#it says 'it's worth trying to save someone even if it's doomed. even if you fail. even if it's not within your power.

[isi7140]

thinking about Themes and Characters. they're good.

[promptfairy]

❥    𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐒    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .

designed for ships, but can be used for a variety of relationship types. change gendered language/add context to your needs. happy roleplaying !!  ♡

❛  it feels so good to be bad.  ❜ ❛  it really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you.  ❜ ❛  give me something to believe in.  ❜ ❛  i don’t believe in you anymore.  ❜ ❛  i wonder if it even makes a difference to try.  ❜ ❛  so, this is goodbye.  ❜ ❛  one day i’ll wake up & it won’t hurt anymore.  ❜ ❛  it’s like i can’t even feel after the way you touched me.  ❜ ❛  you’re everything that i want, but you don’t want me.  ❜ ❛  am i a regret, yet?  ❜ ❛  was it worth what it costed?  ❜ ❛  you make me nauseous.  ❜ ❛  you’re overrated.  ❜ ❛  when i think of you, i just want to throw up.  ❜ ❛  all my friends say that you’re toxic.  ❜ ❛  why does love suck?  ❜ ❛  love hurts whether it’s right or wrong.  ❜ ❛  i can’t stop, i’m having too much fun.  ❜ ❛  you can’t save me, baby.  ❜ ❛  you never call or listen to me anyway.  ❜ ❛  where were you tuesday, october tenth?  ❜ ❛  how is your jacket covered in blood?  ❜ ❛  how was the party? did you have fun?  ❜ ❛  i fell in love with the warning signs.  ❜ ❛  the only time i feel alive is when i’m touching the warning signs.  ❜ ❛  if you tell me to stay away, i’m gonna dive in again.  ❜ ❛  my favorite color is red like the flags you fly overhead.  ❜ ❛  well, i should have known.  ❜ ❛  didn’t you see it coming? didn’t you see the signs?  ❜ ❛  i’ll break your pretty face.  ❜ ❛  bite your tongue & choke yourself to sleep.  ❜ ❛  you can hold my hand if no one’s home.   ❜ ❛  do you like it when i’m away?  ❜ ❛  you’re a pond & i’m an ocean.  ❜ ❛  all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around.  ❜ ❛  i am a wreck when i’m without you.  ❜ ❛  was it something i said to make you feel like you’re a burden?  ❜ ❛  tell me, is it worth it?  ❜ ❛  she’s a lady & i am just a line without a hook.  ❜ ❛  do what you want as long as you stay here.  ❜ ❛  you’ll change your name or change your mind & leave this fucked up place behind, but i’ll know.  ❜ ❛  if you ever try to leave me, i’ll find you, [name].  ❜ ❛  i’ll be the bad guy, now.  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t be there, even when i tried.  ❜ ❛  seasons changed & our love went cold.  ❜ ❛  i knew that this was doomed from the get-go.  ❜ ❛  you thought that it was special, but it was just the sex, though.  ❜ ❛  it’s only me; what have you got to lose?  ❜ ❛  you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk & made fun of the way you talk.  ❜ ❛  you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong.  ❜ ❛  you’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.  ❜ ❛  you’ve ruined my life by not being mine.  ❜ ❛  you’re so gorgeous, i can’t say anything to your face. ’cause look at your face.  ❜ ❛  i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way.  ❜ ❛  if you’ve got a girlfriend, i’m jealous of her. but if you’re single, that’s honestly worse.  ❜ ❛  you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts.  ❜ ❛  you make me so happy, it turns back to sad.  ❜ ❛  there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have.  ❜ ❛  guess i’ll just stumble on home to my cats. alone … unless you wanna come along?  ❜ ❛  you look so happy when i’m not with you.  ❜ ❛  i don’t know why i run away.  ❜ ❛  take me back, ’cause i wanna stay.  ❜ ❛  i kept my distance ’cause i know that you don’t like when i’m with somebody else.  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t help it; i put you through hell.  ❜ ❛  i realize that it’s much too late, & you deserve someone better.  ❜ ❛  i’m not the best at breaking up.  ❜ ❛  i like my alone time, but i want somebody to hold.  ❜ ❛  i get what i want. i keep it for a minute. then i let it go.  ❜ ❛  i hate it when you’re there for me, but i like it when you hit the spot.  ❜ ❛  i don’t do fake love, but i’ll take some from you tonight.  ❜ ❛  i don’t expect you to understand.  ❜ ❛  i’m ready to die holding your hand.  ❜ ❛  i can’t hide how i feel about you inside.  ❜ ❛  i’d give everything up tonight, if i could just have you be mine.  ❜ ❛  i’d give up everything for you.  ❜

[luimagines]

hey hey! it’s been awhile

could i please ask for a continuation to the wars soulmate au?

-🫓

Sure thing buddy! :)

Masterlist

Part 1

Content under the cut!

Now- you pitch yourself off a cliff. That's what.

You stand up abruptly- breaking the tension before it can fully form and run out of the room.

This is mortifying.

This is not what you wanted to learn today even if it still makes sense given what Sky had told you about how the soulmate stones worked. Of course Warrior was your soulmate. Had to be. It's not like it would have been one in a bajillion chance at ever meeting him.

And what does it say for when all of this is over?

You do abandon your friends and family for the sake of following him? You can't ask him to follow you. He's too important. Too many people are depending on him for him to simply go with you and live whatever simple life you had to offer.

Is this the end then? Are you still doomed? You doubt you would be able to move on from this even if you were never going to be together.

"Hold it!" Someone grabs your arm.

You scream and jump, trying to tear your arm away but it's Warrior.

Of course it's Warrior.

"What?" You ask with you heart in your throat. "Don't make this harder than it has to be. Please!"

He stills and instantly lets you go. Whatever words he had on his tongue die in an instant and you have the ever subtle feeling that perhaps you shouldn't have said that. Could this get any worse?

Warrior takes a deep breath, bravely meeting your eyes. "I'm sorry."

Why must you tempt the universe? How much more must you pay for your hubris?

Your jaw drops and your stand there stunned. "Wait-"

"I just..." Warrior starts again, cutting you off. "I'm sorry. I'm probably not your first choice." -Oh my god- "I know that my past has more baggage than it's worth." -What have you done?- "But I thought... The stones were honest though, right?"

He looks so hopeful. Had he actually wanted something from you? With you? You sudden get cotton mouth. You can't speak. Your brain flat lines there are no thoughts for you to grab onto.

"Right?" He echoes his previous question, wanting confirmation. "Even... if that was incredibly embarrassing, it was true, wasn't it?"

Somehow you nod.

Warrior lets out a shuddering breath. "Oh... Oh, ok... good. Uh- I mean. I'm... I'm glad that you.. um... Look, I really like you." He says, biting the bullet. "Like... really really like you. I wasn't- I didn't want to seem like I was coming on too strong and the guys give me a hard time enough as it is. But if this is true... If you like me too, do you think...?"

You feel like you need to sit down again. you're only saving grace is that you're outside where no one seemed to have followed you. "...You... like me?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" He flushes, the tips of his ears burning a bright red. "I had thought you believed I was just a joke."

"Funny." You choke on the word. "That couldn't have been further from the truth."

"What is the truth?" Warrior stress, boldly closing the distance between you again. His blushing features don't help him stay stoic and cool like he would have hoped.

You gulp. You don't have the words. This is both agonizingly slow and much too fast for you to handle. Why couldn't he just read your mind and- Wait. The stones.

Double wait.

You're close to each other. The stone would be silent. Cursed be the need to communication!

You take his hand instead and hold it tight. "I think... we both already know the truth."

You kiss his knuckles before you can second guess yourself. His hands are smoother and softer than you would have thought. He wasn't wearing his hand guards yet, still in his casual wear.

The effect of your kiss on Warrior was another delightfully bright blush all over his face, down to his neck and beyond. "I.... I see."

"Do you?" You whisper, feeling like a fish out of water. Everything about this feels raw and sensitive. One wrong move and everything would blow up.

"I think so." Warrior leans in, kissing your cheek. "Better?"

You suddenly feel like you can breathe again. "Much better."

[briebysabs]

Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)

I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.

And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.

And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?

Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.

But Link Click was never about perfect people.

What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?

It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.

If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.

Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?

Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.

[yandereteentitans]

Can you do a yandere Red X please? He was such a cool character in Teen Titans (2003) and sadly, there isn't enough content for him

General head canons and maybe even a short scenario? Either or, don't feel pressured!

YES! OH MY GOD YES! I assume you mean the guy after Robin taking over Red X.

