic.

those were just rumors. especially with the fact that you have been going on almost seven years strong of friendship.

that's how you viewed it at least.

matt on the other hand found it impossible to not see you more than a friend. he wanted you, all of you. in fact, matt never considered him a sexual person, yet you lit this fire of passion and intoxication in him everytime he saw you. or even the thought of you popping up in his innocent little brain.

he was hungry for you. but over his fucking dead body would he ever let you find out.

"i'm so happy we’re done fighting." you exclaim, "i actually hate fighting with you, it makes me sick to my stomach.” matt laughs at your words after you begin to rub your stomach in circles, your hands lifting up your tanktop resulting in your skin to be exposed to matt's eyes.

he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander, looking at the motions your hands were doing.. then quickly straight up to your chest.

he notices very quickly how you weren't wearing a bra, the white fabric almost a little too see through for him because his imagination was connecting all the dots on how perfect your tits looked beneath your clothing.

he tried his very best not to bite his lip and shifts his gaze off your chest back to your face. of course, you weren't even paying attention to any of this. you were just innocently trying to make your best friend laugh with silly gestures.

"i hate fighting with you too." he mutters under his breath, you quickly look up at him, now pulling your tanktop down to cover your stomach as your eyebrows knit together.

"why’d you say it like that?" you question. matt starts to fidget in place, he tries his very best not to get hard by the thought of him ripping your tanktop off, and sucking your nipples while he looks up at you for validation.

"h-how did i say it?"

"in a rude way, like you're still mad at me or something.." you reply, and quickly cross your arms together.

oh, he was far from mad at you. if anything, he was mad at himself. trying so very hard to not make it obvious that his cock was throbbing from the sight of you standing right in front of him. he repostions the way he is standing, trying to cover the boner that was arising from beneath his grey sweatpants.

"trust me, i'm not mad at you." he mumbles. you clap your hands together, as you somewhat felt like he proved your point.

"there you are again! more mattitude."

"my god y/n, i told you i'm not fucking mad at you." matt snaps. you look at him with your lips parted, shocked. he regrets the tone of his words, he truly didn't mean to do that. but he was sexually frustrated and it was already hard enough to hide it from you.

"shit, i uh.. i'm sorry i didn't mean to yell. i am just.. tired." he makes up as his hands detangle his brown curls, "i think i need to lay down, i don't feel so good. you good to just put a show on your something in the living room?"

matt didn't want to make things worse and tell you to go home. besides, he genuinely wanted you to stay, but he was getting too horny and he needed to fix it. obviously, with no help and in his bedroom locked far away.

"aw, okay. well i'll go put some netflix on and then we will go out to eat or something maybe.” you say. he nods in response before you walk into the living room. you plop on the couch as he walked the other way to his bedroom.

he must've been thinking too much about how he needed to get rid of his hard on, because he completely forgets to twist his door knob, and lock it.

he goes on his bed, laying on his back as he slowly takes off his sweatpants. shortly after, he pulls his boxers down his legs and hisses at how hard he has gotten.

his dick was too sensitive as the band of his boxers slid over the top of his tip. "shit.." he whispers out. he has never seen his cock this hard before, and he knew it was all because of you.

soon enough, he grabs the lotion from his night stand and quickly pumps it in the palm of his hands. he wraps his right hand and places it on his throbbing cock. he tries his best to be quiet, even though you were all the way at the other side of his house.. he was paranoid you could hear him.

his brain suddenly flashes thoughts of you naked. lying down on his bed, on the couch, in the shower, on the kitchen counter. he kept imagining you in all the places he wanted to fuck you endlessly. he starts to imagine you touching yourself in front him, teasing him.

"f-fuck, my god y/n." he moans out, his eyes close as he keeps stroking his cock in smooth motions. he was imagining it was your hand going up and down, jerking him off instead of his. he felt so close to cumming after the fact he tricked his brain into thinking you were the one pleasuring him.

you on the other hand become bored, finding nothing good to watch and finding yourself mentally pulling your hair with not knowing what to do. you thought to yourself, maybe you should just go home.. and see matt again tomorrow when he feels better.

you get up from matt's couch, walking towards his bedroom with your head faced down scrolling on your phone.

you knock once, before actually opening his door. "matt i think I'm gonna go ho-" your sentence gets interrupted as you shut off your phone. your view of matt jerking himself off and he quickly freezes in his place.

his face turning into a red tomato with the embarrassment he was feeling. he tries to cover his exposed lower half with his blanket, but it was too late. you saw everything.

"oh my god. i'm sorry." you say, turning your face to the wall.

"fuck, uhm i thought i locked my door."

you didn't want to admit it but that quick second you saw him stroking himself with his eyes closed looking like he was in heaven was making you horny. you felt your insides start to turn and it traveled through your whole body seeing him in this state, shirtless and looking sweaty.

your best friend has never looked this good.

"is this what you needed to do so badly? jerk off?" you ask. he felt his face become even more hot with embarrassment with the questioning.

"i was so hard.. i’m sorry. i couldn't get it down and i couldn't tell you." he mumbles.

"what porn were you watching?' you ask, walking towards the edge of his bed.

matt’s eyes widen, wondering why you were still asking him questions that a person wouldn’t ask their guy friend.

"i wasn't watching porn. i, uh was just thinking things."

"what things?" you whisper. you sit on the front of his bed, your spine turned so your body is facing his way.

"it was nothing, just using my imagination." he couldn't even have the strength to maintain eye contact with you. you're staring right at him and he knows it, yet he still won't look to you.

"tell me.. now i'm curious." you pur. matt couldn't even comprehend what was happening right now. he figured you would have ran out of his room with pure disgust plastered on your face. yet, here you were sitting on his bed.

"are you sure..?" he gathers the strength to ask you that and you reply with a 'mhm'.

"well.. i was thinking about you." he mutters. “your hands jerking me off.. and making me cum so quick."

he continues, "then it would be my turn to please you, which is my favorite part. picturing my hand make its way down your thighs, and pressing my fingers against your thong to feel how wet you got for me."

you didn't notice that your legs had a mind of its own and started to clench. you could feel his honest words make you wetter than ever. it was so hot how he was describing this to you.

"then slide your thong to the side, finally rubbing your pussy before i put two fingers in you, adding a third-"

he was starting to get a little to into it, and you stopped him. "thats enough matt.” he looks at you with wide eyes, as if he fucked up things even more.

"fuck. i'm sorry.. i got too carried away." he says. you begin to climb your way up his bed now in front of his legs. he gulps as he watches you.

"no.. i cant hear you talk about this because you’re making me feel things. making me horny..” you practically whisper. was he dreaming? there was no way this was reality he thought to himself.

"w-what did you just say?" he struggles to ask.

"you heard me." you reply, before lifting his blanket off of him and revealing his still harden cock out in the open for you. you bit down on your lip, looking at how big he was now up close. his tip with a little bit of cum from when he was jerking himself prior.

you want to tease him, as if he wasn't already being teased enough. but you enjoy getting a rise out of him. you lightly rub your hands on both sides of his thighs and he lets out a quiet moan. the fact you were touching everything on his body but his cock was driving him off the edge.

you lean your head down, kissing his thighs while your eyes stare up at him watching his facial expressions become so desperate for you.

"i can't believe you were touching yourself to the thought of me.." you whisper out. he tucks his lip in between his teeth and he still can't take his gaze off you.

"it's that tank top of yours. i-it drives me crazy." he says. you look down at your tank top, your nipples hard and poking through. it didn't make things better for matt that you had gotten them pierced months ago.

you take your hands off his thighs, now tugging at your tanktop. "oh.. you want it off?" you tease. he nods his head at you profusely, moving in his place as he gets even more sexually frustrated. matt has imagined your tits so many times. bouncing, laying down, squeezing them, sucking them, having his face suffocated between them.

"yes." he whimpers.

"i can't hear you." you say.

"baby yes. i said yes fuck." he says louder.

you grin at him, slowly playing with the traps of your tanktop before you take it off fully down to your waist, making your chest completely exposed. he tries to keep his mouth shut but he just can’t.

he was almost drooling at the sight of your tits right in front of his face. he tries everything in his power to contain himself and not put them straight into his mouth like he has been dreaming about for so long.

"you’re not going to touch me?" you say. your words of consent were enough for matt to quickly pull you onto his lap and push his face into your chest, licking your nipples and sucking on your skin to create numerous hickies.

"i've been wanting to do this for so fucking long." he moans out in between sucking both of your tits. you lean your head back, his tongue swirling around making you eager for him.

you push his face into your chest, matt instinctively wraps his arms around your waist and presses himself further into your breasts. his tongue darts out to lick at your skin teasingly while his hands move upwards along your sides, tracing the curves of your body with gentle touches.

