#it depends on which version of him this is i think in the books he's probably shorter but the live action ones are definitely 5'11.

[cosmiccowboystuddies]

A Secret History, otherwise known as what the fuck Richard

(the last few bullet points will be talking about CSA so if that triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, don't read this)

Hi pookies, sorry for being awol, I've been prepping for finals, as well as annotating a secret history, and I had some thoughts I felt like sharing.

first of all fuck Henry

Bunny being the one to say " to live forever" is the definition of being doomed by the narritive

there is no version of the story where bunny lives, and by him being the one who says that, is in a way a challenge to Henrey

Richard opens the book by claiming to be a good liar, and in every situation where he lies he does it horribly is the funniest thing ever

Henry was a budding serial killer, and I think that by the simple fact of giving poor Charles those pills

I also don't think Bunny was as bad as the group made him out to be. Richard is obviously a self-admitted unreliable narrator, but I really don't think Bunny was as bad as they were making him out to be

sure he was probably really annoying, but the week before his death I don't think he was being purposely antagonistic but acting afraid

and in a sense when Richard found out about the murder, that was bunny signing his death certificate.

i think Henry was always going to kill Bunny, he was just waiting for a good enough excuse

when Jullian left Henry started decompensating like a serial killer, and that's why he lost control when talking to Charles

and while it is clearly the best choice to send Fransis to the police, Henry tells Charles to go because Charles is easy to manipulate

i think Fransis is obviously disalutioned by Henry from the beginning of the book, while Charles and Richard were still drinking the Kool-aid

Camilla is obviously romantisized by Richard, and I think that in all reality he probably viewed women in a simmular way Bunny did

in Camilla's descriptions she is often barefoot, and he makes note to mention that during the act of the murder she wasn't present

he also compares most women to Marion a person he thinks is too stupid and girly

people forget how physically imposing henry is, by Richard describing him it almost infantilizes him, in a way.

he is physically imposing which made him look odd, but he lifted camila with great ease, and lifts weight despite is limp

i think he hurt camilla by pulling out her hair, and hurting her wrist

i feel bad for bunny because while he was teetering over the edge he must have been so afraid

richard and henry could have been the same under slightly different circumsances

camilla is not as oblivious to things as people belive she is, obviously she is a victim, but the narrative implies that she is for lack of a better term, not completely innocent

she is a victim of her circumstances, but not completely innocent

richard clings to the group because they are every thing he wanted to

henry killed himself to achieve some fucked up version of godhood.

fransis is the most complex character because by the end of the book we feel bad for him despite taking advantage of 2 of the other characters in the book

he is also clearly in love with Charles but yk

CSA TW BELOW

okay so i think its pretty clear that Charles is a CSA victim

he very clearly has an eating disorder, and a alcohol problem which Fransis exacerbates by getting him drunk and hooking up with him frequently

not only that but he is really dependent on his friendships and is constantly paranoid that they are talking about him, but needs constant reassurance like a child

but also when bunny is making digs at the group, he starts talking about the preversions of the catholic church, i don't think that group cared, nor do i belive that any of them are particularly religious, but I do belive that Bunny was making a dig about Charles being molested by a preist

and if that's the case than his ultimate outcome makes the most sense,

that also makes sense why he would frequently sleep with camilla and fransis

feel free to message me so we can chat about it... this book has recently become my greatest obsession, or we can chat in the comments.

[nonexistent-introvert]

Alternate Reminder

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Content: Miguel has trouble trying to treat you fairly when you remind him too much of what he had lost. Angst, misunderstanding.

A/N: I havent truly proofread this so I'm sorry. This took super long.

Part 2

   Miguel thought you were special. He thought it was maybe the universe giving him a second chance when he saw you. His first love and his beautiful wife, standing in front of him while wearing a Spiderman suit. Maybe, he was destined to be with you, after all, a universe where you could understand him. A universe where he could finally be happy with you and Gabriella, a universe that he actually belonged to and he didn’t have to worry about destroying a whole universe just to be with you. 

   The only problem? This version of you had zero ideas of who Miguel O’Hara is. Miguel thought it was a canon event, for the both of you to fall in love. In most universes he had been to, you were with Miguel. In most, you were happy and had a family with him. In the more unfortunate universes, things didn’t work out between the two of you. The only thing that was unchanged was that Miguel and you were bound to find and fall in love with each other at one point. 

  However, Miguel hated your guts. His amor was sweet, responsible, and well-organized. You were the complete opposite of that. You were rude, irresponsible, and very messy as a person. He dared say that you were the messiest person he had ever met. There was no sign of organisation at your workstation. Papers were messily stacked on top of each other or swept across the desk. The mini shelf you had beside your desk was filled with books that were all falling to one side, some had completely collapsed. More files were squeezed on top of the books. Miguel’s greatest pet peeve was seeing the bent and folded pages being shoved into a file. The urge to help you reorganize was almost too big for him to handle causing the frustration to build up and was let out onto you instead. Miguel groaned as he met eye contact with you while he was buying his morning coffee. It was almost insulting to him how you had the same exact face as her, the woman he falls for in every universe. 

   On the opposite side of the same coin, you loathed Miguel O’Hara. He was bossy, pompous, and couldn’t take a single joke. Any conversation you have had with him ended up in the both of you arguing. Sarcasm was something everyone around you had gotten used to, except for Miguel of course who never seemed to catch on. He would simply give you a judgemental stare before giving a literal answer which you would roll your eyes at. At that point, Miguel would think that you’re being rude, and depending on his mood that day, he would either scold you or scoff at you. 

   “Just get over it, you’re always mad at Miguel anyways. I thought you would get used to it by now.” Gwen sighed, giving you the same response every time you ranted about Miguel. “It’s not like you don’t know the big guy,” Hobie said nonchalantly, having long gotten used to your rants about Miguel. “You hate him, we get it.” Pavitr groaned, complaining for the umpteenth time about how you always seemed to be talking about Miguel. Gwen chuckled, “If you didn’t point out every single flaw of his so heartlessly every time you rant about him, I would think you have a crush on Miguel  or something.” Gwen said. “Hell no. I’m not fucking blind.” you defended, offended she would even think this way. “You gotta admit, big boss is quite the looker, too bad he’s a prick.” Hobie pointed out. “Speak of the devil,” Pavitr warned, straightening up as he stared at Miguel who was walking to your table’s direction. 

    You merely glared in his direction. Gwen was right, you should be used to him by now. He shouldn’t be getting under your skin so easily. So why can’t you just ignore him? Why does your mind always drift to him when you’re alone, why do you realise when he was due for a haircut? How his hair curls at the end when he lets his hair grow, how he reaches 10 minutes early to any appointment, and how he would get his coffee at exactly 9am in the morning. You shook your head, riding yourself off those thoughts. There was no way you actually had some sort of attraction to him right? Your mind drifted to the fight you had with him 5 days ago, his words still causing a dull ache in your heart. The both of you always fought but you were sure Miguel was going to kick you off the team until he called your friends the next day and gave you a mission through them while also completely disregarding your presence if he saw you around after. 

===================

   “Mind your own business!” Miguel exclaimed, you flinched at his harsh tone. “I was just-” “Who said you could touch my property?” Anger was practically the only emotion in his voice as he pushed you to the side. “Lyla told me you were having some troubles, that your screens had some kind of issue-” You gritted out, closing your eyes to calm yourself too. You only had good intentions to fix the issues he was fixing and now you were being accused of invading his privacy. You couldn't even remember any of the files that appeared on the screen while you were fixing his terrible code. Too focused on solving the technical errors to be poking your nose into his business. “I don’t need your help,” He seethed. “She was going to help you, Miguel. You have been complaining about it and even I can’t help you, you very well know she’s the only one equipped with the knowledge to fix this.” Lyla defended you. The fury in Miguel’s eyes scared you as well, “You need to mind your own business as well.” He snarled to Lyla before turning to you, switching off the orange screens completely. “I would rather let everything burn to hell than trust you to fix anything. You’re a fucking mess if you didn’t realize. ” Miguel spat. 

  It was your last straw. You had more self-respect than let anyone speak to you like that. “Kick me off, fucking kick me off already. You hate me anyways, right? So why do you bother keeping me around?” 

   “Get out!” Miguel bellowed and you didn’t need him to repeat himself. You took off the watch on your wrist and threw it to the floor, letting it break into pieces. In that moment, his words hurt you more than glitching ever would. 

 ============ 

   Peter found you at a bar in your universe that day. You downed another glass of whiskey at the sight of Peter, you were in too bad of a mood to talk to anyone now and you know you would regret it if you lashed out at him.

  Peter didn’t say anything, simply sitting beside you and staring as you downed one glass after another. 

 Peter ordered a drink, taking sips of his drink as he decided on the best approach to talk to you. Your anger was practically radiating off you, making everyone else stir clear of you. 

   “He’s all bark no bite.” Peter started. You scoffed lightly, letting the silence fall between the both of you. You turned to peter, feeling bad for putting him in an uncomfortable situation. “You heard already huh.” Peter simply shrugged, “Word travels fast. Practically the whole society knows.” You downed another glass at that, you wondered how much the story had changed as it was passed from one person to another. It was probably a field day at headquarters. 

   “There is barely anyone at headquarters, Miguel has been bringing hell to anyone he even makes eye contact with,” Peter answered as though he could read your thoughts. You had to bite back your words, to tell Peter that you really couldn’t care less about Miguel now nor did you need the company. Silence fell between the both of you, Peter lightly bobs his head to the music that was playing in the bar to relieve the tension that was building up. He was never one for tense situations. “You know, you’re not really that different from Miguel.” Peter immediately put his hands up in defense when you practically growled at his comment. “Well, it’s just that both of you would rather die than talk about your emotions. Thankfully, I managed to crack Miguel so I think I can do it for you too.” Peter confidently stated. You remained silent, swirling the whiskey in your hand. You didn’t trust yourself to not lash out at Peter, especially when he’s practically comparing you to Miguel. The man you hated in all of the multiverse 

  “Hm, silence. Miguel screamed at me when we reached this point.” Peter observed, laughing nervously at the memory of his talk with Miguel. “I guess I’ll just go on first then.” Peter wrung his hands nervously. “I’m sure Miguel didn’t mean anything. You just hit a sore spot.” You scoffed again, “What? By trying to fix his stupid system?” 

