#it ended up landing on Brazil

[mayasupercell]

@starrysupercell​ wanted to make a shitpost edit of Belle, but said that they didn’t have the skills to make it, so I took it upon myself to do it instead.

[f1fantasys]

Another day, another shitshow, another fuck

Summary - post Monza angst and smut. FUCK YOU MCLAREN.

Warnings - filthy smut, fingering, oral, m and f receiving, blowjob, p in v sex, over stimulation, anal, squirting, swearing.

3.6K+

Should you be surprised that it was another shit race for Lando? Where his team, and teammate fucked him over again? No.

Did it hurt? Yes.

It hurt like hell to see Lando put in that position again. Were Mclaren so fucking blind that they couldn't see it was ONLY Lando who was in contention for the driver's championship?

Yes, the team need each other. Every single person is a valuable part to winning the Constructors Championship, but to see the way they were literally shoving Lando and his chances of the dc to the side - you were no okay with.

Before the summer break, Hungary was a shitshow. His team manipulated Lando and guilt-tripped him to give up the win. Saying ''the way to win a championship is not alone'' He literally gifted his teammate a win, and had to take the brunt of it, losing out every precious point more he would have scored to close the gap to Max.

Now today, all Lando spoke about was getting a 1-2 for the team, yet his teammate only talked about winning. Where were the team orders today? Where did the words from Hungary disappear to?

All you know is that Lando deserved better, instead of getting fucked time and time again when he is driving at his best and doing everything he can to be the team player and fight for his own title which he's dreamed about every sine he was a little boy.

You couldn't attend Monza as you'd just flown back to Monaco from a modeling job in Brazil. You'd landed just in time to watch the race, screaming at the tv and heart aching for what Lando had to go through because of his ''team''

When the race ended and you saw how defeated Lando looked, you'd sent him a message saying you were home and that you loved him, knowing a simple message like that would calm him down and tell him you're there for him.

A few hours later, as you were just chilling in the living room watching some tv, you heard the front door open. You shot up and winced when you saw Lando walk through the door, your heart clenching at the sight of him.

He looked tired, frustrated, angry, sad, helpless. The list goes on. He had a pair of joggers with an oversized quadrant hoodie on, cap hiding his precious curls as his eyes were red and swollen, face drained of his usual brightness.

''Lan, baby'' you whispered as you walked up to him, watched him drop his bags and take his cap off.

He looked at you, his face softening when he saw you, as you enveloped him in a tight hug, trying to pour all of your love for him into it.

You soothed his back and played with the hair at the back of his neck and Lando buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing deep and staggered.

''I'm here, just breathe. Gonna all be okay Lan'' you said, trying to find the words to calm him down though it would take some time.

''I know, thank you'' he whispered, pulling back and kissing you gently as he cupped your face.

''Missed you'' he said, hugging you again.

''Missed you too my love. Wanna go shower and have something to eat? Just cuddle after?'' you asked, knowing thats' what he always wanted after a bad race.

''Yeah'' he said quietly before retreating to the bedroom while you ordered some food for the both of you.

You didn't press him at first, to start talking about today, or anything at all. He'd asked how your week was and that was it. Comfortable silence through dinner. Once you'd both eaten as much pizza as you could, you watched some more tv in silence, until your nerves gave up and you had to say something.

You pulled back from where you were cuddling Lando at his side and gently looked at him, hoping your eyes would tell him to please open up to you.

''Talk to me Lan'' you said.

He licked his lips. ''Not much to say really. Just fuck up after fuck up''

You sighed. You didn't want to show him pity, because that was the last thing he needed. But you told him how ''he needed to stop blaming himself and see that it was his team and teammate, as usual,'' and that ''you knew he did everything he could to give it his all, how he is driving at his best and it will all pay off soon, he just needs to give it time''

''Thank you baby, really, i don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much'' he said once you'd finished talking about the shitshow.

You leaned forward, pecking his nose. ''I love you too Lan, always''

You cuddled up again and watched something random again, just content to be with each other.

Lando had his arms wrapped around you, drawing lazy circles on your legs until his hands kept itching closer and closer to your core which was getting wetter and wetter with each movement. You didn't move or say anything though. You wanted him to carry on as he pleased, and use you as a distraction from everything.

He could probably feel your breathing increase though, and finally a few minutes later he let his hand slip into your sleep shorts, pushing your panties to the side and letting his fingers run through your folds.

Your breath hitched when he did that, and you opened your legs wider to give him better access, the both of you still not saying anything but letting your actions speak for themselves.

Your back was to Lando's chest, so he rested his chin on your shoulder as his fingers found your clit and started rubbing rough circles on it, pinching it now and then.

You closed your eyes, suppressing your moans, which Lando quickly told you not to hold in. ''Let them out baby, let me hear you'' he whispered din your ear.

So you did. When you felt his calloused index finger slide through your hole you let out a guttural moan, grinding yourself down on him as he added a second finger, thrusting them in and out hard and fast.

''Oh Lan, yes'' you whispered between breaths as he started nibbling on your sweet spot on your neck.

You were close, your body tensing at the feeling of a warmth starting to build up in your tummy and you realized you needed something to hold onto, so naturally, your hand found Lando's bulge, which by now had grown hard. You palmed him through his shorts, feeling his body jolt up with the contact.

''Fuck, y/n'' he said through gritted teeth.

''Lan I'm close, please'' you begged.

So he sped up his movements, fucking his fingers into you and curling them at just right time, sending you into an orgasmic bliss as your cum gushed all over Lando's fingers, messing your panties and shorts in the process.

''Fuck, god, Lando'' you breathed out, trying to steady it as much as you could to catch your breath again. You let your body fall back onto Lando's, only realizing now just how tense you'd gotten with his actions.

He slid his fingers out, bringing them up to his lips and licking them clean. ''My favorite'' he whispered.

Your cunt was still desperate for more, achingly clenching around nothing, and at the same time you could feel Lando's dick twitching him his shorts, also begging for attention.

Just as you were about to sink down onto your knees as give him some relief, Lando's words shook you to your core.

''Can I fuck you?'' he asked

Your brain was fizzled. Why was he asking? He knew he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with you, but also did he feel so reserved or upset that he felt the need to ask?

''Yes'' you said, eagerly, not caring how desperate you sounded, getting up form your position and watching how his eyes darkened when he saw you take off all your clothes and standing bare in front of him.

You stood there as Lando shamelessly let his eyes roam your body, licking his lips when they stopped at your dripping pussy.

He pulled you onto his lap, grabbing your face for a feverish kiss, not wasting time to let his tongue slip into your mouth as his hands wandered all over your body.

You kissed him back with as much urgency, as you let yourself grind on his thigh.

Lando let out a series of grunts as he looked down and saw the wet patch on his shorts that you left.

''Still wearing too many clothes baby'' you said, already working on taking his tshirt off as he raised his hips off the couch to rid his shorts.

Once he was finally as naked as you, you finally got onto your knees on the carpet, sitting between his legs and you took his thick girth and gave him a few pumps.

Lando's back arched off the couch as he settled his arms behind his head, resting it back and openly letting pornographic moans leave his mouth.

The noises he made as you took his tip into your mouth to suck on had you clenching your thighs together, you were sure you could cum by just listening.

You fondled with his balls as you pushed his cock further into your mouth until he was hitting the back of your throat, as you started a steady rhythm so fucking him in and out.

You looked up to see he has his eyes closed, mouth agape and he continued to let himself be heard, hips thrusting up every now and then at how sensitive he was everything his slit touched your throat.

''Fuckin hell, so good'' he mumbled, more to himself as you sped up your pace, eager to taste him.

Lando eventually bought his hands down to hold onto your face, thrusting his hips up to fuck himself into your mouth.

By now you were gagging around him, spit messing your chin and dripping down onto your thighs. Looking at that alone and hearing the sloppy sounded you were making was enough to push Lando over the edge.

He groaned as his dick twitched uncontrollably, his cum blasting out of him down your throat as his hold on your hair tightened.

You moaned at the salty taste of Lando as he praised your name like a mantra, praised you at how well you took him.

He let his body relax back, chest heaving as he was slowly coming down from his high when he finally opened his eyes and saw you still on your knees, wiping your chin with the back of your hand as your own breathing at reached new heights.

''Come here'' he said softly, pulling you onto his lap and cupping your face, gently this time, peppering your face in wet kisses as he finally licked your chin clean of the mixture of spit and cum.

He tucked your hair behind your ears as he bit down on your lower lip, feeling your grind yourself on him once again.

''Need to feel you love. Gonna let me fuck you now yeah?'' he said.

You loved when he spoke to you like that, used his words like that.

You quickly nodded your head, ''Please Lando'' you begged.

''Ride me first then I'll take you from behind?'' he asked again.

You didn't respond verbally though. You just braced your hands on his shoulders as Lando pumped himself a few times, running his cock through your folds before settling at your hole, letting you sink down on him fully in a single thrust.

Your foreheads were resting against each other as the feeling of pain and pleasure overtook your body, letting out rhythmic moans as your walls clenched around Lando.

''Fuck'' he breathlessly cooed as you bit down on your lower lip.

''Hmm'' was all you managed back.

Once your body was used to the intrusion, (you always had to have some time because Lando was bigger than average and it was stung bad at first) you lifted yourself up before slammed back down again, and you continued that rhythm as a string of obscene moans left both yours and Lando's mouths.

His hand were planted tightly on your hips, guiding your movements of riding his thick pole up and down as you couldn't help but lean down and take one his nipples into your mouth, moaned at how it felt to have it in you mouth as you bit and sucked on it. That had Lando a whining mess.

''My brat, so filthy. So fucking dirty'' he mumbled through gritted teeth, spit flying through his mouth as he said it.

Your pace was raw, riding him like your life depended on it, when Lando bought his hand down and let his fingers toy with your clit, quickly edging you on.

''Fuck Lando I'm gonna cum'' you said, panting in his face as his eyes were stuck on yours, growing darker with every thrust.

''Do it'' he said, sternly. The raspiness and hoarseness of his voice only turning you on as you leaned down and locked lips with his in a harsh kiss, both your tongues everywhere, so unable to even have a proper kiss - just licks and nips of each others mouth.

The moment he pinched your slit through his fingers, you were a shuddering mess in his arms. Your body shaking violently as your orgasm ripped through you, gushing your fluids onto Lando's dick, now running down your thighs and his as he took control of fucking himself into you.

''How do you manage to cum so violently baby? Are you okay?'' he asked, concerned etched on his face as he was always so shocked at how much cum you mustered up. Though not concerned enough to stop fucking you!

You breathed heavy, trying to talk and failing to do so he slowed his movements slightly.

''Fuck it you Lan, you don't know what you do to me'' you said, smirking at thinking how this will boost his ego.

''Yeah?'' he asked, picking up his pace again.

''Uh huh. All you'' you said, trying to keep up with him though your body was like jelly.

He sensed your weakness and gently pulled you up, man-handling your body to lay down on the couch as he placed himself between your legs, spreading them wide open before pushing his angry dick back into you, relentlessly chasing his own high now.

You shut your eyes and bit your lip when Lando leaned down and roughly sucked on your nipple, showing it no pity. Your hands found his hair, pulling at and tugging it roughly.

Lando continued his onslaught as his words started again. He was whispering how to were such a fucking good girl for letting him use you as a slut, taking his thick dick so nice, how one day he was gonna fuck a baby into you, how you'd be only his whore forever, and no one would ever get to know how good you are, how you ruined sex for him.

His words were quick to have you shaking underneath him again, an orgasmic bliss taking over your body as you were sure you would black out with the pace he was still going at.

''Uh fuck Lando, fuck me, oh god, please'' you moaned and begged, not sure what for.

He laughed, for the first time since the race ended. ''I am fucking you baby, and you're doing so good for me. I fucking love you so much'' he mumbled, putting pressure on your clit, sending you into yet another orgasm, fluids gushing out of your body uncontrollably.

Lando slowed his movements. ''Still want you form the back, get up'' he ordered. And as much as your body felt like it couldn't move, he made you move and positioned you nicely for himself, you were on your elbows, with your ass in the air and Lando sat on his heels and pumped himself a few times, letting his spit drop down onto this cock to lube himself before he finally pushed into your ass hole.

''Fucking love anal with you baby. So fucking hot'' he said through gritted teeth.

He pushed in all the way and by now words had long left your brain. All you could do was hold onto the pillow as tight as you could and shut your eyes, let them roll to the back of your head as Lando used you how he pleased.

You couldn't even muster up any energy to let any moans leave your mouth, so all you could do was pant and let out shaky breaths, with a few tears rolling down your cheeks.

Lando had pulled your body up, so you were leaning back against him and his hands snaked around to your front and squeezed and pulled at your boobs as he still slammed in and out of you.

''Lan, love you but I-I''

''Yes you can'' you interrupted, leaving open mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone.

Within seconds he'd sent you over the edge again, body quivering in his arms as he slowed his movements again, riding you through your orgasm.

''Lan''

''I know baby. One more, yeah? For me?''

How could you not when he was talking to you like that?

You nodded, and he handled your body once again and lay down on the couch, resuming his place from earlier and slowly, painfully almost, gliding his cock through your cunt again.

You held your breath, unsure how your body was gonna take it because as good as it felt, you were sore everywhere.

''You're so good. Such a good brat. One more baby, then we're done'' he said, leaning down to kiss you softly, though the bottom part of his body (and yours) was everything but soft. He ruthlessly slammed in and out of your core as you were starting to see stars now.

''Hm Lando wha-I-I'' you couldn't even form words now. Your body was on overdrive and you swear you were starting to feel things you'd never felt. You couldn't even describe what you were feeling when he asked you.

But just as his dick hit over G-spot over and over and over again, your body gave way and all of a sudden you were squirting, left right and center, unable to control it.

When Lando released what was happening, he couldn't stop his own dick from twitching unexplainably harshly, shooting ropes and ropes of milky white cum deep within you.

''FUCK, Y/N WHAT!?'' he exclaimed, unable to stop himself from shouting it out as he couldn't believe it was actually happening.

You though - you were in a state of bliss. Body tingling and fluttering as you just experienced squirting for the first time, and boy did it feel fucking amazing.

As Lando finally came down from your involuntary actions, he was quick to pull out of you and lean down, slurping and swallowing at every bit of juice and liquid your body just gave out.

His tongue on your pussy sent waves of pleasure and when he slid it through your hole, without really knowing what was happening, you ended up cumming AGAIN.

''Fuck LANDO!'' you shouted, not caring if your neighbors could hear you.

He blew some cool air over your cunt as he pulled back and gave you a sheepish smile.

''Sorry couldn't help myself'' he said, breathless as you were.

He let his weigh collapse onto your body and you arms wrapped around him tightly, trying to calm the both of you down though you were starting to shiver at the cold air hitting you sweaty skin.

Lando's curls were stuck on his forehead as your brushed them up and ran you hand through his hair.

''I've always said it and i will continue to. You are out of this world y/n. Fucking incredible in every fucking way. How the hell are you so good at making me feel this good? And I'm sorry - but you squirting is the single most hottest fucking thing you've ever done.'' he said, kissing you straight away and not giving you time to respond.

When he pulled back, you couldn't help but chuckle.

''Lan, you don't get it. Its the effect you have on me. You seriously have no idea what you do to my insides when you talk act, do anything for that matter. You'd just the most amazing person i know inside and out and just the thought of you does crazy things to me. Don't get even me started on what you make me feel when we fuck. It's unlike anything I've ever felt and i wouldn't have it any other way.''

''I don't know what i did to deserve you, but i love you so so much'' he whispered.

''I love you too baby. But promise me one thing. You wont let that asshole of a team bring you done. You need to know how fucking talented and incredible you are and will always be. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. If they do, they'll have to come through me and i will crush them. But seriously, you are the best out there and i promise the good times will come, you will always be MY world champion. Forget what everyone else says. I love you so much.

''Thank you'' he whispered softly again.

The rest of the night was spent in bed with lazy kisses and dare you say more when you say Lando made you squirt again the next morning ;)

[pbnbucks]

Nika x fem x Paige where the fem just transferred to UConn from another country or smth so her English is not good and she’s a new freshman so Paige and Nika show her around and flirt with her.

