#it was her realization that their relationship has been deteriorating for a while now and coming to terms with that in 3 days

[chirpsythismorning]

📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

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[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Mutual request for this hc with Lilia and Riddle. Babytrap, Malleus + Leona being infertile. @yasminzys hope you like it!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, Infertility and talk about pregnancy/children, killing, kidnapping and cheating.

Lilia has lived a long time, seen a lot, so when you try again and again to conceive a baby and nothing works, he knows. He knows that there is a possibility that you or he, or both, are infertile, so Lilia shares his suspicions with you and together you go to the doctor to have these suspicions confirmed.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He raised Malleus and Silver, he had the full experience of being a father twice in a row and he wanted you to have the same experience, he wanted your love to be able to conceive a child, but this it is not possible because he is infertile. He is infertile and even for someone as old as he is, this news is still a surprise and not a good one.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Depending on the underlying cause of the problem, his infertility can be treated, so Lilia prefers to undergo treatment. For you and the thought of having a little bat with you. But… No matter how much time passes, your relationship begins to deteriorate with nothing being able to restore that beautiful feeling. And he knows that it doesn't matter if he brings you flowers or if he brings you chocolates, you won't feel what you felt before. A dream was stolen from you and all he can do is be sorry.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Which doesn't mean he can understand how you had the courage to send letters to another man while all this time you've been dodging his kisses and hugs. He has seen a lot of betrayal in his long life, especially allies betraying each other in war, perhaps even he was betrayed once, but without a doubt your betrayal is the only one that was able to pierce his heart so deeply.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Your poor lover? Dead. Your destiny? A cabin in an enchanted forest to never let you get away. And his heart? Trying to patch himself up as he hugs your struggling figure. Adultery once was punishable with death so you're very lucky that he loves you very much.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Honestly, I believe that Riddle doesn't really want to be a father, not while his mother's words and actions are still so present in his mind and haunt him often. If he tried to get you pregnant before it was only because, once again, he decided to listen to her and because he realized that you wanted it too so he didn't want to deny you the experience.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ 'Eventually,' he tells himself after all the times you have sex. 'it will eventually work out.'

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But no matter how hard you try, it doesn't work. The child you want so much is never conceived, so the only plausible explanation is the one most terrible for you; one of you is infertile. Riddle is quick to assuage your fears and offer comfort as you go to the doctor to share your concerns. Tests are done, the results announced as an omen of death.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Riddle is the infertile one, the cause of your deep sadness and the destroyer of your dreams of having a family. He can see it all in your eyes as tears fall from them and you force yourself to tell him it's okay. He knows what a lie looks like, he knows because living with his mother taught him to lie. And you're doing it now and he can't blame you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ If a treatment option is viable, he wants to try it. If there is nothing that can be done then he will discuss with you the option of adopting a child. Riddle closes his eyes to every letter you write, to every correspondence exchanged, he hopes that his words and actions reach your heart and that you don't love him less for it since it's something he has no control over, nonetheless, your love waned. And there's another man on your mind now. Another man he chases away.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He's not someone who gets his own hands dirty, but you force him to. You forces him to kill the other man and he forces you to watch every single thing he does. And then he takes you back home because you're a happy family and family stays together whether you want it or not.

[radiant-reid]

Heyyyy cate! Could you do a blurt or Oneshot on Spencer with his teenage daughter who maybe doesn’t seem to like his new girlfriend at all but really she’s just really scare of her dad’s attention shifting ? She could do rebellious stuff to gain it back and he would take a while to really get what was going on? 🥺

omg yes i live for this type of angst. also, i'm considering a series with single dad spence, what do we think ?? i don't have a plot or anything lmao

There's nothing Phoebe loves more than her dad, and there's nothing Spencer loves more than his daughter. You knew that getting into a relationship with him.

He raised it early before your third date during the month you were only communicating by text. Now, you can't think of anything worse than going that long without talking to him.

You've been an increasingly permanent fixture in his life and, therefore, Phoebe's, especially after Spencer got released from prison. He needed an adult to talk to, not his fifteen-year-old daughter, and you were happy to be that for him.

Things would have been good, perfect even, hopefully, with you integrating even more into their lives, but your relationship with Phoebe was rocky.

She must have struggled with her dad in prison, having to stay with Aunt Penelope for three months while she had no idea what would happen to their family.

It's only deteriorated since you started sleeping over. It's like whenever you're around, she refuses to come out of her room, and it's more hatred for you than it is teenage angst.

That night, Spencer calls, asking you to come over. When you get there, he looks furious mixed with worried, but the furious is taking over.

You run through a list of things that might have happened during the day to have made him so mad. Maybe a problem with his reinstatement, although it's been fine for months, or a problem with a higher-up putting pressure on the team.

"Hey, hey, what's up?" You ask, shutting the door behind you and slipping your shoes off.

He nods to the study, walking in wordlessly as you follow. It's even more concerning that he won't say anything until the heavy wooden door has closed.

"So not only has Phoebe been skipping school to go to the mall, she has been stealing." He rants to you, pacing angrily. "Stealing! My daughter, who I raised to be a morally good person has been caught stealing."

Your eyes widen as your mouth drops open. It's pretty unbelievable. Although she hates you, Phoebe's a good kid. She's got too much of Spencer in her to be anything but. He's more hotheaded than he used to be, and he's not seeing it from any other perspective than how morally wrong it was.

"Alright, okay." You say, grabbing his hands and steering him to sit on the leather sofa. "Just breathe for a minute."

He tries, but it doesn't stop his eyes from darkening. "I need to be thinking about how I can punish her."

You shake your head softly. "You can't right now."

He looks at you like you're dumb, but you know he doesn't mean it. "You can't seriously be defending this."

You shake your head again. "I'm not, Spence. I promise. But this is a cry for help." He's still not understanding it, so you put it in terms she'll understand. "Behaviorally, what does it say if someone's shoplifting?"

"It's a reaction to a loss, to fill a void real or perceived." He lists off the common parts of the profile before it clicks in his head. "Oh."

"Yeah." You nod. "This is a call for help, Spencer. She's struggling with something, and I'm guessing it's a mix of me and what happened to you."

His eyes cloud over with tears then, his whole face softening. It's his baby, who he's been raising since he was fresh out of college, and she's begging for help, even if she doesn't know it.

Then he feels terrible because what type of a dad is he to not realize she's having such a rough time? And because of his decisions?

You can tell, too. "Spencer, stop." You insist. "You're not a bad dad."

"How did I not know?" He asks, holding his head in his hands.

"Because she's a teenager who hides her feelings from her dad." You joke, earning a slight chuckle from him, his beautiful smile gracing his face once again. "So I'm going to go so you can talk to her."

He shakes his head, squeezing your hand. "No, don't go." He begs. "Her problem is not with you."

"It is." You assure him. "I've started coming around more, and it's a big change. You don't like change, and I bet she doesn't either."

That makes him smile lightly. They are similar in a lot of ways, and that means the better and worse traits. "Can you wait here?" He asks.

Hesitantly, you concede. "I'll be in your bedroom." You say before winking at him as he gets up. "Go do good dad stuff."

Spencer flashes you one last smile before leaving you alone in the study so you can retreat to his room. He's worried when he walks up the stairs. There's been a lot of moments as a dad that he hasn't been able to prepare for, but this feels like the biggest of them all.

Gently, he knocks on her door. "Hey, sweet girl, can I come in?" He asks.

"Not your sweet girl." She answers, although she doesn't tell him not to come in so he pushes the door open.

It's clear she's been crying. Her new heavy eyeliner look makes that obvious. "You'll always be my sweet girl." He tells her, sitting on her desk chair.

"So what's my punishment?" She asks. "No phone, no iPad, no wifi? I bet you'll get Aunt Penelope to block it all, too."

Spencer shakes his head. "Nothing like that, Phoebs. I just want to talk."

"About what?" She asks in return.

"What's bothering you." He answers. "You're a good girl, and you know that was wrong. You're too smart for me to tell you that."

Phoebe shakes her head. "I'm not smart."

"You are." He assures her. "So, what's going on?" When he doesn't get an answer, he guesses. "Y/n?"

"I- She's so nice." Phoebe starts, articulating her feelings much better than Spencer ever could. "And I've been mean to her. It's just- she's here a lot, and I'm not used to having..." She trails off, playing with her fingers in her lap. "Someone around like that."

He can guess what she's thinking easily. "Someone I'm romantically interested in."

"My aunts and uncles aren't here all the time, but I feel like she's here to stay." She explains.

Spencer nods. "That's a decision we make together, but yes, I want that."

"I do, too," Phoebe says. "She's nice, and she likes you."

"She likes you, too," Spencer reminds her, taking her hand. "But you'll always be my number one, sweet girl." She smiles at him, standing up and walking over to hug him. He pulls her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you, too, and I'm really sorry." She replies.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Say, recall that post on how Season1 to 3 could be done with the revised Butterfly? I realize one could get the same general plot beats out of season 4 with it & the 12 Kwami too... Well kinda.

Here's how I'd do it if I had to stick to some things bit not others XD

Season 3: As before, Kim was Tiger King & Chat Blanc was more like a prophecy. Also Gabriel steals the Miraculous that weren't being used, Mouse & Peacock.

Miracle Queen is slightly altered to show more sympathy for Chloe, either with her being an Akuma kid, so Gabriel forcibly Akumtizes her, or showing how unstable her head-space is.

Rather than declaring for Hawk Moth, Chloe just tries to run but its seen as an admission of guilt by the heroes who don't ear her out.

Season 4: Marinette & Adrien's whole arc is grappling with issues of trust, forgiveness, looking back and realizing mistakes sometimes in time other times too late & the increasingly crushing weight of their duties. Overall mostly the same-ish, the differences come from the villains and can be broken into 4 quarters.

Quarter 1: Truth & Lies is one episode, Gabriel has been subtly negging Kagami & having Lila through one means or another stoke paranoia in Luka. He uses Mullo to duplicate his Akuma & transforms them both at the same time, as well as giving them Familiars. He uses the Peaock to transmute their physical forms to make them more dangerous or hard to hit.

This nearly wins him the day, Marinette has to pull on most reserve heroes & uses a combo of Multi-Mouse & Trixx to protect her identity, which coincides with her having to reveal her identity to Alya to get the job done. The big reason he loses is the Kwami didn't tell him that while adults can use the powers more than once, they can still be hurt overdoing it, so Gabriel collapses from the strain & is pissed.

