#it doesnt have the same staying power as i wish it did

[depvotee]

i will not stand green team in my house. i swear to god.

[jammiesjars]

MDNI

Warnings: Accusation of Infedelity, heavily unedited writing (wrote this in a power outage in my notes app xx), fingering, eating pussy, dirty talk, dumbification if you squint REALLY hard.

One message is all it took for you to spiral.

Outrage was an understatement. A month, a single month, into Price’s deployment you had recieved a message from an unknown number. They insisted of Price having an affair with his so-called ‘receptionist.’ Being his wife, you didnt believe it. You and John had been married for years now. He wasnt that kind of man! (You hoped.)

Weeks passed and wheels start turning. Seeds of doubt had started digging into you. The late nights he had stayed at base before his deployment, only sending as much as a quick text of ‘Be home late. Dont wait up.’ Or the necessary secrecy between what happens at his job or deployment were starting to plant ideas in your head you wouldnt have ever had if not for that message. Youre being worn down, and its killing you. Its not like you could ask him; being thousands of kilometres away without any time to do as much as glance at his phone.

So the emotional resentment grew. You find yourself wondering how he could do this to you, crying in your empty home that housed the both of you not long ago. Before you even come to terms with it, Youve packed your bags and lawyered up, letting your resentment fester for far to long without any outside input.

On the third month of Prices deployment, you drive yourself up to base with one intention; leave the divorce papers on his desk to find when he comes back and to leave without confrontation.

Security on base knows you as ‘Price’s missus’ by now, offering a small wave and a smile as you walk by and into your husbands office. You put the papers on his desk, that frustration and hurt bubbling up all over again. He has your wedding photo framed on his desk and it only hurts more. What did you do to deserve this?

You turn to go, heading back towards his door when you hear muffled laughter and the sounds of gear being unzipped and dumped from down the hallway. Theyre back. You pick up the pace, praying you can slip out before he gets close enough to notice. You reach for the door handle, but the door opens before you can even grasp it.

Shit.

And there he is, your eyes drinking in the sight of the awfully more rugged version of your husband; beard outgrown and messy with tired eyes that light up at the sight of you.

That light dies as soon as sees just how mad you look.

“So youre telling me, one message is all it took to lose all fucking faith?” Price practically growls, fingers rubbing at his temples. Hes sat in his chair with you on the other side of his desk, just as furious. “Everything makes sense! The staying late at base, the short messages and lack of updates when your deployed!” You hiss, frustration bubbling over making anything small seem huge.

Price takes a deep breath, a futile attempt to calm his temper. “The shit I deal with doesnt sleep. Theres reasons i stay back that you will never know, love. The law itself, wont let me tell you. Same goes for messages. Im sorry i dont have the time to let you know im okay when im deployed, god knows i wish I did.” He scowls, his gaze so heated and intense that you almost look away despite your own fury.

“And what about this receptionist huh?”

Your tone has changed, soft and shaky. vunerable.

Price’s expression softens, but he doesnt say a word, simply rounding his desk to pluck you out of your own chair and putting you down in his office chair. He sinks to his knees in front of you, hands rested on your thighs. Blue eyes peer up at you, sickeningly sincere. “Love, I dont interact with her unless necessary. This isnt some romance movie bullshit.” Your heart is working overtime, lips parted as guilt bubbles. “You- you understand where my doubt is coming from, though…right? Everything lined up perfectly, and-“

Price simply tuts. “We’ve talked about that pretty little head of yours overthinking too much, havent we?” You freeze, throat drying. You nod. “Answer me, sweetheart.”

“Yes-“ you croak. “We have.”

Price grunts in approval, his hands now running up and down your thighs.

“Have you been feeling neglected, hm? Is that it? My sweet wife needs some attention?” Price rumbles, his large, calloused hands that have been marked by countless battles now playing with the hem of your skirt.

“You’ve got my attention now, luvie. No need to play these stupid games with me.”

Your mind is already growing hazy; your husbands words making you almost want to forget about this whole incident. A finger hooks onto the waistband of your panties, bringing you back to the moment.

“Stupid games? John i was prepared to divorce you-“ he shushes you, dragging your underwear down your thighs, then your calves and over your shoes before slipping them into his pocket. A cheeky smile graces his face. stupid muttonchops.

“Must’ve left you alone for far too long then, if you were willing to take it this far.”

He slings your legs over his impossibly large shoulders, making you squeak as your pulled forward on the chair.

“Wouldve come home and fucked those stupid thoughts straight out of your head if i had known you were having doubts about my loyalty, sweetheart.”

He presses a messy kiss to your clit, making you gasp. He grumbles something incoherent (“Me? Cheat? Silly girl.”), before licking a long stripe up your neglected cunt, causing your hips to buck. The taste of you after going months without has price groaning into your heat. He eats like a man starved, a mix of desire to prove his loyalty and that he finally gets to taste his wife after being away for so long.

Hes fuming, really. Toward you? No.

Towards whatever stupid bastard sent you that message. He’s glad you didnt notice him slip your phone in his pocket, because he knew you’d be against him hunting the fucker down. You just need a distraction to keep that pretty little head thinking too hard. And he’ll give you just that.

“Oh, my poor sweet wife…” He grunts, before sucking on your clit with a renewed fevor. He pulls off with a lewd pop, two thick fingers replacing his previous ministrations. You’re squirming in his office chair, mind hazy and hips bucking.

“Thinkin’ I was out here cheating on ya’… you know better, love.” He tuts.

His fingers curl so nicely into that spongey spot that makes you see stars. “M sorry-“ you’d slur, “I didnt believe it when I first saw the message I promise-“ you gasp as price presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing in small tight circles.

“Lovie, you stormed in here with divorce papers. Dont tell me you didn’t believe it.”

Your head tilts back as you pant, small gasps slipping past your lips.

“There we go.” Price coaxes, his fingers picking up their pace.

“Wouldnt even cross my mind to look at another woman when my gorgeous girl looks like that as I stuff her cunt full of my fingers.” He coos, watching your face intently as your release crashes down; intense enough to make you writhe and moan.

Price pulls his fingers from you, licking them clean before getting up off his knees. Your throat runs dry, bracing for whats to come even as you grapple your bearings. You’re mentally preparing for Price to be dissapointed, upset with you, maybe even mad.

He analyzes your expression, leaning back against his desk. His eyes scrape over your small form sat in his chair.

“Im not upset, love. That pretty little head of yours had months to overthink that message without a voice of reason.”

Price tilts your chin up.

“Lets just not have to do this again, hm? Then i’ll be mad.”

Its sounds like a threat, but it isnt. Price knows he’ll always be there to talk his beloved wife down from the edge.

[scaredofbrits]

having the afton men as your bosses

william afton & micheal afton hcs

nsfw headcannons will be colored red.

william afton ✦

• he was a very serious man, to say the least. he didnt want any of his workers to see him act like a goof.

• "none of you will be prepared for the real world if you cannot behave correctly at your job."

• but then you came along. and every bit of respect he had for his reputation was shattered. not with other people, of course, but with you.

• instead of seeing william as your tough boss, you saw him as your literal reason to wake up everyday.

• and to him, you were his pretty little assistant. his good girl, even.

• sometimes, he'd give you extra work just to see you everyday.

• and other times, that work would lead to staying at the job extra late.

• once you would finish all that hard extra work, he'd reward you in various ways.

• "you did such a good job for me." he'd grin as he fingered you with all his power and speed.

• "my slutty little assistant fucking herself on my fingers.."

• his praise and degrading could drive anyone crazy for more.

• when you two would have sex during work hours, he'd tease you about noise the whole time.

• "shhhh, you don't want all your friends to know how cock thirsty you are.." and he'd cover your mouth.

• he made more than sure to fuck you so rough that your moans were extremely loud, and youd leave his office embarrassed.

• but what you didnt know was that the walls were soundproof. he just liked fucking around with you.

• nothing surprised him more than seeing your whore side for the first time. and oh did he love seeing it.

micheal afton ✦

• he was super sweet to all of his workers. bringing gifts, joking around, and being kind overall was his specialty.

• "how did you all sleep today?" he'd say over the intercom with genuine curiosity.

• once you had become his assistant, he could not resist you. a different side of him came along. a more needy one.

• he was always buying you gorgeous flowers every single day. and even though you were his assistant, he demanded nothing from you.

• and since he was an amazing conversation starter, you'd usually be found sitting on top of his desk talking to him.

• when your shift was over, he'd always say "time goes by so fast, doesnt it?" and that was his trick to make you stay.

• "a few more minutes, please? i'll do anything, gorgeous, please." was his other go to.

• he loved seeing you on top of his desk like you owned it. and he also loved seeing you mess around with his name plate on the desk. just fidgeting with it.

