#it felt so weird tbh like only my family calls me that

[dokyeomini]

all my co-workers are so fucking nice fr 🥹🩷

[bbyobbyo]

seventeen as dads headcanons

content: reader is married to svt, normative(?) family structure, literally just unhinged thoughts, not proofread lol

note: was trying to write an actual fic but then got distracted sorry, dadventeen brainrot is so real

Seungcheol

Super protective “don’t touch my family” dad outwardly

All of his kids’ friends are straight up SCARED of him

But within the household he's the one sneaking ice cream when you say no, albeit guiltily

Shopping trips with him will always result in buying something for them and he is very willing to be taken advantage of

“Babe if I can’t spoil them now, they’re gonna grow up and move out before we know it!”

Tries his best to be handy around the house, but probably makes it worse, ends up calling Mingyu to come fix it

Jeonghan

DEFINITELY a “go ask your mom” dad

This man not only powerless, he doesn't even want the power, he's just here to have a good time and if you say they can't, then sorry kiddo

You can’t tell me that he doesn’t bring up becoming a family prank channel at least once a week

LOVES bragging to everyone else about his kid’s achievements, cannot shut up about them to anyone in a 5 foot radius tbh

His kids definitely talk to him about everything, which is great because he is SO nosy.

Has a list of all their best friends, enemies, and crushes at school somewhere on his notes app for future reference when they come to him for advice

Joshua

The REAL practical joke dad, admittedly made them cry a few times when they were younger and felt really bad about it

Perfect sweet husband and father in image, all of his kids know he’s actually lame af

Dominates the summer barbeques, UNDISPUTED GRILLMASTER

Super dependable, will drop everything if his family needs him and never goes back on his word

Gives surprisingly good fashion advice

Jun

Definitely walks around the neighborhood with his baby in a sling carrier strapped to his front, POINTS AT EVERYTHING OF INTEREST

When they start learning how to speak he adopts all his baby’s weird mannerisms (it started off as a cute joke but then realized he couldn’t stop)

Cries at every baby milestone until they’re like 10

Will not stop bringing up embarrassing childhood moments, especially in front of their kids’ friends/significant others

Cuts fruit for them instead of apologizing

Hoshi

Will fully ally himself with his kids

Like legit would do anything for them. ANYTHING.

I’m talking borderline go to his kid's school to beat up their hypothetical bullies himself sort of dad

The kids can always count on him to say yes if you say no

Absolutely DEVASTATED when they grow out of the tiger stuff he buys for them and become angsty teens

“What do you mean tigers aren’t cool? Do you not love your old man anymore?”

Wonwoo

Quiet doting dad

Definitely more affectionate when the kids are younger but gets into the awkward advice-giving stage when they grow up

LAME DAD JOKES GALORE, groaning is a regular activity in this household

Tries to google basic algebra every time his kids ask for help on math homework because he doesn’t want to admit he forgot everything

Chaotic af unsupervised. “Guess we’re having pizza again tonight kiddos” kinda dad because he cannot and should not cook

Jihoon

Another quiet dad, but make it savage

I feel like he would just love roasting his kids (affectionately of course)

And always overwhelmingly acts of service so his kids know they are loved

Allowance randomly appearing under their pillow, their favorite foods magically stocked in the fridge, always relenting to one last bedtime story no matter how tired he is

Would let you have final say but he makes it really clear he’s on their side and empathizes with them but its out of his hands

“Next time just don’t get caught, okay?” *winks*

Minghao

Loves loves loves just spending time with his babies

Doesn’t matter what he’s doing he just wants to be in the same room as them or cuddling and holding them

Emphasizes equality in your relationship so his kids can grow up with those values and learn to respect others

TURNS EVERYTHING INTO A LIFE LESSON OH MY GOD

Doesn’t believe in allowances but will cave and literally buy them anything they want if they ask

Would rather die than miss any important event (competition, speech, recital, talent show, graduation, etc.)

Mingyu

Absolute super dad, what can’t he do? Nonstop home improvement projects, cooks anything his kids are craving, offers to drive everyone everywhere

But also the whiniest dad ever lol constantly complains about people “ruining his system”

Absolutely FUCKS at the school bake sales, earns them twice the target fundraiser amounts because he's dilf material and knows how to get the moms to spill their pockets

Likes to have the final say, but you’re both usually on the same page in regards to discipline so his kids aren’t getting away with anything

Just the most supportive dad in the universe, the kids learn to never take him for granted

Seokmin

You already know his kids are gonna be spoiled rotten. He will be the favorite parent by default sorry I don't make the rules!!

His arms are the very definition of a safe space

Leaves all the discipline to you because he cannot keep a straight face when delivering a lecture (one time he made them cry and also ended up crying because he felt so bad)

Does so much embarrassing shit just to cheer his kids up when they have a bad day, acts surprised when they tell him he's cringe

Such a pushover that they are probably gonna make fun of him when they're older, but that's okay because they know there's no universe in which their dad will stop loving them

Seungkwan

As long as he can pick them up still, his kids are never on the ground for too long

Two words: SPORTS. DAD.

He could practically captain the cheerleading teams at their school with how many events he's been to

Knows all of his kids’ friends parents, they all get together and have coffee once a month actually

Nags nonstop and complains about everything he has to do for them, but is always diligent and does it without question

Gets so pouty when they start getting embarrassed to show affection, he WILL get his cheek kisses if it's the last thing he does!!

Vernon

Chillest dad in existence?!?

Literally as long as his kids are safe he doesn't give a single fuuuuckkk

“Sleepover? Yeah, call me when you're done and I'll pick you up.”

He WILL argue with you if he doesn't think there's a good reason to say no to them

So cute and encouraging to all their weird hobbies and phases throughout the years. “Lemme see” and “Really? Show me” are regular phrases in his vocabulary

His kids are definitely gonna inherit his legendary facial expressions afnngjdg

Chan

Super affectionate and doting, but also quite strict with them at times

“I just want the best for you, I want to see you succeed”

HAS A PHOTO OF THEM READY AT ANY TIME, lockscreen is a different shot of his kids every day and is eager to show it off even if no one asked

Not so subtly signs his kid up for dance lessons

Just the most encouraging dad ever, makes sure that they know making mistakes are a part of life and that he will always love them no matter what

[songmingisthighs]

Missing Out

group : ateez

pairing : dilf!mingi × reader

genre : smut

wc : 4.1 k

tw : mdni, explicit smut; daddy kink, teasing, dirty talk, age gap (mingi's like mayhaps at least a decade older, but both are still within legal limits), thigh riding, spitting, alcohol consumption (not to the point of being drunk, it's just for vibes and... spitting lmao),

a/n : frfr i hope he doesn't see this fic because God i would not be able to defend myself. tbh i planned on posting this on mingi's bitthday but i got shit happening to me. shit without my consent and I'm just trying to ride the stress like gandalf hopped up on cocaine riding smaug. so ykw i decided to post this on my birthday instead lmao. special thanks to @kitten4sannie for listening to me drop some ideas while i was on a road trip, i did some adjustments but it's still sexually frustrated dilf!mingi this fic is finally out so i hope you and everyone enjoy it <3

a/n/n : i take no responsibilities for any calf cramp that may or may not happen but alyssa, i still blame you for the great leg cramp at ass o'clock

a/n/n/n : my birthday sucks because it felt more like public service than anything but i got ticket to go to singapore again so i'll be reunited with my little brother and little sisters soon✌️ i'm raising money for my mental wellbeing which is so totally code for i'm trying to find a way to make my shituation better by making myself just the slightest bit happier after today's shenanadoodles

buy me coffee ?

After the day Mingi had, the cold drink in his hand felt like the reward he deserved. It was only then that Mingi realized why people always say that the Family Court is rough. Still, of course, it was extra rough for him because his ex-wife, the horned creature incarnate (a goat, not the devil), had dragged his name through the mud just to get the maximum alimony because she was a narcissistic bum with no life skill to fall back to as if Mingi was the one who told her to quit her job as a dental hygienist when they first got married.

During the mediation meetings and court proceedings, she took all of the potshots she could While no one took her seriously, it still pained Mingi because the more she and her lawyer attacked him, calling out all of his insecurities and questioning his character, the more obvious it was that Mingi had wasted 9 years of his life on this loser and he missed out on all of the marital milestones. The main sore spot was having kids. She argued that putting her body through pregnancy was out of the question because there were risks that could cause her body to look weird in the future and it's inhumane how a woman's body had to contort in such a way to accommodate another living being. But when her breast implant popped when she slammed the car door too hard, it was 'a normal occurrence'.

As much as his friend Yunho told him not to, Mingi couldn't help but wallow in the time he absolutely WASTED on the bitch only to be screwed over. The only good thing that came out of the divorce was the fact that he got out of it without having to pay alimony because his ex-wife had become too cocky with her cards. But still, Mingi had to give her the car, the savings account (that wasn't much compared to anything considering she had drained it to accommodate her filler addiction and alcohol dependency), and Tony Son, their personal trainer, the one thing Mingi could credit her because she had been the one who introduced him to the man who was able to sculpt his body to perfection.

"Is this seat taken?"

Mingi snapped his head to the side to see a woman younger than he, dressed in a tight-bodiced red sparkly dress that showed just enough cleavage for it to be classy rather than trashy and the A-line satin skirt stopped just three fingers width atop her knees. Slowly, Mingi nodded and gestured to the seat on his right side wordlessly. It wasn't until the woman flagged down the bartender and ordered her drink did Mingi questioned why she sat next to him when there were other seats in the bar.

"So, are you alone?" she asked, striking up a conversation with Mingi which honestly caught him by surprise because he had been told that he had a resting bitch face that doubled in intensity when he wasn't in the mood and he was doubling in his bad mood. "Yeah... I am, so..." his words allude to him wanting to be alone, but there was something about the person next to him that intrigued him so much so that his eyes seemed to be glued to her. Just the sight of her drinking her vodka cranberry made Mingi's eyes travel from her face down to her lap, watching the way she moved so gracefully. "So... You don't mind my asking why a man as handsome as you are would be sitting alone with a scowl on his face," she pointed out, forcing Mingi to consciously unfurrow his eyebrows and fake taking a sip of his drink, "I'm not scowling, I'm just tired and pissed off for wasting 9 years on a selfish bitch that deprived me of anything I want in life," he spat venomously, even the slight mention of his ex sent a really unpleasant taste in his mouth. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?" She pouted, inching closer to Mingi as somewhat of a signal. Noticing this, Mingi scoffed and shook his head but he still entertained the woman, "Got a time machine to help me undo the past 9 years?" "No, but maybe I can give you what your ex couldn't."

You couldn't help but bite your bottom lip when the look of shock on Mingi's face melted into intrigue. You had been watching him for an hour, sitting all alone, nursing his one drink as he toyed with his ring before chucking it into his breast pocket. Thank God he did because you were not about to approach a potentially spoken-for man. It took you a while to get substantial evidence of his status and it wasn't just because you were distracted by his plump ass in those slacks and the matching suit jacket and slightly unbuttoned black dress shirt didn't help your case.

"Little girl, I think I'm a bit too... Far for your reach," Mingi pointed out, raising an eyebrow at you as he wasn't sure that you knew what you were offering him. Mirroring him, you raised your eyebrow and shifted so that you faced him fully as you raised one leg and cross it over the other, successfully inviting Mingi to get a glimpse of more skin. "You don't know me or what I can do, sir," you smirked challengingly, now openly inviting him to poke you further.

You were delighted when you saw Mingi's jaw clench and throat bob after you called him sir. It was proof to you that Mingi had some sort of inclination of being in control and his little confession about not getting what he wanted from his ex-wife might be a glimpse of the kind of fun you could get from him. So without hesitation, you decided that you were going home with him.

Surprisingly, Mingi responded positively by leaning in to cup your chin and pull you close, just a wispy breath away from having your lips meet and you so desperately wanted to taste his because they just looked so damn juicy and plump. "You don't want to know all the things I've been deprived of... Baby." Your eyes darken and your legs crossed tighter to suppress the sudden arousal washing over your core, excited at the confirmation that Mingi was playing into your games just as you had wanted. All you needed to do was lock this down. So you let your hand lay on his thigh, squeezing it suggestively and enjoying the feeling of his muscle tensing underneath you each time your hand slid closer to his crotch to the point that your nail was scratching the inner side of his thigh just right. Despite being physically affected by you, Mingi still maintained eye-contact, daring you to poke his button just right.

"Yes, I do... Daddy."

In the blink of an eye, Mingi smashed his lips on you and all of the oxygen was knocked out of your lungs in one go. His lips were soft but the way he used them was rough yet calculated. You could taste the smoky whiskey on his tongue as he slipped it inside your mouth. Little did you know, he too, was enjoying the way you tasted. Your lip gloss had a sweetness to it that made him wonder if you're the type to plan things or if it was just a happy coincidence. He also took note of how you allowed him to lead you and the more he asserted himself onto you with every nibble of his lip and every caress of his tongue, showing that you're more on the submissive side and he likes it. A lot. The more you felt pleasure, the more you pleasured him back as evidenced by your hand rubbing against his raging boner.

Mingi smirked at the way you whimpered when he finally pulled away from you to slap a couple bills on the counter before he got off the stool, pulling you along with him. You wobbled slightly but Mingi immediately pulled you flush on his chest and despite having just made out with him, you found the gesture very hot. "Wanna go see if you can keep up with the list of things I missed out on?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Mingi must be some kind of a business owner because no way he would have had a rather impressive office where you found yourself in. Well, on top of him on his couch, grinding your panty-less core against his thigh with your top down, allowing the older man to ogle at your tits as you tried to make yourself cum.

"Is that the best you can do?" Mingi taunted, circling his crystal glass which produced a tinkling sound from the ice in the drink he poured as soon as you reached his home. "Daddy, I want you to touch me," you whined but your hip was still relentlessly moving after making a big deal of how his thighs were so strong and you wanted to sit on them like a throne. So instead of just sitting, Mingi told you to make yourself useful and prep your pussy without his help and he wanted you to do it by riding his thigh. His thick, glorious thigh. "Don't you want to touch me, daddy?" you teased, cupping your boobs and tweaking your own nipples whilst throwing your head back, making a show out of it just to get Mingi to touch you. Sure, Mingi was intrigued, but he knew damn well that he was holding the reigns and he had to hold himself back from jumping at the opportunity to completely ravish you too soon. "I do, baby, but you're being a brat right now and refusing to listen to me. Had I wanted that, I would've stayed with my ex-wife." Your head snapped back up at the mention of his ex-wife and you glared at his smug smirking face, "You have me half naked on your lap and you still mentioned your ex-wife?" you gathered your skirt in your hand, exposing your cunt to Mingi's eyes and slowed your pace to a prolonged drag that left long, dark stain courtesy of your arousal.

