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corvus-ace · 8 months

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Okumura Haru, aka Noir: an analysis

so, my friend Keeper wanted me to help them get a sense of Haru's character because they missed her introduction and a fair amount of her confidant, and the result was this analysis. fast forward like a month and I realized "hey, this would be fun to post online actually" and here I am lol. fair warning, it's long and also in bullet point paragraphs cause I was trying to write quickly at the time and have since fleshed a few of them out a bit more (I have a lot of feelings about Haru lmao)

without further ado, here we go!

Haru's past

-first and foremost, Haru is the heir to a fuck off huge corporation. her father basically owns the equivalent of mcdonalds. though she doesn't always act like it, she is fundamentally a rich kid

-now in my original analysis, it had been a while since I'd actually gone through Haru's confidant, and I had mistakenly believed that Haru had at least to some extent been raised to take over the business. pretty sure I thought that cause I can't tell the difference between actual canon and stuff I've read in fics lol. but after playing through her confidant again and realizing she actually had zero business experience whatsoever actually makes her even more impressive in my eyes, because she more or less had to teach herself how to run an entire corporation, and by the end of her confidant she has a pretty solid handle on things already (doubly impressive because her confidant starts so late game, so depending on how fast you play through it... she's learning all this in like, two months max if you're getting through it before 3rd sem)

-in addition to that: rather than her father retiring and placing her in charge, she is literally thrust into it by her father's death. so she's learning all this business management, getting used to phantom thievery, and grieving her father all at the same time???? I could never

-presumably Haru inherited everything after her father's death, putting her in full control of his wealth? (I don't really know how businesses and shareholders work.) Haru's mother doesn't appear to have been in the picture, although to be fair that could mean she's either dead, has left, or is just never shown on-screen. I don't remember any distinct mentions of her

-her father's view of her: the conspiracy has obviously been in action for at least around two years (based on the timeline of the mental shutdowns and psychotic breaks inflicted by Akechi after he joined the conspiracy). Okumura Kunikazu's view of his daughter would presumably have become distorted during this time; obviously we don't necessarily know the timeline of any Palace formations except Futaba's and Sae's, since one was shown on-screen and the other discussed more than once. by the time we begin Okumura's Palace, he views Haru as nothing more than a tool for him to use in his financial and political ambitions ("subservient puppet" and her cognitive form's appearance as an obedient and extremely weak robot). he also is ignorant of her wants and needs, evident by him arranging to marry her off to Sugimura for his own political gain

-now, because Okumura becomes so distant from Haru as his Palace develops, whether intentionally or not, Haru is kept fairly far away from her father's unethical business practices. obviously she has her own suspicions as indicated in game, but seeing as her father doesn't really tell her anything, she presumably still had at least a decent opinion of him up until his Palace

Haru's character/personality

-Haru is very kind by nature. her childhood initially encouraged this (the cafe her grandfather used to run) but because of her father's distortion and changed parenting style she has mostly retreated into becoming a "seen but not heard" people pleaser. this results in a very reserved persona, but she isn't exactly shy - she is willing to reach out to help people, is generally friendly when approached (if you go up to her in the Shujin hallways before you even start the Palace, she's very polite, even if not explicitly cheerful), and as proved not long after we formally meet her:

-if a core belief of hers is challenged, she will stand up for it. one of our first interactions with her in game, she isn't afraid to tell us that after listening to our flimsy explanation of our motives as the Thieves, she cannot work with us. she calls us out immediately on not helping our own teammate, and tells us she cannot work with people who aren't certain of their motives/goals (I don't remember her exact wording but I remember it was definitely something along those lines). in short, she cannot trust us to truly want to help her father

-first proper meeting: other than the seconds immediately after her entrance alongside Morgana in her father's palace, she is very flustered and constantly getting things confused. based on my understanding of her as a person, I believe this is because although she already considers Morgana a friend, he's clearly established a role for her to play as well (replacing the Phantom Thieves with her, taking the spotlight for future changes of heart, etc) and she knows, deep down, that she is still being used, even if Morgana does have good intentions and wants to teach her to help people. deep down she knows this isn't the real her either. her full Persona awakening showcases this pretty clearly with all the fucking guns and rocket launchers hidden in Milady's skirt that are finally revealed (aka Haru's full, true strength simmering for a long time, hidden beneath the surface, because who in her life would have ever wanted her to be anything but obedient and weak?)

-she's also the one to push Morgana to be honest both with himself and the other Thieves, to admit he doesn't really want to leave and that he feels like this is the only place he belongs. she's struggled with being honest with herself in the past, accepting her true self and especially displaying it, and the Thieves helped her finally do that; given her kind nature I'm not surprised she wanted to be able to return the favor

-as we get to know her, we learn Haru is still very naturally kind and genuinely friendly. the thing is, she doesn't have a lot of friends. we don't see her interact with anyone (other than her father and fiance) beyond basic pleasantries until her formal introduction, including at Shujin. I'm fairly reasonably certain this is because almost everyone she's ever met has only seen her as "Okumura's daughter" rather than just Haru, her own person

Noir

-Haru is one of the strongest physical damage dealers, alongside Ryuji and Yusuke (both in terms of normal melee attacks and her powerful gun-type skills). she's also the only Thief other than Akechi who has gun-type skills on her Persona - and it's important to note that Akechi can only use gun-type skills in the third semester, with Loki and eventually Hereward, so Haru having gun-type skills significantly earlier in game than Akechi (especially with high crit chances) is quite useful. also her weapons are a grenade launcher and a large battle axe so that says a lot about her

-her Persona uses psy magic and ailment skills in addition to the gun-type skills. psy is particularly important since it triggers many kinds of technical hits, extra useful if you have a wide variety of ailments you can inflict via Joker's Personas. this also makes sense given the identity of her first tier Persona, Milady de Winter, the uncommonly beautiful and extraordinarily cunning female spy featured in The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. Milady is also described as ruthless, which I feel is a good representation of how Haru acts as a Phantom Thief. now in addition to the other skills, she does have the ability to cure certain ailments and also recover more quickly from ailments, and can use heat riser to give significant buffs to a party member and makarakarn/tetrakarn to protect a party member from a magic or physical attack respectively. obviously the specific skills she has available to her depends on how you choose to build her in game (I personally tend to lean towards emphasizing her gun-type and support skills over her ailment usage/curing, since I have no shortage of ailments in Joker's Persona stock and prefer to use Haru as a damage dealer, but that's not really relevant lmao)

-also, Haru is a sadist who loves killing/destroying Shadows. probably all that repressed anger and unresolved trauma. as rich as her father is, I seriously doubt he paid for a therapist for her. rich and emotionally distant fathers are just like that

The Empress

-I have some issues with her confidant that I think are about to become very evident

-Haru is the Empress Arcana (number III) and it shows. she is a girl in a position of power (head of a corporation) and as mentioned before, she is very kind by nature, and quite nurturing as shown by her love and skill for taking care of plants. the people in charge of assigning cards did a particularly good job with her

-her confidant is less based on personal relationships like Ryuji's or Makoto's; instead it focuses on professional development and relationships with subordinates and corporate associates and shareholders. she spends a lot of time throughout her confidant events figuring out who to trust and how to shift Okumura Foods into something she can truly be proud of, with a strong focus on undoing all the unethical practices her father put in place. though she of course wasn't expecting to be put in charge so soon, she does a very good job managing the sudden responsibilities. we also have no reason to believe her grades were slipping during this time, so she appears to be able to manage her schoolwork (from a prestigious high school, no less) right alongside her new responsibilities

Miscellaneous

-Haru has no qualms about spending large amounts of money on her friends - we literally went to the equivalent of fucking disneyland after her father's Palace and she thought it was no big deal, although to be fair to her, that was technically a special situation as the park had already been rented out by her father for a company event that ended up being cancelled due to his change of heart, so she really just took over the reservation. it's worth noting that this point is heavily represented in fanfics (based on what I've seen across ao3), as fanon Haru is, for example, often willing to give Yusuke in particular plenty of money for food, train fares, etc. I have seen at least two fics (though I don't remember the authors or the titles) where she happily spends lots of money on the other Thieves

-out of the Thieves, Haru is one of the most vocal about her hatred and mistrust of the police. this is very, very evident in Strikers, and remains consistent throughout that story (and, side note, it's fucking hilarious seeing how offput Zenkichi is about it every single time)

-she also later embraces her brief stint as the "Beauty Thief" and it's something of an inside joke amongst the Thieves (not sure that's the right term but idk how else to describe it). there aren't any hard feelings; the Thieves are already pretty chill about it the moment she joins the group anyways. the other Thieves affectionately call her the Beauty Thief in Strikers, particularly Futaba and Morgana, and Haru is happy to really lean into it sometimes (Zenkichi does not understand this either and I think she enjoys that)

Final notes - based on my impressions of her; not really analysis

-Haru is one of the most willing to fight god, and one of the most likely to win

-mixture of cottagecore lesbian and warrior princess

-her association with purple is partially rooted in her psy abilities, of course, but it's also a color associated with royalty and elegance, particularly fitting for the Empress Arcana

-Haru is not allowed to drive and should never be allowed behind a steering wheel (Keeper, if you're reading this, you'll understand this much later)

-kinda already mentioned this but she's very good at gardening (can grow hp and sp restoratives for the Metaverse)

-she took ballet for years and was good at it, which makes sense since she's quite flexible, as well as having natural grace

Conclusion

well, if you made it this far, I hope you liked this self-indulgent analysis! I relate to Haru a lot, so I like to think I have a good sense of her, and hopefully I've done a good job of representing her in this post. there are a few other Thieves I have enough thoughts on to write analyses similar to this one, so I'll probably be making those pretty soon. and again, although this is very personally motivated, I do still hope someone out there will like reading them!

(and Keeper - I know you already read the first version of this and still wanted to read this version too, so a big thanks for enabling my brainrot lmao)

#haru okumura #okumura haru #persona 5 #p5r #persona 5 royal #persona 5 strikers #i have not played p5 tactica so i can't analyze her there #character analysis #self indulgent

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saltygilmores · 10 months

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THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: SEASON 3, EPISODE 2: HAUNTED LEG (PART 2)

Both Emily and Lorelai are planning to attend Rory's "Swearing In" for her Vice Presidency at Chilton So, this is a very similar scenario to the one that happened 4 episodes back in "Lorelai's Graduation Day". Yes ma'am, it's another "Lorelai is unhappy about having to be at a place where her mother will also be but Rory wants them both there" situation. Yeehaw.

Shhh. Nobody tell her.

This is such a great line, and I don't fancy myself much of a Quote Lover, but I love this one so much I want to make it a magnet and stick it on my fridge next to my "Why did you drop out of Yale" magnet.

Nothing of great consequence or interest happens at the ceremony. Rory and Paris give mediocre speeches. Things between Lor and Emily are still chilly. Emily wants to meet Lorelai for lunch at Luke’s the next day. I see Francie up on stage and remember, tis the season for an incredibly boring storyline involving mean-girl nonsense and school politics 🥱 Francie is the Jason of S3.

I plan to forward past a lot of that sillyness and save myself some time.

Rory tells Paris after the first student body meeting that she wasted everyone’s time and nothing was accomplished and nobody ate the doughnuts that were provided. Paris is incredibly turned on and asks Rory if she wants to get married.

Just more Jess erasure... Alright, alright! This was Sookie's directive (supposedly) and it was said in jest. And here I was about to cancel Lorelai again for banning Jess from her stupid inn filled with mice. I've canceled her more times than an unwanted subscription to Dean Forrester Monthly magazine.

Not me going "what is this stupid obscure reference that nobody will understand", then googling it only to find out it's from The Godfather, the award winning book and movie series that half the population alive has seen but not me. I don't watch movies, okay?

Yes Ma'am!

I hate this stupid bullshit. Blew past the entire scene.

That's more like it.

Luke: Kirk came to me for advice about whether or not he had a shot with you. I told him you liked movies and junk food and talking incessantly but we both agreed that there's nothing like some good lovin to shut someone up." So then you agree, the only thing that would get Lorelai to shut up is to fuck her? Take your own advice already, Sir, and do it already. You're killing us here. Lorelai: Can you bring me a sharper fork? I'm not sure this one will go through your hand. Ah, I see that like me, Lorelai is also a connoisseur of making jokes about injuring people with forks. We're not that different, you and I.

What the hell else is there to do for fun in Stars Hollow?

More Crusty nonsense. Followed by student council nonsense.

Well if that isn't the Non Privacy And Feelings Respecter Pot calling the Non Privacy And Feelings Respecter Kettle black.

At least Santa Claus visits his Children once a year, which is more than Christopher does.

Not me and @frazzledsoul discussing just yesterday how often answering machines were used as a plot device on tv in the 90's and early 00's. AmyShermanPalladino in particular is obsessed with the humble answering machine. Because social media didn't exist yet and the male characters must have some way to harrass the women when they're apart. At least It's only Kirk this time so he probably meant well. Probably. He's kinda a perv. Lorelai: i hate my life. Maybe if we look into each other's eyes and say "I wish I were you" we could pull a Freaky Friday. (Imagining I'm me, Salty, and NOT Rory, Freaky Friday'ing with Lorelai): Let's see, let's see switching lives with Lorelai: The whole "fucking Luke" thing is good But then I'd also have to fuck Dean And I'd have to fuck Crusty.. Max? (eh?) Alex? (sure) Have Emily as my mother... Working at a dumb Inn... Idk if having sex with Luke is worth all that. Rory: "If we switched bodies, I'd have to date Kirk." If you switched bodies, Lorelai would have to date Dean. I don't hear her complaining about that.

The real star of Gilmore Girls.

Oh no. Not the LOR.

*smashes that bottle of wine over Crusty's head*

45? FORTY FIVE? He tripled the record held by the previous contender. Dean better step his harrasment game up if he wants to surpass that number. Crusty: "You don't get to dictate what to do! I called you (45 times) and you didn't respond so I did what I had to do. You can't shut me out, that's wrong! Your'e keeping Rory from me! Why hasn't she called me back?" EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE MEEEE??

Oh my, the whiplash of seeing Rory stand up for herself and get into Crusty's face, only to have her head to Doose's in a few moments where Jess will give her the peg-lowering of a lifetime and she'll limp away defeated with her tail between her legs. I'll put that in my next chapter. Things Googled While Watching Gilmore Girls: Clemenza, I Take A Nap Gif, Now Kiss Gif, Spelling Of Connoisseur Cutting Room Floor A joke about how Jess won't be invited to any more Bracebridge Dinners since he's vegetarian and he's banned from the inn.

#please post this to my dashboard Tumblr please #it's a mess if you don't #I've been your loyal suscriber since 2010 #do this for me #Gilmore GIrls #Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls #Gilmore Girls Season 3 #Haunted Leg #Rory Gilmore #Lorelai Gilmore #Luke Danes #Crusty nonsense #PariMore #Paris Geller

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that-one-pretty-bitch · 2 years

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If it's still open, can i request ashil agriche x reader being childhood sweethearts? as he grows older, he's probably looking a bit more like rezef (blame it on rezef visuals and the artist's gorgeous art style) i'd imagine the reader to be some sort of flirt who just seduce men and women for fun but her preference would be puppy-like boys who are down to earth like ashil

♡ A small hand held a larger one, Lant Agriche made a deal with the L/n household.

