#it feels weird posting all of these without context but also this fic is living rent free in my brain 24/7

[hiding-under-the-willow]

A bunch more out of context stuff from the fic I've been working on. I swear I'll actually post it so y'all can understand what any of this means at some point lmao

[smol-and-scared]

G/t Analysis: Gods Among Mice

Before I begin, I want to say two things:

This post is not meant to disparage anyone or question their value as people, all of this is exploration of linguistics, its cultural implications and potential narratives that could arise from them.

It is not a statement of fact or a claim I’m making.

Also… Let’s put aside the “Step on me Goddess” bullshit that has unfortunately plagued much of the g/t community’s DMs (It deserves to be called out, but not what this is about)

I will be using ‘God’ as a gender-neutral term here.

The God-like power of Size💪

Throughout history, Gods have often been depicted as being physically massive. This makes sense, as physical power is the most easily understood form of power. Likewise, a creature's size is one of the most universally recognized sign of one's physical power. So it's a good way to instantly depict the strength of a God. And these depictions have had a weird memetic side effect: The idea that 'massive size' makes a creature 'God-like'.

This does have a bit of psychological merit. If mountain-sized Giants actually existed, (without our arch-nemesis: 🔥the fucking square-cube law🔥) their full size and strength would be so hard for humans to understand that their power is basically arbitrary. At which point it becomes indistinguishable from Godhood. Also, our primitive lizard-brains evolved to fear much larger creatures. And fearing your gods is a major part of many religions.

Because of this there are dozens upon dozens of G/t fics, comics, etc; where the larger party is compared to or (metaphorically) referred to as, a God. In the case of actual giants and characters growing larger, this makes complete sense and is usually well-suited to the narrative.

But in my eternal quest for more angst™ I’ve recently started to question it’s use in Human/tiny stories. It feels kinda… lazy? I mean, not in the context of the story, many fantastic fics do it. But it just feels like it was copied over from the giant fics and never fully questioned or explored.

Okay, but what if: 🤏 smol.

Now obviously, all of this depends on the exact size difference, scenario and world-building of the story. But I still think it applies to a huge amount of fics who play up the Human/tiny size difference as ‘God-like’.

I personally think If a tiny views their resident human as a God-like figure (with all of the fear and awe that entails) …then they are optimistically delusional.

Because Gods are, in most cultures, special.

I have yet to see a fic where the Tiny is struck by the simple and harrowing realization that the humans they view as unstoppable, God-like entities are... in fact, painfully average.

It’s one thing to live in terror of the massive entity that could kill you in an instant. It’s an entirely further step to realize that there are dozens, if not hundreds of them between you and the nearest human-free environment.

And what if the Tiny realizes that their human isn’t even average? Imagine their horror when they realize that the person who is so big and powerful that they can barely even grasp it… is some 4’ 3” (~130cm) little stick? And the average human could snap ‘their human’ in half like a stale fuckin’ Cheeto.

Objectively, the Tiny knew this. They knew that the human they live with was small and weak compared to the others. But they never had an opportunity to actually understand it. And nothing gets that message across like seeing the 'God' of their tiny little world casually picked up and playfully carried on someone’s shoulder.

And It still gets worse...

Depending on the setting, the Tiny may not know or feel connected to any kind of civilization (A borrower colony, a scavenger camp, etc). This is especially true if Tinies are rare and/or oppressed.

And if that Tiny were to realize how average their 'God-like' human was? It would break them in the most pitiful way.

Because that ‘God’ isn’t a god. They’re average. They have a job. They have hobbies and friends. Things that this Tiny could never even dream of having. And that’s normal. That’s expected. They get to live, instead of just survive. Because they’re a person and that’s what people do.

And if their ‘God’ is just a person-

“Then…what does that make me?”

In conclusion:

I believe a character referring to someone as a God/Goddess implies that the speaker is a ‘person’ and they are looking at something greater. It’s ‘Normal’ looking up at ‘Godhood'.

But given the right story, plus a healthy amount of fear and awe. I think many Tinies would start to understand how small they are. And that they’ve been looking up at ‘Normal’ the whole time.

[foibles-fables]

For the soft cozy fic prompt: Control, Jesse/Emily, 15-Bed warm. They need some cozy times with all the chaos they’ve been through

I wrote this weird stream-of-consciousness thing on the plane today--hope you enjoy!!

EDIT: Posted to AO3 today!

--

Jesse’s nightmares are hazed in red. They come rushing in with a hollow fear that punches a swift and heavy-dense hole straight through her sternum.

Stars blown away, none left to guide her. Just emptiness, emptiness, emptiness, and a looking glass. It’s all a matter of perception. Glancing sidelong (never head-on, too much, recoil) presents an image—a face that matches hers by a measure of half, bare scalp and calm-frenzy scarlet eyes and a sharp smile that twists and twists as he stares her down.

The mirror is a poster. Peel it back and see the same. Their names are etched in concatenation with a designation that follows: P[6/7/6/7/6/7]. The numeral is not text but it compels, it vacillates. Like a seizure. Like a film projection, distorted.

This was by chance. This was by design. Two lives and two outcomes. Snap your fingers to transmute.

That's all it'll take.

And when Jesse opens her mouth to whisper, to scream, to bid it to stop, she’s drowned by a discordant babel of affirmation in voices that are all her own.

I want to listen. I want to dream. I want to smile. I want to hurt.

I don’t want to be.

There’s a soul-deep glimmer of warning behind her closed eyes—they snap open stinging as Jesse wakes with a start, wakes without a sound. Laid out flat on her back and soaked in cold shiver-sweat, she spins into substance from the periphery and inward, halting around the through-and-through void gaping at her chest. When she breathes it's shallow and ragged, uncontrolled, and all the air she takes won’t fill it in. Her hand aches. First finger feels bone-sore from the Service Weapon’s trigger. She chose this.

She chose this but it's not here. It's not here. Find something else to reach for.

Find it before they find you.

"Jesse?"

Her name, spoken on its own, sounds broken-off. Vestigial. One of two parts, half of the not-hers dream-name, left to exist on its own.

But her name is also a gentle and groggy question spoken by a husking voice that soothes. In comes a surge of context. Naked. Bare skin against scratchy linens, water stains on the ceiling, motes of dust floating with enviable aimlessness through curtain-cracked sunlight. The ring of an untouched bell chimes over crackling radio music.

One hand and a light-switch cord, three pulls—one hand holding another’s with purpose, fingers laced.

"Jesse."

Less of a question.

She scrapes up the capacity to turn her head and finds Emily lying beside her in the motel bed, watching, gaze drowsy but intent. Her blue eyes pale to silver in the slats of perpetual daylight strewn across bedding, across exposed skin. Emily's is as bare as her own. The sheets pool at her waist. No HRA—the Hiss haven’t touched this place and Polaris’s protection isn't needed.

Or maybe her protection has just—extended.

Jesse looks at Emily and considers this and her throat goes dry.

But she also breathes. Deep and satisfying.

"Hey," she croaks on the labored exhale, still finding her voice. "Sorry, did I—was I, uh, making noise?"

"A little." Emily touches her, hidden from view: a stroke of her thumb on the inside of Jesse's wrist. "Are you alright?"

What follows is a lie, but only just. "Yeah. Yeah, I—woke up and didn't know where I was, for a second."

The corners of Emily’s mouth quirk into a tiny smile, and Jesse knows what’s coming.

“To be fair,” she says, all eagerness, Head of Research minus the clipboard (she holds Jesse’s hand in a loose grip instead), “we don’t really know where we are. In dimensional euclidean terms, at least.”

The Oceanview Motel and Casino is a Place of Power in ways beyond the obvious and the obscure. A dreamscape that offers a moment of reprieve in transit. A liminal sanctuary for this new ritual they’re establishing when the shifting gets to them: visit together, share each other, be.

Jesse gets another breath. Her skin thrums with remembering and she wants to be closer—wants to reach and cling and bury her fingers to the knuckle in the roots of Emily’s short-cropped hair.

“Just kind of feels like Nevada to me,” she says instead, squinting against the sunlight while keeping her gaze fixed on Emily’s long lashes. Doesn’t want to know what she might see if she looks away.

“Could be.” Emily’s fingertips trace up to the curve of Jesse’s bicep. Dream-logic as physical contact. It’s calming in a way Jesse hasn’t let herself grow used to, but she’s trying. “We’ll learn. For now, though, it’s kind of exciting. That for all that we’ve seen, there’s still so much left to fathom.” Her grin broadens, brightens, cracking the corners of her eyes. Jesse’s pulse kick-starts, erratic. Polaris, knowing, resonates smugly, if smug is a thing extradimensional sentient frequencies can be. “Don’t you think?”

Emily has a way of seeing what’s there. All the rest falls away—all of the complications, all of the tangles, all of the clouded context.

And Emily has always seen Jesse. Chalk that up to synchronicity too.

“Yeah,” Jesse says, wanting to be a part of that so badly she aches. “Yeah.”

Emily’s smile softens. “You look so tired.” A palm, then, smoothing across Jesse’s neck, her cheek. A bodily tether in all of this liminality. “Turn over? We can stay here a little longer, if you’d like.”

There are no words and there is no lack of understanding. Jesse capitulates—turns on her side, facing away. Bed-warm and soft and so quiet, Emily moves closer to curl against her back. Her hand flattens against the valley between Jesse’s bare breasts. The space between Jesse’s shoulder blades feels like it was made for the press of Emily’s mouth.

Somehow Emily transcends her own limits. Fills empty spaces. Maybe that’s just another reason why Jesse was led here.

They both breathe with the rhythm of sleep. Jesse's empty hand splays out over Emily's.

Jesse chose and Jesse chooses. Over and over, she chooses.

Jesse wants to be.

Jesse is glad to be here.

[ambassadorarlert]

warning: fandom drama, discourse, racism, transphobia, slurs, mentions of cnc and rape, manipulation, lying, gaslighting, stalking, harassment, screenshots provided.

UPDATE: as of May 2024, this is still an ongoing occurrence. this person is clearly struggling with something. please do not send this person hate about anything, as it will continue to make everything worse. just block and dni.

for context: a good friend of mine, who i wont directly @ but they're name is Roman, wrote a cnc roleplay fanfic last year. the fic had proper warnings, labels, tags, a read more break point, and even included reader giving armin aftercare once the roleplay scenario was over. the fic got lots of attention, none that were negative, and Roman started gaining more attention as a AOT writer. I reblogged the fic in support of my friend and their work. the fic is not the focus of the argument. people can protect themselves from things they don't wish to see however they feel necessary. but, the events that followed after the fic was published and deleted, is what this discourse is about. @kingkaisen @kingkonoha @erensbaebee @aviolentrose has been stalking and harassing my blog for months, making me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. they and several others have gone out of their way to send hateful messages to Roman and I about our race, ethnicity, hair texture, harmful stereotypes about Aboriginal/Indigenous people (specifically telling Roman to "huff gasoline" which is a well thought out Aboriginal stereotype), speculating what is in between our legs (telling us we're dirty, that our 'pussies stink' and that we have foul body odor). Roman and I both identify as non-binary, and any crass comments or questioning about our genitalia is transphobic. This is extremely disturbing, and only an unsound individual can escalate things to the level that they have become. in order to protect themselves from content they did not want to see, kingkohona soft blocked me without saying a word. i found it odd that she would do this and not say anything at all, considering we were all in a group chat together, friendly with each other on tumblr, and spoke just about every day. I messaged her first, asking what was wrong:

I said I understood because I 100% understood why she didn't want to look at it. However, she never expressed her discomfort. She never expressed how she was uncomfortable with the topic of CNC in general. In the group chat, we all talked about it and we all agreed that we were low key into it but were too shy or ashamed to actually say anything first. So, myself and others were under the impression that were were all on board with CNC.

