#it says lucy loves me dads fear me

[baby-prophet]

new hat new hat

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Haircut

Summary: Javi thinks that he's way past due for a haircut. You like his hair long for reasons other than his good looks.

Word Count: 2.1K (I sprinted to write this after I saw this picture)

Pairing: Husband!Javi x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) Oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, (lovingly?) possessive Javi, Javi's back at again with his filthy mouth, hair pulling, Javi is hungry and the man is gonna EAT, allsions to more smut, Jonas Brother's references ( bc Javi is our girl dad king and his daughters love them LMAO)

A/N: Y'ALL REALLY THOUGHT THIS PICTURE OF PEDRO WAS SURFACE RIGHT HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!? WRONG. I legit have 3 WIPS I started in the past 24 hours based on this picture alone. Pedro really did this one for the Javier Peña girlies (gn) and I will forever be in debt to him for that. You cannot tell me that this is Dad!Javi when his kids are a little bit older bc HOLY SHIT?! This really may the nail in the coffin for @notjustjavierpena and I bc really fear this is the dilfiest Husband Javi has ever looked 😩😵‍💫 anyways, never getting over this!!!!

Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist

“God, I can’t even remember the last time my hair has been this long. Lucy keeps saying I look like a Jonas Brother. Am I supposed to know who they are? Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Javi sighed, playing with his dark brown curls in the bathroom mirror as you snuck up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, peeking out to watch your husband’s longer than usual locks twist between his fingers. 

“They’re the goofy looking boy band on Disney Channel that the girls are obsessed with. Like the Backstreet Boys, except cooler, apparently.” You laughed, planting a soft kiss into the fabric of Javi’s worn t-shirt covering his broad back before stepping next to him, leaning your hip against the bathroom counter to admire your husband as he fiddled with his hair. 

“Jesus Christ, those guys? God, I really do need a haircut before I start looking like the poster what’s-his-face hanging on Lucy and Elliot’s walls.” Javi chuckled, running his hand through his hair once more before mirroring you, his hip resting against the counter, leaning his weight on his palm splayed flat along the granite surface. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think he’s supposed to be the best looking one.” You teased, giving Javi a playful shrug. “Besides, I like your hair long.” 

“Seriously?” Javi asked, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. “It looks like a mop right now.” 

“A very sexy mop.” You smirked, nudging Javi before stepping closer into him, reaching up to run your hand through his curls, slowly twisting the ends with your fingers. “It reminds me of that trip we took to Jamaica a few years ago. Your hair was almost this long, remember? You looked so hot in those stupid floral button downs you insisted on buying, and hanging out shirtless by the pool all day while you played with the girls.” 

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m surprised we didn’t end up with a fourth kid after that trip.” Javi chuckled, slowly shifting the palm that had been holding him up towards your waist, letting his fingers gently toy with the waistband of your pajamas. “You really like my long hair that much?” 

“Mhmmmm.” You cooed, continuing to close the gap between your bodies, your free hand resting on Javi’s chest as the other continued to stroke his curls. You could feel a low groan rumbling in Javi’s throat as your fingers weaved back and forth through his hair, the other creeping up to cradle his jaw, thumb tracing back and forth across the stubble on his cheek. 

“Yeah? What else do you like about it?” Javi groaned, his hand slipping under the elastic waistband of your pants to grab a fistfull of your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hand. 

“I like…” You paused, bringing your lips to Javi’s, pressing a tender kiss on his lips, “I like that it gives me something extra to hold on to.” 

“Hold on to?” Javi asked, cocking his head in slight confusion. 

“Hold on to when you go down on me. I love being able to run my hands through your hair when you eat me out, especially when it’s long like this.” You smirked, watching Javi’s eyes go wide in delight, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he bit down on his lip. 

Before you could say anything else, Javi’s hands were gripping around your waist and hosting you up to sit on the counter, caging his body against yours, hands planted around the outside of your hips while his lips crashed into yours, your mouths becoming a tangled mess of tongue and teeth. 

“Fuck…” Javi whispered to himself, pulling away from your lips to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck, running his hands over your thighs. “I love it when you play with my hair, Hermosa. Love feeling you pull on it when you’re close. Makes me lose my fucking mind every time. Fuck, I’d stay burried between your legs forever if I fucking could.” 

Javi began to let his kisses trail down your body, past your chest and across your stomach before he was dropping to his knees in front of you, draping your legs across the width of his shoulders. Pulling at your waistband, you lifted your hips off the counter so your pajamas and underwear could fall to the floor, revealing the wetness that had been pooling between your thighs since you had walked into the bathroom a few minutes ago. 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi whispered, further parting your legs to see the arousal already dripping through your folds, staring up at you with a boyish grin on his face, “So fucking wet for me, Hermosa. Didn’t realize you liked my hair that much.” 

“Oh shut up you goof, you know I- o-oh fuck-” You whimpered, Javi cutting off the rest of your sentence as the flat of his tongue dragged across your cunt, the suddent sensation making you gasp in delight, already playing in to Javi’s plan as your hand shot down to his head, digging your fingers into his messy hair. 

“Better hold on tight, querida. There’s a lot more where that came from.” Javi smirked, pulling away just enough to see the smug smile between his cheeks, peppering a few wet kisses on the inside of your thighs before his head was back between your legs, placing a soft kiss on your clit, already aching and throbbing for more of what you had just been promised. 

“Do your worst, Peña.” 

That one sent a low growl of approval humming through his chest, laughing to himself as his hands gripped tighter around your thighs, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your skin before another slow, broad stroke of his tongue was traveling through your folds. 

While you were truly convinced there wasn’t another man who loved going down on their wife more than your husband did, you could always tell when Javi wanted nothing more than to stay buried between your thighs, making you cum over and over until you were begging him to stop, lapping up every last drop of you until there was nothing left to give, and right now, you already knew Javi meant what he said when you were about to have to hold on for dear life. 

The hand buried in the dark waves of Javi’s hair only began to tug tighter as his tongue began to work meticulously across your cunt, pressing just enough pressure against your sensitive bundle of nerves to already have you a squirming, whimpering mess, but painstakingly slow enough to have you begging for more. 

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face. 

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt as he eased one, then two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down. 

“Oh my god, f-fuck. You feel so good, baby.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked another long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine. 

“Fuck, I love this perfect pussy so much. I still can’t believe she’s all fucking mine. My perfect fucking wife. Tell me, Hermosa, whose pussy is this?” Javi asked, pulling away for you to see your slick covering his mustache and the lustful look pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, the quiet possessiveness of his tone making your cunt clench even tighter around his fingers as they continued to pulse in and out of you. 

“It’s y-yours, Javi, It’s all- fuck- It’s all yours.” You whined, your breath hitching in your throat as you spoke. 

“And who’s the only one who makes you feel like this, huh?” Javi tutted, sliding a third finger into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting making you let out a ragged whimper as you threw your head back in pleasure. 

“Y-you- Jesus- Y-you are, Javi.” 

“And who’s gonna be a good girl and soak my face when she cums for me?” 

“M-me.” 

“That’s fucking right, you are.” Javi growled before diving back between your legs, working his tongue relentlessly against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your core, eating you up like a man starved, desperate to make you fall apart. 

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as his lips latched around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around him. 

At this point, your fingers were tugging so tightly around the soft, brown curls of his locks to try and hold yourself together, that you were convinced that you were close to pulling his hair out of his skull, but with the way you were on the brink of collapse from the way Javi’s mouth was working against your cunt, you almost didn’t have a choice. 

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close. Don’t stop.” 

“I won’t stop, mi amor. Won’t stop until this pretty pussy fucking soaks me.” Javi mewled, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Promento. Damelo, bebita. (I promise. Give it to me, baby).” 

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder as your hands stayed buried deep in his hair, grasping onto his now sweat-dampened ends to try and pull yourself back down to reality.

After a few moments of letting you come to, Javi gently pulled out his fingers, all three drenched and glistening with your slick, pulling them out and bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face. 

“God, you taste so fucking sweet. You really weren’t kidding about the hair, huh Hermosa?” Javi chuckled, cupping your jaw to cradle your cheek with his broad palm, forcing your gaze up at him. 

“I told you.” You giggled softly, still trying to catch your breath as you smiled at him, pulling him in for another long, tender kiss. “Hottest looking Jonas Brother I’ve ever seen.” 

The two of you burst out into laughter, practically snorting at your comment, taking a second to compose yourselves as Javi crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes at you. 

“If that’s the fucking case, I’m getting out the clippers tonight.” 

“Not until you take me to bed and do this all again, you aren’t.” 

taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3

[still-a-morosexual-help]

honestly tho om lucifer is such a comfort character

you know mammon's my all time all around favourite no contest but like

lucifer just hits different

he's so tired and he's so overworked and he loves his family so much it makes me sick he's willing to kill and die for them at any chance he made the misfits of the celestial realm his family despite being the perfect example of an angel himself he thinks his brothers are adorable he just wants them to have one quiet day

he's such a bastard he's arrogant and prideful and he'll willingly meow like a little kitty cat because his boybestfriend is sad

he's got daddy issues he's terrified he's traumatised his greatest fear is his father he spent years fighting a pointless war and never questioned his father about whether they ever even tried to find a way to end the war without just mindlessly trying to kill people who really aren't that different from them for a reason no one knows he's willing to be given piggyback rides by another high profile man in a public area

he's a dog person he's weak to puppy dog eyes from everyone he cares about he's constantly done with Mephisto's shit he gets jealous because one of his friends complimented their mutual friend's cookies

he's willing to villainize himself in the eyes of his family to keep them safe he's sadistic his first response to being cornered and scared is to kill anyone who's making him feel that way his love language with his brothers is being a little shit to them he's somehow connected to/the starting point of all the issues/trauma his brothers have he has empty nest syndrome even though all his brothers live at home he hasn't realised the extent to which his actions and words have fucked up his brothers and is constantly surprised and devastated by it when he realises

he has a son he pretends is his brother whom he only ever canonically acknowledged as his son twice which led to huge blowout fights one of his younger brothers bullies him into going to the pub with them once a week his son runs a club with his youngest brother dedicated solely to making his life miserable

he's sadistic he genuinely enjoys seeing people suffer he's so polite he'll allow himself to be poisoned by food he knows is bad he bought dinner for a whole restaurant because it was the owner's birthday he wore a silly outfit and worked at a themed restaurant as a favour for a friend he gets visibly more aroused when he's ordered around he insults his brothers but gets upset whenever an outsider does the same

he loves his human so much and he's so annoyed at them he's so frustrated with them he's so angry at them and he's so worried about them so protective of them so incredibly proud of them he has tried to kill them many many times

he's a borderline alcoholic he's immortal he's greying he gets migraines he forgets to eat and he sleeps at his desk he does the mom thing and orders takeout for his children when he goes out to eat without them he likes dad jokes his greatest wish is to visit a factory he likes good socks he's a grumpy old man

he's over 10 million years old he's an eldritch horror he's the personification of the sin of pride he needs glasses to read his childhood friend? ex-boyfriend? kind-of-brother? old coworker? brother in arms? calls him luci

he's a naggy paranoid perfectionist he removed the entire bathroom because one of his brothers forgot to clean it he had to literally be kidnapped to send him on a vacation he ripped out multiple sets of his own wings he doesn't like being seen shirtless he lectured jason voorhees about him not killing efficiently enough

he's a respected and recognised drag queen he believes love is love he's canonically so beautiful but no one ever makes a move on him because the whole realm thinks he's in a committed long term relationship he refuses to believe his best friend is in love with him despite multiple people saying so

he's the type of person you want to please the type of person you want to make proud the type of person you want on your side because you know no matter what he'll always have your back you're safe that as long as he's there everything will be okay the type of person you want to be held by while everything is falling down around you

he's even queer

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 1/22

PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

STORY 2 - Sequel

HOOK: A LUCIFER CENTRIC AU - AO3

Some RadioApple undertones perhaps.

Another idea popped up but I still can't write fully alksjdakljl

I swear this has more plot to it. It will involve the Sins, Luci's siblings, and overlords.

Big idea. Little vocab.

Will link a part 2 when I post it!

--------------

The Hazbin Hotel residents stare in fear as the young Morningstar is having an ugly, one-sided, verbal match with her father.

It has been a stressful day and Charlie was on a short fuse. Vaggie tried to coax her girlfriend to relax but it didn't work. The other residents, minus Alastor, were too afraid to try because if Vaggie couldn't, how could they.

Lucifer was up on his tower when he was called downstairs to get his daughter to calm down but it just made him the primary target for her frustrations.

Charlie: Dad! Stop! I don't need this. I. Am. Fine.

Lucifer: Sweetie, you clearly aren't. Why don't you take a nap? I know that always helped you to calm down.

Charlie: Know?! Tell me, Dad. What exactly do you know about me after not being present in my life for decades??

Lucifer, stunned: Char-char-

Charlie: Don't call me that!

Vaggie: Charlie, I think-

Charlie: I wish it was you who had just got up and disappeared instead of Mom. At least she would've been there for me from the start!

There was a small gasp from Angel but no one dared to make a sound. What can they even say to that? All that can be heard is Charlie's labored breathing.

Lucifer's eyes narrow and his heart breaks a little (liar, the whole just shattered) but he doesn’t say anything. His shoulders slump, eyes void as his gaze never leaves his daughter.

Charlie seems to realize what she had just said and opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

Lucifer: Of course

The King of Hell says it slowly, almost like he's drunk. (But he can't get drunk. Believe him, he tried. He tried multiple times to drink himself to-

Lucifer: But you're exhausted and I'm sure Alastor can pick up where you left off. Go sleep.

The King gives a strained smile to the group then promptly goes back upstairs.

Once he's gone. Charlie moves to follow but is stopped by Alastor blocking her way.

Alastor: I wouldn't try that, my dear. I suggest you listen to your father and rest. Separately.

Charlie: But-

Angel: Not a good time, toots. You fucked up.

And she did.

--------------

I love Charlie okay!!! I just like to think that the most cheerful ones always have the sharpest tongues when frustrated.

[valsdelulucorner]

Lucifer headcannons? You don't have him...

thx!

Lucifer head cannons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like his ideal date idea is having a quite night in with you, candle lit dinner, soft music playing on his record, sharing a glass of demonous with you while you both unwind from the long day you both had. Its best when the brothers are out of the house so you both wont be interrupted, these nights he treasures with you.

Because Lucifer has feathered wings, he needs to preen them. This is a very taxing task though, it takes him ages to do it because its difficult to reach the base of his wings, hes wasting this time preening when he could be working. He used to see this as bothersome but once you offered to do it for him, it became a very relaxing time. He puts the record on while you both sit on his bed, softly talking about the task at hand while you help him with his back feathers while he does the ones he can reach. You help him get some work done while he preens his wings, though when he is up to his shoulders in paperwork, he will let you do his whole wings while he gets to work. you don't mind though, playing with his feathers is defiantly an experiance.

I like to think he has smile lines, you cant convince me otherwise.

not the biggest on cuddling i fear, though that doesn't stop him from holding your hand or having a body part on you while you both sleep. When you first started sleeping together, he liked to keep to himself, finding it difficult to sleep after years of getting used to sleeping alone. It wasnt until one morning he woke up to you cuddling into his chest, his arm around your shoulder while you cuddled to his side. He had slept in because of this, it was the best sleep he had in a while, maybe having you with him wasn't to bad.

Is ambidextrous (he can write with both of his hands). It helps him whenever he needs to do two things at once or if asmo wants to paint his nails.

He keeps all the little gifts you give him that he hides from his brothers. That small matching bead bracelet you gave him? He wears it under his sleeves. That one time you took him to build a bear and made him a small stuffed bear with a little heart with a voice message? He keeps it safe in his closet, getting upset whenever the heart runs out of battery. The small notes and letters you leave on his coffee and lunch? He keeps them all in a small box for a keepsake (he has done this with all of his brothers). The little lego rose you made for him? Keeps it on his desk in his penholder.

This man will be like "I am one of the 7 lords of hell and one of the top three strongest demons of all time, you think a mere human will be able to effect me?" Then will literally start keeping hairbands on his wrist if you have long hair, keeping small plasters in his inner coat pockets if you are clumsy, and will sometimes show up to meetings with small clips you put in his hair that he has forgotten to take out.

Girl dad, need I say more

100% think the program your watching is "stupid, mindless nonsense" but then will stand besides you, behind the couch, or in the doorway watching your show intently. Will actually start getting invested and will start coming down if he hears you starting to watch it. "I cant believe that human would go for that spineless man, she could do so much better then a man with a cardboard spine" "I know! she should just stick with mason" "Please, hes also a moron"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luci isnt my fav but he deserves some more love lol. What should I do next?