[Also DC finally confirmed Brick Pettirosso is Red X???? Like no way- Probably not for TT ['03] though. He's probably just for the newer comics] [Also people who like him probably have a thing for masks-]

Selfish, only cares about himself

Or at least he did until he met you

He was just stalking some rich people, hoping to steal from them, when he noticed you getting kidnapped

He doesn't want to save you, but he's a little bit of an anti-hero and he can't just watch someone else get kidnapped

So, he decides to save you

He's a little annoyed, because he lost his opportunity to steal from the people he was stalking

But it was worth it when you gave him a pearl bracelet as a 'Thank You'

He decides to stalk you now, because he wants to know if you're part of a well off family he can steal from

Bingo! Boy just found the jack pot

Your father is a Ceo of some tech company. Your mother is also a business partner of a huge Casino. [One where a lot of criminal activity seems to happen]

He decides that his best opportunity to rob your place is to wait for you all to leave

And he finds his opportunity when you're heading to school and your parents are held up at work

He was about to leave, when for some fucking reason you came back home-

You pulled at the door, before shoving your hair out of your face. You couldn't believe you had forgotten your computer at home. Also why did it take you so long to notice that you had forgotten it? You rush up the stairs, before stopping halfway when hearing footsteps. No one should have been home-

Your brows frowned, as you peak into the jewelry room. Inside was the man who had saved you a few weeks ago. Your eyes widen and you quickly cover your mouth, but it was to late as you had already let out a gasp.

Red X turns around when hearing a gasp. He leans back, trying to see if someone was behind the door. No one should have been here- He reaches into his utility belt as he slowly walks towards the door.

You could hear his footsteps getting closer. What were you suppose to do? Run? Where would you run too? Your feet were working before your brain, because as soon as the thought 'run' entered your mind, you were running down the stairs and you hid behind a wall.

Now he knew he had heard someone. The click of shoes running away were hard to miss. He pulls open the door and looks into the hallway and down the stairs. He knew whoever it was was still in the house. He softly closes the door, before slowly walking down the stairs.

You could hear him. He was quiet, but the faint steps where still picked up by your ears. You were doomed. You were going to die. You didn't want to die- Not like this. This could be the end. Suddenly your grabbed and pulled into the man. Your eyes are wide as his grip tightens on your wrists

"Oh, it's you." He lets you go, slightly pushing you back which causes you to fall on your butt. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? This is MY house. What are YOU doing here?"

He doesn't answer you, instead looking up as if he was listening to something. There was a knock at the door and then the chauffeurs voice.

"Miss. L/n, are you okay?"

You look at Red X, he looks at you, and you look at him, and he looks at you. Just staring-

"Uh- Yes. I'll be out in a minute." You say, looking at the door, hoping maybe you can look through the door and warn him. Though when you look back to where Red X was, he was gone. "What the fu-" You stand up, trying to look for him, but he was gone, like he had never been there.

The only thing that proved he had ever been there was a large red X on the stands where the Jewlry had once been.

[elysiaheaven]

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫..?-𝟐𝟗-(The Fox's Wedding)

TW: There's a medical report about the wounds/mental state for y/n, it's slightly..Don't read it if you're uncomfy about the last two chapters of her wounds.

Feixiao strides over to you, her face lighting up with rare joy. "The Warhead has been defeated and slain. The Wolftroopers are no longer a threat, completely overwhelmed by the Cloud Knights." Her excitement is contagious, and for a moment, you find yourself smiling despite the weight on your shoulders.

Moze called her, Apparently

Moze rush into the place, and they bear Jiaoqiu's limp form between them. Feixiao’s smile falters as she notices Jiaoqiu at death's door. Her voice cracks slightly, but she looks at you with a glimmer of hope. "They found Jiaoqiu. He’s… he’s alive, but barely."

You try to hold on to that sliver of hope, but suddenly, a sharp pain erupts in your neck. Your smile fades as you cry out, clutching at your throat. Panic grips you, and through the haze of agony, you manage to rasp, “I… I can’t live…”

Feixiao rushes to you, alarmed. “What’s happening? What do you mean?”

With shaking hands, you manage to get out, “Moze… Ask him… Ask him if Jiaoqiu can see anything.”

Feixiao’s eyes widen, but she quickly sends a message to Moze. Time seems to stretch on endlessly before a reply comes through.

She reads it aloud, her voice heavy. “Moze tried… but Jiaoqiu kept whispering… he can’t see.”

Your heart sinks into your stomach, and you grip your head in frustration, tears spilling down your face. “No… no, this can’t be happening…”

Suddenly, a wild idea bursts into your mind. Desperation pushes you to your knees in front of Feixiao. “Feixiao, you have to kill me!”

Feixiao takes a step back, shock and sorrow flashing in her eyes. “What are you saying?!”

You look up at her, your tear-streaked face filled with raw pain. “My soul… it can heal someone. That’s why Jiaoqiu kept dealing with me. He was trying to save me, but… now he needs to be saved. If I die, my soul could heal him. If not, he’ll stay blind.”

Feixiao’s hand shakes, and for a moment, you think she might consider it. But instead, she takes a deep breath and then slaps you, the sharp sting of her palm snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts. "How can you say that?" Her voice trembles with both anger and compassion. "Jiaoqiu cares about you more than you realize. How could you think of dying without even asking him? You are not some cure, some sacrifice to be thrown away. You are worth more than your past and your pain!"

You clutch your stinging cheek, shocked into silence as Feixiao continues. “Stop dooming yourself. Your past was sad, I know, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep letting it control your future. Do you think Jiaoqiu would want this for you? Do you think he saved you just for you to throw your life away like this?”

Tears pour down your face as you cry out in confusion and pain, your voice breaking. "I don’t even know what I am anymore! What kind of creature am I supposed to be? I want to live, but I want to be useful!" The words spill out in a desperate torrent, torn between your need to be needed and the crushing weight of your self-doubt.

Feixiao’s face twists with a mix of sympathy and frustration, and without warning, she slaps you again, harder this time. "Stop this!" Her voice is sharp, commanding. "You want to die, but have you even spoken to Jiaoqiu? Do you know what he wants before you decide to leave him alone like this? How can you make a choice like that without asking him first?!"

Your body shakes from the slap, but before you can respond, Yunli and Yanqing rush into the room. Yunli, wide-eyed with panic, immediately bursts into tears, her small hands gripping your bloodstained kimono as she sobs. "Don’t die! Don’t leave us! Uncle Jiao will be so sad if you go!"

Yanqing kneels next to you, his young face full of worry, but he remains steady as he speaks. " you’re hurt. Please, you need to see a doctor."

You try to push them away, your voice cracking as you scream, "No! Don’t look at me! I’m broken!" Your tears blur your vision, and your voice is choked with grief. "I don’t deserve your kindness. I’m a mess!"

But despite your protests, Yunli throws her arms around you, refusing to let go. "We don’t care! ! Please, you can’t go like this. You need help. You need to heal."

Yanqing nods in agreement, his grip on your hand firm but gentle. "We’ll get you to a doctor. Your wounds… they’re too much to bear alone."

Their warmth, their unwavering love, breaks down the walls you've tried so hard to keep up. You sob even harder, collapsing into their embrace, your body trembling with the force of your anguish. In that moment, their arms around you are the only thing keeping you from falling apart completely.

Feixiao watches the scene unfold, her expression softening as she steps forward. "You're not alone, Y/N. Don’t make decisions you can’t take back without knowing how much you mean to the people who love you. You have helped...a lot..." She kneels down beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "We’ll get through this. Together."

Kindness.

It does feel like that..

it felt...

It felt like you didn't worth it.....

Your consciousness slipped away, everything became a blur. Faint images flickered in your mind—a blur of faces, soft voices, and the sterile smell of a medical room. You saw glimpses of Jiaoqiu, lying in a bed beside yours, his body covered in bandages, his face peaceful but pale. The small dragon lady, Bailu, moved around, her tiny hands glowing with healing light. You felt her magic working on you, mending the delicate stitches on your neck, the place where your head had once been reattached. But the rest of your body was weak, fragile, barely holding on.

Jiaoqiu's report arrived fast, Yours was a bit late.

The report came in the form of a thick stack of papers, detailing every brutal reality of your physical and mental condition. Feixiao sat with it for hours, her eyes tracing over the words, her heart sinking with every line. The medical description of your body was enough to send shivers down her spine, but she read it through, refusing to look away from the horror of it.

"Patient: Y/N L/N" Status: Severely Weakened

The first section was the hardest to read. Your body, once resilient and powerful, was now described as "extremely weak in strength." There were "multiple cuts," deep gashes, and bruises, but it was the description of your beheading that struck Feixiao the hardest. "The neck wound, where the head was severed, is slowly healing itself… but the process is delayed, likely due to the patient’s extreme physical and mental exhaustion."

Wounds:

Severe lacerations across the torso and limbs, consistent with multiple slashes from sharp objects.

Beheading wound, poorly healed and still prone to reopening under stress.

Feet: multiple strain wounds, cuts, and punctures, possibly from stepping on something sharp. "Walking is strongly advised against for several months."