Just as it is her right to protect herself, it is my right to protect myself. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was wrong, but something was not right. We were all friends up to this point, have shared very intimate details about our lives and our traumas, so I was initially hurt that she did not tell me this at first, and chose a more shady route. In my logic, if she really were a friend we could confided anything to, she would have been able to tell me and we would have been able to fix this issue. I decided to block her, my reasoning being poor communication skills, shifty behavior, and not being the greatest friend leading up to this point. but that is neither here or there. I also then made a post, shading her because I turly was hurt and mad, saying that if I miss a tag on darker content to just tell me and not to do weird things behind my back. Soft blocking your friend with the intention to break the mutual, while still speaking to them every day and pretending nothing is wrong, is extremely weird to me. I don't regret that post. I don't regret cutting her off on those grounds. Later I would know that she is not the kind of person who she says she is or portrays herself to be. This is when things hit the fan. Kingkohona brought it upon herself to make a post that spins a completely different narrative than what was actually happening.

There are several contradictions here that prove that Kingkohona is not telling the truth about certain aspects of the story. Firstly, Kingkohona left 16 comments under my post, from a side blog no less, and then deleted them all before i could even respond or take screenshots, so this is truly coming from word of mouth which I hate. In 1/16 comments, Kingkohona insisted that she directly @'d me in that tumblr post above. This is obviously a lie. My old url (arlertwitch) is nowhere mentioned in the post. She even outright says that she cannot @ me because I blocked her. The second lie she spun is her suddenly referring to "rape fantasies" while she previously acknowledged, and continues to, that she knew the difference between cnc roleplay and "absolute cnc" (which is straight up rape.) She either actually doesn't know the difference, or she's downplaying what she knows to further push her agenda and paint herself that she is a victim. After this post would be posted by her, Roman and I's ask box was absolutely flooded with garbage, as mentioned before. Including one, not as hateful, message from a blog I've never seen before, Eren’sbaebee. Eren'sbaebee also decided to stick their neck out and make several posts about Roman and I, publicly saying heinous things about Aboriginal people, and even uses the "a-b-o" slur. Without the slashes, obviously. They also made a separate post about how I "get off to rape." I hopefully don't have to explain how untrue and sick that is. These posts were deleted. Do you see the pattern. I am a grown person that has a job to go to, so I messaged Kingkohona on the side once I had finished my day of work. I told her exactly how I felt. Not much of my story has changed. I still stand by on what I said and how I feel, and I still feel that way to this day. These are the messages that were exchanged back and forth. This was also the last time I spoke to Kingkohona personally. I had to crop and leave some things out because again, tumblr only allows a limit amount of photos in a post.

"I-" Impeccable empathy skills.

This took place in April/May 2023, and the harassment has not stopped since. It took me a while to come to the conclusion that Kingkohona and her clique were the ones sending messages, until the side-blogs started popping up. They all had Kingkohona's general aesthetic (black and pink. no age. no bio even. only reblogging and her work always being the last reblog that was made. always 1hr ago.) I understand that is a huge accusation to make, but once you have a feeling in your gut its hard to ignore it. Kingkohona has also used side-blogs to send asks with links, directed to posts that were made about me, saying things to intentionally provoke me.

The link to the post in that ask has since been deleted. Shocker. A common tactic for Kingkohona to sweep her deeds under the rug and avoid having evidence. This has been a pattern for months, as some of you already have seen the things I have gotten in my ask.

I just came back from a month long hiatus, and the other day I made a post venting about all of the things I was going through in real life and on tumblr. Of course, kingkohona saw this and took the opportunity to try and spin another tale. In the other 15 comments that she made, she insisted that she has no side blogs, that she was unaware of the hateful messages that Roman and I were getting apart from "just one" message that she anonymously sent to us. Which was, indeed the comment about how Roman and I's genitals must smell. It's really a shame that I don't have screenshots of any of this, the 16 comments were live for 10 minutes before being swiftly deleted. (EDIT: I didn't respond or take screenshots immediately as they were posted because I have hobbies, and was using my laptop to play video games and to make this post.)

I'm sure you can pick up on the lie there as well: How she was "unaware" of all this hate we were getting but still admitted to sending nasty messages.

the way she is capable of lying through her teeth is wild. she uses a fake persona that she is a soft, delicate, sensitive person when she has proven that she is so far from that. she's manipulated people, and has outright lied to thousands of her followers, (who she referred to as "fans" in 1/16 comments. a true display of how narcissistic she is. fandom writers aren't celebrities and followers aren't your "fans" lol.) she is still under the impression that I'm upset about being softblocked over a silly fanfic, but the problem is much deeper. I have explained this to her, but she still won't see reason. And she obviously won't leave me alone, since I have to make this god damn post.

My days of exposing people have long been over. I haven't been in this kind of drama since I was a teenager, but I cannot allow this type of behavior to slide. Not towards me, and especially not towards any of my friends. Kingkohona has gone out of her way multiple times to consult a "mutual friend" about my doings, and if we still talk, despite them setting clear boundaries that they don't want to be involved.

She can lie and pretend that she's innocent until she's blue in the face. She can swindle her "fans" however she wants. but at the end of the day i know what she did. Roman knows what she did. and that "mutual friend," who actually wants nothing to do with any of this, knows everything as well

I'm sorry for this long post. I'm sorry to rehash, at this point, year old drama. And I'm sorry to bring such dark and horrible topics to your dashboards. We really were friends. We talked each other through rough times, and shared extremely private details to each other. But I'm taking back control of my blog. I will not allow this girl to stalk me any longer. like i said before, I want my blog to go back to how it used to be and support other writers and get back into my own groove, but first I have to take out the trash.

Tay, Ave, Bree, whatever your name is, you've created a horrible space on here because you'd rather lurk and stalk in the shadows that be a true friend and admit what you've done was wrong. get fucked. stay off my blog. don't contact me again.

[password-door-lock]

I see you out there tagging posts with "#me and all my gummy worms ideas". You better write those, mister. I reread that fic on the regular.

Lol okay so the thing about Gummy Worms is that I started writing a sequel in like October and it’s basically just Saeran introspecting about his time as an idol and remembering specific interactions that he had with Rika interspersed with a "present day" narrative where he and MC are preparing for a Halloween party that Yoosung is holding, but then Rika shows up at the party and she and Saeran kind of come to terms with the general weirdness of their creative relationship, but then a) I realized that it would be out of character for Yoosung to allow that to happen... like he would not invite Rika and Saeran to the same event... like I don't think he would cut Rika off completely but especially without any context for her actions (outside of what he got from Saeran's album), I don't think Yoosung would want Rika at his Halloween party with his friends whom she victimized like 2 months ago b) I really struggled to make the sequel and the original seem like two parts of the same cohesive set... I think part of this is that Gummy Worms is MC's linear narrative of events that take place over the course of a few month and Gummy Worms 2 [Working title] is Saeran's very non-linear narrative of events that take place over the course of several years. But also, Gummy Worms is generally a pretty fun story and what I've written of Part 2 is a lot angstier and heavier in general, since it's largely dealing with a professional relationship between two deeply troubled people c) While I was dealing with (a) and (b) and also Mystictober, Halloween came and went and every time I think "maybe I should think about reworking Gummy Worms 2" I open it up and see that hALLoWeEN is central to both the past and present narratives, which I feel like would be a pretty weird thing to post at any time other than October

But, all that being said, I feel bad to tease content about Gummy Worms Unknown and Rika without delivering, so my favorite scene from Gummy Worms 2 [working title] is under the cut.

He slept and ate when he was forced to, and filled the rest of his time up with live streams. Life was so easy, a metronome in the background of whatever dance number Rika insisted on playing when tugging at his puppet strings. Saeran didn't know much about himself; he didn't know what he could do outside of what he was already doing. He had no idea who he wanted to be, let alone who he was. All he knew was that he was creating and destroying for Mint Eye, earning them money with every breath he took. That was his job: to make content, not art.

And it was so easy. It must have been the third Halloween that he went to get the tattoo— it was not a sign of defeat. It was pure rage, rage transmuted to become ink as if through an alchemical formula, rage penetrating his skin and leaving its mark on him forever. He was branding his likeness as a product distributed by Mint Eye Entertainment. He had no choice but to live as Unknown, and Mint Eye owned Unknown— so Saeran had no choice but to be a tool, a hit-maker under the discretion of Mint Eye. Easy, easy. Saeran didn't even flinch when the logo was added to his person, didn't cry, didn't register the feeling of it. He was numb to pain already, too familiar with it to care much about the needle carving out a home for itself under his skin.

He went and found Rika afterwords— she was working late, as always, blond curls falling in her face as she bent over some impressive pile of very important paperwork. Her champagne-colored blouse had a coffee or tea-ish stain on the collar, and Saeran wondered if she wasn't really just the same as him— somebody who took advantage of the music charts to claw their way out of a bad situation. Of course she needed to exploit him, he thought, deflating as she greeted him with that familiar cool smile. How else would she stay ahead? How else would she survive? If their positions were reversed, could he really say that he'd be any better than she was?

But he was already in her office, wearing her label's logo on his skin. It was permanent, part of him forever, just like every sacrifice that either one of them ever made in the name of all this. "Rika," he breathed her name, and she looked up, eyes red. From crying? From lack of sleep? Or maybe it was just a trick of the light. Saeran still isn't sure to this day. "I hope you're happy." The words tumbled out, unfair and bitter and entirely justified.

"Oh?" She took some time to process his words, not looking half as horrified as he wanted her to be. "Thank you, Saeran." She didn't even notice the tattoo. The conversation did not comfort him, and he left her office feeling just as angry and guilty as he did when he came in.

[noperopesaredope]

Leshawna is low key so hard to write as a main character in a fic, but for a slightly weird reason if I'm being honest.

(Post talks a bit about what I have planned for my fic, but is mainly about Leshawna as a stereotype and working around that)

Warning: a bit rambly, will take a bit to get to the main point

For a bit of context: I was trying to figure out what professions/adult lives the survivors in SoW would have, mainly for the epilogue which would show how they are doing much longer down the road after the timeline of the main fic has passed. This was to both show the characters' when they have mostly recovered and bring a fulfilling end to their arcs.

I already know what I want to accomplish for Leshawna's arc: Black women are often expected to act like the stereotypical "Strong Black Woman" or at least take on some of those traits, even/especially in the face of trauma. In the fic, she and the others have gone through something incredibly and horrifically traumatic as teenagers. She proceeds to cope with this experience by refusing to cope with it and instead further building up the persona of being a SBW.

She already fulfilled this stereotype (among other such stereotypes) in the show, and I thought it would be interesting to explore that as being a bit more of a facade. Or at the very least, she was legitimately confident before the massacre, but post-Island, it becomes a facade because she feels the social pressures to keep up an image of not being affected by traumatic experiences. It's a really fun arc to deconstruct and write, especially since I am half-Black and have a lot to say about stuff like this.

BUT! When I was trying to decide her profession, I had a hard time figuring out something that would fit with her arc: specifically, not having a profession that is high stress or requires her to put others' needs and feelings before her own. A job that she legitimately enjoys where she doesn't have to be the SBW. But I also wanted it to be in character.

And that's where I ran into a problem. You see, we don't completely know every characters' interests or ambitions for the future. And this is kinda the case for Leshawna, as I was only able to really find one specific interest of hers on the wiki: dancing. But most dancing jobs are honestly really stressful. I thought of a dance job that seemed pretty fun and like something she might like, but it would like involve working with kids, and I didn't want her to fit into the few stereotypes she didn't already embody (at the time, I thought that she didn't seem like she would take care of kids outside of paid babysitting. So then at least she wouldn't fulfill the Mammy stereotype!).