Stuck on more subtle methods for the next quarter he persists in trying to low key undermine Kagami, Chloe, harass the other temp heroes & uses Lila as his on the ground scout. She's living alone in a new apartment now with her mother thinking she's at a fancy boarding school & she's clearly... struggling, but doubling down thinking she can somehow 'win'.

The other big shift if Chloe's head-space is less pro Hawk Moth and more bitter cynic about the heroes. Sabrina notes she thinks 'something' happened on Miracle Queen Day but Chloe can't/wont talk about it.

Sole Queen happens here with her trying to be a good big sister, IE:

"Dressing and acting this way is expected, this is how we avoid mothers wrath, don't fall for fathers sad dog act give him an inch & he takes a mile. Our classmates have no sympathy for people who aren't doormats & if you want to resist Hawk Moth you have to be strong!"

The pressure she puts on Zoe is a microcosm of the pressure she's under & Zoe snaps. Then gets accepted by the class which Chloe has mixed vibes on at best. Their relationship persists a little longer n that Adrien & Chloe "I want this to work but not on your terms" and Chloe's "I want this to work but I need more from you than you give."

Quarter 2: Alya has been helping Marinette cover her identity, serving as substitute Ladybug and the "new" fox.

Lila continues stalking & sabotage. Chloe's head space continues to deteriorate, while others like Kagami also show issues they get sufficient support that it doesn't break them.

Queen Bananas is actually a major episode two one scene. When the movie is being discussed in class, Chloe is absent. It cuts to Gabriel's Manor where a very frazzled Chloe is being given a manipulative spiel about how "This movie is for you, to finally say your piece and have people hear you."

When she leaves she sees a similarly frazzled Lila being shooed away, "You are not meant to come here in daylight" and the two hair a brief stare off before looking away and pretending they didn't see the other. Besides that, when Gabriel sabotages 'her' movie and gives it to the class in secret, Chloe's breakdown reaches peak.

This is also where she realizes Gabriel is Hawk Moth intensifying her lashing out at Adrien, "Were you in on this!? Of course you don't understand you never listen!" and as Queen Banana she is extra unhinged. Still, nefore she transformed she was shown scribbling "Gabriel = Hawk Moth" on her arm.

Quarter 3: Lila has been stalking Alya and while nothing is confirmed, (To Gabriel) he does know she's still in Ladybug's confidence. Cue all that noise.

Alya almost gives in, but doesn't solely cos she knows Marinette's identity. IE, she would have gone Miracle Queen for her family too, but she had more reason to trust Ladybug.

Despite the win, this is where Alya has to publicly quit being Ladybug's ally because she's endangering her family.

& worse? The fox is missing.

Lila has it, but Hawk Moth doesn't know.

At the end of this quarter Gabriel is back to using all three Miraculous baby!

Penal Team is the culmination of Chloe's anger at the heroes, isolation from support & rejection by others all manifesting in a massive:

"You want a monster, I'll give you a monster like you've never seen!"

This also breaks between Chloe & Sabrina; potentially on purpose. The battle is hard and hectic & Ladybug has to call on many heroes to win & they ultimately end up in a stalemate.

Chloe's anger is to uncontrolled to articulate anything beyond vagaries abut being left exposed, how she thinks Hawk Moth will win, s just trying to survive, ETC. When looked back on it makes a major point but in the moment it gets a:

"This is why you were never fit to be a hero!"

Which ends up leaving her so depressed, along with the stalemate that she forcibly kicks Hawk Moth out of her head and just... Quits.

Lila comes to recruit her at the end of it but Chloe is looking at the broken glasses and smirking, stopping Lila in her tracks by asking if she wants a jib.

Quarter 4: Adrien is still being sent on some kind of tour, or Felix has some kind of prank (Seemingly) planned for the event. Either way Marinette needs to get in to see him for sentimental reasons like passing on a gift from class or to stop the "Prank" (the whole thing with the rings)

She is surprised that Jean seemed leery to add her to the staff when Zoe used her Chloe impersonation though. As well as confused there's another "new staffer" Its Chloe in a bird mask. Yet a confident, swaggering Chloe is also attending the party, whaaaat?

Yeah its Lila using Glamour and make up to pass as Chloe.

Meanwhile Chloe breaks into Gabriel's office, finds the secret entryway and basically holds reveling the truth or Emilie's life hostage in a very. "Yes I'll go down but I will take you down with me" way. Forcing Gabriel to surrender the Peacock "He used it least so he's likely to give it up" and swear to leave her loved one's alone.

He bitterly does so before Akumatizing himself to try and get it back.

Lila gets a message telling her to leave & that Chloe will be leaving Paris that night if she wants to come. Lila is unsure caught between escape or finding a way to do more than 'run and hide', but either trust Ladybug enough to jus tell her this stuff. So she gets caught & Gabriel realizes she had the Fox but she loses it.

The episode ends on a disguised Chloe getting a hotel room in London, having used the transmutation power to make gold.

The big finale is basically built around a major scheme of Gabriel's.

Like canon in that respect but also him offering Lila a "Chance at redemption". Which comes with incredible danger!

She manages to play her part well, in part by figuring out Ladybug's identity and does actually steal all her Miraculous, including Tikki.

Buuuut she doesn't trust Gabriel and when he does indeed turn on her she manages to slip away with Tikki & maybe one other.

She returns it to Marinette & gives her a brief summary of, "Hawk Moth is Gabriel, he messed with out heads, betrayed us, and was always going to throw us away, & I don't know what to do anymore."

Exactly what state she's in when its all over, or if its even her who makes the delivery or a Kwami she gave the Miraculous too, or if she stays in Paris are all unclear. The underlying theme is she got dragged in too deep and taken advantage of by a adult manipulator. & that she didn't think anyone would believe her or care once she knew how bad it was. So rather than trying to get out (As Choe did) she tried to turn the game on him and uuh, it didn't pan out.

This episode would also likely involve Adrien also discovering the truth about Gabriel & basically needing to run like hell, but he can't contact Ladybug about it in time.

Season ends on Marinette & Adrien revealing their identities as they resolve to continue the fight.

Chloe is shown watching Hawk Moth's dramatic "I will soon win!" proclamation with Doosoo insinuating she'll be making a comeback in Season 5.

Not sure what would happen there, but yeah. that's a general idea anyway XD

let! Chloé! Go! Feral!

[daenysthedreamer101]

Daughter of Steel and Bronze ~ HOTD

Ch 9 - Child no more

HOTD x Targaryen!OC, Targaryen!OC x Harwin Strong (finally lol)

Warnings: Harwin is finally here! Daena indirectly shades Alicent, puberty, physical description of bodily changes, slight teen angst

HOTD masterlist

"In the year 112, on the last of spring, King Viserys I married his second wife, Alicent Hightower. It was a grand celebration with seven days of balls, feasts, and tourneys. Where the King and His Grace appeared happy, many more wore sour faces during the wedding. 

The King's daughter and niece, Princess Rhaenyra and Princess Daena were said to have been in extremely foul moods throughout the entire ordeal and barely conversed with the new Queen. Daena reportedly uttered no words that whole day instead glaring at Queen Alicent."  

(Fire & Blood, Being a History of the Targaryen Kings of Westeros, by Archmaester Gyldayn)

~

112 AC, King's Landing

Spring would soon end and Daena couldn't wait for it to finish. The last seven days of the spring season were reserved for the royal wedding - her uncle Viserys decided to marry Alicent Hightower.

Ever since the announcement, Rhaenyra's relationship with Alicent has deteriorated. Instead, she started spending more time with Daena; their bond healed and they only got closer. 

Daena also had new companions - her ladies-in-waiting, Joy and Hanna Strong. Over the course of a month, the Princess bonded with the twins and became fond of both sisters. 

She was currently in her room, standing on a small pedestal with her arms stretched out. The tailors and maids were taking measures for the dress she was to wear to the wedding. She was barely able to move or breathe, her entire body covered in materials, measuring tapes, and pins. 

"Ouch!" She exclaimed in pain as a pin pierced her side. Joy smiled apologetically. Daena sighed - she hated everything about this and all it represented. She hated that her uncle chose Alicent, she hated Ser Otto for being a scheming snake, and she hated Alicent for not being honest and going behind Nyra's back. "Are we done?" She asked, annoyance lacing her voice.

"Very soon, Princess. Just need to take a few more measurements and we'll be done." The chief tailor said. She wrapped a measuring tape around Daena's hips, then around her waist, and finally around her bust. 

"You have beautiful hips, Princess. I can tell you'll have no problem birthing children." The lady commented. Daena smiled awkwardly and thanked the woman. Ever since her body started maturing all she's been hearing was how easy birth would be for her because of her wide hips. She hoped all that would be correct.

They soon finished the session and now she was alone in her room, save for Joy and Hanna. She was in her chemise - it was simple, made of fine cotton and she could see her figure when she looked in the mirror. 

Her body was changing, she realized after some time - her hips were widening, her thighs grew bigger and her bosom also grew a bit. She was scared, scared of change and what it meant for her and her life. 

She must have been in deep thought because she didn't hear Joy calling for her. "Princess.." Joy called again. Daena blinked and shook her head. She turned around to see that her supper was brought in for her. 

"Oh...thank you ladies. Will you stay with me and keep me company?"

"But of course, Princess." the sisters responded and sat down.

The three girls talked and after a while the twins left, leaving Daena alone. She unbraided her hair absentmindedly. She crawled into her bed, covered herself, and quickly fell asleep. 

The day has finally arrived - the royal wedding of King Viserys and Alicent Hightower would take place in the Sept a little before midday. 

The two princesses were getting ready together in Nyra's chambers. Rhaenyra wore a long-sleeved, yellow dress with golden embroidery. Her silver hair was beautifully braided and decorated with pearls, and she had a golden headpiece on top of her head. Around her neck was a choker made of black velvet decorated with golden strings. She wore golden wing-shaped earrings. 

Daena was dressed in a gorgeous pale blue, short-sleeved dress with flowers decorating her waist. Hanna and Joy masterfully did her hair. On her ears, she wore earrings of pearl and blue gemstones, and around her neck was a silver moonstone necklace. On top of her head was a beautiful headpiece covered in pearls that once belonged to her late aunt, Queen Aemma. 

