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#it was on sale I HAD to get it now you feel???
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It feels like hope.
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Pairing: Hot Priest!Joel Miller x f!reader, no outbreak
Words count: 5700
Rating: Strictly +18, MINORS DON’T INTERACT
Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, priest kink, catholic guilt, religious kink, smut, unprotected p in v (use protections IRL!), reader has breasts and vagina and hair that can be pulled and wears a shirt and a skirt, apart from that no other description is given, age is not mentioned but they’re both grown up adults and reader is only inexperienced because she grew up in a very catholic family, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), sex in a rectory, hair pulling, blasphemy all over the place 💀, pussy pronouns she/her, drinking, two hits on nipples, improper use of liturgical objects, cream pie, pet names (angel, baby), reader calls him "Father" during sex, mention of hell, mention of porn videos, mention of masturbation, improper use of prayers, God named in vain, another thing that I won’t spoil... listen, this thing is filthy, probably the filthiest more immoral thing I've ever wrote, ok? If you think you can't handle it just scroll down to another story.
This is a revised version of something I had already posted and then deleted because I personally didn't like it.
It took me months to come to an end with it, I don’t know why, I’ve changed a lot of things, I’ve changed the pov, I’ve changed dynamics etc… I really really hope you will enjoy it and please be gentle with me, I really tried hard even if you would think it’s no good.
English is not my first language and I have no beta so any mistake is all my fault, I’m sorry.
Title is a Fleabag quote, specifically from our beloved hot priest “when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope”
Thanks to everyone who has shown interest in this story, thanks to those who were there from the beginning (you know who you are and I love you) and thanks to anyone who will read 🩷
(Just added a brief note at the end 😉)
It all started on a Sunday. 
You came to your neighborhood church expecting a nice function and you exited knowing you were doomed. 
That Sunday you met the new parish priest.
From the first moment you felt like something in you was compromised. 
You couldn't even explain it to yourself and you had never felt like this, it was something so unfamiliar. 
A need you’ve never felt before.
Your eyes glued to his holy form, adoring his raven curly hair, his scruff, the curve of his neck, his strong nose, plump lips, broad shoulders, thick thighs, big hands.
Courteous and kind as he greeted parishioners leaving the church, he shook your hand and you felt a jolt.
You weren’t like this before, you did things to do good to others before. But now…
Volunteering for every event, clothing drive, bake sale, children's shows. You were always there for the ride. Making excuses to talk to him.
Wondering if he had any more freckles than the ones on his neck, how warm his skin would be, how manly and intoxicating his scent would be, what his kisses would taste like, what his fingers would have felt like inside your cunt, peeking at the outline of his cock under his black pants.
A perfect Christian girl who would have make your mother proud on the outside, a raging hell of arousal on the inside.
You couldn’t believe that he was him who had awakened this new person inside you, insanely hungry, wanting, needing to taste, lick, bite. 
His low gruff voice grueling from his chest echoed against your damp inner walls so much that you were almost afraid to get up after the mass and see a stain where you were seated.
It was more and more difficult every time to fight your urge, stay on the tracks of life that you were taught to live, no sex before marriage, no masturbation because it’s a sin, no impure thoughts because you were a good girl.
Yet now you could hear them, all those voices crowding your head, pushing you towards something you had been taught was wrong.
Entering the church you were trembling, guilt pulsing in your gut.
Everything was quiet and serene, your eyes wandered on the frescoed walls, the organ, the large altar and the wooden benches neatly lined up in rows in the central nave, your steps sounded uncertain and timid on the marble floor.
You entered the confessional feeling your heart beating wildly in your chest, palms sweating and your mouth dry.
You could hear his breathing through the grate.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned” 
The following silence weighed like never before.
“Open your heart to the Lord so He can forgive your sins”
And you had confessed. 
The words slipped from your mouth like pearls from a broken necklace, finally rolling free between your lips revealing your every sordid thought.
The girl shaped by catholic parents to be a modest virgin, mother and maid, perfect smile and delicate manners was in reality a shameful bundle of filth.
You were a sinner.
A sinner eaten out from dirty thoughts.
You told him how you couldn't stop thinking about him, how you had questioned your feelings and who you were as a person, how you hadn't spent a night without touching yourself thinking about him in many months.
You told him about your desire to kiss him and more. So much more. Everything.
Every single time you lowered your hand in your panties, every single time you squeezed your breasts, driven by instinct and desire, every single time you thought of him as Joel. Just Joel, a man.
You just wanted to let go of the weight on your chest, coming clean. If you said it all out loud you would have realized how crazy it was.
You heard the door snapping, a few heavy steps close to where you were seated, the door opening to your side.  
Suddenly he was there, standing in front of you.
He said nothing, only grabbed your arm, dragging you to the rectory.
Dust in the air danced beneath the soft light that came in from two small windows high up.
There wasn't much in the room, a cupboard where liturgical objects were kept, a table, a wardrobe where the clothes for the service were hung.
Nobody was there except the two of you, you could hear the rumble of his breathing and your heart drumming behind your rib cage.
He was staring at you. 
Your mouth sealed, a lump in your stomach.
You thought about the day he tried to teach you how to play guitar.
You were here, together, helping with the Christmas party. He was sitting strumming when you walked in, you tried not to surprise him from behind by pretending to cough and he turned to you. He didn’t stop playing as he greeted you, you told him “I didn’t know you played” and he invited you to try. As you sat down your legs were shaking, he gave you the guitar and you just stared at it, fingers uncertain and mind empty. 
