#it truly means so much alix <3 <3

[thepsychewrites]

hi psyche 💛 here comes your weekly delivery of love and good vibes ✨🦋 wishing you the best for the days ahead! may life be kind to you, may you complete your chores, may work/school go smoothly, and may you find the words to write!! lots of love sweets 💛

🥹🥹🥹 alix!!! as always i adore seeing you in my inbox (and i selfishly keep some of these to myself so i can read them when i need a lil pick-me-up hehe) and thank you for all of the sweet lovely vibes <3 i hope you have the most wonderful week and that good things come your way! love you tons 🤍

[ravennm84]

Serafina II

Part 1     Part 3

The 2nd installment of the “Marinette’s Haunted Doll” series. I was seriously shocked by how much response I got from part one, so I hope this lives up to your expectations. Blood, gore, and death are coming, along with some mental freak-outs. You have been warned. 

Part II

Despite wanting to stay with Marinette to comfort the girl after the tearful apologies by Mylene and Ivan, Serafina couldn’t return until her work was finished. There was still much to do and people to punish. 

She arrived early with Mylene, which allowed her to observe the others that entered the classroom. Kim had returned to school that day in a wheelchair. The cast on his leg went up to his waist and the one on his arm went up to his bicep. His face and exposed skin were covered in bruises and his right eye looked like it had blood in it. 

“How are you feeling, dude?” Nino asked him as he entered alongside Adrien.

“Really sore,” the boy admitted. “Doctors had to reset my leg at the knee and said that my arm was a three piece offset fracture, so they had to use screws to put it back in place. Other than that; had a concussion, a lot of bruises, and a couple cuts; but no internal bleeding or ruptured organs. They said after a few months and some physical therapy, I should be as good as new.”

Nino gave him a solemn nod. “Glad to hear you’re going to be okay, dude.”

Kim’s expression dropped a bit. “I heard about Alya, I’m really sorry, man.”

The boy lowered his head while Adrien patted his back. “I really… I can’t believe she’s gone because of some freak accident. It makes no sense!” Nino jumped to his feet and started pacing as more students filed in. “I mean, she wasn’t supposed to die like that! Getting caught up in an akuma battle, childhood disease, there would be a reason for that! But that was just pointless!”

Mme. Bustier did attempt to calm him down, but her kind words fell on deaf ears before he grabbed his bag and left the room. No one could blame him, and only Adrien followed to make sure he would be alright, and to make sure he wasn’t akumatized.

Lila came in not long after with a curious bag in her hands. Serafina watched the liar as she looked around the room. She had a feeling that the liar would try something after her last attempt to frame Marinette had failed. When the girl tried speaking to Mylene, the doll was proud to see the girl refuse to acknowledge her as she continued to speak with Rose and Juleka. When it was clear that she was being ignored, she tried speaking to Ivan, only for him to give her a harsh glare that had her shuffling backwards. With Max and Alix still at the hospital and Adrien not in the room, that left her with Sabrina. The redhead had been sitting alone at the front of the room since Chloe had transferred schools after the Miracle Queen incident.

“Hi Sabrina, how are you doing?”

The girl smiled up at the italian, glad to still have a friend. “I’m doing okay, at least a lot better than a lot of our class. I heard Max lost sight in his one eye from the chemicals and Alix might have to have cosmetic surgery to get her face back to normal. At least Kim might be back to normal in a few months after going through physical therapy. But Alya…”

Lila faked her tears at the mention of her lost follower. She was really more annoyed than sad, Alya was easily manipulated, went along with everything she said, and Lila had been able to use her blog to build up her popularity. And the girl had been a decent attack dog, just point her at someone and off she went. Now that she was dead, maybe she could turn Sabrina into her new lead follower, she was already partially trained and it wasn’t like the blonde bitch was around anymore.

“I know, it’s so terrible. She was my first friend when I moved here, it’ll be so hard without her,” she faked a few more tears. And just like that, Sabrina took her hand in comfort and said a bunch of soothing words while she continued to fake cry. 

After a moment, Lila placed the bag she’d been holding on the desk and pushed it away from her, making sure the action caught Sabrina’s attention. “What’s that?”

Lila fake sobbed even harder, hiding her face in her hands. “Ma-Marinette, she-she said it was m-my fault that Alya’s dead. She practically threw that bag at me and said to use it,” she said before breaking down in more fake sobs.

Carefully opening the bag, she gasped when she saw it was full of razor blades and a couple of kitchen knives. Sure, she knew that Marinette didn’t get along with Lila, but to actually give this to her and tell her to ‘use it’? How could she be so cruel?

Serafina scowled as the red head hugged the liar and promised her that she would take care of it. Her anger erupted as Sabrina stood from her desk with the bag in hand, and began walking towards Mme. Bustier’s desk. The girl didn't take two steps before tripping over nothing and falling onto her side. Luckily, she did not land on the bag. Unluckily, she gripped it too tight and the impact forced the knives and razors through the bag and deep into her hands.

The girl screamed and cried as blood rushed out of the wounds and down into her sleeves. She begged Lila to help her, but the italian backed away from the girl in shock. Mme. Bustier gripped her head between her hands and began saying “not again, not again” before running out of the room. The only ones that helped her were Juleka, Rose and Ivan; the smaller girl sprinting off to alert the nurse and the principal, while Juleka and Ivan got Sabrina to her feet. Ivan kept the girl upright and moving out the door while Juleka held the girl’s hands above the level of her heart to keep her from bleeding too much.

Those left in the classroom were in shock as they stared at either the door or at the blood staining the floor. No one said anything for a long time, not even Lila. She hadn’t thought anyone would get hurt. She just thought she would get Marinette suspended and everyone would be on her side again. Adrien returned before the others, completely shocked when he saw the blood and Kim explained to him what had happened. The blonde sent a scathing look at Lila but said nothing.

It was a while later before Rose, Ivan, and Juleka returned to class, along with M. Rupere. He informed them that their classes were cancelled for today. “After everything that has occurred this week, I’ve decided that all of you will be meeting with the counselor today. He will decide if more sessions are necessary and for who, but his door and mine are open if you need to talk. M. Deveraux will come to speak with you one at a time. Kim Le Chien, he had requested to speak with you first. Mlle. Rossi,” he looked sternly at the girl, “would you please follow me, we need to talk about the incident with Sabrina Raincomprix.”

Serafina smiled as the liar trudged out of the room after the man. She was satisfied with Sabrina’s punishment and doubted if Mme. Bustier would last another day before having a total mental breakdown. She also knew that Lila would be in even more trouble after M. Rupere looked into the girl a bit more. But just to make sure, Serafina touched her on the way out. To most people, that would do nothing; but to someone like Lila, it would cause her to become more and more unhinged until she did something drastic. Very soon, Lila would be out of the picture and those deserving of punishment will have paid their debts.

~oOo~

It was more difficult sneaking home with Adrien than she had expected, especially with the tiny god of Chaos and Destruction in his bag. Plagg was his name, and he was very defensive of his kitten and had threatened to cataclysm her. Serafina told him that she would not purposefully harm his ‘kitten’, but there was something she had to take care of at the Agreste Mansion. The doll had long suspected that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth and she was going to find out tonight if it was true. Plagg was reluctant to agree since it would hurt Adrien; but if it was true, they had to put an end to it.

After arriving at the mansion, Plagg easily convinced the boy to sneak out and check on Nino. After he left, Serafina sensed something on Adrien’s desk. Being an enchanted/haunted object, she could sense other objects like herself… such as Miraculous jewels. And right there on the desk was a pin shaped like a peacock, one of the jewels that had been missing and used by Mayura. If there had been any doubts before about who had been terrorizing Marinette, they were gone. 

Tucking the pin into her small outfit, she began to search the building, starting with Gabriel’s office. She had expected the man to be present, but he was missing. And given that Hawkmoth was a very active user, she had no doubt that he kept his jewel on him at all times. So, she waited.

It was about an hour later that Gabriel Agrest entered the room, and not from the door Serafina had expected. The man had a secret entry in the floor in front of a portrait of a woman. He was muttering on knowing better than to use Bubbler again, but that the negative emotions had been too strong to ignore. She also saw the purple kwami hovering over his shoulder, but the creature stopped when it sensed her. Gabriel strode out of the room, barely noticing that Nooroo had stayed behind and flew over to the doll hiding behind the desk.

“What are you doing here? If the Master finds you, he will destroy you.” The kwami said with worry.

The doll conveyed that she knew that his master was Hawkmoth, just as her human was Ladybug. She was here to protect her and return the butterfly and peacock miraculous to their rightful place. Also knowing that Gabriel had become too corrupted for his miraculous.

“I’ve tried to tell him that the wish would be dangerous,” Nooroo told her with downcast eyes. “He wants to make a wish to revive his wife, but he doesn’t realize that the cost would be to put Adrien, someone he loves equally as much as Emilie, into the same state of death. She isn’t even truly alive anymore, her body only lives because of the machine she is in.”

An idea spawned in Serafina’s thoughts and she barely kept herself from smiling. She asked Nooroo to help her activate the secret passage so she could get to his wife, but the little kwami shook his head. “Even if I could get you down there, the motion sensors would trip and he would attack you.”

Smiling this time, Serafina promised the little god that Gabriel would not attack her. That she would make sure that Adrien would be safe and the two kwami’s would go to their rightful place. All he had to do was help her open the door. Although reluctant and slightly scared, the little god opened the door, hoping that the nightmare would finally end. 

Down in the lair, the doll saw the mechanical coffin placed in the center of the room and went to it. The motion sensors caught her quickly, but she had been planning on moving fast anyway. Opening the coffin, she settled herself into the woman’s arms. Nooroo had been right, Serafina could sense that the woman’s soul had departed from her body a while ago and it was only the machine that was keeping her body alive. With no other soul to contend with, this would make what she was about to do next all the easier.

Nathalie had called to alert him the moment the alarms went off in the lair while she and Simone were out on an errand. He was moving faster than he could remember with Nooroo following close behind. Gabriel transformed on the way down, prepared to attack whoever had stumbled in, but his breath caught in his throat halfway down when he got a good view of the room. 

The coffin was empty.

Rushing forward, he began frantically searching the room for his wife, calling her name. He turned to rush back upstairs and froze. Standing behind him, looking dazed, was his wife. Her eyes were unfocused and her arms were hugging her middle, but it was her. Dropping his transformation, Gabriel cautiously approached her and she flinched back from him. It took a few minutes and a lot of gentle coaxing before he was able to wrap an arm around her shoulders and lead her to the elevator. When they got to his office, he watched her carefully as she began walking around the room. He wanted her to sit down and rest, but he was still in shock that she was awake and standing in front of him.

Eventually, her green eyes met his. “Where’s Adrien?”

“I… I don’t know, he should be up in his room.”

Emilie’s head tilted slightly, her eyes searching his. “What have you done? Did you make the wish?”

“No, my love. I was going to when I got the jewels, but Ladybug and Chat Noir evaded me.”

Tears grew in her eyes as she continued to stare at him. “You tried to make the wish? Knowing that it would have cost our son’s life?” 

Gabriel froze. He hadn’t known that wishing Emilie to come back would cost Adrien’s… but Nooroo had tried to tell him. He remembered the kwami trying to tell him about the cost and he had forced him to not speak. “I’m sorry, Emilie. I didn’t-”

“You knew,” she interrupted, her voice lacking any emotion as she continued to stare at him. “You knew from the beginning that what you were doing was wrong, evil. You chose to ignore what it would cost.”

“Emilie, my love, please don’t say such things,” Gabriel begged as he rushed forward to wrap his arms around her. “All I have wanted since the day I lost you, was to hold you in my arms again and hear your voice. I was lost without you and was willing to go to the ends of the earth to bring you back. Is that so wrong?”

He had just barely met her eyes when he felt the twin pains in his arms. Jumping back, he looked down to see both wrists had been cut deeply with a pair of his fabric cutting scissors. Blood was draining from the wounds at an alarming rate. His hands were shaking and he was already feeling light headed as he grabbed a handful for fabric from his work table in an attempt to slow the blood. He wanted to call out for help, but they were alone. 

His eyes grew hazed as he looked to Emilie, surprised that she was staring at him with such contempt. “I know what you’ve been doing while I was in that coffin. Tormenting the city and people I love, isolating our son and treating him like a burden. If you had ever succeeded in getting the Cat and Ladybug miraculous, it would have destroyed Paris. But you didn’t care. As you said, all you cared about was hearing my voice and holding me in your arms. Congratulations, your wish came true, and you will be the one to pay the price. Not Adrien.”

His legs gave out from under him as the fabrics dripped from the excess blood. He couldn’t understand how this had happened, Emilie would have never done something like this… but was this really her? With his vision fading, he took a hard look at his wife, only now noticing the dullness of her eyes, the greying pallor of her skin, and the fact that she only seemed to breathe when she spoke… “Who are you?”

Her head tilted again, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly. “Serafina. Quite astute of you to figure that out in your state. Your wife’s soul passed on a long time ago, all you have been doing is preserving a corpse. And I was telling the truth; even if you had made the wish, it would have cost Adrien his life.” Her hand shot forward, removing the butterfly miraculous before he could stop her. “Your actions have hurt someone close to me and I could no longer stand back and allow it to happen.”

She stood, walking to his desk to pull out a piece of paper and writing something down before neatly folding it and leaving it on his desk.

“Wh… What…”

“You just wrote a letter to Adrien; admitting what happened to his mother, that you were Hawkmoth, and the reason why you did what you did.” She said calmly before looking back at him. “Whether he tells the rest of the world is up to him. As for the miraculous, I will give him a chance at redemption. Though if he should fail, you may be seeing him sooner rather than later. Either way, they will soon be back where they belong, with the guardian. And you, good sir, have just committed suicide after bringing your wife’s body upstairs, so you would be able to hold her in your arms as you died.”

Unable to sit upright anymore, Gabriel barely felt his body collapse to the floor. He was hardly aware of Emilie lifting one of his arms to tuck her body to his side. The last thing he was aware of was something that he swore would haunt him in the afterlife; a porcelain doll emerging from the folds of her clothes and standing beside them. It stood there on its own, watching him until he could no longer keep his eyes open and he took his final breath.

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[thenovelartist]

Burned Beginnings, chapter 1

Novel decided to do Adrienette April on a whim. Each post until the end of April (or such is the plan) will have 3 prompts in it.

She also discovered she’s very rusty. Bear with me here. XD

Next>>

1. AU

Marinette had thought she’d grown used to Chloe’s bullying, having to had endure it since they were little. However, with high school came a new name that became a regular part of Chloe’s vocabulary, alongside “hot” and “sexy” and “dreamboat”.

“And Marinette would never catch the eye of someone so perfect.”

Honestly, Marinette had thought she was over it, but on a particularly bad day, she’d snapped back at Chloe.

“Well, clearly he isn’t that perfect if he fawns over someone whose only redeeming quality is pretending to be pretty.”

That had led to a fire alarm getting pulled and Marinette left to blame for it. Anyone who tried to come to her defense was shut down, and Marinette had been suspended.

Which had started an all-out war.

After being stuck at home, wrongfully, for three solid days, Marinette had snapped. She’d decided that if Chloe was going to build a bonfire and poor on the gasoline that she would be there with a match. By senior year, Marinette’s record had taken a hit for it but Chloe’s reputation was in the toilet.

Marinette would take what she could get.

However, she supposed she hadn’t fully thought out the consequences. As much as she played with fire, she should have realized she’d get burned sooner or later.

And she did. Third degree.

We regret to inform you your application has been denied.

Those were words she grew tired of seeing yet came back from every school she applied to. With that in mind, she’d called up her girl friends to tell them what had happened.

“Hey, Marinette,” Alya had said upon seeing the letters. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel really bad for you. But… I did warn you—”

“I get it,” Marinette had surrendered, knowing that Alya was completely right. “You tried to warm me of the consequences, and now I’m paying for them.”

The girls had slipped into a moment of silence before Alix spoke up. “Hey, I can ask Max if he can do a little digging so you at least know why, yeah?”

Marinette had raised a brow but agreed. “Only if he’s not busy with his own college stuff.”

“Oh please, he’s too smart for college. He started up some robotics company in his free time and is already making bank on it.”

It took a week for Max to come back with a full report. Marinette had to give him props for working fast as he did.

“Hacking into the system was the first thing I could think of,” he’d explained. “In the side notes, there was mention of your attendance record and suspensions.”

“They were all wrongful suspensions,” Alix had countered.

“Doesn’t matter to the school,” Max had said with a shrug. “But even then, I thought there had to be more to this than just attendance. There were other students who had the same notes yet were accepted. So I shifted focus to digging up background on all the directors of the school. After hacking a few emails, I discovered Audrey Bourgeois happens to know a lot of directors or administration members in all the fashion schools of France. Considering the contents of most of those emails, it has become clear that Marinette was wrongfully barred from every school she’d applied to. And that there’s nothing that can be done about it because we only discovered such scandal through highly illegal means.”

“So…” Alya had begun, turning her attention to Marinette. “Where does that leave you, M?”

Marinette’s lips had pursed in thought. It was funny how things turned out, because despite her anger, she somehow had been peace with what she was faced with. “I think that the last place I want to be is in an industry full of liars and people who use their words to manipulate anyone they damn well please.”

That was how she ended up working full-time in her parents’ bakery. They never said a word about it, but she knew they were disappointed. Of course they weren’t mad about her still being here and working in the bakery with them, and she knew her parents still loved her more than anything.

But she knew that with as many dreams as she had and had shared with them, they were disappointed on her surrendering it all.

“Sorry, Maman, Papa,” she whispered into the empty kitchen as she plopped the baguettes she formed onto a baking tray. “Just give me a little time to figure things out. Seems like lofty dreams are a lot easier to crush than I realized.”

 2. Rebellion

A son can only bear the world of their parent’s expectations for so long. He wasn’t Atlas, but after a few years of acting like him, Adrien decided to dump the globe. To hell if it broke. He’d smirk in satisfaction at his father’s disappointment.

At the very least, the fact he no longer had the weight of the world of his shoulders made the far-too-common disappointment lecture easier to bear.

