#it just hurts. i know i have people around but it feels like everyones leaving

[violetasteracademic]

Context Clues: Elriel (and removal of the BC)

Happy Elriel month! This is my first one (I think most of you know that I am only about two months old in the online fandom) and I am still REELING from the fact that apparently not everyone needed to douse themselves in cold water after Elain and Azriel's interaction in the bonus chapter (and that Az is apparently both an incel AND a fuckboy, although those are mutually exclusive and non interchangeable traits. And Elain is secretly obsessed with Lucien and just toying with Az. But I digress.)

While I personally thought the bonus chapter confirmed Elriel, and of course others felt the complete opposite, I wanted to spend some time focusing on solely the books and seeing what we have. As we know, the bonuses are just *bonuses* available in a limited number of editions, in limited countries, and limited languages. I personally read all bonus chapters, but many don't. So excluding the BC from the conversation, where did A Court of Silver Flames leave us?

Here is the final on page interaction between Azriel and Elain in ACOSF:

A charged glance that takes Elain's breath away.

Here is the final on page interaction between Elain and Lucien in ACOSF:

Elain shrinks into herself after opening a present from her mate.

Here are the previous interactions between Azriel and Elain in ACOSF:

Elain acting all shy around Azriel.

Azriel's shadows ready to throw hands over Elain's hurt feelings.

Here are the previous on page interactions between Elain and Lucien:

There are none.

However, there are references, and they are as follows:

Lucien choosing to live in the human lands despite his mate living in Velaris.

Lucien dripping with discomfort over his presence only being expected because of Elain.

Meanwhile, here is Azriel referencing Elain when she is not there:

Azriel's shadows swarming and being unable to calm down at the mere thought of something happening to Elain.

Azriel stiffening at the mention of Elain's capture, and reminding Cassian he helped rescue her.

Nesta only agreeing to scrying because she trusts Azriel with Elain, the only person who could understand other than her or Feyre.

I have always, and will always reiterate that I am personally Lucien and Gwyn positive. Maybe that's because I'm so new, and haven't been whittled down from all the rudeness yet. (literally as I was working on this post, I got an unprompted comment from an E/ucien on one of my tiktoks that they can't wait to laugh at me when she chooses Lucien. It's annoying. And it sucks. But I know all sides do it.)

I joined the space because I was so overwhelmed by the negative Elain content. By the erasure of her thoughts and feelings and experiences. Bonus content aside, I also feel for Lucien, and my shipping him with Vassa is because he blushes and laughs and relaxes around her. Because she is fiery like Jesminda, the only other female he has ever loved. I don't personally have a ship for Gwyn yet because my reading experience hasn't taken me there in the story yet!

Look, I'm still out here shipping Klaroline and TVD and The Originals went their separate ways almost a decade ago. Ships should be fun. They don't always have to be canon. I'm simply sharing that the reason I make this content for you guys is to provide some comfort to people like me, who felt overwhelmed and gaslit by all the hatred for Elain- dissertations and powerpoints dedicated to erasing her and her value and feelings- as someone who read the books and loved her, as well as her dynamic with Azriel.

I will continue to refrain from discussing the bonus chapter (in this post) no matter how SEXY it was, and how in line it is with everything already happening in the books, but I'm just trying to showcase what the experience is for book readers only, which is the vast majority globally.

Stay kind out there, and manifesting a book announcement soon! Happy Elriel month, all!

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Xan you pls so some nash sad headcanons?

of course<3. may be shorter than my other sad hcs cause i'm currently sick. i might make some more when i feel better. small, small trigger warning for suicidal thoughts, self harm, and tobias hawthorne. hope you enjoy!

he's obviously extremely protective of his brothers. so much that, when skye or tobias got mad at one of them, nash would convince them it was his fault so they wouldn't hurt his brothers' feelings

this is less of a head canon cause he mentioned this in tbh, but nash is convinced that everyone will someday leave him, and that he'll end up alone.

although tobias and skye hurt him a lot (verbally, they didn't hit him obviously), he had to pretend he was fine all of the time for his brothers. they thought he was a disappointment because he didn't act like a 'real' hawthorne. he didn't tell anyone.

the pressure he puts on himself sometimes becomes too much. so much that he's considered ending his life by jumping off of a bridge/overdosing on smth.

high school was extremely tough for him but no one knew. he felt like he had the world on his shoulders and couldn't speak to anyone about it. his grades would start going down (mind you, they were still great), and tobias would get mad at him. he'd try extra hard to succeed, and he did, but at the cost of his mental health

the reason why he has a savior complex is bc he wishes he could've saved his brothers from everything that tobias did to them. it became even worse after emily. he thinks it was his responsibility to warn them and help them. he know thinks he has to save everyone to make up for it.

nash thinks of himself as a complete failure. so much that sometimes simply looking in the mirror makes him cry.

this one will sound corny but he saves everyone but himself (he doesn't think he deserves to feel better)

he puts everyone's needs in front of his own. he sometimes doesn't eat, sleep, etc just to help his family. (he ended up in the hospital once cause he passed out due to malnutrition)

when nash was younger, he wanted his father in his life so badly he would go beg tobias to tell him his name. he wanted someone who would be there for him bc no one else was.

he used to think there was smth wrong with him bc he wasn't like his other brothers. at the same time, he knew it was partly bc he knew how messed up his grandfather was, but he still wished he could be like the others/accepted.