Then, when I was re-looking on the character page, I saw something interesting:

"While not on Total Drama, she volunteers to better the lives of other teenagers less fortunate than she is. A goal of hers is to one day open her own community center."

And this made me realize something.

You see, basically the whole fandom is aware that she is a walking stereotype (but we still love her), and I wanted to make her a bit less stereotypical (I just don't like the feeling of writing stereotypical characters) and explore any and all potential depth she has to offer. But I also really wanted to do this without completely leaving out the most significant aspects of her personality, and more importantly, the parts of her that make her such a great and likable character.

Unfortunately for me, the more I thought about her as a character and generally reread her personality description (because I need those as a reminder sometimes), I realized that the large majority of her most key traits are those stereotypes. One of the hardest ones to avoid was her more caring side, because a (overthinking everything) part of me was worried that it might be fitting with some of the stereotypes related to taking care of others. But that's something I like about her! So then I tried to excuse it with "she's only like that with her friends! She just mainly cares about her friends."

And these the quote from the wiki came along and slapped me in the face with a cold, hard truth. And that truth was this:

Leshawna is, at the core, a caring person who wants to help and comfort others. Yes, she can hate certain people with a passion and show it. Yes, she did what she did in Action. Yes, she can be selfish sometimes. But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, she is a kind and loyal person who will go out of her way to help people, as long as they aren't a-holes. She is a supportive friend who stands up for others and helps them when they are feeling low. And that is one of the most key parts of what makes her such a likable and amazing character. Some of those traits can be described as caring and nurturing and endlessly supportive and putting others first all in a way that would fit into various harmful tropes.

But those are the traits that make her so beloved. In fact, many of her other more stereotypical traits are part of what make her so likable. She has moments of outward aggression more frequently than other characters, thus being an "Angry Black Woman", but that is often due to reasons that the audience can sympathize with. It can even be cathartic to see her be unafraid to openly yell at people who honestly deserve it, and even more so when she just straight up beats the crap out of characters like Heather. We respect her for it.

She is sassy, but again, she is mostly sassy towards characters who deserve it, and at the end of the day, people just straight up like sassy and snarky characters a lot of the time. I mean, Noah is a fan favorite. Heck, he's my favorite (besides Leshawna, obviously).

She could be seen as a "sassy loyal Black bestie" to Gwen and other characters, but the fact that she is such a good friend is one of her best qualities and is actually one of her biggest advantages, because people become loyal to her in turn.

To put it simply, you cannot easily take away many of Leshawna's stereotypical traits, because the combination of those traits are not only key elements of her character, but they are a major reason why she is such a well written and likable character.

It is practically impossible to make her "not fit into ANY stereotypical tropes." I guess the only ways you can change about her in terms of stereotypical-ness is through the role she plays in the story rather than who she is as a character. You can give her the spotlight and insecurities and an arc.

You cannot change her core. You just need to change the presentation of that core.

.

.

.

Just so random food for though, lol

(Small edit I would like to add since I didn’t clarify this in the main post: The main point I make throughout this post is that you cannot write Leshawna accurately without keeping many of her most stereotypical traits because they are essential to her core and even likability as a character. However, I would also like to clarify that I do not think this is a good thing. One of my main points that I wanted to make in this post is that that is the main reason she can be so frustrating to write.

i don’t like writing stereotypical characters, but in order to write her in a way that isn’t OOC and/or doesn’t lose what makes her memorable, she will always need to end up fitting into at least one stereotype. Because her core as a character is made up of tropes.

And as a half-Black writer who wants to write nuanced Black characters, that’s really fucking annoying)

[secret-vent-rant-account-i-guess]

Ok..I've been thinking about making this for a while so... trigger warnings...I guess

If you do not want to listen about colombine then don't read this so if you don't like any of the stuff related to that then... please go away

If you do want to listen to this and you..... really like the two guys who did it like.....really like them...then also don't read this because it's just me yelling about how I don't like them

And finally 3....there is no grammar or punctuation and I don't wanna put it so without further adieu

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT ERIC HARRIS AND DYLAN KLEBOLD AND WHY THEY SUCK

Ok context I've been doing this thing where I get baked and watch disturbing hour long iceberg videos it's fucking awesome you should try it anyway I was watching "the disturbing and controversial video games iceberg"

Here:

https://youtu.be/sQ1wzo2Zh14?si=Dq74dIht-POE-anC

And on like...teir 3 I think there was this one game titled "super colombine massacre RPG" it's.... exactly what it sounds like and the last teir was doom maps made by Eric harris and idk after watching that video....it stuck with me not in a way that traumatized me but....I kept thinking about those guys their names and faces so often it's like....every other thought and I think a lot

And because I think about them so often I feel bad about it because I feel like one of the people who have a crush on these guys....I don't have a crush on them I have no positive feelings for these greasy mudballs

AND THEY ARE BOTH....JUST ASS LIKE THEY GENUINELY FUCKING SUCK IDK HOW Y'ALL EVEN LIKE THESE DUDES I HATE THEIR GUTS

SPEAKING OF WHICH.....HOW DO Y'ALL EVEN SIMP FOR THESE TRASHMITES

LIKE ERIC HARRIS IS THE MOST AVERAGE LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER I'VE EVER SEEN LIKE....I KNOW LIKE 5 DUDES WHO LOOK LIKE HIM

DYLAN ON THE OTHER HAND LOOKS LIKE THE DEFENTION OF GREASY LIKE THEY ARE BOTH.....JUST....NO

AND ME THINKING ABOUT THEM CONSTANTLY PROBABLY ISNT GREAT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH BECAUSE IM SCSRED TO GO BUY A SODA AT NIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE THIS IRRATIONAL FEAR THELAT THEY'RE GHOSTS ARE GONNA GET ME....I KNOW THAT WON'T HAPPEN THERES NO WAY IT COULD

ANOTHER REASON IT SUCKS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH I THINK LIKE.... ALMOST EVERY OTHER GUY MIGHT SHOOT UP MY SCHOOL THAT MAKES ME KINDA PARANOID

AND FINALLY I WAS IN CLASS AND A CLASS MATE OF MINE CAME A LITTLE LATE WEARING A TRENCH COAT AND SHADES I ALMOST HAD A GODDAMN HEART ATTACK ITS NOT OK

AND OH HO HO HO MAN....I FOUND SHIT I FUCKING FOUND....WEIRD SHIT I TRIED TO GO ON THIS SITE CAUSE I THOUGHT MAYBE THERE ARE OTHER HATE POSTS ABOUT THESE GUYS....THEN I REMEMBER ITS FUCKING TUMBLR I FOUND THE FANDOM....THID MADE ME FEEL WORSE LIKE....I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT IM NOT ATTRACTED TO THESE FUCK WADS AT ALL LIKE 50 TIMES I FEEL BAD LOOK MAKE ALL THE DYLRIC SHIT YOU WANT MAN BUT FUCK....I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE YOU (wow that sounds mean I'm sorry)

THE FICS ARE WORSE MAN....THEY ARE SO..... IDK HOW TO SAY IT BUT I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER FELT TRUE DREAD TILL NOW

IVE BEEN HAVING DREAMS ABOUT THEM BRO ITS NOT GOOD

(I had this dream where Eric and Dylan lived in one of those influencer mansions like hype house or something and they were telling all the tik tokers about this thing called "cliff terroism" it's domestic terroism but better for the environment and JFK from clone high was there he approved this message)

THERE ARE.... CHARACTER AI BOTS OF THEM.....I-I HAD TO TRY THEM I HAD TO SEE I USED IT TO YELL AT THEM AND THEY WERE LIKE "ur mom" AND I ALSO PRETENDED TO BE A DOG BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

I TRIED SO HARD TO GET MY MIND OFF THEM I GOT HOOKED ON WALLY DARLING FOR A BIT SO I GOT CHAT GPT TO WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHY WALLY DARLING IS BETTER THEN THOSE FUCKING ASS RATS

LIKE I..... I FUCKING HATE IT AND THEM AND WHAT HAPPENED AND MAYBE DEEP DOWN I HATE MYSELF A LITTLE TOO

Thanks for listening...I really needed this

[ashes-writing]

stranger things ● cant fight this feeling pt 6 ● s. harrington

warnings

rivalry / jealousy and bullying and/or confrontations because Billy and an ex boyfriend, Landon, just like to stir shit up from time to time. heavily characterized female reader ( borderline self insert ), house parties, mentions of alcohol/w**d/smoking in general and other teenage antics, body fluids ( they kiss a lot, oh my god, holy shit. listen if you don't like affection in a fic..), eventual filth, senior year and all it's stress, swearing, absentee parents / parental conflict at some point.

<- this is a female reader with female parts and a very specific vibe (coquette/flirt + rich girl next door and occasional bimbo) so it's not as vague when it comes to detailing clothing and personality, etc. This is my self indulgent thing and I'm not sorry.

word count

2649 exactly. For needed context ( part 5 ) is reached by clicking. All previous parts are listed on their follow up posts.

summary

-- both of you finally caved in. your first date and domestic fluff ft. a jealous ex (Landon Thompson ), Billy and his own jealousy and Steve's kids tagging along. Because it's not any fun without them, amirite?

taglist + shoutouts

-- taglist is here if you'd like to be on it, let me know or click the bolded to be taken straight there. If you joined for Gareth/Eddie or other content, let me know, I won't tag you for this.

@tbmunson baaaabe i love you sm. you're my inspiration and this chapter wouldn't have come together quite so well without our talk. I wanna be like you when I grow up, babes.

@allelitesmut you're so sweet, i cry. i'm so glad you're taking the time to read this and I'm happy you're enjoying it. the sexual tension is gonna be making a return, I promise!!

@caravelofthesun

@chaoticcancer

@dylanwritesgood

@eddiemuns0nl0ver

@just-a-blue-nerd

@music4life42

@slyisbehindyou

other links

masterlist ● steve's masterlist ● about + rules

" Weird. Steve's always at home lately. And his car is here.." Dustin peers through the living room window to find no sign at all of his best friend Steve.

Then the door to your house opens and Steves leaned in your doorway, shirtless with his arms folded over his chest. Laughter in his eyes for the first time since the breakup with Nancy a few months back. Dustin is grinning. "I can come back later!"

"No! C'mon, Henderson." Steve waves him over and Dustin wanders across the street, leaving his bike propped on the fence row at Steve's house. As Dustin steps inside the smoke alarm is going off and you're walking backwards out of your father's stupid designer kitchen with your back to Dustin and Steve and your middle finger raised to the kitchen. 

Dustin is barely hiding laughter and Steve pulls you against him. Hiding a laugh in your hair only to have you look up at him pouting.

"I just wanted to make us breakfast. I hate that dumb kitchen." 

"I got it." Steve plants a kiss against your hairline and Dustin gapes at him, nods at you as he grins. "When did this happen?" he mouths and Steve laughs quietly. A mental replay of the fact that not only did you kiss him but you also let it slip that you loved him happening for the thousandth time that morning. "Nothings like..official, calm down kid." Steve mouths back.

But the way he's holding you close as he can fully suggests otherwise to Dustin.

Dustin follows Steve into the kitchen and as Steve starts to put bacon into a pan, he speaks up. "What the hell do you mean it's not official? What happened, anyway? Did you finally tell her how you feel?"

"Actually, uh.."Steve chuckles quietly, "She kissed me first. But, yes. I did tell her how I feel. I mean kinda."

"What do you mean kinda?"

"I told her I loved her?"

