#it was also nice to b in london after a while :-)

[iliketodecompose]

ik i dont rlly post abt my personal life so i fully expect 0 notes for this one but went to see the sophie okonedo medea show at soho place 2day..!!!!!! WOAGH DUDE WOOOAHHHHH. fully transformative brain chemistry altering experience.

[linddzz]

32 with Dreamling? 👀

Smut Prompts:

#32: A suffers from pent-up stress and frustration. B offers their body for them to use to get rid of negative emotions.

Edit: Full fic on AO3

Wordcount: 6977 (nice)

Warnings: Canon typical descriptions of violence. Dream being an unhinged little nightmare, but Hob is so down for it. Also, it's a smut prompt. So there is smut. Dicks abound. In typical fashion it took me a while to get to said dicks though. No beta and only the barest editing.

Summary: Service Dom Hob is here to give his bizarre Eldritch boyfriend the tenderest, gentlest domming of his Endles existence. Dream is still going to be a hissing little brat about it. Tbh I waffled a bit on which way to go with this one, but realized that what I really want sometimes is to have Hob scruff Dream like the pissy wet cat that he is and tell him to SHUSH while Dream goes all ragdoll. I also fully embraced a horny headcanon of mine where Dream is more sensitive to physical touch in the Waking.

Shout out to @amahhi, because I picked little bits from our RP here and there for this. What can I say, we got a good Dream and Hob.

Edit 2.0: trying to get the blog unflagged, so the read more has the fic up to the spicy bits. Full fic is in the AO3 link 🙃

-----

It's been a very normal, mundane, and drab sort of day when Hob comes home at the end of it. There's the standard London drizzle tapping away at his window, transforming the world outside into a melting blur of darkening gray shot through with bright smears from electric street lights coming on one by one.

Electric lights. Brilliant. Literally brilliant. They're all going to pay for it in the long run of course, but fuck is it nice to just come home and flick a switch - like so - to light a room up. 

There's a corpse on his sofa. 

The corpse is on its back, arms rigid at its side. Its skin has a drained, cold paleness with veins as gray as the current sky. The face is perfectly still and perfectly expressionless, with flat blue eyes open and unseeing towards the ceiling. The startling ghastliness of the corpse is offset by the soft black t-shirt, along with black pajama bottoms decorated with alarmingly cheerful blue stars.

This is also, increasingly, a normal part of his day.

"All right, love?" He asks, shutting the door behind him. The first time he came home to Dream lying out stiff and apparently lifeless in his flat there had been a bit more yelling and panicking, followed by careful explanations about what the unexpected sight of a pale and unmoving body with open, unseeing eyes showing up in a safe and comfortable space can do to someone who has been through a few wars.

It kept happening, which meant Dream did not actually understand. But now Dream always makes an effort to put his form into pajamas first, possibly with the logic that if he were dressed comfortably for sleep, then he couldn’t possibly look like a corpse. Which meant he was trying, even if severely misguided. It's more touching than it should be.

The corpse on the sofa routine all started when they became...whatever they are now. The best explanation Hob ever got was that a chunk of Dream’s duties involve delving into the vast unconsciousness of himself, sinking into the wild depths that were made of every dreaming mind that created him to make sure everything was flowing smoothly. 

It was all very metaphysical in all the ways that Hob tries not to think about too much. When he compared it to a computer shutting down for maintenance, he got himself a curdled look of such offended disgust that he knew he was on the money. He compared it to sleep instead, which mollified Dream at the time.

In the past this deeper delving into himself was done from the throne room. Then Dream started showing up in Hob's flat every now and again, refusing to explain why. Hob isn't stupid, so he doesn't ask why after the first few times. Whatever the metaphysics of it, Dream wants to come here and lie on Hob's furniture being vulnerable in the Waking world, despite all his grumblings about said world. Dream may not be able to explain the want for a space outside of work to go to, but Hob gets the difference between grading papers at his office and doing it in his living room. The fact that Dream seeks this space out makes Hob's chest go all fluttery and hot, and he will never question it ever.

It's why he doesn't make a fuss about the fact that Dream hasn't figured out that he looks like a fucking horror movie prop when he does it.

“Obviously.” Dream rumbles in answer. His voice has a deep, slow resonance that's being dragged up from the darkest fathoms. It's a growling sneer, the sharp warning crack of a cliff face about to give. It says that asking things like “all right?” is the most low, simple mindedly human thing Hob could ask, because there is no reason Dream would be otherwise.

“That sort of day then? Budge up.” Hob tosses his coat to the chair, which earns him an annoyed huff of a sound, and shoves a space for himself by Dream's hip, which earns him a growl. 

“What. Sort of. Day?” Dream asks darkly. He turns his head, slowly. His movements are always slow when he's coming up from his not-sleep, and Hob is always fascinated by the process. He imagines Dream reeling himself back from wherever he has gone to, a long thread of his consciousness spooling up to refill the shape of his body. The waxy deadness in his skin doesn't exactly liven up, but it becomes more luminous. The stiffness melts from carved stone to…well not relaxed but something with a bit more give to it than stone anyway. The eyes change the most. The empty flatness of them turns into a clear, bright blue. They're flashing with liquid fire when Dream looks up at Hob, even if the rest of him is still an angrily stiff bunch of sharp edges.

“Not a great one, I think.” Hob leans, propping his shoulders on the back of the couch with Dreams waist and arm against the small of his back. Dream turns his head with his jaw clenched, and Hob reaches out, brushing the backs of his curled fingers in the barest caress over the plane of Dreams cheek.

There's a nearly imperceptible tremor in the core of the body he's leaned himself against. The corners of Dreams mouth tightens, and his eyes flare, like that lightest touch has opened a raw nerve. 

“Maybe the sort of day I could help you forget?” Hob murmurs. He hasn't decided exactly what he's offering when he offers it. They could just stay here, watching some meaningless picture while Dream stays pressed between Hob and the sofa, and Hob combs his fingers through that downy soft black hair until all the tension melts from him. Hob could make that milky, sugary lavender infusion Dream is fond of and kiss him slow and sweet for hours. They could have a wild shag or the easiest love making. Whatever will help ease the coiled tension that’s churning just beneath Dream’s carefully still surface. Anything.

The caress continues. Hob traces his fingertips up the edge of Dreams cheekbone and sinks them back into the wild black hair to cradle around that impossible skull. There's a suspicious scraping sound down by his hip.

“That better not be you clawing up my upholstery.” He hums, rubbing his thumb over the hairline at Dreams temple. “Come on love, what do you want?”

“What. I. Want?” 

The stillness breaks. A hand snaps up and clamps around Hob's wrist. Dream surges up, sitting awkwardly with Hob nearly in his lap, his eyes flashing dark and his teeth bared close to Hob's mouth.

“You would offer yourself then? A sacrifice to what you would call a bad day?” Dream asks, his voice dropping into a hard scrape. There's a sharp prick against the skin of Hob's wrist as claws grow from Dreams fingers. “You ask for what I want?”

“Obviously.” Hob repeats Dream’s earlier answer back at him. This is always the most uncertain part, when Dream is in one of these moods. This night could go a million different ways, but Hob finds himself keen for any of them. Any that keep Dream right here with all of his attention, snarling or otherwise, right on Hob that is.

There's a hiss of sound, sharp and explosive. The sharp pricks against Hob's skin turn into bright bursts of hot pain, and he feels the wet slide of blood down the inside of his arm. There's a shudder, and Dream suddenly curls down against him with his forehead ground into the curve of Hob's shoulder at the base of his throat. It's an awkward reach, but Hob brings his far arm around to run his palm up the knobbed curve of Dreams spine.

“It's alright, love.” He whispers. The slump is not a loosening at all. Hob can feel the jerky tension in every line of Dream’s body, and his love feels like a spring winding tighter and tighter.

“No.” Dream spits. “You ask what I want. The things I want. You are foolhardy. Brash. You understand nothing. Ignorant.”

“Flattery gets you nowhere, my Dream.” Hob keeps running his hand up and down Dream’s spine, thinking that he really is wound up if those are the best insults he can come up with.

There's a bizarre, inhuman sound. A sharp, jagged, snarling grind. Dream's other hand splays against his ribs, vibrating and sharp. The Endless goes quiet again, and Hob keeps stroking his back, happy to wait for whatever comes next.

“The way you say my name.” Dream whispers. “I want to open your ribs and make you say it. I want to pull each apart, one by one, like the petals of the rarest flower. I want to splay them, pin them. Expose the secret parts of you. I want to see how your lungs fill and shrink when you say my name, when you scream it. I want to see how your heart beats when you dream of me. I want to put my hand around it and feel the precious fluttering of it when I punch my fingers through the chambers. I want to feel it burst like the most wondrous fruit plucked out and crushed in my grasp. I want to feel the pockets of your lungs crackle against my palms when they fill with air. I want you to be screaming my name when I do it.”

His hand moves as he talks. Long fingers drag along the valleys between Hob's ribs, slow and methodical. They're also shaking, a sharp electric buzzing of claws through Hob's button down shirt. 

That sort of night then?

“If you're trying to scare me off, you’ve already done that sort of thing in a few of my more exciting dreams.” Hob points out.

“I want to do it here.” It isn't even a whisper now. It's just an exhale shaped into words. Hob notices that it isn't a threatening snarl, or the low purr of Dream enjoying the build up to a grand old violently nightmarish time. There's a shivery dread. A horror deeper than the obvious goriness of it all.

“You fantasize about killing me?” Hob asks, curious. Ok fine, it wouldn't actually kill him, but it would feel like it.

“You can't die.”

It's an immediate response. Breathless. Rapturous. Terrified. Hob is starting to get the idea of what's going on here.

“Scariest thing you've said to me, that was.” He observes with some interest. It's true, after all. He's just learned that his immortality fuels his love's apparent wish to vivisect him in the plane where they both know it would hurt the worst, where the violence of it would be all of the bloody screaming reality without the cushioned fantasy of the Dreaming. Dream admitted that in a way that was clear that he thinks about it regularly. It is, objectively, a scary thing to learn. There it is. Horrifying and alarming. Huh! How about that.

He doesn’t pretend to be surprised at himself when his cock twitches against his jeans. The only thing he isn’t sure of is if it’s the violent idea itself, or the fact that Dream is very obviously holding himself back from affectionately mauling him right this instant.

He's still petting his hand up and down Dream's spine, and he can feel the way his love bunches in on himself with a cracked whining sound that makes Hob's chest ache like his heart’s already been torn and exposed for the soft tender thing it is. There are talons still scraping anxiously at Hob's ribcage. There are still claws dug into his arm, but with less force than before. Dream is tense, already in a state, and in the fine process of working himself up into what could possibly be a legendary tantrum of self loathing.

“Right.” Hob declares, coming to a decision. “First thing: put a pin in that idea. I have to sit on it a bit and work up to it, but I did just get a little hard there, so it's not entirely off the table. I don't think that's what you want right now though.”

Dream froze with shock halfway through that, and Hob knows the best course of action is to keep moving before that impossible head has enough time to tangle itself up in a new way. The hand on Dream's spine sweeps up and grabs Dream by the nape, hard. 

There is an explosive hiss of incredulous shock when Hob yanks him back. The face that Hob pulls off of his shoulder has wide obsidian eyes and a snarl with a wicked set of fangs. He holds the nightmare scruffed, meeting glittering dark eyes while his heart pounds with what isn't nearly enough actual fear.

“You want me to stop you.” 

Dream’s eyes widen further, the hand on Hob's wrist drops lifeless to the sofa. Hob watches a burst of pink bloom across the unnatural white of his cheeks before the response is wrestled back down. Dream’s eyes narrow, but he's watching Hob closely.

“You are. Incapable. Of stopping me.” He growls. It's not a threat, just reality. Which is how most of Dream’s threats go.