The two older girls come to agreement that they both want fem and always flirt her. They end up confessing one night and it leads to smut where they show her how much they care for her

word count : 1.2k

warnings : smut, cussing, overstim, teasing

summary : they showed you things you never thought you would see, living up to their promise.

the plane ride to uconn consisted of nerves and excitement, you’re from São Paulo, Brazil. when you first got the call from Ellen Herman to come play volleyball for her and the huskies you weren’t never going to think about it but your mother begged and begged for you to take it, and you did so your mother wouldnt worry, the hard part was you had to leave the day before mothers day leaving her and your 2 sisters alone. when you landed there was a bilingual chauffeur to pick you up from the airport and drop you off at the university, everyone greeted you including the athletic teams except the basketball team, they where on the end of the season trip to places like Croatia and Slovenia. which brings you to your next obstacle

its early October, your classes consisted of family consumer science and you picked up extra english classes. you english gotten better over the months as you spent more time with the team and you where able to spend time around more american’s and the team. its wasn’t until the 7th game you became a starter on the volleyball court, but what surprised you even more was the women’s basketball team wearing head to toe basketball issued gear. but thats not what surprised you it was the fact that 2 of the starters for the basketball team came up to you after the game. your first thought was that they were going to walk to somebody else but it gave it away when the rest of the team behind them kept smiling at you and then laughing to each other, as they basically backed you into a corner leaving you no room to escape from the tall muscular girls. they started off by introducing themselves and you introduced yourself, you hoped the conversation would end there but it didn’t, it went way farther then things could imagine. the brunette was the first to speak up after the quiet and awkward encounter. “we wanted to know if you wanted to come to this ice cream place with us so you can see how Connecticut really is” you thank the girls and agree to their idea.

“so where are you from?” the sweet blonde asks as she has been making small talk with you all night. “im from São Paulo Brazil, im guessing your from America but shes not?” you point at the brunette who clearly had a thick accent from a foreign country. “yea im from Zágreb Croatia.” she responds flashing a smile that catches your eye “you have a pretty smile” nika just smirks and give paige a look that makes paige jealous “you have pretty thighs, princess” nika blurts before she even thinks about what shes saying trying to play it off “thanks i guess?” you laugh getting a bit embarrassed from her comment.

you and the two girl have been hanging out for about 3 months now as you recieve a text from nika that said “we want you to come to our dorm princess. we want to show you things you’ve never seen before” at first you thought the girls where talking about Connecticut but they have such different plans on what to do with you. the girls wouldn’t let you say no to them as paige takes it upon herself to open the door for you as you get fully in nika tells you to sit on the couch with them, it only takes two minutes for nika to break the silence “i dont know why you sitting so far away from us ms brazil” you’re startled from her comment considering you weren’t that far and there was no other place to sit “what do you mean theres no other place to sit?” once you say that paige and nika exchange looks as she grabs you by the waist placing you onto her lap “what about right here princess? you like this spot” hoping you could shrug off her comment but she wouldn’t let it go “i asked you a question pretty, when someone asks you something you have to answer them” you try to hide your face as its only been 5 minutes in to her dorm and she already has you blushing and legs shaking “yes i like my spot” you whisper into her ear so you wouldn’t feel even more embarrassed “your spot? so possessive baby” you roll your eyes looking to the blonde with pleading eyes hoping she would save you from your own embarrassment, which doesn’t slide past nika making her smirk not even trying to hide her emotions full of lust “go on baby go sit with paige, shes the nicer one” she helps you get off her lap placing you right on top of paige as paige pushes you on to her lap as she places her large hands on your inner thigh. nika saw this and decided she had enough waiting. she pushes the hair out of your face getting closer to you at face level “you want us to fuck you?” you look to the blonde behind you as she only smiles back at you massaging your inner thigh you nod your head to the girl but she refuses to take it as a answer “i need you to use your words mama. if you dont nobodys going to touch you.” you can feel your arousal already forming a pool as just her accent gets you weak “yes please, i want to”

thats all she needed to pick you up like a toddler and placing you in the edge of the bed stripping you from your clothes revealing all the spots she wanted to see. she rubs her hands all over your stomach as the blonde enters the room but except this time in sweats and a sports bra “your so pretty baby” the brunette says placing a teasing kiss on your lips. she runs her finger through your slick folds leaving you needy wanting more but she declines and makes you wait “cmon baby i wanna hear the reason you got that sexy ass accent” she speaks placing a finger right before your entrance “por favor faça-me sentir bem, eu te imploro” and with that she finally enters her finger into you finally letting go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding as the long fingers sinks all the way in you slip out a pornographic moan that has nika feeling weak in her stomach as paige comes up next to her rubbing circles on your clit, making your legs begin to shake as nika adds another finger and paige continues the assult on your pussy licking a long stripe up your core making your hand fall to her head pushing her closer. “awww does that feel good baby?” the croatian teases you for how needy your body language is getting, you grind onto her fingers and paiges face, when you feel a knot forming in your stomach. “fuck- im gonna cum” once you say that paige runs her fingers up and down your shaky thighs trying to ease you into your release “oh really? i think you can hold it a little longer” the brunette says proving her point when she said paige was the nice once. nika knows exactly what shes doing as she pushes paiges head closer to your core as your wetness is practically dripping from paiges chin while nika continues to pound her fingers in to you not loosing speed what so ever. “pleasee, i cant hold it any more” you beg for the girl to let you release “what do you think paige should we let her cum?” the blonde nods her head out of sympathy for you as they both put you through a endless amount of teasing all night “go on baby, cum all over paiges face and my fingers.” this time it feels different, you weren’t just cuming, you’re squirting. nika sits there in shock as paige continues to try and get every bit of cum she can moaning onto your clit sending vibrations through your body. “yeaa thats it, such a good pussy” the girl praises as she takes her fingers out of you pulling her body up to kiss you. “if i knew you where going to react like that, i would’ve been the one to eat that pretty pussy princess.”

[cottonlemonade]

First Kiss

word count: 2292 || avg. reading time: 10 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Ushijima x chubby manager!Reader (feat. Jackals and Adlers)

genre: fluff with spice

warnings: lots of spoilers, mdni

request: medium papaya lemonade with a slice of starfruit for Ushijima || fluffy-spicy first kiss with Ushijima, as manager

Ushijima knew he was in trouble when Hinata proudly sent him a message with a picture attached, bragging about MSBY’s new manager. In the team photo, you were hard to overlook, being much much shorter than most of the players (even Hinata) and flanked by a beaming Bokuto and a smugly grinning Atsumu, both having a hand slung over your shoulder. The official Black Jackals jacket was half-zipped on your rounded hips, and with an excited smile on your face, you held up a glossy team banner announcing a new social media hashtag. Mindlessly typing, Ushijima somehow landed on the team’s page and scrolled through the posts. The jackals certainly looked like worthy opponents - and unserious goofballs - but his snooping stopped at a short clip with the new assistant manager. He pressed play.

You were introducing yourself in charmingly accented Japanese, laughing whenever Bokuto, who was obviously the one filming, gave you a thumbs up after every sentence. With a little difficulty, you told the invisible audience to look forward to the next game. At the end of the video, the camera turned and Bokuto‘s grin filled the screen, calling in that booming voice of his how great their team was especially with their new addition. Ushijima couldn‘t disagree. The concept of falling at first sight, especially for someone he had never met before was absurd, but he couldn‘t stop staring at you. He played the clip a few more times, completely enamored by your voice and laughter. Rolling over in his bed so he lay on his stomach, Ushijima opened the chat with his old rival back up.

Hinata Shouyou, I have a proposition.

“Just like old times, hey?!“, Bokuto slapped Kageyama hard on the shoulder. The setter rolled his neck but nodded politely. It had taken little to no persuasion to invite the MSBY team to a long weekend of friendly training matches in Tokyo. Ushijima bowed when he saw Hinata jump out of the large taxi, shoulders significantly broadened, freckle-faced from his time in Brazil playing for hours in the sun, and just as excited as ever.

“Ushijima-san.“, he grinned and bowed deeply, “I look forward to winning against you - again.“

The former captain graced him with a small smile and was about to launch into a short speech he prepared when you wiggled out of your seat and stepped onto the asphalt. He had a clear view over Hinata‘s head and didn‘t hide his blatant staring in the slightest. The camera didn‘t do you justice, he thought. You were even lovelier in person.

You called the team to order and they all assembled into a neat row Ushijima wouldn‘t have expected them to be capable of. The coaches both went to greet each other like old friends and you stepped forward with a large box in hand that looked heavy. You held it out with a smile, thanking them for the invitation and Ushijima cut into Hirugami‘s way to accept the gift.

His captain eyed him for a moment, then smirked knowingly and welcomed you before leading everyone inside.

“That‘s an awful lot of staring you‘re doing.“, Hoshiumi plopped down on the bench next to him, taking a few deep gulps from his water bottle.

“What?“

“Yeah, why don‘t you go talk to her?“, Hirugami joined him on his other side, retying his shoes.

“We‘re in the middle of a game.“, Ushijima noted and Hoshiumi shared a look with the captain. Obviously, neither of them had expected that he would so readily admit to his crush.

Apart from that one time when Ushijima was too busy watching you take notes for analysis and let Bokuto serve an ace right next to him, the match went off without further incidents.

Afterward, the teams went out for dinner and he listened to a long discussion between you and Hinata about your favorite movies. Ushijima was grateful when the wing spiker invited him into the conversation. He kept talking to you long after the majority of the others became sleepy from good food and drink. As you excused yourself to the bathroom, Atsumu took your spot across from him, leaned over the table with long steepled fingers, and said conspiratorially, “Little birdie told me, yer crushin‘ hard on our new manager.“

“Are you referring to Hoshiumi this way because his old school‘s mascot is a seagull?“, Ushijima asked genuinely.

Atsumu shook his head, taken aback by this unforeseen display of logic.

“I- no… no! Yer not being very sleek about it.“, the opposing setter‘s cockiness returned, “It was real easy to figure out.“

“After Hinata told you.“, Bokuto added, turning a neighboring chair 180 degrees and resting his arms on the back.

“Bokkun! I was havin‘ a moment here.“

“Sorry. - So, are you gonna ask her out? She isn‘t seeing anyone. I asked.“

Ushijima blinked.

When they met for the next day’s training, Ushijima should have known the others were up to something when they kept dragging you over to him for no apparent reason other than to brag about his accomplishments.

“Did you know he is one of the top 5 aces in the country?”

“He’s left-handed. Diddya notice? Makes him extra dangerous.”

“Do you remember the allrounder setter we told you about? The one who was so good he went to play for Argentina right out of high school? Yeah. He never managed to beat Ushijima.”

“He is so tall, he is like 1.90m! Y/n, look!”

You frowned as Hinata did a little jump to show their height difference.

Despite having gotten used to your team’s antics very quickly, this was a new peak of weirdness. You wished desperately for them to simmer down. At this rate, they’d make it too obvious how much you were crushing on their stoic opponent. Ever since you’d seen him play for the first time in his debut game for the Adlers you couldn’t help but admire his calm determination and ferocity on the court while his clumsy non-existent eloquence during interviews had you squealing with cute aggression into any nearby pillow. You had hoped you were playing it cool enough that the others didn’t catch on, but judging by their parading him in front of you like a juicy socially awkward apple waiting for your first bite, you weren’t too sure.

“How about we make some bets!”, Bokuto suggested, “Whichever team wins the most sets gets treated to dinner tonight.”

“Oh, I like that. How about, whichever spiker makes the most points gets to order extra dessert.”, Hoshiumi said confidently with his arms crossed.

“Oooh!”, Atsumu called, “How about if Omi-omi-“

“Leave me out of it.”, Sakusa grumbled from behind him.

“Fine then.”, the setter looked around, locked eyes with you and Ushijima and a grin that suggested pure evil intent grew on his face, “If Ushijima-san gets five spikes past our defenses, Y/n-kun’s gonna give him a little smooch riiiight on the cheek.”

“Now hold on a moment…”, you began nervously.

“Deal.”, Ushijima said and turned on his heel to join his team in the warmups. You only looked after him, crumpling from embarrassment.

“Oh no!”, Atsumu called dramatically, “That was the fourth spike he got past us.”

Bokuto joined him, laying the back of his hand across his forehead in his best rendition of any over-acted theater play ever, “Whatever shall we do, Tsum-Tsum?”

“How about you play the freaking game?”, Sakusa pressed out through gritted teeth. He couldn’t believe that these idiots seriously tackled him aside whenever he went to block one of Ushijima’s monster spikes.

“Don’t be such a spoilsport.”, Bokuto went to pat him on the back but Sakusa turned away like a pouty germaphobic child, “As soon as the five spikes are through you, Meian and Tomas can block him as much as you want, hm?”

Sakusa raised an unamused brow and turned to the team’s middle blockers who nodded and gave him two thumbs-up each. He scoffed and focused back on the game.

“That makes five.”, Hinata sighed.

Your face was hot enough to fry an egg. If they’d at least pretended to block the spikes any better! Ushijima probably thought you were some chubby dork too inept to get her own lovers.

And now, even worse, you were forced to sit on the sidelines, taking valuable notes with the knowledge that once the game ended, you would have to pay up.

The teams thanked each other for the first match and separated to their respective coaches for water and a game summary. But Bokuto didn‘t let Coach Foster get very far before grabbing your wrist and together with Atsumu and Hinata shepherded you across the court like some kind of offering.

Ushijima lowered his water bottle and looked at you, matching your blush with his own.

“Here.“, Kageyama held up a clean towel to his friend.

When the spiker looked at him imploringly, Kageyama added, “To wipe the sweat off your face first.“

The whole thing was made so much worse with everyone just smirking and staring at you two. You were very grateful when Hirugami pushed his teammate into a bow so you could reach him more easily. Gathering your scattered pieces of courage you stepped forward and gave him a quick featherlike kiss on the cheek. Your lips began to burn and the rest of your face threatened to melt.

Ushijima held your gaze and said, “Thank you.“, watching as you walked back to your bench under the hollering of the chaotic trio.

To cool off while the teams dug into their lunch orders, you offered to fill up all the water bottles. That would keep you busy and out of mischief range for a little while.

You absently filled bottle after bottle, feeling your lips tingle at the memory of how surprisingly soft his skin had been. As the water steadily reached the brim your eyes wandered over the many brochures on the long table next to you. They offered classes for children and seniors, even training camps with the Adlers themselves. You smiled at the thought of Ushijima trying to explain to a grandfather how to spike. And it wasn‘t difficult to imagine a flock of grandmothers swarming around him, all talking up their granddaughters as excellent marriage candidates.

“Y/n-san.“ You almost dropped your current bottle when you spun around.

“Oh hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn‘t you eat with the others?“

Ushijima shook his head, pulled a small plastic box from his jacket and held it out to you. It was a slice of strawberry roll cake. You looked from the cake to him in confusion.

“They accidentally sent an extra dessert with our order. I saved it before the others could get to it.“ He stretched his long arm if possible even further towards you.

“Thank you. That‘s very sweet of you.“ And there you went again, blushing like an idiot. You took the cake and waited in the hopes he would continue the conversation. When he didn‘t, you said, “I‘m sorry about earlier.“

“What do you mean?“

“The-the kiss.“

“Why would you be sorry? I should be the one apologizing. I didn‘t mean to make you uncomfortable.“

“You didn‘t!“, you said quickly, “I mean, who would be uncomfortable being kissed by someone as handsome as you.“

“But I didn‘t kiss you.“, he observed with a frown.

“Oh, right…“ You resisted the ever growing urge to facepalm and instead went to hide your cringing face by turning off the water and screwing shut the last bottle.

