#it features the first and only time i can get behind the 'kyle gets jealous of butters for spending time with cartman' idea

[north-park]

The best Kyle characterization is never in style or Kyle-centric fanfics it's always in bunny fanfics where he is tangled in a side plot and he is biggest idiot on earth who can't see the most obvious shit before him and needs Kenny to explain the everything for him

[bianmao]

Catwoman during the Silver Age of comic books

Reading list + reviews

#1 Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane (November 1958)

- issue 70: "The Catwoman's Black Magic!"

- issue 71: "Bad Luck for a Black Super-Cat!"

After Catwoman's success in Batman '66 she finally makes her official return to the comic books continuity... and with style, as she defeats and traps none other than Superman while meeting Lois Lane, one of her future best friends, for the first time.

We can consider this the first appearance of Silver Age (so Earth-One) Selina Kyle and the fact that we see her cat-costume slightly changed, with a bodysuit instead of a dress, foreshadows Selina's biggest trait during this era: Silver Age Selina will drastically change her catsuit a lot of times before coming back to her traditional garments during the following Bronze Age. Very interestingly, this is the first time Catwoman appears in a non Batman-centric comic book title or story giving her more space to show what her real "super power" is: her wit. With her brains she manages to fool and capture the Man of Steel himself, turning him into a cat and trapping him insite a kryptonyte cage... she does the same to Lois, turning her into a mice, after hypnotizing her to try and frame the Daily Planet's reporter as the real Catwoman.

Along with Selina's cleverness, sense of humor and love for big cats, another thing we see coming back in this issue is her wide range of cat-gadgets with a few new additions. A brand new location for her iconic lair, the Catacomb, appears too: a cat-shaped formation on a mountain, also reachable through the Kitty Car's autopilot feature that we see here for the first time. Knockout bombs, hypnotic jewels and legendary magic wands coming straight out of Homer's most famous poem, the Odyssey, aside, Selina shows us her catarangs for the first time, claiming them to be even more dangerous than their better known counterparts, batarangs.

Although Selina in the Silver Age has a much more villainous presence compared to any other version of her character (for instance, Selina today would never experiment on animals like she does in this issue) I like how empowering she is for women, even all these years ago, not only having male henchmen at her beck and call but also outsmarting and even using the likes of not only Superman but Penguin, who is best known for his cunning, too.

#2 Batman Kellogg's Special (1966): "The Catwoman's Catnapping Caper!"

This is one out of a series of six different short comic book one-shot stories that could be found inside Kellogg's Pop-Tarts as gifts after buying each box.

There's not much to say about the plot... it's basically a remake (rather a summary) of Batman issue 39, "A Christmas Tale!" but I'm happy they decided to remake an old issue in which Catwoman stopped one of her goons from killing Batman.

[- Action Comics (December 1966) issue 344: "Superman's Nightmare Dreams!"

- Detective Comics (June 1967) issue 364: "The Curious Case of the Crime-less Clues!"

Before moving on I wanted to at least mention a couple of Catwoman cameos between 1966 and 1967. In particular, the second one, although it's just a statue and not the real Catwoman, gives us a glimpse of how Catwoman's costume is going to evolve soon...]

[World's Finest Comics (September 1967) issue 169: "The Supergirl-Batgirl Plot - Clash of the Super-Teams!"

In this issue Supergirl and Batgirl, jealous of their "men"-counterparts' much bigger popularity, decide to team up to replace Superman and Batman as the greatest heroes.

Okay so... what about Catwoman?

Well, Supergirl and Batgirl planning something like this? It sure feels a bit off... that's because Supergirl is actually Black Flame in disguise while it was Catwoman who was hiding behind Batgirl's mask, betrayed by her beautiful green eyes.

The story gets even weirder when we realize that there was still more to unmask: in the end it was all a trick by Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxyzptlk but, at least, we got to see Selina's cute purple dress with her green cape one last time in a while.]

#3 - Detective Comics (November 1967) issue 369: "Batgirl Breaks Up the Dynamic Duo"

- Batman (December 1967) issue 197: "Catwoman Sets Her Claws for Batman!"

After briefly appearing in Detective Comics to give us a glimpse of her next "plan", Catwoman returns on stage in a new catsuit that strongly resembles the Batman '66 one... but green, and claims to have finally reformed, having now become a hero even Batman and Robin can count on. She calls this new version of herself "Now Look Catwoman" but is this big change sincere?

As I already mentioned, Silver Age Selina is the less heroic version of the character in history and in this story she is driven by possessiveness towards Batman and jealousy towards Batgirl but with this brand new suit she wanted to at least be seen as a hero just like Batman and a better partner for him than Batgirl. When she realizes that becoming a hero still isn't enough to have Batman fall in love with her she starts to become more and more threatening. Although this Catwoman is very far from the idea that we have of the character today I really love, once again, thinking about how special it is for a woman this early in comic book history to be so independent and free to be unconventionally self-centered and evil: in a moment in time in which most women in comics were written either as mere love interests, as sidekicks, as damsels in distress or as idealized heroic figures, someone like Catwoman still feels like a breath of fresh air.

#4 Batman: The Silver Age dailies and Sundays Vol. 1 (1966-1967)

This book collects short Batman stories published as comic strips in newspapers during the Silver Age and this story in particular was published from May to July in 1966. The plot feels just like watching a Batman '66 episode with the same characters, tropes and campiness.

It's still interesting because it gives us the name of her cat (Cleo) and the names of two of her henchmen (Tomcat and Fraidy) and, although she is a full-on villain in this one, threatening to kill Batman and Robin, we see once again how truly smart she is planning her evasion and her vendetta all by herself.

#5 Batman (May 1968) issue 201: "Batman's Gangland Guardians!"

Although Catwoman doesn't have a big presence in this issue I still couldn't wait to talk about this appearance because some modern writers nowadays *cough* Tom King *cough* are somehow trying to convince us Catwoman used to frequently team up with the rogue's gallery: after almost 30 years of Catwoman working alone, at times even opposing other rogues like Joker and Penguin, we see her teaming up with the all the other villains in Gotham... why? To save Batman's life.

A west coast crime syndicate is trying to settle down in Gotham City after killing the Batman and Penguin, afraid they might refuse to coexist and start going after Gotham's criminals next, calls every rogue in Gotham to oppose that and save Batman from death.

Very ironic how the first time Selina decides to team up with other villains is for a noble (well... the effects at least) cause.

#6 Batman (February 1969) issue 208: "The Women in Batman's Life!"

Mrs. Chilton, sef-proclaimed most important woman in Batman's life, reminisces of all the other women who impacted Batman's life: she mentions in chronological order Julie Madison, Linda Page, Vicki Vale, Kathy Kane, Kaye Daye and even Dick's aunt Harriet... then again Patricia Powell, Marcia Monroe, Poison Ivy and lastly Barbara Gordon. Of course Catwoman is in the list too, right after Julie, remembered in her first ever appearance in Batman issue 1, when she became a hero working undercover in Batman issue 62 and when she eventually came back being a villain in Detective Comics issue 203.

Today things are very different for most of the characters mentioned above and their relationship with Batman... but as for Selina? Batman's relationship with Catwoman is still the second oldest and the most relevant one to this day.

#7 Batman (March 1969) 210: "The Case of the Purr-loined Pearl!"

No doubt one of my favorite pre-Crisis Catwoman comic books, Batman issue 210 introduces Selina Kyle in a brand new catsuit (probably inspired by Harvey Comics' Black Cat) but still ambitious and smart as ever.

While Batman and Robin notice that Catwoman has been laying low ever since she came out of jail for over a month, wondering if they should stay vigilant or assuming she's going straight, Selina (with the help of her cat Slinky) invites a group of eight inmates at the Women's House of Detention outside Gotham City at her new "Selina Slenderizing Salon" to receive a V.I.P. service for free on the day of their release from prison. Big Barbara, Florid Flo, Light Laura, Leapin' Lena, Sultry Sarah, Timid Trixie and two more unnamed women that will later become Catwoman's Feline Furies deduce that the one who called them must have been Selina Kyle, the Catwoman, and after attacking her, eight versus one, to show her they don't need her as a leader, Selina quickly overpowers the whole group and begins training them to look and act just like her. Her motivation is payback, to take revenge on the reason they all went astray and ended up in jail: men.

Once again, this issue shows Batman going easy on Catwoman, no matter how evil her schemes might be and the Kitty Car also makes a quick appearance. We also see Catwoman using a pair of her iconic Cat-Goggles for the first time and learn her prison number: 102860.

#8 Adventure Comics (April 1972) issues 418 and 419: "Black Canary: Circle of Doom"

Black Canary finds a job at the Women's Resistance League and starts working for them as a judo teacher for their members. Why? Because they are "tired of being dominated by male strength". Once their training is completed, however, Dinah gets abducted by Bertha Kane, Marcy and the rest of the women-only League they belong to. While stunned, she hears about their secret "Leader" and about a certain plan to break "her" free. After reading the previous issue we analyzed: Batman #210, we can already have an idea on who this secret "Leader" might be...

That's right, their Leader is actually Catwoman, wearing her old purple suit while being transferred a maximum security prison escorted by two police officers (one of them named Hill). To Selina's displeasure Dinah successfully takes the whole group down so the infamous Catwoman can safely reach her destination and stay there... not for long!

#9 Wonder Woman (August 1972)

- Issue 201: "The Fist of Flame"

- Issue 202: "Fangs of Fire"

So early in comic book history and Catwoman has already appeared in a Superman-related series and now we see her making an appearance in Wonder Woman, meeting, fighting and working with Diana Prince, side by side.

