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#it doesn’t even make sense from a tactical standpoint
thejasontoddarchives · 10 months
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Batman (2010-) #637
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Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-) #25
:)
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kinardsevan · 3 months
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I think one of the fascinating discussions around Tommy’s past is the issues related to how he attached himself to Gerrard, without any attempt to understand the trauma bond. We have him stating that working under Gerrard was like the father he already had. And we’ve seen the blatant disregard, lack of care, manipulation, that Gerrard brings to the table.
At which point, I can’t help but reflect on from a psychology standpoint. We fanon that Tommy likely joined the army as a way to get out of his house and/or try and please his father. Which directly correlates to his behavior under Gerrard. He had (has?) a need to fall in line with the person in charge likely because he knows that if he doesn’t, it’s going to backfire on him. Whether that came in the form of neglect/withholding care, or actual abuse, we’ll have to wait and see. But I wouldn’t put it past his backstory to have some level of that same manipulation we saw in Hen Begins (referring specifically to the scene where she’s cleaning the truck and Gerrard presents himself as initially caring and then twists the knife.) Let’s also be clear that Gerrard fits most of the requirements for trauma bonding. Love bombing in a corporate setting (be who I expect you to be and you’ll be fine), loss of self (Tommy shutting down to be who he needed to survive), gaslighting (we saw this in Hen Begins, and you can’t tell me that Hen and Chimney were the only ones gaslit by this man), and blaming yourself (we know Tommy holds space for his place in how Hen and Chimney were affected by his lack of saying anything. We need more on his back story with his sexuality and working under Gerrard, but I have zero issue believing he went through a stage of self-hatred at the 118 with Gerrard).
My point being, Tommy probably thought he was out from that kind of treatment when he left home. Except then he joined the military, which comes with its own tactics and behaviors for getting soldiers to stay in line. Upon return to civilian life, he becomes a firefighter and is placed under Gerrard. He’s come up under a time where DADT was the rule. He knew well enough by then that he was not the exception. And I imagine at every turn, he thought “okay, now it changes”. Except that never actually happens, until Bobby shows up.
So instead, you have this character with an understanding that the easiest way to go along to get along is to stay quiet and keep his head down, even in the face outward abuse (this would also correlate to witnessing his parents abuse each other). Trauma bonds will drive you to make choices that categorically make no sense in a normal setting. But this setting isn’t normal. That’s kind-of the entire point.
Does it justify his behavior? Absolutely not. But does it mean he actively sought to hurt others while he kept his mouth shut and retreated inwardly, the one place he knows is at least somewhat safe? I’m going to argue not.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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dazai-fan-page · 7 months
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I’m so glad someone else agrees on Mori picking Tanizaki in the trade. Mori learned all too well that he functions on logic differently than dazai. Of course both of them are ruthless but Mori’s is much more impersonal. Picking tanizaki strategically makes the most sense. Not only because of his ability but his sister. It would be a very beast-like situation where Mori holds one of the siblings as motivation for the other, similar to Dazai with the Akutagawas. Holding Naomi’s life as motivation for Tanizaki, as well as his loyalty to the agency, makes perfect sense for someone like Mori who hopefully learned his lesson on projecting priorities after dazai left.
The other option was Yosano as it was hinted at through Mori’s thoughts of “fukuzawa doesn’t need to know” as well as her past with him. There are countless things that Mori could hold against yosano as manipulation but the agency is more likely to fight to get her back and that defeats the point of an alliance. Everyone, especially those in the agency who know Mori’s treatment firsthand, would lose it. (Not that they wouldn’t be upset with Tanizaki being traded but yosano would be significantly worse)
If Dazai was accepted it would be great potential for all the fanfic writers! But at this point deeply invested fans know that’s not Asagiri’s style to hand it to us straight. It would be painful and much more emotionally based in terms of Mori’s tactics than logical. That empty executive seat may be filled but there’s just as much of a chance Dazai will intentionally cause more inconvenience in return than leaving him in the agency where Dazai has more freedom to be a menace to society. Mori would also lose Chuuya’s trust and would have to rely much more on acquiescence than he should. For Dazai himself it would be disastrous for his character arc in more ways than I would elaborate in one ask. Taking Yosano or Tanizaki makes more sense for Mori even though neither are good options. Taking Dazai would require a moment of silence.
tl;dr- I agree with you on the trade
Sorry for the long ramble you didn’t have to read it all! But it’s nice knowing someone else’s opinions on the trade. Please stay safe and drink water lovely stranger!
Yes. To all of that.
Also personally I love Mori, he's one of my favorites, and people thinking he's just obsessed with Dazai is. Not accurate?? He just cares about him, of course Mori wants Dazai to come back he spent so long keeping that little shit alive he got attached. It happens.
Anyways also from a literary standpoint it'd be. Weird to backtrack a character's development so much. Which is also why it didn't make sense to kill him off.
Now personally I hope Dazai and Chuuya end up in a safehouse for most of the next arc but realistically we'll probably get a corruption scene at best.
-E
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violethowler · 3 days
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Rethinking Cassius's Disappearing Act in Light Bringer
While re-reading Light Bringer, I realized that while Cassius should’ve at least given Darrow the chance to relay some contingency orders, his decision to sneak off after Lysander actually had some thought put into it, and had more layers to his motivations than just trying to reach out to Lysander for the sake of his own attachment to the little shit.
So much of the planning around what Darrow and Diomedes’ fleets will be doing when they return to the Core hinged on whether or not Lysander agreed to Diomedes’ offer of a three-way alliance against Atalantia and peace between their three factions. Darrow even commented in the final chapter as he was reflecting on putting his faith in Diomedes and Volga that “so much balances on the good intentions of dangerous people.”
And when it comes to big shit like that, it would make sense for Darrow to want to try and have an insurance policy to guarantee a favorable outcome – like how he asked Sevro to steal the recording of Julian’s death that Lilath gave to Cassius in Red Rising to eliminate the risk of Cassius deciding to watch it.
So, it would make sense from a tactical standpoint to send someone into Lysander’s camp who has a personal relationship with him to persuade him to accept Diomedes' offer. Much like how Sevro mentioned in the final chapter that the Volk and Daughters only came together because “I worked on Athena and Lyria worked on Volga.” Cassius even admits to trying to influence Lysander’s decision when they meet in the latter’s stateroom, and out of everyone Darrow would’ve been able to send, he was the only one with a positive enough relationship to Lysander to be qualified for the job.
And Cassius establishes in the beginning of the book that he knows Darrow so well that he can anticipate that Darrow is going to sneak out in the middle of the night to rescue Sevro by himself when the rest of his men object. So, Cassius would likely be able to predict that Darrow would’ve sent him in anyway as soon as he got back from meeting with Diomedes, and figured it would be easier and faster to just go and get it done instead of waiting for Darrow to ask him to do it.
Which, in hindsight, makes Cassius sneaking out at the end of the book a mirror of Darrow doing the same at the beginning. At the start of the novel, Darrow snuck out in the middle of the night to follow his gut instinct and try to reach someone he cares about while potentially turning someone on the enemy side over to his own. And now at the end of the book, both he and the audience end up in the same position that his troops were in back at the beginning.
While Darrow had failed to turn Apollonius like he had hoped, he did succeed at swaying the Obsidians back to his side and winning the loyalty of Diomedes. Both of which could’ve potentially given Cassius hope that the decade he spent trying to raise Lysander would be enough to sway his former ward into agreeing to the alliance.
So, while having Lysander on his side again was likely something that appealed to Cassius, that doesn’t appear to have beeen his primary motivation for running off. Instead, the parallels and patterns that I found throughout the book paint his decision – while impulsive in execution for not having an escape plan in case he gambled wrong – as ultimately coming from Cassius asking himself “What would Darrow do?”
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Full Confession Under the Cut due to length
CONFESSION:
The change from internal heatsinks with a cooldown to thermal clips bothers me not just from a lore and technological perspective, but also design wise. Because even tough BioWare changed how the weapons work, they didn’t really change their design to accommodate it.
How is it that a heat clip fits into a M-3 Predator, and how is it inserted and ejected from the weapon? Unlike modern day firearms, that weapon doesn’t have insertion and ejection ports, and the weapons that do like the N-7 Valkyrie have a very weird design.
The Valkyrie’s insertion port for the clip is under the weapon, way too close to the trigger and by the second barrel, wich for this weapon is supposedly the range finder. The ejection port is on top of the gun near the upper barrel from wich the projectiles are fired, and right below where an optical ranger is to be inserted. It’s an impractical design that doesn’t make sense, from a tactical standpoint or otherwise! Also, the firing barrel on this weapon and many other should be the the second/under barrel, since it would perfectly align with the stock to help reduce recoil, as well as the first/open barrel making more sense as the range finder to better connect with optical sights… but that’s a whole other problem!
Plus, how is it that clips can be of universal design when the weapons have very different sizes and heat generation? How is it that a clip fits perfectly in a pistol and shotgun? How is it that a clip gives the Carnifex only 6 rounds, but 80 to the Revenant? It doesn’t make sense!
I really, really hope BioWare will pay more attention to the design of the weapons for the next Mass Effect and fix all of these problems.
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nutellaneedsanap · 3 years
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Almost a Dream
Jason awoke with a start, the senses he honed as a street kid warning him that something was wrong. It wasn’t a noticeable shift, something a more normal person wouldn’t notice, but to a person with his training it was glaringly obvious. The slight shift of the blankets, the dip of the bed…a quick peek confirmed what he already knew. There was someone else in his bed. The blue-eyed boy kept his eyes lightly shut, feeling the warm body next to him shift ever-so-slightly. Discreetly, he opened his eyes and peered at the figure that appeared next to him, gauging her threat level. 
She was a smaller girl with blueish-black hair, likely of asian-descent, and a wiry-muscular frame not unlike Dick’s. Deciding that she was asleep, (therefore not much of an immediate threat), Jason went to move, planning on getting Bruce. He had only just begun to sit up when she pounced.
She gave no warning before lunging forward, giving Jason’s throat a quick jab that left him gasping for air. Taking advantage of the moment it took for him to catch his breath, the girl grasped his hair at the root and brought his head down on her knee. A telltale crack sounded throughout the room and internally, Jason groaned. 
“Ahhh, Alfie’s not gonna be too happy about that.” His voice had a slight lisp, another sign pointing towards a broken nose. His assailant scrambled to get off the bed and backed towards the balcony, her hands quickly touching her ear lobes. She did not seem to like what she found, her face quickly settling into a scowl.
