#it did the usual: pushed some het narratives ...

[dailybayonetta]

sorry, if im bothering you with this (you don't need to anwer if you don't want to), another one of these discourses about bayonetta i've seen with queerbaiting with bayojeanne and that one spoilers thing. do you agree it's an actual thing that happened?

Okay, so BIG SPOILERS AHEAD (metion of them, but not explicit) and lots of text ________

So let me start by saying, usually, as a gay person myself - I've been in this situation. When you clearly have a dynamic between friends of the same gender but it's written much more deeply and with the care and with the actual tropes that get used for het couples and filled with love (and that word gets thrown around, but like, we talking about any kind of love). That happens. But what also happens - is that writers / devs usually never confirm these. Fans and fandom do more job of putting lgbt rep into something that originally doesn't really have it or hidden in narrative (pushed, that also common with censoring) and then act like devs or writes or show runners own them something they invented. Again, it's a complex issue, because sometimes authors take time or have to push for relation ships (LoK / adventure time) and sometimes authors take credit for the ships fans popularised (that one supergirl show comes to mind???) However, in Bayojeanne cause, I can kind of see where people coming from because: a) Bayo herself is an ambiguous character, people been saying for ages that she's bi coded (i can't speak on that honestly) b) Kamiya called Bayonetta and Jeanne couple - not a pair, not duo, and compared them with other couples (that also semi-canon / canon)

c) a lot of promo material art, just as concept art depicted them in way that would couples would. especially couples that have "different side of the coin" dynamic and that complement each other some examples: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5

Fanservice? Sure. Still. A thing that did happened. d) the scenes they had were also common for couples, shots on the reaching hands (the recent one i can think about with cloud and tifa in ff7remake), bayonetta holding jeanne "bride" style, bayonetta holding jeanne when saving her soul (do i need to mention how later they did that scene in familliar way with luka and bayo but just without the kiss, riiiight) and like, i could go on, but you get the idea

d) And what I also think Bayojeanne isn't just that kind of ship that was "oh fans hyped it up and they never interacted in canon" or something. It's in the story. Again, maybe it wasn't explicit and writers probably didn't intended to be that way (maybe Kamiya did but looking at bayo3 who knows), because once again it's a common thing when writes do this type of dynamic and "oh, the bond is so strong" and that kind of thing has a right to exists, if it wasn't for the othert stuff i said about. Again, it's a complex idea and situation. And many things matter in the case. And I'm not a professional and not that type of person who cared about it in Bayonetta of all things. Does that falls under "queerbaiting"? Hell, if I know, because I never expected them somehow to get canon or anything (and if you go through my baoyjeanne tag you know I love them dearly), cause not only being a game from japanese devs but also that I know better now because I got baited enough in various media before. Can I blame people for thinking this was queerbaiting? No, I don't think I can. Especially because it's just bad for the script. What this implies of such strong and impowering fantasy character as Bayonetta is even worse. And like, Bay///o/lu//ka doesn't in any way erase Bayonetta's bi-coding or her being into Jeanne (afterall it's not the same Bayo and we got multiverses now🙄) but I think people are upset because it was executed reeeeeally poorly and untasteful for such character. And people saying it's kind of character assasination are right in a lot of ways. Hell idk why anyone skips the part that Luka also didn't got any development and got thrown in this mess as well. And also THAT PART. What happened with it - who knows what was even going on in the writing room of Platinum.

[izartn]

On ep6 of Alchemy of Souls and one thing is making me laugh is the way other charas are like:" ah yes. Jang Uk and his maid who follows him everywhere, they're inseparable. if u know what I mean ;]"

I swear everybody (except Seo Yul somewhat bc he is suspicious abt Naksu and hs noticed Jang Uk improvement and shaneaningans is related to her) (also danggu who thinks somehow Yul and Mudeok have been romancing), everybody except those two above thinks Mudeok is Uk lover.

I men they're trying to marry off Jang Uk to Jin Choyeon(?) (did I wrote that right?) and everybody is like. Oh, what is going to be of poor Mudeok, surely she would/wouldn't follow him into the marriage. The implication being that she's either so close that is unimaginable she's gonna be left behind or so close she surely wouldn't be in the sme house as Uk official spouse.

I'm hollering bc I think Naksu knows this and is playing along when it suits her, see; her combo with the crown prince. Also, Jang Uk wishes he could be that secure in being Naksu's, his jealousy is very funny which is a new one for me. Usually I detest when people use jealousy in the rom plot but as he does nothing but nag at Naksu "please let it be clear I'm your one and only student and like, don't let other guys close enough to your eyes, for security of course" is almost sad.

When has someone last had such high expectations of him?? And said the ugly things to his face but also didn't think he was lesser bc he was a bastard or incorregible?? I mean valid criticism (although Naksu does go hard on him lol) to make him improve, not just demoralize him. Of course he's afraid she'll go with Seo Yul who seems to have some kind of history with her and is powerful and respected, etc. So like. It makes sense why Jang Uk is clingy and gets jealous easy.

I get more annoyed by the way he can be so so avoidant of what he doesn't like, which leads him to be an asshole to Naksu after all the trouble he went to make her his master. (but also flawed charas, yay! and then naksu goes, oh this how you're gonna be?? what if it's live or death then, you idiot? gonna go do what you were avoiding and want to secretly do now, eh? she knows how to push his buttons so well XD)

Also love how when he flirts or is saying nonsense and Naksu will just. Not take it seriously and tease him about how nonserious it is lol XD She has no time for all those convoluted side romances you silly guy. Their most rom moments are also the more serious, less outwardly romantic, just, the way their goals align and they take risk for each other, or they have serious conversations for once.

I almost though for a bit in ep1 and 2 that Seo Yul would be the ML, and Jang Uk the one with the more developed non rom relationship everyone shipped more with Naksu, lol. I was almost fine with it??? Bc I care about character building a lot, and him and Naksu were so interesting from the start for me that I went, ah the old boring romance VS complicated platonic/rom not canon ship which the writers are too cowards to canonized.

Then I noticed our protag was a woman this time!!! (the above scenario is usually a boring het vs fanon slash ship lol) Watched ep3!!! And noticed too, that Jang Uk is the one with the heavy plot and narrative sharing with Naksu (to the point she's feeling a bit shadowed by his King Star deal thing. but generally I like how they're juggling the two protags style!!) who gets into problems for her and bc of her and viceversa, while Seo Yul is a tsuntsun who can't deal lol

Anyways I'm enjoying a lot Alchemy of Souls, although the plot and the worldbuilding are not anything extraordinary and fall a bit into "meh" for me sometimes, bc I love the charas and dynamics of our two protags!!

Can't wait for ep7 tonight.

[larrylimericks]

18Apr22

Our knickers got put in a twist At Rob’s clickbait disguised as a list; Pham’s pics—always blurry— Have focused fan fury; And Niji’s tour vibe will be missed.

[mindibindi]

Super genuine question, istg. I understand people wanting to see diversity in their shows. Hell, I want to see diversity in my shows. But is it so problematic when a show’s main cast happens to be all of a certain race or ethnicity (NOT the whole cast)? I’m not saying it should be that way (the more diversity the better) but I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem when a show’s main cast is of a single race or ethnicity, especially when the other people of different races or ethnicities are well-written. It’s just like… the particular lens we get into that world. Our initial lens into Ted Lasso is the rich white owner and the white Midwestern coaches she hires to tank the team. And then we expand and learn more about that world just as Ted does.

(If you don’t feel comfortable answering that’s fine, or if I’ve come off terribly that’s fine (who knows I might wake up and be shocked at what I’ve written); but please believe me when I say this is an honest, well-meaning, genuine question.)

Hey Anon, I'm SO sorry, it's taken me FOREVER to get to this. It's partially because I was injured around the time this ask came in and unable to type very well, and partially because this question required a properly thought-out response. This is a pretty complex topic but I'm going to do my best to keep it simple and succinct. That said, my research area is feminist studies, comic theory/humour studies and literary criticism. I did a bit of critical media/film studies back in undergrad but someone else more equipped may wish to jump in if they have something worthwhile to add.

The crux of your question, as I understand it, is about the centring of the white man in western narratives. Your wording – “a single race or ethnicity” – could include narratives that centre people of other races and/or ethnicities. For instance, is there something inherently problematic about an African American sitcom? The answer to this, quite simply, is no. There is not. The problem with this wording is that it assumes people of all races and ethnicities have had an equal opportunity to tell their stories in a truthful, uninhibited way and to be represented onscreen to an audience that includes a range of people from both inside and outside their cultural community. We know this isn't true. So when, for instance, a show like Pose comes along, that focuses on transgender women and queer folk of colour in a particular community and at a particular time in US culture, it is not a problem that their focus is so narrow because this is a perspective we have rarely seen represented. However, in the twenty-first century, when yet another show comes along that centres the white male experience then yes, that does deserve critical attention.

Here’s why.