Peter took another swig, he definitely needed the alcohol. “Do you not know about what is on those screens? One that probably popped up while you were fixing it.” “Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t snooping on him. I was focused on the system itself.” You defended. Peter cringed ever so slightly at your response. “There is this girl on the screen, the one with a happier, better-looking Miguel.” Peter took another swig, this really wasn’t his story to tell. You pursed your lips, you did remember seeing the footage that Peter mentioned. You had to force yourself to look away, that you were invading his privacy. 

   “That’s his daughter.” Peter finished, trying to gauge your reaction. You simply preserved a blank look and Peter groaned slightly, he detested how stubborn you were. “Miguel found a universe where he had a family and was happy, but him in that universe had an accident so he replaced himself. Some butterfly effect happened and the whole universe collapsed on itself and he lost everything.” Peter explained. You finished your drink, everyone has lost someone. You understood why it was a sore spot but it doesn’t justify being a total asshole. 

“Miguel didn’t mean anything he said to you. It was just- tough.” Peter finished. “I didn’t even do shit Peter, just decided to fix his system and he accused me of invading his fucking privacy. It’s not like he’s the only one who lost someone. We all did.” Peter shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “He just fucking hates my guts and I don’t know why? He literally told most people about my past when he explains about anomalies so why is he so mad when I know about it?” 

    “Because you have the same name and face as his wife, the woman who he falls for in every universe.” Your jaw dropped at the information. You couldn’t ever fathom the thought of you and Miguel even being in love. The anger in you simmered ever so slightly. It would explain how his features softened when he sees you sometimes, the vulnerable look in his eyes when he stares at you for too long. A stranger with memories, that is what you are to Miguel. Miguel tries his best to treat you like others. It was exceptionally tough when you shared the same name and face as the woman he had spent his happiest moments with. “He never told me,” you told Peter. Peter shook his head, “No one was allowed to tell you. Not like many people knew anyways. He didn’t want to stir up any unnecessary trouble. You know how he is, he doesn’t like it when people try to share his burdens.” You pursed your lips, cursing out your alcohol tolerance. It was times like this you wished you could just forget everything. “It doesn’t matter. Miguel probably wants me out of his life.” Peter threw his hands up frustratedly. “If he wants you out he wouldn’t send me here to tell you about everything.” Peter admitted. Peter was worried when he heard the news of you and Miguel having a fight which is what brought him to talk to Miguel. Peter wouldn’t be able to find you by himself, only Miguel could. You closed your eyes, you had enough of everyone. You were so exhausted, everything has been so draining. 

      “Just leave me alone alright?” You said, stumbling out of your seat slightly before leaving the bar and Peter behind. 

======================================

   “The anomaly was caught. We ensured there were no loose ends. Everything should be fine.” You reported to Miguel. Your hands were behind your back, there was a blank look on your face. Miguel bit his lip slightly at your cold demeanor toward him. He used to complain about you taking things too lightly. When you would stroll into his office with a grin, confidently telling him all the details of the mission even if it was insignificant. Now, you told him the bare minimum with a professional tone and stand. 

    Miguel used to complain and bluntly tell you that he didn't care for some of the details you told him after. Details like you and Gwen dropped by a Mcdonald's to grab some fries or that you also managed to finish a recent show. Now he wishes you would tell him, instead of you acting like this., all quiet and serious.   Miguel took a deep breath, staring at you as the platform descended. He looked away slightly, knowing things were still tense between the two of you. “Sorry about that the other day. I was not in the right place.” He apologised, forcing himself to meet your eye. Your expression was still blank, “It’s fine.” You brushed it off like you hadn’t been thinking about it ever since. “If that’s everything, I’ll take my leave now.” You told him, bowing slightly as you turned. Miguel flinched at the tone. “Wait.” He wanted to stop you from leaving. Then his head turned to the orange screens behind him that glitched every so often. “Would you-” Miguel hesitated, thinking if this was the best move.”

   “I- can you help me fix the screens?” Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “I promise I won’t lash out at you.” Miguel weakly joked. You simply nodded, stepping up onto his platform. Miguel stared at you, you were so unlike yourself. There were no teasing comments, no laughter, not even a hint of a smile. You stood in front of his screens, diligently and skillfully opening and typing away a new code. Miguel shifted and fidgeted behind you, he was wrecking his mind for a conversation topic. You were the one who usually initiated or continued the conversations. His mind replaying all the conversations he had with you. A smile tugged on his lips, music was your common ground with him. He remembered how your eyes twinkled when you talked about your favorite songs. 

   “I recently got into classical music.” Miguel shared. Miguel was half-convinced that he wouldn’t get a reply when you let his words hang in the air while you focused on the task at hand. “Oh? Mahler?’ You finally replied. His eyes widened. “How did you know?” He was greeted with silence again and only then did he appreciate how quick your responses used to be. “I just want to know, because you seemed really confident about it. Did I tell you?” Miguel filled the silence himself. “I just saw it.” You gestured to the screens. He nodded, letting the tense silence take over again. You were never so quiet, he never had to deal with this uncomfortable silence when he was with you. 

    “You changed.” Miguel blurted out. There was no response from you as you continued working on the screens. You didn’t know how to respond either. The news about you being an alternate version of his wife, it was rather overwhelming. You used to spite him and annoy him just for the fun of it, but after everything, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it anymore.  His gaze made you self-conscious now, of what he thought of you, and nor did you want a repeat of what happened that day. You did a lot of thinking the past few days and you had to come to terms with the fact that you didn’t hate Miguel O’Hara. You couldn’t hate him. The thought of him hating you, it was terrifying. 

     “What?” You muttered, Miguel barely caught onto your response. He placed his hands on his hips, looking down. “Look, I’m really sorry for that day and I know I can’t take back anything but I really hope you don’t distance yourself from me because of that.” Miguel swallowed, it was publicly known that the both of you never seemed to get along but the thought of you becoming cold to him made him shiver to his core. “You’re overthinking things.” You stated plainly, forcing out a laugh. Miguel sighed, “You just seem, very different. Let’s not even talk about our interactions. You have just been more distant with everyone, you’re taking things way too seriously and well, you’re a lot more well organised now. The biggest shame was losing the constant smile, boosted many of their morale even in the most difficult of times.” you swallowed bitterly, debating internally if you should snap at Miguel right now while you stared at the screens before you. “I had to work on not being a mess right?” You answered, quoting his exact words. Miguel’s eyes flashed with a hint of pain and you knew it was a low blow. He had already apologised, you’re the one who keeps bringing it up. But those words haunted you even till now. 

    “You really changed huh?” Miguel continued. He didn’t expect you to use his words against him. When you know that he regrets it, it was a low move even for you. “It’s done.” You announced, ignoring his comment towards you. Your patience was thinning again. He merely glanced towards the screens before looking at you again. “You’re not the person I knew,” Miguel stated plainly. You turned your head to him. 

   “I’m not the woman you had in mind, Miguel! I’m not your fucking wife and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You looked away, running your hands through your hair in distress. “I never was. I’m sorry I remind you of her but I’m not her.” You snapped at him. Walking out of his office.   Everything made sense now. Miguel would be annoyed and frustrated with you most times, but there were times that he acted differently towards you. The times when he had carried you to a more comfortable place when you had fallen asleep on your table, the jackets that he had given to you to keep you warm still hung in your closet. The late-night conversations where he was more vulnerable towards you and had conversations with you about your interests while you hung from the ceiling, claiming that it helped you stay awake while you sift through the paperwork with him. You found it weird how he could hate your guts one second but be even sweet to you when it was just the two of you. At one point, you even thought you had fallen for Miguel O’Hara. 

   You shook your head, ignoring Miguel behind you as you rid the thought of even entertaining a possibility with Miguel. He never treated you as you are, he never liked you for who you are. 

  You simply shared a face and name with the woman he was destined to fall for. 

   You chuckle at how foolish you were while you stepped on the watch that Peter had given to you as replacement for your old one. 

   “I fucking quit.” You announced to a surveillance camera in the hallway, knowing fully well that he is monitoring the camera for your whereabouts now. 

Miguel angrily swept the files off his table, growling out in frustration. He buried his face in his hands, he never saw you as the woman who he had fallen for and had Gabriella with. Sure, there were a few times your identical looks made his heart pace with what could have been. However, Miguel had started spending more time with you and getting to know you as a person. In those times, he reckoned he enjoyed it too much.

There was no way he was falling for you right?

Was there a point even if he did? You had already left him.

Miguel O'Hara always messes up his own happiness. That seems more like his canon event than falling in love with you.

[clericofgale]

The stars will be our bed

I'm seeing a very popular narrative that asking for physical sex during Gale's act 2 scene is better for his character development, and the astral scene is bad for him. Or at least not as good. While I do prefer the astral version more, I disagree with the notion that either one is better for Gale's plot development. I've done both options depending on the what felt right for that specific Tav at the time. As always, if that's the narrative you want to build, there's nothing wrong with it.

For me personally I think both are narratively sound for his character development. Yes Gale needs to know he doesn't need magic to be loved, but Gale also loves magic. It's his life, his passion and his artistic medium of choice. What he needs is balance, not total rejection. You want the man, and the magic.

"Tactful, Bowing to the player's desires"

If you insist on regular sex, that's the devnote that's attached to it. Gale is acquiescing to what you, the player wants. Gale wanted to share his magic with you, but you refused. He doesn't care either way, as long as he's spending the night with you. The approval numbers are the same. He obviously prefers the astral sex because it's what he's used to and confident in, but either is fine.