• and he wished youd fidget with him. just use him and treat him like your little fuck toy.

• one time, you wore a skirt to work. and of course that pervert kept sneaking glances at your revealed thighs and panties. those sights made his cock throb.

• and when he got horny? oh you were in for it. so much begging. "touch me please please please. look at how hard i am baby, please."

• "its okay if you dont wanna touch me, i'll touch myself and you can watch. tell me thats okay mommy. please."

• it was definitely hard to say no, especially with those puppy eyes he'd give. he acted like you getting rid of his boner was the best thing to ever happen to him.

• and when youd suck him off occasionally, he would absolutely lose it. he loved your mouth so much and he felt the need to repay you the same way.

• if you pleased him a certain way, he'd try his hardest to make it up to you the same way. suck him off? he'll eat you out. hand job? you get fingered.

• at the end of the day, all he wanted to do was be a good boy for his gorgeous girl. sometimes flowers didnt feel like enough to please you, so he had to try other ways.

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok so this is a question that i wish was discussed more in other spicy spaces without getting either too careful or too obviously an expression of people's unrealistic fantasies. what do you think attracts will to mike, both in terms of emotional and physical attraction?

there's lots of discussion about mike's attraction to will because that's thought to be what we need more of in the show, and people are happy to talk about will's physical attributes like his ass. but when will's attraction to mike is discussed, its always in the context of emotion and love and friendship becoming romantic, but never physical. there's not much in the way of will's fantasies or him being allowed to have a purely physical aspect to his love for mike, which is so sad to me because it reflects the thematic castration of will in the show (@therainscene did a great post on this about the lack of posters and sexuality in will's room etc).

i personally think the dnd alter egos give lots of hints about why will is emotionally attracted to mike, but at the same time, physicality and presence is a huge part of medieval/roleplay, so Will MUST have thought about mike's physicality in his fantasies, surely?

i wonder if there's not a lot of spec on this because people find there to be a dissonance between finn/mike's body and what they think mike's character represents in the show to a negative degree? whereas for will, even though his muscle development isnt **exactly** in line with will's character, society considers muscles to be a good thing so the change doesnt upset anyone. (not to say muscular men can't be sensitive, but the duffers probably would have chosen him to remain more delicate if they had a choice)

i personally think that mike's awkwardness due to finn's physicality has always been present and a big part of what makes the show so endearing, esp in s1. its only because there's an expectation for blockbuster scale epic fight scenes now, big music, big action, that people start to think mike needs to be this Baddie. I like the idea of him having a moment, but i dont need him to be wielding a sword like a badass and Looking Cool 24/7. Mike isnt traditionally cool, i need him to stay that a nerd lol.

maybe this is also why i think there would be something so powerful about a byler sex scene, because the more awkward/realistic/nerdier the better? it doesnt need to be traditionally sexy, but it WOULD be sexy just because of the fact that it would be mike and will and them getting together is intrinsically sexy.

i hope this makes sense lol sorry for the essay

EXCELLENT TOPIC! So many good points. You're absolutely correct about all of this - there is a definite line it seems, with more focus given to how Mike views Will, versus what made Will develop feelings and attraction to Mike, beyond the "we're best friends and I want you in my life forever"-ness of it all. I love talking about what Mike loves about Will, but let's hype up the other side of this coin.

This may sound so odd, but I genuinely think sometimes it's forgotten in general spaces that Will is gay? And what that actually means. Like he's a gay guy. Who is attracted to men and ultimately wants to be intimate with men (even if in present time, this want is being internally and externally denied). And Mike is a man (big juicy can of worms re: the gnc debate, save that for another essay, but I think my stance is visible between the lines here) and Will wants him. We all saw how Will looked at Mike in the desert. Dirty, white t-shirt probably transparent in spots from sweat, heaving breath as he did all the work shoveling for his boy bestie. Will doesn't have to lift a finger. Will gets to pretend to move several grains of sand around. Will looks at Mike with lust in his eyes. That is the boy he's grown up with and had been crushing on as a kid, that's the guy he's fallen in love with. And Mike has grown up. Still awkward, but developing into someone that Will not only wants to spend forever with, but wants intimately.

I like to imagine them as kids, maybe around the age they are introduced to us as in s1. What are they, 12? It's been awhile, but I remember being 12. I remember my first crushes, and they happened even earlier. Will has several male friends - each with their own appealing attributes. I think any of the party could be cute to a young, sexually confused nerd. But Will crushes on Mike. His first friend, the face he can imagine perfectly when he closes his eyes, able to draw him from memory because our boy is an artist. Little Will, drawing in sketchbooks from the early years. Why is it so important that he gets the shape of Mike's lips just right? Why are his eyes the best eyes he's ever drawn? Why does he spend so long perfecting a technique to capture the dark swoops of his best friend's hair? He's caught himself staring too long at Mike's mouth on occasion. He's caught himself suppressing a shudder when Mike's arm is so casually thrown around him, holding him close. He smells like a boy. He likes that a lot more than whatever girls douse themselves with. Uh oh.

Mike is not conventionally attractive. Neither is FW, either. Not to say he's bad looking (I find him very very attractive), but honestly - he's different. He's not like the cookie cutter Ken, the action figure, the Hollywood poster boy. He's got unique features and is awkward in his own skin. I don't think girls (and closeted guys) at Mike's school are falling at his feet. "I'm not exactly Mr. Popular." But they still look. As opposed to Jason, the All-American Juxtaposition. Jason - classically and cliche-handsome, the prototype boyfriend for the prototype cheerleader. If Will was at Hawkins High that year, I'm sure he'd give Jason a passing glance. He's an attractive man. Will's heart can belong to one and his eyes can appreciate attractive people in his vicinity. But Mike. Mike. Slightly taller, his protective personality bleeding into his physicality. I can see Will being into the protectiveness as a physical manifestation. Mike can maneuver him, can probably hug him tight and lift him up. He's not some action hero, or a muscled heartthrob but he's not as pathetic as fanon so pretends. I don't think he's gonna be an over powered badass by any means, but he can wield a sword and try and even if he's not that great at it. He's not hesitant. And clearly Will knows this. He painted it. He's into it. Mike, able to lead them into battle. Mike, awkward but endearing and strong. Mike with his big hands and lean muscles and that mouth that Will's eyes are drawn to like magnets and he hopes he's not as guiltily obvious as he feels when he watches his best friend orbit around him.

He may hide his attraction to men, with no posters of them on his walls. Diverting his eyes when he notices an attractive man in public. But he has music and cinema. Albums and magazines and movies. Mike looks more like the men in his favorite bands than the men playing professional sports. Bowie is so much cooler. He's odd, he's different. He's hot. Will likes the unconventional and he likes the familiar things that make him feel good and safe. Mike makes him feel safe. Oh, how he wants Mike to make him feel good.

Will had a crush on his best friend, when he first started being plagued with the realization that boys were cute. Will fell in love and when he re-met his best friend in the airport - his friend has grown up hot. He's pissed off and heartbroken that they haven't reached out to each other more, but he can't keep his eyes off Mike. He's dreamed about him and sketched him from memory so many times before Spring Break - but in the flesh? Everything and more. Will wants him.

[hikarry]

Hi, yes, it's Spencer again with his "what's ifs" and silly scenarios. Are you comfortable? Fantastic. Now lend me your ear for a sec *cracks knuckles*

In an universe where Adam followed the plan and Aziraphale and Crowley were equally as incompetent at stopping the Apocalypse, the Holy War would happen, obviously

Aziraphale would be given the leadership of a platoon and Crowley would be given a weapon he hasn't used in 6000 years and wished he never would have to again

They fight, because it's kill or be killed, ever without knowing if the other is still alive or not, afraid and yet keeping an eye out for the other for no other reason than their desire to see each other at least once more

It's like reliving the same trauma all over again, but this time you know your best friend is across enemy lines and you don't know if you will be the one to kill him or not

The Earth is destroyed. The humans die as collateral damage and the planet becomes nothing but a wasteland

Whoever wins is irrelevant. Both sides have a high number of casualties and the survivers of the losing side are taken as war prisoners

Maybe if Hell wins, the remaining angels will be turned into slaves for Satan and other high ranking demons. If Heaven wins, the demons would be locked up for all eternity in the fire pits that used to be Hell, watched by angels

Crowley and Aziraphale survive, regardless of the scenario, but they have no idea the other did. At the end of the war, free or not, they mourn each other, that is, until they find each other again

Maybe Aziraphale became one of Dagon's slaves and, when Crowley figures out, he does everything in his power to make sure he is safe (or as safe as one can be in this situation) and bends over backwards to try and take him away from under Dagon's power

Aziraphale, in the version where Heaven wins, is one of the angels guarding the pits (flaming sword, remember?) and he SEES Crowley. He starts to pay more attention to that specific pit where Crowley is imprisoned with other demons and tries to come up with a plan to get him out of there

The point is: they succeed

Eventually they are reunited and it's strange. They probably haven't seen each other in many years, both have their own scars and new traumas. Their 6000 years on Earth together feel like another life entirely, but here they are. At first they look at each other from a few feet apart. They analyze each other's faces like it's the first time they are seeing each other.