[Insert father name] had always adored Ashil Agriche, he was a gentle sweet boy, he would be perfect for his daughter.

Lant walked hand in hand with the small girl, ready to introduce her to her future husband

“Sierra’s son, would you come here for a moment?” Lant demanded

Ashil’s lips quivered and his palms became sweaty, his father always intimidated him. He gulped the lump inside his throat and walked towards his father and bowed.

“Is there something you need, father?” Ashil asked in a nervous tone.

“Yes, there is in fact something I need from you,” Lant started

“I want you to meet this girl here, she is from the L/n household and will be your future bride. Do not mess things up child,” Lant glared as he left Y/n with Ashil, parting with the young children.

♡ “Hey, are you sure you want to go through with this? Our family is known for being…” Ashil started, he was worried about the girl, she looked awfully innocent. He did not want her to get hurt in this cruel household.

“I do not have a choice, I would have to comply even if I didn’t want it, besides you seem quite sweet,” Y/n flashed Ashil a fake smile which he saw right through.

“Don’t worry Y/n, I am your future husband, so I will protect you no matter what it takes, please do not worry,” Ashil comforted you placing a hand on your shoulder and patting it gently

“Uhm, thank you…”

“Ashil, my name is Ashil Agriche,” He gave Y/n a small smile, his smile was so pure and kind.

You couldn’t help but be glad that your future consort would be someone kind and gentle not like the rest of his family.

♡ A girl, looking quite similar to Ashil, skipped up to where Y/n and Ashil were.

“Brotherrrrrr~ Who is this cutie?” The blonde spoke as she messed with Y/n’s hair

Roxana was a sucker for pretty girls. She admired Y/n’s features and gawked at the girl, making Y/n slightly uncomfortable.

Ashil then ruffled Roxana’s hair and smiled gently at her

“This is Y/n, my future bride, treat her with respect okay? We will protect her together!” Ashil cheered.

A gasp was heard from Roxana

“Brother, you will marry this beauty!? I will be her sister!!! YAY I will always protect my sister,” Roxana seemed so hyped, she was glad to have another nice sibling in this household.

♡ A boy with navy blue hair walked past them, bumping shoulders with Y/n, making her lose her balance, only to be caught by Ashil

“Are you alright Y/n?” He asked gently

“Y-yeah” The girl mumbled, wincing at the pain in her shoulder, the boy that walked past her had iron for shoulders!

“HEY YOU! HOW DARE YOU HURT MY SISTER!? I WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON YOU-” Roxana started, only to be cut off with Ashil covering her mouth and holding her back from killing his half brother. His sister could be an absolute Gremlin.

♡ When Sierra first met you, she adored you. It didn’t take long for you to realize that Ashil was exactly like your mother in law, they were both good natured sweet people. Sierra treated you like her own child. She now had three children instead of two! Don’t tell anyone but you are her favorite. Unlike the other wives, Sierra was a good mother who was always there for her children and since Ashil is alive she saved him from the cruel test. Sierra always protects you with her life.

( A/N: Since Ashil is alive, Roxana would not become that cold, in fact she would just become protective of her mother, Y/n and Ashil )

♡ 𝒮𝓁𝑜𝓌𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝑔𝓇𝒾𝒸𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒹, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝓇𝑒𝓃 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝓊𝓅. 𝑅𝑜𝓍𝒶𝓃𝒶 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒟𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝓈 𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒶𝒸𝓉 𝓈𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝓉𝑜𝓌𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒. 𝒴/𝓃 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒶 𝒹𝒶𝓏𝓏𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝓁𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃, 𝒴/𝓃, 𝒜𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒮𝒾𝑒𝓇𝓇𝒶 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑒𝓍𝓉𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝑅𝑜𝓍𝒶𝓃𝒶, 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓌𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓉𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒜𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓁 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓅𝓊𝓉 𝒽𝒾𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽. 𝐻𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝒶 𝓈𝑜𝒻𝓉 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇, 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒻𝒾𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒𝑒.

♡ “Oh~ Dion, you have grown quite well! You know, one might just say you look ravishing!” Y/n exclaimed, cupping Dion’s face. She stared into his maroon eyes, of course Y/n only meant to bring up the poor boy’s self esteem. What she did not want was for Dion to start to fancy her. Things never worked the way Y/n planned because Dion placed his face in the crook of Y/n’s neck.

“If I'm so wonderful, then why are you still with Ashil?” He inquired in a demanding manner.

“I don’t love you Dion, I was simply being nice. I’m in love with Ashil,” She pushed his head off her and walked away.

What a pain, her soon-to-be husband’s brother had started to fall for her.

Dion placed his hand where Y/n had cupped his cheek, the sweet scent of her perfume still lingered.

Would he have to fight Ashil to make her his?

Y/n reached Ashil and her shared bedroom only to be embraced by her sweet fiancé. He kissed her cheek and hugged her gently, Ashil had grown to become a strong Agriche, in fact, he was one of the upper ranked children. However, when it came to Y/n he could not bare to hurt her. Perhaps he was the softest Agriche for being in love... but something about Y/n was so endearing, he couldn't help himself. That night, when Y/n was asleep he felt eyes on him, crimson eyes.

Gently breaking from Y/n's arms he made his way to the man staring at the pair

Dion Agriche

"Is there something you need?" Ashil inquired in groggy voice, he had been woken up.

"I want Y/n," Dion spoke confidently

"My apologies, However Y/n is not an object to be given around," Ashil glared

"Well then, you leave me no choice," Dion hummed as he pulled out a sword from his scabbard

Y/n woke up the next morning to sounds of swords clacking with each other, rubbing her eyes she noticed that Ashil was not asleep next to her. That was odd, Ashil woke up later than she did.

Making her way outside she noticed two bruised boys fighting to their death.

Ashil and Dion

Oh no, Ashil was injured. You made your way and pulled Ashil away from Dion, inspecting his scars, his white button up was see through from sweat and his body had many bruises all over it. How could Dion do such a thing?

Dion was equally as hurt but you couldn't care less, Ashil was the only man that mattered to you, Dion was simply a toy to ease away your boredom.

#agriche #wtptflob #roxana agriche #ashil agriche #dion agriche #ashil agriche x reader #dion agriche x reader

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marinerainbow · 2 years

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So... I've finally listened to the whole soundtrack of 'Six: the Musical'. And I want to post more of my work here.

So, taking inspiration from @slashingdisneypasta drabble set, here are imagines of the six wives, but with Disney Villains and different Y/N's.

TW warning: If you know anything about the musical or the history, you probably already know the warnings in this. Death, jealousy, infidelity, sexual references, attempted murder, actual murder, and trauma. You have been warned.

Claude Frollo - No Way

(I'm not entirely sure if this is historically accurate, I tried to find more information but couldn't. But we're here to have fun, we aren't in history class, so I'm ignoring it.)

You must agree that, baby, in all the time I've been by your side

I've never lost control, no matter how many times I knew you lied

Have my golden rule gotta keep my cool, yeah, baby

Frollo wasn't a priest, no matter how much he liked to carry himself as one. As such, he, just like everyone else, had to get married. And you, Y/N, had the 'honor' of becoming his spouse years ago.

On the outside, you two seemed to be an unstoppable pair: the cruel judge, and his cold, unassuming wife. But that couldn't have been more wrong.

No one has the curse of knowing this awful man like you do. Not even Quasimodo, the poor boy who you wish you could grant his dreams, knows of all the atrocities this man thinks up in his narrow-veiwed mind. The gypsies that are hunted down by him know too much, but at least they can voice their own protests.

You, however, must suffer in silence. All for God's will to have the wife subservient to her husband. Frollo loved to throw that one in your face constantly. Even though you read and quote the same damn scriptures he does.

I've put up with your sh- like every single day

But now it's time to shh and listen to what I have to say

Your only friend and ally in all this is the archdeacon. He, like you, is all too aware of Frollo's sins. But, just like you, there is little to nothing he can do about it. All he can do, is tell you when your husband is back on his shit again.

And you, even though you desperately want to knock that old fool off of his pedestal, know you can't. He is the judge, and you are just married to him. He is the one with all the power here, and all you can do is stay humble and loyal, like any good wife should do.

That was, until you heard of a certain woman who caught his eye.

You must think that I'm crazy, you wanna replace me

baby there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

If you think for a moment I'd grant you annulment

Just hold up, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

Even though you two haven't shared a bed in years- yes literal years, you still know that look in your husband's eye when he wants something. And you knew that he didn't want to burn Esmerelda at the stake.

Or maybe he did, since of course he would blame her for his sinful desires. Of course it's not his fault that he not only wants to sleep with the Romanian woman, but wanted to sleep with someone who wasn't wearing his ring.

There were many times, you admit, that you should have tried to intervene. Quasimodo and his mother were one of them. But you were so used to just focusing on your own safety and appearance that you had never gotten involved in his affairs. But the night you overheard Frollo, practically screaming into his fireplace, "Let her be mine, and mine alone!" was when you finally had enough.

You got me down on my knees, please tell me what you think I've done wrong

Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along

If you can just explain a single thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go

All the years you held your tongue, all the years of built up rage had spilled out of your mouth that night like a broken dam. If Frollo was the burning fire, you were the raging storm.

Not only was he going to pursue- if you could call it that- another woman while you have been nothing but loyal to him, but he also carries himself to be even greater than your own cathedral. How he constantly blamed everyone else. Why? Why did he see himself as entitled to all this? What did he ever do that made him above God's will? What did you ever do to him that made him think he could just do what he pleased while you swallowed your own pride?

But fine. If he can give you one reason, just one, where he has the right to drag an innocent woman down with him, and even go so far as to blame God for his own desires, then you'll let him continue his buisness like normal, and you will wait for him at home like you always do.

No? You've got nothing to say?

I'm not going away

You made me a wife, so I'll be queen 'til the end of my life

Of course, you're not surprised when he just gives you the same speech about how everyone was at fault but himself. So, in his own language, he had no reason.

He promises he'll deal with you later, before heading out to go find Esmerelda. Being sure to lock you in the same room so you couldn't warn anybody. And of course, no matter how loud you screamed or pounding on the door, no one came to help you.

You got the front row seat to watching the dancers' trial. You got to watch in horror as Notre Dam threatened to be burnt to the ground, and feel proud of the deformed boy finally standing up to his 'master'. And, hours later, when your good friend the archdeacon finally finds you, you can barely contain the relieved smile on your lips when he informs you of your new status as the corrupt judges widow.

Gaston - Don't Lose Ur Head

(This one gets a double warning since it's a bit... uh... Well... This song made my inner bitch unleash. So this imagine is going to get extra spicy (I'm shocked but also kind of proud of myself, ngl))

He wanted me, obviously, messaging me like everyday

Couldn't be better, then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding

I was prêt-à-manger

When you moved into the little French town, it didn't take long for all the villagers to notice you. Especially the boys. You were the next most beautiful girl in town after some other gal named Belle, so obviously they wanted you. Though quite frankly, you found them all boring, or gross. Haven't these people heard of dentures??

You were starting to lose hope of finding a night of fun in this town... Until you saw him. The one and only hero of this quiet little town, Gaston. You saw him, and you knew that he was going to be this villages saving grace for you.

And you knew damn well he wanted you too. Gaston isn't exactly the kind of guy to hold back.

Ooh, sent a reply

Ooh, just saying hi

Ooh, you're a nice guy

I'll think about it, maybe, X.O baby~

His ego was annoying, yes. How he just expected you to fall in his arms made you roll your eyes, even if you did want him to shove you onto the nearest surface and hike up your skirt. But hey, why not use it as an opportunity to play a game of cat and mouse? After all, he is a hunter; surely, he could recognize a good chase.

Just like any hunter worth his salt, he followed the tracks you left for him, finding all the signs you were close by, but just out of his sight where he had to keep trudging through to find you... Just before you'd slip away. What? Did he really think the new girl was going to make this easy for him?

It's only when you let him come closer, let him stroll into your home like he owns the damn place muttering about how you've "Finally learnt your place~", do you let him touch you... All night... Many times... And a lot of broken furniture.

Needless to say, Gaston decided that you were too good to just be a one and done lay. He was going to come back for you, and you knew it.

I didn't know I would move in with his misses

What? Get a life!

You're living with his wife?

Like, what was I meant to do?

Unfortunately though, this definitely caught the whole towns attention, especially all the ladies. And, in a small town, gossip and rumors spread like wildfire.

Suddenly, you heard people talking about you behind your back. Did they seriously think you were deaf!? And now, you hear that some people are jealous- both of Gaston and you, while others were confused. Wasn't Gaston seeing Belle? Were you some sort of mistress?

Oh, hell no! You don't want to be part of some threesome. You don't want to be the other woman. And after talking to this Belle, you know she has no interest either, in both an open relationship and Gaston himself.

Well, now that Belle filled you in on what was really going on- she's such a sweet gal. Maybe you should invite her over after you buy new furniture- you had no qualms with finding Gaston, in the middle of town, and ripping him a whole new one in front of everyone. And all he could do was stare at you dumbfounded as you did the one thing people in this town should have done a long time ago. It was either Belle- and she wasn't an option since she wanted no part in this- or you. And you weren't going to settle for half.

Uh-Oh! Here we go, your comic went viral

I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral

Wow, Anne Y/N, way to make the country hate you

Mate, what was I meant to do?

And now, everyone thinks you're the bitch. You can see it in their eyes. But you don't care. All you do is huff and turn on your heel to head home. You don't even notice the plotting look in the hunters eyes.

A few days later, Gaston actually comes knocking on your door, dressed in his finest, and asking you to marry him? Is he serious? Glancing out your window, you see nearly the whole town gathered in your front lawn with a band, cake, and pure white decor, complete with some crying bridesmaids.

... Yup. He was serious. Looks like that talking to you gave him really made him finally realize he couldn't have Belle. But you didn't expect to just get married straight away! Though you have to admit, the idea does have some merit. Maybe this town will stop talking about you if they know you two are officially an item.

That and, as much as he is a jackass, he's still one of the best lays you've ever had. You'd never have a dull night again.

So, ignoring the feeling in your gut that this was a bad idea, you go put on your best dress, lock arms with Gaston, and mentally prepare yourself for the wedding day you didn't think you'd have.

Henry's Gaston's out every night on the town

Just sleeping around, like what the hell?

If that's how it's gonna be, maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three

Just to make him jell!

Oh, you knew there was something going on between Gaston and those blonde triplets!

In hindsight, you probably should have realized that marrying Gaston would have a load of problems for yourself... But that doesn't make you any less pissed. Especially since he's still harassing Belle! In front of you! And when confronted, all he claims is that, obviously, why wouldn't he want the two most lovely girls in town?

