#it is by far not the worst that has been said by a cast member

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

Oh some of you are actually fucking horrible people.

In what world is it okay to degrade someone for their looks???

If you don’t like a character, an actor, a writer, anyone, fine.

But you don’t fucking degrade them for their looks???

[seilon]

i know im not alone on this but i also know this statement is like waving a stick at a hornets nest. my overall memories and nostalgia related to hetalia are generally not bad and i think it may have saved a depression-riddled middle school aged me from being lured towards way darker and more mentally damaging content or online groups

[inhuman-obey-me]

Solomon, Nightbringer, and the Fight Over Humanity

(Not in that order)

So, we have plenty of things to discuss about Nightbringer.

It would be way too much to tackle it all in one post, so here we're going to focus on Lesson 9/10-A -- which provided an interesting insight on Solomon, angels and demons, and Nightbringer.

(We will, however, also be bringing up information in Lesson 11 normal mode as well, so, spoilers ahead!)

Let's start with Solomon, and his self-assigned role as a so-called protector of the human world.

Solomon, of course, is the sole human of the cast apart from MC. He is called the "Witty Sorcerer", as well as referred to as Solomon the Wise, and he's also known as the most powerful sorcerer ever to have lived. He received his Ring of Wisdom from Michael, and has pacts with 72 demons. In other words, he has ties to both realms, obtained power from both, and thus became the most powerful human magically ever to exist -- at least until MC came along. This is why he represented the human world when all the chaos was happening in Season 2, and why he is the representative for humanity now.

So, as the one who represents humans, in Lesson 9-A, he is asked to choose: Diavolo or Simeon? Demons or angels? Which road should humans follow? Protection or happiness?

In 10-A, he responds by calling it an "impossible choice." So he chooses neither.

This gives us a lot of context as to what he meant by "protector of the human world" -- someone who is trying to keep out those influencing forces. He wants the human world to be seen not as something "between" the two other realms, but as something capable of standing on its own and making its own choices. Rather than being something to be fought over between demons and angels, which have always been vastly more powerful than humans, but he wants humanity to be respected as its own neutral third party which should be left alone. Humans should be free to determine their own fates, not members of these other two realms.

(Interestingly, on a side note -- the line "I just want to be free, that's all" sounds a lot like something Thirteen would say! Perhaps that's one reason why, despite her frustrations with him and constant efforts to obtain his soul, she actually seems to understand him and be sort of close with him?)

Now, of course, this is a fake scenario, and Diavolo and Simeon themselves were not actually personally fighting over humanity this way. As he said, the place is "definitely strange" and, as he says soon after, is just a test of his convictions. Still, it effectively gets to the heart of what demons and angels have fought over since forever: control of humanity. Sure, Diavolo wants to establish peace and respect between the realms -- but outside of him, it gets at the heart of the bigger picture of the historical conflicts between the Devildom and Celestial Realm.

And that, then, brings us to Nightbringer, the character, and what their goals may be.

Solomon mentions that him wanting to be free is part of the agreement with 'him' -- and given the character he speaks to right after this scene is Nightbringer, we can assume that's probably who he's referring to. What exactly that agreement entails remains to be seen, but in their conversation we see that Nightbringer had wanted Solomon to choose a side.

Nightbringer also brings up MC, wondering if our involvement will affect Solomon's convictions, but Solomon insists that MC would make the same choice.

Nightbringer pushes the question, however, questioning whether Solomon can truly know how MC feels or what MC will do. It's no wonder then that in Lesson 11 Solomon tries to make MC promise that in the worst case scenario, MC would side with humanity. Whatever Solomon's agreement with Nightbringer is, it seems that it not only has to do with his freedom but humanity as a whole.

Which of course brings us to the big question: Who is Nightbringer?

All things so far have been pointing to Barbatos -- we see him in the opening animation and the prologue animation. We know Nightbringer has control over time, which has always been Barbatos' wheelhouse. Lesson 11 further seems to imply this, as we have an interesting link in conversations. In Lesson 10-A, Solomon says that Nightbringer "made him who he is today".

In Lesson 11, we learn a bit more about Solomon and Barbatos' relationship thanks to Thirteen. She mentions that Barbatos is the one who brought Solomon to the Reaper's Cave, and more importantly to the Fountain of Knowledge within the cave. That was also when Barbatos tells Solomon he is the "Witty Sorcerer". Thirteen also says before this that she blames Barbatos for how Solomon is the way he is because he let Solomon experience "anything he wanted".

This actually tracks with conversations all the way back in Season 3. We know that when Barbatos first met Solomon, the latter was on the verge of death after summoning Barbatos without a pact. We also know that Solomon was not known as Solomon the Wise/the Witty Sorcerer yet, but Barbatos knew he would be in the future.

(Wow, Solmare actually being consistent on something for once? Amazing.)

With all of that information, we can easily see Barbatos "being who made Solomon who he is today", and thus being Nightbringer. What version of Barbatos though, we have no idea, because it certainly isn't the Barbatos we are familiar with. But considering time travel shenanigans, as well as the fact that Barbatos seems to even have power over alternate universes, there are just too many possibilities to even begin to guess.

Now, before Lesson 11 we actually were ready to post our theory that Nightbringer could possibly be Michael. Why?

Solomon makes a mention that Nightbringer "sounds like a demon" with the threat, which is a weird thing to say to a demon

We've heard characters mention that Lucifer and Michael were both the head angels and similar in many ways, but also were in a sense opposites. Lucifer, as a Latin name, translates to light-bringer -- so Michael could be the opposite, night-bringer

Michael has previously sent us back from the past, back in Lesson 44, suggesting some degree of power over time -- although with the caveat that MC had come there via a dream, not physically as we have this time

When talking with Adam in NB Lesson 8, he mentions that he heard trumpets before meeting Nightbringer, and trumpets are often associated with angels, though Adam believed it to be a demon

Michael is the one who gave Solomon the Ring of Wisdom, also "making him who he is" in a way. You also have to complete all of Lesson 10 to unlock 10-A, and the last scene we see is Lucifer recognizing the Ring of Light on MC -- an interesting parallel, to say the least, timing-wise

However, there are plenty of holes in that theory, which Lesson 11 just seemed to amplify.

Us being us, of course, we actually would like to provide a third option for who Nightbringer could be. There just so happens to be another demon that Solomon has a pact with in the Ars Goetia that also has control over time, and is associated with the sounds of trumpets... :)

Of course, we don't actually expect the game to have suddenly put Purson in as another character in the game, but it's a fun idea. After all, Nightbringer could potentially be someone else entirely and Barbatos is just a red herring!

We'll just have to wait and see for now, and we still have hard mode to finish getting through too, but damn are we ravenous for more Nightbringer content.

[blossomthepinkbunny]

I think a much better structure for Hazbin Hotel would've been to focus solely on hell for the first season. Charlie would advertise the hotel and there would be guests looking to be redeemed. Without having to focus on Charlie convincing heaven of her idea, they could've spent a lot more time to get us to actually care about our main cast as well as introducing the citizens of hell in a more natural way. I know they would still have to work with just 8 episodes but it would've been much more focused if they actually had the hotel be the main source of story for season one. Right now I don't really care for the characters of HH.

Like Valeria was an ex-exorcist? Okay, I don't really know anything about her that would've made me assume she wasn't, except for the fact that she loves Charlie and from how Charlie was portrayed so far I assume she is going to forgive her immediately. Oh, everything is resolved within one episode.

Sir Pentious (presumably) died and everyone is sad? Well they didn't seem to even know him that well and they never gave us the impression that they cared about him. His progression wasn't even shown and we don't know what he did that actually redeemed him. I guess it's still kinda sad that he died. Oh, he is actually alive ... alright moving on.

Charlie doesn't have a good relationship with her dad? Well it's gonna be interesting how they'll make me feel for their relationship when Lucifer basically neglected her and when he's someone allowing the extermination of the people Charlie wants to save to happen. Oh, they resolved it in the same episode he first appeared in by saying he actually just really cares for her and he was just misunderstood and rejected by people. It's good that Lucifer apparently cares for his relationship with Charlie, because I don't.

The only character moment I kinda felt for was Angel standing up to Valentino (which one could argue was also pretty mishandled, but that's for victims of abuse to judge). And making the viewer feel bad about abuse happening is like holding a box of puppies in front of an audience and then patting yourself on the back for making them say "aww".

The main problem is that we never get to spend enough time with any of these people because the show also has to focus on heaven, Adam and Charlie still trying to pitch her idea. In my imagination, the hotel does fine and attracts guests. Not too many but still some sinners who could be used to show the variety of hell and it's citizens. They could also show that there are people down there who aren't literally the worst sinners you could imagine, who wouldn't have gone heaven anyways, even if it wasn't corrupt apparently. Each episode could focus on Charlie trying to redeem someone, with a second plot maybe focused on a member of the hotel staff. And when a character needs more time dedicated to them specifically (like Angel or maybe Sir Pentious), you could have the redeeming either happening in the background as a B-plot or just fully focus on said character. Lucifer could be more present with making his bad relationship with Charlie one of her driving motives to keep the hotel going or with showing him actually supporting the hotel, probably giving it more believability in hell. The Vees would be the main antagonists instead of Adam of season 1 as they are in hell and could be connected to the characters' struggles. Valentinos and Angels storyline would work when he and his team have already been established as well. Vox could be used more in his rivalry with Alastor and maybe Velvette could also have some connection to the main cast (maybe with Valeria or Nifty or just in general with citizens in hell). The Vees could be used to flesh out hell as a place more and also the characters of course. And Adam wouldn't really appear in s1 but could be mentioned here and there, possibly with Lucifer making remarks like: "Adam isn't going to approve of this" or something like that.

The end of season one would maybe feature Charlie and Lucifer finally making up in a way and the end of certain character plots. There could also be a final showdown with the Vees and the character stories they impact could be solved in a way. The real last scenes could be that the hotel has reached a milestone, like maybe Charlie redeemed 10 sinners now and that's reason to celebrate. But as the sinners party happily, finally believing that theres a way they can resolve the issue without needing a war, the scene cuts to heaven and we see Adam looking to the sinners filled with hope and his face just makes it clear that he isn't going to let them get away with this. Adam would then be the main antagonist of season two.

Hazbin Hotel really just has a problem with the plot being really overstuffed. And even my version might seem like a lot to cover with just 8 episodes but it could definitely work if done right. A lot of stuff could be cut, like Carmillas whole arc, Charlie talking to Adam and visiting heaven, Valerias backstory reveal, introducing Sera and Emily, Building the army and the fight at the end (probably other stuff that I don't remember now). Carmilla could be introduced in s2, when heaven and the exterminations are really in focus. Velvette could still bring up the dead exterminator (possibly to show that even after the Vees were technically defeated they still exist and cause troubls, unless they were killed in the s1 finale of course). Mimzy and Rosie could just be cut fully or brought in in other ways. Maybe Charlie wants to redeem a really greedy sinner and so Alastor suggests that she visits Mimzy to really find out what makes someone so greedy or something. Or in season two, after the date of the exterminations gets moved forward, more and more sinners come to the hotel out of fear of dying. Charlie would want to know how to be a more respected and direct leader without coming off as mean and so Alastor introduces her to Rosie. Then they could still have the big cannibal army at the end.

These are just some thoughts on how the show could be structured better and make the story feel less crowded. This would obviously go hand in hand with some character rewriting.

[dullgecko]

Okay another list!!! One happy and one sad for each

Fabian has night terrors- many of them related to that one dream he got in Leviathan

Fabian is now a happy host to the best setup service in the school (dating the former president has its perks in terms of gossip, and your best friend being a brilliant rogue is also very helpful)

Adaine is allergic to a very specific washing detergent and it never comes up until one time Jawbone and Sandra Lynn buy it and she wakes up with rashes all over

Adaine is slowly learning how to eat a normal amount of food, and very quickly discovering how much she loves food

Gorgug once in a while will get very, very angry for seemingly no reason (it's a part of Orcish physiology that has never been studied; a means of protection for their clubs (orc family groups) and never harmful to said members). The bad kids have learned to recognize the signs and do their best to calm him down, but often during it he'll say some very hurtful things. Afterwards he always shuts down, and won't speak at all. He often has nightmares about hurting the other bad kids.

Gorgug will happily let any member of the bad kids climb on him. He loves being a jungle gym, and to be honest, it's a really good workout.

Fig has the worst period of any of the bad girls. It leaves her literally stuck in bed and no amount of medicine helps save very addictive painkillers. So she's stuck in bed for a bit.

Fig actually is very good at pop music, she has the voice for it, and she likes practicing or warming up with a pop song

Riz has never gotten over when Grix cast Dominate Monster on him. He hasn't told his mother (and never plans to), but he gets nightmares about his friends leaving him because he's "monstrous"

Riz is the best person to ask to remind you of something. He has a notebook specifically for things members of the bad kids have asked him to remind them of. Aside from that, he has a very good memory, which helps with research.

Kristen has super bad body dysphoria. She often doesn't like to look in mirrors and can't look down at herself. She wears lots of baggy t-shirt when it happens (she runs far too warm to wear hoodies; Helio's blessing on her as his chosen one when she was a kid).

Kristen is always the life of the party. She thrives in making others smile and all in all being a good host. Her and Fabian throw the best parties, and given their more introverted friends, also always have an introvert corner/quiet space at said parties.

