#it obviously has a very very different tone from s1 (or at least the beginning of season 1)

[lesbianpegbar]

What are your thoughts on season 2 so far??? I’m still a bit worried about lg… but idc about that BECAUSE QIAO LING!!!!! WITH THE STEEL POLE!!!

yeah <3

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

Honestly, I think I’ve discovered the actual reason Amber and Alfie don’t work in HOA like they work in the original HHA or DHA. And it’s not entirely due to the actual canon events that are written for this version of the pairing (the dating handbook, Amber’s “no” to Alfie’s attempt at breaking up, forcing Amber into the trial relationship in the first place, etc., etc.), though it certainly doesn’t help. It actually comes down to how their characters were adapted for the English version of the show, and how they are fundamentally different than the OGs.

I’ll start with Alfie first. Alfie in HOA is a goober. He’s doofy, well-meaning, and most importantly childlike. Not even just childish, but childlike. He’s boyish and bubbly, and he certainly makes some weird, sorta sexual comments (especially in S1), but on the whole he’s quite an innocent character. Essentially, he reads as very young. Which he is, especially at the start of the show where he’s probably supposed to be about 15/16, but could even be as young as 14.

Appie, on the other hand, is also a goober. But a different type. He’s honestly way more like Jeroen than Alfie is like Jerome, meaning he’s a something of a womanizer, a bit douchier, and on the whole reads a lot older than Alfie, which I’m almost certain is canonical across all characters (with HHA characters supposedly ending the show at the age of 19, with the timeline across the 4 seasons being only two years— three at most).

The few things character-wise both Appie and Alfie share intrinsically are that they’re besties with Jeroen/Jerome who doesn’t always treat him well, his love for a good practical joke, and (in earlier seasons) his pining for Amber. Of course, Appie also goes through phases of being a bit of a ladies man (see his random interest in Mara), but on the whole these things are constant. But already, the English version of the character is a lot more twinkly eyed and is like “Amber’s really pretty, I hope she notices me” as opposed to the Dutch “Damn she’s hot, lemme tap that”. It’s very subtle, because he’s obviously not a sleazy, bad guy, but it’s though being friend zoned by Amber (for the whole series) that Appie begins to loosen up and be less of a sleaze and more of the silly and whimsical guy we know him as; that’s because of Dutch Amber’s characterization.

I’ll come back to why all that matters, after I discuss the Ambers. (For the sake of keeping track, I’ll refer to them by their last names). Rosenbergh is a rich, pretty, ditzy party girl, but she’s incredibly perceptive. She sniffs out bullshit in an instant, especially with the Mick and Mara situation, but overall she has wicked foot-in-mouth syndrome and just sorta blurts out the first thing that pops into her head even if it’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heart in your life. She’s extravagant, over-the-top, full of whimsy, and is downright silly. Rosenbergh is simultaneously a ditz and very smart. Simultaneously is the key word here.

Millington is not. She is a much more toned down version of her OG counterpart, and I think that is mostly due to the different actresses takes on the character. This isn’t to say, Millington isn’t any of the those of adjectives I used earlier, but the difference between the English and the Dutch versions of the character is that while Rosenbergh is both smart and ditzy, Millington is simply smart and plays at being ditzy. At least that’s how it reads, and how it reads is incredibly important in this case. Millington would never be caught dead in some of the situations Rosenbergh found herself in, because she’s a fundamentally more uptight version of the character.

So why does all this matter? Because the version of Alfie that we get from the very start is far more like Appie after a good hunk of his subtle character development— far more like Amber Rosenbergh. Amber Millington, on the other hand, is not the type of girl to ever mesh that well with a wild, goofy personality like Alfie’s. She’s just not. Alfie would work super well with Rosenbergh, however, because she’s this whimsical girl with a lot of heart. It’s why Appie works so well with her, too.

This isn’t a diss of HOA!Amber, by the way, because her English characterization is a masterful adaptation of the OG, but there’s a reason why even in S3 of HOA, at the supposed established point of Amfie’s relationship, they still feel so estranged from each other. At the end of the day, Millington has a different outlook on life and an entirely different mindset than Alfie. This isn’t to say they couldn’t work ever, but they’re just not the same pairing that Amber/Appie are.

It also didn’t help that Amfie had no best friends era. Like, sometimes I think we forget that Amber and Appie didn’t get together until the reunion movie. Like they weren’t a canon couple in the series. He liked her, but she didn’t like him back and they were besties. Their chemistry was chaotic and silly, and they had to grow into each other for them to work. Which is why they work. Amber and Alfie never did that, and part of me wonders if that wasn’t entirely because of the plot the English writers put down for them, but rather because the was Ana and Alex played the characters off each other just didn’t allow for it.

Which brings me to my last point: Willow. Arguably, Willow is more like HHA!Amber than HOA!Amber is, and that’s all because of the magic word I’ve been using this whole, poorly-written essay: whimsy. Willow is the glitterbomb to Alfie’s fuse. Their dynamic feels exactly the same as Appie and Amber because Willow is the writers’ second attempt at having Amber Rosenbergh in the picture, and that’s why Walfie works so much more naturally.

Anyway, this got long and I’m sure I missed stuff but yeah. TL;DR: Amfie was unable to replicate Ampie bc they’re just different

[harmonicabisexuals]

Season 5 rewatch thoughts: 

(idk if anyone actually reads these but idc I like writing them lmao)

overall thoughts: this was a shorter season (only 20 episodes) but it didn’t feel like it for some reason and I can’t decide if that’s good or bad lol. the distance between “Redux” and “The End” feels enormous though, and I think it’s bc you can really divide this season into three distinct sections: the cancer arc climax of Redux/Redux II, post-cancer arc (Detour, The Post-Modern Prometheus), and post Christmas Carol/Emily arc, that all have a very different tone from each other. obviously the main overarching theme this season is mulder and scully’s role reversals of believer vs. skeptic, but this season also deals a lot with trust in a way that I found similar to earlier episodes (particularly “wetwired” in regards to “the pine bluff variant”) but where the themes manifest in a different way bc the M/S relationship has changed so much even just from the beginning of the season

msr: redux/redux II is earth-shattering for so many reasons but imo this is the point where i think it’s solidified for both of them that they are IT for each other like there is no possible way they can imagine a future without the other in it. (now I don’t think they think the other feels the same way as they do lol but it’s a confirmation of their own feelings at least) but, coming to this realization is deeply painful especially considering the emily arc, scully’s chip, mulder’s disbelief, and just the weight of their work and the x files in general- made all the worse bc it is impossible for them to separate their work from their love for each other. the ouroboros of it all!! “folie a deux” is the culmination of the horror show of their current relationship, and diana in the following episode further takes an axe to it, particularly for scully. I also don’t think it’s completely fair to say that mulder alone stopped anything from happening in “detour” bc scully also did the same thing in “emily” when she refused mulder’s comfort (understandably, she was probably still pissed at him, but as she told the social worker, she was also keeping him at arms length for her own protection). who knows if things would have been different if that hadn’t had happened, but I think her rejection of him makes their distance from each other in the rest of the season bc of their changing beliefs feel even more isolating. I thought s4 was bad for angst, but whew! also, no hugs this season, and almost no physical affection after the cancer arc except for small moments in “the red and the black”, “all souls”, “folie a deux”, and “the end”.

writing: vince gilligan is a god!!! though he (and tim minear) had a tiny flop with “kitsunegari”. I also love his attention to continuity by having mulder wear a bandage on his finger in “folie a deux”, it makes it even darker when you consider mulder was ~this close~ to dying probably not even a week apart...no wonder he’s so grumpy lmao. I also was very impressed with john shiban in “the pine bluff variant” considering I normally can’t stand his solo writing episodes (like “teso dos bichos” is thee worst episode of the series i’m sorry)

directing: I miss rob bowman :(( but “kill switch” and “the pine bluff variant” were absolute VIBES and I can’t wait for FTF. the non manners/bowman direction was mostly fine, but the only other directors that stuck out to me were chris carter for “the post modern prometheus” and “the red and the black” (where he was imitating bowman i think) and r.w. goodwin for “the end”. also lots of close up shots of mulder’s eyes this season! big fan!

hair: great hair from both of them, and the most consistent (probably bc of FTF) early s4 scully hair and s1/s3 mulder hair is still my favorite tho lol

favorite episodes: Redux II, Detour, Christmas Carol/Emily, Kill Switch, Bad Blood, The Pine Bluff Variant, Folie a Deux, The End

70% worth rewatching imo (surprising bc there were a lot of episodes I LOVED but there was a lot of filler too, probably bc of FTF filming)

individual episode reactions under the cut:

Redux- good, but very exposition heavy

Redux II- literally being shot in the chest would be less painful. Amazing.

Unusual Suspects- Lone Gunman origin story. No Scully :(

Detour- thee quintessential x files episode. iconique.

The Post Modern Prometheus- great gowns, beautiful gowns. Bad story.

Christmas Carol- ahhhh :(((( Scully looks hot tho, and love Melissa reappearance 

Emily- Scully :(((((( 

Kitsunegari-  kind of dumb and unnecessary, pusher is perfect without it :/

Schizogeny- okay Lorax killer trees episode…boring

Chinga- fun lil stephen king vibes™️ episode, bored weekend mulder is hilarious

Kill Switch- Scully is bisexual confirmed, vibes>>>>

Bad Blood- one of the funniest episode of the series methinks. obsessed.

Patient X- yikes…mulder is kind of an asshole? role reversal

The Red and the Black- unintentionally hilarious? but also deeply sad

Travelers-boring, almost no M/S, but Mulder was randomly married???

Mind’s Eye- mehhhhh

All Souls- decent, scully catholicism episode

The Pine Bluff Variant- yooooo!! really good and suspenseful!

Folie a Deux- Vince Gilligan has done it again!!!!

The End- screammm so good

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 62 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 314 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 303 Responses

There was an interesting contrast this week between anime only viewers’ and manga readers’ reaction to the episode. Anime only viewers overwhelmingly felt positively about the episode. But for manga manga readers, many of the cuts in the anime dampened their enjoyment of the episode, and for some ruined it entirely. Still, overall, the episode got positive reception, even if it wasn’t overwhelmingly enthusiastic. 

a little rushed but still very enjoyable. it defo got the point across about Reiner's struggles

It was... Fine. I'll give it a solid 8/10 on emotional value and finally seeing these chapters animated. But accepting that the anime and manga are not the same and that there will be cuts is hard.

Wasn't very good. The cut scenes really hurt the pacing and overall story.

i thought the pacing was way too fast :(

Stunning. Beautiful 

Another great episode. My only criticisms are the music that was used at the beginning of the episode, which didn't really work, and the cuts but I understand why that had to happen.

Disappointing

Impeccable. The adaption was both efficient and emotionally effective. Zero misses so far - I'm officially a MAPPA ho. 

Really great! Feels different from the manga and makes me excited for future episodes, because even if it's not perfect, we will always have the original material + some fun new scenes that the anime is adding, can't wait for more

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 304 Responses

The much-anticipated scene where we learn amputee-kun is actually Eren was the most favored of the episode, with 37.5% of the vote. Following behind that with more narrow margins were the introduction to Marley’s titans, Annie and Reiner’s fight and Reiner’s suicide attempt. 

The first part was very rushed and I wasn't as impressed by it. But I was very impressed by the second part of the episode once the warrior kids made it to paradise. I also very much enjoyed how they animated the scene of Annie taking out her anger on Reiner after Marcel's death. There was just something about the use of colours that really appealed to me. 

The Reiner and Annie fight and Reiner's suicide disturbed me a lot more this time around, partially because I haven't read the chapters in a while, but this is easily one of my favorite episodes now.

WE GOT THE FULL ED LAST WEEK. AFTER SEEING IT IN ITS ENTIRETY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT NOW? 294 Responses

The majority of the fandom are enjoying the new ending, with 65.6% loving both the song and the animation. 11.2% are enjoying the song… but not so much the animation. 11.9% feel that it’s “just okay.” Some are enjoying the animation, but not the song, and a few more dislike both. 

The song and the animation are truly beautiful and gorgeous. I couldn't imagine better. It is always so peaceful after the full of emotions episode. 

Beautiful song, although the bit with the streaks of shiny animation look like 480p and are a little boring. 

I didn't see it 

Bold of you to assume I watch the EDs and don't just skim ahead to the preview.

i'm not interested in the ending

There was a half ED?

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5, HOW MUCH DID YOU ENJOY THE SEQUENCE INTRODUCING ALL OF MARLEY’S TITANS? 303 Responses

A very tiny fraction of voters weren’t impressed with the way MAPPA executed the scene that introduces us to the Marley titans and why each warrior was picked for the titans they received. However, the majority of respondents felt very positively about the scene, with 221 even feeling they, too, will become a titan as a result of the awesomeness. 

I really liked the marley titan montage but why the hell were the female titan's boobs so big? It looked so out of poportion

It was awesome and I loved the introduction to the Titans

OUT OF ALL THE TITANS THE MARLEY MILITARY HAD 9 YEARS AGO, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE? 299 Responses

Whether it’s for practicality or aesthetic reasons, we all have different titans that appeal to us more than others. This race was a close one, with the Female Titan holding on just slightly over the Jaw Titan in terms of favoritism. The Armored Titan came in at a distant third with the Beast Titan and Colossal closely behind. Only a very small fraction would like to inherit the Cart Titan from Piku-chan.

WHICH OG WARRIOR CANDIDATE WOULD YOU WANT TO ADOPT? 299 Responses

Overall, the majority (29.1%) wouldn’t want to adopt any of the OG warrior crew, whether because the responsibility is too much or because they don’t like kids at all (or perhaps, a missing third option being they don’t like any of them). But for those who would happily take on one of the OG warrior kiddos, 24.1% would most like to take Reiner home (and probably give him lots of hugs). 21.1% adore little Pieck and would shower her with parental love forever. 9.7% probably want to pinch little Bertolt’s cheeks, and 8.4% wish they’d adopted Annie instead of her father.

A LOT OF THE SHIGANSHINA BREACH HAS REUSED WIT ANIMATION FROM PAST EPISODES - THOUGHTS? 303 Responses

The majority of respondents felt positively enough about seeing WIT’s S1 style mixed in with MAPPA’s, with 42.9% feeling it flowed together well enough, and 26.4% understanding why they didn’t reanimate the event (despite preferring it if they had). 11.2% don’t care at all, and 8.6% think it was way too jarring. There are some who are reminded that they miss WIT’s style, and others who have a continued appreciation for MAPPA.

KAJI YUKI HAS LOWERED HIS VOICE A BIT TO DEPICT AN OLDER EREN. THOUGHTS? 301 Responses

Overall, nearly everyone seems to be pleased with Kaji Yuki’s more “mature” sounding Eren, with 76.4% feeling he is portraying an older and more jaded Eren perfectly. 11.6% are lost in their lust for a 2D drawing and are focused entirely on that (we understand lol). A few are simply indifferent to the lower tone, and a smaller percentage just prefer Eren’s voice prior to the timeskip. 

Anime onlys can spot him more difficult, which I like

Made sense to me, he’s not a teenager anymore after all, plus works better for this “new” Eren who’s less angry and shouty all the time.

I didn't even notice lol

Eren is adult so changing his voice was a very good choice. I like his new sound.

It was stupid that he ever talked so low before now. He was fifteen and he sounded like an adult, well they all do that bc it's standard anime shit but it makes it even harder when they become real adults.

NOW HE REALLY SOUNDS LIKE KENMA 🔥

WE’VE LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TIMES WE’VE SEEN MARCEL GET EATEN. BUT OF THE OPTIONS BELOW, WHO DID IT BEST? 296 Responses

Seeing Marcel get eaten 2000 times seems to be a running gag at this point, so naturally we had to include this question. Whether it’s recency bias or objectively true, 44.6% feel that MAPPA’s take on Marcel’s death was the best. 30.4% feel that Isayama’s more recent art style truly does Marcel the most justice. 14.2% liked the way WIT Studio portrayed the scene and 10.8% like Isayama’s older, more grungy art style.

RIP Marcel

DO YOU THINK THAT REINER WAS CORRECT, THAT MARLEY WOULD HAVE HAD ALL OF RBA EATEN IF THEY HAD FOUND YMIR AND RETURNED HOME IMMEDIATELY? 292 Responses

In the hypothetical scenario that Reiner hadn’t convinced Annie and Bertolt to stay on the island, the majority feel that Reiner was wrong in his assessment that they would be executed practically on-site. 55.1% believe that the idea would have been out in the open, but ultimately rejected. Though, 35.6% feel that Marley is too ruthless and uncaring toward Eldians to care what the situation is, and would absolutely hand over their titans to others deemed more capable. Very few felt Marley would be understanding by default. Many write-ins feel that Reiner is the only one who would have been executed for the failure. 

Depends on if B/A emphasize that it was Reiner’s fault rather than their own.

If all of RBA got eaten then I think they wouldn’t use kids for their next attempt. Maybe teens around the age RBA were after training in Paradis military

Magath would have pointed out how wasteful it would have been, but probably even him couldn't have saved reiner

He was wrong. What would be the point of feeding them to other children, if they were the best candidates? Too much of work. 

Reiner said that there's a possibility that they couldn't find Ymir even if they try. He has a point. But I don't think Marley would have RBA eaten even if they lose Jaw.

They wouldn't go through with it because they seem to lack other qualified warrior candidates.

I think Magath and maybe Zeke would have tried to convince the government to not go through with it and that Reiner might have been the only one sacrificed.

Obviously. They would have indisputable proof that sending a bunch of kids to carry out a massively important mission is the dumbest shit they could have ever done and immediately they'd put the titans into older soldiers.

They'd let them live a few more years just for propaganda and used them for other battles, then they'd have them killed around their midterm.

Possibly, but they put a lot of time, effort, and money into training their warriors. It would be a big decision to execute all of them and start over. Maybe they would have executed Reiner as an example.

WHAT’S THE FORECAST FOR TONIGHT? 295 Responses

In our least-serious question of the poll, we asked you guys to try and predict the weather based on Bertolt’s sleeping pose. 18.3% believe his legs-on-the-wall pose means clear skies, 13.9% are certain it means rain. 13.6% are confident in an overcast night. At 11.5% foresee storms coming and 11.2% think it’s gonna be snow. 18% are probably just annoyed with the question. A few write-ins pointed out that Bertolt was, indeed, sleeping in the Hanged Man Pose.

It’s gonna be partly guilt ridden old man with a 90% chance of suicide by hanging

Blood and guts

HOW IS THAT EVEN COMFORTABLE?

Let's just call it hail

Hanged man posture, dreamed about the old man

raining titans

No one can make me like the warriors even if I don't blame them for what they were forced to do as kids. idc what quirky habits they have.

There'll be clear skies for some time but don't be deceived, heavy rain is incoming

This was amazing because it's a reference to The Hanging Man on Tarot cards: he's willingly being hanged for his sins. Look it up, it's so cool.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAPPA CUTTING A GOOD CHUNK OF REINER’S TRAINING? 302 Responses

With only 20(ish) minutes to fit in all of Reiner’s backstory, cuts were inevitable. MAPPA made the decision to nerf most of Reiner’s struggles training as a Warrior Cadet (among a couple other more lengthy scenes during and after the wall breach). 62.9% are sad that some of these scenes didn’t make the cut, but also understand that we can’t have it all. 13.2% actually preferred seeing Reiner’s backstory in MAPPA’s condensed version, while 12.9% feel it completely ruins the characterization of the warriors.

I don't even remember what was cut 😂

Slightly ruined the warriors’ characterisations (especially Reiner’s)

I thought they could have shown a bit more about Reiner's underdog, it's something that really made me sympathise with him in the manga. 

Kinda disappointed, since some scenes were essential for a little background on their lives

Honestly, even after all the cuts and the restrains it tells the story of a "warrior", Reiner.

Mappa fucked RBA backstory and I would bet it's because they are biased towards Eren and 104th...

I wouldn't say it ruined their characterisation, but it did leave it a lot more shallow. I would've loved to see those scenes animated, but I also realise that things will have to be cut to fit everything in, and I think these cuts still preserve the forward momentum of the story reasonably well. 

The important scenes were animated, so it's good that way

MAPPA cannot animate every panel and the best will be, if fandom finally understands that. Every episode has limited amount of time and MAPPA is doing everything they can to make episodes good and easy to understand for anime onlies. I was fine with cutting because I know that episodes aren't long and there are more important stuff to animate than every part of training.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT NOT SEEING ANNIE PARTICIPATING IN THE FIRST WALL BREACH? 298 Responses

MAPPA completely glossed over Annie’s role in the wall breach, showing her being choked by Reiner and then waking up in the refugee camp later. 40.9% state they would have preferred seeing Annie play her part in the mission, though they accept that it isn’t there. 34.6% are concerned that those who don’t read the manga will just be confused as to where Annie was during all of the chaos (Oh no! Did RB leave her passed out in the fields!?). 16.1% are simply just disappointed altogether. A small fraction felt it wasn’t necessary anyway and have no problems with the cut. 

I feel kinda iffy about it because that was one of my favorite parts of the chapter, but oh well... it is what it is.

Kenny's scene should be eliminated.

I mean it's not like the female titan could destroy the walls herself. I think nobody expects it and then her absence makes sense

Yams did an oopsie in the first place retconing 

It really confused me lol for a moment I completely forgot what she even did in the manga and had to reread

KNOWING NOW THAT ANNIE IS ACTUALLY ADOPTED, DOES THE JOKE ABOUT HER BEING KENNY’S LOST DAUGHTER HIT DIFFERENTLY NOW? 299 Responses

We learn after Annie comes out of the crystal that her father is actually an adoptive parent. Annie, in an attempt to cover up why she’s stalking Kenny in the underground, claims (or jokes) that she was born to a brothel worker and is Kenny’s lost daughter. We asked if this made the joke any less funny to readers, though most of them didn’t think so at all. Only 14% of respondents say the new knowledge actually makes it a little sad. Some people forgot entirely that Annie is adopted and voiced their confusion in the write-ins. 

wait,,,,, she.,,,, she's adopted ??? wha- how did i completely forget about this

Kenny's gay anyway so it's impossible! Sorry, Annie :/

I don't really get this joke tbh 😅 Do people think she and Kenny look alike?

We're all Kenny's lost daughter

It just brings into question her true parentage, like how she can scream summon other Titans and if that’s a royal blood thing or not. But probably doesn’t matter since it hasn’t come up in the manga yet 

I hadn't thought about it before today.

She's adopted?!?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAPPA’S EXECUTION OF REINER’S ATTEMPTED SUICIDE? 302 Responses

With such a weighty scene, execution is of utmost importance. So we were curious if you guys felt that MAPPA hit the mark. Overall, MAPPA’s take on this scene got positive responses from the fandom, with 42.4% feeling they felt about the same as they did when the scene came up in the manga. 26.5% actually thought that MAPPA did a better job with the scene, whereas 26.2% felt that Isayama’s original take on the scene is still superior. 

I think that while the manga's intent is for the reader to feel Reiner's pain and emotions during what he thought were his last moments, the anime focuses much more on making it disturbing and depressing (both taking into account the same things, just choosing to highlight different aspects of the scene). Not a bad change but I prefer the manga's portayal, it made me feel so much more attached to Reiner

Actual scene was good, but the build up was lacking.

I really liked the flipping back and forth 

Not nearly as emotional as I expected

The lighting was so good in the anime version. 

Bruh we needed the flashbacks cause they depicted Reiner's journey and regrets

I think it was more impactful in the manga, but MAPPA did it amazing too

The scene looked more serious but the building of the characters didn't live up for the moment. 

It impacted me differently than in the manga. I prefer the manga scene, but the anime's was still really good

I was worried about it being overly censored so I’m glad it wasn’t 

The execution was about the same, but it had a bigger impact when you read it for the first time

The drool was a great touch

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING CUTS WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED DIDN’T MAKE THE EPISODE? 292 Responses

While we shouldn’t dwell on cuts too much, there will still be things that people are disappointed didn’t make it into the anime. The scenes which were most missed this week were Annie’s role in the wall breach, Reiner passing along a tired Annie over to Bertolt atop the wall, RBA discussing their infiltration plans in the field (also known as the tree-uprooting scene), seeing Bertolt, Annie and Marcel surpassing Reiner in their training, and Reiner breaking up Eren and Jean’s fight (noticing Annie is exhausted). Well, at least the manga still exists, right?

I wish they didnt cut some of the flashbacks right before Reiner tried to kill himself. 

Really great episode, but Bertholdt looking up at the wall before breaking it was such an iconic panel, I'm a bit sad

Any cuts are a negative. I dont care how much it makes sense for the anime onlies, I just wish they somehow incorporate some of the small slice of life scenes that made the Marley arc special.

Truly loved it despite cuts and pacing, but just wish we could’ve seen that tree uprooting scene!

I still hold the sentiment that Mappa is cutting way too much from these episodes. The amount of small details getting cut from every chapter/episode results in losing out on smaller moments that in my opinion have a real impact. While I understand a 1 to 1 replica might not be possible, the amount of cuts is too much imo. Missing out on nearly all of RBA assaulting Shiganshina was a huge disappointment, and less Falco and Gabi scenes makes it tough for me to connect to them. Talking to my Anime-only friends though, they are very into this season, so I'm glad to hear it works for them. 

I'm not necessarily sad they cut so much, I feel like as an Anime only I wouldn't have noticed! The only thing I wish that had been kept was Annie's involvement in the destruction of wall Maria. 

I was sad they cut stuff but that’s inevitable.  The only cut I’m sad about is the scene before Bertholdt  breaks the wall.

some of the cuts made sense, some made other scenes kind of occur out of nowhere, like annie with kenny.

SO FAR, WE’VE LOST A FEW INTERACTIONS BETWEEN FALCO AND GABI AND SOME MOMENTS WHERE FALCO IS BLUSHING OVER HER. DO YOU THINK THIS WILL LESSEN THE IMPACT OF HIS EVENTUAL LOVE CONFESSION TO HER? 296 Responses

While the Falbi romance isn’t a major focal point of the series, it does play a big part in their storyline and overall character development as their involvement in the plot increases. MAPPA has had to let a few scenes go, so we were curious if manga readers felt it would lessen the impact of Falco’s inevitable confession just before the rumbling starts. 31.4% feel that the anime is doing just fine at portraying Falco’s feelings. 28.4% feel the impact will be lessened, but that it’s fine due to it being a minor plot point anyway. 14.5% are upset about the missing pieces and 11.8% think MAPPA will make up for it later. Smaller groups of voters either don’t understand why Falco likes Gabi or just don’t care. 

I'm more dissapointed about Zofia and Udo getting cut than those two.

Kid romance is lame anyway

It's not gonna hit like the manga but it's still pretty important plot imo

What works on paper doesn't always work animated, they're doing ok 

I hate gabi gahh

It is obvious he likes her anyway

Not really, they've established he has a big crush on her since he pretty much came out and told it to Eren

DO YOU THINK MAPPA DID A GOOD JOB OF HIDING EREN IN PLAIN SIGHT? 297 Responses

We failed to ask this question last week, but it still applied well to this week’s episode. When it came to anime only fans, we wondered whether manga readers felt MAPPA did a good job at making him as mysterious to anime watchers as Isayama did to us manga readers. 40.1% felt that MAPPA did a great job, as many anime watchers didn’t seem to catch on. 25.6% feel that they didn’t do any worse or better than Isayama did. 13.8% feel MAPPA did not do as well as Isayama, as some anime watchers easily caught on. 9.4% think they did completely awful at pretending it’s not Eren. Some write-ins felt we couldn’t objectively judge this as we already knew it was Eren anyway. 