His strategic rebellion had started harmless enough. At sixteen with a rapidly growing forced modeling career, he’d given his father an ultimatum: he gets to grow out his hair, or it all goes. It had been shocking the amount of power the razor in his hand had given him. It was the perfect harmless threat. His father had been furious, throwing a fit about Adrien acting like a child, but after being gaslit for so long, Adrien had finally come to realize the abusive techniques for what they were. And he wasn’t going to roll over and take it any longer.

That day had ended with Adrien being grounded but ultimately the victor of their stand-off.

After that, he’d begun ditching certain events. He’d always liked fencing, so he never ditched those lessons, but attendance for his home-school lessons, mandarin lessons, and piano lessons had all been decided on a whim. His father had hardly been pleased by this, but to Adrien, that was the point. The lectures soon washed into one another so much that Adrien could practically recite the words that roll off his father’s tongue verbatim. He’d come to realize they were strategically meant to hurt. To humiliate. And as such, he’d stopped taking them personally.

Then came the fun part.

He got earrings. Honestly, Adrien hadn’t really cared for the piercings one way or another. In one way, there were a hassle, and caring for new piercings was a pain in the butt. However, they had been worth it to see his dad so royally pissed off.

Then came the ditching of certain photoshoots. There was a reason Adrien had held off on this one for so long: he cared about the people running the shoot. There was no reason they needed to be collateral in this battle between him and his father. After all, they were just employees doing their job; Adrien didn’t want them to suffer for his rebellion. With that in mind, Adrien had planned out his absences of these photoshoots. Again, he didn’t want to drag anyone else into his mess, so he had always organized a replacement model. Shoot would always go on, just not as planned.

And that was enough to drive his father mad.

It always put a smile on Adrien’s face.

The last touch was an unexpected one. He hadn’t even thought about going this far. Yet, a friend of his not only put the idea in his head, but gave him the art to go with it.

“Is that a tattoo?”

Oh, how he wished he would have taken a picture of his father’s face. The large black cat surrounded in a green, wispy smoke that wrapped around his forearm was truly a work of art. He’d had to think carefully about this decision, but in the end, he quite liked it.

“Yeah. I’m eighteen; I can ink myself if I want to. Why? Is that a problem?”

Adrien might be wearing a cat on his arm, but the grin on his lips was downright wolfish.

Eventually, it all had come to a head and blew up in his face. Adrien couldn’t say he’d been surprised. In fact, he had been fully expecting it. He’d already found an apartment to rent and had begun sneaking most of his important things over there before his father could kick him out. So when Adrien found himself kicked to the curb as soon as he was handed his general education certificate, Adrien had been prepared.

But mostly, he was free.

What a joyous day it was.

However, now that he was free, he knew he needed a job. Not because he needed the money, per se, but because it was time he started acting like the average adult. He never got to go to school, so now, it was time to pick up a mundane, first job that everyone hated but would “serve him well later in life”. Mostly, it would just be something normal.

The easy places to apply were food shops and retail stores. He’d work one for a while before deciding what his next life step would be. Chloe had been quick to offer him a job at her father’s hotel, but Adrien was vehemently against the idea. Over the span of his rebellion, Chloe’s behavior and attitude towards him had grown notably worse, and he had a feeling cutting ties with her would be his next step in life.

In the end, he’d scored a job he definitely was underqualified for. He’d applied partly out of spite and partly because ‘why not?’ He’d heard about this bakery enough times from Chloe to know the “cruel bitch who did nothing but mercilessly harass her” lived here, and that was enough to pique Adrien’s curiosity. At a bakery as popular as that, though, he hadn’t been sure he’d get a call. And when he did, he knew he would do everything he could to present himself as a reliable and respectable man eager to work, but he never thought he’d end up hitting it off with the owner.

Which somehow ended up with him agreeing to work at Tom and Sabine’s Patisserie.

Going into that job, he swore to himself he would do what he could to prove himself worthy. He knew there had to have been better applicants, so Adrien didn’t want to disappoint the very kind owners who dared give him a chance. Soon, his days were spent working hard while covered in flour and surrounded by bread all day. Well, bread and all the sharp and hot objects in your average kitchen.

He just didn’t think that would include a wicked sharp and smoking hot young lady that happened to be his bosses’ daughter.

 3. Game Night

“Mama, Papa, please go. You two hardly ever get out of the house.”

Marinette watched her maman put a hand over the mouthpiece of her phone while her papa turned to her. “But I’ll be busy that night. We have a massive order scheduled for the next day.”

“I can handle that,” Marinette quickly countered with a grin. “You know I’m a night owl, anyway. I’ll get it done, and you two can go enjoy game night with your friends.”

Her parents spared each other a glance. “Are you sure about that, Marinette?” Maman asked.

“Positive. Papa already talks to the bread too much, so he really should talk to people for a change. And while you have to deal with people all day, I know you want more than to just have short conversations filled with small talk. So please, go out and have a social life for once.”

With one last look, her parents relented. With a smile, her mother took her hand off the phone. “We’ll be there.”

Papa turned to her with a grin. “I was going to spend that time teaching Adrien how to handle those orders. I can leave teaching him in your hands, right?”

Her grin fell. Adrien Agreste. What the hell a washed-out model was doing working at her parents’ bakery was beyond her. Admittedly, over the last month she’d been working with him, the most she’d say is that maybe he wasn’t too bad a guy. Papa certainly sung his praises. But that still didn’t answer the question of why he was working here of all places. After all, he was Chloe’s friend and suspected lover.

“Don’t think I don’t see that look on your face, Marinette,” her maman chastised. She’d hung up and set her phone down already, fully giving her attention to her daughter. “No matter your personal feelings, you really should give him a chance.”

“He’s a good kid,” Papa said. “Maybe a little rough around the edges, but I can tell he really does want to learn and do his best.”

Marinette sighed. This wasn’t the first time this talk had happened. She remembered having a talk with her parents after his first interview. There were a few other people who were far more qualified for the job, but Papa said he liked Adrien’s personality and spirit the best. So in the end, all Marinette’s objections had fallen upon deaf ears.

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll give him a chance.”

With a smile that made Marinette loath to disappoint him, her papa patted her head affectionately. “Thank you, Marinette. I think you’d like him if you got to know him.”

Not likely. “I’ll do my best, Papa.”

“Really, Marinette,” her maman warned. “Unless you have a valid reason, you need to put aside your feelings for the sake of the bakery running smoothly. Can you manage that?”

Appropriately chastised, Marinette bowed her head in embarrassment. Maman brought up a good point: Marinette shouldn’t let her anger towards Adrien affect the bakery. Her parents didn’t deserve that. “Yes, Maman. I’m sorry.”

With a smile, her maman came up and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette hugged her back. “No, thank you, Maman and Papa, for everything. I won’t let you down.”

Papa wrapped his arms around both her and Maman. “Thank you, sweetheart. We love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[multi-fandom-freak0221]

You Killed Me, but I Survived and Now I'm Coming Alive

Hey guys. It's been a minute. My job have been kicking my ass. I quit one of them a few months back cause 16-18 hour days were kicking my ass. But my dad died of Covid 1/20/21, on my older sisters birthday and month before my 20th birthday. I am half a country away from him and I won't be going to see the rest of them, but I do have 3 paid days bereavement and while I'm trying to distract myself I decided to try and finish this part. Your feedback motivates me so much. This part was the part I've been waiting for. The whole reason I created this fic. Like for real I had like maybe one sentence summaries planned for the other two parts in my head but this part played out like a full movie in my head down to the last details. This one will probably be the longest. It also has like 3 songs in it because it's the concert/gala scene hopefully I'll be able to cut it down some because i won't need descriptions between every lyrics but who knows. C'est la Vie. Anyways this will be the official last part, but I do already have one for sure bonus planned and a possible bonus that I might do if enough people want it.

This part's title is from "Miss Moving On" by Fifth Harmony. And this part includes the songs "Sorry (I'm not Sorry)" by Demi Lovato, "Home" by Philip Phillips, and "Symphony" by Clean Bandit ft . (Which for me is like a fucking poly anthem. I'm mean a symphony is a perfect metaphor for a healthy poly relationship! I mean it is a lovely way of asking to join into a poly group! Anywho I'm ranting and projecting. Ignore me.)

This is Part 3 of my fic based on @maiisdaddy 's Love of Three.

Tagging list:

@thestressmademedoit @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @lizziejay @indecisive-mess-named-me @captainmac6 @luveverything12 @kris-pines04 @brokenwordsarehard2 @roselynfey @mewwitch @stainedglassm

Part 1 Part 2

Marinette was ecstatic. She was extremely proud of all that she had accomplished in the 6 or 7 seven months since she left Damian. She became a singing sensation and recorded a whole album that would be releasing soon. She spent time healing and hanging out with her friends and pseudo family. Hell she even created outfits for herself and all her friends for the album release/identity reveal gala her Uncle Tony decided to throw for. Not that other guest knew that what this gala was for. Uncle Tony had picked the next closest international holiday and claimed it was a charity gala in honor of said holiday. While he may mot have been being entirely truthful there is never a bad reason to give to charity so she wasn't going to dwell on it.

She could truly say she totally over Damian. She even had Adrien take the ring back to her old apartment for her. She was not worried about him anymore. She had more important matters to attend to. Like the 3 boys who stole her heart while helping her piece it back together. Which she would say was great timing because she was sure Bruce Wayne would be at this gala. She guesses it was some kind of billionaire/millionaire code to never miss a charity event hosted by a fellow billionaires/millionaires.

Either way it was for the best because as soon as Uncle Tony had suggested a gala to reveal at, she had Uncle Jagged help her with two songs that she kept secret from everyone. One to show her appreciate for all her family and friend's support for her and one to confess to the 3 boys who loved her when she felt unlovable. She was going to preform these song for her friends in front of a lot of influential people but she wasn't even nervous. Not even when Alix told her that the gala was to be live streamed. No she was just excited and happy to let her friends know how she was feeling.

The gala was in full swing. All the guests who were coming were already there by the time Marinette and everyone else she came with arrived. She was talking with Chloe, Kagami, and Alix when she decided to grab herself a drink. She was walking to the refreshments table when accidentally bumped in someone's back slightly. "Oh! I'm sorry, sir."

The man then turned around to reveal to be Bruce Wayne himself. "Marinette! I'm surprised to see you. Damian said you were feeling too sick to attend."

Marinette wanted to scowl, but she managed keep her face neutral. She knew there were reporters swarming here and she did not want to make a spectacle. "I'm sure he did. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Wayne I was on my way to get a drink." She didn't even get a chance to leave Bruce in confusion from her statement. No sooner than she took a step to leave did Dick walk up to her.

Dick smiled at her as he greeted her kindly. "Sunshine! It's been a while. I thought Damian said you were under the weather?" As he moved in to hug her she sidestepped out of his reach.

Once upon a time she loved Dick's hugs, but now it would just feel fake. "I'm sure your brother has said many thing about my lack of attendance to many social gatherings. Unfortunately those claims were false as Damian has not been privy to my whereabouts in months. Now if you please excuse me."

She went to walk away again, but she guesses Dick's interference was enough time for Bruce get over his shock because he blocked her path again. "What are you talking about Marinette?" Marinette resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Mr. Wayne it has been nice talking with you but this really is a conversation for another time." Marinette sighs. She was trying to be civil. She was sure there were reporters everywhere waiting for the big scoop. She wanted that to be her reveal not her past relationship with an asshole. "Besides this is probably something you'd need to talk to Damian about."

"Talk to me, about what?" There is no God, she was convinced. The sigh that left her mouth was long and full of suffering as she turned around with a clearly fake smile. Facing her now was Damian himself with Tim and Jason behind him. Damian was clearly extremely shocked to she her, but he played it off quickly. "Angel I thought you weren't feeling well. Why didn't you tell me you changed your mind? You could have came with us."

Marinette ducked out of Damian's reach, barely restraining from stomping on his foot with her heels, as he tried to kiss her. "Do not call me Angel. And don't you dare even try to kiss me, Wayne."

Before Marinette could lose her temper anymore Luka came and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Everything okay, Melody?" Marinette took some calming breaths as she attempted to regain her composure.

While she was trying to calm down, it seemed the Wayne family was getting worked up. "And who is this, Marinette?" Bruce asked accusingly.

Marinette looked at the family in front of her in disbelief. "You all met Luka. He's my best friend. Signed under Jagged. In a committed relationship with two of my other best friends, Kagami and Adrien." She shook her head as the all held sheepish expression for assuming the worst. "Not that who I'm with is any of your business anyways."

Before any of them could question to her statement, Felix comes to her other side and whispers into her ear. "Do you want me to call security?" She didn't even get a chance to respond before she heard Dick gasp, scandalized.

"Marinette!! Are you cheating on Damian?" Dick exclaimed. At this point Marinette knew they were drawing a crowd she was trying to keep everyone's dignity intact, even though her reputation wasn't the one at stake.

"Mr. Wayne I once again implore you that we have this conversation in a more private setting." Marinette spoke calmly, but through gritted teeth. She was on her nerve.

Bruce crossed his arm and spoke loudly drawing more attention to them. "No. I demand you explain to me at once why you are here with another man when you are supposed to be marrying my son. Was this all some kind of ruse to go after the Wayne Fortune?" Her jaw dropped. She knew it did but she couldn't stop herself from the shock. The sheer audacity of this family before her. She quickly shut her mouth as her eyes narrowed into a deadly glare. Her Ladybug glare. The Wayne family would never admit it but an involuntary shiver went down their spines at the sight of it.

She knew her friends had gathered behind her at this point and see could see the reporters pushing past each other to get the scoop. Vicki Vale was the closest one. In the corner of her eye she saw the camera that was set up for the livestream as well.

Marinette face finally settled on a look mixed with anger and mischief. "Oh? So want to cause a scene, Mr. Wayne? Well how about I put on a show?" She continued to stare Bruce in the eye as she spoke to one of her, "Chloe, can you tell Jagged that I'll be opening with Sorry. The rest of the show will go as planned." Chloe smiled wickedly before going to do asked.

The Wayne family began to smirk when they heard her say sorry, but whatever they began to feel was quickly shut down as she spoke to them again. "Let's get this straight, Mr. Wayne. I am not cheating on Damian and I never once desired to a part of your family's fortune. It was foolish of me to even once want to be a part of your family but I quickly learned better. I would not want to even look at the money that is connected to your family's name if the requirement was to be even cordial with Damian, let alone married to him."

She then towards the crowd the surrounding them. "If everyone would please take their seats facing the stage the show is about to to begin." Without a second thought Marinette headed towards the stage while the rest of her friends took their seats. Some one who was in the staff working tonight led the Wayne family to seats right in front of the stage. Soon everyone was seated and Marinette was standing center stage with a microphone.

Marinette smiled brightly at the crowd. "Thank you all for coming. I'm sure you all know me as Marinette Dupain-Cheng, pseudo niece of Tony Stark and Jagged Stone, and for some of you ex-fiance of Damian, but for others you still current fiance of Damian Wayne. Well I hate to inform that some of you are wrong. Anyways I'm sure your wondering why I'm up here. Well Uncle Tony promised a surprise musical guest so I'd like to reintroduce myself to all of as Neon Titanium! I'm going to be preforming a few songs for you tonight from my new album about to release but before that I decided I should clear the air. Let me start by saying it has been about 7 months since I broke off my engagement to Damian Wanye. While most of you know I chose to kept the reason of said break up private, someone here tonight decided that they were entitled to the reason to being told to them, very publicly. And who am I to deny such a request?" There was a false sincerity to her final sentence that seemed almost menacing.

In the front you can see the paling faces of many of the Wayne men as Tim is on his phone. He finally pulls up Marinette interview that was released prior to Damian announcement. "Damian, what the hell did you do?" Tim voice was barely above a whisper but they all heard it.

Marinette continued on quite content to the situation before her. "Well here's the truth. Damian did the unforgivable. He repeatedly cheated on me while emotionally abusing me and gaslighting me.

"He kept me from seeing everyone I cared about and his own family, claiming it was for my own safety and called me selfish for wanting to leave the apartment he kept me locked in. And while at first he seemed to actually be concerned my wellbeing, over time he stopped caring.

"He became distant, turning back into the Ice Prince you all knew him to be. He would lie about why I wouldn't leave the apartment constantly while still leaving me alone in the apartment constantly. Then he started getting late night calls from "work" to the point I would barely see him. I overheard one of these calls once. I heard him telling who ever was on the other side of the phone that I had no clue and to be waiting for him naked. But I stayed hopeful. I thought I could fix things. But he got worse.

"He was slept with the one person who made it their life goal to take everything from me. Even before I moved to Gotham, this girl hated me and she took all of the people who I thought were my friends and turned them against me. My true friends stayed and knew the truth but it still hurt. And Damien knew this. I told him all about this girl abd how she hurt me. Yet he still slept with her.

"The girl knew I was Damien's fiance. Somehow she got my number and sent me a picture of her in bed with Damian, both of them naked. I'm not going to lie I broke down when I saw that. Before her I could play ignorant and act like I didn't know what he was doing. But this? This was impossible for me to ignore. He cared so little about me that he slept with the one person who do whatever it takes to hurt me. I left that same night with only the things that were mine. Everything I bought came with and everything he bought me stayed. Including the cell phone he bought me when I moved in with him. The only thing that wasn't mine that came with was the engagement ring because I couldn't bring myself to truly accept the truth that it was over yet. I later on had it returned because I remember Mr. Wayne saying it belonged to his mother, though I'm guessing Damian didn't notice."

Marinette saw Bruce whip his head towards Damian who shrunk in on himself.

"Oops. Guess it wasn't noticed indeed. Anyways. For the last 7 months I have been living in Stark Towers with my Uncle Tony, healing with some of my closest friends helping me. And after some convincing working on an album with Luka and my Uncle Jagged. I will preforming a few of those songs for the gala tonight and they will also be live streamed for those who paid for virtual tickets. My album will be released in the next following week." Marinette took a deep breath as she prepared for her first song.

"Originally I planned to open with a different song tonight but after this impromptu info dump, I thought only fair to follow it with the song I wrote dedicated to Damian. I like to call this one Sorry" As Marinette finished the music started playing over the speakers. Soon she was singing passionately.

Now I'm out here looking like revenge

Feelin' like a ten, the best I ever been

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this,

But it gets worse (wait a minute)

She pointed to Damian while rolling her eyes.