Sorry i took so long to get to this one, these big asks are harder for me to answer on a dinky phone screen. I had to wait until i got home so i could reach MAXIMUM WPM with a keyboard.

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//Fabian has night terrors- many of them related to that one dream he got in Leviathan//

Fabian occasionally has night terrors, and as the years go on he keeps getting more and more horrifying scenarios to add to them. It started off with the night his father died and he lost his eye, and sometimes he dreams he wasnt there in time to save his mother.

It only gets worse from Laviathan and the nightmare forest, and becomes a rotating parade of Chungledown Bim, Whitclaw, his swim in the ocean, him being a passenger in his own body while he watches himself stab the Hangman (this one is sometimes swapped out to him stabbing Riz instead), that dream he had where he basically became Gilear, and of course that fucking sexy rat.

Junior year just adds a lovely sprinkling of him being in his house, alone, and when he leaves his house the town is also completely empty.

He usually wakes up in a panic and calls Riz (who he knows is probably still awake, and even if he wasn't still answers by the second ring) and gets him to info dump about whatever he's working on until his heart rate calms down.

//Fabian is now a happy host to the best setup service in the school (dating the former president has its perks in terms of gossip, and your best friend being a brilliant rogue is also very helpful)//

It started during junior year when he was hosting his lofi study nights, he wasnt dating Mazey yet but they were still friendly with eachother. She was an absoloute sucker for romance, so she tended to keep a finger on the pulse so to speak of what the most recent crushes were, and who wanted to ask out who. Fabian was more than happy to start helping her nudge these budding romances along (and Riz begrudgingly got roped into delivering confession notes from time to time... its fine, he got extra credit in his rogue classes which he forced Fabian to sign the paperwork for).

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//Adaine is allergic to a very specific washing detergent and it never comes up until one time Jawbone and Sandra Lynn buy it and she wakes up with rashes all over//

Adaine would never know she was sensitive to some kinds of laundry detergent, simply because the laundry detergent used in her house had been some sort of fancy elven concoction that would have cost half of Jawbones salary. This new one smelled really nice, and had been half off, but was apparently created to torture Adaine specifically.

The rashes went away after a few hours and an antihistamine, but she had to use prestidigitation on all her clothes to make sure there was none of the residue left. Prestidigitation left the clothes clean but now without the nice scent and also just a little bit scratchy because there was no softener left between the fibres.

Jawbone tossed the almost completely full box in the trash, and purchased one specifically for sensitive skin the same day (and they made sure to test it for Adaine by washing a small rag and holding it against her arm so they could check for a reaction).

//Adaine is slowly learning how to eat a normal amount of food, and very quickly discovering how much she loves food//

Elves, as a general rule, don't eat a very large amount of food or even need to. Even with that said, Adaine was never given very much food even by elven standards when she was growing up. Once Jawbone found out, he makes sure that she has both a good breakfast every chance he gets AND snacks packed in her bag for throughout the day. Not to mention dinner and desserts and hot drinks before bed AND midnight snacks. All of it delicious, and Adaine loves every single bit of it (oracle visions use up a LOT of calories it turns out).

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//Gorgug once in a while will get very, very angry for seemingly no reason (it's a part of Orcish physiology that has never been studied; a means of protection for their clubs (orc family groups) and never harmful to said members). The bad kids have learned to recognize the signs and do their best to calm him down, but often during it he'll say some very hurtful things. Afterwards he always shuts down, and won't speak at all. He often has nightmares about hurting the other bad kids.//

He cant really help it, but his friends and family have given him some pretty good coping mechanisms throughout the year. It mostly manifests as him getting an extreamly short fuse for a few days, and a lot of restless energy, which can cause him to snap and be mean even if he doesnt really mean the things he says. If he can feel the anger coming, usually he'll completely remove himself from the situation before he hurts someone and will try to burn off some energy by either going for a run or swinging his ax around until he's exhausted.

//Gorgug will happily let any member of the bad kids climb on him. He loves being a jungle gym, and to be honest, it's a really good workout.//

Gorgug was surprised at first by how willing the other kids were to clamber all over him, but he supposed it made a sort of sense. Initially it was just Riz, but he would climb ANYTHING to get a higher vantage point if it stood still long enough. The goblin was also absoloutley fearless when it came to heights and rather than just jumping on him for a piggy back ride like Kristen and Fig he would stand and perch and, if Gorgug held his arm out straight, would walk along his outstretched arm as if he wasnt nearly twice his height off the ground.

The other kids would also lean on him whenever he sat down, or flop across his legs, and would just laugh and let him pick them up and move them somewhere more comfortable. On one occasion they got into a conversation where the topic of 'how many of your teammates could you pick up and get out of danger in an emergency' came up. The answer was all of them, but they had to get creative with the configuration because he only has two hands.

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//Fig has the worst period of any of the bad girls. It leaves her literally stuck in bed and no amount of medicine helps save very addictive painkillers. So she's stuck in bed for a bit.//

It started getting bad right around when her infernal characteristics started coming in. The doctors can't really do much rather than throw medication at her and give her excused absenses from school. Their best guess for the reason its so bad is so common it literally transcends realities "we dont know, its just like that sometimes, take some painkillers and use a heat pack". Even in Spyre where magic and fantasy abound, womens health can be an absoloute joke.

//Fig actually is very good at pop music, she has the voice for it, and she likes practicing or warming up with a pop song//

Fig is an incredibly talented bard, and as long as she's feeling the vibe she can absoloutly nail whatever song she feels like performing that day. She doesnt even have a genre thats really her favorite, she just listens to and sings songs she likes. Sometimes that's going to be pop, maybe country, and sometimes she gets REALLY into some death metal.

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//Riz has never gotten over when Grix cast Dominate Monster on him. He hasn't told his mother (and never plans to), but he gets nightmares about his friends leaving him because he's "monstrous"//

Riz has an incredibly deep self-hatred for the part of him thats a monster, so much so that he tries VERY hard to present himself in such a way that people will overlook it. The manners, the way he dresses and the way he acts in public is all supposed to project an aura of 'i'm harmless, im just a polite little guy in a nice suit, im smart and well read and i help people in my job. im not like those creatures that are the bad guys you tell your children at night'. The other bad kids didn't even know he had a tail for almost a full YEAR after he met them because he kept it tucked away so he had a less monsterous appearance. The children at his first school used to bully him horribly about it, and he has on more than one occasion had it pulled or stomped on hard enough to cause bones to break. His tail is part of his SPINE and is incredibly sensitive, only very close family and lovers are even allowed to touch it in goblin society and injuries like that are debilitating.

His friends accepting him for the way he is is very slowly helping him get past that, but the acting principal casting dominate monster on him hurts a lot more than he lets on. Not dominate person, specifically dominate monster. It makes him feel sick to his stomach and he backslides into the self-hating pretty hard afterwards and his dreams reflect it (when he even sleeps that is, his primary method of self-harming is denying himself sleep so that he can keep being useful and un-monsterous). Jawbone does his best to help when he notices something is wrong.

//Riz is the best person to ask to remind you of something. He has a notebook specifically for things members of the bad kids have asked him to remind them of. Aside from that, he has a very good memory, which helps with research.//

Riz has an excellent memory, but he'll still write it down as long as its not something that could be used against them later. He's a smart enough rogue not to leave evidence behind if he can help it. Even the more mundane things he writes down though are in his own personal cypher, but he hasnt yet had to actually use the notes he takes in order to remember to do something. Its more of a backup just in case of memory wipes.

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//Kristen has super bad body dysphoria. She often doesn't like to look in mirrors and can't look down at herself. She wears lots of baggy t-shirt when it happens (she runs far too warm to wear hoodies; Helio's blessing on her as his chosen one when she was a kid).//

It starts after she revives herself in the Nightmare Forest. She literally recreated her body from a single finger bone and sometimes it feels like she did it wrong somehow. Sometimes she'll catch herself scrutinising her face in the mirror, wondering if she always had that freckle or if her nose really was that shape before she died. Were her arms always that long, did her ears always poke out to the side like that, was her hair always that specific colour or was it more red?

Once she starts working out the body dysphoria starts to get a little bit better, pushing herself to physical exhaustion helps keep her grounded and makes her feel like YES this is my real body, i exist in it and it belongs to me. Its a process, but she's working on it.

//Kristen is always the life of the party. She thrives in making others smile and all in all being a good host. Her and Fabian throw the best parties, and given their more introverted friends, also always have an introvert corner/quiet space at said parties.//

Bad kid parties are an absoloute event. The more social members of the party all have their roles to play and damn do they play them well. Kristen for her part is in charge of the general health and wellbeing of everyone at the party, making her rounds to make sure everyone is having fun and doing okay and generally having a good time. Its a very Cleric role to have, but thats what makes her so good at it.

[chalkrevelations]

if you don't want to talk about this further, just ignore this of course, but have you seen pond's fucking instagram post about build? (without saying his name of course) i know automatic translations can be wonky, but overall, he is making it all about himself and his feelings, STILL "both sides" the whole thing, and throws in a "watch the new ep of our show" (you know... the one they took away from build) at the end. the audacity that man has is just beyond comprehension. i truly hope karma will do its thing and ruin the company and that man's life.

Hi, Anon. I. Hm.

I went back and forth a couple of times on whether I actually did want to respond to this. I have a lot of feelings and opinions about Pond and about BOC under his direction that I’ve rarely spoken about so publicly (although I have some suspicions, for Reasons, that some things I’ve said in semi-private spaces have been spread further than those spaces). I'm very aware that I'm at a cultural and linguistic disadvantage when I try to evaluate anything about Pond or BOC and that I'm therefore working with limited information. But I don’t think it’s a big secret I’m not a fan of Pond’s. From what I’ve seen, I think his behavior has been deeply problematic and unethical, and not just in relationship to Build’s situation - although the way he’s tried to portray himself as peacemaker during this whole debacle with Poi has certainly only exacerbated my negative impression. The best I can give him is that maybe he’s unaware of his own unctuous self-centeredness? So, while it would be gross and skeevy that he would 1) make something as serious as this all about himself and his own feelings, and 2) use it as a mercenary chance to flog his latest BOC property despite the fact that property no longer has anything to do with Build, I wouldn't be surprised by it.

Personally, I'm sorry that I gave him and his company the benefit of the doubt for as long as I did. Like many other people, I bought into the “big happy family” fan service for a while, before eventually accepting that it was just as much fan service as any branded pair, so, mea culpa on that front, right? But I think too many people didn’t and haven’t realized or accepted that, and that Build in particular has paid an out-sized price for it - including when people have put the blame on him for the cracks in the facade, especially in misplaced anger and outrage over the “leaked” DMs that threatened the happy found-family narrative BOC was selling and that fans want(ed) to believe.

I think Pond and BOC have been very good at manipulating fan sentiment into believing their self-imposed Hero Edit and self-promotion as industry disrupter, despite evidence to the contrary that goes back as far as the filming of KPTS, when Poi and Yok got away with sexually and otherwise harassing multiple cast members, including a teenaged Barcode. It extends through leveraging Barcode’s and other cast members' emotional response to Jeff’s departure to provide a show for a live concert audience, and forward to a reality show in which a bunch of young wannabe actors were pressured into exposing their worst moments, on television, for prurient viewer interest. Setting up Apo, of all people, to hawk skin lightener was a terrible thing to do and makes everyone involved a worse human being.

So, no, I wouldn't find this latest skeevy behavior surprising. I don’t know what Build’s hopes and plans are, as far as regaining a domestic career, and he's always seemed, publicly at least, to be far more forgiving of Pond than I would be in his position. I don't know if that's personal, cultural, or professionally rooted. But I personally hope Build has enough resources to allow him to avoid getting involved with Pond again, given the way Pond and BOC have treated him – from folding to a ginned-up harassment campaign so that Build was kept out of the public eye precisely when VP was airing/trending (funny, that), through leaving him to twist in the wind from the time of Poi’s first salvo of plagiarism accusations - which BOC apparently couldn’t be bothered to respond to, even though it was one of their properties at issue - to Pond standing around for a year and a half with his hands in the air like a bystander while Nong Poi publicly curbstomped someone who Pond claimed was a friend and part of his work "family," before sad-facing for the press about how hurtful it was that Build decided to leave the “family” that had publicly damnatio memoriae’d him.

Anyway, that's really more time and emotional spoons than I want to spend on Pond or his company - tbqh, they're one reason I'm semi-hiatusing at this point - so I'm likely done talking about them after this. But as usual, once I start, I talk forever, so here this is.

[fraudulent-cheese]

Think you would change any of the finalists of any of the seasons? Think you mentioned a Pahkitew redo or something, would that be a part of it?

OH BOY THAT IS. A QUESTION IN A HALF

I'll start off by giving my opinion on all the finalists of each season!