I think the voice gave it away the most. The sneaky animation was great! 

Hard to answer because chapters were a month apart while episodes are weekly and I’ve already read the manga when it came out

well, I can't say much about this. since I know he is eren, I was just focusing on how Kaji Yuki will handle this important speech

They even didn't try to hide him. I'm disappointed because I wanted anime onlines to feel what we - manga readers - felt, when after few chapters we found that the hobo man was Eren. 

I honestly didn't even realize he was supposed to be hidden from the readers/viewers at this point. It was so obviously him in the manga and the anime. Genuinely confused by how many people did not catch on. 

Watching some reactors they were like "...wait...that *looks* like Eren...but his leg is amputated...his leg would've grown back??" but as soon as you heard his voice it was instantaneous 

I, being a manga reader, had a hard time getting how you couldn't see that it was Eren, but some of my friend only got it at the last scene.

Hard to say. WIth the manga, it took me a few reads to catch on, but now that I KNOW, it's hard to say anything.

Yes, I'm watching the episodes with my anime-only friend and he still hasn't figured it out

I think they did a good job, but with anime being the medium it was easier to guess due to both hair/eye color and voice.

It was nice, I was actually surprised that some of my anime only friends didn't even realize that it was Eren talking to Falco this episode

When Eren was finally revealed in the manga, I was *shocked! I had *no clue that was him! I think the anime did a great job, but of course had to reveal him sooner. It was perfect both in manga and anime imo.

It's obviously him once you see his eyes, but I don't think that the animation team were trying to make it a big shock reveal, they want this scene to say "this is probably Eren, but can you be 100% sure" to keep anime onlys engaged and reassure them that the main cast is still relevant.

Yes, but the manga hid him better, it took me way too long to realise it was him while reading

HOW WAS KAJI YUKI’S DELIVERY ON EREN’S SPEECH TO FALCO? 299 Responses

The vast majority of respondents were very pleased with Kaji Yuji’s delivery on one of Eren’s most prominent speeches. 38.1% felt it was exactly as they had hoped it would be. 28.1% were extremely happy, and feel that any delivery by Kaji Yuki as Eren will be 100% spot-on. 24.7% are simply just content with it. Smaller fragments of respondents just wanted to voice their thirst, or felt that the delivery could have been better. 

Better than I could have ever imagined

I don't really care

Eren is the best main character ever

Not my native language so I can't really tell how good it is, but Kaji's delivery seemed about right

It was a bit fast but good

Very good. You get a real sense of how clueless but trying to be tough Eren really is.

EREN TELLS FALCO HE HOPES FALCO LIVES A LONG LIFE. KNOWING WHAT WE DO NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HIM SAYING THIS? 298 Responses

Eren already knows he will bring destruction upon the world, so it’s a wonder why he would bother telling Falco he hopes Falco will have a long life. 64.8% believe that he truly means it from the bottom of his heart, despite knowing his future actions will likely affect Falco. 10.7% believe he said this because he has already seen that Falco will survive the Rumbling. 10.1% aren’t really sure what to make of it at all. Smaller numbers of people think Eren was only trying to gain Falco’s trust and didn’t mean it at all, or believe that Falco will take part in Eren’s eventual demise and Eren is already aware of that. 

He saw him in his memories so imma believe what he says

I'm sure there is part of Eren that hopes for a good long life for Falco. Just like there was part of him that couldn't help but save the refugee kid. But that doesn't mean he isn't any less dedicated to his plan to genocide a whole lot of people. He has his conflicts, but in the end he's still going ahead with the attack on the square and later with the rumbling.

I think it's the same deal as him saving the immigrant kid when he knew that he would die in the rumbling.

In an ideal world Eren would want *everyone* to live a long life--he's been portrayed as someone who cries and disassociates while he commits his genocide so we're meant to understand he doesn't enjoy it. Sadly it doesn't matter what he hopes or wants when he's decided murdering everyone is what has to be done..

THE PREVIEW SHOWED PIECK AND PORCO NEXT TO REINER AT THE DAYTIME FESTIVAL. THIS WAS NOT IN THE MANGA. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS ABOUT POSSIBLE ANIME-ONLY ADDITIONS? 298 Responses

Many of our respondents seem to be looking forward to Pieck and Porco’s inclusion in the daytime festival. 47% are hopeful that this will mean some wholesome bonding scenes between the Warriors and the kids. 26.5% don’t know what to make of it, but are looking forward to it nonetheless. A handful of people think it will be similar to how WIT included Sasha in the Clash arc - adding minor details without changing anything in the story-line. 7% wish that MAPPA wasn’t doing this at all, and 5% are hopeful this means that MAPPA will find a way to repurpose Pieck crawling on all fours next episode. 

I still want Pieck butt

IN THAT SAME VEIN, IT SEEMS LIKE EPISODE 4 WILL ADAPT CHAPTERS 97 AND 98, ENDING ON THE FINAL PANEL OF 98. HOWEVER, THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHAPTER 97 WAS ALREADY ADAPTED IN LAST WEEK’S EPISODE. WHAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR EPISODE 4? 293 Responses

Who wants to place bets on the contents of next episode? While the largest chunk of people don’t know what to expect in episode 4, others are happy to speculate. 19.8% feel (or are at least hopeful) that MAPPA will fill in some screen time by repurposing already-skipped scenes. 19.1% feel that there will be minor additions, but not too much. A solid 16% feel that there will be a few anime only additions during the daytime festival. 10.9% are placing bets that episode 4 will actually bleed into chapter 100 before the end.

Mappa won't have to cut a lot of stuff like they did to ep 3

The title "From One Hand to Another" immediately made me think we would actually be getting Eren grasping Reiner's hand and transforming at the end (meaning chapters 100 and 101), but that's just so much. The title may just refer to Magath and Willy's handshake. 

What about just enjoying the show?

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 298 Responses

As expected of the fandom! Reiner and Eren’s reunion is the most anticipated scene for episode 4, with 74.8% having voted for that. 17.1% are most looking forward to the daytime festival, and 6% are excited to meet Willy in anime form for the first time. One commenter is very invested in the banquet and how it’s executed. 

Not this ep but if they cut the Udo and Kiyomi scene I'll RIOT!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I'm upset so much was cut from Reiner's backstory but the cinematography is freakin' excellent I can't even complain

*cheers MAPPA animators for their hard work* ... Perfect for anime onlies, I think. Made me almost wish I hadn't read the manga so I wouldn't have missed the cut scenes.

Cuts aside, the animation was much better than the previous episodes. 

"The one scene I really wanted was Bertholdt looking over the wall and seeing the EMA trio. Of all the cuts, I think that was the only one that was damaging to the story. I also kind of wish that MAPPA animated the reused scenes. I kind of like comparing and contrasting the animation styles of both studios so its a bit of shame that we didn't get anything new from Episode 1.

I'm really impressed with how much MAPPA is managing to squeeze in each episode and I'm content that Reiner's flashback was covered in a single episode rather than two. It just makes sense pacing-wise. The only real criticism I have is that in the flashback scenes where everyone is supposed to be 12 years old, they don't sound 12 at all. Their voices are way too mature, especially the males, and I understand they're voiced by adults, but I feel like they could have at least tried to sound more like kids. Other than that, great episode.

Elaborating on the missing content: they really shouldn’t have cut Annie’s transformation prior to wall Maria being breached. It makes it look like Reiner choked her out and then a minute later bert was kicking the wall through. 

I'm in the boat, where i think it wouldve been better if Mappa didnt cut out so much, but considering what there is to cover, we will live,but i hope they dont end up butchering everything Also the bit with reiner’s dad would be confusing to anime-onlies since it cross-cuts between that scene and him on the parade. I’ve seen some reactors think it was a daydream, or that he left during the parade. 

It was quite rushed, but I understand why they did it, the flashback wouldn't have been as impactful over 2 episodes, and I do think when the Marley arc was first introduced in the manga, manga readers were quite inpatient to get back to the main cast, so they might be feeding off that feedback. 

Mappa has become my favorite studio of all time. Not just in regards to anime, but studios in general. Their discography is on another level (imo) and the fact that on top of every other masterpiece they’ve made, they’re doing an outstanding job with my favorite series of all time just solidifies them as the first and probably the only anime studio that I can truly Stan.

Lots of (I think) Important stuff cut, but the meat is still in place. I like my meat to be juicy and marbled, while Mappa cut out all the fat that makes for a flavorful meal. I completely understand why and I am apathetic about it.

disliked the fact the wall breach was so quickly glossed over, and the transition between mappa and wit style was jarring to say the least

Regardless of the cuts, i think it flows together nicely. The anime has always been more speedy than the manga so i kind of expected this. I don't think it'll get as bad as s3 part 1 in terms of pacing. I trust in Mappa, so far i haven't been disappointed at all. The animation and backgrounds are absolutely stunning. That warrior titan sequence was incredibly well done. Props to the animators!

It was a bit confusing mishmash of scenes, but there were some good moments sprinkled in like the introduction of all of Marley's titans. The emotional reactions, however, just weren't the same as they were when reading the manga, to be honest.

I’m really glad they cut the part with RBA hanging onto Female/Armoured neck by a rope. That whole thing seemed stupid to me. Doesn’t match up with previous chapters and I feel like SOMEONE would have noticed two kids hanging onto the Armoured Titan’s neck. 

I think MAPPA is doing a really good job so far, can't wait to see the battle in Liberio. I'm not bothered at all with the CG titans because firstly, they look really good, and secondly, I understand why they had to do it. I also hope they don't censor many things or cut out some dark scenes that are important to the season because I would love to see everything animated. 

Felt like watching a recap episode... And it wasn't supposed to be one, so

I'm really dissapointed that mappa cut so many things from manga. Reiner's backstory is my favoure part of snk. Suicide scene completly lacks impact. 

I really dislike the fact that MAPPA is trying to show only bad side of the marleyan officers. They removed the gate guards, they removed the scene where Magath is telling RBA to stay safe (on Paradis). One of the best parts of the manga is showing that the both races (Eldians and Marleyans) have good and bad sides. By removing positive aspects of Marleyans MAPPA is creating totally different picture. This way the anime onlines may find the whole rumbling even more justified. The episode was pretty good and the OST has made some scenes to feel more dark and serious (especially the moment where the new titans are introduced), but sometimes I feel like the characters are speaking and acting way too fast. I was waiting for the scene with Kenny and Annie, but it took only like few second and was cut. I love MAPPA's version of Kenny. He has more serious aura and looks more like his manga counterpart. In other words;  wrinkled grandpa with skinny neck :) 

It honestly wasn’t my favorite, but I still loved it. I feel as though they skipped around a lot and there wasn’t a lot of scenes that actually tied together and I’m worried anime only watchers might get confused. Definitely some of the stuff I wanted to see animated didn’t make the cut, but I still love the animation style, the characters and the story!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 285 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again next episode.

[aragima]

hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip  

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet​, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet​, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

[babygirl06301]

SPN S1 Review

I honestly have no idea if this post is about to be hella long or moderate, but I feel like a lot of my feelings got aired out when I was reviewing each individual episode, so I’m just gonna dump the rest of my thoughts that I’ve jotted down while watching this season here. This is basically gonna be me saying, “Wow, this was interesting,” or, “This is similar to/different from later seasons because…” These are all coming from notes on my computer, so they’re half-baked. Nothing too fancy or analytical, but I’ll be doing one of these for every season.

Random thoughts:

I don’t like the monster-of-the-week, episodic format that much, and a lot of those episodes this season felt average in quality for me. However, when you don’t have much else to focus on besides an arbitrary goal of the boys finding John to kill something they know nothing about, it isn’t so bad. Filler episodes suck more later because they’re often completely disconnected from the main story, which isn’t the case for most filler episodes in this season. Plus, the main stories later have more involved goals for the season than this one did, which made the filler episodes later more annoying. For example, if Sam and Dean want to hunt a Tulpa at a haunted house because John is off doing something somewhere, that’s fine. Kill the time. But if Sam and Dean really need to figure out a way to kill God, like, now before Chuck decimates every fleck of existence he’s ever created, maybe don’t waste my time with an episode about a wood nymph, you know? If the stakes are higher, then the quality episodes shouldn’t appear with less frequency. All I’m saying.

The tone, acting, and writing of these characters is so different. Like, when you know a show intimately, these kinds of differences between one season and the next are natural to you. It’s not like I wasn’t aware that the boys looking for their father feels a lot fucking different than the boys having a kid, but when you actually let yourself be aware of how much the show has changed, it’s kind of crazy. Like, if I just think about it offhand, I’m like, “Yeah, this is Supernatural.” But if I break the fourth wall a bit in my mind, it’s like, “Damn, I really did watch these characters and their actors mature for fifteen years, didn’t I?” Crazy.

There are so many episodes that end with the Impala driving down the road. Like, an aerial shot of it. And if the very last scene isn’t that, then it’s probably the scene right before the last scene. Until the last few episodes, that is.

I don’t know why I’ve written this down, but it’s easier to remember episode titles in season one because you can match it to the creature without having to remember the plot. Like, “Oh, the Wendigo episode.” I’ve also said in this same note that the folklore plots died out later on in the series, which is true.

A quote from my notes: “The show really does feel better with Cas, huh?” Look, I’m not gonna say that the S1 finale didn’t slap, because it did. However, I will say that Cas can brighten any episode up, so, had he been in the series from the beginning, the season finale may not have been the only S1 episode to slap. Not that there weren’t other episodes that were good, but you know. Also, this isn’t to say that Cas should’ve been around the whole time because him coming into Dean’s life when he did was exactly perfect.

They do this later, too, but a handful of episodes in the early seasons will be like, “Here’s a girl. Now, one of you Winchesters, go bond with her this instant.” And it’s weird? You don’t need to bring a girl in just to make googly eyes at one of the boys? You could just give her the story she was supposed to have but minus all the flirting?

So, Sam is meant to be the central character for the first five seasons, right? Yes, Dean is supposed to be his equal; yes, he went to Hell and had that whole storyline; yes, he’s Michael’s vessel, but it was always really about Sam, you know? Sam was the one who had the connection to the biggest, baddest thing imaginable (at the time), that being Lucifer. Sam was the one chosen for Lucifer. Sam was the one with the psychic abilities and the one to drink demon blood and the reason Dean sold his soul. Dean is obviously a main character with his own story, but Sam was meant to be the special one, yeah? But even so, Dean is such a beautifully complex character because he wasn’t special. You can see that, even in S1—that his specialness came from his lack of central focus. It’s almost like the plot was saying, “Sam,” and Dean went, “I’m gonna cause problems anyway,” and that’s awesome. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I just feel like Dean is the most interesting character in the entire series, and he wasn’t even the one S1 picked out as special.

Sam’s psychic abilities seemed a lot cooler when you didn’t know as much about them. Like, yes, Sam having those abilities for the purpose of housing Lucifer is cool and all, but it felt so much more mystical when it just seemed like something Sam could do for some reason. Not that that would’ve been a better payoff than what we get—it’d be stupid for the story to say, “I know a demon chose you to be the vessel of Lucifer himself, but the psychic thing you can do? Just a coincidence”—but it’s some food for thought.

John is barely fucking there even though his existence permeates the entire fucking season. I thought he was so much more present than he was in this series. They treated him like they treated Cas. “We said his name a few times, that’s good right?” No. No, it isn’t.

I hate the pattern the episodes have in S1. It goes: location name, bad thing happens in said location, Sam and Dean talk about said thing, they go to said location, they research and maybe flirt with some random girl, they fight, they drive away in the Impala. Like, nearly every episode is like that.

Without demons in the mix that often, the tone of S1 is really different when you compare it to every other season.

Dean is a lot more emotionally vulnerable in this season. I mean, he’s not sitting down with Sam to talk about his feelings all the time, but his emotions are definitely closer to the surface. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he hasn’t had to emotionally shut down to protect Sam yet. Obviously, he represses things because of the way he was raised, and because he had to raise Sam; however, he still had John to lean on at this point. So, he hadn’t developed that habit of hiding his feelings and leaning on no one but himself yet as he did when he lost John. Because of that, he was able to be scared and tell Sam that he was afraid of losing his family and stuff like that. He becomes a way darker character in after John dies, and he more or less only leans fully on one other person for the rest of the series, albeit in a different way.

John saying in 1x21 that he wants Dean to have a home after Azazel is killed is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. For one, because John is aware that he deprived Dean of a real home, and by extension, is aware that Dean is damaged because of that. But also, it’s sad because Dean has lived 26 years of his life up until now without ever having a home he felt safe and loved in.

Dean running from a potential fight with Azazel in 1x22 is super interesting because he’s fighting to be a part of his family rather than simply fighting for them to be saved. Dean doesn’t want to die, isn’t willing to die. That’s something that definitely changes later. Big time.

Filler episode rate:

By my count, which admittedly might be wrong, there were 7 episodes that were primarily main story episodes this season and 15 monster-of-the-week/filler episodes. 

Now, in the early seasons, it isn’t as easy to separate the filler from the main story because almost every episode will deal with character conflict that’s tied to what’s going on with the main story. However, I called it a filler if the primary plot was just a random hunt. For example, I called “Scarecrow” a filler because, even though Meg was introduced after Sam and Dean have a big fight, the main plot is hunting a god.

My bottom 5 episodes in order:

These next two sections are based on my ratings of these episodes from my reviews of every episode. I’ve just ordered them, with one being my least favorite/favorite episode this season.

5.) 1x07: Hook Man

4.) 1x03: Dead in the Water

3.) 1x02: Wendigo

2.) 1x13: Route 666

1.) 1x08: Bugs

My top 5 episodes in order:

5.) 1x14: Nightmare

4.) 1x06: Skin

3.) 1x15: The Benders

2.) 1x21: Salvation

1.) 1x22: Devil’s Trap

My top episodes for Sam:

This section and the next will just be me bringing up some good points of development for Sam and Dean throughout this season. I mean, of course they develop almost all the time, but these episodes are some of the best/most interesting. At least, in my opinion. If you want to read more about my reasons, check out my reviews. Just search for “spn s1 reviews” on my blog.

1x05: Bloody Mary - Sam’s psychic abilities got alluded to for the first time during this episode, but it also told us how much Sam blamed himself for Jessica’s death.

1x10: Asylum - Sam’s resentment for Dean is voiced, and though he’s under the influence of a ghost while he talks about Dean, some of it is supported by development in other episodes this season.

1x14: Nightmare - Sam bonds with Max over their shared abilities and pasts. We also get to see that Sam initially related his own trauma when growing up to Max’s, even though he acknowledged that Max had it worse at the end. It’s an interesting point of development that Sam saw his upbringing that way.

1x19: Provenance - Through Sarah being a part of this episode, Sam reveals that he sees himself as dangerous because the abilities he has has put the people he loves in danger in the past.

1x21: Salvation - Sam reveals that he’s willing to die, and by extension, risk his family to get the job of killing Azazel done.

1x22: Devil’s Trap - Sam has to choose between losing his family through getting his revenge or losing his chance at revenge to save his family.

My top episodes for Dean:

1x06: Skin - Dean’s abandonment issues are touched on for the first time.

1x09: Home - Dean shows fear when faced with returning home and dealing with the trauma of what he went through the night Mary died.

1x12: Faith - This is the first episode that we see a serious internal conflict in Dean about the worth of his life, which is interesting, because we can see in later episodes that he doesn’t want to die. However, his attitude in this episode seems to suggest that he doesn’t see his life as valuable.

1x18: Something Wicked - Honestly, this isn’t my favorite episode in the world, but it’s the first flashback episode of the series; in it, you’ll see the reason behind Dean’s feelings of responsibility regarding Sam.

1x21: Salvation - Dean insists that nobody will die to kill Azazel, showing that he wants to be a part of his family rather than just saving them.

1x22: Devil’s Trap - Dean shows a darker side of himself in an attempt to get John back, and his fears of being unneeded by his family are revealed as well as his fears of losing his family.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for this season’s review. I’ll rate this season in my series review that I’ll write once all this is over, but my impressions right now are that the first season of Supernatural was all right. It didn’t necessarily walk in a straight line, but it still felt like there was a definite destination. And, on top of that, the season ended in one of the most banger ways an SPN season has ever ended. The monster-of-the-week stuff has made most of the episodes this season ones I would probably not revisit, but S1 is definitely still special. 

We’ll see if this changes later, but for now, my rating (and average, based on my ratings in my reviews) for S1 is ★★★☆☆.

[xsecretblastsx]

1x13 - The thin line between Chuck and Nate

That’s a really long tittle for an episode. I wasn’t planning on doing this recap today, but I’m anxious and I needed some distraction, and so here we are.

This is quite the episode. I apologize in advance about the length of this recap. So here we go.

Thougths i had while watching the episode:

Not that it can be forgotten but the opening scene of this episode is such a reminder of how stalkerish the gossip girl site is

I had totally forgot about Jenny, like now that I think about it I didn’t even notice she wasn’t on the last couple of episodes, wow.

I actually laughed at Dan’s and Rufus stunned silence.

Somehow Dan I don’t believe you love Serena, I believe you think so, but that’s not the same as actually loving someone.

I’m not expert in the Queen bee and her clique hierarchy, but it’s says a lot about her that Jenny actually tries to stand up herself, like if you think about it she’s a freshman, and not even from the UES and she’s already really set on stating her place. 

Plot twist: the test was for Blair, dun dun dun

We have seen it before, but this is the first time we actually start to see the extent of Blair’s ability for going into denial mode, and Serena explains it masterfully, so much that “the movie playing in Blair’s head about her life” it’s something I’ve seen a lot since I first watched this show to describe some of Blair’s anticts through the show.

Maybe I’am a total bitch, have you thougth about that? It’s one my fave Blair’s lines.

Blair and Nate having a nice cute moment, while Chuck watches in the shadows, and Blair is just like sorry not sorry, auch.

I honestly don’t understand why Jenny is so surprised Blair is never going to really like her, like she said she has spend the last six months on it, being a minion, what did she expect, Blair is not nice, and that comes across, like two minutes after meeting her.

I love Serena’s gold coat, not that I blame her, but she gave up really fast.

Like even ignoring the fact that Jenny was eavesdropping, I’m not a fan of Serena telling Dan that, at least not the Blair part.

Jenny’s face is like “wow this is the gossip of the decade” hilarious.

Serena saying “he does have a this weird influence over her” is a very telling line about them. 

I’ve realized that while I like his characters, Rufus storylines are really boring when they are not related to Lily.

Chuck’s outfts in S1 were something else, not in a good way. 

Serena being all like damn, had I known that I wouldn’t have told you this. I feel bad or fher, because It’s one of those cases were having good intentios and helping your friends actually makes everything worse. 

“I command myself not to be pregnant” have I’ve mentioned I love Blair?

“I would have no idea what to wear to a paternity hearing” this line would never be hilarious, and Serena if it wasn’t for pre natal DNA tests, you probably would have picked that outif.

“So goodbye mistake, so far in my past I can hardly remember” that was harsh Blair, and I’m not justifying what Chuck does next, but I’ve always felt that for knowing him like she did, it was naive of her to believe he wouldn’t retaliate.

That scene of Blair waliking down the stairs while everyone gossips about her is so well done, the visuals, the voices around her, you really feel it, and feel for her.

Jenny spilling the beans to Nate, really steppingi in the game now.

That was a fight that was a long time coming since 1x07, and I love this scene, it’s interesting that Nate is mad, and probably hurt, and yet is Chuck the one that looks really hurt by it in the end of the scene.

Again, I understand why Nate is mad, but considering he actually cheated on Blair with Serena, he cames across as being a really hypocrite in his fight with Blair.

I love Serena, but she’s like immediately jumping on Dan and Jenny’s defence, without even really listening to Blair, not trying to understand why she’s upset. Of course Blair being Blair retaliates, but on this case she’s actually not wrong in what she says to Serena, it’s just brutally honest.

I loved the stand off’s between Blair and Jenny, they’re epic. As of now, Jenny 1, Blair 0.

I really love Serena’s outfit this episode.

No Dan! You don’t get to dictate when and if someone tells you they love you back, Like sorry, but putting that pressure on someone is not okay at all. Storming out in anger, is just... wrong.

That scene of Blair just wandering the streets, reminiscing about Nate and Chuck is so sad, and it’s probs also the first time since Cotillion, that she allows herselft to think on the fact that she has feelings for Chuck too. 

I like to mention that the Nate memory is a heartbreaking moment in their history, she’s crying. Her Chuck memory in the other hand is the moment that started it all, and exciting moment. The difference.  Great choice of music by the way.

One of my favorite aspects of S1 were the heart to heart convos between Serena and Eric. He’s such a wise kid.

What’s with Chuck’s outfits this episode. I hate that sweater. 

This scene is so hard to watch, Chuck’s words to Blair are horrible, so much that it’s hard to remember why he’s so mad and hurt, so one is like f*ck you Chuck,  and the way Blair reacts, and how hurt she is by his words, makes it easy to forget that she had dismissed his feelings, treated him like her dirty little secret and called him a mistake. 

Blari and her mom having a moment, always gets to me.

I love that scene between the girls of the steps and Jenny, you can really see her becoming a mean girl, and it gets even better when Penelope says “Blair trained you well”, cause this Jenny in many ways is indeed a Blair creation. 

“I love you because you make no apologies for being exactly who you are” Sorry Dan but I don’t believe you when you say that.

This is one of my favorite Serena and Blair moments ever,  No matter what they have each other, and have a lot of love between them, even if they forget about it from time to time.

So.. what an episode. People mostly remember it as the episode where the love triangle between Nate-Blair-Chuck explodes, but it’s also the episode that really puts Jenny in the road to Queen B, there’s also a lot about Blair and Serena’s friendship and it’s the episode where Dan and Serena say I love you to each other, quite the ride in plots. I’ll save my thougths on Jenny for the next episodes because if I remember correctly those focus a lot on her Blair and the road to queendom.

This is suposed to be a sweet episode for Dan and Serena, and for the most part it is, they’re there for each other, have cute dates, and Dan’s struggle to say I love you to Serana it’s almost endearing and then it comes to the moment Dan manages to sayI love you, and Serena doesn’t say it back. It’s obviously a distressing moment to say the words and not get them back, and I get it can be particularly difficult for Dan because he sees Serena as a girl that it’s so out of his league that really, why would she love him. And yet I hate his reaction. He storms out in anger, and tells her how is not okay for her to react that way. I guess I wouldn’t have much of an issue (i’m actually pretty sure I didn’t think much of it the first time I watched this) if I didn’t knew that he always reacts badly when Serena doesn’t act like he wants her to. 

I loved the fact that the show, makes a point to establish why Serena has a difficult time with the words I love you, her little talk with Eric was so nice because like the last episode references the way Lily’s chaotic love life damaged her children. I do wish we spend a bit more time on this issues, because I feel having Serena said I love you to Dan right back after his “this is why i love you speech” (which by the way sound hollow given what I’ve already know) it was a tad to soon and it cheapens a bit her difficulties, like if they were easy to get over, and not something that she has to work through, I would have prefered if her I love you came some episodes later, not necesarilly after dramatic struggling that’s not Serena, but rather after her realizing she can trust Dan and seeing for herself he loves her (I know, i know).

