#it just so happens 90% of the art i have of him he looks angry

[pinata-candy]

More old art of them <3

[thealogie]

i am so so curious to know what your thoughts on all of us strangers are! i went in really excited and left violently angry (but also have a lot of experiences that are too close to the content of the movie to have enjoyed it, looking back on it). if you loved it, i would love to know why, bc i respect your media opinions & would like to perhaps be wrong about my reaction lol

I really loved it, but I don’t think you’re wrong in your reaction. I think sometimes we have to interrogate if our negative feelings towards art are informed by sexism/racism/other prejudice but other than that, other than knee jerk biased reactions I don’t think our emotional response to art can ever be wrong. There are plenty of well constructed movies that just aren’t for me.

In any case, to me all of us strangers was such a beautiful and cathartic story. We meet Adam and he is so stunted and held back by his parents’ death and tbh by growing up gay in the 80s/90s. He misses that first moment of connection with Harry and for the rest of the movie he’s healing his child self through getting to visit with his dead parents, which then allows him to heal his adult self through this relationship with Harry. And that’s the journey to me.

So yes there’s a twist and they don’t get to be together but for me it’s all about that exchange “why did no one find me?” “I found you. I found you.” Adam goes from being the one who relies on Harry to take care of him to being the carer, to being able to laugh and smile despite what’s happened and offer Harry comfort and love. I feel like we leave the movie absolutely certain that Adam is now a person that is able to be open and find love and that Harry got to be truly loved and the center of someone’s universe before he left this world.

Like it’s truly a movie that uses magical realism to let its main character live out not one but two missed opportunities. And then it says, you can change someone’s life through intimacy even if you aren’t together forever. You can fundamentally change and save someone even if it’s sad, even if it’s not a traditionally “happy” ending. Also only gay people get to have this straight people wouldn’t understand

[theshadowsingersraven]

this nyxlin drama lowkey reminds me of the time a zutara artist was run off tumblr because they drew aged up katara/zuko romantically, but I think it was actually angry kataang’s or e/riel’s -because they also drew gwynriel and e/riel’s were jealous- who were stirring up shit 😭

That would honestly make a lot of sense for how/why I didn't see many posts from them or overall in the Nyxlin tag when I was catching up on what happened. Pretty much every person (notably largely Elriels) who supported Elain Week's censorship got an insta-block from me if they weren't already. And I'm sure a decent amount of people blocked me from my stance on Elaingate, Rhys Week, and Nyxlin Week.

And good! You should block me. Seriously. Art has the right to be celebrated and appreciated, especially in the circumstances designed to do that for a specific character and dynamic! Character appreciation and celebration will never look the same to everyone, and just because it's not what you enjoy doesn't mean it stops being appreciative or celebratory. If you can't grasp that, you don't deserve access to my art anyway. You certainly don't deserve to be in my space, that's for damn sure. Kindly, get out.

Honestly, it kind of makes sense considering the overlap of canon rigidity, purity culture, and morality policing of fiction coming from sides of the fandom that generally can't accept criticism about their faves, or even things that go against what they want for their faves. They are terrified of creativity that doesn't give them what they want and it shows. It's the most Evangelical-ass shit ever, and it's fucking weird.

Like...for all intents and purposes, Nyx is an OC in any works that feature him. And I'd know, because I wrote an adult Nyx for my ongoing ACOTAR D&D campaign set 20 years after ACOSF. So yes, Nyx is twenty in my timeline, because it's writing and I can do what I want lol. I have no basis to write Nyx off of other than Rhys and Feyre. Which means...I'm still doing my own character-building to only less than I would for a completely new OC.

Let's compare, shall we?

Writing my OC Solara's backstory: Writing her parents from scratch ✔️ Writing her early childhood ✔️ Writing her trauma ✔️ Writing her adolescence and relationships ✔️ Writing her interests and adventures as she became an adult✔️ Writing her dynamic with her love interest and how she interacts with Prythian as a whole ✔️

Now obviously these are all at minimum influenced by/will be derivative of aspects of ACOTAR because, y'know, transformative works. But still, I made her.

Writing Nyx's backstory and how he is as a twenty-year-old adult: Writing his parents from scratch ❌ Writing his early childhood ✔️ Writing any trauma he might have ✔️ Writing his adolescence and relationships ✔️ Writing his interests and adventures as he became an adult ✔️ Writing his dynamic (collaboratively) with his love interest and how he interacts with Prythian as a whole ✔️

And this is a version of Nyx that I made. Yes, it's still influenced by canon, but if I put in 90% of the same effort to write him as an adult as I did a complete OC, we can acknowledge they're functionally the same.

It's not that people look at Baby!Nyx and instantly think he's perfect to be shipped with someone and there's something to be gleaned from canon about him in particular. We know nothing about Nyx as an individual. That applies to any Nyx ship.

The appeal, at least in my experience, to Nyx ships, including Nyxlin, is the dynamics at play around Nyx, i.e., his role as an eventual leader and powerful figure in the Night Court, the dynamics that affect Rhys and Feyre also extending to him, how the rest of Prythian/Illyria might view the first offspring of High Fae, Illyrian, and Made parents. It's about his circumstances, not him as a character because he is not a "character yet", he just exists!

People are just creative enough to consider those long-term effects on who he could become and how that interplays with other characters. I don't mean to be cruel, but genuinely, have these people never created an OC before? Have they never shipped anything outside of canon? Have they never read any fics featuring time travel, for example, as a plot point to get characters in the same era at the same time when otherwise the ship would not be able to happen? Are they that unfamiliar with making circumstances outside of SJM's canon to allow things to happen for fun?

Genuinely, the lack of creativity for all of us being in this for reading and writing is concerning.

Even just saying this and advocating for Nyxlin's right to be celebrated as well as Tamlin as a whole pretty much puts me in the position of having to tag this as pro-Tamlin. And I wouldn't even describe myself as anything other than Pro-Azriel and probably Pro-Nesta and Pro-Elain because I don't really dislike any characters. I'm equally as critical to all of them and if their good parts just sort of cancel out the bad or are only a bit outweighing one or the other...I don't actively dislike them, I'm just neutral about them.

But this fandom is so fucking polarized because of the toxicity and the Us v.s. Them, Morality Policing culture that's been festering, people can't even neutrally address something. People are harassed so quickly just for not understanding or being familiar with something, and then in the other court people do the harassing because they don't understand or aren't familiar with something the other party likes/dislikes. If don't utterly despise Tamlin, it's somehow considered supportive enough to qualify as "pro" to antis.

Too many people in this fanbase create this parasocial-adjacent attachment to these characters like they're real and have real feelings/boundaries that need to be protected. They are not! Characters can't be hurt by anything happening outside the narrative. Just because you personally do not like something/don't find it appealing or even find it discomforting does not mean it's morally objectionable. It's just not for you, and understanding that experiencing content not made for you is not an attack on you is kind of a necessary life skill.

This rant ended up way longer than I expected it to be, but anyway...y'all stay safe out there.

[fumifooms]

Howl’s moving castle dunmeshi AU

I’ve cracked the code I know why I love Marcille x Chilchuck so much. They’re literally just like Howl’s Moving Castle Howl and Sophie. Okok indulge me for a sec I’m about to dump so many pics and ramble for a bit. I want you to see my marchil vision. It’s fabulous extra cringefail hopeless romantic drama queen x grumpy old sad angry caring hardworking person cursed to be here & cursing fate and giving tough love to everything in a miles radius. No one is safe. From either of them. Calcifer or Micheal is Izutsumi. Wait wait no Calcifer is Senshi and Michael is Izutsumi. Senshi as Calcifer works bc Calcifer is just chained to Howl and is there reminding Howl to not die and take care of himself, giving hints about how to break the curse to Sophie, also the fire demon cooks the eggs and bacon checkmate. And then LAIOS IS TURNIP HEAD OH MY GOD THAT WORKS OUT PERFECTLY. Chilchuck & Marcille, screaming terrified of the weird scarecrow chasing after them, meanwhile the weird scarecrow that’s harmless: :(. Wizard Suliman is Falin and the second fire demon is Winged Lion, so bam everything comes full circle.

I’m assuming most people who’ll see this post maybe saw the movie but not the book, and what you need to know is that the movie makes Howl so much dreamier and collected and cool, whereas in the book he’s just a drama queen 24/7 that’s it. He’s a wet cat dressed in expensive sparkly glittery gowns that needs to be yelled at to do anything he needs to do. He complains. He bemoans. Meanwhile Sophie is, honestly pretty like in the movie? Less contrarian and anger issues but will grumble and yells while cleaning nonetheless. Hardworking but will pathetically sit down on a chair in a dark corner to cry about her aching bones and OHH this is ALL because she’s the eldest child and she was doomed for unhappiness and no one can ever love her… So she’ll whack everyone into order and purge her feelings through aggressive cleaning and using weed killer. IS THIS NOT GIVING MARCILLE & CHIL TO YOU?!