TDI: Honestly, i wouldn't change it. Both Gwen and Owen are pretty relevant characters, they're fun as the finalists and it makes sense they'd make it that far tbh. I wouldn't swap them out for anyone else this season outside of maybe Leshawna if her elimination wasn't so cheap? That or change it to be like "oh yeah we should make them stay in this nice resort instead of that shitty summer camp" as motivation for nominating someone during Haute-Campture. Idk. Id be more in favor of finalist Leshawna if Fresh TV, you know, gave her more relevance outside of being Gwen's bestie towards the end? And just gave her character depth? Or an arc on her own? But she's the only other candidate in my eyes

TDA: I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: THE FINALISTS SHOULD'VE BEEN LINDSAY AND HAROLD. why was Duncan a finalist. Literally why. What does he do that's interesting enough to justify keeping him for the ENTIRE SEASON. If you wanted to do the Courtney list plotthread, just introduce it earlier on in the season and kick Duncan then! Or better yet, make one of the early rejoins be Courtney instead and have Duncan get eliminated pre-merge and Izzy come back post-merge! Im less against finalist Beth, but her character's plotlines aren't compelling to me at all this season :/

Lindsay on the other hand has a full character arc this season of coming into her own and trying her hand at leadership, has a rivalry with Courtney, and she still keeps her character throughout! And honestly i just think Harold's an entertaining character and him making it further than Duncan for at least one season would've been great!

TDWT: As the season is written? I wouldn't change the finalists at all. Heather and Alejandro are the most important characters of the season outside of the Love Triangle and Cody + Sierra and if you want my opinion, none of them should've been finalists. Now, if you do rewrite the season, i'd say Courtney (or even Eva if you make her rejoin mid season) deserved at least to reach the final three. Don't have much to say here.

ROTI: JO. OMG JO. JO SHOULD'VE BEEN A FINALIST. Again, i've made a post about this earlier (which i CANNOT FIND. WHY) But Jo should've been a finalist! They didn't need to give Lightning a vilain arc in the last two episodes just because! Im not super against Cameron being a finalist, but i don't like Lightning being one. Granted you could argue for different characters making for good finalists if you're going to rewrite the entire season (Anne Maria maybe? Or Zoey)

TDAS: Oh boy, TDAS. Sweet, sweet TDAS. Listen. Listen. In an alternate universe where Total Drama is a good show, Mike and Zoey could be good finalists. Unfortunately for them there is a large, looming Courtney-shaped shadow over that idea, made even worse by how both Zoey and Mike were used throughout the season.

Yeah if you couldn't tell by now, Courtney 101% SHOULD have been a finalist! TDAS should've been her season! It's the only season where she makes it past Duncan! She's a strong competitor, a compeling character, she's been put through shit the entire series, hell she could have interesting interactions with all the cast members! But no, Sundae Muddy Sunday happened instead.

As for possible finalists? Lindsay. And Jo. Yeah look if they're not gonna be finalists in earlier seasons you may as well make them finalists here. You could still make an argument for Zoey if the season were rewritten, but otherwise yeah this is probably the worst season for canon finalists :(

TDPI: Honestly with the direction they took, im... fine, with Sky and Shawn being the finalists. They're relevant characters, they have the more important arcs and outside of Scarlett and Jasmine, some of the most competent characters, enough to get here.

I'll take this as an opportunity to say i haven't landed yet on finalists for my PI rewrite? I know for a fact i want Sammy to be one, but im unsure about the other. All i know is that i don't think it'll be Shawn or Sky.

TD2023 S1: Nothing wrong with Bowie and Priya as finalists i'll be real! Priya might be a bit predictable, but it opened up alot of avenues for different things to be explored within her character (that the show never took rip), and she honestly deserved to get far for this cast's first season. As for Bowie, he's pretty relevant all throughout the season and seeing a more antagonistic character make it to final two is really nice to see! No complaints!

TD2023 S2: ALL OF THE COMPLAINTS! ALL OF THEM! The final 3 kind of sucks this season because every option has at least one gapping flaw in it due to the writing over the season: Wayne is barely a character for half the season and only gets interesting moments before the finale, Caleb has the most dragged out and annoying romance subplot in all of TD (not just because it was boring and artificial but because it dragged down and arguably ruined one of the most interestin characters of it's cast) and Julia's just magically gotten amazing at everything, INCLUDING playing the game because these teenagers just keep! beliving her! and telling her things! for some reason! Urghhh

If i had to rewrite the season entirely i'd have an MK vs Raj final 2. You'd get the antag/vilain rep for a finalist position, and hopefully a more interesting character than Wayne (fuck you Raj's more interesting of the two by default.) Maybe Scary Girl could be a 3rd curveball option. Nichelle or Axel if they were given actual arcs. And characters. Whatever.

Sorry for ending this post on such a sour note! i just really don't like reboot season 2 everytime i think about anything outside of the Finale or Mkulia!

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today's rec list contains fics where either Louis or Harry is antisocial or untrusting. This is a shorter and more niche list, but we hope you enjoy it! If you want our rec lists to continue, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Once Upon A Dream | Explicit | 33,319 words | Sequel

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

2) Give Me Love | Explicit | 41,041 words

Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

3) Wild Hearts Run Free | Explicit | 42,979 words

Harry is an alpha who is harbouring a dark secret, one that has forced him into self-imposed isolation, far from civilization and far from temptation. Louis is an omega who has fought the predispositions of his secondary gender his whole life and suddenly finds himself cast aside by his beta partner, leaving him to question his place in the world. When fate and Mother Nature conspire to trap the two strangers together, will Harry’s worst fears be proven, or will Louis find a way to break down his walls and lead him into the light? Harry is an alpha who is harbouring a dark secret, one that has forced him into self-imposed isolation, far from civilization and far from temptation. Louis is an omega who has fought the predispositions of his secondary gender his whole life and suddenly finds himself cast aside by his beta partner, leaving him to question his place in the world. When fate and Mother Nature conspire to trap the two strangers together, will Harry’s worst fears be proven, or will Louis find a way to break down his walls and lead him into the light?

4) No Easy Choice, But You're Mine | Explicit | 45,603 words

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

5) One Heart Broke, Four Hands Bloody | Explicit | 47,249 words

Louis’ life is really fucking dull until one day he happens upon the scene of a crime, as said crime is happening. A murderer with big hands and a charming smile somehow manages to change his life for the better.

6) Yesterday Came Suddenly | Explicit | 48,504 words

The one where Harry, the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

7) Not Afraid Of Living On A Fault Line | Explicit | 55,218 words

His eyes widened when he realized he had just somehow managed to ask Harry to hang out. Judging by Harry’s own expression, he wasn't the only one who was shocked. Louis expected him to laugh off the ridiculous request but the beta looked up at him, almost hopefully. “Are you being serious?” “Um,” was all Louis could say, feeling every bit as speechless as Harry had been earlier. “Are you?” Harry shrugged. “I’ve been told I need to get out more.”

8) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124,766 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.” “Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.” “Wait, what?” Zayn asked. “Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,” “What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand. “I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.” “That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[yerrenica]

⋯ JAHA LEE x MONGRANG | killers at heart

⬦ info; mongjaha, panic attacks, ballroom dancing, pining, mongrang is a mess (also touch averse), no beta we die like byung gu, skytsui is mentioned (implied yerisky).

⬦ wc; 6.4k

The Jade Flower Palace's event planners have really outdone themselves this time, and Mongrang hates them for it. He's having the worst night he's had in weeks and it's all their fault.

In reality, it's not their fault at all. But the people who forced him into this were not here right now, so he had to get someone, anyone, to blame.

The Jade Flower Palace has a rule. Well, it has a lot of rules, but the one that is currently screwing him over is this: 

Jade Flower Palace Code of Conduct V. 4:

Section C, Article 4

For significant palace social events* with over 150 members of the general public - there must be at least two (2) Martial Masters present.

*See appendix [ii.x] for extended event criteria.

Unfortunately, the event that Mongrang is currently wasting away at meets all the said criteria… He checked. It's the day of the Dongzhi Festival, which means it's cold as fuck, dark as fuck, and everyone's stressed as fuck. He just wishes he was home, curled under a blanket by a dying fire, some lovely woman's hands rubbing soothing circles into his back. He sincerely hopes that the people who wrote the Code of Conduct trip into a ditch.

The palace's main ballroom has been made to resemble a frozen forest; done up in silvers and blues and glittering tinsel. The servants have done a spectacular job of it. Various crystal trees dot the space, carved from rare silver ore, and embedded with glittering gemstones. The centerpiece is a magnificent fir tree, carved completely from ice. It's almost tall enough to scrape the golden dome at the room's centre; the key word being: almost. Nothing can be tall enough to reach the cupola. That's another rule.

The lower ceiling is intended to emulate the night sky. The dark shimmery fabric has been draped from the upper balconies and crisscrosses the room, forming a perfect backdrop for the tens of thousands of twirling snowflakes. They don't melt, don't fall, only twinkle in place like baby stars, casting dappled light over the crowd.

It's truly a dazzling display.

Mongrang would like nothing more than to be able to fully immerse himself in the beauty of it all, but alas, the reality of his situation is far too damning.

Mongrang usually tries to make himself scarce for these events. He doesn't harbour a particular dislike for galas in general. But it was more of an issue with the attendees. From the moment he began avenging Byung Gu's death, an entire host of their nation's elite decided that he was the Jade Flower Palace's most eligible bachelor. They've been going out of their way ever since. Hoping to win his hand for their daughters.

And sure, while Mongrang loved to indulge in hedonism, these particular high-class women were not to his tastes. (He'd like to add that he means personality-wise.)

It's not that he doesn't understand their reasoning; He's young, physically attractive, influential, and wealthy. Marrying someone from within the Mong family would give any family a lot of influence.

Has he mentioned that he's by far the best choice out of the Mong family? Yeah. You'd have to be severely desperate to go after anyone else from his lineage. 

Now, just because Mongrang is the best choice, doesn't make him a good one. To be honest, the entire situation is a little sad. He's been introduced to hundreds of young women, and been wined and dined across all of the land. But he forgets their names, faces, and stories almost immediately; all blurring together into a mass of unrecognizable bodies.

Most of the women tend to swoon over him, in awe of his power, status, and other arbitrary nonsense. Some are a little scared, nervous that they'll fuck up and invoke the Jade Flower Palace's wrath. It doesn't really bother him. He, in theory, could reassure them that they'll be okay after his inevitable rejection, but he doesn't particularly care enough to ease their fears. 

Hey. If the entire family decides to sleep with pocket knives under their pillows for the rest of their lives, who is he to stop them? Not that that would make any difference in the grand scheme of things, anyway. Besides, if he were planning to put a hit on them, they'd already be dead.

Sometimes - people simply forget to use their brains.

Honestly, they truly needn't fret. He's not interested in any of that. He's got bigger things to think about. Like how he feels like he's carrying the entire world on his shoulders, how he's unprepared to be the next cult leader, and how the Mong family abhors him.

Mongrang is currently (trapped in) making polite conversation with a young lady. She's quite pretty, if not a little obnoxious. Her name is Skylar if he remembers correctly; the subordinate of some sect whose name continues to escape him. Skylar is clearly not interested in him, well, not in that way, anyway. From the moment they were forced into this social interaction, she’s been (not so) subtly stealing glances at one of the entertainers stationed at the Northern doors. 

Mongrang decides to put her out of her misery.

"I see that someone's caught your eye." He notes, voice only a touch above the steady playing of the orchestra. Her sect leader isn't nearby, probably engrossed in some conversation with another old man with avaricious hands and a giant stick up his ass. Mongrang nods his head in the direction of the entertainer. Skylar stiffens up, eyes widening.

Mongrang gives her a gentle smile. The kind he reserves for the civilians (especially the women (mostly the women)). The kind he practices in the mirror every day so he can come across as more than an empty shell of a person.

"Her name is Yerenica." He whispers. Tension drains from her shoulders. "She has one last performance left. Find her afterwards and ask her to dance." He suggests.

"But—"

"Don't worry about your sect leader."

He could easily have whatever sect leader she was under distracted for a couple hours. Slip a sleeping drug into his drink. Have an escort give him some extra attention. Lock him outside in the gardens. Hell, he could have his body dumped in a ditch somewhere if it'd make Skylar's life easier. 

"Mongrang, if I may ask." She pulls him from his scheming. Her eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, trying to find the right words.

He nods. "Yes?"

"Are you... like me?"

Oh.

He pauses. No one's ever asked him that before. 

He really doesn't know, and even if he did, he probably couldn't tell her. But his thoughtful silence seems to speak for him. Skylar smiles, like she knows something he doesn't. It's her first real smile of the night.

"You are kind." 

He doesn't say anything in parting, and she slips away into the crowd. He wishes to tell her that he is not, and will never be kind, but he is almost certain that she already knows.

He digs his nails into his palm repeatedly - a nervous tick that he has been trying to get rid of for years. Many of his siblings have told him that it's unbecoming.

He can't help but stifle a scowl at the thought. Perhaps he should return to the bar. After all, he's far too sober to be here right now.

He makes his way over, narrowly avoiding tripping over the most inconveniently placed decorative bush he's ever encountered. He's been acting far too clumsy tonight. He's about to order however many shots of alcohol from the east he can reasonably knock back in one go when a distinctive, shrill voice breaks his concentration.

"Mongrang!" His blood goes cold. He knows that voice. He hates that voice. "Would you care to join us at our table?"

This particular girl has been a resident thorn in his side for the past year. She's wearing an ugly olive green hanfu. It clashes horribly with her skin. It has far too many gems, frills, and ornaments. Mongrang thinks it makes her look like a toad. Why did she insist on always wearing that hideous shade?

Her name is Mi-Cha or Mi-Hi or Yoo-Mi or something along those lines. He knows, for a fact, it has a Mi in it, but that's about it. He would ask her again, but he doesn't really want to use any of his already limited brain power to remember it.

"Of course! It would be my pleasure." He says, forcing his face into a familiar false smile. Be nice Mongrang. Be gracious. Smile. Show teeth. They're all watching you.