While taking a flight to Tibet to find the "Fist of Flame": a mysterious ruby with magical powers she needs to find her ally Jonny Double, Diana sees a woman so pretty she is sure to have seen her somewhere else before... if only she knew that woman was none other than the infamous Catwoman, looking for the same gemstone! When they meet again in the presence of the ruby the thief successfully lays her hands on what she had been looking for, however, taken aback by its powerful hypnotic powers, Catwoman is knocked out and taken away with Diana by the cultists that were watching over it. To atone for the "sin" of simply touching the Fist of Flame Diana and Selina are given swords and are forced to fight to death suspended above a pit of flames. Although Selina always preferred fighting unarmed, or with just a whip at most, it's nice to see she has no problem wielding swords even this early in her character's history... also because this won't be the last time we see her being well-versed with swords! Also it's interesting how Selina, once again, says to be against killing when the circumstances allow it. Anyways, Diana finds a way to save both of them from that horrible fate and, out of gratitude, Selina decides to help Diana in her quest rather than keeping the gemstone for herself. No matter if during the most heroic or villainous moments in her life, Selina always feels in debt whenever anybody does something good for her. So, Catwoman tells the group she previously hired Johnny Double to find the Fist of Flame so she could steal it and, also, reveals to already have an idea about who the culprit might be: I-Ching's daughter, Lu Shan but before they can can do anything about it the magical gemstone teleports them to the world of Nehwon, where they get acquainted with Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser, the main characters of a series of stories written by Fritz Leiber. In particular, Selina seems to get along very well with the Grey Mouser and they team up as soon as the two groups reach an agreement as they realize that the Flame Fist has a counterpart: the Eye of the Ocean, a sapphire with similar magical powers in the hands of Lu Shan. They eventually manage to succeed and get back home with Jonny Double while trapping Lu Shan in Nehwon. Although Selina doesn't have much depth, I think this issue still does her justice in several ways.

#10 Batman: The Silver Age dailies and Sundays Vol. 3 (1969-1972)

This third volume collects all the Batman comic strips published in newspapers during the Silver Age between 1969 and 1972. In these strips, Catwoman appears roughly between February and September 1971, when #batman's rogue's gallery sets up crimes based on Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. As for Selina, there is a callback to "Claws of the Catwoman!", a story from Batman issue 42 in which, for the first time, Selina was inspired by Alice's Cheshire Cat for one of her crimes and, just like in "Claws of the Catwoman!", Selina leaves Hecate behind with Batman to help him escape. Thanks to Catwoman's indirect help, Batman and Batgirl manage to save their own lives and overpower all the other villains... while letting Catwoman go. Robin, Batgirl and even Batman wonder if that was out of gratitude or out of the same thing that made Catwoman try to save his life.

#11 Batman (June 1974) issue 256: "Catwoman's Circus Caper!"

Robin hears of a murder case at the Tip-Top Circus, one very similar to the one that took his parents away from him. Worried, Batman joins the investigation, and, after beating her henchmen and noticing how her helpers' strength is declining with time, he soon realizes that the beautiful tiger-tamer, who started working at that very circus only one month earlier, Nelias, is actually Selina Kyle, the Catwoman. As she stops the albino tigers she caged Batman and Robin with from attacking them she reveals her schemes to the Caped Crusader: she is planning to "steal" those priceless tigers to free them from captivity in which they are forced to perform to amuse the circus' audience, something very true to her character, one of the most iconic traits that still define her to this day. One of Batman and Catwoman's iconic chases follows and I have to say I really love the writing here: by the way they speak to each other you could say they have known each other for a very long time and have shared some kind of intimacy. Since Catwoman appeared on the scene Robin started being suspicious of her but Batman knew she was innocent of murder all along... even if she indirectly caused it: the culprit was nonother than the victim's brother, jealous of Nelias' attentions towards the brother he took the life of, committing the oldest crime of them all, the crime of Cain.

#12 Batman (August 1975) issue 266: "The Curious Case of the Catwoman's Coincidences!"

In this issue Batman and Catwoman are caught up in a whirlwind of coincidences while playing their usual cat and (winged) mouse game.

Everything starts with a foreteller warning Bruce Wayne about the fortuitous events awaiting him in his short future while they are on board of a train which is also transporting a group of prisoners to the State Prison. A repented Selina Kyle, the Catwoman, is traveling among them but, unlike her usual self who would have had an escape plan ready, this time she is just hoping to square herself with the law by serving her sentence in prison... but everything happening after said train accidentally derails shows how something in the Universe thought it wasn't time for the Catwoman to exit the scene just yet: one of her former criminal accomplices, Rudy Stern helpe Selina to escape from the trainwreck, asking her to come back leading the criminal underworld as the Catwoman. As Rudy tries to kiss her during the escape, Selina pulls out her claws once again to remind him and us readers of who she really is, agreeing to wear back her Catwoman costume and guide them just like the old times. On the Bruce front I think it's mandatory to mention how, right after the accident, changing into Batman, he lets Selina escape because he acknowledges how she is no killer, contrary to the other criminals present on the train with her.

A little more than 20 issues prior to this one we saw the first appearance of the legendary Matches Malone (Batman issue 242) but we all know that was hardly the only non-Batman mask Bruce has ever worn. For instance, in this issue, Bruce crossdresses as a wealthy texan woman, Mrs. Bertha Carrington-Bridgewater, right after hearing about a wave of jewel robberies to lure the culprits into a trap by showing off her jewels at the Gotham Plaza Hotel. The plan succeds as two of the crooks working under the Catwoman's lead, Weasel and Jeremiah Jimson, overhear and report the news to their leader who then sends her trained (and well-known) cat Hecate, that we find out being a siamese cat in this very issue.

So, when Batman sees Hecate carrying jewels and approaching a van, knowing the cat must have been trained to always come back to her mistress, he decides to follow said van which leads the Caped Crusader to the Catwoman's new lair, although she manages to escape once again thanks to her henchmen and a pair of ocelots attacking him, but it's still Hecate who inadvertently causes her mistress' capture.

This is also the first time Batman faces Catwoman alone, without Robin's help!

#13 The Joker (October 1976) issue 9: "The Cat and the Clown"

Unknowingly, the Catwoman and the Joker set their eyes on the same targets at the same time: Benny Springer, an actor who plays a clown in his last movie produced at Mammoth Motion Picture Studios, and his cat and co-star Hiawatha, the "Million Dollar Kitty". Joker enters the scene impersonating the actor but Catwoman beats him to the punch, pretending to be a script-girl interested in the still unreleased "The Cat and the Clown" movie, stunning him and kidnapping both actors. This makes Joker add Catwoman to his list of targets, so he finds, kidnaps and tortures one of her goons, Mouth Madigan, to get information about Catwoman's location. Meanwhile, at Catwoman's secret lair, despite Spots the leopard's assistance, Benny Springer manages to escape, although leaving his friend Hiawatha behind. Unexpectedly, Batman makes an appearance too, trying to save the remaining hostage, but, as always, he ends up sharing a kiss with Catwoman... unfortunately that wasn't really Batman but Joker in disguise. Things get even more complicated as a second Joker appears. The two Jokers begin to fight to prove who the real one is until Catwoman gets the idea to use Hiawatha to identify his owner, planning to stun who she believes being Benny Springer with a laser beam shoot from her Cat's-Paw. Unfortunately the actor was always a step ahead of everyone, calling the police and bringing the two criminals to justice. I think it's worth noticing how it's implied that while Joker is taken to the Arkham Hospital, Catwoman is sent to an ordinary jail.

#14 Batman Family (December 1976) issue 8: "The Copycatgirl Capers!"

A new cat steps out into the spotlight, calling herself Catgirl, but cats are territorial creatures and Catwoman knows well there's not enough room for two criminals using cats as the motif for their larcenies. It is mainly Robin who will take care of Catgirl while Catwoman is simply trying not to let the young criminal steal her heist away. Little she knows that Batman is closer than she thinks, undercover as one of her henchmen, waiting for the right moment to stop her, a moment that later comes at the Kit-Kat Klub, an iconic location in Catwoman comic book history that first appears in "The Case of the Purr-loined Pearl!" story in Batman (1940) issue 210 (although it was called the "Kitty Kat Klub" back there), soon after Robin successfully unmasks Catgirl finding out that she was Joker's daughter, Duela Dent, all along.

Selina doesn't have a lot of screentime in this story but this won't be the last time we see her being annoyed whenever a copycat enters the scene.

#15 The Brave and the Bold (December 1976) issue 131: "Batman and Wonder Woman: Take 7 Steps to... Wipe-Out!"

In this issue the Brave and the Bold are Batman and Wonder Woman, teaming up to stop Catwoman from smuggling the blueprint of the most complicated cryptographic machine ever created (known as "Peter Rabbit") split in seven parts, out of the United States. However Catwoman proves herself to be extremely resourceful, constantly outsmarting the heroes by anticipating each and every one of their moves, we even see her snatch Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth right from her hands, repeatedly fool the heroic duo into believing where to find one of the blueprint's pieces and placing a bomb in its place, fake her own death in order to make her plan go smoothly and a lot more. In the end, even if Batman and Wonder Woman timely manage to understand the Catwoman's plot, retrieving the last piece of the blueprint, Catwoman still managed to slip once again from Batman's fingers. In this story Catwoman placed her hideout in the "Felidae Foundation" private building, "felidae" being the scientific family name of all felines, and, as her usual, she is once again helped by big cats in her heist: two jaguars, one of them melanistic, and a tiger. The problem here is she uses her big cats to kill, something she never did before. This caused a non insignificant backlash on the readers' side: Catwoman fans flooded The Brave and the Bold's mailbox with complaints about not only her odd characterization, but also the choice to have her wear again the blue suit outfit we see here for the last time. The fans were so loud and the inconsitency was so big that they thought it was necessary to design a specific Earth to place this issue's universe on: Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Index calls it Earth B.

Selina's characterization wasn't the only poorly written element in this story though. Did you spot that "Selena", spelled with an "e"? Ugh...

☆ - Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder (September 1968)

- The New Adventures of Batman (February 1977)

In the meantime an animated Catwoman was appearing on TV, even after Batman '66 was concluded, in a series known as The Batman/Superman Hour. Jane Webb was Catwoman's first voice actress in history, voicing her in Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder, while Melendy Britt voiced her in The New Adventures of Batman.

Catwoman appeared in the following episodes:

BATMAN WITH ROBIN THE BOY WONDER:

- Episode 4: "The Nine Lives of Batman"

- Episode 5: "Bubi, Bubi, Who's Got the Ruby?"

- Episode 7: "Partners in Peril"

- Episode 10: "A Game of Cat and Mouse"

- Episode 11: "Will the Real Robin Please Stand Up"

- Episode 12: "Simon the Pieman"

- Episode 13: "From Catwoman with Love"

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BATMAN:

- Episode 3: "Trouble Identity"

- Episode 12: "Curses! Oiled Again!"