1. The Male Creator

Your question focuses on race but intersectional feminism tells us that race cannot be separated from gender, sexuality, ability and class. So when we talk about the white male perspective what we are usually talking about is the white, het, able-bodied and -minded, cis man of at least moderate means. Let's call him the whac man for short. Once we put all these qualifiers on him, it becomes clear that the patriarchy only elevates and celebrates a very select group of men. Yet despite the fact that the whac man is technically (in terms of numbers) a minority, he has dominated western narratives for centuries, and even infiltrated and influenced narratives in other cultures.

Some would have you believe that this is because the whac man is so damn extraordinary. He's brilliant, heroic, inventive, ingenious. He pushes boundaries, breaks new ground. He has succeeded in “writing” the world, “writing” culture, “writing” history and all due solely to his inherent worth and hard-won merit, rather than any structural advantage afforded him at birth. And when I say “some would have you believe” I mean he would. The whac man writes culture with the loudest voice in the world. He disseminates his beliefs further than any other competing belief can possibly be broadcast. He is patriarchy’s chosen son, rightful heir. And since patriarchy creates the soup in which we all swim, I totally understand why someone might ask this question. Because it seems normal to us, it seems natural, it seems even fair that the whac man continue to cast himself as the ultimate culture-maker and the innate centre of humanity.

2. The Universal POV

By continually casting himself as the centre of humanity – i.e. “mankind” – the whac man has configured his point of view as the universal point of view. He has done this with the sheer mass of narratives that view the world through his eyes, as well as by preventing other narratives from being heard by any means, including stealing, censoring, limiting or discrediting them. What this means is that every single person raised in a western milieu, despite their gender, gender identity/expression, sexuality, ability and class, is indoctrinated into seeing the world through the whac man’s eyes. Whether we like it or not, we are instinctively sympathetic to it, biased based purely on its pervasive familiarity. We therefore become unconsciously complicit in the whac man’s objectification of women, his homophobia towards gay, bi and queer people and his intolerance towards anyone differently abled or non-binary presenting. We are told that this is the only way to see the world, the correct way, the natural way, the best way. Because the whac man is the intellectual pinnacle, the trustworthy ideal, the unassailable core of humanity so if we identify with him, we can claim some of his power and perfection.

Obviously, this is a fucking fallacy. Because we all instinctively know where we fall in the patriarchal power dynamic. If a whac man is the ideal human then a white woman is one step removed from this ideal. As is a black man, a gay man or a disabled man. The more qualifiers you add to your identity, the further away you are from full and ideal humanity. You become less important, less powerful, less heard and less human. It’s pretty easy to see this reflected in the make-up of the Ted Lasso cast. Ted, as the ultimate whac man, sits at the centre of this universe and even gives it his name. Surrounding him is Beard, Roy and Rebecca (despite her gender but because of her wealth). The next step removed from him would be Jamie, Keeley and Nate (due to his position but despite his skin colour). The other men and woman (singular) of colour only really exist on the periphery of Ted’s world, with their main role to serve the profundity of the whac man's narrative. Just as in the real world, they are less important, less powerful, less heard and less human. They are narratively marginalised and ultimately pretty replaceable.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Ted Lasso is single-handedly responsible for this dehumanising of everyone who isn't a whac man. This is an accumulative impact that’s occurred over centuries but one that has very real modern consequences. Narratives are powerful. They are how we make sense of the world and ourselves within it. And we have had centuries of narratives, with very little respite, that centre the whac man as a universal figure we can all identify with. If you have grown up with streaming services, you may not remember a time when 85% of narratives were led by a whac hero. Maybe 10% centred on women, 5% focused on people of colour.* And the LGBTQI+ experience literally did not exist, except in coding. Unfortunately, that 10% that centred women was generally watched by women. The 5% that centred people of colour was watched by people of colour. And that 85% that centred on the whac man was watched by everyone. So while everyone was culturally encouraged to identify with the whac man, the whac man has never really been required to deeply engage or identify with any perspective other than his own. As such, there is abundant trust, empathy and allegiance flooding towards the whac man that is not necessarily reciprocated.

I'm not sure whether this has changed in recent years, with the supposed democratisation of entertainment offered by streaming services. There seems to be greater representation in programming but who is watching it? Is it enough to begin breaking down our cultural conditioning to instinctively inhabit the experience of the exemplary whac man? And is it enough to create understanding in a whac man who is so profoundly unattuned to the experience of anyone other than himself?

*these are anecdotal not official stats

3. Invisible Patriarchy

One of the most Insidious aspects of this universalisation of the patriarchal viewpoint is that it invisiblises the structures and impacts of patriarchy because the whac man doesn't experience them. The whac man never experiences sexism, homophobia, ableism or transphobia. These are not barriers for him. He must, in his narratives, invent barriers to push through: professional, intellectual, physical, metaphysical barriers that prove his heroism, his dogged individualism, his ingenious lateral thinking, his admirable rebellion against structures set up by……wait a second, by him? It’s hugely ironic that the whac man is so often cast, whether in film, TV or literature, as an underdog, a maverick, a trailblazer and initiator. Because in reality, the whac man is a figure of convention, an embodiment of the status quo. And truthfully, no one pushes harder than he does against true underdogs, mavericks and trailblazers who are attempting to remake the world he has stamped as his own. There is nothing underdoggy, mavericky or trailblazery about the whac man experience. He is set up to succeed. The barriers to his success are fewer than anyone on this planet.

To be clear, I am not talking about the viewpoint of any one whac man but rather the collective viewpoint granted him by virtue of his cultural positioning. I'm also not saying that patriarchy doesn't negatively impact men. One of the main things Ted Lasso gets right is its examination of toxic masculinity and its impact on men. (It just doesn't examine, at least in s2, the far more detrimental impact of toxic masculinity on literally everyone else other than whacs). Unfortunately, if the point of view of a narrative is that of the whac man and the whac man only, it is going to feed into this universal patriarchal viewpoint simply because of its cultural familiarity. And this too-strong identification, accumulated over generations, leads to people who are negatively impacted by patriarchal structures being literally unable to see them.

These people actually become blind to patriarchy because they’ve never seen these structures and impacts truthfully represented in popular narrative. If they don't exist for any of the (whac male) onscreen representations of humanity, then they simply don't exist at all. And what is left is a world that looks fair and natural to them. THIS is how we end up with women rejecting feminism or opposing reproductive rights or voting for the ultimate whac man in a bad toupe. THIS is how we get to masses of people identifying with a white cop standing on a black man's neck rather than the black man who died. THIS is how we get to people identifying with the whac men and women legislating what happens to trans people’s bodies rather than the actual people inhabiting those bodies. Our focus, our identification, our allegiance is with the wrong people and this is largely due to the stories we listen to and who has told them. This is what I mean when I say narratives have power and real-world impact. These are, in my opinion, the very real effects of an overabundance of celebrated whac man narratives.

4. Bonding with the WHAC man

So how do you get someone to identify with a perspective that is so detrimental to them rather than stand in their own unique perspective? Make them feel. Create empathy. This is why the whac man casts himself as the plucky underdog, the lonesome maverick, the genius with a dark past. Identification doesn't work through the eyes or mind. It works through the heart. Then it gets into the eyes, mind, body and life of a person. This is the power of narrative; this is why corporations, governments and movements all deploy narrative. It is not just how we understand our world, it’s how we bond to things in it. That's why we need to interrogate the narratives told, to make sure they are ethical, that we are bonding with the people, places and things that truly align with who we are and what we, individually and collectively, value.

Like many, I bonded with Ted Lasso. But I bonded with it through its female characters. Ted Lasso won a lot of female fans, I think, despite its whac POV. I know I saw the trailer and went “oh my God, no thanks!” simply because it looked so traditionally whac. S1 focused on Rebecca though – she was arguably the protagonist and undoubtedly the character with the greatest emotional arc. And you could absolutely critique this white feminist perspective and the whac writing that underpins it. (Rebecca is an attractive, able-bodied and -minded, white woman, i.e. the sort of victim we as a society prefer to highlight, despite the higher rates of abuse experienced by women of colour and women with disabilities, for example).

S1 was also a super friendly watch for the sensitive whac male viewer, who could feel like a good guy by identifying with Ted as he comforted and rescued Rebecca from Rupert, rather than having to align himself with Rupert, whose violence was in the past and therefore never fully exhibited. This is a phenomenon that exists in the real world too. In cases of rape, sexual harassment or assault, women are more likely to be believed if there is a whac man to corroborate their story. Not only do we all trust his judgement, because the discourses and narratives we've been exposed to have repeatedly told us to, but we can all be comforted by the #notallmen aspect of having a hero present to report on the bad man. The whac man, who expects to be represented in all stories, still gets to see himself as the hero and the rest of us get to breathe easy in the knowledge that we do not need to face the monumental task of smashing the patriarchy. All we need to do is condemn one bad man. He’s the problem. Not the structure that created him and us all.