tobias used to tell him that he was extremely disappointed in him all the time. tobias wanted him to take care of more than he could take. tobias didn't actually care if it took everything out of nash, he just didn't want to take care of everyone else himself.

tobias used to hear him cry at night but didn't do shit to help him. he thought that nash had to toughen up (he was like 13)

nash doesn't like letting other people do things for him bc it makes him hate himself even more. he feels bad when people take on what he thinks is his responsibility. at the same time, it makes him cry cause it makes him feel loved.

he gets mad at himself bc he thinks he's overreacting all the time. he tells himself other people have it worse and that he has no right to complain when he has such a good life.

in high school, he was actually in some pretty sketchy friend group. they took drugs and stuff and got him into it. nash never got addicted, but he now takes drugs when everything becomes too much for him.

in my jamie head canons, i said that he hits punching bags until his hands start bleeding (and even that doesn't stop him sometimes). i think the same goes for nash. he wouldn't self harm in a way that made it obvious to himself that he was harming himself. he'd do it in 'subtle' ways that he could convince himself weren't self harm.

his hands are really messed up for multiple reasons. the boxing and the fact that whenever something goes wrong, he bites his nails and the skin around them.

(idk if this one is even possible, but i'm on the verge of falling asleep and want to finish this) when he fails to save someone, he'll stuff his head in a pillow/in his cowboy hat to cut off oxygen. it kind of brings him back to the present when he starts spiraling.

he has really bad anxiety and actually takes pills to deal with it. all of his responsibilities and stuff weigh him down a lot.

he does so much for others that when he got together with libby and she started doing things for him, he'd actually cry. she'd make him breakfast and he'd tell her it was too much.

he used to have trichotillomania (mental health condition that involves irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows, or other areas of your body). over time he got better, but sometimes it comes back when his anxiety is really bad.

he used to make his mom drawings and gifts in hope of getting her attention (she never cared). he used to think it was because his drawings weren't good enough, so he'd try again and again until he realized he was the problem.

nash personally blames himself for all of the pain tobias caused people (like lyra and stuff). for some reason, he thinks he should've stopped him somehow even though that's impossible.

he used to come home really scraped up because he'd get into fights for his brothers whenever someone was mean to them or hurt them. he has some permanent scars on his body bc of the fights, but he still thinks he should've done more.

whenever nash does something he deems 'wrong' he hears tobias' voice in his head telling him he's a failure.

a happy nash head canon to finish this off:

nash, as a kid, loved ducks. he would head to ponds to feed them, and he owned like 294810 books on ducks. he had tiny duck figurines in his bedroom (and still does). he used to make short videos about them and his little trips to the pond with his camera.

[jjkamochoso]

The Perfect Fit

Story Overview: Levi Ackerman begrudgingly finds himself falling in love with the Survey Corps’ seamstress. Will they be able to own up to their feelings for each other? Or is their love doomed to fail before they discover the truths of each other’s hearts? This slow burn reader insert story will be filled with angst, yearning, and a bit of mystery as we slowly unravel the truths behind Y/N’s past… and explore her and Levi’s future!

Chapter 10

Chapter 9 linked here

Chapter 11 coming soon!

Levi Ackerman x female reader

Warnings: cussing, suggestive jokes

The first two weeks of Levi’s healing went okay, him finally being resigned to the fact that he needed to rest after breaking ribs. He threw himself into the mountains of paperwork that had piled up because, in his words, “I can’t sit around scratching my ass while everyone else works.” Meanwhile, you were busy suturing up all of the uniforms that got ruined from the last expedition. The confession you two shared nights ago stayed nestled in the back of your mind as you went through the motions of work. You felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest and your tongue was no longer heavy with feelings unspoken. Levi now knew how deeply you cared for him and, better yet, didn’t run from his emotions as they were conveyed in his own manner.

By week 4, Levi had enough of not doing physical work. His sour mood permeated every room he moped into, cadets practically tripping over their feet to stay out of his way and spare themselves from the venom waiting to spill from his mouth. His patience was thinner than usual and he found himself snapping at everything and everyone. Even you weren’t spared of his foulness.

“Look, Levi, I’m just trying to help,” you had said one morning after he had struggled bending over to tie his shoe. You’d leaned down to tie the laces but he swatted you away, scowling.

“I’m not a damn baby. Leave me alone and get back to work.”

You gave him an unimpressed look. “You’re my captain but you’re not gonna boss me around like that.”

That irritated him further. “Listen, Sergeant. When I tell you to do something, you do it. Am I clear?”

You narrowed your eyes. “All due respect, Captain, but you taking your anger out on people for something they didn’t do isn’t nice. It sucks getting hurt, trust me, I know, but it’s not permanent.”

Levi didn’t respond. You could tell he was seething and you weren’t sure if it was from your blatant lack of respect for his authority or because you were right. Probably a mix of both.

“What do you know about what I’m going through? All you do is sit in here all day sewing. I have an important job that I have to get back to. People are relying on me.”

Levi’s finger was pointed toward you accusingly and you wished you had enough courage to snap it off his hand.