[notthecutesttrash]

Grey (Pt. 3/Final)

Warnings: Reader is painfully nice, angst, ultra fluff

Word count: 8k

PART 1, PART 2

At lunch, you sit in your old spot. Your feet dangling above the ground atop the bench while eating the food your mother made yesterday. She didn’t leave you a note this time, seeing how upset you have been these past few days, which is a relief. It was quiet today. No girls to bother you, no one near your favorite large tree that the wind loved to surround. 

Sure you’re relieved that you can finally eat food, relieved that you’re undisturbed, relieved you won’t have any more bruises.. but you aren’t happy. And you’re only able to eat half of your food before you lose your appetite. 

You make sure to avoid everyone if possible. Throughout the scowls, the glances, and the even more hidden whispers, you keep your head low and move quickly to avoid interaction. Especially making sure to ignore a specific Miya twin. It’s not like he would deliberately talk to you now that the project is over, but still, you’d rather not see him at all. 

Practice always arrived promptly. Although you’re doing all right, better than before perhaps, you don’t say much. Lucy looks like she wants to approach you a few times, but you make sure to pack up and exit so fast she’s unable to. Several times you nearly stumble into a set of yellow and grey-haired twins who leave their practice around the same time as you, as unfortunately, the other gym is right across theirs. Fortunately, you manage to quickly scurry away, enough for them not to notice you. 

Atsumu lately is giving you more glances than usual as if he is planning on saying something. So when the bell rings you would rapidly spring out of your seat and run to the bathroom. Closing the stall, you’d sit on the toilet and hold your lunch to your lap, exhaling a relieved sigh. 

You didn’t want to hear any more teasing. Not after that embarrassing display you showed.

It keeps replaying in your head over and over. The way you're pushed to the ground, surrounded by bullies, revealing your terror so promptly. The way Mr. Knight in shining black armor saves the day and makes you feel even worse. 

I don’t need your help. Leave me alone. That phrase echoes in your head. 

Pathetic. You can’t even deal with your problems, instead, Atsumu of all people helped, and worse.. it did something. You aren’t being targeted anymore and that was irritating. If it hadn’t been for him, you wouldn’t be in this stall right now miserably eating your lunch. Food would be in your hair, you’d come home to your mom and dad who’d ask how the day went, and you'd have to keep up the stupid lie of sharing your food. 

Sighing, you pack up the rest of your lunch.

Kiyoko and the women trudge into the area, their hair a little damp, bits of food poking in it. Their heads hang low, and some are snickering at them. 

It seemed the tables had also now turned, and you didn't know why.

You’re confused as you spot Atsumu chuckling, and some part of you is disappointed in him.  

When you’re studying them, they manage to gather a collective scowl at you, and accustomed to the fear you swiftly spin.  

Before everything, you'd eat alone, avoid any interaction, ignore bullying, play, run off, go home, stay in your room all day, do homework, and then go to sleep. It was just as it was, back to normal. No pathetic fangirls, no men, and no motherly teasing. No one spoke to you, everyone (besides Atsumu striving to get your attention) ignored you as you did to them.

Kiyoko might give you a few scowls sure, but did she deserve that? 

It was perfectly justified, just how everyone decided it should be… Right? 

A voice would selfishly reason that it is better than being the one who is repeatedly bullied. You would no longer dread going back to school, no more panic attacks at 4 am, just a plain good night’s sleep. 

But you're not satisfied now.

It's just wrong.. all wrong.

When class ends, you encounter eyes with Atsumu.. then you do the unthinkable. 

You start fixating as Kiyoko's aggressively packs her bags before going home. She’s too drowsy to even force a glare yet still has a hard hatred in her eyes when fixated. “Uh… hey, Kiyoko.”

“What?” 

Atsumu is confused, and he’s frozen beside the door as he watches the exchange. You’re shyly fidgeting with your fingers and she scowls at you. 

You mutter to not be heard by a certain someone. “Are you… okay?” 

Kiyoko’s eyes widen, but It sharply settles to a glower that feels similar to Atsumu before he had told her off. 

“Like you care.” She shoves past you, bumping your shoulder, and stomps out the room. It’s a silent pitiful pause before you start to do the same and Atsumu calls out to you.

“(Y/n) wait-“ 

He blocks the doorway, and you stand, crossing your arms. You have a cold expression, and you're glaring angrily. “What are you doing?”

“Getting your attention.” He looks pathetically desperate, and you grunt.

“No. I mean, what are you doing?” You firmly repeat, and he's visibly lost and doesn’t understand.

“Are you bullying Kiyoko?” He’s taken aback at your words, shocked. He doesn’t respond, he’s not sure how to when the answer is around the lines of, "yes- but not in that way."

A pin drop can be heard in the heaviness. You gather every bit of courage and force your way out, declaring something that makes him still. 

“You’re such a jerk.” 

Atsumu is accustomed to these words. Osamu, his team members, women, friends and, so on would say similar phrases along these lines. It shouldn’t have hurt, but when you did, there was a pang in his chest like none other. 

This time when you rushed out of practice today, you saw Atsumu waiting outside. 

“(Y/n) lis-“ You spin on your heel the opposite way and rush off. He sighs, slumping disappointedly. He fixates on your retreating form, a twitch prodding his lips into a small inevitable frown. 

Osamu elbows him hard in the side, forcing him out of his trance and causing him to grumble.

“Talk to her.”  

His shoulders fall as he watches your even farther form. You’re clutching your bag desperately tight, and your speed walking like you’re politely running away. 

“Yea, easy for you to say. She doesn’t want to be talked to.” 

“And how do you know?” 

“Hm, I dunno, maybe her saying the words “leave me alone.” or you’re such a jerk.” 

Rintaro joins the conversation as he walks out of the gym. “She’s a girl. All of them do that. In reality, that’s code for “give me attention.” Because if you don’t they’ll just get even more mad.” 

Shinsuke follows after, stoically blinking. “Were you talking with her normally before?”

“I mean.. a little.. yeah.”

“So did you do anything impolite to make her not want to talk to you?”

Atsumu’s expression falters, and he rubs the back of his neck. “Well..” 

“He made her cry, twice.” Osamu chips in, and Atsumu elbows him hard, his expression changing into a glare. 

“Huh, maybe she does want you to leave her alone then,” Rintaro says.

He quickly slumps in defeat. “Yeah… I’ve been.. a bit of a jerk.” 

The team side eyes each other. “A bit?” 

“There's a possibility it can all be fixed by communication. Go apologize and talk about it,” Shinsuke says simply. Atsumi groans aloud, face planting. 

“What if she hates me now Samu?” 

“I was just trying to help.”

“Do you think I really am mean?”

“Do I deserve redemption?” 

Osamu’s eye twitches at the tenth whine and nearly decks his brother in the face when they arrive home. 

When you open the door to yours, you look miserable. 

“Are you okay?” Your mother asks, and you let out an exhausted breath. 

“Yeah.” Slipping your shoes off, you leave the rest of your lunch on the table and rush to go upstairs. Your mother is frowning once she opens the bento, finding the food only half eaten. It was just like before when there was no project, no bullies, and no boy. 

Cuddling your blankets you turn on the TV to watch whatever. You remain like that for a few minutes before a gentle buzz vibrates the bed. Pulling it to your sight, you see 

Miya Atsumu: “Can we talk?” 

You huff and throw the phone away from you. What did he possibly have to talk about to have the nerve to text you? 

The worst part is you didn’t even hate him for it, and you despised that you didn’t.

Maybe if you were a vengeful person, you’d be at peace now. You should just be happy that Kiyoko and the others are getting a taste of their own medicine. But you aren't. You’re not happy, it doesn’t make you proud, It makes you sad.

Frankly, you just want nothing happening at all. You’re okay with a boring life, no one speaking to you, no one being bullied, eating lunch, going to practice, coming home, eating dinner, and going to sleep. That’s it, that’s all you needed and you’d be happy.

But would you though? 

All you can think about is the warm sputter of butterflies in your stomach when he brushed up against your leg at that desk last Friday. The way he so genuinely smiled and how it made your heart bloom. He’s so different when it’s with you alone, so how could he be so cruel? 

At dinner time, you’re quiet and your parents send a few glimpses to another. There is a dull ache in your chest as you eat, and you can’t help but remember how your mom giggled when Atsumu was at the table. It’s a direct comparison to the painful silence right now. Your dad is reading the paper, your mom is awkwardly eating, and you’re pressing your hand against your cheek while shoving small forceful bits of food into your mouth. 

“So..” your dad starts and you’re already dreading this. 

“Anything new happening lately?” Your mom gives him a certain look as if saying are you sure you want to go into that? 

“No.” 

“How was the project?” 

You shrug. “It was fine.” 

“You’re no longer talking to that boy?” Your dad hesitantly asks. Your mom clears her throat when you go silent. 

Your tone is frustrated and drawn out as you battle with your patience. “It was just a project Dad. We did our work and now it’s done, it’s been done since Tuesday.”

He slowly nods and looks at your mom again. 

“Well..” she starts and you don’t know where it’s going but you give her a fed-up look. “Do you like him?” 

You go silent again and you’re no longer eating, just playing with your food. There's a mixture of both disgust and affirmation to that question.

“No..” 

They share a look. “Okay.”

“But..”

You sigh when it still keeps going.

“If you do… maybe you should talk to him.” 

They don’t know the full story. All they know is a man you might like gets assigned to be your partner and sparks fly. They don’t know your mixed emotions.

They don’t know how he made you cry twice. The first from him practically calling you a loser and laughing in your face. The second, him seeing the embarrassing display of being bullied by his own fangirls, and worse, saving you from it. They don’t know the evil side of him when he is returning the favor to them right after.

“Yeah.. I guess.” You take a small unenthused bite of food, then stand, signaling that you’re done talking. 

A buzz vibrates your phone, and you’re washing the dishes, ignoring the sound. You know who it is. 

“Is that Atsumu?” Your mother chirps in, also just happening to know. It rumbles again and you sigh. 

You want to say it was another friend or Lucy, but that would be a fat lie. No one texts you, you have no friends. Lucy didn’t even have your number, she was just a nice teammate. Your parents have been trying not to pester you about it, but now and then they would imply something along the lines of getting together or inviting a certain someone for dinner. 

They didn’t know what was happening, they had zero rights. 

Your curiosity gets the better of you. Subconsciously you pull it to your view and you see 2 notifications belonging to the name of Miya Atsumu. 

Miya Atsumu: “Can I just explain?” 

Miya Atsumu: “Please?” 

Why did he want to talk to you so badly? You just can't understand it. Did he care about you or something? No. That’s out of the question. 

For the first time you’re instinctively typing an angry response, forgetting that he can see the bubbles on his end. Crap. You delete it quickly and your heart stammers when you see an immediate text forming from him. A minute passes of nothing and you exhale a breath of relief, maybe he didn’t see and was caught up in his own text. Or he respected your lack of answer, which you doubted, but you’re glad you don’t see another. 

Why did you still have his number in your phone anyway? The project was over, he isn't going to keep talking to you after he's bored. Just because he hasn’t been mean to you for those few days during the project didn't mean he suddenly changed.

A sting in your heart rejects that notion, remembering again the feeling of your heart when you both share a laugh and work beside each other. Whenever his eyes would twinkle at you so sweetly like he actually cared. 

You should hate his stupid smug face, the way it looks at you, the way his eyes glimmer. You should hate him, and Kiyoko, and Angie, and Osamu, and.. and.. ugh. You’re practically scrubbing a plate down to the bone before your mother plucks it out of your hand. 

“I think it’s clean now.” You’re groaning, jaw clenched so tightly you’re sure you’re going to snap something. 

“Why don’t you just go upstairs, for now, I’ll finish the rest.” She says, grabbing the sponge out of your hands. 

You breathe what feels like steam. “Fine.” 

Over the next few days Atsumu is still desperately trying to get your attention. Practically doing anything in his power to make sure the stars align to speak to you. But you’re quicker. 

Whenever you see that yellow hair you make sure to run far, bolting at the slightest resemblance. You never even manage to get to your locker before he’s in the hallway, so you’re forced to carry obnoxious books while you sprint off. Besides, even if the fangirls were told off, you’re sure they would do something once they see you speaking with him again. And it's not like you’d tell him either if something did. They can easily threaten you, and force you to meet up outside of school so you can get thrashed around.

Today he’s nowhere in sight and you’re finally releasing the pounds of weight off your arms. 

“Hey.” A familiar stern voice shakes you to your core, and you slowly stand around to get a view of the person.

Osamu, thank god. 

“Hi..?” You awkwardly press your back against the locker, staring at the calm features that replicate Atsumu. He looked much different, and his features are more relaxed.

“You’re (Y/n) right?” He asks.

You’d think he'd remember that after the time his brother made you run off with tears. 

“Yeah..” you trail off, unable to meet his eye while you grip the strap of your bag tightly.

“Hm.” He pauses randomly, studying you, and you’re shuffling your legs nervously. 

Finally, he speaks. “Do me a favor, tell Sumu off so he can finally stop bothering me.” You furrow confusedly. 

“What?” 

“He won’t shut up about you, I’ve been hearing it for weeks now," he groans. You’re eyes widen. You can't believe him, but he looks terribly annoyed just thinking about it that it makes it seem truthful. 

“What? Weeks?” That didn’t make sense. 

“Or get together already, I don’t care.” He sighs tiredly, like fed up with the world. 

You huff, “All he cares about is bullying,” under your breath. 

He shrugs, “He can't pull that off, he's too focused on whining like a baby trying to get your attention.”  

If Atsumu was here, surely he’d be arguing with his brother, exclaiming, “That’s not true!” But you’re ogling at the imaginary scene, unable to even picture that. 

You awkwardly say an "okay.." mainly to end the conversation.

He lets out a sigh, the only thing his mind can go to as he walks off is food. “I’m hungry.” 

He’s gone before you could even respond, and you’re standing there, completely dazed. What even just happened?

It’s cold outside, it's the weekend luckily, and you’re bumping your volleyball at home to the wall, practicing your receives. No texts were received today which was nice. You knew he’d get bored. He’s fed up and the chain of command continues. You're free while others take your stead.

Guilt aches in your chest from that thought. 

“Dinners almost ready (Y/n)!” Your mom calls out, and you pant into the wispy air. Setting the volleyball down, you take off your outside shoes and slide the door behind you. It’s warm, and your dry hands clasp together, receiving the heat. Your moms about to serve the food, and you stand at the bottom of the stairs. 

“I’m going to get my gloves for outside.” 

She nods and you rush up. Where were they? You haven’t used them since last winter. You search in your closet, crouching to see if you can find the labeled bin. Hands digging deep into the space, you’re so concentrated on trying to find the mitts that you don’t even hear the knocking on the door. 

You do hear small mutterings of your mother down the stairs, but can’t make it out too well. You shrug, assuming she was just talking to your father anyway. 

“Oh my- yes yes, of course, come in. You must be freezing, poor dear.” 

Ah! There they are! Stuffed in between your summer shorts and sandals. Guess you must’ve disorganized them along the way. 

“Got them!” You walk downstairs with your head down, holding the mitts in your hand. You turn to set them on the table and cease the movement, eyes widened in shock. Your heart nearly leaps to your tight throat, and your stomach is anxiously swarming.

“What’s he doing here?” You look to your mom who just allowed your worst nightmare to come in. He’s panting, looking at you with determined eyes, his brows furrowed and his expression serious. 

“Don’t be rude (Y/n). He came to see you. You don’t expect me to leave him out there in the cold do you?” She waves you off and walks to the kitchen to leave you two peering at another. You’re about to turn away to run back up the stairs, and he shouts out, “Wait!” You stop in your tracks, pursing your lips, eyes shut. 

“Can we just talk.. please?” Your fingers are holding onto the railing, your right foot at the first step. Don’t look, don’t listen, just leave. 

You turn around to face him, and his eyes widen a little. You turn to your mother who is making herself busy, and you gesture your head up the stairs. Were you really going to do this again? Why? Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you sending him out, shoving him away, and saying leave me alone?

He nods quickly and follows. Once the door closes you whip around to him, crossing your arms firmly. “Why are you here?” 

You’re taken aback at his exhaustion, he’s panting, and his blonde hair is a little disheveled. He’s a mess, and you’re confused, he’s always so well put together with that plastered smirk that said “I’m better at everyone at everything, and I know it.” 

You bite your lip, some guilt settling in your chest as you wait for him to catch his breath. 

Eventually, he brushes his hair to the side, breathing deeply and fixating calmly on you. “Listen, I know you don’t want to talk to me. I know you don’t like me.. for good reasons.” You remain quiet, nodding to his words. He thinks a second before speaking again. 