“You're going to let me though, I think.” Hob says. He digs his fingers a little into the hard muscle of the back of Dream's neck, and takes several mental notes on the way the nightmare’s head lolls back and the hand on his ribs goes still. Hob turns where he's sitting to bring one leg up on the sofa, to bring himself closer to the odd monster he loves so dearly. He pulls Dream further, already feeling dizzy at the way the jagged, black eyed nightmare with his luminous white skin and razor teeth goes pliantly until he's leant back, practically being dipped with Hob over him.

“I think you need to let go, love. But you don't like what you might do if you let go.” He says with a smile. “How about we try things my way hm? You let go, but you hand the reins to me. Let me take charge.”

Dreams face goes through some fascinating shifts. He gazes up at Hob with such a raw, wounded want that it looks painful before the expression flinches when Hob's other hand comes up to stroke his cheek again. There's a jerk though Dream's limbs, and Hob is sure the joints are doing things that would make him feel queasy if he looked.

“You…here?” Dream asks, and his voice is thin and sharp and shivery. Hob knows why Dream’s clarifying that, and why here is making Dream writhe and flush with his mouth stretched a little too far on teeth that weren't meant for a human jawline. Hob knows that things feel different for Dream, when he's in the Waking. He's a creature of thought and idea, and touches in the more physical Waking world come across stronger than he's used to, more overwhelming. It’s not that Dream never bottoms, or even that he never submits. But it’s always in Dream’s own realm, where his submission isn’t really submission at all, but a coy play where he acts up the part of a sweet wilting fae lover or a wanton hedonist. He has a harder time staying in control of the situation, when they’re in Hob’s world, where there are less heated fantasies for him to sink himself into.

And the Dreamlord would never admit it, but Hob has noticed the way he keeps showing up in the Waking world to initiate things, even if it's just to cuddle up against Hob and find ways to get petted until he turns into a shivering puddle of nerves. But cuddling here is one thing, this is something else, something new.

“Here.” Hob nods, stroking his thumb slow and firm over Dream's nape, feeling the little vibration that goes down Dream's spine from that point. “I need you to say you want me to though, ok?”

That gets a furious, low hiss of a growl. Dream’s eyes flash and he snaps his mouth full of razor teeth with the sound like a bear trap. Hob lets him squirm and hiss and shudder. He's always such a trembling little thing, like there is too much going on inside for his outer shell to hold in. One day, Hob is going to properly catalog all of the ways his cosmic power of a lover shivers like a leaf when he thinks he's keeping himself all grim and stoic. 

“You. Wish me …complicit.” Dream hisses, the words grinding out from his chest, as there's no way the wide maw of needle teeth is currently capable of speaking that clearly. “You would have me voice it. Admit to it. To be brought low and ragged.”

“I want your consent,” Hob huffs a small laugh, which might not be the best response but God does he love this proud twit, “you pretty, deranged little thing. I'm not doing anything if you don't actually want me to, and we can stop at any point. It's important to me that you get that.”

“My consent,” Dream spits, and this time there's a tearing sound when he does start clawing up Hob's upholstery, “is that I am allowing it.”

On paper, true enough. Dream is thrashing and snarling and gnashing his monstrous teeth with eyes like flaming pits. He's also kept in place by the weak, flesh and blood human hand holding him by the back of the neck. The only reason Hob is able to scruff him and have his head tilted pliantly back to expose the long white throat, is because Dream is letting it happen.

“I think you would allow me to do a lot of things you don't want me to.” Hob says gently. The thrashing stills, the snarling quiets, Dream's teeth finally shrink down into more standard shapes.

“There we are.” Hob breathes, smiling. His chest feels like it may burst, like Dream may end up getting his dark little fantasy after all. It's more than any man could deserve, seeing the way Dream goes quiet and panting, eyes fixed wide and blue again as they stare up at Hob. He keeps the hold on Dreams neck, and smoothes the other hand back through Dreams hair. 

Dream makes a thin, fragile sound, eyes flashing black before returning to their clear blue.

“I need to know you actually want this, darling.” Hob explains again. “Not just that you're allowing it. I can't go thinking that you might just be going along with what you think I want from you.”

There's a shift of movement, more of a little squirm than the furious thrashing from a few seconds ago. Dream clenches his jaw together and stares, eyes glittering with new wetness. Christ. Hob is going to get a complex. It can't be good for his ego, having Dream like this.

“Yes.” Dream finally whispers, swallowing thickly. He even nods with little jerky movements against Hob's grip. “I want…what it is, you are planning. Here. In the Waking. I want you to have me. Your way.”

Hob rewards him with a hard kiss, mostly because if he doesn't get his mouth on those quivering pink lips he might explode. Dream goes lax with a whining sound that is absolutely going to give Hob a complex. Plush lips part immediately under his, as sweet as anything. Then teeth flash against his mouth, still sharp and wild but followed fast by Dream’s tongue lapping hungrily at the bite. There are hands clawing at him again, pawing at his back, twisting in his hair, digging into his hips. Dream is doing some impossible wiggling and Hob realizes that there is more than one pair of legs hitching around his hips and tangling between his own legs. It must look like he's snogging an enthusiastic spider.

“Enough of that.” He chides, pushing a hand on Dream's chest. Teeth sink into his lip again, and there's a low growl when Hob pulls his head back so Dream can't start trying to get his tongue down Hob's throat. Or trying to affectionately bite his lips off. “Shush. Lie back, and settle down dearest. Christ, you're all wound up.”

Another small push does the trick. Dream goes down with a little huff when his back hits the sofa. He’s suddenly as meek as a kitten, if that kitten had blood on its lips and a sharp intrigued glint to its eyes. Rather like a kitten then, actually.

Not that Hob is thinking much about kittens. He's far more focused on the way Dream’s skin has gained a more human flush to it, on the curious little chirrup noise that comes from him. He's looking up at Hob with swollen pink lips and his eyes still blue, but the dark blue of a deep ocean. The shirt he's wearing is stretched at the collar, revealing the tantalizing dip of his clavicles, and his ruffled hair is the most adorable thing Hob could imagine. It's such a flip from the snarling monstrous thing Hob had scruffed less than a minute ago, and all of it is so wonderfully Dream. Objectively terrifying in his violence, objectively sexier than sin.

“You're horrible for my ego.” Hob declares, sitting up kneeling between long legs that are still clad in the damn cartoon star pajamas. Dream answers this with a velvety pleased sound, and Hob feels legs bent around his hips and hitched up his waist and one bends a knee up on his shoulder-

“Ah-ah, stick with two.” Hob taps at one of Dream’s thighs before getting to work unbuttoning his shirt enough to tug it up over his head. “We're in my world right now, so we’re doing things my way. With a human shape. And stop eyeballing my ribcage, thanks. I told you we're putting a pin in that.”

He can hear the displeased hissing sound, and decides to give Dream a pass on that. There are times where words seem to lack the correct expressions for the Prince of Stories, and he has an astounding repertoire of inhuman, and even inorganic, sounds to fall back on. Despite his orders to stop with the rib stuff, there are long hands on his sides as soon as his shirt is tossed away. When he looks down, Dream’s eyes are half lidded and dark, fully fixed with stark hunger on Hob’s exposed torso. 

There's a scrape of claw, smoother than before, and the bright line over his side goes right to his prick. It is…so tempting…to change his mind and tell Dream to have at it. Just to see what would happen, to see how it would feel to get torn apart by something that loves him so much. Except there's a little tense pinching at Dreams mouth, even as his eyes darken further and his hands spread over Hob's ribs to feel them expand with each breath.

“Hands to yourself.” Hob decides for both their sakes. He taps a finger between Dream’s eyes in chastisement, and nearly loses that finger when teeth snap up towards it. Dream is fast, but he's used to getting away with things, so there's only a surprised hitch of sound when Hob grabs under his jaw and shoves his head back.

“My way.” Hob reminds him, surprised at how low and rough his own voice comes out.

FULL FIC ON AO3

[anxious-witch]

Part two of this analysis aka Edwin, Charles and asexuality and why I personally like hcing Charles under the ace umbrella rather than Edwin.

Previous part was about why I don't see Edwin as ace and this one is about why I can see Charles as being on ace/ace spectrum.

So, you might be thinking, what the hell is he talking about? Charles clearly flirts with Crystal from the start and is attracted to her!

And to that, I say, yes....and no. He flirts with her from the start, absolutely! I'd even say he likes her immediately and think she is pretty. But given we aren't in his head, we can't really know exactly what he thinks. His reaction certainly isn't as extreme as the one Edwin has to the Cat King, which clearly showed instant sexual attraction.

So, the way I see it, I think he likes Crystal and very quickly develops a crush on her. But those are romantic feelings, not sexual ones. And we all know how intense Charles' feelings are, especially when it comes to devoting himself to someone.

"He literally agrees about being a nice addition to her body count! And he seems to know ghosts and human can have sex!" Yeah. Which is why A) I hc him as demisexual aka only feeling sexual attraction when he already has feelings for someone and B) as an ace person myself, believe me when I say that researching sex as a concept by an ace person is not uncommon. It's interesting part of human experience, whenever you wish that for yourself or not.

But I digress. Back to my point and that is, when does Charles seem to kiss (and if you believe they slept together after that one scene)? When one or both of them are in need of comfort.

We know Charles is physically affectionate person in general, so while I understand the whole thing was muddled with him and Crystal, I do find it odd he never kissed her due to being excited, or relieved. It would be so very in character for him and yet??? We see them kiss, if I remember correctly, after Charles has his breakdown over not being able to stop anything or after the Devlin's house? I mixed up those two in my head but regardless-it's a form of comfort. You know how a lot of ace people who like sex describe why they like it? Because it makes them feel closer to their partner, because yes, the sex itself is enjoyable, but there is no need for it, no attraction to spur it on. But when you care about the person, you want to make them feel good and you want to feel closer to them.

So for Charles, who constantly craves positive validation, especially through touch? I feel like he'd be either sex positive ace or as I mentioned earlier, demisexual. He doesn't seem spurred by it by attraction.

Hell, after Crystal has a nightmare, what is his first instinct? To kiss her. Because he feels helpless with how to help her other than get her closer to him! But , no offense to Crystal, I find it a bit difficult to believe Charles looked at her in that moment, traumatized by the nightmare and thought "god you look so hot right now I have to kiss you".

And again, we see this repeated when Crystal is about to leave for London and she kisses him goodbye. They never kiss as a consequence of something happy. Which yes, can definitely be contributed to the general narrative of that relationship likely being there as more of a comfort but still.

When we talk about headcanon sphere, because I don't pretend like the writers planned on making Charles ace coded, I think it would make sense.

Also why he doesn't clock Edwin's meeting with the Cat King for what they are! He is suspicious, we could even say he is jealous, but up until Edwin doesn't bring up his feelings for Monty, Charles doesn't connect the two. Which I find odd. Charles doesn't seem surprised that Edwin is gay, so how did he not make a connection about the Cat King until that moment?

Unless he usually connects sex with romantic feelings! Of course, he knows other people sometimes don't but surely not Edwin? Surely Edwin would think like Charles and want to love someone before feeling any sort of attraction? Right? Right??

Wrong. You sir, give strong demi vibes.

No but in all seriousness, I feel like Charles being demi/ace doesn't have a lot of uncomfortable implications that Edwin does? And it doesn't play into the stereotypes either. Why not hc someone flirty and easygoing as ace for a change?

Not to mention that he can be flippant around sex because that's what's expected. We know Charles is not above putting up a front if it makes it easier for everyone around him. To feel accepted.

So he likes a girl. She is pretty and powerful and she alive. Of course he is attracted to her. It's natural. That's how attraction is meant to feel like. Right?

And especially with demi hc, I feel like that fits very well bc he is used to having to "convince" himself before he feels the attraction.