Aziraphale feels tears running down his face and Crowley gives a step forward, reaching out with his hand, regretting it almost as soon as he lifts it. But before he can put it down again, he is gifted with a sudden armful of angel, being hugged in an embrace thight enough that if he was human some of his ribs would have shattered for sure. He stays still for a second or two, but eventually gets his arms around Aziraphale, hugging him just as tight.

"Angel." It comes out as a whisper against Aziraphale's hair, his voice rasp as he fights his own emotions. Like he thought he would never get to say that again.

"You're alive." Aziraphale whispers back, hidding his face on Crowley's neck, whom doesnt resist and runs one of his hands through the blond curls.

"So are you."

They look at each other for a moment, self conscious of their positions, and both take a step back away from each other.

"...What do we do now?"

Crowley offers him a sad smile.

"The Earth is long gone." He offers Aziraphale his hand. "But Alpha Centauri is still out there somewhere. No one would find us." Aziraphale looks between his hand and his face. "What do you say, angel? Just the two of us. No more angels, no more demons, no more wars. Just us."

Aziraphale looks him in the eye for a moment or two, before opening a small smile and reaching out to his hand.

"Just us."

*closes curtains*

Oof okay *sits next to you* ya know I keep meaning to write short lil stuff to amuse myself and my what ifs but Crowley and Aziraphale kinda get a life of their own and the writing gets out of my hand. But, hey, thank you for your ear, I will probably need it again at some point but you can keep it for now

[astroyongie]

Twice January Reading 2024

note: please take it lightly

Jihyo

Love: like on her last reading, she is still dating her person (someone who is way richer than her) and she is having he fun of her life. Happy with her situation, she is taking all chances and living in a perfect luxury at the moment 

Career: expect Jihyo to have more solo comebacks this year and her working on things separated to twice projects. She is also cultivating and protecting her idol image a lot 

Self: she had some rough time lately, and she is still trying to overcome this. I think we are talking here of a problem or grief concerning her family or something related to her family in general that she had ben trying to heal herself from 

Nayeon

Love: I believe that Nayeon broke up with her partner since she seems like she has been avoiding them for some time now and she doesn’t want to talk about them. She is also having a inner conflict, wondering if leaving them was a good choice 

Career: Nayeon too, expect her to have some solo activities this year and to do well. She is very sure of herself and she has been acting a lot like a leader lately when it comes to people around her (which can annoy some 

Self: well mentally, she is having a hard time due to her love life. She is beau disappointed with her love story and she is really trying to withdrawal from all the feelings she has inside her

Jeongyeon

Love: her relationship seem to be going strong and it doesnt seem like it will end any time soon. Whatever conflicts they had on the past they have solved it. I believe that she wants to tie the knot with her partner as well 

Career: I have no idea when twice contract will finish, but when it comes to her, Jeongyeon seem to have taken the decision not to continue once the opportunity is given to her 

Self: she has a lot of burdens on her shoulder, either when it comes to her career but also personal life. All these responsabilties is what are fuckign up her head and putting her on an anxiety spiral 

Momo

Love: She is in a successful relationship, and girl has been ambitious to take this to another level. I believe that the person she is right now will be the person she ends up marrying (or so, she believes). 

Career: she hasn’t been very nice around, I believe that there was a fight/argument with another member of twice. Momo had been a little bit (a lot) cold hearted with that person to the point where she has been called a bitch by the other member for acting the way she was acting 

Self:  whatever the deal is she doesnt care. Momo sees her life forward and she doesnt dwell on things (which means she doesnt care). At the moment she is focused on continuing with her projects 

Sana

Love: she is still single and not activity looking for a partner at the moment.  Sana wants to enjoy her time as a single person, to have her adventures and to just enjoy her youth before she stays with someone again 

Career: she had been some conflict with a member (momo?) since theres a lot of miscommunication and disahormny here. Other than that she is living her career peacefully although she wished she could do more 

Self: Sana knows and is aware that she can be very egoistic but she has learnt that being that way is what gives you a clear path to success and that is what she is doing 

Mina

Love: Mina is still going through a broken heart (so she did indeed ended her relationship) and for the moment she is way too pained to think of love or to even let anyone in at the moment 

Career: when it comes to career however she is rathe lucky. For this year she has already a full booking with many projects that she will be working on (for both twice and her personal goals) 

Self: she is trying ti be smarter in the industry, to see things clearer and hold some authority so people dont abuse their power with her. She has gained a lot in confidence 

Dahyun

Love: she is between breaking up with her partner due to the lack of communication and time spent together but at the same time she doesnt because she loves him dearly. She havent done any decision yet concerning this 

Career: she feels like JYP Is restricting her too much along with the fact that she feel like sh scant do anything while others can. She doesnt feel very happy with her career and more like stuck in something that she doesnt enjoy doing anymore 

Self: she is very confident and she knows what to do to achieve what she wants and needs. Dahyun is very smart and she is trying to do things discreetly to get out of the bad situations she is in 

Chaeyoung

Love: I believe that she isnt with her friend anymore since her status seems like she felt way too limited in her relationship and that she needed more freedom with her life 

Career: she doesnt have much hope for her career. She knows she wont be able to hold herself as a soloist. As a member of twice she is having a hard finding her place as well 

Self: it seems like Chaeyoung is dealign with a debt issue at the moment which is her prime occupation lately. Other than that she has been trying to take care of herself 

Tzuyu

Love: single again, Tzuyu isnt searching for a partner since th relationship she stopped recently kinda of destroyed her self esteem and she needs now some time to fix her head 

Career: I also feel like she is very dispointed with her career ( I see that she is having some issues with her sponsorship) and because of that she havent had many solo opportunities for projects that she wanted to complete. Also the idol life is giving her a lot of anxiety and depressive episodes 

Self: going through a very tough period at the moment. I believe that her coping mechanisms aren’t the best and that she is self isolating a lot 

[theflyindutchwoman]

Do you need…anything? The last 24 hours back. I'm afraid I don't have that power. A hug. Yeah. Come here. It's okay.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.01 - Life and Death

One of my favourite moment… There's something so intimate with this scene, like we're intruding. It's how Tim is particularly attentive and thoughtful, immediately inviting Lucy to stay at his place, so she doesn't end up at her apartment where she would only be reminded of Jackson's death. He's right that she should not be alone and honestly, I don't think he wanted to be by himself either.

It's how, for a little moment, they're back to their usual bickering, fighting over who sleeps on the coach and Lucy not caving in… But there's also this uncertainty between them : Tim wants to help but doesn't know how and Lucy looks completely lost. Her little comment about wanting the 24 hours back is so reminiscent of her wish for a time machine back in Now and Then… Her request for a hug is so bold and so hesitant at the same time, as if she blurted it before realising what she just said. Only he doesnt let her take it back because this is something he can do for her. If he can give her some comfort, he's absolutely going to do it. I sometimes feel like this moment is a window into what he might have wanted to do back after Day of Death. But they weren't as close then.

It's how this hug is so soft, between the little come here, the way he seems to envelop her, his hand in her hair… It doesn't last very long but it's enough to send them into a spiral. The moment they pull away and are just staring into each other's eyes… It's full of tension. Tim looks almost breathless. They're this close to share a kiss before he turns away completely. The pining after that… Both in their bed, fidgeting and looking towards the other's direction, itching to go there… Lucy getting up before hearing Tim on the phone and sitting right back down…

It's how this was a moment full of possibilities, at the wrong time. And to me, this is really where it all began for them. When they started realising that there might be more to their bond than mere friendship. That longing just hit them in the face and they suddenly didn't know what was happening. But once Tim got that phone call, this realisation took a backseat. Maybe it was because none of them were in the right emotional space… Maybe they were scared to risk losing the other right after losing a friend… Maybe they thought it was unrequited… Maybe a little bit of all the above. Whatever it was, they got back to their old dynamic. Or at least, tried to. But the shift was still there. Even after Lucy became Tim's aide and once again, his direct subordinate. They still became much closer. Lucy no longer had Jackson and Angela was busy with her family. They did things outside work, much more personal than paintballing, like fixing a childhood home or going on a double date… It's how this hug planted the seed that blossomed for a season… before a kiss turned everything upside down.