- Episode 14: "Have An Evil Day (Part 1)"

- Episode 15: "Have An Evil Day (Part 2)"

#16 Batman (September 1977) issue 291: "The Testimony of the Catwoman!" (part one of the "Where Were You on the Night Batman Was Killed?" storyline: Batman (1940) issues 291, 292, 293 and 294)

Batman is missing and it looks like he's dead.

The news crosses every corner of the american criminal underworld but how exactly that happened or who killed him still isn't clear and a thousand of contradictory rumors and stories are floating around: everyone claims they were the one who killed the Batman. To find out what really happened, the biggest names in crime meet up in Gotham, at the estate of colonel Jake Van Cleeve, also known as "The Claw", a Gotham mobster, to hold a trial. Ra's al Ghul is the judge while the prosecutor is, of course, Harvey Dent, the infamous Two Face. The Riddler, Lex Luthor and the Joker all claim they were responsible for Batman's death but the Catwoman is the first one who testifies in court in widow's weeds, claiming to know how things really went down and accusing herself of having been the cause of Batman's demise.

Now, of course Batman isn't dead and they are all lying about it, so I'm not really sure about how much of Catwoman's testimony is real but she says she recently assumed the identity of Madame Claudine, a celebrated couturière who just moved to Gotham City. She made it look like it was a way to start anew after reforming, leaving her Catwoman persona behind, but it was actually all part of a heist, then disrupted by the Batman. According to what Catwoman testifies, Batman died by drowning when the Batmobile and Catwoman's stolen car both ended up in a river down a gorge and, to save herself, her cats, Hecate and Bongo, her baby jaguar, and her loot, she keeps Batman from holding onto the floating wooden cage that was carrying them... except the brazilian pepper wood the cage was made of couldn't have floated. This inconsistency is what makes Two Face prove that Catwoman is not guilty.

I find it very funny how no villain actually believed Catwoman could have been the culprit ever since she was called to testify because, other than being in love with him, everyone knows she never kills. Even Two Face remarks that in the end (also, by the way, ⚠️SPOILER⚠️ Two Face here is actually Batman in disguise). In this issue we also learn the name of another one of her crooks: Cody, and we see Selina's car too: an ordinary purple car and not the Kitty Car, for the first time.

[spaceskam]

prompt from anon: I know you requested kylex, but I am a slut for your Malex college AUs sooo can I request prompt 1 for Malex??? I feel like Kyle could absolutely be involved 😁 01.  I’m getting progressively more annoyed at the people you bring back to our apartment and it’s not until a friend jokingly asks if I’m jealous that I realize I’ve developed feelings for you college au prompts

ao3

The door of the apartment swing open and Alex stumbled in with a parasite clung to his lips and ripping his shirt off.

Michael had to stop mid-bite through his dinner cereal as he watched his roommate and his roommate's face-eater stumbled to his room, the door slamming behind them. Alex's laugh rang out loud enough that he could hear it and it quickly made him lose his appetite.

With a sigh, he pushed himself to his feet and put his bowl in the sink. Michael grabbed Alex's shirt off the floor and folded it, placing it on the table out of the pathetic-ness of his heart. A moan that was distinctly from Alex's body could be heard on the other side of his bedroom door and Michael took that as his cue to sit outside until the succubus left.

In high school, he and Alex had been the best of friends. They were both chronic outcasts and got detention more than a few times together freshman year which was really how they met. Well, that, and they both stood against the Loner Wall during lunch. Turns out, loners could be loners together.

By the time junior year rolled around, they were inseparable. Where one of them was, the other was sure to be close by. It was just how they were. Alex eventually built the courage to come out and Michael had no problem with it which really only made them closer. Once they knew they were going to the same college, the only logical decision was to get an apartment together.

In theory, it was great. In execution...

"I am a horrible, horrible person," Michael groaned, pulling his knees up to his chest as he held the phone to his ear.

"What did you do?" Isobel asked dryly. Michael rested his chin on his knees and let his eyes drift to the concrete floor of the balcony. It was stained with paint from when Alex had drunkenly done an art project completely naked at 3 in the morning to celebrate the end of their first semester of college.

"I didn't do anything," he told her, "I just... Can someone become homophobic over time?"

"What?"

"When Alex came out, I was fine. Happy for him, even," Michael grumbled, picking at a string on his basketball shorts, "Now every time he brings a guy over, I want to throw up."

"Michael..."

"I know, I'm a piece of shit."

The first year of college had been great. He and Alex were closer than ever, they spent every goddamn moment together. Then sophomore year rolled around and Alex started getting more comfortable with his sexuality. Which was fine.

But then nights like these happened.

Before, in high school, when Alex told him about boys, he didn't really care. He remembered being happy for him and excited for him. Now, though, he just wanted to throw up every goddamn time Alex and a new boy stumbled through the door and headed to his bedroom. He didn't know why he hated it so much, but he did. He really, really did.

"Alex went through a lot to get here. You need to be a good friend and support his hoe season," Isobel lectured. Michael sucked in a long breath, tilting his head back in irritation.

"I'm trying," Michael said, "It's just annoying. And you know we don't even study together anymore?"

"You don't have any of the same classes anymore," Isobel pointed out. Michael rolled his eyes.

"So? I feel like... I don't know what I feel like, I'm just tired of him fucking guys and running me out of my apartment," Michael grumbled.

"Oh, come on, Michael, he is not running you out of your apartment."

"You think I wanna listen to him plow some guy for an hour?"

"An hour? Jeez, that–"

"That is not what you were meant to respond to."

Isobel let out a laugh that slowly died out when Michael didn't say anything.

"Honestly, Michael, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were just mad the person he's fucking isn't you."

"What the fuck, Isobel? No. No, that is not what's happening. Why the fuck would you say that? No, I'm not fucking pining for him, he's my friend. End of," Michael told her. She laughed in response.

"Awfully defensive for a guy who definitely is not jealous," she hummed. Michael felt like his face was on fire and his stomach tied in knots.

"Shut up."

Isobel was damn near cackling. "Listen, baby brother, call me back after you've had your epiphany because that closet of yours is made of glass, okay?"

"I am n–"

"I love you, talk to Alex about how you feel and maybe things will click," she said, making a loud kissy noise before she hung up to avoid any more protesting.

Michael found himself letting his blood light on fire for what felt like an eternity, waiting for Alex to get done with his meal. The more he thought about Isobel's words, the more it pissed him off. There was no way he wanted Alex like that. He had never even kind of looked at Alex like that.

Well, there was that dream that one time... Okay, that happened more than once. But that was normal when you spent every day with someone, right? Besides, he never thought about it while he was awake. That summer they went swimming and Michael got so burnt that Alex, while at all states of undress, kept touching him just to leave handprints on his red skin, typically his bare thighs, absolutely did not count.

"Call me?" Alex's pitstop said, stealing Michael out of the train of thought that was only getting worse. Was there a reason he always remembered so much whenever they got drunk and Alex impulsively got naked?

"Um," Alex said, "Sure, maybe. Bye."

Michael slowly slid the door of the balcony more than the crack it already was, pushing himself inside so he could have a talk with Alex.

"Oh, hey, didn't know you were home," Alex said when he came in, flashing that warm smile of his. He was in nothing but his briefs which was normal enough. They'd always been comfortable around each other like that. Now, though, Michael wanted to crawl out of his skin.

"Yeah, how could you? You were a little busy fucking some strange guy," Michael said casually, a little bit more venom than was really warranted. Alex's eyebrows tugged together in confusion.

"I mean, he's not that strange. He's in my stats class," Alex said, eyeing him slightly, "What crawled up your ass?"

"Nothing, sorry," Michael said, looking away as he clenched and unclenched his fists. He focused on what Isobel said about talking to him about it being bothersome. "But, uh, can we talk?"

"What's up?" Alex asked, still staring all skeptically. Michael looked back at him.

"I don't like when you bring guys over all the time. I feel like I'm being kicked out of my own house just so you can get laid by some guy with no standards,” Michael told him. He watched hurt settle into Alex’s pretty features and he wanted to take whatever he said that caused it back, but he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to. He did want Alex to stop being so ridiculous with the people he brought over.

“No standards, huh?” Alex asked.

“Is that all you got from what I said?” Michael scoffed, shaking his head, “Look, I’m just tired of seeing you with guys, Alex.”

“You’ve made out with girls in front of me,” Alex shot back, “Like, if I remember correctly, that was half of high school. Why can’t I have fun?”

“You can, I’m not saying you can, I just don’t want to see or hear it,” Michael said. Alex stared at him for a few seconds too long all the way up until tears started brimming his eyes and he looked away.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll stop,” Alex said, quickly walking towards his room.

Before Michael could even think about what he was doing, he reached out and grabbed Alex’s arm to keep him from going to hide.

“Why are you upset? I’m just asking for you to be considerate that you don’t live alone,” Michael told him. Alex turned to face him, anger etched onto his eyebrows.

“You know what I’m hearing? I’m hearing you say that you’re fine with me being gay as long as you don’t have to see it, the same fucking bullshit homophobes say. I thought you were my friend.”

“I am your friend, doesn’t mean I wanna hear you sleeping with someone else!”

Alex scoffed, “Someone else? What do you mean, someone else? What, you’re cool with hearing me having sex as long as it’s with myself? That’s fucking weird, Guerin.”

“No!” he groaned, pulling his hands to himself and pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. Again, he was forced to think about the other part of Isobel’s statement. He could hear her voice, hear her mocking him about his stupid fucking Freudian slip. “I-I’m confused.”

Alex stayed for a long moment, giving Michael ample time to explain himself. Except he didn’t fucking know how. He didn't know anything.

"Confused about what?" Alex asked softly. Michael sucked in a deep breath as he thought about it. What was he jealous of?

"Isobel said I sounded jealous," Michael admitted. Again, silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Jealous of what?" he asked. Michael breathed, keeping it as controlled as humanly possible. "Jealous of what, Guerin?"

“I don’t know! She just told me a few minutes ago!” Michael said, his words coming out a sheer whine. He managed to pull his hands away from his eyes just to see Alex staring at him like he was fragile. He wasn’t. Was he? “I don’t know. I just know I hate seeing you with guys and I didn’t used to hate it. I used to be happy for you. Now... I feel sick.”