When you turned back to him, he still stood there, seemingly trying to think of something to say. Your heart sputtered when he asked, “May I?“

“May you…?“

“May I kiss you?“

“I… you… yes. Please.“

He stepped forward and took the cake from you to place it on the corner of the water fountain, then lay both large hands on your hips and with a surprised gasp from you, lifted you easily onto the table. You saw the appeal, you thought with a silly inner chuckle, not much backbending on his end involved now. His dark eyes searched yours for any protest before he leaned in. The first kiss was gentle, lips curiously brushing each other. He broke away, again waiting for a moment for any sign from you that he should stop but when none came he got bolder. One hand on the table next to your temptingly plush thigh, the other pressed against the wall behind you to steady himself, Ushijima‘s kiss became open mouthed. You grabbed the collar of his jacket and slipped your tongue between his lips. He pushed closer when he felt your legs part and let his hand wander from the table to your waist, to pull you into him. His strong arm wrapped around you, the kiss was needy and urgent, like if you were to end it, the world would stop spinning. You felt him throb against your thigh when your hand went up to grab his sweat soaked hair. Greedy fingers slid under his shirt, tracing his toned stomach and teased the edge of his waistband.

“Y/n-san…“, he groaned against your lips and tightened the grip on your hip, never having known this desperate need for someone‘s touch. You kissed your way down to his neck and God, if you weren‘t doing this in a corridor-

“Do you- hah… do you want to go on a date with me?“

You came back up for air, leaving a faint pink spot on his skin behind. It was safe to assume that he was serious in his question so instead of laughing at the absurdity of even considering a different answer, you simply replied, “Yes, I‘d love to.“

a/n: this officially marks the end of my summer lemonade stand. I am so sorry that this took two months to finish! The next event I have had lurking since May but I won’t take as many requests that time because otherwise we’ll be here til Christmas xD

Thank you so much to the anon who requested this prompt, I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time 🌟

[clawsdevour]

｡. ˚oikawa husband hcs

wc: 0.6k content warning: post-time skip, fluff, goofy silly husband oikawa, not proofread

っ ᐟ˒𓂂

-Oikawa, the type of husband to love to just hold your hand. Everytime he does though, he always looks at it to admire the ring he picked out for you the moment he knew you were the one. He can't help but smile and kiss the small gem while admiring the luck.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to absolutely love laughing with you. It's not that he likes laughing but more of hearing you laugh with him. He enjoys silly little moments where you get to laugh off a small mistake or just simple tickle fights.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to plan little "slumber parties" with you. He'd go out his way to buy little pouches of face masks and cut up little cucumbers for your eyes. While you're at it, Oikawa would also enjoy baking cookies to eat while you both binge-watch your current favorite shows. He loves doing little fun activities like these because you both get a chance to unwind and relax together.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to probably gossip with you about his volleyball team and old friends like how he met Hinata in Brazil. He loves telling you about his volleyball career as well since it's a big part of who he is and he appreciates how you love every version of him.. especially when you're real invested in the short volleyball gossip sessions.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to love ruining your cute couple selfies by making the goofiest faces mid pic until you get serious. Don't get me wrong, he enjoys taking selfies. But what he enjoys most is the memory behind the photos.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to give you his all. Every small effort he puts into you for instance, making you a simple breakfast. He puts every little thought into every action. Do you like bacon? He'd sizzle a fresh batch for you. Do you like your eggs whole or scrambled with salt and pepper? If you don't he wouldn't cook it that way. He remembers every little detail without you even realizing it.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to give you the best shoulder massages when you're having one of those days. He'd immediately notice your slight shift in energy and tell you to sit down in front of him while his fingers work that setter magic, relieving all the pent up stress and freeing up your tensed muscles while he reassures you with his comforting words.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to love going out on dates with you. He enjoys planning them, calling restaurants, booking flights, and overall going above and beyond for a good time with the one he loves the most. He truly loves to spoil you. He'd enjoy taking you out to foreign countries where you both can bask in the ambiance of new land where it's just you two.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to be a complete fatass for the food you cook. Doesn't matter if you're a bad or a good chef, he genuinely likes that you enjoy cooking for him. Every meal he eats, he can feel the love that you cooked it with every bite that just gets better. He's stuffing his cheeks full like a hamster to the point where he'd accidentally end up choking for water.

-Oikawa, the type of husband to definitely send you reels while he's out for work. He'd for sure be watching them and laugh when reading the comment section to the point where he has to send you the reels and sends screenshots of the comments he found the funniest. Oikawa would quite literally laugh in your dms saying stuff like "LOL HINATA DID THIS ONCE"

masterlist here

[assortedseaglass]

Talk Refined - Chapter One

Michael Gavey x Reader

[Masterlist]

Summary: When Michael Gavey unwittingly insults a fellow Oxford student, they enter into a game of intellectual cat and mouse.

Content Warnings (this chapter in bold): Language, Smut, Saltburn Spoilers

Pool was never your forte. Truth be told, you were more of a darts girl. There was something though, in the soft click of the balls knocking together and the damp thunk of them landing in the pocket that scratched an itch on your over-worked mind.

Hilary term was coming to an end, and with it brought the dread that your extended essay title had been submitted. ‘“For the sake of some colour;” women as decoration, in response to Turner’s High Street, Oxford (1810)””. No going back now.

You’d escaped the January madness that had descended on your best friend, Esme. Like most other courses, she had exams at the start of the new year and spent her days in the library and nights in the pub. Much like now, come to think of it.

“You’re up,” you called to your friend as you missed potting a red. “Esme!”

“Sorry! Sorry,” she shimmied between the pool table and a few pub patrons, taking her cue in hand and leaning over the felt green. Click, thunk. A yellow sank into the corner pocket.

“Who were you talking to?” You indicated a man in his early twenties, eyeing up Esme’s backside as she leant over the table to reach another yellow.

“Bartender,” she missed the ball and passed the cue back over the table. You took it and swiftly potted a red. “Nice one. Just borrowing this,” she lit her cigarette with a metal lighter. When she was done, she tossed it back to the bartender and he winked.

The two of you’d met at a humanities and arts, inter-college social less than two weeks into your first term. Dress as your subject and be ready for a night of frivolity even Elagabalus couldn’t imagine. You’d found some of silk scarves in a charity shop, bought cheap pearls from Primark and gone as the Girl with a Pearl Earring. Outside the Blenheim was where you first spotted her. Dressed in a bedsheet draped as a peplos, she had climbed a lamppost and was swigging wine straight from the bottle. That is a girl I want to be friends with, you’d thought, and promptly beelined for her and begged for the bottle.

“You doing philosophy?” You asked after chugging the cheap merlot.

“Classics. And you, I’m guessing history-”

“History of art, yeah.”

The next morning, you’d woken in her dorm room at Brasenose, the autumn sunlight blinding and your breath smelling as if something had crawled inside you and died there. Esme didn’t mind. Her mouth was stained red from the wine and a hickey the size of Brazil adorned her neck. You’d been inseparable ever since.

“Bollocks,” you missed potting a red and, as Esme swept to grab to pool cue, the pub erupted in song.

“RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY!”

“Ahah ahah ahaaaaaaaah!” Esme sang the refrain in your ear as she twirled you round, the cue discarded on the table.

“DO YA DO YA DO YA DO YA!?”

“Fuck’s sake,” It was hard not to smile despite your best efforts. You felt like a twat but no-one was looking at you. All were too busy singing to notice the two tipsy girls dancing by the pool table. In any case, the only person whose opinion mattered to you was the one spinning you in her arms. One wayward spin and bumped you into the pool table. Giggling, you opened your arms to be embraced once more-

“Oh shit,” Esme whispered hastily, suddenly standing straight and flattening her hair. “Got any lip gloss?”

“Erm,” you patted your pockets. “No sorry.”

“Damn,”

“Who’ve you seen?” you smirked, standing by your best friend’s shoulder and following her line of sight. Well, it could have been any number of students in the packed pub. There were some rugby lads, double polos with both collars popped. Pretty boy Felix Catton and his posse of poshos. It could have even been that girl Eleanor, now greeting a friend at the bar. Esme and Eleanor hooked up at the Brasenose Christmas party. Esme said it was “unexpected” and “not her usual flavour”, but you’d met her once after tutorial, and the way she looked at her tutor’s bottom as it wiggled down the corridor in her Peacock’s pencil skirt was not one of envy. “Well?” You asked impatiently. “Who is it?”

“There, blue check shirt, dark hair.” Esme pointed at the bar where such a man was standing. Two pints of lager in hand, he turned and seemed to look around the pub. “Cute, isn’t he? He’s at Brasenose too, doing English I think.”

“Oh right.” As a Wadham girl, you had never seen this boy before. You supposed he was quite good-looking, in a boy-next-door sort of way. You thought perhaps he would be bonny, were it not for the solemn expression on his face. He meandered through the crowd to a small table at which sat another boy.

The two were starkly different. Where Esme’s boy was dark haired, the other was fair. Esme’s boy was stocky, but even sat down the other was gangly, and while Esme’s boy clearly wasn’t an avid reader of Esquire, the blond boy looked like he’d rolled around Oxfam’s bargain bin in total darkness and worn whatever stuck; a pair of baggy cargo shorts pulled up far too high and cinched tightly with a black belt, a pair of Merrell trainers and a novelty tshirt. THIS IS HOW I ROLL. Below the wording was an anagram and equation.

If it weren’t for the middle-aged glasses and frankly atrocious haircut, he’d be quite good looking too. Two Oxford virgins; Trinny and Susannah’s wet dream.

“What’s his name then?”

“Oliver, I think.” Esme was licking her lips and fussing with her bangles.

“You look great,” you swatted at her hand. “And the other one?”

“No idea. They’re always hanging around together. Oliver,” she said his name with some uncertainty. “Oliver never says anything, the other one’s always talking a mile a minute but I haven’t really seen him about. Doesn’t go to any parties.”

“Him and the girl with-”

“Agoraphobia.” You said in unison. The characters of Esme’s college were more vivid to you now than those in a Dickens novel.

“I bet he does maths,”

“I told you, he does English.”

“No,” you tut. “The other one.”

“I reckon it’s physics.”

“Put a pint on it?”

“You’re on,” Esme smacked your hip. “Come on, there’s a table by the bar.”

Following the plume of her cigarette smoke, Esme led you to the sticky wooden table and ordered you a pint of Thatchers. She, a pint of Stella. At the table beside you both, Maybe Oliver and The Other One were talking quickly. Well, the maths-slash-physics boy was. Maybe Oliver was staring distractedly towards the other end of the pub. You looked over your shoulder. Felix Catton was settling down with another round of beers, his stupid eyebrow piercing gleaming in the low pub lights.

“Swap with me,” Esme whispered.

“What?”

“Swap with me so I can look at Oliver.”

You sighed and stood up, shuffling round the table to sit parallel to Oliver. Esme smiled at him as she sat down and he smiled back. When she giggled, you kicked her under the table. Now across from maths-slash-physics, you could see him clearly.

This close, you stood by your assessment that he could have been handsome. His light eyes were framed by not just those hideous glasses but thick, dark lashes. He had a jawline and cheekbones that would make Agyness Deyn jealous. His lips, though strangely curved were plump, and he had a distracting habit of frequently wetting them. But there was something so distinctly and undefinably creepy about him. He talked like a snake, quickly with hissed “s”s and “t”s. You noticed with unease that he barely blinked as he watched for any minutia in his friend’s reaction, and he moved with an almost jerky stiffness. All elbows and angles. This strange combination of beautiful and revolting made him impossible to ignore. Like catching yourself in the mirror after dying your hair. A strange feeling of the uncanny.  

He caught your eye, sensing you staring at him, and you quickly glanced at Esme. Shit. She’d been talking to you about something.

“-of course, it’s easy to compare the Iliad and the Aeneid, but really they’re very different.”

Aha. She was trying to impress, hoping Maybe Oliver would hear. “Oh yes?” You leant forward on your arm and wiggled your eyebrows at her. “Tell me more.”

Esme was clearly delighted that you’d cottoned on to her plan. Brushing her hair from her shoulders and leaning forward too, she continued. “Well, you have to start with the language. One is Greek and one is Latin. Now, we go through this in linguistics. Everyone has to get up to speed with their Greek and Latin so we’re all on the same level-”

You giggled and she kicked you under the table. Esme knew you already knew this and didn’t care. You knew that Esme was just showboating. When you kicked her back she got the giggles and glanced at Maybe Oliver. His eyes were still trained on the back of the pub, and she sighed, taking a gulp of beer. In perfect symmetry, you drank your cider and in the lull you admired the lengths your friend went to flirt with a seemingly average boy.

“-Jameson spends the whole time staring at her tits, completely ignoring the fact she can barely do her times tables.”

Esme choked a little on her drink and your eyebrows shot upwards with barely contained glee. This was far more interesting. You and Esme watched each other, communing telepathically about the intriguing conversation between the boys next to you.

“-times tables, Oliver!”

“Told you it was maths!” You whispered at Esme. Without a word, she got up with a smile to buy you another pint.

“-just fuck off and do history of art, love, save us all the trouble!”

You stilled in your seat, cider halfway to your lips. Did he just-? You ran the sentence over in your mind. “Fuck off and do history of art, love, save us all the trouble.” It wasn’t the first time you’d encountered snobbery about your selected study. Friends from school deemed it “hoity-toity,” and even your parents had worried about your career prospects.

“But what can you actually do with a history of art degree?”

You’d thought Oxford would be different. Surrounded by other young minds, eager for knowledge and an appreciation of the world around them, freshly opened up like your first bottle of champagne; long-awaited, exciting and with a little bit of bite. Just for the adults.

“Excuse me?” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you leant over a little and smiled at the pair of boys. You were proud of your subject but that eagerness to prove its, and your, worth was impossible to ignore. Oliver and Maths Boy looked at you.  “Do you,” you cleared your throat. “What’s wrong with history of art?”

The gangly boy scoffed and turned rigidly in his chair to face you. Like most other nerds, you’d expected him to shy away from anyone outside of his carefully selected circle. This boy, however, seemed to take up an enormous space in your mind. He was confident. Already taken aback by his vicious comment, that threw you even more.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s an easy option that’s become an elitist haven for the middle class.” He pushed his glasses up his long nose with a bony finger. “You ever met any of those ‘students’?” He put air quotes around that last word and you flinched, neck bristling with anger. You doubt he’d have noticed if you put your top over your head and did the Cupid Shuffle; he continued as if nothing happened.

“Load of public-school wankers spouting their useless opinions on aristocrats lounging about in gilded frames, just so they can justify getting a job in daddy’s gallery. It’s an irrelevant, niche subject for people who think their view of the world is superior to us mere plebs’.”

“Michael,” Oliver murmured. He turned to you, not quite looking you in the eye. “Sorry-”

“Here’s your pint,” Esme placed another Thatchers before you. Both you and “Michael” ignored your friends.

“You think it’s irrelevant?” You took a swig of cider without taking your eyes off him. Angry little prick, this fella. You knew the like; maths, physics, economics, law. The students were all the same. Thinking they were better than everyone else because they could swan off into the sunset with £40k job straight out of uni and reap the benefits that the arts provided them without any need to know better. The designer clothes and fast cars, the beautiful buildings they worked in, the nails on the woman ripping open the condom wrapper…

“What’s irrelevant?” Esme said brightly. She held out her hand for Oliver. “Esme, hi.”

“Oliver-”

“History of art, apparently.” You said haughtily.

“Ouch. Who said that?” Esme sat down beside you, still smiling at Oliver.

“Michael.”

“Who’s Michael?”

“Michael Gavey.” The man in question announced himself by extending a long arm in Esme’s direction. She shook his with slight shock and raised her eyebrows at Oliver. He lowered his head in shame.

“Our girl here’s a history of art student.” Esme patted your hand. If you, Esme and Oliver expected this to soften Michael, it didn’t work.

“Ah,” he smiled, mirth lighting his eyes. “That’s why you’re so tetchy. Which school was it then? Cheltenham? Roedean?”

“She went to state comp actually,” Ever your champion, Esme came to your defence.

“Scholarship student?” Michael sneered.

“No,” you rebuffed quickly.

“What’s wrong with that? Me and Oliver here are.”

“Nothing You were the one trying to get me to say it was.”

Michael smiled with satisfaction and an awkward silence fell between the four of you. The clink of glasses and drunken chatter continued around you. This wasn’t the first charged student encounter that had happened in this pub, nor would it be the last.

“I suppose you think maths is superior?” You folded your arms and raised an eyebrow. A challenge. Prove it then.

