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#it just wasnt where i thought it was going and i wished there was a little bit more
opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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risingsunresistance · 9 months
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it's 2023 and drm is asserting boundaries against nsfw and truthing/shipping. how did we get here from 2020
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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🦴
#im like very much having a crisis right now... i mean to most ppl it isnt that serious lmaoooo#but tbh i am a loser and tumblr is 80% of my life and most of my social life#all social interactions i get are on tumblr ._.#so i dont want to keep alienating myself on it because then im just ruining it for myself and removing the only place#and source of social interaction and attention :/#i personally can not for my life comprehend this because i really dont take other peoplës venting personally#but ever since i started using twitter and tumblr i have ruined so many connections .. by venting on my own account.....#and now.. when i lost and fucked it up with the love of my life... just bc i vented and he interpreted it from his pov..#and got hurt when i wrote things abt being lonely and unwanted WHILE talking to him everyday and having him call me beautiful and care abt m#... i understand why he got hurt and i understand his pov bc it looked like i pulled away and distanced myself and only complained and that#he didnt matter to me when in fact he was EVERYTHING to me and i lived off his attention#i hate that i ruined the best thing i could ever have just bc i have this pathological need to share my every thought#like shut the fuck up... i wish i wouldve shut the fuck up and instead gushed abt how much i liked him which was what i wanted to do#my avpd just made me feel stupid bc when i did he didnt interact with those posts and then i felt embarrassed#which like i know how fucking stupid avpd and bpd makes me and i hate it but i cant stop it#god i regret it so much like my dumb ass blog isnt worth losing him over... it just isnt#only an online connection.. makes it so hard to see bc he only saw my diary where i complain he didnt see everything else :(((#so he thought that he wasnt important to me and then slowly started to detach himself from me (understandably) god i wanna die#so yeah ive started to HATE my main account. bc it has ruined so much for me. plus lately ppl have started being mean#and i get it its the internet ppl suck but i AM so fkn sensitive. and i get sad and hurt really easily#and i feel anxious abt venting bc im scared of getting a mean ask after#like... i feel so fucking alone and idk what to do. all i want to do now is vent vent vent but ive started to feel like venting is bad#and harmful and only ruins my friendships and connections and makes ppl be mean to me#i honestly wish i wouldve stopped venting every thought looooong ago#and that i had a more normal blog and had a secret vent blog and that he didnt read all my miserable posts#bc then maybe.... he wouldve actually understood how much i fkn love him and hadnt looked in other places and now i lost him#bc i really dont blame him bc i know what he is struggling with and seeing me who he cares for so much say those things...#i get it 100% and thats why im so pissed with myself for just not stopping!!!! why cant i stop????? whats wrong with me#i just feel so lonely and like no ones listening but he was listening to me i just had to be brave and go to him#plus all my venting made him think that im like in severe emotional distress every second and that i was too fragile to talk to
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castielafflicted · 9 months
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so when I started Chants of Sennaar at like 10:30pm I did not intend to beat the whole game but uh. turns out it is in fact 7am somehow. I took a break for a little bit but uh. I did get 100% achievements in 7 hours and 30 minutes because that's just how it goes I guess?