“matt, keep going..” you breath out.

“i, i need more of you.” he almost pleas against your chest. you grab onto matt’s curls as your eyes roll to the back of your head for a quick second from the sensation of matt’s mouth. you catch a glimpse of matt, looking so desperate for you.

“more of me?” you teasingly ask. he nods his head obediently, burying his face between your chest even more than before.

“ride my thigh. please.” he begs. you get up from his lap, giving him the view of you slowly taking off your bottoms. as you stand up in front of him, matt watches with eager anticipation. you position yourself perfectly on his thigh. his hand reaches up to grip your hips tightly as you begin to move back and fourth.

his eyes remain locked on yours. the idea of you in control wraps around his head, turning him on more than he ever thought possible.

matt gasps softly when he feels you straddling his leg, your body pressing against his own. the sensation sends shivers down his spine and causes his arousal to grow even larger.

"i’m yours completely, sweetheart.” he whispers, “do whatever you want with me. i’m here for your pleasure." his hands reaches up to stroke your thighs gently, savoring the feeling of your soft skin against his fingers as his heart races with excitement.

you grow more and more eager for matt, grinding your hips more against his skin. "oh, baby." he pants, "your pussy feels so good against my thigh. don't stop, please."

his hands squeeze tighter on your hips, guiding your movements and encouraging you to keep going. each time sending waves of pleasure rippling through his body, making him ache for you.

matt lets out a low groan when he feels you grind harder against his thigh, and your movements become more erratic.

his hands slide down to your lower waist, squeezing firmly as he pulls you closer towards his chest. he can feel himself getting closer to climaxing from just this simple act alone.

matt's breath hitches in his throat when you start to slow your hips down just to tease him. "baby," he moans, “i can't take it anymore. please let me fuck you." he lowers his hands down further on your body, gripping your ass.

“why don’t i do something else instead?” you hint that you want to pleasure him with your mouth as you take your hand and stroke him through his boxers.

matt’s eyes widen at your suggestion, and he gulps when he thinks about your mouth on his cock. the idea is both terrifying and exhilarating, pushing him further into submission.

his hands slide down from your ass to the band of his plaid boxers, pulling them down to stroke himself. "yes, please.” he stammers, “please suck my cock. i want to give you anything you want.”

he strokes himself slowly as he waits for you to take control once again.

matt watches intently as you slowly get down on your knees before him, his gaze never leaving you. he swallows hard, anticipation building within him as you move closer.

"do you know how badly i’ve been wanting your lips around my cock?" confidence suddenly flows through him. you look up and him with a grin, but don’t reply.

his hands reach for your hair, holding it in a ponytail position, ready to guide you if needed but otherwise wanting to simply just observe and appreciate the sight of you on your knees for him.

matt’s entire body tenses up when he feels your tongue flick across his sensitive tip. a loud gasp escapes his lips, and he can't help but to buck his hips forward slightly into your mouth.

"oh god." he moans, “that felt so good. keep going, please."

he tightens the grip he has on your hair, urging you to continue. he knows you’re in control, and all he wants to do is submit to your will.

after slight teasing with your tongue, you take his entire length in your mouth, making matt let out a moan of pure ecstasy. you feel his cock twitch inside your mouth, knowing that he can barely contain himself already.

“fuck" he moans, "your mouth feels so fucking good. please please make me cum on your tongue." he slides his other hand down your cheek.

matt lets his head fall back when you begin to bob your mouth up and down on his cock, taking him deep into her throat with each downward motion. his fingers dig into the strands of your hair, holding you close as he loses himself in the sensation.

"that's it, keep sucking me off like that.“ he almost cries out.

feeling you continue to suck his cock, matt can't help but thrust his hips forward, pushing deeper into your mouth. he groans loudly as you take him in, the sensation of your warm mouth wrapped around his cock driving him wild.

"baby please, i’m gonna cum. let me cum in your mouth.” he says under his breath.

you hum in response, letting him know you want it all.

with one final thrust, matt spills himself into your mouth. his cock twitches inside you as wave after wave of adrenaline courses through him, while his eyes roll to the back of his head.

as you swallow his cum, matt's entire body shudders with pleasure as he can feel the tightness of your mouth around his sensitive cock, even after he finished cumming.

you hear himself attempt to catch his breath "that was better than i imagined it would be" he whispers. his hands stroke through your hair gently, appreciating the trust you'd shown in allowing him to release inside you.

you put your hands on each of his thighs to let yourself get up from the ground and sit closely to him. he follows your every move, looking at you with lost puppy dog eyes.

"but the thing i've wanted to do the most is kiss you.." he mutters.

you reach your hand out to caress his cheek, his skin feels flushed and hot from how worked up you got him from before. his eyes flutter then fully close when you rub your thumb back and fourth on his soft skin.

"why don't you kiss me then, huh?" you whisper to him with a smile.

with a soft sigh, matt leans forward, pressing his lips against yours in a tender kiss. his hands go straight to your cheek gently as his tongue explores your mouth.

smiling against your lips, matt deepens the kiss and his tongue sliding further in your mouth. one hand moves down to to rest on your hip.

matt starts getting lost in the moment, feeling the addiction of your lips on his. and he can feel his body melt against yours.

he pulls away slightly, only to trail kisses down your neck and suck on your skin lightly. you let out a soft giggle, while he continues to pepper kisses to your skin and his hair brushing against your chin.

"okay, okay.." you smile, "shouldn’t we go get something to eat now?" you drag your words to him. he brings his head up to look at you, and he can't help but smile back at you. especially with you acting like you didn’t just do acts of unholy sins together.

"fine.. but i'm taking you back to my place after." he says as he grabs you, pulling you on top of him quickly making you both lay down on his bed. both of you sharing laughs when you let out a little squeal from his sudden actions.

"deal." you smile.

─── aid speaks ᝰ.ᐟ ───

╰┈ ⌞₊˚ est. june 2nd, 2024🗒 ˎˊ˗ ⌝

this has been in my drafts for a little and i finally pushed myself to finish it. see you again in a month when i randomly post again !

tags: @breeloveschris @thenickgirl @muwapsturniolo @fratbrochrisgf @recklessmatt @imwetforyourmom @rheaasturn @watercolorskyy @yomamaslays4lyfe @jjmaybankswifes-blog @septumchris @sturniolopepsi @sturniololol @robins-scoop @allexoslur @mattslolita @guccifrog @kqyslyho3 @lustfulslxt @iammattswife @riasturns @stars4chratt @mattybsbitch @8blonded @worldlxvlys @angelic-sturniolos111 @chr1sgirl4life @raysmayhem-72 @mattsturniololoverr @joemamaaa42069 @nayveetbhh @lanas-doll @yomamaslays4lyfe @mattsbabytomato @iluvmattyb @cupidsword @sluttformatt @042502 @sturniluvr @nmegamett20 @milasturniolo @lovesodakid @tillies33ssss @sturnz1uv @mattshands @luvmxtt @venusxsturnio @sturnifyed @st4rnlolo @gamermattsgf

[sweetfushi]

-> SYNOPSIS. how they realised they were attracted to you part 2 (part 1 here). -> TAGS. tobio kageyama, hajime iwaizumi, kotaro bokuto x reader, fluff.

TOBIO KAGEYAMA.

He started viewing you as his inspiration.

You wouldn’t call yourself the strongest or bravest person in the world, but Kageyama thought that there’s just something about you that oozes confidence.

“You’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep mugging like that,” you snort, mushing your fist against his tense forehead. Kageyama groans and slaps your hand away, rolling his eyes at your stuck out tongue. You were almost childlike in your behaviour, but he couldn’t help but turn to you for advice or reassurance about things.

“Is that why you’re so ugly?” He jokes, knowing to shield himself just as you start to punch him all over.

In fact, nothing about you as of now screamed success, you were working hard to reach that just as much as he was. However, despite your two different paths in life and career choices, you started to notice that Kageyama would discuss everything with you, whether you’ve had experience with a topic or not (and you were very much expected to answer).

During matches, when he’d be setting or even just tossing the ball against a wall, he’d have you in mind, cheering him on and insisting that if he gave up now or cut his practise short by a few minutes, he could miss out on great progress.

So he’d listen to the voice of you he had created in his head.

And when it came to actually hearing your voice during official matches, screaming his name and pounding your fists in the air, he couldn’t deny the small smile he’d flash you when attributing each win to you with a raised fist.

He didn’t start noticing these things until Hinata wiggled his eyebrows at him one day. “Tobio, are you in loooooove?” Hinata snickers.

Kageyama slaps the back of his neck and tells him to keep his mouth shut about you.

HAJIME IWAIZUMI.

He wanted to be the one you opened up to.