Another cool point I could see being raised is how, he thinks Edwin isn't interested in anyone for the longest time, so Charles in turn, fully turns out any possible romantic feelings for him. And in turn then, he never think he can be attracted to Edwin because he could be like oh! No romantic feelings? No attraction either. Cool!

But yeah. Again, just hcs in general, but if we are talking about making someone ace, I feel like Charles is a more logical than Edwin, personally

[nouies]

hello and welcome to this month’s fic rec featuring my favourite works from what i’ve read during the past weeks. as always, please check tags before reading. if you liked the fics please reblog their posts, leave kudos and write a nice comment. happy reading! rec tag | more rec lists

— harry/louis —  

໑ Moths and Butterflies by @ladyaj-13 (G, 1.3k, coming out) It seemed like such a good plan a week ago. It had seemed like fate, for the town’s Pride parade to fall at the very same time when work sent him there to charm some clients. Who was Louis, to sniff at a higher power?

It was exciting, a week ago. Now he’s here though, in the thick of it, and he thought it would feel freeing but it doesn't. It just rams home how he doesn’t belong.

໑ Port and Starbord by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (T, 3k, strangers, pirates, coffee shop) Zayn gives Harry a withering look. “There’s a brothel up the main road that I will know if you try to visit,” he says.

“Zayn,” Harry gasps. “I am your captain.”

“And I am the one who has to procure us another lifeboat now,” Zayn says. “Fuck off and find a cafe or something.”

໑ You're The Pumpkin Of My Eye by @rockstarlwt28 (G, 4k, established relationship, autumn fluff) Harry and Louis go on a seasonal date, that is sweeter than the confectionery in a trick or treat bucket. It’s filled with sweet snuggles, cute kisses and pumpkin picking.

໑ Good and Bad and Right and Wrong by TeamLouis / @teamlouis2023 (E, 5k, established relationship, gym, semi public sex) Louis angrily threw a pillow at his head, but Harry avoided it, laughing loudly as he slammed the door behind him. Louis bit his lip, grumpy and flushed and hard again, tension and arguments like this with his dear husband always a huge turn on. He knew it was his toxic trait, but at the same time, it was so good to let the tension build until it exploded under the sheets. So instead of pouting and groaning in bed, waiting for Harry to leave the house without him like he first intended to do, Louis kicked the sheets of his legs, stripped off his boxers –and gave his cock a few nice quick strokes, before getting dressed for the gym. Harry smiled widely when he joined him in the kitchen. Louis flipped him off. He promised himself he would have his revenge.

Or the one where Louis doesn't want to go to the gym

໑ Smile for the Camera for It Knows Everything, Hollywood Star by @daydreamlwts (M, 6.6k, american politics au, pwp) Prompt 132- The story of Nancy Reagan being called the blowjob queen of Hollywood but it's Louis.

໑ Sink Through Your Skin by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel (M, 6.9k, established relationship, murderer harry, detective louis) It’s tough work being a detective. Long hours on the job, grueling cases that keep you up at night, but it’s especially hard to be a detective when you’re married to a serial killer.

໑ Ace of Hearts by @allwaswell16 (E, 10k, a/b/o pirate au, established relationship, sequel) Louis Tomlinson, the alpha Duke of Yorkshire, had returned to England to stay now that he’d married and mated. But since his husband was also the omega he’d once held captive aboard his half-brother’s pirate ship, he held back from pushing Harry into parenthood.

With the Ace of Spades now docked in London, Harry spent time with his friends from the crew and remained a bit oblivious to his alpha’s deepest desires. What he was aware of was his best friend’s hurt and his mother-in-law’s wish for more than friendship with her oldest friend.

A sequel to Ace of Spades

໑ I (Don't) Really Care For You by @crochetsunsets (M, 11k, strangers to lovers, writer louis, uni student harry, nyc) “There’s always the worst case scenario,” Zayn said while the subway pulled to a stop. “Get your heart broken. Then you can write through experience.”

“Yeah, right,” Louis called after him while Zayn hopped off of the train. “You try falling in love in New York City.”

or

Louis' a writer who needs to learn heartbreak. Harry's a graduate student who doesn't want to break his heart. What happens when they come together--the inevitable, or something more?

໑ The Wild Night to Memory Loss to Soul Mates Pipeline thecheshirepussycat / @the-cheshire-pussy-cat (E, 17.6k, strangers to lovers, married in vegas, romantic comedy) “What the fuck are you on—holy shit,” Louis gasps, looking down at his own hand to see a white gold band wrapped his left ring finger. “Wh-what is going on?” “Sure is a conundrum,” the man muses, realization flashing in his green eyes. “I-I’m not married, I can’t be married,” Louis mumbles to himself, staring wide-eyed at the ring, heart racing a mile a minute.

AKA: Harry and Louis get drunkenly married in Las Vegas, as one does.

໑ there's a hole in my heart (and it's got your name on it) by dilfrry / @silverfoxrry (E, 19.5k, secret relationship, hockey au) The four scream from the stands as the team huddles together, pulling their helmets and gloves off and slapping each other's backs as they celebrate their win. Louis had stolen a pom-pom from Mal earlier and he shakes it vigorously. His breath hitches when Harry looks up and their eyes meet. The hockey player smirks at him but looks away quickly.

“Did he just-”

“No.” Louis quickly stops Jade from even finishing that sentence because he’s about to lose his damn mind.

or

the puck bunny louis x hockey player harry fic

໑ love is pain, pain is pleasure by @louixamor (E, 25k, enemies to lovers, famous louis, not famous harry, bodyguard) After a series of disturbing events threaten his safety, Louis has no choice but to hire a new bodyguard.

Enter Harry, an incredibly attractive, judgmental asshole who hates Louis’ guts.

໑ Take Me Home (series) by @jacaranda-bloom (E, 26.4k, strangers to lovers, songwriter louis, wanderer harry, country fic) Louis loves his new home, up high on the mountainside, and the perfect place to write his songs. Sure, it’s isolated, but that was the point. No distractions, no interruptions. Peace and quiet and tranquillity.

But when a stranger arrives and asks if he can camp by the riverside, Louis surprises himself by agreeing without a moment's pause.

OR the story of how when you think you’ve got everything you ever wanted, life has a way of showing you just how wrong you were.

໑ The wounds that scarred our souls by @hazzaslittle28 (E, 35k, exes to lovers, a/b/o au, hate sex, angst, drops, read tags and author’s note) Forever was nothing but a lie, Forever was just a ruse for the human heart, it gave you hope and then killed you. Forever was just a myth.

Or

Where Louis decides to leave everything behind, including his heart.

໑ always an angel, never a god by @outropeace (E, 39.5k, strangers to lovers, fashion designer louis, rumours, humour) To understand the level of deep water Louis was in, one first needed to know he has had the same best friend since he was five. Ethan Astor was family to him—a friend who he loved deeply despite their differences. A friend he would do almost anything for. So when Ethan came to him with the plan, no matter how he felt about it, Louis accepted it.

At first, it was simple, he just had to flutter his eyelashes at any of the boys that showed interest in Ethan, and if they fell for it, he just dumped them without telling them the reason. Somehow, the rumors spread around campus that Ethan had an insufferable friend they had to somehow win over to reach him. Like a final monster before getting the princess.

Or: Harry likes Louis’ best friend and there's a rumor that in order to get a chance with him, he should woo Louis first.

໑ Three Men and a Baby by sun_flowr / @escapesof28 (E, 123k, strangers to lovers, roommates, fluff, kid fic) Louis' life had been going along just fine. Until one morning when his entire world changes when he steps on a piece of lego belonging to a young boy who has randomly appeared in his flat. And with that boy comes his gorgeous father. His flatmate Zayn has some explaining to do but he's definitely not complaining, instantly feeling connected to these new additions. Over the span of a year, life gets crazy, frustrating, surprising and most importantly...filled with love.

Prompt 548: For as long as Louis can remember, it has only been him and his best friend Zayn in their little flat, but when Zayn comes home telling Louis about his friend with nowhere to stay after a bad breakup, Louis suddenly finds himself sharing his flat with a gorgeous green-eyed man called Harry along with his adorable toddler son.

— rare pairs / categories —  

໑ Gaydar Lessons by @homosociallyyours (girl direction harry/louis, G, 1k, friends, flirting) While standing around after softball practice for the company's women's softball team, Harry gets caught (and caught up) in staring at Louis as she eats a ripe, juicy peach. If only she could be certain that Louis was into women.

໑ My Kind of Trouble by @homosociallyyours (girl direction harry/louis, G, 1.7k, waffle house) Harry has been a waitress at the Waffle House in Pigeon Forge, TN since she was nineteen. At twenty-five, she's settled into the routine of it enough that it feels like home, but for the past few months there's been something making it feel even better: the return of Louis Tomlinson, her high school crush.

On this particular Summer night, Louis stops by for a visit and the two of them share a table in a slow moment as Harry does a bit of side work. It's sweet in more ways than one, so much so that Harry has a hard time letting herself believe that it's real.

໑ Ask Him by LinksLipsSinkShips (niall/lewis capaldi, T, 2k, established relationship, coming out) When Lewis Capaldi gets pressed for information on who he's dating, he admits it... he's been seeing Niall Horan. The only problem? He jokes so much that no one believes him.

໑ the beat of your heart, the devil's arcade by edensrose / @holdingthornsandroses (louis/ethan hawke, M, 3.5k, established relationship, newlyweds, baseball au) “Louis Tomlinson, shortstop to the Cardinals, marries pitcher for their rival team, the Chicago Cubs,” Oli says in a fake announcer voice. He shakes his head. “One day someone will make a movie about it."

series of vignettes

໑ i must admit i thought i'd like to make you mine by @disgruntledkittenface (girl direction harry/louis, M, 50k, strangers to friends to lovers, fake relationship) Louis fell apart when her ex broke up with her and moved across the country. Just as she’s starting to move on, Zayn comes back to town for their mutual friends’ wedding – with a new girlfriend as her plus one.

Blindsided and scrambling to save face, Louis lets herself get talked into a fake relationship with her new friend Harry. Their arrangement makes Louis feel pathetic and embarrassed, but it’s only going to last a few weeks. She just has to get through the wedding – what could happen?

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Carlisle is turned by the Volturi instead (ex: maybe with his gift they were “like okay super cool due, also Aro conveniently likes Blondes”) Does he still do animal diet? Does he stay in Volterra?

Well, the thing is, he'd be extremely unhappy about this.

The thing about Carlisle when first turned is he genuinely thought he was a demon. It wasn't until later that Carlisle's feelings on this cooled and eventually became the kind of acceptance where he forgot other people aren't cool being turned into vampires even if their lives are over.

Carlisle doesn't seem to hold too much of a grudge against the vampire who turned him and while he never gets into this I personally think it's a combination of a) it being partly his own fault in setting out a mob to confront this thing he had no understanding of b) it happening so fast. One moment Carlisle is sprinting after a monster, the next he's crawling into potatoes to save himself. Carlisle's creator is barely even a concept to him and not someone who seemed to turn Carlisle by choice. (That the guy was hanging around London, let loose a newborn, and had a buffet of angry mobsters is a different story.)

This is something different.

Carlisle finds himself turned by men who frankly look and act like demons/a part of some demonic order (dark cloaks, a clear hierarchy, turn Carlisle with the expectations that he join their ranks to become some kind of duke of Hell) who turned him because they think he should use his psychic abilities (also likely imparted by the devil) for evil.

Carlisle is extremely hostile and dubious of his creators (believing any attempt at looking/being nice is a test whose failure he can't afford) and is constantly trying to both leave and kill himself.

I imagine Caius does the honors sooner rather than later (though in this world I imagine his respect and fondness for Carlisle is much higher, as this Christian lunatic is fucking hilarious and just causing Aro so much pain). It's especially hilarious because Carlisle profusely thanks him and clearly thinks of Caius as not entirely corrupted.