"But I didn't hurt Kiyoko or anyone else." You squint your eyes and he stumbles over his words. "Maybe I indirectly started it after I called her some mean things, but I wasn't the one who did that, like they did to you." You're humming as you think. You aren't sure if that pleases you.

He suddenly gestures low for a bow and you flinch a little at the fast movement. “I’m sorry for being a jerk. I'll do better, i'll make it up to you I promise.” You’re shocked at this change of heart and he continues, sputtering a little.

“I hope you can forgive me, it doesn’t have to be now.. just someday.. and I'll do whatever it takes to regain your trust, and if you still decide that I am not worthy of it in the end.. " He pauses. "That’s okay.. I’ll understand.” 

You don’t even know what to say, but those are the last words you expected. He really felt.. sorry? Was that even possible? No that wasn’t right, this must be a ploy. Frankly, you don't get why he wants your trust so badly in the first place, but you’re kind of flattered. 

Though.. Atsumu wouldn't lie would he? He’s hardly the type to even feel guilty over tears, he’d never stoop so low to beg for forgiveness if he didn’t want to. He is a jerk and he even admitted that, but he can’t be serious, can he?  

Standing straight again, his serious expression alone proves you as wrong as can be, and he’s desperately scanning your expression, looking for any possible emotion. You quietly turn your head to the side, mind still mulling over the current scene.

When he recognizes the absence of words, he bows again, this time politely. “That’s.. all I wanted to say, I will leave now.” He turns his back to you, signaling his movement. The door opens and he’s about to step out, and you have a voice that’s screaming at you to stop him before it’s too late. 

“Wait.”

He stops and looks at you expectantly, and you inhale deep. You shouldn’t be saying this, but you are. 

“Apologize to Kiyoko too.” He grimaces like you just uttered the most foul words in existence. 

He breaks out with a, “Huh?” 

“Apologize to her, and the other girls.” 

Again, he repeats even louder. “What?” 

You press your hands against your waist, frustrated he isn't understanding. 

“Apolo-“ 

“No, I heard you.” He presses a hand to his forehead and sighs.

"Why?" He asks, and you breathe deep.

"Because.. even if they started it.. I know how it feels, and I never want anyone to go through that."

It wasn’t exactly what he expected when he said he’d do anything for your trust, but he'd still do it for your sake. Although he might not agree with the choice, he can understand the need to have peace in your mind.

“Promise.” Your tone is firm and you’re pointing at him with your pinky. “Promise you’ll do it and be nice." You don’t even know why you expect him to agree and follow through, but you oddly trusted him.

The idea of apologizing to those girls of all people makes him grumble under his breath. He presses his pinky into yours and locks it, his voice filled with reluctance, “Yeah, I promise.” 

“Good.” You nod, and when it gets silent again you clear your throat. "So.. do you want to stay for dinner?"

He gently laughs and shoves back the idea of what he'd have to do later.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He smiles genuinely and you nod.

Dinner is only awkward for a few seconds until your mother begins speaking to Atsumu. They laugh amongst each other and a small tug pries your lips.

The conversation stops as the front door opens and closes. Your father walks in and your mother claps her hands in excitement. He makes eye contact with Atsumu and they greet one another very politely. You’re suddenly anxious as your dad takes a seat beside you. He has a firm expression and presence, but it eases into pleasantness as holds his hand out to Atsumu.

“Atsumu right? I heard a lot about you, nice to meet you.” Atsumu shakes his hand and glimpses your way.

“Heard a lot about me?”

You know what he’s thinking and you turn a small shade of pink, glaring at your mom whose stifling a laugh. Your dad joins in the laughter, even Atsumu, and you’re beet red. You aren’t the one always talking about him.  

“We’re just teasing (Y/n).” Your mom waves and you huff, forcing more food into your mouth. 

“So tell me Atsumu, what’s your favorite food?” Your mom asks for no particular reason and you cough. 

“Anything you make for (Y/n) is enough to keep me happy.” He responds pleasantly and your mom presses a hand to her chest. 

“What a charmer.”

You're planning on rolling your eyes when you look at him. But you're surprised the way he seems so genuine. Most cases he is confident and smug, but the way he grins so happily right now shows you that you're wrong.

You avert from the scene and you can see him gazing at you longingly in your peripheral. Your cheeks dust pink.

The room gradually cascades with laughter, and your stomach flutters whenever he makes your parents laugh. 

When it’s time for him to go, he politely thanks them for the meal and says his farewell. They let you walk him out. He steps outside and you’re fidgeting a little with your fingers. “Um so.. I’ll see you..” 

He beams and rotates. “Yeah. Cya (Y/n)”  

“Don’t forget the promise!!” You call out and even if it makes him sigh, he answers “I won’t.” 

You close the door, walk to your room, and lay in the bed. Gazing at the ceiling you think of the scene that just transpired. Shoving your face into the pillow, a loud squeal escapes, and your legs dangle like a schoolgirl. 

You did it. You actually fell for the jerk Miya Atsumu. 

When it's Monday, you're nervous yet excited to finally get the peace you so crave and to prove to your heart that he is a good person.

He's dreading when he glances to Kiyoko. She’s visibly scared in her seat as he approaches her. "Hey." He starts, a little too aggressively right off the bat. You clear your throat, signaling him to be aware.

Exhaling a sigh, he presses his hand behind his neck. "Come on, you guys too." They all stand and jitter nervously, and you tail behind them.

They look like kicked puppies, and in a way it almost makes you feel pitiful.

He walks to the same terrible corridor you had frequented for those dreadful days. You remember the way they would dump food on you and kick you, yet even if it slightly hurt to witness what you're forcing him to do when.. you know it'll be worth it in the end. Finally he stops, and you do the same. Atsumu shuffles uncomfortably, like unsure he was going to get this far. They look freaked out and tense as planks while waiting.

He grits his teeth and sucks in every little bit of pride he has. "I'm sorry." Everyone blanks at the tone. It was a bit forced, but you suppose it had to do.

They're confused, unsure if this was some trick before you appear at his side and elbow him lightly. He's peering at you with a look that says “I have to say more?"

Grumbling and huffing, he continues, “sorry for treating you the way I did. I won’t do it again.” The apology comes out so eerily even they cringe. That was harder to force out than anything he’s said in his life, and that said a lot.

His eyes zone in on Kyoko mainly. She's bewildered and you wriggle awkwardly. The tension is worse than when you were forced to work with him on the project the first day. It's quiet and you touch his arm, forcing him to look at you with a certain gaze. You signal for him to leave them alone.

"Lets go."

He exhales a sigh, and his hand presses against your shoulder. Even in this weird scene you're blushing at the action. The girls are staring at you like deers in headlights, their mouths agape, slack jawed and stuck. The struggle to not send them a threat shooting down their spines had him walking away a lot faster than you would've thought and he's gone before you know it.

You awkwardly walk pass the group whose heads follow you like dolls. "Atsumu!" You call out, sprinting and panting down the halls.

He's grumbling to himself, speaking nonsensically and because of the height difference, his steps are like twice of yours. "Wait up!" He finally pauses, and turns to you surprised when he sees you holding your hands to your knees, exhausted.

He wants to be annoyed at you, but its hard to frankly, and when you're done heaving, you press your hand to him. He twitches a little and you look to him with wide twinkling orbs. "Thank you for doing that."

He blinks at you and pulls back nervously, a stammer in his chest. "Y-Yea.. no problem."

Suddenly every bit of him is glad it worked out this way.

As the days pass, you've been gradually getting more comfortable with him. You've been exchanging bentos, teasing another, sharing advice about volleyball(mainly on his side), and walking each other to practice. And Kiyoko wasn't sending you glares that much anymore which was nice.

You’re packing up your things as slowly as usual, and Sumu is stretching, complaining. “We’re gonna be late for practicee (Y/n).”

 “Then goo.” 

Atsumu huffs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. You catch a side glance of Kiyoko who is still in class, feigning patience as she anxiously looks towards you and back. It could just be your imagination, but it looks like she might want to say something.

You angle your head toward her subtlety and he understands, fixating on the sight. She jolts at just the glimpse and is finding things to touch and direct her attention to. He gives you an annoyed look and you shoo him away.

If it wasn’t for appeasing you on this promise, he probably would be giving her hell right now you're sure. You pat him on the shoulder, practically begging with your eyes, and he nearly rolls his. Exhaling in defeat he points to the door.

“I’ll be outside.”

It’s a weird tension when he’s gone. You should've been timid and scared but you're not. Perhaps it’s because of Mr. fussy outside, or maybe because you just feel better about the situation and you're ready to hear what she has to say.

She walks to you very slowly and keeps her lips separated as she thinks. “So… um..” 

“I did a lot of bad things to you..” She’s biting her lip and she speaks vaguely, either too ashamed or hesitant to confront you. You purse your lips when it gets silent, beginning to writhe at the heaviness.

“Your mom’s cooking really wasn’t that bad, I just.. wanted to be mean.. among other things..” She trails her words like there's more. Her voice gets real low, but you hear it, and she says "Sorry.."

It's a small pause before she continues, “I’d.. um.. probably be getting the same treatment.. if.. um..” she’s clearly struggling to elaborate, for fear perhaps it’d be too pitiful or embarrassing.

Her voice gets lower and she’s fixated on the corner of the room. 

“I appreciate it.. Thanks..” 

You awkwardly respond with a nod.

She mimics that motion, then grabs her things and timidly sprints off. Surely she met Atsumu on the way out, and hopefully, nothing is said between the two. A small contempt smile is on your face. You're happy.

Before you can even finish walking out the door hands instantly meet your shoulders. You’re abruptly whirled around to meet Atsumu who is filled with concern. 

“Did she do anything?” His hands touch your chin, moving it directly yet gently to the left, then to the right, up, and down. He's carefully examining the way your strands are positioned to see if it differed from when he left, if there's a crinkle in your clothes, if your skin is touched, anything he could possibly notice. 

You playfully slap his fingers away. “I’m fine Sumu, nothing happened. We just talked.” 

His eyes raise, and he doesn't look like he believes you. “You just talked?” You nod shyly.  

“About what?” He’s trying to hide the small irritation in his voice but you can tell it’s just slightly there. You supposed it was reasonable though. 

You want to tell him, but for the sake of her privacy (and pride mainly) you say “… Girl things.” 

He still doesn’t seem to believe you but he hums anyway. “Nothin' bad?” You hold your pinky out to him. 

“Promise.” 

You two would then stroll to the gymnasiums, and Lucy would greet the both of you before you'd separate and begin conversing. Then when practice would finish you found that you had been bolting out the door much faster than anyone and shouting, “Bye! See you tomorrow!” 

You'd rush to meet with the twins who usually were just beginning to walk out. Atsumu would grin at you, and you’d blush as you talk to him, pushing stray hair behind your ear. He walked you home like usual, sometimes even greeting your mother who will try to (always) invite him to dinner.

He might make some excuse and say he’s busy, or.. secretly your favorite, when he decides to stay and sometimes even hang out with you in your room to do homework together. But nothing else came of it, just homework. You enjoyed the time together when he and you would sit very close, quietly writing, reveling in the peace. 

Luckily today was one of those days. 

Atsumu likes concentration, he is oddly very silent and focused when he works. The only time he would get a little annoyed is when there were unnecessary sounds, like pens clicking too much or chatter. You understood that, so it’s easy for you two to work together.

Yet even when you two are starting at the same time, he manages to do it very quickly once he gets himself in the moment. This skill he had made it so that he was always done first, and from there he would typically head off since it’d always be like 8 or so. That always made your heart drop a little. 

This time though, he sits on your bed and yawns. You blink at him confused, and he gestures you over. “Let’s watch a movie.” Your heart thumps at the idea, but you remember there's still work sitting on your desk. 

“I still have a bit more to do..”  

“It’s Friday, I’m confident you can get it done before Monday.” He teases and you avert your attention to the worksheets left. It wasn’t that much, that’s true. You could just do it tomorrow. 

He’s a bit more gentle with his tone when he speaks. “I’ll make it up to you if you don’t get it done, promise.” 

“Okay..” 

You sit near him but not too near. You're unsure if he wants you close in this case. You never actually sat next to him without being in chairs. It was kind of strange.

Your stomach is blooming with nervous butterflies again, and your heart is racing at the idea of just being on the bed with him. Atsumu grabs the remote and pulls you out of your daze. 

“Any picks?” 

“Um... maybe a comedy?” He’s a little taken aback by that choice but then shrugs, a casual smirk returning. 

“Comedy it is.” 

He picks a random movie, and settles into his spot comfortably. On the other hand, you’re tense in yours, and perhaps a foot or so away from him.

“What are you so nervous lookin' about?" Sumu nudges.

“You’re not gonna bite me?” You joke, and he laughs, easing your anxiety quickly. You make an excuse to shuffle a little closer to him as you move into “comfort” as well. 

“Unless you want me to. No," he says jokingly. You quiet, a blush forming. Just like how you sit beside another in the chairs, your knee is nearly touching his, but without a sort of barrier.. this feels almost closer. 

The movie starts and you side-eye him, watching as his attention is on the TV. You look away and attempt to mimic. He does the same once you focus ahead, examining you for more than a few before averting. The movie is quick to make you both snicker in your seats. Still, for almost half an hour, you’re struggling to pay attention, you’re just so focused on how he feels next to you. Safe and.. warm. 

He leans in a little closer. You fail to notice and yawn. He blinks down at you, moving back. “Tired?” 

You mumble “A little bit.” 

“Want me to pause it for now?” He waits for your answer and your lips purse. If you say yes he might leave, you can’t waste this moment on tiredness. He’s right, it’s Saturday tomorrow, you can relax all you want then. 

“(Y/n).” He calls and you’re still lost in thought. 

Suddenly his fingers gently turn your chin, and when you blink back to reality, he’s very close to you. He’s so pretty too.

After a second or two you instantly pull back. “Oh, sorry, yes… you can do that.” He nods and pauses it. For some reason, his expression is a little defeated, but you're not sure why. He stands up and you know where this is going.

“It’s getting late, so.. time for me to go home.” He fakes a stretch and you nod. 

“I’ll walk you out.” 

Before he leaves you call out to him. “Hey..”

“Let’s finish that movie okay?” 

He smiles at that. 

Over the next few weeks, the same still repeated. You hung out a little more, but it was nothing too different, just small closeness and intimate lunch moments for 30 minutes. Though lately you find yourself confused and saddened when he refuses to come in. He’s politely said no to your mother nearly all of the time now. 

“Does he like me, Mom? What do you think? Why won’t he come in?” You anxiously groan, pressing your hands to your face at the 20th imaginary scenario that plays. 

“I’m sure he does sweetie, I just think he needs some time to think about it.” She’s washing the dishes while you groan. 

“Think about if he likes me? If he has to think about it, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t?” 

“No, that doesn’t mean that.” 

“Then what does it mean?” 

She sighs a little. 

Before you were always quiet about the details, embarrassed even, but now you are so frustrated and scared you just won’t stop talking. 

Did you do something wrong? No, you still ate lunch together most of the day. He still walked with you after volleyball, (even if occasionally he’s been making more excuses). So what was it? 

Atsumu was more than a little disappointed after that day at your house. He finally made a move, and you were not the slightest bit interested. After all that time together he thought maybe you’d reciprocate, at least a tiny bit. You might’ve still thought of him as a bully which was a sucky thought, even if fair. 

He loses focus in practice today, setting a little too high, a little too low, serving into the net, and sometimes missing completely. That was completely new for him, and he had to say, it blew more than he thought. 

“Hey,” Osamu points at him. "You set way too high there this time. One more mess up and you owe me."

Atsumu groans loudly.

“Why are you so mopey lately?” Michinari asks.

“He thinks he blew it with his crush,” Osamu answers and his twin nearly kicks him in his side. Shinsuke walks behind them, and the aura alone is enough to make them stop fighting. 

Hitoshi gasps as if Atsumu being in love is so uncharacteristic. “You have a crush?!” 

Rintaro rolls his eyes. “Just talk to her.” 

Aran pats the setter’s shoulder. “Just proclaim your love man, it’s a whole lot better than overthinking.” 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Shinsuke asks, completely oblivious. “If she doesn’t like you, then it just means you can move on and not have to worry about it anymore.” Although painfully realistic, it strikes something in Atsumu.

His expression shifts and he nods firmly. If you declare you don’t like him, then the ache in his chest will move on and he won’t have to deal with this anxiety anymore. 

This was it then, this was going to be the day he asked you. 

Practice runs a little later than usual and he makes sure to run out as fast as possible to see you walking kind of mopey. “Hey, (Y/n)!” Atsumu calls to you, making you rotate. 

Your eyes instantly lighten, and you grin. “Sumu!” 

He returns the smile. “Practice good?” He asks. 