anyways I love you language games <3
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nailtagyuri · 1 year
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when i was 12 this was the coolest most mindblowing shit ever i was genuinely so obsessed with it I'd read it very day like the bible. I would die for a version of this with the post 3D world content over my country
#i hve vs super mario bros on my switch bc i wanted to chronologically play through the storied hero timeline and i couldnt find a rom#I think it has the same appeal as spid.erverse kinda except instead of multiple different people filling the same role as sp.iderman its#the same guy it's still mario but the changes come from things going differently at certain points in his life do you GET ME!!#LIKE!!!!!!!! MOST OF IT'S DETERMINED BY WHAT HAPPENS IN YOSHIS ISLAND AND THERES ALTERNATIVE PATHS IF HE WINS OR FAILS!!! GAME OVERS HAVE#CONSEQUENCES THAT BRANCH INTO THEIR OWN TIMELINES MARIO CAN END UP WITH DIFFERENT PARENTS ITS SO COOLLLLLL#and i love how each of the major branches has their own theme like “action hero” is the one with all the gameplay-focused#mainline titles “storied hero” is the one with all the M&L rpgs and more plot-heavier stuff and “blue collar hero” is this third one#with all the donkey kong titles and wackier/arcade titles WHERE i might add his design had a blue shirt and red overalls#and the tl builds off of those games into nsmb so i like to hc that he kept his early 80s design well into the later games <-autistic sorry#AND how thetimelines represent how their different backstories have influenced their personalities and thought processes a little like#what happened to mario in the blue collar branch like he either becomes EVILL!!!! and kidnaps donkey kong leading to dkjr or#divorces peach and has a self isolation arc after nsmb2 whats going on w him...#and i LOVE how all of them have a sort of common event where bowser invades the mushroom kingdom and in each timeline its#represented by a different variation of the original super mario bros game with action hero's event being represented by smb itself#which is fitting since thats the branch where mario and luigi ended up with their intended parents and everything went as planned#and i think a general theme here is that the more things go against intention the sillier it gets dont even get me STARTED on the time#travel shenanigans in bottom right which lead into the handheld remakes i love this so much its unreal#i do wish paper mario wasnt explained away as a dream but like thats its whole other world and art style and itd be difficult#to fit it into one of the major branches so i get why it was done. i probably wouldve just given it its own isolated bubble in the corner#at that rate i probably wouldve added so much more shit to the main tl im talking game&watch games i look at this and i see a pitch#for a full feature length autism production you understand
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skyllion-uwu · 9 months
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Am I nauseous because I'm hungry or because I triggered myself last night
#my stomach hurts and i need to eat but the idea of doing that is. ack#and i cant tell my parents why because id have to unpack so much spontaneously#like id have to explain i was on the internet before they let me make an account and that i didnt tell them when i was getting those dms#and how its basically ruined any neutrality i had towards sex because ill be fine and then BAM!#everyone else is 12 year old me and im an adult and im my abuser and im going to hurt them if i keep talking about this#just because it was only words doesnt mean it fucked everything up forever. i know back then i was aroace but didnt have the words#but i sincerely think id be just sex neutral if it wasnt for that fucking asshole and now i think about sex for too long and get sick#and i didnt say anything because i thought they were my friend and i dont know if they were 11 like they said they were or not either way#its just. im getting so much off my chest here i wish i could go back in time and tell myself to block after that first message#and i didnt say anything after i realized because i wasnt allowed to have social media and i didnt want to get in trouble over that part#fantasizing alone is one thing but as soon as someone else is involved theyre me and im that person on da and i hate it. i hate it i hate it#i hate it i hate it#is that a common thing. where you feel like youre the abuser in certain contexts even if youre nothing like them#whatever. i have physical therapy and then ask a prof if i can use him as a reference and then finish my application if he gets back to me#and then i can rot all i want#sky vents like amogus
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dapperrokyuu · 10 months
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Saw a bad Mochijun take, lol.
#dee p thoughts#genuinely dislike vague posts and/but I dont want to put a person on blast but like#''alice became irrelevant'' quite frankly the plot revolved and wouldnt exist in the first place without alice nadfbjkldan#I can get behind the idea that the plot is less EXPLICITLY about her lategame and mochijun frankly wasnt perfect about writing girl#characters (sincerely Id say the PERFECT done ones are only lacie and echo; the rest struggling with either disappearing quickly a la#vanessa and marie relegating to supporting/supplemental to male characters roles a la sharon ada shelly and/or funky in execution a la#lottie lily and alice) but literally. the plot goes from ''who murdered her?'' to ''why did she die that way?'' and that means EVERYTHING#EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGG!!! OZ IS RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!! frankly should more have happened with her lategame YES!!! but she frankly CANNOT BE#IRRELEVANT EVERRR- lots to think about in terms of the girls' character writing in PH lottie really gets me a ton in terms of what was trie#that I could see and what didnt happen and the mild disappointment and the potential LOTTIE IS SO COOLLLLL but her intro. ack and more-#GENUINELY GOOD I COULD SEE THE ATTEMPT AND WHERE IT WAS TRYING TO GO A TO B MAKES SENSE AND IS ULTIMATELY HEARTFELT BUT THE EXECUTION WAS S#OOOOOO not the best lol. like her a ton cute design could/wished it could be better- lily is perfectly serviceable but relegated to being#cute and reactive after her moment which works but more would be better/coolerrrrr#hated levi. this point is irrelevant but I just remembered him and I loathe his ass. choke.