[pastanest]

A/N: shamelessly inspired by the legend that is Amanda Bynes cinematic masterpiece which, if you have not seen it, is too iconic for words and also @januaryembrs imagine Making Of A Man, so please read that one bc it is INCREDIBLE and is on my Jon Snow fic recs list for VERY good reason!!

warning: light reference to SA (reader does what we all wish we could’ve done tho fr and doesnt actually get SA’d, it’s just implied what could’ve happened). also flashing tiddies as god (Amanda Bynes) intended x

Jon Snow x she/her!reader

part one can be found here

She’s The Man - Part Two

It had become commonplace by then, for you to wait at the top of the highest hill in town, as early as you could, for any sign of the Stark banner approaching. If they were going to arrive that day, you knew you would see them at first light, because Lord Eddard Stark often arrived with tired eyes while his two sons would be reliably bouncing with excitement, having woken him in the earliest hours they could to begin their journey. 

More often than not, you would stay up there from dawn until your mother called you in for breakfast. You did not expect to see them most days, but you could not withhold your excitement at the possibility of a direwolf waving at you from afar, letting you know that your favourite person in the whole world was on his way.

That morning was one of the rare and beautiful dawns on which you did see your favorite sigil approaching in the distance, and the moment you did, you were sprinting back home as fast as your little legs would carry you, feeling like you were moving at a pace not so far from flying, the wind in your hair only reinforcing that childish dream. Of course, you were shouting at the top of your lungs all the way down the hill.

“DARIUS, DARIUS, DARIUS!” Your yelling did not cease even once you were at his bedside and violently shaking him into a delirious consciousness. 

“What is i- Oh, by the GODS (Y/N), let me REST!” He would shout back, burying his face under his pillow.

“NO! JON SNOW AND THE STARKS ARE HERE! COME ON, COME ON, COME ONNN!” You would squeal, running around the room in an excited daze while your brother continued to groan in annoyance.

Before long, your brother would have given in and dragged himself out of bed, stumbling after you as you ran back out into the street and collected yourself. Every single time the Starks rode into town, without fail, you would find a place to situate yourself on their path and appear as though you had casually been there, completely by coincidence and not at all by careful planning. Meanwhile, your poor brother would still be yawning and wiping his eyes, leaning against anything he could find nearby just to keep himself standing upright. That particular occasion, you had hidden around the side of a house that did not belong to your family and you were peering round the corner to keep an eye on the progress of the wolves as they descended. Your brother, on the other hand, was round the same corner but leaning against the wall, making no effort to witness the arrival of his childhood friends because the little energy he had at the time was focussed on being forced awake and trying to stay that way. There was not a power strong enough to wipe the smile from your face when you saw the dark curls of Jon Snow bobbing up and down atop his horse, turning from side to side as he searched for you.

And like a rehearsed scene from a play, you would step out and wave at him, immediately receiving the beaming smile he saved just for you, while his father and brother watched on with pleasant smiles, overjoyed to see the Snow of the family greeted with such obvious excitement.

“Lord Jon! To what do I owe the pleasure this time?”

In the month that has passed beyond the wall, Jon has asked you about your sister less and less, and you cannot decide whether that is a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, not having to talk about yourself in third person or live with the yearning expression in his eyes as he spoke of you without realizing you were right in front of him, was definitely a blessing. On the other hand, the less he mentioned you, logic would suggest that equated to him thinking of you less, and you could not decipher what that meant. You wondered if it alluded to him moving on, trying to forget about the feelings that he was certain he would never be able to act on, for his own good. That, you understood. After all, he has taken an oath; one that you have since taken, too. Perhaps he simply does not wish to entertain such fantasies, you think. But there have been one too many moments with him that have made that difficult for you to believe.

The conversations you have each and every night, whether it be while on watch together or in the quarters you share, are spent smiling and laughing so much that your faces ache, getting to know each other on levels unknown to anybody else. Every time you see each other after being apart for mere minutes is enough to have you grinning at each other, like you did on the day you arrived. The things you have talked about, from feelings to dreams and your deepest, darkest fears, are not things that are often shared between men, from what you know of your time living amongst them as one. But, more than that, there have been specific instances that have made you question particular things about the man you have grown up believing you know better than you know yourself.

For example, three weeks ago, when Ser Alliser had been overseeing a training session and deliberately paired you off with a man far bigger, far stronger and far more experienced in fighting than you were. Jon had tried his best to reassure you in the skill you had gained, but he could see the fear in your eyes, and he knew deep down that you were not skilled enough to take on someone so much bigger than you in close combat. He had also been paired off with someone else in being separated from you, but he knocked that man down in a matter of seconds and held his sword to the poor man’s face, forcing him to yield so that Jon could watch over you. While you dodged as best as you could, and were far more nimble than your opponent due to the drastic size difference, you could not avoid the sly punch to your stomach that sent you hurtling onto the icy ground.

“WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS WAS THAT?!” Jon’s voice was like thunder as he marched over to you, lifting you to your feet and moving you to stand behind him as you clutched at your stomach. 

The laugh that Ser Alliser responded with told the two of you that he had instructed the larger man to knock you down whatever the cost, regardless of how dishonorable the tactic.

“Try that again and you won't have hands to land another punch, brother.” Jon threatened the larger man, who could only nod in response, unable to hide the intimidation he felt at being threatened by the one man he knew could knock him down without breaking a sweat.

With that, Jon led you back to the quarters you shared and sat you down on his bed - something you definitely did not fail to acknowledge - crouching down in front of you to look up at you with sorrowful, and still furious, eyes. 

“I am so sorry, are you alright?” His voice was so much softer than it had been mere moments ago, and the care with which he spoke to you was enough to make your face feel hot all of a sudden as it nodded at him.

In truth, you had long forgotten about the pain in your stomach that was certainly severe enough to leave a very large bruise, but you would be silly to deny yourself the luxury of Jon Snow doting on you, just a little. 

“Anyone tries something like that with you again, I’ll kill them where they stand. And if I’m not there to see it, you come and find me, and they’ll wish they’d never so much as given you a funny look. Understood?” He asked, words firm and promise clear, making the butterflies in your stomach frantic against your bruised skin.

“Understood. Thank you, Jon.” You did not have the capacity to say anymore, all other words lost to you in that moment. It took you several days to recover from the protective oath he swore to you while you sat on his bed that day, nevermind the actual guttural punch.

And then, there was an evening two weeks ago, when Lord Commander Mormont insisted you worked with Sam in the library instead of acting as Jon Snow’s shadow on watch for the 8th time in a row - which was a fair comment, if a little harsh. What you thought would be a peaceful evening spent reading books with a friend, quickly turned into a confessional of some description. 

“I am sorry that you’ve been lumped with me tonight, I know you’d rather be…elsewhere.” Sam said gently, his words without prejudice, but his tone hinting that he knew more than he was saying as he took his pile of books to the table and sat down.

From your place at the same table, sat opposite him with just one measly book in your hands, you frowned at him. “Oh, Sam, I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that I don't want to spend time with you, that’s not true at all! I haven’t spent a lot of time in here, it’ll be a nice change of scene and with lovely company.” You smiled at him, and he returned it, but shook his head.

“No, no, sorry, that is not what I meant. I know that you enjoy my company, as you do Ed and Pyp’s, but…you do not enjoy Jon’s company in the same way.” He tried to hint a little more obviously, and when his words sunk in, your eyes widened. At once, Sam reached over the table to hold your shoulders. “Please, do not panic, I have no judgement to pass and will not tell him!” He was quick to reassure you, allowing you to breathe again as he sat back down in his chair. “I only meant to let you know that I think it is very sweet. We all do, in fact.”

Panic began to set in again. “When you say ‘all’...?”

Sam chuckled. “I mean Ed, Pyp and myself; Jon is completely oblivious, or tries very hard to pretend that he is.”

You sighed in defeat. “So, I have made it that obvious, have I?”

Sam shook his head, smiling knowingly. “No, not just you.”

Immediately, you frowned. “What do you mean, Sam?”

At that, he shook his head, giggling mischievously. “I will say no more about it, it is not for me to say!”

And unfortunately, no matter how much you begged him for the rest of the evening, Samwell Tarly refused to budge, not wanting to interfere on the way in which the events would naturally play out between two of his dear friends, because it was quite honestly the best and only entertainment that the wall had provided thus far.

And then, there was a night last week, when you and Jon were not assigned any tasks and were free to sleep for the night, so retired to your shared quarters with Ghost, who immediately jumped on your bed and sat bolt upright, waiting for you to take your sliver of the bed and allowing him to take the rest. By the time you and Jon had settled in your separate beds in the routinely fashion that came natural to you, you were both prepared for a conversation that would have you each falling asleep with smiles on your faces, as per usual. Except, you could never have anticipated the way in which Jon Snow would begin that conversation, or the topic he was seemingly keen to discuss. 

“Have you ever…been with anyone?” 