“It was good! It was good. I’d say I can teach you some things now.” You lightly jab, poking him.

He scoffs, “Once you finally receive my serve, I’ll think about it.”

His hand mockingly pats your head to measure the height difference, and you pout, face a little pink. The rest of the walk is filled with both of you play-fighting with each other and teasing until you reach your house. 

You’re silent, shuffling as to delay the inevitable.

“So.. do you want to come in..?” You ask, a hopeful trail at the end of your word. You’re sure he’s going to say no. 

“Yup, I can do that today.” 

“That’s o- wait-“ you gasp, “really?!” 

He smiles, enamored at your excitement. 

“I’m free all night.” 

Butterflies are shooting, and you’re secretly hopping as you open the door.

“Welcome ho- oh! Atsumu! It’s been so long, how are you?” Your mother greets. 

“Evening miss (L/n), just been busy is all.” Atsumu is politely smiling and you dazzle.  

“It happens. Dinner isn’t ready, so you guys can do your work and I’ll call you after.”  

You nod, and he does the same before you bolt off to your room. 

His heart is probably stammering faster than yours now.

“Want to finish that movie?” You ask gleefully. 

He chuckles and answers, "really? No workin' today?"

Seeing it as a rejection, you can’t help but slump in defeat, instantaneously frowning. The scene breaks his heart a little and he rushes to respond with better words before you cut him off.

“No- we can, I just thought- maybe- well.. yeah- never mind. After though?” You’re staring at him with big eyes, and he is smiling sweetly again.

“Unless you have to go after, which is fine, that’s okay.” He shuts you up by placing his hand on your arm, and you blink up at him through your lashes so prettily it makes him hold his breath. 

“Yes, that’s fine.” 

Quickly nodding, you impatiently sit down at your desk and gesture for him to do the same. 

“Listen (Y/n)..” Atsumu has a tone in his voice that sounds serious, maybe scared, and you turn, pursing your lips. A sudden nervousness washes over you. 

“Yeah..?” 

When he sees your sad expression he zips his lips. “Nothing, never mind.” 

“Okay..” you say, unconvinced. He takes a seat next to you, and a blush dusts your cheeks. You really miss this.

Eventually, it becomes comfortable again, and you're pointing to your phrases and looking to him for advice. Truthfully it was sort of an excuse to keep talking to him before he might leave in a few. "Is this good?" You ask.

"Yup." He'd say, and then purposely you'll talk about grammar or other subjects to get him going. But today he wasn't really responsive, he looked tense and felt strange. He was fidgeting, which is never much his thing, and half the time he wasn't working. When you turn to him, his eyes are always lost in thought, contemplating blankly while his pen is unmoving.

You'd occasionally ask, "Are.. you okay Sumu..?"

"Hm? Oh, yea, I'm good." He'd shake himself out of the strange fixation and get back to work like nothing happened.

Your heart falls a little. Maybe he just doesn't want to hang out with you.

"Um.. listen.. (Y/n)." He finally turns to you after a long hour of silence. His tone is more serious again, and you're terrified he's going to say what you hope to not be true. You wait for him to talk, but your patience is thinning as he opens his mouth, closes it, opens, and closes, and you spit out, "Do you want to leave?"

"Wha- no no, it's um.." He clears his throat and he presses his hands together.

"I.. like you (Y/n)."

It takes a second or two before the words sink in, and you're frozen. What?

As in platonic right? Or..

He’s desperately searching for your reaction, waiting to see either reciprocation or disgust. Your mind is rushing for what to think but it's empty. His stomach starts to drop when he doesn’t receive a reply, and he assumes that means denial. His body sinks and the disappointment is clear in his face. 

The silence is disturbed by a shaky inhale. You ask, “What… do you mean?”

Atsumu opens his mouth to speak but keeps it slightly agape, his gaze glued to you. 

“Like.. love, (Y/n). I love you.” 

He's aching to see any clear expression again and your eyes widen in surprise. You feel weightless, there's an explosion in your head and you're unable to think.

"I.." he's holding his breath as you sputter nervously.

"I um.." he's nodding, biting his lower lip and waiting impatiently.

"I.. love you too.."

He's now mimicking your past emotions, and it goes quiet.

You start, "So.. does that mean..um.." you're mumbling now, too anxious to finish the question.

"You'll be my girlfriend?" He asks, and you twinkle up at him. His eyes look so vibrant even in the dim lighting, and his hair falls a little at his face. You move to shyly brush it back, pushing closer to him.

He takes this as a move, and suddenly his lips are pressed into yours. You're frozen for a moment but ease into it quickly. It's like fireworks went off in your brain, and you answer a breathless "Yes," as he pulls away.

“I’m glad..” Atsumu finally lets out a small laugh, and you share in it, your face a fuming pink.

"Do you.. want to finish that movie now?" You shyly ask, and he nods, grinning.

Your bodies are huddled close to each other, his arm wrapped around you. You're leaning into the warmth as the light from the TV flickers. A lingering smile is shared and you turn to him. Your eyes meet and you're already instinctively moving. A kiss is shared again, this time longer and deeper. Your breath hitches when it ends, but you're smiling, and so is he. Hearts softly thumping against one another.

This is finally the peace you wanted.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 55

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 7k

Masterlist

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Wednesday, February 17; 9:15 AM - Ski Resort

I still find it hard to believe what we're about to do today. The days are passing, and we're already halfway through our trip. Me, a sun-loving girl who's only ever been to beaches, is now discovering a ski resort for the first time. Ever since I heard the news, I've had a lump in my throat. I just can't wrap my head around it.

“Do you think I’ll be able to do it?” Mapi asks me, standing by my side.

I take a deep breath. Thankfully, in the worst scenarios, my best friend is always there to face things with me.

"It’s up to you to feel it. Are you still in a lot of pain?” I ask, referring to her leg.

“It depends on the day... I hope it’ll be okay.”

“Have you talked to Ingrid about it?”

“Yeah, we had a chance to talk. She knows I don’t like to bring it up, but she knows what happened.”

“Then you don’t need to worry. I’m sure she’ll be careful.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” I say with a smile. “From what I’ve seen these past few days, she seems attentive to you. I have no doubt she’ll know when to stop you if you push too hard.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

We laugh, fully aware that this is exactly what will happen. Mapi loves challenges, and once she’s conquered them, she tends to not want to stop. I understand her fear, though. Skiing puts a lot of strain on your legs. She’ll likely feel pain at some point, even with the effective treatment she’s been on for years. Skiing... Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I’m not at all comfortable with this idea, especially after our last two nights. The waitress Aitana flirted with invited us to some private parties. The first one was quite wild for some, and we got back late. We didn’t want to do much the next day. Most of us stayed at the hotel to relax, while the two other couples and I preferred to head back into town. We went out again last night, but it was much more low-key. The girls didn’t want to waste another day doing nothing. They had used their day at the hotel to look into things to do. The ski resort was their top recommendation. When they suggested it to us, I was the only one not very enthusiastic. I tend to enjoy walking in the snow in different ways, but I realize that’s not everyone’s preference. The girls were starting to lose patience and really wanted to do something more dynamic. This activity was definitely a lot more energetic than the previous ones. The weather was on our side, with the snow having stopped today, so it was the perfect time to plan sledding and skiing. The last time I was in a place like this, I must have been six years old. My mom wasn’t a fan of mountain vacations, being someone who had always lived in the sun. We went once thanks to my dad, who granted my wish. Those were the most memorable holidays for me because it was the first time I ever went sledding. However, I never skied, and the same goes for Mapi, who, unlike me, is seeing snow for the first time after her first visit to Manchester. We were supposed to go sledding this morning, but because of our little handicap, our girlfriends, who are currently ahead of us, decided to change the plan for the four of us. Since Mapi hadn’t changed her behavior, I thought it was a good opportunity for just the two of us. I needed to talk to her. I could sense something was bothering her, and I didn’t like it. I tried sending Alexia in my place, but she couldn’t get much out of her. Either Mapi didn’t understand her intention, or I was really imagining things, which I doubt.

“So, can I ask you a question?” she starts again. “But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?”

“Why would I take it the wrong way?”

“It’s about Lucy.”

The mention catches me off guard. Is she trying to talk about it? The timing couldn’t be better. At least we can clear the air before today’s activities because we both know there’s some tension.

“I’m listening.”

“Promise me you won’t take it the wrong way?” she insists.

“Mapi, we’ve always told each other everything up until now. Why would you be afraid of my reaction?”

She sighs, letting her shoulders relax. Her behavior towards me over the past two days remains a mystery. The way she kept pulling me away from Lucy left me puzzled and annoyed. I started wondering if she had a problem with her, and now I’m starting to believe it more and more. I hope it’s nothing serious. I don’t particularly want them to stop talking, or worse, have to choose between the two.

“So why didn’t you come talk to me yourself? You sent Alexia, didn’t you? I’m not that clueless.”

I bite my lip, caught off guard. Alexia had warned me that it would be better if I went myself, but I didn’t listen. Now, I’m already regretting that bad decision.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, you’re right.”

“So, you really sent her?”

“I could tell you were on edge. I was afraid it would get worse if I came first.”

We look at each other for a moment, then laugh together. We both feel a bit silly, I think. There’s good reason for it. We’ve never been afraid to tell each other things. That’s what I’ve always loved about Mapi. Even if we knew it wouldn’t please the other, we’ve always been honest.

“Sorry, I was really nervous about bringing it up.”

“You didn’t need to be,” I sigh. “So... it’s about Lucy, right?”

“Yeah, um...” she starts, suddenly feeling awkward. “I don’t really know how to say this. First, does she still hold a grudge against me?”

“What?” I frown. “No! Why would she have something against you?”

I look at my girlfriend who’s ahead of us with Ingrid. We’ve slowed down our walk since we started talking, creating a bigger gap than before. They’re both in an animated conversation, laughing from time to time. I think about all the ways Lucy could have made her think that, but nothing comes to mind. She did give her a bit of a hard look the day she pulled me away from her during the walk, but that passed quickly when she found it amusing that I was angrier than she was. Anyway, since we’ve been together, it’s different. She no longer sees Mapi as a threat, but simply as someone very important to me.

“Well, I don’t know... I felt like she was giving me dirty looks last time. Sorry, I might be imagining things.”

“Lucy has no problem with you, I assure you. She really likes you and knows what you mean to me. If it were otherwise, she would have told me, and I would have fixed things.”

“Okay...” she murmurs. “You love her, don’t you? I’ve never seen you so attached to someone like her.”

I breathe softly. Oh yes, I love her, and I spend all my time glued to her. I was never that person before, but she made me this way. In none of my previous relationships did I seek physical contact as I do now.

“Does it bother you?”

She looks at me for a moment. I can see the internal struggle she’s having. She doesn’t know how to respond, and it’s all the more unsettling. I give her a friendly nudge.

“Come on, spill it. We’re talking about it for a reason, after all.”

“I was very surprised,” she begins. “I think your Valentine’s Day made me jealous. Not romantically. Ingrid is wonderful to me, and I appreciate her more and more each day,” she quickly justifies. “But in terms of us, our relationship, our friendship...”

Now that she says it, it’s true that after I shared everything we did, her behavior changed. I frown at this realization. Without saying anything, she continues.

“I never knew how to give you the same things she does. Just look at the day you spent together. It’s obvious she thought of you first in her plans. I’ve never been able to do that for you. Not even for a day.”

“Mapi—”

“I know our relationship is different from yours. It was powerful in another way, and it was during another period. We were younger and a bit more carefree. But what she’s done with you in just a few months is just... impressive. She’s transformed you, and I feel lousy for not being able to give you the same support and help you grow like she has.”

Regret, remorse. That’s all I hear in her words, and now it’s my turn to feel bad. How did she get to the point of feeling so worthless? She doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped me. Her return after Feli sparked a lot of progress that she doesn’t seem to have noticed. I release my lip from between my teeth and reply without thinking.

“You have nothing to blame yourself for. You’re the one who gave me the most support before I joined this school. You did the hardest part by getting me out of my room.”

I smile just remembering it. She had to drag me, but she did it, and she stayed with me the whole time. It was her, and no one else, who accomplished that feat.

"I have to admit, being away from my problems was the best idea my mom ever had. You’ve never set foot in my school, but we all have our problems, often similar, sometimes completely different."

Korbin's situation comes to mind. She just never had the chance to grow up in a stable environment, which led to her circumstances. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

"I'm not saying you can't understand, but they teach us to open up, to trust each other. Like with Alexia, you know? We’ve confided in each other about our issues. Plus, we're also guided. Especially by Lucy, in my case, but not just her. It’s a collective thing, you see? It's not just Lucy who helped me evolve, as you said."

"And in all this, what happens to me?"

"What do you mean, what happens to you?" I teased. "You’re still my best friend, no matter what. Nothing will change that. Neither new friendships nor our new relationships. We’re still us."

"Good, I’m relieved," she said, clearly feeling better. "Because I’ve applied for a transfer for next year."

"Really?" I said, excited.

She had mentioned wanting to follow me, but hadn’t said what she was planning. Knowing she’ll be here next year makes me really happy. Even though the school keeps me busy, I miss her a lot.

"Of course! You’re not getting rid of me that easily," she giggled. "My teacher said there shouldn’t be any problem. The school in Manchester has a better reputation, but with my good grades, I should get accepted. He even said it would be better for me."

"That’s awesome!"

I hugged her tightly. She doesn’t have an official response yet, but I’m confident it will work out. Mapi is a very diligent student, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. After all, she’s doing what she loves.

"I’m really happy, honestly."

"Can I confess something else while we’re at it?" she asked, pulling away from my embrace. "But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?"

"What now?" I asked, holding back a small laugh.

"I used to wonder if Lucy would be enough for you," she admitted, making me frown. "That was before you were together. I thought she was too calm and too sensible. Not to mention she didn’t seem to enjoy parties. You just have to see how she reacted to last night’s party agai—"

"She wasn’t feeling well yesterday," I defended her immediately. "She had a migraine, and the party wasn’t the best for her, but she still wanted to come."

"Whatever," she said, waving her hand as if it didn’t matter. "That’s not the point, it was just an example. I thought she’d be boring for you in the long run. I talked about it with Ingrid before you were together, and she got mad, saying I didn’t know Lucy. And I have to admit, she was right."

Her last sentence brought me instant relief. I was already worried she might say she no longer saw me with Lucy, which would have been strange since she’s the one who kind of pushed us together.

"So, you’ve changed your mind?" I asked hesitantly, making her shrug.

"I have to admit she knows how to handle you," she replied with a small smile that made me laugh. "That’s all that matters, and if you’re happy with her, that’s what’s important."

"I am. She’s really sweet and adorable. I didn’t expect that either."

"Oh, really?" she said, surprised.

"Well, yeah… She’s always been caring towards me, but I found her so closed off before that I didn’t know what to expect if she ever opened up."

"I see… So how is it?"

"It’s really great. She’s confided in me little by little, but now, she’s so open that I can see her expressions, you know? That wasn’t the case before."

"Hmm, hmm," she smiled. "Are you sure it’s not you who finally opened your eyes to how she feels?"

"Of course not," I replied, gently hitting her arm, making her laugh.

"I’m telling you, Ona. She was already smitten the first time I saw her interact with you. I even told Lucy. You were just too oblivious to notice."

I blushed just thinking about it. We really were blind, according to our friends.

"Maybe you’re right… We’re together now," I said pensively. "You know, I wanted to use this vacation to get closer to her. I was really scared of my reactions when starting a new relationship," I confessed to her.

"You haven’t slept together yet, have you?"

"No," I grimaced. "Do you think Lucy will be patient with that? I’m worried."

"Yeah, don’t worry. Knowing her, she has the patience of a saint. If she needs it, I bet she’ll let you know."

"If you say so… Anyway, don’t scare me like that again. I really need your positive opinion, and you know that, right?"

"I know, yeah," she smiled. "And you have it. She even managed to make me jealous, and that’s saying something."

I chuckled, shaking my head. At least she’s not afraid to admit it. Others would have denied it. Not her, and I love that about her.

"And you, with Ingrid?" I changed the subject.

"She’s great, really," she answered instantly, clearly expecting the question. "Much better than Ana. She’s cool, we laugh a lot, and she’s laid back. Oh, and also, in bed, she’s pretty good."

"Oh, Maps, please, spare me the details."

"What? You don’t want to know?"

"No, thanks," I grimaced.

"Are you sure?"

She laughed, fully aware that this is one of the few topics we can’t discuss. I’m not prudish, but I’d rather not know what my ex does with her new girlfriends. Talking about it makes me feel like we’re back in the past, and I’d rather avoid that. After this little laugh, we both sighed softly. We really needed this conversation to clear the air.

"Looks like our wild nights are over now."