Iwaizumi wasn’t a particularly social person. In fact, he didn’t really like interacting with people he was unfamiliar with. You, he wasn’t exactly familiar with, but he had seen you at his games and even around campus, texting on your phone or engrossed in a heavy looking book. Much like him, you like to keep to yourself and mind your business. You found that it was the best way to avoid unnecessary drama and relationships.

But Iwaizumi wanted to get in your business and see why you were so much like him. He liked that he found someone like him - at first, to have someone to call a friend, of sorts. As time passed and he talked to you more often, he realised his attraction to you when he started anticipating your arrival at the school’s library.

“How was class?” He asked after developing the courage to approach you. It had been fifteen minutes since you walked in and sat down with your laptop.

You nod. “It was alright, I think I’m just not feelin’ it today,” you murmur, shrugging. Iwaizumi’s brow furrowed and he hesitated before taking the seat opposite you.

“Any reason why?”

You smile, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I feel like talking about it, you know? I don’t wanna burden you—“

“You wouldn’t be burdening me at all,” he insists. For a moment, you two just look at each other, before he averts his gaze with an unmistakable smile.

KOTARO BOKUTO.

He started seeking validation from you.

Bokuto had convinced himself that he was gonna marry you. You’d known each other for four years, and every day he found himself celebrating his successes with you. Akaashi was the first to notice the sparkle in his eyes when he talked to you, but had decided to not point it out.

“Did you see that awesome freakin’ serve I just did? Did you? Did you?” He asks you, practically squealing and jumping up and down at your big smile and reciporcated energy.

“That was so cool, Bo! Can you teach me some time?” You beam, Akaashi smiling at the sight of you two.

“I gotta warn ya’,” Bokuto boasts, placing his hands on his hips and puffing his chest, “I don’t know if you’ll ever be as good as me.”

Sometimes, he’d buy you ring pops and tell you that you’re the only person that truly understands him and is worthy of his affections. You’d go along with it and pretend that you were getting proposed to, telling him, “It’s about time I’m rewarded for the support I show you!”

Bokuto had become known for attributing his successful games to you with a thumbs up at the end of every match. Close to the starting of a game, Bokuto would always ask if you had come, or would search for you in the crowd when walking onto the court. Fans would wave at him, cheer his name and flash banners with his face on them, but all Bokuto truly cared about was seeing your gorgeous face.

And when he did? There wasn’t a single opponent who could prevent him from winning that game.

sweetfushi © do not modify, repost, translate, copy or use my post in any way. all that is included in this post, aside from the fictional characters and universes, belong to sweetfushi (zee).

[roseyswords]

FULL MOON SPOILERS!!!!

So first of all..

I was not expecting to see the cherubs this episode. That... That was a big shock. Seeing them and their plotline was certainly interesting. It was funny seeing their reactions to just everything going on with Blitzø.

And speaking of Blitzø. Um fuck?! My heart that hurt!? "I think so highly of you. I didn't realize you think so little of me" like OUCH? I keep adding question marks to my sentences because my brain can't quite comprehend how it's feeling.

I find it really interesting that Blitzø brought up Stolas's imp butlers. This is a part that has stuck out with me really strongly. Cuz we've seen Stolas squeeze the shit outta one of them when angry on the phone with Stella. And it really makes me wonder just what kind of behavior has Blitzø exactly seen of Stolas interacting with his butlers. Because Stolas is a very rich man, who has only imps working for him and Blitzø noticed.

Which is funny because he notices literally nothing happening around him this whole episode. Which feels thematically relevant. He's always been oblivious to the more emotional side of Stolas's affection for him but that is also by design of how Stolas treats him. Remember Stolas is the same guy who used to get routinely bleeped due to his sheer level of hornyness. Blitzø has only ever seen their relationship through a sexual lens.

I also find it very interesting that he goes into that interaction already extremely worried and insecure and scared out of his mind that Stolas is tired of him. Which makes going in and being confronted with Stolas's emotions even more jarring and confusing for him. He's already coming in with an intense amount of anxiety with the singular goal of pleasing Stolas, which just highlights the unhealthyness of their dynamic that Stolas is trying to break away from.

Moving on to Stolas's mind for a bit. It has got to fucking hurt that when you finally put yourself out there emotionally and the other person immediately thinks you must be fucking with them. I think it really opened his eyes to how their relationship has truly been when Blitzø assumes that this serious conversation must just be some really weird roleplaying scenario.

And when Blitzø yells at him and reveals that he thinks of him as this rich pampered jerk, it is a startling difference of perception between the two of them that Stolas now has to contend with. It is so interesting to me how Stolas in this scenario is trying really hard to think about things from Blitzø's point of view in terms of how their deal must be affecting him, but he's also not prepared or emotionally equipped to think about how that must shape how Blitzø sees him as a person.

So overall that just leaves us with a lot of pain, and anguish, and a really beautiful episode.

And wow...that hurt.

[ariaste]

Is there disability rep in RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND? It seems like pirate books get overlooked for how often they show characters with disabilities.

Jesus christ okay listen. You've activated my trap card, because YES EXACTLY. Disability is one of the CORE TROPES of any pirate story -- is it even a real pirate crew if there aren't people missing some of their bits? And it's not just side characters, is it! Is a pirate captain even a proper captain without a peg-leg, a hook, or an eyepatch?

And yet when we see these characters, or at least when I see these characters, my brain does not register them into the category of "oh, here is a Disabled Character". Like it is wonderful that we are seeing more disability representation in media these days but... It's often not very satisfying, is it? They're like "Here is a very carefully presented Character In A Wheelchair So You Know She Is Disabled-Disabled 😌" and there are all of these rules this character has to follow to be """""properly"""" disabled in exactly one specific way with no variations, and always there is an Issue with her (almost always a woman??) ability to navigate her wheelchair through the landscape so that the media can Prove They Are Being So Thoughtful And Aware Of The Difficulties.

I don't know about you, but for me it always sort of smacks of insincerity. Or like, the overtly intentional and deliberate sincerity, which then comes across as a bit unnatural and uncanny valley. We as the audience are not permitted to simply experience this character as a person, we are forced by the deliberateness of the narrative to experience her as a Disabled Person. Which.... Sure, that's better than not having any disabled representation at all, but there's SO MUCH FURTHER we could go with it! But the first step is for the media creator/s to stop going "look, a Disabled Person [delicate gasp] Wow she's so brave" as if she's a fucking zoo exhibit and start going "look, a Person. she's disabled, and has some other personality traits and hobbies as well."

(I feel like we also went through this journey with Strong Female Characters too, didn't we? Where we had all of these weirdly awkward """sincere"""" attempts at people writing Strong Female Characters and Oooh She Is So Strong, And Ooh Her Femaleness, She Grew Up With Brothers... But that was not what we wanted, we wanted the writers to chill out and just write a woman who was a PERSON and stop making it weird.)

Anyway, back to pirates, because I think we've really been overlooking pirate media for the fact that the disability rep is just right out there in plain sight, and it's so normalized that it would be weirder if it WASN'T there, and the media creator isn't loudly trying to win brownie points for being Virtuous And Inclusive™. (And just because tumblr reading comprehension is piss poor sometimes: yes, there's a difference between trying to be virtuous and inclusive and trying to be Virtuous And Inclusive™, and I bet you can recognize it when you see it.)

Pirate media doesn't make it weird! Pirate media doesn't try to camouflage the fact that a character is disabled ("Yar, and here's No-Legs Bob, on account o' he's got no legs, that'll teach 'im to make jokes like he's pretending to fuck the cannon" "somebody hold me up and i'll fuck the cannon again" "[raucous laughter throughout the whole crew]") nor does it deny that their disability causes problems sometimes (the ol' "peg-leg got stuck in a knothole in the deck" gag, or the classic "whoops, tried to stab someone with my hook hand but they dodged and it got embedded in the planks" gambit). Pirate media offers a huge VARIETY of disabilities too, instead of just One Token Wheelchair User -- you've got people with prosthetic limbs, you've got people partially or fully blind or deaf, you've got people who are mute (and also btw look at this amazing parrot or monkey they have, it killed a man once), you've got elderly people who aren't quite as spry as they once were but oooh they Know The Sea like nobody else, you've got people who struggle a lot with their disability and need extra help and support AND people who are not slowed down at all and just livin' their life the way they do.

Y'know. Actual diversity.

Also the only time pirate media draws deliberate attention to the disability is 1) if there's a cool story behind it that is somehow relevant to the plot ("[captain looking balefully at his hook hand] me hand was bitten off by a WHALE.... i've been chasing that whale for the last forty years....") or 2) if it provides a fun way to show the culture and community of the crew as a whole (see the No-Legs Bob example, above). Also notice that in pirate media, you are allowed to directly address the disability and make a harmless, casual joke about it ("No-Legs Bob" again) and it doesn't feel mean or weird, it's just.... descriptive. It's just the way that pirates be. Yep. No-Legs Bob ain't got no legs. So what? It is there in his name and yet it still doesn't feel like it's the only thing about him.