Obviously, that leaves Belle disgusted even more, and you infuriated. You didn't give up your freedom just for him to keep acting like he owned you and your new friend. You were far too angry to even consider that maybe flirting with some of the guys at the bar in front of your husband wasn't the greatest idea on your part... What!? What were you meant to do!?

And, of course, that just leads to you being tossed into your own home and getting into your first lovers quarrel.

Henry finds out and he goes mental

He screams and shouts, like so judgemental

You damned witch! Mate, just shut up!

I wouldn't be such a bi- if you could get it up

Oh yeah. You said that. And he was not happy. Not. At. All.

The man you call your husband screams and shouts, his temper tantrum able to make the whole house shake from his sheer size alone. You don't back down though, and when he realizes this, all he does is storm back out. No doubt to his tavern. You don't follow though, you choose to just stay at home and take your own frustrations out on one of your pillows.

By the next morning though, the whole village has heard Gaston's exaggerated side of the story. And of course, everyone blames you. After all, Gaston was the hero! How could you betray his trust like this?? No one even considers the fact- or just doesn't care- that he's just as, if not more, guilty as you.

Great. Your life is ruined. All because you wanted to get a head.

Maleficent - Heart of Stone

(I know there are probably other villains who would fit this one better, but Mal is one of my favorites and I love the idea of her getting mad at herself for falling in love so I'm treating myself)

You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too. You'd lift me high, or let me fall

But I took your hand, promised I'd withstand any blaze you blew my way

'Cause something inside, it solidified, and I knew I'd always stay

You were a... Strange mortal, definitely. You were kind and curious, yes, but you had always been drawn to the darker side of the world. It made you the outcast in your village, but you didn't care. It wasn't like you were casting hexes on others, you were just enjoying your interests.

And when you ran into the mistress of all evil herself while on a trek in the forest, you weren't afraid of her. Even when she tried to scare you off, all you did was keep your cool and smile, too intrigued to go away.

You didn't know it then, but it reminded her of herself, centuries ago, before she became the dark fairy she is today. That was enough to let her spare you and just walk the other way instead, her irritation coming back when you just followed her, continuing to ask questions and just being a general nuisance. It got to the point that she just chose to teleport back to her castle, leaving you behind.

You can build me up, you can tear me down

You can try but I'm unbreakable

You can do your best, but I'll stand the test

You'll find that I'm unshakeable

This continued for so long. You were determined to get through Maleficient and her hard shell, and would constantly look for her in the forest. No matter what, you kept strong-willed, even when she would try to test your patience with her trickery and wickedness.

Fortunately, somehow, you won her heart. Even Maleficient was confused and honestly quite furious that you managed to break through her. Her. She wasn't a sweet little fairy who wanted nothing more than to love and be loved, and she could very easily break you... But she didn't.

When the fire's burnt, when the wind has blown

When the water's dried, you'll still find stone

My heart of stone

It wasn't long before Maleficent 'brought' you from your village to live with her. It'd be more accurate to say she whisked you away, but you don't mind. You didn't want to stay in the village anyway.

It was definitely an odd time of adjustment for her. She was used to only having Diablo for company- unless you count her army of goblins and imps- and she was perfectly fine with that. But now, she has to find a way to actually take care of her little mortal.

No matter what though, Maleficient kept you 'hidden away' so to speak. You weren't imprisoned, obviously, but she just preferred to keep her life with you separate from the rest. At least for now, while she was still getting the hang of this 'love' thing.

You were fine with that, even if you did want to know more about her magic and schemes. You're just happy to have won over your dark beloved. It was like a dream come true for you; living in a magical place, with the most beautiful and dangerous woman by your side... Though you had to admit, there was one more wish you had.

You say we're perfect, a perfect family

You hold us close, for the world to see

And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved, I mean those words truthfully

Eventually, when you told her you wanted a child, she was skeptical. She's already pushing herself with a lover, but a family? Especially a mortal family who will just pass while she lives on? Absolutely not. Not in her castle. You may be her lover, but she's still the queen of this castle.

But, she does love you. You're the only person she actually wants to see happy. It took a long time, but you were able to get her to see the appeal of starting a family. After all, if you can sneak your way into this fairy's heart, anything is possible.

But you are absolutely not letting her kidnap a child and replacing it with a changeling. You want kids, but you didn't want to rip them away from their own family. She knows a thing or two about magic. Surely there's some way you two could have your own child? Maleficent at first scoffed at the notion; she's never heard of anything like that, and she's an expert in this sort of thing. But fine, she'll investigate, just so she can rub it in your face how right she is.

Her smug aura practically vanishes, and is replaced with your own, when she finds out that yes! There is indeed a spell that allows you two to have a baby together magically... "Alright, Y/N, wipe that smile off of your face, we have a youngling to create. Come on."

Soon I'll have to go

I'll never see him grow

But I hope my son will know he'll never be alone

She insisted though that you would be the child's vessel until it was ready to be born. Or, to translate, you'll be the one pregnant. What? Did you really expect her to take this job?

You are nervous about it, though, especially as the due date nears. You just can't shake this terrible feeling. Though Maleficient always quells your worries. She's a master of her craft, no spell has yet to have failed on her. Yes, this is new to her too, but what could go wrong? All you are doing is carrying a magical child inside you for nine or so months.

All the times she's brushed your worries aside, all the times she's dismissed your 'visions', Maleficent comes to regret all of it, when on the day of your child's birth, your heart beat comes to a stop.

'Cause like a river runs dry and leaves it's scars behind

I'll be by your side

'Cause my love is set in stone

She did all she could, using whatever enchantment she knew to bring your soul back to your body as your son wailed in a basket for one of his mothers. Even she was almost worked into tears when she finally realized she had lost you for good. And she had no one to blame but herself.

Maleficent though, doesn't mourn for long. She has a new life to care for, the last bit of you there is in this world. There's no time for her heart to crumble. And so, the dark fairy takes on the task of raising your child alone.

Jafar - Get Down

(For the sake of argument, let's just say Jafar won in the universe of this imagine)

Sittin' here all alone, on a throne

In a palace that I happen to own

When the sorcerer finally took his rightful place on the throne, his first act of business was to get rid of Jasmine and the former sultan permanently. To ensure no one could take away what he worked so hard to gain. And he kept Razoul, along with some new, more competent soldiers, to ensure that street rat wouldn't be able to take one step into the palace if he somehow survived the Arctic.

In every sense of the word, Jafar had won. And now, he could get started on shaping Agrabah as he deemed fit. But, first things first, he needed a wife. And he knew exactly who had in mind.

Bring me some pheasant keep it on the bone

Fill my goblet up to the brim

Sippin' on mead and I spill it on my dress with the gold lace trim

Not very prim and proper, can't make me stop

Y/N. The queen of a kingdom far away. Jafar had seen your portrait years ago during his travels, and had heard so much about you. You were considered the most beautiful in your land, and had riches and power beyond anyones wildest imagination. And of course, the ambitious sorcerer wanted you for himself.

He had tried to convince the Sultan to form an alliance with you, claiming it was for the benefit of the whole kingdom, but really, it was just for his own lustful gain. But that old fool decided his toys were more important, and the former vizier had been left fantazing about the queen, swearing to himself once he was the ruler, Y/N would be his first act of buisness.

Well, no better time then the present, yes?

I wanna go hunting, any takers?

I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres, paid for with my own riches

Where my hounds at? Release the bitches

Woof

And so, you received a letter, detailing an invitation to Agrabah from the new Sultan, making it clear he was looking for his own Sultana and wanted you. You yourself had heard of the kingdom, but never held enough interest to venture out there, especially when you heard of the childish king. But now, this Jafar is enough to pique your interest. How he somehow gained the throne without having to marry or be of royal blood was definitely impressive. Not to mention he wasn't exactly bad looking in the picture he sent.

After some discussion with your royal advisor, you decided to at least check it out. If you chose to marry him, great. If not, at least you get a good vacation. So you sent a reply to him, promising to be there within a weeks time.

Head back for a round of croquet, yeah

'Cause I'm a player

And tomorrow, I'll hit replay

Jafar had been quite pleased. It seems like everything was falling in place for him. Of course, he made sure to prepare for your arrival, making sure the servants set up your lavish chambers perfectly and even going out of his way to buy ingredients for dishes from your own kingdom. He was going to make sure you at least agreed to an alliance.

Neither of you once thought that this could have been too good to be true. And you could tell he thought this exactly when he first set eyes on you in the flesh.

You, you said that I tricked ya

'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture?

Too, too bad I don't agree, so I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see

And you can't stop me 'cause

"... Quite humorous. Now, where is the real Queen?" Was the very first words that came out of his mouth when he saw you. And your servants already knew where this was going.

Oh no he did not just say that to you!

Even though you kept your royal air and dignity about you, the cold look in your eyes told everyone that you were not taking this insult lightly. You were gifted with a silver tongue yourself; you always knew how to cut into someone deep, and you were not afraid of a man who could shoot sparks from his silly little staff.

I'm the queen of the castle!

Get down, you dirty rascal!

Of course, Jafar didn't like what you said about him, even if it was the truth. The servants of both royals were terrified as they watched them practically try to murder the other with their glares, hoping not to get caught in the crossfire.

However, he too knew how to keep his cool when it was necessary. He's had to have done it for years under his former employment. The last thing he needed right now was to start a war all because little Y/N lost her own cool. Yes, he could easily win it with his powers, but his main objective was to form a treaty with you, not lose what could benefit his own kingdom greatly.

So, he manages to stop himself from summoning his powers. Though he makes it clear that marriage was no longer on the table at this point. You traveled this far though, so he'll generously let you and your entourage stay to refresh yourselves, and he'll still discuss business with you, but there would be no pleasure.

which, at this rate, was perfectly fine with you.

Let me explain

I'm a Wienerschnitzel, not an English flower

No one tells me I need a rich man

Doin' my thing in my palace in Richmond!

It's not that you were insecure. You knew you were beautiful. You knew that you were the one in charge. It was how this man invited you into his home and had the gall to say that to you. This man who had to claw his way to the throne felt like he had the right to insult you? You weren't going to let that go.

Fortunately, for him, though, he was able to convince you to at least consider an allegiance. You didn't like his attitude at all, but the idea did seem to have potential. Besides, you didn't want to risk some deranged magician trying to take over your kingdom.

So, you agreed to be his ally, and then set off for home after fine tuning the agreement, making sure he wouldn't be able to take advantage of any loopholes.

You were still an unmarried woman by the end of the day, but hey, you like it that way anyway.

Evil Queen Grimhilda - All You Wanna Do

I think we can all agree, I'm the ten amongst these threes

And ever since I was a child, I made the boys go wild

I was young, it's true, but even then I knew

The only thing you wanna do is...

You always seemed to lure in the wrong kind of attention. You were 'gifted' with beauty, as your own mother put it, and as such, you had countless suitors over the years.

Though none of them treated you right. None of them cared for the woman behind the pretty face. They all seemed to think they had a right to your body, whether they'd try to force themselves on you or try to buy your affections.

And, unfortunately, you had to learn it the hard way.

Made me a lady in waiting

Hurled me and my family up in the world

Gave me duties in court, and he she swears it's true, that without me, he she doesn't know what he'd she'd do

It was shortly after the Kings mysterious passing did you meet the new Queen. She was looking for a new handmaid, and your family insisted you apply, despite the fact that it was clear that Grimhilda wasn't exactly pure of heart.

Miraculously, she doesn't get envious of your beauty and chooses to hire you instead of the countless other women who applied. She kept you close by her side, you helped her in every way she needed and then some. You didn't question her, unlike the majority of her court, and you did exactly as she asked you to.

It was mostly because you didn't want to put a target on your back, but still.

You were a hard worker, and it definitely didn't hurt that you were quite beautiful- not as beautiful as her, obviously, and that just made it even better to the queen.

You say I'm what you need

All you want, we both agree

This is the place for me

I'm finally where I'm meant to be

Even though you had been reluctant at first, you now knew you made the right choice. Yes, you had questioned your morality many times, but this was the best place you could be; on the good graces of the evil Queen, and on your own. You didn't have to worry about anyone trying to hurt you here.

Then he she starts saying all this stuff

He She cares so much, he she calls me love

He She says we have this connection

I guess it's not so different...

Though of course, tranquility can't last forever. You realized this when Grimhilda had called you to her throne room and gave you an offer you couldn't really refuse.

She truly was a snake. She knew how to lure you in with the promises of love and care. Something you imagine she must have done with the previous king.

Still though, even if you didn't want her, she wanted you. And when the evil Queen says it's you, than it's you.

You two were eloped shortly after. No wedding, though. Two women marrying would have caused an uproar. So in the publics eye, you were still her handmaid. No one knew of the way the Queen held you close at night, or how you would get down on your knees for her, "As any spouse of mine should."

With Henry Hilda, it isn't easy

His her temper's short, and his her mates are sleazy

Except for this one courtier

He's a really nice guy, just so sincere

It didn't take long though for this relationship to wear you out. Grimhilda was still as cold as ice, and the people she conducts business with aren't exactly the most upstanding of people. Just because you became her consort, didn't mean that she was going to suddenly become selfless and compassionate. You knew it, but... Still.

You did find one friend, though. The Queen's own huntsman, in fact. You had seen him before, you don't quite know how long he's been under Grimhilda's 'employment'. But one evening, while your wife was in her laboratory, you decided to make conversation with him. And that was the beginning of your first genuine friendship.

This guy finally

Is what I want, the friend I need

Just mates, no chemistry, I get him and he gets me

And there's nothing more to it

He just cares so much, he's devoted

You two practically became two peas in a pod. Whenever you two weren't carrying out her evil deeds or entertaining her, you both could be found together, chatting away about your previous and current lives in the halls or gardens. He even taught you how to use a dagger so you could defend yourself if need be.

Now, this is what you needed. All you ever wanted was just a nice friend you could lean on. You didn't need a marriage, you didn't need a lover, you just needed someone who truly cared.

But then... When the two of you are alone...

He says we have a connection...

No... No no no no! Why!? He knew you were married, it didn't matter if it was ultimately loveless! He knew your troubles with men before! Why would he even say this!?

I thought this time was different!

Why did I think he'd be different?

But it's never, ever different!

The huntsman seemed to realize his mistake when he saw the tears fill your eyes. He tries to comfort you, even when you tried pushing you away. Even after what he said, the two of you were still friends, and he reassures you he would go if you really wanted him to.

You should have ordered him to leave. You should have stormed away. You should have done anything else. But when you saw the true care in his eyes, and how he was willing to set his own desires aside for you, all you could do is break down and cry in his arms. Both because you still had your friend, and the fact that regardless of the choice you'd make, your relationship was going to change forever.

How tragic it was that the Queen just so happened to walk down that very hall, as you and the huntsman embraced each other. Now you got to witness first hand her wrath and jealousy as she ordered her guards to drag you two away.

Playtime's over...

Playtime's over!