Honestly, at this point, I’m kinda convinced that part of the rush everybody felt for s1 of Ted Lasso was less to do with the ground-breaking writing of Rebecca Welton and more to do with the revelation that is Hannah Waddingham. We all just fell in love with her and no one can be blamed for that. But in s2, even this complex female experience seemed to vanish from view and I watched as female fans struggled to find their place in the Lasso-verse. They were in good company, since queer folks have never really had a place in this universe. Of course, fandom culture doesn't skip a beat in filling in the glaring gaps left by whac-y writers. That is what fandom does best: find the lack and imaginatively fill it. The question is: should we have to?

5. “Ted Lasso” s2

I suppose you could argue that, while there was little offered in the way of a female or queer point of view, more was offered this season to diversify the male experience. We got an episode of Dani, an episode of Isaac, and an arc each for Nate and Sam (despite problems with both). But is this enough? Is some peripheral Dani and Isaac, along with some highly problematic Nate and Sam content enough to balance out aaaaaalllll the Ted, Beard, Jamie, Roy and Higgins? I can't answer that question because I didn't watch enough of the season. In terms of the emotional charge I saw generated, the impression I got was that there was a lot of empathy for Ted, some of which was at Nate’s expense. And look, I get that Ted is super loveable. You can love him and identify with him despite being a different gender, sexuality or so forth. But this is not just about viewing the world through Ted’s eyes. It’s about the underlying construction of the piece, the space from which it is conceived. And for me, there was simply too much Jason, Brendan, Joe, Jeff and Bill (such whac names if ever heard a whac name). In short, s2 of Ted Lasso was just way too whac for me.

I think if the examination of toxic masculinity had been a little bit more balanced, I might have stuck it out. If the minor blind spots of s1 hadn’t turned into major, highly hubristic blindspots in s2, I would have seen it through. But s2 kinda turned into the show I thought Ted Lasso would be before I watched it and was pleasantly surprised by it subverting my expectations. And personally, I can't help being cynical about the timing of this latest crisis of masculinity. Because whac men always go into crisis when other voices get louder and other people start getting rights (please see: the masculine modernist movement in the 1920s-ish cos history is repeating). At this point, I have limited empathy for the plight of the whac man. He has had enough of my attention, empathy and allegiance. If he is going to continue to write narratives then he's got to do better than in the past. If he is going to continue to write narratives, then he needs to be scrutinised closely and held to account. And anyone who is not a whac man simply cannot afford to sit idly by as he creates and recreates the world in his own image.

[lovelivingmydreams]

Thank you guys: TS sides secret dating prank p1

As a thank you to my 230 followers. I decided to write out a concept I brought up a while ago. I know not everyone is here for my sides stuff, I'll write something for OUAT and Voltron too. So here's the first of the two part Sanders sides instalment of my 'secretly dating bet' idea.

Secret but not forbidden

Roman was pouting.

It wasn't very princely and he wasn't proud of it, but he was pouting none the less. Finally he gets Virgil to go on a quest with him and just about everything that could go wrong did.

Now he was dirty and soaked and injured.

“I can't believe you. Why in the world would you even go head to head with a manticore? What were you thinking?” Virgil mumbled as he helped Roman get to the bed in the abandoned cottage they found. Their first lucky break since they left the castle.

“I'm telling you falloutboy. I've fought more ferocious creatures than that and gotten away with barely a scratch… this one just got- argh!” Just then Roman accidentally moved his foot and a vicious sting shot through his body.

Virgil scowled as he took in Roman's pained expression. “Can't you just magic your injuries better? Or do you enjoy making me play nurse?”

Roman let out a flustered scoff at the accusation. “No! It's… I…it’s against the rules!”

Virgil blinked a few times in astonishment. “Rules…?”

Roman lifted his chin in defiance. “Unlike my brother I like to run a world where there is consistency and consequences. Until we get back to my room I’ll have to heal naturally,” he huffed as he turned away dramatically, ready for Virgil to berate him some more… but nothing came.

He turned back to Virgil and found the darker side looking at him thoughtfully.

“What?” he demanded.

Virgil shook his head and focused his attention on Roman's ankle.

“It' just… really mature of you… in your own way…” Virgil muttered as he ever so gently inspected the wound and tested how much movement it could handle.

Roman didn't realize he'd leaned in to see what he was doing until Virgil looked up and the tips of their noses came a hair’s width apart.

They both leaned back as fast as they could. Without another word, Virgil scrambled to his feet to get a fire started to warm them both up.

Roman took the time to consider the day’s events. If he was honest most of his misfortunes, with the exception of the unexpected downpour that had forced them to seek shelter, had one and the same cause. He had been distracted.

And not just today. He'd been noticing his tendency to get lost in thought when he was around a specific side a few weeks ago.

“I found some dry blankets,” Virgil announced, not quiet looking at him as he laid one next to Roman, another already wrapped around his own frame.

“Give me your cloak and stuff, I’ll lay it out to dry.”

Roman really, really wanted to protest, but he felt that would give him away so he just got it over with as fast as possible. And honestly, the warm blanket was worth the mild embarrassment.

Virgil sat down next to him.

“Your horses wouldn't happen to be the kind that always return in the end would they?”

Roman chuckled humorlessly. “They're not supposed to run off with all our supplies while we refill our canteens in the first place…” he should have tied them down better, but he had seen them brave much worse threats than a stray viper and he'd wanted to join Virgil at the river as soon as he could.

“I don't get it it's as if the entire realm…” then it clicked. “Oh…”

“Is that a good ‘Oh’ or a bad one?” Virgil asked tensely.

Roman blushed and looked back at his companion. “I… the imagination is playing out a different story than I thought… it's forcing us to follow the narrative.” His kingdom was trying to set him up.

“So you know what to do?” Virgil looked relieved. Roman was terrified.

“Yes. If I am right… well we could be home within the hour.” But everything would be different.

“That's great… isn't it?” Virgil picked up on Roman’s nervousness. Well, if he was going to risk it all he better go all in.

He took a deep breath and allowed his face to be soft, his eyes admiring, to show how he truly felt around his former adversary. He gently took Virgil's hand in his.

“Thank you, for saving me from the manticore… I am continuously astounded by your courage.”

Virgil blushed under Roman's praise and intense gaze, but he didn't look away.

“Virgil you are… I…” suddenly Roman felt soft lips gently touching his. The moment was over so fast he almost thought he might have imagined it. But then Virgil spoke. “Me too.”

Roman was ecstatic. He swiftly took hold of Virgil's face and kissed him properly.

And just when they parted they heard horses outside and a voice calling out for them.

“Deus ex machina?” Virgil scoffed dryly. The grin on his face took away from it though.

“Looks like we brought the story to it’s desired end. So… just to be clear…”

“Ugh. You want to hear me say it don't you?” Virgil complained.

“By the gods no. Not unless you want to. Just… we are officially dating, right?”

Virgil sighed. “Yes Princey. We're official. Now let's see about getting back so we can tell the others. Pat is going to freak!” Roman chuckled and let Virgil pull him up.

The man who'd followed their horses to their refuge had brought fresh clothes and some pain soothing herbs that would let Roman get home without too much trouble.

On their way Roman thought about everyone’s reactions… and out of nowhere he got an idea for an interesting once in a lifetime prank.

“Virgil?”

Virgil chuckled. “What? One kiss and you’ve got no more clever nicknames?” he teased.

Roman chuckled. “I have plenty don't you worry my dark knight in patched up armor. But I was wondering… what if we didn't tell anyone?”

Virgil grew silent. “you… don't want the others to know?” he asked tensely.

“My dear angel of darkness, I would love to shout from the rooftops that you are mine. But… what if we let them figure it out on their own?”

Virgil’s guarded expression immediately gave way to a mischievous gleam.

“Want to make it interesting?”

Roman was glad Virgil seemed on board. “I’m listening."

“Whoever does the thing that makes everyone realize we’re together has to plan our first official date.”

Roman nodded. “Alright, but some ground rules. We can’t straight up lie. And Remus doesn't count.” Virgil grinned wickedly. Already imagining the harmless chaos they were about to cause.

“Deal.” And with that they arrived at the gateway.

If the others noticed a difference when they got back, none of them mentioned it. To be fair their banter had steadily grown more and more flirty even before they confessed so the change might not raise any suspicion.

In all honesty it made their little game more exciting. They kept pushing the line of what they could get away with. Roman especially had a blast finding excuses to get close to Virgil and touch him casually in front of the others. His favorite was when one morning he took full advantage of Virgil's habit to sit on the kitchen counter for breakfast.

He stepped up to him and reached overh his head to get in the spice cabinet. He looked down at Virgil with a pleased grin when he noticed his boyfriend struggle to keep himself from checking him out. His sleepatire was much more casual and while he usually never left his room unless impeccably dressed and completely groomed, today he hadn't even combed his hair. Roman had found that Virgil had yet to deem any look on him unattractive and it had done wonders for his self image. So he let himself relax a little when it came to his appearance and man was it paying off.