“It’s not that hard” he told you and he leaned over you taking one of your hands in his and placing it on the neck of the guitar, moving your fingers over the strings “like this. Now play”
You strummed on the guitar and an unpleasant sound came out, you both laughed softly at your clumsiness and a flood of pleasure slicked your panties.
His breath on you was like a caress, you felt the minty scent grazing at your nostrils.
For a moment, just for a moment you thought, “I could turn around right now and kiss him. A few inches and my lips would be on his.”
Your desire flowed before your eyes, leaving you with nothing else to look at.
“But I can’t. I can’t.” 
You've tried to swat away that sinful thought with another strum on the guitar but nothing disappeared, instead it burned in your core even strongly than before.
You thought about that day when the rain caught you on your way to set up the bake sale, how you walked into the rectory soaked from head to toe, how he looked at your shirt stuck to your skin that left little to the imagination, how you instinctively covered yourself when you just wanted to let your arms hang at your sides and let him look at you. You saw a reaction in his eyes as he mumbled that he was going to get you a towel, just a moment before he regained his composure, and it was enough. You knew that he was not indifferent to you. That night you touched yourself imagining what it would be like if he took your shirt off, if he placed his lips on your neck, his tongue on your breast, his cock inside you.
You started to navigate on porn sites daily, out of curiosity first and then because you needed to see, you needed to imagine, you needed to visualize something so unfamiliar and strange to you. 
You were ashamed, but at the same time you couldn't help it, it was the only resource you could think of looking for and it was there, on your phone, private, no one would have known. You didn't even imagine you would find so many, a whole catalog of big dicks, huge tits, positions that your brain couldn't conceive.
Seeing those women pleasuring themselves scared you but at the same time attracted you, you wanted to be like them, you wanted to reach that pleasure, you wanted to try their way of using their hands, you wanted to refine your clumsy way of reaching that heat between your legs.
You sinked into it.
If your parents had known, if your community had known, you would have been branded an unworthy woman, a pervert, a slut.
But your parents were far away now, your whole life was somewhere else and you were proud to have freed yourself from the golden cage they had locked you in. You were an adult now, it was the moment to choose for yourself. If they hadn’t always denied you any other vision of the world, if they hadn’t forbidden you to have the experiences that everyone has in their youth, maybe it wouldn’t have happened this way.
His mouth was a thin line, tensed, you looked into his eyes and you saw nothing than dark.
So much different from the gentle detachment he had always shown to everyone, his look was a mixture of concern, agitation, maybe a hint of fear, but most of all - to your great surprise - sexual arousal.
You could see him cracking behind those eyes, you could feel his mind filling with all sorts of questions.
His voice was barely a whisper but sharp as a blade when he finally spoke “Are you even honest with that ‘I am a good christian’ thing? Say the truth”
You hesitated, the uneasiest bitter taste in your mouth.
“I-” your throat felt like atrophied “yes” you tried to say.
“No, you’re not. The least you could do is being fucking honest with Him” he raised his finger pointing it at the ceiling.
You’ve never heard him cursing before.
You looked down feeling the weight of your stomach turn to lead and then concrete and if you thought you were free now you felt even more guilty. 
You said the only thing your brain could think of at that moment and you knew what you were asking for, you knew what it would do to him and you knew that in this way you would drag him down with you. And yet you did it anyway, because desire was stronger than anything, than faith, than lies, than truth.
“I need-I need to repent. Teach me” you pleaded “teach me how to be good”
Something lit up in his gaze, like a spark of hell, a glow of lust.
He turned around and you hungrily followed his every move.
His hands moving expertly, the cupboard opening, him taking out the mass wine and pouring it into a chalice.
You saw him down the entire glass, without hesitation, without a shred of tremor.
You felt like you were watching a hurricane approaching, just waiting for the wind to suck you in without being able to do anything else.
You wanted it. You wanted it to sweep you away, to make you someone else, braver, indomitable, someone who wasn’t afraid to say what she wanted because of a belief that had been instilled in her, someone who was simply herself. 
We are all born with guilt, you told yourself. I am tired, tired of dealing with mine so much.
You just wanted to feel alive, to feel something authentic and fierce, no half measures. 
You wanted to be desired in a way that felt relentless and desperate, like air that is necessary to keep humans alive, something unique and undeniable.
Could Joel read it in your eyes? He was so good at reading people, you could tell it right away. 
He had guessed a lot about you, he had noticed how coffee was a weakness of yours - and his - and he offered you a cup first thing in every meeting.
He had noticed how nervous Danny, a parishioner who liked to play the fool with any woman present, most often in front of his wife, got you and made sure to never leave you alone with him.
He had noticed how much you enjoyed sewing and had assigned you the costumes for the play and praised your work. 
And he did the same with the guitar that day when he saw how enthusiast and curious you were about it. He didn't say it openly, but his gestures spoke for him.
He came closer to you again, bending the chalice to your mouth and said “drink”. Sharp, cold, an order.
At that point you didn’t care it was something you were not supposed to do, forbidden, maybe unholy even, you just drank. 
You were dealing with a part of yourself that always existed but you had put that in a box.
Joel looked into your eyes sternly and said: “Show me the good Christian that you think you are. Pray.”
“What?”
“Pray. Right now” 
“What prayer?” You asked, confused.
“You're not starting off well, you should know that.” He smirked, caught you in fail.
“Act of contrition” you whispered and he nodded “yes. That’s right.”
He was just inches away from you, his crucifix hanging between your bodies, grazing at your stomach. 