"Are we ready, my Princess?" Hanna asked. Daena nodded and joined hands with Nyra. If they were going to suffer, they would suffer together. 

Once they exited the castle and entered the courtyard, Daena could see many coaches and carriages, and around all of them were many flags and banners representing many different Houses that came to the wedding. One banner caught her attention - a red castle on a white field within a red embattled border - House Redfort. 

Daena furrowed her pale brows. That couldn't be possible. She would've written a letter, surely. She excused herself for a moment and walked toward the man holding the banner. He was a young man, maybe a couple of years older than her.

"Excuse me. Is Lady Rowena here?" She inquired politely. The man seemed surprised by her approach and realized who she was. 

"Princess Daena...Yes, she's here." He said and opened the door of the carriage. The person who came out was someone Daena hadn't seen in years.

"...Grandmother?" 

The woman smiled at Daena and pulled her into a tight, rib-crushing hug. She wore a beautiful lilac gown with flower embroidery across the chest and waist. Her dark brown hair was pulled up and held by a hair net.

Daena was speechless. She hadn't seen her grandmother since she left the Vale when she was 12, and now here she was right in front of her. 

"But...but you didn't tell me you were coming." Daena managed to say. Her grandmother just chuckled and caressed her cheek. 

"Oh, my sweet child. I wanted to surprise you! Besides, how often do you get to attend a royal wedding?" 

Daena didn't say anything - she was too happy to think of a response. She loved her grandmother or nanna as she sometimes called her when she was younger. Lady Rowena was a beautiful woman in her youth. She was now in her late forties and much of her beauty remained. 

~

Daena was seated at the high table with the rest of her family. In the middle were the newlyweds - left of Uncle Viserys was Rhaenyra and next to her was Daena. To Alicent's right was her father, Ser Otto, and the rest of the Hightowers whom Daena paid no mind.

Thankfully, there was no one seated to Daena's left. She looked around the Throne room - Hanna and Joy were seated across from their father, Lord Lyonel. Next to Lord Lyonel was his eldest son and heir, Ser Harwin 'Breakbones'. 

Daena has heard many stories about him, thanks to his sisters being her handmaids. They did tell her about his strength and his skill as a warrior. What they didn't tell her was just how handsome he was - he was tall with broad shoulders and long dark curls, and from what she could see he had beautiful blue eyes.

She was pulled from her thoughts by Nyra poking her in the ribs. She turned her head and saw Nyra smirking at her. 

"What?" Daena whisper-shouted. 

"Eying up Ser Harwin, I see. I understand, he is quite handsome." Nyra whispered cheekily.

Daena scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I am not eying him up! I was just...observing."

"Right....keep telling yourself that," Nyra responded and took a sip of her wine.

Daena slapped Nyra's thigh below the table which made the latter giggle. Daena smiled and shook her head and once she did she locked eyes with the man she's been eying all night.

Ser Harwin was looking straight at her and she quickly averted her gaze. She was blushing, her usually fair cheeks now had a pink tint to them. She could feel the way her heart quickened when he looked at her, and she liked it.

~

Many people took notice of Princess Daena's choice of dress. She wore a pale blue dress and was covered in silver, pearls, and moonstones, drawing connections to the late Queen Aemma Arryn. Many would later say the Princess did it to slight the new Queen, but when asked Daena defended herself by saying she just liked the color. 

After gods knows how much time, Daena and Rhaenyra were free to leave the feast. They discreetly left the Throne room and started running once they were out of sight. They ran and ran until they found themselves in the godswood. 

There, they sat under the weirwood, not caring about getting their gowns dirty. The moon was full and the skies were clear, making all the stars visible. Daena could see Nyra was in deep thought while looking up at the moon. 

"Every night, I look out of my window and look at the moon. When I look at it, I think of Mother. I like to think she's somewhere up there in the heavens and she looks over me through the clouds...I know it's foolish." Nyra opened up after a while.

Daena turned and grabbed her cousin's hand. "I don't think it's foolish. I too think of her and I miss her dearly. The Red Keep will never know such warmth ever again." 

Nyra gave her a watery smile and squeezed Daena's hand. Daena wrapped her arm around Nyra and pulled her closer. Nyra placed her head on Daena's shoulder and sighed. "Nothing will ever be the same." 

"No. No, it won't. But we will go through it together." Daena responded as both girls looked at the full moon, reminiscing about the late Queen. 

113 AC, King's Landing

One year has passed since His Grace married Lady Alicent. They had a son, Aegon, who was soon to celebrate his first name day. But Daena didn't care about that - today was Rhaenyra's 16th name day, which meant she was now considered a woman grown and of marriable age.

Despite all the pomp and celebration surrounding her name day, Daena knew Nyra was far from happy. She knew it was something Nyra dreaded because it meant His Grace had every right to marry her off and send her away to squeeze out children until it killed her. 

Daena looked into the mirror with a pleased smile - she was wearing a bright red gown with long cape sleeves. The waist of the dress was decorated with rubies and diamonds. She loved the gown - it was long and flowy, perfectly accentuating her body. In the years to come, she would come to embrace this style of dress and would be known for it. 

She twirled in front of the mirror, enjoying the way the fabric moved and swished. Her curls fell freely down her back like a river of silver and gold. Only the front curls were pulled back to clear her beautiful face. 

She wore golden, square-cut ruby earrings on her ears, and around her neck was the heart-shaped pendant her father gifted her years ago. Satisfied with her appearance, Daena walked over to her writing desk and opened up a drawer.

Inside was a small box with her gift intended for Rhaenyra. She opened it to check if it was still there. It was. She closed the box and with a smile left her room to search for her cousin. 

~

Ser Harwin was walking through the Red Keep, tasked with finding Princess Daena. Usually, she would be with his sisters, seeing as they were her handmaids, but today was different. Apparently, she sent Joy and Hanna to help Princess Rhaenyra ready herself for her name day celebrations. 

This left Princess Daena unsupervised. His father, Lord Lyonel, saw how stressed His Grace was regarding the whole event, and decided to lessen the King's troubles. So, he sent Harwin to find Princess Daena and bring her to the Throne Room where the feast would be held. That way, His Grace wouldn't have to worry himself about his unruly niece.

Harwin has never properly interacted with the Princess. He knew things about her - she was fiery and quick-witted like her father, she rode a very large dragon and if the rumors were true, she wasn't fond of the Hand, Ser Otto, and the new Queen. 

Just as he was turning a corner, he collided with something, or should he say someone. He came to a quick stop once he realized what just happened. He looked down and saw the person he was looking for - Princess Daena. 

"Princess, forgive me, I-"

"It's alright. It's my fault. I shouldn't have been running." 

They spoke over each other. She chuckled and he couldn't help but notice how angelic it sounded. He looked at her - she was wearing a beautiful bright red gown and her silver curls framed her oval face. Her wide lilac eyes gazed up at him, her plump pink lips slightly open as she studied his face.

"I'm sorry, Ser. I wasn't looking where I was going." She apologized again. 

"No need to apologize, Princess." He said, noticing how dry his mouth was all of a sudden.

She smiled and looked down. She gasped and bent down. "Damn it!" She said under her breath. 

"Princess?"

"There were two rings in this box! I can't find the other one." She explained with a sense of urgency and started looking around to find the missing ring. He started looking as well and in the corner of his eye saw something shimmering. 

He picked it up - it was a dainty golden ring with a small heart on top of it. He looked closer and saw that the letter R was carved into the heart. The Princess took the ring from his hand, her warm skin brushing against his. (x)

"It's my gift for Nyra." She said as she put the ring into the box.

"And the other ring?" He asked. 

"It has a D on it. I ordered matching rings made for us. I hope she likes it. " She revealed in a quiet voice.

"I'm sure the Princess will appreciate the gesture." He commented. 

She gave him a small smile and he couldn't ignore the way his heart skipped a beat. 

"Why are you here, Ser Harwin?" She asked softly. He loved the way his name fell from her plump lips. 

"I...I was sent here to find you and escort you to the feast."

"Oh...Well then, what are we waiting for?" She said with a cheeky smile and started walking, her long sleeves flowing behind her like flames. 

~

After the feast, Rhaenyra invited Daena to her chambers so they could open all the gifts she had received. Daena stood behind Nyra as she looked at a gown she was gifted by her maternal cousin, Lady Jeyne Aryyn.

"I have a gift for you as well." Daena broke the silence and handed Nyra the small box. Nyra quirked an eyebrow and opened it. She picked up the ring with her initials and laughed. 

"Oh, it's adorable! I love it! Thank you, cousin!" Nyra said and pulled Daena into a tight hug. 

Daena couldn't help but bask in the warmth of Rhaenyra's hug. "Try it." She said and Nyra placed the ring on her right hand. 

"I ordered matching rings for us. My has a D on it, see?" She said as she picked up the other ring. 

Daena then put the ring on her right hand, just like Rhaenyra. She laughed, not being able to contain her happiness. She proceeded to kiss Nyra on the cheek. "I hope you enjoyed your name day, mandia." (older sister/cousin)

"I have. All thanks to you, hāedar." (younger sister/cousin) Nyra responded and kissed Daena on the cheek. 

***

Harwin is here and he finally interacts with Daena and he is already taken with her and vice versa! We see how deep the bond is between the two princesses as they reminisce about Aemma and how much both girls miss her. And Daena ofc gifts Nyra matching rings to further seal their bond. ☺

Thanks for reading! 💕💕💕

If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment!

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

[deliciouskeys]

11 Homie and Butchlander 👀

Meme link

11 homie, forced to share a bed/fake relationship

Hmm. Homie is always crack in my hands, sorry Anon!