Now you're out here looking like regret

Ain't too proud to beg, second chance you'll never get

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this

But it gets worse (wait a minute)

She took the mic off it's stand as she walked along the front of the stage.

Now payback is a bad bitch

And baby, I'm the baddest

You fuckin' with a savage

Can't have this, can't have this (ah)

And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Being so bad got me feelin' so good

Showing you up like I knew that I would

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned

Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns

Baby, fineness is the way to kill

Marinette gestured to herself from head to toe.

Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill

And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger, better things

Bet right now this stings (wait a minute)

'Cause the grass is greener under me

Bright as Technicolor, I can tell that you can see

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this

But it gets worse (wait a minute)

By this point Chloe, Kagami, and Adrien had got up and started dancing along to the song.

Now payback is a bad bitch

And baby, I'm the baddest

You fuckin' with a savage

Can't have this, can't have this (ah)

And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Being so bad got me feelin' so good

Showing you up like I knew that I would

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned

Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns

Marinette waved to her 3 friends to join on stage for the next part.

Talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby

If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby

Everyone was clapping to the beat while Marinette pranced across the stage, except for the Wayne family.

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby

Oh yeah Talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby

If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby (oh yeah)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Being so bad got me feelin' so good

Showing you up like I knew that I would

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned

Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns

As the song came to a close, there was a roar of applause as her friends went back to her table.

Marinette did a little half bow. "Thank you. Thank you."

She wait till it was quiet again as she returned the mic to the stand. "Now as you can all see I'm doing much better now and I'm happy without him, but if it wasn't for the support system I have I never would have made it to where I am. My parents are in France so in my time of need I turned to my family who was close. My uncles Jagged and Tony, and my aunts Penny and Pepper. They're wonderful and they have always been there for me when I need them. And also my friends, both old and new have stood by me through all of this and helped me come out stronger. So this next song was a surprise gift for them."

Jagged had grabbed an acoustic guitar and was playing her in sitting in the background of her as a projection shined on the wall behind her, showing pictures of her with her friends and her uncles and aunts.

Hold on, to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

She took the mic off the stand again as she walk off the stage to her friends and family in the crowd giving the hugs as vocalized along with music.

On the screen was several pictures she found. She put together the slideshow herself. There was a picture of herself crying in the midst of group hug while the people around her comforted. Another was her and all her friends playing in the pool. There was one where they had an impromptu free-for-all dodgeball game and she had won. She was laughing as the guys lifted her into and the girls were all cheering around her.

She made her way back to the stage after the final hug.

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

She smiled as projector turned off and the crowd applauded again. "Thank you all. But truly thank you to my friends and family for helping and supporting me."

She waited till it was quiet once more before speaking again. "All those who love me have done so much for me, but right now I wanna talk about 3 very special people."

She smiled softly as she looked over to where Peter, Felix, and Jon were sitting. "These 3 boys did so much for me even though they were the ones who knew me the shortest. They've been kind and patient and understanding with me. They all started to love me when I felt my most unlovable. And soon they found a love in each other as well. The best part is even after loving each other they offered to include me in their love as well, whenever I was ready. They gave me their friendship unconditionally no matter what my answer came to be and never rushed me for an answer ever. So Jon, Felix, and Peter this song is for you."

She saw the Wayne family's eyes widen, but she paid them no mind as she started singing.

I've been hearing symphonies

Before all I heard was silence

A rhapsody for you and me

And every melody is timeless

Life was stringing me along

Then you came and you cut me loose

Was solo singing on my own

Now I can't find the key without you

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So if you want the truth

I just wanna be part of your symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

I'm sorry if it's all too much

Every day you're here, I'm healing

And I was runnin' out of luck

I never thought I'd find this feeling

At this point Marinette had walked down the stage grabbed Jon's hand and led him back to the stage dancing.

'Cause I've been hearing symphonies

Before all I heard was silence

A rhapsody for you and me

(A rhapsody for you and me)

And every melody is timeless

She repeated the process with Felix as Jon danced nervously danced on stage.

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So if you want the truth

She left Felix and Jon dancing together as she brought Peter back to the stage with her. She continued to dance with him as she sang.

I just wanna be part of your symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah ah, ah

She smiled as Peter dipped her before bring her back up and handing her off to Felix.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah ah, ah

Felix twirled her, letting her dress flare, as she spun right in to join awaiting arms where he lifted her into the air.

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat

He slowly set her down and she turned until her back is against his chest. His hand are on hips as they sway gently.

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So if you want the truth

Peter and Felix were mimicking her position with Jon in front of her and she put an arm around Peter's neck while the other still held the microphone.

(Oh, oh, oh)

I just wanna be part of your symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

This time as she finished singing the crowd was silent as she looked at the 3 boys who held her heart. "Jon. Felix. Peter. You guys are some of the best people to ever walk into my life. I want nothing more than to be with you 3. So if you are still willing, will you do me the honor of calling me your girlfriend?"

She looked hopeful as the silence filled her ears. It felt like hours, even though it was definitely seconds, before she heard them all say yes.

Cheers erupted as Peter kissed her and Jon and Felix kissed each other over the former two's heads. She then turned kissed Jon as Peter kissed Felix, before kissing Felix as Jon kissed Peter. She grinning wildly when the all finally pulled away from each other.

She raised the mic to her lips as she closed out. "Thank you all for being here for my reveal/debut! I got one more song that I'll be preforming at the end of the gala, so y'all have fun and mingle. Once again, this is Marinette Dupain-Cheng aka Neon Titanium, I'm glad you enjoyed the show!"

She winked at Bruce on her last word as she walked off the stage with the loves of her life to where her family and friends were waiting for her.

Her and her boys (and Kwami does she love that -Her boys) were in the midst of getting congratulations when she heard someone clear their throat behind her. Bruce Wayne stood as tall as ever though he refused to meet any of her group's eyes.

"Ms. Dupain-Cheng, I apologize for my early behavior tonight, I was missing the whole story." He voice was steady but some shame shone through. His boys were behind him all of them also looking sheepish except Damian who was glaring at her new loves Jon in particular.

Marinette rolled her eyes. "You know as well as I do that the media are sharks, and events like these are a feeding frenzy for them. I tried my hardest to keep all of our reputations intact tonight, a lot harder than I should have since I had nothing to hide since I was the victim here. Yet, you in no regards of the truth, attempted to smear me with no hesitation. Personally the rest of you did nothing to me so I had no ill will towards you, but you forced my hand. The results of today are direct consequences of your own actions."

Before anyone else could speak up Damian did. "Kent," He nearly growled. "Why didn't you inform me as soon as you knew she was gone. As my best friend you should have informed me immediately!"

Jon answered lowly in a dark tone no had ever heard him use before. "My father tried to warn you father, Wayne, but when questioned you just dug your own grave deeper. Besides as my father explained to me it is not our job to make sure you two are aware of the going ons of your own household. Also you lost the right to be my best friend when you decided to be so cruel to the person you were supposed to love and then lie when confronted about it."

Marinette scoffed. "I figured when you finally noticed I was gone you'd assume I was off throwing a temper tantrum in hiding somewhere and that I'd come back. The fact that you weren't even worried about me in all that time I was missing is really telling."

Bruce glared Damian down from respond as his brothers held him back. "I just have one more question before we rightfully leave you alone. You said you had the ring return? Where could it possibly be?"

Marinette shrugged. "I had Adrien return it a couple months ago. Damian was fucking some girl in his apartment when Adrien walked in and he didn't even notice him set it on the dresser. I believe heard on the grapevine someone named Lila is claim she's Damian's true love and he had to keep up our engagement for appearances. She also claimed he proposed to her with a Wayne family heirloom until he get away from me. I guess maybe next time Damian should pay better attention to his house guests." She giggled sarcastically afterwards.

Bruce frowned as he nodded. "I see. I'll leave you all alone now. Have a wonderful evening, and congratulations." As he led his family away Marinette could hear whispered yelling but could make out a few phrases like "PR Nightmare", "priceless heirloom", "huge mistake", and even "major fuck up".

As soon as they were out of hearing range Marinette started laughing, causing everyone around her to laugh too. She finally calmed down eventually but her large smile never went away. This is the happiest and the most free she's felt in the long time.

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 3 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Transformations, Potions and Power-Up's

Welcome to my analysis of basic concepts in Miraculous. Let's talk about transformations, potions and power-up's. This one is going to be interesting.

Apparently, only child superheroes have a time limit and can use their power only once. And adults can use their powers many times and maintain their transformation.

I don't take Thomas Astruc's Twitter statements seriously, but he said that adults don't have to detransform because they can feed the kwami with their energy. What happens when energy runs out? Does it mean that holder of the miraculous dies and transformation drops? Or does transformation drops when the kwami grows tired enough? However, according to "Silencer", transformation can't be released until the holder says detransformation words or uses their power (applies to children only). Is that why Master Fu doesn't transform these days? Because he is old and doesn't have enough energy for Wayzz.

At the same time, Bunnix/Bunnyx held her transformation for several thousand years in "Timetagger" and she was still alive. Moreover, not only she was still alive, she hasn't aged a day. Alix still looked around 25 even after spending so much time in stone. Her sanity was also still intact. Does that mean that as long as people are transformed they are immortal and can't die of natural causes, can't get sick or be killed? Does the Miraculous pause all inner processes? Do people stop ageing when they are transformed? Does that mean that prolonged transformations essentially slowed down puberty for Marinette and Adrien because every Akuma attack (their transformation during this attack to be precise) acts as a pause for their growth process? Does that mean that transformed heroes don't need food, sleep or oxygen? And Alix doesn't experience any negative side-effects after prolonged transformation. A lot of questions must be answered here.

But apparently, the "adults can use their power many times without detransforming" rule does not apply to Gabriel. In "Heroes' Day" he turns Nathalie into Catalyst who gives Hawkmoth the power to "release as many akumas as he desires". Does that mean that he can't normally do it? On the other hand, in "Queen Banana" he creates another Akuma right after the fight with akumatized Chloe ended.

Do you remember this? In "Origins" we find out that akumatized butterflies can multiply. That's why Ladybug needs to purify them. So, does that mean that Scarlet Moth and Catalyst weren't necessary?

Hawkmoth's plan in "Heroes' Day" was actually very smart. However, it can fall apart when you remember that butterflies can multiply. How does that work? Why do they multiply? Could Gabriel akumatize Nathalie into Catalyst (akumatized object is something not very valuable, like a piece of paper), then break the akumatized object and release the Akuma into the world? Would that turn people only into copies of Catalyst? I wouldn't call this thing a plothole, exactly. I'm just curious because it's an unclear moment. Perhaps you could explain it as the element of a soft magic system with unclear rules. Because the magic system in Miraculous is a mix between the hard and soft system.

Adults without time-limited power have a serious advantage over children. Why does Master Fu give Ladybug and Black Cat to teenagers then? In the beginning, Fu doesn't know that Butterfly holder is an adult. Isn't it safer to give 2 most powerful Miraculouses to adults just in case? If Butterfly Holder is a child then 2 adults with more powerful Miraculous would win much faster. If Butterfly Holder is an adult as well, then the fight is more even.

We know the out-of-universe reason for doing this. There would be no story then. Miraculous holders have to be kids since it's a kids show. But in-universe it doesn't make sense. In "Furious Fu" Su Han even says that children are not allowed to handle the Miraculous at all according to the rules of the Order. Fu knows that children have a time limit. It looks like he deliberately sets them up for failure. Why?

Is that because children are easier to manipulate as they are most likely to trust Fu's judgement no questions asked? This reasoning doesn't look good for Fu, who is supposed to be a wise and kind mentor. Is that because children won't abuse their powers? Find a trustworthy adult then. Give us some kind of in-universe explanation!

If you can't explain it then do something with the time-limit rule. It's an important plot device, which contributes to tension and raises the stakes during fights. So, removing it is unwise. Consider giving adults a time limit as well then.

Or you can create different rules. Maybe Black Cat and Ladybug can't be wielded by adults, unlike other lower-tier Miraculous? Maybe Miraculous and Kwami can choose the wielder in some capacity, and this magical bond can't be changed? Do Kwamis feel a pull towards several people and Guardian then chooses the final holder? If there's no pull whatsoever, then Kwami won't be able to grant powers to this person? How much weight does the decision of a Guardian have?

I actually like this last idea the most. It makes sense and avoids plotholes at the same time preserving the time-limit rule. I spent less than 20 minutes figuring this out.

This way Fu gave Ladybug and Black Cat to children because he didn't have a choice. Plagg and Tikki gave him suggestions but these people didn't pass his tests. Marinette and Adrien are the last ones and they do pass. It adds some tension and showcases desperation on Master Fu's part. Magical pull doesn't always mean that potential holders are good people. That's why Miraculous sometimes end up in the wrong hands.

Insert a conversation between Marinette and Tikki or Plagg and Adrien about this choosing process, have them wonder about the bond Nooroo and Hawkmoth share.

Then add more information about bonding. The magical connection can be formed just like people form relationships if human and Kwami spend some time together. It nicely adds up with the reason why Master Fu gave Ladybug and Black Cat to teenagers. He could have given both jewels to adults without a bond and waited for the connection to form but alas, there was no time. He needed active holders right now, and waiting for some adult to come around wasn't an option. But here's the catch. Only decent, kind people with good intentions can earn and create a magical bond. And this has the potential for a truly delicious scenario (more on that later).

It's a very tricky situation. But these rules must be stated and figured out in the very beginning. Because it can create plotholes down the line.

Unification

Combining several different Miraculous is an interesting concept and fusion of powers has been used for a long time as a storytelling element. It's important for the plot in several episodes of seasons 3 and 4.

However, there's "Kwamibuster", where the worldbuilding is broken one more time. It is awfully inconsistent within itself just like "Chat Blanc", "Timetagger" and "Furious Fu". (How do writers keep doing this? I have no idea. But then again even "Avengers: Endgame" contradicts itself numerous times. It's truly miraculous how they managed to do this with their budget, I'm impressed).

For a moment let's ignore all absolutely awful priorities that Marinette has in this episode as well as the rule "you can't know the identity of your partner or else you will have to give up your miraculous". This rule is literally never mentioned again before or after this episode. It's just there and it doesn't make sense. I know it's hard to ignore, but one must try. Instead, let's focus on this dialogue below.

Master Fu clearly states that you can't merge the Miraculous. It could make you lose your mind. The only more or less acceptable unification is that of Ladybug and Black Cat.

What happens next? Marinette puts on every Miraculous without any problem just "to free Kwamis" and transforms into Multimouse. The only sign of her discomfort is a moment of dizziness that's gone in a few seconds. Moreover, it never happens again, it's never mentioned. Then she does the exact thing that Fu told her not to do and starts merging Miraculous left and right. She continues to do so in season 4 every other day. What? Of course, how could I forget Shadowmoth? Gabriel merges 2 Miraculous every time in season 4. He doesn't lose his mind.

You can't tell us that merging can make you lose your mind and then in the next scene show us the complete opposite. That's bad writing. If you need the concept of unification to work then cancel the "lose your mind" rule and instead say that the merging process tires you out. There's no lasting harm, just that you will be very tired. If you want to raise the stakes, then say that wielding more than one Miraculous requires a strong will and practice. It's possible, but you can't perform unification just like that.

In this case, you lay the groundwork for the plotline of Marinette and Adrien for season 4 and 5. This plotline is about mastering unification. Show us how our heroes practice with different combinations of Miraculouses outside of Akuma battles. Show how they are improving. Maybe, Ladybug and Chat Noir nearly lose in the season 3 finale because the unification still drains them. However, in season 4 they put more effort into their training and by the time season 5 rolls around they are good at this. They became a stronger team and partners because of that. Their training sessions are also a good set-up for the development of the love square. Nothing like this will happen, but a girl can dream.

Look, I get it. You want Marinette to be special. Unfortunately, you have made her too special. She starts to break the laws of your magic system. We don't see the process. One moment she has 0 knowledge about something and then she is already an accomplished master of the thing in question and often it happens in the same episode. Marinette somehow just knows about the properties of every Miraculous on-screen, but her training happened off-screen. We as the audience are left confused and wondering. Wait, how does she know this? Was there a missing episode? Was this mentioned in some comic? The audience keenly feels the lack of plot-relevant content and explanations.

Potions and Power-Ups

They are a marketing ploy to sell more toys and merch with character transformations. That's it. Are they useful for the story? Yes, they are sometimes. Do power-up's make sense as a worldbuilding element? I'm sorry to tell you this, but no.

Miraculous Grimoire contains lots of potion recipes for Kwamis. I liked that Kwamis can't read the grimoire to avoid giving information to malevolent holders, which implies that they can't lie to their holder about their powers. I talked about this in my previous posts.

Let's start with Ice Transformation. Apparently, in-universe its only useful characteristic and the thing that sets it apart from normal transformation is skates. Maybe, this transformation also has additional protection from the cold. Maybe. Miraculous makes heroes nearly invulnerable and enhances their physical abilities. I find it hard to believe that protection from elements is not included in the package. And that's it. If we remember that Miraculous holders have subconscious control over transformation's appearance, we can also assume that a person can have conscious control as well. The laws of the magic system in Miraculous allow Marinette to ask Tikki to create skates for this particular transformation. Potions aren't necessary for this. This way you can still sell new toy, but in-universe this works better.

Our next stop is Aqua Transformation. It gives heroes the ability to breathe underwater and fins. That's all. In "Syren" it appears that this transformation also makes them more agile and fast in the water. However, Ladybug's yo-yo worked just fine before Aqua form when she tried to drag Kim to the surface. Her movements underwater weren't restricted either with normal transformation. So their fighting ability is not affected by the potion.

Kwami can live without oxygen. I mentioned earlier that Bunnix with normal transformation in "Timetagger" spent several thousand years in stone without oxygen and probably in some kind of stasis. Do transformed heroes need oxygen? No. Then their inability to breathe underwater doesn't make sense. Therefore, a potion isn't necessary for this.

Next, let's talk about fins. They could appear through the conscious desire of the holder just like skates.