"Seems like it, yeah," I chuckled.

"I think I’m a bit scared of this new change, you know, becoming an adult, having responsibilities. Ingrid even says I often act like a child," she laughed, making me smile.

I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, accepting my embrace.

"We’ll do it together, don’t worry. Never one without the other."

She nodded and kissed my cheek afterward, making me smile. All she needed was reassurance. I regret letting things get to the point where she felt neglected and unheard. I’ll have to figure out how to balance things better in the future. I’ve already hurt her enough in the past, I don’t need to add anything else.

"I guess I owe Lucy an apology now."

"Oh, it’s not necessary."

"It is. Knowing you, you’ll tell her everything, so I might as well do it myself," she replied.

I laughed because she’s so right. I can’t hide anything from Lucy. Especially since she’s been glancing over at us, and I imagine she’ll have questions for me.

"And I’ll have to thank her too," Mapi said, drawing my attention back to her.

"For what?"

"Thanks to you two, I met Ingrid," she answered with a small smile. "We exchanged numbers to talk about you mainly, but we hit it off so well that we got closer. So, thank you too."

"It’s my pleasure if we helped you. Your happiness is important to me, you know that. Now that everything’s clear, how about a hug?"

"Damn right, I’ve been waiting for that."

I laughed as I barely had time to catch her in my arms for a tight embrace. I missed her touch. Mapi will always be the first person who helped me out of that dark place. She’s indispensable to me, and she should know that. I closed my eyes, savoring this moment that I had missed. It’s different from being with Lucy, but just as familiar.

"Come on, we should catch up with them before they start wondering where we are."

Now that she mentioned it, I realized we couldn’t see our girlfriends anymore. Instead, a small wooden cabin stood before us. I easily guessed it was the chalet where we were supposed to pick up our gear, thanks to the sign. I nodded and let her go in first. Our girlfriends were in line, so we joined them.

- "Well, what took you so long, girls?" Ingrid asked as we approached.

- "Sorry, we were just talking," Mapi explained as she pulled away from me to enjoy a hug from her girlfriend.

I nestled into Lucy's embrace, just as Mapi did with Ingrid. Lucy's expression was full of curiosity after I stole a kiss. I snuggled into her neck and whispered:

- "I'll explain later."

My answer seemed to satisfy her because she hugged me tightly and kissed my temple. I smiled as I watched the other couple interact. It was clear who was in charge between them, and it was a bit surprising. Normally, Mapi was the one who took control, but not in Ingrid's arms, it seemed. Given Ingrid's playful nature, I hadn’t expected her to take on that role.

- "When will you tell me?"

I turned my attention back to Lucy. It was only then that I noticed her impatience, which made me smile.

- "Be patient. You'll know everything tonight, I promise."

- "Hmm... Okay," she said, pouting adorably, which made me smile.

It was funny how eager she was to know. Since I’d become better at reading her expressions, I’d discovered many traits I hadn’t known about before. Curiosity was one of them. I admired her so much for being able to hide it and not bombard me with questions. That's probably what I would have done in her place, but she knew that would have made me run. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. With these thoughts in mind, I stood on my tiptoes to kiss her again, hoping it would satisfy her for now. I could tell she was frustrated about not knowing our conversation, but I didn’t want to discuss it in front of the girls. It seemed my idea worked because she returned my kiss with a hidden smile.

- "It’s our turn," Ingrid pointed out.

We noticed she was right as we turned to the counter.

- "Can you help me pick out my equipment?" I asked Lucy. "I don’t really know what I’m doing."

- "Of course."

We walked forward with her hand resting on my waist. The receptionist handed us our gear based on Lucy’s instructions. I didn’t know anything about this, so I trusted her judgment.

- "Can’t we snowboard instead of skiing?" I asked when I saw a snowboard nearby.

- "Learn to ski first, will you?" she chuckled. "Snowboarding is much harder."

- "Really? But it’s just one board under your feet."

- "Exactly," she laughed. "It’s much harder to balance and stay on your feet. We’ll try it someday when you’ve mastered skiing."

- "So that means we’ll come back?"

- "We’ll go wherever you want, whenever you want, and as many times as you want, sweetheart."

I bit my lip at how affectionate she was becoming day by day. She had never been this sweet with me before. The tough, relentless Lucy was long gone, and I couldn’t even say which version I preferred now. I felt more and more important in her eyes, and that’s all I ever wanted.

- "Come on, let’s get going," she pulled me out of my daydream.

We thanked the man for his service, and the four of us headed outside with our equipment. We found a bench where we could sit and put on our skis. Aside from my grumbling, it was a pretty quiet moment. Lucy had a teasing smile as she watched me struggle. I had just managed to put on the boots she had chosen for me. I was surprised that she had picked the right size without even asking.

- "You could help instead of just laughing at me."

- "Of course," she said, her smile widening. "Since you asked so nicely."

- "Hey!" I protested, pouting.

- "I’m kidding."

As if she’d been doing this her whole life, she effortlessly got up and crouched down in front of me. She started by tightening the straps on my boots, which apparently weren’t tight enough for her. Then she placed the skis flat on the ground, and I finally understood the system when she positioned the tip of my foot in front of the clips. She then asked me to press down with my heel, and I heard my boot click into the ski. I did the same with the other one. At first, the sensation of having something under my feet was very strange, especially when I tried to slide them back and forth. The real fun was about to start. We exchanged a smile, as if she was thinking the same thing as I was when she stood up. She pecked my lips and held out her hands.

- "Come on, princess. It’s time to stand up."

- "Oh my God," I murmured as I wobbled the moment she pulled me to my feet.

The feeling was very weird. I probably would have slipped if Lucy hadn’t been holding me in her strong arms. She chuckled, gently pulling me closer. I regretted having such a bulky jacket on because I couldn’t feel her touch on my skin.

- "Okay... So what now?"

- "I’m going to let go and grab your poles."

- "And if I fall?"

- "You won’t fall," she laughed.

To make sure of it, she kept one arm around my waist as she moved to grab our poles. Once she had them, she let go of me and stood beside me. I glanced over at the girls who were watching us.

- "Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "And now?"

- "Now we move forward."

I blinked as I saw Mapi following Ingrid. It was like she had been doing this forever. I parted my lips and looked at Lucy, who was laughing at me.

- "H-how did she do that?"

Lucy burst into laughter, which annoyed me. I had a feeling I’d be the last one today, and I hated that.

- "It’s not hard. It’s like walking. Just take small steps. It’ll help you get used to the skis and work on your balance. Then we’ll start sliding."

- "I’m suddenly not feeling so confident..."

- "Hey, it’ll be okay, alright? There will be falls and probably a lot of bruises tonight, but you’ll be fine. I’ll help you, and I won’t let you leave until you’ve made at least one descent."

- "Oh my God..." I muttered. "And what if I’m sore tonight?"

- "I have a little solution for that... But it’ll be up to you to decide when the time comes."

- "When you say things like that, it’s usually something I won’t like..."

- "Who knows... You’ll tell me tonight."

Wednesday, February 17th, 8:30 PM - Hotel Room.

All day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lucy’s suggestion would be. I turned it over in my mind a thousand times, hoping that in the end, it would be the jacuzzi we’d go to. As I had predicted, all my muscles were sore from this simultaneously disastrous and rewarding day. If I learned anything today, it’s that I’m a walking disaster. Though that’s not new, I was really bad at skiing. Once again, Lucy showed incredible patience with me. Unlike me, Mapi picked it up quickly. She’s always been more athletic and daring than me, so it wasn’t surprising. Lucy didn’t mind that we stayed at the bottom of the slope all day, while the girls and the rest of our friends who joined us after lunch went up to do runs. I think Lucy was happy we could spend some time together, uninterrupted for once. When we got back, I expected her to announce her idea right away, but she wanted us to have dinner with our friends first. It made me feel confused and reluctant, knowing that the pool had a closing time and would probably be closed by the time we were done. I was slightly disappointed since I had been dreaming about it all day, but now that I’m facing her real proposal, I don’t know how to react. I agreed, of course, but that didn’t make me any less nervous.

- "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I’d understand if you didn’t, you know. We’ve only been together for two weeks, and then-"

- "Luce, I told you I wanted to do it. Are you sure you haven’t changed your mind?" I half-joked.

The panic in her eyes disappeared for a moment, replaced by tenderness.

- "I haven’t. It’s just that I don’t want you to be scared or think I’m rushing things."

"We’re in swimsuits. What am I supposed to be scared of? We’ve already been in the pool, in a jacuzzi, and even in a spa. It’s not a bubble bath we’re going to take in swimsuits that’s going to scare me. »

- It's smaller, more intimate, and... private.

- That's what makes it even more romantic, right? I want us to spend some time together, just the two of us. For once, we actually have the time.

She giggles as she turns off the water that had been running until now when he gets halfway to the bathtub. To be honest, I'm in total panic inside. I can't even explain why. Lucy is everything you could want in a girlfriend. She didn't run away when I told her that I had isolated myself from the world for half a year. On the contrary, she wanted to prove to me that I'm no longer alone. Maybe it's because I know that this situation will bring us to an even deeper stage in our relationship. I push the thought away and speak.

- You getting in first? I murmur.

She nods softly, stepping one foot at a time into the tub. My eyes don't leave her for a second as she sits at the back of the tub. I hesitate for a moment, but her reassuring smile tells me I have nothing to fear. She's the only person I've never been afraid of, at least not in the context of a relationship. Of course, I fear her when she's in a black rage, especially at me, but never otherwise. I return her smile and join her. Instead of leaning my back against hers, I decide to snuggle up against her side. My tension quickly evaporates as my sore muscles relax and Lucy runs a hand through my hair, wrapping her other arm around me. The water is boiling hot, but there's nothing better after this cold day. She kisses my forehead with a satisfied sigh.

- Here we are, in this bath.

I giggle, burying my head in her neck. She had been dreaming about this, and now I finally understand why.

- Have you been dreaming of this moment all day too?

- You could say that... Did you know I wanted to do this?

- No, not the bath, I admit. But now that we're here, it was a very good idea.

And I mean it. The steam rising from the bath creates a strange atmosphere in the room. From where I'm sitting, I can see the mirror, which fogged up in no time. When I look down at the bath, I'm glad to see that the bubbles cover my bruised body.

- Do you know why Mapi's been acting weird lately? I start the conversation with a hint of amusement in my voice.

I break the silence now that we're alone, in the calm. Lucy hums slightly at my question.

- So there was a reason?

- In a way, yes...

I lift my head to meet her eyes with furrowed brows. I smile, finding her adorable like this. She always makes that face when something bothers her or when she doesn't understand what's going on.

- Hmm... So... What was the reason?

- Lots of things... Jealousy, worry, doubts...

- In what way? she asks, skeptical. She thinks I wouldn't take good care of you?

- No, that's not it.

I smile in amusement, detecting impatience in her movements. She knows Mapi's opinion matters to me. Just to tease her a little longer, I reluctantly get up to straddle her. She removes her hands from me, placing them on the edge of the tub while watching me with confusion. I lose track of our conversation, mesmerized by the beauty in front of me. The setting really enhances Lucy. My fingers trace her exposed neck. She had pulled her hair into a messy bun right after our meal. She wanted to be comfortable. I appreciate seeing her so natural. I might not be the first to see her like this, but at least I'm the first among the students at Camp Wiegman. So, she's no longer the terrifying instructor everyone fears. She's just my girlfriend, who grants me the privilege of seeing her true self. Our evenings alone are my favorite moments so far, even though I've also enjoyed the parties. She seems almost innocent and harmless, which is far from the case at school. I almost dread the moment we have to go back. I don't know how she'll react, nor how I'll react. We'll resume our roles, and I won't be able to enjoy her company in her room as I'll have to return to mine. 

- What are you thinking about, looking at me so sadly?

My eyes, which were focused on her mouth where my fingers are now, rise to meet hers. Her excitement has faded into concern. I feel guilty for making her worry, just because my thoughts, which were positive before getting in the bath, suddenly veered to a darker side. It was stronger than me. The idea that we might not be able to live this normally anymore doesn't sit well with me. Especially not after the amazing week we've been having.

- Did I do something wrong? she asks, making me shake my head. Did Mapi say something she shouldn't have? she continues.

I shake my head again. Words fail me, preventing me from defending against things she might believe because of my silence. Unable to find the words, I lean in to kiss her. Hard. Though slightly hesitant, she kisses me back, her hands gently caressing my waist. I seek even more contact, but she stops me.

- Hey, hey, stop. I get that this environment can give ideas, but that's not the point of this evening.

Her words cool my ardor, and I blush, realizing what I've just done. How could I have gone so far with just one fleeting thought?

- S-sorry... I-I didn't mean to. I-I don't know what came over me.

- It's okay, really, she giggles. What were you thinking about to get carried away like that, hmm? You were looking at me with adoration before suddenly closing off.

- I'm afraid of not handling our return to school well.

Lucy arches an eyebrow in confusion. It's understandable. I'm jumping from one topic to another without any reason.

- Did Mapi mess with your head? she deduces, still unsure of what's going on.

- No! I quickly reply. Mapi just needed comfort. She was jealous that she couldn't comfort me the way you do.

- Oh. I didn't see that coming... I thought I was the problem.

- No. She just felt neglected. We've drifted apart because of the distance, but it'll be okay. And...

I pause for a moment, unsure if I should continue.

- And?

- Will you promise not to hold it against her? I ask, nervously biting my lip.

- Why would I hold it against her?

- Because I'm not sure you'll appreciate what she thought of you at first...

- Go on, she mumbles, her mood shifting.

I bite my lip again. I know I'm taking a risk, but I can't afford to stay silent. I promised myself to be honest with her.

- I think she still saw us as the teens we were, because she thought you were too calm and reasonable for me.

I watch her closely as I say all this. Her reaction is strange. It's as if she's suppressing her feelings again.

- If you say that's what she thinks, then I guess that's not how you feel?

Of course not. How many times do I have to tell you? You're everything I need, Lucy. Mapi understands that now. Especially after the Valentine's Day you planned for me. She's planning to apologize to you because she knows I would tell you. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I don't care about playing the reckless teenager anymore.

- OK... she murmurs. Thank you for being honest. I'll wait for Mapi's apology.

The tone of her voice isn't as cold as I expected. I understand that she doesn’t hold it against her. After all, she didn’t like her much at first either. If she says this, it's probably because she’ll use the opportunity to talk with her face-to-face.

- Thank you, I whispered at the thought. Thank you for everything.

- I love you.

My muscles relax at these simple words, which have become part of our daily routine. Lucy had promised to show me how much I mean to her, and for the past three days, that's all she’s done. I feel so loved, especially after struggling for so long to love myself.

- Say it again, please.

- I love you, my love.

This time, there’s a hint of amusement in her voice, but it doesn’t lessen the impact. She pulls me closer, returning us to our original position.

- Everything will be okay, alright? We'll figure things out. I’ll take care of us. But you, I want you to prioritize your future.

- You are my future, I murmured.

- I mean professionally, my love. I’ll take care of you like I promised, and I’ll handle our other relationships, like with Mapi if needed, but you have to focus on your studies first. Is that clear? Can you do that? It’s not that hard, right?

- No... It isn’t, as long as you’re by my side.

- I will be, no matter what. And how about we just enjoy our moment for once, hmm? You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.

- No, I don’t, but I understand why now. I wanted to thank you for being so patient with me. These past few days have been magical. I haven’t felt this at peace in someone’s arms in a long time.

- That’s all that matters then. That’s how I want you to feel with me. Not scared, or anxious, or lacking confidence, or uncomfortable... Just yourself.

- I am, I murmured. You’re the one who helped rebuild me. You’re probably the person I trust the most.

I take a deep breath at that thought. It’s frightening to depend so much on one person. But that’s my reality. I truly depend on Lucy. We both know that if she’s no longer in my life, I might spiral even worse than before. It happened once, and it wasn’t pretty. I could barely sleep at night or eat during meals, and it will happen again if she ever leaves me. I know that’s unlikely now, but even a one percent chance is terrifying.

- I don’t want to go back, I confided. You make me feel like I’m living a dream.

- I assure you, your dream is real, she teased. You’ll have to get used to living this peacefully.

- You have no idea how right you are, I murmured, snuggling even closer to her.

I close my eyes with a small, satisfied smile spreading across my lips. Yeah, I could easily get used to this new way of life.

- If Mapi kept us apart during our outings, it’s because she missed me, but also because she was seeking my attention out of fear that I’d leave her behind...

- I see, she sighed. There were other ways she could have shown it. Like, for example, talking to you about it.

- She knows she acted poorly, but my distance from her and my closeness to you affected her. She regrets it. In fact, we shouldn’t have involved everyone in this. I should’ve talked to her directly. I almost thought she had a fight with Ingrid.