You began to recite in a low voice, stumbling over your words, your brain couldn’t think straight:
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest… all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offended Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving all my love.”
You said it dozen of times before and yet it seemed totally different in that moment. 
Joel took off his rosary, letting it dangle from his hand and swing across your chest. Beads brushed against the cotton bra you wore under your blouse, making your nipples harden, you could feel them pushing against the fabric.
“Go on”
“I- I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen”
“Take off your shirt,” he told you in a whisper.
Something shifted inside him “and your bra”
His voice was no longer the same, it came from deep within him, frighteningly authoritarian but to you it seemed like a magic instrument that was hypnotizing you.
You did what he told you. 
You were half naked in front of a man for the first time. It could have happened before, much before, but of course you couldn’t because you never got married. No one was supposed to see your body except the man you were going to take to the altar. That’s what they taught you.
Joel looked at you, entranced, almost in disbelief. You wondered how long it had been since he’d seen someone else’s naked body, what effect it had on him. 
You were more alike than you seemed, both of you denied something because of religion. 
You were both more needy and frustrated than you were allowed to admit. Tension hung in the air like a fog that clouded both of your gazes.
Every time you had talked to him you had noticed the way he looked at you but you thought it was all in your head, like you were a poor naive girl who was building castles in the air, but now you knew that wasn't the case.
It was another thing you shouldn’t have done but you prayed deep down that he wouldn’t decide to stop.
He raised his arm, clutching his rosary. You felt a slash through the air and then a sharp smack on your nipple.
You looked down shocked as the pain quickly turned into a dull pleasure rising from the pit of your tummy, to fade more and more, becoming a tingling sensation.
You liked it.
You wanted more.
He did the same at your other breast and all the breath you had left in your body had slipped past your lips in a lustful sob.
He took one of your nipples between his fingers, twisting and pinching it and you couldn’t help but moan. A sound you never made for no one and you made it first for a priest.
His body pushed you against the wall, his breath on your neck, his fingers didn't stop torturing your nipple. Everything you saw was red. Red like the passion you had never felt before, red like the blood that pulsed in your veins, red like sin.
“Kneel” he said firmly.
You were equal parts scared of making a fool of yourself and eager to try.
You knelt down, feeling the cold of the floor touch your shins. 
His eyes were as uncertain as yours, it was new territory for both of you but you saw a flame burning in him and you felt it inside you. 
His face was serious, tense, as if he was ashamed of what he was doing but couldn't contain. 
He was punishing you and punishing himself at the same time.
You weren’t afraid though, you were ready to face what was eating you up and you trusted Joel for some reason. You could see in him that he wouldn’t hurt you. At least not more than you wanted.
Your tentative fingers undid his pants, letting them sag around his ankles. A pronounced erection protruded from his boxers as his eyes almost begged you, they weren’t cruel and ruthless eyes, but rather needy and guilty.
You moved your hand closer to his crotch, hesitating for a moment before placing it there, testing the sensation, opening your fingers around it to realize how thick it was. You could feel the heat through the fabric. You caressed it, feeling the tremor that shook Joel's body. Your eyes couldn't tear themselves away, it was the first time you had seen one in person, you were amazed and attracted. You continued to caress him until you heard a grunt leave Joel’s lips and a stain wet the front of his boxers. You were struck by how much he was growing under your hand and the smell, like musk, pungent but not unpleasant.
You remembered the videos you had seen, how women did it, looking into the men's eyes lustfully, with a confidence and naturalness you had never acquired. You wanted to be like them, but you were afraid of being ridiculous or grotesque.
You slowly pulled down his boxers, gasping at the sight of his cock springing free. 
Joel had his eyes fixed on you, they were encouraging somehow, he made you feel safe but the trembling of your fingers did not stop. You took his shaft in your hand again and were surprised at how soft his skin was there, velvety. You watched that thin layer of skin retract as you moved your hand up and down like you had seen in the videos, it felt incredible. It was heavy, hot and throbbing. It was uncut. His big balls hanging right under. You ran your thumb over the tip, collecting the pre-cum that was leaking, spreading it around.
Joel was quiet, he let you do it.
He was touch starving, just like you.
You lowered your head and licked him, just with the tip of your tongue. A timid lick, like a kitten.
His taste, matching the musky scent you could smell, invaded your mouth in an instant. You had never tasted anything like it. You braced yourself, while Joel waited, and licked once more, this time starting at the base and working your way up.
Joel groaned.
You pulled away, looking into his eyes, he brought a hand to your cheek and then to your chin and took it in his palm. 
“You are so beautiful” he whispered.
And you felt beautiful, you felt like someone was really seeing you for the first time. And you loved that that someone was him.
You took a deep breath and lowered your head onto his cock, you knew you couldn't fit it all in your mouth, but you wanted to take as much as you could.
“Don’t force yourself” Joel murmured as your lips touched his skin, causing another whine.
“I want to do it” you replied resolutely, you were loving hearing him whimper beneath you.
His length slid across your tongue, wet and salty, your lips closing around it.
You closed your eyes and focused on that feeling, just holding it there, nestled inside.
“Suck it,” Joel commanded gently, bringing a hand into your hair and twining his fingers there.
You were unsure how to do it, you tried to suck it in as if you were using a large straw, with all the breath you had.
Joel flinched, almost losing his balance “Easy, baby” he muttered
You pulled away again, eyes widened “oh my god, I’m sorry” almost afraid of having hurt him but he immediately reassured you "no it's okay, just... go slower, go slower if you don't want me to come right away”
“Uh- okay” responding timidly to the smile that was spreading across his face.