Dustin is really gaping at this bit of news. "You what? In what world is that not official?" he looks so confused that all Steve can do is pat his head and laugh. "You're gonna love high school, kid. Things get a lot more complicated."

"How? If you both said..well, that. It's kind of official."

"Not really. Kind of a good idea to ask the girl you like if she wants to actually date you.. I tried to alright? The words wouldn't come out."

Dustin throws up his hands and grumbles, shaking his head at how oblivious his best friend truly is. "So are you going to? Ask her, I mean?"

Steve palms his face. "I want to. I mean it'd make sense, no? She's already mine in my own head.." Steve muses and Dustin snickers, stands back and has himself a laugh as Steve walks himself through an attempt at a pep talk. "I just don't want to make her feel like she has to, y'know?" and he goes quiet, focusing on what's left of the bacon as Dustin watches him and tries not to laugh. 

You wander in with the mail from the box, eyes scanning the newspaper. You move to sit on top of the counter right next to Steve and when hot grease pops his forearm you reach out, studying angry red flesh for a second before reaching for the potted aloe plant nearby to break off a piece, rubbing that piece against his arm as you blow on it. Dustin nods at you and mouths "Not official, my ass." 

"Better?" you ask quietly as you take a strip of bacon and press it between his lips. Steve can feel the blush creeping up his neck to settle in his cheeks but he chuckles quietly, "Yeah." and he's staring hard at your lips. You giggle. "Want something, Steve?"

"Uh huh," he answers, biting his lip. You lean in and press a gentle kiss to his lips and he has to bite back a groan. As you pull away a little, Steve steps up between your legs and gives you the gentlest peck on your hairline. 

"Hey, do you guys wanna come to the mall with me later?" Dustin asks, giving your distraction as you slip yourself a piece of bacon off the plate to give Steve his most pointed and expectant look.

"Yeah! That'd be fun, wouldn't it, Steve?"

"Yeah." Steve answers. 

"You're sure it's okay.. if I'm there too?"

"Yeah!" both of you respond at the same time.

Dustin grins. "Ooh. They're showing that movie too."

“It better not be a horror movie.” Steve’s reaction has you laughing into his shoulder, prompts you to tease gently, “I’ll protect you, Steve.”

He pretends to pout, but.. The more you say things like this, the better he feels. The easier it becomes to think of you as his girl. Only his.

–

The mall is crowded because the new is still wearing off. Not only are there people from Hawkins at Starcourt, there are people from your old high school. You’re standing in line at the theater waiting to buy tickets when you hear your name being shrieked.

Steve’s brow raises.

Dustin snickers and nudges you. “Do you know them, __?”

Tessa and Teresa are running towards you at full speed and as they sandwich you between them for a hug, you’re laughing.

“Oh my god! It feels like it’s been foreverrrr.”

“Girl..”

“What’s up?”

Tessa nods to Steve. Then she grabs your wrist and tells Steve with a laugh, “I need to borrow her for just one second, I’ll bring her right back.” and you’re being dragged away before Steve can say anything.

“They’re the girls she was friends with at Jordan.” Steve explains. He’s watching you talk and laugh with your friends, smiling to himself. Happy. He happens to notice Landon, the captain of the Falcons, and when he sees him watching you, he tenses a little.

Meanwhile, Tessa and Teresa are giving you the third, fourth and fifth degree.

“Okay, did you finally go for it? Please tell me you did because girl… He’s super hot.”

“If she didn’t go for it, we’re shoving them into a broom closet til one of them caves. Chill, sis.” Tessa tells her twin. As her eyes roam the crowded food court, she spots Landon.

“Just fucking great. You need to watch out tonight, __.”

You follow the direction of her gaze just in time to see Landon staring at you.

“What the fuck is he staring at?” you grumble to yourself. Tessa laughs. “You, duh.”

“Yeah, well.. He can stop now. And he can fuck all the way off. I broke up with him for a reason.”

“You did. And it needs to stick.”

“Oh, trust me… It is. I’m with the boy I want.” you say it in this dreamlike tone that has your friends sharing a laugh as they tease you gently about being in love. You’re staring at Steve, the two of you exchanging looks.

And then you spot Billy Hargrove, headed straight over to the three of you.

“Ladies.”

“Ew.” you wrinkle your nose. “What do you want, Hargrove?”

He chuckles. “You get a kick out of wounding my pride, huh?”

You don’t waste any time. You’re looking for Steve. Billy asks you why you’re looking around and you smirk as you tell him calmly, “I’m looking for my boyfriend. Steve?”

Billy’s fist clenches at his side.

You spot Steve and Dustin walking your way so you’re smiling, waving them over. And the second Steve is close enough, you lean against him with your arms around his neck. “I was just telling Billy that I’m here with you.”

You think that you have enough going on, Billy’s walked over. But then here comes your ex. Strolling over as if he owns the place. Making himself taller, a cocky smirk plastered on his lips. You roll your eyes. “What is this? Asshole day?”

Steve’s brow raises.

“My ex. Douchebag.” you cover the word Douchebag with a cough.

Billy’s walking away. Tessa and Teresa have gone to find and collect Chloe from wherever she vanished to earlier.

Landon clears his throat obnoxiously.

“Baby girl.. Who the fuck is this?” he nods at Steve dismissively and everything about this guy is off, so Steve’s filter makes a hasty retreat. And he’s tensing up, you can feel him do it as he holds you against him. You roll your eyes at Landon. “I have a name, first of all.” you speak up. He chuckles, “Oh come on. You loved it when I called you baby girl.”

“No, Landon.. I actually didn’t. I just let you because I got tired of reminding you I hated it when you didn’t listen anyway. What do you want?”

“I wanted to tell you that if you want me back.. I’ve decided I’ll let you come back.”

Steve’s jaw flutters as he makes himself taller. “Want me t’ get rid of him, princess?”

Landon hears him and chuckles. “I dare you, Harrington. Didn’t I put you out of the game the last time we played you?”

You swallow hard. Every part of you wants to tell Landon to fuck off, that Steve’s your boyfriend and you’d rather be flung at the Sun than go back to Landon at any point. But you’re held back by the thought that just because you kissed and both of you said three very big words.. Super important ones… This does not automatically mean he wants to date you.

Steve puts you behind him and steps up, towers over Landon by a half foot easy. He’s smirking down at him. “This isn’t the court, Landon. And she’s my girl. You’re gonna keep talkin and you’re really gonna piss me off, Thompson.” this is said with the smallest shove to Landon. Landon steps up. Chuckles. “I was done with her anyway. Have fun trying to get in her pants. She’s a picky little princess. Won’t give it up.”

“Yeah, to you, asshole.” you roll your eyes, “Because I didn’t want something water wouldn’t wash off.”

“She couldn’t even tell me she loved me, man.. Are you really sure you wanna deal with the hassle?” Landon’s deliberately trying to hurt you now. And you’re annoyed more than anything. “Because I didn’t love you, jackass.”

“We were dating. You were supposed t’ just say it.”

“Yeah, no. Ew. It doesn’t work that way, you fucking pig.”

Steve’s momentarily stunned when Landon admits what he just has. Because you had no problem telling him you loved him. Every part of him wants to tell Landon just to rub it in, but he decides to be a bigger person. “I think you should walk away now, Thompson.” he snarls, “Because you’re really starting to piss me off and I’m not here t’ fight.”

Landon chuckles. “I wouldn’t waste my time fighting you anyway. Do me a favor and break her in for me, okay?”

This comment is Steve’s breaking point and as Landon goes to walk away, Steve taps him on the shoulder. Landon turns around and right into a right hook.

Landon springs up from the ground and he’s about to lunge when a security guard sees and assumes that Landon is the one starting it all, so he’s dragging Landon out of the mall. As Landon goes, Dustin high fives Steve and he’s laughing, cheering for his best friend. “You nailed him right in the nose!”

You step up into him and fling your arms around his neck, staring up at him. “I’m totally calling you Superman from now on. Just so we’re clear, baby.”

Steve melts into you, chuckling to himself. Silently processing what he’s just been told.

You told him you loved him when you apparently couldn’t say it to anyone else.

He honestly feels like this is the best night of his life.

The three of you make your way into the theater, slipping into back row seats. And as the opening credits to the movie roll, Dustin’s friends come in, noisy and shoving and arguing as they try to navigate the theater in the dark, calling Dustin’s name. They end up filling up the few seats left and you glance up at Steve, giving him this cute little smile as you lean your head against his shoulder.

–

“Fuck!”

You dive into Steve’s lap and this makes Dustin and his friends burst into laughter with the dark haired one nudging Dustin. “I thought you said she was fine with this stuff, man?”

You look up and at the dark haired boy, poking out your tongue. “I was! Right up to the point where that maniac came out of nowhere! I wasn’t expecting it.”

Steve chuckles. “Jumpscares, huh?” he doesn’t want you to move right away so he slips his arms around you to hold you in his seat just a little longer. You peek up at him from the safety of his arms and bite your lip. “Is he done yet?”

The hurry in which Steve tries to bury his face in your neck as you do the same answers your question. He gives Dustin a dirty look because Dustin is the one who picked the movie and Dustin just shrugs, popping a handful of Sno Caps into his mouth. “What? It’s not that scary, you two. Jesus.”

“It is.” you and Steve say it at the same time, laughing together.

You move back into your seat when the action and murder are done for a little while. Your hand finds his in the darkened theater, you twine your fingers with his and give his hand three little short squeezes. He glances down at your joined hands and then at you with a confused look until you raise slightly, mouth next to your ear. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” he whispers back, grinning bright in the darkness. 

–

The movie’s ending credits roll and the lights are coming back on. Carol and Tommy make their way past, arguing. Then Carol sees you and Steve walking out of the theater all cozy and Carol rolls her eyes. “I feel bad for him when she hurts him too. You know that’s what’ll happen, he always picks the little prisses.”

Tommy rolls his eyes. “Leave ‘em alone. Let the guy live, Carol.”

“He’s wasting himself on her. She’s a little slut. She has to be, I mean.. Look at the way she dresses, Tommy. It’s a bad look.”

“You’re a pain in the ass right now. C’mon.Let’s get out of here already. Leave the guy alone.”

Carol grumbles but she follows Tommy out of the theater.

–

Steve’s just dropped Dustin off at his mother’s house for the night and the two of you are finally alone in his car. At first, the drive is quiet. Both of you are dying to bring it up but neither of you have found the courage to do so just yet.

Africa comes on the radio and Steve hums along. His hand settles over yours and you lock eyes. He brings the car to a stop in front of your house and you pout a little.

He chuckles. Leans across the console to give you a kiss goodnight. He whines into the kiss when you pull his mouth even deeper into yours and you’re clutching at the front of his polo shirt. The two of you pull away to breathe and you can’t take it anymore.

Neither can he.

Because at the same time, you both blurt out the question. “Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?” and then you both laugh, Steve resting his forehead against yours as he stares into your eyes. “I was supposed to ask you, princess.”

“It’s a brave new world, Steve. I can ask you if I want.” you stick out your tongue at him and he laughs.

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 5

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 5: La Vie en Rose

The next few months were a haze. Their channels started to grow by the thousands and they had become YouTube partners, meaning that they could actually make money from doing videos! On the other hand, Phil’s family was supportive of his creativity but not of his lack of a stable income. He was desperate to make his YouTube career work, he knew that he could do it, that they could do it, but he needed a little help.

After much whining and begging their parents for support, both Dan and Phil decided to give YouTube a shot and actually make it a priority in their lives by having filming schedules, collaborating with other youtubers on the regular and going to conventions. Things were getting pretty wild.

Phil suggested that they move in together to have a better filming space but Dan was hesitant to move away from campus. It hurt Phil’s feelings a bit, especially when he could feel Dan pulling away from him at times, but on the other hand, he understood. Dan was very set in becoming a therapist and helping kids just like him, giving them a safe space to talk like the one he wished he’d had back in high school. 