One thing we have to remember is Gale also uses magic to find connection. In the act 1 weave scene, Gale and you share thoughts over the weave. It's exactly what he's trying to do in Act 2 as well. It's a mind meld sequence using the weave. I don't think Gale is trying to use magic to as a front in this scene, despite the "I can wow you" sentence if you refuse. I think he's trying to share his inner self with magic as the canvas, and connect with you in this most intimate way. It's akin to Fane's scene in DOS2 where you share Source with each other and also mind meld.

Gale wants to distill a lifetime's worth of affection into one night because he feels he will die soon. The scene is his "Last Night Alive". Gale, the artist of the weave puts on his final and private show for his beloved. He weaves stars and invites light to the land of shadows. He's prepared for days for this whole sequence, and you only need to trust him.

If you do he leads you into his innermost world. First, where he feels safest, and the balcony that brings him comfort. Then the book of a thousand days and nights filled with his love for you. The amount of time he wishes he had left to show you his affection, physical or emotional.

But he only has one night.

"There are endless worlds out there. Countless ways to declare love. Infinite ways to express it. Too much for one night.. but we shall try."

The astral scene is him trying. He multiplies as he refuses to let go your hand. He caresses every part of your mind, body, and soul. Gale tries desperately to sear every fiber of your being, of the one he loves onto his own soul. He wants to feel everything you do, and the weave is capable of that.

"Your bodies and minds weave together in a masterpiece of intimacy. Never have you felt such wonder, such love - as vast as the universe itself, and just as heavenly. "

You are one and the same that night. Where Gale ends and you begin is a mystery; he is lost in you and you in him.

"We are all sensual vessels. Illusory magic lets us sail farther, and feel more deeply."

The scene is beautiful, both narratively and visually. This is not a man trying to use magic to demonstrate his worth so you won't leave him. This is a man trying to use magic to weave a tapestry from two spools of thread in one night. It's ok to let him do so. It's also ok to remind him he doesn't need to. Whichever feels right in that moment is the right choice.

They all end in giving Gale renewed hope. Magic was merely the medium on which it blossomed and thrived. Whether from a bed of stars or a bed conjured under it, your love is what gave it life.

Thanks for reading this way too long cold take.

[noneorother]

Aziraphale *IS* a real magician

Just not the way he implies. Of course. 🙃 Have you ever wondered what this is? The portal that he calls the Metatron on in S1, and discorporates the demons in S2? Yeah me too. I decided to find out for both of us. Turns out it's a modified Solomon's magic circle! (there are some angelic symbols in there)

Which is, depending on who you ask, magic passed down to humans (King Solomon) from angels in biblical times. The grimoire that houses this particular version is from 1572, and is one of the oldest surviving ones in book form. So Aziraphale, in the historical sense of the word, is a Magician who performs spells. Want to see something interesting though? Aziraphale's been hiding an ace up his sleeve.

If you look at the traditional magic circle, you'll see that the one I put up there is actually a small part in the center of this big one. Which also includes that weird triangle up there, which is called a Magic Triangle (of course) or a Triangle of Art (lol Aziraphale). It's used to summon demons and angels, and make them do things. Like tell the truth when they would rather lie. So do we think that Aziraphale has one of those too? Only one way to find out. Time to find a schematic of the bookshop and put it all together....

The magic triangle seems to be contained pretty perfectly beneath the big persian rug that aziraphale has place under his desk that extends all the way to the bookcase and sofa. With the central mandala of the rug pattern placed on top of the circle space in the triangle.

Wouldn't it be weird if this came in really handy in the show?

Like when an enemy with supposed memory loss shows up and he's trying to question him to make sure Gabriel is telling the truth? Yeah that would be a really good magic trick.

[judeswhore]

fluff alphabet; jude bellingham

summary: fluff alphabet

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

notes: you can find my masterlist here. u ask, i deliver🤭u can find the smutty version of this here

A = Affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

so so so affectionate it’s sickening to other people but it’s ur favourite thing abt him. he loves hugs and kisses and holding hands and just touching u in general. will randomly come up to u in the house or while ur out w family/friends and wrap u up in the tightest bear hug for no reason other than he wants to love on u. you’ll be talking or just minding ur own business and suddenly he’s smothering ur face in kisses, gripping ur cheeks and just attacking u with his lips and his excuse will just be “cant help it, just so pretty baby”. and saying that he’s so affectionate w his words too. always telling u how gorgeous u are, how nice u look today in those clothes or just randomly compliments u when ur laying abt in the house bc he just needs u to know and never wants u to forget

B = Baby (do they want children?)

so so badly. he has baby fever more than u probably. he always sees his older teammates w their children and it sends him into a spiral bc even tho ur both pretty young he cant wait to start ur own family. he can never concentrate seeing u with children bc it’ll send his mind into overdrive and he’s always telling u how excited he is to finally have kids. probably has a lot planned out already such as how he’d wna decorate their rooms and his favourite names and the two of u probably talk abt it a lot. especially at night when it’s dark and it feels safe to whisper abt ur future together. just snuggling into him and whispering abt which names u like the most and whether they’ll be more like u or more like him and if u should paint their room blue or pink or yellow. i think his favourite thing to do wld be to plan a future that involves kids

C = Cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

he loves cuddles!!! more than anything bc he’s such a big softie and just likes holding u/likes to be held. loves a tight bear hug!! just wraps u up completely in his arms and squeezes, rocks u a little and it’s so comforting to both of u. loves to cuddle in bed too even when ur not sleeping. he’s watching tv and ur reading but he’s on top of u, head on ur stomach while he’s got his arms wrapped around u

D = Dates (do they prefer flashy or casual dates?)

bit of both and it depends on the mood. he adores showing u off and spoiling u rotten so he’ll book expensive restaurants and buy expensive wine and food bc u deserve the best of everything. but bc of his fame sometimes he wants u to himself where u can’t be interrupted or bombarded by fans. so he youse will have a casual cinema date tucked away in the back of the theatre and then eating fast food in ur car parked up in the car park. or just date night at home, just the two of u. cooking dinner or ordering take away, watching movies and smuggling, just super quiet and low key

E = Emotions (are they an emotional person? are they good at expressing themselves?)

we can all agree he’s pretty emotionally mature and he wld be in ur relationship. if something was upsetting him or he wasn’t happy w something he’d tell u bc he’s been taught that talking is always the best way to solve things. he is pretty emotional but he’s not one to hide it, he’ll tell u when he’s sad or when he’s happy and he worn try and hide any of his feelings from u bc he wants u both to be open abt that stuff and there for each other. sometimes he’ll turn to the silent treatment but it wldnt last very long mainly bc he cant cope not talking to u but also bc he realises that it’s stupid and he misses u. he can be very stubborn at times tho so even tho most of the times he’s great at communicating his emotions the odd time his age will really show and his stubborn side will come out. that’s usually what leads to the silent treatment but again it never lasts that long especially when he sees u looking all snug in his hoodie on the bed and he just need to cuddle u. he’d mutter a little apology w kisses and you’d talk it out

F = Feelings (who caught feelings first?)

HIM. he knew u was in deep the second he met u, stumbling over his words and getting all embarrassed, trying to be funny and failing bc he was so nervous. but after a few dates he’d know for certain how much he liked u. making him work for it a little bit and refusing to date him for a while and that just makes him fall for u more but from the get go he likes u so so bad. always flirting, always complimenting u, talking abt u none stop to his family and his friends. he’d talk abt u so much to his mam that she’d know u so well before the two of u even met. him being the one to catch feelings first he’d also be the one to initiate ur first kiss bc he just can’t wait any longer and then after he’d be a giddy little mess and wld have to kiss u again. and again. and again. until ur both giggling and u have to hold him at arms length

G = Gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he’s a baby and a gentle soul in person no matter how angry he gets on the pitch. he’s always so soft and careful with u (unless u ask him not to be) bc he’s aware of how much bigger and stronger he is and he doesn’t wna hurt u. always holds u carefully and kisses u softly until ur demanding more and then ofc he’s complying but if it’s not one of those situations he’s always so gentle with u. he’s always reminding u he loves u too at any given moment, even if ur in the middle of an argument and he can’t leave without making sure he says it

H = Honesty (do they share everything with you?)

yes. ur the first to know anything abt anything bc ur the first person he thinks to call or text or go home to. no matter what it is he tells u, whether it be gossip from the team or his friends or news abt his career he tells u it all. even bad stuff, he shares all of it with u bc he knows you’ll sit and listen and will offer advice if he needs it

I = I love you (who said “i love you” first?)

so even tho he caught real feelings first u were the one to say “i love u” first. saying it after one of this big matches and ur just so so proud of him and the second he’s in front of u u dive at him, wrapping urself completely around him and going on abt how proud u are and then slipping in that little phrase and jude wld think he’d misheard at first. he’d pull away and set u back on ur feet and ask u to say it again and ur smiling so bright at him, taking his cheeks and kissing him so softly while repeating it and he’s just so overwhelmed bc maybe he’s been wanting to say it for a while but he’s been a little scared but now he’s not holding back. smothering ur face in kisses and in between them he’s saying he loves u. just so sweet and cute and neither of u are focused on people around u

J = Jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

i feel like he’s very confident in ur relationship and how much u love him so he usually doesn’t get jealous bc he knows if anyone’s coming on to u ur not interested and wld brush them off immediately. but sometimes he can’t help himself, usually if it’s his friends or teammates that have a thing for u bc to him that’s crossing a line. he doesn’t really do anything too drastic, usually just a “subtle” reminder that ur his. will usually wrap an arm around ur shoulder or waist or pull u in for a quick kiss, just something to say “yeah she’s mine u can stop looking now”. it sometimes makes him a little pouty but ur always quick to kiss that away and send him a smile and a reminder that u love him

K = Kisses (where do they like to kiss their partner? where do they like to be kissed?)