HL gets depowered by Soldier Boy in herogasm but they don’t kill him. They drag him into some scary warehouse and chain him up while Billy’s trying to decide how to most enjoyably off him, or whether they’d better keeping him alive to take down Vought. Hughie gets charged with taking care of their prisoner during the few days when these decisions are getting sorted, bring him food and water, hose him off etc, and HL’s so pathetic and begs so much that Hughie can’t take it anymore, he tries to convince Billy not to kill him by appeals to human rights and the wrongness of the death penalty but Billy’s like “lol what the hell have you been smoking”, but Hughie gets desperate because he’s sure killing defenseless people is wrong, and he’s in the trenches watching this wet tissue of a man deteriorate further every day, and no matter how many atrocities he’s committed in the past Hughie thinks it’s wrong to execute him. So he blurts out that he fucked HL and wants to keep him alive, and Billy seems to respond to something sordid like that much more than any humanitarian arguments. In reality, Billy fully knows Hughie is making shit up, but he wants to watch how far he’ll commit to the bit, because Billy’s a sadist lol. He suggests chaining HL up in Hughie’s bed for easy access, and Hughie’s like “what in my actual apartment? :c” and Billy’s like “Yep.” Hughie has to assure Annie there’s nothing actually going on between them, but now depowered HL is just hanging out in his bedroom and Hughie’s committed to the bit, and she’s disgusted and tells him she’s not going to live in the apartment and Hughie can just visit her in Vought Tower if he wants to (she never left the seven because canon diverged at s3e6). HL is still very grateful for Hughie getting his life spared and one night when Hughie is thinking “FML” and trying to sleep, HL is like “but can I actually do something for you?” from his air mattress on the floor, and Hughie briefly considers taking him up on the offer for some stress relief.

11 butchlander, forced to share a bed/fake relationship

Alright, this is a pretty fucked up scenario, but I actually really like the idea of HL and Billy having to pretend to get along for Ryan’s sake. And Ryan keeps upping the stakes, wanting them to have dinner together, go on vacation together, then eventually asks why they don’t all live together. Billy’s not going to disabuse Ryan of this impression because he figures this is the only chance he has of a relationship with him. HL tries to reason with Ryan and is met with confusion because if they aren’t together why did HL have him with Billy’s wife, and HL gets all pale and realizes Billy has basically blackmailed him into pretending they’re in a relationship or he gets outed for how Ryan was really conceived. So they grudgingly spend a lot of time together and pretend to be on good terms whenever Ryan is around. Eventually HL’s like, “I’m fine with pretending to be in a relationship with you but I need sex in my life, and I can’t really date anyone else, Ryan’s not going to accept it :c” and Billy refuses point blank at first but eventually realizes HL can be pretty subby and obedient during sex and he’s actually into it. So they’re having nice horny hatesex at night and acting affectionate and loveydovey for Ryan during the daytime. HL eventually decides to go public with the “fake” relationship, much to Vought’s consternation.

[nunezs-stuff]

Maku

His relationship with his daughter and son

Kianna:

At first was very strained and had a lot of tension

Both had different views on life and different attributes

And sometimes maku wonders why he adopted her he doesn't regret it she's his daughter but he didn't know it was going to be so much work especially dealing with a daughter that's basically the many version of him

Of course with their own obvious differences

They do have their fights in differences but they may not say it to each other but they do love each other despite kianna being angry that he didn't come for her sooner but understood the circumstances

But with the blood tablets and asking her to try to swallow one and well he realized like with Subaru she had a violent reaction to it she ended up choking and spitting out the tablet and running into the bathroom and smashing the mirror maku was not happy but was happy that it wasn't as worse as Subaru because he practically teared apart his room and half of the house

Subaru

To be honest Subaru had a violent reaction to maku since he didn't know him and thought it was his own father in disguise but realizing it wasn't but he was still angry but confused

Obviously they were on Rocky terms Subaru was violent and rough and moku didn't like that especially for his daughter's safety so maku pointed out Subarus toxic behavior and trying to instill it as love he forced Subaru into realizing

that type of Love is wrong and that was the love his own father fed his mother and that's what made Subaru realize if he didn't stop he was either going to become worser than his brothers or become his father so given some therapy some yelling and scolding but understandment and compassion Subaru learn to control his

violent tendencies mostly taking it out on either old stuffed animals that kianna didn't need or was already ripped Beyond repair of course maku introduced him to a punching bag which became his main source of getting out his anger

But over time Subaru began to see maku as a healthy father figure and a healthy person that his mother is safe to be around

Fun facts

He actually used to have brown hair and yellow eyes

Although over time faded into silvery blue and black

Like his mother's eyes and hair* my headcanon*

He despises bugs and perverted men

He doesn't like how a man can be so Shameless

And blatantly cat call a girl thinking she'll like it

That's why he's always been a bit strict with what kianna would wear

He understands that she can take care of herself but he knows she's a small girl and that if she wasn't careful something horrible could happen to her

Now he has a soft spot for children and animals

Due to his father's unsavory Behavior with his mother he has a strong respect for women

As of what his mother went through

And hopes that she's either at rest or escaped

While on Homeworld maku noticed that demaryius's

Mental health was deteriorating even as a god

And so he ended up walking into demaryius's office just to see him cutting himself

Which promptly ended up in maku yelling at him and grabbing his arm

Catching the attention of other children

Sister Rosa was not pleased to find her father cutting himself as much as she didn't trust maku she was happy he stopped father before he did something worse to himself

In that time in demaryius's isolation maku made sure he was away from sharp objects

And like with sister Rosa he forced him to take a break and sleep

And not to worry about the children since most of them were very independent

And could help each other

About that time he was always there Demaryius letting him cry on his shoulder letting out all his pent-up emotions

And maku was always there

Of course there were times where his children

Would also check on him since they cared a lot about their father and were scared for his well-being

But sister Rosa kept them away since she didn't want them seeing their father in such a unwell state especially at such a young age

Now maku was there rubbing demaryius's back to calm him down from a mental breakdown

And there when he would make Demaryius eat

When he would stop eating

Maku was overjoyed

And without thinking kiss Demaryius

Instead of Demaryius pushing him away he kissed back

And truth be told throughout that time Demaryius fell in love with maku

[mooniety]

i'm bored so here's a little info dump about the metasusie siren au i made two months ago:

TRIGGER WARNING: extremely brief mention of suicide

Starting off with the original one (where Meta's a siren/serpent thing):

Susie lives in a village near the sea.

Haltmann is a wealthy merchant whose health is slowly deteriorating due to an illness he obtained after his most recent travel across the ocean which has caused him to fall into a coma.

Coping with her current circumstances, Susie starts to sing in an isolated area by the shore to let out her internal struggles & pain. She is not aware that the day she begins to do so, a funny sea monster (Meta) is currently causing ruckus in the area (eating fishermen).

Because Meta is near the shore having his meal of the day, he happens to hear Susie singing & due to his siren instincts, he's immediately attracted to the song & follows it to find Susie. After this, he begins to appear by the shore more often to solely listen to her sing (& terrorize the village more I guess).

After months of failure & now more than desperate to find a way to wake her father from his coma, Susie begins to believe in the village's rumors & myths, specifically one that states that if you sacrifice yourself to the ocean, your greatest wish will come true. (Just a reminder from your local responsible adult: Rumors & myths such as this are not real & I do not in any way advocate this. This is suicide.)

One day, while waiting for Susie to sing, Meta hears a large splash into the ocean, goes to check on it, & lo & behold, it's Susie.

Even though she technically is an easy meal of the day, he instead decides to save her as he is completely aware of what she's doing (not the rumor, just the suicide). Also he developed an extremely one-sided crush listening to her sing for a few months (Susie has never been truly aware of his presence up until this point; only knowing him as "Oh yeah, did you know there's a huge humanoid serpent in the ocean that eats humans & lives really close to us?" & dubbed by the villagers as "Sword of the Sea" as Galaxia is infused into his tail).

After Susie realizes she's alive, Meta immediately dishes out a deal with her: in return for saving/waking her father, he'll have her voice (YEP IT TAKES THE LITTLE MERMAID TURN KINDA). As in, she can't see her father because she's too busy singing for the fish man. This is where their purely contractual to lovers relationship starts!

Over time, Susie gets to know more about Meta & his life so his feelings for her are eventually reciprocated. Think of it as a Beauty & The Beast montage.

Anyways, Haltmann's all good & Susie has a lover yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also have a flipped version where Susie's the siren:

Meta is an infamous pirate, known as the "Knight of the Seven Seas." The Meta-Knights are his crew & his ship's obviously called the Halberd.

His current mission is to capture the Voice of the Sea (Susie) alive so he can get that sweet bounty on her head.

The reason why Susie is being hunted down/has a bounty is due to her rumored voice - seen as more of a commodity/prize than an actual living being.

He manages to easily injure & capture her, but notices that she's not really all she's made out to be - she's oddly not very hungry for humans & her domain looks more like an underwater memorial for someone rather than a graveyard of sailors.

This is because Susie's domain is an actual memorial to her dead mother, who died a long time ago after being accidentally killed by sailors. (Original characters?! Nah, too lazy to make them.)

After being captured, Susie explains that she's partially human as her father was a human merchant that would travel the seas to bring prosperity to other nations & she has been singing for years under the hopes that her father will reunite with her someday. However, after waiting for over a decade, he still hasn't arrived.

Pitying her, Meta decides to make a deal with her: if she helps him make her bounty, he'll help her reunite with her father. This is where their purely contractual to eventual lovers relationship starts!

During their adventure searching for Susie's father, Susie learns about nature beyond the sea (such as flowers) in which Meta explains that they're used to show respect to the dead (comparing it to how sirens show respect to their dead through treasure & valuables). In every island they visit, Susie collects more & more flowers, hoping to add them to her mother's memorial when she finally returns with her father.

To add in a bit of fluff, when Meta first introduces Susie to the concept of flowers, he places one in her hair, explaining to her that this is usually a gesture to indicate affection, but immediately doubles down stating that he just did it to educate her. (Haha, sure.)

Eventually, they both learn that Susie's father died a long time ago due to health complications as after learning about the loss of his wife, he attempted to search for his only family left, his own daughter (Susie) to no avail as his complications caught up to him before any possible reunion.

When they finally visit his grave, Susie decides to decorate his grave with all the flowers they collected over their previous journeys.

Anyways, Meta gets his money but also a lover yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scribblestatic]

been feeling really bleh and sick in March and April's not looking too much better, so here's a quick idea just cause

Kinda like the Miko AU and kinda like canon, but different

So, like, Izuku's like a medium, but he doesn't have any real control over it and doesn't realize it's happening when it does. He knows something is wrong because he started getting sick when he was little despite being perfectly healthy as a little kid, but he's not sure what.

Now, he's a pale, slightly gaunt boy with eyes too big and shiny and seems sort of fragile with small smiles and soft speech.

But sometimes he gets locked in place and he fazes out. His body doesn't move, forced mostly still by some sort of innate instinct in his cells, imprisoning whoever came in, but giving them the opportunity to speak. He sometimes moves, though, stiltedly as if it's hard to do so in such a state.