They walk to the table. The girl hanging off his arm like a noose around his neck.

He really wouldn't be that upset about the invitation if it weren't for the fact that he hates these people. He honestly wouldn't mind sitting down for a bit, but this woman and her father have been harassing him for half a year. He should've known they'd be here.

The girl, Mi-Cha, is delusional. There is simply no other explanation. She thinks he's in love with her. Unable to see that his compliments are surface level, his smile is fake, and his politeness is obligatory. Her father is the same kind of delusional. Mongrang can't stand people like him. People who are drunk on money, power, and social status.

Everyone at the table is delighted to make the acquaintance of a member of the Mong family, and if he has to feign interest in another person's narcissistic business venture one more time, it might just kill him, or them, depending on how well he can keep himself in check. This is why, for the past two years, his eldest brother has been effectively banned from these gatherings. You kill one party guest and suddenly you're benched. Hey. Now that Mongrang thinks about it. His brother might be onto something.

Right now, Mongrang is in Purgatory, sandwiched between the desperate duo. The father is to his right, talking to some other old fool about embezzling taxpayer gold or whatever people do nowadays to make their millions.

Yoo-Mi, yeah, that's definitely her name, sits to his left. She's exceedingly boring. She has the personality of a paper bag and talks in a high-pitched monotone voice that somehow manages to both be incredibly quiet and exceptionally irritating. Mongrang has to strain to hear her over the music. It's quickly starting to lull him to sleep, and if he has to listen to another story about her entirely unremarkable time at a Western boarding school he's going to throw up.

Furthermore, she's a horrible person.

She is mean to servants, rude to the palace staff, and is genuinely a bitch to everyone she deems lower than herself. He had to bite his tongue as she happily rattled off a story about how one of her handmaidens had accidentally shattered her favourite mirror, so she had the poor woman beaten until she bled.

She spends an absurd amount of time talking openly about the plague of poor people. How they're "leeching off" the nation's resources, and using the money of respectable taxpayers to avoid getting jobs.

On top of it all, she's incredibly handsy. Right now, she's using his arm as a makeshift pillow, leaning closer by the minute. It makes him want to peel his skin off. A little-known fact about Mongrang is that he loathes being touched without permission. Growing up being treated the way he was in the Mong family made everything feel wrong. Every little bit of contact burned if he did not initiate it himself.

It's not like he can make his preference known. Oh, how people would talk if they knew the great Mongrang is touch averse.

Just deal with it, the night's almost over.

Mi-Hi tightens her grip on his arm, and he cannot help the gooseflesh that crawls up the limb. His stomach rolls. He needs better company and fast before he loses his shit and does something he might regret. His temper may not be as short as some of his other siblings, but he's not exactly known for being patient.

There has to be someone else here he knows. One of his servants? An old sparring partner? Or better yet, the second Martial Master that had to come with him for the event. There has to be another one of his siblings here. That's the rule.

It's not that Mongrang gets along particularly well with any of his other siblings. But they are excellent at repelling unwanted conversation partners. You'd have to be mad to approach a respectable Mong family member (except for him, apparently) in the first place, let alone two.

He prays it's not his eldest brother. Talking to him makes him want to pull his hair out. Honestly, listening to this wet napkin of a girl might actually be a better choice than chancing an encounter with–

"And then there was this one time when my dorm mate Cho-Hee told me the most extraordinary riddle…"

Never mind. 

He scans the room, looking for another signature robe. No one on the dance floor. No one at one of the centre tables. No one mingling with the crowd. Damn, whoever is here right now might just be doing a worse job socializing than him.

"So there's a man and a horse, or was it a horse and a man?" Gods, Mi-Young! What difference does it make? 

He digs his nails into his palm again, this time hard.

Turning his attention to the outskirts of the grand ballroom, he checks all of the best hiding spots. The corners, the ceiling, behind an ornamental plant, under the buffet table. Gods, he was starting to feel like a lunatic.

Unfortunately for Mongrang, no one appears to be anywhere. He racks his brain, trying to figure out where else someone could possibly be hiding.

...

No way. Was he left here all alone? He should've known his siblings would forsake him in such a manner. Thus, he groans, resigning to his fate of spending the rest of the night with Mi-Whoever.

He tilts his head up to the stained glass ceiling in prayer. Maybe the Gods will have mercy upon him? Smite him down from the heavens above?

After a second of wallowing in self-pity, he turns to look back at the people seated at the table with him, and oh... Then he sees it. Salvation. In the corner of his eye, on the third balcony. Raven-black hair (which he's always thought of as too soft-looking) tied with a red ribbon he'd recognize anywhere.

He narrows his eyes and focuses on the figure. Yes, that's definitely him leaning against the railing. He knows exactly who that is, and he's never felt more excited to see him.

"And then, Mongrang, this is the best bit: he had actually given his horse the name Friday. So that's actually the answer to the riddle—"

Everything is suddenly too loud and darkness is starting to creep into the edges of his vision, the girl's hands on him feel like ice, spiders crawl from beneath them and he needs to get them off. 

A server refills his wine glass for the third time in 15 minutes and he chugs it, shrugging Mi-Sun off in the process. But before the waitress can leave, he catches her sleeve. 

"Bring me two shots of the strongest shit you have." He whispers, hoping against hope that his face conveys his desperation.

"Ah, Mongrang, have I told you of the time that—" That agitating voice starts up again, and the rich girl wraps herself around him once more. He imagines taking a knife and— shit, this was getting really bad.

"Actually, make those doubles." He pleads. The servant nods, seemingly understanding his predicament, and hurries off to the bar. Five painful minutes and one elephant dart to the face of a story later, Mongrang's saviour returns with two shot glasses.

"190-proof." She whispers. And, heavens, he's never wanted to kiss a woman more.

He stands abruptly, shaking the girl off of him for a second time. Oops. Everyone at the table turns to look.

"Dearest apologies, this has been lovely. But I've got another obligation." He feigns dismay. 

“Oh, Mongrang, you will come back, won't you?” Calls one of the women. 

"I'll make every effort to." I will not.

He snatches the two glasses and quickly takes his leave, weaving through the sea of people to the grand staircase. His saviour still hasn't moved when he gets there. He's leaning against the railing, looking like he's contemplating throwing himself off.

"Country bumpkin!" He calls. 

The raven-haired man looks at him out of the corner of his eye. Mongrang stiffens just slightly. But quickly, a smug smile makes its way upon his face when he notes an entire empty bottle of wine on the floor next to the man. This might actually work.

Mongrang holds the shot glass at arm's length, willing the other man to take it. He does. Thank the Gods. 

"What's this?" Jaha asks dully, swirling the liquid around the cup. He narrows his eyes in distaste, looking between Mongrang and the glass as if they're both bugs and he's deciding which one to take a shoe to first.

"A peace offering." Mongrang shrugs.

"I guess you've finally started using your brain. " He smugly smirks, then sniffs the liquor and furrows his brows. "Shit dog, this is rubbing alcohol."

"Almost." Mongrang grins.

"Are you trying to poison me?"

"Wanna find out?" Mongrang raises his glass, and for all his posturing, Jaha does the same. They clink the shot glasses together before lifting them to their lips and knocking them back.

It's absolutely foul. Mongrang coughs and sputters, eyes threatening to bulge out of his sockets. He looks like he might puke. Though, he does hold it down. He threw a shot up once, way back in basic training, and never heard the end of it. He can't risk that again.

To his surprise, Jaha's countenance remains as nonchalant as ever. Mongrang wonders if during their time apart, Jaha lost his sense of taste, because surely no normal person would be able to down something as vile as this with such an expression on their face.

"Are you aware that people get thrown overboard for serving shit like this?" Jaha glances at Mongrang. Mongrang grins in turn, did Jaha just make a joke? "Also, I have to ask. What part of me standing alone in this corner implies that I wish to hold a conversation? Especially with the likes of you?" He just had to throw an insult in there, didn't he?

"A sense of kinship, perhaps." Mongrang gestures to the ball going on below them, specifically on the people in the crowds. "I hate these too."

The orchestra is on a break. Now, a vocal soloist has started a set. She's singing an aria, coloratura soprano voice ringing high and clear over the din of the party. Jaha seems to be enjoying it, though. Contrary to Mongrang, whose shoulders tense every time she goes above a G#.

"Maybe I don't hate these? I might be perfectly content right now." He huffs. "How did you even find me here?"

"Your hair." Mongrang smiles, as if proud of himself. Jaha makes a repulsed expression, then mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like "weirdo".

"I know you're having a shit time too, you're making that face you make when you absolutely abhor something."

"And what face is that?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"Your eyes get all hard. And then you draw your lips into a thin line. It looks like you're trying to vaporize everything and everyone in your line of sight." Mongrang describes, all the while his eyes trail over every contour of Jaha's face.

"That sounds like my usual expression."

"Well, to some. But it's different. I can tell."

"You sure pay a lot of attention to my face." Uh oh. Mongrang had not meant for the conversation to go in this direction.

"Why are you even here?" Mongrang attempts to change the subject, and wow, that did not come out right at all. He has no idea why he's tripping over his words like this in front of this country bumpkin. It's not like he's afraid of him.

Jaha seems to get what he means though, even if he furrowed his brows at Mongrang's harsh tone. He's almost never at these festivals. But It's not that he particularly dislikes them. On the contrary, he's quite fond of them. It's just that he simply has no time to attend them because everyone seems to constantly be up his ass about one thing or the other. Thus, his time is usually spent taking care of the working class and dealing with his enemies.

"I'm on a mission." He sighs, resigned. "My subordinates are here too. I'm here in case everything goes to shit."

Ah, that actually makes a lot of sense. From what Mongrang's amassed about the man is that he's always doing something. He can never just idly sit by and relax. There's always a reason for his actions. Still, though, Mongrang fails to understand just what could be so dangerous about a festival such as this?

"What about you?" Jaha unexpectedly asks, and Mongrang can't stop his face from brightening.

"Due to the palace's code of conduct. It's an obligation." Mongrang wistfully sighs. He'd truthfully rather be indulging in some wine with some pretty women.

Jaha hums in affirmation. Misery loves company. The soprano finishes her performance to the light applause of the audience. There's the scraping of chairs as the orchestra gets into place.

"You're making that face again." Mongrang says, which is a grave mistake because Jaha's expression breaks into a smirk.

"Honestly, shit dog, I'm more interested in why you've spent enough time studying my face to make that little observation." Shit. He's really dug himself into a hole here.

"I—'' Mongrang stutters, pink gathering on his cheeks. Later he'll blame the flush and the stuttering of his heart on the alcohol. Like he hasn't just been caught admitting he stares at this country bumpkin a bit more than is appropriate for their current relationship.

"Oh? Have I rendered the Great Mongrang: Lord Unable to Shut Up, speechless?" Mongrang rolls his eyes. "You can tell me. Don't be shy." Gods, is the other man usually this, for lack of a better term, flirty? He can't have been; Mongrang would've noticed. Although he supposed they never really talked much, or so he'd like to think. But somehow they always end up sharing a drink or two during every encounter.

Jaha smirks. Childish. Mongrang doesn't like how it makes his mouth go dry. Doesn't like that at all. He swallows thickly.

"You're um... well." He tries to think of a way to phrase his sentence in a way that won't dig an even bigger hole for him, but... "It'd be impossible not to stare at you." Fuck. That's arguably one of the worst things he could've said.

It's true though; Jaha is objectively handsome. Mongrang wishes he wasn't such a dick so that rich men and their daughters could fawn over him instead. He wishes he could bear at least some of the burdens of being known.

"Hmm?" Jaha croons. Mongrang can tell the other man is laughing at him. Because Jaha knows. He knows that Mongrang is watching every movement of his throat as he speaks, and tracing the contours of his jaw with his eyes. He probably thinks this is exceedingly funny, and Mongrang gets ready to be teased mercilessly for the rest of his miserable life and–

His salvation and damnation arrive in the same form: He hears them coming first. That soulless monotone, the clacking of high heels that she has no idea how to walk in, the sound of stupidity. You don’t always need to hear what somebody is saying to know it's idiotic.

Mongrang groans. "You've got to be kidding me." Walking up the stairs is the same girl he's avoiding, and this time, she has her father in tow. He pales. Mongrang tries his hardest to disappear into his robe, ignoring the static that threatens to creep into his vision.

"Shit dog?" A cold voice snaps him out of it. Oh. Mongrang forgot that he was having a conversation. Jaha glares at him, but his face is also laced with concern. Mongrang feels a twinge of guilt for dragging him into this.

"It's stupid. But you see them? 12 o'clock." He tilts his head in their direction. 

"The girl in the dress that makes her look like a toad and the old man?"

"Yeah. They've been on me for months. Won't take no for an answer. She's in love with me, convinced I'm her future husband."

Jaha bursts into laughter. "You're right. That is fucking stupid. Would've thought you'd have her in your bed by now."

Mongrang frowns. He may sleep around a lot, but even he has his limits.

The orchestra is back, the music picks up, and at the same time, he accidentally locks eyes with Satan herself. She waves and starts to tug her father in their direction.  Mongrang's eyes widen in horror.

"Shit. She saw me!"

"So?" Jaha is unimpressed. "What exactly is the problem here?"

"I don't want to be anywhere near her. She's the worst." Mongrang huffs, exasperated. 