Honestly, "Timetagger" and "Chat Blanc" completely destroyed worldbuilding in Miraculous. These episodes just shouldn't exist. They aren't even consistent within themselves, nevermind the rest of the show, which is why I still don't understand why fandom has such a weird hard-on for them and for Bunnix. Oh, wait. On second thought, I get it. They were just fanservice after all.

Cosmo Bug an Astro Chat. Space power-up give heroes the ability to fly and exist without oxygen. Ancient grimoire had the recipe of space potion, apparently. And humans got into space in the second half of the 20-th century. Ok. That totally makes sense.

If ancient people invented a space potion, that could also mean that back in Ancient Egypt Ladybug and Black Cat holders could use advanced technology. But Su Han in "Furious Fu" is surprised to discover that Ladybug can just call Chat Noir. He assumed she would send a bird with a message. That means that unconscious control over transformation extends to the weapons of heroes. For Marinette and Adrien communication means smartphone with navigation, messages, trackers and Bluetooth earbuds. That's why magic gives them smart weapons. Su Han's words prove that the invention of the space potion is not possible. Unless space potion was also subjected to unconscious control over transformation. People couldn't imagine the possibility of space travel in Ancient Egypt, but they could imagine flight. So, perhaps, for heroes back then space potion simply meant wings.

We've established that heroes don't need oxygen. So, a potion isn't necessary for this. The ability to fly also could be achieved through conscious transformation.

That's all for this part of analysis. Let me know what you think. Stay tuned for the next meta. See you!

[miraculouscontent]

*long, deep, exhausted sigh*

So, I just wanna talk real quick about this whole “Adrienette” business in the special. Humor me for a bit.

On a narrative level, the show has designed Marinette and Adrien as endgame. They’re the ones at the forefront, they’re the ones crushing on one side of each other, and they’re the superheroes who protect Paris.

And yet, here I am, having just watched the special, feeling no desire whatsoever for them to be together. This isn’t even about their chemistry for once, no, this about how the show cannot let Marinette make decisions involving their relationship in any way without screwing her over.

She tries to give Adrien gifts? Either someone steals it, a ladybug conveniently flies in to distract her from signing it, or the way she gives it almost leads to the world ending.

She tries to move on because Adrien has openly stated that he’s interested in someone else? Her friends stand up and start loudly arguing about it.

She tries to roleplay - as per Tikki’s advice - in front of an Adrien statue to work up a confession? Oops! The statue was actually Adrien and she just humiliated herself!

She tries to give him up again when Adrien reiterates that he loves another girl? Tikki gives some vague platitude about surprises and the future, which apparently convinces Marinette not to take down her Adrien photos.

She tries a scheme to talk to Adrien? She fails. She tries to just talk to him normally? She fails more.

And now, past three seasons and one special, I’m not even surprised anymore. Any expectation of things going well for Marinette can basically be thrown out the window unless it’s for the sake of shipping fuel and nothing else.

We’re here, post-”Miracle Queen,” and Marinette continues to be a mess around Adrien. She’s still stammering, still freaking out when he touches her, and still getting stuck in situations with him that force her and him together.

People wonder why Marinette still hasn’t changed? They wonder why she can’t move on? I know why.

It’s because she isn’t allowed to, not just because of the narrative/universe/whatever, but because of her surroundings.

I just wanna make it clear that, by “Miracle Queen,” Kagami and Adrien are as close to dating as they’ve ever been, with Kagami kissing Adrien just above the lips in the special, so they’re either actually dating or on such intimate terms that they might as well be.

Marinette has every reason to both want to and try to move on. At this point, her crush can only hurt her. What the special verbalizes as “denial,” I see as Marinette doing whatever she can to only be a friend to Adrien because the girl he loves is not her.

Heck, even if it’s truly a matter of her being in denial, that’s not what the special goes for, because Marinette tells Alya outright, near the beginning, that she needs help seeing Adrien as “just a friend.” Alya vents to Nino about how she wants Marinette to just “be honest with her feelings,” but Marinette is and practically told Alya as much.

Marinette relates dancing with Adrien as “friendly,” along with anything else Alya tries to tease her about. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe it’s because she’s been through it before and has seen signs where there apparently weren’t any. Adrien asked her to dance in “Despair Bear” (at Chloe’s party, which the special incorrectly calls Chloe’s birthday party) but a few episodes pass and Adrien is suddenly asking her for romantic advice to get him with another girl.

Marinette freaks out because every time she tries to be normal, someone mocks her, or Adrien makes a motion to get way too close, and at this point, she has no idea when the next “scheme” will be to force her together with him. Marinette’s anxiety and stuttering are where they are because of how much she’s been through; all the embarrassment and failure that led to no good results, which means that any success at all with Adrien gives her that emotional high (thinly disguised as “love”) for him. I don’t have to wonder why she acts the way she does because I’m seeing it.

When she tries even harder to get to Adrien in Season 3, it’s specifically because of how bad she failed before. It’s, “well, none of these other crazy things I’ve done have worked, so that must mean I have to try even harder!”

Because being in Adrien’s class and being called a “friend” by him is getting her nowhere. He doesn’t spend time with her, he doesn’t know her (at least not enough to know that startling her with a prank won’t help her like him more), and the only forces putting them together are outside ones.

Marinette wants to be friends with Adrien here - she wouldn’t be insisting that everything was friendly between them if she didn’t - but basically no one will let her. Marinette even gave a list of Adrien-related things that she stopped doing nowadays, and what happens?

Alix tries to nail her over something else that she still does, because apparently progress doesn’t matter, and the “joke” that the special keeps trying to hammer home is that Marinette is a wreck who’s still very much into Adrien even though she's trying not to be.

Then, there’s Alya, and I have not been this annoyed with her in a LONG time.

The worst thing to do to someone trying to get over something is to keep bringing it up to them, and Alya was relentless in this special. From start to finish, Alya was doing whatever she could to remind Marinette that her crush is still very much there and it’s agony. Alya is constantly groaning and making faces whenever Marinette denies that there’s anything special about what she did with Adrien, to the point where she pulls a “The Puppeteer 2″ and tries to force them together herself.

And the mocking does not end. I counted at least three instances of Alya using “friend” sarcastically to describe how Marinette felt towards Adrien, and that’s only counting the ones where she used actual airquotes.

At one point during the beginning, Marinette goes to Alya to talk about how she can’t sit next to Adrien. Alya proceeds to say that “there’s still time to get off the plane” and goes on about how “romantic” New York will be. Marinette freaks out at the mental images that enter her head and screams that she “has to get out of here” (not “I need to be moved,” but a clear indication of get me off this plane I DO NOT want this) but when Ms. Mendeleiev asks what’s wrong, Alya doesn’t ask for Marinette to be taken off the plane (which hasn’t taken off yet) and just asks her to be moved elsewhere.

It’s outright uncomfortable how much Alya keeps pressing the issue of Marinette feeling “more than friendly” feelings to Adrien. When Adrien is leaving New York to go back with his father, Alya yells at Marinette and makes it about Marinette’s crush, as if Marinette can’t want Adrien to stay unless she has a crush on him.

The special makes Marinette’s situation all about “do you have a crush on him or not” and it’s awful. It hammers away at Marinette, repeatedly, then continues the typical Treatment of Marinette “humor” by having her walk by all the couples (DJWifi, Myvan, and Julerose) in the beginning of the special while she’s on her way to the bathroom of the plane, then jostles the plane at just the right time for her to be soaked and get toilet paper in her hair.

This special never should have been about Marinette trying to confess to Adrien (and, y’know, forcing her too). That’s not important here. What was important to teach Marinette was, “You have a crush, and that’s okay even if he likes someone else as long as you’re working on it and know what you want to do about it.”

Marinette’s agency is completely stripped away for this entire special because everything is a matter of convenience or by force of the plot. Even by the matter of Chat Noir not being in Paris, it’s technically Marinette’s fault because she tried to convince Adrien’s dad to let Adrien go (the scene of her deciding to do this, by the way, also comes off as if she’s not allowed to want this for him and be just his friend). The show doesn’t acknowledge it because it can’t, but the implications are there.

When Marinette suffers, it’s most likely because of Adrien, whether it’s his fault or just the stars aligning to form a middle finger at her. No matter what she tries to do, fate will work against her.

But here’s the special, insisting that they’re “made for each other,” pointing it out more than once, verbally, by one of the characters.

Here’s the tea, honey: if Marinette and Adrien were really made for each other, then I wouldn’t have to be told that they are.

The more that I’m told, the less I actually believe it, and this special comes nowhere close to making me believe it.

Instead of showing me that they should be together, all this special does is find any contrived situation it can to force them to interact, without realizing that all it’s doing is proving that they shouldn’t be together specifically because the interaction needs to be forced. If Adrienette was a ship I wanted to consider worthy of being endgame, the special wouldn’t need to shove them together needlessly.

It wouldn’t need to have their airplane seats happen to be right next to each other.

It wouldn’t need them to happen to wake up before everyone else to watch the clouds.

It wouldn’t need the two sets of automatic doors to stop working to trap them in the area in-between, twice.

It wouldn’t need them to happen to stumble into the same room together so someone can comment on how they’re, again, “made for each other.”

It wouldn’t need the magic hot dog they eat to be the one that happens to send them up in the air so they can dance together.

And it especially wouldn’t need the contrived moments of Marinette accidentally forcing her seat back so Adrien falls on top of her, or the plane jostling at just the right time to force her against him, or her and Adrien touching hands (ala “Gamer”) before she looks away in embarrassment.

Heck, I don’t even like Adrien, but with how his and Kagami’s relationship seems to be going, I’m disgusted for him too when Nino is going full-force on trying to get Adrien to notice Marinette. Adrien has no idea that any of this is going on and is just being strung along with all of it, whereas Marinette is stuck along for the ride whether she likes it or not.

People can have whatever opinion of Lukanette they want, but one person who didn’t make things worse for her was Luka himself. He shows up briefly in the opening, giving her a ride on his bike to catch up with the bus that’s taking the class to the airport. When Marinette worries that they won’t make it, Luka insists that they will because he knows how important the trip is for her. Marinette asks if he’s referring to Adrien and nervously tries to insists that she and Adrien are just friends and that’s all she sees Adrien as.

But Luka doesn’t mock her, nor laugh at her for it, because he doesn’t have to and he gets it. Unlike people who constantly try to force Marinette’s hand, Luka lets her figure things out on her own.

And when they finally come to a stop next to the bus, he doesn’t put any emphasis on Adrien. All he tells Marinette is that the importance of the trip is for her to get some clarity.

That is the closest thing to what I wanted (and just emphasizes how much I adore Luka and how refreshing his interactions with Marinette are), but it’s the farthest thing from what she actually gets.

How am I supposed to believe that Marinette and Adrien have a genuine relationship deserving of endgame when her feelings are constantly being forced in one direction? How am I supposed to believe anything about them when it’s not natural? How am I supposed to believe that this is the couple that’s “made for each other” when the show is so desperate to make me believe it that they’ll say it outright?

Because, obviously, I don’t believe any of that, and all this special has done is make my disdain for the love square even stronger.

That’s a failing grade if I’ve ever seen one. What a waste.

[flightfoot]

My Top 10 Favorite Miraculous Ladybug Characters

Note: this is FAVORITE, not necessarily the ones I think are best. These are the characters that bring me the most joy, which while it’s often connected to how well-developed they are or how much I enjoy their character types, those aren’t the only factors. 

1. Adrien Agreste

A sunshine cat boy with a penchant for puns? One who’s under a lot more pressure, who’s had a worse time in his life than anyone knows... even, seemingly, himself? And with a looming identity crisis on top of that, what with trying to figure out who HE is underneath the “model son” act he puts on as Adrien and the “clown” act he puts on as Chat Noir? How could I not put him high up on the list?

With his hidden depths and the hidden tragedy of his terrible family, I really enjoy analyzing Adrien, peeling back his layers to try to figure out what he might be thinking and feeling, where his story is gonna go next. 

2.  Alya Cesaire

Marinette’s best friend since her arrival at Francois-Dupont, Alya made a splash within the first few minutes of her stay, standing up to Chloe in order to help Marinette, a total stranger, because it was the right thing to do. Her example helped inspire Marinette... along with her recklessness, with the way she biked after Stoneheart. But thanks to Alya’s presence at that first akuma fight, Ladybug and Chat Noir got introduced to the world, and Ladybug found the courage to enter her first fight with a supervillain.

3. Marinette Dupain-Cheng

The star of the show and one of the best-developed female characters I’ve ever seen, Marinette is truly a sight to behold. She can be clumsy, petty, lose her temper, and get so caught up in a goal that she loses sight of some other important things. But she’s also kind and considerate, giving chances to people she doesn’t like - and has good reason not to like. 

She just FEELS so much like a real person, with all the quirks that come with that. 

Also really appreciate that she’s allowed to have a diverse range of interests, from fashion design to video games. She can have an intense crush, but while that heavily affects her (as is common at that age), she has plenty of interests and activities outside of it as well.

In short, Marinette is a “strong character who is female” rather than a “strong female character”. Or, maybe instead of “strong”, I should say “multifaceted with great depth”, as that captures it better.

Marinette’s place on my favorites list shuffles around quite a bit. If I was solely ranking this on strength of character, I’d probably put her at the top - while Adrien also has some good depths, he doesn’t get as much focus as Marinette does, plus it’s not as novel to see a guy allowed to have that kind of depth.

But this list is about personal enjoyment more than anything, which means that it’s affected by outside factors, and well... Saltinette is a thing. And it can be hard for me to fully enjoy Marinette when Saltinette’s lurking in the back of my mind, even though Saltinette has very little in common with Marinette.

Incidentally, that’s also part of why Alya’s so high on the list - I enjoyed her to begin with, but seeing how badly she was treated in saltfics, so constantly, eventually moved her up my favorites list partly out of spite.

4. Plagg

The cheese-loving gremlin may not be the most responsible kwami around, but he’s one of the funniest, and he cares about Adrien a lot - which is good, considering how small his support network is, and how easily most of it can be cut off. Whether it’s telling a joke or playing the piano, Plagg’s always there to cheer Adrien up when he really needs it. He sometimes pushes Adrien to do things he probably shouldn’t, like not telling Ladybug he was going to New York, but ultimately it’s because he wants Adrien to be happy, screw the rules.

5. Nino Lahiffe

Steadfastly loyal, Nino’s the best sort of friend you could have - at least, Adrien seems to think so! He’s an awesome boyfriend as well, unwilling to abandon Alya, even when the situation seems hopeless, whether it involves zombies or a spider sister.

Plus he managed to secretly throw Adrien a raging party in order to make up for Adrien never getting a proper birthday party before (Bubbler didn’t exactly work out), how cool is that?!

I just wish we saw more of him outside of supporting others. It’s an important role, but it IS his main one. We have at least seen him being a movie director, djing, just working on his other interests, which is cool.

6. Kagami Tsurugi

She’s badass, fierce, and knows what she wants. But that’s not all she is. She lives under a stifling mother, one who she has to work around, evade, and lie to on a regular basis in order to get a chance to connect with others - if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have been able to spend nearly as much time with Adrien as she did, and she wouldn’t have befriended Marinette at all.

Not that she’s experienced in making friends - she really wants to, but doesn’t really know how, having to rely on online guides to get an idea of how to make small talk and connect. 

Judging by her mannerisms, such as her flat affect and major trouble with social interactions, I’m also guessing she’s autistic, which is pretty cool.

7. Alix Kubdel

Bunnix is badass, and you can see that in her younger counterpart. I love just how DONE she is with some of the girl squad’s shenanigans, she’s more of a fan of cutting the gordian knot than executing convoluted plans.

Also her friendship with Nathaniel is adorable, I love them teasing each other.

8. Marc Anciel

He’s cute, shy, creative, and I loved Reverser and binged a lot of Marcnath fics.

9. Nathaniel Kurtzberg

Reverser and Evillustrator were both awesome episodes, and again, binged a lot of Marcnath fics so... yeah.

10. Sabine Cheng

I love how caring she is towards Marinette, and her just generally being pretty sensible - but also getting very excited about stuff she cares about, like hers and Tom’s giddy joy at getting to test out Max’s video game, and how thrilled she and Tom were about Marinette wanting to visit Shanghai. Also go to learn a little more about her roots in Shanghai, which was cool.

----

Note: While the top 5 are likely to remain in the top 5, a lot of the bottom 5 might go on and off the list. I also ended up leaving out specials-only characters, though I have enjoyed a lot of the new heroes they introduced.

[exn0bisstudios]

As a preface: no need to answer if you don’t feel comfortable with it,I know people sometimes don’t like these questions so no pressure if you’re one of them! Who likes kids, who would like to be a parent (if their partner also wanted that of course!), and who is good with kids? Thank you!

Well, firstly, thank you for your concern! I'm okay with these topics so long as it's not about me personally, so don't worry! That said, though, I'll put this under a cut since the topic might be uncomfortable for some people.

CW for: talk involving conception, infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage

Edited 5/16 - Changes to include more inclusive language. My apologies! 

Since we're talking about the ROs and kids, let us talk about MC too for a sec.

It should be noted that it is typically challenging for a Seer to bear children/impregnate someone. The corruption that comes with their Void powers usually renders them infertile, or at least close to. However, it's not unheard of for a Seer to have children. Still, it usually results in a difficult pregnancy and can be dangerous to both the carrier and the child. Additionally, any child born from a Seer (either parent) would be Dream-touched.

That said, as we know, MC is a very special Seer. Canonically, their powers have not rendered them infertile, though their kid would still end up Dream-touched. However, I will be leaving it up to players to decide if their MC can or can't have biological kids for other reasons. And, obviously, adoption is also very much an option!

Now on to the ROs!

Mira

Mira likes kids well enough, and they're usually very good with them. They struggle a bit with dealing with noble children. Still, Mira's kind and empathetic nature tend to have children warming up to them regardless. They used to help take care of the young recruits back at the Order, both daily routine stuff and some training.

They would absolutely love to have a family one day, but it's something they kinda push to the back of their mind and try not to think about. Their lifestyle doesn't lend itself to the stability and safety necessary for raising children, considering they could be killed in action any day. They think it would be grossly irresponsible to have a family, then end up dead somewhere and leave them hanging. Mira was an orphan themself, and they know firsthand how hard life is for kids on their own. They have no desire to contribute to that lifestyle or put their own potential child through that.