loves loves loves giving forehead kisses!!! will just cup the back of ur neck and then dip his head to press his lips to ur forehead. sometimes he’ll linger for a little while and you’ll feel him smile and it’s honestly the cutest thing. does it all the time. to say hello, to say goodbye, to say he loves u, just bc, while he’s laughing over something you’ve said, to placate ur jealousy, as a way of making u feel better if u sad, literally will kiss ur forehead all the time and for so many reasons :(

he likes when u kiss his jaw bc it makes him all fuzzy inside and u often do it before kissing him properly so it’s like a build up. just slowly kissing his jaw until he’s all impatient and then finally slotting ur lips over his and he’ll give this quiet little hum of happiness every single time. also likes when u kiss his thighs, not even in a sexual way (although he does love that). just laying w ur head on his thigh while watching tv or scrolling on ur phone and then you’ll just turn ur head and pepper his thighs in kisses just showing them so much love and he always gets a stupid grin on his face bc he thinks it’s adorable

L = Little ones (how are they around children?)

oh he’s an absolute angel we all know this. is so happy to be around children no matter what, will talk to them, play w them, teach them little football tricks if they ask like he’s just the sweetest and u adore it. if u have little neices/nephews or siblings he’d love being around them, like wld wna babysit all the time and wld have the best time and they’d love him. the way he is w children always makes u broody and he always teases u abt it and jokes that all the babysitting now is to prepare u for future little bellingham’s

M = Morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

some mornings he has to leave before u and if that’s the case he’ll be so so quiet while getting ready and then wld leave with a little kiss on ur head and wld text u immediately after leaving the house to say he’s left and good morning and he loves u :( but if ur able to spend a morning together it’s usually relatively slow. neither of u are morning people so it’s usually quiet, sharing soft kisses and muttered “good mornings” while still tangled in the sheets bc u always take forever to finally get up. when u do u brush ur teeth and everything in silence, jude occasionally squeezing ur hip or nudging u softly in a little loving way. making breakfast together and he’s behind u, arms around ur waist to cuddle into u while u talk quietly abt what ur gna do that day. it generally is just slow and loving and quiet but that’s how u like it

N = Nights (how are nights spent with them?)

SNUGGLES!!!!! nighttime routine together first tho, whether that be showering together or wtv and then doing ur skincare (forcing him to do the same as u bc u wna keep his skin beautiful) before getting ready for bed. he always always puts ur pjs in the dryer while ur doing ur skincare bc he knows u like them to be warm. either snuggling on the sofa w blankets or in bed to catch up on a show ur watching together and he’s got u tucked up against his side, head on his chest and he’s stroking ur arm and ur head and soothing u to sleep. it’s always so slow and soft bc usually u don’t get a lot of time together during the day so nighttime is for the two of u just to relax and bask in each other’s company

O = Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves?)

i feel like it’d take a bit of time at first, not like loads but he’d definitely be a little hesitant at first revealing certain things bc he’s still so unsure if he can trust girls given his fame :( but from the very start you’d make it clear u aren’t interested in any of that and it wldnt take him long to realise and he’d trust u a lot more than he does a lot of people even early on. he’d like u so much from the very first meeting so as soon as he’d figured out he could really trust u he’d have no problems spilling things abt himself, even the most embarrassing of his secrets

P = Parents (do their parents like you?)

oh god yes. like more than they like him and jobe. u and his mam are practically best friends and u always do things w her without jude. always shopping and going out for meals or going to spas and she’s always calling and texting to see if ur okay and jude’s always like??? “hello i’m here too” and she’d just brush him off bc ofc he is but she needs to know how ur feeling today. being just as close to his dad and u and him always bullying jude bc he’s always showing u old baby pics that u can use against ur boyfriend

Q = Quizzes (how much would they remember about their partner?)

every. single. thing. from the very first time u spoke to each other bc he’s been down bad ever since. like remembers things u told him on ur first date and ur like??? how is that even possible. always remembers if u say u like something, even in passing, and then wld get that thing for u and wld act so casual abt it but it means the absolute world to u. being at dinner w friends and they’re offering drinks/food and before u even know what’s going on he’s all “no she doesn’t like that, she’ll have ___ tho” and it’s the exact thing u wld’ve chosen and it makes u all giddy inside how well he knows u

R = Remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

the first time u went to one of his matches. he remembers being so nervous at first to have u there, tucked in w his family, bc he wanted to impress u and wanted u to see how good he was (as if u didn’t already know🙄). but the second he spotted u he was so giddy, grinning so bright and just wanting to kiss u silly bc u looked so pretty in his shirt. you’d told him that morning that u knew he was gna score bc u could feel it, joking u were a good luck charm and he did score dedicating the goal to u and feeling so happy abt how shy u looked when he pointed ur way. after the match he’d gone and pulled u into a hug and kissed u like he’d been wanting to all match and he’ll never forget ur smile and all the praise u threw his way. u did that after every match following, no matter the outcome, always telling him how proud u are but nothing wld beat that first time

S = Sad (how do they like to be comforted?)

loves back and head scratches :)) if he’s feeling down he doesn’t even really need to tell u bc u can just tell, letting him know he can talk when he’s ready while coaxing him into bed or onto the sofa. he likes when u let him lay on top of u, face tucked away in ur neck ur while u gently graze ur nails over his back and shoulders or over his head :( like i said early he’s good at talking abt his feelings so after a while he’ll eventually tell u what’s wrong bc he knows how good u are at giving him advice or just cheering him up a little bit he won’t move from that position even while ur talking so you’ll spend a good chunk of time just slowly rubbing over his skin until he’s ready to move

T = Try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he deserves a medal for how much effort he puts into the relationship. even tho he’s a busy boy he still makes sure he’s treating u right. dates are always planned to perfection no matter what they are. he always goes all out on anniversaries and bdays, books time away to ur favourite places as a surprise and buys u the sweetest gifts, often new pieces of jewellery bc he just likes spoiling u. even just day to day he’s so attentive and sweet. leaves little notes on the mirror or fridge if he leaves for training before ur awake, gets ur coffee and breakfast ready so u don’t have to rush when u do wake up. will sometimes bring home ur favourite snacks or something if he’s passed a shop bc he knows the thought alone will make u smile

U = Ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he’s a boy and is sooooo messy and doesn’t clean up after himself. definitely leads to arguments when he leaves dishes out or leaves his clothes all over the floor. but then he’ll just flash u that charming smile and give u a kiss and a sickly sweet apology

V = Value (how valuable is your relationship to them? is it a top priority?)

absolutely it’s a top priority. he knows he’s busy and his career means ur apart a lot and he knows that can be difficult but he never lets u think he’s putting that before u. he puts so much effort into making sure u know he loves and appreciates u even if u haven’t seen each other in a while and he’s always inviting u to events and matches so he can keep up w his career and while not neglecting u or ur relationship. if you’ve been apart for a while bc of matches he’ll make sure that as soon as he’s free again u have all his time even if that’s just spending the day at home together

W = Wedding (do they see themselves marrying you?)

yes 100%. he thinks abt it all the time. probably more than u (he’s a massive romantic okay idc). he’s definitely talked to urs and his parents abt it, urs more so in passing as tho looking for approval (which he was given immediately) but w his mam especially he’s talked abt it a lot. he’s looked at rings online a couple of times trying to find which ones he thinks u wld like the most and you’d already told him ur dream destination and he’s looked into it. he’s more than ready for when the time actually comes and ur both ready for the next step. BUT i feel like he’d wna have kids first bc he wants to see them as little flower girls/page boys like nothing wld make him happier than marrying u and having ur children there to see

X = Xylophone (what’s your song?)

mardy bum by arctic monkeys. jude’s always teasing u abt how moody u are sometimes (especially on ur period) and whenever u get in a real mood w him he’d gotten into the habit of playing that song or singing it to u and most of the time it’ll make u laugh, usually bc his singing is so awful. he likes singing it really loud with u in the kitchen even when ur not in a mood, spinning u and dipping u until ur both giggling and almost falling over. mardy bum is also one of his nicknames for u bc of ur love for the song

Y = Yearning (how do they act when they miss you?)

calls and texts u constantly. i’m talking bombards ur phone until u answer and it’ll be w the most pointless messages but u adore it bc u love knowing he’s thinking abt u. he’ll send u updates on what he’s doing, what he’s eaten, pics of things that remind him of u, memes, tiktoks, random “i love u. i miss u” texts. also always asks if u can fall asleep on facetime together sometimes bc he doesn’t wna stop talking to u :( like he really is a big softie. definitely sends u lots of flowers when ur apart w cute little notes attached like “these r pretty and they reminded me of u” he turns into the biggest mush when he misses u

Z = ZZZ (how do they like to sleep)

loves spooning!!!! either big or little he doesn’t care. prefers little spoon after a bad match/bad day bc he likes u to hold him and he always feels safe and loved like that :( but also loves to be big spoon so he can just wrap himself around u and hold u tight, always gives u little shoulder kisses like this while he tells u goodnight. moves abt a lot in his sleep tho so youse never wake up like that the next morning. but he also likes falling asleep w his head on ur chest!! locks his leg around urs and snuggles against ur boobs and asks u to stroke his back or scratch his head and he’ll fall asleep almost immediately bc ur so comforting and cosy to him

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

[circyexistforcontent]

I saw that you're accepting requests. Would it be okay if I ask for a SAGAU with Alhaitham teaching a reader about the Akasha Terminals?

SAGAU AL-HAITHAM BLURB + EXTRA KAVEH HEADCANONS

❀ synopsis: what the hell is an Akasha System?

❀ notes: I'M SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR SO LONG-

Depending on the date and time, Al-Haitham will be willing to teach you about the Akasha system and how it works. He will even use his own Akasha terminal as an example to help you understand it better. He would be a bit surprised if you ask him to teach you since, y'know, you're the Primordial one, anyone would assume you have all the knowledge of Teyvat. But since you asked nicely and he has the time he will teach you.

"Wait, it can give you the wrong information?" "Yes, that is possible." "But how?"