You and the Huntsman were executed. Grimhilda was never one to show mercy. The Huntsman was simply beheaded, but you had your heart carved out of your chest and given to the Queen. The only way she could have your heart to herself.

Hades - I don't need Your Love

(I'll admit, i had a lot of trouble with this one. I'm still not sure of how this came out, but I didn't know how else to write this)

You know I love you, boy, in every single way

Though I love you, boy, I'll miss you every day

You were a brilliant woman of your time. You were a writer, a philosopher, bringing light to the great myths of the very gods. Of course, many were true, as shown with the mortal son of Zeus, but others were exaggerated or simply not true. You treasured the life you had built for yourself, and you couldn't even imagine exchanging it for anything more or less.

Anyone like you would have grabbed the gods' attention. You had caused an uproar in Olympus, so much so that even the Underworld heard about you, especially one God in particular.

It wasn't long before Hades had heard about you and decided to look into this new mortal. Usually, it didn't take much to make the other gods angry, so he wasn't expecting much.

And even though this feels so right

I'm holding back the tears tonight

Though he found himself both intrigued and entertained by you. Finally, someone who didn't just blindly worship the other gods! And you didn't even feel afraid of incurring the wrath of the gods. You were also pretty cute, that was a plus.

And then, that's when he gets an idea. It wasn't exactly a secret he was mocked on Olympus for many things, one of them was that he still didn't have a spouse. He mostly ignored them about that particular jab. How could he take offense from people whose relationships were already fifty shades of fucked? Still though, he can already see the smug looks on their faces being wiped away after seeing him stride in the room with the very mortal who made the others question them.

Honestly, he just wanted them to shut up about his personal life, and he thought this was the best way to accomplish that. Especially after the whole 'unleashing the titans' fiasco, this was another, more subtle, way to get back at them.

That I don't need your love, no, no

I don't need your love, no, no

You were certainly surprised to see the God of death at your door. At first, you thought maybe he was offended by what you had been writing, but he surprised you even more when he... Asked you out? He even worded it like a business deal, too, and flirting with you a bit, though you're not sure if he was being genuine or just trying to charm you into accepting his deal.

Honestly, you wanted to decline. You weren't stupid, you could tell this was just Hades wanting to annoy the other gods. Everyone knew well enough by now that you didn't want to get on a deities bad side, and you were already pushing your luck. You knew this, he had to know this too, and you were certain if you accepted just this one date, your whole life wouldn't be the same.

You wanted to reject him. You really did... Until he sweetened the deal. He would ensure your safety and even help you with your writing - apparently, he genuinely liked your literature - if you did this for him.

How could you deny that? Safety to continue doing what you love, in exchange for being part of some scheme to tick the rest of the gods off?

So I sent that letter to my love

Got married to the king

Became the one who survived

So, writing away your old life, you agree to Hades' deal.

And, as you predicted, one date became a second date. And then a third... And a fourth... It got to the point that you would expect to see Hades at least once a week.

Obviously, this attracted all kinds of attention. Both from your neighbors and the other gods. You're pretty certain that all those thunderstorms conveniently over your house weren't exactly coincidence. And your fellow mortals would try asking you about you and your, supposed, lover. What was he like? Did he bribe or kidnap you? Were you carrying his child yet? That question you supposed you couldn't blame them considering Zeus' reputation. And, the one you heard most of all, when would you two get married?

You were no longer you. You were now known as the death gods lover. As any artist would know, no matter what kind of art they pursued, fading away was possibly one of the worst fates you could have.

There's was more to you than just being a deity's consort. There was more to you than your newfound status. Why was it that people recognized it before, but now they seemed to have forgotten it?

I've told you about my life; the final wife

But why should that story be the one I have to sing about?

That's not my story!

There's so much more!

Still though, you didn't throw yourself a pity party and let it stop you from creating and bringing the same light you always had before. You were now more determined than ever to reclaim the voice you had lost. And now that you had all the resources and security you needed thanks to Hades, your works were now better than ever.

It actually impressed him, even though he knew he had inadvertently caused this for you. Hades didn't think you were trying to outshine him at all, he was just reminded why he became attracted to you initially.

You were once more surprised that he became your biggest supporter outside of your initial agreement. He would brag about you to all the other gods, but not for his own gain, because he was proud of you. And if someone saw you and just referred to you as 'his consort' while he was around, Hades would immediately step in with, "Oh yeah, she's an absolute ball of fire, but have you read her scriptures? Trust me, Athena wishes she could be as good as her."

And you had started to actually genuinely like Hades. He had a pretty good sense of humor, was actually easy to get along with outside of his temper, and you could see the appeal in the guy. You had even spoken up against the other gods whenever you'd hear them talking about your date. That didn't win you any points with Olympus, but it's not like you cared what they thought of you anyway.

You didn't see it coming, but your relationship had started to turn more into just a show. You two had started to genuinely care about each other. It may not have been true love just yet, but you two were definitely good friends. You supported each other, even if you didn't entirely agree with everything he did, and that was all you two needed.

During your last visit in the underworld, when you were passing the hall while being escorted by Pain and Panic, you could have sworn you heard the three fates looking into yours and Hades' lives together... What was that they said about him proposing in a few years?

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fabuloustrash05 · 1 year

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Small opinion I had while showering: It could have been better if maybe they established Tiger Claw starting to see Shredder as a father figure or the closest person he can to a parental figure. Since Shredder took him in and gave him a place to stay and seems to have some kind of favoritism towards Tiger Claw. So him bringing Shredder back to life would make a bit more sense I guess?? Or even better, bring in Kitsune from the IDW comics. Something I decided to rewrite regarding the Kavaxas arc is that we finally get introduced to Kitsune. In IDW she works for the Shredder so her story is somewhat similar to the one in my version. She is a loyal helper and long time friend of Oroku Saki who also has various abilities and powers she obtained over the years. So she finds out about what happened to him and decides to avenge him and bring him back to life. I'm still working on her character but uhhhhh- seeing the crap she has done to Leo and the others in the comics, she is VERY unhinged in my 2012 version of her, is the lightest way I can put it- and to establish more of how unhinged she is and a terrible person in general and would definetely top some characters in the Pure Evil characters wiki she causes some of the worst psychological, mental, physical and emotional damage to the gang. Idk, just something I wanted to share with someone because I'm pretty passionate about my version of Kitsune in 2012- Wait that sounds like I love her for the damage she causes to the characters and all of the horrible things in general she has done... Yeah I love me some very deranged characters! ^^

I already have my own version of 2012!

I've talked about her a little bit on here, but basically she is Shinigami's mother and old friends with Splinter, Shredder and Tang Shen. As kids and teenagers they are a team, always hanging out together, but Kitsune left the group and did her own thing after getting sick and tired of Yoshi and Saki's rivalry. (note: she left before Shen married Yoshi)

Years later she has a fling which results in her being pregnant. The father of her child abandoned her so she raised her daughter, Shinigami, on her own (with the help of her mother aka Shini’s grandmother). Kitsune is a master of the dark arts and witchcraft, and she taught everything she knows to her little girl. Eventually, when Shini was around 7 years old, Kitsune reunited with Shredder and he offered for her and her daughter to join the Foot Clan. However, Kitsune is smart and a tricky woman. She knows Shredder only sees her and her daughter as pawns in his game, but she's willing to play along. That's what makes the game fun, right? The game gets even more fun when she meets Karai. Kitsune knows the truth that Karai is not Shredder's daughter as he claims. Ever since she first met Karai as a young girl, she knew just from a glance that she is Yoshi's child. Should she tell her? No. It would be more fun for Karai to figure it out on her own.

My favorite thing about my version of Kitsune though is her dynamic with Splinter. I'd say it's playful platonic flirtation. Kitsune constantly teasingly flirts with Splinter, which makes him uncomfortable. She does it out of her entertainment. She's not interested in him romantically, but the reaction Yoshi makes when he thinks she is is HILARIOUS to Kitsune.

#I have so much more about her but thats a summary #I wish I could talk more about my OCs #also I did a whole rewrite post on Shini being a villain and how she’s the one who helps TC summon Kavaxas #cause you know SHES A WITCH #my-name-is-bunnyfoxy #asks #answered #fabtrash oc #FabTrash art #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt kitsune #master splinter #tmnt shredder #TMNT oc #my oc #OC: Kitsune

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mickimomo · 2 years

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Lunch Time - Namor x Shuri

Author Notes:

I finally got a chance to write this one. The lunch time series goes in order from Attuma, Namor, and then Namora. At least in terms of timeline. 🤣 I just wrote whatever I wished when the inspiration came. Hehe.

Also, this is kinda a side series built around the AU of my Sun and The Sky series on AO3. But it's not necessarily canon in my ongoing plot. I just wanted to write something fun.

I'll throw this all up as one book over there either later today or tomorrow for my peeps who aren't on Tumblr. Thanks for the love and support. 💓

After seeing Attuma eat a homemade meal from Okoye, Namor felt inspired to get Shuri to do something similar.

His relationship with Shuri was complicated.

They weren't exactly in a relationship, but they weren't exactly single either.

She had proudly declared that they were intimate at Oni's welcome home party, and they still slept together whenever Shuri needed an outlet. She also slept peacefully in his arms when she could not escape her own demons. She seeked out his advice when things were overwhelming. And she depended on him when she needed strength.

And he gave her everything without hesitation.

He had torn out her heart.

His was hers to use as she saw fit.

So they were married, but not married.

At least in his head.

Getting Shuri to make him lunch wouldn't be an easy achievement.

She was always eager to take things from him publicly but preferred to give back her affection behind closed doors.

He was a happy man with his shy panther, but getting a meal made with love would make him happier.

Once he was finished with his patrol, he retreated to her lab and sat across from her quietly.

Shuri's brows lifted as she felt his gaze burn into her as she worked on something. "If you stare at me any harder, I might spontaneously combust."

"That was not my intention, in yakunaj." He blinked before lowering his gaze to the notes she had been writing.

"What's wrong?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"The lunch Okoye made for Attuma." He adjusted himself on the stool he was settled on. "It was a gift of love. I thought it was a kind gesture."

Shuri looked at him. "Is that your way of asking me to make you lunch?"

"Perhaps."

"You are a king with servants who are eager to prepare anything your heart desires."

"Ans my heart desires something made by your hands."

"The last time I gave you something made by my hands, I nearly killed you."

"A flying furnace is not food." He frowned. "We are not enemies anymore. We are married in spirit."

Shuri blinked. "Married?"

"You have given me yourself many times since."

"I don't classify that as marriage. It was more like a late night booty call with cuddles."

"In yakunaj."

"We do not have titles."

"Titles are the least of my concerns, but you will not reduce what we have to something meaningless."

"Because it makes you pathetic?"

"Because that's not who you are." He gently touched her hand as his eyes pierced her.

"Whatever." She looked down before sighing. "I'm not making you lunch."

"I don't care if you can't cook."

"I can cook."

"Can you really?"

"Yes." Shuri huffed. "My mother made me learn."

He stiffened and bowed his head. "Oh."

"Just have a servant make something, K'uk'ulkan."

"But they cannot prepare something only your hands can."

"They can." Shuri scoffed. "If you want soup, tell them, and they'll make it."

"Shuri."

"No." She shook her head. "And I will not change my mind."

"And if I starve?"

"Then you will starve."

His eyes darkened as he stared at her before offering a small nod and got up. "Then I will starve."

Shuri watched him leave her lab before exhaling.

"Griot."

"Yes, my Queen?"

"What is the likelihood that K'uk'ulkan will not eat to spite me?"

"Mm. I'd say 100%."

"This is what I get for messing around with a man as stubborn as me." She slammed her hands onto the table.

For two whole days, the god king refused to eat.

By the third day, Shuri was in the kitchen whipping something together.

She initially planned on cooking him something terrible.

Maybe she'd drown the food with salt or cayenne pepper, so that he'd suffer during every bite.

But Namor matched her perfectly.

He would only mock her by eating it all while showering her with praises.

If she was going to be praised, it would be over something deserving of it.

After this, she could make him eat defrosted peanut butter jelly sandwiches with fruit snacks and a juice box to make things easier.

She chopped up some squash and greens before cooking them down to go with a few braised chicken thighs.

She cooked some rice to go with it before packing it all up in a container and carrying it off with a packet of disposable utensils tucked away in her lab coat pocket.

The young queen located the god king by the river shore with Attuma and Namora.

They were sitting on a woven blanket enjoying their lunch and the sun.

Well, everyone except for K'uk'ulkan.

He just sat there, seething and petty as hell.

Attuma and Namora watched her storm down the inclined hill towards them before she shoved the container into Namor's lap.

"This ends today." She grumbled as she pulled the packet of utensils out of her pocket and shoved it in his hand. "Eat."

"No."

"No?!?"

"I will only eat if you feed me."

"Feed you!?"

"You made me wait almost three days for this."

"You should be grateful I did not make you wait longer!"

"I can wait longer." He closed his eyes with disinterest.

And she knew he was serious.

Shuri opened the container with a growl and scooped up a spoonful.

"Open your mouth before I open it for you."

He ate the food with a soft moan as he chewed. "This is so good."

"You're getting a defrosted pb & j next time." Shuri grumbled as she fed him some more food before gently patting his mouth with a napkin.

"That's fine, in yakunaj."

"And you better not do this again." She grumbled as she held up another spoonful. "I was worried, you know."

"I will make it up to you."

"Uh huh."

He scooped her up in one arm and grabbed the food with his other before he got up, ignoring her cries of protest as he carried her off.

"Aj K'uk'ulkan!" She panicked as she smacked at his back. "Put me down!"

"You will be worshiped for making me such a meal."

"Just eat the food, damn it!"

"I will eat it after I eat you."

Shuri was speechless.

Namora stopped eating, and Attuma chuckled she set down her utensils in defeat.

"Why do I even eat with you idiots." Namora huffed as the couple slowly left their line of vision.

"Because we keep things interesting."

"I don't need to know the ins and outs of what goes on in your bed."

"Maybe if you had something going on in your bed, with a certain someone, you wouldn't be so disturbed."

"Shut it." Namora punched him in the arm before she began to pack up her lunch.

Attuma snorted at the punch. "We should be grateful to have such a smart king. I should have asked Okoye to feed me."

Namora got up. "I'm not seeing much of the smartness right now. Both of you disgust me."

"At least you did not choke this time."

"Fortunately." Namora huffed.

"You'll come around eventually."

"No thanks."

But her heart would soon change.