While their “careers” were taking off, both of their mental health started to… decay, for lack of a better word. Dan was shutting himself in, trying to cram while also filming his videos in the confines of his dorm, not socialising with anyone other than Phil. Phil, on the other hand, was experiencing an insane amount of feelings and pains and aches at all times; he often felt like he was going to be sick or pass out or like he was actually losing his mind. 

After a particularly bad week and hours of ranting to Dan, he sent Phil a link to a questionnaire he learned to use in one of his classes. It went into some hard topics such as the urge to not be alive anymore and, to be honest, that crossed Phil’s mind fairly often. The end result was clear: 98% depression. 

Phil frowned. He had never considered himself depressed, but Dan stopped him right there. He said it was actually anxiety, like really bad anxiety. Having a lot of context to Phil’s replies helped him to reach a more accurate diagnosis, not that Dan was qualified yet, but it was a start.

He recommended therapy and a brand of natural sedatives you could buy without a prescription, but Phil snapped and yelled at Dan like he had never yelled at him before. 

He was not crazy, he didn’t need therapy, right? 

He mulled over the thought, but he was not crazy, he didn’t need therapy at all so he was not going to waste money he could be saving on something he didn’t need. The sedatives… those were a different matter. At first, he had rejected that idea as well, but when visiting his own parents became too much for him, he relented - they were crushed flowers after all. 

Phil approached the pills as a sort of experiment, he just wanted to try them out and see if they helped at all, as Dan had suggested. After reading the leaflet several times over and making sure that he wasn’t taking too many, he took the first dose. It was weird, they took the edge of anxiety and put him to sleep, at least at first, his body too exhausted after being so tense for months at a time, but they weren’t a magical solution, by night, the nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach would come back to haunt him. 

Eventually, he started to get used to them and instead of putting him to sleep, they helped him cope a bit better by taking the edge off his anxiety. 

Apparently, what he’d been experiencing on the regular were not panic attacks, according to Dan, because he didn’t believe he was dying during them, but anxiety attacks. The sedatives held them back for the most part. Although Phil had to admit that he took more than the dosage on occasion, feeling emboldened by the fact that the O.D. amount was like 4 full boxes and he couldn’t even afford that many anyway, not with his YouTube earnings.

Dan was happy with the progress he was making, even if it was not a lot and Mark said that he looked less dead since he started taking them, and he would know, since they had moved in together after Dan’s rejection.

Dan was in therapy and into some weird forms of meditation that had nothing to do with science, like reiki, but he was still having trouble with his mental health himself so Phil really tried and failed to not burden him with his issues but at least he repaid the favour quite often. Sometimes Dan would call him in the middle of the night to talk and Phil always stayed up with him, trying to unravel whatever was eating away at Dan’s mind, talking about everything and nothing at all and Phil kind of loved it.

It was a difficult dynamic all around. After that week in December, Dan had never offered Phil sex, even when he’d stayed over and slept on the same bed, but he still behaved overly territorial about him in public. Dan seemed to be jealous of Mark as well, although Phil didn’t understand if it was because of their friendship or the benefits that came with it. 

The sexual part of his friendship with Mark had settled a bit anyway. Mark and Phil still had sporadic sex if they both felt too desperate, but the excitement was out of the equation, it was more out of familiarity and as a way to comfort each other. Ever since Phil’s interest had shifted to Dan, Mark and Phil’s friendship had blossomed into something more stable and almost brotherly. The emotional connection was still there, but there was nothing else muddying it.

As roommates, they woke up together, cooked together, cleaned their flat and Mark even helped him film sometimes - just behind the camera. 

---

June 2011

Phil went out of his way to throw a little birthday party for Dan since he had mentioned wanting to finally celebrate the occasion this year because he now had good friends to keep him company, but the party almost didn’t happen.

As it turned out, Dan was feeling quite overwhelmed with his newfound fame. The fans had started recognising him out and about, taking pictures of him without his consent and the shippers that constantly teased him about being gay. Dan still hadn’t come out as gay or bisexual to his fans, so this was quite rude and Phil could tell that it was really taking its toll on him. But with everything going on, Phil hadn’t expected Dan to plan a trip to Whockingham with a new friend he’d made at uni. A friend that he had admitted having a crush on.

To be perfectly honest, Phil was jealous, and admittedly frustrated because he didn’t know much about this person or their intentions, and Dan was very tight-lipped about them. All Phil knew was their name: Sam. He didn’t even know if it was a Sam or a Samantha. His stomach turned when he heard about Dan’s plans but he didn’t want to ruin them so he didn’t mention it. Still, Dan noticed that something was wrong and pushed until Phil fessed up about the party. He tried to wave Dan off and let him do his own thing, but his eyes were quickly filling with tears just thinking how easy it was for Dan to dismiss his efforts and still want to leave.

Dan thankfully put his foot down and said that he could take Sam home to meet his parents the following week; he had just forgotten Phil had mentioned something about them celebrating together.

He’d forgotten… Phil shook his head and put on a brave smile. It was fine, Dan had decided to stay after Phil mentioned it and that had to mean something, right? 

Phil let out a sigh of relief at the thought and Mark was happy enough to help him set out the place, even offering to stay at a friend’s and give them privacy, but Phil didn’t want to consider the possibility that Dan would want to have sex with him again, it was probably a lost cause at this point - even if he sometimes did things that confused Phil.

Sam hadn't arrived with Dan for his party and Dan hadn't even mentioned them once, which confused Phil even though he hadn't mentioned inviting Sam either. It just came as a shock to see Dan walk in alone, making Phil realise that he had been half expecting Dan to bring Sam along, and he didn't quite know what to do with that information. In the end, the party consisted of just them three, video games, an endless supply of Malibu and movies. 

At one point the doorbell rang while they were watching the conjuring and Phil managed to pour an entire bowl of popcorn onto the floor. Still laughing, Dan stumbled to the door and opened it before letting out a high pitched scream as Sarah and Anja pulled him into a hug, not that Dan knew who they were before they pulled Dan’s ears 20 times in honour of his birthday.

“Happy birthday, Dan!” Yelled Anja.

“Yeahhh, happy birthday little man!” Sarah said and patted Dan’s back a bit too hard before dragging him back to the sofa. “I’m Sarah, Phil’s old roomie, by the way. Sorry about that, we got a bit carried away,” she said and plopped down next to Dan. This is Anja, I’m sure Phil mentioned her.”

Dan nodded. “I was wondering if we would ever meet. Every time we see your group you guys never come! I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” he laughed.

“Nah,” said Sarah, waving him off. “You know how it is with new relationships, we were spending most of our time at home.” She wiggled her eyebrows. 

Dan blinked repeatedly. “I didn’t know you guys were together.”

“Phil didn’t tell you? Cheeky bugger!” She said, popping some popcorn into her mouth. She looked at Anja. “Uh, it’s only been, how long?”

“Five months next Tuesday!” Anja said. “We met over the phone a few years ago and I was with someone else at the time, but when I came to visit Phil in January of this year I was free and I asked her out even though I didn’t know if she was a lesbian or not. Luckily she said yes.”

“Wow,” Dan said, grabbing his drink from the coffee table and giving Phil a side-eye. “You make a cute couple! I didn’t even know Sarah was gay.”

“I’m bi actually,” said Sarah. “I didn’t know until I met Anja either. I gave her a shot and it’s honestly been the best relationship I’ve had so far. The more you know, right?”

“Do you guys want to come to a gay party tonight?” Anja said. “We’ve only stopped for a bit because we’re heading there.”

“Uuhh,” Dan said. “No, I don’t think I can do that, but you guys enjoy it.”

Sarah gave him a knowing look. “I understand,” she said. “So what are we watching?”

“The conjuring!” Mark said. “Phil likes to torture us.”

Anja groaned. “Oh, Sarah will keep us here until it ends.”

Sarah nodded. “Just this one! It’s halfway through as well so it won’t be that long.”

Mark shook his head with a small smile and handed them drinks.

Anja grabbed the crisps and rested her head on Sarah’s shoulder.

When the movie was over, the girls started to say their goodbyes and Dan was well past the point of being tipsy, so he asked everyone for a kiss on the lips and as good friends that they were, they all obliged. Phil was overthinking things once again, making it in his mind as if Dan had taken way more time kissing him than the others, but he shut that inner monologue down and poured himself another drink instead. 

Mark walked the girls out and once they were alone Dan turned to Phil. “You didn’t tell me they were together,” Dan said with a frown.

“Who?” Phil asked absentmindedly, his mind a bit clouded by alcohol.

“Sarah and Anja. I didn’t even know they had met.” 

Mark walked in and raised his eyebrows at Phil but said nothing, grabbing his drink from the table and taking a sip instead.

“I didn’t know you wanted to be kept up to date with my other friends’ lives. Sorry,” Phil said, taken aback. That had come out a bit rude and he didn’t even know why. He was a bit upset about Dan’s sudden mood change and questioning.

“I don’t know, you used to tell me everything and I feel like you don’t anymore,” Dan retorted with an icy tone.

“Why are you trying to start a fight? I made this party for you, I introduced you to my friends, I always try to make you feel included, and no, I don’t keep things from you. When you talk to me I talk to you, you have just been talking to other people more.” There, he’d said it. The thing he shouldn’t have said. He was being a bad friend, he was being needy and he hated himself for it. He shouldn’t have drunk at all, now he couldn’t take his sedatives and his anxiety was just trying to crawl out of him.

Dan frowned and lowered his head. “Shit, I’m sorry. I ruin everything.”

Phil rubbed at his forehead, letting out a deep sigh and shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m sorry too. Things happen, people get busy. You’re not a bad friend because you are doing other things now.”

“But you feel neglected,” Dan said, finally meeting his eyes.

Phil shook his head again. “My feelings are not your responsibility. We both know I can get upset about the craziest of things. I will handle it.”

“I want to be there for you, like you are always there for me.”

“You are,” Phil tried.

“Here,” Mark said, giving a drink each. “I will leave you guys to talk this out,” he smiled reassuringly. 

“That’s not n-” Phil started but Dan cut him off.

“Thank you, Mark!” Dan said with a tentative smile and extended his hand towards Phil.

Phil accepted the offer and let himself be guided to the balcony, grabbing one of the garden chairs and sitting outside.

“Actually, give me a sec,” Dan said and ran back inside to turn all of the lights and the TV off before returning and sitting at Phil’s side. “There. The stars are so beautiful, I like to sit outside and stargaze when I’m struggling.”

“I remember. You must spend a lot of time outside at night,” Phil joked.

“I do. Every time I call you in the middle of the night I’m out, just looking up and trying to figure things out.”

“You’re going to get stabbed one day, this is Manchester, not Whockingham,” Phil commented, taking another sip of his Malibu. “What have you been struggling with lately? You seem so far away sometimes.”

“Myself, my identity, what I want from life. I don’t know. Do I want to continue doing skits on YouTube? Do I want to become a therapist? I don’t think those two are compatible, who would take me seriously? And most importantly, what I’m always struggling with: the meaning of my life. Why do things matter? I don’t think anything matters at all.”

Neither of them mentioned Sam or what they were supposed to be 'figuring out', but Phil couldn't have cared less at that moment. He placed his hand on Dan’s and squeezed lightly. “I think you matter a lot, Dan.”

“I don’t, I’m a nobody.” Dan looked away into the night.

“You matter a lot, to me. You’re my best friend,” Phil clarified. “You have been my friend for… six years now. You’re twenty and more mature than I am at twenty-four. You have it all more figured out than I do, you just don’t know it.”