The vibes are just.... UTTERLY DIFFERENT from the disability rep i've seen in other media. And so i think we should be looking at pirate media more and striving to emulate it when it comes to disability rep, because THERE'S SOMETHING HERE, they're doing something INTERESTING, there is something worth thinking about and studying, what are they doing and how are they doing it and how can we replicate that in other things? (Also, even real life pirates were better about disability than many other folks -- they had PENSIONS for crew members who couldn't work anymore.)

ANYWAY back to your question of whether there is disability rep in Running Close to the Wind.

Short answer: yes. Long answer: do you want a whole inventory?

Captain Teveri has a prosthetic eye (it's covered in gold leaf, inspired by this Tumblr Heritage post which I'm sure we have all seen). Also facial scarring, which is not really a disability but still does not get a whole lot of representation.

Many of the crew have hook-hands or peg-legs

Avra says you are not a real pirate until you are missing some of your bits, and makes some joke about how he only has a Weird Toe or something

A side character, Skully (so called because he has a hobby of carving skulls in things and is currently working on carving a GIANT skull into the face of the cliff overlooking the entrance to the pirate cove, because obviously every pirate cove is required by the Trope Laws to have a skull cliff but my question was WHO PUT IT THERE? answer: this guy), has two peg-legs and a hook hand and still goes abseiling by himself to carve the skull onto the cliff, nbd nbd. Probably got the best abs in the book, but tragically Avra, the POV character, did not think to notice them

Elderly grandmother in a wheelchair who threatens to stab Julian the Super Hot Monk through the ear with a knitting needle

Julian is described as standing out from everyone else explicitly because he's NOT missing any bits and that's odd (comes kinda close to missing some bits, though, he plays around with alchemical explosives at one point. man's on track to be missing a couple fingers sooner or later, so just... y'know, let him cook, trust the process, he's still growing as a person)

(this one is a joke) arguably Avra's Weird Luck Thing could count as some kind of chronic illness, considering that it is a thing which materially affects his life and which he does not have control over and cannot predict when it will come into affect. DISCUSS. (again: a joke)

[steps gingerly off soapbox] thank you for coming to my TED talk

(Also: RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND comes out in ten days on June 11th! It's a comedic fantasy novel about queer pirates stealing and trying to find a buyer for the most valuable secret in the world and fighting back against oppressive institutional powers! You can read a review of it here and the first chapter of it here, and you can preorder it here.)

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: I'm Starting To Think That This Drow Guy Is Kind Of An Asshole Edition.

Probably a Ranger in the hunter subclass. I actually intended to multi-class him as fighter/ranger at some point and make that his official class, but I haven't had time/quite figured out the best build that would still suit him - Ranger makes a LOT of sense with his backstory, arguably more than fighter, but he's still supposed to be a magic-less brick-house with 19 strength who hasn't handled a bow and arrow in 10 years, so I'm not sure where that leaves us LOL

A lot of people have suggested that Berserk Barbarian would fit him well, but I think that implies a lot of other characteristics that do NOT suit him at all so 🤷

HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CRECHE, and honestly it made the game feel much more immersive to pick one path and stick to it like Halsin suggested, even if I did have to endure the shadow cursed lands without the shiny mace 😂

Probably for the best, it'd be a real shame if the story ended there just because he didn't like Vlaakith's attitude.

But yeah Lae'zel (who, for the record, I adore) never stood a chance in his playthrough. Sorry baby girl.

I'm either uninformed or we have different definitions of what constitutes a crush, but sure I'll play in this space LOL

He's both jealous but also kind of aloof when it comes to things like that. It's yet another symptom of his arrogance, where it seems unfathomable that anyone who has him would be genuinely tempted by someone else. He doesn't mind a normal amount of glance-stealing and flattery, even playful flirting to a degree, but if there's persistence or if his partner seems to seek another person out for things he thinks he should be providing, he feels threatened.

Also, he has a difficult time discerning that "deep emotional connection" does not equal "romantic interest". So, at least immediately after the events of the game, he's more likely to be made insecure by his partners forming deep bonds with others than any throwaway expression of physical desire or fleeting infatuation.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Let me preface this with the (hopefully unnecessary) disclaimer that this murderous dark-elf's opinions are not my own, and that I very much purposefully made a bit of an asshole character because I find that entertaining.

And now that you're hopefully primed for what's coming - DU drow is pretty damn judgemental of people's looks save for the rare times when they give him a good impression right off the bat. He notes people's appearances and makes preemptive assumptions about them without even realizing it. He definitely does not equal beauty to value or prowess (in fact he will very much still mock of you if you seem too concerned with your appearance) but he does prescribe things based on looks.

I don't think he'd take issue with what you're describing, It sounds like a pretty average body, but he would assume that person is weaker and less fit to "keep up with him", basically. Which kind of diminishes interest.

As far as to what he finds immediately attractive, he definitely prefers people who seem physically fit (not more than himself though - gods forbid). But, the caveat to this whole tangent is that once you get past initial impressions, he could definitely come to be sexually attracted to pretty much any type of body attached to the person he's in love with.

Thank you! There was no main event, just the building up of resentment over time and the opportunity she saw opening up when the Chosen's plan came into motion. She definitely didn't always hate him though, they had a fairly close relationship until his obsessive behavior and arrogance became an issue.

Thank you!!!

They call him the/that drow, dark elf, or "big drow" if there's more than one present. In private they might facetiously call him Bhaalspawn if they get tired of referring to him by race.

I'll be honest, I forgot whether or not I found it in his playthrough LOL but if he did stumble across that would be VERY funny. He'd be like "look at these idiots and their fake murder god. What kind of dimwit would worship carnage as a religion. Hey Shadowheart get a load of this-"

HAPPY YOU ENJOY HIM! I think his unique situation overall with having been such a overwhelmingly horrid person and forgetting all about it is my favorite bit. That's kind of vague, I know, but I often think of dreams I've had where I committed a crime or did something horrible, and that immediate feeling of relief and disconnect that follows immediately after waking up. That's kind of what I imagine it's like for him - he knows of the things he did, but he doesn't really. In theory it's all true but that's a truth far too fantastical for anyone to conceptualize even if it's put right in front of your face.

That, tackling the guilt (or lack thereof) of something you genuinely don't feel like you've done and the intricacies of it, that's a fascinating state of mind to explore. I love how many directions you can take that.

For me, having a character who is not good, but is not necessarily pure unadulterated evil, makes for a lot of complex thought experiments and contradictory values. DU drow has a lot of those - things he believes and abides by absolutely except for this specific instance, being contradictory is a pillar of his character and it can be a little challenging to keep up with it - but I'd be lying if I said I don't deeply enjoy that aspect as well all the same.

THANK YOUUUU It took me so long to figure out how to draw Astarion in a way I liked, I'm so relieved that others enjoy it too 😂

Shockingly he did succeed it and was immediately put-off by it, lmao. They wouldn't really develop much of a relationship for a while after that, so at that point DU drow just figured he was trying to get something from him and wrote him off, much as he did with everyone else with the exception of Shadowheart.

He didn't meet her at the Tiefling grove! I didn't even know you could meet her before-hand for the longest time. But he did super, duper kill her at camp of course.

He managed to hide the body and everyone else was none the wiser, huge blood bhaal-sigil on the ground aside lmao. He was a little shocked but didn't feel all that bad about it, kind of resigning to that primal feeling of satisfaction at a job-well-done that overwhelmed him instead. He decided she was too weak to survive out there and he had just spared her the trouble.