Alex gulped so hard Michael could see it. Then he looked at Michael, really looked at him, fixing him with a simple look.

“Okay. I think we should both sleep on this new information and then talk about it tomorrow. You need to at least get somewhere on your own that I can work with. I can’t... I can’t, like, force you to know what you’re feeling. You need to find a way to articulate it, okay?” Alex told him. Michael nodded.

Alex took a step forward, giving him a hug goodnight before slipping back into his bedroom. Michael went to his own room, feeling more drained than ever as he crawled into bed.

He laid there for hours, tossing and turning and thinking. By the time morning came, he was exhausted even more, but he knew one thing.

He was absolutely in love with Alex Manes.

[fatherlyssa]

QUARANTINED

summary; you and ethan are stuck in quarantine for 24 hours. alone.

word count: 2k

warnings: alcohol use

“okay, i’ll be leaving kyle’s in like twenty minutes and i’ll meet you at the house?”

that was the last thing you heard from your best-friend, grayson. but now you sat in the living room of his house, thirty minutes later, with no grayson. you weren’t too worried about it at first. figured he was just driving slow or that you had driven a bit too fast through the curvy hills.

you weren’t worried at all until the headline on the afternoon news read, ‘ALL OF CALIFORNIA UNDER LOCKDOWN’ in bright red letters. your eyes widened and you listened intently to the blonde haired lady with way too much contour on.

“all of california has been forced under a mandatory lockdown for the next 24-hours. all civilians are to stay in their homes and are not allowed to leave u less they have government issued papers that say they are allowed to.”

was grayson going to be stuck at kyle’s now? were you going to be stuck at grayson’s?

“oh fuck no,” you thought to yourself as you stood up from the couch and took your phone out of your back pocket. you dialed grayson’s number and placed the phone to your ear.

it rang for a couple of seconds before he picked up, “i’m guessing you just saw the news too?”

“yeah, i did. are you stuck at kyle’s?” you asked in an urgent tone, praying he’d say no and that he was pulling into the driveway.

there was no way you could be stuck here, alone, with him.

“yeah, i am. i’m sorry y/n.”

the groan that fell from your lips made you close your eyes and let your head fall back, “grayson, i can’t be stuck here with ethan. he hates me. he’s gonna like smother me in my sleep or something.”

ethan had always disliked you. for some unknown reason that you couldn’t get from grayson. you and grayson had been best-friends for over five years now and none of those years had ethan bothered to even try and act like he liked you. at this point he didn’t even bother acknowledging you.

“no he won’t, y/n. he’s not even capable of killing someone. you’ll be fine. there’s plenty of food in the kitchen and you know you can sleep in my room if you want.”

grayson tried to calm you down for the next five minutes and what he was saying helped a little bit, but there was still an anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach that wouldn’t go away. you ended the call with grayson and let out a heavy sigh.

“you really think i would try and murder you in your sleep?”

your heart nearly jumped out of your chest and ran down the roaring hills that were in their backyard. you turned on your heels and saw him standing there, his arms crossed over his bare chest in a relaxed position.

“i-“ you stammered before he let out a dry chuckle.

“i wouldn’t waste my energy.” he turned around and headed into the kitchen without another word.

your lips parted in shock. you couldn’t deny the comment kind of hurt. it should have calmed you down, but it didn’t one bit.

that’s it. i’ve had enough of this shit.

with all the courage and confidence you had in your body you followed behind him into the kitchen, putting your hands on your hips. he stood in front of the open fridge, bent at the hips searching for something.

“i don’t know what your problem is or why you hate me so much, but for the next 24 hours we need to at least try and get along for once. i don’t want to be stuck in this house with you as much as you don’t want to be stuck with me.”

you were proud for a moment for standing up for yourself. that was until he stood tall in front of you. his eyebrows narrowed at you, examining your face for any faltering in emotion. he towered over your body and as much as you felt intimidated, you didn’t let it show.

“i don’t hate you.” he said, letting his eyes fall down to the floor then back up to meet your eyes.

there was some emotion on his face that you couldn’t quite read. as fast as it had shown through was as fast as it was gone. once again, before you could say anything, he turned and walked away. hopefully heading to his room.

you pulled your phone out and sent a text to grayson.

do you have any alcohol anywhere in this house?

he replied back in seconds saying that cameron had left a bottle of wine in the fridge last time she visited. you pulled out the bottle of red wine and found a glass to pour it in.

this is the only way i’m going to get through the next 24 hours...

the one glass you poured turned into three and now you sat on the couch with the bottle in front of you. the notebook was playing on the flat screen tv and tears were pouring down your face. it was the scene where they had gone to their dream house before it was remodeled the way she wanted it. this scene always made you emotional but so did wine.

footsteps sounded from the hallway and even in your drunken state you wiped the tears away quickly and acted as if nothing happened. you looked up and saw ethan standing in the foyer. his hazel eyes focused on the tv.

“wine and the notebook? how basic..” his tone was almost playful as he let out a chuckle. that chuckle wasn’t dry and harsh. it was full of humor.

“wanna join?” you asked, the alcohol giving you a newly found confidence.

you watched ethan closely as he looked back at you. he shrugged his shoulders and fell down onto the couch next to you. like really close. you had expected him to sit on the other end so he could lay down and be comfortable.

you couldn’t help but stare at his side profile now, watching the next scene illuminated all his features. being around the twins so much, you realized quickly they had a couple different features. ethan’s lips always looked more pouty than grayson’s did. his eyebrows were always kept in a furrow which made him look mysterious.

“stop staring at me.” his deep voice made you jump slightly. he leaned up and grabbed the bottle of wine and leaned back. he poured more wine into the cup that was still clenched in your hand and then sat the bottle back on the table.

he took the cup from your hand and took a sip, his face scrunching up in disgust.

“you pussy.” you giggled watching him instead of the movie. “give me my wine back.” you said in a pouty voice as you leaned over and grabbed the cup back from him.

in your younger teenage years, you spent most of the time at parties. most alcohol now never made you grimace or shudder. you had been told by many of your friends you drank like a sailor and had a tolerance like one too.

you chugged the full glass right in front of ethan and then placed the glass on the coffee table in front of you.

“that stuff is disgusting.” he said, his eyes still watching you. “i’ll show you what i drink. come here.”

he stood up from the couch and outstretched his hand to you, pulling you to your feet. you followed closely behind him where he led you to his bedroom.

you had never seen his bedroom before, nor had you ever spoken to him this much. all of this had just hit you like a wrecking ball. leaving you even more confused than before. you didn’t let it bother you for too long as you watched him pull out a bottle of whiskey. it was a high class whiskey that you had never seen before. probably because you were too middle class with your alcohol choices. what ever was on sale was what went home with you.

“here, take a sip.” he handed the bottle over to you.

with no hesitation, you pressed the cold glass to your lips and took a sip. it ran through your body with a tingle and made a drunken giggle fall from your lips as you handed it back to him.

“that’s good shit.” you smiled as you watched him take a sip. “can i sit on your bed?” you asked him.

“yes mam.”

the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, passing the brown liquor back and forth. you weren’t sure how much time had passed by before ethan spoke up.

“i was jealous.” he said making you look at him in confusion. he had laid down on his back and was staring at the ceiling, his toned arms propped up behind his head.

“of?” you questioned, placing the whiskey bottle on the floor in front of the bed. half of it had been drank just from the two of you sitting here.

you were surely feeling it, but you weren’t completely drunk yet. you eventually would be if you kept drinking it tho.

“you and grayson. your relationship.” he sat up and turned to face you slightly. “do you want some clothes to change into? those jeans aren’t gonna be comfortable to sleep in.” he changed the subject, pointing to the black skinny jeans that basically painted to your body.

“i’ll go get something of grayson’s.” you said, standing to your feet.

“no,” he stood in front you. his hand placed on your stomach to keep you from moving. “i’ll give you something of mine.” his voice was demanding and almost scared you.

you nodded and watched as he walked over to his closet, pulling out a pair of black sweatpants and a large white t-shirt. he handed them to you and said he’d walk out so you could change.

still in confusion, you changed into the clothes and folded yours up neatly and placed them in the black desk chair next to you. you let him know you were done changing and he walked back in and fell down into the same position as before.

“grayson and i are just friends. you know that right?” you told him as you rested yourself on one elbow still facing him.

“i know.” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. “you guys got close so fast. like you two were destined to be friends with each other. you took my brother from me. but that wasn’t what bothered me the most. it was seeing him make you laugh until you were crying and him making you blush so easy. i knew you’d never be like that with me.”

his words had your heart pounding in your throat. what were you supposed to say to that? how was anyone supposed to respond to that?

“you never tried. you always acted like you hated me and never wanted me around.” you finally found the courage to speak up.

he chuckled lowly and closed his eyes, running a hand through his hair, “because i figured if i pushed you away i wouldn’t want you so bad, but god that did the complete opposite.”

he said the statement with such ease. effortlessly.

“you want me?” you questioned almost in a whisper.

you were worried he hadn’t heard you until he finally turned to face you. his eyes gazing into yours fully. you felt like he was looking into your soul and finding out every secret kept inside your mind.

“always have.”

[agent-yolk-writes]

Friends Like You and Us - Venom!Reader - Ch. 6

I really gotta post this after I updated it on AO3 goddamn

In today’s episode: The gang puts too much thought into planning, you have terrible codenames, and you wonder if the circus is in town.

Don’t forget to reblog so others can see it! If you want something featured, don’t be afraid to drop an ask. We’re almost around the halfway point and it’s all downhill from here. Get your thoughts in now or forever hold your peace,

AO3 Version | Masterlist (TBD)

After scrambling to figure out a plan and translating interdimensional slang, the plan goes as follows:

1. You enter the building with Ham in a backpack. Peni has hooked all of you guys with little telecommunicators that can fit into your ear. They look like they can be passed off as the cool new earbuds you’ve seen your classmates wearing.

1a. Peni, SP//dr, and Noir will be outside as backup should anything happen along the way.

2. Get through the guards by showing your ID, which indicates a trusted employee of the building, Mary, has granted an outsider, you, permission to enter the building and their individual office. That’s it, that’s your only access.

3. While you do what your aunt asked you, Ham goes in the vents and finds a way into the Alchemax section upstairs. There he’ll find anything that could help figure out what happened to Spider-Man.