There’s this funny widespread take from the fandom:

And it couldn’t be more true in a marchil context either. Like come on. For all of this post just swap the names of Howl for Marcille and Sophie for Chilchuck.

(Last one with the art by Cookiekappa on Tumblr)

Tell me this isn’t so Marcille. Tell me Chil wouldn’t run away from home thinking he’s failed life and is no longer in shape to work and now has to waddle in self-pity, seeking out wizards which he hates and finds shady bc it’s his last option, and then end up a maid & cleans everything out of spite and also worry for the person living there. Tell me Marcille wouldn’t throw a depressed slime tantrum so bad that it causes a partial town evacuation because her wails summon unknown horrors, over her HAIR. Forget slime she’d blow up the house instantly. She would breakdance as refusal to go see the king. Chilchuck would call her a slitherer-outer and she would gasp in offense and they’d have a fight.

Marcille having full on poems laying around and then Chil & Izu seeing them and being like "Ah yes, this must be a spell, it makes no sense and is so extra, just like how silly our resident witch and her magic is". Izutsumi going "Okay peepaw I’ll teach you how to use a magical bucket just take one step forward-" and they immediately fuck it up and they’re left stranded in far unknown lands. Chilchuck complaining that HIS BACK HURTS. And at every turn or something mildly inconveniencing him "NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO THE MIDDLE CHILD".

And can we talk about the aging motif, the curse… Marcille never letting herself grow close to someone even though she does all these grand gestures for them at first. Meanwhile her fear of loss stares at her straight in the eye whenever she looks at 90 years old Chilchuck, and her deciding to not run away from their relationship is what ends up healing both of them. She gets over her fear of intimacy and he grows over feeling like a terribly dull unlovable failure. Me sobbing when I remember how Sophie’s curse of being old is a self-inflicted manifestation of herself thinking she’s romantically unlovable and weak…….

This is it for now but rest assured that I want to make art of this, have these memes for now

[summerstrash]

having complex feelings about the x-factor 2024 announcement.

pros:

Pyro and Frenzy are there. Be Gay Do Crimes Twink + The Giant Woman I Always Want To See = Good Shit.

The guy who's writing this book is well-known for his one-shot rewriting the Hanna-Barbera character Snagglepuss as a mid-century homosexual playwright. Considering that Pyro is here, this is promising.

Alex is no longer wearing the classic costume, which reduces the chances of him being forced into the Goblin Gown significantly, forcing his arc to rely less on his sexual objectification.

The solicit seems to imply that social media will act as either a framing device or a plot point, which I like the sound of.

Alex and Frenzy serving on a team together rockets her to the #1 spot on the list of Potential Alex Summers Sex Mistakes, since she's a slightly bitter Scott ex with BDSM inclinations.

My longtime Twitter mutual Gail Simone called it a gem of the line, and I'm inclined to trust her judgment on many things.

The writer specifically namedrops Alex and Frenzy as characters he's excited to write, which implies they'll see at least some focus.

The artist is Bob Quinn, a guy I quite like and who sent me free art once for my birthday when Knights of X was delayed.

As someone who hasn't read much X-Factor from the 90s due to my ongoing feud with a particular writer from that era (iykyk), I'm kind of looking forward to seeing what X-Factor as a government team is like, as opposed to X-Factor as an investigating body.

cons:

Alex in a leadership role is never a good sign. Bad things happen to Alex when he leads.

Not a huge fan of the fact that the current known roster includes three white guys and two WOC, with one of the WOC also being a visible mutant who has fur instead of human skin, and the other being a medium-to-dark-skinned black woman famous for being buff and angry, and the three white guys are all blondes, ranging from "dumpster twink" to "hunk"

Alex working for the U.S. government feels like a microagression against me personally, as I've been very vocal about thinking that Alex needs to finally come to terms with the fact that clinging to mainstream institutions and dominant social groups will only ever hurt him, and I was hoping the Hellions or Limbo could be that for him in the Krakoan Era

The marketing seems to imply a different tone and genre from the domestic/workplace horror-comedies Alex has been part of for the last five years, and I don't know how I feel about that yet.

Greg Land is doing the covers, and I hate that for me.

"Who will die?" Of the characters we have announced so far, Alex is the most expendable. He's one of three blond white guys, and while Warren seems to be taking center stage as the Face Of The Team, and St.John's movie counterpart is returning to theaters this summer in Deadpool & Wolverine, so I doubt they'd kill him off in comics at the moment, Alex feels kind of superfluous as a co-leader, and he also is just...less loved, I think.

"Who will fall in love?" Again, worried for Alex because one of his, like, three recurring stories is "gets picked up by the scruff of his neck by a girl way out of his league so she can use him to self-actualize while playing at transgressive forms of heterosexuality." We don't really have similar core recurring storylines for other announced characters.

"Who will be the first to sell out?" Honestly I feel like St.John might be the answer to this question. He's a novelist. Novelists have egos. He's worked for the U.S. government before, under Mystique. And I guess this kind of makes me sad.

The fact that the whole cast hasn't been announced yet fills me with fear that Lorna will be in this, mostly because a fair chunk of FTA seems to be focused on catering to nostalgia on some level, and Alex/Lorna is very 90s. And frankly Dr. Dane should be doing better for herself than the man that left her at the altar for a gay man's girlfriend.

So yeah, I have complex emotions about all of this and will be watching with a fair amount of suspicion as we draw closer to the release date.

[maryversusthemovies]

Steve Albini

This is going in the Mary Vs. the Movies newsletter, but I wanted to post it here too:

Steve Albini passed away yesterday.

When I was young, I religiously read critics. I didn’t know most of their names, but I would read as many album and film reviews as I could, whether Rolling Stone and Spin or the Philadelphia Inquirer at my junior high library, or whatever magazines or alt weeklies I could get my hands on at Zerns’ Farmers’ Market. I saw critics as they wanted to be seen—as guides, as teachers who would tell me what was good and what should be avoided. (I avoided Teenage Fanclub’s Bandwagonesque for years because Rolling Stone only gave it two stars—this should’ve been my first clue, I get angry just thinking about it).

So when Nirvana’s In Utero came out, the critical response, as far as I experienced it at the time, was “this is unlistenable noise, and it’s all Steve Albini’s fault.” Now, I didn’t know who he was, but I loved Nirvana. In our review for Over the Edge I mention the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video, and I don’t think I can overplay just what a liberation it was to see a band destroy a school when I was twelve. For this and other reasons, Nirvana was very important to me, and I was deliriously excited for a new Nirvana album. And here people were saying “this is garbage”. Well, I thought, how bad could it be? “Heart Shaped Box” sounds good, right?

I couldn’t understand what the critics were talking about—this sounded great. It didn’t have that shiny ‘90s Butch Vig sound, sure, but it wasn’t unlistenable. (By now I had found The Velvet Underground & Nico, so at least “European Son” had prepared me for what noise rock might be.) If anything, I realized I loved In Utero more than Nevermind because of the noise. It was an early lesson in not blindly listening to critics over my own gut. 

Now, here I am, more than thirty years later, a (kind of) film critic. I’m not saying don’t listen to critics—I still read them, still look for insights. But I definitely don’t prioritize them over my own reaction to a work of art itself. And realizing that the critics can be wrong because they didn’t like how Albini recorded this album, it was a huge lesson for me, long before college or anything tried to teach me critical thinking.

Anyway, after that, I found out Albini had a hand in so much music that I loved—the Pixies and Breeders, Superchunk, P.J. Harvey. And that’s just when I was 14, I’d since gone on and gotten into everything from Silkworm to the Wedding Present to Joanna Newsom to Low. He was the first engineer—I won’t call him a producer, I promise—whose work I actually cared about. (Sure, later I would find out about Phil Spector, but my god if he isn’t the anti-Albini, so the less said the better.) And I know this isn’t even touching his own music with Big Black or Shellac.