“Of course it is,”

It was your turn to scoff. “Why can’t there be room for both?”

“There is room for both. Mathematics is just more important.”

“Jesus,” Oliver rubbed his hands over his face.

“Mathematics is the foundation for everything. The modern world as we know it wouldn’t exist without it. Technology, healthcare, finance, governance, everything. It prevents chaos. Without mathematics, society would collapse.” He fidgeted in his chair to turn more vividly towards you, his hands excitedly grasping for something in front of him that didn’t exist. Maths, probably. “We create predictions and complex design systems so that life as we know it can exist, and continue to exist.”

He looked at you as though you should have been impressed. You supposed his excitement was quite sweet. In truth, you knew maths was important. History of art student though you were, you weren’t an idiot. You were at one of the world’s top universities for God’s sake.

“But what’s the point of existing if there’s nothing to enjoy? To live for?”

“Pardon?” What had he expected? For you to roll over and kiss his feet? Take him round the back of the pub for a quick knee tremble? “Oh yes, Michael, tell me more about Fermat’s conjecture! More! More!”

“Art is what makes life worth living for. Its history helps us understand politics, religions, societies and peoples of the past.”

“All that from staring at a Bruegels?” Michael looked at Oliver with a laugh, hoping for back up. Oliver was tearing up a beer mat.

“Yes!”

“Well, it’s never done anything for me.”

His arrogance and ignorance was astounding. This final comment was the drop that sent you overflowing with exasperation. “Yes it has,” you snapped. Michael glared at you. “Aside from what I literally just said, art has done everything for you. Take today for example.”

At this, Michael sat forward. He couldn’t resist a reasoned argument with concrete evidence.

“You woke up this morning at Brasenose, is it?” He nodded. “At Brasenose, in a dorm with Carol Vorderman posters on the walls, posters designed by graphic designers who studied art. Those posters line the walls of a building almost five hundred years old. From barely known architects to Powell and Moya, each added to its history with their extensive understanding of art and beauty. For some reason you then got up and decided to put on that God awful tshirt which, although many would believe otherwise, was designed to be aesthetically pleasing or visually arresting. The latter it certainly is. There you go. Art.” You were on a role.

“I’m assuming you had lectures or tutorial today? The book you read? The covers were made by, you guessed it, artists. You came here with Oliver and decided to get a craft beer because you’re a pretentious prick, and got the darker of the two because, and I agree with you here, the label is prettier. You’re gonna go home in an hour or two when you’ve had one too many pints and ogled that pretty girl at the bar,” you pointed at Eleanor. “Whose thong caught your eye above her low rises. Fashion? That’s art by the way and extremely influential on society ‘as we know it’.” You quoted him back and loved the way his lips quirked into a tight line.

“And thinking of her and her pretty thong, you’ll whack out ZOO mag and whack out a swift one over some big-titted page three girl in a pair of lace knickers that were designed by someone with a fashion degree. Art.”

Esme and Oliver stared at you. A manic, self-satisfied smile was plastered on your face, and when you downed your pint to cool down from the warmth that outpouring had exerted, Oliver actually smiled. Michael said nothing. Did nothing. He was entirely, utterly unreadable. You wanted to smack him.

He glanced from you to Esme, to Oliver and at last to his pint. Like you had done, he picked it up, finish it in three gulps and placed it back on the table. “Oh, sweet baby Jesus.” What the fuck was he talking about? He spoke to his friend as if you and Esme had ceased to exist. “Going for a slash. Get me another pint please, Oliver? Thanks.” He stood from his chair, unfurling like a stick insect, and made purposefully for the gents’.

Your mouth fell open. Esme chuckled nervously. “He’s a charmer,” she said to Oliver.

“Yeah, ‘scuse,” he muttered, shuffling awkwardly to the bar.

You both sat in your chairs, baffled silence befalling of you. “Well, no double dates for us then.” Esme said.

You laughed. “No date for you fullstop.”

“Yeah,” Esme glanced at the bar where Oliver was now waving at someone. You watched as he made his way over to Felix Catton and his friends. “Bit dull, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Oliver sat down as the rest of the posho’s table cheered. “Though if he’s friends with Felix Catton…?”

“Didn’t realise you were so shallow?” Esme teased.

“I’m not! But the parties, Esme, the parties!”

“I know, I know, I’ll remember that Christmas one forever. Oh God, here he comes,” Esme shrank in her seat. Michael was weaving through the crowd back towards the table.

“Why isn’t he going to sit with Felix and Oliver?” You whispered. “He better not be coming back here.”

You and Esme watched as his approached slowed, faltering when he noticed Oliver and his pint were missing. He glanced around, looking at his feet as if to find Oliver on the floor. It was painful. Watching the realisation dawn on his face. You and Esme knew it before he did.

A hand raised in the air; he had spotted Oliver at Felix’s table. You watched, with pity and embarrassment, as Michael waved and Oliver turned away.

“Shit,” Esme said.

Hand moving to push up his glasses, Michael, with head hung low, left.

“Shit,” Esme said again. “Bet you feel like a bitch for shouting at him now.”

And despite his pomp and arrogance, his cynicism and creepiness, you really did feel awful.

Notes: The amount of research I did for this was wholly unnecessary. Added some links because 2006/2007 was quite a place. The script hit me like a fucking train. It says, “Back with Michael: CRUSHED.”

Many thanks to @thecruel for their help with the transcript of the Saltburn pub scene, and to @ewanmitchellcrumbs for the Michael Gavey inspo, your headcanons are always spot on.

Tags: @lexwolfhale* @theoneeyedprince @lovebittenbyevans @fan-goddess @ellrond @very-straight-blog @arcielee @tsujifreya @liv-cole @myfandomprompts @annoyingkittydetective* @elizarbell @solisarium @thekinslayersswordhand @nightdiamond8663* @slowlysparklyninja* @kate-to-the-ki @bellaisasleep @xxxkat3xxx @lacebvnny @moonriseoverkyoto @ewanmitchellcrumbs @moonlightfoxx @pendragora @aemonds-holy-milk @st-eve-barnes @sapphire-writes @babyblue711 @targaryenrealnessdarling @slytherincursebreaker @bottlesandbarricades @valeskafics @anjelicawrites @exitpursuedbyavulcan @barbieaemond @chattylurker @itbmojojoejo @humanpurposes @cyeco13 @heimtathurs @in-a-mountain-pool

*could not tag

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚Telepatía

✧.* Request- @cvmtitss

"Hey, my first time requesting you! I was wondering if you could do a joost w a fem reader where she's famous as well and she has a concert but doesn't think joost can make it due to him being busy or she thinks he has a tour and he comes back early without telling her. And so while she's performing the music, either suddenly changes or turns off and then she turns around and sees joost like proposing overall it js seems rlly cute and fluffy ❤️"

✧.* Pair - Joost Klein x Fem! Musician! Reader

✧.* Tags & Warnings - fluff

✧.* Summary - Joost proposes to the love of his life while she is performing on stage in front of thousands of fans.

✧.* Extra- The reader's performance will be inspired by Kali Uchis' stage performance at Lollapalooza in Brazil (2023) because i'm obsessed with that fucking performance LMAO but if you guys don't like it, ofc change it up for your own imagination. Also highlighted parts are dutch.

✧.* Word Count - 1,442

It was one of the last tours that (Y/N) was doing and she decided to add the cherry on top in Brazil. She had everything ready to go. Her crew, her outfits, the stage, but she was missing one important thing. Her man. Joost was always there to support (Y/N) at her concerts. Whether it was on stage performing with her or watching her with heart eyes behind the scenes. This time, he was on his own tour in Europe, which was what (Y/N) thought.

It was a couple hours before the show was about to start and (Y/N) was starting to get ready while being on the phone with Joost. l “I’m really sad you aren’t here with me, my love,” she expressed.

She heard Joost softly chuckle on the other line. “I know, honey. I wish I was there with you. I love watching you sing and dance, but this is your last show and I finish mine next week. We’ll see each other soon, very soon, gorgeous.”

(Y/N) was content to hear that. She couldn’t wait to see her lover. “I know, im so excited to see you again. Anyways, I got to go. My stylist just arrived,” She blew him a kiss and ended the call with ‘I love you’ one of the few phrases she knows in dutch.

Mine while, in a small town in Brazil, Joost made a plan to get to where (Y/N) was performing and get on his knee to pop that one particular question he’s been waiting to ask her. He landed there a couple days before (Y/N) was set to perform. He presented his plan to his crew and they immediately were on board to help him. His social media crew helped give the allusion to the media that Joost was still in Europe. He had it all planned out carefully and it was all going smoothly. The only thing getting in his way was time. He had to wait a good couple of hours to sneak into her set.

Joost managed to get (Y/N)’s manager’s number and immediately called him. A couple rings pass by until he heard the sound of the other line getting picked up. “Hello?” he heard the voice of (Y/N)’s manager say.

“Hey, what’s up man, it’s Joost. Can I facetime you real quick?” Joost asked.

“Yeah man,” the manager said. They quickly switched to facetime to talk “face to face” (virtually).

“You will never guess where I am at,” Joost said in a jokingly manner. He turned the camera to a small flag of Brazil and giggled.

“Are you serious? That’s awesome, dude, welcome. Does (Y/N) know you’re here?” the manager asked. Joost turned his camera back on his face and shook his head, saying no.

“No, and we need to keep it that way because…” Joost picked up a small black box and opened it. It revealed beautiful gold ring with the most alluring diamond on top to show the camera.

The manager let out a happy laugh, “That’s fucking awesome, man. Are you going to ask her after her show?”

“No, I’m going to ask her during her show, on stage. And that’s why I called to ask you if you can sneak me on set and not tell her. I want this to be special to her,” Joost replied.

“100% we’ll let you on stage and hide you. (Y/N) is going to love every second of whatever you plan to do. Uh, yeah, alright i’ll alert everyone about the plan and let you know when she arrives at the stadium” the manager said. Joost gave him a quick thank you and goodbye before hanging up the call. He did a small fist pump and smiled. Now the only thing to do was wait.

Seconds gradually turned to minutes, at least that’s what Joost felt. The more he had to wait, the more he was desperate. It felt like the universe was doing that on purpose to test him. It was killing him. He couldn’t wait to see his lover. His beauty. His woman. His everything.

When the time finally hit, Joost practically dashed out his hotel room and jogged towards the elevator. Him and his crew he took got taxis and they were finally on their way to the stadium. The drive was filled with laughter, smiles, and conversations. Joost knew how to light up a room, so him preparing to do one of the best things ever made everything 10 times better. Even the driver was joining in on the good time.

Joost finally made it to the stadium. His heart realized what was about to happen and started beating faster. There was a lot of fans and reporters there that he had to ignore. Joost always loved to talk to his fans but, at that very moment he couldn’t blow his cover. He needed this to be a surprise.

The backstage crew immediately went into action when Joost stepped foot in the stadium backstage. They did everything in their power to hide Joost and distract (Y/N). Joost would watch his girl from a far and fall in love even more. Her beauty always made him fall to his knees.

It was finally time for (Y/N) to perform. She went on stage with her backup dancers and got into position. They covered (Y/N)’s frame with giant white feathers, like if she was an elegant swan. She was able to hear her adoring fans and got butterflies in her stomach. She heard her fans already cheering even though they couldn’t see anything on stage due to it being pitch black. She loved every moment of it all. It was finally time to wrap this all up.

She heard the introduction music and narrator speak. She turned to her back up dancers and smiled, “You guys ready?” she asked. They all nodded and asked if she was ready, not knowing that question had a double meaning. She said yes with a big smile on her face.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present the one and only, the elegant, the heart stealer. Everyone here, please welcome, (Y/N)!”

The dancers pulled back the feathers, revealing (Y/N) and everyone cheered. She was finally performing. Meanwhile, Joost was backstage watching the beautiful performance. He got the little box ready and was preparing himself. He watched as (Y/N) sang, danced, performed with her life. He always loved that about her, she always knew how to put up a performance.

Joost saw the fans go wild and it was just the very first song. They all sang along like it was karaoke and dances to the beats. He watched his favorite girl with heart eyes and before he knew it, the song was about to come to an end. It was finally time to do what he always wanted to do. He told the crew to signal the DJ to prepare to lower the music.

As (Y/N) was about to finish her song, the music lowered and cut off all together. She thought it was a mistake so she improvised and continued singing the song. She didn’t want to disappoint her fans. That was until she heard her fans scream even louder. She got confused and was wondering why everyone was going crazy until she saw some fans in the crowd point behind her.

(Y/N) turned around and saw her man, on one knee with a box containing a beautiful gold ring with a gorgeous diamond showing. (Y/N) couldn’t believe her eyes. She covered her mouth in shock and started tearing up. It took her a couple of seconds before she said yes. She watched as Joost put the ring on her finger with a huge smile on his face. Joost got up and hug her tight.

In that moment, it’s like everything and everyone disappeared. All that mattered was Joost and his lover. “I can’t believe you did all of that, and for me?!” she said to him.

“Of course I did it all for you, my love. You’re the only woman I love and you are my everything,” he replied. Joost gave (Y/N) a kiss on her lips and pulled away to look at her, “I'm going to stay on stage with you and watch because you look like a goddess when you’re performing.”

Joost took the microphone from (Y/N) and turned to the audience, “Brasil! Prepare for this woman to have a new last name! (Y/N) Klein!” The audience erupted in massive roar-like cheers. The soon-to-be newlyweds gave each other one last kiss before a new song played, signaling (Y/N) to continue the show.

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

Hey peoples i hope you liked this im so in love with this man </3 i like writing to muscian readers cuz then I can add what artist I wanna be like (ariana grande, kali uchis, lana del rey, etc etc)

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

Sorrow and struggle in the Amazon: Tuíre Kayapó, the Indigenous Brazilian woman who postponed the end of the world, dies

Every time the state tried to silence Indigenous peoples in Brazil, the late Tuíre raised her voice

Tuíre Kayapó, one of the most important Indigenous leaders in Brazil, died on Saturday (10) at a hospital in the town of Redenção, in the state of Pará. She was 57 and battled uterine cancer. Her death ended an outstanding story of defending the rights of Indigenous and Amazonian peoples. From the disputes about the Belo Monte Hydroelectric Plant up to the legal argument known as “marco temporal” (usually translated into English as "Time Frame Law"), Tuíre has always taken a stance about government attacks against forest peoples.

Tuíre raised international attention in 1989. That year, the city of Altamira, Pará, was home to the First Meeting of Xingu Indigenous Peoples. The event, which gathered 600 Indigenous individuals all painted for war, aimed at discussing the Kararaô Hydroelectric Plant, later renamed Belo Monte Hydroelectric Plant.

At a certain point, the then 19-year-old Tuíre put her machete on the face of the president of the Eletronorte company, José Antônio Muniz Lopes. According to her recollections of the episode in an interview with the Socio-environmental Institute (ISA, in Portuguese), Tuíre said to the man: “White man, you have no forest. This land isn’t yours. You were born in the city and came here to attack our forests and rivers. You won’t do this.”

The photograph of her action became known worldwide and drew the attention of authorities, activists and international artists, postponing the construction of the power plant for 20 years. After finished, Belo Monte was dubbed “the end of the world” among people in Volta Grande do Xingu. Tuíre was, in Aílton Krenak’s words, the woman who postponed the end of the world.

Continue reading.

[reasonsforhope]

"In a bid to slow deforestation in the Amazon, Brazil announced Tuesday [September 5, 2023,] that it will provide financial support to municipalities that have reduced deforestation rates the most.

During the country´s Amazon Day, President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva also signed the creation of two Indigenous territories that total 207,000 hectares (511,000 acres) — over two times the size of New York City — and of a network of conservation areas next to the Yanonami Indigenous Territory to act as a buffer against invaders, mostly illegal gold miners.

“The Amazon is in a hurry to survive the devastation caused by those few people who refuse to see the future, who in a few years cut down, burned, and polluted what nature took millennia to create,” Lula said during a ceremony in Brasilia. “The Amazon is in a hurry to continue doing what it has always done, to be essential for life on Earth.”

The new program will invest up to $120 million in technical assistance. The money will be allocated based on the municipality´s performance in reducing deforestation and fires, as measured by official satellite monitoring. A list of municipalities eligible for the funds will be published annually.