“I thought we were past the petty insults, Levi. You don’t need to be a jerk to me because of your inner turmoil or whatever. You’re right, I don’t give my heart and life like the other Scouts do, and I’m sorry for that. I don’t know what it’s like to see comrades die and maybe feel like it’s my fault. But my job is important in its own way, too, and I know you know that.”

You could see that your words made an impact because Levi’s expression changed from one of dismay to something that leaned more toward despair. You were right, of course—Levi had gone too far. He had been ridiculously upset at his own shortcomings when he went to the dining hall and saw all of the missing faces from the last expedition. Every time a soldier dies, he feels like a piece of himself dies with them. Sure, it was their duty to give it all for the sake of others, and he has no regrets about any of the choices he makes as a leader, but that sure as hell didn’t make any of the losses hurt less. He internalized their deaths as his fuel to keep going. He needed to get back to training as quickly as possible so he could make sure there weren’t as many casualties the next mission and his injury was preventing him from doing so. Levi also couldn’t get the night from a few weeks ago out of his head. He knew it was the right thing to share with you how he felt about you, but he couldn’t help but think you’d change your mind about caring for him after seeing him so vulnerable and useless. He reverted into his old ways of pushing everyone away, but he should’ve known that you weren’t the type to give up easily, especially on people you cared about.

He couldn’t meet your gaze as he uttered a quiet apology: “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you should be. But thanks for acknowledging it. Anyway, drop the shitty attitude. We’re going for a walk.”

You proceeded to exit the room but Levi stood in his previous spot.

“Did you break your legs, too? I said c’mon.” You motioned for him to come with you and he finally obliged. The walk outside was quiet, both of you unsure if the other wanted to talk. Levi’s eyes adjusted to the bright sun that warmed his body as he realized he hadn’t been in the open air the entire time he’d been injured. That was probably another reason why he was so grumpy. You, of course, had assumed this and decided he needed some time to rest outside and get Vitamin D in his system.

“Where are you taking me, brat?” he asked, trying his best to be annoyed but not finding it within him.

You gave him a sly smile and put your finger over your lips. “It’s a secret. You trust me, don’t you?”

He rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately. But if you’re taking me somewhere to put me down like a lame horse I ask you do it quickly.”

“Hey! Dead horse jokes hit a little too close to home still,” you said, playfully scoffing. “Besides, you won’t want to repeat that in front of our gracious hosts for the morning.”

He didn’t know what you meant until he realized you were at the stables.

“I checked with the doctor the other day and she said it was still too early for you to ride your horse but we can give these guys some snacks if you’re up for it.”

Levi usually hated coming to the stables since it was dirty and smelled nasty but he couldn’t deny how his heart raced at the idea that you went out of your way to do something to better his well-being, even after he treated you rudely. He didn’t answer you but found his way to his horse, the only black one in the Survey Corps. You took that as a sign he’d agreed with your suggestion and you internally high five’d yourself at making a good call. You left to find some fruits and vegetables for the animals. You were gone for a good 20 minutes, hoping Levi would enjoy his alone time. When you came back, you saw that you were right—the captain had his hand outstretched to his horse’s snout and was on the receiving end of unstoppable licks. He looked the most at ease than you had seen him in a while and the sight of him bonding with his horse melted your heart. You handed him a carrot to feed the steed but he refused.

“You should feed him. I know how lonely you are without your own horse and that could help.”

It was a short sentence but it hit your gut with a huge impact. Levi truly did care for you, even if he was bad at showing it sometimes. You appreciated the little gesture, putting the vegetable in your grasp and offering it to the hulking creature. He ate it gratefully and you found yourself snuggling into the horse as Levi’s hand stayed stroking its face.

“Horses are just so cute. I wanna give him a big smooch!” You leaned in and gave Levi’s horse a small peck, giggling at Levi’s shocked face.

“What? Are you jealous?” you asked.

“Tch. Are you stupid? That’s disgusting.”

“Me kissing the horse or the thought of me kissing you?”

Your teasing made the tips of his ears turn red as he huffed in annoyance.

“Use your brain and figure it out,” he grumbled, leaving to feed the other horses. Your laughter echoed throughout the stables, the horses stamping their feet and joining in the fun. After a few hours and the morning turned to afternoon, you could see that Levi was getting tired from his outing.

“I’m starving. Wanna grab some lunch?” you suggested as you heard Levi’s stomach grumble. When you walked into the dining hall, there was a commotion from your regular table.

“Oh hey, here comes the duo! We haven’t seen either of you around, we thought maybe you didn’t like us anymore,” Petra said, wearing a fake frown.

Oluo chimed in. “They’re together all the time now, so if they don’t like us, at least we know they like each other!”

A round of flirtatious sounding “ooh’s” were chorused and you saw Levi give him a death glare.

“You’re not familiar with that feeling, are you, Oluo?”

The whole table burst out in uncontrollable laughter as Oluo pouted and it was like old times again. You and Levi put down your filled trays and began to eat, listening to the funny stories being swapped by your friends. As you took a bite of bread, you felt some of your hair getting pulled and saw Levi plucking something out of it.

“You have hay in your hair, idiot.” He placed the stray piece on the side of his tray to dispose of later and you went back to eating. Little did you know, the whole table was trying to hide their shock at the loving gesture their captain brazenly displayed.

“Really? Right in front of my soup?” Gunther groaned while Petra punched him in the arm to be quiet. When the meal was finished, Levi took his leave while you stayed behind to catch up with your friends.