Deep lacerations across the arms, as though the patient had been held down violently, struggling against restraints.

Feixiao paused, her fingers gripping the paper tighter. "Restrained…?" she whispered under her breath, horrified at the idea of you being forced down, helpless.

The report continued, detailing the internal damage.

Internal Condition:

Organs: Extensive internal strain. Multiple signs of poison consumption over time. "The patient has ingested various poisons, which are slowly destroying internal tissues. Fortunately, due to their non-human nature, full destruction has not occurred, but their transition to becoming human is accelerating the damage."

Severe dehydration and malnutrition. The patient cannot consume savory foods or most sweets due to their body's extreme sensitivity, leading to involuntary twitching, convulsions, and pain.

The report detailed how your body reacted violently to food. Anything spicy, savory, or overly sweet triggered uncontrollable spasms and vomiting. Your stomach was fragile, torn apart from within by the poisons you had consumed. The mention of it made Feixiao’s chest tighten—how long had you been poisoning yourself? Why?

But worse than all of this was your mental state:

Mental Condition:

"The patient’s mind is in a critical state. We advise keeping the patient away from any reflective surfaces, especially mirrors. The patient should also be kept far from any sharp objects or weapons."

Extreme psychological trauma. Frequent dissociation from reality. Paranoid tendencies.

Self-hatred manifests in compulsive behaviors. Unpredictable outbursts of emotion, alternating between hysteria and deep melancholy.

Feixiao stared at this section for a long time, feeling a knot form in her throat. You were broken, physically and mentally shattered. You had been slipping away from yourself, from reality. She felt her heart break at the thought of you, wandering alone, not knowing if you even wanted to live.

A final note from Bailu, written in hurried handwriting, stood out:

"This person, condition is...hard to say. But there is a hope if her in-human things could cure her faster, I advice she should be in constant company."

Feixiao set the report down, her hands trembling. She couldn’t imagine the pain you were in, both in your body and your mind. You were losing yourself, trapped between life and death, between the human and the spirit world.

Feixiao sighed, resting her head in her hands....

.........

She shouldn't have slapped you, she thought......

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

By the way I fully caught up to the story now— chapter three was really good, damn. Love seeing Hi3 coming back to their roots (“no we can’t sacrifice you for the greater good, we love you”)

Songque sobbing and begging Baiji to hurry up because she was so scared of death, praying for someone to save her but refusing to move herself hhhhhhh

Poor Songque has the self-worth of a wet sock, she couldn’t even compute Baiji complimenting her character, bringing up multiple examples to deny it.

Entropy chasing Songque’s illusion was heartbreaking, they were all doing different things too, gave them a lot of life, genuinely great usage of the setting there…

Props to Thelema for professing that she chooses Songque’s free will over saving the world when she could barely move herself. Props to Sera for comforting her hivemind in death. Props to Baiji for having the balls to say he’d still doom them all trying to become god if he had a do-over. Duonigue’s betrayal of Perception was hilarious I kept turning and he kept yelping hahahaha.

And Lantern!! Lantern during the boss fight!!! Lantern yelling for Songque, begging, insisting that she could beat Perception, because Songque is the only one who’d choose the world over her own life…

Songque is everyone’s favorite failgirl and they love her so much

(And I absolutely love the twist that even her name is a scam asjfhdkdhdj)

[soullessjack]

okay but like. cogs turning .. last holiday truthing cwt maxxing… the sheer difference in dialogue between the script and the episode is killing me. the deliberate choices made to change said dialogue and even the ending…

like am I alone in thinking that this whole exchange in the dungeon was very oddly disjointed? very “nobody fucking talks like that” core. they just say shit but it doesn’t land with the other’s response.

and especially when you compare it to the draft:

for some reason or another, the writers deliberately cut out jack’s lamentation that he is still dangerous, that mrs butters is right to be doing what she’s doing, and that nothing has been the same between him and the Winchesters since he’s come back. they deliberately cut out dean saying “you’re one of us, and you have a chance to make it right.”

there’s also the glaring difference between how sam and dean defend jack in the episode vs the draft. in the draft, they say this:

D: “You said you didn’t want to destroy this family, but Jack is our family.”

S: “You hurt him, you hurt us.”

Mrs B: “No, he’s infected you. I have to keep you safe.”

D: “By trying to kill the people we care about?”

Mrs B: “No, he’s a monster!”

D: “Aren’t we all?”

•••

not only do sam and dean say that jack is their family and someone they care about, but they also explicitly hold themselves on the same monster totem mrs butters holds jack to (much like what dean said in tombstone, “we’ve all done things, so if you’re a monster then we are too,”

…which all then gets cut and turned into “He can save the world.” no, don’t kill jack, he’s our family and we care about him and he is good despite his mistakes -> no, don’t kill jack, he can save the world.

the explicit choice to center jack’s worth on his usefulness rather than his inherent value as the winchesters’ family and even just as a person, rlly speaks so much to the way he’s essentially narratively doomed to be dehumanized as a tool/weapon/device.

and the fact that this is all eventually preceded by Cas saying “you never needed absolution from sam or dean or me. we don’t care about you because you’re useful or because you fit into some grand design. we care about you because you’re you,” (which in turn is preceded by jack fitting into a grand design and fucking off to the raindrops forever), makes it seem either a painful inconsistency or some weird twisted inside joke between the writers (cough season 16 cough cough puke).

I haven’t posted about it a lot but I truly think there’s some vast trapped-in-the-narrative horror working around jack constantly being dehumanized both within the show as a living weapon and by the writers themselves as a plot device.

shits wack I guess

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for dooming humanity forever so I can save a little girl?

I've been traveling with this teenage kid for almost a year and I knew from the start I had to deliver her to a militia group. It's hard to explain, but something in her body can make a vaccine for our world that has fallen apart because of a fungus. I've been trying to keep my distance, I ignored her most of the time. But you travel months with someone across the country and suddently, it changes you, you know? She's funny, kind, such an innocent child that been through so much. So yeah, I knew I had to deliver her, but there's no way I could guess they were planning to kill her to make this vaccine happen. I was there and then they told me she was going to get a surgery and die for their cause, and my heart almost stopped. They didn't even were sure that this could lead them to a cure, and they still had the audacity to say it was for a greater good.wouldSo I did what I did, I saved her. I got her before the surgery could happen and killed everyone, even the doctor.

Humanity is not worth anyway, our trip proved it to us: people out there were monsters since even before the apocalypse happened, so I don't think they're more valuable than this kid. My kid. Greater good my ass.

But then she aksed what happened and I lied to her. I said that they didn't need her service, that they stopped looking for a cure. I don't know if she believed me, I hope she did. I did this for love. But she wouldn't think that. What do you think?

[ntaras]

Bi-Han Analysis

Though the primary focus of this analysis is Bi-Han, I also do analyze Kuai Liang a bit. This analysis is also mostly for me to put my general thoughts together, so the formatting is a bit hard to read and messy. 

This analysis is not written with the datamined dlc story in mind, so for the love of god do not bring that up if you want to respond to this post. I also hate the way the brothers and the Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion rivalry was presented, but I’m writing this analysis with an attempt at avoiding placing criticism in the center (because I do have a lot of criticism that does conflict with this analysis.) 

Also, this is not meant to prove Bi-Han as “not evil”, because no, he isn’t, but he’s still an antagonist who’s making very bad choices. Also I talk about my own speculation regarding Bi-Han’s relationship with his father, and I want to make clear that I’m not trying to paint their father in a bad light because he is not canonically presented as abusive or evil. It comes off like that, but that’s not my intention. I’m too lazy to rewrite that portion of the analysis so this is just a heads up. 

Bi-Han is a walking self-sabotaging tragedy, and with Kuai Liang as Scorpion, they were doomed from the start for their relationship to shatter. You have the eldest brother: Sub-Zero, who feels forced into submission and forced to conceal his “true worth”. You have the younger brother: Scorpion, who watches his older brother be consumed by his desperation to be something, and stands unsure of how to help him. 

Bi-Han’s desire for power is the highlight of his character. His and the Lin Kuei’s role as Earthrealm’s defenders isn’t something that satisfies him- it isn’t something that shows his worth. He thinks he’s worth more than simply hiding in the shadows, waiting, and waiting for threats to emerge. Defending Earthrealm brings him no value, but perhaps taking part in ruling it would give him value (Sub-Zero: “You wield the power I aspire to be” Sindel: “Too bad you’re unfit for it, Sub-Zero.”) He wants to bring the Lin Kuei to the light, show that his clan is deserving of power. (From his bio: “Under his leadership, the Lin Kuei will come out of the shadows and fight for its place as one of Earthrealm’s great nations.”) 

I’m really emphasizing the word “shadow”. It’s an obvious reference to Noob Saibot, and it seems like the story is going for the route that Bi-Han is already someone in the dark, yet he doesn’t view himself to be in the dark. (Scorpion: “A shadow’s fallen on your soul.” Sub-Zero: “No, brother. I’ve seen the light.”) As the darkness envelops Bi-Han, he can only see that darkness as the light. 