- She didn’t, don’t worry. Ingrid mentioned it briefly at lunch, she reassured me.

A small sigh of relief escaped me. The last thing we need is for our little issues to affect their relationship.

- So, everything’s settled now? She’s going to leave us alone for the rest of the trip?

- I’ll make sure of it, I giggled.

- Good... So, back to you. Why do you understand how she feels?

- Because I’m afraid of our return to school...

- Babe, she sighed. We’ve already talked about this.

[i-write-things]

Obey Me! NB boys: Who would most willingly have kids

(Note: NONE of them would ever pressure you into having kids. I'm saying this now so I don't have to repeat it every time.)

1.Beelzebub:

Any surprise here? I can't remember where I saw it, but I do remember seeing somewhere he said he'd love to start a family. If you don't ask him about kids, he might ask you, first. He'd be a great dad, too. He'd be calm, supportive, and his kids would always be well fed and have plenty of exercise. They'd grow up big and strong like him! :) He'd also do that thing when they're little (and when theyre grown, too) where He'd use them as weights to lift up while he does push ups. He'd also carry them on his back everywhere. If it's a baby, he'd be a little tired of having to get up every night to calm their screams, but he'd get used to it because he makes himself a deal: he'll just get a snack every time the baby cries at night. Speaking of if it's a baby, he'd be afraid he'd crush it at first, and refuse to hold them. But once he finally holds them, he refuses to let any stranger hold them. His biggest fear is his child not being safe. Protective Beel! Oh, and they'd get a LOT of visits from uncle Belphie.

2.Mammon

Ok, here me out- he'd essentially be Bandit from Bluey (Dont ask). He'd make sure his kids are clever and he'd most certainly teach them to gamble from a young age, and how to cheat. He'd be very over protective, but also really fun. His worst nightmare is his kids growing up to hate him. He'll never admit it, but he stops cheating so much to earn money. While he wants his kids to grow up learning how to make quick cash, deep down, he just wants them to be good kids. So he also tries to set a good example and work for his money. All his brothers are shocked, and they'll tease him for it. And of course, Mammon being Mammon, will deny deny deny! The brother that baby sits the most for him is probably Lucifer, actually. (He doesn't trust Mammon at first. Jk, he trusts Mammon a lot with this, actually.... mostly)

3. Satan

You may be thinking, 'Pen, you're absolutely stupid and don't know anything about OM!, nor how to write in character', and you may be right, but let me cook!

You see, Satan at first isn't too keen on the idea of a child. All they do is scream and cry shit themselves and eat then cry some more. And when they're a teenager, they'll just sass him. And he does NOT like the idea of that. But all you have to do is appeal. Example:

Tell him to imagine the following: A 4 or 5, maybe even 6 year old boy or girl that's a mini version of him. Running around the house of lamentation, screaming curses about Lucifer, who can't do anything because they're a child who doesn't know any better. They'd be able to get away with anything and he could use that to his advantage. Now he's hooked, and he'll think about it, but despite his hate for poor Luci, he's still aware that it's a lot of responsibility. Which is why you have to reassure him that that's why you'll raise the baby together. Plus, imagine taking the child to the library, reading to them. They get to develop their own personality. Which is when teenhood becomes fun, because it's not about the sass, it's about the fun personality they've developed.

His biggest fear for his child is his child becoming like him. He doesn't want that. He'd prefer his child become like Lucifer than to see himself in his child (though not by a lot) Oh, and he trusts Asmo enough to be super gentle with the child. (Mostly because he threatened to kill Asmo if the baby is hurt) but also because he knows that the baby would be in gentle hands!

4. Lucifer

Lucifer isn't so quick to agree for 2 reasons.

He's always busy, what if he ends up neglecting the child in favor of work? And then you'll end up taking care of the child in its most vital years to have both parents present (though every year is vital to have both parents present). Of course, you'll just reassure him that Diavolo would give him some leave time in favor of raising the baby, and the brothers would help with his work load in the meantime.

2. Ok, but what about his brothers? That's the thing, he feels like he's already a father of 6. He won't be able to look after them as much because a baby is far too much time. They'll be running loose like chickens without heads in no time. You'll have to tell him he'll just have to have faith in his brothers. At first, he scoffs at the idea. But...he thinks about it. And the more he does, the more he agrees. Finally, he'll take you out somewhere private to tell you that he agrees. He wants to have a baby.

His worst fear is his child not feeling like he was present in his life. He already knows what it's like to have someone related to you hate youSatan, so it would be nothing new to him, though it would still hurt. Yet, his worst fear is his child growing up feeling like he was never there for his them. This will result in him constantly switching his attention time during teenage years from super clingy because he wants to be present, to a little distant because he doesn't want to come off as clingy. You better bring it to his attention and help him find a happy medium before your child starts to resent him for this. Oh, and the brother he trusts most to look after his kid is Mammon. This may sound stupid, but we all know Mammon would at least keep the kid alive. (Like Satan, he'll tear Mammon limb from limb if otherwise) but if Mammon isn't present, he'll ask Satan. Though, he can't be surprised if Satan has taught his child how to say 'fuck Lucifer' as one of their first phrases.

5. Asmodeus

Like Satan, he doesn't really want a child for the same reasons. They just cry, they take a lot of time, he won't be able to get his beauty sleep at night, ect. Also like Satan, you'll just have to appeal. Imagine all the cute family photos he can take! Plus, wouldn't the child be beautiful? 'Oh, but what about when they grow up and go through some weird emo phase?' Well, you guys will just have to accept them for that. And when (if) they grow out of the phase, y'all can continue to support them and then finally take family pictures again. And if they never grow out of the goth phase, you'll just have another Belphie. He laughs, and is a little more calm. It takes maybe some few months before he brings up the idea, saying that he thinks he's ready. His biggest fear is his child growing up unloved by their peers, so he tries to dress them up pretty all the time. You might have to remind him to let the child explore their own style for a bit, and he'll reluctantly agree at first, then be very willing later on. He doesn't want people to see his child as anything but pretty, but understands how important it is for the child to have their own style and feel supported for it. But he's keeping all them embarrassing baby photos. And he's definitely showing them off to his child's romantic partner (if they're not aro/ace). The brother he trusts the most to handle his child is Lucifer. He knows the child will be safe. He would pick Satan, but....y'know.

6. Leviathan

For obvious reasons, at first it's a no. He won't be able to play games as much, the baby will always be crying, ect. But you'll have to remind him that it's a team effort, and he won't be the only one taking care of the child. Plus, once the baby grows up, he'll always have someone to play games with. To which he responds they might not like games. You can counter that if they're constantly surrounded by games, they'll become a familiar source of comfort, and they'll likely love games. Same for any cartoon or anime he makes them watch. He'll give you plenty of excuses, but they're all bullshit. His biggest reason(and secret) is he thinks he'll be a horrible, embarrassment of a father. His child won't think he's cool, and might even get bullied a lot. I mean, imagine having some lame Otaku for a father. Sad, right? But just tell him that his child will love him because he's their father, and no matter what, they'll be proud to call him dad, just like you'll be proud to call him their dad. He tears up afterwards, and maybe a while later, he'll shyly approach you and tell you he's ready. He'll pay less attention to video games and anime for a while, but when he gets a break, if he's not sleeping, he's catching up on all the anime. His worst fear is his child becoming lonely like him. So he makes sure the child grows up with a pet of some kind. That way, they'll learn to be social. Oh, and if it's a boy, he'll try his damndest to name him Henry, and if it's a girl, Hana and/or Yuri. The brother he trusts the most is also Lucifer. He would say Beel, but he doesn't want him to eat his child (Beel would never), and he would say Asmo, but he doesn't want to receive an Asmo Jr. Oh, and Mammon isn't allowed near the child.

7. Belphagore

Last, and least surprisingly, Belphie. A child is wayyyyyyy too much responsibility for little old him. Plus, they cry all the time, he wouldn't be able to sleep. I'm not sure if you really could convince him to have a baby. If you did, it would be years in advance before he would agree. I think the best route is to just prove to him that the responsibility will be shared (and worth it), and he could still get sleep from time to time. Which would help. But if y'all ever do have a baby, he'll slack off a lot. You'll probably get into a couple of arguments because you'll be doing most of the work in toddler and infant years. (Most likely to get divorced over the child if y'all are married. Not saying it will happen, though. Just most likely out of the brothers.) Eventually, after ranting to Beel, he'll realize he has been a shit father at first. To the child, and to you. (Thank Beel for getting through to him). Like Beel, his worst fear is his kids not being safe. He really doesn't care how they turn out as long as they're happy and healthy. After he finally starts taking initiative as a parent, he becomes over protective. If its a girl, he sees Lilith in her, and he wont let her go. Obviously, he trusts Beel the most with his kids.

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep1

so once again like a crazy person [i've done this with star wars sequels before] i've decided to take three and half pages of notes over the course of an hour. i've been a fan of the games for at least a decade and i'm actually always watching lore content between the installments though so while i do know some minute details, within the show, there was some things i was interested in and curious about that i just decided to jot down. some of this may be things discussed already and some of it might be something i wasn't sure if anyone brought up before but anyways! maybe i'll do the whole season, but here's my ramblings • them titling the episode "the end" was when i knew i'd love the show • ok but i really wonder if cooper can still do those party tricks? he was really good at them and lucy would probably love them too 🥺 • thinking back, the radio in the first scene mentions not knowing where the president is--- beginning to wonder if he was the guy sitting in on the vault tec meeting • just realized they introduced the mr. handy robot in some of the first scenes • ten years of nuclear threat according to anchor but the show is careful not to give away all the cards because why does the weather anchor make it seem like they know when the bomb will drop? idk but birthday boy mother turns off tv real "head in the sand" like • the nat king cole song that's playing though [wondering if the song is mirroring specifically cooper's feelings about barb despite everything hmm] • horse's name is sugarfoot 🥹 • him having to pay alimony... wonder what the prenup? was like... [still think he probably loves barb 😞]

• them calling him a pinko despite him being an architect of vault boy's persona, a quintessential presentation of a "man's man" acting as a cowboy, a real cowboy, a former marine--- wondering if there was a smear campaign after his situation with barb and vault tec, him working children's parties leads me to believe... • did the kid's say the birthday boy's name was boyd? [if so, there's another character in the games with this name and this is also the name of a character walton has played in another series, funny] • weather man show's up again distressed, wondering if we'll get more info about that day • everyone ignoring, cognitive dissonancing their own nuclear annihilation is so prescient if not disturbing and damning

• him teaching janey the thumb thing ☹️ • cooper's voice when he says "let me see if i can't rustle you up a piece" 😩 • janey being the only one to notice the first bomb • the fear in cooper's eyes • cooper being in denial one last time before realization sets in • people becoming animals the moment they realize what's happening--- one guy punches his friend not letting his family into the fallout shelter • people getting into their cars and cooper onto his horse to escape--- wonder how fast they could be since it doesn't seem you could outrun nuclear annihilation

• lucy being raised so well under the circumstances 😔 [hope she never becomes her father] • i haven't trusted steph since episode one • lucy being a teacher [amongst other things] and asking maximus about what happened after the bombs fell makes so much sense [and also much like another person suggested is an interesting juxtaposition to cooper's pre war knowledge] • lucy showing how skilled she is for being a marriage candidate when in reality we are seeing someone fit for the wasteland is crazy on second watch • is lucy not watching a cooper howard movie with her dad? hello??

• them reading "war and peace" in the family book club is rich • lucy [thinking] she's not good at guns, ironic • steph having to step in like a sisterly type because lucy's mom isn't there 😞 • the wedding dress on lucy being ill fitting, tight as symbolism for lucy not truly "fitting in there" and being constrained [foreshadowing] oof • the vault boy sign in the back saying "don't lose your head" lmao • didn't catch the "cousin stuff" until someone mentioned it on tumblr and twitter 💀

• the flashback we see of lucy ending up being almost a false memory, a misrepresentation of her actual memories, that she has been on the surface, in the sun • norm taunting lucy about her future husband being "anybody" and a "cannibal, crammed full of tumours" 😭 unfortunately for ghoulcy, this was some of the heaviest foreshadowing [the raider also could have been one too] • why didn't hank recognize moldaver? • so many things i still don't understand about vaults 31, 32, 33 • the growing realization they are raiders was pretty funny to me lmao

• moldaver having to sit through the disingenuous lies of hank ugh • norm going into vault 32 like they wanted them to know what was up? or is that just how vault doors work? they used lucy's mom's pip boy [that hank lied about burying] • lucy putting norm in a storage vault, she really is so strong • the handed down wedding dress getting messed up • i am curious if the raiders [shady sands survivors?] only mostly harmed vault tec aligners but maybe not • the way hank and steph retaliating a little too well • hank acting like he doesn't know moldaver when everyone really does know moldaver • moldaver telling lucy she looks like her mother is really such a tipoff

• realizing maximus is getting bullied 😭 • dane... might love maximus a little idk • from latrine duty to basically ruling over the brotherhood of steel • they really showed some dude jacking it lmao it's just normal i guess 💀 • maximus being defeated and having a rightful outburst of emotion, poor guy • the poster saying "the outside world can never harm you"--- funny • chet would've died up there 😭 • them not opening the vault back up for her, wondering if the vapourized bodies are from the initial bomb drop or the subsequent shady sands ones • dane almost gets maximus killed three times tbh • maximus joined the brotherhood of steel to get back at what vault tec did, essentially hank's doing, hank has many enemies • knowing the enclave, it makes sense why siggi is hunted • cooper the ghoul's introduction though • the bounty hunter saying his captors dig cooper up every once in a while to cut pieces of flesh off him 😞 no wonder cooper acts the way he does 😔 he's been taken advantage of, no wonder he doesn't trust anybody and is horrible to everyone • "why is this an amish production of "the count of monte cristo" or the weirdest circle jerk i've ever been invited to?" why would he say this 😭 • cooper's... been invited to circle jerks 👀 • does the bounty hunter know the ghoul is cooper howard?

• him not harming the chicken, him healing dogmeat, there's something there, folks • people only digging him up to use him again 😞 • what a coincidence he's dug up just as lucy leaves the vault • "i do this shit for the love of the game" he's a character, he's playing a character, real theatre kid • hence why cooper is introduced as "the ghoul", cooper is long gone • "us cowpokes, we take it as it comes" something about this lineee

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home (30) - [CONVERTED]

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

[previous] | [masterlist]

Little Y/N/N,

Good to hear you and the loud one (I’m kidding don’t kill me) are settled in. Ma’am says she “finds the pictures acceptable, but please tell Kara we need to talk about the color scheme in the living room.” (Actually had to give her the laptop.)

Back to me now. Sam’s good, her and Lena are just spending their time spoiling the monkey face. I finally have babysitting privileges. Brainy took the Paternity  test. It would’ve been nice for him to be a dad, but Lana’s looks are scary so I’m glad it came back negative. And Ma’am and I got some brochures from an adoption agency yesterday; we’re going to see about maybe a kid of our own.

Don’t worry about Kara finding a role. Ma’am says it’s a tough business but if anybody can break into it Kara can. Oh, thought you’d like to know that Schott got arrested for taking bribes from Willis. So now all his cases are being reviewed. Dunno what that means for yours, but Ma’am says not to worry, she’ll let you know. And Sam and Lucy are on top of it too.

I gotta go cause it’s roleplaying ni grefsrersl  cause Ma’am says so, but I’ll write again soon.

Miss you, Little Y/N/N. Love ya.

Maggie

Y/N closed her laptop with a smile; she’d answer Maggie later. She sipped the last of her tea and glanced out of the shop, seeing the sun beginning to slip down. It had been a good day, her first at the bookstore. Her boss was nice, a sweet little submissive who was pleased that Y/N knew so much about art and Broadway, and Y/N got a 20% discount on books. Mistress was limiting her to two books a month though – “Just for now,” she had said – because they were just starting out and she knew Y/N would buy out the store if she could.

Today was also Mistress’s first day, at an off-off-Broadway workshop, and Y/N couldn’t wait to ask her how it had gone. She knew Mistress was in a hurry to win a good role, because she wanted success for herself and Y/N, and to get them both out of the small apartment in a moderately good but still not the best neighborhood. But it would come in time, Y/N had reassured her, and after all, they’d only been in New York a month.

She was on her way, and so was Mistress.

And the apartment might be small, but it was theirs. It was on the 4th floor but thankfully there was an elevator, and Mistress had been glad that there was a doorman for a little added sense of security. They had decorated it together, though apparently Alex didn’t agree with the shade of green they’d chosen for the living room. Y/N could only imagine what Mistress would say to that, and she laughed softly.

As if on cue, she felt someone slip in next to her and clear their throat expectantly, and that’s when Y/N realized.