If you're like me who hasn't made it to the Sumeru Archon quest you will have a hard time understanding how it works. And because of that, Al-Haitham will recommend some books about the Akasha Terminals. It can range from their history to their legal terms and conditions if you are to ever own one. And if we're talking about Yandere SAGAU Al-Haitham he will use this to his advantage so he can monopolize your attention. Arranging meet-ups so that he can test you about what you've learned in the books.

In those "tests," he will become one of those teachers who will ask you questions about topics you never studied for. And then he will scold you about not studying harder and that these study sessions are going to be scheduled more frequently. If this also includes my paperwork concept in SAGAU then you might possibly disintegrate right then and there just by the mere thought of filling your schedule up even more.

Both Non-yandere and Yandere Al-Haitham won't treat you any differently just because of your title and species as a God. He does have a certain respect for you if you play your role well, but that's it. Yandere SAGAU Al-Haitham will see your status as a hindrance to your future together so he looks for alternatives. He would just try to win your favor by giving you a sense of normality whenever you're around him. It's already in his personality that he treats everyone the same, and by being greeted and treated by everyone like your God (which, in a way you kinda are??) you will grow to appreciate Al-Haitham's indifference to your title.

Yandere SAGAU Al-Haitham is greedy with his time alone with you, so he will do his best to hide the fact that you visit him from everyone in the Akademiya, hell he will hide it from everyone who lives in Sumeru. The moment someone finds out he has connections to the Almighty God? Non-stop pestering from the Paparazzi will be the result of it.

With that being said, his main threat in this situation is Kaveh.

It's not surprising to know that Kaveh is one of your more fanatic worshippers. Whenever there is a Charity hosted by you he makes it his goal to be your top donator, most of the time he doesn't because *cough* the Fatui *cough* TARTAGLIA *cough* But he ends up as one of the highest donators. Aside from donating he also dreams of being your head Architect and working alongside you. Knowing that Al-Haitham has been talking to you behind his back will definitely make him burst a blood vessel.

The argument will be heated, the apartment will be wrecked, and there will just be a lot of bad blood between the two now that you are involved. Al-Haitham thinks that Kaveh's image of you is idealistic and he doesn't see the real version of you, while Kaveh thinks that Al-Haitham is being selfish about your time and that it's not fair that he has you all to himself.

The moment Kaveh finds out about the unfair test and study sessions Al-Haitham offers to you Kaveh will propose to be your second tutor, which Al-Haitham will strive to take down. If you ever agreed Kaveh will be overjoyed while Al-Haitham will be distraught. You already have him as your tutor, why do you need him?

Pro tip if you're ever in a SAGAU scenario: Don't visit Sumeru. Just don't.

[queer-reader-07]

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

--

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

--

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

[maniculum]

Do you have any books or sources for learning Olde English? I want to write a medieval-based story but I don't know how to write the characters speak the language.

That depends -- when you say "Olde English" do you mean Old English, like pre-1066 English? That's pretty far from modern English and it's unlikely that readers will be able to understand it easily. If that's what you're looking for, the texts I was taught with are:

Bright's Anglo-Saxon Reader

Quirk's Old English Grammar

Sweet's Anglo-Saxon Reader

They're all from a while back -- and, as you can see, some use the now-deprecated term "Anglo-Saxon" -- so you can find older editions free in the public domain. More recent revised editions can generally be found in cheap paperback form. I believe there are some more modern textbooks that are quite good, but I haven't looked at them, and I don't know how affordable they are.

I have also consulted with Zoe (@meanderingmedievalist) on this, and she recommends Baker's Introduction to Old English, as well as the related resource Old English Aerobics:

The reason there are textbooks for this, though, is because you genuinely have to treat it as a foreign language. It's very different from modern English. As a sample, here's the beginning of Beowulf:

Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum þeodcyninga þrym gefrunon hu ða æþelingas      ellen fremedon. Oft Scyld Scefing      sceaþena þreatum monegum maegþum      meodosetla ofteah egsode eorle syððan aerest wearð feasceaft funden he þæs frofre gebad weox under wolcnum weorðmyndum þah oð þæt him aeghwylc þara ymbsittendra ofer hronrade      hyran scolde, gomban gyldan      þæt wæs god cyning.

So if you put a lot of it into a story for a modern audience, most of them will be a bit lost.

If when you say "Olde English" you mean "English that sounds archaic and medieval, but is comprehensible to a modern audience", you're probably looking for Middle English.

I don't have any direct references for learning the language there, as I was mostly taught through immersion (i.e., here's a Middle English text, read and translate it, now do another until you get a feel for it), but Zoe recommends Fulk's Introduction to Middle English, so that's a good bet if you don't want to go through that process.

However, I do think the "just read the texts" method also works fine -- especially since, if you're writing a medieval story, you'll want to read some of the literature anyway for inspiration. Here's what you can do to use that method outside of a classroom setting:

Step One: Get a Middle English text with a facing-page translation. Armitage's edition of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is good for this. Read the Middle English text, referring to the Modern English translation on the facing page whenever you don't understand it. Do this with a pencil in hand, so you can annotate the text with definitions, translations, and notes about how the sentences work.

Step Two: Get a Middle English text for which modern translations exist. Don't get the modern translation. The Canterbury Tales works for this: it's a classic and you should be able to pick up a copy anywhere. The version on my shelves is Baugh's Chaucer's Major Poetry -- which is heavily footnoted with definitions, potentially saving some time with the dictionary -- but it doesn't really matter as long as it's in the original. Read it. Every time you don't know a word, look it up in the Middle English Dictionary (available free online, in searchable form, here) and write it down. Again, best to annotate directly on the page with a pencil. Trust me, it helps to do it that way. Once you're done, get a modern translation and check your work.

At this point, you'll probably have picked up enough of the language that you should be able to write in it to some degree, though you'll want to continue making reference to the Middle English Dictionary to make sure you're employing period-appropriate usage and spelling. If you have access to the Oxford English Dictionary (if you're at a university, you almost certainly do, otherwise check with your local library), use that to check when the words you're using originated -- the OED has that listed, and that'll keep you from accidentally dropping an 18th-century term into medieval dialogue. You can also use their Historical Thesaurus to find period-appropriate equivalents for terminology.

Optional Step Three: Keep reading more Middle English literature with the dictionary open, annotating as you go, to get additional practice. If you can get through Le Morte Darthur in the original (get the P.J.C. Field edition), I think you'll be set in terms of "writing convincing medieval prose". Not because it's particularly difficult -- it's late medieval, so the language is actually more modern than either of the texts mentioned in steps one and two -- but just because it's long, so you'll get a lot of practice working through it. As a bonus, reading Malory will familiarize you with lots of good knightly vocabulary in case that's the kind of story you want to write.

Optional Step Four: Read scholarly articles on Middle English language and literature to get a more in-depth understanding. Again, check with your local library, or if you're at a university, a university library will have a vast amount of resources on this subject you can browse through.

[darklinaforever]

I don't understand the problem people have with rewrites of Dracula that humanize him. Yes, Dracula in the original book is a pure representation of evil. But like Carmilla he is a fictional and almost mythological figure at this stage who evolves with the times. The myth of the vampire has changed, so it is logical that Dracula himself follows this model. The book will still exist, so what's the problem ? The same goes for offering him a romance, whether or not it is with a rewriting of the character of Mina or an another invented female character, or sometimes a woman linked to the Van helsing lineage, or even Van helsing changed directly into a woman !

Even Jonathan himself for exemple in order to explore a homosexuality or bisexuality in the story of Dracula ! Strangely I always see fewer people revolting when Jonathan is placed as a romantic interest. I totally see where that's coming from, but the fact is that their relationship isn't good in the original material either.

As for the problem of Mina, a strong female character, apparently having her strong characteristics erased when she is made Dracula's lover... I don't agree.

After all, it all depends on how the thing is done. Yes, the Mina from the 1992 film is not the one from the book (which is far from being a flawless representation of a strong woman... Yes, for the time when the book was released, it works, but in our time modern era, there are flaws apparently, as with most works dating back a certain number of years), but she still remains a strong female character in her own way and morally ambiguous in this adaptation. It's just a different version. I particularly liked the version of Mina in the canceled series of 2013. These 3 versions of Mina are all strong women on different levels.

Don't make me say what I didn't say. I love the original version of Dracula, and I really hope one day to have a more or less faithful adaptation, but the rewritings of the characters of Dracula and Mina are not to be demonized. I also think that we will surely continue in the future to have versions where Mina and Dracula are associated together as lovers, as other times not. Maybe one day we'll even have a version with Dracula and Jonathan officially partnered as lovers. Who knows ? And everything will simply depend on the writing of the characters. On the other hand, yes, I am a little exasperated by the tendency to make Jonathan a character either bland or an asshole in certain adaptations. Give me the adorable Harker from the book for a change please... Anyway, these are my thoughts on the various adaptations of the Dracula myth !

[lopposting]

On the "original" korean script

its pretty certain that LoP has been a smash hit, i really hope they go back and do a korean dub

I REALLY WANT TO SHARE THIS. i fell down the translation rabbit hole after looking for a specific translated version of pinocchio

so, Carlo is way franker in the original korean version.

taking this really important line in the game. In english, the line was translated to

"I don't care if an old man like that kicks the bucket!"

I feel like it's way harsher in the korean version. in korean it was

"그깟 늙은이, 죽어도 상관 안 해"

which to me is more like "That old geezer, he can die for all I care." (literal translation would be like.. "That oldie, don't care even if he dies") In korean it's not so much a one to one translation as it is different conjugations and grammar depending on respect and the speaker. he doesn't literally call him an "old shit" but "그깟 늙은이" is let's say, carlo being very flippant

(if there are any korean speakers, yall are probably better than me, if you can refute or confirm this plz lmk)!!

ALSO: I went and I checked the Riddler's phone calls and they do also rhyme in korean!!? imagine adapting all that!! That is such the translation feat!!

more translation notes:

Geppetto: In my own way, I grew to love you. After all, you're the puppet that would bring my son back to life.