If there ever came a time where they could lay down their weapons for good, though, then yes. They'd want to start a family in whatever way they could. Though not opposed to having biological children, both masc & fem Mira would prefer to adopt. Again, being an orphan themself, they would choose to take in a child. Mira would ideally like 2-3 kids so they can have a big family to grow old with, and they'd be a very supportive and doting parent. They'd probably struggle with discipline.

Nova

Children confuse the absolute shit out of Nova, and the way mortals procreate admittedly terrifies them. Nightmares are not born in the same sense that mortals are; they just kinda pop into existence fully formed. When Nova first learned about mortal procreation, they had a minor mental breakdown. The idea of another, smaller living thing growing inside someone strikes them as distinctly horrific. They've done their best to accept the idea at this point in their life, but mainly they cope with it by ignoring its existence. They see a pregnant person and basically go, 'suddenly I have no eyes.' Babies and children continue to confuse them despite their best efforts, and they have no idea how to interact with them. You put a child around Nova, and you're liable to hear them genuinely asking the kid why they are so small and dumb.

Nova's mortal body is also infertile by design. They chose this shortly after they realized they actually enjoyed sex and would do it again. They don't know if it would be possible for them to become pregnant/impregnate someone, considering they're not actually mortal. Still, they didn't want to risk it.

The only time Nova would consider starting a family is if it was something their partner(s) really, really wanted. They'd sit down and have an honest talk about how it's something that they know nothing about, that the process scares them, and that they are absolutely going to need help learning how to handle it all. But, if their partner is willing to accept all that, Nova would be willing to try. Though again, they don't know if they can procreate with a mortal, so they'd probably recommend going for a surrogate or adoption. Eventually, Nova'd grow into a good parent, very supportive, and surprisingly level-headed.

Stella

They don't have too much of an opinion on children, which shows in how they don't really know how to interact with them. Stella feels super awkward around kids, and they're more likely to tell them to shoo. Their own childhood has tainted their views, and being around children brings up things they'd rather not think about. Honestly, the fastest way to make Stella disappear is to put a child nearby.

Deep down, though, they like the idea of starting a family. It would take a lot of encouragement to get them to admit that. It'd take even more to help them process long-ignored family-related trauma and unlearn a whole lot of unhealthy habits. With the proper support from their partner(s), though, they'd really like to give things a try. Fem Stella wouldn't mind carrying a child. Still, both fem & masc Stella generally don't care if their kid is biological or adopted.

Stella would make for a very nervous parent, and they'd be absolutely terrible at discipline. They'd probably helicopter and be overprotective and would have to be reminded by their partner(s) that things will be okay.

Désiré

So a bit of history: Dez is one of the only two ROs who already has child-rearing experience. His best friend and second-in-command, Alix, was born and raised in the brothel with him. While he grew up to be an errand boy and bodyguard, she became one of the courtesans. He took up smuggling and worked his ass off to get them out of there, but unfortunately, Alix became pregnant before they could escape. Alix's son, Dimitri, was born in the cabin of the first ship Dez ever owned.

Alix eventually married Catarina, the crew's healer, who has acted as Dimitri's other mother. Thus, while Dez is 'officially' Dimitri's uncle, he has always been his only father-figure. Dimitri is 14 by the time of the game and is still a very active part of Désiré's life. You'll actually get a chance to meet him in-game since he's got a place on Dez's crew (he's the cabin boy)!

Now that history is managed, it's safe to say that Désiré would love to start a family one day. It doesn't matter to him how, though going the biological route, let it be known he's excellent at tending to pregnancy needs. He's a wonderful parent, generally gentle while supportive and encouraging, and is comfortable being stern when it's called for.

Vittore Simone

Sadly I can't get into the specifics of Vittore Simone's thoughts on kids and family without it becoming a spoiler. However, I can say that he vowed when he was young that he'd never have kids and has never thought of it since. Going forward, it would never be something that crossed his mind unless brought up by his partner and would be something he'd defensively refuse at first. Later, he'd come back with apologies and to have a more open conversation on the matter to express his reservations and fears.

Suffice to say that the idea of being a father absolutely terrifies him, and he has always taken great pains to avoid it ever happening. Even just the thought is enough to send him into panic attacks. His partner will need to be patient with him and accept that this is something he may genuinely never be able to do for the sake of his own health and any future child's. It would take a lot of time, reassurance, work, healing, support, and understanding before Vittore Simone ever agreed to give parenthood a shot. It will not be an easy road for him or his partner. It would likely be a road that never truly ends, and he'd need to be sure that they can both accept that without damaging their own relationship. He would try, though. He would do his damnedest. And, thankfully, there will never be any doubt that he genuinely does love his kid.

As a father, initially, he would constantly be terrified he was hurting his kid somehow. He would struggle with being overly permissive & overprotective at the same time. He's liable to have a panic attack any time the kid cries for the first several years. His partner will have to help him get through 'I'm a terrible father, this was a mistake' breakdowns periodically. Slowly, though, he'll build some confidence and be more comfortable interacting and expressing himself with his kid. He'll always be supportive, and he'll work his hardest to be sure his family knows he loves them unconditionally. His partner will have to accept the role of disciplinarian, though. That's never going to be something he'll be able to do on his own (but of course, he'll be there to support them in those conversations. He doesn't want to make them the 'bad guy' by any means).

Andrai

The other RO with child-rearing experience! Andrai has 15 younger siblings (yes, you heard me correctly) and absolutely adores them all. They're all grown now, but he loved taking care of them when they were little, and he still dotes on them whenever he can, in his own way. In general, he loves kids. He just thinks they're adorable. And, despite appearances, he's excellent with them. Kids love this man, they flock to him, and he has no problem with that. It confuses most onlookers.

The idea of starting his own family turns him to absolute mush. And, he'd love to, so so much. Adoption, biological, and surrogacy are okay with him. It would be up to his partner to limit exactly how many kids they have since Andrai would just say he wants them all. He makes an excellent dad, albeit quiet, and is unwaveringly supportive. He's comfortable with discipline and is the type to encourage self-assessing behavior. He's excellent at giving advice and genuinely just likes spending time with his kids and being involved in their lives.

He's probably not the one you would peg as the 'domestic bliss' type, but he absolutely is.

Vzridmi

She's very comfortable with kids since communal rearing is very common in ork communities, and she'd love to have a family one day. Some kids unused to orks might find her a bit intimidating just because of her size, but in general, children think she's fun to be around. She doesn't necessarily think about it too much, though, at this point in her life. It's not something she sees as being on the table for quite some time - she has research and exploration to be doing, after all.

Whenever she was ready to settle down for a family, she'd be comfortable with carrying a child herself, surrogacy, or adopting. She would really like to have at least one biological child if possible, though. She would make for an entertaining mother, excited about her child's life and ever-supportive of their interests and pursuits. She's comfortable with all the aspects of child-rearing. Still, She would definitely need her partner's advice if they ever discovered their kid was dealing with bullying. She'd need to be reminded by her partner not to be overprotective - she's not above threatening others with her war-hammer if they upset her baby.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

003 for nino from miraculous ladybug! (or any other character from that show that you want to do this for) <3

nino

how i feel about this character:

OH BOY !!! well, it’s probably pretty obvious at this point that he’s my favorite character in mlb !!! he just cares about everyone SO MUCH and he’s SUCH a good friend! he’s reliable and awkward and speaks through music better than words, he’s insecure, prone to assumptions, a generally sweet guy,,, FRICK i love him <3

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

well, obviously i am a huge fan of djwifi. i think they’re adorable and they compliment each other so well and just. ahhhhhhhhh. but adrinino is also Really freaking cute,,,

my favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

hmmm,,, well, obviously adrien and nino is like. The Best Friendship in the show, but other than the obvious,,, nino and mari and kim being childhood friends is something that can be So personal,,, and i also like thinking that chloe and nino could’ve been great friends had they let it happen :(

my unpopular opinion about this character:

idk he doesn’t deserve any salt that he gets. “oh but nino believed lila over mari--” no that was just bad writing and also he’s like thirteen or fourteen like my God he’s a child

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

he should’ve been the guardian over mari. i’m sorry but,,, i honestly think he would’ve been better suited. not only would it cause a Lot less stress for mari, but then nino could be in charge of handing out the miraculouses and would get to know her and adrien’s identities, so then she wouldn’t have that crisis. knowing their identities would also allow him to support his friends the best that he can. also, he and wayzz have SUCH a sweet friendship and i just would’ve enjoyed that a lot more <3

favorite friendship for this character:

i mean already kind of answered this one lol

my crossover ship:

uhhhhhhhhhhhh none???

kim

how i feel about this character:

freaking. i freaking love him. he has SO MUCH DEPTH that people don’t see !!! so many people see him as the bully-surface level type or just the idiot (albeit, that can be SO FUN and actually here are some funny fics about that--they’re all pretty short: kim being “scared” of monkeys, kim & kagami bonding, kim and max accidentally discover h*wkm*th’s lair). he just. all in all, he’s a good kid who genuinely cares so much but isn’t great at expressing it and he has GREAT character development and you can see his character growth from s1 to s2; from letting chloe boss him around to doing what he loves. it’s just. it’s SO GOOD. also, he’s so freaking funny. “meta-who?”

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

uhhhhh i mean, kim x ondine is cute ! i can see the appeal of kim x max, but i do kind of prefer their friendship, tbh

my favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

hmm, always a sucker for kim and max friendship because DUH (i mean,,, the way that max screamed kim’s name was syren dragged him under water,,, the way they stayed behind together in zombiezou,,, they care so much,,,), like i said abive: i am a firm believer in kim, mari, and nino growing up besties, kim and alix is always a good one,,, tbh, i also love the prospect of a kim and rose and kim and kagami friendship <3

my unpopular opinion about this character:

oooooooo SO MANY okay so uhhhhh hmmmm where to start... he is the Number One believer (after adrien) of chloe redemption (and prolly hates the s3 finale lol) and is never truly able to give up on her becoming a better person despite the way she treated him (he just. he sees the good in everybody...), carapace is his favorite superhero (especially after working with him lol--he definitely had a bit of a crush on carapace ngl), he likes trying new things and often asks his friends to teach him about stuff they’re interested in: he and rose scrapbooked together, he cooked with mari, followed alya around while she chased lb and chat (he took the pictures), etc... he works out with alix and mari (and convinces max to join them sometimes), he and markov are besties actually, he has adhd, his sexuality is “doesn’t care about gender, doesn’t acknowledge his sexuality because he doesn’t want a label he just wants to love because he has so much of it to give”, his mom is a hairdresser and his dad is a biological anthropologist, he like stickers, max was the one who told him that he should try swimming because he saw how much fun kim had while doing it at school, on bad days kim doesn’t think that he’s a good enough person to be king monkey. about that: he takes his redemption arc very seriously and i will get to that with the next question...

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

so he was incredibly ashamed of himself after dark cupid--that was a huge realization he came to. he did do some pretty crappy things before that, though: he was mean to ivan, helped get alya suspended... and he did it all for mean!chloe. there’s no way he’s just all buddy-buddy with everyone without like. talking to them about it. so what i’m saying is, i wish we got to see him apologize and make amends. i wish we saw alya forgive him and ivan not being ready to forgive him yet but appreciating the apology. even if it was just in the background, i wish we saw a friendly relationship between ivan and kim develop: see ivan begin to forgive him and for them to become friends...

favorite friendship for this character:

i mean already kind of answered this one lol

my crossover ship:

uhhhh none???

[f0xfordcomma]

Hello!! Happy FFWF!! Is there anything in particular that you find hard to write? Are there any WIPs that you've just absolutely given up on cause you think it'll go nowhere?? (would you share a bit of it? :D)

Croisty! Happy ffw tuesday (which tbh is earlier than I thought I'd be able to do these, so be proud of me lol)

I wish I had more to go off of in my writing portfolio to answer this question, but I think the thing I have the hardest time writing/ have avoided writing in my wips is just unfettered angst or like horror/ violence. Like character death? Gore? Fight scenes? (ooooh baby I SUCK at fight scenes) all of /that/ is just not really my forte as a writer. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to hurting my characters, but hurt/comfort is more where its at for me. You've read my stuff, so you know how emotionally driven a lot of my writing is. I think I would have a hard time writing more graphic/ heartbreaking/ violent *stuff* in my style. Idk, it would probably be a good thing for me to practice.... but.... I don't wanna (hands on hips) sooooo I'm not planning to really do anything quite like that anytime soon.

As far as abandoned wips go, I've got plentyyyy (or just verrrrrrry dusty wips that are not quite abandoned but are sitting very patiently on the shelf waiting for me to have the time to get back to them) Violent/ angsty/ deathy/ fighty abandoned wips though? Not so much.

But for you, mon petit croissant, have a bit of a miraculous ladybug reveal fic that I wrote one night after having a little ~ouid~ and convincing my husband to put on a sheet face mask with me that I now have no intention of finishing (oops, rip me).

okaaaaayyy so this is actually pretty dang long lol but I'm going to share the whole thing with you because I just re-read it for the first time in months and its pretty funny ~if you ask me~ so anyway... under the cut <3

NIGHT OFF

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a totally crazy idea to take a night off.

Besides, Shadowmoth’s akumatizations had slowed down considerably in the past few months, and he rarely ever sent out two akumas in one day. The battle that she and Chat had fought that morning was brutal, but they’d come out victorious against HoneyBadger. Still, the fight had left her exhausted and wound up. Shadowmoth was planning something, she was sure of it. She just couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out what it was.

Ladybug was stressed.

Add to that, the fact that end-of-term exams were starting up next week and she’d not had nearly enough time during dead week to actually cram. Something about black butterflies and cranky kwamis and a cheeky cat (who, in recent weeks, had been considerably less cheeky.) Not to mention, she had been receiving an awful lot of memes, seemingly without preamble, from Paris’ favorite male model. Nino thought it was hilarious. Alya thought it was suspicious. Marinette thought it was confusing.

Marinette was stressed.

All of it was stressful.

*

Alya knew when her best friend was stressed. She could usually gauge the amount of Marinette’s exasperation by the frequency with which her bangs went flying from her face, propelled by a huff and a heavy sigh. Right now, Marinette’s bangs were a mess.

“Okay, girl. You need a night off.”

“What? No, I’m fine! Really! Plus, I can’t really afford to take a night off right now, Alya… I don’t know what Shadowmoth ha—”

“Yeah, no. I’m stopping you right there. For the next twenty-four hours, this space is a Ladybug-talk free zone,” she gestured vaguely around her bedroom, which was scattered with printouts and pictures that Marinette had brought over to work on nailing down Hawkmoth’s possible location using Alya’s beloved akuma-map. “I know, I know. It pains me more than it pains you, truly. But I’m doing this for you. Tonight: you, me, drinks, distractions. You are taking a night off.”

“But Alya! What if—”

“Hush, you know that’s incredibly unlikely. And, in the event of this IF you are so set on, you know that cat boy and I will have your back. Even drunk ladybugs can purify akumas when they have the clawed crusaders on their side.”

“I can’t believe you gave in to his silly nickname.”

“It is a badass nickname and you are just jealous that we bonded.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m annoyed.”

“Mhmm… keep telling yourself that, girl. Now, back to the matter at hand: what kind of drunk do you want to get tonight? Classy or trashy? I still have that peach stuff from last month, but if we are thinking classy I might need to call in the reserves to get us some decent wine.”

“You won’t need to call in anybody, Al, because I am definitely not getting drunk tonight.”

“Night off, Marinette. Drunkenness is a prerequisite.”

“Can’t we just watch movies or something? I really don’t know if that’s too good of an idea…”

“Girl, we watch movies every night. This is a night off. Don’t think I don’t see you stressing all throughout movie night every week, anyway. You need to take your mind off Ladybug,” she gestured at the mess that had consumed her bedroom. “And get your mind back on Marinette. Superhero or no, you’re still a teenage girl who is supposed to be enjoying the last few months of college.”

Marinette pouted.

“Stop pouting. You know you deserve to have normal girl fun.”

“But Alya I—”

“No buts.” An unnervingly devious look crossed Alya’s face. “Unless it is your butt in that pair of skinny jeans that you and I both know you-know-who loves. Boys will be here in twenty. Get to it, girl.”

Marinette just gaped at her. She didn’t even notice that Alya had grabbed her phone, but alas, there was the tell-tale ping.

Alya Cesaire → Akuma class OGs chat

Alya: anyone down for a little last minute get together—my door is open and my bar is stocked

Nino: HELL YEAH babe!

NL: got a new mix i’ve been meaning to show you… so entertainments on me fam!

Alix: This thing got an itinerary or just drunkenness for drunkenness sake?

Alya: the latter, natch.

Alix: Sick! Count me in.

Kim: same!

Rose: Do you need us to bring anything?

Alya: anything you feel like sharing

Alya: otherwise, just yourselves!

Alya: Agreste~you better bring us some of that expensive shit that i know your pops keeps somewhere in that castle of yours

Alya: no fancy wine, no admittance

Alya: the rest of you peasants just bring wtvr

Adrien: uhhhhhhhhhh

Adrien: ALYA

Adrien: dang it! You know I feel obligated to steal wine from my dad’s cellar now

Adrien: do you know how scary my dad is!!!??

Nino: DUDEEEE

Nino: DO IT you wont!

Adrien: shuddup Nino

Marinette: Adrien you totally don’t have to! Alya is just being **extra** Alya today

Alya: i plan a night off for this girl

Alya: and this is the thanks i get??????

Alya: can ya’ll believe this?

Alya: ridiculous

Zoe: UTTERLY RIDICULOUS

Adrien: utterly ridic

Adrien: dangit

Zoe: lol first! sorry adrien

Marinette: ugh ty I guess Als xxxxx

Alya: awe she DOES care, youre welcome babe!

Alya: so sunshine… about that wine?

Adrien: yeah yeah yeah

Adrien: use my people pleasing against me why dontcha

Alya: gladly <3

“Alya, stop bullying Adrien.”

“No way, girl. Giving that boy a task is the only way to ensure he shows up. Speaking of which… butt, jeans, go, now!”

The doorbell rang. Nino had perfected the quickest route to Alya’s house from every part of Paris years ago. Yes, he was whipped; and yes, he was proud of it.