Bi-Han refuses to see himself in the wrong, and even says his ambition is confused for evil. (Ashrah: “There are many in the Netherrealm just like you.” Sub-Zero: “You conflate ambition with evil, Ashrah.”) That dialogue also implies that Bi-Han does not believe he will end up in the Netherrealm for his actions, because he doesn’t view himself or his actions as “evil”. Everything he’s done has been for the better- has been for the good of the Lin Kuei. 

I wondered why Bi-Han was so loyal to the Lin Kuei in this timeline, as in previous timelines Bi-Han’s loyalty to his clan was because he was kidnapped by that clan, and conditioned to be their warrior (but still agreed to help Raiden and save Earthrealm.) So why is Bi-Han so loyal to the Lin Kuei in this timeline? 

This is more speculation than an analysis I can support with hard evidence, but if you’re asking what I personally think, I’d like the case to be that there was something deeper going on. That somehow, his father put so much pressure on Bi-Han (not intentional pressure) as the future Grandmaster and a protector of Earthrealm, Bi-Han ending up warping that role as “protector of Earthrealm” into his own desire for the Lin Kuei to show all their true ability is to not defend Earthrealm- but govern Earthrealm. Why must their efforts go unrecognized if their role is so important? Also this plays into his role as the first born son, the eldest child who ends up being the one responsible for their younger siblings. As the eldest, he knows what is best for his siblings. As Grandmaster, he knows what is best for the Lin Kuei. 

All the dialogue regarding their father paints him in a good light- even dialogue from Bi-Han. Bi-Han never once accuses his father as being abusive in some manner, but only as weak and lacking vision. So, there is no denying that he was a good man, but he’s still a man of mistakes, such as being the man indirectly responsible for the murder of Tomas’s family. The fact that that murder happened in the first place does raise a lot of questions about the inner workings of the Lin Kuei and how their father led the Lin Kuei.  

It does feel like their father’s death is still not fully revealed. His death is only referred to as an “accident” and not delved into further besides Bi-Han allowing him to die. (Scorpion: “I want to see the moment my father died.” Geras: “You are not ready to receive that knowledge.”) That could mean that there is more to his death, Kuai Liang isn’t ready to see that moment because he’d get all raged up, or it could mean nothing because that’s how a lot of dialogue is. 

The way their father led the Lin Kuei- and how the Lin Kuei has always been in this new era, was by teaching them to be submissive (to follow rather than lead.) And in Bi-Han’s eyes: weak. 

The fact that Bi-Han didn’t kill his father, but instead let him die, is fascinating. We can also compare that act, to how Bi-Han is submissive to Liu Kang until he’s away from Liu Kang and listens to Shang Tsung. ALSO, it’s interesting how Bi-Han doesn’t listen to Shang Tsung’s offer until he is in chains. Even if he let his father die, Bi-Han still was loyal to Liu Kang nor did he change the Lin Kuei in any way (we also do not know how recently their father died, so he may have not even had the time yet to drastically change the Lin Kuei on his own, but I think that’s besides the point). He aches for the right moment to “step up”- to separate himself from what he believes binds him. 

We see Liu Kang keep Bi-Han from being “too antagonistic”. After Liu Kang calls Bi-Han and Kuai Liang over in chapter 1, we see Bi-Han get hostile towards Kung Lao and try to advance towards him, but is stopped by Liu Kang. He glances at Liu Kang, wanting to bark back, but keeps quiet. In chapter 2, Liu Kang looks at Bi-Han when he yells “enough!” and Bi-Han quickly bows in apology. 

He keeps that loyalty to Liu Kang, until he is physically in chains, until he is physically shackled. He does not want to be prisoner to that loyalty of submission anymore. 

His submission to his father’s ruling of the Lin Kuei and Liu Kang’s Godhood is something he doesn’t want, because he feels like he is worth more than submission. He doesn’t want to be treated “so lowly".” He wants recognition for his skills- he’s eager to show himself off and prove that yes, he is a warrior.

If Liu Kang had chosen Bi-Han to be champion, then mayhaps this desire for power and self-sabotage Bi-Han participates in would have been avoided. However, it’s understandable why Liu Kang didn’t choose Bi-Han to be champion despite clearly having the talent to be one: Bi-Han always dies at a tournament. He didn’t want to risk Bi-Han’s death, and then the resurrection of Noob Saibot (or a falling out between Kuai Liang- Scorpion- and Bi-Han that resulted in Kuai Liang killing Bi-Han). But, it seems Bi-Han set himself down that dark path anyways. 

Now, onto Kuai Liang and a brief look into the relationship between the three brothers. 

The story fails at showing us that the three brothers do care about each other, but it’s just barely there. 

In Kuai Liang’s bio, it states two things: “...though he took pride in knowing that his brother, Sub-Zero, would succeed their father as the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster.” and “...he fears that may one day have to battle his brother for control of the Lin Kuei’s legacy.” He views Bi-Han as Grandmaster with pride, and is scared of having to fight him- scared of choosing duty over his brother. 

Kuai Liang verbally tells Bi-Han multiple times to “watch himself”- reminding Bi-Han of his duty (honoring their father) and questioning Bi-Han’s roughness with Johnny Cage. You do see Kuai Liang keeping an eye out on Bi-Han (as he states later in the game, he was aware of Bi-Han’s frustrations). Kuai Liang doesn’t even mind Bi-Han’s ambitions, as evident in the scene where they enter the treasure chamber. “There will be spoils in this war,” says Bi-Han as Kuai Liang does not chastise him for wanting those “spoils”, but responds with “let us win it first, brother.” 

If I’m being honest, I don’t even think Bi-Han was referring to the actual treasure as “spoils”, but rather the glory that treasure holds. Bi-Han doesn’t really have a desire for treasure, especially a bunch of coins, so I couldn’t really view him as having an actual desire for some coins and gems. And I think Kuai Liang’s response was him answering Bi-Han’s hidden desires- that Bi-Han can achieve his desire to “shine” after they finish their job. For Bi-Han to achieve his ambitions, he must earn it first. 

Up until the reveal of Bi-Han letting their father die, Kuai Liang is incredibly patient with Bi-Han. 

Regarding Tomas and Bi-Han’s relationship: Bi-Han doesn’t hate Tomas! Their relationship is complex with Tomas being the youngest brother and being adopted into the family, but it’s not wrong to say Bi-Han does care about him (as clearly evident by the “You are both unharmed?” comment).

I really do think Bi-Han being the eldest sibling is important to his character. It’s a role that brings him frustration as he cannot get his younger siblings to listen to him (them “abandoning” him and the LIn Kuei), and loses control over them. His anger is harsh towards Tomas, as is “what he gets” for being the younger brother, yet Tomas still cares for Bi-Han despite Bi-Han stating Tomas is not Lin Kuei. 

Bi-Han, in all his cruelness and frustration, cares about his brothers. And they care about Bi-Han. It’s evident in the fact that the brothers are so adamant on being the ones to kill/capture the other, not allowing anyone else “the privilege”. They are deeply hurt by the others' betrayal, and any hatred that comes from them is out of a broken heart. 

Kuai Liang did try to kill Bi-Han. After Bi-Han reveals that he allowed their father to die, Kuai Liang loses it, and knocks Bi-Han down, and you see him raise his chains ready to kill Bi-Han. Kuai Liang would have regretted it. He was in a moment of seering, blind rage, allowing his emotions to fully take over him. You know he would have regretted it, because in their confrontation outside the temple, Kuai Liang doesn’t kill Bi-Han. And if I’m being honest, I don’t even think that Kuai Liang knew he almost killed Bi-Han. 

“You are my Grandmaster no longer.” Not, “you are my brother no longer.” Kuai Liang disowns Bi-Han as his leader, but not as his brother. Even if Bi-Han shed his own brother’s blood, Kuai Liang cannot truly renounce his own blood. It’s their bond and their curse as brothers- as Sub-Zero and Scorpion: they are forever connected by rivalry and siblinghood. 

Their love is deep, but their hatred is even deeper. But is it not the same when it comes to siblings? Is that cruelty not the same as a loving embrace?

[hannahfirefly5]

The importance of the cure and Joel's choice

If there's something I don't understand in the The Last of Us fandom, it's how some people manage to minimize the importance of the cure. I think some people don't realize how essential this is.

From the start of the first game, we learn that tests were carried out to find a vaccine and unfortunately failed. This may seem like a pointless information, but on the contrary, it shows exactly how humanity reacts after realizing the seriousness of the infection. They are looking for a solution and we know how important it is. We experienced it with covid 19 when the disease was spreading and no one took it seriously before thousands of people ended up in hospital and died. The magnitude was certainly not the same but we know that if covid 19 was a critical situation back then, the infection must be a completely different story. But unlike the game, we had a cure, several even, and they never had that chance.