“I don't know who you are or what you want from me,” she began, settling into a (rather good) fighting stance. “And I don't care. I will be leaving and you will not stop me.”
Jason looked at her, grasping his nose that had begun to leak a small trail of blood.
“What the hell?” He wasn’t screaming but he sure wasn’t whispering. 
“I’m not exactly sure how you do things in France, but I'm pretty sure most parents teach their children to not break into someone’s house, sleep next to them like a weirdo, and then break their nose!” 
There was a chance that the bluenette couldn’t understand him(there was no shortage of immigrants in Gotham), but Jason hadn’t learned more than basic French yet. Technically, learning the more common languages was a part of his training as Robin, but he had kind of forgone those specific lessons. And why would he put in all that time and effort learning French when he could be reading more books from the Manor’s library?
She blinked at him. “What do you mean, I broke in? I apologize but sir, you are not pretty enough to pretend to be so stupid.”
The black-haired boy blinked right back. He may not know French but he does know an insult when he hears one, so he fires one back. “Well fuck you too.” 
The girl scrutinized him, her expression screaming “Is that the best you can do?”
“Oh? You want to go? Fine. My middle finger salutes you and your assholeishness. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to those who truly worked hard for the title.” 
She stuck her tongue out at him. 
“There is a special place in hell for you, ya know that?”
The girl cocked an eyebrow. “I’m aware there is a special place in hell for me, it's called a throne. And those are bold words for someone who literally kidnapped me, but go off I guess.” 
It didn’t take much more for the pair to dissolve into a screaming match, the bluenette yelling in French and what he thought was Cantoneese and Jason using more than a few of the Spanish phrases he had picked up from his dad and other folks on the street. Jason was in the middle of one of his more strongly worded combinations when the door slammed open, Bruce and Alfred standing in the doorway.
The both of them took a moment to examine the situation, Alfred accessing Jason for injuries while Bruce switched on the Batglare™. “Who are you, and how did you get here?” 
The poor girl looked exasperated. 
“I don’t know how I got here!! Last thing I remember was collapsing into bed and the next thing I know I wake up to the face of this,” she pointed at Jason, “creep who doesn’t even have the decency to talk to me! I keep on asking him how I got here and why he took me but he just won’t answer. He’s pretending that he doesn’t know French, but who in Paris doesn’t know French?!? I  mean, sure, there are immigrants, but who the hell would immigrate to Paris nowadays? What with Hawkmoth akkumatizing people day and night.” 
She paused before flopping down on the floor, dejected. “Today was supposed to be perfect, the day I finally got my soul mark and got one step closer to finding my soulmate, but no, I just had to get kidnapped the night before my 16th birthday!” She put her face in her hands and her shoulders began to shake slightly. 
Jason looked from the girl back to Alfred and Bruce. “Is she?” he mouthed, thoroughly bewildered. Bruce exactly as Jason felt, while Alfred’s face was twisted into something that resembled pity and understanding. 
“Master Bruce, may I have a moment with you?” Bruce sighed and turned to leave. Not wanting to be left alone with the now sobbing girl, Jason followed.
Alfred handed Jason a handkerchief for his nose before he began. “Masters, this young girl has been through quite the ordeal and I will not have either of you using your vigilante intimidation tactics on her, understood?” 
He waited until he got a nod from the two of them before continuing. “Good. You know, Master Jason, I read a very interesting book recently about Kate Goodwill and her studies on soulmates. And before you ask, Master Bruce, I do have somewhere I am going with this. The book was absolutely fascinating, the theories, the experiments, simply everything. However, the one thing that stood out to me the most was Dr. Goodwill’s research on the different types of soul bonds, specifically the one that she and her wife shared. Her research was kick-started because no one had heard of their type of soulbond before and it had caused quite the panic for both the young girls and their families.” He paused, making eye contact with Jason. “Their soulbond caused the younger of the pair to teleport into their soulmate’s bed in the middle of the night on their sixteenth birthday.”
•••
Marinette was not having a good day. First, Mlle. Bustier assigned her to work with Lila, Lila of all people, for the end of the semester project in summer school (which she was attending due to her absences as Ladybug and Lila was attending because she was constantly absent for “charity work”), then in the middle of the night, Hawkmoth sends out 1 and ½ akumas (long story), and now she wakes up to find that she was kidnapped by a psycho in her sleep? What the actual FUCK?!?! Where was Tikki’s luck when she needed it?
And ok, sure, she wasn’t necessarily proud of how she handled the situation, but she was under a lot of stress, ok! She woke up in a random kid’s bed with no earrings and no Tikki. And yeah, she probably could have done without antagonizing the boy, but it was so easy and fun to get him riled up! How was she to know that the yelling would bring scarier other people? Ok yeah scratch that she probably should have figured that out herself (I mean the boy obviously had money so it makes sense that he’d have more people around his house) but in her defense she was like, really tired.
She glanced at the closed door that the men had just exited, wiping a few stray tears from her face. 
“If only I had Kaliki,” she mused. 
But no matter. She already had the beginnings of an escape plan forming in her head. I’ll just need a handkerchief, a piece of twine, and maybe a hairpin to pick the lock on the balcony door, but then how would I get out of the property? A house with a room like this must have crazy security measures… She went on like this for a couple of minutes, formulating her plan before she checked out the window. Three stories up...could normal civilian Marinette survive that jump? I would transform, I still have my earrings, but without Tikki I can’t... She went on like this, thinking of different plans and contingencies. The bluenette was so lost in her head that she almost didn’t notice when the three re-entered the room.
“Miss,” the older man who looked like a butler began. “I deeply apologize for the earlier behaviour of Master Jason.” He gestured to the now apprehensive boy who gave her a little wave. “He has not yet learned French and had no way to comprehend the situation. I was able to hear both sides of the story, and I believe that there has been a large misunderstanding. You were under the impression that Master Jason kidnapped you, correct?” Marinette nodded, more than a little confused. “Master Jason was under the impression that you had snuck into his bedroom in the middle of the night.”
“So what are you suggesting, someone put me here without either of us knowing?” I swear to all things holy if this man accuses me of lying…
“I am getting there, Miss. I assume you are familiar with the soulmate story of Dr. Kate Goodwill?” Marinette nodded yet again. 
The man took a deep breath. “I believe this is a similar situation, and that the two of you are soulmates..”
Her jaw dropped. “You mean I...we...what? N-no way.” 
She racked her hands through her hair. She... she wouldn’t overlook something like that, right? You were supposed to feel a sense of belonging the first time you met your soulmate and she...had kind of felt that. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. From a logical standpoint, it would explain so much! Why he spoke English, why Tikki wasn’t with her, why her earrings weren’t on… Her face turned crimson as she realized the full implications of the statement. She turned to face the newly named Jason.
“Oh Kwami I’m so sorry Jason! I didn’t mean to, I swear, I was just so surprised and kind of scared and oh Kwami, the first time I met my soulmate I broke his nose and called him every name that I knew,” she smacked herself on the head. “Only you Mari. Oh gosh I totally understand if you never want to talk to me again I’m probably the worst soulmate in existence I just-” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the two adults leaving the room.
“You can speak English?” Jason exclaimed, looking equal parts amused and exasperated. “You spent this whole time yelling at me in French and Cantoneese and you can speak English? So much of this could have been avoided if you had just talked to me!”
Marinette gave a nervous chuckle. “Uhhhhh, surprise?” 
At his incredulous look, she rushed to elaborate. “Well I thought we were still in Paris and no one has immigrated to Paris in literally two years so I thought that you knew French and the choice to speak English was conscious? Like maybe it was some weird interrogation tactic or something? I don’t know, I was just confused.”
“You thought I kidnapped you?” He whistled through his teeth. “Yeah, I can see why you reacted the way you did. No worries though, my nose isn’t too horribly fractured and I probably would have done the same thing.” They both chuckled. 
He has a nice smile, Mari noted. (She wouldn’t know until much later, but Jason thought the same about her laugh.)
“I think we should start over.” Marinette held out her hand. 
“Hi, I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I live in Paris, France, today is my birthday, and I think I’m your soulmate.”
Jason smirked, holding out his hand. “Hello Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m Jason Todd-Wayne and I think you are my soulmate too,”
They shook, and that was that.
The End.
Bonus:
Jason: You know, Ethiopia can wait for one more day.
Marinette: It can wait FOREVER.
Bonus 2:
Alfred: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Jason: Would you like to stay forever?
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shiroselia · 2 years
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I know this is gonna sound fucking farfetched but bare with me for like, half a second okay folks
I’m really starting to think that the whole “companies aren’t your friend” and “you’re a consumer so you’re allowed to give critique to the service provided to you” thing has really gotten to a certain part of the SSO fandoms head and it’s genuinely concerning
What people mean when they say “companies aren’t your friend” is that they mean that companies Are looking to sell their products to you, which of course they are welcome to how literally everything works, companies provide you with services (in form of tasks, food, games, what have you) that you in turn pay for, and they want you in particular to pay for Them and Choose Them, because that’s how they stay alive, that’s how they continue to provide and improve their service, therefore, things like sales and perks exists. Companies want you to become a regular because that’s Great for their longevity. It essentially boils down to that you should be aware that you are a consumer first and that companies are always looking to make you a consumer of Their product in particular.
What “companies aren’t your friend” DOESN’T mean is that they’re looking to blindside you into selling your soul to them, yes, some companies are Terrible and practice Extremely poor ToS or employee standards (or more this rabbithole goes deep as hell), and are in every sense of the word looking to scam you (in different degrees of course, there’s scams and scams). But I fucking Promise you that SSE aren’t trying to kidnap your newborn and make your forge a contract with the devil just because they’re a company who needs consumers to stay alive. They give us 1 horse release a month, maybe 2 if it’s a magics month, because that’s their Only steady and reliable source of income, them offering lifetime is a stupid decision on their part because they actively lose money because of it, I’ve played this game with a lifetime subscription for 10 years. I’ve payed 500kr FOR A DECADE OF GAMING. That’s *stupid* from a business standpoint. But they do it anyways because it’s Really good for consumers and it makes people wanna play your game because they know that consumers like stuff that is worth it for them. Is it a business tactic? Absolutely, everything is. But it’s one they’re actively losing income over. If it’s too much for you, don’t consume. You have a choice. Make the choice not to.