When Dennis and I first started going out, he brought up Albini’s article “The Problem with Music”, specifically talking about how the industry squeezes and gaslights artists, waving thousands of dollars in front of them and whittling away at the pile until the band is left with essentially nothing. It informed the way we both kick against being tied down to any kind of boss, at least when it comes to any creative output we make. Even if someone came to us tomorrow and said they wanted to sign us to their podcast network (a thing that won’t happen anyway, given how the media bubble has burst), or sign Deth Elf, my gut reaction would be “no”—we’ll always be small, and we’ll never be professionals, but we’re doing what we do because we love it, and we want control over it. And maybe that’s shooting ourselves in the foot, but at least it has a kind of honesty.

I know people who knew him, and I can’t imagine the loss their feeling right now. I’m just someone who listens to the radio a lot. But my god, my life would be so much poorer if he hadn’t been there shaping music for the last forty years.

[brokenhardies]

"what are best friends for?" + madoka?

bit of a cute, sad madoka and akira and yuuki fic <3

The phrase ‘I Am Thou, Thou Art I’ made up Akira’s brain patterns whenever he made a new friend. Confidant, Igor encouraged him to call them. He wasn’t sure how these people were important to his rehabilitation - a lot of them were just people who needed his help, and he was quite happy about that. Then… He met Madoka Mishina. 

Madoka was several things, an enthusiastic hot mess of a rockstar with an inferiority complex and a desire to live up to her father. She was overprotective of her brother and surprisingly violent in the Metaverse and well-spoken for an aggressive teenager who was - at least, if Mishina could be believed - failing English. 

They’d decided to go to the Jazz Club in Kichijoji one evening, and Akira wasn’t sure why… And then he saw Madoka pass her phone to him. He saw text messages between her and Mishina, about changing the heart of a bully named Akiyama, and Akira was getting flashbacks to when he and Ann talked about Kamoshida in the Big Bang Burger on Central Street. Madoka seemed more timid than normal, holding herself tightly.

“I…” She sighed, looking away, “I understand if this sounds selfish… Or not what we should be doing but… I’m scared.”

Akira raised a brow. “Why are you scared?”

“Ever since we started getting bigger,” Madoka explained, “Yuuki’s… Gone a bit over the edge. He’s become more aggressive. He hasn’t been talking to me, or Dad, unless it’s about Phantom Thieves stuff… Or the Phansite. Potential targets, it’s become 90% of his dialogue. And he’s just…”

She sighed. “He’s so upset, at everything. Everytime something bad happens, he thinks that he can ‘change’ it. He thinks that because… He has the Phansite, he has the power to tip us one way or the other. It… It isn’t my brother. I know it’s not my brother. And…”

She took a deep breath in, clearly unsure of what to say next. Akira watched as she fiddled with her hair, tapping her right hand on the table like she was beating out a drumbeat. 

“I’m scared I was responsible for this,” She frowned, “Like… If I hadn’t been so focused on school and music and you guys, if I’d have helped with Kamoshida or Akiyama or something…”

“It isn’t your fault, Madoka.” Akira responded. “Just ‘cause you had other things to worry about doesn’t mean that your brother going off the deep end is your fault.”

“I checked, he has a Shadow…” Madoka frowned, gripping the underside of the table. “It’s in Mementos, but I’m terrified he’s gonna do something reckles…”

She looked up. “Look, I understand it’s supposed to be a unanimous decision, but I want to save him.” 

Akira smiled. “Of course, what are best friends for?”

When they all met Yuuki in Mementos, he asked Joker and Luna to stay behind. Luna removed her mask and apologised to him, with tears in her eyes. She wanted to tell him but she couldn’t. Yuuki was angry, and frustrated that she didn’t tell him, and it was clear that he wasn’t going to listen to her apologies, but Joker said that it was up to Yuuki to make the choice. He left the two siblings alone, and Luna hugged him.

“What?” His Shadow shouted, “Why are you staying behind? What do you gain from this? Just making me feel small like you always do?”

“I love you, Yuuki.” Luna said, “And I hate to see you like this. You’re going too far, and I’m sorry I couldn’t help you… I’m so sorry.”

Tears began to swell and well up, but Yuuki paused, letting his sister hold him tightly as she comforted him. They let go, and she gave him a light kiss on the forehead.

“I’ll be back when you make the right decision.” She smiled weakly, “I know you would.”

And she left to join the rest of the team, with Joker patting her on the shoulder.

Aeon Rank 8

[chevvy-yates]

[PL_RES]_27022048-WCS steyr_v_portraits_016_1_2068.file ///core:_vijay_steyr.file\\\

—

⚠️ READ: Please do not repost/reupload any of my art here or to any other platform, or I will be forced to do anything to get it annihilated.

—

Something important I have to add:

I've read it a lot of times over the past few months now and I just wanna add my thoughts concerning this.

I know you guys always mean it in a cute and nice way, and I'm not angry about it but I just wanna tell you that Vijay was never an emo boy.

I get why you say it, believe me! It's just— I think this term could present him in a false light — after all the emo scene, thanks to mainstream media, often sadly used to be shown in a negative light (I don't think I have to extend this any further). I was a teen myself when this scene slowly emerged outta nowhere. People used to call me a satanist before they changed over to call me emo instead — just because I like to wear black(?), and have a more fancy looking hair style(?) and guess what? I was none of the two. Never. I am just me. Wanna pigeon-hole me, go with Visual Kei instead, that fits me the most.

But I'm trailing off and it's about my ginger boy: So is Vijay — just Vijay! Ofc, he may feel certain things more deeply as a Picses born, but it has nothing to do with his looks, a certain subculture youth scene nor said music genre with very emotional lyrics he may find a bit of himself in or not. Vijay sees every music genre he likes to listen to as ‘emotional’ because it moves something deep inside him, otherwise he wouldn't listen to it if it didn't and his taste for music reaches from 80s, 90s to Rock and Nu Metal, over to Pop and Rap and back again to Industrial and even Techno.

When I look at his 2065-68 self, I see his 'rowdy phase' instead and I would like others see it like this as well — be a bit punky, do some anarchy, do even something bad: vandalism, steal something, hack the systems, blow up cars, blow up people (yes) — not some emo fashion style and tbh, I don’t even see in his style I chose for him any style that can be assigned to some emo looks. It’s more punk-ish to me — if at all, if I had to define this with a certain style. But emo? srsly. google emo boy and compare it with my vp of 2068 Vijay – there's literally no conformity.

I assume, somehow he may appear to most people looking at him as a sad boy, especially with that past look, but that's more because he sorta looks detached (you can notice this state of him in all his years), he spends a lot of time in his head thinking, so facial expressions tend to slip. Of course, he may be sad at times, everyone is but he's a very optimistic guy, always looking towards the future and rarely back. He's the one who gives the prep talks and wants to help others. Yes, he had a sad childhood and yes, it was sad that his parents didn't care much about him, but guess what? He has put that behind himself. He dealt with it and looks forward, he doesn't need them. His friends are his family. He doesn't live in the past. If you continue to live in the past you'll never feel good and make your life better. The only real problem he has, has to do with a certain incident and bad things he did in the past he needs to face and finally talk with someone about it (because he never did), and that’s it.

I hope you understand what I wanted to say, it’s not easy for me to express and I hope I didn’t tackle anyone with that now. I just wanna say: Call Vijay sunshine boy, call him cutie, call him cinnamon roll, sweet ginger, jelly bean or whatever you can think of but please stop calling him emo boy.

Vijay is very, very dear to me — and so is Ryder too and same goes for him as well. If you wanna pidgeon-hole him: Raver boy is the right word to use. He even calles himself a Raver because he sees himself as a part of the scene (Vijay on the opposite does not see himself in any scene at all - he just happened to live with some outlas in portland where some of them have have conidered themselves as punks, vampires and what not but that doesn't mean he needed to do that as well).

Thank you for reading if you made it to this point! you are loved <3

[beddhead-red]

(asking very nicely) i would like to meet juno :3

re:

Juno is a character I made for use in literate RP on a Discord server a buddy of mine hosted/is hosting. Said server ran for a while, then died and was replaced with a server he is currently working on. Said friend is well known among all of the people involved for writing some absolutely fantastic, but absolutely deranged things. The RP is only partially important for the context; I could go deep into it but it's mostly irrelevant.

As for Juno, the initial basis for her was remembering this post.

The last major character I made for this sort of thing (Casper, who is a whole other can of worms) played a similar role, but was also just significantly more of a weirdo in all directions. 90% of the time in any given scene he was completely silent regardless of the situation, and he was built to essentially be an obedient lapdog who could and would take any abuse dealt to him, while doing virtually anything in service of his superior. He was well-meaning and ultimately would defy anyone's command in pursuit of better things, but typically spent most of his time led by other characters in the cast.