Finding your petulance adorable, Mingi chuckled and pulled you in for a searing kiss with one hand cupping your chin and the other slapping you on the ass as if telling you to speed up your movement. "You're an adorable little doll and I'm gonna break you," he muttered against your lips before you could reply to him, Mingi tugged your hair back as he casually took a sip from his drink. The action made you yelp and Mingi swiftly leaned over and spit the drink into your mouth and clamped your jaw shut. "Swallow," he commanded and as you came down from being surprised, you stared into Mingi's eyes. At first, you only stared at him, feigning defiance just for fun and Mingi found that both intriguing and annoying. His grip moved to tightly grasp your jaw and he growled, "Swallow. It." He demanded in a stern voice that made your panties more damp as your cunt clench, leaving you unable to do anything more than whine and swallow the burning liquid. Mingi found you very mesmerizing even on an act as simple as you taking heed of his words. The stray spit and alcohol that trickled from the corners of your lips enhanced the glimmer of your smudged lipstick and lipgloss combo, turning Mingi on with how effortlessly sultry you looked. He was down and he was down bad. He wasn't even sure if he was down because Once the liquid was no longer there, you rolled out your tongue to proudly show your obedience and Mingi let out a shuddered breath seeing you just blindly following his orders like the good puppet you are.

"Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me."

In a flash, Mingi flipped you both around so that you were trapped underneath him with your head strategically on the armrest. The elevation allowed you to watch as Mingi dragged a hand down your body as if you were a work of art. "All this time... I was missing a lot all this time, that bitch took nine years out of me and gave me nothing," Mingi shuddered both in anger and in arousal. The contrasting thoughts between being so angry at his former partner and the excitement of being rewarded by being able to ravish you felt like waves crashing inside him. It was thrilling. It was exciting. It got his adrenaline pumping and God, he felt alive. "Poor baby," you purred all the while slowly popping the buttons of his dress shirt off to reveal the soft skin underneath, "You're so frustrated, It's a good thing I'm here now huh?"

You swung your leg up and used the tip of your toe to tilt Mingi's chin upwards maintaining a somewhat neutral expression but the twinkle in your eyes indicated clear intrigue. "Tell me all the things you want to do. What do you want most?" the question made Mingi roll his eyes back and he grabbed your leg by your ankle. "You nasty slut, you want to have an older cock so bad you're enticing me with empty promises, huh?" He mumbled against the skin of your leg, trailing his lips down from the heel and lower to your calf as his body followed down until he eventually stopped at the mid-section of your inner thigh. You helped him by flipping your skirt up, exposing your cunt wholly to him and slotting the leg you lifted on his shoulder, "Empty promises? I want to give you whatever you want daddy, and in order for me to be able to do that, I need to know what it is."

Thinking that he had nothing to lose anyway, Mingi smirked and decided to test you. "I want a baby," he stated, "I want to put my baby in you," he said oh so casually as if he hadn't had his fingers poking and prodding your cunt like they just belonged there. Truthfully speaking, Mingi was expecting you to push him off and ran away screaming because what kind of a hookup just casually dropped a bomb as big as he did?

But it seemed like Mingi's luck was turning around for the better because you replied by reaching forward to free his cock from his pants, trying as best as you could to suppress the surprise at Mingi's size (but failing as evidenced by the way your eyes bulged slightly and your tongue peeking out to lick your bottom lip in hunger) before you leaned back and opened your legs widely as an invitation for him. "Then do it, fuck me so hard and dumb and deep that I'd have no other choice but to have your baby," you smiled up at him. Mingi could only stare at you in shock initially, not really knowing what you meant until you whined and pulled him closer using the leg that was hooked on his shoulder. "Daddy, don't make me wait too long. Come on, put a baby in me!" you pleaded, cunt throbbing with eagerness to feel Mingi's cock stretching you now that you already caught a glimpse.

The shock melted away from Mingi's face and even as he was guiding his cock to your core, he was still carefully watching your face, not wanting to waste any twitch or shift in your face from feeling him but also he was trying to be careful in case you showed him any indication of regret or if you changed your mind. But the way you whined and rolled your hips so your wet cunt could meet his cock more gave him the green light.

"You dirty slut," Mingi grunted before he shoved his length inside you in one fluid movement. The accumulating arousal from you riding his thigh provided proper lubrication but his sheer size was not something you're used to so your body tensed up at the impact. "F-fuck, daddy, y-you-" "Am I tearing you apart, baby? Are you being split into two on daddy's fat cock?" he asked in faux worry that was just him being condescending towards you. But you don't care, you found it hot even when he talked down to you as if you were nothing but his plaything. "Yes, yes, daddy, I'm being split open on your cock but I love it! I love it so much!" you moaned, hands clawing at his skin, causing red streaks to appear from the pressure of your nails, "Fuck, I want more!"

With that, Mingi pushed your legs up by your thighs, exposing more of your lower half to him. "Be daddy's good girl and hold these open, I wanna see your pussy taking my cock raw," he hissed, eyes zeroing on the way your puffy lips split open to accommodate his size. Carefully, as if assessing a great piece of art, Mingi watched attentively The view almost brought tears to his eyes but he channeled the somewhat endearing moment into fucking you stupid into the mattress.

Each drag of Mingi's cock felt like fire against your inner walls. Although there was a slight discomfort with each movement, the added pleasure of being filled like you had never before made you addicted.

If you thought you were enjoying yourself, Mingi was very close to combusting and he was trying his best to not cum too soon as he didn't wanna be branded as the geezer who came too early. But he couldn't help it, not with the way both his ego and his cock were stroked. It was as if you were made for him and he felt that the moment he entered your sopping cunt. So Mingi shifted his focus to you instead, working to get you to cum first.

"Come on baby, cum for daddy. I need you to cum first so you'd be ripe and open for me to fill you up," Mingi huffed, pressing his pointy nose against the junction of your neck that sent tingles down your spine, "We need to do our best to make sure that you'd be good and pregnant, right?" The weight of his words caused your head to spin as the thought of him filling you full for his own pleasure filled your mind. "Yes, yes daddy, make me cum please," you whined into his ears, your body reacting almost automatically by rolling your hips against his own to match his speed and desire. Mingi growled hungrily and his pace quickened significantly as the impact got harder. You were sure that after this your ass would be different shades of red and blue but you couldn't care less. Especially if Mingi wanted to do more rounds with you, you'd gladly wear the bruises like a badge of honor.

"Fuck, you're so hot like this, you're so hot when you're willing and submissive for me," Mingi grunted, even verging on whining into your ears because you just felt so good to him but he held firm, "Are you close, baby? Are you cumming soon?" Lucky for him, you nodded hurriedly, confirming that you were close. Your brain had been marinating in the dizzying arousal that it was embarrassingly quick for you to nearly reach your climax in a rather short time. However, your response was deemed lacking to Mingi who wanted to hear a verbal response from you. Mingi was quick to slap you hard on your left tit as a punishment, feeling the need to chastise you for simplifying your response.

The words died on Mingi's tongue and his hips sharply halted to a stop when he saw you yelp and shudder before coming completely undone underneath him, writhing pathetically as your nails grazed his skin, leaving red streaks for Mingi to show off for days on end. His eyes darken when he saw tears pooled in your own eyes before dropping, creating the illusion of your eyes sparkling which served a rather complex combination of innocence and sinful. "M-M- Daddy," you whimpered in almost a hushed tone, barely comprehensible but to Mingi the sound was thunderous in Mingi's ears, ringing, because his baby girl needed him. His baby girl wanted him. His baby girl who's willing to give him anything he could ask for was longing for him. So who is he to deny you?

Seeing you in such a vulnerable state seemed to unlock something primal in Mingi because while you were reeling down from your orgasm, Mingi was instead put into some sort of a trance. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, slightly hoping that he could taste your sweetness in the air, and his hips restarted with a pace so hard and quick, for a moment you forgot that Mingi was a human.

The pleasure from your orgasm tripled with the additional friction continuously given by Mingi whose head was flooded with the thought of truly possibly getting you pregnant from this first time. Not that he was planning on only fucking you once, not after he felt how good you made him feel both emotionally and physically. He was planning to pamper you to death and maybe that was the sexually frustrated side in him but he didn't care, he didn't care how crazy he was because you were the one who made him crazy.

The sound of hips snapping together in a rhythm accompanied by your drunk-like moans sounded like a symphony in Mingi's ears. "F-fuck baby, I'm gonna fill you up now," Mingi grunted, his eyes closing and his forehead dropping to your shoulder, "I'm gonna fill you up with my seed to the brim and you're gonna be a good girl and keep it all in so my baby can grow safely inside of you, okay?" He whispered so intimately against your shoulder that both your lips and cunt wept. You wouldn't be surprised if there was a pool underneath you after you were done and you won't hesitate to ask for more. "Cum, daddy. Cum inside me. Fill me up so hard and full like you promised me!" You whined, your hands snaking around his shoulders to hold tight as the overstimulation caused a tingling pain that made your toes curl while Mingi was getting such a high from his ego being fed.

"Fuck, baby girl, this is it, I'm gonna put my baby in you!" Mingi grunted and thrusted, once, twice, thrice, before his hips stuttered and you felt a gush of warmth spilling deep inside your cunt. The physical feeling of being filled up made your eyes roll into your head and the realization of what just happened made you blush as if you weren't whoring for his cock not 10 minutes ago.

As Mingi slowly came down from his high, his mind cleared up and he was able to pepper kisses from your shoulders, up your neck, along your jawline, and then gently all over your face. The contrast of the sweetness of the older man and the nasty act you both just did made you suddenly turn all giggly and shy. "Aww, come on, are you trying to get away from me?" Mingi smirked, trying to chase another kiss from your lips but you kept dodging him, "That's pretty absurd considering I still have my cock inside of you, plugging you full." Your eyes widened at the vulgarity of his chosen words and you couldn't help but smack him on the shoulder but fail to hold back a giggle, "Don't say it like that!" "Like what? Like the way it is?" Mingi teased, pushing himself up to trail a finger on your stomach which made your breath hitch and your muscle to tense, "I need to make sure you really do get pregnant so you can give me my baby just like I wanted," his voice trailed as his fingers drew patterns on your skin almost lovingly and the nonsensical side of you wanted to believe that he was showing his affection to you. You figured that there was only one way to find out.

Without missing a beat, you took his finger that was tracing your skin into your mouth and start licking around as if it was a lollipop, effectively causing Mingi's attention to shift to your face and his cock to twitch inside you. "Who said we're only gonna try this once, daddy? You're gonna fuck me as much as you like until I'm good and pregnant."

The smirk that bloomed on Mingi's face was devilish and almost menacing, showing his genuine intention to get wamhat he wanted.

"I hope you'd never ask. I'm gonna fuck you all night long and you're gonna be a good girl and take it all with no complaint."

As if you'd say no.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

permalist :

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[channelinglament]

Sksjdjjkskskskskksk

I know I should be focusing more on reqs, but I had to take this off my mind skskksskks (btw I'm rn in the underground belobog part of story) (I kinda called it SAHSR as in self aware hsr)

☆•°Self-Aware Honkai Star Rail°•☆

Tw: no proofread, mentioned drowning(but it didn't happen), war, hate, religious themes, self awareness, kinda ooc, grammar mistakes because I am typing this at 12AM instead of sleeping, isolation

So, you know how in the beginning we play as Kafka? Yeah, I'm pretty sure she felt your presence. At first she was kinda weirded out, and was on guard. Who knows what you would do to her, while controlling her?

Oh look, you're helping her.. Hmm, maybe you aren't that bad after all. Still on guard, but thankful. With you she seems to fight more faster and is more efficient.

Same goes with Silver Wolf. They don't seem to mind your presence that much.

You even helped them to pick a trailblazer! But after picking them, you left Kafka and Silver Wolf. They didn't really mind it. They have been doing good without you, so it should be fine!

Meanwhile, the trailblazer is confused. First, they don't remember anything except their own name(or the name you gave them), then Kafka leaves and someone is watching over them. Oh how confusing and strange. But they caught early on that you're helping them. You're not an enemy.

During their "adventures" trailblazer starts thinking of you as a family. Kinda annoying since you control their body most the time (unless it's a cutscene) but you're cool nonetheless. They see you as a safespace.

Meanwhile March 7th and Dan Heng don't understand what is happening. Who is controlling them? Why after they met trailblazer? Why are you controlling them?

I think March would, just like the trailblazer, like you and find you annoying at the same time. Dan Heng would stay on guard (but also see you as safe space/nice person to hang with). Not as much on guard as when you first...met but still. It'll take him time to get off guard. The more time you spend with them, the more familiar they are with you, the more they like you.

Why annoyed, you may ask? Well, imagine you want to.. for example fight, but someone controls your movement and does it instead of you. Or goes the other way (aka exploring) instead of the path you've originally chosen.

They certainly would like when you make them stronger. No matter who is on your team, they'll like it (I mean, who wouldn't?)

But.. sometimes, even if they like you, they get tired of always being on the team. Thank you, yes, but they need to rest too. They mostly rest when you're offline, since..time kinda stops there. But when you're online? damnnn they walk and fight so much.. (I fr walk everywhere to find enemies to fight, so uhh, if you're like me, they would be tired and maybe annoyed at it)

I think some characters would even hate you. It doesn't apply to the main trio btw, they'll always like you. The reason some may hate you is that they have so much stuff to do, yet you choose them to walk around and fight all day. They're even supposed to be here! (For example, using Herta when fighting someone in Belobog)

If they could, they would scold you. But sadly game doesn't allow that.

It only appears in normal, self aware circumstances. Aka a normal self aware. Some like you, some hate you. You just kinda exist. (That one strange friend/sibling, y'know?)

But what if they would see you as a God? Something divine? Like in SAGAU?

Well, you're doomed, what can I say?

Everyone would want to be in your team. Oh, poor Gacha system.

They would hate it tbh. While in just self aware some would avoid you on purpose (aka busy characters), here? Where everyone sees you as a divine being? Oh dear..

Imagine several people trying to come through a single door, all at the same time? Yeahhh that's what happens. The standard and limited banner would literally fist fight while trying to get "home" to you. So don't be surprised if nobody comes home, at all.

But some may cooperate, and you may get more 5☆ or 4☆! Basically characters you wanted.