I fucking Love that I can play an MMORPG and only pay for it once. Monthly subscriptions is the standard for this genre, and as someone who only gets like 1000kr a month I’m kinda glad I don’t have to worry about spending 10% of that income to keep my fun little horse game around. They give us so many horses, which isn’t even that many, there’s 12 releases of regular breeds a year at best, because star coins is the only purchase they can guarantee a player can make on the regular. Everyone who wants to play this long term gets lifetime because they don’t want to regularly pay. Star rider isn’t a good source of income for them because 90% of players that will stick around only get that once and then never again. They aren’t looking to blindsind you with the horses. If you spend too much money on horses that’s on you. You can either save up or buy extra, and it is up to you as a consumer to be mature and don’t spend money over your budget. Be responsible people we’re mostly adults around here. You are a person with autonomy. Use that fucking autonomy, you are not helpless, you are a person. You as the consumer have the power to either consume, or not to.
And the one that really fucking gets to me “you’re allowed to critique a product”. Yes. No fucking shit. But you people don’t critique the product. You critique the people that make the product. There’s a difference. An example: If I think that the tack for the equestrian festival is overpriced, which I do, how do I solve that? I send SSE an email through support and go “Heyo I think these items are overpriced, I’d prefer if they were a bit cheaper.” What I DO NOT do, is go into the comment sections of an SSE employee and go “WOW YOU FUCKERS ARE STUPID HOW DARE YOU CHARGE THIS MUCH FOR THIS TACK KYS”. Which is extreme yes but very common in the IG parts of this fandom.
Mfers consuming a product does not give you the right to behave like an entitled fucking asshole to the people behind the product. Or atleast not when said people are straight up just doing their job. If some fucker at SSE suddenly starts acting like a bitch (say, being openly homophobic as an example) I’d hella cancel them, but as far as we’re aware they aren’t. It *IS NOT OKAY* to take advantage of employees being public about a) where they work and b) what they do and what they work on, to be an asshole about whatever it is you don’t like. Need I remind you how this fandom handled the Friesian not being up to their expectations? People went to Lisa’s personal instagram and told her that she’s incompetent in her comment section. That’s not okay that’s harassment. That’s not critique that’s being a bully.
And if any of you motherfuckers try to tell me that the employees “should know how to take it”; NO PERSON. SHOULD BE TRAINED. TO ACTIVELY LIVE AND LET LIVE. ABOUT BEING PERSONALLY HARASSED.
Anyways have fun sorry for clogging y’alls feed please be normal about real people <3
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dragonsaphirareads · 3 years
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Logan is not the orange side, nor is he turning into it
I know this is a really popular theory right now, and I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a really fun idea to explore. Logan going feral, throwing his hands up in the air to say fuck it, I’m going to the other side. But it doesn’t make sense to me from a logical perspective, for several reasons. 
1. There have been multiple references to the final side, and they imply that the side already exists and is a separate entity. At the end of SvS, Virgil points to Janus and says “Don’t ever let him or his friends hang around here for that long ever again.” Meaning that there are at least two other sides aside from Janus that Virgil doesn’t want around. We know one is Remus, and we can assume the other is the orange side. And then we have the hint from SvSR, 01134. It doesn’t make a lot of sense for the orange side to be saying hello if it wasn’t a separate entity. 
2. From a narrative standpoint, it’s really odd that they would make three separate references to the Jekylll and Hyde situation. Janus represents both truth and lies, opposites of each other, shown by his two-headed icon and his half-and-half face. And then you have Remus and Roman, who were actually two halves of the same side broken apart. It feels odd that they would do the exact same thing with Logan - representing both calm, rational logic and blinding, irrational anger would be repeating themselves a little too much. 
3. If Logan was a past dark side, we would have gotten a reference to that by now. Both Janus and Remus taunted Virgil with that dark past, clearly trying to get Thomas to question it and make Thomas not trust Virgil. So, if he used to be a dark side, why wouldn’t they use that same tactic to try and make Thomas not trust Logan, the side that is keeping them from being able to take over the conversation?
4. Some people have compared this situation to Virgil becoming a “light side”, but there’s never been any actual evidence that he was anything other than Anxiety. We’ve seen Virgil as a dark side - it was his first few appearances where Thomas didn’t like or trust him, and as he started to see Virgil’s point of view, Anxiety became more of a neutral force in his eyes. Virgil never changed, it was Thomas’s perception of Virgil that changed. Following that logic, Thomas would have to start to view Logan’s influence as harmful or useless in order to Logan to become a “dark side”, and that’s not what’s happening. Thomas still thinks he values Logan’s input, that Logan is a force for good that’s trying to help him. A side being “light” or “dark” has nothing to do with their own feelings - I doubt Janus or Remus are chosing to be ignored by Thomas. 
5. Then there are some reasons from a more Doylist perspective. It would be a little difficult to see Logan struggling with this internally, when the whole point of the series is to see an argument play out within one person’s mind between different facets of himself. Then there’s the simple fact that seven is a good number. Seven sides means that there will always be a tiebreaker when everyone is involved in the conversation. It means there is one character represented by one color, following a pattern that we’ve seen since they got new outfits that cemented their colors. And, from an even simpler perspective, I want to see Logan more and I want to see him interact with other characters, and him being goading to the point where the orange side pops up and encourages him and Thomas to go absolutely feral is a scene I do not want to be robbed of. 
6. This isn’t really connected for sure to what Logan is, but I have not stopped thinking about the “Apollo” reference that Logan made. He clearly wasn’t referring to himself - if he wanted to say that he wished logic or intellect was in charge during the day, he would have said Athena. 
Apollo is the god of music, prophecy, art, the sun, and medicine, along with dozens of other domains depending on the story. He is associated with both gold and amber. He’s not really associated with anger or wrath, which makes me think that there’s something more going on with this reference than simply talking about the orange side (although I want his name to be Apollo so bad, not the least of which because Apollo is both a Greek and a Roman god, which would give us the duality of being a “light” and “dark” side while keeping Logan a separate character.)
In conclusion, the orange glowing eyes is more likely an indication that the orange side is gaining strength, and will probably show himself soon. Given that Remus was not at all surprised by the action, it would imply that this is either a power that the orange side has, and even that Remus is in on a plan to make Logan realize his anger to give the orange side enough to appear to Thomas. Either way, we’re going to see the orange side soon, and I am so excited to see him interact with Logan. 
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simplepotatofarmer · 3 years
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why techno doesn’t need to apologize (not clickbait) (yes even for doomsday)
normally i always say multiple times through a post about techno that he’s caused harm and i don’t excuse it but this post, this is the only time i’m going to say this because i don’t want to get sidetracked. 
first, we’re talking about apologies in the sense of a verbal apology as in some form of saying ‘i’m sorry, i was wrong’ and that’s important to define for reasons i’ll get into later.
i’m gonna break this down in two parts: character-wise & narratively 
1.) techno doesn’t need to apologize from a character standpoint 
i could just call this section ‘changed behavior is a better indicator than an apology and also we need to stop expecting people to react a certain way’ if i’m being honest because that’s what it boils down to.
c!techno has stated that he has anxiety and finds conversations difficult and therefore avoids them. he says as much in pogtopia after the red festival and it’s displayed in other instances with him actively avoiding or leaving conversations. i bring this up because it’s important re: the idea that techno hasn’t even acknowledged the harm he’s caused. if we’re talking in terms of saying ‘i’m sorry, i was wrong, i hurt you.’ then no, he hasn’t acknowledged it.
but if we talk in terms of techno actively acknowledging he did those actions, then he has. 
when tommy says that he killed tubbo, he agrees. he did that. he acknowledges that for both the red festival and for doomsday. when quackity confronts him, he again acknowledges that he did what quackity is saying he did.
he’s never said that he didn’t do those things.
so why hasn’t he said ‘i’m sorry’ or any variation of?
because chances are he’s not sorry. what i mean is, his beliefs haven’t changed so his actions on the 16th aren’t something he’s going to be sorry for. he still believes that government aka a coalition of a few people who hold power over others (so not just like. a group of friends chilling.) will only bring more harm.
doomsday is a little more complicated because he’s stated that it was a revenge thing rather than an anarchism thing.
but that brings me to the ‘changed behavior’ part
there’s a lot out there that says techno hasn’t been impacted by what’s happened, that he’s static, or otherwise hasn’t changed. i’ve kinda talked about this before but he has. 
after the 16th, he leaves and goes into isolation. for techno, it’s always been that violence is the only thing that gets people’s attention, the only thing that makes people listen to him, but there it didn’t work. it didn’t work and so he leaves and he makes a complete 180: he becomes a pacifist. he swears off violence. (and yes, he gathered wither skulls. i personally don’t see that as him not actually swearing off violence, but a result of his paranoia.) it’s a drastic and undeniable change, a direct result of what happened on the 16th.
but that backfires on him as well. they still come for him. and not only that, but it puts his best friend and horse in danger. then he feels he gets betrayed by a friend and someone he trusted. at that moment, dream offers to team with him to destroy those who hurt him. (and i love dream but it’s important to note that dream points out he hasn’t betrayed techno, something that’s a sore point for techno)
and he does.
and he goes back to his cabin.
and he changes again but this time it isn’t a complete 180. no, this time it’s a lesson learned. when he left for the north the first time, techno says the only way to be safe is to be alone. after doomsday, he tells phil to offer ranboo a place to live. he reaches out to niki. he still holds his beliefs but again he’s changing tactics. 
techno is an emotional person but he struggles with difficult conversations and showing those emotions. i’m not saying that anxiety is an excuse not to take responsibility for your actions. i am saying techno has acknowledged what he’s done and he has changed.
2.) techno doesn’t need to apologize from a narrative standpoint
or ‘he has had growth narratively and expressed emotions and i kinda think some of y’all are confusing agreeing with a character’s motives and beliefs for growth’
i think this is self explanatory, honestly, but one of the big complaints i see is that techno has no emotional growth narratively or no self reflection. and i find this to be incorrect. right now, i’d say his character is stagnant if only by virtue of him not being active, but prior to that he has had growth and self reflection, outlined in the previous section but to expand on that, a good example is in fact the snowchester visit. 
previously, techno has displayed the tendency to react to perceived threats with violence because he believes it’s the only way people will listen and the only way to protect what he cares about.
he doesn’t address anything he’s done to tubbo because he’s acknowledged it previously and narratively him going in to look around in an extremely casual manner not only makes sense for his character (aka someone with anxiety who also deals with paranoia and believes in his anarchist ideals) but is indicative of how he’s changed. 
techno has had self reflection, character-wise and narratively. 
what i think the issue is, his conclusion is that his beliefs aren’t wrong, but his tactics were, hence the reason he’s changed them.