"Tell her to fuck off then." Jaha says - like it's easy. He raises an eyebrow. "You're a member of the Mong family. Act like one."

"I've tried. But she's so dense, and she's always all over me, and I don't know what to say, and I just–" Mongrang's heart beats fast and he feels his breathing start to pick up. This is so embarrassing.  

He's so fucking itchy and he doesn't know why. He wants to tear his skin off. Or hers. Or someone's. He needs to do something. Would it be asking too much for the ground to open up, swallow him whole, and shroud him in its quiet darkness once and for all? If he asked nicely enough, would the abyss swallow him whole?

That would save a lot of people some grief.

"Fuck, shit dog, you're a mess. Does it really bother you this much?" Jaha asks. Mongrang realizes he's been frozen for a good ten seconds. The shorter one doesn't seem to be mocking him like usual. Right now, he sounds like he's underwater; he's so very far away, even though he's right there. This is stupid. Be a man, Mongrang. Just say fucking no. 

The girl and her father creep closer.

Mongrang nods. His hands are clenching and unclenching at his sides. Be kind. Be gracious. Be strong.

"I'm afraid I'll kill them." He admits. And Jaha's brows immediately crease. Ah. Now Mongrang understands why Jaha's here.

"Mongrang!" Great. In the time it's taken for Mongrang to pull himself together: Thing One and Thing Two have made their way across the balcony and are now even closer than before.

"Dear God, they're bold." Grumbles Jaha. And with the way Jaha turns, it almost seems as if he's about to leave and throw Mongrang to the wolves.

Mongrang is about to open his mouth and say something, anything, to make the other stick around for a while longer. Maybe he should start a fight with him—

But before he gets the chance, Jaha turns to Mongrang, and in the corner of his eye, he can see the toad and her father halt their movements.

"Mongrang, may I have this dance?" Jaha asks, voice like honey. He holds his hand out expectantly. His eyes betray him, though. Get me out of here. Mongrang instinctively reaches to take it, and Jaha grabs his wrist and tugs him away.  

"This is torture. You owe me in blood for this." He grumbles, before interlacing their fingers properly and leading them down the grand staircase, uncaring of the hundreds of eyes locked on them. Mongrang is pretty sure he sees one of the guards stationed at the entrance do a double take.

Truthfully, even Mongrang is stunned. He's so stunned that he has not yet spoken a word to Jaha. But how could he?

The crowd parts like a sea, erupting in a chorus of whispers as the two men take to the dance floor. Everyone tries to pretend like they're not watching, but they are. He can hardly believe it himself. He's not quite sure this is real life. Out of the corner of his eye, he spies Skylar speaking with Yerenica, who is still in her performance attire. He catches Skylar's gaze, and she smiles. She looks from him to Jaha, and back to him again. She nods.

"Well?" Jaha's icy voice snaps him from his stupor. "Are you planning to lead or must I do all the work?" Right, they're dancing, apparently, how could Mongrang forget when Jaha's struggling abysmally with moving his feet in time with Mongrang's?

"Oh, were we actually going to dance?" He asks, slightly nervous.

"If we weren't, I wouldn't have asked. You should know that I don't commit to things halfway." He glares, it doesn't really have any bite behind it. Mongrang stares blankly.

"But you really suck at this, so I didn't think you..." Mongrang cuts himself off. The country bumpkin had just saved him; he better not mess this up. After all, even he could appreciate help. Thus, he sighed.

"I'll tell you what to do. Just keep up." He quickly plasters on his signature smirk, which earns him a glare. "Keep one of your hands holding mine like this."

But even as he says this, he hesitates for a moment. Reminds himself to breathe. It'll be okay. He then places his palm against Jaha's, lightly. He waits for the inevitable lurch in his stomach, the feeling of maggots crawling under his skin from the touch. But it never happens. He feels fine. In fact, there's a pleasant warmth where their hands meet. That same warmth spreads through his arm and settles in between his ribs.

Mongrang stuns for just a moment, but the way Jaha is focusing on his instructions makes him smile, and he can feel himself relaxing.

Jaha hums, and asks. "You're supposed to put your hand on my waist, right?" Mongrang blanches. Jaha is unimpressed.

"Shit dog, you're an adult. Don't be a baby and grab my fucking waist."

This makes Mongrang relent and place a hand at his waist, pulling Jaha closer to him. He doesn't miss how the other man's eyes widen just a bit, how his breath hitches at the contact. Jaha is stiff and awkward as Mongrang guides him through the steps. Around them, couples dance without a care in the world. In a room full of people, they each have a moment to themselves, carving out their own slice of paradise. But even still, Mongrang can't help but eye their surroundings, looking for the toad.

"Relax." His dance partner breathes in his ear, tone irked. "You're far away from her already."

His words go straight to Mongrang's gut, and he complies. Jaha is right, after all.

Mongrang leads them through the waltz, whispering instructions over the orchestra. Gradually, they begin chatting, easing into the dance. It felt oddly effortless to dance with Jaha. And at some point, Mongrang realizes he's no longer listening to his words. Instead, he's hyper-fixated on the rasp of his voice. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Mongrang's been caught. He smiles sheepishly and shakes his head.

"You're insufferable." Jaha looks at him with an aloof frown. "You never answered my question, you know. How can you distinguish my pissed-off face from my regular one?"

"It's simple, really." Mongrang chuckles. "You make the pissed-off one at me all the time."

Jaha blinks for a moment before a small smile makes its way to his face. "Can't argue with that."

"Hey, country bumpkin? Can I ask you a question?"

"Clearly, you're already doing so." His dance partner frowns. "But go ahead if you must."

"Why did you help me back there?"

"I don't know, I just felt like it." He answers too quickly to be sincere.

"That's not true. If I had tried to attack them, you would've loved fighting me. So why did you keep me in check?" Mongrang quickly added. "And don't try to bullshit me by mentioning something about my ice arts."

"If I tell you the real reason, will you get off my ass?" He says, exasperated.

"Yes." Mongrang says immediately.

"You're not going to like it." He pauses, hoping that Mongrang will back out, but if anything, it seems to make him more eager.

"To be honest." He starts. The music swells. "I saw an expression on you that I'd never seen before." Mongrang is confused now. What is he talking about? "For a moment there… you looked afraid."

Mongrang tenses. At this rate, his heart is going to leap from his chest and roll across the floor. 

Would Jaha pick it up? 

It'd be better not to think of that right now.

"Country bumpkin, are you admitting that you study my face too?" He grins, regaining his composure. Jaha stomps on his foot.

The dance ends and the alcohol must be getting to Mongrang's head because before they part completely, he brings Jaha's hand to his lips and kisses it gingerly. He's kissed the back of so many hands before, but this is the first time he's done it out of genuine desire. Mongrang doesn't miss the flush across Jaha's neck and ears, and an emotion that Mongrang barely recognizes flashes across the other's face. It takes him a moment to realize that the country bumpkin is embarrassed.

"You—" He starts to say, but Mongrang sees a flash of brown hair and a ghastly green dress. His heart drops.

"Seriously?!" He whisper-yells. Jaha's gaze follows his eyes to the form of the woman near the edge of the dancefloor.

"Ignore her. She's not even looking over here." Jaha urges. "Focus on me." Mongrang obliges. His eyes really are stunning. "Okay?"

"Alright." Mongrang sighs. How can he say no to him? "Are you sure you can't scare her off?" Mongrang looks at him, almost pleadingly. Jaha laughs at this.

"Oh? Do you think I'm scary, shit dog?" He smiles. It's brilliant. And all of a sudden, it's just the two of them again. Souls twirling, twirling, twirling under the glittery ceiling.

"Terrifying." Mongrang plays along with a smile. "You frighten me more than anyone else I've ever met." The words tumble out, soft, genuine. And if only Jaha knew just how dangerous Mongrang finds him to his heart.

Jaha looks at him fondly, like he's the stupidest person he's ever met.

"Want to get out of here?" He asks. Mongrang nods. Jaha starts to move, and Mongrang is afraid that he'll let go. Please don't let go. But Jaha simply grips his hand tighter and drags him away from the dancefloor.

--

Now it's just the two of them.

The two men stare at each other for a moment. There's a pregnant pause, and Mongrang is pretty sure neither of them breathes.

Mongrang doesn't know why he does it. Perhaps it was the absurd amount of red wine he'd polished off over the course of the night, staining his lips blood-red. Or was it the two shots of glorified lighter fluid he poured down his throat? 

Could it have been the way that Jaha's hair seemed to glow in the silvery moonlight as they waltzed? People had stared; spoken about them in poorly concealed whispers; judgement heavy on their tongues. They danced in spite of it all.

Maybe it's the way that Jaha looked at him, and only him with those big clear eyes, in a way that made Mongrang want to claw them out -if only to keep them forever.

Gods. The man is beautiful. Mongrang knows this now and mentally chastises himself for not noticing it sooner. For never truly taking a moment to just look at him.

Something warm and pleasant settles in Mongrang's stomach. It heats like liquor, but it doesn't burn. Whatever it is claws its way up to Mongrang's chest and settles comfortably between his ribs. He's coming to the startling realization that it's not only the alcohol that has him intoxicated.

Mongrang still can't get over the way his skin buzzed as they interlaced their fingers and twirled away from the covetous man, and his imprudent daughter, and all of their respective responsibilities. He can't get over the way he felt when their hands touched. There was no urge to tear off his skin, to retire to the bathrooms and scrub himself raw. That was new. All of this is so new.

Mongrang doesn't know why he does it. All he knows is that he makes a decision he can't take back. 

He steps forward and lightly presses Jaha into the smooth stone wall, and Jaha looks at him with those ridiculously pretty eyes. The ones that held the stars themselves. His lips are parted in shock, and Mongrang thinks they look exceedingly soft and–

You know what? Fuck it.

Mongrang leans down and captures the shorter man's lips, guiding them into a tentative kiss. Jaha freezes, and goes completely rigid, hands flying up to press against Mongrang's chest. 

Mongrang makes to pull back. Worries that he might have gone too far. Gotten too greedy and ruined what has objectively been the best since who knows how long ago.

And there's that static again, threatening to drown out his thoughts. I am no better than that girl.

But then.

Then.

Jaha's fingers catch in his shirt, and he kisses him back. 

"Don't say I never did anything for you, shit dog."

Mongrang's heart soars, and he can't help the relieved laugh that escapes from his lips, right into Jaha's mouth.

The kiss quickly turns bruising. There's fury in the way their lips move together. They fight each other, even in this. Grabbing at each other's clothes and dragging their war-torn hands over every tiny bit of exposed skin. There is violence in everything they do.

Because what are they if not killers at heart?

© yeri (@yerrenica) ⬦ do not repost, copy, translate, nothing. lawd help me. possible part two coming.... smuut.... the only thing I'm apparently good at.

[nintendoni-art]

So the Night Terrors.

Since by the time of this circulating around there's gonna be at least 2 of these guys in tournaments, with one of them being in one already, it felt about the time a post should be made about each of them with a bit of info attached. As a group, the lot of them are from a Sonic Chronicles AU-ish timeline where the Nocturnes didn't get pulled into the Cage, and the Knuckles Clan successfully got the Master and Chaos Emeralds, causing both groups to eventually fizzle out into a centuries long cold war, and causing untold damage to the environment as they gathered up resources. [And then it rolls into the OTHER AU I've been working on...] Fair warning, this is gonna be long under the cut, so heads up! [Also, a quick thank you to @galactirabbit for all the art I'm using!]

Tabi - Currently in @sonic-oc-showdown 2!

The leader of this motley crew of ragamuffins, Tabi is a fearsome little critter who's brain is just as terrifying as their brawn. Though most of their deeds are more legend than fact, their ability to keep those under their watch safe out of the hands of those who may want to exploit the abilities of their species [or worse, used to recharge and power devices with the chaos energy they're made out of] is second to none. Originally a healer to a group of mercenaries who got dumped in a forest after a terrible injury, their views on Mobians are dim at best, to outright despising them on their worst days. Still, they refuse to confront them directly, instead robbing them blind and using said resources to keep their actions hidden as much as possible from prying eyes, keeping anything they find "interesting" to themselves. Also after another incident, they have a bit of a complex when it comes to "helping" other species they come across by bullying them until they lash out, mostly to make sure they're tough enough to survive if something bigger attacks them. They'll also swear up and down they're in the right about it, which has caused some...issues. Serious, driven, is just ...so very, very tired.

Trackball

When the village they were raised in was evacuated, and everyone except the old, infirm, and "pets" were left behind in order to slow down an advancing army, Trackball refused to back down when Tabi came to scavenge what they could find for themselves. After a battle that lasted until sunup, they ended up gaining Tabi's respect, friendship, and services in protecting those who were left. After the last of the Mobians who lived in said village passed away peacefully, Trackball pledged the rest of their life to Tabi's service, and to follow them wherever they, or "the demon in their employ" would go. Granted, this action and Trackball's wording slightly weirded Tabi out a bit, but as the Night Terrors grew, Trackball eventually became second in command, and the defacto leader if Tabi isn't around. Always the first one awake, they're usually found double checking heist plans, arranging scouting and salvage teams, and making sure things run like clockwork behind the scenes. Quick thinking, dependable, Is far more adept than what they think they are.

Shortfuse

As the environment was collapsing around them, some factions tried to replicate species that were dying out, to...mixed results.