The resources must be invested in land titling, monitoring and control of deforestation and fires, and sustainable production.

The money will come from the Amazon Fund, which has received more than $1.2 billion, mostly from Norway, to help pay for sustainable development of the region. In February, the United States committed to a $50 million donation to the initiative. Two months later, President Joe Biden announced he would ask Congress for an additional $500 million, to be disbursed over five years.

The most critical municipalities are located along the arc of deforestation, a vast region along the southern part of the Amazon. This region is a stronghold of former far-right President Jair Bolsonaro, who favored agribusiness over forest preservation and lost the reelection last year.

“We believe that it’s not enough to just put up a sign saying ‘it’s forbidden to do this or that. We need to be persuasive.” Lula said, in a reference to his relationship with Amazon mayors and state governors.

Lula has promised zero net deforestation by 2030, although his term ends two years earlier. In the first seven months of his third term, there was a 42% drop in deforestation.

[Note: For context, Lula's third term as president started January 1, 2023. It was not continuous with his first two terms, when he was president from 2003 to 2010. Lula's third term has been a historic and desperately needed reversal of the anti-environmental, etc. policies of Bolsonaro, whose term ended at the end of 2022.]

Brazil is the world’s fifth-largest emitter of greenhouse gases, with almost 3% of global emissions, according to Climate Watch, an online platform managed by World Resources Institute. Almost half of these emissions come from deforestation. Under the 2015 Paris Agreement, Brazil committed to reducing carbon emissions by 37% by 2025 and 43% by 2030."

-via AP, September 5, 2023

[jvnluvr]

blue lock boys when you surprise them ! pt 1. ♡

ft. sae & kaiser x f!reader

(neo-egoist arc spoilers!! be warned)

author’s note: my last blue lock post got a lot of love and it made me more motivated, so thank you everyone! might do a part too where the roles are swapped, or with more characters. lmk by asking if you have any other requests. enjoy more bllk content, my lovely readers. <3

itoshi sae:

sae is gone a lot. you knew from the moment you got into a relationship with him that this would be the reality of your relationship. you loved him though, so even if you missed him tremendously, he would always come back home into your arms. there wasn’t much more you could ask for.

sae had gone to brazil for three games. it was a week stay, but it felt so insufferably long. maybe 3-4 days in, you were sick of being home after work not having anyone to go to or not having anything to do. so what did you do? obviously book a ticket to brazil yourself! to avoid suspicion, you told sae that you might not respond to his texts because you were going out with your friends and end up staying over at their place. (all your friends were busy that week.) but he didn’t catch anything!

you fell asleep on the flight, waking up to your landing. your heart was racing as you walked off into the airport. you’ve never really done something this grand before. surprising your boyfriend right before his game? god, you never expected to even set foot in another country for a while. all you could do was quickly rush to get a taxi, (you learned basic portuguese for this) and off you were to the stadium where his last game was being hosted.

quickly playing the driving, you ran inside. even if shidou was annoying, you thanked him for not revealing your plan to sae and helping you enter the stadium freely. “your boyfriend is a lucky one, yeah?” you could only nod in nervousness. why were you scared to see him? what if he just told you to go back home, what if he didn’t want any distractions, what if-? “c’mon he’s about to get on field, go!” shidou pushed you near the place his team was getting ready.

“hey [name]! sae didn’t tell us you were gonna’ be here.” one of his teammates grinned at you. you saw sae slowly turn around when he heard your name, an annoyed look plastered on his faces, thinking his teammates were tricking him for a stupid laugh. that was until he actually saw you, that his eyes widened.

“uh,, surprise sae?” he kind of just stood there for a second, not even being able to process the fact that you were physically standing in front of him. you only were able to feel dejected for a mere second, assuming he wasn’t happy to see you, that was until you were suddenly enveloped into a warm hug. and for a second, it felt as if you were the only two in the blazing stadium. “stupid, why are you here?” he whispered in your ear, not letting you go. despite his chosen words, his voice was filled with nothing but softness.

“cause i missed you, sae. you’re always gone, and even if i was prepared, it hurts not being with you.” you replied back. god no, you weren’t going to cry right before he went on the field. “don’t cry princess, i’m right here.” you were trying so hard to hold it in, but you couldn’t help it, he was with you, after what felt like an eternity. “thank you for surprising me, you’re the best thing i could ask for.” he kissed your forehead, still whispering so his teammates couldn’t hear the sweet nothings he reserved for you.

michael kaiser:

the ace of bastard münchen loved you very dearly. kaiser loved selectively, but the moment he laid eyes on you, he was smitten. truly, he tried to make as much time as humanly possible to spend with you but when blue lock joined the top teams, his brain had been haywire because of isagi. all he could think of was how to improve, how to crush him.

so naturally; with his brain occupied and all, he gradually started spending more and more time away from home to practice. sure, he still texted you sometimes and all, but you felt more lonely before than ever, since you were so used to kaiser being there to smother you in his love and adoration.

so when today finally came, the day where they would go up against barcha fc, it was him to finally prove he was a better player than isagi. he left super early that morning. he didn’t expect you to even try and leave the house because you studied from home, and he was going to be gone practically the whole day. to be honest, you really did want to go and surprise him at the game, but you couldn’t afford to skip class today. so you had to come up with something else grand to surprise kaiser.

so you went out after class, an hour before he was supposed to come home. you bought heart-shaped balloons, confetti, a cake, and any other decorations that you could drape onto the walls in your shared house. just before you were about to go back, you got a *ping!* from your phone.

ml michael: baby we won!!!! i’ll be home in a bit <3

you: congrats ! i’m waiting <3

you knew after that you had to rush home and get ready. gratefully your house wasn’t too far from the store. so you quickly unloaded everything from your car and put everything up in the living room, near the entrance of your house. “i hope he likes it, and isn’t too tired to just ignore everything..” you let out a slight sigh before continuing to finish up putting up the decorations.

you heard a loud engine outside and you would have been surprised if it was anyone besides kaiser. you quickly ran to shut off the lights before hiding behind the couch that faced the wall. the sound of the keys jingling as the door opened made your heart race as you held your hand over your mouth, not wanting him to even hear your breathing. “my dearest love, i’m home- huh? why are the lights off?” you couldn’t help but internally giggle at his insanely slow reaction time.

“[name], are we playing hide and seek or something? you know i’ll find you.” at that, you unintentionally rolled your eyes at his confidence. there’s no way he would expect you to be behind this couch, not to mention he hasn’t even turned the lights on- “found you.” you yelped as kaiser picked you up from behind, sitting you on his lap on the side of the couch.

“now, does my pretty girl wanna tell me why she was hiding behind the couch?” he kissed your cheek, and he swore he could see them turn red in the darkness. your entire plan? ruined. this really wasn’t the way you wanted to surprise him. “just wanted to surprise you, y‘know? you didn’t even turn on the lights silly.” kaiser gave you a confused look but nonetheless got up to turn them on. “surprise! and of course good job on winning your game today.” you smiled at him, but he just stared at you with the biggest heart in his eyes.

“you’re the cutest thing ever.” he lifted you up again and you wrapped your legs around him. “there’s a cake too, we should eat it.” you mentioned, totally forgetting that you set it out on the table. “i love you, liebe.” he couldn’t stop kissing you after that surprise.

[sirenlulls]

get him back! → theburntchip

pairing , theburntchip x youtuber!reader

summary , where, in lieu of yours and chip’s reconnection, fans find out how it happened, and just why you ended things in the first place.

part one (bad idea, right?)

oh, i wanna get him back! 'cause then again, i really miss him, and it makes me real sad

🔴 Y/n L/n Talks On Breakup, Reconnection, The Launch Of Her Brand, & More! FULL POD EP.77 -Saving Grace

join premiere!

LIVE CHAT !

user: stop i’m actually gonna cry ☹️☹️☹️

user: I KNEW THOSE TWITTER B WORDS WERE WRONG I KNEW THEY DIDNT END BADLY

user: that’s so lala land of them

user: “if i ever complained, i’d be the nagging girlfriend” NO BABY 😭😭😭😭

user: never thought i’d say it but i’m glad they broke up bcs if they hadn’t done it then, it would’ve been MESSY messy

user: off topic but can we please talk about how pretty she is :(

user: “if he ever complained about you, i would’ve given him a belting” YES GRACE 👏👏👏

user: WHY DIDNT WE GET Y/N ON HERE SOONER OMGGGGGG I LOVE THIS DUO SM

user: Sending love from Brazil! XX 🇧🇷🇧🇷❤️❤️

user: stop that’s so sad ☹️

user: she’s so real for the anxiety thing

LIVE CHAT !

user: i feel like i’m watching a tv show

user: “i don’t want to lose this again” and when i start sobbing????

user: ok but is the dick game good

user: HE SWIPED UP ON A COSTA TOASTIE ☠️

user: nah he’s down BAD me too but like 😭

user: he def would’ve thrown a temper tantrum if she didn’t respond

user: grace booing is so real i wanted a kissing in the rain screaming ‘i love you’ confession

user: her smile when she said she’s happy now man they’re literally my parents ☹️

user: Love you both X ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

user: the world is healing

user: NAH MAN SWEAR THATS CHIPS BOICE COMING IN NOW

LIVE CHAT !

user: i’m actually gonna cry i missed them sm ☹️😭

user: the camera switching to her looking at him with heart eyes after calling him a bellend is so funny GET HER ASS 👏

user: chip is the new an*rew t*te 🙏

user: oh how i missed him calling her lady and missus

user: he’s the leader of the sassy man epidemic oh lord

user: OMG I FORGOT WHEN SHE YSED TO GO ON COFFEE DATES WITH HIS MUM

user: leave my girl and her spotify playlists alone

user: this has literally made my year

user: just in time for y/n’s fall vids

[tagged: savinggracepod , gkbarry_ , theburntchip]

❤️ liked by georgeclarkeey, georgebxggs, and 98,992 others

yourusername mum! mum! i made it! i’m on saving grace!!!!!! (and i figured i deserved at least one pic of chip from the launch x)

user that episode was the funniest thing ever i can’t even i nearly pissed myself when grace pretended to spank u with the paddle 😭😭😭

user mother ur so gorg i’m speechless

user you know the content is gonna slap when y/n l/n is there

user im so obsessed with u pls

user CAL AND CHIP AT THE FUNCTION SIR 👏🙇‍♀️

user best video in youtube history methinks

gkbarry_ loved having you on babe, even if the boss man gatecrashed 🫶❤️

yourusername he doesn’t like feeling left out smh

theburntchip oh alright then

max_balegde ICONIC!!!!!!

user MY ROMAN EMPIRE

user i hope you know that twt is in flames rn

user i gen teared up a bit when you talked about the breakup 🥹

user icons only

[tagged: ynapparel , nellarose , theburntchip]

❤️ liked by landonorris, behzinga and 97,872 others

yourusername self representing by wearing @ ynapparel the past (and every) week 😩🤭 featuring the love of my life & chip ig…

theburntchip wow alright

theburntchip i thought you were a g 😔

yourusername oops sorry babe

theburntchip we’re over smh

yourusername oh no… what a shame ☹️ anyway… hot girl winter!!!!!!

theburntchip the fits are fire though 😮‍💨

yourusername as always x

user EATING SLAYING DEVOURING

user OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

user forever obsessed with u

user graduated from cuntingtion university with an phd in slaying

nellarose love you bae x

calfreezy chip looking dashing as per usual

theburntchip aye thank you brotha

nellarose AYYYY LOOKING SEXY 🔥🔥🔥🔥

yourusername ALL YOU BABY 💋💋💋

ynapparel looking good and dressed to kill 😉😇🩷

user face card NEVER declines

lissiemackintosh this barbie is my mother

user ur so real lissie

faithlouisak doll 🤩

alice_hez 😍🔥🖤

user WHATS THE SQUARE ROOT OF 64?????

user angel girl 🤍

centralcee 😮‍💨🔥🔥🔥🔥

user NAHHH HES BRAVE COMMENTING ON THE POST W HER BOYFRIEND

user CENCH GET OUTTA HERE MAN

user SIRENSIRENSIREN Y/N BABY RUN!!!!!

user OH??????

user wait am i missing smth why are we freaking out

user @ user cench has always been lowk flirting with y/n, like she interviewed him at some event last yr and he was being so flirty and obviously she was giving him blank wall back BUT when her and chip broke up he got even WORSE like man was always in her comments tryna chat her up and she entertained it a lil but now the bitch is back and he’s bold

user NAH MAN GTFO WE JUST GOT CHIP BACK IN THE PICTURE WE CANT HAVE U RUINING THAT

theburntchip just posted to their story

[sccpmccabe]

ᅟᅟᅟ tolerate it | alessia russo x brazilian!reader, duda sampaio x brazilian!reader

Summary: Everyone goes through bad times in life, but some attitudes can end in mistakes and sometimes there is no way back.

[AN: I'm working on some requests but I couldn't stop thinking about this plot, so here it is! This will be a mini series with two other chapters, hope you like it <3]

ᅟ The last few months have been hell for Alessia. The first blow was the crisis that their secret relationship was facing.

ᅟ During the World Cup you, the English striker's girlfriend, were feeling very overwhelmed, after all, that would be the first time that you would play in that tournament for your national team. As if that wasn't already a huge weight on her shoulders, every day her coach made a point of repeating the same words to the team.

ᅟ “Are you really going to allow the queen of football to retire without a world title with the national team? I don't care if you're young, old or what, you need to give everything for her. Marta deserves this and I will not allow you to ruin this experience for her.”

ᅟ Pia Sundhage was an admirable and successful woman, but she definitely crossed some limits and the most serious thing was almost completely taking away the identity of the Brazilian team. It wasn't news to anyone that Brazil was known for its beautiful, passionate style of play, full of tricks and skills, but since the woman arrived as coach shortly after being eliminated in the 2019 World Cup, things have changed drastically.

ᅟ Despite being a young player, you already had your fair share of experiences at an international level as you left the club that formed you very young and followed Geyse, your colleague and best friend, out of Brazil. A few years passed and while the other girl shone in Spanish lands playing for Barcelona, you enjoyed the contrasting experience of living in London and playing for the red team in the north of the city.

ᅟ It was during one of Arsenal's games against United that you met Alessia and it's safe to say that from the first moment you found yourself in love with the girl with blue eyes and blonde hair. To your surprise, she also ended up really liking you and at the end of that match you exchanged t-shirts and a small note came with hers and contained your phone number and an invitation to dinner.

ᅟ The rest was history, and a story worthy of romance books, by the way, but little by little the whole situation began to fall apart and you seemed to be the only one interested in putting together and pasting all the pieces of your love. While you fought for her, Alessia didn't even recognize any gesture and just worried about her own life and career. She kept it a secret and made a point of hiding it in a trunk under lock and key. Not even your family and closest friends knew that you were a couple and that hurt, a lot.

ᅟ You begged the blonde for help not once, much less twice or three times but she just ignored your messages and calls with the excuse of being too busy preparing for the competition, which wasn't completely a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. While all this was happening and your condition was only getting worse, your teammates noticed how miserable you looked, but they couldn't understand why. It was only when Luana ran after you after a training session that they began to understand what you were going through and despite the help that the midfielder and all the other girls provided you, you never managed to fully recover as a huge part of your problems was your secret relationship.

ᅟ The trigger came at the final whistle in the game against Jamaica, making his biggest fear come true. Brazil was out of the World Cup in the group stage and your heart, which already had some cracks in it, broke in half once and for all. Your eyes roamed the stands hoping to find Alessia somewhere since she had promised she would be there for you, but your search for her was in vain. Without even realizing how it happened, you found yourself kneeling on the field with your face in the grass in front of Marta's boots, who was trying to comfort you while you cried profusely. All the cameras were on you and the Queen of football, knowing how sad and meaningful that image was.

ᅟ Tears were still flowing from your eyes like a waterfall when you felt a weight on your back and two strong arms pressed against your fragile body. All the other players, both Brazilian and Jamaican, gathered around you forming a large circle and sympathizing with the difficult time you were going through. It took some time, but you finally recovered enough to lift your head off the ground and face the older woman in front of you who was looking at you with teary eyes and you were about to break down again when Duda's low voice reached your ears and you body turned to face the girl who held you in her arms so carefully.