Caius thinks it's the greatest jester Volterra's ever had.

[vryfmi]

POSTER ANALYSIS BECAUSE MY BRAIN REFUSES TO BELIEVE LOCKWOOD&CO IS ACTUALLY BECOMING A REAL TV SHOW

beware: a long post

- SKULL IS HERE SKULL IS HERE SKULL IS HERE honestly, after "the Golden Blade" character that really threw me off it's good to see this iconic bastard appear on screen. low key sad it's not pulling any faces (yet)

- “Hunt or be Haunted”. this one really took me by surprise. the change of tagline suggests that our smallest agency in London and their business is no longer the only focus of the story. it gives more of a feel of survival story rather then underdogs type of story tho. we'll see where it goes

- the logo is growing on me, it still looks too polished to me, compared to any of book logos which were, well, logos, and here it's just font. but it goes nicely with brutalism aesthetic, sPEAKING OF WHICH-

- yall see this? they are actually going with brutalism for their world?? not a sugar-coated London with beautiful scenery of old european city?? thank you l&co crew i love you for doing your hw.

<...> For a while any object even dimly supposed to have some kind of psychic residue was treated with terror and disgust. Items of old furniture were burned, and random antiques smashed or thrown into the Thames. A priceless painting in the National Portrait Gallery was hurled to the floor and trampled on by a vicar, ‘because it looked at me in a funny way’. Anything with a strong connection to the past was considered suspect, and a cult of modern objects grew up, which remains with us even now. <...>

there's nothing good in what past holds in their world. people are paranoid because no one knows where new outbreak will happen. of course there are blocks of concrete for flats, of course it's cold, of course it's surreal to see London like this. it's alternative London.

- i love these ghost lamps, they are my new fixation. they are so big and so out of place. obsessed even. ufo looking. my love. ghost lamp my beloved

- rapiers, you love to see those

everyone has a unique hilt. im so normal

- last but not least: composition. i think it ties nicely back to tagline change since, yes, it would be nice to see idk Portland Row being shown. but no, characters are in the middle of empty street, looking at something that we can't see. they are agents after all - seeing things outside regular person's comprehension is their thing. they are distressed but got their rapiers at ready. sky is getting dark, ghost lamp (my beloved) is on, quiet city is cowardly seen underneath. f i t t i e s i s b e h i n d e v e r y t h i n g

NOW ON TO THE CHARACTERS

they are all so awkward looking, my divvies

- SKULL my man got a nice looking prison, i like the handle, it's handy. now i see why Lucy will struggle while breaking this jar with poop statue. now waiting for his cast announcement :/

- Lucy got the biggest wardrobe update, kinda digging it. definitely more practical, but it's sad to see heavy boots go. but now everyone is much quicker on their feet, especially after seeing how fast these ghosts are. ARE THOSE FLARES ON HER BELT

- not to be that person, but Cameron was born for this role. really aching to seeing more of his acting and his way of bringing Lockwood on the big screen. also thank lord he's wearing trainers. he already has a safety hazard coat, if there was one more formal piece of clothing he’d died on spot- wait he still has a tie- credit goes to @lucyjcarlyle for pointing out Lockwood's ring, can't wait to find out it is a family relic and die inside

- George by Ali actually feels like George, right? baggy clothes, bag that weights him, something about his posture - all those things add to recognition of character despite differentiating from books’ description. it’s sad we didn’t get to see him in teaser

- and they all look relatively young! like this thumbnail really captures it

also, im not the only one who sees the iconic @doodlingraka's colour palette everywhere, right? because i dig it and i want more

in conclusion: it doesn’t look perfect, lets be honest here, but Cornish’s interview puts it all together in a perspective. this show is a love letter to horror movies of last century. they were clumsy, too, but they knew how to scare its viewer in a smart way. and that’s what books did, now it’s time to pay a tribute. at least i want to believe so

[toomuchracket]

do you think d!word girlie is all into her wellness and working out? idk, I picture her as being really into her skincare and pilates etc when she has the time? and maybe she works out with matty sometimes, like maybe she introduces him to some skincare products, or when she’s out he uses some of her bath salts or moisturisers because they smell like her <3

anything to decrease the stress of your job, you're into lmao. i don't think you're necessarily at the gym every day, maybe a couple of times a week when you can, but i see you as being a fan of a daily youtube yoga/pilates/morning and evening stretches (sidenote these are actually p good) sesh. i'm sure i saw someone say on here that doing yoga in matty's house would be so good because it's so calm - that's one of the first things you say when you go over there for the first time for drinks with everyone, and matty chokes on his wine at the thought of you a) casually being in his house, b) casually being in his house in workout gear, and c) casually being in his house in workout gear stretching your body out. and then he feels guilty for thinking that. but he's like "well you can test that theory out whenever you want lol", and you just giggle but internally you spiral a lil bit. you do try it, though, once you start dating, and after matty does his "obligatory boyfriend ogling bit" (his words) he actually joins in; in return, you go to jiu jitsu with him a couple of times, but as we've seen from previous blurbs you're both far too competitive and far too horny to actually progress with it lmfao. the "too horny" thing is also why you and matty only go to the gym together on tour when there's no real other option - he's been yelled at by his pt too many times for looking at you do a spin workout or squats instead of doing his own workouts lmao (and you're no better, staring at him with obvious lust as he does literally anything all sweaty and breathless). but aside from that, you both like going for walks and hiking and stuff, so you do that together with no issues lol.

and skincare/beauty/wellness... let's just say, you are a woman on a decent pay grade (i know they're skint. but this is fiction! either way, i suppose, you have a simpy rich boyf who likes spoiling you, so you have Funds lol) with a space nk loyalty card, and by god do you use it to buy some fancy moisturisers and makeup and fragrance. but also you're a boots girly who loves a garnier sheet mask. duality! i think matty learned about your interest in it pretty quickly - thinking one of your earlier dates as an exclusive couple in a central london restaurant was interrupted by you getting a notification that your click and collect space nk order was in, and you were like "oh i'll pick that up tomorrow", and matty was like "babe we can get it when we leave here lol we might as well if we're nearby". once you collected the order (while you queued, matty test-sprayed all of the perfumes to find out which one you wore so he could buy you it for your birthday lmao) and the two of you were settled with a drink in a nearby bar, matty was like "so. what did you get?" and literally made you do an unboxing for him lmfao; he was so cute, though, genuinely interested in what you were saying about your purchases and asking questions and smelling the body lotions and whatever. you actually bought him a little travel size version of a lotion he loved the scent of, but ever since you guys started properly dating and staying with each other he just steals yours lol. but you don't mind, because he has a really nice shower gel that you always use when you're at his, so it balances out. like you said, it's a comfort thing - you both use each other's things (and the bath salts you reserve for when the two of you have romantic baths together) because they smell like them, and it makes you feel safe. it's the same with you guys and evening skincare, you and matty just love the little rituals you share and time you spend together every night you're both in the same place, and it just feels so cosy and comforting and domestic and sweet <3

[bedlamsbard]

how would you do 2012-era Winter Soldier Steve for Yonder AU Bucky-Cap

See, with this one it's less about WS!Steve, because the Winter Soldier doesn't play any role in the 2012 film there I'd not really thought about what he'd do. It's really the kind of thing that would get spurred into motion because now the Yonder Trio is there and Yonder!Steve is not going to rest until he gets this thing sorted out without the CATWS murder planes etc. Remember, Yonder!Steve is also Horizon!Steve, who came within a hair's breadth of getting Winter Soldiered and is still pretty significantly messed up by it. It was his personal private nightmare before Horizon, so finding out that there exists a universe where it actually happened back in 1945 is uh. not a fun time for him. (Well, if Endgame can do a Cap vs Cap fight...that's one thing I was really sad about not being able to fit into Yonder, either Cap vs Cap or Widow vs Widow -- I don't think Yonder!Loki punching out 2012!Loki counts.)

This is not precisely a BuckyCap even though he's in a Captain America uniform -- this is the thing I had to change yesterday once I started thinking about the base worldbuilding of the AU.

The divergence point of the AU is that Steve is the one who falls off the train in CATFA, not Bucky, and the events of CATFA in the broad strokes go naturally from there -- the assault on the Hydra base, the fight with Schmidt, Bucky going down in the Valkyrie and getting frozen. (Probably the actual details of the fight go differently, but broad strokes.) I generally put about a week between the train fight and the assault, to give the Howlies time to get back to London (with the "under twenty-four hours" being between London and Austria, I know some writers who ignore that entirely and put months between). Those events went differently -- while there's probably a sweet moment between Peggy and Bucky, both grieving, Howard very publicly and very dramatically blamed Bucky for Steve's apparent death, which is why Bucky is so prickly about Tony's mention of Howard.

(Steve going missing a week earlier than he did in canon did not make Howard any less obsessed with Steve. In fact, it probably made it worse, because the differences between falling from the train and going down in the Valkyrie mean that (a) Howard can blame people and (b) is even more convinced that ever that Steve survived, just no one is looking, don't they care? So that very slightly changes Howard's dynamics with everyone going forward. but also makes, you know, the murder in 1991 way worse. It does not improve Tony's relationship with his father or his Captain America issues.)

Bucky brought the shield back to the SSR after the train, but didn't take it on the assault, so for sixty-seven years it was just sitting in SHIELD's storage because no one knew what to do with it. Howard threw his weight around every time someone suggested making a new Captain America, backed up by Peggy, who had slightly more mixed feelings about it than he did but wasn't any happier about the idea either.

Fast forward to 2012, when SHIELD pulls Bucky Barnes out of the ice. They are more than a little startled, because they didn't know about the whole super soldier thing, but Nick Fury has Seen Some Shit so it's taken pretty much in stride. He doesn't get the stage show treatment that Steve gets at the end of CATFA, but otherwise SHIELD treats him pretty much the same until Loki shows up at Project Pegasus. Fury and Coulson haul him over to the helicarrier (less hero worship on Coulson's part, because he's a Cap fanboy, not a Howling Commandos fanboy) and present him with the shield and a nice speech about Steve Rogers' legacy.

Bucky tells them to fuck off, there's no power on this earth that will make him pick up that shield, and don't they dare say one word about what Steve Rogers would have wanted, they don't know anything about him. They are still arguing about it when Loki shows up at Stuttgart and Bucky has to go do the thing. He puts on the uniform (under protest), but won't take the shield. It is not the 2012 Cap uniform, but a different Captain America-inspired one that blends the Cap-and-Howlie aesthetics a little. (Presumably the three-way forest fight with Tony and Thor also goes a little differently, but it has the same ultimate result of everyone back on the helicarrier.)

The gang is having their regularly scheduled "you want to use the Tesseract to make weapons????" argument in the lab when the Yonder trio shows up. (Bucky does not go searching and find the WWII Hydra gear, because unlike Steve Rogers, he does not have border collie brain.)

I assume that even with Steve getting Winter Soldiered in this 'verse rather than Bucky, most of the Winter Soldier's history goes pretty much the same -- I don't think we know enough to say what might have actually gone differently if one switches them out for each other. (Except that Natasha might recognize Steve straight-off from their encounter in 2009, if he wasn't masked then.)

[collectivecloseness]

Not to be one of those "I can fix him" type person but I honestly think that if kurt had gotten a significant other (or a friend) the whole spree thing wouldn't have happened because I think that the killing was not only about the views but also because he was lonely and didn't have anyone that cared about him

I’m going to be upfront about this now, but my answer is coming from a place of actual character analysis, rather than a ficcy answer, because it’s my honest opinion.

If you’d seriously befriended or gotten into a relationship with Kurt two, maybe a year, earlier, yes, you could have changed things. If it’d been some months earlier, no.