“So, hay in your hair, huh? Did you and the captain go for a romp in the stables?” snickered Oluo and you choked on your drink.

“Wha-what? Don’t be crass. I don’t know why you would think that,” you said, embarrassment creeping up your body. You were fine getting teased about anything other than your love life, or lack thereof. That topic flustered you to no end and Squad Levi picked up on that, fast.

“Hmm? So you didn’t ride the famed black stallion?” Eld smirked. You wanted to die then and there.

“Guys, stop. I didn’t-W-we don’t… that’s gross. We’re not like that. We’re just good friends, that’s all.” Your stammering spurred on more hoots and hollers as they ignored the substance of your words. Your chair scraped the floor as you stood and slammed your hands down on the table.

“Please knock it off!”

The whole dining hall went silent. You hadn’t meant to be that loud but you caught the attention of everyone in the room. Your friends looked at you with wide eyes, surprised at your outburst.

“We were just having fun, y/n, we didn’t mean to make you upset,” said Petra.

“We go too far sometimes. Sorry,” replied Gunther. The other guys nodded solemnly. You sat back down and put your head in your hands.

“Sorry guys. It’s not you… well, okay, it was you a little bit, but I’ve just had a day.”

“We’ve all been there, kid. Don’t worry about it.” Oluo placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Besides, there’s no one else we’d rather see our beloved captain with!”

“Petra!” you whined, seeing her smile, “we’re not together. I promise you that much.”

The group exchanged glances.

“Are you sure?” asked Gunther, “because I’ve never seen Levi be so gentle with anyone before.”

“Yeah,” Eld added, “you fooled us. I would’ve guessed you two were married by the way he acts around you.”

Their words were comforting. The connection you and Levi shared was something unseen before by any of his closest comrades which brought you a sense of peace that this really was something special.

“All I know is that Levi and I have a profound sense of trust in each other. I’m not sure how to describe it any better than that but I hope it’s enough for you guys to understand what I mean.”

Apparently it was a good enough description for your friends because they finally left you alone about it, opting instead to talk about a poor cadet who was left hanging upside down by their ODM gear for an hour during training. You kindly excused yourself from the conversation to clear your tray and head back to work. You felt a long arm wrap around your shoulders before you could leave the dining hall and you were met with Hange’s face millimeters from your own.

“Hay in your hair, huh?” They gasped before breaking out into a giddy smile. “Did you and Levi finally bang?!”

Only a few minutes after Levi entered his office, his door flew open, swinging wildly on its hinges, and there you stood, huffing angrily.

“I have to get out of this place for a few days. You up for that trip to the interior?”

Taglist: @blueeclipsepaperstudent @raginginferno267 @come-away-with-me87

[laundryandtaxesworld]

You'll be in my heart, from this day on

wc: 543 | ship: bucktommy | G | title from You'll be in my heart by Phil Collins | please don't repost :)

Buck held his breath. There she was, staring up at him with sea blue eyes, much like Tommy’s. 

Madeline Buckley-Kindard, born June 1st, 2028, 7 pounds and 6 ounces.  

Lost in admiring his newborn daughter, he had yet to see Tommy coming to greet him with coffee in his hands. 

“Hey babe. How’s it going?” Tommy handed Buck his coffee. 

“She’s perfect.” Buck smiled then glanced up at Tommy. 

“Just like her father.” Tommy kissed Buck’s cheek and went around to the other side of the bassinet. 

“Did you talk to Amy?” Buck gently stroked Madeline’s check. 

“Yeah, she’s doing well. Claud and the boys are with her now.” 

“Mhmm. Going to have so many cousins, aren’t you Madeline?” Buck whispered. 

—

Seven months as new parents, Buck and Tommy felt exhausted but fulfilled. It was a sunny day and the light was filtering through the windows of their apartment.

 Madeline was looking up at him from her tummy time. While Buck wasn’t required to watch anymore since she could get up off her stomach herself, he loved watching his baby explore the world. 

“You want to crawl to Papa?” Buck asked Madeline. Madeline cooed in response. He heard Tommy chuckle as he finished preparing dinner. 

“Oh shush,” Buck turned to look at his husband, “you love it when I ask her questions.” Tommy put his hands up in mock surrender. When Buck turned back to Madeline, he grinned. She was up on all fours and wobbly. 

“Babe, come here! I think she’s going to crawl!” Buck heard rustling, his eyes not leaving his seven month old. He felt a warmth on his back and reached back to grab Tommy’s hand. 

With bated breath they waited. Time seemed to stretch on for hours but couldn’t have been more than a minute when Madeline moved her arms and legs in a crawl towards her fathers.

—

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you Madeline! Happy birthday to you!” Everyone cheered while the three of them blew out Madeline’s candle.

 Buck smiled as Madeline smashed into her smash cake and Tommy cut the second cake for everyone else.

 He couldn’t believe it had been a year since he saw that precious face living and breathing for the first time.

 A year and nine months  since he became a father and his world was finally complete. He finally got to be the father he never had. 

A piece of chocolate cake was suddenly thrust into his view as arms wrapped around his waist. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” 

“They’re not worth that much.” 

“Anything you have is worth more than a penny.” Tommy whispered in Buck’s ear. Buck shivered. 