Bloopers:

Shuri the next day:

Namora wanting to eat her lunch in peace:

Attuma and K'uk'ulkan being nasty at lunch:

#mickimomo #attuma #namora #namshuri fanfic #namshuri #namor x shuri #namor of talokan #shuri #its a lil angsty but y'all will be alright #trio of talokan shenanigans

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shadowfromthestarlight · 8 months

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So I have this friend, whom I met through work and we've known each other for a few years, and I've attended the christening of two of his kids and served as godmother for one. We talk and still see each other in person from time to time. But almost every time we talk, he asks me if I'm dating, asks if I like any guys in my workplace, suggests that I use dating apps, tells me I should get married, tells me that he would love to see me have kids and that he wants me to give him little godchildren, and I have to say over and over again that I'm not seeing anybody right now and it's not a priority. Even when we end up having a nice conversation overall, I always end up feeling annoyed by the discussion of romance and relationships. He could be bringing this up all the time to tease me, but the fact that it's so persistent makes me believe it's genuine. Reflecting on it, I realized a couple of things that were really bothering me about it, and they basically come down to:

I think it's a bit presumptuous to just assume that someone who's just your friend - not your best friend since first grade who's practically family at this point, not your sibling or other close relative, but just a friend plain and simple - would make you the godparent of their child(ren). Again, it could be a joke, but if it's not, it makes me uncomfortable because it's like oh geez do we have to have the "i don't know if i feel for you what you feel for me"/the "you're my friend but not my best friend" kind of conversation? Like, yes, sure, I do consider this person a friend. When we hang out, it's fun. But I don't love this friend so much that he would potentially take priority over my actual blood relation as a godparent to my child.

I find this level of scrutiny of my life and intrusiveness into my personal decision-making inappropriate for someone who is, again, just a friend. Not my parent, not my therapist, not my priest, not someone I've asked to mentor me and fix my life - a friend. A peer. A social equal. Quite frankly, I've never had another friend or acquaintance or anyone else in my life talk to me this way. I'm not sure I'd think it was a great idea for anyone to tell me that bluntly how to live my life, but it definitely rubs me the wrong way coming from a friend. Even my own grandmother doesn't harp on the need to see me get married before she dies every time we talk. My mother doesn't badger me to give her grandchildren. My sister doesn't constantly ask me when I'm going to make her my maid of honor and give her nieces and nephews. My godmother doesn't ask me to give her great-godchildren lol... I could go on but I think I've made the point? This whole line of conversation just strikes me as very abnormal when it's initiated by a friend.

I've said this before, but I ultimately find it insulting when I'm over here living a decent life and people start lecturing about how everyone who's single needs to get married because that's obviously the answer for everybody! and clearly none of us who are single are capable of figuring out how to live our lives! and we need all this unsolicited advice or else we'll be miserable loners forever! That's annoying and offensive and honestly makes me want to say "no" just for the hell of it because I'm annoyed.

Now that I find myself able to articulate why this type of conversation is really wearing me out, at least I'll be able to put a stop to it if and when it comes up again.

#tbh this is just a follow up to an essay i posted last weekend #alone not lonely

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blackhakumen · 2 years

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Mini Fanfic #1073: Morning Coffee Date (Super Smash Bros Ultimate X Mother 3)

9:34 a.m. at LeBlanc Café...........

Ludwig: (Chuckles Lightly) You punched the prince from across the room with ease?

Kumatora: (Snorts into a Laugh) Yep!~ With no force or strings attached. It was never really my intent to hurt the guy in the first place, but he kept yammering on and on about how I don't look, dress, act like a.....(Moves Both of her Two Fingers Up and Down) "Proper Lady" and tried to kiss me numerous of times. And this all happened AFTER his parents tried to get us arranged for that dumb marriage, can you believe that crap!?

Ludwig: That happened more often than you think I'm afraid. But I'm glad you didn't went through the ordeal in the end.

Kumatora: (Smirks Playfully at her Date in Front of Her) Why? You jealous of him or something?~

Ludwig: (Playfully Scoffs) Oh please. It'll be a sad day if I ever get jealous of privileged brat like him. I just find the idea getting married in an young age ridiculous is all.

Kumatora: Right? Like, I'm all for mushy romance and junk, but not to the point of me getting hitched against ny own free will by some rando I've never met in my life! (Place her Cheek on Top of her Knuckle While Pouting) Really starting to tick me off here.....

Ludwig: It's best not to think too about the situation entirely. It'll do your mental psyche all the better.

Kumatora: ('Sigh') Yeah, you do have a point there. (Takes a Sip of her Coffee Before Smiling Again) Instead, let's talk about that crappy nickname of yours~

Ludwig: (Grimamce at the Thought) Do we really have to talk about it now? I'd rather not relive that embarrassing part of my past......

Kumatora: (Clasps her Hands Together as She Gives Ludwig the Puppy Dog) Pleeeease?~ I promise I won't make fun of you for it.

Ludwig: ('Sighs in Defeat') Alright. If you're really going to fulfill your promise.....When we were younger and before Junior was born, my siblings and I would give each other nicknames, most if not all of them are more juvenile in their own right. Larry was given the name "Cheatsy", Morton has "Big Mouth", Wendy has "Kootie Pie", Lemmy and Iggy was called "Hip & Hop" respectively, Roy has "Bully surprise-surprise, and I was unfortunate enough to be called.....('Sigh').......Kooky.....

Kumatora: (Starts Snickering, Trying her Hardest Not to Laugh) K-Kooky?~

Ludwig: ('Sigh') Yes, Kooky, starting with the letter K. My childhood growing up, was anything but proper. (Pick his Phone Up From his Side of the Table as Starts Searching for Something On It) I was sleep deprived, talked into this made up evil scientist accent, and my hair was a complete mess. (Shows Kuma a Picture Of his Younger Self on hus Phone) See?

Kuma: (Eyes Widened at the Picture Before Slowly Breaks into Laughter) Oh my godhahaha!~ You look like an eveil little munchkin!~

????????: I know, right?~

Ludwig looks up to see Futuba and Yusuke standing behind Kumatora's seat while looking at the picture themselves.

Yusuke: Despite its messiness, the hairstyle seems to fitted quite well to be frank.

Futuba: (Smiles Brightly at Ludwig) You didn't tell us you were such a cutie back then, Luddy!~

Kumatora: LUDDY!? (Laughs Louder as She Buries her Head onto the Table and Starts Banging on it)

Ludwig: (Puts on a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Ah yes. How could I ever forget my current nickname? (Turns his Attention to Futuba and Yusuke) What brings you two here? Besides poking fun at abnormal childhood.

Futuba: Oh nothing of the sorts. I called Inari over here so we can have ourselves a morning date.

Ludwig: Morning date? (Eyes Widened at the Realization) Wait. The two of you are an actually couple now?

Futuba: (Happily Nodded) Yep!~ About time, huh?

Yusuke: (Smiles Softly) We're still adjusting to the whole ordeal ourselves, but I believe it won't be that much of a problem so long as we're together. (Gets Happily Hugged by his Girlfriend Beside Him)

Ludwig: I see.

Kumatora: (Finally Calming Herself Down by Panting) Really?.....Wow......(Wipes a Single Tear From her Eyes) ('Whew') That's great to hear.....

Ludwig: Yes it is. (Starts Smirking a Bit Evilly) Excellent even.......

Futuba: (Slowly Raises an Eyebrow at the Eldest Koopaling) Luddyyyyyyy.......What's with that Smirk on your face?

Ludwig: Ohhh nothing of the sorts. Just thinking of a favor I need from you is all.

Futuba: Which is?

Ludwig: Would you be a dear and give Yusuke a kiss on the lips so I can take pictures?

Futuba: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock While Blushing) WHAAAAT!? HAVE YOU HEARD WHAT YUSUKE JUST SAID!? WE'RE STILL ADJUSTING HERE!!! W-WE NEVER EVEN KISSED BEFORE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!

Yusuke: Wait, didn't I kissed you under the Mistletoe that one time?

Futuba: (Turns to Yusuke) It was on the cheek, Inari, and we weren't even dating that time!

Yusuke: But your face has gotten red at the time like you are now-

Futuba: (Face Starts Getting Redder) HOW IS THAT EVEN REMOTELY RELATED TO THE CONVERSATION AT HAND!?

Kumatora: Well, if we're talking howkisses goes, shouldn't that one technically counts as a first one?

Futuba: Not if it's not on the lips!?

Sojiro: (Standing Behind the Counter While Sighing) My baby girl has her first kiss already? Really am getting old........

Futuba: (Points at Her Coffee Dad) YOU STAY OUT IF THIS, SOJIRO! (Grabs Both Sides of her Head and Looks Up at the Ceiling in Frustration) ('Arggggh') This is getting us nowhere......(Angrily Points at Ludwig) YOU! Explain why you want us to kiss, right now!!

Ludwig: A bet between Roy and I was at hand at the time-

Futuba: YOU BETTED ON US!!?

Ludwig: .........Yes. Yes, we did. But in my defense, I was rooting for you two to get together. Roy l, on the other hand, thought you would chickened out at the last second.

Futuba: HE WHAT!? I'LL KILL HIM!

Sojiro: Futuba, would you please stop yelling already? I have café to run, remember?

Futuba: (Starts Noticing a Few Customers Staring at Her Before Laughing Awkwardly) Eheheh......S-Sorry about that....everyone.

Customers begins to chat among themselves once again.

Ludwig: ('Sigh') Okay, look, I apologize for betting om you two for something trivial. But if you do this for me, then I'll do whatever you want in return.

Futuba: (Raises an Eyebrow) Anything?

Ludwig: Anything you desire, yes. As long as it isn't illegal.

Futuba: Welllllllll......It's been a while since we've hung out before.

Ludwig: I was busy.

Futuba: ('Scoffs') Yeah right!

Ludwig: I was!

Futuba: With what? Hmmm?

Ludwig: With.....stuff.

Futuba: Was it research related?

Ludwig: No!.....Yes.

Futuba: Thought so. But since we brought it up....(Buts on a Cheeky Smile) I think it's high time we have ourselves a anime bench watching session tonight, double date edition!

Kumatora: (Smiles Brightly) Sweet! I'm down.

Ludwig: I suppose that wouldn't be too much of a-

Futuba: Also, I wanna play around with your hair.

Ludwig: (Eyes Widened) Wait, what!? Why!?

Futuba: Why not? Your hair is freaking majestic, dude! There's sooo many styles I can do with it alone!

Yusuke: I'm inclined to agree. It would be interesting to see what a new, imaginable hairstyle would look like on you.

Kumatora: Yeah, Luddy, give it chance. You'll might end up liking it probably.

Ludwig: (Eyes on Kuma) I see that you're putting good use in my nickname there.

Kumatora: What can i say? It represents you quite well, handsome~ (Winks at Ludwig)

Ludwig: (Immediately Starts to Blush) I-I'm....(Clears his Throat Before Shyly Looking Away) Glad you....like it so....

Futuba: D'awwww!~ Are you blushing right now?

Kumatora: So cute~

Ludwig: (Looks Back at Futuba With a Glare) No! I....(Sighs Heavily as He Pinches his Nose) Forget it. You can do my hair. Just....don't make it look any hideous and you.got yourself a deal.

Futuba: (Smiles Brightly) Sweet! (Turns to Yusuke and Places her Hands on Both of his Cheeks) Pucker up, Inari!

Yusuke: If you in-MPMMH!?

Before Yusuke could finish his sentence, he immediately gets pulled into his first, indirect kiss with his girlfriend, Futuba Sakura.

Ludwig: (Uses his Phone to Take a Picture) Stay like that for a few more seconds annnnnnd.....('Click') Got it. (Looks at the Picture Front of Him) Looks perfect already.

Ludwig shows the picture to Kumatora, who returns, happily gives him a thumbs up before sending it to his brother.

Futuba: (Immediately Pulls Herself Away From Yusuke Before Exhaling her Breath) Ooookay! That's enough for now.....

Yusuke: (Almost at a Lossof Words) That....was our kiss.....

Futuba: Yep. Our very first one apparently.....Whatcha think?

Yusuke: (Eyes Begins to Sparkle) Magnificent.

Meanwhile at the Smash Mansion's Living Room.......

Roy: (Laying on the Sofa While Talking to Someone on the Phone) Look, man, I'm just saying: I love my bro to pieces. But how in the hell could a shut in nerd like him managed to bagged in a tough ass princess like her is beyond me at this- (Suddenly Hears a Bing on his Phone) Wait, hang on a second bro. I got a text to read.

Roy puts his call on hold as checks out the message that was sent to him.....Which happens to be a picture of Futuba and Yusuke kissing and the second on being Ludwig giving him a wise cracking smirk while Kuma hugging him and holding up a peace sign.

Roy: (Couldn't Believe What's in Front of Him Right Now) ......And now I owe him fifty bucks. (Facepalms Himself) Greaaaaaat........

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@princekirijo

@theweebmaster31

#super smash ultimate #persona 5 #ludwig von koopa #kumatora #futaba sakura #yusuke kitawaga #roy koopa #sojiro sakura #cute romance #humor #fluff #coffee date #morning coffee #ludwig x kuma #futaba x yusuke #edited

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studentofetherium · 2 years

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This is a really weird idea that came into my head, but i can perfectly picture Sodachi getting pregnant from a hook up with araragi in a moment of weakness only for them to act like a bickering divorced couple despite never even getting married. They clearly like each other but not in a romantic way but they get always together to raise this child and it could help them get even closer despite following separate roads in life.

I just want an excuse to make them argue and be around each other without making them lovers and or besties. Am i weird ?

hm okay. i thought about this answer for a bit before responding

so i'm going to be taking the base situation of, Sodachi and Koyomi have a one-night stand and Sodachi ends up pregnant. what happens next?

well, realistically, i think she gets an abortion as soon as possible. after the childhood she had, i can't imagine she would be enthusiastic to bring a child into the world, especially in a scenario where she might have to raise the child on her own or else risk raising the child in a tumultuous household. after that, she would probably tell Koyomi what happened and things would be awkward between them for a long time

but that's not fun, is it? that's effectively no-selling the idea. so i'll play along and construct how i think the scenario would play out if she did, for some reason, decide to keep the child

first of all, the prelude to it is that it happens during one of the periods where Koyomi and Hitagi are apart. with Hitagi in america and Koyomi along, a mistake can happen. since Koyomi is more or less still with Hitagi, he and Sodachi keep their distance for the most part and Sodachi raises the child alone for the first while. at some point, Hitagi comes back from america as happened in Musubi. she and Koyomi get back together and presumably start to plan their marriage as happened in the novel. very soon after she returns, Hitagi learns about what happened and is mad at both of them but also thinks Koyomi should own up to his mistake. Sodachi and Koyomi's relationship remains stable and polite but no closer than it needs to be. after a point Koyomi starts to be more involved which would inevitably force Hitagi to be involved since by this point, several years would have passed and presumably they would have gotten married by this point

if i were writing this fanfic for real i'd also probably focus on stuff like Sodachi's self-loathing over her mistake and her specifically trying to not take that out on her child and also be a good mother in general to avoid the mistakes that her parents made. also because i'm me and i'm very limited in what i wrote lol i'd probably also have her be queer and grapple with that in light of her making a very heterosexual allosexual mistake

anyway no, anon, you're not weird

#monogatari #sodachi oikura #long post #i'm futzing the Musubi timeline a bit here #it doesn't really work with the story as it exists there #but the general framework lends to this story #also this sort of took a different direction than the ask suggested but i find the idea actually pretty interesting #thanks anon

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ginza-division · 2 years

Text

Masa's Thoughts on Shizuoka Division

Kanon Hojo

"Hmm... curious. Never did I think I'd find a dark spirit that closely resembles Okada from Shinagawa. I do know not whether Chuohku is to blame for her current predicament, or if this is who she truly is and it just took her "accident" to get her to show her true self. But this woman here... I can tell that despite her atrocities, she truthfully regrets the atrocities that she has committed."