Shortfuse here is one of those said artificial lifeforms, and the only one out of all in the project that made them that ended up anything close to stable. Alas, the rest of their fellow A-Life constructs proceeded to go feral and tear apart the scientists that made them, so that left Shortfuse alone. All who loved and wanted them, dead. Cast to the Wilds with no defense, or support. You know, besides the warp powers. And the immunity to any and all toxins and poisons. And the sheer amount of explosive devices they could just summon at a moment's notice. Honestly, most of the Night Terrors don't even remember when Shortfuse showed up. When other members pointed that fact out, Tabi just said they are a chao, they think Shortfuse is cool enough to stay and if anyone had an issue with it, they could take it up with them, and that stopped most questions. Shortfuse generally has their trademark smile plastered on their face, and aside for a few giggles with different tones, is pretty much mute, which, crossed with their generally silent movement can badly startle those unused to that. It's also sometimes hard to tell if they're paying attention, and the fact they can use their stomach as extra storage space has left some a bit disquieted at their actions. Still, they're an integral part of the heads of this gang, if not with their explosives expertise, then with their ability to quickly write down and organize records, and making medicines and helpful compounds by breaking down what components something is made out of by....licking it. Ok, so they're a little off. And they're well aware of this. But the Night Terrors, despite their eccentricities, accept Shortfuse as their own, construct or not, and are more than willing to be patient with them. And that's something Shortfuse will absolutely fight for, no matter what.

Eccentric, a lover of the arts, a bit of a sad clown some days.

Rime

Driven by rumors of a treasure guarded by a fearsome monster that lived deep within the aqueducts of a fallen city, when the Night Terrors went to check out these claims, Rime was the only living thing there. Mutated to twice the size of a regular chao, with a cast iron stomach, keen sense of smell, Rime was also more adept to living in more aquatic climates, fresh water be damned. With the rest of their pack not evolving fast enough to survive said toxins, the joy of finding others of their own species was enough to follow the rest of the Night Terrors anywhere, really. Though they may play up their size and ferocity, and they'll keep quiet to seem like a brick wall both physically and mentally, Rime's a tenderhearted creature who gets lonely easily, and can get a bit awkward when they want to interact with others, easily getting flustered and getting self conscious about being a big fish in such a small pond for so long. They're in charge of training regiments, aquatic scout work and underwater salvage. They're also super picky when it comes to food, and uses their sense of smell to help prevent spoilage from overtaking food storages, and knowing the best time to covert fruits into seeds. Stoic, hardworking, really just wants a hug most days.

Slight -

Currently applied to @chao-race-tournament !

Forced to flee for their life after their more aristocratic family fell out of favor with those more in charge, Slight was basically left to fend for themselves on the street with only their security blanket. Still, their drive to survive, and their ability to talk themselves out of [or into] most situations, Slight managed to rule the streets of the city their owners used to run until one too many lies caught up to them and Tabi decided to see exactly who'd been saying they beat them in a fight. Still, Tabi couldn't help but be intrigued by this upstart who had the sheer audacity, and after securing Slight's territory firmly under their rule, allowed them to stick around, allowing them to work their way up into the organization. Currently, they're team treasurer and keeper of all the warehouse keys. That being said, they aren't the most moral chao, and don't quite have the same qualms the others may have with selling, say, chao eggs they "found." Wicked cultured, mildly neurotic, will sell you for one corn chip.

Zori - Previously in @sonic-oc-showdown, out in round 3!

Zori is the most....unique, of the Night Terrors, and possibly the second oldest member of it all. They don't really deal much with the day to day minutia of running a crime syndicate, generally preferring to patrol any gardens under the groups protection, testing out defense systems, or digging up neat ore or rocks Tabi might like. More of a mascot, despite their attempts to seem more ferocious, they also take care and do upkeep of any bases the Night Terrors are operating from unless their expertise in umbrakinesis or electromagnetic manipulation is needed. Deeply curious, loyal to a fault, great with younger team members.

Jika

An unofficial leader of the Night Terrors, Jika was a wanderer and a scholar, and did their best to keep ancient traditions and rituals alive, using their travels in gather and write down stories and histories before they were gone forever. Seeing how the world was slowly but surely driving itself to entropy, however, they started working on plans in order to try and save the rest of their species, working with Tabi, who'd by that point, they'd known for ages, and who Tabi saw as their closest confidant. Yet... Before they could see their plan to save the rest of their species to it's completion, the actions taken drew the ire of a raptor hawk using falconer. Frankly, they had to choose between fleeing with the chao that were starting to scatter despite everyone's best efforts, or drawing it away from keeping Tabi cornered, and hoping that what they wrote down was enough for the rest of them to keep going. ... It was, but you know how it is with choices. Sometimes even with the best of intentions, ones sacrifice can cause such consequences. Trickster, academic, The most doomed by the narrative

[simlit]

All odd numbers for Kyrie!😁

What memory would your OC rather just forget?

I think he'd wish he could forget that he was given to the church as a baby. Not necessarily because he wants to reunite or even know his birth parents, he doesn't. But it's a constant reminder that he, quite literally, doesn't belong there. That he was given away as if he was a tool or some material good. It's just a lot to carry around with you.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Fear of failure. Something that has only recently made itself evident to him (and me lol). In a way, he's a people pleaser. He doesn't want to disappoint those around him. He fears the ripple of consequences that might stem from his domino falling first, and doesn't want to be the person responsible for a larger collapse, so he sort of keeps to his duty as a cog, despite how he might not align with the objective.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

I would say... not very. He's lazy, certainly, but he's also sheltered, incredibly inexperienced, and lacks the means to get what he wants through pure brute strength, power or smarts. That being said, if the obstacle is something he can overcome, I think he'd be more inclined to actually try.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

I made Kyrie almost as a blank slate so that I could easily adapt him to the circumstances of the story. Because CotS is both interactive and filled with characters I didn't create, he had to be someone who could blend well with all types of people, and not have many "hardstops" so to speak, morally or otherwise. But along the way I've tried to make someone who is an "open template" entertaining, and I think Kyrie's almost lackadaisical unbothered humor emerged from all of ~that~. I didn't go in planning him to be such a huge fucking troll, but I'm glad he has his "thing". In a story with so many strong personalities, it would have been easy to get overtaken by the other cast members.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

"That's abominable." Because it's just so damn funny.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Yes, he has one, and no he doesn't use it. And it's been called into question multiple times in the story, and I still don't think a damn one of them knows the actual truth yet lmao. It's funnier that way. It wouldn't save him from getting murdered, obviously. It would probably just get him murdered faster.

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Absolutely. If he wasn't so hot. Because honestly every time I look at him I just want to punch him in the face so 100% the conversation would go no where and I'd get arrested.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

No he doesn't.

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

I kind of... took his sister. Mean Jade go grr. I have this terrible habit of killing off loving sisters. I leave the bad ones though. Elsera says hi.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

He's one of those awful people who just gets stoic and civil when angry. As Tay said while having the absolute pleasure of being on the other end of it: that's probably worse. He's not been confronted with a situation that would make him exceptionally angry though, i.e. nothing life or death, so maybe that would change.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

He doesn't.

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

I think it would be loss. Which I guess is a generic answer, since it's pretty typical of human nature not to handle loss well. But I think when you have so very little in your life that is truly meaningful, then you're grasping at straws and have nothing to distract you from your grief. I think in the story currently, he's in a constant state of bracing. Trying to remain outwardly hopeful even though his body is already starting to reject the premise that things will turn out well, and that putting so much mental strength into denying it, degrades his focus in other facets of his life. Outside of the few moments where he's truly and genuinely amused, I do feel he's starting to lose himself under the pressure he would have, otherwise, been able to stand against without hesitation. I can't really imagine him in a place where he has to accept that loss is real, and I don't know how or if he can cope with it when it does.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

I love what a huge fuckin TROLL he is. Sorry, it's so entertaining to me. It's one of my main reasons for preferring him with ~certain~ members of the cast. Mostly the ones who are ripe for riling up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[watchfuldeer]

thoughts on NB

succ twt is clearly in the process of eating itself in cycles of outrage and resentment, and this will be hastened by the looming nicholas braun quote tweet free for all as soon as the official succession twitter posts his poster for HBO’s for your consideration emmy campaign. it has been well over two months and not a single news outlet - not even the new york post, who reported on alien sightings at the coronation - has said anything, at all, about any of it. nobody’s lawyers are that good, not even HBO’s, and especially not in a country with libel and slander laws as lax as the US. it would therefore seem that old and completely unsourced anonymous gossip from reddit and one first hand account of nicholas being on occasion weird, annoying and unpleasant to deal with as a sexual partner over the course of a two year relationship do not constitute news in the public interest. and nor fucking should they.

this is of course no deterrent to the contingent of succession fans who have made it their business to spread speculation and outright misinformation as fact, about a man who seems to be, at worst by my reckoning, the kind of dickhead that is so commonplace among millennial men of a certain age and locale as to be rendered irrelevant. former child actor and disney channel star who was still getting believably cast as a high-schooler at 27 in arrested development scandal, fork found in fucking kitchen. everything this core contingent says reveals them as both hypocritical and hopelessly naive, with a deep-seated need to manufacture discourse consensus by shaming and ostracising anyone who thinks differently.

they are purveyors of selective outrage, that only extends to this one man, and none of the other, more precious cast members who are nonetheless clearly still friends with him. it is easier to perpetuate parasocial hypocrisy than to challenge the overstated harms that have become the only acceptable currency of performing public outrage against nicholas braun. all done in the name of some imprecise greater good, and mostly articulated with a desire for retributive justice.

this would be bad enough, but in addition it has been subject to the usual insular fandom controversy bullshit and straight up conspiracy. all the usual suspects come out to quote tweet, bully, and dogpile and do whatever they can to be the most visibly above reproach in the fandom scandal du jour, because how else can they rationalise still watching a show that features a man who, in recent years, is rumoured to have slept with women as short as 5’4”, and been poorly behaved via dms. just wait until you find out what the rest of them have done. god forbid.

nobody needs to agree with me on any of this, because our experiences in life are not universal. it doesn’t even really matter what i think. this is just my opinion on something that i have spent far too long thinking about at a time when i would rather have been thinking about literally anything else.

[warningsine]

PARIS (AP) — Voters across mainland France have been casting ballots Sunday in the first round of an exceptional parliamentary election that could put France’s government in the hands of nationalist, far-right parties for the first time since the Nazi era.

The outcome of the two-round election, which will wrap up July 7, could impact European financial markets, Western support for Ukraine, and how France’s nuclear arsenal and global military force are managed.

Many French voters are frustrated about inflation and economic concerns, as well as President Emmanuel Macron’s leadership, which they see as arrogant and out-of-touch with their lives. Marine Le Pen’s anti-immigration National Rally party has tapped and fueled that discontent, notably via online platforms like TikTok, and dominated all preelection opinion polls.

A new coalition on the left, the New Popular Front, is also posing a challenge to the pro-business Macron and his centrist alliance Together for the Republic.

There are 49.5 million registered voters who will choose 577 members of the National Assembly, France’s influential lower house of parliament, during the two-round voting.

Marine Le Pen, leader of France’s resurgent National Rally, cast her ballot in her party’s stronghold in northern France on Sunday.

Turnout at midday at the first round stood at 25.9 % according to interior ministry figures, which is higher from the 2022 legislative elections at this time of the day. It was 18.43% at midday two years ago.

After a blitz campaign marred by rising hate speech, voting began early in France’s overseas territories, and polling stations opened in mainland France at 8 a.m. (0600 GMT) Sunday. The first polling projections are expected at 8 p.m. (1800 GMT), when the final polling stations close, and early official results are expected later Sunday night.

The voting is taking place during the traditional first week of summer vacation in the country, and absentee ballot requests were at least five times higher than in the 2022 elections, according to figures from the interior ministry.

Voters who turned out in person at a Paris polling station on Sunday had issues from immigration to inflation and the rising cost of living on their minds as the country has grown more divided between the far right and far left blocs with a deeply unpopular and weakened president in the political center.

“People don’t like what has been happening,” said Cynthia Justine, a 44-year-old voter in Paris. “People feel they’ve lost a lot in recent years. People are angry. I am angry.”

She added that with “the rising hate speech,” it was necessary for people to express their frustrations with those holding and seeking power and cast their ballots.

“It is important for me because I am a woman and we haven’t always had the right to vote,” Justin said. “Because I am a Black woman, it’s even more important. A lot is at stake on this day.”

Pierre Leclaer, a 78-year-old retiree, said he cast his ballot for the simple reason of “trying to avoid the worst,” which for him is “a government that is from the far right, populist, not liberal and not very Republican.”

Macron called the early election after his party was trounced in the European Parliament election earlier in June by the National Rally, which has historic ties to racism and antisemitism and is hostile toward France’s Muslim community. It was an audacious gamble that French voters who were complacent about the European Union election would be jolted into turning out for moderate forces in a national election to keep the far right out of power.

Instead, preelection polls suggest that the National Rally is gaining support and has a chance at winning a parliamentary majority. In that scenario, Macron would be expected to name 28-year-old National Rally President Jordan Bardella as prime minister in an awkward power-sharing system known as “cohabitation.”

In the restive French Pacific territory of New Caledonia, polls already closed at 5 p.m. local time due to an 8 p.m.-to-6 a.m. curfew that authorities on the archipelago have extended until July 8.