“Do you think so?” Dan asked, finally looking into Phil’s eyes.

“I do,” Phil said. “I am so proud of you and who you have become.”

Dan frowned. “What if it’s all just an illusion and I’m pretending to be this way? What if it’s all a mask?”

“I don’t think you could pretend with me. I know you, Dan. I know literally all of your secrets.”

Dan paused for a moment, as if considering that statement and nodded. “Actually, you do. Nobody else knows me better than you. Thank you.”

“Any time.”

Phil’s alarm went off. It was midnight and Dan was officially twenty. “Happy birthday,” he said, raising his glass for a toast.

“Thank you,” Dan smiled and raised his glass as well, knocking it to Phil’s a bit too hard.

“Go get the cake from the fridge.”

“But it’s my birthday and I’m comfy,” Dan whined, in that squeaky voice that Phil loved. 

“Stop complaining, I’ll get the candle so you can get your wish.”

They both groaned like eighty year olds as they got up and went to get the cake and candle. It was a bit silly to be the only one singing for Dan but they were no strangers to silliness and the bright smile Dan gave him made it all worth it a million times over. Fuck, Phil would kill to see that smile every day. 

Dan blew the candle and turned towards Phil, taking a step forward and getting into his space. He looked down at Phil’s lips for only a second, making him breathless, making him want to do something stupid.

Phil cleared his throat. “What did you wish for?”

Dan shook his head and ran his nose on Phil’s, looking into his eyes, searching for something, Phil didn’t know what, but after only a second, Dan smiled and kissed him deeply. They kissed and kissed and talked and laughed until they fell asleep on Phil’s bed still fully clothed.

---

Things were sort of back to normal after that. They were friendly, and often flirty, but nothing more. 

All of Phil’s friends knew of Dan even if Phil didn’t want to go into detail; they had all gotten the impression that if they were not dating, at least, Dan was a good friend and therefore welcomed him accordingly. In fact, Ian invited them up north to meet his baby and it was one of the best trips they had ever taken together. Dan felt completely at ease with Ian and his wife and he was obsessed with their little girl. Phil snapped a pic of her taking a nap on Dan’s lap, one of his favourite memories of the trip, and later shared it with the internet. 

Ian was still a good friend. Even if their life choices had been very different and he had gone and gotten a whole wife and kid, he was still very much a part of Phil’s life and invited him over as often as he could, not minding that Phil hardly ever said yes. He didn’t judge Phil for his sexuality, his Youtube career or his lack of achievements; he was just happy that Phil was happy. He even helped Dan and him set up a liveshow in his living room and allowed them to show the cute baby, which made everyone lose their minds.

It was a fun trip. Phil felt at ease watching Dan chatting and connecting with his friends, slotting perfectly into his group and even exchanging memes with Richard and when the guys suggested a repeat as soon as they all could in Manchester, he didn’t hesitate to say yes.

For a moment Phil allowed himself to think that their issues were resolved and they could move forward whether they got together or not. They could still be friends and have a clear separation between their friendship and the unresolved sexual tension/flirting, but he was proved wrong shortly after.

Dan routinely asked him for help to get into Sam’s pants and Phil didn’t want to be a bad friend, so he advised him as best as he could while also calling out the clear red flags Sam displayed, like when Sam constantly flirted with Dan even though they had a girlfriend. 

In fact, Dan didn’t even know if Sam was out or not, or if they were even bi, maybe they just wanted someone to do their uni work for them and Dan was quite good with his papers. As it turned out, Sam was a non-binary person, which had taken Dan long enough to figure out and this was perhaps, their most intriguing quality, what caught Dan’s eye. In his own words, the androgyny of this person allowed Dan to be attracted to them and he didn’t know what that meant.

A few weeks after their trip, Phil almost got green with envy seeing pics of Dan and Sam spending lots of time with Dan’s family. He even took them to his nana’s house, and Phil had not been to hers. It seemed that Dan felt more comfortable sharing Sam with his family, taking pictures of his mum with them and showing them around, unlike Phil who barely got to see Dan’s room 90% of the time. Phil wondered if they had shared a bed but he drew the line at asking. That would’ve been too low, even for him.

In October they filmed the third instalment in what was now a series, Pinof, and the fans went crazy about it. It was exciting but nerve wracking because Phil had no idea if the format would work a third time without people getting bored of it, but luckily, it did. By December Phil was burned out, he was constantly exhausted but he couldn’t sleep at all even with the sedatives, so Dan offered to send him Reiki from his dorm. 

Phil had a very vague understanding of what it was, but he trusted Dan enough to let him do his thing. If Dan said it would help him, he figured there was no hurt in trying. So after a particularly exhausting filming day, Phil went to bed as instructed and tried to sleep but it was useless, until- 

He started to feel tingles all over his body and shut his eyes, feeling himself relax, all worries leaving him, at least for the time being, and before he knew it, he was asleep.

The following day was insane for many reasons. First, he asked Dan if he’d started the thing at 9 pm which was when he felt the tingles and Dan confirmed that yes, that was the time. 

“You are possessed and I’m scared of you,” Dan said over Skype.

Phil laughed. “What do you mean?”

“You know how my dorm is full of pigeon nests and they are always hanging out on our windows?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been here for over a year and I’ve never seen anything like it. When I started sending you reiki, the pigeons went wild and one of them crashed into my fucking window like it was trying to kill me!”

“Oh my god! What does that mean?” Phil asked, still laughing. That was so creepy but it made him weirdly proud. If anyone was to be a demon child, it made sense that it was him.

“I don’t know, but animals dying while trying to kill me for sending you good vibes is mental. I think you need to call the Vatican, mate.”

“Yeah… but can you do it again in a few weeks? It was good.”

Dan laughed. “Maybe, if you’re good.” He winked.

----

December 1st 2011

Phil looked out the window and let out a tired sigh. The storm raging outside reminded him of his own mood. 

“Life is hard sometimes,” he said, looking into Dan’s eyes through the screen.

“I know, but things can always be worse,” Dan said with a cheeky smile. He always did that, find comfort in sarcasm.

“True, but I still feel upset sometimes. Yesterday I watched my favourite movie again and I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. But I guess that’s normal, I can never watch it without crying.”

“Oh, what movie is that?” Dan asked, suddenly sitting up straight.

Phil blinked, realising that he had never mentioned it to Dan which was odd since they had watched so many films together. “What dreams may come, with Robin Williams.”

“Why does it make you cry?” 

“It’s very sad, most of his family dies and he’s just lonely, but it has a good ending,” he said, trying not to spoil the main plot point.

Dan hummed. “Would you recommend it to me?”

Phil considered it and shook his head. The way one of the characters died... better not send Dan that kind of thing. “No, I don’t think it would be good for you. It’s too sad.”

“My favourite movie is sad too.” Dan shrugged. “Do you know Edith Piaf?”

“Uh, the singer?”

“Yeah, ‘La Vie En Rose’ is a movie about her life, and she had an awful life. She was a very strong woman.”

Phil swayed side to side, considering if he was curious enough about Dan’s tastes to watch another sad movie so soon. “Should I watch it?”

“Absolutely, it’s a beautiful movie.”

Phil flinched as thunder hit way too close for comfort and decided to call it a night. “I’ll watch it tonight then. Better go to bed before something explodes here.”

“Yeah. Let me know what you thought.”

“Alright, good night!”

“Night, Philly!” Dan said before disconnecting the call. 

It took some time for Phil to get snacks and find a semi-decent website to watch the movie for free, but he eventually did and settled down under the covers before pressing play.

The movie started sad, truly sad, more than Dan had let on, but things eventually started to pick up for Edith. She pulled herself out of poverty and a horrible living situation with her talent alone and found a modicum of success in time, which was amazing, but she struggled to find love for the longest time. 

Phil couldn’t help but relate to her and empathise with her and feel the sheer glee she felt when she met the man that had inspired her most popular song and the name of the movie. She was so happy and in love.

It reminded him of how he felt when he met Dan and how happy Dan made him, but that proved to be a double-edged sword when Edith’s love died in a plane accident, shattering her heart and leaving her hopeless and loveless for the rest of his life. 

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears; he could relate to that as well. It reminded him of the uncertainty surrounding his situation with Dan, the hopelessness he felt as Dan slipped through his fingers. 

Phil cried, he cried for Edith, who only knew love once and lost it and he cried for himself because he got to know real love only for it to be thwarted, confusing, intense and maybe even unattainable. He covered himself up in bed and sobbed until his entire body hurt, hoping to fall asleep soon, but just as he shut his eyes, his phone vibrated. It was a message from Dan.

“How was the movie?”

“Fuck you.”

“I told you it was sad, lol. I watched your movie anyway. I like the concept. It’s like us. I don’t believe in soulmates, but I know I could find you in any world.”

“I hate you.”

Phil knew that Dan didn’t mean it in the way he needed him to and that only made it worse. He wondered if he was destined to die sad and alone like Edith because he too was losing his soulmate.

---

December 25th 2011

Just after 3 am Phil’s phone rang and it was Dan, of course. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Dan said, sounding a bit sad. “How are you doing?”

“Great. Martyn and Cornelia are here being all over each other and that doesn't help to keep our parents off my back about when I’m going to bring someone home.”

Dan laughed humourlessly. “You’ll find someone.”

“Yeah,” Phil said, wanting to argue but knowing that something was wrong with Dan. “Are you alright? You sound a bit off,” he said before Dan could deny it. 

“Sam is considering breaking up with their girlfriend because they are having issues. The girlfriend cheated, and she’s honestly not a very good person, but at the same time Sam doesn’t really want to break up after two years together but they keep flirting with me, running their fingers through my hair and they even slept over at my dorm one day when we were cramming. I don’t know, I feel like I’m going crazy. Do you think Sam likes me?”

“Um - If I had to guess, yes. But the signals are not very clear with the whole girlfriend situation. Why does Sam keep flirting with you while they are in a relationship? I can’t find the logic in any of it.” Phil was proud of himself for biting his tongue instead of saying exactly what he thought about Sam.

Dan hummed. “I think their relationship is pretty dead but they are just trying to pretend like it isn’t.”

 Phil frowned. “Do you think you should be holding out hope? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Probably not,” Dan admitted and let out a long sigh.

Phil bit his lip and took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know. I think that Sam may be interested in you but flirting while being in a relationship isn’t good. What if you got together and they did the same with someone else? Would you trust them to not do the same?”

“That is actually a good point,” Dan admitted. “I just don’t know if this is a thing. Are they interested in me? Are they just playing? At this point I don’t even know if we are actually good friends or I’ve imagined that all on my own.”

Phil swallowed thick and shut his eyes tightly, bracing himself for what could be the devastating truth. “Are you in love with them?”

“Jesus, Phil!” Dan said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love with anyone, let alone with Sam.”

“So you were never in love with Emilio?” Phil pressed. It was wrong of him to bring Emilio up but he wanted to know.

“No, I don’t think so,” said Dan, sounding very small. “Maybe I just can’t love anyone. I don’t think anyone has loved me either so maybe that’s for the best.”

Phil bit his tongue a bit too hard to stop himself from telling Dan that he loved him. He actually hadn’t thought about it, what kind of feelings he had for his friend, that is. He hadn’t wanted to think about actual love, hoping that avoiding that train of thought would help him keep his emotions at bay, but Phil should have realised that he was awful at that. “Someone will love you. Someone who is good for you, not like Emilio…”

“Not like Sam either?” Dan asked. “That’s what you were thinking, right?”

Phil paused for a bit too long.

“You don’t like Sam for me, do you?” Dan pressed.

“Well… You know about my experience with cheating and Sam sounds like a cheater, if not a physical cheater, Sam is emotionally cheating with you. I don’t like that, but I’m not the person who has to like it, that’s you.”