Those on your team would be proud! Mostly if the main trio are still there. Some would be envious of trailblazer. You're always with them, even if they're not on your team.(how could you?!)

Kafka and Silverwofl would be devastated. I'm pretty sure Silverwolf could possibly destroy the gacha system and come home. Only her (and maybe Kafka)

People in Belobog would hate the lore and everything game makes them do what they do. They're so happy they met you! You're here to save them! They don't want to fight you, so please don't be mad at them.

Honestly, if you were to get isekai'ed into hsr, I would recommend to the normal au.

The ones who hate you would just tell you off and never interact again, while your family/friends would hang out with you. Plus you could help a lot in Astral Express!

Maybe get Himeko and Mr.Yang some tea? Or help Pom Pom with whatever he needs?

If you get into the Worshipping Lunatics au..? I feel sorry for you.. You would never rest-

Whether you choose to stay at Astrak Express, or Herta's *I forgot the name* or whatever, they are all ready to wage war against each other. And if you decided to stay somewhere, that means you clearly favor them and their place more! Those who were chosen are happy/smug. While other try to improve their place/copy the place you've chosen to make you reconsider and stay with them.

The amount of gifts.. try to not drown okay?

They might even all agree to keep you in one place. Lock you in there and hope you won't be mad at them.

That's all for now

(Gotta work on reqs now or in the morning, they're still open btw)

[strniohoeee]

Hidden In The Shadows Pt. 3

Read part 1 and part 2 here

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: It’s been a month and all Y/N keeps hitting is dead end after dead end. Not only that but she seems to have formed a friendship with the strange boy. Will this hinder her research??

Warnings⚠️: Nothing really tbh, anxiety inducing parts, talks of cults briefly, psycho Matt, oh and one last thing SMUT, submissive-ish Matt??

Songs for imagine: Lonesome Town- Ricky Nelson and This Haunted House- Loretta Lynn

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Taglist: @gamermattsgf @lacysturniolo @franticroads @creamoncreamoncream2 @melanch0lybby @anlqq @cindylcuwho @nicksmainbitch @riverwritez @s7urnfilms (idk I might’ve missed some people🥺)

There’s a place where lovers go

To cry their troubles

And they call it Lonesome Town

Where the broken hearts stay

The rain trickled down the window as the pen in my hand ghosted over the papers scattered all over the small desk. My eyes glued to the rain, watching the dirt become mud and the grass drown.

Vigorously tapping the pen back and forth on the paper clad desk as my leg bounced quickly. Many thoughts running through my head, but none that could be placed properly.

I was a full month into my research and for some reason I was way more confused now than before stepping foot into this town. I thought I found out a lot more, but it’s either dead ends or more weird shit going on.

I was pretty much hanging out with Matt everyday, it took a while for his parents to warm up to me; but the more he brought me around the more they got comfortable.

What royally sucked was that I was becoming so close to them that I felt weird asking any questions about the dark history of this town. I truly felt bad and like I was hiding something from them.

Professor Wayne wrote to me pretty much everyday, and all I could tell him was how nervous I was to dig further. Scared to unearth something that might actually keep me trapped here.

Letting out a long sigh I slid back from the desk letting out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding in. Slipping my slippers on, I shuffled down to the kitchen.

Opting once again for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some water and some leftover popcorn from the previous night.

Sitting alone in silence at the table I let my mind wander. Glancing over at the back door as the rain pattered against it. I was feeling pretty useless right about now.

It’s so crazy how you can go from feeling invincible to pretty much a useless piece of shit. I felt like I had no purpose here. Endlessly wasting my time day in and day out.

I wasn’t sure if it was the shitty weather that made me feel this way, or if I was actually wasting my time. Rolling my eyes I took another bite of my sandwich. Blinking slowly as I chewed the thick piece that was in my mouth.

I used this time to look around the kitchen. I mean this was in fact an old house with…. I’m to presume many previous owners. Smiling gently my brain painted the image of an innocent family spending their holidays in this kitchen. Laughing, feasting, talking…. It’s so crazy how things come and go, including people.

My eyes scanned in front of me, and it was only then that I saw the gold reflection of a doorknob. My eyes lit up! How did I forget about the basement? A whole month here and I never once thought to check the basement.

Washing down the last bit of my sandwich with my water I placed my dishes in the sink before walking over to the door.

Grabbing the door knob I twisted and pulled, but to my surprise I was shocked by a thud. The door was locked. Shaking my head I walked over to the kitchen light switch flicking it on and I walked back over to the door.

My eyes squinted once I saw that not only was the door locked but the whole door had been painted over. A shitty light green might I add. It’s like when you move into an old apartment and maintenance repaints but they painted over light switches, the breaker box and even bugs….

“Ughhh everytime I think I find something it’s another dead end” I say out loud banging a flat hand against the door

But then I figured I could ask Matt to somehow break this door down for me. Sighing I dragged my feet back to the kitchen table sinking into the wooden chair. I threw my head back and groaned, rubbing my hands over my face

My head shot up as I looked at the kitchen walls…. That same shitty green color. My brows immediately furrowed and my back straightened.

To the naked eye this seems normal, but I remembered something. The listing didn’t show the kitchen being this color.

Scooting back harshly I bolted up the stairs rounding the corner as I ran into my room. Breathing heavy as I opened safari on my laptop.

Opening Zillow I went to the listing for this house, my eyes scanned the page before getting to the end.

“Last updated by realtor on 05/13/2023”

Rummaging through the papers on my desk I found my phone, opening up the phone calls I went back to May. I called Beaufort on May 16th…..3 days after the pictures were updated on the house.

Two and a half weeks is more than enough time to paint evidence over…. Especially incriminating evidence. I swear the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up.

Opening a new tab I decided to search up this address and literally the only thing that came up was the Zillow page. This house is so fucking old and not a single thing pops up on it. The next best place would be the public library and lord knows if some weird shit went on in this house all those files would be burned or blocked out on the database.

Slamming my laptop screen down I ran my hands through my hair. I opted to go back downstairs. Swinging every drawer and cabinet door open in hopes I’d find the basement door key.

No surprise I didn’t find it, but I decided to take a knife and cut through the paint like that one scene in Coraline. And to make it even creepier I’m sure my fate would be ending up like poor Coraline….

Pulling and rattling at the door knob some more, I kicked the door once I realized I couldn’t get it open. And this wasn’t something I could go to Beaufort with….. I probably shouldn’t even be going to Matt with this, but whatever.

Feeling defeated, I decided to shower and relax for a bit. About two hours later my phone rang, and it was Matt calling from his bedroom phone. Can’t believe this guy still has a landline…. They really live like it’s the 80s here.

“Hello Matt” I said placing the phone to my ear

“Hi darling” he says on the other line, playfully rolling my eyes at the pet name

“You rang?” I asked as I looked at my nails

“Ahh yes, well you see I’m actually relatively bored this fine evening. Want to hang out?” He asked me

“I’m pretty bored myself. I’d love to hang out” I said as I sat up

“Alright sweetheart I’ll be over in like an hour, sounds good?” He asked me

“Yeah sounds great” I stated to him

Matt was so funny and awkward you could tell he didn’t really speak to girls because he didn’t even know how to end a call. He’d just hang up and I’d usually crack up laughing as I shook my head.

I decided to clean up my room. Hiding my paperwork and laptop under the bed. Thank god there was a skirting around it to hide everything or else I’d be royally screwed.

Sitting at my desk I saw Matt flicked his bedroom light to let me know he was coming over. I got up from my seat and headed downstairs. I held the door open as Matt made a run for it in the rain.

“FAST FAST” I yelled to him as he hopped onto the porch

“It’s raining cats and dogs out there” he said slipping his boots off at the front door

“Ew…you talk so old southern style” I said scrunching my nose up

“Well…” he said cocking his eyebrows at me while pointing down his body

“Sorry! Sometimes I forget you really are southern” I said laughing

“It’s alright darling, hope you’re hungry I brought dinner” he said holding up a huge lunch box.

“I actually am” I said nodding my head as we made our way to the kitchen table

“Okay so mama made her famous roast, with some carrots, corn and grilled potatoes” he said as he pulled the Tupperware out of the lunch box

“That sounds sooo good, tell your mom I said thank you” I told him

“Will do little lady” he said winking at me

I grabbed us some soda as he set our dishes out full of food. As we sat eating quietly he gaze often jumped over mine whenever he saw me look at him. I found it adorable…he was so nervous.

“I hope I didn’t put your mom out, you know like having her make extra food for me” I said cutting some meat

“Oh no, no worries…. You see mama thinks…. Well mama thinks we’re more than….more than just friends” he replies getting a bit shy and blushing

“Oh.. have you never brought a girl home before?” I asked, mentally smacking myself in the face for asking such a rude question

“Not since little suzie….but we were like 9. Swore we was gonna grow up, get married, have a family” he said giggling a bit

“And what happened to that?” I asked him

“Ahh her family decided to move right before high school started…never saw her again” he says swallowing thickly as he blinked rapidly

“I’m sorry Matt” I said taking a sip of my drink

“Oh it’s alright, it was just a foolish thing to think” he says laughing

“Since her…has there been no one else?” I asked him

“No. There’s no real time for that round these parts either you grow up as neighbors and end up marrying or you stay solo forever” he says shrugging his shoulders

“Seems a bit outdated” I replied back

“It is, but it's just the way it is” he says back

“But anyways, how are you liking Oklahoma so far?” He asks me as he sips his drink

“Other than missing my family and friends, I’m thoroughly enjoying it here” I said to him

“Do you plan on going back? Or having them visit?” He retorts

“I was thinking maybe for the holiday season they could come here, there’s plenty of room here for them” I said to him

“Yeah there is” he says nodding his head

“And speaking of plenty of space I remembered there’s a basement here. I can probably set a few friends up down there, except there’s one problem” I replied looking over my shoulder at the door

“What’s that?” He asks eagerly

“It seems to be locked and I can’t find the key, do you think there’d be an extra somewhere in this town?” I said looking back at him

“Oh you know the basement keys are universal, way back when they figured as a small town it would be easier to make the keys universal so if someone lost theirs then they could call their neighbors” he says as he cuts a piece of meat, as I began to have a lightbulb moment

“You don’t say” I reply sliding my tongue over my teeth

“Except only issue is as of recently due to termites and water damage the chairman’s from the towns had gone into every home, painting over the doors and locking them while also confiscating any keys. Just so that no ones tempted to use the basement…..that would be many lawsuits if something went wrong” he says looking up at me

“Ohhhh I see, wow that sucks” I said to him, mentally sighing in defeat. I literally could not stop hitting dead ends and it was killing me

After dinner Matt had helped me clean the kitchen up and helped me pack his mothers Tupperware away.

“I can’t thank you enough for dinner” I say handing him the last container

“It’s my pleasure darling” he says winking once again at me

“Wanna come up to my room?” I asked him as I dried my hands

“Yeah sure” he replied placing the lunch box down

We headed up to my room, turning the light on Matt plopped down on my bed letting out a loud sigh. Fluffing my pillow up he laid it against the headboard while leaning back

“I know I don’t have much here especially no TV, but I do have some books I bought from back home” I say to him shrugging my shoulders

“I wouldn’t mind reading” he says nodding his head

As I open my mouth to reply the power suddenly goes out

“What the fuck” I say out loud

“Anytime it rains even an ounce the power goes out. Faulty wires and old houses” Matt says laughing

“How do we fix it?” I asked him

“We don’t, it usually goes back up in like 3 hours. I’ll run to my house and grab some candles keep it bright until the power goes back on, and I’ll even keep you company too” he says smiling at me

“That sounds nice” I say to him nodding

As quickly as Matt left to get some candles, it was as quickly as he came back. He had a small duffle bag and he pulled out many candles and a box of matches.

Removing his sweater and placing it down to dry on the door knob, my eyes couldn’t peel away from how nicely that white shirt sat on his body….

Matt and I lit a shit ton of matches all over my room, it was now warm lit and very…..intimate might I add.

“I hope this is good enough for you” Matt says blowing out the last match

“Oh no this is perfect I honestly prefer candlight over artificial light” I said waving him off

He laughed and fluffed the pillow up before laying on my bed again. Propping himself up against my headboard as he crossed his legs over.

I sat next to him with my back against the headboard as well. Grabbing my copy of Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson I relaxed my shoulders before opening the book to where I last left off.

“I hope you don’t mind I started the book already” I said looking over at Matt

“Doesn’t bother me” he says nodding for me to go on

“My room belongs to an alien. It is a postcard of who I was in fifth grade. I went through a demented phase when I thought that roses should cover everything and pink was a great color” I read aloud as my finger ghosted the rough paper

Stopping I looked up, taking my bottom lip into my mouth and sinking my teeth into the flesh.

“Isn’t it crazy how fast we change” I said chewing the already shredded skin on the inside of my mouth

“I’m not even sure I know what change is” Matt whispers

Looking over at him I watch the warm light reflect against his blue eyes. And for a split second I swear I can see his past in them. Sad….lonely….misunderstood…..

“I’m just following the norm here. I’m becoming what every man becomes. I’m growing, but am I changing? I’m not when I’m the exact same as the ancestors who came before me” he states swallowing thickly

“Have you ever considered leaving?” I ask him

“And go where?” He asks

“You could always come to Vegas….with me” I state in a whisper

“But all I know is Pleasant Town” he replies shaking his head

“Well now you know me, I mean we could at least visit I can show you where I’m from like you did with me” I say smiling at him

“I’d like that a lot actually” he says nodding at me

But suddenly he grows cold and immediately his attitude changes

“That’s just a fairytale though. I belong here on the farm and taking care of my parents” he says firmly

“And no one’s saying you can’t do that, but at least vacation for a little bit” I say to him

Shutting my book I place it on the night stand as I give Matt my full attention.

“You can experience so many new things! See and do things you’ve never done before” I say to him tapping him on his knee

“Like what?” He asks laughing

“You can go to the Las Vegas strip, we can go shopping and we can go see where Elvis Presley used to perform, shit we could even get you a one night stand. I mean it’s Vegas you know what they say… what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” I say to him giggling

“Ehhhh” he says sounding hesitant

“Okay what about that plan do you not want to do?” I ask him

“The one night stand…. I’m not experienced with women” he says shyly

“What? You? You’re telling me in this whole town you’ve never been with a single girl?” I asked him genuinely shocked

“No…” he says once again shyly

“That’s alright, well let’s see you’ve at least kissed a girl right?” I ask him as he shakes his head no

“Held hands?” I asked raising my eyebrow and he shakes his head no once again

“Uhhh innocent flirting?” I ask

“No” he says laughing a bit

“That’s alright! We can…we can get you practicing now and this way you’ll be a champ in Vegas” I say laughing

“Practice?” He asks looking a bit unsure

I grab his hand and interlock our fingers as I look back up at him

“Holding hands… check!” I say smiling

Turning more towards him I place my hand on his cheek as I look into his eyes

“Can I kiss you?” I ask genuinely

“Yes ma'am” he whispers out breathlessly against me

Leaning in I peck his lips quickly

“What I did you’re also going to do okay?” I say to him and he nods

Leaning in again we both press our lips together, pulling away Matt looks at me before attaching his lips to mine again.