The sun was going down.

Oops.

“I was supposed to be home an hour ago.”

“That you were,” Mistress said, but she wasn’t angry, and she rested her head on Y/N’s shoulder. This was Y/N’s favorite shop besides the bookstore, and Mistress knew that if Y/N wasn’t to be found, she’d usually be here, just two blocks from their apartment.

“I’m sorry, Mistress.” Y/N tilted her face to kiss her forehead.

“Mmhm,” Mistress hummed. “When we get back to the apartment, for an hour you’ll spend 3 minutes of every 10 in the corner. Perhaps that will help you remember the importance of time.”

“Yes, Mistress,’ Y/N answered, and smiled as she began running her fingers through Y/N’s hair.

“Are you sure you like it?”

“I told you I did,” Mistress said, toying with the cropped pink strands. “It’s a good look for you. And very, very hot.”

“Mm, good to know,” Y/N said, kissing her. “I think I’ll keep it this way for a while, then.”

“Let’s get home now,” Mistress said. “Theo missed you.”

“Just Theo?” Y/N teased, standing up and shouldering her bag as Mistress circled her hand around her wrist, holding her protectively.

“No, not just Theo, you little brat,” Mistress said with a roll of her eyes.  “I missed you too. And I was worried. I thought you’d forgotten your way home.”

Y/N shook her head and stopped in the middle of a busy New York evening to hug her Mistress, and kiss her with as much love as she possibly could.

“I could never forget my way to you.”

FIN

[morganski-19]

Thumbs

Based on the song by Lucy Dacus cw: implied child abuse, implied violence

Eddie places the phone back on the receiver, not releasing his hand after the little click of the receiver turning off. There’s a far-off look in his eye, just gazing off into the distance at nothing. Mouth slightly agape, breathing deeply while standing otherwise perfectly still. 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks, walking softly to Eddie. 

“That was my dad. Said he was in town, wanted to meet.”

He reaches across to Eddie’s hand, peeling the fingers off of the phone one by one and holding them in his hand. “You don’t have to see him. You don’t owe him that.”

“I couldn’t say no,” Eddie says, a line of tears filling his fixed gaze. “It was like I was ten years old again.”

“I’ll go with you, so you’re not alone with him.”

A single tear falls down Eddie's cheek as he nods, breaking his rigid stance as he starts to crumble. Steve pulls him in close, holding his head close to his chest while he cries. Tears for his younger self full of fear and pain, and tears that he’ll have to go through it all again. 

When they enter the bar, there’s a man sitting at a table, waving with the smile of someone who thinks they’ve done nothing wrong. Eddie grips Steve’s hand and gives him a look. He knows that Eddie doesn’t want to do this, but knows that he can’t say no. Never could, not when he knew what his father’s capable of. 

They walk over and sit down, Eddie releasing his grip on Steve’s hand. The man before them calls over a waiter before even saying hello, ordering a rum and coke. The idea of drinking either of them now tainted with the bile the man emits. His presence is looming like a haze, sending chills down his spine and clouding his vision. With one word, Steve would strike, get them as far away from him, and never look back. But Eddie agreed to this, and maybe this will be the end of this. Maybe he’ll never have to see his father again. 

“Kid, I gotta tell you. You look great. I mean you’re all grown now. What are you now, 23? I sent you a check for your birthday, did you get it?” The words roll off his tongue like they’re meant to be there. As if he was some distant relative you saw at a party once a year. A role that was never his to play. He didn’t get to do that just because he decided that being a father was harder. 

Eddie grabs Steve’s knee under the table, squeezing it. “I didn’t.” The words said innocently as if he didn’t know what question was coming next. 

“You’ll have to give me your address then, the one Wayne gave me must have been the wrong one.”

Steve knew what he was doing. Trying to force himself back into Eddie’s life, trying to get back into his head. It wasn’t going to work, not with Steve. No one gets to manipulate Eddie into anything, especially this. 

Eddie squeezes Steve’s knee harder, digging his nails into his jeans. “I’m sure it was the right one,” is all he says, forcing a smile, a phantom compared to the ones he normally wears. Steve doesn’t even know how he can smile right now at all. 

“I’m sure your friend here would give it to me. Wouldn’t you,” he gestures for Steve to fill in his name. 

“Steve,” he says curtly. “And I’m sure Wayne gave you the right one. The mail can just be slow.”

He glares into the man’s eyes, furious at what he sees. They're the same eyes he looks into every day, the same eyes he loves. But they're different here, crueler, darker. He hates that Eddie got anything from him. Hates that something that makes Eddie so Eddie can be traced back to him. 

The man moves on, unwilling to admit that he lost his upper hand. He just keeps talking, stories of prison mates, and filling in the gaps of Eddie’s life in his mind with stories he could only wish were true. You’re prom was like that, wasn’t it, Ed? I’m sure you’ve stolen a few cars now and then. My son, getting the grades and breaking hearts, right? 

Eddie just smiles when he feels his dad is looking for one. He doesn’t have a right to that smile, to anything that Eddie has. These stories that he’s creating are a false narrative of Eddie’s life, built to make him feel bad for not fulfilling them. In reality, all of what his dad could come up with was wrong. Eddie was so much more than his dad could ever see.

They sit there, listening to the man talk for what feels like an eternity, but was really only an hour. Eddie is so stiff sitting beside Steve, so afraid to move. He’s said so little this entire time, just nodding and agreeing with whatever his dad says. The fear is present in his eyes, Steve knows that’s only fueling the man across from them to continue. He hates it. 

He imagines what would happen if there was no one else here. If Steve would run into this man without Eddie here to stop him. Only one would walk away and he wouldn’t regret it, not for one moment. No one gets to make Eddie feel like this, ever. Not if Steve can help it. Even now he can picture pressing into the eyes that they share, making sure only one of them has them left. That they’re Eddie’s and Eddie’s alone. He doesn’t need to see any reminder of this man in the mirror every day. 

Steve clears his throat. “We should be getting home. We have that dinner with Robin, remember.”

Eddie turns to look at Steve, thanks traveling through with just a gaze. “Right.”

“You boys need a ride?”

“No, that’s alright,” Steve supplies, already standing, making sure to puff out his chest just a bit to look more intimidating. 

Eddie stands and turns without another word, walking away while his father yells out a goodbye, cursing him for not doing the same. When the doors close behind them, Eddie grabs Steve’s hand again, letting out all of the breath in his lungs. Steve says nothing but squeezes Eddie’s hand to let him know he’s here. 

When they start walking, he tenses up again. “I can feel him watching.”

Steve turns his head, seeing the man a block behind them, watching from a distance. “Turn left, we’ll walk the other way for a while.”

That while ended up being a mile. It didn’t need to be, after a few blocks the man gave up, leaving them to the road. That didn’t matter though, it was better to be safe. When it was finally far enough away, Steve hailed a cab, bringing them home. 

Eddie collapses into him when they get back to their apartment, hugging him close, not letting him go. “I hate him,” he cries. “I hate that I’m related to him.”

“No, you’re not. Not to me. Other than blood, that man is nothing to you. Nothing important anyway.” Steve takes Eddie’s face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “Blood means nothing, not when it treats you like that. You don’t owe him shit, never do, never will, no matter what he says.”

More tears stream out of Eddie’s eyes as Steve presses a kiss to his forehead, wrapping him up in another hug. He holds him close as the tears come and just keep coming. 

The fact that Eddie can even smile at all after what that man put him through is an amazement. He’s seen joy shine through his face more times than he can count, and not once has it been fake. The person who he clutches to his chest is nothing like his father. And that only makes him better. He grew up to be the exact person that his father would hate if he ever got to know. To Steve, that’s an accomplishment. As far as he’s concerned, that man is the epitome of everything that’s bad, and Eddie is everything that’s good.

“If he calls again, give the phone to me, ok. You’ll never have to hear his voice again if you don’t want to. You owe him nothing, not another word.”

And it’s true. Eddie gives him nothing more than he already gave today. The next time the man calls, he gives the phone to Steve. He didn’t hold back that time, filling the line with how much the man failed, how much of a disappointment and a terror he was. Steve hung up before he even got a word in. 

It wasn’t the last phone call, but it was the last either of them ever paid attention to. Every other time, the phone was hung back up on the wall before he could end the sentence. Because he didn’t deserve anything, so they didn’t give it to him. 

[azlan-snow]

Humble Beginnings(Radiobelle)

Chapter Eight: A Trying Mother

(Still told from Lillith’s POV)

“Hello, Charlotte.”

“Dad?”

“CHARLIE!”

“What are you doing here?”

“We’ve come to see you and your ‘redemption’ project,” I say. “But will you introduce us to your lovely residents first?”

“Of course!” She pulls Alastor down the rest of the stairs, taking him by surprise. “This is Alastor, my business partner!”  Alastor furrows at the introduction from her, and continues to introduce himself. “Quite a pleasure to meet you both, quite a pleasure.Your daughter is quite the demon belle.” His smile never fades as he looks at us, staring us down. He extends his hand to greet us, and I take it, seeing how much of a gentleman he is, but Lucifer, on the other hand, decides to decline, not liking how buddy-buddy he was acting with our daughter. “Come this way, Mom and Dad!” We follow her to the bar, when Lucifer speaks. “What in the UNHOLY Hell is that?”

“Just some of the reservations we had done, your Majesty. Adds a bit of color, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t. I think it’s quite hideous.”

“Luci, that’s disrespectful,” I say, trying to be kind. 

“It’s true! It’s so tacky!”

“Dad, come on. Be nice! It adds color, just like Alastor said."

“Alastor. Your name sounds familiar,” I say, pondering where I had heard it from. “You’re the infamous Radio Demon, aren’t you. The one with the jazz and classical radio station.”

“That’s correct, Your Majesty,” Alastor says, congratulating her. “I’m surprised that the Queen of Hell knows who I am.”

“Yes, you have quite the reputation of carnage. Quite a feat, if you ask me. Congrats.”

“Thank you, Your Eminence. Thank you very much.” He looks at me with such pride, and looks down at Charlie, pupils dilating, and smile softening. “I noticed that the two of you have a special…bond per se. Is there anything you would like to tell us, Charlie?” Charlie blushes hard at the question, full of embarrassment. It seemed as if I asked the right question. 

“Unfortunately, no, Your Grace. Charlie and I are merely business partners, nothing more.” 

“Unfortunately, Alastor?”

“Yes.” 

“Sounds like someone needs to get a move on.”

“Mom!” Charlie, blushing even harder now from embarrassment, looks at her in stress. 

“What are you two talking about? You…like my daughter,” Lucifer asks, confused. 

“Yes. I do. Who would have thought the Radio Demon of all people would have stuck on somebody?  Never would I have thought I could love anyone, in life or in death. She proved me wrong. She deserves love. Love that you two failed to give her.” I was shocked by the comment, but remained emotionless. My husband, on the other hand, lost it. 

“How dare you! Insulting us in our faces!” Lucifer turns to his demonic form as he grabs Alastor by the neck and throws him against the nearest wall he could find. Alastor looks up at him, fear evident, but not affecting his decisions. He dodges Luci’s next attack as he releases hellfire.

“Dad, Stop! Please!” Charlie shouts at him running towards the fight. The closer she got the angrier she got. When she reached her father, she displayed the family resemblance: horns, red and black eyes, fire in between her horns, her adorable little tail, and angelic wings, just like her father. She pins him to the floor in a nice bodyslam that I believe was well-earned. “Mom, do you mind,”she asks, gesturing to my out-of-control husband. I walk over to her and pick up my squirming husband. “Luci, please. Calm down.”

“ Why should scum like you have our daughter?”

“Because your daughter changed me. She made me see things from a different perspective. I used to think that murdering people was the way to happiness, but she changed that. She showed me that there is happiness in people. She showed me how to love others, something I wasn’t capable of in life.” Charlie was in tears. Demon form still present, she rushed over to him and hugged him. His face shocked, then warmed up as he hugged her back.

“Thank you for loving my daughter, I say. “She deserves love. Love we failed to give her.”

“I still don’t understand,” Lucifer remarked, still in my grasp. “Why her?”

“Did you miss the whole two speeches I gave explaining why? Or were you just not tall enough to hear me?”

“Alastor! Apologize,” Charlie scolded, looking at him in shame. 

“No. It’s true. Your father is quite short, Charlie.”

Charlie punches him in the shoulder , earning a wince of pain from him. “Apologies, your Majesty,”he says. 

“Apology declined.” Lucifer laughs at the Radio Demon as he begins to glare at him.

“Well, I guess we should clean up this mess. Dad, Alastor? Do you mind working together to get this done?” She smiled sweetly at the two, and they couldn’t say no. As they clean, we talk. 

“Charlie.”

“Yes, Mom?”

“ Do you love this man?”

“I don't know, but yes. I do.”

“Very well. As long as you love him, I’m happy. Your father, on the other hand, may not be.”

“He’ll get over it. Hopefully.”

“How did it happen?”

“He started helping me a couple days ago as I was having a hard time due to insomnia. But I didn’t know I did all that for him. I’ll have to ask him later.”

“Well if you did this for someone, hopefully you will forgive us. He looks at us with such disdain.”

“Well, he doesn’t like you two. He knows what you leaving and Dad shutting himself out did to me. Which is probably why he treats Lucifer the way he does.”

“Who do you think would win in a fight?”

“Obviously Dad. Alastor is strong, but not that strong.” I chuckle at her answer as she looks me dead in the eyes. “Mom. I need to know. Why did you leave?” I looked back at her, hurt in her eyes, as in mine. 

“I made a deal. I was sentenced to Heaven for seven years in order not to cause any backfire in the exterminations. I wasn’t allowed to leave nor roam Heaven. I wasn’t able to get any of your calls either, little one. I’m so sorry.” I was in tears, kneeling before my crying daughter. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Charlie. But I am truly sorry.” 

“ I do forgive you, Mom. I do. Thank you for telling me the truth.” We hugged, crying into each other as Luci and Alastor stared at each other and us. They walk over and join the embrace, Charlie and I still crying. Once we cease, we prepare to leave. “We’ll do the tour on a different day, Char-Char. Okay?”

“Of course, Dad. Farewell!” 

“Goodbye, my beautiful daughter,” I say, embracing her once more. 

“Goodbye, Mom. See you later?”“Of course.” We exit the hotel and enter the limo to return home.

“That went well, didn’t it?”

[ladylooch]

When Nico Saved Lucie

A/N: A few requests came in for Lio & Lucie. Which lights my heart right up! Here is the first one "Super Soft Dad Nico!". Although not as soft as it started out to be, I am in love with this. Dad Nico to teenage Lucie is so good.

It’s late. Well after midnight. And it’s dark. So dark. The moon is barely illuminating Lucie’s steps as she walks through the sleeping mountain town. 

There is an eeriness that follows her and clothes the normally safe town with an edge of danger.

She snuck out of the house to meet up with Marco, the guy Nico just about blew his head at Lucie for when he showed up tatted out with an eyebrow ring. Maybe Lucie should have listened to him. She met Marco at a party with his older friends. He spent most of it ignoring her, having his arms around a blonde while taking hits off a blunt. Lucie’s stomach had flip flopped with jealousy. Marco had concerns she was too young for him. She wasn’t. She is grown. But when she got up to straddle his lap, he pushed her off, snapping at her for “acting out” and went back to the blonde. 

So she left. 

And she didn’t tell him. 

She thought that would show him. He would call and text incessantly wondering where she was, but he didn’t. Instead, Lucie realized, very apparently, how much he didn’t care. Tears blur the cobblestones beneath her feet at the realization things with him are coming to an end.

She looks up at the clock tower, seeing it close to stroking 2am. Below it, a man is standing on the corner of a building, leaning against it, one foot up, smoking a cigarette. Only the orange glow tells Lucie he is there. He is otherwise quiet and wearing dark clothing, including a hood over his head. Lucie tilts her head back down, trying to seem focused on where she is going. But something doesn’t feel right. She puts her hand into her sweatshirt pocket, gripping her phone so tightly her palm starts to sweat. She walks another block, then casually flips her hair over her shoulder, taking a look. 

He’s following her.

Fear grips her throat. She pulls her phone out, pressing on her dad’s contact in her phone.

“Where the fuck are you?” Nico growls immediately into the phone.

“Daddy?” Lucie whispers. 

Across town, everything in Nico’s body becomes alert. Something is wrong.

“I’m coming. Where are you?”

“Forest and Pine.”

“What’s going on?” She can hear the keys in his hand, closing her eyes, begging for him to speed for once in his damn life.

“I’m walking home and someone is following me.”

"Keep walking towards home. Stay on the phone with me.” His voice is tight. She can tell he is angry with her even as he’s coming to her rescue. 