You began to suck again more calmly, holding the base tightly with your hand, feeling it pulsate between your fingers and on your tongue.
It was an addictive sensation, spreading through your synapses like a drug.
Obviously you had never tried any drugs, but you imagined that the sensation might be similar to something like that.
Joel still held your head, his grip tightening as you continued, you could feel his body tense and respond, and you liked it. You liked it more than you ever liked putting on your Sunday best and going to say prayers with your parents like you always had.
There was actually a prayer that was ringing in your head and it was Joel's, who softly repeated "just like that, you're being so good to me”
It was exhilarating.
You felt like you had a true gift, for once in your life.
An obscene gift, but still.
You had the courage to run from your mom and dad and then at what felt like a minute later you found yourself there, naked from waist up, on your knees, sucking a priest cock.
You’ve never felt more alive.
Deep down you were exactly that person there, not a whore like everyone you knew would say. Just a woman, a woman who wanted what other women wanted. Sex, pleasure, being important to someone or just not being condemned to do what others wanted for you.
You continued to suck as Joel's breathing became heavier and more labored.
At that point he was just uttering disconnected phrases like “oh my God” and “Yes, go on”, his voice hoarse and scratchy.
Suddenly he started shaking violently, almost falling, as something warm and sticky hit your throat. You knew what it was and you were eager to swallow, as you had seen done in so many videos.
A little of it slipped from your lips, down your chin, onto your neck.
Joel's hand was still in your hair, it almost hurt but it was a delicious pain that you were enduring, a small punishment for the rush of adrenaline and excitement that was coursing through you.
You kept holding his cock in your mouth until you felt it relax.
“Get up,” Joel said gently, still out of breath, as he was fixing his boxers and pants.
Your knees almost gave out, you leaned against the wall feeling wetness on your panties.
Joel came closer to you, placing a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a deep kiss that left you stunned for a second and then you were more than happy to reciprocate. His tongue in your mouth explored feverishly, you wondered if he could taste himself from your lips.
He pulled out saying “I’ve never done anything like this before” and you replied “me neither.” 
And then he was on your lips again, nibbling at your lower one, placing his hand on your thigh, raising it under your skirt, up to your drenched panties, grazing them with his fingers.
You squirmed, moaning a “yes, please” from down your throat, a tingle spreading on your outer lips, in your tummy, up to your chest.
He put his hand inside your panties, brushing your skin.
“What should I do with you?” He asked, in an almost desperate tone, as if he knew he couldn't stop and was asking permission not to.
“Make me come” you pleaded “Please.”
He sighed, pulling your panties aside and sliding his index and middle fingers between your folds, gathering your wetness up to your clit, starting circling it as you writhed. 
It was different than when you did it yourself, his fingers bigger and stronger, his touch a little clumsy but still effective and intoxicating.
His mouth landed on your neck, stifling a moan, sucking a hickey where it joined your shoulders, nibbling hungrily at your skin.
“Have you ever done this before?” 
“Just…me” 
He smirked “have you ever put your fingers inside you?” 
“I- yes.” there were no point on beating around the bush, you told him that you touched yourself thinking about him. You were already deep down into that dizzy. 
“Put your fingers in me” you added immediately “I want to feel them, please Joel, I want to know what they can do to me” 
“You sure?” 
“Yes, yes.” You breathed.
He prodded at your entrance,  just a little bit, making you whine just with his fingers tip.
The rosary lay abandoned on the floor, you could see it out of the corner of your eye and you didn't care about that eyewitness symbol of what was happening between you two.
You would have liked him to put it around your neck while he fucked you, fully participating in that sinful act. 
You were surprised yourself at what you were thinking but somehow it made you even more eager.
You felt two of his fingers sink inside you, filling that void that you had never been able to fill enough on your own, stretching you. 
It hurts a little at first because they were bigger than yours, but then it was more heavenly than anything else. If you were made for anything, it was to be there in that moment.
Joel looked ecstatic “God, she’s so… wet” he whispered “and warm” His face was the representation of pleasure, lips slightly parted, his eyes wide, his pupils dilated, his heavy breathing blowing on your neck.
He began to move his fingers inside you rhythmically, each thrust making you shake and sob, a litany of “yes” coming out strangled from your mouth.
He went slowly, taking his time, as if he was savoring every second of your pussy tightening around his fingers.
He placed his other hand on your breast again, cupping and squeezing and then twisting your nipple. Big hand full of your tit.
It was beautiful. You didn’t know how or why people could deny themselves that, but you certainly wouldn’t do it again, not after having Joel inside you. He curled his fingers, looking for the right way to make you feel the pleasure you wanted, the one you kept asking for.
“You like that, baby?” He asked with an hopeful tone
“It feels so good, so good” you told him, clinging to his neck, digging your nails into his soft skin as you felt like you were losing your mind. You didn't care about losing it, your mind had ruled your life for so, so long.
“Please don’t stop” you murmured, tightening your other hand on his wrist, guiding him “don't stop”
You felt your essence slowly leaking out of you, spreading over Joel's fingers and your outer lips, you had never been so soaked, never so much as under Joel's touch.
Your eyes suddenly fixed on that little piece of white cloth that was around his neck, that little piece that made all the difference in the world and made what you were doing terribly wrong in the eyes of others and God and Joel kissed you again like a man deprived and starved, his lips trembling and dramatic, asking silently for more and more, like they were drinking from yours.
He was all over you, like a sailor through a  violent storm, he clung to whatever he could, as if it were a matter of life and death. 