People die, but the infection does much more than that. They go crazy, suffer excruciatingly and kill everything that moves. The disease spreads quickly and you have no physical means to prevent it other than killing people you thought you could save. Imagine seeing your loved ones go through all of this, being infected or killed by the infected. It's horrible. So imagine learning that despite all the efforts of every country in the world, despite all the technology and knowledge of humanity, no vaccine has been found and you are all doomed.

If no one succeeded before, many then gave up on the idea of ​​a vaccine. Survival has become everyone's main concern and the world has become completely chaotic. There is only one group that has maintained the idea of ​​a cure and that is the fireflies. They are ready to do anything for this, even to go to extremes. They seem naive but deep down they are only desperate people who want only one thing, for all this to stop and go back to the way it was before. In 20 years they found nothing so imagine how they must have felt when Ellie arrived. She represents everything for what they fought for, what they suffered so much for. Ellie's immunity is their last hope for a cure.

Generations could be saved just by that. Thousands of deaths and so much suffering could be avoided. Fireflies aren't evil for wanting that. Their way of doing things is questionable but we are talking about a world where morality is defective and does not allow you to survive. Yes, they should have asked Ellie and given her a choice in this matter but, the cure is so important that they couldn't risk her refusing and resisting. Even if Ellie was going to say yes, they couldn't know and what is one child's life worth to thousands of others ?

The choice between saving Ellie or the world is an impossible choice. Even if we think we can make this choice, we can't. Some people try to find justifications and say that one of the two choices is better. For example, this whole story explaining that the cure wouldn't have worked anyway and that Joel did the right thing to stop them. Even if in real life the operation would not have worked, we must not forget that it is fiction and that in the game, it would have worked if Joel had not intervened. They would have had a cure if the operation could have taken place.

What Joel did, even for Ellie, was horrible. It was a selfish act EVEN if we understand why he did it. After all, it's so much easier to be in the shoes of someone who never knew Ellie, who doesn't know who she is. Sacrificing a stranger for the world and your loved ones is what anyone would have done. But Ellie is no stranger to Joel (or to us) and he couldn't let other people kill her. However, we can't blame the Doctor or anyone else for wanting to sacrifice Ellie. There are no good moral solutions but from a rational point of view we know what would have been better.

In Joel's place we would have saved Ellie and in the whole world's place we would have sacrificed her. No matter what action we might have chosen, none of us would have been a bad person in itself. But the impact of our decision affects the whole world and in return, the world will see us as a good or a bad person. These are just the repercussions of our actions.

I think Joel was aware of this horrible thing he did but he accepted it because for him nothing else matters except Ellie. Just like Ellie does, I love Joel but I also blame him for his actions. This is why Joel's death is not surprising. It was only a matter of time before someone found him and made him pay. Whether it's Abby or anyone else, they all have reasons to want to kill him. After all he represents the second condemnation of humanity.

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Thanks if you read to the end! I really tried to explain my thoughts as best as I could so I hope it's clear

[assorted-things]

My thoughts on the ending

This is probably going to be a bit rambling and disconnected, so bear with me...

(This got far longer than I meant it to be...)

Does anyone else feel that the Deserter is a reflection of the person Harry could have been, if he hadn't lost his memory? The bitterness and anger and inability to let go of the past remind me of a lot of things that the Ancient Reptilian Brain and the Limbic System say in the dream sequences... I think that Harry's amnesia is a gift, in a way - it allows Harry to eventually let go of the past and decide what kind of person he wants to be now. One of the first dream sequences shows Harry a vision of himself as the hanged man, and I think in a way the old Harry did die when he lost his memories. One of the reasons the game was so affecting emotionally to me is that you as the player are the one getting Harry to turn his life around, if that's how you choose to play it, because it really makes you feel involved and part of Harry's story. It's one of the reasons why I don't think the game would work well as a TV adaptation - I think it would really lose a lot of its emotional impact without your input. It really moved me that I could get Harry to go from screaming that he "doesn't want to be that kind of animal any more", to telling the Phasmid: "I'm glad to be me - an incredibly sensitive instrument".

I really love how the tone of the game manages to be somehow hopeless and hopeful at the same time. Maybe the world is doomed by the Pale, and the Revolution failed, and maybe Revachol is a shithole, but... you can find that there are things worth loving and saving in this broken world. You're subconscious tries so hard to convince you that it's all terrible and evil and that you should just give up and let the darkness take you, but all of your actions through the game can prove that voice wrong. It tells you you're not helping anyone, but depending on how you play the game, you are: you found Billie's husband, and even though he's dead, at least now she knows and won't have to wait forever for him to come home when he won't; Cuno has someone who actually listens to him and takes what he has to say seriously; you got Plaisance to bring Annette in from the cold; you stopped the mercenaries from killing as many people as they might otherwise have done (it went pretty badly in my playthrough, but I tried), and you gave Kim a friend. I love the message it seems to be trying to put across that even if the world is ultimately doomed, you can and should still try to find the good in it, and make a small part of it a better place. And maybe in the end it won't change anything, but the fact that you had hope enough to try matters. And maybe if enough people thought that way, they could change reality for the better - maybe there was a grain of truth in that infra-materialist stuff all along. Maybe it sounds corny, but I found it very touching.

This is... sort of where the Phasmid comes in for me, because everyone thought the existence of the Insulindan Phasmid was impossible, but because you believed in it enough, you were able to prove it was real. And if the Phasmid is real, then maybe other things that people thought were impossible can happen, too... It makes me feel very satisfied that I chose "SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN" when I painted that wall. It seems fitting.

I also love the fact that the Deserter being stuck in the past is literally killing him. And... he talks a big game about being the last real Communist or whatever, but in the end, how is he actually helping the working class by clinging to his bitterness and refusing to let go of what could have been, instead of trying to do something to help the people around him? Even though Harry is flawed, and on his own can't change the world, he's made a difference to the people around him, which is better than being consumed by bitterness and doing nothing at all.

In the end, I think for me one of the core themes of the game is faith/belief (not necessarily in a religious sense)... I think that something that really helps is Kim's belief in Harry. He's so kind to Harry, when he could just as easily write him off as a shambling alcoholic. I think Kim's faith in you makes you want to live up to what he thinks of you, so... I'm not sure how coherent I'm being here, but it's a bit like how Harry believing in the Phasmid lets him make it a definite reality - Kim's belief in Harry as a great detective, or someone who could be a great detective, makes Harry a better person, I think. (At least, that's my take on it - I got so attached to Kim as a character that I really wanted to make him proud of my version of Harry!) And in the end, his faith wasn't misplaced. Again, he can't change the world, and he's human and not a saint (much as Harry may think he is), but Kim choosing to be kind did make a difference, even if it was only to one man.

tl;dr This is going to sound unbearably pretentious, but if someone asked me if video games can be art, this is the game I'd point to and say "yes".

[andysdrafts]

OK, so second try because Tumblr apparently hates me (get in line fr)

imma rant about characters, yes in plural because you asked and I don't know when to stop yapping

BTW, this is an answer to @queenpiranhadon because Tumblr erased the ask when I tried to post the first attempt 😒

(Also, I'm sorry if there's any grammar mistakes in here, English isn't my first language)

First and foremost, Portgas D. Ace, my boy, there will never be a day when I don't think about him and cry my soul out. Ace is a character that was doomed from the start, he never had a chance to a normal life, never. He was doomed and tied by the actions of other people and forced to live with them as if they were his own. He was persecuted before he was even born. He was a victim of the circumstances he was brought in. Garp took him in only to leave him with a group of bandits who later on threw him to the forest to learn to fend for himself. Ace only knew how to fight, kick and scowl until the age of ten, completely isolated with only the figure of an absent grandpa and a group of bandits that, while not exactly violent, were still bandits.

Now, I'm not saying Garp or Dadan and the bandits didn't love Ace, because they did, but not in the way Ace needed to be loved. Ace was a troubled boy, it ran in his veins and the hatred and anger came to him as natural as breathing. He hated himself for being born, hated his existence and it rot away his soul, even as a child. He met Luffy and Sabo, and while the other two didn't make all of his problems go away, they did help Ace soften up and understand that not everything shall be felt through violence and bloody hands. He still hated himself, but he learned how to socialise to some extent and felt care for others, even if he didn't feel himself cared for or worthy of said affection.