“ALYA! I have to clean all of this up and I have to go home to get those jeans that you’re so dead set on and…”

“No you don’t. Kaalki?”

“Right here, Ms. Rouge.”

“YOU USED VOYAGE TO BRING ME JEANS?”

“No way girl! Don’t be silly. Kaalki and Roaar just volunteered to be my errand kwamis.”

“You guys do realize that I am the guardian, right?”

“Of course, that’s why we worked so hard to get everything that you need for tonight.”

“I—you… wait is this my good bra? How did you—”

“Us kwamis pay attention, Marinette.” Tikki cuddled up to her cheek.

“Et tu, Tikki?”

The ladybug kwami just giggled and made her way to the pile of papers scattered across Alya’s bed, starting to organize them back into neat stacks.

“Night. Off.” Alya punctuated each word with a shove and a smack on the bum, directing Marinette toward the bathroom and shutting her in to get ready while she got the door for Nino.

[exciting]

As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book. 

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir  (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel. 

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that). 

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations. 

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected. 

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend. 

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus). 

[emsylcatac]

😂🥺😭😗😞 with marichat

Ok I decided to try my hand at a bit of angst here; and make it waaaayyy longer than it should (yes because I’ve decided to completely ignore my own rules from the beginning of this game like the clown I am). I’m sorry in advance for the length (I even had to put a cut aha) and lack of crack writing 😬

[Edit: Now with more parts!]

Part 1 · Part 2 · Part 3

* * * * *

Marinette gripped the railing of the balcony tightly, trying to get her breathing under control. She had not been expecting that. Chat Noir. 

Chat Noir, who she had fought Hawkmoth and Mayura with during four long years. Chat Noir, who had sacrificed himself for her more times that she could count. Chat Noir, that she had last seen two years ago. 

Chat Noir, her partner, that she missed oh so very much.

And here he was, still naive and filled with wonder and happy, unaware of everything that had happened and certainly not understanding why Marinette had promptly fled the room at the sight of him to avoid anyone seeing her just loose it and cry for no apparent reason.

She had been having a nice time with her friends at Alya and Nino’s apartment; everything was going great and they had fun until Alix rang and came in with a Chat Noir that looked like he was 15 years old at most. Marinette had forgotten how much of a baby face he still had at that age. Alix explained that she had randomly found him in the streets and that he had been transported into their time by a sort of time travel akuma. Marinette had an inkling idea as to how exactly she really found him but it’s not like she could share the information. 

“All we have to do is keep him company until the Ladybug from his time resets everything!” Alix had informed them. Easy. (Ha! Who was she kidding).

So here she was. 20 years old Marinette, breaking down over seeing a younger version of her partner. She felt pathetic. Adrien, who had been invited as well, had also looked very shook at the sight of Chat Noir and had immediately excused himself; she supposed it had to do with everything that had happened with his Father being Hawkmoth. She couldn’t really blame him.

“Hey. Are you all right?” a soft voice startled her from behind. She didn’t need to turn around to know whose voice it was.

She tried to keep it together and closed her eyes tightly, hoping it would magically work. She felt a hand coming to rest on her shoulder. It didn’t work.

“Hum… I saw you running there and… Uh… You looked like you’d need company.” he finished nervously. 

‘Always so concerned for the others, Kitty’, she thought. She chuckled sadly.

“I…” she sighed. “Yes, I’m fine!” she lied, a waver in her voice. She turned around to face him and– “No.” she started to sob again, “No I am not fine at all!” and she collapsed into his arms, and she was a crying mess, and Oh god he must not understand anything yet she couldn’t find it in herself to loose her grip on him.

He so ever patiently let her cry her eyes out while patting her back softly and whispering what she assumed were words of reassurance.

While she sobbed uncontrollably and hold onto him for the first time in two years, flitting images jostled in her mind from the final fight and the aftermath. A Chat Noir held by Hawkmoth who had stabbed him with a sword hidden in his cane. One that looked completely erased and absent of whatever stories she was retelling him; she had been worried that day but he had shook his head and said it was fine. Another Chat Noir, completely shocked at discovering who was behind Mayura’s mask; one furiously charging towards Hawkmoth. One who was crying on a roof one night; he never told her why. And then… 

…The last one. The one who told her he needed time. That he needed to retreat for a while for his own sanity. That he wasn’t ready for an identity reveal, not yet. How had things come down to that? Ladybug didn’t know. She couldn’t know. And he said he would let her know when the time was right.

‘It seemed that the time had never been right’, she thought bitterly.

“I don’t know what made you sad, Marinette. If it was me, then I am sorry.” he told her once she had calmed down.

She swallowed. “It… Don’t you worry about it.” she told him. “And you will probably be gone in a short time if everything is going fine.” she chuckled.

He smiled softly. “You’re right; but it doesn’t mean that I can’t stay there with you so you can feel better!” he gave her a warm smile. “The others, uh… Were busy and worried for Adrien and went after him, for some reasons.” he frowned. He then looked sadly towards the inside of the apartment, where Adrien probably was, as if worried of something else than simply Adrien’s well-being. “They’re all in Alya and Nino’s room.”

“That is sweet of you.” she told him. He turned his head back towards her.

“I could tell you a joke if you’d like.”

She looked at him with wide eyes. She hadn’t heard him joke since… Well, since.

“How do you call a cat that can support a house?” he asked, taking her silence as a confirmation for him to go on. She continued to stare at him with wide eyes, not knowing how to answer.

A teasing smile appeared on his face. “A caterpillar!” he said sounding way too proud with himself.

Marinette couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. Blame it on her nerves, or the fact that the joke was so lame that it was what made it funny, or that she had already heard it on patrol and her Chat Noir had assured her that–

“Thanks! I came up with it myself!”

Yeah, that. She slowly calmed down and smiled tiredly with closed eyes. Sweet nostalgia.

“I don’t know what has gotten you so down, Marinette,” Chat Noir spoke again, “but the girl I know is amazing. And she can accomplish anything she sets her eyes on. So no matter what, I am sure that you can summon her because she never left. And she can help you to overcome what is making you sad if you give her the time and chance.” And it was such a naive and a Chat thing to say but also had he always been so wise?

She took a deep breath. “You’re not going to remember anything when you’ll come back, are you?” she asked him.

Chat Noir seemed to ponder her question for a few seconds. “I don’t think so,” he answered, “at least that’s what happened every time an akuma has sowed discord.”

“I thought so too.” Marinette said. She actually already knew that but she felt like she needed some kind of confirmation. Before saying what she was about to say.

She sighed. “I missed you, you know. I still do.” she started. She couldn’t see Chat Noir fixing her with a questioning look since her eyes were closed, but she could feel it. “You disappeared a few months after Hawkmoth and Mayura were defeated. I never knew why… Well… I knew something was wrong. But you never told me.”

She heard Chat Noir gulped. “Why… Why would I have told you, Marinette?” he asked.

She smiled and chuckled quietly but it sounded sad even to her ears. “Because I am – was – still am – your partner.” she let it sink in a few seconds before finally opening her eyes and turning to Chat Noir.

“I am Ladybug, Kitty.” she whispered so low that she was sure he heard her only thanks to his enhanced hearing.

He was staring at her with his mouth agape and eyes impossibly wide. He slowly raised a finger and pointed it at her.

“You are… You are?”

“Yes,” she said smiling while tears were gathering once again in her eyes. “Yes it’s me..”

A smile stretched onto his face and he was suddenly grinning happily.

“I knew it! I knew it had to be you! It makes so much sense! Oh wow – do you know who I am?” he asked excitedly.

Her smile dropped and she looked away.

“O–oh… You said I left didn’t you? But this is so stupid why would I–”

“I don’t know. I don’t know and I miss you and I want to be there for you if you’re in a bad place and…” she sighed and closed her eyes, trying to regain control of her breathing before she would be a sobbing mess once again.

“… I could tell you who I am?” Chat Noir suggested.

She smiled painfully. “No… It wouldn’t be fair, I guess… I guess I need to wait. For the older you to… Give me a sign.” but even she didn’t like the sound of it. She just wanted to beg Chat Noir to tell her who he was.

For some reasons, he looked back towards the inside of the apartment sadly. He then shook his head, sighed, and looked at her again.

“Why are you telling me? Not that I mind, of course, I am ecstatic to know who you are and that you are you but…” he trailed off.

“I guess I just wanted you to know.” she smiled softly. “So you would… Understand and… Because I want to be able to tell you and this is the closest I’ve been to you in two years and… A-and you’re going to disappear any minute now a-and…” she stared to sob again. She really hadn’t thought seeing Chat Noir would put such a wrench in her heart.

“Hey.” Chat Noir said, approaching her and putting his hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. We will find a solution. I understand.” he soothed.

“Thanks, kitty.” she said while wiping a tear. She slowly approached her head of his and dropped a gentle kiss on his cheek. “You’re always there for me.”

“Apparently not so much these days…” he said sadly with rosy cheeks. “I am… Sorry. I don’t know what happened but… I truly am.”

“I know you are. I know you wouldn’t leave me without a good reason. Don’t worry about it.” she replied, wiping more tears out of her face. “I just hope that you are all right, wherever you are…”

They stared at each other for a little while without speaking. Suddenly, a pink light started to surround him.

“Oh no, I guess my time is up! There was something I wanted to do before–” Chat Noir said frantic.

Marinette tried to not let her panic seize her. “Thank you Chaton.. For everything. Goodbye and take care of you and of your Ladybug…” she said and ugh, she couldn’t fight the onslaught of tears that rolled down her cheeks at the idea of seeing him leave once again.

“I am Adrien Agreste!” he said while the last magic ladybug disappeared, making him fade away back into his own time.

I am Adrien Agreste.

I am Adrien Agreste.

Oh. OH. This explained so much and how had she never thought about this before–

Marinette scrambled to her feet and ran faster than she ever thought she had back inside the apartment.

____________

Thanks for the ask ♥ WELL I MAY HAVE OR MAY HAVE NOT COMPLETELY GONE OVERBOARD UH

I honestly have no idea what that is and how it came to my mind oh well, I hope you liked it though…! Again, I’ll try to keep the next ones short but I wanted to try something longer there.

5 emojis and 2 characters game 😊💩😱😻👀 (/!\ I already received a lot to do – thanks by the way – so you don’t feel like you have to send me new ones, I just leave the link here in case someone else want to participate to the game as well; I’m still accepting requests though but they won’t be dealt with too soon).

[eliyah-de-dark]

Two Lies and A Truth part 2

Turns out the Startrain can get a person from London to Paris in what feels like a matter of minutes. Marinette waited on the platform, alone in a crowd of commuters, with her wide brim hat pulled down low over her face. She wore her hair down, a countermeasure against any old friends who might recognize her style, and opted for an equally unfamiliar white and pink sundress. She'd originally made it for her dream date with Adrien. Now it would meet one of the only friends she had left.

The train from London pulled in, and Felix Graham de Vanily was the first off. He wore his signature dark gray three piece suit, a white shirt making his skin seemed more tanned. He scanned the crowd, forcing people to move around him as his vibrant green eyes searched for her.

She wove a path through the crowd and grabbed his hand. "Hey," she said weakly.

He froze, taking in her changed appearance before speaking. "Your hair looks nice." He touched just the tip of her blue hair, admiring the length. "What prompted the change?"

Marinette's smile dropped. "Don't want to be recognized." Her voice was almost imperceptible in the din of the station.

The pair walked out hand in hand, Felix's heart racing where Marinette's barely caught her attention. Together they wove their way through Paris. Their only pause was with Andre Glacier to get ice cream, Andre's idea not theirs. Finally their meandering brought them to the bakery where they first truly met.

Sabine and Tom waved to the kids as they went up into the apartment. Marinette noticed her mother's calculating look while Felix caught her father's questioning gaze. The young man thought their journey would end in the living room, but Marinette kept his hand in her own until they'd climbed up into her pink painted room. The walls were nearly bare, with the crumpled up pictures of Adrien in her waste basket. Felix took good note of that.

In the safety of her room, Marinette started talking. She repeated a lot of what Felix already knew: how her class had been turned, how the teacher punished her when it wasn't her fault, about how she had only 3 people left in the whole city she could trust. When she brought up the arrival of Suzette, he could tell from the stormy expression of her face that this girl did more than bother Marinette.

"What do you care if she's Ladybug?" Felix asked, waving his hand as if to present the situation on a platter. "Sounds like she'll prove herself wrong soon enough."

"But she's put the entire school in danger!" Marinette cried. She slumped onto her chaise and sighed. "If Hawkmoth thinks anyone in François Dupont is his arch nemesis..." She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to. Felix had seen the chaos akumas caused, and if it weren't for the Ladybug Cure, everyone in Paris would be dead ten times over.

He nodded, and Marinette sighed with relief. She wanted to tell him the real reason, that she was the one suffering stolen identity here, but she couldn't. She thought of Master Fu's threat. Being Ladybug was stressful, sure, but it was one of the best things in her life right now.

Their phones buzzed simultaneously. Felix had his out first, sparing Marinette the trouble. Nadia Chamack's face filled the screen completely. "Don't be bemused, it's just the news. On this special report, we have Alya Cesaire live in our studio to talk about a remarkable post she's put on her Ladyblog." The camera switched to show the red haired girl Marinette used to call friend. As the audience applauded, the pair in a pink room sat on Marinette's chaise.

"Thanks for having me, Madame Chamack." At least she had her manners. "I'm a big fan of yours."

Nadja laughed and made a little dismissive gesture. "If you're a fan of mine, then you know here at the station we love our Ladybug, and your blog has been a key source of information on her. Let's show the audience what you posted today that's sweeping our city!"

Nadia's large screens showed Alya close up in the frame, breathing heavily. "How unbecoming." Felix scrunched his nose in disgust while Marinette laughed.

The video showed Alya rushing back to her seat where across from her sat...Ladybug? The costume was fairly well made, superior to Chloe's in many ways. There was still the glaring issue of a zipper on the back and her mask slowly dropping on the left side.

The two began talking like old friends, Alya crediting Lila for getting the interview squared away. Felix watched Marinette as her face switched from shock to horror.

Once the Ladybug interview had wrapped up, Nadja began asking questions about the whos, whats, wheres and whens of the impromptu video. "Lila, my best friend," Alya emphasized that title like she knew Marinette was watching, "promised me an interview with LB, and it turns out Ladybug is wonderful in and out of costume!" She pasted a surprised look on her face and murmured, "Oh, I shouldn't have said that." in such a perfect copy of Lila that Marinette searched for a wig line or something.

"In and out of costume? Does that mean - hold on, you know who Ladybug is?" Nadja had real shock on her face, and if the camera had turned then Felix imagined the audience would have that same look too.

Alya smiled sweetly. "I couldn't say."

The interview continued, but Felix set his phone away. Marinette was shaking now, and he put an arm around her. She leaned on his shoulder, her body slowing to matching his heartbeat. He rested his head on top of hers and took a deep breath. She smelled like strawberries, glue, and mint.

Now he jumped up and paced. Her eyes followed back and forth as he moved, pausing every so often to muse on a particular idea.

"I've got it." He smiled, a devious grin that split his face like a demon.

Marinette listened with rapt attention.

-

"Blast Master, I am Hawkmoth. You want to expose the truth about Lila Rossi and save your friend. I'm giving you the power to control explo-"

"That's a no on the name."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Then beg."

"...what is happening?"

"Listen, you're right about why I'm pissed, and I'll gladly take the explosion power, but I'm not calling myself Blast Master."

"I...suppose?"

"Excellent, glad we're on the same page."

-

Suzette Lambert basked in the attention of her schoolmates like a cat basks in the sun. Lila was right, she mused, these idiots are too easy. Only two weeks and she had near god like worship. She almost didn't regret transferring out of her private English school.

The two people who didn't immediately succumb to her will were Chloe Bourgeois and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe made snide comments here and there but hardly went toe to toe with the new queen of the school. It helped that literally anytime she tried, either that nuisance Alya would snap at her or the teacher would gently redirect the class.

Her teal eyes caught sight of the little pariah, who'd snuck in early and taken her spot at the farthest desk in the room. Marinette never spoke. Not even when the teacher called on her. When she'd asked, Lila bemoaned, "Oh Mari? She's just the worst. She's always so mean to me and everyone hates her for it. I wouldnt even bother talking to her."

Suzette couldn't say it was hard to get on Lila's bad side, but that seemed a bit extreme. It all made sense after her little "slip-up" though.

It was the Italian's idea to say she was the heroine. "Trust me, no one will even question it." As much as Suzette hated to admit it, Lila was right. Everyone latched onto the biggest lie of her life and now the royal treatment was just a standard. The only bad reaction she got was Dupain-Cheng running out of the room. That was weird on so many levels, but Suzette ignored it.

Class was going smoothly until the volley of ringtones interrupted the lesson.

"An akuma?"

"It's just down the street!"

"Hold up Alix, let me see!"

Suzette checked her phone, lazily scanning the report of a dancing harlequin-style akuma moving steadily towards François Dupont.

"Go suit up, Suzette!"

She looked at Alya with a tired expression. "What?"

The reporter pointed her cellphone at Suzette. "Don't you need to transform? To defeat the akuma?" Her quizzical look spread like a virus through the class.

"I can't." She needed to think, quick. "The Guardian took my miraculous for safe keeping." She mentally congratulated herself for the excuse.

Nino spoke up next. "Why?"

"Repairs."

"Why would a miraculous need repairs?" And why was Kim of all people chiming in?

"Oh puh-lease." Now came Chloe Bourgeois. She sat on her desk and ignored Madame Bustier's reprimand as she continued. "Obviously she can't because she isn't Ladybug." Sabrina nodded vigorously, the nasty little cockroach.

Alya naturally spoke next, loud enough to give the queen standing next to her a headache. "No one asked you, Chloe." She snapped. "Why dont you keep your opinions to yourself?"

"Why dont you you little gossip rag wannabe?"

Wow, Suzette thought. That's an interesting shade of red in Alya's face.

Chloe turned those sky blue eyes back to her rival. "What form does your miraculous take? Or better yet, what's mine?" She leaned forward, her head tilted as if to listen for an answer.

Suzette crossed her arms. "Why would I care about yours?"

"Because you're the one that gives it to me, Ladybug. And I know for a fact if you were the real Ladybug, you would've kept your mouth closed about your identity."