Now, the pregnancy scare, the way this episode flows is really good, it keeps you on your seat and starting out with the little plot twist about the pregnancy not being for Serena and instead is for Blair really sets the tone. I love how from the very beginning it shows how Serena is there for Blair, how she takes the bullet for her by gettingh photographed buying the test, it also shows how really well she know Blair, the line a about Blair living in the movie in her head is so good, we learn more about Blair and how it falls on Serena to help her deal with reality. When the shit hits the fan, Blair lashes against Serena, and this is the kind of situation where I can see where Blair’s coming from particularly when Serena defends Dan and Jenny, because to Blair she’s putting them above her, and the fact that Serena trusted in them and defends that trust hurts, Serena doesn’t seem to understand at first why Blair sees this scandal as the end of the world, and when Blair’s points out that she doesn’t get it because things are different for Serena and she already ruined her reputation, Serena gets offended, and I get it, Blair was recalling a part of Serena’s life she had left behind, and she doesn’t need the reminder, so she leaves. 

It does ironically proves Blair point, because at the start of the episode yes people talk about Serena, but when she says she’s not pregnant, everyone’s like ok whatever, the girls on the steps are like great let’s get drinks to celebrates, Blair on the other hand get’s dethroned for the same pregnancy scare and for sleeping with two guys... the consequences are not the same for the both of them, and Serena doesn’t understands it at first and reacts to Blair’s meltdown like Blair just being Blair, when she finally gets it she goes after her and convinces her to stay and not run away, giving us one of the nicest scenes of their friendship, their bond and their love for each other.

Another interesting bit about the episode is how we see Serena trying and tyring to help Blair one way or the other, she tries so hard that she makes questionable decisions that in the long run actually have undesirable consequences, however this only happens because Blair keeps being so obnoxious about it, and if  she hadn’t been in complete denial Serena wouldn’t have talked about with Dan and Chuck, which ends up with the whole affair exposed. This is a pattern that repeats during the whole episode having Blair  pushing and pushing people to the limits of their tolerance . We see Blair going over Jenny in full Queen B mode, whichs mades Jenny snap, tired about it and ends up with her telling Nate the whole truth. Same with Chuck,  this episode she actually refers to him as a mistake she doesn’t even remember, and since she has  been very dismissive of his feelings so far, so he snaps and sends the tip to gossip girl. So we have Blair suffering the consequences of her actions, and the fact that the show does this, it’s the reason that no matter how bitchy or mean she gets, she always ends up having to deal with the results of that, which helps her grow in the long run and us love her.

Finally, the love triangle. So Nate and Blair 2.0 end up being very short lived. Now I’m not a fan of Nate this episode, mostly his treatment of Blair. He was a shitty boyfriend, who cheated on her with her best friend, not only that but the way he reveals it to her and continues to pine after Serena long after it, not breaking up with her mainly to help his father, and they actually broke up because he didn’t love her, so he’s real a hypocrite when he says “Guess when we were talking about leaving the past behind we were talking about yours, not mine” and it’s not the same, you cheated she didn’t, and yet he drops her without a second thought, not considering how forgiving she was of him in the past. So in that sense, good riddance Nate.

On the other hand, Nate’s anger with Chuck is justified, because like I said about the Serna and Nate hook up in redgards to Blair, girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever and you expect loyalty of them, and sure Blair and Nate had already broke up, but it’s not like you expect your best friend to hook up with your ex the minute the relationship is over. So i get, I do find interesting that Nate seems more angry than hurt with Chuck, and I think he doesn’t feel as hurt because he doesn’t really love Blair, and so his anger comes from the fact that he believes Chuck sleeping with Blair was just Chuck being Chuck, and he can’t quite believe it when Chuck ends up pointing out that  Nate ignored Blair and how instead he was actually there for her, and I feel this is part of the reason Chuck’s look so hurt at the end of their fight, because not only did Nate ends their friendship but he’s very dismissive and quite can’t believe that Chuck may have cared from Blair somewhat. 

That’s the scenario Blair walks into when she goes to talk to Chuck. He’s really hurt, because he not only lost his best  friend, the one person that he had always openly cared for, and he lost him because of the relationship he had with Blair, who had been nothing but dissmisive of him for quite some time now, who at best treated him as her dirtly little secret, even when he admitted to feel something and had nice details with her, like the necklace he gave her, he put himself out there as much as his emotinal stunned self could at that time and it was all for nothing, she saw him as nothing but a mistake.It’s not that I’m taking his side per se, but Season one it’s the one I do tend to think Blair had a bigger part in how things got to that point, in many ways she was mean to him just because, he was mostly reacting to her actions, the thing about Chuck though is that whenever Blair does something bad to him, he ends up retaliating 100 times worst. 

I feel he does this to level the ground between and end ups going overboard because it’s the way he takes control back over the situation, particularly in the first two seasons, when hasn’t come to terms completely with what he feels for her, he doesn’t know how to handle it on a good day, even less so when he hurts because of her. So on this episode what he says to her is horrible, he basically slut shames her, the whole episode is a tale about that, and that’s just awful, honestly had Chuck not said that I would be totally on his corner on this one, as it is I can’t and I just sigh in frustration. He was hurt yes, but he ends up hurting Blair as badly if not more, for all her witty combacks and bitchiness she halts, not able to say anything back and she just looks so hurt, to the point that she ends up in her mother’s arm crying and wanting out, and sure it’s the combination of everything that want’s her to go away, but it’s Chuck’s words that put her over the edge because she wasn’t expecting that from him,before all of this they were partners in crime, friends in a weird way different from their friendship with Serena and Nate and also because she’s suprised it actually hurts her that much.

Here’s the thing, my own “theory” on this, when I did the recap for 1x07 I’ve mentioned this is the moment he realizes he’s in love with ther, he may not go as far as to called it that, but he know he feels something, being probably lowkey feeling it for quite sometime, and that to him is monumental. That’s Chuck’s moment. This episode to me is Blair’s moment. When I think of the moment she realizes she is in love with him is either this, or in that week before S2. But I’m way more inclined to believe it’s this one, when he breaks her heart. Especially because she breaks up again with Nate this same episode at a point when she believed the best of their relationship is yet to come, and she doesn’t seem as bad after talikng to him as she did after talking to Chuck. I also believe this because like I mentioned earlier in the scene when she thinks about both of them, she thinks of Nate in one of their saddest moment, when basically Nate says you either let go of the fact I cheated on you, or we end this, and when she thinks of Chuck she remembers their time in the limo, it’s an interesting contrast almost as if her subconcious was telling her, forget Nate that ended up a long time ago, what happened with Chuck however was amazing, do you really want to give it up? And it’s after that scene that she goes looking for him, only to find out, he doesn’t want her anymore. I also feels it paints a  kind of interesting contradiction, Chuck realizes he loves her on such a incredibly happy moment, she realizes she loves him in a really sad moment, like oh shit! I’m in love with Chuck Bass, and it fits with the star of the story, he’s after all the one that goes after her first, and truth is, since that day he never really let’s her go.

Random bits I’ve noticed:

This was filmed in december, that scene where Serena is telling Dan that she’s not pregnant, behind them you can see a lot of poinsettias.

Blair’s wearing Jeans for a bit during this episode, that’s like sighting the yeti.

The song they used throught this episode but most notably in the scene where the blast about Blair reaches everyone is called “The Dark side of Indoor Track Meets” by Captiva, and the full song is weirdly interesting, like the last part of the song is really creepy. 

I love the song they used when Blairs is thinking about Nate and Chuck. It’s called “The air we breathe” by the figurines.

[saraa-lancee]

So what issues would you like them to tackle that hasn’t already been done on the show before?

(I just want to say this is my first ask ever and I've been here since... God maybe 2013? So thank you!!)

I would LOVE to see a new dimension to sexuality. I'm also casually of the team that's "Sara herself should say Bisexual" because Bisexual has only been said once on screen and Nate said it casually.. We have a scene where Sara says tells Nurse Lindsay that Lesbian isn't a bad word yet the show kinda doesn't act that way about Bi. Bi erasure is an issue that would be interesting-- since Sara is with Ava, it would be neat to have some line of "i didn't pick a team" or just along the lines of Still Bi With A Woman.

(They also missed an opertunity with Charlie to use neutral pronouns of some kind)--> a discussion further on gender identity would be cool too. There are casual set ups for this with Charlie, like in the Shakespeare episode, but nothing is ever really taken completely seriously or honestly even explicitly. I would really enjoy a nonbinary or intersex narrative in this particular context because I feel like the team of legends (as the people the characters are) would fit really nicely with that. But it would be cool to have a trans character that Gideon helps? Because the arrowverse trans character (in Supergirl-- Nia) is already transitioned. It would be cool to have a transitioning characer in a really casual way even (a particular scenario would be New Character leaving sickbey while someone else walks in. Other person asked if New is feeling OK and New just says like "oh yeah, just my hormones.). But yeah anything with gender identity.

I always hunger for more disability stories, but based on how they Wrote Sara's blindness... yikes. I remember watching a panel or something on YouTube about how Caity was hoping that Sara was at least going to have a cane or be shown to struggle with some stuff, but the writers ignored all of that. So its kind of touchy based on that but I think it would be really neat to have someone with a prosthetic (or even just an amputation, someone born without a limb, etc.)-- it would be a beautiful narrative about 'Gideon can literally grow you a new arm' and that character firmly saying no, this is me, having this difference doesn't make me less, you aren't "fixing" me because I'm not broken, I like myself, etc, whatever.

I know that for me personally one of the best things about the show is that Sara and Ava don't have to come out, and everyone just treats them like normal, but I think some kind of homophobia narrative would be good, not to a big extent but just to the extent like in S1 when Kendra and Ray move in 1950s and that dynamic only with the girls. Like, for the show to acknowledge homophobia in such a direct way, as they did with interracial relationships. This beyond the obvious homophobia of the Nazis. (I personally can't think of an aspect where its implied, but sometimes I can miss or misinterpret implicated stuff like that).

I would love to see a return to POC cultures and narratives (narratives outside of racism) S1 with Kendra and Carter and the Egyptian culture aspect, Amaya and Zambesi aspect. We see a tad bit of this with Zari and the bollywood scene, and Japan post WW2, but they are more side aspects now. It would be neat to go to India or other places in southeast Asia (culturally), or Central/South America. Overall, I would just like to see more of that cultural aspect because human culture is something that interests me a lot and I feel like can be easily casually thrown in with time travel--- traditional clothes, buildings, and ideals (an example of the ideals is the discussion in feudal Japan about the cultures views on death).

I feel like there was a lot of potential with Hank and Sara to continue that discussion about women in power. Yes, we have discussed this before. We do it a lot in second season with the JSA and even Jonah Hex but I think Hank had a lot of potential to add a dimension to that discussion. (honestly see next paragraph for more). That whole episode with the Minotaur i would have loved if they'd been a bit more explicit with that-- yes, obviously a woman can be in charge (in Hanks mind) but he has the right to walk in there and take over because her experience doesn't matter and also we will do whatever he wants. Sara spends almost the whole time just rolling her eyes and bitting her tongue besides a light quip in the beginning asking if a girls ever punched him. in the past Sara has literally exerted dominance over men so I was just kind of disappointed with that dynamic. I love the character of Sara as an "unconventional woman" or a "strange friend" and I've noticed comments like that pretty much stopped after the 3rd season. I know some people hated those comments but I think they can be good. I enjoyed them and would like to see them again because it's literally just Sara being unapologetically herself, a strong woman, doing whatever she does, no matter how weird or unconventional it is. (Which is an integral part of Saras character to me)

BUT its also not necessarily "new" issues. Issues don't go away in real life-- we had multiple issues about Race in America with Jax, from different points in history (Slavery and the 1950s). Jax even mentions how he still experiences Rascism today. The issues don't go away and just because they are mentioned once doesn't mean they can't (and shouldn't) be examined from other points in history. IE just because the show has talked about it before doesn't mean we can't talk about it again from a different angle and/or perspective.

I see a lot of potential with Astra with the racism thing (people are nicer to me in literal Hell) but it also would have been interesting with Mona, to show a different type of racism would have been INCREDIBLE.

I also can think of maybe a scene or two that would have just been a nice touch with Zari (either one, but I have a soft spot for Zari 1.0, and I think with her life as an illegal Muslim would have been an enriching perspective) as a Muslim. They are very good to her character in the way that she obviously abstains from Liquor and Pork, and observes Ramadan. But one thing that would have been interesting is for Zari to experience early 2000s (or honesty still right now) xenophobia. Especially Z1 since being a Muslim is Illegal in 2045 there was a lot of emotional potential there. (Although I feel like I can understand why the writers didn't want to touch that because of current conflicts).

Since we're going to outer space (that was actually confirmed right? Or was it just hinted and I misread??), I think issues will have to be character driven rather than time period driven. But therin we have a lot of potential-- a race of aliens without distinct genders (wait, so your worth can be dictated based off of your genitals?? Plus sexuality stuff there), aliens confused about race (I don't understand some of your skins are different colors... and your people treat each other differently based on this?). We could introduce a matriarchal society, which the crew with Captain Lance feel particularly unphased by. Perhaps we have a completely pacifist society or aliens made of inorganic materials (debates about what constitutes as alive, what lives are meaningful, etc.) You get the idea(I adore star trek so you can imagine my glee thinking about some of those scenarios).

I think for me, the hard shift to comedy was at the expense of some of my favorite aspects of the show and also things that set it apart. This Found Family is so rewarding because they are all so so different but those differences enrich each other. They become better people and feel at home without having to change who they fundamentally are. And they are whoever they want to be. I feel like now the show has simply had an incredibly jarring tone shift thats trying too hard to be a comedy. (This one is just an opinion but a joke among all the serious is always just a lot more funny to me. I find myself laughing more at one liners and random stuff in the early seasons. Now it feels like 'ok, what's the next ridiculous thing.')

I think... humanity is pretty dark. But humanity also rises above. This is why I adore the episode from post WW2 Japan and to me it personally really stands out from other episodes in s4/s5. The idea of creating and destroying, pain and sadness locked inside, terror and hatred for the beings you share the planet with. That pain creates monsters. Sometimes by accident. (Sara's pain turned her into the version of herself she called a monster.). And also about embracing your passions (Mick hiding his writing). In that episode, we still have jokes about Godzilla. Garima appears and its hilarious. But it's also an incredibly powerful narrative about pain and fear and shame and gives a perspective that the western audience wouldnt... necessarily think about (the actual consequences and what the bomb actually literally did.).

That darkness makes the light so much more meaningful. If everything becomes light... than why are we still fighting?

Sorry if this is jumbled, I'm on mobile so.

Also, sorry if this is a rant or whatever. I am very passionate about this topic and oh boy if I was on a computer and had the time I'd probably repondd with a link to a doc.

[novantinuum]

SU movie predictions

Okay, we may not have a trailer yet to go off of but trying to predict things is fun. (And it’ll be funny looking back later and seeing how epically wrong I was lol) 

So my predictions of what I think is realistically plausible to happen:

A Gem actually gets physically shattered/we learn what actually happens to Gems who are shattered

Okay, so this may be a little edgy but hear me out... this movie is 90 minutes. And it’s a movie. Some serious chaos gon’ have to go down to fill the time here. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the Crystal Gems caught in a more perilous situation than usual.

There’s been a lot of theories over the years that shattered Gems are actually still conscious. I think we might gain some more info on that.

I genuinely doubt it’ll be a big character. Prob a one-off character. If anything, just a scenario where the villain is showing the audience that she’s not here to play games. 

There are at least three songs.

Change Your Mind had three and it was only 45 minutes. With double the length, how many more might we see?

My bets are on Steven having at least one, an ensemble song, and p e r h a p s a bad guy song.

Steven and Connie get a relationship upgrade.

These two have such a close bond, and are so obviously smitten with each other that I’m kinda surprised it hasn’t happened already. But what better time for even further development for them than a movie?

There’s definitely gonna be a fusion.

I’ll be surprised if I don’t see some past fusion encores.

And what about new fusions? So many possibilities!

It will be set post Change Your Mind.

I genuinely don’t see the storytelling purpose of setting it before Change Your Mind, so I will be surprised if this movie isn’t set in between CYM and s6. 

I am, however, still unsure whether I think the plot events in the movie will be relevant to the wider arc, or a standalone threat.

The movie reveals a fairly significant remodeling to Steven’s house.

We know Bismuth repaired it while everyone else was on Homeworld, but we still haven’t seen the inside yet.

Perhaps there will be more doors in the Temple now, for the newest official Crystal Gems!

The villain actually isn’t ‘Red Diamond’ or related to the diamonds at all.

While those theories are pretty cool sounding, I’m beginning to doubt that we’re going to be dealing with more diamonds after having pretty much half of season 5 dedicated to rooting out the mysteries with the Great Diamond Authority. At this point, what the show needs is to stretch its wings into the greater ‘universe,’ and what better way of doing that than to introduce an entirely new Gem type? Or, heck- even an entirely new species. Let’s go hog wild.

Rose’s chest in Lion’s mane will have some relevance to the plot.

That chest is still a mystery, and I suspect it’ll be coming up very soon because Steven brought attention to it in late season 4. They started teasing the concept of Steven’s gem being removed in late season 3, and that came to fruition in CYM so... I think we’re coming up on some big answers soon.

At least Garnet and Peridot will be poofed.

Perhaps more characters will be, as well.

Basically, I have a feeling that the really wild visors these two got in CYM were more designed exclusively with that episode in mind, as momentous as it was. They were fun visors, meant to represent everyone’s unity as a Crystal Gem at that moment. I predict that future regenerations of these two will have mostly similar outfits, but with toned down visors.

We see multiple new Gem locations.

Self explanatory, really. I’ll be surprised if we don’t.

By the end of the movie, Steven finally goes through a well-deserved growth spurt and looks his age again. (Like an actual 14 1/2 year old.)

This whole show is about his coming of age. We’ve seen his emotional coming of age. We’re yet to witness his physical coming of age. Like buddy, you still look like an eight year old. XD

And logistically, when it comes to CN advertisement... featuring such a significant character design change (if it ever does happen) within a Big Event TV Movie as opposed to a regular episode would be a wise move. That way, more people are likely to watch it and know what’s going on later when they see that Steven Universe’s title character looks quite different now.

Steven and Co. use his leg ship to travel through space at some point.

The kid has his own spaceship now. The whole galaxy is now his oyster! We’re finally putting the Universe into Steven Universe! I do hope that’s a plot point they utilize well...

The Diamonds feature, and we get a glimpse into how Homeworld is faring post CYM.

Could be part of inciting incidents. Perhaps the villain is someone resisting changes there on Homeworld.

The plot is no longer restricted to just Steven’s perspective.

Rebecca Sugar said in the last episode of the SU podcast that the show, as it continues from here, would be quite different from s1-5, because the story s1-5 was telling is done. That story is, of course, Steven’s coming of age. We saw everything from his point of view, because it was his story.

Thus, I’m predicting that from here on out, it’s not just his story... it’s the Crystal Gems’ story. Perhaps there will even be episodes in the far off future that don’t involve Steven at all- focusing on other Gems or humans instead.

BUT as far as the movie is concerned... 

Normally in s1-5 every scene had to be either: something Steven personally experienced himself or within a fusion, a story that a character was telling to Steven, or some interaction Steven overhears/eavesdrops on. I think it’s likely that this rule will be lifted from here on out. Which means, we could see a conversation between, say, Garnet and Pearl that Steven is nowhere around to see. Sky’s the limits.

And some absolute spitballing that really doesn’t have much “evidence” or plausibility on happening, but that I’d think would be pretty cool anyways:

We see Rose’s last moments/Steven’s birth.

If they were ever to flashback to this, now would be the time.

Could be an interesting way to quickly establish Steven’s hybrid nature for any new viewers.

Another human/Gem hybrid exists.

And Steven meets them and takes them under his wing.

This could perhaps be linked to his physical coming of age. Perhaps the thought of this new responsibility... of watching over/helping show the ropes to someone... is what moves him to finally grow up. Shifts his mentality a little older.

[tangledadventures]

Tangled: The series Q&A with Ricky

This is a recap from (April 27th, 2019) Questions and Answers session with Ricky on the Tangled Discord Server. Server link here.

Questions in bold Ricky’s answers unbolded

I'm all done with the show. I wrote the premiere and midseason for season 3 And Tom directed so, fun. I'm writing Big Hero 6 now. Well, finishing up on that. Then moving on to another. I only worked on 3rd season of BH Tangled and Big Hero are on the same floor so I feel like I never left And I still go to the Tangled snack table to raid their goodies

Honestly hearing crew stories makes me even more curious to find out what the studio environment is like

It's very chill and normal The office looks like a normal office building with cubes in the center and offices around the sides. Except everyone has cool toys and there is art all over the place And there is a lot of candy and cereal And they just gave us La Croix

Did Edmund name Eugene "Eugene" or did he have a different name for him before he sent him away?

He doesn't call him a different name so Isn't two names enough

Do we have a name for Mrs. Fitzherbert? Ummmm... Not sure about his mom's name.

So what would we expect on series finale of tangled? Non-spoiler stuff ofc

You can expect there to be no episodes after that But I seriously can't/won't talk about season 3 stuff As Chris always says, let the show speak for itself

But also there is so much heart and comedy and fun If everything is sad, then nothing is sad

What is your favourite moment in the show so far?

Favorite moment so far? Umm... 1.Bringing Pascal back to life. 2.Rapunzel tricking everyone and stealing the idol 3.Waiting in the Wings 4.Anything with Trevor

I don’t want to bombard you with questions - but do you know if Varian has a canon official age for season 1?

I THINK he's 14 Pretty sure Chris confirmed that at some point I think. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure 14 in S1 Well the authors of the books got a lot of info from us. At one point we had to answer this really long questionaire about the characters so we might have answered 14 in that

So Rapunzel's bedroom in the castle is in the highest tower. But we've also seen there's a hallway outside of her room. My question is: where are the stairs?

Probably underneath so they can climb up to it

can you tell us the non-spoilery parts about varians original concept when he was still an adult on the drawing board? or was he just "bad guy - adult - science"

There were a few things that were just pitched around. Like I remember he was an apple picker or something. He had an orchard. And he had a cart and would come to Corona

Was like him having Dad issues still a thing or no?

Umm...maybe Chris had that planned but I just remember thinking of him as older when I first came on

So he wasn't an alchemist just an apple picker or did he still do alchemy?

Ummm... he did alchemy too I think. I don't remember. I have a test premise that I wrote with an older Varian and it had elements of alchemy in it so I think he always did

Did the characters go through any different names then the ones they have?

Yeah, we changed names of characters a lot Like in the room in the writing process Keep in mind it's like almost 5 years ago that I started on the show so some of it is fuzzy It's hard to remember the old names because they were only old names for like one draft haha

What shows or stories inspire some of the stuff that goes into the series? Like designs, plots, ideas, etc?

Uh, there are different things for sure. For Happiness Is, I was very inspired by John Steinbeck's "The Pearl" It's a great novel (it's pretty short...novella?) about a poor pearl diver who finds a giant, magnificent pearl and thinks it will solve all of his life's problems. Instead, it destroys everything. For Great Expotations I drew on Pretty In Pink quite a bit The John Hughes movie For Vigor the Visionary, I thought a lot about The Rescuers with respect to the daylight thieves. In the beginning at least Like, mostly tone and stuff The Rescuers is a disney film about mice that save an orphan Ruthless Ruth had a lot of Haunted Mansion inspiration For Mirror Mirror we were inspired by John Carpenter's "The Thing" One Angry Princess obviously had a Law and Order hue to it And early days in Way of the Willow we were influenced by the movie Parenthood (the Ron Howard film with Steve Martin). There is an uncle character played by Tom Hulce that shows up and is super charming, but he's irresponsible. It's not how the story went necessarily, but it was something we talked about when figuring her out. Oh and for Pascal's story I was pretty heavily influenced by Snoopy Come Home.

I think Tom had a ton of ppl mention the Hydra from Hercules when it came to the snake in Pascal’s Story

It may have influenced the design of the snake I'm not sure though because I'm not in on that process really I think in the script I described him as red haha As long as he only had one tooth left that's all that matterd Okay y'all. Thanks for talking to me! I'm gonna run. I have to go to the store and buy an anniversary card for my wife! I'm slacking

Thanks for chatting with us, Ricky! always a pleasure!

Of course! You all are so nice! Thanks for being so welcoming!

[seddm]

Despite how frustrating this show can be how would you rate the writing quality overall? What did it do right? What did it do wrong? What should've had more focus & what changes could've been made to make this show as close to a 10/10 as possible? I like these types of discussions. I know S4 isn't done but I'd like your thoughts on this before "Curse of The Blood Moon" breaks our hearts. I feel like subverting expectations even if it's bad is common these days & I don't trust the show after LHF.

I’m terrible at making “reviews” or commenting on how something should have gone, but I’m going to try: if I had to rate the show’s writing in a more or less objective way I’d give it a 7.5, probably.

The characters are incredibly solid, as are their arcs (with some exceptions, sadly Pony and Janna never really got any tangible amount of growth despite their screentime): the first problem most episodic series have with characters is backtracking, having characters undergo apparently important epiphanies in given episodes, just for their behavior to barely change, at least until another epiphany moment comes up, while SVTFOE for the most part (it’s not perfect obviously) never shied away from major changes of the status quo connected to major moments of growth for the characters, leading to visibly different behaviors while still keeping the same core personality (i.e. Star is still a person with a tendency to rush things and to ignore painful problems, but compared to her S2 self, her S3 and S4 version greatly toned down these problems, or managed to integrate them in a more mature personality: in Yada Yada Berries Star did rush into things without properly thinking about why someone would try to statueify Eclipsa, but she still followed a trail of leads in an ordered way). Also events never force the characters to grow when they aren’t ready, every major change is preceded by a number of episodes priming emotions and feelings for an epiphany.

The dialogues are for the most part very good, they feel natural and flow easily and never really feel like padding put there because the boarders didn’t know how to get to the segment runtime. 

Comedy is highly subjective: personally I think it improved a lot following S1 (at the time the delivery of the jokes was very hit or miss to me, and it missed more often than not while still managing to be at least endearing), and is on average good. Jokes are not as polished nor have perfect comedic timing as other shows like Gravity Falls, but it still manages to make me laugh.

Plot... that’s probably the weakest part. On paper it’s very interesting, with a lot of interconnected elements at play and a compelling lore, but the payoff often falls short of what could have been. The show shines when it exposes plots in “calmer” ways, such as Into the Wand or Butterfly Trap, but then it’s not as good when it comes to the climax, such as Toffee’s defeat or Meteora’s arc following Skooled. It’s far from being what I would describe as bad, but it’s probably the weakest part of the show, and that’s particularly noticeable in a show that has a somewhat long spanning story.