Then Sabo died, and Ace HAD to understand that he couldn't exactly be rude, not to the people he cared about, so he softened a bit more as he officially took on the role of big brother to Luffy, no longer seeing him as a complete nuisance but as someone he wanted to protect and care for, hence why he went down to town when Luffy got injured to look (steal) medicine. Both of them grew up and Ace set sail to the Ocean searching for his own adventure, something that he could call HIS rather than something that would keep him tied to his father and the damned blood he hated. He wanted to be himself, desperate to be out of the shadow of Roger, something that would make him forget, even for a moment, that he was such a hated person across the world. He met Whitebeard and the Whitebeard pirates, and he found himself a home, a home where he was loved, cared for and appreciated no matter what he did or who he was. He found a real father in Whitebeard, someone who did not care how many times Ace retaliated and fought, someone who loved Ace the way Ace needed to be loved. And that same love sent Ace back to the dark place he came from.

He loved Whitebeard as his own father, and he couldn't tolerate the disrespect or disloyalty towards him because he felt like he owned something in exchange for being loved. He was always self sabotaging himself, with his hatred for himself and the situation he was in, the people who hated him, the whole world. He was never taught how to keep something good of his, and it's no surprise to me he relapsed into his own, personal pit of misery. He lived his life thinking he wasn't worth more than dirt due to who he came from, that he wasn't loved and even if he was, he still owed something in return for his cursed existence. I don't think he regrets dying in favour of saving Luffy, because he loved Luffy with his whole existence, what he did regret was never noticing how much he was loved and cared for until he died. That he had to die for him to see that he was appreciated and that he would be missed if he suddenly disappeared, that someone cared enough for him to go and declare war just to have him back, to have him safe.

Ace never stood a chance at having something good of his own, a normal life, because all he ever knew until his death was violence and his own self hatred that was engraved in his brain and clung to him like a second skin. Because he wasn't just made to show Luffy he wasn't ready for the hardships of the New World, but also to show dehumanising we can be with ourselves, and how more often than not we sabotage ourselves until we can't anymore, until we reach our ends and until no one can actually save us. No matter how much one person is loved, it won't matter in the end if said person can't see the love for them.

Second: Sanemi Shinazugawa. I've had the biggest obsession with this man and the longer I think of him the more I pick up on how traumatised he is. Again, another child victim of the circumstances he was raised and brought in. His father an abuser and his mother a lovely woman who loved her children over everything. Both of them left something to Sanemi before they passed, Shizu the love for his family, the immense heart the boy has even if he keeps it under wraps and Kyogo the rage, anger and hatred. Both of them coexist within Sanemi, clashing with the other and yet, complementing the other like a puzzle.

I always found it interesting because Sanemi has equal parts of both love and hatred to give, the same amount, like he's fifty-fifty. Growing up in an abusive home, whether it's emotional, physical or mental, destroys in hundreds of ways. Not only did Sanemi have to see his younger siblings and mother getting punched, kicked, or pushed around in ways that most definitely left bruises, but also, he most likely endured it as well. I have absolutely no doubt that he, in countless times just like his mom, put himself in the way of his father. I know my boy would've rather a zillion times be in the end of his father's anger than have any of his younger siblings or mother to get the harsh treatment.

He grew up with anger, and desperation later on when Kyogo died and Shizu had to work day and night without sleep, hence why he self imposed the role of the sole provider for the family and TRIED. He was the oldest son, and there's no way you can't tell me he didn't feel responsible for both his mom and younger siblings, because in reality, being in situations like that make you worried sick. The money sometimes isn't enough and Sanemi was painfully aware of that. So he took it upon himself to be the best caretaker and protector his family could have.

But then Shizu was turned against her will and killed her children, permanently scarring both Genya and Sanemi physically, mentally and emotionally. And none of them understood what actually happened until later on, which makes the guilt even worse for both of them. Genya called him a murderer without knowing Sanemi was trying to protect him and Sanemi killed his own mother because he couldn't protect her, and by defect, he couldn't protect his younger siblings either. It was so traumatising he lost the ability to see colours. So he pushed away Genya, now filled with anger, regret and guilt, over not being able to protect and care for his family like he said he would. I personally think that, before he joined the Corps, when he started killing demons on his own, it was a projection of his guilt, trying to make up for what he couldn't do for his family, which in the end may have hurt him more because he saved countless of people, but the nagging thought at the back of his head was still there, he didn't saved his family, he could do it for others but not for those he cared for.

Then he joined the Corps, met Masachika and lost him too. And it hurt, because the guilt and the anger just kept growing inside him, why couldn't he save the people he cared for? The feeling of inadequacy must've made him company for a while, at least for some time, but that only served as fuel for his rage, like a flame thrown into a puddle of gasoline.

And he tried so hard and desperately to keep Genya away, keep him safe because he didn't want his younger brother, his only family, to dig an early grave and die, in what could be a painful and gorey death.

Did he do it in the worst way he could've possibly done? Yes. Sanemi had the purest intentions towards Genya, but he didn't know how to properly put them in action. So he pushed and pushed and pushed, but a cord that is tensed too much always ends up breaking, and so, when Genya died, all of Sanemi's efforts seemed futile. Plus, the realisation that he had messed up, that he could've gone and treated the situation with more delicacy, without violence and maybe, just maybe, Genya would be alive, thriving and he would've kept a good relationship with his younger brother.

The realisation of what he had done hit him like a thousand bricks and after the damage was done, only adding to the burden in his heart. He didn't have a body to bury, only Genya's belongings, but it still was an empty grave. And it hurt, knowing things could've been different if only he had taken a different route.

Third: Nico Robin. Now, my beautiful queen also broke my soul until I cried and begged for a stop. Robin is also a child born and moulded by yet again, the decision of third parties that ended up affecting the environment where she grew up.

Her mother, an archeologist with big dreams that left her in the care of close relatives, but it ended up backfiring because even if Robin's aunt wasn´t physically abusive, she was still neglectful with Robin's emotional needs and proper love and care.

However, Robin did had a glimpse of what actual happiness and acceptance was with the other archaeologists in Ohara, which is why her story is even more heartbreaking to me, because even if Robin faced hardships like the lack of a proper mother figure and proper care from the people that were supposed to lover, she found a home in the other archeologists in the island, she was happy in her own little way even with the other cons in her situation. And meeting Jaguar D. Saul only heightened her happiness, like when he taught her how to laugh despite the harshness of the situation.

But every good thing Robin had was snatched away from her in the blink of an eye.

She had to witness a genocide, deal with the guilt of being the only one alive, fight for her life and get used to the violent environment she had been thrown into, while being alone, knowing everyone was against her. She had to learn how to defend herself, learn how to be selfish and understand that, one wrong move and she'll have a blade against her neck. She understood it very quickly, it was either she was killed or she killed. She was constantly walking on eggshells, covering her back and faking personalities one after another to survive, barely doing so while she tried to reach her dream, desperately so.

Eventually, she gave up on her own life, almost throwing away her dream before she was saved. The Strawhats for Robin were salvation, like a warm blanket in the freezing winter, but she didn't feel worthy of it and tried to distance herself from them to protect them.

Robin is very similar to Ace, both are prone to self sabotaging tendencies and full of hatred or despair in their souls, both of them understanding that they were loved until the very end. The difference is, Robin got the chance to cling to it, Ace didn't. They're parallels, only differentiating from the other because one DID got the message in time. It's the line between who gets saved from the dark hole you were found in in time.

Robin understood the value of her life in time, just enough for her to be able to turn back and decide that she wanted to live, that living was something worthy.

Fourth: Bakugou Katsuki. Now, Katsuki is my biggest hear me out ever. The first time I watched MHA, I couldn't stand him at all. He was the reason I stopped reading the Manga and why I stopped watching the anime. I couldn't even fathom the idea of having to see him even for a second.

But he fooled me, like he fooled everyone else around him and some other readers. The second time I watched MHA because it bugged me leaving it midway, I noticed he's a complex character in reality.

His reasonings weren't petty anymore and suddenly, he gained that something that just caught my eye, and I just found myself analysing every single little thing he did or said. To the first interactions he had with Izuku when they were children, his start at U.A, his reactions, everything. And I noticed it, he's the most fucking complex character I've ever seen or read of.

The more I knew, the more I liked him, because he was incredibly real and relatable. Katsuki is a character you either hate it or love it, it's everything or nothing, and to understand him, you HAVE to pay attention to even the minor detail because you blink and you miss what he actually meant or wanted.

I was having a field day the more I watched him, truly. Katsuki is intense, in every sense of the word, he goes all out or he doesn't do it, because he doesn't conform to the rules of society or what is expected of him. He follows his own rules and his own expectations.

Step by step he built himself into what he wanted to be, with a certain image of himself that he had according to the people he had grown up with and how they treated him.

But all that image was thrown down the drain the moment he steps into U.A, because not only is Izuku there, who he thought was less, but also, he realises, he might not be the best of the best as he had believed all his life to that point. It hit him like a truck, like cold water falling on you out of nowhere.

And it hurt him, it was gut wrenching to him, it destroyed him from the very inside of his soul and left a bitter taste in his tongue, to the point he was having an anxiety attack during class after Momo pointed out what he did wrong during the bomb exercise.

