#it just isn't one that appeals to ME

[tathrin]

12 for the fic writer asks!

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I'll be honest, I don't tend to think about things in terms of tropes very much (maybe I'm just too old and they weren't being discussed/codified as prevalently when I was first learning how to think about stories; more likely it's just another case of me being bad at Paying Attention To Popular Culture lol). So my brain isn't very good at coming up with types of tropes off-the-cuff.

So I'm going to go slightly off-topic, because I'm struggling to come up with a more topical answer, sorry. (If anyone has a specific trope they want thoughts about, I can answer that! I just need more of a Multiple Choice Test for tropes it turns out haha.)

Instead let's talk about my least favorite type of AU: the modern/non-magical AU. "Ewww, why would you take out all the stuff that makes the setting fun?" I say, already wrinkling my nose and recoiling. (Note that replacing said trappings with alternative ones—e.g. taking a high fantasy society and shunting it into space, or turning an intergalactic faster-than-light galaxy into a steampunk one, or replacing shape-shifting with pirates, etc etc, does not count as "taking out the fun stuff" to me, because you're applying different trappings rather than just a boring default "normal life" setting.) Part of this I'm sure is that I dislike the concept, so I don't read it, so I don't ever see the good ones. I am self-aware enough to realize that at least lol.

However, I recently did poke my nose in on a Modern AU for Lord of the Rings...and LOVED IT. The world building is captivating, because they keep the story in Middle-earth. There are still elves and dwarves and hobbits. Minas Tirith is still there with its seven tiers, it's just also got public transport and smartphones. And seeing how the world of Middle-earth fits into a modern society is every bit as fascinating as it would be to apply it to pirates or space-travelers, and I am finding it absolutely delightful to explore and discover the world building as it trickles-out through stories. (Labels to designate elf-safe meat, what!?) So this AU I love, and highly recommend.

That said I'm still avoiding the tag on AO3 for the most part, because now my problem is that instead of just being bored by the idea as a concept over all, now unless the story has world building to compare to that of @roselightfairy and @deheerkonijn's exquisite Modverse, I'm disappointed by that XD

So I suppose this is one that's grown on me in some ways, and yet remains a no-thanks overall. But that still counts as progress, right? At least now I can recognize the theoretical merit of the concept, even if I still tend not to like it in execution!

[front-facing-pokemon]

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

[gideonisms]

sorry if i'm late! 🔥 Cytherea

Oh now here's something I DO have a controversial opinion about, which is that I do not like her one bit and it's not for the reasons people commonly list! in this series, everyone's committed a few murders and creeped on someone in a necromantic fashion. Those weren't my favorite houses anyway. rip but I didn't have much time to get attached. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone living in pain that long and having to speak to john gaius the whole time--or at least I would, if her personality wasn't specifically calculated to irritate me!!

I even understand her relevance to the plot and themes and theoretically I get the appeal of gideon/ cythere a. But every time she spoke to gideon I found myself vaguely annoyed wishing we could get back to other characters. I simply have a petty hatred that cannot be overcome. omg shut UP about Gideon's biceps. stop batting those eyelashes it looks stupid. "pretend I'm five and explain it to me" GOD could she be trying any harder. couldn't even get a personality of her own had to steal one from poor dulcie and didn't even do it right. cytherea hate club sorry

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

[papa-evershed]

Rob James-Collier as Martin Evershed ✨Dad Bod™ Edition✨

[bookshelfdreams]

.

[toastytrusty]

thinking endlessly about how romans main relationships outside of the family in later seasons are lukas and mencken, and how their dynamics with rome foil each other both narratively and in-universe. lukas represents them selling waystar, represents emotional vulnerability, represents freedom. mencken, on the other hand, represents them keeping the company, represents the toxic façade of who you Need to be, represents remaining trapped. the way romes emotions fuel the contrasting dynamics between them is endlessly fascinating

lukas, upon his second time meeting rome, immediately continuously attempts to talk abt deep kinda personal/emotional stuff, which rome shut down because he's afraid of self expression, even though deep down he craves connection. this probably scares him, so, especially after logan's death and lukas' reaction to it (on one hand being a dick and not pushing back the meeting, on the other hand trying in his own autistic way to connect and empathize with their loss, as well as being real about how awful logan was), roman distances himself. he feels pushed to the edge of his sanity and reverts to what comes most naturally to him, you guessed it, eeeemotion. he freaks out at lukas on the cliff, in his head burning any bridge built between them, which tbf he pretty much does. but to lukas, this is almost like a win for him. he's been trying to encourage roman to open up to him since they met, and he finally did! so the $5 price bump is almost like a congratualtions or a reward, as well as a spiteful fuck you. narratively it takes them one step closer to selling the company, roman's emotion being what puts him there, and in this case it's being appreciated. really, rome wants out of the company; he wants to sell and he wants to be free of it and all the pressure and expectation that comes with it.