“I was thinking about my father,” Buck whispered back, “How I don’t remember him doing anything for me unless I was hurt. I don’t want that for her.” Buck peeked at Tommy who looked thoughtful. 

“She won’t have to get hurt for you to love her,  Evan. Because you love so much and so big that all the people who you save and even strangers feel it. She’ll never know what it’s like to have the absence of love, because you’re her father.” 

Buck blinked back tears and fully settled into Tommy’s arms as he watched his family.

[onmyknees4loak]

Teach me

Lo'ak x Reader

Warnings: (Lowkey stalker and sub lo'ak) Synopsis : (Lo'ak cant seem to take his eyes off of the girl who teaches his nephew.)

Playlist I listened to while making this

Reader's POV

"Good job muffin!!" Pxe'pe one of my youngest students finally gets her threading right. She runs off to show her mother.

I'm what Jake calls a babysitter but I like to think of myself as a teacher I mean that is what I do, people leave there kids with me while they attend to there duties and I teach them things like threading, scavenging, and even healing.

"miss miss miss" i hear a small voice from behind me and feel small hands on my leg, i turn around to be met with Kame'xar, one of my little ones.

"yes what do you need sweetie" i crouch down to be at his level

"i cut my finger" a little sob comes out as he holds his hand up, i see a small bright red cut nothing to serious but still it must hurt.

"oh no sweetie come on lets go fix that up for you" i extend my arms and pick him up, i start heading to the healing tent. i look down at his finger and as im looking away from in front of me i bump into a tall stiff figure. "Oh my eywa! I am so sorry" the figure turns around, i began to panic even more. The figure is Kame'xar's uncle.

"oh my goodness Lo'ak I apologize" i say hoping he wont notice the cut on his nephew's hand.

"oh no worries ...." he pauses trying to remember my name.

"y/n my name is y/n" i tell him.

"y/n... That's a beautiful name....Oh my god Kame'xar i didn't even notice you what's up bro, have you been crying what happened?"

He looks at me wondering what happened to his nephew,

"he cut his finger we were on the way to the healing tent to fix him up."

"oh well please let me walk you there its the least i can do" Lo'ak insists.

"I mean it is only right there but sure" we began walking to the tent which is already in sight.

Once we walk into the tent i set Kame'xar down on the floor and lower to my knees to grab the healing paste. I take his hand and gently rub the paste over his cut.

Kame'xar giggles "its c-cold!" he says in a fit of giggles.

"it is isn't it" i say laughing with him.

I can feel Lo'aks watching my every move. I stand up and turn around to Lo'ak.

"Well i should be getting Kame'xar back now." I feel Kame'xar put his now healed hand in mine and start pulling me to the opening of the tent.

"Thank you y/n, bye Kame'xar ill see you at dinner" lo'ak says waiting for us to leave.

"Bye" me and Kame'xar say at the same time.

As were walking I can't help but to keep thinking about Lo'ak everyone says he,s a bad influence and all he does is get in trouble but he seems so sweet and caring- ok y/n snap out of it he didn't even know your name and you got more important things to worry about.

Lo'ak's POV

'y/n.....y/n how have i never seen her around surly i would have noticed someone that beautiful. She's so different there's just something soothing and pleasant about her.

I walk out of the healing tent and start heading to our family tent,

Oh eywa i can't get that beautiful women out of my head. I need to see her again. I change my direction and start heading to where i know neteyam drops Kame'xar off every day. As i get closer i can hear the sound of children laughing getting louder, shes so good with kids. I hope to make her laugh like that one day.

I see my girl with kids running around her, there playing a game. I keep my distance and sit on a log where others are sitting and eating fruit.

I just sit there and watch her teach and play with the kids for hours. I turn away any time she looks in my direction hoping she doesn't realize that ive been sitting here for hours.

She would never want a guy like me an outcast.

Reader's POV

I finish putting up all the kids threading projects keeping them safe for tomorrow.

"Good Bye Vaylen! I'll see you tomorrow" now all the kids have gone home for the night, and i can start heading home. i turn around to start walking in the direction of my tent when i see Lo'ak sitting looking at me when he realizes I'm looking at him he turns his head the other way. Now that i think about it he has been sitting there since i got back from the healing tent.

'Should i go talk to him?' i ask myself 'I should.'

I start walking over to him with a smile on my face, he notices me coming over and i can see his body tense up.

"Hey Lo'ak what are you doing here?" i come to a stop in front of him.

"Oh i w-was ju-just uh chillin yk" he stutters over his words.

'my god, he's so cute, i want him stuttering over his words while i ride him' omg! what the fuck is wrong with me why would i think that.

I think he could tell i just got surprised with myself.

'y/n? Are you okay?" he asks as he stands up getting closer to me.

I can feel the tension in the air as his face is suddenly a few inches from mine.

"Yeah im good" i see his eyes move down to my lips as he licks his own.

He leans in intel our lips meet and he begins kissing me, i kiss back and start getting a little more aggressive i bring my hand to the back of his head and put my fingers through his hair lightly pulling.

"mMm" Lo'ak lets out a whimper/moan.

I pull away and bring my hand down " i cant do this Lo'ak im sorry" i look down to my feet.

"Why not baby?" he asks pushing hair behind my ear.

"What would people think if they found out, im not trying to be mean but your kinda know as a bad boy yk, and i dont want people to not trust me with there kids im sorry"

I turn around to leave and i feel him grab my hand and pull me back.