ᅟ Just like you, Duda was also part of the new generation of players, she currently played for the best team in the country, the same one that had revealed you to the world a few years ago. You had many things in common, but for some reason she seemed to avoid your presence, always choosing not to stay by your side for long and looking away from your direction. At first you thought she didn't like you, but Luana and some other colleagues assured you that it was just her shyness speaking louder, however, despite all that, she was the one by your side at that moment, looking at you with so much affection that your breath caught for a few moments. The brunette offered you a welcoming smile before extending her hand for you to hold and get up, but noticed how your legs shook when trying to do so and decided to take the action of picking you up and carrying you to the changing room.

ᅟ The more time passed, the harder it was to face reality. Little by little, the devastating sadness gave way to anger, and from anger, to revolt. The local atmosphere was hostile and heavy, each player was dealing with it in a different way, but they all had some thoughts in common, you could have done more, you should have done more. Even in the midst of that chaos, all the players' phones were exploding with messages and calls from family, friends and even players from other national teams who showed solidarity in that difficult time. Despite that, it took almost an entire day for Alessia to contact you and when she did, God, it was disastrous.

ᅟ It took some time, but you managed to convince the blonde to meet you in person in the hotel room where your team was staying.

ᅟ "What do you want from me? I have more important things to do than talk to you.” She said as soon as she reached her room, taking off the hood and glasses she wore as a disguise. Her words affected you more than you wanted to admit and after closing the door and making sure no one had seen the blonde enter your room, you walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. At that moment it became clear that you should get straight to the point with her, knowing that trying to stall would only make things worse.

ᅟ “Good night to you too, Alessia.” Your voice carried a certain irony and the coldness with which you treated her was unusual. “Since you are a very busy woman, I will get straight to the point. I can no longer stand the way you are treating me and I can't maintain our relationship if you continue like this. I know you're avoiding me and I can't understand why. We’ve always been open with each other and you’ve just signed for Arsenal, which I think should only improve our relationship, but you’re more distant than ever.”

ᅟ The striker seemed surprised by your words since you never liked conflicts or more serious conversations like this, and, despite knowing that you were right, she couldn't help but mock you, maintaining an air of superiority while crossing her arms over the chest.

ᅟ “How many times do I have to tell you that I need to focus on my career and the World Cup, hmm? I thought that by this point in the championship this would have become very clear.” You even tried to interrupt her to better explain your point of view, but she didn't even give a chance. “No, you already had your turn to speak, now it’s mine. And, what do you know, you're right, I really am avoiding you because I can't deal with your neediness anymore. Lately you've been so unbearable that I don't even feel like having a conversation with you. I’m a world-class striker, I don’t have time to deal with your bullshit and your problems.” God, how her words hurt. It was hard to believe that the girl in front of you who was putting on such a narcissistic show was the same one you had fallen in love with and loved madly.

ᅟ “Oh, now I understand. So what you want to tell me is that I have to be emotionally available to you in your worst moments just like I was when the United fans turned on you but you can't return the favor because you are a world class striker?” The temperature of that conversation was increasing quickly, as was your voice, which certainly caught the attention of your friends in the next rooms. “How selfish you are, Alessia. I can't believe you mean all this, what happened to you? When did you become so stupid and snobbish? Did winning the Euros get to your head that much? Because a fucking title doesn’t give you the right to treat me like I’m nothing or nobody.”

ᅟ “If by being a snob you mean I'm a realist, then yes, I'm a complete snob. Don't you notice the difference between us? I was instrumental in winning the Euros while you weren't even able to help your team get past the group stage of the World Cup. And don’t be fooled into thinking that I signed for Arsenal because of you and our relationship, I did it because it was best for my career and because your team needs a real player like me.” The tone of voice Alessia used was completely humiliating and the cruelty of her words was so much that it left you speechless. Your girlfriend knew how insecure you were feeling about this tournament and in addition to not helping you with that, she made sure to destroy you once and for all. The woman you loved did this to you, and you couldn't believe it.

ᅟ The expression on your face was one of pure pain and betrayal, your throat was dry and you didn't even know what to say while the blonde was still in front of you watching you with that air of superiority, but when you got up from the bed she was scared. Your body language screamed wrath and your eyes shone from the tears you refused to let go. It was at that moment that Alessia realized everything she had done to you and how much her attitude affected you. She felt like she had been punched in the stomach and the worst person in the world, but now it was too late.

ᅟ "We are over." Your sentence was said indifferently, as if you and the striker didn't have a history. “Get out of here. I don't want to see you ever again” It was obvious that you were containing your emotions, and, in order not to have to deal with them, you walked to the door of your room, coming face to face with Lelê, Geyse, Duda and Luana in the hallway. They had heard everything and were about to invade the room. You looked at them with panic, not knowing how much they had heard, but Alessia was still standing in the middle of the room, shocked by her own actions. “I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.” Your scream was powerful and disturbing like a thunderclap and broke the British woman out of the trance she was in.

ᅟ She had never seen you like that. At the same time that you looked so fragile her body was filled with anger and she knew it was better to do what you said. She left the room slowly, startled by the presence of her teammates who were already there and noticing the arrival of others. Despite this, she had the audacity to try to approach you and say something, but Letícia, Luana and Geyse took a step forward while Duda pulled you away from it. The attacker seemed to want to insist on that, but the goalkeeper blocked her path. Letícia and Alessia were the same height, but the brunette's physical condition made her more threatening and firm like a brick wall. Fortunately her presence was enough for the lioness to give up on her plan and leave in a hurry, like a coward.

ᅟ Only when her silhouette disappeared behind the elevator doors did you allow yourself to give in, running back to the bedroom and, later, to the bathroom, where you barely had time to lift the toilet lid before throwing up. A few seconds later you smelled Duda's perfume around you and her hand on your back, trying to comfort you just like she had done a few days ago. You had no idea what her level of English was and how much she had heard and understood of the conversation, but regardless, she was there, by your side, again.

ᅟ You could hear Luana's voice, imagining that she must be explaining the whole situation to the other girls who arrived after the commotion in the hallway and as you thought about how horrible that situation was, you realized that in a short time you and your ex-girlfriend would play together on the same team. Suddenly the nausea was back and you felt everything spinning around you. Little by little you got better and finally came out of the bathroom, seeing all your teammates crammed into the room and ready to welcome you into their arms.

ᅟ It took a few hours and a lot of explanation on your part, but eventually everyone understood the situation and shared the same anger as you. They were all worried about what would happen in the future since you two are Arsenal players and would see each other every day in a matter of a few weeks, and that worried you too, but it was after a few minutes in silence that Tamires made a suggestion that made your eyes shine.

ᅟ Soon you, the blonde and Duda were in front of the door of Cris Gambaré's room, the director of women's football at Corinthians who was helping the Brazilian coaching staff. When she finally answered, the three of you smiled slightly and the woman took a deep breath, knowing that she had a problem to solve.

BREAKING NEWS: Arsenal midfield star Y/F/N will go on loan to Corinthians, the club that revealed her to the world. The team was surprised by the request, but accepted after some insistence from the player. She must leave for Brazil immediately and will return to Arsenal as soon as the South American season comes to an end in December.

[featguler]

Heyyyy could you do anything for Rodrygo?

all we've been talkin' about────── the millionth morning after with rodrygo.

♡ ────── pairing : rodrygo goes x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader's gender, ethnicity, nationality, and appearance is not specified. reader lives in brazil and has known rodrygo for a while. situationship!rodrygo goes LOL sorry... it also gets a bit heated towards the end. ♡ ────── wordcount : 809 ♡ ────── notes : "could you do anything for rodrygo?" YES. absolutely YES. thank you so much for rqing! i tried looking for one-shots for him for reference and found none!? crazy. i love him sm. i hope you enjoy this anon mwah. this is lightly based on better by khalid and 'tis the damn season by taylor swift, but as always, just in general nothing too specific ♡ masterlist.

Every once in a while, Rodrygo goes back home to Brazil.

He seems like he has found a new home in Spain—he has shinier friends there, a shinier career. You see him through the screens of your television when you have the time; you’ve got a life here in Brazil too, after all, though not as polished as his, 10 hours away.

It seems like you two live through completely separate lives—you are never quite as interested as he is in the fame, and the glory, and the spotlight. When you don’t step out of your comfort zone, everything feels so easy and freeing.

You do miss him, though. Sometimes. You try not to wonder if he misses you too.

“You were awake?”

The grogginess in your voice pulls a smile from his lips, and he leans in to place a kiss on your bare shoulder. You awaken to his hot breath against your face, his face shadowed by the sunlight from your window.

“For a good while, yeah.”

“You waited long?”

You don’t like telling your friends that you have Rodrygo Goes wrapped around your fingers every time his feet land upon your city; when your family asks, you tend to avoid the question too by mentioning another one of his stark performances.

“Not long enough,” he chuckles, leaning back to his original position, his hand rubbing the spot where his lips had sloppily left a peck, slithering down your body to intertwine your fingers together.

You furrow your eyebrows, mind still fuzzy from your rest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he laughs this time, throwing his head back.

Your mother insists always that you start dating the winger—it’s safe money, she had mentioned, and she was right. Dating Rodrygo would offer a safe life, marrying him would guarantee it.

But at 23 years old, he doesn’t look like he will settle down anytime soon. You? Well, you think that despite the little bubble you are living in, life goes beyond marrying for financial security.

Life is what you make of it, after all. And letting your friend kiss you in places friends should not see is what you make of it.

It’s what gives you the thrill—that sense of self-pity you have for yourself whenever he would leave and be rumoured with yet another different person; the pride and arrogance whenever he strides back into your arms.

You watch his eyes and the gentle curve of his lips, that you lean up to peck after a few seconds.

In response, he leans to kiss you. And then again. And again. And again. His hand reaches to the small of your back, pulling you closer, pressing your body against each other.

“Damn,” he pulls away just as the heat rises, his thumb tracing imaginary shapes on your skin. “Goddamn.”

You laugh. “Thank you, thank you.”

He joins in, trying to pull you in even closer to him.

“Hey.”

He says your name, somehow even sweeter than anyone else has.

“Yeah?” You snuggle down to his arm, pressing your cheek against his chest.

“I wonder at what point would it be okay for me to say ‘I love you’.”

He looks down at you, and for a moment, a strange silence seeps among you two. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, looking off for a moment, to the door leading to your bathroom, before looking back at you. “But I feel like I love you.”

You blink up—a part of you feels like you should have given a more avid response to his strange question, but the flow of the conversation is so natural that you being just you seens like the right move.

“I don’t want a relationship.”

At your answer, Rodrygo laughs. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.

“I’m not asking for a relationship,” he shakes his head, still chuckling. “I’m just saying, I love you.”

“Yeah?” You giggle alongside him. “My charm even wards off all those shiny people you met in Madrid?”

“Oh baby,” he sighs, tracing his hand on the back of your neck. “Madrid has got nothing on you, no one there got a thing.”

You roll your eyes, shifting to find a more comfortable position. “Big words, Rodrygo. And you expect me to believe that?”

Rodrygo hums for a moment. “Maybe not. Just that I love you.”

“Stop saying that,” you whine.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he raises an eyebrow, as though defending himself.

“I’m not gonna.” You raise a hand to the base of his neck and pull him closer, close enough for your lips to reach his.

Through the kiss, you feel his lips curving into a smile.

Spain or Brazil, through fame and glory, something inside of you supposes that he misses you too sometimes.

[sgiandubh]

C might mean well, but I find businesses using charity to sell suspicious.

Dear Provocative Anon,

What you say deserves an audio (there have been two of them two weeks ago, compensating for last week's silence). I have many things to tell you and please excuse the delay:

They really can't win, with people like you, can they? And that goes for both C and S, mind you. No matter what they do and try to promote as a side project, there is always going to be someone unhappy and vocal about it. When it's not you complaining 'business using charity to sell' is 'suspicious', there's the other fuckwit asking recently why S hasn't given all MPC's profit to charity, as Paul Newman did with Newman's Own.

So, I will be brutally honest with you, Anon. I have thoughts and questions about your own point of view and this is partially why it took me so long to answer you. It would seem you are not familiar at all with what is called 'corporate social responsibility' (CSR), since at least the Sixties. Which means, in a nutshell, companies who choose to focus part of their activity and dedicate part of their profits to charitable projects. It is done with various degrees of ethics, success and bona fides all around the world, and it is often used as a strong marketing and sales argument.

Think about these people, whose brand is probably immediately recognizable wherever you go, spare perhaps Pyongyang:

I just picked this Coca Cola Foundation recent CSR project in Brazil totally randomly, using Google. Some might think it's just another cynical diversion: one of the world's biggest corporate profiteers, happily contributing to the current obesity pandemic (including in Latin America), suddenly showing one of its biggest markets they do have a conscience, after all, and a social one to boot. And addressing, at the same time, one of the continent's post-colonial bleeding wounds, which is to say, the organic imbalance between rich and poor, as far as access to means of production, land ownership and use and sales opportunities go. 480 farmers benefitting from Coca Cola's magnanimity is probably but a tiny drop of hope in an ocean of dour social injustice, but the truth is, Anon, if nobody does anything good, then nothing good will happen at all. It is as simple as that, and while their modus operandi is probably not exactly my cup of tea, you will have to admit it works, at least to some extent and for some people. Plus it greatly enhances the company's do-good, sensible and reliable global image, because of course, what happens right now in the state of Minas Gerais is but a tiny part of a bigger strategy.

Might I add that even those robber barons, à la Cornelius Vanderbilt or Jay Gould, who made their ruthless fortunes building the railroads of a still very young United States of America, ended up giving a very small part of their same fortune to various charities. It wasn't nearly enough what we would consider as 'reasonable', in 2024, but it did start a philanthropic trend, that took considerable speed after the 1919 Boston Molasses Disaster. The Sixties have just added more pragmatism and gave a name to what was, at its very start, quite an opportunistic endeavor.

Even so, Vanderbilt and Gould themselves did not invent anything, really. One should look to good old Europe to find what is probably the first big CSR project in human history, still going strong since 1521. May I introduce you to the Augsburg Fuggerei:

[for even more pious charity: https://www.fugger.de/en/fuggerei]

Renting one of those wonderful Hansel and Gretel houses for less than one euro/year, plus three daily Hail Mary is something to behold, right? Jakob Fugger the Young, the guy who had this brilliant idea (which, might I add, is still run and operated by the Fugger banker family, even nowadays) was literally a ruthless kingmaker, a colonial trade and exploration pioneer, but also a religious bigot who flatly refused to extend his charity to Protestant families. Still, his pious dream goes on - the Fugger Family Foundation even actively plans its next 500 years. This is Germany, after all 😉.

Those people’s money stinks more of corruption and crime than S or C’s ever could, Anon. Still, they are remembered as benefactors, by many. History is seldom cruel to those who are willing to pay for their posterity.

But you know what, Anon? Compared to the Fuggers and the Vanderbilts and the Goulds, S and C are really small fish in an even smaller, fickler pond. I think they are doing it out of their good heart and I think they are honestly, genuinely responsive to the idea of giving a chance to young, struggling artists. But, in the process, are they also trying to market themselves as more approachable and less controversial, considering the (oh, I shall never tire to repeat this, with gusto) cosmic amount of bullshit plaguing their respective public images? My somewhat cynical answer is also yes, Anon. To which may I immediately add that it's not even important: all that counts are the tangible results of whatever good things they do with their booze and/or fitness profits.

Results and helping trigger a change in one's life is all that really interests me, Anon. It seems to bother you, though, so I will cheekily end this long rant with a couple of questions: do you have a problem with poverty? do you believe in giving people a (second) chance, or do you think only the rich are worth considering and valuable?

If so, I honestly pity you, girl. For the real indigent in all this might be you.