We see London being nothing but nice to Kurt. Giving him physical affection, flirting with him, being genuinely nice. I believe the writers put her there as a show of this. Hey, to anyone who might be attracted to Kurt at this point in the film, or feel bad for him, thinks he would only kill those who are bad, or thinks I can fix him, this character, half way through the film, is to show that no, you couldn’t. Someone nice and trying to connect with Kurt, treating him not like a loser, touching him, genuinely treating him like a human, or even like a potential love interest, is not an exception. It’s to really expand on Kurt’s character.

You saw him killing a white supremacist asshole first. Then some woman who you never really get to know, they imply her to be rude, but actually she doesn’t really do much wrong. If we’d known her character, we wouldn’t think she deserved to die, but she doesn’t get as much direction on her specifically, and we’re close to Kurt, so we don’t care. Then another asshole that he kills, and in a funny way, after defending a woman’s honour beforehand, and with Bobby, another asshole, goading Kurt, you want him to succeed with a triple KO, show that hey he is seriously doing all this, and people should be watching, because he’s actually doing something incredible. Bad, but incredible.

And then he brutally murders London, with a massive smile on his face, and he clearly planned it all and had nooo qualms about it. Not a single one. Kurt did not care. His character starts to change then. You could feel bad for London, maybe you don’t. But she dies, even though she did nothing wrong, and actually treated Kurt decently.

Then he goes on to murder a kid he used to babysit, someone he looked after for years as a child, and you start to think that’s a bit fucked up of him. But still, Bobby has been an asshole the entire time, and Kurt is our protag we’ve been with, and still like, and want to keep watching. Obviously the scene of him showering blood off while manically giggling about 100 viewers, which isn’t even a lot, is showing how mad he is, but also it’s a great scene, you’re enjoying watching his madness. And then after the whole thing with DJ Uno it’s him saying fuck the homemless, murdering an innocent driver (albeit offscreen), then insinuating SA with Jessie, and realising he murdered his mum, watching him murder his dad as well, and trying to kill Jessie too.

I mean, this is even coming from a slightly ficcy POV, but I genuinely think some of the only ways you’d survive, is A) be like Jessie apart from the show that night. Slightly famous, and with a bigger asshole in the car, someone Kurt not only would defend you against to show his fans but because he genuinely feels the need/want to with zero hesitation as a person, and the getting out when you can. Sure Kurt’s a bit obsessive, but if you’re doing something boring that night, and hopefully didn’t make too much of an impression, hopefully your content was enough for him to keep going with his plan and it’s too hard to track your address. That, or B), have seen Kurt’s socials before...

Especially if it’s slightly early on, but not his first victim. If you were like you look familiar he’d happily go on his Kurtsworld96 tangent, and say you’d been recommended that video of him and his dogs, with 12 views, and you watched it yesterday, because dogs. You even left a nice comment, again, because dogs, Kurt goes crazy. An actual fan meeting him in the wild? He wants to talk to you so badly. Wants you in the front, so he can see that his video is in your YouTube history. So he can see your reactions as he talks to you! He saw your comment, obviously, and it made him go wild. Because he barely gets any comments ever, and only like 5 times where they’ve actually been nice. You talk to him about his video, and he’s just going “Yes!” Everytime you mention a detail and he’s talking more about the bts of it and you’re interested. You follow his YouTube there and then and he’s so full of glee and warmth.

He’ll ask - to his cameras though - if his kurtie wants a selfie, and you take one with him, peace sings of course, he even adorns you with free swag from the back, a Kurtsworld96 cap. He doesn’t want to kill you because he thinks it’ll send a bad message to his fans. He still only has a couple of people watching, so he wants them to know he’s safe, and they can be his fan, or even come up to him today and say hi! His fans can get a spree ride today and meet him! So he won’t let you drink the water. He’ll let you go home.

But even that’s partly just so people don’t not want to become his fan, if he only has like nine subscribers and he’s still offing one of them. If it had been later in #thelesson, where he had more people watching, not only is he more swayed by them, but he’s less just genuinely giddy and in awe of you, but trying to put on a show, and feeling powerful enough to try and beat his score. Maybe he won’t kill you, maybe. Maybe he’ll just take you to his home instead. Maybe you can find out what the ‘marry’ option actually means. But again, even that’s a slight more ficcy answer. And I already had this as an idea for a fic plan hahaha.

Kurt is too far gone prior to the film. He is delusional, creating a complex, and all he wants is his moment in the spotlight, and eternal infamy. Even being remembered as a bad guy, and being made fun of by his ‘fans’ the entire time he is doing it.

Spree killers don’t go into their sprees thinking they’re coming out of them alive. It’s different than serial killing. Almost every single spree kill ends in the murderer being killed by police, or them killing themselves. Very rarely do they live, and if they do, it was almost definitely not in their plan to. Kurt knows he’ll probably die, he’s definitely going to get caught anyway, I mean he’s literally broadcasting all his crimes, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to get the record, for more infamy, and go as far as he can, make things as extreme as possible, for more chance of clout.

He has a shitty home life, even though he liked being social he wasn’t very good at it, he substitutes followers, numbers, for actual human connection. I don’t know if you’ve seen his Tiktok about how his customers are one step away from being a fan, a fan is a friend to him, and his friends are family. It sounds like he’s going on a bit of a rant, like someone/something reminded him of his loneliness, and he’s trying to prove it. That numbers, or good interactions with customers (we know he loves his high five star spree ratings), mean he is popular and liked and basically has friends. He needs friends to be his family, because his actual parents don’t give him the emotional support he needs. Maybe his dad tried a little, but he’s screwed things up a few too many times for Kurt to trust him enough to let him back in, or be someone for him, even if his dad did try.

Kurt is 100% lonely, and it seems he had a lonely childhood as well, from inferences, references, and even his draw my life vid, etc. If he’d had someone, a close friend, a partner, a good therapist, if he’d had someone with him maybe a year or two prior. If he’d started to obsess more over that connection with someone versus numbers, started to see a real relationship with one real and there person as more valuable then those numbers (when his viewers aren’t even nice to him but he doesn’t care because it’s still attention), it may have been different.

Obviously you don’t want Kurt to be too obsessive or dependent, especially if he feels like you’re the one person he has. But if you were there to show him healthy love (platonic or romantic), walk him through healthy boundaries that he trusts you enough to stick by, get him in therapy where he can realise that he didn’t not get hugged enough as a child and swapping human connection for clout is a toxic and not worthy opponent of real life human love. If he’d gotten that in a time before, you may have been able to pull him out before it was too late.

But Kurt hits his 23rd birthday, on April Fool’s day, and goes on his spree killing shortly after. He planned a bit before that most likely, but his birthday (I just inferred from his driving license and when the events of the film take place) was probably a catalyst, and a last straw for him to be like ‘see? Things didn’t get any better. Now I’m seriously going to do my preparations now for #TheLesson, because I’m 23 and have nothing left to live for anyway’. Especially in a society where 23 can be seen as old, especially when it comes to being an online content creator. He’s still stuck with lousy parents, doesn’t have a fancy job to at least brag about, even if he likes spreeing it still might get him snide comments off of people or his mum or something, his dj/influencer career is still going nowhere, so he might as well go out with a bang.

He’s been trying to be an influencer for ten years by the point of the film, and has watched someone he watched grow up become famous and loved and worshipped, while, even with hanging onto the coattails of Bobby to get some exposure, since he obviously will have been in some of his posts over his career, he still rarely reaches double digits. And that’s numbers alone, not likes, or comments, or dono’s, or anything even slightly personal. Not just an anonymous number behind a screen. Kurt won’t want to give up now.

And the more he’s tried and craved this attention, especially while growing up where he’ll have less adults sticking up for him or being nice or promising he’s worth something, can be something, less kids in his class who he can see everyday or have to be nice or work with him on projects, less hope from others around him that’s he’s young and can do amazing things and can be better than his parents or can get out and do something. Kurts lost more, and held onto that need for clout/attention as his only source of escape and love as times gone on. He’s romanticised the life of fame so badly. He’s obsessed over it. He’s had to numb himself more and more to the world. Nothing else matters but at least an extra number means he’s making progress, he’s doing something, he can show people. That’s one thing to at least be happy about, in his day. Everything else sucks, but if he keeps holding onto that one thing, puts all his eggs in one basket, he’ll eventually win... one way or another.

Numb the emotions. Displace that need for human love to attention from anyone and anywhere he can get it, he’s so starved, any flicker of a possibility of attention he will cling onto and fight for tooth and nail, even if they’re shaking him off and yelling at him for being a fucking freak at the same time. Kurts always been a loser, but he just doesn’t want to lose completely. He needs at least some vindication, if he gets lots of viewers, at least he’s going out with attention in one way or another.

I can’t remember the name of the psychological study, but it showed that children who didn’t have secure attachments at an extremely young age, getting worse as they got older, would suffer from disorganised attachment behaviour and indiscriminately friendly behaviour. Being super attached and overly friendly to any adult they come into contact with because they haven’t experienced that secure love they innately need. No matter if a person could be dangerous, or bad for you, or you know nothing about them, you cling to them because there’s a chance they’ll give you anything, and any attention/affection from a person you would desperately grab onto, and need it back as soon as they pulled away. I feel like Kurt would be a bit like that with people. His parents weren’t great with him, they were neglectful. He was probably seen as weird as child and didn’t have many friends in his own age group too.

If you’re even halfway nice to Kurt when he meets you, he may cling to you desperately, and use any tactics, despair, manipulation, overeagerness, anything to get you to stay. But when he substitutes no actual human connection in his life for numbers on the screen, all that gets even more scrambled. Kurts pretty fucked up, but learning you could have fame and fans instead of friends and family, watching Bobby get millions and worshipped, he sees that as even greater than just like one friend (even though he sees all his fans as friends because he severely needs friends (who are an equivalent of family to him) so so badly), because if no one is truly loving him, he can at least have hundreds, thousands, millions giving him attention. Because surely that’s got to be massive.

So while Kurt substitutes numbers online for actual affection, attention, and connection, he has been too far gone for a while. He’s changed as a person, quicker and quicker in the last year or two especially. Become less empathetic, even though he still craves love just as much, if not more. Although he might not realise it in the most coherently thought out sense, like instead of I want to settle down with someone and have steady work friends, it could devolve into I want someone to hold me, and never ever leave my side, and show haters I’m not a virgin, and have a bunch of fans who worship me, and have someone there for me, someone to collab with too, while I gain more and more loyal kurties. Even though Kurt is still emotional, his emotions are more displaced and rabid, turn more dysfunctional and toxic, letting himself spiral in unhealthy coping mechanisms because it’s easier, and then he can focus solely on his influencer career more.

Kurt Kunkle will have changed a lot as person in the year prior to #TheLesson. A simple close friend/partner and therapy sessions might not be enough to make him see what he already has right in front of him. Make him give up trying to be an influencer, delete his cringy content, and get on having a different, but nice life, with someone else, and maybe others as he goes along.

No. He cannot give up on his dream. Anyone who tells him to is just a hater. They don’t believe in him. They don’t realise how important he is, and how important he is to his fans. They think he is a loser. They just want him to change. Maybe after they’ve changed him, they’ll realise he’s still not good enough, since they clearly think it anyways because they keep trying to change him, and they’ll leave, and he’ll be back to square one, and completely alone now. He’s not going to give up on his dream, by that point, he needs it. And he will not listen to reason that he doesn’t.

Being famous has seemed like a closer more achievable goal, and the one thing he actually needs, he’d probably dump his friend/partner if they put their foot down and said it was them or Kurtsworld96. He doesn’t need anyone, by this point, everyone’s let him down. But he’s made such a grandiose thing of his channel, that he can be this good and big, that he’s too far gone. But if he loses you, and still doesn’t get that, things only get worse for him, and he only gets darker, and more needy for that fame.

The delusions of grandeur get deeper, and his god complex for his ‘fans’, for him being the one to take life so easily, gets worse. And he really doesn’t care that much.