The line in korean strikes me as more tragic.

"하지만 알아 다오, 나는 너도 사랑했단다. 내 아들 카를로를 되살려줄 인형으로"

eng (interpretation mine +google translate):

"But know this, I loved you too. You're the doll that would bring my son Carlo back to life."

(or save my son Carlo) confirming that geppetto did love Pino. just not enough.

그래도 부모는 자식을 기다려 주게 마련이지. 너같이 매를들어야 할 말썽꾸러기라도 말이다.

"Still, parents are bound to wait for their children. Even if it’s a troublemaker like you who deserves a beating."

in the english version, it was:

"Still, a father always looks after his children. Even naughty ones like you who deserve to be punished."

I think the english localization team took their own interpretation to adapt the story which is really cool to see. Like Geppetto keeps calling us his "good boy", there's no real equivalent to that in korean perhaps, but it's infantilizing and uncomfortable to an english audience (Pino may be young, but he's still a far cry from what we would call a "child"). plus there's that added BioShock inference for good measure

네 자유는 널 위한 게 아니다, 인형! Your freedom is not for you, puppet! (no mention of carlo)

in the english release, it was

Your freedom is not for you, but for Carlo!

interestingly, there is no mention of carlo in the korean version at some points where the english version mentions him, and sometimes Carlo is mentioned in the korean lines when the english version omits this. [edit note: it may have been because of test players comprehension of who exactly carlo was at this point in this story]

also, there is no difference between "doll" and "puppet" in korean as it is in english (as far as I know), and they use the word 인형 in the game where it was translated to "puppet" (when it would be generally translated to "doll"). In english, a "doll" indicates a toy generally for young children, while a puppet denotes a figure or figurine that is manipulated by a puppeteer. I really like that, it makes the setting even more story-book like

another note, carlo calling geppetto "old-ass" suggests that geppetto had him in his old age. In english "old man" is often an affectionate term for your father, so there's a difference there. in korean, i think carlo is simply insulting him LOL

[last of all, this is all just assuming that the script was originally in korean to begin with. ]

[gnomeniche]

my most controversial dhmis opinion is that both versions of yellow guy are not two different characters but the same person. “but he can talk to himself through the mirror” that’s just a Thing He Can Do bc their world runs on cartoon logic + it could be a way to represent his introspection.

“what about the different personality traits” see, i don’t think charged/uncharged yellow guy HAVE different personality traits? like people say that charged yellow is less emotionally intelligent, but he doesn’t have trouble reading his friends’ reactions and he still clearly holds the same love for them (bc he tries to bring the book back) and compassion for others (bc he reacts with horror to the big/bigger boys) as uncharged yellow. and he’s still sweet and trusting (when he asks lesley “promise?” it breaks my fucking heart)

it’s just that now that he can process things better he recognizes that his friends are not actually more mature than him and he doesn’t need to constantly try and please them. like sure he does not respond to their distress with his new state but to be fair they were being assholes about it, and he does have a hard conversation with himself abt his doubts vs his joy.

like to me charged yellow is just the same old yellow, just with the tools he needs to help him process his circumstances better. i know he seems unfamiliar, but yellow’s always been thoughtful, intellectually curious, and fairly firm with his boundaries (at least when he’s certain about things, which is dependent on how much he’s been able to process his situation) even in his low battery state.

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

I'm having a déjà-vu that I've already posted about Yuuri's inner monologue at the beginning of episode 3 when he agonises about the stakes the Onsen on Ice has for him, but it's so hilarious that I need to pick it up again.

What cracks me up is that right after explaining that Viktor will return to Russia if Yurio wins, Yuuri goes like, "If I win, Viktor will stay in Japan and be my coach." But Yuuri doesn't think of Viktor skating in Ice Castle or accompanying him during his workout—no, he thinks of Viktor flirting with him on his first night in Hasetsu.

Yes, you've read that right: While Yuuri explains what is at stake for him at the Onsen on Ice, he thinks of Viktor flirting with him.

Note also the warm colours and the blurred lines of the image that add an atmosphere of nostalgia to the scene, like a memory Yuuri holds dear...

...compared to the actual scene in episode 2:

Seems like Yuuri isn't that opposed to Viktor's courtship endeavours, right?

Which leads me to the question: Is there anything else Yuuri wants Viktor to teach him except figure skating?

At this point, Yuuri is far from understanding sexual desire (that will come along with the discovery his Eros over the course of the story). He is also still far from being romantically interested in Viktor. To him, Viktor is a god-like creature he admires and has a crush on since he was 12, an fellow skater Yuuri copied over and over because he secretly craves to become his equal. And that is absolutely enough to be flustered when Viktor becomes flirty, even if the poor boy has no idea how to respond. (for clarification: crush, i.e. superficial fancy ≠ being in love, i.e. butterflies, wanting to date the other person, I had people trying to split hairs over this, no kidding)

Yuuri has been obsessed with Viktor throughout puberty and his entire adult life. That's long enough to have a whole library of fanboy fantasies in his brain. I believe that Viktor becoming his coach is a dream that formed in Yuuri long before the fateful banquet where he made Viktor crush on him. And what would be a better way to catch up to your idol than having said idol teach you? Where this fantasy is, there are bound to be others. After all, fantasies are a safe space, untethered from reality in the sense that the unhinged things Yuuri and Viktor would do in these are entirely decoupled from the things Yuuri would want from the real Viktor at some point in his existence because that fictional Viktor would be an abstract entity to project his fantasies upon, an ooc version of the real Viktor, and the fictional Yuuri would be an ooc version of the real Yuuri (I'm no longer talking about coaching figure skating. I'm talking about "Viktor-sensei, please teach me how to kiss!", or maybe even "Viktor-sensei, I want to do unspeakable things to you, please teach me how!", depending on how you headcanon Yuuri to act when he gets horny)

Yuuri's desire to emulate Viktor (and not necessarily being able to tell this apart from have Viktor around—yes, these two can be intertwined, and there are many hints in YOI that this is the case for Viktuuri), describes a characteristic of same-sex relationships that are depicted in other pieces of media, e.g. Bourne's Swan Lake or the novel Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman (I'd like to point you to that wonderful quote from this book).

I've digressed. My point is that Yuuri has still a long way to go until he figures out his feelings for Viktor. But this scene strongly suggests that he wants more from Viktor than keep on winning and keep on eating katsudon together, even though he might not yet be aware of the full extent of his wish.

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3 (link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 6: Ferdinand/Dorothea)

(Normal): Thanks but no thanks, Mr. Noble. I already have my heart set on someone else. (Ferdinand & Dorothea support level B reached): I suppose I can settle for you just this once, Ferdie.

The writers obviously put a lot of love into this ship, as it's one of the rare times that the main story dialogue changes depending on Support level between two characters. Plus, since he asks her out on a date outside of their Support chain, it shows that Ferdinand is canonically interested in Dorothea. And this is true in Hopes as well. He fears his mind will "wander to other things" while training with her.

Dorothea: Song and dance live on in our memories, but there's no real record of them. Even memories fade over time. Will anyone remember me when I'm gone?

Dorothea is a Libra, an air sign. Air signs are masculine, but not as much as the fire signs. Libras are extroverted, cozy, and friendly people. Libras, like the Scales that symbolize the sign, are often concerned with attaining balance, harmony, peace, and justice in the world. Dorothea had the motivation to join Edelgard's cause to dismantle the corrupt nobility. But she was also compassionate and hated the idea of fighting people she knew.

Ferdinand: I will do what I'm called to do, even if no mark of me remains in the history books.

Ferdinand bears the Crest of Cichol, which is associated with the Justice Arcana. Justice is a signifier of legal matters being resolved in a fair and balanced manner. It represents the power to distinguish between what is fair and what is unfair, in an impartial way. Ferdinand's dream was to lead the Empire to an age of enlightenment and hold his father accountable for his crimes. The downside to his ambitions was that his life revolved around being recognized for his achievements.

Ferdinand: That is true nobility! Acting in accordance with the people's needs and wishes. As war drags on, those living near the front lines inevitably get the worst of it. Still…Edelgard will not give in. She will push to complete her mission, no matter how many people die. Not everyone with noble blood has noble ideals.

His character arc was about exemplifying true nobility, defined as, "having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals." Not just being noble, defined as, "belonging to a hereditary class with high social or political status." And I would argue that opposing Edelgard was vital to his character arc.

Dorothea: Oh, Ferdie. You opposed Edie for so long… I had real hopes for you, you know? Now you're following her. Is that your duty as a noble? Follow your master when they say to heel? Ferdinand: I will not try to explain my duty or hers. You would not understand. I wish you could.

Dorothea is one of the few non-lord characters that will actually react to another non-lord character's death. If you don't recruit Ferdinand, he will die at the Great Bridge of Myrddin so that his name goes down in history as "the legendary Ferdinand of Adrestia".

If Ferdinand does not complete his arc, Dorothea will be the one who is most disappointed. She will say she had high hopes for him, a reference to their B-Support where he made her treats, and she reconsidered him as husband material. His memory will not live on in the history books, but it does live on in her heart. It was hard not to think of this pairing as "canon" after I saw this dialogue.

Dorothea: Though we only knew each other briefly back at the academy, you were still my friend—but now our paths have diverged forever.

There's even a Hopes version of this dialogue available in Record Keeper. Similar to Edelgard and Byleth in Silver Snow, if Ferdinand and Dorothea's paths diverge, it is treated as a great tragedy of fate. It shows how much the writers favored this particular ship.

(Normal): Yes… I have met someone quite charming recently. I'm hoping we can spend more time together soon. (Dorothea has reached Support Rank A with a male): I am. There is someone whose company I have come to enjoy.

While Dorothea is bisexual, she did seem to have a preference for men. The dialogue in her B-Support with Edelgard only changes if Dorothea has attained A-Support with a male character.