Romance. I have an incredible number of opinions about this and it’s hard to be objective or write them in an ordered way. To keep things short, I think the show is very good at handling the relationship between characters and romance, especially on account of the aforementioned “developments are never forced but happen when everyone is ready”, but especially in this last season there’s the risk of taking too long for everyone to be ready, dragging thing a bit in a more “sitcom tier” conventional usage of drama. “Teens are dumb” is a good reason for things to take some time, and the character are believably dumb, but I think that with the end of S3 they kind wrote themselves in a corner where they’d have had to immediately tackle and solve a number of love related issues at the very beginning of S4. Since that was impossible, because that’s not the show’s style and because there was plot to happen and a whole new arc for Star, who has to rule her own feelings, we got into a weird situation where things aren’t bad, nor they are properly dragging, but it doesn’t feel like the outstanding love story I considered the show to be until recently. By sidelining the characters’ self awareness about their feelings (with understandable in universe reason, sure) the overall quality of this part of the writing slide down a notch in my opinion. Or, better, it simply became more apparent that the series never really tried to diverge much from an extremely standard serialized TV love story, they just managed to distract me from that this long thanks to the excellent handling of the characters’ and their emotions - something that’s still true, and I hope I’ll be able to keep claiming this even after Curse of the Blood Moon and until the show is over. In a way this last part should put us at ease, further evidence that the show is rather standard in its approach and is not going for any kind of weird and twisted subversion, but at the same time it also fills me with dread because going “standard handling” all the way, even more than it’s currently doing, could spell the end of a huge portion of interest in the series for me, and many fans in the fandom I’m sure. Curse will probably be the do or die episode, giving us strong evidences to gauge the direction the rest of the season is going to take. Fingers crossed.

[capmerthur]

THE BODY SWAP (final chapter)

It’s all in the title :) Somewhere end S1 (after 1.11 Labyrinth, but pre 1.13 Morte). In a land of myth, and a time of magic, Arthur awakes inside Merlin’s body (and no, not in that way). Alternating Merthur POV. Bonus Gaius. Mentions of Will and George.

Excerpt PART XV:

" Do you feel any different, Merlin? Please tell me it's gone."

The words stab through Merlin like a knife.

"I do feel like myself", Merlin asserts in the most joyful tone he can master while his heart splits in two, answering only the first question because at least then it's *not* a lie - even knowing the words mean the contrary of the truth in Arthur's opinion.

(PREVIOUS CHAPTERS UNDERS CHAPTER XV)

XV. TELL ME IT’S GONE (MERLIN POV)

"Do you feel any different, Merlin?"

Merlin had pondered the night before about how things could turn out, after having lifted the spell - if it worked, of course. And he cannot deny that he had thought, if only briefly, about how Arthur might simply come to accept his magic afterwards, as a new part of him; at least, Merlin wouldn't have to hide such an intrinsic part of himself from Arthur anymore, huh. It would have been a lie, too, though - even a greater one than simply keeping the original truth secret; and Merlin had felt guilty for having even ever entertained the wish for the easy way.

But now, Merlin understands that it isn't even an option anyway to start with. Arthur looks definitely worried. And there is no doubt in Merlin's mind about the answer Arthur wishes to hear, even before Arthur actually pleads for it:

"Please tell me it's gone."

The words stab through Merlin like a knife.

Admitting he has (no matter always or still) magic would only create distance between them now. Not even distance because Arthur might grow to mistrust him (you bet Merlin would never give him reasons to to start with); but simply, literally, a physical distance. Arthur would send him away. Arthur would not allow him to stay - not at his service, not in the castle, and not even within the borders of Camelot. Not because he might be a threat; simply because he wouldn't accept Merlin endangering himself - especially as he would feel responsible in the first place for having brought the trouble upon Merlin. In Arthur's eyes, Merlin going along on risky patrols is acceptable because it is, in fact, Merlin's own decision; but Merlin daily having to risk death in his own home for having magic meant to be Arthur's doom wouldn't be something Arthur would simply let be. That much is crystal clear.

And Merlin just doesn't want to, cannot, won't be sent away.

Which means he will have to lie then, anyway. And even worse: Merlin will now NEVER be able to tell the truth; Arthur will never get to know him - at least not fully. There would be no going back. Confessing the truth later on would only put a spotlight on the fact that he lied now...

Merlin though doesn't even hesitate. It's not only that he doesn't want to leave Arthur's side. It's also, simply, that he can't and won't have Arthur worry on his behalf.

"I do feel like myself", Merlin asserts in the most joyful tone he can master while his heart splits in two, answering only the first question because at least then it's *not* a lie - even knowing the words mean the contrary of the truth in Arthur's opinion.

/

For about three weeks, Arthur tests him - tests *it*. Making Merlin fall, throwing things his way - anything to trigger a defensive mechanism reaction. It's lucky Merlin has years of practice about refraining his magical surges, or he probably wouldn't have lasted an hour.

It settles though finally, once Arthur allows himself to believe Merlin is 'his usual self indeed'. The smile on Arthur's face as he speaks those words is both the most heartwarming and the most heartbreaking thing Merlin has ever seen.

.

THE END

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THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR AMAZING SUPPORT EVERYONE :) I HAVE SO MUCH FEEEEEEEEELS FOR/ABOUT THOSE TWO IDIOTS AND I HOPE I MADE THEM JUSTICE...

.

BACKSTORY : WHO THE HELL DID IT ? (I'M SURE YOU ALL WONDER...)

1) I could have gone fluffy (Merlin thought about having Arthur truly knowing him, or understanding what it is to be him, or something, before falling asleep, and his magic interprets it poorly and messes up. BUT Merlin is too attuned to his magic, he deals with it since his birth, that sort of magic blunders clearly belongs in the past...

2) I could have gone naughty (Merlin dreams about Arthur being inside him and him being inside Arthur in a physical way, and his magic interprets it poorly and messes up. But 1) see 1, and 2) Merlin imo just DOESN'T permit himself that sort of thoughts about Arthur. No way. He is so DEVOTED to Arthur, it would feel like disrespect, especially as soon as in S1. (He will long as time goes by for more contact and closeness though - but I think Merlin never permits himself to think further than the fact that he longs; instead of the specifics of what exactly he might long for). Also, to begin with anyway, imo Merlin doesn't permit himself that sort of thoughts about anyone in general too. I think he's honestly cautious about sex, because it includes losing control, which means his magic getting revealed somehow (how do you think Will ever found out, huh? Headcanon time: Will is older and tells him once about masturbating feeling like magic and Merlin tries and makes a butterfly and the next time he sees Will he's like 'wow, you were right, i made a butterfly' and Will is like ?); so it's just a BIG NO, with everyone and all the time. (It also explains in part too imo why he falls for Freya - she knows magic too, therefore not only does she understand him without need for justification and explanation, but also she is a potential mate, physically too - with her, it's safe. And as the prophecy says Arthur *will* be king, as long as Uther lives he should be alright, technically, so Merlin thinks maybe he CAN have it all after all, somehow - go with Freya until the time comes for him to return at Arthur's side...)

SO: IT'S NIMUEH.

The boys got it all wrong. No one is after Arthur, neither his body, neither his mind... It's just Nimueh coming for *Merlin*.

She understood Merlin has magic in 1.03, and decided he must be gone, in order for her to have her revenge on Uther = 1.04

But Merlin survived (as she realizes by 1.09)!

So to be rid of Merlin she switches Merlin and Arthur (=this fic) - that way, Merlin can't use his magic (and Arthur neither, because you don't learn how to deal with magical abilities overnight... normally at least, she has no idea about how powerful Merlin's magic is) - and she sends the Questing Beast (begin of 1.13) after ARTHUR'S BODY (because it is in fact Merlin) (and it's not kiling Arthur, as he can live on in Merlin's body...)

But, when later in 1.13 Merlin comes to her to beg for Arthur's life, she realizes that Merlin is still in fact in his body, which either means that he is too powerful for her to put a spell on him, or powerful enough to have find a way to reverse the spell even without his magic, which can only means that Merlin is Emrys, and she wants to bring him on her side more than kill him, now that she knows of his importance. And as she wasn't as she says supposed to be the one killing Arthur, she agrees to help (but cannot take Merlin's life, knowing he's the almighty Emrys, so takes his mother then Gaius instead as she doesn't really mind who goes anyway...)

SEE? IT MAKES (SOME) SENSE (And gave me the perfect opportunity to use Bradley's idea, because honestly - WHY DIDN'T THEY USE IT IN THE SHOW! I'm not that much into body swap in general, but in this MAGICAL universe to start with, and with those two idiots? It just works. SO, for the last time, everyone, say: THANK YOU BRADLEY :))

.

(By the way, as we're at it, another headcanon: it is more guilt than love that drives Uther / Ygraine. The questing beast was supposed to come for him - a price he had been ready to pay to have a legitimate masculine heir. But Ygraine sprung in between or something, saving him and dying. I cannot buy the love of my life thing knowing he cheated on her behind her back; and guilt is enough of a vicious motivator on his own too...)

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(PREVIOUS CHAPTERS)

I. AWAKING (ARTHUR POV)

Arthur awakes; lying on his back - unusual - and rolls over automatically.

He surprisingly falls, down, hard; and jerks fully awake now - on the floor, near a so very tiny bed, tangled in an unknown blanket (harsher than his standards, even while on errands, he can’t help but notice).

In disbelief, he eyes his surroundings…

Where is he? Has he been abducted?

Think, he admonishes himself - trying to clear his mind; to remember what must have happened, to guess who has dared to commit such an act, and, most important of all right now: Find a way out.

His eyes then suddenly meet Merlin’s, and relief surges through him somehow - Merlin is alive - before his anxiety returns; and double: because poor faithful, loyal Merlin has obviously been taken too; and it’s Arthur’s fault - he must have failed to save them both from being taken, even though he cannot remember anything…

Except when Arthur reaches out to Merlin for him to come closer (they need to share information and plan, but must be quiet as a mouse), he realizes with fright but indeniable certainty that Merlin is in fact a reflection in a mirror; and worse: *HIS* reflection!?

It his NOT his hand indeed that is stretching out in front of him; NOT his clothes on his person; and definitely NOT his own hair falling upon his eyes, as he notices the black strings in his vision range…

Arthur is dumbstruck. He sees Merlin’s mouth shaping a silent O, and he sees the dread in Merlin’s eyes… except they ARE - he feels - *his* mouth, and *his* eyes; and everything is just plainly wrong, and plainly impossible - but undeniably REAL.

He is… Merlin? Or better said, *inside* Merlin? How can such a thing have even come to be?

Sorcery, Arthur understands with horror: Camelot is under attack!

But now armed with the knowledge of his predicament, Arthur realizes he is actually in Merlin’s bedroom. He’s been in here before, once; and he recognizes it all now.

So. Not abducted. All things considered, that still counts as something, right…

And, as it surely doesn’t feel as if Merlin is still somewhere in his own head too while Arthur is inside of it, well… Maybe? Logically? Merlin might then be in return inside his own body?

Arthur suddenly finds himself praying for this to be true. It would be for the best, if Merlin was in his body - if they were the only ones concerned by this unnatural situation; because what if *everyone* was awaking inside someone else’s body this morning? That would be… precarious - the general panic leaving Camelot completely vulnerable to whoever must have plotted this? The worst though would be if the one responsible for this was right now in control of his body, and acting as Crown Prince to do, well, evil deeds… So yes, you bet Arthur truly wants to find Merlin to be the one inside his own body when he finally finds it.

Arthur jumps on his feet, ready for action. Luckily (even though Arthur feels a bit guilty, as he notices his armour in pristine state against the opposite wall - apparently Merlin has been polishing it late into the night then) Merlin hasn’t bothered to undress before falling asleep.

So. First thing first: he has to go to his chamber.

Picking some weapon on the way for good measure, you bet …

/

Simply walking the few paces to open the door though turns out to be a challenge. His limbs are too long, and dangly; it feels like he has two left feet, and he has to try thrice before actually getting a grip on the handle - because he isn’t used to this body, of course - but maybe it is truly NOT Merlin’s fault if he trips over his own feet that often after all…

Gaius is already out - hopefully looking for herbs and not wandering out of his mind… Arthur would have preferred to be able to test right away his theories about how many people were affected by the damn body change; but unfortunately, it would have to wait some more.

The corridors are empty too, except for a stray black cat who walks at his side long enough for Arthur to start questioning himself about asking to the cat if he *is* Merlin - because Merlin HAS to be somewhere, right, as he obviously isn’t where he should be to start with; but then the cat takes another turn… Arthur feels stupid for worrying so much about his silly manservant - but he cannot deny that he definitely will worry less only after having indeed finally found said silly manservant.

Arthur relaxes slighthly though when he enters the kitchen: people are working as usual, apparently not in shock, apparently in their right bodies. He picks up the first tray he finds, along with an extra knife that he hides in his pocket for good measure.

He tries to put on a confident grin as he walks (with the most assurance he can muster in this awkward-feeling body) towards the guards at his bedroom’s door - and can only hope it will look the same as usual to them. They let him pass without trouble, and Arthur isn’t sure whether it’s a good thing. On the one hand, he *doesn’t* doubt Merlin - he simply, intrinsically doesn’t; and would never want him to feel like he did if his guards were to search him whenever he was about to enter his chamber. On the other hand… well, it isn’t Merlin right now entering his chamber, with knifes at the ready… This time, it’s only him; but what if it happens again, and if the one then inside Merlin’s body has ill intentions…

Deciding not to dwell on this for the time being, Arthur enters his bedroom - hoping to find Merlin doing whatever Merlin always does, but preparing for a fight, if need be…

.

II. AWAKING (MERLIN POV)

Merlin awakes as if in a cocoon; literally. He is surrounded by softness, flush, warmth; he cannot remember ever feeling so comfortable - and the world can wait for just another few seconds before he opens his eyes, right… Merlin wriggles, shifting on his back, sighing softly as he nestles some more into the cushions…

When Merlin awakes for the second time - culpability sinking in as he realizes he has overslept - his eyes open to a Pendragon red canopy he would recognize even among hundreds. Merlin freezes: what the hell is he doing, sleeping IN ARTHUR’S BED?!

Merlin sits upright at once - blankets falling all around him to reveal that he wears ARTHUR’S NIGHTGOWN too ?!

Whaaaaaaaat?!

This… just DOESN’T make any sense. The last thing he can remind is sitting on his own bed, polishing the last bit of Arthur’s armour before letting himself fall down to sleep (*AN). He surely doesn’t recall walking to Arthur’s chamber, and even less…

Merlin’s mind is reeling as he shuffles out of bed as swiftly as he can. Oh my… What is Arthur going to think? And come to think of it - true panic now creeping down on Merlin at that thought: *WHERE* is Arthur to start with?

His attention is drawn out right then by Arthur calling out his name (Merlin feels relief, no matter his current embarrassing situation) - in one of those thousands yet unmistakably always Arthurian ways to say his name: a myriad of moods and meanings in those simple two syllables - the voice sounding odd though this morning (is Arthur sick?), and tensed (well, he just found his manservant in *his* bed, that might explain it!).

Merlin turns to face his sovereign, trying to feel less self conscious because he mustn’t look guilty, while wishing for inspiration, and buying time until it hits: “There is actually a perfectly valid explan-”

But it is NOT Arthur he sees: it is… himself? His breath catches as ‘utter confusion’ gets a new meaning, you bet…

At the same moment, Merlin notices suddenly just how *not his* his voice has just sounded, and how he’s wearing a very particular ring around one finger of what’s NOT his hand, and how *blond* hair is falling upon his eyes… And still nothing makes sense; but at least it *does* explain how he awoke in Arthur’s bed in Arthur’s clothes: he *is* Arthur?; and… Arthur… is him? MUST be him. He has been calling his name right the right way, right?!

“Sire?” Merlin barely dares to breathe out, both in wonder and in plea (because Arthur CANNOT be gone - the fear and pain and simple *impossibility* of such a concept slicing through Merlin’s mind like a knife).

There is a bright smile then appearing on his face - a smile that doesn’t entirely look like his own though - “Yes, Merlin. It’s me,” followed by a relieved sigh: “And it’s you”. And, despite the shock about them having apparently switched bodies (?!?!), Merlin can’t help but feel warm all over - because Arthur (and yes, it is so clearly Arthur, even in HIS body!) has apparently been worried about him.

.

(*AN) Headcanon time :

Merlin uses magic to clean Arthur’s armour in the beginning, indeed. And he still uses magic for most of the chores, as much as he can, of course (washing clothes, mending clothes, emptying chamber pots, sweeping fireplaces, preparing baths, refreshing beds, cleaning floors, cleaning everything, really (except for mucking the stables, because there are always others around, grrrr). But he quickly grows nearly *maniac* about Arthur’s food (picking at it as a way to make sure it’s not poisoned etc…) and about Arthur’s armour: it’s one of Arthur’s protections - so you bet Merlin definitely cleans and polishes and repairs and oils the leather ligaments that hold it together and EVERYTHING the hell out of it, with extra ardor and fervor, with his own two hands, all the while continuously trying to put on it any protecting spells he ever finds, and repeating those over and over at each occasion…  Also, mirrors were probably not so advanced at the time… But let’s say Merlin has an enhanced one, after all he has magic, right…

On a side note, I’m never going to be over Arthur’s priority-thinking (I’m in trouble = CAMELOT IS UNDER ATTACK (babyyyy let me hold you - being Camelot Prince/King is NOT your only worth) and Merlin’s priority-thinking (what the hell is happening = WHERE THE HELL IS ARTHUR (babyyyy let me hold you - your devotion to The (brave, kind, admirable (shut up Merlin)) Prat doesn’t have to mean that you always must come second (and a bit self-preservation cannot be harmful)) *SIGH* I just love those two idiots so much !!!

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III. DISABLED (MERLIN POV)

But soon, Merlin is terrified.

And not because of the puzzling body swap.

*HE HAS NO MAGIC!?*

(Not that Merlin knows of any spell to reverse their current situation at once, mind you; so he doesn’t actually try anything about it. But Merlin simply knows: there is nothing but blood running through his veins now - no vigorous warmth, no energic flow; there is simply nothing singing under his placid flesh, as he focuses on it.)

He cannot help but wish he’s wrong though, and desperately tries to move a quill on Arthur’s desk behind Arthur’s back - the simplest of things, really; yet he fails, indeed…

His magic is tied to his body. Not to his mind.

No, no, no, no, nooooooooooo.

Merlin is, to his core, *terrified* - as he has never been. Not only because he feels more powerless and utterly helpless than he has ever felt - and worse, unable to protect Arthur! But also because the longer Arthur stays in his body, the more chances he has to find out that he has magic!? (And even though Merlin has nearly told Arthur, once? He is still not ready for him to know right now… Will after all didn’t lie to protect Merlin’s secret on his deathbed for Merlin to take chances with his life so soon after…)

Merlin though decides to push his panic aside for the moment: he simply MUST focus. No matter which sorcerer has this week decided to deal with the Pendragon line once and for all, Arthur’s life is undoubtedly in the balance; and that’s dearer to Merlin than all the magic in the world - included his own.

Because Merlin’s life *has* tilted, on that rocky beach by The Great Seas of Meredor.

Merlin’s earnest readiness to lay his life down to save Arthur’s had been instinctive, beyond doubt visceral; and the concrete force of the impulse had surprised him. Because it hadn’t been related to his first supposed then anyway indeed wished upon destiny. It had merely been a reflex, a spontaneous reaction: what he had wanted to do; more than what he ought to do. And Merlin had realized right then that he had, somehow, but undeniably, actually come to *LOVE* Arthur? He had known, for some time, that he liked him. And he had felt oddly pleased when Arthur had turned up at Ealdor - maybe Arthur liked him too? But if your first thought when someone is threatened is ‘I’d rather die than see him die’? Well, there is a kind of selfishness, even in seflessness, that goes beyond ‘liking’, right…

It shouldn’t have been such a shocking revelation though. Sure, Arthur could be a spoiled, royal prat; an irritating, pompous ass; an arrogant, moronic bully - to list but the top of the iceberg of his massive shortcomings, and without even mentioning the complete dollophead he could sometimes be. But Arthur could also be truly brave, honest, and kind; willing not only to trust but also to actually defend the words of mere servants, ready to defy his father’s orders in order to save a child’s life, and volunteering to help a village not even belonging to his Kingdom, to note only a few examples. Also: at some point, Merlin had realized how what could at first appear as near manhandling tactility was in fact just Arthur’s disguised way to show (or ask?) affection (because one probably just doesn’t walk around asking for cuddles while growing up between Uther’s judging cold glares and Morgana’s sharp witty tongue; and the physical occasional playfulness of the knights training must have seemed like the only way to go…). And last but not least: Merlin owed Arthur his life - if Arthur hadn’t gone looking for a Mortaeus flower… So, in short: of course Merlin had gotten fond of the man. For his own values; and not because he was meant to be the other side of his coin or something. And notwithstanding how so annoyingly beautiful he always was (for the record on that particular subject: Gwen is so adorably beautiful, and Morgana so petrifyingly beautiful).

But, as Arthur - bound to be King one day Arthur - hadn’t even hesitate before choosing to sacrifice himself, in order to fix what he had recognized to be his error, instead of using the (even offered) life of a simple servant? Well… There is a difference still between having the conviction that Arthur is a good man ready to fight for the greater good, even knowing it could be his death; and knowing as a FACT that Arthur *is* a good man ready to *die* for the greater good, even knowing it *will* be his death. And you bet having been proven *exactly* how pure of heart Arthur intrinsically is has only cemented that burgeoning love deeper into Merlin’s heart - simply; truly; and maybe irrevocably. Merlin would now willingly die a thousand deaths to save his Prince.

.

(Feel free to shout with me about 1.11 because *MAJOR FEELS*!)

(And then hug me as I shamelessly cry because this is still NOTHING next to what’s to come - aka Arthur becoming ACHINGLY beautiful, as Merlin turns ready to KILL a thousands times to save his King, blackening his own heart in the process and thinking himself then unworthy of Arthur’s love because Arthur is just so BRIGHT; but wishing for it nonetheless?)

.

IV. PLANNING (MERLIN POV)

Arthur, miraculously (even though understandably; because he must be shaken too, right), is unaware of Merlin’s internal crisis as he shares what he’s uncovered until now: “It seems to be just us. The kitcheners and the guards all seem to be themselves.”

“So. Whoever has done this is targetting you - personnally.”

“Nice to see your wits are still so very particularly sharp, Merlin. Is there any reason for the one behind all this to be targetting you?”

It is beyond odd to *hear* Arthur’s usual tone in his own voice; but Merlin still has the grace to sigh, before pushing his point further: “But why you?”

“Well, obviously *you*’ve forgotten, but I am Camelot’s Crown Prince, responsib-.”

“Which is exactly what’s bothering me!” Merlin can’t help but interject. “Why take on the Prince when you can take on the King?”

“Oh… Do you think… Could someone be… training on us, then? Before attacking-”

“I honestly have no idea. Maybe you got targetted indeed because you’re head of security. We shouldn’t rule anything out.”

Arthur brings his fist down on the table, determinedly: “Well, whatever the evil plan might be, we just cannot permit for it to work. We’ll have to find a way to stop this nonsense - no offense. In the meantime, we must act as if nothing unusual is going on. It might be for the time being our best chance at keeping Camelot safe - making whoever planned this think the spell didn’t work?”

Merlin can’t help but let out a helpless (yet realistic) sigh: “That’s… a lot; on both accounts.”

Arthur echoes with a helpless sigh of his own: “I know.”

/

But if they are to keep up pretenses, Merlin is going to need to be prepared: “So. What’s on your agenda for today - besides the monthly open pleas this morning and the daily training this afternoon?”

“Nothing particular. And there are no coming feasts nor abroad visits planned for the coming time, thankfully. (worried sigh) But there’s concil, tomorrow.”

“Well, let’s start at the beginning. I should do fine enough for the pleas. It’s mostly your father’s duty; your presence is required, of course, but mostly you’re to hear and listen…” Fear grips Merlin at once: “But it’s public; so it would be a great opportunity to try to murder you!” He MUST protect Arthur’s body: “Will you please go fetch your chainmail in my room?”

“No.”

The tone is definitive, and Merlin is torn between begging, or growing impatient - because Arthur can be so obtuse sometimes (now really isn’t the time for Arthur to be feeling indignation about being ordered around like a simple servant; even though he *is* one at the moment - not that Merlin would ever think he was one, of course - but what if Arthur thinks he does and enjoys the chance at some payback?): “Arthur, please (again?). It’s the expected type of errands of the body you momentarily (because it MUST be momentarily, right?) inhabit - I can’t - You’re the target. I need your chainmail. I have no fighting skills, nor any kind of skills really to protect yo-”

“I cannot be seen wandering the castle in my chainmail without reason, Merlin; it would attract attention”, Arthur interrupts in a somehow gentler tone; and Merlin realizes that Arthur hadn’t registered at first how Merlin’s concern was about him, more than himself - and is obviously humbled by the thought. “Court clothes are required, anyway. We’re not supposed to look threatening, nor threatened, when our subjects come to present their wishes,” Arthur pursues, killing any possible protest in the bud. “Besides, the guards will be present. So don’t worry too much about anything happening to us”, Arthur ends in a lower voice; as if the last part had been more a thought to reassure himself than a phrase meant to be uttered - and Merlin just has to savour that precious ‘us’…

Merlin though isn’t reassured enough about his Prince’s safety: “Please (yes, that’s thrice; adamant much?) Sire, at least allow me to wear your thickest leather under your tunic” - willing his voice to make it sound like a not-to-be-denied demand more than a true question.

Arthur holds his gaze; and it actually feels like a blessing when he finally relents: “As you wish; but it won’t be comfortable against naked skin.”

“I’ll manage.” Merlin can’t help but fidget some before pursuing - asking Arthur to do what is and should be *his* work feeling not only weird but even wrong: “But I’ll need your help to tie it in the back?”

Arthur dimissively tousles his hair, grumbling: “I *know*, Merlin.” 'My clothes’ going unsaid.

Merlin can be relieved about one thing, at least: Arthur obviously isn’t piqued about doing a servant’s work…

/

Merlin picks out the largest fitting of Arthur’s clothes. He puts on the braies and trousers while still wearing the gown, respectfully tying the belt blindly around his waist. He puts on socks, and shoes. Then only does he take the gown off, and turns his back towards Arthur so that he may help with adjusting the leather’s straps.

A surprised but definitely pleased whisper (“Impressive, ain’t I?”) echoes in Merlin’s ears, as the Prat Prince seems apparently unable not to comment about his damn broad back, angling Merlin shortly that way and this way as if to assess it even better.

'Believe me, I know’, Merlin can’t refrain from thinking; feeling a blush coming over his face, and thankful that Arthur is too busy looking at his own back to notice any of it.

“I think I might even have outgrown Sir Leon - in width at least if not in height”, Arthur concludes proudly before finally starting to work the ties - leaving Merlin suddenly ashamed of his initial internal reprimand, and oddly upset. Of course Arthur would only wish to see in his physique the strength of a warrior. Of course his first thought, when finally able to actually see his own back, would be to compare it to his given models - the Knights; and most of all among them, to his own chosen model, Leon - both the noblest and strongest of them all, yet young enough to play the part of the older brother Arthur could look up to while growing up… No one has probably ever told him that he is beautiful, Merlin realizes sadly. But the fact that Arthur is so unaware only makes him even more beautiful in Merlin’s eyes…

Merlin forces himself to tease Arthur, hiding his turmoil under their usual banter: “Well, I could ask Gabriel to take measurements, if you so badly wish-”

“Shut up, Merlin”, accompanied by a rewarding hit in the back of his right shoulder, which Merlin gladly revels in, no matter the unusual fist size. This, no matter their predicament, feels normal.