Though, there's one that doesn't have to move much. A reoccurring presence. It's powerful enough that it can move things simply being inside of Izuku.

However, it's not the kindest, whatever it is.

It says hurtful things. It's mocking, malicious in a sense. It seems to enjoy producing fear and pain, all while Izuku doesn't know what he said to make the people around him come to hate him. Even his relationship with his mom has become tepid, strained from words she inherently knows he didn't say, but it hurt her all the same.

Not knowing what he says, Izuku steadily stops speaking until he barely says anything at all. Instead, he goes about his day, tinkering with things. Eventually, he becomes good enough to get into U.A.'s tech course and plans to join that way.

By his teen years, he's more cognizant to the things that possess him, but he still has absolutely no control over it. As such, he decided to go to home school to reduce the amount of people he was around. So, he's a rather lonely 14-year-old. But, he's had access to the internet, knows how to use it, and gained access to many paywalled studies by requesting permission from the authors to view it. So, he has quite a bit of technical knowledge that he's able to utilize.

Still, his physical abilities suffered. He's still rather weak and fragile when it comes down to it, and due to some of this deterioration, despite his young age, he uses a rollator. It has a basket he can put items in, and a seat for whenever he gets too tired. He sits on it when doing his work, spending a long time alone, listening to music or humming.

Though U.A. accepts him, many students give him a wide berth immediately. The energy around him is odd, like there's a chill clinging to his skin. The teachers are a little weirded out by it, considering his file says he has no quirk.

But nothing shows itself until Eraser Head visits Power Loader while he's working on a project after school.

The two are talking with their backs to him, but then they both freeze up. Something in the air felt colder. Izuku also stopped humming. His shoulders twitched, and his hand dropped the tool he was just using.

"Midoriya? Oy, kid--" Power Loader began, but--

He gurgled. Eraser Head immediately went over. He was faster than the other hero since he wasn't in large, heavy-duty gear. Thinking he was possibly choking on something, he turned Izuku's rollator to him so he could check his mouth and throat for any blockages.

But instead, Izuku's large pupils stared up at him as he gasps again, his throat clear. The dark marks on his face darker than before, the boy's thin hand grabbing his in a vice grip.

His skin was like ice. And, much to Eraser Head's surprise, when he pulled to get the boy to let go of him, he didn't.

When Izuku breathed out, it came as a white puff of steam despite the temperature in the room not having changed.

A few seconds, those blown-out eyes staring up at his face. Izuku, slowly, with blue-tinted fingers, traced his own right eye, staring directly at the older man.

Then, he started to laugh.

It wasn't normal, however. Though the boy barely spoke, he did speak enough for at least Power Loader and a scant few other staff and teachers to know what his voice sounded like. And his usual soft tone was still there, but it was drowned underneath a scratching, deep, ragged sound. Like someone many, many years older than the boy was.

"Curiousss..."

He grinned, his teeth shining in the light, his pupils having somehow expanded beyond normal bounds, consuming more of his eyes.

"Better be careful, pretty man. Or you'll lose ya pretty face."

A hitch in his breath.

"Or rather...yer little ducklingssss will."

The lights above and near the two flicker as Izuku's breath continues to come out as fog.

"But that'll hurt even more, won't it? Watching their facesss decay right in fronna ya."

Eraser Head stopped trying to dislodge him, staring firmly at the boy gazing back at him, categorizing everything happening for a future report.

"I can't wait to watch ya ssssquirm..."

He started laughing again, a crackle in his voice. Then louder and louder still. His cackling echoed in the room as the lights flickered.

Then, the lamp closest to Izuku cracked and shattered, glass spreading on the ground behind him, and the hand gripping Eraser Head's wrist loosened, weakening. The boy leaned back, falling against the back of his rollator as Eraser Head immediately moved to steady it so the boy wouldn't fall out.

Everyone was quiet except for Izuku's deep gasping as he resurfaced from...wherever he went. Steadily, cognition returned to him, and he looked around blearily, his pupils back to their normal size. He finally gazed up at Eraser Head, and his expression fell.

Then, he closed his eyes, brows scrunched in distress.

Contrary to before, this time, his voice came out as a whisper, soft and hoarse.

"...What did I say?"

[missellaneousworks]

Heartbreak - A Sunny Day Jack Drabble

Pairings: Sunny Day Jack x Ella (OC)

Context: Interaction is mostly platonic, but with some pining on Jack's part. This takes place a little while after Ella finds the VHS tape and Jack, but before Ella falls for Jack.

Something is Wrong With Sunny Day Jack is a +18 ONLY series. MINORS DNI.

______________________________

"I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand."

Jack blinked in surprise at Mr. Darcy's words as he uttered them to Elizabeth Benett on the screen. "Huh," he made a noise as if processing his confession with as much confusion as Elizabeth. "The confession scene is happening much earlier than I thought it would..."

"Shhhh," Ella put her finger towards her lips but tilted her head towards him with a knowing look. "Just wait."

Jack brought his attention back to the screen and watched the rest of the scene unfold, as Darcy seemed utterly confounded by Elizabeth's rejection and rebuttal of his treatment towards her and her family. Sure enough, the conversation began to deteriorate between the two when Elizabeth threw one final insult toward the proud Mr. Darcy.

"And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry."

Jack couldn't help but wince a little bit. Elizabeth certainly had a right to feel angry, it sounded like Darcy had a hand in breaking up the relationship between her sister and his best friend, among other transgressions. Anyone would be mad about that. Yet, seeing how Darcy looked at Elizabeth, so close together, a part of him couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him.

Jack was about to try his luck again by asking Ella another question, now that the scene was coming to an end, but... she seemed lost in thought. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek and her gaze seemed so distantly sad. He was about to open his mouth to ask what was wrong when she beat her to it, "Hey, Jack?"

"Yes, Sunshine?" Jack answered back cheerfully, almost a little too quickly.

"I've... got a personal question to ask you," she spoke so carefully, as if hesitant on the next words out of her mouth.

"Sure, go ahead! You'll find me and open book, Sunspot," he puffed out his chest, as if proud of that statement.

Ella laughed nervously in return. "Okay, but I totally understand if you don't want to answer." She fidgeted with her hands, averting her case from Jack as she spoke. "Before you--before we met, have you ever gotten your heart broken?"

Out of all questions, Jack had to admit he wasn't expecting that. He regarded Ella for a long moment, her shy gaze finally peeking up from behind her fallen hair. He gave her a gentle smile in return. While Jack didn't quite know where her question came from, he hoped a small bit of the honesty he could offer would help in some way.

"You know what?" He finally replied, causing Ella to lift her head with anticipation. "Truth be told, yeah, I have."

"R-really?" Ella sifted her body on the couch, tucking her knees beneath her to inch closer. Her genuinely surprised reaction was actually quite adorable.

Jack chuckled and nodded. "Oh yeah! But we all have at some point. So, you're not alone when it comes to experiencing it."

Ella shifted back again, trying to mask her nervousness, and utterly failing at it. "Ah ha ha ha! Wha-- wh-who said I've ever gotten my heart broken? Naaaaah, not me!"

Jack's smile worked into a crooked half-grin, seeing through Ella's attempt to lie. "Ella, I hope you know there's no shame in heartbreaks. It's just a part of life, and it's very common." Ella was back on the couch fully, still avoiding looking at Jack. Not wanting her to feel embarrassed, he shifted his torso to face her to seem more open. "But, I know you're a very strong person who has been through a lot in your life. And the good news is that heartbreaks don't last forever! It might not seem like it at first, but it will get better in the end."

Ella sighed, but her lips quirked up in a dry half-smile. Like she was just trying for his sake, though she wasn't fully convinced. "But how do you get past your heartbreak? Only thing people keep telling me is 'time will heal all wounds.' I'm... tired of waiting. Really tired."

Jack understood that sentiment more than Ella could ever know. He could feel the sadness slowly emitting from her heart. The blue-haired man occasionally sensed glimpses of this sadness and other times, painful loneliness. More concerning was the creeping despair that would snake up to Ella's heart when she was alone for too long. Whenever that happened, he did his best to prevent Ella from falling into that hole of anguish, but now he had a name for the emotion she was feeling: heartbreak.

The realization was also met with another question Jack had in the back of his mind: Who did this to you?

But as much as he wanted to get that answer from her quivering lips, as much as he would very much like to find whoever could hurt such a kind, creative, and passionate woman who wouldn't hurt a fly... it wasn't what Ella needed right now. Now more than anything, Ella needed a friend to share her troubles with. And who was Sunny Day Jack but the bestest friend anyone could ask for?

Jack took a breath to coordinate his words, "Well, heartbreak is also a time of self-reflection. You can reflect on why had your heartbreak and you have to work on it, little by little." It was Jack's turn to turn his gaze downwards. He did not enjoy thinking about the past--that wasn't him anymore--but if the tiniest fraction of empathizing with Ella's pain could help her heal and get him just a little closer to her, it would be worth it. "When I had my heart broken, it was hard to overcome. But I also realized I hadn't been the best person that I could have been. I think it's important to learn from your past so you can make yourself happy, and avoid any future heartbreak."

Ella patiently listened to Jack's explanation. The expression of concern on her face didn't escape him when he talked about himself, but then her expression shifted to more thoughtful. "Mistakes, huh?" She mused out loud. "I guess... thinking about it now, one of my mistakes was not being more open about stuff that bothered me. I kind of kept my bad feelings from-- um, my previous partner, and I guess that built resentment between us."

Jack caught onto Ella stopping herself from saying the name of whoever hurt her so badly. But he kept himself in check, his reassuring smile remained ever-present. "I'm happy that it's given you something to learn from for your future relationships. Just remember not to keep things to yourself for too long, otherwise, you'll be frustrated that your problems aren't resolved. Communication is key, after all! And I'm sure your partner will be so happy you're sharing your worries with them and will make it easier to understand you."

Ella nodded, allowing Jack's advice to sink in, but her expression still seemed worrisome still. "But what if... what if I do tell them how I'm feeling, and they don't... listen? Maybe they have something more important going on?"

Jack frowned at that. "Well, if you're opening up to your partner and they don't want to listen, then they're not the right one for you." Jack was resolute in his response as if it was the most basic answer in the universe. "Your feelings are valid and a good partner will want to listen to you and help you. If they can't respect your thoughts and feelings, then the relationship isn't healthy."