Your eyes widened and you were relieved, as you often were, that Jon could not see your flustered expression in the dark. The question sent such a shockwave through you that the hand combing through Ghost’s fur halted suddenly, causing him to huff until you composed yourself and continued.

“Had sex, you mean?”

Jon cleared his throat awkwardly, apparently equally as bashful. “Well, yes, but not just that.”

The depth to his question did not add further explanation to your answer, and you were more than happy to be brutally honest. “No, on both counts. The person I wanted was unattainable, and will continue to be.”

Jon thought about this for a moment before he spoke up again. “Each time we’ve spoken about those we’ve had feelings for, you’ve only ever referred to a person, not a girl.”

You swallowed nervously. “Yes…”

Jon was almost as quick to reassure you as Sam had been. “I swear, I hold no judgement if you have no interest in girls, and I will not speak of it again if you do not wish me to. I was just curious, is all.”

You trusted Jon to keep your ‘secret’, as layered as it was, but his last words caught you out. “What is it you were curious about?”

Apparently, Jon had not expected you to pick up on his choice of words, as he struggled to form a response. “I…you are the only man that I know of who does not like girls, so I wondered how you found that out, I suppose.”

You smiled, his genuine curiosity endearing. “I think I’ve always known, I was never interested in girls, but there was one boy- or, man, I suppose I should say now, that made me realize what those feelings are, and who I felt them for.”

Jon was clinging to your every word, having never heard information on this topic or this type of feeling before. While he wanted to believe it was the same as feelings for girls, only not for them, in such an unaccepting social environment as Westeros, it was difficult for him to process such a concept. That very innocence led to him asking his next question.

“What do those feelings feel like, for you, as a man, about another man?”

While you could not accurately speak on the experience from a man’s perspective, in truth, you knew enough from what your brother had told you to confirm that those feelings are the same regardless of the gender or orientation, it is merely a lack of knowledge and acceptance that leads to those feelings being less understood, and more secretive. In a way, living as a man had given you some insight on the life your brother has actually led, with his own secret.

“I gather it is much the same as you must feel for girls. When around him, I feel a joy that I can’t describe, one that I wouldn’t know without having met him. He makes me smile until my face aches, makes me feel safe and ridiculously bashful, and to be near him is to know of nothing and nobody else in the world. He was, and is, everything to me. I doubt I’ll ever feel that way for anybody except for him; my heart has been his for too long.” You confessed solemnly.

Time seemed to slow down as you awaited Jon’s response. You are certain it took almost a minute for his voice to cut through the dark.

“I’m sorry…that you feel that way, for someone that you can’t be with.” He sounded disheartened, too, and you logically assumed it was due to the feelings he had for you, that he felt he could not act on.

The conversation faded into quiet goodnights after that, both of your minds spinning with thoughts that you could not tell the other, making for restless slumbers for each of you. 

Since that night, Jon has been ever so slightly distant with you. Not enough to cause any real concern, he is still nearby at all times, ensuring your safety, but he has been increasingly awkward around you, as though he’s lost the ability to speak to you as he would previously. The change in him has been apparent enough for the rest of the group to notice, with Sam, Ed and Pyp each taking turns to comfort you when they have seen how worried you have been about him, concerned that you have done something to upset him, and all of them assuring you that you couldn’t possibly, but in truth, none of them knew what he was thinking, either. Jon Snow was a man prone to the odd brood, you knew that; he was the king of sulking even when you were children, but he had never been able to resist you, even in the midst of his worst sulking episodes. Except, now, he doesn’t know that you are you, meaning it is not possible for you to get through to him.

Tonight, events have transcended beyond your ability to cope with them. Jon missed supper, and when you questioned Sam - who had a very obviously nervous expression from the moment he sat down - he broke the news, as gently as he could, that Jon had gone on watch without you. Now, there have been occasions where Jon has done this because you had been asked to do something elsewhere, but this is the first time that he has done this by choice, because he knows that neither of you were scheduled to be on watch tonight. Clearly, something is on his mind, and it is something that has led to him outright avoid you, which simply cannot continue, because you will most definitely die of heartbreak in the most dramatic way you can think of. 

Naturally, you were not able to eat after Sam told you the news, and instead retired to your quarters for the night, having nothing better to do than pace the room and tell Ghost that you are alright every few minutes and he continues to whine in response because he can sense that you are the polar opposite. On your way back to this room, you stole an oil lamp, too panicked to care about the potential punishment because you need to see Jon’s face when he eventually comes to rest after being on watch; you need an explanation, and you need to read his face when you are receiving it, to understand exactly what has happened between you. 

Fortunately for you, you are pacing for no more than an hour - or, at least, that is your best guess - before there is a gentle knock on the door. 

“Come in.” Despite only speaking two words, your voice breaks in your overwhelmed state.

The door opens, and Jon steps into the room you share, but avoids your eyes, and his stance is one of a man uncomfortable to be standing where he is. 

“Sam said you were on watch.” You state, no question in your words, but an underlying question of what he’s doing here, based on what you know to be true.

Jon nods. “Sam said you didn’t eat anything at supper.”

You blink rapidly. “You have been subtly distancing yourself from me for the past week, until tonight, when you spontaneously volunteer for an extra shift on watch to avoid me completely, but when Sam tells you that I skipped dinner, you suddenly want to see me?”

Jon winces at your words, having never intended to cause you harm in his actions. In fact, it was quite the opposite. “I’m sorry, I-”

You shake your head, interrupting him. “Please, don’t apologize until you’ve explained. I already know I’ll forgive you, but I need to know what exactly I’m forgiving you for.”

Sensing that this is going to be a long conversation, Ghost sighs and curls up on your bed. Jon, on the other hand, is looking at you in that same way again, replaying your words over and over in his mind, because you care for him so much that you already know you’ll forgive him, regardless of his explanation for his actions and how they have hurt you. 

“I have dealt with my feelings awfully, and for that, I must apologize. I just needed time to…understand myself, I suppose. And when I understood, I knew I had to force some distance between us in an effort to undo what was already done, because it is fruitless and will only cause more pain for myself, but in doing so I have caused the worst possible thing: I have hurt you.” Jon shakes his head, ashamed of himself. “You have done nothing to deserve this, so please do not blame yourself, or think I am upset with you, because that could not be further from the truth.”

Feeling relief flood through you and a sense of stability returning to the bond between you, you take a few steps closer to Jon, looking up at him with a soft smile.

“You can tell me anything, but if you are not ready to, then you can take as long as you need. Now that I know you’re not upset with me, I can wait, I promise.”

Jon groans in frustration, lifting his gaze to the ceiling and wiping his face with his hands. “See, that’s exactly what it is.”

You frown. “What is?”

Jon walks away from you then, beginning to pace the room as you had been, but for a very different reason. “You! The kindness you’ve shown me, the sincerity with which you say things, the way you treat me and the way I feel around you - I never thought I would feel these things for anyone else, and that makes it even worse, because I don't want you to think it’s you reminding me of her that’s made me feel this way, but it’s the traits I adored in her that I’ve come to adore in you. And I’ve never felt such a way for a man, but I’ve come to realize that I wouldn’t care if you were a man or a woman or anything else, because what matters to me is who you are. And I love who you are.” He stops pacing, staring into your soul from across the room, reading the shock in your eyes and sighing. “But you have already told me, time and time again, that your heart is with another, and there is nothing I can do. I wouldn’t want to, as I’m sure they are better for you and will treat you the way you deserve.”

“Jon-” You try to interject, but the words are falling from his lips now.

“I know you probably won't see him again, whoever it is, but even loving him from afar is better, he’ll never let you down like I will, like I already have.” His gaze has dropped to the floor, forlorn.

“Jon-” You attempt to cut him off a second time, but he still can't stop himself.

“And I am sorry, for all of it, for my feelings, how I’ve handled them, and how they’ve ruined every moment we’ve had since you arrived.”

“Jon, Gods above, please stop talking!” You plead, a little louder this time, and Jon finally closes his mouth. Taking a deep breath, you laugh lightheartedly, shaking your head in disbelief. “I cannot believe this, truly, but it is no longer fair for me to keep this a secret.”

Jon frowns and meets your eyes, having immediately discarded all thoughts of his own feelings and replaced his concerns with ones for you, the secret you’ve been keeping and if it means something is wrong. “What secret?”

You run your hands through your hair, trying your best to flatten it and make yourself more familiar to him. “Jon…I’m not Darius, I’m (Y/N).”

Something flickers in his eyes then, only for half a second, before his frown intensifies and he shakes his head. “Please, do not joke about such things, not now.”

You sigh. “I’m telling you the truth! And I think, honestly, some part of you already knew, because you haven't called me by my brother’s name once since the day I arrived, you know that name doesn't fit me, because it isn't mine.”

His expression falters, but he is too stubborn to believe you. “Are you mocking me?”