"Eres tan lindo," he whispered lowly before stepping away, leaving Virgil to compose himself. Logan, who was reading the newspaper at the table didn't even spare them a glance.

While Roman liked proximity and sweet nothings as his hints to the others Virgil set up inuendo's and jumped on every opportunity to imply their relationship, remaining vague enough to be written of as something else.

"We both know who you think is the hottest of all of us. Fairest of them all, if you will, a hot topic..." he grinned during a game of truth or dare where Patton had dared Roman to give complement cards to the side they fit best with in his opinion.

Roman just threw up his hands and conceded.

“You got me there short, dark and handsome.” The jab at Virgil's height earned him a pillow to the face. And once again they flew straight under the radar.

The first real close call came from Remus. As expected honestly...

“Come on! I get why you are nit a fan of the classic princes, but Naveen and Tiana?!” Roman exclaimed gesturing to the paused screen that showed off the couple in question during their first wedding. They were sitting on the floor of Roman's room, cuddling underneath a blanket fort. Virgil had ran in earlier because he'd felt an attack coming up and wanted his boyfriend with him.

Once he'd calmed down Roman had made them both comfortable and got them some comfort snacks.

“They are fine. Tiana and Megara are my favorite Disney ladies. And Naveen is a well meaning airhead who can handle being humbled by a far more competent woman. But that,” Virgil gestured wildly at the screen. “Is not the best Disney kiss.”

“Alright. Then what is?” Roman demanded. Ready to defend this one. It was earned it came with magnificent outfits and the dialogue!

“This,” Virgil purred before laying one on Roman.

It was short and sweet and perfect. When Virgil pulled back he found his boyfriend looking rather pleased with himself. “What?”

“’So what you are saying is, I’m a Disney Prince?”

Virgil chuckled. “Well Thomas stole the show in a Disney production twice. And you are a Prince so…” Virgil didn't het to add anything else because Roman was now kissing him. It was a happy kiss. Playful and light but also earnest and…

“Roma…” when the door burst open they parted ways. Remus was balancing a pile of papers, props and fabrics related to whatever elaborate prank he’d come up with and didn't look at them in time to see them making out. But their position was far from platonic.

His eyes widened, he dropped everything and ran of screeching.

“Rude,” Roman muttered looking at the chaos his brother left behind.

“Leave it. He can clean it up himself. Let's finish the movie. Next one's my pick,” Virgil suggested, sitting back upright in a slightly less compromising position.

Roman considered going after Remus for a second. But he'd probably come back of his own accord.

And indeed. They'd only just settled back in after putting on Treasure Planet when the door flew open.

“See!?” Remus screeched gesturing to them in their fort.

He was talking to Janus, Patton and Logan who were taking in the scene.

“Did I misunderstand? Based of the description you provided I was under the impression we would find them in at the very least a state of undress.”

Virgil burst out laughing while Roman gasped scandalized.

“I'd never! Not without proper courting! Patton did I ever ask your permission to win Virgil' affections?”

“Pardon?” Virgil asked no longer laughing.

“If I were to ask you out it wouldn't be very princely to do so without Padre's approval,” Roman explained casually. "Then I’d ask you for the honor of taking you on a date.” Roman then turned back to their audience so he could pretend he wasn't aware of Virgil's blush.

“What exactly did he drag you lot here for?” he asked, sounding like he didn't even care.

“According to him you two were ‘going at it’?” Janus drawled narrowing his eyes at Roman. The snake might not approve of them. But Roman didn't really care about his opinion so it was fine.

Virgil groaned. “I… needed to calm down. Roman helped me out and we started watching Disney movies. We were not planning to do anything above a pg rating.”

“Oh… well… we'll let you get back to that then…” Patton smiled though he looked disappointed. Virgil was pretty sure he was rooting for them.

“Thanks Popstar,” he sighed relieved as Patton ushered the others outside. “Remus! Get your stuff to your side of the room at least!” Roman called after his brother. Remus reappeared in the doorframe with a pout. He started picking up his stuff as the door closed behind him.

Suddenly he heard Roman and Virgil chuckle. He looked up and they looked a lot cozier. Roman even kissed Virgil' hair. Dropping everything once more he jumped up and down pointing at them accusingly. “I knew it!” he screeched.

“If only your mind hadn't been in the gutter. Then it wouldn't have been so easy to keep it secret,” Roman grinned, relishing just a little in his brother's frustration.

“Your little stunt could've lost you the bet though,” Virgil countered.

Remus looked lost so Roman and Virgil explained the bet to him.

“So… what are you going to do? Tell everyone we're an item. Or help us?”

Remus grinned at his brother and his childhood friend.

"Let’s sow some chaos.”

@slytherin-halfblood you wanted to read something like this so here you go.

Part 2

[teddibearclub]

my favourite things kpop boys have said:

eric: a long time ago i dressed up as a princess but now i want to dress up as-

kevin: a prince?

eric: no, geodude from pokémon

-

kevin: i don’t know what a het is

-

20 seconds of silence

jisung (skz): gay!

-

kevin: van gogh was found wigless and shook in his grave, thank you for that narrative.

-

mark lee: i feel like the possibility of those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen

-

johnny: i was thinking we could also go for like frozen yogurt

mark completely changing the tone straight faced: oh i’m not a yogurt fan, i can’t eat yogurt

johnny: no it’s like ICEcream

mark: i know

johnny: ok nevermind

-

mark lee to a random person : excuse me do you know this song “party on the city where the heat is on all night in the beach where the beat is on, welcome to miami”

the person:

mark lee: i’m sorry ok

*later*

mark lee: hey do you guys know this song-

-

mark lee: wow this country music is making this texas feel more like texas, even more like texas

-

mark lee: my fingers aren’t mine

-

jaemin: then i’m jin ramyum

dream: oiiiiii

renjun: i feel like dying

dream:

renjun: what’s wrong?

-

mark lee to a squirrel: check this out hey buddy aw come on man waaeyay

-

mark: woah it’s actually different from santa monica beach because i always thought that all beaches were the same and it actually isn’t

johnny: that’s horrible how you think that

mark: i mean like in a way you know it’s just like water and a shore and then sand but now it’s different

-

renjun: in the case that this works out for me, i am going to go to the moon. i don’t want to live on this earth.

-

ten: *does a cute thing then looks at renjun* why are you looking at your hyung like that?

renjun: i’m scared

-

doni: can you do something like jeno did?

renjun: i don’t really understand korean that well

doni: suddenly? chenle, is there anything you can do?

chenle: i don’t understand...

*renjun and chenle high five*

-

renjun: i have an animal that i’m afraid of and i don’t have plans on revealing what it is

johnny: why? what animal is it

jeno: tell us!

renjun: it’s humans

-

renjun on weekly idol: i’m confident in korean

renjun anytime he doesn’t want to answer something: i’m not good at korean

renjun fluent in korean: korean is hard for me! :)

mr fluent in korean speaking in korean: i can’t speak korean though?

renjun to dream who know he’s fluent: i’m bad a korean you know

-

mark: we gathered up together in the early morning it’s nice

renjun: as we’ve been together since early in the morning, i’m tired of being together now

-

renjun: emergency exits remind me of nctzens

jeno: *spitting out his water*

-

renjun: today though such a fun program like idol room, i learned that the world is a cold and unfair place

-

mark: there’s so much generation difference between us

renjun pushing mark away: let’s keep our distance then

-

renjun: i wonder what it’ll be like when i become an adult, im worried i feel like i’ll have to be more responsible, but seeing mark.. there isn’t much to it, i mean he can drink now but that’s about it

-

yukhei: you see i’m born in the 80s so i don’t know about slang

renjun pointing to kun: what about that guy over there?

kun: *ready to murder*

-

sicheng: the scene where i appear-

renjun: YOU IMMEDIATELY DISAPPEAR

-

renjun to jeno: because you are even less fun than usual i am giving you this award

-

renjun: we’re so boring so fans must be pressing all the hearts out of boredom

-

renjun: so if i don’t win i have to pair up with the mc?

mc: yes

renjun: i should pull myself together then

-

mc: why are you so good at korean?

renjun: i’m not good at korean

doni: *grabs renjun because he’s a lying brat*

renjun: *happily showing the camera he is being attacked* why aren’t you fixing my clothes?

doni: *fixing renjuns shirt because he’s a king and it’s what he deserves*

-

renjun after losing every game: this is like we’re in a movie maybe there will be a big plot twist at the end

doni: there won’t

renjun: as expected from a biased pair of people

-

renjun and chenle talking

jisung: what are you guys saying?

renjun: if you want to know learn the language

-

mark: do we get a prize?

mc: we have an expensive gift prepared

renjun: now it’s worth doing!

-

chenle: wow my chinese is so good

renjun: nice! did you forget you’re chinese?