And in that short moment of normalcy, when everything feels just right as Arthur ends tying the leather, Merlin notices something he hasn’t noticed before, when all he could feel was STRESS.

Oh no.

/

“Sire?” Merlin can’t help but wince at the intimidated tone in his voice as he turns around; and Arthur is eyeing him now with furrowed eyebrows. “I think I need - I mean you need… to… have to go?”

Arthur makes a face - with his face; except it still looks somehow like a typical outraged Arthur face (damn, this is just too confusing…): “Merlin!”

“He! Do not look at me like this is my fault! It’s *YOUR* body! Maybe you shouldn’t have drun-”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have brought a full pitcher at dinner then!”

They eye each other, both unrelenting over who is at fault.

And Merlin can’t help but think that somehow he is, indeed, no matter what. Because there are levels in intimacy; and he IS definitely crossing a line. There is a difference between being around and trying to avoid his gaze when Arthur walks in and out of his bath, or applying Gaius’s healing balm to bruises on Arthur’s back because it’s a place Arthur can’t reach on his own, and, well… watching and touching Arthur’s *manhood*, even if only for urinating, technically ensuring no mess is done while doing it?

Arthur suddenly sighs though, and his voice sounds kinder as he offers: “This will surely happens a few times before we sort it all out, huh. To the both of us. So. How should we proceed?”

Merlin scratches his head, summoning some courage: “Do you want to… hold-”

“Your hand, Merlin!”, Arthur demonstrates, lifting the would-be-culprit in the air and wiggling its fingers for good measure; and that’s a 'No way’ if Merlin ever heard one…

“Would you rather it to be your hand-”

“It’s *your* hand right now!” Indeed. So. Another 'No way’.

But suddenly Merlin has a solution, of sort: “What if I… go sit into the stream? There’s a quiet spot not so far from the castle I found while collecting herbs for Gaius… If I hurry I still can make it back before the pleas.”

Arthur actually claps his hands, obviously relieved: “Sometimes, I swear, you are a genius.” He hurries over, handing Merlin his tunic and grabbing the Pendragon red doublet before marching out: “Let’s go!”

“You’re coming?” (hastening to put the tunic on and grabbing a towel before following)

“Well, as I just said, it’s bound to happen to me - you - so I might just as well tag along, and know where it is.”

/

Once out of potentially spying ears reach, they plan the day further.

“We HAVE to tell Gaius, at the least, about our situation: no one will contest his word if he says you’re not to train for a while - because honestly how am I supposed to spare with your Knights? They will notice right away that something isn’t right. And, well…”

Merlin hesitates, not wanting to incriminate Gaius in any way. As it turns out, he doesn’t have to:

“You’re right. Besides, Gaius has heard about a lot of… stuff, in all his years. I was planning to go around Jeffrey and look for the forbidden books, but I have no ideas how many volumes are hidden down here, nor where they even *are* to start with… If anyone we know might have even the slightest clue about how to fix our problem, it’s him; even if it’s only about finding an adequate book.”

Merlin nods, relieved: “So. After the pleas, I stage a fall, and we go to Gaius, who tells you’re not to train for the time being. That leaves the rest of the day free, both for looking up about our situation, and briefing me on what I should be aware of for tomorrow’s concil. Do you address things in an established order; who’s whose specialisms; what you discussed by the latest concils which might be brought up again tomorrow; and so on…”

“I’m supposed to make the battle plans, Merlin? But as far as plans go, I have to admit this isn’t a bad one. Except I’m not you; I do not trip on my feet twice a day. So. I’ll make you fall. That’s more plausible.”

“No way! You’ll end up in the stocks!” Merlin realizes how - no matter what he might have been thinking just a few months ago - he simply doesn’t want Arthur in the stocks. Ever. “Which is NOT where you should be spending your afternoon.” Merlin quickly amends; hiding his concern under logic’s sake, knowing it to be the best way to persuade Arthur anyway. “So. You fall. I try to help you. But we both fall. I’m clumsy, as ever; you’re noble, as always; everyone get to laugh at me, and praise you; and your father might skip punishing me for you getting hurt in the process, as you obviously didn’t want me hurt to start with?” (pause, before adding earnestly, yet fiercely, as Merlin isn’t able to tone back the surge of threat in his eyes at the mere idea of having anyone disrespecting Arthur in that way) “If he doesn’t though, I’ll stand guard next to you.”

“Would you?” Arthur seems surprised; but touched: “Well, who knows, maybe I’ll return the favor the next time.”

Merlin can’t refrain a whine: “The next time?”

“Even I can’t save you from my father’s wrath every time; it’s bound to happen, either from your two left foots or your snarky mouth.”

They can hear the water now, and Arthur accelerates towards it, as Merlin lags behind, unable not to smile:

“I guess I’m supposed to say 'thank you’?”

“I might have forgotten to mention I’ll probably throw something in your face myself at the last moment. Prince’s privilege and all that…” - Arthur even turns towards him, giving him one of his goofy faces to boot (Merlin didn’t know *his* face could do *that*, by the way).

Merlin just keeps on smiling anyway. He probably hasn’t felt that brightly, positively, ridiculously happy since “I’m rehiring you - because someone needs to muck out my stables”. Arthur has a particular way to express fondness, and Merlin wouldn’t change it for the world.

.

V. THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MERLIN (ARTHUR POV)

Arthur is the first to reach the stream, and crouches down to test the water with his hand.

“It’s cold”, he warns, while Merlin walks in a straight line towards a tree with a low hanging branch and starts undressing - he does come here often, clearly.

Merlin shrugs: “Be grateful it’s not winter yet. Try bathing around Imbolc - that’s cold.” Merlin goes on; stating an afterthought while hanging his pants on the branch: “Still worth it though; everything here is just more… alive, you know. You don’t get that indoors.”

And Arthur has bathed on patrols enough to know that, honestly?: he prefers his warm baths. He can’t help but feel a smile on his face though at the words; they are so intrinsically Merlin.

/

Arthur had been struck, when they had met. No one had ever defied him, in any way. And it had stung; Arthur could admit. So. He had not been displeased at all when he had overmastered the fool and turned him over. The affront had been too public to be allowed to slide, and Arthur had decided he wouldn’t dwell a further thought about the goodhearted fool (Arthur knew terrorrizing people wasn’t right. He tended though to react badly whenever anyone acted cowardly (which was, well, all the time, around him); especially as he was actually *praised* for it somehow), but fool nonetheless, who should have known to mind his own business…

It had been nothing though in comparison to his surprise when their paths had crossed again. Arthur hadn’t been able NOT to taunt him - hoping, somehow… But the last thing Arthur had been actually expecting had been for Merlin to act *exactly the same*. Surely, now that he knew who he was, he would just scrabble around him as anyone else - not defy him again, knowing it would get him in chains again, right? Arthur had been *delighted* by Merlin’s untamable fire - the words, and then the look he had thrown at him while taking his jacket off? (Maybe Arthur had just been waiting all his life for someone to finally stand his ground to him, indeed…) Of course Arthur had let him go without punishment that second time - and any time since then (which was honestly difficult, as Merlin - always fighting for what was right more than for himself Merlin - frequently got riled up, be it in private OR IN PUBLIC, by literally anyone and anything).

Since he has been to Ealdor though, Arthur can’t help but see things under a new light.

Hunith is everything Arthur believes a loving mother to be. But there had been no father at home, nor any mention of one. (Arthur knows the sting of this kind of wound - missing a parent; and he had been saddened, as he had realized that Merlin bore such a wound too.) Arthur hadn’t dared to ask, but he had wondered: did Merlin ever got a father to start with; or had he been abandoned - intentionally or not? (Arthur knows how even an accident still feels akin to a betrayal in a child’s heart.) Which would be the worst anyway? But what if Merlin had been bullied through his childhood because of it? - children could be particularly malicious, when they intended to… Was it how Merlin had learned, the hard way, that fighting - both with his words and his fists - was the only way to end the pestering? And had decided it wouldn’t be only for his own sake, but for the sake of anyone who might ever need help? Was it what had brought Merlin close to Will - the fact that they both had lost their father? Was it the reason Will had wanted to learn magic to start with? (Arthur knows the near constant anger, too. As does Merlin, obviously.)

Arthur can’t help but feel grateful anew, somehow, and no matter what, still, that Merlin has had Will around: surely, no matter how bad the fights Merlin had jumped into, Will must have kept him safe - at least safe enough - *with his magic*. The thought had been unbidden the first time it had occured, and had definitely surprised Arthur; but he hadn’t been able to deny that it was what he truly felt indeed.

/

Because of course Arthur had come to care for Merlin. Isn’t it why he had gone to Ealdor to start with after all…

Merlin.

Definitely not an ordinary manservant. And probably not the champion manservant by any book (fast learner, and smart, and hard working, he was; but only about what *he* deemed important - hence for example his total disregard for any kind of storage? - but Arthur generally agreed with what Merlin deemed important or not anyway). But honestly the only manservant Arthur now could imagine ever having - or ever want to have.

Because Arthur likes Merlin as his manservant exactly just the way he is, and would now never wish for another - no matter (and specifically because of) how well-schooled and zealous to satisfy his every need (and whim) that hypothetic other might be… Arthur now sees what others might judge flaws as assets (Merlin’s clumsiness and chattiness are more endearing and uplifting than unefficient, especially as his opinions always sound reasonable; his sarcasm and insults are a sure way to keep Arthur’s head from ever getting inflated; and his challenging manners push Arthur to do and be better - from training with the knights to saving people’s lifes), and what others might judge insubordinate as being treated, for once, finally, as an equal, somehow (even though they both know and acknowledge they aren’t) - no matter whenever it comes out at Arthur’s expanse too, food getting shoved into his mouth and getting unceremoniously pulled out of bed included in their everyday banter, as Merlin can give just as much as he gets indeed. But that’s maybe what Arthur values the most: how Merlin’s respect feels earned and honest; neither forced by birthright or fear for repercussions, nor cajoling nor calculated.

Arthur has never had a private servant for longer than a year - his Father’s rule; but you bet Arthur is decided about keeping Merlin at his side when the year would end. He will have to strategize; he will need irrefutable arguments. But if he plays his cards well - and Merlin never ceases to hand him over cards to play - Arthur has no doubt that his Father will actually allow it: it’s in the best interest of the Kingdom after all.

Merlin.

A whirlwind. Always animated, always busy; never still, even when he’s doing nothing. But always so expressive - so easy to read - a fact Arthur has come not only to appreciate after decades around perpetually guarded scheming faces, but even to *trust*.

A chatty nature-loving poet with dangly limbs, gentle heart, and the brightest smile Arthur has ever seen - Arthur has come to know. Yet the sassiest mouth and the most unrelenting fighter Arthur has ever met; his utter lack of skills balanced by sheer defiance - Arthur has learned right from the start. (Merlin just never backs off, no matter the odds; which is very stupid, but also very brave.)

A confusing, clashing mess of contraries. But an admirable man, with a beautiful soul.

And you bet Arthur wouldn’t have him be any different.

Arthur shakes his head. Maybe - just like with his two left feet - it isn’t Merlin’s choice to be such a poet all the time. Arthur hasn’t been inside Merlin’s body for more than a few hours, and already he is turning into a maudlin bard himself, huh…

/

Arthur sighs; bringing himself back to the present - only to be struck by Merlin yet again.

Merlin has by now disrobed of everything except for the leather, which he has rolled up to his chest (logic; it would take too much time to tie it up all once more), and the tunic, which he now holds tightly in a bundle against his chest too, even if (and no doubt exactly because) it must get in his vision range as he enters the water. The lengths Merlin now goes again, simply to avoid to *see* - treating his body with the utmost respect, even when it is betraying him?

It should be insignificant, but the whole endeavour screams once more just how *devoted* Merlin always is, to him; and it is honestly dumbfounding.

He has been willing to die for me. And more than once.

The thought slices through Arthur’s mind; as usual charged with guilt, and heartbreaking, yet oddly sweet.

Arthur doesn’t understand: he has truly done very little to earn such high esteem - and that’s an euphemism. Getting the man in the stocks? Letting him drink poison destined for him? Having his only friend die?

But you bet Arthur cherishes it all the same. And he wants - oh, he WANTS - to be worthy of it. Not because it’s what he ought to do, repaying kindness with kindness, loyalty with loyalty; and definitely not because he owes Merlin a friend - you can’t replace a friend (even if Arthur never actually had a friend, he knows that it’s supposed to be a special, powerful, unique bond). Not even because Merlin does indeed makes him want to be a better man - even if that’s true, and definitely positive for the future of Camelot. But simply because HE. WANTS. TO. Arthur has realized by now how he is always tempted, whenever they are together: either to act silly in order to cause a smile; or to provoke Merlin until he bites. Both reactions feel peculiarly satisfying; spreading a pleasant warmth through his whole being - and Arthur just always has to smile…

So.

On impulse, Arthur disrobes Merlin’s lower half and enters the (indeed very cold) water while holding his tunic bundled up too, keeping his eyes stubbornly fixed on his own body sinking until the water reaches up to above its waist, as Merlin sits on his knees in the middle of the stream. And yes, the fact that Arthur has just chosen to abide by Merlin’s stubborn dedication on that matter, instead of letting his perpetual interest about literally everything run free, for once, (because yes, if he hadn’t witnessed Merlin’s commitment, Arthur might have taken a look at Merlin’s body, out of sheer curiosity; he wouldn’t though, not from now on…), is both a pledge and a self-serving whim.

Merlin, drawn by the sounds, turns to him with questioning eyebrows, and Arthur sheepishly drops on his knees next to him: “I thought it unfair to let you have all the fun on your own. Now, ready to scare the fish?”

Merlin howls with laughter. Arthur decides it’s definitely worth playing silly while freezing his ass off.

.

(Imbolc = 31 january)

Feel free to come and fangirl with me over 1.01 and then scream with me over 1.10 !

On a side note, I’m sorry but not sorry about that fish line? It was *totally* unplanned but then it just rolled out and I went 'yep, sure, arthur would, totally; it stays!’ ?

.

VI. THE PRINCE’S PART (ALTERNATE ARTHUR/MERLIN POV)

They get out; get dried; put their clothes back on. Merlin ties the towel to the branch, for future use.

Then, on their way back to the castle, Arthur asks Merlin about his agenda for the day.

Merlin gives him a look - like he’s unsure whether Arthur means it. Arthur gives him a look back - meaning he isn’t joking indeed.

Merlin smiles, eyes full of mirth: “Your chambers are a complete mess, your clothes need washing, your boots need cleaning, your dogs need exercising, your fireplace needs sweeping, your bed needs changing and, oh, *someone* needs to muck out your stables.” Merlin sobers up. “But we have more pressing matters at hand; so I think you can consider yourself free for the day.”

Arthur is taken aback. He recognizes his own words, of course. It’s both baffling and humbling - that Merlin can quote him, months later? and that Merlin has omitted one part and one part only in his old speech, because they both know his armour doesn’t need any repairing (the devotion Merlin shows those metal pieces echoing the devotion he shows to Arthur himself)? Arthur had first planned to give a playful thankful bow; but it would feel wrong.

“So. I’ll go bother Geoffrey. Try to get him to show me where the secret books are hidden. I’ll tell him Gaius has found a strange herb and wants to make sure it isn’t dangerous or something…”

/

Merlin has to give Arthur that: he is indeed insightful.

The mention of Gaius’s name though has Merlin slightly panicking again: Gaius doesn’t know yet about their current situation. What if he mentions 'something’ upon walking on Arthur thinking he is him? No. Merlin has to be there when they’ll get to see Gaius.

“Speaking about Gaius? Stay clear from his chambers. I doubt he’ll be as magnanimous as I am. He’ll do that thing with his eyebrow and have you pick herbs and brewing healing potions and concocting ointments before you even got a chance to tell him about our predicament - he’s really dedicated in my education as a physician, you know…”

“And I believe you rather enjoy it.”

“I do, indeed. I mean… It’s fascinating - do you know that the same stuff can cure you or kill you sometimes, depending on the dosis? Anyway, who wouldn’t want to know how to save lives?” Merlin can’t help but twitch. “I’m not sure I’m any good at it though…”

/

There is a flash of guilt in Merlin’s disheartened eyes, and Arthur realizes two things:

1) Merlin feels responsible for having been unable to save his friend Will. Which is understandable, because Merlin must have gathered by now some knowledge from Gaius’s lessons; but heartbreaking - because Arthur has seen enough arrow’s wounds to know that Will’s could never have healed - and perplexing - because Will has died to save *him*, not Merlin; so why would Merlin think the guilt was his to start with? and how come Arthur has never felt like Merlin might blame him for it either?

2) Merlin’s face is always *transparent* - a fact Arthur truly appreciates on Merlin’s face - but a fact that could turn out problematic, now that it’s on his own face…

“Let’s get back to my chambers. There is still something you should master better before the pleas.”

/

And that’s how Merlin finds himself positioned by Arthur in front of a mirror.

“What do you see, Merlin?” Arthur asks.

“Well, you?” Merlin feels he’s missing Arthur’s point, but he has no clue…

“Do you? Because I see my body, I see my clothes; but I do not see the Prince of Camelot - I’d like to think I play it better than that - and I must be, because my Father would not allow *this* I assure you - at least I hope or the kingdom is doomed.” Arthur ends on a sigh, shakes his head, and then turns commanding eyes back towards Merlin via the mirror. “Close your eyes, Merlin. Think of me. I mean, *picture* me; and more especially, picture me at any official activity you’ve served me through. See how I walk, how I stand, how I sit, how I move, how I look?”

Merlin does as asked, searching through his memories. After a while, he nods.

“Got it?”

“I think?”

“Then open your eyes, Merlin. What do you see?”

Merlin understands now. He can’t help but sigh helplessly. “Not the Prince of Camelot. Obviously. I’m sorry, Sire, I guess I’m just not… majestic enough to play you.”

“It’s not that hard, Merlin. Come on; I’ll explain. Ready?” Arthur grins at him via the mirror, exuding confidence - trust in him?; and Merlin would face (has faced) monsters to earn it indeed.

Merlin nods, their eyes still linked via the mirror.

“First thing first? You’re slouching.”

“Yes. (Merlin tries not to slouch; but is still not satisfied with the result) I think though the biggest problem is- There’s something wrong with your face.”

“Because you wear your heart on it, Merlin; and you mustn’t. Believe me, you do not want to be lectured for hours about this by my Father…”

Arthur moves away, and Merlin can’t see him anymore in the mirror. His voice is directing though, and Merlin focuses on the words to school his face.

“You’re a prince, so you *must* always look like one. No matter what you do, you must always, *always*, look confident. That’s the first strength of a kingdom - the strenghth of its ruler. That’s what keeps your people safe. So. Chin up, Merlin. Square your shoulders. Stand tall - stand *proud*.”

Merlin realizes the words are not Arthur’s; they’re Uther’s. He wonders how often indeed Arthur has heared those words - most probably often enough to give himself a internal pep talk before any official anything apparently…

“That’s better; but still not good enough. No matter how you feel inside must not show, Merlin. When you’re tired, hide it. When you’re sick, hide it. When you hurt, hide it. When you’re stressed, hide it. When you worry, hide it. When you doubt, hide it. When you’re bored, and even more when you disagree; hide it - it’s disrespectful; and we do not want wounded pride to fester, don’t we Merlin? When you’re afraid, definitely hide it. When you’re sad, hide it. And the trickiest part maybe: when you’re happy, hide it too - or risk whatever is making you happy to be taken away: weakening you is weakening the kingdom; and its enemies will never hesitate to bring you down, if you let them see even an inch of an opportunity.”

Merlin is shaken. He feels guilty, somehow. This is, certainly, too intimate. Merlin feels like he’s intruding. This feels even more trespassing than being in Arthur’s body. It’s like being forced in Arthur’s head, without his consent. It’s nauseating.

“Again, Merlin. Your eyes; focus. It’s a part; but it’s part of your job. So for the love of Camelot, Merlin, please try harder. Your people reckon on you to lead them and protect them; so it’s your duty to be a leader, and to be strong. Work hard; harder than anyone else. You *must* be an example, an inspiration. You must be admirable in everything, so that your people will follow you everywhere. But you must lead, Merlin; never follow. A ruler is alone - *must* be alone. Do not trust anyone; at least do not trust anyone more than anyone else, and surely not more than you trust yourself. Your own judgement must *never* be clouded.”

Merlin can’t help but turn towards Arthur at the words, both in disbelief and in ache… Because Merlin has grown up hiding, but he had never realized that Arthur had, too; and maybe even more than him. Arthur must not only always pretend and perpetually watch over his shoulder; he must pretend and watch over his shoulder *alone*. And Merlin can only imagine how hard that must have been, and be. Back at Ealdor, Merlin had (and still has) his loving mother, and he had Will. Even here, now, Merlin has Gaius. And somehow, yes: he has Arthur too, Merlin suddenly realizes; and then feels ashamed, because he can’t help but feel blessed - Arthur trusts him. Because Arthur is definitely less guarded around him, isn’t he? When it’s just the two of them; Arthur and Merlin? Arthur laughs, Arthur doubts, Arthur *shows*; maybe not everything - but that’s probably not possible as he is so trained - but something at least always shines through; even if it’s by putting his feet on his face… But Merlin knows now, how rare and precious it truly is. They can never be friends, maybe; but Arthur trusts him. That’s undeniable; and that’s everything, somehow.

“Do not look at me; look at the mirror, Merlin. Harden your eyes. Smile; always politely, even when you don’t want to smile at all; more genuinely, when it’s true - but never let it go up to your eyes. First thing about tomorrow too; as we’re at it. Hear everyone out. Listen with your full attention to everyone; whether you agree or not. Never decides right away; except if it’s necessary, in war time. Your decisions must be thought upon; never a spur of the moment. If something is unclear, do not let it show during concil. If you favor a position, do not let it show during concil. If you disagree, do not let it show during concil. You need further advice, or even only further information? Seek the appropriate person in private; ask man to man. They will see the honor in it if it’s positive, and be thankful you kept it private if it’s negative. Also. You must be ready to be impartial, Merlin; because you do not need to be kind, but you must always be fair. You may - and you will, unfortunately - make mistakes; but never ackowledge them. Fix them. If you can’t; repair as much damage as possible. Learn from your errors, in order to never make the same mistake again. But never apologize. Come on Merlin; I’m sure you can do it. You’re nearly there.”

More over, Merlin realizes the Arthur he gets to see nowadays - the true Arthur - has always been there already, even under the pretense of the moron. Kilgarrah is wrong. His destiny isn’t to change Arthur; because there is nothing to change. Arthur already has everything to be a great king, the greatest king, all on his own.

And so, Merlin is *angry*. He has now yet another reason to despise Uther, it seems - scarring his child on the inside in such a way. Of course Arthur always feels inadequate; of course Arthur feels lacking; of course the only bond Arthur values is the one with his fellow knights - ride to glory or death, together? It’s the only bond Uther has authorized him to authorize himself to ever have… But Merlin’s anger is a good thing, apparently - because whenever Merlin thinks about Uther, Arthur finds that he’s playing the Prince’s part better.

“There Merlin, you have it. See? Right there. Lock it; just like that. That’s good enough for anyone looking today; because believe me, someone *will* be looking, even if only my Father and not the one who switched us or anyone else with ill intentions - there is *always* *someone* looking, Merlin.”

Fine. Think about Uther; until the pleas are done. Merlin can do it; and he’ll gladly do it. He’ll probably gladly do anything; for Arthur. He can still have a cry or hit a wall afterwards, right…

.

Arthur needs a hug. I volunteer. Anyone with me? (besides Merlin, obviously…)

.

VII. DOOMED (ARTHUR POV)

With a last commanding yet encouraging nod, Arthur leaves Merlin by the Great Hall’s entrance and starts to make his way towards the Library.

He is stopped by Merlin’s name being called out twice - because he has failed to react right away; Arthur chastises himself. It is the headmaster recruiting hands: his Father wants his bath ready when the pleas end.

Arthur doesn’t want to bring Merlin in trouble, of course; so he takes on the ordered job - after all, how complicated can it be?

He is paired with a newcomer answering the name of George who looks up to him as if he holds the sun: the Prince’s manservant! Which isn’t that bad. Until he starts, seemingly embarrassed but curious all the same, to ask questions like “Is the Prince as terrible as they say?” or “Is it true he throws knives?” and such? Arthur tries to explain that the training field is, well, to train? He isn’t sure the message gets across though, as George only holds his eyes with a perplexed gaze…

Arthur can’t help but hope that Merlin at least understands that he’s not only training himself but also trying to get Merlin to know how to defend himself if not to attack whenever he comes at him with a mace or anything… He should maybe make his intentions clearer, apparently…

Anyway. After yet another round of carrying buckets full of cold or warmed-up water up and down and left and right, Arthur realises there is more to it than it looks; and the bath is only half full still…

And when they’re nearly done? His three coworkers and the headmasteer seem satisfied, but Arthur can’t help but think while bringing up the last two buckets that they achieved nothing more than a luke warm bath with a clean but no particular scent. Merlin’s baths are definitely of a superior category on both accounts, and Arthur doesn’t know if he should feel guilty and spoiled for regularly enjoying better baths than the king himself, or more amazed or worried about Merlin’s bath-preparing skills (is he even thinking about his safety? he wouldn’t actually carry boiling water up the stairs, would he?)

Arthur decides he should address the issue. And maybe take baths downstairs from now on just in case - a little backroom near the kitchen would be more practical than his chambers, wouldn’t it? When the space isn’t needed for banquets preparations and such of course…

Arthur misses the first step towards the second floor (it’s actually the eleventh time today that he misses a step - he still isn’t used to Merlin’s feet). This time though, his balance is too lost for him to compensate and he falls backwards, landing on his butt and ready to get soaked and hit by the water and buckets he has released when instinctively freeing his hands (one to help catch his fall; one to protect himself from the falling projectiles). Except nothing comes: no water, no hit - and no falling sound either. And when Arthur takes a look? The buckets and water are… floating above his head?

Arthur gasps in surprise, his mind going both blank and reeling…

Then only does Arthur finally get drenched and hit on the shoulder.

Arthur blinks. Twice.

What has just happened isn’t normal, at all. Only - only magic could make such a thing possible!

Arthur looks around, instinctively - scanning for a threat.

He is alone; the corridors are empty as far as he can see, and he hears no voices, nor steps.

Which is good, because no one is attacking him then.

Which is the worst though - because if there is no one around… then the only person responsible for what he has just witnessed must be - is - HIMSELF?!

Arthur gasps again; this time in panick.

His first instinct is denial. But he knows what he saw. And somehow, it just makes sense, doesn’t it?

It’s not the body of the Prince that whoever switched him and Merlin is after. It’s his mind…

Put him in the body of a servant, give him magic, and sooner or later (and most probably sooner) he is bound to die by his Father’s law. What is he supposed to say in his defense? That he IS the Prince, in another body which had been given an ounce of magic on the sole purpose of getting him executed? Who would ever believe him…

In the meantime, the schieming sorcerer must have judged that a servant in his body may be too delighted by the upgrade in status to be a threat to his plans and would gladly unknowingly collaborate, on top of being totally untrained and incompetent at any of his duties.