[schlong2]

latest fix rant time

none of my friends want to talk to me about monkey movies and then i remembered i have a whole blog dedicated to my latest fixations so. i've watched Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes two (TWICE ✌️) times in theaters. this was after watching the newer trilogy (Rise, Dawn & War) and the first 1968 original in prep.

things (SPOILERS!!!):

Kingdom's run time is 2 hours and 25 minutes. this is incredibly long for a movie. compared to 1968's 1 hour and 52 minutes, that's a half hour difference. Infinity War was 2 hours and 36 minutes for reference. that's a whole marvel cinimatic convergence, but ape. the run time isn't exactly the issue i've seen talked about. it's the pacing. sitting twice through this movie was not a problem for me. i sat there engaged all the way through. on the second watch, i tried to be mindful of times in which it might have been dragging for the average person, and i like, literally couldn't find any. pretty much every scene had meaning and didn't drag imo. which is something these newer movies do extremely well. Kingdom is pretty equally split between verbal communication and sign language compared to the first three before it. the apes use both verbal and visual cues to talk. but because they don't talk every single time, it makes every moment that they do feel special. it reminds me of the Quiet Place concept, where most of the movie you only hear a human voice a few select times when it's safe to do so. Rise, Dawn, & War were kind of like this, as Caesar only really spoke when he was trying to make a point or communicating to humans, who are mostly speaking in those movies. he speaks more as he gets more fluent, and by War, he can speak very well. we see other apes like Koba, Maurice, Blue Eyes, and Bad Ape also speak English. these moments are rationed pretty well throughout Kingdom, making the dialog more select and meaningful. this makes every time these beasts talk feel like it means something and isn't just fluff to fill your ears. every other scene feels like it's building or showing a side of a character we hadn't seen before, and the scenes between those advance the plot or are like, really action-packed. i just don't see why some people say it has pacing problems. it's just long. i understand the average person's attention span is super short, but when you're sitting down to watch two and a half hours of movie, you gotta know there's gonna be downtime. moments where they're not fighting or advancing the plot. and i think that's GOOD man. but im also not one for action/adventures very much so maybe that's it? i think a lot of people maybe watch these apes for the violence and conflict rather than their introspection, genuinely thoughtful world building, and complex characters. and hey, that's completely fine to enjoy, but POTA is originally about morals and asking the audience questions and posing dilemmas to popular beliefs at the time. ok

Raka. he's great. Peter Macon has this butter smooth voice that's just perfect for the kind of character he plays. you can't help but like him. but he dies like 1/3 into the movie and is really only there to religion dump about Caesar (ape jesus) and then he's swept away. people are complaining that that's all he was really there for. to explain the real values of Caesar and provide a foil to Proximus. and i agree to some degree. i really hope he's not actually dead. his presence and death are felt throughout the movie, as both Mae and Noa (mostly Noa vocalizes it, Mae just silently shares in his loss and i think cries at one point?) seem to mourn him, saying shit like "if Raka were here..." and especially at the end when Noa gives the Caesar pendant to her. it's the shared memory of Raka and what he devoted his life to. but they never really like, actually linger on his death. there's a moment after he's swept away, and the shot stays on the rushing waters, Raka no longer visible and plays some sad tunes, but like. C'MON. he's not really dead. he isn't please tell me he isn't PLEASE

Noa isn't Caesar. i honestly do not get why you would want otherwise. of course, he isn't Caesar. we don't need another Caesar. he had a whole three movies to be the center of. i would be extremely disappointed if they just made a carbon copy of him or made Noa like a direct descendant of him or whatever. i hate that Chosen One bullshit. Caesar was just a guy that wanted peace for his people and that got him killed in the end. Noa is also a guy who wants peace for his clan. they're both leaders and have good hearts, but like. they're different characters. i LIKE that Noa has no relation to Caesar, i LIKE that he's his own character with his own ideals and purpose. Owen Teague does a wonderful job making the character his own. i mean Andy Serkis is Andy fucking Serkis. pretty big shoes to fill and i think Teague has the right foot size you know. i heard one guy say like "we've had our time to mourn Caesar" and yeah. we have. let's accept that and move on

WHERE MY APE DIVERSITY AT. we get a fuck ton of chimps, ONE orangutan, ONE gorilla, and ONE bonobo. what the hell. i mean. what is with the bonobo villian. Koba i fucks with because bonobos are some of the most playful, nonviolent apes out there. that humanity and its cruelty could twist a naturally peaceful creature into what Koba became.. i mean, that's great. but again with Proximus? maybe trying to evoke some of the same energy and nuance Koba had? ALSO. GORILLA PSA they are like so sweet. all that muscle is there to protect their families, and they're strictly vegetarians. i feel like Rise, Dawn, & War portrayed this better with most of the gorillas getting bodyguard jobs because of all their bulk. especially when Luca tucks that flower in Nova's ear. man. and Red going out like he did. gentle giants. in Kindgom we just have Sylva. gorilla henchman for Proximus. that's it. then we have Raka, the one orangutan character that i saw. wise and knowledgeable, guides and accompanies Noa and Mae then dies. at least we get one female chimp character that's more than just wife or mother. wikipedia lists Soona as Noa's love interest, which i can totally dig, like it's there. he takes her to the telescope at the end of Kingdom, which is more than what we saw romance-wise between Caesar and Cornelia. and the only other important chimp female is Dar, Noa's mom. in Rise, Dawn & War there was usually only one of each species of ape assigned a main role, but we saw much more diversity it felt like. maybe that's because there were smaller in numbers and have since spread out in the last 300 years? also like, bonobos are known for having female-female & male-male sex. dont know about the other apes. my friend mentioned that Raka said something about having a male companion and promptly searched reddit. all they had to say was: gaype?

the visuals. dear god the visuals. this movie is just visually stunning. absolutely breathtaking. they did a great job. i mean Rise, Dawn, & War are all triumphs of cgi and are excellent examples of the animation style done right. i did hear some guy say there is a loss of texture, as mostly everything in Kingdom is cgi, from the characters to the landscapes. but there's an explosion of texture in this film. there's one point where Noa is covered in the ash of his village and you can see it on his fur. there's quite a couple water scenes where the moisture clings to the apes' fur. It's all very impressive. great work

the references!! Rise especially has a ton of them (IT'S A MADHOUSE!!! & GET YOUR STINKIN PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE), and names like Nova and Cornelius, but Kingdom... i picked up on at least three main instances, but im sure there are more. there's the scene where the apes are rounding up the feral humans, and its very reminiscent of the scene from 1968 where they're doing the same thing for sport. there's the scene where Mae is running in the field, and she jumps on that log structure to get to Noa, which is nearly identical to a similar scene in 1968. the scene when Noa, Soona, and Anaya are exploring the human bunker and they come across an old classroom. one of them picks up a doll that says a distorted "Mama" which was huge in the original because that was evidence that once man did speak, why else would he make a doll that talked? superb call backs to the og. respect what was there before

SCHLONG THEORY

here me out guys. the starring ape-human relationship in Rise was between Caesar and Will. this type of love is called storge and describes the love a child has for a parent as well as the love a parent has for their child.

the starring ape-human relationship in Dawn was ultimately between Caesar and Malcolm. which i believe is truly philia towards the end, the love between friends and allies. just two dudes trying to keep peace in the world.

in War, i mean Caesar well and truly hates the Colonel. like more than he's hated any human in his life before. close to mania, obsession. anyways it's a study on this type of relationship between an ape and a human. true, all consuming hate.

SO in the newer movies we've explored familial love, platonic love, and hate, between an ape and a human.

in Kingdom the main ape-human relationship is between Noa and Mae. and their relationship is complex. not really that friendly and certainly not familial. no trust. some kind of begrudging respect maybe? i just think it would be neat if in further installments they explored a romantic love between a human and an ape. ok.

i KNOW Noa and Soona are probably going to get ape married and they're never going to touch on the subject but i just find it hard to believe that in the last 300 years or so that's NEVER been heard of. apes have the same level of intimacy between each other as humans do in this universe and can willingly consent. what are you so afraid of wes ball

after all, the whole franchise is about how apes, when given intelligence, compare to humans and begs the question: how different are we really?

is it possible for an ape and a human to fall in love?

[cbrownjc]

Theory: Why this second 'Interview' is happening

So a few weeks ago, Rolin Jones said that there was a reason the second interview had to happen, which will be revealed this season. And we would learn the reason why one character needed it to happen in ep 2x05; then we would learn why another character needed it to happen in 2x08 (the season finale).

Now the person we will learn needs the second interview to happen in episode 2x05 will, IMO, be Louis. For now, he seems the most clear as being one of the two people IMO. For, as we saw in ep 2x01 Louis knows he hasn't been remembering everything correctly, but that he really wants to. At the moment, Louis has been (deliberately) sidetracked from thinking/wondering if anything else he remembers might not be fully correct but, by ep 2x05, he'll start questioning that again IMO.

Plus, for some reason, Louis is very insistent on this interview taking place and happening no matter what. Because just thinking over everything that has happened storywise up to this point? I actually don't think Louis is in any way fully aware of just how off his memories are. I think he knows something feels off or wrong but he can't quite fully place what that is.

So yes, IMO, Louis is the first character who needed the second interview to happen.

But who is the second character who needed the second interview to happen? Well, this theory very much includes book spoilers (that IMO the show is very much hinting at) to talk about, so I'm giving fair warning right now: this theory very deeply goes into something from the books, as well as tying into another theory I have for what might happen at the end of the season. So, just to be safe, I'm going to place this next part under a spoiler cut:

The character who, IMO, will be revealed as needing this second interview to happen, which we will learn in ep 2x08, will be Claudia.