Shuffling over I straddled his lap as we pulled away, and Matt looked at me with doe eyes as his chest rose and fell rapidly. A dazzling blush across his nose and cheeks and pupils blown wide.

“Is this okay?” I ask him and to this he nods

“Darlin I don’t know what I’m doing, but just know I’m enjoying myself” he says to me as he licks his lips

“I can teach you some things, and don’t be afraid to stop me. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to” I say to him

“Okay” he says nodding vigorously

Removing my shirt I look over to Matt

“You can touch me you know” I say to him

“I don’t know how” he replied back

Grabbing his hands I placed them on my breast and his mouth hung open. Gently caressing them I moan against his touch.

It wasn’t long before Matt’s shirt was off and I was peppering kisses along his neck and down his chest. My bare chest against his warm skin. His breathing became rapid as his hands traced along my back.

“Please don’t stop” he breathes out as I look up at him

Raking my nails up and down his body I leave open mouth kisses along his warm skin as his hips buckle up against me.

“Pretty girl I need more” Matt moans out as his brows furrowed

Letting my hand caress over his growing bulge his hips fly up as he moans. Covering his face in the crook of his elbow.

“You don’t have to cover yourself for me” I say to him as I rub my hands up his torso

“I’ve just never done anything like this before I don’t want to embarrass myself” he says to me

“Listen my love I’m taking the lead tonight so there’s no need to feel pressured or embarrassed, and if at any point you want to stop we can” I say to him kissing his cheek

“Okay” he says swallowing thickly

Ghosting my fingers over his large buckle I unhook his belt, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding the zipper down. I help him slide out of his jeans. Tossing them somewhere behind me on the floor

To my surprise he was in briefs rather than boxers which left little to the imagination. My cunt was actually clenching on nothing at the sight.

Ghosting my nails in between the waistband of his underwear. He lied against the mattress moaning and twitching. Begging to be released

Sliding out of my bottoms I straddled him once again. The only thing separating us was our underwear. Sliding up and down against him we both let out a load sigh

“Holy shit this feels so good darlin” he moans out looking up at me

Matt moves his hands up my thighs and to my breasts, lightly squeezing them as I moan and shutter against his touch.

“Kiss me please” he says desperately

Leaning down I kiss Matt, grinding down against him harder causing him to open his mouth. Which allowed me to slip my tongue in. For a moment it took him a while to get the hang of it, but soon after our tongues were fighting for dominance. The kiss was hot and messy and so so needy.

Releasing myself from him I leaned back, scooting back I slid his briefs down. His hard dick springing up as I bit my lip

“God you’re so hot” I said to him

“Oh sweetheart no one’s ever called me that” he says biting his lip

“I’ll scream it from the hilltops if I have to” I responded to him

Sliding my underwear to the side I gently rubbed the tip of his dick along my cunt. Both of our moans syncing together.

“Are you ready?” I ask him

“Yes maam” he says back grabbing onto my hips

Slowly I began to sink down on his length. The burn sent shivers up my spine. Both of our mouths hang open as my toes curl. Completely bottoming out I let out a load moan

Slowly bouncing up and down on his dick I allow him to get adjusted to the feeling.

“Holy shit Oh my god” he moans out as he watches me bounce up and down

“You feel so good” I moan out as I begin to grind down on him

“Oh my goddd” he whines out as I begin to feel his thighs shake

Bringing my hand down I rub my clit as I bounce on his dick. My thighs shake as I bring myself closer to the edge.

“Fuck Matt I’m so close to cumming” I whine out as my breathing becomes heavy

“Me too, oh godddd” he moans out as his torso begins to lift off the bed every now and then

Leaning forward I grind up and down, allowing my clit to massage against his pelvic bone. Without warning Matt opens his mouth and begins to swirl his tongue around my nipple, sucking and licking like his life depended on it

“Fuckkkk” I moan out clenching down on him

Within seconds I’m cumming all over his dick, shaking and moaning as I clench down on him. Continuing to ride out my high I feel Matt twitch

“I think I’m going to cum?” He moans out

Once again I feel his thighs shake and his lower abdomen tighten. And I hop off and just as I do Matt’s cumming all over his lower stomach. Whining and moaning as he comes down from his high

Heavy breaths and groans as he involuntarily twitches.

“Feeling okay cutie?” I ask him as I pet his hair and pull him closer

“That felt amazing, I’ve never felt that good in my life” he says looking up at me with puppy dog eyes

“And in time it only gets better” I say laying a kiss on his lips

We laid there for a little while talking and kissing and finally we decided to get up and get cleaned. Laying back down I read some more of my book. Until eventually we fell asleep and most candles had gone out by this point.

We fell asleep snuggled together, and at some point in the night we shifted opposite ways. But at around 2am I got up to use the bathroom.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I cracked my neck and back before standing up. Lightly walking from my side to around the bed, but before I could finish coming around I had stepped on something

Silently wincing I looked down, seeing some type of metal I assumed it was Matt’s belt buckle. Smiling and blushing to myself I bent down picking the item up, but to my surprise it was what felt like keys.

Running into the bathroom I shut the door, gently opening the shower curtain to let the moonlight come in through the window. I held the keys up. They looked pretty normal except for one.

It said “BASEMENT” on it and I blinked to make sure I wasn’t half asleep.

Peeing quickly I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. Sticking my head out of the bathroom I peaked over at Matt who was snoring peacefully.

Sighing I tip toed out of the bedroom and quietly down the stairs. I mean as quiet as I could….it was an old house. Lightly walking towards my kitchen thanking the lord for the moonlight coming in through my back door. I was able to see the basement door perfectly.

Sticking the key in lightly I turned it to the left, and heard a click. Silently cheering I turned the knob and opened the door surprisingly the door wasn’t creaky.

I figured I would go down , check it out real quick and go back upstairs. Placing the keys back where I found them.

Shutting the door behind me I felt for a light switch on the right side, and I flicked it on. In about three seconds I heard the faint buzz of a warm light turn on.

Stepping down the stairs gently I turned the corner. The basement looked really nice actually. It was pretty well kept for how old the house was. I didn’t see any water damage nor any termites, but hey who knows.

Walking in a bit more I saw large desks with papers everywhere and bulletin boards covered in papers and a lot of dust….

Walking over to the area I blew some dust around and even wiped it with my fingers. Looking to my right there was a lamp. Testing the odds it actually turned on illuminating the area for me a bit more.

My eyes squinted trying to read everything. My eyes scanned the bulletin board.

“Animal slayings”

“Cult rituals”

“Witch craft like sacrifices”

My eyes went wide. I finally was finding something… and the whole time it was in my house?

I looked to my right and that’s when I got a little bit nervous

“Suzie Buchanan, age 14, found slain in her father’s farm house”

Surely this couldn’t be thee Suzie Matt knew……

I mean that’s recent years? How would that even be in this house? I was becoming anxious with dread.

Looking down at the table I looked at the newspapers closely.

“Thomas Sturniolo released from prison”

“Thomas Sturniolo still being questioned about cult killings”

“Sturniolos back in town?” One read

These were all newspapers not from this town…. Something deeper was going on here….someone knew more than they were saying. There’s an outside source here and I haven’t known this whole time.

Flipping open the newspaper my eyes scanned the text.

“Thomas Sturniolos home 27 Field Drive has been purchased by his grandson”

27 Field Drive was this house….. my hands began to shake as I realized what was going on. This whole time I’ve been living in Thomas Sturniolos house. And there’s someone who knows about me…. My heart began to speed and I rummaged through more newspapers

“A new generation of Sturniolos” one newspaper read

Opening up the newspaper my eyes scanned the page

“Jimmy Sturniolo has now purchased 26 Field Drive, directly across the street from his estranged grandfather's home located at 27 Field Drive” it read

“What the fuck?” I whispered as a cold sweat began to take over

Scanning along the page some more

“Jimmy Sturniolo avoids questions from sources asking about his grandfather. Seen here with one of his sons Matthew Sturniolo covering his face” I read

My heart was thumping out my chest as I let the papers fall from my hands.

You know those scenes in movies where the protagonist is just standing still as the world around her moves and her hearing has gone clouded?? Yeah that’s me right now

Unbeknownst to Y/N Matt had snuck downstairs after realizing she was gone. Sinking down the stairs of the basement he watched the young woman shake in fear as she read the newspapers.

Shaking his head and mentally cursing himself out he quietly walked up behind her

I stood there in fear not really sure what to do. Pretend like nothing happened and wait till tomorrow morning to book it out of town, or book it out of town right now while Matt’s asleep??

Racking my brain for answers I stood there when suddenly I heard

“I’m so sorry” turning around slightly I was faced with Matt

“Wha-“ but before I could finish my sentence Matt charged at me

Grabbing the back of my head and holding a chloroform covered rag against my nose and mouth

And suddenly it all went

BLACK

The End

Don’t kill me for the cliffhanger😏. Had to spice it up a bit. Now I will be working the next four days, so I will try and work on Part 4 a little bit and hopefully have it up soon for you guys. I love you all so dearly 🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[lvrcpid]

sleepover! - modern!au (requested)

part 2 of move along mariah! (read to understand)

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•you guys stay up ALL NIGHT

•literally you guys don’t go to sleep until like 6 am

•lo’ak made tuk go with yalls parents cause she was “killing the vibe”

•she’s probably still in her snitch era

•since ao’nung got to hog you during karaoke, neteyam definitely makes sure he’s sleeping RIGHT NEXT TO YOU

•since you have an xbox, the boys are playing cod for a little while you, kiri and tsireya are doing prank calls

•roxto couldn’t come cause he was out of town for a family thing

•definitely called you cussing you out cause even if he wasn’t there why didn’t you invite him

•your parents probably knocked out sleep in the rooms because being a parent is SOOOO HARDDDDD

•lo’ak trying to jump neteyam was the highlight of the night

•HE GOT BODY SLAMMED

•granted we are in 2023 , they are definitely tryna roast eachother like it’s 2016 all over again

•they don’t care who you are

•if you grin, you’re in

•roasting eachother for a solid 25 minutes

•kiri is on the floor dying

•tsireya has tears in her eyes and clutching her stomach

•late night mcdonald’s trip!!

•lo’ak orders the whole menu

•neteyam pays cause he forgot his wallet at home

•you bought tuk something cause you felt bad for kicking her out

•eating yalls food at the park

•trying to film asmr with neteyam

•“y’all weird asses” - ao’nung

•HE RUINED THE VIDEO

•kiri doing damn parkour off the slide

•talking about what y’all wanna do after graduation (foreshadowing me thinks 🤭)

•lo’ak being sad cause he’s gonna miss you

•“please shut up you’re gonna miss my rides-“ “HELLO????”

•going back home

•you completely forgot you guys had a ring door bell

•you walk up to it and smile

•“hey dad…we only went and got food swearsies!”

•he didn’t care tbh as long as you came back

•you brought him a milkshake back so ALLS WELL

•you guys playing the michael jackson experience

•NETEYAM EATING THE GIRLS UP IN GHOST

•megan knees!!!

•lo’ak attempted the smooth criminal lean

•let’s just say there’s a big ass blood stain on your floor

•tsireya probably knocked out at like 2 am, home girl can’t hang

•kiri is probably patching up lo’ak while y’all are doing dance battles

•ao’nung please stop krumping you are not 2005 chris brown

•doing the boys hair because they wanted you to

•mainly cause they wanted you close to them

•NGL BOTH OF THEM ARE PROBABLY CONTEMPLATING CONFESSING TO YOU

•you like both of them and you don’t give a FUCK

•by the time 6 am rolls around y’all are all sprawled on the floor

•this is how i see it

•neteyam is laying on your stomach, ao’nung is close by, lo’ak has his hand over your face, tsireya is on the couch, kiri is in the corner

•this makes for a very confused set of parents when they all wake up

[irrevocableloves]

violent delights

twilight rewrite! edward cullen x fem!witch!reader

chapter one: the city of forks welcomes you

masterlist ౨ৎ chapter two

summary: y/n swan has lived in forks all of her life, but when she takes her summer-long vacation to california to visit her mother, she returns to a strange new family accompanying her small town.

warnings: swearing, angst

words: 1.8k

a/n: this has been in my drafts for so so long and tbh i haven't written a fanfic since i was 12... and i'm fr 22, but i've ran out of twilight fanfics to read (i've been waiting weeks for one specific one to update and i'm going crazy)... so anyways !! hope you enjoy !!

Opening my eyes, I was greeted with the trees of Forks, Washington. After an almost four hour drive, I could sense that I was nearing my home as the city was nowhere to be found. Instead it was replaced with deep green trees, dim skies, and the small shops that swept by as my dad drove.

I liked Forks, more than I probably should. Everyone here, mostly the kids, sulked about big bright cities where the sun would actually make an appearance. They longed for the liveliness that Forks had never given them.

But me? I secretly adored the quietness of it all. But of course, I had a disadvantage. Every summer I bathed in the sun rays of California, visited the busy cities, the warm beaches, and the overall liveliness that was craved from everyone else. But I was drained. Normally, it would be the opposite from any other person, but I always loved the cold. Ever since I was a kid, my little brain was wired to believe that Forks was almost like Christmas every single day of the year. So, rain, snow, or even ice (even with the ungodly amount of times I've slipped) never had me in too big of a rut.

With my mom back in California, though I loved her to death, was an absolute headache most of the time. And unlike my dad, she hovered. But, it wasn't her fault. The summer is the only time she had me, the rest were reserved with Charlie, which had resulted in this summer's mishaps: she begged me to stay longer. One would think that school would be an easy get out, but she knew the first month was nothing but dry introductions, syllabi, and effortless assignments. It was partly my fault. I was never one to turn her down, perhaps it was guilt because maybe she and I felt deep down that I favored my father more because who could ever turn down a chance to live in the perfect bustling city of San Francisco over Forks.