whereas mencken was always very business-focused with roman; joking and laughing in a detached, not very real way. his focus was always succeeding and going far and not really caring how he got there, and i think that's part of why roman liked him. there was no expectation to be genuine or actually connect; he could just put on his brave face and do what they felt needed to be done. when he pushed lukas away because things got too real, he continued seeking out mencken because mencken was easy to appeal to in that way he so often does; changing himself to suit there needs. he puts mencken over everything else that mattered in his life (relationships with his family members mainly he doesn't gaf about The Economy) because he didn't have to be real with mencken. it was all just the blind pursuit for power he didn't really want and a security he felt more threatened by than anything, because he got too far in and set his sights on something (or more accurately kendall set his sights on something, and who was rome to protest?) and had to acheive it. so when the façade breaks, and mencken sees him for the first time not as the charming, witty, businessman, but as the damaged person who just wasn't built for the world, he walks away, no longer looking to protect waystar, or roman. love and sensitivity and emotion are all weaknesses to mencken, weakness he had previously not seen in roman, but now that he had it was too late. rome couldn't pretend forever and mencken bailed, handing waystar (and roman!! becase their ties to waystar are through roman!!) back to lukas and the gojo deal on a silver platter.

this inadvertantly pushes roman back towards freedom, and, in a way, back towards lukas. he told mr emotions to fuck off and ran away to be his self absorbed emotionless husk with someone who wanted nothing more from him, but that didn't work out too well. he can't stay in the cage that is waystar, he can't spend all of his time being someone he's not; it's exhausting. lukas represents his ability to acheive freedom from the toxic environment of waystar, as well as the fact that he will eventually have to confront reality, and mencken represents his unhealthy, and ultimately doomed to fail, coping mechanisms and avoidance behavior. when he tries to twist his perspective of the people around him to make them seem like good people (logan, MENCKEN), lukas shuts it down (at least with logan; i don't think the two of them ever talk abt mencken) and makes rome confront the fact that they aren't, and when rome is so deep into being someone he isn't, lukas encourages him to be himself, whereas mencken condemns him for it

[terrainofheartfelt]

is it because i'm getting older and gayer or is there really a surge of self-help books happening around me? and am i a curmudgeon to say that they're bullshit?

[worstloki]

prize for least genre aware protagonist 👑

[optiwashere]

I think the hair change only happens if you ask Shadowheart to undress first. (If you need to take screenshot or smth) That said I hope that bug gets fixed in the next patch.

Actually there is just so many Shadowheart stuff that is bugged or otherwise unavailable in the game that if Larian suddenly decided to care about that it would make the rest of the fandom complain about her getting so much content.

Oh, that's interesting, thanks for the heads-up! 💜 I just happened to be playing through that bit on my lunch break. But that's good to know in case I make any characters that wouldn't make her undress first (likelihood: deeply low, I am who I am)

I've heard there's a couple bugs with Shadowheart—complete hearsay that if you play a Selûnite, one unique kiss doesn't trigger?—and the supposedly recently added "Act 2 banter" when romancing her has literally never triggered for me either. Dunno what else is bugged, but it's unfortunate either way. I hope it all eventually gets fixed, though.

Tbh, I think there's other companions that need more/fleshed out stuff (especially Wyll, give the man a fuller sex scene and let him address the PC differently during a romance...) but I take most of the people getting really worked up about other characters getting "more" than their faves with a grain of salt. There's far too often some level of misunderstanding going on, like when people thought that the Valentine's Update was only about kisses.

[romance-rambles]

so, in the voiceline, ayn says "nee-san" and the marius von hagen stan in me just doubled over from the unexpected attack

i wonder if he says "jiejie" in cn voiceover...

[wellhalesbells]

i desperately need to know what "troll the respawn jeremy" is and also hi i love you and everything you've written 🤍 (i regularly go reread the classics because they make me Feel Things)

Okay, so, "Troll the Respawn, Jeremy," is 1) a quote from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and b) the fic I've been trying to finish in time for Halloween for like.... years now. I cleverly only remember it exists in September, add a few thousand words, subtract about a thousand even, and then inevitably fail to finish in time. It's a great system, like, absolutely no notes on that, obviously. You're killing it, brain!

I'm honestly not sure how the thought originated in my head now but I do know the prompt for it was nothing more than 'zombie!Stiles' essentially. Stiles dies and the gang brings him back and he's... not quite right. The memories are there but his emotions aren't so he's rebuilding relationships, morality, and the everyday in this new framework where the only thing to stop him being awful is essentially if it's more work or not.