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redjennies · 4 years
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re: that ask I sent @justalittlebluetiefling about the intersection of Jester and Essek's morality that's been making the rounds. ("don't be evil to me" vs. "I won't be evil to them.")
a couple weeks ago, I made a post about Jester as a force of personality that by philosophical choice breaks down and humbles the people around her and while writing it, I found myself struggling not to bring up Essek. because more so than Fjord, more so than Beau or Caleb or Veth or Yasha, more so than even Artagan, I truly think Essek is the prime example of how Jester's morality effects the people around her.
for the record, I don't think Essek could have only been charmed by Jester. I think Caleb and a mutual understanding also influenced him into re-evaluating his priorities. the friendship only went so far, but the ordeal of being seen tipped the scales. conversely, if the rest of the Nein had not taken any interest in him and he had only interacted with Caleb, he absolutely wouldn't have reconsidered anything. Caleb may not agree with what Essek did, but he does understand it and so the guilt of betraying a friend he didn't even know he could make weighs a little less on the heart.
but here we have Jester, who sends him goofy messages at all hours and opens her arms waiting for him to hug her, not so much forcing the friendship upon him but strongly suggesting he embrace it (pun only partially intended), and he does embrace it. as many people, fans and detractors alike, have pointed out Essek doesn't feel remorse about what he has done from an ethical standpoint. he is not a Good person. he doesn't even particularly seem interested in becoming a Good person, but he has decided to stop colluding with the Cerberus Assembly and he made that decision before the Nein confronted him. he was in the process of doing so when the Nein discovered him, and his only reason for doing so was that he would rather have his friends. all his work and pride is put aside because a group of people got in his head and made him question what he wanted to be doing with himself.
and Jester doesn't expect good people. Jester, herself, isn't big g Good. she operates on a mentality of "bring joy and balance to the world and if prideful people need to be tricked and knocked down a peg to loosen up than it's the moral imperative to do so" and she has used some questionable tactics to do so. while the two more recent arcs have her questioning her priorities and how she wants to apply these ethical principles, that's a different post and the point remains in the time Essek has known her, she only asks for him for friendship and not to be evil to her, and so Jester is the exact sort of person to shake someone like Essek up. he has someone he is both letting down by continuing to do what he is doing and who will accept him after a betrayal if he changes his behavior, and that sense of questioning and reevaluating for the sake of not being lonely any more and having joy in his life is exactly what Jester intends to rouse in the people she encounters.
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Redemption Never Came
Prompt: was rereading Tactical Retreat and I think it may just be time for that *conversation* with patton. he must have some kind of perspective here! I love your writing so much like you are an icon when it comes to writing- like you've taught me so much! <3!!
Thank you for the req! Also: 
it is CHECK POINT TIME MY DUDES~
unclench your jaw roll them shoulders back drink something go to the bathroom eat something look away from the screen for three goddamn CONSECUTIVE seconds
okay cool now you may proceed love you very much
Read on Ao3
Warnings: discussion of self-harm, nothing explicit
Pairings: focus on royality, background LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic I don’t care
Word Count: 4690
Redemption: the act of redeeming or the condition of having been redeemed.
Redemption: deliverance.
* * *
Roman and Patton talk.
“Pat, let’s go get L something to drink.”
 “But—I—“
 “It’s too much for him, Pat,” Virgil says softly, “with all of us here, he’s getting overwhelmed. Let’s go and then we’ll come back, yeah?”
 “O-okay.”
 Patton grips the counter as Virgil opens the cupboard. His glasses threaten to slide off the end of his nose. He can’t let go. He’ll fall.
 “Pop Star?” Virgil’s hand appears on his shoulder. “Pop Star, breathe, come on.”
 He manages to swallow, ducking his head to try and follow Virgil’s instructions. The hand stays on his shoulder, rubbing slow circles.
 “That’s it, Pop Star, just breathe, you’re okay.”
 Something twists in his chest.
 “I know,” Patton grinds out, “I know I’m okay.”
 Logan is the one who isn’t okay right now. And that—is that his fault too?
 “Hey, uh uh.”
 Patton frowns, looking up as Virgil tugs on his sleeve. Virgil’s brow is furrowed as he stares down at him.
 “Don’t do that,” Virgil chides gently, “don’t blame yourself for this.”
 “But I didn’t notice—“
 “Neither did the rest of us,” Virgil breaks in, forcing the glass into Patton’s hand so he can fill it up, “except for Remus. And Remus took a long time too.”
 Patton’s tongue swells.
 “It’s not on you,” comes more reassurance, and doesn’t it feel weird, “we’re all to blame here.”
 “We should’ve known,” he mutters, focusing on not spilling the water all over the kitchen.
 “Maybe. But we didn’t. And we can’t change that. We just gotta focus on what we can do now.”
 “I know that,” Patton grumbles, “I’ve said that to you guys more times than I can count, why—why am I struggling with this?”
 “You just found out that someone very close to you is hurting themselves,” Virgil says, “you’re upset.”
 “I know that too!”
 “Uh-huh, then you know that it makes sense that you’re not processing things as easily as you normally would.”
 He knows that too. Patton sighs and scrubs a hand over his face, pushing his glasses back up his nose.
 “He ate some at dinner, he should be alright, let’s just get him the water.”
 “Great.” Virgil glances around. “We should probably get, uh…other stuff too.”
 Right.
 Right.
 Before they can leave, however, Janus and Remus appear, dark looks on their faces. Patton’s heart sinks.
 “What’s wrong? Do we need the first aid kit?”
 “He’s got one in his room, doesn’t he?”
 Janus nods. But he’s not looking at either of them. Patton frowns, looking over at Remus, who looks about two seconds from smashing apart the fridge.
 “…kiddos?”
 Remus snarls.
 Virgil strides forward and takes Remus under one arm, bending close to mutter in his ear. As Patton watches, some of the tension goes out of Remus’s shoulders and he lets out a slow breath. He turns to Janus.
 “Is Roman still…with him?”
 Janus nods sharply. Something twists his mouth.
 “Janus, what happened?”
 “Roman is taking care of him,” Janus says quietly, his voice even, “we’re…here to check on you two.”
 Patton frowns. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
 “Correct.”
 “…so tell me?”
 Janus glances up at Remus. Remus turns away from Virgil, obviously just having been asked a similar question, and shakes his head firmly. Janus looks back at Patton apologetically.
 “Not mine to tell.”
 “Remus?”
 “No.”
 The dark weight in Patton’s chest expands. Only when Janus calls his name quietly does he realize he’s trying valiantly to break the glass in his hands. He sets it quickly down on the counter and wraps his arms around himself.
 “Sorry.”
 “You’re upset,” Janus mumbles, “we all are.”
 “So what’s going on?”
 Janus sighs. “Our resident nerd appears to be…trapping himself in logical paradoxes and attempting to resolve them in…unique ways.”
 “Let’s never call it that again,” Virgil growls. Janus nods in agreement. “What do we do?”
 “I don’t know.”
 “Lie.” Virgil scoffs when Janus looks up at him incredulously. “Come on, dude, I lived with you.”
 “I’m not going to tell you.”
 “Why the fuck not?”
 “Because it’s not my secret to tell,” Janus snaps, wincing at himself a moment later. Virgil waves him off. “Logan deserves that privacy.”
 “Yeah, ‘cause you two were so concerned about privacy like…half an hour ago.”
 “Yes, and that couldn’t be because the priorities of that situation were entirely different.”
 “Enough,” Patton says firmly. “This is the opposite of what we should be doing right now.”
 He picks up the glass of water.
 “Virgil, where are the weighted blankets?”
 “In the hall closet. I can—“
 “I’ll come with you.”
 Janus follows Virgil back up the stairs. Patton takes another deep breath and looks over at Remus. Remus doesn’t meet his gaze.
 “...Remus?”
 “Yeah?”
 “Come with me back to Logan’s room?”
 “Sure.” Remus follows a few steps behind. Patton can feel his gaze almost boring through his back. “Don’t spill the water.”
 “I won’t.”
 They arrive at the door and wait, listening for Janus and Virgil down the hall. Patton turns to see if they could be coming the other way only for Remus’s piercing stare to freeze him.
 “What?”
 Remus tilts his head and remains silent.
 “Remus, what are you doing? Is there something—what’s wrong?”
 “I’m trying to figure something out,” Remus says and the softness of his voice sends a chill down Patton’s spine, “and what I should do about it.”
 Patton swallows. “Remus, whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
 “Hmm.”
 Before Patton can answer whatever just happened, Janus and Virgil appear, carrying the weighted blankets. Patton spares one more look at Remus before reaching out to gently knock on the door.
 It’s a little bit of a blur after that. They walk in to see Roman cupping Logan’s face in his hands, having changed him into a soft shirt and bandaging his legs. Patton crouches down to help Logan drink and wraps him up in a protective cuddle as soon as Logan says it’s okay.
 They sit there like that for a while, long enough for both of Patton’s legs to fall asleep and not long enough for the ache in his chest to dull. Logan’s sobs trail off into Roman’s shoulder as he strokes his hand through his hair, still murmuring softly. He’s not sure when he gets the courage to reach and gently ask Logan if he can take his glasses off, but if the sleepy way Logan butts his head against his hand, it’s been a while. Poor Logan is exhausted, all but falling asleep on Roman. They get him into bed slowly, bit by bit, leaving just as gradually. Roman is the last one to leave, shutting the door quietly behind him.
 Patton makes his way to his room and goes through his getting-ready-for-bed process on autopilot. His walls are grayer than normal, the sun long since set, leaving the room dark and muted. He climbs beneath the covers, sets his glasses on the nightstand, and turns off the lamp.
 The dark feeling from earlier finally makes it to his head.
 How did he never notice?
 It’s not like Logan was a master at hiding the fact that he has feelings, surely the amount of times his voice softens when addressing them is proof enough on its own. And surely they all knew that he denies it so often that it’s not a question of how he feels about that.
 So why did he never notice that it wouldn’t be hard for Logan to decide that he needed to get rid of them, at any cost?
 He turns over in bed, burying his face in a pillow.
 Is that why Remus was mad?
 Remus being mad at him is not a comfortable situation. Remus is so uncaring about so many things—not that the kiddo doesn’t care! He absolutely cares about some things, his work, the others, Roman, goodness, so much—but when it comes to emotions and responses and good versus bad, well, Remus’s standpoint is normally…no.