Tasting him like this, the smell of his skin, his warmth, his clerical clothes rubbing against your half-naked body, made your head spin.
You moved your hand onto his collar, grasping it with your fingers, pulling it, until it came undone, you squeezed it as you came copiously, repeating Joel's name and God's, cutting off your moans, abandoning your head on Joel's shoulder.
It was all too much and yet not enough, you wished it would never end. Joel held you tight, one hand moving behind your back, as his fingers continued to sink into you. The blinding pleasure that had invaded every fiber of your body was raging like hell’s flames inside you, like a sinful but also purifying fire, wrong and right, heavenly and hellish.
And then it slowly faded, giving way to a sense of satisfaction that had never belonged to you.
You could feel his erection pressing against your thigh, hard and demanding again.
Joel grunted, pulling his fingers out of you, taking them to his lips, gathering your juices with his tongue.
“I want… I want your cock, Father” you whispered, at that point you felt greedy, delirious, drunk on sex.
His eyes widened, being called “Father” was making him even more aroused and dizzy.
You grabbed his balls from above his pants, holding your hand tightly on them “please, Joel”.
If you were going to Hell for this, you might as well go all the way.
Joel pushed you against the table on the other side of the room, making you sit on it, unzipped his pants again, pulling out his cock without hesitation, as if he had finally accepted his fate.
His fingers were big but his cock… you wondered how it would all fit inside you.
“I’ll go slowly” Joel reassured you “It will fit” he said, brushing your folds with the tip, aligning his cock with your entrance, as if he had guessed your thoughts. His eyes were blacker than ever as he prodded his shaft past through your lips.
It felt overwhelming, so big and pulsing, it hurt but you almost immediately felt a fullness that you had never felt and a sense of belonging, your pussy opened like a bud, widening and molding for him.
If you were made for anything, it was to be there in that moment.
“She’s tight, so damn tight” Joel gawked “fuck” 
You whimpered, looking at his face, so serious, pleasure written all over it and you felt like it was right, it had to be right if it was that good.
“Make me yours, Father, make me good” you pleaded. 
Joel growled as he slid in and out of you, slamming against your walls, your pussy making obscene squelching sounds every time he moved, dripping all over his cock and the table.
It didn’t even seem embarrassing to you to be so inexperienced, you both were. You didn’t know if Joel had had sex before but you guessed he hadn’t had it in a long time anyway. 
You didn't know if it was the way it was supposed to be but you felt like it was natural, not like in the videos you'd seen which were probably mostly choreographed to please the eye.
It was sex. Pure and simple. Urgent, hungry, even uncontrolled.
And the way your body reacted, melting like wax under Joel's hands, arching into his touch, bending to his will, and seeking all the friction you could get, told you that this was the right way for you.
“See?” Joel mumbled “You’re taking me so well, baby, a perfect angel for me”
You twisted your legs behind his back, pushing him against you as much as you could, kissing the exposed skin on his neck. It drove you crazy that he was still dressed, you wanted to rip off his shirt and run your hands down on him, feel his warm skin on yours so you did it. You placed your hands on both sides and you just popped every button, revealing his broad chest, feeding your eyes with every single detail and your fingers with every shape and curve.
“Never had a cock inside before but that pussy is made for mine, I swear to God she is” he started desperately rutting into you, deeper strokes every time, taking God’s name in vain, murmuring some prayers while he pounded into you. You could feel his big vein brushing at your walls, his big mushroom hammering your cervix, the most intense rapture you’ve ever felt.
He pulled at your hair, forcing you to look him in the eye, murmuring “that’s what you wanted, huh? Dragging me to hell with you?”
Your eyes filled with tears at the thought. It was true, somehow you corrupted him, but you were willing to face that just to feel something so strong. You weren’t sure about him though.
But again, he was there, right there with you, with his cock inside your cunt and you didn’t force any of it, he could say no, he could stop, but he choose the sin. Now blaming you wasn’t so saintly nor kind, but you understood why he did that. He needed to blame someone other than himself, and you were there, open arm taking the weight for him.
Your ass slid back and forth on the wood of the table with each thrust, one of his hands was on your nipple again while the other held you behind your back. He then moved to your clit, applying pressure on it, circling it with two fingers.
You looked down only to see his cock sinking between your lips, his balls bouncing and the bush of hair that adorned his groin glistening with your juices.
You could smell the sex in the air, your mingling scents becoming one, your pleasure merging and becoming one as he shot huge spurts of cum into you.
He muttered a prayer, asking God for forgiveness, his voice exhausted, hoarse, broken by orgasm.
And then you woke up.
Your room was quiet, the crucifix that your mom gave you hanging on the wall behind your bed.
It took a few seconds for your sleepy, blurry gaze to settle on it, you were sweaty and shocked.
You closed your eyes, shutting them and cursing under your breath. 
You unrolled your body from the sheets and then stood up and picked up the crucifix. Your days as a good, God-fearing girl were over.
A/n: if you don't know what is dream and what is reality in the story at this point, that's what I wanted, I hope it's not too confusing but I wanted to try something new. I hope you liked it and thanks for your time 🩷
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gay-dorito-dust · 1 day
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Hello ! Just so Agatha all along and I have a request if it's ok 😊
How Agatha will convince witch!reader who has a crush on her to join her in the witch road 👉👈
Gn reader if possible
Thank you ! 😁
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Agatha would probably be aware of your feelings in all honesty, and she couldn’t blame you! She’s amazing!
However she’s probably use this infatuation with her to her advantage when her and ‘teen’ come over to your home, following the trail of magic that drew them there. It was noticeable, stronger the other witches she’s recruited but still there was room for growth and new powers.