Linhardt: You've probably overcome a lot of tough times, haven't you? I think that's incredible, really, but why not just let go of the suffering and run away from the memories that cause you pain? I suspect you'll find it a better way of living. I know I do. Dorothea: That's not living, Lin. It's running away. If I leave my hardships behind, then all of that means nothing.

She only got into the academy by buttering up some noble, which suggests that she may have had to perform sexual favors. She had a poor self-image, despite her physical beauty. And that is why I think she pursued men so adamantly, even when she was not truly attracted to them. She was running away from her past.

Dorothea: What's important isn't how someone looks, it's their true nature. I don't pretend to know your true nature. I don't even have a very good understanding of my own. But I suppose you see mine just fine, don't you? Just a silly girl with no thoughts in her head except for marrying a noble, yes? Good-bye, Felix.

Dorothea had to hone her masculine energy while living on the streets and performing in the opera. She despised the goddess (although she has a hidden talent for faith). Her paralogue with Ingrid showed how the two had contrasting views on marriage. Dorothea wanted to play the traditionally feminine role of housewife, with a noble husband fulfilling the traditional masculine role of provider and protector.

Dorothea: But if you and I were devoted to one another… maybe we could strive for the future you believe in. Maybe I'd finally understand your path and be able to think about more than just myself. Hubert: Seems it's my turn to not understand. Did you just propose marriage as a way to get to know me?

She was always looking for a wealthy husband to take care of her into her old age, and often came across as nothing but a shallow gold-digger. Because she was afraid of living in poverty, she would settle for a nobleman regardless of whether or not she knew him very well or was actually in love with him.

Sylvain: You know, even when I was a kid, I never had trouble with girls. …But thinking about it now, I wonder what they liked about me back then. They didn't know everything about me… It's just confusing. Dorothea: Oh, where did that come from? No one can know everything about you.

She was at first dismissive of the idea that people need to know each other fully to get married. But she did commiserate with Sylvain about how people wanted to marry her without even knowing anything about her. However, she flirtatiously makes plans to grow old with him immediately afterwards. Even though they still barely knew each other.

Dorothea: I never had much to begin with in life, and I worry that one day, I'll be that way again… That's why I keep searching for someone who will love me. Someone unaware of the songstress, who can love a girl that used to be scared and alone on the streets of the capital… I wonder if such a strange person can even exist.

But what she really wanted was to spend her life with someone who did know her true self. Several of her endings depict her giving up on her goal of finding a rich husband. She is able to find love with Petra and Manuela and those are happy endings for her. But I still think the happiest ending for her is to find her dream man. A rich provider and protector who would know and love her as the scared orphan girl.

Dorothea: Oh, really? You're something different? That's not how I remember things… It was the very day that I was discovered…

I think Ferdinand offered the best closure to her character arc. There was a palpable sexual tension between them in both games, with Dorothea pushing him away yet secretly desiring to be closer. I'd argue she has more far chemistry with him than any of her other potential partners. At the academy, Dorothea did not flirt or make advances on Ferdie, despite him being the exact type of wealthy noble she was after. But in the end, she was more open, honest, and emotionally vulnerable with him than she was with anyone else.

Dorothea: Maybe I can believe you. I've wanted to ever since the day you made me those treats… I thought then that maybe you weren't like the others, but… There's a lot I have to let go of, Ferdie.

The tagline for the game was, "Sweet memories twisted by time's cruel hand". By getting closure with Ferdinand, Dorothea could reclaim a sweet memory and let go of some pain from her past. Ferdie considered Edelgard his rival and prided himself on being better than her. But with Dorothea, he said he wouldn't mind a life of being a simple drone, circling a queen. So, they both find a new way to live with each other. This pairing is a more wholesome alternative for Ferdie than Ferdibert. But Ferdie still is kind of a sub.

Ferdinand & Dorothea Ferdinand reclaimed the position of Duke Aegir and initiated reforms within his domain. Through his political methods, which closely aligned with the needs of the common people, the Aegir Duchy swiftly underwent reconstruction. Behind this success story was the significant contribution of Dorothea, the former songstress who became the Duchess, who dedicated herself to serving the commoners. Ferdinand, recognized for his achievements, was entrusted with governance across all of Fódlan. Despite being busy with his duties, he prioritized spending time with his family. He and Dorothea raised their children together, and their home was always filled with the sound of cheerful singing.

This feels like the picture-perfect ending for both of them. Dorothea achieves her life plan of marrying a rich provider and protector, overcoming her prejudice towards nobles. Her children carry on her legacy, and her memory will live on in their hearts.

And thanks to her experiences as an orphan, Ferdinand's policies benefit the commonfolk. He actually renounced his nobility and lived as a wanderer for five years because he did not believe in Edelgard's ideals, and he wanted to make up for his father's wrongdoings in his own way. He was prepared to leave no mark on history, but he is recognized for his achievements in the end.

[ladyvillainous]

Eric Coulter NSFW Alphabet

Was tidying up some of my WIP folders and stumbled across this so here have another alphabet. This may be a little out of character for some fans, but it's consistent with my version of his character from my full length fic on Wattpad and the imagines on here.

A Aftercare

(What they’re like after sex)

He's usually quite quick to fall asleep if you're getting down and dirty in your own bed, he'll pull you into his arms and drift off quite contentedly. If you're grabbing a quickie in between meetings or tasks he'll pull out, tidy himself up and be on his way. Leaving you a quivering mess with nothing more than a quick kiss and a self-satisfied grin on his face

B Body part

(Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Eric's pretty happy with his entire body having worked very hard to get in the shape he has, but if he had to pick, he'd say his arms and hands. If pressed he'd say it's because he can choke someone out just by wrapping his arm around their neck or do some serious damage with his fists. Privately he also likes how willingly you climb into his arms, sighing when he wraps you in his arms, he likes that you feel safe with him despite how brutal and violent he can be. I also think Eric would be a breast man, liking a good handful but nothing comically large. If he's had a hard day, he likes nothing more than to pull you into his lap and bury his face in your chest.

C Cum

(Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Like most men he hates condoms and would much prefer to just cum inside you which is why he's so very grateful for the Dauntless standard issue birth control. While he doesn't actually want kids, he does have a slight breeding kink in that he loves to fill you up and imagine what it would be like if you were to get pregnant though he barely admits that to himself let alone you.

D Dirty Secret

(Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Eric's very dominant clearly and that translates to the bedroom as well but at the same time he gravitates towards a partner that would give as good as they got, this means sex is a constant powerplay between the two of you. He's never told you but sometimes he lets you win when he's in the mood to be dominated. He's even fantasised about you tying him up when he masturbates but has never actually voiced it because it rubs right up against his control issues.

E Experience

(How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's good looking and well-built and before Dauntless he was just your standard cocky arrogant Erudite, which didn't bother any of the girls of his previous faction so yes lots of experience. At Dauntless he's carefully cultivated a menacing scary reputation; it tends to attract the more extreme dauntless women, but his apparent lack of interest has them moving on quickly. It's also widely known that the two of you are together and while you're less prone to physical violence than Eric everyone knows not to mess with your man if they want to live to tell the tale. In terms of prowess Eric wants to be the best at everything so he will have practised and read books and practised some more, the man knows what he's doing.

F Favourite Position

 (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He doesn't have a favourite position because he wants them all, his moods change so quickly you regularly get whiplash so he's constantly changing things up depending on his and your mood. If you're both pent up after a hard day he might just taking you against the wall of your shower, or maybe he gets up in the morning to find you cooking breakfast in his T-shirt which you know will always end with him bending you over the counter roughly. While not usually one for public sex he's not adverse to a last night session on the mats in the training room after sparring, who goes on top will always be determined by who won the fight. 

G Goofy

(Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He definitely likes to tease you but he's never goofy, usually very serious and focused on making you both feel good.

H Hair

(How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Neat and tidy but no excessive manscaping, he does have a grid style tattoo that matches the ones on his arms adorning his lower abdomen and dipping below the line of his boxers.

I Intimacy

(How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Eric is extremely passionate and focused when in the moment it's not traditionally romantic, but you can't help but getting swept away by his intensity.

J Jack Off

(Masturbation head canon)

Because you both work long tiring shifts and have to keep up your training you don't always have the energy to be intimate. When it's been more than a few days Eric finds other ways to alleviate his tension, but he always thinks of you when he does.

K Kink

(One or more of their kinks)

Slight contradictory and secret breeding kink given his view on kids. Known preference for dominance with an occasional switch which he thinks you don't notice but you do. Is slightly into bondage in that he likes to tie or handcuff you to your shared bed when he's feeling particularly dominant.

L Location

(Favourite places to do the do)

He'll happy get down wherever and whenever the two of you are in the mood, even semi-public if private enough. Particularly likes shower sex, something about the hot steamy water and your slippery wet skin really gets him going. Doesn't hurt that he has to pin you to the wall whatever position you opt for.

M Motivation

(What turns them on, gets them going)

His mood is a huge determining factor, if he's angry or frustrated or keyed up after sparring he knows the quickest way to burn that off and get control of himself is to lose himself in you and you are usually more than happy to help. If he's tired and not in the mood initially wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts will change that fast. He's also more than happy to help you burn off any excess tension letting you use him as you need. You don't often get that worked up, but he can't help but get turned on when you stomp into your apartment in a towering temper, even more so when it’s directed at him strangely. 

N NO

(Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not opposed to rough play such as light choking, biting hard enough to leave a mark or just rough handling in general, leading to bruises but he'd never seriously hurt you during sex even if you asked him to. Firstly, he doesn't want to cause you any serious harm. Secondly, he'd doesn't want to push his scary reputation that far and his girlfriend walking around with any visible injuries not sustained in the ring would do exactly that. Lastly, he worries just what he might do even to you if he lost control.

O Oral

(Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He loves to go down on you the noises you make are so sexy he could listen to them all night and has once or twice, he's very talented with both his tongue and his fingers having long since perfected his technique. He's just as happy receiving, he doesn't think there's any view in the world better than you on your knees with your lips around him. 