 So why is Remus mad? Because he wasn’t doing his job and taking care of Logan? Well, Patton’s mad at himself for that too, but…
 He frowns, turning back over and staring at a spot on the wall.
 That doesn’t feel like that’s why Remus is mad. If Remus were mad at him for not taking care of Logan, he wouldn’t have hesitated to call him out on it. He would’ve cussed him out right there in the kitchen, not caring about what Virgil or Janus would’ve said. It would’ve been much harder for Virgil to calm him down—presumably, even though Virgil is very good at his job—and that certainly wouldn’t explain why Janus was acting strange, too.
 Janus is keeping something from him. Nothing new there, but this…this is different. He can feel it. Normally Janus would deny that he was hiding a secret, but he insisted that it wasn’t his to tell and…seemed to look to Remus to get that confirmation?
 Oh.
 Oh.
 Oh, no.
 Roman.
 Something’s wrong with Roman.
 Patton’s chest grows cold and he hunches over his blankets, eyes going wide.
 Roman is so good at helping. Roman is so good at helping. Patton can’t remember the number of times he’s walked in on Roman helping one of the others or Roman walking in on him helping someone else and immediately offering to help too. Letting Roman help Logan was the right choice, especially when Patton was already too upset to be useful. But…but…
 If Remus and Janus came downstairs to ‘check up on’ him and Virgil, something must’ve happened, and Roman—oh, Roman—
 Patton frowns.
 Logan is hurt. Very, very badly. Roman is helping him. But now…is Roman hurt too?
 What happened to Roman?
 Patton shuts his eyes and buries his face in the blankets again, trying valiantly to suppress a whine.
 Logan is hurt and they need to take care of him and they know that the only way they’re going to help Logan is if he tells them what he needs.
 Logan is talking to Roman and Janus and Remus. That’s good. Maybe he’ll talk to Patton too, then they could all help.
 But with Roman…
 Patton doesn’t know what’s going on. He goes to sleep and wakes up and still doesn’t know.
 He knows how to help Logan. Logan talks to them and tells them things now, or he’ll come seek them out, after that night, just to sit and be and make sure he’s not left alone in his room. He sits down with Patton one day and explains what’s been happening. Patton wells up, because of course, he’ll help, nothing’s wrong with Logan, he’s doing wonderfully, and yes, he can always come get reassurances if he needs them.
 That’s what Logan needs from Patton.
 He doesn’t know what Roman needs.
 At least…not until Remus knocks on his door and asks him to come to the Imagination.
 There’s a house. A very simple house. Remus knocks on the door and Roman’s voice calls from inside. Remus pushes open the door and ushers Patton inside.
 Roman sits at the table and stands when Patton walks in. He smiles softly and nods to Remus in thanks. Remus nods back, gives Patton a look that says he’s not going very far, and shuts the door behind him.
 “Hey, Padre,” Roman says softly, “come sit?”
 Patton sits. Roman doesn’t meet his eyes, staring at a spot on the floor. Patton swallows.
 “Roman?”
 “Hmm?”
 “Are you…okay?”
 Roman laughs under his breath. “No, Patton, I’m not.”
 Patton knew the answer to that. It still hurt.
 “Can I help?”
 “I don’t know.” Roman finally looks up at him and the second he does part of Patton wishes he’d look away again. “But I need to talk to you about that.”
 “M-me?”
 “Yeah, Patton. You—“ Roman sighs— “you and I have a lot to talk about, I think.”
 Oh. It’s this conversation.
 “Yeah,” Roman murmurs, “are you—do you think you can have it now?”
 Does he?
 “…yeah,” Patton says after a moment, “yeah, I’m ready.”
 “Good.”
 Patton sits up a little taller in the chair and folds his hands in his lap. Roman catches it and a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
 “You don’t have to do that, Patton.”
 Patton tilts his head. “What?”
 Roman waves a hand at him. “That. Sit up straight like I’m about to tell you off.”
 “…aren’t you?”
 “No. And even if I was, you don’t have to do that.” Something darker flitters across his expression. “Learned that recently.”
 Memories of every time Roman’s stood up taller when someone is talking to him flash across Patton’s mind. Something in his gut twists. But he makes an effort to speak anyway.
 “But you…” he swallows, “you’re in charge right now.”
 “I don’t want to be.” Roman holds up a hand to stop him. “That doesn’t mean you have to be in charge either. This is a conversation, Patton, at least it has to be if we’re going to do anything, which means equal footing. No one’s in charge, no one has more power than anyone else.”
 Oh. Okay. Patton takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, making an effort to relax into the chair.
 “Thank you.”
 Silence. Roman’s back to staring at the ground. Something’s coming. Something big is coming and Patton doesn’t know if he can handle what it is.
 As it turns out, he was right.
 “I self harm too.”
 A thunderclap. Patton’s breath catches in his throat and he only knows he’s gasped by the way his throat hurts.
 “Oh, kiddo, I’m—“
 “Don’t,” Roman says softly, too soft, why does he sound this calm right now?— “let me finish, please.”
 Patton slams his mouth shut. Roman doesn’t look up at him.
 “I self-harm for a different reason than Logan does,” he continues, “but we both do it because we think it’s right.”
 His gut twists again.
 “I’m Thomas’s hopes and dreams,” Roman continues, “I’m his Ego. I want what he wants and I’m supposed to help him get it.”
 One of Roman’s hands twitches.
 “But my wants aren’t important. Thomas’s wants are important. I’m supposed to be happy with what Thomas wants—with wanting what Thomas wants—and what I want doesn’t make Thomas happy.”
 He closes his eyes and takes a breath.
 “What Thomas wants—what the rest of you want—is for me to play the role. I am the Ego, I am arrogant, I am cocky, I am loud, I am annoying. I am soft enough to cave to your demands and to be poked and prodded in the right direction until I finally do what Thomas wants. I’m not supposed to want for myself, I’m supposed to want for Thomas, and when I don’t—“
 He cuts himself off. Swallows heavily. Opens his mouth again.
 “When I don’t, I am rejected. I am only wanted if I can produce work good enough for Thomas, if I act right, if I want what Thomas wants. To do that, I have to play the role. I have to feel the things I need to feel to do the work. A-and to do that, I need to…” he swallows again, “remind myself.”
 Somewhere, far away, something crows.
 “There’s no sainthood in satisfaction. Selfless is safe. Whenever I want something, I’m supposed to give it up to make Thomas happy. That’s what’s important. That’s why I do it.”
 Patton feels sick.
 Not just because what Roman is saying is enough to tear his heart out and leave him a sobbing, broken mess, but because he knows where most of it came from.
 “R-Roman,” he manages when Roman comes to the end of his speech, “oh, Roman, I’m so—I’m so sorry.”
 Roman huffs a laugh. “I know you are, Patton.”
 No. No, no, no, he remembers that tone of voice. Remembers Roman sinking out a moment later, his face as horribly resigned as it is now.
 Remembers the question he asked Janus at the end of that awful, awful day.
 “Do you think there's a limit on how many times someone can say sorry before you have to admit that they're just bad for you?”
 Roman huffs again. “I don’t think I’m the best person to ask to judge when someone’s bad for you.”
 Oh.
 The thing in Patton’s gut twists again.
 “What can I do,” he mumbles, “what do I do to make this better?”
 “I don’t know.”
 “You can tell me,” he pleads, “tell me what to do and I’ll—“
 “No.”
 “But, Roman—“
 “No, Patton,” Roman says again, “I can’t tell you what to do. One because I don’t know what would make this better, and two—“
 He cuts himself off as he scrubs his hands over his face.
 “Two, because I know what will happen if I try.”
 “…what?”
 “I’ll give in. Because I always give in,” he mutters sardonically, “because seeing you upset hurts, more than pretty much anything else, and it doesn’t matter what I have to do to make you stop hurting.”
 Patton’s chest throbs.
 “So I can’t tell you what to do,” Roman finishes, “because it’ll be a lie.”
 And Patton knows he’s right.
 Because the sight of Roman, right now, is enough to make him want to cave to just about anything to see him be alright again.
 “..can I hug you?”
 “No,” Roman whispers, “for the same reason.”
 Patton aches.
 “Why—“ he swallows and tries again— “why can’t we do this? Why can’t we help each other?”
 “Because we care too much,” Roman says softly, “we care too much about each other and too little about ourselves.”
 Something in his tone darkens.
 “…or at least we think we do.”
 Cold. Patton is cold now. Colder than ice. It burns.
 “God, Patton, do you even know how much I’ve sacrificed for you?”
 Roman’s anger, sudden and fiery, burns straight into Patton’s chest, muting him as Roman’s fist tightens in his lap. His glare threatens to scorch a hole in the floor.
 “I gave up everything for you, just to make you happy, I gave up the callback, I gave up my songs, I gave up my entire worldview for you, and you—you—“
 He jams his knuckle into his mouth for a moment and bites. Hard.
 Patton can’t even make a noise of protest.
 “I was never good enough for you, Patton,” Roman says after a moment, “there was always something else I needed to fix, something else I was doing wrong, something else I had to apologize for. And then you just stood there. After everything I’d ever done for you, you didn’t even stand up for me. You just looked at me like I should’ve known it was coming. That I…deserved it.”
 Guilt roils in Patton’s gut, pressing against his stomach, his throat, his mouth, his head, but one word lingers at the tip of his tongue.
 “…worldview?”
 Like someone flipping a light switch, Roman’s expression clicks into a softer fury. He sits back in the chair and for a moment, he looks as if he’s about to reminisce about something pleasant. What comes out of his mouth is anything but.
 “I wasn’t just afraid of Janus being accepted meaning I wasn’t,” he murmurs, voice far too gentle, “I was afraid because I remembered the last time the two of you agreed on something.”
 Oh.
 Oh.
 Oh, no.
 Growing up and seeing messages about one man, one woman.
 Growing up believing that people who didn’t feel that love were destined for something awful.
 Growing up seeing the isolation, the fear, the hatred, the violence.
 Watching Roman start to fantasize about boys.
 He remembers.
 He remembers Deceit—because he was only Deceit then—coming to him and telling him that under no circumstances can they ever act on these feelings. He remembers telling Deceit that they aren’t having these feelings, that they wouldn’t have those feelings, because they were wrong and Thomas was not wrong and so they would stop.
 He remembers the two of them hounding poor Roman about daydreaming about boys, wanting boys, wanting to make Thomas happy by imagining a future with a boy.
 Never mind that it wasn’t wrong.