You roll your eyes, determining there is no other way. “Right, that does it!”

With that, you lift your shirt and undershirt, flashing Jon for no more than a second and sending the poor man into a state of shock, before you cover yourself back up. The impact of such a sight sends Jon Snow stumbling backwards until he’s against a wall, with an expression reminiscent of seeing a ghost.

“Seven hells!” He whispers, blinking rapidly as the image replays in his mind, cursing him and blessing him simultaneously. 

Unable to stop yourself, you giggle at his dramatics. “It was only a pair of breasts, Jon, please.”

He clears his throat, pulling himself back up, but his palms stay pressed against the wall, acting as a safety net. “Yes, but they were your-”

Stopping himself, the realization dawns on him. Jon Snow just saw your naked chest, meaning you are standing in front of him, and it is you that has been here, sharing watch duty, meals, and a room with him everyday for the past month. 

“(Y/N)...” He whispers your name so softly, as though afraid that speaking your name will reveal your true identity as a mirage that will disappear before his very eyes. 

Taking one hesitant step towards you, Jon’s palms push him away from the wall, moving so slowly that you wonder if he’ll ever reach you, and then his hand takes ahold of yours. Despite having been shoulder to shoulder countless times, this is the most intimate you have been since the hug that he greeted you with when you arrived, and the contact sends goosebumps across your entire body. Jon Snow’s fingers intertwine with yours, and you smile, eyes glazing over with an adoration that you’ve fought and failed to hide for a month. Bringing your hand up to his face, he presses your hand against his stubbled cheek and sighs deeply, closing his eyes, like he can finally believe that you really are right here, and you aren’t going to vanish into thin air. 

“I didn’t lie, y’know, not really.” Your voice is barely there, even in the silence. 

Opening his eyes, Jon stares into yours with an unspoken question to elaborate.

“While I tried my best to speak from my brother’s perspective, everything I told you about how I felt was true.” You explain, and if possible, Jon’s expression melts just a little more.

“So, the man who has your heart?” He questions, still a note of nervousness in his words, despite the playful smile on his face.

“Is still clueless that he has it, because I’m having to spell it out to him!” You tease, bringing a hearty laugh from Jon. “My reason for being here rings true, too. I only left out the detail that I snuck onto the cart before my brother could when they came for him, leaving a letter to him to explain; because I had committed the ‘crime’, I felt it was only fair I served the sentence.” You clarify the part of your story that you had missed, thinking nothing of it.

But when Jon’s eyes widen and he drops your hand, you realize that he had completely forgotten where the two of you are standing, and more importantly, where you are. 

“Gods, (Y/N), you can't be here! Do you know what some of these men would try to do to you if they found out?!” He starts pacing again, but you’re quick to jump in his path and stop him, placing a hand on his clothed chest.

“I know all too well what those men would try to do, defending myself from such acts is what brought me here.” You remind him, and his firm expression falls, abruptly fixing itself into a frown that is not at all directed at you.

Without thinking, he takes ahold of your face. “I am so sorry I wasn’t there before, but I will never let anyone close enough to harm you ever again, I swear it, by the old Gods and the new.”

At that, you can't help smiling up at him, holding onto his wrists to keep his hands against your face. “I know, and I doubt anyone here will try anything that could bring the wrath of my Jon Snow.”

Your words bring a familiar softness back to him, and he chuckles. “Yours, am I?”

“Of course!” You beam up at him.

The two of you laugh then, at the ridiculousness of it all, the coincidences that have led you to this very moment, with faces mere centimeters apart, hot breath on each other’s faces, gazes darting between each other’s eyes and lips, both asking and answering the same unspoken question. And then, Jon Snow’s lips fall onto yours, and it is better than he has been imagining it could have been since he was a boy. A kiss with you is what shows him the true meaning of being a man, in love with what he thought was another man, but was, in truth, the heart he’d always yearned for, in a disguise that he could not see through with his eyes, but his heart could. Running your fingers through his curls, you sigh against his lips, and Jon wraps his arms around the waist he had somehow not noticed for the past month, fully intending to make up for that lost appreciation henceforth. The butterflies in your stomach spiral until they cannot be contained, and they are flying around the two of you in a magical blur of color, of blissful peace and exhilaration all at once; the most intense feelings you’ve ever known, exchanged and reciprocated simultaneously. Only when he misses the sight of your face too much to continue, does he pull away and rest his forehead against yours, dazed and breathing heavily as you both come to terms with the world that has materialized around you again. Falling into a comfortable silence, you grin at each other, so brightly that your faces ache, but neither of you care at all. A thousand sentiments are sent between your hearts, through your eyes, every thought you’ve been waiting to share and knowing that he feels them, too, but neither of you need to say it, not yet. 

That is, until Jon Snow breaks the silence with an adoring, disbelieving laugh.

“Soppy git.”

—————

taglist: @otteropera @neymarjrrwife @oliviabelova

[betweenblackberrybranches]

So... hmm... silly question... In the automaton au is it possible to be both a witch and a wizard at the same time?

Well witches and wizards are essentially the same thing... just with very different outlooks on the world. Where witches (im talking of a collective here but actually they are all different and there is no restriction on how to be a witch) draw their energy flow from the nature and the old ones in a perpetual cicle of giving and taking, the wizards take what they need for they magic by force. So yea there are ways in witch someone could be a witch and a wizard at the same time the chances are extremely small because old ones know when someone is a wizard and they will never begin a friedly relationship with a wizard. Not in the way that is needed to become a witch.

Now a witch could try to become a wizard as an undercover spy, okay then they are technically a witch and a wizard at the same time because they do both witch offerings and rituals and what would still recive enhancements to stay undercover. Though that particular witch would be treading a really thin line, because i can not imagine the old ones being understanding of this situation for a longer period of time unless there is a big amount of trust involved.

Which brings us to an interesting concept. Lost witches.

Witches that have been abandones by all old ones they had relationships with. (Some of the first wizards were lost witches) those witches did something to offend the old ones or break their trust. Some of those witches turn to less savoury old ones or become wizards to regain their powers though lost witches who became wizards are looked down upon almost as much as a regular witch in the cities.

But yea being a wizard or a witch is about more than the enhancements or the way you conduct your magic, its about the outlook on the world and how you wish to exist in it so it would be hard to be both a witch and a wizard. Kinda would be like being a communist and a capitalist at the same time it just doesnt really work

[lanaevyssmoved]

it's interesting how Afhiri is such a lovely and joyful person who is the entire circus and so i'm curious about their messy moral code as you referred to it. i happen to appreciate characters with that kind of dichotomy. Would you see that they're "good at lying" because they view it as a performance? what would u say her alignment is (icr if you've already said)?

hiri's alignment fits closest to chaotic neutral!!! ahem. copies from wiki

Archetype: Free spirit A chaotic neutral character is an individualist who follows their own heart and generally shirks rules and traditions. Although chaotic neutral characters promote the ideals of freedom, it is their own freedom that comes first; good and evil come second to their need to be free. Examples of this alignment include many barbarians and rogues, and some bards.

iri be the (some bards)! !

they have a simple view of the world. food? check. water? check. flute? check. there we go . iri doesn't care for hearth and home, they dont care for society and cities and culture and leaders and dukes. they are, quite literally, Vibing. the camping life with the squad is literally heaven. instead of doing this alone, and admittedly being bad at it and lonely, poor in so many ways, their heart is FULL. they are surrounded by people they never want to leave! never want to lose! even if they don't like iri that much, even if they're mean, cruel, even a little evil at times! these are her people. this is a found family through and through and They Come First. along with her own personal freedoms (which are Their personal freedoms, in her mind), . and completing this quest? that'll make everyone leave. sad iri time. mayhaps a sad little tune will make them want to Stay.

iri will lie and cheat and steal and manipulate and trick . iri LOVES vicious mockery (spell) and finds thinking up insults to be really funny! true entertainment! there isn't much of a concept of This is Cruel. or This is Mean. behaviour though. naive and simplistic! they're just having a laugh. a lil clownin around. it's fun!!!! like oh, u had a reaction to that vicious mockery? that means.. afhiri did Good. she is a good person, she has a heart of gold, i think! she just doesn't understand, and no one can make her understand. brain wired to weirdo coded. a crowd of boos are just as much attention as a crowd of cheers, after all!

you could call them selfish but that's entirely untrue. they are absolutely in the truest of senses unselfish, and every action made is a selfless act, all their decisions in the game are based on whether it will make someone happy. but that doesn't always mean its the right choice! it doesnt always mean this is morally correct! sometimes she peeps over her shoulder and looks at her most blessed moral compasses for help (gale, wyll and karlach are the go-tos. lae'zel when it's Scary...) Generally if its something her moral compasses would do she will do it, but sometimes she cannot help but act on her own (no one thinks this is wise- but they are supported all the same).