While I do think Kurt needed all that love, the affection, attention, connection, everything, especially since he was severely starved of it as a child, if you hadn’t gotten to him about a year or so earlier, Kurt would’ve been too far gone. He would’ve changed. Wouldn’t have wanted to turn back. Your only hope of getting out alive, is your own escape attempts, or him being so obsessively and toxically attached to you, he can’t let go, even though that seriously means no matter what...

[polijakefim]

Meet Travis the Aussie who's big Down Under BRIEFS ENCOUNTER THAT CHANGED 'CROC DUNDEE' KID'S LIFE As he scanned the Los Angeles horizon with just $60 in his pocket and beaten-up old shoes on his feet, newly-arrived Travis Fimmel had little idea of what fate held in store for him.

Just a year or so earlier, this latter-day Crocodile Dundee was running barefoot around his family's dairy farm in Australia and tearing about the bush on a motorbike.

Now Travis, 21, was on the verge of fame and fortune - but old habits die hard. As he walked into the offices of LA Models, he realised that he had instinctively slung his tatty trainers over his shoulder.

He needn't have worried. Model booker Paul Nelson cast a professional eye over the muscular torso topped with an angelic, boyish face - and signed him on the spot.

"He had a beautiful face, a very funny personality - it all clicked," says Nelson. "We helped him out with money and a place to stay. We believed in him from the beginning."

That was last April. The young man who used to milk cows to earn pocket money was months away from one of the biggest deals with Calvin Klein since Kate Moss made her name at the fashion house.

THE extremely well-endowed Aussie, now 22, is on a six-figure deal to front the underwear campaign that has sent ripples of desire and envy throughout the population.

Gazing down from a giant billboard in downtown New York, Travis is an Adonis clad in skimpy white briefs. His image is plastered on billboards and in magazines worldwide. A week ago, he was in London's Selfridges autographing underwear for fans.

But when he opens his mouth to speak, the words that come tumbling out are not in sync with his sex-symbol status. In his Aussie drawl, he says frankly of the huge poster: "I don't look at it, man." He is also quick to laugh off the idea of being an object of desire for many women - and some men, too.

"Can't take it seriously, mate. Embarrassing. Funny." Then with a cheeky smile, he relents saying: "It's good, it makes a lot of people happy."

There is no holding back the Aussie bluntness. He says of new boss Klein: "You'd think he'd be stuck-up but he's just so down-to-earth. He's rich as f***, though."

After appearing in a Jennifer Lopez video, he described the diva thus: "She's got a fat a*** but she's very nice." As for his instant success and the underwear shoots: "I felt like a p***k. I was very self-conscious I have to say, mate." Still, at least he did them. He once declared: "No way, mate, I'm not wearing jocks."

These days Travis has more "jocks" than he can use. Along with the year-long contract comes a supply of Calvin Klein pants: "I've got 500 pairs of them at home. I only have to wash about once every two months."

Travis grew up on his parents' remote farm 26 miles outside Echuca in Victoria. The youngest of three brothers, he worked on the farm and rode around on motorcycles and hunted foxes.

Proud mother Jenny says: "He would disappear and camp out for the night. Even now, he jumps on a motorbike and heads out to see what's been happening on the farm." She offers some insight into why her son is dismissive about his good looks: "He was small, the little guy, so it doesn't suit his character to make a big deal about his looks."

At 17, Travis moved to Melbourne to play football and study sport management at university. But hopes of a sporting career were dashed when he broke his leg.

It was while working out in a Melbourne gym that he was spotted by a talent scout from Peter Chadwick Model Agency.

Booker Matthew Anderson recalls: "He never saw himself as a star and I don't think he does now. He is either genuinely not aware of his appearance, or he's just playing it cool. It might be a mixture of both." Part-time modelling jobs took Travis from Melbourne to London. At 19, he dated then All Saint Nicole Appleton. But after a short affair, Travis dipped out of the limelight, dumping Nicole because she was "boring".

It was only a matter of time before he decided to try his luck in America. "Just to see the country," he says. "I keep saying: 'I am not a model, mate. It's just a job to make money to travel'."

After being plucked from obscurity by LA Models, the young Aussie found himself in close proximity to a number of leading ladies.

But his talent for speaking his mind appears to be almost as big as his talent for filling Calvin Klein's new Body Underwear line. He even describes playing the love interest in a Janet Jackson video as "cheesy". Today he lives in LA and is more likely to be found surfing the waves than trapped inside a gym: "I'm the most unhealthy person in the world."

Travis has also been spotted out with Hollywood beauty Meg Ryan, 40. The pair recently dined at Manhattan's Nobu sushi restaurant owned by Robert De Niro. They shared plates of raw fish and giggled like schoolkids.

But we'll have to wait to see whether a more mature woman can tame this wandering Aussie spirit. "Modelling is so boring," he confides. "It's meant to be glamorous but you sit there for ages.

"I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I might go home straight after this. I might go travelling again. My plan is to make a plan."Interview by Emma Hibbs

[readandenjoy]

Brian May x Male Reader Oneshot! (my first publication that emotion) ((ENGLISH))

Warnings: Overly cute, Brian being too sweet, You're sweet

Brian would definitely be the big spoon, or sometimes you would wake up with his hair all over your face depending on the weather😽

He would definitely wake up around 7 or 8 so he would have time to make you your favorite breakfast (love the kid) and take it to bed (love x2)

When you wake up he would give you a kiss on the mouth and kisses all over your face then would hug you and then you get up and prepare for a tiring day

It depends on the day if you have to do the shopping or stay at home with a very softie Brian

Option 1 (You stay at home with Brian 💗)

After breakfast they would both go to bathe at the same time but don't think ugly things, Brian would be very respectful and would not do anything to you while they bathe unless you ask (ojoporojo 👀)

After bathing and drying off you would put his creams to the hair (I don't know why but I imagine that Brian puts cream in his hair to make it look nice) and if you use some cream for your short hair (if you have short hair obviously) then he would put it on you

Then they would both start cleaning the house while listening to the Beatles, then they would both be very tired and would throw themselves on the sofa to put on a movie and go to sleep again (but only a 30-minute nap).

When they wake up, it will probably be time for a snack (here where I live, snacks are just for a coffee and bread) like the old money that Brian is, he would take you to Starbucks for a snack, and then they would go to a shopping center to buy things and pamper yourself

They would leave around 6 and then go home. In this case, you make dinner and you're kind of in the kitchen, so you'd do your best, but whatever Brian wants, he'll eat whatever you make. For him, that would be the most delicious in the world (Even though he was pooped)

After that they would both get ready to sleep (because I feel that Brian is a man who goes to sleep at 9 😨) They would put on their shared teddy pajamas and go to sleep

-B: Good night my love～

-M/n: Good night Bri ♡

Option 2 (Brian goes with the boys and you stay at home) ❤️

First, if it's cold, you would put Brian's knitted scarf for you (what a nice gesture) and then you would say goodbye to him with a soft kiss and then go back inside and fall asleep for another little while

After waking up you would get ready to do the monthly shopping, grab a lot of fruit and of course a lot of grapefruit (I saw that May's favorite fruit was grapefruit so) you would pay and immediately go home because of the great cold of London

After putting everything away, you would go to the boys to listen to their practices and gossip a bit with Freddie, who annoyed you by saying that you are more Gay than himself, since you and Brian cannot spend a minute without hugging or kissing.

It should be clarified that Brian was never afraid of success and made his relationship public, which most of his fans took well and the others (those who took it badly) go to hell ♡

After you finish their practices and your ears are blessed by their songs, you would hug everyone goodbye and go home with Brian.

Then they would do the whole routine of bathing and putting on a cream and now if they go to sleep

I hope you liked my first publication, just to clarify that English is not my first language and I do fanfics in Spanish but I modify it in the google translator lol, in fact what I am writing I am also translating anyway make requests beautiful people (please) 💖😿

[iloveasunflower]

Roland's Tour Diary: 7th May

via

text version:

Saturday, May 7, 2005

Well, another intense period is finally over for TFF, I can stop obsessing about my voice and leave the calorific honey and lemon to one side for a while. I feel we left London on a high, even if some of the reviews have made out otherwise. The mind boggles as to how people read body language – Curt and I are getting on famously – if we weren’t, you’d soon hear about it and I could indulge in some fantastic bitching during this tour diary – but no – live, we are a band and have no desire to ‘Wham’ it up with fake buddiness.

I’ve read some of the comments posted and can’t say I disagree with even the more negative ones. We were caught slightly off-guard by the lack of awareness of ELAHE in the UK, and I think Glasgow was the peak of a mutual ignorance, with us clumsily dividing the set into old and new. It wasn’t until Newcastle that we remedied the situation – and boy, what an audience! Shades of New York!

I also think we have too much of the new album in the set. Admittedly, the touring was designed to get the point across, but I do think we could make a better show, if we increased the repertoire and started to replace some of the newer songs – more upbeat tunes would work in our favor, and as we are hitting the US in the summer, it might well be time for a change. (Points taken about RATKOS – however, bear it in mind, we do three songs from ‘Big Chair’ – ‘Listen’ would be impossible and ‘The Working Hour’ requires a saxophone – any offers? ‘I Believe’ – maybe. )

Cardiff was as close to a home gig as we could get, with a couple of busloads crossing the Severn Bridge from Bath and Bristol. The atmosphere was very casual and relaxed, and the gathering in the green room, after the show, did resemble a wedding. One great thing about being a ‘seasoned professional’ is you learn to take things like playing in front of friends, family and neighbors in your stride – you just imagine you’re throwing a big party!

Points also taken about the dance remixes that are accompanying the UK single releases, although I would say I have a fondness for the ‘Call Me Mellow’ ones. I guess like Tony Blair it’s time to listen to the electorate and start working on some obscure beauty in the form of B-sides, that would titillate the fans, and keep us interested. I’m also touched by some of your comments about RATKOS – I believe that album must have sold by word of mouth, as it didn’t receive much attention at the time. Over 700,000 copies now sold (unless I’ve been misinformed – can’t be that many hardcore fans) – not bad considering.

It’s off to Paris on Sunday for more delightful press and promotion – things, however, have gone our way there with the CTTH video getting a nice bit of airtime. As you are probably aware, we are playing a show in the French capital on June 18 (with Moby and Garbage), and the record company has certainly filled up our days over the coming week. I can’t wait for the late, late night chat shows with some poor sod trying to translate our perverse asides!

Anyways, thanks for all the interesting posts and glad that at least some of you enjoyed our UK adventure. Now is the time to put in your requests for live songs as Big Brother will be watching very intently over the next week ;)

Roland

[bondshotel]

September 15, 2008 - Richard Wright / Rick Wright (b. July 28, 1943) died at home, of an undisclosed form of cancer, aged 65.

Wright was a pianist and keyboardist; he grew up in Hatch End, North London and is best known for his long career with Pink Floyd. Although he wasn't really credited as a singer, he frequently sang background and occasionally lead vocals onstage and in the studio with Pink Floyd most notably on "Time", "Echoes", "Matilda Mother", and "Astronomy Domine", as well as notable harmonies on"Chapter 24" and "The Scarecrow". Examples of his early compositions include "Remember a Day", "See-Saw", "Paint Box" and "It Would Be So Nice". He also wrote significant parts of the music for classic albums such as Meddle, The Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here, as well as for Pink Floyd's final studio album The Division Bell. His instrumental compositions include "Cirrus Minor", "Interstellar Overdrive", "A Saucerful of Secrets", "Careful with That Axe, Eugene", "One of These Days" and to musical themes for film scores.