He acts like he is the best, and believes it to some point, and yet, at the same time, he doesn't feel worthy and enough.

It's complex and raw because it's relatable. It's real because he makes mistake after mistake, he's crude and brash and his personality sucks to some extent the longer he interacts with classmates, teachers and people.

Everything in his screams intensity, to his thoughts, to his words and even the way he stands. And his character development is MASSIVE.

It may not look like it, but, for people who are like him, baby steps feel like a cool breeze after being in a sauna. He didn't show it, but he was drowning in his own mind and feelings after All Might's retirement.

It surprised me, took me by surprise the way he was crying in the episode where he fights Izuku. It was overwhelming to me, he was overwhelmed himself, and the way he portrays his emotions in that moment, how he lets them out and shows a part of himself that he doesn't show, his vulnerable side, the real thoughts and emotions he had inside of him, it was beautiful.

Beautiful because you know he was actually human, that he actually understood that he was wrong, that he had been making mistakes by pushing everyone around and how, just like everyone else, he tended to overthink.

And while acknowledgment seems stupid and shallow to some, acknowledgment is the biggest step a person can make to be better, to admit you're or have been an awful person, but you acknowledge it to move forward and make a change.

And he changed! Little by little, you can see and notice how he starts becoming a better version of himself. And while he keeps that part of himself that makes him him, he also starts to show a part of that raw, soft personality he had inside him, hidden deep in his soul under wraps.

It's amazing watching him change and grow, to the point his looks even turn softer, more smother, less harsh and more accessible.

Katsuki is real because we all make mistakes, and he shows that we can always start over, apologise and change. Because even if he couldn't change the past, as much as he wanted to, he wants to make the future better, he wants to be better. He puts in the effort, it's constant and he tries hard.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I'll proceed to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the month 😩

[mei-senpaii]

"What you want to do in the future is up to you.

And when your dreams come true, you will clearly feel how much you are worth.

If my actions can help others, I am sure I can ...... realize my value.

I knew I should have listened to my homeroom teacher and taken the recommended entrance exam.

Walking along the paths of Senba Academy, you may feel an unexpected sense of nostalgia. ......

We left the main gate and lay down on the grass in the sun.

Even this casual blue sky looks very attractive.

I wonder if all graduates are nostalgic like this.

Perhaps because I was deep in thought, I did not notice the discomfort at first.

The area was very quiet.

——！！

Even though it was after school, there was no noise at all; it was eerily quiet.

It was then that I realized that I had to do something about it.

She" is there."

Alone, a white-haired girl looking around the school.

--.

My intuition tells me that she is the person who made a promise to me in a dream. ......

They are very similar.

..

A......

I want to talk to her and ask if we know each other.

I would like to hear her name.

I would like to talk with her about ...... many things.

But why ...... why can't I find my voice?

——！

No.

Who?

[Don't talk to her.

[Unhappy].

There is no one around.

[She will ruin your life].

[So ......]

No.

"Our eyes met.

If the voices in my head are correct, I am .......

......

I walked past her and walked away without looking back."

Kiana:

If you feel pain, it proves that you're troubled.

Don't accept defeat.

She seems to have said something, but when I turn around she is not there.

The moment I heard a sound as if something had shattered in my heart - and it was.

Suddenly the school was noisy.

Who the hell was that girl?

(Is that the ...... illusion?)

Now I am in fear.

It was at this point that I remembered - and I was not the only one.

There is a continuation to that dream.

It was a hopeless, suffocating nightmare.

If you asked me how Kiana and Mei's relationship works, I would say that it is made up of traumas and bad decisions, redemption and, in the end, love. The R13 chapter was a step towards delving deeper into how Kiana and Mei's dynamic worked.

Mei didn't receive much love from her father. Kiana lost both her parents and her family figure [Shigure Kira] after getting into a conflict with her mother's sister. Kiana and Mei are both people who sought comfort after living alone for a long time. At first, Kiana treated Mei as just someone close to her. Overcoming the challenges was difficult as time went on, and soon after, they both found more than just comfort in the presence of another.

Index: Kiana had to deal with a lot of things from the past. Alaya showed Kiana that Kiana's world and the reality she lives in are difficult and that Mei was just something bad in her life. Kiana on the other hand did not trust this, her world was with Mei and Mei was the only person who was willing to fight for her, just as Kiana was willing to do anything for Mei.

Kiana's confirmation deepened even further when Mei was about to die and Kiana finally appeared to save her, claiming that she would not know what to do if she had lost her.

It is shown in the Stigmata world that in every universe that Kiana and Mei meet, they are both doomed to suffer and not have a happy ending, Kiana had the opportunity to choose to live in a reality where she would never meet Mei, thus making her life not so "miserable", but Kiana did not want to, because she did not want to live in a world without her reason to fight.

The white-haired girl fought alone on the battlefield until the end.

The friends who fight with them are dying one after another.

I am not sure how these women died.

However, the girl's eyes had long since lost their luster from the heavy rain.

And .......

Her trembling voice called my name in a weak voice.

Kiana:

Mei Senpai .......

In several realities shown, Kiana died fighting, or trying and failing to save the world from the Houkai, all because in all of these realities Kiana was fighting for Mei.

How did we meet?

I searched through all the memories in my mind, and they were all the same.

No matter what era, what her identity is, or whether there are variables.

Feeling hopeless about life, I reached out my hand.

Then, she caught her.

Even though we have never met before, I don’t feel strange or disgusted at all.

Without even figuring out why, I chose to go with her.

Perhaps the reason is simple.

If I were with this person...

No matter where you go or how the world changes, there will always be good things waiting for you.

I just had this feeling, quite simply.

If we had never met.

Will the predetermined future change?

This rule is broken as long as she gets acquainted with Kiana.

Will the fate be different?

Kiana walked past me.

This time, she left without looking back.

"Ah, you clearly said that you don't want to live in a predetermined future."

"But I still place my hopes on you."

"It's really... a bit self-deceiving."

Only by moving towards our own lives can everyone have a real beginning.

…

With every step she took, Kiana's memory faded a little from my mind.

[Mei~Would you like to come with me? 】

The farther we are from each other, the weaker the connection between us becomes.

[I’m sorry, Mei… I’ve caused you trouble…]

Obviously, it shouldn't be like this...

【Mei~】

【Thank you for all the time. 】

Disgusting feeling.

That's not the case at all!

If this was really arranged, why does the pain feel so real?

Why not just run away from this dangerous place without looking back? Why!

"!?"

I am such an idiot...

——I have a dream that I want to realize, and I want to share this dream with you.

It is not fate that I hate.

It doesn’t matter whether it is arranged or not!

"What I long for is obviously a future with Kiana in it!"

"Don't go! Kiana!"

Kiana

……!

Meiyi...

You still called me.

"Because there is no such destiny or constraint at all."

"If being with Kiana is destiny's guidance."

"Then why would we reject this future that makes us feel happy and blessed?"

"You saved me, stayed with me, and took me away when everyone hated me."

"If this is also false, then prove it to me, MEI!"

Kiana

She would probably enjoy listening to your complaints.

Thank you

I'll be there for you.

Raiden Mei confessed to Kiana twice, proving the importance of the narrative that Mei understands Kiana's feelings enough to go to the ends of the earth to save Kiana twice from losing herself completely.

Back in the days of the Zero Era, Kiana loved Dr. MEI enough to never question her methods as long as Dr. MEI needed her for every situation, and one of those situations led to Kiana's death. Dr. MEI says "Kiana was meant to be different, even though she is a Herrscher, she is kinder than a human being, totally different from me."

Kiana's death led Dr. MEI to sympathize with Kiana, she fell in love with Kiana and recognized how bad she was for her life, and asked Raiden Mei to treat her better.

In each samsara Kiana died every time she met Mei, it was believed that destiny was not for both of them to end up together.

Still, the samsara had a possibility of being shaped, and Kiana didn't care if the world ended as long as she was with Mei, the end of the world wouldn't scare her much.

In the end, both made a promise to protect each other forever, there starting their relationship

[horizon-verizon]

Everyone is asking why no one listens to Helaena when she hasn’t said anything worth listening to! Every dreamer GRRM has written fought against or worked towards what they saw and here she is giving vague one liners and never acting on it.

Daenys dream about the Doom of Valyria: Convinced her father to leave Valyria before the destruction and saved her family and the entire Targaryen dynasty.

Aegon the Conqueror dream about the Others: United the Seven Kingdoms to prepared the War for the Dawn 

Daenerys dream about dragons in AGOT: Putting together all clues from her dragon dreams and performed magic ritual to wake the dragons.