 Never mind that it made Thomas miserable.
 Never mind that it was Patton that had the feelings first and Roman was just following Patton’s lead.
 Roman just nods.
 Patton opens his mouth to try and say something, anything, but he can’t. The guilt has eaten away his tongue.
 “But I can’t blame you for everything,” Roman says instead, still not looking at Patton—has he looked at him since he sat down?— “I was the one who looked at you as the unquestionable pillar of authority. I was the one who shoved that onto you when you didn’t ask for it. I was the one who made those choices. I’m as much to blame for this as you are.”
 “No.” Patton shakes his head firmly. “No, Roman, you’re not.”
 He takes a deep breath.
 “I...have a lot of influence over Thomas. I have a lot to do with how he reacts to things, how he sees the world and how we determine how to respond to it.” He sneaks a glance at Roman, whose gaze is still turned away. He tried to pretend that doesn’t hurt as much as it does. “And if I remember correctly...you tried to do something once to make me and Thomas happy because you wanted it too, and we...we told you off for it.”
 “With...?”
 Patton nods. “With...him. And I remember you refusing to take the wheel after that.”
 “I did,” Roman says softly, “because I realized I truly didn’t know how to make you—any of you—happy.”
 “I put myself in a position of authority as much as anyone else did,” Patton says, the tears—finally, he was wondering when they were going to show up—start to roll down his cheeks, “you’re not to blame for wanting to follow that, especially when I—when I told you that it was the right thing to do.”
 His glasses start to fog. He takes them off shakily and wipes them on his shirt.
 “But I’m done with that.” He puts them back on firmly. “I’m gonna figure out how to do this right, I promise, I’ll—I’ll redeem myself, I’ll be a good person.”
 Instead of Roman smiling softly and saying he looks forward to it, or Roman saying he doesn’t have to, or even Roman glaring at him and saying he’d like to see him try, Roman just huffs.
 “I think we need to get rid of the whole redemption arc thing too.”
 What?
 What?
 “What?”
 “It’s—“ Roman waves his hand— “it’s you saying you need to what, throw yourself at our feet? Repent? Atone for whatever wrongs you’ve done so we’ll welcome you back with open arms?”
 Patton nods in confusion. “So you’ll forgive me. So I can be good.”
 “Okay, but why is forgiveness a necessity for you to be good?”
 A pause.
 “Like, yes, working out how to stop doing bad things is something that I get, but why—why do we—why is forgiveness a crucial part of that?”
 “Because I’ve hurt you, and if I’m going to make it up to you—“
 “But that’s giving me power I didn’t ask for!”
 Roman pinches the bridge of his nose.
 “Look, forgiveness—in this case—is me granting your salvation, or something, or passing a judgment that absolves you of guilt, saying that you showed that you’ve changed and I judge you and then I agree that you’re enough better than you were, right?”
 He nods.
 “I don’t have that power! What gives me the right to sit there and say I have final say in whether or not you’re a good person? I’m not morally infallible! I’m not morally impartial! I’m not even Morality!”
 Roman throws his hands up and barks out a laugh.
 “And the idea that I could?” He shakes his head. “I have enough problems to worry about with that.”
 Patton’s eyes widen.
 He’s…he’s right.
 Goodness, he’s right.
 “B-but…” he swallows another wave of tears, “will you…you won’t love me if you don’t forgive me.”
 “Who told you that? Never mind,” Roman says, holding up a hand, “I know the answer to that.”
 He takes another deep breath.
 “Forgiveness and love are not the same thing, Patton,” he says softly, “I don’t have to forgive you to love you. I can love someone without forgiving every single wrong thing that they’ve done.”
 “You can?”
 “Virgil has hurt you. Logan has hurt you. Remus has hurt you. Janus has hurt you. I’ve hurt you.” Roman pauses. “Do you still love us?”
 “Yes,” he says immediately, “of course I do.”
 “There you go, then.”
 “But—“ he blinks to try and clear away the tears— “but what—if I’m a bad person—“
 “I never said that.”
 “—but bad people don’t deserve—“
 “Patton,” Roman cuts in sharply, “forgiveness and goodness aren’t the same either. I don’t need to forgive you to be a good person. Just because someone doesn’t forgive you doesn’t make you a bad person.”
 He softens.
 “And being a bad person isn’t as easy as you make it out to be.”
 “…what?”
 “What is courage?”
 Patton blinks.
 “What is courage,” Roman repeats, “tell me?”
 “It’s, um, bravery.”
 “Does that mean never being afraid, ever?”
 “N-no, it can mean being afraid and doing it anyway, because the reason you’re doing it is stronger than your fear.”
 “Then perhaps,” Roman says softly, “being a good person isn’t the absence of bad things, but choosing to do good things, over and over and over again.”
 The dark thing twists one more time.
 “So no, Patton,” Roman finishes, his eyes closing, “you don’t need to redeem yourself. You don’t need me to forgive you. And you’re not a bad person.”
 “How—“ he swallows— “how did this turn into you comforting me?”
 “Because that’s how this works, Patton.”
 “Not anymore it’s not.” Patton glares through the tears. “You did so well, Roman, right now, you told me everything and you didn’t give in, even when it was really hard for you and I know it was.”
 Roman is quiet.
 “You stood up to me and you stuck to your points, you let yourself get angry and you told me what you thought.” He swallows. “That was hard and so brave and I’m so proud of you.”
 He blinks furiously again.
 “I know you may not be a big fan of the word ‘deserve’—“ Roman huffs— “but you deserve to know that. That I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”
 “It’s funny,” Roman says, his voice strangled, “but for all my talk about you not needing my forgiveness, I…I—“
 Patton tears his glasses off to wipe frantically at his eyes and jam them back on.
 Oh.
 Oh, Roman…
 Roman is crying too. His face is shining, wet with tears.
 “…you know I’ve forgiven you already.”
 The dark thing in Patton’s chest shatters.
 “Can we be done,” he pleads, already reaching across the table, “can we be done, can I hug you now, please?”
 Roman looks at him.
 For the first time since sitting down, Roman looks at him.
 “…please?”
 There isn’t a word for the noise that tears itself out of Patton’s throat as he rushes around the table and just about tackles Roman into a hug. They fall to the ground, thankfully onto something soft, their arms wrapped too tightly around each other to tell who’s who. They’re both sobbing, apologies, promises, reassurances, everything, anything, words fumbling over and over each other until it’s just noise.
 It won’t be easy.
 It isn’t easy.
 But it’s okay.
 It’ll be okay.
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kyriolex · 3 years
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So I just read OrganicDinosaur’s translation for chapter 64, and I have THOUGHTS.
So Amado’s drugs let Boruto use Momoshiki’s powers without losing his free will. So he’s basically reached the point Naruto was at in Shippuden, where he can consciously use the ‘evil’ power long enough for cool fight scenes and then collapse dramatically afterwards. People will call this an asspull, but come on: Kishimoto wouldn’t give Boruto cool alien powers and NOT let him use them. It’s a shonen.
Naruto still has sage mode! I’m genuinely impressed. Him reassuring Himawari was badass.
Shikamaru is coming to fight Code. He’s putting up every death flag imaginable. Personally, I’m relieved that the designated OG martyr is going to be him and not Hinata or Konohamaru or someone I actually care about.
Hinata though…yikes…
Hinata wanted to come along too, and Naruto and Shikamaru basically told her to go back to the kitchen. Their reasoning is that if she dies, no one will be around to look after Himawari.
Organic Dinosaur stresses that Naruto and Shikamaru’s phrasing was respectful. But in my opinion, it doesn’t matter if the characters said “please and thank you.” From a narrative standpoint, the husbands are going out, and their wives are staying home wringing their hands and reassuring the kids.
Hinata has every reason to go. Her sons are in danger. She has the Byakugan for tracking. She has gentle fist to disable Code once Naruto beats him to a pulp. Even if she stayed on the sidelines, it would make tactical sense for her to come.
People might argue that she’s retired, but Shikamaru hasn’t seen combat in ages either. If anyone should stay behind in case Naruto dies, it should be the dude who is next in line to take the Hokage’s seat and can enact a peaceful transition of power. But Kishimoto is not going to let his favorite character be shown up by an ex-heroine. Hinata is the wife now. She’s emotional window dressing.
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rokhal · 3 years
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ANGR is about moral injury
Moral injury is the emotional, psychological, and spiritual harm that results from violating one’s core values such as fairness, justice, or loyalty. It’s a common component of PTSD, and an extremely common trope in fictional backstories.
All-New Ghost Rider explores moral injury as it is happening.
Eli Morrow tries to manipulate Robbie from the start, through snide comments, setting him up to go beat up gang-bangers after the shooting at Canelo’s instead of during, and trying to appeal to Robbie’s rather crude sense of moral outrage to provoke him into an indiscriminate rampage through Hillrock Heights. This has mixed results: yes, beating up gang-bangers, but no rampaging.
In Issue 7, Eli ups his game in two ways: actual body-snatching, and worse (from an emotional standpoint), tricking Robbie into killing a fellow street-racer over money.
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Gabe’s needs give Eli the leverage he needs to make Robbie violate the rules of good sportsmanship (possibly the only sophisticated moral code Robbie has) when Robbie steals winnings from a race fairly won. Why is this important?
Because now Robbie has a moral injury. Moral injury can erode one’s own confidence in discerning right from wrong: “If I did that back then, what justification do I have to refuse to do this, now?”
It’s the Slippery Slope effect.
Eli would have been well-practiced in this tactic, if we posit a backstory where he used and sold drugs. His real-life counterpart, Miguel Miranda aka Michael Keller, dealt coke and hung out in clubs where cocaine use was both a leash and a sort of initiation ritual. The illegal drug use serves as the initiation that lowers newcomers to the same moral standing as harder criminals. The rush from the drug is the reward for lowering themselves. Here, for Robbie, hurting or killing his fellow racer Colin is the initiation, and the money is the reward. Spending the money compounds the injury.
Moral injury erodes one’s confidence in discerning right and wrong. It also makes you feel like you don’t have the right to follow your own values, not after you’ve already betrayed them.
It’s entirely possible to resist the Slippery Slope effect by learning from your mistakes, and canon strongly suggests that Robbie does. We don’t see him street-racing after this incident--perhaps because the last two issues were too crammed, but also likely because Robbie never wanted to put himself into a position where he was tempted to hurt someone for money again. Robbie doesn’t bobble his way through life like Archie Cunningham, the hapless human clay sculpted into a murderer by Christine the OG evil car; Robbie plans and strategizes and shapes himself into who he thinks he ought to be.