"But she doesn't need to fret. The fact that she regrets her foolish actions shows that there may still be hope for her troubled and pitiful soul. She simply needs to repent for her sins, and the light of God will shine down on her. Better she does it sooner rather than later, less the door that leads to Heaven is forever shut for her. I shall have to see if she can be brought before me. After all, her mind must be easy to control seeing as how one accident changed her..."

Reika Aichi

"The daughter of a harlot. ...Truthfully, I do not begrudge her mother's upbringing. The poor woman, whose body was corrupted and her soul filled with the awfulness of sin, was forced to dirty herself to provide for herself and her child. If anything, I blame the men who laid with her. They chose to waste their wealth on a woman who has been with another. Saddening, truly saddening. ...But as stated, I do not hold the daughter in contempt of her mother's actions. No, not at all."

"...Rather, my contempt for this woman is the fact that she lies, cheats, and steals from those simply to line her own pockets. Marriage is a sacred thing in the eyes of the Lord. Yet what does she do? She chooses to marry, not once, not twice, not even three times. But five! And all for the purpose of making herself rich! That is a sin, and one I cannot look fondly upon. She is a plague. A taint onto this world, and one that must be wiped away and dealt with. One that will be dealt with. She should tread lightly where she walks. Many here in Ginza and Japan will not spare her should she dare step outside of her city. Tread lightly, Reika Aichi, for your precious riches will not clean the blood off of your hands. Nor will it spare you the Lord's judgment."

Sakura Kito

"Ah, the head of the Kito-gumi. Normally, I'd have no quarrel with her seeing as how the Yakuza and I have a... relationship with one another. Her father and I had a very good relationship with each other. That sadly came to an end when she killed him, however. I bore her no ill will, of course. In fact, I wanted to continue the relationship between our two groups, but she refused, not wanting to do work with anyone who was a friend of her father. So, we agreed that our gangs wouldn't get in each other's way. She'd leave Ginza alone, and I agreed not to intrude upon her business in Shizuoka. And for a while, that held up. But..."

"...That "deal" sadly came to an end when I received word that some Kito-gumi were here in Ginza. And they weren't here for a confession, I'm afraid. No... they chose to bother some of the good people here. My people, in order to expand their influence. So, seeing as how Sakura wasn't going to uphold her end of the deal, I felt no need to do the same. I sent some of my men and Juu to deal with the interlopers. The fools were easily captured, and Juu asked if she could have them. And what kind of Father would I be if I didn't let my dear sweet daughter have some fun now and then?"

"She spent the better part of the day "playing" with Sakura's men. And when she was done, I had their bodies dumped on the outskirts of Shizuoka for someone to find. I suspect that won't make Sakura very happy, but I'm sure she will be fine. God forgives all who forgive themselves, after all." Masa laughs at this.

Silent Tragedy

"I question whether this team or Shinagawa is more deserving of our attention. Both have figures trapped in the darkness. But currently, I feel that dealing with Shizuoka would be more rewarding. Shinagawa is not going anywhere, but Shizuoka... their sins have gone unpunished for too long. And it is up to the people of Ginza and Last Judgment to send the Lord's vengeance down upon their foolish heads. Prepare yourselves, Shizuoka. For I promise you this, that tragedy that befalls you... it will be anything but silent." Masa laughs again as he departs into the shadows.

#hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis mic oc #hypmic oc #masa judice #last judgment #ginza division #shizuoka division #silent tragedy #kanon hojo #reika aichi #sakura kito

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cranberrybogmummy · 2 years

Text

The bride with no self-esteem replies to some RSVPs.

Answer to Cousin Zeddie: Yes, you can bring your emotional support animal as a plus one. It’s an alligator? Oh that’s alright I suppose, yes the bow-tie is very cute. I’m sure the church will be alright with it, I mean you need the alligator, right. No. I don’t think I can get live chickens, but cooked chicken carcasses will be fine you say? Ok.

Answer to Stepmom Krystal ‘Bubbles’ Oh no, of course this day isn’t all about me. I do know my father and you have given money for the wedding. So I’m not gonna be offended if you wear your wedding dress as well. I mean if that’s what you feel comfortable in, go for it. I don’t want to be ungrateful, yes you can bring your side of the family, I didn’t invite them and haven’t met them but they are very important to you. I mean, you really helped foster my independence by pushing me to be on my own at fifteen; no, I’ll make sure my mother doesn’t bring up how you met my dad. I know you are very busy and I don’t mind at all if you have to take business calls during the ceremony.

Answer to Mother in Law: No, it’s alright, you can wear your tiara and pink gold flamingo dress. Yes, I’m aware I’m marrying your only son and I know I’m not really worthy. I’m sorry the vegan and gluten free options offended you. I wasn’t aware that it was ‘woke’ to have my best friends at the bridal party. I'd like to have food they could eat. I love your son and I know it’s his wedding as well, and have made the alterations to my dress like you wanted and I will endeavor to be a good daughter-in-law. I understand you hate it when I look at you directly or speak to you, I know my voice is annoying, I’ll try better.

Answer to Best man Frank: Thank you so much for enclosing your hilarious best man speech. It’s so funny, you telling everyone that story about my fiance’s sexual past, and how much ‘hotter’ his ex was and the farting. I mean I’m surprised my fiancé decided to marry me as well. I am rather flat and homely, but there you go, I’m not going to be a 'Bridezilla' and get offended. Also it’s wonderful you plan on proposing to your girlfriend during the speech and announcing that you guys are pregnant! I’m not an ‘uptight bitch’ and think it’s lovely.

Answer to Maid of Honor Lana: I’m so glad you were appointed as my maid of honor. I was silly to think my best friend should be the maid of honor when you, my husband’s sister, were right there. I mean we haven’t always seen eye to eye but that’s fine. I will speak to my friend Sophie about not making a scene or getting upset about what happened at the bachelorette party, her black eye is easily covered with makeup.

Answer to Uncle Angus & Uncle Bert: Yes, I do need to include these ‘horrible people’ in my wedding. I’m sure it will be fine, though. Carson and I are planning to move across the country after the wedding and this will be our last chance to see them at all. I know you are worried about my mental health, but I’ll be alright knowing you two are coming. I heard Angus is going to wear their kilt and dye their beard lavender, which will really get my MIL and Bert, I can't wait to see you as ‘CHAMP-PAYNE’ again. I mean not only are you a drag queen, but a wrestler! That’s so cool! I’m sure my dad will behave himself, and if he doesn't, you are right there.

Answer to Mom: Thanks for the advice, your brother and his husband are a hoot, I love my uncles, so does Carson. They will make the wedding so much more fun! Also as per your advice no open bar at the reception and yes you can have Mr. Ruffles as your plus one, I’m already allowing an alligator so why not a comfort Emu?

#fiction #Writing #Shitpost #humor #my writing #wedding #Emus #Alligators #wedding disaster?

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xoteajays · 1 year

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So the relationship between Tettsu and Nikka was implied to really be an on again and off again type of relationship so they were apparently broken up at the time. But they could have elaborated that a lot more.

That's how I feel about Dan. Nothing against the actor, not any thing against Aya Asahina's husband at all (which is still weird to know that they're married). But I can't tolerant Dan as a character in any way.

Kizzy hanging out with Naomi, Lala, possibly the Strawberry Girls but only if she wants to catch their ignorance. And the original characters too. Not sure what the connects are between the female characters. I might have to figure that out. Anyway. More interactions between the female characters though since you never seen them together before for reasons that I still don't know why. So more female characters.

Daruma and Oya are definitely the most reckless gangs in SWORD.. I don't think they care what happens to themselves because they're so stupid. Some Sannoh boys are like that too. But I could really imagine Rude Boys, Sannoh and possibly Rascals teaching them out to fight a more careful way to fight. At least for protecting the right body parts.

I thought that too. Conversing about their business. And Rocky kinda complimented Hyuga to some extent, because he mentioned how he respected Daruma's passion for fighting. It's a twisted compliment.

I don't know if my name is considered popular anymore. And my own name is also unisex too. And, apparently, my name is the boy version; that was not my mother's intention since she preferred the spelling to my name rather than the other spellings. But still. I just prefer aliases.

Exactly. Unusual names, bizarre names, eccentric names are fun for a character to have rather than some plain names everyone else has for their characters. But that's just my biased opinion about that though.

Yes. When it comes to the overly expensive, extravagant, fashion that they have.. Certain clothing would be too expensive to replace unless that clothing is covered in blood. Since blood might be difficult to get out of white clothing. Which reminds me about a thought I had about the White Rascals and blood, I really will get to that in a moment too.

So maybe White Rascals can make an exception, just with Blue, when they need sewing done to their torn clothes and missing buttons too.

Even though I love the fashion for White Rascals, I would also have to that sometimes annoys me to know outfits like in Rocky's End Of Sky is completely white. So you can barely see the sewing details of many clothes they wear for that reason. Like Rocky, add a splash on color in the material - besides the gloves anyway. I wanna slap him for that.

But at least whenever I write the End Of Sky era to the story, I'd have the knowledgeable of what Rocky's outfit looks like for all descriptive reasons I can think of. So that is a plus side to having those pictures.

Yes. Blue and Rude trade buttons, patches, patterns and even certain material for what they want. And not only does she help Lala alter her clothes, but also the children too, because they're clothes are twice in size on the children. Extra materials could be used for other things.

I still wanna slap around the Sannoh boys for not committing to style, Cobra is the only one with real style amongst the Sannoh boys. Or it's possibly Noboru and even Yamato have style. But no one else though.

In an alternate timeline.. What would have happened in Rascals found Sarah before Warriors did? Seriously. A woman who was in an abusive family, she became a fighter to protect herself from men but just only goes after any men who don't deserve the violence she does to them.

Kizzy won't discriminate. She will fight anyone and everyone, doesn't matter if that person is man or woman. She'll fight anyone she has to.

The only time I've heard a SWORD leader wanting to fight a girl, I may have to say that was Murayama. The time Oshiage wanted to tell him, y'know, that she had a crush on him.. He thought she wanted to fight.

I still don't know which of my characters are fighters, if they are really fighters. But I've had a thought. Blue's the middle child of five siblings though.. Two brothers, two sisters. I imagine her being more of a type of pacifist (like Mitsuya). But, because she comes from a big family in obvious ways, she might know how to defend herself in the situations that are more rowdy or violent. She doesn't fight, but will if she would need to. That was really a thought I've had for her character anyway.

Wait! I thought that interaction was between Koo and Chiharu? Since I remember a scene between those two. Nevermind. The scene that's between Koo and Chiharu was from the first movie, not the second.

I sent a manga scene to you. Hyuga really does enjoys biting people, I think the man needs a muzzle to prevent him from biting anyone else now. Or maybe those muzzles that psychopaths wear in the asylums.

So like in the first movie... He used those musical sticks - I don't know what those musical sticks were called, but he used those as weapons until he decided to use his hands. And, for some reason, I could really imagine a dagger inside the handle to the umbrella he had with him.

I have many diagnosed conditions. Asperger's Syndrome, Attention Deficient Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety and also Depression to list a few of my mental disorders. I won't list every type of condition I have. But those might be the more obvious conditions.

So I will actually give the main character might diagnosed conditions, at least some of those conditions. Since the disorders barely have the proper representation in media.. Especially because of stereotypes.

That was the thought I had. Like in Borderlands. She was in a building that collapsed, got severely injured, even cut off her own leg because of infections. That's what I thought after sending that last message.

When it comes to horror genres, he would definitely enjoy the whole final girl type to horror movies. He would enjoy the psychological and supernatural horror genres because female characters aren't the only characters getting abused. So you will have to talk him into watching gorier horror movies and shows. But, not just for horror, I could really see him enjoy shows and movies with strong female characters who's well written. Like Orphan Black for example. That's only one example.

And I don't know why this thought is really funny to me.. But imagine. Girlfriend talks Rocky into watching Alice In Borderland. Obviously, I'll see him hating Niragi and Bando (men who abuse or murder women). I could see him liking Chishiya just because he supports transwomen. But the funniest reaction he could have is seeing the two main actors looking like his friends, Noboru and Tsukumo. I couldn't resist not to.

Obviously. Cobra, Rocky, Smoky, and even Takeshi would be mature about the whole situation for the most part. Rocky.. That depends on which child, the son or daughter, because he'll go after anyone who is mean to his princess. Because he's so protective like that to his girls.

Why can I imagine Murayama doing that? Maybe because Murayama just wanted an excuse to finally fight someone again, so he is actually the chance for that reason. Because he really wants to fight. But even also to protect his child at the same time to. So it's the win situation.

Even if the fathers just showed up to confront those children who has bullied their child or children, or even confronted the parents about it, their appearance is just intimidating enough for most people anyway.

Okay. So.. The blood. I've had a thought. Obviously the White Rascals, their signature color is white. Their clothing is predominantly so white with the occasional color like black and grey mixed in, sometimes red too (for Rocky). But imagine a Rascals is in relationship with a woman though. And she is menstruating. Between their between being white material. I can even imagine that Rocky's furniture and decor is white, black, silver and maybe gold. So think of an embarrassing situation in which the girlfriend accidently bled on herself, or their clothes if she's sitting on Rocky's lap, or the bedding and furniture. Definitely a whole embarrassing situation for women. I know most of the White Rascals men are really mature enough not to make a scene over some blood. But that is always a really embarrassing situation for woman though, regardless of the connection between Rascals and the women. I may be overthinking this situation. But still. I don't know what will happen.

I was listening to Nemophila.

True. Maybe. Whenever you're watching Asian shows and movies, but especially Japanese, that wouldn't be surprising seeing someone was just eating ramen. But it was really convenient that commercial came out at the same time as those movies though. I'm overthinking this.

Obviously everyone gets along with Kaito. He's quiet! Silent. This man doesn't waste his time arguing with anyone, especially not with Kizzy.

Oh! You never told me what you thought of this post..

*SWORD leaders in a meeting*

Rocky: It’s pointless to fight between each other, we should be working together.

Hyuga: What are you gonna do if we don’t, tell your mom?

Rocky, instantly: What mom.

Or the post about how Jesse is like everyone's original character in a story, like an insert type of character. I thought that was a funny post.

I have no filter, So I never know if I said anything considered offensive to them, since everyone would act and react differently about things.

And, being autistic, I'm horrible with social cues so people have to tell me if I said or did anything that makes them uncomfortable.