Juno, by contrast, was the most active participant in her story, and by virtue of the way the server was run, ended up taking most of the focus.

Ms. Volkov's backstory was very generalized, probably because I'd done it a few times over and it's not super important outside of a few major details.

She was born in the setting's equivalent of Russia (Novasibirsk), and a little later her younger brother was born. In circumstances I wasn't exactly clear on, they ended up out on the streets. Juno quickly realized that she was the only one who could keep herself and, more importantly, her brother alive. Through wit, skill, and a good bit of dedication, Juno always found work, and always managed to provide just enough for her and her brother to live modestly, if not comfortably.

This involved a good bit of criminal enterprising, often of a particularly violent nature. She would track people, she would sell information on them, and quite often, she would kill them. This skill set will prove particularly useful later. The kind of life they led gives her a lot of appreciation for small necessities, and made her very pragmatic and resilient.

Anywhere they traveled, it was together. Her entire life's purpose became protecting and providing for her little brother.

In a set of circumstances which hasn't been very clearly defined yet, he ended up being killed.

This is where things get spicy, predictably.

She was sure the man who killed him was dead. She could get no satisfaction in that direction, so she looked elsewhere. Through her underworld connections, Juno happened to get into contact with a man known to those in the know simply as The Alchemist. He is one of the most powerful people in the whole of the underworld, both in terms of criminality, and literally, in his connection to the occult. She paid this man to bring her brother back to life.

Needless to say, this didn't go well.

I haven't come to a full answer as to what the ending of this event is, but needless to say, the Alchemist was more interested in his own perverse interests in human experimentation than he was in bringing her brother back as he was. This made Juno very angry. Very angry indeed.

The Alchemist had taken what she gave him, stole even the closure of having his body to lay to rest, defiled his memory, and left Juno in the dust, at her lowest possible moment, with nothing left to live for.

But Juno Volkov is a particularly tenacious woman. One might say viciously stubborn.

Juno had one purpose, which was to keep him alive. She made two mistakes. She let him die. That much she had already remedied, or at least tried to, leading her to her second mistake.

Trusting him.

Juno's one purpose in life was to protect her brother. Now that she has failed that completely, she has only one other reason to live.

Getting revenge.

So she picks herself up, chases down every possible lead she can, leading her to one place. The most dangerous, run down, hard-bitten vision of the underworld that exists in the setting. Fortressgrad. The abyss, if ever there was one. It's said if you stare into the abyss for long enough, the abyss stares back.

Mention must certainly be given to what it is to survive in that abyss. If all that lives in those walls are monsters, then to enter is to become something monstrous yourself.

She's not terribly afraid. In fact, she feels right at home here, as much as it makes her skin crawl.

She'll find him, even if it kills her. In fact, maybe that's preferable. Maybe this is a suicide mission, and maybe she even knows it. Maybe that's what she's after.

But at the end of the day, she will kill him, no matter what it costs her.

...And that's where we are! At the outset, anyway. Like I said, we got a little bit into progression from here in the first server, and now we're waiting to get back to it in this one. There are some other important figures I should probably mention before I go further, who are characters made by other people.

Nicholas Briar is known as The Driver because the joke in the server is quite literally that he's the main character from Drive starring Ryan Gosling. He's a bit more nuanced than that, but his whole vibe is based on that. He's a cool dude, he drives, it's true. He is a local resident of the general Fortressgrad area, and as a consequence, is very generally aware of goings on around, particularly in the underworld. Hence, he's notably useful to Juno in that he might be able to provide her with some leads related to this supervillain on his doorstep.

Nick is a cool, sociable guy, who oozes charisma and likes making friends. Juno is a very closed off, all business kind of woman, and doesn't even blink at any of Nick's attempts to befriend her. She makes it overwhelmingly clear to him that despite extending courteous gestures to him (which include handing him a granola bar, letting him stand under her umbrella, and helping him kill some guys who were threatening them), she works alone, and isn't interested in maintaining their relationship once this is all over.

Nick just grins, shrugs his shoulders, and keeps right on being friendly as ever.

Nick himself might have a bit of a fucked up past that maybe ties into Juno's in a rather fucked up way that might end up getting him killed, but that comes later.

Celeste Majorelle is a girlfailure in every sense of the word. She's a short, dorky little woman who also happens to be in the same area, and why is anyone's guess. She's a small ray of sunshine in an endless chasm of darkness. She's a cinnamon bun and has about as many braincells as one. Fortressgrad is filled with countless horrors which you either acclimate to or you die, and Celeste's means of acclimating is screaming, running, crying, and having normal ass human reactions to the freak-ass beasts that show up, and then going around being a goofball whenever she has free time.

At any given moment in the RP, Celeste is typically the only one having fun.

She plays on Juno's older sister urge something fierce. She never says anything, but everything about how Celeste acts fills her with a need to protect her. She, more than anyone, illustrates that although Juno may seem like a cold person, she has a very warm and soft interior which she shows to people she has affection for. That maybe includes Nick, and some other parts to the cast, but it especially includes Celeste.

Are they, in fact, lesbiabs? Maybe a little. Depends how much my buddy Matt tries to push the issue. Both are bisexual. The way I'm using her narratively is absolutely disastrous, anyway.

The way I describe Juno's story is very simple; She is a rat who has been stabbed, bleeding alone in its cage. She will never leave that cage without somebody else forcing her to. If a hand tries to pick the rat up, it will fight. If you try to pick her up out of the cage and dress her wounds, she will struggle; she will bite; she will scratch; she will kick; she will do anything in her power to escape the hand and return to the safety of the cage, in spite of her own understanding that she will die in there.

She will never save herself. Someone else has to save her.

Celeste is the best candidate, and she is really, really, trying her best. WIll she save her? Find out next time, on Dragon Ball-

To summarize the points of my grubby little PI which will likely enrapture the strange lesbians eating my garbage, Juno:

-has a slight russian accent (& can speak russian)

-knows how to use most guns you can hand her (and will)

-knows how to drive a motorcycle (and maybe owned one at one point)

-is so invested in the pursuit that she occasionally forgets to take care of herself (often to the point of collapsing, i also frequently describe how the clothes she's wearing need a wash)

-used to smoke, doesn't anymore, might start again

-owns a flip phone, mostly plays snake on it

-will probably put a gun in your mouth to shut you up if you piss her off

-drinks coffee black

-is slightly autistic (there is more than one instance where she creates a very awkward and noticeable lull in conversation before she just continues straight in like absolutely nothing happened)

-is 26 years old (very legal)

I probably have other simple facts I can list off, but she's just a little freak doomed by the narrative, wont to be covered in blood, sweat, and rainwater, dedicated to a fault, hunting one of the most powerful figures in her setting in a suicide mission for someone she loved, while someone who loves her is trying to save her with increasing desperation. She's my pathetic little meow meow and I enjoy her a lot.

I haven't really discussed this important fact but it is vital to note that while Juno is explicitly cool and really competent at everything she does, she's also a huge dork. Like she explicitly does some things because she thinks they're really cool, and if she fucks them up and like ends up falling flat on her face she straight up just picks herself up and walks off like nothing happened.

She can and will kill you if she needs to, but if she doesn't, she'll actually be very nice to you, she's just dedicating her entire focus to...yknow, killing someone.

I also have this playlist which grows with relative frequency. I hope you enjoyed this silly little foray into learning about one of my little freaks.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

short angry cat bf kyle x big boy golden retriever bf stan is the realest

Lmaoooo thank you, like minded anonymous individual! I love that for them

I just feel like that’s the energy they emit to me, everyone has their opinions on what the boys look like, and 90% of the time I write them, Stan is tall and strong Kyle is shorter and slimmer. BUT to some degree it just depends on what version of them it is, like if a certain au kyle feels lanky to me, and elf Kyle is usually tall to me.

There’s a lot of variety out there on the physical descriptions of all the boys in fics, and I’m a firm believer that there’s no right or wrong answer because it’s literal South Park, we’re just havin fun out here!

Like, Kenny, for example. When I’m describing Kenny it depends on how his energy feels in that particular au. Is this Kenny short? Is he tall? How does he wear his hair? What color are his eyes?

