Final thoughts
Yesterday, once again, gave confirmation that the man who is vocal, happy to profess his love and claim you, snaps you up without appreciating the value of waiting, is loud and proud, eager to talk you up and show you off
Is not necessarily the man you ought to depend on nor trust
And once again, the day taught me that the man who moves mindfully, who is cautious when he speaks, avoids inflating your ego, resists luring you into a false sense of comfortability, and moderates his expression of affection
Is often one who possesses the greatest consideration of your feelings
This time, I got a third-person perspective. Unfortunately, impacting someone I love who is deserving of far better
From the mouth of a man so sure in his conviction when he came to his conclusion about my situation despite knowing little to nothing about it as he proudly proclaimed how they manage their relationship
I'm not one for convincing, and, far from being convinced myself, I let him spout his rhetoric
To bear witness, not two months later, the realities of the vapid and changeable intention of man so quick to talk and act without pause
And immediately following that heinous transgression, be rewarded with the reassurance and satisfaction of a man quite his opposite, slow to move and resistant in falling into connection simply based on affection
I would rather the slow. The sure. The patient. The reason.
I would rather the one consistent in distance who is vocal more often when it comes to maintaining our heads and keeping clear vision. Than the man who possesses a tongue quicker than wisdom and opts into the format of loving and commitment before taking time to sit and just listen to what he truly wants, who he's really with, where the desire is rooted and what it is seeking.
I am done trusting men who talk quick and jump quicker.
Half of them don't even know they don't mean it.
This weekend has brought a lot of realities about relationships to the surface. And has reaffirmed my contentment of the space I'm in, giving confirmation to validity of the pace that has been taken.
Pause. Know yourself. Consider the nuance and depths of your feelings. And stop filling peoples heads with dreams and well wishes and fantasies of the wonderful lives y'all could be living. If you just took the time, you might avoid all this nonsense and notice the difference between fun for the moment and potential of significance.
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finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌
Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳
Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.
Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.
Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.
Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.
Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.
Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL.
and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.
OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough😩 if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎♂️🙏 BAHHA
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Here are those fic recs I promised you @incesthemes ! I hope there's some in there that you'll really enjoy <3 I split up the recs into overarching tropes to group some together, but I'll start with those that don't fit into any of the groups.
The list got a bit long, so I decided to split it up into two parts.
(Part 1 | Part 2)
Courting Death by theproblematique.
Summary: Sam Winchester lived the first six months of his life in a happy family; the next twelve years as John Winchester's only son, and the last decade as an orphan. He's supposed to die at twenty-two trying to save the woman he loves from a fire, because he doesn't have a brother to pull him back. But the night Sam meets his Reaper he discovers that Death is overly fond of pop-culture references, too beautiful to be real, and reluctant to kill him.
Servant of Servants 'verse by klove0511.
This is a two-part series (though I think it might've been intended to have more fics, its ending doesn't leave you feeling snubbed), posing the question: "what if it had been Sam who'd been mortally wounded at the end of Season 1?"
love potion no. 9 by according2thelore.
Summary: Dean drinks a love potion. Sam is falling apart at the seams because he's been in love with his brother for more than a decade.
keep me in a daydream by according2thelore.
Summary: After an accidental kiss makes a hunt go suspiciously well, Sam and Dean decide to try it again. And again. And again. It's no different from wearing lucky socks, right? A 5 + 1.
for you and me (i got no alibi) by remy.
Summary: There are people hitting on Sam wherever he goes, and Dean is doing weird things like holding doors open for him and touching him way more than is necessary, and it's all driving Sam up the wall. It doesn't help that he's been in love with Dean for just about forever, and all of it feels like a mockery of something he'll never get to have.
Meanwhile, Dean is at his wits' end trying to figure out how he can make Sam realize that he is, in fact, trying to get into his pants.
Ben Has Two Dads by regala_electra.
Summary: When Ben turns thirteen and learns that Dean Winchester is his father, he runs away to join his father (and uncle). A tale where boys are boys, Vikings are Vikings, unicorns go to Candy Mountains, Dean and Sam are in big gay love, and Ben becomes a Winchester.
Last Temptation by merle_p.
Summary: Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state.
Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.
Five Times Dean Forgot and One Time He Remembered by elsi.
Summary: Rowena warned him the obliviate curse might have “aftershocks.” That Dean could relapse to his amnesiac state without warning—though only temporarily, she assured. But this? This goes beyond calling a lamp a “light stick.”
Whatever It Is by theproblematique.
Summary: Both Sam and Dean get sent to the year 2014.
Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life, Too) by TeacupUnicorn.
Summary: Sam and Dean get handcuffed together during a hunt. With a werewolf on their tail and a proximity to each other they haven’t had since they were kids, their unstable relationship is put to the test and their trust in each other is pushed to the limit. Set sometime after 5x16 and before 5x20.
Not Her Sam by Yuval25.
Summary: Future Dean goes back in time to change the future and saves Jess. Future Sam tags along unexpectedly. And Jess is okay. No, seriously. She's fine.