From there, depending on the situation, it could go two ways.

4a. Ham retraces his footsteps in the vents and gets back to your aunt’s office.

4b. If Ham needs to be recovered, you’ll “accidentally” stumble into Alchemax, claim you’re trying to find the bathroom, to retrieve Ham and any data he managed to recover.

5. Leave without raising any suspicions, if possible.

A simple plan in five or so steps. You’re taking the usual subway route to her office with Ham squished inside your mini backpack. It’s uncertain what Peni and Noir are doing above ground, but you could imagine them hopping between buildings in a cool montage like that cool cartoon of those ninja lizards. Thankfully this cart was almost packed to the brim, so no one can see, Ham included, tendrils wrapping around your hand and giving a comforting squeeze as if someone was actually holding your hand.

You got this. We believe in you.

I...I dunno. It sounded too easy in my apartment.

We can handle anything that comes our way.

“I sure hope so.” You muttered, glancing at the people close by to see if they’re looking at you. Swinging your bag around so it’s hanging in the front, you subtly zipped open the bag to look at the cartoony companion. At the sign of first light, he hisses at the sudden stimulation by squinting his eyes for a few seconds.

“Are we there yet?” He asks, a bit bored.

You glanced over at the display showing how many stops are left. “Not for another stop or so. How are you feeling in there?”

Ham sighs at the response. “I knew I should’ve brought something to read.” He pulls out a sleeping mask and puts it over his eyes.

“It’s either this or waste SP//dr’s fuel but doing about three trips back and forth.” You could feel some glances over your way, so you lower your voice a bit. “Anyone with a phone is going to post it on Twitter and we really don’t want that. Especially if it’s going to be on Insider Edition tonight.”

Your communicator buzzes to life, even with all the concrete around you.

“Actually, it’s powered by the psychic link between me and my spider friend in the suit.” Peni corrected you.

“There’s a spider...in the suit?” You said with genuine surprise.

“Hey now, you didn’t ask.” Well, she has a point there. “Oh heads up, here comes your stop.” As if on cue, the overhead speaker announces your stop. It doesn’t help your heart kicking up a notch in anticipation. A thousand scenarios are running through your head as you tried not to give Ham a whiplash putting your bag in its proper place. You even straighten out your blouse as you exited the subway train. Despite only being bonded for a week, it felt strange wearing clothes outside of your symbiote. All there’s left is to pray to your not-so empty head that everything can and will go right for a simple infiltration.

~

“This is Black Spider. I’m in position.”

“Spider Pig here. Let’s get this show running.”

“Mecha Spider is ready when you are!”

“This is Classic Spider, cruising for a bruising on the bench.”

…

You should’ve opposed to using codenames. This is an in and out, not an actual heist. If anything, you could’ve at least used different spiders to call each other by. It’d make sense if you refer to yourself as, for example, Black Widow rather than Black Spider. In the end, it’s all apples to pears.

Taking a deep breath, you pulled on the ID card you knew was on you just to make sure it's really there. It doesn’t go bad for another year, so they can’t stop you by saying it’s expired. If one of your aunt’s coworkers spotted you, then the suspicious glares from security will weaken. They swap floors every six months or so for security purposes. You haven’t been in the building proper since...ten months ago. Hopefully, that retired Sergeant got mobilized to the main floor. If he got moved to Alchemax, then you’ll have to pray for Ham’s safety-

Said spider-pig poked his head out. “What about my safety?”

“Nothing.” With Venom’s help, your arm pushed your smuggled package back into your back of the cramped bag. With Venom’s sixth sense you can almost feel Peni and Noir staring down from the roof of a neighboring building. “Let’s go.” With a shaky step, you begin your ascent up the stairs and entered the revolving door.

To your left, you see the guest desks and the CCTVs in an open room behind the woman at the desk. She had her head down, so she’s probably on her phone. Directly in front of you is the series of elevators being guarded by a single security guard, a glorified elevator worker if anything. You vaguely remember him, but it might not be the same vice versa. Through the handful of people coming in and out, you make your move to the first elevator open.

Your aunt’s workplace is one of the higher floors, so it’s going to be a while in this metal death trap. It became empty quicker than you expected, not that you don’t mind.

“What’s your status Black Spider, Spider Pig?” Peni said through the communicator.

“Entering the building was a success, no complications so far.” You whispered back. You try not to stare at the camera you know is staring at you in the corner. ”Pretty much going to be a smooth ride up.” Was the last thing you said before said smooth ride came to a halt at a different floor.

Oh no, someone else is coming up.

If you don’t make eye contact and shuffle to the side, maybe they won’t-

“Oh look, it’s you.” Oh no, it’s her.

You forced your eyes to look at one and only Stacy Adams from your school. She’s a senior, just a year above you. She’s one of the most popular people in your school and like every high school movie out there, she thinks she’s the queen of the institution. The only reason she could be here is that senior intern experience your school offers where seniors spend three of the five day school week learning. To your chagrin, it looks like today is one of those days.

She hates your guts for some reason. You couldn’t recall what you did to piss her off. Maybe she got jealous of you a guy that just so happens to be a friend of your friend. You did, however, ate her boyfriend aka the top varsity football player bound for Ohio State, so there’s that. In your defense, he attacked you.

We should eat her as well.

Shush, you.

You eyed the security camera in the corner.

Not yet.

“Hey, Stacy...weird meeting you here, huh?” You mustered up whatever you can to pretend you’re happy to see her.

“It’s weird meeting you here.” She shoots back. “Should I report you for skipping school to trespass?”

“Unlike your daddy’s money, I actually know people here.” You replied before you could process it. So much for putting up a fake front.

Stacy, of course, wasn’t having it. “You don’t need to know people if they’re hiring a fucking clown.”

“A fucking clown? Oh wait, is that who you’re seeing after Kyle basically ghosted you? Wooow Stacy, how faithfu-“ You didn’t get a chance to finish it when a handmade sharp contact with your cheek. You weren’t sure if the sting was from the palm or the sharp nails she raked across your skin for extra damage.

Your heart was beating so loud in your ears. Whether it was Venom’s boiling rage or your own, it almost affected the next step you were about to do. If it wasn’t for Peni bringing you back to Earth with, “-ck Spider, is everything alright in there?” in your ear, you would be deep in bloodshed.

Instead, you calmly removed your earpiece and stuffed it into your bag. You hope she notices the unhuman bend of your arm.

“Look, I don’t have time for you.” You said lowly, voice borderline a growl. “I’m going to do my thing, you’re gonna do your thing, and then you’ll continue to pop your gum loudly every time I even blink in your direction. Got it?”

Stacy stares at you like you grew two heads on the spot. Your cheek tickles a bit as Venom heals the scratch marks.

She started sputtering some nonsense to try and get something in before the elevator finally slowed down to your aunt’s floor. Time to finally get out of this cramped box.

But first…

As you took a step out of the elevator, you couldn’t help but turn around to face her one last time.

“Oh, by the way…” You said with a growing devious grin. “Kyle’s brain was absolutely delicious.” Venom couldn’t help but join in at the last second, but it got the results that you wanted. Stacy tried charging at you but the closing doors were quicker. You could hear her banging at the door all the way up. Ah, you’ll remember the face she made. You wonder if her boyfriend had that same expression.

~

Ham decided to pop his head out once you used your aunt’s card to get into the bathroom. He had a sponge lodged into his ears that managed to take out by pulling it out of one ear with a comical pop. You’re too

“Geez, took you long enough. Thought the catfight was gonna take foreeeever.” He complained.

“Well sorry for having enemies, I guess.” You replied as you readjusted your communicator. “This is Black Spider. Um...Sorry that I went AWOL there. Bumped into a rather unpleasant classmate of mine in the elevator.”

“About time! Thought about going in there thinking you croaked.” Noir’s voice crackled through his mic.

“Weren’t you able to hear anything from Ham’s mic?”

Peni answered your question with, “The microphone is designed to cancel out any background noise so whoever’s talking into it can be heard. You’ll never find anything better for noise cancellation!”

The wonders of the future could not be thanked enough.

You pushed Ham’s head back in the bag at the sound of the bathroom door unlocking for someone else. This is your cue to leave and head to your aunt’s office.

The first phase of the plan is now successful. Now that the second part is about to be achieved, you’re looking forward to the idea of getting away without being caught. Well, you almost did, but that doesn’t count in your books.

It should be smooth sailing from here, right?

...Right?

[hannah-writes]

we are such things as dreams are made of

I missed WIP wednesday, technically, but here. Since I haven’t written anything for a while, here’s a WIP that’s been languishing in my gdocs for months. Definitely AU. Definitely.

Everything Alex had ever read about magic told him one thing: it was better with a partner. Casting with someone else, someone of the opposite gender, was an experience unlike anything else. Magic is in his bones, he knows it. It had been in his mom's too - his snatched memories of her had her shining with a radiant light he'd never seen replicated in anyone else, the way she could soothe his aches with a touch of her fingers and a brush of her lips against his forehead. But magic... Magic is a rare gift. Alex's soul is made of intangible starlight, whispers of the ethereal that allow him to do things that should be impossible. 

When his mom left he was ten. He didn't realise that he was magic until one summer with Kyle, they were building a treehouse and Kyle hit his thumb with the hammer. Distracted by the pain, he'd tripped over himself and fallen, hand landing on an upturned nail which went right through his palm. Alex had run his fingers over the skin after the nail had been removed and they watched the ragged edges of his palm stitch together. Jesse Manes beat him the next summer, tried to stomp down the sparks of otherworldliness that ran through Alex's blood right after dragging him to the Registration centre in Santa Fe where he got his name and Manifestation stuck into a database. 

It doesn’t stop him. The jealous jibes from his siblings - that fade as they move to follow their father’s footsteps into various branches of the Armed Forces - and the regular beatings from the man who contributed to giving him life aren’t enough to stop him from Casting. He Casts like he plays, music and magic inextricably linked in his mind, the strumming of his plectrum over guitar strings and the positioning of his fingers on the fretboard helping his mind calm and letting the power flow through him. When his fingers move in small, practised spells, he watches a campfire dance, he watches things move through the force of his will. He never tests his potential, only doing enough to piss his father off to show him that Alex’s gift wasn’t his. It had nothing to do with him.