No one noticed Marinette in the back of the room staring wide eyed at Chloe.

"Who are you to talk to me like that?!" Suzette yelled. Lila grabbed her arm, locking her in place. "You're just the mayor's spoiled brat who only cares about herself!" Chloe smiled at Suzette's words. The audacity.

"Maybe, but at least I'm honest."

Another insult began forming in the mind of the false Ladybug when the door came off its hinges with an explosion.

((@goblinwhoships @ml-cartoons @enchanted-nerd since you three specifically requested being tagged, here you go))

((Yeah so people really seemed to like part one. That's pretty hekking neat. Hopefully part 2 can live up to the hype))

[sarcastic-sunshines]

ABIONA AU - Part 8

Pairing: T’ Challa x Black!Reader

Warning(s): None

Word Count:  4192

Link to ABIONA by @aloevverified

Link to Face claims (2)

Part: (1) (2) (3) (I1) (I2) (4) (I3) (I4) (5) (6) (I5) (I6) (7)

A/N: I know it’s been a while since I have updated this story, but I still love it and I hope you do too. I promise this time I will be more consistent with posting. As always, I can’t wait to know what you think! I know this year has been a whirlwind so I hope you are all taking care of yourself. Don’t forget to do something that make you smile 😊

Part 8

Alix woke up the next morning as she had been for the last couple of weeks, to a cold bed. The only difference is she found a little note in the bed from T’challa. It read:

Entle, 

I hope you were able to get some sleep. I know it has been hard for you these past couple of weeks. I have not been there for you and ‘Ona as I should be. And for that I am sorry. I am still trying to find the balance between my duty as King and my duty as father and lover. I am trying my best, but fighting with you does not help. I hope we can talk more later in the day. I love you so much, please remember that. And know that even in your state of anger I still think you are the second most beautiful creation that Bast has allowed me to see.  

Sincerely yours,

Your Handsome Baby Daddy T’challa

P.S. I only said second because Abiona is first. I know you understand.

Alix read the note a few times trying to stop herself from both laughing and crying. She truly wanted to believe the words he wrote. But his actions had shown otherwise. Alix decided to go for a run to clear her screaming thoughts. She left Abiona with Zemora and went to see if the early morning city heat could melt away the emotions that left her feeling cold and hollow. The ache in her legs did nothing to hide the sharp pain of the small wounds in her heart. The vibrant city of Birnin Zana did little to brighten her mood, but simply reminded her of all she would lose if this didn’t work out. It had to work out, Alix wasn’t  sure if her heart could take it if it didn’t . She headed back to the palace, entering through the back where the guards discreetly let her in.  She got ready for her free day at home with Abiona. After building blocks she turned to look at the clock and to see it was almost lunchtime. Her free time at home had allowed her the ease of making meat pies just like her mom used to make them. She saved some for Jules, who she was sure would come by before Zemora went home, and tied some in a little container. Alix turned and told Zemora she would be back soon. She stood outside the door for 2 minutes before closing her eyes and knocking. After hearing his low “come in”, Alix entered the office like she was scared of what was behind the door. T’challa looked up, feeling a sense of relieve to see Alix come through.

“Alix, hello”

“Hey, I assumed you didn’t have lunch yet and I made some meat pies like Maman used to make. I know you really liked them” T’challa smiled and motioned for her to sit. She sat across from him as T’challa fought the urge to pull her into his lap. He knew this wasn’t the right time. He did not want her to feel as though her concerns were not valid.

“Thank you entle  that was so thoughtful of you” T’challa took a bite as Alix watched him.

“Are they better than when my mom makes them?”

“If I lie will you get upset?” they both quietly chuckled knowing Alix was joking. He ate mostly in silence as Alix took in his office. She had  not spent a lot of time there but now she was able to take in the subtle details that reminded her of T’challa. Like the pictures on his wall of Abiona’s ultrasounds with the sound of the heartbeat put into the frame and activated when pressed. His desk was also filled with pictures of Abiona. Alix smiled at a recent one of T’challa and Abiona at the border tribe visiting the rhinos. Just like every other time she saw a picture of herself, the picture of her at Amélie’s baby shower flattered her to be among his memories. She looked so happy then. To think the night ended with her fighting with T’challa. Of course his reassurance had calmed her nervous heart. Alix realised that is what she needed now. To be sure that she wasn’t the only one trying to make this work. She turned to T’challa with a solemn face.

“Do you want to talk now or are you too busy” T’challa’s face suddenly showed all the exhaustion he had been feeling over the past few weeks. 

“Alix, I hope you know I am not choosing to be absent”

“No, but you are not doing much to show that”T’challa got up to sit across from Alix and took her hands.

“Alixandre please, you know that isn’t fair” Alix avoided all eye contact. T’challa sighed before he could continue. “Alix, I know I have not done a good job at balancing home and work. I thought I was getting better at it since I got to be home more to put ‘Ona to bed. But obviously I forgot to ask you what you needed from me. I am sorry. I have been short with you, and impatient as well as inconsiderate. If this has put any doubts in your mind I promise you I have no problem taking them away.” He kissed her hands hoping to get a response. Alix was still looking away. “Alix please say something.”

“I guess I can be a little more empathetic to how the move has affected you.” T’challa smiled and pulled her chair closer to his. “But, I need more alone time. Not just before bed with you giving a half ass conversation and then you falling asleep as I try to talk to you.”

“That is fine. How about we have lunch together twice a week. And I will be home for dinner and bedtime? Do we have a deal?”

“I want us to have a date night once a week. I need somewhere to wear all of my outfits to” T’challa laughed.

“That is more than fine with me” He said pulling her into a kiss. Alix smiled, knowing they were off to a healthier start.

“And T’challa, you have to talk to me, let me know what is going on so I don’t yell at you and you don’t have all that built up frustrations. You look exhausted, I am your girlfriend, I have a free ear to listen, well  sometimes.” T’challa let out a chuckle.

“Okay Entle, thank you” Alix got up to sit across his lap pulling in T’challa into a deep kiss. She pulled away leaving them both with laboured breathing. Alix began to unbutton T’challa’s shirt

“You owe me a lot of kisses so I’m going to need you to start paying back your debt right now. No ifs, ands, or buts. “ 

“Gladly” T’challa pressed a button on his kimoyo beads to lock the doors and shut down the beads. He stood up lifting Alix and placing her on his desk. She gasped at the swift motion before having her attention drawn back to T’challa’s lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alix pulled down the skirt of her dress and turned around for T’challa to zip it back up. He took the opportunity to instead kiss her shoulder and neck with little intentions of stopping. Alix began to giggle.

“T’challa stop! Don’t you have work to get back to. Plus your beads have been off for a long time.” He zipped up her dress and she turned around to help him with his buttons. He leaned over and turned on his beads, feeling relieved at the very few messages from Jules and Shuri about something in the lab and his mother about having dinner with the whole family. There was one more and before T’challa could close the hologram, Alix turned around and read the name. Her mood immediately dampened.

“What does she want handsome?” Alix said bitterly

“Entle please, she just wants to catch up.” Alix rolled her eyes “I owe that much okay”

“What do you mean you owe her? You too haven’t been together since your undergrad” T’challa nervously avoided eye contact “There is more to this story isn’t there”

“Well, yes. After breaking up with my girlfriend after her, I went to Oxford, where Buhle was also stationed to do my PHd and then we got back together. But our life plans still did not align so she broke up with me. I came back here and dated Nakia, our lives were headed in different places, so we broke up and I was sad. Buhle knew this so she invited me to stay with her in London. One thing led to another and we, well you know” Alix scoffed and rolled her eyes “We agreed that there might be something there. I wasn’t sure and said I would decide once I came back from Uganda. The first couple weeks we kept talking and then you and I got closer. Then you told me to shut up and make love to you” T’challa joked as Alix playfully hit his chest trying to hide her smile. “ And you know how the rest of the story goes” He said finally after kissing her hand.

“So now she thinks I stole away her opportunity with you”

“Possibly yes, but Buhle is harmless”

“You keep saying that. I may not know her the way you do, but I know what a woman with a mission looks like. I know sometimes you can be oblivious to the attention you get but, you are not ugly T’challa, so most of the woman who come up to you do not want to be friends”

“Oh I know I am quite sexy”

“No one said all that”

“It doesn’t even matter because I only have eyes for you entle” He said pulling her into his lap “It will be a quick visit. I promise”

“Fine handsome” She said rolling her eyes. T’challa laughed at her pettiness “But I want to know everything that happens” He kissed her hand.

“Okay. I love you Ms. Ajayi.” Alix got up to leave.

“Yeah whatever, I love you too” T’challa smiled to himself as he watched her go. These past few weeks had been difficult for him, but he refused to lose his family because of his duty. He knew this was just another test from Bast, and he was ready to face it head on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T’challa sat outside the restaurant waiting nervously for Buhle to arrive. As she walked in wearing a beautiful off the shoulder lace white dress. T’challa may have eyes only for Alix, but even he could admit that Buhle’s beauty seemed to just grow as she aged. He stood to meet her and they shared a hug. 

“You look beautiful Joy.” He complimented as they pulled away.

“You don’t look too bad yourself handsome. So tell me about the baby” A glimmer in T’challa’s eye that Buhle had never seen before appeared.

“She is my greatest creation all while being my best gift that Bast has ever given me” T’challa said with a smile. “She is almost a year old, and my life has changed so quickly because of her. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. She truly is the love of my life. I do not know what I will do if we decide to have more. I don’t know how I will make enough room for her in my heart.” The two shared a smile. Buhle was genuinely happy for him. She finally asked what had been on her mind since she found out that T’challa had moved on.

“So, your happy then, with Alix?” T’challa saw it, the glimmer of sadness in Buhle eyes. It made his insides turn. He always felt so bad when she was sad. He remembered adoring her smile so much, having it leave her face felt like a failure on his part. But it was no longer his job to keep her smile etched on her face.

“I am extremely happy. We are extremely happy. To be honest, Joy, I plan to marry this woman.” Buhle, was surprised but still happy for her old friend.

“I am happy to hear that” She said with a smile, rubbing his forearm supportively. “You know there was a time when I prayed you might actually come around to the idea of marriage and show up at my doorstep with a ring. “ T’challa face showed the confusion and shame he felt.  He didn’t know how to respond. “Don’t worry T.C I know your heart was never fully in it. I wouldn’t have wanted this to end badly at any point. Imagine if it had, would I be sitting across you right now. I truly am happy for you. I just hope I will also be able to feel the way you do about Alix”

“Buhle, I know you will, one thing that I was always sure of is that you will be a great mother, I however deep down always knew that I could not give you all that you deserve. Buhle you know you deserve the world right” T’challa reached up and caught a tear from her face.

“I know, if anything this was cathartic. It is hard to see what I always wanted with you done with another but, I know my day will come. Plus I don’t think I could deal with your word vomit forever. I have no idea how Alix does it” Buhle laughed as T’challa tried not to frown and shook his head. The two easily returned to their smooth conversation as though time and distance had not separated them. T’challa’s bead alerted him it was time to go.

“It was great seeing you Joy”

“You too handsome, we should do this again. Maybe next time you can bring Alix and the baby. I may owe her an apology for our initial introduction”

“Yes I heard about that. But I would be delighted to do so. Take care of yourself okay”

“You too T’challa” The pair hugged one more time before going their separate ways. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Really? She said that?” Alix asked from her spot on the couch as T’challa worked in the kitchen while explaining his meeting with Buhle.

“Yes she did entle”

“Well whenever she wants to give me this apology she can stop by. I am free most days, if not she knows where to find me. “ T’challa shook his head.

“ Oh Ms. Ajayi you are quite petty. You may grow to like Buhle”

“ Probably not, but you know she was right about one thing. Your word vomit can only be handled by a strong woman”

“You all just think you are so funny. And for the record, you didn’t mind my word vomit last night”

“That was then this is now” T’challa scowled as Alix laughed. He placed the two plates on the coffee table before grabbing Alix’s favourite wine.

“Here we go, a homemade Rolex, not as good as Mukisa used to make it but it will have to do” T’challa finally sat down next to Alix and she immediately snuggled herself into his arms.

“Your right, it is not as good but you did good” She said in between bites.

“ We will go back to Kampala together again. “

“I would love that babe. It would be different this time. Probably less doubt or fear”

“Hopefully by then you will be Mrs.Udaku”  Alix smiled to herself.

“I know Buhle was all for it but who said I would marry you Kumkani”

“I did, and I know Bast does not put thoughts into my head that I cannot achieve.”

“ You and Bast are quite confident, but the answer is no” She said getting up to keep their plates

“For now it is” T’challa responded before having Alix tuck herself into his arms again.

“ And I would be Ms. Ajayi -Udaku, I would not give up my name for yours”

“ As long as I can call you my wife, I don’t care what your last name is” He said still staring at the tv. Alix took the opportunity to take in his face. Her maman was right, she did get lucky. She imagined what it would  be like to be married to him. Just the two of them and Abiona. She felt full thinking about it. She leaned over to kiss his shoulder and neck but T’challa moved away.

“Please do not be offended, but if you would allow me 20 more minutes to finish this episode of MTV Cribs. It is Destiny’s child next and I would enjoy just looking at their house”

“You mean you enjoy judging their house as you normally do and then gawking over your childhood crushes.” T’challa tried not to smile

“ To begin, I do not judge the house, I simply take in the interior design. And for the record, Destiny’s Child were worldwide sensations and they were a huge deal here in Wakanda as well. They are quite talented and I enjoyed a few of their songs”

“Just a few? I found your old CD collection T’challa, apparently you are not aware of what ‘a few’ means either” He rolled his eyes as Alix taunted him. “ Who is your favourite? Mine is Beyonce.” T’challa did not say anything before finally mumbling a response that Alix clearly heard. “ What was that babe, I couldn’t hear you?”

“It was Kelly okay! Now can I watch this tour in peace please.” Alix giggled “I dislike the decor of Kelly’s room, though it is the early 2000’s, I had expected different. Perhaps more vibrant. “ Alix shook her head and continue to look at him. “Might ask what you are staring at”

“Nothing, I just love you and I love looking at you”

“I love you too entle”  He paused the television and leaned down to kiss her. His hand went undershirt feeling the smoothness of her skin. 

“The show isn’t over yet”

“ Kelly knows I will be back” Alix laughed as he carried her back to their room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alix laid on T’challa’s bare chest leaving little kisses and drawing circles. His chest had begun to rise and fall normally again. 

“ Alix, I know you do not want to get married but I just want you to know that if you ever accepted to get married, you would truly be giving me the biggest honour that I could carry. You are more than just the mother of my children. You truly hold my heart, and marrying you would be the final step of me showing my dedication to you.” Alix’s heart sped up as it normally did when T’challa released all his thoughts in ways that almost made her swoon.

“There is that word vomit. And it is the mother of your child, singular.”

“For now” T’challa closed his eyes to sleep. Alix took the opportunity to peak at him again. In his arms she felt secure, she turned her back onto his chest. It was just the two of them, and Alix was sure that with him, no matter where they were,  or what was happening she could build a home, as long as he was there to hold her through it. 

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Taglist:

@aloevverified @chaneajoyyy @teechallas-blog @ashanti-notthesinger @dopegalkk@wakanda-inspired @90sinspiredgirl @lovely-geek @fd-writes @chefjessypooh @tarataz12

[magpiefngrl]

Book Recs Jan-Jun 2020

I’ve been reading voraciously these past six months (my Goodreads challenge says 68 books so far). Here are some memorable reads, grouped according to what you might be into.

I want queer romance please:

Brothers of the North Wild Sea by Harper Fox (m/m historical)

This book ruined me (in a good way). Or maybe it isn’t good that I’ll be carrying it inside my heart for ever and ever till the end of my days, my lip wobbling at the mere thought of it. A wonderful romance, a pairing I adored, gorgeous prose, a fascinating historical background (medieval times, north of England, Viking invasions). There’s a faint supernatural undercurrent that becomes more prominent at the very end. I sobbed through the last few pages with fear, with relief, with happiness. Highly, highly recced.

Bitter Springs by Laura Stone (m/m historical)

Every historical novel I’ve read is set in the UK, so the fact that this is a US historical book was fascinating to me. Two POC cowboys fall in love while seeking mustangs in the wilderness of Texas (?? idk where Del Rio is). It’s sweet and loving with a side-serving of jealousy when a former lover briefly appears on the scene; but mainly it’s two men getting to know each other and falling in love in the desert. I loved the horses too.

The Sins of Cities trilogy by KJ Charles. (3 books, 3 different couples, interconnected, m/m historical)

OK so the first book in the series didn’t do much for me. A pairing who loves to be domestic and sweet and to drink tea by the fire is cute... but I got bored. The second one, though... I think my eyes popped out of my head from the sheer heat of it. Justin Lazarus shot to the Top-5 of my fave characters of all time, and I’d willingly kill all of you for him, sorry that’s how it is. The trilogy is a murder mystery set in Victorian London, and unlike most romance series, you’ll need to read the books in order. Overall, this isn’t my fave series of KJC, but it was fun nonetheless, and it does have Justin in it so it’s worth a read.

Slippery Creatures by KJ Charles (m/m historical)

This one is amazing!!! This is KJC’s latest, first in a trilogy with the same pairing, which means the HEA is 2 books away (it doesn’t mean that this ends unhappy; another reader called it the WNDY ending -- We’re Not Done Yet). Boy, this is a scorcher. Set in the 1920s, it features spies, secret societies, murder, lies, kidnapping, grey characters with elastic morals: these are all catnip for me, and I inhaled this novel twice in a week. Highly recced for anyone into a gay historical romance, who loves a bit of pulp with their gay sex. The second installment is out next month.

The 13th Hex (novella) and Widdershins by Jordan L. Hawk (both m/m historical paranormal, but different universes)

I can’t say I’m enamoured by Hawk’s writing skills; in fact, I usually feel a tad let-down by the prose, mainly because the books have such potential. Hawk’s plotting is fantastic and his world-building fascinating and truly unique. I just love both of these worlds and their magic systems. Hot sex too. I don’t want to discourage people: I’m possibly just too fussy with prose. Hawk is super popular and you should give his books a shot. Widdershins is free! (In case it sways you: Hawk recently came out as a trans man.)