‘What tricks are we going to have to use to recruit this witch/wiccan?’ Teen asked Agatha as they stood on your doorstep.
‘No tricks, this one’s got a little thing for me, it’s adorable but it means that most of the work in convincing them has been cut out for us.’ Agatha replied as she went to knock on the door, only for it to open on its own to reveal you on the other side.
‘How did?’ Teen questioned.
‘I could sense you the moment you drove into the driveway, your magic is far more potent than others.’ You answered as you stepped to one side with a welcoming smile. ‘Want to step inside and continue this conversation because I don’t think the neighbours will want to hear about the sales pitch you’re bound to give me into joining your cult.’ You add.
‘It’s not a cult it’s a coven.’ Teen interrupts but you weren’t listening when Agatha moved past you, making sure to brush her hand against the back of yours as she does, and immediately you felt your resolve to stand your ground crumble like a deck of cards. It must’ve been obvious as teen only looked at you knowingly as he past into your house and once they were both inside, you shut the door harder then you should’ve but at this point you wanted this to be over with.
‘Go on then, convince me to join you on your journey to the witches’ road.’ You crossed your arms over your chest.
‘I’m assuming you’re more than aware of the fact that if you were to make it to the end of the road, any wish your heart desires can be granted.’ Agatha started.
‘I do know this factoid, yes.’ You said and Agatha crept closer to you until you were a hair’s width away from one another as she now spoke lowly. ‘Then I’m also lead to assume that you know that extends to crushes, infatuations, all that important stuff also.’
‘Yes but I’d much rather the feeling to be mutual without the usage of magic, as ironic as that sounds.’ You replied as you stared deeply into her beautiful eyes.
‘And it can be,’ Agatha whispered as she grasped your hands with her own, intertwining your fingers, ‘I really need you by my side y/n as my moral support, my confidant and my strength during the most difficult situations that we’ll face.’ Agatha could see that you were buying her sales pitch into getting you on the witches road, but knew she couldn’t stop there and decided to make this visit short and sweet she adds.
‘I wouldn’t want anyone else to join me on the witches’ road other then you my dear, you have the potential to be the most powerful witch/wiccan in our coven. All those other witches can barely hold a candle to your fire. I need you.’ She finishes and teen had to give it to Agatha, she was certainly an actress when she needed to be as he watched you both as though he was watching his favourite drama.
You were at war with yourself. You swore that you wouldn’t resort to magic for even the most simplest things, never less the witches’s road, you knew the stories of how dangerous it was but your infatuation with Agatha tended to lead you into doing something stupid; even agreeing to going on the Witches’ road with nothing but the hope that Agatha might actually see you for once.
However before you could reason with yourself, your mouth moved faster then your brain could intervene with logic and common sense. ‘Fine, I’ll join.’
‘Yes!’ Agatha and teen cried as Agatha brought you into her arms, holding you tight so that you didn’t see the smirk across her face, that wasn’t so hard if anything it was barely even took her five minutes to get you to say yes; she didn’t understand why she didn’t come to you first just to get it over and done with, every other witch before you was a tougher nut to crack then the last. You were merely the reward for a hard days work.
‘You won’t regret this darling, that I promise you along with power, love and so much more.’ Agatha tells you as she rubs your back.
You poor, idiotic fool, let’s pray you do survive the road and not die with a broken heart when you realise the truth…
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rat-rambles · 2 days
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You know maturing is realizing no Ford wasn't over reacting actually in tale of two stans.
When I first watched it I dint really get how upsetting it really is to have some one you know and trust simplely not belive or care about your dreams and goals. Now I get it it sucks like Ford is into science becuse he loves it and he's passionate about it and stans like that's lame boat life. Like even with out it looking like stan broke Ford's porject stan was being a bit manipulative to Ford trying to talk him out of collage. And Stan is right to feel hurt but there was room for more conversation than boat life or collage. Also it is important to Ford tp change the world positively partly becuse he feels the need to prove he's not just a freak but also becuse he genuinely cares about the world. Like Ford isn't emotionally intelligent but he does want to help people in a way that's core to him and when Stan makes fun of that it's like makeing fun of part of what makes Ford Ford.
Also I'll give Ford they dint have cellphones. Stan was on the run he dint have a house Ford couldn't simply look stan up. The best Ford could have done is tell his mom to tell stan he wanted to talk witch like tenicaly maybe he did. We know stan tried to call Ford once and bailed. Ford dint know stan was homeless if he did he porbaly would have had Stan stay with him ,but as far as Ford would realistically know form what there mom would have told them stan was fine being a traveling sales men and had made zero efort to contact him.
You know with the context of Ford just know stan travels his whole take this book and leave thing isn't *as* unhinged as it first seemed either.
I do still think Ford was a little dramatic about how poorly he took Stans rescue attempt. Stan learned nerd shit to try as save you give the guy some credit.
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southislandwren · 1 year
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Ah my poor decision making skills are rearing their ugly head. Guess who just bought cult of the lamb: cultist edition the day before finals week
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kyeomies · 4 days
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omg not svt related but i managed to get vip tickets for fujii kaze in december….!!!
