#it feels a bit. selfish.

[lambentplume]

yapping aimlessly tonight

[ineed-to-sleep]

Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops

[nats-uvi]

Angst time :D👍

You can read my rambling about her in the tags

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo.

Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:

he does it because Star asks NICELY

clearly jealous

It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...

Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)

What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"

he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much

The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"

Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.

He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:

Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"

If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).

... okay.

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[prince-kallisto]

You know…with Rook’s new SSR card depicting him in his first year uniform, I wonder…it’s very likely that this card may be from Rook or Vil’s dream lol 😭 But I also wonder about the slim possibility about this being from Leona’s dream.

Not that I’m saying this is Leona’s ideal world or anything 🤣🤣 But Leona has had a theme of being “aware” when he’s dreaming or sleeping, which he showed a bit during Book 6 against the Lachesis System. Because so far we have Silver, Sebek, Yuu, Grim, Ortho, and Idia united and aware of Malleus controlling the dreams. The idea of them wanting to get more allies throughout the dreams make sense (although maybe not everyone?), but it feels very…Leona to hijack the dreams somehow because of how *aware* he is- knowing all of this is a dream orchestrated by Malleus. Idia hints at Leona “ALWAYS knowing he’s dreaming.”

Why Savanaclaw Rook would be there in Leona’s dream I’m not sure (his ideal world was getting Rook out of Savanaclaw najxds /j)- but just a random thought by me. I feel like the dream sequences would be the perfect time to bring back Leona, whose has been standing out in a unique way for quite some time now in official art or art gallery stuff- which may imply a vital role from him in the end game👀

[bonefall]

why is fernsong on thin ice with dovewing, did ivypool use him to send her messages or something like that

Yeaaaaahhh. I figured it was obvious enough to figure out lmao.

Dovewing really likes Fernsong (who doesn't?) but Ivypool continues to be a petty badger for years. She's changed a lot after the impostor murdered her daughter publicly for codebreaking and suddenly ShadowClan didn't look so crazy to resist him from the very start...

But she treated Dovewing like garbage for years. Always looking for ways to spite her and her 'Friendship' with Tigerheart, and it didn't even stop after she booked it. Dovewing doesn't WANT to fix this.

Sure, this stems from Lionblaze being a really bad parent, playing obvious favorites with Dovepaw and neglecting Ivypaw. But Ivypool would take it out on her. Well into their adulthood. And NOW she wants to reconcile? When Dovewing's finally away from her, and living happily?

Fernsong and Dovewing have a history, making friends with each other before Fern started dating Ivy when he first joined ThunderClan, but he FLOATED the idea of Dove talking to her sister, "you know... Ivypool talks about you," and she shut it down fast.

(That means she walked away, cutting the whole reunion short. She really did discover the power of Just Leaving and has been using it like a superpower)

He hasn't dared try again, since that moment. He knows very well he won't get a second chance, and Dovewing is his friend. He doesn't want to ruin it. She's forgiven him, but hasn't forgotten.

I think Dovewing has a reputation of being really sensitive, according to ThunderClan cats. And, she kinda is? But it's because she was so patient for years with them. She feels like if she gives an inch, they'll take a mile, and reacts accordingly.

...it's why the deafness isn't ALWAYS a bad thing, in Dovewing's mind. Sometimes she really appreciates it. She doesn't have to listen to her dad bark for her to get back here, or Bumblestripe break out into a sob, or whatever stage of denial Ivypool's circled back around to. If she does, it's quiet.

It's SO much easier to walk away now.

[hyperactivewhore]

Listen I absolutely adore Elena, but it's absolutely insane to me how she was okay with murdering Kol, knowing that would kill hundreds of vampires who did absolutely nothing to her, for a cure that sounded straight out of a fairytale.

[sophsun1]

[sysig]

Just be honest! (Patreon)

Bonus:

Could be :)

[anxiously-sidequesting]

hear me out. Ambrose (derogatory) could have been such a good character if he was *actually old* (no that party city beard ain't fooling me).

Like from the beginning it could have been "I'll show him- threatening a new student before orientation, no less- ACK, oof, my back!"

And YW would have been like "Nah don't worry about it old man, I'll fight that Mall staircase or whoever for you. But first let's get you to bed, you haven't taken your meds today."

Like it could've been such a great dynamic between a guy who's knowledgeable and truly wants to help but is way past his prime, and the young apprentice who has no idea what's going on at any given time but is "yeah this dude will 100% keel over from trying to take on the weight of the spiral if I leave him alone for two seconds so I'll knock some heads for him. I like knocking heads anyway >:D"

First off I absolutely love "Ambrose (derogatory)" I'm gonna get that tattooed on my body /j

AND SO LIKE IM KINDA LIKE 🤔 AT THIS SCENARIO (not you anon your idea is absolutely lovely, just thinkin hard about this) BECAUSE LIKE. OKAY HERE'S MY THOUGHT PROCESS

I guess it would be cool to have a YW who instead seems eager and willing to fulfill the role of the Savior instead of dreading it (and it would give a bit of a different face to their relationship mentor/mentee with Ambrose) buuuuuut like in the case that Ambrose is really too old to deal with things himself, instead of whatever reason he doesn't do things in canon, he could always just like find a capable and prepared adult to deal with the nationwide threat of Malistaire INSTEAD of the new kid who's eager to fight

AND THIS ISNT ME DISSING ON YOU ANON I LOVED YOUR IDEA. Like instead of seeing the YW unhappy and resentful and trudging along doing dangerous stuff it's interesting and cool to see where in an alternate universe the YW immediately takes to being a hero and loves the action and does it FOR Ambrose, not just because he told them to. I think that would be very cute if it like, removed the actual issue that Ambrose is still relying on an ill-prepared child to do his work. Whether in canon where the YW is urged to follow Ambrose after Malistaire, or if Ambrose falters and then the YW rushes in to beat his minions up instead, it's still on the Young Wizard to clean up this very adult mess. If this scenario continues on just like canon, the Wizard still ends up being Bartleby's Scion with a tainted Shadow Soul and heaps and heaps of trauma. It just started out a little differently

I HOPE IM NOT SCARING YOU ANON IM NOT SCOLDING YOU IM JUST ANALYZING THIS (please don't be sad I love you anon ty for sending this). Please feel free to send me more of this if you like because it's really interesting tbh. I really.hope I didn't scare you off with this HASKDNDRLSJSJ this was a great ask

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

[clits-and-clips]

Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain

[invinciblerodent]

himh I'll make a Dark Urge that's so fucking scared

big scary bloodsoaked killer, tearing through armies with her literal bare hands? nah. a quiet, scared girl who doesn't understand why she does what she does, why she can do what she can, but is, at the same time, deeply disgusted by herself because she has just enough self-awareness to know to be repulsed.

maybe it's because I'm a tiny bit obsessed with clinging to the thought that people, at the end of the day, are fundamentally good, no matter what. that there is a fundamental human goodness in all people that makes them worthy of redemption, or at least of the opportunity for atonement.

maybe the way I want to play a story like that is with someone who, stripped from indoctrination and free for the first time to think for herself and embrace and be who she is, finds that in the deepest, most hidden pits of her soul, she is not the strong, kind, resilient person she might want to be. try as the might, she is not someone who can bear the weight of her own past, she's just a... a terrified, broken little girl, cowering in the shadows and unable to look herself in the eye. (which also gives me ideas for her relationship with Orin but that's a little bit beside the point)

cathartic self-insert who. therapy? what is that. is it on Steam or Epic.

[spookythesillyfella]

" Losing battle of loss "