Ella's round brown eyes looked into Jack's dark ones for a long moment. Something seemed to have clicked in that intriguing mind of hers. She made a small noise of confirmation before she readjusted herself and faced the TV again. "I guess... that' sone way to look at it. Honestly, there were times I thought I was making a big deal out of nothing."

"Oh, Sunshine," Jack's voice was soft and gentle as he carefully brought his large hand up and patted Ella on the head. "I might not know exactly what happened, but I highly doubt you were making a big deal out of nothing. If it was enough to worry you, then it's enough to be able to talk about it if you needed to."

Ella froze for a moment at the sudden contact of Jack's hand. But it wasn't unwelcome. Far from it. It was... comforting. Nice even. Very nice. Gradually, Ella's shoulders relaxed, she even found herself slightly leaning into Jack's hand. "I think I have some stuff to rethink about later, but... Thanks, Jack. That... that helped a bit."

Secretly, Jack was pleased Ella was getting more comfortable around him, but he was even more glad that he seemed to help ease her sadness if only a little bit. "Of course, Ella! I'm happy I was able to help! And for what it's worth," he removed his head from her head and placed it on her shoulder to get her full attention. "I think you deserve a partner who will listen to you and make you happy. You're a very unique and kind woman who deserves nothing less. Maybe even more." It was the truth, too. In time, he wanted to be that someone for Ella. But... he needed to wait a bit longer.

The compliment made Ella's cheeks turn pink, a small but touched smile pulled at her lips. Her eyes flashed to the TV and squinted at the screen. "Oh crap!" Her exclamation caused Jack to pull his hand away. "We missed a good chunk of the movie! Hang on, I'm gonna rewind it a bit..." She reached for the controller and went back a couple of scenes.

"Ah ha ha! I'm surprised you broke your own rule of no talking during movies," the clown chuckled, wagging his finger.

Ella rolled her eyes at that. "It's only when it's a movie being watched for the first time by one or more parties. Speaking of which," she leered at Jack teasingly, "Shall we resume?"

Jack nodded as Ella hit the play button and the movie started where they last remembered. There was another long moment the two didn't speak, but once again, Ella broke the silence. "Jack?"

"Yes, Sunshine?"

"Um, what you said earlier about yourself, about 'not being the best person you could be.' For what it's worth... I think you're pretty great." With that sentence, Ella leaned into Jack's side.

Warmth radiated through Jack's being as Ella was the closest she had been since the two had met. With slow, calculated movements he stretched his arm drape along the back of the couch so that Ella could comfortably rest her head against it, an action she cautiously, yet contently leaned into.

In that little moment of happiness, he could sense something else small and light bubble up from Ella's heart. A warm, soft feeling. It was just starting to bud. It was... so small yet so precious to Jack at that moment.

His eyes looked at her with soft tenderness. "That... means a lot coming from you. Thank you, Sunshine."

As they enjoyed each other's company, he hoped this movie had a happy ending after all. Because he was going to make sure there would be one for the two of them.

[allisoooon]

Viktor and Allison’s s3 relationship road map

Sooooooo much of the discourse around Viktor and Allison this season has been blaming one or the other for how things fell apart between them.  It’s more complicated than that.  Viktor and Allison this season were a microcosm of this fucked-up family dynamic we’ve been following all along.

1. Allison improvises a lie that they have Marcus when they don’t.  It was done without thinking it through or discussing it beforehand.  This tells Viktor that Allison is a bit erratic right now, and I can see him wanting to involve her less because she is clearly overwhelmed.

2. Allison is verbally aggressive against the Sparrows at the end of 3.03.  Same effect as #1.

3. Allison goes to Viktor after torturing Sloane, smashing a mirror, and impulsively chopping off her own hair.  She badly needs to talk to her best friend and vent what’s in her head, but Viktor prioritizes Harlan and the needed conversation never takes place. CROSSROADS: Here, I very much understand where Viktor is coming from, but this is one of those places where a lot could have been done to prevent further deterioration of Allison’s state of mind and her relationship with Viktor.  Allison should have sought out someone else, but who?  Five and Lila have disappeared, Klaus is babysitting, Luther is busy guarding Sloane, and Diego is there for her, but in a way that makes it worse.  Viktor can’t be damage control to both Harlan and Allison immediately, but I think his reason for choosing Harlan is that he’s familiar with how to calm him down, since not everyone knows how to handle autistic sensory overload and their specific powers.  However, he needed to recognize immediately that Allison took “later” as a rejection, that Allison is deeply desperate and her saying “not okay” is a big cry for help, and ask her to wait somewhere specific and promise to be there right after this—and then follow up.  Viktor’s biggest mistake here is that he does not follow up.

4. With Harlan as their only leverage, Viktor independently decides to help him escape.  Allison volunteers to help, taking Harlan somewhere safe, because “You would do it for me, wouldn’t you?”  This is a lot of trust for Allison to put in Viktor, but Viktor does not actually have a plan to make peace with the Sparrows after this.

5. While taking Harlan’s powers, Allison becomes terrified Viktor is being harmed.  She tells Viktor he can trust her with what’s going on.  Viktor suggests she leave instead.

CROSSROADS: If Viktor had told her the truth now, or better yet, earlier, Allison would probably have had a milder reaction. Compounding the revelation with the slap in the face of Viktor never trusting her made things that much worse. But also, Viktor really needed to talk to the family about this proposed solution because, for all they know, depowering Harlan could be a compromise the Sparrows would accept, so long as they could verify with their own eyes that it happened.  As it stands, Viktor had no plan to make peace with the Sparrows and save the world other than “I’ll figure something out.”  That’s a huge fucking problem.

6. Harlan confesses.  Allison realizes Viktor has been hiding something vital while risking all of existence to save one person.  This, after Allison put a lot of trust in him when she took Harlan somewhere safe.  At this point, Viktor loses the ability to de-escalate anything.

7. Allison kills Harlan, knowing this would forever put a crack in her bond with Viktor.  

CROSSROADS: She could have simply captured him and turned him over to the Sparrows, but no.  She had to be the one to kill him.  It’s like she was trying to burn that bridge with Viktor.  Obviously, it was something she saw as justice for all the damage Viktor has caused, because she has suffered a great deal more from Viktor’s actions than Viktor ever has.  I also get that there isn’t something morally different from killing Harlan herself as opposed to taking him to the Sparrows so they can kill him, but Viktor will always remember it was Allison who did it.  That can’t be separated now.

8. Viktor and Allison’s fight.  It’s full of cognitive distortions from them both, but especially Allison—and yet, they both have some really good points.  Viktor never had the power to bring Claire back, and Allison is constantly expected to swallow her own pain so she can be there for everyone else while Viktor gets treated with kid gloves, protected from the consequences of his actions (something Allison herself has been, perhaps, the most guilty of).  Viktor slides into a victim mentality.  Allison uses the basement in a verbal attack, something she knew would hurt him, and chokes him with a Rumor.  It’s an ugly fight, but it’s a culmination of everything that came before.

9. After a little wallowing, Viktor climbs out of the victim mentality and starts living what’s left of his life.  He tries to make up with Allison as a favor to Luther. She is not ready to forgive and rebuffs him cruelly.

10. Allison makes up with Viktor, seemingly as a ploy to get him to vote in favor of, you know, saving billions of lives, including their own.  Viktor promises her his vote.

11. Viktor votes against the plan anyway.

12. The misunderstanding of Allison’s involvement in Luther and Klaus’ deaths puts things at their most fragile point, but Allison tells the truth in the face of death: that she needs Viktor to forget literally everything that happened in the last few days and trust her.  This gets them on the same page at last—not because Viktor trusts her, but because she is being honest.

CROSSROADS: Finally, one of them does something that makes a difference in a positive way.  Between Allison learning the truth from Harlan and now, she was in no state to hear anything Viktor said with an open mind.  She really had to be given time, and probably face death at Viktor’s side.

13. Viktor nearly uses his powers to stop Allison from pressing the button. Allison asks him to trust her.  In a moment that defies logic in the most beautiful way, Viktor powers down and trusts her blindly.  Allison gives him a grateful smile, then presses the button.

CROSSROADS: Viktor trusts Allison here the way Allison trusted him when she took Harlan somewhere safe.  Allison is going to remember this.

With trauma, some people react by imploding (like Klaus and Luther), some by exploding.  Allison and Viktor are exploders, so it gets extra ugly between them.  And Allison has essentially been Viktor’s enabler this entire time, so that made it worse.  In a lot of ways, Allison resent Viktor for things that were her own fault—that he never faced true consequences of his actions—and that’s totally believable to me as a codependent.

[lee-hakhyun]

what do you think of LHH being a writer, reader and a protagonist? ofc not in the grand scheme of the universe way, but he’s got all the three tropes down.

Writer - of ORV, we know that and also his debut work which gives me brain worms to think about. Even before he fully knew why he was in the world, he knew he was a liar. Casually lying about his past to get by. LHH ily.

Reader - he loves ORV like his readers, he loves the story, and *ahem* that insane reveal (I try not to think of it much lest it taint my perception of Hakhyun, he’s my bbg!!!)