"Then Teach me, teach me how to be a good boy"

[xkaidaxxxx]

Villain's love

Dabi x reader

Mentions: scolding, torture, pain, betrayal, heartache.

no proof read. Will be a part 2!

“You’re a disgrace to us heroes. How could you stoop so low and fall in love with a villain, and who is the right hand man of the leader of the LOV!” Midnight yelled. Mr.Aizawa, a.k.a your father called you to the principal's office. At first you thought it was about the fact you skipped school for 3 days while he was gone for hero duties. The big 3 are your best friends and they would beg you to attend class and you refused.  “ What have you told him?” Principal Nezu asked sternly. All you could do is cry and grip your father’s shirt. “ I haven’t said anything and I don’t plan to.” you replied. “ How did you meet him? How do you even talk to him? These past couple days have you been with him?” Midnight asked so many questions it was overwhelming you. Aizawa gave a dirty look at her signaling to leave his daughter alone. “ I was walking out at night in the city because I needed to clear my mind and I wanted to be alone… There was a group of men… They tried raping me..they tore my clothes off…then Dabi beat them and burned them alive… He tossed his jacket to me due to my torn clothing… I knew he’s a villain..that he’s in the League of Villain. I was terrified and he saved me. I thanked him. He walked me back to campus..he stayed across the street hidden just in case. After about a week later we bumped into each other and we just talked..we set up a day and time to meet up. I needed to give his jacket back… we spent the whole saturday hanging out..No villain shit to be clear. From there we just met up multiple times…We’ve been together for 6 months.” You replied crying. The teachers stayed silent. They felt bad about what could’ve happened to you. “ We can’t trust her..I’m sorry Aizawa but we have to report her to the authorities.” Principal Nezu said. “Are you kidding me? This is my daughter! She’d never do such a thing! She’d never betray UA. If she did, the LOV would’ve made a move long ago.” your dad defended you keeping you close to him if he had to fight. 

“ We can’t automatically accuse her of being a traitor without any proof. We can bring in a doctor to give her a lie detector test. His tests are a bit more painful.” All might, said. “I’ll do it. I’d never do anything to hurt people.” you replied. Little did you know it would be painful on the next level. 

You were taken to a room and a man started strapping you down to a table. Cables were being attached around your body. You were scared and confused. You looked at the large glass mirror knowing everyone was on the other side listening and watching. You whimpered as a doctor injected a large amount of a clear liquid in your neck. “ What the hell did he inject?” Aizawa asked. “He’s not only checking her heart rate and her brain but also forcing the truth out of her. The serum is the very painful part. If she lies it will torture the truth out of her and if that doesnt work they have other ways apparently.” a nurse replied to him starting the recording.

 “I’m going to ask you simple questions and If you don’t want to feel like you're being stabbed or shot continuously you will answer.” the doctor said looking over at your vital signs. “ Are you Y/n Aizawa?” He asked, “ Yes, I am Y/n Aizawa.” “ How old are you?” he asked. “ I’m 18 turning 19.” you replied scared of what crazy he will eventually ask. “ Your heart rate is up a bit. Are you hiding something?” He asked, writing something down on his tablet. “ No.” You lied and suddenly felt pain through your body. “Tell me the truth,” he ordered. Your body twitched. “ Yes! I am hiding something. I’m scared about all of this.” you said as sighed in relief. “Mhm see how easy that is. “ Who is the villain you fell in love with?” he continued with his questions. You started crying. “ I’m in love with Dabi.” you replied. “ You’re crying? Are you sure? Is he forcing you  to say that?” he asked, looking at the high tech monitors. “ I am sure. I’m in love with him. He isn’t forcing me to say anything.” you replied knowing this will lead to you being tortured. “ How did you meet him? In detail.” the doctor said. “ I walked alone in the city at night. There was a group of men who grabbed me and took me into a dark alleyway… I tried my best to get them off me… They called me dirty things..like I’m a slut..and whore..that I would be a good treat to them.. They tore my clothes off and their hands roamed my body. Dabi showed up throwing them off me..he took his coat off and covered me..then proceeded to beat them up..he burned them alive. He walked me back to campus making sure we were unseen by anyone. He stayed across the street from campus hidden, making sure I got inside safely. I thanked him for saving me and said goodnight. ” you replied crying. Hating to remember how the men tried raping you. Take your innocence away. “ Did you meet him again after that encounter?” he asked. You nodded yes. “ We bumped into each other a week later after the incident.” you replied. You saw two nurses walk inside with a weird machine. “ Where did you see him again and what was done?” He asked, signaling the nurses to start setting up something. “I saw him by the park…it was around 6am. I was out to do basic errands for myself. We ended up spending the entire day together. No villain activities were done.” you replied. “ What were your errands for that day? Were you planning to do more that day? How did no one recognize him? What activities were done?” he asked. “I needed to get to the store to buy snacks, a heating pad and some pads. I got my monthly period. I was planning to do more. Just watch movies, play video games and eat junk food. No one recognized him. He was wearing a hoodie and he had a face mask to hide his burned face. I saw Tamaki and asked him to take my things to the dorms. After that Dabi and I talked for hours and played some stupid games.It was fun” you replied smiling. 