And since we're over a screen, that's also difficult to figure out how all these interactions would turn out too. So there's also that too.

boo, boring. they really should’ve stuck with tettsu and nikka, i thought it was nice. as for dan, i really started to not like him in the last movie, but then i thought back to the other movies and the seasons and realised i didn’t actually like him that much in those either. him yelling at cobra was my last straw though.

kizzy would rip the strawberry girls to shreds for the crap they said about the sword leaders. i think if anyone’s gonna help naomi and yamato get together, it’s going to be kizzy playing matchmaker. she’s got the most experience after all, being apparently the only one in the sword district in a long term relationship. let kizzy take lala shopping! she’s gonna steal rocky’s credit card; what’s he gonna do? complain about helping a woman?

rude boys are going ‘stop throwing your bodies around like that, protect your heads, you’re going to hurt yourself and probably break something’; meanwhile sannoh and rascals are like ‘learn how to throw an actual punch, you’re damaging your hands way too much - stOP BITING’. daruma and oya are not listening.

i can see rocky probing to make sure the women at daruma’s place are being treated respectfully. because he’ll kick hyuga’s ass if they’re not.

my name is still, unfortunately, very popular and there is a decent handful of famous people with my name, spelt the same way, so i get comparisons about it. like ‘oh, like the singer?’. i kinda wish my parents had gone with their first choice and called me ‘paige’.

i can only see myself using a ‘classic’ name if i can swing an interesting personality out of it.

i could see the rascals trying to offer to pay blue for fixing up their stuff, even if blue says it’s a ‘favour’ and she’s fine to do it for free.

details always get lost on fully white outfits. which is a shame because that jacket is so pretty. like i get the whole vibe, wearing all white, it’s their thing, but bestie …… you’re like. glowing. that’s too much white.

the kids definitely need clothes that fit. i’m just imagining her in nameless, surrounded by all these kids as she resizes clothes for them or measures them so she can make stuff in the right size.

cobra, yamato, and noboru are the only ones with style in sannoh ……. but also i’m biased because i like them more than dtc 💀

kizzy will brawl with anyone. let my girl throw hands. let her fly in and fight sarah to protect her rascal boys!

even with murayama, i think he would’ve taken it easy on oshiage. like just a fun fight. not like how he fight todoroki. fighting is flirting to murayama, clearly.

so blue will throw hands if she has to, but she’s not jumping into a fight like the oya guys? i can also kinda see her at oya high just breaking up the smaller fights, just older sister-ing around oya.

the koo and chiharu scene was in the first movie. koo and pi is in the second. both are so good! i love koo, so much actually. he’s kicking ass and he’s also. exhausted. let him have his day off.

slap one of them hannibal lecter masks on hyuga. no more biting, you lil bastard. also that manga page, he really said to cobra’s face ‘i’ll bite your neck off’. sir please.

i don’t know that she could have cut off her own leg, since she was 10 when she lost her leg. but i could see her getting badly hurt at the complexes since they weren’t exactly well-kept and there were probably some spots where the floors could have been damaged enough to fall through.

rocky has the classic reaction that everyone else had while watching aib; he sees niragi get set on fire and goes ‘finally!’ ….. and then niragi proceeds to show up in season two. and don’t forget last boss/kaito! even though they look nothing alike.

rocky hears the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ and he’s killing you with his mind because he’s in a mature parent space where he can’t physically fight. he’s shooting eye daggers at you. you’re gonna take psychic damage. he’s getting into an argument about it.

murayama wins because of course he does. then waves at his kid in the crowd of children that has shown up to watch, just like ‘hey sweetie, you wanna get ice cream before we go home?’.

any of the leaders show up and the smart dads are to their kids like ‘apologise to that kid right now’. the idiot dads are getting their asses handed to them.

the rascals absolutely have period stuff and changes of clothes - for both themselves and the girls. they’re all respectful and comforting.

kaito isn’t arguing with anyone. he’s just doing whatever kizzy wants him to do. he’s chilling. he’s making heart-eyes at kizzy and relaxing and making no attempts at stopping kizzy from encouraging fun while koo’s annoyed in the bg.

everyone else gets very uncomfortable and just ‘rocky are you …. good?’. koo is standing with the rest of the rascals like ‘ffs’.

naoto went ‘all of my friends get to be in the movies, what about me? :(‘ and then they wrote jesse in and made him all ‘incredible fighter’ and ‘prison gang’ and ‘everyone thinks he’s cool’.

i love the manga page of cobra and dan drawing cats. cobra’s shitty cat pic and noboru still being like ‘i like cobra’s best ☺️’. they’re besties!!! also cobra’s signature with the star ⭐️

#tj answers #long post //#long post anon

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billthedrake · 2 years

Text

MY SON'S PORN LIFE

It was just porn, I rationalized, and I'm a man with a more than healthy libido. Married with three kids, I have a decent sex life with my wife, especially considering that we've been married for 25 years now.

But I like to jerk off, too, and since I turned 50, my bi side had been rearing itself more. A while back I went through a phase of lining up no-strings BJs from guys on the side. I'd put that behind me, but I still got off on the fantasy of fucking a guy or having him suck me. 8 times out of 10, when I was looking for stroke fodder, I'd pull up a gay porn video.

Then came the fateful day. I didn't even know what I was looking at first. I was just browsing one of those free video sites and saw a thumbnail of two hot bodies with a tag like "Hot Jocks Fuck After Practice." Unlike with women, I don't even know that I have a type when it comes to guys, but these dudes looked hot... muscular and young 20s, smooth bodied. They're probably everyone's type.

I clicked, and my heart sank.

It started out PG-rated, with two jockish guys sitting on a couch, one with his arm draped over the other's shoulder as the cameraman asked them questions and the guys talking about being excited for the scene that was about to happen.

One of the young men, the blond hunk with his arm draped over the beefier dark-haired guy, was my son Travis.

Holy fuck. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't believe it at first. My oldest kid - and only son - was doing gay porn. I listened to another half minute of the pre-sex interview and watched as Travis turned to the dark-haired dude, with a playful lust in his blue eyes and said, "Yeah, Sam has an amazing ass." He turned back to the camera with a grin and added, "Like, big fucking meaty cakes..."

"Ha," the cameraman laughed. "You ready to do this then?"

"Hell yeah," the dark haired guy replied.

I closed the browser, hyperventilating.

My Trav. Good kid, great student, played football at the expensive college we sent him to. I didn't know how long he'd been doing porn, or if this was a one-off. I wondered if he had any troubles, financial difficulties, drugs, gambling, whatever, that led him to do this. I wondered if I should tell his mother.

But I paused, staring at now blank screen. Maybe Travis was doing this for money, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. Sure there was playing along, but you can only fake so much.

And I knew Kate would freak out. She wasn't judgmental, but this was something else. Besides, she was the worrying sort of mother. That's why I loved her, that's why she was such a wonderful parent. But this would break her heart. I'd be keeping this to myself.

***

It was mid-afternoon in the office when Kate called. "Brad, you still able to make Caitlin's game today?" Our middle daughter Courtney was in college now, and Caitlin was now a senior in high school, which meant these soccer games would soon be a thing of the past.

I didn't mind, really. I had a sales job that could be crazy busy and required a lot of travel but days like that day I had some flexibility. And I loved my girls and enjoyed being the supportive dad. There were a few soccer parents who regularly showed up and we all kind of bonded. And the girls' team was really good that year. It was fun.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Great," my wife said. "I should be able to catch the last half, and maybe we can get dinner out. I have book club tonight," she reminded me.

We wrapped our conversation and I checked the clock. 2:30. I put in another hour of work, then cut out early.

I knew I'd be on my own for taking care of my orgasm that evening, so I went home first. I had enough time for a nice, leisurely stroke and looked forward to enjoying it.

As I got to my bedroom and kicked off my shoes, though, a thought hit me. A curiosity, sure, but also a horniness.

I wanted to watch my son Travis fuck a guy.

I was shaking a little as I searched again for that video. But I wasn't as hesitant as I should have been. It took me a few seconds to find it. That familiar thumbnail. My heart beat. I pressed play.

I listened to the introductory banter. The flirtiness between the two guys, putting on their dumb-jock act. Then the cameraman prodding, "You ready to do this then?"

I was rock hard. My son kissed dark haired guy. Trav looked like a smooth operator, snaking his tongue between the other guy's lips and making out, softly at first, then with more lust.

Their hands now removed their tank tops. Dark haired guy was real muscular, like a total gym body. Still had his baby fat, which made his bulk hotter somehow. I watched Trav feel him up, and I had to unzip.

Travis was the real star, though. Ripped, waxed smooth, tanned muscle contrasting with his adorable boy next door looks. My eyes were riveted to him, drawn as much as the dark haired guy's hands, which were now pawing at Travis's bare chest and abs, and then moving down...

I let out a groan when that hand cupped Travis's crotch. This was the moment of truth. Was I going to watch more?

I couldn't stop it, or take my eyes away. Trav got a playful look on his face and undid his shorts, making his abs crunch as he lifted his hips to slide them off.

There it was. My son's cock. His erection, long and thick, very much like my own. I never thought of myself as having a porn star cock, but I knew I was hung, and now I had a son who literally had a porn star dick.

I felt the excitement over take me as I stroked my own prick and jets of semen shot out. Uncontrollably. A crazy orgasm that had my head flushed and pounding from the taboo excitement.

I shut the video and the computer. And I quickly cleaned my mess.

Fuck.

***

Yeah, I felt like a heel. But I'd gotten off big time, and I knew I would again.

By now I had a good lead. Trav went by the name of "Brent" and was a Sean Cody model. Turns out this wasn't his only, or even his first video.

I found the others. Each one was better than the last. Travis was the jock-next-door type who played it up for the camera. His MO seemed to be to start off slow and romantic with a guy and work up to really pounding the bottom's ass with long, hard strokes. More than one came hands free from it. I just about did, even watching.

I watched them all, savoring them one by one until I was able to make it to the end of each. Then I watched them repeatedly, too much. I thought the guilt would kick in and I'd come to my senses, but I never did. I thought the novelty of the forbidden fruit would wear off, but I came buckets watching Travis fuck guys. Every single time.

I dug around more. From the comments on blogs, it seemed that "Brent" was a fan favorite. There was some bitching from guys that Sean Cody didn't have stars like Travis any more, that they'd gone downhill over the last year.

That hit me for some reason. I mean, I was glad that porn was just a temporary thing for my son. Logically, I would have been happier if it hadn't been a thing at all for him. But fuck, I wanted to see more. I loved watching my son. It was like spying on him, letting me be a voyeur into his sex life. And, hands down, Travis was just a stud.

I initially felt a burst of shame when I saw my wife or daughters after I stroked off. But they didn't know. I was still a good father, though if Travis knew I wouldn't blame him for having another opinion of me.

When Travis came home for Christmas, it hit me. The awkwardness, the weight of the secret. He thought I was just stressed from work or something, I guess. We ended up having a good visit with him. But he seemed like he had something on his mind.

The last day, he gathered us around the table. He was nervous as hell, but he came right out with. "I've got something to tell you guys... I'm gay."

Caitlin and Courtney immediately got out of their chairs and went to hug their big brother. I never was prouder of them.

I wondered if Kate had any inclination, but I could tell then that she was surprised. She was supporting as always though. Not touchy feely like our daughter, but more communicative.

It was my turn. "We love you son. And I'm proud as hell of ya." I was getting a little teary but tried to be the stoic Dad. I think Travis appreciated both.

***

Life moved forward. Caitlin graduated from high school and was getting ready to head out East for college. Courtney was applying to med schools. Kate and I were starting to talk seriously about retirement and making plans for a future now that the kids were flying the coop.

Travis was now 25, out of college and living in Chicago. He worked as a personal trainer and just enjoyed being a young guy in the big city. He was probably enjoying dating and the gay scene, but I didn't know the details. But I had a sales visit in Chicago pretty often and I'd always book an extra night to have some quality time with my son.

It was nice to have a break from the "Brent" videos. Maybe it was the increased sex with Kate, a kind of second honeymoon, but I was watching way less porn. And while I visited Travis's videos from time to time, I wasn't as obsessed with them.

Until I saw a new one. An OnlyFans one shot in a hotel room. Only he was no longer "Brent" but "JakeTheJock." But it was the same hunky Travis, he'd even put on a little more muscle. And the same fuck technique... romantic making out, some swapped BJs or 69 for foreplay. Rimming his bottom, then going to pound town on him bareback.

It was like a junkie mainlining after getting out of rehab. I knew I shouldn't be watching, but there was just an incredible rush, a high even. I had gotten to where I regularly busted twice in a session watching Travis fuck, but this had me getting off three times.

It took some creativity but I found a way to subscribe to Trav's OnlyFans without any telltale signs on my credit card statement. With regularity, I found time to get off to watching my very hunky son have sex. The guilt hadn't gone completely away, but I'd gotten real good and compartmentalizing it. The weird thing is for as much as I watched my son's porn videos, I didn't have any specific fantasies involving me and him. It was just an immediate lust, combined with the thrill of taboo and the voyeurism of almost spying on him. Seeing his secret life.

At first I missed the relative professionalism of the Sean Cody vids, but Travis's OnlyFans offered the advantage of quantity. Every week, I got to watch Travis with another guy. Or a repeat session with one of the other OF "stars." He was branching out beyond jock types like him and doing other men. Some older, some beefier, some hairy. I loved watching it all. A couch BJ in a New York apartment, or shower sex in some London hotel. I was following up on my son's travel through his porn page.

***

It was hard to look at my son the same way again. I loved him and respected him as a normal proud parent, but when I visited him, in the back of my head all I could think of was Travis's toned muscle, his big thick dick and the size of his cum loads oozing out of some muscle dude's ass.

For what it was worth, my son SEEMED happier now, enjoying his life and his day job and filling me in a little on his dating life when I came to visit.

"Maybe I'm not ready to settle down," he admitted with a grin as we had dinner in some downtown restaurant that Travis had picked a change of pace from the expense account steakhouses I took prospects on my sales call.

God help me I found my son so attractive at that moment. The dim light of the restaurant bringing out his blond hair and blue eyes and his dimples and perfect teeth. I actually threw hard in my suit trousers under the tablecloth.

I was fucked up, I knew, but the next day I requested to be put more regularly on the Midwest territory at work. I passed it off as seniority and wanting some closer travel, but really I just wanted to be in Chicago more.

***

The next video my life changed. It was a Tuesday after my Chicago visit and I'd cut out of work a little early to have some time with a new video that was planned to drop. I still had no idea how far in advance Travis shot these. Maybe it was made right after my visit or weeks before.

I just knew something was different about this one. Travis had been paired with some older men before, mostly fitness buff types and muscle guys. But this one with by the handle "CornfedDaddy" and he looked a little like Travis - blond and blue eyed, that Scandinavian-German stock giving him some real height and bulk. He looked even more like me. Middle aged, fit but more normal looking than a normal porn star. I wondered how Travis's fan subscribers would react but seeing Travis making out with this dude got me hard as fuck.