So I stayed. But now, it's the beginning of October. Thankfully, I was able to get in contact with the school in order to get all of my classes in order, as well as the help of my best friend, Angela, who emailed me all of the assignments. Jessica on the other hand, filled me in on all of the gossip. Her phone calls consisted of talks about her massive crush on Mike as well as the new and "totally weird" (as Jessica put it) family. "Suuupperrr pale, but weirdly GORGEOUS. I mean this Edward guy, he's wow. I swear if Mike doesn't make a move soon... I wonder if I could make him jealous?" The conversations were mostly one-sided, always either complaining about Mike's obliviousness or never catching that new guy's attention.

Now that I knew I was caught up on everything to do with school, all I wanted was to bury myself in bed and prepare for an alarm that hasn't been set in months.

I awoke to the sound of a car honking outside my window, assuming it was nothing, I settled back into my pillows, throwing my purple duvet back over your head for hopefully another thirty minutes of sleep.

"Y/N/N!" I heard my dad's voice accompanied by one of his famously loud whistles from outside of my window. That's when I finally got up and peered over with squinting eyes to see my father coming out of a car that most definitely wasn't his squad car.

Once my vision settled, I saw a green Volkswagen beetle parked in the driveway. No fucking way. I sprinted down the stairs and flung the front door open to see my father with a wide grin, gesturing the keys in front of my face.

"For me? You're joking?" I said in complete shock.

"You want me to be joking? Cause if so I can just bring this right back to Billy and let him sell it to some other geezer."

"No! No! No! I mean... Thank you, dad. Oh my god, how did you guys even find this?"

"Well, consider it a late birthday present. Billy and Jacob found it back in May for your birthday and decided to fix it up for ya, free of charge, but I paid 'em of course."

"Thanks dad and how about we invite Billy and Jacob over sometime and I'll cook? As a thank you?"

"You bet."

Once I parked in front of the school, my group of friends welcomed me with open arms, with Angela and Jessica squealing about how much they missed you and the boys, mostly just Mike, trying to awkwardly hug me.

I knew Mike had a crush on me, since third grade to be exact, which only made it worse for my friendship with Jessica, which made it worse for Lauren, Jessica's bestest friend to have an even better reason to despise me.

The first four classes: English, Government, Trigonometry, and French were surprisingly a breeze thanks to the assignments either Angela or the teachers sent over while I was away.

While at lunch, a new, unfamiliar bunch emerged from the cafeteria doors. They were beautiful... and also extremely pale even for Forks. So, this was the family Jessica was practically drooling over?

"Who are they?" I questioned anyways.

Jessica leans in, being careful to whisper, "It's the family I was telling you about. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster kids. They all moved down here from Alaska like last month."

I studied the first girl who walked in, bleached blonde hair, almost black eyes that were almost unsettling, she wore a thin grey coat and a knitted white scarf that matched her icy skin, and a necklace with a large charm that looked to be a family crest of some sort.

"The blonde girl, Rosalie, and the big dark-haired guy, Emmett..." Jessica continued.

More of the family gathered in slowly, the blonde was linking hands with a man with jet black hair, with the same family crest residing on his wrist.

"... they're a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal." Jessica grimaced.

Angela piped in, "Jess, they're not actually related."

"But they live together and all wear that weird creepy crest like some sort of cult. And the little dark haired girl, Alice, she's really weird..."

Despite Jessica's remarks, Alice was the one who caught my eye the most so far and not in a negative way. She reminded me of a fairy almost with her pixie-like hair cut, her style, and the way she carried herself, which was pretty whimsical in a way. Her arms were locked with a man beside her, bleached blonde just as Rosalie was.

"... she's with Jasper, the blonde who looks like he's in pain" Jessica continued on, "I mean, Dr. Cullen's like this foster dad slash match maker."

"Maybe he'll adopt me." Angela giggled.

The last Cullen to enter, I assumed it was Edward, the man Jessica claimed to be weirdly gorgeous and 'wow'. 'Wow' was the perfect word to explain how I felt as he strode down the cafeteria. I couldn't keep your eyes off of him, even as he went past your table, I was oddly captivated by his presence. He had a lanky body, matched with the same pale skin as his siblings, bronze hair and striking smirk. You could've sworn he heard Jessica's whispered remarks from across the cafeteria.

"He's totally gorgeous, obviously. But apparently, no one here is good enough for him. Like I care." She does. "Anyway, don't waste your time."

"I wasn't planning on it." I looked away before his eyes could find mine and once I did, I felt as if holes were practically burned at the back of my head. Was he staring?

Out of curiosity, I peered over my shoulder, quickly glancing, seeing his eyes on mine and quickly turning my eyes back, slowly hiding behind my hair.

Before I walked into Biology, I shuffled through my backpack to look for the assignments I'd done in your time away, settling them in my hands as I walked through the door.

Greeting Mr. Banner, I handed him my completed assignments that were neatly put together with a paper clip.

"Finally nice to see you Miss Y/L/N, how was your summer?" Being great at biology put you at an advantage, not only for assignments, but because Mr. Banner didn't question much about my month long disappearance, but I couldn't say the same about PE...

"It was good, thank you."

"Well that's great, I'm glad! And I appreciate your completed assignments, not even people attending have it all quite done like you have!" He rambled. "So! Your seat... There's a seating chart, but there should be an empty seat I left for you...,yes! Right there, next to Mr. Cullen." Mr. Banner pointed to the right side of the classroom to the seat next to the Cullen boy.

Edward's eyes once again felt as if they burned through my own, staring at me as if you had wronged him in some way. The hatred in his eyes was well aware, but for what reason?

With each step I took, the more disgust in his features appeared, almost as if he was holding his breath. Did I stink or something? I attempted not to smell myself to see if perhaps I had raging body odor or even a bad breath that radiated from across the classroom. No one else seemed to have an issue besides him.

Once I was sat, I heard him mutter into a cough, but I only made eye contact with his beading black eyes and said nothing at all. He only pushed the microscope towards me slowly, being careful to not come any closer to me as if he would catch something.

I sighed loudly, making my annoyance well known. He only just tensed.

Throughout the entirety of the class, the tension continued. I even considered going up to Mr. Banner and asking to switch seats with someone, but that only sparked the possibility of Mike forcing Eric to switch seats and I honestly couldn't figure out which would be worse. So, I decided to suffer through the entire hour and perhaps learn to suffer the entire year partnered with a man who could hardly even look me in the eye without being utterly disgusted.

At first I was hurt, but the hurt swiftly turned into annoyance once the partner sessions began. He didn't even consult with me, rather he just scribbled as fast as he could, only of what he was able to see through the microscope, only handing it to me after to check his answers. All correct, surprisingly.

Staring at the clock, I was counting down the time until the bell. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Edward had gotten up, practically running out of the classroom before the bell had officially rung.

next chapter

taglist ₊˚⊹♡

[aen-hen-ichaer]

just saw romulus im so so normal about it NO IM NOT. GOD IM NOT IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE GAAAUUGH

my thoughts + spoilers under the cut :3

• giger would be so proud of this film. so yonic. so phallic. my god. Every vagina shaped thing gave way to the most sinister form of life. Every penis shaped thing was violently penetrating. Super duper leans into the original underlying themes of SA. got under my skin like crazy

• this film combined all my favourite elements of alien (slow burn immersive horror), aliens (great action) and resurrection (human/xeno hybrid) I literally cannot fault it at all

•the offspring (babymorph as me and my bf dubbed it) BAD BAD SO BAD THROWING UP IN MY MOUTH I was legit shaking and had tears in my eyes I have never been so close to screaming in a cinema. 1000/10 creature design. I knew something horrific and fucked up was gonna happen after the pregnancy reveal but JESUS

• Andy's actor was AMAZZINNNGG. The way he played "regular" Andy vs "evil fuckass weyland-yutani synth" was seamless and perfect and he was my fav character

• Ian Holm's cameo felt...... weird. I generally don't like dead actors being reanimated in cgi anyway even with the consent of the family yadda yadda but... blegh. The cgi felt a little dodgy on his face as well but tbh the glitchy jilted nature of it really added to him being a damaged synth LOL

• references were v cute. might be ott to some but I liked it

•PRACTICAL EFFECTS MY BELOVED. BIG SCARY ASS PUPPETS MY BELOVED. GOO AND SLIME MY BELOVED

• the whole birth scene shook me to my coooorrree. As someone who wants to be pregnant and give birth nothing has gotten so under my skin like that before. The ides of doing your best to nurture what will be your child only for this fucking horror to come out of you.... oh my god......... AND LACTATING THE GOO?? ARE YOU FR????????

• mostly smart characters in this movie which I appreciate! the whole zero g acid blood vortex scene was very funsies

• great score. Calls back to the original but not too much

• PERFECT set design. Felt like watching alien isolation as a movie

• I love that they went back to a more analog clicky buttons/flicky switches aesthetic, the holograms and touchscreens of prometheus and covenant never felt right

• the black goo as an almost intelligent substance is so so fun. It "speeds up evolution" but it's smart enough not to destroy its host outright. The offspring was gestated in an egg sac containing fucking acid BUT it didn't hurt kay (until she birthed it and it no longer needed her)

• also the offspring not growing its xeno tail until it consumed the last of the goo from kay? Very nice touch

• JUST. PREGNANCY AS A GROUNDWORK FOR HORROR. SO UNDERUTILISED. SO EFFECTIVE.

• this films chest burster scene... dare I say....scarier than the original. Watching her ribs crack with the xray machine.... YUCKY

• me and my bf has settled to calling the black goo Promethean Fire. This isn't part of the review I just like that hehe

• when I heard the name Romulus I mentioned to my bf about Romulus and Remus being raised by wolves and I was like "what if this is the start of the crossbreeds like in resurrection?" AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

•Sound design was excellent, the thumping huge heavy footprints of the xeno felt sososososososo good with the cinema surround sound auugghhg

ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE. If u wanna share any thoughts pls do in insane about this :)

[alatismeni-theitsa]

This might be a weird question but I’m first Generation Greek diaspora in Canada and I often feel disconnected from my culture. I have found out that I’m non-binary in some way and I want to change my name because it’s a very feminine name. However, it’s also a very Greek name, and I feel like erasing it in place of some WASP or USian name would make me feel even more disconnected from my culture. I’ve been looking online for Greek unisex name lists but they always have names that no Greek actually has or are not unisex. I know that we have a problem with naming people the same thing, I think like 50% of the Greek girls I meet are named Maria or some variant of it, but I have met some cool names people. Still, I want to choose a name that reflects my culture and my identity and I haven’t come out to my family yet so I can’t ask them. Anyways, I was just wondering if you could think of any off the top of your head or if you could recommend a baby name list. Sorry if this is hard I don’t mean to stress you out, I just don’t have many people who I can talk to about Greek culture

Hi! Perhaps you could go with Χάρις which is feminine but also sounds like Χάρης, the masculine name. ;) Or some other modern Greek names that end in -ις. (Which.... tbh I can't think of anything atm 😂) But feel free to check some and come back to ask if you can use them nowadays.

I am not non-binary and I don't have the energy or time to go to queer Greek spaces although I belong there 😅 This is to say that I am not aware of any solution that the Greek ΛΟΑΤΚΙ+ community has found for this. And that anyone who knows what's going on can fill us in.

The explanation/context:

It's true that Greek names are gendered so I cannot find anything from the top of my mind to suggest :/ I was about to suggest some more "powerful" Greek names (like Alexandra) but that would also suggest that there are "masculine" and "feminine" traits that belong only to a certain gender. I don't want to imply that war or physical power is strictly a "masculine" thing ya know, or that a "Maria" is automatically feminine and cannot be assertive or even fire a gun. Traits don't have "feminine" and "masculine" vibes to me, they are just human traits. After all, Greek women are known for their resilience and toughness, the ability to terrify anyone with merely a stare and a slipper/stick, and their fierceness when they make it into military ranks.

Tbh I think Greeks experience being non-binary beyond names. Names can be irrelevant. E.g. you can have a feminine or a masculine name and still be non-binary. English speakers often make a fuss about what names are masculine and feminine but I haven't seen Greeks care much about it. Greeks don't argue about what names are "more feminine". That's not how we see names and that's not how we connect them with gender. No one cares if they call you Melina and you have 100 piercings and ride a motorcycle. So in this society there's no thought to get rid of your name if it doesn't "match" your actions or basic expression.

Ofc you can change your name for whatever reason. I am only speaking on the Greek mindset about names and gender. The Greek non-binary people I've met in Greece go by their gendered baptism names. In online spaces only they go by English names, or just by their initials, as the English trend is.

Sometimes I also suspect that there are differences between what feels non-binary for a Greek and what feels non-binary for a Canadian. I might be completely wrong here, but I am letting this thought out there to see if there are indeed different perspectives. For example, I've felt a difference between local queerness in some cases, like when USians see a Greek woman with "αγορέ" short hair and...average person movements (not feminine or masculine I mean, just a person existing), and immediately switch to "they/them". Meanwhile for Greek society this person naturally falls into the "default woman" category and we wouldn't see any reason to not use she/her. (I'm talking about cases where the person also doesnt say anywhere that they are non-binary or that they use they/them pronouns.)

In aaaaany case, our societal norms, our histories, and presentations are not the same and for this reason I also applaud your decision to choose a name that reflects your culture and identity. As people we are a mix of many things and our characteristics carry a cultural flavour.

Given all this, and driven by practicality, I would say that it would be better to go with a feminine name (because of your physical presentation) but choose whatever feels better for you. Don't think of Greek names for females as "more or less" feminine, since that's not the Greek way of thinking.

More suggestions:

You can choose a name that honours your values, or a characteristic that you want to have or you are proud that you have. You can choose names that express concepts, like "wisdom" (Σοφία), "love" (Αγάπη), "freedom" (Ελευθερία/Ρία), "hope" (Ελπίδα), "salvation" (Σωτηρία), "reign" (Βασιλεία), "happy/beloved" (Ασπασία), grace (Χάρις).

Just because these words are feminine, it doesn't mean that they are feminine traits. They are feminine GRAMMATICALLY. Something that English speakers might not understand is that gendered language doesn't mean that you assign gender to things. Heck, even the chair is a feminine noun in Greek but no one suggests there's any feminine about a chair 😂"Dick" (yes the genitals) can also be a feminine word. (η πούτσα) Like, the feminine pronoun doesn't mean anything.

Sure, the connection between names and sex is strong in Greek, but not in the sense English speakers (or people who speak neutral-gender languages) might think. We can recognise Greek sexism and separatism but at the same time I think it's important to understand that each society sees different traits in the sexes and genders.