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cutearose · 2 years
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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vaugarde · 2 years
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oh also we watched the mlp g5 movie yesterday and i really liked it tbh ^^ it was very cute and vibrant and all the character designs were pleasing (in fact i really prefer looking at these characters in cgi), and izzy was my favorite, tbh i kinda just love every character kimiko glenn voices
#racism metaphor was very clunky and i cant really say too much on it but like i didnt have much hope that it wouldnt be clunky#so i just focused on the characters and yeah i think theyre all really good ^^#but like. we talked abt this a lot but man i REALLY wish this wasnt in the g4 continuity#not just bc it doesnt make sense but bc conceptually it feels like such an insecure decision#like this world wasnt good enough to warrant being its own thing. it had to be a continuation#even tho the lore and such is clearly different from g4. like i feel like they wanted to make it standalone like the other series#but they panicked and thought ppl wouldnt care if twilight wasnt there. but i feel like all it does is hinder both series#bc no one wanted this to be where g4 ended up and it keeps g5 from doing its own thing bc it has to connect to g4#like im not opposed to the wind creatures (not saying their name) not showing up bc they suck in the first place#but writing wise its weird to not even mention them at all when it was important to the worldbuilding#did the ponies just love being racist that much that they killed the wind creatures??#if it was me and i HAD to make it the same continuity id probably have put this in the past instead of the future#but then we couldnt have ponies on phones ig#or epic g4 references#im gonna try out the show but im like hmmmm bc lex said the show was a lot worse abt this#i swear the movie itself was good and i liked it! but i can see easily see the lost potential#and how g4 is going to keep holding it back and refusing to let it be its own thing#echoed voice
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ghostlypawn · 2 years
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matilda musical very good but not the masterpiece ppl r saying it is idk...
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aria0fgold · 7 months
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I always wondered how anyone was able to write something with more than 5k words when I'd always struggle with it but now with how this mhyk fic is going I'm like: I understand. Also I feel like my writing has improved somehow? Which I'm really REALLY happy for.
#aria rants#its easier for me to put my thoughts to words now that it felt like i was on a roll. and tbf the fic's story being more on the lighthearted#chaotic side helped a lot with that cuz i can just go ham with it but like going from one scene to the next was easier for me today somehow#honestly really proud and happy to see myself improve in writing too cuz its the first skill im rlly proud of myself for#like when i was a kid i was first an art kid. id draw mermaids and stuff in my notebook with a pencil but after i tried out writing#just focused all on writing instead and for the longest time. i wasnt actually confident with my writing so much so that there were#moments where id think back to the past and wished that i kept going with art instead of writing cuz it felt like the years#ive spent on writing was a waste in a way where i didnt improve anything at all. also didnt help that i chose to keep writing#using 1st pov which is ngl. a wrong move with how really difficult it was to pull off esp as a beginner#it wasnt until last year that i began to grow a lil confident with my writing enough to post bout it (omori fics and all that)#and tbh! i am confident bout it now too! and happy that im pursuing art as well and improving on BOTH!#its the best thing and im rlly happy with how everything is going for me. i got great friends that im so happy to have made#a new and old skill that im making improvements and also growth for my own self too >:3#anyway i fooled you all this was actually a heartfelt message in disguise mwahahahahaha
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piplupod · 11 months
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do the "rbs > likes" and "reblogs are appreciated" and "reblog it if you like it!!" footers ever help on art?? bc i feel like it more just annoys ppl than anything else fjfkdl and then u would end up getting less engagement than u would've normally ??