Protagonist - he’s the MC of this story!! this story that was made for him, it’s his, yet he wants nothing to do with it. Man just wants to go home with his readers and honestly he’s so real for that. Such a breath of fresh air. He just doesn’t accept his fate like a lot of isekaid-against-their-will protags do. I’ll love him for that and dream of his happy ending, even though I feel like a selfish voyeur just by reading the side story (*insert the world continues by reading yadda yadda bs*) :,))

I’m so insane for him help,,, he’s been plaguing my drafts, someone get him outta there 🧍

he's truly the guy of all time. adding on a lot of my thoughts

i love writer characters,, especially ones that get transmigrated into their own work (hi sqh), and he even gets to he the protagonist..! even if the story is not. treating him well

lies especially are such an important part to his character. the lies he wrote for jhw, the lies about his childhood, his lies to jung jaewoo, and all of his works (bar orv) having themes of lies,,

and. it's really clear he has issues with his identity made infinitely worse by ending up in orv and realizing that he isn't the 'real' author. transmigrating into cheon inho and using incite to copy others, even getting an item that can copy other items.. it makes the moments when he thinks of himself as 'lee hakhyun' so much more special

and oh. he's a character who loves so much. trying to save as many people as possible throughout the stations, even trying to save the monsters in the 'emergency defense' battle by convincing them to stop fighting. even the 'extras' that kdj didn't pay much attention to, he took care of them, gave them food and taught them how to hunt

directly challenging hsy's plan for 41!yjh's sake.. willing to sacrifice himself just so one more person could survive. WRITING HIS OWN DEATH TO PERSUADE HSY.

the 49!kdj pov was heartbreaking. but it was needed. i thought about it, and 49 only started breaking down after his first doubts of himself as 'kim dokja'.. was the reason he started deteriorating so quickly because he no longer believed kim dokja's stories were his? i don't think kdi anticipated this when he split himself,, i think he sincerely wanted his companions to be happy with a part of himself. when everyone was trying to figure out what went wrong with 49's body they said the amount of stories should have lasted him at least decades, and sys saying the stories that connected him to her felt unstable.. was this because 49 was subconsciously rejecting those stories? and then his final wish to be anyone but kim dokja. oh my god.

he got his wish, but the story found him again. while lhh was previously 49, he's now his OWN PERSON and referring to him as 49 is directly against what he wanted. please don't do that. even hsy realized and accepted it (..after lhh made her kill him.)

if i talk about his relationship with jhw i will combust. maybe another time.

[inordinaries]

( choi wooshik, thirty4, cismale, he/him ) ☼ i know it’s a small town, but i run into JORDAN CHO every time i go to THE ADVENTURER’S GUILD. it’s like they practically live there and not CINDERSAP FOREST for A YEAR. it must be because they’re HEADSTRONG and CURIOUS. come to think of it, that’s probably why they’re an ADVENTURER too. but i did hear they want to DISCOVER A NEW SPECIES ON GINGER ISLAND, and sometimes they like to MAKE SEASHELL ART. rumor has it they also like CINDERCLOWN SHOES, but dislike HORSERADISH. what do you think? —— STATS, PINTEREST.

i. history.

jordan was born april 2, 1990 in stardew valley, where he spent a good chunk of his early life. he has an older sister and a younger brother, making him the lucky middle child <3

didn't necessarily have a bad upbringing, but didn't necessarily have a good one, either -- from a young age, his main goals were to be a really good husband and a really good father someday; basically take care of his family in a way that his own parents didn't. up until his mid-teens, he was quiet, but very reliable & "wise beyond his years". was often a voice of reason for his mom and siblings when they needed to vent.

his own wants and needs went unanswered a lot, not necessarily intentionally, but just b/c he was never the type the express what he needed or wanted; his priority was making sure other people were taken care of.

however, he kind of started to view himself as a victim -- didn't exactly realize he was perpetuating the way he was treated, and as he got a little older, he became angry with the people around him. started being kind of shitty, half hormones and half suppressed emotions; kind of hot and cold, still wanted to support his family but wld be snarky a lot and hurt feelings, and then just "make up for it" through acts of service or something along those lines instead of apologizing, which caused his relationships to start to deteriorate. which resulted in MORE anger and frustration because idt he fully realized the harm he was causing, and consequently also didn't understand why ppl seemed more cautious/distant around him.

he moved to zuzu city for college @ 19, where he majored in ecology. being in a new environment / around new people caused him to do a lot of self-revelation, and he realized he didn't exactly like who he was; what does this mean for him? self-reinvention!

started coping thru humor; trained himself not exactly to find silver linings, but to at least find something funny in the mundane & to say 'yes' if there's no real reason to say 'no', so he had a good time in college and ultimately met his (now ex) wife there. she viewed him as someone funny, but smart & determined.

they got married in 2012 and had their first/only child in 2013, a girl named stella. for a while, things were really good!!!!!!! the family stayed in zuzu city, but as time passed by, jordan traveled more & more often, spending an increasing amt of time away from home in the name of "work" (re: adventuring) which his wife was doubtful of because he never seemed to bring much money home, and age wasn't making him any more serious or responsible. tldr the reasons that she fell in love with him became reasons for her to be irritated by him, and he rly wasn't providing financially or emotionally for his family with how often he was gone and how little he had to show for it - was not realizing his aforementioned dreams of being a good husband and good father.

eventually divorced in 2023, and very shortly after moved back to stardew valley, where he now resides in a cabin in cindersap forest. has not been coping with the divorce very well; has consequently thrown himself pretty much completely into his work. at this point, he has a number of sponsorships, so he gets by pretty alright.

he gets his daughter on her school breaks & for holidays and spends the entire time trying to impress her, as she is unfortunately getting to the age where she's critical & sarcastic. gets his feelings hurt a lot. considers it karmic retribution.

when he doesn't have his daughter, he's usually alone. despite being (physically) closer to his family again, he still hasn't exactly repaired his relationships with them & lacks the consistency to maintain friendships. copes with humor now more than ever; is a very goofy guy & strives to make people laugh, as he feels there's not much else he can offer. but he doesn't write or visit his friends often, so most of his connections kind of fizzle out and all he's left with is shallow, base-level stuff.

likes to stay busy so he doesn't have to face the increasingly obvious matter at hand: he chases away all the people who give a shit about him. likes anything creative and/or silly; if he's not working (which, mind you, he's currently set on discovering a new species on ginger island, as he's convinced he saw something yet to be identified a few months back) he's probably making seashell art (which his daughter HATES), sketching the birds and misc other critters he sees, laying in the grass and repeating affirmations to himself, laughing at his own jokes, or playing the spoons. is not serious AT ALL & romanticizes that fact for himself whilst his family begs and pleads for him to grow up, recalling the reliable guy he used to be.

[rainedroptalks]

i would love to hear about the evil bad books

HI MURPH I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS

(Alos I deleted this on my first try by accident lmao)

So there’s two, both by the same author, and I haven’t finished either. Ones called “twisted love” if that’s any indication of the vibe

So the first one! It’s about divorce! I have fully forgotten the name, but the main characters were called Alessandra and Dominic. I’m gonna call them A and D for my own sake

So these two met in college, A’s a nepo baby and D’s in here with a scholarship, he was poor growing up (also he has a brother who I fully forgot was part of the plot the first time I wrote this). He has dyslexia, so he is having trouble passing one of his classes, so his only good professor gives him the info of another student who does tutoring. It’s A. The two of them do the tutoring thing (which is honestly kinda cute. Fig you had no context for what happens later). D passes his exams and eventually the two begin dating, and then get married. At 23. Bad idea but okay

In the story, the two have been married for 10 years. D is now this super rich capitalist guy with a big company. He’s also a terrible boss. A has been basically his trophy wife for the past decade and the relationship is deteriorating. He forgets everything, doesn’t listen to her and constantly assumes how she feels. She doesn’t ever communicate how she feels so the marriage is going bad. They tried doing marriage counseling once but he fully forgot and she had to sit in that office making excuses for him while the counselor just looked at her with pity. He came home from work and didn’t even apologize for not showing up.

The final straw for her is their 10th anniversary. The two planned a trip to where their honeymoon happened (I think) and she reminded him like 3 times before he went to work. Would you be shocked if it turned out he forgot. Would you

She waits for ages and calls him multiple times. He doesn’t answer. She gets so pissed that she gets the bag she packed for the trip, puts her wedding ring on a table and leaves. When D gets home he starts looking for her and sees the packed bags. Finally he remembers and starts being an asshole to the maid about where A went. She says that A left. He starts worrying, not cuz he realizes he was a duck but because he’s super rich and thinks someone might hurt her to hurt him or smth.

Meanwhile A’s doing fine, she’s just at a hotel. The next morning she calls him, tells him her location and then hangs up before he can say anything. He shows up and here we see he doesn’t think of anything he’s done as wrong. “I’ll just book a new trip” SHUT UP!!! Anyway at the end of this she says she wants a divorce. This is like. Chapter 4

A goes to move in with a friend. She also realizes that she gave up a lot of her life to this dude, that she only has 3 friends and no life. The friend helps her out, and also gives her an ornate knife that she can stab her (ex)husband with. It was wrapped like a present. She’s so cool. Also D’s refusing to sign the papers so she gets a divorce lawyer.

At some point, D goes out with his friends for a business thing (what’s new), 2 of which are married to two of A’s friends. So they know. They awkwardly bring it up and he says something like “oh A’s just upset, she won’t actually go through with it.” And the one of his friends calls him a piece of shit and that if he treated his own wife like that even once she’d leave him forever. A’s had to deal with his bullshit for 10 years. Finally D realizes he sucks (not when his wife tells him though. He had to have his friends tell him. He doesn’t respect his wife)

So this begins the saga of him harassing her to show that “he still loves her”. He sends flowers. He follows her to a club. He threatens to beat up some guy who was flirting with her. Also the first sex scene happens here (I was not expecting that I was trying to stop myself from laughing in the library lol). In a bathroom. In a club bathroom. That’s… unsanitary, right?

Later there’s a party or something I dunno and he sees his estranged older brother here. Someone also dies here! Some old rich guy I don’t care. A’s here with her friends and she’s in shock from seeing a dead guy so D takes her home. They do the sex thing again. In the morning, he sees her trying to leave while he was sleeping and has the AUDACITY to get mad. The two start arguing and A starts crying. D realizes he broke this completely and agrees to sign the divorce papers then and there. The two are officially divorced

So next A goes on vacation. Her brother is in um. I don’t remember but it was in South America I believe, so she joins him. She gets a one way ticket. D finds out AND HE GETS A FLIGHT THERE TOO. FUCKING WEIRDO!!! She tries to ignore him but she thinks “Wow. D never goes away from his business things… maybe he really does care about me” AND GIRL THAT IS THE DEVIL SPEAKING. THE DEVIL

Then her mother calls, telling her that she’s getting married (again) and it’s in two days. What the fuck is happening. A and her brother have no fucking clue how to get there in two days and D offers his private jet he has (have we mentioned he’s rich yet? He’s rich) to take them. So apparently A’s mom is a model/actress/I don’t remember and she’s had a ton of failed relationships so A does not think this’ll last. Anyway, at the wedding, she hears the vows and starts tearing up cuz it reminds her of her own wedding and how wrong everything went. D tries to talk to her after the wedding, but her brother stops him and essentially says “Hey man you’re a friend to me but she’s my sister. And you clearly fucked this up. Leave her alone.” Anyway he doesn’t do this and A FUCKING FORGIVES HIM IN A CONVERSATION. Well, not fully. She agrees to try starting again, but also that they’re not married anymore and that she’s allowed to date and do things like that without him bitching about it.