And the topic of bleached hair Stan OH BOY that’s a popular headcanon for him especially in the last year, and I love reading it as long as it fits the version of him in the story if that makes sense (boxwinebaddie definitely made me enjoy it lmao ily queen) Personally I think most of my Stans feel more natural to me, that classic all american blue eyes dark hair lookin like prince eric mf (bunytime’s art of him influenced a lot of how I picture him when I’m writing, especially ojv)

Back on Kyle, I actually never considered him being short until I read some authors who write him short (jwinks Winter Butterfly converted me I’ve said it many times, some of their Kyles heavily influenced how I think of him in general) and since then I can’t unsee it (also uhhhh I just really like him getting picked up by the sbf lmao)

Oh yeah and Butters! For some reason I’ll usually write butters short but Marj tall it just feels right

One mf I don’t really sway on with physical traits is Cartman, like he’s always fat and he always has one blue eye, one brown

I also tend to picture Craig the same way when I write him and that is absoLUTELY bluebutbetter’s art of him. Just feels right lmao

Something I’ve been guilty of before is if there’s a fic I really love or an author I really admire who interprets the boys differently than I do, whether that be their personalities or how they look, I get insecure and feel like I’m Wrong lmao. But the thing is, their stories are their stories, and my stories are mine! At the end of the day we write for ourselves and our truth, and that’s kickass!

Sorry I kinda went off on a tangent there but BASICALLY one of the cool things about this fandom and fandom in general is how widespread everyone’s headcanons are! Like it’s a show about paper cutout foul mouthed children sky’s the limit! And SP canon is so bizarre and all over the place that AU’s are just BEGGING to happen and I think that’s beautiful! To each their own, write the guys however you want and never belittle someone for their interpretation!

In the words of the social worker guy: we like to have fun here!

[renearatman]

1, 2, and maybe 10 for the ask game you reblogged teehee

ok so mother 3 pretty much saved my life during quarantine in a really complicated way so yeah lucas makes me happy bc of that. hes my son and if anything happens to him i will eat my whole entire door

i like red bc im angry. and also because its like?? THE color. idk how to explain it you get what i mean

10. I grew up in the late 2000s to early 2010s so shit from that era makes me really really happy, especially old art and plushies. Ive tried to make kandis before but i dont actually have a set for it. Also anything consisting of a red, black and white color palette just looks really fucking cool to me for some reason. I love things that are creepy but also cute/cute evil things

I'm also one of those weird teenagers that is nostalgic for 90s shit despite not existing during that time

[devilbombers]

Claymore review

7.8/10

An extremely overlooked cult classic. It's probably the butch lesbian fantasy of all time.

For a good time for the most part I still think everyone should read it!

The Anime

this is probably the first time ive preffered watching the anime than the manga. Personally i found the beginning of the manga drawn too plain and thought the story telling was illustrated in a rather boring way and honestly i dont think the Norihiro Yagi was at the level he needed to be with choreographing fight scenes in a comprehensive way at the time and i just had to go ahead and watch the anime instead mostly because i could finally understand what was happening in scenes.

I really liked the anime however in the i am always inevitably a manga over the anime fan til the bitter end. It actually made me really angry to find out they had to drastically change a bunch of major plot elements and even make up a bunch of shit just so they could wrap up the anime in a nice way. Like i kind of understand why but it was actually such a corny and confusing ending it actually made me really angry lmao (ESPECIALLY HOW THEY REPLACED THE SCENE WITH JEAN SAVING CLARE WITH RAKI INSTEAD)

The Characters

For the most part I really liked everyone but of course I absolutely despised Raki. I do not blame anyone who couldnt bring themselves to continue or even start the series because of him because it took so much out of me to continue regardless of his almost pointless presence.

Like I kind of understand its because hes sort of supposed to expose and ground Claire's humanity but i really think it was still possible to do that without him even existing. hes kind of really a walking character device isnt he? Like im pretty sure Jean's existence was enough.

So anyways i think everyone else was really cool.

setting/genre/lore

I really dont know how to start with how much i admired everything. I really liked the legion of really cool/scary/pretty butch lesbian warriors, the concept of youma/awakened beings is so interesting and i love how horrifyingly beautiful they all are, I was super into how little i fucking knew about the organization.

In general everything is so unique and fresh I like everything about it. It pains me to no avail acknowledging that this is the only series asides from berserk thats a dark fantasy and even worse understanding both of them are technically over and its extremely maddening knowing nobody wants to draw dark fantasy manga anymore

creature design

i fucking love monsters so of course I have to discuss the unique appeal of the creature design in this series. One of the greatest things i absolutely adore from Yagis designs for the awakened beings is the stark contrast of a creature that is frightfully elegant.

I have to praise Yagi for also being the only other artist asides from Kentaro Miura whos considerate about exploring different shapes and forms for the overall silhouette of his creature designs.

Another specific aspect I greatly admire from his designs is that hes probably the first artist ive come across whos capable of mixing mostly scaled/armorlike textures on a monster while still retaining an air of tension and an organic looking design.

from my own personal art and observation from other creature designs from all sorts of artists I find it almost impossible to have these textures while retaining said elements of design because i think it gives it more of a "cool" vibe than a scary one.

Up until this point I was quite convinced its only feasible to have scales/armor-like textures on a monster if you balance it with a fleshy texture (approximately 70-80% fleshy and hard textured for the 20-30%) but Yagi truly is a genius or something because hes the only artist i know whos capable of making designs that are like 90% armor but its still somehow gives you chills.

So anyways heres a list breaking down my deepest feelings about my favorite awakened being designs:

1. The destroyer

I actually havent ever seen a monster design so grand it took my breath away. Theres too much to love about it. Out of all the awakened beings nothing radiates such a thick aura of radiance and absolute terror than this design alone.

The whole idea of two sisters lovingly trapped together to become a greater and unstoppable creature is so overwhelming it really makes me shiver with delight and terror. Ive never felt so strongly about a design before so I really think nothing else will outdo this unique sensation.

Its just so fucking cool!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with religious iconography so i really adored how it was shaped like an angel and devil at the same time. i thought it was super fascinating how it would relentlessly and indiscriminately shoot everything and everyone in its radius with pieces of itself warped into more awful abyssal creatures that could even manipulate and transform anyone it stabs itself into. its all just so coollllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!

2: Isley

i thought isley was a really weird guy and i probably hated him but i cannot deny how I think his awakened form was soooo cool. Isley is the prime example of what i was talking about with balancing textures on a monster. Super cool design i like it a lot

3: the awakened girl that showed up during ophelias first appearance

god i really wish i could properly admire her with knowing her fucking name. Quite an ephemeral appearance but she had such a unique look to her despite everything I've seen throughout the series i could never forget her. She's probably the defines the general features and theme of what awakened beings should look like. A trend setter dare i say.

4: Cassandra

VERY interesting silhouette. its not often you get to see a humanoid like body be treated like somewhat of a quadruped. Its interesting how its something vaguely erotic and terrifying at the same time. The multiple heada that snaps its jaws on anything that gets near it is a fantastic touch.

5: Riful

overall a relatively simple design but its the simple things that are always the most fascinating isnt it? I really like tangled looking monsters. Not much to say except slay honestly lmao

6: Jean

She was only in this form for such a brief moment but it was such a striking design I couldn't forget it. If find the most unforgettable things are usually the most fascinating things in turn. Such a gorgeous yet terrifying thing. I hope i dont sound like a psychopath saying this but the visible helplessness being trapped in an awful and radiant body is very beautiful to me.

7: Miata

quite a short appearance but i really liked the silhouette of her awakened form. I wish there were more panels showing more closer details of it. not much to say about this other than i think its really neat!

8: europa

literally just a ball with several spines attached to it and i could say its a bit lazy in comparison to everyone else but theres sm attention to the finer details of the spines i cant get mad at it. I know you're supposed to focus on the arms with this design but i actually like this design the most for just the face. The upside down doubled face is really interesting to me and i admire it a lot for some reason.

9: the abyssal eaters

probably one of the most terrifying creatures in the whole series and maybe somewhere up there in my hierarchy of the most scariest monsters in a manga. i LOVE LOVE LOVE the whole idea of them so much bc theyre so fucking scary!!!!!! Very simple design but i never get to see stitches ENOUGH in media (which is a huge shame because its one of my favorite features to draw with body horror) so it makes me happy that all of their faces is just stitches.

THE STORY and the series as a whole

i really wish i could say i loved everything about it but everything I loved about it in the beginning basically disipated in the end. I think the main issue lies in the fact it all started in a very simple but effective manner but yagi ended up over complicating everything by adding too much. I don't scorn Yagi at all for the almost sudden and utter collapse in quality writing because its sort of an inevitability with titles that go on for a very long time. But I still think it's important and valid to explain my fascination with it in the first place.

I really liked the overall simplicity it had with everything. The plot at the start was very simple and straightforward: a woman who gives up her humanity to avenge the death of her only family. Not a unique plot of course but it obviously was the main character herself and companions (excluding raki ofc lmao) who really makes up the story.