I knew it was because I imagined myself in CornfedDaddy's place, and Travis actively attracted to me.

And that attraction was real. Travis wasn't faking the intensity of that kiss or the excitement in feeling up that 40-something bulk. My hunky son seemed almost dreamy voice as he growled, "Ready to show the guys something new, Daddy?"

That very word almost had me coming.

The man was like one of my goddamn work colleagues, or the married men you'd see around Kansas City. And he talked like a suburban guy, too. "Fuck yes," he answered with a happy laugh.

Travis's strong hand massaged the man's boner through his shorts, then pushed the hem down. CornfedDaddy might not have had a porn star body, but that dick was big, bigger than Travis's.

I watched as my son leaned over and started sucking on that giant hog.

I came, my first cum, shooting hard into my fist. I had to let go to cool off and stop the video a second. I wiped off the excess cum and tossed the kleenex in the trash. This was gonna be an epic stroke session.

I took a look around and checked my phone. Coast was going to be clear for a while. I resumed watching.

I'd seen Travis suck a dick before, but this felt more purposeful and certainly more of a challenge than the other bottoms he'd been with. But like before, he pulled off and leaned back on the couch, ready for his turn at being serviced. He pulled down his shorts and I saw my son's beautiful dick. I was proud I'd created a man that amazing.

CornfedDaddy got a big grin and scooted down onto his knees, between Travis's legs. I loved watching guys suck my son. Occasionally Travis would post oral only videos of some guy blowing him and swallowing his load. I don't know that I preferred those to the fucking but they were amazing in their own different way.

But Cornfed Daddy had a different kind of swagger to his dad-next-door expression. "Lift em up, son," he urged. And Travis did, pulling those thick, knotted thighs up and back to his chest.

The Daddy dove in, starting to rim Travis with an excited urgency.

"That's it, Daddy, eat my hole!" my son cried.

I shot the second time.

I was hyperventilating now. It took me a second to get the energy to pause the video. Daddy was just pulling out.

I looked down at my load. Not as heavy as the first, but jesus it was heavier than it had a right to be. I was grateful now that I hadn't chickened out or let my guilt stop me from subscribing to Travis's videos.

I took more of a break this time. I got some water and checked some work emails. I knew I wanted another cum, but i was in my 50s. I'd need some recovery time.

Finally, I was ready. I already knew this would be a video I'd savor for many sessions. I resumed it and wondered it was going to go where I dreamed it might.

It did. Cornfed grabbed some lube and slicked up his cock before lining it up with my sons hole, teasing it some.

"First time on camera, right?" he asked Travis.

My son's adorable smile showed as he nodded. "Fuck yeah. Figure it was time for those guys to watch me get fucked."

Cornfed gave him a quick kiss then leaned up and hissed. "Let's show them, then."

And like that I was watching another man penetrate my stud son's hot ass.

I held off stroking and just let my cock ache in hardness as I watched. I knew instinctively this was not Travis's first cock. But the virginity idea hit me deep, and the men on screen were playing it up.

Travis leaned back and stroked his big dick and came hard, shooting ropes on his ripped torso.

Cornfed kept fucking, but within a minute he was getting close, too. I watched him approach his nut and started stroking myself, trying to time my third cum with the ejaculation inside my son. It was pretty close. Watching that Daddy orgasm and hearing his grunt sent me firing.

By now, I was feeling spent and overstimulated. I had to shut the video and focus on something besides what I saw.

****

I had a Chicago sales call the following week. I gave Travis some space, telling him I'd be in the city more now and if he had other plans, he shouldn't feel obligated to meet up this time.

"Nonsense, Dad," he said. "I have some evening clients that day but I could meet you after."

I had a business dinner anyway, so I told him I'd come to Boystown for a change, and meet him for a drink around 9:30.

God, he looked like a million bucks, his workout clothes fitting his form well. He had an amazing body on camera, but up close his muscle seemed firmer, bigger. I had a fleeting thought that I should hire him as my personal trainer.

I was tempted to have a normal evening, but it had been weighing on my mind. The need to come clean. Not all of it of course, but halfway through our first drink I dropped the bombshell.

"Trav... I know how to bring this up, but I know about your videos," I said quietly.

I expected a sense of shame or embarrassment, but Travis mostly just seemed surprised. "Did someone tell you?" he asked.

I shook my head, letting out more than maybe I should. "No, I just stumbled on one."

That made my son grin. "So you watched me?" he asked with a gentle laugh.

The fact that my son didn't seem put off by me watching him made my heart pound and my mind go where it shouldn't. But I lied. "No... when I saw it was you...." I didn't know how to explain, maybe because there was no good explanation.

Travis's laid back nature put me at ease some. "I didn't know you were into gay stuff, Dad," he said with an easy smile. I could tell he was happy with that knowledge. Maybe it made him feel less of an outcast in the family or something.

"I guess I have a bi streak when it comes to porn," I admitted. I figured it was the least I could own up to, since I'd practically admitted it already. "But you're not telling your mother," I added with a playful smile of your own.

"Don't worry, Dad," he assured me. "Um, does she know about my porn life."

"No," I said. "No guarantees someone won't tell her, though."

He nodded. "Yeah, I figure. I mean, I'm not ashamed of it, Dad. I enjoy it and it's good money coming in. I'll probably be able to buy a nice condo in a year or so."

I shook my head with a little wince. For as much as I'd perved to my son, a father doesn't like hearing this kid is doing something which may harm him. "I hope you don't mind that I brought it up."

Travis patted my leg. Not flirty, but affectionate. "Nah, it's good you did. I don't like keeping secrets." He took as sip of his drink then continued, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Depends," I said. Nervous for what he was going to ask.

"So, when you came across my vid, you must have been watching some other stuff, right?"

"Yes," I replied softy.

Travis's expression got a little naughty grin. "Like, what kind of stuff?"

"Travis!" I admonished him.

"Come on, Dad," he coaxed me, undaunted. "It's just porn. All guys watch it."

God, there was something so assured and open about my son's embrace of sexuality that had me opening up to him. "There are a couple of guys that I like," I said, naming two of the Only Fans models I'd seen Travis paired with: MusclePupXXX and MrCakes.

I could tell my son was glad I told him. A secret between us, and maybe a bond. "I know those guys," he smiled. "I can hook you up with one if you like."

"Jesus!" I swore. Then gaining my calm, I tried to respond with a quip, "In case you don't remember, I'm a married man."

He shrugged. "It's just sex. I mean, men are pigs right?"

I worried maybe my son was way too jaded and that doing porn hadn't helped him. A scary idea occured to me. "Trav... you're not hustling are you?" I'd been afraid to ask.

Travis sighed. "It's not like that, Dad," he said. I wish he'd come out and said "no." But I got some assurance out his reply. "I like doing porn and that's good enough for me. It helps me build my client base up, too."

"For real?" I asked. For some reason I hadn't thought there would be a benefit to doing those videos.

"Oh yeah," my son explained. "I get so much business from guys who want me as a trainer."

"What? Do you sleep with them?" Then I held my hands up. "You know what? That's none of my business."

"You really wanna know," Travis was challenging me. "I don't charge them for it, but yeah, if they're hot and there's chemistry, then I'll have sex with them. It's fun and I've met a lot of hot guys that way. They're happy, too." He paused and gauged my reaction. "You don't approve, do you?"

I sighed and shook my head. "It's me who's worried about you not approving," I said.

Travis seemed surprised. "For watching gay porn? Dad, that's like the most normal thing ever. Seriously."

Our conversation turned to more normal day-to-day stuff, but when I got back to my hotel, I was glad I'd cleared the air with Travis. I felt like he had a closer bond now.

***

My next trip was a few weeks later. I'd hoped to treat Travis to dinner, but I had a business engagement that kept me till late. I texted my son to see if he was up for meeting me for a drink somewhere. He said sure and I grabbed an Uber to meet him closer to his neighborhood.

He wasn't alone. As I walked into the place, I saw him sitting next to a guy. Shorter, compact muscle that showed through his tight T-shirt. Trimmed beard, cute as fuck. It was MusclePupXXX.

"Hey Dad, I brought my friend Mike along," he explained. I played it cool and shook the guy's hands. The dude's eyes were on me, lecherous but playful at the same time. I was annoyed at Travis but also feeling an ego boost that this stud friend of his would be into me.

The next fifteen minutes was excruciating though. Trying to have a conversation with my son and small talk with this stranger at the same time. Processing my conflicting emotions.

Finally, Mike excused himself to the restroom. Travis had a shit-eating grin.

"Trav, what the fuck?" I growled.

He seemed undaunted. "Come on, Dad. Mike thinks your hot. It's your fantasy on a silver plate. Bang a porn star. No strings, no worries."

"I can't," I complained.

"If you don't wanna, no skin off my back," he said. "Honest, Dad, I'm not trying to piss you off. Just thought you'd enjoy it."

Mike came back, interrupting our conversation. We'd finished the drink, when Travis said he had to go. "I have a 6AM client," he explained, getting up from the bar seat.

Mike looked over at me, trying to read what I was going to do.

"I think I may stay for another," I said, blushing the minute I said it.

Mike didn't miss a beat. "I will too. Later, bro?" he said to Travis, giving him a fist bump then getting up for a gay-dude hug and kiss.

The remainder of the evening went down pretty much as you'd expect. Heavy eye contact then me taking MusclePupXXX back to my hotel room, where I got a real porn star blow job before pulling him off and asking if I could fuck him.

This wasn't some DL Craigslist BJ. This was real, honest to god man-to-man sex, and it ws incredible. I pounded this muscle hunk in multiple positions and he was every bit the power bottom he was on screen. It occurred to me that he was getting the father of another guy who'd fucked him and that was a big part of the turn on for him. The idea got me off, too, and I nutted hard in his hole, collapsing onto his back as I caught my breath.

I thought I'd feel guilty after but that orgasm had put me in a good mood. We showered together, softly making out and exploring each other's soapy wet bodies.

"So, my son didn't pay you for that, did he?" I asked, not accusing in tone, more curious.

Mike grinned and reached down to cup my genitals. "Nah. You're hot, man. You're a good fuck too. You should hit me up next time you're in Chicago."

"So you live here," I said dumbly. For some reason I thought maybe Mike was just visiting from New York or LA.

"Best city on Earth," he nodded proudly. "And Midwestern guys are the hottest."

With that he turned around and backed his meaty ass against my now hard again dick. Yeah, round two sounded amazing.

***

The next time I visited, I fucked MusclePupXXX again. A quickie in the afternoon, before my work dinner. It felt naughty as hell.

He called me Daddy during sex, and I let a "son" or two slip out. That both worked us up big time, and it was clear my relation to Travis was in the back of our minds. It was still in the back of my mind when I met Travis later on for dinner. He didn't ask me about Mike and I wondered if he knew. But he had a knowing look about something.

Summer came, and the work travel slowed. I followed my son on OnlyFans as he went to Barcelona and Fire Island. He was bottoming more now, and he seemed to be with older men more. Daddy types. CornfedDaddy made a regular appearance when he was back in Chicago, and I half wondered if they were dating.

Travis was out of town the next time I went to Chicago for work, but MusclePup Mike was there. I had him over to my hotel after dinner and he stayed over the night. We went at it deep with the dad-son thing. I knew it was wrong, but I was SO turned on doing it. And it thrilled Mike, too. The more I was "Dad" for him the more eagerly he bounced on my cock.

"You're incredible," I said to him the next morning as I brought him a coffee from the hotel lobby. I'd gotten showered and dressed for my morning meeting.

Mike had buzzed-short hair and looked adorable first thing in the morning. "You're not getting feeling for me are you, Mr. Connors?" He'd taken to calling me by my last name. I let him.

I shook my head. "No. Just living out a midlife crisis, I suppose."

That made him break out in a goofy grin. Mike was short, 5'7" or so, and his compact build looked all bulked up with his brawn. "Well, lucky for you that midlife crises are my speciality," he grinned, leaning forward and unzipping my suit trousers.

I set down my coffee and felt the silky soft mouth go down on me. For all our time together, Mike had never sucked me to completion. He was going to now. I gently ran my fingers through his hair as he worked me more eagerly and got me to the finish line. I came hard down his throat and was grateful that that made bottoms as hot as MusclePup Mike.

"That gonna last you today, Daddy?" he asked with a lewd smile.

"It should," I replied, meeting him for a soft kiss and tasting my own cum on his lips.

***

Travis bought his condo. Lakeview, modern, amazing 1 bed room. He was proud and happy and clearly eager to show it off to me. The furnishing was still sparse and Travis talked a mile a minute about his plans for decorating the place and making it feel like home.

He walked me over to the window and described how his view was protected because of the park across the street. I patted his shoulder.

"It's an amazing place, son," I said. "You did well."

Travis kind of leaned into me some, and I saw a look in his eye. Gone was the confident assured porn star. There was my son, questioning me. I knew then that Mike had told him stuff. And I knew what was on Travis's mind.

"You know," I said. "I lied to you before. I've watched your videos. All of them."

That made my son smile. There was the confident sex machine coming to life. "Yeah, what did you think?" his voice had almost a gravely sound and I knew he was turned on.

"They were the hottest goddamn thing I've ever seen in my life," I hissed.

Our lips met. Soft at first, then hard charging. We'd built up too much lust to take it easy. Travis's hands were unbuttoning my dress shirt and I was tugging at the hem of hit T.

"Fuck... we gonna do this, Dad?" he growled with lust.

"If we don't I'll have the worst blue balls in the world," I replied.

This was so wrong, and that forbidden nature fueled our excitement. We stepped back and stripped for each other. Then Travis took my hand and led me to his bedroom.

"You're gonna be the first guy to fuck me here," he said naughtily. Our naked bodies clung to one another on the bed, father cock against son cock, as we made out. Travis scooted from my grip and fumbled for some lube. I equally fumbled prepping myself and getting in place. The fuck was rushed, too rushed. I came within a minute of entry and my son didn't seem to do better.

But we lay on the bed side by side, holding hands and grinning at each other. Cocks still hard. My first load inside my son, his streaming and liquefying on his chest.

"I can't believe I just fucked JakeTheJock," I joked, and Travis laughed.

"Would you ever consider doing that on camera?" he asked.

That shocked me, but Travis added, "You could wear a mask, no one would know it was you, Dad. Think about it. It would be hot as fuck."

I would think about it. That was the crazy thing. My son had a way of upending my world.

But for now, I didn't want any cameras or onlookers. I just wanted it to be me and Trav. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand. Then he climbed on top of my naked body and kissed me deeply as he bucked his slick ass against my boner. My hands possessively felt up his gym-perfected body and decided I was going to get in real shape myself.

For now, Travis seemed into me, into my dad bod, into fucking around with his actual father. I felt him shift angle and my rigid shaft entered a now more pliable, open hole as my son sank down on me.

I had an hour before I had to go get ready for my meeting, and I was going to make the most of it.

#drakestories

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