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Robbie wants to be someone who deserves Gabe’s admiration. By letting Gabe’s ideals define his values, rather than his own past, Robbie can keep up the confidence he needs to move on from his mistakes and build his moral code back, stronger than before.
Eli keeps hammering on this, though.
On to Issues 11 and 12, which starts with Robbie and Eli apparently locked in a battle of wills over Robbie’s refusal to kill people, including Yegor Ivanov.
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I do think avenging the dead in ANGR is literally a magical binding mechanism, but it is another situation where Eli seeks to gain power over his host by leading them into moral injury. Literally, avenging Eli’s death grants Eli more dominance in his host’s psyche, but figuratively, violating his own boundaries by committing murder could lead Robbie to draw a false equivalence between Eli and himself, thus making him vulnerable to further manipulation. The slippery slope again.
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Moral injury doesn’t usually come with fire and lightening bolts and screaming. It also doesn’t usually come with a satanic serial killer’s eternal lust for murder. But it does come with feelings of worthlessness, resentment. Even a perverse desire to embrace the act that created the injury, to normalize it and accept it into one’s moral code to escape the shame it creates--a less painful, but more destructive option than simply acknowledging that one has done wrong.
Robbie does seem to adapt the killing of Yegor Ivanov into his moral code--if his deal with Eli is in fact a kill code.
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What does this mean? “I pick the murders”? Or, “We’ll beat the shit out of people and that’s it”? It all hinges on whether you think “destroy” here means “kill.” Which, in literal usage, it does.
But whether this is a kill code or not, Robbie still has the confidence in himself to set down boundaries. To cut himself a foothold in the slippery slope. Eli’s acceptance of Robbie’s deal shows that Eli believes he can keep knocking Robbie further downhill.
But did Robbie really violate his moral code when he killed Yegor Ivanov?
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Uh...there was probably a way to de-escalate this, but it would involve letting Yegor walk away with Gabe as a hostage. Gabe has always come first in Robbie’s rather clunky value system. I don’t think Robbie killing Ivanov gave Eli the psychological leverage he thinks it did.
Anyway what was I getting at.
Moral injury, and resisting and overcoming moral injury, is a pervasive, driving theme in All-New Ghost Rider. Not only from Eli using it as a manipulation tactic, but from Robbie resisting and overcoming moral injury, repeatedly, through his love for Gabe and his commitment to shaping himself into a person Gabe can rely on.
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balillee · 4 years
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a ramble on why i'm obsessed with the idea that dream's like some immortal chaos deity and what that might do for his character:
THIS MIGHT NOT BE THE FIRST TIME HE'S RULED THE WORLD
take into account the village that went mad and you have a massive opportunity for civilisations before and after that leading up to the events of the Dream SMP. Dream living in each one, propositioning himself as a ruler each time and watching on excitedly as he pushes people in the directions he needs them to go so he can watch them dissolve and crumble under his feet. He may have started out happy and friendly but eventually became bored of it, turning to sadism to get his kicks because he knows his life is unending and it won't have any longterm consequences. He's seen civilisations in poverty starve to death, he's seen and/or committed genocides, he's seen wars shatter nations beyond repair, and this just so happens to be the civilisation that we, the viewers, are allowed to see - it's good to assume from that standpoint that the end of the lore for the SMP is the death or the end of Dream as a character, so that finally a civilisation can learn to flourish.
It also makes sense for him to be obsessed with Tommy, something I've made a post about before, because you can argue that Dream's never met someone as chaotic, hopeful and determined as Tommy is. He's met people as ideologically kind and as methodically ruthless as Tubbo, he's met bringers of death that he can bend to his whim like Techno, he's met ruthless dictators like Schlatt, he's met tactically weak diplomats like Quackity, he's met easy-to-break revolutionaries like Wilbur - he's played with them all before and he's enjoyed messing with them. He knows how to manipulate and break them like it's the easiest thing in the world because he's done it countless times before.
But then there's Tommy. Dream's never met a Tommy before, someone who off the bat will take the chance, no matter how stupid, to disobey him. And when Dream asserts his dominance over this annoying kid, he doesn't break like the others, he resists to try and claim what's rightfully his. He inspires others by challenging the status quo and for the first time, he sees people break away and try to resist him rather than whoever he was hiding behind. It makes sense for Dream to love it every time L'Manberg loses, or when Tommy loses, because it's so satisfying to do something new to someone so hopeful for once.
Why do you think we focused on how Dream was able to gaslight Tommy for a week and a half? Because Dream found it more fun than anyone else he could have done it to - manipulating others is child's play, he's done it before because he's met every type of person. But Tommy? Tommy becomes fun because he needs to think of new and exciting ways to break him. Making him suffer is enjoyable, because it reaffirms Dream's power, makes him feel less threatened (and plus it's likely he could feel humiliated that out of everyone, it's this irrational sixteen year old that gets under his skin.)
Techno's fun, too, mainly because he can always manipulate someone like Techno, an unending anti-villain, to do exactly what they swore not to do and give Dream his power back. Techno is Dream's perfect weapon, and each person Dream's seen that looks like Techno did the same.
Someone like Karl, who reads the history books from civilisations past, makes Dream remember to hide his identity. Clay, Cornelius, Dream - they're all the exact same guy, it's just that he needs to change so that the history books don't pick up on it. (This kind of makes Karl threatening to Dream in a way and that's funny as fuck)
If when Tommy and Tubbo go to face Dream 'one last time' they don't find where Dream actually lives, I'll riot. We all joke about Dream's homelessness and I'm convinced that it's just a bit, bc I so hope that Dream lives in this inhuman-like mansion or citadel with traps at every turn. Instead of a bed, he just has a place where he recharges. He doesn't have a kitchen, he has a weapons inventory from nations past. He has a library of every book he's ever found left over like relics, so he can point at the journals and think - 'hey! that's me!' He has a museum of relics and trinkets like crowns, jewels and daggers, things with inherent worth - but this clingy sixteen year old weirdo has an attachment to two pieces of vinyl with no practical worth, just sentiment.
And Dream's thinking, for the first time, that's he's going to have the most fun he's ever had.
It also makes the idea that Ranboo and Dream know each other even more exciting because one could theorise that one of those ancient civilisations could have been the end, hence why, from a storytelling standpoint, it's closed off to everyone. Dream can't keep doing what he does so he has to hide the evidence, but he allows this half-enderman with memory problems out because he can't remember what happened, and Dream's going to torture him with that for kicks. Ranboo's the one that can stay around because not only is he fun to fuck with, but he can also not remember it. He might be able to put the pieces together about Dream's puppetmaster-like nature, but like hell could someone as nervous and depressed as Ranboo do anything about it on his own, let alone convince others of the same.
Conversely, Ranboo's anti-sides rhetoric could stem from having witnessed a civilisation from long ago tear itself to shreds because of Dream's ideological division of the people, and while he may not remember Dream as a person, or even that civilisation, it's most definitely made an impact on how he views the world. It could be why he has Dream as a voice in his head talking to him, because only now has he started to recognise it as Dream, because he's met Dream again.
ughhhghhhgghghh sorry rambling i just want this to be canonised so i can have even more of a reason to want to roundhouse kick the fuck out of c!dream also i want it to be so satisfying if and when tommy finally beats him n gets the discs back bc i don't know if literally any characters other than him, tubbo(?) and ranboo know that when dream's dead they'll literally all be free plus tommy deserves it he's seen enough
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morganas-destiny · 3 years
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(This turned out longer than intended lmao, I was just gonna write a little and then it turned into this long ass rant but anyway)
I had this idea,,, what if the balance of the world had taken a different life in exchange for Arthur's birth? Someone who was also of great importance to Uther so he still develops his intense hatred of magic but,,, Ygraine survives. And she can't understand him because magic gave them a son, their beautiful little son and she tries to make him see sense but Uther doesn't want to hear any of it. The Great Purge still happens and she hates every moment of it. But she can't move against Uther so all she can do is teach Arthur better values, to help him see the goodness in it. Arthur grows up, still rather arrogant because he's Arthur, but he's more in touch with his emotions and a lot more gentle since he actually had a loving parental figure growing up. As for Morgana, Ygraine knows. She knows she's Uther's illegitimate daughter. Her husband never told her but she knows. She sees the longing in Uther's eyes when he gazes at her while she's sitting in Gorlois' lap. She sees the affection he shows her and the way his eyes light up when Morgana smiles at him, a look he usually only spares his son in rare moments. She can't help but resent the girl for it. For hogging his attention and affection when Uther already has a child, a legitimate child who wishes for his father's love. But when Gorlois dies and Morgana is brought to the castlegrounds as Uther's ward, Ygraine feels empathy for the little girl, who looks so broken and lost. She accepts that she is part of their life now. A few years pass. Ygraine watches Arthur and Morgana grow up. She appreciates their bond. Enjoys seeing them play together, dance together at feasts, seeing Arthur (if reluctantly) train sword fighting with Morgana (against Uther's explicit wishes) and actually losing against her a few times. She swiftly averts drama when both nervously ask her on seperate occasions if they would be forced to marry in the future. They seem relieved upon hearing that no, you two are going to be more like siblings. Because she definitely doesn't intend for them to try and fall in love, only to discover their blood relation later. She never really got too close to Morgana, because although she accepts her as part of the family, she's still reminded of the betrayal whenever she looks at her. But then one day, she notices the dark circles under the girl's eyes and her sickenly pale face and starts to worry. She questions Morgana's maid Gwen about her state - hearing about the increasingly worse nightmares and the sleeping draughts from Gaius which don't have much effect. She's concerned but doesn't understand the full severity until one night, she takes a stroll through the castle and hears Morgana's screams and finds her crying terribly, alone because Gwen's out of duty. Ygraine's motherly instincts kick in and she just sits down next to her, to hold her. Their relationship gets a lot better and closer after that. More than once, Ygraine would get woken up in the middle of the night by a sobbing Morgana and without hesitation, she'd jump out of bed. She'd take her hand and guide her wherever - sometimes back to her chambers, to stay with her until she calmed down and sometimes out into the castle gardens, enjoying the cool night air. Sometimes she'd hold her because of a particularly bad nightmare and sometimes she'd hold her because Morgana was terrified about the strange feelings she had for her maid and friend Gwen - Ygraine would then explain to her that it was okay, that it wasn't unnatural or wrong to like another girl that way. They'd also bond over other things - they'd giggle about Arthur, roll their eyes at Uther, walk around the market with Gwen. Slowly becoming more and more like mother and daughter.