I really liked how Claire was never the strongest. She really appeared to be but comparatively speaking to her fellow warriors she pales immensely. And I think its that remaining humanity I really liked the most about Claire. I REALLY liked how cohesive her group was and I was so impressed with the storytelling and character building in the beginning because at the time I thought this was the only other series I like I could think of other than Dorohedoro where theres a lot of characters that show up but you actually manage to sincerely remember them because they all have meaning. Too many times i run into series who introduce too many characters solely just to keep the story fresh; but none of them have any real purpose to them.

I also was obsessed with how well Yagi was with building tension throughout the story. To me I think its really hard to find series who are able to capture their readers with a good sense of tension.

The characters in this series are quite overpowered, but In the beginning I found it extremely admirable how Yagi was still able to make the reader feel anxious about whether or not the protagonist or their companions would persevere againt their adversaries. Yagi had a very good sense at balancing everyones strengths and flaws in a very balanced way.

But again with the sands of time it couldn't stay this good forever. To be completely honest it took a lot out of me to read the rest of it. It came to the point where i was so lost and frusturated about how confusing everything got i was just trying to read it just so i could be done with it?

I think my main problem with the series as it ended was how unfocussed it got with the plot. I feel like everything immediately got so muddled after the fight with Rigardo. Maybe it's just me but I honestly was ok with never understanding the organization I was mostly just interested in what was going to happen with the main cast with the abyssal ones and such. It actually made me really angry how the battle scenes got so stupid overtime with how it became one of those series where they overexplain the characters' tactics for a very long time. I initially really liked the battle scenes because they dont talk too much and they just simply fight, i really really hate it when anime/manga does the latter actually.

I don't really know how i feel about the ending honestly. I don't know if im satisfied with how claire somehow turned into teresa and she killed priscilla instead but i guess it was nice? I don't know how i thought it was all going to end but i would have never expected it to be like this and i dont say that in a good way but more of a confused way if anything. I wouldn't say it was a bad ending? but I guess thats okay???

anyways, despite all my criticisms i still think its worth the read and the credit it deserves in the end. It's really weird how it went on for so long but no one ever seemed to care? that makes me quite upset actually.

[craftytragedysalad]

My thoughts on the season finale part 1 (Carlos and Gabriel's relationship)

I'll be talking about it today. Hope you don't get tired of me, but this is the way I process things, writing. Also, I am not an English native speaker, I told you all here before that I am Brazilian, and I work for a company in the US, so I know how to communicate in English, but I am not a native and I know I commit mistakes. I was really stressed out when the finale ended. I was really confused and kind of angry. I think this is normal, the 2 hours were a roller coaster of emotions and we need time to process it correctly. I know personally that I am not already okay, but I need to talk about it to start being. I am mourning the loss of Gabriel. We got to know him in season 2, so we have 2 seasons of a conflictual relationship with the character while we saw the complicated father/son relationship with Carlos.

We know that he loves his son. We know that he is proud of him, yes, in the present, because just like Gwyn, I know he will be with Carlos and Andrea, even after his passing.

But Carlos only discovered this after his death. I know people that do art (I am researching how to make gifs, to illustrate my ideas), will do a lot of them after they can process the finale by themselves, but the scene where Carlos invites Gabriel to be his best man is a great illustration of how Carlos made mistakes too. He found his father doing puzzles, that he does not know he was doing with his mother for a while now, and after that, he was offered green tea and Gabriel justified it by taking care of his own health and we can see that Carlos doesn't know it as well and he failed to reach out to his father too, because relationships are a 2-way street. I read somewhere (let me know if it was you, I'll credit the idea) that Carlos created an image of his father that could not be entirely true and unfortunately, he only discovered this when too late.

Look, Gabriel was wrong in the way he treated Carlos (Andrea too, but she was more open to making things right). I am not absolving him of his responsibilities and in the fact that he did not try to extend a hand to the son after he came out as gay and it is totally his responsibility and it has consequences too, but Carlos closed himself a little too much, as he said on his vows to TK.

I still think the show could work more on the development of their relationship but for real? I watch procedurals for a long time and rarely do they focus correctly on solving the main character's issues, we already have people complaining that ls is a first responders show that does not have emergencies (they are not wrong, I am only illustrating my thought), so they will never have time to work properly on these questions because it is not what they are supposed to do and we need to remember that not everyone overthinks things as we do on the fandom. A lot of people yesterday connected just to see the show, maybe people that even watched the entire season like us. What I am trying to say with this enormous and confused text is: I don't like Gabriel's death. For me it is an unnecessary drama, I hated they did it 5 days before the wedding because it turned that incredible moment into a sad moment, but it is how drama and procedurals usually do and I am sure that this "unsolved" murder, will lead to the Carlos' storyline in season 5 because we know him, he will not forget what happened it is not like him. I am sad, but other than that, now, that I slept a little, I can say that it was a sad finale, but a very beautiful too.

Side note: Even with all the spoilers released, I was 90% of the time surprised and it was really good, I know I'll enjoy it more the second time when I watch the episodes.

[nightmare-foundation]

I keep seeing and impulsively checking the blog of an old fairly toxic friend of mine n I just.

Man. Why do YOU have to be doing well. Why am I the only one who looks back and ends up feeling awful.

Not that I want him to suffer. It's better he doesn't. But like,, I'm always the one on the chopping block between the two of us. It's been 4 YEARS and one month since we've completely ceased contact. Yet my dumb ass STILL can't not think abt him at random

Like,, I'm sure I wasn't completely innocent. I was a really weird 13 year old who never had a genuine friend before, not to mention my mental illness and trauma I had yet to uncover. Yet the only person who never communicated nor seemed to care about our friendship was him. I could be pushy at times, yeah, but I always backed down if told no and whatnot.

Not only that, but I'm still annoyed that he straight up LIED about me and what I was like. One of his (ADULT) friends had contacted me in late 2018, claiming I was, and I quote, "manipulative, misgendered him, and used him as an emotional dump truck". I was 13 years old, and my only friend besides one other person had blocked me for no reason.

Literally for that WHOLE month, I was terrified. I had panic attacks and was anxious as hell. And I'll admit I was a little dependent on him, but I was still fucked from that experience.

Once we started talking again and boundaries set up. He SORT of apologized, but always insisted he was an awful friend, so I ended up having to comfort him instead. I always made excuses and everything for him, convinced that I was awful. And literally like,, there was no effort put in from his side after that. Aaaand then April 2019, I was suddenly messaged and blocked, and that was the last time we talked.

I was hurt obv but like. After that. I kept on being targeted by his adult friends (we were both 14, the friends were at LEAST 23+). Deadass I still don't know what the hell was said abt me but I KNOW it wasn't good. Bc before I knew it I had someone call me a pathetic bitch while I was having a panic attack over feeling guilty for shit I didn't do, then I was banned from like 3 system servers for "interacting inappropriately with a minor". Cue me literally being 14 at the time, a csa survivor, with no evidence even when I asked repeatedly for it, with literally no access to anyone younger than me bc of discords TOS.

The stress from that LITERALLY made us split several times and caused us to switch hosts. Sammy, the alter who was host at the time, is likely STILL dormant. All of that happened in practically the same year.

I'm still fucking baffled by it, angry, and hurt. It's been 4 damn years and I'm 90% sure he doesn't even remember us now.

Like,, christ I still can't interact with the undertale fandom for long bc it makes me remember him. I can't even look at art styles resembling his bc it makes me sick! I am TERRIFIED of venting bc I'm scared someone will lash out at me or accuse me of dumping all of my trauma on them. I'm scared I'm doing something wrong without knowing it and that tomorrow I'll wake up to having no friends bc they all blocked me.

Hell, I have issues trusting people who use the same name as him! I avoid a whole GROUP of people because I'm terrified they'll recognize me and start drama with false claims. Anyone who may have been so much as NEAR him I can't completely interact with besides a couple reblogs here and there.

And like,, I'm sure he's doing completely fine. That he's entirely unaware of the damage he caused. And, yeah, good for him, he's not suffering like I am. But also,, I'm painfully envious. I wish I was left pain free.