#i kind of avoid rbing that art tbh and that might make me a ''bad person'' but i don't like feeling like op is watching me like a hawk#if i like an art piece i will often queue it so that it has a chance of getting a second wave of being rbed around#and theres artists out there who say shit like ''if you like this and DON'T rb it then I'm blocking you'' so i end up not interacting w it#at all. when i would've normally just liked the piece and then queued it fhdkdl. so. idk.#it just feels very hostile and pushy? idk i understand how frustrating it can be for sure#my art doesn't ever get rbed except by like two friends and sometimes if i make it appealing to a wide enough audience then i get 2 more rbs#so i Understand. but i dont think being pushy and Telling ppl to rb ur art is the way to go about it... idk!!#to each their own ofc but heres my thoughts ig fjdkdl i just Wonder about it sometimes when i see it#I think this may also be the autism for me bc i often have a rly hard time doing things when someone Tells me to do it#pathological demand avoidance or whatever. idk if i can rly say i Have that but i experience smth similar at least#and maybe thats on me to work thru. but fhdkdl idk i just. ough. i wish this wasnt a thing at all i wish everyone could get what they wanted#i dislike this entire debate tbh djfkdl bc i see both sides and idk what the solution is or if there even is one#it might just be one of those things where it just Exists and theres no fix for it and we all just gotta cope with it#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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strawbebyjam · 1 year
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back 2 missing it 👍🏼
#dreams are evil sometimes#i didn’t realize how much its like. ripples would ripple on but i’ve been in the same zombie daze as before with the. random thoughts#n little like. ideas to my own detriment that just make me wish things would like. bippity boppity boo themselves perfect or at least okay#like it’s fine and i’ll be fine but it’s also. so different GDJDHDH#like sometimes it really feels like i woke up in the wrong timeline GDJDHDDH#like that one fragment thats like. my hope says this isnt how its meant to be and the world says but this is how it is#like it really feels like that sometimes because it just#like it doesn’t feel. right. it doesn’t make sense. i was supposed to make things better. but i feel like i’ve left all worse than i met it#i remember initially feeling so sure that i didn’t regret any of it regardless of where things went#but then i think of the guilt i’ve created too in the midst of all of it and like. i wonder if i can truly honestly say#that having what was had was worth what i have or mightve left them with#like the cost unto myself is worth it but i don’t feel like the cost unto them was#but more than anything i’m just. sad? like it wasn’t. i know there was little i couldve done but it still just. feels like i.#dunno#in any case dreams are. horrible sometimes and it sucks DHDHDHD at least give me. some sort of escapism. and not#like. watching what could be Not Be and then watching what probably will be and gettibg zoom ins on how different it is#i know im supposed to be open to new. anything. but its just. like. it feels so wrong HDJDHD like it wasnt supposed to be. someone else.#i’m just. mad at how things canve so unfair. again. and i held myself back from dwelling on it for 2 days#so i’m gonna let myself cry about it and then i’m going to get water and then i’ll decide if i ever wanna consider it again#mano.mindtalk#neg
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tobicup · 2 months
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Dcxdp
Just thinking of like a demon twins au where danny finds out damian is no longer under their grandfathers rule and goes to visit him in ghost form.
And damian is grieving all over again. Because thats his little brother, dead at his hands. Never able to grow up and live a full life. Just this weird mirror version of it. And now that damians embraced his fathers way of preserving life it feels even more of a waste and he mourns the experiences they could've had together. It felt like less of a blow when he was still in the league and surviving wasnt much of a life. Danyal was most likely happier at rest then there, but now? Now damian wishes they had more time.
Danny not realizing hes forgotten to tell his brother hes actually still alive. keeps saying that damian should come with him. See his home, meet his friends, Etc. Damian thinking danyal wants to drag him to the afterlife. Considers it even, because he owes him that much. Scared by his own thoughts and telling bruce or dick about it. And theyre both grief stricken and furious. Just this whole misunderstanding snowballing. Another son but one whos been lost before they could ever meet. One theyd never been able to know. Who never got the chance to be a child before his time was cut short. And everyone wanting to find a way to lay danny to rest without him stealing damian away too. Bruce desperate to meet this imprint of a son he never met but terrified of it taking away the son he still has.
Lol thinking of like 100 ways this could go.
Bruce calling in constantine. Danny feeling betrayed that they called someone to banish him? He thought damian would be happy to see him? Would accept him. Thought he could meet his father as well.
Or
Damian making him a grave and showing him that he can "rest" now like hed never been properly laid to rest with the league. Danny thinking its either a) a funny joke or b) finally realizes whats going on.
Or
damian offering to go with him as long as hes able to come back? He still wants to live his life and there are others in dcu who can go between realms (sorta i guess?) Danny being like yeah? No duh we'll come back xD damian being like??? When he sees amity lol.