-

i cant remember who said this probably renjun: i think nct dream, you can say we are kind of a fun team, but when i look at the hyung team i feel frustrated, please gain strength hyungs

-

mark: ive been wearing the shoes renjun made, they’re very comfortable

renjun: i didnt make them comfortable i just drew on them

-

renjun: a spoiler? what if i get fired from the company?

donghyuck: get fired? us? get fired? lmao

-

kevin: jacob i’ve been waiting forever for this moment

jacob: waiting for what? waiting for me?

kevin: honey i see you everyday

-

jacob: the scent of autumn, the scent of leaves

kevin: we’re indoors but okay

-

kevin: kid, mama’s gotta dance

-

renjun: *speaks in chinese*

jeno: wow you are so good at chinese, did u study it a lot?

renjun: yes

-

ten: oh this is not icecream this is butter

-

johnny: there’s this thing too where girls call guys as “oh daddy” but not like a real dad

-

tens birthday note to johnny: i wanna have xxxx with you fatass! love you forever darling

mark: i don’t think we should read that

-

donghyuck: a six-pack is too heavy for me, so now i only walk around with a one-pack. i leave the other five behind.

-

nct: goodnight

mark: don’t let the bed bugs bite

ten: open your eyes

nct: NO CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE YOUR EYES!

-

johnny: my dad knew i likes beans so like he was playing with beans, and he dropped it and then he dropped it on a rock and it slid and then hot water started falling, and then coffee

-

host: wow your english is really good

johnny: i’m from chicago

-

johnny: i chose fried mackerel, mackarol, mackarel, the fish, mackerol, mackerel, mackarel *cute shrug*

-

jungwoo: trip to space

johnny: you wanna go home?

mark: that’s where he came from

jungwoo: my friends are there

mark: that’s his home town

-

jacob: i cant compare to him so-

kevin: it’s okay jacob everyone’s an artist in their own way

-

kevin: fun fact i used to do gymnastics

jacob: SAME

kevin: oh really!!

jacob: and then i quit :)

-

chenle: talking to reporters-

jisung: harry potter

jisung in excitement: ha-REPORTER

-

kevin in distress: jacob you have no beyoncé in your library, what is this? WHAT IS THIS!?

jacob: no i respect her i love her music

kevin making a scissor motion with his hands: you know what this is? scissors. to cut our friendship.

jacob: why are you exposing me like that

kevin: i’m just kidding, if beyoncé can forgive jayz i can forgive you jacob”

-

kevin: jacob came back from canada with a suitcase full of cereal

-

donghyuck: oh canada, this is korea man don’t forget okay.

-

mark lee: wait chips means fries right? 

-

kevin: sam if you’re out there i’m still waiting for you to *cough* TEXT ME BACK

-

jacob: and jeff i love you

tbz: awww

kevin: mY nAmE jEfF

-

chenle pointing at a roller coaster: do you wanna ride?

jisung: hell no i’ll die

-

chenle: jisung which sunglasses are better these or the other ones

jisung: both are mediocre

-

doyoung: that’s a difficult question because i don’t read

-

fan: comments something about renjun stealing their heart

renjun: i don’t know how to react to these types of comments... why are you all like this? everyone let’s self reflect...

-

renjun: pretend we’re close in front of the camera

donghyuck: we’re supposed to be close friends right? this is going to be hard 

-

ten: xiaojun stop being dramatic challenge

-

taemin from shinee: *singing replay by shinee*

yukhei: that’s not it

yukhei *showing taemin from shinee how to sing a shinee song*

mark: *dying in the background*

-

bambam talking about got7’s first album: you know the time we thought we was so cool, we was so good, but then we look back and it’s like what the hell

-

jae: would you rather wake up in someone’s body or wake up without being able to communicate?

brian: i’d rather not communicate

jae: then you can’t sing

brian: i’m fine with that, my parents gifted me this body

day6: ??? the fuck ???

sungjin: what if you wake up in JYPs body one day?

day6:

day6: what about it. i love it. that’s would be lovely

jae: we love you boss 👍

-

jae: what would you forget?

dowoon: i ate some ants as a kid

wonpil: i ate pill bugs

sungjin: i ate soap

wonpil: everyone’s eaten soap, what about crayons?

jae: crayons???

wonpil: they looked delicious when i was a kid

brian: i’ve eaten them

sungjin: they must’ve tasted good

-

dowoon: *stuffing marshmallows in his mouth*

brian: no you can do more STOP CHEWING PUT IT IN

dowoon muffled: i think i’m going to die

brian: you think you’re going to die??

brian smiling: sorry he might die , he might choke to death

jae: *reaching over to stuff more marshmallows in dowoons mouth*

-

brian gets a dare to sing everything he says: dare or dare~

dowoon: oooowwooo~

brian: this is my dare don’t take it from me~

-

q: can you name my bird

renjun: ...if i say to name it “bird” will u want to hit me

[the2020romanceproject]

Review: The Wedding Date

(Or: Maybe I should only read the first half of romance novels from now on?)

Book two of my year of romance was Jasmine Guillory’s The Wedding Date! I was excited about this one, since I had actually heard of it before I started reading romance, and also it has fake dating which is always gold. And I did enjoy it...up to a point. More on that below. :)

First, a summary: Alexa is chief of staff to the mayor of Berkeley. Drew is a pediatric surgeon in L.A. They get stuck in an elevator together when Drew is in San Francisco for his ex-girlfriend’s wedding to his med school classmate. Drew was supposed to have a date for the wedding, but she cancelled, and on a whim he asks Alexa to go with him instead as his pretend new girlfriend. She says yes, and they have a great time at the wedding and fall in bed afterward and have great sex. Drew secretly changes his flight to leave later in the day on Sunday, and they spend the day together. They’re both hesitant because they know the other person isn’t looking for anything real here—Alexa in particular knows Drew doesn’t do relationships—but they keep reaching out to each other, and Alexa goes down to L.A. to stay with Drew the next weekend. There’s a brief blip where she texts him to ask if he’s sleeping with other people and he makes a joke instead of answering seriously and she cancels their next weekend together; then he runs into her (very conveniently) when he’s back in SF for a conference and they fall into bed again. Then there’s a more serious blip where she meets a bunch of his exes who let it slip that he broke up with each of them around the two-month mark when it seemed to be going really well. Alexa gets upset, refuses to let Drew say anything about his intentions because she doesn’t want to be hurt, and sneaks out of his apartment in the middle of the night to fly home early. Drew realizes how much she means to him and flies up to L.A. to support her at a hearing for the at-risk-youth arts initiative she’s pushing for, and the two of them happily reconcile (and the initiative passes). He shows her the job offer he got from his mentor at a San Francisco hospital, and she tells him yes, she wants him to move here. There’s an epilogue a year later where he takes her back to the elevator where they met and proposes.

I feel like I spent my last review talking entirely about why the book fell apart in the middle for me. This book also fell apart in the middle, but I’m going to start with some things I liked/noted about it, so as to not spend ALL my time complaining about shortcomings. :)

Things I really liked:

Chemistry. Alexa and Drew are both super charming. Their back-and-forth was really enjoyable to read. It was a big part of what got me into the book: I wanted to see these two charming people grow to like each other. All the thing where they’re at the rehearsal dinner and wedding and enjoy touching each other were really nice to read.

Tropes. This one had such good tropes! Stuck in an elevator together! Fake dating! Anything with plausible deniability, where they’re acting like they really like each other but each one thinks it might not denote real interest, is just the most fun. This one gave up the plausible deniability aspect way sooner than I would have expected, but still: great tropes.

Race. Alexa is black and Drew is white. I am also white, so my perspective here is not informed by personal experience, but I really liked how this was handled. Alexa does experience some microaggressions and outright racism—not from Drew—in ways that felt realistic to me. Drew doesn’t try to explain away any of the racism, which made him seem like a good potential partner to her. There was also a thing where he failed to understand a thing in her past that was impacted by race, and when she explained it he listened and accepted his ignorance. She was still concerned that he’d like her less for having made him aware of his privilege, which felt like a very sad and real fear. Overall, it felt like racial dynamics were allowed to come into the text in nuanced and organic ways that kept Alexa from being a token POC. (Jasmine Guillory is a POC herself, so I’m not surprised that this is handled well, and there are probably other things about it that I as a white person didn’t even pick up.)

Body type. Alexa is curvy! She’s embarrassed about it! But Drew loves it! As someone who fills out the top of a cocktail dress pretty well myself, I really appreciated both sides of this: the realistic body issues from someone raised in a society that valorizes thinness, and the way the text kept affirming Drew’s attraction to her. There’s a racial component to this as well—lots of skinny blond girls in this book—but it was something I was able to identify with even from my different societal context.

Things I noted/was surprised by:

How soon they had sex. At some point I’ll stop being surprised by this in romance novels. I’ve read a lot of fake dating stories, and written some, and I would have expected the charade to go on a lot longer before they had actual sex that couldn’t at all be explained away by the fake dating scenario. The purported fakeness of it is the fun part! They both think the other one isn’t interested for real, while their own feelings continue to grow! Why would you cut that part short?? As soon as they kissed and admitted to each other that they wanted it for real, the tension dropped from a ten to about a two. This book got a decent amount of mileage out of that lower level of tension—more on that below—but it’s so surprising to me that it didn’t keep the much more interesting and trope-y tension going longer.