Mistaken For a Couple
101 - mythology by ani_coolgirl.
Summary: As Sam, Dean, and Kali flee Lucifer's slaughter, Kali makes an assumption. The boys try to clear up any misconceptions. They don't do a very good job.
I need you so much closer by cherryvanilla.
Summary: five times they're mistaken for a couple plus one time they actually are.
Domesticity
Paisley by samsexualdeancurious.
Summary: After his mind wall was broken and was healed, Sam knows he can’t be a hunter anymore, so he and Dean retire, and Sam ends up finding a homeless dog who was abused and together they heal.
The Chicago Verse by compo67.
This is a series spanning a whopping 169 fics. I've read only a few of them and I enjoyed Sam and Dean retiring in this town together. It's still updating, looks like, since the latest fic added was in May of this year.
a few things worth saying by hathfrozen.
Summary: “So this morning,” Dean ventures as they blast down the highway in pitch black night toward a probable werewolf case.
Sam looks over at him, thin eyebrows raised, eyes clear and calm. He’s not even difficult about it, doesn’t ask what Dean is after, doesn’t deny what had happened. Instead he says, very simply, “I just figure, why lie?”
Alright then.
All The Way In by hunters_retreat.
Summary: Sam never did know how exactly it happened. One day, he and Dean were run ragged, exhausted from yet another disaster of a hunt, no money and no gas, no prospects and no allies left alive to give them a hand. The next, they owned a store with a shooting range and Sam was a professor of religious studies at a local community college.
Pre-Series & Season 1
To Blow Against the Wind by dreamlittleyo.
Summary: After Oasis Plains, Sam and Dean can't. Stop. Touching each other.
Star-Crossed by Agent_Hellcat.
Summary: Before Sam departs for Stanford, he writes a letter to Dean, begging him to come to Palo Alto with him.
Birthday Suit by wincestation.
Summary: On the morning of Dean’s eighteenth birthday, Dad takes him to buy a suit. Sam is… interested.
house song by according2thelore.
Summary: “The werewolf.” Sam says, quick. Hushed. Scared. “I don’t know how. I was—He was standing above you and then he wasn’t. And I think I did that.”
Dean keeps whispering stuff to Sam, banal reassurances that Sam soaks up like a sponge, but he feels sick. Sammy did something impossible. Sammy’s been doing impossible things.
For years.
Or: Pre-Canon/Teen!chesters AU in which Sam develops powers at age eleven, Dean will do anything to protect him, and they have to live with the consequences
Outsider POV
What I've Done by Amoreanonyname.
Summary: He wasn’t going to say anything more about it. He could tell, Dean was happy to see him, but wasn’t going to humor this topic. Dean, young Dean would jump to obey John, to answer John’s questions, but this was an older Dean who was more loyal to someone else now. More loyal to his brother. John wasn’t the priority here, and he realized with another guilty jump in his stomach that he never should have been.
something you love and understand by monsterq.
Summary: In heaven, Mary makes an unwelcome discovery about her sons’ relationship.
a skeleton terribly restless by remy.
Summary: Mary knows she doesn't fit right in this strange new world she's woken up in, with these grown men masquerading as her sons, but she tries her best. She really does. She closes her eyes to all the things she does not want to see, and she lies to herself until she's convinced.
Until she can't.
Flowers on the Window Sill by orphan_account.
Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester's relationship as observed by the good people of Star's Hollow.
Soulmates
Fix You by non_tiembo_mala.
Summary: After their encounter with Famine, the boys are in dire straits. With Dean left shaken by the horseman's taunts - which rang truer than he'd like to admit - and Sam juiced up on demon blood again, Dean is at a loss. He has no idea how to move forward, or where they're meant to go from here. Then again, they’ve always had each other - perhaps their salvation isn't as far away as it seems.
All Too Familiar by sammichgirl.
Summary: Sam's new hobby has consequences they never saw coming. Turns out, that's OK with Dean after all.
What We Do by BleedingInk.
Summary: Castiel catches Sam and Dean in a compromising position.
since feeling is first by queenklu.
Summary: That he wants to think this is Dean yanking a leash should make his blood run cold, not aching hot. It should make him sick, angry, it should get his fucking hackles up and make him fight.
He does want to fight. But there’s a skin-thin line between primal things, and fighting isn’t all he wants to do.
if the dam breaks open many years too soon by deirde_c.
Summary: Sam’s soul springs a leak, and Dean’s the one who can repair it.
In the beached margin of the sea by rivers_bend.
Summary: Sam and Dean black out on a hunt, and when they wake up, Dean's having visions and Sam can't get new, strange feelings out of his head. When John finds out about the side effects, he'll do anything to get rid of the "curse". But Sam and Dean don't want to go back to the way things were before.
I Don't Need A Symbol by amoreanonyname.
Summary: It hadn’t meant that much to Sam at first. A warm glow at being able to do something nice for Dean, to give him something for once, to make him as happy as he seemed when he put it on immediately.
It was what it meant to Dean that made it mean something else to Sam.
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