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ruairy · 1 year
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#been playing dqxi recently#yes 10000 years late whatever#up until a certain point in the story i was like yeah i guess this game is good but its a pretty generic jrpg plot#the reviews saying it was the best game ever are a bit exaggerated :/#then i got to the tree abd uh#well ok#i was expecting soemthting to go wrong but i was like oh someones gonna steal my orbs or the sword or whatever#instead i got catastrophic world ending event#well!!!!!!!!!!!#i really liked the little side plots where u olay as the other party members for a while after everyone gets seperated!!!#truly do wish jades plot wasnt boiled down to getting objectified and forced to wear a sexy bunny girl outfit but#what was i expecting really#sylvando is the Love of my Life!!!!! thought i would hate him and his stupid clown outfit at first but nope#perfect good time boy i adore u#also erik ......i am crying blob emoji over u#what do u meán he lost all his memories fuck off!!!!!!!!!#also the lack of clserena and veronica has me so concerned#eap after that whole Hey i hope we die at he same time :) line#i know forshadowing when i see it and i do not like that at all#my only other criticism is that main guy is just a standing man emoji#hes giving nothing!!!!!!!! his outfit is ugly!!!!!!! purple and green?????#annoys me to no end that he has a whole personality and a voice actor when hes a kid but as an adult hes just 🧍#like im not a Huge fan of silent personalityless protag in games where u can't make the protag ur own character#link doesn't count dont @ me about him#i dont think it usually works in games like this idk#its fine!!!!! i just think he should have been his own guy instead of just being There#id certainly care about him a lot more lmao#alsooo Hendrik and jasper ex bfs plot wowie#ok im done with this episode of me talkign about a game and no one cares but i have nowhere else to talk about games wheee#wait also protag and erik are in love ok bye
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Lucky Girl Syndrome!! / theodore nott x fem reader
playlist : lucky girl syndrome - illit
summary : y/n has always been just a lucky person , in her acedemics , looks , friends , family and even in her general day to day. however she wasnt so fortunate when it came to her love life...but maybe it wasnt luck chasing love away , but instead someone close to her?
y/n , slytherin reader , fluff , swearing , arguing , jealous theo, anrgy theo and reader
a/n - as an extremely unlucky person- this fic gave me inner peace LMAOO
thats that me espresso! (another theo fic)
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you walked happily though the halls , narrowly missing a prank set up by the weasley twins as their failed trick of a water bucket soaked them and left you completely dry. how lucky!
"i swear there is something wrong with that girl like she has some kind of force feild!" george sighed in frustration , their 3rd prank of the week failing to actually get you.
"God has favourites georgie, he has favourites ," fred patted georges back as they both sulked away to dry their now drenched clothes.
of course you were olbivous to the whole thing! your stroll down the hallway continued , the sun hitting your face in just the right way as you reached the great hall , practically skipping to the slytherin table.
"hi guys!" you exclaimed excited as you sat down at just the right time to ignore the apple that had just come flying at your head.
hearing the apple crash to the ground you turned again , confused seeing the apple roll around on the ground.
"shit , sorry y/n i was aiming for harry but he dodged!" ron shouted apologetically across the room.
"dont worry r-" you started until you were interuppted by your best friend theo besides you, who held a cold glare at ron.
"do that again and it wont be an apple flying at your head weasley!" theodore shouted at him as ron awkwardly looked away.
"dont theo , it was an accident," you said putting a hand on his arm as he immediatly softened.
"youre too kind y/n you shouldve been in hufflepuff," pansy said with a sigh.
"green suits me more," you smiled at pansy as she giggled ,"besides i can be quite mean when i want to be."
"youre not wrong about that , you nearly broke my ribs with that bludger in quidditch!" draco complained , still not letting go of a quidditch incident from 2nd year.
"draco i really wish you would get over that , it was my first match i was nervous and thought you were on the other team," you sighed starting to eat your food.
draco grumbled in response until the whole table turned around to look at something behind you, in confusion you turned too and saw a ravenclaw boy in your year.
"hi y/n i was just wondering if maybe you would-" the boy , named david, started to speak until catching his eye on something besides you. waiting for him to carry on he instead shuddered with fear and backed away instantly , practically running back to the ravenclaw table.
"david!" you tried to call after him , but instead he walked faster , sitting himself down and avoiding eye contact at all costs.