Nine people died during a two-week-long unrest in New Caledonia, where the Indigenous Kanak people have long sought to break free from France, which first took the Pacific territory in 1853. Violence flared on May 13 in response to attempts by Macron’s government to amend the French Constitution and change voting lists in New Caledonia, which Kanaks feared would further marginalize them.

Voters in France’s other overseas territories from Saint-Pierre-et-Miquelon, Saint-Barthélemy, Saint-Martin, Guadeloupe, Martinique, Guyana, French Polynesia and those voting in offices opened by embassies and consular posts across the Americas cast their ballots on Saturday.

While Macron has said he won’t step down before his presidential term expires in 2027, cohabitation would weaken him at home and on the world stage.

The results of the first round will give a picture of overall voter sentiment, but not necessarily of the overall makeup of the next National Assembly. Predictions are extremely difficult because of the complicated voting system, and because parties will work between the two rounds to make alliances in some constituencies or pull out of others.

In the past such tactical maneuvers helped keep far-right candidates from power. But now support for Le Pen’s party has spread deep and wide.

Bardella, who has no governing experience, says he would use the powers of prime minister to stop Macron from continuing to supply long-range weapons to Ukraine for the war with Russia. His party has historical ties to Russia.

The party has also questioned the right to citizenship for people born in France, and wants to curtail the rights of French citizens with dual nationality. Critics say this undermines fundamental human rights and is a threat to France’s democratic ideals.

Meanwhile, huge public spending promises by the National Rally and especially the left-wing coalition have shaken markets and ignited worries about France’s heavy debt, already criticized by EU watchdogs.

[gamerwoman3d]

If Tony was Bi Han he would have said so, iirc he was one of the first people to announce that he was a face model. I see no reason why he would hide.

Ibere is the best possibility I've seen so far, I wouldn't be surprised he's spooked by all the Bi Han thirst.

For the most part, the "Actor spooked by Bi-Han Thirst" bit was a joke on my part. Most of the time, the face models know what to expect if they google "[my character name] rule 34."

I see no real reason why Nakamura would deny being the character and no real reason why WB/NRS would not kredit him. That man is gorgeous. He's probably been handling nerd thirst since grade school.

I would think that claiming credit for Bi-Han (or any character that the internet is thirsty for) would only net him a higher paycheck. For a man who is so beautiful that companies literally hire him for his beauty, internet thirst and horny on main blogging are probably a nuisance at worst. I hope it is the least of his worries.

And I agree that Tony Chung would have said so. He has no reason not do so. Like, "Humblebrag but I am BOTH of these gorgeous motherfukkas." It isn't like he needed to hide his involvement in the game in any way - he already took credit for Scorpion.

Again, I believe the model is someone that is named in the kredits. WB has enough trouble with the actors'/trade unions right now without doing something so egregious as outright failure to credit a cast member. On the other hand, they can get away with a partial failure. If the actor's name is listed in the credits, but the credit given was for some smaller thing (Example: Additional Voices) it is harder to penalize them for that.

Because they can argue that he was in the credits, with no breech of contract.

Also, Stephen currently has bigger fish to fry, it seems. He wants to get in to the MCU as Martin Li in live action.

Claiming he was Sub-Zero's face model might help towards that goal, but more likely would hinder it. I trust him to know what's gonna help his career most. Disney / MCU wants their actors' net/film history to be squeaky clean, even for their villains. Mortal Kombat is particularly gory in its violence in a way that Spiderman is not. And let's face it, Sub-Zero is the fatality dummy. All of the worst shock-value moments are practiced on Sub-Zero first. You know the ones.

It might not be something Disney wants associated with Spider-Man.

Stephen also openly admitted that there is some legal issues that need to be addressed between videogame actors in Sag-Aftra, Sag-Aftra itself, and game developers. So there's no telling how much cooperation he gets from SAG if he does take an action toward getting himself and the other models properly credited.

I'm just saying he's one of the only people who might have logical reasons for not promoting his work on Mortal Kombat.

I can still be wrong. It's just my best guess.

[serendertothesquad]

I can finally go off about the Odd Squad Season 3 pitch bible (AKA happy 9th anniversary to this big lil' franchise)

I had originally wanted to do a little analysis video on this thing, and maybe I will someday, but for now here's a text version of that video.

I have not found the overall series bible -- and oh you better believe me when I say I've tried, and oh you better believe me when I say I have found shit -- but if I die before it's unearthed, then it will be, perhaps, the greatest failure in my pseudo-career as Odd Squad fandom leader. We've had cast members reveal pink drafts of scripts, we've found deleted scenes in some episodes...I just wanna see the big old pitch bible for the entire show. (Why didn't Sinking Ship Entertainment give me that when they sent me a fan package in exchange for me not promoting watching the show via VPNs? The fan package was nice but if I got a copy of a nice thick happy show bible I think it'd cure my depression!)

"But Seren, you managed to get PBS's Metadata Bank wiped from public view of everyone on the Internet who isn't a PBS employee, won't the same thing happen aga-" Shhh. Shhhhhhh. The answer is no. Absolutely not. Not on your life. Worst-case scenario is that a Season 4 bible is decided to be kept locked in a vault that's tighter than anything Disney could ever craft.

Can we move on now? Right, cool. Then let's go.

Y'know, it's sad that they continue to uphold that Season 1 and Season 2 were set in Nondescript Town, Nondescript State despite any and all evidence pointing to both being set in Toronto. I don't care if it makes it seem more local to kids. Some kids don't really have a giant-ass replica of their town's name sitting in their town's main square.

"But it's in the backgro-" Shhhhh. We're talking about the demographic that weaponizes brutal honesty better than John Wick weaponizes his own two fists. Shhhhhh. I'm willing to bet some kid has noticed that sign.

Tim McKeon and Adam Peltzman had the balls to put in a merch pitch that would have made Hasbro execs slam their hands on the table and then immediately go in for the deal-closing handshake.

No but seriously, they could have made bank on selling miniature vans. Osmerelda had a mini-van toy of her own in "Monumental Oddness", even! Odd Squad's already just slightly toyetic, one more injection won't hu- wait, the chance has passed now. Well, fuck. Never mind.

But ohhhh no, that's not even the most egregious part. The most egregious part is the fact that they called Creature Room employees...ah..."creature wranglers". Quite obviously, we know that's not all they do...I mean look at Ocean, as one example.

...Okay that's not so egregious.

Also, I, uh...well...they're not so much "roles" so much as they are "departments". You don't really go into a job interview at the local Target saying you'd like to apply for the role of part-time cashier like it's a school play and you really wanna strut your stuff. Odd Squad is a workplace. It has always been a workplace. Let's stick to the roots.

And while you guys do that, let's move on to the characters! This is one of the things I most want to see from an Odd Squad show bible, because if PBS can hike up their belts and declare Oprah to be physically seven years old right on the Wild Wild Internet, for all we know Olive could have been named Olivia somewhere in pre-production and they wanted to make her a hell of a lot more fucked-up than she turned out to be.

You know what's also sad? The fact that no one has the balls to admit that Odd Squad has precincts and it's not just smaller offices also named Odd Squad under a Big Office that's probably named, oh no you better not guess it, Odd Squad.

Let's be honest here, Opal is by far and away the most "we erased only the small smudges but she's otherwise polished" character in here. Everyone else has characterization that differs wildly from the final products. Opal...not so much. Pretty much everything said about her here is right on the money.

Except for, uh...that third paragraph. Let me word-vomit about that.

It does not matter how hard the franchise will try and make you believe Opal is not the leader. The fact of the matter is, she is the leader, de facto, and as such, she takes charge in all kinds of situations. However, that doesn't necessarily mean she's not keen on passing the buck to her teammates, as she's done it before (see, blugh, "Odd Squad in the Shadows") and she's more than willing to do it if she has to. This is a trait I honestly would have loved to have seen in her -- an Opal who decides to go-off-queen on her teammates by saying that she's the boss and what she says goes would have been more entertaining to watch than the final product we got. Opal's an enjoyable character, but she could have used a lot more polishing to make her as perfect of a character as her predecessors. Yes, even with the story arc.

Such a good example of this unused trait in action would be with a plotline similar to "O For a Day" -- Opal is forced to fill in for an Odd Squad Director after they get ill or sick in some way, and as a result, she slowly begins to get drunk on her own power until it becomes full-blown alcoholism and it gets to be at its utter detrimental peak for the precinct and the agents that work there. Maybe she micromanages like a boss bitch so that it's micro-micromanaging. Maybe she has her sanity go weeeeeaaaaaaaow down the drain. Maybe she becomes what CEOs of corporations aspire to become. Whatever the outcome, it could have served as wonderful character development for her and showed that being a leader is no easy task and choosing one is not a "pick a name outta a hat" method.

Whereas Opal is a sort of weak expy of past characters (Olive/Otto) -- and even that could be a stretch -- Omar is explicitly referred to here as an expy of Olympia and Otto, which...well yeah, actually that's pretty accurate.

You know who he's also an expy of? Pinkie Pi- nah that joke got old fast in 2016, I'm not revivin' it again.

Omar is one agent out of the group whose personality remains largely the same, but also has something just a teeny-tiny bit...off. In this case, the thing that's off here is the fact that he's gullible. So let me word-vomit about this too, and throw some Pepto-Bismol into my Walmart shopping cart while I'm at it.

I'm going to be real with you guys, even though some of you might already be aware of this: Otto is not a gullible motherfucker. He's really not. If some random stranger on the street waddled on up to me and asked me what the first word I'd use to describe Otto would be, "gullible" would not be the first word that springs to mind. Has he had gullible moments? Oh abso-fuckin'-lutely without a doubt. He's a dum-dum blorbo sometimes and if I gotta be frank with Frank then I like him like that. But is he easily gullible? Yeah no.

Maybe Otto being gullible all the time was something that was planned for when he was nothing but an idea on paper. I've seen enough criticisms about his character development to where I could probably hang that guess out on a limb and pray to the oracle in "Nature of the Sandbeast" that I'm lucky.

But I digress. Omar's gullibility being exploited to hell and back by his teammates would have been amazing to see, but alas, it never really came to pass in Season 3. Would have made for great conflict with The Shadow when she didn't have an obsessive schtick for Opal and didn't decide to wake up and choose the "by proxy" option for her crimes.

Now where in the McFuck can I begin here? Can I start by going inside and telling the cook I'd like a McCrispy Lack of Facts with a side of large What the Fuck and a large WHOA AN ACTUAL ORIGINAL CHARACTER with no ice? Cool, thanks, card got approved and I'd like my receipt please.

To say Orla is a writers' pet is something that you could have some bobo respond to with "citation needed" and get citation...but not really enough citation. For a character that is no expy of any previous one in the franchise and is something birthed from the God of Originality in the Television Industry...well yeah, you could say that justifies it. But Orla is really a fantastic character through and through and she deserves all the love she can get. I mean it's not every day you get a character willing to make people spill their coffees by punching and kicking the ever-loving shit out of an octopus (for simplicity's sake, let's assume it's an octopus, okay? okay) on a network where physical violence can become weirdly memetic at best (I'm side-eyeing you, Arthur) and controversial at worst (I, uh...I can't name any controversies about that. I am sorry).

I'm not about to delve into the historical parts of that paragraph, largely because history is my worst subject. I can say for sure, however, that I see why they changed what she called cars. If we wanna get technical -- and I mean insufferably so -- then cars would technically be the carriage and the horse. The horse serves as the engine, and then you have the carriage as the main body of the vehicle. "Metal chariots" is a more broad term that is far more accurate, because when I, for one, think of a chariot, I think of the carriage and the horse.

Also, I'm pretty sure sandwiches were around back in her time...lemme see here...

Mmmmmhm. As I thought. And let me check the timeline of the show here...

...Oh! Well wouldja look at that! Not exactly 400 years, but close!

Yeah, something tells me a lot of writers on the crew might have gotten an A in comedy but got an F in history. That or they simply went "bitch, we don't give a fuck!"

Tim and Adam slipped in an absolutely beautiful burn that missed the show as much as that one guy who shows up to meetings several hours after conclusions.

Like I said before, and I will repeat: Orla is not an expy of any one character. She is an original character made from scratch like your mother's baked bread. I find it hard to believe that she's a copy of Otis in any aspect outside of "hey, both of our seasons have us as the feature of story arcs". I can kinda sorta see the "surprising skills" aspect, but not by much outside of the season premiere. (Which, to be fair, had her scaling a wall with the same strings the Zephyr Heights royalty used to pull themselves up, but did not have her saying anywhere that she tamed a jaguar. Nowhere does it say she tamed a jaguar. Wrestled alligators, but the fun stops with big cats that can eat your face off.)

Perhaps I can blame that on poor execution within Season 3 itself. After all, it tried to gamble with character development and it failed. And that's just one flaw out of many.

Shifting subjects, though, the most hilarious thing I find about this paragraph is her ability to come up with ideas that are out-of-the-box. Which, for those that have not watched the horror that was the second half of the season and miraculously lived, is Osmerelda's schtick. She is explicitly labeled as the out-of-the-box member of the group. They did a theft-not-theft of something from the pitch bible and slapped it onto Osmerelda and ohhhhhh maybe that's part of the reason why she's terrible as a character.

Wow. Eureka moment! How about that?!

Before I get started on tearin' apart Oswald like a huge-ass Thanksgiving turkey from the supermarket, I'd like to address what has to be one of my biggest pet peeves of the season.