Consent and power dynamics. This book was super good about consent: Drew made sure to check in about what Alexa wanted, and it was played for sexual intensity, where he clearly got a kick out of hearing her say it. But it was very, very one-sided. There was no implication that Alexa needed to check in with Drew on what he wanted. This wasn’t a surprise, exactly, but it did stand out to me, since I don’t read a lot of het (and honestly this is a big part of why—I don’t want to encounter gendered power dynamics in my leisure reading). Consent felt like a thing the woman had to give the man. I’m not saying this is a problem, necessarily; just something I noticed.

Sex scenes. The sex scenes almost faded to black but not quite. Maybe they faded to gray? I felt like I knew pretty much what sex act they were doing and when, but they weren’t described in any real detail. It was an interesting compromise, like the book was trying to give us a clear sense of their sexual relationship without any real titillation. I wonder if this is a genre thing—I’m not sure this book was published strictly as romance—or if it’s just Guillory’s style.

Romcom careers. They’re chief of staff to the mayor of Berkeley and a pediatric surgeon. Those have GOT to be two squares on the romcom career bingo card. I’m teasing a little, but I think this kind of character background serves an important role: we have to know that they’re accomplished, valuable people, so that when they feel rejected or insecure we can revel in it—look, they feel like I once felt! But it’s unjustified and they’ll end up happy!—instead of actually questioning the characters’ worth. Fanfiction usually gets over this hurdle by writing about characters the readers already know and respect and love, or, in the case of RPF, writing about people who are for-real successful and famous. Romance novels have to introduce us to brand-new characters, and one of the easiest ways to make us feel sure that these characters are worthy of our respect and of the other character’s love is to give them prestigious and intellectually or creatively rigorous careers. I’ll be interested to see how many other instances of this I run across.

Two points of view. It strikes again! Do all romance novels include both points of view? I don’t hate it, necessarily—but it does decrease the overall tension. You don’t get caught up in one character’s desires as strongly when you’re seeing both POVs.

Immediate attraction. Another thing I should probably stop being surprised by. Both Alexa and Drew are very physically into each other as soon as they meet; he has trouble not looking at her breasts, and there are so many narrative references to her wanting his touch, wanting to move closer to him, etc. To be fair, I think I’m pretty far toward the “not attracted to complete strangers” side of the spectrum, so I might not be the best judge of this, but it did feel a little over the top. I suspect this was an attempt to make us really want these two to be together. I think it was trying too hard—a more genuine reserve would have been more compelling to me, where they like each other but don’t immediately want to jump each other. Also, they’re going to a wedding together as fake dates! You don’t have to try that hard to make us interested!

Food as comfort. This was such a strong recurring thread in this novel. Alexa has a sweet tooth, and Drew is always getting her doughnuts; they get a lot of very satisfying takeout. It gelled for me with the thing where a lot of the satisfaction in the novel came from the comfort of “oh, this person is touching me; oh, they like me back.” Comfort instead of angst.

Subplots. One of my questions in approaching this genre was whether romance novels needed to be more novel-like than fic—i.e. whether they needed to engage with a plot beyond the romance. This does have a very slight B plot (Alexa’s youth initiative, which is connected to her difficult relationship with her sister) but it’s VERY slight. The book has an even less prominent subplot about one of Drew’s patients who develops cancer. Alexa’s subplot resolves, whereas Drew’s is only backdrop. Drew’s in particular is used the way I’d use a subplot in fic: it’s included to provide an excuse for scenes with or about Alexa, or to affect Drew’s mood in ways that reflect or influence the romance plot. It serves the romance instead of being an independent plot in its own right.

Okay, so those are my observations. Time to dig into the thing where this book lost me in the middle—much like the last book I reviewed, but for entirely different reasons.

I’ve already talked about the drastic drop-off in tension after they slept together. That actually was not what lost me this time. This novel managed to build enough of a rapport between the two characters that I was invested in their relationship becoming real. To be clear, I would have preferred that the fake dating trope go on longer and create opportunities for actual longing. But this novel wasn’t so much about longing; it was about that delightful feeling when you like someone and you reach out tentatively and they meet you in the middle. It was the very, very gentle tension of, “Maybe we could hang out today?” “Sure!” over and over, as a relationship builds. It was fluff-adjacent tension. Super enjoyable, the way a warm bath is enjoyable. I wasn’t dying to get to the end or anything, but it was nice.

I did wonder, about halfway through, how the heck this book could possibly keep going like that. And it turned out it couldn’t. That was when it introduced: the Misunderstanding Plot.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good misunderstanding plot. But they are hard to do well. They work best when they feel unforced and genuine, and don’t make either of the characters carry the idiot ball. Like, say, if Drew and Alexa hadn’t had enthusiastic sex where they talked about how much they wanted each other, and they were still under the impression that it was a fake relationship, it would be very easy to have the other character accidentally confirm that and drive a wedge between the two of them. Or if one of them was starting to think it WAS real, and then they overheard the other person confessing to someone else that it was totally fake. (Don’t mind me; just thinking about ways I might write it.)

The problem with this one was that they were basically just dating at this point, so in order for drama to arise, the characters had to act badly in ways that felt forced and off-putting. They’d known each other for a week and a half; things had been happy and a little giddy and chill between them so far. Then Alexa texts in the middle of the workday to ask if Drew is sleeping with anyone else. (Because that is the perfect way to initiate an important relationship conversation, obviously.) He makes a joke, because he is clearly also very good at this, and they don’t speak to each other for a week and a half.

Guess which one of them this makes me like more? That’s right! Neither!!

Look. I like characters who are stupid about their own feelings and blind to other people’s. But I also like characters who, when they know about the other person’s feelings, are very, very considerate of them. Drew was not—and Alexa compounded the problem by being confrontational with the question and then abruptly pulling back as soon as she didn’t get the magical easy answer. In short, it made me think that they were bad for each other.

They recover from the texting thing when they just so happen to run into each other (I mean, I can’t throw stones, I’ll buy the coincidence) and are happy to see each other, and apologize, and everything’s fine. But by this point the novel had lost me. I had been enjoying the happy dance of “Does s/he like me? Ooh, s/he does!” but only so long as it lasted. They didn’t have a strong enough core after a week and a half to get through the badness of those texts. They were happy again, but I wasn’t invested. I was mostly reading so I could write this review.

Then, fascinatingly, the book won me back.

It was a very specific passage that did it. On page 190 of the paperback, Alexa talks in the narration about how she wouldn’t admit this to anyone other than herself, but ever since that first weekend with Drew, she’d imagined him in bed with her every night as she fell asleep. And I was sold. I mean, it was still very gentle tension. But! A thing the character wanted that she wasn’t getting! I could be into this again!

And then...well, this is already super long, so I won’t go into all the details of the misunderstanding that ended the book. It had a lot in common with the text message fiasco: Alexa felt insecure, got upset that Drew might not be into her, and refused to engage with him about whether that was true. (Okay, it was actually more egregious than the texts, in that she wouldn’t let him speak.) Her getting upset made sense, but her refusing to let him speak when he was clearly trying to felt SO forced.

The funny thing is, there was actually a seed of potential real conflict there: Drew hadn’t really admitted to himself that he wanted a long-term thing with her. He could have told her that. He could have done anything, really, to indicate that and create a real conflict. (Also tricky to handle without him coming off as not actually interested—but doable, I think.) As it was, he didn’t call her his girlfriend at a party—which, it had been like a month, and they hadn’t discussed it privately, so it’s totally appropriate not to throw the term around in public yet!—and...that’s it. Everything else was just her fears, and the very cowardly way she handled them. I guess that’s relatable? But it felt so engineered. It didn’t so much make me dislike her as make me annoyed with the text for twisting her response so that they couldn’t have the very short conversation that would have cleared everything up.

In fairness to Guillory, a friend who’s read the whole series tells me she does better with misunderstanding plots later. But I’m really, really excited to read a romance plot that doesn’t lose me halfway through.

Next up is Red, White, and Royal Blue. I’ve been told this was basically written for me, so I’m hopeful. Fingers crossed it sticks the landing!

[a-polite-melody]

Two big things that prevent (initially ace, but then it kinda turned into all types of) “discourse” from actually... being a discourse, as in a productive discussion, are 1) that aphobes purposefully use misrepresentations and as dismissive language as possible in regards to aspec orientations, and 2) REGs insistence that they talk about oppression as being ranked (as in you can say who is most oppressed and can rank down to least oppressed in a group of people).

The first is pretty self-explanatory. It’s much easier to get people who are uneducated/undereducated on a topic to agree with you quickly if you use strawmen versions of your opponents arguments to make them seem as though they’re being unreasonable or spreading blatant falsehoods.