Unnatural by Joanna Chambers (m/m historical)

I read a few romances by Chambers lately, some less satisfying than others. This one is a standalone companion novel to her most popular series, called Enlightenment, set in Regency Britain. It’s a well-written fast read; a friends-to-lovers romance, with lots of tension and chemistry between the leads. As in all Chambers books that I’ve read so far, there’s lots of angst about one’s homosexuality (very era-appropriate) and lots of pull-and-push before it ends in a very HEA.

****

Do you have anything with fantasy and/or magic, my kind lady?

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik (alternate history, Napoleonic wars with dragons)

Do you like dragons who talk and bond with honourable officers during times of war? Do you love soulmate bonds and sentiments such as: “I’ll do anything for you” and “You’re mine” but when it’s people, it makes you uncomfortable? Well, here former Naval officer Lawrence and his dragon Temeraire (and all dragons with their handlers) have this bond, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m in love with Temeraire, I shiver at the profound bond between Lawrence and his intelligent dragon, and I can’t wait to read the rest of the series by a beloved author (ahem).

The Dark Artifices by Cassandra Clare (YA urban fantasy)

I don’t hold the best opinion of Clare’s writing skills so I was pleasantly surprised when I read the first installment a few years back (Lady Midnight). I decided to reread it during quarantine, and then I moved on to the second one, Lord of Shadows. They’re both long novels, tightly-plotted, with several romances evolving on page.

I was excited to read the last one, A Queen of Air and Darkness, but alas! I didn’t love it. To start with, it’s 1000 pages long, and unlike books of that length that I’ve read, you feel it. The book drags. Everyone and their mother has a POV and a love story on page. There are no subplots, because they’re all Plots: all afforded equal space in the narrative, so there’s lots happening at the same time, but the story doesn’t feel like it’s moving forward with a good pace. As the end of the trilogy, Clare indulges in some of her fave elements, namely mentioning someone’s eye colour every three pages, or having every single person paired up by the end (something which bothers me a great deal). There are a few plot contrivances that ensure her main pairing conveniently gets their HEA. I confess I skimmed most of the last part of the book. I’m happy I read it and got to the end of the story, but I can’t say I was satisfied. If you’re looking for an undemanding, escapist fantasy, though, it’s the ticket: it certainly worked for me when I had quarantine brain.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amar El-Mochtar & Max Gladstone

Sci-fi, literary af, two time-travel agents from opposing Agencies bent on destroying each other, exchange letters and fall in love. I’m completely torn in half: half of the book (the prose, the imagination) left my jaw on the floor. The rest of it left me cold and indifferent. Wonderful prose, couldn’t get into the characters. Short and dense.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Queer fantasy novel that gives strong Dangerous Liaisons vibes. Written in 1987, one of the first fantasy novels to feature a society where same-sex is accepted. The writing is beautiful, the plot twisty. There’s no actual magic, but there are sword fights, courtroom drama, intrigue. Good fun if you like that kind of thing.

The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang

Adult fantasy. So far (I’m half-way through) it’s phenomenal. I’ve seen it recced everywhere and was so happy to see that Scribd offered it in my subscription. Set in a Chinese-inspired world, it features a vivid setting and memorable characters, and I’m loving it. I predict it’ll be my new fave. Do heed the content warnings (pretty much every CW you can think of applies); it’s quite dark as it progresses.

A bunch of novellas and short stories by Aliette de Bodard

This author came to my notice about a year ago. I’ve been following her on twitter ever since, but didn’t have the chance to read any of her work until I saw she had a bunch of stuff available on Scribd. I read a couple of sci-fi novellas set in a Vietnamese-inspired future; The Citadel of Weeping Pearls was my fave.

She’s also published a fantasy trilogy with fallen angels and magic set in a war-ravaged Paris, which sounds awesome. I haven’t read it, can’t afford to yet, but I did read two short stories set in that ‘verse and they were fabulous. The atmosphere, the setting, the premise, the Fallen of the Dominion universe just sounds like very much my thing. Here’s a link to some free stories they offer, if you want to check out her writing.

The Autobiography of a Traitor and a Half-Savage by Alix E. Harrow

I read a short story by Harrow several months ago and was blown away. I’ve rarely fell so fast and so deeply in love with an author. I haven’t read her debut yet, but I came across this short novella and she blew me away again. It’s a story set in the US, magical realism rather than fantasy imo, and it’s about colonialism and the land, and it’s so powerful. You can read it for free at Tor.com. Please do, it’s incredible.

******

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: G

Summary: Kagami and Adrien skate together, and the special guest arrives.

Word Count: 2644 | Chapter 2/3

XXX

“Woah, it’s pretty dark in here.  Are you sure Phillipe said it was okay to come?”  Adrien asked as the doors creaked open.

It was black as pitch inside.  If Nino hadn’t shown her the process photos of their decorations, she might have believed the rink was deserted.

“I’ve never lied to you,” Kagami replied.  Her ice skates clinked where they hung over her shoulder.  “Come on, let’s get that ridiculous wig off.”

“What? Is blue not my color?”  He grinned.  It was insufferably cute, even if Kagami now knew the affection she felt for him wasn’t romantic.

She pulled the wig off and tossed it aside.  That was the signal she and Nino had agreed upon.

Suddenly the rink bust into light.  Lasers of red and green glinted off the giant disco ball Wayhem had managed to hang at the top of the dome.  Normal fluorescent bulbs flashed to life as well, illuminating the crowd that had gathered in the stands around the rink.

“Happy birthday, Adrien!”  All of his friends shouted in echoing cacophony.

Kagami’s focus stayed trained on Adrien as realization dawned over him.  His wide eyes took in everyone grinning at him—Nino in the back by his DJ equipment, Alya waving from closer by, Wayhem charging up to be the first to greet him.

“You… you guys threw me a birthday party?”

“It is your birthday, isn’t it?”  Kagami laughed before taking his skates.  “I’ll hold on to these for now.  Go say hello to everyone.”

Before she knew it, Adrien’s arms were flinging around her.

“Thank you, Kagami.  I know how much work this must have taken to put together.”

She relaxed in his embrace, hugging him back.

“You know you’re precious to us.  If you want to thank anyone, it’s Nino who’s the mastermind.”

“I’m not surprised.  He’s brilliant.”  Adrien pulled back, only to give her a quick bisous.  “I know you were involved too.  Please, let me thank you.”

“O-of course, Adrien.”

They shared one last smile before Wayhem practically tackled him.  

“Adrien!  It’s so good to see you, man!”

Kagami backed away as the crowd advanced.  Even after all this time, large groups were difficult for her to navigate.  It was more than worth it to see Adrien so happy, though.

After hugs and bisous were exchanged all around, Nino kicked on the stereo.

“Alright, homies!  Who’s ready to get out there and break the ice?”

He played Friday I’m in Love—one of Adrien’s favorite songs—as everyone who wanted to laced up their skates and filed onto the rink.

“Please, you won’t catch me down in that cesspit.”  Chloé tossed her ponytail.  

“Aww, but it would be fun, Chloé!”  Her red-haired friend—Sabrina, if Kagami recalled correctly—smiled up at her pleadingly.  She already had a pair of turquoise skates on.  “If you fall, I’ll catch you!”

“Quiet!” Chloé pressed a hand to her mouth.  “Do you want everyone to know I can’t skate?”

“Considering you just announced it, I doubt you will keep it a secret.”  Kagami’s eyes narrowed.  Nino might trust Chloé now, but it was difficult to forgive someone who had abused Adrien’s friendship for so long.

“I bet you’re a professional figure skater, aren’t you,” Chloé muttered.

“No.  Skating is just a hobby.  But I could help teach you, if you would like.”

Kagami might not trust Chloé, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be civil.  Besides, she’d been wrong about a few of Adrien’s friends before.

Chloé blinked a few times.  “You would—?  I mean, thanks, but no.  I need to make sure the media doesn’t catch us here, anyway.  It’s the most important job, you know.”

“Of course.  Perhaps another time then.”  She dipped her head.

“That would be… nice.”

That settled, Kagami sat a little ways off to put on her skates.

“Kagami!”  Adrien plopped down in the chair beside her, looking brighter than ever.  “Did you see the cake Marinette made?  Alya says it’s got passionfruit icing!”

“I didn’t,” she replied honestly.  “Knowing Marinette, I trust it’s amazing.”

“She’s so thoughtful.”  He smiled while accepting his skates back from her.  “Do you know when she’s coming?  I want to thank her, but I haven’t seen her yet.”

Kagami’s brow furrowed.  “Alya didn’t tell you?  Marinette isn’t coming.”

“She’s… she’s not?”  Adrien’s head hung.  “Do you know why?  Did I do something to upset her?”

“I’m sure it’s not that.”  Unless it was because she’d learned of Adrien’s crush on Ladybug.  Marinette was always touchy when it came to competing for Adrien’s affections, even if she’d eventually put aside her rivalry with Kagami.

“She didn’t explain why she couldn’t come.  But she did say that you mean the world to her, and that she will make it up to you.”

“She really said that?”  His hand hovered over his heart, his face hopeful.

Kagami wondered why Nino thought it so important to bring Ladybug to the party.  Adrien looked just as thrilled at the idea of seeing Marinette.

“Yes.  Now until then, let’s make the most of tonight.”  

“Right.  Thank you.”

He swapped out his orange sneakers for white ice skates, and she caught a glimpse of the dragon sticker she’d stuck on his left blade back when they were dating.  It left a bittersweet taste in her mouth, but more sweet than bitter.  He was a dear friend.  He’d shown that nothing would change that.

“Dance with me?”  He asked while pulling her towards the rink.

“On the ice?”

“Why not?  I know you’re skilled enough.”

She had no doubt of that.  Adrien had always been a little less steady in his skates than her, though.

“Alright.”  She smiled.  “If you think you can keep up with me.”

“You know I never back down from a challenge!”

Nino was playing Don’t Think Twice as they glided out onto the ice.  She had to weave between other skaters—the arena had never been this crowded when she and Adrien escaped here before.  Phillipe must have been thrilled to admit so many patrons.

“Woah!”  Adrien skidded back when a young man with tall blond hair came barreling through.

“Sorry!”  Luka called, skating quickly behind him.  “This is XY’s first time on the ice.”

“Lu!  Look, I think I’m getting the hang of it!”

Kagami hid a laugh behind her hand as XY wiped out, “starfishing” (as Nino would have called it) across the ice.

“Nice moves,” Juleka deadpanned before gliding on with Rose.

“You have some interesting friends,” Kagami noted as she and Adrien started moving again.

“I’m not sure if XY counts as a friend, exactly.”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “He’s more like… an acquaintance, or a weird family member you have to invite to reunions.”

Kagami raised an eyebrow.  “You have a lot of family members like that?”  She had some odd relatives, but they tended to be excluded from family gatherings.

“Er… well, Nino says his family does.  I think all of my family is weird, but a different kind of weird, if you know what I mean.”

Kagami nodded, remembering the few times she’d met Adrien’s cousin Felix.  Not to mention the austere Gabriel himself.

Once they got to a clearer area, Adrien took both of her hands and began skating backwards.

“You’ve gotten better,” she noted.  “I still think you should let me take the male part, though.  I’m more used to skating backwards than you.”

“Fair enough.”  He effortlessly switched positions with her.  

At times like this, she remembered why she’d dated Adrien in the first place.  Not only was he sweet, respectful, and talented, but they were so alike.  They could glide in near-perfect sync from hours of easy practice.  He’d been the first one to take her routine hobbies and add a spark to them, make them truly fun.

Thankfully, those were all things that hadn’t changed.  It had hurt when he’d first admitted that he was still in love with someone else, that he didn’t feel it was fair to treat her as a second choice.  But she respected that now.  He’d made his decision, and she’d learned much more about herself since then, too.

Such as the fact that she might not desire romantic affections at all.

“New song,” Adrien said when Don’t Think Twice stopped playing and Wannabe by the Spice Girls began.  “This one’s not in three-four time.  You’ll have to give me something harder than a box step waltz.”

“Okay, I’ll stop going easy on you!”  

She let go of one of his hands, spinning him out and back in.  He almost skidded on the second spin, but she caught him and turned it into a dip.

“Looks like someone was getting cocky.”  She smirked.

“Nah.  I just knew you would catch me.”  He winked.

She laughed, pulling him back upright and beginning a simpler dance that Alya had taught her.  Something called a foxtrot, if she remembered correctly.

“Shouldn’t you be saving that kind of flirting for your girlfriend?”  

It was satisfying to watch the blush spread across his cheeks.  “My—?  I don’t have a girlfriend.  But if I’m making you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, I really should have—”

“Relax, Adrien.  I was only teasing.”  She squeezed his hand.  They continued gliding hand in hand, not pulling off any fancy tricks this time.

“Still.  I should be more considerate of your feelings.”

“I’ve assured you, you have nothing to worry about.”  She hoped her honest smile showed that.

“But—”

“I’m asexual, Adrien.”

He went silent.  Kagami tried to keep her strides even.  She’d realized this about herself for a while now—since shortly after they broke up—but she’d yet to voice it even to her closest friend.  What if he didn’t believe her?  Or worse, what if he believed she’d led him on in their relationship?  She hadn’t realized that the strong friendship she’d felt for him wasn’t romantic or sexual attraction at the time.

“Like Max?” He replied after a moment.

The response threw her for such a loop that she almost stumbled.  “Like—who?”

“Max Kanté.  From my class?  I can introduce you if you’d like; I saw him when we came in.  If you’re aro too, you might want to talk to Alix, she’s—”

A pink blur blew past them.

“—right there, actually.”  He laughed.  “You might want to catch her off of the rink, though.  She’s even more competitive than you.  It’ll be hard to get her to slow down.”

Something swelled in Kagami’s chest.  She’d felt fairly secure in her identity, but still very much alone.  Distant strangers on the internet could only provide so much comfort.  But if Adrien knew not one, but two people like her…

“Thank you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.  “That would mean so much to me.”

“No problem!  And I really hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable while we were dating.  Relationships are pretty new to me; I never even thought to ask.”

He was worried about making her uncomfortable?  He really was twice the gentleman she’d assumed.

“No need to worry.  I didn’t know I was ace at the time.  If I was uncomfortable, I would have told you.”  It had been a long road in realizing, and an even longer road in accepting her asexuality.  But there was no point in trying to deny who she was.  Seeing Adrien take it in stride was more of a relief than he could know.  “Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

“Of course!  You’re my friend, Kagami.  I would never want to hurt a friend.”

Tears threatened to prick her eyes when he flashed her his brightest smile.  Before she could look like a complete fool, though, Nino skated up behind Adrien and tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, bro!  Hey, lady bro!  You mind if I borrow Adrien for a bit?  I want to show off my sick skate moves!”

Kagami laughed.  She could always count on Nino to keep things light.  

“Nino?”  Adrien looked shocked.  “Since when do you skate?”

“Since Kagami taught me!  Thanks again for that, by the way.”  He tipped his cap at her. 

“Why don’t we all skate together for a while?  It’ll be more fun that way,” Adrien suggested.

“Whatever my best bro wants.  XY took over the music, so I’m free for the next few songs.”

Adrien took both of their hands, and they glided in sync.  It was a bit more difficult with Nino, since he was still a beginner, but it was no less fun.  They even managed to dance a bit to the upbeat music.  

“This party is everything I could ask for,” Adrien said in the quiet between two songs.  “I can’t thank you guys enough.”

“We’re just happy to see you happy, dude.”  Nino clapped his shoulder.  “I don’t think this party has everything yet, though.”

Adrien’s brow scrunched.  “What do you mean?”

That was when Kagami noticed a figure in red skating towards them.  The crowd parted before her slow but steady strides.  

“I believe he means her.”  Kagami pointed to the red skater.

It was worth everything to see Adrien’s eyes widen, his cheeks turn pink, an expression of utter elation wash over him.  His grip on Kagami’s hand loosened as he clasped his hands in front of his chest.

“No way.  No way!  You got Ladybug to come to my party?”  He looked between Kagami and Nino, as if trying to figure out who to thank for it.

“It was all Nino.”  Kagami dipped her head.

“It was nothing.”  Nino rubbed the back of his neck.  “Alya did all the heavy lifting.  Her Ladyblog connections, ya know?”

Adrien looked like he was about ready to throw his arms around both of them, but that was when Ladybug reached their group.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said, sounding shyer than Kagami remembered her.  A frozen tiara glimmered in her dark hair, reflecting the laser lights that flashed across the rink.  “I heard it was someone’s birthday?”

“Me!”  Adrien practically shouted.  “I mean—uh, thank you so much for coming to my party, Ladybug.  I’m honored.”

He bowed so deeply, his skates nearly slid out from under him.  Ladybug hid a giggle behind her hand.

“You’re so cute—I mean—it’s super cute—COOL of you to invite me.”  She flashed finger guns at him.  

Kagami’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully.  Was Ladybug always so awkward in social situations?  

“It was super cool of you to come!”  Adrien held her shoulders to steady himself as he gave the traditional bisous.  Ladybug’s face was bright red afterwards.

“Should we give them some space?”  Nino whispered to Kagami behind his hand.

“It would defeat the purpose if we didn’t, wouldn’t it?”

“You’re leaving?”  Adrien asked when he tore his eyes away from Ladybug long enough to notice.  “You don’t have to!”

“No worries, dude!  We’ve got to check on Chloé and make sure we’re still not on your babysitter’s radar.  We’ll catch up with you later!”

Nino dragged Kagami away, nearly sending them both to the ice until she steadied them.

“Do you really think Chloé is shirking her responsibilities?”  She asked.

“Nah, she seemed pretty serious about that.  I just needed an excuse to leave them alone.  Adrien would be too nice to leave us otherwise.”

“Oh.”  Kagami leaned back against the railing, watching Adrien take Ladybug’s hand.  They seemed well suited for each other.  Kagami had heard Adrien wax poetic about Ladybug enough to tell his affections were genuine, and Ladybug could protect Adrien from anyone who wanted to hurt him.  

Unless she was the one who ended up hurting him, in which case Kagami would have to test her sabre skills against the superhero.  

That shouldn’t be necessary. Kagami hoped they would find happiness together for at least one evening.