When it's not dark humor, it's actively silly. There's a lot of Stiles building bonds with Erica, Boyd, and Isaac, since he wasn't very close to them before he died meaning they have the least expectations for how he should be behaving. It's a lot of Pack, figuring out how his relationship with Scott is going to evolve and Jackson coming back and Peter's curiosity naturally being piqued by this less self-righteous version of Stiles and he and Stiles and Boyd watching soap operas together because of course they would.

It's a fun one and a humorous one, even with Derek pining in the background and Stiles having to decide what his emotional responsibility for this person is and if he should be the one to police his choices or not. Because, well, there has to be twisted psychology in there, right? It's a resurrection fic, dammit!

It's also a lot of making Derek do the work too, which I like - especially when I have a good reason for it, because Stiles is all path of least resistance, so these people want him, care for him, would like him around and so he would like to be around and preferably in a way where no one's commenting on his behavior so everyone's trying to help him build boundaries, want the right things, do the appropriate action, etc. So Derek's figuring out in real time what Stiles' motivations are and learning to work within them and having exchanges like:

D: "We can’t keep fucking if I die.”

S: “Unless I bring you back.  You might be more fun that way.  Less with the frowny face probably.”

D: “Sounds like a lot of work for you.”

Same kind of thing with making monogamy something Stiles might want by framing it in a way that's appealing specifically to him. It's interrogating in a lot of ways what's necessary to make a relationship work. My little ace brain has questions and this is the only way I know to get answers, okay, LOL

Snippet(s):

“You gonna get all deep and philosophical on me?” The church is a tiny one and Stiles had only ducked inside to avoid, well, everyone.  He hadn’t expected Boyd would follow.  Truthfully, he doesn’t expect a lot of what Boyd does.  He hadn’t thought about him much before he died and even less after. Follow he does though, settles into the pew ahead of and at a diagonal angle to him.  Feet up on the wood next to him, arm stretched out over the back so he’s facing Stiles rather than the front.  Like he’s expecting Stiles to offer the sermon tonight. Stiles blinks at him.  “No, I don’t think so,” he says, when it dawns on him: “Should I?”  He doesn’t know a lot about being dead, having only done it for a short time, but if he’s meant to start spewing revelations, or even Revelations, he’s willing to give it a try. “I’d prefer you didn’t,” Boyd says in his lazy tone of voice that seems indifferent to most everything around him.  Stiles likes that; it sounds like he feels.  “What are you doing here then?” “Isaac was around here.”  It’s close to where he works, this little abandoned site of holy ground.  And Stiles had kind of wanted to see if he’d taken on any vampiric dead-guy traits and couldn’t cross the threshold.  He doesn’t know what the new rules are, and is starting to suspect there aren’t any.  Which is about the most horrible thing he can think of.  “Then his boss called, and he wasn’t, and I was bored.  What are you doing here?” “Keeping an eye out.”  The way Boyd says it, it sounds like, ‘figuring out how many things are wrong with you.’ “Think I’ll start eating brains?”  Stiles is genuinely curious as to what the theories are.  Wants to see if any match up to his own. Boyd shrugs.  “Do you want to?”  He sounds genuinely curious too. Stiles shrugs back.  “I don’t have any moral qualms about it.  But it seems like a lot of work and there’s just pretty much no way they’re as good as Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, right?  It’s a bone-saw and blood and innards versus opening a plastic bag.”  He weighs them in his hands.  “That’s not even a hard decision to make.  If I am a zombie, which I’m not conceding by the way, then I’m a zombie with some serious dietary deficiencies.  I require processed foods, stat.”  Boyd seems to consider this, then decides, “Cheetos would be good.”  After a second, he adds, “I have Runts in my pocket.” Stiles jumps over the back of Boyd’s pew and lands hard near him, says, “Then break ‘em the fuck out, man.”  Stiles steals all the banana pieces spread out on the bench between them, and relinquishes the cherry ones as penance. They don’t talk.  It’s not half-bad.

(Angstier) Snippet #2:

“You’re not you,” Derek says gruffly, not meeting Stiles’ eyes when Stiles lowers his head and looks at him straight on.  Derek and Stiles’ dad, they just can’t ever seem to get there.  Derek says it like he thinks this is why Stiles is here and wants it out of the way.  So Stiles won’t be here any longer.

“Not entirely,” Stiles agrees, tapping his fingers along the counter, the island a buffer between them.  “But the basics are all there, I’m just having a hard time accessing my,” he does a half-assed robot dance, “bleep-blorp-beep morality center.  I kind of think maybe because it just doesn’t exist anymore?”  He grins widely.  “Fucking cool, right?”