Yep. IMO Claudia is the one who needed the second interview to happen. Or, more importantly, her spirit/ghost does.

And what clicked this for me is remembering something Delainey herself noted in an interview before the season started which was -- yes, Claudia's journals are there but even they can't give you a full and accurate picture of Claudia and her story. So how can Claudia speak and tell her story?

And that is where this second interview comes in. Because, if you know the book, Merrick, then you know that book contained what was thought to be an appearance of Claudia's ghost/spirit. But that wasn't the only book where we see Claudia's ghost/spirit. We also see her in Tale of the Body Theif . . . or, at least Lestat sees her.

And who was the main antagonist of TotBT? Raglan James. Who, hell, even if Justin Kirk really isn't Raglan James (and is actually Marius or someone else) still works IMO -- in the context of hinting toward that storyline that had Lestat haunted by memories of Claudia and dealing with seeing her "spirit" talking to him.

Because yes, I do think very much that Louis is seeing Claudia's spirit right now, in some way. Just like he did in the book Merrick.

And it's from seeing her spirit and just feeling that something is wrong wrt all of what's going on about it, that has Louis so insistent that this second interview has to happen.

And it's why four other people have come to do this same thing Daniel is doing and either ended up dead . . . or undead.

Hell because again, if you know the story in Merrick then you know Merrick Mayfair herself is the one Louis enlisted to help him summon and speak to Claudia's spirit in the first place; and she ended up putting Louis under a spell to make him turn her into a vampire.

Maybe that comment from Raglan James was a hint about that having already happened to the show's version of Merrick Mayfair. Who's maybe already been there to help summon Claudia's spirit in the first place?

Anyway . . .

IMO, Claudia's ghost/spirit is not only around, but IMO she wants what really happened to her to be known; the truth of not only why Louis and Lestat created her, but how she was failed by them and, most of all, the full truth of not only how she felt about both of them about it all, but also the truth surrounding her death (The Frankenstein Experiment) to not just be revealed but understood . . . mainly understood by Louis and Lestat.

And no, the reason Claudia's spirit wants this isn't benevolent. Just as the spirit of Claudia in the books wasn't benevolent when Lestat and Louis encountered her in them. What she wants, I think most of all, is for them both to face the truth of their actions and what that makes them (in her eyes).

I don't think Louis knows all this of course. I think he just knows Claudia's spirit is still around for some reason and that he thinks going over everything that happened wrt his life will help him figure that reason out.

And after four previously failed attempts Daniel was brought in for the simple reason that, unlike maybe three of the first four, Armand won't kill Daniel to stop this whole thing. (And, you know, if Merrick Mayfair was the first of those four, Daniel can't steal either of their blood to try and make himself a vampire.)

And can I just say, if this theory is correct, then I don't think Claudia's spirit is going to rest after she convinces Louis to do in the show what her spirit in the book convinced him to do. Because again, Lestat also got haunted by the spirit of Claudia in TotBT. And while I'm not sure he'd see her spirit in Season 3 when he begins to tell his story and POV of things (and so when we see Claudia it will be when she's alive during flashback sequences) I do think the show would be setting up for her spirit to do so going forward after that.

Because spirit entities do play a major role in what is to come in the overall story I think the show is heading to (which I and others think will be a combination of the Akasha and Amel threats in Queen of the Damned and Prince Lestat). Starting off by showing Claudia as a spirit entity can be used to begin to ease non-book readers into this concept IMO.

And all of this fits very much with why Armand not only doesn't want this interview to happen but still reluctantly let it happen. Because, if you know his backstory, Armand very much can see spirits and ghosts unaided. That is how strong his Mind Gift abilities are. So if Claudia's spirit/ghost is around in the Dubai penthouse, Armand would very well know that. And so would very much not want her spirit hanging around anymore if at all possible. Because of what Claudia's spirit could, at some point, communicate about him. ("My name is in some of those pages.")

Because I do think that while Louis does know about the role Armand played in Claudia's death, IMO Louis doesn't know about The Frankenstein Experiment. Because, in the books, nobody knew about that -- least of all Louis and Lestat -- until Armand himself revealed it over a century later in The Vampire Armand.

And the show is very much not cutting that moment out but, instead, has been hinting and foreshadowing about it.

I said in another post that I think Armand is, for lack of a better metaphor, like a little kid who wet the bed and now is trying to hide the sheets when it specifically comes to this. This is why he's against the interview happening because it being revealed will crumble the contented life he feels he's built with Louis in Dubai. Because Armand just craves love and being loved so much and not being alone . . . and is fearful he very much will be if this all goes in the direction it could.

One of Armand's major faults is that, when he loves someone, he tends to go way, way, WAY overboard in trying to either secure that person's love . . . or to keep it. If you know the book TVL, Armand did that with Lestat, (forcing himself into Lestat's mind and drinking Lestat's blood without permission), and that is the reason Lestat, in the end, could never trust Armand enough to be companions with him.

And Armand repeated that same pattern with Louis in Paris in allowing Claudia to be killed when, as coven master, he very well could have prevented it.

And now Armand is doing something way overboard, once again, in Dubai, in trying to hide the one thing regarding Claudia in Paris that Louis doesn't know about -- as well as keep Louis safe from doing something extreme if Louis remembers everything the real way it happened . . . as well as hiding the one thing about it all -- regarding Armand's own role in Claudia's fate that Louis still doesn't know about (and in the book Armand says he kept closely hidden until this moment).

Many book readers have always wondered about that Frankenstein reveal because, once Armand reveals it, it's never brought up again. We never hear how Louis and Lestat felt about learning about it. However, I think the show is very much going to give Louis and Lestat both a reaction to and about it when they learn of it. (And no, they are not going to kill Armand for it. But Armand might just be right to worry that Louis learning about it very well might cause his life with Louis in Dubai to be destroyed.)

So yeah, IMO, the second character that Rolin said would be revealed to be wanting this second interview in ep 2x08 is Claudia. And, IMO, this theory also fits with what Jacob said about this being Claudia's season more than anyone else's.

[biolumien]

Hi!! Your rooftop smoke fic with Hoshina was just superb. 😭💖

Was wondering If could request a scenario where they had been mutually pining for one another. And they'd, on more than one occasion catch each other's eyes across the room. And a handful of people from the Defense Force notices. Cause could they be more obvious?

Whether that would end up angsty or with a happy ending is up to you! I love the way you write for Hoshina. You capture him pretty perfectly haha

Stay safe and healthy!!

notes: omg... thank you for your compliments... it means smsm! uhh... well. this kinda took on a life of its own, i'm sorry. i hope you don't mind ;-;;

say it! come on, say it!

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader alternatively: romcom except then i smacked it so hard with angst at the end. sorry. word count: 2400

“you need to close your mouth when you’re staring.” you feel the ice-cold touch of a can press against your cheek, and you shriek as you stare up at–

“ah, fuck. i’m not staring, narumi,” you mutter, taking the soda can from him. narumi seemed less than convinced, his eyes barely visible from underneath his bangs. 

“o-kay. and you’re totally not ogling hoshina with googly eyes.” narumi cracks open his own soda, taking a long sip from the can. “why don’t you just date already? i’m gonna be honest, i’m sick of you looking at him like that. it’s boring, bland, predictable… fuckin’ hate that will they won’t they bullshit.” 

“i can’t,” you complain dramatically. 

hoshina, from the other side of the room, was talking to captain ashiro while examining some paperwork. occasionally, okonogi would come over, point out some new development, and there’d seem to be another heated debate between the three. you always liked seeing hoshina in his element—whether it be instructing other officers, training with his blades, or awkwardly not making eye contact with him when he spoke to you. 

“like hell you can’t!” narumi hissed, reaching out to put you in a headlock. “stop looking at him like that!” 

“like hell what? who’s looking at who?” 

hoshina had come over, staring at the two of you, right as narumi’s arm was beginning to wrap around your neck. narumi immediately flew back from you as you laughed nervously. 

“uhh, like hell i, umm…” you fumbled for an answer, staring up at hoshina nervously. why had he just come over? why was he looking at you like that? your lips quiver for a moment.

“oh, relax!” hoshina clapped you across the back, laughing. “you look so nervous! like you’ve just confessed you had some very, very personal feelings or something! that’s adorable…” 

let me die, you think furtively as hoshina’s hand brushes your shoulder. narumi’s face was pinched. 

“don’t let narumi bully you too much; he’s just a little lowlife, after all,” hoshina said with teasing venom in his voice. 

“you bitch,” narumi growled. “i have no idea how they see anything in y—” his face paled as the words left his lips, and you think you almost see god for a minute. you hide your face with your hands, waiting for hoshina’s verdict, and you swear that the next moment you get, you were going to make narumi very sorry for spilling your metaphorical, hell, call them literal at this point, guts out in the open. 