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thamks
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you after i free you from the tetrisphere
#ask#anon#im not sure what the thanks is for without assuming it to be like ''thanks. for those tags.''#anyway youre welcome? youre free from the tetrisphere now. find and enjoy life. out from the egg made of tetronimoes youve hatched from.#or whatever.#im still recovering from that nap#its fucked. i nap on my bed sometimes if i havent had enough sleep earlier in the day. and instead of using the bed normally#my ass just sleeps at the end. watching my moavies (youtube streams)#like a dog#ended up having to wake myself up cause i had my legs rested over a nearby table cause the width of the bed is not very wide#and my body feels so good when i wake up. scrunched up and shit. i feel So normal#anyway tetrisphere is a game i got long ago that. i dont know from where.#i either got it from a yard sale. or ebay. but im leaning towards yard sale. since it was around the same time i got hey you pikachu#also did you know the mic quality for hey you pikachus microphone is actually pretty decent#anyway i dont remember a lot about tetrisphere beyond you picking a robot to play as. and you drop tetrominoes onto a fucking ball#i completely forgot you freed a thing from within#as for why this was the first thing i used to reply to the ask. anytime i get an ask im not sure how to respond to. i look through my phone#and. this tetrisphere image made me laugh seeing it back when i first downloaded it#i think i had more i wanted to say but im at a loss for words now that im looking at this image again#its so beautiful and hes so free#that is how baby birds leave the egg. but opposite. they do it from the inside. instead of needing tetrominoes to open the egg.#can you tell im still not fully recovered from my fuckim nap#anyway thanks for the ask anon. i think!
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spikeisawesome456 · 5 months
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.
#I might delete this later but I'm feeling a bit disheartened and want to just put this out there into the world but not super publicly#But like#The worst part of being overweight in my opinion is that it's so so hard to feel cute or pretty or even decent looking#I'm going to Japan with my older brother next week and I've been curating a cutesy Lolita-esque style outfit for the trip and I finally#got the last of the pieces so I tried it all on. And it's just... no matter how hard I try I can't really see myself as cute in it#I don't know maybe pink isn't my color and this just isn't my style. But.#I tried really hard to make an outfit I'd feel cute in and it's devastating to not really see myself as cute#And it's not really that I think I look bad per se it's just...#I don't know#Not what I wanted it to be I guess#And I know that if I posted pictures people would say ''wow you look great!!!'' because people always say that kind of thing#But I'd always think they were lying or were playing it up#Even if they really weren't#I just wanted to feel cutesy and everything and it hurts somewhere deep inside to not feel that way#I'll still wear the outfit in Japan since I spent enough time and money on this outfit but it really dampens my enthusiasm#And this wasn't the first time I've tried on the dress obviously. I've been trying it on periodically all along#But I kept hoping that once it was done and I had the makeup all on maybe I'd finally be able to see myself as cute#But no#I still don't. Not really.#It doesn't help that the dress itself doesn't even fit properly#I got it on sale which is what sparked this whole idea in the first place and it was always a size too small#It never zipped properly but I was able to work around that with an outer corset that held it closed#And a lace shrug that helped hide the weird bunching in the back#I can sometimes get the dress zipped now since I've lost a little weight#But it's a struggle and I can only do it about half the time and it feels like I'm going to break the zipper each time#I'd think to buy a new dress but a) that would cost even more money and I've already spent way more than I had wanted in my endeavor#to feel cute in this dress. And b) all of the accessories are tailored to this dress specifically#It would be hard to find a good replacement and there is no guarantee that would even help#So I just... I don't know#It's just hard.
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yellowsubiesdance · 7 months
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i wish i could fully trust myself and say it was a good interview, but i legitimately have no idea
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dailytomlinson · 2 years
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I am waiting for my paycheck to hit my bank so I can order the new digital version, and I've already ordered 2 other versions, thankfully, but I can tell you first hand that IT SUCKS when you can't order something because of finances. My husband is in and out of the hospital monthly, I have an adult daughter with autism, and sometimes I just can't buy things. Yet even when I download something from my dash, I ALWAYS go back and buy it as soon as I can. Your anons are just flat out entitled jerks.
SEEEE
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THIS IS WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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six-of-ravens · 10 months
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well, interesting grocery morning.
all week dad has been warning me that there's Going to Be a Sugar Shortage because the Rogers sugar people are on strike. and I was like, yeah okay dad, sure. sugar is eternal there is so much of it I am NOT worried about finding sugar for baking. It's not like Rogers has a monopoly over all sugar in every grocery store right??
right??
so, anyway. on thursday when I went to get my prescription I picked up a big 4kg bag of white sugar just to humour him, because he's worried we won't have enough sugar for Christmas baking (which is being done next weekend so we can send cookies to my grandma. will it take 4 weeks for cookies to be shipped to Manitoba? absolutely not. but try telling him that.). however. I forgot. brown sugar.
so this morning I ended up going to 3 different stores looking for brown sugar. then in the parking lot of store #3 I went ALL THE WAY BACK TO 2020 IN MY CAMERA ROLL and found the photos I took of our usual recipes (well, 2/3 of them). and they don't. even use. brown sugar. so, all I have to do is a) make sure our 3rd recipe does not need brown sugar, and b) ensure we don't pick any new recipes that need it.
SIGH.
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lizeon · 1 year
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after once again months of not checking my email every day like i used to, i have gone through almost all them! now it's down to just..... *checks number* 1,154 of what gmail decided goes into the 'updates' category :')
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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[numbers under the cut just for my own reference]
lol i went for the world's shortest run at the world's slowest pace* but like. considering it's been literal years i feel good? or, you know, maybe not 'good,' but like. satisfied or whatever. pleased my bribing myself worked. now i just have to do it again infinity more times! how exciting…
⸻ *like a mile and a half-ish and it took me like. 15 minutes lmao. baby div i rower!K is extremely Not Impressed but like. fuck her, sometimes you gotta lower yr standards and just. keep trudging.