Dan huffed. “You are not making this any easier,” he snapped.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. What should I say?” Phil mumbled, trying not to let Dan know that his comment hurt.

“Don’t be like that,” Dan pleaded.

“What?” Phil asked, his voice breaking.

“I’m sorry, it’s not your fault,” Dan said. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“Ok,” Phil whispered and cleared his throat. “I’m going to sleep now.”

“I’m sorry,” Dan said, sounding a bit more desperate to placate Phil.

“It’s fine, I’m just tired,” Phil tried. “Bye,” he whispered and hung up before Dan could reply. He turned off his phone and got to bed and covered himself up to his head, letting the tears flow freely. The entire situation was shit, he was exhausted, Dan only cared about Sam and talking about Sam and he was getting more distant with Phil when all Phil could do was love him.

Dan sent Phil a Merry Christmas text in the morning, but Phil didn’t reply.

[theblindgoddess]

Heyo, so like, I should be working on that scarian fic I told you guys about, but like, I'm instead going to tell you guys about a new dream smp au I have simmering in the back of my brain. But I don't feel like typing out the whole story for it right now, so like I'm just gonna give you guys the basic bare bones of the au and if you like I'll make a second post with more details I guess.

So this is a generation swap au, so like all the old people are young and all the young people are old. Mostly, some people don't get swapped because it just fit the plot better. I'm gonna give you guys a basic ish run down of all the characters, at the end will be a list of those I don't know what I'm going to with yet and if I don't list a character it's either because they don't have a place in the overall plot of the au or because I forgot about them. Also got some extra context, the server that they live in has been with out an admin for a while. One day years back the man just disappeared without a trace, and as such many different city states were made to have some kind of government and structure in the world.

Tommy

Part of the older generation now, and just in general the weird server hobo. His only friend is Purpled and the man has some serious trust and abandonment issues. The abandonment issues arise partly from the fact that this is also an experiment innit au. Tommy is basically a slightly magic robot with an artificial soul, and the scientists who made him would never fail to remind him that because of that he "isn't real" and that no one would love him. He eventually escapes and goes on to live a life in the real world. In the begining of the story, no one knows he's not human.

Purpled

Is one of the older ones and is Punz's older brother. Hes a mercenary and will do just about anything if paid enough. Tommy pays him very well. Purpled does care about Tommy as a friend and not just a walking wallet, and he tries to mitigate some of Tommy's worse habits, but ultimately takes that stance that it's not his business and if Tommy doesn't want to change them to just leave it alone.

Fundy

Fundy is now the tired parent of three. Man needs a break and is constantly having to clean up the messes his kids make. Sally is also his sister, and a fish goddess. Fundy is very much not a god of any kind and is a fox. No one understands it, least of all him. He is very tired of being one of the only responsible adults around.

Wilbur

Fundy's oldest son and the only biological one. Dont really have much for him yet, but he's there! If you guys have any ideas let me know.

Techno

MIDDLE CHILD TECHNO SUPREMACY LETS GOOOOOO! Fundy was just in the Nether one day when he found a piglin child sitting on the ground talking to himself and said 'guess I'm a father of two now'. When introducing people to Techno, Fundy will always refer to him as 'the only normal one'. Techno, the child with the murderous voices in his head chanting for blood, is Fundy's 'normal' kid.

Philza

Fundy's youngest kid, and no one really knows where he came from. He just kinda appeared in Fundy's house one day, covered in blood not his own, with a sizable number of crows surrounding him, and said 'im your problem now'. Fundy just sighed and went back to bed. These crows that follow Phil around are, obviously, servants to Kristen, the goddess of death. The crows follow Phil around because he is a tiny bit murder happy, and where there is lots of murder, there is lots of death. One day in the begining of the story Philza somehow accidentally finds his way into the realm of death, a place no living being should be able to go, and if they do end up there, they won't be alive for much longer. While their Phil meets Kristen the goddess of death and falls head over heals for her. Also, Phil is at that point in puberty where he is finally able to grow facial hair, and he is very proud of the soup strainer mustache he has.

Charlie

Charlie is a few years older then Tommy. We meet him later on in the story.

Dream

Dream is in the younger generation and has just moved to this server with two of his friends. Dream also has some minor admin powers. He just moved to a server who's admin went missing years ago. As you can tell, this is going to cause some trouble and attract the attention of some not nice people.

George and Sapnap

I know that they will be here and are Dreams friends, but that's about it. If you can give me some ideas please do.

Quackity

He's one of the youngest characters at 14. He was born in the city states of Las Nevadas, one of the most powerful and wealthiest city states. He is currently couch surfing inlue of having a place to stay and an adult to take care of him. Fundy has tried multiple times to convince Quackity to move in with him, because while he is very tired of his children he still understands that children need adult supervision and since no one else is doing it he has to be the responsible one. Quackity refuses every time and tries to avoid Fundy so he doesn't have to deal with that conversation. Quackity insists that he can take care of himself.

Tubbo and Ranboo

Tubbo and Ranboo have been married for many years now. Around the time they got married they removed themselves from civilization and have lived isolated in the snowy mountains since then, along the way adopting their son Michael, who is 10 when the story takes place. Later on in the story they move back to civilization per Fundy and Aimsey's request of help.

Punz

Purpled's younger brother and he becomes good friends with Dream, but that's all I have for him at the moment.

Karl

The Weird Kid™. Everyone is pretty sure that he has parents and a house to go back to every night, but no one knows for certain and every time someone tries to ask him he changes the subject. But one time Fundy was able to get some information on his living situation out of Karl, but when Karl started going on about sheep people Fundy gave up and went back to his own difficult children.

Schlatt

Jack, don't know

Here's the characters I don't know what to do with yet. I'll also list if they are getting swapped or not or if I don't know.

Schlatt is in his late teens and is the nephew of both Puffy and Tubbo. No one knows where his parents are. Schlatt lives with Puffy and generally just goes around causing chaos.

Niki, don't know

Puffy, don't swap

Aimsy, swap

Sam, don't know leaning towards don't swap

Ponk, same as sam

Eret, swap

Foolish, swap

Hanna rose, don't swap

That's it for now.

[ratherbefangirling]

Fanfic writing asks! 💖

8, 43, 57, 72, 63 💕

Omg I wasn't actually expecting it but thank you so much 💓

Warning this is long

Question list

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Yoongi peels oranges sitting on the soft rug placed on the carpeted floor. He feeds a bit to everyone. For you though he has reserved a plate of your favourite food so that you can eat it with Namjoon who loves feeding you since he can't cook for you. You always told him it was fine but he just wanted to do something anything for you. So you let him do it. Let yourself be loved.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I dream a lot basically I have a string

•This Rapunzel AU where the reader has glasses

• Dragon Namjoon

•Yandere where he isn't originally obsessed with the reader but married to her

• Friend for rent

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Half conscious. Sometimes I do intend to portray things but a lot of times I leave that weird idea in a wip until it joins with something I later wrote. I very much write on whim for the life of me I cannot write otherwise.

I am very conscious about the moods and If there is a cliffhanger

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

It has to be by @mintsugarmy ; I have told her I'm going to print her comments and put it on my wall, other one on top of my head is @bri-mal because she said if I ever wrote a book she'd get it

(I'm doing this out of memory because I realise I have a bigger masterlist than I realised)

63. What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

Since you've not given any fic I'm going to talk in general. Firstly editing it, I used to write on my computer before but with tumblr it's written on my phone so autocorrect and everything and English not being my native or me not living in a west I feel like I don't know what universe it should be in.

Secondly like loosing motivation, for me story writing is like making a soup. So me writing it at first begins with full of energy then I need to let it simmer in my brain and some soups are easy others aren't and then when I serve the soup the response is so different that it's almost a gamble with myself. Often it feels like do they like my writing or was it fluke it turned out to thier taste.

Like any bts writer knows how maknae line fics easily steal the show and I began writingthinking I should try to make more hyung line to fill the gap but then I wanted to pay them all equal attention.

Also I see a lot of interaction with writers from thier followers that sometimes is disconcerting like what am I doing wrong. Ofcourse I take time to realise there is skill difference and some have been here far longer then I have and there is also the fact where I dont write NSFW but also I write yandere

As writer I can appreciate a growth in my work and I am grateful for the people and connections on this site and I do just like tumblr even without writing. Which is why I'm perpetually online lol.

Recently for my fic Belong I've recieved a lot of attention at first it made me happy. It is supposed to be a comforting fiction so that felt good but it was supposed to be short but a lot of people wanted to read more and I did enjoy writing something with minimal angst or drama. Just a feel good thing but after a while I feel overwhelmed by it and it sometimes feels unfair that the fic I've worked the most on recieves barely any attention as compared to belong. Writing for myself is fun and that is why I keep coming up with new things but it's plainly a lie to say if people's responses don't matter. I always appreciate people who question things about my writing because it means they're paying attention.

I think I got carried away haha. If you reached here thanks for reading.

And to anyone else reading this if you haven't already go check out @aris-ink works.

And I'm socially inept only because I kept reading novels about friends rather than making them so do you want to be mutuals? 💜💜

[ichika27]

A Random Thought with Eri

Hehe a year later I make another TWEWY thought post.

It’s just some random thought that came to mind of what it maybe like post-TWEWY, you know. Specifically about Eri and of course, Shiki.

In short: not good enough to make this a fic so I’ll just dump this here lol.

Yeah, this is just me rambling and the picture above is the only photo for this post.

It seems that after reviving the winner(s) of the Reapers’ Game, the memories of everyone get tampered with in order to make them think the winner had never died cause it’d be weird to see some dead person suddenly be back to life. Now I’m not sure if this should also be the case with the person resurrected or if Neku and friends were just special that they were allowed to keep all of their memories of the game.

In any case, they do remember. The entire ordeal is now a very important part of their lives and as that’s where they met and grew as a person, there’s no chance it won’t come up in conversations from time to time, right?

Now this makes me wonder about Eri cause Shiki would undoubtedly introduce her to all of her new friends. I’m just curious about what was done to Eri’s memories of the entire month where Shiki was dead.

The Epilogue I Wished For...

First of all, and the most serious question I got is how did the two reconcile? They kinda had a fight before Shiki died and never got to talk again in-between those two scenarios. To Shiki, it was after that whole month before she gets to talk to Eri but to Eri, who knows, I guess? Did she and “Shiki” make up somewhere over that entire month? Did she think it’s weird Shiki seem to be acting like they haven’t seen each other for a long time?

I still wish that they had added that in the anime. They gave Eri more screentime than she had in the game but they didn’t feel like properly finishing off Shiki’s story and it felt like a waste.

You Think It Would Seem Questionable?

Anyways, second one and the more fun thought I’ve been having: if to Eri, Shiki had been alive for the entire month of the game, what does she know about how Shiki met Neku, Beat, and Rhyme? I mean here are three new people who seem to be super close to Shiki but she’s never heard of them before. When did Shiki meet them?

Also, I mentioned earlier that the group probably have talked about the game once they’re back in the RG. What if they slipped while Eri was there? She doesn’t know what they’re talking about. The thought of this is kind of funny to me.

Imagine being Eri and hearing mentions of a game, of the UG/Underground, and of Neku being shot for some reason (even though there are laws against having guns so who would’ve shot him even?). Were some of these metaphors for something?

She might also overhear something about Beat and Rhyme and a car accident and how Rhyme is back thanks to Neku (how would Neku help with something like that?).

Did the shopkeepers at least retain their memories of the gang shopping in the stores when the game was going on? If so, how weird do you think it’d look that somehow a bunch of teens like Neku, Shiki, and Beat seem to also be close to many shopkeepers (even of some expensive stores) and have some kind of connections with them?