P Pace

(Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

As with location his mood plays a major part so again, he changes it up, often the exact opposite to what you'd expect always keeping you guessing. Usually when he arrives home in a bad mood you can expect to get railed (happily) against the nearest wall. But on occasion he has dragged you into the bedroom tied you to your bed and proceeded to tease you mercilessly, slowly and sensually until you're begging for relief. He switches it up the other way too on a lazy day off you wake up expecting slow passionate morning sex, but instead he flips you over and pounds you into the mattress. Sometimes you swear he's doing it just to keep you on your toes and you'd be right.

Q Quickie

(Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

All depends on mood, time and opportunity but as a general rule he'll take you anyway he can get you luckily, you're in full agreement.

R Risk

(Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He definitely likes to experiment especially when you first got together, he wanted to know what you liked and what would get you to make those noises he loved to hear. He wanted to know exactly what he had to do to make you scream his name and forget your own.

S Stamina

(How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Eric's stamina is deceptive, on days on long physically draining days you'd expect him to be too tired but those are also the days when he can go all night and does. It's the long tedious days when he's been stuck in his office not doing anything physical that drain him the most. Those are usually the days he pulls you into his arms and falls straight to sleep.

T Toy

(Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Handcuffs and rope are a staple of a good sex life as far as he's concerned. He's used a few of the more exotic toys manufactured by Erudite in his time but found he got bored of them quickly, preferring to make use of his own hands in new and different ways. He'd be lowkey offended if a toy could be better than him anyway. 

U Unfair

(How much they like to tease)

When he's of a mood to tease you will be in agony, tears running down your face begging for relief before he'll give in, but those are also the most earth-shattering orgasms of your life, so you don't complain too loudly. You couldn't take it every day however so you're grateful it's more by exception than rule.

V Volume

(How loud they are, what sounds they make)

In the privacy of your apartment, he doesn't bother to control his volume but he's not overly loud or effusive anyway. The sounds he makes are usually more grunts of effort, and moans of pleasure than actually words, he's not one for dirty talk. 

W Wild Card

(Get a random head canon for the character of your choice)

I'm so bad with this question my mind always goes blank!

X X-Ray

(Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture, or words)

He's not comically pornstar large but he is above average in length and girth. Unusually for someone of his size he also knows how to use it to full effect rather than just resting on being a bit larger than average.

Y Yearning

(How high is their sex drive?)

Before you he masturbated every few days, more if he was frustrated or didn't have a girl of the month to play with. Now he has you it's not often you go more than a few days between sessions, both of you getting frustrated if it goes longer. It's noticeable to the people you work closest with, not that they'd ever dare say it to either of you, but they can tell when one of you has been sent on some task for a few days, leaving the other alone in the compound. They can also tell when the other returns because the following day you're both much more relaxed than usual.

Z ZZZ

(… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Eric gives you his all whether it's a long session or a quickie so if you're in bed and not due anywhere else you're both going to drift off wrapped in one another’s arms very quickly.

[nothinggold13]

On Peter and Violence

I think there’s two popular fanon camps regarding Peter Pevensie’s relationship with violence, and though there are certainly plenty of others who, like me, would disagree with both of them, it is those two versions of Peter that I keep seeing pop up again and again.

The first is that of the powerful, raging, warrior king: the version of Peter that speaks more to his mythologized persona within the books than the Peter we actually witness and interact with inside the narrative. His temper is hot, and his sword is fast, and his legacy is soaked in blood. It’s this Peter that lends itself so readily to the (equally fanon) idea that Edmund is the more diplomatic of the two.

The second is that of the pacifist. This idea of Peter is opposed to violence, and only fights under great duress, or because he has been given no other choice; it’s the version of his character that people have snatched from a deleted scene in the “Prince Caspian” film in which he claims he is “thinking about a career in medicine,” and in doing so, distances himself from the war back home. (Although, I would also blame the PC film for the angry, impulsive version of Peter who dominates too much of the fandom; that movie’s interpretation of him is a tragedy.)

Now, of the two, I would prefer the second. It’s at least marginally truer to the boy who “didn’t feel very brave” but did his duty in “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” and I appreciate that. However, I also have a personal vendetta against the extreme version of this viewpoint which prioritizes Peter’s peaceful nature over his dutiful courage, and this is why I’m writing out what I believe are the nuances of his character that sometimes get overlooked in favour of idolizing either his strength or his softness.

There is a statement in my mind to describe him that I avoid using, because I know it requires more context than I usually want to give, but here and now, we’ll call it my thesis: Peter prefers problems he can hit.

I don’t think Peter is a violent character. Genuinely, I don’t. And so I imagine those two statements seem pretty contradictory, because how can he not be violent, if violence is also the ideal solution to his problems?

Well, here’s the thing: Peter’s growing up in a war. Heck, he’s growing up in two.

He’s thirteen in the first book, and World War II is breaking out above him, and, more than that, there is nothing he can do about it. What could he do? He’s a kid.

And then, suddenly, he’s in a new world. They tell him he’s meant to be there. They give him a sword, and he takes it silently. They tell him he will be king.

We see him in his fight with the wolf: “Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do.” We are told there that violence is not something he takes to lightly; it is a matter of duty for him: to the country that stands behind him, and his sister who is in harm’s way.

He fights a battle. Years pass, and he fights more. He returns to the war he is powerless to fight against, and then finds himself King again, where he comes up with a plan to fight a duel which -- if everything had gone to plan -- would have put no one but himself at risk.

Yes, Peter is steeped in violence. C. S. Lewis tells us at the end of “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” that he is a “great warrior,” and when he is mentioned in “The Horse and His Boy,” it is said he’s off battling giants. He is High King, and as such, he has to be a soldier. He chooses to be a soldier. He consistently fights, especially so that others may not have to. He fights to protect. To shield. To provide freedom.

And then he goes back home, and is trapped under war again.

Depending on his birthday, Peter turns eighteen around the time of the end of World War II, meaning I have no reason to believe he ever fought within it; however, National Service continued after the war. And this is where I thought that Peter, ever being driven by duty, would sign up without question. It’s what would be expected of him. And, even more, it’s what he’s been doing for years for a country that isn’t his anymore; how could he not do the same for England?

(I put that in a fic. I had a scene where Peter, freshly eighteen, confessed to Susan he would still have to serve, and Susan said, “But not in the war, and I’m glad of that.” And then -- because it was what Peter did within canon time and time again -- I had him tell her, “But I hope you understand that I’d fight for you. For all of you. If my fighting had any chance of helping to keep you all safe, I would go.” ......And somebody told me that was out of character.)

I don’t mind if somebody really likes the idea of Peter becoming a doctor rather than a soldier. Truly, I understand the appeal. But I do have a problem when somebody tells me I’m wrong for believing Peter would continue to do what he had always canonically done after coming back to England.

Because Peter does have a relationship with violence. He doesn’t have a love for it, but he has been tangled in the necessity of it too many times not to follow through when it needs to be done.

And what happens when you raise a boy in war? What happens when you let him fight it? What happens when he learns the chain reaction: fight the battle, win the war, set them free? And then what happens when you put him into situations that can’t be solved with his hands? Give him enemies he can’t fight? Give him wars he can’t be a part of?

And that’s what I mean by “Peter prefers problems he can hit.”

Not that Peter rushes to violence when it isn’t called for, or that he craves war when he finds himself in peace, or anything else of that angry, vicious nature that some people have come to believe--- Gosh, I think Peter would far rather lay the sword down than ever have to pick it up again.

(But it’s what he does. Time after time.)

Peter is a big brother, ever looking after the others. Peter is the High King, ever doing what Narnia requires. Peter is the loyal servant, ever following Aslan’s instruction. Even if it scares him, it’s what he does.

So I don’t think he likes feeling helpless. I think he likes knowing what to do, and I think intangible problems drive him a little crazy, and I think a sword is a very physical thing that has served him well too many times.

Despite my very obvious complaints against “Prince Caspian’s” movie characterization here, I have to say that this is something I love about “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” Peter’s older in the film than he is in the book. He’s closer to going to war himself. And what do we see him do? We see him distracted by passing soldiers-- not much older than himself. We see him reading on the train: “Biggles Goes To War.” We see him consumed by the war, even up to the point that he mimics WWII battle strategies against the Witch’s army.

This is the Peter I’m talking about: the one who feels sick at violence, and shakes and cries and hugs his sisters when its done, and yet...... does it. Every time.

I feel like there’s a dozen things I may be missing, but I think that’s the gist: Peter’s an unwilling soldier who doesn’t know how to put down his sword.

He’s a great warrior, but not an indiscriminate one. He’s a gentle spirit, but not a passive one. Violence made him, but he is so much more than his violent acts. He’s complex. He’s dutiful. He’s faithful. He’s capable. He fights because he has to, and as long as it’s asked of him, he will continue to do it.

So that’s where I stand. That’s why I may seem to show contradictory versions of Peter throughout my fics and edits and commentary; why I may say he’s not violent and then paint an image of him that ties him to violence anyway.

Whether you disagree is your prerogative. This is, by nature, a nuance-based take, and while I do think there’s wrong interpretations of Peter Pevensie out there, I also believe that there is a lot of room within that nuance for various interpretations to be equally right. This isn’t me making an end-all-and-be-all analysis that everyone else must follow to the letter.

This is just me explaining -- for myself or for anyone else who cares to listen -- what I believe, and how it affects the things I create. <3 So there’s my take on Peter’s complicated relationship with violence: the way it coats him, and yet, doesn’t define him: the way he’s so softhearted, and yet not himself without it.

“For never since we four were Kings and Queens in Narnia have we set our hands to any high matter, as battles, quests, feats of arms, acts of justice, and the like, and then given over; but always what we have taken in hand, the same we have achieved." ~Peter [The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: Chapter XVII: The Hunting of the White Stag]

Disclaimer: none of this is anti-Aslan “look how he traumatized this poor boy” propaganda, and if that is your viewpoint, kindly do not interact with this post. :)