The questions went on and on. Then the difficult ones came up. 

“ Have you met any of the other villains?” he asked. You refused to answer because you didn’t want your father to hate you. Your body shook and twitched. Your body moved so much, the straps held you down. “ They’re hurting her! Give her a break!” Aizawa yelled, grabbing a nurse's collar. “ Stop, she agreed to this.” All might, said. He did feel bad. “ Give her another one.” the doctor said. You felt a prick. Another dosage of the truth serum. You screamed in pain. “Yes! I have!! Shigaraki, Toga, Twice and Kai!” you yelled. You cried and cried. “Has any of them asked you for information or threatened you?” you couldn’t handle it. You needed a break. You were overstimulated. “ Y-Yes!!! Toga. She asked for Ua intel on what we have planned. She threatened me.” you replied. “What did she say she’d do?” the doctor said. You couldn’t say what she said to you. “ She’d kill me.” you lied. You cried out in excruciating pain. “If you don’t answer our questions we won’t inject more serum. We’ll just use the old way. Electricity doesn’t seem nicer.” he said. “She said she’d kill my papa. She’d give him a slow and painful death. I don’t want him to hate me if he gets hurt. I can’t let him get hurt. He’s everything I have.” you cried trying to relax. Failing at it. “ Did you give them any information?” he asked. “No. After that Dabi told Shigaraki to not let anyone lay a finger on me. To keep me out of it. Since then I’ve been safe. He takes great care of me.” you replied breathing heavily. “Why do you think he takes care of you?” you looked at the doctor in rage. “He saved me from two horrible situations and maybe more after this! You and other heroes only care about the greater good!” you yelled trying to get out of the grip of the straps. “You’re talking like a villain alright. What makes you think that? Are you planning to betray the heroes? You’re father?” he asked, taunting you. You fell into it. “ Heroes would sacrifice someone for the greater good. It could be a loved one..a friend..or a civilian. It sucks to know that you don’t matter as much as you think you do to them. At the end of the day they will more than likely sacrifice you…a villain would burn the world to save someone..a loved one and random person who needs help. Dabi knew I was eraserheads daughter. A hero in training and even then he stepped in. He saved me. He’s done so much for me in 6 months. I know every one who knows about him and I highly disagree but it's the truth. I know my dad would never give me up. He’d protect me in the end regardless if he’s a hero or not. He’s the best dad ever. Better together. I’m lucky to still have him even after I caused all this mess. ” you replied. “Him doing so much is the truth and you have a strong bond with your father, you're not in any pain. You are very lucky and privileged” the doctor agreed. You were asked more questions and they let you go 2 hours later. Your dad and All might make sure to take you to the hospital. You stayed there for about 2 weeks. Missing Dabi like crazy.

Your quirk is an amazing one. Very strong. You hold multiple quirks and can create new ones. You were scared. Having to control multiple quirks was difficult as a child. Most parents would keep their children away from society. Your dad didn’t. He sent you to daycare, elementary school, middle school and now High school. To him you grew up fast. He loves and cares for you, his daughter. He’s so proud of the woman you’ve become regardless of who you are in love with. Yes it’s crazy but you found kindness and love within Dabi and the other Villains they just were treated horribly in their past and had no one to help them. They had to fend for themselves. They lost it along the way.

You communicating with Dabi was not through anything cellular. It was through handwritten letters. You managed to buy a bird through the black market. He gets the job done in delivery and fast.

As soon as you were discharged from the hospital and back to your dorm you fed the little fella and started writing.

Dear Dabi,

The heroes found out about us and I don’t know who and how someone saw us together. Don’t worry since I don’t have any info on you guys besides Toga threatening me, you’re all fine.They tortured me badly. They asked how I met you and it was hard to tell them what had happened. It was terribly excruciating pain. All I thought about was trying to relax, being honest and needing you.

I was at the hospital for 2 weeks. I miss you a lot. We should meet up soon. Actually they’re probably going to escort me when I need to go into the city so after awhile.

How are you? Has anything come up? Are you safe? No cough or cold? No fever? Are your friends being nice, if not let them know even if you need to scare them.

I love you very much. Please stay safe. Keep the the love of fire within you ( you’re telling him to get a new hide out or move to a different one.) Keep in touch if you can.

Love you very much. I’ll respond every 3 days after I receive your letter okay so no need to worry if I’m okay.

Much love, Haru

(both agreed on your code name being Haru after all you met in clear weather and since then you felt love and joy.)

pt.2 will come.

[the-kipsabian]

grieving

[hella1975]

by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

[qumiiiquinnquin]

ill never be good enough at anything

[caffeinatedopossum]

Everyone's acting like nothing happened

[vimbry]

drains collapsed. under house

[kavehater]

I honestly wish people cared more about depression and other issues rather than saying they care but scrutinise a person so horribly when they show symptoms associated with said condition 🧎‍♀️

[shootforstars]

-

[athosfuckedurdad]

Have you ever gone to sleep, JUST tired because you did a lot that day, no social or emotional batteries drained or anything you just like. Go to sleep. And you sleep through the night all comfy cozy and in the morning after the just woke up grogginess fades you get up and actually have energy? I have like once recently and what the FUCK you're telling me neurotypicals feel that way every day????

[peachesofteal]

Light on - single mom/neighbor fic Simon Riley/female reader Prompt: Protective Simon. For the beautiful and talented @lethalchiralium

Simon’s phone is ringing. 