This includes things like, instead of saying, “asexuals aren’t oppressed,” which is their real argument, saying, “people aren’t oppressed for not fucking.” At this point, anyone with any cursory knowledge about ace discourse knows that asexuality is not, as a community or “umbrella” definition, about whether or not people have sex. Aphobes specifically use the second statement because they’re using what they can to portray inclusionists as having nonsensical arguments, which is to twist and misrepresent us.

Similarly, I’d place, “cishets aren’t oppressed/cishets aren’t LGBT,” here as well. Cishet no longer is a useful term to describe anyone who has societal power over all LGBT+ and queer people under pericisheteronormative society. That’s what the term was coined to refer to. Now, when someone says cishet, I have to dig to make sure that’s what they mean, because REGs use cishet in a few different ways, and none of them are its original definition. Usually they mean it as, “a person who is cis, het, and aspec,” or, “a person with a fake MOGAI identity trying to be special,” or even just, “someone I disagree with,” as there are many people, myself included, who can attest to the fact that we, as trans and queer individuals, were called cishet simply because we disagreed with a REG.

That second reason is where things get a little more tricky, but also is one of the similarities between different types of REGs, which we’ve used to group them all as exclusionary gatekeepers of some description.

It is in all REGs’ best interest to most always (if not always) talk about oppression as if it is able to be ranked. By ranking oppression like this, or in other words, by doing exactly the opposite of what intersectionality requires, they can arbitrarily determine that certain people who may be highly vulnerable are actually, by their “true” standards, twisting the narrative and stealing other groups’ oppression.

TERFs claim that ‘Males’ are appropriating the oppression of women by calling themselves trans. These ‘transes’, when they claim they are oppressed by cis people for being trans, are claiming that ‘Females’ can oppress ‘Males’ based on sex, or are appropriating our oppression from us.

Truscum/transmeds/trumeds (why do we need so many words?) claim that ‘nonbinaries/MOGAIs’ are appropriating the oppression of trans people by calling themselves this nonbinary/MOGAI identity. These ‘MOGAIs’, when they claim they are oppressed by binary gendered people for not adhering to the gender binary, are claiming that ‘true trans people’ can oppress ‘cis snowflakes’ based on gender, or are appropriating our oppression from us.

Biphobes/mspec-antagonists claim that ‘bihets/etc.’ are appropriating the oppression of LG people by calling themselves gay/queer/not straight when they’re in a ‘het’ relationship. These ‘bihets’, when they claim they are oppressed by the monosexuals for experiencing attraction to multiple genders, are claiming that ‘LG people’ can oppress ‘bihets’ based on orientation, or are appropriating our oppression from us.

Aphobes claim that ‘aceys’ are appropriating the oppression of LGB+ people by calling themselves part of the community for being asexual. These ‘aceys’, when they claim they are oppressed by the allos for not experiencing attraction, are claiming that ‘actual LGB+ people’ can oppress ‘people who feel special for not fucking’ based on orientation/having sex, or are appropriating our oppression from us.

This. Isn’t how any of these things work. There are many different facets to both gender-based and orientation-based oppression. The existence of both oppression against women and oppression against trans people can coexist. The existence of oppression against people who are attracted to the same gender, oppression against people who are attracted to multiple genders, and oppression against people who are attracted to no genders can coexist. Because they’re all separate axes, even if they are all related. There’s interplay between these axes that we can’t ignore, but we also can’t really use any of this to rank oppression. The systems are too complicated for that.

And, beyond that, it’s just. Not necessary to determine who is more oppressed than whom. It’s not doing anything productive. It’s wasting our energy on infighting instead of creating better spaces, collecting and distributing more information, and other much more useful and helpful things that’ll end up benefiting all of us, especially those who are in vulnerable positions. Essentially, I think it’s much better to focus on making life better for the most vulnerable or oppressed of us than it is to determine who exactly is the most oppressed.

REGs go completely against that, mostly as a way to further push respectability politics to keep their optics up. Can’t have anyone too ‘out there’ hanging around when the oppressors we’re sucking up to to get extremely conditional acceptance from happen to glance at us. We need to portray ourselves as sanitized as possible so we don’t upset them. :/ (if you couldn’t tell, I don’t like this)

(Also, inb4 “stop comparing exclusionists/truscum/whatever to TERFs!” I’m not. I’m just pointing out that all exclusionary gatekeepers, of which all of the groups I called REGs are, tend to use very similar language and ideas. And those things did just so happen to originate from radfem arguments.)

[janiedean]

Why do you think the SW fandom is so knee-deep in SJ Calvinism? Because I understand wanting representation or being upset because a movie didn’t fulfill your expectations, but the “if you don’t ship X you’re racist” “if you don’t stan Y you’re bigoted” and the harassment over a disappointing movie is surprising just because of how pervasive it is. I was trying to find some St*rmpilot blogs to follow and the amount of hate is Yikes, especially the hate for Rose and the stans of a Certain Ship

eeeeeeh I think it’s because ep. 7 came out at the height of the... well, reaping the seeds the social justice calvinism had sown since 2014 so to speak? I mean, SW is hardly the one fandom where it happened (*cough* voltron and SU *cough*) but as SW is way broader in audience than those other shows that certainly didn’t help, but like, if you think on it, since 2013-ish (but I think before as well, I mean, I’ve been here since 2011 and already when I got here I felt like something was going very wrong when it came to politics-in-fandom-attitude), basically people on tumblr have progressively, when it came to fandoms:

pushed the idea that you have to over-analyze everything you consume through political lens;

pushed the idea that what you like and how you like it also has to be pushed through political lens and what you like says things about who you are as a person or your political leanings;

pushed the idea that if you care for something *problematic* just because you like it you’re excusing it;

pushed the idea that if you were problematic once you can’t ever not be problematic, you can’t change your mind and you can’t learn also because ‘it’s not my job to educate you’ so people either learn themselves or idek what but again, calvinism.

now obviously those politics are tumblr-politics which are also US centric like woah and are also high-school petty like woah, and since more or less then people have:

continuously other-ed lgbt people from *straight*/heterosexual people pushing a narrative where straight = bad and therefore putting it before anything automatically makes it a valid insult which added to the above means that if you ship het you’re already problematic regardless of whether you’re straight or not (and if you are.. lol);

pushed the performative feminism of Doom TM that says men and women should be equal but is like, an excuse to shit on men and on women who like men (see the rampant biphobia around and the whole ‘straight girls are so stupid if they’re into men they should try women’ discourse);

pushed the US terminology when it comes to the POC discourse, in the sense that everything works on the US-centered context where white people = white anglosaxon protestant, poc = everything else without realizing that in the rest of the world white does not equal wasp, that poc = black people only in most of europe (and no one who’s actually black or not white who lives in africa or asia and so on would describe themselves as poc because why the hell would you when your skin color/ethinicity is the norm where you live?), which also goes with the whole white passing debate which where I live would not exist but in that context is a mess because again, oscar i*saac is schroedinger’s poc (as in, he’s poc automatically for american standards because he’s latin-american but like he has the same skin tone as my mother and my mother in italy is white same as 90% of us, which means endless confusion) and assumed that all of us have to accept that terminology/context regardless of whether it’s valid in our countries;

kept on progressively putting minorities against each other in an endless loop of WHO HAS IT WORST/oppression olympics;

kept on progressively split hairs on issues that aren’t exactly, like, that important if there’s more urgent stuff to deal with because 90% of the activism here is performative;

made the 180° turn for which headcanons and shit are seen as, like, doing representation instead of, you know, supporting what rep is there never mind when people decide *one* ship is the right one and if another is canonized and it’s rep it gets thoroughly ignored;

pushed on a mindset for which if something isn’t perfect at the get-go then it’s canceled.

and so on.