Bandmate David Gilmour said:

“No one can replace Richard Wright. He was my musical partner and my friend. In the welter of arguments about who or what was Pink Floyd, Rick's enormous input was frequently forgotten. He was gentle, unassuming and private but his soulful voice and playing were vital, magical components of our most recognised Pink Floyd sound. I have never played with anyone quite like him. The blend of his and my voices and our musical telepathy reached their first major flowering in 1971 on 'Echoes'. In my view all the greatest PF moments are the ones where he is in full flow. After all, without 'Us and Them' and 'The Great Gig in the Sky', both of which he wrote, what would 'The Dark Side of the Moon' have been? Without his quiet touch the album 'Wish You Were Here' would not quite have worked. In our middle years, for many reasons he lost his way for a while, but in the early Nineties, with 'The Division Bell', his vitality, spark and humour returned to him and then the audience reaction to his appearances on my tour in 2006 was hugely uplifting and it's a mark of his modesty that those standing ovations came as a huge surprise to him (though not to the rest of us). Like Rick, I don't find it easy to express my feelings in words, but I loved him and will miss him enormously.”

Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason told Entertainment Weekly:

“Like any band, you can never quite quantify who does what. But Pink Floyd wouldn’t have been Pink Floyd if [we] hadn't had Rick. I think there’s a feeling now – particularly after all the warfare that went on with Roger and David trying to make clear what their contribution was – that perhaps Rick rather got pushed into the background. Because the sound of Pink Floyd is more than the guitar, bass, and drum thing. Rick was the sound that knitted it all together... He was by far the quietest of the band, right from day one. And, I think, probably harder to get to know than the rest of us... It's almost that George Harrison thing. You sort of forget that they did a lot more than perhaps they’re given credit for.”

Former bandmate Roger Waters' website was replaced with a photograph of an array of candles and poppies against a black background; one of the screen images used for the song "Wish You Were Here" in his "Dark Side of the Moon Live" Tour.

Waters issued a statement:

“I was very sad to hear of Rick's premature death, I knew he had been ill, but the end came suddenly and shockingly. My thoughts are with his family, particularly [his children] Jamie and Gala and their mum Juliet, who I knew very well in the old days, and always liked very much and greatly admired. As for the man and his work, it is hard to overstate the importance of his musical voice in the Pink Floyd of the '60s and '70s. The intriguing, jazz influenced, modulations and voicings so familiar in 'Us and Them' and 'Great Gig in the Sky,' which lent those compositions both their extraordinary humanity and their majesty, are omnipresent in all the collaborative work the four of us did in those times. Rick's ear for harmonic progression was our bedrock. I am very grateful for the opportunity that Live 8 afforded me to engage with him and David [Gilmour] and Nick [Mason] that one last time. I wish there had been more.

[dreamyfanfix]

Chapter 3: Unsettling

Previously on the Bachelor. The contestants were separated into two teams of eleven and had to put on a play. Things got heated with group A as Claudia and Maria got came to blows. [insert clip of Claudia and Maria fighting over who should be the lead of their play. The group voted for Maria after her plea of having stage experience as a singer]. In the end, it was Maria's inability to remember lines that lasted longer than 3 minutes that gave group B their edge (with Anthony's brother Benedict here to judge) and it was group B that won the outing with The Bachelor, Anthony [insert clip of group B being announced the winners and some members of group A, Claudia and Rachel, complaining about Maria]

Today, the winners of the last episode will have a nice fun time at a salsa dancing class where each of them will get a chance to dance with Anthony but this class is more than education and whoever Anthony feels he has the best dance chemistry with will be the winner of the first one-on-one date of the season. The stakes are high but remember the first one-on-one date could set the tone for the season and the aforementioned winner could get a rose before the ceremony at the end of the day [insert Anthony talking to a mysterious lady about how much chemistry he is feeling]

Just remember dears, Lady Whistledown will be watching.

--

"Daphne, what the fuck are you doing here?" Anthony said immediately after shutting the door to his room.

"I just wanted to see you," she said sheepishly.

"Okay you have seen me now get out of here before anyone gets a long look at you and see that you are pregnant," Anthony gesticulates towards the door.

Daphne sniffles and then starts crying "I'm sorry, I just didn't know who else to talk to,"

Anthony immediately feels bad and embraces his sister while directing her to sit down on his soft couch. "Daf what's wrong? Is it Simon?"

Daphne sniffed "Yes and no. These pregnancy hormones are doing a number on me but it's about you,"

"What about me?"

"I know why you are doing this and I feel bad-" he tried to interject but Daphne held her hand up "-please just let me finish," He nodded and Daphne continued "I know you are doing this so no one finds about me and Simon and I feel bad. You never liked having public relationships and now you are dating multiple women on national television and it's all my fault," 

Anthony took a deep breath. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't known what to say to his sister or his family about this situation for months. "I'll handle it," was kind of his motto at this point.

When Daphne and Simon had shown up on his London doorstep 5 months ago having eloped, he was disappointed. Disappointed in his sister's choice of partner but also that Daphne had forgone all of the things that she had always wanted as a little girl: the big wedding with all her family there and yeah it hurt that one of the few things that Anthony looked forward to as the family's pseudo father figure was the ability to walk his sister down the aisle and he missed that chance with Daphne. Despite it all, Anthony swallowed his disappointment and helped Daphne and Simon announce their situation to the rest of the family. Anthony usually sat at the head of the table so he had a clear view of everyone's reactions. His mother Violet Bridgerton looked at him first and then smiled at Daphne and Simon, taking her daughter's hand. Hyacinth and Gregory who hadn't quite learnt any tact yet asked about Fred and everyone looked at Daphne and Simon, while Anthony took another sip of his drink. It burnt his throat as it went down but he needed it.

Daphne thought she might have been helping the situation because even Eloise joined in on complaining about the suddenness of Daphne's nuptials. Daphne looked to Anthony for help but he shrugged his shoulders, he had warned her. Mostly he warned her that if she could not stand up to the scrutiny of the family when Daphne does eventually go public about her and Simon's relationship the scrutiny would be even more heavy. She then exclaimed, "I'm pregnant!" It silenced the table and Anthony had honestly never seen his family so shocked since Colin had run off a month ago to go chasing after a girl who did not want him. His mother stood up to congratulate Daphne in a hug which got Daphne to finally relax while the siblings all murmured congratulations while Fran, Hyacinth ad Greg spoke about who the favourite Aunt/Uncle was going to be.

Anthony thought it was over, at least for a while, until he got an appointment request from Charlotte Queen. Anthony was prepared to grovel for her forgiveness on behalf of his sister but instead of an angry executive, he got a cool and calm one. Which to be honest, was a lot scarier to him. Charlotte came as a courtesy to let Anthony know that she was going to be making her nephew the new Bachelor. At first, Anthony did not understand why that was news until he realised that that would mean people would be asking questions about why Daphne and Friederich did not work and whatever Fred said on the show could make or break Daphne's reputation. Friederich wasn't a bad guy but he was incredibly sincere and a bit naive, it made it hard for people not to be on his side. It could easily make Daphne look bad especially when news of her pregnancy got out. Anthony asked Charlotte if there was anything he could do to get Frederich out of the next season and Charlotte made it clear that she would someone of equal standing to take her nephew's place. Anthony knew what he had to do next. It was excruciating but after cancelling his meetings for the day and having meetings with all his solicitors and media people it became clear that this could do good things not just for Daphne but as a way to clean up his romantic image as well.

Later that week when Anthony announced that he was going to be the next Bachelor his news gave way to a very mixed reception. Ben and Colin went in on the teasing Hy and Greg were intrigued but it was Eloise who was able to figure out that Anthony had secret motives. That is when Anthony had to come clean about why he was doing it. Everyone understood and no one could offer up any other solutions so Violet then proceeded with the Sunday lunch and the family moved on to lighter topics.

After the lunch was over Anthony went outside to get some fresh, not to smoke a stress cigarette, and Simon came out to speak to him. It was stilted at first, in a lot of ways Anthony had lost one of his oldest and dearest friends to his sister and no one knew how he was feeling. Anthony had a line drawn in the sand for their relationship now: Simon was Daphne's husband and that was that. Things took a turn when Simon commented how this could be a good thing for Anthony and his philandering ways when Anthony lost it. He didn't know when he started but he knew that he was punching Simon relentlessly and Simon did not fight back, it only made him angrier. It was only when Ben came to pull Anthony off Simon did Anthony see the damage he had done. Every one of his siblings looked at him like he was something to be afraid of and Anthony did not stop to speak to any of them as he left Bridgerton House.

It had 4 months since the incident and everyone in the family had moved on. Everyone except Daphne, who he hadn't spoken to in months. He got information about how she was doing from their mother and his siblings but he realised that he could not speak to Daphne or Simon without getting angry and he did not want to be angry around his pregnant little sister.

"Daf I don't know what you want me to say," Anthony said softly.

"I want you to speak to Simon," Daphne said looking at him with those bright teary eyes.

"What would we speak about? I already apologised for the punches. It's done now,"

"Except it's not done. Simon was your best friend. The only other people you are close with are Benedict and Fife, and Fife is terrible and Ben is family,"

"Simon's family now too Daphne, that's what happens when you get married,"

"I know I just didn't think you would lose your friendship over this," she said softly

Anthony got up feeling agitated "Well, we did. He went from being my best friend to your husband that's how these things work,"

"He can still be your friend," Daphne pleaded.

"Except he can't Daf. Not the way he used to be. Simon was the person who I could go to outside of this family, whose loyalty was to me first. It was nice it was freeing at times but now he's your husband and that means his loyalty is to you first," Daphne looked like she wanted to interrupt but Anthony continued "And that's okay. I wouldn't want it any other way for you and my baby niece or nephew in there but it just means I have to keep things a little close to the chest a bit. It may not be this glamourized version of how you thought this was going to go when you married your brother's best friend but it is what it has to be. At least for now,"

Daphne sniffed some more and nodded her head "I wish I had done things differently,"

Before Anthony could answer her there was a knock on the dressing room door.

It took Anthony right out of his moment and he went to go answer it. It was Kate.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," Kate was so beautiful sometimes he needed a moment to adjust "Listen I don't have the time right now to speak,"

"Yeah, I didn't come to speak to you. Well, I did but not like that. Sophie and another line producer are coming to get you so that you can record your confessional for some of the contestants,"

Anthony nodded his head and went to close the door but he must have looked confused because Kate stopped the door from closing and said "I'm telling you this because few people know of your guest and the state she is currently in. We all sign NDA's but things get out. You might want her to put on a cap and leave through the back entrance,"

Anthony sighed and nodded "Thanks Kate,"

"No problem. You have 10 minutes," she said as she quickly walked away.

Anthony tried not to get too distracted by Kate's figure walking confidently and rushed to get a 6 months pregnant Daphne out of the studio lot.

--

Edwina was a nice girl. Nice being the operative word here. There was technically nothing wrong with her but as he got mic'ed up for their one-on-one date he could not help but feel like he made the wrong choice. Edwina was just one year younger than Daphne but she had already accomplished a lot, she was a principal dancer with the royal ballet, a dancing ability that helped a lot during today's salsa class, she had a degree in psychology and played the piano splendidly. These were all the things he needed reminding of going into this date because although no one could deny Edwina was a beauty, there was nothing distinct about her looks, bright wide eyes, soft delicate features and a smile that made you want to melt inside. It was usually his type but he could not help make the comparison between her and Kate. He did not know why but every time he saw Edwina he thought of Kate. Where Edwina was polite, Kate was cutting. Where Edwina was soft-spoken, Kate was direct and loud. Edwina was pretty, beautiful even but Kate was stunning. A strong beauty with strong features.

Anthony had to shake himself off from thinking about Kate. It was strange but also it made him uncomfortable that he looked at one Indian woman and saw another. Edwina and Kate may share similarities but it's not like he looked at Josie or Anika and saw Kate so why did Edwina remind him so much of Kate? Was he a racist? No way.