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gojoest · 1 year
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had beef with one of my coworkers today 😍
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What’s the moment in Yakuza that made you go “I’m In.” As in the moment that made you obsessed.
there wasnt ever really one Singular moment that made me go 'ok im obsessed now', it just kinda gradually happened and now here we are almost a year later
#snap chats#it'll be a whole year on wednesday heugh heugh#i really couldnt tell you what it was tho. i guess after i beat y0?#because i remember beating y0 and thinking 'wow this was a great game i wanna see the rest' and wanting to play yk1#i was really depressed that week and i saw the rest of the series was Practically on sale so i was like 'fuck it why not'#that was a good day though. i was still pretty gloomy but it was nice just snacking on pizza i got and playing yk1#i felt like a proper kid for once. even though i was 20 ☠️ but i never got that exp growing up so w/e#god thats so weird though that was a year ago at this point... it doesnt even feel like its been a year#i started y0 years ago but stopped after lee died ☠️ i remember telling myself i really wanted to finish the game but it just didnt happen#well. now it has happened LMAO so glad i finally finished it#its always a coin flip whenever i get into series tbh#ill either love it and become wholly obsessed with it and make a blog for it#or i'll just love it quietly there really is no in between#i had a moment like that with Y7 tho. it was the second ichi started talkin bout dq </3#'snap i thought you said that was the moment you fell in love with ichi' ok and. it was both. loving ichi means loving y7#my initial reactions to y7 are soemthin ill always cherish like of course ive always been invested in the games and the plot#but y7 felt like the first time i was REALLY invested and i was eager to keep playing#not saying the other games /werent/ interesting ofc but like. with y7 it as just different#also because y7 was the first and only rgg game i showed my friend (we only got to chapter 2 before she just. stopped acting like i existed#plus before she went home we were driving to get sushi and i was just asking her how she felt bout the game so far#and yk she gave reasonable answers and even started theorizing (she was totally right about arakawa not actually trying to kill ichi)#but then we just sat in my car in silence for a sec before i was just like '..so what'd you think bout jo' because im Not Subtle#and she was really on my same bullshit wavelength immediately and we just spent the rest of the car ride talking about him LVKJAELKJ#i was so glad she ALSO 'Really Liked Him' frame one vVLKAV#its always funny whenever we find the same characters attractive like. it happened once in a blue moon cause our tastes are Just Different#but when we would agree it was the funniest shit we were such goons- I REMEMBER WE MADE A HOT-OR-NOT TIER LIST ONCE LVKJVKLA#we're so unserious about it because generally we just. Arent attracted to people that much so when it does happen Lmao#i miss it. i miss having a friend to play games with.. i miss having a friend to hang out with in general tbh i miss being silly (;´д`)#IVE RAMBLED ON SO LONG SORRY IM RUNNING OUT OF TAGS but yeah. there's That answer
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dexaroth · 2 years
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i know its unrealistic and nonsense to feel bad bc im not as good as i could be within a hobby bc a hobby is supposed to be fun and occupy your time but i cant for the life of me not feel guilty about not drawing and not improving
like.. i have most of the resources. i often have the time. i have almost a thousand pictures in my reference folder to be used to practice and learn. i have an internet connection to be inspired and learn from those better than me and yet... i just don't feel like drawing. and i mean drawing something grand.. not just the dozens of doodles and oc refsheets i keep churning.. i want to do standalone pieces like i used to and look at them fondly and feel proud of something. but i just dont have the flame to do it for months and months on end
i mean obviously this is much more likely to happen when it has been your primary hobby for over like 7 years contrary to, say, webpage coding which i just started to learn like a year ago. what's keeping me from wanting to draw though? its so frustrating to know you Have the Potential to be a good artist and knowing How you could become more but just.. not feeling like it. and telling urself im gonna draw tomorrow and tomorrow comes and its one of those days you'd rather stare at a wall the whole afternoon and it just keeps going and going and you stay stumped
#yes i have the potential to do so much better than what i can show you right now dude trust me#not only for personal reasons but i also want to start looking into doing commissions for real and like.#thats insane#idk what to draw > set up comms so someone gives me smn to draw > they dont know what i can draw > idk what to draw > repeat#im also like the guy that loves giving gift art but ive had so many cases where i drew for a rando and they just. treated it like a product#sold along the character like cool! so glad i spent my time into a drawing for you to throw it into your garage sale like everything else!#and that looming fucking awful sense of 'originality' like boohoo someone drew this already waaaa i dont believe in originality why do i >#> care so much. Why. its like knowing there isnt a monster under ur bed and still suffocating yourself inside the bedsheets. nonsense...#this is so tiring. not drawing to me feels like neglecting a dear friend#even though i dont feel bad at not practicing at a game. at not knowing how to code everything in 2 days#at not knowing the best clays to sculpt or the best knitting tricks.#bc its a fucking hobby. i should feel obligated to do it i should have fun when i want to and yet i chain myself to it#i shouldn't fell obligated* oop#could you imagine how crazy stupid it'd be that a construction worker felt bad for not building some lately#WHY AM I LIKE THIS!!! I DONT GET IT!!!#dextxt#<its always funny to end a post with a cry and then have it followed by lowercase txt tag like teehee just another white guy moment#but i do mean im tired and frustrated and miserable for nothing.. war and hate on planet earth or whatever. *explodes*
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potatocatullus · 2 years
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Okay but like, moments of 'ah, I'm right where i want to be right now' Are fucking amazing
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