The friend who gave her the knife is devastated at this news when A gets back. She can see this going so so wrong. Also the whole time in the background A’s been trying to open a flower shop or something like that, and the dude who owns the property she wants to use is apparently super and super nice, so the two go on a date. This was before the mothers wedding and the whole trip, and D shows up at the restaurant. He was actually there for something else, so he wasn’t stalking her this time. Anyway the other dudes fine I don’t remember him much. He wears flannels.

So that’s where I left off. I swear I’ll finish that book someday

The other one I barely read but it was about this 22 year old girl. Her name was Ava, and her brothers going away for a school thing. He’s super worried about her cuz apparently something happened when she was younger so he’s protective of her or whatever.

Also the book opens with her being stranded in the rain. Her brothers going away party is soon and she hasn’t picked up the cake yet. So she calls him and he picks up and tells her one of his friends borrowed his car. He tells her he’ll send the friend to pick her up. I would love you to guess what he’s doing during the call. IF YOU GUESSED THAT HE WAS HAVING SEX BEFORE PICKING UP HER CALL AND HE DID NOT LEAVE THE ROOM AND SITUATION BEFORE TALKING TO HIS SISTER then you’d be right!

So the dude who picks her up is this totally cool and mysterious friend of her brothers and also he’s an asshole. They get to the party and the best character shows up, Ava’s super hot best friend. She hates Ava’s brother apparently. She’s so cool

So the brother asks his friend (whose name I don’t care to remember) to watch over Ava while hes gone. He interprets this as “be super weird and controlling despite the fact you barely know this girl”. Anyway Ava should be dating her friend she comforts her every time she wake up from a night terror, even though she’s busy with law school. Ava’s friend is the perfect woman

Anyway that’s all! Sorry for the super long and rambly post I just have a lot of opinions. If there’s spelling mistakes I’m sorry I don’t have the energy to fix them

[prosperdemeter2]

Behind the Scenes for “almost home” if you have the time?

OH MY GOD yes I have time for this. The entire day by day series means so much to be and I still fully believe it's potentially some of the best work I've ever done.

I don't know if I have a favorite scene in the installment, tbh. So I'll just pick one that I've brought up in therapy (literally 😅 my therapist has a link to this series because I worked through so much while writing it.).

I'm hiding it under the Read More so people can scroll past this if they want 😅

It's the scene where they're in the car on their way to pick up Chris and Liana from the Hershey police department. That big confrontation between Adriana and Buck. This entire trip was meant to sort of... symbolize everything the Buckley-Diaz family has gone through so far to get to a stable place of being. Like... can you really be healed, if you don't also end up confronting where your pain comes from?

Funnily enough, I didn't have Adriana set up to be the bad guy, so to speak, when I started the story. It was never supposed to actually go as far or as long as it did, I just... loved the story so much. And then when I was on vacation I couldn't get the potential plot point of Eddie’s relationship with Sophia out of my head and... things with Adriana sort of spiraled to represent my deteriorating relationship with my own sister (one of them). BUT anyway, Buck finally confronting Adriana was so important to me to put in, because so far he hadn't been in the right place to ever give Adriana what she wanted - a fight.

It was incredibly important to me to show the entire time that Buck understood exactly what it was that Liana was going through, even if the two of them weren't on the same side of the coin. He was sort of, accidentally even, projecting his own anxieties onto her (evidenced by him flashing back when Liana and Adriana get in a fight).

“Because Christopher is perfect ,” Adriana crossed her arms and looked out the window. Inside the little convenience store Eddie was at the counter, paying with a tired frown on his face. They were all still in their pajamas, but Buck was thankful that his and Eddie’s, at least, were simple sweatpants rather than fuzzy blue things like Adriana was sporting. “He can’t do anything wrong.”

Adriana compares her entire life to Eddie. It's a fault of the way they were raised, but it's also just who she is as a person. She's so incredibly jealous of the person he's become that it comes out in every single aspect of her life. In her eyes, he's perfect to everyone else and she is the only one that can see the flaws. She's projecting that same feeling onto Christopher, because their parents unknowingly do the same thing to him that they did with Eddie.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Buck couldn’t help himself, Liana’s face at the mention of their wedding floating in his mind.

Adriana rolled her eyes. “I was fifteen once,” she rolled her lips with a scowl. Buck realized he had never really seen her smile. He wondered, absently, if it looked anything like Eddie or Sophia’s. “I too tried to run away from home.”

Adriana doesn't get it. She's like... she's like all of those moms who's have trauma themselves that think that their trauma informs them of the kind they throw onto their kids. She has given Liana a stable home, with both of her parents around, and she doesn't understand why her daughter isn't THANKFUL for that over angry. She sees it all and labels it as "typical teenage angst", missing the fact that, when you're a teenager, everything feels so heightened.

“She didn’t run away from home, Adriana.”

She laughed, a bitter eye-roll painting her face. “Imbécil.”

The leather cracked as he sat up, a stream of anger clawing at his insides. “She ran away from you .”

Now THIS part, I had stuck in my head since dreaming up this conversation. Not a lot of kids run away from home without a reason, and Liana isn't excempt from that. And who better to point it out to Adriana than someone who so BADLY wanted to be seen when he was that age? Buck has been where Liana is here - he begged and begged for his parents to see him and they never did. Instead of him running away physically, he did it mentally. And then he tried to do it in body and soul by attempting suicide.

“You think I purposely pushed my daughter to run away?”

“I think you’re telling yourself that it’s everyone else’s fault but your own.” He corrected. “I think it’s easier for you to sit here and take out all of your anger about everything that’s gone wrong in your life on your brother than it is to accept responsibility.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I think you spend more time comparing your child to ours than you do accepting her for who she is regardless of flaws.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think there have been signs staring you in the face that something was going to happen for years and you just ignored them.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I think you’re incredibly lucky that Liana decided to physically run away rather than do anything far worse.”

“She wouldn’t .”

“We both know that’s not true.”

And then there's! There's this! And this is huge! For more than just because someone is finally confronting Adriana but because this shows SO MUCH how Buck has grown over the series. He went from not even TALKING about his attempt unless it was on the surface to outright telling Adriana what he needed when he was that age. The signs Buck’s talking about were there with him too, and just like Liana, they were ignored until they couldn't be anymore.

"That's exactly what you're saying. I'm doing such a bad job and obviously my daughter isn't just acting out -." 

"It's never just acting out ." 

"And she's not just trying to drive me crazy -." 

"No kid wants to be fighting with their parents all the time." 

"Please, you tell me, with all two years of your experience what it is that I'm doing wrong." 

"You're not listening ." 

"Oh, I listen, alright. I listen every single time Liana screams at me and tells me I'm a horrible mother. As if I haven't given up everything for her and her brother! Like I didn't put my dreams aside when I had her at sixteen -." 

"She didn't ask to be born!" 

"Well, I didn't ask to be her mom!" 

"But you consciously made that decision!" 

"I was sixteen!" 

"You are thirty-four!" 

I'm going to be honest here, this was ALL ME. This was everything I wanted to scream at my own mother over and over again until she understood. There is only so much that you can use your own trauma as an excuse. Adriana was a child with a child, just like my mother was a child going through some terrible life experiences, it was not Liana's fault (just as it wasn't mine) that she was born. It's not her fault that her mother is incapable of offering her the same sympathy and understanding. she wanted when she was her age. And it also does still directly parallel Buck’s own story growing up - he didn't ask to take Daniel's spot. He didn't ask his parents not to mourn. He just asked to be loved.

"You know what? This is about Eddie."

"Not everything -."

"I don't know what your parents did to you guys growing up to make you think there's this… this… this competition between you two but this is affecting your kids ."

"That's not what's happening -."

"If you're not careful with how you step you are going to lose your daughter, okay? You're right, I don't have any idea what you've been through but I do know what she's been through. I know what it's like to be the kid that your parents very obviously never wanted."

"I want my daughter -."

"You just said you didn't."

"You're misunderstanding me!"

"No, you just can't make up your mind!" He tossed up his hands in frustration. "Listen, if I can't wrap my head around it how can you expect her to? If all she hears is everything you've given up in order for her to survive, how is she ever going to be able to trust that?"

"I love her."

"Adriana, this isn't love!" He wanted to beg her to understand. There was so much Evan would give for someone to have told his parents this, to have woken them up with harsh words when he needed it most. But no one had, as far as he knew, and he had been left to deal with it all alone. "You know what it's like to be the kid that's not the favorite. I know you do." Her eyes flickered to his and then down at knees, her lips pursed and fingers picking at a thread in her pajama pants. "Don't you remember being fifteen? Seeing how your parents looked at Eddie and wondering what you did wrong ?"

Sharply, Adriana looked back up at him. "You don't…"

"It took twenty- eight years for me to figure out why my parents acted like I ruined their life by being born. Another year after that to learn that that's not my fault ." He shrugged. "And not to even think about what that did to my sister to know she's the favorite because she was the one they planned ."

"That…" Adriana trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. She licked her lips and rubbed a hand through her hair.

"It's not my fault for how I was raised any more than it's Liana’s."

"That's not fair ."

"Life isn't fair, Adriana. I'm sorry you had to live in Eddie's shadow, okay? And I'm… I'm sorry your parents won't ever apologize for that. But you're an adult now. Liana’s a kid, " he was pleading, if that could be it. Begging her to understand something he had tried for years to get his parents to see. "It's not up to her to put in the work, okay? Being a parent… I think it means putting in all the work yourself so that your kids aren't stuck doing all the hard stuff by themselves, right?" He licked his lips, drumming on his knee nervously with his fingers. "It matters what's going on with you and Eddie."

The amount of times I was told that love meant being in pain... that love meant giving up parts of myself to keep the peace... it made this whole conversation so visceral to write. Buck screaming that "this isn't love" was something I remember thinking myself when my mother made me feel so terrible about myself that I turned to harm. Love isn't meant to make your children turn inwards instead of turning to you and this was a very important lesson that Adriana had to learn and no one was bothering to tell her. No one is at fault for how they were raised here, not Adriana or Eddie or Buck, but there does reach a point where you have to start working on yourself in order to make sure your children don't get stuck in the mess.

This is so long and I could go on and on about this series forever xhsisjnsns.