"Librarian/museum worker" is not a thing. Stop trying to make "librarian/museum worker" a thing, Gretchen. It will never be a thing.

If you want to call Oswald by the correct terminology, then allow the Seren to educate you.

He is an Odd Squad Security agent first and foremost. He's got the uniform, he's got the position, he's got the duties, he's got the competence to make Owen eat dirt and live, it's all right there.

Second and backmost...he's a museum curator. A "Curator" is what you call people who work in museums. I know this because I punched it into Google because I'm a petty bitch who eats reruns of A&E shows for every meal.

For what it's worth, I will also accept "museum archivist" and "archives technician". That too.

Okay, have we got that settled? Cool beans. Let's move on.

Oswald as a character is, for all intents and purposes in existence, what happens when you take Oscar, suck every last inch of science out of him, and then replace it with an obscene level of bookbookbookbookBOOKBOOKBOOKBOOK. He's still got the same "sacrifice your lives to the devil that births oddness, here I shall stay in my safe zone" mentality that Oscar does, and he's the smart guy of the team, but that's about it as far as comparisons go. I never really pinned Oscar as a nerdy ol' bookworm anyway, though it would have been amazing and hilarious to see.

That being said, Oswald applying the power of the writing gods' hands to real life and failing tremendously would have been a great trait for him. You know the lil' man would read a book on overcoming social anxiety and pull off a Shocked Pikachu Face when it doesn't work. And then he'd read on why it didn't work, try again with the opposite, and pull off another Shocked Pikachu Face when that fails.

Ah, now, see? These are other traits I would have loved to see in Oswald.

Him being an insufferable jerk who goes "well eckshuelleh" every 5 minutes -- yes, including with exposition, that market of which Oprah had cornered for 8 years -- would have probably made Season 3 more enjoyable, at least for me.

You know what would be a good thing to add to that batter, though? Him being meta.

In Season 3, especially in the second "kids are more forgetful than a backwards elephant" half, Oswald makes a few callbacks to earlier seasons. Which is nice and all, but imagine if he pried through particular cases and nabbed specific events and relayed them to people like it's his job and livelihood. If they had enough balls to make Xavier and Xena utter jerkasses, they could have grown two more to make Oswald an utter jerk, but one with redeemable qualities. As an example of one: he's a jerk who goes "well eckshuelleh" on people, but he does it because he loves the show. He loves Odd Squad lore and history. He's a fanatic.

I mean...well...he loves it already. He's enough of a fanatic and that shit has been proven. But they don't really lean into it all that much. It might as well be more informed than anything else.

But jerking the subject away from that...what if God gave you a character with all the autism traits, and you decided to come out and say "nah, he's not autistic, he's a quirky lil' man"?

You're telling me you can't make the boy canonically autistic in the same way that, ohhhh, I dunno, AJ Gadgets is canonically autistic? Or that one Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood character whose name I forget? You're on a network that embraces diversity the same way wine moms embrace the triple-L of "Live, Laugh, Love" and you had an opportunity...and Tim and Adam both blew it. Out of the water. Nuclear explosion. Does autism exist in the world of Odd Squad? Is there air?! You don't know!

Okay, that's a dumb question. I was reminded that muscular dystrophy exists, along with whatever disability Xena has.

Instead, what they did with Oswald was make him so friendly and sociable with people you wouldn't believe he's been a hermit in the belly of the Big Apple for [REDACTED] years. Which is a waste, because I'd have liked for him to be canonically autistic. They spend so much time on gender and making sure girls and women triumph over men and boys that they forget about disability, y'know?

Ah well. There's always Season 4. But let's be honest, I'm fully prepared for them to laugh and say "there are no autistic people in Manchester, what a silly notion!"

Here's another pet peeve of mine when it comes to this show, and those who have followed me and my biz for a long time probably know this already.

I don't like the formality error on proud display here.

Let's set the record straight. You don't call your boss at work Manager, not unless they're one of those whoo-hoos who knows they're paying you minimum wage for busting your ass and is reveling in it. No one does. No one calls them that.

So exactly why call Oprah by Ms. O? Or even the Big O?

Yes, it's an easy identifier for popularity purposes. Yes, it's her title that everyone calls her by except for a few close pals.

But that's just it -- it's a title. It's not her actual name. It's not like her mom delivered her cesarean-style and decided to name her Ms. O to compete with Elon Musk and whatever gibberish he's named his kid this time. It's not like Oprah decided to get a legal name change to go with her meal of a free promotion. Oprah is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, her actual name, and to insinuate it's not puts you in a silly delusion with a silly mind that might not be so silly.

But, y'know...I've screamed this at people for nearly 9 years now and no one's listened. I was friends with Joshua Kilimnik and had the crew watch my stuff and still no one's listened.

...Maybe I'm the one who's deluded...

...Um.

...

Yeah okay, maybe I might have a point if they're not even bothering with title capitalization anymore.

Not much to spice up here, but if you're wondering where in the blue hell Onika came from: she's from Season 2 of OddTube. Is not an Odd Squad explorer or an oddness finder, but rather, she built an entire 2015 Mercedes-Benz Sprinter, threw some Odd Squad stuff on it, and called it half of a day, all with her own two hands.

Okay, it's hilarious that they're using teamwork and perseverance as an example of "broader themes". Yes, they are broader themes, but you also have:

Bullying

Trauma

Stop being like your family. You are not your family. You are you.

Friendship (is magic!)

Why going to work sucks ass on a daily basis

I could keep going, but I think I've made my point well with just these 5.

Nice justification for the set piece that is Oprah's office, though. That's clever. But...and it's a but bigger than any but Sir Mix-a-Lot has ever sung about in his career...this just highlights one of the problems with kids live-action shows. Had the show been animated in full, there would be no "I'll take seven slices of pizza and you can stuff your faces with the rest" to be found. Instead I must suffer in agony as I get whined at that "Odd Squad is not a cartoon".

One of the Odd Squad God's biggest mysteries is why, exactly, they axed Omar, yoted him into a single episode and a shitty-ass clickbait thumbnail, and decided to replace him with Orla.

...

No, no...actually I might know why. It may or may not have anything to do with the discussion of whether Orla is a "writers' pet" or not. No one @ me, I have theories.

But let me lay down Chris's crispy McNugget of truth for you all: while Orla does have appeal in her not understanding how technology works to save her life, Omar has somewhat equal appeal in him being a lover of traveling and buying souvenirs. Hell, if they wanted to grow balls that would make AC/DC weep, they could have cohosted the series. But alas, it was simply not meant to be.

Given how PBS Kids is planning to go the short-form route as a means of cutting costs while still aiming for quality, I'm kind of sad this never came to fruition. Imagine numerous seasons of OddTube, one for each country. All they would need to do was account for every Canadian in each country because if not then the bad guys have won.

...I mean it could come to fruition. Maybe. It might not. Maybe. Hopefully. It could be with Orli or something I dunno. She could shoot the shit or however British people say the phrase!

When I tell you folks this aged like milk, lemme tell you it aged like fucking milk. Like you could hear it churning at the grocery store while the manager does fuck-all about it.

Anyone who has absorbed enough of this franchise knows that episodes have absolutely been no stranger to rehashing mathematical concepts. And that's fine by me, because the episodes themselves aren't derivative outside of that regard. Each Season 1 and Season 2 episode is hand-crafted so it doesn't feel like a painfully obvious Xerox copy of a previous episode. Key word being "painfully obvious", keyer word being "painfully", because there are episode copies out there (see "The Trouble with Centigurps" and its mid little brother "Worst First Day Ever") that are obvious but don't actively make you say "I'm going to buy some Clorox and pour it into every facial orifice known to scientists who study human life".

Season 3 was absolutely no exception. However, instead of creating new plots and just sticking with that, they created new plots and also rehashed old ones in addition to reusing math (and science) concepts. Like plopping new pasta sauce on old shittily-cooked spaghett'. Is shit, tastes like shit.

One of the most glaring examples is with the infamous clip show episode, "Welcome to Odd Squad". Anyone can clearly see it's a rehash of "Odd Squad Needs You" from Season 2, just with new elements (a B-plot, Orpita instead of Oprah...No-Name who's essentially relatability personified). And, I mean, y'know...it's a clip show, which, in most cases, spells bad news for a series and/or a franchise. That too.

All in all, these comments are hilarious to me. Even if they are a stark reminder that in a show where comedy comes first and education comes second...there's still education.

If your first thought upon reading this wasn't "this seems more of a better fit for Wild Kratts or Cyberchase than Odd Squad" THEN WHAT THE MCFFFFFFFFFUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GET BACK IN THE HOUSE. YOUR LITERACY IS O F F JIM YA GOTTA READ IT AGAIN.

Okay, but I digress. In a world where the rules of scientific concepts like biology and anatomy go completely out the fucking window and land right onto your uncle's Corvette, this is a very stupid lesson and I'm honestly glad they didn't go through with it. We don't need lessons on the ecosystem in a world that explicitly defies the rules of ecosystems as we know them in real life.

I just did an audible groan at that stupid-ass pun. "Mathience"? Really? Suck a peanut. Like 90% of the "odd" puns are better than that trash. Be the fuck for real.

This is a nice plot, really, but I dunno...something about it just doesn't sit right with me. Let's be realer than real here, one of the climates would have had to be the Arctic. Another one might have been in the Amazon somewhere, or another place that's humid. And the third one...yeah I dunno about that one. But this plot isn't sitting right with me. Like a bruised coccyx.

...Okay, my brain got fried there for a moment. Let's move on.

I guess it's time I air out my ire with this episode -- which is a good episode, but let me just take the time to talk about one of the things that bothers me about it.

The 44-Leaf Clover is supposed to grant whoever finds it magical powers. So where in the holy God of McFUCK are the magical powers of the Mobile Unit?

Let's be realer than realer than real here: the Mobile Unit having magical powers would have really spiced up Season 3. If not the entire Unit, then at the very least Opal and Omar, who initially went on the adventure. But that part of the Clover's lore is just dropped clear straight away like my dinner from last night. We have four normal humans with no powers who pissed off that one guy who called them politically correct. Which honestly sucks and is yet another thing we can throw into the "Odd Squad Missed Opportunities" bucket. Wow is that bucket getting full. Shall we dump it in preparation for Season 4?

...Yeh but oddness struck like a long-ass time ago. You don't get two of the same snowflakes and not find it odd. Confetti Betty's a step up, sure, but oddness is oddness. Let's try and keep continuity, hmm?

---------------------------------------

So that's it. The Odd Squad Season 3 pitch bible, properly dissected and torn through and ripped to utter shreds like a dog to a slipper. Sorry not sorry. Had to be done.

Still holding out hope for an entire series pitch bible to unearth somewhere in life. Preferably sometime before my death. Preferably on the 'Net. Preferably stored on my computer somewhere. I can and will tear into that too if it ever pops up.

But for now...we wait for Season 4 news. Since I don't want to do anything big this year for the franchise's 9th anniversary because ADD and depression and ADD, you all can have this instead. You're welcome. This has rotted in my drafts for at least two months. Take it.

[lawbyrhys]

Lawyer Responds: Trump's Threat To Lawyers

In typical Trump style, the former president and 34-time convicted felon has taken to his social media website, Truth Social, with rants about all his woes following his 2020 election loss and the subsequent unsuccessful legal cases made in a futile attempt to "win" him the election.

Here's what he said, then I'll get to my response.

"The 2024 Election, where Votes have just started being cast, will be under the closest professional scrutiny and, WHEN I WIN, those people that CHEATED will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Law, which will include long term prison sentences so that this Depravity of Justice does not happen again. Please beware that this legal exposure extends to Lawyers, Political Operatives, Donors, Illegal Voters, & Corrupt Election Officials. Those involved in unscrupulous behavior will be sought out, caught, and prosecuted at levels, unfortunately, never seen before in our Country."

Considering the resulting various penalties— legitimate suspensions and disbarments faced by members of Trump's legal team both former and present—as an attorney, I don't take him seriously.

In all seriousness, though, the guy with 2500+ civil lawsuits and numerous criminal suits, not to mention his 34 felony convictions, doesn't have any standing when it comes to ethics, legal or otherwise. There's a reason that the ABA has established a Task Force to make sure this election goes correctly, fairly, and smoothly—and it's not because Donald J. Trump plays fair.

As an attorney, I took an oath to uphold and defend the laws of this country, and to do so with ethics and fairness. I am confident that no legitimate lawyer worth his billables would ever commit the offenses Trump and his team have committed, and the call is coming from inside the house. Again, Rudy Giuliani comes to mind.

I don't intend to be partisan in this content. Instead, I intend to do my part to publicize these issues during this high-stakes election season because I value the Constitution and democracy so much. I'm a lawyer who fucking loves what I do; I love my work and I love the people. To me, attacks like the far-right have been committing on our country are legitimately the worst, most unpatriotic moves any political party or politician themselves have ever made unto this country. I despise these actions from anybody, and I would do anything in my power to protect the rule of law from anybody who exhibits this behavior, regardless of party. It just so happens that these far-right conservatives hate this country, it appears. Regardless, though, I'll keep speaking up for what's right and defending the law as I swore to do, and I'm not fucking scared of any far-right threats—not even from Trump himself.

I know right from wrong. Legal from illegal. I know the Constitution front to back, and I use it in my work each and every day for only good.

The same can't be said of Trump and company.

You want to threaten this country? Bring it on.

November 5th: Vote Harris and save democracy.