“hmm?” hoshina hums. the world fell silent—at least silent to you, in any case, your eardrums pounding in time with your heartbeat. “well—”

“vice captain hoshina!” mina ashiro’s voice was sharp and piercing. “time to go.” 

“huh?” hoshina cocks his head. “ah, of course, captain. be right there!” 

he turned to you and narumi with a small smile, one of his fangs peeking out for a moment before waving his fingers. 

“see you.” he nods his head to you specifically before he turns away. 

you wait until you are absolutely, absolutely sure he’s out of earshot before turning on narumi, throwing your soda can at his head. 

“fuck!” narumi swore. “what the fuck was that for?” 

“you idiot! why did you basically confess to him for me?!” you hiss. “i’m trying to count on you to not run your damn mouth!” 

“hoshina’s an idiot,” narumi says sullenly. “i bet he didn’t even notice.” 

[…]

the walk through the hallway was silent, up until—

“you’re red,” mina says, her hand reaching for her skirt pocket to pull out her phone. 

“stop,” hoshina’s voice is strangled, far more strangled than he’d like it to be. “no, i’m serious. no photos. you’ll need to talk to my PR agent about that.” hoshina’s ears were tinged pink, and he raised his hands to try and hide the flush. 

“hoshina,” okonogi sounded disapproving, “why don’t you just confess already? i’m getting tired watching you get so concerned over them…” 

“ha! confess,” hoshina laughs. “and what good would that do? i’m not exactly peak romance material, you know this…” 

“the only one not noticing that is you, hoshina,” mina mutters. “you get all sullen when they leave and happy when they come back, but you have to act like a… hmm… what does he act like, okonogi?” 

hoshina’s eyes went wide as okonogi hummed. 

“a cat!” okonogi declares emphatically. 

“yes. you’re right,” mina says decisively. “that’s a good fit. you act like a cat about it. you try to—”

“stop. stop it, stop it, i don’t want to hear it. stop analyzing my personality. this isn’t some kind of joke,” hoshina says, his voice sounding more flustered as he went on. “they’re never gonna say yes. it’s stupid. confessing like this… it would only be a burden on all of us.” 

mina and okonogi exchanged a look.

“besides, i’m a bad boyfriend. remember that last girl, from operations,” hoshina laughed. “broke her heart in three seconds flat.” 

“… if i remember correctly, you liked her quite a lot, though,” okonogi said hesitantly. 

“ha! so what if i did?” hoshina asked. “she only just left when i… hm.” his smile seemed to falter somewhat, but he laughed. “it’s fine. it’s fine. i’m fine.” 

behind his back, mina and okonogi exchanged another look. 

but his mind flickered back to his hand on your back, and wondered if you leaning into his touch was a fluke. 

[…]

you stare at hoshina from across the room. he’s eating by himself, half a piece of melon bread in his mouth as he stared down at some papers in his hand. you’d have asked to sit next to him, if only you were braver. but you were a coward, so here you were. you stare down at your own food, tearing off a corner of the red bean bun you were eating, popping it in your mouth. 

your crush on hoshina was about as subtle as a freight train. which is to say, you felt it coming on, and then by the time you’d fully reconciled it, you were already being run over repeatedly. it was just grappling, mostly, with how cool he was, endlessly. 

you wondered what it would be like to live under the intensity of his stare, as it enveloped you whole. 

would it be like a benevolent fire? or would he raze you so wholly that there’d be nothing left? 

you wanted to find out. you wanted to find out, but you were so scared he’d burn you before you could even get close. but what was important was that hoshina, for sure, didn’t even bother to reciprocate your feelings. that’s what you were so sure of—because why would someone like him give you the pleasure of his time? surely his time was more valuable than wasting it on a nobody like you. 

his intensity, sharpened to a fine point, was better spent figuring out how to permanently eradicate the kaiju threat altogether. 

right?

you sighed miserably. 

“now that sounds like a miserable sound to me,” hoshina’s voice rang out right next to your ear. 

you nearly jumped out of your skin as soon as you heard his voice, too focused for a second on the soft, tickling sensation of his breath against the shell of your ear. your face bloomed bright red, and you immediately backed away from him, your heart pounding loudly in your chest. 

“hoshina!” you stammer. “what—what are you doing?” 

“eating?” hoshina raises his eyebrow, a teasing smirk on his lips. “noticed you were staring. take a picture, by the way, if you want. they do last longer than the momentary glances.” he sat down next to you, continuing to eat.

so he had noticed you staring. 

“s-sorry. for staring,” you say. 

“huh? why are you sorry?” hoshina asks, cocking his head at you, one of his eyes opening a bit wider. “i don’t mind. if i minded, i woulda said something.” your face flushed a little more at his words, and you looked away as he laughed. 

“you really are cute,” he says fondly, reaching out a hand to pat your head.

… huh?

“what?” you ask weakly. 

“huh? did i say something weird?” hoshina asks, the picture perfect image of innocence—or so you’d say, if his eyes weren’t narrowed at you, and the smile on his face a little too much like a smirk, waiting for how you’d react. 

“no…? i guess? it’s just not something i thought you’d say. to me,” you say falteringly, looking away for a moment. 

“mm. i guess i should make a habit of saying it more, huh?” hoshina teases, removing his hand from your head. 

and as you fluster a little more, you curse god for your crush on soshiro hoshina. 

[…]

“you need to quit fucking around,” narumi says, pointing a dumbbell at hoshina in the training room. 

“fucking around? i’m doing nothing of the sort,” hoshina says, that mask of innocence still on his face. narumi’s brow furrows. 

“sure, and you don’t also ogle… you need to get your shit together and confess, or swear to god, i’ll kill one of you. or, hell, why don’t we just kill both of you so i don’t have to fucking look at you?” narumi scoffs, anger spiking in his voice. 

“ha, yeah, maybe if you do that i’ll finally be free from hearing your annoying, grating voice,” hoshina says, prodding narumi in the chest.

“yeah, but then you won’t confess your feelings and then i’ll have to die knowing i broke up a couple that hadn’t even gotten together,” narumi grumbles. “i’m not a monster.”

“huh?” hoshina asks.

narumi looked like he was about to blow a gasket.

“wait, so you didn’t know they reciprocate?”

“i–well, i… hoped?” hoshina says, realizing how stupid he must sound. his mind flit back to your reactions the past few days–hell, the past few weeks? maybe the past few months? “oh. shit.”

“oh. shit. indeed,” narumi mocks. “so, are you going to tell them?”

“i…” hoshina suddenly realized how terrified he was. his face paled, his hand coming up to his mouth. “i… shit. wait. this is–fuck. i…” he ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs up past his face, a shaking sigh passing his lips. “no. this is… how would i even begin to explain it? i’m not… i can’t. i’m not–i can’t be a good partner. not in this line of work. my judgement could be compromised! that wouldn’t–”

“your judgement is already compromised,” narumi says, a bared snarl-turned-smile on his lips. “you know, hoshina. this is probably the most interesting you’ve ever been. you’re always facades, niceties. pretended you were untouchable, swimming in that sea of self-loathing and ineptitude. but maybe you’re beginning to live a little, aren’t you?”

hoshina’s eyes widened.

living?

[...]

it’d always come to the worst, you thought. you coughed up a mouthful of blood as another round of rubble began to creak overhead. you tried to force your body to move, and your suit pulsed in response to your movements, attempting to close the bloody gashes across your body from the kaiju attack. 

“command, come in,” you gasped out, holding up a shaking hand to your in-ear. you winced as there was only a clicking static in response–was no one coming? were you all alone? were you going to die like this, your limbs barely even able to hold up their own weight even with most of your combat power unleashed? is this all you were good for? your knees buckled as you collapsed onto the ground, coughing out a mouthful of blood.

were you going to die like this?

you couldn’t.

you didn’t want to.

your vision swam a bit as you coughed out another mouthful of blood, your mind lingering.

hoshina had touched your back right before you’d left, a small smile crossing his face.

“don’t die,” he’d said. 

and here you were, stumbling through the rubble, hurting so badly that you might as well be dead. 

it was utterly and painfully cliche to think about letting hoshina down. you didn’t want to, and yet there was a horrifying possibility that you would. and as you buckled again, collapsing onto your knees, you coughed out another mouthful of blood.

fuck.

“command,” you repeated, in a weaker voice. “please. if someone–if anyone can hear me–i need help. suit damage is–” you cough again, wiping blood from your mouth. “--critical. please.” 

and as your vision swam, you felt a hand press against your shoulder.

“there you are.”

you blinked hard, staring up at the face of soshiro hoshina, who’d pulled his mask off, leaning down to pull you into his arms.