“Okay.”

“Talk louder. Make sure they know you’re on the phone with someone. Say louder where you are.”

“Yeah I’m just walking home right now. I’ll be there in five minutes. I’m at Forest and Aspen now.”

“Good, Lu. Keep talking. I’m in the car.” Lucie blinks and fat tears roll down her cheeks. She feels like a little girl- small, incapable, needing her daddy so bad. She chats back at him like nothing is wrong. Loudly talking about what she is going to do when she gets home. “Look back, Lu. Where are they?” Lucie looks, seeing the burning glow of the cigarette closer than before.

“He is closer.”

“I’m almost there.” Lucie can hear the RPMs through the phone. They match the rapidness of her heartbeat in her chest.

“Daddy, please hurry.” Lucie’s teeth begin chattering from fear. 

“You’re going to see me in ten seconds.”

Lucie picks her pace up, knowing just up the hill is her safety. The black Mercedes roars over the top of it, bright light illuminating Lucie’s terrified face and the shadowy figure about to reach her. The man sees the lights and turns abruptly, rushing off into the wooded pines and back down the mountain towards town. But not before Nico got a good look at him. Nico throws the car in park. Lucie rushes to his door, throwing herself into her dad’s arms. She breaks down completely, sobbing so hard Nico’s frame shakes as he holds her.

Raw fear grips Nico’s voice for a moment. He can’t speak to her. How can she keep doing this to him? How is he going to make her understand? Nico stares down the hill at the shadowy figure’s retreating back. He wants to follow that piece of shit. Break every bone in his fucking body for whatever he thought he was going to do to his daughter tonight. Instead, Nico buries his face in Lucie’s hair, smelling her sweet, flowery perfume- a reminder of how young she is despite what she believes.

“I wanna go home.” Lucie chokes out. 

“Okay.” Nico nods, walking with her around the car to the passenger side. He tucks her safely inside, feeling some tension leave his body. He walks around to the other side of the car. They are quiet as Nico flips a U turn, heading back towards home. “Why are you out alone at this time?” He asks, even though he knows. Fucking Marco.

“I snuck out and met up with Marco. He was being awful. So I left. I thought he would… come after me. He didn’t.” 

“Lucie.” Nico can’t help but groan. 

“I know, daddy.”

“No, Luc. I don’t think you do.” Lucie purses her lips as they shake again. More tears fall. “What am I supposed to do with you? I try to protect you with a curfew, you sneak out of the house. I tell you to not spend time with older men and you go after them harder. So how am I supposed to make you understand how dangerous this path is for you? What if I had been asleep, Lucie? What if I wasn’t awake pacing the living room waiting for you to get home?” 

Nico and Lucie both leave that thought hanging in the air with their silence. Eventually, Nico sighs heavily as he pulls the car into the driveway. He turns the car off, expecting Lucie to fly out, slamming the door and stomping to her room like he is the worst. Instead, she turns towards him.

“I might not know a lot. But I don’t think you know how hard it is being your daughter.” Nico freezes like she slapped him. “In this town. Where you’re a God and I’m just me. Half Swiss, Half American, not one of you.” She unclips her seatbelt, wiping at her cheeks defiantly. “I’m a constant disappointment. To you and mama. To this town. But Marco, he doesn’t see me as Nico Hischier’s daughter. He sees me as ME. Lucie.” 

Nico stares back at her, stunned. It has been a long time since he played hockey. A long time, he thought, since people were clamoring for a piece of him. When they moved back to Switzerland, people let them live their life as a family. It didn’t feel as suffocating as it had in America with all he attention. The Swiss people gave them space. But he never thought about what it must have been like for Lucie to assimilate here. She had Lio, but Lio is Swiss. There is no other half.

Slowly, Nico releases his seatbelt, getting out of the car. Lucie follows.

“Come here.” He whispers to her. He wraps his arms around his first born, crushing her into his chest, wanting to absorb all her pain and anger. “Luc, if you’re mad at me, just be mad at me. Don’t put yourself in danger because you’re trying to run from it.” Lucie buries her face deeper into his chest, smearing his shirt with her chunky, black mascara. Nico holds her head there, rubbing his thumb is soothing swipes. It takes ten minutes before words are exchanged.

“So how long am I grounded?” She looks down at the garage floor. Nico considers, reaching for her cheeks and brushing the remaining tears away from her face. The way she looks at him breaks Nico’s heart. He knows Lexi is going to be livid for this. He knows he should consult her too. 

“Depends. Are you still going to see Marco?”

“No.” Lucie shakes her head.

“Then we are square.” 

Lucie stares at him, brown eyes matching his. 

“Mama…”

“I’ll talk to her. Go take a shower and go to bed.” Lucie nods, then heads into the house. She disappears to head upstairs. Nico places his hands on the cool stone of the kitchen island, trying to ground himself after what just happened.

“Daddy?” Lucie’s small voice calls out. Her head reappears outside the wall. Nico looks at her. “Will you tuck me in tonight?” 

“Yep. Text me when you’re ready.” 

“Okay. I love you.” She murmurs. “I knew you would come save me tonight.”

“Always. From anything. I love you, LuLu.” Nico confirms. 

When Lucie disappears again, Nico can’t help but wonder if maybe that’s part of the problem.

[lucifer-misadventures-au]

Luci and Arthur in season one of Hazbin Hotel:

Charlie: Why are both so hesitant to help me? This Hotel could save our people!

Arthur: I doubt it, Charlotte

Charlie: Y-You're... You're doubting me? Why?! Aren't we family?

Arthur: We are family! It's just that-

Charlie: Then why are doubting me?!

Arthur: Why are you so fuckin' naive and insensitive?! Just listen to us for once!!!

Charlie: ...

Arthur: Just. Stop! Stop talking and listen for once in your immortal life! The reason Father and I are skeptical on helping your goal it's because... There are possible consequences!

Charlie: C... Consequences...?

Arthur: Yes! Think about it! What if one of your friends managed to get to heaven and... Heaven would find out and won't accept it? What if they would get treated like outcast, like black sheep of the herd? What if they're treated like they were "defectives"? Just like the angels from 10,000 years ago before Father fell...

Charlie: W-Wait what? D-Dad it's that true?

Luci: *nods his head* Yes, Charlie, It's true... Back before I fell from grace, I witness a certain amount of angels getting treated differently by the others for being completely different from the rest, even by the council... Even by my former siblings from heaven. They were "defectives" because of they're differences, I was also different from the rest, though my treatment wasn't as harsh as the others though, I know I was different... In fact, your uncles and aunts, and the ancestors of the Ars Goetia... They were deemed defectives as well. So, you see Charlie... The reason your brother and I were really hesitant of helping you and your Hotel was because I don't want our people to get treated by heaven harshly because they got into heaven even though they were in hell in the first place... Just because they would be cleansed from their sins doesn't mean heaven would be easily accepting, more specifically the heaven hierarchy... If that happens then I fear their dream might be in vain...

Arthur: Exactly. Charlie, we love and we're not saying you should stop this Hotel business but you should realize that right now isn't the best time to go on with that dream... Not the heavenly hierarchy being narcissistic assholes who really doesn't truly get God's wisdom and words...

Charlie: B-But what about the overpopulation?! The extermination?!

Arthur: Father and I are currently finding a way to deal with the annual extermination day... And the overpopulation is no longer a problem, you know that, right?

Charlie: Um... No?

Arthur: What?! Have you been living under a rock this whole time?! Have you not the news of hells new rules?! Have you not attend of any of the campaigns for the past three years?!

Charlie: Um... Wait! There were campaigns and new rules?! And what you mean Overpopulation was no longer a problem?! How is that possible?!

Arthur: Goddammit, Charlotte!!!

Luci: Now, now, Arthur! Remember, do not say your Grandfather's name in vain and yes, Charlie, we're currently dealing with the extermination problem and the overpopulation problem was indeed in fact no longer an issue... And honestly, it was quite simple!

Charlie: Simple, how...?

Luci: The only reason Hell's been overpopulating was because I've been forcefully suppressing my connection to my kingdom's people... In order for the realm to expand for the sake of not overpopulating, I just need to regain my connection to hell... Which I in fact did~

[moldymeat]

Some thoughts I had while playing Psychonauts 2 for the first time that I wanted to write down somewhere because I cant just keep info dumping to my dad. :]

Spoilers, duh

TL;DR this is my new favorite video game :D

I cringed so much through the whole process of turning Hollis into a gambling addict, I know Raz is just a kid and that they make up afterwards, but its so hard for me to play a video game and the character you play as does something I'd never do.

the music that plays in Hollis' Hotstreak reminds me of something from The Incredibles for some reason. Side note, I ADORE both PN1 and PN2's soundtracks and I do listen to them just as background noise. my favorites are all the circus tracks, Meat Circus, Flea Circus, Aquato Family Caravan

Me first hearing the main bad guys name was Maligula at the beginning of the game: "haha, Maligula kinda sounds like Amygdala, the part of the brain that controls emotions, especially fear! I sure love all the punny names in this game! I'm sure this will have nothing to do with this characters lore!"

In my head video games and film are kind of in separate categories, so hearing Jack Black and Elijah Wood, very prolific film actors voicing characters in this seemingly random video game was kinda jarring. I know now that Jack Black is friends with the creators of PN and has acted in other double fine games, buts its still kinda weird to me. (I still liked them tho)

In the Psi-Kings Sensorium, Helmut says "My Bobby" about Bob and my immediate thought was "something a little fruitys going on here" and then later on they show Bob and Helmuts marriage and stuff and I was like "oh something a LOT fruitys going on here". I think I was just so prepared for any kind of relationship for Bob and Helmut to have to be only subtext that I forgot this game came out in 2021 and they could show gay if they wanted to.

Psi pops are definitely sour grape and green apple flavored and dream fluffs are little condensed balls of cotton candy.

In hindsight, Gristol was totally trying to mail his own body to himself for safe keeping, but also he was the only mail worker so how did he think the package was going to get him? he didn't know he was going to get an intern and its not like he could walk down to the mail room as Truman without blowing his cover. My mans did NOT think this through.

The conversation Raz has with Dion is really sad and stuff, but when you're idling around Dion one of the things he says is "look at me and my psychic goggles!" and I literally laughed out loud when I heard that.

"Hey why do all these lice have little signs lol" "Lucy those were peaceful protesters!" "OH, UH OH."

I really loved Comptons Cookoff! it was way different from all the other regular old platformer levels, and I'm a sucker for timed cooking games. I only wish that you could replay the actual game show part in the collective unconscious.

In Cassie's Collection there are all the little paper fairy tale characters right? Well two of them, Shakespeare and a dragon, are played by the same actors who played Snorpy and Chandlo in bugsnax, so hearing the paper characters talk I was like "hey, I know those guys!"

Its a little pet peeve of mine when a character in any media is supposed to come from a specific country and they don't have that country's accent. Obviously Grulovia isn't a real place, but Nona has a nondescript eastern European accent, so why wouldn't the other Grulovian characters? I guess Augustus could have trained it out of himself or something, but Gristol? As much as I like Elijah Wood as Gristol, he's the gzesarevich and loves his country! there's no way he would train himself out of the grulovian accent. I've heard some other people say Gruman has an accent when Maligula was released but eh, I don't hear it all that much.

While finishing the game I (only!) shed a tear three times, once when Maligula was holding Marona's dead body, once when Raz got his junior Psychonaut badge, and once when the credits starting rolling.

i think Cosmic I and Welcome to my Mind are going to be stuck in my head for weeks.

[kpchrs]

Hiii! First of all, thank u so much for the continuous snowbaird content in my dash. Now, you're one of the reasons that I keep coming to this app. Since I'm a sucker for what ifs, and I enjoy your thoughts about snowbaird, how do you view their relationship progression, if they never went to district 12, aka, coryo didn't get punished and Lucy gray stayed in the capitol? Do you think that was a possibility? Also, unrelated, but I really enjoy the ff list recommendation, thank u for that. And I think it's so funny that in some FF it's portraying snow's virginity lost, it's so refreshing to see the guy in this position, not the other way around. Also, the sexual tension and physical contact is such a big thing in their relationship, I like when people don't overlook that

Hi, Anon, I'm sorry this took sooooo long. I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life. I'm just kidding. I was just thinking too hard about something new I can add to this lmao (None, and I give up finally.) Happy that my...shitposts(?) can entertain you. Thank you.

Because you are asking about the possibility, I think it's not really a possibility, unless some miracles knock people's heads, that they would just dismiss or not notice him cheating. But for the sake of the AU, let's forget about that.

Let's say after winning the Games, instead of his mum's poison compact, his dad's Lucy Gray-perfumed handkerchief, and the jaded, bitter Highbottom, he is greeted by Lucy Gray.

Goodness, how romantic. I'm sure it will be a so-tight-you-can't-breathe hug. A rib-cracking embrace. A tear or two or three.

He did it. He just saved his girl. Oh, she's really his girl now, right? Lucy Gray. His girl. (He also gets the Plinth Prize, yes, the Snows will return to their glory days now. Snow lands on top.)

[Coryo's mind will wander far into marriage. I mean, he's a teenage boy high with happiness at this point and I think his mind would go there so.]

Finally. Life is looking up from here.

Lucy Gray just got out of her doom. She thinks the world of Coryo. He just risked everything to save her life! Lucy Gray is very grateful and maybe Coryo can get a few days with her staying in the Capitol (with the reason so she can recover). It will be a lot of sweetness before Lucy Gray drops the bomb by saying she wants to go home.

This Coryo has no reason to go to the District. He won't want to.

Districts, he thinks with...disgust (and fear he swallows). ...Maybe to meet Lucy Gray it's worth it anyway. But it will be better and the best scenario if she can stay in the Capitol. With him.

What will Coryo do? Well, he can try to convince her to stay.

The Capitol loves you.

Coriolanus, Capitol is not for me.

I love you. He weaponises confession without being sure of his own feelings. (I think in this stage, he is still wondering.) Don't you want to stay with me? With the Plinth Prize, I can provide for you.

Coriolanus, I must go back to the Covey. They need me. (I'm not sure if she will reciprocate the confession. I think, in the book, Lucy Gray feels more comfortable with her feelings and the relationship because Coryo following her to Twelve confirms his sincerity for her.)

Coryo can keep trying, but I don't believe he will win the debate lol Sorry, bro.

In one fanfiction I read (and still haven't continued), Coryo 'convinced' her because he's backed by Dr Gaul. He lied to her that 'the Capitol is endangering your life' to keep her in the Capitol.

Without Dr Gaul, nah. No chance.

Unfortunately, Coryo, nope, she doesn't stay.

"Goodbye, Lucy Gray, I'll see you in letters." After sharing a last kiss in the train station, there she goes. In this universe, at least she leaves on a good note. Phew.

With his family and money secured, also because he feels safe enough (unlike in Twelve), Coryo won't be as desperate as he is in the book, which is why I don't think the worst scenario will happen...

...Yet?

In this AU, I think the story can continue when the Capitol invites Lucy Gray back to sing in the 11th Hunger Games. The drama will start depending on the mentor system (victors/academy senior students), if Coryo interns in the Hunger Games (maybe, who knows, he will justify it all for power), and if Lucy Gray wants to go back at all. Well, I do think Lucy Gray will come back, it's the Capitol's demand, she wants to be safe after all, but maybe she will sing in defiance of the Games. She can write a vaguely(?) rebellious song and...well, the Capitol's and Coryo's reaction will be so interesting and that's how the drama starts!

It all depends on the plot, baby!

TLDR; if everything goes smoothly, the less desperate and more secure Coryo will let her go. After all, power is his priority and it's in his grasp, though I do think he will keep in contact with her. After that, it depends on the gods (the writers).

I'd love to hear other opinions. This is fiction, after all, everything is possible if you justify enough.

And about the fics lmao! Coryo's virginity's loss! Okay, let's not pretend that he got some experience, yeah? XD This guy admits it himself in the book so unless it's a time skip he will remain inexperienced pfft (even though I don't really see him as a guy who sleeps around even with Livia after Lucy Gray. If he does it, it's to gain something.)

Much like the popular fanon, I do think Lucy Gray is more experienced than him. My previous fandom also has this popular trope in the fics, so I think this trope is very attractive to many people. Fumbling men are cute PFFFT.

With Anne, we think physical touch is one of their top love languages. Judging from the amount of book kisses the film omitted, in our opinion, that's why physical touch is prominent in fics.

About the sexual tension, let's face it, the book doesn't go there because it's a YA, but if it wasn't it would absolutely go there. It's just the CERTAIN vibe from them. Everlark is purer and Snowbaird is filthier LOL (And also because of the simple reason that it's hot.)

I love it too! It's cute :P

Thank you for the ask,

Kris