Helaena being compared to Cassandra of Troy is so funny because her dreams literally serve no impact to the story, she’s not even shown dreaming, she just mumbles nonsensical phrases to give the audience/readers a sneak peek than does nothing about it. Helena’s dreamer’s arc was to say randoms words that she didn’t even understand herself, she never analyzed anything until she had the opportunity to react and was made to look like a horrible mother who didn’t cared about her son. It’s disappointing because changing small things like having her act a little paranoid and ask for more guards or being the tiniest bit more insistent about the rat line could’ve made this work because it would look like she at least tried to save him. She didn’t try to make him understand when it’s clear Aegon was confused. She was coherent enough to tell him not to interfere with Jaehaerys’s education so she should have been able to express even a smidge more about her dragon dreams.

Yes, I'd have to agree. I can't believe I'm defending the greens, but what has Helaena actually said that could clue anyone in on anything ominous or threatening or related to anything happening right here, right now? We have seen no instance of her giving as-clear-as possible warning, actually relating her "dreams" to others. And the only time that the latter occurs is her telling Aegon she's afraid of rats...which no one likes...anyone would need more detail. which again, leads me back to my conclusions that to make this neurodivergent girl a false dreamer who can't communicate her "dreams" very well or seemingly with a lot of low effort essentially just "traps" her within the suffering. Unlike Cassandra who was literally cursed, Helaena's obstacle is her inability to communicate and not necessarily others' unwillingness to listen. So they make her disability a critical element of a fatal hindrance AND it emotionally isolates her away from just about everyone. It leans towards dehumanizing bc Helaena/a disabled person becomes more of a silent, "useless", "burden" whose missed value is in those dreams she can't even communicate.

Just to nail it it again: like I said earlier HERE, a true "vision" (from other/most supernatural/fantasy media) is a full-fledged image or sound from a "scene" as if you are present & experiencing it as if you were there or observing it movie-like:

a mental image of what the future will or could be like an experience of seeing someone or something in a dream or trance, or as a supernatural apparition a vivid mental image, especially a fanciful one of the future

What HotD!Helaena is actually "intuition":

the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference immediate apprehension or cognition knowledge or conviction gained by intuition quick and ready insight

We see no evidence at all of her having fully fledged visions, jsut these "feelings" for us to even qualify her abilities as actual dragon "dreams". Every dragon ASoIAF dream that has been described has been visions as opposed to intuition. And every single dragon dream is told as being "nightmare[s]", "dream[s],". Dany sleeps, dreams, and has her visions that way

(the Qartheen House of the undying are not dragon dreams, Dany had to drink shade of the evening to see whatever the visions these Qartheen warlocks brought her to se and eventually trap her):

“When you come to the chamber of the Undying, be patient. Our little lives are no more than a flicker of a moth’s wing to them. Listen well, and write each word upon your heart.” When they reached the door—a tall oval mouth, set in a wall fashioned in the likeness of a human face—the smallest dwarf Dany had ever seen was waiting on the threshold. He stood no higher than her knee, his faced pinched and pointed, snoutish, but he was dressed in delicate livery of purple and blue, and his tiny pink hands held a silver tray. Upon it rested a slender crystal glass filled with a thick blue liquid: shade of the evening, the wine of warlocks. “Take and drink,” urged Pyat Pree. “Will it turn my lips blue?” “One flute will serve only to unstop your ears and dissolve the caul from off your eyes, so that you may hear and see the truths that will be laid before you.” Dany raised the glass to her lips. The first sip tasted like ink and spoiled meat, foul, but when she swallowed it seemed to come to life within her. She could feel tendrils spreading through her chest, like fingers of fire coiling around her heart, and on her tongue was a taste like honey and anise and cream, like mother’s milk and Drogo’s seed, like red meat and hot blood and molten gold. It was all the tastes she had ever known, and none of them . . . and then the glass was empty. A Clash of Kings -- Daenerys IV

[sincerelyandyourstruly]

the sun, the moon, & the truth

i used to say that "every opposites attract dynamic eventually distills down to a sun/moon dynamic."

and at first, this seems to hold true for xiaoven as well! i mean, it seems kind of obvious, does it not? venti is happy and bright, a lot of fun and laughter at parties; whereas xiao is quiet and shy, shrouded in darkness and doom. the sun shines a surefire path through the gloom, for through the darkness will always come the dawn; whereas the moon waxes and wanes through the nights, uncertain and untouchable.

i've often seen it said that in a xiaoven sun/moon dynamic, xiao sees venti as his sun, something bright and beautiful and worth every ounce of adoration to be afforded. by contrast, he himself cannot live up to venti's ideals (as much as he secretly yearns to) and views himself as nothing more than a pale reflection, a cold imitation, of that light.

despite this, venti still sees the goodness in xiao, the reflection of that light, and loves it all the same (for the moon is still beautiful), and together, they make one another complete; through venti's light, xiao is (saved) (forgiven) ((set free)) loved.

it's a fairly romantic notion, is it not? for a character to realize that their quiet, reflective nature is something worth loving, and that although they may be surrounded by darkness, that does not make them any less righteous themselves.

but as you study venti's character more closely, start to see the grief and sadness and aching regret underneath his cheerful and carefree facade, it becomes more and more obvious that venti is not really so much of a sun after all. his hopes and ideals were learned from another, from whom he has even taken his entire appearance. he himself is a reflection of someone, something else— the nameless bard and mondstadt— and the light it has living up to its ideals.

and venti knows this. i really don't think he's ever seen himself as much more than a mere reflection of something he admired and wished desperately to become himself, and the other thing is, he tries so hard to embody that which he reflects. to believe venti to be a sun would be to fall for his facade.

now, i believe it was at around the time of the endless suffering trailer that i remember seeing people suddenly start to reevaluate the venti == sun equivocation, specifically because venti in that trailer had been haloed by the moon himself as he welcomed xiao's return. However, what this also meant is that people began to reframe xiao as the sun in this dynamic, which.

yes, it is cool that we are trying to subvert the sun/moon dynamic here. there's a tumblr post that's crossed my dash before that considers this very concept, that of a sun-coded character who views themselves as Too Much, damaging to stare at or be around for too long. but guys.

we can be gay about the sun/moon dynamics by having two moons.

like, party rock with me for a second here and consider it this way: venti is like the bright full moon, shining in the night whilst hiding its dark side underneath; whereas xiao is like the shadow of the moon during a lunar eclipse.

they still have that "opposites attract" kind of vibe this way; it's just that rather than making them into characters who are fundamentally dissimilar, yet ultimately perfectly complimentary, they are each at their hearts exactly the same despite what one may believe at first glance.

comparing xiao specifically to things like the new moon, or the shadow of the moon during an eclipse, highlights the way he tends to bury himself in the shadows of the legacies he carries as his life continues to revolve around his duty to liyue. venti, on the other hand, is just as i stated earlier: he shows that which he reflects very brightly, that which he loves so ardently, like the full moon hiding its secrets and sins beneath itself.

and like, this interpretation doesn't even mean that we can't have that tasty tasty character struggle in xiao where he views himself as lesser than or unworthy of venti's feelings! bc it's fun, y'know, and really easy for xiao to just assume these things abt venti, that he's better or purer or less sinful (far less sinful) than himself.

to xiao, venti is something more beautiful, more divine, more knowledgeable, and more trustworthy than himself. he likely views venti this way for a long time after they first meet and believes it to be true down to the very core of his heart.

but that's in all likelihood simply untrue about venti! as an original archon who partook in the archon war, he absolutely has to have some war crimes under his belt, committed to keep mondstadt safe. or even barring that, his "negligence" (if that's what you want to call his periods of sleeping and leaving mondstadt to its own devices) has led to the suffering of many, such as the days of the aristocracy in mondstadt and the legend of vannessa. just bc venti doesn't talk abt these things explicitly (either by choice or some higher power's force) doesn't mean he does not shoulder their burdens every moment he's alive the way xiao shoulders his karmic debts.

and i think that until he realizes that venti loves gentleness in a person more than he loves vibrancy and life, xiao would probably struggle to understand why venti would fall in love with him (monster that he is). bc venti has seen many a person come and go through the centuries, and he has seen so much bloodshed in his life that i would imagine he values a gentle spirit very highly as a result. and seeing the gentility in xiao? for venti, oh— that's easy.

and yet xiao doesn't see that in himself!! he sees his every move as compensating for his own past sins!!! Until he starts to see past venti's facade, and realizes, oh, we are not so different after all.

(and i think that something similar could happen from venti's end as well— that he sees xiao as lovely and gentle and worth every mite of grace the heavens can grant him, for not a single sin he has been forced to shoulder has been performed by his own willing hands. and i think that he would struggle to accept xiao's love for him, because he believes that what xiao loves is his facade, this idea of what the divine barbatos, not venti, is supposed to be, but once he realizes xiao sees him for himself…!)

it is through falling so deeply and irrevocably in love and then recognizing themselves in one another that xiaoven can achieve some much-needed self-love and acceptance. and that thought makes me wanna sob facedown in a rainy ditch as lightning strikes from above forever and ever and ever.