As the date with Edwina went on, they spoke about a few things. Anthony asked if she ever went horseriding and Edwina made a face "No not really. I'm not a big fan of horses. I like the small cute kind of animals that curl up in my lap,"

"The really cute ones like you," Anthony internally cringed at his comment but Edwina seemed to like it.

"Thank you. Tell me about you," Edwina prompted.

"What do you want to know?" He asked.

"What animals do you like? What books have you read? I want to know everything," she said sweetly.

"Everything huh? Well, I like cats and horses. My family owns a breed of horses," Anthony could feel that not only was he losing the interest of Edwina but the crew who seemed bored at the conversation unfolding. It was embarrassing, to say the least, he had never had his romantic charisma on display like this before "But if I had to be honest. The last thing I read was accounts and ledgers for my family company. I know it's incredibly boring,"

Edwina giggled "I don't think so. I love to read so I can keep you appraised about what the shelves are being stocked with for the both of us,"

Anthony chuckled a little bit and said "I'm glad, I always loved being read to. Especially by someone with a smooth voice like yours,"

Edwina visibly blushed and Anthony knew he had her hooked. He really was good at this. They spoke about family, Anthony told her to her shock that he had seven siblings and Edwina was nervous but said she did not have any siblings. Anthony figured her nervousness came from the thought of having seven members of his family she might have to impress.

--

After the end of his date with Edwina, Anthony was feeling invigorated. He liked her. Not as much as someone like Siena, Claudia or Maria but he did not want to give Siena a big head by showing his interest just yet. After recording his confessional, Anthony was able to spot Kate walking around on the grounds.

She was pacing staring at her phone and Anthony knew he should stay clear of her thinking about all the things he has been thinking about since he met her. The way she had already worked her way into his dreams. He convinced himself to go and speak to her by saying it was merely to thank her for the warning about Daphne earlier.

--

"...Yes, but she may be a bit over her head here. She is only doing this because of her grandparents and what they said," Kate said to Mary, her stepmother over the phone.

"Those people are vile Kate but Edwina can handle herself unless there is another reason why you think Edwina should not be in the running for one of England's most eligible Bachelors?" Mary asked with a sweeter tone

'Yeah, Edwina's gay mom' Kate thought but did not say, this was something Edwina was going to have to figure out on her own and she sure as hell was not going to be the one to out her sister.

Kate then heard someone behind her and saw Anthony heading her way. "Hey, Mom I gotta go. Send my love to Newton please,"

"Will do sweetie. I love you,"

"Love you too," As Kate ended the call Anthony had just reached her. Man, he smelled good. If she did not draw the short straw and had to rally footage for the girls in the house today then she would have been able to see his date with Edwina. She was nervous. Edwina was always good at putting on a show she just hopes that she didn't hurt anyone in the process.

"Who's Newton?" Anthony asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Why do you want to know?" she asked.

"Why did you answer my question with another question? Is he your boyfriend?" He asked.

Kate was surprised by his boldness then again he had a way of making her heart beat faster. "Would that be any of your business?"

"Maybe not but I feel like I have to know," Anthony said.

Was it just her or did his voice get deeper at the end of that sentence? Kate felt herself heating up and said "He's my dog. A small little corgi,"

Anthony said "A dog huh? Why am I still jealous?"

Kate tried not to be affected by his question but she always loved showing pictures of her little boy so she brought her phone out and asked "Do you want to see how cute he is and how no one stands a chance next to him?"

"Sure,"

Kate showed Anthony a picture of her and Edwina lying on the grass with Newton stretched over her legs. Anthony looked taken back and then pointed at the picture it was then that she realised that Edwina was in the picture "You know Edwina?"

"Yes, she's my little sister. I told you I was here for family reasons just like you," Kate said nervously because she knew she should not have shown him that picture but at the same time hoped that it might prompt him to expel her sooner.

"That's surprising,"

"Surprising? Come on we look alike a bit," Kate said self-consciously about the fact that people liked to make jokes about how Edwina was the pretty one and Kate was the smart one. It was condescending but also opened Edwina up to people who liked to take advantage of her because she might not be historically clever.

"I know you look alike. The minute I saw her I thought of you. It was weird I thought I was racist for a second," Anthony was rambling but Kate found it cute.

"Well, take this as a warning to treat her with kindness," Kate said poking him in the chest.

Anthony grabbed her finger that lingered on her chest and Kate's heart skipped a beat "And why aren't you concerned that she might be the one who would be the mean one?"

"Edwina is kind and sweet and one of the few pure things in this world," she said.

Anthony quirked his brow "Is that so?"

"It is," she said.

"Well, I promise to treat her with the exact amount of kindness she gives out," Anthony said as he dropped Kate's finger to her surprise and disappointment.

Anthony walked away even though wanted him to stay. For what? She doesn't know but Kate knew she had to get a grip quickly because Anthony was supposed to be finding love on this show and she cannot be one of those women who is known for sleeping with people on the job.

Later as Kate watched footage of Edwina's date with Anthony did she realise Anthony's confusion. Edwina did not claim her. To be fair they were only half-sisters and a lot of Western families do not claim siblings that were not full but that was not how she and Edwina were raised so even though it hurt she kept on and tried to find the best angle for Edwina to come out of this date.

[abroadchangedme69]

Four nights in Lyon.

I’m still behind but I’m catching up. I’m writing this in Porto and I’ve been to Avignon and Nice before this, but that’ll be in the next post.

I really enjoyed Lyon, and it was nice to spend a bit more time in one place. The city is beautiful but I don’t understand what it is about being French that makes a person unable to pick up after their dogs. It’s really striking, there’s just dog shit on the sidewalks everywhere. But I had a nice slow-paced stay, though I wasn’t able to rest as much as I would’ve liked due to the inhuman snoring by my bunkmate. The noises and the volume at which he made them were truly concerning. Sounded like a duck was choking to death in the bed next to mine. Most of the time when a person snores it’s on and off during the night, but this man snored all the way through the night. And he slept like 12 hours a night. First in bed and last to leave. He actually almost never left the room. He also smelled disgusting so we chose to open the windows and sleep in the cold with the mosquitoes. I’d rather be eaten alive by mosquitoes (and I was) than sit in that stench. I try to be tolerant and compassionate but -without speaking a word to me- this man tested me. I haven’t felt contempt for a person like I did in that dorm room, sleep-deprived, being wrestled back into consciousness as soon as I’d manage to slip out of it by that man’s violent snoring.

While Lyon did not prove to be the relaxing experience I had hoped for, there’s nothing like a common enemy to bring people together. I was pretty much instantly friends with the other roommates. Hell of an icebreaker.

I met a 23-year-old German named Carl who just graduated college and plans to keep studying law. We went out for drinks. He falls into a category in which I would include Jonathan (the Swede from Faro) and a few other friends I’ve made over the years. Mature, thoughtful, cultured, intelligent, humble. We had some really enjoyable conversations about a wide range of topics. One moment that stuck out to me was when we were talking about travel, and people that travel. We both agree that traveling isn’t a personality trait, though some people you meet might make it seem otherwise. You don’t become a new person by traveling, you’re just the same person in different circumstances. Traveling does give perspective though which is important for self-understanding, and that can lead to growth. But it’s not automatic.

I spent the next evening with Thinh, a 29-year-old Vietnamese-Polish cook (formerly a digital marketer) and Charlotte, a 22-year-old gemologist. I had fun hanging out with them. While we were at a bar after I’d had a couple drinks I got on the topic of ants (shocking). I think I started by talking about how I used to dissect ant brains, then I moved on to what makes ants such an effective animal. I brought up game theory to try to illustrate my point, and I even ended up drawing the prisoner’s dilemma matrix on scrap paper. I have no idea if I got my point across effectively but Charlotte was very complimentary of my passion so I’ll take it. I also asked Charlotte for her initial impression of me and she said introverted and “adorable.”

On my final night I went to dinner with Thinh. I really don’t enjoy going to restaurants alone nearly as much as I do with company. Especially when the person I’m with is a cook that can speak the local language. Thinh quit a comfortable desk job in London to become a cook with very little experience, which is something I respect. But I’ve gotten used to being around people like that. When someone else me that they quit their job, sold all of their belongings and decided to live a nomadic lifestyle, that’s not out of the ordinary to me in the slightest. I’ve met so many people with a similar story. It’s odd to think about. Before I left, lots of people told me how they’d be afraid to do what I’m doing or that I’m somehow “brave.” I don’t think about it that way, it’s more that I got bored out of my mind and needed to break the cycle. That’s very much been the norm among the people I’ve met on this trip.

Later that night a pair of 18-year-old Canadian girls named Rosie and Octavia invited me to get ice cream with them. I’d met them earlier that day while I was doing laundry. All the ice cream places were closed so we ended up just walking around Lyon for an hour and a half. They were a funny duo. I enjoy seeing when friends develop a sense of humor between them. Most of it was them excitedly telling me stories about their travels while I’d inject dry humor into the conversation.

So yeah, that was Lyon.

[paullovescomics]

The Fragile Threads of Power

SPOILERS

Back around 2017, I started to read the first trilogy in this series. I read it fairly quickly, and got into the unusual set up of alternate Earths linked by each having some version of London and the Thames. Delilah Bard was my favorite character, with Kell and his magic multiform dream coat a fairly close second. Holland was an intriguing adversary with nicely complicated motivations and backstory. There are times when the alternate Londons thing doesn't quite gel with me, but it's not a stumbling block. Overall, I liked the original trilogy quite a bit.

So I was excited when the series came back. We get a very cool new character, Tes, who can see the threads of magical power that run through her world, and manipulate them directly. This is very rare. Most of the magic users in these worlds can work with one element. A small minority can use two. A tiny number can access all of the elements. Only one other character we've met can even see the threads, much less bend and bind and twine them together like Tes can. And she has a weird pet. There's also a pair of bad guys who reluctantly have to work together, who are fun when they're not terrifying. Lilah is living her best pirate life. Kell is having a hard time, but sometimes a character has to go through one of those arcs.

Then our focus turns to the royals. Lilah and Kell were very involved with them in the first trilogy. The king does not have any magical ability (unusual for Red London), which makes some of his subjects so uneasy that they have formed an underground revolutionary movement to kill and replace him. Alucard, who serves as the king's advisor, bodyguard, and consort is doing his best to protect the king and track down the rebels. It's difficult because they are strongly motivated, and have an effective cell structure. I do like the new queen, Nadiya. I don't totally trust her, but in a way that makes her more interesting.* However, king Rhy and Alucard aren't very interesting to me, and when you've got a rebellion against a monarchy, I'm just not gonna be rooting hard the royals, even if they are part of the main cast. It's not like the rebels here want to set up a democracy, but the nobility fighting over the throne, as compelling as it sometimes is in fiction and history, still counts as rich people problems. Worse, the kind of rich people problems that get lots of regular people killed.

*(It also just struck me that the queen fits a pattern of women in this series who have a strong vocation. Lilah starts off as an accomplished thief, and grows more powerful and versatile from there. Tes has her own business and loves her work. Maris runs the most awesome magic shop ever. Now we have a queen who spends most of her time crafting new magical items. This is cool.)

We also spend a lot of time with Kosika, the new queen of White London. She is actually interesting for reasons I won't go into now (this is ramble-y enough as it is). My point is, I like Lilah and Tes much more than the royals, and I was keen to see some pirate adventures, not court intrigue. So, I lost interest and set the book aside for a while. A few weeks? I don't remember exactly. But I decided that I'd finish the book, and skip the rest of this new trilogy.

However, when I got back to it, the focus of the latter half of the book was more to my liking, as Lilah and Kell get involved in defending the king, and Kosika's story gets more intriguing as it goes. There are some cool magical fights. All that means I probably will read the rest of this trilogy, but I'm in no big hurry. (Especially considering the size of my TBR pile.) I wonder if part two will be around when B&N have that hardcover sale after Christmas?