You could also choose names like "farmer" (Γιωργία, to suggest that you like to work the earth), or the name of some Greek goddess, or some Greek saint to show that you have their attributes. Or the name of an empress, or the name of an emperor but in its feminine version (e.g. Κωνσταντίνα). Maybe the name of a Muse, if you are a creative.

That's it from me 💙 Sorry to have delayed this answer but I needed to think a lot, and life doesn't let me think or answer to asks a lot these days. I hope I managed to help even a little bit.

=====================================

As I said, I am not non-binary, and I don't want to speak over non-binary people. I am answering this because you said that you don't have lots of people to talk about these things, and perhaps it's better to have someone queer say some stuff about it. As always, more opinions are welcome in the comments and reblogs. I don't have all the knowledge in the world.

[fever-project]

All the LU Warriors headcanons I’m seeing in the tags makes me want to share my own so uh, have them.

He rarely talked for most of his life. He never really wanted to after puberty hit, he didn’t like how his voice sounded. So he barely interacted with anyone that wasn’t his immediate family. After the war started, however, he wanted to talk more. Even though Proxi could talk for him-which he was very grateful for-he wanted to be able to voice his own opinions by himself.

Speaking of immediate family, he currently has none. He and Linkle are not biologically related, but after the war they now consider themselves to siblings. Linkle’s older by two days.

Wars has a thing for his Zelda(I’m not calling her Artemis I do not like that name for her)but he hasn’t made any moves yet. He gets nauseous whenever he thinks about dating in any kind(mainly Cia’s fault). Zelda respects this, and doesn’t show that she has any romantic feelings about him whatsoever because she doesn’t want to scare him. Wars just thinks his love is one sided, making him wanting to ask her out even less. Linkle’s trying her best to help them out, but she hasn’t been successful yet.

Enough about love, because Wars is a-spec. He’s somewhere on there, I know it. Definitely not me projecting.

Wars loves clothing and the occasional dressing up. He never tells anyone this, but everyone during the war knew it. He got the others to participate too.

Legend once sarcastically criticized Wars’ fashion choice and he changed into his Koholint Hero’s Clothes for a week. Wars did not tell him why he did or what the clothes were called, but Wars felt so proud of himself. Legend just thought he was just making fun of him for his pink hair or something.

Wants to tell Legend so bad about Marin, but Marin probably told him that if he ever meets her Link, to not tell him he met her. She didn’t want to give him any hope that they’ll meet again, because they won’t.

Wars loves fairies. He loves them so much. He loves feeding them, dressing them up, taking care of them, all of that. Fairies love him too, because he tries to feed them whenever the chain isn’t looking. He tries to make sure that no one else knows, since he thinks it’s a bit embarrassing.

Wars wants to use everyone’s items one day. He had so much fun using the Spinner during the war, not to mention the Fire Rod. But he never really asks, since he doesn’t wants to come off as weird.

The ends of his scarf/cape thing used to be red, like in the game, but the dye faded after a few years. He tried to redye it, but it didn’t really work.

He was the captain of his own, specific group consisting of the wayward warriors from across time. They all did interact with regular soldiers, but they mostly worked with just each other and looked to Wars to guide them. Since he usually only command with these guys so I guess he was more of a lieutenant? Idk how ranks work tbh. Nevertheless, he was always called captain by the others, since most of them didn’t really know how ranks worked either. Captain just seemed to fit him. The others who did know about ranks just went along with calling him captain.

Impa helped him so much you have no idea. He was a pretty good leader by himself, but he always appreciated the help.

Both dislikes Tingle and is eternally confused by him. And disturbed. Can’t bring himself to hate him though.

Wars knows things. He’ll nod his head along whenever Time or Wind tell the group their stories, he’s heard them all before anyhow. He does the same with Legend, Sky, and Twilight when they share as well, since he’s heard a lot from their friends. He usually pretends that he doesn’t know anything, however. He’s just nodding along to nod along.

Wars hasn’t told Sky that he met Fi before yet. He doesn’t want to give him any false hope that she’ll wake up again.

he hopes that she’ll wake up too.

Wars doesn’t really understand Four’s negative view of dark magic, or anyone’s negative view of dark magic. A few of his items has a dark attribute, he’s worked with people who had dark magic(like midna), and he’s taken care of dark fairies. Dark magic is just like fire or water magic to him, it’s another type of magic that just so happens to be used by bad guys a lot.

Wars gets along pretty well with Twilight. I’d like to think he’s close with everybody, and besides Time and Wind(and the more teasing relationship with Legend) Twilight’s up there. Probably tied with Sky.

Probably interacts with Hyrule, Wild, and Four the least, compared to others. They all get along, but he almost never actively searches for them to hang out.

Very vague whenever he talks about his adventure. Usually just says something about the war and refuses to elaborate. Everyone’s usually fine with this since most of them do the same thing, but he’s dramatic about it.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I joined the hobby with my sister in early 2003. We both got our first dolls at the same time but I hated my doll (she arrived blank) and I decided to not join the hobby because I hated the doll so much. My sister stayed active, but passed away in 2016, in which I got my first doll back when they were passing the inheritance and arranging everything. That was my reintroduction into the doll hobby, to connect with my sister in a way.

Enjoyed making friends with people in the community, generally found the community peaceful and positive. I liked playing and taking pictures of my dolls and was interested in trying OC and the biographies people posted because it looked fun.

in 2022 the rest of my family passed away in a car crash. Its been difficult for me to accept this and I keep going into states of "if this" or "if that", and I tried to connect to the hobby but I couldnt escape reality. It didnt help that my fathers side of the family were relentlessly trying to put a conservatorship on me, have me put in a mental hospital and seize control of me, my assets and finances forcing me to go to a psychiatrist and take medication just so I can have freedom and avoid them.

I decide to try and cheer myself by going to a doll event on holiday and get a chance on a doll that is coveted by a niche in the community, as in limited to a few dolls a year that you can only get in person in a certain location on certain dates by a lottery. This is a doll Ive been obsessed with getting, having won two YJA auctions for her (you arent supposed to buy them secondhand or sell them), only to have the sellers always refund the proxy. I won this doll, on my first lottery entry and I feel nothing.

I met two people and one was extremely kind, and the other that I thought I had a connection with was just disappointing to meet in person. Gossiping about people the whole time, including the person that was also there with us, always talking about why they were better than so and so because they did x. Talked about entering the lottery many times but always losing and not to get my hopes up because they dont pick nonresident foreigners. She also suggested I bring in someone to increase my chances, but I said I wanted to play fair and she shocked me when she said good answer; like it was a trick suggestion or she was waiting for an aha moment.

The pure anger on her face when I was called the winner, and then the comment about them picking the lottery winner like I was supposed to feel bad that I was picked instead of randomly chosen was weird to me. I just brushed it off as me being paranoid. Its not jealousy of the doll, but I think anger that they picked someone she saw as unworthy (me). She even called me a whale, but I just ignored the comment because I know Im not even remotely chubby back then.

Then she said something about how maybe this was the universe giving me a present because my whole family passed away a few months ago (at that time). This was the first time I told someone in the hobby about my familys passing and I felt completely emptied? deflated? by the comment. They may have not meant it to be negative, but I felt repulsed. TBH, I havent even taken the doll out of the box since getting her because I keep remembering that comment made. They probably didnt mean much, but it stuck to me. I cant even look at the doll's box without feeling sick. I just remembered this because its been a year + and I saw someone being annoyed that a oneoff winner didnt post an opening even though its been a few months, and now I feel worse because its been a year of her in the box.I was just waiting until I felt happy again so I can at least have the box opening be special. I dont know what to do because that comment; the universe giving me a doll in return of my whole family dying? I cant disassociate it and I wish I never met that person because I feel like it has made the doll hobby unenjoyable to me, but I also know its unreasonable to think this way because Ive met so many that are so nice and kind. I think Im reading into the comment more than its worth. I honestly feel pathetic for letting it affect me this much.

Sorry for writing all of this. I just wanted to get it out of my chest so I can maybe get back to normal. My friends dont like listening to this, because Im a man and am supposed to be more mature, and I also dont like holding on to anger, and I dont usually do, but I feel angry and sad all the time, when I know I should be grateful because I have a lot of blessings. Some might know who I am, and I hope they dont take it as a sign of me needing help, and more of just me venting if they read all of this, that my disinterest in a lot of things isnt them, its just Im not back to normal and I want to be.

~Anonymous

Mod: I'm so sorry anon, you've been through so much. 💗

This person sounds insecure and jealous and imo you should dismiss everything they said to you, it was not coming from a good place. You deserve to have joy and happiness in your life.

[stonedstargazer666]

I just did the hardest thing in my life.

Now I'm not sure how to go about talking about something like this.... i'm not all here mentally so just bear with me.... TW: Death, passing of a loved one, and organ donation. self harm mentioned.

I'm in Louisiana… Got here yesterday, everything feels like a blur… yet it feels like it's moving in slow motion…. It feels really good to see my stepmom, and stepsibs and my half brother Bear who came down to Louisiana JUST for me. Bear and our dad didn't really have a relationship, not the way I did with our dad. But Bear came down from Minnesota for me..... and I'm truly grateful for that.

My dad was legally pronounced brain dead on September 3rd 2024. Yesterday, September 4th, 2024. He had his Hero Walk from his ICU room to the ambulance bay…. i feel… I dont know… I've only ever have seen that on like med dramas before.. ya know? There's a place out here were they take him to handle as they put it "His gifts". Because he was an organ donor… I'm so proud of him for that Oh my gods I'm so proud of him for that…. but that walk… seeing all those doctors and nurses staff. some of who are my step moms co workers… it was the hardest thing i have ever done/ had been a part of in my life…. there is already a recipient of his liver. My dad is going to save someone else's life….. (we just got a call from the place that he went to, they were able to recover his liver, and two other things for transplants!!! THREE THINGS. MY dad is helping three different people!!!!)

Before we did the Hero Walk, Bear got to hang up a flag in honor of our dad. which was flown at half mast at the hospital. He's keeping the flag. Yesterday I had the honor of recording his heartbeat, and it's on my phone. I haven't listened to it since recording it.... I'm scared too, but I know that I wanna save up to get a Seattle Seahawks bear from Build a bear and put his heartbeat in that. I know it's going to kill me everytime I play it, but I think it'll also help???? the jury is still out.. lol

THe hero's walk was so surreal.... seeing that in real life.... I...I don't know how to process it... the doctors, nurses, and staff lined the hallways from the ICU to the ambulance bay.... it was so quiet, and I was sobbing the entire time walking behind my dad. He really is a hero... and my respect for him grew. I already had so so much respect for him. But wow.... The hero's walk was up til today, something I only saw on med dramas.... it felt so heavy, every single one of those people in those hallways had such a heavy look of respect and admiration for my dad. I feel like I'm shock kinda.... just a lot going on my head I cant keep things straight tbh...

Everyone has been a mess, but I think my stepmom and I take the cake on being a mess. (She doesn't have Tumblr, and none of my other family do so i'm not worried about them seeing this heh...) I have been dissociating a lot... I think... been blasting Sleep Token a lot to deal with this.... I never thought that my dad would be gone so soon... It's weird sitting in his chair writing this, knowing that he would usually never let anyone else sit in it... I have moments of hearing his voice when it's completely silent.... it's a sound that I will never forget, and his deep belly laugh when you would get him rolling.... his smile... Gods... I don't know how to feel.... it's weird to be here without him.... I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for my dad, yeah I made the choice to get sober, but he helped me. He let me scream, cry, vent.... I didn't go to rehab, I literally detoxed on a greyhound bus on my way to Ohio. but when I got to Ohio. My dad was a Video call away, and I called him a lot. He didn't care about my ramblings, or the fact that I can never stay on topic.... he did the same thing.

We are cremating him, and having a wake for him with a viewing... which is going to be really hard for me honestly. After seeing him in the ICU.... but I think it'll be nice. and by cremating him. I'll be able to always have a little piece of him with me always. I just need to find something for his ashes, something that means something to both of us. Just us. I don't know where to even start... I'm not gonna be able to do anything until next month anyway...... I honestly feel so lost right now.... I keep thinking who am I gonna call. and my first thought is my dad....

I can't call him, and it hurts so much. But I know he isn't in pain anymore. He's with his dad, and grandpa. He's with my grandma, and aunts who loved him. But.... I feel lost... my heart hurts so much... I know that I'll learn to cope, and with a lot of time. It will get easier, but it doesn't feel like it. It really doesn't...

there is a GoFundMe going... i can get it from my stepmom if anyone wants it.. it was set up by a family friend.. just dm me I guess. i'll answer DMS but that's really it.

Me and my dad in 2019 in Idaho

This picture of my dad, I'm not sure when it was taken, but he looks so cool.

My dad when he was about 17 or so and his Mopar, this is my absolutely favorite picture of him. Picture courtesy of my Uncle Floyd on Facebook hehe.

Then these are pictures of his flag, the first three I took from the parking lot of the hospital. the last one my brother Bear took. I'm gonna post more photos of my dad. My Uncle Floyd, his brother is sending me a lot, and my stepmom and I are going through his facebook page and shes telling me stories about some of them. While going through some of his stuff... I know its soon.... but honestly... I'm keeping a lot of it. IDK where I'm putting it. But so far its mainly clothes, and stuff me and TJ one of my partners can wear. Might give my other partner a shirt if they'd like....

My dad is a hero, and is going to be saving someone's life tonight with the gift of his liver. I am so proud to be his daughter, but at the same time I am so hurt that he's gone. A small piece of him is going to live on with somebody else, whoever that is. I know they will be grateful for this, and that makes me happy. so happy, my dad loved helping people. So he is very much a super hero in my eyes.

Fly high daddy. I love you so much. You are saving one more life tonight, and I am so proud of you. So very proud to be your daughter, thank you for being my dad and one of my best friends. Even if you said that we weren't. I feel in my heart of hearts we were, I will never stop thinking about you. Or what you would do, or say. what jokes you would make, or how you say them. I love you so so much. I know you will be watching over us from now on, and that you wouldn't want me crying. But dammit dad... you know how I am... I can't help it... It's going to take a while before I can think of talk about you with crying. and you know it. you were always my hero for many reasons....