Of course, Arthur wouldn't be forgotten though. She's still incredibly close to him, he's still her beautiful, golden boy and she never fails to make him feel loved or spare time for him. She never fails to notice when something's wrong. So she knows there's more to it when he bursts into the room one day, complaining about a commoner who had insulted him, even had the nerve to try and fight him. She's barely ever seen him this agitated and she can't help but smile because somehow she just knows her son actually likes this commoner wherever he wants to admit or not (wherever he himself even knows it yet or not). She meets said boy some time later at the feast. Merlin seems like a kind and good young man - and he saved her son, which is reason enough to like him already.
That same evening she has to listen to Arthur's enraged rant because how dare his father make this stupid fool his manservant? However already in the next days she's able to get him to say the words maybe he's not so bad after all. And latest after the events of the Poisoned Chalice, it's obvious that these two would go through hell and back for each other. And she's incredibly happy to see Arthur have that kind of bond to someone. That's why she doesn't say anything to Uther when she sees Merlin use magic. (Because let's be honest, that boy is terrible at hiding his magic, it's a surprise that not half of Camelot knows already). She feels obligated to let Merlin know she knows but also ensures him, she would keep it a secret for him. The good mood doesn't last all too long. Shortly after, Morgana admits fearfully that her nightmares have been coming true and Ygraine suspects the worst. She asks Gaius for help, and, both knowing each other's standpoint, gets the confirmation that they are caused by magic. She's hellbent on making sure Morgana doesn't feel alone, and has someone to talk to. Despite Gaius' protests, Ygraine tells Morgana about her gifts and reassures her that it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Morgana, while relieved about the support, isn't convinced - she doesn't feel safe, knowing Uther's view of magic. What follows are many, many fights between Uther and Ygraine. Whenever he as much as squints his eyes at the word magic, she explodes. She attempts to change his mind but really all it does is raise suspicion. Uther voices this suspicion, asking why she's suddenly so passionate about the topic. He knows she never agreed with the elimination of all magical beings but she's never been this vocal about it. He suspects that she's covering for someone and she'd like nothing more than to scream at him that yes, yes she is but it's not her place to say anything. What's sure is there are two people close to her family have magic and are in constant danger. And she decides she's finally putting an end to it. She changes her tactics. And after many discussions and countless attempts and most importantly, the admittance that she knew about his affair, she convinces Uther to tell Morgana the truth about her heritage and then to pubicly declare her as his own. To give Morgana a sense of security. Ygraine knows, no matter how many fights and arguments they've had in the past, Uther loves Morgana and if anyone could change his heart, it's her. So after some more comforting and encouraging, Morgana comes clean about her magic to Uther. He's obviously shocked and his first instinct is to push her away but Ygraine, at last, after over 20 years of persecution of magic, makes him see that it's about the person, not the power. That sorcery doesn't equal evil. And so, after more than 20 years, magic is legalised again. Arthur and Morgana are able to rejoice in being blood related and neither of them are infested with their father's hate. Merlin is able to come out about his magic and get accepted without being manipulated into making dumb choices by that giant lizard. Morgause wouldn't have a reason to act against the Pendragons anymore so she might just come to Camelot, simply to meet her half sister. All of them would lead happy lives. There'd still be obstacles because Uther is Uther and that won't change so aspects like the Round Table and "anyone can become a knight" would still have to wait until Arthur's king. But the time until that happens would be so much more peaceful. All because of a mother's love.
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magpie-of-a-birb · 3 years
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@paint-the-ravenclaw tagged me in on sorting Sanders Sides characters (that post is here), and I decided to make a whole new post for it. Here we go-
Editor Magpie here! It's a good thing that I made this a post of its own, cuz boy is it long. Patton's section took up three pages hand-written, if that tells you anything.
(Also, beware spoilers. If you're not up-to-date, I may reference things you haven't seen yet)
Patton
I'm starting off with Patton because, quite frankly, what he's got going on is fascinating. Sad, but fascinating.
He's a very obvious badger primary, but he also has a badger performance layered over top of it. If you've seen The Good Place, or listened to the @sortinghatchats podcast episode where they sorted TGP characters, you'll be able to see that this is the same as what Tahani did.
Patton's primary is for his community, but he also has an idea of what his primary should be. Not "should" as in aspirational, but "should" as in expectation. So he makes a badger primary performance, something that says "look at me! I'm a good person!" but creates self-loathing because he believes that he isn't living up to that performance. And here's the kicker:
His performance is exploding.
He thinks that, to be a good person, he (and Thomas, by extention) has to sacrifice everything for others. That is the badger primary performance that he thinks he should be.
Disclaimer: this is an unhealthy example of badger primary. No house is inherently healthy or unhealthy. There are many healthy, thriving badger primaries, and they are beautiful, just as every other house is.
And his exploding primary put a lot of strain on his badger secondary (he's a caretaker and loves courtier badger). He has to work hard and show up for everyone all the time and he... can't. It's not possible.
The fact that he cannot humanly live up to his own expectations makes his secondary start to burn. You especially see that in the courtier aspect of his secondary. He feels like he should be the "optimistic, goofy dad-friend" and he loves using courtier badger for it. But he burns out from being there for everyone, that face becomes unreliable in courtier badger because he can't feel it all the way down, he's not happy. So his badger starts to burn, and what does he do?
He takes up an actor bird model to handle the strain. He's used to the "happy, goofy dad" mask that it's easy for him to shift it from courtier mirroring to an actor role.
And whew boy, is that actor bird obvious in Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux. When it's clear that the others aren't siding with him, Patton isn't able to shift to match the change to make a stronger argument - as a snake or mirroring badger could - so he doubles down on his role.
"Remember, guys, I'm morality. My role is to make correct moral choices. Look! This is my good and helpful mask! I'm good and helpful!"
He does that all the way until he's sure that it's a lost cause, and that's when he snaps. But his snapping isn't drawing what he knows of the others, it's not using things that he knows will hurt them, not as we expect him to (especially since he uses similar tactics to manipulate Thomas into doing the right thing).
He transforms. Because he can't be angry. He's not allowed to be angry. Being angry is wrong. If he's angry, according to his exploding primary performance, then he's not a good person.
So he transforms. Because he can only be angry if he isn't himself. Patton chooses not to be Patton. He chooses to be a monster. Instead of translating his thoughts to fit the role (like with his dad role) he's using the role to justify the feelings.
Another disclaimer: like with primaries, no secondary is inherently healthy or unhealthy. There's even an example of healthy actor bird later in this sorting.
Logan
First off, his bird secondary is obvious. He loves collecting and using things. He loves lists and plans. His insecurity stems from his tools not being enough. He is a bird.
His primary is a bit more difficult because he doesn't usually make decisions from a moral standpoint, that's not his job. It's clear that he's not a felt primary, and due to the lack of intensity in general, I think snake can be ruled out. So, bird primary.
Virgil
His system is very lion primary. His gut says that something is wrong and he acts immediately.
His tactics are very bird secondary, preferring to construct a reasonable argument about why Thomas should be anxious over forcefully shoving panic at Thomas (which he does do when he sees the situation as an emergency and he needs Thomas to stop/do something now, but it's not his preference).
On top of that, Virgil has a birdy mask up at the beginning of the series. It's one born out of duty (lion primary), so he embodies the role that he's expected to play as anxiety (a bad guy who's goal is to make Thomas scared) instead of being himself (someone who's trying to keep Thomas safe). So he plays the role until he's shown that he doesn't have to.
Also, look at how he acts in the debate between him and Logan. All of his snap-back retorts are of the same type: general, playground insults. They're predictable and formulaic, like a default response a bird may have when they don't know how to respond while in a given mask. Basically: he's falling back on pre-set common phrases that the character he is embodying would say when he's not "translating" his thoughts into those of his character fast enough.
On a side note, I think that's how you differentiate between actor bird from the other forms of masks: playing a role with a tangible name.
Anyways-
Roman
LION BIRD LION BIRD LION BIRD
He hoards music, plays, movies, and musicals like a corvid and references them like nobody's business. His quick wit is in wordplay ("panic at the everywhere" much?) which, while not indicative of a bird secondary, is bird-flavored icing on the cake.
He lives in actor bird, and while his role isn't always applicable, I think that Roman is an easily-visable example of healthy actor bird. He loves and takes pride in his roles and doesn't solely use them as a shield (like Patton and, to a lesser extent, early Virgil).
He's a bit of a glory hound, he's attracted to the glamor that being a well-known creative and a hero entails, and that feeds into his default Hero/Prince in Shining Armor role. But it's wrong for him to pursue that at the expense of those he loves being miserable (see: Selfishness vs Selflessness).
Remus
Remus shares his primary with his brother. However, he's a horizon/fey lion. Everything that is fun is good which, when combined with his loves-to-mess-with-people snake secondary, spells pain for everyone else in a garish neon-green sign that smells vaguely of a landfill and intentionally leaves glitter everywhere.
Janus
Janus is a double snake. His person is Thomas, and anything is okay (especially deception) if it's to protect him.
Bonus sort: Thomas
Thomas is an interesting character. Because he is a character, within the context of Sanders Sides, that is. Sanders Sides!Thomas is not the same as Real Life!Thomas, even if the former is heavily inspired by the latter. As such, I think that there's enough to sort Character!Thomas.
Character!Thomas is very much a badger primary. It makes sense that he'd match primaries with Patton, his morality, but more so, the entire premise of the show has heavy healthy badger messages. Most episodes are about choosing the right thing to do, and Thomas makes that decision depending on what his community (the Sides) think. He's clearly a felt primary, but if he were a lion, then the "get input from others" aspect of the show would not be as effective.
His secondary is less obvious, but I have to go with bird. Most of the Sides have bird secondaries, and as they're aspects of Thomas, that would logically reflect his secondary to some degree. And he has many of the same hoards as the others, joyfully drawing on and pointing out references to things.
There may possibly be a badger (particularly courtier badger) model in there, but I can't confidently say that it's the case.
In Conclusion:
Patton: badger primary with an exploded badger primary performance. Semi-burned badger secondary with an unhealthy bird secondary model (specifically actor bird)
Logan: double bird
Virgil: lion bird
Roman: lion (glory hound variant) bird
Remus: lion (fey/horizon variant) snake
Janus: double snake
Thomas: badger bird with a possible badger secondary model
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