When his father catches him watching Kyle, flush high on his cheeks, the defensive magic that he’s learned for just this situation fails him, his shield dissipates in a firework of shattered slivers of Will that dissolve around him as Jesse Manes’ creative torture techniques hit their mark. Bloodied and battered and bruised, Alex never heals himself; the pain he feels is worth the brief respite he gets from the brutality of living under his father’s roof. He tells himself one day he’ll leave, he’ll graduate high school and move to LA. He’ll become a musician, weave melodies like Casts. He tells himself one day he’ll watch the light flowing from his fingers like liquid gold and he won’t feel ashamed. He won’t feel the sallow shuddering ache of his father’s words and hatred crawling across his skin like a Refraction. One day he’ll be free.

***

The first time he sees Michael Guerin, wild curls and sharp features, something inside of him feels incandescent. The world flares in ripples of magic that ache to be nearer to him, to respond to the subtle pulse of power pouring from the other teen. He’s lanky and angry, tied by an invisible string to the Evans twins and carries a chip on his shoulder that Alex can feel whenever he looks at an authority figure. Michael’s magic is soft and broken but it’s there. Alex can <i>feel</i> it. And it’s a gravity well that pulls him in.

The Evans twins have their own kind of magic. It pulses and passes between them but Alex has always felt like it was Empty, like a part of them was missing. They never Cast, their echoes are small and stronger when they’re together. Alex has always had a radial awareness of them, felt them tugging on the edges of his consciousness and he wonders if they can sense him. Sometimes, even those without the Gift can sense Alex. It pours out of every part of his soul and sometimes reacts instinctively to the way that Alex is pushed around. The thread of mischief that’s buried deep within Alex creeps out sometimes; Kyle pushes him against the lockers too hard - somewhere stuck between being jealous of Alex’s Gift and afraid of being thought of as gay - and Alex’s fingers cross and uncross twice, resulting in Kyle’s shoelaces tying themselves together in math class. Sometimes the water in the locker room will drop temperature sharply after he’s been rat-tailed by one of Kyle’s asshole jock friends, the icy chill of freezing water a balm against the lingering sting against Alex’s skin as the rough-and-tumble jocks all shriek and screech and complain.

When Michael comes to the school and settles in, together with the Evans siblings, but also entirely separate, Alex feels their magic flowing like a three-way filter. Energy passes between them and when Alex concentrates he can see it, astral beauty and cosmic radiance that makes him think of those clear nights in the desert when he can look up and see the Milky Way painting the sky, stretched and staining the stars overhead, a benevolent window into the unknown. He’s caught watching them on more than one occasion, eyes glazed as he tracks the power that rolls between them, stretching with distance but never breaking. He wonders what it is that they can do, how their Gift manifests. He’s never seen them Cast, or even felt it. He’s attuned enough to the shifting energies of the town that he can feel when Maria or Mimi do a Read. It thrums through the air like a soft caress along Alex’s jaw and down his spine; a warm touch of homesafehome.

Liz nudges him in the side playfully, chewing on a Red Vine and watching Alex watching them. Watching him. Alex can always pinpoint the Evans twins in a crowd by their nature; they stand out like he does. But Michael… Michael is a lighthouse beaming and bright and brilliant. Alex has seen him scrawling ahead in physics and calculus, an absolute genius behind the attitude and carefully crafted cockiness that keeps everyone but the Evans twins away. Alex wants to gently push against those walls he can see, prod and poke and find a crack that he can slip in and learn the guy behind the attitude. He wants to see Michael trusting in him. He wants to see Michael Cast. He wants to be there when magic wraps around them, blazing and burning, roaring in the space between and shuddering to a crescendo that he knows would be unlike anything else.

But he doesn’t know how. Michael doesn’t look at him and if it’s not Max or Isobel he isn’t even the slightest bit interested. Everything Alex has ever been able to find about magic, about Casting, about how to find out his Static, has been in battered old books and in dark corners of the internet where fact meets conspiracy theory. No one wanted to teach him anything, even if they could Alex wasn’t sure that it would help. Most people could hardly Cast outside of their Static, not without having some serious firepower behind them. 

But Alex… Alex has always been Different.

[flintsjohn]

courtesy of my chats with @villanellve, have some snippets of alex dating and living his best gay life, and michael being possibly the lamest, most oblivious and pining idiot in history. the last five minutes of the finale have been cancelled in this, i don’t care.

“Wait, wait, back up a second,” Liz waves her drink at Alex, interrupting him, “Go back to the first one.”

Alex sighs, eyes closing for a second. He ignores the snicker coming from Maria and starts listing off again, counting on his fingers. “There are two main categories, bears and twinks. Bears are usually also divided into-“

“What are you guys talking about?” Alex freezes at Michael’s voice, shaking his head once at Liz and Maria to signal for them to shut up.

Of course, Liz ignores him outright and scoots over in the booth so Michael can sit. “Alex is teaching us about gay culture.”

“Oh, is he?” Michael smirks, head tilting to the side. Alex glares at him.

“Yup,” Liz says, turning back to Alex, “So which type do you fit in?”

“Oh he’s a twink,” Michael says before Alex can even open his mouth.

“You’re a twink!” Alex can’t help himself. It comes out way too loudly and startles Maria and Liz into a bout of laughter. Michael simply arches an eyebrow at him, thoroughly unimpressed, and gives him a self-satisfied smirk when Alex blushes under the attention.

“Whatever,” he says after a second, pushing Maria out of the booth so he can get out. “I have a date to get to.”

He waves at them and Michael stares after him as he walks out of the bar. “Another?” The word is out of his mouth before he can think better of it.

Liz shrugs. “He’s- how did he put it?”

“Living his best gay life,” Maria fills in. There’s a knowing look on her face as she studies Michael that makes him shift uncomfortably. Things have been going well between them after they both agreed to call it quits. Their relationship had been short lived, but fun and easy, and they still enjoy each other’s company as often as they can. All in all, Michael knows he can’t complain. Still, she knows him way too well.

“Right,” he says after a second, clearing his throat. Both Liz and Maria have been very enthusiastic about recounting Alex’s numerous dates as of late. Michael just bites down on his tongue and lets them ramble and pick apart the latest flame, because that’s apparently how best friends work. He rarely contributes, even when they ask his opinion as only other queer guy in their friend group. He knows better than to get himself involved in speculation over Alex’s love life.

*

“Alex, hey, I forgot to ask- how did it go with Mark?” Michael looks up from his beer to follow the conversation. Kyle is currently looking expectantly at a dumbfounded Alex.

“Who’s- Ah, right.” Alex flushes a little at Kyle’s pointedly raised eyebrows. “He was alright, I guess. Last week’s news, though.”

Michael suddenly becomes very interested in the list of ingredients on his beer. It’s not that he’s not happy for Alex and his new found sexual prowess, per se. A big part of him is proud of him for having gotten there. But another, love sick side of him, the one that whispers in his ear at night after he’s back in his airstream after watching Alex walk away with his nightly hook up, wishes that that could be him. He’s not, and he can’t, because he was too late and Alex has moved on, as he deserves.

“What’s up with you?” Kyle asks after he’s been silent for a while. Michael focuses back on the table only to see that Alex has moved to the bar, where some guy is whispering in his ear and making him laugh, head thrown back. Michael frowns.

“Nothing.”

“Guerin.”

Michael groans and lets his head drop on the table with a thud. He doesn’t know exactly when Kyle became someone he trusted enough to rant to about his love life, but apparently that’s where his life’s at.

“You can just say you’re jealous, you know. We all know, anyway.”

Michael snaps his head up and sputters, “Wha- I’m not- That’s not- I’m not jealous! And, frankly, who’s saying that you’re not jealous, hm? You’ve been spending an awful lot of time together and- and- Yeah, maybe it’s you who’s jealous, actually. Checkmate, Valenti.”

Kyle levels him with the most unimpressed stare Michael’s ever being on the receiving end of, and he’s friends with Maria DeLuca. “Sure, whatever you say, Guerin.” He gets a pat on the shoulder and then Kyle is off, leaving Michael to stare mournfully at the spot where Alex has just disappeared from with the new guy.

*

“Dude, I’m telling you, it was amazing.”

Michael looks up in confusion, giving the table a cursory glance. No one of his friends is paying him or the guy next to him any attention, so he guesses it’s him the guy is talking to. “Uh, who are you again?”

“John.”

“Right,” Michael drawls, going right back to his beer. Alex’s latest conquest. This one’s lasted a couple of nights, apparently, because otherwise the guy wouldn’t bother talking to him. He doesn’t remember being introduced, but he’s found that not focusing too hard on the faces of the men circling Alex these days is what helps most.

“He did this thing, with his tongue, I swear-“

Michael flinches at that and mutters around the rim of his beer bottle, “Oh, I remember the thing.”

The guy – John, his mind supplies helpfully – gives him a look that translates into aren’t you two friends though, to which Michael shrugs. He’s not about to explain their whole history to someone who’ll last no more than a week on Alex’s arm. He just ignores the guy until he eventually leaves him alone to his moping.

*

“So, Liz and I were thinking of maybe trying to ask Max to check on my mom, you know- hey, are you listening to me?”

“Uh? Yeah, of course,” Michael nods along to what Maria is saying, but his eyes are fixed on the door, where Alex has just walked in, hand in the back pocket of some handsome stranger.

“God, you really need to get over that.”

“Hm? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He swivels on his stool to face her, though thanks to the mirror hanging behind Maria he can still see the booth where Alex sits.

“You’re pathetic.” Maria swats at him with the rag she’s using to dry glasses and ignores his pout. “Just talk to him, jeez.”

“Yeah, see, that’s kinda where the problem lies.” Maria rolls her eyes at him and goes back to clearing glasses off the counter.

“You’re not subtle, Guerin,” she says after a moment, “Literally everyone knows how you feel but Alex, because he’s oblivious and busy trying to fuck his way through all of Roswell, and you’re too stubborn and chicken shit to say anything.”

He frowns at her but it doesn’t deter her. She points a finger at him, which makes him gulp. “Get. Your shit. Together. I’m done watching you pine. Ah!” She raises her hand when he opens his mouth to interject, “Nope. First chance you get, you’re telling him.”