Then? One only has to kill the King, either by making him ‘ill’ or using the same trick again and - for sure - Camelot is doomed to get wiped out from the map by the first band of Saxons passing by (and most probably enticed to pass by very soon after its King’s death): its only true heir gone, and the supposed one obviously improper to defend it. All of it without casualties on the attacking side, and without anyone knowing how it all came to be, which means no one, even loyal to Camelot, would have a reason to stand against the new regime put in place.

Arthur is more afraid than he has ever been - and he has been in combat enough for that fact to mean something. He feels crushed; defeated, even before the battle - and honestly? He has never despised himself that much. No matter that he has never felt both so unprepared and so intrinsically useless - and not even able to trust himself: surrender is simply inexcusable. Camelot depends on it.

Besides, Arthur owes it to Merlin to fight, right. It’s after all Merlin’s body that’s to die along his spirit. Oh! The villainy, the cowardice in this attack! Use an innocent victim as a vessel to be sacrificed. Sorcerers definitely have no sense of honor indeed.

So. Arthur is angry now. A much more suited mindset, he decides - as long as he doesn’t allow it to blind him. And he won’t. Merlin’s body depends on it too.

Arthur takes a deep breath. He has been taught strategy even before he could talk, right? Time to make a plan of action.

First. He is not as alone as Camelot’s enemy has calculated him to be. He is, in fact, not alone at all. He has Merlin.

Loyal Merlin; not only willing but even devoted to getting back into his own servant body rather than happily playing the prince. Magic familiar and open-minded Merlin - which means Arthur has not only someone who won’t judge him nor fear him to confide in about his new endangering (and in so many ways) abilities, but also someone who might have some basic understanding of it; since he was Will’s friend? Heart-in-the-right-place Merlin: too kind, maybe (but he can at least get aware of it enough in order not to be lead only by it); but naturally just and fair Merlin. Brave, fierce, tenacious Merlin; too reckless though (but again: he can at least get aware of it enough in order not to be lead only by it). Ressourceful Merlin, fast-learning Merlin: he would master his body’s strength, eventually; and Leon would be here to lead the Knights in the meantime… Arthur takes an oath. Even if they fail to find a solution to their problem, Camelot won’t be left unprotected. Come what may; even the worst? Merlin *will* be ready to take his place. Having Merlin’s unique edges smoothed out feels wrong; but it just has to be for show, right?

Second. Well, there is no really second yet; at least not more than what they have already planned. They need to find some books - and pray that they will be useful. And Arthur will just have to be particularly attentive about not repeating the kind of blunder he just did with witnesses present.

Yes. Merlin. Books. Start at the beginning; and with luck, it might just work out in the end.

Arthur cleans up as best as he can, using and wringing his soaked tunic in the buckets, then runs to Merlin’s room for a set of dried clothes. Turning up to retake his place at 'Arthur’’s side while drenched would only draw unwanted attention…

.

So. Basically? Yep. This is a magic-reveal unreveal fic. But. I mean… It’s Arthur? Also: this fic (to me) is canon (fitting) - so it just can’t be a reveal fic. Bonus: it explains too why Arthur doesn’t get the courage-magic-strength trio hint later on. He thinks Merlin is magic; but only because there is some residual trace to sense from when his body had magic (aka this fic), not that he actually has magic still at the time… Arthur can be at the same time very aware yet very unaware, and he can be so very biased and decided to see things his way, no matter how circumvoluted, right? (Also, of course Arthur thinks in fact then that HE is magic in the trio: he was after all the one inside Merlin when his body had magic; and Merlin IS courage - Arthur has such a low self-esteem to start with…)

On a side note: Arthur would actually trust Merlin with Camelot (even despite his limits). If that doesn’t tell you all there is to tell then I don’t know how to express it. *SIGH* *GROSS SOBBING* (Gwen though is  innately  made to be Queen - but Arthur doesn’t know that yet. He isn’t wrong about Merlin though - for Arthur’s memory? Merlin would do his best to be a great King too, you bet…) *GROSS SOBBING AGAIN*

.

VIII. MERLIN’S CHAINMAIL (ARTHUR POV)

“Merlin! My boy! You’re soaked! Did you provoke Arthur again and end up under the well for it this time?”

Great. Gaius sounds half amused half concerned. Does actually *everyone* think him to be a brute?

Well; nevermind. Merlin knows better, right - and that’s what matters. Merlin is never backing away, Merlin is never really complaining; Merlin just watches him with mirth in his challenging eyes: I dare you. Of course Arthur HAS TO then… It’s like… kind of a private wordless conversation only the two of them understand. But honestly? Arthur wouldn’t trespass Merlin’s limits - if anything, Arthur would probably even feel guilty, if Merlin actually ever made one known…

But then, Gaius is patting his shoulder, pushing him towards 'his’ room; and Arthur is stunned silent, as he can’t help but relish on the (for him unusual) affectionate paternalistic small gesture.

“Get changed. Get warmed up. You’ll tell me later. I haven’t heard the bell signaling the end of the pleas, it is already so late? I’ve just finished Sir Kay’s potion, and it should be drinken warm, as you know; so I’d better be on my way. We’ll prepare Uther’s draught and the balm for Little Kathleen’s knee when I’m back. Also, I’m afraid I’ve ruined my coat; if you could work your magic on it next time you’re mending Arthur’s clothes, I’d be very much obliged?”

And then Gaius is gone, and Arthur is still stunned, but now for another reason - it was but a polite turn of phrase, of course, and Arthur knows Merlin just isn’t capable of miracles, as proven by the state of some of his shirts - beyond mending; but Gaius would better not use some idioms that carelessly around the palace - who knows who might hear and takes things the wrong way… Arthur shakes his head as he hurries to change, feeling sorry for letting Gaius down, but not planning to stay around until Gaius comes back - he wouldn’t know anyway how to prepare his Father’s nor Kathleen’s medicine, right…

Arthur opens Merlin’s cupboard.

There are only two folded set of clothes (neckerchief included indeed), and Arthur just takes the one on top.

He’s about to close the door when his eyes fall on Merlin’s chainmail.

/

The first time Arthur had told Merlin that he had been assigned to lead some patrol, Merlin had right away asked:

“When do we leave?”

Arthur had been surprised, then had tilted his head, apprehending Merlin while explaining that coming along was to be Merlin’s choice; and not per se his duty as palace manservant. They usually asked for volunteers; there was extra coin to be earned and such.

Merlin had only repeated:

“Sire; when do we leave?”

Arthur had been surprised again, but definitely pleased:

“Tomorrow at first light.”

“I’d better start packing right away then. What do you need?”

After having listed their necessities, Arthur had mentioned that he would have a chainmail sent to Gaius’s for Merlin to wear. Merlin had countered that he had no wish for carrying extra weight around as it would only slow him down in his chores; and that he would rather wear his everyday clothes. Arthur had said it was folly to go unprotected - they would patrol the borders, and thiefs and saxons could fall on them - and Merlin had finally relented some and agreed to wear a chainmail he would self adapt as he wished above some clothing but under his tunic. Arthur had been suspicious when Merlin had turned up the next morning without even a cap showing out, and had actually moved his neckerchief aside to make sure Merlin was wearing metal under his tunic…

/

Without hesitation, Arthur takes the chainmail out too, deciding he should wear it under his clothes. After all, the longer Arthur might succeed in hiding his new abilities, the more chances there are that the one responsible for their troubles might choose to turn to more expeditive measures of his own. Killing a servant might go unnoticed for awhile, and would work just as well in case whoever had planned this got tired of waiting for Arthur to betray himself and get executed. Which means that Merlin’s body is just walking around as a mark waiting to get hit… and Arthur should do his best to protect it. Merlin’s chainmail is barely worth its name; but it does cover his chest, belly and back, at least.

Arthur makes it back to the Great Hall right on time for the end of the pleas. It was the moment they had planned to stage for Arthur’s injury; but Arthur discretly but authoritatively signals 'no’ with his head. It would be too risky; what if while falling he instinctively uses magic again - in front of the whole court? Merlin gives him a curious look but follows his cue anyway, thanksfully. There is still enough time to create an excuse before training; and they can still tell he fell even without witnesses anyway. It would have been a nice added touch at make-believe, but Gaius vouching for them should be enough on its own, right?

As they walk in silence back to Gaius’s quarters, Arthur feels Merlin’s eyes upon him, boring and questioning. So when they pass by his chambers, Arthur takes the opportunity for privacy. Once behind closed doors, Arthur leads them to the most private corner, as far from the door as possible. Then he takes a deep breath, and turns towards Merlin to explain… everything.

He hasn’t got the time to start though before Merlin hushes out, worry evident in his voice, pointing to Arthur’s side where a hint of metal is visible if you pay attention - and Merlin always pays attention, doesn’t he:

“Sire? Why are you wearing my chainmail?”

.

AN: It’s canon after all that Arthur doesn’t force Merlin to come along - he lets him leave before Camlann, right? But yes, this is just me giving some sense to the 'just let’s Merlin accompany us everywhere without any kind of protection’ unacceptable general policy. So. Merlin *has* some protection. We just don’t see it. Okay? And the few times he’s actually in armor on patrol, it’s because they need a decoy or something… Also, just so you know: Merlin of course thought that Arthur would probably think that he didn’t want to be seen in a chainmail because he didn’t want to look like a soldier in order not to seem a danger nor a target, but Merlin just couldn’t care: he HAD to be an unconspicuous nobody - it made it easier to protect Arthur with his magic if no one really paid attention to him. And to end with a cute note: whenever they ride out ? Arthur always checks that Merlin wears his chainmail - a fact Merlin can’t help but always secretly revel in…

.

IX. REVELATIONS (MERLIN POV)

Arthur looks anxious - which only makes Merlin worry more.

“I found out… why I was put into your body. I’m sorry, Merlin. I wear your chainmail because your body is in great danger; and it’s all because of me… again. ”

“Wha-”

Arthur cuts him with an imperative gesture from his hand, voice hushed - even though it echoes in Merlin’s ears like a shout:

“I have- I mean you have… Magic!”

Merlin’s breath catches; panick rising. Arthur knows! Arthur knows?

Arthur seems to read his struck expression though as simple denial.

“Yes, Merlin; you heard right! Magic! I saw water and wood floating above my head - floating, Merlin! - That’s the only way to explain it! But I have no idea how it gets triggered, I have no idea how to control any of it - I fell and it happened, I guess, instinctively? Now you understand why I couldn’t have us stage a fall… If people find out? *When* people find out? My Father will have me - YOU - beheaded!”

Merlin’s eyebrow furrow. He doesn’t understand. If Arthur knows he has magic? How come Arthur looks *contrite* instead of angry; afraid *for him* instead of afraid of him? Not that Merlin is complaining about the fact that Arthur obviously doesn’t wish to see him beheaded, of course; his evident worry is even heartwarming, in a way… but heartbreaking, too, as Merlin can’t help but feel that Arthur’s reaction must be induced by some reason that he doesn’t comprehend yet but that has little to do about him having magic at all…

Arthur then fully explains his theory about their attacker using his body to get to Camelot by erasing Arthur, then Uther, and marching against a Camelot lead by an unprepared servant playing Prince. Merlin is shocked, and shaken. Because indeed Arthur’s reaction isn’t about him having magic at all, but about Arthur feeling responsible for his body’s impending doom. But what hurts the most yet is the heavy guilt that settles upon Merlin’s chest - crushing, constricting, inescapable - as he realizes that in fact everything is his fault! Arthur’s thinking may be flawed on one account; but the rest of it makes sense, indeed. And so Merlin cannot deny that Arthur has been targeted and put into his own body because whoever did this actually knows that he has magic.

And so Merlin feels panick rising again, and even worse than before. It is already complicated enough for Merlin to hide his powers - and he has had practice at it since his birth. How could Arthur ever successfully hide them for long… And to think that *HE* might be the cause of Arthur’s death? It’s worse than anything; worse than everything. And it’s devastating. Merlin can’t hold Arthur’s gaze anymore.

Arthur probably thinks he is overwhelmed by the surprise of his body being a target though.

“And I’m sorry - again, Merlin - but I can’t go and hide at some random remote place until I’ve worked out how to subdue it at least, if not suppress it. There is no time. I can’t leave Camelot; not when it’s so endangered.”

Merlin feels like screaming: Arthur shouldn’t apologize; Arthur shouldn’t feel guilty - It’s all on him!

“It’s all right, Sire. I know you’re right: we have to stay here. After all, our best shot to end this mess is to find guidance in some books; and our best shot to find said books is staying here.” (Also, you bet Merlin isn’t willing to leave Camelot either because he is going to consult with Kilgarrah… Merlin had planned to go to the Great Dragon at the first occasion right when he had realized they had switched bodies; but he now can’t help but wish for the night to come even sooner.)

Arthur looks surprised by Merlin’s easy acceptance as he lets out: “I was going to point that out too?”

Arthur seems to hesitate an instant, taking a deep breath; but then, probably finally enticed by the fact that they still are on the same page apparently, he hushes out words that Merlin had never imagined he would ever hear, even in his wildest dreams.

“Now that’s settled… Do you have any idea that might help me keep it in check? I mean… Back in Ealdor? Did your friend Will maybe ever share something with you that we could use? Anything?”

Merlin’s mouth falls open; but nothing comes out of it. He realizes just how surreal it must have been for Arthur to utter those words. But Arthur looks decided, as always. He means it. And that’s when Merlin realizes Arthur is in fact ready to *learn*. Arthur still doesn’t trust magic, and definitely doesn’t trust his magic now that he has some; he only sees it as a treacherous condition. But he is willing to face it outright, instead of wishing or pretending it isn’t even there to start with. And Merlin realizes that this isn’t only proof of Arthur’s mighty heart; but that it also might actually be their saving too, with some luck?

And so Merlin just HAS to take a chance. Anyway, Arthur *needs* him; and how could Merlin ever let him down to start with… Besides, what if it made Arthur realize that magic isn’t only to be feared; that magic can be good, too, actually?

“Maybe you shouldn’t learn how to keep it check, but how to have it *work*?”

Arthur opens his mouth now, either in shock or to retort - or both; so Merlin hurries to push his point.

“Hear me out, please. Even when we do find an helpful book? The spell we’re under must be very powerful - I mean, have you ever heard or thought this could even be possible? - so we might still require magic too in order to perform whatever will be mentioned in the book? So yes, your new abilities are supposed to be our doom; but maybe we can turn them to our advantage? You have MAGIC, Arthur. If you can control it and use it - on your terms? Maybe that’s just what we need to solve our problem?”

Merlin waits. And Arthur isn’t taking the opportunity to repel his idea. Silence goes on; and still, Arthur isn’t refusing. If anything, he looks… thoughtful, even if doubtful. But there’s resolve, too; and maybe, even, a spark of hope? So Merlin just takes the final plunge.

“As you said… I might have… some basic notions about it? It’s worth a try, Arthur. What do you say?”

Merlin’s heart is pounding so hard it’s going to break his chest for sure, as they hold gazes for a long time - Merlin silently pleading for Arthur to just trust him. Then Arthur gives him a firm nod.

“I say this is probably folly but we have to try, indeed. So. You train me? And I train you.”

Merlin tilts his head, unsure about the second part.

“There are things I want to teach you, Merlin”, Arthur explains; pleads even. “In case we stay stuck in each others body no matter what we try; in case your body should- I know it’s a lot to ask, especially as I apparently keep making your life a hell just by existing? But will you please let me prepare you to take my place, if necessary?”

Merlin’s breath is knocked out of him. Arthur would trust *him* with *Camelot*? But Merlin cannot even contemplate it. Arthur cannot be gone; musn’t be gone; will not be gone. Merlin’s voice is fierce as it simply refutes the prospect.

“Sire, it won’t come to-”

Arthur lays a hand on his shoulder.

“It would mean a lot to me.”

And what can Merlin do then, but promise - and mean it:

“Anything, Arthur.”

The hand leaves his shoulder, but Arthur’s eyes stay fixed on him.

“Thank you, Merlin.”

And Merlin takes another oath - this one to himself. They’ll work it out. They’ll make it work. They will.

.

They both feel guilty for endangering the other more than they are worried about themselves *heavy sigh*

.

X. TRAINING (MERLIN POV)

Gaius is working on finishing Uther’s draught when ‘Arthur’ surprisingly comes in without knocking.

“Sire? Do you need-”

Merlin hasn’t prepared a speech on their way (how do you announce this anyway?) So he just blurts it out, as Arthur comes in after him and takes place at his side.

“We need your help, Gaius. Our bodies have been switched. (pointing to himself) Merlin. (pointing to his body) Arthur. We awoke like this this morning.”

Gaius looks stunned - of course. Then, for the shortest of times, he looks unconvinced; but this is after all Camelot, where strange things always happen, indeed - and not only Arthur would most probably have better things to do than playing along with Merlin’s pranks; but also Merlin wouldn’t have the heart to make *such* a prank to start with - not to him. So Gaius looks concerned now, gaze jumping with worry between Merlin and Arthur, holding Merlin’s eyes with a question in his eyes - and Merlin knows what’s worrying him.

Merlin can only give Gaius though a fragile smile to assure him that he is all right along with an apologetic look in return. He isn’t sure Arthur would want anyone else knowing about the magic too, so he will have to wait for a private occasion to explain everything to Gaius. For now, he just sticks to the plan.

“Arthur is expected to train soon, and we thought you could give us a way out of it. No one should be aware that Arthur isn’t Arthur until we’ve fixed this.”

Gaius doesn’t even hesitate.

“Of course (nodding to Merlin). I’ll go and tell you injured your sword arm (nodding to Arthur).”

/

Gaius goes out, mentioning coming back later to make Little Kathleen’s balm. Once the door closes, Arthur says he wonders what Merlin has in mind for 'training’. So Merlin decides he should help them both at once.

Merlin looks around for something basic, and his eyes light up when they fall on two bowls - not only basic but also potentially useful, if it works? He sets them on the table in front of Arthur: one stays empty, the other one get filled with water.

“Here. Try to make the water move into the other bowl.”

Arthur looks at the bowls, then at Merlin; incredulous.

“I’m not sure- I mean, even if I make this work, how am I supposed to put ourselves back into our bodies that way? How can I perform whatever must be performed if I am out of the performing body?”

“This is just a beginning, Sire. This is just a way to have you… feel your magic? Find it, and use it as you wish, when you wish. But if you need a valid reason, I promise this will be useful too, when you’ve mastered it.”

Arthur seems perplexed. Merlin confides, voice low as if sharing a secret: “We won’t have to disturb the fish anymore?”

Arthur is apparently too stressed out to even smile, sadly. But he gives Merlin a satisfied nod. “I’d better start trying then, huh.” A helpless sigh follows though. “Any hint about how to feel it to start with? Where to find it?”

Merlin hesitates. Not only because he wonders how much he can tell without Arthur realizing he knows too much, but also because he struggles about how to put into words what he has always simply felt. He has never had to search for it; it had always just been there. But maybe he can describe it by telling what he doesn’t feel, since he’s in Arthur’s body?

“Don’t search for 'where’. It’s not in one place; it’s everywhere. Not only in your body; literally everywhere - earth, air, water, fire. Like a… warm… tingling… flow? When you’ve found it, try to concentrate on it, focus on it, in order to direct it towards what you want - with your hands, your eyes, your voice; whatever works?”

Arthur’s brow has only deepened from the explanation, and Merlin can’t help but sigh:

“I’m sorry. It’s gibberish. I don’t know how to explain-”

“What you can’t know”, Arthur cuts him with a wave of his hand. “Of course. I have to find it on my own. Thank you for trying, at least?”

And so Arthur goes to sit at the table, facing the two bowls, while Merlin starts on the balm for Little Kathleen’s knee (hopefully for the last time, as her recovery seems to be going well, thanksfully) - both to feel useful and to give Arthur some kind of privacy. His moving around though must be disturbing, because Arthur switches place, turning his back to him. But it gives Merlin the freedom to check over his shoulders from time to time without risking to meet Arthur’s eyes.

/

This isn’t working though, Merlin can tell, by the time he’s done preparing Little Kathleen’s balm (he waits for Gaius to check if he got all doses and ingredients right though before finishing; he has only done it once) and a sleeping draught (for the guards guarding Kilgharra’s tunnel) (Gaius has had him prepare Morgana’s draught several times already, and has explained how to up the doses while keeping it safe): Arthur looks nothing but tensed, when he would need to be relaxed in order to feel… Trying too hard is nothing but counterproductive.

That’s when Merlin realizes he’s been going at it the wrong way. Arthur is not him. Arthur is *Arthur*. And when Arthur is at an impasse and needs a clear head? He trains. Activity helps him focus. Exhaustion helps him forget. To find his inner ground, Arthur must be physically busy; not sitting hunched over a table looking at two bowls.

Merlin eyes again his surroundings: spoons should work. Gaius has them in lots of size, both wood and metal. Merlin bundles them all in his tunic, and calls for Arthur as he passes in front of him.

“Let’s try something else. You can work on the water later on.”

Arthur’s eyes follow him questioningly up the stairs. Merlin sets his collection down, then holds a spoon up.

“Try to stop it from falling to the ground.”

Merlin let the spoon fall. It hits the ground, of course; but Arthur surely looks now interested by the new challenge. Merlin smiles, and lets another spoon fall.

After five rounds, Arthur gets up and gathers the spoons before handing them over to a crouching Merlin, instead of having Merlin going down, and up, and down, and up… A few rounds later still, Arthur picks up a spoon he has missed on his way and calls out for Merlin to catch it instead of walking back. Merlin misses it though, and it lands on his arm. And that’s when Merlin thinks his new idea can even be perfectioned.

He takes the offending spoon off the ground and holds it at the ready, eyeing Arthur, waiting for him to understand. And Arthur does, of course.

“Merlin? Are you threatening me with a spoon?”

Merlin grins wolfishly. He throws, and Arthur easily dodges, laughing.

“How long have you been waiting for such an opportunity?”

“Forever?” Merlin lies, before throwing another spoon, which Arthur blocks with an upraised arm.

Merlin can’t help but scowl: “You’re supposed to make the spoon divert its course; not block it or move out of its way.”

Arthur has actually the decency to look apologetic: “I know. Sorry. Reflexes.” Then he smirks. “But please, indulge yourself and do go on.”

And Merlin does. And it’s glorious somehow, how they are suddenly both intent and carefree, spoons clattering everywhere on both sides as Arthur now throws the spoons back to Merlin too. Hits land on both sides too, as they both throw quicker and harder.

/

At some point, the door opens and a spoon hits… Gaius.

“Sorry”, Merlin lets out, hurrying down to check he hasn’t hurt Gaius.

Gaius looks at the both of them with incomprehension, but Arthur explains even before Merlin has even opened his mouth.

“We’re actually working on something, Gaius; not destroying your chambers. (the slightest hesitation - but if Gaius is to be their ally then Arthur has decided he should know, well, everything, it seems) I have been jinxed too, on top of the body swap. It appears I have been given… magic; to be my doom - and well… Merlin’s body end.”

Gaius looks sort of disapprovingly to Merlin at the M word, but his gaze softens somehow, even though it turns outright anxious, as Arthur further explains his theory about their attacker’s plan.

“So, now you know it all, Gaius. And we also need your help for something more than giving me an excuse not to train… We need… information. I thought… You and Geoffrey go way back, right? Maybe you could persuade him to lend you a few special books?”

Gaius nods, eyeing Merlin.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Arthur nods back.

“In the meanwhile, I have to understand how it works, in order to prevent anyone finding it out until we’ve found a way to lift the spells?”

“Of course. Just let me take what’s necessary and I’ll leave you to it.”

Merlin then shows Gaius his previous work (safely tucked away in his room after the first round of spoons throwing - and yes, it also gives Merlin the opportunity to silently let Gaius know where his book is hidden, so that he will be able to retrieve it later on and present it to them as coming from Geoffrey or something). Gaius proudly tells he got everything right and gathers it all into a bowl.

“I can finish the balm in the kitchens. I’ll be back to bandage your arm though later on, Merlin; our Prince is supposed to be injured, and our King will want to check on his son right when he comes back from today’s hunt and hears about it.”

/

They start again where they had left, but nothing magical ever happens still, and after some time, Arthur exclaims in annoyance: “Maybe you should use knifes?”

And Merlin understands the logic; but Merlin just… can’t. He counters with an idea of his own.

“Maybe I should tie you up on a chair so that you can’t dodge them anymore?”

And Arthur gives a shrug… then goes to sit.

Merlin finds some rope and tie Arthur’s legs and chest to the chair. He hesitates, then tie only Arthur’s left hand behind the chair.

“In case it helps if you aim”, he explains.

Then Merlin is facing Arthur again. The spoons hit; one at a time. But Arthur glares at them - never at Merlin; and so Merlin goes on.

And then… (they’ve been going at it for so long that Merlin has stopped counting rounds) a spoon finally *stops*, mid-air, before simply falling vertically to the ground instead of keeping its course.

Merlin’s mouth falls open as Arthur keeps looking at his hand in wonder.

“Did you see-”

“Yes!” Merlin can’t help but shout happily.

Arthur meets his eyes, looking even more resolute than before.

“Again.”

Arthur doesn’t stop lots of spoons (yet, hopefully); but he regularly stops or redirects one.

And then, Arthur looks at his hand, and then at him, both in wonder.

“It *is* warm!”

And that’s definitely progress in the right direction, if Arthur has *felt* it.

The look they share is actually hopeful, for the first time since this began.

/

After some time, Merlin decides they should take a pause. Arthur still has to prepare him for tomorrow concil too, right?

So Merlin starts asking about what he should know for the coming concil right while untying Arthur’s legs.

“Will was definitely lucky to count you as a friend.”

Merlin’s eyes jump to Arthur’s in surprise; not only from the compliment, but also from the repeat mention of Will. Before today, Arthur had never mentioned Will, since they had left Ealdor.

Arthur doesn’t notice. Or - more probably - Arthur notices but goes on anyway; he is nothing but brave after all.

“I never had a friend, but I believe friends are supposed to help each other out, right? And well, you’re good at helping out, is all. And I know I have little to no right to talk about him; but I think you should know that I’m grateful, and that he has my respect, Merlin.”

Merlin is utterly speechless. Arthur has finally found, it seems, a way to shut him up. And to get him teary-eyed to boot. Merlin lowers his eyes to the ground.

“I believe he was a kind man. I mean- He must have been, of course - I don’t see you befriending someone cruel or-… But even taking only my own judgment into account?  I suppose he could have probably done more harm than a whirlwind. But he didn’t. He wanted to defend, more than to attack; there is nothing malicious in that. It’s unfair his kindness caused his end though. Sometimes, maybe, it’s necessary to be the first to strike; even if you can never know how actually well-founded that decision then is; and you have to live with it.”

Merlin feels guilty, again. And angry. Does Arthur have to remind him that Will’s death is his fault? For all his magic? Merlin is indeed nothing but *useless*, indeed. He works on finishing to untie Arthur as quickly as he can.