It's so stupid. It was 4 years ago. I really need to get over it.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Redemption Log: The One Mans Trash Job

Episode starts with a man and woman fishing trash out of a river, the news called back saying that while the story did fine they dont want to cover it anymore. Cuts to two men in a car, blowing up the two peoples shrimping-boat. --- Hammond runs a trash-shipping business. (i mean that btw, i think he's literally shipping trash, there is no way that one or two containers falling of a regular shipping vessel creates this widely varied and intensely damaged floating mass). Which means the follow-up is: Why is he doing that? Its not to save money. Thats not worth blowing up a boat for. Now I remember stories about how, for various reasons, some of the first things organised crime syndicates try to get their hands on when settling into a city is its waste disposal network. (easy way to get rid of a couple of bodies or a bunch of evidence, and because your company is paid by local government, you can openly associate with crooked councilmen and have them bribe you by just increasing your budget while looking legal and above-board to casual observers) Basically: I think he's with the mob in some capacity. He's got a boat, im gonna say smuggler (he dumps the trash to make space for whatever he's smuggling) --- Back at the theatre: Im right about my first assumption (hes a waste transporter, focussed on plastic.) He's a ghost on the internet though, no facebook no nothing.

So accordint to Breanna he's taking trash, shipping it to asia, dumping half along the way, then spending money to bribe local government to dump it. At that point, why isnt he just saving the money and dumping it all at sea? Why waste the money on gas and bribes. So im 90% certain that he does make the full trip, and its what he takes back that is making him the most money (smuggler, probably drugs)

He has a storage facility that is suspiciously over-insured. (you dont insure drugs, he might be smuggling art instead)

Sophie concludes along similar lines as I do. --- Back at the docks, Parker and Elliot are on evidence-gathering. There's an auction happening, and yes those are antique art-objects he's smuggling back to the US.

Breanna is disapointed that they're going after this low-level trashdumper instead of the companies that are killing the planet. Im going to be clear here: if sophie's talks about how all we can do is little babysteps is meant to foreshadow a "regular civilians should use less plastic" thing, im gonna get pissed.

--- Complication: He has forged Provenance documentation.

Sophie just recognised an item (mahjong tiles) . And i dont mean in the "she can tell when its a Kadinski" sense, but in the "I remember these, i have a personal history with this object" sense.

Hammond's personal authenticator --- Sophie and Authenticator begin code-speaking. They have a past, there is tension but he's not gonna bust her just yet. (Name is Arthur Wilde) "you were in mesopotamia 2 years ago"= He's heard of Sophie doing something in Iran/Iraq "spent my time digging out a burmese temple"=I was trying to escape prison (tone of voice=I blame sophie) after that i lose the track but in summary: Sophie's fucked this guy over at some point. "its not what it looks like, well except for conning your boss that is exactly what it looks like." Ah yeah, he was in prison because of her. Sophie is gonna try to talk him round to their side.

Sophie takes out the earpiece. --- What do you mean "steal a printer", Sure its a special filament rather then regular PLA but its just a 3d printer. If you're telling me Hardison and Breanna dont already have a functional 3d printer im gonna be angry. But apparently we stole the printer off-screen and are already at the auction with the fake ivory tiles.

Arthur is in. (giving him the big score is Sophie's attempt at redemption for getting him thrown in prison)

Harry plays the buyer, Gives the perfect excuse for a long-distance boat-trip on which such an object may just take a dip in the sea. --- Tracking the tiles, signal broke off. Sophie is gonna have to confess her past sins.

Oh we're digging into the Duchess of Hanover lore here. This is definitly setting up a plot-arc for the season... Wait there was a duke, she fell in love with the mark... is there a kid? No way that there isnt a complication where she has a kid right? (it would let her foil both Nate's relation with Sam and Harry's relationship with Becky) --- Time for the con: Get him to lead you to the tiles. (you stole from a terrorist my dude)

I like the professionalism on our mark, mid stand-off, turnign to "Athena" about wether she's willing to occupy his imminent vacancy.

Elliot and the Mark are talking business (blackmail, "pay me or i call my boss" type of deal). McSweeten gets re-mentioned. (he's still doing nice for himself)

Mark has decided that he's gonna use the stolen tiles to pay off Harry to get the terrorist he represents to kill Elliot for him. The tiles are in motion, (and im thinking that Parker followed him to them so we know where the vault is)

--- Mark returns to his home to find the official spokesman for Terrorism Incorporated sitting in his chair.

Harry has the tiles (both the fake and the real.) which means that from now on, if we ever see the "real" tiles again, assume those are fake as well. (if we can 3d print the missing tiles, no reason not to print some fakes of the real ones for a switch)

Harry has turned on Sophie (or at least thats what the mark thinks. He's still with her, this is a staged death-scene) --- Ah, get him to think he just compromised an international terrorist. Yeah this guy is gonna rat himself right into witness protection.

Elliot mentioned McSweetens name specificly to get him to go to the higherup (can we expect an OG Actor Cameo?)

Harry takes a dive to sell the Chechen as being a small fish compared to someone. And if the Chechen is a small-fry, that means our Mark would be plankton.

We havent seen Parker in a while, also that gun was in the guys office while Harry was there waiting for him. Those are blanks --- Ah right, Harry had access to his laptop for like, an entire FBI Agent Elliot-scene. Theres a lot more you can do there then just swap some bullets.

"dont even try to call for help" before stealing his phone from an ocean away... Style. --- Scene cuts to our heroes fishing trash out of the river. New boat, money for a cleaning operation. Unfortunately no cameo from McSweeten. Arthur doesnt believe Sophie's improved herself, and leaves with a foreshadowing "i know im not the only one you betrayed back then" to say, Yup we're getting a season-long arc about the Duchess Con.

[frankhightower]

If I became a billionaire (at each stage of my life)

Today's journal is a bit different, and arguably not art related. It's just something that's been bugging me and I need to get off my chest.

I've written before what I would do if I suddenly became a billionaire right now, and what I would’ve done if that had happened when I became of age (you don’t need to read those to understand this, just know they exist). Today I want to explore what I would’ve done if I’d become a billionaire at different stages in my life, because the answer is always the same:

There’s this problem I’m noticing… how is nobody working on it?!

age 6: The missing words problem

I noticed quite early on that I had a lot I wanted to say, I just didn’t have the words to say, and there was no way to help me find those words. Here I did learn the reason: adults tend to assume that kids’ thoughts are just simpler.

If I’d become a billionaire at this age (after, let’s be honest, buying a few toys) I would’ve put my resources towards this problem. There would’ve been an avalanche of books with things like “So you’re not happy but you’re not sad but you don’t like it? That’s called ‘unhappy’. Oh, you’re disappointed by how stupid that word is and now feel a little angry too? Welcome to ‘upset’!” and with things like “Does it feel like there’s a song that forces you to think about it again and again and you can’t stop? That’s called ‘getting it stuck in your head’.”

age 8: The licensing problem

Another thing I noticed early on is that companies are terrible with licensing. I first noticed it with Talespin where Don Karnáge’s popularity (recurring villain) was glaringly obvious if you ever saw a kid watch the show (he was the only one kids would imitate in the playground!) But Disney never capitalized on this. There was never a Don Karnáge movie or series or even toys while the series was running (okay, fine, there was 1 action figure, but the stores always stocked less of him than the others and he was stupid expensive, while Molly which honestly no one cared about got 3 action figures in 3 price ranges and a McDonald’s Happy meal toy!)

Then I noticed it with The Magic School Bus, which started pointing me to the cause of the problem: every decision had to be funneled through just the 2 authors!

But what finally made me realize this was a major problem was The Disney Store. Probably the most obvious idea for a global store chain ever, but no one could do anything with the idea except stare at Disney very intently and hope that would will them into doing it themselves (you have no idea how hard it was to get Disney merch in the early 90s! Virtually no stores carried it, and even with access to the internet and paper catalogues there was no way!) I would be in college before a Disney Store made it to me because simply contacting Disney was a hopeless mess! And I looked back and every IP holder ever was just that bad at being contacted. Surely someone could step in and fill the niche?

…And then there was Pokémon. I’ve mentioned you simply couldn’t get a Pokémon hat during the height of pokémania, it was not one of the “approved” products. This is when I realized: fans could do it (but it would take about a decade before they did). All they needed was a way for the company to give them the OK and, if they were successful, they would eventually be able to mass-produce it. Wouldn’t we live in a much better world if companies operated like this instead of decrying trademark and copyright violations left right and center?