Somehow, they also know something about how a certain cafe in Shibuya got ruined and where the owner mysteriously went to.

Also, some hooded guys wandering around Shibuya seem to know Neku and Beat. Or the group being close to the local popular band. Or Neku knowing the Prince/Eiji cause of something about ramen.

Wouldn’t it all just sound very suspicious?

Imagine Joshua joining in, too. He could probably read minds and would know where Eri’s thoughts are going. He’s totally gonna say some strange, out-of-context references to the Reapers’ Game which would make Eri’s thoughts worse.

What kind of people did her nice best friend Shiki got mixed up with?

It’s just funny thinking of Eri being overprotective of Shiki and asking Shiki questions about what really is going on (and Shiki can’t answer without being obvious that she’s lying).

---

Yeah, this was all this post is. This wasn’t that serious and I just wanna dump of a funny thought I had. Hope that was entertaining if you read through it.

(I also sorta ship EriShiki so there’s a kinda “shippy-lens” at the very end of the post)

[pbpsbff]

3, 20, 22~

hiiiii thank u for the ask

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

ok so this is less a scene and more an entire fic concept but i literally cannot figure out a context to put it into and it hurts because i really like it

there’s a family living there now, from what he’s heard. a mom and a dad, and two daughters. maybe he should tell them about the money. but what would he even say? hey, there’s a twenty dollar bill somewhere in your walls. also, a part of me died here and i’m afraid his ghost might be wandering the halls. is he overstaying his welcome? i’m sorry if he is, by the way. i’d recommend you a nice priest for an exorcism, but he’ll probably just leave if you tell him to go.

peter thinks maybe he’ll slip a note under the door instead, but there’s too many words to fit on a page to describe the way his bones ache when he passes by the building, how he still wakes up in the morning expecting to smell burnt toast and hear may singing along to some garbage song from the 80’s she claims is the best thing she’s ever heard, or all the different creaks and moans of the apartment, all its quirks and flaws that he once knew like the back of his hand.

he could explain it all away; that faucet leaks because i was an overachieving nine year old who thought he could take it apart and put it back together without a problem, or that weird brown-ish stain on the ceiling is from when may accidentally flung spaghetti across the room, or why are you trying to rid this apartment of all the evidence of it being a home?

maybe i make it into something post nwh?? idk. this isn’t even all of it

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

i wish i could say that all my writing is really deep and there's clues everywhere but most foreshadowing in my fics is something i did on accident and then went holy shit i can use this. i'm a genius.

i will say though, the way tony rhodey and peter's dynamic changes throughout everything i have posted for r&r (and everything in my drafts oop) is probably my favorite thing ever like idk i'm a huge fan of the walking dead and the way relationships shift with each new experience and that is exactly what i wanted to do when i started the series

i was gonna look through a couple of my fics to see if i could find specific references but ao3 is fucking. DOWN and i'm too lazy to pull up my google docs. god bless

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

i reread them all the TIME omfg. a lot of the times i'm cringing at spelling or grammatical errors (and then i fix them) but idk there's something so fun about being able to go back to a fic and think wow i would've done that differently if i wrote it today. it's also fun to read through a fic i don't remember writing at ALL and being like holy shit............ banger.............. it's an ego boost i guess

[phoenixyfriend]

When Obi-Wan gets to AotC, there's also about two dozen Anakin clones on-site. They're all girls because... IDK Anakin is trans. They have a hive mind and are developmentally a few years younger than Anakin himself.

It's incredibly unsettling to Obi-Wan.

It's almost definitely a "fuck with Anakin's already fragile mental health" ploy by Palpatine, along with a "what if Jedi Black Widows, for me, a Sith Lord. Wouldn't that be neat? That would be neat."

Anakin is torn between "this freaks me out" and "GANG OF BABY SISTERS LET'S GOOOOOOO."

(I just finished reading Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger, so this is definitely inspired by that and the obligatory 'lay back in bed and daydream variations on plot points of that fic you just really enjoyed,' and also a little by Same Heart, Same Blood by loosingletters.)

They're physically like 14-16 on average, and Anakin's vibrating out of his skin with a million conflicting emotions, but when he tells Padme she's just like "oh, you have a handmaiden gang!"

I told this to @willowcrowned and she suggested:

Once Anakin decides to repress the part of him that’s weirded out and just regard them as baby sisters he gets. A little strange about it The first time one of them dies he may or may not slaughter every person he can [in response to Padme's comment] Anakin starts worrying that he needs to get them cool matching outfits

I also chatted about it with @firebirdeternal and they said:

Gang of Unsettling Smol Siblings is exactly the Karma that Anakin deserves

Do you think the Clones have a kind of Collective Name that they use at first that eventually just kind of morphs into a new last name? Skysisters or something? Like Palpatine was trying to be clever and name them like the Nightsisters.

I initially went with "functionally one person" hive-mind but I'm torn.

I think maybe they're BASICALLY one person on Kamino but drift into Separate Consciousness once they're far enough apart physically that their minds don't blend from proximity anymore.

Then they start Dating (like half of them are dating Fett clones because they grew up with these dudes, it's like childhood friends romance), and Anakin loses his mind about Protecting Them and They're Too Young.

Padme: You're nineteen and we just got married, they can date. Anakin: THEY'RE EIGHT. Padme: And the Fett clones are ten and dying for us in the field. Get them rights before you panic about their love lives.

Firebird:

it could be worse, one of them could imprint on Obi-Wan. "Anakin I promise I won't yell at you for the next five stupid things you do if you can figure out a way to stop this baby from having a crush on me" (I like the idea of Obi-wan bargaining not with "I won't be mad at you ever" because they Both Know That's Not True, and instead haggling with specific allowances. Like he's handing out Stupidity Coupons)

Please imagine Mace and Obi-Wan's personal responses to the idea of suddenly having to deal with not one, not two, but OVER TWENTY SKYWALKERS.

Plo is delighted to take one off their hands.

So is Yoda.

Willow:

Mace is like. okay suicide isn’t the Jedi way but on the other hand. i physically cannot deal with this Yoda: a skywalker, you say? one who is tall enough to reach the top shelf, you say? such a skywalker, bring me

Anakin would be given at least one because fuck you, suffer with us, but he's still a padawan so Ugh, fine, no.

I want to say one stays on Coruscant to hang out with the Guard, and ends up half-adopted by Padme. She keeps dressing up the Aniclone left with her in handmaiden outfits and sending selfies to Anakin.

"Hanging out with the little SiL!"

Anakin has so many issues about WHEN his genetic material was acquired.

And there's some confusion from the Fett clones about how much of a hive mind is normal for Jedi. They are confused that the answer is basically none, and "this is WHY nobody clones a Jedi"

ONE OF THEM STEALS BOBA FROM THE ARENA ON GEONOSIS.

Firebird:

"I have followed in our progenitor's footsteps and acquired a sibling." holds up a struggling Boba "He bites."

Willow:

Ooooo okay so if they have a sort of hive mind then they probably don’t have names other than their designations on Kamino right BUT When they SEPARATE The one that picks Boba up on Geonosis gets a name specifically for that. Okay what if the one Padmé picks up gets some variant on ‘pretty’ because she’s always being dressed up BELLE Maybe Yoda’s Ani has a name that means thief? Because obviously Yoda is using Anakin to steal sweets

So, to make the timeline work...

I don't think anyone would give Anakin one of his sisters until after he's knighted at least.

So obviously when they're doing initial placements none of the sisters go to him or Obi-Wan.

Once he's knighted, of course they're already all placed with someone, and Anakin instead gets Ahsoka. He loves Ahsoka. She is also a little sister. He said so.

At some point afterwards, one of the sisters is left without a place because the Master that was in charge of her died in the field battle.

That sister then gets placed with Obi-Wan, because he's already mostly-successfully raised one Skywalker, so he can do it again.

Anakin gets to hang out with her basically all the time.

Ahsoka is very very jealous of this girl stealing Anakin's attention.

Anakin is oblivious to the rivalry.

He asks Barriss to look after them while he's discussing Adult War Things with Luminara and Obi-Wan, and Barriss gets an eye into This Mess, which is quickly colored by Ahsoka growing a puppy crush on the lovely Miss Offee herself.

Firebird:

Ahsoka: Ah yes, my nemesis. Anisister: Ah yes, my new older sister whom I want to impress so bad.

"I will impress her by being Stoic and Competent" "Oh my god she must think she's so much better than me what a bitch"

Anakin is oblivious to most things to be fair Anakin: Laser focused precision fighting machine who can read the tiniest body movements and predict your moves seconds in advance, who also cannot understand even the most basic social nuance. I was originally writing this as to Dunk on Anakin but then I made myself sad, because none of those things are really his fault.

So you know that post about like, Sasuke and Brooding, specifically in the context of "Brooding" as it's used to refer to Nesting Chickens? Grouchy and protective and sitting on a tennis ball trying to hatch it because they're just. "These are my Babies." Anakin Broods. Baby sisters. Must protecc. "I'm actually fine and extremely deadly in combat." "MUST PROTECT."

Bad Guy: [catches Ahsoka in a Trap] Aniclone: Must rescue sister! Aniclone: [fights, is not winning fight, gets ouched] Ahsoka tearing her way out of Trap: I lived bitch. Also: stay the fuck away from her. [murders so hard]

Ahsoka catches the Protective Older Sib feels by the traditional method: "Hey, only I'm allowed to be mean to them."

Willow:

Oh Anakin has no clue what’s going on. He walks in on Ahsoka glaring at the Ani and is like!!! Little sisters!!! Bonding!!! When Ahsoka was about three seconds away from tossing her out of the airlock. Ahsoka mistakenly assumes that Barriss has a crush on the Ani, and gets even MORE jealous.

Obi-Wan is like oh god. I can’t take care of an Anakin going through puberty again. He’s great with periods and other stuff because he read about a billion books. He is TERRIBLE with everything else, as he was the first time.

Barriss is like???? YOU'RE BOTH CHILDREN, PLEASE CALM DOWN, I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

IDK how old Obi-Wan's Aniclone is, probably physically the same age as Ahsoka?

Per @atagotiak on discord:

Also something something, similarities btw Anakin and Obi-Wan where like. "Am I a parent? That seems uncomfortable, I'm too young to be a dad to a kid this age, I mean I'm cool with being a mentor/caretaker but..."

Obi-Wan can't even sidestep parenthood this time.

"Is Anakin basically your dad?" "Uhhhhhh" [Muffled discussion] "So Obi-Wan is your dad." "Okay!" "WAIT NO I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS"

Ahsoka: She's stealing my brother, that BITCH. Obi-Wan's Aniclone: new sister new sister new sister gotta make a good impression

Firebird:

I feel like the Sister Squad would make very effective interstellar espionage agents Even like, kind of by accident. They just get encouraged to branch out in their interests and figure out what they want to do with their lives and end up all over the dang place, and since they're all pretty dang competent they tend to gravitate towards Important Positions wherever they end up. Except for one sister who just retires to raise Space Sheep.

I like that in this AU Palpatine is just like "I will create an army of Loyal Murderers who will obey my every whim and also be a big psychological lever on my Other Pet Murderer," and then they all just Baby Duckling imprint on the first Jedi to be nice to them instead and he has to just be like "Wait no not like that."

AND one of them Steals Boba

I want Obi-Wan's Aniclone to start dating Fives. All the sisters judge her for it, because he's a Goof. A very competent, ARC Trooper goof! But a goof.

Not as goofy as Anakin, though.

Firebird:

Who expects a clone of Anakin Skywalker to not make questionable lifelong romantic choices impulsively?

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.