Arthur must have read the inwards directed angry shake of his head for something else though, as he lets out a somewhat apologizing sigh.

“I realize I’m very biased, Merlin; because if he had used his powers in a harmful way? I would probably have been the first to accuse him of being a monster. (pause) But he hasn’t. And I haven’t searched for any magical powers - yet here I am.”

Another sigh; nothing but helpless this time. So Merlin *has* to look up. He has failed Will. He won’t fail again. He won’t fail Arthur. Arthur’s gaze is lost inward though.

“Sire”, Merlin pleads, hunting Arthur’s eyes then locking onto them.

Arthur fidgets; Merlin can’t help but note the oddity and rarity.

“I just- I realize this is the strangest thought to have while we are yet again under a sorcerer’s threat, but… Maybe not everything is always as black or white as I’ve been told all my life? Maybe not everyone with magic is actually evil? … Will? Me? … Again, maybe I’m only very biased. Because who knows then how many might have been wrongly punished- (a heavy sigh; wondering and remorseful this time, as Arthur shakes his head, apparently thinking about his Father’s deeds as his own - as he has allowed them to come to pass without opposition for so long…) But I *have* to believe that it’s possible to have magic without being corrupted by it. I mean… What if it sticks? Even after…”

“Arthur”, Merlin starts again as Arthur’s voice falters - even though Merlin still has no exact idea about what he wants to say; at least not in what order. Arthur’s genuine regrets and palpable fear are boring a hole right through his heart; just as Arthur’s words about Will and about magic (it is a step in the right direction; no matter how small) spread warmth through it too. Merlin’s possible soothing or grateful words in return all feel just tangled and messy and worthless and not enough and-

Arthur clears his throat, then softly exhales as he finally looks away: “I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, Merlin. Except… I’m glad you’re here?”

Maybe Merlin has conveyed what he couldn’t put into words through his eyes after all…

/

And then Arthur stands up, and his voice is back to his usual, assured tone.

“Now. One problem at a time, right? About the concil tomorrow…”

And Merlin listens, you bet.

.

So yep, yet another 'I’m glad you’re here’ (MY HEART). And spoons just had to be involved, indeed (I’m weak, blame 5.03)

.

XI. DESTINIES ARE TROUBLESOME THINGS (MERLIN POV)

Merlin can’t help but be on his guard. He has no idea, he realizes as he enters Kilgarrah’s cave after having successfully put to sleep the guards in front of it (after a shortened dinner with Uther and Morgana), about how the Great Dragon will react to a stranger’s presence in his lair.

But Merlin needs some guidance; and so, he calls out to him…

/

“Young warlock, what has happened to you?”

“You know it’s me?”

“Of course. Even though I am surprised indeed by your current appearance.”

“Arthur and I- Our bodies have been switched.”

The Great Dragon straightens up.

“So this is Uther’s heir’s body?”

“Yes. And I need - we need - help. Do you have any idea about how to reverse such a spell?”

“I do not have such knowledge. I can only tell you what you already know; that there is some very powerful magic at work here. (pause, tilting his head) But maybe you are not supposed to reverse it to start with.”

“Excuse me?”

“You are now *literally* two sides of a coin - both at once in the same body. Maybe this was the intent of the prophecy all along.”

(helpless, shocked sigh) “No.”

Merlin cannot believe his ears. But the idea is not only incongruous; it’s also outright enraging, and simply *impossible*.

“No”, Merlin repeats, firmly this time; a denial.

“You would throw away the opportunity to fulfill your destiny? You would carelessly discard the chance to bring forth the greatest time for Albion?”

Merlin doesn’t even flinch under the Dragon’s ire. *Arthur* is his destiny; and only Arthur. Albion’s welfare is in Arthur’s hands. And Arthur *will* be its greatest King; not Merlin. The notion only makes him sick. It’s not even about a possible guilt at cheating Arthur’s crown (which he doesn’t want to start with). It’s simply that Merlin wants - needs, and will not (and never) accept anything less - Arthur to be Arthur, intrinsically. Besides, Merlin knows the burden of pretending already; and he wouldn’t wish for anyone, and certainly not for Arthur, to have to shoulder it too. How can Kilgarrah not realise any of it?

“This just cannot be the way. It only feels wrong.”

“You should at least think about it, Merlin.”

“It is all decided. I cannot and will not abide to the belief that this masquerade could ever be our true fate. And if you don’t - can’t or won’t - help, we’ll look for a solution on our own - no matter how long it might take.”

They hold each other’s gaze; and Merlin won’t relent.

“I can only hope you will not come to regret your choice, young warlock”, Kilgarrah finally says as he flies away.

/

Merlin is still fuming as he enters Arthur’s chambers.

His fingers itch, longing to search through his spells book. He hasn’t had yet the opportunity - between being a Prince taking most of his day, and Arthur being at his side when he had been off duty. Unfortunately, it will have to wait until tomorrow - it would look suspicious if he went out in the night.

So. He should rest. After all, a clear mind will be necessary in the morning, both for council and for finding a way to break the spell they’re under, right?

Only looking at the bed though makes Merlin’s entrails twitch in disgust. This is wrong indeed; and will never feel otherwise. And no matter how comfortable that bed is, Merlin now knows (he might grow understanding of Arthur’s lack of will to leave it on some mornings from now on, huh), you bet he will never even contemplate sleeping in it.

Merlin makes his bed for the night on the floor, wondering if Arthur has been able to fall asleep yet.

.

Bear with me. The Dragonlord bond is an intrinsic link between souls, which is why it isn’t affected by the body swap. Whereas magic inhabits everything it’s in, and is therefore by nature anchored in physicallity. It explains too somehow why magic in general can be learned/found, but that the Dragonlord bond can only be inherited. Oh well, it makes sense in my head, at least…

Also :( I’ve really hurt myself with Kilgarrah’s last line :( Because of course Merlin *will* wonder about this, *for centuries*, later on (my heart:(). Anyone willing to hold me while I cry, pretty please?

.

XII. SOMETIMES, YOU PUZZLE ME (ARTHUR POV)

“Sire, you should rest.”

“Just a little bit longer, Gaius. Until the candles are out.”

“As you wish.”

A respectful bow; then Gaius is on his way to Merlin’s room, giving Arthur space and quiet - and only when the door closes does Arthur realize that he just kicked an old man out of his own bed?

Well, let it be worth it then, right! Arthur closes his eyes, breathing deeply, trying to connect with the magic inside. He actually feels it, now that he knows what to search for. He has no idea still though about how to have it work, apparently…

He can’t help but wonder briefly if Merlin has been able to fall asleep yet, before concentrating again on that damn water…

/

Arthur awakes, wincing, still at the table. Gaius has left bread and jam out for him, and he hastily eats before running out to help Merlin prepare (both physically and mentally) for concil. It is still earlier than he thought it was it seems, luckily. The kitcheners have just begun their work; Gaius does prefer to pick herbs in the early morning indeed. Arthur takes some bread and jam for Merlin, as little else is ready yet, and makes for his chambers.

When he gets in, Merlin is putting his clothes on. He is nearly finished; only the tunic and the coat are still laid out on the already made bed. Arthur approaches to help him with fastening the ties, and so notices the spread-out covers and pillows on the floor behind the bed.

“Merlin? Did you actually sleep on the floor?”

“Well, that bed of yours is way too soft”, Merlin retorts (even though Arthur DID see him getting out of said bed just the morning before: it hadn’t been too soft apparently, when Merlin hadn’t known it was Arthur’s, huh…), trying to cover his embarassment before walking out, heading for the stream. And Arthur has no choice but to follow, shaking his head while wondering if there would ever come a day when Merlin would stop astonish him…

/

After having left Merlin at the concil’s door, Arthur gets back to his bowls and water.

He has no progress to show though still when Merlin comes in and gives him a very detailed summary of what has been discussed. Arthur is thankful - even though he hasn’t doubted Merlin’s capacities (Merlin acting like an idiot or being clueless about etiquette doesn’t mean Merlin isn’t clever, indeed).

Then Merlin takes up the spoons, and helps Arthur train more actively about his magic again. They are both pleased to discover that Arthur is now able to divert about a third of the projectiles.

“Why am I getting better with the spoons and not making any progress with the water?”, Arthur wonders aloud.

“I am certain you will figure it out, Sire”, Merlin only has time to pledge as Gaius walks in, holding out a book and placing it on the table - which definitely ends the spoons training as Arthur and Merlin come to gather around it.

Gaius and Merlin seem to be waiting for his cue, so Arthur is the one to open the book, feeling both hopeful (this book might contains the answer to their predicament!) and worried (what if this book is simply full of evil?).

Arthur starts to read silently, both cautious about eventual passers-by overhearing and unwilling to invoke any probable further disaster on themselves by reading what could be spells aloud, a finger tracing along the opening line.

“Magic is potential, and possibilities. Its use is a choice, and a responsability”, Merlin whispers, echoing what Arthur is reading.

Arthur is stunned, and can’t help but blurt out in disbelief, turning his attention on Merlin:

“You know how to read?”

Merlin only shrugs.

“Sure I do. My mother taught me, along with the other kids from Ealdor. You know, the fact that it surprises you that a peasant can read probably says more about Camelot’s rampant illiteracy than about me?”

And Arthur can only admit it’s true:

“You’re right. We should probably ask Geoffrey to organize something about it.”

Then Arthur points at the book:

“But of course you may read along; it concerns you too. It might be safer though not to read aloud, you know…” (gesturing around, waving a hand)

“I can do that too”, Merlin assures.

So Arthur sits down on the bench, motioning for Merlin to do the same next to him. Gaius sits on the opposite bench - ready to give advice or help if needed; or ensuring they do not damage the book before it gets returned to the vaults?

They read further in silence, two pairs of eyes following the path of Arthur’s finger.

Arthur quickly realizes though that the first part of the book focuses on magical creatures, and skips through it - it might be handy, but it’s not what they need at the moment (he can’t refrain from briefly pausing though passing by the unicorns page)…

Then they reach the spells section, and Arthur turns tense.

And rightly.

When he understands what the first spell is about, he can’t help but shout out, pushing the book away:

“This is what Valiant did! How can we trust this book of tricks?” - this is nothing but evil indeed.

.

Of course Merlin just HAD to read that opening line aloud while in Arthur’s presence, huh…

.

XIII. PROGRESS (ALTERNATE MERLIN/ARTHUR POV)

“This is what Valiant did! How can we trust this book of tricks?”

There is fire in Arthur’s eyes - an anger at Valiant’s deeds that Merlin doesn’t wish to see grow blinding. Gaius gives Merlin a look, and Merlin understands that Gaius wants to be the one explaining - to protect him, surely. Merlin signals ‘no’; but Gaius is speaking anyway before Merlin has even opened his mouth.

“Sire, Valiant’s actions were definitely condemnable indeed; but the book is not to blame. It simply explains how to animate figures - it doesn’t tell *why* the spell should be used; that intent is entirely the responsability of the one using the spell. So yes, Valiant used such a spell to kill; but such a spell can be used to save or help too; can be useful and good.”

Arthur doesn’t seem convinced at all, judging by the growling tone in his voice:

“How could such a spell ever be used for good?”

Let’s say you need to animate snakes out of a shield at your will to confound an evil man and save a noble one; Merlin thinks but does not say, pleading Gaius to let him deal further with Arthur’s ire. Merlin has often pondered of course, even if with little success, about the best way to explain it all to Arthur. But he realizes, suddenly, that using Arthur’s own words and opinions might be the most helpful in that regard.

“Remember what you told me, Sire; about Will? So. Having magic is *not* having a weapon. It’s simply having *a tool*. You can use an axe to build a shelter or to break down a door - and even then, you might only be breaking that door to save blocked-in people from fire. You can use a shovel to plant an apple tree or to dig a grave - and even then, it might be out of respect and love, in another culture. The axe or the shovel have nothing to say about why they are used for. In the end, maybe, the only thing magic actually reveals is what’s truly in one’s heart.”

This approach works better, apparently. Palpable facts he experienced himself weigh more than rethorical theories in Arthur’s thoughts process. Arthur tilts his head, actually considering now, instead of refusing it all at once.

“So. This spell? Let’s say you badly injure yourself while alone and away, and you conjure a horse to carry you back home quickly enough to be saved? Let’s say a child is crying and you create a butterfly or something, to bring up a smile?”

“A butterfly, Merlin?”

Arthur looks incredulous but sounds, if anything, teasing - which Merlin interprets as a sign of progress, a smile growing on his face. He only shrugs though, playing along.

“What’s wrong with a butterfly?”

“Nothing, I guess, indeed. Let’s go on then.”

They read further for about an hour, Gaius preparing potions behind them. Arthur never shouts out again, but expectantly looks at Merlin on the few occasions he apparently feels like he might maybe be missing the whole picture. And Merlin just goes with it; the surprised yet somehow satisfied glow in Arthur’s eyes each time in some way worth the risk of possibly divulging too much…

Until dinner time comes, and Merlin has to go. He takes his leave, telling Arthur he should read on. Arthur’s answer leaves him breathless.

“I’d probably see things only one way on my own; who knows what I’ll miss… I’d rather bring the book to my chambers while you eat, and you can read further later. Besides, I should work on my water, you know… Be ready for it, in case you find something.”

Merlin can only nod, speechless from Arthur’s obvious trust.

As he opens the door, Arthur surprises him yet again, talking to his back: “And just so you know, I wouldn’t put you in the stocks for sleeping in my bed while you’re, well, me. What would the guards think if they saw me sleeping on the ground? ”

The tone is more gentle than gloating, and Merlin feels warmed up as he realizes Arthur is being simply honest. It doesn’t change his view on the matter though.

“I told you, Sire; I do not find your bed comfortable to start with.”

He doesn’t dare to look at Arthur as he walks out.

/

Gaius has proposed to bring the book to his chambers. He said he had to bring Morgana her sleeping draught anyway; but Arthur couldn’t help but sense that there was more to it - maybe he’d rather not have 'Merlin’ seen with such a book, maybe Geoffrey has made him sworn an oath to never let it out of his sight… Anyway, Arthur doesn’t have it in his heart to deny Gaius the demand.

Once alone, Arthur sits again in front of his two bowls. He closes his eyes, reaching *inside*.

It’s a tool. He tells himself when he senses the flow. Not a weapon.

There had been something in the way Merlin had talked. It had sometimes felt more like mentioning actual events than thinking aloud (Had Will ever performed any of the spells they read about?); especially - even though surprisingly - about…

It’s harmless. Merlin says it can be used to make butterflies.

Arthur takes a deep breath; focuses - visualizing in his head what he wishes to achieve.

When Arthur opens his eyes, the water has switched bowl.

Arthur blinks.

Then a loud “Yes” echoes in the room.

.

Arthur makes several times the water switch from bowl; then the books on the shelves from order (size, alphabetical, themes (as it was originally)) - he doesn’t dare mess with Gaius’s ingredients though, of course. At some point, he eyes the chamberpot and tests it too, like Merlin had mentioned they could once Arthur would have gotten how to. And indeed, it works too! Arthur can’t help but feel proud, trying to imagine the look on Merlin’s face come morning…

Then Arthur realizes maybe they do not have to be under the spell to start with any longer! What if he can just wish it away? Sadly, though, it doesn’t work; no matter how much nor how hard Arthur tries. Feeling a bit defeated now, even though he knows he definitely booked progress, Arthur decides he should go to sleep. With any luck, he might need all his energy tomorrow, if tonight turns out to be as fortunate for Merlin as it has been to him…

Gaius hasn’t come back yet - he probably stayed with Merlin to study the book; after all, as Court Physician, no one would question how long he stayed by his injured Prince… Arthur opens the door to Merlin’s bedroom - he doesn’t intend to keep Gaius out of his own bed tonight too…

/

As soon as possible, Merlin excuses himself from Uther’s and Morgana’s company to get to his book.

Since Gaius has given it to him, he hasn’t really had time to study it - mostly, he’s called forth through his magic the necessary spell or information when he needed any. He hopes though that the book will help them again, as it has in the past, and that he will find something useful in the over two thirds of the spells section he hasn’t read yet…

It’s late into the night when Merlin’s heart skip a beat. A spell-breaking spell? This might work, right! After all, one doesn’t have to reverse a spell to have it undone! Merlin rereads the pages again, and wishes the morning to hurry in order to show his finding to Arthur and Gaius.

.

Arthur saw magic as a weapon, of course. Which was sort of getting in the way of having his magic work for more than blocking the spoons attacks, because he felt still somehow that he *shouldn’t* use it, no matter the need to use it to fix their problem. But now that Merlin has had him understand, at least for a while, that it isn’t by definition a weapon, Arthur somehow feels like it is all right to use it. Which is why it works this time? It makes sense in my head, at least?

And imo Merlin wound’t link magic to a weapon both because he wants to unmake that precise link existing already in Arthur’s mind; but mostly because, well, he doesn’t see it that way - HE USES IT TO MAKE BUTTERFLIES, RIGHT (and I love him for it, HUGE sigh…)

.

XIV. THE SPELL (ARTHUR POV)

Arthur reads the pages Merlin just put under his nose with the utmost attention. A spell to break any spell? That sounds promising indeed!

Arthur can’t help but worry though, as he realizes that the primary condition for the spell to work is that the enchanted person(s) has to be truly, entirely, honestly willing to see the spell lifted for it to work (AN: which explains why Merlin cannot use that spell later on whenever Arthur is bewitched by the way…). And it is not about Merlin (positively-glowing-from-hope-right-now Merlin, sleeping-on-the-floor Merlin) Arthur has doubts about; it is about himself.

The truth, Arthur realizes with a shock, is that he likes it now, somehow - having magic!? Since Merlin told he saw it as a tool - not a weapon; and since Arthur has been proven that he could master his new abilities? Arthur has started considering apparently, at the back of his head, how it could turn out handy, how it could turn out good, for his people? What if he could multiply crops on bad years, ensuring no one would starve that winter? What if he could protect the borders, ensuring no one with ill intent could pass? *What if he could*- And that? That is the most dangerous, treacherous thought Arthur could ever have. Not only because it would be ill advised to rely on something that might disappear just as quickly as it has appeared to start with, but because the fact that he feels *tempted* to use it at all might be a signal of its luring, corrupting qualities. Who knows what he might get tempted to use it for, in time? Will there even come a limit? And that is what frightens Arthur the most - to succumb to its call. It would start with a genuine heart, but who could know how so much power might ever alter his first intentions?

So. No; indeed. He mustn’t entertain those thoughts. He should use magic to fix their current situation, and he will, simply because it is the only way to fix it to start it; but it would be for the best if it just disappeared along with it the moment their problem is solved. Besides, he owes it to Merlin, right. Because what if the magic stayed in Merlin’s body, instead of staying with his mind after they get back into their own bodies anyway? He would never wish to see such a risk, and a burden, on Merlin’s shoulders - particularly as he would know he would be responsible for it…

Arthur takes a deep breath, letting go of what could be, to focus on wishing for what must be.

/

The preparations are quite quick - Gaius already has everything they need in stock. It’s merely a mix of relaxing herbs, Merlin says as he aligns several pots of herbs in front of Arthur, that Arthur will have to crush into his hands. If anything, it smells nice, Arthur can’t help but notice with satisfaction. Somehow, the fact that it isn’t nauseous makes it feel not-evil.

The incantation is more tricky. It’s about six lines of text Arthur has to memorize and chant; and most of the words Arthur has never heard, so… Again, why can’t he simply wish for the spell to disappear - like with the water? Merlin explains that Arthur has to make the words his own while focusing on what he wishes - because it’s not only about working his own magic but also about lifting their attacker’s magic control on their bodies (even though it’s all a bit unclear whether the words of the spell are actually what makes it happens, or if they only help him achieve a certain level of inner focus that makes it happens - but Merlin might not know everything anyway, and whatever the reason, Arthur just HAS to master the incantation then anyway.)

It doesn’t seem to work, though. Hours later, and still nothing has changed; no matter how often Arthur has recited the spell nor the amount of herbs he has crushed into his hands. It’s not only frustrating and disheartening - it’s simply infuriating: Merlin and him were both so hopeful this might be it!

“It will work. *You* will make it work, Sire,” Merlin swears, voice steady, clear eyes unwavering, each time Arthur starts again.

Arthur closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries again. He owes it to Merlin’s faith in him to keep trying.

/

And then, suddenly, it’s done. Arthur has no idea what finally did it but he knows it’s done: he hears HIS voice chanting as Merlin gasps. And when Arthur opens his eyes, he sees Merlin, and not his own body. And the crazy thing? For a split second, it feels weird.

“This is real, right?” Arthur can’t help but ask, still in disbelief.

“I told you you’ll do it,” Merlin answers, beaming at him - proud of him, even.

They exchange a winning grin. Then Arthur howls.

/

The surge of victory and relief ends quickly though, replaced by crushing worry.

“Do you feel any different, Merlin?”, Arthur has to ask, as he doesn’t feel any warm tingling when searching inward. He is relieved to feel free from it; but not if the cost is that Merlin is tied to it now.

Merlin blanches, most probably from realizing the danger he could be in, and doesn’t answer right away - which is good, because it means that Merlin is actually doing an internal thorough check; but the silence is simply excruciating.

“Please tell me it’s gone,” Arthur can’t help but whisper, as if speaking the words could make it truth, even knowing he’s lost any ability to make it so.

[sol1056]

repetition creates weight

The EPs seem pretty adamant they had no idea of the Keith-Lotor parallels until after the seasons aired and someone else pointed it out. That’s huge sign of their inexperience as storytellers -- that, and the places where they do use repetition intentionally.

Repetition is a writer’s neon sign. What gets screen (or page) time is relevant; ergo, something that gets repeated screen or page time must be not only relevant but important. The more a story reminds the audience of some detail, the more the audience is going to think, “aha! that’s the eighth time the story’s mentioned the character’s blue eyes. It must be a clue. It must mean something.”

There are different ways to repeat. You can use the same phrase, stage a visual with the same composition, or highlight an object or theme or motif via constant reference (ie S1/S2 hand-on-something motif). You can create parallels so strong they become almost mirrors. There’s also using repetition in planting clues, adding the Important Message in the middle of seemingly irrelevant details, each list different but for that one element. 

And then, of course, there’s the kind of repetition noted in this ask: 

So I heard a theory that suggested season 8 may mirror seasons 3-6 since season 7 mirrored seasons 1-2. What are your thoughts on that?

Behind the cut. 

At the end of S2,  each character answers the question of ‘what do we do after this,’ which becomes four repetitions of the same theme. Obviously they’re not going home yet ‘cause we’ve got four more seasons to go.  

On some intuitive level, a lot of viewers perked up: aha, there must a reason for Keith to respond in that particular way. After all, Keith could’ve said, “I could train with the Blades,” see more of the universe, etc. (And remember, what comes last is what gets the emphasis; if Pidge had answered last, we probably would’ve assumed she’d find Matt or Sam in early S3.)

When S3 begins and we meet Lotor, Keith is immediately on that. His focus on Lotor, to the exclusion of all else was probably meant to be single-mindedness. Overdone, it became another neon sign. There must be something here, some other reason Keith is so obsessed.

There’s a repetition, too, in the wording: “I could look for my family” to “I have to find/catch this guy.” Unintentionally or not, that look-for/find/catch established another link. Even once Shiro/Kuron arrives, Keith doesn’t lose that focus, and it becomes the source of a few arguments between Keith and Shiro.

We’re now at the level of about sixteen neons signs, each one the size of a billboard. That much pushes everything to the level of implying something intensely personal. It practically screams, pay attention.  

Add in a few repetitions of the quintessence motif -- Lotor’s search for it, Keith’s sensitivity to it (and apparent shapeshifting abilities related to it) -- and the parallels were all right there. Had we started S5 with Keith discovering he’s Lotor’s long-lost brother, we might’ve considered that twist obvious in hindsight. (The only detail required for a snap reveal would be explaining the presence of the knife and/or a Blade being on Earth.)

What the EPs seem to like to do (and this makes sense, as storyboarders) is visually echoing previous compositions. Most often, echoing a previous composition is done not as strict repetition but as a motif. It’s only repetition in the loosest sense, because each use must modify or expand the tone of the original resonance.

Frex, the Black Paladins music. Say the first time had been a minor key with eerie strings, evoking the tragedy of the fight. The second use -- where now, instead of wanting Shiro to lose, we want him to win -- it’s same melody but with trumpets instead, faster-paced, a major key. Still recognizable, but its entire mood has changed. that’s a motif’s layering: the melody has become tied to high-stakes, high-emotion one-on-one fights. But it contains elements of tragic and heroic, layering them so that one reflects the other.

Without that variation, it’s not a motif, it’s a signature. And signatures, like a pose or a phrase or a fighting move, gain their strength from repetition.

At the end of S2, Allura stands against Haggar’s blast.

At the end of S7, Atlas stands in exactly the same way.

It’s not just the exact same defensive position. It’s also a similar situation; defending Voltron from a powerful opponent mostly on instinct, untrained and mostly untried. That visual repetition is why some people see Atlas as meant for Allura, not Shiro. The only variation is in scale.

I’ve lost track of all the places in S7 where the storyboarders re-used imagery or composition from an earlier scene. It can be a powerful maneuver, but like a motif, it must change, in one degree. And more importantly: the new scene must have an emotional resonance in its own right. 

What you cannot do is duplicate a previous scene with the purpose of tapping its weight, as if this will get around the lack of emotional resonance in a later use. All that does is frustrate viewers (or readers). It’s too obviously an attempt to shortcut providing genuine meaning, by manipulating a pre-existing connotation. It’s a cheap repetition. 

That brings me around to the repetition in the overall story, where the EPs are hitting the notes in S1/S2 throughout S7. Which... I guess for some people, that’s a cool trick they don’t see very often. Thing is, there’s a reason you don’t see it very often: because it generally doesn’t work unless you have a really deft touch, enough that most people will miss it. 

The more the season hit the same notes as S1/S2, the more bored I got. It’s a failure of imagination; we’ve gone beyond repetition a literary or filmic device and into something like mimicry. When the pinnacle of your story amounts to a redux of your own story, it’s verging on self-parody. I’ve seen S1/S2, after all. I came to watch S7 for a new stage in the story, not a bunch of visuals practically traced right over those earlier two seasons. 

It may be cynical, but by that point, I couldn’t help feeling disgusted, too. Could the EPs/writers not think up anything new? Was the only thing they could think to do, was to cut and paste the emotional beats from the first season? Especially when they couldn’t even manage that much -- from Shiro’s showdown in S1 to the letdown in S7. Or Allura’s startling but asskicking fight against Haggar, including the surprise power-up... to the Atlas over-powering and doing not much of anything against Haggar’s proxy. 

In the end, I was stuck with two possible reasons for the repetition. One, the EPs/writers couldn’t figure out how to structure a successful seasonal arc, so they looked back and just copied a previous season, beat for beat. Or, worse, they took exec permission and re-litigated S1/S2, which frankly is much worse. Yes, their interviews make clear they chafed at exec oversight. But is that any reason to destroy your own story by driving the same ruts for the nth time?

All I can say is: at the very least, S1/S2 had a solid structure, so while copying it felt lazy and amateurish, it didn’t make things worse. If S8 is another redux of S3-S6? Not good, because those 26 episodes, in terms of story structure, are a meandering hot mess.  