her moral compass does shift upon the influence of her friends but lets admit our friends don't have the best moral compasses across the board, even her dear gale be approving of some Sick and Twisted stuff and be desiring power like it's his favourite Wine. when you can be swayed incredibly easy by those u will do anything to keep with you because u want them around, so, so badly, you can be influenced to do terrible things as well! and sometimes its as easy as "hey. do bad." and they'll be like ok :) i do bad :)

they reject literally anything that tried to bind them however, by a law, or a rule, or a deal, or a contract. oh, raphael? u wish to make a deal with me, form a contract? piss right off! pie in the face! in baldur's gate, asked to help out the Leaders and Rulers, asked to partake in the Politics of it all. No? i don't want to . this sucks. u all suck. my family live in shit and u want me to care about Duke Pissin Ravengard? sorry wyll but ur dad smelly as gnoll shit. the only binding iri has done is tying her red string of fate to her squad, connected for LIFE. this is all that matters over the course of this story.

chaotic neutral: my freedom. and my friends freedom

SO YEAH. sometimes hiri do a bit of criminal activity and evil scheming. its all fun and games though innit

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[tadpolesonalgae]

just finished cbmthy and it was so well written as always but that conversation with feyre made me so uncomfortable, i kind of figured it wasn't this bad between her and her family, just that she tended to isolate herself and everyone is always busy and shit at talking. but not only feyre hasn't spoken to her since her bday but also was just there awkwardly and not even ask about anything other than about bas because she was worried (which i guess is good she worries for her sister but to me it just shows that az isn't the only one who doesn't trust her judgement at all) also the way she said everyone helps with nyx and named everyone basically besides reader was so? she could at least ask her to join her for like dinner or something to see nyx, i dont really care for children and reader doesn't give me that vibe either but that's her baby nephew so it feels weird knowing she's distanced from everyone like this. there's no way they think she's okay like this and as much as reader would probably deny any invitation, those would at least show that they care for her and it doesn't seem like they even do that. and i like her dynamic with eris a lot but it always leaves me wishing she was like this with her actual family and that we only get to see her like this with him or bas. i dont know, as much as azriel already has to grovel i think the ic does too at this point because az not paying attention to her is one thing since he just doesnt like her like that (even if she likes him and he went too far, hes really not obligated to look after her bc at this point he's an acquaintance) but her sisters and their mates who are technically her family now too not even caring is weird, i want reader to stay in the night court and with azriel but at this point she really doesn't have any reason to and since it's already been 2 years of this they have a lot to make up for. also maybe i read it wrong but has no one (besides maybe elain and azriel being a dick) talked to her since her bday? that was a shitshow and no one thought to maybe check on her 💀

im still excited about her powers and i like that she's doing something about them but her choosing to do it on her own even though she obviously doesn't know much about magic in general is kinda dumb of her (after seeing the conversation she had w feyre i get that she really just doesn't want to have any help because of her own feelings and fears of being a burden and stuff but still) also as sweet as the hand cream was (and it was) i wish az had pushed her a bit more this time (since he clearly has no trouble doing it), i dont mean being mean to her obviously but at least ask her if she's sure about her decision to do this alone or if she wants his help or someone else's because she might get herself hurt doing it on her own and it's frustrating to see her go through it alone when she has 3 sisters who went through literally the same thing as her and the rest of the ic who helped said sisters, at this point it might really be eris helping her with her powers all the way from a different court and idk how the ic and az would come back from that. also it's good to see her inner thoughts about eris because it contrasts with how naive everyone seems to think she is, i just really wish she showed it, instead of trying to act how she thinks they expect of her

- 🧶

In Feyre’s defence, reader did very suspiciously and frantically shove away a letter with writing on 😭 I’d be curious too if (heavy theoretical) my sister did something like that. Especially if she had a tendency to keep to herself—I’d want to know what’s going on in her life :)

She did initially come to talk with reader about what happened after giving her space and time to approach them, and to be fair, Feyre was just happy to find out that she has someone who she actually kind of wants to spend time around? Rather than trying to be nosey (which she kind of was, despite trying otherwise), Feyre really did just want her to be safe, and some people may think that’s a bit infantilising, but to be fair, Feyre’s been mistreated by a lot of people, while reader hasn’t had many opportunities in her life to find out how vicious people can be?

And with the Nyx thing, I suppose they (Feysand) don’t want to push responsibility onto other people, and reader doesn’t want to bother them, so it kind of goes round in a circle 😭

(Also Nyx is theirs, they want to be around as much as possible; treasure every moment because of how Rhys’ father and Feyre’s mother weren’t there for them as children so I kind of feel it would be weird for them to invite reader to look after their kid? That could just be me though.)

‘but her choosing to do it on her own even though she obviously doesn't know much about magic in general is kinda dumb of her’

See with this, she has the entirety of Rhys’ library at her fingertips and enjoys reading and learning new things, so for her, unless she absolutely has to, doing it by herself is just more preferable?

It’s not like it’s unreasonable from her perspective? Having gone from the human lands where libraries were so rare to having such a massive and extensive one just beneath her feet—it would be weird to think there’s anyway a subject isn’t covered?

Even though, as the actual readers, we can assume that her powers are similar to Nesta’s in the sense there hasn’t been anything like them before, there’s no way she would know that? I know it might be frustrating to see her doing something we doubt will be actually productive, but I feel quite strongly that she genuinely believes she’s capable of managing on her own with the help of books 🧡💛

Well, she’ll find out for herself one way or another 🤷

‘i wish az had pushed her a bit more this time (since he clearly has no trouble doing it)’

He’s inadvertently pushed her in the past, but with this time there were actual obvious signs (trembling hands) of her discomfort instead of silence which could be a multitude of things? Also, he now knows how Nesta had trouble with facing her own powers, and to add to that, reader’s had two years of absolutely nothing, while all three of her sisters have proven useful in some capacity?

‘and idk how the ic and az would come back from that.’

On one hand, it could be the blade that completely severs their relationship, but on the other, it could be the beginning to something else…👀

‘instead of trying to act how she thinks they expect of her’

I was honestly kind of concerned this part might be overlooked, so I’m so relieved you’ve zeroed in on it. Again, I’m not sure if I’ve properly elaborated on it, but she certainly changes some aspects of herself to what she thinks people want of her, which can be confusing on the receiving end :/

Also, I really hope when I respond to these longer asks, it doesn’t sound mean or anything like that? I really love seeing all your thoughts, and I’m sometimes torn between trying to explain things (without sounding like a dick) without giving spoilers as to perhaps why certain characters act potentially a little differently from how they’re portrayed in the books and accidentally saying or alluding to something that hasn’t happened yet?

(And, to be fair, it could always be down to me just genuinely writing a character badly or wrong 😬)

Anyway, I really hope these responses just come out as conversational and they don’t put you off from sending in your thoughts :)

[ailendolin]

one trait of thomas' i adore that they've been very consistent with is how much he wants to Help alison.. ghost!thomas and alive!thomas seem to approach love & romance very differently (a lack of respecting boundaries vs care and consideration... 200 years of "i was a fool who died alone and unloved" will do that to ya, i guess). it's nice to see areas where i feel they would have been very much the same thomas, if that makes sense? like in s1e6, when he tells alison he'll help her find money by whatever means and tries to write a(n awful) novel, or s2e1 where he wishes he could just do something to help her but he doesnt have any ghostly powers, or s3e3 when he tells her that he would help her but he physically cant, wanting to help her with making the bed in s4e6 and doing his best to empathise with her stresses even though he doesn't really understand what she's saying.. i dont know, it's something theyve been super consistent about with his character and i just think it's nice :)

Oh I completely agree, anon. It's something I've noticed too - that Thomas very genuinely seems to want to help and regret that he can't. We’ve seen moments like this in every series now which is wonderful because I think they’re glimpses at Thomas’s true character. The fact that they all revolve around Alison might make it seem like it’s just another way of his to try to get her to fall in love with him but I don’t believe that’s the case. The duel, when you really break it down, has been about Thomas trying to help someone he cares about too. He didn’t challenge the officer to make Isabelle change her mind and fall in love with him – he did it because he truly believed it was the right thing to do.

And I think it’s the same with Alison. There’s no ulterior motive to his actions – just the genuine want to help (and maybe also a desperate need to be useful and feel valued through that). It’s like he forgets for a moment that he’s supposed to be in love with her. We see this in other moments as well, for example in 4x01 when he rants to Alison about the Plague Ghosts. It’s only at the very end that he seems to remember who exactly he’s talking to and ends his monologue with one of his typical compliments. He’s also a lot calmer and quieter after he’s gone “cold turkey” in 4x02. I think a lot of us hoped that he would stay that way but the truth is You stay how you die and in Thomas’s case, I guess that means pretending to be someone he’s not (him trying to appear brave during the duel) and desperately searching for companionship (him dying alone and unloved).