"the fuck? what...what did i do?" you asked your friends frantically , knowing that he intended to ask you out before he suddenly stopped.
"you didnt do anything sweet y/n ," matheo started before shifting his eyes to theodore next to you, "maybe a greater force got in the way?"
confused by his choice of words you looked back at david , a look he didnt return. in frustration you held your head in your hands and groaned , "im so unlucky!"
"i wouldnt say that," blaise scoffed as the whole friendgroup nodded , knowing luck was not your lack.
"no i mean unlucky in love! david was clearly going to ask me out but just like the gryffindor from last week he couldnt even finish his scentence and ran!" you sighed , venting your anger to your friends.
"yeah well you can do much better," theodore remarked in a cold tone , his eyes still peircing where a shaking david sat. as you watched theodore stare and david cower , everything seemed to click into place.
"theodore!" you snapped at him , making him finally turn and look at you , "yknow sometimes i think that you drive them away!"
"you think!" lorenzo scoffed as pansy smacked him on the arm , quickly shutting him up.
"i havent done anything, its not my fault he ran off , what could i have done?!" theodore argued back as the rest of your friend group watched him in disbelief , knowing he drove david , the guy from gryffindor and every guy ever, away.
you scoffed ,"oh really so you didnt death stare him? he clearly looked at you before running!"
"wow i didnt know you would get so touchy about david the ravenclaw!" he said in a mocking tone as you both seethed with anger.
"read the room theodore for fucks sake! maybe i do want to go on a date , maybe i wouldve said yes! i didnt notice at first , how every guy just bolted as soon as he looked at some mysterious thing next to me , now i realise it was you probably doing a cut throat gesture!" , you ranted at theodore as draco tried to hold in his laugh.
"maybe he had an epiphany about you or something!" theodore tried to argue back , all of you knowing he couldnt really deny anything you said , it was all true.
"what- you think its me driving them away? stay out of my love life theo its none of your fucking business!" you harshly shouted your final remark before getting up from the table and stomping out of the great hall.
"there goes that mean streak i was just talking about," draco mutters , shaking his head and continuing to eat his food.
the table sat in silence for a few second before mattheo spoke up again, "you kinda deserved that."
"fuck off!" theodore snapped as he jumped up and strode after you , and out the great hall.
----
walking into your dormroom you threw your robe off of you and loosened your tie , trying to lose some of the heat from your argument.
pacing the room your thoughts were interrupted as the door burst open , theodore walking in and standing in front of you , keeping a fair distance as you stared back at him.
"what do you want now theo!! do you want to control my friendships? maybe throw a glare and a threat at enzo and draco and maybe they'll stop talking to me aswell!" you shouted at him loudly now, as venom dripped from your words.
he stepped towards you quickly , as you tried to back away- he grabbed the sides of your face delicatly.
"i want you," he said , his voice just above a whisper as your heart burst into flames , the heat dispersing itself across your cheeks.
"d-.. theo dont say thing you dont- that you know you dont mean," you said avoiding his gaze , shaking your head as your voice had dropped to an insecure mumble.
"y/n i have only ever wanted you , i glare and i threaten and i hate the boys that ask you out because i want you. i need you." he said softly , pulling your face closer to his , forcing you to hold eye contact.
"theo i-" you started as he cut you off quickly.
"please if youre going to reject me just know....know that ill tell david to ask you out , ill never do anything to intercept love for you again. i promise , just please... let me down easy.." he spoke quietly , insecurity and sadness seeping though his words.
this time it was you that softly garbbed his face and lifted his eyes to meet yours , "theo...maybe i didnt realise it until now but...i have always liked you."
his sadness faded as he looked at you with shock , his silence allowing you to continue in a lighthearted way, "maybe ive glared at a few girls too , unknowingly of course!"
you both laughed at this as he looked at you like you painted the stars into the pitch black sky , "im sorry for pushing those guys away...well not really but more like im sorry that you got sad about it"
you laughed again before allowing yourself to get lost in his eyes , the green like that of a four leaf clover- rare yet so beautiful , "maybe im not so unlucky in love afterall , it was right there in front of me the whole time."
he smiled at you with adoration before pulling you into a sweet , loving kiss. fortune was on your side today , as it brought you your luckiest pull yet , theodore nott.
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