She gives him one last look and moves on to other patrons, leaving him to stare sadly into the mirror to follow Alex’s date. He’s apparently graduated from town slut to town creeper. Fantastic.

*

“And then, I swear to God, he spanked me.” Alex tells the story with his hands more than with his words, gesturing wildly. Michael never wants to take his eyes off of him, but at the same time his brain is supplying the wrong images and he’s finding it increasingly harder to concentrate. He clears his throat, unable to keep looking.

“That’s- um. How was it?” He tries, wincing at his own lame attempt at conversation. He’s trying hard, he swears, to be a good friend for Alex, but it’s a little hard when the man he’s in love with has suddenly grown comfortable in recounting his sexual escapades to him.

“I didn’t hate it.” Alex gives him a dirty smirk that makes Michael’s entire body flush. That’s – nice to know, he guesses. It’s cool, really, that Alex has grown out of his shame. Not that Michael expected the enthusiasm, or that he can handle the numerous flirty lines Alex slips in there with more and more frequence.

“So, how’s it going with Maria?” Alex asks. The change of topic almost gives Michael whiplash, not to mention Alex’s purposefully casual tone.

“Oh, um. We broke up, like a month ago.”

“What?” Alex sits up straighter, beer forgotten to the side.

“Yeah, we’re better as friends anyway. We’re good.”

“Oh.” Alex frowns. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Michael opens and closes his mouth around at least three answers, before finally settling on, “You were a little busy.”

That makes Alex blush, but he doesn’t latch on the bait. “We see each other every two days, you could’ve mentioned it.”

“I-“ Michael starts. He shifts, thumbnail fidgeting with the label of his beer. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Michael,” Alex says, admonishingly.

“Look, it’s cool, ok? I’m good, and you’re doing great, apparently, with all these dates. We don’t have to discuss me.”

“Yes, we do.” Alex sighs after a second, hand reaching across the table to catch Michael’s. “We’re friends. And friends share life updates. This isn’t a one-sided conversation.”

Michael looks into Alex’s eyes, finally, and swallows before whispering, “What if I don’t want to be friends anymore?”

Alex’s hand retreats immediately, hurt flashing across his features, but Michael is quick to grab it right back. “I mean- shit, sorry. I meant just friends.”

Alex looks at him, clearly uncertain, so Michael takes a deep breath and soldiers on, “I don’t want to hear about all your one night stands. Not because I don’t care about your life, but because I’m jealous,” he hears Alex inhale sharply at that, but he doesn’t stop, “I’m jealous of whoever gets to kiss you, and hold your hand, and dance with you, and f-“ He snaps his mouth shut, eyes falling to his hands still clutching Alex’s.

“I’ve been such an idiot, Alex. I thought that because of all the shit we’d been through, that loving you and being with you wasn’t worth the pain. But it was, it is.”

Alex licks his lips and shifts so his head his closer to Michael’s. “What are you saying, Guerin?”

“I’m saying I want to be with you. I want to take you out and introduce you as my boyfriend, I want to overshare about our sex life just to make our friends uncomfortable. I want to kiss you, and hold you, and make love to you, and fall asleep next to you.”

“Yeah?” Alex’s voice comes out a little choked, but he’s smiling widely.

“Yeah.” Michael nods, squeezing Alex’s fingers in his own. “So what do you say?”

[ladybanshee19]

An Ancient Rivalry Update

So I’ve finished writing up the character sheets for my Forgotten Realms 5e AU.

I don’t want to share them until I get the drawings finished. However I feel I can give you a sneak peak of what to expect. I’ll list their race, class, class specialty, alignment and backstory, as well as a few notes explaining my thoughts behind my decisions.

Eric Cartman Race: Human (Illuskan) Class: Wizard Class Specialty: War Mage Tradition Alignment: Neutral Evil Backstory: Wizard Prince Eric was born to Grand Witch Liane Cartman in the city-state of Kupa Keep in the Greypeak Mountains. Liane never married and as such, no one knows who Eric's father is. Regardless, Liane spoiled Eric rotten, always giving into his wants and giving him anything he wanted, even after taking in the half-orc Kenny McCormick into her home. Because he was never disciplined, Eric developed a massive ego and an insatiable thirst for attention, as well as the determination to get that attention by any means necessary. One day his mother took him to the High Forest where a meeting was held with Sylvan Lord Gerald and Verdant Lady Sheila Broflovski of the wood elf tribe of Larnion. There he met their son, Sylvan Inheritor Kyle and Eric proceeded to spew all manner of racist drivel to Kyle who eventually snapped and hit him hard in retaliation. Liane decided that would be the perfect time to leave and took Eric home with her. Once home, Eric convinced his mother to declare war on Larnion, saying that it would be the best course of action for Kupa Keep. She believed him and did so, however the first battle claimed not just her life, but the lives of the Sylvan Lord and Verdant Lady, leaving Eric and Kyle to lead their respective peoples. Still angry at Kyle for humiliating him, Eric vowed to wipe out all of Larnion, if it was the last thing he did.

Notes: In SOT Cartman is unusually tanky for a wizard, as is reflected in the War Mage tradition which not only boosts the power of spells but grants magical protection, Likewise, based on what I’ve seen in the show, Cartman comes across as a Neutral Evil character, someone who looks out for only their interests often at the expense of others.

Stan Marshwalker Race: Human (Illuskan) Class: Ranger Class Specialty: Beast Conclave Alignment: Chaotic Good Backstory: Stan was born into the Marshwalker tribe, a tribe of human rangers and druids who frequently migrated between the High Forest and the Marsh of Chelimber. Their dedication to protecting nature put them in the good graces of the elves of the High Forest and the two groups had an informal alliance. One day, however, a mysterious illness wiped out all the Marshwalkers, all but one, a baby boy who was found by a wood elf ranger of the Larnion tribe. The ranger, Sariel Meliamne, decided to raise him herself and somehow managed to get the Sylvan Lord Gerald and Verdant Lady Sheila's blessing to do so. Stan always felt out of place among the Larnion elves and the fact that none of them were willing to be friends with him only made things worse. However, Stan managed to find a friend in the last person he expected to, the Sylvan Lord and Verdant Lady's son, Sylvan Inheritor Kyle. Stan was surprised to find that Kyle also felt like an outcast among the others and the two became best friends. It certainly helped that Sariel was frequently the one chosen to watch Kyle whenever his parents had to leave for another one of the Red Lady's meetings. As the two grew older, they became more and more inseparable with Stan eventually becoming Kyle's vassal. However, things around home became heated after Kyle and his parents had a confrontation with Grand Witch Liane Cartman of Kupa Keep and her son Wizard Prince Eric with an actual fight breaking out between the two heirs that ended in Kyle's victory. Eric vowed revenge against Kyle that he acted upon after both of them finally became the rulers of their respective societies, by declaring war on the Larnion tribe. In addition to the war, Stan has also been distracted by all manner of thoughts, the most prevalent one being wondering what happed to the rest of the Marshwalkers and trying to come to turns with his growing feelings for his best friend.

Notes: Whenever the boys play their fantasy game, Stan explicitly states that he’s a ranger and in SOT his character’s backstory is that he’s a human raised by elves.

Kyle Broflovski Race: Wood Elf Class: Druid Class Specialty: Circle of Dreams Alignment: Neutral Good Backstory: Kyle was born to Sylvan Lord Gerald and Verdant Lady Sheila Broflovski of the Larnion wood elf tribe. Growing up, Kyle felt alone among his people. The other kids his age were either jealous of his position or so star-struck by it that they failed to see him as an actual person. There was one exception though, Stan Marshwalker, an orphaned human raised by one of the tribe's hunters. The two became close friends and often did everything together. Though while Stan was learning how to hunt and track from his adoptive mother, Kyle was learning about druidic magic and how to run the tribe from his parents. One day, during a visit from Grand Witch Liane Cartman of Kupa Keep, Kyle met her son, Wizard Prince Eric Cartman. In spite of his best efforts to be nice, the Wizard Prince was shown to be a selfish and racist brat and Kyle could only take so much of it before he snapped and not only told off the Prince, but also attacked him and injured him pretty badly. Fortunately, at that time, the Grand Witch decided it was time to leave, but Eric vowed that he would get back at Kyle and the rest of his people for this. Sure enough, by the time Kyle had turned 25 there was a battle between Kupa Keep and Larnion that ended with the deaths of Grand Witch Liane, Sylvan Lord Gerald and Verdant Lady Sheila, leaving Kyle to take up leadership of Larnion while still considered a child by his people's standards. Not satisfied with the last battle, newly crowned Grand Wizard Eric declared that he would wipe out the Larnion tribe if its the last thing he does. 

Notes: Even though the faction in SOT is the Drow Elves of Larnion, I felt that wouldn’t work in the Forgotten Realms for a few reasons. First being that the drow in the Forgotten Realms, and pretty much all DnD campaign settings live underground, rather than the forest that the other boys pretended that Kyle’s backyard was. Hell gameplay-wise, the drow are extremely sensitive to sunlight. Second, the drow in DnD are both evil and matriarchal (try not to think about the implications), and so probably wouldn’t be too keen on taking orders from a man. So I settled on making him a wood elf instead. I picked druid as his class because in SOT several of his battle quotes involve him mentioning nature or things in nature and thematically works to make him a foil to Cartman who’s a wizard. Also, given that in many other games, such as FBW and Phone Destroyer featuring him having a moveset/card theme being more support based (he only has one regular offensive move in FBW and his deck theme, the Mystical Set revolves around healing and energy manipulation) and the druid having access to a lot of healing and support magic makes it work as well. I also wanna bring attention to his age of 25 in this universe. While elves reach physical maturity at the same time humans do, they’re still considered children until they turn 100, so that’s what the line “still considered a child by his people’s standards” is referring to.

Kenny McCormick Race: Half-Orc Class: Fighter Class Specialty: Arcane Archer Archetype Alignment: Chaotic Good Backstory: Kenny was born to Lady Carol McCormick and her secret orc lover Stuart. The two of them were killed by Stuart's tribe but Grand Witch Liane Cartman rescued the baby Kenny and took her into her home. However, while Liane doted on her own son Eric, Kenny was cared for by the palace servants. She was also given a special mask to hide her more orcish features from less accepting people, at the expense of muffling her speech. As she grew, Kenny discovered she had an aptitude for archery and would train extensively while her foster brother Eric studied magic. After Liane died and Eric rose as the new Grand Wizard of Kupa Keep, Kenny watched as he completely ignored the needs of their people in favor of sating his own desires, such as his lingering grudge against Sylvan Lord Kyle of the Larnion wood elf tribe. Behind his back, Kenny sought out the help of brave adventurers in order to save Kupa Keep from its own ruler.