[umadosedepascal]

72 HOURS WITH HIM | Pedro Pascal x f!reader| PART IV

Written by Santa trindade

Banner by @ithedevilsbaby

Made in Brazil

Pairing : Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: The shooting in Malta keeps going, all Pedro needs is a weekend off, well…he got it. Would you go meet him for only three days? Hmmm yes!

warning/rating: [first person][unprotected piv] [SMUT] [one bite] [Pedro dominates][overstimulation][holding neck] [slaps][take off your clothes][oral m receiving/f receiving][spitting] [eating cum][champagne on body][dirty talk]

w/c: 5.6k

a/n: you guys know Pedro is a sweetheart, but for us, in bed.. he is kinda diff. It can have fluff moments here and there but what we want is to see how dominating he is…with you. HAPPY NEW YEAR! 💦

"How far would you go for a wonderful sex?"

I have asked myself this question over and over again since Pedro called me two days ago, almost begging me to go to another continent just to see him for three days.

How far would I go? Well, it's a funny question, even a little embarrassing, but here I am landing at Malta airport.

When Pedro asked if I would like to stay with him for a weekend in Malta I thought it was a joke, because until then I thought he was in another place, it is difficult to keep up with his routine, we talk almost every day texting, he calls me whenever he can, for him the end of the day is the beginning for me.

This time he looked different on the phone, his voice a little tired, but the excitement was present, a little more excited than usual...

"Hey babe, listen... I'm in Malta now, we managed to advance a few scenes, that was crazy, but... I will not shoot for next few days, then I thought you could come, who knows... Stay with me, just three days if you want..."

He knew my answer would be yes, and in less than thirty minutes an email with a ticket to Malta was there.

As soon as I leave the airport gate, I see a man holding a sign with my last name, he drives me to the hotel. The city is beautiful, but I can barely pay attention on the landscape that runs through the window, my thought are on the last message that Pedro sent me.

"I can't wait to have you here with me..."

Pedro asked me to be confidential, even though I'm a complete stranger, he doesn't need this kind of attention now, so we are staying in separate rooms, for all the rest I'm just a tourist.

The room he got for me is ridiculously huge, huge bed, huge bathtub in the background, with framing pillars, giving an almost Greek touch, I could feel Aphrodite herself here.

I unpack my suitcase and get a short and fresh dress, I go to the bathroom, ignoring the desire to get into the bathtub.

_Later, dear, later_

I enter the bathroom and look in the mirror, seeing my reflection, biting my lower lip I think

_He's worth this whole trip. It's only three days, he'll be away for months, and fuck, I miss him so much... _

After a relaxing shower I get dressed and when I pick up my phone to send him a message, someone knocks on the door.

“Yeah? Who is it?” I ask while a message him.

“Room service” the voice says behind the door.

I didn't ask for room service, maybe I forgot something at the lobby. I go towards the door and when I open it, there he is, standing at the door side smile, his hands behind his back.

Before saying anything, I just stare at him, the good old yellow Lakers t-shirt, blue shorts with green details, striped socks and NB’s. He is hot, skin slightly tanned, messy hair, everything in him was so perfect that I could stare at him for hours. Seeing him there in front of me out of nowhere made me let out an involuntary sigh, which made his smile open more and say, knowing the power he had over me.

“I couldn't wait to see you...”

I pull him into the room, he closes the door behind him and pushes me to the wall, getting my lips close to his I say:

“Thanks for the invite, too bad we can't hang out here together..” he puts his lips in my ear and says in a whisper:

“I know babe, but you know the drill...” I smile and answer

“Yeah, I know... But i'm stocked whit this room... Look at this hot tub, you crazy” without thinking Pedro slides his hand off his back and goes down my right thigh and says:

“Exactly like my room, but you know what? I had a picture of us fucking on that hot tub... That's why I brought you here” so I feel the burning of the slap where his hand caressed me.

I take his hand and lead him to the mini bar, and say that I was waiting for him to choose us a drink, he frowns looking at the options and looks at me.

“Sparkling wine?” I say.

He takes off the seal with his mouth and laughs when the cork flies up screaming “To the hot tub!”. Laughing together he serves us, we toast looking at each other, the desire is already on fire. He looks at me, glazed on me. All his movements seem to be planned to drive me crazy.

He serves the glasses again while telling me the experience has been, he tells in such an excited way that I don’t realize it I'm smiling just from hearing him speak. We drank one, two, three glasses, while we are sitting on the benches of the mini bar. He speaks and I just listen, I could stay all night listening to the sound of his voice telling about anything, right now I'm so hypnotized that I don't care about anything else.

“You are beautiful babe... Did you get ready for someone in particular?” he says in an ironic but sensual tone, while rubbing his cold hand from the wine glass under my dress, gently smoothing my thigh, his thumb drawing circles on my skin.

“I’m here to meet someone, some hot guy” I return the affection, putting my hand on his thigh, walking with my fingers and squeezing slowly. The touch is so soft, but it seems to be enough to light something inside it.

“I'm here exclusively for him.”

Pedro straightens his posture on the bench and lets out a slow sigh, staring at me, a look of desire that I recognize perfectly, he has looked at me like this so many times.

He gets up from the bench and holds out his hand, inviting me to get up too. He lays his hands on my waist and squeezes slightly, pulling me closer to him. At this moment I feel that he is already hard, his body is hot, and I can say that mine is the same . Every second he touches me, it's a second more than I want him, I want to have him inside me, fuck all I want now is him inside me.

“What a lucky guy, huh?” he speaks bringing his lips closer to my neck, the hot air of his breath, beard shaving my skin, it chills me all over, I close my eyes and throw my head slightly back, exposing my neck more as he drags his teeth through my neck, the feeling of his body touching mine intensifies, his mouth touching my skin slowly makes me release a low moan.

“You have no idea how many times I dream of you here” he says softly while I arch my back

“I imagined you in that hot tub “ he says as he raises his head pointing to the jacuzzi, his fingers now play with the straps of the dress on my shoulders, he lowers them letting them fall to the sides.

“I imagined you screaming my name while I make you cum... I imagined several times, I even dreamed about it”

My body is taken by an overwhelming, wild desire, it knows exactly how to drive me crazy, and at this moment I can only formulate a single phase in response.

“Well, I'm here exclusively for you...make your dreams come true” smiling at him I watch his look darken

“You shouldn't say things like that babe... I can be very demanding” he says and I feel his fingers walking through my arms, until our hands are intertwined. He looks at my breasts still covered by the dress, he looks up slowly, stopping at my lips and moving on to my eyes.

His look is pure fire, that brown sea seems to be burning, and I can't wait to get burned.

Pedro takes my hands and guides him to front of his shorts, even through the fabric I can feel how hard he is, as soon as my hands find his cock, he pushes his hip forward and moans low when I squeeze him.

“Are you feeling this? How did I miss those hands…”

His hands go up to my face, framing my face he passes his thumb through my lower lip, I bite and pass my tongue soon after, this makes him bite his own lip, growling softly.

He lowers his fingers to my neck, holding firmly, lowering his nails so slowly that it makes me breathe heavily, I close my eyes feeling his touch, when I feel his hands go down to my breasts I open my eyes and face those eyes that are my doom.

His hands rest on the sides of my breasts, his thumbs slide until I find my nipples goosebumps, even under the fabric of the dress they are still visible.

“I have an idea” he moves away and sits back on the bench, one arm on the bench holding a glass and the other hand he wraps the shoelace of the shorts around his fingers. He looks at me for long seconds, I stand still, my body obeys him in a way that I am not able to explain.

“Slowly take off the dress for me... “

I feel my blood boiling, my heartbeats rise to my ears, my body burns, looking for him, in need of him.

I hold the dress on my breasts and slowly lower it, feeling his eyes burn me, the fabric slips and gets tangled up on my waist, I look at him and he is drinking the champagne while squeezing his cock over his shorts, with up and down movements.

“Fuck, you are so fucking hot you know that? Take off your clothes “ I push the dress down and then it falls into a puddle at my feet, leaving me only in black lace panties.

Pedro raises his right hand and calls me with two fingers, I walk to him feeling my legs shaking, but I keep my gaze fixed on his. He pulls me keeping me trapped between his legs, his hands holding my ass.

“ Now be a good girl and turn on that jacuzzi for us huh? “ he says giving me a strong slap in my side thigh, my skin burns.

I go to the hot tub, walking through the room only in panties and feeling his eyes follow my movements, I sit on the edge of that and press all the buttons that are there, I look at him and give a shy laugh confessing:

“I don't know how to...” he approaches and as he slowly climbs the steps he takes off his shirt by throwing it on the floor

I feel my throat dry and my mouth open watching him…

_How did he look like that in such a short time? _

He quickly presses the right button and the bathtub starts to filling up, he extends his hand and calls me to bed

“It's going to take sometime to fill up”

Still watching his body change, I don't hold it and ask

“How?” he shrugs and answers “For the movie, babe”he holds my wrists and pulls me against his chest and it’s hot, I immediately put my lips on his neck, he moans and grabs my ass tightly.

I go down slowly licking and kissing every inch of slightly salty skin, I pass my tongue in a circle through his nipples, I bite gently and it makes him moan and smirk.

I raise my eyes and see that he is following every move I make. I go down slowly while my hands undo the knot of his shorts, I slide my hand inside and I feel his pulsating, I notice the small wet spot of excitement over his boxers and pull his cock out slowly, just the tip, light pink mush head already drooling pre cum.

I look at him again, he grabs my hair and says softly:

“Suck me” I run my thumb through the head, spreading the pre cum, I say:

“Is that what you want?” he moans begging “Yea yea do it” taking his hand behind my head he grabs the back of my neck against his cock, I feel his trimmed pubhair next to my nose.

On my knees I run my hands through his thighs, pull a little his boxers leaving only his cock out, hold it and pass my tongue all over his shaft, reaching the tip cleaning the pre cum, hold by the base near the balls and put it in my mouth, feeling it touch my throat. He gasps, I can feel how ready he is to fuck me any minute.

Between sucking and licking I go up, licking his body until I stand up and pushing him to sit on the edge of the bed, I climb on his lap, I sit on top of his hard cock rubbing myself, grabbing his hair and kiss him slowly, savoring his mouth, his mustache pinching me. He holds me by the thighs and gets up, he interrupts the kiss and looks at the hottub that is ready, he says:

“Let's go?”

Pedro lets me go and hold his hand guiding him to the jacuzzi, his gaze fixed on my body, as if he had never wanted me as much as he does now.

My trembling legs can barely climb the steps without faltering, when I reach the edge, I pull him close to my body and wrap the back of his neck in my left hand, causing his face to go close to mine, my right hand slides through his tummy til it reaches his hard on, holding his cock I feel him twitching at my touch.

I bring my lips closer to his with a soft kiss I go down to his neck passing my tongue slowly until I get close to his ear I say low:

“Your turn” whispering I hook my fingers to the waistband of his shorts and I take it off, as the clothes go down my body follows, his cock jumping on my face, getting on my knees to him.

I take off his shorts throwing them to the side, untie his NB’s throwing same side as the shorts. I raise my eyes to find his eyes that I believe at no time have deviated from me.

I hold his thigh with my left hand while the right goes up to to his dick and start stroking him, he sighs and throws his head back, his breath getting panting again getting heavier as I accelerate the movements, the tip of his pink cock getting full of pre cum

“Oh fuck... Fuck” he moans while I touch him, I can feel his thigh muscles contracting every time I run my thumb over the head of his cock and sucking my finger looking at him

“Let me fuck that mouth... Let me” I barely give him time to beg and start sucking him, he moans so hot, putting a hand on my head, holding my hair in his fist, dictating the rhythm he wants.

“Your mouth is so hot, so fucking hot babe” he talks among moans and hisses. I'm already dripping, the excitement taking over my body. Pedro pushes my head against his cock, making me choke, it makes my pussy pulsate.

He knows he could fuck my mouth all night long, but he remembers that there is something better waiting for him, so grabbing my hair he pulls me up, leaving me standing in front of him. He looks to the side, towards the windows that frame the landscape outside.

“This view, I thought about you several times while looking at it” he turns me around, leaving me with my back to him, I feel his skin hot a thin layer of sweat. Pedro holds my hair and with his lips close to my ear, feeling the hot and panting breath, it's all so intoxicating.

“Yeah, it's pretty “ I agree, the view is beautiful, but my body can't focus on what my eyes see, the excitement has taken over me, so I close my eyes and let the feeling of his body glued to mine dominate me.

“Open your eyes” he says with his chin resting on my shoulder, I feel Pedro lower his fingers going down my back, scratching me going towards my ass, his fingers playing with my panties, pulling down so slowly, taking off my panties he throws in a corner, his right hand between my legs rising together more until he finds my pussy, his index and middle finger sliding through my wet pussy, Pedro bites my ass and gets up licking my back until he reaches my neck, keeping his hand over my pussy and whispers in my ear:

“I came in the hot tub thinking about you, you know? Watching this view, and now... Now I'm going to make you cum the same way.”

Then Pedro slide two fingers inside me, with precise movements, I try to muffle my moans, covering my mouth, he pulls my hand and holds my arm behind my back making me get closer to him.

He is not fast, the movements are calm and precise, a calculated torture. Every time he fucks I feel my pussy squeeze around his fingers.

He takes out his fingers and circles my waist slowly, going down his hand he begins to make circular movements on my clit, making me arch my back, I'm so close to cumming, I close my eyes without feeling and he quickly orders

“Open your eyes my little bitch, open!“ he talks while fast the movements on my clit, I feel the orgasm approaching

“I want you cumming enjoying the view... Just enjoying the view babe “ he again slides two fingers in my pussy roughly, his palm rubbing my clit, that's enough and makes me cum on his fingers, he moaning in my ear satisfying himself with my pleasure. My body trembles glued to his body, Pedro gets even harder, I can feel him against my ass.

He holds my waist and turns me to him, kissing me I feel my body still shaking, recovering from orgasm.

“I love how your body responds so fucking well to me” he lowers his head and licks the curve of my neck, distributing bites

“And I want more” I say while I feel his tongue torture me, walking around my neck, I close my eyes and I feel his cock poking my stomach, leaving it wet with pre cum.

Pedro say softly everything he wants to do to me, only the sound of his low and hoarse voice is enough to excite me more and more. I put my hand between our bodies and stroke him, feeling how his cock is pulsating, how hot it is feeling his breath in my ear.

“ I want you so bad in this jacuzzi babe, but right now i need to feel you... Be inside you” Pedro says this by holding my neck so that I look him in the eyes and puts the fingers that were in my pussy in his mouth, proving my taste, he closes his eyes while savoring me, moaning.

He takes my hand and guides me to the edge, he sits down and I watch his body, his back touching the marble, he opens his legs and my eyes rise watching the shapely thighs, his cock twitching over his stomach, his hair even more shaggy.

It's an unbearable sight.

“ Ride me, sit on me….” a moan escapes from my throat with his order, as I'm going down to ride him he slaps my right thigh hard.

“Sit with your back to me, slut “ I love it when he curses me like that.

I crouch down and feel him holding his cock and rubbing it through the entrance of my folds, hitting my clit torturing me.

Pedro moans some Spanish words in my ear, hearing him speaking like that is what makes me pulse and sit on his cock, feeling him fill me completely.

With a loud moan I feel his desperate hands holding my waist, guiding the movements, back and forth back and forth…I squeeze his cock and that's enough for Pedro to bite my shoulder and hold my neck with his left hand, with his right he grabs me tightly, going down his hand to swipe my breasts, squeezing and pulling my nipples. He holds my neck and pulls me making me stick my back to his chest

“My favorite bitch you love to squeeze my cock huh? Come on, give me one fucking more... Cum for papi” he says this between bites, Pedro slides his hand until he finds my clit, his fingers circling hard making me scream, but my screams and moans are being strangled by his hand on my neck, I feel my vision dark but it's so good that I don't say anything but moans and supplications.

I grind rubbing myself, my hands holding his legs, feeling my body slip by his, I'm close I know he knows, he feels my body, he knows my body like no one else.

“Cum on my cock my little bitch! Now!” and with the order he gives I cum, strong, he lets go of my neck and holds the back of my neck making me turn to look into his eyes, he reaches my lips, kissing me Pedro swallows all my moans and screams of the spasm I just felt cumming with his cock inside me.

I start to close my legs, he growls and bites my lower lip, releasing my hair he holds my leg preventing me from closing them.