“hoshina,” you whisper. “i’m sorry–i shouldn’t have… i got…”

“why are you apologizing?” hoshina asks, his voice sounding more choked than you’d like it to be.

“i didn’t mean to–i didn’t mean for this to happen.” you think you’re bleeding across hoshina’s suit, across his gloves as you press your head against his shoulder. 

hoshina laughs desperately, wetly.

“you didn’t mean to–of course you didn’t mean to!” hoshina protests. “the attack was more than any of us could have predicted–of course you didn’t mean for any of this happen–i don’t want you to apologize for that.” his hand reaches up to swipe some blood away from your brow. “come on, love. i have to tell you how i feel–that bastard was right, after all. my judgement was compromised from the beginning, around you.” 

“that bastard? narumi?” you ask, coughing a bit. why did it feel so cold? your eyes fluttered for a moment,  “what does he have to do with any of this–”

“i love you,” hoshina says. “i’m sorry it took me this long to tell you. and i’m selfish, for waiting until you’re bloodied, like this, to tell you.” you didn’t like the desperate look in his eyes like he was convinced you were going to die. you leaned up, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“you bastard,” you muttered. “couldn’t you have thought up a better time and place for all of this?” 

“no,” hoshina admits. “because i’m selfish, after all.” he smiles at you, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly. “come on. let’s get you to the medbay. i’m not letting you die on me yet.”

“okay,” you whispered weakly. “okay.”

[i-care-4u]

TALK TO ME | PEDRI

PAIR: PEDRI X READER

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST

you were invited to pablo’s party alongside his barcelona teammates and a few others. as you entered, you were immediately greeted by pablo and his sister, aurora.

at this point, you and the gaviras were like family. ever since meeting them because of your guardian’s interactions with their mother, you and the siblings got closer as the ages pass by. although things have changed because of career choices, one thing you can agree on was that barcelona is the move. you love barcelona as much as they do.

“hey guys!” you waved at the gavira siblings and they exchanged a smile towards before coming up to you.

starting with the left cheek, aurora exchanged kisses with you, “you finally made it!”

“i did!” you posed.

pablo joined, “thanks for coming in tonight. feel free to serve yourself some food, and drinks will be right in the fridge.”

you nod to pablo, messing up his hair, “thank you pablito!”

-

after greeting everyone inside the party, you decided to sit down and listen to the recent gossip. you were accompanied by pablo’s friend group.

as people slowly got off the couch, you saw that as your cue to leave somewhere else. however, fermín desperately asked you to stay.

“where are you going?” fermín asked you, “you’re going to miss the best part of the story!”

“i’m going to grab a drink and go outside.” you said as you start making your way into the kitchen. you opened the refrigerator and grabbed one of the drinks. afterwards, you closed the door and made your way into the backyard.

the backyard view looked very beautiful at night. however, there was no one there, or at least you thought so. walking towards the pool, appeared a guy sitting on one of the chairs.

“is someone sitting there?” you knew the answer is no, no one is sitting there, but you used that question as a way to start a conversation with the guy.

“no, you can sit there if you want.”

as you sat down, you started to examine the guy’s face. you were already familiar with his face, although you were unsure if that was his name.

“you must be…”

“pedri, no need to pretend.”

you raised your hands, giving him a sarcastic dirty look, “wow, okay. i was just making sure i was looking at the right person.”

“and you must be y/n. gavi tells me about you.”

“oh, he’s so sweet. you should be lucky to have someone like him.”

“and i am.”

for a brief moment, silence fell between you, with the peaceful sounds of the night wrapping about you like a comfortable blanket. the cold breeze rustled through the leaves, instilling a sense of serenity in your bones. pedri interrupted the pause, his voice soft but full of inquiry. "so, how long have you been friends with pablo and aurora?"

you chuckled quietly, remembering your closeness with the gavira siblings. "we have a long history together. our families have been close for years, and we almost grew up together. it's like they're my second family." pedri nodded in agreement, his face thoughtful. "that is nice. family is vital." you couldn't help but agree, a warm emotion flooding your chest as you remembered your relationship with the gaviras. "oh, definitely. they've always been there for me, through thick and thin."

as the night proceeded, you found yourself deep in discussion with pedri, the words flowing effortlessly as if you had known each other for years. his presence gave you a sense of calm and ease, allowing you to forget about everything else. you were lost in the moment, telling stories, laughing, and even pausing to contemplate quietly. it felt as if time had stopped and the world had shrunk to just the two of you in the black of night.

“so you’re telling me that you never wanted to approach me?” you asked pedri, being in disbelief.

pedri shrugged, “seeing you and the group of girls, i’d say out of everyone, you were the most intimidating.”

“gavi tells me all about you,” you repeated the words pedri said earlier. “don’t tell me he influenced you.”

“he didn’t…clearly you were just out of my league.”

“out of my league as in?”

“one that is getting the people in telling me that i pulled the impossible. one that i can show off to everyone. one that got me looking like the average person when standing next to you, a supermodel-like appearance.”

as the hours went, you developed a peculiar fascination to pedri. there was a magnetic draw between you, a connection that appeared to transcend words and actions. and when you looked into pedri's eyes, you noticed something flicker beneath the surface: a spark of something unsaid, something that mirrored the feelings running through your heart.

"may i?" pedri asked you. you drew in closer, absorbed in the moment's intensity, the distance between you narrowing with each passing second. and when your lips came together in a deep, delicate kiss, the world around you seemed to drift away, leaving only the warmth of pedri's touch and the hammering of your pulse.

lost in the heat of desire, you felt pedri's fingertips trace patterns across your flesh, sending chills down your spine. his touch was electric, setting off a fire of desire that grew stronger with each passing instant.

the need for air eventually separated you, leaving you both breathless and overwhelmed with want. but, even as you gathered your breath, the desire in pedri's eyes indicated that this was far from over. without saying anything, you both rose from your chairs, hands interlaced as you headed towards the house, the anticipation of what lay ahead hanging heavily in the air between you. however, as you approached the door upstairs, a voice shrieked from behind you, stopping you both in your tracks.

"since when were you two a thing?" fermín's voice burst forth, full of wonder. you turned to face him, hot cheeks and beating heart, wondering how to react to his unexpected interruption. but as you met pedri's eyes, you shared a wordless understanding, a mutual acceptance of the emotion that had developed between you.

"we'll talk later," pedri muttered softly, kissing your lips before turning to face fermín, whose expression was unreadable. and as you entered that room together, the anticipation of what was to come hung heavily in the air, a tempting reminder of your love for one another.

[uncharismatic-fauna]

heya, in regards to that ask requesting intersex/hermaphroditic animals for pride month to weed out ter.fs:

when you make those posts, please acknowledge that the animals in question are intersex (hermaphrodism is a different thing, species-wide instead of individuals like intersex (at least thats how i was taught)), and not trans.

intersex people have asked us trans folks so many times to stop calling intersex animals trans, because it just further contributes to the erasure and alienation of intersex people. we as a group have a history of using intersex people as a convenient "gotcha" or as proof that trans people are natural, without actually supporting or considering the intersex people were making use of, and ignoring that an animal is intersex to say that its trans instead, even if its just to be silly or just as a joke, does contribute to that. (im not saying you, personally, have done this, but that us trans people as a whole need to do better)

if its an animal that goes female to male or vice versa, ive not seen anyone have a problem with calling them trans, but if they are intersex (like the lionesses that start growing manes & roaring like males), i feel its important to respect and acknowledge them as such. i very much understand the desire to say an animal is trans or gay or queer, to show that we are not unnatural, but lets include our intersex siblings and allies in this as well, and call intersex animals what they are.

🩷🩵🤍🩵🩷 🫶 💛💜💛 trans-intersex solidarity forever

Hey! Thanks for sending this.

In the posts specifically about one species in particular, I do try to avoid calling them trans-- and please let me know if I've misworded anything. I am aware that gender is very much a human construct, and labeling hermaphrodite species as trans is inaccurate and can be seriously harmful for intersex people. Frankly, when I first started making posts about those species, I was hesitant to label them as hermaphrodite at all because I know how much weight that term carries in the intersex community. That goes double for species that are not traditionally intersex, like the lionesses with male characteristics.

That said, and as you've pointed out, I do include them in my queer pride collection because A: queer-intersex solidarity forever

And B: the existence of these species, along with those that display homosexual behavior, was denied for a very long time specifically because it legitimized both the queer and intersex communities. Even today there are plenty of people that don't want to acknowledge those parts of nature because it goes against what they believe is the "correct" way to be.

So yes, trans-intersex solidarity forever! 🩵🩷🤍💜💛💜 and again, I'm only human so if I get something wrong please let me know!