[ralfstrashcan]

Violence in Fiction

When I don't like something in a TV show it's most likely the way violence caused by the protagonists is dealt with. There are different ways in which that can happen and I'm just gonna explain some by examples, namely Sherlock, Teen Wolf and Shadowhunters.

1) Skirting violence (Sherlock)

This is a good method to avoid having to address violence in any way, at least in theory. Until there is one measly scene containing violence and to keep the balance it's not touched on at all and so things get... really weird.

Taking a look at the first two Seasons of Sherlock and ignoring minor brawlings Sherlock and John get themselves into, there is one scene standing out: In the first episode, where John shoots the Cabbie and Sherlock 'questions' him while he's taking his last breaths. The first part is still mostly okay because it is talked about. It is clear that John has killed people in the past and knows how to handle that, Sherlock asks him if he's alright (so it's made clear that shooting someone is something that potentially leaves traces on a person's mental health) and John answers that the Cabbie wasn't a very nice man. And yeah, I get it, he was a serial killer that killed people through sick mind games to fund the college career of his kids and get a personal kick out of it, but the situation in which John shot him wasn't one of imminent danger, at least not because of the Cabbie. He actually shot the Cabbie because Sherlock was about to take the (only potentially) deadly pill because of his own ego and stupidity, not because the Cabbie forced him or posed any kind of threat to him. So wasn't it a little unjust? Even a serial killer deserves a trial, right? Of course it could be argued that John didn't see all that from his tiny little window, and this part of the scene isn't even what I want to focus on. I just thought I'd mention it along the way.

The real uncomfortable part begins after the Cabbie is shot. Sherlock wants answers, preferably fast before the Cabbie goes west, and so he steps onto his shot shoulder to give him a li'l incentive to spill. And this is.. problematic. Because, you know, torture. Deliberately inflicting pain on a dying person. Not cool. And yeeeaaah, Sherlock is really harsh most of the time and unnecessarily insensitive, but this is crossing the line. And it's not addressed at all, which makes kind of sense, because Sherlock obviously has no qualms and John doesn't know it happened (?) and so it just sits there, uncommented. I always feel really awkward watching that scene because it seems so out of place amidst the other relatively violence-free episodes of S1 and S2.

In S3 and S4 the general tone of the series changes and so the violence when it occurs (Mary shooting Sherlock, Sherlock shooting Magnussen, Eurus killing people whenever) doesn't seem so out of place like that one scene in the first Season did.

2) No real or asymmetrical consequences of violence (Teen Wolf)

Two things, real quick:

i) Everyone should be a lot more traumatized than they actually are. The only person(s) to show any kind of reaction to all the gore are Stiles and occasionally Lydia (and the Sheriff, but the Sheriff is mostly exasperated so it doesn't really count).

ii) I feel like the thing that has impacted Stiles the most so far (I still haven't seen 6B, but since Stiles only has a minor role in this (</3!!!!!!!!!) I don’t think it will really change anything) was the thing with Donovan in S5 and I felt like ???????? shouldn't the whole Nogitsune thing have been way way worse for him??????? I mean okay, in S5 he was actually in control, except he wasn't because it was an accident, but yeah yeah yeah, I get it that it's hard to comprehend and knowing something rationally isn't the same as feeling it to be true emotionally. Still. That was one person that died. While attempting to kill him, mind you. In S3 the Nogitsune killed, like, a lot of people and Stiles, being possessed, didn't only have a front row seat, he also felt his elated emotions while killing them. And the whole thing went on for weeks. That's gotta be worse, right?!

I felt like Stiles acting weird and keeping secrets from Scott in S5 was used as a plot device so Theo could sneak his way inside Scott's head while after S3 there was no time to deal with Stiles-Trauma, so in S4 he was mostly back to normal.... except for that one scene with Malia in the basement, the “Control is overrated”-Scene (which I still don't get by the way, so feel free to explain that to me anytime).

3) Inconsistent reactions to violence (Shadowhunters)

This is probably the one that annoys me the most, because it's inconsistent. I freakin' hate inconsistency. Everything else can be forgiven, tropes, clichés, stupid lines, stupidity, even gaping holes in the logic, as long as it's freakin' consistent. It's why I have absolutely zero problems loving Teen Wolf to pieces, because that show has logic that is downright sketchy at times, but that is a constant, so it's alright. (Except for maybe S4, that was really too much bullshit. But it was funny as hell, okay, so I didn't care. I enjoyed myself immensely watching it.) Anyway, back to my point. Shadowhunters and the way violence performed by the protagonists is dealt with.

There are different types of violence shown on-screen:  

a) Killing Demons

This one is really unproblematic, because demons are Creatures of Evil whose sole purpose of existence is to kill or injure innocent bystanders. Also they are no highly developed creatures and look like really nasty vermin (or at least most of them do, except for 1x01 where all demons where human-shaped and human-looking but I'm putting that down to pilot-weirdness) so it's like killing a bug. It's also really convenient that 'killing' them doesn't really kill them but instead just sends them back to their home dimension where they dwell until the next rift opens. So, really, it's more like putting them in the jail of monopoly.  

b) Killing Downworlders

Eh, I'm sorry, what? Downworlders aren't killed on-screen by protagonists, only by Evil Circle Members! We all know that is Wrong and Bad!

Yeah well, mostly. Except for that one scene in S1 where Alec and Izzy slay Vampires like it's nothing. But let me start elsewhere.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Shadowhunters may or may not have racist tendencies and look down on Downworlders, yet there is that iffy little thing called The Accords that prevents them from harming them. In theory. It is also widely known that most Shadowhunters in higher ranks don't really give a shit about the Accords and feel like ignoring them whenever the mood strikes is totally okay. For example Aldertree torturing Raphael to get information. It's the same when Meliorn is to be brought into the City of Bones for questioning even though he could very well die in the process of said questioning. But, you know, he is evilly withholding information, so it's alright to break the Accords, because surely the Seelies will be too afraid to start a war with the Shadowhunters in retaliation, should anything happen. We all know how the story goes, Izzy 'goes rogue' and steals Meliorn before he reaches the City of Bones and because the Clave is full of shit they drop the charges for treason against her as soon as they get the Cup in their greedy little fingers. Really, you would think a trial for treason couldn't be ended so easily, but whatever. My point is, Izzy is very pro Downworlders for a Shadowhunter, right? In a society where, even though it's dictated by the Accords, being pro Downworlder is very frowned upon. Lydia even warns her to consider what she's saying when Izzy says, “You know what's insane? Thinking we have the right to treat a Downworlder's life as worthless” in 1x11 during her trial, neatly proving both my claims.

I think it's safe to say that Izzy doesn't have these views since yesterday but has had them for a long time, to withstand against a society that tries to teach her differently.

So why the hell does 1x03 happen?? Simon got kidnapped by the Vampires, so to steal him back Clary, Jace, Alec and Izzy break into the Hotel DuMort and Alec and Izzy are the distraction. Meaning they trigger the alarm and proceed to kill every Vampire that comes their way.

What. The. Hell.

I mean yeah, the Vampires did kidnap Simon, but collective punishment much? Who says the other Clan Members even knew what Camille was up to?? In fact we see Raphael and Camille disagree over this whole kidnapping, suggesting that this was Camille's idea alone and the rest of the Vampire Clan had no say in it at all. Of course the Shadowhunters don't know that, but that possibility should have crossed their minds, that's not too much to ask, right? Also, again, don't they deserve, like, a trial? And even if they don't, isn't killing tons of Vampires for one measly abduction where the hostage isn't even lastingly harmed a little excessive?

And yes, the Vampires did attack Alec and Izzy, but they were freakin' breaking into their home and flapping their seraph blades around. Did they expect to be asked to leave politely? What the hell?!

To be honest, from Alec I didn't reaaally expect more, because of the weird racism issue he has (in early episodes he says some super racist things about Downworlders and later it's never mentioned again and not really reflected in his behavior which I find super weird and annoying but that's a topic for another day) but Izzy, who stands out with her Downworlder-friendly attitude??? What was going on with her???

Of course one could argue here that they are just so hardened through all the demon-slaying, but honestly I don't believe that because demons are (mostly) mindless creatures whereas Vampires were real people at some point and still are in spirit if not in biology. Seriously.  

c) Killing other Shadowhunters (namely Circle Members)

And on with the killing of real people. Apparently Circle Members (CM from now on because I'm lazy) don't need a trial, fine. Apparently all the protagonists have absolutely no problem slaying fellow Shadowhunters, even though I believe that before S1 the Circle was officially dead and no more CM were running around and so the protagonists didn't have practice killing people. Izzy says in 1x04, “Before Clary got here, every day was the same. Go on a mission, kill demons. Go on a mission, kill demons.” Demons, not rogue CM. But of course that could have been for the easy parallelism, you know, to keep the sentences short. But I don't think that.

Anyway, even if we leave all this aside... shouldn't all that people killing leave, like, a slight uncomfortable feeling in anyone's gut? Because it really doesn't.

Again, one could argue that they are just hardened and used to all the violence and while I think that is a flawed argument (because I don't believe that killing is something you can get used to if you don't have a grave mental health issue) I will concede the point. For the Lightwoods.

What about Clary? She's been part of the Shadow World for like two weeks and she's joining in on the killing as if it's nothing. She goes from “Oh my god you killed her!!!!!111” in 1x01 to happily stabbing people in two seconds flat. What the hell, Clary.

That she might take to killing demons, okay, because blah blah primitive creatures blah blah. But everything else is just un-freakin-believable, if you ask me.

Of course I understand why this happens in all these shows. It's necessary. It's for the same reason that you don't show every meal the characters eat or every time they go to the toilet; it's obvious they do it at some point but nobody cares about that. If you focus all your screen-time on the mental health issues of the characters you never get to the fun parts like explosions and fights and stuff. I get that.

Still. Can't it be avoided?

Welllllll.

I have to admit, I have seen one TV show that really took the time to portray consequences of violence realistically, and that was Hannibal. In the first episode Will, who is labile on a good day, shoots someone in an entirely justifiable act of self-defense where he had absolutely no other choice than shooting that person or risk the life of an innocent bystander. And then he is traumatized for a while and the frequent visits to the psychiatrist of his misplaced trust don't really improve his situation, but my point is, he struggled with what he has done even though there were good reasons why he did it, there were long term consequences, and he is haunted even Seasons later by this, by his first time killing another person.

Now that is some nice handling of the consequences of violence.

Of course taking all that time on-screen to process his thoughts and feelings serves the plot, so there's that.

I guess what I'm saying is, I understand why it's done, this neglect of dealing with the fallout of violence, but on the other hand it still annoys me. Don't get me wrong, I love all the shows I mentioned and have re-watched them more than once and surely will again, but.

A grain of discontent stays.

[misdre]

i said a few days ago i could just write a post about my rei/max headcanons and why i ship it and such, and i just really love rambling about these two, so here is my little reimax brainstorming post that i spontaneously felt like writing. (this is all based on animeverse, obviously.)

☆ well, first i'll say that despite whatever headcanons and interpretations, i first and foremost ship characters just because it's fun, so basically It's Not That Deep and i never claim anything as canon at all, i can literally list my first reason for shipping them as rei and max being so nicely complementary characters design-wise (long dark & short fair hair, light & dark eyes, different skin tones, purple-red & yellow-green, white & black, my self-imposed cat & dog and moon & sun allegories all that kinda stuff that just works out nicely) that's all i need to enjoy a ship honestly. i don’t like the practice of undermining other possible pairings because yours is “correct”.

☆ rei and max both basically come to japan as foreigners pre-series (max speaks the language with an accent so i take it he's not too adapted to the country yet, even if he got some of the culture from his dad’s side) which i like to think brings them together early on, since they have a shared experience of not quite belonging. i like thinking of it as a sort of over-arching feature of their friendship that sets them apart from the rest of the team. (on the other hand though, there's the obvious clash of max being a rich kid from new york and rei from the backwoods of china..... i haven’t explored that much, other than rei being completely clueless about technology and max eventually forcing him to get a cell phone because he cant keep writing letters forever for cucks sake)

☆ really obvious from my art and all but i headcanon rei as sensitive and easily flustered, based on his gentle personality and how he tends to be swayed by emotions (and lack of self confidence which isn't exactly ever laid out i think, but that's how i read him losing his way so easily), and his arrogance especially at the beginning is just him putting up a front and looking down on people at first out of wanting to feel superior himself. i actually headcanon rei to underestimate and brush max off big time at first over his favour for takao whom rei is totally amazed with at first - i mean, is ever since, but in s1 takao is still New and Exciting. max on the other hand is seen impressed with rei's strength from the start, and he isn't fazed by his arrogant attitude, nor does max ever particularly put himself on a pedestal so he doesn't mind the one-sided sentiment. max is also really patient, and i like to think that his smarts and personality gradually draw rei in, especially because rei wants to think of himself as rational and mature and a big brother of sorts -- since he’s got so much experience travelling, and has had the big brother-like role in china (i headcanon him as a bit older than the rest of BBA, i mean how else would he ever have had the time to travel) but, as said, he’s easily swayed by emotions instead. the fact that max seems so childish but has this surprising depth to him gradually makes rei acknowledge him as a blader too.

☆ the thing about their friendship is that it's very stable and sort of subtly constantly on the background. i don't even headcanon there to be any dramatic turning point of them suddenly becoming closer or anything, they're just naturally drawn to each other and end up spending time together a lot. i think of them as the observant half of the BBA team, and they work amazingly well as a team early on (synchronised moves already in s1 like wow) as something that just comes very naturally to them from thinking alike and being together. (during the domestic bits of s2 they are basically always together, like just sitting in the dojo by the two of them tuning their beys together, it’s actually really cute) there isn't the sort of dramatic element in their relationship that there is between them and takao, and kai to an extent, because they never consider each other rivals but rather are always on the same side. half of g-revolution is them banding together (in spirit) to position themselves as takao’s rivals and they work for a shared objective (which they, by the way, apparently agree on just between the two of them and meet up at like death o'clock in the morning without telling anybody else before leaving together in the beginning of g-rev. and then they return to the same place later in a dramatic sunset to reminisce about that morning, i've always wanted to write a fic about how gay that actually looks) ANYWAY point being...... what was my point. that rei and max are just forever low-key together, even when they physically aren’t.

☆ basically my canon-compliant reimax includes a lengthy friends-to-lovers mutual pining of them making the perfect pair for a really long while and being close to the point of others probably thinking they're already dating when they themselves haven't even discovered or admitted they have romantic feelings yet and everyone’s just "what".

☆ back to headcanon land, also pretty obvious from my fanworks, but i hc max as the more assertive one by a mile, and my usual depiction is that he actually is aware of his feelings for rei (starting from wherever i choose that to start. “forever” is a good pick) and probably knows that rei feels the same, but max just loves teasing the hell out of him for it because rei's reactions are so emotion-based (against his own will. he'd want to be a calm and rational adult so bad) and he takes himself so seriously. max sees through rei's tough act pretty much from the start and only finds it endearing. and max is the kind to perpetually surprise everyone else, either on purpose or just by the virtue of being so much more than he seems to be, so in turn rei is infatuated with the complexity of max's character (and also just his cuteness but you know) but somehow repeatedly finds himself fooled by max anyway, e.g. rei would sure as hell think max is all innocent and cute and would probably think it scandalous if max ever found out he's having such INAPPROPRIATE thoughts about him, but then it's max making the first move by casually throwing some pick-up line at rei (....or slapping his ass or whatever) which max isn't ashamed of doing in the least. that's the sort of dynamic i headcanon them to have.......when it's not just a smooth sailing of them easily moving from friends to boyfriends, anyway, which i can also more canon-compliantly imagine. like one day they just end up making out and go "oh" and it makes perfect sense to both. that also works. which do i like better?? i love all of it. (alternatively, they're just both too dense to make the first move and the girls, hiromi and mao usually, wind up being their wingwomen who have to spell their obvious feelings out to them. girls because they are so much smoother at this stuff than guys. also, it's somehow a running thing in my imagined settings that kai is the only other BBA member who knows of them, just because he's the only one actually sitting there quietly observing everyone. and he is groaning internally all the time because these idiots just don't get it. like i could literally write a fic like this from kai’s POV. actually i have a zillion different settings for how reimax could happen and this post isn't supposed to be a masterlist of them, but that's a couple of thoughts)

☆ not a surprise but i have like a compulsive need to depict max being crazy about rei’s beautiful hair, and also his build in general (the tips of rei's ears are an erogenous zone by the way) -- i guess i headcanon max to be much more actively *attracted* to people (pan max is my way of max) and it’s very natural for him to find rei’s characteristics attractive, while at rei's end it's more of a "i have no idea why i feel this way about him what is this we're both guys it shouldn't be like this ohmygod did i just think he was cute for a second no it can't be oh no." i also think that rei would have a harder time dating another guy and dealing with what other people would think about it and all, being from the boonies as opposed to max being from a big american city. which then could also contribute to rei addressing his feelings much more slowly or being alien to the whole concept altogether. but i don't care to address real world issues in my 100% fictional noncanon fanworks, so i don't think about that aspect much.

this is probably enough rambling for one post, tl;dr i sure am attached to an imaginary relationship of a couple of cartoon boys

[radishsnakes-moved]

1) Sorry if I came off as rude or attacking you, that wasn't my intention, but I just think that calling shinoyama 'queerbating' is simply not correct. Yamagi's feelings for Shino were hinted at as soon as in ep 4 of s1, when he outright asked if Shino liked girls - girls specifically (why would he be interested in Shino's orientation if he wasn't intersted in him personally in the romantic sense?), then were made clear in ep. 7 with the heart grab scene and then further reinforced later on, by

2) showing Yamagi's evident disdain/jealousy every time Shino mentions girls etc. It was very obvious from the beginning that Yamagi is gay for Shino, so the only question left was whether Shino would ever find about Yamagi's feelings and reciprocate, to which episodes 45/46 gave us an answer. The 'let's drink till morning, the two of us' WAS, in fact, Shino's explicitly asking Yamagi out romantically. It just couldn't have been anything else in that context, when we know for a fact that Shino

3) does consider going out for drinks, two people only, as romantic (again, the AkiLafter scene in ep. 41, and Shino's 'don't you know what that is? go with her alone'). And then there's Yamagi's reaction - the wide eyes and the 'quit joking around, you don't even know how I feel' (plus his confusion about 'how Shino felt' later on when he talks to Eugene) which made it clear that's exactly the way it felt to Yamagi as well - as a date invitation, except he couldn't know back then that Shino was

4) serious. But Shino WAS serious - the fact that he grabbed Yamagi's hair out of his face to look him straight in the eyes before asking him out was a clear indicator of how serious he was. He wouldn't have given Yamagi false hopes otherwise, while being perfectly aware of Yamagi's feelings for him. And it's not only that, the entirety of Shino's body language towards Yamagi in all their scenes together in ep 45, his fond expressions, the looks and the smiles that we'd never seen on him

5) before that, the gentle tone of his voice, him calling Yamagi scary with evident fondness (it's actually a common motive in anime, to reveal that a manly man may not be afraid of enemies, war etc. but he's always afraid of his spouse), everything about those scenes screamed that Shino knew about Yamagi's feelings even before the big reveal and was totally on board with them. Ep 46 basically confirmed what was already obvious, that in the end, they both had romantic feelings for each other

6) and had Shino not died, they'd have ended up together eventually. They're basically as canon as an IBO couple can get and their not getting a happy ending doesn't make them any less canon (technically there's still a chance Shino could turn out to be alive, as they literally went out of their way to not show us his body). As for the other potentially queerbaiting couples, I don't think that orumika, gaeein or makugae are meant to be interpreted as romantic (even though I ship all three).

7) As for Aston/Takaki, in their case I do interpret them as romantic without a shred of doubt in my mind; after all, there was a canon blushing and Aston promising to protect Takaki and his happiness was a clear-cut romantic trope, and they just seem like your typical Gundam couple, but I guess it was probably too early to establish that explicitly in canon, as Aston was most likely not ready yet to realize what his feelings for Takaki really were. Anyway, they fit into the pattern of s2's

8) policy of killing romantic couples off (followed by Naze/Amida, akilafter and shinoyama, and maybe Mika/Atra/Kudelia in the nearest future). But that's just Gundam for you, to destroy a love before it has a chance to bloom. It doesn't really qualify as queerbaiting to me, as they do this to hetero couples just as much. As for Gundam 00, I don't think that anything has been confirmed when it comes to characters' sexualities and such, but it was easy to figure out from the context. I've seen

9) a post in the general tags listing all the characters considered to be LGBTQA, so, from the top of my head - most of the named innovades are gender-neutral, from what I've gathered, with the exeption of Anew and Ribbons, I guess? The situation with Tieria is more tricky than that, though, as it's been made clear in the show that he identifies as a man, and that's how basically everyone sees and treats him; it's been also said a few times in the show that only men can be Gundam pilots and

10) I think it's about the physical build rather than how someone identifies (thus the theory about Nena Trinity being, in fact , an actual trans-girls; I've read it once on tumblr and it made a lot of sense within the story, but I can't find the post anyomre; I guess the blog has been deactivated), but then the official materias list Tieria as gender-neutral too, so it's really hard to tell, especially given the fact that Tieria has the means to produce spare bodies for himself and probably

11) decide their gender as well? So yeah, the whole situatuon with Tieria is as unclear as it can be, but one thing clear is that he identifies as a man in canon and is canonically in love with another man (Neil) even if he can't classify those feelings yet (as his letter to Lockon would suggest). I think it's safe to say that Lockon is bi; he says something about being nice to women in the show once and he clearly feels something special for Tiera (that even Feldt has noticed) and calls him

12) cute etc. I think it's safe to say Lyle is bi as well, as he literally hits on Tieria in the beginning (only to be immediately shot down, because there's already one Lockon in Tieria's heart). Setsuna is pretty much considered to be asexual (but not necessarily as aromantic, as he clearly feels something for Feldt in the movie). Alejandro Corner is gay; he's explicitly shown to be sleeping with Ribbons in the Special Edition compilation movies. There could be more, but it's hard to remember

13) everything on the spot (I should try to look fot that masterpost in the tags; hope it's still there). As for other Gundam gay couples I personally consider canon, there's Trowa/Quatre from Gundam Wing and Dearka/Yzak from Gundam Seed. Oh God, this turned out so damn long and now I'm feeling bad for bothering you and making you read all this, but those Gundam discussions are always so compelling (hope tumblr doesn't eat any of the messages; I had them saved just in case though).

Don’t worry about it; I’m always happy to discuss Gundam! Admittedly, I don’t get as heavily into Gundam as I’d like to; 00 is my favorite series, but I’ve only seen the main 50 episodes, not the movie(s). As for other Gundam series, I’ve only watched the original, Unicorn, about 1/4 of Wing, a tiny bit of Age and Reco, IBO, BF, BFT, and F91 (IBO and 00 being my favorites of what I’ve watched). I’m going to try and address every point in this, feel free to shoot another message if I miss anything important!

Admittedly, in the beginning I didn’t pay attention to IBO while I was watching. I tend to have a one-track mind when it comes to anime I like, and when I’m obsessed with one, I usually can’t bring myself to care about another, so I didn’t pick up a lot of things.

ShinoYama is, in my opinion, the least queerbaity ship in the entire Gundam franchise; I’d go as far as to say it’s completely canon, and honestly, I feel like it’s the closest we’ve gotten to a gay ship being treated exactly the same as a het ship. Yamagi obviously had romantic feelings for Shino, and Shino didn’t seem to consider it out of the question. Had he survived, I actually think they might have gone canon. Sorry if it came across as me dismissing ShinoYama as queerbaiting; I think they’re the closest we’ll ever get to representation!

It could be me caving to heteronormativity, but I feel like AkiLafter was made more explicit than ShinoYama in the “he’s being asked out on a date” department. It was handled similarly, but I still get a different vibe from it. I could be wrong, though!

Body language and wording are always a part of ships in series like this. And I feel like they were all leaning towards romantic in ShinoYama; they were heavily implied to like each other romantically. But again, it’s always just implied. None of the explicit kissing and “I love you”s that you get with things like Lyle/Anew and Naze/Amida.

I abandoned MakuGae pretty early on once Ein was introduced, so I don’t know a lot about what hints may have been dropped. And Ein and Gaelio weren’t around each other long enough for anything to be solidified. Orga and Mika, however, I feel are at least slightly indicated to have feelings for each other; it may be completely platonic, but there is such a strong emphasis on all the times that they hold hands, if one of them had been female it would have automatically been considered to be canon, even with the MikaKuuAto situation going on; which I could talk about for a long time, but in short, it’s pretty much canon, though with the KuuAto being a bit more subtle than MikaKuu or MikaAto (I am acutely aware of how Kuudelia said she loves Atra, though; that’s not something I can overlook, I’m just comparing it to the explicit MikaKuu kiss and Atra’s request to “have babies with” Mikazuki). MikaKuuAto is an entirely different subject that I’ll save for another post.

Aston and Takaki were very much hinted to be romantic. All the tropes were there, all that was missing was explicit confirmation; and there’s not a doubt in my mind that we would have gotten that had they been a straight couple. My issue with all of this, if you can call it that, is that the het ships are always made more explicit than the gay ones, however “canon” the gay ones may be. The only problem in my mind is that so many het couples have been made concretely canon, while the only gay one we’ve gotten is ShinoYama. And though there’s an equal amount of killing off between them, you’re still left with more living het couples than gay ones. Equal killing of love interests is like the difference between equality and equity; if you take an equal amount from someone with everything and someone with almost nothing, that’s technically “equal”, but the person with less inherently loses so much more than the person with everything.

I admit it’s been a while since I’ve watched 00, so I don’t remember much about it. Nena being trans isn’t something I ever picked up on, so it could have been made more clear. I definitely headcanon most of the Innovades as some form of nonbinary, but I always based “canon” for that around what pronouns are used for the characters; and in all of their cases, it was always he/him or she/her. With Tieria, it was mostly a headcanon spawned from the episode where he crossdressed to infiltrate that party, and how easily the female form and voice came to him; hell, on Wikipedia’s “List of transgender characters in media”, Tieria is listed there. Later in Season 2, though, he’s portrayed as being a cis male, so that somewhat threw my headcanon of him being a trans boy out of the window. I also heavily headcanon Regene and Revive as trans boys, though solely because of their voices. Really, though, the pairs like Regene and Tieria or Anew and Revive; they’ve been stated to share the exact same genes, so in same-gender pairings, neither or both of them are trans, and in different-gender pairings, one of them has to be trans.

I do think it’s implied that Tieria loved Neil, but again, it was never made as painfully explicit as things like Chris and Lichty, Anew and Lyle, Naze and Amida, etc etc. Tieria obviously cared a lot for Neil, and never really got over his death; but I still feel that it was never made as clear as those other ships whether the feelings were platonic or romantic.

As I never saw the movies, I didn’t know about the thing with Alejandro and Ribbons; if that’s a thing that happened, then I definitely have to see the movies. And though I never fully watched Wing, I did pick up on something between Trowa and Quatre, but still; Never hinted at as much as Heero and Relena.

Wow, my response ended up almost as long as your questions. You don’t have to worry about bothering me; I very much enjoy talking about Gundam! If I missed any points you made, don’t be afraid to send me another message~