And sure, some things would still get shut down. If you’re basically porting Pokemon Red to play in the browser (which was probably the most searched for thing at the time) the parent company is probably going to say no, the whole point is to play it on a Gameboy. But wouldn’t it be worth it for all the stuff they could now say yes to?

age 10: The housing problem

I noticed there was a global housing problem at this age and no one was talking about it (we’re talking late 90s/early 2000s here). I also realized the problem was not that there wasn’t enough square miles of city space dedicated to housing, it was just bad housing! I was already playing SimCity by this point, so I knew the solution was a) to densify and b) to put jobs and shops closer to the housing. But I didn’t want to turn every city on Earth into Lower Manhattan; I saw in the shrinking malls, a huge potential. Here was a single structure with well defined spaces where everything was in walking distance, was centrally located, and was car-accessible (sometimes with customer loading bays on the higher floors!) A lot of them also have dedicated office spaces. How hard would it be to turn at least some of those offices into apartments (which also had the advantage of requiring less parking and therefore freeing up even more space)? The small town/friendly neighborhood feel people kept saying they missed was all-but guaranteed!

Of course, the people who move in here would leave “bad housing” behind. Those you could turn into Lower Manhattan, since then you’ll have “missing middle mixed use” housing spread out at de-facto random!

age 12: The media bubble problem

I also noticed early that people were retreating into their own little bubbles with their own little opinions, worlds, and facts (harmless ones at this time like whether it was best to brush your teeth 2 vs 3 times a day but still worrying). This was still the age of cable, so what you were getting was “the Nickelodeon tribe”, “the Cartoon Network tribe” and *shudder* “the HBO tribe” and I could see this wouldn’t stop. Bubbles would get smaller and smaller until everybody was, essentially, alone, validated only by someone they could find on the other side of the world that happened to consume the same content. What would I have done with my riches to combat this? It’s quite simple: bring back the TV guide. The first step to stepping out of your bubble is knowing what exists outside of it.

I was “poor” (I couldn’t afford cable) so I wasn’t a member of any tribe. But because I overheard the names of the shows and channels, I could search the internet for them and still, well, have friends. But I could see this mechanism was unsustainable and that many people were already being isolated for not having caught on to this new way of doing things. Someone had to make it explicit! …No one ever did.

age 14: The digital divide

This was a problem that was talked about a lot in the early 2000s but no one did anything about (not in any serious way anyway). The problem was that, like Literacy vs. Functional Literacy, it’s not enough that you can sit at a computer and know that the mouse controls it, you need to know how to use the computer. What does Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V do? Which programs can I draw in? What do and don’t I need a Wacom-style tablet for? There was a lot of questions people had about technology that, honestly, made their lives difficult and no one was seriously tackling.

Unfortunately, there was no easy solution to this except hire a lot of people to tutor every one of them, personally, as some sort of pseudo-government program. Today, sure, you could probably define some software that detects when you don’t know how to use Ctrl+C and just tells you, but back then that was a little underdeveloped (*cough* Clippy *cough*). You would need to hire and train a lot of people to tutor everyone who needed to be brought in, and that would cost a lot of money. Maybe a billion dollars.

This problem was eventually considered to solve itself when smartphones became compulsory for things like …oh… taking the plane or paying for utilities… but we could’ve solved it so much earlier, so much better.

age 16: Literature's "missing middle"

Here’s a problem I don’t think is seriously being tackled yet: there’s Children’s books (picture books), there’s Young Adult books (Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, etc), and there’s Adult books (self-help, classical literature, etc). There’s “chapter books” for children to transition into young adult books …But there is no large genre to pick from for Young Adults to transition into Adult books. Surely there’s writers out there who are capable of such a feat, but are just lacking the resources?

And further, “Chapter books” are a uniquely English-speaking phenomenon and only exist because, wait for it, a lot of resources were poured into it in the past. Surely the genre can be, dare I say, kickstarted in other languages in a similar way?

age 18: Youth credit

So I start college and get a scholarship and a bank account it can be deposited into. Surely that means I now have access to credit? Psyche! Of course not! I was made to wait until the end of my Junior year before any bank would give me any form of credit. I have a lot of opportunities I missed because I was, like, $10 short which I’m sure I could’ve put on credit if I’d had one!

At this time, Muhammad Yunus was making headlines for pioneering “microcredit”. He realized NINJAs didn’t need houses, they needed small bits of aid for small investments that would slowly lift them out of poverty (as a personal example, I own a bicycle, but for years I couldn’t use it because I didn’t have a bike lock to tie it up with when I got anywhere. As soon as I was able to afford one, I was able to bike to the store of my choice, buy my own food, and therefore eat healthier, and therefore feel better, and therefore be more productive, and, yes, make more money!)

It didn’t take a genius to put the two together and realize young people needed such “microcredits” too. Such a thing had the potential to move the economy enough to get us out of the global financial crisis! (Could they just blow it all on video games? Sure, but remember the bubbles, that gives them access to a “tribe” which also has the potential of making them “feel better and therefore more productive”!)

…apparently, though, it did take a genius, because no one did it, no matter how much I “stared at them intently hoping that would will them into doing it.”

age 20: Adult friend-making

I noticed very quickly that, as an adult, it’s very hard to make friends. Still a student, I was able to find some clubs that I was interested, but I never became friends with the people there. (For one, they all seemed to assume I must have a car, which… look at the last one. For another, they wanted “drinking buddies”…I wanted someone to have a sober conversation with, and not just because my body can’t handle alcohol well!)

Even if I had, I could see there was no such clubs available once I graduated. What was I going to do, found “the anime club” for adults? Build a school playground for grownups? That would take like a billion dollars!

age 22: Student secretaries

Students need help. No not like that; again, it’s always the little things. Sometimes it’s someone you can ask to Google something for you while your hands are occupied. Sometimes it’s just… someone you can reliably tell “remind me to [blank]”. Friends, family… they never remember. They aren’t paid to.

The service does exist, it’s called a remote assistant, but it’s intended for, well, older people, which makes it expensive.

I realized this thing used to exist. “Upperclassmen” would be assigned a “Freshman” that would help them with little tasks like “return this library book for me”, while the “upperclassman” would explain, well, all the things people take for granted you “know” in that campus, such as where to get a friggin’ drink of water! I can’t tell you how much I suffered as a newbie just trying to get water!

Okay, tangent over. The point is the relationship is temporary because the upperclassman is supposed to graduate, so even if it does cease to be mutually-beneficial, it’s short-lived.

Reintroducing such a program (especially in multiple campuses) would need some kind of backing… some kind of sponsorship… some kind of… billion dollars.

age 24: Art tagging

As I began my first incursion (though not my first attempt) into the online art world, I realized just how terrible the art sites were. Surely by now there would be some kind of “just drop in” service for your art that automatically does part of the work for you? Sure, it can’t write your thoughts on your art, but surely image recognition was at the point where the art could be tagged automatically for things like setting, species, or colors?

No, of course not. Now that it’s been about a decade, we know no one was serious about this, they just wanted AI art.

age 26: Legal directory

Accepted for a masters scholarship, suddenly I had a lot of questions: How do I apply for one of those big credits? What international treaties affect me? What even is notarization and why does my grade report need it?

The problem is, simply, that I had no one to ask. I still don’t. (I mean, someone who actually knows, not just throw it out on the internet or hope my parents coincidentally had the same problems). Surely there’s a business opportunity just… answering people’s basic legal-adjacent questions and telling them “these are the people in your area that can help you”? Why isn’t this a normal thing yet?

age 28: The things you should "know"

New town, new university… and I realized there was a lot of things people expect you to just “know”. My biggest gripe was: my big-city DMV requires you to make an appointment, while college-town DMV was walk-in only. It took me six months—six months—to get a straight answer out of anyone on this regard and I’m still upset about that!

But I was, overall, doing fine. It was still a city, I know cities. Some even-smaller-town people were having a bit of trouble adapting to the “city” but, eventually they got it.

It really hit me how bad it was when winter came and the exchange students from the tropics started panicking. No one had told them about thermal underwear. Or hot drinks. Or wind chill. Or hats. They were spending all their money on Hollywood-movie-style coats and at a loss why they “weren’t working”. They were expected to just “know”.

So if one billion dollars were to fall in my lap at that point? I’d come up with a guidebook. There was a lot of guides that had been very helpful when coming to this new college, but none about these specific things. I’d also probably do an extra year, but the guidebook would’ve been first.

age 30: Infrastructure resilience

No one was talking about the “crumbling infrastructure” (at least not yet), but I could see it and saw it was a global problem and I was worried. At this point, I knew I needed to worry for myself first, so I focused on getting APCs to survive blackouts, storing water to survive water cuts, and learning to use WiFi Tethering to survive internet outages (and a good thing I did!) But I knew a lot of people didn’t know about these things. They didn’t even know APCs existed. But what could I do? I was barely able to afford the 2 APCs I did get (though, by my math, we needed at least 5). Some kind of massive battery backup program would require like a billion dollars!

Riches really are wasted on the rich.