Do you know how hard it is going to be for me? Not being able to call you? Not being able to excitedly chitter to you about small things like my crystals or tarot cards? or...or calling you crying because I don't feel good or I have cramps and you make me feel better by making me laugh?? I know you know... I get the concept. heh.. But...I guess something is coming from it. I'm getting to know my Uncle Floyd better... He misses you a lot dad, Floyd loves you so much. He's sending me all of these really neat pictures of you guys... and he was making me laugh. Explaining the difference between having a mullet, and having long hair with bangs... lol

Floyd has been checking in on me and everyone almost daily, I haven't talked to him this much ever... which, yeah I know I can't take all the blame. He even said so.... You know you two are so much alike its kinda scary. heh. He called me princess the other day while I was on greyhound. I don't think he was thinking about it to be honest. He's been calling me kiddo a lot, kinda like you did. I think its cute. hehehe. But I think sadly this was the push I needed to connect with him more... He also has a really nice voice, just like yours. And the push I needed to connect with Kim more too.

I know that because of my mom, my relationship with Kim has been kinda weird. But I'm realizing that... some information was revealed and more clarified to me about certain happenings with my mom and wellll.... let's just say there are A LOT of emotions right now with that... I don't even know where to begin on that.... woooboyyyy dad... there's a lot to unpack there... and I know we've kinda touched on this crap here and there and really talked about things from your point of view. But Kim told me stuffs that.... Well I'm gonna need to talk to my therapist about it first because I really don't know how to process it. Because it was during the time I was treating you so horribly.... and I'm sorry... I didn't fully know or understand what was going on. I know I know I don't have to apologize for anything I know. But knowing this new information..... I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry. Ok i'm gonna try not to say that anymore. TRY.

I'm taking a lot of your clothes to be honest, oh and Ace is like my best friend now. Look! HE HUGE DAD HOLY FUCK

As soon as I started talking to Floyd Ace came out and started loving on me. I love him so much dad, he's so soft and sweet oh my gosh. But he misses you. He's definitely your cat lol for sure your cat. Everytime attacks Kim I giggle I can't help it. it's so funny, Tucker and Flash miss you too. Tucker has been so happy to see me. I love those dogs so much. I'm so happy to see them, and cuddle with them!!!! it's been so nice to be writing this and being able to set this aside to love on one of them for a minute. It's also been nice to spend time with Bear, We hung out a little yesterday.

He needed to run to Walmart, I tagged along cause well I wanted to go for a car ride. and I wanted to spend time with him too. He did drive all the way down here for me.... and yeah I know. I'm just glad he's here, he's getting some kind of closure with all of this... I know I've always been kinda like the fixer.. always trying to fix things... like relationships. like with my mom and Kim.

I now understand what was really going on... and I...I can't fix that. I can't, I have my own shit I need to worry about dad... like how i'm gonna live without you.... how am I going to do that?? I know I have TJ and Fruits... Kim, Bear, Floyd... Yes I've been constantly talking to TJ. I've been keeping him updated every step of the way....

But not you.... goddammit dad..... I know I'm going to be ok eventually, but this fucking sucks right now... My mind is racing, one minute I'm laughing about something you joked about or said, the next i'm shaking and sobbing because you aren't here... I feel like i'm constantly panicking.... I would totally lose my mind if I wasn't here with Kim and them... honestly I think if I wasn't here with them, I think I would be hurting myself right now or wanting to be really badly.... and that's a scary thought to be honest. I don't know if I do right now... but so much has been going on that I haven't really thought bout it frankly. I'm keeping a lot of your shirts for myself and TJ. I'm gonna see if J wants any of them. If not, well I'm not worried about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I promise to take good care of your shirts that your dad gave you. I have a lot of good memories of you two together, so to have some of these shirts that I vividly remember grandpa Taylor wearing when I was little, then seeing you wearing them... now me... its.... very special to me. And I'm very honored?? I'm not sure if that's the right term, but i'm gonna go with it...Of course I'm taking your Kiss Blankie, and one of your Seahawks shirts. my favorite one. the one you always wore, you know the one. hehe. I even have the shirt J and I made for you when we were teeny tiny. My handprint is so small oh my gosh dadddd... I promise to take good care of it.

Gods....there's so much more I wanna say. But I'm not really sure how too... I definitely feel like i'm still in shock...I thought I still had time... Dad... You HAVE to tell people when you don't feel good, I know you don't like people worrying about you but... THIS IS WHYY!! GOD dad.... I'm happy your not in pain anymore I'm so happy for that, cause god knows that you hated it so much... But this was too fucking sudden for everyone. Too fucking sudden old man.... Christ... leaving me...us like this... fucking hell dad.... I just... I need you. here with me. I'm always going to need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.... you were a really good man whether you believe it yourself or not.

You ARE a good man, you saved three different lives.... but mine is going to be changed forever and you know how much I hate change like this..... Honestly personally I don't think I'll ever really get over this, or this trauma... I really don't think I will. I hate this so much I do. plain and simple. I want you here with me dammit, it's not fucking fair! It's so not fucking fair!! I hate feeling like i'm being selfish when I know this is normal....I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else I don't wanna be. I spent most of my life hating you because of my mom!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT AND ITS NOT MY FAULT. I missed out because of her, and because she lied to me about a lot of things..... and that's time I will never get back with you.... that kills me so badly..... like oh my gods it hurts bad.... so much..... I know there is still a lot of high running emotions. But you know how strongly I felt and loved.... gods... How am I going to this without you? I know I will..... but right now...I don't know how... I really don't know how..... I love you so much this hurts so badly.... I don't think I can properly pet into words how bad i'm hurting.... how badly i'm missing you right now. I know for a fact that if you were here right now, we would be talking about everything under the sun. Gods I need that right now..... I really do daddy... I just wanna talk to you, and laugh and hug you.

I would give almost anything for just one more day.... just to hear your voice, see your green eyes. hear your laugh.... feel your arms around me... I am so glad that we were able to work on our relationship. So fucking grateful. you mean so much to me daddy, you really do. I hope you know how much you mean to me.... I really really hope you do . I love you dad. I will talk soon.... maybe... might start a sideblog with letters for you... I'll have to think about that for a little bit. But I love you daddy. I will talk you later. toodles....

[princessofmerchants]

Hey ! first of all: I recently discovered you blog & totally fell in love with it🥺, especially after my "Nessian Hangover".

I know this might be a bit off-topic from your usual content, but there's something about Cassian's relationship with Mor that really irks me...and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

His actions, like pulling away from Nesta's hand in ACOWAR, left me feeling frustrated and sympathetic towards Nesta. And then there's that whole thing in Wings and Embers where he's all secretive about Nesta with Mor and doesn't wanna tell her about Nesta, which gave off major mixed signals?? I mean, describing Mor as something between a lover and a friend, while also being like family? That was so confusing, how can she be all three to him? it just felt so ... inappropriate and I felt so bad for Nesta bc obviously she deserves someone who has only eyes for her.

But then in SF he says all romantic feelings turned into familial bonds after the incident so what was that about then in WaE and pulling his hand away in ACOWAR?

Also in WaE it sounded like he primarily slept with Mor out of jealouy but in SF it does seem like he did had romantic feelings towards her ? :/ ...

And when he thought in SF about how hauntingly beautiful Mor is and how it takes his breath away and that she is lovely and perfect .... it just drove me mad tbh because this sounded very romantic coded to me which made me feel so bad for Nesta.

it has been all so confusing and inconsistent to me and also just frustrating how he talked so poetic about a woman he slept with (or did he also call Nesta also hauntingly beautiful or lovely or perfect and I'm not remembering it?), or how he didn't wanted to show Mor that he has feelings for Nesta?? :/ - so I just wondered what you thought about all of that, in hopes to calm me down or clarify bc it really almost ruined him for me (maybe I was misinterpreting stuff?).

hope that's not a weird question bc of how spesific it is haha

BTW I love your love for Nesta bc same🖤.

I love this ask, Anon, and how detailed and specific it is. It is a question after my own heart! My response is long so it's after the break.

Thank you for saying you love my love for Nesta - that means the world to me. What I especially like about your ask is, it is about canon Nesta, who is the Nesta I most treasure, and by extension about canon Nessian. I sometimes feel like a lone voice in the drafty moors of Tumblr with my deep and abiding love for canon Nessian, so the fact that this ask lets me talk about them in canon makes me happy!

I have given this a lot of thought since receiving your question, and I'm not sure how satisfying parts of my answer will be, so my apologies in advance for the fact that I am not actually going to offer an explanation for how and why all the details you listed can co-exist in a single, utterly comprehensive whole for the Cassian-Mor relationship when Cass is unquestioningly Nesta's by the end of ACOSF.

Instead, here's why the lack of things utterly lining up for these three doesn't bother me in the long run, and only slightly bothered me during the pre-ACOSF / post-ACOFAS era.

It is clear to me as a reader that SJM pivoted in a significant way between ACOMAF and ACOWAR when it comes to Mor.

I came across a post recently that explains exactly my thoughts on this. The post focuses on the current ship war but the evidence in it describes how during ACOMAF it was clear Moriel (Mor and Azriel) was likely to be endgame, but then SJM shifted Mor's arc to where she was more attracted to women, which meant needing to retcon a lot (and unfortunately a lot of Mor's charm and nuance was collateral damage that I am still hoping SJM repairs).

I think Cassian in ACOMAF needs to be read in the context of a planned future love triangle of sorts between Azriel-Mor-Cassian, into which I do think SJM planned to throw Nesta as a big bomb that beautifully blows up Cass's corner of the triangle. But the parts in "Wings and Embers" where Cass says to the reader he is worried about what Mor will think about his fixation on this human woman, I think were meant to preserve some kind of angsty triangle for the next book, which SJM (thankfully) jettisoned. I hate love triangles so I honestly would not have been a fan if that had been where SJM landed.

Now, in ACOWAR and ACOFAS, I think the Mor stuff with Cassian gets a bit more confusing, so I agree with you there. Cassian doesn't know for sure Nesta is his mate until she screams for him during the Battle of Hybern at the end of ACOWAR, so the stuff before that - e.g., him removing his hand from hers - I read in a few ways. I think being buffer to Mor with Azriel all those years messed with his head a lot, and in a way, Mor finally coming to terms with her sexuality is a really solid catalyst for her beginning to distance herself from the triangle dynamic she was a part of for 500 years, which I think was more healthy for everyone involved.

But remember, Nesta is still proud and surly in ACOWAR, not in any inherently bad way but in a way that probably didn't signal to Cassian she was particularly interested in him, even as he was drawn to her like a magnet and couldn't keep away because part of him loves her claws so much. Cass rightly protects his own heart when he has the foresight to do so in ACOWAR and ACOFAS. I always knew they would work their shit out eventually, but during the messy process of doing so I don't begrudge him a little distance when Nesta, in her trauma response to what was happening to her and around her, sometimes lashed out at the strongest individual in her vicinity who she knew could take it like a boulder weathers the storm - that person was always Cassian for her.

When I first read ACOSF, I absolutely assumed going in that Mor was going to be catty about Nessian finally starting to get together. When she wasn't, it was jarring to me. But once I finished my first reading of ACOSF, I came to a striking conclusion about Mor, ACOSF, and SJM:

The story SJM needed to tell in ACOSF would not have been aided or forwarded by Mor intervening in the Nessian dynamic in a catty way, or being a foil to anything about Nesta in that story's arc.

In other words, SJM could have written a version of Nesta and Cassian's book that included Mor challenging Nesta's right to be with Cassian, but that was unequivocally NOT the book SJM wanted or needed to write (hopefully my double negative landed correctly here, lol).

So, SJM pivoted, and sent Mor to Vallahan, so SJM could write the story she needed to write. As a writerly choice, I adore everything about it - Nesta didn't need to be fighting with another woman over rights to her mate, she needed women friendships that were pure and gloriously blank slates upon which and with whom to write and tell her and their collective story - so SJM introduced Emerie and Gwyn. SJM even brought in Mor later to teach Nesta the waltzes, and their brief exchange in which Nesta called her Morrigan and Mor invited her to call her Mor, and Nesta accepted the invitation to do so, is another breathtakingly vulnerable moment for Nesta that fills my heart right up. To this end, the promise that Mor will begin to train with the Valkyries in the next book has me so excited.

Now, there are two lines in ACOSF I still want to comment on (then I'll reign in this very long post, lol). First, I agree that Cassian's observation in his pov of how breathtakingly beautiful Mor is at the cafe toward the start of the book can come off romantic coded, though for him at this point I don't think it is. But whether it is or not, we need to remember he and Nesta still have a whole book's worth of stuff to work through with their romantic relationship.

I suspect SJM included that moment in part to set up some stakes for the Nessian arc - that, although Cassian hasn't had sex since he met Nesta, he is still a man who is drawn to admiring a beautiful woman inside and out. If Nesta had already won his exclusive attention in this regard before any of their arc began in that book, what would be the point of the book? (By the end, I do think Cassian only has eyes for Nesta, and it is absolutely because they claim each other - I don't think in the long run he would have been able to settle for less, and nor should he have.)

And, since Nessian aren't in a relationship at that point in the cafe at the beginning of the book, I'm not mad at him for admiring Mor's beauty per say. I think if Nesta invited it then, he would admire hers a lot more, and with a much more deep seated attraction. ACOSF is about them both letting their inner barriers down to allow the other to love them, so that kind of attraction still needs to be earned between them at that point in their story. His observation about Mor's beauty is in a different category entirely from where Cassian eventually lands with Nesta, so there is nothing threatening about it for me.

The other line that feels weird to me most times I read it, is when Mor baldly tells Nesta early in ACOSF that she would have sent Nesta to live in the Court of Nightmares. The only explanation I have for this moment and exchange is that for SJM it was more in service of Nesta's arc, and less about making sense coming from Mor. What I mean here is, at that moment Nesta feels wretched and all things terrible about herself, and it's a feature of that kind of disordered thinking that others around you either seem to echo what you're thinking about yourself, or sometimes do echo it in reality, if through a trauma response you've hurt those around you (*she says from personal experience*), or if through their own trauma response those around you respond in kind (as I think may have been happening with Mor in this scene).

Do I love that Mor says something so cruel to Nesta in that moment early in Nesta's healing journey? No, I do not. Do I see why it helps to heavily charge these early scenes for Nesta as she truly hits rock bottom regarding her feelings about herself? Yes, I do.

Which leads me to how I'll conclude this. I hope SJM intentionally develops Mor's story so she isn't just a device in the story arcs of others. For better or worse, some kind of reckoning between her and Az needs to happen, likely in the next book, for either to truly move on. But I hope Mor gets the attention a character like her deserves in future books.

I am A-OK with her mostly-absence from ACOSF because I don't think she would have been a productive part of Nesta's healing arc, and at the end of the day that is the heart and soul of ACOSF for me - Nesta healing.

The reason ACOSF-Nessian has my whole heart is because, it's so clear to me the ways Cassian supports Nesta's healing and is the catalyst for a lot of her growth into a person who loves herself and sees herself as worthy and deserving of love and happiness.