like, all of that shit has been continuously not criticized because criticizing it especially if you don’t belong to a minority means that you’re out of line/discussing things that don’t concern you, but if you’re a minority and you criticize it then it’s suddenly YOU BETRAYED OUR CAUSE *INSERT SLUR HERE ABOUT PANDERING TO THE MAJORITY*, and the result exploded in toxic af fandoms, but like... if you look at the issues of the SW sequel trilogy fandom it’s all of that in a nutshell because:

k/ylo ren is automatically the worst because he’s white (horrible), a man (even worse), not canonically attractive (I didn’t touch on that topic bc I’m honestly not up for it mentally but lmao that counts too) and presumably heterosexual (or well, no one said he’s not but you know, since he’s a white dude on the bad side [supposedly] then we don’t give him the benefit of the doubt that he might be bi), so if you like ky/lo ren or relate to him you’re automatically problematic;

shipping re/ylo because automatically problematic because it’s a *straight* (evil) ship made of two white people (when there’s options to ship them both with people that aren’t white, so IT’S RACIST), they have an age gap (BAD BECAUSE POWER IMBALANCE) and it’s enemies to lovers, so it’s a context where people who don’t conceive redemption or that people can become better are basically crying problematic all the time, and the fact that people decided it’s *abusive* when it has like nothing that can equate it to a really abusive relationship says all;

ky/lux being the most popular slash ship immediately means that it’s the fault of the horrible straight (white) women fetishizing the (white) men on the dark side (when it’s most likely because for a while ky/lux was literally the only side of that fandom where people were chill/there wasn’t wank every other moment);

st/ormpilot has been declared The Right Ship because it’s two non-white men and it’s not straight which automatically turns into what I said before about hating other ships that would be rep anyway and feeds into the lowkey oppression olympics racism, because like if finn/rose becomes canon it’s still a mixed/biracial ship because he’s black and she’s asian....... except that it’s not the right ship for people who decided that finn has to be either with rey or poe (and guess what rey is white and poe is... schroedinger’s poc because oscar isaac in europe wouldn’t pass for *poc*), which to me has stank of lowkey racism since tlj came out because sorry but if ‘finn deserves better than rose’ or ‘finn should be with rey because if he doesn’t get rey then it’s unfair’ and the various other bullshit I read on the topic basically says that the white woman is *worthier* than the asian woman or that rose is a downgrade from rey which is fucking bullshit, rose isn’t even a bad character all the contrary. and that’s for the het side of it, but like then it’s not as good as stormpilot because it’s a straight ship (NOOOO THEY MADE FINN STRAIGHT/THEY’RE NOT MAKING THEM GAY THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT = stuff I legit saw on the tag) and ngl I’m 100% sure that the fact that daisy is Standard Attractive and kelly marie t/ran is lovely but doesn't conform to the usual beauty standard western-viewers apply on asian women did play a role in there, but: what did I say before? the slash ship is automatically better than the het ship never mind that they’re both biracial and rose is actually a rep (asian girls who don’t adhere to stereotypical body shapes - and like, the rep for all body types and shapes should be valid for all women, not just white) that isn’t exactly popular especially in mainstream cinema, so people should be happy.... but since rose is Not A Dude and Not Rey and Not The Right Kind Of Representation For That Crowd, automatically rose is a shit character and deserves to be viciously hated on. and this is a thing done by people who most likely then turn on the other side and talk shit about horrible straight women who hate the only female character for getting in the way of their slash ship without realizing that their rose hate is exactly that. and of course since sto/rmpilot is the two good guys, if you ship that then you also have to hate re/ylo because how can you, a person who ships The Good Ship On The Light Side, support such a problematic enemies to lovers thing? yeah, right, hahaha.

this also tbqh also pairs up with how on tumblr people only recognize mental health issues/abuse victims when the narrative suits them - like, being a bad victim automatically means you lose sympathy and mental health issues are only valid if you aren’t ***privileged*** otherwise why would you have them, which shows transparently in how a lot of people absolutely deny that ky/lo ren is a) an abuse victim, b) obviously mentally ill however it is that he deals with it, but no, he has to be The Most Horrible In Existence Because Otherwise We Should Have Empathy For A Bad Guy Who Also Might Get Redeemed And Redemption Is Not Happening Ever Because Bad People Don’t Deserve it.

like, all of the issues sw sequel trilogy has when it comes to the fandom are direct consequences of the nonsensical social justice calvinism climate on tumblr dot com that no one took care to put a stop to since 2013 and of its ridiculous oppression olympics and pitting people against each other and that was my take. cheers.

(ps: I also ship sto/rmpilot like woah and it’s my otp but there’s a reason why I unfollowed most SP blogs I followed and why I don’t go into the tag anymore - I’m not here for the anti-rose racism dressed up as performative wokeness, I’m not here to get lectured about as a white person I fetishize poc gay men if I ship it - yes I read that too - and I’m not here to read a bunch of meta about how re/ylo is a bad ship and blah blah blah, so yeah. I feel you.) (pps: ky/lo ren isn’t even my favorite character and I care relatively but gdi the way the fandom approaches him is honestly mindboggling in that sense, and I don’t mean people who actually dislike him because fair reasons, I mean people who can’t recognize his abuse victim status and the precarious status of his mental health. like, not all abuse victims and mentally ill people are the right victim or come from the right background and you can be cool motive still murder and still recognize that he’s like that because he has issues, not because he was drawn that way. /bye)

[saigontimemd]

When I think about how there’s so much goddamned gatekeeping in the nerd community, particularly among older male nerds, I understand why. When I say I ‘understand,’ I don’t mean ‘agree with’ or ‘condone,’ I mean ‘I recognize the thread of causality as to why these people act a certain way.’ I understand them the way someone understands a tornado.

Nerds from my generation and the surrounding eras were vilified for our interests in school. Just straight up. People made fun of us for reading books that were too big or had too many pictures or playing cards with fantasy stuff on them, etc. When words weren’t enough, or they were feeling particularly vindictive, they tried to take away, destroy, or otherwise ruin what we enjoyed. Some of them tried to ingratiate themselves just so they could get close enough to really hurt us.

Kids are terrible. In a search for discovering, understanding, and deciding who they are in the world, they forge alliances, ostracize others, and backstab constantly - most of the time they don’t even consciously understand why they do it, they just do it because the little rat that’s pushing the buttons in their brains is still trying to figure out what those buttons do not just to themselves but the world around them.

Straight white male nerds became protective, obsessive of their interests, dedicated to keeping outsiders out and making sure that only people who had the same level of interest were allowed ‘in.’ They cliqued up, just like every other social group. But there was a fundamental difference for the straight white male nerds and everyone else: because of their straightness and whiteness and maleness, they were told by society that what was happening to them shouldn’t be happening. Nerds of color, girl nerds, and non-het nerds were/are conditioned by society that they should expect to get treated like shit, so when they get pushed around, they didn’t devolve into the rabid, insular society of straight white male nerds. Straight white male nerds, on the other hand, were/are conditioned by society that they shouldn’t have to put up with this shit, so they became aggressive, but only within their circle. They were on the ‘straight white male’ ladder, but the bottom rung as far as everyone else on it was concerned.

So I understand why they behave the way they do. They were traumatized, the same way that all nerds were/are growing up. The difference was that they weren’t taught to accept their trauma as just business as fucking usual the way anyone who wasn’t straight, white, and male was.

I grew up as (sort of) part of that society. I’m white and male and lucky enough to be over 6 feet tall with a lot of meat on my bones, so I didn’t fall into the ‘easily shoved into a locker’ category that a lot of other nerds I knew did. I still didn’t really come out as bi until my second two years of high school, and that was at an art school were pretty much everyone was at least bi anyway, which was a far cry from the 6,000+ population public school I went to my first two years. I still have to check myself when I see people who don’t fit the nerd look wearing nerdy stuff - or at least stuff that used to be considered nerdy. Wearing a Captain America shirt when I was in high school would get your own cafeteria lunch tray dumped on your head. Wearing a Captain America shirt nowadays is standard practice; people look at you weird if you say you haven’t see the newest Marvel movie. What a time to be alive.

But like I was saying, I still have to check myself from time to time. Sometimes I’ll see some tough-lookin’ dude in a Punisher shirt and I think to myself “I don’t think you really understand what that character’s about.” The ‘Punisher skull with a blue police line through it’ is the chief offender, but that has more to do with the fetishization of police power by bootlicking morons, and that’s a whole ‘nother Tumblr post. I’m probably up to a 95% ‘no judgment’ rate. It’s a hard habit to break.

Humans see patterns where there are none, they create deep personal meaning out of random events. Everything ‘has’ to mean something, especially suffering. Everything has to be a part of a larger narrative arc. Otherwise, what’s the point? A huge part of that rabid straight white male nerd defensiveness/gatekeeping is the idea that because people haven’t suffered the way we suffered, they somehow don’t deserve to enjoy the same things we did. They didn’t pay their dues, they didn’t do their time. I’m ashamed to say I used to think this way.

It’s the responsibility of younger generations to do it better than the previous generation did, to improve on the last iteration. It’s also the responsibility of older generations to make the world a kinder, more welcoming place for the coming generations. I fully believe this. If you’re not leaving the world a better place than you found it, then you’re making life worse for everyone else, and that’s a shite thing to do. No, these kids don’t (always) have to hide in the bathroom so they can read their manga without someone pouring a Coke on it. That’s a great thing. That’s a step in the right direction, for fuck’s sake. We want our suffering to have meaning, to have earned us something, but it didn’t. It’s just suffering, and it happened, and nothing can change that. Who in their right fucking mind goes through something awful and thinks ‘I want other people to experience this too’ and not ‘I want to make sure that this never happens to anyone ever again?’

I don’t have a great conclusion to this, it’s a rant that just sort of happened because I saw someone getting so excited about new stuff coming out in their fandom and I know just fucking know that straight white male nerds on Twitter are gonna be tearing into that person. And that makes me mad as fucking hell. Nerds who think that their interests becoming mainstream somehow dilutes the source are the same people who think solar power depletes the fucking Sun faster. They can fuck all the way off.

Share what you love. I’m begging you. Nerd-dom has come so far already. Just let go of that suffering and realize that there are entire generations waiting to rejoice with you in the things you love together.