Derek stares at Stiles’ adam’s apple, glassy-eyed and blank, says without inflection, “What.”

Stiles slides into the stool at the counter enthusiastically and talks as much with his hands as with his mouth.  “I mean, okay, there’s action and consequence, right?  And arguably the biggest action and consequence: life and death, I defied it and now it’s like, I don’t know, I can’t appreciate that there are consequences.”  He rubs a hand over his buzzed hair, back and forth, back and forth, jolting himself back into the present moment with the spiky side, losing himself in his head when he’s not fighting its natural direction and his hand hydroplanes smoothly over it.  “I just don’t feel things the way I used to and that’s my best guess for why.”

It’s better than his second-best guess: that there’s still a part of him that’s dead, that the only part that ever gave a shit about any of these death-prone people/supernatural whoosie-whatsits didn’t come back with him.

Derek stares down into the depths of his cup, asks it, “Why are you hanging around Isaac?”

Stiles shrugs, staring more intently at Derek the longer Derek avoids his gaze.  He can see Derek’s pulse thudding in his throat, fluttering like it’s trying to escape confinement entirely.  There’s a heaviness to him that Stiles doesn’t think has anything to do with the sleep that’s still clinging to him.  He looks like the weight between his hands, cradling his mug, is as draining as holding up a bowling ball with just his pinky fingers.  “I’m fixing him,” Stiles answers succinctly.

Derek raises an eyebrow.  “Why?”

Stiles shrugs some more.  His gaze drifts down to the folds of the tank top over Derek’s stomach, he wants to flatten his palm there, smooth it out.  Derek looks so warm and defenseless, leaning against his counter, barefoot and weary, defeated and just waiting for someone to finish him off.  “Something to do.  Plus,” Stiles adds, sly and low, “I fix him, I know how to break him.”

“You want to… break him.”  It’s not a question, more like a naked declaration that wishes it were uncertain in the least.  Derek’s eyes are downcast and sad.

Stiles sighs, places his elbow on the counter, drops his chin into his hand and stares at the stubble on Derek’s cheeks, can practically feel the rasp of it against his mouth.  “I don’t know.  Something to do.”  He’s really not malicious, he doesn’t think, just easily bored and inherently curious about how other people work.  Since he doesn’t seem to.

Derek drops his chin against his neck and Stiles watches a slow breath move the weight of him.  He doesn’t ask for anything else, has no more comments to make, almost seems to be rejecting Stiles’ presence simply by virtue of ignoring it.

Stiles stares down at the island, lifts up his other hand.  It hasn’t left behind an outline of perspiration.  He rubs his dry fingers against a dry palm.  Stiles’ hands sweat; they’ve always sweat.

They don’t now.  Now.  Now everything is scorching, burning up sweat and tears before they can even make an appearance on his skin.

He lets out a gusty breath and says quietly, but without judgment, “You shouldn’t have done this.”

Derek’s eyes close, rim of the cup against his lip, expression pained.   “It was my turn,” he says softly into the steam.  Stiles watches him and Derek’s head drifts to the side before he wrenches it back, jaw tight, looking in Stiles’ direction but down at his chest now, where the scar tissue is resting under the cotton of his t-shirt.  “To save you.”

“But you didn’t,” Stiles tells him blankly, but not meanly.

Anyone watching would’ve thought it was an upper-cut though, the way Derek’s whole body rocks with the impact.  His eyes are closed again and he doesn’t look inclined to open them, not while Stiles is still there.  His hand slowly curls around the lip of the counter behind him, holds on tightly.  He still answers though, through some weird sense of debt or something else Stiles doesn’t understand, but he answers, says, “I know.”

Wip list is here!

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

Milgram fic idea: the prisoners are bored (as they always are) and they've already celebrated every holiday imaginable. So someone suggests doing a cross-dressing event for a change. Mahiru, Mikoto and Muu help everyone find the perfect fit (Mahiru sews half the clothes herself to make it look perfect).

A bunch of gender crisis ensue.

[citnamora]

Me: I'm non partnering. Agamous. Single pringle life for good. Nope, no partnerships here. It's just me, myself, and I, baby!

Queerplatonic Relationship: *exists*

Me: Oh. Uh..

Wavership: *exists*

Me: Ngnnggh..!

Appromour: *exists*

Me: HGGHGH.

Delamour: *exists*

Me: HRGHHHRHG.

Soft Romo: *exists*

Me: SHIT. I GUESS IT SOUNDS NICE.

[alienescence]

Recently discovered that there are people that ship dbhks ONLY within fanon, which is so wild to me because I personally think that so much of their appeal is within their canon!