If he was a bit of a hot mess in the period between first meeting Nesta and getting to finally be with her as accepted mates, I don't begrudge him that.

[cressthebest]

i want to start this out by saying that if this ask is something that you are not comfortable answering or talking about please don’t answer it bc some of this might be a little personal.

i saw in one of your posts about you being ex-catholic and i was curious about that. i’m a catholic person that goes to a catholic school, in a catholic town, with a catholic family. i’ve been really thinking about being catholic recently and my problems with it. i was wondering if you could share a little of your experience with me? again if this is too personal please ignore i don’t want to pry into your life.

i promise i wasn’t ignoring this, i just suck at answering asks 😔 which is unfortunate because i love receiving asks and talking about myself

and i have no concept of person space/personal questions, so honestly it’s all chill

but my experience honestly only got worse with time. when i was little, things were more fun, as things typically are when you’re young. i was always bored in church, but i liked wearing pretty dresses and singing the songs. this post will go over a lot of uncomfortable topics and will be quite personal. you’ve been warned. blep. 👁️👅👁️

the first step, which is ignored for a long time was drumroll …. masturbation. i didn’t learn about it from books or fanfic or porn or anything. i was just a kid (maybe 13) and figuring out my body, which included being curious about why touching down there in certain ways felt good. once i realized what it was and that it was a sin, i started to struggle a lot. 1. it felt good and i didn’t want to stop feeling good in that way. 2. but it’s a sin and god did not approve.

for non-catholics reading, in catholicism we do something called confession. it’s where we go to a priest and tell him all our sins. the priest acts as god, and when you tell him this, it’s basically telling god. he then forgives you and gives you a penance, which is typically just a set of prayers to say. and they’re NOT ALLOWED to tell anyone else your sins.

well i was a regular confession attendee, but i could never bear to tell the priest that i had masturbated. lots of times i would cry after masturbating and was worried about going to hell, because i wasn’t stopping. i couldn’t figure out how to abstain from this habit (that quite frankly i didn’t even indulge in very much). lots of tears and fear associated with something that is supposed to feel good.

i can’t remember if i eventually resolved that i wouldn’t stop even tho it was a sin, or if i struggled with this up until i stopped believing in general.

it honestly started to go downhill the most once covid hit. (i was about 14) school closed, and so my mother decided that her kids (all six of us) would be homeschooled from now on. the homeschooling was the second step. she decided it would be best for our family to be catholic homeschooled. all of our books were Seton Homeschooling. any catholic homeschooler has probably heard of this program, even if they never used it. this program taught me a hella lot more about the faith. and me being autistic, this definitely became a hyperfixation. i learned a lot tbh. i probably know more about catholicism than the average practicing catholic.

knowing a lot about the faith caused me to find lots of weird “plot holes” and lots of contradictions. my faith was beginning to waiver, but i was learning everything i could about the faith, trying to answer my questions. honestly, i was starting to lose my grip on the faith.

covid being covid, this was the time i started to discover my sexuality. asexuality came first. it was a struggle to come to terms with, but i found out that there were gay people who were still catholic and i found temporary comfort in that community. i determined that my asexuality was actually a blessing from god. (he gave it to me because if i wasn’t asexual, i probably would have had sex before marriage because i love so fiercely and fully. so he gave asexuality to me so i could prevent myself from the sin of premarital sex. looking back, i think that’s a load of bullshit considering i’m actually demisexual lmao)

but then i had a ✨bi awakening✨which coincidentally took place in a church. a very pretty girl passed me in church and i forgot how to breathe lol. anyways, i left that church knowing something new about me. by the end of the week, i was thinking of myself as bi. i actually started dating this girl a few months later. funny enough, i felt like god had blessed our relationship and didn’t condemn it, simply because he allowed me to meet a girl named MARY in his CHURCH. so u felt like our relationship wasn’t a sin. she was catholic as well. we were quite the pair.

at this point, i was grasping at threads trying to find a reason to still be catholic. the next big incident snapped the thread. my best freind (catholic) told me that my relationship with mary was a sin and she couldn’t support it. i hung up with her lol. she called back and i said i’d only stay on the phone if she wasn’t mean. she proceeded to pull out a script she wrote to tell me how this was a sin and the guilty feelings i was having was because deep down i knew it was a sin. (it was just internalized homophobia). i hung up again. she texted me a long script and said i was going to hell. i blocked her.

here’s the part where the issue unfolds. she told her mom the situation, and her mom called my mom. she outed me to my mother. that night, not only did i lose my best friend and my girlfriend, but also any sense of comfort i felt in my house for about three years. (don’t worry for my safety. mother took away lots of my privileges such as internet, friends coming over, me being able to text most of my friends, going to my friend’s places, sleepovers, etc. but it was never unsafe for me) but that incident was probably the final drop that made the bucket overflow. i stopped believing in god sometime after that.

my loss of faith and discovery of sexuality are tied together and i cannot separate those journeys. however, i do believe that even without a sexuality discovery, i would have realized i didn’t believe in catholicism any more.

knowing as much as i did about catholicism, combined with my firm-proof-needing autism, and my sexuality discovery, all led me to lose the faith. after leaving it, i began to despise it, while also feeling guilty. it took many years to become okay with no longer being catholic.

though i would also like to note that even the catholic institution is quite corrupt and i hate organized church, i don’t hate people for being catholic. it makes me wary at first, but catholicism and god are not the issues. i don’t hate on people for being catholic or believing, nor do i want to belittle their faith. however, i feel like the catholic community is corrupt.

i don’t want to encourage you in either direction. do what’s best for you and what would help you be the best person and most happy in your life. i encourage you to question things and be curious about the faith. it might make your faith stronger, and you will be happy you did it, or you will realize this isn’t something you want to spend time on anymore. it’s up to you. and it may take YEARS to figure out. be kind to yourself and to others, and i guarantee it will be okay. no matter what you discover, you’ll have a community waiting for you.

as an end note, i’d like to add that you can ask any follow up questions you please. i’m willing to answer anything. if you require clarification on anything, just shoot an ask. i am aware that i wrote this while very sick with strep and honestly some of this might not make sense.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep21: Before and After

Ah, the one where Kes travels through the extremely cursed future timeline. I have a hard time forming an objective opinion about it's merits as an episode, because I'm just like 'nope! do not want!!' the whole time. But godawful cursed timeline aside, there were a few nice things in it here and there that saved it from being totally awful.

For one thing, it's nice to get a Kes episode that isn't about some old man being creepily obsessed with her, so that's a win right there. (The bar is so fucking low, lmao). Jennifer Lien does a terrific job as an elderly version of Kes, especially considering she was only 20 or 21 at the time. She's very believable, and the makeup was pretty good too. But everything else about the future timeline she experiences is just like, what??

First of all, the Doctor randomly has hair in the future?? Okay. But tbh, having him keep choosing names for himself like Mozart and Van Gogh is actually hilariously on brand given the Doctor's penchant for self-aggrandisement.

Then we meet Kes's future family, which is a whole other level of yikes. She's married to Tom (I thought they finally let that die, jfc!!) and they have a daughter, who's married to Harry, and they have a son. I know the Ocampa nine year lifespan is kind of an extenuating circumstance, but still, marrying your best friend's kid is just weird!! It's gross!! Do not want!! I love Tom and Harry's friendship so much, don't make it weird like that!!

We find out Neelix becomes a security officer, which is, yet again, wtf?? Neelix has no expertise that would suit him to that, and more importantly, Tuvok can't stand him. Stop forcing them together!! It's yet again weird and gross how they will not let them just agree to be acquaintances. Stop forcing them to be best friends when Tuvok clearly doesn't want it!!

Worst of all, we find out that Chakotay is the captain, because Captain Janeway and B'Elanna both died during an attack by the Krenim during the year of hell. Wow, no thank you!! cursed timeline cursed timeline cursed timeline!!!! It felt so weird and empty not having them there for most of the episode. Please let us out of this nightmare!!

At the very least, they conceded that B'Elanna would have to die for Tom to look at anyone else. Tom is certainly one of the least objectionable suitors they've ever thrown at Kes, since he's a good person, who's somewhat close to her in age, but I'm just tired of Kes being given romantic subplots every single episode. Plus, after they finally stopped giving Tom shallow crushes and let him really fall for B'Elanna, it feels really weird and wrong to go back to a pairing from his shallow crush era.

It's hard to not look at the whole thing through my shipper glasses, since I'm Team Paris/Torres for life, but I can still appreciate the idea that in any timeline, Tom is 100% a wife guy. Tom actually had a lot to do in this one, and a lot of really sweet scenes of just being a super devoted husband. While he and Kes have no romantic chemistry at all, and make the absolute blandest, most boring couple I've ever seen, it still tracks that Tom would always devote himself to being a good husband and dad, even though his relationship with Kes here has an undertone of being a desperate 'any port in a storm' situation. (He's totally still not over B'Elanna here- it's years later, and he's married to someone else, with a kid, and he still gets super emotional talking about her. She's the love of his life in every timeline!! Fight me!!)

There's several nice little moments here and there- Tom and Kes's cursed timeline daughter Linnis talking about how her husband Harry is so good with their baby son, and sings to him all the time (awww!), and Neelix affectionately calling Kes 'Kessie' at one point. (I'm 100% here for Kes and Neelix staying friends. I didn't like them romantically, but I thought they had a sweet chemistry when they let Neelix actually be nice to her. And the idea that ending a romance doesn't have to end a friendship is so important to show.) Also, I noticed Harry had two pips in the future scenes! Which tracks tbh- Chakotay would promote him if he were captain, because unlike Janeway, he doesn't think of Harry as a precious baby son who's never allowed to grow up, lol.

Some very un-nice moments were Tom and Chakotay having to see B'Elanna and Janeway die in front of them (trying to give all the shippers angst today, are we?), and Tom being there for his fake daughter's birth, while knowing in retrospect that he doesn't get to be with B'Elanna during his real daughter's birth later on. (I know, flying Voyager home was important, but it absolutely rips my heart out that he didn't get to have that.)

While this episode, yet again, reminds me of the Next Gen episode 'Future Imperfect', with a crewmember waking up to a future timeline and a family they don't remember, it was different enough that I wouldn't quite call it a rip off of that. Kes's shifting backwards in time through her life reminded me a lot of Picard's time-shifting in 'All Good Things' though, even though the situations were different, but this is nowhere near as good a story as that was. It was at least well paced, and never boring. While I personally didn't enjoy most of the choices made in this episode, at the very least, it all got reversed in the end when they shifted Kes back to her rightful place in the timeline.

The scene at the end, with everyone on the holodeck together having a little party, was very cute, and we see Kes wearing her new longer hairstyle from here on out. (I can't help but feel like they were trying to make her more attractive to the guys in the audience with the longer hair, but at least she's in a regular dress this time, and not a catsuit or a little jumper dress.)

While I liked that we got a scene of Kes heroically climbing through a jeffries tube to get a reading on an unexploded torpedo, and that she became a doctor in the future timeline (yes!!!) I'm still disappointed that nearly all of Kes's episodes focus so heavily on romantic relationships with men. It wasn't creepy this time, at least, but still, 'not creepy' is the lowest bar imaginable, and Kes, and the audience, deserved better.

Tl;dr: A less offensive storyline than most Kes episodes, and well acted by Jennifer Lien, but the alternate timeline in this one is so cursed that it's not a lot of fun to watch, especially if you're a Paris/Torres shipper.

[chaoscradle]

assigning GUTS songs to stranger things characters (i know this has been done a ton of times already but i'm doing it anyway):

all-american bitch: nancy

"I know my age and I act like it"

"I'm a perfect all-american bitch"

"I know my place, I know my place, and this is it"

"I'm the eternal optimist, I scream inside to deal with it"

"I pay attention to things most people ignore"

(el could also work with this one, but i felt like with the whole nuclear family thing the wheelers have going on that nancy fits better)

bad idea right?: max

"'I only see him as a friend' the biggest lie I ever said"

"can't two people reconnect?"

"but god, when I look at you, my brain goes 'ah', can't hear my thoughts"

vampire: joyce

"every girl I talked to told me you were bad, bad news"

"you're so convincing, how do you lie without flinching?"

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine"

"the way you sold me for parts"

"you said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? you can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart"

"I loved you truly. gotta laugh at the stupidity"

lacy: el

"I linger all the time, watchin', hidden in plain sight"

"aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?"

"I feel your compliments like bullets on skin"

"and I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you"

ballad of a homeschooled girl: mike

"and I hate all my clothes, feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones"

"the party's done, and I'm no fun, I know I know, I know, I know"

"I made it weird, I made it worse"

"everything I do is tragic"

"I'm shocked I'm still alive"

(this could also work for robin tbh)

making the bed: mike

"another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine, another thing I forced to be a sign"

"push away all the people who know me the best"

"every good thing has turned into something I dread"

"and I tell someone I love them, just as a distraction"

logical: will (psa this is from will's pov i don't think any of this of mike)

"come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you"

"and I fell for you like rain falls from a February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried"

"oh, why do I do this? I look so stupid thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life"

"'cause if rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changing you is possible"

"you lied, you lied, you lied"

"I guess love is never logical"

"the sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said"

"I know I'm half responsible, and that makes me feel horrible"

"I know I could've stopped it all, god why didn't I stop it all?"

"'cause loving you is loving every argument you held over my head"

get him back!: max (NOT about lumax, just how she'd handle a different breakup)

"I want sweet revenge, I want him again"

"do I love him? do I hate him? I guess it's up and down"

"I wanna make him really jealous, I wanna make him feel bad"

"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up"

"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks"

love is embarrassing: will

"and then, you kissed some girl from high school"

"waited by my phone like a goddamn fool"

"god, love's embarrassing as hell"

"and I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy" (minus the new guy part)

"you found a new version of me"

"I give up, I give up, but I keep comin' back for more"

the grudge: lucas

"how could anyone do the things you did so easily?"

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me, and I know you don't care, I guess that's fine"

"one phone call from you and my entire world was changed"

"and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it"

"and I know in my heart, hurt people hurt people"

(this song doesn't 100% represent lucas and max's relationship in s4 imo but it comes the closest)

pretty isn't pretty: el

"there's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong"

"when pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same"

"fix the thing you hated, and you'd still feel insecure"

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life, and none of it matters and none of it ends"

teenage dream: will

"they all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?"

"when am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me" (birthdaygate)

"but I fear that they already got all the best parts of me"

"will I spend all the rest of my years wishin' I could go back?"