Price raises an eyebrow from the end of the table, pausing mid-sentence, confused. Simon’s phone never rings. It’s always on full volume, because he never gets phone calls, except for ones from the 141, and they’re all here. At this briefing.  

His fingers find the ringer, ready to silence what he’s sure is a nuisance call, some telemarketer or robot, when he reads your name across the screen. 

You’ve never called him before. Unease tightens across his chest, and without any explanation, he excuses himself from the room and the bewildered looks being cast his way. 

“Hey, you-“

“Simon?” You sound off. Like you’re trying to be calm, but there’s something lingering on the edge of your voice, something scared. His spine goes stiff. 

It’s enough to propel him into action, his fist thumping against the window of the brief room, jerking his head south. I’m leaving, the motion signifies. Emergency.

“What’s wrong?” 

“N-nothing. Just… there’s this guy that’s been like, half a block behind me since I got off the train.” He closes his eyes. The fucking train. He wants you to stop taking the train. He needs you to stop taking the train. 

“He followed you from the platform?” 

“Well, he could be walking this way too…” 

“Where are you?” His keys are already in his hand, and he’s running down the hallway, past bewildered administrative staff and everyone else, bursting through the back door and into the truck. His phone chimes with multiple text messages, Price, Johnny, Gaz. All wondering where the hell he ran off to. Only Johnny’s text scratches the surface: Is it your neighbor? He waits another second in silence, hoping you’re trying to get your bearings. “Sweetheart?” 

“I’m… I think we’re coming up on seventh and Warsail. ‘m not too sure. I’ve kind been walking in a roundabout way.” We’re coming up on seventh… we. 

The baby is with you. 

His foot slams the accelerator onto the floor, counting his breaths as he maneuvers each turn in the road. Do you have the stroller? Are you carrying her? Did this guy peg you as an easy target because he knows what Simon knows, that women are more likely to go along with instruction if their child is threatened? That you’d never leave Emmaline behind? That you’d do anything to protect her? 

He feels sick. 

“Are there other people around?” He’s calm on the phone, trying to visualize the street, the buildings, the alleys. Easy spots where cars could reach the highway in seconds, and then be gone. Cramped alleys that connect to others like tangled webs, able to swallow a human being easy, disappear them into the darkness. It makes his stomach turn over. His fingers tighten around the steering wheel so hard; it hurts.

“Yeah, it’s close to the end of the day, so-“ 

“Stay where others can see you. Are you sure you’re on seventh and Warsail?” 

“Yeah. We’re in that park. I-I… wanted to take Emma to see the ducks.” Your voice wavers. “Simon he’s still behind us.” He’s turning the corner now, a block from your cross streets, and instead of yielding for oncoming traffic like he should, he floors it through an intersection, abandoning the truck still on, half parked in an empty street spot.  “Stay where you are, sweetheart. Okay? I’m coming.” 

“You… wait, what? You’re what?” He doesn’t hang up, but keeps the phone against his ear, and takes off down the street in a sprint, fully subscribed to the worst-case scenarios that have been building in his mind, images of you and Emmaline bloody and bruised, or worse. He gets them confused for a moment, memories mixing with the present, two things swirling together until they become indistinguishable, noise and panic roaring too loudly in his head. 

It all comes screeching to a stop. 

He spots you in the park. You do have the stroller, and you’re by the little pond, headphones in, Emmaline in your arms, her little beanie pulled down over her ears. You’re glancing around, nervous, saying his name into the mic. He scans the rest of the faces, passing over anyone who doesn’t strike him as a creepy git, until he finds his target: a skinny, younger guy lurking on the edge of the fence line, watching you. He hangs up the phone and moves across the park involuntarily, rolling his shoulders, and he vaguely sees you from the corner of his eye, mouth dropped open in shock, faintly calling his name. 

“Hey, mate. C’mere.” He shouts, half the people in the vicinity startling in his direction. Everyone seems to move away, like a magnetic force, pulsing outwards as he overtakes the guy with an easy grab to his upper arm. “You like stalking women with babies?” He hisses in his ear, voice low with barely contained rage. The guy is younger than him, but rail thin, and coked out. Probably looking for money. Simon jerks him closer, and he actually yells for help, like he’s a victim. It’s enough to ground the situation, making Simon realize he has an audience, and he grits out a final warning before shoving him away. “I ever see you around my girls again… I’ll fuckin’ kill you. Piss off.” 

“What did he say?” You’re frantic, rubbing Emmaline’s back in a circular pattern, over and over like you’re trying to calm her, even though she’s perfectly content. It’s you who needs soothing, he realizes, and he takes your hand without questioning it, letting his instincts guide him in regard to you without overthinking it. 

“He was high, love. Looking for money.” He doesn’t want to scare you but… he doesn’t despise the idea of instilling some hypervigilance. Maybe this will convince you not to take the train. 

“Oh my god.” 

“Think I scared him off for good though.” He looks around, and then slips off his mask, wide thumb stroking a soft touch on Emma’s cheek before giving you a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright now.” You visibly relax, but don’t let go of his hand, tilting your face up to his, all bright and beautiful, still coming down from the adrenaline of your fear with a whisper on your lips, meant for only him to hear. 

“Our hero.”