Which makes me think that what Thomas needs to move on is not love (as he probably believes) but acceptance – for others to accept him the way he is, bad poetry and all, and also for himself to accept that he's not as good a poet as he'd like to be. And that that’s okay, that his work doesn’t reflect upon him as a person and makes him unworthy of love and attention.

In short, I think he needs an Annie of his own - a friend who is genuinely happy to spend time with him, who likes him for who he is, not who he'd like to be, and makes him feel accepted and, through that, loved for the first time in his very long existence.

[haemosexuality]

it wouldnt be that hard to do a chainsaw man universe x adventure time universe crossover honestly. the only thing that would have to change is humans being more aware of magic/demons before the war

ok i was writing this in the tags but i hit the limit so its here now

and the magic in that time being stronger obv. other than thay everything fits perfectly. i think. adventure time lore is extremely complicated and i only read csm once

oh also hell is called nightosphere now. marceline coming back from the nightosphere like Hey guys this is my new bud the Chainsaw Devil oh wait what would marceline be a devil of?? and hunson? vampire devil.... actually her and hunson would probably be the same thing since theyre related. what would hunson be? soul devil maybe? since sucking souls is his whole thing. vampire devil sounds cooler tho also can devils in csm even procreate like that

would marceline be a fiend? since shes half human in at. marceline couldve been born human in this and her transformation was her becoming the vampire devil fiend instead of her being born a demon and later being turned into a vamp. if we're going with '''ooo characters come to modern day earth''' would pb be a human or a devil? shes not a demon in at but shes also very much not a human being. and i think being the Candy Devil is hilarious

what the fuck would jake be. shapeshifting devil??? thats too specific what would be a devil w shapeshifting powers. the fucking uuuuuuh. slime devil. oh hey doesnt jake turn into slime during elements. eh idk

finn is just a human. FINN IS A HUMAN WHOS A DEVIL HUNTER AND HAS A CONTRACT W PB uh no but wait what would a candy devil even help you with lol she uuuuuuuh. actually pb could be a science devil who just happens to be pink ig. having a contract w a science devil would probably be useful and his part of the contract could be something like letting her run experiments on him. im thinking shed be like makima like just running around earth no big d not being killed or anything. but still probably kept away from society as being pink doesnt make blending in very easy

marcy is a vampire fiend who manages who hold in her urges very well if she gets a steady blood supply. she also works as a devil hunter but she doesnt rlly care she just wants to be able to hang out w her friends (finn and pb and jake etc...) and have blood. jake is there too i cant think of a devil for him to be and i donoh fucking wait hes just a dog devil lmao. who can shapeshift bc fuck you idk. i have no idea where simon would fit in this hes just some guy w alzheimers ig who marceline knew as a kid before she turned into a fiend? who else is there

peppermint butler: butler devil. yk the "the butler did it" trope. ive seen someone say before that bmo is the videogame devil and i agree. phoebe is the fire devil shes very powerful. VK was the devil that possessed marcy's corpse but like most of her brain stayed. idk where denji and makima and the rest are theyre doing their own thing. maybe finn&the rest r in the us (where OOO is) and all the csm plot is happening as usual in japan

fern was uuuuuuh. ok so a clone devil or whatever cloned finn and finns clone (wait was the version of finn trapped in the sword the alternate reality finn or was he the original finn? i dont remember) died and then the. grass devil. the plant devil (plants can be scary ok this devil could be powerful) fiended him and that was fern. maybe magic man was the madness devil and betty made a contract w him bc she thought he could somehow help her cure simons alzheimers but in turn he made her go insane? god i wish i was a writer bc im going nowhere with this does any fanfic wirters wanna steal this u have my permission

[sergeantsporks]

thinking abt a what if scenario where my golden guard oc was inducted into the gilded fam (bc you said it was ok to write abt them interacting). first off, his name was achilles, he lived during a time where belos was still trying to gain power, so he ended up doing a lot of bad stuff for him. like. “killing entire villages to end a rebellion” levels of bad. in terms of personality, he was a very honor-obsessed, noble, knightly type. bc of this, he didnt question belos like. at all. and while he did not enjoy the atrocities he was committing, he thought they were necessary and done for a reason. “the ends justify the means” sort of situation yknow

naturally, you can expect him to not react well when he accidentally finds out what the day of unity Actually entails, and goes and violently confronts belos abt it. they fight, achilles gets the upper hand and wrongfully assumes belos is dead, belos doesnt die for anything tho and cuts his achilles tendon as hes walking away and finishes him off

i imagine that suddenly waking up in the gilded house would. kind of actively make his mental health worse. suddenly having to live with the knowledge that everything he did was ultimately in vain would eat him alive. physically, hed have one of the easier recoveries, he has a limp and a lot of stab wounds & bruises, but its not the worst evelyn has seen. mentally, hes kind of on a downward spiral from minute 1. he feels incredibly guilty abt all the crimes hes committed and all the people hes killed, and he wishes that both belos and himself had died back then. he could absolutely be convinced to stay at the house and even bond with the others, but this is something hes never going to forgive himself for. or at the very least, he wouldnt get to that point in recovery for a WHILE

theres also the issue that theyd kinda have to break him from a soldier mindset (but i imagine hes hardly unique in that experience). like he thinks his life doesnt matter and can be thrown away for anything. he immediately clocks caleb and evelyn as the ultimate authority in the household and treats every request and question from them like an order that hes not allowed to disobey. which would cause some obvious problems. he even bows to them in their first meeting. which they wouldnt like for obvious reasons. hed definitely need to learn to have Some self worth and learn that hes allowed to make choices for himself. hed treat being asked to help in the kitchen with the same deathly seriousness as if he was being ordered to the frontlines in a war

tbh i could actually see him getting along well with jason. he doesnt understand Everything he talks abt, but he does genuinely enjoy hearing abt noble heroes vanquishing monsters and all the other stuff from his books. i could even see jason suggesting the name achilles to him in the first place (id say what his dynamic would be w/ the others, but its been a while since i read the fic n i dont remember their personalities that well)

uhhh. thats kinda all i got to tell you abt the mental rabbit hole i just went down. um. he knows how to swordfight too and would gladly teach the others if they wanted to learn. what do you think of this? sorry for this ask being an absolute wall of text btw

Hmmmmm I think he and Cherry would... idk, not "get along" per se (in a "besties" sense), but just. "Same trauma!!! I've done some stuff that I am very not proud of and oh gosh I was a monster!!!" bonding. Despite being from VERY different time periods. That, and he and Petro would both have the "big help in the rise to power" similarity.

Jason would absolutely go sparkle-eyed infodump on him the instant he said something about heroes. I hope Achilles is ready for the whole Illiad to learn about his namesake, because Jason is going to recite it for him. As was initially intended by the text.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Another idea i had were time travel aus...

Past steven meeting his present two brains self almost simlar with @chaoticerisstuff but same universe just time travelling involved.

One where blu time travels back in time bc she wanted to find stuff out on her own. She meets her siblings and decides to stay in the past instead of her present time. However as with many time travel stories changing the past has concequences.

A time loop one. Where for some reason time keeps looping. Like from the very beginning of the series all the way to rhyme and reason. Only wordgirl knows this. She takes this as opprotunity to change things around. Though after so many loops she gets tired of it. Doesnt matter if she tells any one bc they'll forget when time resets.

I like the first idea.

I also have a few time travel ideas.

Becky and Two brains accidentally end up back in time to when Steven was a teen, and teen Steven accidentally finds out that this alien hero is his future child.

Teen Steven: Oh this is so radical! I must be a great hero or heroic teacher in the future if your my kid.

Becky: Um well, you did become a cool teacher and hero expert and I always consider you as my hero. (she is half truthful to him.)

The other one ties in with my half human/half alien Becky headcanon.

An out of town villain forces Hal Hardbargain and the Learnerer to build a specific time machine that will allow them to go back and time to stop Wordgirl's parents from ever meeting. Two Brains, Wordgirl, Huggy, Chuck, Tobey, and Victoria accidentally wind up back in time with this villain. They are all confused why they are still on Earth and not on Lexicon. While this villain tries to figure out what went wrong, they and the others are transported to specific times following the path of the relationship between Steven and his old girlfriend Teresa Star, a mysterious woman who disappeared for some reason 11-12 years ago. They soon solve the mystery as too why.

Plus a sad hurt/comfort one where in the current timeline Miss Power kills Wordgirl. Dr. Two Brains makes a wish to try and fix things so none of this would happen. He wakes up in his old body 11-12 years ago and ends up adopting Becky this time around instead of the Botsfords. Two Brains is in his past body with current knowledge of the future.

@melodythebunny

@drtwobrainsstuff