“Cum again I want to feel it” I don't know if my body can take it, but I want to give it everything he wants.

“Please please please” he lets go of my lips and holds the back of my neck, looking me in the eyes he says laughing:

“Fuck, you look so fucking sexy when you beg”

“Let's go into the hot tub, hottie” I say without strength due to the strong orgasm of seconds ago

_He wants more, I'll give it to him_

I get up feeling my legs tremble, I climb the step and sit on the edge, Pedro enters the bathtub and dives in, he crawls to me and with a movement he runs his hands on his hair fixing them, he crawls to me like a snake, he reaches the button behind me and turns on the hydromassage.

He drops his hands down my thighs to my knees, he makes me open my legs, he pushes me so that I'm almost lying down, approaching his face he begins to torture me, giving slow licks along with bites through the inside of my thighs, always looking into my eyes

“You gonna cum in my mouth now” he says and runs his tongue slowly through my clit, while whispering “Do you understand?” With his thumbs he opens my pussy to have a perfect angle, he sucks and pulls his lips, sticking his tongue in me as if it were his cock. He lifts one of my legs on his shoulder, leaving me more exposed.

I observe that his right hand goes back into the water, he's jerking off while sucking me, it's hard to keep my eyes open, I force my body to observe everything, I'm almost cumming and with weak moans I beg him to fuck me.

“You so dirty doing this” he looks at me with dark eyes and says with his mouth on my thigh distributing bites and hickeys.

“Do you want dirty?” no chance to answer he pulls me by the legs, making me scream with fright and fall into the water.

Pressing me against the wall of the bathtub he climbs a hand on my face, squeezing my cheeks making me open my mouth he spits on my tongue, waiting for me to swallow, then kissing me so hungry that I feel my lips hurt.

He kisses me and drags his lips to my ear to moan and growl my name.I accidentally scratch his back, he stop and says calmly:

“Don't do it bitch, otherwise you will regret it” he wraps his arm behind my head, making it my support, then he positions his cock in my pussy and slides inside me, I moan loudly, he puts his free hand over my lips and talks while punching me.

“Shut up you cunt hmmm” he fucks harder. The water following our movements, my mouth meets his again, I go towards his chin, his jaw, his beard scratching my face is too much for me.

Our bodies burned even in already cold water, it was as if we were able to set the room on fire at any time.

The touch of his hands on my body gives me goosebumps, it's so good, so soft but also so delirious.

He grabs my hips, pulling my body against his, his cock still buried inside me, pulsating feeling my pussy squeeze, feeling that hot pain.

His arms slide around my waist and lift me up and when I can tell, I'm out of the jacuzzi, sitting again on the edge. He gets up slowly, teasing me I can't divert my eyes from his body, the wet skin, the drops of water that run down his tummy until it drips to find his cock.

It can be the longing speaking or simply the Mediterranean air does it good, which I know is he is exhaling a sexuality that drives me crazy.

“What do you want now, huh?”

I ask while he offers his hand to me helping me get up

“We gonna wet the whole bed if we go there like this…”

“No problem babe” he says as he approaches me putting his hands on my waist, with his face almost glued to mine, forehead with forehead, his eyes never abandon me, this is something Pedro always has: eye contact.

“You can sleep with me in my room, in my bed.. if anyone see, i really don't care”

My body is taken by an excitement, I don't know if it's why he doesn't mind having me in his room, in a hotel full of actors and people who know him, or because of his cock that throbs against my stomach while I answer

“So in that case I think we have to take the risk” he smiles, that beautiful smile, he holds my hand and leads me to the bed, when we get to the foot of the bed I push him and make him lie down

“Oh.. so you want to be in control now? “ he says as he pulls a pillow under his head, giving a little smile

“show me what you want.. show me...”

I climb on top of him, one leg on each side of his hip, holding his cock I fit in my pussy and sit slowly, feeling him open me, centimeter by centimeter, this makes him release a slow moan with his eyes closed.

“Oh fuck... Your pussy is my weakness... My fucking weakness” he speaks as he opens his eyes and watches my pussy swallow him as I start riding, leaning my hands on his chest I feel his cock so deep in me that he touches my G-spot.

“Do you like it huh? Like it when your little bitch rides you” I can feel another orgasm forming on me, I take a hand off his chest and put two fingers in his mouth, Pedro sucks and then I drag the same hand to touch my clit, it makes him moan and slap my ass.

“I love to see you touching yourself babe... Fuck don't stop don't stop!”

I keep riding while I masturbate, our eyes are attached to each other my body begins to beg to cum, Pedro holds my hip so tightly that I know I will have marks to remember. He guides my movements, I'm close

“I'm gonna cum... please cum with me” I speak while grinding faster feeling my pleasure swallowing me “Please Pedro cum inside me...”

I cum on his cock and feel the hot jet of cum fill me, cumming next to me, moaning and saying disconnected words.

A few seconds pass and I'm still riding on him, trying to make my body obey and move, he looks at me and laughs.

Pedro pulls me and kisses me, in fact two desperate mouths hitting each other, uncontrolled tongues, bites and sighs.

He interrupts the kiss and holds my neck, fingers rubbing the sweaty skin, he can feel the pulsating vein of my neck, he slides until he curls his fingers on the back of my neck, holding a handful of hair between his fingers, he pulls back, making my face stand up to him, looking into my eyes he speaks calmly and slowly

“Get on your knees... I'm not done with you yet” I get up from the bed soon he gets up and holds my hair forcing me down I feel the icy floor hitting my knees that contrast of the cold with my indented body, I look at him, imposing looking at me from above, like a Greek god, he has his cock pointing at my face, his sweaty red chest, his hair sticking to his forehead the irregular breathing, his lips half-open looking for fresh air.

“Come on, walk like a good daddy's dog that you are babe” he says that and pushes me to get on all fours on the floor, crawl for a few meters, he holding my hair as if it were a leash, he pulls me and making me stop walking, I sit on my heels and look into his eyes, my hands walk through his thighs, my eyes show all the horniness I'm feeling, they talk more than my own mouth would be able to say.

“Suck very very slowly... you understood?I want you to taste me again” I nod my head confirming, licking my lips when I see his cock getting hard again so close.

_God, should be a crime for him to be so hot_

He holds his cock by the base and rubs it on my face, wetting with pre cum, hitting my mouth teasing me.

I open my lips, I put my tongue out and it sticks to the bottom of my throat, I choke a little but I don't push it away, without cutting the eye contact my nails stick in his thighs, as if they were my life-saving boat, the air that my lungs need.

“Yeah babe like that slowly...” he moans and throws his head back, both hands tangled in my hair, holding a ponytail he guides my mouth the way he wants to fuck.

Pedro moves his hands away from my head and I see that he takes a bottle of champagne, he leans a little back and pours champagne down his body, soon I feel the alcohol trail coming into contact with my lips and his cock, making it a unique and extremely dangerous flavor.

“Do you like to swallow me like that bitch? Huh? Swallow it all” he pours more champagne and I swallow everything I can, push my lips away and keep sucking only the head of his dick, sucking hard and stroking him. My eyes never abandon his, he takes a few sips of champagne, the sight of him standing, wet with champagne while drinking straight from the bottle is suffocating, I put my left hand in my pussy and play with my clit, I want to cum admiring him, I want to give him an orgasm just with his cock in my mouth.

I suck his balls, one of each, feeling them contrairem on my tongue, he moans more when I do that. So I swallow him again, wrapping my tongue to the base and sticking it deep in my throat

“Fuck, that's what I want... Touch yourself for me, you cum on your fingers while swallowing my hot cum... Do you want that hot cum in the back of your throat?” I don't answer, I just stick his cock up to my throat and suck hard, with quick movements, my fingers circling my clit hard, I feel his cock pulse and then 4 jets of hot cum go down my throat, mixing with the champagne that was still present on my tongue.

I cum with him, feeling my pussy pulsate.

“Ohhh fuck you... Ahhh babe yeah like that... Fucking bitch”

When he starts having spasms of pleasure I take him out of his mouth, looking into his eyes and making the best whore face, I run my index finger through my lips and suck, showing him that I didn't let any drop of cum be wasted.

Pedro pulls me by the hair, holding my neck tightly and kisses me, not caring about feeling his own taste, he kisses me and holds my hand, interrupting the kiss but without diverting his eyes from mine, he licks my fingers and bites gently.

“Damn...you gonna kill me…”

I laugh and sink my face into his neck, the smell of sweat, sex and skin is intoxicating, I lick the salty taste of his skin and kiss his jaw

“Babe... let's go to the jacuzzi now.. relax?”

He smiles and take me to the jacuzzi, we already know where this will probably end.

—————————————

Thanks for being here and read our delusional fics, likes are appreciate, comments even more. If you want to ask anything, blast it!

[graysbullshit]

a list of brazillian fun facts you might want to know for your qsmp fanfics! (or in general lol)

DATING IN BRAZIL (because I know at least 50% of yall are gonna be writting slash):

Phase 1 can be or texting/talking or ficando (infinitive: ficar), it depends on how shy you are;

Ficando means to be actively seeking a person out consistently with the intent of talking for a bit and then making out (it does not entail any level of loyalty);

Brazillians only consider it "making out" if you french kiss;

Kissing without tongue is considered weird and viewed negativelly;

A little peck on the lips is cute, but not really what we consider kissing;

There are two types of brazillians: the ones that will start dating after a week and the ones that take months to make up their minds;

If a brazillian is interested in you (even if you don't know each other) and you're in a party there is a very good chance they will walk up to you and ask if you want to make out/ask for your instagram handle (it depends on what kind of party it is tbh);

Also, most brazillians kiss and tell lmao;

It is not uncommon for outgoing brazillians to make out with random strangers, especially during carnival;

We are a sex positive country mostly;

We are very sensual, even if we have no romantic interest;

Mock-flirting or Joke-flirting is very common in friend groups;

People who make out/date with the person their friend likes are called Talarica or Talarico;

When you get cheated on you're called Corno;

People usually go on dates after ficar for a whille;

Usually, if you're going on dates with someone it is expected of you to be faithful or to end things (you can't go on dates with a guy while also going on dates with another guy, that's fucked up);

We call dating namorando, from the infinitive namorar which refers back to namorado (boyfriend) and namorada (girlfriend);

brazillians are typically very direct when they are interested in someone, which doesn't mean they will say "oh, i like you" right away, but they will flirt for sure;

in Brazil saying "I love you" isn't a big deal, most brazillians will say it pretty fast and not saying it back (if you're in a relationship) is considered VERY WEIRD;

brazillians have the tendency of being very jealous lmao;

GEOGRAPHY:

Brazil is a continental sized country, being the fifth biggest country in the entire world. It is bigger than the USA, if counting only directly conected land (ignoring Brazil's islands and Hawaii and Alaska);

Because of it's size, brazillian states have a great number of differences in language, culture, food, climate, and politics;

There is as much animosity between states as in the USA (the difference being: brazillians will always defend each other rather than gringos);

The brazillian streamers are all from the Center-West, South-East and South of Brazil (unfortunatly there is nobody to represent the North and North-east);

The south-east is the are of biggest economical impact, while the center-west is known for the capital of the country (Brasília) and the agriculture, while the south has a terrible reputation (they have livestock too, but mostly a bad reputation);

Brazil has two of the biggest cities in the world: the 5º biggest, São Paulo, and the 19º biggest, Rio de Janeiro;

Nobody fucking likes São Paulo (the city) except from the people that were born there or lived there their entire lives;

Brazil has a mostly warm climate, and most brazillians consider anything below 20ºc to be cold (vai sulista, fala que no sul é mais frio, fala);

Brazil's seasons are more often defined by the level of humity, rather than how hot/cold it is;

Brazil is a giant when it comes to agriculture and livestock. We have a lot of grains, and red meat. If you drink coffee and eat meat you have definetly tasted brazillian products without knowning, since we do a lot of exportation (especially to europe);

Brazil has natural diamonds, pre-sal (which can be used in the making of combustives), gold and other precious stones.

HISTORY:

Brazil was mostly colonized by the portuguese, but there was also a presence of the Spanish, French, Dutch and British. You can tell by the architecture;

Rio de Janeiro was the capital of the Portuguese Kingdom for a little while;

Brazil (much like Mexico) was once an Empire;

Brazil (as it's own coutry) has had only two Emperors;

the Brazillian Empire was a big deal despite ending fairly soon;

Brazil's Empire once eliminated about 90% of the male population of Paraguay during a war, which is def a war crime. We have repayed them for what happened, though;

Cities like Rio de Janeiro have a lot of Imperial architecture, but most of the colonial architecture can be found in states like Minas Gerais;

Brazil sent troups in WWII to Italy, the famous Smoking Snakes;

Brazil was forced into a dictatorship by the USA (surprising no one);

Brazil had a president that decided to develop highways instead of trains (i fucking hate him). It's the same guy that moved the capital from Rio de Janeiro to Brasília;

Brasília was build with the blood of poor people and it fucking sucks, but it has the shape of an airplane so everything is fine ig /s;

Brazil's first woman president and it's current president were both tortured during the dictatorship;

Brazil is a concervative country, despite everything;

Do not ask me about Brazil's politics, because it's so fucking insane lmao;

GENERAL CULTURE:

Brazillian culture exists on top of three axes: Portuguese, African, and Indigineous;

We take A LOT from Japonese culture (since we are the country with the biggest Japonese population outside of Japan). I've never met a brazillian who hasn't watched anime, even my grandma knows what Pokemon is /srs;

Some other important diasporas in Brazil: Lebanon (we have more lebanese than Lebanon itself lol), China, Germany, Italy, and many different African countries;

Most brazillians listen to funk and sertanejo, but other brazillian music you might be interested in: samba, BRrock, mpb, BRpop, Axé, and Pagode;

Some other famous brazillians you might not know, but you should: Silvio Santos, Celso Portiolli, Rodrigo Faro, Angélica, Eliana, Xuxa, Luciano Huck, Pyong Lee, Mauricio de Sousa, Ariano Suassuna, Clarice Lispector, Machado de Assis, Guilmarães Rosa, Fernando Pessoa, Vinicius de Moraes, Toquinho, Mateus Hwang, Tiago Leifert, Tadeu Schmidt, Boninho, Guilherme Briggs, Fernanda Montenegro, Rodrigo Santoro, Wagner Moura, Seu Jorge, etc;

Most brazillians only drink tea for medicinal reasons (like cammomile tea);

Most brazillians love coffee and hate iced coffee;

Most brazillians start drinking coffee at a very young age;

Drinking (alchool) age in Brazil is 18yo, but most brazillians start drinking around 15yo;

Most brazillians love meat and barbecue. Here is a picture of a brazillian brabecue:

Brazil, differently from other American coutries, didn't have potatoes/corn as it's basic food, we had a root called Mandioca. Although it is still very beloved in brazillian cusine, the base for brazillian meals is currently Rice;

In Brazil we usually don't eat a lot during breakfast, but have a big meal (with rice, veetables, meat, and beans) for lunch and dinner. And our dinner is usually around 20h-22h;

We don't use AM or PM;

We use the metric system and Celcius, and we very much deslike the imperial system and what's-his -face is an abhorrent scientific disgrace;

brazillians who suck up to gringos are called "Vira-latas", which can be translated to "mutts" or more directly "eat-trash";

brazillians have mutiple coffee breaks during the day, mostly in the afternoon;

brazillians brush their teeth at least 3 times a day (mostly after every big meal);

brazillians shower at least once a day, some going as far as to shower three times a day during summer;

brazillians do not use snapchat and they think it's obsolete (because it is);

brazillians will pirate anything that isn't made by other brazillians, and I mean ANYTHING. There is no shame in pirating in Brazil and we are very proud of being the country that pirates the most in the world! We will also buy counterfeit products knowing they are counterfeit;

brazillians rivalry with argentinians is REAL. And, although is mostly a football thing, it really translates to everything else (especially if it's online);

brazillians have a hierarchy when it comes down to rooting for stuff, and it goes like this: brazillians, sibling countries, latin americans, other african countries, other third world countries, japan, other asian countries, european countries, anglo-saxon americans, argentina (if it's football), germany, portugal;