Note: Kenny’s character in SOT is explicitly stated to be a female half-orc so I went with that. Also, given that Kenny’s moveset in SOT has him using a bow and a few magic-like special moves influenced my decision for his class as well.

Butters Stotch Race: Human (Illuskan) Class: Paladin Class Specialty: Oath of Devotion Alignment: Lawful Good Backstory: Butters was born in Kupa Keep to a merchant Stephen and his wife Linda who treated him poorly as a child. When he turned 15 he ran away to join the army in order to get away from his abusive parents. There, he also joined the Church of Ilmater, the god of endurance and learned the ways of the paladin. For a while he served in the army under the leadership of Grand Witch Liane Cartman and his naïveté led him to believe that her bratty and sociopathic son Eric would be a worthy successor. He also caught several glimpses of Witch Princess Kenny, despite the Cartmans' best attempts to keep her a secret. Upon both learning of what Eric plans to do to the wood elf tribe of Larnion and seeing that Eric cared more about this plan than the well-being of his people, Butters faith in the Grand Wizard was completely shattered and, alongside a good friend Token Black, a cleric of the god Lathander, decided to look for help to possibly dethrone the Grand Wizard or at least make him see reason.

Notes: Paladins are traditionally of the Lawful Good alignment, so I gave him that. Also, the reason I chose Ilmater, the god of endurance in the Forgotten realms is that Ilmater values self-sacrifice and is generally considered the patron deity of all who suffer abuse, no matter what that abuse may be, so it seemed thematically appropriate for Butters.

Clyde Donovan Race: Human (Illuskan) Class: Warlock Class Specialty: Pact of the Fiend Alignment: Chaotic Good Backstory: Clyde was born to a cobbler and his wife in Kupa Keep. However, his mother died when he was little and his father blamed him for it and kicked him out of the house for it. Clyde grew up on the streets and had to steal to survive. He would also listen in to hear the latest news from the townsfolk as they went about their daily lives and as such heard all about the growing tensions between Kupa Keep and the wood elf tribe of Larnion who lived in the High Forest not too far from the Greypeak Mountains where Kupa Keep was located. He heard that the latest meeting between Grand Witch Liane Cartman and Larnion's ruling couple: Sylvan Lord Gerald and Verdant Lady Sheila Broflovski ended abruptly when their sons, Wizard Prince Eric and Sylvan Inheritor Kyle got into a scuffle. Not too long after, war finally broke out between the two factions and the first battle ended not just with Kupa Keep's defeat but with the deaths of Liane, Gerald and Sheila, leaving Eric and Kyle respectively to take their places. Afterwards he noticed the toll the fighting and the new Grand Wizard's life of excess was taking on the townspeople and Clyde felt he had to do something. Desperate, he sought out a pact with a pit fiend named Iorworth to gain the power to do so. With his newfound power, Clyde set out to find others in order to save Kupa Keep from its own ruler.

Notes: Originally I was going to make him a fighter, but given that his evil overlord look in SOT featured him messing with forces he couldn’t understand and because I felt I could make things more interesting if I made him something different, I picked warlock. Given that warlocks use Charisma as their primary stat and Clyde was able to rally a bunch of people under his leadership contributed to this version as well.

Craig Tucker Race: Human (Damaran) Class: Rogue Class Specialty: Assassin Archetype Alignment: True Netural Backstory: Craig was born in Kupa Keep to a poorer family. In spite of everything, his parents struggled to make sure he and his younger sister Tricia had their needs taken care of. In order to help them out, Craig took up being a spy for the royal family, specifically as a personal assassin for Wizard Prince Eric Cartman. Here he learned everything he needed to know about infiltration and assassination. Everything he made from his missions went back to his family. However, the more missions he took for them, the more he began to question why Eric had him constantly gather information about the wood elf tribe of Larnion, and give reports on the last known location of the Marshwalker tribe. After an incident involving a barbarian named Tweek that happened on a recon mission in the High Forest and war had broken out between Kupa Keep and Larnion, Eric was crowned as Grand Wizard, which was the final straw for him. Craig left to find others to help get the sociopathic Eric off the throne before more people get hurt. He also hoped to find Tweek and repay him for saving his life, or so he says.

Notes: Backstory-wise, Craig was probably one of the harder characters to figure out, but I think I found something that works. Also he’s True Neutral because Craig seems like the type that while he does care about the people he’s close to and wants to help them, for the most part he just wants to mind his own business and go about things his own way.

Tweek Tweak Race: Human (Illuskan) Class: Barbarian Class Specialty: Path of the Storm Herald Alignment: Chaotic Good Backstory: Tweek was born on the plains on the outskirts of Kupa Keep. His parents didn't pay much attention to him, instead preferring to focus on their shady business dealings and often dismissed his concerns and anxiety as him just being a spaz. Nevertheless, whenever a storm happened near their homestead, Tweek could swear he could feel its raw power coursing through his body. One day, a couple days after his 16th birthday, a group of bandits attacked the homestead and for the first time, Tweek let his anger take complete of him and completely wiped out the bandits. Instead of thanking him for saving their lives, his parents called him a freak and threw Tweek out. Tweek quickly learned to live off the land by himself and had a quiet life for the next few years, while learning to control the power his rage gave him. One day, Tweek noticed a young man about his age had set up camp on the on the outskirts of the High Forest. Sure enough, after he fell asleep, another group of bandits attempted to ambush him and take his things. Not caring how he would react if he woke up, Tweek let his rage take control once again and took out the bandits. The man woke up in the middle of the fighting but waited until Tweek was finished. The main introduced himself as Craig and thanked him for saving him. The two talked for a while before Craig had to leave to report to the royal family of Kupa Keep. Little did they both know that their paths would cross again when war between Kupa Keep and Larnion, a tribe of wood elves broke out.

Notes: Initially I was divided on which specialty to give Tweek. At first, I considered the Path of the Ancestral Guardian, as that gave an ability that could let you have premonitions and whatnot, but the fluff for that path states that it’s used for barbarians from cultures that practice ancestor worship, so I couldn’t think of a way to justify that. Path of the Storm Herald worked out much more nicely than I thought it would since it gives you both ice and lightning abilities. So this Tweek ended up being a hybrid of Wonder Tweek and Barbarian Tweek from SOT, heh.

Token Black Race: Human (Turami) Class: Cleric Class Specialty: Life Domain Alignment: Neutral Good Backstory: Token was born to a wealthy family in Kupa Keep, yet despite their riches they never spoiled him. As he grew up though, Token felt called to another purpose. When he turned 16 he told his parents he wanted to become a cleric and serve the people that way. His parents were surprised at his decision and let him go. He went to the nearby temple of Lathander, the god of dawn and renewal to begin his training. Not long after he completed his training, he was sent by the head cleric to assist the royal family and their servants. Reluctantly, Token obliged and moved into Kupa Castle, the center of the city. There he met Grand Witch Liane Cartman, her blood son Wizard Prince Eric and her adopted daughter, Witch Princess Kenny McCormick, as well as all the servants and other staff, including the spy Craig Tucker and the paladin Butters Stotch. While the Grand Witch and Kenny were nice to him, Eric would constantly belittle him for being a Turami rather than an Illuskan like the rest of the humans in the city. Token usually brushed it off and would also spend his free time talking to both Craig and Butters, where the two of them would share their concerns about the prince's growing sociopathy. It wasn't much long after that war broke out between Kupa Keep and the wood elf tribe of Larnion in the High Forest. When now Grand Wizard Eric vowed to destroy Larnion and Sylvan Lord Kyle even if it brought Kupa Keep to ruin, Token and Butters (Craig was elsewhere for his own reasons) decided to leave and find others to save Kupa Keep from its leader.

Notes: Token in SOT states he’s a healer, but since there isn’t a healer class in 5e, I decided the next best thing was to make him a cleric (a class with the best healing abilities already) and have him specialize in healing. Of course given that in two of the four themes in Phone Destroyer has Token as some sort of spiritual leader (Shaman Token in the Adventure theme and Witch Doctor Token in the Mystical theme) makes this work too.

Jimmy Valmer Race: Moon Elf Class: Bard Class Specialty: College of Lore Alignment: Neutral Good Backstory: Jimmy was born to a nomadic couple in the High Forest. His parents told him stories of the distant lands they visited and taught him the bardic arts. As he grew up, he traveled with his parents to distant lands, telling jokes and stories and making music. One day, after Jimmy had left his parents and turned 225, he stopped in Larnion village as he had been hired to perform in celebration of the birth of Sylvan Lord Gerald and Verdant Lady Sheila Broflovski's son, Sylvan Inheritor Kyle. After hearing about the tension between both the Larnion tribe and the human settlement of Kupa Keep in the Greypeak Mountains, Jimmy decided to stay, feeling he could lend his talents to help them in battle, in diplomacy, or just to help the people relax a little. As the Sylvan Inheritor grew up, Kyle took a liking to Jimmy who occasionally helped watch him when his parents were busy with official business and when Stan’s adoptive mother Sariel (who would usually watch him otherwise) was busy with other things. He also encouraged the close relationship between Kyle and Stan Marshwalker, a human who was taken in by the tribe after his own were mysteriously wiped out. Sometime after Kyle's 25th birthday, war finally broke out between Larnion and Kupa Keep, and among the first casualties were Kyle's parents, leaving Kyle to take over. It was that day Jimmy decided to devote his time to acting as Kyle's advisor, seeing as how Kyle was still a kid and needed all the help he could get.

Note: I should mention that this Jimmy is significantly older than the rest of the cast. While the rest of the cast here are in their early 20s, Jimmy is 250 years old. Really not much else to say here other than given what Jimmy’s abilities in SOT were, as are the abilities of all his cards in Phone Destroyer, that giving him the College of Lore which specializes in spell casting and ability support was obvious.

Let me know what you guys think.